#this bitch don't sign tho

[amberlin1]

WE ARE GOING TO 1970s MANAGUA, NICARAGUA TO SEE THE BEGINNINGS OF NICARAGUAN SIGN LANGUAGE AND THE DEVELOPMENT OF SAID SIGN LANGUAGE, AND ALSO TO SEE HOW MUCH OF A FUCKING LIAR YOU ARE, DOCTOR!

We need more weird historian rep in Doctor Who. The companions are too normal when faced with the prospect of time travel. I want a companion who makes a list of super specific historical destinations related to their dissertation. I want somebody whose first reaction to finding out that the Doctor is a time travelling alien is to create a Microsoft Word document and ask, “What caused the Late Bronze Age collapse?”

[cordiallyfuturedwight]

get to know me // k-pop idol edition ⤷ inspired by @cowboylikeyoongi; tagged by @aprylynn, @summerwave, & @jinstronaut ♡

[hotdadlicense]

whenever i watch shows like down to earth with zefron or ride with norman reeedus i always get so stressed when they go into some cafe or store or company or wherever cos i'm like. if some celebrity rolled up to the cafe i work at with their camera crew etc i'd be like. okay well i quit. bye. you ain't ever gettin me on camera or trying to answer if the coffees good

[direwombat]

being an adult who doesn't go to bars and doesn't use any dating apps makes having a social life so fucking hard a;lfkjasdf i hate it

[moonspower]

one time my uncle got into a lil gang war in the 90s and came in covered in blood and my grandma legit said

‘ get out of my motherfucking house and don’t bleed on my carpet, i paid so much money for it ’

and put his ass right out.

[amaranthineghost]

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🐟 ꒱ my american lover ( logan sargeant. )

logan sargeant x aussie!reader

in which a series of instagram posts causes the internet to think you're oscar's girlfriend

authors note: motivation these days is like trying to find water in a desert TvT doesn't help that this deleted the first time i tried to post it

ynusername

liked by oscarpiastri and 4,028 others

ynusername life lately

view all 302 comments

user HELP THE OSCAR PICTURE?

user this was not on my 2024 bingo card

⤷ user it was not on mine either what 😭😭😭

user since when does yn know about oscar piastri?

⤷ user and since when was he in her likes???

oscarpiastri where did you even get that photo 🥲

⤷ ynusername mumma piastri has a soft spot for me 😊

⤷ oscarpiastri ah

user omg she knows oscar's mom too

user is this a soft launch???

⤷ user using oscar's photos from when he was a kid? i sure hope not 😭

⤷ user okay yeah, that'd be a little bit awkward, but why else would she post a picture of him in her photo dump

user twitter is gonna go crazy

⤷ user i can already see the threads

user does no one know that they're friends?

⤷ user i thought this was common knowledge atp because he has appeared in her previous posts...

⤷ user right, there's photos of them as kids karting together

user ynscar 🙏

⤷ user i found my people

user the ynscar rumors starting up again is wild

⤷ user well they never denied anything

⤷ user ...

⤷ user are you on something?

ynusername

liked by lilymhe and 1,937 others

ynusername what a view (the city, not oscar)

view all 103 comments

user stop, she's so pretty...and he's there

lilymhe we need to hang out and take pictures! the boys will find something to entertain themselves 😘

⤷ ynusername asap! 🙏🏻 they see each other every day, whats another?

⤷ lilymhe exactly! 😊

⤷ alex_albon what am i being signed up for?

user oh my god, lily and yn planning a hangout with their boyfriends? so its confirmed?

⤷ user AND THEY SEE EACH OTHER EVERY DAY??? GOTTA BE!!!

oscarpiastri is this just your new thing to post random photos of me?

⤷ ynusername yeah pretty much

⤷ oscarpiastri great thanks

⤷ ynusername anytime 🙂‍↕️

user of all the photos of oscar she could've chosen, she used this one

⤷ oscarpiastri right

⤷ user OMG OSCAR ILY!!!

user am i the only one who doesn't believe the ynscar rumors?

⤷ user you aren't because it just doesn't make sense

⤷ user right like just because she started putting memes of him in her posts doesn't mean they are outright dating

logansargeant the view looks great!

⤷ ynusername its so gorjos! (you're not talking about oscar, right?)

⤷ logansargeant gorgeous, babe, and no, of course not (yeah, i might be)

⤷ ynusername (oscar isn't the view here!)

⤷ logansargeant (says who) (and why are we talking in parentheses)

⤷ ynusername (i don't know) (why are you talking in parentheses?)

⤷ logansargeant (i don't know, that's why i asked you)

⤷ ynusername (well i don't know either)

⤷ logansargeant (you've said)

⤷ user (what's going on?) (why did he call her babe???)

⤷ user (why are logan and yn talking?) (not on my 2024 bingo card)

⤷ user (well they both know oscar)

⤷ user (but he called her babe??)

user help all the replies to their comments being in parentheses as well 😭😭😭

user am i the only one who prefers yngan to ynscar

⤷ user nope!

⤷ user i love them so much, but it's probably unlikely and we don't see much interaction from them

ynusername

liked by oscarpiastri and 3,408 others

ynusername pov you're max verstappen at miami and you look in your mirrors

view all 231 comments

user oh my god

user im speechless

user the soft launch with the meme of oscar was not on my list of things happening this season 😭

bsfusername you know you're never beating the rumors

⤷ ynusername sadly 😓😓😓

⤷ bsfusername okay but when was this tho

⤷ ynusername wdym 😋

⤷ bsfusername don't gaslight me

⤷ ynusername what's gaslighting???

⤷ bsfusername bitch.

⤷ user rumors? such as the ynscar rumors?

user logan in the likes?

⤷ user hes BEEN in the likes for a hot sc, you just couldn't see him lurking

oscarpiastri you're not coming to the next race

⤷ ynusername WHY NOT??? IM YOUR BIGGEST SUPPORT 🙏🏻

⤷ oscarpiastri support your boyfriend

❤️ by author + logansargeant

⤷ ynusername SHHHH!!!

user wait so oscar isn't her boyfriend?

user anyone see logan in the likes???

⤷ user gotta support the homie's girlfriend

⤷ user gotta

⤷ user they aren't dating 😭

user okay, but do we know FOR SURE oscar and yn are dating? they just seem like really close friends...?

⤷ user SOMEONE GETS IT

user real ones know that oscar and yn are childhood friends

ynusername has posted a story!

[caption: guys look at my uber driver 😢]

view all story replies

user PLEASE RESPOND TO THE RUMORS

user 1. you're dating oscar a. true b. false

user he doesn't even have the steering wheel 😭

ynusername 🤫

user oh my god im gonna faint, tell oscar and logan i love them

oscarpiastri you had the wheel

ynusername stupid, american cars amiright 🤣

oscarpiastri sure

ynusername okay no need for the attitude mr. im a formula 1 driver and am too cool for my BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!

oscarpiastri go bother your BOYFRIEND

ynusername okay

ynusername ...

ynusername you're supposed to feel bad

oscarpiastri 😐😑😐

ynusername

liked logansargeant and 7,078 others

ynusername my american boy <3

view all 227 comments

user the random middle of the day hard launch

⤷ user but im not complaining

logansargeant my kangaroo <3

⤷ ynusername EXCUSE ME???

⤷ logansargeant 😊

⤷ ynusername okay american eagle

oscarpiastri finally putting an end to the rumours i see

⤷ ynusername well you weren't going to do it so someone had to

⤷ oscarpiastri i thought it was common knowledge that i had a girlfriend that wasn't you

⤷ ynusername osc...im gonna hold your hand when i tell you this

⤷ oscarpiastri dont touch me

user the sass from oscar 😭😭

⤷ user i know right😭🫣

logansargeant

liked by ynusername and 143,203 others

logansargeant i love my aussie side

view all 1,047 comments

user ON MY CELLULAR DEVICE???

oscarpiastri i thought i was your aussie side mate

⤷ logansargeant oh no, you are dw

⤷ ynusername probably why he put a picture of oscar in the hard launch

⤷ logansargeant you put one in the soft launch

⤷ ynusername fair point

user i was not expecting this (i was indeed expecting it)

—

taglist (found here): @slut4lrh @kaa12 @taylorslovesswifties13 @sbella13 @nhlfs @beskardroids @hiireadstuff @sapphiccloud @lorenica @delululeclerc @c-losur3 @namgification @casperlikej @darleneslane @soamericn @decafmickey @tellybearryyyy @geniusalpaca @mel164 @littlegrapejuice @rylieverstappen-sargent @ahnneyong @ln4smiamitrophy @jiggly-puff-12 @jamieebuolos @ireadthensuetheauthors @jaasworld

proofread by @foreveralbon <333

[niniluvsainz]

LOS ASTROS ☽ mv1

(social media! au)

in which their astrology signs match perfectly well together.

pairings... max verstappen x fem!model!reader

face claim... valentina zenere

warnings... suggestive content, cursing, isa is still with carlos in this (?), probably bad translations (reader speaks spanish)

author's note... this is my first fic so sorry if it's messy! i was listening to becky g's new album 'esquinas' and when i came upon this song i realized i would declare it as my song. it's also such a cute song, give her entire album a listen! also, i recently heard about the rumors about danny and heidi and i really hope they aren't true (there is a part in this where they are mentioned and i was too lazy to change it to someone else). if a part two is suggested, then i'd be happy to write it

maxverstappen1

location: texas, usa

liked by redbullracing, charles_leclerc and others

maxverstappen1 an amazing performance at circuit of the americas! thank you for the support! let's continue pushing for the next race! redbullracing, thank you team once again!

comments

user1 respect for verstappen button >

user2 im so tired of him winning

⤷ user3 keep crying hater

landonorris happy to share the podium with you

⤷ maxverstappen1 as am i, mate

⤷ user4 omg i love their friendship sm

user5 how can someone look so good

⤷ user6 because he's never looked so good

redbullracing happy and proud of you always, max!

yourusername

liked by isahernaez, tinistoessel and others

yourusername la vida recientemente (life lately)

tagged: tinistoessel

comments

isahernaez te extraño, amiga (i miss you, my friend)

⤷ yourusername pronto regreso a españa, para ver cuando nos juntamos! (i'm returning to spain soon, let's plan something!)

tinistoessel las perras que somos (the baddest bitches we are)

⤷ yourusername tienes toda la razon (you are so right)

landonorris oh damn

⤷ yourusername i miss you, noodles

isa: i have news

isa: i have extra tickets for mexico gp

y/n: but i have a tight schedule

y/n: i was just thinking maybe you, me, and carlos could have a night in to catch up

isa: but y/n, you have to come to a race

isa: carlos is also asking for you to accompany us to one

y/n: ugh

y/n: esta bien (fine)

y/n: i'll see what i can clear from my calendar to at least attend sunday's race

y/n: but i still plan on us having a movie night to catch up

isa: claro que si, amor (of course, love)

isa: i'll book ur hotel now

y/n: no tienes que hacer eso, isa (you don't have to do that)

isa: pero yo te invite 💞 (but i invited you)

yourusername

location: cdmx, mexico

liked by maxverstappen1, isahernaez and others

yourusername me encantaste, mexico! mandame taquitos al pastor a españa, por favor! (i loved you, mexico! send me some sheperd-style taquitos to spain, please!)

tagged: isahernaez, francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux, lilymhe, carlossainz55

comments

user7 where's max's tag tho👀

⤷ user8 right like we see that last post ma'am

isahernaez a la siguiente, amiga! (to the next one, my friend!)

⤷ yourusername ya me dieron mas animas de ir 😏 (i have more encouragement to go now)

user9 y'all notice max started following y/n AND liked the post without the tag?!

⤷ user10 something fishy is going on there

⤷ user11 honestly just waiting on the double date from these four

landonorris added to their story!

caption: so yourusername is wondering if your astrology signs align

replies;

⤷ yourusername this was supposed to stay a secret

⤷ user12 first we find out lando is obsessed with zodiacs, now y/n?!

⤷ user13 who are they tryna see if their stars aligned 🤔

⤷ oscarpiastri is this why i kept hearing you two scream "THEY MATCH" from the other side of hospitality?

⤷ maxverstappen1 y/n is into astrology? hm, maybe i'll look into it

⤷ user14 i love gemini women

maxverstappen1 added to their story!

location: são paulo, brazil

caption: catching rain in brazil☔️

replies;

⤷ user15 MAX EMILIAN WHO'S IS THAT HAND BECAUSE I HAVE BOTH OF MINE ATTACHED TO MY BODY

⤷ landonorris it was rare i was there THIRDWHEELING

⤷ user16 hold up who is that hand and why does that just scream y/n because of the red fingertips

⤷ danielricciardo ew stop you're already showing each other off

⤷ charles_leclerc wait until the lestappen fans come attacking like military soldiers

⤷ carlossainz55 wait is that- THAT'S THE JACKET I GAVE HER FOR HER BIRTHDAY

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, landonorris and others

yourusername se me juntaron las estrellas y los astros

comments

landonorris sure keep bragging about it to the single people

⤷ danielricciardo im not single and i feel single

⤷ heidiberger_ okay.

⤷ danielricciardo NO KEEP GIVINGME SOME SUGA

lilymhe ahhhh sososo happy for u and ur new man ! <3

⤷ yourusername thank u lils 🤍

user17 now you can clearly see she's trying to soft launch but that is the deadpan face of max verstappen

⤷ user18 no it doesn't (im living in delusion because i want max for me)

carlossainz55 quien es el? (who is he)

⤷ isahernaez no nos conmueve eso, carlos (that doesn't concern us)

⤷ yourusername carlossainz55 mi novio (my boyfriend)

maxverstappen1 so astros is also a shortcut word for astrology but also the baseball team the astros

⤷ yourusername exactly, maxie

⤷ user19 SHE HAS A NICKNAME FOR HIM. I REPEAT, SHE HAS A NICKNAME FOR HIM

maxverstappen1 and yourusername

liked by schecoperez, carlossainz55 and others

maxverstappen1 i'm happy shes the gemini to my libra

tagged: yourusername

comments

user20 y/n said soft launch, max said fuck that

user21 I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT

user22 AH NEW SHIP SAILED OFF TODAY AT 13:24 HRS ALL ABOARD THE MAXY/N

⤷ user23 its gonna sink like the titanic

⤷ user24 i hope u go sink like the titanic

landonorris so happy for my fwiends

⤷ yourusername now it's time to find someone for you for the double dates

⤷ user25 I VOLUNTEER! i volunteer as tribute!

user26 now max has two spanish-speaking natives on his ears at all times

⤷ maxverstappen1 yeah i have a mexican who keeps screaming the 'mexicanos al grito de guerra' and an argentinian who moved to spain who keeps slapping my butt like i'm the bull and she's the bullfighter

⤷ yourusername you are literally in the formula one team that is named a 'bull'.

⤷ schecoperez but you love us

⤷ yourusername schecoperez vamos a seguir con el plan de enseñarle todo el vocabulario español (let's continue with the plan to teach him all the spanish vocabulary)

⤷ maxverstappen1 wait i need to google translate what you said

carlossainz55 this is how i found out.

⤷ isahernaez sorry

⤷ yourusername sorry

⤷ maxverstappen1 sorry

⤷ christianhorner sorry

⤷ charles_leclerc i knew before you ?

⤷ carlossainz55 that's the last straw, leclerc.

[theobsessedcookiefan]

Oh oh I have a good one what if y/n cookies was lover of the five beast and they see them get corrupted as how is they reaction seeing them crying broken heart saying please please please PLEASE give him/her back give me back my beloved cookie of volition/ knowledge/change/ happiness/ solidarity I want them back to me I’m will do anything just please turn back to normal

NOOO.. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... Alr, I'll do it bc I like to torture myself and y'all need to suffer with me 😠😠😠

I'm going to make different names for the pre-corrupted beasts!! Bc I seriously doubt they were named that way before 😓😓

I read somewhere that Burning Spice was called Warming Spice before?? I'm not sure tho- but I'll use that name!! I'll try to be original in the names but if it gets too close to other names that other people give them then I'm so sorry bc I probably saw it and don't remember 😓😓😓

Ohboyitendeduplongerthanexpected

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

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Life is a bitch sometimes, it can give you everything you ever desired and take it back in an instant, were you too egotistical? Did you broke the universe balance by being too happy? Maybe it wasn't fair, you lived happily with the best Cookies you've ever met, compassionate, heroic and righteous, the whole package if you could say so, and they loved you oh so much, so much that they would sacrifice everything for your well-being and happiness, to protect your smile; the prettiest smile they've ever seen.

You remember when it started, the first warning came that damned week, you, Blueberry Milk and Saccharine Sugar were helping the locals to make a new orphanage, having a gift exchange game for the kids, at one moment the adults had to bring the food from the first location and left the kids with both of you, they were quite the handful if you were being honest but what could you expect from little cookies? You decided that maybe a little game would calm them down, but you were so busy, not noticing that your partners were getting stressed, when you came back with everything to play you saw half the kids laying down in the ground, obviously you panicked, trying to see if they were breathing or not but thank the divines they were only asleep. When you found the other you saw quite the scene, Saccharine Sugar was playing a melody with her harp and Blueberry Milk was helping the kids to lay down more comfortable in the floor, once he saw you she shook her a bit, she blinked and the music stopped, making the kids wake up, it wasn't that bad but you still told them not to do that again. If only you could've been there when they got the idea..

The second warning came at a perfect afternoon in White Flour's temple, it had been a busy day for her, many cookies came searching for her to make their wishes reality, she seemed extremely tired after all that work so you offered your lap for her to rest her head on, she ended up telling you about how greed changed some of them, how many of them wanted money and gems, it was disappointing really. If only you reassured her that that money could be used for helping people..

The third sign was the fights between Sea Salt and Warming Spice, those two had always been close and used to spar to improve their fighting skills so you were used to it, but that day it ended up with both of them badly injured, you remember running to stop the reddish cookie from using the sharp end of the blade, your worried expression and tone of voice seemed to snap them both of some kind of trance and so you told them to go directly to the healer of the village. If only you were there with them when they fought again..

Then it all faded to chaos, maybe they realized they held all that power or grew bored of the routine? Either way you remember standing in front of a destroyed village, cookie's screams sounding everywhere, it was such a horrible vision, you couldn't even start to comprehend what happened, that was until you heard that melodic voice, it was Saccharine Sugar! Was she hurt too? The virtues were the heroes of the village, they obviously fought against whatever destroyed right? Right..?. Without other thought in mind you ran to where her voice could be heard and what you saw was horrifying, her wings were creating big gusts of wind that were destroying the houses around and she was laughing at it.. She was actually enjoying it. It couldn't be! She was the most gentle of the five, she couldn't find pleasure in hurting others could she? No, not your Saccharine Sugar, not her. You ran towards her extending your hand to try and reach her, she didn't expect you to appear so the wind stopped and you were able to hug her, thing that surprised her.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

"Please.. Please stop, we can find a solution for this, just stop, we can rebuild the village, I know they'll forgive you, just stop please."

It was a desperate plea more than anything else, but she didn't respond, her face expressionless and soon everything faded to black for you.

When you woke up you didn't recognize the place you were in, that was until you looked up, it was night time already? You could've sworn it was afternoon before.. Before.. Oh no, without thinking it twice you got up as quickly as you could, starting to run, trying to see if you could identify the place you were in, you ran for a while until you found one of the villagers hiding behind a barn, a barn? Oh! You were on that area, you got closer to the Cookie hiding and they told you how the virtues started to destroy everything they saw, how many of the villagers didn't survive the chaos and how the remaining were trying to escape but every entrance to the village was guarded by one of them, that was good, at least you knew where your partners were now, you thanked the villager, telling them to hide inside the barn instead and that you would stop the virtues. Oh how wrong you were.

You found them? Yes of course you did, they were guarding the entrances like that villager said, but they were different, not only their appearance but their personality, you remember trying to get to each one of them, pleading for them to stop this madness;

"Please, don't you see you're hurting others? You're supposed to protect them! We can still fix this!"

"If you continue with this you'll only get far away from yourself, please come back, I'll talk to everyone and try to make them understand what happened!"

"I know you care about them, you're not as apathetic as you act, I promise we can solve this together! Just please.."

"Come on.. This is just cruel and you know it! Your plays are supposed to bring others joy, not pain!"

It didn't work, at the end they just looked at you as if they didn't had any idea what you were talking about, as if this was what they were meant to do. Maybe they couldn't be saved? Maybe they were supposed to end like this? Probably, maybe this was what the witches wanted all along..

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

[supermoongirl9]

✨Sextrology of bad sex✨

Placements that could show that someone isn't that good in bed : a (not to take seriously) thread :

Aries placements in men = they will cum WAY TOO FAST in most cases, like fr these mfs cannot wait 30 seconds and will tell you 'omg I was too excited' lmaoooooo - don't say I didn't warn you

Mars-Saturn aspects = could make someone need a VERY long time to cum and while it can be good, it can also be horrible esp in the case of one-night stands (or just wanting some quick fun) - depends on they handle it tho but 1 hour of penetration? RIP to the receiving one lol

People with a combination of fire signs (esp Aries) and Gemini in the chart could want to only go faster faster faster - and also changing positions so fast you'll feel like you're a fucking crepe in a pan - bitch, let me breathe????

Men with a debilitated Mars = it's not bad per se but they'll make love to you on the first link then will act like you're the clingy one: only way they found to express their emotional and vulnerable side is sex and will resent you for it (yes, that's the irony)

Mars-Mercury aspects think they can choke you and that it's hot but it just feels like they're trying to kill you lmaoooo (no but really wth is wrong with y'all??? be nice lol)

The combination of Taurus and Virgo placements can really ruin the mood always talking about how this or this isn't clean, how the room isn't nice enough and stuff - the Bree van de Kamp of sex fr lmaoooooo

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

hear me out….tom lowkey falling inlove w a band member and doesn’t know how to say it.. but every one can see it like how he looks at her or how he protects her. basically down bad softy and over protective tom

ps.LOVE YOUR WORKS!!

(Hello! Thank you so much and of course! Enjoy!)

Don't Speak But Act

I feel like this is Tom to a T

Like, he had such a crush on you

Even if you're in the band or not, you were with him for so, so long

You were with him through so much shit in his life, and I think that's why he sorta developed that crush and clung to the idea of being with you

He appreciated the small things you did for him growing up

Helping with his style, making him laugh, messing with him, just plain being around him, comforting him, holding his hand, and helping fend off bullies from him and Bill

Those things are the shit that made his heart go out to you

You guys hugged, kissed, cuddled in the denial of calling it platonic affection

So hate to platonic affection, I indulge in that shit, but you guys were hiding your feelings 1000%

And it was still so painfully obvious

As you guys grew up and got famous, the crush still stayed but grew even more

But he got more confused, and more in denial he had a crush on you

More like 'I can't like them, what if they don't like me? I don't wanna lose 'em if they don't."

Even if he had that thought process, he still was always around you and still was there for you

It was also very hard when he got with fans or models

He did it tho trying to get rid of hide the feelings for you btw

He got more confident as you guys don't older obviously

He flirted a lot more, there were more touches and he stared from afar

A lot

So many interviews he's looking at you with a smile, a longing look or anything as you could be doing anything possible

He was also very more protective but not over or overbearing

He let you do as you wanted, but a guy or girl touching you or making you uncomfortable was deemed too much and Tom to the rescue we go

He was down bad for you istg

Tell him to jump off a clip and he'll do it but he'll ask for a kiss before or to hold your hand

He always like gravitated towards you in anything, on stage, on interviews or even sitting next to you on fan signings

He was always there with you, watching out of the corner of his eye to make sure you were okay

He thought you looked good in anything, and could literally fold as you wore anything

He's a down bad little bitch

He may seem like the one in control but we all know you are

Walk him like a dog, man

He'll follow proudly

Always walking behind you with his big ass pant waddle

[heedmywarnings]

One last time

(Full Chapter)

In which you insult them one last time. (Aka me insulting pixels even tho I'm on Hiatus)

(Written when I was on Hiatus lmfao)

Warning: Cursing, lots of them.

》 - Chapter 2

Masterlist

♤~-~♤

You were finally captured. It took three months to get where you are, standing before you are the Archons who participated in the hunt, and now they will execute you.

"Before you here, is the Impostor that stole our beloved deity's face" Barbatos started, looking down upon the people, "As if you didn't" you said, barely a whisper "Would you like to repeat that, thief?" The Goddess of Justice whispered on your ear as she pulled your hair, "I SAID, AS IF YOU DIDN'T" you repeated, the crowd gasps because they are very very shocked because they gasped.

Also this moon cake im eating doenst taste good.

"What?"

"You were born from the desires of people, meaning if Decarabian wasn't a tyrant then you wouldn't even be born!" The crowd screams defending the Wind God, "Oh come on! He stole the face of his DEAD friend!" You yelled, "Don't get me started with how he abandoned his nation for the tyrants to just invade Mond. Lady Venessa freed Mondstadt from the Lawrence clan!" Technically, Venti did help but you need to get the crowd on your side.

"That's enough," Ei said approaching you as she unsheath her sword, "You also abandoned your nation! What? because your sister, THE TRUE RULER of Inazuma died?" At this point everyone is appalled.

"T-"

"Don't even get me started with you, you rat tailed motherfucker. You literally made a deal with the fatui, you knew Childe was gonna summon Osial and you let it happen. More so, you faked your own death because you didn't feel like ruling over Liyue? Or was it because you finally understood that you're just incapable of being an Archon? The only reason you survived the Archon War was the adepti and yaksha that you expended!"

"..."

"And who's to say you didn't commit any crime?" Ei said after the shock had dissipated, "What crime!? How do you think a mere mortal were to steal a God's face!?" You screamed through a horse voice, now you've got everyone talking, (like the jury in the Ace Attorney.)

"Is your god suffering from sever little-bitchitis to the point you'd hunt anybody who look REMOTELY similar to them?"

The Archons were stunned, it seemed like you made everyone hold their breathe. "Such blasphemy won't go unforgi-" "I don't need your forgiveness, you cockroach arthritis-suffering bitch," you cut Zhongli off.

"Hey now...let's not say something will regret, huh?" Nahida said, through the familiar gentle voice, "I won't regret anything that comes out of my mouth." You replied, not finding any reasons why Nahida should be insulted.

"By far, the only Archon that ever helped the Traveller was the Dendro Archon! And she was even locked up!" You said, "You, Barbatos, you just avoided any talk about traveller's twin. Morax, why did you sign a contract that silences you about their twin? Do they scare you that much? Are you really that weak and pathetic?" You said apathetically and sarcastically.

"I am under a contract, and I must abide by that contract," Zhongli replied with a more... confident form, you can't wait to crush it, "Didn't you also sign a contract with the mortals of Teyvat that you'd never hurt them? WELL WHAT ABOUT ME? WHY AM I AM EXCEPTION?" Technically, he didn't, but if they were gonna use lies and deception to win this argument, you might as well do the same.

"Because you're nothing but an Impostor, not even worthy to be called human" Ei said, striking her blade on your thigh, you gasped in pain. "Hah! And what are you? You were an Impostor that created another Impostor because you can't handle the guilt of being one!" At this point it was useless to argue, they were pissed off but the people? They don't believe you, but they've also lost faith to their Gods.

And so, what did you achieve? Death and your name on the history textbooks saying that you were the reason that Teyvat rebelled against their Gods...

So, are you ready to resurrect later in life to attack the Archons (verbally) once more?

Next chapter coming out idk when

[yanderepuck]

@lulu-the-smol-floof and I spent like 2 hours talking about the religions the guys were, so we looked it all up just to be sure. There are so many more arguments happening

Napoleon: was baptized into the Catholic faith as a child, however, he never became engrossed in the faith

Mozart: Catholic (and fairly religious)

Leonardo: more than likely Catholic. He referred to God as a supreme being. Could also be called a spiritual metaphysician.

Vincent: Protestant (father was priest, also nearly was a priest)

Theo: Protestant (father was priest)

Arthur: Catholic turned atheist(after studying medicine) then got interested in the occult.

Isaac: Born into an Anglican family, by his thirties held a Christian faith. Saw worshipping Christ as God was idolatry, to him the fundamental sin.

Jean: Catholic

Will: Protestant

Dazai: Christian but in the way that God is a punisher (in game possibly more Shinto since we see him in shrines)

Comte: He believes...in something

Sebastian: atheist but superstitious

Vlad: Eastern Roman Orthodox Catholic (going off Vlad in Impaler)

Faust: Protestant (was banned from churches tho)

Charles: Catholic

Drake: Protestant

Galileo: Roman Catholic (supported the church and hoped the church would support him, spoiler alert: they didn't)

~~

Fun lil thoughts now

Jean and Mozart are the only ones who go to church every Sunday.

Because here Leonardo is a pureblood, I think that maybe for a hot moment he was religious but very quickly turned his back on that.

Theo is SOOOOO mad that the three he hates the most are the only other Protestants. He's stuck with Will Faust and Drake.

Will actually grew up in the Church of England, which was possibly more Roman Catholic but when you look at his writing it reflects Protestant more.

Best part is that Faust is Protestant but Vlad has him working in a Catholic church. Vlad doesn't know the difference. Faust gives all his sermons in German and they aren't even sermons. He just bitches about this and gives out recipes, but Mozart is literally the only one who knows

Faust: I fucking hate this city. It's so dirty

Mozart: he's so right

Now bc they lean into Drake being more of a pirate, I don't think this man has much religion to him. He sticks to the pirate code. But I feel like if you showed him a sign of God he'd believe you.

Okay so Dazai. When we first talked about this we couldn't really find anything (I was honestly doing a quick Google search, not a deep dive), so we said he's probably Shinto, at least in game since we see him in shrines in some cgs. @tako-cafe informed me that he was first communist (when growing up) and then Christian, but int he way that God is here to punish/torture us bc humans themselves are sin and cannot escape it.

Arthur went atheist once he discovered science basically.

Isaac is actually right with the idolizing thing. It's actually blasphemous to have depictions of Jesus on a cross, or having a place dedicated to God. But that part sort of got lost bc obvs churches don't want you to know that. Also, he's just a god fearing man.

Isaac: going to church is a sin

Jean, across the room: ITS WHAT

That being said, Christmas Day, aka Isaac's birthday, Isaac and Arthur are the only ones at the mansion in the morning.

Dazai is going bc they have snacks. Sebastian is going because ..well.. we shouldn't trust them all to behave.

Back to Dazai. If we stick with him being Shinto, everyone in the mansion finds it weird as hell. Sebastian has to tell them that "no. This is actually the religion, not just weird things Dazai does"

Meanwhile Dazai is like "I need to go feed the frogs goldfish so that we have good weather"

Oh? Comte? Yeah. He believes. In what? He believes

Also, keep in mind that even tho that most of them are Catholic, they are all from different countries and time periods where being Catholic meant different things.

[rvspecter]

About the "would you actually date Harvey Specter" post:

The core question is does Donna exist in this universe where this is possible. Bc if she exists I'm cooked and I wouldn't go near that situation.

But if not,

So here's the thing. Does he want to be dating me. Bc the Scottie thing earned him worst bf of the year, but also clearly bc he wasn't invested in it at all.

The comment about his anger issues feels valid but also he is so unseriously angry most of the time, like he'd be a brat and throw a fit and then I'd be like "stop being a bitch" and he'd be fine again idk. His emotional intelligence is in the negatives, which is bad, but he is able to occasionally talk about feelings which gives me hope. He's a workaholic but that wouldn't be an issue for me personally bc I am the kind of person that's better off having my own life and then savoring the time I do get with my partner, y'know?? I joke all the time that I need to date a med student who pulls like 16 hr days who i never really see but I cuddle with when they come home at night lmao.

Also even tho his emotional state is a huge red flag for most of the series (except when he finally gets with Donna heyo), I have a history of being down bad for emotionally unavailable tall men who literally don't know shit about engaging in a romantic relationship so I'm like yeah exactly I could do this lmao. I'd also be convinced I could fix him, personal red flag. Alsjskdjdj I just think this is such funny discourse

omg dying DYING ACTUALLY DYING AHSHAHAHHAHA idk if donna exists in this harvey specter x reader universe we haven't thought past tearing his clothes off but i love how ur going thru all the points I LOVE IT!!

YESSS HE WAS A TERRIBLE BF TO SCOTTIE but also... she kind of pushed him into it because he just wanted her to be around???

re: his anger issues r actually so funny because he gets his feelings hurt ALL THE TIME. but i think ur right in that he calms down quickly?? like remember that scene where he was CRAZY screaming at louis (because mike just screamed at him for interfering with his life) in s6 and donna sees it and she goes HARVEY ENOUGH and he tucks his tail away and retreats (but never apologizes to louis cries)

also rigghhhtttt his emotional intelligence is a problem but he gives enough signs of life that i'd think 'yeah we can work with this I CAN FIX HIMMMMMM'✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

the pjo tv show is making me have thoughts about hephaestus & apollo’s dynamic, as well as apollo & ares dynamic — so i was wondering if you had any hcs for either duo or both !!

GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE

I do for sure have some Thoughts on Apollo & Ares so I shall start there.

Apollo & Ares

Favorite Son and Least Favorite Son.

After Apollo was born, we all know he went on a mission to avenge his mom. That included killing Python, but I also headcanon this preteen storming up to Ares and demanding a fight for his mom's honor.

This was brought on because in the mythos, Ares actually chased Leto around and drove her from place to place, never letting her rest for long.

Obviously, Apollo isn't too keen on this and demands a duel.

Ares takes one look at this kid and goes you know what? I like his spunk. I'm keeping him. and lo and behold Apollo gets distracted by Ares showing him how to properly grip a sword's blade.

Also fun fact! In Ancient Greece, fathers raised their sons and mothers the daughters. Fathers would teach their sons how to swim and write, so this gets interesting once you put ToA's context with it.

In all honesty, I don't think Zeus was too involved in Apollo's growth. He was still there, of course! Enough to have a hold on him and. well. manipulate/gaslight him/abuse him.

However heartbreaking it would be to think about Zeus teaching Apollo these things (my heart. my poor sobbing heart.), I would also find it heartwarming if Ares did that instead.

Or Poseidon. But I personally think he taught Apollo how to ride horses. Let Ares have his thing :3

Because wouldn't it make sense that if Zeus couldn't find the time teach Apollo, then that responsibility would fall to the eldest son?

Jump to the giant twins now.

Apollo helps Ares recover. That is all.

THEY WERE ON THE SAME SIDE IN THE TROJAN WAR !!!!!!

Okay so. Diomedes tried to stab Apollo a few times when he was rescuing Aeneus, and Apollo CANONICALLY tells Ares about it - and lo and behold, Ares gets into a fight with Diomedes (and gets shish-kabobbed).

SO I CONCLUDE-

Apollo: Diomedes tried to stab me :(

Ares: WHAT.

Apollo: Yeah three times.

Ares: WHY.

Apollo: Aphrodite's kid? Aeneus? I was saving his ass after Diomedes stabbed Aphrodite.

Ares: THAT BITCH.

Apollo: But don't worry I took care of it-

Ares, picking up his spear and sword: HE SHALL TREMBLE BEFORE MY FURY. NOT EVEN HIS ARMOR WILL MARK HIS GRAVE WHEN I FINISH WITH HIM. HE SHALL CHOKE ON THE BLOOD HE HAS SPILT AND I SHALL LAUGH AS HIS CORPSE DECAYS. HE WILL RUE THE DAY HE HARMED EITHER OF YOU-

Apollo: he didn't touch me tho-

Ares: BUT HE TRIED!

Ares, snapping his cape: I shall take my leave. Got a bastard to stab. rides down and fights beside Hector. gets stabbed by Diomedes.

Ares, clutching his stomach: ...this didn't go as planned.

Apollo, patching it up after Zeus yelled at Ares: you don't say?

anyway. Apollo & Ares would also watch battlefields and Ares would basically be like "right. this is how to properly disembowel your enemies!" gruesomely decapitates some poor mortal. "See? Easy!"

also they would sing!!! war hymns and other things. Ares can dance too btw :3

also when Aphrodite and Apollo were polyculing with Adonis, Ares was doublely jealous because Adonis is 1) taking the attention of his girlfriend and 2) banging his favorite brother

Ares also cautioned Apollo about drawing too much attention to himself, especially Zeus's.

Too bad Apollo didn't quite take it to heart...

I think Ares already knows Apollo is being abused by Zeus. He knows the signs. He knows what's happening...because it happened to him first.

He would drop hints. Which...weren't very subtle, and kinda freaked Apollo out a bit because ohmygodsdoesheknow-?

And when Revolution time came around? You bet Ares sensed it coming from a mile away.

And perhaps he did...hmm...like with the master bolt theft...ooo gonna have to marinate that for a bit. see what i can cook up there. or if any of you have theories shoot them at me!

back to the thing. Once Ares catches wind It's A Go...he's gonna be on Apollo's side. Because godsdammit he's sick of Zeus and his horrible parenting a good war would give him a clean slate.

...Even if he has to put up with both Hera and Athena.

Apollo & Hephaestus

okay so. I haven't thought much about them because they are elusive for me BUT-

The show gave me a THOUGHT!

"Some of us don't like being that way either."

HEPHAESTUS DOESN'T LIKE THE SYSTEM. HE DOESN'T! HE HATES GOING ALONG WITH IT!

MY FIRST THOUGHT WHEN I HEARD THOSE WORDS?

APOLLO

he doesn't want to be part of it either. but he buried it inside himself. but post toa...he doesn't want to do that anymore.

and I think Apollo does like Hephaestus! I remember there was a moment where Apollo mentions being in his study or something and missing the entire 40s or whatever staring at Hephaestus's Newton's Cradle.

why was apollo in there. and did hephaestus let him in there?

BECAUSE HEPHAESTUS IS A PRIVATE GUY RIGHT? WHAT'S APOLLO DOING IN A PRIVATE ROOM OF HIS?

...unless he invited him in :D

I need to do a lil' more digging on Hephaestus and Apollo but I hope this was all interesting :3

feel free to add on readers!

[cry-ptidd]

Me and my sister watched Hellsing together. Here's her opinion on the characters

- Alucard: "He's a cunt, but he's entertaining. I'd probably pay to see him in a strip club. I didn't like him and his shit-eating grin and 'master' bullshit at first, but he grew on me quick and i don't like that he grew on me. He's a complex character, and he's hot asf when he cries. Also I wish we'd seen his Dracula form for longer; that was awesome. Him and Anderson had a thing going on."

- Seras: "Didn't really mind her at first, but liked her after she drank blood. Her transformation and the guns are really fucking cool. I didn't like her voice and her whining at first but it got better after a few episodes. I like her when her personality became a little bit more spunky. Her story's fucked up."

- Integra: "Absolute bad bitch. Her attitude reminds me of myself so idk if I should like it or hate it, she's got a lot of pride which I respect. Really human and I like it, she takes no one's shit and she's a badass. Didn't even FLINCH when she got her eye shot out. Girlboss. She gives me ace vibes also."

- Walter: "I liked him, he was funny. And then he betrayed everyone and became emo. He gave good advice, and he was cool as hell with that wise older veteran vibe. I'm disappointed in him, but the plot twist was actually good. You'd notice the signs if you suspected him from the beginning."

- Pip: "He's FINE. I'd braid his hair any day. I was in love and then I mourned. I'm widowed. He was hilarious, plus his voice actor nailed the French. My favorite character. Screeched when he came back. He's a good leader and I loved his speeches, also his death made me cry. And I don't often cry when watching anime."

- Anderson: "kinda neutral. I didn't like him at first, he was obnoxious as fuck. Then he respected women and opposed Maxwell and his orders so he grew in my esteem a bit. His character is cool as fuck tho. I wish he didn't turn into a monster, he fell to the same level as Alucard. It's like human greed or desperation for power. Him and Alucard had a thing going on."

- Enrico Maxwell: "Lucius Malfoy. I hate him but not the one I hate most."

- Heinkel & Yumie: "Really like these two lesbians. So cool and I respect their resolve, especially Heinkel's. Rip Yumi. You were cool. Heinkel being intersex is a dope detail, she's very androgynous too. I like their designs."

- The major: "Augustus Gloop? I like the fact he refused vampirism, that was cool, but he's an actual fucking sociopath and I hate him"

- The Captain: "Ngl, I actually find him quite dope, aside from the nazi thing. Literally no one respected him, that shit had me crying. His face is pretty and his tits are big, even if he looks a bit goofy at times. Wish we'd seen more of him. I felt kinda bad when he got defeated."

- Schrödinger: "I want this thing dead"

- Rip van winkle: "She gives me the vibes of a Dr Seuss character."

- Zorin: "Bleach Ichigo knockoff. Fuck this bitch in particular I hate her"

- The Valentine brothers: "A slav squat necrophile and his gay brother that used to be a runway model but got cancelled after a scandal"

Overall: A hit, neither of us expected her to like it. She likes the political and literary aspects, and also finds the characters interesting. She doesn't really know how to feel about the ending; she considers it realistic and a good end, but she wished it was more epic. But from a writing perspective it's good. Also she lowkey wished Alucard would turn Integra into a vampire, just because it would be cool. Now we send each other memes about it. She calls Nendocard a whore when she passes by him, but says she'd buy a Pip nendo in a heartbeat

[s-4pphics]

surprise!!! rubs hands deviously together!! 

hi guyth…. more richsnob!oc x meanmechanic!ellie even tho she’s not that mean🥺

wc;cw: 1.6k oooo, smut MDNI!!!, not proofread bc who cares :p, ellie’s a whiny sub im breaking my silence, eating out no cheesecake factory, slight degradation, one pussy slap sorry can’t help myself, nipple play, pain kink lol(scratching), choking mmm, exhibitionism?!😳, no aftercare bc oc is a cunt, some dirty talk bc i’m a loser, dassit real cute

“you’re so gorgeous, honey.” 

you were smiling so hard in this dingy, dimly lit bathroom. 

“t-thanks.” 

you nodded at her, hanging your chanel bag on the doorknob. you slowly unbuttoned your pink, cashmere celine sweater, hanging it on the hook on the bathroom door. and she watched your every move. ellie’s stuttering made you smile harder as you slowly walked towards her, your glittery heels clicking on the tile. she was looking you up and down, eyeing your lace bra-covered chest. you could hear her breaths pick up in pace with every step you took, and you loved how nervous you made her. you were going to swallow her whole, eat her alive, rip her apart—

“are we… are we gonna have sex in here?” ellie whispered, her breath brushing your cheesing face. 

“‘m not fucking you, you’re filthy. would’ve fucked you in my bed but you wanted to be a stubborn bitch and try to embarrass me,” you said with a bright grin, but your tone was sinister. she shuddered and you saw the blush across her freckles get deeper. 

“‘m sorry—“

“be quiet. no you’re not,” your smile dropped as your stare harderend. her breath caught in her throat at your tone. “you hurt my feelings, y’know that right? you denied me in public, i couldn’t believe it.” 

she looked so cute: she was staring at the floor, her thighs were squeezing together through her dirty, grease-stained jeans, her fingers twitching, and fuck, you wanted her so bad. you were so wet.

“look at me, baby.” 

her eyes flickered to yours, slowly and dazedly blinking like a kitty signing i love you! fuck, you love her, you love her—!

you leaned forward like you were going to kiss her, her eyes fluttering shut and parting her lips like she wanted your tongue inside her fucking throat. but you stopped her. “take your pants off, honey.” 

her eyes slowly peered open to look down at your lips before she snapped herself out of her daze, kicking her boots off and reaching to undo her belt before shoving them down her legs. and you just watched. 

“get up there,” you said as you nodded your head towards the sink and counter by the wall. she almost tripped over her own feet(and boots) as she rushed over, jumping to sit on top of it.

you walked over to her and she automatically parted her legs so you could stand in between them, propping herself up on her hands behind her. she was showing you the little wet stain on her green boyshorts. she’s so cute! 

“should’ve left that fucking door open, hm? so everybody can watch you be a disgusting fucking slut?” you whispered in her face as you glared at her. 

she flinched at your tone, but her hips bucked up to lightly brush against your thighs with a whine. you scolded her with a sharp don't fuckin’ touch me. her eyes got teary, but she listened. 

“should i open that fucking door?” 

she shook her head fast with a pout on her pink lips. 

“answer properly.” 

“…no,” she said shyly. she looked up at you with gentle eyes, giving you cute touch me, please! make me feel good! eyes. 

you smirked at her before reaching behind your neck, unclasping your 18K white gold diamond chanel necklace and put it around her neck. she whimpered and bit her lip before licking them. 

“yeah? like being pretty? you’re so fuckin’ pretty, ellie.” you cooed at her, slowly dragging your hands to her chest so you could grab her tits through her tee. it was filthy, but you didn’t care because she threw her head back, her bandana slipping off her damp head and onto the sink. all you had to do was grab it and tie her fucking hands together and make her—

“touch me please, fuck, want you to touch me s’bad,” she slurred out quietly, bringing her mouth up to kiss you but you moved back, grabbing her throat in your manicured hand. she moaned at your tightening grip, her eyes fluttering. fuckherfuckherfuckher—

she had a small grimace on her face like she was preparing for a scolding, but all you did was kiss her cheeks, her nose, her forehead, all while you choked her out. you felt her grinding down hard on the counter. 

“want me to make you cum?” you whispered in her ear before you licked it. 

“need you t’make me cum, need you need you, m’yours,” she gasped out. 

and you released her to drop into a squat, right in front of her clothed pussy. you grabbed the elastic of her boyshorts and ripped them off. damn near tore them to shreds to get them down her legs. and you almost creamed yourself at the sight of her cunt, all wet and twitchy and yours.

so pretty! you thought. ruin her, make her bruise! 

“pleeasse, pleasepleaseplease,” she desperately whispered out. 

“please what?” 

“make me cum, w’na cum for you, all over you,” she said between choked gasps. you didn’t even touch her, yet! 

and you gave her that sugary sweet smile you always have on when you see her before leaning forward to give her clit a slow kitten lick. her thighs jerked up to spread her legs more, but you dug your nails into them to bring them back down. she moaned out again. fucking painslut. you dug them in harder, and she got wetter on your tongue. 

“want me t’hurt you, baby?” you moaned out against her, and she shook her head yesyesyes before you could even finish speaking. 

“don’t touch me, you understand?” you whispered against her. she nodded faster. 

“say you understand, ellie.” 

“iunderstandiunderstand!” 

you grinned as you pressed a glossy kiss on her swollen clit before you pulled her to the edge of the counter by her thighs, sucking her clit into your mouth without warning. 

you heard her let out a quiet mhm! when you hummed at her taste and her smell, reaching a hand up to raise her white tee up and over her tits. you slapped one of them before bringing your hand back to her thigh. 

“touch ‘em for me, i’m busy,” you muttered against her before diving in again, flicking your tongue on her bud. she was a mess above you: head thrown back, lip between her teeth so she wouldn’t scream out, grabbing and pulling at her nipples with grease-stained hands while your necklace shimmered under the dirty lights, all while she bucked up against your face to get your tongue deeper. 

you were swirling your tongue and sucking on her as quickly as you could manage. you still had to get your fucking car! 

“ffuuuck, ‘m right there—!”

“yeah, honey? gonna cum?” you hummed against her, right on her clit. 

“m-mhm! shit, ‘m gonna cum so fast—“

and there was a knock on the door, a male voice shouting out. “yo, ellie! you in there?” 

and she jumped. she tried to close her legs and run, but you held her down to suck on her clit harder. you watched her eyes roll back into her skull as she almost fell forward. 

“we gotta charge that rich girl for her window repairs!” the same voice yelled out, knocking harder. 

so you sucked on her harder, sloppy noises filling the grungy bathroom. she was whining out quiet uhhuuhs while she bucked up against your mouth in attempts to ride your face. you felt her pussy tensing and all you could think was minemineminemineshesfuckingmine—

“did you see that fuckin’ necklace she was wearin’? it looked like it was weighin’ her down!” 

and you felt ellie freeze up before a squeal of fuck‘mcumming! left her mouth as she fell back on the counter, her pussy tensing and releasing on your tongue. her slick poured out of her pussy, and you slurped it all, sloppily licking up her juices as you shook your head between her trembling thighs. she was moaning your name along with fucks and yes’s with her head thrown back as her hands held the edge of the counter, and you watched it all. you loved it all. fuck, you’re going to marry her—

you hummed in satisfaction, and she jerked in overstimulation. she whined out at your incessant sucks before you released her, slapping her clit hard before standing. your knees snapped; this was the hardest you worked in your life! 

“ellie, what the fuck?! are you good?!” the male voice yelled out from the other side. 

the girl didn’t reply and you laughed at her slumped, gasping form, her pussy still twitching lightly due to how hard she came. the little devil on your shoulder snickered at you, patting your shoulder in hysteria. you laughed harder with her. 

you turned and walked back to the door grabbing your sweater to put it on before snatching your purse off the knob. hm, you never locked the door. you’re glad you didn’t! 

you opened it and walked out, making sure to block ellie’s… state on the counter. you shut it and turned, making eye contact with an intimidated, shocked young man. jesse, his tag read. he was also dirty, you hated it. 

“hi! i heard my car was ready?” you said brightly, masking your disdain. your girlfriend's pussy juice was still on your lips. 

“um… yes. the pink bentley with the smashed window?” he stuttered out as his blush deepened. 

“mhm! will you ring me up?” you asked sweetly, pulling out your black card and handing it to him, and he nodded slowly as he took it. 

what a fun first date! 

meep c:

p3 to this.