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like-a-gutted-fish · 29 days ago

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i am a child.

i am forced into a dress. makeup is smeared onto my face. i kick and cry and beg, but they will not stop.

i am forced to pose in front of the camera with my thighs together and hope that the makeup hides my tearstains. i must be the perfect picture of femininity; innocent, untouched.

i already have a thousand hand prints on me.

'all men are evil rapists', i am told.

i think about my friends, who are men. the men who called me every day while i was in a psychiatric hospital. the men who walked me home when i was afraid. the men who protected and cared for me, without ever expecting my body in return.

it can't be the body that makes someone evil. it can't be the presence of a penis that makes someone evil. but it can't be the identity of 'man' that makes you evil, either.

i ponder the difference between the men who raped me and the men who protected me. i decide that it depends on who the person is inside, and not on their identity.

'sit down and shut up,' they spit at me. 'the men are talking. learn your place. don't speak over us.'

'you throw like a girl.'

'you run like a girl.'

'girls can't do this. they're not smart enough.'

'girls aren't strong enough to do this.'

over and over, such sentiments are tossed at me. i bite down my anger, because women aren't supposed to yell or get angry. if i get angry, that makes me a hysterical bitch.

'women are meant to be mothers,' i am told. they beat it into me that my worth lies not in my personhood, but in the womb between my hips. it makes me feel sick and violated, just like every sexual assault has.

i am groped. i am raped. i am assaulted.

it's my fault, i'm told. i'm a temptress. my body is a vile weapon, a weapon created to tempt men into sin, a weapon that makes me a subhuman toy.

i am treated like a toy. as i am molested during my childhood, i learn that i am a toy. the anatomy between my hips has marked me as public property. i am less than human.

they keep forcing me into dresses. they keep forcing me into makeup. no amount of protesting makes it end. i grow to loathe femininity and the violation that always seems to come with it.

i come out as a trans man at fifteen.

'can't you just be nonbinary?'

'can't you just be a tomboy?'

'i don't want you to regret this.'

'i don't want you to ruin your perfect body.'

'men are disgusting. why do you want to be one of them?'

'are you sure you don't just want to be a man because you were sexually assaulted?'

i continue to be a man. my parents intentionally delay my ability to go on testosterone. by the time i am able to go on testosterone, i have already finished puberty. my body is irreversibly feminine.

people throw food at me. they call me a faggot, a tranny, a dyke. they kick me and shove me to the ground. they cyberstalk me. they post pictures of me online so that they can mock me.

a girl says to me, 'you need to learn your place,' as she calls me a faggot over the internet. she kicks me when she sees me the next day.

my boyfriend when i am fifteen is a cis man who says he is pansexual. he dismisses me when i talk about being trans, because he uses he/they pronouns and 'understands it'.

he sexually assaults me repeatedly. i am in constant distress. my distress is used as proof that i am a snowflake hysterical tranny. i am a hysterical woman who only THINKS she's a man, and i need to be put in my place. trans 'men' are all hysterical and overreactive, and my behaviour is used as proof.

my boyfriend exclusively refers to me with they/them pronouns. i tell him to use he/him. he waves his hand, dismissing my words, and says, 'they're basically the same thing'.

he tells me that he wants children. i try to ignore the sick feeling in my gut.

he only uses he/him pronouns for me after we have broken up, when he is trying to paint me as abusive. i lose my entire friend group because of it.

people keep talking down to me. when i go on testosterone, cis men try to explain that it's toxic for me, using cis man bodybuilders as an example. i try to explain how that isn't the case. they insist that 'female bodies aren't built to handle testosterone'. i try to explain to them how hormones work, and they laugh and roll their eyes.

silly girl. stupid girl. she doesn't know what she's talking about.

people continue to make fun of trans men online. our music, our art, our interests, our fashion sense, our names. i cannot help but feel dejected. all i want is to be a man, and to fit in among everyone else, but even in doing so, i stand out as a target for mockery. misogyny is inescapable, even for men.

i am seventeen years old. my worst fear comes true. i am raped and forcibly impregnated, with the intention of forcing me to detransition.

that sense of violation is impossible to truly describe.

my reproductive system was designed to become pregnant. my body will do its best to become pregnant, no matter what i want. pregnancy is an inescapable function of my body, and it makes me feel trapped and sick.

the man who raped me has turned my own body into a weapon against me. even in my body, my own flesh and sinew, i am not safe.

i miscarry. i am in agony. my womb cramps and i try not to pass out.

i enter feminist spaces. i try to talk about my experiences with misogyny.

'sit down and shut up,' they spit at me. 'the women are talking. learn your place. don't speak over us.'

all trans men have male privilege, you see, without exception. by the mere act of wanting to become a man, i have become a traitor, and i am thrown to the cis men.

the cis men, who see me as a woman that they're finally allowed to abuse. finally, they can hurt and rape and impregnate a woman, because she's one of those snowflake trannies and she needs to be put in her place.

i bite down my anger, because trans men aren't supposed to yell or get angry. if i get angry, it's proof that i'm not a man, that i'm a hysterical bitch, and that i'm a dangerous snowflake tranny seeking to mutilate children.

the sentiment is bitterly familiar.

#anti transmasculinity #transandrophobia #transmisandry #< i have seen a lot of words going around to describe transmasc specific oppression #and i am not sure which one i am supposed to use #sorry

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cinnamorollcrybaby · 3 months ago

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Mama, I’m in love with a criminal

Tags: Sukuna x fem!Reader, no curse au, dead dove, violence described including murder, dark romance, use of y/n, descriptions of mental illness.

Synopsis: Sukuna’s talking to his therapist in jail about you. He’s incarcerated because of you, and his obsession is concerning.

An: Yeah idk i thought of this while I was driving to work one morning.

Session one. | Session two. | Session three. | Session four. |

His large frame laid lazily over the couch, clad in an orange jumpsuit. He had his feet propped up on one side, and his head was propped up on the other side in a far too casual manner. His naturally pink hair pushed up near the front, messily so.

He was still cuffed and shackled, but the therapist was still afraid of him. To the therapist’s credit, he had read the warrant that went into viscous detail of Sukuna’s crimes.

Normally, the therapist wouldn’t read the inmates warrants due to situations like these. He liked going into sessions with an open mind, but he had gotten warnings about Sukuna… how the man can fly into a blind rage like a switch on the wall.

He was brutal, unforgivable, inhumane.

Simple counseling wasn’t going to “fix” a broken human like Sukuna. The therapist knew this, but the state mandated that Sukuna undergo weekly counseling sessions per his sentence.

Sukuna could taste the therapist’s fear, and he let out an earnest laugh. “You don’t even want to try to fix me, do you?” He asked tauntingly with a lopsided grin. “I don’t blame you. Don’t feel bad~”

The therapist swallowed the lump in his throat, and he adjusted in his seat. “I can’t fix anyone… Counseling isn’t about fixing.. It’s about moving forward and learning how to live.”

“Bullshit.” Sukuna spits with shrug. “Counseling is about focusing on the past and letting shit hang you up for far too long. I guarantee you that you’re going to ask me about how I got here, is that right?”

The therapist is shaking like a leaf at this point. “Our past can help us navigate to a better future.” He murmured out weakly.

Sukuna roars in laughter, causing the therapist to nearly jump out of his seat. The pink-haired felon doubles over as he laughs hysterically. “You’re a funny guy. Fine. You really want to know how I got here? I’ll tell you.”

After a deep breath and wiping away a fake tear, Sukuna goes on, “You know, teachers always believe that pairing the troubled kids up with the good kids will inspire them to act right. That shit never works.”

“I think that’s when my ‘type’ developed. My bitch of a second-grade teacher assigned me to sit next to this frail meek girl after I got in trouble one too many times for terrorizing the other kids. She was a real stick in the mud.” Sukuna laughs fondly, a rare genuine smile on his face.

“Y/n?” The therapist asks, remembering your name from the warrants.

Sukuna’s red eyes snap over to the therapist with an almost predatory gaze. His hands visibly curl into fists. “Say her name again, and I’ll splatter your blood all over this room. The officers won’t be able to pry me from you, deeming you to be a lost cause.”

The therapist freezes as the breath hitches in his throat. His eyes dart toward his panic button, knowing he should probably press it now, but he’s frozen in fear.

“We’ll call her mouse.” Sukuna goes on as if he didn’t just threaten the poor guy’s life in brutal detail.

“Mouse was a real challenge. I for some reason made it my mission to get her to talk to me, but she always stayed silent — only answering me with simple head gestures.” He laughs again, lying his head back further as he’s replaying the memories in his mind. He can remember you vividly and how you looked back then. He yearns for that feeling again. The feeling of seeing you for the first time.

“I can’t exactly tell you when the challenge started to border obsession, but she slowly slithered her way into my brain. Even when I wasn’t in school, I thought about her. I wondered what she sounded like, wondered why she wouldn’t talk to me, wondered why she looked at me like that.”

The therapist furrows his eyebrows. Even though he doesn’t feel safe in this session, and he doesn’t trust Sukuna at all, he has a hunger for knowledge, and he loves solving things that have to do with the human psyche.

“Looked at you like what?” The therapist dared to ask.

Sukuna stayed silent for a moment, and he tapped his finger against the back of his hand. His face hardened as he found the words he was looking for. “She looked at me like she had no preconceived notion of me. Her eyes… were so big and round. Even though she didn’t talk to me, it was like she accepting of my presence.”

The shackles jingled as Sukuna rubbed his face in a stressed gesture. Remembering you was like a double edged sword. He loved thinking about you, but he hated being reminded that he was without you.

The therapist eased in his chair. There was actual emotions underneath all those tattoos, thick skin, and muscle. The media had portrayed Sukuna as a complete narcissistic sociopath, but this was proof that diagnosis was false.

“I bothered the shit out of her for years, continually getting myself paired up with her.” Sukuna grinned, shifting the conversation back in a direction that he was more comfortable with, “I remember those asshole kids always called me her shadow because I followed her everywhere. Jokes on them.”

The therapist shivered as be remembered a chilling detail from the warrants. Each time a victim was found, a message was written in the victim’s blood.

-ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱʜᴀᴅᴏᴡ

His victim’s - their deaths were like an homage to you.

“Were the kids ever… assholes to mouse?”

Sukuna’s jaw visibly tightened. He loathed this therapist’s questions… thinking he knew everything just because you and Sukuna were misunderstood kids.

“They called her weird for not talking.” Sukuna recalled as he bit his inner cheek. His eyes glared to the wall in front of him. “Now look at who can’t talk.”

Sukuna’s first victim. He didn’t start out with murder. He started out with stapling your bullies mouth shut for taunting you. Everything was for you. Everything.

He held a kid down to the teacher’s in third grade, grabbing a stapler, and he pressed it down one by one into the kids lips, binding them together. The kid couldn’t scream or cry for help, or else he’d risk ripping the flesh on his lips.

The teachers found the kid and immediately knew the only kid sadistic enough to go through with such an act was none other than Sukuna.

“Did mouse witness you do that?” The therapist asked, genuinely intrigued by Sukuna’s narrative. For being a ruthless criminal, he was a wonderful historian.

“No. Why would I scare her like that?” Sukuna’s voice was tense as he eyed the therapist carefully, as if he was waiting for him to say the wrong thing.

The therapist clicks his tongue in surprise, and he looks like a deer in headlights. “Scare? No.. no, I thought you’d maybe just show off what you did for her.”

“I’m not the type to show off.” Sukuna answers flatly, and the therapist wonders if that’s the first time Sukuna’s lied during this session. He knows that Sukuna likes to show off. The warrants prove it.

“Anyways, I wore her down over the years. She didn’t speak to me until we were in sixth grade.” An eerie smile curls on Sukuna’s lip. “I can still remember her first word to me and how she said it…”

The therapist leaned in, curiosity getting best of him.

Sukuna smirks, knowing he has the therapist interested now. “Her first word to me was a plea. A word to show her undeniable want. Her first word to me was please.”

Bang! Bang Bang!

The therapist literally flinches out of his chair from the heavy knocks at the door.

“Ryomen! Your time is up!” The officer yelled on the other side of the door.

“Pity. I was beginning to have fun.” Sukuna remarked as he stood up from the couch. The shackles jingled as he walked toward the door, and the door buzzed, letting him out. “See you next week, doc.”

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfic #fanfic #drabble #jjk sukuna #sukuna x y/n #sukuna x you #jujutsu sukuna #sukuna ryomen #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #sukuna #jjk ryomen #ryomen x reader #jujutsu kaisen ryomen #dark romance

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inkskinned · 10 months ago

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how odd, to watch the creative writing exercises of angry men in the comments of instagram. you noticed it first in the comments of conventionally attractive women - but then it started appearing everywhere else, too.

a young man talks about what lunch he's packing his wife. there is a little story under it, with 300 likes, fabricated from nothing. "this is pointless. if you treat her like this, she will take the lunch to her office and fuck her boss and divorce him and take all his money."

you scroll. a young woman talks about what lunch she's packing for her husband. it is always uglier when the subject of the video is a woman, you've noticed. "you sit on camera and you smile and you are cheating with the neighbor and then you're going to lie about being sexually assaulted by your husband and -"

you stop reading. it has 567 likes.

where did this even become a thing? people making up stories in their head, disgusting long-winded assumptions about intention and sexual disgrace. the evil twin of fanfiction.

like - it's just a lie. it's a lie that they are telling, baldfaced and assumptive. the undercurrent is of course misogyny, but the trouble is that they're so fucking certain. that's what makes the hairs on the back of your neck rise. there is this pervasive, inventive desire for them to be right. that they must be right. all women are cheating, lying, gold-digging bitches. no exceptions.

in the reverse, when women say i'd rather meet a bear in the woods than a strange man - men funnel in from the sides. they defend each other with a vibrance and capacity for empathy you wish applied to like, the other half of the population. a man could be saying i absolutely did kill her and these creatures in the comments would rise up with king shit. she made it happen. they love each other to the point of this sick strange self-gaslighting, a fervent and unhinged cognitive distortion. all men are good, wonderful people. all women are terrible, conniving, seditious, annoying.

and when did it become okay to just, like... say that kind of a thing? at one point, you find yourself typing out a witty and snappy retort. why are you spending so much time fantasizing about other people babe. but as you stare at the screen, some part of you pictures this man in public, saying these things to your face. his soapbox, high and mighty. his mirrored sunglasses and his empty life: tired and lonely.

what a sad and horrible loop he's locked in. he is terrible to women, so women don't talk to him, which he uses as an excuse to act more terribly. he blames this "failure" on women, rather than on his behavior. it cannot be that he is the problem (that the solution is to just put his ego down and accept women as equals) - he begins to invent a sculpture to replace the flesh frame of each person he sees.

it isn't just a woman posing on the beach. it is now a slut with a desperate need for each person to crave her body. it isn't just a woman yelping with surprise during something upsetting. it is a hysterical, unhelpful cretin who will probably make things worse instead of better. it isn't a person.

someone's very sweet wedding vows get moderate attention on instagram. in the comments, a man says good fucking luck you'll waste your life providing while behind your back she's absolutely fucking the best man. this will be so cringe in 2 months when she walks out on you.

you think - is that what you need to be true? is that what you need to happen, for the world to make sense to you?

#writeblr #every time i see these little creative writing projects i see red lol #girl go write a novel or do ur homework or something.#if youre gonna lie on the internet at least stop badgering women. do it in the privacy #of your poor sad reddit boards

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unlimitedbutchworks · 3 months ago

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transfem: it’s kind of unfair that transmisogyny is so normalized and seen as default and okay that I can’t talk about the (trans)misogyny and harm I experience from the lgbt community and other trans people without a bunch of people coming out of the woodwork to say it’s impossible for them to hold any kind of power of me and that im evil

most well adjusted trans guy: You know what? Fuck this. Fuck you. I’m not going to fall for your manipulations you stupid bitch. As someone who was born as a female and misogynistically grew up with society’s pressures and expectations to be a woman (femalely), I’ve always had to stand up for myself. You are literally killing us by saying you’ve been hurt and wish that people would challenge and grow past their transmisogyny. Saying trans men can access some male privilege is intentional, brutal violence. You wouldn’t get this but I learned as a teenage girl to be resilient, that I don’t have to listen to hysterical cunts like you. I won’t detransition just because you think boys are gross or whatever, filth.

#and then everyone goes wow it’s crazy how trans women are misogynists #kvetching

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bernardsbendystraws · 21 days ago

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𝑮𝒐 𝒑𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 .ᐟ.ᐟ.ᐟ

synopsis: Chris is a stupid bitch.

warnings: traumatizing fluff but just funny random shit ? violence lmao. PISS OBVIOUSLY LMAOOOO

A/N: Doll .ᐟ Reader x Matt | Bunny .ᐟ Reader x Chris. I cackled writing this shit. Fun fact, I have witnessed @muwapsturniolo piss herself. It was very intimate and lovely. Credit to her for our combined au!!!

With love and big tits, Rose

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You needed to pee. Bad. Small curses are whispered under your breath as you rush from Matt and your bedroom to the bathroom just out in the hall. You wish you hadn’t waited so long to get up, but you were so warm and your day was already bad.

Turning the knob to the bathroom, your entire body jolts as you hear some sort of battle-cry, a scream pursing through your lips as shock waves over you.

“AHHHHHHH! AHHH- FAWK!” Chris screams, hunching over as he feels your fist pummel into his gut.

“Chris! WHY THE FUCK? I just,” horror washes over your face as you feel the warm sensation of piss streaming down your legs.

You pissed yourself.

Chris is hunched over, groaning in pain. Matt and Nick have always landed some hard hits on him, but nothing as painful as this. He doesn’t know what you hit, all he knows is he might throw up and it’s hard to breathe.

Matt immediately rushes out of your shared room, startled by the sight in front of him. On one hand, his girlfriend is hysterically crying, a puddle of pee at her feet. On the other hand, his brother is quite literally heaving like a elderly man, clutching his stomach as if he had been shot.

“Alright, what the fuck happened?! Are you okay-”

You cut Matt off as he tries to wrap his arms around you, crying even louder as the humiliation makes your bones vibrate in your skin. “Don’t touch me, I’m covered in piss!” you screech.

The comotion had even reached Bunny from all the way downstairs. She hears the concerningly loud noises, padding up the stairs with her soft socks.

Her reaction is about the same as Matt’s. A large gasp pushes through her lips, her hands covering over her mouth as her eyes grow wide. What the fuck happened?

“Chris? What did you do!” she curses, running over to Chris fervently. And then her soft, pink socks feel it - piss. Literal fucking piss.

“What the…” she trails off, finally looking up to you with even bigger eyes.

Oh.

That’s what happened.

“I told you not to scare Doll!” she says, her nose scrunching from utter anger, “-and then you go and scare her when she needs to pee?! I - UGH!”

“Can someone just kill me?” you plea, looking towards the ceiling and hoping everything just fades away.

But it doesn’t.

All you feel is the piss growing cold at your feet.

___

After a hell of a cleanup, you had curled into bed with even more cries. You pissed yourself. At your grown fucking age, you goddamn pissed yourself. Chris usually aggravated you, but this was something so humiliating, so degrading.

At least you got a good punch in. He definitely deserved it.

It’s nearly midnight. Matt’s softly snoring next to you, dead tired from all the errands he had to go and do all day.

Peaceful is what it should be, but it’s not, because you have to pee.

“Matt,” you shake his shoulder gently, wincing as his tired eyes look over at you with panic.

“Hm? What’s wrong?” he mumbles, struggling to keep his eyes open. Your frown deepening as you feel him sit up, pulling you into his arms. “-can’t sleep? You want hot chocolate?” he asks.

You shake your head fervently, clutching your legs tighter together, your face burning with embarrassment as you ask him the question you had been contemplating for the past hour. “No, no, I just…can you, like, come with me? To the bathroom?”

Matt pulls his lips into a tight line, nodding firmly as he guides you both to the bathroom. He walks in first, turning on the lights and opening the door wide, showing you that there’s no idiot there.

“Want me to stay with you?” he questions, backing out of the bathroom as you shake your head from side to side. You weren’t gonna have your boyfriend take you fucking potty, you just couldn’t get up and check the room by yourself. Not after the catastrophe from earlier.

You start doing your business as usual. Matt stomps down the stairs, his lips pulling even tighter as he grumbles to himself.

Bunny is sleeping peacefully. Matt almost feels bad, but he needs her out of the way.

“Move.” Matt urges, staring down as the girl tilts her head in the slightest before complying, rolling over to the other side of the bed.

The second he’s looking down at Chris drooling all sloppily, he swats him on the head. Hard.

“Ah - the fuck?” Chris wakes up abruptly, looking around with confused eyes.

Matt stares down at him with annoyance. “I can’t believe I had to wake up to check the bathroom for my girlfriend in the middle of the night because your dumb ass wanted to pull a fucking prank. Don’t be such an idiot next time,” he huffs, walking back out the room.

Chris is astonished. He looks over to Bunny, offended beyond belief. “Did you see that? What if you were layin’ on me Bun! He could’ve hit you!”

Bunny shrugs, crawling back over and snuggling on his chest. “No,” she yawns, “-he told me to move first.”

“And you just…did?” Chris questions, offense fully written in the tone of his voice.

Bunny just shrugs, cuddling into him more before sleepily rambling on;

“Told you not to scare Doll…”

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colorlessjay · 1 month ago

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Oh my Jack, I’m obsessed with your BTTF AU.

I know it might not quite fit into your AU but I’ve been giggling to myself about the potential hilarious misunderstandings. My fav being s6 Dean attempts to put together all the little clues Cas has dropped about his husband but like comically wrong (plugged-all-the-numbers-into-the-right-formula-and-somehow-got-the-wrong-answer wrong)

Dean in the guest bedroom with sticky notes and red string: ok so he wears flannels and he has an Impala that looks suspiciously like baby and cas mentioned he had hair longer than mine and that he was a hunter and Sam and I knew him and they were friends for a while before anything romantic happened, and I’m clearly not hanging out with cas as much …

Dean (having a panic attack): son of a bitch I know who cas is married to!

Dean (mopey and despondent and slightly horrified the next day and definitely not with puffy eyes): Cas, I, I have to know, your husband, it’s not *gulp*

Cas (visibly worried he’s given too much away and s6 dean is still so repressed that the bi realization is throwing him into despair)

Dean whispering (trying not to vomit): Sam?

Cas (too stunned to hold back his reaction): *hysterical laughter* oh, no, dean! I’m not married to sam.

Dean (nearly passing out from relief): thank god!

Cas (under his breath): this is why my dean asked me to love him anyways when his past self asked an incredibly stupid question

Honestly I fucking love that so much, I think I have a way to shoe horn that into the AU

kinda like this:

It's been two days

It's been two days stuck in the future, and Dean feels frustration bubbling up in him as his brain tries to puzzle piece everything together

It doesn't help that Cas won't tell him shit

Best friend my ass!

Okay, maybe he's being a bit of an asshole saying that. Cas- This Cas has been nothing but a great host. He always has food in the fridge, he has extra clothes he lets Dean borrow, he doesn't get all up in Dean's personal space like his Castiel does

But at the same time, Cas keeps giving him these looks, like he knows something Dean doesn't

which sure, yeah, he knows a whole hell of a lotta things. It's the future. But Cas us smug about it. At least it feels like he's smug about it. It doesn't help that Cas is out of his holy tax accountant get up and dresses like a regular John. Least his taste in band shirts has improved thanks to his husband

Husband

yeah, that still causes a record scratch in Dean's brain every time he thinks about it

And he's got no problems with it! Love is love and all that. Who Cas wants to take home and put a ring on is his own business. It's not like Cas is a guy, he's an angel. A beam of holy light or whatever. So technically, he's not gay (Not that Dean would have a problem with that!). But it does make his husband some kind of monsterfucker

which is also totally fine. Cas is a catch. Good for both of them

So why doesn't Cas say who his husband is?

Is he scared Dean would judge him? Well fuck him for that! Dean's not a homophobe! And Cas is his best friend! He'd be supportive of him and his monsterfucker husband! Rainbow streamers with Cthulhu and all!

Unless Cas is more worried about Dean's reaction to who he's married to...

which is dumb. From what little Cas told him about Mr. Mystery (Cas refuses to tell him his last name), he wears a shit ton of plaid flannels, he cooks a lot with Cas, likes to read (a guess he got from the 'shared library' Cas showed him), is pretty handy around the house, has long stupid hair and loves his dog Miracle...

Holy shit

Dean was on his feet before he even knew what he was doing. He practically kicks down the guest room door and runs around the house looking for that damn Angel/half angel/not angel

He finds Cas in the backyard with Miracle, playing fetch on the wide stretch of land he owns

Cas looks all too comfortable in his loose, light washed jeans and Metallica shirt, his hair wind swept, probably from running around with Miracle while Dean took a nap.

Cas spots Dean approaching and waves at him with a smile, only to drop both as he sees Dean's determined march

Dean can't blame him. He has no idea what he looks like right not but he knows what he feels

like he's gonna explode

"Dean-" Cas starts but never gets to finish as Dean grabs the future version of his best friend by his shoulders and holds him still, grounding himself as he speaks

"Did you marry Sam?"

The question hung in the nice summer air for around two, three beats. Miracle even pausing where she sat with a stick in her mouth, her little head tilted to the side

Cas' usual stoic face breaks into surprise and Dean holds his breath

Only for Cas, Angel of the Lord, to burst out into an explosive laughter that rocks Dean's entire being

Suddenly Dean has no idea how to react, because Cas is... he's got the biggest, gummiest, most hysterical laugh he's ever seen. It completely transforms his face that Dean is questioning if he's still taking nap, and this was all just some weird dream where he thinks Cas is almost...

cute

Get it together, Winchester!

By the time Dean shakes away his shock, Cas is already on the ground, on his back, clutching his sides as he laughs into the sky like Dean just told the joke of the century

"Hey!" Dean snaps, his face feeling warm for reasons he doesn't have time to think about. "Answer the damn question!"

"No! Hahaha!" Cas says in between laughs, Miracle coming to his side to paw and bark at her owner

"Why the fuck not???"

"No I mean-" Cas takes a deep breath and wheezes, coughing into his fist as he tries to get himself together

Dean grumbles impatiently, popping a squat just to poke at Cas' arm to get him to answer

Eventually Cas' laughter does die down and Dean finds himself staring at just the biggest, smuggest grin he's ever seen on Cas

"I mean no, I did not marry Sam. And I believe he his reaction to you saying that would be much funnier than you asking me" Cas, for the love of God, giggles.

And it shouldn't be cute. Cas is an old man and he's giggling and Dean shouldn't feel... whatever the fuck it is he's feeling right now that's not frustration

But oddly enough he's not frustrated at all

he's relived

Is it because Sam's not gay or because Cas didn't go barking up his brother?

Why does that matter? It shouldn't. Stop thinking about it

"Dean" Cas starts, his laughing having died off and his smile softer as he stares up at Dean "Why do you ask?"

There's... there's a tone to Cas' question that Dean doesn't like. So, he does the one thing he's good at

He pushes himself up and shakes back into himself

"Well you weren't telling me jack, so I thought I'd throw in wild guesses and hope I predict something" A cool lie slip out but even he can tell Cas doesn't buy it

Damn it. Those eyes always seemed to see through him

Cas doesn't call him on his bullshit, but he knows. Dean knows he knows and it bothers him further

"Yes well. Perhaps if you keep guessing, the truth will come out eventually"

"yeah... eventually"

------------

Anyways. Drabble done. Doot doot

#destiel #castiel #dean winchester #deancas #dean x castiel #spn #destielbttfau

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thatbadadvice · 1 month ago

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Help! I'm A Private Person!

Neil Gaiman, Journal.NeilGaiman.com, 14 January 2025:

Over the past many months, I have watched the stories circulating the internet about me with horror and dismay. I’ve stayed quiet until now, both out of respect for the people who were sharing their stories and out of a desire not to draw even more attention to a lot of misinformation. I've always tried to be a private person, and felt increasingly that social media was the wrong place to talk about important personal matters. I've now reached the point where I feel that I should say something. As I read through this latest collection of accounts, there are moments I half-recognise and moments I don’t, descriptions of things that happened sitting beside things that emphatically did not happen. I’m far from a perfect person, but I have never engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with anyone. Ever. I went back to read the messages I exchanged with the women around and following the occasions that have subsequently been reported as being abusive. These messages read now as they did when I received them – of two people enjoying entirely consensual sexual relationships and wanting to see one another again. At the time I was in those relationships, they seemed positive and happy on both sides. And I also realise, looking through them, years later, that I could have and should have done so much better. I was emotionally unavailable while being sexually available, self-focused and not as thoughtful as I could or should have been. I was obviously careless with people's hearts and feelings, and that's something that I really, deeply regret. It was selfish of me. I was caught up in my own story and I ignored other people's. I’ve spent some months now taking a long, hard look at who I have been and how I have made people feel. Like most of us, I’m learning, and I'm trying to do the work needed, and I know that that's not an overnight process. I hope that with the help of good people, I'll continue to grow. I understand that not everyone will believe me or even care what I say but I’ll be doing the work anyway, for myself, my family and the people I love. I will be doing my very best to deserve their trust, as well as the trust of my readers. At the same time, as I reflect on my past – and as I re-review everything that actually happened as opposed to what is being alleged – I don't accept there was any abuse. To repeat, I have never engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with anyone. Some of the horrible stories now being told simply never happened, while others have been so distorted from what actually took place that they bear no relationship to reality. I am prepared to take responsibility for any missteps I made. I’m not willing to turn my back on the truth, and I can't accept being described as someone I am not, and cannot and will not admit to doing things I didn't do.

Dear Neil,

You, sir, are nothing other than fundamentally misunderstood — indicated in every sense by this, a smart and good post that you published on the whole-ass internet for literally the entire world to read.

The important thing is that you're learning! And you deserve infinite credit for that. Not nearly enough people appreciate how much you've learned about yourself in the course of ~ allegedly ~ committing sexual assault against multiple, probably crazy, women and the aftermath thereof. Less enlightened men would disregard the experiences of women who have highly specific and detailed accounts of being sexually abused, but you are open to the idea that the women who foolishly believe you assaulted them were simply mislead by your interminable charm! For which you cannot be held responsible! What a gift you are, friend; your generosity and open-mindedness are unparalleled.

Truly, whomst among us has not been where you find yourself now? Come, enjoy the company of friends who understand the brutal loneliness that results from being misunderstood by hysterical bitches who fail to appreciate the privilege of having your masterful fingers shoved up their asses without notice!

Again and again, women love men like you too much. They want you to be emotionally and sexually available! And that is just so, so much to ask. You have a lot going on! It's not a ding on them — of course they find you irresistible, being as you are an intellectual titan — and they may find themselves confused and intimidated by your sexual prowess, unaware that you exist in a world beyond pedestrian notions of consent. That is what makes your work so particularly meaningful and powerful.

You write about a man who does a bad thing, but you do the other good thing! You do a good thing, but in your work, a man does a bad thing! This is the stuff of sheer brilliance, capturing the sturm unt drang of the human condition — or, at least, of the humans whose conditions matter most, which is to say, men of your creative stature.

The sorry truth is that despite your best efforts, no one understands you, the author of 40-plus years of written work in which you had every fucking opportunity to emulate literally any character of your design who was not an unrepentant rapist. Whomst among us has not struggled with such quandaries? Whomst among us has not wondered: Should I rape women in the presence of my child, or should I just the fuck wait a minute and destroy my marriage by other means? Should I order a cinnamon bagel, or an egg sandwich? These are the questions men such as us must grapple with in a world where cancel culture has run rampant, and where people are liable to believe anything they hear from over half a dozen unbridled harpies (story idea! make sure Katee Robert doesn't see this, she seems like a bitch with designs) whose indeterminate fantasies have been aggressively fact-checked by risk-averse media legal departments.

You're right and everyone else is wrong, and that's exactly the take-away that everyone will have from reading this thing that you posted! Great work, great instincts, great writing. It's like Stardust, but hotter. You know what I mean.

A+ all around, no notes other than: you should share this with more people directly so they have the clearest possible idea of where you're coming from. Don't hold back, bud!

#advice #bad advice #neil gaiman #stardust #good omens #katee robert #this mf #honestly fuck this man #leave him #dtmfa

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siilvan · 1 year ago

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OUR GIRLSSSSSSS 😭😭😭

Lastochka's Christmas

This year has brought me many new and dear friends in this fandom, and three of them are the Lastochkas

From left to right:

Myléne 'Petra' Scholten de Ridder, @eenochian

Olga 'Zhar' Samiolova, @nrdmssgs

Some random blonde bitch lmao

Freya 'Mini' MacTavish (standing), @sofasoap

To everyone, Merry Christmas

(in case the Christmas big ass render I'm finishing makes my laptop explode and I can't post it lmao)

#*sprays you with bottle* not some random blonde bitch that’s our beloved riot #god you always make petra so hot and i appreciate that so much #and so accurately i’m— 😭😭 you paid attention to all my stupid details….. *hysterical sobbing*#there’s no fucking way i can write a fic in time for christmas but trust there WILL be lastochka fics #i’m just. god i love them so much #you’re amazing i’m actually tearing up a bit and it’s totally not just the period making me emotional shush i love them and i love you #sylph.blogs

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lani-heart · 6 months ago

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|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

genre(s) -> angst, fluff, non-idol, hybrid au, poly au paring(s) -> ( eventually ) ATEEZ x reader warning(s) -> mention of abandonment issues, stealing, mention of abuse, mental health words -> 2.5k

abstract -> never worry someone who could blackmail you as punishment...

mingi’s perspective

How was I this unlucky?

I should’ve listened to Yunho… I shouldn’t have robbed her. She always had one of her hybrids around and of course, she had one yesterday… Why wouldn’t she?

“Hey, buddy. You’re done with the evaluation today. You're code green!” One of the workers said and I nodded.

He kept writing things on that clipboard of his… in front of the kennels…

“I wanna see Yunho,” I muttered and he sighed. “His owner took him. I doubt you’ll be able to see them unless they come here.” He said as he led me inside the facility again. I missed him.

“What do you want? Money? Name your price!!” I heard as we went to the reception area. “Mingi!” I heard as I saw Yunho. I came up to him and hugged him but I saw he winced a little bit.

“I’m sorry” I apologized and he chuckled. “It’s okay. We’ll be together soon” he said and I doubt that’ll ever happen. Empty promises… he often liked to give me false hope.

“Miss, we can't give you her phone number because you asked. That’s a violation of privacy and security—“ ”I don’t care! That bitch got my husband fired!” She yelled hysterically. “The girl is apparently a CEO's daughter and now he’s fired because of how she treated her yesterday,” Yunho said and I laughed. It was deserved.

“I’ll pay you… a thousand dollars” she offered and I sighed. She’ll never change… but I guess that's just who she is… “Come on, Mingi '' I heard one of the workers wanting to lead me away. “Huh? Please can I stay for a little?” I begged and he sighed but nodded. He was unleashing me when the receptionist came up.

“Chenle, can’t I just give her y/n’s phone number and get a thousand dollars?” the boy asked and I almost laughed. It was easy money and for a lot.

“Is it really worth it?” the other boy… Chenle asked. “Huh?! Of course, it is! I’m sorry you’re so rich you can afford anything like y/n” he pouted… He was also rich? Must be nice… being human and no worries.

“If you give her y/n’s phone number she’ll kill you” Chenle warned and the receptionist pouted. “She’ll understand,” he said and Chenle scoffed. “You’re playing with fire,” Chenle said and the receptionist shrugged.

“I’m sorry but I have a business to attend to,” the doctor said as he left my previous owner…

“What are you doing here?” She asked while looking at me. “What if I call y/n to come here? That wouldn’t be a violation of privacy?” The receptionist offered and she smirked.

“Then do it,” she said but he put his hand out. She rolled her eyes and gave him a check of what I assumed to be a thousand.

“She’s gonna kill him, '' Chenle muttered to himself and it seemed to get Yunho's attention. “Is she scary?” Yunho asked and the worker sighed “y/n? Kinds of… I mean she only gets angry and she already humiliated and insulted one of her hybrids so yeah she’ll be mad to be tricked by Haechan'' he explained and I realized she protected her hybrids.

She really did care a lot for them.

“y/n!!” The receptionist said. “Idiot” Chenle muttered. “Kun wants to do a last-minute check on San. Hmm? No, it’s nothing serious but he wants to go over some lab results he missed from his last check-up” the receptionist said.

“Ok, thank you. See you see y/n” he said and told the devil herself to sit down.

“Easy!” He said to Chenle and the boy only scoffed. “Even if I was in debt like you, I wouldn’t mess with y/n. She got her husband fired, she can get you fired. You know how much Kun respects her” Chenle said and the boy chuckled.

“But a thousand dollars!” He said and he rolled his eyes. “Haechan, you’re dead. Take care of Mingi, I actually have work to do unlike you” he said as he left me with Haechan.

“I heard you were code green. Congratulations!” He said and I smiled while looking at Yunho. “Is y/n a bad person?” Yunho asked and Haechan shook her head.

“One of the best people. She’s just scary when mad, she is a CEO’s daughter” he chuckled and I sighed. Eventually, I was just sitting in silence by Yunho… I missed him a lot. We were never separated for this long… I was alone.

It didn’t even take long until I saw the familiar girl but with her panther hybrid… a hybrid that Yunho seemed to be scared of in the rare chance he accompanied her. Haechan approached her and I heard him apologize in advance.

“y/n right?” the devil said and the girl glared at the receptionist who was admiring his check.

“Look, I want you to take back whatever kid bratty behavior this is. You’re messing with people's lives honey and—“ “I don’t really care what you have to say. If you’re so worried about your lives you would've been nicer to others” she said and the devil scoffed.

“Oh come on! Just tell daddy that what you said was some joke and that—""Why don’t you tell your husband for a divorce since I feel bad his career was ruined because of your mouth” she said and I felt my eyes widen. I looked at Yunho who had the same expression. The devil was gonna slap her but the hybrid seemed to react faster when he grabbed her hips and pushed her back.

He growled at her for attempting to hit her.

“What’s going on here?!” I heard as I saw the doctor. “Look, miss, you need to leave before I call the police.” The doctor said, “You should call the police, she's crazy,'' y/n said and the devil incarnate grabbed Yunho's collar and took him with her.

“Why’d you come?” The doctor asked and I was now alone. Yunho is gone again… I had no one… again.

“I don’t know. Haechan, why was I here again?” She asked annoyedly and the boy smiled awkwardly.

“I’m gonna take my fifteen minute break”

“Sorry y/n and San” Kun said and I shook my head. “It's not your fault and I can't blame Haechan too much, he is a student in debt.'' I said and he smiled softly while bowing.

“Can I ask how the situation is going?” I asked and he sighed.

“Yunho and Mingi were both adopted at a young age from breeders. Yunho is a golden retriever hybrid, whilst Mingi is a wolf hybrid. However, he was the runt of the litter whilst Yunho was the only hybrid born from his mother. Their owner originally wanted to adopt only one hybrid but adopted the two” he explained.

“But why would she change her mind?” San asked and I could tell Kun was a bit stressed with how he started organizing his paperwork.

“They're a bonded pair. Almost like mates, but being separated is affecting Mingi's health. So it wasn't recommended to separate them when they were so young and it still isn’t” he explained and I felt bad for the wolf. “It’s almost as if San or Wooyoung would be separated from you. Even though your tigers and dog hybrid care about you, those two are unhealthily attached to you…” he said and I knew what he meant. How they reacted when they thought I was dead was… an example.

“What’s the difference between the two then? She seems to prefer the dog?” San asked and Kun agreed. “She explained that she didn’t expect the hybrids to be so tall yet so big in size. She has kids and she even claimed that he attacked her kids, but he isn't remotely violent at all. The golden retriever would do more damage before the wolf would” he explained and I was assuming she lied about it to get rid of him easily.

“I want him to apologize to you,” San said to me and I looked at him a little shocked. “San, he was doing it to survive-” “He still stole from you…” he said and I turned to Kun who looked at me a little mischievously… “Why are you looking at me that way?” I asked and he chuckled softly.

“Here,” he said as he handed me a pamphlet for… fostering hybrids.

“No–” me and San said but were both interrupted. “For now, so he can forget about Yunho, he’s going through depression and all of the green code hybrids have been transferred or can’t be with other hybrids. He is going through a dependent disorder, which I think can be broken by being with other hybrids” he said and I really felt bad and a little guilty… even though I shouldn’t.

“Just for a week” he begged and I sighed. Before I could deny he reminded me why I hate men. “You owe me for letting you adopt the two tiger hybrids and stressing me out,” he said and I scoffed.

“Fine,” I said knowing I couldn’t do anything with that card he pulled. “But he isn’t staying with us permanently right?” San asked and I shook my head.

Kun soon called in Jisung who was leading us to Mingi… “Another hybrid? Are you–” I interrupted him by showing him the pamphlet and he laughed. “You’re getting blackmailed by Kun?!” he let out and I rolled my eyes.

“Mingi, come on we want you to meet someone,” he said as he looked up at his sitting position to widen his eyes in shock and I could tell he was a little scared.

“I-I’m sorry! R-really I… I don't–” “Calm down, buddy. Deep breaths she isn't gonna do anything to you. She’s here to help, think of it as your treatment” he explained and the wolf nodded slowly not knowing what was happening.

“Ok so the foster hybrid process is–”

mingi’s perspective

My treatment was under a foster hybrid program with y/n. The woman I stole from… the woman who I shouldn't have stolen or else I would’ve been with Yunho… a woman with five hybrids who will hate me.

I expect her to get back on me… maybe starve me? Or hit me? Any form of punishment

I don’t know yet… Her hybrids seem pretty happy and healthy? I couldn’t assume though, she might be an awful person and abuse them… but Yunho said he didn’t think so.

“We’re here, you’ll be sharing with my tiger hybrid, Hongjoong,” she said and I think she meant the tiger that was with her the day we were caught… the one who almost attacked us?

“y/n! You're back! Yeosang is being mean… ” I saw a fox hybrid happily approach her only to stop at the sight of me. “You started… it?” I soon saw a dog hybrid glare at me… both were confused at seeing an unknown hybrid in their home.

“This is Mingi… Kun asked me a favor and we’ll be fostering him for a week” she explained and the fox scoffed. “Fostering?” the dog said, confused. “It's a program where you can trial run a hybrid to see if they are a good fit for you” the fox explained and the dog glared.

“No! The tigers are enough and now him! You didn’t even ask us!” he said angrily. “The doctor technically blackmailed her to take him. He won’t stay here for long… only a week” the panther glared at me.

I already didn’t feel wanted.

The fox and dog glared at me. “Come on… don’t be mean,” she said softly while approaching the fox hugging him. He hugged her back tight… She also smiled sweetly at the dog who caressed her head.

“Fine… but there's no room for him in my room with Seonghwa, he’s already enough to deal with,” the dog said and she smiled softly. ‘He’ll be with Hongjoong” she said and he laughed.

“Tell him that, he literally locks himself in there,” he said and I think my roommate won’t like me already.

“Is y/n back?” I heard as I saw the two tigers who stopped at the sight of me. “YOU!” the orange tiger yelled and I panicked. “Why is he here?!” he yelled and I wanted to leave… bury myself in a hole.

“You know him?” the panther asked and he scoffed.

“He’s the wolf hybrid who robbed y/n!” he said and they all looked at me hatefully… this wasn’t a good idea. “Come on… he did it to survive. Hongjoong don’t act like you never wanted to escape. All of you did besides Wooyoung” she scolded and they all looked away from her but the fox.

“His friend was taken away from him. So be nice, he doesn’t have a home and he’s not as lucky as you guys” she said and they nodded. “Sorry y/n,” they said.

“Hongjoong, he’ll be sharing rooms with you– “ he looked shocked and was about to argue “Only temporary! Please?” she asked and he sighed but didn’t have any other choice but to nod even though I could tell he didn’t want to.

“Mingi, are you hungry?” she asked me and I was but I didn’t know if this was a trap… she didn’t seem bad. They all seemed like happy hybrids. I shook my head despite not eating today.

“Hongjoong show him your new room okay?”

“I’m sorry for what she said to you by the way,” I said to the tiger who I saw froze for a second before shaking his head. “It’s not your fault… you should be apologizing to y/n for stealing from her. And for tricking her like the two of you did, she felt betrayed” he explained and I nodded.

“Yunho really liked her…” I muttered and he didn't say anything.

“I really like your hair,” I said and he smiled softly. “Thanks… y/n said I could get it done. I was overdue for a haircut,” he said and I smiled softly.

“I’ve been to your show before,” I said… and he sighed. “I’m sorry you went through that…” I added and he nodded. “Just don’t mention it around me or Seonghwa… he's the other tiger hybrid,” he said and I nodded.

“Anything else I should avoid?” I asked and he nodded. “Don’t get too close to San… he’ll attack you. He isn’t too good with new people especially hybrids” he explained and I was curious as to why…

“Also don’t show, Wooyoung, you're annoyed with him. He’ll be upset. While staying away from Yeosang he’s very possessive of y/n '' he explained and I was overwhelmed.

“What?” I asked and he chuckled.

“You’re an intruder. y/n is our mate, while you're an unmated male in our territory. San will attack you if you're too close, Yeosang will talk badly about you to y/n, Seonghwa will likely avoid you, and I’m also cautious of you… Wooyoung is the best bet. If you befriend him the others will like you also.

I needed to befriend Wooyoung… who was he again?

“I don’t know how much progress you’ll make in a week though”

@wonuangel @danirael @angelsaway @krissroo @minkysmilk @mayonnaise-on-toast @robertsbbygirl @superbbananananana @hyukssunflower @kitty4hwa @justconniez @senpai-of-doom @kibs-and-bits @caityelise99 @ilovekinny @ateezennie23 @wooahaelemons @purplelady85 @watamotee33@chidess97 @littlelostdemonofthelight @maliamaiden @burntarm1n @spooo00oky @eastleighsblog @momo-peachy @kitstar1117 @quartzpirate @sunnyhokyu @iwishiwasrichasfuck @theginger543210 @pandolinka @ddaeing @kpopnightingale @slid3er @kekdo-520 @puppyminnnie @sparklinghwa222 @calicanbeevil @itsvxlentine @atinism @loumin908 @smally97 @rxnexxi @acetruepunk @majesticbeluga @namjooncrabs @tashizxy @itstheghostofmypast @smilefordongil @teeziny @totallynotlyntv @kyeos4ng @prodsh00ky @acescavern

please don't be a silent reader !! reblog, comment, and like <3

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