#this bastard scammed me

[mrpenguinpants]

I am attracted to men but at what cost

[authoramalgam]

Never have I had a bastard mold to my art style so quickly

Anywayssss I need his gender. NOW.

[toytulini]

me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts

[witheredgardenparty]

Where I live, a common scam is for someone to knock on your door and say, "we're giving estimates to everyone in the neighborhood." I think it's the sort of scam that must be common in suburban areas, which is odd because A.) I do not live in a suburb and B.) I live in a very strange location that adds an almost fae-like surreal layer to the grift.

A nervous young man in an ill-fitting uniform knocks on my door and wants to know if I have problems with unwanted pests. Do I have any yellow jackets in my walls? Ants crawling across my counters? Spider season is upon us, am I ready?

He turns around and points in the distance.

At first, I think he is pointing up into the maple tree behind him. There is a low hanging cone of mud and spittle, a fully formed paper wasp nest. It has been active for months. The brood are voracious consumers of aphids and invasive grubs. Paper wasps are social creatures who recognize their neighbors, know how to avoid unnecessary conflict so long as resources are plentiful.

Instead, the young man is pointing at a house nearby. He calls the owner by name. Says he gave her an excellent price for treatment of the yard and house.

Her yard is sterile grass. No matter how she tries, nothing much else grows. Her daisies wilt in decent weather. Her plum trees do not blossom. There is no movement.

I have to step outside to properly continue speaking. The cats are trying to escape through the open threshold. They need kicking back, a door shutting. I cradle my cup of tea and beetles creep between my toes.

I ask him only, does it look like anything is unwanted here?

He blinks at me, then blinks again. Finally, he really looks.

There is no sterile grass. Only broadleaf herbs and purple clover and wild vetch toppling unto itself climbing up up up onto any surface. There are patches of field designated for flowers bursting in every color, always something blooming no matter the season. Gourds slither between corn stalks, over dragon's tongues.

Bees are resting on every blossom. Ants are keeping the soil aerated. Cicadas are humming in the summer heat. Damselflies are dancing to the tune.

A magnolia tree towers over us both, its leaves lousy with spicebush caterpillars.

Everything is living. Everything is dying. And nothing for the fault of simply existing.

The young man looks back at me with different eyes. He thanks me for my time.

He returns to his company car and I return inside. There is the overwhelming feeling that an unspoken test has been passed. Though neither of us is certain which one of us was the fae.

[toasterbounce]

Hey, it's Reinhard.Living with diabetes has always been tough, but now it's a matter of life and death. Insulin costs have gone so high and I can't afford it anymore. Meanwhile, my family's trapped in Rafah, Gaza, amidst militia chaos. My grandma's battling cancer, and we're stuck, helpless, and scared. They're holed up in an apartment building, surrounded. We need medication, a way out—anything to survive. Please, help us through this nightmare. Share our story, lend a hand if you can. We're counting on you.

i don't have money to begin with and you are a scammer

get the fuck out of my inbox and stop using a humanitarian crisis for your own financial gain

cunt

[laurenablack]

Hi I can't stop thinking about Scam X Jodie. Like every time I stop thinking about something else, it just pops back up, like hey, remember this? Remember how fucking weird this is? What the fuck.

[talentforlying]

father grimaldi: forgive me, lord, for i have sinned. constantine: — understatement of the bloody century, that is. father grimaldi: the chapel is closed to the public! who are you? how did you get in here . . .? constantine: did you know vatican city has the highest per-capita crime rate of any nation state in the world? i'd have thought a touch of breaking and entering's pretty much par for the course around here.

so #1, an undeniable slay.

#2, how long do we think he was sitting in the confessional booth waiting for the guy to wake up from ellie's fake vision quest. like an hour? checking his light, practicing his Big Reveal Pose TM? he probably brought a book with him and just shoved it underneath the seat cushion when it was time to show off.

#3, knowing how intensely he studied & continues to study in order to teach himself magic at such an absurdly advanced level without any teachers to formally guide him? and how that level of dedication would absolutely carry over into researching a mark / making sure he had every corner of a confidence scheme nailed down pat? i like to imagine that the day before this meeting was spent with his severely under-caffeinated ass parked at a public library computer, squinting at articles for 'most important things to know about vatican city before you travel' or 'top 10 little-known facts about vatican city' and using the back of his boarding pass to take notes on what would be the best throwaway line to blow off all the usual questions with.

also, he probably woke up still in his travel clothes less than two hours before this scene and had to hustle to get suited up in time for his Dramatic Apparition. the demon blood was boiling so bad in that chapel that it was giving him a killer migraine. he didn't get breakfast so his stomach was growling the ENTIRE time. but all that meant was he had plenty of room to eat UP the runway and that's EXACTLY what the fuck he did.i'm

[vaugarde]

absolutely bonkers idea i just had abt widow (my kirby oc thats a halcandran-floralian spider hybrid and is taranza’s half sister for those not in the know)

what if shes not just taranza’s half sister but magolor’s half sister

[ramblingmerlin]

gwaine and arthur for blorbo bingo:>

for bbg (affectionate) gwaine:

and for bbg (derogatory) arthur:

[tiredwiredanduninspired]

Good news to everyone that follows me- I’m sad about being single again and you get to deal with the consequences

>:)

[nuclearpoweredsniper]

its so funny how fast i went from "aww redd is so cute!!! little happy fox man" to "FUCKING CON ARTIST. FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT SCAMMER I WISH ANIMAL CROSSING HAD GUNS AND BOMBS AND TORTURE DEVICES"

[clorofolle]

Ahh also!! I'm getting new glasses tomorrow!! I have good hopes they can help with my headaches, as I have a few leads and a couple of them are eye-related!

[gretchenfinch]

stacklands updated so if you need me ill be putting my wizards to work in the mines

[snowtamale]

i cannot believe white people pay other white people to stick needles in their dog and call it "dog acupuncture". what in the colonialism hell?

it's bad enough to have white folks calling themselves buddhist while spouting conspiracy theory racism or white men thinking they're "kung fu" experts when they've never engaged with the intellectual/philosophical side of any martial arts and just use it for domineering violence

[giantroboticplatypusbutt218]

Were this a lawless land I would obliterate whoever at Xfinity decided to raise my bill again for no good fucking reason.

I signed a fucking contract to pay a specific amount for a specific period of time they shouldn't be able to charge me more with almost zero notice and then force me to use their dogshit website where I have to reset my password in order to access my account and maybe figure out why the fuck they're doing this to me.

I can look into other internet service providers but this stupid company is the only one in many areas capable of delivering service to older homes and my chances don't feel good. Not to mention there's the possibility that they'll fucking charge me for quitting their service!

Edit: WAS ANYONE GONNA TELL ME THERE WAS A FUCKING SECURITY BREACH THAT AFFECTS ALL CUSTOMERS?! Supposedly they sent out an email when it happened, in late October, but I never got an email about it or a letter in the mail, meaning I didn't know until just fucking now that my username, password, and basically all personal information was hacked.

Yep. Whatever it takes I'm switching to another provider. This is absolute horseshit.

[karlachian]

okay well picture this you are 24 years old. already crazy but stick with me. not only are you 24 years old you have spent the last 7 years of your life just like #folkheroing your way across the wilds. you got that rapier swag etc. anyways you are also a horrible little ball of guilt stuffed into an approximation of a man (again you are 24 years old and also secretly a warlock). anyways then you get kidnapped by mindflayers and tadpoled (normal weekend) also your body changes irreversibly in a way that you cannot control due to your truly horrid patron because you refuse to kill like an innocent woman (BAD weekend). now. you are a monster hunter and one of the people in your new gaggle of tentative allies is like so clearly and obviously a vampire. evil little cunt too. but you're like no he's charming and has nice hair (you are the only person who holds this opinion because you see the vision in ways never seen before). then he fucking BITES you. you're like um. girl. why would you want me to kill you. and he's like NO i have TRAUMA. and then you listen and he DOES have trauma. 200 years of it and it's INSANE. now of course you are a sweet man and you are gentle and kind and patient and a) do not kill him and b) when he tries to use seduction technologies to get your ass you fairytale prince him into a courtship. he's like i actually wanted to scam you bigstyle but you're actually good to me also i kind of want you for real. what do we do now. and you're like haha yessss romanceeeeeee. he complains about everything but dances with you anyways it's very sweet. this whole time you are ignoring your insane self-worth and general care for own wellbeing issues until again this classically cunty looking vampire is like "ummmm you are being a bit of a little bitch also i like you so stop being a little bitch". you help him kill his fucking horrid bastard of a vampire lord and keep him from continuing the cycle of abuse. he "and he SAID NO PICKLES" you out of your warlock pact. you have sex on his GRAVE. you propose MARRIAGE. HE SAYS YES. he hates your negligent father with self-expression issues so much and WILL be making his life hell. oh yeah you're the grand duke's son you can be grand duke now (despite that being an elected position?). this whole time once again you are. 24 years old. that's what it's like to be wyll ravengard on an astarion origin wyllstarion run. ruminate with me in this space tonight.