#this anime gives me incredible amounts of serotonin

[head-empty-just-sigma]

hhhhhhmhmmhmmnnnnmmh Buddy Daddies is making me Think Thoughts and Feel Feelings

but i’m not gonna be doing any analyzing of the show or plot itself since 1. i know absolutely nothing about Japanese family/culture/norms/society in general and there’s plenty of amazing posts that talk about that already and 2. the show doesn’t really keep things hidden like a series like bsd does, so there’s not much to theorize about. so i’m not going to go searching for things that don’t exist in the story

however, what i am going to do is over analyze and look for things that probably don’t exist in the songs in the OP and the ED of the anime. yep. my brainrot is that bad

listen episode 7 did something to me okay

i think both songs symbolize Rei and Kazuki in their own ways, especially the OP since i think it encompasses both of them from the first to second verse of the song. the ED is where it really gets interesting, since for now it only really symbolizes one of them

🔺spoiler warning for episodes 1, 3, 6 and 7 and also basically the entire premise of both Kazuki and Rei's characters lol🔻

also long post warning. like, really really long post. i pulled out all the stops in my analyzing for this thing

The opening - SHOCK! by Ayase

fun fact Ayase is the vocaloid producer for the duo YOASOBI

So for this song I’m taking both the translated lyrics provided by Crunchyroll subtitles and the translation on the Miraikyun website I found while digging for reliable translation sources (I found… almost none for this song tbh). But I’ll include screenshots from the OP mostly for the first verse of the song that’s actually used for the opening of the anime.

So at first this song came off as lighthearted to me because the music itself is pretty upbeat and pop-ish, and while yes it is both of those things, the lyrics definitely tell another story of their own. The overarching theme is essentially the contemplation of what love is and what it means, and how the person singing isn’t able to understand love when they see it. They also don’t know what’s going on in another person’s head (who is potentially experiencing said love that the singer doesn’t understand). Immediately this makes me think of Rei’s character, in a couple of ways.

In his character PV it explicitly says that he’s someone who “doesn’t know love”, specifically using the character 愛 (ai) which is used for a more general type of love (could be family or other long-term relationships) and doesn’t necessarily have romantic connotations. This is a perfect example of how Rei, as a person, doesn’t understand the concept of “love” in general. It’s foreign to him, and it’s pretty obvious after episode 3 that he wasn’t raised as a normal child by his parents, he was raised to be a hitman by his father who wanted Rei to only refer to him as his “boss”. I don’t think I need to explain how much that would mess up someone’s perception of love in any sense of the word, and the anime actually does it for us by showing Rei as unfit for taking on a proper parental role in the makeshift family in the first few episodes. Hell, even in the beginning of episode 7 he seemed more like another kid in the house instead of Miri’s caretaker. He’s not used to being responsible for another human being, and it shows, but it’s because he genuinely has no idea about any of it since he doesn’t have any parental figure to base his standard of being a ‘parent’ off of. Kazuki is arguably the same in that regard, but he’s much more mature as a parent compared to Rei because he knows what it’s like to not have any parents or caretakers at all, and he wants to make sure Miri has good parental figures in her life so she doesn’t go through the same thing.

The lyrics in the first half of the song and the lyrics in the chorus can absolutely be used to symbolize Rei’s character here.

Rei does want to be a part of the family here, we solidified that in ep3 when he declared that he was Miri’s Papa. That was a key piece of character development for him, since before this we don’t see them interacting during the episodes as much as Kazuki and Miri do. So the lyrics about ‘wanting love’ is symbolic of him admitting to wanting to be a part of the family. The part about the city being ‘madly in love and excited’ is just how he sees things, since he was taught to never smile or really express any emotions for that matter, so everyone else is automatically more expressive than him. He stays home a lot to play video games nonstop and chain smokes through all-nighters when Kazuki isn’t there, and he also tries to go home before ultimately being dragged outside by Kazuki. The next few lines could symbolize how Miri entering his life turned everything he was used to upside down, and his perception of life is slowly being torn down by Miri as he learns what it means to love and be loved in a parental way. The chorus just further drives in the fact that he truly has no idea what ‘love’ is, literally saying ‘How the heck should I know?’, but also that he doesn’t entirely understand Kazuki and why he’s so adamant on being a good parent. The ‘I don’t know what’s going on in your head’ line is perfectly fitting for ep6 when Rei was questioning a lot of the things coming out of Kazuki’s mouth (same. ‘our genes’ bro what). He’s also dragged through shenanigans time and time again by Kazuki and despite his complaining, he goes along with it anyway. The line about being unfairly friendly could be towards Miri or Kazuki, since sunshine Miri accepted Rei as he is and she loves her Papa no matter how emotionally dead he is, but also because Kazuki is probably the only real friend Rei has (which is something I’m sure will be explored in a future episode. Hopefully). The last one is directed at Miri, since Miri is also able to drag Rei into playing with her and doing other things despite his reluctance (just look at ep3). However, he still very much acts like an irresponsible child and more like Miri's sibling that Kazuki also has to take care of, so he has a long way to go before he's any sort of model parent…

Kazuki on the other hand is 100% symbolized in the second verse of the song.

I will die on this hill because there’s literally no counter argument after ep7, where we are explicitly shown that Kazuki is clinging on to his past to his own detriment. He’s scared of changing because he’s scared of forgetting Yuzuko if he’s fulfilled by something else (his family). He also calls himself pathetic in ep7, connecting the line about laughing ‘at my pitiful self’. This part of the song truly captures how Kazuki feels on the inside for the first 6 episode and the majority of ep7. The chorus could be a bit different in regards to 'it's not fair that you're so friendly', since that could be directed at Karin because she wants Kazuki to be able to move on and be happy with what he has since she believes that that's what Yuzuko would've wanted.

The ending lyrics symbolize that changing and looking towards the unpredictable future is okay, but oh my god did the ending hit like a freight train after episode 7. Just. Just holy emotional damage. Oh. My god.

The ending - My Plan by DURDN

I was able to find a translation that was basically the same as the Crunchyroll one on Genius Lyrics to reference the second verse yipee but I also included screenshots from the ED itself of course

I cannot get over how impactful this song became as the ED, especially at the end of episode 7. It’s basically an entire episode dedicated to Kazuki’s backstory, which we were shown glimpses of back in ep1 for crying out loud. And oh my lord it did not disappoint, that’s for sure. Emotional damage for everyone. So much character development in one single episode. I just--it's just great. That's all I can say.

I love this image and it lives in my head rent free. Sleeping Rei is always 10/10

The song has a theme of accepting the future and that things are going to change, but that it’s okay because there will always be something consistent there, like a home to come back to every day. It also has a lot of references to love, like the 'I softly whisper a lullaby' and 'let's try to share our love together', which is symbolic of Kazuki as a father. It doesn't really have any romantic connotations at all, it's just wholesomeness. Plus 'I chased after you as you ran barefoot' is reminiscent of the few seconds in the OP where we actually see Kazuki running past other people going the opposite direction, and then following behind Miri with Rei at his side.

Also episode 7 really brings out the last 5 lines, from 'and it'll shine down on our sadness' to 'when the future is unpredictable'. That scene where Karin told Kazuki that he should move on and be happy with what he has because that's what Yukuzo would've wanted, and then the rain stops so the sun can come out and shines on Kazuki's new outlook on the future and accepting change... It's so fucking beautiful and symbolic. Not to mention it's taking place where he and Yuzuko first met, where she was his proverbial ray of hope when he was wounded in the rain, now the rain stops and Kazuki is able to see hope in his future with his new family. I just cannot express how impressive that is from a storytelling standpoint, and it's all literally just using the changing of the weather.

Also the line of 'maybe one day, you'll surpass me' could be referencing how Kazuki wants Miri to be able to have the things he never did: a family, stability, and that familial love. Kazuki is painfully self-aware that he became a hitman (and a malewife) because he grew up with no parents and had to fend for himself his whole life. He wants to make sure Miri never has to go through any of that, and have more opportunities that he never did when she gets older.

The ending song doesn't really fit Rei as a character, even in the part not used in the ED. The second verse is still very much relating to Kazuki and Miri's interactions day-to-day and him enjoying raising Miri, and knowing he'll be endeared by everything she does no matter how old she gets (like any other parent, I assume. idk I'm a Rei kinnie). But we know that Miri is changing Rei slowly, from ep3 when he begins to see what being a Papa means to ep7 when he learns that sometimes taking care of another human being can make you feel powerless in the face of a 'crisis'. Most other times we only really see him being a real parent to Miri when he's dragged into it by Kazuki, but ep7 showed him going from irresponsible second child of the household to going to Kyu-chan in a panic because Miri is sick and he has no idea what to do as a parent. Hopefully we get to see this built upon further in the coming episodes, even if we don't get to explore his backstory as much as we have Kazuki's this season.

[voidoffline]

I love how when animating the smallest amount of progress can just give so much serotonin. Like I drew the sketch for a single scene, it took several hours, but the progress makes me incredibly happy

[appliedpsychedelics]

Applied Psychedelics and Psychonautics - Ian, December 12-25 2023

Applied Psychedelics and Psychonautics - Ian, December 12-25 2023

I noticed, while I was high off mushrooms, I entered an altered state of consciousness known as flow state, which is characterized by a sense of time distortion and overall sense of happiness. These things, I realized I was experiencing them because this mushroom was making my mind perform at its peak, and I felt truly alive and fully attentive to my work, deriving great joy in such wonderful subjects as Electromagnetic Energy… truly my schoolwork didn’t feel much like work, but rather an exploration of the world, and I found myself very happy with a positive mental picture of myself as a scholar and explorer: I would explore my chosen subject matter, up close, and gain real experience and knowledge of it, all while taking good notes of it.

Sometimes, I found that it was like I could be a sort of, scholarly conqueror 

And I began to relish in this image of myself and this mushroom forming a kind of mutually beneficial relationship, and then in the dream of showing the world what psychedelic mushrooms can really do to improve people's lives

Today even, one in 10 Americans aged 12 and older is on SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors, used for depression or anxiety), and actually, SSRIs are incredibly easy to access, at least for me it was. I’ve had my own encounters with Big Pharma and Big Psych, notably I took Prozac for a short period of time due to a bout of “depression”. 

The main difference between SSRIs and psychedelic mushrooms is that SSRIs are just escapism: you’re zombifying yourself to cope with your feelings. When I was on Prozac, I had such a major disconnect from reality, I always felt so distant and was looking at myself from outside my own body, I realized that the excess serotonin from the drug was causing derealization. 

The issue with medical professionals in this field is that they genuinely believe the issue in a depressed person is something like their amount of serotonin. 

The truth is, the issue is that a depressed person is caught in a negative loop/cycle of their own bad thoughts and actions: they need to have a “breakthrough” thought, a kind of, “Eureka!” lightbulb moment. I am like, 99 percent sure that the big public backlash against using mushrooms, weed, cacti, and other LITERAL PLANTS to self medicate comes from Big Pharma wanting more people to go to them to get POISONED by SSRIs, which are literally demonic (I'll explain how evil Big Psych and Pharma can be in another post, I haven't got enough time to document all that evil in this first post…)

        What I’ve found is that mushrooms grind on your ego and humble you, they help you REALIZE things that are helpful and make you break out of harmful cycles. 

 ��όγος you open your mind to new ideas, and λόγος will show you images and give you voices, it will suggest things to your mind that help produce these breakthroughs. , in case you were unaware, is Greek (“logos”), meaning “logic” or “reason”, and it is the name which Terence McKenna and many popular psychonauts have used to refer to the living entity which you can feel in the mushrooms. Many people who take mushrooms get the feeling that something is alive in there… and it wants to talk to you. That mushrooms are animate, and trying to communicate. This is something I believe 100 percent. 

         For example, Albert Hoffman, the guy who synthesized LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide) and isolated + named + synthesized psilocybin and psilocin (the psychedelic part of shrooms, which I hope to discuss more in depth later on), told Terence McKenna once that the reason he preferred LSD to shrooms was because he felt that shrooms were animate, that there was something alive inside them. 

I would like to try and communicate with this entity. I believe it is a force for good… some of the things it has revealed to me have been like, crazy spiritually enlightening. I feel much better overall since I've taken them, mentally and emotionally. There is a kind of harmony there. 

Terence McKenna, who I mentioned before (RIP McKenna, he died in 2000, respect) is well known for advocating the positives of using mushrooms (responsibly), kinda like I'm doing now. 

I will probably make a post dedicated to him.

I’m convinced that there’s some real potential in using magic mushrooms to help treat the symptoms of and maybe even cure conditions such as depression:

Every trip I go on, I find that I am able to make “breakthroughs” in my cycles of thinking, which enable me to learn about myself and explore ways to make myself a better person, ways to function on a higher level.

In fact, this post right here might as well be a testament to the way mushrooms can influence the way people think: I was so inspired that I decided to study this, for fun, and I’ve taken it upon myself as a kind of hobby, although I do admit that I do not yet have enough knowledge and experience to call myself a psychonaut just yet, I do hope to get there someday.

In case you didn’t know, a psychonaut is   to some extent, I suppose while partaking in Psilocybin/Psilocin mushrooms, An altered state of consciousness in which the mind functions at its peak, time may seem distorted, and a sense of happiness prevails. In such a state the individual feels truly alive and fully attentive to what is being done.

I saw all sorts of repeating patterns, shapes, colors, it truly was amazing and I was convinced that each symbol I saw held some sort of deeper meaning, at least in my own heart, but it is only through the exploration of my own heart that I begin to understand the rest of the world: certain things will strike chords in you. 

The only thing I have noticed about mushrooms that is negative is that they negatively impact my memory and often while high off them, I find myself disoriented, confused. I got lost in my own school that I've gone to for 3 years while on shrooms. I couldn't tell if I was upstairs or downstairs. I kept forgetting where I was supposed to be, forgetting lots of things… overall, I think we should try to make sure mushrooms don't impact memory negatively on a longer time frame (ex. Causing Alzheimer's or dementia) 

I am, however, not worried enough about this to stop using mushrooms or to stop championing them as a potential solution to mental/emotional/spiritual health problems 

I feel like from the small amount of times I've consumed shrooms, I always walk away from my trip with new knowledge and a sense of inner ☮️. Because of how profoundly this has affected me, I do think it's worth temporary memory loss and confusion, which can be made so that it does not actually fuck with ur life (I'll be making a post later on the responsible use of shrooms)

Other than that note on memory, I have noticed 0 negatives from shrooms. They're literal mushrooms! You aren't even putting smoke in your lungs, you're literally eating a pizza topping or salad ingredient. 

As a Christian it is my belief that there's nothing wrong with the responsible use of these mushrooms. It's a fungi! It's God's creation, same as any other regular Portobello mushroom. Just be aware that some people believe that 

 λόγος is a demonic entity or a malicious influence. 

I do not believe that myself, 

 λόγος is to me like a wise old man

And there's definitely other stuff out there besides angels and demons, so maybe it's one of those other things! 

I'm just warning y'all, it's a risk! It's a spiritual, pyschological, emotional risk to put faith in λόγος, 

But I seriously vouch for its positive impacts. I'm doing this research and taking this risk because I truly believe this is part of the future. 

Overall, I believe in the potential of nature. We should be utilizing the resources provided to us by God :3 

So this is my intro post! Soon I'll be posting: 

How to find/identify shrooms/where to find them 

How to grow shrooms 

The horrors of big pharma/pysch

Horrors of the war on drugs 

Guide for responsible mushroom use 

The historical use of pyschadelic mushrooms 

Terence McKenna and maybe other people like him 

MY OWN PERSONAL TRIP REPORTS !! 

MORE INFO ON λόγος

Enjoy my tumblr :3 

[mikaze-discord]

Love letter project ♡

Sooo to celebrate the 4th anniversary of Shining live, I put together a project! I basically got a bunch of people to write a love letter for their favourite boy. Things like, why they like them, how they got to like them and what they like about them were all accepted!

The event was supposed to have 2 fans for each boy but unfortunately I was unable to get two for some of the boys. 

Under the cut will be the love letters for all of Class A!!! Please enjoy~ And thank you for all the people who participated in the event and taking the time to write the love letters out. 

CLASS A

OTOYA ITTOKI

From @ponzu-penzui:

Hello world! My nickname is Yuki, and I’m here to tell you about the sunshine boy that is Otoya Ittoki. The redhead of the series, Otoya is your seemingly a-typical sunshine in a mascot boy character. But, as we all know with these types, the sunshine isn’t as, well, sunshine as they seem. Or, if you didn’t know, well… spoiler alert I guess. Go watch the anime, or play the otome games, then come back here. Anyways, let’s get started on our journey, shall we? Through the rabbithole that got me here in the first place!

Otoya immediately became my best boy the second I saw him. I’m not quite sure what immediately got me at first, whether it be his red hair and eyes, his voice, or his immediate friendliness, but here we are. I should also mention that UtaPri was my first idol anime, so I was completely unaware what was going to hit me later. And, if you’ve watched the entire anime, you know where I’m going.

Season 4 was an emotional wreck. I cried at least twice. Did I have a newfound appreciation for Otoya after all that heartache? Definitely. Without spoilers, it was incredibly painful for me to watch, but I don’t regret it.

After watching the anime, I soon found out about the existence of Shining Live. So, with no other UtaPri content to binge, I started to play SL in late 2018. After playing for a little more than a year, I tiered in my first Otoya event (Heartwarming Snow Festival), and achieved my first top 200. Ever since then, I’ve tiered in every Otoya event, getting top 200, then top 100.

But, why do I like Otoya Ittoki even to this day? Well, I guess this is the time where I say that, after a certain point, I started to see bits of myself in Otoya. This led me to start to RP him, and, as you probably know if you’ve ever roleplayed a character before, I started to look at the miniscule amount of translated game content (many thanks to the Ohayaho Translation Team) for, well, more content. And content I did receive. Long story short, this only served to solidify Otoya as my favorite boy of not only UtaPri, but from all anime/manga/game content I’ve ever seen/watched. His cheerfulness may have been the first thing that got me in this rabbithole, but his backstory and how he managed to grow up pulled me in even further. And, I don’t think I will or want to get out anytime soon.

Next one from; Anon

As much as we all know our Otoya for how sweet and kind he is, there is so much more to him than just a precious smile. He is uplifting, cheerful towards everyone he meets. He has empathy and goes out of his way to make sure his friends are happy. Even so, Otoya has feelings that aren’t always happiness and smiles. He can feel sad and angry just like anyone else.

The reason I care and love Otoya so much is because he has shown me that I don’t have to always put on a smile. It’s nice to show off your pearly whites, but sometimes, it’s okay to be sad too. There are times in everyone’s life when they feel out of place and that they don’t belong. Otoya also felt this way and that’s perfectly okay. He’s still being the best idol he can be: The idol that Otoya loves the most.

MASATO HIJIRIKAWA

From Anon: 

Masato Hijirikawa. Why do I like Masato Hijirikawa? I like him to the point that it feels weird for me to even question why I do. He's just- a good boy. A great boy. I love him. As a joke, I'd usually say that it was his weirdly pretty, bowl-cut hairstyle that drew me to him, or I'd say that he caught my interest when I read that he was "very good with his hands" (wink wonk) in his Shining Live description, and while both of these reasons are still true, it wasn't until I started role playing him in an old server that I really started to appreciate his character more.

Masato, despite his aloof and almost "perfect" initial image, is a very relatable character. When he first arrived at Saotome (in-game) he wasn't necessarily seen as someone with a lot of talent to become an idol, which he acknowledged with grace and worked hard to make up for. He's humble despite his privileged upbringing and is incredibly self-aware of his flaws, which are sources of insecurity for him sometimes (a lot of times). Though it should be said that most of this insecurity stems from not having a lot of control over his early life, which is why it felt so gratifying to see him break free of his metaphorical chains to pursue his happiness without any doubts. He's a hard worker and is willing to accept criticism with open arms, not only for himself but for the people around him. Despite his traditional upbringing and nature, he's very receptive to change as long as it benefits both him and STARISH. He values the people he cares about more than anything, which is why he constantly strives to be a better version of himself every day, not only for himself but for the people around him.

Though his stoicism sometimes makes him seem plain or even "boring" to some people, he hides a warm, hidden passion within that's just as bright as everyone else's. Like the springtime bloom of cherry blossoms after winter, Masato shows his passion and love with no restraint to anyone who takes the time to understand him, and I can very much attest to this. I love him a lot and I hope to see more content of him, STARISH, and the others for more years to come.

NATSUKI SHINOMIYA

From uh....me:

HELLO I’m Z~ also known as the mod of the mikaze-discord/utapri-hcs tumblrs, as well as the organiser for the event! But enough about myself, let's talk about Natsuki Shinomiya.

When I first watched the anime as a youngin, I had already known about the games and their plots but had decided to try out the anime as well since I had nothing better to do.

Natsuki was actually one of my least favourite characters in the anime just because of how they presented him. I just...didn't care for him at all. He was just some random tall guy who loved hugs and almost murder…. Yeah.

I’m sure like most, I had a changing point. Originally, I was a Tokiya rper but...I was just unhappy with how my Tokiya was, I wasn't as experienced in rping with that server being my first rp server i was ever in. I didn't feel like I matched up with the others. I felt my Tokiya was just lacking something, substance maybe. Another person actually had a similar feeling and had changed their character from Camus to Syo and since we already had an Ai, I had just decided to go with the flow and complete the rest of the cute team. Best decision of my life. I’m so grateful for Natsuki and everything I associate him with. Without him, I probably wouldn't have made my tumblrs, I wouldn't have stayed in that server, I wouldn't have gone looking for other servers to rp in. I don't think I would be the same without Natsuki. I just find him so endearing now, he is just a lovable giant who happens to be able to be a disney princess. He is just so darn cute damn it. , just look at his Christmas card, his King card, quite literally just half his Shining live URs. Also, just like his songs just slap. Natsuki to me, is just serotonin. He gave me so many opportunities that I could have missed. I don't even think I would have started this love letter project without him if I’m being completely honest. I genuinely enjoyed all the memories I made as Natsuki. Thank you to Natsuki and to the Mikaze-discord for basically starting me off.

From Luke:

Natsuki was actually the very first character I encountered before I got into utapri. A friend showed a photo of him and told me that I'd probably be into this guy. She sure was right! After installing shining live for the first time and having a familiar face on the screen, I grew curious of him each day and just had to find out why was so attracted to him. The fact that I've seen him so many times in the past was haunting me, telling me that this man actually watched me grow up from a distance without even knowing his name. It sounds weird but I find it rather comforting for someone who doesn't want to be protected but isn't strong enough to defend myself alone.

The thought of having him there was enough to get me through the day and gave me enough reason to wake up to the next. I admit I may have adapted some of his habits after looking after his account for a year but that isn't a bad thing if it means that it would turn me into a much better person than I am now. I guess you could say we've grown together now in a sense, preserving the feelings and just living through the moment no matter how happy or sad it is. What's important is that we're not alone in all things we do and in everything we feel, there will always be someone there to keep us moving when we feel like giving up.

[partyrockin]

after 3 years off tumblr im tryna find new artists to follow and duuuude your art is so cool im living for it!!

i see you're reading hs2, do you recommend it? (im in the process of re-reading hs...)

(also any other artists recs??)

Aww thank you so much!! Welcome back to Tumblr :3c

I was reading HS2 for a while, but honestly? I couldn’t in good faith recommend it to you, especially if you deeply value the characters and themes from Homestuck proper. Everybody has their own individual taste and connection to these characters, but with the way that the narrative of HS2 has been gradually declining in quality... it’s kinda left a bad taste in my mouth. idk, if you want to continue to find enjoyment in HS and its fanbase, I would strongly suggest not engaging with HS2.

That being said, there are a plethora of fanworks and artists that i can recommend to you! I don’t know if many of them are very active on their Tumblr blogs, so I’ll also list their Twitter profiles since this is where most of these artists are most active:

- @disteal / @distealart on twitter:

Has made an insane amount of QUALITY Homestuck art and comics. Your eyes will thank you.

- @hootpoop12 / @hootpoop12 on twitter:

Makes high-quality Homestuck comics (and shitposts). Ideal if you want a good laugh!

- @karketamine / @nyquillionaire on twitter:

Made a series of dynamic Homestuck drawings and incredible music for HS fanworks too! Scientifically proven to give you a healthy dose of serotonin every time you listen to it.

Is currently working on an album project called ‘Sarah and The Blood Witch,’ which you can find on Bandcamp.

- @vintage-foods / @vintagefoods_ on twitter:

Specializes in delivering amazing Homestuck illustrations and character designs.

Has made official Homestuck sprite art and has contributed art to a few Homestuck^2 updates.

- @spicylizard1 / @muthahomestucka on twitter:

A COMICAL GENIUS! Has made a crazy amount of Homestuck comics, illustrations, and fanfiction. You can find links to these on his website, along with his original works.

Is currently working on a webcomic called ‘Godhead’, along with @karketamine and a couple other contributors. It’s a thought-provoking and insightful narrative while never straying from @spicylizard1‘s iconic comedic style. 

- @cometjynx / @cometjynx on twitter:

Here to fulfill all of your soft Davekat needs!

Is currently working on their own Choose Your Own Adventure webcomic called ‘Lumistar’. It’s still in its beginning stages, but it shows a lot of promise!

- @rahafwabas / @raharWabas on twitter:

Makes fun, dynamic Homestuck comics. If you’re into Davekat, they’ll make your heart SOAR.

- @tea-n-pens / @TeaNPens on twitter:

Is well-known for their geometric, adaptable art style. They’ve got you covered if you’re into Dirkjake!

- @frankenflora / @FrankenFlora on twitter:

You want cute Davekat art? They’ve got it! You want Davekat shitposts? They’ve also got it.

- @hipdadz / @hipdadz on twitter:

Master of destroying my heart with his use of colour and composition. Has a ton of lyricstucks under his belt, and he WILL make you cry. 

- @tomatograter / @tomatograter on twitter: 

His art is literally so pretty. Will never fail to deliver on good quality sadstuck and meta-analysis. 

Is currently working on a Jake-centric fanfic called ‘Don Juan Manlet King’. It’s updating soon and it’s just... so good...

- @spidgey / @spidgeyart on twitter:

Professional artist and animators who’s come to share their insane skills with the Homestuck community. Do we even deserve them??

- @wickedgoogly / @wicked_googly on twitter:

Is currently working on a June-centric fanventure called ‘Failure to Launch’. It’s beautifully written and the art style is *chef’s kiss*.

- @sarcasmprodigy / @SarcasmProdigy on twitter:

I’d honestly be surprised if you found me before you found @sarcasmprodigy. Their art is so fun and they continue to be really active with the community. 

- @floralmarsupial / @floralmarsupial on twitter:

Has blessed the Homestuck fandom with her comics and lyricstucks. Have you SEEN their ‘The Best of Times’ lyricstuck???

She is currently working on a Homestuck comic series called ‘Liminal Space,’ for all of your Jade Harley needs.  

- @marinaraimpasta / @marinaraimpasta on twitter:

Professional artist and animator who DELIVERS on their Meenkri art. 

Is now working on a fanventure comic called ‘HybridRule,’ featuring a lively cast of original trolls living in an entirely new and interesting world. I can’t say much about it yet, but it’s still updating!

- @indigonite / @indigonite0 on twitter:

Yet another artist who delivers on their high-quality Homestuck illustrations and comics!

- @whichoftime / @whichoftime on twitter:

Single-handedly carries the Aradia fandom. Has some of the best character designs I ever did see. 

- @yoitscro / @yoitscro on twitter:

Involved in and directs so many Homestuck projects, zines, animations, podcasts etc. that I literally couldn’t list them all. It wouldn’t be that much of a stretch to say that they are one of the reasons the Homestuck fandom is as active as it is now. You’ll just have to take my word for it. 

- @koa_doodles on twitter:

Their art style is so soft and their comics? Hilarious.

- @tmblrusrgmz on twitter:

Yet another reason the fandom is so active. Is currently working on the now UNdiscontinued Act 8 fanventure!

- @PanDaePan on twitter:

Is possibly one of the most active artists in the Homestuck community right now. I find myself deeply inspired by their art.

- @protagonist_of on twitter:

Has easily one of my favourite styles in the fandom. Their comics have a unique, Hussie-esque humour, and they’re really fun to engage with. 

- @SK_intheballs on twitter:

Currently works on ‘Karkat Goes To A Convention,’ easily one of my favourite fanventures to date. 

[yioh]

2020 follow forever :^)

hello it is, but i, ur local frog, yura, i really realllllllllyyyyyyyyyyy wanted to make some kind of post to appreciate everyone on here because , fr, you guys have been such a large part of my life recently and i can not thank you enough... every single person i have interacted with on here has been so wonderful and it’s been such a pleasure to talk with you guys<3

also extremely extremely extremely sorry if i forget anyone, i really really do love every single person i interact with!! this is my first time doing something like this also this is probably filled with typos but im too impatient and lazy to read what i wrote, im so sorry if its weird or something aaaaaaaaaaaa jhdsgjhd

without further ado lets goooooo losers😎

@honeyedmilks sof u are one of the softest people i know, we didn’t get to talk that much this year but i love ur presence in general and it makes me :D when u pop up on my dash/notes hehe, i can’t express just how much i adore ur writing, the vibes and settings and the way u write in general is so my thing and !!!!!!!! <3 

@asianmelodrama faizaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa u are mine and a lot of other people’s sunshine on this hellsite !!!! ur blog is so feel good and pretty and relaxing and i love all ur thoughts and ur gifs are soooooooooo pretty and ur so cool !!!!!!!! thank u for being so kind and creative and wonderful and for creating a place so safe and lovely i love u i love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

@muscosus robin robin robin robin ILUSM !!!!!!! ur so fun to talk to and i find it so amusing that we met each other via druck but then consequently found all our interests colliding and we were literally *shook pikachu* kdhigjdghkjf also whenever u tag me in whale stuff it warms my heart so much and i treasure our friendship so so much !!!

@lesbiangoths OLIVIA why are u so adorable :( everytime u send me an ask im :) ur so creative and talented and ur crocheting stuff looks so COOL !!!!! also ur vibe is just immaculate in general and talking with u is so easy, never change ilu bro

@illiterateopossum ELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ur DEFINATELY one of the people on here that are MOST special to me, all our conversations are so freaking fun and man, u just get me .... and watching u get into all the dramas and anime i reccomend ??? it makes my heart doki doki hiagsjhjh thank u for always looking out for me and sending me the most loveliest messages, im really really bad with words and i am SHITE with keeping up with messaging but i seriously treasure our friendship so so much, i only hope for good things to happen to you next year and all the years after that, you’re such a kind wonderful person and !!!!!!!!!!!! i love u sm :(

@beesnutz KJDFKHIJFHKD GUSTE i wanna be emotional this one time and tell u that ur seriously such a fun person and the way my brain goes on overdrive from creativity when i talk to you is . insane. i want to bonk ur head with as much cereal as i can, never forget that you will always be the dumb sidekick to me, the superior villain and i WILL lead the way to world domination one day. sometimes i feel like u aren’t even real, you could be an anime character and i wouldn’t even bat an eyelash . ilu <3

@rosa-leche kana kana KANA :^) how are u so ???? sweet ???? adorable ???? wonderful ????? i already had so much fun interacting with you, all ur thoughts and messages are always so sweet and u make me smile SO much, and after the secret santa i feel like we have so much in common !!!!!!!!! do tell me if u ever watch bloom into you hehe, keep being the angel u are, ilusm !

@petekaos RAHUL !!!!!!!!!!!!! meeting u this summer feels like so long ago somehow, you sir!!! are one TALENTED person . it really really amazes me with how much passion you get into things and how much love and adoration you put into the things you create, its so so special .... anytime i see u vibing on my dash it fills me with so much joy, keep doing u bro !!!!

@toptaps zeeeeeeeeeeey you are so lovely :) you’re so gentle and soft and i adore talking with u about nanamin, also u are so cool and i was rly rly happy when u followed me lol, lowkey i admired u from afar jdhjkhdijd i love uuuuuuu

@fushiguroo MY LIL OREO CUTIE PATOOTIE oFC i still remember the first ask u sent me, i was so taken aback and honoured :( and the more and more i talked with you and saw you on my dash i was so happy, you have such good taste and you’re so so cute, take care of urself and stay the precious bean u are ok? 

@morksuns sumaya sumaya sumayaaaaaaaaaaaa everytime you interact with me im :D i love all our little convos and ur vibe in general is so peaceful and relaxing, im glad i got to meet you:’) here’s to another year and many more after that, that are filled with only good dramas !!!

@gayvlad NICO (nico niiiiiiiiiiiiii ) YOU DESERVE THE W O R L D. i dont know why but as soon as i had like one convo with u that one time i thought u were such a chill cool person :( im so happy that i get to be friends with you, all ur gifs are so pretty !!!!!!!! ur such a kind person and ur blog is such a warm nice place to be. :) 

@cupidhashorns   peach ........... PEACH !!!!!!!!!! you might be one of the nicest people in the WORLD , whenever u like my posts, regardless of whether u know what im on about lmao, i feel so seen... its just so nice to know that Someone i listening to the shit you throw into the void on this site lmao, i adore all ur asks and i truly truly appreicate all your messages so much. thank you for finding my blog interesting at all man, i cant tell you enough how happy you make me :)

@guihan arloooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY CAT FRIEND . THE AMOUNT OF SEROTONIN YOU HAVE GIVEN ME IS IMMEASURABLE your cats ................... are so cute .............. !!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so glad i got into tsomd and got to meet you , whenever u tag me in things im !!!!!!!!! also im defo gonna read  twwtadsl sometime ksdjkdhjksd you make it sound so good aaaaaaaaaaaaa

@otterplush rey many people have probably already told you this but you are someone so ...... so spectacular and special and incredible and amazing ............  so much of your words has given me SO MUCH comfort in the short time i had known you, seriously. i seem to always stumble on your blog whenever im most hurt and your words have really had an impact on me in the best way possible and i love u so so so so much. i only wish for good things to happen for you and i want to be there for you in a way you are for everyone else !!! you are so warm and kind an generous, everything about your vibe feels so soft... also i always wanna rb everything you rb ndjbshs ur blog is so pretty :( 

@aheartandashirt nisaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA MY KSH THIRST BUDDY KDHJKHDKJHDF fr ive had some of the BEST convos with you, ur taste in dramas is !!!!!!!!!!immaculate !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its so so so  fun talking with you and everything you gif looks so nice !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you for being such a lovely friend to me, you’re so easy to talk with and so friendly and nice and <3 *pat pat pat* 

@tetsuos dawn dawn !!!! you are !!!!!!!!!! such a talented person !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love ur little corner on the web, its so nice to read all ur thoughts about the dramas you’re watching, all your thoughts are so well thought out and interesting to read and, in general, i adore seeing you do ur thing :) *hug hug * 

@heartsofsunlight angel ! your drawings are so beautiful !! you are such a beautiful person in general ! whenever u drop by it makes me so happy, its been so lovely getting to know you, thank you so much for talking to me :) i love uuuuuuu

@metawin jay jay jay !!!!!!!!!!!! for some reason whenever i see u im overcome with so much love !!! everything you make is so beautiful and u are defo one of the most elite people here hehe, also ur cats are ........ so adorable ............ 

@metawwin aliiiiiiiiiiiii, its been such a pleasure seeing you on here !! ur so soooooo kind and whenever u sent me those adorable asks it made me so happy, you’re like a little happiness fairy, you eminate so much joy and positivity !! also ur singing ... immaculate 

@87s min min !!!! u are soooooooooooo adorable, i think ive said this before but u seriously give me little sibling vibes lol, its so fun talking to you, and im so happy that you first popped up to me !!!!!!!!!!! iluuuuuuuu

@joblessquinoa JQ :^)    i always associate you with my engineer haha, and that was so long ago !!!!! ur so fun to talk to, and i adore seeing u rb and leave ur thoughts on all the manga and webtoons im reading !!!! in fact whenever u like my posts i aways feel so happy hehe, also . i literally wouldve failed my coding course without u thank u SO much for helping me out * cries* 

@gigiesarocha cata CATA CATA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  when you first popped up i was so elated to talk to you, u seemed so nice:( and later when u told me u watched joan’s galaxy because of me i was sdhfsgijdfhjkdhjkfh all ur gifs are so unbelieveably gorgeous, i literally go back to the set u made of yioh staring at joan skipping all the time, its so ........ beautiful.......... hopefully we get more wlw content next year and hopefully theyre all as good as joan’s galaxy hehe, iluuuuuuuuuu

@yibobibo aamna my love !!!!!!! how are you so precious ? everytime u reblog any of my posts its an instant serotonin boost, the experience of getting back into mdzs along with u was seriously incomparable, it was so FUN and i wanna go back :( ur such a friendly wonderful and talented person and i adore seeing all ur creativity blossom on this website, ilu aamna !

@brightwin JELLY jelly u are literally the human embodiment of the softest teddy bear in the WORLD . i wanna give u all the hugs and pats i can because u make me so !!!!!!!!! happy and u fill me with so much soft warmth ........... thank u for being u, all ur gifs are so pretty and its been so nice to be able to bask in the light that comes off of u, never change i love u so sooooooooooo much <3

and lastly, some blogs that i really really adore !

@kurusutakatsu @chanagun @yuhaosturtle @jiangyanlisgf @duoerla @yinyu @tichawongtipkanon @jbums @wenqing @lemongrasslesbian @weiixian @schech @kikuism @earthfluuke @0ffgun @yamaguccchi @wullu @seniorwitch @leoyunxi @floraflorenzi @dreamterlude @florbexter @doctorbahnjit

[helbramstrauma]

Top 10 Comfort Animes

This ranking is built on how much serotonin the show gives me, not based on how well the storyline, animation, and characters exclusively although this may influence the ranking it is not as important as in my other rankings

10. Hunter x Hunter

Specifically the Hunter Exam and Greed Island Arcs as this show can be quite dark at times and will make you cry. But if I need a pick me up you can always watch one of those two arcs and you will feel better.

9. Kakegurui

This is definitely more unique to me, simply because not everyone is at peace when watching people gamble, personally I enjoy watching the games and the punishments but that could easily make people not feel comforted but if you're into that kind of stuff you can turn your brain off and just enjoy.

8. Assassination Classroom

Just the first season, the second one is devastating. However the first season is so enjoyable and makes me laugh so much, plus seeing kurosensei be an amazing teacher and influence is a huge plus and it makes me feel loved.

7. Soul Eater

Something about watching a bunch of mentally ill teenagers save the world is amusing and comforting to me. The comic relief is amazing plus it reminds me of Halloween which is my favorite holiday.

6. Yuri on Ice

Gay Ice Skating shenanigans makes me happy. Who doesn't want an angry russian cat boy? Who doesn't want to feel the triumph of Yuri and Viktor. Also it's gay which is relatable.

5. Devil is a Part-Timer

The devil works at copyright safe McDonalds which brings me joy. I love it! It does get serious at times but it always comes back to humor and slice of life. Very much serotonin indeed.

4. Ouran Highschool Host Club

J Michael Tatum is in it, so that is a dopamine producers. Also the absurd plot is humorous and it is pretty funny and the characters are loveable so you can almost forgive the twincest.

3. The Royal Tutor

Another anime about spoiled children doing normal things but this one is more heartfelt and it still has J Michael Tatum. This show is super funny and you get really invested. It is great to just turn off your brain ignore reality and binge.

2. Haikyu

I'm not into volleyball but I will scream and cheer for this show. So much happiness so much love. Also look at Kenma being adorable!

1. Sk8 the Infinity

I will listen to this opening on loop for a concerning amount of time. This show is incredible I love it so much. It provides me more serotonin than my antidepressants. The beach episode is brilliant. I love it!!

[script-nef]

Fluff alphabets | Hinata Shouyou

Others: Kageyama, Oikawa,  Tsukishima

Category: fluff

Affection: How affectionate is he? How does he show affection?

Hinata constantly wants to be holding you in any way available to him. He shows his love for you through countless kisses, hugs, texts, phone calls—just about anything.

He’s not afraid to proclaim his affection for you on live TV or in interviews but that subsequently means a lot of articles are written about you. Every single one of them is about how much of a doting and loving boyfriend is.

Baby: Does he want to start a family?

Yes.

Children between you and him? Of course he wants them! He’ll wish for them to be carbon copies of you because you’re the best person he knows and by his logic, that means his children will also be the best!

Thanks to his experience with Natsu, he’s skilled in taking care of babies and showers them in endless love. Would spend all of his spare time with you and the kids and every other parent will be envious of you.

Cuddles: Does he like cuddling? How often does he like hugging?

Hinata leaps at any chance to be around you.

He’ll use the most trivial excuse or reason to hug you: you look down, I’m hungry, your hair was flying around and you looked pretty, I wanted to check if your shampoo changed and whatnot.

You pointed out that since you’re going out with him, he doesn’t really need an excuse you cuddle with you. That made a lightbulb spark and now he just attacks you with surprise hugs whenever he wants.

Date: What is a typical date?

Exploring hidden corners of the city. This boy cannot sit still and requires physical activities or he’s going to go insane with the amount of energy that stockpiles.

He would scour them online or get some recommendations from friends when visiting their cities, or even his fans in the form of comments. It would mainly be cafés/restaurants or trinket shops so he can buy you loads of presents.

Experience: How much has he dated before? How does that reflect in this one?

He was an adult when he met you and he went out once or twice before, but it didn’t go for very long. This relationship with you is the longest yet!

He learnt bits and pieces from his previous relationships like how to treat your significant other and what not to do when dating, but it’s mostly useless since he’s somehow very intuitive in this area.

Fight: Do you fight often with him? How does it usually end?

Fights are incredibly rare, nearly none each year. The fact that you’re both so understanding and kind plays a factor. 

He also hates fighting with you because he believes every moment with the person he loves needs to be happy, even though that’s unrealistic.

He’s incredibly stubborn and will argue with you if he thinks he’s right. The fight can drag out for days but you eventually reconcile through talking and spend the rest of the day cuddling.

Gentle: How does he treat you?

Hinata isn’t gentle, despite popular beliefs. He’s driven by his emotions way too much and won’t realise when he’s putting physical pressure on you. Of course, he’ll back off once you say it.

Once he realises you’ve been saying that a lot, he’ll try to restrain himself but it doesn’t work. The second he sees you it’s just “!!!! [Name]!!!” and all control is chucked out the window.

Hand: Does he like holding your hand? How often?

When walking down the street or relaxing in the house, his hand is always glued onto yours. He uses it to tug and maneuver you around crowds and streets to arrive at your destination quickly.

Sometimes he draws little characters or writes with his thumb on your hand and asks what he wrote. It’s always things like simplified versions of your favourite anime characters or “I love you”

Impression: What was your first impression of him?

“Who is this absolute sunshine and how can I love him?”

Hinata tried to help you find your way after you were lost but he’s directionally challenged as well so… In conclusion, you spent around an hour walking aimlessly around the town. In that time, you somehow fell for him and asked for his phone number first. 

Even though it was obvious that he was as lost as you, he did his best to calm you down and led the way with unearned confidence which stole your heart.

Jealousy: Does he get jealous easily? What sets him off?

This boy cannot feel jealousy. At least in the romance area.

His heart is too wide and pure for any ugly emotions to rear their head in. If someone is constantly around you he’ll think “[Name] is so popular! I’m so happy everyone knows how cool they are!” and that’s it.

He’ll get kind of pouty if you say Kageyama is cool in front of him though. Hinata knows Kags is incomparable in volleyball skills so it’ll set his competitive fire even stronger.

Kiss: Is he good at kissing? When does he kiss you?

He likes innocent pecks all over your face whenever the mood strikes him. He doesn’t kiss deeper than that voluntarily. Sure, he’ll do it once you say it but not by himself.

He presses longer ones to your lips when he’s absolutely elated and cannot express his emotions in any other way. 

Love: Who said “I love you” first? And when does he say it?

Hinata said it first with such ease and energy. Like it was something obvious and common.

It was as he was leaving for his morning jog and you called after him to take a jacket. He kissed you on your forehead and yelled “I love you!” as he was slipping out of the door. It left you dumbstruck and frozen from your spot until you melted with a blush.

It was, of course, returned when he came back with tons of kisses and hugs.

Memory: What’s his favourite memory with you?

The moment he saw you after winning his first match with you watching from the crowd. His head snapped to you as soon as the last point for the match was won and you had the most dazzling smile on. 

It just filled him with such joy and happiness to see that you took the time out of your busy schedule to watch him. His heart basically just exploded when you hugged him afterwards and gushed about how amazing he was flying around.

You came to plenty of his matches after that, but nothing ever beat that rush of exhilaration he felt from the first time.

Nickname: Does he give you a nickname? Do you have one for him?

You have plenty for him: sunshine, love, tangerine, cutie, Shou, my light and more cheesy ones in private. He once asked you why you don’t call him those ones in public in front of all his friends and teammates while listing them off which basically killed you.

Once he realised that it was slightly embarrassing, he exclaimed that he loves hearing the nicknames in your voice and you should never be embarrassed. But he still understands if you don’t want to call him that.

His nicknames include shortening your name or adding “-chan” to the end of it.

Open: How open is he about his feelings?

So open. Hinata will shout how much he loves you from rooftops and mountain peaks if he feels like it. He never lets you doubt his love for you and constantly reassures you

The first time he mentioned you by “I’ll be back in time for dinner, [Name]-chan!” before running to the changing room made everyone double-take. After that, even when he received a scolding, he always says “I was able to perform better because [Name]-chan was cheering for me!” or something like that

PDA: Is he fine with PDA? How far can he go?

King of PDA right here, does not give a damn where you are. If you’re next to him and he wants to hug or kiss you? Then you’re going to receive them affections, there is no escape.

A private room of a restaurant, in the middle of a busy shopping centre, in a couple’s seat in the cinemas, nothing matters to him other than you.

Quirk: Habits or something he does which is unexpected?

Likes hiking in the afternoon. He started it first because the rough terrain would be a good workout for his leg muscles and help him in volleyball, but eventually does it whenever he’s feeling restless or bored. He’s super thankful that Japan is like, 70% mountains and tries to visit a new one every week.

Begs you to tag along because the scenery is wonderful and he wants to share it with you. Hinata wasn’t lying when he said the sunset was beautiful, the view is stunning.

Sometimes brings a picnic basket whenever you’re feeling a little down and feeds you a mountain worth of food while watching the sky change into red and orange.

Relax: What activities do you do with him to relax?

Playing video games together, often competing against each other.

Hinata received a variety of popular video games from Kenma a while back and is determined to clear all of them. He spends hours and hours of free time with you, glued on the sofa with you on his lap. It doesn’t really last though, since you wiggle and squirm so much during Mario Kart.

It usually starts in the afternoon until dinner, just hours and light competitiveness and fun. The loser usually has to clean up after the meal is finished.

Support: How supportive is he of your dreams? What do you do for him?

He’s like a serotonin boost that even being around him makes you feel more energised and motivated. Whenever you feel wiped out or exhausted, he’s right there to say positive things and encourage you to finish the assignment which is causing a massive migraine.

When you’re done, he’ll have some chocolate and warm tea to help you relax.

You pack him cute lunch boxes if you have time in the morning and put sticky notes of loving messages in it. His teammates get jealous when they see him giggling and texting you a response. 

But the best way to support him is to attend his matches and cheer for him.

Talk: What does he like talking about?

He loves talking to you about the experiences he had overseas. How different and free Brazil is, how lively and funny everyone is. Or the new players he met and trained with when he has practice matches against them.

He loves it when you talk about your childhood and all the things you went through before meeting him. There’s always something new to find out about you and he won’t stop until he knows every single detail about your life.

Umbrella: What’s his favourite weather/season?

Hinata’s favourite weather reflects his personality: a warm summer’s day. Not one of those unbearably hot and humid ones but one where the cool wind blows and the sun is pleasantly warm on your skin. 

He uses these days to go on a walk around the neighbourhood with you, mostly ending with a stroll around the park. Of course, he slathers on sunscreen on the both of you because safety first and he really needs to get rid of the remaining suncream from Brazil.

Vaunt: Does he like showing you off?

Hell yes, this boy flaunts you to everyone who’s willing to listen. Why wouldn’t he? You’re literally the best person he knows!

Not obnoxiously like “[Name]-chan is better than anyone else!” but more of a fanboy style. For instance: “I went to one of their presentations secretly and they were so eloquent and perfect, I can’t believe they’re dating me” like he isn’t one of the most sought after athletes in the entire country.

It’s to the point where his fans can recite facts about you and it leaves you confused.

“Shouyou, why does the public know all these things about me?” “Ummm…”

World: Where does he take you for vacation?

Definitely Brazil, specifically the same city he spent two years in. When he arrives, he’ll try to introduce you to all of his friends and acquaintances with the biggest smile.

He acts as a tour guide and shows you all the hidden favourite spots he found in his time there. Also teaches you some Portuguese and learns Spanish with you.

Of course, playing beach volleyball takes up a large amount of time over there. You joined in a couple of times even though your skills were considerably lacking than the other side.

It was mainly just for fun and experience (and ogling at Hinata ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

X-ray: What happens when you’re injured or sick?

This is painful—because of his memory of The Fever, he always tries to keep his body in tip-top shape. So your concerns of him overworking himself or falling ill get reduced to a minimum.

If you’re the one that’s sick, then he’s by your bed 24/7, ready to do anything you want or need. He calls up Iwaizumi and his teammates for advice and writes everything down, following it to a T.

Yearn: How much does he miss/pine for you when apart?

So damn much. This boy misses you the moment he steps into the plane and texts you until the flight attendant tells him to put the device away. It’s mostly heart emojis and selfies so he can look at them while flying.

It becomes a ritual that no matter what, no matter the difference in time, you have to call each other at least 3 times a day. It doesn’t have to be meal times but it has to be at least 3 times.

If not, he’ll be sad for the rest of the day and sulk the entire time he’s off the court. Eventually, his teammates all call you to please help this moody wing spiker.

ZZZ: Does he have sleeping habits?

Fidgets and moves around a lot in his sleep. Always wakes up in a different position and he’s so confused and disorientated. 

This kind of makes it hard for you since you sleep together so the solution was: buy a king-sized bed. It was like a whole new experience.

It works well until he once pushed you off. Your yelp woke him up and he apologised so much and nearly cried even though you were laughing and said it was okay.

[bambi-lesbian-posts]

Please drop some jellyfish facts!!! And what you're favorite species is!! (different anon from the ratatouille anon!)

You are 100% gonna regret asking me this question but it's too late, now everyone has to suffer through this ridiculously long post about jellyfish.

Okay so this one isn't my favorite species of jellyfish but it is the one I know the most about: the Cotylorhiza tuberculata AKA the egg jelly/Mediterranean jellyfish. They look like this

And as I'm sure you can guess, they're typically found in the Mediterranean BUT that's not all!!! They also populate the Aegean and Adriatic seas around mid-September/October. Despite how these pictures make them look they're actually pretty small, most of them only reach like a foot (around 40cm) across when they reach maturity which is pretty neat. Teeny tiny jelly babies. Their sting is apparently very mild/insignificant and most people stung by these guys have reported it feeling like a static/carpet shock at most, and absolutely nothing at least. Many "sting victims" only find out they've been stung once the area starts to get red, irritated, numb, and/or itchy. Their biggest predators are humans, and thanks to the summer vacation/holiday season many officials end up removing thousands of them from the ocean so that tourists won't be afraid/uncomfortable at commercial beaches which is a CRIME if you ask me.

Next on my list is the Stomolophus meleagris AKA the cannonball/cabbage head jelly and they look like this.. (personally I think they should be named eggshell jellyfish because that's what they look like but I mean cannonball is fine too I guess)

Apparently you can eat these guys, which both disgusts and saddens me simultaneously.. however I know some people are into eating weird delicacies so if you were wondering where to try them, you can find them on the Southeast coast of the United States. They're a coastal jelly which means they like shallow waters, and unfortunately they're one of the most common jellyfish you'll see washed up on the beach(boo!). Much like stingrays, it's not common for them to sting people but if and when they do, they have a special venom that can cause cardiac issues in both animals and humans. Main predators are a few different species of crab that I never learned the names of.

Another noteable mention before I reach my favorite species is the Lampocteis cruentiventer AKA the Bloodybelly Comb jellyfish that, surprise surprise, is red and spiny like this

They are bioluminescent which means they glow in the dark (not exactly but we aren't gonna get into that right now). The spines or "hairs" they have that give them their comb classification actually move like thousands of tiny legs! They use these to move through the water (at a rate that is supposed to be fast for a jellyfish, but it's actually really slow if you are able to see them moving about. I was very disappointed by this when I looked up videos to see them zooming only to watch one putter around like a kid on a practice bike). Fun fact! In the deep water where they are normally located, you actually can't see them despite their glow. This is because creatures that are red actually appear black in dark water, so scientists aren't even sure what they eat and if they have any predators at all, because we simply can't see them. They were discovered off the coast of San Diego California not too long ago so scientists also aren't sure of all the places they populate because, again, we can't see them.

Last but NEVER least, we have my absolute favorite species of jelly which is the Narcomedusae (they don't have a common name because they aren't incredibly popular jellies but I call them Medusas) and they look like this!!

Narcomedusae is actually the general species name, and there are 64 different subspecies of medusas in the wild(that we know of). I would look them up and list them but it's late and that's a lot of work. If you really want a complete list let me know and I will reblog this with one later! Anyways medusas are ambush predators, and they're really, really good at what they do thanks to their two upper tentacles that they stick in front of them while they move through the water. They live in the Mediterranean area but a few different species have been found off the coasts of Russia and China(idk which specific regions I am so sorry). None of the 64 different types of medusas have a polyp stage, which is weird because most jellies have one. For anyone wondering what a polyp stage is, most jellyfish(and marine plants/stationary creatures) start off as teeny tiny little tentacle things (think of what a sea anemone looks like) that stick to rocks. They use their tentacles to eat plankton and other floating matter before(in the jellyfish's case) they detach from whatever coral/rock they were stuck on and start growing into tiny baby jellies. Medusas are generally deep sea jellyfish so we don't really know too much about what they eat and what their predators are, but considering the fact that they are all on the pale white-blue color spectrum, it's not wild to assume that they do have predators of some sort. Anyways I like them because, as ambush predators, they can actually zoom around in the water... Which gives me an incredible amount of serotonin. They also kind of look like Darth Vader's helmet and that is amazing, I love it very much! Not to mention Narcomedusae has Medusa in it and nothing could be better than a jellyfish that is unofficially named after THE Gorgon goddess of my dreams okay

[hyperfixationtimego]

the three wingmen of thh; Leon (chaotic), Kyoto (lawful), and Hina (neutral)

Kyoto was 100% the reason Celeste is dating Junko, it’s canon now. She is extremely involved in seating for extracurricular activities (i.e. the tea parties), and commonly puts them together. She finds putting Taka and Mondo apart...helps them?? She has no idea why but if they’re seated far from each other, they are immediately cuddling once they leave the room.

Grey-hair and Blue-hair girls are dating, no I do not take criticism (grey hair has braids I think and protects a mob guy?? and blue hair is the mastermind ig, she has black glasses apparently) - queer eye anon

oh my god yes???

Leon and Chihiro were some very powerful masterminds behind ishimondo ngl 👀 like chihiro’s brainpower combined with kuwata’s sheer strength of will?? UNSTOPPABLE those gay bitches never stood a CHANCE

although to be fair, most of their plans DID involve using a digital lock and/or utilizing alter ego to somehow force them into an empty room and keep them locked in there until they finally confessed 💛

Leon ALSO wingmans for sayaka because they’re besties who hate each other ❤️ he’s constantly cracking jokes with her about how she should just text Mukuro that she wants to fuck, or jokingly advises her to use raunchy pick-up lines on Sakura. He’s come very close once or twice to just. Blurting out “HEY MUKURO! SAKURA! SAYAKA’S GOT A HUGE FUCKING CRUSH ON Y-” only to have the idol clamp a hand over his stupid dumbass mouth <3

it’s okay because sayaka absolutely gets her revenge when she has to wingman for him and makoto (the only reason she doesn’t completely fuck up kuwata’s chances and embarrass him is because she’s besties with Makoto, too, and knows the poor guy’s ALSO got it bad. There’s a lot of Sayaka (and literally everyone else too) having to deal with some gross oblivious loveydovey pining from these fucking dorks, so she gets her fill of teasing)

And Hina wingmanning for Sakura???? Bruh okay u have no IDEA how much serotonin platonic sakuraoi gives me simply because????? Them?????? They????? Love???????? I love them???

And basically Hina’s just the right amount of empathy/sympathy and logic!! Her main, go-to piece of advice is “just talk to them!” And - surprise - trusting her on this usually leads to having fun and making good memories with the object(s) of affection !!

She’s such a sweetheart??? And like yes ofc she doesn’t have an answer for everything, because her heart is just a lil bit bigger than her brain sometimes (ok but mood tho like no shame this is both kin and projecting) but she’s trying her best!!! As she always listens to whoever needs her at that moment and gives the best advice she can - which isn’t even limited to romantic situations!!! She’s one of the go-to students for when someone’s having, like, an everyday problem or feeling stressed because she’s so non-judgemental and soothing to be around!!!

It’s Hina appreciation hours 💛

Anyway, Kyoko-

she also (unfortunately) is forced to wingman for Makoto and Leon, which means a lot of listening to naegi ramble on about how cool and nice and interesting and pretty and blah blah blah kuwata is (don’t get Kirigiri wrong, she adores Leon, but a girl can only take so much, y’know?)

and requests for Makoto to simply......TELL LEON are almost ALWAYS refused because nope no way in hell absolutely not and so she’s like great I’m gonna go bang my head against a desk because I seriously cannot take the two of you anymore

eventually she (secretly) goes and talks to Leon, without betraying Makoto’s trust or disclosing any information she feels he would not be comfortable with, does her best to subtly hint at the fact that hey. koto’s got a crush. you should fucking ask him about it before I go completely insane. Leon doesn’t fully get the hint but does go talk to Makoto, which FINALLY prompts some goddamn CONVERSATION about it thank GOD

also sorry sorry not to ramble but I just????? an idea hit me like a gd truck and I need to talk about it because I love???? I love????? I love

sometime after all this, Kyoko gets inadvertently wrapped up in co-wingmanning with Makoto for Komaru and Toko/Jill. Except. Those three have no clue about the fact that there is any wingmanning going on.

so kyoko’s like “why are we doing this”

and makoto’s like “because she’s my sister and she’s in love and I want her to be happy!!!”

“Okay but shouldn’t they work this out on their own”

“Not if I have anything to say about it!!!”

“*Sigh.* Goddamnit.”

And then Leon eventually hears about it, as well, because of course makoto’s gonna talk abt it with his boyfriend, why wouldn’t he, and anyway kuwata’s like OH?? POG??? because he and Toko and he and Jill are friends!!!! So he’s like I’ll totally help omg Fukawa and Syo are gonna STOKED

(Makoto does not comment on the fact that Toko most likely will not, in fact, be stoked by the idea of kuwata meddling in her love life, but does at least advise his dear 0-braincell partner to be careful ❤️)

okay okay sorry I’m a simp for tokomaru and syomaru on main but anyway back to kyoko and seating charts-

YEAH ON GOD???

And poor Kirigiri already has trouble comprehending how social interaction works that this kinda shit just???? Completely breaks her?????

“Why.....do people.....react different.......like I will accommodate for it but.....I do not.....understand......”

does not fucking compute

(Also shhhhh don’t let Korekiyo know that there was something about human behavior Kirigiri didn’t understand because somehow they will materialize from the shadows to go on a softly excited special interest infodump ramble/lecture that lasts hours and hours)

But yeah???? Ironically enough, she’s honestly the only person from her class who’s able to, for the most part, figure out how Celestia’s mind works, and so she’s able to use that to her advantage when setting her up with Junko!!! (The thing with Celeste was that it sort of became a case to Kyoko!! Celeste was so Obviously different in her behavior and mannerisms than everyone else that Kirigiri basically ended up treating learning about her the same way she would treat trying to solve a crime or something similar!!)

For ishimondo she chalks it up to “absence makes the heart grow fonder???” she guesses????? seriously she has No Clue

also she doesn’t pick up on it but they DO give each other pining puppy dog eyes from across the room the whole goddamn time like they’re just [y e a r n]

And OKAY ANON???? HEY ANON????? WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THE FUCKING GALAXY BRAIN JUICE???? HELLO???????

I. how is it possible to not know the games and yet,,,,,,,conjure up a concept so incredible????? Pekomugi,,,,,,,,,my g o d

Ok ok ok ok ok hold on hold on lemme gather my thoughts because holy fuck

FIRST OF ALL, Tsumugi is a GIANT nerd, so the thought of having a SWORD GF???? A GIRLFRIEND WHO IS A SWORDSMAN???? HOLY FUCK?????? she can live out her wildest samurai anime fantasies,,,,,,,because she quite literally has a swordswoman girlfriend who would protect her with her sword oh my g o d

SECOND OF ALL, Tsumugi also????? fucking loves sitting in on Peko’s training sessions to watch her beautiful incredible wonderful darling partner spar??? and use badass techniques and strategies???? Literally Tsumugi is always blown away??

and she ALWAYS comes and barrels into Peko to give her a gigantic hug and shower her with kisses once training’s over!!!! And Peko doesn’t understand because

“I am hot and sweaty. I am currently very gross, why are you kissing me,”

“No!!! You’re stunning and perfect and charming!!!! You make me swoon!!! Oh, dear knight, hold me in your sweet embrace....”

meanwhile peko’s just like babe pls let me go take a shower

and okay final thing I promise, but....Peko is absolutely astonished by Tsumugi’s cosplay abilities???? Like with a lot of her works, Peko can hardly even believe that that’s her gd girlfriend????? Like sweet JESUS her datemate is damn good at makeup and disguising herself and whatnot

“cosplay is an art and you have perfected it,” like catch tsumugi fuckinf crying

[crapitskizaru]

Side Effects May Include: Devil Fruits Edition

🦖 Could I request some HCs on how devil fruits would affect the user’s sex lives? :o this is so vague but it’s so interesting to consider that I wanted to hear your opinions, haha

Warning: in-depth analysis of all the naturalistic filth that comes along in the topic of a human body and sexual encounters + freakishly long-ass post that includes most of the currently known devil fruits 

Logia Types

Hie Hie no Mi (Kuzan) 

❄️ since he’s such a chilly guy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), he’d certainly use his abilities to cool down the temperature of his body during any sexual encounter - Kuzan doesn’t really like all the heat and sweat that is produced during the steamy see what I did here? hilarious times in between him and his current lover 

❄️ if his partner’s vagina is sore because of reasons varying from physical injuries to hardcore love-making, he’s the perfect guy to come up with a quick solution - a chilly, smooth dildo of his own making to ease out the pain pretty much torpedoes the problem 

Goro Goro no Mi (Enel)

⚡️ this one’s a little tricky; since he can transform himself into pure electricity, he’d have to keep that in mind at all times, especially when reaching his climax - so that he wouldn’t electrocute his lover from too much excitement 

⚡️ if he’s an extreme sucker for kinkplays, he could use the tiniest bit of his powers to either stimulate his partner or punish them for disobedience of any kind, provided they’re into it as well 

⚡️ given that Enel can also use his skills to listen to the electrical sound waves in the air, he’d have an incredibly detailed perception of how his lover reacts to particular sex positions, angles of his thrusts and so on i honestly don’t know what to do with this information 

Gasu Gasu no Mi (Caesar)

☁️ sex in the air?????

Magu Magu no Mi (Sakazuki)

🐶 this shit only serves him an inability to get too caught up in the moment, unless he wants this particular person to get burned alive during sex 

🐶 so besides the obvious flaws, the only advantage I can think of is being able to serve as a human heater to his partner during particularly cold nights if only he would ever actually cuddle someone

Mera Mera no Mi (Acey & Saboo)

🔥 just as with Akainu, these bois will instantly heat up even their coldest partners - a lot of warmth and a lot of sweat-producing usually accompanies them during love-making sessions 

🔥 might include the annoying issue of holes being burned right through their clothing whenever they get too fiery with the act - as well as the possibility of unintentionally starting a fire in the room 

Moku Moku no Mi (Smoker)

🚬 I can easily imagine him using the ability of producing as much smoke as he fancies to blind his lover for maximized kinky submission experience 

🚬 also, using the great speed with which all the smoke allows him to move in order to intensify the frequency of his thrusts - could it get any better?

Numa Numa no Mi (Caribou) 

🛸 used for stabilizing his partner’s legs/waist/arms so that he can devote all of his attention towards pleasuring both of them, without having to worry about occupying his hands to hold them 

🛸 also available for kinky use - all of that bondage gear could be replaced with those muddy serpents of his just perfect 

🛸 provided he’s got a rather powerful dominance/daddy kink, Caribou could also create the bottomless swamps to trap his partner and make them beg for his cock 

Pika Pika no Mi (Borsalino) 

💥 reflecting himself into various positions to gain dominance? Heating his partner up? Providing enough room lighting? Sex at the speed of light? What?

Suna Suna no Mi (Crocodaddy) 

🐊 trapping his lover in piles of quicksand for further teasing seems like a good enough idea to me - also, since he can crumble things to dust in literal seconds, stripping his partner down is never as quick as when it comes to this man 

🐊 the ability to absorb any liquid makes cleaning up his cum from the drenched sheets a rather easy job that’s quite handy actually 

Yami Yami no Mi (Blackbeard) 

👺 the only use of this shit that I can think of is, again, blinding his partner and surrounding them with pure darkness, leaving them all hot and bothered in anticipation for his traitorous cock 

👺 could also serve as a technique of pulling a person towards himself, like he did with Ace, but that’s just too scary to me, idk 

Yuki Yuki no Mi (Monet)

💨 compressing her snow to different bondage gear, as well as cooling her partner down at particularly humid times - although I think it’d be hard for her to control the powers while being in a highly aroused state 

Paramecia Types

Ato Ato no Mi (Jora) 

🎨 courting her crushes with abstract art paintings, thank u very much 

Awa Awa no Mi (Kalifa) 

🛁 unlimited lube supplies

🛁 now that’s what I’m talking about 

🛁 I can assure you, this woman would go all out with those bubbly powers - using it to turn her various kinks into reality 

🛁 used for draining her partner’s energy to gain as much dominance over them as possible; also to clean up from all the bodily fluids that cover them after each round of sex 

🛁 could come in handy to relax her partner and bring them floods of pleasure, often to the point of overstimulation 

Baku Baku no Mi (Wapol) 

🏰 no, I can’t do this 

Bane Bane no Mi (Bell)

🛎 boing-boinging into his lover during sex??????

Bara Bara no Mi (Buggy D. Clown)

🤡 oh, this one’s good 

🤡 this fruit allows him to use more dildos and plugs with his fingers than he could count on one hand - mainly because he’s got two im so funny 

🤡 thrusting inside his partner and giving oral at the exact same time, because why not; the only requirement would be that his lover can’t get too grossed out by all of this dirty shit 

Bari Bari no Mi (Bartolomeo)

💫 being able to make love to his partner against the barriers that he creates/creating surfaces to fuck on in places that no one sane enough would ever consider as suitable ones for having sex 

Bata Bata no Mi (Galette) 

😈 imagine how much fun this woman has in bed - being able to control and restrict anyone’s movements with those buttery thingies, she doesn’t even have to try much to be the dominant one in between the sheets

😈 also, consider this: butter-flavoured lube and unlimited + unbreakable flavoured condoms 

Beri Beri no Mi (Very Good)

🍇 berry/sphere-shaped dildos??? incredible

Beta Beta no Mi (Trebol)

💧 if his partner has a vagina, he could control their discharge, as in the amount and its texture - what for, I have no idea 

💧 he’d also be able to restrict his lover’s movements, as well as come up with new positions, since he can attach himself to any surface 

💧 other use may be as a lube? although that’s pretty disgusting 

Bisu Bisu no Mi (Cracker) 

🍪 do you find yourself daydreaming about sweets when close to climaxing? Are you experiencing unexpected, overwhelming cravings during sex? Constantly hungry? Or simply bored with orgasms? Fear not! This man will supply you with floods of biscuits to munch on so that both of you will be pleasured 

🍪 moving cookie dildos??

Doru Doru no Mi (Mr.3)

🕯 various bondage constructions made with wax? 

Fuku Fuku no Mi (Kin’emon)

👙 imagine how many sets of lingerie this man would create for his partner to wear - a literal dream come true when it comes to this pervert 

Fuwa Fuwa no Mi (Shiki)

🦁 advanced sex positions in the air/rotating his lover according to the man’s whims 

Giro Giro no Mi (Violet) 

🌹 this woman would bring her lover as much pleasure as possible while also making their deepest kinks and desires come true 

🌹 she’s also able to read which positions are the most enjoyable for her partner and what they secretly think of her sex skills kinda scary if you ask me 

Gura Gura no Mi (Whitebeard) 

🌎 what may be possible when it comes to this fruit is creating the tiniest vibrations in order to stimulate different areas of a human body and bringing powerful orgasms, although that’s just too good to be true 

Hana Hana no Mi (Robin-chwan) 

🌷 giving oral and being able to grope her partner, both at the same time, seems like a pretty good use of this devil fruit 

🌷 slight possibility of sprouting as many pair of legs as she fancies and ability to take theoretically unlimited partners at the same time? 

Horu Horu no Mi (Ivankov) 

👅 starting the love-making session while having a dick and ending it with a vagina? Why not? 

👅 imagine how much Ivankov could arouse their partner by increasing their levels of dopamine/serotonin/testosterone/estrogen, according to their desires

Hoya Hoya no Mi (Charlotte Daifuku) 

🏺 gains +1 spectator, if he’s an exhibitionist ;)

Kage Kage no Mi (Gekko Moria) 

🕳 could have multiple partners, exclusively at his service?

Kilo Kilo no Mi (Miss Valentine) 

🎀 would totally be able to pin her lover to the bed, preventing them from flipping on top of her - what an easy way to gain dominance, although she’d have to be extra careful not to crush them well

Kobu Kobu no Mi (Bello Betty<3)

🌌 her partner receives almost overwhelming waves of encouragement, whether in order to praise them or to push them to keep going - this woman certainly doesn’t take sex lightly 

🌌 is able to turn even the most insecure lovers into confident sex-animals in the matter of seconds 

Kuri Kuri no Mi (Charlotte Opera) 

🍦 moisture! Lube! Food kink! Quick snack! Fluffy surface! Whatever you want!

Mane Mane no Mi (Bon Clay) 

🦄 ever wished it was your crush instead of ą random hook-up? Problem solved indefinitely~

Mato Mato no Mi (Vander Decken)

🐍 he could try aiming dildos at his partner from afar? Why did I even think of this?

Memo Memo no Mi (Charlotte Pudding) 

🎞 rewatching her and her partner’s favorite sex moments whenever she wants, almost like a portable(?), realistic porn movie

🎞 being able to erase all of the sexual encounters during which she either didn’t enjoy herself enough or performed badly and doesn’t want her lover to remember it terrifying 

Mero Mero no Mi (Hancock) 

🎇 keeps perverts at distance 

Mochi Mochi no Mi (Charlotte Katakuri) 

🍩 food kink

🍩 is able to restrain his lover’s movements so that they have to plead for his cock - good method whenever Mochi’s in a dominant mood~ 

🍩 food kink

🍩 it also allows him to create as much mochi as he desires in order to either lick it off of his partner’s body or make them lick him clean 

Nagi Nagi no Mi (Rosie)

🍰 his lover can be as loud as they want - screams, pleads, moans and groans of pleasure - nothing will be audible outside of his sphere, which comes in handy when he just wants to have a quickie and Doffy’s in the room next to them 

Netsu Netsu no Mi (Charlotte Oven) 

🌡 hot dick 

Nikyu Nikyu no Mi (Bartholomew Kuma)

🐾 useful when you never want to see your partner again 

Ope Ope no Mi (Trafalgar the Fucking Law) 

⛄️ now that’s the kinkiest shit 

⛄️ just visualize all of the fucked up poses and positions he could slice his partner into, and then multiply it by Law’s level of sadism - great 

⛄️ this man’s totally able to make his partner watch from afar as he plays and fucks their body the way he likes 

⛄️ could he slice his dick off and use it as a dildo though?

Ori Ori no Mi (Hina)

⛓ brings hardcore bondage to a completely new level (:

Pero Pero no Mi (Charlotte Perospero) 

🍭 what else if not creating lickable, candy dildos - and just like Mochi, he loves to lick his own candy from his lover’s body 

🍭 also various candy creations to restrain his lover with

Wara Wara no Mi (Basil Hawkins) 

🃏 cute little voodoo dolls to cuddle!

Ito Ito no Mi (Donquixote Doflamingo)

🍨 imagine how incredibly kinky this man can get with his powers 

🍨 holding his partner in the air with those strings? Leaving small cuts all over their body, if they agree to that, edging and marking?

🍨 also using it as bondage gear and maximalyzing his Daddy authority/dom position, since his partner can’t even wriggle so that they won’t get cut 

Bastard Bastard no Mi (Eustass Kid)

🔥 manipulating the restricting bondage gear/handcuffs/jewelry of his partner’s according to his whims and wishes 

🔥 also knife play mastered to perfection?

Zoan Types

🦖 every furry’s heaven, thank u 

[mentalwise]

Orthorexia - Infos

Orthorexia: If Healthy Eating Masks an Eating Disorder

Why healthy eating can mask an eating disorder

One of my readers asked me to write an article about Orthorexia. So I'm starting the new year with my maybe most important text, yet.

Orthorexia, when healthy eating turns into an eating disorder.

It might be a little bit frightening to find out what could happen if you go too far with what´s supposed to be healthy.

Before I go into the topic, I would like to point out that this is not going to be an anti-healthy eating article! “Healthy” eating and an attentive, mindful lifestyle are crucial. I am against antibiotics in animal feasts, and eating fast food every day is definitely not beneficial for our health. It is not a good idea to “indulge” the media instead of actively living your life. Eat balanced, get all nutrients your body and soul need, but: food is food; it´s for nourishing your bodies, not for coping issues. Healthy eating is not only about what we choose to eat. It is also how we think about nutrition and our bodies. An unrestricted attitude towards food means finding a balance that satisfies our physical and emotional needs.

Unrestricted eating means eating consciously and yet, let food be just food.

Those who feel the need to constantly check their intake, because it might contain something that is supposedly "harmful," those who react with unpleasant emotions, fear, evasive reactions, feelings of guilt and with the urge to compensate as soon as something does not comply with the self-imposed rules, should be alert. Then something goes wrong!

Orthorexia nervosa has only been known since 1997. The physician Dr. Steven Bratman, who according to his own words, suffered from this disorder, coined this term. Orthorexic behavior can be the beginning of an eating disorder career. This article is intended to raise awareness of this disorder and is, therefore, important prevention.

🔗 Orthorexia and anorexia have something in common.

The biological reactions, which we can´t control, can also lead to binge eating or bulimia. Orthorexia comes in any sex, size, and age. Children show orthorexic traits as they are forced into their orthorexic parent´s patterns.

The onset of orthorexia is apparently harmless and almost always goes unnoticed. However, the course of the disease steadily worsens and often leads to a long period of physical and psychological suffering.

In our western world, food is always available and we are bombarded with all the different messages about what and what not we should do or eat.

The worst, most harmful and, above all, most false of all proclamations is that we can no longer trust our bodies!

In fact, it's not our bodies that are failing. It is our thoughts and emotions that cause us to subordinate our intuition and knowledge to false beliefs, to messages that manipulate our brains, and hit our biggest fears.

What should nourish our bodies and our souls becomes one of the most significant stress factors, hidden and unnoticed under the mask of an apparently healthy lifestyle.

People with orthorexia always strive for the perfect diet, the absolute way of living, which is controllable and thus defeats all fears and inadequacies. Orthorexia does not focus on appearance or weight, although weight loss and malnutrition are common consequences. The primary goal is to cleanse and keep the self and the body pure.

"Food, no matter how pure, cannot fill the space in your soul that longs for love and spiritual experience. If you are trying to use it for this purpose, you may have gone astray on your journey." S. Bratman

In fact, it is about control. A need for control that attaches itself to food. Later, it usually comes to excessive exercising and other compulsive behaviors. Good is never good enough.

Control leads to obsession, and obsession is cumulative: a little less fat becomes no fat. A little less sugar becomes no sugar. Less coffee becomes no coffee, fewer carbohydrates become no carbohydrates, and eating less from time to time, becomes several days of water fasting.

Exercising a little bit more turns into an obsession with sports, and a healthy lifestyle turns into orthorexia. Obsession with food becomes a masked identity.

These patterns influence not only the lives of those affected, but often also those of their fellow human beings. In contrast to anorexia and other eating disorders, Orthorexia is not a hidden illness. Those affected feel the urge to carry their convictions into the world. All those who do not comply with them get instructed, corrected, and, worst case, excluded. Anyone who does not follow their instructions is perceived as a threat. In the end, they are only around people who live according to the same rigid rules. This is why orthorexia is well camouflaged in groups. Everybody or no one. All or nothing. People in these groups convince each other that symptoms have different reasons than their diet. They prevent each other from leaving this path by addressing the fundamental fear that promotes this disease: Not being good enough. This is why even those who already show apparent symptoms do not notice that something is going incredibly wrong. This makes diagnosis difficult and a cure inaccessible for many.

What people with eating disorders have in common is that they don´t recognize that what they are doing is hurting them. Eating disorders are not logical. They are not accessible to reasonable arguments. So it is, therefore, all the more important that we not only keep an attentive eye on our own thoughts and actions but also on those of our fellow human beings.

How can orthorexia be recognized?

The eating habits of people with orthorexia are beyond reasonable and balanced.

Whole food groups are avoided. Nothing is eaten that is produced in a certain way. There is an official or unofficial list of foods that must not be ingested. All members of the family must adhere to this dogma. The more the disease progresses, the more the food choices are being limited.

Other habits

For example, food may only be prepared in a certain way with certain spices. Eat only warm food. Or it may no longer be eaten in the evening. There must be no more frying. It must not be eaten before noon or only once a day... etc.

Exercising

Exercising moderately slowly becomes an obsession with sport. They must work out a certain number of hours. They have to run x km, stopping before reaching their goals is perceived as a failure. The must workout every on Monday or every day. Even rain, cold, pain, and fatigue are no longer considered reasons to literally slow down.

Other compulsions

Any kind of compulsive behavior can follow orthorexia.

Constantly thinking about nutrition

Orthorexics are occupied with their diet, always looking for the perfect solution. They keep counting micro- and macronutrients until the brain becomes a nutrition table and the subject dominates every conversation.

Fear of eating food prepared by others.

If people with orthorexia can´t control the ingredients of their food, they avoid eating, or they feel guilty or afraid of being poisoned or damaged if avoidance is not possible. They are compensating with for example 🔗cleansing. It gives them the feeling to regain control. Fasting before an event or a meal that is not prepared like they need it to be ready is also quite common.

Criticizing others for their diet and lifestyle

As said, people with orthorexia consider their rules to be generally valid and expect their environment to fit in. Orthorexic people not only control their own intake, but they also try to control their fellow human beings. The others should confirm the correctness of their behavior by doing the same. If they refuse to obey, they are shunned.

Other physical and psychological symptoms:

Frequent or intensified headaches/migraines, brain fog, concentration problems

🔗 The brain needs carbohydrates because it can live almost exclusively on them. Our neuronal functions depend on a stable glucose level. Our brain needs 60% of the body's blood sugar to maintain its functions. If it can´t keep this level because of malnutrition, it first empties the stores in the liver, but they are also limited. Muscle substance is then broken down and at last, the fat stores.

When this happens, the liver converts the body fat into so-called ketones. It is not yet clear what ketones do in the long term in the brain and body. We know from studies with anorexia patients that a brain in a state of hunger, i.e. in ketosis, loses a massive amount of its functionality.

Unfortunately, the 🔗ketogenic diet is very popular. In fact, this is pseudo-science. There are only a few medical reasons for a massive reduction of Carbs.

Mood swings and depressions

Too little intake of carbs has a negative influence on serotonin, a hormone we need for our mood regulation. Depression might be a side effect of not eating enough carbs.

Hypersomnia

The body needs carbohydrates to produce tryptophan. We need this substance for healthy sleep; otherwise, we feel tired during the day, we don´t have any energy and we are in a bad mood. Sleeping saves energy, so our brain sends us into  🔗 hibernation.

Low energy level

We need all the nutrients we can get to keep our body functioning, even when we do nothing at all. The more we move (or think 😉), the more nutrients we need. Protein, carbohydrates, and fats are essential to store and deliver energy if required.

Isolation

Those who are afraid of other peoples food avoid social interactions, because they are often associated with food. Some orthorexic patients only meet with their peers, which reinforces the feeling of doing everything right and fixates the disease. The can feel a massive fear of being excluded from the group.

Bad breath

Bad breath occurs when the liver breaks down fat cells, i.e. when the carbohydrate intake is too low. The breath then smells like acetone.

Digestive problems (diarrhea, constipation or both)

Too much raw food, too many grains, too many seeds (chia and co.) is usually not easy to handle for the gut, and the biome needs carbs.

Irregular or painful menstrual cycle or no cycle at all/ erectile dysfunction in men

A sufficient supply of fat and carbohydrates is necessary to ensure and stabilize hormone pro-duction (sex hormones and others) in both men and women.

Weight loss

This is the highest risk that orthorexia turns into anorexia. At any age and for any sex! Affected people often eat large quantities of food and still stay thin. This is because what they eat usually has a very low energy density, i.e., few calories. In fact, they typically eat far less than they need, or they fast regularly to make up for their "nutritional sins." In case of genetic predisposition, this behavior plus malnutrition could cause anorexia.

Cravings and binge eating as a biological response

Our body is always striving to maintain its balance. We get cravings and eat huge amounts of our forbidden food. If we compensate (fasting with intestinal cleansing, vomiting or excessive exercise), this can lead to bulimia or anorexia of the binge/purge type. This is often the onset of the binge-purge-cycle. The metabolism turns down from restriction, weight gain is the result. This is another reason to fast or restrict.

Reduced bone density, even at a normal weight, even in men.

If carbohydrates are not available, the body extracts calcium from the bones to fight acidosis. Fatigue fractures are often the first signs

Muscle pain and tendon injuries

Muscles need protein and carbohydrates for proper functioning.

They break down when they are deficient in nutrients, injuries no longer heal and tendons can tear especially if doing sports in a malnourished body (=RED-S relative energy deficit in sports.)

(Pseudo)food intolerances

🔗"When food intolerances appear and the patient has an eating disorder, then the primary reason for failing to tolerate these foods will be too little energy within the body available to produce adequate amounts of digestive enzymes.

The more you cut out, the less you can digest properly. The less you can digest properly, the more you cut out. It's a vicious cycle that keeps orthorexia alive. Pseudo intolerances can always heal, but it is a long and painful process that requires consistency.

🔗Carbs, 🔗Protein and 🔗Fat are essential.

I´ve just told you a lot about carbs.

Protein another macronutrient is necessary for the production of enzymes, it s needed for the healing-, growing- and functioning processes of all organs and all body tissues and for the supply of energy when carbohydrates are not available.

Fats provide energy, protects our organs, maintains constant body temperature, helps with hormone production and cell growth. It keeps the insulin metabolism stable and makes some of the vitamins available for the organism.

In addition to macronutrients, micronutrients, i.e. vitamins and trace elements, are also vital for our organism in certain quantities and compositions. We cannot really do without any food component without causing long-term damage to our bodies, as even the most effective compensation possibilities are limited! Depending on the nutritional status and stage, the same problems occur with orthorexia as with all other restrictive eating disorders, sometimes even more so, as they go unnoticed for too long or are classified as a "fluff" by those affected, because: Neither shall it be.

Who is mainly at risk for orthorexia?

Orthorexia has not yet been sufficiently researched. However, it seems that genetics plays a rather subordinate role here. Orthorexia is mainly about false beliefs and compulsive behavior.

Obsessive self-control, self-observation, and self-optimization are the main goal.

The behavior that leads to orthorexia often occurs immediately after a stressful, frightening event that gives the feeling of no longer being able to make decisions. Illnesses, separations, loss of a job, the death or serious illness of a relative are massive triggers. Certain sports, such as bodybuilding, ballet or martial arts, which require special dietary habits, are considered to be the starting point for this disease. Even people who are professionally concerned with health and nutrition and the consequences of a less than optimal lifestyle are in some ways more at risk than the average.

Personality traits, that promote this eating disorder:

Perfectionist people who do not allow themselves to make mistakes are particularly at risk

People with low self-esteem, low self-esteem, and negative self-image

People who are very determined

People who set no limits, not even to themselves

People who tend to exaggerate

People who are prone to compulsive behavior

Anxious personalities

And highly sensitive people who think a lot about life, themselves and their fellow human beings.

Orthorexia, like other eating disorders, is also a bio-psycho-social disease.

Conclusion:

IMPORTANT:

Life circumstances, physical reactions, and personality traits interact in a way that triggers and sustains this disease. Not everyone who maintains healthy nutrition and a mindful lifestyle is at risk. Not all vegans have orthorexia, and even fasting from time to time is not necessarily harmful if the thought behind it, the intention, is not about compensations.

If you find yourself in these descriptions, whether in most of the symptoms or just in tendencies, see the red flag and/or get help if you can't do it alone.

Eating disorders are treatable and they are nothing to be ashamed of. Not even if you are a man, or adult, or working in a profession where such a problem could almost be a violation of honor.

Turn to someone you trust and who is not in these pseudo-healthy patterns. This can be your best friend, or your partner, if not affected him/herself. If you don't want to open up to your loved ones, go to a doctor, or psychologist/psychotherapist specialized in eating disorders. Don't wait until the illness is stronger than you are.

If you know someone who is behaving as if he or she could have orthorexia, talk to them carefully and offer your help. Don't be discouraged if the person denies his problems. The most important thing is that these people know that they are not alone. Keep in mind that orthorexia is often seen in groups and family structures. To break free then takes even more courage and willpower. They will come if they are ready, even if it might take some time!

I put some links to sites of eating disorder coaches below the text.  Unfortunately, I don´t have addresses from German ED Coaches but if you know someone, please contact me.  Whenever you need my advice or support, feel free to email me😉Life is for living, not for counting nutrients.

🔗Links:Video:

Kayla's Story

Steve Bratman

Orthorexia Self Test. The information on his site has not been updated since 2017.

Elisa, Recovery Coach

She was herself affected by orthorexia and other eating disorders. She does online coaching and puts many videos on YouTube. She is a very nice, affectionate and non-judgmental person you can trust in any case.

Kayla Rose is my favorite for everything about and around eating disorders

At Seven Health you will find excellent advice and podcasts (real health radio) on all topics of eating behavior and nutrition. Coaching is also available.

Becky Freestone, Co-founder of the Triple- R- Recovery- Center, Info, YouTube and Coaching

[pink-rathian-official]

At the beginning of 2019, I mentioned I would keep track of every game I finished, and sum up my thoughts on all of them at the end of the year. And now I’m half regretting it because I’m gonna have to write out a short summary for each of these games. Oh well. You’ll be able to find all of them under the Read More, if you’re interested. Will be including an arbitrary score next to each game based on how much I enjoyed them.

Just some fun numbers before we jump in to the meat of the post- In 2019, I beat a total of 41 games. That’s an average of 3.41 games per month, which actually isn’t too bad of a rate!

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate (5/5) 100% complete! Beaten twice! Without doubt, the best Smash game yet. You didn’t need me to tell you this- if you’ve got a Switch, then you’ve probably got Smash.

Bayonetta (4/5) A classic character action game, and an immense source of nostalgia for me. Play this game or I’ll break your knees.

Bayonetta 2 (4/5) I actually went into this game with low expectations, I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as the first game. Fortunately I was stupid and wrong and ended up loving it just as much as Bayo1.

Splatoon 2 (3/5) The story wasn’t particularly the most enjoyable thing ever, although I did sink a pretty decent amount of time into the multiplayer. Still not my go-to game if I’m looking for a quick match.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (4/5) It was enjoyable, although kinda started dragging on towards the end. The side content started feeling very repetitive, especially the shrines- but it was still a genuinely great time.

DOOM (2016) (3/5) I raged a wee bit, gonna admit. Although it was fun, I had a lot of frustrations with the late game.

Cthon (3/5) Doom, but a Lovecraftian roguelike. I’d recommend picking it up on Steam, it’s only USD$4.99 regularly, and USD$1.69 during the Steam sale currently going on.

Fire Emblem: Awakening (4/5) I suck at strategy games because I’m a smoothbrain, but FE:A is totally one of the best 3DS games ever released. Lucina is my daughter and the story made me cry.

Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition (2/5) I already played the 3DS version, and went into the DE expecting it to be a bit more enjoyable- and while it was, I did find myself getting bored rather quickly.

The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind (5/5) The best TES game ever released according to many fans. While I do still prefer Skyrim more, I can see exactly why so many love it. Planning on returning to do the DLCs soon.

Night in the Woods (4/5) I hate story-centric games, but I liked NITW a lot. The exploration was nice, seeing the town change day-to-day was nice, and the ending was freaky in a good way

Warhammer: Vermintide 2 (4/5) An incredibly fun game, very similar to Left 4 Dead but fantasy themed and with rat monsters. Launched my obsession with the Skaven.

Fallout 3 (2/5) Yeah just play New Vegas instead mate.

Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag (3/5) If you separate it from the rest of the relatively mediocre AC series, Black Flag is pretty gud. I like being a pirate. I don’t like tailing missions. I really don’t like ship tailing missions.

Ib (3/5) I played this game a few times through during my obsession with RPGMaker horror games. Still holds up pretty strong, although it’s a wee bit short.

Amorous (3/5) 100% complete! Yeah it’s just a lewd furry dating sim. Does have a decent character maker that I use as a reference for my fursona now though!

Way of the Samurai 3 (4/5) I don’t know why this game slipped under everyone’s radar back on release. Just overall a very Nice samurai simulator, albeit with some combat that takes some getting used to.

Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate (5/5) The best MonHun released yet. World is great, but for some reason it just doesn’t hold me like GU does. Maybe I’m just a boomer.

Super Mario Odyssey (3/5) It’s definitely what you’d expect out of Mario. Not a bad game by any means, but I just didn’t really keep attached to it like most others seemed to.

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (4/5) I like being a lawyer, and I love the serotonin rush that I get when cornering a criminal on their logic.

Resident Evil 7 biohazard (4/5) The first RE game I’ve played to completion. I don’t regret it at all, because it was super good. Got some great DLC as well.

SoulCalibur VI (Libra of Soul + Soul Chronicle) (4/5) Loved the character creation, loved gitting gud- did not love some of the side missions in LoS because holy Hell a lot of them are bullshit.

Borderlands 2 (4/5) I hated the first Borderlands, and went into 2 expecting more of the same. Ended up leaving surprisingly satisfied. Great loot n’ shoot all around.

Deus Ex: Game of the Year Edition (4/5) It took me a few tries to really get into this one, but once I did I was totally hooked. The ending battle could’ve used a little more love, but it was still by all means a great game.

Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines (4/5) Despite being a clearly rushed game with a drop in quality towards the last few hours, VtmB is still one of the most solid action RPGs I’ve ever played. Still not exactly gonna excuse the last couple of boss battles though.

Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc (5/5) This went from “tumblr meme game that I had no interest in” to “one of the best fucking games I have ever played, and it hurt me deeply.” I don’t think I’ve ever been so invested in a story before, and the trial system was very refreshing.

Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair (5/5) How did they make a story with twists even more mindblowing than the first game? While THH invested me into the series, GD solidified my newfound love for it.

Which (3/5) 100% complete! A very short experimental horror game by indie animator and developer Mike Inel. Not bad at all, and completely worth the free download.

Skullgirls: 2nd Encore (3/5) I never really got good at this game, although the story mode was still very enjoyable. Not particularly something I’m probably gonna be coming back to.

Hollow Knight (5/5) Absolutely spectacular Metroidvania that gives quite a unique challenge. Fell in love with this game so bad that I was constantly thinking about it at work. Please stop comparing it to Dark Souls, it’s such an amazing game on its own merit without needing that comparison.

Undertale (5/5) It’s Undertale, do you really need me to tell you how amazing it is?

Devil May Cry 3 (Dante story) (4/5) Extremely fun and challenging. If you haven’t played this game yet then you are wrong. Beating the first Vergil battle without being hit filled me with very unneeded confidence- the spectacular final battle against Vergil stripped that confidence away.

Ion Fury (3/5) Very challenging, but still super enjoyable. The heroine is a genuine badass, loved hearing her quips. The final boss was garbo though.

Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice (5/5) Sekiro absolutely deserved the GOTY award. Loved the combat, loved the challenge, loved everything about this beautiful game.

Dragon Quest XI S: Echoes of an Elusive Age Definitive Edition (5/5) DQXI singlehandedly changed my opinion on JRPGs. A story that’s equal parts awesome and tearjerking, combat that feels truly satisfying, and a quirky world that had me hooked for all 98+ hours.

Danganronpa Another Story: Ultra Despair Girls (4/5) While it absolutely was a good game, something about it didn’t really hold the charm that the other Danganronpa games had. The story was still superb, and the twist at the end was hooh.

Spyro the Dragon (3/5) 120% complete! The nostalgia factor drew me in, the level design kept me. Except for Tree Tops, fuck you Tree Tops.

WarioWare Gold (3/5) Packed with the best microgames from WarioWare’s history, but not enough content to keep me there past the main story mode.

Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater 3D (3/5) MGS3 is one of my favorite games ever, but the 3DS port’s framerate issues really killed the fun for me.

Halo: Reach (4/5) The story mode was good, but the multiplayer was absolutely sublime. I raged, I cheered, I had the fun I missed out on growing up without an Xbox.

[grayareaculture]

deficit state of mind

i’ve been obsessed with cleaning lately, not cleaning in the sense that i’m sanitizing the surfaces in my house but cleaning in the sense of picking out unused objects that i can purge or sell. it all started with a package that arrived from japan --- one of many --- of some anime merchandise i realized i didn’t want as much as i thought i did. so, after taking a few photos of them, i posted them on an app and waited for them to sell.

a few of them started going fast. i experienced a surge of serotonin every time someone bit. more, i thought, i need to look for more. so i scoured my drawers full of weeb shit and even the closet, which had been collecting dust, for anything and everything that was still in good condition to be bought. why can’t i stop? i wondered to myself as i sat down after each sweep through to try and read or write, only to jump up with a restless urge to go searching for more to sell. it isn’t about the money --- i don’t need more of that. all things considered, i’m doing pretty well. so what’s with the compulsion? i haven’t been able to read return of the king for days.

sometimes, when you’re writing and you get stuck on a sentence that doesn’t seem to want to work for the text, you go back a few more sentences and check if the problem began earlier. after rambling about all this to my newfound counselor a few days ago, i realized it started long before the arrival of that one package from japan.

money is complicated. even if you’re not obsessed with making more money for the sake of having more money itself, it’s still complicated. capitalism is psychotic. it was only a year ago when i tried to put myself out there and make anime merch of my own. it’s fun to design and create and i get a rush of joy  when i receive a big pile full of art that i drew in tangible form. did you know some sticker places lets you submit designs with selectively holographic or transparent spots? they look incredible. they feel incredible. they’re unique. i couldn’t stop making them or dreaming more up. there was maybe just one problem. i’m just an amateur artist. my skill level is cute but sloppy at best. even if my products turn out really cute, even if i am happy about them, most people who are not my friends do not actually want to buy them.

i make mistakes all the time in my life. some cost more than others. some can be fixed. some can’t be. some i can move on from. the ones that really stick with me, however, are the ones where i fail to break even in the aftermath.

the feeling of deficit is a slimy piece of gunk that sticks to your leg even after five washes. no matter how hard you try, the stain won’t come out. i love gift giving and making and packing merch, but i spend more than i make back, always. my desire to bring new creations into the world overshadows the amount of people who want to possess it. and isn’t that sad? isn’t that just dandy? if an artist expresses themselves and no one is around to see it, did it even matter? the naive and hopeful answer would be yes. the cynic in me has trouble believing that to be true. it’s a deficit of lies you tell yourself and lack of reward to show for the risk. deficits drove me to buy more rare merch. deficits drove me to create harder, sell harder. deficits is like chasing the moon while still on the earth. no matter how hard you step on the gas, you will never get there unless your trajectory and manpower propels you up the z-axis instead of the x or the y. deficits are here to stay.

sometimes, currency isn’t tit for tat down to the monetary value. sometimes, it’s exchanging apples for oranges. sometimes, it’s exchanging labor for someone else’s enjoyment. sometimes, because deficit grows by collecting interesting, a fair exchange involves carving out the niagra falls in order to make up for losing a pond.

is it fair? no. but neither is anything else that runs in this world.

[rat-game]

Update 10/2020

I haven’t posted in a while so I’d like to talk about what I’ve been up to. I’ve been working on rat_game every single day though

Programming

In the past few weeks I’ve been refactoring my old stuff, the problem with doing something you haven’t mastered yet is that by the time you finish, you’re already better at it than when you started and everything suddenly seems sub-par. That happened a lot for my programming stuff but I’m confident that this time I’ve chosen far better software-design that hopefully future-proves my code. I’ve commited thousands of lines to my github in the past few weeks, I try to start work around 14:00 and stop at 20:00 and then maybe do some art-stuff at night. I’ve had a lot of personal stuff go really bad recently and having something to focus on that is fun was a huge help for me. I’ve also started working with GLSL which is a shader language and doing that was incredibly interesting, it’s a completely different paradigm than both functional and object-oriented programming and the fact that you can literally see what your code does because it translates to an image is incredibly rewarding. By learning shaders I’ve tried to face one of my biggest weaknesses knowledge-wise which is geometry and while I very much have not gotten any better at that I’m now able to create any effect I’d like in GLSL making the world of visual possiblities for rat_game gaining a new horizon.

Fig. 1: My IDE showing of the dozens of files and thousands of lines of code

Art

So I was looking for a gif of an earthbound background for reference and I kinda ended up scrolling through the google images recommended picture, it was all mock-up- and fan art of earthbound fights an seeing so many of those I couldn’t help but be very conscious of the least common denominator of all of them and I kinda felt like my vision for the rat_game was... very much also that. Obviously earthbound is a huge inspiration but I’ve tried with both the story and mechanics to not just be an earthbound romhack. That also means not looking like one visually though so I made the decision that I don’t just want static sprites of enemies sit in front of an often-recycled background. Instead I think I will aim to give each enemy encounter it’s own unique background, for example a spider enemy could have a giant net in the background or maybe there’s even an enemy that is bigger than the entire screen so you only see parts of it. I will also try to consider more animation, at the very least I’ll have 3 sprites, one for undamaged, one for damaged and one for dead or knocked out. I don’t think I have the resources to animate every enemy myself but if I end up having enough money to hire an animator that is totally something that’s at the top of my wishlist. I know this is all kinda abstract but I’ve been creating demo textures for my engine so I have something to render and just doodling random shit I’ve come to be more and more comfortable to not just imitate earthbound sprites but do my own thing.

Fig. 2: A random spoder enemy I doodled in like 5mins but that I’m surprisingly attached to after staring at it for 2 weeks while debugging (no pun intended)

Story

I mentioned before that the story of the game is done, it’s all in my head and partially on paper but I still feel like I don’t have that good of a plan because all this story is mostly irrelevant for what happens in the demo which is the main objective right now. I’m currently thinking about giving the demo it’s own scenario kinda separate from the main story, here’s a quick elevator pitch for that:

Prof being a scientists he leads the party to an abandoned research lab. It’s build inside of an old resident-evil mansion but rather than being a functioning mansion it’s mostly just a ruin that proper lab-equipment has been build into. Imagine someone found an uncharted level and decided to not bother modifying it unless absolutely necessary so one wing might be falling apart while one room over is decked out in science equipment. This lab is where the source was created and by exploring it I have the chance to slowly feed enough exposition to create intrigue via scattered diary entries research papers and correspondence (I’m kidding, it’ll mostly be environmental story telling, remember that one of my design prerogative is to use the minimum amount of text necessary). A nice thing about this lab being the demo scenario is that I can go wild with the enemies, I need to stretch rat_games entire hidden tutorial fights into a 30min demo that still delivers on story and world-building so having the freedom to not care about strict theming like I do in the main games chapters is a huge help. Tl;dr: imagine the pokemon mansion on cinnabar island from red/blue/yellow but it actually has stuff happen rather than just having a few statues onto which mewtwos story is written with crayons.

So yeah, I’ve been keeping myself busy. I tend to listen to music when I work and I had it a few times now where i enter this “flow state”, kinda like when your jogging and serotonin and your brain stem takes over and your body just moves, instead I’m programming or drawing. I don’t mean to humble brag rather I’m trying to illustrate that I really, really enjoy doing this and if I had a wish I’d wish for 20k€ so I can just do this full time for 2 years but alas that will have to wait. 

[health-wellbeing]

A Guide to Supplements for Anxiety

To improve comprehension / improve concentration and mental resistance:

Alpha GPC (choline) - Stock of choline more and more important compared to lecithin. It is an incredible aid to piracetam, which depletes acetylcholine. Therefore, sufficient transmission will be maintained.

Aniracetam - Nootropic dietary improvement (memory/improvement/ improvement) that has great value when the reasoning is clouded by nervousness. Depersonalization regularly provokes a veil of spirit and, consequently, I saw it as an accommodating realization when one began to work/work. Also, it exhibited anxiolytic properties in research center mice due to dopamine activity. Take 2 - 3 tablets of 750 mg daily.

Centrophenoxine / Meclofenoxate - Acetylcholinesterase inhibitors decrease the separation of acetylcholine, a base transmitter not only with high capacity, but also in other (real) perspectives, but also intellectual procedures, such as memory. Furthermore, this improvement has been proposed to cause an increase in dopamine receptors through a compensatory system (preventing the arrival of dopamine resulting in the sharpening of the corresponding receptor locations - in this way, the impacts of dopamine receptors). the instrument may be felt after the suspension of an interminable organization). In general, an intriguing nootropic, which helps center and union new data in a long distance memory.

Piracetam - Another nootropic of the racetam family that improves understanding. It is a positive allosteric modulator of the glutamate NMDA receptor, which has been foundational for learning and memory. Dissociative drugs, such as ketamine, are adversaries of NMDA, which places them in the opposite direction of piracetam and since depersonalization is a type of separation, it may be useful. 1.2g - 12g is an average portion to go. Efficiency changes from person to person. You must find the right portion for you. Consolidates well with aniracetam, lecithin, AlphaGPC, and centrophenoxine because they work in cooperative energy.

Relief from exhaustion:

BCAA (Branched Chain Amino Acids) - Composed of 3 amino acids: Valin, Leucine, and Isoleucine. This improvement will discover its use not only in athletes who hope to increase their muscle tissue but also in those struggling against weakness and grief. Since amino acids are at the base of the amalgamation of proteins, which constitute just about every cell and structure of our body, it is not harmful to give you the true basic principle. Works incredibly to reduce physical exhaustion/weakness, which is natural for discouragement and nervousness.

Rhodiola Rosea - A plant-based improvement, which is thought to alter serotonin and dopamine levels depending on the state of mind of our mind through monoamine oxidase (gene separating synapses). This plant has been used for a very long time in the Siberian and Scandinavian countries to alleviate the pressure and sorrow. It's a safe bet that he has helped people in such sterile atmospheres and environments and his valuable properties will not be overlooked. The dynamic elements of this plant, rosavin, are part of the previously mentioned weakness of weakness by developing your psychological and physical endurance, making it an incredible guide to moroseness and exercise.

Relaxation:

GABA - A fundamental improvement in the management of nervousness, GABA in this structure of improvement, does not quickly cross the blood clot in the lower parts. In any case, it calms you in a roundabout way (the cautious system still needs to be explained, however, as its name suggests, it can be enabled with the GABA Inhibitor Emitter Directive). The part of Leo in our brain has an inhibitory work that is not beneficial, when there is no annoying nervousness and that many side effects occur frequently due to data overload. On more than one occasion a day, 750 mg should be enough (morning/evening before rest). This part may be exceeded, but in such cases, it could have incomprehensible consequences and neutralize you by increasing the tension.

Lecithin - It not only reduces the recurrence and severity of headaches but also requires you to adopt a generally calm outlook. I found it remarkable that the states of anxiety reported by many people, in addition to depersonalization, have decreased. The cholinergic framework deals with memory and learning among many other thoughtful and parasympathetic reactions. Therefore, lecithin, which is a precursor of acetylcholine, is such a psychological weakness. B. treat the breath of the brain.

L-Theanine - Green tea extract, which leads to intense relaxation, without fatigue or excessive animation. In addition to its nootropic properties, it is also an excellent mental conditioner. 400-800 mg per day should take responsibility.

Improvement without noticeable sedation/stimulation:

Vitamin B - It has been shown that the unlimited supply of nutrient B complex B alleviates commercial concerns, regardless of the restriction of disorder and discouragement. Due to the high bioavailability, I recommend the use of the sublingual structure, if available. It is difficult to overdose B nutrients because they are soluble in water. So do not hesitate to consolidate it in your daily diet.

Omega 3-6 - Also known as fish oil, provides several benefits to patients with mental disorders because it reduces side effects, but also effectively prevents malignant growth, aggravation, and discouragement.

Magnesium - Deficiency can accelerate misery and tension, so you want to keep your legitimate values ​​secret. Magnesium is normally contained in sufficient amounts in green vegetables, but if you do not need help quickly, magnesium can serve as a portal for rest and flexibility.

Zinc - Zinc levels are important from time to time, and the zinc - copper fraction, which increasingly determines the essential abilities to maintain a healthy mindset, is important. Low zinc content: Copper content has been associated with a chemical imbalance and increased prevalence of aggressive behavior. Also, zinc has been differentiated into certain neurons (explicitly in synaptic vesicles) where it can support psychological abilities.

Although improvements in tension can be extremely helpful, they are by no means the only plausibility, and this is not the best approach as opposed to methods such as workout, contemplation, introductory treatment, etc. Think of improvements as a factor of better psychological health. Well-being and, for the greatest impact, their use is combined with various techniques to reduce stress.

Believe me, it makes a difference!