#this case doesn't feel to me like one of them

[nix-nihili]

Thinking about how Charles probably never tells Edwin about his father to the full extent because it's partially about vulnerability and the shame that comes with it.

It's about having to be around this one person day and night and not being able to open up to them fully because you can't just... walk away.

You can't just carve your chest open to place your beating heart in the other person's hands and walk away. You have to sit there and watch what they'll do with it. Whether they'll crush it and leave you with a bloody mess while saying that it doesn't really matter or treat it with so much tenderness you don't think you deserve.

(Because how could he ever deserve tenderness?)

See, Edwin is using these cases to build a case for himself against Hell. He's trying to prove himself here. We know this. But Charles is also trying to prove himself. Prove that he's not like his father or Brad and Hunter or the Devlin dad.

That he's not a creature of violence.

Because a part of him believes he can be just as bad as them. That sometimes he is. This is an insecurity of his. How can he tell the one person who seems to see nothing but good in him a glaring flaw? Who's to say that if he reveals things about this huge insecurity that Edwin won't realise the truth in it and agree with it?

(Crush his heart and leave it a bloody mess but at least it will be honest. At least the blood will be deserved.)

Or. Or Edwin will say that Charles is nothing like any of them. That he is good and kind and wonderful. That his hands are not made for hurting, that his purpose is not to ruin lives. That he is someone worthy of love.

(So much tenderness that feels undeserved, that feels worse because how has he managed to convince Edwin of all of this? How can Edwin believe any of this? Is this real or is he just being placated?)

So, if he takes Edwin up on his initial offer ("You can tell me anything"), he's revealing parts of himself he hasn't told anybody about in decades. To tell his best mate first? To be that vulnerable and not have a place to hide afterwards? To live with the fact that Edwin now knows about his insecurities and oh god does Edwin think about it? Does he run that conversation in his head over and over, picking apart the details until the picture is clearer and uglier? Has Edwin realised how much Charles doesn't deserve his kindness? His companionship? His love?

He can't do that. Fuck, how is he ever meant to do that? How is he ever meant to live with the shame of having told someone he has to see every day and wonder if they ever think that it's a bit hypocritical? Or worse, a bit ridiculous. A bit laughable. Not a big deal at all. That he's just been making a mountain out of a molehill and really he should leave it well and alone.

(even if a part of him knows Edwin could never do that. that Edwin is always kind. it is doing him a disservice to think of him this way. but sometimes the other part of him that cowers in fear is too loud.)

All in the past, right? Doesn't matter. He should really get over it. He'd been raised to get over it. Just another fact of life. So many people have had it worse. Hell, Edwin has had it worse. This is nothing compared to it.

(So, then why does it still haunt him?)

[megalony]

Bedroom Talk- Part 3

Here is the newest part of this Eddie Diaz series, thank you to the lovely anon who gave me the idea for this. I hope you will all like it.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro @itsgigikay @harry-satellite @midsummereve1993 @babyqueen17 @buckyyyismahhlife @sammiejane22

Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Bedroom Talk Masterlist

Summary: Eddie doesn't want to go through the struggle of another pregnancy, after the complications (Y/n) had last time. But things get complicated when she gets pregnant again.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A smile flashed across (Y/n)'s face and she set the basket of washing down so she could look across the bed at Lilah. The three year old was sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed, her head turned to one side and her arms bound around the latest teddy that had become her infatuation.

Moving forward, (Y/n) perched down on the end of the bed and watched her daughter shuffle closer. Her eyes wide with curiosity and a grin splashed across her dimpled face.

"Is it a boy?" Her nose scrunched up as she pulled a face and looked down at (Y/n)'s stomach.

They had deliberately waited until they were twenty weeks and until (Y/n) started to show before they told the kids they were having another baby. It felt safest. Neither (Y/n) or Eddie wanted to jump the gun and tell the kids in case any problem or complication happened and they had to think about terminating the pregnancy.

And both of them had been waiting for something to go wrong. It felt too good to be true that nothing had gone wrong so far. They were taking things one day at a time, trying their best not to get too eager or excited or too attached. Just in case.

(Y/n) could feel her smile softening and she felt shivers running down her spine when Lilah leaned across to rub her stomach.

"I don't know yet."

They had decided not to find out. They didn't know the gender when they had Chris, but that had been because Eddie had been away in the army and he was already missing so much of the pregnancy. (Y/n) didn't want to find out on her own.

They knew when they had Lilah, but this time, it felt better not to know. That stopped them from drowning in hope in case something happened. And it was almost a superstition for (Y/n). She knew with Lilah and that pregnancy had been horrid. Not knowing might just help her have a better pregnancy this time.

Their new motto was 'third time lucky'.

"Can it be a boy?" Lilah shuffled over and snuggled into (Y/n)'s side, curving around her stomach to cuddle into her.

It felt nice to be cuddling like this. God knows when she had Lilah, Chris had been rather weary. He wanted to hug (Y/n) and comfort her so badly when she was sick, but he didn't want to hurt her. At least so far, he wasn't afraid and (Y/n) wasn't extremely ill.

And this was the first time Lilah had seen (Y/n) pregnant, she was finding it fascinating, although (Y/n) knew she wasn't pleased about not being the youngest anymore.

"Why?" Reaching up, (Y/n) slowly started to card her fingers through the three year old's hair, brushing the locks away from her face.

"I wanna be the only girl."

"We'll have to wait and see." (Y/n) couldn't make any promises but if the baby was a girl, Lilah would just have to learn. It wouldn't be much different if the baby was a boy, she would still have to learn to share her parent's attention and play and be around a younger sibling.

"Why's baby there?" Lilah nuzzled her face against (Y/n)'s stomach and patted her hand there for a few moments.

"That's just where baby's grow, where you came from." (Y/n) wasn't ready for this line of conversation, and she found herself overwhelmed with relief when she heard the front door open and subsequently slam shut. "I think daddy's home."

She managed to press a kiss to the top of Lilah's head before the toddler was squealing and clambering off the bed so she could trot out of the room and find Eddie. Since his shift finished earlier today, he had gone to pick Chris up from school whereas Lilah had been at home with (Y/n) today, she wasn't in nursery full time yet.

It was a relief; (Y/n) didn't want to try and have that conversation with Lilah, she was far too young. She'd had enough amusement last time when Chris kept asking Eddie so many questions. Her favourite had been when he asked Eddie how he put the baby there; something Eddie didn't know how to answer.

Moving her hands to the bed, (Y/n) pushed herself up to her feet and turned round to reach for the washing basket again. She held the basket in front of her, trying not to tilt back and lean it against her bump.

She was only twenty-four weeks, but her bump was starting to get more prominent and Eddie was slowly thawing out and coming round to the idea of another baby. He wanted another, but the risks were still haunting him and the memory of last time stopped him from mellowing out.

It was almost as if Eddie had been believing they weren't having a baby, but now (Y/n) was starting to show and there was no going back, he was allowing himself to get a bit eager.

"Mum!"

"Hi baby," (Y/n) juggled the basket under one arm and wrapped her free arm around Chris when he hurried over to her. She pressed a kiss to his curls and ran her hand up and down his back. "Good day at school?"

"Yeah, science was fun." That was his favourite lesson. He had a love for all things inquizitive and Chris loved to watch documentaries with Buck and learn new information.

"That's good." She ran her hand up and down his side while Chris kissed her stomach. When he finally unravelled from her side, he moved to head into his room and (Y/n) walked ahead down the hall, aiming for the kitchen.

She paused in the hall, leaning against the kitchen doorway as she stared ahead at Eddie and their girl near the front door. Clearly, Eddie had barely got through the door before Lilah tackled him.

Her teddy was long forgotten on the floor and her arms were deadlocked around Eddie's neck as he picked her up and cocooned her into his chest. He pressed a dozen kisses to her cheeks and bounced her in his arms, clearly loving the welcoming he had received.

He pressed a few more kisses to her cheeks causing her to giggle in his arms, and when his eyes looked ahead and set on (Y/n), his grin softened like melting butter.

"Alright princess, you go find us a movie to watch, I'll be there in a minute." Eddie pressed another kiss to Lilah's temple before he leaned over and gently set her down to her feet.

He watched her scramble for her teddy and disappear into the living room and he just knew that when he went back through there in a few minutes, there would be a DVD mess. She would scatter all the movies along the floor to find the one she wanted to watch, it would be like an explosion happened in there.

Eddie kicked off his boots and made a beeline for (Y/n), following her into the kitchen when she started to walk.

"Good shift?" She called over her shoulder causing Eddie to smile, but he found his eyes narrowing when he watched her.

She had the wash basket tucked under her left arm, but her right hand moved to press into her lower back. A cringe tore through Eddie when he heard her spine click when she applied some pressure, and he saw the way it caused (Y/n) to wince.

(Y/n) paused and leaned into the counter on her right when she felt Eddie pressing up behind her. She grinned and hummed, tilting her head when his lips attached to the side of her neck and she felt his arm loop around the right side of her chest just beneath her arm.

"Rather slow today." He murmured the words against her neck, barely letting his lips leave her skin. "Give me that, amor."

A jolt tore through (Y/n)'s system and her lips parted when the basket beneath her arm was suddenly whisked out of her hold. She dropped to the left as if following the washing but quickly recovered her balance enough to look over her shoulder at her husband. She arched a brow and hummed when he swooped in for a kiss, clearly trying to distract her.

"I can do it." (Y/n) pulled on his lower lip and reached her hand out for the basket, but Eddie simply tutted against her mouth and shook his head. "Baby," She twisted to look at him but Eddie was already unravelling from her and moving towards the washer.

He held the basket in one hand as if it weighed nothing more than a pillow and (Y/n) couldn't help but shiver.

"So your back isn't hurting?" Eddie glanced over his shoulder as he leant down and started loading the washer, waiting for (Y/n) to protest and try to lie to him. But she rolled her lips together and glanced down at the floor rather than at his expression that was enough to melt her into a puddle.

"It's just a bit sore." She mumbled defeatedly, seeing as Eddie was already doing the job she had tried to start and there was no use arguing with him.

"So sit down and I'll sort the washing."

Moving over to stand behind him, (Y/n) looped her arms around his torso and pressed her cheek against his back. She loved the feeling of Eddie's chest vibrating as he quietly chuckled and carried on. He leaned from one side to the next, loading the machine and turning it on while (Y/n) stayed attached to him like a monkey.

"Go sit down," Eddie urged quietly as he paused in front of the sink, trying his best to look over his shoulder but he couldn't get a clear view of (Y/n). Not with the way she was clinging to his back like this.

"I'm fine."

"You really think you're gonna convince me?"

Trying to be careful, he turned around in (Y/n)'s embrace so his back was leant against the counter and he folded his arms over his chest, leaning back when (Y/n) leant forward. He couldn't stop his lips from curving into a smile when she perched her chin on his forearms and squeezed her arms around his torso.

(Y/n) didn't believe she could convince him, she wasn't sure why she was still trying, so she settled for smiling sweetly at him instead.

"We said we'd be cautious this time," With a sigh, Eddie uncrossed his arms and looped them around the back of (Y/n)'s shoulders instead. "So, if your back hurts, sit down and rest. Please."

Her lips curved into a smile when she felt Eddie's lips smothering her temple and she felt his fingers ghosting up and down her back, tracing over her spine. Pushing forward, (Y/n) pressed her temple into Eddie's chest, inhaling the scent of the cherry shower gel he always used when he got a shower at work.

Eddie was relieved that this pregnancy seemed to be going far better than when they had Lilah. The morning sickness wasn't nearly as bad as last time and (Y/n) wasn't sick to her stomach at the smell of food or laid in bed with no energy to get herself up at all.

But if she didn't feel well or something was wrong, Eddie needed her to tell him and to go sit down. He wasn't taking any chances this time. If she had back ache Eddie didn't want her making it any worse by trying to do everything around the house; that was what he was here for. If she pushed herself too hard or strained too much she could have another abruption like last time and he wasn't risking it.

He would much rather play it safe and he wanted (Y/n) to relax and have as little stress as possible this time around.

"Well then you need to sit with me, I haven't seen you all day."

Retracting her arms from Eddie's back, (Y/n) trailed her fingertips up his chest until she could cup his neck. Her thumb traced the tip of his jaw and along his chin before she pushed up on her toes to catch him in a kiss.

If she was going to go and sit down, then he had to accompany her so she wouldn't be so lonely.

She could feel him smiling down into the kiss and his tongue traced her lower lip while he shifted his hands to hold her hips. His fingertips squeezed lovingly into her flesh and he pressed against her, pushing off the counter so he could gently walk her backwards. If he had to sit with her to get her to rest, he was more than happy to oblige.

His hands stayed on her hips, even as their lips finally detached and (Y/n) turned so she could see where she was going rather than walk backwards blindly. She felt his lips attaching to the back of her head and she couldn't bite back her smile when his hand slid round from her hip to her stomach instead.

This is what (Y/n) felt like she had missed out on last time. They had spent the majority of her second pregnancy just panicking and feeling crappy and thinking the worst. Eddie hadn't been there when she had Chris and then with Lilah, those touches and hugs and kisses were laced with panic and pain.

(Y/n) liked this, where Eddie would wrap around her or feel the baby start to move and they didn't have to panic that something was going to go wrong. Or she didn't feel deflated and drained and like she was on death's door.

It was relieving that Eddie was finally letting himself get close to this baby, he was reaching out for her and touching. Rather than trying to detach from the situation and hold back his enthusiasm.

When they walked into the living room, Eddie shifted his right hand from (Y/n)'s hip to clamp his hand down on his own hip. His head tilted to one side and he huffed, arching a brow when he looked at their daughter.

As expected, the three year old was sat on the floor, DVDs scattered all around her and a cheeky smile lighting up her face as she seemed to have found the one she wanted to watch.

"Did a bomb go off in here?" Eddie mused, staring his daughter down when she looked up at him and just grinned.

A giggly "Exploded!" left Lilah's lips before she waved the DVD out towards Eddie, showing him the one she wanted him to put on the tv for her.

Eddie pressed a lasting kiss to the side of (Y/n)'s head and waited for her to ease down onto the sofa before he moved over to Lilah. He crouched down in front of her and took the case from her and he brushed his free hand beneath her chin, tilting her head up towards him.

"Be my hero and put them back for me, princess." He pecked her temple and motioned to the cases.

As usual, he noticed that Lilah started to organise the cases in piles of colours. She would group them together and then line them up in the cabinet in order of the rainbow colours. It bugged Chris, who liked them in order of release since they were mostly Disney movies and had the collection numbers on the sleeves.

"Good girl." Once she'd sorted them into piles, Eddie swooped down and picked her up, spinning her around to hear her squeal before he sat down on the sofa with her on his lap.

***

"Mum…" Tilting his head back, Chris looked behind him at (Y/n) and slouched his shoulders back against the bottom of the sofa. He brought his knees up to his stomach and held the colouring book up for her to see the latest picture he had done.

Chris had a few of his school books scattered on the coffee table, but he had done the little bits of homework he needed to do. So he had switched to colouring, and he was working on a baking book that had lots of different cakes, cookies, desserts and designs to colour in.

"Looking good… why's that one green?" A soft grin formed on (Y/n)'s lips but she reached out to point at one of the cakes. The cake itself, Chris had coloured in orange, but the icing was bright lime green.

"Halloween theme."

"Oh. We'll have to make a cake this year, Bobby's throwing a halloween party."

"We going?" The excitement was clear in Chris's voice and he grinned up at (Y/n) when she leaned over to peck his temple.

"Of course."

Twisting on her side a little more, (Y/n) leaned her arm over and looped it around Chris's chest so she could give him a sideways hug. She was laid on the sofa with a cushion behind her back and Chris sat on the floor in front of her so he could both watch tv and do some colouring.

She ran her fingers through his messy curls and leaned over to watch him do some more colouring as he switched to a different page.

Her eyes cast over to the armchair and a smile softened on her lips when she looked at Lilah. She was curled up in the chair, cuddling one of the cushions, her head hanging dangerously close to the edge of the chair and a pacifier between her lips. She had been full of energy all morning so it was only right that she had a power nap now.

Pushing up on her elbow, (Y/n) tried to find the will power to sit herself up but it was hard when she had been laid here quite comfortably for the last hour or so.

The sound of footsteps caught her attention and she tilted her head back to see Eddie padding barefoot into the living room. He'd gotten a shower and seemingly gotten changed into some slacks. A familiar pair of joggers now hung low on his hips and one of his pyjama shirts clung tightly to his frame.

"Babe, her head," (Y/n) waved her hand towards Lilah to get Eddie's attention.

He crouched down in front of the chair, grinning widely as he carefully slipped his hand beneath her cheek and nudged her head back. He wriggled her shoulders back a little so she was curled up properly rather than half sliding off the chair.

A quiet "Thank you," passed (Y/n)'s lips and she swatted her hand down on Eddie's bum as he walked in front of her. He carefully climbed around Chris, ruffling his hair in the process before he slumped down next to (Y/n) on the sofa.

He carefully lifted her legs and laid them over his lap instead so he could slouch down into the sofa. His hand started trailing up and down (Y/n)'s leg and up towards her thigh and he began drawing patterns into her skin.

"Mum said we're going to a halloween party." Chris looked over his shoulder towards Eddie who rose a brow as a smile flooded his face.

"Yeah, at the end of the month buddy. You need to think of what you wanna dress up as." Eddie was rather excited for the party, they hadn't gone last year because (Y/n) hadn't been well and Eddie had been on shift, but this year all of the station were able to go. Bobby always threw a good party and it was tradition for the Diaz family to dress up.

Last year Chris had dressed up and Buck had taken him trick of treating for a while since Eddie was working. While Lilah stayed home with (Y/n).

Eddie went back to tracing his fingers up and down (Y/n)'s thigh, his eyes darting down to Chris every now and then as he started to stim and rock back and forth. Clearly happy and thinking hard about what he wanted to be for the party. He would change his mind quite a few times from now up until they got him a costume.

When his phone buzzed in his pocket, Eddie lifted his hips up and tried to fish his phone out of his pocket. But his eyes cast across to (Y/n) when her leg jerked on his lap and she winced.

"You okay?" His eyes cast down to her and he placed his phone on the armrest while his hand squeezed her thigh.

He watched the way (Y/n) glanced across at him and nodded, despite the way her cheek twitched when she winced. He leaned to the right so he was slouched a bit closer to her and his eyes ran up and down her frame, trying to find out what was wrong.

"Amor, what's wrong?" His words were whispered quietly against her arm as he leaned over and pecked her shoulder.

"Nothing, just jarred my ankle, I think I slept funny." (Y/n) coiled her knees up towards her stomach so she could trace her fingertips over her left ankle. She had been fine yesterday, but when she woke up today, her foot spasmed every now and then and she had an ache in the back of her ankle. It was probably the way she laid or tossed and turned during the night.

She smiled and burrowed her face down into the pillow, shimmying to get comfy again now that Eddie had slouched so he was almost laid behind her with her lower legs still draped over his lap.

"I can't see my feet anymore anyway." She grinned and reached her hand up to run her fingers up and down his arm.

She felt Eddie kiss her shoulder again before he sat back up straight and gingerly reached down for her ankle. He pulled up the bottom of her leggings so he could take a look and (Y/n) sucked her lower lip between her teeth to stop from wincing when he touched a sore spot at the back of her ankle.

"I think you might have sprained it."

"Sounds about right, doesn't hurt much though." They shared a look and Eddie's lips set into a stern line made (Y/n) shiver. That silent look told her that maybe she should have told him earlier and it wasn't very comforting to him that she wasn't in pain because she had still hurt herself.

After a few minutes, (Y/n) slowly lowered her legs from Eddie's lap and when she pushed up, she found her lips curving into a grin. His hand reached out for her elbow and he helped her sit up, his expression softening when (Y/n) pecked his cheek and squeezed his thigh.

She kept hold of his thigh and used him as leverage to push herself up to her feet, but a gasp tumbled past her lips when both Eddie's hands clamped down on her hips, preventing her from walking away. He didn't let go and when he gave a few tugs, (Y/n) gave in and sat back down.

She watched with intrigue as his arms looped around her waist and his lips attached to her neck.

"Where are you going?" He murmured against her neck, pulling her back so she was leaning into his chest which just made her more tired. She let her head rest on his shoulder but (Y/n) knew if she didn't move soon she would never have the will to get up again.

"To make dinner? Or aren't you hungry?"

"You've hurt your ankle and you're tired, just get some rest, I'll do it." Eddie gave her a pointed look when he saw the amusement light up her eyes.

"You can't cook." Affection flooded (Y/n)'s tone so he knew she wasn't trying to be rude or rebute his offer, but they all knew Eddie was no chef. He was more of a helping hand in the kitchen, cutting veg and washing the pots rather than actually frying or baking or making anything.

"Chris can supervise." Eddie looked down at their eldest who turned and nodded, already tossing his colours back into the box of pens and pencils. He enjoyed cooking, he would gladly help.

"Baby…" Reaching her hand up, (Y/n) gently cupped his jaw, gliding her thumb across his cheek as she caught him in a kiss. "I'm fine."

Eddie almost smiled against her lips when he felt her try to get up again while Chris had already toddled off into the kitchen. Kissing him wasn't going to distract him enough to make him give in on this. He tightened his hands on her hips and nudged her until she was laid back down on the sofa like she had been before. Their lips still attached as he moved onto his knees to lean over her.

He traced his hand along the side of her stomach and sucked her lower lip between his teeth before they finally parted and he moved around. He got up to his feet, staying stooped over so he could peck her lips again, and then her temple.

"I'd better not see you walking on that ankle for the rest of the day, mi amor. Bed rest it is."

A shiver ran through (Y/n)'s blood as she stared up at those dark eyes that were piercing through her like he was giving her an order she couldn't break.

"We're not taking any risks this time, remember?" He muttered against her temple, tracing his hand along her stomach again before he pulled back. His eyes glanced down to the armchair, checking that Lilah was still asleep and not about to fall off the chair before he headed into the kitchen to find Chris.

If (Y/n) was hurt or not feeling her best then he wanted her to sit down and take it easy. While he was home he would try and do what he could so that she didn't have to.

God knows if Eddie was at work when (Y/n) didn't feel well she would push through the feeling and try to ignore it. She couldn't exactly sit down when she had two kids to look after. So while Eddie was home, he would do everything.

***

Dragging her shirt over her head, (Y/n) pulled it down, but she stopped it just before her stomach. She traced her fingertips across her bump, unable to fight off a smile. Her shape was changing again.

It was still strange to be feeling like this for a third time. After agreeing not to have anymore kids and living each day with the knowledge that it was a risk, that history could repeat itself. And remembering how it had gone last time, it felt strange to be back in this position again.

But this time it was working out better. At least, better than with Lilah, and Eddie was experiencing it with her. They weren't feeling down or upset or in agony, and it was already going better than they expected.

They could finally start thinking of this as a third baby and not just worry that it would be a problem or a direct route to heartache.

The only thing they had to worry about was labour, and convincing the doctor that a C-section was the best course for this pregnancy. "We can worry about that later." (Y/n) murmured to her stomach as she ran her hands along her bump a few more times before she pulled her shirt down.

Her hands moved to her hair and she gathered it up into a ponytail and she turned towards the door. Lilah should be fast asleep by now with Eddie, and Chris would no doubt want to watch a movie before bed.

A gasp tumbled past (Y/n)'s lips and she slammed her arms out in front of her when a striking pain tore up the back of her left ankle which gave way beneath her.

Her eyes slammed closed on impact and her hands grappled for the sink when she fell against it. But she couldn't smother the tepid cry that left her lips when her knees crashed to the tiled floor which felt horrid as if her knees had just smashed on impact. Shakes tore through her body and she stayed curled over as low pulses tremored through her.

Moving her hands to her thighs, (Y/n) slumped round until she was sat on the floor with her legs curled awkwardly beneath her. She leaned against the sink, one hand gripping the basin to try and keep herself sitting up while her other hand dug into her thigh.

Another tremor rattled through her when she looked up and the bathroom door hurriedly opened.

Tilting his head to one side, Chris clung to the door and pushed into it like he was trying to camouflage himself into his surroundings. His eyes locked on his mum and he waited a few moments, trying to see if she was okay after the thud he had just heard.

Chris wasn't blind, he knew the ankle (Y/n) was trying to touch and assess was the one she said had hurt yesterday when they were watching a movie.

"Mum?"

"I- I'm okay. You need the bathroom, baby?" (Y/n) managed a smile and tried twisting round to reach up for the sink to get herself up, but she stopped when Chris scurried away from the door.

"I'm getting dad." He was away from the door and rushing down the hall before (Y/n) could call out for him and she sighed.

Great.

"Dad!" Chris hurried to the end room and pushed into his parent's bedroom, locking eyes with Eddie immediately.

His dad was laid in the middle of the bed, Lilah curled up happily on his chest, fast asleep. Eddie did a night shift last night and had been awake all day today so when Lilah needed to settle for bed, Eddie brought her into his room so he could take a power nap. He wouldn't be far behind her once she was asleep in her own bed.

He looked like he was about to fall asleep right there, laid in his pyjama bottoms, slouched down against a mountain of pillows. The covers were tangled around his feet and there was a thin blanket draped around Lilah who was breathing softly into his chest. Drooling onto his bare chest with a pacifier in her mouth.

When Eddie looked towards the door, he smiled but pressed a finger to his lips, he didn't want Lilah to wake up or else it would take a while to settle her again.

"You okay buddy?"

"Mum fell."

A frown etched onto Eddie's face and he nodded before he looked down at Lilah. His hands moved to her back and the back of her head as he slowly rolled to the right and eased her down onto the bed. He wrapped the blanket around her and kissed the top of her head before he quickly got up.

"Sit with your sister for me?" They traded places and Chris eagerly clambered into Eddie's spot in the bed and tucked himself under the covers. Eddie took that as a hint that both kids were going to stay in bed with them for a while, not that he minded. Chris could watch a movie in their room while Eddie fell asleep.

He kissed Chris's curls before he headed out of the room, guessing that (Y/n) was in the bathroom because the door was open and the light was seeping out into the dark hallway.

"Amor, Chris said you fell."

His eyes raked over (Y/n) as she sat on the floor, one hand on the sink and both legs curled beneath her. Pushing off the door frame, Eddie crouched down in front of her, his hands clasped between his thighs and when he rose a brow, it was a silent demand telling her not to lie to him.

"My ankle twisted." Her eyes glanced down to her ankle that had given way on her a few minutes ago.

The soft "Let me see," that passed Eddie's lips made adrenaline pool in (Y/n)'s stomach and she shivered when his hands were on her leg. Gently stretching her leg out towards him as he pressed on her ankle. It was starting to swell around her heel and up the back of her ankle.

"That sprain just got worse. You need to see a doctor."

(Y/n) shook her head, trying to smile but she couldn't manage it. She didn't want to go to the doctor. "No, baby I'm fine… help me up?"

"No, that's not fine. Did you hurt yourself when you fell? Your stomach?"

(Y/n) shivered when Eddie's hands switched to reach out for her stomach and she gently cupped his wrist, moving his hand around to feel the side of her bump where a sudden kicking tore at her abdomen.

"I don't think so," (Y/n) looped her arms around Eddie's neck, feeling relieved when his hands cupped her hips and he took the hint. He slowly pushed up to his feet and helped her up, but his lips pursed into a frown when he watched (Y/n) lean her weight onto her right foot. She barely pressed her toes down on the floor on her left foot, clearly it was hurting her.

"I'll take you to the doctor tomorrow before work."

"Baby-"

"No chances and no risks this time, remember?" Eddie wasn't risking this fall leafing to something worse. They had no idea what happened last time to cause the placental abruption (Y/n) had with Lilah. It could have been something or nothing.

But Eddie knew a fall was a risk of causing an abruption and he didn't want that happening. That would cause more problems and limit (Y/n) like last time, she would have to take things even easier and maybe be on bed rest. Eddie wouldn't take any risks this time around.

Once they'd taken Chris to school and Lilah to nursery, he would take (Y/n) to the doctor to check her ankle and make sure the baby was okay.

(Y/n) bit her lip but she nodded in agreement, letting Eddie steal a kiss from her. But she gasped when his hands raked down her sides and cupped the back of her thighs. He gripped firmly, digging his fingers into her flesh and hoisted her up as if she weighed nothing. Her legs looped around his torso and she let him turn and carry her out the bathroom, towards the bedroom.

"Let's not make that ankle any worse, hm?"

[qqueenofhades]

I may very well be getting too far ahead of myself here, but reading your last two (back to back, hot diggity damn, queen!) essays got me thinking about the future. In the beautiful possible future where we keep up the fight, elect Kamala, and keep Trump out of office for another 4 years, do you think there's a real possibility we'll be seeing the same election (Kamala vs Trump) in 2028?

I hear the arguments against the possibility - he's old and unhealthy so he'll probably die (not counting in it), the Republicans cannot be stupid enough to try again (they can), his fragile ego will be too broken to try again (his ego disconnected from reality long, long ago), he'll be in jail (unlikely with this Supreme Court, and hilariously we have no laws preventing someone in jail from running), but even the sum total of them doesn't seem like enough to count him out.

Mind you, if he does run against Kamala in 2028, I feel like the odds would be on our side? I'm just. So. Tired of this guy. I'll keep fighting till the day I die, but it'd be nice if we could actually see this dude go down and take on the next one.

We honestly have a good shot to shut ourselves of Trump forever at this election, because of the simple fact that he is in rapid dementia decline and I honestly don't think he'll be remotely sane in another 4 years. Not that he's sane now, but at age 82 after another four years of associated legal troubles and/or penalties complete with his rapidly unraveling mental state... I just don't think it will be possible even for the withered husk of the GOP to trot him out again, and I say that as someone who always unfortunately knew he would be the nominee again in 2024 despite some overly optimistic prognostications to the contrary by others. As I've said before, this is the last-chance saloon for Trump in any number of ways, and that is part of the reason he is so desperate now.

We can't count on the legal system to rid us of Trump before the election, but the delayed sentencing in his NY felony trial is coming a couple weeks afterwards, the Jan 6th trial has restarted, and the 11th Circuit is fairly likely to reinstate the Mar-a-Lago classified documents case. Trump running for president is a convenient grift to pay his legal bills, and if he gets crushed in November, even the most faithful MAGA diehard are going to find it hard to keep coughing up for his various fundraising appeals. I mean sure, he'll get something, because some of the cult members will be in it to the bitter end, but overall, he will be fucked. On many, many levels.

This is the delightful vision that is fueling me and frankly should fuel all of us, so yes. Vote. Remove stubborn orange stains, once and possibly fucking finally for all. Please.

[culturalsillystine]

This ended up longer than I intended.

Here's a long rant about Zero Day, denial, and finding comfort in your sickness.

.

One of the things that's stuck with us since our first time watching Zero Day is when Cal says something about not being able to cure someone who has nothing wrong with them.

Some people get so deep into their illness that they start to tell themselves, "There is nothing wrong with me." It's self-soothing, in a way. You have nothing to fix if there's nothing wrong, right? And you get sucked further and further into it until it's all you know, so it becomes normal. There's truly nothing wrong with you, because it's your norm, and how could that be wrong?

And then you get worse and worse until something happens. It could be something bad, such as Cal and Andre's case. Something people would usually never consider. But when you're sick, you're sick, and things don't make sense, and it doesn't matter what people would or wouldn't consider. Because you would, and you're normal. There's nothing wrong with you.

That, or you get help. And Andre briefly mentions something, I think it may be before what Cal says? I'm not sure, correct me if I'm wrong. But he mentions something, says that even if they did get caught and got put in counseling or something, they'd get out, and they'd still do it.

And that leads you to wonder, is that true? Is that truly what would happen? Or are they feeling so untouchable and so powerful that they think NOTHING can stop them. Not even professional help.

And we'll never know. That's what I enjoy about Zero Day, there's so much we never know. We just have to trust these two boys who will present you with their truth, not the truth.

We see very little of Cal's family, and what we do see isn't bad. What we see of Andre's is.. conflicting. His family means well, but he's an 18 year old boy who likes guns and doesn't seem to get enough appreciation from his father. It writes itself, really.

We see none of Andre interacting with his peers, we only see Cal during the prom scenes. And the prom scenes are loud and irritating and awkward. He doesn't really try to be social, he takes the next possible chance to go to the only person he really bothers socializing with; Andre.

They're both very sick. Whether it's the same thing, something similar, or something entirely different, who's to say, but they find comfort in each other. They're both rotting away, and it's okay, because it's together. Whether or not it's based in love (platonic or romantic) or a hatred for the world so deep that your vision is blurred by your tears of rage, who knows. You never get to know.

Because the last thing those boys would want is to be vulnerable. Because that means something is wrong. But nothing can be wrong, because you're normal. There's nothing wrong with you.

I hope this makes sense and isn't incoherent.

[sitp-recs]

Part II: table for two

Following my list featuring the sea (now with a lil banner cause I’m getting in the reccing zone again baby!!!!), I thought I’d make this a series called “fic as a sensory delight” and continue the trend with good old Drarry domesticity walking hand in hand with some food porn appreciation. Who knew that Drarry living their best life while enjoying tasty treats could be so personal? These fics feel like a comfort meal when life gets too crazy and provide a delicious sensory experience. From cottagecore to road trips, found family, case fic, established relationship and even kinky delights - this list has a bit of everything and features food as a main character either bringing Drarry together, healing past traumas, helping them connect with their heritage or simply playing as a love language. I hope these fics bring you as much comfort, joy and healing as they brought me. Happy weekend!

🥘 Breakfast by @moonflower-rose (E, 3k)

Breakfast is Harry's favorite part of the day.

🥘 Market Saturdays by @sorrybutblog (M, 3k)

In which Harry is an accidental part-time cheesemonger, Draco is an organic farmer and they fall in love. Not an AU.

🥘 Salt and Sauce by onbeinganangel (T, 3k)

Sure, of course he knows how you take your tea. But does he know your chippy order?

🥘 Cupboard Love by @shealwaysreads (G, 4k)

Harry’s life, and love, in food.

🥘 Don't Bite the Hand That Feeds You by InnerLilith (E, 11k)

In which Harry takes Draco out for Eritrean food, and Draco has a severe obsession with Harry’s hands. Smut ensues.

🥘 Harry Potter and the Showstopper of Doom by @doubleappled (M, 11k)

In which Harry’s an amateur baker, Draco wants him to go on the Great British Bake-Off, Petunia never misses an episode, Sue is a witch, Paul Hollywood is Paul Hollywood, and everyone eats a lot — like a whole lot — of baked goods.

🥘 Poppiholla by @moonflower-rose (M, 13k)

Harry had accepted that he would pine silently for Malfoy forever, but one, humid summer might change that.

🥘 Connecting Lines, Connecting Crimes by @sleepstxtic (M, 15k)

“Hello, Harry,” Draco said. He was wearing a black turtleneck under a long grey overcoat, and he was already flushed with sweat. His hair was tied into a knot; it was longer than I remembered. He was older than I remembered. There were lines around his eyes, and I wondered if they were from laughing or frowning. “Hello,” I managed. “You must be with the British Ministry?’ He nodded. I thought I might faint.

🥘 Bridges by @cavendishbutterfly (E, 16k)

Harry and Draco are on a trip to Budapest to help with Kingsley's re-election, but that's the boring bit. More interesting: Harry Potter is changing his Tinder preferences to include men. Also interesting: Harry's spending more time with Draco Malfoy than he ever has, wandering around the city. And Harry doesn't hate it. The city's pretty gorgeous too.

🥘 Sourdough by @academicdisasterfic (M, 17k)

Draco writes romance novels and doesn't leave his apartment much. Harry bakes bread and sells it to Draco. Draco is quite weird. Harry might like that.

🥘 Preserving Lemons by @saintgarbanzo, @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm (E, 17k)

Harry is cooking food he couldn't care less about; Draco is making art he couldn't care more about. A story about kebabs, miniskirts and the way preservation can transform a lemon.

🥘 Passion Cake by @icmezzo (T, 19k)

It’s all about desire. (Harry orders a magically enhanced cake from a chic London bakery, and from there it all goes to hell in a cake tin. Also, will someone please tell Harry what Passion Cake is?)

🥘 Knead by laughingd0g (E, 83k)

This is not a story about Harry renovating Grimmauld Place. This is a story about coffee shops and brewpubs, about Ginny and Luna on a farm with creatures, about magical Oregon, coastal road trips, flying, friendship, and Draco Malfoy's lean arms.

🥘 Soup-pocalypse and The Great Curry Cataclysm by SquadOfCats (E, 104k)

Eleven years after the war, Draco Malfoy leads a quiet, boring, and perfectly respectable life, thanks very much. Or, at least he does, until a sudden and very unexpected veela awakening causes him to throw soup all over Harry Potter in the middle of the Ministry cafeteria.

🥘 Make This Leap by @oflights (M, 118k)

Harry owns a struggling restaurant which is running out of money, and his Head Chef has just handed in notice. He's at a bit of a loss as to what to do until Narcissa Malfoy presents an obvious solution: bring in Draco Malfoy as Chef and part owner. Harry does.

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Book Thoughts: Ellen and Oscar

Re-reading RWRB and thinking about Oscar and Ellen. The thing is book Ellen and Oscar's relationship scares me because it's like the worst-case scenario of my own parents (they're a lot better now but covid was hell) So I understand it.

Ellen and Oscar are soulmates. As in they are both intelligent, stubborn and headstrong. They are very similar people. Unfortunately this is a case where it's like forcefully pushing two North ends of a magnet together: Ellen in particular wants and needs a complimentary relationship instead of collaborative relationship, which is why Leo works for her: Leo is meek compared to Oscar. He really just listens and generally agrees with Ellen. His appearances are limited in the book but when he does show up he doesn't really have his own opinion. Ellen wants/needs someone who won't speak up against her.

Honestly? I, kinda feel sad for Oscar. He said it himself, "We're both too fucking proud. But God, that woman. Your mother is, without question, the love of my life. I'll never love anyone else like that." It's sad to know that he never stopped loving Ellen while vice versa isn't true, and to know that she's it for Oscar.

When it comes to parenting I honestly think Oscar is the better parent. It was really shitty of him to leave without telling Alex and June and that evidently really hurt Alex til this day, but when it comes to the other parent things? I was re-reading/listening to Chapter Four today when he goes to DC for Christmas, and both Alex and June are so much more comfortable with him. Part of that is probably because he doesn't carry the inherent pressure of being the fucking president, but part of it is that he really cares about his kids as they are. Ellen downplays June's passion for journalism and pressures her into a political job that she didn't want at all, while Oscar "raved about June's latest blog post for The Atlantic". Ellen immediately started piling up all the political consequences of firstprince literally minutes after Alex plucked up the courage to come out to her while Oscar gave him relationship advice. This isn't to say Ellen isn't a good mother, she is flawed, as Oscar is, as all parents are. But if we're looking at non-crisis moments, Oscar's actions are more comfortable for his children.

There's a reason June initially wanted to go to California and be close to her dad. Yesterday I talked a little about how I hated how Ellen and Alex treated June at the earlier chapters of the book. Well in the rest of the book it's implied that she has a much closer relationship with Oscar, jumping into his arms when he arrives at the White House, him picking her up and spinning her when they arrive at the lakehouse.

Either way, Ellen and Oscar clash becasue they're too alike, and my opinion is that Ellen tends to fan the flames more, see Christmas dinner where Oscar suggests campaigning with them to help and she immediately shoots it down with "you can't be serious". Anyways, the children suffer the most. And uh, speaking from experience here, that shit never goes away. My parents are still together and are a lot better compared to the past, but I flinch at any sound of argument/angry yelling because of all of their fighting.

And there's this one paragraph in the book: "Even before Alex's parents split, they both had a habit of calling him by the other's last name when he exhibited a particular trait. They still do. When he runs his mouth off to the press, his mom called him into her office and says ' get your shit together Diaz.' When his hard-headedness gets him stuck, his dad texts him, 'Let it go, Claremont'" and God that's so shitty? To know, to be reminded that one parent hates the part of you that is from the other parent. Even if that's not what Ellen and Oscar's intention is, that's what it feels like, and it's really, fucking, shitty.

I wonder how would book Alex feel if he know that there was an alternative universe out there where his family was functional. I wonder how would he feel if he knew that movie Alex doesn't have his loving sister, but has loving, gentle parents who have a healthy, functional relationship.

My guess, is that he would say that he'd choose his life and his sister no matter what, and he means it because he does love June, but deep down a part of him would be jealous of movie Alex for having a smaller but healthier and happier family.

[callofdudes]

*presents to you* price being a father figure to you and bringing you back to meet his wife where she treats you like her child 😭😭😭😭

Three makes a family.

John Price's history with his inability to have children was a rough one. His wife was a gentle woman with the heart of a lion inside. She had all the care a mother could provide and no children she could pour her love into. It was a struggle, but over the years they'd made due with themselves.

The idea of adoption has come up a few times, but John doesn't like the thought of being away so much from said child. It just wasn't a good situation they had found themselves in.

Price creating the 141 was just one of those ways that Price felt what it might be like to have family. Sure, he got his fair experience of what rounding up a gaggle of children would have been like. But he enjoyed the feeling of having fellow adults he could meet on his level while feeling paternal toward them.

You are one of them.

Price has had his fair share of wild run ins with you. And he's no stranger to getting you and John for something. But you were a good soldier regardless.

Talk of his family was limited of course. You guys knew he didn't have children, but not much more than that. Simon had been to the house before but refused to tell, it wasn't the greatest time when you visited anyway.

But now it's your turn to take up the mantle. Price's wife had decided she wanted company over at the house when he returned, so he invited one of you in secret as to not make the others potentially jealous or crowd his wife.

And that's how you got here, in the busy rush of the airport and following Price like a loet lamb to find the exit after grabbing your bags. Price looked around for his wife, and he spotted a sign with his name, and the most beautiful woman.

He smiled and led you over, falling in love all over again when he saw her.

"John!" She put the sign down and rushed to hug him, his firm arms curling around her. "Rebecca." *He replied fondly, kissing the top of her head. She had chest length blonde hair and a simple but lovely complexion.

You couldn't help a little smile at seeing them reunited, and a tad sheepish at meeting your captain's wife.

She opened her eyes, still smooshed against his chest and waved at you softly.

You waved back shyly.

They pulled away and Rebecca held out her hand to you. "Rebecca, and you are-"

"Everyone on base calls me Egg."

"Ah, John has told me a lot about you." She motioned for you two to follow her, walking with you back to the entrance of the airport.

"Wait- what has he been saying??" You cocked an eyebrow up.

"Only good things I promise." Price said quickly, to which Rebecca chuckled and shook her head softly.

You shot Price a look, and he innocently turned his head away to look back at his wife like nothing happened.

Rebecca gave you an entire window tour on the way back. You didn't mind listening to her introduce you to everything you passed. Her tone was warm and her smile never left her lips when he addressed you. It made you feel welcome, it was such a warm feeling that you felt around Price. Fitting.

Their house was beautiful, as much as London homes are, but theirs had a particular charm to it. Like a newly wed couple buying their first house together and never moving.

You lugged your bags up the driveway and into the house behind Rebecca, Price keeping the door open for you.

"Your place is nice." You commented when you put your bags down.

"Thank you. The spare bedroom is upstairs, I'll show you." She slipped her shoes off and motioned for you to follow.

The spare bedroom was a queen mattress, the walls were a light baby blue, and it made you smile. "Child's room?" You asked without thinking, and soon realizing your mistake.

Rebecca smiled, though her eyes dimmed in sadness. "We'd hoped. But you can have it." She went to the closet and pulled out some extra blankets. "In case it gets cold you can layer up. And if you need anything in here don't hesitate to tell us."

You nodded. "Thank you, I will."

Price squeezed your shoulder as you went to set up the room, and then turned to greet his wife properly with a loving kiss.

---

The first couple days at the house were nice, Rebecca was incredibly hospitable. She accommodated what you needed, and the double attention from Price was a win for you.

Rebecca couldn't help seeing you as a kiddo for her to take care of. The way Price was with you, wrapping an arm around you for snuggles or teasing you at dinner.

"Do you like cookies??" She asked from the kitchen as she kneaded the small balls of cookie dough and placed them on a tray.

"Cookies sound good. What kind??" You looked over at her from the table.

"Just chocolate chip. I figured I'd go simple."

You smiled a little. "Yeah, that sounds nice."

She nodded and finished putting the cookies on the tray and slid them into the oven. "They'll be out in a bit." She came by and gently patted your shoulder, a comforting touch from her.

Price came in from the patio after having a smoke and coughed when he walked in.

Rebecca and you both looked at him when he entered.

"John, be careful." Rebecca scolded softly, walking over and lifting his chin, seeing his tired eyes. She sighed softly and took his hand. "Go relax darling, a nap will do you more good than a cigar."

He hummed and shrugged. He tiredly stole a kiss from her lips before he had to lean into his arm to cough again.

You put your phone down and lightly shake your head. "Come on Captain."

Price huffed indignantly. "Oh so now both of you are policing me around??" He smirked and tugged Rebecca in by her waist and allowed you over.

But he didn't fight, allowing himself to be led to bed, and he flopped down, feeling you curl up to his left side, and Rebecca got comfy with a book at his other.

Price squeezed her hand and ruffled your hair. He wasn't old, but mannnn, he loves his old man naps.

You smiled as you got comfy, looking up at Rebecca. She looked back at you and smiled too, letting you rest.

And you woke up to the delicious smell of chocolate chip cookies. Price searched lazily for Rebecca, his arm still securely wrapped around you.

You yawned and rolled, hiding against his chest. He patted your shoulder and looked over at the door. "C'mon... I smell cookies."

"Ok..." You groaned and managed to drag yourself off of Price's chest and follow him downstairs where Rebecca was reading at the table.

"Cookies are ready." She said when she heard you two, smiling softly.

"Thank you, darling." Price said sleepily, going to the stove and taking up a cookie.

You hummed excitedly and also went for one. "Gooey." You said between bites, "I like them."

"I'm glad I could make them for you two."

She was like Price to you, a strong rock, and a warm embrace. She was like a mother, and that made you happy as much as it did her. She'd give anything to be a mother, and she wasn't picky of who it was she got to cherish.

(I know there's a lot of her character we've digested over a long time, this was the best I could come up with. I'm on a time crunch but take this. 🙂)

[smoozie]

Grian and Scar are both loyal to an extent. They don't let their loyalty consume them nor overstay it's welcome. But they have different ideas of when loyalty ends

Grian is not a traitor. It's odd to see him depicted as one when the only precedent in canon is his rendezvous with Bigb. In 3rd Life, Grian explicitly declares his loyalty as to Scar and Scar alone. His alliances with others are tenous. He goes all in one and lets other arrangements fall to the wayside. He wasn't ever loyal to them though, they were a means to an end.

Scar has a bad case of "friend to all is a friend to none" which we will see again and again. Scar is by no means a friend to all in 3rd Life, but he still puts his brief friendship with Bdubs above his weeks long dedication to Grian. And this choice is so interesting because he clearly betrays Grian because he is on yellow not red. (I mean yes the no kill pass, but that likely would have never come into play had Grian been red). However, he expects Grian's anger when he returns. Or it seems that way because he immediately surrenders himself. So what was the point? He gets Grian down to red, only to kill Bdubs and hand him the victory. Not to mention he waits for Grian to return before he moves against Bdubs. His loyalty to Grian most definitely surpasses his brief alliances in 3rd Life (he literally tells Grian he can kill him for "keeping [him] alive this long"). But Scar is not so loyal as to consider himself above killing an ally. Scar plays a very dangerous game of balance with his alliances, he wants everyone to be allied with him despite the improbability of such an arrangement.

In last life, people seem to have a different interpretation of Grian's actions (particularly pertaining to his loyalty), than I do. I don't think Grian is betraying anyone when he kills Jimmy and Mumbo. Last Life requires all non-red alliances be severed once a party reaches red. Grian takes this very seriously, only "faltering" once when he tries to preserve his allyship with Mumbo. But even then he's trying to kill him, so I'd hardly count it. Grian removes himself from the southlands when he goes red, and on red he remains loyal to Joel. He rejoins the southlands when he returns to yellow and is back again to Joel when they're both reds. He is consistent in his loyalty and as I've said, doesn't let loyalty overstay its welcome. He knows when to let go, and he does so.

Keeping in mind I haven't watched Scar's Last Life in a hot minute, this is from memory and a recent rewatch of Joel's. Scar makes an unfortunate alliance with Joel at the beginning of the season, unfortunate because of the fleeting nature of their alliance. Scar proves again he is more than willing to set loyalty aside to do what needs to be done when he attempts to murder Joel as the boogeyman. Upon finding out Joel is also a boogeyman, he instead later tries to help Joel as he embarrassingly fails to kill anyone over and over. Even avenging Joel by killing Mumbo for his boogey-kill. When Joel is on red continously placing traps around their mountain for Scar, Scar chooses to take little offense to it. He knows he would have done the same. Scar does what needs to be done. He is a survivor first and foremost

Double life is interesting because it shows a break in Grian's loyalty habits. He doesn't stay loyal to a faction he declares at the beginning nor does his loyalty follow the games rules. Grian "cheating" on Scar feels out of character. It almost seems like an act of revenge for Scar's betrayal in 3rd Life. An overdue comeuppance. Which is a fun interpretation I like. You could also see it as an act of defiance against the watchers, to say "no I am not playing by ur rules anymore. You cannot choose my allies for me". Whatever floats ur boat. I get people who downplay the "affair" as not the serious because they just call each other secret soulmates and send presents, but I think that interpretation misses the most important part: how it is presented to us. Grian and Scar both portray the secret soulmate bit as akin to cheating, so it makes the most sense the audience interprets it as such.

Double Life Scar is often misinterpreted to be happier with Grian than he actually is. In the beginning, Scar doesn't care to find his soulmate. He doesn't even realize it's Grian until the end of the episode. First thing Scar does the next episode, is try to introduce Grian to his Jellie-pandas. Which are immediately rejected by Grian. Scar then decides he will torture Grian with pain as payback, which he also teaches to Pearl. (A really great parallel imo because had Scar been tied to Scott I think he would have also been rejected). Interestingly, both Grian and Scar understand loyalty as a necessity to survival, especially in this particular game, as such they stay together despite BOTH being displeased with each other.

Grian stays firm with the bad boys until their early deaths. Despite his button pressing habits and that one fight they had over falling off ladders, he doesn't betray them. But he doesn't let grief consume him. That's the way of the game. His allies die, he needs safety. He moves on. And he once again proves his secondary allies (not nosey neighbors as they are now his primaries) mean little to him when he kills Scar. Again. And calls it the ultimate betrayal Grian when I fucking catch you

The clockers actually seem to be the perfect alliance for Scar. Bdubs who he can betray a million times over and always be forgiven, and Cleo who has still not forgiven Bigb for his choice to kill her two seasons ago. Scar has no reason to betray these two and never does, but he does believe Bdubs will betray them.

Grian in Secret Life is interesting because it is the first time we see him struggle to get an alliance. He kinda just shows up on Cletho's doorstep one day and asks to be let inside. Scott implies he lacks loyalty because of his quick departure from the bad boys last season, but I have emphasized I disagree with this interpretation of Grian. Grian remains loyal all season. When he dies he doesn't know both Cleo and Etho were taken out just moments before him, and celebrates the amount of damage his final stand caused Gem and the Scotts. He will sacrifice himself for loyalty.

Secret Life is by far the most telling for Scar's stance on loyalty. He goes where the wind takes him. He tries to blend in for as long as he can and hopes no one notices he shouldn't be there. He only chooses the mounders over Gem and the Scotts because he is currently standing with them when the question needs answered. Friend to all friend to none. He could have easily picked either side. He refuses to take Pearl's offer for hearts, tho this is most definitely out of respect. He wants a fair fight with Pearl, and he gets it. He very quickly turns his blade on Pearl after Gem is gone. Because he was never too tied to one.

So uh tl;dr: Grian and Scar are quick to kill loyalties when necessary, but Scar will always prioritize his survival over being loyal

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

I'm in severe pain cause of endometriosis right now, can we get more loganxwadexdisabled!reader :3

"Out fucking cold," Wade declared.

Logan grunted, nodding wordlessly. He knew that. He could hear the change in your breathing once the medication kicked in. And again when sleep finally won out.

"You okay, Peanut?"

"Sure. Just glad she's not fucking screaming anymore."

"Pretty sure the screaming was mostly frustration," Wade hummed. "I had days like that where I just wanted to scream because it fucking hurt and there was nothing I could do about it."

In the dark of the bedroom Logan readjusted to be able to see both of you. Wade had a hand in your hair still, watching you with an expression that was hard to read. "And she can't even remember not hurting like that- I don't think."

Logan put his hand on top of Wade's and Wade smiled wryly, "If she could fight we'd be fucked."

"Probably," Logan snorted.

"Looks like you get to be all big and bad and tell her boss she's staying home tomorrow-"

"Good luck with that."

Wade grinned, "I had to double her fucking dose. Tomorrow morning she won't even know what day of the week it is. We could tell her it's Saturday and she'd probably buy it as long as I make pancakes and no on turns on the news."

Logan huffed a laugh and laid his hand on your back when you stirred in your sleep, making a soft little whimper that made him wince. "She's gonna be pissed."

"But she'll feel better," Wade said confidently. "Naps, kisses, and having hunky guys at her beck and call? If that doesn't fix some shit I don't know what will."

"Not a goddamn nurse-"

"Me either, Logi-bear," Wade reminded, "But-" He looked down at your sleeping form meaningfully. "Who else is gonna do it?"

A soft growl was the only answer but, he knew that it was true. You needed rest. Bad pain days were exhausting. They'd both seen you come home looking dazed and drained- like it took all your mental energy just to deal with it. But it had never been LIKE THIS. You'd learned to manage.

But this scared him. Scared them both.

_______________

In the morning, when you did wake up, Logan peered around the bathroom door and watched you carefully.

You sat up slowly and had to get your bearings. Eyes are half-open and still red. And his chest hurt. He wondered how many mornings you'd had to do this alone.

"How do you feel?" he asked, wiping shaving cream off his face and coming over.

"Like I got hit by a truck," you rasp.

"How's the pain?"

"It's there," you tell him, starting to get out of bed. You have to move. Your head feels like it's full of cotton. Your mouth feels like you were licking bowling alley carpet. And You're starving. "But I gotta get ready and-"

"We called you in," Logan said.

"But I gotta work and I need to get my stuff done today so I can-"

"Your boss was more than willing to give you a day off," Logan said, waiting to catch you if you wavered as you tested your feet on the floor. "You over did it, yesterday, huh?"

"I was fucking mad. It's just so fucking stupid. Every fucking year-"

"Hey," he stopped you and tilted your chin up. Bending down to kiss you gently. "don't hurt yourself just to prove something."

"Pot-"

"It's different," he grumbled.

"It's really not. I just don't heal." You take a deep breath and haul yourself to your feet with a groan. He watched you go, making your way to the shower and frowned. But he let you go, keeping an ear out in case you needed help as he went out to find Wade.

"Mornin' Peanut," he said, "How's our patient?"

"Getting a shower," he said frowning as he poured a cup of coffee.

"Someone's been dick slapped with some reality this morning," Wade said kissing his head, " 'S'matter, Logi-bear? Did our girlfriend just remind you-"

"Shut up," Logan growled. It was different. No one expected you to do all that shit. Sure you COULD. You weren't helpless. Or as fragile as he thought when he first met you. But- it was different.

"That's a yes," Wade hummed, kissing his head.

He growled and Wade huffed a laugh; both of them paused for a moment when there was a clatter from the bathroom and Logan half shrugged, "Shampoo bottle."

Wade nodded and carried on, putting food on the table; fussing with details. Making sure that there were pancakes with hearts on them for you and grumpy faces for Logan.

You come out in fresh pajamas and Wade bounds over, tilting your chin up and kissing your face, "She lives!" he declared. "And she looks like heaven."

"I feel like death warmed over."

"Well you'll feel better with pancakes," he said, "and hot chocolate."

"I'm gonna go into a sugar coma," you tell him, pulling him down to kiss him.

"You can't be in a coma," Wade said, "we're educating Logan on pop culture today. And you have a full day of pampering ahead of you-"

"Wade I'll be okay I just need-'

"Ah-ah-ah," he said, guiding you to the table. "This is for us," he explained. "We're traumatized. And now you just gotta let us get it out of our system. And I prefer to do it by making sure you're spoiled. Logan would probably fight your spine if he could figure out a way to do it."

[jamethinks]

One thing I find very ironic about Spyxfamily is the way the Desmonds are portrayed. I understand that according to the narrative, they (namely Donovan) are the antagonists of the story, but I do find it quite tepid that so many character analysis is bonded by this very dichotomy style approach to understanding the characters (if that makes any sense).

I'm having a hard time approaching my point so bare with me if it starts to get confusing or disjointed.

I always see people talking about how the Forgers (aka the fake family) are able to have a happy relationship and a genuine bond while the Desmonds (aka the real family) are distant and uncaring of one another. There's a lot of emphasis on the parallels between Damian and Anya and how the presence of their fathers impact their lives. Most of the discussion is centered around shaming Donovan for not being more involved in Damian's life but not a lot of people are acknowledging why.

The whole reason for the fake family as part of Twilight's mission is because Donovan is a closed off skeptic who avoids unnecessary social interaction. This mission is supposedly the easiest way to get to him. As the story goes on, we gain a better understanding of just how shut off Donovan is and how much he actually isolated himself, even from his own family.

But the thing is, his actions are justified. The mere existence of Operation Strix validates his fears and anxieties. The fact that Twilight a spy is trying to expoilt the relationship he has with his children in order to get closer to him is the very reason he avoids them so much. It's people like Twilight that make him such a skeptical person.

Again, people praise Twilight for being a good dad, except he isn't really a good dad. It's all a facade. He's so dedicated to his goal as a spy for the West that he's willing to fake an entire family just to find out what Donovan is planning. Everything Donovan hates and resents is embodied in Twilight.

In the end, Twilight is just as harmful to Anya as Donovan is to Damian. He grabbed a random child from an orphanage and is using her for his own personal gain with limited regard for her well-being. We are not even sure what he plans on doing with her when the mission is over. Anya is obviously able to manipulate the situation to her own advantage, but that's only because she's a telepath. Any other kid would just be playing along, assume they just got themselves a new family overnight. We do see him grow and deepen his bond with Anya, in some cases threatening the mission for her benefit, but that was never a guarantee.

In a very frustrating way, Twilight is also contributing to Damian's strained relationship with his father and family. While Donovan obviously doesn't know what Twilight is doing, he's still aware that there are people out there who might. So, he continues to be guarded and make unreasonable demands of his children. He makes Damian feel he has to earn his place in his father's life because people like Twilight push Donovan to limit the number of people that are allowed in his life. I'm not saying it's Twilight specifically who's at fault, but people like him who are very much trying to force their way into his circle.

And I'm not saying of this yo defend Donovan or put down Twilight but I would like for less black and white thinking when talking about a Manga that hinges itself on nuance and the complexity of post war society. I find it a bit tired to keep categorizing characters as good or bad because it really hinders any conversation about them.

Idk I just feel there's a lot of moral ambiguity in sxf that really is intended to make us question our own moral code so it's weird seeing people ignore the actual harm Twilight and Yor cause just to reinforce their own limited moral values.

I don't think this makes much sense honestly.

[accio-sriracha]

The Time Remus Lupin Got Drunk.

A Wolfstar Oneshot.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

The Marauders were going to a party. Usually the way things go down is quite simple:

Sirius gets drunk first, the lightweight of the group who always drinks too much too fast and literally will not shut up for the rest of the night.

Next is Peter, who doesn't drink nearly as much as Sirius, but isn't very good at holding his liquor if we're being honest. He'll spend most of the party on the floor playing chess or in the bathroom throwing up. No in between.

James stumbles after him in third place, definitely not a lightweight but somehow always slamming down enough shots of firewhiskey to do the job. He spends a good percentage of his time trying to get Lily Evans' attention.

(Somehow even drunk he's still a perfect gentlemen and knows his boundaries. *cough, cough* it's not that hard *cough, cough*)

Remus has never gotten drunk in his life, except for once at the beginning of seventh year, but we don't talk about that.

He will spend the majority of the party babysitting his friends: bringing Peter water and crackers, telling Sirius that no, it's not a good idea to visit McGonagall right now, and asking James to please find his shirt, she's not any more impressed by his abs now than she was six years ago.

Today, however, was going to be different.

You see, the Marauders had a plan, a plan like none they'd ever come up with before.

Today: Sirius, Peter, and James were not going to get drunk.

Remus was.

Most of the reason Remus never got drunk in the past was simply because it was a hard feat to accomplish. Partly because Remus had a pretty high tolerance for alcohol, and partly because of the whole werewolf thing.

He would have to drink a lot of firewhiskey to get to the point of slurring his speech.

And the second reason was Remus' refusal of being unaware of his surroundings in public. He felt too vulnerable, it didn't feel safe.

He made a joke on the way to the party they were going to tonight that he would only agree to get drunk if the others agreed to stay sober.

Obviously he hadn't been expecting them to actually agree.

But for whatever reason, his friends were far too eager to see him drunk.

So in they went, mixing into the crowd awkwardly, with Remus huddled between them all like a very tall child.

"Here." James filled a red cup with firewhiskey and passed it to him, "We should get started early, this will probably take a while."

Remus let out a resigned breath and accepted the cup from him, downing the liquid in one go. He cringed at the taste,

"I don't know why people insist on doing this. I don't see how this is pleasant at all."

Sirius shrugged, "It's fun? Takes your mind off things for a little while."

"Obviously not the case for somebody." Peter snickered, nodding his head towards James, "All he can ever think about is Evans, drunk or not."

"Hey!" James called, picking up a cup and pretending to toss it at him. Peter squeaked and jerked out of the way.

Remus snagged the cup away from him, "And you expect me to trust you lot to take care of me?"

James rolled his eyes, "Obviously we'll take this seriously, Moony."

Sirius nodded, "Especially me." He agreed solemnly. James scowled at him and turned back to Remus with an earnest expression,

"If you don't want to, we really won't force you, Moons. I know you don't like feeling vulnerable. Everything is your decision here."

Remus sighed, "It's alright, one night won't kill anyone... hopefully."

And you know... the whole werewolf thing.

If he was being honest, of course he trusted them to take care of him. They'd been doing it every month since third year.

The only issue was his filter, or rather, his lack of one.

After his second cup Sirius grabbed his free hand and dragged him over to the center of the room, "Drunk enough to dance yet?" He asked, raising his voice over the music.

"There isn't enough alcohol in the world." Remus called back.

"You don't know that. Drink up." James cheered, a cup held out to Remus.

Merlin he was going to be drinking a lot of alcohol tonight.

He turned back to face Sirius,

"So this really doesn't bother you? All the noise and the people?" He asked. Sirius shook his head,

"Not normally. I always have you guys with me, and sometimes it helps being surrounded by all this. I'd rather be too busy to think than sitting alone in silence, y'know?"

Remus nodded, he knew Sirius hated silence more than anything.

James switched out his cup again, "Alright, Moons, another round down."

"What is this, four in five minutes? You trying to kill me, Prongs?" Remus muttered, drinking it anyways.

"Mate... That's fucking terrifying." Sirius replied.

James laughed, "I have much subtler ways of doing that, Moony, don't you worry."

"Is this gonna be a long night or what?" Peter said. They all nodded in agreement.

"Hey, why don't we speed this up a little?" James asked, tapping the wand in his pocket. Remus' eyes shot wide open,

"No. Absolutely not. Do you remember what happened to Sirius last time you used that spell?"

James waved a hand, "Oh, that was nothing. He's always like that."

"He bawled his eyes out and tried to kiss a suit of armor." Peter raised an eyebrow, "Even drunk he's got a bit more dignity than that."

"Yeah but he's also like horrible at drinking. Maybe it'll work better with Moony since he's got a better tolerance."

"Hey!" Sirius pouted, "I can drink just fine, thank you."

James snorted, "Whatever you say, mate."

Remus ignored them,

"I don't know, Prongs. I'm not really sure. It's a little... experimental, don't you think?"

"What about us isn't experimental?" James countered, "You know how many charms laws we broke making that fucking map?"

Peter shook his head, "No, c'mon man. Don't make Moony your test dummy. It's his second time drinking. We'll try it out some other time."

James shrugged and waited for him to drink before giving him a new one, "Your loss. Now you're stuck filling your cup all night."

Remus downed it again, looking bored, "You know what, you're right. I'll be over at the drink table. I should probably stick closer to the source, yeah? Let me know if you need anything." He told them, walking awkwardly through the crowd.

"Hey Alice." Remus smiled, when he finally reached the table, resigned to drink until he began to feel the 'buzz' the others kept referring to, "How's everything going?"

"Not bad, you?"

He shrugged, filling his cup, "I suppose I could be worse."

"Are you... drinking?" She asked incredulously, "I've never seen you drink before."

He sighed, "Yeah, and you probably won't ever see it again."

"Someone feeling a little dangerous today?" She teased. He tipped back his cup, wrinkling his nose at the heat that settled uncomfortably in his chest,

"Hopefully not."

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, watching the people around them.

"Where's Lily? Did she come?" He asked, Alice nodded,

"I don't actually know where she and Regulus went, but I know I saw them earlier."

"Wait, Regulus and Lily?" He questioned, "I didn't know they hung out."

She gave him a vague shrug,

"Yeah, none of us really know him that well, just you guys and Sirius. But he and Lily have this thing where they always sit next to each other at parties, they try to keep each other in check. Nerd stuff, I guess."

"Huh..." Remus took one last drink before standing up from his seat, "I've gotta go, thanks for the chat."

She nodded, "Yeah, see you around."

While Remus was busy being a wallflower, James and Sirius made their way to the other side of the room. Sirius grabbed Regulus' attention and waved him over,

"Hey, Reg. Bigger turn out than usual, right?" He asked. Regulus nodded,

"Yeah, there's hardly anywhere to sit anymore." He looked around for a second, "Your friend throw up yet?"

Sirius laughed, "No, Pete's fine. We're actually staying sober today."

Regulus rose an eyebrow at them both, "I find that very hard to believe."

"Hey, Regulus." James smiled.

"Potter." He nodded curtly.

James pouted, "Don't I get a warmer greeting? We've known each other for years now."

"Maybe you will in a few more years." He replied smoothly, taking another leisurely sip, "How's the courting coming along? Sing any songs to her yet?"

James looked confused, "Who?"

"You know, the love of your life."

His face went a deep shade of red, "What?"

"Evans?" Regulus was amused now, "Salazar, Potter. Seriously, how much have you had?"

"None." Sirius frowned, turning to face him, "What's up with you, mate?"

James only shook his head, "I've gotta go."

The pair watched him dissappear quickly into the crowd.

"The hell was that about?" Regulus asked.

"I've got no clue." Sirius rubbed his forehead, "But it's definitely weird."

"Pete." Remus sighed when he found him, tapping his arm to get his attention, "Come here, I have to ask you about something."

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Remus was weaving his way through people again, trying to keep his drink from spilling as he was bumped around.

They walked to the far corner of the common room. Peter looked concerned,

"Are you alright?"

"It's about Prongs." He started, keeping his voice low so the music would drown them out.

"Prongs?" He repeated, "What's wrong, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, he's fine. It's just-" He glanced around to make sure nobody was listening, "Do you ever think he acts a bit... strange at parties?"

Peter snorted, "You mean when he's drunk? Yeah, I'd say he's a little different than normal."

"No, I mean like- we've seen him drunk before, right? He isn't usually so over the top when it's just the four of us."

Peter nodded slowly, "Right."

"But when he's here, he gets all weird."

"Well yeah, because he's trying to impress Evans."

"But isn't it strange that he stopped hitting on her around the castle years ago but still hits on her when he's at parties?"

"Alcohol destroys your filter, man. Maybe he's just really good at pretending to not care."

"Or it's something else."

Peter watched him for a moment, a sudden suspicion in his eyes, "Are you drunk?"

"What? No, Peter, listen-"

"Hey, what's all the whispering about?" Sirius asked, walking up with James and Regulus on either side of him. James' face was red.

"I think Moons is getting a little tipsy." Peter laughed. Remus rolled his eyes,

"Shut up, Wormtail."

"Seems perfectly normal to me." Regulus joked, "Sarcastic as always."

"Remus isn't sarcastic when he's drunk." Sirius offered, "When I saw him he was-"

Remus shot him a look and Sirius stopped talking immediately.

"You never did tell us what happened." Peter said, glancing between them.

"And we won't." Remus cut in before Sirius had the chance, "That's between Lily, Sirius, and I."

"Wait Evans was there too? I thought it was just you and Padfoot when you got drunk?" James asked. Sirius' eyes widened,

"Maybe it's best if we drop the subject, yeah?" He gave Remus a pointed look.

"Why won't you say what happened?" Regulus asked, curious himself now as he looked to his brother.

Remus swallowed hard, clearly uncomfortable. Sirius cleared his throat,

"Finish your drink, I want to dance."

"So commanding." Remus grumbled, even as he lifted it to his lips without hesitation.

Sirius stepped up close and placed a finger underneath the cup, meeting Remus' eyes as he tipped it back.

Remus was... well let's just say he was a little more awake now than he was a moment ago, his entire body humming with electricity at the look in Sirius' eyes.

He finished the drink, throwing the cup onto the floor,

"Fine." He took Sirius' arm and dragged him back into the crowd of people.

"What the fuck just happened?" Peter laughed. James shrugged,

"It's them, when do we ever know what's going on?"

Sirius stopped when they reached the center. Remus rose an eyebrow,

"So...?" He started.

"Yeah." Sirius laughed softly. He wrapped his arms around Remus' neck, like you would if you were slow dancing. The song was the exact opposite tempo, but neither of them really cared enough to notice.

"I'm not upset about what happened that night." Remus told him as his hands wound around Sirius' waist, "I know I made a big thing about it, but I don't blame you."

Sirius' head was shaking before Remus even finished his sentence, "It was your first time drinking, Moons. I should have been more aware of what was going on."

"I told you I'm not upset." Remus protested.

"I know, I just don't believe you."

"Would you like me to get Lily? She'll be glad to tell you every thought I shared with her about it."

Sirius cringed, "Merlin, no thanks. I'd honestly rather die than rehash that with Evans again."

"It wasn't that terrible."

"Says you! You didn't do what I did!" He laughed.

"Well nobody forced you to do what you did either!"

"It was kind of implied." Sirius gave him a sly smile.

Remus scoffed, "Okay, first of all-"

"No, no, no! You cannot deny that. You would never have done it." He cut him off.

Remus sighed, "Fine... Maybe you're right."

"Maybe?" He raised an eyebrow. Remus laughed,

"Okay, you're absolutely right. I would never have done that. You have my gratitude for taking one for the team."

Suddenly he was smiling again, "It wasn't that terrible." He mimicked.

"You want me to tell her you said that?" Remus asked, pretending to pull away to go find her.

"Don't you dare!" Sirius laughed as he jerked him back into the embrace, making them press fully against each other on accident.

"Oh." Remus whispered. Sirius took in a sharp breath,

"Oh." He repeated.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Over by the drinks table James, Peter, and Regulus were still talking.

Peter was stuck between watching Sirius and Remus, and watching Regulus and James.

He couldn't deny it now, James was weird at parties. Even though he wasn't drunk like he normally was, Peter could still hear that tone in his voice, see the look in his eyes that meant he was totally and completely whipped.

Only... Lily Evans wasn't anywhere around.

He glanced back at Remus and Sirius to find something had shifted dramatically in the few seconds he'd looked away.

They stood, holding each other tightly, staring into each other's eyes. Peter could feel the tension from across the room. He felt his own eyes widen quickly looked away to give them privacy, accidentally staring at Lily Evans instead.

"Hey, I'll be right back." He told James and Regulus, who were currently in a heated argument about the best quidditch play from the world cup this year.

Neither of them replied so he just walked away, coming up to sit down beside her.

"Hey, Wormy." She smiled. He smiled back,

"Hey, Evans. This is a great party."

She chuckled, "Yeah, it's interesting to see you actually a part of it."

"Hey, my chess games were top notch." He laughed. She bumped their shoulders together,

"And so were your bathroom hogging skills."

"Touché."

She glanced towards Sirius and Remus,

"Do you see them?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah, I was watching them earlier. It's a good thing, right?"

"Yeah. They deserve to be happy."

"You think they'll make each other happy?" He asked, a little hopeful.

She nodded, her voice was certain, "I do."

"What ever happened between the three of you? Remus refuses to tell anyone, all we know is that it was the only time he ever got drunk."

She snorted, "Merlin, that is really not my story to tell." She smiled at him, "But I can assure you that I know they'll make each other happy."

"You had sex with one of them, didn't you?" He asked. He could see it in the blush that formed on her cheeks.

She looked away but didn't deny it.

"Well, shit. That's one hell of a first drunken experience." Peter muttered.

"I think it was a lot more than just one first experience." She nodded towards the pair again, "If you know what I mean."

"No way." He gasped, "Did they..."

She held her hands up, "I don't know anything, alright? According to this conversation I was too drunk to remember that night."

Peter blew out a long breath, "Noted."

Lily sipped on her drink leisurely, just like Regulus always does. This reminded him of something he noticed earlier,

"So, do you and Regulus know each other well? I saw you guys together when we first got here."

"Oh, kind of. We only hang out at parties. We're like each other's safety net in a way, we make sure nothing goes wrong and that neither of us gets too messed up."

"I don't know, a few years ago probably. It's been a while." She shrugged.

"When did that start?" He tried to make the question casual. Something about the way she said it reminded him of what Remus had said earlier. 'Or maybe it's something else'.

"So you guys always sit next to each other?"

"Mhmm." She glanced around, a slight frown on her lips, "Except today apparently. He went of with Sirius and he hasn't come back yet."

Peter nodded, letting it finally sink in.

Everything James did when he was drunk was always in her direction, the singing, the confessions, the love-sick puppy dog eyes.

But it wasn't ever at her, was it?

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

"Can I ask you something?" He spoke quietly. Regulus eyed his hand but didn't shake him off,

The others had gone off to their separate conversations, leaving James and Regulus alone. James hadn't even noticed Peter leave.

Regulus had ended up winning their quidditch argument, pulling out a trump card James hadn't thought to bring up. He was impressed, his smile wide and genuine. He liked that Regulus wasn't just as passionate as he was.

They stayed quiet for a little bit, Regulus sipped on his drink and James tried to look at anything else, not wanting to get caught staring.

Eventually he couldn't take it anymore.

James turned completely to face Regulus, touching his shoulder to get his attention,

"Shoot."

"Everyone always tells me that my... 'courting' is over the top when I'm drunk. Is it really that bad?"

Regulus' lips twitched up in a smile, "It's not terrible. Some people find it endearing."

There was something different in James' expression when he asked, "Would you happen to be one of those people?"

Regulus watched him for another long moment before he answered, "I guess you could say that."

James nodded and looked away. He never moved his hand, Regulus didn't either.

"Do I ever say a name?" He cleared his throat, "Like when I'm... I don't know, people say I confess things. Do I ever say who I'm talking to?"

Regulus thought back to everything he remembered about Potter's attempts at flirting,

"I'm not sure... No, I don't think so. You did get the color of her eyes wrong one time, Lily laughed about it for like a week. It's hard to forget that they're green. But then again, you were really drunk so nobody blames you."

"What color did I say?" James asked quietly. Regulus looked at him then, the intensity in James' voice throwing him for a loop,

"You said gray."

There was a long pause before James looked up at him too. His eyes searching Regulus' own, like he was memorizing them.

"I meant it."

Regulus was confused for a moment, then he realised that was his eye color. James must have been talking about his eyes.

He froze, but then...

Oh.

Oh.

"Potter?" Regulus suddenly couldn't remember how to speak. James swallowed hard,

"Yeah?"

"It was... Lily you were speaking to all those times... right?"

James shook his head slowly.

"Who was it?" Regulus' question was a whisper.

James finally moved his hand, though instead of dropping it, he lifted it up to hover over Regulus' cheek,

"Do you really need me to answer that?"

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

"Sirius, I-" Remus looked away, his head spinning slightly, "I think I might be a little drunk."

Sirius' fingers dug into his shoulders, "How drunk?" He murmured. Remus' eyes held something deeper in them when he replied,

"Not so much that I don't know what I want."

"What do you want, Moons?"

The question was never answered.

It took them mere seconds to make it to the stairs leading up to their dorm.

They shut the door behind them, laughing and clutching onto each other as they caught their breath.

"Can I admit something to you?" Remus whispered, his eyes bright with excitement, "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since that night."

Sirius nodded, "I know how you feel."

"I- I want you, Sirius." Remus turned to face him, holding his hands between his own, "More than that, I... I want to be with you."

"With me?" Sirius questioned. He refused to get his hopes up.

"I think I'm in love with you." Sirius blurted out. He wasn't exactly sure why. He wasn't even drunk. Remus didn't seem to mind, his small smile turned brilliant,

"With you." Remus repeated, "I want everything, Pads, I- I want a life with you. I always have."

And if Sirius had any ounce of self control, the dazed look in Remus' eyes and his small giddy smile was enough to shred it to pieces.

"I think I'm in love with you too." He whispered.

And those were the last words either of them spoke for the rest of the night.

Remus Lupin would always remember the only two times he'd ever gotten drunk. But not for the reasons you would expect.

[the-blossica-fan]

Blossica and A Nightmare At Green Lake

An analysis made by THE Blossica fan

Why do I love Blossica? Why is it so important for A Nightmare At Green Lake? Would the story be the same without it?

In this long rant I call "Analysis", I will tell you my thoughts, the reasons and MY opinion on this ship and its importance to the entire event.

It can not be yours, and I'll gladly listen to your thoughts and reasons, but here's why it is so important and the story wouldn't be the same without it.

It has been edited, there might be some more changes if I see any inconsistencies.

Let's start by what most people call this ship, Childhood friends to lovers. I've seen a lot of people call it that, and while it's not wrong, it's also not right.

The better term Is "Childhood crush", as Blonney (Jennifer) is Jessica's childhood crush.

Must take into account that Blonney never knew of Jessica's existence, the OG Jessica was Blonney's imaginary friend, Changeling/Jessica just happened to hear it and thought it was Blonney giving her a name.

Why childhood crush? Well, it's pretty easy to know that Jessica's infatuation that persisted through the years is far more than just friendship. From things like reviving all the stories she told, retelling them and even exhausting them for everyone else.

It's also not a secret that she has probably been looking for someone to replace Blonney's space in her heart, which is why no one has ever seen as interesting in her eyes.

In Vertin's words "What happened to those people that accepted to stay with you? When you ran out of available games, they were no longer adored by you. I can stay longer than them, but with no exceptions. I'll become boring one day." These words are a hint to something.

No one can replace Blonney's place in Jessica's heart.

And, what about Blonney?

Blonney is definitely a lesbian, but this is no headcanon, in fact, I'd argue this is definitely canon. From design hints like those hair clips (this is Bluepoch, they pay heavy detail to their models, this is definitely not a coincidence), to even more hidden hints in her stories.

Since a child, Blonney has been writing in her diary stories, but you know what's interesting? Blonney describes the women as beautiful, like in the story about the dead bride.

A bride that looks for other happy brides? Mmm, doesn't it sound weird?

Blonney also describes Anne/Anna in extra detail, as if she had some sort of fixation with her. Let's remember that this description of characters is not only a script, but Blonney's own thoughts written on paper. When she criticizes herself, saying she'll pay for her doings one day, it feels crude and out of place because that is what she thinks about herself: That she'll pay for being a liar and mean (an arcanist and a lesbian)

The event itself also tells us enough for it to not be speculation, but absolutely straight up in your face.

Blonney's denial of her arcanist self (she punched Jason and yelled that she was not an arcanist, for those with internalized homophobia, this is a common reaction. Anger), the iconic couch scene and later on, her discussion with Jessica.

"How many times do I have to tell you how much I hate being called an arcanist", this is similar to a reaction I had before, denial and anger. In this case, and during the entire event, "arcanist" is used as an allegory.

For fuck's sake, Blonney was CUDDLING with Anne right BEFORE the iconic couch scene. Jessica/Anne is the one that made Blonney start to accept that side of herself, alongside with Tooth fairy's guidance; a professional lesbian.

"You seem to really like me. You would jump off a car to rescue me, you protect me, praise me. You would even be happy because I was happy." "Because I've never seen anyone as pretty as you are. You're special, you're different to the rest of us"

Oh God do you see that? This is flirting.

And while some might say Jessica doesn't know what romance and what liking romantically means, I'd argue otherwise.

Jessica does know what romance is

Let me tell you quickly. Jessica said in "The nightmare of green lake", she has met a couple of people who have different relationships with each other. She has even interacted with them, as in, she HAS talked to them. She has 6 people (excluding Michael, Jason and Freddy) in a cave, she knows some stuff.

When she says "I like you", she knows what she means. Her desperation to get Blonney to stay is not only because she doesn't want to be alone, but because she wants Blonney and ONLY Blonney to stay.

It's possible she's not sure she's in love, but she knows her feelings go far more deep than just a normal friendship. Plus, she has lived with Blonney's childhood stories, and those horror stories do have romance (The pathetic bride includes romance, Jessica is the one behind the pathetic bride, she knows). She's not oblivious nor stupid, she's just inexperienced. She knows she likes Blonney more than a common friend (based on how she treats others), and I think she would never like anyone that's not Blonney.

And what about their relationship?

People think they're master and pet, owner and pet, and I don't think they realize how deep that goes. Blonney is definitely in need of a person like Jessica, who fully supports her and her unique ideas. Jessica loves Blonney unconditionally, there's no reason to not think so. Their relationship is perfectly healthy, Jessica loves being adored and treated as a pet by Blonney, and Blonney is happy to see her happy.

That line of dialogue about a collar, despite how sexual it might be, is made out of innocence. They're not just master and pet, they're girlfriends and, don't we all have weird relationships with each other? They're happy, they're good for each other and are what the other needs.

So... What's their importance to the event? Are they really that important?

Yes.

The event wouldn't exist without that crush and romance. If Jessica didn't think romantically of Blonney, the event would be different, she wouldn't try hard enough to just keep Blonney and much less plan to get rid of everyone around Blonney so it's just the two of them.

If Blonney wasn't in denial of her homosexuality (and arcanum?), the event wouldn't be about accepting yourself as you are, it wouldn't be a story about coming out and the morals wouldn't be as impactful.

It would be a lackluster event.

Their relationship with each other is of heavy importance because it's that crush and denial that make up the entire story. The horror is just a side dish, the murderer and all of it, because this is not a horror story.

It's a love story

"I don't care whether my parents allow it or not!"

"I will quickly reveal this true look of mine, and everyone will look at me as if I've done something wrong"

Huh? Are we still talking about arcanists?

These lines are out of place for a 'friendship', or a discussion about staying or not. This is romantic, and especially in the homosexual way.

This true "look" of mine, doesn't it mean love? People do look at same-sex couples as if they've done something wrong, and while Jessica is talking about her changing abilities, we all knows this is about her crush on Blonney and how society would look at her wrongly.

Because, if she truly didn't know about her crush on Blonney which is the basic of all; everyone knows about crushes and romance, then how would she know people would look at her wrongly?

"I don't care whether my parents allow this or not"? Is a line said in ROMANCE. All romance stories with a 'secret romance' have this sort of line, whether straight or gay, this is a basic must-have in this sort of relationships.

She's not only talking about Jessica's changing abilities and arcanum, she's talking about her own blossoming love.

Especially when Jessica asks if Blonney liked her story, she's seeking approval and a hint Blonney will stay by her side, this is a confession. Which is why she gets so down when she gets a "yes, I like it very much". That's not a yes, it's a dismissal, a 'not so important' thing. This is a rejection of her feelings, even if on accident.

And, why does Vertin intervene? Why does she have the talk to Jessica about staying?

Because Vertin more than anyone knows what it's like to let go of a lover, she knows about not being able to confess in time and she knows that if she doesn't intervene, this will be like her and Schneider all over again. Regrets. She's being supportive, she's trying to do what she couldn't do. She's playing cupid.

A place where no one would judge Jessica for her looks, also known as the homosexual suitcase. We all know that no one in Reverse is straight, or at least, 99% aren't. We all know no one would bat an eye if a deer girl was kissing an 80's horror movie girl in the middle of the wilderness.

This is the perfect place for both, Blonney and Jessica, a place where they can be together while not being judged.

And what about Horropedia, Sonetto and Tooth Fairy? What part do they play in this Horror story?

Oh, they're very important as well. In fact, all of them are.

Horropedia, despite interrupting the girls RIGHT BEFORE KISSING, is the reason they're there. Without him, this would be a psychological horror story. And Blonney and him are the wlw and mlm hostility, they're so hating on each other but they do care. Sonetto has helped Blonney in silent ways, not only by helping her become more herself and supporting her fully, something she needed, but she's also an example of someone who's tied down. They've become good friends because they both used to be in similar situations mentally and emotionally.

But out of the two, Tooth Fairy is definitely the most important. She has gone through the same experiences as Blonney. Arcanist living in human society and a lesbian. She knows what Blonney is going through so she's helping, in her own way. She's the one who makes Blonney start to accept herself, to accept the fact that she is the only one Jessica wants and the one who understands her the most. Blonney softens because of both, Jessica and Tooth Fairy.

Tooth Fairy was the key to Blonney's acceptance, and it's because of her talk to Tooth Fairy that Blonney treats Anne better, that she's willing to share more of herself, that she's more physical. It's not a coincidence that after slowly accepting the fact she's an arcanist (lesbian) that she gets more flirty and physical with Anne/Jessica.

This entire event was a way to talk about coming out, and I've watched this event so many times I wrote this out of memory. It feels this way because it's INTENDED to be that way. It's real, it's crude. It's so direct because that's what it is.

A coming out story, a horror story

A love story

[howlsofbloodhounds]

I think the only headcanon I like and remember consistently is Killer having attachment issues in the way

When any relationship gets too real, he does his best to push the other one away. Actively doing things he knows the other one won't like so they'll leave him, because he doesn't deserve any kind of good-ish relationships. He thinks they'd do better in life without him. Uhh I think it's just a case of self-hatred, if I know my emotions right(which I don't)

Yes i agree. Although I think the reasons behind this isn’t as straight forward as it seems. Very important to keep in mind that Killer has a dissociative disorder—this will affect his attachments. Such as in his Stages.

For Stage 2, i genuinely think he is not interested in emotional connections, or at least is convinced he is. He views them as a threat to his independence and emotional detachment, and views himself as not capable of having them.

He prefers to live his fantasies out in his mind where it’s safer and less risk—where he has control. The second anything comes too real, and he starts filling engulfed, he will detach himself and start actively self sabotage to make them leave. This is to protect himself, and only himself.

There isn’t exactly a sense of “I don’t deserve this/you,” exactly. The most I can see this mindset cropping up is in his relationship with Color. For everyone else it’s more like, “I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone.” (Which is rich, considering his entire codependency shit with Nightmare. Silly little un-self aware bastard he is.

Although with Nightmare he doesn’t really have to worry about giving a shit about Nightmares emotions genuinely unless they impact him—he just does what he’s told or what he has to, and in return he gets purpose and direction.)

This is his schizoid and antisocial tendencies. Which i headcanon killer to have traits of in Stage 2. I think Stage 2 would have a dismissive avoidant attachment style.

In Stage 1, it’s much like you said—feeling undeserving—but also feeling deeply afraid of being engulfed, controlled, rejected, or abandoned or hurt again—although he deeply craves emotional connection and validation and safety.

For me, personally, Stage 1 is either anxious preoccupied attachment style, or fearful avoidant.

I’m not quite certain about how it’d manifest in Stages 3 and 4—mostly because killer doesn’t really attach much in these states. These two have bigger things to worry about than getting attached—and possibly don’t even conceive things like relationships.

Which, yeah, these are dissociative adaptations meant to keep killer alive or avoid suffering in ways that may be outdated to his current situation. Based on certain interpretations, Stage 3 is more likely to be entirely focused on the immediate moment and himself—nothing and no one else. Stage 4 is entirely unlikely to be focused on itself at all.

This would likely change and develop when Killer manages to form genuine connections and escape the dangerous abusive environment he is in— such as with Color, and then perhaps eventually with the rest of the Epic Sanses and the Chromatic Crew. And of course, the Stages are all still the same person— so there will be ripple effects.

[ewyuzu]

a fake relationship

nanami kento x reader

a/n: interested to read more? click here!

the school bell rings, echoing through the hallways as students spill out of classrooms, chatting, laughing, and groaning over the latest assignments. you're in no particular rush, meandering through the crowded corridor on your way to your locker. most of your friends have already left, probably heading to the café nearby or the library. but you? you have a different kind of problem to face—one that's been plaguing you all semester: math.

you open your locker with a sigh, tossing in a textbook and pulling out your crumpled math test results. a large, angry red 48/100 glares back at you from the paper, and you wince. it's the third failed math test this month. no matter how hard you try, no matter how many formulas you attempt to memorize, numbers just don't seem to click in your brain. you stuff the paper into your bag, muttering under your breath.

"great. just great."

you're not dumb—far from it. you're a pretty solid student in most subjects, but math? math is your achilles' heel. and you can already picture the conversation with your parents at dinner tonight. they've been on your case about your grades, and if they find out about another flunked exam, well... that's a disaster you're not ready to deal with.

as you slam your locker shut with more force than necessary, you catch a glimpse of nanami kento. he's standing at his locker not far from yours, his face set in that calm, unreadable expression he always wears. neat, composed, a little too perfect, really. you've never spoken more than a few words to him in class, but he's hard not to notice. he's the kind of guy who seems like he has everything figured out—top of the class, disciplined, never flustered by anything.

you're about to turn away when a shrill voice rings through the hallway.

"nanami-kun!"

a group of girls is lingering nearby, one of them stepping forward with a bright, flirtatious smile. "are you free after school? maybe we could study together?"

the girl's voice is sweet, her smile almost rehearsed, like she's done this a hundred times before. it's no secret that nanami is one of the most sought-after guys in school, and girls are always trying to get his attention.

you pause, pretending to fix your bag as you watch out of the corner of your eye, already knowing how this will go.

without even looking up from his locker, nanami replies, "i'm busy."

his voice is polite but detached, and the girl's smile falters. she quickly tries to recover. "oh, well... maybe another time?"

nanami doesn't respond, continuing to organize his books like she's not even there.

the girl fidgets awkwardly before giving up, walking back to her friends with a disappointed shrug. you can hear them whispering and giggling as they retreat down the hall. you almost feel bad for her—but at the same time, it's no surprise. nanami has this way of effortlessly deflecting attention, and yet, that only seems to make people more interested in him.

you snap out of your thoughts, turning to leave, but as you sling your bag over your shoulder, you feel a presence beside you.

"hey."

the deep, calm voice startles you, and you turn to find nanami kento standing right next to you. your heart skips a beat. you're not used to him being this close, let alone speaking to you directly.

"uh, hey?" you reply, trying not to sound as confused as you feel. why is nanami kento talking to you of all people?

he glances around briefly, then lowers his voice, his expression serious. "i need to ask you for a favour."

your eyebrows shoot up. a favour? from nanami? you're intrigued, to say the least. "what kind of favour?"

he hesitates for a moment, his eyes flicking back to the group of girls still lingering at the end of the hallway. then, with that same calm composure, he says, "i need you to pretend to be my girlfriend."

what?

for a second, you're sure you misheard him. "excuse me?"

"a fake relationship," he clarifies. "it'll be temporary."

you blink at him, completely thrown off. this was not the kind of favor you were expecting.

"okay..." you say slowly. "why would you need a fake girlfriend?"

nanami's eyes shift toward the group of girls again, the faintest hint of annoyance crossing his features. "lately, i've been getting a lot of unwanted attention," he explains, his voice low but steady. "it's distracting, and i don't have the time or interest to deal with it."

you take a second to process his words, your mind still trying to catch up. the most composed, serious guy in school needs a fake girlfriend to fend off admirers? it almost sounds ridiculous. but then again... you look at him—stoic, serious, perfectly put-together. you can see why people would constantly try to break down his walls.

"and you think this'll work?" you ask, crossing your arms skeptically.

nanami's expression doesn't change. "yes. people will lose interest once they see i'm already in a relationship."

you chew your lip, still unsure. "okay, but... why me?"

he turns his gaze to you, his eyes steady. "because you're not caught up in that drama. you're not the type to spread rumors, and you're not interested in unnecessary attention."

he has a point. you've always kept a low profile, and you don't really involve yourself in school gossip. but still...

"and what's in it for me?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.

nanami doesn't hesitate. "i'll help you with whatever you need—homework, projects. you need help with math, don't you?"

your stomach flips at the mention of math. of course, nanami would know that. he's in your class, after all, and you've failed more than enough tests for it to be common knowledge by now. but still, hearing it from him—someone who probably never struggles with any subject—stings a little.

"how do you know that?" you mutter, crossing your arms defensively.

nanami raises an eyebrow, unfazed. "i've seen your test results. you're not bad in other subjects, but math is holding you back."

you're about to snap something back, but you stop yourself. he's right. you've been struggling in math all semester, and it's been dragging your grades down. if you fail one more test, your parents will lose it.

"and you're offering to tutor me?" you ask, the skepticism still clear in your voice.

nanami nods. "in exchange for this arrangement."

the offer is tempting—really tempting. it's not like you have any better ideas for improving your math grades, and having nanami, the top student, help you? that could actually save your skin. but at the same time, agreeing to a fake relationship with him? it's crazy.

you glance at nanami again. his expression is calm, composed, but there's something else in his eyes—something genuine. he's not asking for this because he wants attention or drama. he just wants peace.

after a long pause, you sigh. "fine. i'll do it."

for the first time, nanami's expression softens just a little—a flicker of relief, maybe. "thank you."

you smirk, a little more at ease now. "but if you flunk me in math, this deal is off."

nanami chuckles lightly—something you've never heard from him before. "you won't."

as you walk down the hallway together, the weight of the deal you've just made starts to sink in. you're about to dive into something completely unexpected, and who knows how this will all play out?

but one thing's for sure: your school year just got a whole lot more interesting.

[starfall-dream]

Okok hi, I had more thoughts regarding this AU and a little headcanon I had about our poor little friend Withers... and also the Gods in this au- but mostly Withers. (Since I've been playing around with him for my own yan BG3 isekai thing)

I feel like this might be very different from what you have in mind for the worldbuilding (as I remember you mentioning how this isn't the game at some point but I might be thinking wrong), but I thought this was on my mind, and just in case this might inspire something, I thought about saying it. So don't feel pressured to reply to this. It's just me getting my thoughts out there because why not and I wanna hear your thoughts too!

With Withers I've been playing around with the idea that, since in BG3 he is the one who let's us play around with classes, stats, reviving long lost party members, stuff like that I thought it would be pretty neat if he actually knew of other timelines or had some sort of magic that had some sort of ability tied to it for Withers to know/look into the knowledge of things like stats, classes, and possibly the fact that reader is from a whole other realm/world. Possibly even knowing the meanings for when they talk strange. He definitely lets on for more than he shows in the early game at least.

So in my AU I sorta lean into that and have Withers and the reader character get really close as friends because, "at least someone has a sense of what is going on and can explain in a way that I can understand". Probably has to explain that they're a human fighter or a ranger (especially later on when characters like Wyll get way more protective, he might start trying to move them away from the front lines at some point. Even if he taught us swordfighting it's still 'too dangerous' for his darling out there so they gotta pick up being a ranger to even think about contributing to the combat)

That actually leads me to my second batch of thoughts! Reader's class. I know you said they were leaning towards a fighter class but as I said before I feel like soon enough archery or being a ranger might be more viable, or if they get the attention of a god they might just get cleric (not as plausible as ranger but one can assume). The thought of them playfully or jokingly making an oath and becoming a Paladin is also funny but just as impossible. Still, always fun to play around with, especially since clerics in general sometimes don't even get a say in becoming a cleric, poor reader might just suddenly become the cleric to someone like Sune who even covers more darker aspects of romance (as a god of romance)... at least from what I've read off her Forgotten Realms wiki page. For all we know, someone might just "you're my cleric now, we're getting soft tacos later" the poor reader and they'd have no say in it.

The possibilities could be endless!

Honestly I love withers, he's great.

In my head, reader technically doesn't have a class, they just fall into fighter since it would make the most sense in my head. I didn't even think about ranger though, even though that was the first class I played as. I feel like they would be a mixture of any class that doesn't use magic, since they really can't.

I think since withers has more of an understanding of things, reader and him and a nice relationship. I think reader just confides in him about a lot of things and he offers very wordy and lengthy advice. It's like a grandpa and grandchild relationship.

[alevolpe]

Quoting one of your posts

"The thing with Pluto is that I cannot make her care, as soon as there’s bias she’s completely broken to me. She has to be able to kill or save say Chibiusa as she’s willing to killor save the most vile person, without 0 hesitation or thought"

Does it mean that she doesn't feel anything towards Chibiusa unlike in canon, or are they still friends but if needed Pluto would set her attachment aside and kill her?

I think it’s up to interpretation! I tend to think as Pluto as an outside factor, but she does occasionally act like a normal caring human being. Now does she do it because she does deep down care about these people and misses human connection or does she do it just because that’s what she’s “supposed to do” according to her time line? You choose.

I think having these lines addressed but not totally resolved allows for broader character interpretations. Same for the girls, I see the Crystal shaping their destiny to have them all meet and care about each other and the princess, does that mean their relationship with each other is, on the most detached and objective definition, meaningless? I don’t personally think so, but I can see why in the most technical term that would be the case.