#this and the other sets took me long to finish bc having a thesis to work on is not enough but i got food poisoning so :D | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

peach-pops · 4 years ago

Note

Hello, I am in the middle of an incredibly difficult semi immersion program(semi bc covid has it online)it’s been incredibly mentally exhausting.I am like minutes away from tears at any moment and would love some reassurance.i do see that requests are open.If you have a moment could you write a fic where perhaps Kuroo or Tsukishima are reassuring you that you are doing enough and that you are enough. Perhaps finding you in your room surrounded by your work. Sorry to bother you have a nice day

I’m sorry you’re going through a lot :( I know school is so emotionally/physically draining but I swear you will get through this program in one piece! I believe in you! My best advice is always just to take a step back, even if it’s more a few minutes, to just lay down, listen to music, shower, or stretch. It never cures me 100% but sometimes, even stretching helps me .001% more.

This also felt very self indulgent because my first summer term just ended and I cried so much. No shame!

Tsukishima Comforting his Stressed S/O

In your whole educational career, you had never felt this type of distress before. School was meant to be challenging but at this point, you were more overwhelmed and you were sure you were close to losing your sanity.

The deadlines on your whiteboard calendar were painful reminders on how far you were behind and even after you had flipped your calendar around so you wouldn’t be reminded of it, your laptop kept sending notifications from your classmates asking if anyone had finished taking the notes and what chapters they were supposed to read for the week.

You had already pulled two all-nighters and even though you were halfway through your fourth cup of coffee, you knew you couldn’t hang in much longer. Nonetheless, you had deadlines to make so you continued on with your work tiredly.

Your phone rang through your room and you turned your head to look at where the sound was coming from but your room, which was littered with a year's worth of coursework and textbooks, was scattered across your bed and your carpet.

You knew it was somewhere within the rubble of hell but you moved your eyes back to your screen. You had guessed that it was Tsukishima since you had explicitly muted everyone else in your contacts beside your boyfriend but you figured if it was important enough, he would call again.

A few minutes later, you could hear the front door to your house opening and a pair of footsteps walking towards your door. By the sound of bare feet hitting the floor, you could tell right away who it was yet you kept your eyes on your screen, trying to make sense of whatever you had been writing for the past ten minutes.

Tsukishima pushed open your door, causing a tide of papers to push towards the side of your bed. His eyes scanned over your room and he carefully looked at you as you slumped over your desk. He knew you could handle stress fairly well but this was a different story.

You looked like you had gone to hell and back, your hair disheveled and your eyes were almost bloodshot as if you had been crying. Just from watching you, he knew you needed a break but at the same time, he felt like he had to tread carefully.

“ It smells like death in here, when was the last time you showered?” Tsukishima asked as he wrinkled his nose at how your room had looked like a cyclone had haphazardly rushed into your bedroom.

“ Mhm,” You hummed, half-listening as Tsuki closed your bedroom door behind him and carefully stepped along your floor,” watch the floor.”

He made sure not to step on any of your coursework that was spread out but it was difficult since he couldn’t even see a square centimeter of any bare space along the floor.

He made his way over to you and stood over your shoulder, squinting down at your screen as you continued to type your thesis.

“ I think you should take a break, when was the last time you slept?” Tsuki asked as he eyed the empty mugs of coffee beside your desk.

You looked at the clock that was perched up beside a photo frame of you embracing Tsukishima during a Christmas party and moved your eyes back to the screen,” About sixty hours ago.”

“ You idiot, you’re gonna drop dead if you don’t rest,” Tsuki said plainly as he shook his head at you,” lets nap together and then after, you can get back to work.”

You rubbed your tired eyes as you rested against the palm of your hand. You didn’t know why your eyes were leaking with tears but you wiped them away and closed your eyes,” I can’t. I need to finish this thesis by tomorrow and I still have so much to do.”

“ It will be there when you get back.”

“ I can’t stop. You don’t understand how important this paper is for my overall grade! I’ve been pouring my blood, sweat, and tears into this class and I’m still struggling to even make the deadlines! I don’t think I’m smart enough to-”

Tsukishima grabbed the top of your chair and spun you around so you could face him since it was the only way you could tear your eyes off your laptop screen. Tsuki kneeled down so he was eye level with you, starring back at your tired eyes.

He knew you were hardly ever this stubborn with him but even so, he wasn’t going to give you a pass and let you bash yourself over your own abilities.

“ You and I both know you’re smart enough, why would you say something like that? You can’t beat yourself up over these stupid classes, I won’t let you. You’re acting like this cause you’re overworking yourself Y/N, take a break.”

“ I told you I can’t-”

“ For me. Can you please take a break for me?” Tsuki sighed as you stared straight back at him.

Tsuki wasn’t known to ever be outwardly caring towards you but he had his own ways in showing you that he always worried about you. You took one last look over your shoulder at the thesis you still had to type and back at your boyfriend before nodding,” Just a small break.”

“ Okay, a small break,” Tsuki said as he rested his hand against the back of your head to pull you in closer so he could kiss your forehead,” go shower first. I don’t want to cuddle with you when you smell like shit.”

“ Gee thanks, you sure know how to cheer me up,” You grumbled, even though your eyes had nothing but relief behind them.

Once you stepped into the shower, you closed your eyes and let the hot water pour down your body, your muscles relaxing into the steam. All you could think about as you scrubbed your hair and body with soap was how drained you were, mentally and physically.

You had spent almost fifteen minutes in the shower before you remembered you had Tsuki waiting for you in the other room. After you finished showering and changed into a clean set of pajamas, you quietly walked back into your room and opened the door to find all of your papers and books that were scattered across your floor put away neatly to the side of your dresser.

The mugs of coffee and your trash from all of the instant noodles you had been eating for the past two days were gone and your bed was clear of any signs of coursework. The only thing on your bed was your bedsheets and your boyfriend, who was already laying down on one side of the bed.

Tsuki looked up from his phone and smirked up at you,” Sure took you a long time to wash off the smell huh?”

“ Oh my god Kei, I didn’t even smell that bad,” You huffed as you pulled the blankets back and sank into your mattress,” but thank you for coming over and cleaning up for me. You’re the best boyfriend in the world.”

“ Tell me something I don’t know,” You clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth in annoyance but Tsuki only chuckled softly,” I’m just teasing you big baby, I’m glad I could help...I hate it when you overwork yourself as if you need to prove something to everyone else.”

You pulled the blankets up to your chin and turned to face him as he took off his glasses and rested them against your nightstand,” I know you’re right but it’s so overwhelming. I guess it’s just easy for me to think I’m not enough when everyone else in the class is doing so well while I’m falling behind.”

Tsuki wrapped his hand around your back and pulled you into his chest, inhaling the familiar scent of your shampoo. He sympathized with you, he truly did. He wasn’t a stranger to feel like he was never enough or doing enough to get through life but seeing someone he cared about go through the same thing only hurt him more.

“ Stop thinking like that. You’re more than capable and you’re the smartest person I know, there’s no need to feel like you’re not enough because you’re more than that. You’ll always be enough,” Tsuki said as if he had been preparing that line just for you,” we can talk more later but just go to bed...I’m tired too.”

You could feel yourself already lulling to sleep and as you tried to fight against it, Tsuki made it only harder for you by massaging the back of your head with his fingers. You sighed deeply into his chest and rubbed your cheek against his shirt, succumbing to his touch,” I love you.”

“ I love you too.”

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langdvnshepherd · 6 years ago

Text

Good For You ~ Epilogue (Duncan Shepherd x fem!reader)

PART ONE ~ PART TWO ~ PART THREE ~ PART FOUR

MASTERLIST

Summary: You’re a broke ass college student whose one night stand with the infamous Duncan Shepherd leads to the development of a rather interesting relationship between the two of you.

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: sugar daddy!Duncan, fem!reader, smut, daddy kink, voyeurism (sort of? not really but), lost of fluff hehe

A/N: Surprise bitch, I bet you thought you’d seen the last of sugar daddy!Duncan and Y/N 😏. Since everyone seemed to be feelin some type of way that Part 4 was the last part, I figured I’d finish them off with a cute lil sum sum bc why the hell not lmao. This also kinda fits in line with it being finals szn, so for all my thotties still in school, enjoy!! Also I barely proofread this pls forgive me. Once again, thanks for all of the kind words about my writing, it means the world to be as always!

A set of keys rattling on the other side of Duncan’s apartment door indicated her arrival. They jangled rapidly, as if getting inside was of utmost importance. Duncan knew exactly who it was, as only two other people in the world had a key to his place. Annette, whom he’d only recently just reconciled with after the earth-shattering news that revealed she wasn’t actually his mother, had taken off to Mexico earlier that week to tend to international ties with The Shepherd Freedom Foundation, so it wasn’t her. Which led him to believe that only other person, a person he’d been thinking an awful lot about lately, could possibly be making their way into his apartment...

“I DID IT!” you yelled as you bolted through the front door of Duncan’s, well yours and Duncan’s, apartment. Probably a little too loud for his neighbor’s liking, but you were too excited to give a shit. Paying no mind to behave like a civilized human being, you dropped everything at the entryway and jumped over the back of the quilted leather sofa to plummet into Duncan’s lap; textbooks, designer bag, and the obnoxiously large keyring to your new Audi (an anniversary present from Duncan), all clanking to the floor in one large pile.

Duncan grunted in response, the weight of you crashing on top of him so suddenly knocked the breath out of him. His face quickly became consumed by a genuine, ear-to-ear smile as he remembered what you had set off to do this morning.

“I knew you would,” he stated matter-of-factly as his arms wrapped securely and comfortably around your waist, his lips reaching over to plant a quick kiss on your lips before you told him all about the day you’d just had.

In the years that the two of you actually spent together as a couple, you’d come to realize many things about the infamous Duncan Shepherd. One being that he loved physical contact. He wasn’t quick to expose that side of himself back when he was considered strictly as your sugar daddy, but that passing of time had made him soft. He loved touches. Even little touches like pressing his knee against yours under the table during boring gala dinners, or rubbing small circles on the underside of your ass while his head was between your legs. Duncan lacing his arms around you had become customary, part of your daily routine when either of you came home for the night.

“The department loved my thesis. They said my research was impeccable, and that there wasn’t a single thing I could have done to improve it. I’m set to graduate in two weeks!” you gloated, and you damn well reserved the right to.

For the past 3 years, you’d been working on your thesis for graduate school, and it just about took every ounce of sanity you had left. You couldn’t count the number of days and nights you’d spent huddled over a textbook or sobbing into your laptop because your numbers weren’t coming out right or you felt like your argument was pointless. But Duncan was there for you through it all. He saw how drained you were for months on end, and wanted to make sure he was doing everything he could. You quit your job, finally giving into Duncan’s pleads to let him cover your expenses full time. You’d even been living with him for just over a year now, not counting the many, unofficial months prior when a large collection of your bras and underwear had mysteriously taken over drawers of Duncan’s dresser. Your roommate was pissed after finding out you were abandoning her to move in with your boyfriend, but she quickly retracted her remarks upon realizing she’d be able to visit Duncan’s lavish apartment whenever she pleased.

“So I’m guessing my little stress reliever really helped take the edge off for your presentation then, hmm?” he snidely remarked, referring to last night, when his fingers worked you over the edge repeatedly. You’d been up all night worrying, sleep being the furthest thing from your mind. Duncan begged and pleaded for you to come to bed, but you refused. Too many last minute diagrams to perfect and statistics to memorize before your thesis defense the next morning. He’d somehow managed to coax you into the satin of his sheets with the promise of a good night’s sleep. There was no teasing, no holding back, just Duncan making you feel so incredibly good, knocking you into a deep slumber in no time.

“I just got my fucking master’s degree, and you want to try to make this about yourself?” you sarcastically jabbed, playfully shoving Duncan’s shoulders against the back of the couch.

He pretended to be hurt, unwinding one arm from your waist to dramatically massage the skin where you’d pushed him.

“I’m teasing, dove. You wanna go out? I’m feeling like this calls for a celebration. We can go to that new seafood restaurant on Pennsylvania Avenue. You have to have a reservation, but I could probably get us in.”

“Can we just stay in? I’ve been standing in these heels for hours and I really don’t feel like talking to anyone else,” you muttered while tucking your head into the crook of his neck, the exhaustion evident in your body language.

“Of course,” he replied, resting his chin on the top of your head while brushing his fingertips absentmindedly across your forearm. “I can call in something. What are you in the mood for? Sushi? Thai?”

“Can we order pizza from that place by my old apartment?” you asked, a cheeky grin creeping its way onto your face. You knew damn well the reaction that suggestion would get out of him. You’d gotten Duncan to eat there once, but only once. After some begging on your part, Duncan agreed to give it a shot. His upbringing consisted of caviar and charcuteries, meaning greasy, $2 a slice pizza automatically made his stomach churn. He ate it, but not without complaining the entire time. Despite growing accustomed to Duncan’s ways after being with him for so long, you still yearned for that shitty, cheesy, pumped-full-of-chemicals pizza that had comforted you on many drunken nights while walking back to your old apartment.

Duncan pulled back from where he was cuddled into you to reveal the most genuine, stink face you had ever seen. His lips were pressed together firmly and turned down in disgust and his eyes were crinkled at the corners. Clearly not amused.

“You’re joking, right?”

“Serious as a heart attack, handsome,” you rattled your fingertips against his peck for emphasis, peering up at him with doe eyes you knew he couldn’t resist.

He paused for a moment longer, praying you’d suggest something, anything, else besides that stupid fucking pizza he hated so much. He honestly didn’t see how people could stomach food like that, but he wasn’t going to crush your spirits on your special day.

Realizing you weren’t budging on your wishes, he audibly groaned.

“You’re lucky I have a hard time saying no to you. You know that, right?”

“As if you ever would, Donut.”

He suppressed a chuckle at the nickname you’d recently picked given him, still trying to seem annoyed.

“Whatever, brat.” He snorted effortlessly flicked your legs off of his lap, sauntering towards the kitchen to grab his phone and place an order for what he considered the worst meal on the planet.

Somewhere along the line, the pizza had long been forgotten. Maybe it was when you’d purposely reached over Duncan to grab the tv remote, making sure he got an eyeful of your breasts as you moved. Or maybe it was when you’d kissed him to shut him up amidst his incessant bitching about how the pizza tasted like it had been left out in the hot sun for 3 days. However it went down, you’d found yourself straddled across Duncan’s lap, his hands clutched tightly at your waist, occasionally roaming down to your ass to grind you against his hardening cock.

You felt your core pulsing beneath you as Duncan ground his hips against yours, arousal pooling at your entrance. As old as Duncan was, he was always in the mood, ready to take you whenever and wherever. He had situated his body so that his legs were propped up on the cushions and his back was leaning against the stiff armrest, where he was able to hold your body as close to his as possible with ease. You were lost in the moment, not thinking of anything or anyone else except the way Duncan was making you feel. Once you were able to pry Duncan’s hands from of your ass, you withdrew your lips from his with a pop. Sliding down his body, you held eye contact with him as you reached for the buckle on his belt, eyes blown with desire. Duncan had this look on his face like he was contemplating doing something or saying something, but he certainly didn’t want you to stop either. He let you undo his belt buckle and unzip his trousers, making one less layer between you and his aching cock. You pressed your lips over the cotton of his boxers, making him groan as you mouthed at his erection that was begging to be set free. Just as you reached for the waistband of his boxers, Duncan gripped you by your wrists. “What? Are you okay?” you stopped suddenly. Duncan was never one to put things on hold, especially when your pretty, little lips were mere inches away from where he wanted you most. “Put your shoes on, I need to show you something.” “You’re joking, right?” you asked, sitting up from your place between his legs.

“Serious as a heart attack, angel,” he responded, batting his eyelashes and speaking in a sing-song voice, clearly mocking your words from earlier on in the evening.

“Come on, let’s get in the car.”

Glancing down at the bulge in boxers, you gave him one last, “Are you sure you don’t want me to take care of this first?” look. He simply smiled in return, taking your hand in his to help you up from the couch.

The car ride lasted for what felt like an eternity, largely due to the fact that Duncan had used one of the emergency ties he kept in his backseat to blindfold you, making you completely unaware of where he was taking you. You begged and pleaded for Duncan to tell you where you were going, but he wouldn’t budge. It was a surprise, he insisted.

“Is it a dog?”

“Jesus, no.”

“A cat?”

“Absolutely not, Y/N.”

“A bird?”

“Why would I blindfold you to take you to get a fucking bird?”

“I don’t know, Dunc? Why did you throw me in your Bentley and blindfold me at 11 o’clock at night anyway, hmm?

“Will you just drop it? You’ll see when we get there.” He was annoyed but the tone of voice let you know he was still entertained by your whining. You knew he was smirking despite not being able to see anything but the darkness that the blindfold allowed.

“Fine, but a dog would still be nice.”

The rest of the way consisted of silence; the whirring of the engine and the breeze of the air conditioner being the only sounds filling the confines of Duncan’s car. You tugged at the tie around your eyes, trying to stealthily catch a glimpse of a highway sign that would even slightly indicate where you were headed. He caught you every time, scolding you and sarcastically threatening to drop you off on the side of the road if you tried it again.

Suddenly, you felt Duncan applying pressure to the brakes, the car slightly jerking as he shifted the gear to park. Finally. Whatever Duncan was planning was about to be unveiled.

Your hand wrapped around the back of the tie, attempting to undo the knot and take in your surroundings. Duncan was quicker, swatting your hands away before you could slip the fabric away from your eyes.

“Not yet. I’ll tell you when you can look.”

Exhaustingly, you threw your head back into the headrest of the seat with a sigh.

“Will you stop being dramatic? We’ll be inside in like 10 seconds.” You couldn’t see him, but you knew his eyes were rolled so far back into his head they might have fallen out.

You heard the click of the door handle, and felt Duncan’s hand on your elbow, prompting you to step out of his car. Your shoes scraped against pavement, meaning he hadn’t driven you into the middle of the woods to kill you. What a relief.

He guided your steps with his fingers laced in yours, oddly soothing you as your anxiety was climbing at not having any idea where you could possibly be. The air outside was crisp, slightly chilly due to the time of night. The only noise coming from outside was the continuous chirping of crickets and other critters alike. Wherever you were, it was secluded.

“Okay, stay right there. Don’t move.” Duncan commanded, patting you once on the shoulder before leaving your side.

You heard four electronic pings and the whoosh of a door swinging open like he was hitting buttons on a keypad. Where the fuck were you?

Duncan’s hands were back on your arms in a moment’s notice, guiding you over the threshold of the door he had just opened.

“Watch your step.”

Immediately, the smell of fresh wood and chemicals filled your nostrils. Yours and Duncan’s steps echoed loudly throughout the space as he continued to lead you; the harmony of the various sounds of the outdoors no longer present.

“You ready?” Duncan asked, speaking low into your ear, the stubble of his beard just barely ghosting over the nape of your neck.

“Been ready since you blindfolded me an hour ago, Dunc.” you fired back.

Duncan was too tired to comment on any more of your whining, he just chuckled lightly in response, pressing a kiss to your temple over the thick material of the tie.

Antagonizingly slow, his fingers worked at the knot. He knew what he was doing, pissing you off even more by dragging it out. Duncan could feel the way you froze in your spot, your chest barely moved with each breath and your hands were frozen at your side; indicating your skyrocketing anxiety. He was nervous too, but you weren’t currently in the position to be able to notice the way his heart looked like it was going to beat out of his chest.

The tie fell from your eyes, ribboning to the ground and pooling around your feet. And then you saw it.

The ceilings had to have been at least twenty feet high. The walls were stark white, the one at the far end covered almost entirely with a seamless, glass window. There was a grand staircase in the middle, leading to a breezeway that overlooked the space you were currently standing in. You put it together. You were in a house, and a fucking huge one at that.

Nothing occupied the space. No furniture, no art hanging on the wall, not a single indication that anyone even lived here. It was empty.

“Duncan, where are we?” you asked, too entranced by your surroundings to turn around and look at him as you spoke.

He came around to your side, wrapping one arm around your shoulder and pulling you into him.

“Home.”

You broke away from his hold to look directly into his eyes, unconvinced that he’d just said what you thought you heard.

“What?” it came out as barely a whisper.

Duncan nudged his head forwards, prompting you to follow him. He paced himself, creeping along against the marble tile. You were further into the house now, catching new details you weren’t able to see from the front door. No words were spoken, just Duncan steering you throughout the first floor with his hands crossed behind his back. There was a kitchen, a kitchen at least three times bigger than the one in Duncan’s apartment with a double oven and appliances that looked far too advanced than anything you’d ever seen. Connected to the space was what would be a dining room, big enough for a table that could seat at least twelve. Duncan stopped just as were standing in front of the ginormous, granite island resting in the center of the kitchen.

“You made a comment a couple months back,” Duncan began, turning to face you.

“Something about how my closet was getting cramped because of how many pairs of shoes we both had. It got me thinking. I’m older now. Got a good head on my shoulders. I‘ve got you. Why am I still living in an apartment like a twenty-something bachelor? So I started looking at houses. And then I found this one. I was gonna wait until the renovations were done before I told you. There’s still a couple more things they need to do upstairs and some electrical work here and there, but other than that it’s basically finished. You looked really happy tonight, and it made me not want to wait any longer so....here we are. Happy graduation, I guess.”

You felt a warm tear roll down your cheek, too busy staring at Duncan to register the buildup in your tear ducts. He looked at you like he always did when he professed his feelings to you, with genuine, whole-hearted, adoration. With love.

“This is our house?”

“This is our house.,” Duncan confirmed, a confident smile on his face.

“I even made them put in a bigger tub ‘cause I know important bathtime is to you. And the closet is extra roomy. But if it’s not enough, you can just use one of the many spare rooms for all of your things. I know I tend to go a bit-overboard-with my gift-giving.”

A silent laugh escaped your chest, huffs of air expelling from your mouth each time.

“Duncan Shepherd, I love you.”

“And I love you, Y/N Y/LN. I can’t wait to live here with you.”

He brought you in for a kiss, cupping your cheeks in both hands as his lips melted into yours. You broke away in a smile, shifting your way out of Duncan’s grasp to look once more at what looked like the abyss that you would soon call home.

“Can you see it?” Duncan spoke up as your eyes wondered. “A giant sectional back by that room we first saw when we walked in, a dining room table over there. Black obviously. Maybe some plants over by the windows.”

And you could. You could see it. Duncan’s weird art hanging on the walls in the entryway, both of your cars parked side by side in the driveway you assumed was wide enough to back a bus into given what you were already looking at. It already felt like home, despite being an empty shell of one.

In your trance, you’d seemed to have missed when Duncan walked up behind you, pressing his chest against your back. His hands had started at your waist; rubbing soft, soothing circles against your hips bones. Inch by inch, he ever so slowly trailed his fingers up your body towards your chest, where they were now purchased just below the swell of your breasts.

“I can see you in here,” Duncan started, his hot breath fanning over your collarbones, littering your skin with goosebumps. “Standing in this very spot. Making breakfast in your underwear. Those cute, little pancakes you like to make on Saturday mornings-”

“They’re crepes, Duncan. You know that.” you snickered, burrowing further into his arms and his touch.

He kissed the sweet spot along your jawline, knowing all too well the reaction he’d get out of you. A soft gasp blooming from your lips halted you from speaking any longer. You were suddenly reminded of where you left off back at Duncan’s apartment. Already feeling the stirring in your abdomen at the thought.

Duncan leaned forward with you still in his grasp, laying his elbows flush with the granite slab of the island. He moved his kisses from your neck to your shoulders, and then to your back just at the top of your spine.

“Do we have neighbors?” you questioned, certain that anyone could see the two of you through the ginormous window. The lights were on and the house was empty, meaning your bodies stuck out like sore thumbs. It wouldn’t take a genius to catch onto what was happening. You already knew where this was going, especially since you could feel Duncan hardening against the backside of your thigh.

“Not yet. They’re building another house down the street, but even then it’s still about a quarter of a mile away,” he answered in between pressing kisses on your jugular. “Plus trees. And hedges. No one can see us, babe.”

“Good, because I need you to fuck me. Right now.”

In seconds you felt the bone-chilling cold from the stone of the kitchen island pressed against your cheek. Duncan pressed you down on your stomach to lay as flat as you could on the granite, reinforcing you with his toned arm. Your arms splayed out at your sides, fingers spaced out pushing yourself down even further.

Duncan’s other hand reached down to the hem of your dress, bunching the fabric up around your waist and resting it on your back. The warmth of his fingers caressed your ass before he withdrew them briefly to unzip his own trousers. As he freed his leaking cock from his boxers, you felt the head brush just slightly against your skin, beadlets of precum spreading across your cheeks. Duncan swiftly tugged your panties to the side, desperate to feel you against his digits.

He started at your entrance, gathering the wetness seeping from your core with his fingertips. In slow, calculated patterns, he circles his way up to your clit, the contact making you shiver. A small moan fell from your lips, finally getting the action you sought out hours ago at dinner.

“I’ve barely touched you and you’re already dripping. Tell me, who is the only one that do this to you?” he asked in fake perplexion.

“You do,” you’d somehow been able to muster throughout the sea of pleasure provided to you by Duncan and his long, skillful fingers.

“It’s all for you. Every time, daddy.” you grinned against the coldness of the granite.

Duncan was content with your answer, as a low groan rumbled from his chest in response. He leaned forward once more, so his lips brushed the shell of your ear and his chest molded into your back.

“You ready for me, love?”

“Mhmm,” was all you’d managed to get out.

His fingers were replaced with the tip of his cock, swirling his member along your cunt to prepare himself for the stretch. He pressed his fingers into you once more, using the collected slick to pump himself a few times before aligning himself at your entrance.

Duncan pressed the small of your back down further against the granite, making your ass jut out instinctively to give him easier access to your dripping core. Tantalizingly slow, he pushed himself into you, savoring every inch of your walls that clenched around him with urgency. You were both breathing heavily, the melting of your bodies consuming every nerve.

Once he was fully seated inside of you, he stalled, looking down at your frame. The girl he’d managed to rope back in time after time. No matter how much he knew he didn’t deserve someone as loyal and trustworthy as you, you came back. Every time. Every night. To him. He never thought he’d find himself in this position. In his new house, with whom he was convinced was the love of his life, sprawled out on his kitchen counter at his mercy.

He leaned in once more to press a tiny, close-mouthed kiss to the back of your head before pulling himself halfway out of your drenched cunt, only to forcefully thrust himself back in again.

It felt like you had been lying there for hours. You were almost certain you’d have a dent in your cheek for a week due to how hard the side of your head was pressed into the kitchen island. Duncan ruthlessly pounded into you from behind, your cheek rutting against the granite with every slam of his hips while cries escaped from your lips. Your fingers grasped for anything, everything. He had one hand on your waist and the other wrapped almost too-tightly around the back of your neck to keep you in place, so you opted for gripping the lip of the counter as best as you could. But pearls of sweat coated your entire body, making it hard to hold onto anything for too long.

The sounds of squelching skin on skin echoed obscenely throughout the empty house. It was borderline blasphemous. Chants of, “Oh my god,” “Don’t stop,” “You feel so good,” and plenty of profanities were peppered into the mix, only adding to the indecency of the situation.

It took some time, but you finally began feeling that familiar tingle building up inside of you, causing another rush of arousal to flow effortlessly out of your cunt. It became overbearing after a while, your desperate need to milk Duncan’s cock for all that it was worth overcoming your very existence. You chased after your release by rolling your hips backward, working in sync with Duncan to fuck you deeper and harder.

“Someone’s eager. Am I not giving you enough, little girl?” Duncan mocked through heavy breaths.

“Just go faster, please,” you begged, fighting to let pleasure take over, but you weren’t quite there yet.

“Please what? Use your manners.”

“Please, daddy.”

Duncan loosened his grip at your waist, snaking his hand around and beneath you. You felt the pads of his fingers swirl lightly over the fabric of your panties that still covered your clit, all while he continued to thrust his hips into your backside. With each cycle around your bud, he increased his pressure just slightly, drawing out moan after moan from you. The sounds falling from your lips triggered moans of his own.

When he finally slipped his hand through the front of your panties, you were overtaken by a swell of euphoria, just teetering over the edge. You abandoned your other senses, focusing solely on Duncan and the way he was working you open with his cock and now his fingers. Your eyes were screwed shut, hearing going in and out, fingers grasping for purchase around the corner of the island.

“What about now? Is daddy giving you enough now?”

You couldn’t speak. Your mouth hung open, but no sound came out.

“No? Guess I’ll have to pick up the pace then.”

The feeling of Duncan vigourously massaging your swollen clit between his two fingers was enough to trigger your release. You came with a shaky scream, trembling as Duncan continued to fuck himself into you through your orgasm despite the fact that he was faltering himself. The hairs on your arms stood upright, your skin quickly becoming oversensitive to his touch.

Duncan’s hips sputtered, stilling completely as he allowed for his own release. His moans went up an octave, a sign you’d grown accustomed to recognizing as a tell-tale indicator that he was cumming. You felt his warm seed spilling deep inside of you, coating your walls as he gave your cunt a few extra pumps with his cock before slipping out of you.

He rested his chin on your shoulder, lifting you from the island and winding his arms around your waist. You could feel the dampness of Duncan’s forehead on your neck, it was cool on your fevered skin.

“Did you do that on purpose?” you asked, chuckling as you turned in his arms to face him.

Duncan smirked back at you, satisfied with your current state. You had a flat, bright red mark across your cheek from being thrown against the counter, the rest of your face flushed with an adorable, pink heat.

“Did I do what purpose?” he responded, feigning ignorance.

“Drag me all the way out here just to fuck me as loud as you wanted so no one would hear?”

His grin only grew wider, you’d caught onto his little game. He lifted you onto the island, placing you gently on the granite. Through the corner of his eye, he caught his cum dribbling down your thighs. Quickly, he caught the stream of milky, white seed on his pointer and middle fingers. He raised them to your mouth, pulling your bottom lip out just slightly with his other hand. You accepted them without hesitation, running your tongue along every centimeter of his digits. As you removed him from your mouth with a satisfied pop, he answered.

“It worked, didn’t it?”

You shook your head and laughed once more at his cockiness, grabbing him tighter and lying your head against his chest.

“I did, Donut. It surely did.”

As you stood in Duncan’s arms with your head to the side, you could just barely make out a swimming pool in the backyard beyond the windows of the dining room. It was still surrounded by dirt, meaning it wasn’t quite complete. Visions danced in your head at the memories that would be made beyond those french doors.

You couldn’t wait for this place to be finished. You were ready to spend the rest of your life here with the man you’d once thought you’d never see again. The man that did exactly as he’d promised:

He’d taken care of you. And he always would.

Tagging:

@avesatanormalpeoplescareme @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @venusxxlangdon @ccodyfern @michaellangdong@michael-langdon-owns-my-soul @wroteclassicaly @omg-hellgirl@aveiangdon @belusima @readsalot73 @americanhorrorstudies@langdonsdemon @ticklish-leafy-plant @michaelfuckinglangdon@fpsjacket @mother-tequila @gold-dragon-slayer @langdonshell @coloursunlimited

#duncan shepherd x reader #duncan shepherd #duncan shepherd smut #michael langdon x reader #jim mason x reader #hoc #ahs #mine #my writing

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rogertaylors-lipgloss · 5 years ago

Text

Love & Lasagna- Chapter One

I know I have a couple of requests waiting but those are almost finished and should be up in the next few days. I’ve had a lot going on since school let out and I got really behind in my writing. BUT I hope you guys enjoy this new series, and should be updating the others very soon. Let me know if you’d like to be added to this taglist or to my permanent taglist.

This is a Prof!Gwilym x Reader.

Warnings: 18+, smut, maybe some cursing, forbidden romance, unprotected sex (no glove no love, peeps)

Word Count: 4.5k+ (I can’t check for sure bc Word has decided to glitch)

It was a rainy Wednesday afternoon. Y/N tapped the end of her pencil on the table, barely paying attention to the words drifting from the professor’s lips. After a particularly grueling shift the night before at the local café she worked at, she found it increasingly difficult to stay awake. This was her favorite part of the day, her class with Dr. Lee. She was his graduate assistant, and although the freshmen in World History 101 could be a little tiresome, she loved her job. What she loved even more, however, was how close she had become to Dr. Lee. He was British and had moved to the U.S. to teach at the university she had been at since undergrad. His face was striking, with a subtly pronounced jawline covered in light stubble, and his deep, hazy blue eyes were set off by his neatly coifed brown hair. Today, his tall, slender (yet still muscular) frame was accentuated by a crisp white button-down tucked into a perfectly tailored pair of tan chinos. Even in her drowsy state, Y/N swooned internally.

Though there was always an air of professionalism between the two, she couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to kiss him. She shook the thought out of her head. He may not be her professor anymore, but he was still her superior. Not to mention he was on the committee overseeing her thesis. But she couldn’t help be remember fondly the first time they graded exams together.

-----

She had been in her office after hours attempting to grade some of the 100+ papers she had stacked neatly in front of her. Gwilym had been on his way out when he heard the faint sounds of music coming from down the hall. He hadn’t expected to find you, but there you were. She startled at the sound of him knocking on the door. “What are you still doing here?”

“Uh, well, some hard-ass left a giant stack of papers here for me, so…” Gwilym laughed and her face broke into a wide, toothy smile.

“I’m sure he- or she-“ Y/N giggled. “- meant well. Maybe I could be of some assistance?”

“Well, I mean, considering you’re the hard-ass in question, I figure that would be the least you could do. Your office or mine?”

Gwilym glanced around at the small, cramped space. “Mine. Definitely”

He picked up the stack of papers while she slung her backpack over her shoulder. After locking the door, she followed him down the hallway to his office. Since he was one of the more recent professors to join the history department, he had also been stuck with a drab basement office. Y/N had been in his office many times. It was the same size as the TA office she shared, but with only one desk it was significantly more spacious. After settling into a pair of chairs, Y/N and Gwil settled in for a long night of grading. They sat in comfortable silence, interrupted every so often by exchanging jokes about some of the responses the students had left on their exams. “This one really thought Henry VIII broke with the church to marry Elizabeth I, his daughter!” The two laughed heartily and a conversation about the prevalence of royal incest ensued. The night continued on this way until Y/N had some trouble making out one of the written responses.

“Dr. Lee- “

“Gwilym.” He corrected.

“Right. Gwilym. Can you make this out by any chance? This one must think they’re a doctor.” Y/N walked over to where he was sitting, and leaned over his shoulder, placing the stapled packet within his view. His breath hitched at how close she was. She noticed but interpreted it to mean that she was crossing a line. She cleared her throat and took a step back.

“Ah, so the question is ‘what was the name of the pope who excommunicated Henry VIII,’ and they appeared to have answered incorrectly. Unfortunately, ‘that one pope dude’ is not a sufficient answer.” They laughed together again, and he handed the paper back to her.

They sat there grading for another hour, Gwilym glancing at her every so often. Her soft, Y/S/C face was framed by stunning Y/H/C hair. He had noticed it before, but only now did fully take it in. Not only was she intelligent, but she was undeniably beautiful and had a sense of humor that perfectly matched his own. When they finally called it a night, she waved goodbye as they went their separate ways. He watched longingly as she walked away, relishing the subtle swaying of her hips. Little did he know that she had fallen asleep that night touching herself to the thought of him.

-----

Dr. Gwilym Lee glanced up at Y/N occasionally as he droned on. Y/N was a bright student. Typically attentive and engaging in class, he couldn’t help but wonder why she looked like she was going to pass out at any given moment. Sighing, he shut down the projector and dismissed the class. The other students quickly disappeared while Y/N collected her things, not noticing Dr. Lee striding towards her desk as she shoved her notebook into her bag.

“Y/N?” Her head snapped up, meeting his gaze as a deep blush rose to her cheeks. “Are you feeling quite yourself today?”

His accent never failed to make her knees weak, but she steeled herself and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ears. “I’m sorry Dr. Lee, I just had a late shift last night and my car wouldn’t start when I clocked out. I had to walk all the way back to my dorm and I had barely been asleep when some idiot pulled the fire alarm. By the time they let us back inside, I had to shower and get ready for my meeting with Dr. Barnett. I know that’s not an excuse, I won’t let it happen again.”

She was so frantic that Gwilym placed a calming hand on her shoulder. Y/N’s heart fluttered at his touch. “Don’t worry, Y/N. You aren’t in trouble.”

Letting out a sigh of relief, she felt visibly more at ease. “Thank you, Dr. Lee.”

Chuckling, Gwilym gave her shoulder a squeeze before letting his arm drop. “I’ve told you, Y/N. You can call me Gwil.”

“Right, okay. Gwil.” A smile crept across her face. She shifted her weight from foot to foot. Being this close to him made her nervous.

“Next time something like that happens, call me, yeah? I don’t live too far from campus and I’d rather lose a little sleep than have you walking alone at night, okay?” Her eyes widened, but she nodded.

“Do you have other classes today?” He looked at her inquisitively over the rim of his glasses. She shook her head. “Work?” She shook her head again. “Good,” he smiled. “Why don’t you try to go get a nap in, yeah? I had been hoping to discuss your thesis progress, do you think you’d be up to meeting me in my office later this afternoon? About 5-ish?”

“Sure thing, Dr.- I mean, Gwil. Sorry. I think I can manage that, Gwil.” He chuckled at her as she mentally chastised herself.

“Wonderful. I’ll see you then, just make sure you get some rest first.”

Y/N made her way back to her dorm room, but instead of going inside to sleep, she was confronted with a ribbon tied to the door handle. Shit, she thought. The ribbon was the code she and her roommate, Georgie, had decided on to signify when they had a “companion.” Unfortunately for Y/N, Georgie had been using this code at least three times a week. She was still in her undergrad, and although she was always friendly, Y/N couldn’t help but wish she had forked out the extra cash for a single dorm. Or an apartment, she thought. Georgie was only 19, and at 24, Y/N felt a bit out of touch with the culture of sex and partying that Georgie had bought into.

Sighing, Y/N walked back across campus to the building that housed the history department. If she couldn’t sleep in her own bed, maybe she could at least find respite in the TA office. It was small and she shared it with about three other TAs. The office was tucked away, out of sight in the cold, dank basement, with four desks crammed tightly inside. She breathed a sigh of relief when she found it empty, the other assistants out for the day. Y/N flicked off the main light and turned on the small lamp she kept on her desk. Her desk was tucked away in the corner and covered with books for her thesis. Pushing the books to the side, she zipped up her hoodie and laid her head down on the desk. She had just started to doze off when she heard the door open.

“Y/N? I thought I told you to go home and sleep?” Y/N peered up at Gwilym, who stood in the doorway.

“You did. And I tried. Except my roommate was too busy not sleeping, if you catch my drift.”

Gwil’s cheeks flushed. “Ah, yes. Well, you should have texted me. I forgot I had to go to a departmental meeting this afternoon, so my apartment will be empty until later tonight. I could give you a key, if you’d like, that is.”

It was Y/N’s turn to blush. “Oh, you don’t have to do that. I’ll be quite alright- “

“Y/N, please. I insist.” Gwilym slid his spare off of his keyring and handed it over. Y/N nervously took it. He pulled a blank piece of paper out of the printer on one of the desks and scribbled something on it before handing it to Y/N. “This is my address. Like I said, it’s pretty close to campus.”

“Thank you, Gwilym.” He nodded at her before muttering goodbye and turning to leave.

-----

Y/N soon found herself standing in front of a small stone house, glancing back down at the scrap of paper to make sure she was in the right place. This is it. She walked up the pathway and unlocked the front door. Stepping inside, Y/N walked down the short hallway to the living room. The first thing she noticed was the books. The room was small, but with a cozy feel. There was a fireplace on the center of the back wall, with a leather couch and matching chair facing towards it. On the wall behind the couch, stood four tall bookshelves overflowing with books. Upon inspection, Y/N noted that they were predominantly history-related, with a few fictional classics thrown in. They were all meticulously organized by genre, then chronologically based on the period they covered. She chuckled to herself. Typical historian. It was how her own tiny dorm-sized bookshelf was organized.

It took minimal exploring to find the bedroom, given it was the only closed-off room aside from the bathroom. Inside, she found an immaculately made bed with white sheets and a matching white down comforter. It looked so comforting and inviting that Y/N almost climbed in still wearing her jeans. Shit, my jeans, she thought. With her dorm room occupied, she hadn’t been able to snag any of her pajamas. She could always sleep in her underwear, but then what if Gwilym came home and saw her? Would that really be so bad? She shook the thought out her head and walked over to the dresser, hoping he wouldn’t mind if she borrowed something. She pulled out a long pair of oversized, plaid pajama bottoms, and a plain white undershirt. Gwilym was relatively slender, but somehow Y/N managed to fit her hips into the pants. After changing, she pulled back the comforter and dove in. It felt like a cloud to her tired body, and she buried herself under the blanket. It took mere seconds for her drift asleep.

-----

It had been a long day for Gwilym. The meeting had run late, and it was 7:45 P.M. before he finally made it back home. He could hear light snoring coming from his bedroom and opened the door slightly to get a look. Y/N was still there, fast asleep. Her hair was a disheveled mess atop her head, and her lips were parted just enough for a small bit of drool to escape. Beautiful, he thought, though he immediately felt guilty. At 29, he was only a few years older than she was, having only finished his PhD two years ago and had been lucky enough to find a position shortly after. Age, however, was not the issue. Though she was not his student, she was still his assistant. The other professors would not look favorably upon such a relationship, though he had thought about it often.

She’d been his assistant for most of those two years, and over the course of that time he had fallen hopelessly head-over-heels. They often chatted together while they graded the undergraduate students’ papers and exams and found that they both had the same dry sense of humor. He loved the way her eyes always shut when she laughed, how she tugged on her ear lobe when she was deep in thought, and so much more. Sometimes he even thought she might feel the same but had brushed the notion to the side. She would never love someone like me, he thought. Little did he know about the butterflies that plagued Y/N every time she was in the same room as him.

He gently shut the bedroom door and made his way into the kitchen to put the kettle on. As he waited for the water to heat up, he picked up one his books and settled into the leather chair. Soon after, the kettle began to whistle. Shit, he hadn’t thought about the noise that came with making tea. He silently chastised himself, hoping he hadn’t woken her. He knew how much she needed the rest.

Y/N shot up in bed at the sound of the whistle. She looked over at the clock he had on his nightstand. “Shit,” she muttered to herself. She’d been asleep for almost five hours. Hearing noises coming from the kitchen, she begrudgingly climbed out of the warm comfort of the bed.

Gwilym had taken the kettle off the heat and was digging around searching for a mug. “Gwilym?” At the sound of you voice he whipped his head around.

“Y/N. Please forgive me, I forgot how loud the kettle was.”

She rubbed her eyes, still heavy with sleep. “S’okay. It’s my fault for oversleeping.”

He glanced up and down, recognizing the clothes she was wearing as his own. A grin tugged at the corners of his lips. “I see you made yourself at home.”

Her cheeks burned red, and she stuttered, “Oh, uh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to sleep in my jeans, and I couldn’t very well sleep naked- oh my god.” She didn’t think it was possible, but she felt her cheeks get even hotter when the word “naked” left her lips. “I’m so sorry, I’ll just go change and I’ll be out of your hair.”

As she turned to walk back to the bedroom, Gwilym reached out for her wrist without thinking. “Please don’t go. It’s alright, love.” It was his turn to blush. In a moment of spontaneous boldness, he commented, “Looks better on you anyways.”

Her eyes widened and she looked down to hide her smile, though it didn’t go unnoticed by Gwil. Clearing his throat, he tried to ease the awkward tension. “Would you like to stay for dinner? We never did get the chance to discuss your thesis. I’m not the best cook, but I can make a mean lasagna.”

“Anything would be better than another night of microwaved Ramen. And if I see one more Lean Cuisine I might die.”

Gwilym laughed. “Well, we mustn’t have that. God only knows where I’d be without you in class with all of those freshmen. If I hear one more question that could be answered by reading the syllabus, I WILL die.” They both giggled at that.

Y/N walked around the small kitchen island. “So, chef Gwil, how can I help?”

-----

After dividing up tasks, the two quickly completed their masterpiece and placed it in the oven. “How long do we wait?” Y/N rubbed her stomach, not realizing until just then how hungry she was.

“About forty-five minutes,” Gwil said as he set the timer on the stove. Y/N let out a groan and Gwilym laughed at her reaction. “There, there, it will pass in no time. Oh, hold on. You’ve got a bit of sauce- “

He reached over to wipe a bit of tomato sauce off of her cheek with his thumb. Her breath caught as his sudden touch. He gulped and started to pull his hand away but was surprised when Y/N placed her hand over his. He stepped closer until she could feel his breath on her forehead.

“Y/N,” he whispered. She felt a chill run down her spine.

“Gwilym.” She closed the short distance between them and pressed her lips against his. She was surprised at how soft they were and even more surprised when his hand left her cheek and slipped into her hair, pulling her closer to him. He politely swept his tongue across her bottom lip before deepening the kiss. She moaned into his mouth as Gwilym reached around her to lift her up, setting her down on top of the island counter. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him in.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” He uttered between kisses.

“I think I have some idea.” She pressed her hips into his pronounced erection, and he let out a soft moan.

The t-shirt she had borrowed from him started to fall off her shoulders, and Gwilym pressed kisses to the exposed skin, working his way from her shoulders to her clavicle. “You’re so incredibly beautiful, Y/N.”

“I’ve wanted you for so long, Gwil.” She answered, her head falling back as he marked her neck.

“And I, you.” He lifted her back up, allowing her time to wrap herself around him more securely before carrying her into the bedroom. He laid her back down on the plush comforter she had been buried in not too long ago. Y/N tugged at his belt, unbuckling it quickly before plunging her hand underneath the waistband of his pants and boxer briefs. His breath caught in his throat as she palmed his bare erection. She could tell by the outline on his pants that he was large, but she never expected what she found when she finally freed him from his underwear, working her wrist up and down him in steady strokes. He moaned before pushing his pants the rest of the way down his legs before kicking them off the bed, with his shirt quickly joining them on the floor. She only paused her movements for Gwilym to pull his t-shirt over her head and stood up briefly to remove his pajama pants from her body.

She started to climb back into the bed, but Gwil stopped her gently. “Please, let me just take you in for a moment.” She blushed but complied. Gwilym had often wondered what she would look like undressed, but now that he was confronted with the reality of her standing in her underwear in his bedroom, he was speechless. She silently thanked God that she actually managed to put on a matching bra and underwear. He quietly admired the way the purple fabric contrasted with her skin, then patted the space on the bed next to him. She belly-flopped onto the bed, and he let out a loud laugh. She grinned at him before moving to straddle him. His eyes shut at the erotic feeling of his naked member brushing against the thin fabric of her panties. Putting his hands on her back, he held her in place as he moved up the bed until his back was against the headboard. He cradled her in his arms and she slowly ground her hips into his.

She could feel his erection growing harder and the neediness she felt in the pit of stomach was becoming unbearable. Sensing this, Gwilym looked into her eyes. “Are you sure this is what you want, love?” She nodded fervently. Gwil reach behind her to unhook her bra and she stood up on the bed so that he could pull her panties off easily. She sat back down next to him and let her head fall back on a pillow. Gwil positioned himself at the foot of the bed and lightly pushed her knees apart. He trailed kisses up each of her thighs before finally settling in the spot she needed him most. Her body jolted with pleasure as he attached his lips to her folds, and she absentmindedly laced her fingers tightly in his hair to hold him in place.

“You’re so wet for me,” he breathed before reattaching to her clit. His name tumbled from her lips, over and over, the sound like heaven to his ears. When she moaned as two of his fingers slipped inside, he rutted his hips into the mattress for relief. “D’you like that love? Come for me, Y/N.”

He continued pumping his fingers and felt her start to tighten around them.

“I need you Gwil. All of you, please.”

God, even her whining is enticing, he thought. “Don’t worry love. This isn’t even the start of all the things I want to do to you. Want to make you feel good,” he murmured into her pelvis. “Do you think you can take one more, sweetheart?”

When Y/N nodded, Gwil carefully added a third finger and began pushing his fingers into her with more aggressive enthusiasm. She began to unravel around his unforgiving pace and felt herself tiptoe closer and closer to the edge of pure bliss. His mouth and fingers were relentless, and even as she fell over the edge, he kept up his pace until she was convulsing with the best orgasm she’d ever had. He pulled his fingers out of her, and the sight of him licking her wetness off of his fingers was almost enough to make her fall over the edge again.

Gwilym slid up the mattress until his face was level with hers. She turned and placed her hands on either side of his head before initiating another deep kiss. She pulled him until his entire body hovered over her own. His lips attached to her neck, and though she was still sensitive from her orgasm, she didn’t want to wait any longer. “Gwil,” she breath into his ear. “Please Gwil.” Her hand snaked down the length of his torso until she felt his member in her hand. He was so worked up that he bucked into her hand as she began stroking him. “You’re so needy, baby. Tell me what you want.”

Her words elicited a quiet moan from him. “You. Just you.” His lips met hers hard before he aligned himself with her entrance. He looked into her eyes once more. She nodded and he finally entered her.

Y/N had been with other men before, but none of them had even come close to filling her up as fully as Gwilym did. Her eyes rolled back in her head as he gave her a moment to adjust. After a few seconds, she pushed her hips up to meet his, silently giving him permission to begin.

He started slowly, afraid of hurting her. She felt heavenly around his cock, like she was perfectly made just for him. But she was just as needy as he was and kept bucking against him in an attempt to speed up the pace.

“So eager,” he chuckled. “Use your words, Y/N.”

“I need more of you, Gwil. God, I need more.” A moan escaped her lips at his tantalizingly slow pace, and he smirked down at her.

“All you had to was ask, my sweet, sweet girl.” He pecked her cheek before sliding his hand behind her head. He readjusted his weight and held her close as began to thrust into her with a renewed sense of purpose. He wasn’t going to last long, especially not with the cries that were flowing from her lips. She was so warm, and all she wanted, at least in that moment, was him.

When Gwilym felt her walls tighten again, his movements became more erratic.

“I’m so close, love.” He was struggling to hold back, but he knew he couldn’t for much longer.

“Me too, oh my God Gwil please. Please.” That was all it took for his hips to stutter as he released his warm, sticky fluid inside of her. The warmth the coated her walls was enough to send her tumbling back over the edge. Her vision went black and he continued moving inside her, coaxing her through the wave of pleasure that had taken over every inch of her being.

Her body trembled as she came down from her high, and though he was gentle, she cried out when finally pulled out of her. Gwilym held her tightly, steadying her as the began to come back down to earth. He sweetly kissed her temple, her nose, then her mouth. She parted her lips, inviting him to deepen the kiss. They laid there making out for short while.

Suddenly, Gwilym broke the kiss, pulling back slightly but his hand remained fully entwined in her hair.

“Y/N, I want you to know that this wasn’t just sex to me.” She looked up at him with wide eyes. “I know there are consequences to what I’m about to say, but I have to say it. I have been in love with you since the first night you came into my office to grade.”

She didn’t hesitate. “I love you, Gwilym.” She looked up at him through her eyelashes, taking in the surprised look on his face. He hadn’t dared to hope that she would feel the same way and hearing it out loud was more than he could ever want. “How do we do this?” She asked.

“I don’t know. You only have a few months before you graduate. We just have to keep this between us until then, and maybe for a little while after to avoid suspicion of foul play.”

Y/N didn’t like keeping secrets but knew that in this case she’d have no choice but to make an exception. “What about my thesis?”

“Well, we’ll just have to continue as normal. It would look odd if I suddenly resigned from the committee.”

Y/N nodded, and Gwilym pressed a knowing kiss to her temple. “I know this is difficult,” he said. “But I love you and I want to be with you. It will be okay, Y/N. No matter what happens, you will always have me.”

She smiled, and then jumped up out of the bed. Panicked, she looked at Gwilym and shouted, “THE LASAGNA!”

Permanent Taglist: @disasterdeacy

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rpgmgames · 6 years ago

Photo

September’s Featured Game: Ghost Hospital

DEVELOPER(S): Lev, Kip, Rose, Tredlocity, C, Bittersweet ENGINE: RPGMaker MV GENRE: Adventure, RPG WARNINGS: Anxiety, Body horror, Implied child harm SUMMARY: Ghost Hospital is a game about anxiety, depression, despair, mental rock bottoms, and, of course, ghosts. You play as Robin, a twelve-year-old girl who has an anxiety disorder and is very much alive in this hospital meant for beings that are not alive. Frankly, her anxiety was already bad enough before she landed in a hospital full of dead people, the still-shambling shells of ancient ghosts who try to take her down for a sweet taste of life, and the hospital directors hellbent on keeping her contained, and more importantly, away from the reason she's REALLY there. Thankfully, you have your new friends Jay and Sarcastic Ghost- Jay is a ghost about your age, and still a very new arrival to the hospital, and Sarcastic Ghost…well, he's an amorphous blob of a ghost, who talks a lot despite not having a mouth.

Download the demo here!

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! Lev: Hey, my name is Lev! I'm an artist and storyteller, and though I've wanted to make games for a long time, this is my first serious attempt! Most of my work is about my experiences in mental illness. Kip: I'm a freelance artist being allowed to write cheap jokes in ghost form. Rose: I'm a freelance writer and editor for the game! I also work on dialogue and story drafting. Tredlocity: My name is Tredlocity! I do some character designs and writing in the game! C: c / ghoul is a character designer, comic artist and Halloween enthusiast. They're currently apart of several indie game teams and are writing the webcomic, This Dark Forest of Ours. Bittersweet: I'm Kendall (AKA Bittersweet), and I'm the resident music person (one of two, technically, but the other left the project unfortunately.) This is my first (and thus far only) major soundtrack composition project, but thus far, it's been a satisfying one!

What is your project about? What inspired you to create your game initially? *Lev: Ghost Hospital is a game about anxiety, and the game was born out of an idea to put someone in the shoes of someone with clinical anxiety and depression without going for the prototypical 'horror game' or 'walking simulator', giving more game-friendly, practical narrative and gameplay examples of how it effects people.

How long have you been working on your project? *Lev: The game started development in late 2016 as a thesis project for college. At its inital completion, it was more of a beta or proof of concept than a demo- in its current state, it's far closer to what we have envisioned for the final project.

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Lev: Absolutely! The biggest influences are OFF, Yume Nikki, and Sweet Home, and a lot of Gameboy Color graphics and aesthetics- namely, Pokemon GSC and the GBC Zelda Games.

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Lev: RPG Maker is a versatile engine, but still fairly restrictive, so getting all the effects I wanted to work was challenging. Mental illness and real life have been taking a toll on development time, too. Getting things to work took teaching myself some javascript, and after being in serious development for this long, I've found ways to motivate myself to keep working. Having other people checking in on you helps, too.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Lev: In its very first inital pitch, it was much closer to Yume Nikki, being more atmospheric and serious. At some point in character and world development, though, I couldn't bear to make it a stoic adventure, and with most of the stuff I already take inspiration from, it's hard for me to not put jokes into the media I make, anyway.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Lev: At the beginning, it was just me working on everything. The first people I brought on board were my concept artist, Kip, my writer, Rose, and my musician, Bittersweet. I can't do music on my own, and I knew from word go that I wanted this to be the kind of game with a strong story and a lot of unique NPCs.

What is the best part of developing the game? *Lev: Call me biased, but the most fun part is making the art for it. It's hard for me to motivate myself to keep working if I'm just using default placeholder sprites, I have to make new NPCs to keep myself interested. It's not the most convenient, but it's fun to do, and it actually really does help with my workflow.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Lev: Oh, absolutely. RPG Maker games have a bad reputation for being very cut-and-paste, and there's a lot of those out there. But it just takes a bit of effort to make yourself and your game stand out, and it can be done absolutely beautifully! The latest one I've played was Hylics, completely surreal and wonderful.

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Lev: Robin is a sort of proxy character for myself, so...I'm a bit biased on her. I love Jay a lot, too, he's kinda the friend I wish I had in elementary school when all this first showed up, haha. *Tredlocity: As someone who faces anxiety on a daily basis, I relate to Robin a lot. Though I would say my favorite character is Jay, since he can shoot plasma and has blue hair. *C: I'm partial to Coop [upcoming character], not just bc I designed them but bc I love big sister types. *Rose: I also relate to robin and jay! i try to control my anxiety while remaining positive and hopeful about situations. *Bittersweet: As an anxiety-riddled person, I relate immensely to Robin. However, my favorite character by far has to be Carna. (There's another character I'm particularly looking forward to when the full version of the game is released, though~)

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Lev: Honestly, there's a few things I wanted the game to be able to do at the start that I wasn't able to make happen. I spent a LOT of time trying to get it to work without having to go in and code it myself, and I wish I'd been able to take a step back, remind myself that this is my first serious project, and just stop worrying so much about what, in the end, would've been a minor detail, anyway.

Once you finish your project, do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Lev: Chances are I'm gonna leave it alone, but if I go back, I HAVE had a bit of a 'Ghost College' AU where they're exploring a haunted old library on their college campus instead of being trapped in a ghost hospital. It'd probably be cool as a point-and-click adventure, but it wouldn't exactly be a canon exploration of the postgame.

What do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Lev: I'm actually working on a few other projects, so being able to work on those more freely would be great, especially considering I'm really bad at keeping my own limits in mind, haha.

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Lev: Mostly, I'm afraid that making a game about a subject like this, as a minority and with other people in my team that would be considered minorities, that releasing this game to the mainstream public would get me a lot of negative attention from people who think that people like us don't belong in the gaming sphere. It's pretty nerve-wracking, but after the positive reception of games like Undertale and SLARPG, it's getting easier to convince myself that I should be more afraid of people just generally not liking the game, haha.

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Lev: Have someone to work with! DEFINITELY have someone to work with. Even if it's just a friend to bounce ideas off of or someone to ask if you've been working on the game, having someone else involved helps a lot. And specifically for RPG Maker- if you can, replace your default font with a different one. It's a minor detail, but it goes a long way towards making your game feel more original. *C: Always have a backlog of different projects. I have about four or five ideas constantly on rotation so I don't burn myself out on just one. *Tredlocity: My advice for any creatives is to start small, and just get it out. Feedback is a great motivator, and the only way to get better at something is to keep doing it! *Rose: I think some good advice is to write a few drafts of whatever it is you're working on in order to see which version you'd like to continue! let your work have different scenarios and situations based on various elements you insert or take out of a story, game, or other piece. *Bittersweet: Don't pressure yourself to a dead-set deadline. I know, you want to get this project out eventually, and if you're on a roll with development then all the power to you, but if you're struggling, don't let it burn you out. That's just unhealthy.

Question from last month's featured dev @toxicshroomswamp: How do you feel about your main character(s)? What piece of life advice would you give them? *Lev: I love my main characters, I love them like my own children. I would probably tell Robin that she'll learn to handle everything, it won't be so scary forever. I'd tell Jay that stopping for a minute and thinking is way more important than it seems. I'd tell Sarcastic ghost to shut up.

We mods would like to thank Lev, Kip, Rose, Tredlocity, C, and Bittersweet for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Ghost Hospital if you haven’t already! See you next month!

- Mods Gold & Platinum

#rpgmaker #rpg maker #indie games #pixel games #ghost hospital #ghost hospital (game)#game of the month #gotm #game dev #game making #gotm september #september 2018 #2018

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year2000electronics · 5 years ago

Note

whats your process of making stories for your characters?

plagiarism!

no in all seriousness though, a lot of it comes from me thinking, what do i want to see here?

the reckoning, of course, has that thesis statement that’s easy to pick up on: “what if a hero actually accepted a villain’s offer to join them?” and i built the rest of it up from there, the modern one at least (friends know that it went a little coraline-gotg2 at the beginning there). its a lot about fleshing out concepts and then creating characters that go into this concept...

the second step is to make enjoyable characters, once i have a strong concept in place i can make characters! i take advice from a lot of big creators, which is that a story’s strong point should be its characters. its not really a secret that i get inspired by other characters for mine, but a lot of my characters are either so indistinguishable from their inspiration that they’re entirely new, or my own ocs... problem students, for example, has a lot of ocs that i took from franchises i wasn’t totally interested in having ocs for anymore (creed, isadora, and bridgette are some of those!), i placed them in this concept i came up with! the ‘hero school media but for villains’ idea came first, and when i was struggling to come up with a protag i was like ‘oh wait! there’s this kid i already love! shes perfect!!’ the process of having inspiration characters is also pretty long in and of itself, bc it takes ages to actually flesh them out as their own character and pluck out what exactly you LIKED about the original character so you can actively work on building a character w those traits instead of full-on copying

and after concepts and characters are finished, THAT’S when i start playing around with the story a little. dad quest came back, of course, but with darwin playing the role of beta asma (without the whole I BET SHE TOOK THE KIDS HUH thing lol), but also other, more strange installments started emerging from the concepts and characters put together (ie. the apocalypse setting spawned the town of eden for reckoning zero, the reckoning ii came from the loose end of marius), but also there’s other plot threads that get added in my other stories too, like between two chambers originally just being about steven travelling kingdoms, but then i decided to make gula and gadrielle team up, then added henshin, THEN added steven’s evil clone to the mix

anyways that got long but thats more or less how i do it?

#moth flies #inksanitizer

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doctormage · 6 years ago

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hi i just need to be really dramatic and long winded bc if i dont get it Out im going to fucking explode

ive actually been trying really hard this semester with my thesis and its REALLY fucking difficult for me. my depression makes me catatonic and unable to complete simple tasks or be motivated to do literally anything; my anxiety paralyzes me at the slightest unexpected change and then obsess over whether everyone in my life hates me because of my anxiety; my sleep schedule is constantly fucked and my doctor is unhelpful; my bdd will sidetrack me from my work and responsibilities for literal hours or days, and sometimes if its feeling spicy send me on a full scale fucking breakdown; and my adhd makes all this shit worse on TOP of all the NORMAL adhd shit. like thats just!!! my life!!!! at all times!!!!! and there have been several times where i have genuinely considered leaving this program or not continuing school after bc i was so fucking overwhelmed and exhausted and scared but i didnt!!! like i make a lot of jokes about procrastinating and wasting my time and doing the least and whatever but in reality its really fucking difficult for me even when im medicated!!! but i dont like admitting that bc of all my exhausting childhood baggage and shit but that is not the point of this rant so anyway

this semester i made a specific effort to try and be a better student even tho all of this stuff has been exacerbated by grad school. i felt i owed it to my director and one of my committee members because theyve been so fucking helpful and put their faith in me and took a lot of their time to help me. i wanted to show them i was worthy of it and capable of being a good student who does all the shit she’s supposed to do, does it well, and does it on time. i overloaded my fall semester and nearly lost my goddamn mind JUST to have a lighter class load this semester so i could focus most of my time on my thesis (like for real that was actually incredibly stupid of me. i lost almost 30 pounds from september to december without conscious effort just because i was so fucking stressed. not a brag and actually kind of concerning bc that has LITERALLY never happened to me). it has been like....significantly taxing, but i wanted to show them how much i appreciate their time and effort and help by being responsible and respectful. my Trying Hard is a lot of people’s Barely Doing Their Best and i know that. turning something in 2 hours early is below average for some but for me, literally anything more than 30 minutes before its due is an actual goddamn miracle. but i wanted to work hard and do things right for my committee members because they deserve it

this christmas my parents asked what i wanted and the ONLY thing i asked for was help with my library dues. last year from like march to october i was significantly depressed and entirely out of my head, and i racked up some pretty bad overdue fees. i didnt even ask them to pay all of it, just some of it. less than $100. im really truly grateful for the gifts they DID get me, but i didnt ask for them for any of it, and my overdue fees were left alone. i was under the impression that they got paid and, like a fucking idiot, i didnt check up on it to confirm. ive been so hell deep in my thesis and teaching and grading and applying to phd programs and looking for apartments and shit that it really just slipped my fucking mind!!! crazy!!!!

today i was in crisis bc i thought i fucked up with scheduling my defense/exam/whatever the fuck. im going to call it defense and i dont give a shit bc everyone calls it some other shit and i dont CARE. anyway i really thought i fucked up but i went and talked it out with my director and it was all sorted out. i’ve gotten like 50% of her feedback on my thesis draft, which i’ve incorporated, and im waiting on comments from another reader (the other helpful person on my committee). we have to run some dumbass software before scheduling, so i ran it today and tried to schedule it but couldnt bc theres a hold on my account. i went on a fucking....ALMIGHTY QUEST to figure it out and i finally discovered that guess what!!!!!!! its my GODDAMN LIBRARY OVERDUE FEES!!!!!! THAT I THOUGHT WERE PAID!!!!!!! i had to pay them myself which is fine idc but it takes several days to process. this fucks up my life on SEVERAL levels

for one, its fucking impossible to get a hold of my third committee member. she is a vapor in the wind. shes like super busy and thats all good and well but the point is theres like zero communication there. i finally got confirmation on a defense date from all 3 members and had been literally planning MY ENTIRE LIFE around this date. after todays first scheduling crisis i was so happy i was still on track, but now this? now i have to wait 3-4 days before i can even SCHEDULE the defense. the super delightful part is that we have to schedule a minimum of 2 weeks in advance. so now i cant schedule my defense until tuesday at the absolute earliest, but that ALSO bumps my defense date several days ahead. i have no fucking clue if my committee is going to agree on another day that works for everyone bc theyre all busy as shit and we’d been working toward the original date for weeks if not months, and im so fucking upset because this is exactly what i DIDNT want to have happen. i havent tried to email them yet because im hoping beyond fucking hope i can call somebody at the university tomorrow and see if the hold is something else besides the fee, but it makes me sick to think of having to be like “oh sorry i know i constantly fuck up everything ever and im a piece of shit but can we change this date we’ve had set since january because i was an extra shitty piece of shit this time??” like OHHH MY GODDDDD

and the thing thats really fucking with me is that like, yes its my fault but this one time its not ENTIRELY 100% my fault. i asked for a favor and had the understanding that it was taken care of. yes the fees were my doing and yes i shouldve checked but oh my fucking god. i feel like all the effort ive put into being a better student this semester has been for fucking nothing because im going to have to email my committee asking for a different date and ruin all their fucking lives and theyll be so disappointed in me. i have like legitimately been crying on and off about it since like 4:30 today

it so shitty in and of itself but i especially dont want to do this to my director bc she is legitimately the reason im finishing this program AND that im going to a phd program. a year ago i’d barely spoken 20 words to her but she still agreed to be a reader on my committee just because she heard me explain my thesis for all of 30 seconds and decided to give it a try. she literally had not read a song of ice and fire at the time and she started reading them for me to help me with my thesis. in the fall when my original director basically threatened to leave my committee if i didnt change all my ideas, my current director stepped in and helped me and talked me through it and then offered to take her place even though my research is BARELY distantly related to hers. through all of this she’s been so insanely patient with me, super encouraging of my ideas both in this project and in others, helped me decide whether it was right for me to get my phd immediately after my masters, proofed and edited and helped me with ALL my phd application materials, and STILL is in the process of reading these goddamn books just to be a better director. i have lost my head so many times and shes always been there to help me figure my shit out, and i wanted to have it figured out for once. how stupid of me

like bumping the date isnt the end of the whole world but its really not just about the fact that i have to reschedule. i was trying real goddamn hard to be a better student this semester and i REALLY fucking owed it to my director and other reader, but especially director, and i still managed to fuck up this bad. i feel like such a DISAPPOINTMENT and it just will not leave my brain bc im so mad at myself. i tried watching shows and youtube compilations about game of thrones and shit but now my bf is asleep and im alone and its all i can think about. im so fucking tired of being the person i am honestly and i dont mean that in an edgy way its just like jesus christ i wish there was less shit wrong with me. i wish i had any kind of willpower or discipline so i couldve learned these skills and been a better student from the start. i wish i wasnt a giant piece of shit!!!!!

and now im going to be up late being anxious about all this which means that i will, once again, wake up late but also still be really exhausted, which means i’ll do a shitty job teaching and get overwhelmed by everything and who the fuck knows what fun bullshittery will ensue because of it. i am so fucking tired of me and my fuckery and the fact that it fucks with other people even why i try so hard for it not to. tired!!!!!!!! fucking tired

#p #this is literally like an essay #on why im a piece of shit lmao #ignore me!!!!!!

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ctl-yuejie · 6 years ago

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Cat Got Your Tongue (read on ao3)

TayNew Part 2 of Cat!New (Part 1) twitter prompt by @.taynewstuff:

au where new is a creature that turns from human to cat form, he’s lost on the streets when tay finds him and takes him home inside his hoodie bc it’s freezing outside, next thing tay knows there’s a whole man sleeping on his sofa where he left the cat the night before.

3.1 k

Almost a month has past before they see each other again.

It’s the grand opening night of the Iconsiam shopping mall and Tay pushes through the crowd that has gathered in front of the big central stage. The owners didn’t shy away from expenses, having invited several k-pop stars to headline the event. Now he knows why Alice told him to arrive early. Having to fight for a good spot against squealing teenagers will take its time. The girl standing next to him seems to get dragged down by the weight of her photography equipment, some of it looking so professional that Tay almost feels inadequate for bringing only one of his cameras. At least the silliness of it all already promises great entertainment.

With polite bows but determined steps he makes his way through the crowd opting for a spot closer to the speaker’s desk. Satisfied with the view he has of the stage Tay turns around to see if Alice has already arrived at the venue. Luckily everyone around him is much shorter, but neither Alice nor her manager are to be seen. Although... Far in the back a familiar head stands out to him from the crowd. With a shake of his head New tries to bring his bangs in order, using his fingers to push some unruly strands of hair to one side. Tay sends him a smile, but he knows it’s in vain. They’re too far apart, New not looking into his direction and he himself unable to move without giving up his spot. They had exchanged numbers that day, but after they had parted they’d only messaged each other once to set up a date for New to return the clothes he borrowed.

However they both had been busy and the exchange never happened. Additionally to being swamped with work Tay thought that it was only appropriate to give New the time and space to figure out his situation so he didn't press on with the matter. In the end they had gone a month now without talking.

Before he realises it New’s head vanishes into the crowd. Tay dejectedly turns around and decides to take some practice shots of the stage. If he’s lucky, New might stick around long enough for them to meet after the event.

The opening itself is grand to say the least, Alice routinely leading through the evening announcing one star after the other. After the last concert is over everyone pours into the surrounding stores and soon the space around the stage is completely cleared out. Taking a look around Tay is searching for what must have been New but none of the faces around him look familiar. A sudden thought comes to his mind. He lowers his gaze and takes another look around. Looks like New hasn't turned into a cat again. At least not tonight.

A hand on his shoulder startles him and he turns around do be greeted by the blinding smile of Alice. A group of elderly men waiting in the distance, most likely to guide her to the after party. "Will you join me?", she asks and without waiting for an answer pulls him over and introduces him to what must be the sponsors of the event. Tay politely introduces himself. His "just a photographer" earns him a playful slap, Alice correcting him immediately. "His name is quite well-known in the business, although his work focuses on landscapes." More people join and soon Tay is surrounded by investors, celebrities and politicians who all can't leave the chance out to be seen. The after-show itself is quite tasteful despite the grandeur and he finds himself enjoying the evening, taking the chance to network and connect with old work colleagues. He politely turns down a glass of champagne and the waitress moves out of the way when another distinguished man joins his group. Tay wais to the elderly man who turns out to be a professor of his alma mater. Despite having graduated from a different department, they're quite quickly engaged in exchanging the latest news on Chulalongkorn. After all the business talk the conversation is like a breath of fresh air. The camera around his neck piques the man's interest. It turns out that his department does research on food engineering, 'more of an art than a science' the professor says and he's quite eager to see the pictures Tay took during the event. Humming in satisfaction he offers Tay to hire him next time. "We do cooperate with food companies to not only enhance the products themselves but also to make them more aesthetically pleasing. Art is a science but science is also an art. For the aesthetic aspects we need a professional eye." Tay nods politely. The elderly man gives him an understanding look. "You said your focus was on landscapes, but I quite like your style and your friend told me you do different orders as well. One of my doctorates is focused on sweets and looking for someone to take pictures. If you don't mind I'd like to share your info with him." Tay smiles. "Sure. It is true that I have my professional scope, but it's always fun to branch out. Make hay as the sun shines*." The professor gives him a pleased nod, patting his breast pocket where he put his business card holder with Tay's contact information.

"Professor!", a baritone voice calls out and Tay's ears tingle at the sound. Turning around he sees New, dressed in a simple suit wai-ing respectfully to his professor and in turn towards the other people in their group. Tay has to suppress a laugh at the expression New makes when he finally lifts his head after the last bow to find himself looking at Tay. New's eyes widen and he seems lost for words, nevertheless pleased to see Tay.

The professor however seems to be adamant to finish his conversation with Tay first, beckoning New to join the other men and to make new contacts. Tay doesn't really listen to the rest of what the professor is saying, eyes flitting to New, who seems very awkward and clumsy at making small-talk, the conversations around him slowly but surely quieting down. One after the other the group disperses, leaving New no choice but to half-dejectedly stand on his own, not sure whether it is okay to interrupt Tay and his professor. Their eyes meet, New immediately looking down, evading him. "I was about to set you two up but now that you're here you can ask him for his number yourself." The professor encouragingly waves at New to step closer. "He's a photographer.", he explains, says his goodbyes to Tay and vanishes into the crowd. New visibly relaxes.

"I thought he was about to set us up." New sighs. "What are you doing here and how did you get to know my professor?" "I'm here to take pictures for a friend. The professor is someone I just met. I had no idea he was your doctorate supervisor?" "You just met him?" Tay raises his eye-brows. "You seemed to be quite chummy." "Maybe you're just not good with small-talk." Tay isn't sure whether their relationship is at a stage where he's allowed to tease New. New sighs again. "He said that you're in need of a photographer?" "Ah, that's what he meant with setting us up. Yes, I do. But I can always ask someone else." Tay feels dejected even when he knows it probably wasn't meant that strongly. "My thesis is on the nutritional issues of consuming fats and sugars. My work is to present general strategies for substituting fats and sugars in baked products. For my paper I need pictures of finished products." "I could...unless...", Tay doesn't know why he isn't able to just offer his service. Or why he feels like he wants to do this job despite it being out of his scope, making him most likely not the best candidate. Instead he opts for a question. "Do you know many photographers?" "I'm not really close with any, but I model as a part-time job so I could definitely ask around." New's eyes look unsure. As if he caught himself boasting and is now embarrassed. Why would he feel embarrassed in front of him? New is quite tall. Maybe not runway tall, but Tay could definitely see him as a model. In his mind he thinks about what angles New would look best from and what light would compliment his skin the most. Maybe he models for swim-wear. Tay fidgets with the strap of his camera. "Is that the reason you do your research on healthy sweets? So you can eat them even when modelling?" Half-curios, half-teasingly. "Not really. I work-out enough to compensate for all the calories. I'm more interested in the health-aspects." New finds it surprisingly easy to talk to Tay. "I'm quite the expert on healthy foods." "Then do you want to try some of my cake some time?" "Not much of a sweets person." Now it's New's turn to feel rejected. "But, I'd try some." Tay quickly adds. "It must be nice to do your research on such a fulfilling subject." New laughs at his bad wordplay. Tay is pretty sure by now that he’d likes to hang out more with New. "I like the math's aspect of it. But I'm not sure if I want to work in that area. The cake is a plus though." New smiles at him, eyes vanishing and Tay can feel his heart beating against his chest.

"Then you should try some of the cake that's making the rounds right now!" Alice hollers, joining their conversations. She seems to be quite tipsy. Tay introduces them and after getting nagged to send her the pictures of tonight's event first thing in the morning she curiously eyes New. "We're getting cake", she yells back before pulling New with her. When Tay catches up New is sitting at a big round table surrounded by several people their age, plate full of different small pieces of patisseries. He's happily munching on one of the pieces but Tay can see that he's slightly uncomfortable being surrounded by the group of unknown showbiz people. Before he can head-over to save him someone grabs his arm. Looks like all drama and theatre graduates have joined the event and soon Tay gets swamped by old school-friends, everyone excitedly discussing their newest works and throwing fits over pictures Tay still owes them. One look over his shoulder and he can see that New has vanished.

The Chula crowd moves on to the next table and Tay exhaustedly sits down on the chair New has left vacant. "He'll be back." Alice encourages him, but New remains nowhere to be seen.

Tay is about to get up and leave, angry at himself for leaving New alone and losing him when a small cat jumps into his lap. After recovering from the initial shock, he nudges the cat’s head reprovingly. "I’ll put a collar on you, so you don't run away next time." Cat New has amazing instincts when it comes to finding Tay’s weak spots and it head-butts his neck in retaliation. “Don't touch my neck.”, Tay hisses, but he carefully cradles the cat in his arms, making sure that they’re not getting too much attention and starts to look for New's clothes. New’s small paws tap his hands on occasion to steer him in the right direction and finally he can make out New’s suit, his shoes, and a clutch underneath a group of bushes. Luckily the light is dimmed and no one pays attention to the photographer with a cat and a suit in his arms. Tay, guided by New, takes them both back to the garage. Fishing the keys out of the pocket of New’s pants he places cat New on the back seat, arranging his clothes around him. Not knowing what to do he opens the passenger door, sits down and goes through the pictures he has shot, hoping that New will turn back soon. Tay is sorting the pictures in his head, thinking about how to edit them later on when human New puts his chin on his shoulder. Tay jumps at the contact and New laughs.

It seems like the time has come to broach the subject. “Are you okay?” New puts his chin back on Tay’s shoulder, looking at the pictures on the display in Tay’s lap while he talks. “Hmmm. I don’t turn that often into a cat anymore, most of the time it’s after I’ve taken a nap. Recently I’ve even been able to turn back into a human at will.” The puffs of his breath tingle against Tay’s neck with each word that leave his lips. Tay finds himself unable to concentrate on much of what New is saying. “I still have no idea why I turn at all.” New leans back after a long sigh escapes him which sends Tay into overdrive. “Can I drive you back?”, New asks while stuffing his shirt back into his slacks. Tay hums in affirmation, still trying to calm himself down. After fixing his outfit New gets into the driver’s seat and starts the engine. The air from the air-conditioner is on full blast and Tay gets a face full of stale air into his face. He knows he must have looked funny when New tries hard not to smile. Going into a giggling fit about his own stupidity he finally calms his heart down. They decide to head for Chidlom first to fetch Tay’s clothes from New’s apartment. Tay relaxes against the backrest, glancing at New on occasion who seems to be immersed into driving. "Do you know who sang at the opening? The American? She has a great voice." Tay tries to remember the name. The car comes to a halt in front of a red light. "You mean Alecia Key's? She's really famous." New looks back at him and their eyes meet. Without saying anything they just sit like that. Tay feels like he’s losing ground, staring into New’s round, dark eyes. A car honking behind them alerts them to the light turning green and Tay turns his head to look out of the window. "Well, her music was nice." New reaches for the stereo, blindly entering the letters and a song from today’s evening fills the car. They spend the drive singing her songs, Tay not quite confident in his voice humming under his breath. New seems to have forgotten all awkwardness between them, singing louder with each song. His voice is low and a warm feeling spreads through Tay’s chest.

New’s apartment looks like a mess. Tay wades through convenience store bags filled with trash and piles of clothes before settling on the only empty spot on the sofa. New doesn’t seem to be embarrassed at all, making his way to the bathroom to retrieve Tay’s clothes. It doesn’t take long, but when he comes back Tay’s head has lolled against his chest and he’s fast asleep.

“Tay, Tay...” New shakes him softly by the shoulders. Tay’s scrunches his face when he fights to open his eyes. The clock on the wall tells him that it’s already way past midnight. He has been up and working for most of the day, his energy finally seeming to have run out. “I’ll get a cap.” He yawns. “I’ll drive you.” Tay shakes his head, both to get rid of the sleepiness and to stop New from grabbing his car keys again. “You’d have to drive back and forth and it’s already late.” Instead of standing up he remains seated on the edge of the sofa in a daze. He’s not fully awake and despite the messiness New’s apartment makes him feel at ease and oh so tired. “You can sleep here, if you want to.” New’s voice sounds unsure. Tay tries to lift his head to see if the look on New’s face is sincere, but he can already feel his eyelids getting heavier and it takes up all his energy to stay awake. He nods and turns to lie down on the sofa. His head collides painfully with a pile of books. Newwiee laughs at his misery, pulling him back up again and guiding him to his bedroom.

The room feels much warmer than the living room. Not caring about anything in his sleepy stupor Tay strips down to his underwear and faceplants onto one side of the bed. The sheets smell nice and a satisfied grin forms on his face. Tay is about to drift off when the bed dips on the other side, New carefully lying down. Tay cracks one eye open but in the darkness he can only make out the general outline of New’s body. However the puffs of air on his forehead make it clear that New must lie down facing him. “New?” New grumbles in response, feeling quite sleepy. It gets silent in the room. Just the short puffs of air against his skin. New’s minty breath is tantalizing. Tay reaches out with one hand, fumbling in the dark until he reaches New’s chin, carefully framing his face with his hand. It might be the sleepiness. Or the fuzzy feeling that still lingers after unexpectedly seeing New in the crowd today. Whatever it is, for a moment it sweeps away all his restraint. Tay’s thumb draws slow circles on New’s cheek. Head devoid of any rational thought and his nose full of New’s scent he stretches his neck, their noses bumping into each other before he softly kisses New’s lips. Tay draws back and waits, hand still holding onto New’s face. In the distance he can hear the minute hand of the clock moving to the next line. Then there’s a hand on his back, pulling him closer and New’s lips on his. He breathes in a mouth full of mint, his lungs hurting as New insists on not breaking their kiss. It’s chaste but expectant and Tay slowly moves his lips against New’s savouring the sweet taste. New whines when Tay breaks away so he places a few soft kisses to the corner of New’s mouth before he lets his head sink right next to New’s into the cushion. Before he can register that New’s breathing has evened out Tay has already drifted off to sleep.

Tay wakes up to a cat sleeping on his face and effectively blocking his airway. He jolts up, the fluffy white ball getting flung to the lower end of the bed. “New!!”

*(น้ำขึ้นให้รีบตัก) - When the water rises, hurry to get some

#ctlyuejie writes #cat!newwiee au #tay tawan #newwiee #taynew #newtay #new thitipoom #maximum of self-indulgence #taynew drabbles

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jobethdalloway · 7 years ago

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CLEXACON RECAP omfg

bc this needs to go somewhere & @mnhooch was kind enough to ask. tried to bold some highlights bc this is basically a long-ass diary entry ramble haha

-the first thing I went to was a panel called “Gaysian: Queer Asian Representation in the Media” with 4 incredibly rad/funny/super smart folks. Really enlightening convo on finding bits and pieces of characters who don’t look like/sound like you to relate to. A highlight: the first question was asking them if there are any queer Asian characters in the media they related to growing up and the last one said “Well, of course, Mulan” and there was like this loud “MMMMMM yeahhhh” that like rippled through the audience. Pressed to clarify which Mulan: “THE CARTOON one, come on”

-the moderator for the LGBTQ Actress panel was hilarious and the women on it were all wonderful so it was great to get to hear from them/learn about them but for me it was ALL ABOUT STEPHANIE BEATRIZ OMMMMMMGGG. Seeing how bubbly she is irl is a good reminder of how solid her performance is as Rosa like dang. Highlight: Stephanie tearing up talking about how much it meant to her to read the dialogue “I’m bisexual,” laid clearly and deliberately, in the script where Rosa come out

-SO MANY STUNNING BUTCHES EVERYWHERE??? omg. also it was just really cool to be in a space with so many women and nb folks. Pretty much every other gay-anything I’ve tried to go to has been 98% cis gay guys so this was like huge in a way I wasn’t anticipating

-OLDER WOMEN WHO’VE BEEN WAITING DECADES FOR GOOD REPRESENTATION, and they were there, and they love the shows we love and it warmed my heart. Also people came from around the globe for this and that was so cool

-AMAZING COSPLAYERS!!! Faves: 2 people dressed as Valkyries, Xena & Gabrielle, and too many gorgeous Alex Danvers(...es) to count

-saw a group of short documentaries, some of which were like ok but there were 2 great ones - butch coyolxauhqui (x) (about a butch learning to love her body with the help of her mother & an Aztec goddess) and a place in the middle (x) (about a Hawaiian child reclaiming traditional notions about gender from an awesome teacher)

-an awesome panel on butch representation in the media! Wish more people could’ve made it to that one. Such an important reminder that there is soooo far to go. Good introspection about internalized lesbophobia (”cured” tomboys in kid movies; butches being the lesbian equivalent of effeminate men where the stereotype is what our internalized phobia wants to get away from instead of embracing as we should)/the fact that it’s a stereotype but still like never seen?? and if it is seen, is usually negative. sigh.

-a panel on sapphic fanfic! Which was actually really inspiring and makes me want to get back into writing. Because I love it. I love writing, you guys.

DAY 2? ALREADY OMG

-started off the day in the way, way back of the auditorium for the Wayhaught panel which was so much fun! Kat & Dom are too adorable for words. Highlight: Kat’s response when asked about her thoughts on things like fanart/fanfic. idk, it was really heartwearming/inspiring. Something along the lines of, “this character may look like me but it’s the spirit of Nicole that matters, and the spirit belongs to all of us, not just me” ergo she sees fanart and sees Nicole, not herself. No single person/entity owns the character. idk that was just a really awesome thing to hear an actor say

-short comedies!! Sadly I had to duck out of this one early, but I loved 2 of the ones I saw here - a USC thesis (trailer) and a hilarious/touching one by a Philippine filmmaker called “salamagan” that unfortunately I can’t find online anywhere

-CHYLER LEIGH. CHYLER LEIGH, HOLY SHIT. This was like. The most moving Q&A I think I’ve ever been able to experience. As I was sitting there, it really registered with me how shitty it felt to have to put up with actresses (not just a certain 2) for years who were ashamed - vocally and specifically - of fans like us. Not for being over-zealous, but being queer and having queer feelings and seeking validation. How shitty it felt to have those actresses make fun of us on talk shows; make us feel gross/stupid/deluded/embarrassing for feeling the way we did & thus perpetuating internalized fears and shame in abundance. I know there are plenty of actresses who are truly great allies and who care about their LGBTQ fans, but Chyler like ... is so engaged?? She was so emotional and you can see that she gets it, she does not take her responsibility lightly and she is wonderful. I was also reminded of the distinction between seeing ourselves/hearing ourselves in media. bc i’m white, I do get to see queer characters who look like me more and more on TV/the movies (certainly more than I was a kid), but Alex is the first(/only?) one who I’ve really heard myself in and that feels significant Highlight: I got to ask her a question! And I was the last one they had time for so phew. Here’s a link to the whole panel, set to start at my question *^^ (but I definitely recommend watching the whole thing the next time you have an hour to spare) (I MADE HER LAUGH. Kinda hard to make out what I said at the beginning, which is, “oh wow, lesbians are short” bc I’m almost 6′ tall and the mic stand was very very low) (I WAS TREMBLING THE WHOLE TIME Y’ALL)

-highlight: a DELIGHTFUL/wonderful feature called “Signature Move” (trailer). You want a good lesbian movie? HERE’S A GOOD LESBIAN MOVIE!!! Nobody dies, no lesbians have to date men, one of the leads is a butch Pakistani-American and the other is Mexican-American and we see their complicated/beautiful relationships with their mothers and it’s FUNNY AS HELL and the leads are HANDSOME AND BEAUTIFUL AS HELL and it needs all the viewers

-highlight: I got to meet @thefootlightclub and @missmaclay after years of being tumblr buddies!! They are both delightful/amazing people and it was so fun to like, fangirl irl with people. And since I went to this con alone, it was really cool to get to talk to other people about it, haha. They introduced me to some awesome peeps including the lovely @amyroot! Thanks y’all for being so friendly and welcoming me in. Also @thefootlightclub and I talked about how June Allyson should totally have a massive lesbian following bc Jo March and that voice, amirite #imright

DAY 3 OH NO THE WEEKEND IS ENDING

-really sad short films today!! Most of them not great, but there was one that wove in Mrs Dalloway and that was pretty cool/I was stunned to see that the cinematographer was a childhood friend of mine! Who is Mormon! And apparently worked on a film about lesbians! He’s a cool guy and that was a fun surprise. One of the films was pretty powerful and gave me AYLT feels (if my epilogue had been depressing AF) (trailer)

-there was a panel called “empowerment through fandom,” which was nice but pretty much wound up being for Earpers. Validating to know one of the panelists was a reporter and it’s like aha okay this stuff is for people in all walks of life/professions/ages. Validating all around.

-I wandered around the vendor booths and picked up a couple of pins/postcards. So many talented people! Probably just as well that I didn’t look too hard at this stuff until the last day bc stuff was sold out and I probably would’ve spent $$ I didn’t have on some of these rad shirts/posters haha

-went to a panel on Queer Films, which I kind of thought would be more of like a presentation/discussion on the history of films but it was more about how to get them made/how hard it is to do that. The panelists and moderator were great, though, and had some great insights. Specifically, the producer of “Elena Undone” (which I admit I could not finish but deeply wanted to like) talked about how you have to do the best with what you have bc sometimes you just can’t raise the money you want/need to get the film you’d really like bc people don’t like to finance lesbian films and that was kind of humbling to keep in mind

-rounded it all out by watching DEBS, obviously one of the greatest films of all time. Highlight: there were a lot of older women at the con, which was really wonderful to see, and 2 of them were sitting behind me. One said to the other, “I wasn’t sure I was going to come to this but these kids downstairs said ‘oh you totally have to go.’ Well, one said, ‘you “totes” have to,’ which I took to mean ‘totally.’” It was great to hear them laughing behind me the whole time! WHAT AN ICONIC MOVIE.

-I got to eat at Cafe Rio which is always ALWAYS A PLUS

Anyway, wow, what a fantastic weekend. I feel so, so lucky that I was able to go and meet so many amazing people and hear so many amazing people and be surrounded by the love. I never ever thought I’d go to a con - not for any condescending reason, just bc I never thought there was enough I’d ever be interested in to make it worth attending. But this? Wow. Tailor-made for me - for so many of us. If I had a wish then it would be that we could all go to Clexacon next year!

/is it next year yet

#clexacon #personal #ramble

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