#this book is turning out to be a love letter to the beach and also just me processing my high school trauma

[storiesoflilies]

as we fall, time is broken

synopsis: from the sea you came to me, and to the sea you shall return, for you cannot hate the place you once called home. w.c: 6.3k.

pairing: vampire!toji fushiguro x vampire!f!reader

warnings: major character death, angst, toxic relationship, allusion to smut, blood consumption, language barrier, pirate vibes, religious themes. sfw but MDNI!

a/n: an extra special fic for the wonderful @bungalowbear this piece is also written as a tribute to ‘the odyssey’ by @lovenona <3

divider / ao3 / playlist / @ficsforgaza

she used to have it all once, and more.

and not so long ago, she even used to dream. maybe she still did sometimes, but it certainly never meant what it used to.

perhaps that is why she came back here all the time, to the place where it all began to try and relive it all again. to turn back time, attempt to break through a metaphysical barrier and maybe – just maybe – she could see him again.

it was a cathartic, toxic, addictive cycle.

this is what pain is. this is what love is.

the rain was coming down hard on the sand, little water angels falling down from heaven to try and comfort her.

(that was a place she could never go.

this was as close as she could get.)

she tipped her neck upwards to the blackness of the night, letting them pass through her like a blessing she could not accept. it was too late for her to be worrying about that now. life had already hurt her so, and she’d already paid her dues. still, she raised her arms above her head, imagining a halo of starlight and moonlight was there.

she was doomed to be here, you see, all alone and trying to make sense of how it all began. like the start of a book she had to keep re-reading over and over again to try and understand the past. she couldn’t give up now, no. no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t, not after all this time.

something was broken, she could feel it.

sighing, she flicked open the cover.

and the memories spilled out onto the weather worn pages again, incoherent inky letters slowly swirling into something legible.

this is the last time, she swore.

(even though,

that is what she said the last time.)

⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅

the sea was in her lungs, filling her with salt and death.

(no, not death.

that was already upon her.)

she was washed up on a beach, that much she knew. there was the smell of fresh seaweed and something fishy, and the waves were moving backwards and forwards in their dance. she stayed put, unable to move or do anything at all. the silver sky had its eyes on her, and it seemed to pity her.

no.

calling it silver made it beautiful, and it was not. it was like ashen skin kissed with coal dust, and she pitied it instead.

she tenderly rubbed the wet sand of the shore with her fingertips, feeling its somewhat smooth grainy texture run over her skin, and tried to loose herself in a tender fascination to escape how bone weary she felt. her throat burned ferociously, and her lips were cracked and sore from the salt grains embedded in every groove. she weakly looked up, and did not recognize where she was, or how she got here.

(there was a boat. the smell of oil and rum, and screams of bubbling blood.

she did know, she just did not want to remember.)

her back was to the sky. she could feel the heat of sun bearing down upon her with a vengeance she had never known it could possess. it kept her beaten and downed, unable to do anything at all as the waves rushed over her again and again. the sea was disgusted by her, she thought. and after spitting her out, it was trying with all its might to push her far away from it – a petulant child pushing away it’s dinner.

how very sad it all was.

she just wanted to lay there and dream.

the roaring and crashing of the waves was deafening. it hurt her ears and head more than the sun did, made her deaf to everything else around her.

a squelch on the sand, and hard boot pressed into the side of her cheek.

her salt crusted eyes cracked open.

it was a man.

(no, he wasn’t.

he was just like her.)

tall and built, his hair dark like smoke. she could tell he was strong, it poured from him like wine from an overflowing goblet. it was in his hands and in his eyes of emeralds and forests. there was a green fire in them that could burn her alive if he wanted it to. he looked down at her like she was scum, an ugly barnacle leaching off the bottom of his ship, and she wanted nothing more than to shrivel up into nothingness.

his mouth moved, saccharine words spilling out from between them like honey and lavender.

she thought he sounded like an angel.

but she couldn’t understand a thing.

a green flash of annoyance, and he repeated much more slowly what sounded like a question. the weight of his boot left her cheek, and she clicked her jaw painfully. he pursed his lips, and sighed in a way that let her clearly know she was already an inconvenience to him.

she wanted to cry.

(she could never,

there was no water left in her anymore.)

her voice tried to claw its way out of her dried throat, but nothing more than a pathetic, raspy wheeze came out. he raised a thick brow at her, and something sarcastic flew out of his mouth. what little interest he had in her was quickly waning.

she was to him like sand in an hourglass.

please don’t leave me here like this.

but he had already turned around. she saw the worn leather of his tanned boots walking further away from where she laid in her mausoleum of salt. she almost choked on the shoreline in fear, sputtering as a desperate strength seized her. her fists plunged into the wet sand as she pushed herself up ungracefully, falling almost immediately back in again.

she was a lamb learning to walk, and he was the wolf who had decided she wasn’t even worth his effort.

he stopped and turned, watching her stare up at him with a naive expression and sand plastered on her face.

clearly, he would not be helping her.

and so she got up sluggishly, stumbling through the sand dunes, her legs crisscrossing with every shaky step. every time she fell roughly straight on her chin, he did not budge an inch forward, did not seem to care at all.

and yet, he was still waiting for her.

her spent body was alight with renewed vigor, and the last few steps were easy, like her new body knew exactly what it was supposed to do now. she stood in front of him now, breathing in the scent of leather and his smoke.

was it disgust or pride that was making his lips curl?

his face was marble, beautiful and utterly unreadable. this was a man that did not want anybody breaking through into his soul. she couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if she slipped through a little crack.

(she was good at that.

after all, that was how she ended up like this.)

he roughly gripped her chin, calloused fingertips scratching her water wrinkled skin. his green eyes became slits that peered into her, trapping her in his spell. she gasped, a wet noisy thing, as she felt herself being pulled under into his depths. he was trying to dull her senses, to keep her dumb and overwhelm her in a dancing forest of kelp to drown her.

but the side of her that was logical and predatory knew that he was testing her. to see if she could resist him or not, to surmise if she could be of some use to him and his purposes after all.

but oh, this feeling.

she teetered dangerously on a knife edge between insanity and mortality, stuck in an infinite loop that was him and his green.

there was only this, them, here and now.

his gaze slid down and settled on her bare chest. she became hyper aware of her own nakedness. something ancient, a feminine violence, stirred her unfeeling heart. she slapped away his hand and bared her fangs of pearl at him.

it was a woeful display really.

she knew it, and he certainly did too.

still, something in it had made him smile.

he offered her his hand like salvation, his palm facing the heavens.

(the first woman from long ago screamed.

you will not survive this – him.)

but she was already dead, and he already seemed to know everything there was to know about her. she had already decided that she would follow him wherever he went.

she slid her palm into his.

⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅

his name was toji.

he’d pointed a finger at himself, slowly repeating the two syllables between his blood-stained lips until she understood what he meant.

toji.

she swiped her tongue over her teeth, licked her lips, and said it back to him tepidly, like crystal water trickling from a jug. his name was sugar dusted over her cupids bow, the most precious and sweet thing to her. she said his name like a prayer, and he seemed pleased by it.

toji was by far the most interesting creature she had ever encountered. a prince of mysteries, shrouded in royal mist and smoke.

(but he could never be king.

for there was already one, and he did not share.)

even though she had seen much and more of the world, nothing compared to him. not the great glaciers of the poles, for all their silent sorrow and imposing grandeur. not the swarming godly manta rays, nor the iridescent palaces of rainbow coral. not even the green flashes of death when the sun was just beginning to sleep or rise for the day.

and yet, toji had been there in glimpses within all the world’s greatness.

she had just been blind to him.

below the deck of toji’s ship, they lay there on the dusted-covered wooden floor in absolute silence, waiting out their penance. the sun was the vengeful michael, its rays of light a sword of justice, ready to bear down on them. if they dared to even show a sliver of skin during the day, then they would boil and blister and pop until they returned to the refuge of darkness.

toji’s ship was anchored a little way from shore, but far enough that ordinary creatures could not get to it without a boat. it had once belonged to fishermen, she knew because their smell still clung faintly to the wood; of grease and sweat and their catch. the oversized clothes toji had scrounged for her amongst the forgotten treasures on the ship still reeked of them too. the lingering sweet smell of lobster and crab shells still clung to the worn threads, even though they had been disused and covered in dust for perhaps decades.

her body could do things like that now.

it was easy to marvel at her extraordinary changes during those times of silence. how her skin was made of diamonds and moonstone, stronger than it had ever been before. no matter how hard she tried to pierce it, whether with her own nails or sharp bits of metal lying around the ship, nothing could even scratch it. but when she had attempted to use a splintered plank of wood, toji had grappled her before she could blink. the suddenness of it sent her into a hissing, flailing mess, but his overwhelming strength and stern glare in his eyes had stilled her, even frightened her.

she knew then to never try that again.

between the cracks in the boards, she could see far out into the distance. could make out where the world curled, where the sea kissed the land, and the humans that gathered mussels between the rocks. she could even tell how dirty and grimy their clothes were, how soaked they became as the waves crashed into them, and their reddening skin glistening beneath the sun.

her hearing had sharpened too, and she knew that if not for the deafening roar of the sea filling her ears like white noise, she would be able to hear things moving from miles away.

but her favorite thing?

that was to run.

for hours, she would race beneath the ship, from one end to the other, touching the stained wood with her finger tips as she pushed off each wall. toji would sometimes watch her with one eye cracked open, completely unamused. she would not stop running until her throat burned with thirst, fierce and hot. only then then would she would stop, collapsing in a heap on the bare floors, blankly staring up at the decking.

it was then that their silence was all consuming, unbearable.

she couldn’t help but think she had traded her tomb of salt for one of wood. sleep was but a memory of life now, an escape neither of them could indulge in anymore. there was nothing she could do but be consumed by thought and time. she was surprised by just how much she could feel. her veins ran with pure emotion, from the most euphoric joy, to merciless, crushing sadness in the space of a few minutes.

what was her purpose now?

immortality surely had to mean more than being a slave to blood magic.

she imagined what toji thought about. he, perhaps wisely, never moved an inch when he settled beneath the ship, arms crossed behind his thick head of hair. she wondered if he was just as painfully thirsty as she was, and was just able to perfectly hide it. what little movements he made were never careless, because toji was far too calculating for that and hated anything unnecessary.

she knew better than to antagonize him.

but the restless part of her was just so incredibly bored.

one day, she couldn’t help herself. she wanted to see just how close toji would let her get. she crept towards him on her hands and knees, knowing full well that he could hear her skin scraping against the wood.

still, he didn’t move.

she was beside him now, gazing down at his face. toji looked serene like this, perfectly still. like death, wonderful and mysterious, not at all what she thought it would be like. he was not unfeeling and cold, there was something beneath his marble stone. she knew that toji was older than her, much older. there was something beautifully ancient about him. the sort of grace that was as timeless as the giant blue whales that used to sing to her of the histories.

but toji was her home in a way the seas had never been.

she reached out into the space between them, wanting – yearning – to feel his skin beneath her fingertips.

when she finally felt the cold touch of his death, toji opened his eyes, bathing her in molten emerald. she melted under his gaze, letting out the tiniest, pathetic whimper. her palm cupped the apple of his cheek, and she worshipped his ichor and perfection. she traced the scar on his lip, memorizing it smoothness, then trailed it along his lips. she smiled widely, childishly, at how freely toji was allowing her to do this.

his green fire spread to her undead heart, and she wetted her lips, throat burning ardently, as her hand settled over his neck.

what would his blood taste like?

would it be cold and sweet? she imagined its ruby redness trickling from between her lips, and–

toji gripped her wrist, a warning blaze setting her aflame as he snarled and flashed his fangs at her.

she stilled, crippling shame filling her.

for a moment, the universe watched with bated breath as the two creatures stared each other down. she submitted to him instantly, dragging herself with haste to the other end of the ship, groping for apologetic words that toji would never understand.

eventually, he grunted dismissively. he slowly pulled himself upright, and nudged his head toward the exit. she turned and stared out through the cracks in the boards behind her.

it was finally night.

⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅

wherever they were in the world, it was the most unremarkable of places.

the humans here were stones hardened into the mould of this desolate place, with no hope of ever leaving. they all lived and died in their sad, grease-riddled town that made its living from the fish in the sea. she knew this because toji had taken her there one day to observe them all from a distance, when the storm clouds were heavy enough to shield them from the sun. their buildings were stained with guts and old blood, and the acrid smell of their oil lamps rose high into the air. the rhythmic sound of fish scales being scraped away was the beating heart of it all.

(she would have cried for them once,

but she did not belong to their world anymore.)

there was a port too, with sullen ships and even more sullen crew sailing them. pirates came and went with the wind, their unmarked sails pitifully flapping in the breeze. they stopped to indulge in whatever bars and brothels were there, always wiping their hands clean on their weather-stained pants when they were done, before hastily escaping back into the sea. perhaps they knew they would be doomed to remain here too if they stayed even a moment longer.

how toji ended up in a place like this, she did not know.

after swimming to shore from his ship, he would leave her on the beach. everytime she attempted to follow, toji would pin her down, shoving her arms deep into the sand and baring his alabaster fangs as a warning. she would pout her lips, petulantly crossing her arms like a child, and he would mumble what she knew were the blackest of curses before stalking off in the direction of the town.

she had no say in the matter.

all she could do was wait there for him to return, and such had been their routine for decades now.

even when her thirst was painful, she would still sprint along the beach, the adoring motherly moonlight kissing her skin. she would wade into the ocean and dive beneath the blackened waves, holding her breath between puffed out cheeks. the darting squid would watch her with their bulbous, intelligent eyes. they used to speak to her once, wrap their tentacles around her throat and tell her stories of creatures from the depths even she had dared not go to.

and now?

they spat their thick ink at her in disgust.

and then she would resurface, relishing in the loneliness of the world, and she would sing again.

to the ocean, and ode to its life and all its cruel misery.

she would sing to the moon, for its silver death and all its mystery.

(and to the king with red eyes.

for it was by his hand that the cards had dealt her a prince.)

her songs for toji came from someplace deep within her. something boundless like fire, or the mist hovering over the sea on the grayest of mornings. she would sing of how he curled over her skin like a storm rolling in from the distance. how he made her emotions rise and fall like the waves, and how she wanted to breath in the dust on his marble skin and keep him inside her forever.

her body would prickle with something unfamiliar.

she wanted to call it love.

but could creatures like them even feel such a thing?

they were predators, killers. they snuffed out love like it was nothing, fed on the ardor in the blood of their prey until the bodies shriveled and there was nothing left but dust.

thud!

she ceased her melody, and turned to face who she already knew was toji returning from the hunt.

there was a man sprawled on the sand reeking of piss and terror and rum. she watched as the moonlight mixed with the bead of sweat running down his temple, dripping down to mix with the crushed shells in the sand.

she tilted her head curiously.

in all these long years, toji had never once brought her a live human.

thump! thump! thump!

her pupils dilated, inky blackness invading the milky sea of her eyes at the sound of the man’s heartbeat.

she had not killed a living thing in so long.

(the red king had sat at the helm,

smiling at the bloody carnage spilled over the oak decking of his ship.)

toji’s eyes were green lanterns in the night, his worn leather boot pressing down hard on the man’s back. she wondered if this was a test – it had to be. toji never did anything without reason, even if she never knew exactly what went on in his mind. he was too cunning for mindless havoc, because then the resulting mess would be uncontrollable, unpredictable.

and toji did not like things to be messy.

the man looked at her, and she cooed at the fear etched into his features like scratchings on a rock. she opened her arms wide like a messiah, her body half-swallowed by the sea.

and started to sing again.

toji’s eyes widened a fraction, his fists tightening into boulders. he lifted his foot from the man’s back, stepping once, then twice backward, his mouth set in a thin line.

(he has heard you sing, and now he shall never let you go.

cried the first woman from long ago.)

she knew the magic was no longer imbued within her voice, because that had been a gift for the living. but death had not made it ugly. it was still a pretty voice, made from ice instead of salt. while she may not be able to drown the mighty ships of pirates any longer, it was still enough to captivate those who would kill for something more beautiful than the dirt they were born in.

the man stumbled forward, much like when she had first emerged from the sea. she smiled fondly as the wind carried her song over the sand dunes. still, the poor human crawled and crept towards her desperately like she was his salvation. the only rone who would soothe away all his troubles, and save him from the doom and demons in the shadows.

was this how toji had felt when she came to him? it was something more than power – godlike, perhaps.

she decided that she liked this feeling.

the man collapsed ungracefully into her arms, tears and snot streaming down both his cheeks like rain, babbling nonsense she could not understand. she cradled him to her chest, hushing him soothingly with a mother’s honeyed tongue. she met toji’s gaze, hoping that he could see just how deliriously grateful she was to him for this gift.

and with that, she fell backward into the sea, the man’s last sound a choking gasp of salt.

the squid darted frantically all around her, the only witnesses to the man’s fate in the darkness of the night sea. they had seen this dance a thousand and one times before; she killed in the death the same way she had in life.

when she had had her fill, she let the man’s body sink and hoped that at least the sharks would be somewhat thankful to her.

even if she would never be able to hear it.

she emerged from the sea, her clothes clinging to her skin like scales. to her surprise, toji was there to greet her, knee deep beneath the waves. he was a haunting vision of an angels grandeur, more than all that was considered beautiful in the world. breathlessly, she smiled at him, sinful blood coating her teeth and tongue.

he took a step toward her, and she to him.

toji moved his head to the side, his marble jaw flashing in the moon, and hummed. she could tell he was pleased by the tremble of his lips that threatened to curl upward, and the flare of his nostrils as he breathed her in.

his hand reached out to her, cupping her jaw, and quickly pushed his thumb between her parted lips. she gasped against his skin as he rubbed it over her teeth and the pearly points of her fangs, and removed it from her mouth with a provocative pop!

slowly, toji brought it to his own lips.

and sucked.

she watched him, utterly transfixed as the midnight moon, as he relished the taste of iron and salt.

in that moment, she decided to give toji her soul to him if she had one. she would submit herself to the justice of michael’s sun and fire to be with him forever, even if was just for a chance to be loved by him until the end of time on this miserable land in the vast world.

“do you want me to sing again?” she asked, hoping he understood.

toji only hummed in response, the faintest hint of a satisfied smile playing on his lips.

she did it anyway.

⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅

to love toji was to love a storm.

its chilling anticipation, waiting for it to hit her so she could feel something. to be in its green eye, for the rain to carelessly slash her skin, and the waves to bash against her – and still love and endure it regardless. because to weather a storm was to be strong, to be worthy enough, and it would love her all the more for it.

(or perhaps,

see her as a challenge to break.)

and when the storm passed, it meant they would thrive together.

toji had continued to bring her one starved man after the other, sometimes even two at a time, all far too eager to take their chances with her rather than him. they were pirates, forgettable and disposable, and all met death in the sea that they claimed to love more than anything. toji had noticed quite quickly how easily they came to her, how willingly.

there was no struggle, no mess.

and so, that was how they hunted.

together.

something in her haunting song had cracked through toji’s wall. before dawn, satiated from the hunt, they were a tangled mess of limbs and panting breaths – dancing, wandering hands of liquid gold looking for a crevice to settle in. when they made love, toji never faced her, hissing if she tried to look at him, and a small part of her soul would wither into a burnt, blackened rose. still, she desperately drank in whatever he decided to give her, and that was decidedly good enough.

(you are nothing in the grand schemings of the green serpent in the garden,

sighed the first women from long ago.)

their days were still spent mostly in silence, though sometimes he allowed her to rest beside him. she did not understand toji, how his passion only seemed to awaken after his bloodlust had been quenched – after she had led the sailors to their deaths. the very moment the sun appeared, that part of him was locked away in a chest and thrown to the bottom of the sea, only to be dragged back to the surface when the moon returned.

she began to loathe the sun for entirely different reasons.

still, love for toji was where she found herself. if anything in this mortal world could make her undead heart beat once more, it was that love. so, she took all his faults and smothered them in sugar, and swallowed them down anyway. if toji did not love her, then he wouldn’t make her feel so alive when the moon came out to play. he would not have bothered with anything at all if he did not feel something, even if it was just a flicker of candlelight.

at least, that is how she rationalized it to herself.

they were both lying below deck, with her running through those very conflicting thoughts in her head when she heard it.

thump! thud, thud… thump!

she parted her lips and tasted the air on her tongue.

intruders.

on their ship, in broad daylight.

she sat up abruptly and whirled around to look at toji.

but he had already disappeared.

he was much faster than she, and was probably already tucked away somewhere in between the dusty maze of crates and chests. the footsteps grew louder as the stranger passed directly over her head, and she swallowed nervously. her mind raced, and throat burned viciously with thirst.

where could she hide?

rattle! clink, clink!

the metal latches on the doors were being disturbed.

there was nowhere to go, but she knew that when those doors opened, the holy sun of heaven would surely kill her. she spied a large chest, half-open and draped with worn sheets covering it, and dove toward it.

and not a moment too soon.

the doors swung open, and she winced as a dull beige light filtered through the sheet. there were three of them, their figures outlined as blurry browned shadows through the seams. one wore an ostentatious hat with a feather peeking out from the top, and something about his sword, sheathed in a black leather scabbard, set her teeth on edge.

something menacing.

something that could hurt her – toji.

her lips curled back over her gums, baring her fangs in a silent snarl.

they were moving deeper and deeper into the maze of crates, their backs gradually turned to her and their doom.

she pounced.

michael’s sword of light seared her exposed neck and arms, but it did not deter her from latching onto one of the smaller intruders and sinking her teeth into his neck. the man screamed, clawing desperately at her face as he slipped backwards in surprise. the other two whirled around, and the one with the hat unsheathed his sword to reveal gleaming, cruel silver.

together, the four of them danced around each other to the tune of blood and silver. for every weeping bite she left, the captain slashed her with his sword. she didn’t know it could be possible, but the pain from his strikes hurt her more than the sun did. it was a chaotic scuffle, born from instinct and the sheer will to survive.

but still, the humans could never hope to endure salt and ice.

with a final thrust, the captain twisted his sword into her shoulder, his life force fading violently as his essence poured down into her throat. she slumped down to the ground, holding the human close as she took in the aftermath of their fight.

the ship was a mess.

blood was splattered across the crates and boards, with the mangled bodies of the three men scattered and sinking down into every crack in the ship, spilling straight down to the sea beneath them. she clicked her locked jaw, and detached herself from her assailant, and hurried to tuck herself away into a half-open crate, whimpering from the pain of the burning sun blisters and stinging silver.

she was not healing.

there was a rustling of sheets somewhere, a great rush of wind, and the doors slammed shut with a loud bang!

she collapsed forward, her eyes bathed in cooling darkness, gasping and coughing as the wood uncomfortably scraped her open sores. she blinked, and saw toji’s crinkled boots in front of her.

her love was perfectly balanced on the balls of his feet, looking down at her with his hands and face clean of both blood and worry. she whimpered pathetically at toji, begging and pleading with her eyes for him to do something, anything.

he sighed.

gently, toji turned her to face him, and tipped her chin back. he pushed the base of his thumb past her parted lips, settling it in between her teeth. he gave her an encouraging nod, soft clouds behind the green of his iris, and pressed his thumb a touch further into her mouth.

she froze.

her fangs grazed his marble skin, and a pearl of toji’s blood spread across her tongue.

what was that look in his eyes?

it was something almost like pride.

she took a deep breath in, and took a long slow drag from him.

she was then lost in a sea of tumbling emeralds. his blood had ignited something feral and dangerous in her, working her up into a wild state as her wounds sealed and smoothed out like nothing had happened. somehow, toji’s lips had found hers, and they kissed and bit each other’s lips in a frenzied madness.

was it all just for a taste?

she couldn’t tell if toji was life or death.

(she was too far gone in her sin and indulgence,

that she could not tell the difference anymore.)

there was something inherently intimate about blood sharing. she could not explain it, but it was more profound than when they fell into each others embrace every night. toji was gripping both sides of her face, her lips bloody and bruised as she tasted herself on his tongue. perhaps it was her imagination, but she felt toji’s soul running through her – raw and angry and full of smoke.

she wondered what he thought she tasted like.

and hoped that he enjoyed it.

⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅

immortality was not truly immortal.

death still hovered over them with his scythe, a mere inch away from their waiting, vulnerable throats. nobody knew that he was there, always watching, never knowing exactly when he might urge his midnight stallion just a little closer.

she certainly hadn’t known it either.

not until it was upon her.

they were on a beach sometime during the summer, a thick storm cloud hanging over the sea and shore. it was a taunting, teasing thing, making her jump as the thunder rolled through her bones and made her marrow tremble.

toji was lounging beneath a lopsided palm tree, its trunk bent and twisted so that its leaves draped to the side and covered him. even when the clouds cover was as thick as it was now, he still opted to stay in the shade, squinting his eyes as if the sun was burning him. he would watch her play in the waves, grunting dismissively when she would teasingly curl her fingers at him, urging him to come closer.

when that didn’t work, she would sing for him.

and the creases and ripples in the marble of his forehead would soften and smooth – only then could toji relax in the sun.

she turned her back to him and the shore, spreading her arms to the heavens as she sang to the jealous sea, declaring how grand immortality and their love was.

but she should have remembered where she was in this unfeeling world.

so loud was the call of the birds on the summer breeze and the waves beating against the sand and her ears, that she did not hear them until it was too late.

those horrid, vicious humans.

they had grabbed her by the arms and legs, with what seemed like twenty men still struggling against her strength. she spat and cursed at them, hissing and snarling as they pressed their silver crosses and flaming torches to her skin, marring her forever.

she wanted to cry, but remembered she could not.

toji’s green flames were upon her, she was sure of it. she could feel his presence was near, and could still smell him and his leather boots through the sour stench of the rotten fish from the townsmen surrounding her.

he was watching.

and doing nothing.

would toji be proud of her in this moment, as he had been when she defended him all those years ago? when she took the lives of those that had threatened him and his peace. she felt the flames soften and knew that he was – he had to be. she was sparing him from the fire and silver, so eager to take his place and save him from haunting the seas.

it was better that toji had not said any sort of goodbye at all, that they had not shared any sort of special last moment together.

but still.

a part of her hoped that he would sweep in to save her. that the part of him that had perhaps loved her could not bear to be parted from her. that immortality was worthless without her love and song.

but she knew that was not in his nature.

he was a survivor, through and through.

(how could it have been love? you were just as blind as i was,

wailed the first woman from long ago.)

she wondered if he would come to her after she was gone, as a stake was driven into her chest, shattering and splintering her ribcage. would he pluck out her heart and suck it dry from all the love it had for him? even though toji had taken everything and more from her, she wondered if he had at least realized he had been selfishly incapable of putting her out of her misery.

“お許しください”

but the fragile, momentous realization she had was that if immortality was true, and she had to choose to relive all of this – toji – over and over again.

she would.

and she did.

⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅

if anybody would like to pop into my inbox to discuss the fic and share their interpretations, please feel free to do so! <3

©storiesoflilies 2024, all rights reserved. please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my work on other sites! i only post on ao3 and tumblr.

[emilyzipps]

okay today was GREAT, i made my calendar, adjusted the timeline of the novel to make more sense, AND wrote 7,000 new words, putting me over the 15k mark.

Finally feeling like I'm in the groove of this new novel, and it feels excelllllllllent.

the vibe of these 7k is:

me: i'm so excited to finally have a whole day for writing!

also me: this is a great time to make a color-coded calendar in microsoft excel and annotate an entire 12 months for this WIP

[viiper1]

The perfect Date.

The ideal date they would plan for you.

Head canons

Mentioned: Armin, Jean, eren, Conny, Reiner

Armin Arlert.

Would start off with a Picknick near a flower field.

Would make you a flower crown.

You’d watch the sunset together and do cloud gazing/star gazing (depending on how long you guys stayed)

Or Picknick at the beach

and if he thinks you’re the type of person to like or value that sort of thing he will give you cute seashells he found.

Afterwards you’d take a walk on the beach, walking barefoot in the sand during the sunset.

He’d probably take some pictures too to remember this date. For some reason he always takes the best pictures of you without even really trying.

And MIGHT gift you a self made memory book or a handwritten letter.

If it’s colder he’d take you ice skating

will teach you how to properly skate because you keep falling on your ass.

Don’t worry he’s catching you (most of the times)

Connie Springer.

Would take you to an arcade or a gaming center (and laugh at you every time you lose to him) would swear that you cheated when you win against at him more than once.

You two almost spend the whole day there completely forgetting about the time because you were having so much fun.

Or a amusement park/fun fair

he will try to encourage you if you’re scared to ride a ride

and even make fun of you a little bit “don’t tell me you’re scared, how cute” he teases

On the ride you’re BOTH screaming your asses off.

“You seemed scared…at your grown age…cute I guess” You made fun of him tease him back.

You two almost ride all the roller coasters

He tried to win you a plushie on claw machine but it takes him like 6 tries untill he gets one small plushy

“I swear these machines are rigged!” He says but then tries again on a different machine.

You make him ride the Ferris wheel with you at the end.

Jean Kirstein.

Drive in movie theater,

If you’re watching a scary movie it’s probably because he thought you’d snuggle into him in fear but then he’d be the one to claw on to you but he swears on his grandma that he isn’t scared.

Dinner date but he’s making dinner for you.

Idk why but I love the thought of Jean making dinner for his lover.

OR you’re both cooking together,

maybe even messing around and smearing a bit of flower on his face but he’d definitely get revenge for that one.

He’d have candles lit and the lights out, it would be super romantic.

Surprisingly the food doesn’t taste bad.

Afterwards if you’re not too tired, you both would point portraits of each other and he’s lowkey a good painter so he did a really nice job.

If you’re too tired you’d just snuggle in bed and watch a movie.

Eren Yeager.

Also Arcade or gaming center

it was supposed to be cute a first but it turns very competitive very fast

he doesn’t like to lose and if he does he’ll say he let you win on purpose.

You better watch out at laser tag he will not hold back just because you’re his gf.

Takes most games supper serious and you barely have a chance at winning.

Feels kinda bad afterwards so he buys you a plushy and roses at the store around the corner as a surprise.

Or a rooftop restaurant dinner/bar

the view was so beautiful, it felt unreal,

he was paying ofc

He bought you a bracelet with the initial “E” on it, and expects you to wear it everyday.

Will ask why you’re not wearing it if he doesn’t see it on your arms throughout the relationship/marriage.

Reiner Braun.

Romantic fancy dinner

He would 100% stand there with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and open the car door for you.

It’s a Very fancy restaurant but he didn’t tell you so you lowkey look like you wandered into the wrong building. He feels kinda bad afterwards when you tell him you feel out of place and underdressed.

You already KNOW he’s paying.

Or picnic and candle painting

He’d try his best to make a pretty candle but he’s not as good at it as you.

He puts them in the loving room but doesn’t really want to use the candles because he doesn’t want them to ‘disappear’

After you made him go on another candle painting date in hops that you get to burn at least one of the, now four, candles he still insists on not using them and suggests a different normal candle.

Ofc if you Insist on wanting to use one of the four, he’ll let you but he’s lowkey a bit sad to see them go since they reminded him of the date.

Thank you for reading<3

@briefpeachdinosaur

[papercorgiworld]

Summer vibes and slytherins

Tom II, Mattheo, Blaise and Enzo

Spending the day at the beach with your boyfriend, based on this request. Short, but extremely fluffy. Warning, this isn’t just fluffy… it’s cheesy.

I’m not a crazy summer vibe person, but I do like a beach day, so I did my best. Sorry it’s so short but I hope you like it, dear anon. Also, me writing something called summer vibes while drinking homemade soup from my Christmas mug on a rainy day with my marauders blanky wrapped around me just felt like a crime. But it was fun!!! So here it goes, happy readings!

You were spending your summer in the muggle world. The place where you were staying and weather were beyond perfect, but it doesn’t feel right without your boyfriend. Early in the morning you write a letter, telling him that you miss him and asking him to join for a day or two. While you wait for a reply you decide to head to the beach, but instead of answering your letter he decides to surprise you.

Tom II

You smile as you spot an overdressed Tom walking your way. It can’t be? Really? A bright smile makes its way onto your lips and Tom looks at you questioningly. “I didn’t expect you to come.” You explain with amusement. “Why not?” He asks dryly as he tries to keep himself from staring at your perfect figure. “Because you’re… you.” You answer with a sweet smile as you wrap your arms around his neck. He knew exactly what you meant by that and huffed softly. “Yes, but I’m your boyfriend, so I might not like this.. summer, beaches, fun… but I’m here for you.” Your smile grows wider as you meet his eyes. “Kiss me.” You say, barely containing your excitement that he’s here for you. “More demands.” Tom jokes, before leaning in to kiss you tenderly.

”You want to join me surfing?” You ask, pointing towards the water and Tom watches the water with a weird half smile, before turning to you. “Okay, here I’m drawing a line. How about I’m in charge of ice cream and you go do the water thing you do.” You pout for a moment, but you know not to push it and peck his lips. “Fine, but will you watch me?” Tom nods happily. “Sure, that’s like my favorite thing to do.” You feel yourself get all giddy and go stand on your tippy toes to peck his lips on last time before heading into the water. With loving eyes Tom watches you, fighting the urge to curse every muggle that looks your way.

When you get out of the water Tom is holding your favourite ice cream and adoring you as you happily skip over to him. A view, a feeling, a moment to hold onto forever. “You used a spell to keep this cold for me didn’t you?” You say as you take the freezing cold ice cream. He nods. “You’re my girlfriend, no half melted ice cream for you, only the best for you.” You look up at him with starry eyes, before eying the book he was holding in his hand. “Shall we settle somewhere and enjoy the sun?” He reaches for your hand and you both walk in search of a secluded spot to relax.

Mattheo

You came running out of the water with a bright happy smile on your face when you recognised your boyfriend. Hands tugged in the pockets of his shorts and dark sunglasses following your figure, curly hair messier than ever due to the wind, no mistaking him. “You came?” You place a hand on his chest as you lean in for a summer kiss. “As soon as I got your owl.” He says with a cheeky smile and leans in for another kiss. “I missed you.” You whisper, lips still close to his. “Yeah, I got that from your letter.” Mattheo chuckles and you drop your head in embarrassment. “But I’m here, princess. So what do you want to do?” Your eyes wander the beach as you think. “Let’s go surf!” You suddenly suggest and enthousically tug Mattheo a few steps in the direction of the water.

”I’m not a surfing kinda guy.” Mattheo jokes, stopping you and wrapping his arms around you. He pulls your beautiful body against his bare chest and you giggle as he pulls you closer. “You’re just afraid you’ll embarrass yourself.” Mattheo catches your lips with his to shut you up. “I know how to surf, don’t underestimate your own boyfriend.” You laugh, not believing him, but enjoying the little argument. “Have you ever surfed before?” You ask between giggles and he playfully narrows his eyes at you. “No, but I know how to.” You frown at his words. “I’ll prove it to you, little lady.” He says before guiding you both in the direction of the water.

Once out of the water you walked to your boyfriend while shaking your head. “You cheated! You used magic!” Mattheo shrugs. “How is using magic cheating?” You cross your arms and Mattheo closes the distance between you two so he’s towering over you. “Muggles are just primitive in their way of surfing.” You groan at his silly argument, but before you can object to Mattheo’s ridiculousness he wraps his arms back around you and captures your lips for an intensely passionate kiss. “You’re just jealous of my excellent surfing skills.” Mattheo can’t resist teasing before again locking his lips with yours, kissing you so tenderly that you’ll surely keep quiet for a while.

Blaise

You watch the waves when you suddenly yelp as you feel two arms wrap around you. Blaise laughs loudly at the sound you make and you turn around cursing him, but can’t manage for long as you quickly start smiling, adoring your boyfriend. “You’re here.” You whisper and he stops laughing. A soft smile appears on his lips as he wraps his arm around you pulling you against his chest. “Of course, you don’t think I was missing you?” You look up at your boyfriend with shiny eyes. “You missed me?” He laughs and shakes his head at your silly question. “Are you seriously asking me that? Obviously your brains have been cooked by the sun. Let’s get that silly head of yours cooled down in the water.

A goofy, innocent smile tugs on your lips as you realize how ridiculous your question was. You spot someone surfing in the distance and jump as an idea comes to you. Blaise looks up, a little startled by your sudden excitement and you grab his hand. “Let’s go surf?” Blaise laughs, before realizing that you’re serious. “Wizards don’t surf.” He states dryly and you drop your shoulders, frowning at his bizarre statement. “What? Why wouldn’t wizards surf? It’s fun.” Blaise lets his head fall to the side and wants to protest, but you interrupt him. “How about I teach you the basics.” You say as you seductively move towards him in an attempt to convince your boyfriend to join you surfing.

After watching him fail again and again you can’t keep a straight face anymore and he’s getting slightly frustrated, but he doesn’t quit. You watch him struggle and eventually somewhat master the skill of surfing. Exhausted, you both walk along the beach, feet sinking in the sand and his hand tightly wrapped around yours. While he watches the waves you watch him with admiration, when he notices he raises an eyebrow and you smile looking down. “I’m just impressed.” Blaise chuckles and tugs your hand, pulling you closer so he can sling his arm over shoulder. “I’m a quick study and you were an excellent teacher, except for the laughing. It’s not okay to laugh at someone who’s learning a new skill.” You let your head rest against his chest as you smile. “Sorry about that. How about I make it up with some ice cream.” He looks down at you and squeezes your arm. “Now we’re talking.” He whispers and places a soft kiss on the crown of your head.

Lorenzo

You frowned as you recognised your boyfriend in the distance. Is that my Enzo? Enzo owned the summer vibe, that perfect summer tan combined with his smile and beach outfit. You noticed girls chatting him up as he waited to get ice cream. You purse your lips and cross your arms as you watch him. When he finally turns around he spots you staring at him. He curses himself, now that his attempt to surprise you had failed. With ice cream in both hands he walks up to you and leans in for a passionate kiss. “Surprise!” He quips and you laugh, before kissing him again with even more passion. “All this because I got you ice cream?” Lorenzo jokes referring to your intense kiss as he hands you the cold snack. You nod as your tongue catches some melting drops and he laughs. “The ice cream and maybe because I you missed a little… and I need those chatty girls to know you’re mine.” Enzo wiggles his eyebrows. “I can’t believe you spotted me. I wanted to surprise you.” He pouts a little and you chuckle. “So what’s up next, sunbathing? I can help you with the sunblock.” You giggle, but you knew Enzo probably wanted to do something a little more active than sunbathing. “Surfing?” You ask, still focused on your ice cream, but then you look up at your boyfriend. “Can you even surf?” You ask, baffled by the fact that you didn’t know despite dating him for this long.

“Of course I can surf! There isn’t a fun thing in the world that I haven’t mastered yet.” His smile is filled with summer enthusiasm. He holds your hand as you guide him to get a surfboard, shamelessly adoring your figure. When Enzo makes his way to the water you immediately notice his surfing skills are on the rusty side, but he manages to keep up with you for quite a while. In an attempt to do some tricks to impress you the waves beat him and you hurry your way to your boyfriend. However, you can’t help but slow down to admire his build and messy wet hair as he resurfaces. With a toothy grin he welcomes you into his arms. “I did that on purpose.” You laugh and kiss him.

“Maybe a bit more sunbathing?” You tease and he narrows his eyes at you before kissing you. “How about you become my personal surfing instructor and I’ll be a very good student.” Your boyfriend’s hands move over your sides, over your hips and rest on your ass as he carefully studies your face, waiting for an answer. You look up to him through your lashes. “I sense a hidden agenda.” Enzo’s hand caresses your cheek. ‘Maybe? Or maybe I’m just very eager to learn all the right moves…”

[exactlycleverpirate]

Timeline from Xavier's Perspective Part 2

EDIT: Updated with some new information and some adjustments.

(Includes spoilers for basically everything, including all myths.)

This is an update of my earlier post. See Part 1 here.

Timeline from Xavier's perspective (Part 2/Earth):

Timejump.

?1248 (“It’s been 800 years!”)? Sometime in a past life, Rafayel and MC were lovers. (Is this when MC was trapped on the Island of Songs in a hut by herself, doomed to someday drown and Rafayel comes, gives her his heart and saves her?) Then she is cursed and turned into a Sea Witch in the Abyssal Rift. She has no memory of Rafayel or being human. Rafayel exchanges his scale, eternal blood, and a shell with his voice in order to turn MC human and restore her memories. Then he turns to sea foam. (Fragrant Dream.) (This could all be an actual dream or allusion that never happen or hasn't happened yet. However, this could be when Rafayel gifted MC one of his scales and formed the bond between them.)

2018 Xavier checks out a book in the library that MC will check out 30 years later. (An 

1834 AD Xavier, Jeremiah, Isaiah, Noah (Likely actually Jeremiah, due to translation error), and others stranded on Earth. (This timing comes from a promotional video where Xavier says he has been on Earth for 214 years.) (Part of a team called the Backtrackers. Were on a Backtrack mission when something went wrong in the Deepspace tunnel.)

Appointment)

2021 Zayne born Sept 5th.

2024 (...probably) Rafayel born March 6th

2025 The year Xavier claims he was born, on Oct 16th.

2026-2027 MC born. (This age comes from chapter 5.1. The letter she gets from Grandma says she was 7-8 when they started experimenting on her, and she was adopted by Grandma after the Chronorift Catastrophe in 2034.)

Child Rafayel likes escaping to explore the ocean. On one or more of these excursions, he sees a lantern festival and puts out their lanterns. (Ocean At Night)

2032 Xavier joins Arthur's police team. (Anecdote 2)

2033 That winter, Noah (Likely actually Jeremiah, due to translation error) contacts Xavier for information to make a new identity. Noah mentions wanting to be an ordinary person in this timeline and that he fell in love. Xavier fakes his death as a police officer and encounters a lost little girl with a bunny plushie. Fights Isaiah in Linkon city in a fight that makes the whole city go dark. He disguises this by making it look like there is a meteor shower. (Anecdote 2)

2034 Deepspace tunnel appears and Chronorift Catastrophe (timespace anomaly in Linkon city). MC is 7-8, taken in by Grandma. Caleb is also adopted by Grandma. 12 year old Zayne loses control of his Evol at the end of summer and has a nightmare about the Grim Reaper for the first time. Rafayel would be 10 at this time. Xavier appears as Lumiere for the first time, kills the first Wanderer in the Chronorift Catastrophe and saves MC. On December 31st, Lemurian ruins are discovered, after a tsunami southeast of Linkon city, when a rift opens up and reveals it. Her grandma participates in experiments to fuse a human heart and a protocore. At some point, MC's heart is fused with an Aether core. Onichynus and Dr. Noah are both somehow linked to these experiments. Her first heart doctor is Dr. Noah.

At some point in MC and Rafayel's childhood, Rafayel visits the surface world but gets trapped on the beach on his return trip (on Ebb Day?) (Perhaps during her field trip to Hat Island?) She saves him and they make a pinkie promise. Rafayel says if she doesn't return, he will chase her to the ends of the earth. (Nightly Stroll)

Child Rafayel is given a Whale Call as a means of protection, in case something happens on one of his escapes from Lemuria. However, he never uses it, because he never escapes again after this, and sometime later he buries it in the Lemurian city. (Whalefall Lament)

Child Rafayel is tricked and his people slaughtered. Some survivors go into hiding living on land among humans, including his Aunt Talia and K. (Anecdote 3)

Sometime before 2038, MC goes on a field trip to Hat Island (possibly when she meets Rafayel?).

2035 Zayne (age 14) begins medical school at Skywalk University, spends 6 years in med school program. (It normally takes 8.) (From his biography on the hospital wall.)

2043 Zayne (age 22) graduates from medical school. Goes on a mission to the Arctic where he is forced to mercy kill his mission leader who is being consumed by some sort of ice (Anecdote 2). Begins work at Linkon Central Hospital. (From his biography on the hospital wall.)

Rafayel's Anecdote 3 immediately precedes Anecdote 2 (See 2044-2047). Rafayel is singing in the opera and seeking revenge overseas in Verona under the name Mo. He is being investigated by a private detective named Louis. He is not painting at this time. His Aunt Talia is also in Verona. He attends a Seamoon Ceremony for a fellow Lemurian survivor, K. Lemurians are hiding amongst humanity, but being hunted, tortured, harvested for their scales and blood and killed. Rafayel then moves to Linkon city and resumes painting again. He has a photo of MC in his pocket. (Anecdote 3).

Sometime between 2043-2045 MC (17-18) begins attending University of Linkon. (School year usually begins in September.)

2043-2047 Rafayel's Anecdote 2 takes place sometime in this timeframe while MC is at University of Lincoln. That summer, his painting Illusion projects him into the spotlight as a popular artist. In late summer, he becomes a lecturer at University of Linkon. He receives information on her from someone at the Nest. He believes there are “predators'' surrounding her, some of whom may be trying to use her to trap him, so he is wary about approaching her. He burns the photos and information the man who investigated her collects about her. He describes his feelings toward her as painful and addictive, thinking he is ready to spend the rest of his days with her, but also wants to settle the score between them. (Anecdote 2). Thomas becomes Rafayel’s agent. (Anecdote 1).

2045 Xavier meets Arthur at his tombstone. (Anecdote 2)

2046 Zayne makes a groundbreaking discovery about the effects of the Evol gene on heart development. (From the AKSO hospital article about him). He receives the Starcatcher and Linde Awards. (From his biography on the hospital wall.)

2047-2048 MC graduates. (School year usually ends June-July)

2048 Pregame: Zayne becomes chief surgeon. Zayne becomes MC's doctor 6 months before the story begins (in July of 2048, making 6 months prior the month of January) (Dr. Dean/Noah was her doctor before him). Also 6 months before the story begins, Raymond begins exhibiting symptoms of mental confusion and other abnormal behavior. At the start of the year, (per Main Story chpt 2.6) Rafayel returns to the country from overseas. He is known for spending six months painting in his studio, then traveling the world for inspiration/materials for the other 6 months. The month before the main story, Rafayel's art broke the record for the highest selling art at Lizio Auctions. Raymond buys a painting from Rafayel's gallery.

2048 Story begins Wednesday, July 1st (most likely), with MC being initiated as a Hunter in the Hunter's Association. MC is about 21-22, and her Evol has to do with Resonance, Anhaunsen Class. Rafayel is 24, Fire Evol. Zayne is 27, Ice Evol. Xavier claims to be 23, Light Evol. Traceback II is approaching the event horizon and entering the black hole.

See Love and Deepspace: the Story So Far Part 1.

Sometime in the future, after the destruction of Linkon but before the destruction of Earth, Grim Reaper Zayne lives, killing humans turned Wanderer and dreaming of a life as a doctor with the woman he loves. (Anecdote 3)

Part 1 and 2 in this timeline continue in a loop perpetually?

[petitemistletoe]

Presents of Mind

Pairing: James Potter x Reader

Warnings: smut, angst

Word Count: 5.2K+

A/N: Do wizards have grad school? What comes after Hogwarts? Also idk why but its canon to me that Sirius walks around naked

“Why are you moping?” Harry asked you, poking your arm lightly as he sat down on the couch next to you. 

“I’m not moping.” You sighed and set your book down. 

“You are. You’ve been moping since you got that letter last night.” 

“That was my mom,” you sighed again, turning your body fully so you were facing Harry, “she’s going to the United States for Christmas to visit my brother and his wife and their new baby. It’s just going to be too crazy with the newborn so she wants me to stay with my weird Uncle Radolophus for the holidays. I told her I’d be fine here since I have about a mountain of work to finish for my advisor but she doesn’t want me to be alone.”

“Why don’t you stay with me for Christmas? This will be the first Christmas with my dad since my mom started dating Snape.” Harry had a disgusted look on his face. In Harry’s final year at Hogwarts, his parents announced they were getting divorced and his mother moved out of his house a few months later. Professor Snape had become even more insufferable as he tried to win Lily’s affection and luckily for everyone, Lily had waited until after Harry had been settled at university for his first year of a graduate program to start dating Snape. Harry had practically lost his mind and spent several weeks holed up in your shared apartment and you had to draw him out with chocolate frogs and butterbeer. 

“Are you sure? Your dad won’t mind?” 

“Nah, he’s nesting big time. He’s cooking a whole giant dinner and it’s going to be just me, Sirius, and Remus.” Harry shrugged.

“It won’t be weird? Me staying in your childhood home?” You asked, thinking about seeing Harry’s childhood bedroom. 

“No, no, my dad rented a house in Cornwall. It’s a little tradition that him and his friends have. Come on! It’ll be fun. Cornwall at Christmas with my best friend. Snow on the beach!”

“Alright. I’ll come.” You nodded.  

You and Harry had been friends since first year but you had strangely never met and had barely even seen Harry’s father. Harry’s mother had been more involved in all the school things and you supposed that’s why Lily and Severus had grown close again. It wasn’t that James was absent, quite the opposite, he was almost always at Quidditch tournaments and of course took Harry to and from Kings Cross every September but you just never seemed to catch him for more than a few moments since first year. You had heard from Hermione and Ginny, however, that apparently the man was supposed to be drop dead gorgeous. 

“I’m leaving after my exam tonight. Meet you back here at seven?” Harry asked, getting up and stuffing his textbook into his bag. As Harry got ready to leave you heard a knock at your door. You got up off the couch to answer it and let Hermione and Ron in.  They were bickering, as they usually were, and settled down in yours and Harry’s apartment like it was their own. 

“Ron thinks that a vacuum cleaner is an appropriate Christmas gift for his parents.” Hermione sighed, pouring herself a cup of coffee while Ron flopped down on the couch next to you.

“It is! Mum loves to clean and dad’ll love that its a muggle invention.” Ron said, grabbing a throw pillow of the couch and burying his face in it. 

“Your mother is a person beyond the face that she’s your mother. Why don’t you think of a gift that fits one of her interests?”

“She hasn’t got any interests!” Ron groaned and removed the pillow slightly to check his watch, “Harry let’s go! We got to be at the lecture hall in twenty minutes!” 

“I’m coming! God, you two are so lucky you’re done with exams.” Harry said, shaking his head at you and Hermione. 

“Oh Harry! Molly wanted me to ask if you’re coming to spend Christmas with the Weasleys?” Hermione said, finally taking her place next to you on the couch with her warm cup of coffee. 

“No. I’m spending it with Dad this year. Plus, Ginny isn’t even going to be there, she’ll still be touring with the Cannons.”

“You don’t want to come to your best friend’s Christmas because your girlfriend won’t be there? We were friends before you even noticed Ginny!” Ron said, mouth open in shock. 

“Ron, I’m spending Christmas with my father. You can bear Christmas with your own girlfriend and family.” 

“Ugh, my family,” Ron sighed, “do you want to come?” He asked you. 

“Spending it with Harry.” You shrugged. Harry rolled his eyes then looked at you on the couch. “We’re heading out! See you when we get back.”

You waved and then turned back to Hermione after you heard the door shut. 

“So I’m spending Christmas with Harry.” You said. 

“Oh my God. Have you seen Harry’s dad?” She asked excitedly. 

“You know I haven’t! When was the last time you saw him?” 

“I got tea with Professor Lupin a few weeks ago and Harry’s dad stopped by his flat to drop off his broom. The divorce is serving him well, let me tell you. He looks fantastic.” Hermione grinned. 

“I don’t remember the last time I saw you this excited about Ron,” you joked gently. 

“Ron and I have been together for almost five years now,” Hermione said with a bored shrug, “He gets to ogle Fleur and I get to ogle Harry’s dad. As long as we come back to each other there’s no problem.”

“Okay,” you laughed, “I get it. But isn’t this a little weird? That’s Harry’s dad. He’s our best friend.” 

“Talk to me after you see him.” 

You thought about Hermione’s words long after she left your apartment. You had a small bag packed and you were fiddling around waiting for Harry to come back. You practiced transfiguring different objects in your apartment into different animals. You figured you had to stop, however, when you transfigured your fireplace into a dragon and it took a few more seconds than you thought it would to transfigure it back. Your walls were a little soot covered but you were up on a chair trying to get the soot off the ceiling when Harry got back. 

“What are you doing?” He asked with a surprised chuckle. 

“Uh, had a little scuffle with a dragon.” You said sheepishly. 

“Transfiguring the fireplace again?” He gave you a knowing look. 

“How was your exam?” You asked, getting off the chair and pushing it back towards the kitchen table. 

“It was alright. I’m ready to have a drink and not think about school for the next few weeks.” Harry said, setting his book bag down and grabbing his traveling bag. 

“Yeah, real smart of us to go from Hogwarts to uni to grad school without taking a breath.” You rolled your eyes and grabbed your own bag, threading your free hand into Harry’s and waiting for him to apparate.

You stumbled onto a stretch of beach with a large manor that overlooked the water. 

“So this is where we’re spending Christmas? I knew you came from money but I had no idea you were this well off. Sure you’re happy with Ginny?” You said, grabbing Harry’s cheek teasingly. 

“Shove off,” Harry rolled his eyes and led you to the front door. The manor was cute, comfy, and warm. It was more chic than the Weasley home, with newer furniture and more modern decor, but it was still homey. It smelled like warm butterbeer and cinnamon and you could hear casual conversation in the sitting room. Harry walked into the sitting room and you took in the two men who were sitting in there. One of the men was familiar to you, your old defense against the dark arts professor Remus Lupin and the other man was around the same age, with longer dark hair, a chiseled jawline and cheekbones, and a smattering of tattoos that were visible on his chest through his thin shirt. That couldn’t have been Harry’s father…could it? He was beautiful. But he didn’t really look like Harry and everyone was always telling Harry that he was the spitting image of his father.

“Hello,” you said, greeting the two men.

“Ah! There’s my favorite student.” Remus said, standing up and giving you a quick, respectful hug. 

“This is my godfather, Sirius Black.” Harry introduced you to the attractive man, Sirius, who stretched out his hand to you after giving Harry a tight hug. 

“Pleasure to meet you.” He winked at you and you fought down a blush. 

“So where’s my dad at?” Harry asked, flinging himself down on the couch and holding his arm out so you could sit down next to him. You obliged, snuggling up against Harry’s warm body and looking at the two men on the opposite couch. 

“He ran out to buy a few things you for you and your friend. He wanted to make the place feel as inviting as possible and make biscuits for the both of you.” Sirius said with an eyeroll. 

“How’s he been. You know, since it all with Mum and Snape?” Harry asked. Sirius and Remus exchanged a look before Remus shrugged his shoulders and exhaled deeply, his fingers rubbing his temples,

“It’s been hard. Have you talked to your mum recently?”

“No. Not really. She knows how I feel about her and Snape. We’ve gotten tea a few times since but she knows that I wanted to spend Christmas with Dad.” Harry said with a head shake. You felt a little awkward, like you were intruding on a private moment between Harry and his uncles, but you didn’t say anything, just stared at your hands. 

“I have no idea what she sees in old Snivellus.” Sirius rolled his eyes and earned a slap on the chest from Remus.

“Sirius!”

“Come on, you think so too,” Sirius rolled his eyes at Remus, “You hated him just as much when you were teaching as we did when we were at school.”

“Even so-” Remus started to rebut but you heard the sound of the front door shut and you were sure that James was finally home. He entered the sitting room and you had to remind yourself to breathe. He was just as gorgeous as Hermione and Ginny had described. He was tall, with dark hair and eyes and those glasses. He had an easy smile and was muscular the way that Quidditch players were but he also had a distinguished dusting of silver in his dark hair. He immediately bound to Harry and hugged him tightly, his bicep pressing up against your own on the couch. He then pulled away from Harry and focused his attention on you. 

“I’m sorry. Strangely, in the entire time you’ve been close friends with Harry we haven’t really made each other’s acquaintance. I’m James.” James wrapped you in a close hug. 

“Hi! It’s great to meet you,” you nodded, not exactly hating the feeling of his body on yours. 

“So, I thought we would have a little Shepard’s pie if that’s all right with you, love?” James asked Harry. It was clear that he doted on Harry and you thought it was very precious. You had seen the way that Lily had doted on Harry and while that was all well and good it was different from the way that James was doting and it was refreshing and beautiful. You smiled at the duo as you watched them. 

“Yeah, Dad, sounds great.” Harry grinned up at his father. James touched Harry’s cheek affectionately and got up to head back into the kitchen. Remus and Harry got up to help James and you were going to get up too but Sirius sat down on the couch next to you and grinned at you with that crocodile grin he was so good at. 

“So, darling, do you have any connection to the honorable House of Black?” Sirius asked you, his fingers tracing a shape on your arm. 

“No. I don’t believe I do.” You responded. Sirius grinned even wider.

“Perfect.” He said, showing off his white teeth. 

“Get off her, Padfoot!” James called from the kitchen. Sirius waved at James’ general direction and stretched his arms over your shoulders. 

“You wouldn’t happen to have daddy issues, do you?”

“Are you asking me that because you want to know if I’m into older men?”

“So are you?” Sirius leaned in closer to you so your nose was brushing against his. 

“I had a great relationship with my Dad. Right up until he died.”

“Oh,” Sirius’ smile dropped, “I’m sorry.”

“That’s alright,” you said, waving him off, “That’s all to say that I definitely have some daddy issues.” 

“Silver lining, then.” Sirius said, smiling. You wouldn’t have been surprised if in the following moments, Sirius was going to close the distance between you both and kiss you on the Potter’s couch but Remus walked in and threw an oven mitt at Sirius. 

“Sirius! You whore!” Remus said, feigning anger and walking over to punch Sirius in the shoulder. 

“Ow! Get off me, you’re cramping my style.” Sirius glared at Remus.

“You know what else should cramp your style? The fact that you’ve been dating me since sixth year.” Remus rolled his eyes. 

“So I’m not allowed to live?” Sirius shot back. You were laughing as you watched the match unfold and it looked like Remus was gearing up to shoot another smart remark back but Harry walked back in and said, 

“Dad says dinner is ready and for you two to kiss and make up.” Harry stretched his hand out to help you off the couch. You all took seats at the table. 

“If you wanted to watch us make out, Prongs, you should’ve just said so.” Sirius teased. James stuck his tongue out in return. You took a moment to imagine what it would be like to have that tongue all over your body. You promptly shook your head to rid yourself of the thought. 

“So darling,” James turned to look at you and fought the urge to blush, “Harry told me your last name is Siphera. Any relation to Jack Siphera?”

“Uh yes,” you nodded, pushing around a pea on your plate, “he was my father.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. He was an excellent dueler. A strong member of the Order, you remember him don’t you?” James asked Remus and Sirius. 

“Jack was a very kind man,” Remus smiled.

“Siphera…I didn’t know that he had passed. How did he die, if you don’t mind my asking.” Sirius asked. Remus was shaking his head but Sirius didn’t seem to notice. 

“He was murdered by Bellatrix when she tried to escape Azkaban.” You responded. 

“Bellatrix? My cousin Bellatrix? Bellatrix Lestrange?” Sirius asked, dropping his fork with a clatter.

“Do you know very many other Bellatrixes?” Harry asked. You started laughing and so did Harry until the two of you were both doubled over and gasping for breath.

“Alright,” James said, looking at you two warily, “I bought a bottle of firewhisky for us all, raise your glasses.” James poured everyone a generous helping of firewhisky and then raised another bottle of dark liquor for shots. 

“To many holidays together.” Sirius grinned at you as you clinked glasses. You tipped your head back and took the drink, swallowing against the harsh burn in your throat. A small droplet escaped past the side of your glass and made its way down your chin and dropped between your breasts. You became acutely aware of the eyes that were on you. You rubbed your mouth harshly and took a large sip of firewhisky, averting your eyes to look at Harry. His cheeks were a bit pink from the shot and he shot you a large, easy smile. 

The drinking continued and the evening ended with you and Harry stumbling into a free bedroom and falling asleep. You and Harry had often slept in the same bed, it started when you were in second year and you had both stayed up late revising for potions. 

When you rose the next morning, your mouth was painfully dry and your head was pounding. You nudged Harry lightly and he groaned in response. 

“What?”

“I need water.” You croaked. 

“So get water.” Harry moaned, putting his head into the pillow and trying to wrap the edges of the pillow around his ears. 

“I’m too hungover,” you shook your head. 

“Fine, open your mouth I’ll use the aguamenti spell.” Harry shoved himself up on his forearms and grabbed his wand. You opened your mouth and Harry cast the spell. Unfortunately for you both, it was with much more intensity than Harry had intended and you choked on the intense stream of water that had assaulted your throat. You and Harry began to laugh as you were both drenched in water.

“I’ll go down and make some tea,” Harry said, changing his shirt. 

“I’ll meet you down there, I’m just going to take a quick shower.” You stripped and wrapped a towel around you as you made your way to the bathroom. You let your body relax under the warm water and you thought about how Hermione and Ginny had been exactly right when it came to James. He was unbelievably gorgeous and you couldn’t stop thinking about when he hugged you, when his fingers bumped against yours as he was pouring drinks, as he brushed against you as he served dinner. It was intoxicating. There was also a detachable shower head that you grabbed and adjusted the water pressure. Once it got to a setting that was to your liking, you angled it so it was spraying a steady stream against your clit. You gasped softly at the pressure and let your head rest against the wall of the shower. You tried to imagine the old things that would get you going: the ripped quidditch players, the rugged wizards from romance novels, the occasional rockstar, but then James crossed your mind. The feeling of body against yours, how you imagined his lips felt against your neck. You imagined his cock entering you, the feeling of your body pressed against the shower wall as he pounded you from behind, his large hands on your waist, his breath hot against your neck. You came harder that you anticipated and you muffled your moans in the crook of your arm. You finished showering and changed into a fresh pair of clothes before descending the stairs. You felt your stomach churn in an unpleasant way when you smelled cooking from the kitchen. 

“Good morning,” you said, sitting down at the kitchen table and accepting a cup of tea from Harry who looked just as queasy as you felt. James looked like he had fully rested after a long night of sleep. All around him potatoes were being mashed, green beans were being washed, and a turkey was being stuffed. James himself was charming a rolling pin to roll out dough for scones. 

“Good morning! How did you sleep?” James beamed at you. 

“How is it that even now in our old age, you still have never been hungover?” Sirius groaned, walking into the kitchen completely stark naked and pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“Sirius! Cover up. There’s a lady in the house.” James rolled his eyes. 

“What you haven’t seen this before?” Sirius thrust his hips forward a little and pointed at his dick. You laughed and shook your head. 

“Can’t say it’s my first time. Though it is my first time seeing a hickey there.” You and Harry both tilted your heads to get a better view of the large purplish bruise on the side of Sirius’ cock. 

“Moony gets teethy.” Sirius shrugged, leaning against the counter and taking a long sip of his coffee. Remus walked in a few moments later and rolled his eyes at Sirius, throwing a pair of boxers at Sirius’ chest. 

“Animals, the lot of you.” James shook his head. 

“Dad, did you want to go for a round on the pitch?” Harry asked, accio-ing his broom into his left hand. 

“Ah, I wish but I have to finish cooking.” James gestured to all the food around him. 

“I can cook! Go, it’s alright.” You smiled. James gave you a grateful smile and nodded,

“I’ll only be a few minutes.” 

“Take your time,” Remus waved him off, “I’ll stay and help too.”

“Cheers Moony!” James grinned, “Pads you coming?”

“Try and stop me.” Sirius laughed. The three boys scrambled outside and you could hear the chatter between them. You laughed to yourself and began to tend to the turkey. 

“It’s sweet isn’t it,” Remus said to you, “the bond between James and his son.”

“It reminds me of me and my father. I never realized how close Harry and his dad are. I always saw his mother at school functions.” You said. 

“Lily is an amazing mother, despite some of her most questionable actions as of late.” Remus sighed, “I do hope that her and James reconcile.”

“Oh,” you felt your heart do a flip-flop, “you think they might get back together then?”

“I certainly hope so.” Remus said with a sad smile. 

“I don’t.” A new voice said. It was James. He was sweaty and panting as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. 

“You don’t? Not even a little bit?” Remus quirked an eyebrow.

“No,” James shrugged, “I think Lily is an amazing person but after so many years together I think we both realized that we can be better friends apart. There’s no harm in that.”

“I suppose only you and her would know.” Remus had a pensive expression on his face but he didn’t say anything further on the subject. 

The rest of the day passed rather quickly, as you helped James prepare for the Christmas Eve dinner while Remus, Sirius, and Harry decorated the tree. After dinner you drank eggnog by the fire and listened to James tell stories about Harry when he was young and all the Marauders’ adventures. Sirius and Remus stumbled off to bed, thoroughly drunk with Sirius attempting to suck a dark hickey onto Remus’ neck.

“Silencing spell Pads!” James called. 

“Cheers!” Sirius called back, the door slamming shut and the unnatural silence of the spell taking hold. 

“It’s a little tradition in our household to open one gift on Christmas Eve.” James said with a smile. He handed a small wrapped gift to you and Harry. 

“Oh, James, you didn’t have to get me anything. The invitation was enough!” You felt your face burn but you weren’t sure if it was from the egg nog or the gift. 

Harry opened his gift first. It was a necklace with a silvery sword pendant.

“It’s beautiful.” Harry said, watching the way the pendant gleamed under the light of the fire. 

“It’s functional as well.” James stood up and extended a hand to Harry as well. “Hold the necklace by the pendant and flick your wrist.” 

Harry followed his father’s instructions and after the flick of his wrist the pendant expanded to a full sized sword. 

“Whoa! Is that the sword of Gryffindor?” You asked, scrambling up and examining the sword up close.

“Yes it is. It’s been in the Potter family for generations. Flick your wrist again.” James instructed. Harry did so and the sword returned back to it’s pendant size. Harry put the sword around his neck and gave his father a tight hug.

“Open mine!” You urged Harry, handing Harry your gift as well. Harry opened it and laughed. 

“Oh my God! This is great!” Harry grinned, pulling out a jumper that Mrs. Weasley had helped you knit. It was a dark red with a little design of a figure that looked like Harry whizzing by on his broom after a golden snitch. 

“Thanks! It took a lot of yelling from Mrs. Weasley and some tears but it’s done!” You beamed. 

���This is truly amazing. You’re very talented.” James was studying the jumper in adoration. 

“I’m so glad you think so because after I did it once I was able to replicate it and make some tweaks so happy Christmas James!” You handed James an identically wrapped package. Inside was a jumper but the design was a man who looked like James that disappeared and a stag stood in his place. You had remembered the stories Harry had told you of his father’s animagi status and thought it would be sweet. James wrapped you in a tight hug and grinned at you, 

“Thank you so so much.”

Harry gave James his gift and then handed you his gift to you. It was a gorgeous porcelain tea set that was enchanted so the bottom of each tea cup had a grim at the bottom, a silly callback to yours and Harry’s shared time in Divination. James had run out for a moment and then returned with a small box for you. It was a beautiful, dainty bracelet. James helped you put it on. You were absolutely speechless. 

“Thank you so much, James. It’s absolutely lovely.” You excused yourself to the bathroom where you investigated it more. It looked like real gold. Why would James give you such an expensive and intimate gift. You saw there was a little slip of paper underneath the bracelet. You pulled it out and read:

To my one true love, my Lily

That made more sense. James had given you a gift that he had intended initially for Lily. You would give it back to him after Harry went to bed. You were about to round the corner to reenter the main room when you overheard a conversation between Harry and James. 

“-Siphera is a lovely girl. Are you and her…together?” James asked. 

“No, no,” Harry responded, “She’s my best friend in the entire world. I’m glad you got to meet her.”

“I am too.”

You took that as your cue to re-enter the room and you nestled back into your spot and wrapped your hands around your cup of eggnog. 

“Alright, I’m going to ring Ginny before bed. G’night.” Harry gave you another hug before going to bed. 

“So James, while I really appreciate the bracelet I don’t think I can keep it.” You said, handing James to bracelet back. 

“Oh, you don’t like it?” James gave you a look of alarm. 

“No, it’s not that. I just saw this note and…” You handed James the note. 

“I, um, I am so sorry. I had gotten you a box of chocolates for Christmas but then I saw your gift and I panicked. I had bought that bracelet for Lily months and months ago and I needed to give you something better. You’ve been such a light in Harry’s life and honestly in these few short days I’ve loved having you here. I want you to keep the bracelet.” James looked at you with large imploring eyes and extended the bracelet back to you. 

“Oh, thank you so much. You have to know that Harry is my best friend and he’s been amazing. Especially after everything with my father. And I can see where he gets his giving spirit. Thank you again for having me for Christmas this year.” You became aware of how close you and James were on the couch. His hand was on your knee and his breath was warm against your face. He leaned in and kissed you, his hand on the back of your neck. His lips were soft and he was gentle, warm. You pulled away and looked down at the ground. 

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I’ve just…been lonely. But that isn’t an excuse.” James shook his head. 

“I think I’m going to go to bed. Good night.” You scrambled from the room. You reentered your room and tried to think about what had just happened. And then you thought fuck it, you deserved a little guilty pleasure now and again. And before you knew it you were knocking on James’ door, emboldened by the eggnog. 

“I’m glad you’re here. I’m so so sorry-” James started but you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him hard. He pulled you into the room and shut the door, pushing you up against the door and pulling your jumper over your head. He thread a hand in your hair and tilted your face up a little as he angled his tongue. His hand went down to the waistband of your jeans and fiddled with the button for a moment before sliding his hand down into your panties. 

“So wet for me,” he whispered into your mouth. You were going to give back a smart remark but James pushed two of his nimble fingers into your pussy. You gasped and gripped James shoulder harshly. His thumb found its way to your clit and he started on circular motions as he pumped his fingers in and out of you. His lips made their way to your neck and he was sucking hickeys on your neck that you would curse in the morning but right now all you cared about was James keeping his pace as you approached your orgasm. It hit you like a tidal wave and you were moaning into James’ mouth and begging him for something you weren’t totally sure of. 

He moved you to the large wicker bed that sat in the center of the room. You helped him out of his shirt and unbuckled his pants. You kissed down his chest, along his happy trail, and down to his cock. You took him in your mouth and he moaned lowly, 

“Oh fuck.” He moaned, holding your hair back as you tried to take him as deep as possible. You grabbed his balls lightly and released a strangled, 

“Okay! Okay, I don’t want to cum just yet.” He pulled you off of him and flipped you over so you were beneath him. He pushed himself inside you and you both moaned. 

“You’re so big,” you moaned. 

“You’re so tight,” he moaned back. He was fucking you at a relentless, unforgiving pace. One of his hands was gripping the headboard tightly and the other was alternating between your nipple and your clit. You were approaching your second orgasm of the night and with the way it was building you knew it was going to hit you even harder than the first one. James pulled out completely and slammed back into you and that was it. You orgasm hit you hard and your orgasm triggered James’. He came inside you, babbling thank yous and oh my gods. He pulled out of you and you both laid side by side, breathing heavily and fanning yourselves. 

“We can’t ever tell Harry.” You said, the icy shock of sobriety making you realize the gravity of what you had done. You had slept with your best friend’s dad. That would kill him. James was going to respond when an owl started pecking at the window. James opened the window and untied the piece of parchment wrapped around the owl’s foot. You were able to read it over your shoulder.

James, 

I made a huge mistake. Ring me in the morning?

Happy Christmas

Lily

[britany1997]

Could I make a request? It's my birthday tomorrow and I'd love to know how the boys (maybe both individually and poly) would treat their S/O on their birthday. Love your fics and HCs, so glad I found your blog!

Absolutely you can! And Happy Birthday! I hope you have a wonderful day!

I’m gonna do headcannons because I think they would work best for this request:)

Celebrating your Birthday with the Lost Boys

David:

•He’s grumpy, but he adores you

•He gives, ‘I hate everyone but you’ energy with his S/O

•He likes to seem indifferent a lot of the time, since he’s got this ‘super cool leader of a biker gang’ reputation he needs to protect

•But he cares for you very deeply

•He listens to everything you say. Everything.

•And he’s incredibly observant and always keeping a close eye on you

•So if there was something you told him you wanted but it was too expensive, or something you liked at a store but talked yourself out of buying

•He got it for you

•The craziest most extravagant things you might never have gotten for yourself

•A Cartier bracelet? It’s yours. A PS5? All wrapped up for you. A signed first edition of your favorite book? Yep. Don’t ask how he got it.

•Seriously. Don’t ask.

•He shows his love by spoiling you and he wants you to feel loved on your special day🥹

Dwayne:

•Dwayne is the romantic of the group

•He writes you the sweetest birthday card you’ve ever gotten

•It’s like a love letter to you and you can feel his adoration coming off the page

•You can see how he started out with normal sized letters, but he had so much to say that they get smaller and smaller towards the end

•He writes over and over again how much he loves you and cares for you

•He writes about how happy he is that you were born and how lucky he is to be with you

•He tells you how you’re incredibly smart, ridiculously attractive, and overwhelmingly kind

•He includes a little poem about you as well, taking the time to detail your features and compare you to an Angel or some other worldly creature

•He writes about how he genuinely can’t believe a treasure like you could love a “literal monster” like him, but he’ll spend the rest of his eternal life trying to return the love he thinks you’re worthy of

•He thinks the world of you and wants you to feel appreciated and loved, not just on your birthday, but everyday

•He signs it ‘xxxxxxx <- my kisses’

•Just to make sure you know

•He asks Laddie to sign the card too and Laddie writes about how special you are and how grateful he is for you too

Paul:

•Listen

•He is his gift to you

•He shows up to your nest with a bow on his chest and winks at you

•I said on anon to another TLB account once that I think Paul’s the type of guy to give you a cast of his dick as a present and I stand by it

•If you’re not into that though he totally respects it and he’ll get you something else

•He’ll give you tons of cuddles and hugs

•He just likes to hold you, and he knows you like to be held🥹

•He tapes a birthday hat he cut out of a magazine on to fishy’s bowl for you too

•He would also want to give you a kiss for every year you’ve been alive

•He’s like, “you want em all at once or throughout the day?”

•Every time he gives you a kiss he’ll tell you something he loves about you

•Man has no filter and is always ready to tell you all the reasons you’re special to him

•He also makes you a little coupon book with sweet little things like “good for one bear hug,” “redeem for one boardwalk adventure,” and “turn into Paul for one quiet night together at the beach.”

•There are also some..um….spicy coupons in there too (if you want them of course)

•He says those you can reuse;)

Marko:

•Marko bakes you a cake:)

•Now this can go one of two ways

•Marko makes Panettone and Pandoro for the boys around Christmastime

•When he lived in Italy, his mom taught him how to make it and he still uses her recipe

•If that’s what he does, it turns out really great and it’s super yummy!

•However, if Marko makes you ANY other cake…good luck

•Aside from beloved family recipes intertwined with childhood memories, Marko does not believe in recipes.

•He is an agent of chaos and his cooking skills reflect this for the most part.

•He also really doesn’t get baking soda/powder and how much you should add (but he’ll never admit that and look at a recipe, that’s for quitters)

•But whichever he does he makes it with love🥹

•He frosts it, writes a sweet happy birthday message in colored icing on it, puts candles on it and lights them for you

•Once you blow out the candles he’ll take a little bit of it and shove it in Paul’s face (like wedding style)

•He wouldn’t do it to you of course because it’s your birthday (but Paul is fair game😈)

•He watches you eat it with heart eyes because food is such a big part of the culture in Italy, and it means a lot to him when you eat what he makes and enjoy it

Poly:

•If you’re more extroverted and don’t mind attention, they throw you a party in the cave!

•They invite all your friends and family so you’re surrounded by all the people you love

•Marko buys all your favorite snacks and drinks

•David makes a playlist of all your favorite songs for dancing and vibing

•Dwayne and Paul are in charge of decorations

• “We need a theme”

• “Not all parties have themes Paul”

• “All the good parties do! Don’t you want the best for the love of our life???”

•They make it an 80s theme party

•And not like tacky 80s themed, actual, very authentic 80s themed party

•All the guest come in 80s themed outfits (they don’t need to change) and they put something aside for you to wear too when you arrive at the party

•They do the whole ‘make everyone hide until you come in and then jump out and yell surprise’ thing

•Then you dance the night away celebrating with your favorite people!

•But if you don’t like parties, and you prefer not to be the center of attention, they have a plan for that too!

•They steal get a projector and screen and they set it up in the center of the cave

•They pull the mattress from your nest out into the main area too and throw tons of blankets and pillows on it

•They make popcorn and grab tons of candy and soda

•When you get to the cave they surprise you with a movie night in!

•You spend the night cuddled up next to them watching your favorite movie

•If you fall asleep, they carry the mattress back to your nest (with you on it of course) and all fall asleep in your nest with you

•They love you so much and want you to have the best birthday ever:)

I hope you liked this:)

Taglist:

@ghoulgeousimmaculate @altierirose @solobagginses

[chubsonthemoon]

Finished binding @that-banhus's fantastic King of Infinite Space today! You ever get into a pairing fresh out of binging a series and read a fic that just solidifies the characters in your head? Like, they go from "funny lil guy I enjoyed watching on TV" to someone who could be real, someone you could know. That was this fic for me--banhus's Hob is such a delight to read, so vibrant and funny and optimistic. And of course Dream's voice in this is just *chef's kiss* pitch perfect.

Some process chatter, under the cut! <3

SIZE

So this was my first go at a quarto size on legal paper (8.5" x 14"), and I LOVE it. This size is perfect for that 10k-15k range, and with the community imposer designed by the lovely folks at @renegadepublishing (thank you, @simply-sithel and Cocoa!), it was such a breeze to figure out the formatting. (Printing, on the other hand, was a bit of a mess since my printer doesn't do duplex for legal sizes, but I figured it out in the end. And hey, I got a bunch of waste sheets out of it! XD)

BINDING

I did a variation of the paperback format I've seen floating around in the Renegade discord (@ashmouthbooks kindly explained it a few months ago, thank you so much!). French link stitching glued with PVA as per usual, although no tapes or mull.

The cover is made of scrapbook paper and is glued directly to the flyleaf (flyleafs? flyleaves?), although as you can see below I added an extra layer of kraft paper to give it more of a "board" feel:

The pictures in this post are of my second/author copy, with an added a half-centimeter hinge so the spine can open more easily. My first copy did not have a hinge so it's a little stiff when you open it, but it gets the job done baha. Now I know for future binds in this size: hinges are the way to go!

DESIGN (or, as I call it, VibesTM)

The first line of this fic has lived rent-free in my brain for months now: They sat at the New Inn until the afternoon melted into evening, the sunlight thickened to a rich orange, and the late crowd began to trickle into the inn in chattering groups. I remember reading it late at night and immediately sitting up and going "oh hell yeah." This fic gives me that "walking to class in the fall semester and feeling the whole world passing you by and you have books to read and papers to write but you see your friend from across the quad and they wave at you and you wave back and everything is okay, maybe, because the leaves are turning and you're going to make it, dammit, you are going to make it" vibes. So the cover paper is from one of Michael's paper packs, called "Autumn Blaze."

HOWEVER, Banhus also mentioned that the paper looks like a sandy beach, and I'm smacking myself over the head for not doing that intentionally because yes! There's a lovely lovely scene at the end where Dream and Hob are lounging on the shore of the Dreaming and are finally, finally figuring it out, and it's wonderful and so atmospheric and I am 100% going to pretend that my paper choice here was tailored for that scene specifically XD

Titling is permanent adhesive vinyl cut by my Cricut, Charlotte, with hand-drawn "bolding" around each letter done with my uniball Signo white gel pen. And since I've been trying to get better at documenting my fonts, the titling for this one was Perpetua Titling MT, and the body was my go-to Garamond my beloved.

As a bonus, here is my first go at binding this fic, but in quarto letter size instead of legal! Smol :3

And that's all for today! Thank you so much, Banhus, for letting me bind your work! It was a pleasure, and I can't wait for you to receive your copy <3

All my love!

[usamamoweek]

UsaMamo Week 2023 - Master Post

Thank you to everyone who participated, reblogged, commented, liked and gave kudos. Thank you to everyone who was a beta / cheerleader behind the scenes. This event turned out amazingly well and we are so happy to see both new faces and some old friends participate this year. (And don't forget about our "Meet the Creators" series, to learn a little more about people in this fandom)

To make sure none of the amazing works that have been created for this UsaMamo Week have been missed, we have compiled them all into this master post (in alphabetical order by the creator):

Stories:

@caelenath - UsaMamo Week 2023 - Day 4: Beach

The whole situation was any red-blooded man's dream—nine gorgeous women in swimwear, a dreamy sunset, and a legitimate excuse to ogle them from every angle.

But he had eyes for only one...

@daikon1 :

Moon Sake Bottle Action!

Somehow at a houseparty with Usagi, Mamoru feels totally out of his depth - until Minako suggests they liven things up a bit. But can an unusual talent for carnival games be leveraged into a kiss with his crush??

A Royal Audience

Once upon a time, there was an extremely self-centered mentor...

Ten Ways to Say 'I Love You'

A portrait of Usagi and Mamoru’s relationship over the years, told in letters, poems, and journal entries.

There Was Only One... Stowaway on the School Beach Trip

It was the perfect summer scheme... and then Mamoru had walked into the train compartment.

Mamoru's Anxiety: A Love Letter for Usagi!

Filling in a 'missing scene' from Usagi's Joy: A Love Letter From Tuxedo Mask - What does Mamoru think about Usagi receiving a love letter from his alter-ego?

Keyrings, and Chaos, and Gender Expectations, Oh My!

Galaxia may have been defeated, but the patriarchy is still alive and well. With some help from Sailor Moon, Mamoru has a few things to say about that!!

Fe(e)line

As Tsukino Usagi awoke one morning from pleasant dreams, she found herself transformed in her bed into an adorable kitty.

@goddessalthena :

Dear Mamo-chan

"I'll write. And I'll call," he promised. "So...I expect you to write me all the time."

"...I will," she vowed.

But only one of them kept their word.

Picture Perfect

It was a perfect day. Almost too good to be true.

Usagi & Mamoru share a few firsts as they bask in the first blush of young love.

@kaitoscarlett - The words I couldn't say

After their first night together, Usagi finds herself waking up alone in Mamoru's apartment. While waiting for him, she explores his book shelf and finds something, she probably shouldn't read.

@lilliebellfanfics :

Day 1: Kiss Game

Summary: Usagi and Mamoru are chosen as the next contestants in Minako's pop-up competitions. They expect something weird and zany like the previous ones... not a kissing game. Well, kissing or not, Usagi says bring it on.

Day 4: There was only one...

Usagi's investigating a series of energy bursts at Tokyo Dome City amusement park. With so many unknowns--what was the source of the energy? Was it Zoisite or a new enemy?--the last thing she wants to do is share a ride on the Ferris wheel with Mamoru.

Day 7: Midnight / Fireworks

"One thing I love about prompts is they get me writing for my WIPs! I bring you another scene from DFD, but this is much much later than the current arc. For reasons, Usagi ends up staying at Mamoru's place. Things get hot & steamy, and here's a scene from somewhere in the middle."

Day 5: Free Day

The Tsukino clan are about to hit the slopes as the next part of their winter competition. Usagi is a clear winner and she's excited to beat Shingo on the double black diamond and win points for her team... only Mamoru's never skied before. Shit.

(Also Christmas Markets and kissing)

@master-ray5 - Lips Of An Angel

Mamoru gets a call on his lunch break from his Ex in Japan.

@random-mailbox - Love Letter (Poem)

Poem inspired by the Stars arc in the Anime

@riverlethe - Game Night

Minako organizes (by throwing together at the very last minute) Game Night to help the senshi blow off some steam on a rare night off.

Rei picked a small red box up off the table. “‘Love Letter’?” she grimaced. “This is going to be a long night, isn’t it?”

@sailormoonandme - Year of the Rabbit. UsaMamo Week 2023

Unbeknownst to anyone else, Serenity and Endymion arrange a secret rendezvous on the beach. Manga Canon.

@speak-mnemosyne1 :

Trust

In a dark, cramped space with stifling air, something in the chemistry between two people transformed. The universe fell away and, in those seven minutes, actions had no consequences.

But this.. this felt more like Seven Minutes in Hell.

Magnolias

For the prince of Earth, there was only one girl in the entire Solar System with whom falling in love was forbidden..

Present

“Just for a year… but I may end up staying longer than that.” Mamoru tried to swallow back the words as they left his mouth. He hated lying to Usagi, hated the way her blue eyes looked up at him with oceans of love.

@spei-sidus :

Lucky Bunny

Day 1: Year of the Rabbit / Kiss Game

Forgiven

Sailor Moon is forgiven by Tuxedo Kamen for Serenity's final actions

An Ode to the Rose

Valentine's Day is coming up and the girls decide, since they weren't giving chocolates to anyone, to write love letters to give to their future boyfriends.

The Binoculars

A day at the beach leads Mamoru to ask Usagi out.

Free Day

Neo Queen Serenity goes back in time to go on a date with First Season Mamoru.

Like a Fairy

An injured Usagi leads the nijizuishou to not only replenish her energy, but also form the Ginzuishou.

Moonlight Musings

Some midnight musings for our roaming heroine.

@wishwars - Confessions Left Unsaid

At the end of Season 1, Episode 3 of the 90s anime, Usagi decides to write a love letter to Tuxedo Mask. What if Mamoru reads it?

Art:

@iiyasbssmdoodles - Day 6 - wings

@iamcharlotte88 - Three Levels of Kisses for Mamoru Chiba (artwork for @daikon1 Moon Sake Bottle Action! story)

@lilliebellfanfics - Day 2: Royalty, Day 3: Love Letters / Poetry

@mhanevision - Day 2 Royalty , Day 5 - Free Day "Barbenheimer" , Day 7 - Midnight (Happy Birthday Mamo-Chan , Day 1 - Year of the Rabbit (Happy Birthday Usako)

@mochibuni - Art for Epilogue (story Rocks in Space by @vchanny-og )

Images / Mood boards:

@random-mailbox - Day 1 - Year of the Rabbit , Day 1 - Kiss Game, Week Day 2 - Royalty, Day 2 - Sword, Day 3 - Love Letters / Poetry, Day 4 - Beach, Day 4 - There was only one..., Day 5 - Free Day , Day 6 - Wings , Day 6 - Crystal, Day 7 - Midnight, Day 7 - Fireworks

Podcasts:

@oshiokiyopod - UsaMamo Week 2023 Special Episode!

You can listen to the episode on Spotify, Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Cast, and Podchaser (links to show pages in the platform names).

[hauntedhokage]

Day 24: Love Letters

Xavier/OC

word count: 644

Xavier was a professional at sneaking in and out of a lot of things. Combat, dicey situations, the Association building, and her apartment. At this point it was second nature to turn around and have him in her kitchen fixing a snack, or dozing off on her couch with a book in hand that would need to be pulled away and marked in place a couple pages back from where he’d left it open so he wouldn’t feel lost when he returned to it. When he’d made a disappearance, it wasn’t unusual to find a letter where she’d find it easily so she knew that he was okay, just a bit busy with whatever it was he did when he wasn’t with her. 

Some were just a simple ‘had to go, see you soon and be safe. I promise to do the same’, others a bit more poetic and elaborate. A notice of his departure wrapped into a declaration of his love.

This time he’d disappeared during the night, leaving her to wake up with a note on the pillow he’d left to grow cold with his absence. 

‘Charlie,

I don’t like leaving you while you sleep, I know it bothers you when you wake up cold. Every minute away from you is lonely and cold, and I look forward to when I can be back by your side enjoying your day off. Maybe we can order in from that place you like and hide away from the world that seems to always need you when I’m trying to enjoy you. 

I’ll admit I didn’t get much sleep last night, so I might doze off a bit while we’re together. Getting to admire you while you’re so relaxed makes me happy since I make you feel so safe. You also make me feel safe, which is why I’ll be able to sleep well tonight before we go out for that undercover mission. 

I love you moonbeam, I’ll see you later’

Their custom was that if one would leave a note, the other would leave a response in a different location for the other to find. As of this morning, there were still two that he’d yet to find tucked away in her dresser and in the pocket of one of the coats that had made its home in her closet. This one would be tucked away in the book he was currently reading so he’d find it easier (she knows he’s still trying to find the missing ones since she’s always so good at finding the ones he left for her). 

‘Xavier,

You’re so busy, but you know you’re allowed to wake me up to let me know when you’re leaving. Waking up to a cold bed isn’t my favorite, but it wouldn’t be as cold if I was already expecting it, y’know. By the time you find this I’ll have already told you this, but the additional reminder never hurts since we know how forgetful you can be (don’t worry, I still think it’s cute). 

I look forward to our next shared day off, but I’d like to go out - maybe a day trip to the beach where we can spend the night and enjoy some food we can’t get in Linkon City? We’ll have to watch the sun set and the moon rise since it always makes your eyes sparkle in low lights. I know you’ll keep me warm against the cold ocean breeze - you’re really good at that. I’ll make the plans, don’t worry about that. 

Love you bun, can’t wait to kiss you when I see you next.’

Unfortunately for her, he walks in right when she’s placing the neatly folded letter in his book. He just pretends not to notice as he comes in for the usual greeting kiss before telling her he was going to take a shower. 

[steelycunt]

hello my darling fun little ask game going around…

“Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤”

would u like 2 talk abt some of ur fics…to me…

hello my love...im blushing...i do not really have very many to choose from so there'll be no deep cuts here but anything for you...tucking them all under the cut nice and snug..

lunch poems (5k) which is my most recent fic from like. ten days ago which i wrote as part of the mwpp project...very different from my usual thing but my prompt was a bookshop meetcute and it was fun writing about books and brighton's pebble beach and twister lollies and little red short shorts 💌

the son and heir of nothing in particular (23.7k) my love letter 2 r in all his freaky self-obsessed hopeless martyrdom and teenage grief...and also to national express coaches...so much fun 2 write and to fill with superfluous and trivial details that were for My personal enjoyment...loved 2 write s from his pov he is one of my favourite versions of him that ive written i think he turned out so fun and cool and pretty and just a tad embarrassing still..

and only felt good while moving (17.2k) until recently my only au...for a fest where my prompt was 'my pal'...remains one of my personal favourites despite how comparatively low the stakes are i think this is probably still the most feverish and insane ive ever managed to write them!! s in particular he's fucking rabid. lots of fun sweltering london heat and grossness...and of course i love a sad ending...

of witness testimony (16.7k) umm this one is quite old now so possible quite clunky idk i cant bear to revisit any of them once they reach a certain age but. probably one of my favourites in terms of premise this is my peter-pov prank fic...him watching s fall quite furiously in love with r over the years and all its little consequences for them...writing r/s from an outsiders perspective is soooo much fun i would love to do it again with james some day

on the issue of fever and delight (12.1k) my r-pov post-prank fic...where a few weeks after it happens when they are still not talking r/s find themselves locked alone in detention together for the evening....r kills himself before during and after about twenty million times...s grovels and is not very good at it...everyone else is tired...also has one of my favourite scenes ive ever written in it so thats fun : ^ )

thank you for dropping in my love!! this was fun 🌚🌚

[coffinkissez]

It’s your turn pookie 🫵 tell me about your favorite ships for each character 😍😍😍😍

IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED TEEHEHEHEHEH (ships underneath the read more bc lord can i blabber) also the formatting of this one turned out odd for some reason random letters r bold n I am too lazy to fix it so

heartslabyul riddle - azurid‼️‼️‼️ GUYS THEYRE SO CUTE IDK their moments in book 6 were everything to me n also this fic sold me on them they’re so cutie rahhh. special shout out to the oc I ship him with ace - adeuce r my annoying little brothers however I want the best for them n think their relationship is funny deuce - ^^^^ and also epeldeuce bc ain’t no way they went on a beach side date and thought I wouldn’t call their gay asses out 🙄🙄🙄 trey - auhmm. hhhrmmmm. well. I do like riddle cater n trey as poly but I wldnt say it’s my favorite 🥱 cater - IDEKEI 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 chronically introvert online discord mod x chronically online extrovert instagram user ITS SO GOOD GUYS (for fic recs strongly recommend anything Adverb_Slut on ao3 writes) special shout out to the oc I ship him with savanaclaw leona - malleona is funny to me but like. I don’t ship it idk. same w/ leovil they’re just comedic to me. LEONA X ROOK THO IDK I REALLY LIKE IT IDK WHY ruggie - rugs too busy getting cash to be in love /j 🙄🙄 idk I do find kalim x ruggie and ruggie x silver to both be cute jack - epeljack is rlly cute to me but other then that I’m not a fan of any other jack ships. I LOVE LOVE LOVE him and vil PLATONICALLY tho <333 oh and ig someones yuusona w him is cool or whateverzzzzz octavinelle azul - besides azurid, which I adore, I alsoooo love love love idiazul smth about those two LOSERRRSSS in love makes me happy 💕💕💕 I also enjoy him with rielle but like… my very specific interpretation of rielle that’s basically an oc 😭 jade - will y’all kill me if I just say myself bc that’s the truth. like I’m sorry guys me n Jade r so madly in love it’s actually wildly insane and crazy and we will have joint tombstones 😁💕💕😍😍😍🏳️‍🌈🙄🏳️‍🌈 we r madly in love and also both on the spectrum (which one? all) I also like siljade bc I think it’s silly floyd - FLOJAMIIIIIIIIIII 💞💞💞💞 GOD. that ship is so silly I wanna shake it like a snow globe rhhhhahahahahha. i also love FLONEI bc it’s SILLY N IDK 😭😭😭 I just like it guys. also myself sorry I’m sorry scarabia jamil - ^^^^ n I also enjoy azujami in a comedic sense but outside of that I lowkey dislike it lmao. WAIT AS IM WRITING THIS I AN REMINDED OF JAMIL X RUGGIE WHICH I HIGHKEY ENJOY TBH kalim - Again don’t have any specific ships for him, but Silver x Kalim is v v cute I would squish them my cuties pomefiore vil - alr mentioned leovil but I am also casual rookvil enjoyer I just think they’re silly. shout out to the oc I ship w him tho rook - mentioning rookvil n rook x leona again just bc they’re silly ‼️‼️ honestly love rooks lil freak self epel - epeldeuce epeljack and uhhhh SEBEPEL ignihyde idia - I think I’m running out of idia ships to mention tbh. I DO LOVE IDIASIL AUGHHH. Idk his chronically online ass is so good w so many different ppl it’s crazy diasomnia malleus - I ship him w myself duh 🙄🙄🙄 malleyuu specifically I love seeing everyone w him it’s so cute. ALSO I find mallerollo rlly funny n interesting tbh silver - silidia n siljade &lt;3 sebek - just sebepel rlly tbh lilia - LILIBAUL😍😍😍😍🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈‼️‼️ I LOVE OLD MAN YAOI GUYS /j n I also rlly enjoy him x levan n meleanor the angst is crazy and insane and I love it RAHHH. I also ship him w my oc Fleur who’s based on Flora from sleeping beauty. Also most ppl who make Lilia a bf get my support I love that old man staff trein - him x his wife ig crowley - him x meleanor x lilia only in the crowley = levan theory vargas - I ship him w an oc based on lefou from beauty and the beast ‼️‼️ sam, crewel - no ships for them :(( other neige - FLONEI ‼️‼️‼️ I just wanted to mention them again tbh. I’ve also seen cheneige which is v cute chenya - kinda fond of him poly w/ Trey n Riddle ☹️☹️ I think it’s cute rollo - ROLLO X AUGUST (vice president npc) FOR THE WIN GUYS I COULD TALK AB THEM FOR DAYS. YEARS EVEN. fellow honest - more weird silly ships I’m the second fellow x aces big brother shipper literally ever

OKKK I think that’s everyone 😍😍 feel free to leave opinions on my opinions idk

[ckerouac]

Too many books came in at the same time from my library queue, so @redheadgleek suggests a poll and yes, let’s poll! Y’all can see my… varied reading interests lol

What should I read next?

Daughter from the Dark: Late one night, fate brings together DJ Aspirin and ten-year-old Alyona. After he tries to save her from imminent danger, she ends up at his apartment. But in the morning sinister doubts set in. Who is Alyona? A young con artist? A plant for a nefarious blackmailer? Or perhaps a long-lost daughter Aspirin never knew existed? Whoever this mysterious girl is, she now refuses to leave.

The Brilliant Life of Eudora Honeysett: Wanting to organize an assisted death on her own terms, world-weary octogenarian Eudora Honeysett forges an unexpected bond with exuberant ten-year-old Rose, who drags her to tea parties, shopping sprees, and other social excursions.

Flesh and Bone and Water: André is a listless Brazilian teenager and the son of a successful plastic surgeon who lives a life of wealth and privilege, shuttling between the hot sands of Ipanema beach and his family's luxurious penthouse apartment. In 1985, when he is just 16, André's mother is killed in a car accident. Clouded with grief, André's father loses himself in his work while André spends his evenings in the family apartment with Luana, the beautiful daughter of the family's maid. Three decades later, and now a successful surgeon himself, André is a middle-aged father, living in London, and recently separated. One day he receives an unexpected letter from Luana, which begins to reveal the other side of their story, a story André has long repressed.

Geek Love: The Binewskis are a carny family whose mater- and paterfamilias set out-- with the help of amphetamine, arsenic, and radioisotopes-- to breed their own exhibit of human oddities. There is Arturo the Aquaboy, who has flippers for limbs and a megalomaniac ambition worthy of Genghis Khan. Iphy and Elly, the lissome Siamese twins. Albino hunchback Oly. And the outwardly normal Chick, whose mysterious gifts make him the family's most precious-- and dangerous-- asset. As they set out across the U.S., family values will never be the same.

Same Bed Different Dreams: March 1919. Far-flung Korean patriots establish the Korean Provisional Government to protest the Japanese occupation of their country. This government-in-exile proves mostly symbolic, its petitions ignored by heads of state as Korea's nationhood is erased. After Japan's defeat in World War II, the KPG dissolves and civil war erupts, resulting in the North-South split that remains today. But what if the KPG still existed now, today-working toward a unified Korea, secretly harnessing the might of a giant tech company to further its aims?

Unholy: why white evangelicals worship at the altar of Donald Trump: Fueled by an anti-democratic impulse, and united by this narrative of reverse victimization, the religious right and the alt-right support a common agenda--and are actively using the erosion of democratic norms to roll back civil rights advances, stock the judiciary with hard-right judges, defang and deregulate federal agencies, and undermine the credibility of the free press. Increasingly, this formidable bloc is also forging ties with European far right groups, giving momentum to a truly global movement forecasted to last long after the Trump era.

Comemadre: In the outskirts of Buenos Aires in 1907, a doctor becomes involved in a misguided experiment that investigates the threshold between life and death. One hundred years later, a celebrated artist goes to extremes in search of aesthetic transformation, turning himself into an art object.

I Who Have Never Known Men: A young woman is kept in a cage underground with thirty-nine other females, guarded by armed men who never speak; her crimes unremembered... if indeed there were crimes.

Road of Bones: Kolyma Highway, otherwise known as the Road of Bones, is a 1200 mile stretch of Siberian road where winter temperatures can drop as low as sixty degrees below zero. Felix Teigland, or "Teig," is a documentary producer, and when he learns about the Road of Bones, he realizes he's stumbled upon untapped potential. Accompanied by his camera operator, Teig hires a local Yakut guide to take them to Oymyakon, the coldest settlement on Earth. Teig is fascinated by the culture along the Road of Bones, and encounters strange characters on the way to the Oymyakon, but when the team arrives, they find the village mysteriously abandoned apart from a mysterious nine-year-old girl. Then, chaos ensues.

[batri-jopa]

Greetings from Batumi!!!🇬🇪

Here's the fifth day of my trip:

First of all - as the fan of And Then We Danced / და ჩვენ ვიცეკვეთ (2019) I was absolutely obsessed with the way "normal people" live in Georgia and I was not even hiding it. Just look at all these houses, they look so much like neighbourhood of Merab Lominadze!!!😍🥰🥹

Here is European Square and buildings that are not old but trying hard to look like they are:

In Adjarian Museum I found a sculpture ("Tbel Abuseridze", sculpted by Otar Darchia and Madud Bolkwadze) and it brings me joy to think that my picture "In Sickness And In Health" have a bit similar style!😏

Also spotted sculpture of two cranes - obviously reminding me to finally draw Merab and Irakli as dancing cranes🫣

I arrived at the beach and - OMG, "First Love", they are sooo much like Merab and Irakli in ATWD!!!😭

If you remember the guy with a heart from day before? Turns out it's a whole series:

Good message is: yes, it stopped raining!!!🥳 The weather is served with cream like desert🤭

Trying to dip legs in Black Sea turned up to be a challenge: walking barefoot on these tiny rocks hurts like hell!😬 I really regret not having water shoes... The water was warm - but the big wave threw rocks at my ankles!😫 The most agressive sea shore I've ever met😑

Batumi architecture is a story of its own - there are some buildings reminding me of either a bathhouse from Spirited Away or some postpocaliptic landscape...

...and right next to them are these:

But these below were my favorite - so colourful!❤️

I looked at some children books in a book store and... Well, upbringing in sobriety this ain't, lol😆 These are illustrations of the story ჩხიკვდა ქორწილი. There is a georgian animation from 1957 with this title and initially I was excited that I found it and it shows birds dancing georgian dances - just like my #bird version ATWD series! But in the end I liked my style muuuch better😅 Illustrations in this book are definitely more pretty and cute than in that animation!👍

And now have some random street art and cat art:

I love how somebody designed georgian letters and roman letters in the same style!😍

[sheenashifts1217]

Hi 💕

I saw your post about the shufflemancy! I think it’s really neat and was wondering if it’s at all possible to get a message from my s/o Seb?

I really appreciate it! ✨💚

-Em 💛

Hi Em!!

Seb’s message to you:

Lyrics standing out:

“Head lights shining bright in the middle of the day

Two black Cadillacs meeting for the first time

He was a good man

Loving both of them for so long

His brother said he was a good friend

The room turns

He’s not the only one who had a secret to hide”

Alright, I believe there are two separate messages for you from this song. The first one is in regards of your shifting journey. If you have multiple DR’s, that is amazing, but it’s easy to get overwhelmed with the thought and fantasy of all of those and lose focus of why you’re shifting in the first place and your sense of self. Seb and possibly a few of your other spirit guides are telling you to maybe take a step back and focus on one thing at a time. Remember it’s called REALITY shifting, for a reason. It’s is real, you are changing YOUR REALITY. Too much at once can overwhelm you and cause you to lose yourself very easily.

The second meaning of this song is literally Seb telling you, he is a jealous man. Not necessarily in a toxic way, but he definitely wants others to know that you’re his.

Also, random thought, maybe try shifting during the day, meditation may be helpful as well.

Lyrics standing out:

“The dice are loaded

The rich get rich

Captain lied

Everybody got this broken feeling

Lost every road

You love me, baby

You’ve been faithful

Now or never

Me or you

Live forever

When you’ve got a life or two

It’s moving fast

To the beach of Malibu

The sacred heart”

Okay, yes, this is also to help you with your shifting journey. You may have started shifting in 2020 or got your start in shifting from tiktok and this lead you to a lot of misinformation. Due to that, there may have been many “failed attempts” (I personally believe there is no such thing as a “failed shifting attempt”. Every time you “attempt to shift”, you shift. It may not be to your DR, but you shifted nonetheless. Remember that you’ve already shifted to your desired reality, you’re just waiting for the physical plane to catch up. Sorry about my little rant) or times of demotivation. Seb is saying to preserver. You’ve been loyal this whole time, why stop now? You have the power to become aware in your DR, you simply just have to do it. Keep finding what works for you and learning the true information about shifting.

Lyrics standing out:

“There’s an antique shop

I walked in

Two lovers laughing on the porch of their first head

In another life, you still would’ve turned my head

Read your love letters every single night

Even in a different life we would’ve been timeless

Time stood still

Time forgot

A book covered in cobwebs

They fell in love like we did

I was forced to marry another man

Runaway and left it all behind

We were supposed to find this

Like an age old classic

I’m gonna love you when our hair is turning gray

Even if we’d met on a crowded street in 1944

Something in my head said stop, so I walked in”

He wants to remind you of everything you have in your DR. (For some reason, I can see you all dancing in the kitchen.) You were supposed to find shifting. He loves you and you love him, so go to him. Remember that time is not linear, so don’t worry that you will lose him or shifting. Seb is always going to be there for you. The same for shifting, it will always be there. Shifting is an action, and your means of transportation to your DR.

Lyrics standing out:

“I’ll wait for you

Im obsessive and I love too hard

I can be needy

Tell me how good it feels to be needed

Sorry if I say sorry way too much

You can go ahead and call me selfish

I need your touch

Passionate

Good at overthinking”

Stop overthinking shifting. It is simple, you’re becoming aware of what already exists. You didn’t even have to create it. Think of it as finding a deeper part of yourself. Seb says he will wait for you, but he is selfish and needs you. Take however long you need. Seb wants you to know how deeply he cares for you and he loves you passionately. He knows he’s selfish and he’s sorry for coming off too strong in the last but it was purely out of love. When you think of Seb, think of a part of yourself that you are diving into and feel those connections and emotions. That is what will help you fully shift.

I really hope this was helpful, you beautiful soul. Please leave a review and let me know if this resonates :)

[thesugarclubs-blog]

Hooked On You - AU Bucky Barnes x OC

warnings: strangers to lovers, jilted bride, smut, 18+

word count: 11.2k

WP: https://www.wattpad.com/1308288465-hooked-on-you-sawyer

Masterlist

Seagulls quarreled above her rental vehicle. The windows were cracked halfway, letting the smell of seawater fill the inside of the car. Sawyer gripped the steering wheel as she stared at the fishing vessel moored at the creaking dock. The names Paul & Marlene adorned the side of the boat in faded red letters. Something that made her heart sink further into her gut. 

When she booked this trip she never imagined she’d be doing it alone. Brock was supposed to be with her, showing her how lively ocean fishing can be. 

Instead, he was on a beach somewhere with her best—ex best friend, doing god knows what. 

“We just don’t know each other anymore.” He told her. In front of all their friends and family as he linked hands with her maid of honor before bolting down the aisle. 

Sawyer was mortified and humiliated. Her mother sobbed and then somehow made it Sawyers' fault. It had been a long forty-eight hours before she decided that she needed a break. 

Her planned honeymoon turned now a single female trip, had been rocky. The hotel staff kept pitying her with extra perks and free meals. Even the guy who gave her a massage she squirmed through gave her a discount. 

“Not even the best masseuse could rid you of these knots.” 

She spent two days in bed after that. 

Until today. She had convinced herself that this fishing trip was going to be good for her. To be able to try something new and secretly hope it would make her feel a lot stronger than she felt. 

So here she sat, staring at the boat built by some couples' everlasting love trying to unglue her fingers grips from the steering wheel and just hoping to have a decent day. 

“Okay. This is gonna be fun…” she tried to convince herself, “cathartic maybe.” 

At least the weather was on her side, bright sunshine glistening off the water, not a cloud in sight. 

Sawyer had just killed the engine and twisted herself to reach into the back seat for her bag when a knock on the window sent her jumping, head snapping around to see a man peering in with a smile that could only be described as a pained grimace. 

“You here to fish?” He rumbled, rolling his eyes when she nodded. He beckoned her from the car with a tilt of his head and muttered under his breath, the half-assed smile on his lips suddenly a frown. 

Great, just�� yep, this is gonna be great.

"Park your car on the grass pattern over there and then come to the docs. I'll wait," he said before turning around and heading toward the boat she had seen before.

Sawyer watched the man with curiosity. 

He was wearing blue jeans and two layers of clothing. A long-sleeved navy blue Henley was on top but she could also see the hem of a dark grey shirt protrude underneath it. The shirt was ridiculously tight and she could see his muscular back almost pop out of it while he was walking away from her. This man was undeniably well-built.

The woman shook her head to bring herself back to reality, parked the car on the grass area, and stepped outside of it. The sun was blinding her so she grabbed the sunglasses out of her bag and placed them on her nose.

"We don't have all day!" came a loud shout across the creaks and groans of the dock.

Sawyer took a deep breath, willing herself to keep moving toward what was sure to be a nightmare instead of crawling back into her car and heading home. 

A home she was supposed to be sharing with her new husband. 

Tears prickled her eyes as Sawyer reached the edge of the pier, a long ramp leading up to the boat. The subject of her current frustration stood with his hand outstretched, ready to help her aboard, and she couldn't help but notice how pretty his eyes looked in the afternoon sun.

Despite her intrusive thoughts, Sawyer was hesitant, eyeing both the boat and the gloved hand in front of her. The brooding man noticed her reluctance and sighed, pressing his lips together as he took a step forward. 

"I'll never hear the end of it if I let you drown," he muttered. "And we need to get going.”

One more step and he grabbed her hand with his and wrapped his other arm around her waist, hoisting her up and over the wooden bulwark. Sawyer squealed in surprise.

“Put me down!” She snapped angrily, swatting at his sizable biceps.

"Alright Princess, relax." He said, plopping her on the deck on her own unsteady feet.

"Didn't want you ruining your pretty clothes now," he said, with a sharpness, as if Sawyer was nothing but a burden on him.

She scoffed at him, adjusting her sunglasses on her face from where his manhandling had sent them. Sawyer had felt she had dressed more than practical for a day out on the water although admittedly her sunglasses and bag were far from fishing attire.

"Princess?" She snapped, her voice sharp. She couldn't hold back the irritation. "Is this how you treat all paying customers?"

"It's how I talk to everyone," he growled and looked around, almost grimacing. His nose scrunched up and his eyes crinkled around the edges as he drew in a breath. "And I'm not the one gettin' paid-- Where's the other guy? Uh... Bob or something."

He looked far less than enthused to be there. Sawyer's cheeks flamed with embarrassment and she cleared her throat, pulling her shoulders back. She wasn't going to let this asshole, or the asshole she was trying to get over ruining her day. 

"It was Brock, and he's not coming."

An awkward silence nestled between them and the man sighed, rubbing his face with a black and gold metal hand.

"Stuck with you, huh?" He murmured under his breath. "Okay."

"Sorry to ruin your afternoon," she muttered.

"It doesn't look like it's my afternoon that's ruined," he muttered lowly under his breath but it was still loud enough for Sawyer to hear as he turned away from her while she glowered under the heat coming from the sun and her growing irritation at the broad-shouldered, tall man checking their fishing gear.

Sawyer looked around the boat it looked well-loved. She turned to the man again and sighed. 

“So… uh are you going to introduce yourself or something?” She asked.

He walked away from her and knelt down, digging in a bucket that was against the back of the ship. Carefully she followed, keeping one hand against the railing as she moved over the old floorboards. Her lip curled up in disgust, as he ripped the leather glove off his hand and rooted around in a large white bucket full of worms. The sun reflected off the sliver  He dumped a hand full into a smaller container and raised it without looking until it sat awkwardly on the long metal casting. 

"I'm not going to spend all day fishing with some nameless grouch," Sawyer said with as much confidence as she could muster. 

He turned to look up at her, the sun reflecting in the muddled blues of his eyes. "It's Bucky," he held out the hand that had been wrist deep in gunk to her. She looked down at it and realized that it was a welcome, but rather a challenge.  "You wanted a proper introduction, didn't you?"

She grimaced at him, taking a step back. “You know what? I think we can skip that part.” 

Bucky rolled his eyes at her as he stood up. He grabbed a towel that was hung over the railing and cleaned off his hand. Sawyer watched him patiently. She felt awkward being alone with him on this boat, especially since she didn’t have a clue about fishing at all.

He stood in front of her for a moment, hands on his hips tilting his head like she was some new creature he was trying to study. "So, you don't like the name princess... what should I call you, darlin?" 

Sawyer could hear the sarcasm dripping from the way he emphasized the name and it was starting to slither its way under her skin like growing vines. 

She crossed her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes at him "Sawyer is fine." 

"It's that a man's name?" He asked haphazardly before moving around her to the ropes that secured the boat to the dock. 

"Isn't Bucky a pet name?" She bit back. 

She turned to see him glancing up at her with a quirked brow, "it's short for Buchanan." He stood up, coiling the rope around his hand and elbow forcing her gaze down to the corded muscle straining against the navy blue of his shirt, "my middle name."

Bucky finished unmooring the boat and disappeared inside to the controls. Sawyer followed, for lack of anything else to do, and propped herself up in the small doorway. 

“You don’t seem like the fishing type.” 

Bucky glanced over his shoulder. 

“And what’s the fishing type, sweetheart?” 

“Big, burly. I was expecting a beard and a cable knit sweater.” 

“In Louisiana?” He laughed. And even if he was laughing at her, it didn’t stop Sawyer from noticing the way his nose scrunched and how gorgeous his smile was. “I’m doin’ a friend a favor. He’s away and I know the boat and these waters like the back of my hand so, here we are.”

Bucky started the engine and the small boat rumbled underneath her feet. Sawyer clenched the doorframe in a desperate search for stability, while her eyes widened in shock and a small squeak left her throat. 

He turned his head towards her and she could see the sun mirror in his ocean blue eyes. 

"Ready to catch some fish?" he smirked at her, obviously amused about her being so out of place.

"Yes, I guess," she answered. "Hope I can trust you and you won't kidnap me, tie me to a brick of concrete and drown me in the ocean."

Bucky furrowed his brows in confusion about her statement but turned around to watch the sea while he was maneuvering the boat out of the harbor.

"You're having trust issues?" he asked without looking at her.

Sawyer blew out a breath, moving a strand of hair out of her face. 

"Something like that," she murmured before looking back at the man driving. Holding onto the doorway and then the nearby railing, Sawyer leaned over to watch the water lap at the edges of the boat as they drifted further from shore. 

"If you're so scared, why did you even come out here today?" 

There was a hint of curiosity underneath the obvious irritation. She glanced over her shoulder at Bucky, who was no longer looking at the water ahead but staring at her intently.

“Maybe I just needed to do something a little different?” She replied, cocking her head to the side and returning his stare.

“And fishing in Louisiana is every city girl’s dream vacation, right?” Bucky said with a skeptical cough. “There’s a fair drive to the nearest nail salon.”

"You know, I paid to fish, not to receive snark from a grumpy sea princess. So how 'bout it Champ, going to show a city gal like me how to do it right? Or should I just ask you to turn back now and take my business elsewhere?" She snapped at him.

He scoffed as he continued to steer the boat. The irritation emanating from him was so palpable that she could almost taste it. A grin spread across her face. Got him. He turned his head to the side just a little and she saw his jaw twitch and clench.

"You're pretty goddamn mouthy for a city girl," he replied curtly. "No wonder Bob didn't want to come along."

Sawyer swallowed the anger that felt like fire gathering in the back of her throat.

"So, do you have friends, or is it just the fish that put up with your bullshit?" She snapped. 

He was quiet for a moment, that jaw tick coming back with a vengeance before he grinned and shook his head, turning his attention back to steering the boat.

"Man, it's gonna be a long day with you, huh?"

She snorted and cocked her head to the side.

"Hope you're up for it, Skipper."

She saw him purse his lips so thinly they disappeared the second her snarky comment left her mouth. She could've sworn steam was about to shoot out of his ears like a cartoon character with how his face turned red and his silent glare burned through her.

Sawyer tried to hold the stare down that she found herself caught in with the burly man standing mere feet away from her and not be intimidated by him even as she felt a little shiver run down her spine.

He shook his head after a few silent, fuming seconds and turned away from her, and heaved a sigh.

"Look," he started softly while staring ahead of him out onto the water, "I can take us back if you want to or we can try to enjoy the day on this lovely boat and maybe catch a fish or two."

His ocean-blue eyes fixed back on her, having lost their sharp edge. He shrugged indifferently.

"Your choice."

Sawyer took a deep breath and shook her head. She had paid for this and there was no way she was going to back out of it now. 

“Sail away then, it’s time to catch some fish,” she said.

You sound convinced," he laughed, taking the boat out further.

"Sorry, I left my pom poms in the trunk of my car, maybe when we get back I can spell it out for you enthusiastically, do a few cartwheels..." she rolled her eyes, tapping her fingers against the guard rail as she made her way to the front of the boat. The clinking of her engagement ring over the sound of the engine was a harsh reminder that she was here alone. She lifted her hand, letting the light catch the diamond, and wiggled it off her finger. 

She was bone tired of being sad, she could feel herself getting numb with every passing day. She looked through the dingy glass of the wheelhouse feeling his eyes on her as she twisted the ring between her fingers before holding it in front of her in her upturned hand. 

She closed her eyes, the diamond digging into her palm as she wrapped her fingers into a tight fist. She let the motion of the boat rock her side to side before she just started to scream, at the top of her lungs she let out every bad feeling she had. She didn't cry or say a word she just screamed before hurling the diamond ring into the ocean. 

The engine died to a soft roar and then silenced completely. Bucky rounded the helm with his hands wrapped around two fishing rods, "quite the outburst, maybe that's why Bill left," he laughed, coming to stand before her and handing her a rod. 

"It's Brock," Sawyer growled. 

"Right, I forgot we're being respectful," Buck motioned to her empty ring finger before grabbing the container of worms and slamming them on the flat steel railing before them.

"You don't know anything about me." She snapped. 

Bucky laughed incredulously at her as he pointed to the rod holder attached to the rail, "stick that in there would ya?" he asked, completely ignoring her. 

Frustration began to bubble in her chest like a screaming tea kettle. He had no clue why she was here and instead was laughing at her. Still, she followed his instruction and slid the butt of the rod into the holder making sure it didn't fall before she turned back to him. 

"You're really rude, you know that?" 

He grabbed the canister of worms and slid next to her, undoing the hook on her rod from one of the eyelets, "I've been called worse," he muttered making her huff. His eyes cast towards her, little flickers of dark green speckled in the blue as they studied her, "enlighten me then," he started as he slid the hook into the body of an unlucky worm, "what's a city girl like you doing alone in the middle of Louisiana on a fishing charter that she clearly would rather not be on?" 

Sawyer narrowed her gaze at him, annoyed that his eyes seemed to match the color of the water they floated on. 

"C'mon Sawyer, tell me so we can finally get some goddamn fishing done without you screaming at the air."

“I wouldn’t know where to start,” she mumbled. Her right hand moved to her left without thinking, jarring when her fingertips met the pale band of bare skin. 

Bucky sighed beside her, baiting his own line before securing it beside hers. 

“Maybe start with that?” He gestured to her hand, “what’d he do that made you come all this way just to spite him, huh?” 

“It’s—“ she paused, looking to Bucky and expecting to see a scowl, maybe a raised eyebrow but instead he was peering at her with genuine curiosity. 

“No one throws a pretty ring like that away for nothin’, darlin’.”

"That ring should have been the symbol of everlasting love and the connection between two people that decided that living a life together was much better than being alone. But my fiancé... well, ex-fiancé decided to leave me standing in front of the altar." Sawyer said with teary eyes while her gaze was locked with the water that was slightly crashing against the keel.

"Wow. That sucks." Bucky answered and Sawyer could hear some honesty in his voice. 

"Yeah. Big time. But it's even worse. Brock decided to hook up with my maid of honor instead. So I did not only lose one important person in my life but two."

"I am sorry to hear that." He stared at her with his ocean-blue eyes said and carefully placed his right hand on her shoulder in an attempt to assure her. Sawyer could feel her skin warm underneath the fabric of her shirt - right where his fingers were slightly wrapped around her joint.

“Yeah, sucks to be me eh?” She huffed. “I’ve lost so much I’ll be damned if I’m losing the money on the fucking honeymoon too!”

They both stood there in silence for a moment, neither really knowing what to say. With a gentle squeeze to her shoulder, he gently took her hands in his and wrapped them around the fishing pole, and helped her slot it into the holder.

“Better make sure you get your money’s worth then,” he said with a soft smile.

Sawyer stood there in silence, not sure what she was supposed to do next, just letting the burly man guide her. 

She watched him carefully, taking in the rules of the boat as he dished them out along with explaining quickly the basics of not drowning.

"You can sit, you know," Bucky told her, pulling out a folding chair for her after noticing how stiffly she was standing while holding tightly to the rod as if was all the emotional baggage she had brought on board with her.

"I'm fine," Sawyer said, aiming to prove herself to be the strong independent person she knew she was capable of being but obviously not knowing what to do.

"Sweetheart, you need to let go of some of the shit you're holding on to, otherwise we're going to need a bigger boat," Bucky said, worried she was going to somehow hurt herself.

She flashed him a dismissive scowl and snorted.

"You say that like you know me."

He shrugged and turned to her, his eyes soft and glittering in the sunlight. They were a pretty ocean blue color made even more vibrant by his Henley.

"You can only play defensive for so long," Bucky replied. "Believe me, I know. It gets old. Fast."

She shrugged and looked out at the water, watching it ripple gently. The wind blew some of her hair into her face and she bit her lip.

"Well, this just happened, so can you give me some time to brood?"

He checked his watch.

"Ten minutes sound good to you?" He asked. She laughed, not meaning to. He was really laying it on thick. Bucky winked at her. "Gotcha, sugar."

She couldn’t help but smile at his response turned to face him and saw that he was watching her before he turned his attention back to the water. She turned her face back to the water and took in a deep breath. She looked out over the water at how the sun reflected off the water creating an array of different colors. It was peaceful out here. 

“10 minutes… then what happens?” She asked.

"I don't know, no one has ever out brooded me," Bucky shrugged. 

"Out brooded?" Sawyer stifled a giggle causing his lip to curl at the corner slightly as he kept his gaze trained on the horizon.

"Cap says it's my superpower," he grumbled, tucking his hands into his pockets. "Some superpower," he chuckled looking over at her, "only seems to work when the world gets quiet."

"What you've never out brooded a bad guy," she asked the mention of Cap, the boat, the arm, the rumors. It had taken her a moment to connect the dots but he was The Winter Solider. 

Bucky didn't respond, his jaw tensing she watched as his whole back went rigid, "I didn't..." she scrambled to fix her mistake, "I have the tendency to say stupid things when I'm nervous..."

“If you’re uncomfortable we can go back,” Bucky said gruffly, his back still turned, but his face partially towards her, his jaw tight, shoulders hunched. 

“That’s not- I meant, I’m nervous because I don’t know a thing about fishing, and I don’t know what I’m going to do when I have to go home. I’m not uncomfortable around you, Bucky,” Sawyer said softly, and she watched as he exhaled, his back slowly loosening.

She watched as his jaw ticked once before it relaxed with a nod. He picked up his rod, not saying another word as he pulled it back behind his head, flicking the reel to let the line loose and casting it over it his shoulder. 

Sawyer watched as the line flew through the air, the ball of bait rolling in the wind before it splashed against the water. Her eyes flicked to him, watching as he waited for a moment. His gaze focused on the line still sinking into the depths. Before long, he flicked the reel back and locked the line in place. 

With a satisfied sigh, he set the rod back into the holder and picked her ups, handing it to her. "Ready?" 

Sawyer raised a brow, "you want me to do that?" 

"What's the problem?" He asked with a scowl. 

"Bucky, you just threw that bait a football field's length away. There's no way--" 

He shook his head, pushing the rod into her hands before moving behind her hesitant at first, but as the boat rocked them his metal hand found her waist holding them in place together. 

She sucked in a breath at the way the metal felt on the tiny bit of skin that was exposed from her shirt bunched against his palm. 

"You've got this." He said, voice low and gravelly, "and you've got me to help" 

Her skin prickled at the feel of his breath fanning against her cheek, "you're just going to hold on right here, " his hand eclipsed her own gently moving it just behind where the reel sat, "good--okay now you're going to flip the bail to release the line and pinch it with your fingers," 

"Like this?" She asked, doing her best to follow his lead while becoming acutely aware of how his body was pressed against her own. Her heart thudded in her chest as he let out a soft laugh. 

"Just like that," he praised, "now we're going to lift it back over your shoulder and as soon as you're ready, fling the rod forward and let the line go." 

Sawyer took a deep breath, steadying the nerves bouncing around within her like bees in a nest. His hand fell from where hers rested against the reel, planting it on the rail in front of them to help keep her steady as his metal fingers gently dug into her hip. When she felt ready she pulled the rod back, pausing before letting it fly forward and letting the line go with it. She gasped, watching as it flew through the air, not as far as his went, but far enough that she felt him squeeze her hip once more and mutter a soft, 

"Atta girl."

He didn’t move immediately and part of her didn’t want him to. Bucky felt solid behind her, a force of warmth and strength against her back. She wondered if he could feel the way her body prickled with heat under his touch or the way her heart was racing from the gentle praise. 

“Thank you, Bucky.” She murmured, unsure if it was for his guidance or for listening. 

“S’nothin’, you’re a natural.”

He stepped back then, fingers lingering on her hip before slowly slipping away. 

“Hardly,” she giggled as Bucky pulled a cooler from under the bench. He plucked two beers out, flipping the cap off with his metal thumb and handing one off to her. 

“Might as well settle in, sweetheart. Who knows how long it’ll take for somethin’ to bite.”

"How long does it normally take for a fish to bite?" she asked curiously before taking a small sip out of the bottle. The cold and bitter liquid crawled down her throat. 

"Depends. Minutes. Hours. Days."

"Days?" she asked shocked - turning her head in his direction. He was collapsing back into his folding chair with the biggest smirk on his face. 

"Yeah. You're stuck with me for a while, sweetheart."

"Could have had it worse. Could’ve been still stuck with that asshole Brock," she mumbled while her lips curled into a shy smile.

"Cheers to that!" he locked his ocean blue eyes with hers when he leaned forward to bump her bottle with his again. 

Sawyer couldn't help herself and feel a heat appear in her stomach.

For a few moments they sat in comfortable silence sipping their beers, the sound of seagulls faint in the distance. She picks at the label of the beer bottle as the warmth deep within fails to disappear over time. 

Sure, it was a nice gesture, but she doubted that a man like Bucky would want anything do with her. Why even entertain the idea? She was with Brock for years and he didn't even hesitate to leave. 

"Unbelievable," Bucky muttered as Sawyer's wide blue eyes flitted up to look at him. 

"What?"

He shook his head, taking a long pull of the bottle. Sawyer watched the way the muscles of his jaw and throat moved with the motion and was half tempted to turn and jump into the water for relief. 

"Nothin'," He said with a shake of his head before choosing to continue. "I mean, it's just unbelievable...a girl like you..." 

Bucky doesn't finish his thought, instead choosing to get up and check on their lines. She watched as he fiddled with the equipment before the deep rumble of his voice made its way across the deck, making her face flare up. 

"Brock is a fuckin' idiot."

Sawyer shook her head slightly, unseen by Bucky as he bent over, making sure the lines were still set. She was in turmoil she told herself. It was the only plausible explanation for the butterfly colony that seemed to have made its home in her abdomen. 

“Brock is fucking my best friend, so I guess that makes me the idiot,” she said bitterly and he turned at her words, his expression almost angry.

“Don’t…no,” he shook his head vehemently. “Don’t you dare put this on yourself”

That was easier said than done. All Sawyer had done the last few days was try to figure out where things had gone wrong, try to pinpoint the exact moment Brock had lost interest in her, and yet she hadn't found any answers.

"Maybe my mother was right, maybe I am too headstrong. She always said I could drive men off like the plague and well! Apparently, I don't just drive them off but I actually drive them right into other women's beds, and do you know how much flowers cost? There are no refunds on flowers!" Sawyer spewed without meaning to.

Bucky just gave her a tight-lipped frown. As if he was unsure of how to respond and completely unable to think of a way to make her feel a little better.

"There are plenty of other fish in the sea." He tried to joke, holding a hand out to the water and Sawyer just stared at him for a long time before bursting out into raucous laughter, wiping a few stray tears from her eyes as she did

"That was lame, Bucky," she chuckled.

"Got you to laugh, though, huh?" He grinned as she smacked him in the arm gently. "Hey! Go easy on me, I'm an old man!"

She snorted and shook her head. She could hear the water lapping at the side of the boat, the waves jostling them ever so slightly. She looked up at him and smiled. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all. A bit of a grump, but who wouldn't be? He should be off saving the world, not stuck on some boat with her. An awkwardness settled between them and he took a deep breath as he stared out at the water. Sawyer watched him for a moment before speaking again.

"I lied, it was a good joke. Thanks for making me laugh."

Bucky turned to her and smiled. It was gorgeous. Bright and beaming. She practically melted looking at it, but told herself to keep her shit together. 

"Any time, darlin'. I hate to see a pretty girl get all bent out of shape about some jerk."

Pretty? She stifled a sigh and furrowed her brow in doubt. Brock had been many things, funny, sturdy and from a good family. But he was cold, he showed his affection with gifts. It was an odd feeling having a man as handsome as Bucky, look at her and think she was pretty. Sawyer felt her cheeks warm and she angled herself away from him to hide the flush of embarrassment but he leaned in, catching her eye. 

"You act like no man has ever called you pretty," he noted and when her expression didn't shift, he hooked a finger gently under her chin and with his eyes demanded she look at him. "Never once?" he asked. 

"It wasn't his thing," she all but whispered in shame, his touch sending warm sparks through her body. 

"Idiot seems too gentle of a term now and I have about ten other names for him that aren't appropriate to say in front of a beautiful woman," his hushed, angry tone made her believe his every world.

Sawyer inhaled deeply, biting her lip and Bucky’s eyes flicked down to it. She let out a shaky exhale as she took a wobbly step backwards, his hand dropping from her chin to her waist, stabilizing her. 

“Careful sweetheart, don’t want you goin’ overboard,” Bucky murmured and before Sawyer could respond, her gaze caught on her fishing line, twitching in the water. 

“Bucky! It’s moving! What do I do?” she shrieked, stepping away from him hastily.

His laugh echoed across the water, reaching out for her just as her foot tangled in a pile of netting almost knocking her over. Bucky's hand grasped her elbow as she reached for him, keeping her upright as he steadied them. 

"Whoa there," he laughed before pulling her to the rod, "you gotta real him up, so same as before grasp it where I showed you and reel." 

Sawyer gnawed on her bottom lip as she picked up the rod. This was it, the moment she had been waiting for and suddenly her nerves felt on fire again. He stood behind her once more, the familiarity of his body heat returning to ignite the embers in her belly. 

Suddenly the rod jerked from her hand and knocked against the rail, "Bucky!!" She gasped as they both fell into the rail, the hard muscle of his body practically crushing her. 

He laughed again, the sound melodious in her ear, "hey, hey, hey, take a breath darlin," Bucky righted them again his voice calm in her ear, "we can take our time there's no need to rush this." 

She glanced back at him as he flashed her a reassuring smirk before handing the rod back to her, "Here, start reeling. I'm right here," he smiled, "I won't let you fall in."

Sawyer nodded, struggled to take her eyes of the softness of his face as she stared at him fondly. It must have shown because Bucky nudged her softly, “go on, sweetheart.” 

She started reeling the line in, genuine excitement fizzing through her as it jerked and pulled in the water. Bucky stepped into help a little towards the end, hands firm over hers until the small fish fell into the bucket at their feet. 

“Oh my God, I just caught a fish!” Sawyer beamed and before she could stop herself she was turning on her heel and throwing her arms around Bucky, planting a kiss on his cheek. 

Bucky froze and Sawyer immediately turned bright red, releasing her arms from around his neck and taking several steps back only to bump into the rail. She just stared at him with wide eyes as he held the rod in one hand and the hooked fish in the other.

She felt heat spreading through her, both from the feeling of his chest pressed to hers and the embarrassment. Bucky looked like he was trying to think of something clever to say that would break the awkward tension that had descended upon them but before he could Sawyer turned away.

She stared out at the ocean, confusion washing over her like a tidal wave and at that moment, she decided she was done. Sawyer leaned over the side of the boat and threw her leg up, trying to climb out.

"What are you doing?" Bucky asked very clearly confused.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to drown myself now," Sawyer said, making a poor attempt at hauling herself into the ocean.

"Come on now," he laughed nervously as he grasped her gently by the arm. "Don't do that."

"I want to!" She yelped.

"You wanna catch a cold? Because that's what's gonna happen if you try to jump in that water, sweets." He grinned at her, his cheeks a little flushed. Hers were too, and he flicked his head. "Come on."

"I'm embarrassed," she murmured as she let him pull her backward. 

Her body bumped up against his, the tips of her sneakers touching his boots. Her hand was pressed against his chest and she was too humiliated to move it. He still had his hand on her shoulder as he stared into her eyes. Sawyer had to resist the urge to rip herself from his grip and try to jump again, but she had a feeling he was stubborn enough to leap in after her.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because..." Her brain felt like TV static, and she couldn't think of a good answer. He dragged his tongue across his bottom lip. Her breath hitched. "It's... I--"

"I'd be a bad... what did you call me? Skipper?" He said with a smirk, his eyes lighting up. "If I let you jump off this boat now, wouldn't I?"

His voice was soft and sweet, it made her stomach knot. And the second his metal fingers reached up to gently brush away a strand of her hair, she knew she was fucked.

Bucky leaned in closer, their lips hovering mere inches from each other as she fought to control her panicked heartbeat beneath his touch. And for a split second Sawyer thought all the butterflies in her stomach might erupt from her mouth if she parted her lips to meet his. 

"Sawyer," he swallowed tightly, his jaw ticking tensely before his mouth dropped open to say more the fish at their feet flapped wildly in the bucket splashing water against her leg and arm.

Sawyer erupted in laughter and Bucky followed brushing the salt spray from his neck and cheek, "I hate fish," he grumbled through his teeth, tearing his gaze from hers to the snapper in the bucket. 

"At least we have dinner," She cooed, "that is if..." she shrugged, realizing inviting him to dinner might be weird considering he'd have to cook it. 

"First you need to clean it," he laughed, unlinking himself from her.

Sawyer wrinkled her nose. “Gross. Might need that bucket for another reason,” she grimaced and Bucky laughed. 

“Nah, you’ll be alright darlin’, I’ll help ya through it. S’nothin’ just gotta gut it and-“ he broke off laughing again as Sawyer made throwing-up motions. 

“Doing it will be bad enough, don’t make me hear about it too,” she groaned.

Bucky laughed loudly, a full-bodied response that sent his head back and showed the soft lines around his eyes and mouth. 

"C'mon, doll," he encouraged. 

"Nope, not gonna happen," Sawyer shook her head before squealing as Bucky picked it up and waved it in her direction.

Sawyer gagged, her breakfast wanting to pay her a visit, "Bucky I'm not slicing a fish." 

"It's the rules darlin!" He called, making his way around the cabin. She groaned watching as he smirked back at her. Something that she was beginning to want to see more often than now. 

She reluctantly followed as he made his way over to a cleaning station. It was covered in rust stained splotches and the smell wafted around her like a cloud of putrid smelling smoke. Sawyer gripped the railing as a wave of nausea rolled through her, rocking along with the boat. 

He glanced over, a soft smile forming on perfectly plush lips, "You're lookin' a little green behind the gills there." 

Sawyer breathed a laugh, rolling her eyes at him. "You think you're so funny don't you?" 

He pulled open the small latched drawer and wielded himself a long filet knife. Expertly flipping it in his hand before grinning at her, "I don't think, sweetheart."

Sawyer hesitantly got closer to him, feeling more than a little queasy as the fish flapped around on the table where he placed it. She nearly keeled over when he took the knife and quickly drove it through the top of the poor thing's head, ending its frantic flapping.

"Oh, wow, was that necessary?" She asked, gagging a little.

"It is if you don't want it getting away from ya." He told her, nudging his head as a sign for her to get closer.

"I don't want to," Sawyer said, shaking her head.

"You're a big girl, you can do it." He assured her, making space for her at the cleaning station. 

Sawyer couldn't tell if the anxiety in her chest was coming from the reality that she'd be ripping open a fish or from the warmth of Bucky's chest pressing against her back as he stood behind her and drew himself into her.

He placed the filet knife in her hands, guiding the other one to hold the fish in a specific manner.

"It's looking at me." Sawyer huffed, suddenly feeling very hot.

"No, it's not." He laughed.

"I don't want my food staring at me." She insisted.

"That's why we're taking the head off sweetheart," Bucky told her.

Sawyer groaned as he guided her in scaling the snapper followed by sliding the knife into the underside of its belly and then lopping off the head with another quick cut. She felt her knees give out and she fell into Bucky who caught her and held her firmly between his chest and the counter.

"Almost done." He assured her, setting the knife aside and guiding her hands into the belly of the fish to yank out its slimy warm guts.

She gagged and turned her head as Bucky chuckled softly.

"Here, I got it," he whispered as he removed her hands, able to read the fact that she was about to be sick all over the ship if she had to touch any more fish guts. She watched him remove the rest of them and fling them over the side of the boat. 

"Doesn't that gross you out?"

He smirked.

"Not much does." She grimaced and looked down at her hands that were covered in fish guts. Bucky chuckled softly. "Come on, we can wash up."

He grabbed the fish and tossed it into a bucket, carrying it into the cabin of the boat. Inside, he plunked the bucket down and headed for a small sink, turning the taps on with his elbows. Without even thinking, she squeezed some soap out of the dispenser and lathered up her hands getting in between her fingers and underneath her fingernails. Bucky did the same, both of them completely focused on the task at hand while the tension between them got thicker. She bit her lip when she went to reach for the water, her knuckles bumped up against his. Sawyer chuckled.

"Sorry."

Bucky shook his head, his eyes soft and a little darker shade of blue than they were outside.

"No, it's okay. Ladies first."

She blushed and began to rinse off her hands quickly, making room for Bucky. He wiggled his metal fingers under the water and she couldn't stop staring at his hand, and the way it felt when he brushed her cheek.

"You got a little," he gently tugged a piece of leftover scales from her wrist, his touch igniting her skin. "You know, most of the other tourists love that, the full experience," he said backing away and leaning on a small table across from her as she turned to lean on the sink. 

He cleaned the knife with a small rag and flipped it back and forth between his palm and fingers, catching the blade between his fingers without thought. It was methodical and hypnotizing, second nature to him and she watched in awe like she was witnessing something private. "How many of those tourists are women?" She asked, looking up from the blade to his eyes. 

Bucky chuckled, "oh angel, if you wanna compliment me for my looks I am not above a small ego boost," he shoved the knife behind him on the table and grabbed a large gray blanket that hung over the back of a small, ratty looking fold out couch. He nodded to the stairs, wiggling his metal fingers at her to take them, and led her back onto the deck. 

She wrapped her arms around herself as the sun started to set in the sky and tried to keep her warmth as Bucky laid out the large blanket on the back deck. She watched as he smoothed everything out, leaving only to return with two more beers and inviting her to join him. 

"Are you cold?" He asked, and without an answer hooked his hands into the hem of his overshirt and pulled it up over his head with ease. The dark shirt beneath pulled up with the sweater, exploring the hardened tanned muscles of his abdomen flexing with the swift movement.

Sawyer swallowed thickly, reaching out to take the sweater with lightly trembling fingers, from nerves or cold she couldn’t tell. 

“Thanks,” she whispered, dropping her eyes as Bucky tugged his shirt back down and she slipped the sweater over her head, snuggling down into it. She breathed in deeply, clean, spicy scent filling her nose. “You’re not gonna get cold now?”

Bucky shook his head, his arms exposed to the chilly air, metal glinting dimly in the setting sun. 

“Don’t really feel it anymore,” he said softly, eyes far away. Sawyer hesitated, then reached out, placing her hand on his, loosely holding a beer bottle.

She could feel his hand tense under her own before it relaxed and moved to settle within her own. His thumb trailed along her skin in tiny barely motioned circles. Setting tiny little fires ablaze throughout her. 

He took a sip of his beer, pointing out at the sunset with the neck. "Do you know why sunsets are beautiful?" Bucky asked, his eyes still straight ahead, the soft corners of his mouth turning ever so slightly upwards as he paused. 

Sawyer shrugged, glancing at him, taking in the sharpness of his jaw and the perfect slope of his cheekbones, "because of the colors?" She answered, unsure and realizing how childish that may sound. 

He shook his head, "because sunsets are a reset" he said softly, "they steal away the light that shines on our darkness, the things that we have to face during the day but when they go we just..." Bucky's voice trailed off. 

"get to start over," she said softly, not meaning to answer him but knowing what she said had felt right. 

This time he fully smiled rolling his head to the side to look at her, "Let today be your sunset. Reset, start over...do what you want to do to be happy. I think you've earned yourself

She could feel his hand tense under her own before it relaxed and moved to settle within her own. His thumb trailed along her skin in tiny barely motioned circles. Setting tiny little fires ablaze throughout her. 

"How about you? Are you doing what makes you happy?" 

Sawyer kept her eyes on his hands, still making patterns absent-mindedly on hers. The metal of his left arm should have been cool against her skin, but it felt warm to the touch. She hadn't even realized that he'd been using it. It surprised her that something that she knew was so powerful had such a gentle touch. 

"Considering a few months ago, I'd never have thought I'd be holding hands with a pretty girl watching the sunset," Bucky replied softly, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "I'd say I'm doing just fine." 

"Well, good," Sawyer's voice was barely above a whisper. "Because you've earned that too." 

Little frissons of electricity went through her as his eyes grew a little darker and she realized he was now staring at her lips instead of where their fingers met. 

"Sawyer?" 

Almost on reflex, she shifted a little closer. There was a comforting heat radiating off Bucky's broad body and the overwhelming desire to be wrapped in it struck from nowhere. 

"Yeah?" 

Bucky released her fingers and traced her bottom lip gently, the rough pads of his fingers giving her goosebumps as she let out a soft sigh. 

"Can I kiss you this time?"

Sawyer snorted, earning her another dazzling grin as Bucky wrapped his hand around the back of her neck. His fingers teased the baby hairs there and her body became flush with his as his grip grew a little tighter, his other hand coming to her waist. 

"I was thinking you'd never ask....skipper." 

A giggle escaped both their lips as Bucky leaned in, his breath warm on her skin.

His lips pressed gently against hers and she was surprised by how soft they were. Suddenly, she forgot all about Brock, the wedding, and being humiliated on that altar. The only thing that mattered was Bucky and the warmth that was blooming in her chest. This felt like a reset, and she began to embrace it. He gently kissed her top lip first. It was tentative and sweet, almost like it was the first time he had ever done this. But at the same time, she sensed a confidence that made her stomach flutter.

It took her a few seconds to get her bearings, but when she kissed back, she felt sparks between them. Fireworks exploded on her skin as his hands drifted up her waist, over the gentle curve of her breasts, and came to rest on her face. She groaned and let him push his tongue against hers, her heart pounding so hard against her ribs that she felt like they might crack open. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes and she kissed him back harder. Bucky pulled her a little closer to him. She could smell salt water, motor oil, and a hint of cologne on him. It drove her crazy. Sawyer felt like she was drowning and all she could do was embrace it. 

Because, for once, it felt so goddamn good to be kissed by someone who meant it.

Bucky’s hands were big but gentle on Sawyer’s face, metal holding her delicately as his other hand slid around to the back of her neck. He tilted her head back, his tongue sliding wetly against hers, and Sawyer stopped a whimper, eyes shut, tears gone but an overwhelming feeling growing inside her. 

Bucky pulled away with a soft smacking noise, his eyes dark when she met them, her own gaze half lidded. 

“Don’t hold back Sawyer, please sweetheart. Wanna hear you,” Bucky murmured, his voice soft but still pleading. Her tongue rolled over her bottom lip as she searched his eyes, "You don't have to hide yourself from me," he said.

A soft whine fell from her lips as her fingers tangled into his shirt, catching on a chain that hid under his clothes before she pulled herself to him, pressing her lips against his again. She never wanted to hide but it became habit with Brock. 

Bucky pulled back for a moment brushing back the hair that had fallen into her eyes and tucking it behind her ear, "are you sure about this?" he asked softly, "We don't have to do anything you aren't--" 

"Please," she whispered softly before giving him a quick peck, "just kiss me again."

Bucky groaned, gripping her hips tightly as he captured her mouth once more. This kiss was much less sweet, filled with the pent up desire that flowed through them both. Sawyer felt the edges of Bucky's teeth against her tongue and whimpered, searching for the hem of his shirt to reach the hard muscle underneath.

Bucky gasped when her fingernails brushed against his taut abs and a primal groan filled her ears. She couldn't help herself and started to laugh against his soft lips while Bucky continued to devour her like an animal. He broke the kiss and his lips began to trail up and down her neck.

"You're eager." His voice was a low gravelly rumble that made her shiver. She felt his warm breath on the shell of her ear. "I like that."

Sawyer tugged desperately at his shirt and he chuckled.

"You want this off, you've gotta ask."

"Fuck," she laughed. "Sorry."

He pulled back, his eyes sparkling. 

"S'okay." He paused and gave them both room to breathe, but not enough time to come down. His metal thumb ghosted across her bottom lip. Her other hand reached up, raking down his massive shoulders and chiseled biceps. Bucky was taking his time. "Tell me what you need, darlin'."

"You." 

"Are you sure?" He asked. "Because I've been thinking about this since you tried to jump off the damn boat."

She nodded eagerly, tugging at his shirt. 

"Never been more sure in my life."

“Then let’s get this off,” Bucky said, hands joining hers in pulling at his shirt until it was over his head and he could drop it to the floor of the boat. He moved suddenly, hands gripping her waist, and hauling her up and over him, so she was straddling his lap. “Still okay?” he asked when Sawyer gasped. 

She grasped the chain, a pair of dog tags around his neck, and pulled him closer, lips an inch from his. 

“Never better,” she whispered as she ground down, a groan tearing out of Bucky’s throat. 

Their lips crashed together, both of them surging forwards, teeth nearly clacking as tongues pressed into each other, lips bruising. Bucky’s hands were tight around her hips underneath his sweater and her shirt, making Sawyer feel like she was burning up.

Her hips rolled against his own while her heart thumped in her chest. Kissing him felt like the calm after a storm while the air between them crackled like lightning. Excitement flooded her veins while lust covered her in goosebumps as his hands roamed her skin. 

Sawyer's skin burned and the clothes she had on felt suffocating. 

"Off," she breathed against his lips, her hands finding his as she led them to the hem of the sweater and her shirt, "help me?" 

Her voice was soft, making him groan as his own hips met hers. In one swift movement, he tugged his sweater and her shirt over her head before pulling her into the warmth of his chest.

Her head fell back as Bucky left warm, wet kisses along her jaw and down her throat. Every few touches came with a bite as he sucked and pulled at her sensitive skin. Sawyer wriggled in his lap as her thighs started to grow sticky with her arousal, soaking her underwear. 

When Bucky's attention came to the swell of her breasts, he leaned back. His hand held her waist tightly as he snapped the clasp of her bra.

"Holy shit," Bucky whispered breathlessly as his eyes flitted quickly over the pale skin exposed to the evening air. 

Sawyer felt the burning in her core flood into her face, embarrassed at his gaze. She brought her arms up to cover herself, but Bucky's hands came up quickly to catch her wrists. He held her hands between them, watching her with an intense stare before letting go. 

"Don't you fuckin' dare," he growled and Sawyer felt tears prickle her eyes as his head descended to take one peaked nipple into his mouth.

She moaned as he flicked her nipple and tugged on it gently with his teeth. Fire rushed down her spine, ripping through her and scorching her skin. Suddenly, the cool air that drifted up from the water wasn't doing enough to soothe her. Sawyer whimpered and began to roll her hips in desperation. She needed something, some kind of friction or she was going to fall apart. Bucky released her nipple with a soft pop, his eyes piercing hers. He cupped her face in his hands.

"You're the most beautiful goddamn thing I've seen in years." Her face burned and she tried to look away but Bucky held her gaze. "Whoever told you otherwise is a fuckin' idiot."

"I need you," she breathed.

He nuzzled against her throat, his stubble scratching her skin and forcing a moan to spill from her lips. It was almost as though Bucky could sense her desperation and nipped at her earlobe as she continued to soak through her underwear. He gripped her by the waist and repositioned her so that she was straddling one thick, muscular thigh. Instantly, her hips began to roll and the pressure on her clit was enough to make her moan. He smiled.

"Atta girl," he breathed as he placed gentle bites along her collarbone. "Take what you need, sweet thing."

Sawyer whimpered, her hands lifting and wrapping around the back of his neck, gripping the short hair. 

“Bucky…kiss me,” she begged, hands sliding further into his hair as he lifted his head, bringing their lips together. Sawyer kept moving her hips, Bucky helping her when her pace began to falter as whines leaked from their joined lips. 

Bucky pulled away, Sawyer gasping as her orgasm started to build. She was sliding through her slick underwear as she rolled her hips faster. 

“C’mon pretty girl, you can do it, let go for me,” Bucky whispered, their eyes locked.

She could feel his fingers dig into the soft skin around her waist, letting her take control but a heated reminder of the way his skin felt against her own. 

Her toes began to tingle as she tugged on his hair, dipping her head and burying her face into the crook of his head. Her breath panting against his skin as she whimpered and writhed. 

"I've got you, Sawyer," he groaned. 

"Bucky!" she moaned, falling over the edge of the euphoria building within her. Their bodies swayed with the rocking of the boat as she came down from her high. A quick squeal left her lips as he flipped them over, laying her onto the blanket before settling between her thighs. 

He leaned into her, nipping at her jawline before dragging his tongue down the column of her throat and through the middle of her breasts to her stomach making every nerve in her body light up like Christmas lights.

When the coarse hair of his jawline rubbed her stomach, Sawyer couldn't help but jump with a yelp. 

"Sorry," she laughed. "Ticklish." 

Bucky just grinned before rubbing his cheek against her, soothing the tingle with his tongue. 

"I'll remember that for next time."

He grabbed the waistband of her jeans, snapping the button before pulling the denim off. Her hips rose up as he moved and he leaned down for another nip at her side. 

"Next time?" Sawyer breathed, trying not to sound too hopeful. 

Bucky's eyes sparkled as he pulled her panties down, the soaked fabric clinging to her skin. He groaned and swiped a finger through her cunt, collecting the slick gathered there.

"You're insane if you think I'm not fucking you again," he laughed. 

"Asshole," she growled before letting out a deep moan when his tongue replaced his finger, drinking her down. Her eyes fluttered open as he sucked on her clit and for a second it was like the Louisiana stars were on fire.

"Oh God!" She whimpered. "Fuck, I take it all back!"

He chuckled, groaning into her cunt as he lapped at her. Her hands wove in his dark, messy hair. She loved the way his stubble felt against her inner thighs, and her hips began to roll like waves crashing against the shore. She could barely breathe, but she didn't care. All she could do was stare up at the sky and watch the stars linger above them, quickly replacing the sunset. The moon hung low in the sky, bathing them and the water in a beautiful golden glow. She whined and wiggled against him, but Bucky always seemed to find the perfect spot. He looked up at her as her cheeks blazed and smiled. 

"You want my fingers?" He asked.

She could only let out a soft whine. He smirked and licked her slick from the fingers of his right hand. 

"Use your words, pretty girl. Regular, or metal? Dealer's choice."

"Metal," she practically sobbed. "Please, God, metal."

Slowly, he pushed his fingers inside of her as he smiled and her high-pitched moan echoed through the night sky. Bucky was still smiling as he dipped his head to bury himself in her cunt one more time.

"As you wish."

Sawyer cried out as he spread his fingers and licked deep into her cunt before pulling back and fucking his fingers into her. They slid along her walls, rubbing her spot and Bucky pressed his lips to her clit in a filthy kiss, sucking on it and flicking it with his tongue. 

“Oh god, Bucky…please, I want you in me,” Sawyer begged, and she could feel him grin against her. 

“But I am in you doll, can’t ya feel me?” he asked, thrusting harder and making her keen. 

“Yes! Fuck, Bucky, I want- I want your cock,” she moaned, Bucky responding with a growl. 

“Gimme one more pretty girl, then you can have it,” he grunted, crooking his fingers and moving them faster.

Her back arched off of the blanket as she let out a noise that she'd never heard herself make before. The intensity of her orgasm hitting her like a freight train as he worked her through it. "Oh my god!" she all but screamed. 

"That's my girl" he groaned, licking every ounce of her up and slowing his fingers. Moving them in succession with the gentle roll of her hips. Bucky dragged his lips along the insides of her thighs, causing her to squirm under him. 

Her chest heaved as she looked down at him, his shoulders pinned and beautiful as dark eyes gazed up at her, the blue she'd fallen into now just a small ring around the lust that had filled them. 

He pulled his fingers from her, licking them clean before kneeling between her thighs. "So fuckin' gorgeous," Bucky growled as she sat up to reach for him, her fingers making quick work of the top button on his jeans. 

"I need you," she urged tugging at the denim.

Bucky yanked the tight fabric from his thighs, along with his boxers. As he rose up to meet her waiting lips, Sawyer gripped his cock firmly in her hand. He groaned as she stroked the smooth skin, his eyes fluttering closed. This giant of a man falling apart was the prettiest thing she'd ever seen. 

"Sawyer," he groaned as her thumb ran over the tip of him and he twitched in her palm. "I'm not gonna last if you keep it up, sweetheart. Wanna take my time with you."

Each word came out as a soft pant as she increased her motions, kissing him softly. 

"Next time," she said with a smile. 

He groaned, letting her continue before pulling her hand away abruptly. His hips rocked into hers and the tip of his cock pushed against her core, making her moan.

"Fuck," he groaned. "You've gotta be kidding me, sugar. You're soaked."

She chuckled and pushed him a little deeper inside of her, feeling that familiar sting that made her sing his name like a hymn to the empty sky. Bucky grunted softly, dipping his head to bite down gently on the soft, sensitive skin on her throat as he pushed deeper and deeper.

"Fuck, you're big," she laughed.

"Thanks," he chuckled.

She couldn't help but laugh with him as he dragged his lips along her jawline and then kissed the tip of her nose, pressing his forehead to hers. It was so easy between them, nothing like the tension from earlier in the afternoon. Sawyer didn't know what happened or when it changed, but if this was the real Bucky, she wanted to see him again. When he bottomed out, she gasped and he kissed her forehead.

"You're okay," he whispered. "Wrap your legs around my waist-- fuck, that's it."

His hips began to rock a little faster and she dragged her fingernails down his back. Bucky whimpered and fucked her a little deeper, hitting that spot that she didn't think a man had touched since college.

Sawyer inhaled sharply as he hit that spot again, and she clung to him. Her face was buried in Bucky’s neck, her nails digging into his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around her back, forcing her into an arch. 

More whines slipped from her clenched teeth as Sawyer tightened on Bucky’s dick, his hips tripping forwards and grinding deeper, stretching her to her limits. 

Sawyer felt full like never before, and she gasped as Bucky pulled back, exhaling a moan as he thrust back in, pace steady and powerful, her orgasm rising inside her quickly.

“Holy shit," she laughed against his shoulder as the tingling began to spread through her once more. 

"Come for me, Sawyer lemme hear you. Let go." 

His hips pounded into hers, her heels digging into his back as she came harder than she could ever remember. She was pretty sure nothing would ever top this. 

Her nails left red marks on Bucky's tanned skin and her cry echoed across the water. Groaning, Bucky grabbed her hips as his pace became less steady, more erratic. 

"Bucky," Sawyer whined softly, raking her nails through his short hair and making him whimper. "Please."

The pleading tone in her voice seemed to be the final straw as Bucky filled her up, his hips rocking steadily until the throbbing subsided for them both.

His head dropped, buried in the crook of her neck. All she could hear was the sound of their own raspy breathing as he pulsed inside of her, his body continuing to tremble and jump long after she thought his climax had subsided.

"Are you still..."

He nodded and began to laugh.

"It's been a while." He kissed her neck, dull teeth gently scraped against her skin. "And you're so damn pretty."

She held him close. There was a kind of intimacy between the two of them that Sawyer hadn't felt in a long time. The water lapped against the boat and she felt peace nestle into the space in her chest that was once occupied by betrayal and anger. She smiled, remembering the sunset as Bucky's lips traced along her jaw and she listened to his gentle, rumbling voice. A reset. That was what this was. 

"Can I see you again?" He asked as he pulled back. "I'm not a one night stand kinda guy."

"After that? I think you might be stuck with me, Skipper."

He giggled, kissed her softly, and pulled out of her. Bucky grabbed their clothes, helping her dress before he pulled his undershirt over his head. Sawyer went to give him back his Henley and he shook his head. She smiled and wrapped them both in the blanket as the two of them stared out at the water. He grabbed her hand and gently kissed the tips of her fingers. There was something in his eyes, a question that Sawyer wanted to pry out of him. She just hoped it was the same question she had lingering on the tip of her tongue. Finally, Bucky spoke.

"Sam's got this, uh, cookout thing that he's doing this weekend. I was thinking maybe we could spend some more time together... walk along the water. Just you and me?"

"That sounds great," Sawyer beamed as her cheeks flushed. "Sounds like a date, actually."

He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, a big grin on his face.

"Well, I wasn't gonna say it, but if that's what you want--"

"It is." She nodded. "It definitely is."

Bucky beamed.

"That's what I was hoping you'd say."