#this bastard scammed me

[mrpenguinpants]

I am attracted to men but at what cost

[authoramalgam]

Never have I had a bastard mold to my art style so quickly

Anywayssss I need his gender. NOW.

[toytulini]

me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts

[talentforlying]

father grimaldi: forgive me, lord, for i have sinned. constantine: — understatement of the bloody century, that is. father grimaldi: the chapel is closed to the public! who are you? how did you get in here . . .? constantine: did you know vatican city has the highest per-capita crime rate of any nation state in the world? i'd have thought a touch of breaking and entering's pretty much par for the course around here.

so #1, an undeniable slay.

#2, how long do we think he was sitting in the confessional booth waiting for the guy to wake up from ellie's fake vision quest. like an hour? checking his light, practicing his Big Reveal Pose TM? he probably brought a book with him and just shoved it underneath the seat cushion when it was time to show off.

#3, knowing how intensely he studied & continues to study in order to teach himself magic at such an absurdly advanced level without any teachers to formally guide him? and how that level of dedication would absolutely carry over into researching a mark / making sure he had every corner of a confidence scheme nailed down pat? i like to imagine that the day before this meeting was spent with his severely under-caffeinated ass parked at a public library computer, squinting at articles for 'most important things to know about vatican city before you travel' or 'top 10 little-known facts about vatican city' and using the back of his boarding pass to take notes on what would be the best throwaway line to blow off all the usual questions with.

also, he probably woke up still in his travel clothes less than two hours before this scene and had to hustle to get suited up in time for his Dramatic Apparition. the demon blood was boiling so bad in that chapel that it was giving him a killer migraine. he didn't get breakfast so his stomach was growling the ENTIRE time. but all that meant was he had plenty of room to eat UP the runway and that's EXACTLY what the fuck he did.i'm

[ramblingmerlin]

gwaine and arthur for blorbo bingo:>

for bbg (affectionate) gwaine:

and for bbg (derogatory) arthur:

[tiredwiredanduninspired]

Good news to everyone that follows me- I’m sad about being single again and you get to deal with the consequences

>:)

[nuclearpoweredsniper]

its so funny how fast i went from "aww redd is so cute!!! little happy fox man" to "FUCKING CON ARTIST. FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT SCAMMER I WISH ANIMAL CROSSING HAD GUNS AND BOMBS AND TORTURE DEVICES"

[technicallydelightfulpenguin]

https://www.tumblr.com/technicallydelightfulpenguin/765985760581156864/hi-i-hope-you-are-well-i-have-lupus-crohns

toovoidlady / Rosepa Mwikwabe is a scammer. this exact same paypal account is currently being used by another tumblr scammer that’s profiting off of the genocide by pretending to be palestinian, a-mother-of-gaza (past tumblr usernames: grandmoonpersona, sweatybasementkoala, massivegalaxytragedy, and socandyfest)

you can see here https://archive.ph/https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=L9HUZC7VT3MM6 that between October 14th and November 1st they edited the name on their paypal account from Joseph Mwikwabe to Rosepa Mwikwabe

WHAT!!!?

[witheredgardenparty]

Where I live, a common scam is for someone to knock on your door and say, "we're giving estimates to everyone in the neighborhood." I think it's the sort of scam that must be common in suburban areas, which is odd because A.) I do not live in a suburb and B.) I live in a very strange location that adds an almost fae-like surreal layer to the grift.

A nervous young man in an ill-fitting uniform knocks on my door and wants to know if I have problems with unwanted pests. Do I have any yellow jackets in my walls? Ants crawling across my counters? Spider season is upon us, am I ready?

He turns around and points in the distance.

At first, I think he is pointing up into the maple tree behind him. There is a low hanging cone of mud and spittle, a fully formed paper wasp nest. It has been active for months. The brood are voracious consumers of aphids and invasive grubs. Paper wasps are social creatures who recognize their neighbors, know how to avoid unnecessary conflict so long as resources are plentiful.

Instead, the young man is pointing at a house nearby. He calls the owner by name. Says he gave her an excellent price for treatment of the yard and house.

Her yard is sterile grass. No matter how she tries, nothing much else grows. Her daisies wilt in decent weather. Her plum trees do not blossom. There is no movement.

I have to step outside to properly continue speaking. The cats are trying to escape through the open threshold. They need kicking back, a door shutting. I cradle my cup of tea and beetles creep between my toes.

I ask him only, does it look like anything is unwanted here?

He blinks at me, then blinks again. Finally, he really looks.

There is no sterile grass. Only broadleaf herbs and purple clover and wild vetch toppling unto itself climbing up up up onto any surface. There are patches of field designated for flowers bursting in every color, always something blooming no matter the season. Gourds slither between corn stalks, over dragon's tongues.

Bees are resting on every blossom. Ants are keeping the soil aerated. Cicadas are humming in the summer heat. Damselflies are dancing to the tune.

A magnolia tree towers over us both, its leaves lousy with spicebush caterpillars.

Everything is living. Everything is dying. And nothing for the fault of simply existing.

The young man looks back at me with different eyes. He thanks me for my time.

He returns to his company car and I return inside. There is the overwhelming feeling that an unspoken test has been passed. Though neither of us is certain which one of us was the fae.

[snowtamale]

i cannot believe white people pay other white people to stick needles in their dog and call it "dog acupuncture". what in the colonialism hell?

it's bad enough to have white folks calling themselves buddhist while spouting conspiracy theory racism or white men thinking they're "kung fu" experts when they've never engaged with the intellectual/philosophical side of any martial arts and just use it for domineering violence

[giantroboticplatypusbutt218]

Were this a lawless land I would obliterate whoever at Xfinity decided to raise my bill again for no good fucking reason.

I signed a fucking contract to pay a specific amount for a specific period of time they shouldn't be able to charge me more with almost zero notice and then force me to use their dogshit website where I have to reset my password in order to access my account and maybe figure out why the fuck they're doing this to me.

I can look into other internet service providers but this stupid company is the only one in many areas capable of delivering service to older homes and my chances don't feel good. Not to mention there's the possibility that they'll fucking charge me for quitting their service!

Edit: WAS ANYONE GONNA TELL ME THERE WAS A FUCKING SECURITY BREACH THAT AFFECTS ALL CUSTOMERS?! Supposedly they sent out an email when it happened, in late October, but I never got an email about it or a letter in the mail, meaning I didn't know until just fucking now that my username, password, and basically all personal information was hacked.

Yep. Whatever it takes I'm switching to another provider. This is absolute horseshit.

[thisisntmyrightera]

Together - CHO HYUN-JU x Fem Reader Part 2

Summary: Reader is scammed and abandoned by her boyfriend, leaving her alone in South Korea to her fate, so in desperate search of a solution to return to her home country she decides to join the squid games to get money, within the game she meets a couple of people who become her friends and could possibly be something more.

Warning: Violence, homophobia mention of attempted rape and sexist language

Hours passed, one after another as groups of 5 people entered after passing the tests, time was exhausting, hearing gunshots in the distance and watching as the greedy people got upset every time the door opened again and again

I had already gone back and forth from my mattress to the steps, I sat down and lay down bored looking around feeling the irritation on my ankle more and more, the guard had tied it so tight that a red irritation had started to appear on my skin

Ouch - I said barely touching my ankle feeling the burning that was irritated even more by the friction of the fabric

Are you okay let me see - Hyun-Ju approached slowly sitting down a couple of steps below taking my foot carefully - did you twist your foot?

No, I'm fine - I looked at her embarrassed, trying to avoid her gaze, but her firm and large hand held my foot, looking at me - it's just a scratch, I think

Let me see - her touch went from firm to soft and delicate, slowly lifting the fabric of my pants, showing the red and irritated mark on my skin - I see, your skin is very sensitive, are you weak after all?

Hey, I'm not weak - her laugh made me laugh with her, pushing her a little while my leg rested on her knee - Hyun-Ju… can I ask you something?

Sure - her smile was still kind as she carefully folded my pants up, making sure the fabric didn't touch the irritated area again

Why are you here? Do you need the money for something? - Her face seemed to turn even paler than it already was, her smile blurred and her eyes looked at the floor in shame, as if she had asked the most embarrassing thing on the planet - If you don't want to tell me, I'll understand, excuse my intrusion

No… it's not that - she sighed slowly swallowing saliva and then looked at me with a look of embarrassment - my… my goal is to get to Thailand

Thailand? Do you need to go on vacation or something? - I smiled at her naively excited, thousands of times I had heard about that country but I still had not had the fortune to know it

No..- she smiled mocking a little at my foreign innocence - I…I need to go finish my transition you know..

Transition?..oh..I..understand Hyun-Ju sorry I shouldn't have asked you something so personal

Don't worry - she smiled a little moving her fingers nervously playing with the green fabric - it's just that…nobody is ever interested in my story and it's a little difficult for me to tell it

I understand…well..- I looked at her going down a couple of steps until I was sitting next to her looking at her attentively - if you want you can tell me, I would like to meet Hyun-Ju - She laughed with her eyes a little wet looking to the other side trying to hold her breath - do you work?

I worked… - she sighed again, this time deeper, dropping her shoulders - I was fired from my job when… well… I decided to tell everyone what I really am, they were ashamed of me and, they fired me

They are bastards, that is not right or even legal, what does your identity have to do with your ability, they are ignorant - I snorted angrily clenching my jaw - it must have been a dumb job after all, right? You must not have missed much

I was a soldier… - she looked at me, moving her legs nervously - a sergeant to be more exact, after they fired me my mother cried a lot and my father was ashamed, they don't talk to me anymore, my friends stopped talking to me and… - her voice broke off as her lips trembled - and everything became difficult and lonely

I understand, the people you trusted turned their backs on you - I looked at her feeling stupid, I shouldn't have forcing her to open her feelings like that, now I felt guilty for making her cry because of my silly curiosity - but… Hyun-Ju - I smiled a little taking her hand (which I could barely hold a couple of fingers of her big hand) I can be your friend, I would have loved to meet you somewhere else and be able to help you feel better about yourself, after all you haven't done anything wrong, being yourself makes you very brave

That's why I want to go to Thailand, I've heard that in that country there are the best doctors and the prettiest girls, I would love to be able to complete my transition and finally be what I want to be - her eyes showed a sparkle when she talked about it, her illusion overflowed through her pores

You don't have to go to Thailand to feel like that, for me you are already beautiful - my arms surrounded her as soon as the sobs began to come out of her chest and her hands covered her face saddened by crying, she was so fragile, my arms could barely surround her shoulders while her head rested on my shoulder sobbing and shaking - if you want to cry do it, people have been very cruel to you, but never cry out of shame, you have nothing to feel disappointed in yourself about.

This time, the shots didn't seem so dangerous and time passed without feeling it so slowly, she was a magical being that made me lose track of time

You are also very pretty, since I met you, I felt your bravery but also your heart, not everyone shows what they have inside and makes it look so valuable - her hands slowly wiped her tears taking care not to ruin her eyeliner and her diva bangs

It's not time to get sentimental - I laughed pushing her slowly while I got up adjusting my blouse going down a couple of steps - I'll go to the bathroom in the meantime

Do you want me to accompany you?

No, I'll be fine, wait for me here don't go anywhere - I laughed walking across the large space in the center of the beds feeling everyone's gazes.

They followed me and whispered, some laughed and others even said uncomfortable things waiting for me to react upset, they made the path very difficult to the door which was empty and as it was supposed, almost all the guards were in the yard even while the game continued.

The bathroom was big, with lots of cubicles and mirrors, almost uncomfortable to look at, like those endless and gloomy backgrounds, I could barely walk without tripping over to one of the toilets, sitting down uncomfortably listening to the door open once again, this time the footsteps of several people echoed in the almost empty place and a couple of laughs broke the silence and then a loud bang on my door made me jump scared, quickly pulling up my clothes

-I know you're in there, naughty girl, get out of there - the boys' laughter echoed off the walls, how could I have gotten into the wrong bathroom - get out you damn bitch - A loud bang again made me jump scared, unlocking the door with fear and opening it slowly

What did I tell you, the foreigner was here - the purple-haired boy laughed leaning on the bathroom door almost joining his face to mine - what are you doing here, cutie?

Nothing, I'm done - I looked at him, barely trying to get through quickly, scared, feeling a clumsy and strong hand pulling my hair

Come here bitch, I'm not done with you - this time his strength made me slam against one of the bathroom doors, making my back hurt - we know why whores like you come to our country, they come for sex and attention from us, don't they?

That's right, my friend - the long-haired man laughed, pressing his sweaty face against my cheek - she smells good, tell us, darling, what is such a pretty and sexy girl doing with that damn homosexual monster, huh?

She's not a monster, she's my friend - I looked at him, annoyed, tired of continuing to deal with men like him, but despite trying to get out of his hands, I couldn't - her name is Hyun-Ju, that's what they should call her

Oh, how cute, so you're a fucking weirdo like that effeminate? You like faggots, huh? - He laughed, hitting my cheek, making me scream in pain- You know my friend Nam-Gyu liked you as soon as he saw you, don't you like my friend? He's a real man

Leave me alone - I could barely speak when I felt his hand on my neck, pressing me against the door

Leave you? Honey, we're just getting started - the rapper laughed with his friend - do whatever you want to her Nam-Gyu, show her what it's like to be with a real man

My screams could barely be heard a couple of centimeters away, his firm hand on my neck and my crying didn't help much, feeling his disgusting hands running over my body, under my shirt and on the elastic of my pants made me feel even more of an idiot, this was all my fault

Shut your fucking mouth, you're distracting me - another blow again, this time on my lip leaving me stunned - hold her tight, she won't stop moving

I could feel the cold air on my thighs as they pulled down my pants and laughed talking disgusting and meaningless things, everything seemed to get even more dizzy, everything looked blurry until my body fell to the cold floor and again I could react, my tears wouldn't stop running down my face but I could notice the rapper and his friend lying on the floor, the latter Nam-Gyu wiping his bleeding nose

This will be the last time you approach her, is that clear? - Hyun-Ju hit him once more, slamming his head on the floor, leaving him unconscious - If you touch her again, I'll kill you, you fucking idiot, I'll kill you!

The purple haired boy ran hysterically almost tripping over his shoulder, not caring that his friend was on the floor, and I felt so humiliated, lying in a corner of the bathroom crying with a bleeding lip. If only I had listened to my parents from the beginning, I would have never come to this country and this wouldn't be happening. It was all my fault.

Calm down, sweetie, here I am - Hyun-Ju was much taller than those two men, her body was still strong and thick, but her presence was so calm and gave me so much peace that I couldn't feel intimidated by her.

Her hands, careful as always, held my pants, slowly lifting them up until they were in place, then they went to my face, checking my bruises and moving my hair out of my eyes so she could see every inch of my skin.

Sorry… - I looked at her embarrassed, feeling my tears running non-stop, I felt so humiliated and dirty that I couldn't think of anything else but that everything was my fault

You don't have to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong, no one will do anything bad to you anymore, I promise - her arms held me, she never asked me to stop crying or forced me to calm down, she just let me take it all out in her arms, rocking me slowly - let's go outside

But… - I looked at her with fear, shaking her head

Nothing bad will happen, I promise, as long as we're together I'll take care of you, okay? - I could feel my hair being brushed by her fingers slowly and carefully

Ok… - I sighed wiping my eyes with my sweater getting up slowly holding on to her arm so I wouldn't fall, luckily when we left the lights were almost off and most of the people who were already in their beds were getting ready to sleep, thank god without paying attention to us as we crossed the large space in the center

Let's go to bed, tomorrow will be a new day and we must be focused - her hands held my back slowly, making me go up the stairs carefully taking care not to trip - do you want me to help you with your shoes?

No.. - I looked at her embarrassed sitting on my bed taking off my sweater carefully while she stood rubbing her hands nervously

Okay, if you need anything, I'll be in my bed, just call me okay? -She smiled lightly at me, almost invisible because of the darkness of the place, but I could feel it, she made me feel those nice things

Hyun-Ju…-I held her hand quickly while she stopped almost tripping- can you… stay, I'm afraid to sleep alone

Do you want me to stay here? I can watch you if it makes you feel safer -she went back up a few steps sitting down carefully

You can sleep with me, we'll both rest and take care of each other- I could feel my cheeks erupting again while I held the blanket so she could come in with me

Are you sure? I don't want to bother you…

I'm sure, come - I smiled at her, barely feeling a pain in my lip, she just lay down carefully, her body almost taking up more than half of the bed but her presence was so calm that it made me feel like everything was perfect again

I didn't understand why I felt that way, safe and loved, with honesty and without being hurt

Thank you Hyun-Ju…thanks for saving me

Thanks to you, sweetheart, you saved me in a different way,

----------------------------------

Thanks for reading, I'll be back soon! Tag List!

Part 3

@kuureii @sann1e @sunflowers-are-heaven @bridellashiper

[pricetagged]

MEDIEVAL SCAMMER GHOAP?! Please enlighten us🙏🙏🙏

Since you both asked so nicely, have a snippet of a whisp of a concept😅

I have an idea. Not fully fleshed out. I could go in two directions, either historical Ghoap working as Pardoners and taking advantage of ignorant village reader (corruption kink, religious themes, abuse of power etc.).

OR, for my monster-lovers, has anyone seen Dragonheart? I was picturing, like, one of them is something beastly, the other plays at knight = profit? Fantasy scam and rescue? So, it would go something like this:

(Tw kidnapping and kind of mean Ghoap)

---------

Your situation didn't look any better flipped on its head. Flipped on your head, rather. Snatched and thrown over a bulky shoulder, high– higher than even your standing position. It was discomfiting; it was terrifying. Blood rushed to your face not only in fury but also in shame as your skirts fluttered in the breeze.

He noticed, too. His greedy fingers dug into your thighs, skimming down like he was soothing a skittish horse. But you felt the way he lingered. The way he chuffed and squeezed tighter when you kicked out with all the strength of a skittish colt.

Your fists pounded uselessly against heavy splint-mail, hands-catching on rough nodules and spikes that didn't quite register as pain. Not to your panic-stricken mind, thoughts flying off in the wind behind you as the beast carried you off.

But the smack registered.

Perhaps it was the sound, the harsh slap of flesh on flesh. Whipping crack, like the snapping of a great branch. The precursor to an eerie stillness, violence begetting obmutescence. And it worked–

–for a second. For the time it took for your stinging nerves to catch up with your racing mind. Then you howled. Kicked and clawed and hissed like a feral cat as tears welled in your lash-line.

"How dare you–"

"Quit yer fashin'. Ye'll bring the whole kingsguard down this way–"

"–good–"

"–and then I'll have tae kill them all," That had your attention, legs tense under the heavy band of his bicep. "Dinnae much feel like sharin' ye around."

"Oh, you beast! You foul, vile, disgusting–" Your voice was high, words scratching as they hitched out of your aching throat.

It hurt to speak, vocal cords already shredded from the way you'd screamed when he'd first ransacked your village. Coughing on heavy, acrid smoke and crying futile warnings about the Black Knight and his monster-in-arms ('Quiet, girl. Viper-tonged harlot, slither off and for gods' sake, quiet!') . But it hurt more to be silent. You flung insults like broken arrows, hoping that they would somehow land. That they would hit, fortuitously, and pierce the thick-hide of this brute. But hope is vain, and the fancies of men make gods laugh.

You landed hard on something soft.

Ego almost as bruised as your knees, you kept your eyes low. Sweeping. Marshy, wet silt. Topsoil sluiced off, only mud and clay and reeds to your right. A cheerfully babbling brook just beyond, water murky and discoloured with backwash from– the water flowed past the estuary of the village so it must be– no–

The realisation was caustic. Mordant. Burning at you like the scorched air in your lungs.

"You're a monster," you spat the words, mouth watering in your haste to let ichor drip forth and blacken him as much as the foul, brackish water ahead.

"Noticed that, did ye," he laughed, words glancing off like feeble blows. "Best not tae piss me off, then. Stay there and behave yersel'. Company's comin'."

Glancing up at him was like a blow to the stomach, wind punched out and body shaking. You already knew that he was big, inhuman. But now you could see every inch; monstrous, twisted mockery of natural features. Like a man formed of rock, too immense and hard and jagged to pass for anything but artificial. Counterfeit. Contranatural. Creation's bastard. All tusks and teeth and shorn hair. Hair everywhere, even down his bare, bulging forearms and thick knuckles. Coarse, dark.

His eerie, bright blue eyes blazed around black, pupils wild and blown. It could be the thrill, cruel playfulness of an apex predator. Berserker-wide, coming down from the kill–

But he'd been carrying you for a while, bloodlust long-since sated on the men and manse of your homeland.

You shivered, sweat and cold mingling in a discomfiting damp that raised the hairs on your arms. (The hairs on the back of your neck were already needle-stiff and prickling).

You pocketed a stone, a big jagged filthy shard. One you hoped could bruise and slash and poison, turn wounds weeping and sick.

Now that you were silent, he seemed especially strident, swaggering around the barebones of what you supposed must be a dwelling. You felt the slight whistling of air from the cave behind, cavernous and black. If you had to run, to hide, you'd take your chances with the forest and river ahead. To be lost in the appetites of the mountain abyss would spell death as surely as at the hands of this creature.

You watched him, cocksure and comfortable as he shucked off his warhammer and began unbuckling his braces. If you could read the snarl of his crooked teeth, you'd perhaps say he was in high spirits. He sent you a wink as he shrugged off his splint-mail, gravelly laugh echoing in the cavern behind.

It disguised the approach of your visitor.

"Grabbed the wrong one, Johnny," you shrieked as something grabbed your forearm, hauling you up. Looking down you saw the muted sheen of a spiked gauntlet. Black patina, flaked in iron rust. You swallowed hard, lump in your throat so big that it caught any words that might try to escape. Him. The Black Knight. The Liar. 

"Ye said to grab the pretty one by the fancy house."

"She's not the magistrate's daughter. No ransom for her." He spun you around, metal biting hard into your chin as he arched your face towards his.

Cloaked in ink-black helm and visor, you could just about peer in to meet his gaze. He looked back with cold, assessing eyes. The voice that rumbled forth was as harsh and breccial as you remembered, words rending you apart with serrated precision: "Not worth a rescue mission."

He released your chin with a final shake of your head, huffing amusement as you rubbed at the thin scratches he left behind.

It was hard to breathe now, stomach swirling and head-light. Even if you could will yourself, it wouldn’t help. There was already a faint coppery smell leeching from the Knight; your heart recognised it even if you would not give name to it. It sped up, fast enough to rush past your ears with discordant force. 

You didn’t feel the other one step up behind you, not until it was too late. There, trapped between man and monster (man the monster), tight enough that you couldn't even shiver. You felt the power of the creature even more now without the armour, all muscle and fat, sheer power close enough to sink your fingers into. But you couldn't move, your shallow breaths already catching in your throat into soft, hitching whines. 

"Shh, it's alright, bonnie," Rough, clumsy fingers swiped under your eyes. You felt him crouch lower, stubbly hair and tusks digging into your powder-soft cheek. "Looks like we're gonnae have tae keep you, then."

------------

[ciancy-an]

Just come and scam me as much as you want you two handsome (unlucky) bastards.

[karlachian]

okay well picture this you are 24 years old. already crazy but stick with me. not only are you 24 years old you have spent the last 7 years of your life just like #folkheroing your way across the wilds. you got that rapier swag etc. anyways you are also a horrible little ball of guilt stuffed into an approximation of a man (again you are 24 years old and also secretly a warlock). anyways then you get kidnapped by mindflayers and tadpoled (normal weekend) also your body changes irreversibly in a way that you cannot control due to your truly horrid patron because you refuse to kill like an innocent woman (BAD weekend). now. you are a monster hunter and one of the people in your new gaggle of tentative allies is like so clearly and obviously a vampire. evil little cunt too. but you're like no he's charming and has nice hair (you are the only person who holds this opinion because you see the vision in ways never seen before). then he fucking BITES you. you're like um. girl. why would you want me to kill you. and he's like NO i have TRAUMA. and then you listen and he DOES have trauma. 200 years of it and it's INSANE. now of course you are a sweet man and you are gentle and kind and patient and a) do not kill him and b) when he tries to use seduction technologies to get your ass you fairytale prince him into a courtship. he's like i actually wanted to scam you bigstyle but you're actually good to me also i kind of want you for real. what do we do now. and you're like haha yessss romanceeeeeee. he complains about everything but dances with you anyways it's very sweet. this whole time you are ignoring your insane self-worth and general care for own wellbeing issues until again this classically cunty looking vampire is like "ummmm you are being a bit of a little bitch also i like you so stop being a little bitch". you help him kill his fucking horrid bastard of a vampire lord and keep him from continuing the cycle of abuse. he "and he SAID NO PICKLES" you out of your warlock pact. you have sex on his GRAVE. you propose MARRIAGE. HE SAYS YES. he hates your negligent father with self-expression issues so much and WILL be making his life hell. oh yeah you're the grand duke's son you can be grand duke now (despite that being an elected position?). this whole time once again you are. 24 years old. that's what it's like to be wyll ravengard on an astarion origin wyllstarion run. ruminate with me in this space tonight.

[rose24207]

Make them pay

Summary: When your favorite café is shattered by violence and your friend needs help, you turns to your mafia husband, Lando Norris, to bring justice and restore peace to those you hold dear.

Genre: Mafia!Lando, angst, fluff

TW: Mafia, violence, fraud, threats, mention of weapons

A/N: I watched the first episode of bloodhounds and knew what I needed to do! Let me know what you think! English is not my first language. I hope you enjoy it though! Requests are open and welcome!

Masterlist

The brisk winter air nipped at your cheeks as you walked down the familiar cobblestone path toward La Petite Rose. A smile tugged at your lips despite the chill. The café had always been your escape, a pocket of warmth and comfort amidst the chaos of life.

As you neared the shop, however, a strange unease settled in your chest. Something felt... wrong. The faint scent of coffee that usually wafted through the air was replaced by the acrid tang of something burnt.

You quickened your pace, rounding the corner—then froze.

The sight before you was devastating.

The café’s large front window was shattered, jagged glass glittering like cruel shards of ice against the pavement. Chairs and tables lay overturned, some broken. A dark smear of blood streaked the stone steps leading to the entrance.

"Marie!" you cried, your voice sharp with panic.

You pushed open the door, the bell above it hanging crooked and silent. Inside, the destruction was even worse. The once-cozy space was now a warzone.

And then you saw her.

Marie was slumped against the counter, her apron stained with blood. A nasty gash above her eyebrow leaked crimson down her pale face. She clutched a trembling hand to her forehead, her eyes glazed with shock and tears.

"Marie!" You rushed to her side, dropping to your knees. Your hands hovered over her, unsure of where to begin. "What happened? Are you alright?"

Her lips quivered as she tried to speak. "They... they came... demanding the money. I told them I didn’t have it yet, and they..." Her voice broke into a sob. "They destroyed everything."

Rage boiled within you, hot and unrelenting. How dare they? Marie was the kindest, sweetest person you knew, and these monsters had terrorized her—hurt her—for what?

"Who did this?" you demanded, your tone low and trembling with fury.

Marie shook her head, clutching your arm as though grounding herself. "I don’t know their names. They said they were from the company I owe. They... they said if I didn’t pay by the end of the week, they’d do worse."

You clenched your fists, the fury bubbling over. "I’ll fix this, Marie. I swear to you, they won’t get away with this."

The drive home was a blur, your mind racing as your hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. By the time you arrived at the sprawling estate you shared with your husband, you were vibrating with barely-contained anger.

Lando was in the study, his tie loosened and a glass of whiskey in his hand. He looked up when you stormed in, his brow furrowing.

"Darling, what’s wrong?" he asked, setting the glass down.

You didn’t waste a second, pacing the room as you recounted everything you’d seen at the café—the broken glass, the overturned tables, the blood on Marie’s face. Your voice shook with emotion, switching between fury and anguish.

"She’s my friend, Lando," you said, your eyes glistening with unshed tears. "She’s the sweetest person, and those bastards attacked her like she’s nothing. They destroyed her café. Her dream. And for what? Money she doesn’t even have because she was scammed!"

Lando rose from his seat, his expression darkening with each word. When you finished, he stepped closer, placing his hands on your shoulders. "And you want me to deal with it," he said, his voice calm but cold.

"I don’t want you to deal with it," you snapped, glaring up at him. "I need you to. You have the power, Lando. I know you can make this right."

His green eyes bore into yours, searching. You held his gaze, your own fierce and unwavering.

"You’re furious," he murmured, almost admiringly. "It suits you."

"Don’t patronize me," you said, your tone sharp but not unkind. "Marie needs our help. I’m asking you, as your wife, to do something about this."

Lando’s lips quirked into a small, amused smile. "As my wife, huh? Throwing the titles around now?"

You narrowed your eyes. "Lando."

"Alright, alright," he relented, holding up his hands. His expression turned serious. "I’ll take care of it. But you know this won’t be pretty."

"I don’t care," you said firmly. "They deserve whatever’s coming to them."

Later that night, you couldn’t sleep. Images of the shattered café and Marie’s wounded face haunted you, fueling your anger. Lando, however, seemed unbothered, lounging in bed with his phone.

"Are you really going to help her?" you asked, breaking the silence.

He glanced at you, his brow arching. "You doubt me?"

"No," you admitted softly. "But this is important, Lando. Promise me you’ll make them pay."

He set his phone down and turned to you, his hand brushing a strand of hair from your face. "I’ll do more than make them pay," he said, his voice a low murmur. "I’ll make sure they never bother her—or anyone else—again."

You nodded, leaning into his touch. Despite everything, you trusted him. Lando might be a criminal, but he was also your husband. And when he made a promise, he kept it.

Two days later, the storm you had unleashed began to brew.

Lando had sent his men to gather information, and it didn’t take long for them to uncover the truth. The scam company was a front for a rival crime syndicate, one that had been encroaching on Lando’s territory.

"They’ve been playing dirty," Lando told you during breakfast, his tone casual despite the gravity of the situation. "Using small businesses as leverage to launder money."

"And Marie?" you asked, gripping your coffee mug tightly.

"She was just an easy target," he said. "But they made a mistake going after her. Now, they’re on my radar."

The confrontation took place in a dingy warehouse on the outskirts of town. Lando’s men had lured the scammers there under the guise of a business meeting. The rival syndicate’s leader strutted in, flanked by his own guards.

The tension in the air was palpable as Lando stepped forward, his presence commanding the room.

"You’ve been busy," Lando said, his tone deceptively calm. "Scamming innocent people, threatening them... destroying their lives."

The other man sneered. "Business is business, Norris. Don’t act like you’re any different."

Lando’s smile was cold, almost predatory. "The difference is, I don’t target the defenseless. And I certainly don’t touch what’s mine."

Before the rival leader could respond, Lando’s men moved. The sound of guns cocking filled the room, and within seconds, the enemy guards were disarmed and subdued.

You watched as Lando stepped closer to the rival leader, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "You made a mistake targeting my wife’s friend. And now, you’re going to pay for it."

The man paled, his bravado crumbling. "I-I didn’t know—"

"Now you do," Lando interrupted, his tone icy.

What followed was swift and brutal. Lando’s men dismantled the rival operation, ensuring they wouldn’t recover. By the end of the night, the scammers were dealt with, and Marie’s debt was erased.

When you visited La Petite Rose the next morning, the café was already under repair. Lando had hired a crew to fix the damage, and Marie’s face lit up when she saw you.

"Mon Dieu," she breathed, rushing to hug you. "I don’t know how, but... they called this morning. They said the debt is gone!"

You smiled, hugging her tightly. "I told you I’d fix it."

Tears filled her eyes as she pulled back. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

You brushed a tear from her cheek, your heart swelling with relief. "You don’t have to thank me. Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself, okay?"

Marie nodded, her smile returning. For the first time in days, you felt at peace.

As you left the café, you glanced at your phone, where a text from Lando awaited.

"Handled, as promised. Dinner tonight?"

You smiled, typing back a quick response.

"Always. Love you."

Thank you for reading!