#this annoyed me from earlier but I forgot to post it on here

[mischiefbuckley]

how many times do we have to go back to the same conclusion that at the end of the day buck’s bisexuality isn’t tied to anyone like how hard of a concept is that to grasp like whether or not buck is dating a man or a woman or single at the end of the day he is a bisexual

[moonlight-alexia]

pair of pests: grow up ˏˋ°•*⁀ kyra x catley!reader, steph x catley!reader, short fic/blurb

kyra cooney-cross x reader | steph catley x reader (sisters) | 1.6k | based off of this ask

‘God will you ever grow up? All you do is annoy and irritate everyone every single day,’ You didn’t think you’d pushed it too far, you were quite good with knowing where the limits were when you were having fun and messing around with your teammates. Maybe you had been pushing Steph a bit too much lately, but you really hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary. Nothing that would have your sister yelling at you like this in front of everyone, ‘I’ve honestly had enough of you,’ 

Your heart dropped and your cheeks heated up with embarrassment. Steph had never yelled at you like this, even when you were growing up, sure you’d have arguments and fights as kids but nothing was ever that serious. But right now you’d never seen her so serious and like she meant every single word that came out of her mouth. 

It probably wouldn’t have made you feel as bad if it hadn't been in front of your teammates and in the middle of training. You really didn’t mean to upset your sister as much as you apparently did. What you forgot to take into account was all the added stress your sister had leading up to the olympics post wsl season, being the captain for your country. 

Your demeanour instantly changed for the rest of the day. Keeping more to yourself and making sure to keep your distance from Steph as much as you could. As soon as training was over you grabbed your stuff as quick as you could and grabbed Kyra’s hand dragging her out of there before anyone else could say anything. 

‘Please just take me anywhere but Steph’s,’ You pleaded with Kyra, getting into her car. Kyra didn’t say anything during the trip back to hers, but neither did you. Without having to say anything Kyra always knew what you needed. Also she saw what happened between you and Steph, but you’re sisters so she knew that it would probably blow over before anyone even remembers that it happened. That’s how siblings are.

‘You know, I don’t think Steph really meant what she said,’ You were laying together in Kyra’s bed, you were absentmindedly drawing shapes on her exposed stomach getting lost in your thoughts. Kyra knew you were thinking about earlier, you had left before either you or Steph could talk to each other and make things right again.

Kyra’s voice and the hand running through your hair gently, brought you back to reality, ‘I don’t know Ky,’ You let out the breath you didn’t realise you were holding, ‘It was different, she really looked like she meant it. Maybe I should listen to her and grow up,’ Kyra hated the defeated look you had on your face.

‘Hey, no, don’t listen to Steph. You are perfect the way you are. She’s probably just having a bad day and if she takes it out on you then that’s on her and nothing to do with you,’ You smiled, laughing a little, no matter what Kyra always had your back. It was amusing at times though.

‘I love that you’ll always have my side no matter what,’ You were definitely feeling a bit better than you were before, though that didn’t mean you were heading home anytime soon.

On the other hand, Steph was pacing around her apartment feeling incredibly guilty for lashing out at you like she did. All she could see when she thought of you was the way your face dropped when she yelled at you. Steph knew that she shouldn’t have taken out her stress on you, she’d been holding it all in for a while now and you’d just managed to be the tipping point making her burst. Though it was never an excuse for yelling at you, in front of everyone as well.

‘You need to calm down. Tiny will be fine, she’s probably just with Kyra,’ Beth tried to reason with Steph, trying to get her to stop worrying over you. Having been close with Steph for a few years means having seen the two of you have disagreements and little fights here and there. So she knew the two of you would be fine.

‘I still shouldn’t have yelled at her, she didn’t deserve it,’ Some would playfully disagree and say it might be good for you and Kyra to get in trouble from time to time just to keep the two of you in line. 

‘Just talk to her tomorrow, it’ll be fine,’ 

Steph would’ve felt like it could be fine if you hadn’t spent that next day as well doing your best to avoid her. It was match day so there wasn’t really a whole lot of time before the match where she could talk to you. But even if there was, it didn’t help that you did your best to be busy or as far away from Steph as you possibly could be.

You figured it was for the best, if you really had annoyed Steph as much as it seemed like you did, then you figured you’d give her some space. Even with reassurance from Kyra, Viv, Beth and Caitlin and so many others, it really didn’t help you all that much. You were worrying over Steph and whether you really were too annoying and Steph was worrying about you even more that you were purposefully avoiding her.

It didn’t feel the same, Steph had grown used to you and Kyra’s pre match antics, it had grown part of Steph’s match day routine even if she hadn’t realised it til now. You were starting and grateful that Steph was being rested and only used if they really needed to sub towards the end of the match. That meant you didn’t have to face her in the tunnel while waiting to walk out. 

But your head really wasn’t in the game. It wasn’t your worst game since being at Arsenal but it definitely wasn’t your best, knowing you definitely wouldn’t be starting next time or any time soon. Wanting nothing more than to get out of there as soon as you could after the match. 

Just like the day before, as soon as you could leave you’d dragged Kyra along with you. Luckily it was a home match so you were able to do that, opting to have a shower once you got back to Kyra’s apartment. 

‘I really think you should go back to Steph’s tonight,’ Kyra’s arms wrapped around your waist while you leaned your head back against her shoulder. You were enjoying relaxing against your girlfriend underneath the warmth of the water running over the top of you both. 

‘You sick of me, huh?’ Smiling playfully you turned around in Kyra’s embrace so you could look at her.

‘I mean, I could never get sick of you baby, but I think you and Steph both need to talk this out,’ Kyra was right but you really didn’t want to admit that to her. Nodding your head you made the promise to go back to the apartment tonight, just wanting to drop the subject and enjoy Kyra’s company a little bit longer before facing Steph.

You’d played your cards right and managed to coerce Kyra into falling asleep with you while watching a movie. Which led to you now being dropped back at Steph’s apartment at almost midnight. Unlocking the door, you tried your best to be quiet, figuring that Steph would be asleep by now. 

Getting tackled by Calvin as soon as you walked in, you noticed all the lights were still on in the apartment. Normally if Steph went to bed before you’d gotten back home then she would leave just the hallway light on. So you knew Steph was still up. You tried to sneak in, down the hallway and into your room, but it was hard when you had a dog excited for your return.

‘Hey, can we talk?’ You tensed a little hearing Steph’s voice, it was quieter than usual most likely due to the fact it was the middle of the night. You were nervous until you actually looked at Steph, you were afraid of a lecture but with how she was looking at you, you knew that she wasn’t about to give you one.

Nodding your head you went to sit next to her on the couch, Calvin of course having to jump up and nuzzle in between the two of you, ‘I’m really sorry, I know I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’ve been a bit more stressed with the olympics almost here but I really shouldn’t have taken it out on you,’ Steph was genuine in her apology, it made you feel better but at the same time a little bad and you felt a little bit guilty. You were her sister and you lived with Steph but you didn’t notice she was having a harder time than usual lately.

‘I’m sorry too Stephy. I should’ve realised you would be dealing with things causing you more stress than you usually would. If it helps, you have a whole team of people you can lean on if you need to. We’ll all always help you and be there for you. And I’ll not annoy you until after the olympics,’ Gently nudging Calvin off the couch and out of your way, you moved closer to Steph, cuddling into her.

‘To be honest, I kind of missed your annoying self today before the match,’ Steph knew she was going to regret telling you that. 

You looked up at Steph, she rolled her eyes already seeing that cheeky grin and that twinkle in your eye that you get when you’re about to be a menace to her, ‘Aw I knew you secretly loved it Stephy,’ 

[rockstarhaechan]

choi jiung keeps sending you voicemails every now and then idol!choi jiung x non!idol fem reader warnings i don’t think there are any genre voicemails i saw @kisseobie say they barely see jiung posts so here i am reporting for duty

“you’re probably at work or asleep since i lost track of the time difference , but man i miss you… getting my makeup done right now, hold on… i need to sneeze..- oh bless me”

“i hate being far away from you, especially over seas but we have our jingle bell performance tonight, i wish you’d be here to see me i miss your pretty face in the crowd, i gotta hang up, i love you and text me when you hear this”

“hey my love, it’s me again. i know i was at your place earlier but i just wanted to let you know that i left you some money on the counter in the kitchen, had to leave for practice and couldn’t get you anything for breakfast, i’m sorry”

“make sure to eat something and drink enough water, we are having dinner all together later and the boys asked me to bring you as well, so i’ll pick you up at six, see you later and i love you, text me if you need anything”

“we won… we won first place at the music showcase. right when we got backstage you were the first person i could think about so i had to call you, even though you’re at work right now. i can’t believe we made it.. after all those years we finally did it..”

“keeho distracted me, i forgot i’m still on the phone.. i-it’s unbelievable i can’t even explain how i feel right now but wow. get ready for a lot of crying later, i love you”

“i can see you from up here, it’s cute seeing you interact with other p1ece, no no don’t look up, stop. yes that’s better, keep talking to them, i’m just gonna watch you from here, you will laugh your ass off when you hear this one”

“actually, do you laugh when you hear most of my voicemails? should i switch to texts instead? jongseob told me that you sometimes wiggle your brows when you listen to my voicemails, you find me that attractive? okay i better stop, ill see you inside”

“come get your boyfriend, he is annoying- taeyang give me my phone back, who are you talking to? oh god you’re done for”

“what did taeyang say? he didn’t say anything bad did he? i’m sorry if he did, i should really send voice messages instead so i can hear what i said or someone specific said. if looks could kill, taeyang would be dead right now. i love you, i’ll pick you up from work later”

“i’m in the mall right now, and i found this super cute tshirt i already bought it for you.. yah, don’t come for me when you see the t-shirt cause it’s so cute, it’s custom made. ‘i love my boyfriend choi jiung’ with a picture of my face”

“i thought you’d perfectly blend in with p1ece at some concerts if you wear that, they wouldn’t suspect a single thing, this has me giggling, okay more like laughing. let me send you a picture of it, okay done”

“i’m such an idiot sometimes, i’ve just send this long voicemail to keeho, took me like 7 minutes to realise that i was speaking on his voicemail instead of yours.. so i’m keeping this one short.”

“i’m on my way to your apartment, i’m gonna pick you up and we can go to the little cafe you like going to a lot, eta in about five minutes, i forgot your key so could you let me in please? thank you love, bye bye”

[jaysswlvrr]

Academic Rivals: An Unlocked Drawer| p.sh rival!reader x rival!sunghoon

request>> its a bit long but tysm(!) to the anon who sent it, i was planning on smth for hoon but tysm for the idea<3

authors note>> ik i haven't posted in a while but somehow we gained another 100 followers overnight?! guys tysmmmm<3

minors do NOT read or interact (please)

"your grades have dropped drastically, I thought you were better than that", your teacher scolded. "I really want to help you so" you looked curious as your teacher stopped talking. "I got you a tutor, I think you know him". She walks toward the door revealing the presence of one and only,

Park Sunghoon.

He had a big smirk, entering the room and facing you. Your teacher thins her lips in a reassuring smile,"Ill leave you two to it then", she spoke, gathering her books and leaving before you could stop her. You look up at him, a pout of hatred and anger plastered on your face. You lightly roll your eyes as he bends to your height. Telling him your address with a quick 'dont be late', before turning on your heel to leave.

And thats how you got here now, bored and revising things that you never even knew existed. He stops talking, causing you to look up at him as if you knew he was going to say something off-topic. "Got any snacks?" he asks, smiling as you reluctantly stand up, letting out an annoyed sigh. You walk out of the room, unintentionally swaying your hips.

Sunghoon's gaze moves from your back to your ass. Your small shorts barely cover any of your flesh. He bites his lip, forcing his eyes away from the sight. You on the other hand are struggling to get the snacks for the top shelf (lmao) 'how did they even get there?' you think. You can't find anything decent to give him, so you make popcorn instead.

Meanwhile, Sunghoon looked around your room. It was filled with small pictures of yourself on beaches and small revision notes. His eyes were slowly drawn to small drawers, the middle draw with a black silk bow on the handle. It had a lock, but when he realised it was slightly opened, it made him more curious as to what was inside. Maybe it was some weird cringy 'dear diary' or childish photos.

In fact, it was the opposite. It was full of different sex toys, ones he never expected you would own, or even know of.

Instead of being disgusted, he bit his lip, never knowing that you were this filthy and dirty. He loved this, so many lewd thoughts ran through his mind. Imagining how you would twitch around the toy, letting out small moans and whines, oh he wanted you so bad.

He grabbed a small vibrator turning it on and seeing the small bud move made him smirk. There was also a small matching remote, a setting to speed and slow down the vibrations. He grabbed it and put it in his pocket, waiting for you to return.

You finally enter the room, your shirt exposing your waist as you were reaching for the top cupboard earlier. You place the popcorn in front of him and sit down. "There were no snacks so I had to make popcorn"

"Try it for me, please?" you watch as he takes one in his hand. His eyes never leave yours ashe puts the piece in his mouth. You gulp down the horniness building up in you, ignoring the wet patch forming between your legs. "Its alright" he answers, breaking your thoughts.

You turn back to your book but his deep voice stops you. "I think you forgot to lock something" he starts as your eyes connect to his, not understanding him. He pushes the chair back on its wheels, pulling the draw with him.

Your eyes widen as he reveals what you had thoughtg you locked before. You start to stutter an explanation but before you could protest, he pulls you towards him. "youre just as filthy as i thought you were" his breath blows on your face and he lets out a breathy laugh as you dont respond. "Couldve just asked me to fuck you" he taunts in your ear, his breath tickling down your neck.

"You want a cock don't you?" He mocks you, pouting as you slightly nod. "Get up for me then" you immediately get up like an eager puppy, ready to do anything for him. You watch as he pulls down his jeans, revealing his revealing his pink, leaking cock.

And look at you know, all on top of him and trembling as the small vibrator sped up again. "C'mon then, next question," he smiles as you still try your best to focus. You have sweat running down your neck, back, forehead, everywhere possible. "I-is is 52?"

He chuckles softly, "wrong baby" he coos. You start to sob again. "Sunghoon, t-too much!" he laughs as your body jolts to him adding the speed. "c'mon next one". This question was way more easier so you finally (estupido) got it right. "please let me cum sunghoon- please!" You can feel him thrusting up into you, it feels overwhelming but its just so good.

You can feel his dick hitting so high into those spongey spots no one has hit before. Even when you looked down, you could see the bulge in your belly which only made you moan more. "Hold it in a little longer baby" but you couldnt hear him anymore. Your eyes were at the back of your head at every thrust he did.

"Please sunghoon!" he sighs loudly, finally giving you a reassuring hum. As if you could hold it any longer, you feel your orgasm rain over you. Both yours and sunghoons liquid mix down your thighs.

♡

small aftercare~

Your in the bath with sunghoon bent over to your level and scrubbing your sore plush body. "Want to do this again?" your eyes grow bigger in plead but he just giggles lightly.

"Sure"

took me so long, i apologise

[nevertoomanyspiders]

it's a Wheeler!

for literally no goddamn reason, have an assortment of Wheelers from various adaptations and depictions ...that aren't John R. Neill's art or Return to Oz stuff, everyone already knows those, haha.

...well ok except this one from the endpaper of Ozma of Oz because it's new to me, at least, and the gutenberg.org copy doesn't have it.

what a dang dork, bless. glad he and Tik-Tok set aside their differences to watch the race.

Illustration

from 1976 Polish edition of Ozma of Oz with art by Zbigniew Rychlicki, via Reddit:

these lads are so stylish and their oversized heads are pretty freaky, dang.

a very 17th century Wheeler from 1970 Japanese edition of Ozma of Oz, art by Sonoko Arai, via Hungry Tiger Talk:

a dang goofy Wheeler by Vlada Stolikovich, 1976. also via Hungry Tiger Talk:

anyway, fuck, um, everything else is under a cut because this post ended up a bit too long oops.

something I have a hard time finding information on beyond that what I assume to be a Korean translation (?) of an Indonesian edition (???) of Ozma of Oz with 3D CGI illustrations. would be fun to see if there's more images within. not a damn clue who made these illustrations, either.

gosh those Wheelers. dunno what the artist was going for but there's a bit of a renaissance vibe. what if this was an animated thing? on that note...

Animated adaptations

the 1987 direct-to-video short Dorothy Meets Ozma of Oz has uh. these fuckers. seemingly there's only two. probably because of low animation budget, lol.

well, I say there's two, but it's just one design with a palette swap one has blonde hair and pink coat, the other has black hair and orange coat or something. also it's not evident from the screenshots but these dorks have long, pretty eyelashes and GAWD the voice acting is. well. hear for yourselves.

one of my favourite moments is Ozma turning up, saying "Enough." and bonking a Wheeler on the head with her scepter. here's the time stamp.

oh yeah I'm sure a bunch of folks have seen the Wheelers as seen in Oz Kids courtesy of this post. they appear in the episode Who Stole Santa. (and no it wasn't the Wheelers, obviously, they're just here to be annoying and trying to prevent the characters from taking a specific path.)

the guy in purple, who I'm calling Squeky Wheel, looks a lot like the Wheeler in this Ozma of Oz chapter art by John R. Neill. poor guy got walloped pretty hard.

anyway only Squeaky talks while his two buddies remain silent. these guys are such pushovers and the kids aren't scared of them at all.

Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz (2017-2020) has these little bobble-headed goobers.

can't say I'm crazy about how they look but their characterization as reckless speedsters is a fun one. in one episode they even make friends with Tin Man after he replaces a busted wheel.

Ozu no Mahotsukai (オズの魔法使い, 1986-1987) has a... very strange interpretation of the Wheelers, but then, the series does play fast and loose with the source material as it is, which I don't mind! an adaptation doing something fun with the source material adds an element of unpredictability which I like... so, I'm not terribly surprised by how much they deviate from the book descriptions.

they wouldn't look too out of place in the B.C. comic strip.

and this segues perfectly to...

Comics

the Marvel comic adaptation of Ozma of Oz by Eric Shanower (writer) and Skottie Young (artist) probably has some of my fav depictions of the Wheelers, and I really like this variant cover (I believe it's by Eric Shanower?)

these guys are utterly freaky but also dang silly. watching these fucked up abominations bumble around defuses the terror.

there he go

so, there's the ones I've seen so far. if there's more that you know of, SEND THEM TO ME I NEED THEM SO BAD HELP

edit: OK there were some earlier Wheeler things I forgot about!

this Japanese edition has these kinda menacing looking Wheelers. I like the Osamu Tezuka influence here.

another Japanese version also covered by Hungry Tiger Talk with more robotic looking, super evil looking Wheelers, lol.

also as far as illustration, there's this old Italian edition of Ozma of Oz.

not exactly the most menacing looking Wheeler but he does have a fancy embroidered jacket.

and Billina has an adorable bonnet!

anyway that's all for now, at least.

[mintywolf]

(I wrote this on the train coming home on August 26th although I am just getting around to posting it now because time is a weird soup.)

So okay.

****

I haven’t written a personal journal post in a long time but I want to write down EVERYTHING I can remember about my adventure to NYC to see the Critical Role cast so I don’t forget. It was SUCH a moving experience and I’m so glad I went even though I was scared.

So okay my big goal for this year was to finish the first chapter of my C3 prequel fan comic A Long Road Home (southerngothiccomic.com), have a print edition made, and meet Laura and Marisha at a convention so I could give copies of it to them in person. When the CR cast announced they were going to be at Anime NYC this year I figured that was the closest they were probably going to get to me in Virginia. (And getting autographs at NYCC is reportedly like hunting a unicorn so I figured this would be my best chance.)

I was also terrified, and almost talked myself out of it because I was nervous about giving them the comic, even though I already had a badge and it was what I really, really wanted to do. I know the cast loves to see fanart — and also, it has been revealed, reads the fanfic — but it’s also a pretty well-known taboo for a fan to show their fanfic to a creator and a graphic novel is an unholy hybrid of the two. I was also worried that it would seem presumptuous of me to present them with a fanmade prequel graphic novel because there’s almost certainly going to be an official one at some point, and afraid that at best they might politely tell me they couldn’t accept it (for the reasons that comic writers aren’t “allowed” to read fanfic), and at worst they might be kind of annoyed that it exists. Either way I’d be REALLY sad, and in the weeks leading up to the con I worked myself up into an irrational panic about this. Fortunately my friends managed to talk me into not backing out (and spoilers: it turned out okay in the end!) but I was still very scared.

Also I was so focused on the comic stuff that I forgot until after GenCon earlier this month to think of what I wanted to actually have autographed. I decided to get a big print of the chapter one cover from INPRNT, assuming that since I ordered it two weeks in advance with an eta of 5-7 days that would be plenty of time for it to get to me. Well, reader, it was not. (But please do not let me dissuade you from using INPRNT! To their credit when I contacted them and asked if I could upgrade to rush delivery, they expedited it for free. Unfortunately even with rush shipping it just missed me, arriving at my house while I was on the train to NYC.)

Pâté on the train going to see his biological parents. (Laura and Marisha.)

When I saw that it wasn’t going to arrive in time I was starting to panic because there is nowhere near me to have art prints made. It’s a 15 minute drive (past the alpaca farm) just to get to the nearest grocery store. Grasping at straws I was kind of like Should I . . . draw something? On paper?? With real media that I haven’t used in like 10 years??? I only have 3 days!!!

Fortunately my life was saved by @emphaticembroiderer who had the brilliant suggestion of sending my art ahead to a print shop in NYC and picking it up before the convention. There are indeed MANY of those in New York and I managed to find one that was open on Saturdays and able to make my print on short notice. (567 Framing on W 14th street. The owner, Jack Hu, did excellent work and was very kind!) By that point I was frazzled and didn’t want two of the same print so I decided to be self-indulgent and had this one made. Not my showiest piece but it is one of my favorite things I’ve drawn. (This turned out to be the correct decision.) It’s a 6 1/2 hour train ride from here to there (and it got a little delayed along the way) so by the time I got there it was after 5 and the print shop closed at 6:30 so I zoomed over there straight from the train station to pick it up. It turned out BEAUTIFULLY, and the owner was pleased with how happy I was with it and that he’d been able to help.

He enjoys that he is included.

Then I went and checked in to my hotel and that point really just wanted to lie down on a bed but I had plans to take Pâté to see Hadestown on Broadway that night because I wanted to make the most of my trip. (Also it’s important for our scrungly son to receive a cultural education.) In keeping with the theme of the weekend I wore the Laudna-themed sundress I made for GenCon with one of the poppies in my hair. An usher told me they liked my ensemble. :) I had decided to go for a front row mezzanine seat because I didn’t know when I’d ever have this opportunity again and I didn’t want to risk my miniature self being stuck behind a tall person. It was perfect; I could see everything and the performance was AMAZING. Pâté had a very good time too.

The next day was the CR panel and autographs!! I decided to wear my 1950s Laudna cosplay from GenCon. I had some doubts about it when I got there because without the rest of 50s Bells Hells the theme isn’t as clear and outside of a DnD-focused convention the recognizability of a CR character is kind of low, let alone an AU variant on one. But once I found the Critters my Pâté poodle skirt was appreciated. :)

This is Rach @dadrielle, Astoria @astoriacolumnstaircase, Abby @overnighttosunflowers, and me as 50s Hells at GenCon!

And okay I know this said a lot but it’s true, CR fans are the NICEST fandom to be a part of. <3 If you’re ever standing in line for a CR thing by the time you get there you will have new friends. (For comparison the other-fandoms cosplayers I saw at the hotel and on the way to the con didn’t even return my smiles, even though we were all clearly going to the same place.) I fell in with a group of people who were near me in line (including an amazing Owlbearman cosplayer) and we decided to all sit together. The panel was really great. I don’t remember everything that was asked because of everything ELSE that happened later that day but they hinted that Big Things are coming (including multiple live shows!! Please come to Richmond! Or DC! Or at least somewhere on the East Coast!) for the 10th anniversary and Momlan stepped up to the mic during the Q&A segment and revealed that Sam has achieved his childhood dream . . . to become a minotaur. :D

With the mindset of making the most of this trip I had intended to try to get a spot in line to ask a question but I was hesitant about being on camera (even in cosplay) and while I was dithering about it like 50 people got in line. (I was also Suffering by that point because my rockabilly Laudna shoes have like 3 inch heels and after walking from the hotel to the convention center I didn’t have the fortitude to dart over to the line in them.)

My question, which I hope to submit next time there’s a Q&A opportunity, was this: For Marisha. We’ve seen Delilah’s influence manifesting in Laudna’s fashion choices recently. Now that she has the means and the freedom to do so, what kind of clothes would she choose for herself?

(Because I am a little sad that — until a possible post-campaign oneshot — we’ll never get to see a high-level Laudna costume that’s totally of her own design and I’m really eager to know what it would look like! Let her be spooky and free!)

Afterwards the cosplayers were being rounded up for a photo shoot but I was anxious to get a good spot in line for my autograph with Laura at 2pm so I stealthed away with Ken (@elissabrat), a Jester fan I had met in line, who knew where they were and had one with Travis at the same time. When we got there we were told No, go away and come back in an hour and a half, because it was still only 12. So we went to the Artists Alley where we found a girl named Lea whom we had also met in the panel line and collected a few other stray Critters (Ken has a boisterous and inviting personality and importantly, is very tall, preventing the rest of us from getting lost in the crowd) and we wandered around seeking out all the CR fan artists we could find. (There were a lot! It was great. I got some prints.)

by Cait May and Maliveth

Around 1 we decided to go back and see what the line situation was. Before we parted ways I exchanged twitter handles with Lea, who looked at my profile and said “Wait . . . this is you?”

She told me she was a big fan of my comic and looks forward to it every week! and we were both kind of like !!! at each other for a moment. I had never met someone who recognized my art in the wild before. (On ANY other day this would have been the most amazing thing that happened to me, haha.) I was so touched to meet her. <3

I took out the two books I was carrying and explained why I was there and we all got hyped up about it. And it made it feel a little less daunting, to know that there was someone there who understood the quest I was on and how close I was to the end of it.

I was like 5th in line for Laura and since it was still early I got to participate in that bonding experience integral to every con, sitting on the floor in cosplay, with a very good Vex behind me. (Hilariously, even after the dig at them — or maybe unaware of it — in the most recent episode, there were a lot of Funko Pop resellers around us, haha.)

I sent word to Southern Gothic Discord to remember me fondly in case I died here. In fact I'm not entirely sure that I didn't.

It felt like there was a disproportionate amount of fanfare revealing my print because I kept it how it was packed by the printer, wrapped in paper in between two pieces of cardboard so it wouldn’t get bent, so there was this whole ceremony of peeling back the tape, turning under one of the cardboard protectors, unfolding the paper, and turning over the print. But Laura loved it. She made like a happy sob when she saw it (it was really cute) and she looked at it for a long time taking in all the details and said it was beautiful. <3 <3 <3 (No matter how much we love and ship Imogen and Laudna, NO ONE loves them or is shipping them harder than Laura Bailey. She asked if I was going to bring it to Marisha too and was careful picking out a spot so there'd be room for both of their signatures. :))

I told her I was really happy to meet her because I’ve been a fan since BloodRayne (so, um. 20 years) and she said “oh wow, that was OG days!” And she gave me just a really kind look like she understood how much it meant to me to be there.

Then I gave her the comic. You all were right, I was worried about nothing! because she is the sweetest and she loved it. I very nervously pushed it across the table and said it was a comic I had made and wanted to give her. She picked it up and started turning the pages and was surprised when she saw what it was. “Wait, this is a whole novel! You made this?”

I confessed that I had, and she asked how long it had taken, I told her about a year (it was actually longer; in the moment I kind of forgot not how many pages there are in the first chapter but how many weeks are in a year) and she looked just really impressed that I had made it and touched by how much work had gone into it. She said she couldn’t wait to read it and seemed really excited to hear that it’s still going online! (So no pressure on me there if she's keeping up with it now, haha. o.o) And she kept looking between the book and me like she couldn’t believe it.

Then she asked me if I would sign it for her. :')

Somehow I survived long enough to do so! (a little wobbly because my hands were shaking) and someone (I think it was the ticket scanner) made a joke about how I was the first person to give an autograph at a signing, haha. And then she came around the table and gave me a hug. <3 <3 <3

After that my soul was still on the ethereal plane but the rest of me managed to find my way (after a brief wrong turn) to Marisha’s line. (There was a really good Keyleth and Caduceus in line behind me and they kindly noticed and returned the Pâté sticker that fell out of Marisha’s book).

She recognized my cosplay as 1950s Laudna right away! which was very validating after my earlier indecision haha. She loved the Pâté skirt and thought the scissors embroidery on my collar was adorable. She really liked the art too and was kind of like “Awww” about the book like in an “aww it’s an Imogen and Laudna thing” kind of way (she also liked the glass bottle windchimes on the cover and I love that she noticed that detail because Laudna’s penchant for turning things other people have thrown away into arts and crafts is one of my favorite aspects of her character) until she opened it and started looking through it.

Then she said, “Wait, this is actually really good," and she asked me seriously if Liam “Art Dad” knew about it (I said he had liked some of my other art on Twitter but I didn’t know if he knew about the comic) and then she said — still looking at it, more to herself than me — “We’ll have to add it to our art catalogue.” I don’t know exactly what that means (and I don’t want to get my hopes up too high by speculating; I was too !!! in the moment to ask and now I’m going to be wondering) but . . . it sounds . . . exciting??

They also both enjoyed Pâté and his lil sunglasses. :)

I had gone up with the intention of asking my other burning question: How does being cold-blooded affect Laudna in cold climates? If she gets too cold will she enter a state of brumation like a lizard? Will she freeze solid?

But I forgot. And it really wouldn’t have been the right moment. Maybe when I come back with Volume Two. :)

You’re supposed to pay extra to get a quote put on there but they both did it anyway without even asking. I think they must be really pleased when someone brings them something personal that they’ve made to have signed and not something they’re planning to sell.

After that I just kind of floated away from the con even though it was only like 2:30 haha. Nothing else could have happened there that would have equaled or improved upon that experience. Although I did adopt a Tentacle Kitty. The vendor (correctly) guessed “you look like you’d vibe with our spooky collection” so I had to get a new buddy for Pâté. (50s Laudna, still readily identifiable as a witch wherever she goes.) Also I saw a very chill emotional support pomeranian in a backpack.

(On the way back I saw the mark of the Traveler graffiti’d in green on the sidewalk. Truly a blessed day. :P)

Afterwards I just sat on the bed in my hotel room amid the floof of my crinoline wondering what even is my life for the next few hours and being like !!!! at Discord. Then I met up with Abby (whom it was wonderful to see again!! thank you so much for coming to see me) for dinner and had a really lovely time going over the What Just Happened of it all and talking about Imodna over strawberry pancakes. As one does. Perfect ending to an amazing day. <3

It was SUCH an incredible, exhilarating experience, thank you everyone who pushed me into not giving up out of fear. Laura and Marisha are SO nice and gracious in person and it was just so rewarding, after all the work and love and time I’ve put into this comic, to be able to finally bring it to the people who inspired it! And to see it appreciated and admired by them! It was more than I ever could have imagined.

This fandom is the best. My heart is so happy and full of love right now. <3 <3 <3

[screamingatanemptyroom]

The Healer Pt 4

The story continues. I'm still enjoying this one, so we'll keep going!

Part 1 / 2 / 3 linked here. (If I get to 5+ parts I'll make a master post)

Enjoy!

___________________________

ONE YEAR EARLIER

“Natalie! You’re here!”

Jack shouted with excitement when he saw me. Garrett and Rita trailed behind him, their expressions happy, if a bit mild and unenthused. I was still sitting on the ground, catching my breath after my first battle in this strange world. The corpses of the monster flowers had faded into the grass, leaving little evidence of my fight behind. I waved to them, feeling a strong sense of relief in seeing familiar faces.

The three of them had been my teammates in Fantasy Realm, even if they weren’t the kindest people I had ever known. While playing together they were often inpatient with me, unforgiving of mistakes, and constantly pushing me to spend more time and money improving my character when they knew I had very little of both. I had always given in, and disliked myself for doing so, hoping it would improve their opinion of me, knowing deep down it wouldn’t. I might call them friends… and I would be shocked if they called me the same.  But after waking up in this weird real world of the game, I was just happy to know anyone at all.

I was afraid to be alone.

The group reached me, and with a grin, Jack reached out and helped me to my feet. I brushed the dust off of myself and looked them over. They all looked like they had in our old world, the only difference was their clothing. Jack was dressed in leather armor, reinforced my metal along the chest and back. Garrett had a large sword strapped across his back, with scant coverings over the rest of his enormous frame. Rita had a simple cloth robe and a large wooden bow.

“We all chose our familiar classes.” Jack saw my studying look and informed me. “Seemed the safest thing to do given that we don’t know what happens if you die in here.”

Rita rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe you guys are taking this seriously! This can’t be real. We're still in the game! It’s just some hoax, someone hacked the game. Eventually my dad will tear the VR company apart, sue them into oblivion and then we’ll be let out!”

I paused at that. “We weren’t playing the game when this happened though.”

“We just forgot.” She answered forcefully, her gaze annoyed as usual as she met my own.

Rita had always disliked me. Our parents knew each other, her father was a well-known lawyer who had pushed her to follow in his footsteps. As someone who had struggled with the weight of parents’ expectations, I sympathized. But she had quit law school after a week, turning to full time gaming instead. She didn’t do well enough to make any money, but fortunately her mother paid her bills.

Her father was disapproving to say the least. He apparently used me as an example to her of someone successfully “taking over the family business,” never mind that I hated the pressure, resented my parents’ strict expectations and escaped whenever possible. It didn’t matter. Rita despised me, and no attempts from myself or from Jack could smooth the rift between us.

Garrett looked me over from head to toe, confused. “You don’t have a weapon.”

I froze at his words. Garrett had a large sword, obviously a barbarian type class. Jack had a one-handed sword, a fighter or swordsman. Rita was an archer with her bow. But me…

There was only was class in the game that couldn’t use weapons.

“No…” Rita started laughing, so hard that tears were forming in her eyes. “No… you DIDN’T do something so STUPID….!”

Garrett was shaking his head, frowning disapprovingly. I ignored them, my entire attention was on Jack. We had been friends since freshman year of college. He had helped me find my first class, I tutored him in chemistry. We had supported each other through ups and downs, told each other about our fears and dreams…  

And he was looking at me with hatred in his eyes.

“You are a Healer.” His voice was quiet, but the lack of emotion in his tone made my hackles raise. I started to back away.

“Jack… I…”

His hand gripped my throat, and I was lifted off the ground. I gasped, unable to get air, and struggled against him, but with a strength stat of -10 I knew there wasn’t much hope. I wouldn’t be able to cast my healing spells either, without being able to speak the activation word.

I need to be able to cast without speaking. My brain focused on that, almost desperately avoiding dealing with the situation I was currently in: My friend was killing me.

**The Healer enters an early hypoxic state - 10 damage for each second that airway compression remains in place. **

**The Healer takes 10 damage. **

I had only seconds to live.

** The Healer takes 10 damage**

I grabbed his hand, focusing all my desperation into the need to cast my only spell: Small Incision.

** Through sheer force of will, The Healer has discovered Wordless Incantation**

**The Healer casts Small Incision. Jack the Hero takes 1 damage.**

As the messages floated across my vision, Jack yelped in pain, clutching his bleeding hand, dropping me to the ground. I laid still for a few moments, focusing on breathing, the pain of my neck and in my lungs a reminder of what had just occurred. I stared up at Jack, hoping to see remorse on his face.

There was nothing but rage.

“How DARE you pick a useless class like healer?” He snarled, holding pressure on his hand to stop the bleeding while staring down at me. “Our lives could depend on doing well in this game, and you seriously chose a class with minimal fighting potential, whose healing abilities are worse than any potion that can be purchased in a shop?”

He stepped closer, and I flinched back, my heart beating wildly. “You are so obsessed with your parents’ disapproval, that even in a life-or-death situation you had to pick being a doctor? Are you really so messed up?”

I opened my mouth to explain. I knew this class well, the strengths and weaknesses. I could use it to the team’s benefit. I had been a good teammate, one of the reasons we had placed so highly in the last tournament. I wanted to say all this and more.

But as I stared into the disappointment in his eyes, I felt myself slipping into old habits. Of staying quiet and nodding. Of keeping the peace and letting myself take the blame. I hated it, despised myself for it… but kept silent all the same.

“Should we just leave her behind?” Rita asked, giving no concern to me as I struggled to catch my breath after Jack’s strangling attempt. “She’s useless after all.”

“She used to provide good support.” Garrett spoke up. “We can keep her on the team until we find someone more useful…”

“I am not giving a spot on our team to a healer.” Jack closed his eyes and rubbed his temples for a moment, as if trying to calm himself down. Finally, he looked down at me coldly. “You can tag along with our team, without an official spot. You will do your best to be useful. Otherwise, we will leave you to die.”

Leave them! My heart screamed at me. Being alone is better than this! You didn’t commit some great sin by becoming a Healer! You just chose the best you could! Tell them!

Slowly, I nodded. “Fine.” My voice was still hoarse from the pressure he had placed on my throat. I adjusted my tone with the ease and familiarity of practice. “I’ll follow along.” I pushed the screaming voice in my head back, along with my pride. I knew I was worthless, a failure. I had been told that every day by the two people on the planet who were supposed to love me the most. Jack was only the latest person to say it out loud.

This was what I deserved.

The first month passed quickly. We went on multiple quests together, and settled into a comfortable rhythm. Jack would take the lead, with Garrett beside him to tank. Rita picked off far away opponents, and supported from the back. And I…

I did everything I could.

Outside of fights, I was cooking, keeping inventory, asking for quest information, and keeping the gear repaired and functional. Many nights I stayed up late, sharpening swords or repairing gear, only to have my hard work receive a nod and no other recognition.

In fights, I demanded even more of myself. Slipping in between enemies, causing damage. I delved down most of the “surgical” pathway of the healer ability, which allowed me to cause a diverse array of damage. I built up my MP until I could activate Wordless Incantation, as I found the group's irritation was a lot less if they couldn’t hear me. I immobilized enemies and allowed the others to finish them off. Because I had a hand in almost every single enemy’s death, I received a good amount of XP and fame from each fight, which angered Jack to no end.

“Stop stealing our experience!” He snapped after a fight, reading the notification that stated the rewards and experience given out.

“You asked me to immobilize them.” I answered quietly, feeling tired. “Do you want me to stop?”

“…” He glared at me silently for a few moments before answering. “Figure out a way to do it without taking my XP.”

“…sure.”

“I mean it, Healer.” From the moment he heard my class, he had never called me by my name. Our friendship, the time we had spent together… none of it meant anything next to the weight of the one undeniable fact:

I was a Healer. And therefore, in his eyes, I was a burden.

I kept my head down, trying to help out as much as possible. I learned not to ask for recognition. To not expect thanks. And I thought things would never change.

And then came the day we met Winter.

________________

PRESENT DAY

“Ouch!” Stephanie yelped as I carefully placed the needle through her skin, placing a simple suture across the wound on her calf. I didn’t hesitate with her cry of pain, tying the knot and moving on to the next stitch.

“The area has been numbed with magic, don’t pretend it hurts.”

“Yeah, I was just messing with you.” Stephanie laughed stuck her tongue out. “How did you know?”

“Because I know how it feels to sew my wounds shut without the local anesthesia spell.” I kept working without looking up. “You wouldn’t just be saying ‘ouch.’”  

“Uh…Well, thank you.”

I felt surprised at her words. After a year with the Hero’s party, I was so used to doing things without any gratitude or recognition. You’re not with them anymore. I let out a mental sigh of relief at the thought, and smiled at Stephanie. “You’re welcome.”

“YOU SMILED!” Stephanie tried to get up to hug me, but Alton reached over from where he was sewing cloth nearby and pushed her back down, shaking his head with a grin.

“Don’t interrupt her work.” Winter’s response was much colder, causing Stephanie to freeze in place.

“I’m on the last one anyways.” I squared off the last knot on the suture, cutting the tails and placing a clean bandage over my work. “Keep it dry for 48 hours, and then you can remove the outer covering and bathe.”

“Not to cheapen all the work you just put into repairing this cut for me…” Stephanie hesitated. “But wouldn’t a healing potion be easier?”

Alton shook his head, but before he could say anything Winter spoke up. “Stupid human.”

“HEY! I’m not stupid!” She glanced at me. “Right?”

“No, you’re not.” Raising an eyebrow at Winter, who settled down with a grunt, I continued. “Have you noticed that over time you’ve had to use more powerful healing potions?”

She thought that over. “Well, yeah, but… I’m higher level, and have more HP… Isn’t that normal?”

“Have you tried to use a basic potion recently?” I pulled one out, and tossed it to her. “Here.”

Stephanie caught it, clearly confused. “I’m only missing 5 HP… I don’t need something that heals 10…”

“Try it.”

“Okay.” She shrugged. “If you insist…” She drank the potion quickly, and then flinched at the notification. “…It didn’t work? … Not even the cut healed.” 

Alton continued to sew, but spoke up. “The more you use healing potions, the less they work. Fortunately, this seems limited to healing potions… mana recovery and other types of potions such as detoxification seem to not develop the same resistance. It’s also a slow process, but it’s becoming a universal issue. If you check the world chat this is a heated topic of discussion. Most people believe the that it’s related to level… but that’s not the case.”

“How do you know that?”

“They still work on me.” I answered quietly. “That’s why I carry the basic ones around.”

“Foolish humans… these potions were meant for true lifesaving emergencies… a basic healing potion should be enough to recover up to 50% of your health… but you drink them like water until they are worthless to you.” Winter sighed, looking over at me with a small smile. “That is why the Healers are such a vital class. In a world of constant danger and battle, of destruction and pain, only they have the power to heal and preserve. They are a noble, selfless light that protects those around them… someone to be protected at all costs. There should be a Healer in every party… but instead Nat is the only one left.”

“You did save me before!” Stephanie did get up unobstructed and hugged me. “Thank you!”

“And me.” Winter added, staring at the ground. “She saved me as well.”

“Hey, I distinctly remember passing out in front of her and being saved too, guys!” Alton spoke up, tying up his thread and checking the repair on his cape before looking at me. “I guess we are all indebted to you.”

I stared at all of them, feeling disturbed in my heart. “You guys… I’m…”

I’m worthless. Weak. And my weakness was used to destroy countless lives.

“… Thank you.” I silenced the words in my heart, and spoke a simple thanks instead.

“…” Winter was staring. I always felt he could see more than I wanted him too, as if my hidden thoughts and feelings were on display in front of him. But instead of commenting, he simply bent down, plucking a blue flower from the ground, and handed it to me.

“That’s so cute!” Stephanie clapped her hands, before freezing. “Wait! Are you two…?”

Alton paused in packing up his things and stared in our direction.

I shook my head silently at her before turning back to Winter. “Thank you. The mountain wild flower’s petals have strong anti-inflammatory properties. I’ll dry it out and process it for medication at our next stop." I pressed the flower carefully in one of my books and packed it away.

Winter nodded at my words. “You’re welcome.”

“It’s for medicine?” Stephanie frowned, disappointed. “Well, that’s boring. Where’s my drama?!”

Alton smiled widely. “Oh, don’t worry, I got your drama! Look in the world chat!”

Pausing, all of us pulled up the chat, excluding Winter, who leaned on a tree nearby and watched the display over my shoulder. The top topic in the chat was skyrocketing with engagement… and seeing the title it wasn’t hard to understand why:

___________________________

“TROUBLE IN PARADISE? HERO’S PARTY SEEN ARGUING WITH NEW MEMBER REBECCA THE SORCERESS! IS THE USELESS HEALER MISSED?”

There was great discussion today among players as a loud disagreement broke out among the Hero’s Party after their last quest line. Although it is unknown the exact nature of it, it seems to be surrounding the recent addition to the party.  Rebecca the Sorceress is the newest member of the Hero’s Party after the departure of the much-despised Healer. Many had cheered her arrival, as well as supporting the apparent budding relationship between the Hero and his new magical lady.

___________________________

“And you guys ask why I think humans are stupid.” Winter muttered as he read along with me. I shushed him and continued on with the post.

___________________________

But is there a fracture in the once iron-strong team? Words such as “Useless,” “Hiding” and “Potion sponge” were heard shouted by Rita the Holy Archer, with the Hero defending and Garrett the Giant siding beside Rita. Rebecca appeared to be in tears. Is this bullying the newcomer? Is Rebecca actually dragging the team down? What does this mean for the plans to attack the forty second gate in a few days?

Discuss your thoughts below!

___________________________

I sighed and closed the chat, seeing that comments were mostly just going back and forth over the juicy gossip. “What a mess.”

“You don’t sound surprised.” Alton commented with a grin.

“No. I’m not. Rebecca… she’s…”

“Useless?” Stephanie interjected.

“Full of tears and excuses?” Was Alton’s contribution.

“A snake who poisons those foolish enough to trust it.” Winter quietly added.

I laughed. “… I was going to say she’s a lot of drama… but I like your answers better. They are used to a certain standard of having everything done for them, even if I backed off quite a bit towards the end, when things had gotten really bad. I don’t think Rebecca will see my role within the group as appealing, though.”

“Oh well, their loss is our gain!” Stephanie cheered, hugging me again. “Let’s go hunting! I want meat for dinner!” She pulled out her sword excitedly.

“Yes, Natalie should have some meat to help her recover from all the battles we’ve been through.” Winter nodded, checking his bow and following.

Alton stood up and looked over at me. “Meat for dinner doesn’t sound bad… what do you think, Ms. Healer? Do you want to go hunting?”

“I don’t want to ruin their fun…” I started to say, looking at the backs of the two already moving ahead.

Alton’s voice was serious. “No. I’m not asking about them. I’m asking what YOU want to do.”

I paused, and my gaze met his own. After a few moments, I smiled. “Meat sounds great for dinner.” And I meant it.

“Then let’s go hunting with them.”  Was his answer.

And hunting we went.

With only two days left before we would face the forty-second gate.

[emnesoi]

FIFTY TO SIXTY THOUGHTS NOW

aaaa scary

ok i will comply but only because now this is a bit instead of just random

fuck i just knocked my phone over while i was taking off my headphones

i should take out the trash

tea is cool they should make more tea

oh right i was getting drunk i totally forgot and i have half a spiked drink at my desk

i wish my teddy bear would sit up well but the ds's between its legs mean it falls over a lot due to how the leg joints work

wow i have three ds's on this desk right now that's weird

my friend left her pocketknife over and i should really give it back to her

it's a really nice pocketknife but i dont wanna use someone else's pocketknife so i should ask her where she got it

fuck coming up with 60 thoughts is hard

i need to take more instant photographs i have one i took of a friend's tsukihi plush on the bulletin board over my desk

why did i say "friend" you know exactly who im talking about

is it weird that i have a bulletin board over my desk

theres a little shelf under that bulletin board and on it i have two 3d prints, one of a marker switch from myst and one that's a lithophane of the cover of the downward spiral by nine inch nails and i think it's interesting that despite the fact that i asked a friend to print the lithophane years before i got a 3d printer you could reasonably assume i printed both of them

wow that was a thought that took way too much time to expalin

theres a lot of guitar maintenance equipment at my desk which is weird cuz i typically do that stuff at my couch rather than here

jesus christ theres too much stuff on my desk

i dont even need this string winder cuz there's a better string winder literally right next to it

i think ive used that tuning pipe like once

theres also an ace ring right next to them and i think that's funny

when i bought this flashlight i was debating whether to get this pretty decent one or a really fancy expensive one and a friend said "get the expensive one and brag about it on r/flashlights" which immediately convinced me to get the pretty decent one

i also have a set of security screwdriver heads at my desk which my dad got for me and i remember him telling me that he went to the hardware store asking for security heads and they scoffed and went "if you could just buy those they wouldn't work" so he went home and bought two sets off the internet and i thought that was funny

i hope you're reading this in the tone of Jory in that one episode of the ten minute power hour where Arin sits him on his lap and painstakingly grills him about his favorite pokemon and it gets really awkward

wow that sounds really weird when i describe it like that

fuck im not even halfway done

if i had a nickel for every thought im gonna post here i would have $3 which isnt very much money

i got a humidifier recently because it's really dry in my room and im not used to anything in here moving besides me so i keep seeing the stream of fog fog out of the corner of my eye and going AH ! INTRUDER !

that's not a bespoke thought for this thread i posted that on a discord server earlier today does that still count

it's annoying how i have to turn off my vpn whenever i try to go on rateyourmusic because it thinks im trying to ddos them or something

i dont even rate my music i just go there to get an overview of what an artist's most liked albums are so i can get into them easier

that's why im getting into current 93 through sleep has his house rather than thunder perfect mind despite the fact that i think literally everyone except rym agrees that thunder perfect mind is better

though now that i look at it they're only 0.01 off so its not like that discrepancy is that weird

with all of the bonus tracks bandcamp has, thunder perfect mind is as long as swans' soundtracks for the blind and i think that's funny

long albums are cool and i should listen to more of them, some of my favorites that ive listened to recently can't fit on a cd

it's funny that "fitting on a cd" is my criterion for "long" when i havent been an active cd collector for quite a while, i guess that just kinda wormed its way into my brain

oh we're getting enough text in this post to make the editor lag that's scary i hope it'll be good for another 23 thoughts

hey 23 is the number of thoughts i had last time i commented on how many thoughts i needed to post

shit, no it wasn't, it was 26, i really should have checked

wow i hope this is interesting to read

how many words is this at this point i need to check

it's 875 as of that last thought not including bullet points, i think that's more than the number of words ive written for my actual writing in the past few weeks

since pages hold around 250 words that means you would need four pages (ceiling) to write as much as i had written by thought 41

will people understand what i mean when i say "ceiling" i hope so

i wonder how many words this will be when im done

i think i can estimate with that other word count

since 41 is roughly 2/3rds of 60, that means that the amount of words this will have at the end will be 875*1.5 which is 1312

holy shit that's the based number

i lied it's 1312.5 i just rounded it down so it would be the based number

wow it's REALLLLY starting to lag now i wonder if the text editor's unoptimizedness is exponential for some reason

at this point im in the 50s and you asked for 50-60 so i could reasonably stop here but i kind of already committed to 60 so i can't really

i wonder if this is what you expected when you sent this ask

probably not but i mean i don't know what else you could have expected, maybe just me brushing this off aloofly

i wish i had more money so i could buy more music

it's kind of weird that i buy music right like whenever i talk about this to people theyre like oh i just use spotify or youtube or whatever but im weird and neurotic and like owning things too much

it is so laggy now that sometimes ill make a typo and then correct it and then only see all of that happen like 10 seconds later

i wonder if it's weird that i can correct typos without actually seeing what i typed like i just Know

oh shit im nearing the end now i gotta make this count

i wonder what "making this count" means in this context like how would i make the final thought "epic" theyre just thoughts this has been a total stream of consciousness it's not really building to anything

kitty nyaaaaan

[peakyltd]

New Endings - Part 3

Part 3 | Tommy Shelby x reader

A/N: Well this is posted later than I intended but I was struggling with this one and after working a little bit too long on it, idk what to think of it anymore 🥲 Anyway, I hope you'll still like it!

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of injuries, mentions of domestic violence/abuse.

Word count: 5.4k

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART

Tommy held his aunt's displeased gaze, if her angry tone didn't already gave away how she felt, her eyes would for sure. "Did you forgot who her fiancé is? Who says we can trust her?"

"It's (Y/N), Pol." Tommy's toneless voice objected, not impressed by Polly's words. "You think people won't change? It’s our company that’s connected to the house, it’ll become a fucking target." She confuted.

Tommy had gathered Polly, Arthur, John and Michael for a family meeting in his office in Arrow House. He had enlightened them on the new situation and found details about David. Much doubt arose when he announced that (Y/N) stayed at the old family home, mostly from Polly who questioned her intentions or that from her fiancé.

“Ah c’mon Pol, d'you really think she’d try anythin'?” John turned in his chair to look at his aunt, his eyebrows furrowed. Not believing (Y/N) would have any intentions to screw them over.

“She won’t.” Tommy interrupted them as he leant back in his chair. He hadn't expect the backlash he just received, assuming they would all just accept it. The words of his aunt lingered in his head, maybe he was taking a risk but at the same time he didn’t believe (Y/N) would go against him. Not in the state he had found her in.

“She stays there. I’ll find her a home in the meantime.” He looked at each of his family members, a dominant look in his eyes, a sign that there was no room for negotiation. Something that didn’t work well on Polly. “You’re blinded, Thomas. Remember how it worked out for you the last time.”

Tommy clenched his jaw at her remark, annoyed that she brought up his late wife and the way she had lied to him. Despite the betrayal it didn’t stop him from loving her and forgiving her. Something Polly never did.

“I’m helping her so that bastard doesn’t kill her.”

Michael cleared his throat, the tension between Polly and Tommy was clearly palpable and it made him feel uncomfortable. “With who is David involved with?” He wondered, recalling the information Tommy gave them earlier. “I don’t know yet.”

“We’ll keep an eye on that bloody bastard, right Tom?” Arthur looked at his younger brother, showing him that he got his back. “We do.”

Polly shook her head. “Isn’t this place big enough?" She referred to Arrow House. "You have plenty of space for a guest.”

“She felt safe at Watery Lane.” Tommy directed his attention back to his aunt. Polly narrowed her eyes. “That’s what she tells you.”

Tommy sighed as he kept his gaze on her. “Thank you all for coming.” His brothers and cousin got up to leave the office together, unlike Polly, who remained in her chair with her arms crossed.

“You’re dismissed Pol, free to go.” He bossed her while he put his glasses on his nose and took a folder with documents from his desk.

“You wouldn’t let her stay here, do you?” Polly sneered at him. He looked up over his glasses. “I wouldn’t want to give off the wrong ideas now, do I?”

A humorless laugh fell off her lips. “Please, Thomas don’t-“ Tommy slammed the folder on the desk, making Polly slightly jump at the sudden noise. “Listen to me, eh?! She's no bad news. We’ll go see her tomorrow and you’ll see with your own bloody eyes what happened. I’m not fucking stupid Pol.”

Polly let the silence after Tommy's finished sentence surround them for a moment as she stood up. She walked over to his desk and leaned over it, pointing her finger in his face. “You don’t realize what you got yourself into.” Her eyes were boring into his, showing him that she meant it.

Rays of sunlight streamed trough the small gaps of the curtain, touching (Y/N)'s face in a kind way. The soft light slowly awoke her from her peaceful rest. She snuggled into the blanket as she opened her eyes, carefully taking in her surroundings. Her mind took her back to the events of the day before, just like it did during the night until exhaustion took her into it's arms and gave her the rest she so desperately needed.

The room felt safe and if she could, she would lock herself in there so she didn't have to worry about anyone. Unfortunately things weren't that easy and she had to prepare herself for her new future, something new and unknown.

She sat up and put the pillow against the metal bedframe. While she got comfortable, she looked around the room. It was exactly how she remembered it, the flower pattern on the wallpaper, the chair next to the bedside table and the tapestry that hung next to the bed. It was as if the younger versions of both her and Tommy could walk trough the door at any moment. The sigh that left her mouth was slow as she reminded herself of easier times.

She got up and changed into the dress that Tommy had left for her before opening the curtains. The sky had replaced the somber grey colors for a calm blue one, clouds were dappled here and there. Golden threads of the morning sun directly shined into the bedroom, a smile tugged on the corners of her lips as she looked outside. It felt as if this was nature's way to tell her that she made the right decision. Or well, she would like to believe it was.

She turned away from the window and left the room to make her way downstairs where she got herself a cup of tea. The kitchen didn't offer her the same safe feeling as Tommy's bedroom did, making her feel like some kind of intruder in a place where she shouldn't be.

She looked up at the clock on the wall, no idea on what to do next. Her belongings were not with her, she didn't dare to set a foot outside and she didn't know when or if Tommy came back today.

The sound of footsteps made her snap out of her thoughts as her heartbeat exceeded. "Good morning, love."

"Polly..." She breathed out the visitors name while she tried to keep her composure, knowing her voice had probably betrayed her already. She hadn't expect to see Tommy's aunt, at least not yet. "Good morning."

"It's been a while." The dark haired woman looked at her as a small smile played on her lips. While she eyed the younger woman in front of her, she let Tommy's words play trough her head again. He was convinced that they could trust (Y/N) however there was something that didn't sat right with her.

"It is." (Y/N) returned a small smile. "Would you like some tea? I just made some." She asked Polly, her hands trembled slightly while she put her cup on the table.

"I'll get it myself." Polly answered before taking off her coat and hanging it on the rack. "How have you been?"

"Well..." She let her hands rest on the back of a chair that stood by the table. "I'm alright."

"Alright?" Polly filled a cup and turned to face her. "If you were alright, I don't think you would be here." She pointed out while she sat down at the table. "I-"

"Please take a seat." Polly interrupted her, directing her with her eyes. Her gaze did not leave the woman in front of her until she sat down. "I heard you were engaged."

"I am. For a while actually." (Y/N) confirmed while she twisted the ring around her finger. She felt her palms getting sweaty, unable to tell why she felt so nervous all of sudden. Polly had always been good to her and they got along from the moment they had met.

Polly sipped on her tea, letting the silence linger for a while before she spoke up again. "You're living in London now?" (Y/N) nodded in response. "Yes." She wasn't able to stand the long silences Polly used after her answers. "It's been very different from what I was used to."

"Better?" The older woman asked her. (Y/N) shrugged. "In some ways."

"I think London is convenient for your fiancé's work, isn't it?" Polly's head was slightly tilted backwards as she looked down at her with a raised eyebrow, (Y/N) broke the eye contact and looked down at the table. "It is. Easier for the distribution of the car parts."

"I see." Polly noticed that the behavior of the woman in front of her was different, nothing like she had remembered. She noticed the bruises in her neck and on her arms, which she had tried to cover up with the dress she was wearing. Her confident appearance was replaced with fear and shame. "And now you're here."

(Y/N) felt Polly's gaze almost burning into her skin. Her questions made her wonder what else she knew about her life or David's. She just nodded, thinking about a way to tell her without making it too complicated for herself. "I couldn't take it anymore." Her voice was soft, almost too scared to admit it.

"Tommy told me." Polly's expression softened as she started to feel pity for her. "I didn't expect him to help me." (Y/N) dared to look up at her again as she heard a soft laugh coming from her mouth. "He's full of surprises lately."

The sound of the front door alerted both of them. She felt her body tense as she looked at the opening that led to the small hallway where a familiar man had showed up.

"Did I miss the tea party?" Tommy's low voice filled the room while he walked in, giving his aunt a stern look.

"You did." Polly shot back at him, unfazed by his attitude. "Very eager to come see her, eh?" He sneered, annoyed by the fact his aunt didn't listen to him. "I thought she'd like some company." Polly fake smiled at him, knowing exactly how to push his buttons.

Tommy took his cap off and put it on the table in front of him before sitting down. "Would you like some tea?" (Y/N) questioned, already getting up to get him some.

"No. I won't be here long." He leaned back in the chair, looking at her the way Polly did, waiting for her to sit back down. "Oh, okay." She sat back on her chair. "I guess you've already discussed a few things?" Tommy asked, referring to Polly's early visit.

"We did." Polly answered before drinking some of her tea. "Good." Tommy redirected his attention back to (Y/N). "We might have a house for you, it's not much but it's safe. You'll be able to move there in a few weeks."

"A house? Tommy..." While she was lost for words, she tried to let the new information sink in. Tommy took a wad of cash out of his pocket, shoving an amount of it, her way. "This is for food and clothes. Finn can get you some groceries." He assured her while glancing at his aunt who's dark eyes were almost burning holes into his skin. "And I'm sure Polly wouldn't mind to buy you a few dresses."

"No. No I can't take this." She pushed the money back to him. "You did enough already, I don't even know how I have to pay you back." She was taken aback by his gesture, it was way too much.

"You don't have to pay me back. Just take it." He shoved it back to her way, putting the rest of his money back in his pocket. "I know it's not the same as your belongings but this is what I can do for now."

"Oh no... Please don't worry about it. I'm... I just don't know what to say." It didn't felt right to take his money. She wasn't sure if it was because it came from Tommy or that things just went way too fast but either way it made her feel uncomfortable.

"You don't have to say anything. It's yours." He assured her while he got up, grabbing his cap off the table. (Y/N) looked up at him, shaking her head. "I can't-"

"You can." Tommy put his cap back on his head. "Can I at least invite you dinner for tonight? I can't just take it without doing anything back." She offered, it was the least she could do.

He looked at her in silence while blinking a few times. "If you insist." She nodded. "I insist. 7 PM? "

"I’ll see you tonight."

Plates were neatly put across from each other and the bottle of whiskey was already waiting to be opened. Food was almost finished and even though she was a bit late there was no need to hurry since there was still no sign of Tommy.

Knowing he was always on time, she started to worry. Maybe something had happened to him or maybe he changed his mind about the dinner. But if it was the last thing, he would’ve let her know. Right?

She cleaned her hands after she turned the stove off and peeked trough the window. The streets were pretty calm, except for a few people here and there but none of them was the one she was looking for. She decided to wait a little longer and sat down at the table, opening the book Polly had brought her, along with her new clothes and groceries.

It was a welcome distraction for the time she had to kill because much later than expected, Tommy finally entered the house.

She put her book down and looked up at him. "Is everything alright?" She asked him while he took off his cap and coat and sat down at the table. "Everything's alright." He looked at her when she gazed quickly over at the clock. "A little inconvenience at one of the factories." He added, addressing the fact why he was late.

An embarrassed feeling went trough her body when she noticed he caught her looking at the clock, not wanting to give him a feeling as if she was anxiously waiting for him. "Oh, no don't worry. I already thought that it had something to do with... business." She half lied, leaving out the fact that she was worried.

Tommy nodded as he observed her, noticing her new dress and the make up she was wearing. "I like the dress." He boldly told her, making her smile in response. "Thank you. I like it too, Polly got exactly what I wanted."

"I'm glad." He replied as he watched her get up. "You must be hungry." She assumed when she got his plate and took it to the stove. "I made roasted chicken and baked potatoes with cheese."

"It smells nice." He admitted while she put his plate back in front of him. She opened the bottle of whiskey and poured him a glass. "Thank you."

When she got herself a plate as well and had poured herself a glass of wine, she sat across from him. An uneasy feeling crept up on her, it felt weird to have dinner with him after everything that had happened. The only thing that made her feel better was that he didn't seemed as tensed as he was that morning.

"I hope you'll enjoy your meal." She politely smiled at him as she cut a piece of her chicken. "I think I will." He responded before taking a sip of his whiskey.

"Were you able to get some sleep last night?" Tommy wondered, he had noticed that she looked less exhausted than the evening prior. "Yes, a bit but enough to feel better than yesterday."

He nodded as he calmly ate his food. She eyed him carefully, becoming more aware of the things she had already seen in The Garrison. The tired look on his face and the lack of happiness in his eyes were a big contrast to what she had remembered. She thought back at the words he had said to her in the pub, their kiss and how she hit him after. She had felt a yearning to go back and undo what was done. What she did was equally as bad as the things David did.

"I'm sorry." She blurted out, earning a confused look from Tommy. "For what?"

She looked down at the table, feeling insecure under his intense stare. "Hitting you. You know... at The Garrison. After you-." She stammered, feeling stupid that she wasn't able to get out one proper sentence.

"It was very painful, y'know." He deadpanned. She looked up at him, a hint of guilt in her eyes until she realized he was joking. "I'm serious Tommy." He leant back and took a sip of his whiskey. "Me too, that ring hurts."

She parted her lips to speak up but didn't know what to say. A small smile appeared on his face. His attempts to be funny didn't gave her the chance to explain her feelings. "I felt really bad."

"Don't." He assured her, his way to ease her feelings. "You're not angry about it?" Tommy shook his head. "No, 'm not."

She was relieved that he wasn't mad about what she did although his short answers didn't gave her full satisfaction, wondering if he maybe didn't want to talk about it. While Tommy continued eating the food she made, she wondered if the silence had become a family thing since the conversation with Polly wasn't really flowing either. "So..." She awkwardly started, trying to bend the conversation into a different subject.. "How's the family been?"

"Good." He put the cutlery down. "Arthur got married, John became a father again, Ada and Finn are doing well." Her eyes widened in surprise. "Really?" She marveled with a small smile on her face. "That's great news."

"I guess it is." Tommy filled his glass with whiskey once more. His comment made her wonder what he meant but she decided to leave it. "Finn must've changed a lot."

"He did grew up, yeah."

"I remember I caught him smoking when he was just a little boy." She chuckled softly. "Probably wasn't the first and the last time." Tommy snorted lightly as the corner of his lips turned slightly upwards. He couldn't keep count on the numerous of times he had caught the young boy with a cigarette in his mouth.

(Y/N) shared a little more about her memories of the Shelby's as it seemed to be the easiest way to make a conversation with the one in front of her. While they finished their dinner and drank some more, he attentively listened to her stories.

"Well, I think I'll have to thank you for dinner, eh?" Tommy had turned his chair to look at her while she was doing the dishes. He had taken his suit jacket off, leaving him in his dress shirt and vest. "You're not staying for a drink?"

"I've already had a few." He stated as he saw how her lips turned into a smile. "I can get you a glass of water." Her witty comment made him think of the many she used to make all the time. "I'd rather not."

While she dried the last plate, she turned to look at him. "Then at least stay for one more?" She asked him. Despite their dinner starting off awkward, she ended up enjoying it and she wouldn't mind to chat a bit more. "Alright then."

Once she finished, they both moved to the small living room where they sat across from each other. The fireplace warmed the room and a few candles were spread trough the place, the flames glowing on their faces.

"The whole house is exactly like I remember it." She giggled, the wine had given her a little more confidence but also helped her to feel at ease. Tommy looked around, nodding his head slowly. "Not much has changed."

"It's weird to think about how it looks like time stood still while everyone's lives has changed so much." She concluded as her eyes fell on a picture of the three brothers, Tommy was no older than 19. Tommy's gaze moved to the picture before looking at her. "Everyone's lives or our lives?"

(Y/N) turned her head to meet his eyes and shrugged, not expecting his question as it seemed he wanted to keep a distance in every conversation that night. "Both, maybe." Tommy swirled his whiskey in his glass. "Do you think you'd be still living around here, if you didn't meet David?"

She thought about his question. "Maybe, yes. I don't think London is where I belong." She pulled her knees up and let her legs rest on the sofa she was sitting on. "It's too busy, I guess. The people are different as well."

"How did you meet him?" Tommy asked while he leaned his arms on the chair, curious about how she met him. "At a party, in a club. Also in London." She took a sip of her wine. "A friend invited me. He was there with a group of his friends and he came to the rescue when some Italian was bothering me." She smiled at the memory. "We hit it off pretty well and it turned out the Italian was friend of his who had a few too many drinks."

Tommy nodded once more, replaying the words in his head. This could be information that would help him find the missing link he was looking for, it confirmed his suspicion.

"For how long have you been engaged now?" He continued asking about her relationship. "6 months. He promised he'd do better so I said yes."

"But he didn't." He concluded. "No." She looked at the fireplace as she thought about the past few years. "For how long have you been married?"

"A few months." (Y/N) saw Tommy's eyes change, although his expression remained the same. "Did you love her?"

"I did." He sighed after he finished his whiskey. "Yeah.."

"I'm sorry Tommy." She immediately apologized. She didn't want her curiosity to be the reason behind a ruined night as it appeared to be a sensitive topic. He shook his head, his eyes finding hers again. "No, it's okay."

They both remained silent, thinking about their lives and how things could've ended so differently. (Y/N) decided to get up and get herself another glass of wine. She passed the chair where Tommy was sitting and gently took the glass out of his hand. Their fingers touched briefly, sending a kind of warm sensation trough his body. He looked up at her, her eyes meeting his as they locked their gaze for a moment. His electric blue eyes stared directly into hers, just like they had done many times before. A familiar feeling found it's way in her stomach before she looked away. "I'm- I'll get you a new one." She mumbled before making her way to the kitchen.

Her heart was beating faster as she leaned against the counter, not fully understanding what her body tried to tell her. While she took the time to get herself together, she decided to just blame it on the alcohol.

When she returned with their drinks, she found him smoking in his chair while he let his head rest on his other hand. His eyes were staring at the table. She stopped in front of him, getting his attention as he looked up. “Are you okay?” She asked before handing him his glass.

He blew smoke out of his mouth while he sat up. “I am.” Her hand found its way to his cheek as she gently stroked his skin with her thumb, a way to comfort him. Their eyes finding each other again while she continued. He had missed the genuine and gentle touches of solace. The contact of her skin on his, made him crave for more. Just as he wanted to lean into her touch, she pulled her hand away. Taking the comfort only she could give, with her.

She hadn’t expected to be so drawn to the urge to touch him. Usually she wouldn’t dare and she wasn’t even sure if he was okay with, although his intense stare almost assured her that she was doing something right. The increase of confidence from the alcohol was helping her more than she realized, it could be a good time to use it while it lasted.

“Can I ask you something?” She sat back on the sofa as she watched him finish his cigarette. “You can.”

“Did you mean it what you said? That the ring on my finger should’ve been yours?” Tommy blinked a few times before nodding slowly. “You know I did.”

“Then why did you let me go in the first place?” She let her fingers slide over the stem of her wineglass, the wait for his answer forming an unknown feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Because this life’s not a life where you belong. We'd be better off without each other.”

She remembered the countless arguments that started that last conversation which broke her heart. She didn’t want to give up on him, on them but he forced her to. He forced her out of his life as if it was nothing, as if she was nothing but just an erased memory.

She remembered the evening he told her it was for the best if they didn't saw each other anymore. It was for the best he said but in the end nothing turned out for the best.

She remembered how he told her how life was going to be from that moment, that she had no choice if she stayed but that the exact life within her choice, wasn’t one she belonged to. His words were harsh and his demeanor was cold, as if he didn’t want to understand her feelings or might as well pretended that he didn’t. Only to make it easier for himself.

She remembered how she called him a selfish bastard, how she hated him and how he just stared at her, saying nothing.

“You could’ve protected me and still let me live my own life.” Tommy shook his head as stubbed out his cigarette. “You hated how there were people always watching you, remember the many times you told me it was suffocating you? It only became worse after that, you wouldn’t be happy.”

She couldn’t deny the suffocating feeling it gave her, knowing that everywhere she went, there would be someone watching her. Good or bad, it didn’t matter. But she loved him deeply and a part of her didn't care anymore, as long as she could be with him. “I loved you, do you realize that?”

He sighed softly at her words before taking a sip of his drink. “You think I didn’t love you?”

“No… not the way you left me heartbroken with a shit explanation in the middle of the same fucking kitchen we just had our dinner in. If you really loved me, you would’ve listened to me but you never did.” Her words held the anger she had for years but still came out calmly. "And don't even get me started on how quick you fucking replaced me, that's not love."

Tommy clenched his jaw, his eyes narrowing slightly. “I listened (Y/N). I always fucking listened but I knew it would never make you happy. I never would. And talking about replacing, eh? I fucking told you I didn't replace you. Have you forgotten how I went looking for you after you left?"

She scoffed as she listened to him. “Oh yeah, because you were so sorry. So sorry for yourself, that you ended up alone again." Her voice became louder, just like the anger within her. "If you really wanted to find me, you would. Just like a few weeks ago."

"You didn't want to be found." He defended, getting annoyed at her accusations. "Not after what you did, no."

He shook his head as he put his glass on the table, a little harsher than expected. “You wouldn’t be happy but I wanted you to be.” He pointed his finger at her. “I didn’t want to throw away the years we had and I didn’t want to break your fucking heart but I knew how much you loved your fucking freedom and I didn’t want to be the person that would take it away from you.”

She looked at him, his words hitting her in a way she didn’t expect. His voice was strong and determined. She wasn't sure if it was anger or not. “You were always that strong, independent woman. Always out there to do whatever you wanted. Who the fuck was I to take it away from you, eh? You know it would’ve made you unhappy. Love wouldn’t have changed that.”

“I still am.” Her words sounded soft as she disagreed with his statement. “What?” His eyebrows furrowed at her comment. “I’m still the same woman. You said were.”

“Please, have you looked…” Tommy didn’t finish his sentence, instead he took a deep breath and leaned back in the chair, pinching the bridge of his nose. Her body tensed and her eyes narrowed as she waited for to finish his sentence. “Have I looked, what?”

“Have you looked at yourself?” He continued his abruptly stopped sentence. He sat up straight, his voice picking up the same tone as before. “You’re far from that. The woman I knew would’ve dared to yell in my face if I deserved it, she would speak up when no one else would and she wouldn’t take shit from anybody.”

(Y/N) gulped at his words, tears brimmed in her eyes as she kept his gaze, listening to the other things he had to say.

“The woman in front of me is a ghost of all of that. The spark in your eyes is gone and all I see is fear. You changed in the worst way and it’s because of him. He fucking ruined you (Y/N).”

She sniffled softly, as she tried not to break down in front him. He was right.

Tommy's eyes did not leave her frame. She tried to take a deep breath, ready to speak up but she couldn't. He moved to the edge of his seat to place a hand on her knee, squeezing it gently.

"You're nothing better." She choked on her words as she watched his thumb moving in patterns over her knee. "I would've ended up the same as I stayed with you." Of course he wasn't the same as David but her life wouldn't have looked much different than from what it did now.

Her mind took her back to David who told her so many times how much he loved her. Who always made it up to her after his outbursts, telling her how sorry he was and that he would do better. He did, even if it only lasted for a few days until he fell back in old patterns. Despite it all, she still loved him, or at least she thought she did. Perhaps it could be the fear speaking, that when she told herself she didn't, he'd come find her.

Tommy shook his head as he felt himself losing his temper. There were many people who held grudges against him and those also brought many accusations however being compared to David was something completely new.

"If you ended up the same, then please enlighten me on the last time I caused this." He grabbed her arm and lifted her sleeve a little harsher than intended, revealing her bruised arm.

She gasped and looked up at him with widened eyes. "Stop, Tommy." While he let go of her arm, she quickly pulled her sleeve down. "I never laid one single finger on you, now tell me again that I'm nothing better than that fucking bastard!" His voice was harsh and full of bitterness. "I don't understand why you keep fucking defending him while nothing like this looks like the love you've been desperately looking for."

She watched him get up and looked up as he towered over her. His words hitting her like he hoped they did, an attempt to wake her up and make her realize what she was doing.

"If you want to go back to him, then please go but remind yourself that if you stay with him, you'll end up six feet under within a year. And he wouldn't even be sorry."

Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you think!

Taglist: @cyphah @kissforvoid @liter4ti

[rowretro]

𝕾𝖙𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗

✧taglist✧: @nxzz-skz   @nshmrarki @wntersm @eabananayoi

(anyone else? I think I may have missed a few names or tagged them on a dif post by accident)

WARNINGS: BLOOD, MENTIONS OF DEAD BODIES, nothing else I know of

✧CHAPTER 5✧

It was nothing new in the boys’ house. Waking up, doing a normal morning routine, then coming downstairs to find a whole blood bath in the living room.

 The girl stared, stunned as she watched Heeseung be so casual, laughing and joking with Jungwon as he poked one of the dead bodies with a stick “Painted our white sofa red. Broke whore couldn’t even be grateful enough to clean up after himself.”

 He scoffed, as he clicked his fingers at the guards “I want this room cleaned and the furniture replaced while we’re at school.” Heeseung ordered, smirking as he saw Babe step in, flinching at the sight of the gory scene. 

She silently grabbed her bag, and opened the front door, only for it to get slammed shut forcefully. “Where are you off to without us?! We’re going to the same school.” Heeseung simply said, his arm trapping her between the door and his body. 

“I-I need to get my uniform from home… I’ll meet you at school though-” she faked a smile as Heeseung scoffed “Fine… get in the car I’ll drop you off.” Heeseung coldly stated as the girl gasped. 

There was no way she’s letting them know where she lives. She can’t let them know where she lives, her home is her only safe place.

 “No need, seriously- it’s walking distance-” the girl added as Heeseung frowned at her attitude. “I’m being nice aren’t I? I’m literally offering you a ride babe, are you sure you want to miss out on it?!” He asked, his stare intense as the girl opened the front door “trust me, I’m fine… see you in school-” she said before leaving the building, and running all the way home.

. . .

Upon arriving at her place, she locked the doors and double checked that no one followed her. She peacefully took a quick shower, changed into her uniform and hopped onto her motorbike after rushing her makeup, speeding to the highest, and safest limit she could as she was practically already late. 

10 minutes after the lesson had started, Babe came rushing in, helmet still on her head, the girl out of breath “Sorry I’m late” she apologized through heavy breaths as the teacher blinked. “You forgot to take your helmet off,” the man pointed out, as the girl sighed, taking it off as she went to her seat beside Ning Ning.

 The girl was an extremely enthusiastic, outgoing extrovert, befriending practically everyone. However her energy can be a little too much for Babe to handle. In the nicest way possible, Ning Ning is annoying. “Ooh you even have gems and rhinestones on your helmet? That’s so cool!” she exclaimed quietly, not wanting to trigger the teacher.

 Babe sighed and faked a smile, before continuing to take notes. Ning Ning, however, was distracted, her head on the table, as she took a nap. That was the only time she’s ever been quiet, but the babe mentally admitted, she kind of missed her noisiness.

It was finally break time, the boys out of sight. It was weird. Ever since she arrived at school she didn’t see them anywhere, not even in the first 2 lessons.

 The girl shrugged, sitting with Eunchae where Ning Ning was enthusiastically telling the girls her latest gossip in school “Did you hear? Apparently they’re cleaning it up now! The boys got into a fight earlier, like right before school… there was so much blood everywhere I wouldn’t even be surprised if someone died!” Ning Ning exaggerated.

 “OOH and the person they beat up was a guy that was interested in Babe~” Ning Ning sang as her sentence was followed by the girls’ oohing her. Babe’s eyes widened when she saw the boy’s walk in. 

Just as Ning Ning was about to say something else so daring, Babe stuffed a bunch of popcorn in Ning Ning’s mouth, catching her off guard “YOU SEEM HUNGRY HERE TRY THIS- ITS BIBBLE FROM THE UK-” she exclaimed, muffling Ning Ning’s sentences.

 Jungwon glanced at them, weirded out by her behaviour, while Jay rolled his eyes, approaching them. “Babe Lee. did you forget where you sit or is this some kind of cry for attention?!” Jay asked coldly as he walked off, the girl hastily grabbing her things, running after him.

. . .

Babe was silent, watching as the boys played basket ball outside in the cold. No teachers or students were here as it was pretty late after school. Riki was still staying at home, resting as his fever was fairly high.

Sunghoon was simply smoking some cannabis, giggling with Jake about some random shit. Heeseung flawlessly shooting hoops, teasing Jay, as Jungwon also joined in by teasing the both of them, bouncing the ball out of their hands and running.

They looked so sweet and harmless that verry moment. Babe, looked in her small bedazzled Mirror she keeps in her pocket, frowning as she saw that her lipstick faded, her lips now deprived of the pretty nude-ish pink shade. 

She slowly applied the lipstick, making sure she doesn't apply too much. whenever she got some colour anywhere that's not on her lips, she softly wiped it away with her finger.

The girl applied some more lipstick on her lower lip, flinching as the basket ball hit the space beside her. "Go get the ball Jay-" Heeseung frowned as the male rolled his eyes. Babe frowned as she saw the stride of product on her face.

Just as she was about to wipe it away with her sleeve, the soft hands of Sunoo meet her cheeks, he smiled as he wiped it off properly with some makeup wipes. "Let me do your lips- it's so satisfying" he simply asked.

Quite taken aback by his sudden softness, Babe smiled and handed him her lipstick, lip gloss and lipliner. He was so focused, using his thumb occasionally to blend out the makeup.

he frowned looking through her collection of lip liners, noticing they were all pretty dark. Sunghoon who was witnessing the cute scene simply pointed at one for him, as the male took it and started reapplying the liner on her lips, blending it in so it won't look ridiculous.

He pecked her lips quickly, not ruining his artwork, before applying the lip gloss over it. "I've never actually done anyone's makeup before- you should start letting me do yours more often, your lips look prettier, even though they already were pretty-" He simply said as the girl thanked him.

Wasn't it just this morning that these boys who are seemingly sweet, innocent and carefree, were brutally murdering some bastards and enjoying every scene of it?.... 

✧𝕾𝖙𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗✧

[ogdilfluvr]

hey babes saw ur post that ur asks are open😏.. if you dont mind i would like to place an order. ive been itching for a stubborn fem!reader where reader and simon are just bickering and he just fucks it outta her. mb if this didnt make sense lmao

hey here's your stubbornfem!reader x ghost

"I told you, I'll be fine I'm not going to stay at the base just because you think I can't handle myself!" you shouted angrily at him, as soon as the mission was brought up in the conversation he told you that you weren't going, no argument, but you were NOT going to let him treat you like you can't be independent and make your own decisions.

"I said you're not fucking going, end of story. Don't try and defy me y/n I'm still your lieutenant." he spit back, he was so annoyed at you for even thinking about going on this mission, Price had already expressed how dangerous it was, everything had to be done precisely to perfection or the whole mission would go South. He was so worried about you and he didn't want you getting hurt, not when he could prevent it.

"Why don't you want me to go?! It would be good for me to get out there and help out, more people equals easier getting in and out!" You yelled, licking your lips and biting at your already swollen lips, it was the only thing occupying your mouth to keep you from blowing up on him.

As he thought of something to say that could possibly make you calm down he examined you, staring at the way you held your body you exuded anger and confidence, the way you chewed at your perfectly plush lips, making them look red and even more kissable than usual. You just looked so hot, and there was tension built up and both of you could tell, so... That's why Ghost was darting towards you and capturing your lips in a heated kiss.

All tongue and teeth, it was so messy and desperate. He didn't break apart from you as he practically ripped your clothes off, shoving your pants and panties down your legs and pushing you against the wall, hiking you up it and wrapping your legs around his hips.

He had already pulled away from the kiss but had yet to take a look at you, and when he did, it was one of the best sights in his entire life. Your once icy glare had been turned into a desperate, begging look in your eyes, and your hair was all messy from the quick movements he made previously.

"you want me to fuck you now? after you've been defying me all afternoon?" He asks teasingly. "please.. I need you so bad.. im sorry si-" you answer back in a much less confident tone than earlier. And before you can finish begging he's capturing your lips with his again and undoing his belt, unzipping his fly and pulling out his hard length, the tip was already red and dripping with pre.

He stroked it lazily a few times before tapping his tip against your throbbing clit repeatedly, causing you to whimper out quietly. "you ready f'me doll? I doubt you need any prep, your already soaked..." he groans out the last part, which make you clench around nothing, you finally nod as an answer and he doesn't make you say it verbally, like he usually does, he just lines up his length to your entrance and plunges it deep in you. eliciting a loud airy moan from your bitten up lips.

"fuck... I forgot how tight you are..." he says quietly, to himself or to you, you really don't know. he slowly starts moving his hips in shallow thrusting movements. his dick was just so fucking big you could only babble out incoherent sentences. finally you were able to say something that made sense "move faster- please." you whimpered out.

ghost immediately took that in and decided he would do it, so he wrapped his arms around you and carried you from the wall to your bed, pushing your back against the mattress and pushing your knees to your chest, if it was even possible he was hitting deeper inside you, his tip bumping against the sweet spot that made you see stars.

before you knew it he was pounding into you, almost a hundred times faster and harder than he was before, "this what you wanted doll? f'me to rearrange your goddamn guts?" He chuckles, knowing you could barely even talk. You could barely even make out a sentence, so you could tell him you were about to cum. But you didn't need to, because he already knew.. "you gonna cum already? how pathetic, c'mon cum on my cock, make it yours!" He said quite loudly, almost mocking you but he was still encouraging you, so you did, not able to hold back any longer. Your hole spasmed around his thick cock and your pussy gushed juices.

"fuckin hell.." he mumbled quietly, "never made you cum that hard before." he said to himself, still keeping up the same pace, the overstimulation making you twitch and shake under him.

"im gonna cum- fuck, let me fill you up- please.." he said quietly, pleading in his head for you to say yes. You nodded lazily and that was all he needed before he was throwing his head back, moaning out loudly as his cock spurted his thick hot cum deep inside of you, sticking to and coating your inner walls.

"fuckkk- you did so well, you still mad at me doll?" He said while plopping himself down next to you, turning to face you and take in your fucked out expression.

"no..." you mumbled out.

just wanted to say sorry if this was bad it's my first time writing any requests and real smut, feel free to give feedback and tell me if u want me to rewrite this and tweak it.

[ninnseo]

One Rosehearts’ enemy is another Rosehearts’ lover

Wherein Riddle’s younger sibling is dating Floyd, who is part of Riddle’s “students to avoid” list. As a solution, you try to hide you and Floyd’s relationship from him

This is part one!!

- Look, after Riddle's overbolt, he realized that it wasn't just him who was affected by his mother's manipulation, but you were affected by it too

-During your childhood, he sort of failed to be a good big brother in order to follow his mother’s rules, but now that he’s come to his senses, he’s gonna try to make up for the lost time

-He’s trying his best your honor

-Now, I don’t think he would be those overprotective brother at first, but have you seen the NRC students?? While some of them are nice, like Kalim, some of them well…really get on his nerves (Floyd)

-While Ace is from his dorm, he’s one of the students that Riddle can’t really stand sometimes. His list of students that he doesn’t particually like just had to include your so called lover, Floyd Leech

-When you first started dating Floyd, you didn’t want your relationship to be public because you were scared of how Riddle would react

-We know that Riddle is a changed man after his overbolt, so you didn’t really worry what he would do to you, but rather what he would do to Floyd

-Floyd was upset that he couldn't act like he was dating you in public, but he respected your decisions

-He did mention it to Jade and Azul; he just forgot to mention the part where it wasn’t supposed to be known to the public

•••

Props to you for keeping your relationship a secret from Riddle for 2 weeks. No, but you made sure to keep this hidden—you told a few friends(that weren’t from Heartslabyul)about it, you kept his contact name the same, and you even timed how long you could look at Floyd during lunch before it got too obvious.

On the other hand, Floyd did everything to try to make you flustered around your brother. Two days into your relationship, he tried to hug you after basketball practice, but you moved out of the way. The next day, when you ate lunch with the Heartslabyul group, he tried putting his arm around you, but you swatted his arm away and pretended as if he was shooing a bee. It was a long week.

Today, you were both eating lunch on the bench in the school's garden. You lied, saying you were going to eat lunch with your friends, while Floyd lied about having to help Azul again.

"Ne~ Angel fish, you know that goldfish has to know eventually," Floyd says.

"Mmm... I don't think so," you pout, "you've seen how he is whenever you 'play' with him. It doesn't make it any better that he absolutely loathes you."

"So you're never going to tell him?" he asks, feeding you some of his own lunch while pouting.

You take the time while chewing to think about when the appropriate time is to tell Riddle about it.

"I'm sorry, Floyd, we could be married with kids and I still wouldn't be able to tell them."

Floyd suddenly had a big grin on his face. "Marriage and kids, huh?" and you thwacked his forehead. "In your dreams," you said, laughing.

“what in the twisted wonderland is going on in here?!”

You and Floyd turn your heads to see an annoyed Riddle approaching the two of you. At that point all you could think about is how screwed you are.

The end~ hehehe

Dw like I said earlier there’ll be a part two!

Sorry that i’ve been inactive for a LONG time, but i’ll be trying to post more! If you have any request you can say it in the comments or just dm me 😅

Anywaysss ty for reading have a nice day<3

[rotten-corpses-blog]

Could I get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

JD smut, a big Mac with extra fries, and for the drink- *incoherent whispering to passengers* -yeah can I get that drink as uhhh small bondage?

If you can't make that happen, could I maybe get JD being jealous over reader getting hit on, please?

Thanks broskieroni

How about both? I like both, we'll do both.

Content warning: sexual harassment, smut, bondage

You were going to kill Kurt Kelly, the fucker has been harrasing you while you are trying to eat your lunch and waiting for your loving boyfriend, but Kurt can’t take “no” and “go fuck yourself” for an answer. “Leave that emo shit and come with me I can show you a good time.” Kurt said as he tried to grab you once again. “For the 100th time, no! I have a boyfriend who loves me and I don’t want your shrimp dick!” you growled as you swatted the perv’s hands away from you for the 6th time in 5 minutes. You were getting pissed, where is JD? What is taking him so fucking long? “You know you want my dick, don’t act like you don’t.” Kurt said with a wink, as looked away to avert any eye contact, you realized Kurt was fucking grabbing himself. You immediately felt nauseous.  Until you heard JD’s voice, “Fuck off Kurt she said no stop being a pervert and leave my girlfriend alone.” Kurt moved his mouth to protest until he saw the look on JD’s face. Kurt basically ran away, not wanting to have to deal with an angry JD. JD gave your head a kiss after he sat down. “You ok? Sorry I wasn’t here earlier. I got caught up with something.” JD explained, looking your body over to make sure Kurt didn’t hurt you. “I’m fine, just annoyed and disgusted.” you said leaning into JD. “I think I know a way for him to leave you alone.” JD whispered in your ear, “Oh yeah? And what would that be?” “Just wait till after school baby doll.”

School was finally out, you and JD were just hanging around his house. “Hey JD, what did you mean earlier?” you asked, you had an idea what he meant but you didn’t know exactly, knowing JD of course. JD smirked, JD’s lips met yours as he started a quite aggressive make out session. JD sat you up on the bed you two were sitting on and took off his belt and tied your hands to the bed posts. “JD fuck me” you whined “I will babe, don’t worry.” JD said. You felt him kiss and bite your neck, leaving dark hickeys. “Now everyone will know your mine, your all mine baby.” You moaned and wiggled under him, you felt so hot it felt like torture. “JD please touch me, I need it.” you said, you tried to grind your hips against JD but he was faster than you, he held your hips down as he bit your neck hard, drawing blood. You moaned and whined at the pain that shot pleasure right to your core. Finally JD lifted himself off of you and pulled down his black jeans and boxers, letting his cock spring up and hit his lower stomach. JD gave you a long, passionate kiss as he lined up at your entrance. You both gave a moan as he thrusted into you, fucking you nice and fast. “Oh JD!” you moaned out as he started to fuck into your g spot. “Kurt can’t fuck you like this can he baby? JD growled as he started to speed up. “No! Only you can JD!” you said, you were in heaven with all of the pleasure you were getting. JD’s thrusts started to get uneven and shaky. JD reached down and rubbed your clit you both started to get closer to an orgasm. “JD!” you yelled as your orgasm crashed through you, JD followed shortly after, filling you with his cum. The both of you just laid there trying to catch your breath , then you realized you were still tied to the bed. “Hey JD?” “Yeah babe?” “Can you untie me?” “Oh shit I forgot, sorry.” You laughed as JD untied you, Today was a good day, and maybe men should hit on you more often.

[sebastianstansqueen]

Lost In The Shadows: Part Twelve

A/N: This one is short, sorry, also have began writing my next series, my stuff about that will be up once i'm finished posting this story, hoe you like it, If you want to be Tagged, either send an ask or comment on this or click on Taglist open.

Wordcount: 1,159

Warnings: angst, Guns, Bucky being unaware, Wayne, and Brock if I forgot anything let me know please!

Masterlist // Series Masterlist // Taglist open// 

Tags: @cherryblossomsky- - @babylooneytoonz - @wonderlandfandomkingdom - @miraclesoflove - @amelia-song-pond- @leyannrae- @avengerlex - @pineprincess - @nik2write - @dorothea-hwldr - @rosie-posie08 - @scxrletrecsmarvel - @sebsgirl71479- @missvelvetsstuff - @hadesownhell - @casa-boiardi- @winterslove1917- @hallecarey1 - @ash-craze - @barnesxstan - @unaxv - @bethexo07 - @itsmytimetoodream - @sebastians-love - @stoneyggirl2  - @ordelixx - @arunabrak

After the stress of being at the hospital worried sick everyday, Y/n had to admit being at her villa in Italy was a nice change from the compound back home. It was also nice that she was able to get Bucky an arm with the thought of mind that money was no object, so she got the best of the best. The best part was it was just her and Bucky, since everyone  back home wanted to keep it hush hush that they were leaving, there wasn’t a security staff always lurking nor did she have any professionals roaming the house like cleaners, and kitchen staff, it felt normal, and she almost didn’t dare say she liked it. 

Currently she sat by the pool, while Bucky was swimming laps, she softly smiled to herself as she thought about it. Tonight they were going to roam the city, starting with an art gallery and then dinner. A lot of this felt so domestic to her and she couldn’t fully hate it. “You okay?” Bucky asked, her eyes opened as she looked at him. “I know you’ve been stressed.” And there was also that, if Bucky remembered he would probably understand the why, because technically you were both in hiding. 

“Bucky, if anything I’m for once not stressed.” She lied through her teeth, she was more stressed than ever before, because they were stuck in a foreign country Bucky had no memory of the Mafia, and for the first time since taking her family business back she wasn’t the one in control of everything, and she hated that. “If anything, I’m excited about tonight, it’s gonna be romantic.” 

As the two of them walked around looking at different paintings, sculpture and other pieces of work. It was nice until a bullet hit one of the paintings, Y/n’s eyes widened. “Get down!” She yelled, she pulled out her own gun that had been tucked away in a secret pouch in her overly big purse, as more bullets came through breaking the glass.

“What the hell is going on?” Bucky asked with wide eyes. 

Y/n looked at him. “Believe me Bucky in another life you’d understand, but for now follow what I do.” She aimed her own gun at the glass ceiling of the building, where she couldn’t see even an outline of a person, she took a deep breath in irritation. “Okay, we’ve gotta get on that roof.” 

“That’s where the bullets came from.” Bucky hissed out. 

Y/n nodded. “I know.” She got up moving, Bucky moved her as she had told him. As people who weren’t dead ran around in panic and fear, and red lights went off with an annoying alarm and people who had gotten shot in the spray of bullets moments earlier laid on the ground crying or dead.  She moved around until she found a roof entrance, she began running up the stairs, when both of them made it up to the roof Y/n found who she was looking for meaning whoever it was wanting to kill her had an open air shot to get her. As Y/n saw it was two people, Sharon and Wayne, Y/n scoffed, wind caused her hair to blow everywhere. “You two have got to be shitting me! You're working together?” 

They both looked at her with wide eyes. “She betrayed Brock, so I'm here for both of you!” Wayne was the first to speak. 

Y/n began to actually laugh. “That’s a good one Wayne, you're working for Rumlow, you're not even stupid enough to do that.” 

“You're the one who’s gonna lose out, Y/n, you are the one who lost doing business with him, and you're gonna die for it.” Wayne smiled wickedly, Y/n noticed he looked different; he'd been bulked up or something. 

“Are you on that fucking staroids he wants to sell on the streets?” She scoffed able to tell, by the obvious side effects. 

“It’s called ‘the serum’.” He said aggressively. 

“Oh, please, all those blue crystals are gonna do for you is kill you eventually.” Y/n was taunting him. 

“Okay that's enough.” Sharron stopped her from continuing. “I’m killing you, and then taking everything you’ve built.” The blond held up a gun at Y/n, making her do the same. 

Y/n, wasn’t aiming for her sister but Wayne, as her finger pressed the trigger Sharons did the same and she ducked down, with Bucky as she watched Wayne fall off the building with blood spreading on his shirt. 

Sharon watched and hurried to follow where he fell, jumping off knowing Y/n was giving her one more chance to get her. Y/n liked a game especially with her sister, so she was willing to play it, if Sharon killed her next time she’d win, only getting one more chance to try again, before Y/n would kill her. Y/n looked at Bucky making sure he was alright, he looked shaken up but no wounds, she helped him up. “Are you okay?” She asked, and he nodded. “Okay come on.” 

When they got back to the villa she began packing everything they had brought, moving as fast as she could.  “Y/n what the hell was that!” Bucky yelled, making her freeze up, stopping what she was doing.

Y/n whipped around. “You're not gonna talk to me like that!” She yelled back. “You're the one who doesn't remember anything, and doesn't know what is going on so you're not gonna yell at me, I’m doing this for your safety, because I care about you.” 

“Explain what’s going on then.” He said with irritation. 

“My sister, who is a skilled assassin, and a guy I refused to do business with are trying to kill me and possibly you, and that’s how we ended up in the hospital I’m assuming, and your don’t remember this because of what you got in the accident, Bucky I’m a mafia boss and so is your brother, but we’ve gotta go if you want to live.” She spoke with pure urgency, she moved up to him, placing her hand in his, she slowly moved in closer to him, kissing him softly. “Bucky, I love you, and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, if you come with me I’ll make sure you don’t die.” 

Bucky pulled her closer to him. “I’ll go with you, but be honest with me from now on.” 

Y/n looked at him and nodded. “Okay, for now pack, I’ll figure out where to next.”

_____

Brock shook his head, as Wayne's feed and tracker turned red, he slammed his hand on the desk, a mix of anger and joy. Wayne had been helpful but soon became a pest on his shoulder, he huffed knowing he needed to know Y/n’s next move. He had to be the one to finish her off. 

[tiredpandaportfolio]

Idle thoughts about how I write the Sparda boys.

I worked on this while waiting for BG3 to come out and forgot to post it. 

I want to ramble a little about how I personally write them, what my particular headcanons are for them. Because some of my takes differ from the official canon and they certainly might differ from the way other people perceive them.

And you know what? That’s fine. Everyone’s HC is valid. We might not accept someone else’s HC within the confines of our own, because it doesn’t line up with what we’re writing for ourselves, but it’s possible to like someone else’s take because it’s different from yours. So here’s how I write certain topics. You can ask me about others, if you’d like.

Height and Body Shape

They are truly, stupidly tall. It runs in the family. It’s a bane for their more vertically-challenged colleagues. Like, none of them is below the 6′2″ mark, not even V who is a beanpole. And with the exception of V, they’re all quite broad in the shoulderts too, they all have trouble finding clothes that fit right. 

Dante is easily the most ‘buff’ of them, with Nero looking like he’ll head that direction, but he probably won’t get that stupid big. Dante’s years of hard life and constant fighting have had an effect on his physique. He’s aware that it’s appealing and he’s got enough vanity to flaunt it, when he can. Ironically, he doesn’t always take care of his appearance. Nero on the other hand, sort of does, but only because Kyrie hounds him. Most of the time he prefers to be very casual. He tries to cut his own hair, but Kyrie has to fix it for him every time, which is why it ends up so short.

Dante’s cheap ass also cuts his own hair but at least he’s learned to do it decently well.

Vergil is the most svelte, he has the physique of a dancer... which is ironic considering he hates dancing (or so he tells himself). He is very particular about his appearance and doesn’t really like change. That’s why he always looks like he’s been wearing the same exact clothes for years and years, a fact Dante will rib him about any chance he gets. Of the twins, Vergil gets the most irritated when someone says he and Dante look alike.

And yes, Vergil is the tallest of the three but he can hardly flex on it because Dante simply looks larger by dint of being buff. It frustrates him.

Teeth

Dante and Vergil have noticeable fangs, have had them since their baby teeth fell out, which was much earlier than normal kids. They used to freak out other children, further alienating them from others. They absolutely used to bite each other whenever they got into fights.

As they got older Dante, at least, made an effort to speak without flashing them constantly and has sort of trained himself to keep them from view. Vergil, on the other hand, responded by becoming the taciturn, aloof idiot we know and love, only ever speaking freely when he was around Dante. Now, after all he’s been through, he’s simply entirely unbothered if people notice he has fangs or not. He only gets annoyed if they start to pry.

Nero’s also got ‘em, they’re just smaller and more blunt. They were not very visible when he was little and overall, got picked on more regarding his hair color and his terrible temper.

They all absolutely bare their fangs when they’re agitated or angry, but Dante will also bare them when he’s in his impish mood because he knows it unsettles others. He’s showing off and he doesn’t care. It’s most egregious when he yawns.

Senses

They have very sharp senses and an acute sense of their surroundings. Dante and Nero’s superior marksmanship is directly related to their excellent eyesight. Vergil, considering what he’s been through, has found that his eyes are very photosensitive now, which is why he avoids strong sunlight whenever he can. His eyesight is as good as ever, but he’s taken to using reading glasses only when reading, to try and prevent headaches from small print.

They all have a very developed sense of smell but of the three, Dante is the most experienced in using his senses to track things, particularly demons. He’s especially responsive to the smell of blood and has tracked down demons simply by following the stink of spilled blood in their wake. He also (unfortunately) has the strongest reaction to the smell of witch blood.

Amusingly, these sharp senses mean the boys are very particular about their hygiene. They regularly get absolutely covered in filth and while they may tolerate it and look unbothered, they really do want to get clear of the excitement so they can get rid of the smell.

How Demonic Are They?

A loaded question with no simple answer. Nero is the easiest to dissect; he is more human than demon. He feels that way and his behavior isn’t really that different or alienating, most of the time. His bad temper and eagerness to fight are entirely human flaws, something that comes from his personality and his upbringing rather than any demonic instinct. He has an easier time resisting such inclinations. Heck, he’ll resist the urge to throw down and fight if he thinks it’s a bad idea -- doesn’t happen often but it does.

Vergil and Dante are another story. The demon blood is far too strong in them. But so is the human will. The twins are caught in the crossfire of their two sides constantly fighting. Sometimes one dominates, sometime the other. Vergil was the first to embrace the demonic nature, but he did so by discarding his humanity. He did not try to come to a compromise with himself because, to his detriment, until recently Vergil did not compromise on anything. Dante went the other way, resisting and even denying his demonic side for so long that Vergil had to force it out. Even then, Dante resisted it and had to learn to compromise. It’s only recently he’s come to accept what he really is and what being half-demon truly means.

The twins are heavily influenced by the demonic side of them, their behavior affected in various ways. They both desire to be the dominant presence in any space; Vergil pathologically cannot allow anything less, while Dante can compromise. Dante is more prone to picking petty fights just to see where everyone stands, Vergil places too much value on his dignity and won’t lower himself to anyone’s level (unless it’s Dante). Vergil’s desires are more intensely focused on power and control, which is ironically very human of him, while Dante is an unapologetic hedonist when he allows himself to cut loose. They both pursue their desires with a single-mindedness that clearly isn’t human. Of the two, Dante is arguably the more ‘feral’ as, again, Vergil puts too much value on his dignity and honor.

Both twins are prone to displaying some demonic characteristics when they are particualrly agitated, but Dante is by far the worse of the two. He’s prone to growling when he’s irritated or particularly pleased, maybe even purr, and more likely to flash his teeth and allow his eyes to turn demonic when he’s angry. And of course, he will never let a challenge go un-answered.

Devil Trigger and Powers

For the twins, their demonic forms are part and parcel of who they are. If pressed, Dante might grimace and then try to describe it like a cloak: he just pulls it around his shoulders and over his head and that’s it, he’s suddenly a demon. But it’s still him, no matter what demonic instincts might insert themselves in his behavior. Vergil might disagree and insist the demon form is who they really are, but he has repeatedly proven himself wrong. He does agree on the cloak comparison, though.

The base demonic forms and the Sin Devil Trigger are two different states; the base form is the one they both use the most, as the SinDT requires a lot more power and a considerably agitated mental state to maintain. They both have upper limits to how long they can stay in demon form before they start to feel some side effects, such as lethargy and loss of control. They both have this ingrained belief that they don’t “need” the DT and only use it in a pinch, because they don’t want to depend on it and treat it as a crutch.

The base form makes them taller, bit over 7′ and considerably bulkier, which the SDT doubles down on, being over 8′ tall and really bulky. The SDT is much harder to control, even for Vergil, and they both act much more aggressively while in that state. The base form is retains some human characteristics; namely, they can speak coherently in it and their hands are still able to manipulate things outside of weapons without breaking them.

Anyone even remotely sensitive to the supernatural finds it very hard to be around them, they give off an oppressive amount of demonic power that serves that purpose: to intimidate anything weaker than themselves. They can double down on it at will as a form of intimidation-- or a direct challenge. To any allies with any amount of sensitivity, like Trish or Tess, this is not a pleasant experience.

Though both of them have wings, the twins are almost embarassingly bad fliers. They can hover and fly in straight lines with a considerable amount of speed, but anything requiring even a bit of finesse is rather beyond them. They’re simply too large and their wings too unwieldy for precision flight.

Nero experiences the demonic form a bit differently. His early experience with it felt like an extension of his arm, not quite part of him. Since the Qliphoth crisis though, he now agrees on the cloak comparison but to him the form is still a tool. He doesn’t quite identify with it, yet. He thinks this might be why it took him so long to embrace it fully. He’s the most coherent and clear-headed in DT of the three and though his huge claws make him clumsy regarding anything requiring delicacy, he can compensate with the extra arms. Funny enough, his body size changes the least out of the three. He’s threatened to brain Dante if he ever jokes that Nero is “the runt” of the family ever again.

Ocassionally, the presence of too much infernal power, or overwhelming emotion might cause them to shift partially or completely. This is a problem all three of them have, and Vergil is the one with the finer control. Dante and Nero are too prone to their own emotions.

Sleeping Habits

They’re kind of like lions in a sense; they tend to conserve their energy for when they need it. At least, that’s what Dante would have everyone believe (no, he’s not just lazy, shush). But, sleep is a fair-weather friend to both twins; neither of them sleeps fully through the night, they both prefer to sleep in short bursts whenever they feel safe and comfortable. Dante has the easiest time falling asleep, while Vergil power naps rather than sleeps deeply. Night terrors and nightmares are a common problem for them both, even after all these years. Vergil particularly has it worse, as his trauma is still fresh. Dante often finds himself wide awake, staring at the bottom of a whiskey glass and wishing it would knock him out.

Dante and Vergil are nightowls, whereas Nero is the paradoxical early bird, probably because he gets better sleep than they do and goes to sleep earlier because... well, he’s got three kids. He’s very “up and at ‘em” first thing in the morning. He sort of needs things to do or he gets restless and when Nero gets restless, trouble starts brewing. It’s best to keep him distracted and give him something to do to wear him out just so he can get through the day in peace and then sleep at night.

He’s absolutely not allowed to have energy drinks or caffeine.

Dante tends to sleep in his clothes but ocassionally he’ll go sleep in just his undies when he’s feeling tired and secure enough to do so. He spreads and takes over the bed. Mostly sleeps on his back.

Vergil is the opposite, hates sleeping in his clothes. He’ll go to extreme lengths to ensure he’s safe and undisturbed before he commits to a long, deep sleep, and he likes to wear something comfortable. He tends to sleep curled up, with his back against a wall.

Nero sleeps on his stomach, face almost buried in a pillow if he can. He likes to wear shorts and a T-shirt. Gets hot easily and kicks covers away. 

Socializing

It’s debatable that any of the three know what this even means but Nero is easily the most well-adjusted to society. He might be a menace and the fightiest, most stubborn person in the world, but generally speaking, when people aren’t antagonizing him, he’s the easiest to get along with. He’s actually aware that his attitude and even his appearance can put people off and his time as a soldier of the Order has taught him some discipline. Plus it helps that Kyrie has asked him, very nicely, to be nicer to people. And he generally is, he manages quite well when nobody is aggravating him, so long as he keeps his temper in check... which is easier said than done.

Dante has been out in society the longest, but for the most part, he’s been interacting with the seedy underbelly the most and he does have an attitude problem. He’s kind of blunt, crass and irritating even at the best of times. It started as a coping mechanism but now he’s grown into the mask so much that he has a hard time letting go of it when relating to others. He does have moments where he’ll willingly drop the act, though. He’s not heartless, if he feels someone wants to talk to him seriously he might stay a bit snarky, but he won’t go out of his way to give them a hard time, and he certainly won’t be a dick to someone in distress, as long as they don’t piss him off. Dante being serious is a good sign of two things: Either he’s taking a situation seriously, or he’s actually angry and ready to end you.

Vergil is easily the most maladjusted and unsociable of the three. He’s never liked people but at the same time, he’s never made an effort to. He’s spent too long either thinking almost exclusively in terms of power, or caught in a web of torture, brainwashing and death. Vergil doesn’t exactly dislike people, he’s mostly indifferent but he just can’t trust anybody. Dante may keep people at arm’s length, but Vergil would rather keep them at the end of his sword. He’s too used to responding with violence, verbal or otherwise. The way things are now, though, he’s going to have to learn to live with at least some people. He’ll always be an unsociable bastard but if he hopes to stay sane, he’ll have to let some people in. He’s never going to tire of fighting with Dante and Nero but at least now he can start to talk to them. He’s always going to keep others at a distance, but at least he’s learning to be a bit more civil, so long as nobody provokes him.

Relationship With Each Other

In one word, difficult. At best. They may have come to some sort of understanding, but they don’t necessasirily have reason to be particularly fond of each other. Fighting is, for better or for worse, the most prevalent and natural form of expression for beings like them. They can’t help themselves. Dante and Vergil actively enjoy trying to tear each others’ heads off even after they’ve sort of made peace with each other. Nero is less about the kill and more about the “shut up” and wanting to prove himself.

I don’t believe that Nero, at least, can so easily let go of his anger, either about being attacked in his own home, his safe haven and having his arm ripped off, or the fact that for years Dante lied to him by ommission. He’s salty and will probably stay really salty for a long time. He’s not exactly like them, he’s learned other ways to related to others than fighting and he certainly doesn’t want them anywhere near the people he deems the most precious to him. Not the way they are. He’s sympathetic, but still too angry.

Vergil has much more serious issues to work through, about Dante and Nero. In regards to the latter, he’s yet to stomach that Nero is his son, but this has rather piqued his curiosity about him, though deep down he knows they probably should stay out of each others’ lives for the moment, for each other’s sake. He wants to fight Nero again, to really test him, and test himself against the kid. But he has enough sense to respect that they’ve both been through enough for the time being. He’s much more eager to fight with Dante and as much as he likes their spars... there is a definite tinge of anger. Dante did technically kill him and has been a thorn in his side forever. What Vergil doesn’t really understand is how much their past friction has cost Dante. This is partly Dante’s fault; as much as Vergil thinks he knows him, Dante’s facade has partly succeeded too well. He doesn’t believe Dante regrets anything, and he’s convinced himself that he doesn’t regret anything, either.

But the fact of the matter is, both of them regret a lot of things. Dante is, in fact, a slave to regret and guilt. He blames himself for the start of it all, he blames himself for surviving and for never being able to stop Vergil or pull him out of his spiral, because was spiralling too. And above all, he blames himself for killing Vergil, back on Mallet island. Dante has never made it obvious to others how much that whole thing broke him. He doubled down of his facade since then and he doesn’t care if it made him insufferable, so long as he didn’t show how much that messed him up. He’s lived with that weight since then. He’s glad that Vergil is alive but he’s not allowing himself to savor it. He still wants to fight Vergil, to give him a reason to stay and not go and do something even more stupid. He is hiding from the fact that he’s surprisingly okay with the fact that his brother nearly brought about the end of the world.

In their own broken away, they love each other. Dante is struggling to find ways to help Vergil integrate into society without But Dante is probably the only one of the two with an inkling at how unhealthy their current relationship is. For them and for the people around them.

Physical Affection

This is kind of a weird one for them. So much of their interactions with each other and with others has been dominated by fighting, to the point where they’re all sort of hard-wired for it. Fighting is the Sparda love language, in a twisted kind of sense. It takes conscious effort from them to fall away from it.

Nero has the easiest time, given that he’s not as slave to the demonic instinct as the twins. He’s had time to develop human social skills and he has people he loves enough to be affectionate towards. Nero loves hugs, kisses and cuddling but he saves them almost exclusively for Kyrie and the boys. The boy is down bad and honestly, who can blame him? Kyrie is a delight. He’s usually a bit standoffish with others, but once someone becomes close to him, such as Nico, he’s a lot more expressive. High-fives, fist bumps, excited hugs and friendly nudges are common with Nero. He won’t usually initiate the hugs but if they come at him, he’ll take ‘em. He likes playing and roughousing with the boys and can spend hours absolutely rolling on the floor with them.

Vergil doesn’t like being touched, which is completely understandable, after everything he’s been through. He’s like a feral cat who just wants to be left alone. The majority of his physical contact with others, even his twin, has been violent. It wasn’t always like this, but even as a kid Vergil didn’t really like being touched much, a fact Dante could never really get through his head. But he tolerated it better back then because he still cared about the family he had. Now he’s in no position to accept physical affection, let alone initiate it. Fighting is the closest thing he can handle but deep down, there is a yearning. He misses that physical contact he did get, though he won’t ever admit it to himself. If he ever works through most of his inner demons and Dante were to ever just hug him... Vergil might crack. He would probably reciprocate. But he’s just not prepared to cross that bridge, yet. Right now, even a handshake is a big ask.

Dante is the most comfortable with physical expression, of the three. As a kid he was the most clingy to Eva, and one of the reasons he constantly bugged Vergil was to get some kind of affection from him. As an adult, he can finally read the room if someone isn’t up for it, unless he’s specifically using it as a way to aggravate people. He too is way too used to fighting as a go-to way to be in contact with others, but he’s also learned to just be affectionate without violence, though he still kept others at a bit of a distance. Finding himself in a relationship actually brought out a lot of his older affectionate nature, though he’s still figuring himself out. Once he got comfortable with Tess, touching definitely became a huge part of his love language and he’s delighted that she allows him to do so--even if he invades her personal space often. Grabbing her hand, smooth one-armed hugs and full hugs, getting and giving kisses--up to being something of a ‘bear trap’ should he be allowed to big spoon. He’s only like this with her, to the point where if she mentions it to others, she gets really strange looks from them.

Vergil’s kind of grateful that she is the target of most of his affection at the moment. It means Dante is much less likely to annoy him.

Sexuality, Gender and Orientation

I write all three of them as cis males.

Nero is Kyriesexual and Kyrieromantic. That’s it. He’s a simp. It’s kind of embarrassing, really. But still, who can blame him?

Vergil is probably demi-sexual and demi-romantic and just so incredibly picky and difficult that he may as well be a brick wall. He just detests everyone equally.

Dante likes to pretend he’s an unbothered hedonist who could and would do anyone, but let’s be real, he’s just one giant bisexual or possibly pansexual disaster and a hopeless romantic. He’s a dumbass, above all else. Don’t let him fool you into believing otherwise. And despite what street cred he’d like to have, he’s actually loyal.

It’s a bit of a mystery exactly how he got Tess to like him enough to date him, though.

[memethebum]

I completely forgot to post the next part of this snippet yesterday for day 11: OC/yourself in Soul Eater for @rennikun’s soultember prompts

Wes seems like a fandom OC atp so uh yea thought it’d be fun to add him for the next part

————————————————————————

Maka absolutely hated quiet evenings.

This one seemed to be even worse than the other restless nights she’d endured these past few months, with her eyes catching the slight sway of a black silk dress and a set of frigid violet eyes nestled in the corners of her room.

She was just about to sleep her restlessness away before hearing a slight tap come from the front door, probing her to shuffle out of bed and wonder if Blair had come to annoy her for a bit before going back to her papa’s house.

However, she was met with slick ivory hair instead of bright purple locks of hair once opening the door, probing her breath to hitch.

She felt her lungs inflate again once noticing that the man standing in front of her was Wes Evans rather than her partner, causing her lips to release a confused hum.

“Oh, hi Wes. Why’re you in town?” Maka questioned as she watched the man’s eyebrows furrow in an equal sense of confusion.

“I’m on tour right now and decided to make a quick stop to wish my darling little brother a happy birthday! Is he not in town? I could’ve sworn he sent me a message about his mission in the Philippines finally being over,” Wes replied, probing Maka to shake her head in confusion.

Has that file really been getting to me that much! I completely forgot it Soul’s birthday and- Maka thought before pulling out her phone from her pajama pocket and immediately noticing a set of text notifications from earlier in the day.

-Me n Kid are done here so ig we can celebrate my birthday together 😌 (8:30 a.m.)-

-Never mind. We gotta go help out the Oceania department with something. I’ll see you in a few weeks ok? Don’t miss me too much (12:00 p.m.)-

-Maka????????? HELLO (7:00 p.m.)-