#this background was a BEAR holy shit
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pdalicedraws · 1 year ago
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I guess this would be the end of a chapter, if I was doing chapters.
[first] [previous] [next]
[index]
(And I hope those of you who celebrate Christmas had a lovely one!)
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lazywitchling · 2 years ago
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Yo I just downloaded this thing and hammered out 3000 words????? Which is more than I've written in years????????
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Seen a couple posts on the dashboard lately about writing with ADHD. So, for the ADHD and neurodivergent folks who like writing but struggle sometimes… check out StimuWrite.
You can set it to make little sounds as you type (or leave them off), and emojis pop up in the corner. You can change the background, dark and light themes, set your word goal, and it gives you a percentage and total word count at the bottom. Though it’s more meant for getting a draft written up, so it doesn’t have spell check or anything like that. You’re meant to just copy and past what you write here into Google Docs or Word or Scrivener or whatever else you use and go from there. Honestly love it when I’m struggling to get words down, though. And apparently there’s an update now for StimuWrite 2?👀
Anyways, give it a try if it looks like it may help. It’s currently name-your-own-price.
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queers-gambit · 1 year ago
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Opening Night and Open Hearts
prompt: opening night - a mother's fear, a locked walk-in freezer, confessions through a thick metal door, questioning what's deserved, and a proposal at The Bear after hours.
pairing: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto x female!reader
fandom masterlist: FX's The Bear
word count: 9.8k+
note: i think i give enough background for you guys to feel as if you don't need to read any other relating works, but i linked the fics that could be read as a small series (maybe?) also let author be lonely in peace
warnings: reader nicknamed Peach, established relationship, cursing, spoilers, fluff, angst, relationship angst, hurt and comfort, Carmy still (desperately) needs a nap, depiction of physical illness, boys are dumb and emotions are hard, reader-insert, depiction of toxic family, OC Carmy that grovels a lot, not edited!
⚠️ season two, episode ten spoilers
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not necessary to read, but other relating works with Peach:
Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant
God's Plan part two: Two to Tango
Neon Sticky Notes
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"Hi, yes, I can hear you - sorry about that, I was just making note of your reservation," you spoke smoothly into the phone, trying not to ogle your boyfriend wrapped in only a clean blue towel. "So, that's a party of four for Monsieur Claude Badeaux - all right, that's so lovely. I'm obligated to remind everyone that tonight's opening is a fine dining experience and the proper, corresponding dress code is being asked for. Are there any allergies I should make note of for your party?"
"Jean Paul has a tree nut allergy," you were told.
"All right, that's noted and highlighted: Jean Paul has a tree nut allergy. If there's anything else I could help you with?"
"Non," he chuckled. "I was surprised to see your invitation to this evening, though, mon cher. It's been so long, yes?"
"Well, it was my pleasure to extend the offer, we're ecstatic by your reservation," you chuckled. "We'll see you tonight, Monsieur, and should you need anything before then, you may call this number again."
You said your parting words in French, smiling at Carmy when you hung up and dropped your work phone. "Did I hear that correct?" Your lover asked with a broad grin, "Was that...?"
"Senior marketing advisor at The Washington Post?" You filled in for him. "Uh, yeah, I think it was, but you know me - I could be wrong."
"You invited someone from The Washington Post to the opening tonight?"
"Is that okay?" You asked, standing from the bed after making note in your datebook. "You look kinda - I don't know, shocked?"
"I-I am," he blinked at you, watching you gather his pristine clothing to hang on the closet door. "But in a good way - I can't believe you did this," he chuckled, wiping his mouth. "I mean - holy shit, Peaches."
You offered a toothy grin, "Figured I could pull a few of my own strings to help get the word out about your love-child."
This made Carmy snicker, "Hey, now. Tonight's important, don't make fun."
"I know," you nodded, leading him back into the bathroom to view your hair products. "Which is why I invited some important people and some not-so important people. I know this is serious, Carmy," you smiled at him, hoping to convey your support, "and I wanted to help in whatever way I could."
"You being there tonight is more than I could ask for," he chuckled, helping you onto the small bathroom counter. You squirted a bit of hair product in your hand, watching him flinch back a little, "Uh, I just don't want my hair greasy, Peach, you know? Not a good look and I'll sweat it out in the kitchen."
"I feel like I should be offended by you having no trust in me," you teased, insisting, "I know whatcha need, baby, lemme help."
Carmy smiled softly and held still, letting you run your hands through his curls to push everything back and away from his forehead in a stylish but manageable "do". There was a silent, serene moment as you and Carmy just existed together in a mundane space, his big, sad eyes watching your face as you worked. He wondered, "Think tonight's gonna be okay?"
"I think tonight's gonna be more than okay," you assured softly. "I think tonight's gonna go better than you're anticipating."
He sighed and planted his hands on either side of you, suddenly dropping his gaze. "I, uh... Sugar invited Mom t'tonight..."
"Yeah, I know."
"You know?"
"Sugar and I are still friends outside of us dating, Carmy," you smiled patiently, slowing your hands so you more toyed with his curls; pushing some strands behind his ears. "She needs someone as much as you do and I don't mind."
"But isn't that what Pete's for?"
"Yes, but you know, Pete's Pete."
Carmy snorted, "Yeah, yeah, good point."
"I don't know if she'll show up tonight, Bear, but whether she does or doesn't, it won't matter - you're not doing this for her. This is for you, Carmy, tonight's about The Bear opening - it's about you and this incredible, amazing thing you've done. Okay?" You caressed both his cheeks in your hands so he could only look at you directly. "If she shows, that's great," you whispered with a soft smile as your thumbs swept the apples of his cheeks, "and if she doesn't, it won't make tonight any less special. That, I can promise."
Carmy's forehead met yours, both pausing to breathe together; peace always a fleeting feeling as of late and being something you both capitalized on. You brought him in closer for an embrace, his face burying in your neck as your arms snaked around his to keep him as close as possible. His arms were tight around your waist, legs spread to accommodate him; both needing the feel of being close before that night's inevitable stressful event.
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"Wow, well, don't you look all pretty! Wow, Peach," Pete greeted you when you scurried to the table with your friend in tow. "Oh, hi there!"
"Pete, this is my best friend, Danielle, and Dani, this is Pete, Sugar's husband."
"Hi, it's really nice to meet you," your friend greeted, the two instantly chattering as they both just blew past their introductions to instantly compliment one another's clothes. You smirked, knowing they'd get along famously, and looked around the brand new, packed restaurant.
"Hey, there she is, my pretty girl," Richie greeted smoothly, approaching your standing form to slide his hand around your shoulders.
"Hi, Cousin," you beamed, offering him a hug in greeting. "The place looks fantastic - it's so - I mean - just wow, Richie," you complimented. "You guys did such an amazing job. I need to tell Fak, too, this is - you guys should be so proud, it looks incredible. Hardly can believe what it was before this."
"It really is something, huh?" He grinned. "Hey, Pete," he nodded.
"Hey, Richie."
"And you must be the famous, the fabulous Miss Danielle?"
"That's me," your friend grinned. "You're Richie, right? Carmy's cousin who's not really a cousin but is as good as blood?"
"Yes, ma'am, the very same," he nodded with pride. "We've some drinks coming your way in just a moment, but I need to borrow Peach for just one second."
"Why do they call her Peach?" Dani asked, but Richie was leading you away as Pete was heard answering,
"Oh, because she mastered this peach cobbler with Carmy's mom, Donna, and she started the nickname..."
"What's wrong?" You asked softly with a smile as to not give the illusion to others that you were worried. "What can I do to help?"
"No, no, nothing too bad, you were just requested by the Frenchie-French guy."
"Oh, right, that's right, yeah, I can help with that," you sighed gently, smiling as you approached the table. Greeting the two men and women was easy, Richie impressed by your connections in the professional world. Tonight, The Washington Post didn't just dine with them - no, it was also the director of social media for three luxury, designer brands: Jean-Paul.
Yes, the man was so elusive that he just went by Jean-Paul. Fuck a last name!
Either way, it impressed Richie to hear the introductions. The two women were executives in their own companies, names Richie didn't catch because he was busy taking note of the way Mr. Frenchie-French was basically eye fucking you in front of them all.
"Well," Richie smiled stiffly, "tonight's incredibly special for us. In fact, uh, Y/N's boyfriend is the owner and head chef."
"Really?" Frenchie-French perked his brows, shifting his gaze over to you. "You always had a soft spots for chefs, non? For those who were versed in the culinary arts?"
"Well, mostly I appreciated a man in the kitchen simply because I burn water and would probably unintentionally starve myself," you teased easily, deflecting the man's subtle dig. "I'm actually here with family tonight, so, please, ladies and gentlemen, enjoy tonight - I know I'm biased when I say the food is exceptional, but I look forward to your own opinions."
"We will talk later, mon cher, I am sure there will be plenty to discuss," the Frenchman promised, kissing the back of your hand as you let Richie lead you away by your free hand.
You released a long sigh, muttering, "Bring them a bottle of real champagne, please, Richie, I had a few bottles imported just for them. Listen closely," you lowered your voice as you both paused on the side of the dining room, "bring them a bowl of thin sliced strawberries sprinkled in sugar and pop the cork at their table - it's impressive for whatever reason."
Richie pecked your temple and gave you a tight squeeze, "I got it all covered, girly. You all right? Look like you're gonna be sick?"
"Just men being men grosses me out, I guess," you sighed with a small shrug. "He's always had a thing for me, I figured I'd use that to get him here tonight - Carmy's work speaks for itself, but maybe he'd be inclined to publish an article or two for us if I play nice."
Richie paused you a few feet from your table, complimenting, "I hope Carmy knows he doesn't deserve you, Peach."
"You said years ago neither of us did," you smirked gently. "Said I wasn't relationship material, right? Remember?"
"I was wrong," he nodded. "I even said y'all would never be serious, but..." He scoffed to himself, "I've never seen that boy so crazy about anyone in his life. You've really changed him, Peach. I don't really know how to thank you."
"You can start by buttering up those flirty Frenchmen," you teased, giving his cheek a peck.
"On it," he winked, parting from your side.
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Inside the kitchen some twenty minutes later, Richie approached Carmy, directing his attention, "Cousin?"
"Yo."
"Peach is on 17 with Pete."
"Okay."
"Go say hi."
"Yeah, eventually," Carmy nodded absently, never halting his work.
"Eventually?" Richie repeated with distain, something in his stomach twisting.
"Where the fuck is Josh!?" Carmy called into the kitchen, another chef echoing his concerns.
"Yo!" Richie barked as calmly as he could, "Just go say hi to your girl, Cousin."
"Yo, I'll go when I have a minute," Carmy deflected strongly. "I'm in the fuckin' shit, leave me the fuck alone."
"What? I'm saying - "
"I'll get there when I can get there!"
"I'm saying!"
"What?" Carmy barked.
"She's got important fucking people in that dining room, man," Richie scoffed, hands held up in defense. "Just for your ungrateful ass! Maybe the least you can do is go say fuckin' hi - even if you're fuckin' busy. She knows that, it'd be a nice gesture - or whatever fuckin' shit - I don't know! She's your girl!"
"Yeah! Exactly!" Carmy barked. "She's my fuckin' girl, she knows the fuckin' drill, I'll go say fuckin' hi when I get the fuckin' chance, Richie! Fuck's sake! Always tryna meddle and shit!"
"Jesus, fuck," Richie sighed, turning out of the kitchen with his hands waving Carmy off in defeat.
You were none the wiser, entertained by Pete and Dani's gabbing as Sugar was in-and-out, dealing with all the little things going wrong. These little things came to her in the form of notes left at the table subtly for her to go solve, you wanting to help but being shot down every time. Eventually, Carmy was approaching your table with a tray of food, shocking you slightly.
"Hey, Peach," He greeted softly, lowering the tray to balance on the table and lean over to kiss your cheek. "You look gorgeous, baby, wow," he complimented in a whisper, offering another quick kiss.
"Thank you, Chef," you smiled brightly, touching his forearm in a sign of affection. "What's all this you've got for us?"
He hummed and explained what he set on the table in front of you guys; eyes alight and cheeks flushed from the heat of the kitchen. He poured whatever sauce came with the main dish, smiling at Dani, nodding to Pete, then looking to you.
"I'll check on you later, all right, baby?" He mumbled, watching you nod. "I gotta get back," he whispered, "but thank you for being here, my pretty girl."
"No where else I'd rather be, Cream," you rushed, letting his lips find yours briefly.
"Stick around after, would you? When we close, just... Don't leave yet."
"Yes, Chef," you whispered against his lips with a grin. He gave one single more kiss before pulling away to stand upright.
"Enjoy," he bid the table before walking away.
"So, like," Dani trailed after making sure Carmy was out of earshot, "when's the wedding? 'Cause that might've been the cutest thing I've seen. I mean, opening night, he's cooking, but paused to come serve us? Serve you? And he's so soft with you, kissin' you, bein' all cute," she pouted dramatically. "I want a reason to wear a maid of honor dress, please."
"Hey, hey, chill on us. There's no wedding," you sighed with a small laugh, trying to play off how the subject made your stomach twist. "We haven't really talked about it, you know? No biggie."
"What?" She sputtered. "Wait, hang on. Y'all have been together - like - a stupid, ridiculous amount of time. The fuck you mean you haven't talked about it? What are y'all doing, just ignoring the elephant in the room?"
You shrugged lightly, "I don't know, we know if we ever got married, it'd be to each other, but that's really it. We know we want to be together, we know we want to marry each other, but there's been no serious conversation about it."
"Uh, does that sound right to you?" Dani asked Pete.
He shook his head as you all took dainty bites of food to savor the flavors (and save Sugar some). "When I knew with Natalie, I didn't hesitate."
"Well, Carmy isn't like you, Pete," you defended. "He's got a lot on his plate, too, you know?"
"You've said that since Mikey," Dani frowned, her voice quiet.
"With good reason, don't you think? Carmy's just - he's just going through a lot right now and it's a challenge, you know?"
"No, it's more like Carmy's got the emotional intelligence of a fucking teaspoon!"
"Hey," you snapped, "that's not his fault, he doesn't know much better, so watch your mouth."
"He does with you, like... He knows better when he's with you, when it comes to you, Peach," Pete offered softly. "Look, maybe Danielle has a point - it is a little weird. I mean, you guys have been together, what? Six, almost seven years? Creeping up on a decade of just dating - that's a long time. And didn't you guys do that weird little half-dating thing for two years before making it official? Don't you think that's enough time to know if you want to marry someone, and then, you know? Actually marry them? Or at least ask them?"
"Sure, maybe to other people, but Carmy and I have never been conventional, so, I don't see why we need to start now."
Danielle scoffed, "Look, God love Carmy and everything, but you're just wasting time now. He needs to either commit or let you find someone who can actually love you like you deserve."
"Oh, and Carmy doesn't?"
"Wasn't all that long ago that you two took a break 'cause he called you clingy - and some other unsavory terms," Danielle shrugged. "Doesn't really sound like someone who loves you unconditionally - the way you should be loved."
You sighed and sat back in your chair, "I appreciate the insight, but Carm and I are fine. Okay? We've got years under our belts, we don't want to fuck up what obviously works for us so chill out on the questions, okay? I don't have answers to them."
Danielle and Pete shared a look before the man got up to excuse himself to the restroom. You and Dani finished your meals before sipping your wine, waiting for Pete, but Dani sighed, "This lady's been staring in here for, like, ten minutes already. It's freezing, doesn't she want to come in?"
"Hmm? What're you - ?"
"This lady on the street," your friend pointed over her shoulder towards the window her back was now turned to.
When you peaked out, you gasped lightly when you saw Donna Berzatto smoking a cigarette. "Oh, shit!" You stood from your seat, rushing, "Okay, so, uh, yeah - just - can you just sit here for a second? I have to go handle that."
"Who is it?" Dani wondered earnestly.
"I got it, Peach," Pete told you, passing by the table swiftly with a hand patting your shoulder to keep you at your table.
"What the hell's happening?" Dani asked. "Who is that?"
"Nothing, no one, it's okay, I think that's someone we know, just, uh, hang on a second? We'll be right back."
"Sure," she nodded in confusion, watching you get from your seat and follow Pete out the door onto the blistering cold sidewalk.
"Hey, Mama Donna," you greeted happily, arms crossing over your chest to protect from the wind. "Have you been inside yet? We saved you a seat and all, but isn't this - just wow?" You grinned, trying to encourage her to say anything about her children's hard work.
"Oh, no, no, not you, too, Peach, why are you here?" She groaned lightly, looking upset and close to tears.
"I'm here 'cause of Carmy? I-It's opening night, yeah?" You offered in confusion. "Why? What's wrong, Mama D?" You worried, glancing at an emotional Pete.
"No, it's just, I can't come in, I can't, just no," she backed away, only now making you notice the way Pete cried. "I'm so sorry, Peach, honey, but I was never here. Okay? I-I'll call them later, I swear, I promise, I'll call them - but I-I-I wasn't here. Okay? You can't tell them I was here. I'm so sorry."
"Donna, don't do this," you begged, head shaking. "Don't, please. Just come in with Pete and I - just sit there for a bit. Just come in and see what your kids have done - Donna, it's so beautiful. You'd be so proud, but you should really see it for yourself - "
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I can't, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, not tonight, no, I'm sorry, I can't," she deflected in a rambling mumble, turning and hustling down the sidewalk with her head shaking like a Etch-A-Sketch.
You rounded on Pete, "What the hell was that? Pete, what just happened?"
"Um, I-I don't - I didn't mean to."
"Pete? What didn't you mean?"
"She didn't tell her mom about the baby," he rushed, tears falling. "Nat didn't tell Donna, Peach, and I think I just did - I think I just fucked up and told her."
"Oh, no... No, Pete, you didn't."
"I didn't mean to! I swear it was an accident!"
"No, I know you didn't mean to, honey," you rushed, opening your arms to bring him in for a tight hug. "Oh, you poor boy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Pete."
He sighed, "I'm sorry, too, Peach."
"For what?"
"That... We fell in love with Berzattos and this is our new normal now, right?" He sniffled.
You half-smiled, "Yeah, something like that. But it's okay. See, where Donna's afraid to give her love, neither of us are. Sugar and Carm deserve that from us, right? To be authentic and just love them?"
He nodded, "Yeah, you're right."
"And that's all we gotta do... Is love them, Pete."
"God knows where else they'd get it," he huffed, wiping his face. "Hey, um, I'll be in, in a second - I just need a minute alone, I think, in the cold."
"Take all the time you need," you agreed.
"We're not - we're not telling them about this, right?"
You sighed, "No, I don't think so - at least right now. It might hurt them more, you know? To know Donna was here, but never came in. That she ran away... Again. It'll hurt, they deserve to be happy about tonight."
Pete nodded rapidly, looking like he was gonna burst into tears. Instead of going back inside, you just moved to Pete's side and stood there; producing a cigarette, lighting it, offering Pete a drag that he turned down, and the both of you just standing silently; one smoking, one crying, both processing.
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"Wow, look at these gorgeous ladies! By far the baddest in the whole place! Yeah, man!" Fak teased as he approached you and Danielle after closing the The Bear officially. "What a privilege to have you both dine with us this evening! Ugh, truly an honor to see you both here," he praised comically, evening giving a small bow that his brother mimicked.
Your eyes rolled, "You're laying it on really thick when I already tipped you." He snickered with Theo. "Hey, seriously, though, tonight was incredible. I mean, it was all so beautiful, you should all be so proud."
"Oh, we are," Neil giggled, his brother hanging off his shoulders.
"Good," you teased. "Uh, is now an okay time to go back and see him? Kinda wanna offer my compliments to the chef directly, you know?"
"No," Fak answered instantly, "uh, well, probably not the best time."
"Yeah, probably not," Theodore echoed.
"I can sense you two ramping up to something," you sighed, "so, I'm gonna ask you skip all that and tell me what's wrong. Why can't I go see my boyfriend? He just had an incredibly successful opening night, I kinda wanna kiss him if you don't mind."
"Um, well, h-he didn't want you to worry, so, he said not t'tell you, but, uh... Yeah, no, Carmy's, like, locked in the walk-in freezer. Han Solo style."
"What?"
"Locked in the walk-in," Fak nodded rapidly, "yeah, no, the handle - like, the whole handle came off. He's locked in, Peach..."
"Oh, my fucking God," you breathed. "Are you saying he - he missed opening night? Neil!"
"Yeah, kinda... Well, sorta - I mean, technically, but - "
"Oh, Jesus," you breezed past them all.
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"Mmm-mmm, the fridge guy's name is Terry," Tina corrected Carmy, flinching a little when he slapped the other side of the metal door he was locked behind.
"See, th-tha-that's what I'm talking about!" Carmy raged. "I'm so fucking distracted, and for what? For fucking what? 'Cause of a girl?" He chuckled ruefully to himself.
"Nuh-uh, don't do that, Carmy," Tina scolded. "That's not no girl, that's your girl, that's Peach - you don't lash out at her, baby."
"Yo, maybe - maybe I'm just not built for this. Right? Maybe that's okay! Maybe that just is. She'd be better off, Tina... I'm just - I'm not built for this."
But what Carmy didn't hear was Sydney asking Tina to cover her at the front because she needed to step out the back, get some air; Tina accepting and telling Carm to hang on a moment. Something he missed. While Tina took Syd's spot, Syd rushed outside, and you slipped in the kitchen door; Carmy being surrounded by shitty ripped tape and an entire side full of the flowers he had brought in for tonight - for you. It was a haunting reminder; something suffocating.
When you got to the walk-in, you were prepared to call out for Carmy, but he started speaking from within, halting any word on your tongue.
"I wasn't here b-because I was looking a-a-at fucking engagement rings when the fridge guy fuckin' called," Carmy ranted, your heart stalling in your chest. "Right? Like, what the fuck was I thinking? Like I was gonna get married? Commit to this relationship? Be h-her fucking husband or some shit? Have a fucking wife? I'm a fucking - I'm a fuckin' psycho!" He laughed a little, the tears springing to your eyes as his words disarmed your heart and emotional dam. "That's why! That's why I'm good at what I do! That's how I operate! I am the best because I didn't have any of this fuckin' bullshit, right? I could - I could focus and I could concentrate and I had a routine and I - and I had fuckin' cell reception, and Peach and I just had our own routine! We didn't need this extra bullshit, and now..."
You just listened, leaning on the freezer's door, tears silently leaking down your cheeks as you had the horrendous realization that you were what now slowed Carmy down. You were what currently stood in his way, when this whole time, you thought you were helping; making things easier; supporting him. No... No, his words rattled your heart to accept that you were now the bane; the object of his ire. You and your relationship was what was wrong and was causing Carmy hurt and professional complications.
Something you never wanted to contribute towards. You both always said if this relationship got to be too hard, you'd walk away. Better to feel anger than resentment; and now, you knew you had to walk away else risk that resentment fester.
Carmy started up again, "I don't need to provide amusement or enjoyment, I don't need to be someone's 'to have and to hold'. I don't need to receive any amusement or enjoyment, nor for someone to have and hold me... And I'm completely fine with that. Because no amount of good is worth how terrible this fucking feels." You were ready to open your mouth, but he finished by nailing the final nail in the coffin of your relationship, "It's just a complete waste of fuckin' time - entertaining what I know I shouldn't. Being in this relationship, trying to give what I don't have, wasting everyone's time."
You took your chance, speaking through your tears, "I'm really sorry you feel that way, Carmen."
"Peach?" Carmy rasped from behind the door, sounding more alert than he had before. "Baby? Hey, hey, Peaches? That you? Peach - hey. Hey," he sounded desperate as you backed away from the door, a fist pounding into the metal, "hey, no, Y/N? Y/N!" The seriousness settled over you both, Carmen understanding you heard a lot more than ever intended and once those words are out there, there's no getting them back. "Y/N, baby? Hey, no, no, Y/N - listen to me - hey, no, no! I-I didn't know you were there, baby, okay? No, Y/N, please - tell me you're there now, let me explain." He paused. "Let me explain! Please! C'mon, baby, please, let me fucking explain - tell me you're still there! Y/N? Y/N!"
You sniffled and walked away, feeling smaller than you ever had in your life. You barely noticed when the kitchen door opened, not until a figured dressed in black stopped you. "Peach? Hey, hey," Richie halted you - taking note of the tears. "What's wrong? What happened? Are you okay - who fuckin' did it?"
You just stared at Richie for a long moment, opening your mouth twice before sighing and smiling sadly. "I never wanted to be what got in his way," you whispered sadly. "I'm sorry, Richie."
"Peaches, hey, what's - "
But you reached up to kiss his cheek, "Tonight was so beautiful, Cousin, and I'm so fucking proud of you all. Thank you for everything - not just tonight, Richie, but everything you do." You smiled again, whispering, "Take care of him. Okay? He'll need you."
"What're you talking about? What's going on? Where are you going? Hey, where are you going, Peach, please?"
"Have a good night, Richie, I love you," you whispered, leaving out the kitchen door as quickly as you could. "Hey," you sniffled, approaching Dani with the Fak Brothers, "can we go now, please?"
"Are you okay?" Dani worried in shock.
"I'd really like to go, Dani, please," you rushed, throwing your coat on and smiling at the Brothers as if your heart wasn't in pieces. "Thanks again for tonight, you guys, it was magical."
"Peach? Wait, hey, are you okay, baby? What just happened?" Neil worried, watching you snatch Dani's hand, but pause when screaming was heard from the kitchen. Everyone stared at the door, Neil muttering, "The fuck are they...?"
"Now, Dani, please," you whimpered to your friend, who wasted no time in escorting you out of The Bear. The moment you were outside, you burst into sobs, Dani grunting a little as she lead you down a side alley to lean you on a brick wall and beg you to breathe normally.
"What the hell just happened? Hey, honey, you need to breathe," she smoothed hair off your face - but it was like you were drowning in the air with the way you gasped and gaped and panted and whimpered and choked yourself.
"I-I-I-I think - I think w-we're done, I think we're done, I think - oh, fuck - I think we just broke up," you sobbed, hands on your knees. "Oh, my God, Dani," you whimpered, "I-I think - I think we're done, Danielle, oh, my fucking God. I-I heard things tonight that I just - I can't not know, anymore! He said - fuck! He was just so candid, he didn't know I was there so h-he was sayin' things I have t-to now confront - and I really didn't fucking want to! He just - he doesn't want to really marry me, D, and-and-and he was apparently looking a-a-a-at rings - fucking engagement rings! But then he said that w-was the issue - he missed the fridge guy's call 'cause he was looking at fucking rings for me and this is why he missed opening night - 'cause the fucking fridge broke! Oh, my God, Danielle, i-i-it's my fault, it's my fucking fault, he missed the most important night of his life and it's my fault - "
You were cut off by your stomach lurching, emptying your insides onto the pavement. The delicious appetizer, the tantalizing main course, Marcus' fresh baked bread that was delightfully soft on the inside yet baked crisp on the outside, and every bit of the sweetened dessert - all wasted on Chicago bricks.
"Okay, okay, ah, shit, just get it out, babe, there you go," Danielle held your hair, catching you in a suffocating hug once you were done puking. "I've got you, babe, I've got you. You're okay, no, hey, this isn't your fault. I've got you, come on. I think we need pints of ice cream and the saltiest pretzels we can find," she pushed some hair from your sticky forehead, pouting dramatically, "maybe some Pepto? Few Saltines and ginger ale? C'mon, we're going back to mine, there's a good girl," she coaxed you from the ground and away from the wall, "c'mon, you're stronger than this. There's my girl, here we go, just one foot in front of the other - together, with me, just like that."
You sobbed, not knowing that Sydney and her father stood listening just a few feet away behind a set of dumpsters.
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The moment the freezer's door was open and Carmy was free, he was sprinting around the kitchen to grab his coat, leave Neil in charge of closing, and racing out the door as the Fak Brothers yelled at him for hurting your feelings.
"Hey, hey, hey, Chef! Carmy, wait!" Sydney chased him outside.
"No time!"
"Wait! She went with her friend!"
Carmy came to a tripping halt, catching himself before he hit the pavement before whirling around to approach her, "What?"
"Her friend? She was with some girl tonight?"
"Yeah - yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, um, that's - yeah, that's Danielle," Carmy nodded. "Her best friend, yeah, they were here tonight, sitting with Pete and Sugar."
"Listen, Carmy, I heard them when they left the restaurant... Peach was really upset, like, more upset than I've ever heard, saying you two broke up? Or something? She cried so hard, Carm, she actually threw up, it sounded like she was in genuine distress. I-I didn't know if I should've intervened, but her friend was with her and helping."
"Shit - fuck - Goddamnit," he seethed. "All right, thank you - "
"I doubt they went to your place, I think I heard her friend saying they were going to her apartment."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, great, I know where Dani lives, thanks Syd!" Carmy bid, sprinting in the other direction - never bothering with the public bus system, just running into the night. Sydney was left to sigh on the sidewalk, Neil and Theo joining her before Richie followed - all watching Carmy disappear down the sidewalk.
"He's a fucking idiot," Richie shook his head.
"What the hell even happened?" Syd asked.
"Carmy mouthed off in the walk-in, Peach heard it all," Richie supplied. "You know the dumbass was gonna propose tonight?"
"What?" Syd blinked in shock.
"Yeah," Neil tacked on, "we had a whole plan and everything. Candles, soft music, flowers - there's a bunch of flower bouquets in the walk-in."
"I'm sure that was hard for Carm to look at," Syd sympathized.
"Doesn't excuse whatever he said," Richie snapped. "She looked devastated."
"She cried so hard, she threw up in the alley," Syd frowned.
"How do you know?" Neil asked.
"I heard her," the other chef frowned. "My dad and I - we actually both heard her."
"Jesus fuck," Richie seethed.
"I mean... Should we still set up?" Theo wondered to his brother. "What if they kiss and make up, like always? Carmy might still wanna go through with the proposal, right? You know?"
"Maybe," Neil trailed, looking at Richie.
"I don't fucking know," he sighed, hands on his hips.
"She thinks they broke up, I imagine whatever she heard was pretty nasty," Sydney frowned. "Think they'll really make up tonight?"
"Let's hope," Richie sighed. "That fuckin' idiot isn't gonna find anyone better than Peach. Fuck," he looked around the city street. "All right, fuck it, fine, let's fucking set up. Not like the jackass deserves it, but let's do it for Peach."
Neil and his brother grinned at each other, turning to hustle back into The Bear - leaving Sydney and Richie on the street. No words were exchanged, just silent shakes of their heads before they followed the Faks with the intention to help set up for a proposal nobody even knew if would still happen.
The cold night burned Carmy's lungs, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of suffocation he felt earlier when listening to one of your voicemails while trapped.
Your words were sweet as pie, as they usually were; a voicemail left when you were still at work, but feeling so excited to see him that night that you just had to call him. You reminded him of the adoration and love you held for him, relaying how proud you felt - and that you knew Mikey would be, too. You were always doing that, reassuring Carmy; and maybe that's why he felt so freaked out, he wasn't used to it. Even after almost 7 years together, he just wasn't used to what he didn't know he deserved.
Because Carmy didn't think he deserved anything remotely close to love, understanding, compassion, patience, and / or reassurance.
He had sobbed out loud as he locked his phone, not having the heart to delete your message. He often never did - he liked listening to your voice on long, hard nights; it brought him peace when the world felt too loud. He also kept whatever little notes you left for him, even going as far as to get a few of your hand-drawn hearts tattooed on his forearm. One for each anniversary you've shared together. He realized he never wanted to be without you and all his doubts and fear was him projecting his own incompetence towards this relationship; so, he locked his phone, he didn't delete your message.
The moment the fridge door had been opened, Carmy was out of there, shot off like a Roman Candle - your words of love and understanding still ringing in his ears as he was freed. He needed to apologize, and he needed to apologize right fucking now.
The whole run to Danielle's apartment, Carmy wasn't sure what to say to you; mulling over different ideas in his head. He tried to plan his speech, but the only thing he could think of was how much he loved you and that the ring in his pocket weighed a hundred pounds.
He pounded at Danielle's door. Carmy paced slightly as he waited, knocking frantically, and surely waking the neighbors - but that didn't matter. All that mattered was talking to you, something he was desperate to accomplish. When the door opened, your friend offered a stale look and shook her head, "Nope."
"Dani, please," he halted the closing door, "it's all a misunderstanding, I swear to God, please, just - let me try to fix this. Please, okay? I-I need her - I fucking need her and I have to fix this 'cause she's all that matters, okay? So, let me talk to her - please. Please, Danielle!"
"Yeah? The only thing?"
"More than anyone, more than anything - more than The fucking Bear, I swear to fucking God, Danielle! Just - Just one chance, please. I-I don't know how it all got so fucked, but please, I have to try - "
"Whatever you said in that freezer, Carmen, fucking gutted her, you hear me?" Dani stood in her doorway protectively. "Should've had your ass frozen for the hurt you caused her. How the fuck do you intend on making this right? Huh? It's been almost a fucking decade, dude, if you're seriously still afraid of commitment, just fuck off and leave her alone. Let her walk away 'cause I promise, there's a line of dudes who would love to put a ring on her loyal-ass finger - "
"Please, let me fix this," Carmy begged, sounding close to tears. "I need her, Danielle, please."
"It's okay, D," a voice whispered from behind Danielle, and when she turned, you were revealed - jacket and purse in hand, looking completely exhausted, drained, and disheveled. "I'm just tired, Dani, but we have to talk about this... So, I'll go home with him and call you tomorrow, okay?"
"You sure?"
"It's a decent walk, gives us too much time to talk," you shrugged, refusing to meet Carmy's bloodshot eyes. "Thanks for tonight, sorry I was such a mess," you whispered, hugging your best friend since pre-school.
"Girl, don't you ever apologize to me. But hey, look, I don't know, you were just drowning in your tears, like, five minutes ago. Sure you really wanna go? You can stay here as long as you'd like, girl, fuck him."
"Better to work it out now than later, I guess," you whispered, letting her kiss your cheek and see you guys out.
"She calls me cryin', Carmen, I'll kick your ass," She threatened as you moved down the apartment's hall. You might've snickered just a little, but the amusement was wiped clean when you rounded the corner and came up to the elevators.
Now that it was just you two, it was dreadfully awkward.
"Baby - "
"Just - don't talk for right now, Carmen," you sighed, shaking your head. "I'm still digesting all you said."
He frowned when you walked onto the elevator without a single emotion on your face, following you, and when on the ground floor, moved out to head home. It was quiet, it was awkward; only the sounds of traffic filling the space between you as you walked.
"Listen," he started with a long sigh, "you came in at the worst time, Peach, heard some shit you shouldn't have that I-I didn't even mean. I was just," he paused, sighing, "really angry and frustrated, fucking running my mouth 'cause I didn't know what else to do."
"Sounded like I came in at the best time since you're not very forthcoming with emotions. So, hearing your confession put a lot in perspective for me, Carm."
"I was just angry, Peach," he frowned, hands deep in his pockets. "Felt like I was self sabotaging myself, I wasn't sure what else to feel. So, I just lashed out. I didn't mean it, but I just felt like being angry... So fucking angry, baby, I just - I didn't know what else to feel."
"I don't know if I can be with someone like that," you whispered. "Someone who throws our relationship under the bus when he's angry, someone who's first line of defense is apparently to blame the relationship he's been in for over half a decade with the same girl. Someone you've known your whole life..."
"Peach - "
"If it's that easy for you to just disregard us, I don't think we should continue this."
Carmy took a breath and reached out to pull you to a stop. He dug in his pocket for a moment, then showed you the black velvet jewelry box. "I was gonna propose tonight, when everyone was gone," he explained when you took the box to open gingerly. "I think because that was on my mind already, something I was more than nervous to actually do, you're right, it did become my first line of defense to blame us - not just you, baby, but us. You and me... Mostly me, though," he chuckled sadly. "You're this perfect, sweet angel who just loves me out loud when I don't deserve it, and I'm... I'm just me," he sighed, eyes reddening. "And I know I'm never gonna be enough for you, I think I started to get in my head about if you said no. How I missed the call from Terry about the fridge 'cause I was picking out an engagement ring that you didn't even want, that you rejected - rejected me; and in turn, I missed opening night, and it all just - it got to a boiling point. Look, Peach, it's never been a secret that I don't think I deserve you... But I wanted to be the man that could at least give you an honest try of my best. You've stuck by me the past seven years when you should've ran for the hills, and I knew I wanted us for life years ago - but everything was still so up in the air. So confusing. So fucked up. I figured, after opening tonight, if things went t'plan, I could propose - prove to you that we're on our feet and there weren't any rugs to be pulled."
"What if things didn't go to plan?" You whispered.
"We're kinda living it now," he admitted, hand rubbing the back of his neck. "But even if tonight was all a total failure, I know I might've still done it because it's you, Peach. It's you... I've known for years you're who I want, I just never knew how to do this - to move us forward. You're my first relationship, hopefully my only relationship, and I just didn't know how to advance us. I think when things got real for me, my insecurities crept in, and I just reacted - I didn't think."
"We always said when this wasn't healthy or when this wasn't good for us anymore, we'd walk away," you reminded. "That we'd rather be sad or angry about a breakup instead of letting resentment fester from being together."
"It's still good for me, Peach, we're still good," he whispered, stepping closer. "Is it still good for you? Or did I lose you completely tonight?"
"I don't know, Carmy, you've been lashing out a lot lately. At me specifically."
"And with The Bear now open, I-I should be okay. You know? Back to normal?"
You chuckled dryly, "I see, back to your high walls? Emotional constipation?"
"Then maybe not normal," he corrected, "because I just needed to get us here, to tonight, to opening, and then show you that it's over. Show you that part of our lives is over and we only have more adventures to look forward to. Not ones like this, though," he gestured up the street, your eyes cutting over and realizing you were back at The Bear.
"Do you really think you're a psycho?"
He chuckled, "After tonight? Yeah, pretty convinced... Plus, I, uh, I saw in the freezer the way we're labeling things - and got angry about it. Angry about the way we were tearing tape and labeling things. It was so fucking stupid, but I just - I felt so crazy. I still do, I still feel like my head doesn't make sense and I'm a bit, you know... Crazy."
You nodded slowly, "Then how can you promise me this kinda shit won't happen again?"
"I don't think I can, but I can make you the promise that I am working on it; trying to identify when I feel reactive, trying to calm that down. I'm trying, Peach, I really am - it's just... Taking a lot of time," he sighed sadly. "And I know you don't have any more left to give me."
"I've already given you this many years," you reminded softly, "I think I could spare another or two if it meant you getting your shit together, that you get better, stop feeling so crazy."
"I don't deserve anymore time - "
"I think you need to step back and reevaluate what it means to be deserving because you always say that. That you don't deserve something - even as simple as time. Everyone deserves time and opportunity to figure shit out, Carmy, and you're no exception."
He nodded, "I'm... Trying." He took a long, deep breath, "I'm, uh... Going to meetings, you know, like, uh, Al-Anon and whatever."
"That's good, they're there to help," you nodded, stepping closer to take his hands in yours after closing the ring box and stuffing it back in his pocket. "Now, I think you need to do something."
"Anything, Peach."
"Take my hand, bring me back to The Bear, and go about your plan."
He froze in shock, blinking at you in earnest, "You really mean that?"
"Do I look like I'm joking?"
"No, ma'am, and I think that scares me more."
"You'd rather break up? 'Cause at this point, Carm, we either move forward with this engagement and fucking work our shit out, or we break up. It's been almost a decade. It's your choice, you're the one who was saying he couldn't be someone's husband, that he didn't need to provide anyone nor have them provide you with anything. So, you tell me what you want to do - because all I know is that I love you, I want you for life, but not if you're going to resent me and regret moving our relationship forward. I don't need to get married, Carmy, but you can't keep jerking me around like you have been. So... Make a decision based on what you want - based on what's best for you. Not what's best for us, but put yourself first right now, Carmy, and make a decision about what you want."
With a nod of his head, Carmy cleared his throat and offered you his hand. When he felt you lock your fingers with his, he glanced up and down the street, then lead you across it. Up the sidewalk and to the front door of The illuminating Bear, he paused to produce his keys and then lead you inside.
The lights were dim, but a flip of the switch brightly lit up the newly constructed restaurant. He seemed nervous at your cool demeanor, watching you shed your coat and set your purse down; but his hand took yours again and lead you further into the place. He seemed nervous, but once in the kitchen, it was almost like Carmy's stress melted away.
"I was... I had this plan," he explained softly, leaning on one of the work stations with both hands in yours to keep you in front of him. "I have all these candles, right? Was gonna distract you in here," he looked around the fluorescent lighting, "while Richie, Fak, Tina, and the others set everything up. We'd hang in here after the place was closed down, you know, show you around the completed kitchen. And really casually, I'd ask if you were ready to go, so, we'd go out the front, and we'd walk right into the candlelight..."
"Yeah?" He nodded, thumbs running over your hands as he pushed off the counter. "Don't deviate from your plan now..."
Carmy smirked, "Wanna hear the boring kitchen stuff?"
"Of course, I do."
So, he lead you around in a tour of the kitchen; showing off the new office space that he invited you to take advantage of whenever you wanted. The sleek appliances were shown off, the vast fridges, freezers, new cutlery, state-of-the-art dishwashers. Everything, he showed you, knowing you helped him pick a lot of it out - it was still nice to see it all come together finally.
And then, slowly, he lead you out of the kitchen, but to your honest shock, the dining room was covered in lit candles and different bouquets of thick, gorgeous floral arrangements. "Oh, holy shit," you breathed, Carmy hiding his confusion much better than you.
You came to a slow halt in the middle of the room, the lights out and only leaving the candles to provide an ambiance. "I had this whole speech planned, too," Carmy told you softly. "Remind you of the day we met, how you saved me from those jackass bullies - remember?"
You smiled softly, emotions swirling in your chest, "First day of first grade, you had a Buzz Lightyear backpack and some kids were picking on you 'cause of it."
"And what did you do?"
You felt bashful remembering, but humored him by answering, "Pushed their faces in the mud at recess and made them apologize."
"You've been my best friend since that day," he nodded, bringing you in a few steps closer. "And when we got to high school, my feelings changed. You weren't just my best friend, but the girl I was madly in love with... Took me a couple years to buck up the courage to ask you out officially, though."
"Sure took your sweet time," you whispered with a smile, "but all good things to those who wait, right?"
"And I think you've waited long enough for a man to be who you deserve," he frowned. "All these years - it's been you at my side. You even - fuck - you even came over to Amsterdam for a bit because I was feeling overwhelmed and lonely. Sad, maybe even a little homesick. But you just - you just showed up like it was the most common thing in the world."
You chuckled through your tears, "Yeah, we had some good times on that boat, didn't we?"
He nodded with a softening smile, pushing hair from your face and behind your ear; pausing to hold your cheek carefully. "And when we came back stateside... You were still the only constant presence in my life. You were my family without blood, and I knew after that Christmas that you'd forever be my other half, and I'd spend my life conveying how grateful I am for you. I just - I never knew how to put it into words until now."
"What changed?"
"Realizing that I wanted to marry you years ago - and I should've. I know I shouldn't have drug my feet with us, delay our inevitable, because honestly? I couldn't see my life without you in it and I knew I needed you with me forever. Peach," he frowned, reaching for your other cheek, "we agreed when this wasn't healthy, we'd walk away - I remember that. But I need you to know, I'll never fucking regret you. I'll never resent you. You've been unwaveringly supportive and loving and... And I've been the luckiest man to experience it all. But now," he pushed himself a step closer so he was hovered over your lips, "I know that you deserve someone just as present in this relationship as you are. I knew once The Bear was done, I was done - I was done beating this bush around and wasting time. I knew what I needed to do because the idea of you not being in my life anymore terrifies me more than anything. I don't remember life without you, Peach, and I don't ever want to know what it's like. So," he cleared his throat, "here, in the restaurant I so desperately wanted to give up on so many times, but you always stopped me, I wanted to make this official. I wanted it to be here to show you that the past year of our turmoil - it's fucking over, Peach. We did it," he whispered, "and now, the next and only thing I want to focus on is us."
Carmy readjusted you both for a little bit of space, holding your left hand tightly as he lowered himself to a single knee; looking up at you with those big, wide, sad blue eyes that were growing redder by the passing second. The candlelight created a romantic atmosphere that cocooned you both in a warm embrace, the flowers around you projecting their floral scent.
"So, I need to ask you something real important, baby," he whispered, his throat bobbing to restrain his emotion that clawed up his throat, "because if I don't, I don't think I could breathe again." He cleared his throat, pulling the ring box from his pocket and opening it to present to you officially. "Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N... My sweetest Peach, I've loved you almost my entire life, you're my best friend, my most loyal and sweetest confidant. You make me want to be a man better than I was yesterday and never before have I ever seriously considered marriage - until you. Now? Now, I can't get the idea out of my head, so, my sweet girl," he took another breath, the tears in his eyes swelling and slowly dripping down his cheeks as you slowly got on your knees in front of him, "I need to ask you... W-Would you do me the honor? Of being my wife?"
"Carmen."
He grinned at you, both with tears down your cheeks. "Will you marry me, Y/N? I can't see my life without you in it, so... I want this, I want you for life. Y/N, will you marry me?" He paused, adding a meek little, "Please?" at the end.
With a deep breath, you slowly reached for his cheeks in a soft caress to wipe his tears; both just staring at one another for a good few moments before a face-splitting grin nearly cracked your lips. "Yes," you finally answered, "yeah, yes, yes, of course, I'll marry you, Carmen, yes!"
"Oh, thank fuckin' God," he laughed, letting you lunge forward to knock him backward in a hug - missing the candles arranged in a small circle for you two to stand in. Carmy laughed loudly, happily, giving you a tight squeeze as he mused, "Had my heart beatin' outta my chest for a second there, Peach."
"Oh, please," you laughed, "after all this time, you really thought I'd say no?"
He shrugged meekly, "Thought my most recent fuck-ups would've added to any reasons you might have to say no."
"Oh, spare me - you're my best friend, Carmy, you know I couldn't ever say no to you. Not without puking in nervousness."
"Can we maybe not talk about puke when we just got engaged?"
You laughed and nodded, "Fine, fine, fine, then put the ring on, please."
You presented your left manicured hand, watching Carmy almost giddily removed the band from the box, took a slow, deep breath, and then, the most beautiful ring was being slid onto your finger in an official show of your engagement. Of your undying love. Of your commitment, promises, and future together.
"YEAH!" An array of varying cheers and hollers of support and excitement rang out around you; startling both you and Carmy to look up. Richie, Sydney, Tina, Neil, Theo, Pete, and Sugar all hung in the bathroom's alcove - watching with splitting grins and cheering in celebration.
There was no time to question them as Richie lead the charge over; helping you to your feet for a giant, bear hug before gushing over your engagement ring. Neil and Theo popped one of the authentic bottles of champagne, pouring different flutes for those present.
"Calm down," Natalie scolded Richie lightly, "and move out the way, I want to hug my engaged bestie!"
You squealed with Sugar when her arms wrapped around you tightly, Rich moving on to congratulate Carmy - who apologized for his angry words earlier and thanked them for still setting things up. Richie promised it was for you, not Carmy, but still hugged the little shit with a laugh - indicating he was just joking.
"Let me see!" Natalie grinned, examining the ring Carmy chose and squealing again. "Oh, my God! Oh, it's so pretty! Oh, shit - sisters!" She gasped, holding your hands tightly, "We're going to be sisters - like, officially!"
"Sisters in law, but yeah, cupcake," you beamed at her, wiping your tears and giggling. "I can't - this just doesn't feel real," you told her softly, looking the few feet over to see Carmy with the lads as Sydney stood with you and Sugar. "Him proposing? I genuinely thought it wouldn't happen," you tried to laugh your nerves off, looking at your ring and fiddling with it.
"Yeah, right," Sydney laughed. "I haven't been around that long and even I knew this was gonna happen."
"Oh, please, she's right," Natalie grinned when you went to retaliate, "he first started talking about how he wanted to marry you when he was, like, 15. This has been the longest thing coming."
"Thank you guys for helping," you whispered with a smile. "It's all so beautiful."
"Happy to help for a good cause," Syd smiled, complimenting your ring as Neil called for a toast. Everyone was given flutes of champagne, Carmy's arm wrapping around your waist as each friend gave their own little speech, congratulating you both before the alcohol was being drained.
"Uh, and where are you two going?" Sugar asked about an hour later with a small giggle when Carmy wrapped an arm around your neck after helping you into your coat again.
"Gotta celebrate alone with my fiancé," he smirked, "later, guys! Don't forget to lock up!"
"Carmen!" You scolded with a small laugh, gaping at him.
"What? They got this," Carmy chuckled. "Thanks, you guys, see you tomorrow!"
"We can help clean," you told him as he lead you out of the restaurant.
"Nah, we've got bigger plans," he smirked at you. "Got plenty t'celebrate, yeah? Ever fucked as fiancés before?"
"No - but I hear it's some crazy sex," you whispered, locking your arms around his waist to stay close. Neither of you cared about the bus at this hour, opting to walk home in the cold - not that you felt it. Your love burned brighter than the cold biting your skin.
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requesting rules and masterlist
The Bear masterlist
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savingcrxws · 1 year ago
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EYES ON FIRE | maybe someday
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[ prev chap ] [ next chap ]
synopsis. you and carmen just keep bumping into each other.
word count. 4.3k (gah damn)
warnings. language, hardly proofread again i'm sorry its an addiction
authors note. thank u guys so much for the support in these previous chapters! it’s really amazing to me that u guys enjoyed it so much! i would recommend listening to maybe someday by the cure for this chapter!
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“Yeah, Sugar. The appointment is booked for Thursday, the reps will probably be coming in at like…three o’clock,” you mutter, flipping through the manila folder absolutely stuffed with documents and sticky notes. 
You pursue your lips at all you had to get done within this week alone–sign installation permit, permit to replace the hot water heater, permit to fix the ventilation systems, reapply for occupancy capacity signs because of the restaurants lack of other permits, and holy shit…
You completely forgot to schedule the follow-up appointment with the BACP consultant. 
You groan, slamming the thick folder into your forehead, the papers thwacking against your skull. Natalie sounds startled on the other end of the phone, no doubt hearing the sound on her end of the call. She questions if you’re okay, and you only respond with a gentle hum before tossing the folder back down on the office table. 
“Hey, Suge, do you think I can call you back later? I need to schedule a follow-up consultation with Raquel before another rep hops on my ass about the boiler replacement.” 
“Of course, hun, call me back whenever you can,” Sugar starts and you can hear some papers flicking in her side of the call as well.
You had managed to convince her to work from home more often, worried that all the stress from the demolition inside would affect her pregnancy and her overall wellbeing. After some back and forth, she had begrudgingly agreed to spend two days working on the project from the comfort of her own couch. 
And even though she complains still, you know she appreciates she has a little bit more time off of her feet. 
“Don’t work yourself too hard, okay, Bug?” 
You nod, even though you know she can’t see you. “Same for you, Bear.” Sugar hums once again before you both give your goodbyes and end the call. 
You expel all of the air out of your chest in a large puff as you slide down the office chair.
After signing onto Team Bear, your new home-away-from-home had been this tiny office in the back of the restaurant. For the most part, no one came in and disrupted your work, which allowed you to have your head shoved into piles of paperwork, be stuck on phone calls, and be forced to reread legal jargon for hours on end with little interruption. 
Well, as little interruption as there could be with the restaurant quite literally falling apart around you. 
Thankfully, everyone was very respectful of your work in helping the developing business. You were practically putting every ounce of knowledge that you learned from both college and the real-world experience (including connections within the industry) to help push the restaurant closer to the deadline. All the while still dealing with your other commitments to other businesses that you had prior to signing on to this project.
Staying at The Bear for eight hours a day had its benefits, though.
For example, there was always something entertaining going on in the background. Like last Tuesday, when Fak had decided to send a sledgehammer directly into the only remaining wall of the office–sending bits and pieces of drywall onto your clothes.
Another benefit of being stuck in that office chair is that you had an excuse to ignore everyone around you. And by everyone, you really mean Carmen.
After the awkward office run-in last week, the two of you hardly spoke to each other. Sure, there was the ‘hellos’ and ‘goodbyes’ that you threw to each other and the words you exchanged when you caught him up on the status of licensing, but you two had yet to have an actual conversation.
It was clear that the both of you were still walking on eggshells around each other—and everyone could see it. But you had an inkling feeling that Carmen had been wanting to say something, judging by the short glances you sometimes catch him throwing in your direction.
Kinda similar to the one that he’s giving you right now.
You feel the heat of his stare on your face before you see it. He’d been staring at you for a couple moments now, long enough for you to no longer consider it an inquisitive glance.
You peek up from the folder and make solid eye contact with Carmen through the hole in the wall. The man flushes almost immediately, the red color sinking past his collar. You purse your lips and give a small nod of acknowledgment and he stutters in his spot.
And then he’s turning away.
Like he wasn’t the one just staring at you a moment ago.
You roll your eyes and turn back to your original position in the seat. Picking the folder up again, you flick to the papers listing the requirements for the next fire suppression test.
“Men,” you mutter, before picking up your phone and making a phone call.
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Three days later, the office is completely demolished and your work revolving around The Bear has been moved to a family-owned coffee shop two blocks over.
In the short span of time, all of the walls in the store had been busted down and the restaurant had practically turned into a hazardous wasteland. And since construction was too far out of your pay grade, you decided to leave the heavy lifting up to everyone else.
“Alright, permit done!” You throw your hands up in the air, your theatrics catching the attention of a couple next to you. You could hardly care for the stares, though, you had been working on getting that permit for the past four days straight. Slamming your laptop shut, you pack up your bags and head off to the cash register to buy another coffee before you go.
While you wait for your drink, you decide to scroll aimlessly through your phone to kill some time.
“Oh shit,” you hear a voice utter behind you, and you barely have time to process the word before something ice cold is running down your back. “Fuck, I’m fucking sorry, I didn’t even see you—“
You gasp on reflex, taking a step forward and shivering. The person who spilled their drink on you is stuttering out apologies. The liquid seeps into the jacket you were wearing and you pull it off immediately.
“Yo, what the fuck, dude,” you curse, watching the large stain of coffee spread even farther across your jacket. “Watch where the hell you’re walking—”
In the middle of trying to give the perpetrator a piece of your mind, you failed to recognize the familiar sound of the voice that was spewing apology out of apology. But in a second, your eyes met a recognizable set of blue and you halted your words.
In front of you stands Carmen Berzatto. In his signature colored sweater and a half-spilled cup of coffee in his hand.
And he looks petrified.
It seems he didn’t realize just who was the unlucky victim to his americano attack either until you turned around. His mouth agape, he utters out a jumbled apology, glancing back at you, your stained jacket, and the cup in his hand like his brain was still trying to understand what just happened.
“Uh-uh, fuck, sorry, I swear this wasn’t on purpose,” he rambles, placing his cup on the counter behind you and grabbing some napkins right after. He steps back towards you and shoves his hand of napkins to you. “Here, shit, I’m so sorry.”
You sigh, taking the napkins from him, noting the slight tremor that persisted in his hands as you did so. Taking in a slow breath, you close your eyes and count to ten before responding. “It’s okay, Carmen. Don’t worry about it.”
And even though you tried to maintain your peace, you can hear the annoyance seeping out of your words. Carmen glances around the counter before looking back at you and your soaked jacket. You know he probably wants to apologize some more, but honestly, one more apology might land him with a punch to the gut. 
Just as he opens his mouth, you raise your free hand, silencing him immediately. You shake your head in dismissal before taking the napkins offered to you and blotting the coffee out of the fabric of your jacket. Carmen simply stood in his place, watching you, seeing if he could do anything to redeem himself in this situation. 
However, after they called your name for your drink order, you dumped the used napkins in the trash, took your drink and hightailed it out of the café without one more word to the man. 
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After the coffee shop incident, you swear that you started to see Carmen everywhere. 
You needed a quiet place to plan outside of your house so you went to one of the local libraries. Guess who’s walking outside the building?
You need a late night snack and decide to hit up the corner store. Guess who’s in the refrigerated section?
Hell, you decide to stay late at The Bear for some last minute checkups? Guess who forgot to grab a few things before leaving that night?
You swear that before you hopped on The Bear train, you never even saw a glimpse of the man. Sure, you lived relatively near the restaurant, but Chicago is fucking huge, there’s no way you would run into one of the few people that you’re trying to avoid. 
Absolutely not, apparently. 
Finally finishing up the weekly budget report and estimate for the following weeks till open, you decide to take a step away from work for a second and give your brain some time to breath. 
“Hey, Syd, if anyone needs me, I’m outside taking a smoke break, ‘kay,” you yell across the restaurant, receiving a thumbs up from her from the other side of the room. “Be back in 15!”
Reaching into your bag, you pull out a pack of cigs and a lighter before heading to the back entrance of the restaurant. You place the cigarette between your lips and head to the backdoor. Stepping out and around the alley to the designated smoke corner, you fiddle with the lighter switch, hearing the light sizzle but seeing no flames emerge. 
You groan, flicking the lighter again and again and still no lig–
“Umm, uh, you need a light?”
You scream, your heart almost skipping a beat and falling out on the concrete below you. In your alarm, both your cigarette and the lighter drop on to the ground. "Shit," you mutter and throw a glance over at whoever had scared the living shit out of you and, surprise suprise . . .
There was Carmen, standing in the alley a few feet away from the door. One leg was kicked up to rest his foot against the wall behind him and a cigarette hung loosely between his fingers. His eyes trailed across you for a second, then he glanced at the cigarette on the ground before taking another draw from his own and staring out the wall in front of him.
If you had half of the energy, you would tell him off for scaring the shit out of you and book it out of the enclosed space.
Lucky for Carmen, however, you really needed that cigarette.
Reaching back into your bag once more, you pull out another cig and walk slowly over to the man. Your steps gain his attention once again and when your eyes met you gestured to the lighter hanging out of his cooking apron.
He grabs the lighter and hands it to you. As you reach out to grab it, your fingers brush against his knuckles. Some quick thought in the back of your head wishes that that physical interaction lasted a little longer, but you're quick to shoo that away into the deep recesses of your mind.
Lighting your cigarette, you hand the lighter back to him before taking a drag. Blowing the smoke out, you slid down the wall until you could lean back into a squat against it.
The two of you just stand there, in complete silence aside from the occasional cough from an improper pull. This quiet isn't nearly as awkward as the first run-in the two of you had. Maybe it's because of the nicotine or maybe it's because continuously running into Carmen over these past days had subconsciously made you a little more comfortable with his presence.
. . .
Nah, it definitely had to be the nicotine.
You glance up at Carmen, who continues to smoke even though his stick had turned into a bud a while ago. You make note of the new tattoos that run down his arms and hands, eyes stopping at the rose flower tattoo on his left hand.
You remember when he got that one done with you at the parlor for his eighteenth birthday.
Subconsciously, you rub at the matching rose on your thigh before sighing and focusing back on your cigarette. Young, dumb decisions, you think.
Above you, Carmen watches your focus retreat back and purses his lips. In all honesty, Carmen usually never finishes a whole cigarette, but he really needed an excuse to stay out here longer with you.
These past couple of days had been tormenting him just as much as it had been you, albeit for different reasons. Everytime Carmen ran into you, whether it be in that cafe or that random grocery store that one early morning, he was plagued with memories of everything that he had fucked up.
Not just the relationship that he had fucked, but the happiness that he had stolen from the both of you.
And he had so desperately been trying to apologize, but every time you saw his face, you would get that look on your own. That dread, the anxiousness, that annoyance. That anger.
Whenever he saw that expression on your face, he would get too choked up to say anything of significance. A simple 'hey" would be all that would leave his mouth. Either that or he would stutter like he was a fucking kid again and embarrass himself in front of you like he seems to be doing constantly lately.
Carmen sighs, taking a final hit from his cigarette before stomping it out on the ground. By all previous experience, Carmen would book it out of the area by now, but something in his gut was telling him to stay this time.
Glancing down at you once more, he sees that you have taken to scrolling through your phone to kill the time. He bites the corner of his lip and decides to sit against the wall like you.
Instinctively, you toss him a questioning glance but when he didn't make any move to speak or gesture towards you, you shook your head and went back to whatever video had popped up on your feed.
Fuck it, he thought.
"I'm sorry."
You halt in the middle of your smoke, nearly coughing on the fumes but managing to swallow it. You look over at Carmen inquisitively, wondering where the hell that apology came from. The dirty blonde was wringing his hands, mouth opening and shutting as if he was trying to get the words out.
"Sorry for the, uh," he mutters, casting a quick glance in your direction to assure himself that you were listening. "Sorry for the, for uh-You know I didn't-I don't know how-"
"Yo, Carmen," you interrupt the world vomit that he was spewing, tossing your cigarette down before snuffing out the light with your shoe. You center your focus back on the man next to you, who seemed to only have you in his attention. "Just say what you want to say. No bullshit."
Your blunt words seem to ground Carmen long enough for him to gather his thoughts. He nods his head rapidly in that way he does when he's clearly overwhelmed before he clears his throat. He takes in a large inhale and clears his throat, ready to speak again.
"I want to apologize. For everything. For how much of an jackoff I was back then, and for how much I am right now," Carmen stars, eyes staring solidly into yours to show just how serious he is. "I didn't deserve you, and you did nothing to deserve the way that we ended."
You feel something burn the back of your throat at the mention of the end of your relationship. The total radio silence from him for the days prior, and just when you had managed to gather the courage to ask the question of just what the hell are we doing, Carmy, you were cast aside like nothing.
He was right, you didn’t deserve that.
Pushing back the feelings bubbling up in your chest, you nod your head to signal that you were listening.
"I-I, it's no excuse, but I was really going through some serious shit. And I really felt that if I cut everyone out of my life, I could actually get a second to breathe you know," Carmen pauses and you open your mouth to speak, but he continues. "I-I just know you deserved-you deserve better. But seeing you in this restaurant day-in and day-out, working away to help my sister, my crew--help me? I just felt even more like a piece of shit."
He turns fully towards you now and you can see his eyes turning red from the emotion he was clearly holding behind his words. "You didn't deserve what I did, and you definitely don't deserve to be cleaning up my messes now."
"You deserved the world, and I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you."
His last words send a sharp pang into your chest. Here you two sat, sitting next to each other, the distance between you two seemed to be filled with words unsaid. You stare into his eyes a little longer, at a loss for what to say completely.
On one hand, you wanted to reject his apology, tell him to fuck off and leave him alone in this alleyway. He would deserve it after everything.
But he has that familiar kicked puppy-dog look in his eyes and he's chewed his lip red, and he's actually sorry.
You sigh, leaning your head back to rest against the wall behind you. Staring up at the sky, you trace the shapes of the clouds above as you collect your thoughts.
"Yeah," you start, nodding your head to yourself. Carmen tenses up at the ambiguity behind both your words and your tone. He would have to have his own head shoved up his ass if he didn't realize that you had every right to refuse his plea for forgiveness. Frankly, that's exactly what he was expecting you to do.
"Yeah, okay. I can forgive you, Berzatto."
Carmen's heart sinks into his guts, mouth slightly agape in pure shock. "You-you can?"
You give a small smile, turning your head to face the man. "Yeah, Carmen, I accept your apology."
The dirty blonde opens his mouth again but you put a hand up in the space between you, effectively shutting him up for a second.
"But," you trail, "I'm gonna forward you that dry cleaning bill from that cafe, asshat. I've been trying to get that shit out for days now."
Carmen flushes a bright red at the mention of the coffee shop run-in you two had, a broken chuckle leaving his mouth at the obvious teasing tone in your voice. You were joking with him, for the first time in years, you two had managed to glimpse at the level of comfortability that you once shared.
Carmen chuckles again, running a hand through his curls. "Yeah, well, can I raincheck that until after the restaurant starts making money? I'm kinda flat fucking broke right now."
You giggle at the honesty behind his words. "Yeah, I ran those calculations by the way. Have fun being flat broke for at least three months after The Bear opens."
"Shit," Carmen mutters, a grin still on his face.
"Yeah, shit." You nod in his direction before pushing yourself off your crouched position on the ground. "Anyway, I'm gonna head inside to get back on that shit. Fak's fucking electric guy keeps flaking on us."
Carmen's eyes follow your form as you stand, holding eye contact with you when you glance back down at him. "Yeah, yeah, I should probably meet up with Syd for the chaos menu anyway."
He hurriedly stands up, wiping his hands on his work pants. After he finishes, he looks at you once again, noting the small smile on your face. For a second, he swears his heart skips a beat.
"For the record, Carmy," you play with the nickname on your tongue, having not said it in quite some time. Carmen flushes before nodding for you to continue. The small on your face falls for a second as you look at him. "You pull that shit with me again, I'm sicking the dogs on your ass. Seriously."
Carmen clears his throat, straightening up at the more serious tone of your voice. Although you were not nearly as angry looking at him as before, he knew that you were serious. There were no more apologies after this, no more fuckups.
You look at him expectantly, waiting for some form of acknowledgment.
He nods. "Yes, chef."
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After the conversation outside The Bear, you and Carmen seemed to flow together much easier than before. Granted there was the occasional stray glance casted in your direction from the man, but overall, the two of you were on much more agreeable terms.
The rest of the crew seemed to notice the absence of uncertain tension between the two of you. You explained to Tina, Richie, and Sugar that you two had simply talked it out and were no longer on "spiteful ex" terms.
Richie, being the annoying man that he is, insisted that something else must've happened--to which you responded with a firm shoulder check and yet another middle finger.
Overall, the two of you seemed to only talk about business stuff, which made it easier for conversations to flow. Less personal, more concrete talks.
"Alright, Carmy, we got that certificate of occupancy, right?" You question, running down the legal checklist once again. When you heard no response, you asked again, only to be ignored again. Finally looking up from your screen, you glance up at the man, trying to figure out what could have possibly distracted him this time.
He's glancing, moreso glaring, down at his phone, watching it ring but making no moves to pick it up. He's spaced out almost, like he's lost in his thoughts.
You clear your throat and decide to try his name again. "Carmen!"
He shoots up a little and looks at you, muttering an apology out as he clicks his phone off and slides it into his back pocket. "What were you asking?"
"Umm, I was trying to see if you got that certificate of occupancy from Cicero mailed in," you raise an eyebrow at him. "You know, the one we need to get that other big, shiny certificate that shows that we can legal conduct business in the state of Illinois? That certificate?"
"Uhh, yeah, yeah. Mailed it in the other day, yeah."
You squint at his weird responses before shaking your head and diving back into your work. "Well, on another note, I've been speaking with a liason down at the office and he said we can have our second fire suppression test in two weeks instead of the project four."
Carmen walks up to the foldable chair you were sitting in, peering over your shoulder to look at your screen. He rests his hand against the back of your chair unconsciously and you can feel the heat of his body radiating off of him. You clear your throat and lean forward a little to get some distance between the two of you.
"Who's that going to?" The man points to an email that you are in the middle of drafting. Your eyes follow and land on the email you were writing to one of your school buddies. "Oh that? I'm just messaging one of my old classmates from college about an idea I had about our issues with that retail food license thing."
Carmen humms, peeking down at you as you explained the process you were thinking of going through. Though your eyes were stuck on the screen, clicking through different documents as you continued your explanation, Carmen's eyes were glued to your face.
To him, this all felt like some weird dream that he was having. His former high school sweetheart, sitting in his restaurant, talking all kinds of smart talk that he could barely understand, practically pressed against him. Although he didn't move over to your chair with the intent to press against you, he definitely noticed the proximity that you two shared.
Life had been a whirlwind these past weeks, but he felt that when he was near you that a lot of those anxieties he often has screaming in his head quieted down a little. He tried to chalk it up to the confidence that he had in your skills, but even though you are incredibly talented in your work, he knew that it was something more than that.
Something that he had to swallow down.
"Carmy, you motherfucker, are you even listening to me?" You call out, turning more in your chair and fixing him with an annoyed glare. Carmen swallows before nodding his head. "Ye-yeah, you have a plan to get that retail food license and alcohol seller's license at once right?"
You hum, giving him a once over again before turning in your seat. "Exactly. I think that my buddy Stephen can help us with that fire suppression test, he knows a thing or two--"
Carmen's eyes trace down your eyes, nose, and lips, noting the signature bite marks you left on your bottom one. He runs a tongue across his own before carding a hand through his hair to collect himself.
He was so fucked.
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taglist: @grippleback-galaxy @chatitajens @rooster-bradshaws @hrrysweetcherry @whoreforbucky @notsochillnerd @jackierose902109 @how2besalty @rosewine-5 @honeybug-victoria @beansap @sincerelyrab @xxconfettiitsaparade @softsy @imafatassmess @bibliophilewednesday @chanluuvr
if you would like to be added to/removed from the taglist, just tell me below! thank you so much for reading!
*if ur @ is striked thru, tumblrs being a pain and not letting tag, imma keep trying tho!!
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formulawolff · 3 months ago
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night changes - d.r.
pairing: fem!reader x daniel ricciardo
word count: 1k
warnings: some cursing here and there, alcohol consumption, danny bein' a little shit, mostly cutesyyyyy shit hehehe, yadayadayada
a.n. -> yes, this fic is based off the song night changes by one direction. (and a request that was sent in!)
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⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺
clink, clink, clink!
lightly, you tap your spoon against the champagne flute, clearing your throat. as hundreds of eyes fall on you, there's a beat of silence. anxiety courses through your veins, yet you know you have to persevere.
after all, this wasn't about you.
it was about danny.
"good evening, everyone," sucking in a breath, you shift uneasily, the nerves overtaking the buzz for just a moment, "first of all, i would like to thank everyone for joining us in celebrating our love. i cannot express how grateful i am to be surrounded by all of our dearest friends and family members."
daniel is beside you, perched in his chair at the head table. the golden hue of the lights create a warm ambiance, softening his features. yet, when you glance over at him, you can't help but notice the stars that glisten in his gaze.
he nods, encouraging you to continue. taking your hand, fingers intertwine with yours. he gives you a gentle squeeze, dimples forming as he bears a quaint grin.
"before we begin the real party, i wanted to present daniel with a gift. i was going to give it to him during our rehearsal dinner, but i decided to wait. i figured it would be best if you all were here to watch it as well."
your hand trembles, yet you continue, the words thready as you fight the lump forming in your throat. tears begin to well up, blurring your vision as you look back down at love of your life.
"d-daniel, i know this gift is extremely corny, but i think it best represents our love story. you are the man of my dreams, and i cannot wait to love you and show you off for the rest of our lives. i hope that by the time this is finished, everyone will know how much i fucking adore and cherish you. max, could you please roll the gift in?"
max verstappen, the best man, gives you a salute, promptly disappearing behind an array of flower garlands. to your far left, a white sheet rolls down from a wooden setup, a specially crafted rig from your father for the big day. max wheels in a cart, your laptop resting on the top shelf.
he plugs a cable into the designated port, giving you a thumbs up. as you sit back down, daniel places a hand on your thigh, leaning over.
"what is this?"
"just be patient," a giggle bubbles up in your throat, "you'll see in just a few seconds."
the lights of the outdoor venue dim as an image projects onto the sheet, the crowd maintaining their silence. there are a few whispers, but you ignore them, honing in on the display before you.
"hey guys," a clip of you begins to roll, "you will not fucking believe what just happened! daniel just won in monaco!"
"holy shit," daniel's voice is barely a whisper, almost breathless, "baby, where did you-"
"shhh," you place a finger on his lips, "just watch!"
a new clip flashes on the makeshift screen, the moments following his 2018 monaco win. he's at the edge of the pool, surrounded by the red bull crew. you're there as well, lingering in the background. yet, daniel is persistent to have you front and center, grasping your arm gently. he manages to pull you into the pool with him, the two of you erupting into laughter as you come to the surface.
there's a second where you see him cup your cheek, his thumb brushing a soaked strand away before he pulls you in for a kiss. members of the crew dive in, filled to the brim with euphoria.
there are a few photos that flash across the screen. one from daniel's debut as a formula one driver, where the two of you swore you were "just friends." then there was one of the two of you as children, bearing wide, toothy grins as you played outside. another is your prom, where daniel flew in from australia to attend the dance with you.
flash forward to his time with red bull as their third driver. the two of you are filming a tik tok, more than likely for a sponsorship on your end. the video shows daniel playfully slapping your ass before you hiss at him, reminding him that the camera was on. he just shrugs before making eye contact with the lens, smacking your buttcheek once again.
another video rolls, a tender moment of the two of you dancing at a wedding a few years back. he's holding you close, your head resting against his chest, your lashes fluttering as you sway along to the music. his head lowers, the australian whispering a strand of words that weren't quite picked up by the audio.
the audience coos as there is a plethora of baby photos that appear, as the two of you practically grew up together. since your father was stationed in australia till you were thirteen, you shared many fond memories with daniel.
truly, you had no idea how intertwined your paths were until it all unfolded on screen before you.
he was your soul mate. the only man you had ever loved. and the only man you were going to continue to love.
until the end of time.
"that was the moment i knew i was going to marry you," his voice shakes, and you can't help but notice the glimmer of a tear as it rolls down, "fuck, how did you even find these?"
heat floods your cheeks, "i've been saving them here and there."
he takes your hand, bringing it to his lips, "that was a beautiful gift, my love. i couldn't imagine anything more perfect than that."
"it wasn't corny?"
"far from it," shaking his head, a hand reaches up, cupping the back of your skull. he brings you in, eyes still misty from tears.
"that is going to be something we show to our future children. and their grandchildren. and you know what they'll all say?"
"what?" your lower lip trembles, your own tears pooling up.
"they're all going to say, 'they were so in love. i hope that we find someone who we can love like that.'"
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braisedhoney · 1 year ago
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WAAAAAAAA LOOK AT THEM?? LOOK AT U S ??????
*banging hands against the glass* I'M GONNA SMACK 'IM. I'M COMIN' AFTER HIM FOR BEING SO RUDE I SWEAR—
🍦🍨🍧 Narry siblings, but ice cream themed!🍦🍨🍧
Check out 🍦tsp ice cream chain 🍦
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A bunch of new flavours to try @insomniphic @braisedhoney @visillantopng @inqrabbit @real-ms-awkward @heckinrissa @paradoxspir1t @mikothemushroom @muffy-mayhem @demonicrhythms @inkitts @emile-tb @sketchy--d00dles @mar00nharp00ns @troolyart @thenamesmobu @thatstarboi @uselessnate @rick-ety @stargazerspringles @blackkittensketches @blackkatdraws @cha1nsawblood sad-ist
That’s obviously not everyone, just a bunch of this time, since ice cream chain is still active and going (it’s too early for mega one 🤫)
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prettynice8 · 1 year ago
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Kinkmas Day 19: Spanking
Pairing: Megumi Fushiguro x male reader
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This guy
Warnings: Kissing, no actual sexy times, jealousy, marking, funishment, BDSM? spanking DUH
Word count: 1147
You were just having a normal conversation with Yuji, who's probably the sweetest person you know.
"I fucking hate that geriatric fuck of a principal." You stated sourly, referring to the Kyoto school's principal, the weird guitar dude.
"He is pretty weird." Yuji agreed, not quite sharing your fiery hatred of the man.
"That whole Kyoto school is pretty weird, except for Todo I don't like any of them." You exclaimed.
"You like Todo?" he asked, surprised that you would like someone such as him.
"He's a silly guy, and hot, just a loveable teddy bear that I want to plow me." You said bluntly and with a straight face. It was after this declaration of thinking someone is kind of attractive is when Megumi appeared seemingly out of nowhere.
"Who's hot?" Megumi asked a little too quickly.
"Just Todo." You responded.
"Why?" He questioned again, "He's just a big fanboy who's dumber than rocks."
"Big being the operative word here." You said, catching Megumi off guard.
"He still calls me his brother; I don't know what's up with that." Yuji said.
"Well clearly not, compared to you he looks like a hunchback." You joked, causing both you and Yuji to giggle, while Megumi's face remained emotionless, maybe even a tad frustrated.
"No one compares to your beauty." Yuji joked back, bringing up even more laughter.
"Period." You said, then snapping your fingers. This causes Yuji to burst out into laughter, even gaining a smile from Megumi.
"Straight boys like you love me when I do that." You exclaimed, referring to Yuji.
"Bold of you to assume I'm straight." Yuji said before kissing your cheek, causing you to unknowingly blush. That's when Megumi breaks his long-standing silence.
"That reminds me why I'm over here. Y/N, could you come with me?" Megumi asked, seeming semi upset.
"What about Yuji saying, 'Bold of you to assume I'm straight' and then kissing me reminds you of coming over here?" You asked, a little snicker coming from Yuji in the background.
"Just come with me." Megumi demanded before grabbing your arm, pulling you away from poor sweet Yuji.
"Holy shit fine, got the message." You said, Megumi is still pulling you along with him.
"Goodbye Pookie." Yuji called out as you were being dragged away.
"Byesie daisies, love of my life." You called back, causing you both to giggle at each other, this also makes Megumi hold on to your arm tighter and walk faster.
"So, what did you want?" You asked. Megumi stays silent, just dragging you along with him to who knows where and to do who knows what, hopefully fucking.
You were a bit of a man whore, having mini crushes on Yuji, Megumi, Yuta, and even your teacher Gojo. If any of those men made a move, you would be putty in their hands, which is exactly what you are when Megumi brings you to his room and instantly shuts the door, slams you against the wall, and begins to kiss you roughly.
You obviously reciprocate, hands already going to undo the buttons of his shirt, but he stops you after only popping the first two.
"Stop." He ordered simply, holding your hands between his own. "You need to be punished."
"Punished?" You questioned, looking at him with your hand, now gone from his grasp, resting on your popped hip. "We're not in Fifty Shaded of fucking Gray here."
"Shut up." He said simply, which you obey, already getting caught up in his dick sand.
He then proceeds to pull up his comfy spinny chair, sitting down on it and gesturing for you to get on his lap, which you do quickly. He returns to kissing you, his tongue entering your mouth.
He dominates your tongue with ease, even putting it between his teeth and lightly biting it. He then takes your tongue out of his mouth and proceeds to go down to your neck.
He leaves light kisses throughout, with the occasional lick or two. For such an anti-social weirdo he really seems like he knows what he's doing, which is only further proven when his light kisses turn into rough bites.
He wants people to know who you belong to, and they will after he's done with you.
Megumi then flips you over, so your stomach is on his legs, your pants are also gone, all of which happening within an instant and before you could even tell what's going on.
"Wha-" He cuts you off.
"Like I said, you need to be punished for being such a fucking slut." He's rubbing your bare ass all the while, not that you're complaining.
He does this for a while until suddenly and without warning slaps your ass the force of a truck. You scream from the pain, though not just because it hurts. A bright red handprint starts to form on your left cheek. He goes back to rubbing your ass sensually, almost as if he didn't just hit you there mere seconds earlier.
"Told you." Which is all Megumi says before going straight back to slapping your other cheek. You scream even louder this time because his slap was even harder, if that's even possible.
"Ready?" Megumi asked, catching you off guard since he didn't ask the two times he previously did this. You answer with a nod, but that's not good enough for him. "Use your words."
"Yes." You answered quickly. That's all Megumi needs before going back to slapping you bare ass, this time going one spank after another.
He almost has a rhythm with it, going one after the other in perfect timing. The sounds of his spanking, along with your screaming/moaning fill the room and probably the hallway. His slaps are truly relentless.
At first it just hurt like a bitch, maybe a slight undertone of sexual pleasure, but now you are moaning your ass off, literally. Tears begin to form in your eyes from the pain of his continuous slaps.
You start to think that it will never end, both terrifying and exciting. You belong to belief all at once. But sadly(?), he stops his force of 1,000 supernova spankings.
Megumi sensually rubs your completely red and sensitive ass, putting it back on his lap as he wipes the tears from your eyes.
"Did you learn your lesson?" He asked, giving you a kind smile that completely contrasts what he was just doing.
"Fuck off." You started before getting up and off his lap, heading out the door, but before you did you offered a wink to Megumi and then kissed his cheek. "Hopefully."
He begins to blush, his confident persona totally forgotten at your act of affection.
You walk into the hallway, walking down to your own room, rubbing your sore and hurt ass. That's when Yuji runs into you.
"What the fuck happened?" He asked.
THE END
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fipindustries · 3 months ago
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speaking of misoginy.
its interesting how there are levels to this, level one could be considered as the baseline, background radiation levels of undeconstructed misoginy that one absorbs from a general patriarchal culture, where one might have deeply buried biases and what not. this is the everyday stuff that, while is nice to be mindful of, is not something that bears too much concern and everyone will inevitably have to some degree or another.
level two is like, being a thoughtless jerk, this is the bad boyfriend tier misoginy, when you kind of expect the women in your life to do all emotional and domestic labor for you, when you assume that the role of a woman is to be a mother or a wife, when you think the baseline expectation for any woman is to look attractive for men, when you think women dont have a right to abortion, etc. this is the misoginy that is easy to see and point out and for most reasonable people to see its bad.
and for the longest time i thought this was kind of it. i understood that the etimology of misoginy was "hatred or dislike of women" but i didnt take that literally, much in the same way i dont think a homophobe is literally terrified of a gay person.
but then i came to be exposed to the deepest depths of the red pill in its most current iteration and i was genuenly surprised that holy shit, these people genuenly hate women.
like the previous two cathegories i mentioned at least tend to appreciate women in a patronizing or objectifying way, this third group can barely tolerate their prescence. they regard them with the same hatred one has for dangerous animals or disgusting insects, which frankly kind of shocked me. they value having had sex with lots of women but seem to regard the necessity of interacting with women in order to achieve it as this onerous obstacle. to give you an idea of what im talking about, ive heard them say that is far better to live with lots of "high value men" as roomates because you can encourage and uplift each other as bros do than having to live with a woman in your house who would act as a catty vapid nagging parasite.
there is something so incredibly depressing about that. but i guess it is a little funny that we managed to recreate ancient greece so faithfully
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braisedhoney · 1 year ago
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bear. oh bear. you have got to be kidding me.
THIS IS THE COOLEST THING?? HELLO????
(screaming in tags as always bc it'll get LONG otherwise)
I think a spaceship that makes no sense is the spaceship that makes the most sense for this crew, considering all that happens around here, Captain.
Moist regards,
#0505
honestly #0505, you're right and you should say it. i like to imagine that our ship is a very strange bastion of the crossovers where each character has a spiderverse-like portal we just... drag them into sometimes for whatever shitposts we make lmao ;; it makes sense then that the ship itself just. doesn't abide by the rules of reality. it's an eldritch thing. open a door that led to the second floor? bam, you're already in the room you're looking for. labs? nope, kitchen.
the only time it's ever consistent is like. in a crisis. then for some weird reason everything is in place. (plot convenience, the reason is plot convenience.)
also please dry off your regards, they're going to contaminate the lab samples of the hell mushrooms. o7
#ney's reblogs#captain's gift log (other's art)#holy shit. where do i even begin#god i'm almost at a loss for words i can't believe i missed this while on break#BEAR THIS IS LIKE TEN PAGES OF FULLY COLORED AND SHADED COMICS WHAT THE HELL#FIFTEEN??? IT'S FIFTEEN??????!#okay first two pages. i can't BELIEVE how funny that is#that's not exactly how it works bc the ship is like it's own entity#but my god that's a hilarious mental image because if it explodes every time i get excited about something...#gaster spam is so real tbh#THE CUSTOM UNIFORM FROM HELL OMG#god the space suits were so much fun#i love how grumpy they look it's like something out of a sitcom#NARRY CHASING US WITH THE LINES??#personal headcanon that to build up resistence and stamina crewmates piss off narry and bolt while he chases#it's a dangerous game but it's FUN#i love how the background changes colors depending on the featured character too#we're suffering okay please we didn't mean it i'm not made for exercise orz#THE WHOLE PORTION WITH THE HELL MUSHROOMS??#aside from how ridiculously sick that warped version of my sona looks (IT'S SO COOL?)#i can't get over how hilariously wrong that all went#this is why you ask before you eat stuff not in the cafeteria guys it's important#kat losing her mind when narry gives even the slightest bit of positive attention is precious and funny#he would totally be a cat person but like only bc they leave him alone most of the time ahsbfkskksdk#also?? you included SO MANY of my sona variants in that last one omg#it's just damn cool. thank you for putting in so much effort for the ridiculous lore we somehow built up for this blog#i've hit tag limit like twice and been trimming it down but. i just wanna say that this is crazy and i appreciate the hell out of it#tales aboard the hive
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rindouheart · 2 years ago
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hiii!! how's your day going?? i hope you have a good day♡♡. i was wondering if you could write some headcanons about yukimiya and nagi (i know you said you write for almost everyone but you can ignore nagi if you dont want to write him) having a crush on someone who is really flirty and affectionate??? you can avoid this request if you dont feel like writing dont be pressured please. thank you for reading my request, take care♡♡💕
YUKIMIYA and NAGI falling for an affectionate s/o 🌿
content. pure fluff + gender neutral s/o
author’s note. hi cutie, tysm for your request + AWWW YUKKI MY BB i love him more than my own life and yes, i also write for nagi despite being a btch towards reo (love/hate relationship with this giant marshmallow). I hope you like it!
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YUKIMIYA KENYU
this boy!!!
he’s obviously used to be surrounded by people (especially girls) since he’s a model.
yukki has experienced many love confessions towards him, but he never had the chance to say the ✨ magic words ✨ to someone important for him.
and then there’s you. his best friend since childhood. you, his special someone.
you’ve always loved to give him hugs and to compliment him about his football achievements.
he just goes aww when he sees you.
yukki realises that he’s in love with you when otoya asked him “are you looking for them again?”
holy shit.
he absolutely adores when you give him loads of affection.
how to make him melt on the spot: say “i love you so much, yukki”
oh boy he fell so hard for you.
“you know you’re the best person i’ve ever met in my whole life?”
yukki dot exe stopped working
yukki often has to cover his face when you say something flirty to him.
he’s so embarrassed omg, he can’t even look at you without blushing 😭
he used to think that flirty and extremely affectionate people were kind of a burden, but you made him reconsider his opinion.
you’re so charming and sweet that he wants to protect you
while he was in blue lock and hadn’t access to his phone he missed you A LOT
yukki would probably confess to you on the two weeks break: he invited you to a cafè to meet his teammates and friends.
then, when you all went to the nearby arcade, he won a pink teddy bear in one of those damned claw machines.
he gave it to you and asked if you wanted to be his partner (!!!)
shocked otoya and karasu in the background
NAGI SEISHIRO
clearly clueless
he didn’t mind your clingy behaviour.
at first, reo introduced you to him, because he thought that having a couple more friends wouldn’t harm nagi’s health.
nagi was like “okay, whatever”
you weren’t sure if nagi was okay with too much affection all at once, so you just sat beside him and laid your head on his shoulder.
“you’re comfortable”, you pulled out your phone and started playing a random game.
reo absolutely adores you two as a soon-to-be couple.
nagi has mixed feelings: he loves and hates the fuzzy feeling that you give him.
“sooo… we’ve been picked to participate in this football special programme” reo was the one who told you about blue lock.
“can i give you a hug?” you asked to nagi before leaving
he obviously said yes!! he didn’t mind your affectionate behaviour at all!!
while his stay at blue lock, nagi always thinks about how much he misses your lovely actions towards him.
and when you kiss him on the cheek and say “i’ll miss you, seishiro”
he just 🧍🏻
reo basically died on the spot
nagi will never admit that he has feelings for someone who has an opposite character in comparison with his.
he would invite you to his apartment and play genshin impact with you (adorable)
“how did you become so good at league of legends? this game is so difficult” - nagi loves when you compliment his gaming skills.
you’re the only person who can play badly and not annoy nagi. this is how he tells you “i like you”.
you fell asleep on his shoulder while he was playing fifa on his PlayStation.
he thought that you were the cutest person he’s ever seen (yes, he took a selfie and sent it to reo).
he would confess his love for you by initiating an hug or whatever that has to do with affection.
he’s so awww when he hugs you, this 190cm marshmallow gives the best hugs ever, but he doesn’t know that.
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@rindouheart ‘s headcanons — 01222023
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saiyanwitcher · 4 months ago
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Holy crap, Prince of Death is such a tour de force! The attention to detail, the world-building, the intense drama, the raw emotions - it's all just stunning. 
Admittedly, I know almost nothing about DBZ, and you've done a fantastic job weaving just enough background into the narrative for the uninitiated while making it your own for this universe at the same time. The blend of fantasy and sci-fi on display is so yummy and rich to devour.
And Max just needs the biggest hug, ugh. At least he's together with Charles... (for now?!) - tho, I can already picture the angst and drama ahead when Max wakes up - poor thing bears the weight of duty so heavily and personally (and honorably).
And Alonso - omg!! Love how he calls Max out for his shit, protects him, teaches him, just - everything about him in his role in this AU is gold.
Hopefully Carlos stops being a little punk - maybe once he realizes that Alonso has also sent his prince to the same destination that he set for Charles (which I'm dying to see where that it is, btw - with pop culture in my head, I can see anything from Dagobah to Hoth to Vormir to... even Mars lol - whatever you choose, I know it will be great), or once Carlos has an inevitable reconciliation and he sees just compatible Max & Charles truly are... such potential! ✨
I did have higher hopes for George, ugh. He should know better than to follow in his master's vile footsteps, but otherwise, he makes for a rich villain. And that's to say nothing of Jos - you've done an excellent job making him truly repulsive with his physical & emotional abuse in the name of controlling Max. And I absolutely cannot wait for him to get his just deserts - to be on the receiving end of Max letting the full force of his power loose, hair & eyes flaming as he unleashes raw fury - oh, please, please, let it be so! (Tho, no matter how Jos goes down, it will still be infinitely rewarding).
... okay, this got way longer than I thought, so my apologies 🤭 But in short, this fic is just outta-this-world stellar. Thank you so much for sharing and I look forward to reading more ❤🚀
Hello there!
I've really tried my hardest to explain things thoroughly and adapt the universe to make it my own, so I'm glad people aren't like . . . wtf are you talking about? 😅
Alonso is so amazing and fit this roll perfectly in my head, I'm glad it's translating on paper. While he's not Max's or Charles' real dad, he's the father they both deserve.
Carlos is in for some major transformation of character in part 2 as well as George. Those two need some growth and perspective, and they will be getting both (for better or worse) as the story goes on.
I'm so glad you mentioned the little sneak peak I gave for Max's potential in ch 12! I didn't get a lot of comments on it, but in his rage and grief, trying to protect himself, he tapped into something that he will need to find again later. Now, did he find it because it was about Charles? Or has he always had it and just couldn't break through 👀 Regardless, there will be more exploration in part 2.
Max is having the hardest time the poor baby! But you are right . . . when he wakes up 👀 He is so confused lol. In fact, enjoy a little piece:
A soft surface beneath him felt strangely comforting against his back, but the sight of the stars whizzing by outside the familiar red-tinted glass disoriented him. 
The robotic feminine voice of the scouting pod continued to drone on in the background, its words barely registering as Max struggled to make sense of the situation. 
“. . . initiating vapor bath reversal protocol. You are now one parsec away from your destination. . . ”
Limbs moving slowly, body trying to regain control, Max felt the seat surface behind him gently rise, before lowering again. His heart skipped a beat as he realized he was in the scouting pod meant for Charles to flee Jos’ base ship.
Stunned, Max whipped around to discover that the soft surface his back had been resting against was Charles’ chest, still moving gently with each slow breath. 
Relief flooded through him when he spotted the Eldri resting behind him, still unconscious, but seemingly unharmed.
His relief was short-lived, when the memories of the launch deck came rushing back.
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bababaka · 7 months ago
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Tell me a story. And i'll tell you a thousand more - Bade x reader
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Summary: Hollywood Arts, the most privilleged arts school in the USA. And amongst many young talented teens, you were chosen to enter it. To be study there and be part of it. You couldn't believe it.
"Holy shit! I got in!"
This will change your life! And you are determined to make the most of it.
Warnings: swear words, not edited completely, i just needed to get this out of drafts, i will later edit.. And... that's it i guess? Like, bullying, mean teachers, but nothing much i guess. Oh, i also used google translate. So yeah. Have fun.
Author's note: so, i had this in my drafts for a while. I always had a crush on these two, and nobody wrote a fic with those two that fulfilled my need for them, so... here i am. Trying to mash my thoughts together and write something at least nice or ok. Im trying to write well. Don't have high expectations, im not a seasoned writer yet. Might never be. Also, unfortunately for me and you guys, this is a multichapter fanfiction. Sooo, you'll have to bear with me with slooooow updates. And im sorry for that. Anyways, enough chit chat, i present you, the chapter one to this mess.
Chapter 1 : I got in!
“Hollywood Arts”. The most privileged arts school in the United States of America. Only the most talented people passed the test. The list of competitors was huge. But, here you were, Y/N Y/L/N, in front of the school gates. You had passed the test, thousands of people competing against each other, and you had succeeded.
Honestly, it seemed too good to be true. The majesty of the construction, students, certainly in their second and third year, full of confidence, dancing, singing, playing, drawing, acting and even proclaiming poetry.
This was too much to digest.
You could barely believe it when you read the email, your mother cheering and shouting in the background, while you remained frozen staring at the computer, reading and re-reading your school admission.
The best arts school in the country.
You entered.
Holy shit! I entered!
You have always been passionate about dancing.
It all started when your mother caught you in your room dancing to “hips don’t lie” in a completely clumsy and enthusiastic way. She then decided to take you to dance classes. You were 4 years old.
Years passed and you fell in love.
Dancing was expressing yourself. Tell a story. Saying what words were sometimes unable to express. Sadness. Happiness. Emotion. Desire. Anger. Feelings in their purest form.
And then, you discovered ballet.
Ballet made your heart race in a way nothing else did. The slow and elegant steps, fast and rigorous. Dancing made you feel alive, happy, ecstatic.
At the height of your 10 years, watching a small part of the film your mother was watching, Black Swan, before her noticing your presence and kicking you out to your room, you found yourself trapped, in a trance, enchanted by the dance, by the way how the actress moved, how she leapt into the air and landed softly on the stage.
The next day, you begged your mother to take you to ballet classes.
At first, it was difficult. The dance classes previously were fun, relaxed. Here, they asked for excellence. Your teacher was strict and classmates were mean. There were many days when you came home crying or upset. Your mother tried to change classes, convince you to go back to dance classes, but you were stubborn. And you were more than determined to show everyone, your teacher, your classmates, that you were good, that you could be the best. So you did what you could, trained and trained, danced until your toes grew calluses and you could no longer support yourself properly.
It was difficult, but now, more than ever, you saw the results of your efforts. Oh, how you would love to see the faces of the girls who tried to get into the school but failed. You did it.
#Suckit
You would love to rub it in each of their faces. But, you didn't have time for that. What you had to do was take a deep breath, enter those gates and find where your first class would be.
Here we go.
The hallways were crazy, lost students like you walked by, friends who hadn't seen each other for the entire vacation and others who argued, dissatisfied with the classes they fell into.
Although you felt tempted to ask one of the students, you thought it would be safer to ask an adult. Supervisor, coordinator, any adult. A teacher, janitor.
You didn't trust students, especially at a talent school, the ego and arrogance must be astronomical.
You watched Glee. You didn't want to end up in a crackhouse.
But unfortunately, the hallways were full of teenagers, and there was no teacher, sign, or voices coming out of speakers magically guiding you in the direction of your next class.
You look around, searching for someone who was as lost as you. You didn't want to be the only idiot who didn't know their way around.
You find something similar.
A boy your age, talking and gesturing. He seemed to be asking a paralyzed girl for directions. She didn't even seem to be paying attention.
You didn't know exactly why she was perplexed, maybe he was saying absurd things, but you wouldn't be surprised if the cause of the paralysis was the boy's beauty.
He was beautiful. Dark skin, brown hair, delicate features, not to the point of being androgynous, but of being harmonious, pleasing to the eye. A relaxed brown look, although it is becoming confused and dull.
You decided to step in and save the girl the embarrassment of being caught drooling, and, as a bonus, get the information you so desperately wanted. The direction for your next class, acting.
– Excuse me, uh, I'm lost. Could you help me?
This seemed to work. The boy's posture relaxed, and the girl, in turn, came out of her trance and began to glare at you, shooting lasers from her eyes.
The boy smiled. And, wow. He had incredibly white teeth, and it looked like you were the only girl in the world, the tiny curve of his mouth pulled you in like he was the center of the Earth. The look that had a charm, brown like melted chocolate and all you wanted was to dive in and get lost in them.
Perhaps you have entered a trance.
But as soon as he started talking, you forced yourself to pay attention and not make a fool of yourself.
– I'm also lost. I was asking her – he turned to the “laser beam look”, who immediately stopped with the murderous expression. – But I don’t think you know, do you?
– What? I know! Of course I know! Nobody knows more than me! – and then she started walking, supposedly in the direction of the room where the boy had his class. – You're a first year, right? – she asked the pretty boy, completely ignoring you.
He looked at you sideways.
– Uh, yes, yes, I am. – She nods, and turns forward, determined, as she starts talking without stopping.
She says her name, Trina Vega, how she got into school, how she is so talented at so many things, how popular she was, and that they would make a great couple. At this part, you were shocked, eyes widening quickly, mouth falling open. She was… direct.
And maybe a little clueless, considering that the boy started to walk more slowly, putting distance between him and Trina, and standing next to you.
He leans into your side.
– She's a little… eccentric…
You laugh.
– That may be an understatement. – You look at Trina, who continued to talk. – Look, she hasn't even noticed that you're not paying attention, or even close to her.
It was his turn to laugh.
– Yeah… – He clears his throat. – I'm Beck, nice to meet you. – He stops for a moment, and extends his hand to you.
You say your name and take his hand, shaking it. Soon he started walking again so as not to lose sight of Trina, who was still talking.
– You’re a first year too, right? – You nod in response. – Yeah, I imagined it. Which course did you enroll in?
– Dance, more specifically, ballet. You?
– Cool. I came to do drama, acting.
– Cool. – You smile, he reciprocates.
For a moment, you forgot what you were saying, going and even thinking. He was cute, handsome and had a nice voice to listen to, something rare coming from a teenager. The short hair thrown to the side, looked soft, made you want to run your fingers through the strands.
The cute boy's small, happy smile was damaging your brain, because the world disappeared around him and you couldn't think about anything else.
Until, finally, Trina realized that Beck wasn't close to her, much less listening to what she was saying.
– Hey! – she called. You turned to her, who had a frown that turned into a forced smile. – We arrived, and you didn’t tell me your name. – She leans over and smiles at Beck.
You were ignored, again.
– Oh, it's Beck. And this is. – He tries to introduce you, say you name and be polite. But Trina interrups him, muttering “whatever” and heading back to the door.
Well, that was nice.
– Sikowits, I brought two lost students. – Then the bell rings, and Trina turns to Beck. – I'll see you around, Beck. – He blinked. And gone, probably to his own class.
– Please don't. – Beck says, with a pained expression. But it was too late, Trina couldn't hear him anymore, or at least, she pretended not to.
You sympathized with the situation.
It seems that being too handsome had its downsides.
His attention returned to the teacher who was at the door.
Bald, messy hair and beard, a slightly unbalanced look, layer after layer of clothing, he had a sloppy style. Maybe he was a hippie. Or just weird. It was probably both.
The hippie professor smiled, in a warm, disturbing way (you seriously wondered if that man was sane. You hoped he was).
– Be welcome! What are your names?
Beck withdraws into himself, becoming shy. How cute.
– Beck Oliver.
The please-don't-be-crazy teacher leans over to look at a list that was laid out on the table. The list of student names.
He turns to the boy beside him.
– Oliver? Alberto Oliver?
Beck puts his hand on the back of his head, looks at you sideways, and nods.
– Yes, but I prefer Beck.
– Understood! Come in, come in. – He calls Beck with his hand enthusiastically, the boy enters and sits in one of the chairs. Then, the bald professor turns to you. – Your name?
You say your full name.
– Oh yes. It's here too. Come in and sit down. The class is about to start. I just have to find the lost and innocent sheep that are lost in the corridors.
You made a face when you heard the phrase… He sounded so weird that way…
As long as he didn't kill or abuse anyone and was a good teacher, you wouldn't have a problem.
You entered the room and deciding quickly and safely, you turned to Beck, hoping to find an empty seat next to the boy. But, as expected, all the seats evaporated, and Oliver found himself surrounded by people, mostly girls.
You sighed and sat in the front, next to a girl with red hair (it didn't look natural, but you'd ask later) who had a friendly smile on her face. It seemed like a good option.
You sat down, and introduced yourself. The girl smiled, with her white teeth and a gentle and innocent aura formed around her.
– I'm Cat!
You smiled, enchanted by the redhead's cuteness.
– Cat? Like the animal? – the girl walked away, running her hand through her hair, her brow furrowed.
– What? What do you mean by that?
– No! I'm just saying that cat sounds like a kitten. – You explained yourself, nervously. You didn't want to scare the girl.
– Kittens? I like kittens! They're so cute!
You let out the breath you were holding. Cat returned to the bubble of innocence and happiness that she was at the beginning.
– Yes, they are.
Then, the professor, Sikowitz, if that was really what Trina called him, came back into the room, with a coconut and straw in one hand, and sunglasses in the other.
– Well done, class! I'm not going to ask you to introduce yourselves. You will improvise a scene. You will play the person next to you, I don't care if you don't know each other. Create a character and then live the character!
The Hippie Man asked them one by one to come forward in front of the class.
There were some interesting and funny monologues.
A black boy, with dreadlocks, a beautiful smile and lots of charm, played a shy nerd who stuttered around girls and had a puppet who made derogatory comments about the situation.
The scene was hilarious. Especially when he started interacting with the students while in character.
There were some very good ones.
Beck, who, to your surprise, played one of the girls surrounding him, and, unfortunately for Sikowitz, used the teacher as his scene partner. He was visibly uncomfortable. And the girl too. Shrinking in her chair as Beck performed, exposing how irritating she was.
She'll probably leave the boy alone after this.
Probably.
There was also another girl, brown hair, black leather jacket and pants. She was incredible. Before getting into character, she seemed closed off, grumpy, with a frown on her face. But, as soon as the scene began, her entire expression and body language changed to a more clumsy and agitated girl like a nice but extremely clumsy girl.
And other performances could improve. You were part of the last group. See, you were a dancer, not an actress. You knew you had to take acting classes, but that didn't mean it was your strong point.
You had to play Cat. You weren't horrible, but you could have done better. When he had to face all the attentive eyes of your classmates and the teacher, a chill took over your stomach and a pressure to not make mistakes was placed in your mind. At first, it was difficult, but as the scene developed, your performance improved.
As the last student finished presentation, the teacher stood up, applauding.
– Very good! You have to learn and perfect the ability to transform into a character in a short time, to analyze your character and to transform yourself in the snap of a finger. – He snapped his fingers right in your face, you jerked away reflexively, startling yourself. He smiled. And the bell rang. – Anyway. That's all for today. You even had the chance to socialize and get to know each other. – he said as everyone got up and left. You did the same, gathered your things and stood up. You were at the door when you heard him sigh and murmur:
– Ah, being young, I can remember what it was like to have dreams and hope.
…You were sure this wasn't normal…
You heard your name. You turned around, and saw red hair, you looked down, realizing that Cat was smaller than you. That made her even cuter.
– What class do you have now?
You searched your pockets, in the slim hope of finding your schedule. After long, embarrassing moments, you found it and read it out loud.
– Ballet.
– Oh, I have singing lessons now – Cat seemed to deflate. But only for a few seconds. – Do you want to sit with me at lunch?
You responded quickly, jumping at the opportunity of not having to be alone during lunch.
– Yes of course! – You looked around, remembering Beck, hoping to see him, but in vain, he had already disappeared into the corridors. But, you didn't let that bother, or sadden you, you would invite him to sit with you at lunch, in the low probability of being able to do so before the boy was bombarded by people.
– OK! Until lunch then!
Finding the ballet class was easy. You just followed the smell of pain, tears, deceit and extreme competition.
…Actually, you just followed the girls in buns and leotards.
You entered the room, or rather dance salon. The floor was smooth and black, a large mirror covering the entire wall, a large speaker and a piano at the back of the room.
The teacher, apparently, was not there. But the students were already stretching. Some in groups, others alone.
You saw some faces you had already anticipated. The rich, mean girls who were born doing ballet. The girl obsessed and completely focused on doing her best, making her potentially meaner than the other girls. The pretty boy who, because he does ballet, thinks he's cool and that everyone is in love with him. The boy who feels the need to say all the time that he's not gay, he just likes to express himself through dancing!
However, you also saw other faces you hadn't seen before, and that was a pleasant surprise. Dealing with the same types of people became boring.
Hollywood Arts would be a beginning, not only of your artistic career, but of a social life in ballet. I didn't want to ruin your high school experience with drama, toxicity, and cliques.
But unfortunately, you didn't have the best start. Because while you were analyzing and admiring everything around you, your teacher arrived, and it was then that you noticed, everyone was stretched out and dressed appropriately, while you were still standing, wearing jeans, sneakers and a shirt. No stretching.
It was instantaneous. Not only did the teacher's eyes land on you. The entire room was focused on you.
Shit. You flinched.
– You're late. – The teacher says, approaching you, like a predator approaches its prey. A panther, walking elegantly and silently, with total firmness and confidence, about to attack a beautiful and vulnerable little rabbit. The panther knows that the rabbit is already dead. Only a matter of time for death to actually occur, until the panther snatches the prey.
The bunny becomes alert, realizing the danger. Look around. Pay attention to your ears and sharpen your vision.
– The bell hasn't rung yet and class starts in 3 minutes.
The panther stops. Paying attention to the victim's movements, but at no time revealing their position or losing their calm.
– Exactly. 3 minutes and you're like this. – She points to your clothes, with clear disdain. The rabbit flinches, sensing claws wrapping around its fur. – Without the leotard and without stretching. Unprepared. I start my class on time, warm-ups start when the bell rings. So, miss late, you have – the teacher glanced briefly at the clock and turned her eyes to you. – 2 minutes to put on your clothes and stretch, otherwise you will go to detention and will not be able to participate in this class.
The rabbit begins to struggle, panic arising as it sees the possibility of death right in front of it.
– But just to get to the bathroom takes a minute.
The teacher smiles, in a sadistic and amused way.
– Then, I suggest you run.
Crunch! Fur turning scarlet, sharp fangs tearing flesh, paws playing with the limp, lifeless body.
You took off. Hearing giggles and one last image of the teacher's smile
The predator was sated. For now.
You admitted it. You've never stretched so quickly and inefficiently, nor were you so frivolous when adjusting your tights.
But, it was what you had to offer at that moment.
– Miss late! You have exceeded your time of 2 minutes, but as I am in a good mood I will let it pass. Let it serve as a warning to everyone. Be prepared BEFORE class starts. Otherwise, well, you don't want to find out. Now, don't just stand there, join the warm-up!
And you fumbled a little out of pure nervousness, and heard some giggling around, but after a few minutes, you were already in your element.
The warm-up was brutal.
Yes, of course, you already had years of ballet, but still, the teacher seemed to want you to kill yourself in the warm-up. Because it lasted 40 minutes.
To you, it felt like two hours.
Damn, who warms up for 40 minutes? Well, apparently, your new teacher.
When the warm-up, which lasts longer and is heavier than you're used to, finally ends, you're sweating profusely and out of breath. Some were in the same state as you, others were worse, and a group of girls were in better shape, they were sweaty and out of breath, but still, visibly more composed.
The teacher waited in silence for a few moments. Just analyzing all the students.
The teacher approaches the group of 5 who were sitting on the floor, taking in lots of air, barely avoiding getting sick. Some were coughing.
– Pathetic. – She said, her lips lifting in disgust and disdain. – What would your names be?
The group fumbled among themselves, saying full names, others just trying and failing in between, preferring to breathe. One boy almost threw up.
The teacher put her hands in the air and waved them. Exasperated.
– Stop, stop, stop. Are you by any chance animals? Don't know how to speak one at a time? – she sighs. – What were you thinking when they accepted you? Hmph… Disgusting…
– Why does every ballet teacher have to be mean? – a girl next to you commented quietly. You laughed quietly, bitterly, as you watched the teacher insult the poor young teens on the floor.
– It must be something they need to have on their resume. “Expert in torturing teenagers.” – You responded in an equally silent tone.
– Also, didn’t she have a vote in the admission of students? Why does she complain about the school's admissions system if she is part of it?
You shrugged.
– Some evil plan to destroy our self-esteem?
The girl quickly turned to you, a small smile on her face and an outstretched hand, as subtle as she could without drawing the teacher's attention.
– I'm Daisy.
You introduced yourself.
And in mutual and silent agreement, they turned to the teacher. You feared what would happen if the teacher caught the students talking.
Your attention returned to the scene and you only heard the last two names of the group. All red, from shame or exhaustion, you didn't know. The teacher didn't answer anything, just left them on the floor, recovering, and started walking around the room, quickly passing in front of each student.
– You are… Pathetic. Some more than others. But – she made a show of sighing loudly. – As you were accepted, I will make you true artists, dancers. You must breathe ballet, move with elegance and dexterity at all times, and face the world, the stage without fear. The classes will be difficult, long and will demand determination and strength from each person. And I will not hesitate to take punitive action against those who are not taking this seriously. Because, as your teacher, your performance in the future will reflect on my image. Therefore, now they will imitate me. I'm the best, and so will you.
The teacher pauses, and you can hear the tension in the air, the nervousness and everyone shifting in their seats, anxious.
– Am I understood?
Several voices sounded throughout the room, including yours. All saying yes. The teacher smiled.
– Good. Now, let's start the class.
You swallowed hard, already feeling tired, but still, strangely excited. It would be a challenge, and you loved difficult things.
After painful and sadistic hours (yes, hours!), the class was finally released for lunch, and then afternoon classes.
The teacher informed them that the ballet class had an exclusive bathroom and that if they wanted (but, from the disgusted way she sounded, it seemed more like a requirement) they could take a shower there.
You perked up when you heard this, and most of the students did too. It would be horrible to have to continue at school with all that crust of sweat on your body.
So, after the teacher left, everyone packed their things and went to either take a shower or have lunch.
You were more than ready to head to the bathroom and shower. You were tired, but the sweat on your body bothered you more than fatigue.
– Hey, are you going to eat or take a shower first?
You looked to the side. The girl you talked to after the warm-up. Was it Daphne? Daniela? Delilah? No, that was ridiculous. It was something with D.
– Im going to the shower. I couldn't eat something feeling dirty.
– You sure? As we are being released early, the queue is non-existent to buy… Anything.
– I'm sure. – You smiled, slightly touched by the girl’s kindness. She waved and said goodbye to you, leaving for lunch.
After a long and well-deserved shower, you head to the cafeteria where the food was. Heavens, how hungry you were!
Arriving in the area, you began looking for Cat and Beck. Not surprisingly, you found Beck first. Surrounded by people, girls and boys.
You decide to try to get past the crowd and rescue Beck, who now seems overwhelmed.
You squeeze between people, making your way through elbows and curses, until you reach the center, feeling several hateful looks on you.
Beck's face lights up when he sees you, and he calls your name, approaching you.
– Hey, what are you doing? – he asks, ignoring the entire crowd around him, and you can feel the commotion that this generates. You smile, focusing on nothing more than the boy in front of you.
– Trying to save you from this crowd by inviting you to lunch with me and Cat.
– Oh, please! I would love to.
You swear something happened around you. People cursed him, complained, maybe even hit you, but your brain melted a little when you saw Oliver's smile. A captivating, happy, friendly expression. It seemed like the air around him shimmered and exuded something almost surreal.
What brought you back to reality was a tap on your shoulder.
– So, where are you sitting? – Beck asked and then you realized, the crowd had dissipated and only the pretty boy was by your side.
– Uh, actually, I haven't chosen the table, nor have I found Cat yet. – You then start looking for the redhead. The brunette at his side.
– Ah, I see… Who is Cat? Your pet? Are animals even allowed at school?
You laugh.
– No, no. She's a girl I met today, in drama class, while you were being surrounded by… Everyone…
Beck sighed and nodded in a more crestfallen manner. You stop looking around for a moment, to fix your eyes on him.
– Does this happen a lot? You're famous and I'm the only one who didn't notice?
– No, I'm not famous, at least not yet. I'm just pretty. – He shrugs lightly, as if it weren't a big deal. And you stop walking, and let out a disbelieving laugh. This time, his lips move to form a cocky smile.
– What? Are you going to say i'm not? – he prods you, and you fumble over your words, not wanting to deny it, but certainly not wanting to confirm it either. However, to your relief, he just laughs at your reaction and continues talking. – People have always approached me because of my – he raises his hands to gesture quotation marks with his fingers. - "exotic beauty". Eventually, I just got used to it.
You observe the boy next to you. Really analyzes him.
He didn't seem like the kind of boy who was an asshole, who thought he was better than everyone else, who believed he had everyone at his feet, when he really didn't.
Beck just seemed aware of the reality he found himself in. After all, he was handsome. Short but silky hair, great style of clothing that sold the cool kid look. If you had to guess, he seemed like a relaxed but extremely cunning type of boy. The guy who smiled at everyone, but had a mouth that dripped with venom.
You had your thoughts interrupted by a high-pitched female voice calling your name. Cat. He took one last look at Beck, who maintained a relaxed posture and the remains of a smile.
Well, you deduced, only time will show Oliver's true face, whatever it may be.
– Cat! I was looking for you! – you approached the redhead. She lit up.
– And, did you find me?
– Apparently, you found me. – When saying this, the redhead makes a sad expression.
– Oh, wow, what a shame. – You frowned, not understanding the line of reasoning, but before you could say anything, Cat was already addressing Beck. – Hi, I'm Cat. – she introduced herself, waving energetically.
Beck laughed, like you would laugh at something cute a puppy did, and waved back, but without the redhead's excessive enthusiasm.
You guys go look for a table. And when they find it, they realize they had nothing to eat. Luckily there was a food truck nearby, and everyone ordered something.
At the table, everyone talked about themselves. You revealed that although it inspired you, you never saw the film Black Swan. Cat talked about her love for purple giraffes and her brother. You were worried at that part, you didn't know if the small girl was joking or not.
Beck talked about how he moved from Canada with his parents to Los Angeles just for school, and talked excitedly about how he liked cars and was looking forward to getting his own.
When they heard sobs around them, that's when they left the bubble they were in.
– You're a bitch!
A blonde girl, green eyes, swollen and moist. She was the one who jumped out of her chair and screamed. Despite her anguished expression, she looked firmly at the table in front of her, and the person who was sitting there.
You recognized who it was from your theater class. She had a gothic style. Eyeliner, black nails, combat boots and dark clothes.
The green-eyed goth girl, you noticed, raised her eyebrow and took her eyes in a deliberate and prolonged manner to the bare legs of the girl in front of her.
– I'm not the one with the scraped knees.
She smiled cruelly, and amidst the deadly silence, a few muffled giggles could be heard.
The blonde girl choked. Tries to justify herself, you think she had says about a skateboard, but was unsuccessful. Then she resignes herself to letting out a sob and running away.
The goth turned her smile into a frown, and looked around, the many eyes in her direction. She faced everyone and with a loud, rude and direct voice, she shouted.
– What are you looking at? – and everyone went back to doing what they did before. Well, you asume that everyone had done it, you didn't bother to check. You just kept your attention on the girl. Curious. You wanted to know what had happened. And how she had made someone cry on the first day of school.
You hated this type of attitude, behavior, personality. You might not be the kindest girl in the world, but you certainly weren't cruel. Even when you felt the urge to be.
It was a shame that such a beautiful girl, with brown hair and green eyes, could be so horrible.
You assumed that beauty would spoil a person. You just hoped Beck wouldn't turn out to be that kind of person. Then, you finally returned your gaze to the table, and discovered that you weren't the only one who remained looking at her. The pretty boy also had his sights set on the table that only had one mean girl on it.
– She's mean. – Cat spoke up, breaking the silence as well as Beck's admiration and thoughts.
– She is. – Beck agrees, nonchalant.
You remain silent, taking one last look in the girl's direction.
It doesn't take long before the bell rings. You say goodbye to them both and head towards classes in the afternoon. The part of your curriculum is completely normal and, after theater and ballet classes, terribly boring.
Chemistry, geography and math classes stretched out, as if they had no end, like a rubber band that when it thought it was about to break, it stretched a little more. However, it didn't matter anymore, you were finally free to go home.
You were exhausted, physically, mentally and spiritually. Names of teachers, subjects, exercises, classmates piling up and colliding in your brain. You had absolutely no energy for anything.
Unfortunately for you, however, when you open the door to your house, you come across your mother, waiting, sitting in a chair, almost jumping with excitement. The true image of a puppy anxiously waiting for its owner.
Your heart is heavy, and your body and soul scream with frustration. You just wanted your bed. But, your mother sees you and you simply accept that you would have to stay awake for a few more moments.
Your mother spews questions one after another at you.
"How it was?"
“Have you made friends yet?”
“Are all teachers weird?”
“Is there anyone famous?”
“Did they treat you well?”
"Are you well?"
"Are you hungry? I made dinner!”
While eating, you told your mother everything, it didn't take long for you to get excited too, even though you were tired.
You leave out some details, like teachers and some bad people, but otherwise, you confess everything. The many beautiful people, with a few exceptions, the strange talents and habits you noticed, strange and normal teachers.
However, sleepiness and tiredness manifested itself through yawning and heavy eyes. Your mother, realizing this, immediately sends you up to your room to get some sleep.
After a relaxing shower, you lay down on your bed, comfortable under the blankets.
Ah, finally.
Chapter 2
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shootinwebs · 7 months ago
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( content notes: racism, colonialism, enslavement implied )
when i stop to think about it, i can't help but dwell on how freaking lonely alastor must be. i mean yeah he's a horrible little shit lmfao but, i feel, also misunderstood to a degree.
his racial and ethnic background (particularly in new orleans in his time, and the disturbing implications of that for, most likely, his mother) possibly making it tough for him to relate to most of the people around him in hell, even if they're also mixed race or from the same time period. the intersectionality of multiple effects of colonialism have a particular daily heaviness on him (and i mean hell is probably FULL of white nationalists lol) that he doesn't feel he can talk about to just anyone. it's beyond exhausting to have to explain your entire background just for anyone to get the gist of the weight you're carrying.
his vodou practice most likely being viewed as part of his evil powers (when that's not what vodou is), his stereotypical transatlantic radio voice and personality likely being just as fake as his smile probably is, people likely assuming he has no moral code whatsoever, and whatever the hell happened between him and vox, as well as the seven year thing.
it makes me wonder if some of what he does is out of loneliness, and maybe that could be why his intentions seem all over the place at times. like if he has niffty under a deal, but, unlike with husk, he's not cruel to her, he just wants her around.
and, holy shit, his seemingly unconditional friendship towards mimzy, despite how it seems she has betrayed his trust more than once before episode five. maybe he feels he can't bear to lose any friends, no matter how they break his heart.
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shenanigans-and-imagines · 4 months ago
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Evie (Ace!Tav) Playthrough Day 4
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(I love Evie in this fit)
Day 1… Day 3- Day 5
Astarion x Evie (Ace!Tav) Masterlist
For the uninitiated, I wrote a Tav well before I ever had a chance to play the game. Now, I finally can and thought it might be fun for my first play through to be as that Tav. Or, at least as much as the game play will allow me.
These are just some of my notes and scattered highlights that I thought would be fun to share.
Let me know if you think if I should continue this and any suggestions you might have.
So much happened you guys holy shit!!!
Technically this is a combination of two days, since I didn't have time last night and figured I'd wait until after I played some more today (there is just so much of this game I feel like two hour sessions barely scratch the surface)
First off, it took me way too long to figure out how to deactivate the traps in the back cavern in the Emerald Grove
Legitimately nearly died twice; if it weren't for my saves I would have
Not ashamed to admit, I needed to google it; I have never claimed to be a "gamer"
Still got it sorted (and if anybody knows how to get to that center bit in the middle of the cavern, please let me know)
After that decided to go after best girl Karlach
Ran into the Owl Bear cave first and I am upset
I *really* didn't want to kill the Owl Bear mama, but even with non-lethal damage the cub still eats it's mother; seems like it all is the same in the end
I'm now thinking more and more that Evie and Shadowheart get to be good friends; Evie takes a more benefit of the doubt approach to people, and I don't think she knows enough about the Gods and Shar specifically to have many thoughts on the subject
I've been purposefully handing all the books and other info to whoever else is there so Evie doesn't get the info from reading
Lae'zel and Shadowheart are also majorly at each other's throats in the first act
Lae'zel also would not be a fan of Evie; Evie comparatively talks way too much for Lae'zel's taste (+11 to Persuasion will do that to a person) (did I mention I love bards)
Did eventually get to Karlach and she's so great guys! I knew I was going to love her, but I *love* her
She deserves to wreck the Paladins of Tyr hide out, as a treat
(That one bitch was giving me so much trouble, thank God for Wyll's Eldritch Blast or we would have been spending all our actions just trying to keep up)
I am once again faced with not being able to punch a ginger bitch because of *consequences*
Also, I hate all the options they give you when talking to Wyll after he's transformed into a devil
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None of this is what Evie would say to him!
Either way though, I am secure in the fact that Wyll would like Evie (even if he's not a fan of her trust in Astarion)
So, one long rest later and we're heading towards the Blighted Villiage; Astarion, Gale and Karlach in toe
Came across the boar and Astarion really is so suspicious
I also think at this point Astarion really doesn't know what to make of Evie; placing her in category bleeding heart no doubt and not certain of her abilities
She's a good talker, as she's able to convince the goblins to let them pass without a fight
On the other hand, she did assists Gale with his little problem, sacrificing a necklace of Dancing Lights
Also it doesn't help that she was nice to a gnome
I think what starts to change his mind though is when they meet Raphael on the road
I really do wish you could give Gur as a background, because even if Evie didn't grow up in the caravan, I do think just culturally she'd pick up on stuff
Not trusting devils I'm sure is top of the list
I wasn't expecting to have Evie so viscerally mistrusting of Raphael, but it felt right to play it that way
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I'm not sure who he'd remind her of in her past, but I do think there is something beyond just him being a devil that rubs her the wrong way
Either way, her rejection of a devil's bargain that would not only enslave her, but likely them as well, even in exchange for a cure does re-color some things
Not sure where to insert this in the grand scheme of the narrative, but Evie did let Astarion open the door on the orger and hobgoblin
Evie's talking did not help in this situation
I know the narrative makes it clear what's happening, but I'm thinking Evie might have had a random ace blind spot moment
Like she's not totally naive about sex, but when it's usually the last thing on your mind (and you just talked with a devil), it's not the first thing you picture at the sound of banging
Not her smoothest moment; (honestly the sudden violence is a god send for everyone not to ask her more questions about it)
Either way, went back to the grove with some of the infernal iron and got Karlach stabilized at least
I love Karlach and Wyll's friendship, I support wholesome ships; low key starting to ship her with Dammon though
He's real cute, Karlach deserves a nice guy, and you know he'd roll with the punches
Another long rest later and we're here
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The scene
I've been thinking about the build up to this scene
Obviously we know in origins it's after Astarion has a vision of Cazador and wanting to push the limits of his new found freedom by going against one of his rules
But I keep coming back to why Evie
Astarion can likely smell something being wrong with Gale's blood, Wyll just turned into a devil and would likely kill him, Karlach's blood is literal fire, and Lae'zel would also absolutely kill him
That leaves Shadowheart and Evie
Shadowheart is a big question mark to him; she follows Shar, maybe she might even like being bitten
But then there's Evie who has shown time and time again that she wants to help
This is about survival after all, and it would only be a taste
IDK, exploring it; add it to the list of possible future fics
But Evie obviously does wake up and does allow Astarion to bite her
As for Evie's motivations as to why, yes, Astarion is a prickly bastard, but he's in the same boat as the rest of them
If he wanted to hurt them, surely he would have done it by now
She recognizes the look in his eyes, Gods know she's worn it enough; the man is starving, the fact he hasn't done anything until now says a lot
This is definitely the shift in her and Astarion's relationship where they start to actually warm up to each other
So next morning gang wakes up, Evie stands up to Astarion saying she trusts him and heads out again towards the goblin camp; Shadowheart, Astarion and Lae'zel in toe
So Evie's current standing with the party;
Gale has disclosed his condition and gotten the first magical item; high rating with Evie, thinks of her as somebody who he can not only trust, but as someone who has shown bravery and true kindness (not to mention eloquence); maybe starting to form an...appreciation
Wyll has turned into a devil and certainly likes Evie, but maybe a little doubtful in her trust in Astarion and some dealings with the goblins
Shadowheart; genuinely trusts Evie as she's revealed her ambitions as a follower of Shar, and used the artifact in front of Evie in order to protect them from the influence of The Absolute (also might be starting to crush on her, but Evie has not been taking the opportunity to flirt)
Karlach: too soon to tell, but seems like a good person
Lae'zel: not a fan, too weak willed and doesn't know her place; talks too much
Astarion; unsure, certainly knows he can trust her now, to an extent; still too much of a bleeding heart, but then again, it's helped him; at the very least she knows to draw the line with devils and willing to kill to stay alive, over all a fair ally to have
Oh! I can't believe I forgot about my new best boy!
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Scratch!
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imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese · 2 months ago
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Destinytober24: Day 31 - Trick or Treat
Eris and the Drifter discuss donning masks of their own.
Link to Ao3 if you prefer to read it there
"Oh wow! Nice Eris costume!"
Eris Morn stiffened on the landing. The sounds of the Bazar were still filtering down the stairwell from above. Below her, the noises from Ada's synthweave loom were rhythmic and persistent.
Three guardians clustered around her. They had been coming up the stairs and now were stopped in front of her, enthusiastically talking, seemingly oblivious to the fact that they were also in her way.
"How'd you get the mask so realistic?" the Titan asked. He wore a garish outfit accented with luminescent spiked projections in impractical locations for spikes to be. The mask he was wearing was that of Rahool. It was not flattering.
"Did you make it yourself?" the Hunter asked. She wore a large pumpkin on her head. Eris eyed the deep black applied to the rest of the Hunter's outfit. It blended it beautifully with her equipment, making her look like a walking shadow.  She would easily have blended in with any dimly lit background if not for the ridiculous orange headpiece she was also wearing.
"You must have," the Warlock added. She was outfitted in a parody of the Drifter, complete with a poor facsimile of his face upon her head bearing an idiotic expression even the Drifter wouldn't make. Eris was vaguely insulted on his behalf, although he likely would have been flattered. The rest of her armour was a half-hearted attempt to mimic his clothing with abysmal results.
Eris glared at all three of them and did not speak.
"Holy crap!" the Hunter said, leaning her pumpkin in closer. "You got flowing tears and everything! Damn! You really look just like her."
"Do I?" Eris's three eyes stared into the eye holes of the pumpkin mask. The Hunter wearing it paused.
"Shit! You've nailed the voice too!" the Titan exclaimed. "Amazing!"
The Hunter took a step back. "Uh... guys?"
Eris continued to glare at her.
"Oh wow," the Warlock crouched down, eye level with Eris' right hand. "The special effects on your orb are amazing too. That looks like real Soulfire!"
"Guys..." the Hunter took another step back and reached out to gently tug at both the Titan and the Warlock's clothing.
"Does it?" Eris asked, glaring at the Warlock now.
"Y-yeah," the Warlock stammered as realization gradually began to overtake her. "It um... it does... it really... does." She stood, the Drifter's distorted face tilting sideways.
"How droll." Eris intoned, continuing to glare at the fake Drifter.
"Uh..." the Hunter tried to pull the Warlock to the side, but the false Drifter was fixed in place. "We should go."
"But what's the..." The Titan looked at the Hunter and then at the Warlock and then back at Eris. "Oh."
"Is there anything else you feel the need to impede my progress with this evening, guardians?" Eris did not keep the irritation from her voice.
The Warlock in front of her visibly shuddered.
"N-no," the Titan beside her said meekly.
"Then please do continue on your way..." Eris said, icily as she waved her free hand in a dismissive gesture. "Somewhere else... far from here..."
The Hunter tried to pull the Warlock in front of Eris out of her way. The Warlock was fixed in place, staring up at her. Trembling.
"Now." Eris added, leaning forward at the false Drifter in her way.
The Rahool-faced Titan stepped behind his terrified friend and lifted the Warlock up by the waist, physically removing her from in front of Eris.
Eris continued down the stairs as the three guardians stood quietly on the landing above her, watching her. She reached the next landing and looked back up at them with one final withering stare.
"Shit!" the pumpkin-headed Hunter exclaimed. "Go! Go! Go!" She threw a smoke bomb at her friends' feet and all three disappeared.
Eris heard their frantic footsteps ascending the stairs away from her.
"Tsch." She said dismissively to the air before continuing on her way toward the Annex.
Ada's loom was louder here, but not overwhelming. It did nothing to disguise the telltale sign of the Drifter's boredom.
"Ding!"
"Ding... Ding-Ding!"
As Eris stepped through the gate she watched him bounce the coin off of the floor, the table, his winch, and the railing before catching it. As annoying as it was, it was also an impressive display of dexterity and spatial awareness.
The Drifter's face shifted from a neutral expression to a wide grin as he saw her.
"Well, now. That's the best possible thing that could'a happened to me today." He bounced the coin off the floor into the upturned helmet on his work table without even looking at it. It landed with a soft "tink" among the others. "How'd I get so lucky?"
Eris continued to approach him, her face impassive. Inwardly, she took comfort in his obvious delight in her presence. It was so much more pleasant than being gawked at.
"Ikora and I were scheduled to meet, but she was required in the Tower..." Eris explained as she continued toward him, "So I came to her here... and now our business is concluded."
She sat on the bench beside him, placing her Ahamkara bone in her lap and carefully lifting large lit candles on to the floor at her feet so he could sit next to her.
"Wait... wasn't that gonna take all night?" he asked, grabbing a datapad from his work table before sitting in the spot she'd cleared.
"It was," Eris said, not hiding the irritation in her voice as she relocated the last candle. "It ended up being... shortened."
The Drifter tilted his head and leaned back against the railing. "So... does that mean you're free tonight?" He raised one eyebrow, still smiling.
"Yes, however, I am certain you have your rat race."
"During Festival of the Lost? Pickin's are slim to none right now," he told her with a sigh. "They're all runnin' Haunted Lost Sectors for candy. I already cancelled half the Gambit matches before you got here. My attendance is abysmal right now. This is the best possible time for me to close early. Let me get the word out," he began tapping on the data pad. "And then we can go actually participate in the Festival of the Lost, not just work through the whole damn thing."
"I have already had the Festival of the Lost 'participated' upon me on my way here." Eris intoned, the Soulfire in her eyes glowing slightly brighter when she said the word "participated."
He looked at her, confused. "Come again?"
"I was accosted on the stairs," she continued dryly. "And accused of performing a very realistic impersonation... of myself."
The Drifter burst out laughing.
"Oh... Oh that is just amazing. Did they uh... figure it out?" He continued laughing.
"Eventually."
"Ha! What happened then?"
"They panicked and fled in terror."
He leaned forward and thumped his fist on his knee, still laughing.
Eris stared at him impassively. "The one most terrified of me was dressed as you."
"Ahahaha! Ok...ha..."  He put his hand flat on his chest.  "That is ridiculously funny but, I can tell you don't find it as hilarious as I do." He grinned at her and then his eyes sparkled. "Although... it does give me an idea..." He gave her a mischievous look. "If you're up for it..."
"Hmmm?"
"How about this: we flip the script."
Eris mouthed the words 'flip the script' soundlessly to herself before tilting her head. "I do not follow."
"Well there's all these guardians wanderin' around wearing masks of us. Let's change out of our usual digs, keep our helmets on, and wander around wearin' masks of them for a change, huh?"
"What? How?"
"You'll have to hide the glow ball... put it in a backpack or somethin', but Poison Promise Hunter gear is pretty stylish and the mask is completely... What's that word? The one that means you can't see through shit?"
"Opaque."
"Yeah, opaque. You'd just be a regular Hunter. No one would see your eyes or your face. And I'd be... eh... what do I feel like tonight? Titan or Warlock? Huh... decisions, decisions...."
"Why not Hunter?" she asked.
"In the exact same clothes as you? Together? That'd be embarrassing. You know what happens when two Hunters see each other are wearin' the same clothes. One of 'em has to change. It's like some sorta compulsion or something. Can't have a Hunter feelin' like they're in a uniform. That'd be like... conforming to somethin'. Makes 'em twitch."
"A pity you have no other Hunter outfits to choose from with all the things you offer people here in the Annex who play your game."
"Uh... Ok, well, you do have a point, then. Fine. Two Hunters. Out on the town. You in?"
Eris took a moment to think about his words. She remembered the interaction on the stairs and the part of the Hunter's outfit that was not a pumpkin. "That... depends."
"On?"
"There is... a shader I have seen some guardians wearing... occasionally."
"Oh?" He leaned forward, keenly interested in what shader would catch the notice of Eris Morn.
"My understanding is that it was obtained from Shaxx... And was a mark of great pride during the battle against the Witness."
"Oh that shader," his eyes became snake-like. "Yeah I know the one. And I can see why you'd be interested in that one in particular."
"I am assuming you did not... earn one from Shaxx... Did you? That would be the only one I would want to... try out... It did not exist when last I wore a Hunter's clothes."
The Drifter practically flowed as he stood. He hopped up so he was sitting on the railing overlooking the mote bank in the main room of the Annex and then he swung his legs up and over, landing on his feet softly on the other side. "You're gonna have to wait a moment," he said, leaning on the bottom rung of the railing to look at her. "I gotta look somethin' up before I answer your question." He winked and spun on his heel, walking to the shelving against the far wall.
"What?" Eris asked, confused by his unexpected behaviour but also mildly amused by his unexpected burst of agility. When he wasn't pretending to be harmless, the Drifter moved like a dangerous snake. It was a quality Eris found somewhat alluring.
"Now where did I put that... here it is!"
He pulled out a large, heavy volume from among the books on his shelves and brought it up the short set of stairs.
Coins, tools, a disassembled gun and an upturned helmet filled with yet more coins made small metallic sounds as he shoved them around on top of his work table to make room for the thick book. When he dropped the tome onto the surface it made a low thunk and the coins in the helmet rattled.
The Drifter ran his fingers along the edge of the pages, picking out a spot not too far into the text. He opened it up. Eris stood up from the bench and came to look.
"Let's see... cataclysm.... dee-butt-ant..."
"Deb-ewe-taunt"
"What?
"Debutant. The word is pronounced debutant. It's French."
"Ok, well, that's not the one we're looking for.
"What one are we lo-"
"Here we go!" He pointed at the page. "Number one: to receive money as payment for work that you do. Nope. Not money. Not paid."
"Hmmm..."
"Two: to get an amount of money as profit or interest on an investment or loan. That's closer but, really not what we need. Three: to make a particular amount of money from a product or business activity. Nah. Too specific. Four: to obtain in return for labour or services. Now I could work that one if needed but it'd be a stretch. Oh! Here we go. Jackpot: to get something that you deserve."
Eris looked at him quizzically as he turned to face her.
"You, my beautiful three-eyed witch, once told me, and I quote 'you deserve the good things in life too, just by virtue of being human, everybody does'... therefore..."
He flipped the cover of the book over, snapping it shut before he continued.
"Since that shader, or rather, the consequences of me havin' it... namely bein' able to sneak out in-cog-neato with you... is absolutely one of the good things in life right now." His eyes glittered with delight. "Yeah. I have uh.... earned... that shader... and, more importantly..." He leaned forward conspiratorially. "I have it."
Eris looked at him in surprise. "How?"
The Drifter pointed to the doorway, flicked his finger slightly up and to the right, and then flicked his hand forward, indicating the route to Ada's workshop.
"Ada earned it for you and... gifted it to you? That does not make any sense. She loathes you. And she does not compete in the Crucible."
"No. She made it. She made the shader. Where do ya think that one-horned loudmouth gets all his pretty shiny clothes to bribe guardians into playin' something as un-fun as Crucible? He contracts them out from her."
"And she sells them to you behind his back? I would think she would be under some sort of agreement of exclusivity."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," the Drifter raised his hands up and stepped back from her. "I didn't say she sold 'em to me. And I didn't even say she knew I was gettin' 'em from her," he gave Eris a toothy smile.
Eris sighed deeply. "Of course. You stole it."
"Stealin' is a strong word for this... I prefer the more gentle, but still equally accurate... acquired."
Eris sighed again.
"But..." He stepped in close to her, taking her hand. "I did help quite a bit with the city defenses while all that was goin' on. And I didn't ask for nothin' from him for that. And I'll bet you anything you like that if I reminded him of that and asked him for it, he wouldn't say no. I just uh... skipped out on the askin' part."
"Why?" Eris said, exasperated, pulling her hand back from him. "Why not just ask?"
"I don't want him to know that I want his dark, creepy, badass lookin', superblack thing. That is my direct competitor... not to mention a giant blowhard... and I don't mean in the fun way."
"Tsch. I'm surprised you don't have experience with him in the 'fun way' as well."
He smirked at her. "That's cute, but Warlords are a hard no for me."
"Ah," Eris reached out a hand and placed on his arm gently. "Yes. That is... fair."
"So..." He leaned in close to her. "Have I met your criteria for goin' out to the festival tonight with me?" He ran his tongue over his bottom lip, his eyes gleaming.
"Hmmm..." Eris stepped back, cradling her Ahamkara bone, thinking.
He reached out to gently touch her elbow, giving her his best puppy dog eyes.
Eris sighed deeply again.
"Nothing too noisy."
His grin got wider as she listed the conditions of her acceptance.
"You got it," he said.
"And if the crowd or... the volume or... anything else becomes unpleasant..."
"Four squeezes and we GTFO, no questions asked, just like before," he reassured her. "We don't go anywhere you specifically don't wanna go, and don't do anything you actively don't wanna do. But stuff where you're willing to try..."
He spread his arms out with a hopeful smile and leaned back with one eyebrow up, his eyes pleading.
"Very well"
"Yes!" His hands formed fists and he bent his knees, briefly closing his eyes in an expression of delight.
"You clearly want this very much."
He gave her his best shit-eating grin. "You're gonna love this. This is gonna be great."
"I am concerned I am regretting it already."
"Don't say that! We haven't even started yet. Now come on over here and try on these clothes." He tugged her gently toward the side of the room. "Gotta get into our guardian costumes so we can go trick or treat."
Eris frowned. "What is trick or treat?'
"It's fun, Moondust. You know, that thing you're allergic to. Come on!"
"Ugh."
Link to the entire month's worth of prompts on Ao3, posted (mostly) daily.
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theneighborhoodwatch · 1 year ago
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i was thinking a bit about how even in illustrated material, wally is always smiling, but his neighbors all have varied expressions aside from their puppets…maybe since he’s likely the only one who truly sees himself as a puppet, he can’t really break through the confines of his puppet’s mechanics (aside from widening his eyes, i guess)? my thoughts were maybe everyone else seeing the world through the lens of being People means they can express More? i’m not sure i explained this right
oh anon. i could kiss you right now (or hug you, or shake your hand, or whatever form of affection conveying the general message of "holy shit that's exactly what i've been trying to say this entire TIME i'm so glad someone else sees it too" that you would be comfortable with.)
i do mean The Entire Time, too - most explicitly here, but it also comes up here and here, and i consider it to be a sort of Background Noise in many of the speculation posts i make. they are puppets. they are people. i do not think these facts are mutually exclusive.
the idea that either you understand your own existence to be solely that of a puppet, but still feel Everything a person feels without having the tools to process any of it OR you understand your existence to be that of a person, but are in an environment that disagrees and reacts accordingly, and that eventually these two perspectives converge - there's no way they can't, when they exist in such close proximity to one another, always bearing witness to one another.... i'm not sure what to say about how it makes me feel other than i think it's The Absolute Most. i don't think my feelings have changed much since i wrote those posts i linked.
(also +1 points for the theory that wally's abilities are defined/limited by his own understanding of reality, ex. the whole "you eat with your eyes first" thing, the fact that the only thing that keeps him from sleeping is that he doesn't understand sleep itself, etc.)
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