#this became much longer than i meant for it to be but
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AGAINST THE TIDE: PART NINE
paige x azzi
word count: 6.4k
A/N: Alright Iâm feeling much better and Iâm no longer losing my shit after CD said she wouldnât call it an injury đââïž. Hereâs the next chapter! Itâs a little rough at the beginning but just get through it trust me . Please leave live reacts if you can, I need a little extra motivation today đ
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October 2022
For weeks after their argument, Paige kept her word. She stayed true to her role as Azziâs best friend and was there anytime the younger girl needed her, it didnât matter what she was doing, she was there. She did make Azzi stop coming with her to physical therapy though, and Nika had stepped in to take her place. Physical therapy always got a little too intimate when theyâd ask whoever accompanied Paige to push on her knee and Paige knew that she and Azzi couldnât handle that right now. They still spent time togetherâPaige helping Azzi in the gym here and there, texting during the day, hanging out sporadically, studyingâbut everything had changed. There were clear lines now. They didnât flirt, they didnât touch in ways that meant anything more than friendship. It was as though they were back to where they started, but it was painfully different.
Paige had started hanging out more with Ice, the freshman who quickly became a source of amusement for her. Ice's humor was dry and a little corny, and Paige found herself genuinely laughing more than she had since her and Azzi ended things. If thatâs what you would call it. But even with Iceâs company, there were still moments when she couldnât help but think about Azzi. It wasnât that she didnât love their friendship now, but it didnât fill the large space Azzi once occupied when they were clearly more than friends.
Ice leaned back in her chair, her expression one of pure disbelief. âThatâs bullshit. I refuse to believe there was a point when you and Azzi didnât like each other.â
Paige chuckled, shaking her head. âI swear, we couldnât stand each other. Every little thing she did annoyed me and she hated me honestly.â
Ice raised an eyebrow, smirking. âAnd now look at you, a full-blown simp. How the tables have turned.â
Paige rolled her eyes, though a grin tugged at her lips. âYeah, yeah, laugh it up.â
âSo howâd you two even get past that?â Ice asked, leaning forward with genuine curiosity. âLike, howâd you go from âcanât stand each otherâ toâŠâ she gestured vaguely, âthis?â
Paigeâs laugh softened, and she shrugged. âThe gym, mostly. We kinda connected over basketball first. That was the one thing we could agree on. At first, we only talked about basketballânothing else. But once we built a decent foundation of not wanting to kill each other every two seconds, we started hanging out more. It justâŠhappened from there.â
Ice nodded thoughtfully, then shrugged. âWhy donât you just do that again this time then?â
Paige gave her a look. âWe donât need to build a foundation, Ice. Sheâs still my best friend.â
âRighttt,â Ice said, dragging out the word with heavy sarcasm. âYour best friend that youâre in love with, and you havenât seen in like five days.â
Paige rolled her eyes again, though a faint blush crept up her cheeks. âWe text.â
Ice snorted. âThatâs not the same, and you know it.â
Paige shrugged again, a small smile playing on her lips. âItâs just⊠a little hard to be around each other sometimes now.â
Ice narrowed her eyes suspiciously. âWhy?â
Paige didnât answer, but the grin on her face grew wider, her expression practically glowing with unspoken thoughts.
Ice groaned, throwing her head back dramatically. âEw, dude. Youâre disgusting.â
Paige just laughed, grabbing a basketball nearby and bouncing it lightly off Iceâs arm. âShut up.â
But as the laughter faded, Paigeâs expression softened, her smile dimming into something more thoughtful. âHonestly though, Azzi just needs some space from me to figure things out, and Iâm trying to give her that.â
Ice tilted her head, her curiosity piqued. âSpace for what?â
Paige hesitated, her fingers idly spinning the basketball in her lap. She glanced away briefly before answering, her tone careful and measured. âShe has a lot of internal things to figure out before she can even think about being with me. I realized it a while ago but I donât know if she has.â
Iceâs brow furrowed, but she nodded slowly. âThat sounds⊠rough.â
âIt is,â Paige admitted, her voice quieter now. âBut sheâs worth it. So Iâm giving her what she needs.â
Ice studied her for a moment, then leaned back with a small smile. âDamn P, you really love her, huh?â
Paige didnât even flinch. She met Iceâs gaze, a soft but unwavering certainty in her eyes. âYeah, I do.â
Ice smirked, her teasing tone returning. âYouâre still a simp, though.â
Paige groaned, chucking the basketball at her again, though the grin tugging at her lips betrayed her. âShut up, Ice.â
November 2022
The next month was much harder than Paige thought it would be. Between missing Azzi and being sidelined by her injury and not being able to start the season with the team, she felt like she was drowning most days. Basketball, her usual escape, was no longer an option. Instead, she found herself in the gym, not to work out but to just sit in the silence, wishing she could push her body for hours on end. But eventually sheâd get too frustrated when all she could do was shoot a few flat footed shots and she'd just let herself cry in the empty gym until she didnât have any more energy. Other times, sheâd just sit in her car, staring ahead, trying to calm her thoughts. More than once, she ended up sick at the sight of the back seatâa painful reminder of what, and who, was missing.
Azzi wasnât doing much better. Sheâd become a mirror of who Paige used to be, burying herself in the gym day and night, trying to outrun her thoughts. Paige was still there for her, though, which made Azzi feel like even more of an ass, having somebody as sweet as Paige, just waiting for her to get her shit together. When things were a little too hard and Azzi would come to her door with tear stained eyes in the middle of the night Paige always let her in, let her talk about whatever she needed to or just sleep. The first time it happened was a random Tuesday at 3am.
Azziâs knocks were gentle and tentative at first but it was enough for Paige to stir, her mind still fuzzy from sleep as the knock came again, a little louder this time. She groggily threw off her blanket and shuffled to the door, blinking against the dim hallway light cascading from the bottom of the door.
When she opened it, Azzi stood there, her mascara streaked down her cheeks, her eyes red and swollen, as though the weight of the world had poured out of her. There were no words, no explanations, just a look that said everything, Paige didnât ask, she just stepped aside, letting Azzi into the warmth of the room. Azziâs shoulders were trembling, but she didnât speak, her chest rising and falling in slow uneven breaths. Paige closed the door softly behind her, then walked back to her bed, sinking back into the mattress where Azzi now laid, holding one of Paigeâs pillows close.
Paige reached over, draping her arm against Azziâs torso as she pulled her closer but not quite cuddling her. Just enough to let Azzi know she wasnât alone as Paigeâs eyes fluttered shut drifting back to sleep.
After that night Paige couldnât imagine not being there for Azzi, knowing what she was struggling with. But things werenât the same. They didnât text everyday anymore, and their hangouts had all but stopped after it became clear that they didnât really know how to be just friends anymore. The space between them, once so easy to close, now felt like an endless stretch.
Azzi blamed herself for what happened between them. She was constantly fighting an internal battle that seemed like a losing game. One part of her knew exactly how she felt about Paige, knew she wanted the older girl more than anything. The other half was a constant pull against this thought process. The part of her brain that was telling her she wasnât the type of person who takes risks like this, she didnât gamble her future that she had worked so hard for. Constantly in her own ear telling herself she had every right to be scared.
Now, Paige sat alone in the empty gym, her legs stretched out in front of her, a basketball resting at her feet. She knew she couldnât play much, just dribble around and shoot here and there, so she came here to think, to feel some semblance of peace. The quiet of the gym was comforting, even if it couldnât heal what was broken, only Azzi could do that.
The sound of the door opening broke the silence. Paige glanced up to see Azzi standing there, her figure framed by the dim gym lights. Azzi paused, stuck in the doorway. The sight of Paige, lost in thought, felt all too familiar, stirring memories of another time theyâd both hesitated to bridge the distance between them.
For a moment, neither of them spoke, both caught in a whirlwind of emotions and memories. Paige chuckled softly at the irony, breaking the tension, and nudged the ball with her foot, sending it rolling toward Azzi.
Azziâs lips curved into a small smile as she stepped inside, picking up the ball. She hesitated again, glancing at Paige, before making her way over. She sat down beside her but left enough space between them to keep the air light, uncertain. Neither of them spoke right away, the quiet wrapping around them like a truce.
Paige was the first to break the silence, her voice cutting through the stillness. âYou played like shit last game.â
Azzi blinked, then burst out laughing, the unexpectedness of Paigeâs comment catching her off guard. âShit is an understatement,â she admitted, shaking her head.
Paige smirked, leaning back slightly. âWhatâd you come here to work on?â
Azzi shrugged, a noncommittal gesture. âAnything, I guess.â
Paige hummed thoughtfully as she got to her feet, grabbing the ball. Iceâs words from October echoing in her mind now. She spun the ball between her hands, glancing at Azzi. âWhy you been taking so long to shoot lately?â
Azzi crossed her arms, tilting her head. âThe passes are all over the place,â she said simply. âI got used to you hitting me in stride so itâs a big adjustment.â
Paige paused, nodding as she processed Azziâs words. There was a quiet understanding in the airâan acknowledgment of how much they relied on each other, on and off the court.
By now, Azzi had stood up, her eyes tracking the ball as Paige passed it casually between her hands. Paige grinned. âLetâs work on it.â
Azzi raised a brow, confused. âWork on what?â
Paige laughed, her grin widening. âIâm about to throw you some of the worst passes of your life, and youâre gonna work on shooting without taking too much time to adjust the ball.â
Azzi couldnât help but laugh at that, shaking her head in disbelief. âYouâre ridiculous,â she said, but her feet were already carrying her toward the court.
Before they began, Azzi paused and looked at Paige. âI miss you,â she said softly, her voice carrying the weight of everything left unsaid between them.
Paigeâs expression softened, and a small, genuine smile spread across her face. âI miss you too, Az,â she replied, her tone equally tender. Then, without missing a beat, she threw Azzi an intentionally terrible pass, the ball veering off to the side.
Azzi barely managed to catch it, quickly gathering herself for the shot, but the ball clanged off the rim.
Paige smirked. âNot bad. Now do it faster and try making it next time.â
Azzi rolled her eyes but couldnât fight the smile tugging at her lips. They fell into an easy rhythm after that, Paige throwing increasingly awful passes, and Azzi working to shoot without hesitation. Laughter echoed through the gym when the passes were too bad to catch, blending with the rhythmic sound of the ball hitting the hardwood.
For the first time in a long time, it felt like they were back in syncâno words needed, just the game and each other.
The rhythm they had fallen into was effortless, the sound of Azziâs playlist flowing through the speakers now as they worked on her shot. Laughter occasionally filled the gym, the tension from the past weeks melting away with every pass and shot.
That is, until the music cut off, replaced by the ring of an incoming call.
Azzi, mid-dribble, glanced toward her phone sitting on the floor. âCan you check who it is?â she asked Paige, who was closer.
Paige hesitated for a moment before walking over. She glanced at the screen, the name flashing boldly. Her jaw tightened ever so slightly, but it was enough for Azzi to notice. Paige cleared her throat. âSomebody named Elle,â she said, her tone a little too neutral.
Azzi didnât miss the shift in Paigeâs posture or the way her eyes flicked away from the phone. She didnât need Paige to say anything; she could see the wheels turning in her head.
âItâs not what you think, Paige,â Azzi said, her voice firm but gentle.
Paige shook her head, brushing it off with a forced smile. âNo, Azzi, you donât have to explainââ
âPaige,â Azzi cut her off, stepping closer. âSheâs my partner for a project. Thatâs it.â
Paige looked down, her fingers grazing the edge of her shirt. âItâs fine if it was something else you know,â she said softly, though the words felt hollow even to her.
âNo, it isnât,â Azzi said firmly, her voice leaving no room for doubt in Paigeâs mind. âIt isnât fine because I donât want anybody else. I only want you, Paige. Iâve told you that, and I mean it.â
Paigeâs shoulders sagged slightly, guilt flashing across her face. âIâm sorry,â she murmured. âI know itâs not really my place.â
Azzi stepped even closer, her eyes searching Paigeâs. âIt is your place,â she said, her voice softer now. âSo you donât need to apologize.â
Paige glanced at her, caught in the sincerity of Azziâs gaze. The tension in the air softened, the weight between them shifting back into something warm and steady.
âOkay,â Paige finally said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Azzi nodded, giving her a small smile. âGood. Now come back over hereâIâm not done getting used to these terrible passes.â
Paige chuckled despite herself, picking up the ball. And just like that, they found their rhythm again, though the words exchanged lingered, a quiet reassurance binding them closer.
After finishing up in the gym, both of them grabbed their things and headed out. Paige made her way toward her car, expecting Azzi to follow. But when she glanced over her shoulder, she noticed Azzi strolling casually along the sidewalk.
Paige frowned, stopping in her tracks. âWhat are you doing?â she called out.
Azzi glanced back with a small shrug. âI didnât drive.â
Paigeâs eyes widened in disbelief, a mix of offense and exasperation flashing across her face. âYou thought I was going to let you walk?â she said, her tone incredulous.
Azzi chuckled but didnât respond, her smile widening as Paige simply muttered, âUnbelievable.â
With a grin, Azzi turned and walked toward Paigeâs car. Paige muttered under her breath the whole time, just loud enough for Azzi to hear. âSheâs gotta be crazy. Canât believe she thought Iâd let her walk. Who does she think I am?â
When they reached the car, Paige yanked open the passenger door, motioning for Azzi to get in. Azzi stepped in with a laugh, and Paige shut the door with more force than necessary, her irritation over something so small almost comical.
By the time Paige slid into the driverâs seat, Azzi was grinning at her. âI miss how dramatic you are,â she teased, still laughing softly.
Paige shot her a glare as she started the car. âYou give me a fucking headache Azzi,â she said, but there was no bite to her words.
When they arrived back at the dorms, Paigeâs suite came up first. She slowed to a stop, slinging her bag over her shoulder and turning toward Azzi.
âNight,â Paige said, already halfway to the door.
Azzi nodded but didnât keep walking. âPaige,â she called, her voice stopping Paige in her tracks.
Paige turned back, raising an eyebrow slightly, her curiosity piqued. âYeah?â
Azzi hesitated for a moment, then smiled softly. âIâve been thinkingâŠcan we maybe talk tomorrow?â
Paige blinked, her confusion evident, but she nodded. âYeah⊠of course,â she said, her tone cautious.
Azziâs smile widened a little , though she didnât offer any explanation. âIâll text you,â she said simply.
Paige gave her a small smile in return. âOkay. Goodnight, Az.â
âGoodnight, P,â Azzi replied, her voice quiet but warm as she turned to walk toward her own suite.
Paige lingered for a second, watching Azziâs retreating figure, her mind swirling with questions. Finally, she shook her head and headed inside, her thoughts lingering on the way Azzi had looked at her just now.
âŠ
The next day, around 1 PM, Paigeâs phone buzzed with a text from Azzi.
đ: You hungry? Letâs grab some food
Paige smiled at the message, typing a quick reply.
P đ: Yeah that works for me
It didnât take long for Azzi to reply.
đ: Weâre taking my car.
Paige frowned slightly, shooting back a quick question mark.
P đ: ?
The response came almost immediately.
đ: I almost threw up in your car yesterday when Steve Lacy came on
Paige let out a loud laugh, immediately understanding what Azzi was referring to as she had her own struggles being in there sometimes. She shook her head, typing back with a smirk.
P đ: Thatâs dramatic, even for you
Azziâs reply was short but effective.
đ: Not taking any chances
Still chuckling, Paige grabbed her things, her mood lighter than it had been in days. Azzi always had a way of pulling her out of her head, even with something as simple as sending a few texts.
They sat down at a corner table, the comforting hum of the restaurant around them as they ate their Chipotle bowls. The familiar, easy chatter filled the space between them yesterday being what they needed to return to the natural rhythm of their friendship, the laughter, and the simple joy of each other's company.
But, as the conversation slowly died down, Azzi looked at Paige, her expression shifting slightly.
âI want us to start over,â Azzi said quietly, her voice soft but serious.
Paige blinked, furrowing her brow. âStart over? What do you mean?â
Azzi took a deep breath, clearly trying to find the right words. âI want us to try this again, butââ she paused, trying to make sure she found the right words. âI want us to do it the right way this time.â
Paige tilted her head, her confusion evident but her tone gentle with Azzi like always. âAzzi, what are you saying?â
Azziâs gaze was unwavering as she leaned forward slightly, the space between them feeling more intimate. âI want us to date, Paige,â she said, her voice steady.
Paigeâs eyebrows furrowed for a moment before a soft, teasing smile tugged at her lips. âSo... you want to be my girlfriend now?â
Azzi hesitated, her fingers tapping gently against the edge of the table. âNoâŠat least not yet,â she said, her voice calm but firm. âI want us to go on dates and test the waters. We did things the wrong way, and I want to fix it.â
Paigeâs eyes softened as a slow smile began to form on her lips. She leaned forward slightly, clearly proud of Azzi. âTell me more about it.â
Azzi smiled at the shift in Paigeâs expression, the spark of curiosity now in her eyes. âWe can go on dates,â Azzi continued, her voice steady as she outlined her plan she thought a lot about. âBut Iâm not going to let you kiss me until we have a few dates. And weâre not going to have sex for a while, or weâre going to at least try really hard not to. I want us to get to know each other as two people dating, not just best friends who happen to be doing this.â
Paige nodded, as she listened to her. She hadnât expected Azzi to say something like this when she asked her to lunch today, but it made sense for her. It was a different approach, one that felt like it had the potential to be something more controlled. Something more grounded. Which is exactly what Azzi needed.
âSo, whereâs this coming from?â Paige asked, her voice low with curiosity but also a touch of tenderness. âI thought you wereââ
Azzi cut her off, her gaze soft but unwavering. âDespite what you think, Paige,â she said quietly, âIâm in love with you. These past few weeks have done nothing but show me that. Iâm still scared as hell, but I want to at least try.â
Paige swallowed, her heart beating a little faster at the sincerity in Azziâs voice. She really hadnât expected this, she expected Azzi to try to mend their friendship, try to get back to their usual routine of hanging out. But the more Paige thought about it she understood. Azzi was always so detailed and plan oriented. She always needed steps and checkpoints to ease her mind, to let her see the progress she was making.
âIâm not asking for anything,â Azzi continued, her voice a little shaky now that Paige hadnât said much. âI just want to start fresh. I want us to really try.â
Paige leaned back slightly, her arms folded across her chest as she processed Azziâs words. The weight of everything that had been said, everything that had been left unsaid, hung heavily in the air. She couldnât help but hesitate, uncertainty creeping in despite the hope in her chest.
âHow do I know youâre not just going to change your mind again?â Paige asked, her voice quiet. She wanted to believe Azzi, wanted to dive into this with her, but it was hard to shake that lingering fear of being hurt again.
Azzi didnât flinch at the question. She just looked at Paige, with a calmness that her voice conveyed when she answered. âYou donât,â she said simply. âThatâs the thing I had to get over. We donât really know whatâs going to happen. Thatâs been my fear this whole time. Not knowing. Not being in control of it. But we never know whatâs going to happen at any point in life so.â
Paigeâs gaze softened, and she nodded slowly, taking in what Azzi was saying. But Azzi wasnât done, and she shifted slightly, her hands in her lap as she continued.
âI was talking to my mom the other day,â Azzi began, her voice quieter now, but still with a hint of vulnerability. âAnd she tried to make me laugh by asking who shat in my breakfast. But honestly, it just made me cry more than anything.â
Paige couldnât help but chuckle, knowing exactly how Katie could be. âFigures,â she said with a soft smile, her heart lifting slightly at the mention of Azziâs mom.
Azzi smiled too, but the smile was fleeting, and the seriousness returned quickly. âYeah. But... I told her everything thatâs been going on. All of it. How I feel about you. About us.â She paused, her fingers nervously twisting the hem of her shirt. âSome parts of the story shocked her, honestly. I thought she was going to yell at me, but she didnât. She just listened.â
Paigeâs eyes widened a little, a surprise settling in her chest. She hadnât expected that. For Azzi to talk to her mom about them already? It was a huge step. It made her heart skip a littleâan odd mix of pride and tenderness swelling inside her knowing Azzi had come out to her mom.
âHow... how did it go?â Paige asked softly, unsure of how to phrase the question but needing to know. She could sense how much this conversation had meant to Azzi.
Azziâs lips curved into a small, reassuring smile. âIt was fine. Perfectly fine, actually,â she said, her voice steady now. âI thought it was going to be hard, but... she already kind of knew. I mean, sheâs not blind. She said she could tell something was going on, especially with how much time you spend at our place whenever weâre on break. She thought it was pretty obvious.â
Paige blinked in surprise. She hadnât thought Katie would pick up on that. âReally?â
Azzi nodded, her gaze soft but thoughtful. âYeah. Sheâs always been good at reading me, even when Iâm not saying anything. We were talking for a while after I explained everything... she said something that kinda struck a nerve.â Azziâs voice lowered again, a little more humor to it. âShe was explaining some stupid metaphor that I could never understand, and she said life is all about taking chances. Usually, the best onesâthe ones that really matterâare the ones that scare us the most.â
Azziâs eyes met Paigeâs, and there was something raw, something real, in the way she looked at her. âAnd you scare the hell out of me, Paige,â she said quietly, her words filled with sincerity. âSo thatâs exactly why I canât just let us pass by. I canât keep living in the âwhat ifs.â Iâve been too afraid, and Iâm tired of being afraid.â
Finally, Paige let out a deep breath and reached across the table, her hand finding Azziâs with a gentle squeeze. âIâm scared too,â Paige admitted softly.
Azziâs eyes softened, and she squeezed Paigeâs hand in return, her voice barely above a whisper. âIâm not asking for anything more than what I said. I just want to try, Paige. I want us to take it slow, to get to know each other again and see where it goes.â
Paigeâs smile was small but genuine, her heart fluttering at the thought of what could be. âOkay. Weâll try,â she said, the words feeling right. âWeâll take it slow.â
Azziâs smile mirrored hers, though it was still laced with vulnerability.
âŠ
This is how, a few days later, Paige and Azzi were on their first date.
Azzi had initially tried to take the reins, attempting to plan every detail, but Paige quickly vetoed the idea, claiming sheâd been waiting for months to make this happen. Azzi didnât even try to argue with that logic.
Now, they were on their way to a mystery destination Paige refused to disclose, with music filling the car. The ride was easy, lighthearted, and full of laughterâuntil Azzi reached out and skipped another Steve Lacy song.
Paige couldnât help but laugh, glancing over at her. âWhat? Are we never listening to the album again?â
Azzi shot her a glare but couldnât entirely hide the amused glint in her eyes. âNot for a long time, weâre not,â she retorted firmly, her voice dripping with mocking distress.
Paige only chuckled as they pulled into a parking lot. Azziâs curiosity grew as she turned her attention ahead, her brow furrowing slightly until recognition dawned. Her lips curved into a wide grin.
âYou brought me to the fair?â she asked, her voice tinged with excitement.
Paige glanced at her, her own smile soft but proud. âYeah. Dinnerâs boring,â she said simply, shrugging as if it was the most obvious decision in the world.
Azzi laughed, her eyes sparkling as she shook her head. âOf course youâd think that.â
Paige leaned back in her seat, looking out at the glowing lights of the fairground. âCome on, big head,â she said, unbuckling her seatbelt.
âŠ
Their date was going amazingly. Azzi, naturally, made Paige get her a funnel cake, ignoring Paigeâs protests as she tore off a piece and practically forced it into Paigeâs mouth. Paige grumbled but couldnât hide the smile tugging at her lips.
As the night went on, it became obvious that Paige was annoyingly good at everything. Every time Azzi swore Paige was about to lose a game, Paige proved her wrong. Neither of them wanted any of the prizes, so Paige made a habit of giving them away, handing stuffed animals and trinkets to random kids. The two of them would watch as the kids ran off, bouncing with excitement, leaving Azzi shaking her head at how effortlessly charming Paige could be with all ages.
Now, they were strolling through the fair, Paigeâs arm casually draped over Azziâs shoulder while Azzi leaned into her side, the warmth of the moment wrapping around them like the glowing lights of the fairground. But their quiet bubble burst when a small fan recognized Paige.
The fan approached cautiously, smiling nervously. âHey, Paige, can I get a quick picture?â
Paige offered a warm smile. âOf course.â
After the fan snapped a picture with Paige, they hesitated before turning to Azzi. âUm, can I get one with you too Azzi?â
Azzi blinked in surprise before smiling and nodding. âSure.â
Once the pictures were taken and the fan left with a cheerful wave, Paigeâs attention shifted, her eyes catching sight of something in the distance. âOh my god,â she muttered, her face lighting up as she grabbed Azziâs hand.
âWhat?â Azzi asked, laughing at Paigeâs sudden enthusiasm.
Paige didnât answer, pulling her toward the basketball booth, where a massive Olaf stuffed animal sat on display. âItâs too good to be true,â she said, practically bouncing with excitement.
When they reached the booth, Paige handed the worker some tickets. He explained the rules, telling her she needed to make three out of five shots to win. Paige nodded and stepped up to the line drawn on the concrete.
But the worker held up a hand. âNah, I know who you are. You gotta scoot back,â he said with a grin.
Paige laughed, stepping back as Azzi chuckled beside her. âUh oh, the pressures on now,â Azzi teased.
Paige made the first four shots with ridiculous ease, defying the odds of the notoriously rigged carnival game. As she took her time with each shot a small crowd had gathered to watch her, but Paige was unfazed.
The worker let her take the fifth shot just for fun, even though sheâd already won. Azzi, standing to the side, couldnât resist teasing her. âYouâre such a show-off,â she said, crossing her arms with a smirk.
Paige, knowing full well Azzi secretly loved it, grinned as she lined up the last shot. Without breaking eye contact with Azzi, she released the ball. The ball going in.
Azzi rolled her eyes, shaking her head with a laugh. âYouâre irritating.â
Paige strolled over to the worker, who handed her the massive Olaf. Without hesitation, Paige turned and placed it into Azziâs arms.
âThis oneâs yours,â Paige said with a confident grin.
Azzi looked down at the stuffed Olaf and then back at Paige, her expression softening. âYouâre cute, you know that?â
Paige just smiled at her, as she felt a tap on her lower back seeing a little girl with a huge smile on her face.
After Paige and Azzi finished taking pictures with a few fans who had crowded around to watch Paige play the game, she and Azzi resumed walking through the fairground, their steps in sync. Paigeâs arm once again draped casually over Azziâs shoulder, the familiar, comforting ease of their connection returning.
They walked in silence for a few moments, but the air between them was full of understanding. They didnât need to fill every moment with wordsâjust the presence of each other was enough.
When they reached the car, Paige opened the door for Azzi like always. Azzi smiled, appreciating the gesture every time Paige does it, before sliding into the passenger seat. Paige walked around the front of the car, slipping into the driverâs side. She took a moment to glance over at Azzi, who was still holding the Olaf stuffie, her eyes soft but smiling.
Paige gave a small smirk as she started the engine, teasing, âYouâre actually keeping it, huh?â
Azzi rolled her eyes playfully, adjusting the stuffed Olaf on her lap. âYes, itâs Olaf. Iâm keeping it.â
Paige laughed, shaking her head as she pulled out of the parking lot. The soft hum of the engine filled the silence between them as they drove off towards UConn, the glow of the fair behind them, leaving only the warmth of the moment to hold onto.
âŠ
Long after Paige had âdroppedâ Azzi off following their first date, she found herself wandering into the gym. She wasnât entirely sure why, but something about the court always drew her in. Spotting Azzi on the court dribbling, Paige couldnât help but chuckle softly to herself.
Azzi noticed her almost immediately, stopping mid-dribble with a smile. âWhat are you doing here?â
Paige smirked, walking further onto the court. âI could ask you the same thing.â
Azzi shrugged as Paige closed the distance, casually swatting the ball out of her hand. Azzi laughed, shaking her head. âAh, thereâs my annoying best friend.â
Paige laughed along, saying. âAhh, so Iâm âbest friend Paigeâ right now, huh?â
Azzi nodded, still grinning.
Paige raised an eyebrow, tilting her head dramatically. âOkay then, tell me something. I heard you went on a date tonight.â
Azzi chuckled at Paigeâs antics, her laughter light and easy. âI did.â
Paige dribbled the ball a few times, casually lining up a close-range shot. âHow was it?â
Azzi tilted her head, pretending to consider it. âEhh I was a little nervous at first, but I actually loved it.â
Paige glanced at her with a playful smirk. âNervous? Why were you nervous?â
Azziâs gaze softened as she shrugged, her voice quieter. âYou know why.â
Paige arched an eyebrow, her voice teasing. âHumor me.â
Instead of answering directly, Azzi pivoted the conversation. âI went on some dates when we werenât talking, like you suggested.â
Paige paused mid-dribble, her curiosity piqued. âYou did?â
Azzi nodded, fidgeting with her hands. âYeah... with girls.â
Paige hummed at this as she resumed dribbling, her voice casual but interested. âHow were they?â
Azzi shrugged, her expression thoughtful. âThey were okay. Itâs not like I was trying to figure out feelings for them... more so to figure out myself.â
Paige nodded, her gaze softening with a soft smile. âAnd?â
Azzi smiled faintly, her tone more serious now. âThey helped. The conversation with my mom I was telling you about? A whole lot easier after that.â
Paige paused her dribbling to smile at Azzi, her voice full of warmth. âIâm proud of you, Az.â
Azziâs lips curled into a small, grateful smile, the sincerity of Paigeâs words lingering in the air.
Azzi met Paigeâs gaze, her tone playful yet sincere. âThereâs a little more attention that comes with going on a date with Connecticutâs version of Jesus though.â
Paige burst out laughing, tossing the ball softly at Azzi, who caught it with a grin.
Azzi continued, her voice shifting to something more serious. âI was nervous at first because I knew people would recognize usâmostly you. Itâs a lot of extra attention.â
Paige nodded, her grin slowly growing as she listened.
Azzi tilted her head, narrowing her eyes. âWhat? Why are you smiling like that?â
Paige leaned casually against the wall, her grin turning a bit smug. âYou know I picked the fair on purpose, right?â
Azziâs brows furrowed. âNo...â
Paige smirked, folding her arms. âItâs far enough from campus that we wouldnât be recognized as much, but itâs also a Thursday, which means there werenât going to be a lot of teenagers or people our age there. Just a bunch of kids with their parents or older people. People our age would usually go on Fridays or Saturdays.â
Azzi blinked, processing the thoughtfulness behind Paigeâs planning.
Paige stepped closer, her voice softening. âI picked today because I knew anyone who approached us would either be a super-excited kid or an old-school basketball fan who wouldnât care why it was just the two of us there together. I wanted it to be... easier for you.â
Azzi was stunned, her lips parting slightly as she stared at Paige. âYou really thought that far ahead?â
Paige shrugged with a casual air, though her gaze was warm. âI know you, Az. I know how hard this is for you.â
Azzi laughed, her tone light again as she tried to hide how much Paigeâs words meant to her. âIf you knew what I was struggling with the whole time, whyâd you let me make it seem like basketball was the only thing stopping me?â
Paigeâs smile softened, her voice dropping just enough to convey her sincerity. âBecause I needed to give you time. Itâs not a realization someone else can process for you.â
The air between them shifted as Paige leaned casually against the wall, her height slightly towering over Azzi with the way they were standing. The space between them grew smaller without either of them noticing.
Azzi tilted her head up to look at Paige, her expression soft. âI miss your eyes,â she said quietly, almost as if the words slipped out without her permission.
Paige chuckled, the sound warm and familiar. âThatâs always the first thing you say to me.â Her grin widened, teasing but fond.
Azzi didnât bother denying it, her gaze unwavering. The weight of her words lingered in the air, pulling them closer in a way that had nothing to do with proximity.
After a moment, Azzi whispered, her tone playful but with a hint of nervousness, âIâm not letting you kiss me.â
Paigeâs toothy grin grew, her confidence shining through. âThatâs fine.â Her voice was low, carrying just enough to make Azziâs breath hitch.
But Paige didnât move away. She stayed close, her presence overwhelming yet comforting, as she just took in Azzi standing in front of her.
Azzi didnât respond, her lips quirking up just slightly. Instead, she shook her head with a quiet laugh, looking away but refusing to step back.
Paige finally stepped back, breaking the tension with a soft laugh. The sound lingered in the air, as she picked up a basketball and started dribbling casually.
Azzi rolled her eyes, grabbing her bag muttering, âIâm leaving.â
Paigeâs laugh grew louder as she called after her, âSee you later, princess!â
Azzi didnât stop or turn around, but a faint smile spread across her face. She lifted her hand and stuck her middle finger up in response, a playful gesture that made Paige laugh even harder as Azzi walked out of the gym.
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đđ The Boy Next Door.
Spencer Reid x Neighbor!reader
series masterlist
Summary: Making friends with your neighbor is one of the best things that ever happened to you, but falling in love with him? not so much.
Words: 4,1k.
Warnings & Tags: painting!reader. lack of communication. the reader has a cat. two idiots so in love. bittersweet. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).
Note: I am very excited about this, long live friends to lovers and being Spencer's neighbor (my dream).
Being a neighbor to someone like Spencer Reid had been a blessing since the first day you packed boxes of your stuff into the apartment next to his. He was kind and handsome, very much so, if you were honest. Smart but reserved, even a little shy if you looked at him too much. But most importantly, he was the kind of neighbor who would never complain about your cat, who seemed to have a particular fondness for his balcony. Whether it was knocking over his potted plants or staring curiously at his fish tank, your felineâs antics never elicited more than a gentle laugh or a patient shrug. He would simply return your wayward pet with a soft knock at your door, holding it in his arms like it was the most precious thing in the world, while you apologized profusely, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
What started as brief exchangesâusually you stammering out apologies while he reassured you it was no troubleâgradually became longer conversations. The simple, polite âHi, this is my cat, Iâm so sorryâ turned into casual talks about your day or his work, which he always spoke about in vague terms. And you, feeling so guilty for the inconvenience your cat had caused, decided to bake him cookies as a peace offering. They didnât turn out quite as youâd hopedâslightly burnt around the edgesâbut Spencer didnât seem to mind. In fact, he complimented their colorful sprinkles and icing, likening them to a painting by a famous artist. His sincerity disarmed you, and before you knew it, you were chatting about your love for art while he stroked your cat, his expression soft and attentive as though heâd known you forever.
So you didn't question anything and started to think of him as a friend. His nice actions with you were enough, and it was always good to have new friends, especially when they lived so close to your home.
It turned out that being Spencer's friend was a thousand times better than just being his messy neighbor, and it gave you some new things. Like a copy of the key to his apartment so you could water his plants and feed his fish when he was away at work. Plus, full access to his library, full of books with names you could barely pronounce, whenever you wanted, along with his coffee maker, which was so much better than yours, and was the perfect complement to a lecture in his comfortable sofa.
Books on philosophy, complex sciences, and psychological theories you had never heard of in your life. Each one had a colored heart-shaped post-it that Spencer had borrowed from your collection: pink for the ones you would love, yellow for the ones that might entertain you for a few minutes, red for the ones you wouldn't like at all, and purple for the ones that were in other languages, but he could translate for you if you just mentioned it. His dedication to introducing you to the world of reading was so great that he even convinced you to paint some bookmarks for him. And you took him so seriously that you made one for each of his favorite books, with paintings inspired by their contents.
Being Spencer's neighbor and friend meant having a shoulder to lean on while he helped you pay your bills and tried to fit your tight budget to cover your expenses. It always ended with two empty coffee cups on your kitchen table, your big fake smile as you tried to hold back the urge to scream because your art wasn't giving you enough to survive, his hands caressing your back and reassuring you that everything was going to be okay, that you could count on his help and his wallet if you needed it. And somehow, the next day, one of your paintings would mysteriously sell, and a bag of food would appear for your cat, as if by magic. You never had to askâhe always seemed to know when you needed a little extra help, always appearing with a gentle smile and a quiet offer.
It was one of those days when you opened the door, your hands still covered in paint, when you saw him standing there, holding a small bag of groceries. âI know what youâre doing, and I appreciate it, but itâs really not necessary,â you said, embarrassed. You couldnât hide the blush creeping up your neck as you set the paintbrush down and gestured to the cluttered table full of half-finished canvases. You knew what he was up toâheâd done it before, slipping in to make sure you had enough to eat and that your cat had food.
Spencerâs cheeks flushed slightly, and he shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other, as though trying to figure out how to explain himself without embarrassing you. âIâŠI didnât want to make you feel uncomfortable,â he started, looking anywhere but directly at you, âbut I bought a bunch of food, and honestly, I wonât be able to eat it all. I have to work late all week, and itâll go bad before I have a chance to use it. I thoughtâŠmaybe you could use it?â He gave a half-smile, hoping it would soften the situation.
You blinked, surprised at how considerate he was being. Spencer wasnât the type to try and make you feel bad, and you knew he was trying to help without overstepping. It wasnât about charityâit was simply his way of offering support because he cared. You couldnât help but smile at his sincerity, even if you felt a bit embarrassed about the situation.
âYou donât have to do that,â you said gently, trying to ward off the guilt that crept up on you. But he was already shaking his head, that familiar, apologetic look in his eyes.
âI know, I know,â he said quickly. âItâs justâŠI hate wasting food.â He paused for a moment, as if considering something. âAnd if you want, I can help organize everything in your fridge. Youâre probably running low on space with all the art supplies and other things. I can make room for the stuff so it doesnât go to waste.â
You glanced over at the chaotic state of your kitchen and couldnât help but laugh softly, the sound both self-deprecating and amused. It was so true. Still, the thought of Spencer Reidâneat, meticulous Spencerânavigating your messy kitchen was both endearing and mildly mortifying.
âOkay,â you relented, wiping your hands on a towel. âThat would actually be helpful. But donât judge me for the mess, okay? Itâs beenâŠa lot lately.â
His face lit up with a small, genuine smile, his love for organization clear in the way his posture straightened. âI promise,â he said, his tone almost teasing, âno judgment.â
As he carefully unpacked the groceries, you found yourself talking without meaning to, your words spilling out like the colors on your canvas. âItâs just been hard,â you admitted, your voice faltering slightly. âIâve been applying for jobs left and right, but nothingâs coming through. And artâŠwell, itâs not exactly paying the bills right now. Iâm barely getting by again.â
Spencer paused, a container of strawberries in his hands, and turned to look at you. His brown eyes were soft with concern and something elseâsomething that felt like quiet reassurance. He placed your favorite fruit on the counter with care before speaking.
âYou know,â he began, his voice soft but steady, âthe last time we talked, you mentioned you used to babysit.â His words caught your attention, making you pause as you glanced over at him, unsure of where he was going with this. âWell, JJâmy friend at workâwas just saying that sheâs looking for a babysitter. Sheâs been trying to find someone reliable for a while, and I thoughtâŠwell, maybe youâd be interested.â
You blinked, unsure whether youâd heard him right. Babysitting? It seemed like a lifetime ago since youâd done anything like that. You hesitated for a moment, running a hand through your hair. âI used to be a nanny when I was fifteen,â you said, feeling the weight of those words. âBut, Iâm not sureâŠI mean, Iâm not exactly the same person I was back then, and I haven't interacted with kids in a while.â
Spencerâs lips curved into a reassuring smile, the kind that made you feel like you could take on the world if he believed in you. âI think youâd be great at it,â he said, his tone steady and confident. âAnd it wouldnât have to be full-timeâjust a few hours here and there, whenever you have the time. Besides,â he added, his smile turning a little playful, âIâm their godfather, so Iâd be around if you ever need help.â
The idea of him being there, silently supporting you as he always did, made the idea seem less daunting and even a little tender, almost familiar. You nodded before you realized what you were agreeing to.
âOkay,â you said finally, your voice barely above a whisper. âIâll think about it.â
His hand rested lightly on your shoulder then, his touch warm and grounding. When you looked up at him, his eyes were filled with a quiet intensity that made your breath hitch.
The possibility of refusing anything he asked you to do, with that perfect face that often reminded you of a tender deer, was impossible, and you had learned that over time. Just like the fact that it was completely forbidden to say out loud all the things you thought when you saw him. No extra sweet words, no overly long hugs, no thinking about the kiss you wanted to give him when he started to babble. And certainly no telling him how much you loved himânot when his gentle presence in your life was already more than you could have ever hoped for.
Being in love with someone like Spencer Reid was no blessing. Especially when his door was right next to yours and it almost seemed like you lived in the same apartment. Eating breakfast together when he wasn't out on a case for work, watching him make your favorite pancakes, and putting up pink candles to pretend it was your birthday when you were feeling too sad, and even a funny tuna cake for your cat's birthday. It was all too detailed, intimate, and personal to feel absolutely nothing for so long. Watching him slowly fall asleep on the couch while you watched a ridiculously romantic movie that you chose and he accepted because he was too tired to discuss it. He looked so relaxed, every one of his features softened, forcing you to run and get your notebook to sketch him, because he was a complete work of art. The same situation happened a thousand times; you almost had a whole notebook dedicated to him. But obviously he didn't know that, because he didn't know a lot of things.
And you were okay with that, even though it felt terrible to have to deprive a genius like him of so much information his brain wasn't even expecting.
Anything was better than watching him avoid you in the hallway, or worse, with you having to move somewhere else.
You could stand the love and desire building up inside you, and you did your best not to let it go. Maybe it wasn't the best or what you expected when you imagined what it would be like to actually fall in love with someone for the first time. But at least you had moments that gave you the energy to go on living. The hug and kiss on the cheek that he gave you every time he left for work as a promise to come back, the tender good morning messages in which he wished you good luck for the rest of the day, especially when you had a lot of things to do and he was not in a state to accompany you, or waiting for you after dinner with your friends so that you could tell him in detail what had happened, every gossip and new comment that unfortunately you now had to do over the phone. Especially this time, maybe it could not be like that.
One suggestion, coming from one of your closest friends, caught you completely off guard. âYou should sleep with him,â she had said so casually, as if it were the simplest solution to an incredibly complex situation.
The words hung in the air like a joke that wasnât really a joke. You looked at her, eyes wide, unable to comprehend what she had just said. âWhat?â you managed, voice a little too sharp, as you quickly wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.
She didnât seem to notice your shock, leaning forward with a grin that could only be described as mischievous. âI said,â she repeated, âyou should sleep with him.â
You nearly choked on your juice, coughing and sputtering as the words rang in your ears. âAre you serious?â you asked, feeling your face flush a deep shade of red. The words felt out of place, especially when the one person you were most careful aboutâSpencerâwas the subject of this absurd suggestion. âI canât justâŠsleep with him.â
âOh, come on,â she insisted, not giving up. âYouâve been in love with him forever. You need to get it out of your system. Itâll help you move on, I promise.â
The words swirled around you, heavy and suffocating, pressing down on your chest like a tidal wave. Sleep with Spencer? Spencer? The man who had become such an intricate part of your life, the one who made every day brighter simply by being in it? You couldnât even begin to picture it. It feltâŠwrong. It wasnât just about the simmering desire or the longing that built up every time you looked at him. Spencer was more than that. He was a friend, a confidant, a constant in a world that had often felt uncertain. The thought of crossing that lineâof turning everything you had into something fleeting, something physicalâit made your stomach churn. It wasnât just infatuation anymore. It was something deeper, something that had taken root and blossomed into something far more fragile. The idea of destroying that with a single reckless and hormonal decision? You couldnât do it.
âNo,â you said firmly, setting your glass down and crossing your arms as if physically rejecting the thought. âI canât do that. Itâs not like that with him.â
For a fleeting moment, your friendâs expression softened, but then the mischievous glint returned to her eyes. She leaned back, crossing her own arms in a show of exaggerated disbelief. âYouâre seriously going to sit here and tell me you donât think about him like that?â she challenged, arching a brow. âThat you donât fantasize about him? Please. Youâre practically playing house at this point. Living next door, eating breakfast together, taking care of his godchildrenâyouâre practically married without the fun part.â
Her words were sharp, and they stung in ways you hadnât expected. She wasnât wrong, not entirely. You had thought about Spencer in ways that made your pulse race and your heart ache. You couldnât deny that you fantasized about himâabout what it would feel like to hold him, kiss him, love him in ways you hadnât allowed yourself to imagine until now. But it was more than that. It was the tenderness in his eyes when he spoke of things that mattered most and the way he held you when things felt heavy.
You sighed, running a hand through your hair in frustration, your fingers threading through the strands with a kind of restless energy. âItâs complicated,â you murmured, feeling a lump form in your throat. âHe is different, okay? Heâs not just some random guy Iâm trying to get over. Heâs Spencer.â
âThen tell him how you feel,â she shot back, her tone laced with exasperation. âYouâre not doing yourself any favors by keeping it all bottled up.â
You flinched, the words hitting you harder than youâd anticipated. âI canât do that either,â you admitted, the confession falling from your lips like a stone sinking in water. âIt would ruin everything.â
Your friendâs playful demeanor faltered for a moment, her teasing grin softening into something almost compassionate. But it didnât last long. She leaned back in her chair, tossing her hands up in mock surrender. âFine. Donât sleep with him. Donât tell him how you feel. Just keep sitting around, pining, and writing bad poetry in your head. But donât come crying to me when youâre still hopelessly in love with him a year from now.â
Her words stung, even though you knew she was right in her own blunt, infuriating way. You opened your mouth to respond but stopped when your phone buzzed on the table. The screen lit up with a message from Spencer: Hope you have a good day. Somethingâs come up. Iâll be back late today.
You stared at the words, your heart sinking a little. He had a way of being so thoughtful in the simplest ways, even when his job pulled him away. It was one of the many things about him that made your feelings all the more complicated.
Your friend smirked, noticing the soft expression on your face as you read his text. âSee? There it is,â she said, her tone equal parts teasing and affectionate. âIf youâre not going to do anything about it, at least admit that youâre completely in love with him.â
Donât come crying to me when youâre still hopelessly in love with him a year from now.
The words echoed in your mind even after you and your friend had parted ways, and even after several hours had passed, lingering in your brain like a buzzing that wouldn't go away even though everything inside you was screaming to make more noise and ignore it. It was as if he had opened a Pandora's box that you had been hiding for a long time, and it was something that made you feel small and foolish, lost in your own indecision. You tried to shake it all off, but his words kept echoing in your head, getting louder and louder. You couldn't confess. You couldn't risk ruining everything.
When you arrived at your building, your feet carrying you to his almost by inertia, you tried to distract yourself and do something nice: set the table, light some candles, and order dinner for two at a nearby restaurant you both liked. That had been your plan: a quiet evening together, the kind where you could pretend that everything was normal and there were no complexes on your mind. You knew Spencer would be home late, but at least he'd be there. You'd share a meal, talk about his crazy case, laugh, get so tired you'd fall asleep on the couch so he could carry you to his bed, sleep there barely touching, and then move on as usual. At least that's how you imagined it.
But as the hours passed, you realized something you didn't want to admit: He wasn't coming home anytime soon. At least not tonight.
The food was there, untouched. The candles flickered in the darkness, taunting you with their warm glow. The emptiness of the apartment reflected the feeling of emptiness gnawing at you. You sat on the couch and tried to distract yourself with your cell phone and grabbed a few books you didn't know from the shelf, but everything seemed strange. The clock on the wall was chiming louder than usual, each second getting longer and longer. Around two in the morning, you couldn't stay awake a second longer. Your eyes were heavy, and your mind was tired from the endless cycle of thoughts you had been wrestling with all day. Eventually, you drifted off to sleep, exhausted from the emotional toll of the day, the weight of your own feelings too much to bear when you didn't have Spencer or a canvas nearby to distract you.
You didnât even hear him when he came through the door.
It wasn't until almost four in the morning that you awoke slightly, your body responding to the warmth and the soft sound of his footsteps approaching you. You found yourself curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, your head resting on the pillows and your neck aching. The dinner you had bought was still on the table, untouched, and the candles had long since been extinguished, taking away the warm, familiar atmosphere. The air smelled faintly of reheated food and something else, something familiar, something that smelled like him.
âSpencerâŠâ Your voice was thick with sleep, the words barely leaving your mouth.
He smiled down at you, a gentle smile that seemed to reach all the way into your chest. âSorry Iâm so lateâŠI didn't think you would wait for me,â he murmured, his voice low and soothing. âWork ran later than I expected.â
You nodded, still half-dazed, barely able to focus on his words. But then you felt the warmth of his hand on your shoulder, gentle but grounding, and everything seemed to fall into place.
âWhy donât you go to bed?â he suggested softly, his fingers brushing a strand of hair from your face. âYouâve fallen asleep here.â
Before you could react, he picked you up and gently led you into his bedroom. The action was tender, so natural because it had happened more times than you could count. You didn't protest or move. Maybe it was tiredness, or maybe it was the way he made you feel so safe that you always wanted to fall asleep on his couch so he could hold you more, but you let him continue. You let him take care of you as he always did, even when you didn't ask him to.
As he tucked you into his bed, the soft sheets wrapped around your body like a comforting embrace, you murmured something tender and incoherent about him in your sleep, too far away to remember. The words poured out meaninglessly, fragments of meaningless thoughts: feelings, confusions, desires you had buried too deep to think you would ever say out loud. Spencer's hand brushed across your forehead, his thumb gently pushing away the strands of hair that clung to your skin and made you uncomfortable.
âPretty boy,â you whispered, the words slipping out in your sleepy haze, a fragment of something you couldnât quite capture.
Spencerâs soft laugh filled the space between you, the sound warm and comforting.
âI remember you said someone used to call you that; is that true?â you asked gently, a playful teasing tone in your voice. âYouâre a pretty boy.â
âAnd youâre a sleepy girl,â he replied with a quiet smile, watching you drift in and out of consciousness.
âPrettyâŠâ you murmured again, your voice barely audible, like a dream that was fading too quickly for you to hold onto.
âYeah, pretty too,â he whispered, his voice low and rich with tenderness. His thumb traced your forehead one last time, lingering for just a moment before the weight of sleep claimed you entirely.
The bed shifted slightly as Spencer took off his shoes and climbed in beside you, his body warmth a comforting presence next to yours. He paused, just for a moment, to look at you with an expression so full of affection.
âThanks for making this place a home, my pretty girl,â he whispered, his voice filled with a warmth that seemed to wrap around you like the sheets, even when you canât listen.
Because he wouldn't have told you that if you were awake and aware, watching him with your bright eyes wide open. Not yet. Not if telling you meant facing the possibility that one day you might avoid him in the hallway or, worse, decide to move somewhere else. He couldn't bear the thought of losing you because he felt things he shouldn't have. Not you. Not his home.
Being in love with you, his neighbor and only friend outside of work, was one of the best and worst things that ever happened to him. To have someone who would wait for him with dinner even when you didn't know what time he'd be home, someone who would compliment him even in between dreams and manage to make him laugh, who would listen to him even when no one else would, and who would accidentally smear paint all over his clothes as a little reminder that you were real and not an impossible dream. He knew you were truly a miracle to someone as unlucky as he was.
Having you, even as a friend, was fantastic.
Sadly, what Spencer didnât knowâwhat neither of you could have knownâwas that this moment, this quiet tenderness and time sleeping in the same bed, would be the last time he would see you for what would feel like an eternity. At least for three more agonizing months.
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid imagine#matthew gray gubler
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Imagine a Error x reader x ink cause i Can't stop imagining this
What kind of girl do you prefer
Error:my Wife [aka Reader] i love her and she is a Nice girl
What kind of girl do you prefer
Ink:uuuuuh Error wife
**Error Stares at Ink**
It beautiful. I've reread your request several times, but it's still great. Thanks for the request that made me smile
đȘĄ Error x fem!Reader x Ink Oneshot What kind of girl do you prefer đ
Anti-void was a personal realm that belonged to Error. There was only room for him and for you. You were probably the only one he loved, even though it took him a long time to get there. Much longer than he was willing to admit.
He called you his wife, even though it was just words, but you never corrected him. He knew that he loved you and that you loved him, otherwise you would not have remained so calm in such an empty space, next to him, whose emotional state was constantly out of control, with him, who never once in all your time did not touch you physically and only used his threads if there was a need. necessity. But you continued to love him and stay by his side.
But your peace and privacy were destroyed when Ink appeared. He came, it would seem, specifically to annoy Error and used every opportunity for this. But what angered him the most was that Ink started paying quite a lot of attention to you. He came to you, chatted with you about everything in the world, ignoring the indignation and abuse from Error. Ink offered you to leave with him several times, but you refused, continuing to smile at him in a friendly way and saying that you were not going to leave your love. Your words made Error grin with satisfaction, but Ink didn't get upset and kept coming back over and over again.
At some point, Ink's presence in your lives became something common, and even though Error continued to keep him at a distance from himself and from you, you still chatted with him in a friendly way, you listened to his stories about other universes where you had never been, he brought you gifts, saying that you should be it's very boring without anything at all, you even painted together. As long as Ink did not cross the boundaries of what was allowed, Error was ready to treat him with more patience than usual, at least for your sake. He was really busy and couldn't always be with you, but this way you had at least some entertainment.
But when Killer passed through your anti-void, he looked at how Ink behaved almost like at home and periodically looked at you, who was sitting away from them and reading a book that Error had brought for you, the gears in Killer's head began to spin faster and his grin became wider.
"Hey, Error, have a question"
Error made an exasperated grunt. He hated being bothered, but in the situation that arose, he couldn't refuse Nightmare, which meant he had to put up with Killer.
"What kind of girl do you prefer?"
His question caused Error to be even more annoyed.
"What kind of dumb question is that? Of course my wife, I love her, she's a nice girl"
Error was sure that Killer would finally leave, but he heard his almost humming voice.
"Ink~"
At that moment, they both looked at KIller, who was smiling like a cat that had secretly eaten a canary.
"What kind of girl do you prefer?"
There was silence. This silence was stressful and Error didn't like Ink's continued silence. Finally, he chuckled and answered the question.
"Uh... Error's wife"
Killer couldn't help but laugh, which you noticed as you stared uncomprehendingly at the way Killer hurriedly left. Error stared intently at Ink, and it would seem that if looks could kill, Ink would have been dead a long time ago. You got up and went to them.
"What's going on?.."
Your voice was like the sound of a gunshot for both of them. Ink hurried to dive into his portal, giving you a quick goodbye and barely avoiding the threads that almost grabbed him. Error was furious and wasn't going to stand for this. He wasn't going to let Ink even get close to you, especially now that he'd made it sound like he liked you. Even if it was just a joke to annoy Error, he wasn't going to risk losing you to someone like Ink.
You didn't quite understand what had happened, but you planned to find out later, from one of the three participants in this situation. In the meantime, you wanted to focus your attention on Error, who was much more angry than usual. You just couldn't leave him like this.
#Sans x Reader#Sans#Error Sans#Error Sans x Reader#Ink Sans#Ink Sans x Reader#Inktale#Inktale x Reader#Errortale#Errortale x Reader#Errortale oneshots#Inktale oneshots
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What about a human!reader that fell thru a temporary portal and Belos accepted them into his life bc he wants information about the human realm and they kinda just do random tasks for Belos bc they can't do magic and Belos begins to dote on them after enough time
Aww!! thats so cute
Belos x Human!Reader
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You could still remember the day you had fallen through that lake, the day things had turned completely upside down for you. Quite literally at the time as you had fallen face first into what you assumed was quick sand and revealed itself to be a portal to a realm you had never seen before. Everything around you had either wanted to kill you, eat you or rob you for the first moment you had got there. It was frightening and difficult to navigate, you were almost convinced that you were living out a nightmare. Then you met him. You weren't sure what he was doing out there in the forest now that you thought back on it, you just remembered him surrounded with what you know now were coven scouts and barking orders. His stature and mask had scared you enough, not to mention the boom of his voice made your chest tighten. In an attempt to not be detected you tried to sneak your way through the bushes. Unfortunately for you, that was where a rather hungry bird like creature had decided to rest. The moment you had gotten halfway, you stepped on its tail and it attacked you, throwing you down and out of the bushes. Scouts had cleared it off of you, pulling it away with bright spells and sending it back into the wild. Before you could get up, you saw a shadow cast over you and your eyes met two glowing vibrant ones. You thought he was going to make you disappear with the intensity of his gaze before a scout pointed a staff in your face. After seeing what it could do, you fearfully backed away into the legs of the masked man. He lifted his hand in a halting motion and helped you up. While you were still nervous, something about the way he took your hand had made you relax if only for a second. You learned a lot more about the Boiling Isles after that. You and Belos had grown rather close after he saved you that day. He had taken you in and allowed you to stay in the palace with him. Out of all the time you had on the Isles he had been the nicest person you had met since, providing you with more than enough to survive. Since you couldn't use any magic like he or the other demons of the realm could, you helped in other ways. The Emperor assigned you as his personal assistant, to the dismay of another smaller demon you had met during your time in the palace. He would have you help with organizing his schedule, take you with him during meetings to take notes and generally kept you around during his day. Suddenly while you two were in the throne room together, he began to ask about the human realm, your home. You were surprised to hear him ask since you hadn't even thought about it in such a long time, but you told him about it. At this point, you could consider the Emperor a friend so telling him of your home was quite nice. He asked all sorts of questions, he asked about the technology, the wildlife, the changes in society, you were beginning to wonder why he had been so curious. You brought it up and it was almost as if he had been shut off, his face froze as he stared at you for a long moment. He told you he was human and it was as if a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. While it raised a few questions, it had brought you both closer. Now you were currently helping Belos with recopying a few important files that had to do with construction within the palace. You hadn't truly paid much attention to what was being written on them as you had several pages to complete. The both of you were just working quietly in his office, he was sitting at his desk and you were on the sofa just a few feet from him. Some days, similar to this one, just consisted of you two sitting in each other's company without a word between you. It was nice to just be around him, just knowing he was there with you.
"And I'm done!" You announced as you straightened out the papers and piled them into the folder you had taken them from. Belos chuckled and shook his head. "Once again, you have beaten me." You smiled and leaned your head on your arm. "Aww, c'mon. It's not a race because if it was I would totally floor you."
He rolled his eyes yet there was still that amused grin on his face. You stood up and peeked at his work, leaning your head on his shoulder. With how often you two had been around each other, you had often been in each others space. That certainly didn't stop from Belos' face reddening slightly at your closeness. When he had first found you, he was more than excited to find another human. His hope to save you where he had failed before had influenced his decision to have you work with him, but you had slowly grown to be such a regular part of his life. Even with separate rooms, there had been some nights where you had asked to sleep in his room and occasionally he would come to yours. Not to mention you had brought a new perspective to everything that he did. He almost wished to see the world through your eyes, if only for a moment. He wondered how you saw this world, how you saw other demons. How you saw him.
"I've only this page left," Belos spoke up. "Then perhaps we could go eat something, it's been a rather long day." You let out an excited gasp and threw your arms over his shoulders, wrapping them around to not get in the way of his view. "That sounds like a great idea." He hummed and continued working on the page, though his focus tended to shift as you stood so close. It was almost instinctual when he leaned into you, your cheeks pressing against one another. He could feel the small smile grow on your face.
"What do we have in the kitchen?" You asked. There was a pause from Belos which you had assumed he was trying to remember what you had, but he had been convincing himself to take a risk. He cleared his throat as he finished the last sentence on the page and put his pen down to take your hand into his. "What if we went out to eat instead?"
That hadn't sounded like a bad idea at all, it did open up your options. Plus it had been a while since you had left the palace, work was really catching up on the two of you. Of course, you had also seen the opportunity to tease Belos at his phrasing. It totally wasn't because you had to get rid of the nervous energy that had come up when he had taken your hand and ignore how warm it made you feel. "Ooh, you wanna take me out? Like on a date?" You sang.
When you expected him to playfully push you off and shake his head and he didn't, your smile faded. He instead turned back to you with a look you had only seen a few times but never understood the meaning behind. His eyes were so gentle that it caught you completely off guard that you almost didn't notice how close your faces were. His eyes looked away from you as he spoke in a near whisper. "Is that something you might like?"
Oh.
You wanted to act composed but it was almost impossible to fight the stupid smile that pulled onto your face. He waited patiently for your response as he watched you carefully.
The second you leaned your forehead against his, he relaxed. "Yeah, I think it would be."
He lifted your hand to his lips and laid a soft kiss on the back of it. You moved it to hold his face and he sighed pleasantly, he was putty in your hands.
Belos would thoroughly enjoy sweeping you off of your feet.
#this became much longer than i meant for it to be but#yknow what good#also i love the dynamic of belos trying to be serious and reader is just fun and it rubs off on him a bit#belos x reader#emperor belos x reader#philip wittebane x reader#the owl house x reader#toh x reader#the owl house writing#the owl house#philip wittebane#toh philip#toh philip wittebane#the owl house philip#the owl house philip wittebane#belos#toh belos#the owl house belos#emperor belos#toh emperor belos#the owl house emperor belos#my writing#writing#x reader
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wait i feel like i Need to say something re: the kantbison bondage scene in ep3 part 4
i've been seeing a Lot of people be like "yeah no that scene was really off-putting idk ://"... i think that was the point?
neither of them are actually in the moment. kant is very clearly not enjoying himself At All, and bison is inebriated (and drugged???) past the point of real comprehension.
but that's the thing â that scene isn't about the two of them having sex. it's about them trying to desperately get their hands on what they really want.
the show's established that kant isn't into this stuff in the least (as seen post-fadel's confrontation at the tattoo parlor), but he's willing to suffer through it, to grit his teeth and bear through the quite literal pain. he's willing to do anything, as long as he'll finally be able to get the evidence he needs to be free of these things forever.
on the other hand, we've seen bison state over and over how much he's wanted to do all of this, how he's never been able to find someone to actually hold power over. and now bison â younger brother, "never allowed to make a real decision of his own for even a day in his life" bison â is finally, finally able to take control over someone's life; something that's meaningful, something that matters.
that's exactly why i'd argue that the entire scene isn't meant to be "hot" or "appealing," but rather unsettling and weird (especially with the constant cuts to fadel digging(?) mysteriously in a field, but that's a whole other thing).
TLDR; kantbison's first time may have been passion and lust incarnate, but this one is so far removed from that. because, this time, neither of them actually care about the sex more than about what it means â a means to an end for kant, and a first glimpse at unadulterated power for bison.
#errorkey.exe#the heart killers#kantbison#this is just a mess of words and thoughts but i NEEDED to get it out there#it also became way longer than i meant it to be... i had a lot to say! sue me!#there's so much to discuss and to uncover with this episode#the entire series really#but here's one last thing: i think both of them are fucked up and very much using each other#not that they don't like each other! there's real interest and attraction there but it's just not as strong as they're playing it up to be#kant is far worse ofc considering the drugging and the lying and the blatant ignoring of his own boundaries and the DRUGGING#but â hot take! â bison is also clearly using kant as this stand-in for his ideal life#i don't think really he has feelings for kant as much as he just enjoys the amount of affection he's being showered with bc it's new to him#but yes . they're both just placeholders for one another's real goals i guess?
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modern bingyuan ft. werewolf luo binghe and human shen yuan (listen i have a brain disease (autism that is omegaverse and werewolf flavored) okay, i cant help it)
bingheâs pack:
mobei jun, his second-in-command
shang qinghua, mobei junâs mate pet human
sha hualing, nasty bitch (affectionate) who comes in clutch during territory disputes and shit
various underlings
(tangential pack members: tianlang jun and zhuzhi-lang, by virtue of bing lbhâs relatives. tlj was meant to be the packâs alpha, but didnât have much interest in leadership)
vague story ideas below the cut:
shen yuan moves to the same city as sqh to be closer to physicians that specialize in his medical condition. sqh initially seems really excited to meet in person, then puts it off again and again until shen yuan calls him from the hospital like âdude listen i know u maybe donât actually want to meet irl but im gonna be in the hospital for a few days and im bored out of my skull, can u just bring me some games or smth and leave them at the nursesâ stationâ
sqh feels bad for putting off the hangout for so long, so he brings the games, the nurse directs him to shen yuanâs room, and here we meet mbj whoâs curious abt whoâs been bugging sqh to hang out for the past couple weeks. after that, sqh comes to visit shen yuan in the hospital every day while heâs there. he bitches about it, but itâs friendly bitching.
meanwhile sqh and mbj keep showing up to pack stuff smelling like humanâone specific human. and he smells good, at least in lbhâs opinion. so he gets curious and keeps bugging qinghua to introduce him to this sweet-smelling human. ofc, he makes it seem like heâs suspicious of the human whoâs suddenly started hanging around his second. sqh finally gives in and invites shen yuan to hang out with his other friends (shen yuan is very excited and extremely anxious).
binghe is immediately obsessed. shen yuan is smart and funny and a little rude, even though it doesnât seem like he means to be, and he smells so fucking good itâs unreal. lbh doesnât let hualing bully shen yuan, which is out of character for him nice. mobei jun tacitly approves of him, qinghua is already his friend, and hualing doesnât try to kill him within 20 mins of meeting, so itâs p much a success. thereâs one point where shen yuanâs scent suddenly turns sour from pain and the werewolves all pause, but qinghua keeps yapping on and the only sign shen yuan gives of being in pain is a tightening of his jaw and a deep, sharp inhale through the nose
after shen yuan goes home, mobei jun tells binghe that shen yuan had been in the hospital but wouldnât say what for; he assumes shen yuan was injured somehow? but every few hangouts, shen yuanâs scent does that thing again. binghe and he have been getting closer, and eventually for some reason or another (tianlang jun or zhuzhi lang, maybe?) heâs pressured into revealing that heâs a werewolf. also at some vague, hand-wavy time, shen yuan explains that heâs not injured, heâs just got heart problems
shen yuanâs got a hand-wavy heart condition inspired by long QT; he moved because he went into cardiac arrest during a regular hospital visit and his family was like âok we thought this was managed but u now need to see the best specialists in the countryâ and the specialists were like âok youâre getting an implantable cardiac defibrillator like yesterday; why didnt they do that after your heart stopped last time???????â which is why he was in the hospital
anyways blah blah maybe somebody kidnaps shen yuan to get to luo binghe or smth like that, binghe goes all badass bingge mode and kills some people, and then they fuck nasty (but also tenderly!!!) and they live happily ever after
#this is so much longer than i meant it to be#i really was just spitting out thoughts and then it became like this#shen yuan#luo binghe#shang qinghua#mobei jun#svsss#svsss werewolf au#bingyuan#bingyuan werewolf au#werewolf luo binghe#yapping
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god help me i'm going insane about dickson xenoblade again
#this is what i get for thinking about lord of the rings too hard this week (specifically denethor / grĂma / saruman and the like)#thinking about the way anthony may delivered âwhen will you learn you HAVE no future?â#he thinks shulk is fully DEAD at that point. he thinks HE killed him. which he very much meant to. but now that the kid is no longer there#now that the terrible future he's been preparing for and actively working to bring about has in fact come about#i don't know that dickson really cared anymore. he played his part he did the deed expected and he did it unquestioningly. So What Now?#well. now nothing. now the world that he spent so long biding his time in; so long getting enmeshed in (even for nefarious purposes)#is about to end; is about to be gone forever.#sure zanza will probably just create another world and maybe he (dickson) will have Even More Power in the new one#(though that's not a given! he doesn't know for SURE his lord and god will keep his promise!)#but like. what the hell does he care at this point#dickson SAYS he wants power but i suspect that long long ago what the giant dickson really wanted was SURVIVAL.#we never get to know just how he became a disciple or what the giant civilization looked like in its heyday or how it ended#but in MY headcanon dickson saw that some kind of destruction coming and he wanted Out#and maybe he hated his peers and figured any power and prestige that came from this bargain was just a bonus#i think he thought of himself as a saruman type: powerful; remote; far above the petty troubles of mortals (even the long-lived high entia)#but i have always headcanoned that by his later days (i.e. when he started engaging w/colony 9; machina village; etc. in earnest)#he committed too hard to the bit and started âgoing nativeâ as it were; started to give a shit in ways that he would never dare admit#maybe not as much of a shit as; you know; a regular guy would. but more than an immortal disciple and horseman of the apocalypse should.#and all the time knowing that all the world he'd seen would soon be gone#maybe everyone else can get fucked. but shulk had to die too. and that's what their god MADE them to do.#he can't allow himself to care or to hope for another option bc in his mind it's already over; decided; that's it#what else can you do in the face of ultimate power but bow to it and take whatever scraps may fall to an obedient servant?#âyou have no futureâ nor does he except that shulk came back. except that the peoples of bionis/mechonis just wouldn't accept Fate.#and in some final rebellious corner of his mind he starts putting eggs in shulk's basket. âif they can't even defeat telethia they won't#stand a chance against me (or zanza)â so let's see if they CAN. oh they did? how about a dragon? oh fuck they defeated the dragon too?#well fuck. maybe there WAS another option all along. but will/can they stand against me; the final disciple? oh they can??#guess i'll die then bc i'm not looking THAT in the face. i am NOT unpacking my cowardice/failure/lack of vision after all these years.#good luck with that tho <3 you're welcome for the training btw. where i'm going i don't have to see your trauma assuming you live that long.#dickson#xenoblade
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Dear four people who followed me after reblogging that Sondheim post, you are going to be very disappointed by my usual blogging habits
#I was a youth orchestra kid and armchair theater kid and then#I got a music theory degree and a sociology degree and a master's in music ed and spent 9 years teaching music and now#...all that is a very small part of my life#still part of who I am! but not something you'll hear about much on here lol#I don't use my brain that much anymore#(I got a concussion and then became a jock and then got another concussion and then became more of a jock#and also became more intellectually lazy the longer I spent out of school and the more I looked at my phone#WHOOPS this sounds more gloomy than I meant it to!#my life is the best it's ever been in a lot of ways even though I miss being a person who thinks)
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Dear horror youtubers who write video essays explaining and examining extraordinary works of horror that I deeply want to see and understand but will literally never be able to safely watch due to my own trauma - thus providing me with a way to learn from and connect to works of art that would be otherwise forever inaccessible to me,
I love you.
youtube
#original#horror#final girl studios#if this youtuber is on tumblr someone should tag her#LOVE the idea of a girl coming of age and becoming monstrous but now obsessed with how they described this movie as#'a girl coming of age and finding that the people AROUND her have become monsters to her'#fucking. brilliant! thank you for giving me a way to learn from and enjoy this movie! i am more sure than ever that i should not watch it!#but i am so grateful to you for giving me such a gift! how wonderful!#that said - folks please be very cognizant of the warnings at the beginning of the video. there were still parts I had to look away from#also it was cathartic experiencing this movie from this POV bc 'the horror of girlhood being validated' is healing tbh#it was HORRIFYING being a little girl who became a teenage girl! and no one seemed to care what girl-children went through!#I mean folks were dismissive of kids in general but teen girls and little girls are like. a Joke to a lot of people.#everything we liked was ridiculed. and our fears held similarly little weight to adults. and yet. The Horror of Girlhood is so Real.#I Can Only Imagine how much more girls of color were dismissed and targeted and dehumanized.#and then you've got the little Trans girls and teens - who were playing The Horror of Girlhood on like. Nightmare Hard Mode.#the specific horror of girlhood for me as a transmasc AFAB person meant that the existential horror of being seen as a girl#meshed with my gender dysphoria in a way I did not have the language for and would not for many years to come#like the internalized misogyny and the gender dysphoria were literally impossible to parse apart. i couldn't tell which was which.#i just knew i HATED being a girl and i wanted it to STOP. and it was mostly because of how people treated girls.#like it probably took me longer to figure out my gender because of that.
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Actors on Actors || Drew Starkey x actress!reader
Summary: Actress!reader and Drew partaking in Variety's Actors on Actors!!
Warnings: not proofread sozz
Word count: 3,057 loooong one
A/n: damn I felt like I was in the interview room for this one
MASTERLIST
Drew couldnât keep his eyes off you as the crew flitted around, prepping for the Actors on Actors interview with Variety. You were standing just a few feet away, laughing lightly at something one of the staff members had said, your head tilted back, eyes sparkling. To him, you looked utterly breathtakingâethereal, even. Everyone knew Drew Starkey had the biggest crush on you.
He was never subtle about it, often caught in candid interviews or behind-the-scenes clips praising you, his admiration so obvious it became a running joke among his friends and colleagues. But right now, as he adjusted his mic and watched you from the corner of his eye, he wished he hadnât been so vocal about it. His nerves were getting the best of him.
What if he said something dumb? What if you already thought he was just some lovesick fool? He swallowed hard, trying to calm the fluttering in his chest as you walked toward the set, your heels clicking softly against the floor. âDrew Starkey,â you greeted warmly, a radiant smile lighting up your features as you settled into the armchair opposite him.
You sat first, crossing your legs effortlessly, the picture of poise. âY/n,â Drew smiled back, leaning forward slightly to kiss both of your cheeks. The casual intimacy of the gesture sent his pulse racing, but he played it cool as you let out a soft laugh, your perfume lingering faintly in the air.
âHowâs it going?â he asked, his tone steady, though there was a barely perceptible edge to itâa nervous undertone that betrayed just how much this moment meant to him. His gaze lingered on yours, longer than what might be considered polite, but you didnât seem to mind. âIâm good, andââ You paused mid-sentence as Drew suddenly leaned forward, his brows knitting together.
âSorryâhold on,â he murmured, his voice dropping lower, softer, as his fingers reached toward the hem of your dress. âYouâve got a little something.â Before you could respond, he gently plucked a stray piece of lint from the fabric, his fingertips brushing ever so lightly against the material.
The touch was fleeting, almost inconsequential, but it sent a quiet thrill up your spine, one you quickly masked with a polite chuckle. âOhâthanks,â you said, your voice airy as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. âYouâre welcome,â Drew replied, his lips curving into a shy grin, his usual confidence momentarily replaced by something more boyish and endearing.
For a moment, you could swear his ears turned a little pink. You leaned back, a knowing smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you studied him. Of course you knew Drew Starkey had a crush on you. It wasnât exactly a secret.
But there was something undeniably flattering about itâsomething that made you feel just a bit lighter, a bit more self-assured. However, you'd be lying if you said you didn't have a crush on him. It was Drew Starkey after all.
Your eyes met again, and the silence between you stretched into something that felt almost electric. Both of you wore soft, bashful smiles, the moment teetering between unspoken words and playful tension. Finally, you broke into a small laugh, breaking the spell, and Drew looked away, scratching the back of his neck, his own smile lingering despite himself.
âYou know,â you began, shifting slightly in your seat, âitâs kind of funny. Weâve both been at so many of the same events, but weâve never actually talked until now.â Drew chuckled, his posture relaxing just a little. âI know, right? Itâs crazy. First time was⊠the Glass Onion premiere, wasnât it?â
You nodded, humming in agreement. âYeah, I was there supporting Madelyn," Drew spoke. "Ugh, I miss Maddie," You give a small pout as Drew chuckles. âAnd then Immaculate, I remember standing right behind you in the photo line.â You laughed, your cheeks warming at the memory.
âOh my god, yes! And somehow, we still didnât even say hi.â âAnd then the Queer premiere a couple weeks ago,â Drew said, shaking his head in disbelief. âRight,â you said, leaning forward slightly as your laughter softened into a chuckle. âItâs wild how weâve been orbiting around each other this whole time.â
âCrazy, huh?â Drew murmured, his voice lower now, his eyes soft as they lingered on you. The way he looked at you was differentânot just admiration, but genuine warmth, curiosity, and something else you couldnât quite place. âHowâs everything been?â Drew asks, leaning back in his chair, his voice warm but tinged with curiosity, as if he genuinely wants to know every detail.
âItâs good,â you reply with a soft smile, shifting slightly in your seat. âIâm here in LA, which is niceââ Before you can finish, he interjects, his brow arching in curiosity. âYouâre from New England, right?â You click your tongue playfully, tilting your head at him. âI see someoneâs done their research, Mr. Starkey,â you tease, flashing him a playful wink.
Drewâs grin widens, and he throws his head back in laughter, the sound rich and easy, like heâs completely at ease for the first time since the cameras started rolling. âI had to, didnât I? Youâre not exactly an open book. I had to dig deep.â âOh, is that so?â you challenge, your voice lilting with mock skepticism.
âWell, since youâre so curious, tell meâwhat do you know about New England?â you challenge, leaning forward slightly. He grins, but itâs a little sheepish. âNot much, if Iâm honest. Youâll have to fill in the blanks for me. Whatâs it like there?â Your eyes widen in exaggerated disbelief, your hand fluttering to your chest like youâve been insulted.
âWaitâyouâve never been? My goodness, Drew! Come with me, and Iâll show you around properly,â you say, your tone teasing but full of warmth. His smile softens, and he leans in just a little. âIâd like that very much,â he says, his voice carrying a quiet sincerity that makes your breath hitch for a fraction of a second. âWell then,â you reply with a chuckle, regaining your composure.
âI think we can organise something. Youâre from North Carolina, yeah?â Drew hums in confirmation, his grin widening. âBorn and raised. But I gotta admit, New England sounds pretty tempting now.â âIt should,â you quip, pointing at him playfully. Then, after a beat, you lean in slightly, an amused gleam in your eye.
âCan I just sayâand Iâm sure you get this a lotâIâm a huge fan of Outer Banks.â Drew raises an eyebrow, his grin turning slightly bashful as he rubs the back of his neck. âOh no, donât tell me youâre team Pogue,â he jokes, but his eyes are fixed on you with a playful sparkle.
You snort softly, clasping your hands together in your lap. âNot quite. But Iâve gotta say, you play Rafe so convincingly. How do you approach a character like Rafe? I mean, youâre, you know⊠the complete opposite of him.â You chuckle, your words carrying a mix of admiration and disbelief.
Drew leans back in his chair, rubbing his chin thoughtfully before clearing his throat. âWell, Rafe is a challenge, to say the least. Heâs not your typical villain. Itâs easy to hate him on the surface, but if you dig deeper, heâs this broken guy with so many vulnerabilities. Thatâs where I try to focusâon making him human. I want people to see why he makes those awful decisions, even if they donât agree with them. Itâs all about balance.â
You nod, your expression softening as you listen. âThatâs fascinating,â you say earnestly. âItâs definitely what makes him such a compelling character.â Drew smiles, but you notice something different about his gaze. He isnât just answering your questionâheâs watching you, his eyes holding a softness that makes your heart skip a beat.
Before the moment can linger too long, Drew shifts the focus back to you. âAnd your character in Ghosted,â he says, his voice warm and curious. âItâs so different from anything youâve done before. How did you prepare for that role?â You smile at the question, grateful for his genuine interest.
âIt was a lot of emotional work,â you admit, leaning back slightly. âSheâs so different from me in so many ways. I spent a lot of time understanding her motivations, her fears, and what drives her. Itâs a very internal role, so the process was⊠draining, to say the least. But also rewarding.â Drewâs lips curve into a soft smile as he leans forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees.
âSounds intense,â he says, his voice quieter now. âIâve always wondered in the film how you guys manage to keep it together when the emotions run that deep.â You shrug lightly, a thoughtful smile tugging at your lips. âItâs not easy, but thatâs the beauty of the craft, isnât it? Tapping into those emotions and channelling them into something real.â
Drew nods, his expression softening even further. Thereâs something unspoken in his gazeâsomething that lingers longer than words can express. âYeah,â he says finally, his voice dropping just a fraction. âI get that. And for what itâs worth, I think youâre incredible. Iâve seen your workâitâs inspiring.â His words hang in the air, heavy with sincerity, and you canât help the rush of warmth that floods your chest.
A small, genuine smile spreads across your face. âI could say the same for you,â you reply softly, your eyes meeting his. For a moment, itâs like the rest of the room fades away, leaving just the two of you, sharing something unspoken yet deeply understood. Drew shifts in his seat, leaning forward slightly, his curiosity evident. âSo, letâs talk about Saltburn. You played Venetia Catton. How did you even begin to prepare for a role like that?"
You smile, the mention of Saltburn immediately bringing back memories. âHonestly, Venetia was one of the most challenging but rewarding roles Iâve ever taken on. Emerald Fennell has such a sharp, specific vision as a director, and she brought so much depth to every single character. Venetia wasnât just the surface-level socialite that she might appear to be at first glance. Sheâs deeply entrenched in this world of privilege, but thereâs a kind of desperation underneath it allâthis need to hold it all together, to maintain this facade of control.â
Drew nods, his expression thoughtful. âI feel like Emerald has this incredible knack for creating characters who feel both larger than life and painfully real. What was it like working with her?â âIncredible,â you answer without hesitation. âEmerald is so collaborative and detail-oriented, but she also gives you the freedom to bring your own interpretation to the role. Sheâs this powerhouse of creativity, and you always feel like youâre in safe hands with her. Sheâs also hilariousâlike, incredibly funnyâso even on the more intense days, there was always this underlying sense of ease on set.â
Drew smiles at that, clearly invested. âAnd then thereâs the cast. I mean, Rosamund Pike, Barry Keoghan, Jacob Elordiâtheyâre all such giving actors. What was it like working alongside them?â You exhale softly, recalling the dynamic energy of the cast. âIt was surreal, honestly. Rosamund Pike is⊠well, sheâs Rosamund Pike. Sheâs this commanding presence on set, but sheâs also so warm and generous as a scene partner. Barry, on the other hand, is just a chameleon. Heâs fearless in the way he approaches his craft, and watching him work was like taking a masterclass every day.â
âAnd Jacob?â Drew asks, his tone light but curious. âHeâs been everywhere lately.â âJacobâs amazing,â you reply with a smile. âHeâs so grounded, which is kind of funny considering the larger-than-life characters heâs been playing lately. But on set, heâs just this really laid-back, thoughtful guy. We had a lot of fun with our scenes togetherâhe brings this kind of effortless charisma that makes everything feel natural.â
Drew leans back in his chair, letting out a low whistle. âThatâs a stacked team. No pressure at all, right?â You laugh, shaking your head. âOh, no pressure whatsoever. Just casually working with some of the most talented people in the industry.â âWell, you pulled it off,â Drew says sincerely. âVenetia felt so fully realisedâlike, even in her silences, there was so much going on beneath the surface. It was fascinating to watch.â
âThank you,â you murmur, his compliment catching you off guard. Thereâs an earnestness in his voice that makes your heart skip a beat. âSo,â you say, shifting into the next topic, âyouâve played a lot of interesting charactersâRafe Cameron, of course, but also roles like Zach in The Other Zoey and the projects youâve got coming up. Do you feel like people expect you to stick to certain kinds of roles because of how iconic Rafe has become?â
Drewâs smile fades just a little, his expression turning thoughtful. He seems to appreciate the question, his blue eyes searching yours for a moment before he answers. âYeah, thereâs definitely that expectation sometimes,â he admits. âRafe is such a big character, and I think when people see you in one role, they assume thatâs all you can do. But as actors, we want to stretch ourselves, you know? Surprise people.â
He pauses, his gaze never leaving yours. âItâs kind of like you, actually,â he adds softly. âYouâve done dramas, youâve done comedies⊠youâve proven that youâre not just one thing. I think thatâs what makes people really root for youâyou're versatile. You donât let them put you in a box.â The sincerity in his tone catches you off guard, and you can feel heat rise to your cheeks again. You shift slightly in your seat, trying not to let his words completely throw you off balance.
âThatâs⊠really nice of you to say,â you murmur, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. âI think thatâs the beauty of what we do, right? Showing people different sides of ourselves, through the characters we play.â Drew nods, his eyes softening. âExactly. You just said it better than I could.â You smile, letting the moment hang between you for just a beat longer than it probably should.
You adjust in your seat, leaning forward slightly as you shift the focus of the interview. âAlright, letâs talk about Queer. You play Eugene, and from everything Iâve heard, itâs such an emotionally rich and complex role. What drew you to it, Drew?" You smile as he laughs. âHonestly, it was the script. You know with it being based on William S. Burroughsâ novel, and the way it explored themes of longing, identity, and self-destruction⊠it was just so raw. Eugene is such a fascinating character because heâs flawed, but you canât help but empathise with him. It felt like a challenge I couldnât pass up.â
You nod, smiling softly. âIt sounds like it required you to really dig deep emotionally. Was it intimidating stepping into a story like that?â âCompletely,â Drew admits with a laugh. âBut it was also the kind of role that forces you to grow as an actor. I had to be vulnerable in a way I hadnât been before, which was scary but also freeing. And having someone like Luca Guadagnino directingâit felt like a safety net, you know? He creates such a safe, collaborative environment.â
âLucaâs brilliant,â you agree, your voice filled with admiration. âAnd then thereâs Daniel Craig. What was your experience working with him? I mean- I remember working with him on Glass Onion and being blow away by how meticulous he is." Drew grins, a flicker of boyish excitement crossing his face. âOh, heâs incredible. Daniel is one of those actors whoâs just so present in every scene. He has this intensity, but heâs also really generous as a scene partner. He listens, reactsâhe makes you feel like what youâre doing really matters.â
You smile, nodding your head, "He's also got such a great sense of humour!" Drew laughs, nodding. âExactly! Like, he can go from delivering this super heavy, emotional scene to cracking a joke that has the entire crew in stitches. Itâs such a unique balance, and it keeps the energy on set really light, even during the intense moments.â
âDo you have a favourite memory with him from filming?â you ask, genuinely curious. âThereâs this one scene we did that was really emotionally chargedâlike, full-on tears and everything,â Drew begins, his smile softening. âAfter we wrapped the take, I was still kind of in that headspace, and Daniel just clapped me on the shoulder and said, âWell, that was bloody exhausting, wasnât it?â It snapped me out of it, and we both just started laughing. It was one of those moments where you realise, âOkay, this is heavy, but itâs also what we love to do.ââ
You laugh at the image of Danielâs bluntness, shaking your head. âThatâs so him. He has a way of grounding you, doesnât he?â âCompletely,â Drew agrees. âAnd honestly, having him on set made me feel like I had to step up my game. Heâs such a pro, and you canât help but want to match that level of commitment.â
You tilt your head, studying him for a moment. âIt sounds like Queer really pushed you as an actor, in the best way.â âIt did,â Drew says earnestly. âAnd, you know, hearing you talk about working with Danielâwhat was it like for you? I mean, I imagine Glass Onion had a very different vibe, but Iâm sure he brought that same energy.â
âOh, absolutely,â you reply. âDaniel has this way of making everyone feel like theyâre part of something special. And with Glass Onion, there was this playful energy because the story is so twisty and fun, but Daniel was always so focused and intentional with every scene.â Drew leans in slightly, clearly fascinated. âDid you ever have one of those moments with him where you just stopped and thought, âWow, Iâm working with James Bondâ?â
You laugh, nodding. âMore than once! Itâs impossible not to. But then you get to know him, and heâs just⊠Daniel. Down-to-earth, funny, and incredibly kind. It makes you forget about the whole âJames Bondâ thingâat least for a little while.â Drew grins. âThatâs good to know. I feel like weâve both been lucky to work with him, even if Iâm still a little starstruck.â
âThatâs what Daniel Craig does to you, ladies and gentlemen,â you teased, your laughter light as you pointed at the camera, winking playfully. Drewâs amused chuckle followed, a soft sound that matched the warmth in your tone. The atmosphere of the interview had shifted, the playful banter between the two of you creating an easy camaraderie as the conversation drew to a close.
âWell, I think weâve discovered we have a lot in common after all,â Drew said, his smile widening as he turned toward you. His eyes glinted with a mix of amusement and genuine appreciation. âThis has been a great pairing, truly.â
Your smile softened as you met his gaze, the connection between the two of you almost palpable. âI think so too,â you responded, your voice light and sincere, a soft chuckle escaping you as your gaze lingered on him. âVery great pairing,â you added, your words more than just agreementâthere was an unspoken understanding, a mutual respect that hung in the air.
Drewâs smile widened slightly at your reply, the chemistry between the two of you becoming more evident as the final moments of the interview came into focus. Despite the cameras and the public personas, there was something undeniably real in the exchange, something that hinted at more than just a professional connection.
#drew starkey x y/n#drew starkey#fanfiction#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey x actress!reader#drew starkey fic#drew starkey x you#drew starkey fanfiction#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey x female reader#rafe cameron#outer banks#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x you#obx fanfiction#rafe cameron x fem!reader#drew starkey fluff#drew starkey angst#drew starkey au#rafe cameron fanfic#obx rafe cameron#rafe cameron imagine#outer banks x reader#outerbanks x you#outerbanks rafe#outerbanks au#outerbanks fanfiction#outerbanks x reader#rafe x y/n
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âplease donât make me say it if you arenât going to say it backâ with a desperately in love with joel reader would hit so muchâŠ
weaved around your finger like yarn
a/n: me writing for joel again?? this has sat in my inbox for over a year and i never meant to actually take this long with it. but i finally figured out how to write this concept. and now i am actually obsessed with the small world of softness i created for these two. this is yes jackson joel, but nothing bad happens ever to him because why would it? it's all fine right?
summary: he never made space in his life for love in the aftermath of destruction. the after of his life he once thought would extend past decades of gray hair, smile lines carved in around his mouth now set in frowns and sneers. but snowfall and alcohol blur the lines for both of you when winter comes to jackson.
word count: 1.6k+
pairing: joel miller x reader
warnings: not explicit, love confessions, heavy makeout sessions, alcohol consumption, tipsy joel, sad joel, laughter at the end of the world, hope.
He can't remember laughing until his stomach hurt. The ache that spilled into his chest, warming his insides with a sun like quality that left him shivering. He can't recall the feel of his cheeks pulled so wide the sensation became a phantom pain seconds after. He knows it happened. He can distinctly recall the jokes, the joy. But the laughter lingers like a ghost at the back of his mindâtranslucent and gray and distorted enough to feel false.
Alcohol simmers in his stomach with a rueful intent. A malignant aftermath that would hit him in a few hours after two months of attempted sobriety. Ellie insisted, he accepted. Easy enough to say. Difficult to follow through with.
He had his days where whiskey sounded better than the flavor of bacon Tommy would bring him in the early mornings. But the dismay in your eyes helped him hold off, regain his awareness of a world not yet shattered. For once in quite a long time...he finally lived. For you, for Ellie, for Sarah.
He lived to see his hair grow longer and the grays appear more frequently. To drink coffee in the mornings on a porch you were already settled on. To help you fix small things here and there in your cabin next door. He lived for your smile, the light in your eyes. The curve of your lips as they pulled up into bolstering peals of laughterâthe furrow in your brow as you frowned from endless frustrations on long hard days.
Joel Miller lived to love you.
He existed to dig his heels in and wait shit outâit's what he was good at, what he knew how to do. But for you he relented quicker than ice on a hot asphalt driveway back home in Texas. His mind became sand that slipped through your giving handsâheart a fluttering mess that sang a tune he could never get right on the guitar stashed in his living room.
Days bloomed into weeks which grew into months. Eventually a year passed and what used to be difficult and awkward to be around people again, felt like breathing the fresh winter air. The jackets he managed to find hung on hooks by the door, a pair of heavy boots beside the small table Tommy crafted him.
The mornings were nice. When hot water hit ground coffee and the aroma plagued his kitchen for hours at a time. The evenings called you towards himâsimple cooking skills shared in the confines of a home he pined for you to reside in.
Life was a sliver of peace he never imagined he'd get again. But the hole in his heart never faded, the pain still rang out sharp enough to have him clamping down on the inside of his cheek. And your smile made his stomach ache with a longing deep enough to scar.
Tommy told him to buck up and do something. Ellie called him a fucking idiot.
You...gave no indication you felt the same way. So silent and reserved he would remain.
Your feet slid on icy, fingers gripping tightly to his jacket with a yelp in a quick attempt to save yourself from slamming to the ground. Joel snickered loud and brash and a wash of embarrassment burned under frozen cheeks. Dragging you up, his arm looped tightly around your waistâhand pressed harsh and insistent to the small of your back. You swallowed the butterflies at the sight of his face flushed redâeyes shining from the effect of too much whiskey.
"We were bad tonight," you muttered, breath forming a cloud between your faces.
He grinnedâskin buzzing at the close proximity of your form. "Only a little bit."
"You're not supposed to drink Joel."
Leaning in he traded his smile like a secret; you tucked it into your chest with a sharp breath. "I won't tell if you don't, darlin'."
"Joel..."
"C'mon. No one's gettin' in trouble here."
A blade pierced your heart brutallyâspilling crimson along pale white snow. Even as Joel remained entirely unaware of how you clung to him. How your body called his nameâyour mind plagued with thoughts of his being, with images of his smile, with the sound of his raspy voice. He'd never know the way you cherished each moment with him. The mornings tucked away from an unruly worldâthe nights shared between friends who might one day be more.
Your teeth scraped along the cracked skin of your bottom lip, eyes cast up to the curl of his lips. The words sprang forth faster than you could drag them back. Your chest of secrets unlocked and bared to the man who drowned you in his small flecks of joy. Later you'd blame the alcohol. When the headache ravaged your head and an ache lingered between your thighs.
Later you'd comb over every small glance and breathy word.
"I like spending time with you Joel," you breathed, fingers toying with the front of his leather coat. "I like...um..."
The breath caught in his throat, gaze desperate to catch yours. "Yeah sugar?"
"It's a hard thing to say." Another cloud of your whiskey tinged breath filled the air.
"You can tell me anythin'. You know that right?" Even as hope flared bright and scorching through the width of his chest. "I'll listen."
Hesitation spilled into the night, your voice a soft whisper he barely caught. "Please don't make me say it if you aren't going to say it back."
Oh didn't you know?
Did you not see how his gaze dug beneath the layers of flesh and bone, of tendons and veins that clung to your form? Did you not understand he would take a bullet for you? That he'd bear the wound of a warrior's death to keep you alive? How could you not know that his love stuck to his tongue with a saccharine bitterness he swallowed down like the drugs he once took to numb his mind?
You healed pieces of his soul you never broke. A marred and fucked puzzle that was meant to find a home six feet underground. By his own hand no less. He was destined to dieâborn to sufferâyet you swathed him wool with the promise of a peaceful life.
A future etched by the hands of love.
"Say it," he pleaded, frozen hand cupping your cheek.
"It's more than just that." The breath you took shot adrenaline down his spine. "I like our mornings. I like our dinners and conversation. And even when you come into town with me. But I...I love..."
The glossy nature of your eyes created by unshed tears that pooled at your waterline dug the knife deep enough to meld it within his heart. You didn't know. You couldn't have. His silence, his hesitation, swallowed every emotion he might have told youâevery secret uttered in the shadows of night that told only half his story.
He told you about Sarah. About their life together, about her smile. That in itself felt like a proclamation of loveâa key to the heart he thought stopped beating long ago.
"I knew it would freak you out," you muttered, pulling away from his hold.
Only for him to panic. His hand gripped the back of your jacket, pushing you towards him hard enough for your feet to slip again. But your gasp was swallowed by the cold press of his mouth to yours. Lips chapped by the winter air slid against your parted mouth as you froze against his chest. Your hands hung listlessly at your sides. He kissed you tenderly, attempting to wake you from the spell of shock, but to no avail did it bring you back.
"'M sorry." His words were muffled against your chin, forehead pressed to yours and eyes squeezed shut. "I shouldn't haveâ"
The press of your fingers into his cheeks jolted him backâeyes wide as you dragged him back with a stifled moan. Your mouth found his tongue hot and wet along his bottom lip in a pleading motion he complied to instantly. Stepping forward he fell into you with a deep groan. One that echoed and vibrated right down to your stomachâone you savored with a lick along his back teeth.
Hands cupped your ass with an insistent need to mold you closer, fingers digging into the plush flesh he longed to bite and taste. You tasted like whiskey. You smelled like him. It made him dizzy with want, anxious to lead you back to his porchâto seat you on his kitchen counter in the mornings while the coffee went cold.
"Fuck I wanna take ya home sugar," he grunted, biting at your lower lip with a grin.
Your breathless reply made the hair stand on the back of his neck. "You can."
"No." He shook his head, stealing another kiss with a gritty moan. "Not tonight. 'M gonna do this proper."
"Proper," you smiled, tugging on the longer curls you refused to let him cut. "You're such an old man Miller."
The large breadth of his hand cupped your chin, pushing the cheeks he lightly bit into together. "Won't be sayin' that tomorrow when I ain't got all this fuckin' alcohol in me."
"Yeah?" The droop of your eyelidsâthe darkened iris now filled with lustâset his teeth on edge. His body hummed with a new buzz he craved since meeting you. "Prove it."
"Oh I will." He grinned sharply, licking his teeth like a wolf waiting to pounce. "Don't you worry 'bout that."
A glimmer in your eyes caught his attention, the grip on your face loosening. "You know I love you right darlin'?"
You smiledâbig and brightâand Joel felt another piece of his soul set back into place. "I love you too Joel."
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fic#joel miller#pedrostories#my writing
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TWENTY-SIX MONTHS
Before Todoroki Shoto came Pro Hero Shoto. You would be a fool to think he would pick the first before the other. You would be a fool to think that you, a citizen with no name, could ever stand by his side.
â starring. baby daddy!todoroki shoto x fem!reader
â tags. miscommunication trope, angst, pregnancy and giving birth, friends with benefits, vague relationships, running away, slight single parent!au
â warnings. ages are unmentioned, but shoto is in his late 20s/early 30s, smut, soft sex, cunnilingus, praise, p in v, use of petnames (baby, pretty girl), reader gets called a good girl once, shoto is highkey a munch
â word count. 8.2k
â requested? no
â notes. this one ruined me tbh LOL i have a nasty habit of slipping btw present and past tense so the tenses in this one might be all over the place :')))
Whatever you and Todoroki Shoto had together, you knew it wasnât romantic.
You were his outlet. His source of relaxation when being a hero became too much to bear on his shoulders alone. You were fantastical. You were illusionary. With you, he was no longer Pro Hero Shoto, Number Three Hero. With you, he was just Shoto. And for your moments away from the world hidden beneath wrinkled sheets and closed curtains, that was enough for him. When morning came, and those curtains had to be drawn, he would become Pro Hero Shoto again, and you would wake up to an empty bed.
For you, he was everything.
For you, he was your hero before he became a Pro. He saved you from succumbing to the stress of standing out to survive as a support class student. He saved you from your insecurities and false ambitions, and he saved you from living a life you didnât truly want. Todoroki Shoto was your best friend before he became the man shrouded in shadow â the man you hid away in secrecy to bed whenever he wanted.
He told you he would be gone for a while. A mission in upper Kyoto that took him away from your arms while you stayed safe in Tokyo. He assured you that he would be fine and return to you as soon as possible. If you were a fool, you mightâve taken those to heart and swooned under the pretense of love. But you knew better.
Before Todoroki Shoto came Pro Hero Shoto. You would be a fool to think he would pick the first before the other. You would be a fool to think that you, a citizen with no name, could ever stand by his side. In your eyes, Shoto put his work before himself. Admirable, strong, ever-the-reliable Pro Hero Shoto. The nights he spent with you as just Shoto made you wonder who else got to see his true self.
The second month of his absence came, and you were sick. An illness had overtaken you, leaving you bedridden for days on end. At first, it had just been nausea. You put it off as motion sickness â you often had to take the train to and from anywhere. Perhaps your stomach had simply met its limit and was taking it out on you with lashes of sickness and vomiting.
After a week of being washed away in your bile, you realized that you had yet to bleed that month. Rather, you realized you hadnât had your monthly bleeding for a while. You werenât stupid. You knew what it all meant, and you knew the consequences of your actions had finally caught up to you. You hid away from the world, only leaving to purchase tests from the store.
The answers mocked you. PREGNANT. TWO MONTHS+.
You considered getting rid of it. To keep it your dirty little secret. Shoto would never have to know â no one would ever have to know. But as you stared at your reflection in the mirror, your hand resting atop your stomach, you felt at peace for once. As if you finally had a reason to keep going.
Five months had passed since he was gone, and you felt it now more than ever. You never explained to any of your friends or neighbours who was responsible for the swelling of your tummy, nor about the packages of furniture fit for a nursery that showed up on your doorstep. They never asked. No one knew your trysts with Shoto, and you planned to keep it that way.
For his sake.
You wished. You desperately wished that he could stay by your side, that he could support you through this time of anxiety and worry. You daydreamed of welcoming him home, your little bundle of joy wrapped in your arms as you kissed Shoto on the cheek â a reward for working hard as he always did. You thought about spending more than just nights of pleasure with the two-toned man, about wearing his ring and raising your beloved child together.
As a family.
Thirteen months had passed since you last saw Todoroki Shoto.
Thirteen long, gruelling, and lonely months were spent mourning his absence, even though he was still alive somewhere. It felt like the clouds that followed you for weeks parted only when your son was born. He looked like you. He had your nose and your eyes. He had the same rounded cheeks you still adorn, even well into adulthood. His voice was like bells on a clear sunny day, and when he lay in your arms, you declared that you would love him for all you were worth.
Even if the tuft of red and white on his head brought you immense heartache.
A selfish part of you wished that nothing of your son, whom youâve named Yami, would resemble his father. That way, you could truly hide his origins â your past that you refused to uncover. But the bigger part of you was overjoyed. The moment you laid eyes on his hair, matted down with blood and amniotic fluid, you sobbed uncontrollably. The nurses and midwife recognized the two-toned hair immediately and watched you with pitiful eyes as you clutched Yami to your chest.
You moved away the second you were discharged from the hospital, baby carrier in tow. You wished your neighbours well and thanked them for being so kind to you in the years you lived among them. You were gone within that same week.
You lived peacefully in your new home, tucked away in the countryside of southern Japan. You opted to stay away from TVs and the internet, worried that seeing his face might make you regret the rash decision to pick up and leave. Yami was growing quickly, already large for a four-month-old. His hair grew out, more red than white.Â
You didnât know if Shoto had made it back from his mission. If he did, you werenât sure how long he had been back or whether he had sustained any injuries. You didnât know if he went to your apartment to search for his fantasy. You didnât know if he thought of you at all.
You didnât know if he was alive.
The longer you spent away from the man, the more your heart yearned for him. Whenever Yami would quiet down for his nap, you stared out the window at the acres of empty farmland. In the vastness of space, you could only think of him. The man who had taken your heart from the tender age of fifteen. The man who possessed your life in his hands, though your essence seemed invisible to those blue and grey eyes.Â
The fool in you wondered if he ever had feelings for you â if he ever burned for you the way you did for him.Â
You felt like a dessert. Scorched inside and empty. Golden sands represented himâburning to the touch and yet all-encompassing. Even without him by your side, he was always there. He surrounded you, dragging you in, and you let him.
Yamiâs babbling would always break you out of your reverie, the pangs of guilt and sorrow gnawing away at your still-beating heart. The routine remained the same, day after day. After he woke up from his nap with an incoherent cry for his mother, you would settle him onto your lap and cry. You sobbed into his soft tufts of hair, apologizing for taking him away from his father, for hiding him away from the world just because you were a coward.
Yami was your darkness. He was your uncovered secret.Â
Two years and two months had passed since you last saw Todoroki Shoto.
Yami was seventeen months old and starting to look more and more like his father. He took his first steps earlier than any parenting book had told you he would, and it wasnât long after when he said his first word. It seemed the world was against you, and the universe was punishing you for keeping Yami away. You broke down for the first time in a while when that first word hit your ears.
âDa⊠DadaâŠâ
You werenât alone in your silent, unspoken wishes to be at Shotoâs side. Poor Yami, who had never met his father, spoke Shoto into existence with that one word.
âMy baby,â you sobbed, hugging Yami tightly to you as he babbled, repeating those two syllables over and over. âMy poor baby. Iâm sorry. Iâm so sorry. Mommyâs so sorry, my babyâŠâ You rocked back and forth, crying endlessly. Yamiâs hands grasped at your clothes, hair, and face. His little round features twisted into a grimacing cry as he watched tears pour from your tired eyes for a reason he didnât yet understand.
The day he spoke his first word was when you showed him a picture of his father for the first time. Recognition flashed behind rounded eyes, recognition for a man heâd never met.
While you were grocery shopping â Yami balanced on your hip, a paper bag full of produce in the other arm â you heard Shotoâs name.
âDidnât you hear? Pro Hero Shoto is here! In town!â
âIsnât that weird? Why would such a hotshot be here, of all places? We arenât even on most mapsâŠâ
âWho cares?! Do ya think I can get an autograph?â
You break out into a run without paying attention to the rest of the conversation. You hold Yami to your chest, supporting his head as you run with all your might. The paper bag of fruit and vegetables lay forgotten behind you, surely to be crushed by any passing vehicles. You run until you canât run anymore, chest heaving in exhaustion. Using your object manipulation quirk, you open the front door to your house without taking your hands off Yami.
You whisper sweetings into his ear, telling him everything would be okay. Maybe you were telling yourself.
Not long after you returned home, the door rattled with a gentle knock. The very door you locked moments ago. You hold your breath, not wanting to see anyone. You didnât want to see him.
Your name was spoken in that soft voice you missed so much. Before you could stop him, Yami started sobbing, his high-pitched cries alerting the person outside that you were there. You shush Yami desperately, rocking him back and forth in an attempt to calm him down. You kiss his forehead, silently begging him to stop crying.
Your name was called out again, this time panicked and louder. Yamiâs cries increase in volume, and you feel your eyes water all the same.
The door hinges begin to frost over, and itâs knocked down in seconds. The loud noise scares your son, causing him to sob uncontrollably as he grasps painfully at your hair. You hide him behind you as you face the intruder head-on. Without blinking an eye, you use your quirk to lift the door off the ground, pushing it against the intruder, hoping to push him out completely.
The door is pushed away easily. After all, you are no match for Pro Hero Shoto.
He has gotten larger in the twenty-six months since you last saw him. His shoulders grew broader, his hero uniform barely hiding the dense but lean muscle that hid beneath it. His hair was longer, falling into his eyes as if he didnât have time to take care of it. The man in front of you looks different from the man you knew, but it is undoubtedly him.
He breathes out your name, steam rolling off his left side and icicles glistening atop his skin on his right. He steps over the forgotten door, into your house, and into your safe haven, large and commanding of your attention. You try to make yourself bigger, to hide Yami from his eyes, and perhaps to hide your shame as you stare at the father of your child.
âI looked for you everywhere,â he gravels, his voice deep and crackling with emotion. âI came home, and you were gone. Do you have any idea how fucking scary that was?! No one knew where you were, and your apartment was empty. I didnât know if you were safe, I didnât know if you were aloneâŠâ Shoto steps closer to you, anger seeping into his expression. âFor fuckâs sake, I didnât know if you were alive!â
Your heart hammers in your chest as he grows closer, his fists clenching angrily by his side. His eyes search you desperately, searching for any sign of injury or abuse. They trace over your wrists and ankles, perhaps looking for signs that you were held here not on your own will, that you didnât leave him just because you wanted to.
You pick your brain for the right words to say. You have thought about this day for years, and now that heâs in front of you, you donât know what to think. Your mind is a mess of shame and joy, your heart struggling in a fight against itself. Analyzing him, your eyes rake over his body. There were a few more scars you donât remember, some fine lines on his face that werenât there before, but it was him.
As your brain wraps around the fact that Shoto was really there after over two years, Shoto collapses to his knees in front of you. He all but crawls over to you as he shoves his face into your thighs. Hot, stinging tears hit your skin as he cries into your lap, his hands reaching to hold you. Large, calloused fingers grasped at your thighs, pulling you closer to him.
âI was so scared,â he admits, his body shaking as he cries silently. âI thought⊠I thought a villain had taken you.â
Your hands hover behind you, keeping Yami hidden. His cries have thankfully subsided the second Shoto entered the room, but you werenât sure for how long that would last. You can feel him grabbing at your shirt, trying to peek around you. Resisting the urge to wipe away Shotoâs tears, you grip onto your son tightly.
âHow did you know I was here?â You lick your dry lips, wincing at how raspy your voice is. The first words spoken to this man in over two years are painted over with wariness and caution, very unlike the words of encouragement and longing you had given him your last night together. âNo one knew I was here. Not even my family, so how did youâŠâ You trail off, unsure if you want to know the answer to this question.
Shoto pulls away from your lap, looking up at you with bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks. âI searched for you every day. I never stopped once I realized you were gone. I was in communication with every hero in this fucking country, hoping that one day one of them would spot you.â He hastily wipes his cheeks, his trembling hands remaining at your side.
âWhy did you go?â he asks in a whisper. His voice, low and cracking, is broken as he speaks. âWhy did you leave me? Did I do something? Was IâŠâ Shoto swallows thickly as his insecurities taint his mind. âWas I not good to you? Did I make you leave?â
His endless questions send you for a loop. In front of you was not Pro Hero Shoto, but just Shoto. Your Shoto, the one you long for in your dreams. The one who paints your every happy memory and the one whose name you whisper into the dead of night.
And yet, as you feel Yamiâs tiny hands grab your arm, you canât answer any of his questions.
âDadaâŠ!â
The both of you freeze, and the world stands still for a moment. Shotoâs trembling gaze slowly left yours, meeting the eyes of the toddler behind you. The first thing Shoto notices is his hair â bright red with streaks of white bleeding through. He feels his heart stop and start again, his hold on you finally slipping as his body goes somewhat limp. He falls back onto his heels, fully kneeling before you now.
Snapping out of it, you turn around and take Yami into your arms, facing away from Shoto as you shush the poor baby, calming him down quietly. Shoto can only watch as you handle him with a gentle care he isnât privy to.
Without sparing another glance at Shoto, you start to walk away. He calls out your name hastily, and you can hear him clamber to his feet. Swallowing harshly, you look at him over your shoulder. Shoto looks out of place in your cozy living room, too large for the space. And yet, he appears small. His shoulders are hunched in as he reaches out to you with a face that begs you not to leave.
âHe⊠needs to be put down for his nap,â you whisper, kissing Yamiâs temple. âWe⊠can talk after.â
Before you can regret your words, you head into his nursery, painted a soft yellow. You coo at your son, gently resting him in the large crib that took up most of the roomâs space. You hum a lullaby to him as you stroke his hair, looking down at him with nothing but love.
Even long after he fell asleep, you donât move. You stay there for a while, watching Yami so closely you donât notice the presence at the door.
Shotoâs voice comes in a whisper. âHe⊠He is mine, isnât he?â
You can only nod, shame filling your soul as tears slip from your watery eyes. âHis name is Yami,â you speak, your voice cracking.
Shoto flinches but waits patiently as he watches you come to a stand. He doesnât rush you as you place Yamiâs favourite stuffed animals by his side, leaning down and kissing his forehead before approaching Shoto.
âLetâs talk in my room,â you whisper, glancing at Yami before shutting the door behind you.Â
The two of you enter your room, the stifling air suffocating you as you shuffle over to your bed. Shaky hands reach for your pillows as you keep your back to the Todoroki, fluffing them to keep yourself busy. Your throat feels grating as you swallow down harshly. The room feels both hot and freezing, which you assume is his doing.
He doesnât say anything either as he stares at the back of your head. Your hair looks different from the last time he saw you, and the clothes over your body arenât articles he can remember you own. He thinks back to that night when quiet goodbyes were whispered between sweaty sheets. He wonders what went wrong.
His eyes wander, his frightful gaze tearing away from you only to look around your room. There are remnants of you everywhere. Family pictures hang from the walls, and old posters he vaguely remembers from your apartment are pasted against grey paint. It was you, but different. It wasnât as colourful as your old room, and your trinkets are either out of sight or gone altogether.
When his eyes rest on you once more, a million questions run through his mind. Why did you leave him without a word? Images of your child, the very one who bore a striking resemblance to himself, flash in the forefront of his mind.
âHow have you been?â you croak out after too many beats of silence. Hugging a pillow to your chest, you turn ever so slightly, only glancing at him from the corner of your eye as if it were painful to even look at him. Perhaps it is.Â
Shoto can only stare at you in disbelief, his brows curling upward as his heartache shines through. âHow have I been?â he repeats breathily, his low voice raising half an octave. His mouth opens, but the words die on his tongue. Only after an excruciatingly long moment does he find the words again. âIâve been miserable. You were gone.â
You wince at the strain in his voice, gripping the pillow even tighter. Your knuckles whiten under your tight hold. âIâm sorry,â you whisper pathetically, swallowing the lump in your throat painfully.
âWhy?â he asks again, his voice cracking as he takes a tentative step toward you. âWhy did you disappear?â Shoto reaches for you, stopping just short of grabbing you by the shoulders. He canât tell if he wants to shake you until you see sense or hug you and never let go.
âI had to,â you urge, finally meeting his eyes. Your breath hitches, and you regret turning to him, but now you canât look away. Those mismatched eyes that used to bore into yours with unreadable emotion as he draped his body over yours were tired, dull, and pained.
Shoto is the first to break eye contact, staring at your floorboards as he attempts to string together his thoughts. âWas it me?â
With furrowed brows, you shake your head no. âShotoââ
âIf I knew,â he rushes out, interrupting you. His gaze drops to your stomach, and he imagines what you mightâve looked like, swollen with his child. âIf I knew, I wouldâve come back sooner. Fuck the mission, you needed me and IâŠâ He cuts himself off, bringing his hands up to your shoulders. His grip is tight enough to force you to look at him straight on, yet gentle. You think you can feel them trembling over your clothes, but you arenât sure if youâre imagining it or not. âIâm so sorry,â he almost cries. The pillow in your hands falls to the carpeted floor, but neither of you cares to pay attention to it.
âShoto, no,â you whisper, cupping his cheeks as you press your lips together. You thumb away his unshed tears. âThatâs not why I left.â
âThen why?â he breathes.
You purse your lips, biting at the inside of your cheek as you reflect on those lonely nights spent under cold blankets. âYouâre a hero,â you speak slowly. âI never had a place in your life, Shoto, not really. Iâm a nobody. If⊠If I stayed, I would have been holding you back. You deserved more than that.â
Shoto narrows his eyes at you. âI deserve you,â he blurts, his tongue stained with vexation at the mere implication of your words. You watch as his lower lip wobbles momentarily before he steels his expression. âIt isnât your place to decide whether or not you should be in my life. Thatâs something for me to decide, but you took that away from me.â
âTook what away, Shoto?â you exclaim, raising your voice for the first time that day. âThe sex? The comradery? You could have easily found that in someone else.â It hurts to admit, but you know itâs true. During those days together, you were a mere placeholder for someone better than you. Someone who could relate to him more than a nobody civilian could ever hope to.
After all, Pro Hero Shoto could have anyone he wanted.
Any anger left in his body dissipates as his body tenses. His face scrunches into something painful, mouth ajar and eyes wide as his grip on your shoulders tightens slightly. âWhat?â he whispers, the word dripping from his tongue like ice water. âWhat are you talking about?â The room feels like itâs dropped a few degrees, and if the frost that clings to his skin is any indication, it might have.
Averting your gaze, you try to wedge yourself out of his tight hold, but he doesnât let you, taking another step forward. Youâre practically chest-to-chest as he shakes your shoulders gently. âWhat are you talking about?â he repeats with an urgent tongue. âSomeone else? What are you talking about?â
You heave a sigh. âDonât play dumb, Shoto. Youâre⊠you. You could easily find someone to replace me.â
âIs that what you think?â he breathes harshly, steam rolling off his skin, melting the frost. âThat youâre just some replaceable body in my bed? Do you really think that lowly of me?â His expression twists as he reaches up to cup your jaw. His touch is burning, and yet you find yourself leaning into his palm.
âIsnât it the truth?â you murmur, your voice catching. âIâm not anyone special, Shoto.â
âYouâre my girlfriend,â he spits out, angry at the notion that you were a nobody. âYouâre special to me. Isnât that all that matters? I couldnât care less about the fact that youâre not a hero. That never mattered to me, so donât give me that bullshit.â
Your eyes snap open as you stare at Shoto in shock. You feel your body freeze over, and suddenly, your lungs are empty. â... What did you call me?â you croak.
Shoto stares deeply into your eyes, his own darting back and forth as he tries to read you. âMy girlfriend.â His voice wavers as he tries to understand why you look so confused.
âWe werenât dating,â you cry incredulously. âWhat are you talking about?â You watch Shoto as realization washes over his distraught expression and something within you cracks. âShoto, what are you talking about?â you ask again with a frantic pull to your voice. Shotoâs hands slip from your shoulders.
âWerenât we?â he whispers quietly, any strength sapping from his body as he limply stands before you.
With your heart beating faster than ever, your breath leaves chapped lips in uneven puffs of strangled air. âWe never talked about being anything more than justâŠâ You trail off, the past couple of years draping over your shoulders, weighing you down heavily.
âYou thought I was with you for the sex?â Shoto doesnât know how to feel or how to act. His face twists as several emotions run through him before his mind settles on heartache. His multicoloured eyes try to meet yours, but youâve already looked away. He moves his body, craning his neck to take a good look at you. He wants to see you. He wants you to see him. He utters your name in a broken whisper. âIt was never just sex for me, baby,â he declares, his voice cracking in sorrow. âYou had to have known that.â
He moves closer, cradling your face as he gently forces you to look at him. When he sees the indecisive glaze thatâs taken over your eyes, he feels his heart break just a little more. âPlease tell me you knew. That you know it was more than that.â
You blink away tears, your chest rising and falling quickly as you meet his intensive gaze. âYouâd only come to me at night,â you mutter, caught between wanting to lean into his touch and wanting to pull his hands off of you. âYou never stayed. You were always gone in the morning, Shoto. What was I supposed to believe?â
Shoto fights back a wince as he mulls over your words. He sighs, absentmindedly rubbing your cheeks with his thumbs. âI was so busy with hero work,â he murmurs in horror-filled realization, frowning at himself. He shakes his head, his shaggy hair falling into his eyes. âThatâs not an excuse. I should have tried harder to be around. But it was never just sex for me.â
His throat bobs as he swallows thickly, his forehead coming down to rest against yours. His eyes flutter closed, wet eyelashes sticking together as he lets out a trembling breath. âPlease believe me, baby,â he pleads quietly. âIâll be better. Iâll show you I love you. Iâll make sure you know this time, so pleaseâŠâ
Those three words pull the air from your lungs, but when he opens his eyes, youâre left truly breathless. Love, sorrow, and regret swirl in his blue and grey hues. You donât remember the last time youâve looked at Shoto like this. âPlease come back to me.â
âShotoââ
âIâll stop being a hero,â he interrupts you, a deep frown tugging at his lips. âIf thatâs what it takes.â
You make a face, your brows knitting together tightly. âDonât be stupid, Shoto,â you hush. âBeing a hero is your life. Iâd never ask you to throw that away for me.â
âYouâre my life,â he presses. One of Shotoâs hands moves to cup the back of your head, carding through your hair. âOur child will be my life. You matter more to me than anything else.â
Sighing, you close your eyes as you lean into his touch. âIâd be even more upset if you gave up,â you murmur. âI understand that being a hero leaves you with little free time. Soââ
âNo,â Shoto cries out. âDonât make excuses for me. I shouldâve tried harder. I should have realized things between us werenât clear.â He pauses for a moment, his brow bone tensing as he bites at his lip. âDo you love me?â
With a softened gaze, you knock on his forehead with a weak fist. âYouâve always been it for me, Sho.â
Shoto smiles at the nickname, a slight tick of the corner of his mouth. If you hadnât been so close and hadnât known his expressions as well as you did, you mightâve missed it. He leans closer, his nose brushing against your cheek as he kisses your tear-stained skin sweetly. âI love you,â he hushes, tugging you closer. His fingertips trail up your spine until theyâre entwined in your hair. âI love you.â
A shiver runs down your spine at the sensation as you curl into him. Your hands trail up his broad chest as you wrap your arms around his neck. Inhaling deeply, you stare at him in hesitation. âIs this real?â you murmur, your mind swirling with the vivid dreams youâve procured over the years. âYouâre really here, right? And you reallyâŠâ
âI love you,â he says again. He says it one, two, three more times, whispering into the side of your neck and he nudges himself into the empty space. His lips, which are cold against your blistering heat, brush against your earlobe as he all but whimpers your name. âThis is real. Iâm here, baby.â
You canât help but believe him, your eyes closing as he presses kiss after kiss on your skin, moving down your neck until heâs reached your collarbones. He nips at the spot, his tongue jutting out to soothe the darkening mark heâs left behind. âSho,â you scold weakly, your nails scraping against his scalp gently as you brush his hair out of his face.
Shoto grins boyishly at you, his hands resting on your hips as he guides you backwards, stepping over the forgotten pillow you dropped. âLet me show you,â he breathes out, looking down at you with wide eyes until he has you sat on the edge of your unmade bed. âLet me show you how much I love you.â
Then, he pauses, a brief flash of bashfulness flickering behind his embering gaze. âPlease?â
Youâre reaching out for him before you can answer, tugging him down to your height. You donât reply with words, pressing desperate lips against his as you pull him over you until heâs pinned over your trembling body. Strong forearms rest beside your head, his skillful tongue swiping along the seam of your mouth. You almost moan at his tasteâa taste you never forgot.
Shoto slants himself against you, your bodies resembling a mess of limbs. He flips you over with ease, strong hands gripping your hips to seat you atop his shaking lap. The shivers that run down the expanse of his body donât go unnoticed, and you peck his lips once, then twice, before pulling away. Heâs staring up at you breathlessly, lust-blown eyes dark but widened as he takes in the sight of you.
âAre you okay?â you whisper, stroking along the edge of his scar. Shoto leans into your palm, his eyes briefly fluttering closed, relishing in your warmth that he was deprived of for so long.
âIâm okay,â he murmurs back, brushing his lips against your palm. âIâve just missed you so much.â
Your heart aches at his soft-spoken admission, and you kiss him again to tell him I missed you, too. This kiss is sweeter than the last, softer in its closed-mouth motions. His hand reaches up to palm your jawline, his other remaining on your hip. He sighs into you, breaking the kiss to leave fleeting pecks over your cheeks. âMy pretty girl,â he whispers into your skin.
His hand trails up and down your side, as he gently pushes you against his growing erection. You let out a whimper at just how hard he already is, the tent pushing against your clothed cunt teasingly. Grinding your hips down, you relish in the gasp Shoto lets out. Busying his hands with the hem of your loose tee, he pushes himself off of the bed to chase your lips.
Shoto kisses you with a fervour you damned yourself for running away from. He kisses you like he needs your taste on his tongue to live, like youâre a lifeline, and heâs teetering on the edge. Gentle teeth scrape against your bottom lip, just barely grazing your swollen skin. Pulling away to rid you of your top, Shoto bites his lips at the sight of your bare chest. He lays back, propping his head up on your pillows. Tracing a hand down his strong pecs, you tilt your head back at the sight of his complete enamour.
Red cheeks hollow as he takes in a shuddering breath, looking up at you with nothing but love and adoration. âYouâre perfect,â he breathes out, his hands tracing your sides so slowly. His thumbs, calloused from years of hero work, barely graze the underside of your breasts before his hands trail back down to your thighs.
âTake these off fâme,â Shoto urges, tugging gently on the fabric of your shorts. Those dark eyes never leave your face, as though heâs committing it to memory.Â
You donât hesitate to obey his request, shifting off of his lap just enough to tug off the last of your clothing, fingers dipping beneath the band of your panties to take them off as well. Shivering, you sit back down on his lap, biting down on your bottom lip as you lean back. Shoto makes it clear how much he appreciates the view youâve given him, his lustful gaze caressing your entire self. His eyes land on the apex of your thighs, and his bitten lips part in admiration.
A wide hand rests on your tummy, just below your belly button, as he gently pushes your hips back and forth. His other hand finds its way to your ass, gripping and rubbing the skin there in tandem with your movements.Â
You let out shallow breaths at the feeling of his rough jeans against your bare clit. Youâre sure youâre sopping wet already, soaking the front of his pants with your slick, but you canât find it in yourself to care when heâs looking at you like heâd cry if you stopped grinding down on him.
His eyes stay glued to where your hips meet, and he whispers your name lovingly. âCâmere,â he rasps out as he sits up with haste, wrapping those big arms around your midsection and pulling you even closer to him. Shoto kisses the tops of your breasts, moving up and up until his lips meet yours again in a searing kiss.Â
âMissed you sâmuch,â he gravels out against your lips, reaching up to cup your left tit. You whimper out when his thumb brushes against the hardened bud, his tongue following shortly after. His lips curl around your nipple as he kneads into you. Breaths leave your throat in shortened huffs as he bites down gently.Â
Pushing you gently, you find yourself on your back again with Shoto hovering over you. He lets go of your nipple with a pop, lips shiny with saliva as he kisses down your stomach. Arching into his affections, all you can do is lay there and bask in his gentle touches and sweet kisses.
âSho,â you whimper out when he mouths your skin lower and lower. Strong hands push your hips up until your dripping cunt is in front of his face, and your legs are dangling over his shoulders. Your back arches deeply, his fingers digging into your sides to keep your bottom half suspended in the air. Itâs almost embarrassing how wet youâve gottenâyou canât recall the last time youâve felt this aroused. âPleaseâŠâ
Shoto smiles at you softly, looking at you through his lashes as he brushes his lips against your clit, making you jolt. âPatience, baby,â he chuckled. âI havenât tasted your sweet pussy in too long. Let me take my time with you, yeah?â
When he asks so nicely, how can you refuse?
He leaves open-mouthed kisses where your inner thigh meets your pelvis, kissing and licking just around where you need him most. Pathetic moans slip through your wobbling lips as you press them together, trying not to be too loud. Your body is goo in his hands, and he knows this well. He easily keeps your back arched up off the bed, his beefy arms not straining at all.
When his lips finally close on your weeping cunny, you cry out louder than intended. âShh,â he whispers, sitting back just far enough to leave you whimpering for more. âDonât wanna wake the baby, do you?â Those teasing eyes meet yours again, and his teasing expression softens ever so slightly at your already fucked out look. âBe good and quiet fâme, love.â
âOkay,â you stammer out, screwing your eyes shut when he kitten licks at your slit.
Shoto kisses your inner thigh with a grin. âGood girl.â
Without missing a beat, he attaches his lips to your pussy once more, his skilled tongue licking and prodding exactly where he knows it makes your legs shake in pleasure. He eats you out with such expertise as if it hasnât been over two years. You wouldnât be surprised if he had a map of your body memorized.
Long, thick fingers push at your entrance, just barely pushing in before pulling out. âMore, please,â you beg under your breath, arching into his mouth. âPlease, Sho. I can take it.â
Shoto hums as he sucks on your clit gently, drawing circles over the bundle of nerves immediately after. âI know you can, baby. This pussy was made just for me,â he sighs into you, the loud slurping noises coming from the point of contact making you curl in on yourself. âYou were made just for me, baby.â
He finally pushes two fingers in, curling up just how you like it. He groans as his tongue moves with ardour, his eyes rolling back behind closed lids as he savours your taste. âFuck,â he mumbles. âMissed this sâmuch.âÂ
Shotoâs fingers push in and out, in and out, your slick gushing around them as the filthy sound of your clenching cunt fills the room. His lips are glued to your clit, drunk on your wetness as he fingers you deeply.Â
âIâm close,â you warn him, gripping the sheets tightly. Your body jerks, your thighs shaking and closing around his head as you feel the string in your tummy grow taught. âShoââ
âI know,â he growls, kissing your clit again as he looks back up at you. He watches your face twist and scrunch in pure pleasure, moaning at the sight. Pushing a third finger in, his eyes slip closed at the feeling of you clenching tightly around him. âCome for me, baby. Need to feel you come.â
His voice drips with honey, coating your body in its warmth as your back bends. âFuck,â you cry, slapping a hand over your mouth as your thighs tremble hard. âIââ
Before you can say anything else, youâre cumming around his fingers harder than you ever have in the time away from him. Fat tears line your lashline as he fingers you through your orgasm, lazily licking figure eights around your clit as he continues to push his fingers into you gently. He doesnât stop, making you come again and again until youâre weakly pushing his head away.
His tongue laps your pussy clean, the lower half of his face covered in your slick when he finally sits back. You watch with lidded eyes as he wraps his lips around his fingers, his tongue jutting out to lick them until theyâre no longer soaked with your essence. Moaning, you reach up for him, grasping weakly at his clothed chest. âNeed you,â you plea, pushing at his clothes in a sad attempt to take them off.
Shoto only chuckles, leaning over to kiss you. He tastes of mint and musk, the taste of your come on his tongue making your eyes cross. He holds you tight, pressing you against his chest, and his hands run up and down the length of your spine. His head tilts, his mouth ajar as he licks into your wet cavern.Â
Leaning back, you kiss and lick at his face, cleaning him of your juices. He only sighs blissfully at your ministrations, stroking your hair out of your face as he presses his lips against your temple. âI love you,â he murmurs. âGod, do I love you.â
You leave one more kiss along his jaw, settling back onto the mattress as you look up at him. His hair is messy, tousled from the many breathless kisses youâve exchanged in the last hour. His rouge-tinted cheeks make him look younger than he is, yet you can see fine lines at the corners of his eyes and between his brows.Â
âI love you, Sho,â you declare softly, tucking his long bangs behind his ears. He gazes at you with more affection than you think youâve ever seen him express, and it takes everything in you not to combust on the spot. You trail one hand down his chest, dropping down to his tented pants. Palming his clothed hardness, you glance at him pleadingly, smiling at the moan he emits the second your hand grazes his hard-on. âI need you now, please.â
Shoto nods, kissing the crown of your head before leaning back. You watch with careful eyes as he undresses, his hands moving with less grace than heâs known for. As he fumbles off his shirt, you unbuckle his belt, throwing it haphazardly across the room. You barely register the thud it makes as you tug down his pants. His hard cock slaps against his abdomen, coated with precum.Â
Fully nude, you sit back to admire Shoto in his entirety. There are many scars you donât remember littered over his muscled body, and your fingers trace them gently. âI almost forgot how pretty you are,â you say, sitting up to kiss his collarbone.
âPretty?â he repeats, laughing softly as he grips at your waist.
You hum. âVery pretty, Sho.âÂ
Unable to wait any longer, he manoeuvres you back onto the pillows, adjusting you as he places one beneath your hips. âGotta have you now, baby,â he groans into you, reaching down to fuck into his fist. You watch with wide eyes as he rubs himself for a moment more, pushing your thighs up against your chest.Â
Pushing his angry cockhead against your slit, he thrusts shallowly against your soaked pussy. A low moan rumbles out of his throat when his head catches on the hood of your clit. He uses a thumb to guide his length to your entrance, a whimper of your name tumbling from those bite-swollen lips once he finally pushes into you.
Your jaw drops as a wanton noise claws out of your throat. Shoto is sure to move slowly, only moving in an inch of his dick at a time before pulling out. You had forgotten how thick Shotoâs cock is, the stretch of your swollen pussy around his length burning through your body. âS-ShoâŠâ
He groans at your voice, dropping his head to your shoulder as he fucks into you slowly. âI know, baby,â he lets out breathlessly. âI know. Youâre doing so well fâme.âÂ
His hips finally press against you after some time, his dick pushing against your pulsing gummy walls. He stills, letting you get used to the intrusion as he kisses you again and again. Propping himself on his elbows, he shakily brushes your hair out of your face, kissing your forehead. âYou okay, baby?â
Nodding fervently, you wrap your arms around his neck, pushing his chest flush against yours. âYeah.â Your voice comes out weakly, barely above a whisper. âYou can moveââ correcting yourself, you look up at him with pleading eyes. ââplease move.â
Without another word, he pulls out slowly, only to thrust back into your hole nice and deep. A loud groan leaves his lips as he settles into a quick tempo, his hips slapping against the back of your thighs as he starts to really fuck into you.Â
Barely keeping your eyes open, you watch his expression twist with gratification, his brows tilting upwards as his lips part. With lidded eyes, he watches you, too. âYouâreâfuckâso pretty,â he whimpers, pressing his forehead against yours as his thrusts become faster. âMissed you. Missed you sâmuch.â
Sitting up, he grabs at your waist as he fucks you zealously. His thumb flicks at your clit, rubbing tight circles that leave your legs shaking. His cockhead rubs at that spongey spot in your cunt with every thrust, making your eyes roll back. âSho,â you cry out, the thought of keeping your voice down long gone in your pleasure. âSho, Shoâ!â
His mouth opens as he lets out a stunted shout riddled with lust and overstimulation. âYouâre so fucking tight,â he grins down at you, his stomach flexing with each movement of his hips. âFuck, baby. Can feel you clenching around me sâtight. Are you close?â His words come out harshly, exertion tugging them from his throat sluggishly.
His thumb never stops over your clit, moving in tandem with his hips as he slams into you. Unable to form coherent words, you can only cry out in vague confirmation, grabbing at his forearms. You can feel your slick dripping down the slope of your ass, soaking into your pillow and the sheets beneath you.Â
Shotoâs smile falters as he feels his own orgasm near, his rhythm becoming desperate as his eyes screwed shut. His head drops, his mouth opening slightly as he chases his high. When your cunt grips tightly around him, heâs sure heâs going to lose it. Harsh breaths heave out of him, his flushed skin causing his hair to stick to his forehead.Â
âCome for me again, baby,â he begs, barely able to pry his lids open to look down at you. âPlease, come, please, please⊠Gotta feel youâŠ!â
Whether itâs from his words, the whimpering tone that tugs at his voice, or the way his cock throbs inside you as he nears his own high, you feel your orgasm crash over you in waves. âShoto,â you sob, your body jerking violently as you come hard. He lets out a high-pitched groan as he releases inside you, his thick seed filling you up in seconds. His hips tremble and twitch as he keeps shallowly thrusting, pushing both you and himself into overstimulation.
âI love you,â he mewls, pressing his lips against yours in a hungry kiss as he wraps his arms tightly around your middle. Without pulling out, he slumps over you, knocking the air out of your lungs.
Laughing quietly, you weakly push at his shoulder. âYouâre heavy,â you complain, still breathless from the countless orgasms heâs pulled you through. âGet off, Sho.â
âNo,â he murmurs into the nape of your neck, cuddling into you tightly. âDonât wanna let go.â
You roll your eyes. âYou can hug me without crushing my ribs.â
Huffing, he rolls off of you, taking you with him as he lands on his back. You both groan lowly at the movement, his dick twitching inside you once you settle onto his lap again. âYouâre insatiable,â you comment, feeling him thrust weakly up into your wetness.
Shoto only grins up at you, showing off that rare smile you missed so dearly. âYou canât blame me,â he tells you, wrapping his arms around you. âI have so many years of love to show you.â He kisses your shoulder. âI meant it. Before, I mean. You are everything to me, and I know our baby will be too.â
Your eyes wet again, fresh tears bubbling at the corners before dribbling down your cheeks. âShotoâŠâ
Looking up at you, he stares with an indescribable look in his mismatched eyes. âI wanna be in your life. I want to be in his life, too, if youâll let me.â Leaning up, he kisses you sweetly. âSo, please, come back to me.â
You only manage to nod tearfully before the shrill cry of your baby echoes throughout the house. Shoto eases you off his messy cock, watching as his release dribbles out of you. He lets out a breath, kissing you sweetly before moving you off of him gently. No words are exchanged as Shoto throws his clothes back on, wrinkled and unkempt. He pauses to wipe you clean, using your shirt, after throwing you an apologetic glance.
A smile reaches your eyes as you watch Shoto bound out of the room to get your child.
©AVATARCHIC please do not plagiarize, repost, translate, or copy any of my works.
#avatarchic#shoto#todoroki#todoroki shoto#my hero#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha#bnha#shoto x reader#todoroki x reader#todoroki shoto x reader#my hero x reader#my hero academia x reader#boku no hero academia x reader#mha x reader#bnha x reader#shoto smut#todoroki smut#todoroki shoto smut#my hero smut#my hero academia smut#boku no hero academia smut#mha smut#bnha smut#x reader#x reader smut#smut#angst#shoto angst
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dual life | sjy
pairing: mafiaboss!jake x fem!reader genres: smut, angst, slight fluff wc: 10.8k+
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warnings ê± :Â swearing, mention of drugs and illicit things, mafia stuff, jake implicitly jealous, oral sex (f. receiving), nipple sucking, unprotected sex (do it safely, please). lmk if i missed anything else.
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synopsis ê± :Â being a serious and respected businessman was the only side of him that jaeyun wanted you to know, afraid that he would let you into his life and, over time, you would get to know not only sim jaeyun, but also sim jake, the mafia boss.
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notes ê± :Â idk how, but i thought about it for a day and just wrote it down. i let my mind run wild and wanted something completely different for jake, so here it is. i hope you like it!
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part 2 | masterlist ê±
The corporate environment could be challenging and misogynistic when a woman holds a position of great power. At first, the fear hit you hard when your name was molded onto a plaque and, below it, the title of the boss was stamped. But alongside all this, you found yourself supported by your colleague and partner Sim Jaeyun. The first man who saw you with respect, who treated you like a boss and a partner, who handed you demands with the same intensity as he handed demands to other men in the company.
He was incredible when he signed the contract to share that company with you. And it was a good deal because once your name was linked to Jaeyun's, everything inside that building seemed to be moving perfectly toward success. Numbers and shares grew faster and faster, and meetings were shared late into the night where you and Jaeyun reviewed what you had done so far, whether you needed to change any strategies in your approaches, and how you two could take the next step.
You were surprised every time because even though he was there for everything, his word was always final. Jaeyun seemed to want your approval even if his vision was the opposite of yours. It was as if your permission was worth more than his, even though you saw him think for a while before making any decisions. Carefully and cautiously when he asked you about shares and employees, about investments, and what he should do, he was careful and very intelligent, but in his view, you were so much more. So having your approval before his was more important.
This meant that the two of you shared more time than necessary, apart from being in the office. Jaeyun constantly calls you to have dinner and go over some papers when, in reality, the two of you did everything but go over papers. Or when he called you for coffee in the middle of the day to de-stress from an annoying client in question, you gladly accepted because the combination of his company and a hot coffee was all you needed after a moment like that.
What started as routine things became a little different when Jaeyun became warmer towards you at work. It was hard to tell at first since he was always very professional and the looks you got from him were either approving ones or small smiles after a good idea in the corporate environment. You never noticed anything more than that. Until that moment. Where he made a point of touching your hand when he sat next to you, reaching for your pen while he was resting on the other side. Or when Jaeyun would gently rest his hand on your lower back so that you would enter the rooms before him as if he would lose sight of you at any moment even though the room was quite large and there was no way he could lose sight of you.
Dinners no longer had the excuse of work stuff, Jaeyun just wanted to go out and talk to you about everything other than shares, money, and boring investors. He wanted to know more about you, he wanted to hear you tell stories and he wanted to share his too. However, in this respect, you could feel him wavering a little as if he was afraid to talk about something he shouldn't have.
In your mind, Jaeyun had something difficult he was dealing with, so he tended to be more reserved about it, but you learned enough about him as the dinners became weekly. Every detail about his life â which he managed to share with you â and every quirk you picked up on as the two of you spent more time together. Jaeyun was a little box of surprises that you were trying to unravel little by little.
But as things naturally grew closer between you and him, something about the boy's behavior caught your attention. From time to time Jaeyun seemed more scattered at meetings, as if his mind was anywhere but on the words of an old, gray-haired man talking about work. Or how dinners between the two of you became the company cafeteria, him refusing â politely â to go out with you with the excuse that he was too tired. But at the same time, he didn't want to break his silent promise that you and he would share a meal at least once a week.
That didn't bother you, after all, you still had his company even if the dishes varied from pasta with fancy sauce to ramen that he asked an employee to pick up at the corner convenience store. That wasn't so important, at least Jaeyun was sitting in front of you with a faint smile and talking about how hard his day had been and how he wanted to go home and be with his dog.
Everything changed that night. You did everything in your routine, working tirelessly in your office while receiving a few emails from Jaeyun to line up a thing here and there. Answering a few calls and dealing with the staff as best you could. After you finished work, you just wanted to be in the cafeteria and try another flavor of ramen that Jaeyun had bought, claiming that you would love it. Your mouth was already starting to salivate because you knew he could find the most unusual flavors, always impressing you with the smallest things.
But your heart sank when the door to your living room opened, revealing Jaeyun and a grocery bag. Everything happened slowly before your eyes, even though the scene itself was so fast.
âI can't stay todayâ Jaeyun's voice snapped you out of your reverie, the bag placed on your desk while his hands were now hidden inside the tailored pants he was wearing.
âWhy? Did something happen?â you asked, trying not to sound disappointed enough for him to see that he had messed with you.
But what you didn't know was that Jaeyun knew you as well as you knew yourself. Your every expression, tone of voice, everything. He knew exactly how you felt, perhaps because he was the same way, but also because he watched you too much.
âSome personal problemsâ he sighed softly, looking away from the bag to you âI brought you the ramen, so you can try it and tell me what you think.â
Jaeyun tried to smile to lighten the mood, taking his hands out of his pockets to fiddle with the bag and take out the bowl, showing you the new flavor he'd found. You bit your lower lip to keep from letting out a sigh or saying something you shouldn't have. Your heart was strangely bothered by it.
âIt's no fun without you, Jaeyunâ was the most you could say without sounding desperate or showing too much.
He felt the weight of everything fall on him as his eyes fell to the pot of ramen, seeing a spark of sadness shine in your eyes as your hands touched his and took the pot from his hand. Putting it back in the bag, you closed it and pushed it towards him.
âIââ Jaeyun turned away from your table, not wanting the ramen packets back âI'm sorry, Y/n. I really have to go.â
âJaeyunââ
He was afraid that if he heard you say anything, he'd stay for dinner with you. That's what he wanted most. But he couldn't. Jaeyun had to leave as soon as possible before everything went to shit. So, just as quickly as he entered your office, he left and closed the door before he heard anything else come out of your mouth.
You stood there at your desk, staring at the bag that had been left there. It was the first night since you two started eating together that he didn't stay. The first night that Jaeyun barely looked at you before saying goodbye. He didn't even touch your hand as he did when he picked you up for dinner or coffee. He was so distant that it seemed like you didn't recognize him.
Meanwhile, Jaeyun was racing against time to try to balance the double life he was leading. Getting involved with you wasn't in his plans, not least because corporate life was just a façade for him, so the moment he found himself nurturing any feelings for you, he knew he was screwed. Jaeyun couldn't fall in love, but he also couldn't help feeling it when everything seemed natural when he was with you. Your presence made him forget all the bad things he experienced outside that office. That is there he was Sim Jaeyun, your partner and someone who was slowly taking over your heart.
But unfortunately, that couldn't be forever and he knew it. Leaving the elevator and walking hurriedly to his car, he took off his jacket and threw it on the passenger seat, the place where you had sat countless times in your work clothes as beautiful as any woman he had ever seen in his life. That symbolic place belonged to you, even if he didn't want to admit it. Jaeyun let his head fall back against the steering wheel of the car, uttering swear words that he remembered and that made his body explode with rage.
He wanted to be Sim Jaeyun forever. Your partner, the man who was slowly making you fall in love.
But leaving there he was Jake, one of the mob bosses who was now rushing to help his friends with new charges and problems coming up.
The sound of his fingers drumming on the marble of the table was a little louder than usual. Jaeyun tried hard not to show how annoyed â and angry â he was to be there that night. He knew it would be impossible to hide from his friends how much he disliked being there, but at the same time, he couldn't forget what an authority figure he was there too.
âAre you in a bad mood?â he heard Sunghoon's voice cut through the air, entering the room with all the grace he had compared to the other boys. Jaeyun sighed, stopping his drumming to slide his hand to the glass in front of him and drink all the liquid it contained. He wasn't sure what it was, but he would thank Heeseung later for putting in the highest alcohol content he could find.
âDon't tease me, Parkâ he replied after feeling the burning go down his throat.
Sunghoon laughed a little and sat down next to Heeseung, facing Jaeyun.
âI asked you a question, broâ he said, âWhy are you in such a bad mood? Jay and San have already managed to corner those idiots and take what they tried to steal from us.â
Looking at it that way, Jaeyun could be relieved. Smuggling drugs wasn't something he was proud of doing, but he knew how respected he was for carrying on his father's work as well as he would have liked. At the time, Sim wished he hadn't been so good and just stuck to executive work, without getting involved with the family mafia. But he knew how much confidence his late father had and how much he wanted Jaeyun to take over.
âI know, it's justââ
âHe's mad because we ruined his date with his girlfriendâ Heeseung winked at Sunghoon, who quickly understood everything.
âShit, tonight was the night of your romantic dinner.â
âIt's not a romantic dinnerâ Jaeyun tried to make amends.
âI told us not to call him, damn it, Heeseungâ Sunghoon pretended to be angry, knowing that there was no way not to call Jaeyun. This was of a gigantic magnitude and even though the two of them were his right-hand man, they couldn't make decisions without consulting him first. A form of respect for their best friend, who had taken them in even after taking on a dangerous and important position.
âWhat did you want me to do?â Heeseung tried to defend himself, sliding down the back of the chair and running one hand through his hair âThey tried to rob usâ he continued âMy only thought was to run to the shed and stop it, but I couldn't do that without Jake's approval.â
Jaeyun listened intently as the conversation unfolded in front of him. Heeseung and Sunghoon knew that they had complete freedom when it came to any decision, especially if Jaeyun was playing the role of partner in a big company. Wearing a suit and tie, expensive tailoring, and with you by his side. It was a persona he wanted to maintain, even though reality hit him every time he received a call from his best friends informing him of something concerning his second job.
He ran a hand through his hair, the sting of the drink gradually fading from his throat as he looked at the two boys still talking.
An absurd urge to disappear and leave the business to the two of them, to run to the office because Jaeyun knew you'd still be there working, eating the ramen he'd left for you. A strange tightness in his chest made him sigh. He had left you alone for the first time after everything had happened. It wasn't because he wanted to, but Jaeyun was afraid of involving you in the second life he was leading. He didn't want to put you in danger, make you go out to dinner with glances lingering between the two of you.
That life brought Jaeyun and his friends a lot of good things, but just as many bad things. He walked around with plainclothes security guards all the time, but it wasn't as if he could do that for you without your permission. It would be handed to him on a plate to tell you about his life in the mafia because on what pretext would Jaeyun say he wanted to offer you private security? It wasn't as if it was necessary for the life of a company boss. No one would want to hurt you for that. So with his lack of creativity in coming up with an excuse, he found himself doing the one thing he didn't want to do: hide you.
Dinner in the company cafeteria was safer than parading around with you by his side, even though it was the only thing he wanted at that moment more than anything. Holding your hand again with the excuse that the restaurant was full and he didn't want to let you out of his sight. That may have been true, but a large part of it was because he was worried that someone in disguise might harm you.
Jaeyun had declared enemies and he knew what some were capable of. Anything could be done against him, but no one should lay a finger on you.
âJake!â Heeseung's shout brought him out of his thoughts quickly, blinking hard to regain awareness that he'd been immersed in his thoughts for too long âDude, do you have her on your mind again?â
âAt least disguise itâ Sunghoon muttered.
âI think I'm going to shoot your ass, you idiotâ Jaeyun pointed at his friend, getting up from his chair.
âCalm down man, I'm kiddingâ he said âMessing with her really puts you in a bad mood.â
Jaeyun ignored it because he had no way of refuting it. He realized that everything that involved him made his nerves frayed and his feelings more acute. It wasn't as if he could control what he felt. If he could, Jaeyun would have chosen not to involve any feelings because he wanted to protect you. But the next thing he knew, any little detail about you made him lose his mind. He wanted to keep you close, he wanted to feel you, he wanted to have you even if it meant risking everything.
A remnant of conscience made him keep his touches a little simpler, although he felt the absurd urge to grab your waist and feel your lips pressed to his.
âI'm going to check what Jay's got so farâ Heeseung got up too, passing the seats and going around the table to leave the room âAny news I'll let you two know, so keep an eye on the phonesâ and left.
Now with Sunghoon being the only presence in the room besides him, Jaeyun felt the weight of everything almost crush him. His friend's gaze almost pierced his insides because he knew how Sim felt. Sunghoon had a better view of Jaeyun's feelings than the other two.
âSit downâ he said when he saw his best friend lost in thought, barely able to utter a word apart from opening and closing his mouth a few times. Obeying, Jaeyun sat back in his chair âWhat's going on?â
What about? He wanted to ask but knew it was a waste of time. There was nothing Park Sunghoon couldn't figure out. So the other just sighed, leaning back even further in his chair and closing his eyes.
âI shouldn't have liked her in the first placeâ it was almost natural to let it out, as if he wanted Sunghoon to hear those words âThings should be professional, I should just focus on the actions and nothing else. Then go back home, deal with the mafia problems my father left behind, and later think about marrying the daughter of some other mafia boss.â
âBetter than marrying Y/n?â Sunghoon asked.
It was strange that his best friends spoke your name. This was proof that the two worlds Jaeyun lived in were colliding. Then he opened his eyes, wanting to scream out everything that had been squeezing his chest for the last few hours.
âThat's what happened to my father, I justââ
âIt doesn't have to happen to youâ Sunghoon interrupted him with a certain kindness, although there was none in his tone. He still looked at his best friend as he said each word with deep sincerity âYou fell in love with her and you have to go with that. Make Y/n part of your life like Sim Jaeyun andââ
âDon't even finish itâ it was his turn to interrupt him âI would never bring her to meet Jake Sim.â
âBut if you two got engaged, sooner or later she'd find out about the double life you lead, manâ Jaeyun hated how certain Sunghoon seemed about anything. He was the most rational when it came to work and personal life and always had the best advice. He was responsible for not letting any of his three best friends commit any kind of madness.
âThis can't happenâ his hands ran frantically through his hair, messing up every strand that Jaeyun managed to get his fingers through. He wanted to pull them out of his head in a moment of small sanity but came back to reality when he heard Sunghoon's voice next.
âMaybe you don't need to tell her at first, but it might make Jaeyun's life a little more enjoyableâ he said calmly, âYou really are falling for her, we can see that.â
We. Jaeyun had always been good at hiding his feelings, from the prettiest to the worst, from his friends. Or so he thought since he had to swallow so much just to make his father proud and be where he was at that moment. Bringing Sunghoon, Jongseong, and Heeseung with him was a baggage of confidence and a remnant of the normal life he had before getting involved in the family business. The only three people in his circle who knew everything, who never judged him, and were always there for Jaeyun. The best childhood friends who stuck together, and that in itself made them get to know more about each other every day.
That's why the three of you could see Jaeyun slowly falling in love with you. Although the words never left his mouth, the way he talked about you could already be deduced from afar. The sparkle in his eyes when he opened a message from you on the meeting table in the room as Jake Sim. The spark of a feeling emerged as he replied sweetly. When the boys attended a company dinner as fake investors, talking to you about the profit they could generate for your and Jaeyun's company. The reality was that they were there at Sim's request to check if anyone was a possible suspected smuggler or rival since his name had been talked about so much in the city at the famous dinner. He was afraid of someone showing up and ruining the double life he had fought so hard to hide.
It was the first and only time the three of them had met and talked to you, but it was enough to see the way Jaeyun looked at you. How he behaved next to you and the tired sighs he released throughout the night as each man approached you. Before, your name was a legend to them, Sim Jaeyun's lousy partner in the company, but when they saw you in person, it all seemed to make sense.
Now we know why Jake fell in love so easily, Heeseung almost lost his teeth when he made that comment inside the shed, after counting out three hundred and eight suitcases of cash. Payment for the container of drugs they had distributed. Jongseong was in charge of separating his best friend so that he wouldn't beat Heeseung to a pulp, while Sunghoon calmly intervened.
Everything went so slowly until he realized that he had fallen too hard for you. In the feelings he was having for you.
âWhat can I do about it now?â Jaeyun finally looked at Sunghoon, really looked at him. Looking for an answer and no longer wanting to run away from what mattered at that moment.
âHow about making amends and asking her to dinner?â he asked.
âI don't want to go out with her and be seenâ You know, I don't know who might be following meâŠâ
âCome on Jake, how many men do you have doing security for your dead father's mafia?â he glared at his friend, always teased by the way Jaeyun didn't like to say that it was all his now. It would be easier to say that it still belonged to his late father, that all those men followed the command of Mr. Sim, to whom Jaeyun gave his voice. He didn't like to be called boss, although it happened at the teasing of his friends.
âManyâ Jaeyun answered him.
âThen put them in charge of her security once a weekâ Sunghoon swiveled in his chair, his eyes never leaving Jaeyun's for a second âWe have enough men to put in one a week without her noticing, and you'll still be able to go out with her in peace.â
He seemed to ponder this for a moment. He didn't want to be awkward about mentioning to you that men were escorting you for your safety, after all, he was afraid that something would happen to you even if the two of you had no involvement whatsoever.
âThat's a very good idea, Hoon, butââ
âThere's no such thing, you know it's the only way if you want to have something with her.â
For a while longer he seemed to think about the possibility. It wasn't as if Jaeyun was hiding something terrible from you, not least because he would be looking out for your safety. He'd also be freer to go out with you again for the dinners you two shared during the weeks.
âNot to mention that if you and she start dating, the security will be doubled, don't you think?â Sunghoon stood up from his chair âEveryone will know about her if something gets serious.â
That was Jaeyun's fear, that everyone would know about you besides him and his best friends. In that world where he was Jake Sim, there was no way anything could be hidden. It wasn't like the world where Jaeyun could get away with it under an expensive suit and a lot of stock. He sighed heavily, throwing his head back without the strength to continue the conversation. Knowing how right his best friend was.
âRight, thanks for the advice, anywayâ Jaeyun asked.
âAt your serviceâ Sunghoon smiled âAre you going to stay there now? I'll check on Heeseung if Jay needs any help tooâŠâ
âI'll stay a while longer, I'll be going soonâ he said, still sitting down because his body seemed to be weighed down by the barrage of information and advice thrown at him in such a short space of time.
Sunghoon walked to the door of the room, opened it, and turned to Jaeyun with a playful, silly smile on his face.
âYes sir, bossâ giving a mock salute, he ran off before Jaeyun could gather up a load of papers to throw in his direction, but Sunghoon was quick to close the door. Not before hearing the other swear at him for his provocations.
Jaeyun got to know you little by little, his first impression being of you as a strong and fearless woman. Someone he could easily work with among the men who underestimated you and who made him feel angry. Little by little, he noticed how easy it was to live with you and how you could read between the lines when things were happening. He was surprised when he started to notice the moment you felt uncomfortable in a meeting or in the presence of a man who tried to put you down, or how he could understand how bothered and angry you were with some stupid comment or action that had gone wrong.
Over time, he realized that he knew a lot about you just by interacting with you professionally. But when he decided to take a step and invite you to dinner, under the pretext of reviewing something from work, Jaeyun knew he was ruined. He knew that the first sincere smile you gave him had ruined and torn down any barrier he had built over the years in an attempt to not bring anyone into the dark and double world of his life. Jaeyun didn't want you to be a part of that.
So trying to push you away and keep you safe was the first and only thought he had, swallowing the physical and carnal desire that consumed him for wanting to have you in his arms. He couldn't afford to make the mistake of going around glimpsing you and your beauty, enjoying life as a couple that he knew was dangerous.
Sim Jaeyun was a good man, but Sim Jake was the opposite of that. And between the two personas he found himself divided on what to do because he knew that in both his lives, he was in love with you. It was the only thing he couldn't separate.
He knew it was too late to try to make Sunghoon's advice count for anything. Arriving at the office the next day, Jaeyun knew he had screwed up when he saw the bag of ramen on his desk, the two untouched pots very well placed next to the papers he needed to fill out during the day. What surprised him was the way you treated him throughout the week.
Professionalism took over again and you were the Y/n he had met when he joined that company and took on the role of being his partner. He saw the old woman with whom he had shared the management of that building and whom he had always admired â later he had fallen in love â and now he was back to the beginning. At least you, because he felt that he was falling more and more into your charms and letting his feelings take over.
It wasn't easy that you were monosyllabic in meetings, your gaze never meeting his, and every time you both needed to talk about any decision, you said you were busy and asked Jaeyun to talk to your secretary. You were running away, he knew that. So it could only mean that, besides being upset about him leaving you that night, something told you that you also had feelings for him.
Because no one would be upset about canceling a dinner. Even with the shitty excuse he gave you, if neither of you had feelings for each other, Jaeyun wouldn't have been frustrated to get Heeseung's call that night and you wouldn't have been upset to see him leave without even eating with you and then leaving.
It was a silent competition of who was handling it the worst way possible.
But he didn't know that jealousy was being added to the mix when he saw a new investor smile at you. How bold he was to approach you after the meeting, in the coffee room, and ask if you wanted to go out for something to eat.
I've seen this happen before, idiot. Don't even try. That's what he hoped the look would convey, but Jaeyun forgot that you hadn't looked in his direction for a few days, trying to ignore him as best you could. That's why you accepted the invitation. A little hesitantly because it had never happened before, other than Jaeyun, it was the first time that any man inside that building had invited you for something other than your partner. At that moment, after so many days, you looked in his direction, afraid of what you might feel when your eyes met. But seeing the discomfort on Sim's face seemed to give you some satisfaction.
âI still have a few more things to take care of, soââ the man extended a hand to you, gently holding yours. His touch was gentle and you tried to smile a little wider, looking away from Jaeyun to the boy in front of you âDo you mind meeting at the restaurant on the corner in half an hour?â
âNo. Itâs okayâ you replied, feeling him squeeze your hand and lean in to kiss your torso, pulling away and letting go of your hand. He smiled at you once more, returning to the circle of men that was in the other corner of the room to say goodbye and do what he had to do.
You thought you should chat with your employees after a meeting, have some coffee like you always did, and then go to your office. But Jaeyunâs gaze was starting to make you feel strange. He didnât miss a single movement of yours, from the moment you moved to get a cup of coffee to when you approached your secretary to whisper to him.
âIâm going to my officeâ you said quietly, not wanting to make a fuss with anyone. âIâll be leaving for dinner soon, okay?â
âYes, maâamâ he smiled at you, looking away to Jaeyun and swallowing hard. Your secretary had always been a bit wary of the man who was staring at you, but since there had never been any disagreements, that was passed on as he showed himself to be completely professional.
Jaeyun had never felt jealous until this moment, watching you gracefully leave the room and close the door.
It was all his fault and the idiotic way he tried to push you away even though he wanted to keep you close. Now, not knowing how to act, Jaeyun had to witness that scoundrel of someone asking you out and, worst of all, you accept it.
Something settled inside him and, without measuring any effort, he walked out the door quickly to your office. His mind had never worked well under pressure, whether from anger or jealousy like it was now. Jaeyun had never been jealous, after all, he had never met anyone who aroused that kind of feeling in him. It was like an urban legend or only hearing about the romantic stories that Jongseong and Sunghoon had here and there. But he had never felt that in his life.
When he stopped in front of your office door, his heartbeat almost rose to his ears as adrenaline and anxiety ran through him. Jaeyun didn't know how he would act after finding you in your office and confronting you. He knew something would happen, you could feel the tension in the air every time the two of you were in the same room, he just didn't know how intense it was. He had a slight impression, but he couldn't decipher you from that yet.
He decided not to knock, gripping the door handle and turning around without beating around the bush, entering right away before you could say anything else.
âWhatââ you quickly turned around from the table, where you had been facing away until then, packing your things and ready to leave. Your heart almost jumped out of your mouth at the sight of Jaeyun standing in the middle of your living room. The thud of the door as it closed went unnoticed by your ears and the only sound was your own racing heart. âJaeyun?â
He approached slowly, one step at a time as he thought about what to say or how to act. You could tell how fast his chest was rising and falling due to the rapid breathing from the fright he had gotten seconds ago.
âWhat are you doing here?â you asked, trying to stay calm as he continued to approach. The steps stopped just a few inches away when he cornered you between his body and your table, making your body almost bend over if it werenât for your hands being quick enough to hold on to the edge of the table.
âYouâre not going to this dinnerâ the authority in his tone of voice made your legs tremble, but you were grateful to hold yourself firmly against the table and your hands tightened their grip on the edge. Jaeyun still had the ability and knowledge to read you so perfectly that when he saw your mouth open â probably with the intention of asking why â he was faster and leaned in to press his lips to yours.
He expected anything: a slap, a sudden pull away, a loud curse that could echo throughout the building. But the surprise came when you let go of the edge of the table to spread your hands against his chest, slowly moving up until you grabbed the collar of the shirt he was wearing, pulling him closer to you.
You were an amazing woman and he knew it, every single thing you did drove him crazy. And feeling you pulling him between your legs, giving way by opening your lips and welcoming his tongue and tangling it with yours.
Everything seemed magical to Jaeyun and you. Each touch took its time, something that had been repressed until now. He brought his hands to your hips, keeping you in place as he made a small effort to lift you up and sit you on the table.
Your pride in trying to ignore him was going down the drain more and more, as Jaeyun intensified that kiss and moaned against your lips. You should have pushed him away and gotten out of there when it was time, but now it was too late. He was tangled between your legs and his hands were doing a great job squeezing you and sliding down to your lower back to slide down to your ass. It was your turn to moan against his lips, your nails going inside the collar of his shirt and scratching his shoulder to mark something against the skin you wanted so much to know.
âJaeyunâ you whispered breathlessly and he swore that was the best sound he had ever heard in his life. Pulling his lips away from yours to get some air for his lungs, he let you ramble on as he lowered his mouth down your jaw. Feeling the taste of your skin and the texture of it between his lips, marking a path of saliva until it reached your neck.
âYes, babe?â Jaeyun had no idea how much he moved you, because if he did, he would never call you by that nickname in the form of a whisper, while still kissing your skin and sucking a good amount of it between his lips. The pop noise he left after a long suck, certainly leaving the spot marked a few minutes later.
âI needââ you wanted to say that you needed to go, that this would be a provocation on his part. But your mind wasnât working right and it didnât help that he started pressing his hips against yours. âHoly shitâ you moaned softly, the hardness of Jaeyunâs cock slowly making the right pressure against your still-clothed clit. You couldnât say how he had the exact notion of where to press and how to press.
âI already told you that you wonât, Y/nâ Jaeyun gasped against your neck, moving his kisses up and trailing the tip of his tongue across your skin until his face was level with yours again.
That sight was hell on earth for you. Jaeyun with his lips red and shiny from the kiss they had just shared, adding to the kisses and hickeys on your skin. His eyes drooping and dark with desire staring at you with a possessiveness you never thought you would know. You wanted to be able to say something, but it was impossible while you had his hands on your shoulders now.
âTell me if this is too much, okay?â What did he mean by that? What was Jaeyun thinking when he asked you that kind of thing? It was already too much to have felt his kiss in a situation like that, but you were sure that it was too much to have his fingers unbuttoning the buttons of your shirt.
Every particle of your skin is exposed for his eyes to admire even more. You were never one to wear low-cut tops at work and his sanity was grateful for that, so he didn't know what to do as each button was undone until he reached below your breasts.
âShitâ he cursed softly, praying that you wouldn't hear the hint of vulnerability in his voice as he noticed the light lace adorning your breasts. They were beautiful and he didn't want to think about anything else but touching them. But Jaeyun didn't want to rush, he needed to feel you because he had been depriving himself of it for so long and almost lost.
When the last button was undone, he bit his lower lip to keep from moaning at the sight of you naked in front of him, sitting on the table with his body between your legs. Jaeyun would be lying if he said he had never thought about being in that position with you, or any other, where only his cock inside you and your voice moaning his name would be enough for any scenario to be propitious. He felt like a pervert for it, but there was no denying the desire that radiated inside him every time you showed up.
Leaning down, Jaeyun left a kiss in the space between your neck and your collarbone, enjoying the sounds you made and smiling against your skin when he didn't hear any objections from you. This meant he could continue with the kisses until he reached the curve of your breast, tracing the outline with the tip of his tongue. He looked up, seeking eye contact with you and when he did, he knew he was where he belonged. The way you looked at him, the tense and longing expression you maintained as you held his gaze was all he needed.
âCan I continue?â he asked.
âPlease, yesâ you answered, nibbling on your lower lip at the same moment that Jaeyun's teeth slid over the lace of your bra, lowering the fabric enough to expose your chest. He was on the verge of madness to taste every part of you, but desire consumed him with every reaction you had to his touch.
The tip of Jaeyun's tongue circled your exposed nipple, making a moan run through the room as it slipped out of your throat. He felt his cock tighten even more in his pants with each sound you made. His hands â which had previously remained calm when touching you â now impatiently ran over your shoulders to remove your shirt with a quick tug, going to the middle of your back to unbutton your bra and rip it off your body as well. Turning his attention back to your breasts, he sucked your nipple with such desire while his large hand covered the other and squeezed to feel its softness.
You were on cloud nine, his every touch coated with possessiveness and desire, making your head spin as you felt Jaeyun's warm tongue against your nipple. The silent sucking compared to the sound of your moans, while your hands quickly went to his hair to pull the strands as a sign that he would never stop what he was doing.
But he also didn't intend to take his mouth off your body. If Jaeyun could talk at that moment, he would tell you how good it was feeling every part of your skin, hearing every one of your moans, and he still hadn't done half of the things he wanted to do with you.
Missing your mouth, he went up to your lips again to share another kiss, this time a little more sloppy and slobbery. Your tongues ran against each other for dominance while your mouths fit perfectly, the synchrony of the movements making you both gasp into each other's mouths.
Jaeyun's hands went to your hips again, but this time his speed and strength came to the advantage as he took off your skirt along with your panties. At another time you could notice how skilled he was and wonder â or not â why he was in such a hurry or knew how to do it so quickly. But now you just wanted to focus on the cold air of the room hitting your pussy and how Jaeyun released your lips with a lewd and wet noise.
It never crossed your mind that Sim Jaeyun, your partner, the man you had seen many times seriously across the room â regardless of the number of times you had dinner together â and for whom you were harboring feelings, would now be kneeling in front of you. He was perdition personified in that submissive and vulnerable position. His eyes were bright, like a puppy begging for a reward. And you knew that what he wanted, besides making up for lost time, was to be between your legs like that.
A mutual and wordless agreement between you and Jaeyun was drawn at that moment, with him slowly approaching your pussy and you opening your legs enough to accommodate him even more. As a test, he stretched out his tongue and licked a long strip from your entrance to your clitoris, collecting your essence and feeling your taste linger on the tip of the wet muscle that he passed through your entire intimacy.
âFuck, Jaeyunâ you tilted your head back, the deliciously warm sensation of his tongue licking your pussy was too much to handle. His hands wrapped around your thighs and held them wide open as he licked a little more, seeming to be hungry as he collected a little more of your essence.
You rested your hands in his hair, your legs feeling like jelly as Jaeyun moved a little further. He focused on sucking on your clit, circling his tongue over the sensitive bud as he looked up to try to catch some reaction from you. Your head was thrown back, but he wanted you to look at him, just once. Just once to see him eat you like a good meal.
âLook at me, Y/nâ Jaeyun asked hoarsely, pulling his lips away from your pussy to get your attention. You wanted to pull his hair and bury his face in your pussy again, the lack of contact with your clit made you whimper softly, it was a great torture. But you had to obey if you wanted to feel him again, so your head lifted, your eyes searching his to find the sinful sight.
There was no way Jaeyun could be that desirous more than anything else, it was impossible that that man could look so good in any position or situation. You almost cursed him if it weren't for how quickly he maintained eye contact as he approached your pussy again. This time he sucked you more slowly, drawing circles on your clit and maintaining eye contact, not losing a single second of his eyes on yours. He moved one of his hands away from your leg to slide between your folds, introducing his index finger into your hole.
âIâ Fuck, don't do thisâ you pressed yourself against his finger, the introduction being too much for you. He wanted to fuck you so badly now, with your moaning and your eyes nearly closing, it was torturous to keep them open as he inserted the second finger and continued to suck on your clit.
The movements were now combined quickly, making him alternate between scissoring movements and rotating his fingers inside you, at the same second he sucked your clitoris and ran the tip of his tongue over your pussy, opening your lips so he could spread his saliva along with your essence. The wet sound of his fingers going back and forth inside you, Jaeyun's prominent knuckles almost making you come undone right there. Your walls sucked him so deliciously that he wanted to feel his cock being buried inside you and how hot it would be to be inside there.
The thought alone made Jaeyun feel his underwear get wet, he knew that his pre-cum was almost overcoming the tailoring of the pants he was wearing. It was already too much to have to endure all of that without being able to feel the slightest relief in his cock. But when he decided to introduce the third finger inside your pussy, it was as if he had seen the vision of heaven. Your head fell back again, you couldn't keep your eyes on him.
âY/n, lookââ
âCome up here, please,â you begged. He gave your clit one last kiss as if to taste you one last time before moving up his body to be close to you again. His fingers continued to work your pussy harder and harder as it clenched around his sliding, wet digits.
When Jaeyun brought his face closer to yours, you didnât wait for any response other than to place your lips on his, sharing the taste of you that lingered on his lips. It was all so intense as your body shuddered and the knot in your stomach broke. You hugged Jaeyunâs body between your arms and held him by the hips between your legs, your pussy convulsing on his fingers as his mouth muffled the most obscene and loud moans you could make calling his name. Cumming on his fingers so hard that all of your liquid easily ran down the palm of his hand.
He wanted you to take the time you needed to catch your breath, the intensity of your orgasm taking over every cell in your body as he was careful enough to pull his fingers out of your pussy. You moaned and whimpered, the lack of contact making you feel empty and weak, but something sparked in you when Jaeyun pulled away enough to bring his fingers to his lips, licking the length of his cock until he reached the palm of his hand.
âI knew you tasted amazingâ he whispered, completely cleaning up what had been your orgasm liquid until there was nothing left.
You pulled him back to you, running your thumb over his chin that held more of your liquid. Jaeyun smiled slowly as he felt your soft touch, your fingers sliding down it until they reached the waistband of his pants.
âY/n, donâtââ
âShhh, itâs okayâ you kissed his jaw, your lips slowly sliding down Jaeyunâs neck to part of his exposed collarbone âIt must hurt, huh?â
âNoâ he lied, moaning the second your hands undid his belt and opened his zipper so his cock would be less tight. He wasnât good at that kind of lie per se, but he wasnât stupid enough to want to demand too much from you either, considering the intensity of your orgasm, Jaeyun was already happy to see you satisfied like that.
âWe can make this less painful for youâ your voice whispered so sensually that he almost came undone right there, his Adamâs apple bobbing up and down before he felt your mouth kiss him, right in the middle of his throat. âPut that down for meâ your request was an order that had no objection, so Jaeyun quickly pushed his pants along with his underwear, his cock jumping out and hitting against his pelvis and stomach. Your eyes quickly scanned down, seeing the size of it and sighing at the thought of it being inside you in a few seconds.
âY/nâ Jaeyun moaned, an absurd need to have any kind of touch from you against him. Then your fingers quickly went to the head of his cock, red and shiny with pre-cum, spreading all the liquid with the sole purpose of stimulating him and teasing him a little. âWhat the fuck, shitâ he cursed.
It was too much to suffer, considering that Jaeyun had been untouched for a long time, even more so after hearing your moans and seeing what your body was capable of with just a few touches from him. Impatience took over and he pulled his shirt by the collar, not bothering to undo any buttons, he just wanted to get rid of any piece that held him and feel the heat of your body against his.
âI wantââ he moaned again, pushing his hips against the palm of your hand when you held the base and went down the entire length, masturbating his veiny and thick cock between your fingers. Jaeyun wanted nothing more than to feel your touch and what you were making him feel.
âWhat do you want?â you asked, your lips still against the skin of his throat, slowly sliding down to one of his ears to whisper the words. He spread his hands on your thighs, squeezing the soft flesh and pulling your body over the table so that he was at the edge of it. Your hips and your pussy are a little more exposed to him.
âI want to be inside you, Y/n. Iâ fuckâ Jaeyun knew he was being a mess just moaning and fucking your fist as your hand tightened more and more on his cock. Spreading the pre-cum all over the length until it reached the base.
He went crazy when you leaned in enough for a ball of saliva to escape between your lips and slide down to the head of his cock, spreading some of it along the length with your â almostâperfect aim. That helped spread it even more across Jaeyunâs cock and he couldnât take it anymore, it was too much for him and the boy was afraid he would explode in his hand and cum right there. It would be shameful to do this without him being inside you, even for a few seconds.
âY/n, pleaseâŠâ it was his turn to beg now. The feared Sim Jake would never do this, would never be in this role, much less Sim Jaeyun. Both respected and feared, but now he just wanted to be yours and beg for whatever you had to offer.
Without further provocation, you knew how painful it was for him. And your pussy got wet again just from the sounds he made and the unfolding of the scene in front of you. Positioning his cock at your entrance, it was a silent invitation for him to insert himself into your hole. Your hands left there to hold him, one on each side of his neck, letting Jaeyun lead the movements.
Slowly he thrust his cock into you, the warmth of your pussy and the wetness of your juices being enough to shelter him so well and facilitate the entrance of his cock that you swore it would not be possible to fit. Soon he was all the way inside you, his breathing uneven as he finally had his cock shoved into your pussy.
âHow do you feel?â Jaeyun uttered with some difficulty, his chest rising and falling quickly as he leaned his body towards you.
âAmazingâ you tried not to moan, pulling his face close to yours so that his forehead rested on yours. âYou can move nowâ your request, again, became an order when Jaeyun finally moved his hips to remove his cock and leave only the head inside you, returning with a slow but strong movement. His pelvis touching your clit with the movement.
He could no longer hold back his good manners and the desire to go slowly, wanting to make you feel every time his cock entered and left your pussy. Jaeyun pressed his fingers into your thighs, leaving marks that could be seen later as his nails dug into your skin, gaining momentum to start the movements. The sounds of skin slapping and the wetness of both your arousals are the perfect symphony accompanied by the moans that you and he left in your living room. It was visible the way you tried to keep your body each time Jaeyun thrust his cock even deeper into you, the burning slightly appearing in your groin with each more force that he thrust inside you. Your walls fluttered around his cock and sheltered him each time he entered with even more force.
âShit, you feel so good.â Jaeyun gave a small smile when you tried to say something, only managing to moan and nod in agreement. Knowing how hard it would be for you to say anything at that moment he went faster and faster, pressing his fingers harder and harder against your body, now moving up to your hips. He felt you move your body against his, rubbing your clit against the length of his cock each time he pulled out completely before burying him deep inside you again. Jaeyunâs pelvis stimulated your sensitive bud each time he went so deep that there was no space left between your bodies, his balls slapping against your thighs and adding even more to the obscene noises in the sex between the two of you.
Jaeyunâs cock twitched as your pussy tightened, indicating that your orgasm was just around the corner. He was also about to cum, practically holding it in for so long that he feared how much would come next.
âI needââ Jaeyun whispered.
âInsideâ you cut him off, knowing he could cum just by the way his hips bucked between thrusts. Your hands slid down his neck and up to his cheeks, cupping his face and pulling him in for a kiss. Your tongues tangled, your lips quick and desperate for some pressure as he picked up the pace to drive his cock even deeper into you.
A combination of his hip thrusts and the pulls he gave your hips to meet him, he felt your pussy clench around him so hard that it was enough for Jaeyun to spill. He came, painting your walls milky white as he moaned your name relentlessly. You werenât far away and it only took a few more thrusts for you to cum on his cock. The white ring formed around his length as he continued to thrust in and out of you, not indicate that he was stopping just because cum was still gushing from the head of his sensitive cock.
With one last movement, your pussy milking every last drop, Jaeyun stopped moving. The strength draining from his body and giving way to calm, the high serotonin running through you and him after you both came together.
Jaeyun left a slow kiss on your lips, waiting a long minute until he finally pulled out of you. The sensitivity hits you both and makes you moan into each other's mouths.
âSorryâ he said as he knew you might be hypersensitive, even though he wanted to stay inside your pussy all night if he could.
âOkayâ you replied, smiling tiredly before looking to the side and searching for your clothes. He went faster before lifting his underwear and pants, leaving a hint of sadness in your body for depriving you of the sight of him practically naked in front of you. But what caught your attention was that Jaeyun picked up his shirt from the floor, stretching it towards you.
âI donât know where there are tissues, butââ he smiled a little, using the sleeve of his shirt to clean you between your legs.
âJaeyunâ you tried to stop him, but it was too late. Jaeyun cleaned you so carefully that it was practically impossible to believe, especially after what the two of you had done and the marks he had left on your body.
He helped you change, putting each piece of clothing in its proper place and still waiting for you to fix your hair, turning to him after a long time. The stain on the sleeve of his shirt, after it was put on, made your cheeks burn more than looking into his eyes and thinking about what the two of you had done.
âSoâŠâ you began, looking at him with a shy smile. Jaeyun smiled too, biting the inside of his cheek to keep it from growing even bigger as he got closer and wrapped one of his arms around your waist.
âThen Iâll take you home, and weâll have dinner properly again from now onâ as a couple, he wanted to add. But that was too much for just one night, Jaeyun wanted to tell you that as the two of you went out more often.
Explaining the fear he felt about his feelings for you was the most that could come out of Jaeyun's mouth. That made him feel good enough to not think he was lying â completely â to you. He was really afraid of what he felt, but at the same time, he was afraid of bringing you into his double world. The last part was still a secret, but at least hearing that you forgave him and that you accepted having a relationship with him was all that needed to be said.
Two months in which Jaeyun stopped being afraid to tell you what he felt for you. That the two of you, besides being business partners, had become a couple. You started to frequent his apartment and met his friends too, those who had to lie about their professions and never let it slip that they worked for Sim Jake, who you didn't even know.
Two months in which you had private security, unknown to you because Sunghoon's idea was better. At least one man every week took care of you from afar and kept Jaeyun informed in case anyone suspicious approached. No consequences were made as the relationship progressed. He was a little more relieved. Keeping it just in Jaeyun's life was what he wanted for a while, if things really progressed and became even more serious, he had to tell you about his other life. But there was no need yet.
âLoveâ your voice made him abandon the thoughts that constantly intrigued him, afraid that you would leave him at any moment for the lie he so wanted to get rid of, but couldn't. Looking in your direction, the smile came automatically when you approached him, going around the office desk to sit on his lap âIs everything okay?â
âWhy do you ask?â in the last few months Jaeyun let the thought pass that you could also read him the same way he did with you. That you knew him as well as he knew you.
âBecause Iâve been feeling quiet for a few days nowâ you wrapped one of your arms around his shoulders, at the same second he wrapped his arm around your waist âAnd because youâre twenty minutes late for dinner.â
Shit, the dinner. He had completely forgotten, staying inside the office to finish answering Jongseong and Sunghoonâs messages, trying to keep things out of danger with the new robbery that had been successfully carried out. He wanted to know if everything had gone according to the orders he had given that same morning, completely forgetting that he was supposed to meet you twenty minutes ago in the company parking lot.
âShit, love, Iâm sorryâ Jaeyun leaned in, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. His heavy breathing hit your skin and made you shiver. âI justââ
âHow about we go home, then?â you asked, one of your hands going up to his hair and trying to stroke it slowly. âYour day must have been kind of rough, those men are annoying when they want to go back on their proposals.â
Every time you deduced that Jaeyun's tiredness and fear had something to do with the office, his heart sank a little more. His breathing hitched and he wanted to scream. But he held himself back and just nodded slowly, kissing your skin and lifting his head to look at you.
âWait for me in the car? I'll fix everything here,â he asked.
âSure,â you smiled once more, that being enough to calm all the nerves that persisted in his body. You leaned in to leave a quick and simple kiss on Jaeyun's full lips. âI love you.â
âI love you, Y/n,â he whispered back, kissing you once more before letting you get off his lap to leave the room.
Saying that he loved you out loud was like freeing himself from the bonds that suffocated him, held him back, and hurt him. He had never said that out loud to anyone other than his parents and his best friends. At first, it was as scary as wanting a relationship, but as you said and showed your love, Jaeyun knew it was the right thing to do. He felt that all that love was overwhelming, that as intensely as it scared him, it was the only thing that gave him the courage to continue.
Turning off all the appliances in the room and turning off the lights, he headed to the hallways of the building, greeting the security guards and some employees who were still there. Going to meet you in the parking lot. He just wanted to go home, enjoy your company, and take a hot shower. Many notes Jaeyun could think about having sex with you and using it as a form of calming, but that night he just wanted to feel your embrace, and your smell alone being the only thing capable of making his mind unfocused from everything that worried him.
A natural calming that was always right in front of him, the person who was the perfect balance between chaos and what he needed to stay alive.
âJaeyun!â That was your voice, he could hear it from far away, but it wasn't like your call was as soft and calm as it always was. You were screaming. In desperation.
He looked around the open parking lot, trying to find you and why you seemed so desperate, but suddenly his world fell apart. Jaeyun's stomach was churning seeing your figure through the window of that van, screaming desperately and being pulled by someone hooded who wanted you to be quiet.
The car accelerated, making a complete turn in the parking lot before stopping next to Jaeyun and the passenger rolled down the window.
âWe have something that belongs to you, Jakeâ the man smiled with rotten teeth, Jaeyun ran a few steps to grab him, but the driver took off âWe want our drugs back!â he shouted before disappearing.
Your screams were the last thing he heard before the dead of night and the noise of the tires tearing through that parking lot. Jaeyun fell to his knees on the ground, the strength draining from his body. His scream echoed throughout the parking lot as he felt despair flood his body, along with the burning in his eyes and tears streaming down his cheeks.
What he feared most had happened. And he would stop at nothing to get you back.
© ikeuverse, 2024. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.
#enhypen#enhypen smut#jake smut#jaeyun smut#enhypen jake#enha smut#jake angst#jaeyun angst#jake x reader#enhypen x reader#enhypen angst#jake hard hours#enhypen hard hours#jaeyun hard hours#enha fics#enha angst#enhypen masterlist#enhypen imagines#bay writes.
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Chef's Kiss - Bang Chan
pairing : bangchan x fem!reader
summary : your husband chan came home from a long day at work and knew exactly what he needed to relax.
contains : soft dom!chan, unprotected sex, fingering, nipple play, size kink, praise kink, belly bulge, slight overstimulation, creampie
words : 2.2k
Ever since you and Chan got married, it felt like the two of you managed to grow even more obsessed with each other. Whether you were at work or running errands, all you could think about was seeing him and you found it impossible to put off the urge to be with him at all times. You knew the problem was mutual as Chan had gotten so much more clingy, unable to spend a single second away from you.
However it soon became so much harder for you to spend time together as work piled up and your hectic schedules failed to align. At times you would come home late from work and find him passed out on the couch, and other times you would fall asleep waiting for him.
The clock strikes nine as you stand in front of the stove, stirring the pan of pasta as the savoury aroma lingers in the air. The only audible sound was the bubbling of the thick pasta sauce and your occasional sighs as you waited for Chan to arrive from his work meeting which happened to go on for a lot longer than you liked.
Just as your frustration starts to kick in, you hear the front door swing open and the sound of your husband Chanâs comforting voice echoes through your shared apartment.
âBaby I'm home.â He calls out to you as he drops his bag and walks to the kitchen. You look over your shoulder and there he is, standing with a soft smile which sadly failed to conceal his exhaustion. Your face lights up as you feel his soothing presence envelop you.
He walks over to you and wraps his arms around your waist, his tired face resting in the crook of your neck.
âMmm smells so good.â He mutters as he takes a long inhale and you're unsure if he refers to the food you're cooking.
âI know you're starving but it's almost done, so just a few more minutes.â You tell him and shift your attention back to the pan of pasta.
âWell, then can I spend some time with the chef first?â He asks as he plants a small kiss on the skin of your neck.
You can't help but giggle, âYou could but, then you'll have to eat a cold dinner.â
âIt's alright.â he mumbles in your neck as his right hand reaches for the stove knob and twists it, turning it off.
You turn around to face him, your expression a mixture of affection and concern as you stare at him. âYou literally just got back, you need some rest.â
Chanâs grip around your waist tightens and he pulls you closer to himself, his body flush against yours. âButâŠI need you more.â He whispers as his hand sneaks behind you to find the flesh of your ass and gives it a light squeeze.
You wince at his sudden touch and look up at him. He lifts his other arm and uses his fingers to cup your face as he gently strokes his thumb across your cheek. The look on his face is soft yet filled with desire as his half-lidded eyes stare into yours.
His eyes shift to your lips and his face slowly gets closer, and closer to yours until your face is just a few inches apart from his. You shut your eyes closed and instantly feel his plump lips delicately press onto yours.
The kiss starts off sweet and slow, your lips gracefully moving against each other in a perfect rhythm, as if meant to fit together. Even though it was nothing special, your heart is racing as if it's the first time you've ever kissed.
Chan grows impatient and flicks his tongue against your lips, demanding your permission. You are quick to respond and soon enough, the movements of your hot mouths become faster and more aggressive.
His hand drops from your face to hook tightly around your waist and he picks you up. You immediately wrap your legs around his torso and grab onto his shoulders to steady yourself as you continue kissing him.
He turns around and takes a few steps towards the kitchen counter opposite to the stove, placing you on the cold marble surface. Chan pulls away and his mouth trails down to suck at the soft skin of your neck and exposed collarbones.
You tip your head back slightly, giving him better access to work his mouth on every inch of your burning skin. You hold the back of his head, fingers tangled in his hair as small sighs of pleasure escape your throat.
You feel his hand crawl under your sweater to gently massage the tender flesh of your breast, his fingertips circling around your perked nipple. He lightly pinches and rolls the hardened bud between his index finger and thumb.
âAhâŠâ A quiet moan slips from your lips, and you tug on the strands of his hair as the overwhelming feeling engulfs you.
Your reaction tempts Chan and he uses his free hand to cup the mound of your pussy, slowly palming it through the thin fabric of your shorts.
âSo wet already?â He pulls back from your neck and taunts you as his fingers rub the moist patch you didn't even realize was forming on the cotton.
He skillfully slides his fingers up and down your clothed pussy and you bite your lip, your cunt dripping even wetter at the blissful sensation. Your clit throbs painfully in the confines of your soaking shorts, begging to be touched as his piercing eyes stare into yours. This makes you roll your hips towards him in an attempt to push his fingers deeper inside your folds.
âGod, you're so desperate.â He utters in a low voice.
His hand stops moving and you suddenly feel his finger add pressure on the aching bundle of nerves in your pussy. Your back arches, head jerking back at the immense wave of arousal washing over you.
âUgh- ChanâŠâ You whimper in a pathetic tone as your hand drops from his head to grip the edge of the countertop.
âYou like that?â He presses even harder on your swollen clit, while his other hand drops from your tit to rest on your thigh.
âChan, pleaseâŠâÂ
âPlease what?â He questions.
âI want you.â
âCome on, you can do better than that.â He says as he starts rubbing slow circles on your clit.
Your body squirms, unable to contain the heat pooling at your core any longer.Â
âAh- please, I want you to fuck me.â
You look up at him with pleading eyes, mouth slightly parted and his expression softens at the sight. He removes his hand from your thigh and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
âThen I should give my baby what she wants.â His fingers grip the soft wool of your sweater and pull it up, taking it off of you and tossing it on the floor. He takes a second to admire your body, his eyes shifting from the hickeys he just left to your bare tits.
Chan reaches for the waistband of your shorts and you lift your hips up, making it easier for him to peel the piece of fabric off. You sit in front of him fully naked and he traces your figure with his eyes as if he had never seen you like this before.
âYou're so fucking hot you know that?â He asks as his eyes come back up to meet yours and a shy smile spreads on your face.
Before you know it, his hand is back on your pussy, this time without the annoying fabric separating you from his touch. His digits travel downward till they lightly hover over your slicked core and without warning, his finger slips knuckle deep inside you.
âS-shit.â The sudden sensation makes you whimper and soon after, you feel him add another finger inside your aching cunt. He slowly pumps his long fingers in and out of you, small moans falling from your lips as your eyes pinch close.
He pulls his fingers out of you and you let out a sad whine at the loss of stimulation and look up at him.
âLay back for me.â Chan commands, his voice almost a whisper.
You immediately lean backwards till the skin of your back hits the cool marble, your feet dangling in the air. His hands rush to unbutton his work shirt and he takes it off of himself before unzipping his pants. He pulls it down along with his underwear and you spread your legs even further apart, your juices dripping out onto the counter.
His cock jumps out, precum leaking from the red tip as he wraps his fingers around the thick shaft. Even though you've taken it so many times before, the sheer size of it never fails to intimidate you.
He taps his dick on your soppy cunt a few times, watching it clench around nothing in desperation. He slowly guides his fat tip into your hole and your jaw falls open as you feel your pussy stretch around his thick cock.Â
âFuck, you're so tight.â He curses under his breath.
He continues pushing himself inside you inch by inch and your vision starts to blur, the heat in your abdomen threatening to spill.
âItâs s-so big.â You cry out as he fills you up.
âBut you're taking me so well baby.â
Chan lets out a deep groan as the last bit of his length enters you and you feel his tip press against your cervix. Your brain goes fuzzy, the blood in your arteries boiling hot as he bottoms out in you.
âYour pretty pussyâs sucking me right in.â He praises as you clench around his base, pulling him deeper inside your gummy walls. His hands grab the back of your knees and he presses your legs down till they touch your chest, folding you in half.
He slides his dick out of you, till only his tip remains in your drenched cunt and slams it back into you with a harsh jerk of his hips. You feel the head of his cock hit the soft spot in your belly even harder this time.
âAh- fuck!â A loud moan escapes your throat as he starts pounding in and out of your pussy at a fast pace and your body jolts up. You feel your bones turn to jelly, stars twinkling across your closed eyelids as the hot pit in your stomach sends vibrations through your nerves.
You lift your head from where it rested on the counter and look down to see his cock repeatedly bulge out of your belly with each thrust of his hips.
âUgh- you're so deep!â You whine as the heat at your core continues spreading through you.
He lets go of one of your legs and places his veiny hand on your lower belly, pressing down on the bulge. He simultaneously picks up his pace, ramming into your spongy walls harder and faster and you throw your head back, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes.
âGod, right there!â You almost yell out as his cock kisses your sweet spot over and over again. Chan's heavy panting mixed with the lewd squelching sounds of your pussy fill the kitchen air, but you are too fucked out to hear any of it.
His hands grab your waist, nails digging crescent shapes into your skin as you feel his veins pulsate and twitch inside your puffy cunt.Â
âFucking shit!â He swears in a raspy voice.
His fingers move down to toy with your sensitive clit and your eyes roll to the back of your head. Your toes curl as you feel the familiar sensation build up between your legs, waiting to throw you over the edge anytime now.
âG-gonna cum!â You whimper loudly.
His next thrust hits you harder than you expect and sends your mind spiraling into another dimension as your long awaited orgasm rips through you. You squeal in a high pitched voice, your body shaking as Chan fucks you through your high.
âThere you go baby, cum on my cock like a good girl.â He says as he chases his own high, his pace unsteady and sloppy.Â
He continues fucking into your overstimulated pussy and your muscles tightens, the intense pleasure almost unbearable. You open your eyes slightly and through your blurred vision, see Chan's eyes shut and his brows furrowed.Â
âGonna fill you up so nice.â
Before your brain can process his words, he shoots his load deep into you as a low grunt exits his lips. You gasp as the warm white strings coat your walls and fill you up.Â
His thrusts slow down as he rides out his high, his cock sticky with your wetness and his own cum. He stops moving and pulls his dick out of your pussy, his cum dripping out of your hole.
You lay on the countertop, your chest rising and falling with each breath you take. You have no energy left in your body to sit up or enough brainpower to even try and Chan knows that.
He hooks his arm under your waist as his other hand supports the back of your neck and he pulls you up into his embrace. He holds you tight, the comforting warmth of his skin seeping into your body and you almost fall asleep right there.
âI missed you.â He says in a soft voice as he strokes your hair.
âI missed you too.â
#skz smut#stray kids smut#bang chan#bangchan x reader#bangchan smut#bang chan smut#bangchan fanfic#bangchan x you#bangchan scenarios#bangchan imagines#bangchan hard thoughts#stray kids hard thoughts#bangchan hard hours#bang chan imagines#stray kids fanfic#stray kids scenarios#bangchan x female reader#skz x you#skz fanfic#skz hard hours#stray kids#stray kids imagines#stray kids bang chan#kpop smut#bang chan fanfic#stray kids drabbles#skz scenarios#bang chan x reader#stray kids x reader#stray kids x you
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watching him
part of him (one-shot series)
pairing: Spencer Reid x gn!reader summary: You help Spencer wash his curls properly. words: 1,2k warnings: most self indulgent fluff you have ever read, nudity/bathing together, maybe a bit suggestive but still sfw, no y/n a/n: I was in the shower and famously I have the same hair type and color as mgg and we would absolutely share our routine.
Spencer's head tilted toward you, giving you better access to his tangled brown strands.Â
Your fingers, maybe a bit too roughly, moved through his scalp, detangling with a kind of focused care you hadnât realized you were capable of.
You sat facing each other in the cramped bathroom, your legs tucked on either side of his while his stretched out around you, creating a tight but strangely comfortable space between you.
You couldn't help but watch him intently.Â
With his eyes closed, unaware of your gaze, he looked almost etherealâpeaceful in a way you rarely got to see.Â
His wet curls framed his face, softening his features, and the dim light of the bathroom made him look even more serene.Â
There was something mesmerizing about watching him like this, when he couldn't catch you staring, when he couldn't see the way you studied every detail.
He looked so pretty, so effortlessly beautiful, that you let yourself indulge, longer than you should, in the quiet act of watching him.
âThis smells nice,â he murmured, his eyes squeezed shut to shield them from your movements and the severe foam you created. His voice was soft, almost drowsy.Â
He didnât say anything more, but you caught the faintest hint of pleasure in his tone.Â
Maybe he enjoyed this. Maybe he liked having his hair tugged. You made a mental note of that.
âI donât really like this one much,â you admitted, scrunching your nose at the scent as you continued working the product through his hair.
âReally?â he asked, his brows furrowing slightly. His eyes remained closed, but the slight upward tilt of his head suggested curiosity.
âYeah. Itâs too intense. I liked it at first, but now itâs overwhelming.â
âI still like it. It smells like you,â he replied, his voice low and steady.
Not water related heat rushed through your body.Â
You suddenly became hyper-aware of how close you were.Â
You resumed your careful work on his curls, trying to focus, but it wasnât easy.
You never thought youâd enjoy this so much. You hated washing your own hair, but washing his? It felt like a sweet dessert, a perfect indulgence after the cozy dinner youâd shared on the couch.
Your thighs kept brushing against his in the tight confines of the tub, sending a slow, torturous fever through your veins.
As if that werenât enough, his hands found your knees at some point, his thumbs tracing lazy circles on your skin.Â
He wasnât making your task any easier.
You fought to keep your breath steady, your heart from racing out of control. You tried to play it cool, as if having him this close, this intimate, wasnât driving you to the edge.
Is this what it felt like?Â
Is this how you know the bond with him is real? Maybe it wasn't an accident after all.Â
You've felt like you dreamed Spencer into existence, like he stepped out of the picture you'd been painting in your mind since childhood.Â
You felt like you dreamed him up .
And one day, there he wasâalive, right in front of you, as if he'd always been meant to be.
And now you were squeezed together in your tiny bathtub on a Friday night, showing him how to take care of his curls.Â
âOkay, Iâm going to rinse out the shampoo now. Donât open your eyes,â you warned.
âTheyâre still closed,â he assured, a slight smirk tugging at his lips.
You carefully worked the water through his hair, rinsing away the foam while your fingers combed through his curls. You realized you mightâve been a little rougher than necessary. You gently squeezed the excess water from his hair.
âYou have to get rid of the water like this,â you explained, gathering his hair and squeezing it upward in small sections. âDonât straighten it out, just squeeze it up. Does that make sense?â
âI get it,â he said, his voice laced with quiet trust.
âYou could do more complicated stuff, but your hairâs pretty gentle, so I think just shampoo and conditioner for curly hair will do the trick. Just... donât brush it when itâs dry, okay?â
âOkay,â he repeated, nodding slightly.
âYou only brush it when itâs really, really wet. Now for the conditioner.â You took the bottle and squeezed out what you deemed the right amount, showing it to him. âThis should be enough.â
He nodded again, his head still hanging, eyes shut as the water ran over him. You carefully worked the conditioner into his hair.Â
âYou can brush through it if you need to, but donât put any on your scalp. This one doesnât need time to soak in, so we can rinse it right away.â
You gently massaged the conditioner through his curls before turning on the water again, running your fingers through his hair to ensure all the product was rinsed out.
You turned the water off and squeezed the excess water from his hair one last time.
Gently, you lifted his head, tugging it upward, and carefully pushed his damp curls away from his pretty face.Â
As you brushed the hair from his forehead, his eyes blinked open, still sensitive to the bright bathroom light.Â
His lashes were damp, and he rubbed at his eyes, finally releasing his hold on your knees.Â
For a moment, you both just looked at each other.
There you were.
Both naked.
Taking care of each other.
What kind of dream was this?
Before you got to dwell on your life more Spencer broke the silence.Â
âNow, my turn,â he said, his voice still soft but now filled with a teasing certainty.
You blinked, surprised. âWhat?â
âIâm going to wash your hair,â he clarified, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.Â
There was even more warmth in his eyes than usual and a quiet determination you werenât sure you could say no to.
âSpence, you donât have toââ
âI know,â he said, already shifting in the tub to give himself a bit more space, motioning for you to turn around. âBut I want to.â
You hesitated for a moment, the idea of letting him touch you in such a wayâthis close, this tenderâsending a flutter of nervous excitement through your chest.Â
âOkay,â you murmured as you turned around.Â
You werenât sure how much longer you could handle facing him now that his eyes were open.
You couldnât take the way he looked at you. It felt too soft and too loving sometimes.
What did you do to deserve this? To deserve him?
For the sake of your own sanity, you shifted your focus to counting the tiles, letting the numbers steady your racing thoughts of him.
So close. So visible in the bathroom lighting.
His hands found their way to your shoulders first, steady and reassuring, before sliding up to your head.Â
His fingers, surprisingly deft, massaged your scalp with slow, deliberate movements, while his other hand held the showerhead, gently wetting your hair.Â
You hadnât anticipated how good it would feel, how effortlessly the tension in your body would melt away under his careful touch.
âIâll be gentle,â he murmured, his voice close to your ear, causing a shiver to run down your spine.
You closed your eyes, surrendering to him. Letting him watch you.
#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#one shot#spencer reid x gn reader#spencer reid x gn!reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#criminal minds x reader#spencer x reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid comfort
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I just. Love Mandoâa so fucking much. Itâs so great.
They have three different words to describe ways to be stabbed. Bikadinir (to stab with a broad blade; ârun throughâ), chekar (to stab with a small blade, âshivâ), and kalikir (to stab with a narrow blade, âskewerâ).
They have one pronoun. Kaysh. Thatâs it. Buir is just parent, thereâs no mom/dad. No son/daughter, just ad, adâika, ikaad. Child. Vod can mean sibling, friend, comrade. All at once. Amazing.
They have dozens of ways to insult someone. Diâkut, someone who forgets to put their pants on. Utreekov, emptyhead. Najaat, no honor. Dini, lunatic. Kaysh mirsh solus, âtheir brain cell is lonely.â Skanah, âmuch hated person/thing.â Hutâuun, coward. Geâhutâuun, not even notable enough to be called a coward (how insulting is that?). Demagolka, originating from Demagol, the name of a scientist who was so fucking shitty that his name became the worst insult a Mandalorian could call you. And that insult is child abuser, monster, war criminal, someone with no honor.
And then thereâs âshabâ, which we donât have an official definition for, but the fandom collectively agrees it means âfuck.â Because we have shabiir (to screw up), shabâla (screwed up), shabârudur (to screw with), and shabuir (jerk but much stronger, AKA asshole/motherfucker).
And Mandoâade donât say âI love you.â They say âNi karâtayli gar darasuum.â I hold you in my heart for eternity. Like. Are you serious. Thatâs so much better than âI love you.â If someone said that to me I would die on the spot.
Mirshmureâcya means âbrain kiss.â Slang for headbutt, which is a thing Mandoâade do a lot, apparently. And itâs a sign of affection, too. They show affection by gently bonking their helmets together. How adorable is that???
Oh, and shereshoy. A lust for life âand much more.â Represented by orange on their armor. âThe enjoyment of each day and the determination to seek and grab every possible experience, as well as surviving to see the next day - hanging onto life and relishing it.â And that âoyâ at the end of it, derived from âOya!â
âOyaâ, which can mean so many things. A war cry before a fight or hunt. A celebration. An encouragement. âLetâs hunt!â âHoorah!â âCheers!â âThatâs the spirit!â
This post got much longer than I meant it to lol. Iâll stop here. But you get the gist. Mandoâa is a wonderful language and I am in love with it.
#this language is amazing#thereâs so much more i could infodump about#mandoa#mandalorians#the mandalorian#star wars#fictional language#the clone wars#jango fett#jaster mereel#boba fett#true mandalorians
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