#this also took over a week to write out so I hope my incoherent ramblings make sense

[crystallinecardinal]

So I was thinking about Starlo and Chujin

Hi. I love overanalysis. It’s in my blog title as “lore enthusiast.” Most of this probably means nothing and was unintentional, but I’m like an English teacher when it comes to media I like and am scrounging for canon content— I will see something that might have capital I Implications if you think about it hard enough, and I will shake you by the shoulders and go “WHAT DOES IT MEAAAN”

Which brings me to Starlo and Chujin and a thing I noticed while looking through the Spriter’s Resource for Starlo references. Long rant and UTY spoilers below the cut.

I should start off by saying that Starlo and Chujin are similar, in a way. Both of them are nerds, although for different things. Both are said to be caring. Both dedicated their lives to their work. Both wanted to help monsterkind. Both loved Ceroba. Both had secrets.

These similarities have not gone unnoticed, I’ve found— both by the fandom and the devs of UTY.

(Transcript:

Sword: “It does make sense that, like, Chujin and Starlo are kinda similar, and Ceroba, yknow…. She has a type, I guess.”)

So it’s not a secret these two are similar, and it’s probably intentional to make them parallel each other.

But from there, we get to the meat of this post:

These sprites.

This is where I dive into a lot of overanalysis— I’m giving that as a warning before I start. My point here though, is that these two sprites feel incredibly similar in a way where I speculate if it was intentional or not.

I’ll play devil’s advocate first, though. I’m an artist. I draw things, mostly characters and creatures. Sometimes you just have two pieces looking similar— not because you intended it that way, but because the blocking and composition was best that way.

For Starlo’s sprite, the answer feels simple. All of Starlo’s talk portraits are front facing, so this one doesn’t have a need to be any different. If it was, it may feel out of place amongst all the other sprites, especially because there isn’t a reason for him to have this sprite in particular face a different direction. He isn’t looking around, and isn’t averting his gaze. He’s being direct. The best way to convey that is with eye contact (or at least, implied eye contact) via a front facing sprite. Additionally, even if Starlo was averting his gaze, with how UT’s talk sprites work, there are better ways to convey that than changing the way his talk sprite faces.

Starlo’s character as himself also contributes to the way this sprite looks. It’s a direct contrast to the loud, boisterous North Star. This is the monster behind the persona— one who’s a lot less confident, one who thinks himself a ghost to the people around him. A “nobody farmer,” in his words. When trying to get this across, art-wise, the way Starlo’s talk sprites look as opposed to North Star’s talk sprites are a perfect fit! It’s in the subtle expressions versus animated expressions. This is even down to how Starlo’s glasses are drawn, not showing his eyes behind them, giving him a much more distant look.

As for Chujin’s sprite, the answer also feels fairly simple. The sprite pictured earlier was for his tapes, where it would make sense for most of his sprites to be front facing. He’s talking to the camera, it’s a video log. Being silhouetted also works here— it makes him more mysterious in a way.

That’s what I have to say if you look at it JUST from an art point. However, we like to be a little silly in this house (my blog), so I’m going to overanalyze the hell out of this.

So. The pose.

I’m probably going insane at this point. I’ve already explained the most likely reason for the poses being similar, and don’t get me wrong, that’s probably the main reason why. But also— note the eyes.

According to the Spriter’s Resource, Chujin’s sprites usually have his eyes visible from behind his goggles.

But.

There are exceptions.

I think the reason for this lies in the same reason we never see Starlo’s eyes behind his glasses after he takes the hat off. I explained this earlier when discussing the artistic reasoning behind these sprites— not seeing Starlo’s eyes makes him appear more distant, which highlights the part of his character that’s much less confident in himself. We go from seeing his eyes (or at least, the shape of them behind his glasses, this is a consistency with UTY sprites I can talk about later) to not at all.

This is what makes Chujin’s sprites so important to me.

We’re meant to like Chujin. At least, before we know the truth. We’re meant to think he was always a kindhearted man, a loving father and husband, and a good mentor. All the good things. It’s only as the game continues that you see the imperfections. By talking to Dina, you see he didn’t like the Wild East due to what it stood for, and you learn of the time he came into the saloon all disheveled, uncharacteristically asking for a drink, only mentioning he thought he “saw a ghost”. You learn in the Steamworks of his research, and how he wasn’t as good at robotics as he was made out to be.

That’s what makes Chujin flawed, though. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, none of these things will make a player dislike him. As said— we’re supposed to like Chujin. An opinion and a mysterious saloon visit isn’t the end of the world. We also grow to learn more and more about him, and he seems just like a kind man with a love for robotics (even if he struggled).

And then we learn of Ceroba’s plan. And we learn of something hidden in the abandoned Ketsukane Estate.

This is the first time in the Pacifist route that we actually SEE Chujin, first in a photo.

Note the eyes.

We see Chujin’s eyes behind his goggles here! Once again— this is likely for the reason mentioned before. We’ve only been told mostly good things about Chujin so far! Here’s a photo of him and his family— how could this kind man be wrapped in anything suspicious?

Which then makes the sudden change in the tapes crucial.

We can no longer see his eyes— he’s grown distant, mysterious. This is the part of Chujin that he kept secret from even Ceroba, up until he was on his deathbed. It’s the part of him that isn’t necessarily the loving husband and father we know him as, but rather, this is the part of him that was a determined researcher on a mission. And therefore, Chujin goes from lively to cold.

I’m sure that last bit doesn’t ring any alarm bells at all.

Hey! Remember how I said Starlo and Chujin are similar in ways? This is where I get into that. I’m applauding you from behind my screen if you’re still reading.

I’m now going to talk about Starlo and Chujin as characters, as well as the parallels between the two sprites that started this analysis. For simplicity, I’ll break these into sections. Funky names for a funky reading experience, so I’m not just word dumping at you.

1) Got a secret, can you keep it?

Soooo. Chujin and Starlo’s secrets.

One of the first things that rings alarm bells for me is the situation in which both of the sprites I’m analyzing pop up in. Context is key. Specifically, both of the sprites are used when we’re learning the truth about each character.

For Starlo, we’re learning about who he really is, the monster behind the persona. He takes his hat off, reveals the monster underneath, and we get his new talk sprite. He’s finally stopping, for a second— taking a moment to break the act he’s been playing for YEARS. And he does it all to show Ceroba he’s still there underneath it all, as well as reveal to Clover who he really is. He’s at his most vulnerable state, revealing how he sees himself as a nobody, and a fraud.

For Chujin, we’re learning part of the truth of who he was, when he’s at his most morally dubious. We learn of his experiments, the ones he worked on and hid from his family until he was about to die— only then did he tell Ceroba. We also learn of his views and opinions, the reasoning behind them, and how he lied about his job at the Steamworks. He couldn’t bring himself to tell Ceroba he was fired, because he didn’t want her to think less of him.

So, the main points of this:

Starlo and Chujin both had their own secrets

Both of their secrets are revealed when these sprites are used

Both secrets reveal more about the characters’ identities

Both want to be seen in a good light

The main difference, I think, other than what the secrets entail themselves, are what they mean for each character.

2) Light and dark symbolism?? In MY overanalysis??? It’s more likely than you think

Chujin and Starlo’s secrets both weigh on them. Starlo doesn’t want to break character— he enjoys being North Star and wants to bring a smile to the faces of monsterkind. Chujin doesn’t want Ceroba to think any lesser of him for his mistakes.

Additionally, the reveal of their secrets marks two different things for their characters. For Starlo, it’s a step forward. For Chujin, it’s spiraling down.

This gets really fun considering these two sprites, and light and dark symbolism (not in the traditional good versus evil way).

Starlo’s in the light. He’s showing himself, he’s maturing. He’s being incredibly vulnerable for probably the first time in a LONG time, and finally breaking the persona. He’s working towards a better goal, accepting both North Star and Starlo as facets of himself, but it starts with taking off the hat. It starts with coming into the light, and letting the shadows fade away.

Chujin is silhouetted in darkness. As said previously, we only ever hear mostly good things about Chujin from those who were around him (barring Starlo, although that’s secondhand information, and by some extent, Dina). Martlet and Ceroba saw the best in him, a mentor and loving husband respectively. But as he rambles off to his tapes, shrouded in shadow and secrecy, we learn of what was happening behind the scenes: he reveals part of who he really was, and how much he hid away from those he loved, all away from the rose colored glasses.

3) “Your opinion is wrong” -Chujin, probably

To just point out more ways Chujin and Starlo parallel yet also contrast one another (which I will mention for the section after this as well): I think it goes without saying that Starlo and Chujin have opposite worldviews when it comes to humans.

Chujin believes the worst in humans, primarily due to the Snowdin Attack. He hates them— The War was when the blade was plunged into monsterkind’s flesh, and the Snowdin Attack was only a twist of the knife.

Starlo admires humans, maybe a bit too much for some monsters. He loves their stories, loves the idea of cowboys and Westerns, so much so he creates the Wild East with his posse.

This is what makes these two different, only strengthening the light/dark contrast. The ideas of hate and admiration fit well into that theme, don’t they?

Stick with me here. I promise this is going somewhere.

4) “Monsterkind’s Hero is a title soaked in blood.”

So, the aforementioned views of humans? This gets really fun when you apply it to the crux of Starlo and Chujin’s missions: to help monsterkind during their time underground.

Both want to be heroes, in a way. They both want to help. Of course, this is in different ways— but the main intention behind it is the same.

Chujin, as said, hates humans. He wants monsters to be brought to justice. After the Snowdin Attack, he decides that if he can’t help through Axis, then he’ll help another way. Thus starts Chujin’s dedication to his experiments, which he makes his work and eventually the rest of his life. All of it for a chance to help monsterkind when the time comes.

Starlo’s dedication to the Wild East is similar, in a way, yet directly contrasts Chujin. His admiration for humans and Westerns goes to the point he wants to provide monsterkind with their own “slice of the Surface.” He wants to see those around him smile— his own way of helping monsterkind when they’re still stuck underground.

My point here is that while they find different ways to accomplish their missions (and you can drag more light/dark symbolism out of this— Chujin hidden away in the shadows of the basement in the Ketsukane Estate versus Starlo out in the spotlight), both have so much dedication to it that it becomes their lives.

Chujin, although having a family he loved and cared for, let his experiments drive him onwards to the point it cost him his life. Starlo willingly gave up who he was to be North Star, letting the Wild East become his life.

5) Yes, and?

I could go on and on about more similarities and differences between Starlo and Chujin, but I feel like I’ve brought up what I need to for now.

Why bring all of this up in the first place, though? What’s the point of going on about these characters’ missions, or their secrets, or all the light and dark symbolism you could hypothetically draw from it?

Let me talk about those sprites again.

I’ve spent ages going on about Starlo and Chujin, and how they parallel, yet contrast each other. They’re foils, in a way. These similarities and differences are what make these two little sprites so interesting to me.

You could say it’s all because that’s what the scene needed at the time, and that statement likely has truth to it. I already talked about how. But the knowledge of the context of the scenes and these two characters is what makes me wonder if it all was done on purpose.

Chujin, shrouded in shadow, revealing a part of him kept secret from even those he loved most. His reasoning for his hatred for humans comes on full display, and he begins to formulate a mission, the same one his life would eventually fall to. If the royals won’t see how much he cares for monsterkind, he’ll show it himself.

Starlo, left in the Swealterstone’s light, revealing a part of him the Wild East knows nothing of. His mission starts to redefine itself, and it’s original intent becomes more clear. He only ever wanted to be someone. He only ever wanted to help. Maybe now, with the hat off, he can learn to make others happy, but not forget himself in the process.

A conclusion:

So. Do I think that these two sprites for Starlo and Chujin were intentionally made to parallel yet also contrast each other?

My answer is a big fat Maybe. I can’t be entirely sure.

Truth is, I’m not a UTY dev. I literally only discovered and got into this game a little over a month ago. I don’t know the true intent behind the spritework, I don’t know the conversations that happened behind the scenes. I am literally just A Guy ranting on the internet about a silly little fangame that I have brainrot over.

But! I do have a finalized game and commentary I can analyze, and knowing that some spritework details were intentional (the way that Chujin’s talk sprites face are made to match Ceroba and Kanako’s), I could see something like this being either intentional or a really fun coincidence. The type of thing the devs can look back on and realize “oh! That’s funny how I accidentally made that parallel. I didn’t mean to do that, but it works.”

I can only hope it was intentional. Chujin and Starlo are both incredibly interesting characters to me, especially in how they can be seen as foils. Something as minor as this I think just shows the love put into this game and these characters. UTY is just a great game overall, in my opinion.

But yeah! That’s my ramble, all because I was doing sprite studies and looking for references in the Spriter’s Resource for art. Hopefully I made at least some sense :)

[gubler-me-up]

No Need to Rush

Request: can u pls do a spencer x bau fem! reader where she’s dyslexic but also a genius like spencer and like someone maybe another member of the team/unsub makes a comment abt her being stupid. and she gets really upset abt it. then later spencer comforts her and they have really romantic but rough sex. where he’s just like reassuring her of how smart and beautiful she is.

A/N: Thanks for the request, anon! Sorry this took a lil long to complete but I wanted to make sure I wrote this accurately and incorporate everything you wanted into it! Please let me know if you don’t feel as if this representation of dyslexia sits right with you and I will edit it no problem. This fic also concludes smut week (woo!) so I hope you enjoy 💓 

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!reader

Category: Smut

Content warning: Learning disorder degradation, mentions of violence, rough sex, fingering, penetrative sex, creampie, choking

Word count: 3.2k

-------------

It was the dead of winter in Seattle, Washington and a sniper decided it was the best time to have some target practice. His target practice ended up taking three innocent people’s lives as they were living their day-to-day lives. To top off his killing spree, he wrote handwritten letters to the police department. His letters were rambles about him not stopping until he finds his final target.

Hotch had left Spencer and you to go over the letters to try and figure out any indications of who his final target could be. He had sent JJ and Morgan to interview the victim’s family members to try and see if there were any similar people in their circle. Having you four working diligently on piecing the entire story together could end up saving another person from meeting an early demise.

You loved working with Spencer because the two of you were always up to speed with your thinking process. Both of you analyzed each letter with care, making sure nothing was missed which could possibly be used as a clue in identifying who this person and who their real target is.

You felt as if you were taking too long to go through every letter. There were about 20 of them and his incoherent rambles were giving you a hard time efficiently reading them. You had 10 to go through and Spencer was already finished and writing on the whiteboard clues he found in the letters. You were still on your seventh letter, dissecting and writing down what you thought was important. You couldn’t help feeling bad you were taking a long time.

“I’m sorry,” you said.

Spencer looked back at you with a questionable expression. “For what?”

“For taking forever. I’m taking up time reading these letters when I should be brainstorming with you.”

“Y/N, you’re not slowing down the process. If anything you taking your time can identify some major evidence.”

“Yeah, but you could do it within two minutes.”

“Doesn’t mean anything. Valuable information is valuable information no matter how long it takes you to find it. Besides you’re the smartest person I know, so nothing will get past you.”

“Doesn’t feel like it sometimes.”

“I’m here to remind you it’s all the time. I’ll be here to remind you every day if you ever doubt yourself.”

You smiled as you felt your worries drifting away. You were always self-conscious about having dyslexia. Growing up with it was the hardest part of your early years because people would see your extraordinary capabilities but questioned them whenever you had to read or spending longer than usual completing tasks. It was embarrassing for you. Even in adulthood you felt anxious about letting people know you were dyslexic because you were worried they wouldn’t see you as a genius.

When you let the members of the team know you were dyslexic, they accepted you as you were. It made you feel welcomed and understood for once in the longest while. It was especially nice hearing Spencer say you were a genius regardless of your dyslexia. You felt as if he understood you the most out of everyone because he had a rough time growing up as a child prodigy.

As you continued to read through the letter you were on, something caught your eye. You looked up at the whiteboard to see what Spencer had written. He had written about sunsets, trees and a park. He had concluded it was about Kerry Park in Seattle and speculated the unsub could possibly live near there. What you had read though made you think of a different possibility.

“Kelly Park,” you said aloud.

Spencer turned to you. “Kelly Park?”

Before you could explain your findings, Hotch and detective Royce entered the room. You were happy they did, so you could explain to everyone your theory as to who the unsays actual target is.

“Find any useful information we can put towards finding the unsub?” Hotch asked.

You nodded. “Yes. Kelly Park’s the end goal.”

“Kelly Park? You mean Kerry Park by West Highland,” detective Royce said.

“No, I mean, yes, but the unsub slipped up…uh no, they-uh- replaced Kelly with Kerry because there is a Kelly Park who lives nearby,” you explained.

“Wait, so is it Kerry or Kelly the name of the person who lives nearby Kerry’s Park?” Hotch asked.

“Sorry, sir. It’s Kelly Park who lives nearby Kerry’s Park.”

“How can you even speculate that?” Detective Royce asked.

“Because it’s in this letter. He says, ‘I spend my days looking at Kelly Park and wondering when I’d be brave enough to leave. I don’t think I am but one day I’ll be free,’” you said while holding it up.

Detective Royce took it from your hand to take a closer look. He furrowed his eyebrows as he read. He looked back up at you questionably.

“Maybe he’s dyslexic. Only an idiot would write Kelly instead of Kerry when referring to Kerry Park,” he said.

You clenched your jaw as he said his ignorant statement. You knew the unsub wasn’t dyslexic and you had a clue right infant of you. You snatched the letter away from his hands as you took a deep breath to calm yourself down.

“I’m actually dyslexic myself and I can tell you right now this unsub is not,” you said.

“I should have known from the time you mixed up Kerry and Kelly in your explanation. For a genius you sure don’t talk like one,” he said.

You felt your eyes stinging from the tears which were trying to breakthrough. What he said was familiar to everything you heard from your childhood. It was degrading to hear it when you knew you were on to something. Especially evidence which could potentially save someone.

“Don’t talk to one of my agents with such disrespect, Royce. My team and I would never slander your team, so we expect the same courtesy back,” Hotch said.

“Hotchner, you can’t seriously believe this is a connection,” detective Royce said.

“Who said it couldn’t be?” Spencer said.

“Common sense. He’s trying to mess up his words on purpose to take us off track from what really matters,” detective Royce said.

“Well, I’m not taking that risk. While you stand there with your arro…ignorance, I’ll actually go and do something about this piece of evidence,” you said as you walked by him to exit the room.

You could feel your heart drop with every step you took. Before you called Garcia you took a trip to the washroom. You went into a stall and made sure it was locked before you let your tears escape. You hadn’t felt humiliated for the longest time. The questionable look and harsh comments detective Royce spat at you made you feel sick. You knew you were smart and you knew you were onto evidence to save someone’s life. Yet you were doubted.

You wiped your tears away and took a few deep breaths before exiting the stall. You couldn’t let what he said distract you from finding Kelly Royce. You knew it would affect you for the rest of the day but you would sleep better at night knowing you saved a life. You didn’t want to be crying over two things tonight.

------

You sat on the edge of the hotel room bed. You had finished getting ready for the night and were ready to get into bed to forget about the day. You were happy you were right about Kelly Park and saved her hours before she was scheduled to go into the heart of Seattle for an appointment. Her ex-boyfriend, Michael Richards, had plotted for months on how to make her death look like an accident. Too bad his guilty conscience and ego didn’t mix well and he compulsively wrote down his thoughts.

It bothered you immensely detective Royce still didn’t give you your flowers at the end of everything. You understood not everyone would apologize for their ignorance and you should be used to it by now. However, you couldn’t help but think about it over and over.

You heard a few light knocks on your hotel room door. You looked at the clock. It was 11 p.m. You got up to go peek through the peephole to see who was trying to get your attention this time of night. You looked through the peephole and saw Spencer standing outside. You opened the door. As you opened it he looked at you with a smile but you could see the concern in his eyes.

“What brings you to this part of town so late?” You asked.

“I want to make sure you’re okay before you go to bed. I know how frustrating today was for you and I don’t want you going to bed with doubt on your mind,” he explained.

You stepped aside and gestured him to come inside your hotel room. You were happy he had stopped by. He was always the first one to give you words of encouragement and a reason to put your doubts aside. You closed the door and made your way over to the edge of the bed to sit. You patted the spot next to you for him to sit down. He took the seat next to you, sitting closer to you than expected. You two were shoulder to shoulder and thigh to thigh. It was comforting to you for him to be so close.

“You know, if it wasn’t for you pointing out Kelly Park in his letter, she might not be alive,” he said.

“I know and I’m glad it worked out in the end. I just…”

You trailed off as a wave of doubt overthrew your thought process. You started to think if you had been wrong, if it were just your dyslexia getting the best of you, an innocent life could have been taken. A tear slipped from your right eye. You quickly wiped it away before Spencer saw. He must have seen it escape because he placed his hand on your thigh and squeezed it.

“You have a beautiful mind, Y/N,” he assured you.

“It doesn’t translate properly when I say the wrong words, read slower than average, mix up-”

“And all that doesn’t make a difference to how you save lives every day. If detective Royce wasn’t so prideful he would have thanked you properly for bringing to light what they brushed off,” he said.

You chuckled. “Yeah, he is a prideful idiot.”

“Exactly, so don’t let him or other doubters get to you. I believe in you wholeheartedly and always will. The team does as well, so we’ll always back you up.”

You smiled brightly at him as you felt your deep sadness fade away. He had such a way with words you felt as if you could rule the world solely based on his encouragement. You opened up your arms and embraced him in a hug. He wrapped his arms around the small of your back. He rubbed your back gently as you placed your head comfortably in the crook of his neck.

“I love how you’re always here for me, Spence,” you whispered into his neck.

“I’ll always be here to remind you of your worth and beauty,” he said.

You leaned up from his neck and faced him straight on. Your faces were just an inch away from each other as you lost yourself in his eyes. You softly smiled and found yourself saying things before your brain could process them.

“I could just kiss you right now,” you blurted out.

“Why don’t you?” He asked.

You were now speechless as you weren’t expecting him to be open to the idea. Perhaps he did find more than just your mind to be beautiful. One of his hands moved from your back and found its way to the side of your face. He moved your face closer to his and your lips finally met each other. He gently eased his tongue into your mouth before he dived fully into your mouth.

You placed your hands on his chest. You pulled on his shirt to bring him forward even more to minimize the space between you two. He moved his hands and placed them both on your hip. He brought you onto his lap without breaking your kiss. You glued your hands to his face to prevent him from even considering moving away from you. His hands squeezed before slipping his hands down your pyjama pants.

You didn’t give it a second thought and raised yourself off his hips so he could pull your pants off along with your underwear. He leaned away from your lips as he stared at you with a deep yearning in his eyes. He caressed his hands up your thighs, to your hips and then under your shirt. He pulled your shirt off to reveal your bare breasts.

“I hope you like what you see,” you said.

He smiled. “Of course. You’re beautiful beyond words.”

He then placed your right nipple in his mouth and swirled his tongue around your nipple. You moaned loudly as his tongue made your nipple feel a stimulation you never thought they could feel. He freed your nipple from his mouth as he quietly hushed you.

“We can’t let anyone know where in the same room together,” he whispered.

“I don’t care,” you said as you desperately leaned into him to steal another kiss.

He kissed you back. You held his head in place so he wouldn’t dare move away from you again. You soon felt his thumb circling around your clit. It wasn’t enough to make you stop kissing him but it made you release endless moans into his mouth. You then felt him shove two fingers into you which made you stop kissing him and set your moans free into the atmosphere. He pumped his fingers in and out of you so quickly you couldn’t find the time to catch your breath.

“If you can’t handle my fingers, how do you expect to handle my dick, beautiful?” He asked.

“I…I can,” you stammered.

He smiled. “I haven’t doubted you yet, have I??”

He took his fingers out of you and went to work on undoing his pants. You stared down at his huge bulge as he slipped down his pants and then his underwear. Your eyes widened as you saw his dick. He looked at you to see the amazement in your eyes. He softly chuckled as he grabbed your ass and squeezed it tight as he brought you forward to position you.

“Sit down on it and try not to be too loud,” he demanded.

You did what he asked and lowered yourself onto his dick. The further you went beyond the tip the more your mouth went agape. You could barely even get to the base without feeling as if his dick was already completely inside of you. He did you the favour and forced you all the way down on his dick. You let out a shriek which was cut short by him sticking his two fingers coated in your juices inside your mouth.

“Bounce on it and don’t make a sound. Understand?” He asked.

He nodded your head ‘yes’ for you and you started bouncing on his dick. You could feel your legs quaking as you engulfed his dick in and out of your repeatedly. Once you established a rhythm, you rolled your eyes to the back of your head and enjoyed every inch of his dick stretching your walls.

“How about we pick up the pace?” He asked.

Your eyes shot open as he bucked his hips up and disrupted your rhythm with his new set motion. You moaned heavily around his fingers as his dick kept ramming into you with no mercy. He used his other hand and squeezed your left breast. He licked your breasts before gently biting your nipple.

“Fuck,” you moaned.

“I only ever treat extraordinary women like this,” he said.

“Really?” You moaned.

He lifted you off his dick and laid you on the bed. He gently wrapped his large hands around your throat as he positioned himself on top of you. You could feel your adrenaline pumping as he lowered his face down to yours and kissed you softly on your lips before he stared into your eyes.

“You’re the only extraordinary woman I know,” he said.

“Fuck me like an extraordinary woman,” you said.

He obliged and rammed his dick into you with urgency. You moaned repeatedly as you took in every inch of his dick inside of you. He kissed along your jawline before reaching your ear.

“Who gets fucked like this?” He asked.

“Extraordinary women,” you whimpered.

“And what are you?” He asked.

“An extraordinary woman,” you whimpered.

As he continued to fuck some sense into you, he whispered nothing but the sweetest things in your ear. He called you beautiful, brilliant, amazing and his favourite, extraordinary. It felt nice hearing those things being repeated over and over in your ear especially by him. His dick definitely enforced the message as with every word he said to you, his motion would intensify. You wrapped your legs around him as he continued to fuck you.

“Where do you want me to cum, beautiful?” He asked.

“Inside of me,” you moaned.

He tightened the grip around your neck. “Louder.”

“Inside of me,” you shrieked.

“Look at me while I cum inside of you,” he demanded.

He grabbed your face to keep you still so your eyes were focused on him the whole time. He bit his bottom lip as he stared at your worn-out expression as he fucked you. He slowly stopped going at his rapid pace and soon stopped. You felt his cum fill your insides and you let out a soft moan at the feeling.

He let go of your neck and eased up from on top of you. You felt him stick two fingers in you and he pulled them out quickly. He placed his cum covered fingers on your lips. You opened your mouth and licked the cum dripping off his fingers.

“I don’t ever want you to doubt yourself again. You’re fucking amazing,” he said.

You leaned up on your elbows and smiled. “You are too.”

“Since I can’t stay in your room for the night without raising suspicions in the morning, how about we do something when we get back home and you can stay the night at my place? You know, for extra reassurance,” he said with a smile.

You giggled. “I’d love that.”

He leaned into you and gave you another big kiss on the lips. As he parted from your lips he stared at you with softer eyes from before and brushed your hair back.

“Maybe I��ll stay for a few more minutes. You like cuddles?” He asked.

“I love them,” you said.

He chuckled. “Great because I have a deep desire to cuddle you and make you know you’re treasured.”

You could have cried when he said that. Instead you wrapped your arms around his neck and pecked him on the lips. It wasn’t the best time to cry. You wanted to cherish the moment as a positive part of the day.

“Thank you, Spence. You’re extraordinary.”

“I guess that makes us a perfect match.”

“It sure does.”

—–

Tagged: @shadyladyperfection​, @slutforthegubes​, @pinkdiamond1016​, @spencerreidsthings​, @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto​, @slutforsr​ @bxtchboy69​, @fallinallinmendes​

MASTERLIST

[flightlessangelwings]

Always the Laundry

Marcus Moreno x gn!reader (no pronouns, no y/n)

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: Fluff, protective!Marcus, kissing, heated making out, shirtless, Marcus being the best boyfriend, Missy being the best kid

Notes: Written for @autumnleaves1991-blog​ Writer Wednesday. I saw the photo and immediately thought Laundry Day Series! This works as part of the series, but can also be read on its own. I need to get back into writing more of this series cause I really do miss it and I have a few more parts planned out, so look forward to that coming soon and enjoy this for now! Graphic made by me.

~

It was a quiet afternoon at Heroics Headquarters and Marcus slumped down onto his desk with a heavy sigh. The morning had started with a threat of an emergency, but after Marcus sent a team to investigate, it turned out to be nothing. After the rush of adrenaline wore off, the Heroics leader found his thoughts drifted over to you. He wondered what you were up to this afternoon, and when he would see you next.

The two of you hadn’t been dating long, only a couple months, but Marcus felt a deep connection and attraction to you that he hadn’t felt since his late wife. You both agreed to take things slow, which worked best for both of you, but Marcus quickly found that he had deeper feelings even after a short time. He forced himself to hold back, however, and wait until you were ready to take the next step in your relationship. He would wait, though, as long as you needed.

Just as a smile flashed across his face at the thought of you, Marcus’ phone rang. His grin grew wider when it was your name on the screen, and he welcomed the distraction from the quiet of headquarters today, “Hey baby,” Marcus answered with a pep in his tone.

On the other end of the line, you breathed heavily and your voice was shaky, “Marcus?”

He immediately went on alert and stood up when he heard the panic in your voice, “What’s wrong? Are you ok?”

You rambled incoherently for a minute before you spoke more clearly, “I’m sorry to call you at work, but I didn’t know what else to do…”

“Are you at home? Where are you?” Marcus cut you off before you could continue.

“Yeah…” you sounded so scared as you whispered into the phone.

“Stay there, I’ll be right over,” he couldn’t hide the way his voice wavered as a rush of fear ran through him. 

Without hesitation, Marcus gathered his things and his weapons and bolted out the door. As he jumped into his car, every possible scenario ran through his head as he thought the worst. What happened to scare you like that? Had someone figured out your connection to him and found you? Did they have you cornered in your house, trapped? Were you hurt? What if he couldn’t get to you in time?

Marcus made it to your place in record time and with his sword in his hand, he barreled through the door as he called out your name. But, instead of a disaster situation like he expected, your place was quiet. There didn’t seem to be any hint of break in or anything disastrous. He made his way into your place as he called your name again, “Baby?”

“In here Marcus,” you finally called back from the far end of your home.

The laundry room, Marcus thought as he quickly moved over to meet you. What he found, however, was not what he expected.

You looked flustered and overwhelmed, and your clothes were soaked. You were surrounded by piles of laundry all over the place as your washing machine shook and spewed water and soap everywhere. At least an inch of water flooded your small laundry room, and it took Marcus a moment to register that his feet were now wet as well. 

But, your face immediately softened when you saw your boyfriend in the doorway, “Marcus…” you breathed in relief and his shoulders finally dropped, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do and I was freaking out,” you gestured to the mess around you as he moved to be next to you.

“It’s alright,” he spoke in a soft, calming tone as he put his hand on your shoulder.

“This stupid machine,” you cursed, “It’s always spazzing out on me, but it’s never been this bad before,” you vented for another minute before you finally turned and met Marcus’ gaze. When you did, all the air left your lungs, “Marcus?”

“You scared me,” he admitted as those deep brown eyes looked into your own, “I thought something happened,” he squeezed your shoulder tighter before he pulled you in and wrapped his arms around you.

You let out a deep breath as you nuzzled yourself into his strong, comforting embrace, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” you sighed again as you tried to make a joke to comfort him the way his embrace comforted you, “I mean technically something did happen…”

Marcus hugged you tighter as he kissed the top of your head before he let out a soft chuckle, “Always the laundry with you, huh?” The two of you broke out into laughter as you both fondly thought back to the day you met at the laundromat. Marcus pepped light kisses all over you until he finally felt you were safe and pulled away to meet your eyes again, “I’ll help you clean this up and then we can go over to my place so you can finish your laundry.” He thought it best to take care of the immediate problem for now, and he could worry about your washer later.

Your eyes lit up as you clung to his sleeve, “Thank you, Marcus,” this time it was your turn to place a soft kiss to his lips.

“You never need to thank me, baby,” he replied as he smiled into the kiss. 

He wasted no time in helping you unplug the washing machine so that it stopped spewing water and together the two of you cleaned up the water that collected in the little room. Then, Marcus gathered all your laundry and carried it to his car for you and took you over to his house. Even though you insisted you could carry some of it, Marcus didn’t allow it. He genuinely enjoyed taking care of you and wanted to do anything he could for you, no matter how small.

“Your clothes are soaked too, babe,” he said with a grin after he put the first load into his washing machine.

Heat rushed to your face as you realized what he insinuated. You had gone on several dates over the past couple months, and the two of you made out like a couple of horny teenagers every time you saw each other, but things never went further than that at this point. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to, you wanted him more than anything, but you both agreed to take things slow for both of your comforts.

Just as Marcus was about to apologize for his comment, you grabbed at your shirt and slid it up off your body and stood before him more bare than you ever had before. Marcus’ mouth dropped open in awe as he just stared at you with wide eyes. His reaction just made you more flustered, but in a good way this time. 

Before you could say anything, Marcus closed the distance between your bodies and kissed you passionately. He took the shirt from your hand and tossed it to the floor before his arms wrapped around your waist. Marcus quickly deepened the kiss as he lifted you up and sat you on top of his washing machine. Momentarily shocked by the movement, you moaned into his mouth, which only encouraged him more. 

While you stayed locked in his kiss, your own hands roamed around his chest and tugged at his shirt. Wordlessly, you asked permission for him to take it off as well. And Marcus was more than happy to comply. He broke away from you for just a brief moment as he slipped his shirt off before he was right back on you.

Heat rose in the room as you and Marcus lost yourselves in each other. The kiss felt more intense than any before while your hands roamed all over each other’s bodies. You had never felt that much of his bare skin before, and you quickly found yourself craving more. And Marcus absolutely felt the same about you. No words were spoken, none were needed, just the sounds of your lips against each other and soft moans from both of you filled the space. Marcus pressed his chest against yours enough so that you felt how hard his heart pounded in his chest, and you knew yours beat just as fast.

But, you two were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. You both broke away and were met with Missy in the doorway, her arms crossed as a playful, knowing smirk on her face.

“Missy!” Marcus scrambled and grabbed his shirt off the floor and used it to cover your body, “What are you doing home?”

“Because I live here,” she tried to play stern but she couldn’t help but laugh at the predicament she found when she walked in the door, “And school is done for the day.” Thankfully, it wasn’t Marcus’ turn for the carpool this week and a classmate’s mom brought Missy home.

At the same time, both you and Marcus tried to explain the situation with overlapping chatter. Missy couldn’t help but burst into laughter as she felt like the adult who just caught two teenagers making out, “Ok, ok, you don’t need to explain,” she threw her hands up in surrender as he turned to walk away, “Just lock the door next time, and keep track of the time! Geez!”

You and Marcus stood dumbfounded as she walked away. The two of you were stunned to silence for several long moments before you locked eyes again and erupted into laughter. Marcus reached out for a towel so you could better cover yourself for now and placed one last kiss to your lips as he did so, “She likes you,” he whispered.

Your eyes went wide, “Really?” you breathed in a hopeful tone.

“Really,” he confirmed with a wink, “And so do I,” Marcus cupped the side of your face.

You could have cried from the overwhelming emotions of just those few words, but you held yourself together. You placed a tender kiss on Marcus' nose as you spoke so softly, “I like you both too.” In that moment, both you and Marcus were grateful for your very faulty washing machine. 

[moonlilith]

POV

↬ Pairing: Sakusa Kiyoomi x reader

↬ Timeline: Timeskip

↬ Genre: Fluff ☁️

↬ Wordcount: 1,282

↬ AN: this is all for your skiyoomi’s simp (also me?) and is this self-indulge? Absolutely. Did I write this fic instead of writing my assignments? Absolutely, I wrote a short iwaoi for Twitter HQ angst week and this one. Do I want to baby kiyoomi? Absolutely. Am I obssesd over his moles? Absolutely as someone who has two moles on their nose. Is this a song fic? Absolutely so listen to POV by Ariana Grande Yuh!

       You tugged your mask that covered half your face opened, showing your face to the man standing between you and your beloved. He smiled when he saw your face, saying that the boys will be done in a few minutes more and greeted you with a warm smile. You nodded happily, tugging the mask open, one hand tight with a bottle of hand sanitizer.  

Just as you entered the familiar gym where the MSBY’s boys were at, Meian catches your sight first, running towards you having enough of whatever was going on with the loud snickers and growling. “Y/n!! You came at the right time; you must save Kiyoomi from murdering ‘Tsumu in cold blood.” He stifled a giggle as your expression didn’t even change.

Atsumu and Kiyoomi bickering everytime was a normal occurrence to you so you weren't that concerned at all. “AH!! Y/N-CHAN!!” Atsumu was the first one who spotted you first as he ran towards you in full speed, making you slightly panicked causing you to run sideways as fast as you could making you bump more into Meian who managed to catch you before you fell.  

    “Tsumu-chan, you scared them!” You heard Bokuto whined at Atsumu for you. You laughed as you thanked Meian and skipped ahead to where your 6 years and counting boyfriend stood. You watched silently as he just stared at you and you knew there was something amiss about him. “Go, take a shower, I’ll be waiting here.” You softly said to him and he nodded but his pinky was lingering on yours longer than usual.  

He went first and you turned towards Hinata who had a curt smile on his face, knowing that you’ll ask him. “What ticked him off?” He nervously glanced at Atsumu but the smile was still plastered on his face. You sighed thanking him before urging him to the showers, keeping your gaze on Atsumu who was laughing with Bokuto. It must have been something that Atsumu questioned and had said that made Kiyoomi like that.  

You stared at the rearview mirror, your eyes catching Kiyoomi’s as he drives in silent with the radio accompanied you guys on your journey back home. “How was your day?” Your eyes glistened, usually after telling him how your days went, he would tell you, his but today he just kept to himself and it raised your suspicion even more when one of his hands were on your thighs. It’s not like you minded his hand on your body, but it was just unusual for you.  

He sat there eating his dinner in silence as you rambled on about your day and things that seemed interseting. Kiyoomi wasn’t much of a talker but this volume of silence is enough for you to know that he was overthinking somethings. Was it something about volleyball? You wondered silently but shook your head since you knew Kiyoomi is confident in his abilities and he isn't one to be swallowed in his weaknesses and instead focus on improving himself.  

“You know that I love you right?” He had said suddenly while you were doing the dishes that you almost dropped the mug that was in your hands. You stiffled a laughter, “Of course Oomi and I love you too.” You said without looking back at him standing near the kitchen island. “Y/n...” He called out to you again, but you only hummed in responses and thought nothing of it until you felt a hand sneaked to your waist, holding you tight. “I was afraid that you didn’t know.” He mumbled inaudibly but you managed to catch that.  

    You smile to yourself and realised. ‘Ah, Atsumu must have said something that made him doubt himself in regard to your relationship.’ Ofcourse you know how much Kiyoomi loves you. You’ve been with him since high school and you are definitely aware of his language of love. You just wished that Kiyoomi can see in your point of view of how happy he made you. If there was a way for you to show your pov of his love to you, you would.

“Oh, Oomi” You softly cooed at him, taking his hand in yours as you led him to your vanity mirror. You let him sit at the stool where you usual sat when you get ready every morning. “What do you see Oomi?” One of your hands was on shoulders while the other was caressing his soft curls. He relaxed more under your touch, but his uncertainties only grew larger as both of you stared back at your reflection in the mirror.  

“Us?” He answered without much thought. “And look at my expression?” You asked again, smiling in the mirror as wide as you can to show him, hoping that he’ll get your message. “You’re smiling?” There were uncertainties in his voice, and you hated that. You hated that he doubts himself when it comes to loving you.  

“Yeah, I’m smiling." Your hand sneaked to tilt his head upwards to face you as you planted a soft kiss on his forehead once, “You want to know why I’m smiling?” He only hummed in response as your lips went towards the two moles kissing it softly as he closed his eyes, “Cause I’m with you.”  

Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough for Kiyoomi to lose his doubts. He kept thinking that you stayed with him just because you’ve become comfortable or was it that you had found comfort in his financial situation. He quickly shut out each ugly thought. He shouldn’t doubt you when you never really did anything for him to doubt for.  

    “Oomi!” You called out to him as he was more or else staring at the television rather than watching the news. You quickly switched the tv to the radio, as you held out your hands to him. He begrudgingly wondered what you were doing but still took your hand anyway. You positioned both his hand on your waist as yours went to his shoulders, swaying him from side to side, letting the music occupy the whole room.

“Tell me the things you love about me?” You whispered softly to him, your head resting on his chest but still slow dancing with him. “I think that it’s cool that somehow, you are fragile like glass. For that I can see through you.” He answered quizzically but you still urge him to continue. “More?” He let out incoherent noises of disapproving but still did as you said anyway.  

“Was that the wrong answer? Should I be more poetic?” He said but continued anyway, “I love that you somehow touch my soul? Like...this is embarrassing. You are not recording this or anything right?” You shook your head no, “Mm feeling down, I don’t like myself.” You lied. He sighs, “For you, I guess I’ll be an embarrassment. Like you are willing to permeate my ego and pride.”

“I love your mouth?” He pauses, “It somehow just says things that we both are afraid to say.” He continued, “I want you to love yourself like I love every inch of you. From my point of view, you’re perfect.” He ended it with a kiss on top of your head, resting them on yours.  

“See, Oomi.” You cupped his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you, “I want you to see things from my point of view too. I want you to know that you always make me feel love, and never once had I doubted whether you truly love me or not. So, see your love from my point of view too.” You smiled as he closed the gap between you two, kissing you. “Thank you,” He smiled.

[chrwrites]

SOFTober day 30: Blanket

This is my first attempt at writing dad Luka and family fluff, I hope you like it!

Also, there's a reference to someone else's beautiful fic in this one and I hope you guess what it is 👀 (if not don't worry, I linked it at the end of the work!)

And if you want to read the story on ao3 along with my silly notes here's the link! I hope you like it 💖

Luka was welcomed by the sound of tiny footsteps tapping on the hardwood floor as soon as he entered the house, “Papa!” Harmony called, running towards him and hugging his legs. Luka chuckled, lowering himself to hug his little daughter and greet her, “Hello, mon cœur”, he ruffled her hair when he got up, and let her ramble about her day as he took his jacket and shoes off.

He could hear the sound of the TV coming from the living room, and not seeing Marinette greet him along with their daughter made him suspicious, she had probably gotten lost working on a new project and made Harmony come greet him instead.

“Where's Maman?”, he asked after he picked his daughter up in his arms.

“We were watching Elsa and now she’s sleeping”, she said as he walked towards the living room. The TV was on, showing Harmony’s favourite movie, and Luka found his wife sitting on the couch, head tilted on one side and eyes closed. Her tablet was dangerously balanced on her bump, one hand resting by her side and still holding the digital pen she had been using, there were papers and crayons scattered on the coffee table in front of her and Harmony’s toys were out of their chest and all over the carpet.

“I gave Maman my blankie”, Harmony whispered pointing at her. The small blue and pink blanket Marinette had knitted during her first pregnancy was falling from her shoulders, and he smiled fondly thinking about his daughter climbing on the couch to put it on her mother while she was asleep.

“Well done, little one”, Luka cooed, “We should take Maman to bed, do you want to help me?”.

His question made Harmony nod vigorously, the big blue eyes that resembled her mother’s were sparkling with enthusiasm, showing her eagerness to help her Papa. He instructed her to put her toys in the chest before he carefully picked Marinette up and walked to their bedroom. She nuzzled her head on his chest, garbling some incoherent words when he tucked her into the covers and turned around, her bump sticking out under the covers. He couldn't control the soft expression that appeared on his face as he admired her figure.

This pregnancy was rougher than the first one, and it almost being at the end meant that she always felt tired and drowsy. He wasn't surprised to find her asleep among her projects, it was something she did even before they got together, but he still wanted her to take care of herself and be there for her as much as he could. He pressed a kiss on her forehead before leaving the room and he smiled when he heard her hum softly at his touch.

After he left the room, he found Harmony sitting with her legs crossed in front of the TV, some of her toys were still scattered around the room and she was holding her ice queen doll to her chest. He put away Harmony’s toys before collecting Marinette’s papers and supplies from the coffee table. Some very colourful drawings were topping Marinette’s work, and Luka found himself grinning widely as he looked through his daughter’s works, his heart filling with warmth and pride at the smiling figures that represented their family.

He stashed her drawings on the top of Marinette’s sketches and put them away before walking to Harmony, "Do you want to help Papa make dinner?". The little girl quickly got up to her feet, and giggled when he picked her up and settled her on the kitchen counter.

She accepted the peeled carrot Luka offered, and they waited for the water to boil before he helped her pour the pasta in the pot. When it was done, he allowed Harmony to add the sauce to the pasta and smiled proudly after hearing her say that she did it just like Maman.

They left some pasta for Marinette in case she woke up and craved some, and sat on the table to eat quietly. Harmony later helped him load the dishwasher and they shared a high five for getting their chores done for the day. The little girl cheered when he suggested for her to have a bath and ran towards the bathroom, Luka he couldn't help but laugh as he followed her and pretended not to be able to catch her, "You're too fast!", he said faking a breathless sigh when he caught her and started tickling her. Harmony giggled, squirming in his arms so she could free herself. She walked off to grab her pink bottle of soap when he let her go, and poured it in the tub as soon as Luka had the water running. He watched over his daughter creating scenarios with her mermaids and rubber toys and happily singing the songs from her favourite movies. She laughed as she blew the bubbles in her hands to his direction, and when Luka finally managed to get her out of the water his t-shirt was soaked, Harmony's eyes twinkling with mischief as she changed into clean pyjamas and Luka grabbed a clean t-shirt before he blow dried her dark hair.

"Papa, can you tell me the story about the prince and the lady that in reality is the princess?", Harmony asked when he tucked her to bed.

"Sure", he said, and he launched into the enthralling tale of a prince who had never seen the ocean and his betrothed princess, their fake identities, and the long journey that brought him and the princess' lady-in-waiting together. Harmony listened attentively, cheering when he enacted the scene where the protagonists fought against a group of brigants, and eyes twinkling when the prince and the princess confessed their real identities and got married.

By the time Luka reached the end of the story and the prince and the princess became king and queen, Harmony's eyelids were dropping and she yawned. Luka got up from her bed, adjusting the covers and pressing a small kiss on her forehead. He turned off the lights, and heard Harmony shift before he left the room, "Papa", she called, her voice low, "Will you stay tomorrow?". She was holding onto her pink and blue blanket close as if it would have protected her from a negative answer.

Luka felt his heart tighten in his chest, and tried to hide the flinch in his face with a soft smile. He hated being away for long as much as he hated hearing Harmony cry over the phone and say how much he missed her dad.

Now that he could take a break from touring to help Marinette with the future newborn and enjoy the time with his family he was determined to do so, but despite having been home for several weeks, Harmony would still look at him with sad eyes when she asked him the question, afraid he might answer that he would leave again and be away for a long time.

"Of course I will, ma petite fleur", he reassured. Harmony smiled, and raised her arms in order to hug him. Luka shuffled closer to her, sitting back on the bed and hugging her tight. She mumbled a “Love you, Papa” as she nuzzled to his side that made him feel as happy as the day she was born, and she fell asleep to a sweet lullaby he sang to her.

After making sure that Harmony was asleep, Luka finally got to bed, and Marinette shifted as he got inside the covers. It didn’t take long for her to realize where she was and let out a loud gasp as she stood up, “Oh my god, Harmony!” she screeched, worry clear in her voice. Luka put a hand on her shoulder to steady her, and he felt her relax a little under his touch, “Darling, if you scream any louder you'll wake her up”, he said softly, and Marinette sighed as she moved closer to him, “I-I fell asleep…”, she mumbled as Luka wrapped his arm around her, drawing small patterns on her sides.

“I got distracted! That shouldn't have happened! What if she got hurt?”, she sighed helplessly, and Luka kissed her forehead, “Love, it’s okay. She’s old enough to come to you if she needs anything”.

Marinette shook her head, "But... It shouldn't happen... I’m so tired, Lu… and that makes me be a bad mom and-"

“Shhh…", Luka interrupted her, pressing a gentle kiss on her lips to stop the bitter words that were about to come out of her mouth, "You know that’s not true”, he whispered, pulling her close and running his hand on her back slowly.

“It’s the last month, you were this tired with Harm as well. You’re not a bad mom, you’re doing an amazing job and Harmony loves you, and I’m sure she’ll love you too”, he reassured, putting his hand on her bump and rubbing gently. Marinette sighed, and took a deep breath before finally allowing herself to relax.

“And I’ll be here for all of it, I told you. I’m not leaving my favourite girls alone”, Luka reassured. His words made Marinette chuckle, and she shifted closer to rest her head on his shoulder, “You better, Rockstar”.

He kissed her head, and closed his eyes, “You can sleep in tomorrow, I’ll take care of Harmony and you won’t have to worry about anything”, he said, and Marinette’s protests died down in a soft hum when he kissed her. He fixed the blankets on them and smiled at her wife, “I love you”, she whispered before drifting to sleep again.

Did you guess where the tale Luka told Harmony comes from? You can read Adamaris by @livrever here 💖

[justabstractthings]

Watermelon Wishes | Tetsutetsu x Reader

Pairing: Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu x Reader

Warnings: None! Enjoy the fluffy summer time goodness!

A/N: Hi everyone! I hope you like this Tetsu fic! This is my piece for the bnharem summer collab series! I’m so happy to be able to collaborate with so many talented writers so you guys should go check out their lovely pieces on this masterlist. Also, there’s a little reference to @pixxiesdust​ Kirishima fic at the end so you guys should definitely read her piece! This was my first time writing for Tetsu so I was a bit nervous. I tried to incorporate as much as I could and I’m really happy with the results. I’ve always liked wish traditions/beliefs such as this. It just makes a world a bit more magical. Lastly, I wanted to say a huge thank you to @pixxiesdust​ and @izukyu​ for betaing my fic! You guys are awesome!!!

Word Count: 3.5k

Stick a watermelon seed to your forehead. Make your wish before it falls off.

U.A. High School was considered atypical by most school standards. While most high schools usually had a long summer break for students to enjoy, U.A. announced that they would be shortening their break down to one week. However, this new condition only applied to their hero departments considering the recent villain attacks that targeted their students, the utilization of dorms, and the increase of special courses scheduled during what would normally be their summer vacation.

This change of schedule led to students thoroughly enjoying their much-needed break. Some a bit differently than others.

Monoma decided to spend his week at his family’s villa, wanting some peace and quiet and “to be away from all the peasants”. Awase had already planned on working at his family’s shop for some extra cash. Like Monoma and Awase, most of Class 1-B either went on vacation or back home. 

However, Tetsutetsu’s way of spending his break was a bit different from everyone else in his class. He did go back to his hometown. But he had no plans of relaxation.

“A man never takes a break!” the silver-haired hero-in-training bellowed as he jogged through the neighborhood. He enthusiastically greeted many of the townspeople as they went about their morning routine. Tetsutetsu smiled as he felt a wave of nostalgia, recalling training every day in middle school in order to get into the school of his dreams. Like before, he went through his familiar running route through the small town.

During middle school, he would always go for a jog before and after school. Tetsutetsu chuckled as he remembered the number of times he had been scolded for being late or coming home sweaty and dirty. But that never stopped him. No, he was determined to become a hero.

Tetsutetsu’s grin widened as he recalled a particular memory. He felt his heartbeat and running pace quicken. Even as sweat dribbled down his forehead, Tetsutetsu didn’t feel an ounce of exhaustion. He needed to amp it up a bit more. A low rumble resonated through Tetsutetsu’s chest before he let out a loud roar as he increased his speed. 

The silver-haired male felt a rush of adrenaline as he pumped his legs as fast as he could. The exhilarating feeling of the wind rushing past his body only spurred him on. Tetsutetsu grinned as he felt his heart pound against his chest. He loved this feeling. He never wanted it to stop.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. For the silver-haired hero-in-training, that would be a solid mass walking in front of his running path and slamming right into him.

At first, Tetsutetsu couldn’t even process why his momentum was abruptly interrupted. He felt great. He felt indestructible. He felt strong. That is until he felt the wind get knocked out of his chest and his forehead slammed on the solid ground beneath him. Tetsutetsu groaned as he cursed at himself for not activating his quirk in time. He felt his head pound as he tried to push himself up. Tetsutetsu paused when he felt how soft the ground felt under his fingertips. Since when did the ground feel so squishy?

“Can you get off me?” a voice beneath him groaned out. 

Tetsutetsu blinked his eyes as he focused on the voice, head still pounding relentlessly. He felt something push against his chest when his vision finally cleared to reveal a very annoyed face glaring up at him.

“You’re too heavy! Get off!” 

Tetsutetsu gasped and pushed himself away. He immediately bowed apologetically. He gritted his teeth as his head pounded even harder when he bowed too quickly. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t see where I was going! I’m so very sorry! A man shouldn’t run into people!”

The silver-haired male was expecting a good scolding and a hard hit to the head (courtesy of his internship with Fourth Kind). He waited for his punishment with bated breath, but what he received was a light scoff and a very familiar phrase.

“I should beat the snot out of you.”

Tetsutetsu felt his skin jump as he trailed his grey eyes from the scuffed shoes to the cocked hip to the crossed arms and to the smirk plastered on his childhood friend’s face.

You raised your eyebrow as you stared at your friend’s gapping face. Some things never change. Especially when it comes to the male in front of you. “Hiya, Tetsu!” 

A gasp fell from Tetsutetsu’s lips before he took a large step and engulfed your body in a tight hug. He bellowed out your name as he swung you back and forth effortlessly. Waves of laughter resounding through the neighborhood as everyone who passed by merely smiled and went about their day.

When a dizzying feeling brewed in the back of your head, you tapped Tetsutetsu’s shoulder to stop his excited yet incoherent rambling. Tetsutetsu kept his hands on your hips even after he placed you back on the ground. 

“I haven’t seen you in so long!” A shark-toothed grin spread across Tetsutetsu’s face as he felt the urge to engulf you in another hug. “Wow! You haven’t changed a bit!”

You rolled your eyes and pushed yourself away from Tetsutetsu. The quick disconnection made you miss the heavy feeling of Tetsutetsu’s hands on your hips. But you weren’t going to tell him that. His hands weren’t the only thing you’ve been missing lately. 

Unfortunately, the space between both of you created an opportunity for you to study Tetsutetsu’s features. This was not the scrawny kid that you used to tease endlessly. You were happy that he still had that wide shark-toothed grin on his face that seemed to spread his own enthusiasm to people around him. His gray hair was longer and messier than you remember and the sweat running down his face caused a few strands to plaster on his forehead. As your eyes continued to study his features, you felt your cheeks burn. You watched a single drop of sweat run down Tetsutetsu’s face and down to his chest. Your gray-haired childhood friend was now a muscular hero-in-training.

You stopped your thoughts from escalating any further. This was your childhood friend. You should not be admiring how big his arms looked. You cursed the sweltering summer heat and blamed it for the blush rising on your cheeks and the dizzying feeling in your head.

“Right back at you, steelhead.” You turned your back at him as you tried to control the uncomfortable heat that refused to leave your face. Instead, you turned your focus on your groceries that were haphazardly strewn all over the sidewalk. “Ah, the groceries!” you exclaimed as you quickly gathered the produce.

“Oh, here! Let me help!” 

Before you could stop him, Tetsutetsu already had the bags in one hand and a large watermelon in the other. You watched as he effortlessly carried the groceries you were struggling with a few minutes ago, especially the watermelon.

“You really didn’t have to, Tetsu.” 

As you made a move to grab the bags from Tetsutetsu, he shook his head and dodged your hands. “I want to. Plus, it would be unmanly of me if I just left you after I knocked you over. Now, let’s go.”

You cocked your head to the side as Tetsutetsu began to walk away from your stunned figure. You ran to catch up to him. A bit irked that he could carry your groceries so easily, but happy that you were able to walk side by side with him. “What about your training, Tetsu? Weren’t you in the middle of a run?”

“Nah, I’d rather spend my time with you.” There it was again. The crooked grin that seemed to make your cheeks flare up and heart skip more so than usual. 

“There’s that one-track mind again,” you mumbled as you remembered the times you had to keep Tetsutetsu in check before he ran off headfirst into anything he set his mind to. 

“What was that?” the gray-haired male cocked his head to the side.

“Nothing.”

Tetsutetsu wasn’t sure if it was from the summer heat or his morning run, but he felt his throat dry up as soon as you flashed him your bright smile. He merely cleared his throat and stared ahead as both of you walked the familiar path to your childhood home.

You unlocked the gate and led Tetsutetsu into your house. “My parents aren’t home right now, so we should be alone for a bit.”

Tetsutetsu stopped in his tracks as soon as he heard your words. Alone? With you? In your house? Tetsutetsu has been to your house many times, but your parents were always home. He remembered the time he would come by after school so that you could tutor him and occasionally train with him. But now he was here. Alone. With you. In your house. 

“Are you sure? Is it ok?” Tetsutetsu murmured as he hesitantly stepped over the threshold. 

“Of course,” you shrugged as you placed house slippers on the floor for Tetsutetsu to use. You grabbed the groceries from his hands as you struggled to carry them to the kitchen. You ignored Tetsutetsu’s protests as you made your way in the kitchen. “Why don’t I cut up some watermelon for us? I’ll meet you by the porch.”

Tetsutetsu nodded as he watched your figure disappear into the kitchen. He walked through your house and made his way to the back porch, where both of you used to spend time playing during elementary school or lazily lounge around during middle school. The silver-haired male plopped himself down with a loud thump on the wooden porch. With a sigh, he leaned back on his arms as he soaked in the summer heat. While he enjoyed his time training to become a hero at U.A, he missed the days where he would spend the afternoons with you on this very porch. 

His fingers grazed against the old wood, smiling when he noticed all the carvings both of you had drawn over the years. A badly drawn horse. Some squiggles that resembled a snake. A few games of tic-tac-toe. His name and your name with a plus sign in between. A symbol of friendship that he cherished more than anything.

Tetsutetsu let out a muffled groan into his hands as the sickening feeling in his stomach began to rise. He didn’t understand why he was feeling this way. You were his best friend. You were the one that encouraged him to become a hero. You were the one who trained and tutored him for his UA entrance exams. You were there for him more than anybody else. He should be thankful, not feeling like his heart would run out of his chest every time he saw you.

The gray-haired hero-in-training thought that these feelings would go away once he started U.A. And they did for a while because he was focused on his goal to become the number one hero. Nothing else mattered but what he needed to do to become a hero.

Except during the times he would rest and relax after a long training session. His brain always went back to the moments he spent with you. It always made him feel more energized because he knew you still were cheering him on. 

“Hey, what’s going on in that empty steel trap?” 

Tetsutetsu jumped and swiveled his head towards your voice. He felt a rush of heat rise on his cheeks as you smiled down at his surprised face. 

You held up the plate of sliced watermelons in your hands as you made your way towards Tetsutetsu. He moved himself over to make room for you as you placed the plate in between you and Tetsutetsu. “Eat up, Tetsu.”

“Thanks,” Tetsutetsu grunted as he reached for a piece of watermelon. His gray eyes trailed to your figure as he watched you happily take bite after bite of the summer fruit. 

He grinned as he took his own bite of the watermelon in his hands. He relished the way the juices spread across his tongue, uncaring that a few droplets of juice were flowing down his chin.

“You’re as messy as ever, Tets,” you giggled as you watched Tetsutetsu grab another piece of watermelon while the collar of his shirt was soaked by the extra watermelon juices. Tetsutetsu merely cocked his head toward you and flashed a shark-toothed grin before he bit down on another piece of watermelon. 

You bit down on your own piece as you enjoyed the atmosphere between you and the silver-haired male beside you. You sighed at the refreshing feeling and taste of the watermelon in your mouth. It brought you back to the summer days spent with Tetsutetsu. Your mother always had watermelon ready for both of you to devour after a long study session. You and your best friend would always see who could eat the most.

“Hey.” You were pulled out of your thoughts when Tetsutetsu nudged your shoulder. You looked towards him and tried to stifle your laughter as Tetsutetsu began to spit watermelon seeds out of his mouth. Some traveled far while others dropped right between his legs.

The gray-haired male grinned as he listened to your melodious laughter. He loved your laugh. When he decided to become a hero, he swore he would protect you and your happiness at all costs. Your laughter always made him feel like a true hero each and every time.

“Hey, Tetsu.” You pulled a seed from your watermelon as Tetsutetsu turned his attention towards you. Without a second to waste, you stuck a watermelon seed on his forehead and smiled at his dumbfounded look. “Hurry and make a wish!”

“Wuh?” Before Tetsutetsu could say anything, the watermelon seed dropped from his forehead and landed with a plop on the wooden porch.

“Aw, you were supposed to make a wish,” you pouted as you stared dejectedly at the little black seed. 

“Wait! Wait! I wasn’t ready!” Tetsutetsu pulled himself closer to you as he stared expectantly at your widened gaze. “Do it again!”

A dark blush painted across your cheeks when you realized how close Tetsutetsu was. You admired his long eyelashes while the summer sun shimmered in his gray irises. He still had that light scar on his chin from when he accidentally clipped his chin on the park playground when you were little. You could not get yourself to look away. He had that determined look in his face that promised the impossible. His endless amount of confidence and stubbornness has always surprised you in any and all situations. Even to this day.

You gulped as you picked up another seed from your watermelon and placed it on Tetsutetsu’s forehead. You pressed a bit harder, making sure that it wouldn’t fall off as quickly as the first one. You stared into Tetsutetsu’s gray eyes and said, “Make a wish.”

The next thing Tetsutetsu did broke every rule ever made when it comes to best friends. Especially childhood best friends. He was sure that he would end up in the deepest parts of hell made for ruining friendships with one simple forbidden act.

Tetsutetsu gulped down his fears and pushed forward. Literally pushed forward and collided against your forehead. He did it while lightly brushing his lips against yours, but the initial pain of foreheads colliding caused you to pull away from the silver-haired male.

“Oww.” You rubbed your forehead as you turned away from Tetsutetsu. You tried to hide the blush on your face as you felt the soft pressure still lingering on your lips. You weren’t sure which pressure to focus on. The pain on your forehead or the softness on your lips.

“I’m so sorry! That was really unmanly of me! I didn’t know what came over me! I’m so sorry!” Tetsutetsu rumbled on as he tried to fix the situation. You and Kendo always berated him for not thinking before he acted. This was definitely a time when he should have used his head (the right way). The silver-haired male hid his reddened face into his large hands as he wished he was as small as the seeds strewn across the yard.

You looked over at a hunched over Tetsutetu while he continued to apologize and berate himself for being so unmanly. While you were initially surprised at Tetsutetsu’s bold act, you were a bit happy that he made the first move before you. He definitely had more guts than you, which was another thing you liked about him.

“Tetsu.” No reply. “Tetsu.” You placed a hand on his shoulder. Still no reply. “Tetsu!” This time you pulled his messy gray hair until he stared at you with an unfamiliar look him his eyes. Fear. Uncertainty. Shame. Definitely not the Tetsutetsu that you’ve known for years, but you also knew what could turn him back.

“It’s okay.” You flashed Tetsutetsu a bright grin as you pulled his face up. You kept your hands on his face, reveling at the warm feeling spreading across your palms. “Did your wish come true?”

It was Tetsutetsu’s turn. His face was as red as the watermelon slices sitting by your laps. He could not stop the blush from running across his cheeks. Nor could he control the way his heart quickened with every second that passed by. He bit his lip as he stared down at your soft lips, reveling at the way he pressed his own against them while simultaneously knocking his abnormally hard forehead against your own.

“I-I think so?”

“Good, cause it’s my turn to make a wish!” 

It’s official. 

Tetsutetsu had zero thoughts in his brain. 

He could not compute a single thought as he felt your hands pull his face closer to yours. He could not get himself to pull away as he felt himself tremble under your fingertips. He gulped when he felt your breath tickle his lips. Tetsutetsu tightly shut his eyes, patiently waiting for the soft pressure that would once again dance across his lips.

But it never came.

Tetsutetsu opened his eyes when he felt the soft pressure on his cheek instead. He stared at you in confusion as you grinned up at him.

“On second thought, I think my wish already came true!”

-Time Skip-

“Bro! I don’t know what to do!” Kirishima exclaimed as he plopped down on the couch. He had a drink clutched on his left hand while his right arm rested dramatically across his eyes.

“What’s going on, bro?” Tetsutetsu inquired as he cocked his head towards one of his fellow sidekicks. He placed a plate of sliced watermelon in front of his best friend as he patiently waited for him to elaborate.

The red-haired male sighed as he grabbed a slice of watermelon and bit a large piece off. A small pout rested on his chiseled face. “There’s this girl-”

“Ohhhhhh.” Kirishima groaned at the Cheshire grin plastered across the gray-haired male’s face. “A girl, huh?��

“Bro, shut up or I’m going to leave.”

“Alright. Alright.” Tetsutetsu chuckled as he draped an arm across Kirishima’s shoulders and gave him a sly grin. “So, this girl? How’d you meet her?”

The red-haired sidekick rolled his eyes and grabbed another piece of watermelon. “That’s the thing, dude. I haven’t officially met her.” Tetsutetsu shot him a look of confusion. “I saw her once while I was out on patrol.”

Tetsutetsu rested his chin on his fist as he stared expectantly at his red-haired best friend. “What? D’you save her or something?” 

“No.”

“Saw her at a bar?”

“No.”

“Then what happened, bro?”

Kirishima groaned as he dramatically flopped his head against the back of the couch. A light blush spread across his cheeks at the sudden thought of the girl. “I saw her standing in the middle of the rain and I don’t even know how to describe it. It was like I was mesmerized and I couldn’t look away. And when she left, it was like she took a piece of me with her.”

“A piece of you? Are you sure, dude?”

Kirishima could feel the endearing grin shot his way by the gray-haired male beside him. “Yes, and I haven’t stopped thinking about her since.” The red-haired sidekick turned to his friend, a dejected look spread across his face. “What do I do, bro?”

As much as Tetsutetsu enjoyed teasing his best friend, he knew that his bro needed his help. He looked around the room as he thought about what he could do to help his fellow sidekick. While he has been in a very long and serious relationship, he wasn’t really an expert. Maybe when it came to hand-to-hand combat, he would happily help his best bro-friend. But love? That was kind of your expertise.

Then his eyes landed on the tiny, tear-drop shaped, black objects that were contained in the summer fruit in front of them.

He grabbed the small object and thrust it in front of Kirishima’s confused face. 

“A watermelon seed?” Kirishima asked.

“Trust me, bro.”

[hyliansquish]

Diakko Week Day 1

@dianakko-week

Childhood Friends:

Also read here on AO3

Diana was nervous about entering this program.  She wasn’t the most social girl around, and didn’t have many friends from her own school.   Her mother insisted she make friends her own age though.  It would be good for her, right?  Well perhaps not being directly with this person would help.  That’s why she signed up for the pen-pal program.  

She looked at the profile of the girl she was matched up with.  Atsuko Kagari: born 25th of June, a few months later than herself.  From Chiba, Japan.  There was a little portrait of the girl with the profile.  A cheery brunette with captivating ruby eyes.  From the girl’s description of herself, she was a huge fan of Shiny Chariot, which Diana was actually excited for.  She’d never had someone share that interest with her.  Perhaps the girl had a collection of cards as well.  Would they allow her to send one in the mail?  Maybe they could trade.

Diana eagerly sat at her desk, pulling out a pen and paper to begin writing her first letter.

Dear Atsuko,

I’m very glad we are getting this chance to know each other.  I saw that you’re a fan of Shiny Chariot!  Have you been to one of her shows yet?  I still haven’t yet, but one day I very much hope to.  

Diana paused, unsure of what else to bring up in this letter.  Perhaps ask about Atsuko’s life in Japan?  How much different was it to England anyway?  Hurriedly, she scribbled those thoughts down.  She really was curious about it now.  Maybe she could do some research about it in the meantime.  But it certainly wouldn’t be the same as learning about it directly from someone who lived there.  Yes, certainly.  Perhaps she could regale this girl with stories about her experiences in Britain then.  

~~~~~~~

Diana,

Please, just call me Akko.  We’re pals after all!  Btw, I haven’t seen Chariot in person yet, but she’s actually coming here in a few months!  I’m so excited!  I’ve been begging my parents for tickets for ages now!  I really really hope they say yes!  And OMG, it’s so cool that you’re a fan too!  Hey!  You totally gotta see my collection sometime.  I got so many!

And your stories about England sound awesome!  I’d totally like to go someday!  Hey, I could tell you all about my hometown.  I got some pictures right here.  

Akko gathered her collection of photos to send to this Diana girl.  Everything from old landmarks ‘kaasan said would make good additions, to the blurry and tilted pictures Akko took around her own home.  This was gonna be great!  Akko couldn’t believe she was gonna be involved with this foreign girl.  She could learn so much from her!  After all, that is what this program advertised.  Though she hated to admit it, Akko was a little nervous about entering in the first place.  She didn’t know what kind of language the person she was gonna be matched up with was.  She was pretty thankful it was an English girl though.  Though her own was shaky, it was something she always wanted to learn.  She could be just like Chariot that way!  Yeah, this was gonna be great!

Really, neither of the two girls knew what the future would hold in store for them.  Each letter sent brought forth more and more of their strengthening bond.  A few weeks turned into a few months, and then a few years.  Exchanging emails and so forth the two grew close in a way no one could have predicted.  But the fated day drew near.

~~~~~~~

Akko looked up at the grand building before her.  Who knew a school could be so old, haha!  But this is the exact one Chariot studied at years ago, and the one Diana would be attending.

Akko slapped her cheeks, yes, she was here.  She was about to attend The Luna Nova Academy!  She was gonna become a stage performer just like Chariot!  She was gonna meet Diana in person for the first time in years!  This was it!

And as she took her first steps in that school, all she could do was keep her eyes out for the blonde.  

“Akko?”

Akko turned around, seeing the beauty heading right for her.  “Diana!”  

Akko took off in a sprint, practically bowling the girl over.  “Diana!  It’s been so long!  How are you doing!”

“Fine, fine,”  the blonde chuckled, brushing a stray lock of hair out of her face.  “How was your flight?”

“Oh, it was great!”

A pair of coughs sounded from behind the girls, catching their attention.  Two very unimpressed girls stood there, watching the scene unfold.  “Um, Diana?  Who’s this?”

“Oh, this is Akko.”

“What?!”  The pair exclaimed in unison.  “This is the Akko you never shut up about?”

While the two continued in incoherent rambling, Diana turned her attention to the one in her embrace.  “By the way, it is great to see you again, Akko.”

The brunette blushed in that moment.  They’d known each other for years, and it was always special whenever they were able to meet up.  Moments they had to enjoy for all their worth, moments that seemed fleeting.  Now they could truly savor the moment.  They’d be together for some time yet, and Akko never wanted that time to end.

[kpop-zone]

Better Late Than Never | JiU

Genre: angst, fluff, smutt, university AU, professor AU

Wordcount: 7,675

You gasped when you looked at your phone.

10:55 am

You were already five minutes late to your first class in the new semester and you still had to run across the whole campus.

When you finally arrived at the building, you were panting like you had ran a marathon and a thin layer of sweat had started to form on your forehead. Trying to catch your breath, you lingered in front of the door a few seconds, before trying to silently open it.

It was one of your bigger lectures and you hoped no one would notice you slipping into the hall, but your late arrival made your professor look at you immediately, causing all the students to turn their heads and stare at you. You smiled awkwardly before rushing into one of the rows to make everyone stop looking at you. You were sure that you had never looked worse in your entire life and the blush spreading on your cheeks wasn’t really complimenting your appearance either.

Once you sat down, you ducked your head, wishing that the ground would open up. Soon, however, the attention on you died down and the tired gazes of your peers were bound forward again. Finally, you had time to sort your thoughts and take in your surroundings. You knew that your best friend didn’t attend this class, but scanning the faces of the other students, you realized that you didn’t know anyone at all. Great. As if your day couldn’t get any worse.

Grumpily you looked to the front, but when your eyes landed on your professor your breath hitched in your throat. Earlier you were so embarrassed that you hadn’t even got a proper look at her. But now you were overwhelmed by her beauty. She was young. If you didn’t know that she was your professor, you’d probably mistaken her for a student. Her long, wavy hair was falling over her shoulders and framed her cute face perfectly. You were glad that you were supposed to look at your professor during the lecture, because you simply couldn’t remove your gaze from her.

Unfortunately, you were also not able to listen to a single word she was saying. Only when all of your peers pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, you were forced into the real world again. Confused you looked around, absolutely having no idea what was going on.

“What is everyone writing down?”

You asked your neighbor silently and he looked at you judgmentally.

“Ms. Kim is explaining the group assignment that is going to be our final grade this term.”

He said before focusing on the front again and starting to take notes.

You really should start listening as well. Hastily you pulled out your notebook and tried to collect as much info as possible.

...at least two people...paper...presentation...personal experience...30 pages

Your notes were messy, but scanning them, you were sure that this lecture would not be easy. Despite her cute looks, Ms. Kim did not seem to have the intention to make your life easy.

“Ok now to the groups. I will randomly assign you now. Please give me a hand sign when I read your name out loud.”

One after the other, she read the names until almost no one was left.

“Y/N L/N?”

She called out your name and you jumped in your seat a bit, because you had been zoning out again.

“Here?”

You exclaimed shakily and her stern gaze fell on you.

“Oh, the latecomer.”

She said with a raised eyebrow and a pink blush spread on your cheeks.

Great. So much for the first impression.

“You’re going to work with Lee Gahyeon.”

She stated and a tiny looking girl in the first row overzealously raised her hand. She whipped her head around to search for her partner and when she found your eyes, she smiled at you widely. You reciprocated the gesture before looking back at Ms. Kim whose gaze was surprisingly still glued to you. When your eyes met, she quickly looked away though, seemingly feeling caught.

You were confused for a second, but then you quickly shook those thoughts. Ms. Kim continued to read the rest of the names before ending the class early. You were just packing your stuff when you suddenly felt the present of another person next to you. When you turned your head, you saw Gahyeon standing close by you.

“Hi I wanted to personally introduce myself. I’m Gahyeon.”

She said with a cute smile that made her eyes squinty while holding out her hand. You took it with a chuckle and shook it quickly.

“Nice to meet you Gahyeon. I’m Y/N.”

When you had everything stored in your backpack, you threw it over your shoulder and walked to the entrance with Gahyeon following close behind, who already started rambling about your project. Before you left the room, however, you couldn’t suppress the urge to look at Ms. Kim one last time. You turned your head and saw her standing next to her desk, surrounded by some students that were already showing her some papers concerning the project. She seemed to be immersed in what she was reading, but suddenly her gaze flickered over the edge of the paper and landed on you.

In surprise, you almost stumbled over your own feet, quickly whipping your head around and rushing out of the room. It was already bad enough that you were known as the latecomer, you didn’t want to be known as a creeper as well.

“...is that fine with you?”

Gahyeon’s face suddenly appeared in front of you when you had left the room and her eyes looked at you expectantly. You had totally been zoning out while admiring Ms. Kim beauty and hadn’t listened to a word that Gahyeon had been saying.

“Sorry, what?”

You stammered sheepishly, but Gahyeon didn’t seem to be annoyed by your ignorance.

“I asked if you had time tomorrow to start on our project.”

She asked and you were glad that you could get a hold of a partner that apparently was striving for a good grade. Maybe she could balance your lack of concentration. You nodded with a smile before trying to focus on what she was saying from now on.

Together you walked a part of the way and you learned that Gahyeon was still a sophomore, which explained her seemingly inexhaustible motivation and eager. Nevertheless, you were glad to be paired with her. She seemed to be a cute girl and you could imagine the two of you becoming friends.

“So tomorrow at 4?”

You asked her when you stood in front of your lecture hall and Gahyeon agreed before waving goodbye.

You spent the rest of your classes scribbling incoherent notes, hoping that you would be able to make sense of them later, because you weren’t able to focus on anything your lecturers were saying. Your mind always drifted back to certain brown eyes whose gaze felt like it was piercing right through you. A relieved sigh left your mouth when the clock finally struck 4 pm and you knew that you had survived your last class of the day.

In anticipation, you almost sprinted to your dorm where you would finally be able to hop into your bed. Right after you swung the door open, you ran to your favorite piece of furniture and jumped on it like a flying squirrel.

“Long day?”

Your roommate Yoohyeon chuckled from her bed and you turned your head to be able to look at her.

“I already know that I have to do four assignments the next month.”

You groaned, already being done with the term after one day.

“How cruel.”

Yoohyeon gasped dramatically to tease you and you threw a pillow at her.

“Talking about assignments. Do you know a Professor Kim? Young, long brown hair, she’s pretty thin, but still has an athletic figure. Very beautiful.”

You described your professor and Yoohyeon looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Thanks for the very professional description.”

She stated cynically and you looked at her offendedly.

“What? I’m just stating it as I saw it.”

You tried to defend yourself but Yoohyeon seemed to already know that your professor had struck your interest in a not so professional way.

“Whatever. But I know that she joined the university last year. It’s a wonder that you haven’t heard of her yet. Everyone was talking about her. She made all her students fall in love with her.”

Your roommate looked at you reproachfully and you started blushing a bit.

“But she’s known to be ruthless despite generally being a sweetheart. As soon as someone disrespects her, she doesn’t shy back from letting them fail.”

Yoohyeon continued and you gulped. So you hadn’t been wrong. She had conveyed the impression to be a person that took her job very seriously from the beginning.

“So keep your feelings in check, Y/N. You can’t afford failing that class.”

Your best friend warned you and you rolled your eyes.

“I’m not having feelings for her. She’s not even my type.”

You defended yourself but a little voice in your head told you that this was a lie.

Nevertheless, you managed to silence this voice the rest of the night and locked away the thoughts about your professor in a cage in the furthest corner of your mind. You wanted to peacefully finish this term without getting in any trouble.

Therefore, you exemplary met with Gahyeon the next day like agreed and started working on a concept for your project, because you had to present it to Ms. Kim the following week. Up until the day of the lecture, you even managed to think less than twice about your professor. Only when it was the day of the class, you felt a tingling sensation in your stomach. You left your dorm extra early, making sure that you arrived for the class on time. Gahyeon, of course, was already there and you sat beside her, starting to chat with her about your weekends.

Five minutes before the class started, Ms. Kim entered the lecture hall and like the first time you had seen her, your breath hitched in your throat.

Damn it.

You thought to yourself, realizing that you definitely were catching feelings for your professor.

“Good morning everyone.”

Ms. Kim smiled while scanning the crowd.

When her eyes landed on you, your heart skipped a beat. Her gaze lingered on you and you felt like jelly underneath it. Nevertheless, you held her gaze until she had mercy with you and shifted her eyes to someone else in the crowd. You let out a shaky breath, trying to calm your heart that was feeling like jumping out of your chest.

“You can talk about your project a little longer and then each group of you should come to the front and talk about it with me.”

Ms. Kim instructed, and all the students nodded before finding their groups and starting to chat.

You tried to devote your full attention to Gahyeon who immediately started to revise your already collected ideas, but you stole glances at Ms. Kim over and over again. Not only because you were still amazed by her beauty, but also because you began to think that she was doing the same thing. In the beginning, you suspected it to be pure coincidence, but after your gazes had met three times in a row, you were almost sure that she had to be staring at you as well.

If you hadn’t been confused already before, now you definitely were. Why was she staring at you? You either had to be delusional or she had to feel very uncomfortable because of your staring, you told yourself. Therefore, you tried to stop yourself from stealing glances at her and only looked at Gahyeon until you had to come to the front and present your results.

Sheepishly you walked behind Gahyeon, already feeling Ms. Kim’s piercing gaze on you. With every step your nervousness grew, knowing that you would have to face her in less than ten seconds.

“Hello, professor.”

Gahyeon greeted her happily and you finally looked at her. She smiled at the small girl and gestured her to sit down in front of her.

“Thank you for taking the time for us, Ms. Kim.”

You said while bowing lightly when you stood in front of her, hoping that your nervousness wasn’t showing.

“Minji.”

She responded shortly and you looked at her in confusion.

“What?”

You asked with your head tilted to the side, causing Ms. Kim to laugh and you swore that you wouldn’t even mind dying right now, because you had reached the peak of your life. You had made the prettiest person on earth laugh and it was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard.

“You can call me Minji. I’m not a fan of rigid hierarchical structures.”

She smiled and you awkwardly nodded because you were unable to speak before sitting down next to Gahyeon.

“Ok, cool. I’m gonna start presenting then if you don’t mind.”

Gahyeon chimed in and you gestured her to start, because you still needed some time to sort your thoughts again. Like always, your overzealous friend started talking like a waterfall and Minji and you simply sat there and listened to her rambling. Another time, you could feel your professor’s gaze on you and even though you wanted to be strong, you caved in after a while, stealing glances at her as well. Every time your eyes met, one of you broke the contact sheepishly, but nevertheless, neither of you stopped this game. Gahyeon was completely oblivious to all of this and you almost started giggling when you continued your staring contest without your partner noticing it once.

“Does that sound ok to you?”

Gahyeon asked eventually and you quickly sat up straight in your seat, realizing that you had missed her whole presentation of your project. But apparently you hadn’t been the only one that was distracted, because Minji was looking stumped for an answer as well.

“Um... yeah that sounds absolutely amazing. I’m looking forward to the development of your project.”

She stammered a little helplessly, but Gahyeon just smiled widely in response, not realizing that she had been the only one paying attention at the table. Almost feeling bad for your friend who had really put a lot of effort in this concept, you gave her an encouraging thumps up before standing up.

One last time, you exchanged some glances with Minji before following Gahyeon to your seats.

At least you were sure that you weren’t delusional now.

The following weeks, the tension between Ms. Kim and you grew steadily. You stared at each other more often and soon you even stopped to be embarrassed when the other noticed.

Nevertheless, you never really talked with each other. A fact that you wanted to change today. After five weeks of staring, you decided that you needed more. Therefore, you told Gahyeon that you wouldn’t go to the next class and sent her ahead. In slow-motion, you packed your stuff until only Ms. Kim, and you were left in the lecture hall. Although you had made the decision to finally talk to her, you weren’t quite sure how to start a conversation in that moment. Therefore, you were glad to see that Ms. Kim was struggling to carry several books and her bag at the same time, so you rushed down to her desk.

“May I help you?”

You asked and Ms. Kim looked at you gratefully and nodded in response.

Quickly you relieved her of the books, causing her to smile at you, which made your heartbeat pick up.

“Can you help me bring those to my office?”

She requested and you agreed gladly, intending to use this time to talk with her.

But you were already halfway at her office when you still hadn’t talked a word and awkward silence was hanging between the two of you.

“So the weather is nice today...”

You tried to start a conversation eventually and cringed at your own statement.

Suddenly you heard Minji giggle from the side and you looked at her in surprise.

“Did you really just try to start a conversation by talking about the weather? Has that ever worked?”

She questioned you teasingly and you blushed, because you realized that until now you had done nothing but embarrass yourself in front of your professor.

When she saw your insecure expression though, her laugh died down however and her expression softened.

“It’s nice indeed. I want to drive to the seaside this weekend. Have you ever been there?”

Her eyes were lingering on you expectantly and a fuzzy feeling started to spread in your stomach.

“As a child, I have often been at the seaside with my family. I really loved playing in the sand and splashing in the water. But lately, I never really had time to.”

You answered regretfully, reminiscing about your childhood.

“I’m sure you’ll find the time again eventually.”

Minji tried to cheer you up and you thanked her silently with a smile.

Finally, you had found a conversation starter and you continued talking about your plans for the weekend. You had already reached the office for a while now, but you were so deep in your conversation that none of you wanted the other to leave. Eventually you had to leave for your next class though and you apologized yourself reluctantly.

Nevertheless, the ice between the two of you had been broken now. From now on, you helped Ms. Kim with her chores after every class. You carried her books, cleaned the whiteboard or collected something from your peers. And every time you used this opportunity to talk with each other.

Your conversations after class grew more and more private and soon you would say that you knew who Minji really was. And you only fell harder for her. At first you only fell for her elegant and mature side, but now you realized that she also had a really dorky side and you loved to see her this way. She made incredibly bad jokes or tried to do some aegyo which only led to her being embarrassed of herself.

The time the two of you spent together was always filled with laughter and comfortable conversations and you almost forgot that she was your professor. However, at the back of your mind the knowledge that this was a dangerous game was torturing you. Therefore, you tried as best as possible to keep your group of friends aside of Minji alive. Whatever this was between the two of you could end any time. So you spent most of your nights with Yoohyeon and your other friends. More and more often, you were also joined by Gahyeon.

You had realized that you actually shared the same kind of humor with the younger girl and that both of you enjoyed spending some lazy nights in, cuddled up on the sofa while watching movies. She even made you look forward to classes. Although the class with Minji wasn’t easy, you considered it manageable because of Gahyeon.

Contently you sighted while you were walking to your next class, knowing that Gahyeon would be there. Everything was going great lately. You hadn’t ruined any classes till now and even gained a new friend. You were aware that your relationship with Minji was a tightrope walk, but you hadn’t done anything that crossed the line till now. So there was no reason to stop it. With a smile playing on your lips, you opened the door to the lecture hall.

Not a lot of students were there yet, but one familiar voice caught your attention.

“Y/N!”

Gahyeon exclaimed happily when she saw you and waved you over. As soon as you sat beside her, she interlinked your arms and rested her head on your shoulder.

“I’m really not motivated at all today.”

She pouted and you ruffled her hair teasingly. Although she wasn’t much younger than you, you almost considered Gahyeon your little sister by now and often found yourself babying her. Especially because she was such a clingy person. Which she proved right now. She kept clinging to your side, but you didn’t mind.

Slowly the lecture hall began filling with people, but the two of you kept joking around. You chatted animatedly despite the early hours and your laughter only died down when a loud noise from the front caught your attention.

In shock you whipped your head around and saw Ms. Kim standing in the front. She had slammed her books down on the desk and was now scanning the students. When her eyes landed on you, her gaze was ice could and a shiver ran down your spine. She didn’t smile at you like usual and you wondered what you had done to deserve this treatment. Throughout the whole class, your professor’s mood didn’t get better and Gahyeon scooted even closer to you, because the aura of Minji was truly frightening.

As soon as the class ended, you wanted to flee the scene like all the others, but your plan was defeated.

“Y/N, could you please stay? I need your help.”

Minji’s cold voice echoed in the lecture hall and you hesitantly walked closer to her desk. Wordlessly, she walked to her office and you simply followed her. As soon as you had entered, she closed the door behind you, and you gulped. Now you were trapped.

You expected her to scold you, but Minji didn’t say anything at all. Silence stretched between the two of you while she motionlessly stood in front of you with her back turned to you. Your nervousness increased exponentially with every passing second, until you couldn’t stand the silence anymore.

“Is everything ok?”

You asked nervously and Minji whipped her head around.

You could see an expression in her eyes that you weren’t able to interpret. It wasn’t anger though like you had expected after her bad mood during the lecture. You were about to address her again, when she suddenly rushed forward with big steps, grabbing you by your shoulders and pushing you back until you were pressed against the door. You looked at her with wide eyes while her face was only inches apart from yours and her shoulders were quickly rising and falling because of her agitated breathing.

Automatically your look fell on her beautiful lips and that was all the permission that you needed to give her. Minji crashed her lips into yours, making you immediately moan into her mouth and giving her the chance to slip her tongue through your parted lips. But you didn’t mind. Your arms found their way around her neck, pulling her against your body. Her hands immediately started to explore the new gained territory, making you ache for more.

Feeling your impatience, Minji suddenly pulled away, making you whine in response. Smugly she grinned at your reaction before reaching behind you to lock the door and pulling you to her desk. Carelessly she threw down all the utensils to be able to place you on the desk instead. Not wanting to make you wait any longer, she stepped between your legs, attaching her lips to yours again.

Her hand wandered to your chest in the meantime where she squeezed your breast through your shirt, making a gasp escape your mouth.

“Is this ok?”

She asked breathlessly and you eagerly nodded in response before pulling her face closer to yours again.

This time Minji aimed for your jawline. She left wet kissed up to your earlobe which she bit gently, making you miss the fact that her hand had made its way to your pants the same time. With a swift move she unbuttoned it, sneaking her way into your underwear.

You were already beyond desperate for Minji’s touch, so when her digit touched your wet folds, you soaked in a sharp breath while throwing back your head.

“Beautiful.”

Minji whispered before starting to pepper kisses on your neck and to circle your clit. Your hips automatically rolled into her hand, showing her where you needed her the most. Your breathing became faster with every pointed move of Minji’s finger.

“You look so gorgeous right now.”

Minji kept praising you and when you opened your eyes, you could see that she was admiring you with sparkling eyes, causing your heart to swell. Being unable to speak, you grabbed her neck and crashed her lips into yours again, because you were missing her taste already. The same time Minji finally slipped a finger into your entrance and you harshly bit down on her lip in reflex, making her wince in pain. Apologetically you ran your tongue across her bottom lip before planting a soft kiss on it, while she continued to pump her finger in a steady pace.

When you started to become eager for more, she added a second finger, causing you to dig your fingernails into her shoulders. Combined with her lips caressing every exposed part of your body, you could feel yourself getting closer to the edge, making your moans louder and louder.

“Minji...”

You choked out as you could already feel your legs starting to twitch.

Being able to read your body language, Minji pressed her lips on yours again, perfectly curling her fingers inside of you one last time, making the bottled-up pressure finally being released. Reflexively you pulled Minji even closer, while she tried to let you enjoy your high as long as possible. Your loud moans were muffled by her mouth and you clung to her body until you were too weak to do so, causing her to remove her fingers from your core.

Lazily you let your arms hang around her neck and she calmingly ran her hands in circles on your back, while she left kisses on the side of your head.

After your breathing was back to normal again, Minji pushed her body back to be able to look into your eyes.

“I’m really sorry, but I have to run to my next class. You can stay here and recover as long as you want.”

She said apologetically, brushing a few loose strands of her out of your face.

Still being overwhelmed, you only nodded in response. Quickly Minji pressed her lips on yours a last time, before grabbing her bag and leaving you alone in the office. As soon as she closed the door behind her, you took a deep breath, leaning back until your back laid on the desk.

You had just had sex with your professor.

In disbelief, you buried your face in your hands, thinking about what had happened a few minutes ago. Should you regret it? You didn’t know if you would be able to. Only thinking about Minji’s lips on your body, or her fingers hitting the perfect spot every time, made shivers run up and down your spine. Even if all of this was a mistake, you wouldn’t have done it any other way. You would give anything to have her touch you like this again.

But as it turned out, you didn’t have to give much as Minji was feeling the same.

She kept taking you to her office after every class like she already used to for months now, only that you took it further than only talking now. Minji even made you her teaching assistant, so that the amount of time that you spent in her office wouldn’t seem weird to anyone.

Therefore, you were able to fool everyone. Everyone except your best friend. Yoohyeon had observed your weird behavior for a while now and it didn’t take long for her to develop a theory. Although you tried to cover up your feelings, you couldn’t help but smile whenever someone mentioned your professor. And all those extra hours at her office weren’t plausible for her either.

So after searching for evidence in the course of several weeks, she eventually confronted you.

“You’re having an affair with her, aren’t you?”

Yoohyeon asked you when you were just laying on your bed and texting with Minji.

“What? With who?”

You chuckled nervously, trying to act dumb.

“Don’t play dumb. You know who I am talking about. You’re having an affair with Ms. Kim, it’s obvious.”

She called you out and you gulped. Obvious? Did others notice too?

“Do you think anyone else knows?”

You asked anxiously and Yoohyeon scoffed.

“I can’t believe you, Y/N. What do you think will happen if anyone else finds out about this? You’re risking both of your careers. And for what? A short-lived fling? Or do you think she has serious intentions with you?”

Your friend’s question hit right where they could hurt you the most. You had started thinking about the type of relationship you had with Minji for a while now. Your feelings for her definitely were strong and you wouldn’t hesitate a second to agree if she would ask you to date her. But was she feeling the same? She had never implied anything, and she had never seemed like wanting to expand what you had to outside her office.

Yoohyeon’s words kept being stuck in your head and changed your perception of your meetups with Minji. Without exposing your goal, you tried to discover what type of relationship Minji thought the two of you had. But every time you only came remotely close to talking about your relationship, she backed away from the conversation, causing you to get frustrated. No answer was an answer too and you realized that Yoohyeon had been right. This was only a short-lived fling. At least for Minji. And although you had enjoyed it till now, you couldn’t risk being expelled for something that didn’t have a future. Therefore, you decided to end it.

The next class you followed Minji to her office like always after it had ended and as soon as you had stepped in, she attached her lips to your neck, sucking on your pulse point. You hummed lowly in response, while your eyes automatically closed. Minji’s hand started to wander underneath your shirt and you were about to get lost in her touch when you remembered what you were here to do.

“Minji.”

You called her name, but she apparently thought it was an encouragement, because she started trailing her kisses further down. Therefore, you roughly pushed her back, making her look at you with wide eyes.

“Stop.”

You stated sternly although her shocked expression almost made your cold façade to melt.

“What`s wrong? Did I go too far?”

She asked concerned, stepping forward to grab your hand, but you escaped her touch.

“Go too far? Of course you went too far! Or do you think this is a normal relationship between a professor and a student.”

You spat out causing Minji to stumble back a few steps in surprise.

“Y/N... Where is this coming from suddenly?”

She asked and you could see that she was thinking hard about what she had done to cause this behavior.

“Does that matter? What matters is that I am risking my future for being a dirty little secret in these four walls.”

Your bottled-up frustration suddenly broke to the surface, causing those harsh words to leave your mouth.

“I don’t know what to say, Y/N. It’s not like you didn’t know that I’m your professor. Of course, we can’t run around campus while holding hands.”

Minji’s voice sounded more agitated now too. You didn’t know what you were trying to hear from her, but it definitely wasn’t what she just told you, because you knew that she was right. But your stubbornness forbade you to give in.

“So where did you want to take this then? Hook up with me on your desk until you get bored and then move on to the next student?”

You were aware of the fact that your words were unjustified. Although you had never taken your relationship with Minji to the next level, you knew that you were the only one in her life right now. She had never made you feel like a dirty secret, but you had hated the secrecy of your relationship, nevertheless. Your feelings for her were strong and you wanted to officially ask Minji to be yours. And the knowledge that you couldn’t, had been nagging on you until your threshold of pain was reached, causing you to snap at her right now.

Hurt flickered in Minji’s eyes, making you regret your words. You were about to apologize, when she cut you short.

“It’s not my problem if you’re delusional, Y/N. I’ve never said that you were more than just an opportunity to relief stress for me.”

She responded harshly and your heart cracked when you heard her words.

 You hadn’t expected her feelings to be quite as strong as yours, but you thought that you at least meant something to her. But apparently you didn’t.

You wanted to safe your face and shoot back a snarky comment, but your head was empty. Your heartache was crippling you, making tears spring to your eyes.

“If that’s so, I think you won’t mind searching a new source of stress relief for yourself.”

You stated shakily before slipping out the door, not wanting to have a breakdown in front of the one breaking your heart.

While tears started to stream down your cheeks, you ran across campus to your dorm room. As soon as you had slammed the door behind you, a loud sob escaped your mouth, alarming Yoohyeon who was just laying on her bed.

“Oh my god, Y/N, what’s wrong?”

She asked as she rushed to your side, wrapping her arms around you.

“I-I ended it.”

You stammered between sobs and Yoohyeon tightened her embrace.

“I’m so sorry. But it was for the better. Believe me. It will hurt for a while, but soon you will be glad to have made that decision.”

You truly hoped that she was right, because in this moment, you wished that you could turn back time. You wished that you had never asked Minji about your relationship and that you could just continue like before.

But what you had was broken just like your heart. You felt like a weight was pushing you down and you couldn’t get yourself to leave the house the next days. Especially not for your class with Minji. You didn’t know how you were ever supposed to be able to do a presentation in front of her. Right now, you didn’t even feel capable of being in the same room as her. Yoohyeon and Gahyeon took good care of you though. They kept you posted about most of your classes and brought you comfort food to cheer you up.

After one week and crying until you had no tears left to cry, you felt ready to step out into the world again. You went to all your classes despite the one with Minji and actually felt like on the road to recovery. However, you dreaded the beginning of the following week. You had missed Minji’s class twice, meaning that you either had to have a pretty good reason to miss another one or you had to finally face your fears.

You were sitting on your bed with Yoohyeon next to you, contemplating your choices.

“You could just say that your grandma died or something.”

Yoohyeon proposed and you looked at her disapprovingly.

“What? I just don’t think, you are ready to see her yet.”

She chimed in and you wondered whether she was right.

“You think so? I could just sit at the back and don’t engage. I wouldn’t even have to talk with her.”

You thought out loud, but Yoohyeon was nervously shifting around and you looked at her questioningly.

“I’m just afraid that you will run back to her. She hasn’t been doing great either...”

She answered slowly, suddenly catching your full attention.

“What do you mean?”

You questioned your roommate a little too eagerly, instantly scolding yourself inwardly for still caring about Minji so much.

“See? That’s what I mean. You’re still not over her.”

Yoohyeon stated and you sadly had to agree with her. Nevertheless, you kept staring at her expectantly, wanting her to elaborate her statement. She huffed annoyed but took a breath to tell you what you had missed while you were hiding from Minji.

“People have been gossiping that she had been really irritated during her lectures. She yelled a lot and didn’t really prepare her classes. And yesterday, I saw her when I walked to one of my classes. She looked really tired and kinda sad.”

Yoohyeon explained and your heart clenched again.

After everything she had said to you, you still didn’t want her to be sad. And maybe it even meant that she didn’t mean what she said. But this didn’t change anything, you told yourself. The two of you still couldn’t have worked out and your heart would have been broken anyways. So it was better that it happened sooner than later.

“You’re not going to run after her tonight now when I leave you alone, right?”

Yoohyeon suddenly asked, making you flinch in surprise. You had been zoning out and forgot that she was closely observing your reaction.

“Of course not. Besides, you’re not my babysitter. Only because I am a total buzzkill lately, doesn’t mean that you can’t go out and have fun on the weekends.”

You answered, trying to muster your best smile and bumping your shoulder against Yoohyeon’s.

She looked at you skeptically, but when you shoved her off the bed, she laughed and started to get ready for the party that she wanted to attend. After an hour, she warned you a last time to not do something stupid tonight, before finally leaving.

As soon as she closed the door, you wished that she didn’t leave though. Although you wanted her to enjoy her weekend, you knew that being alone right now wasn’t the best choice for you. The silence gave you way too much space to think and with your new gained information, you were afraid of where your thoughts would lead you.

Therefore, you put your headphones on and blasted your music at full volume. Thankfully you lived in the twenty-first century and the internet offered all kinds of distractions. Therefore, you spend your night watching weird videos on YouTube or putting random items in your shopping cart of several online clothing stores. You only stopped when you heard some loud banging on your door.

Completely shocked you removed your headphones, sitting motionlessly on your chair and listening whether you could hear some noise from outside. It was quiet for a while and you thought that whoever was in front of your door had left, but suddenly the banging returned and you squealed in surprise. Slowly you got off your bed to look through the spyhole and check who was disturbing you at this hour. The only people who visited you at your dorm where Yoohyeon and Gahyeon. One of them had a key and the other one was way too tiny to make such noise. You were halfway at the door when you suddenly stopped in your movements.

“Please Y/N, I know that you’re in there. Please let me in.”

It was Minji’s voice.

You stared at the door in disbelief, while you could hear your own heartbeat in your ears. What was she doing here? Was she insane? Everyone could see her right now.

“Please Y/N.”

She sounded desperate and her pleading was followed by a little thud.

Finally, your feet followed your demands again and brought you to the door, where you could see through the spyhole that Minji was leaning her forehead against the door in desperation. Your hand automatically wandered to the doorknob but didn’t turn it yet. You kept staring at Minji, who moved back a little, making it possible for you to see her face. She truly looked tired. Her eyes were puffy, indicating that she had cried.

“I’m risking everything for you right now, Y/N. Isn’t this proof enough that you mean something to me?”

She asked, fueling your inner conflict.

On the one hand, you were reminded of the day, she had broken your heart. Did she deserve a second chance? And hadn’t it been better for the two of you to break up? But on the other hand, her argument made sense to you. She wouldn’t been standing in front of your door if she truly had meant what she had said to you the last time you had seen each other.

Your inner conflict was a battle between your brain and your heart. The former told you to be rational and to not get involved in something that could ruin your future. But the latter didn’t want anything more than to finally pull Minji’s body against yours again. The conflict was paralyzing you and after a few more minutes, your hand was still motionlessly laying on the doorknob.

Minji sighted in defeat eventually and pushed herself of the door, slowly walking backwards. She looked right at the spyhole and your heart almost leaped out of your chest. Her sad eyes felt like boring right through your soul, causing you to rip open the door right when she turned around to walk away.

Apparently not having expected you to finally open the door, Minji jumped in surprise, staring at you with wide eyes.

“Y/N...”

She whispered shocked and you wanted to ask her what she was doing here, when both of you suddenly heard voices in the hallway.

Already seeing your future being ruined in panic, you quickly grabbed Minji’s arm to pull her roughly into the apartment before slamming the door. Minji was now trapped between the door and your body while the latter was only inches apart from hers.

You took in her beautiful features after not being able to see her for so long and you realized just how much you had missed her. Minji was standing in front you like a deer caught in headlights in the meantime, panting like she was physically exhausted.

Suddenly realizing how close you were to each other; you cleared your throat while stepping back a little.

“What are you doing here?”

You asked almost coldly, causing Minji to gulp.

“I want you back.”

She admitted straightforward and you were surprised by her honesty.

“W-what?”

You stammered, not having reckoned on Minji taking the initiative.

“I have been lying, ok? You have just really hurt me with your accusation of randomly sleeping with my students. I thought you knew me better. But this is still no excuse for hurting you like that. And I’m sorry.”

She paused for a second, waiting for you to talk back but when you didn’t, she continued.

“I know this is complicated. But I think we can work this out. This is your last year. We can keep dating in secret, or even wait till your graduation if you want to. I can wait. But please don’t give up on us.”

Minji pleaded and your heart immediately hammered against your rib cage.

She searched for your eyes, waiting for an answer, but you simply didn’t know what to say. Of course, you wanted to jump into her arms and yell yes. But the incident a couple of days ago made your careful.

This could all be just a giant lie. What if you were just one of many students for her?

But you couldn’t believe that. Not if she looked at you like that right now.

Although you wanted to stay strong, you could feel your heart slowly defeating your brain.

“I need us to go slow though.”

You answered eventually after finding that your brain couldn’t come up with a reason that was crucial enough to win against your heart.

Minji’s face lit up instantly and a relieved sigh left her lips.

“We can go as slow as you want to.”

Her eyes started to glisten in the light, and you could see the tension leaving her body, causing her to reach out to grab your face.

Just when she was about to caress your face though, she remembered that you had asked her to go slow. Therefore, she sheepishly let her arms fall to her side again while mumbling an excuse.

Not being able to stay away from her as well, however, you took a step forward and cupped her cheeks with your hands to be able to attach your lips to hers. Finally, being able to taste her again, you immediately hummed into the kiss, especially when you felt her pulling your body flush against hers. You deepened the kiss, but it stayed soft, nevertheless, while both of you tried to express your feelings. This had always been more than just a hookup.

When you pulled away, Minji was smiling at you widely and you planted a kiss on her forehead, causing her to giggle and bury your head into the crook of your neck. You kept standing there in each other’s arms for a while until an idea popped into your head.

“How about we watch a movie?”

You asked Minji but she looked at you insecurely.

“What about your roommate?”

She responded, but you already started guiding her to your bed.

“Don’t worry. She won’t return until tomorrow morning.”

With that you pulled her between your legs on the bed, letting her lean against your body. You wrapped your arms securely around her and she looked back at you with a soft smile playing on her lips. Together you decided on a movie and you kissed the crown of her head a last time before turning off the bedside light and pressing play.

You smiled to yourself as Minji interlaced your fingers and kissed the back of your hand. Even if you had to wait till your graduation, what you had was definitely worth waiting for.

Better late than never.

[tabloidtoc]

National Enquirer, November 16

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Jeffrey Epstein’s madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s nights with Prince Andrew and teen Virginia Roberts Giuffre

Page 2: Brad Pitt kicked married galpal Nicole Poturalski to the curb after getting flak from his ex Angelina Jolie -- Brad’s relationship with Nicole hit the skids after Brad decided he needed to shore up his image during his ongoing custody battle with Angie and his focus right now is to get his dad image back on track and give Angie no more ammo to fling back at him

Page 3: Tiger Woods’ romance with Erica Herman has gone off course over legal troubles and wedding pressure and bickering over where to live and Tiger is so fed up he’s considering ditching his nagging girlfriend in Florida and moving back to his native California -- Erica’s been pressuring him to put a ring on it ever since she moved into his Jupiter Island mansion and that’s something he just won’t do and she’s already taken over his household buying new furniture and remodeling the master bath and building a new closet and hiring a gourmet chef -- California is looking better and better to Tiger who only moved to Florida to play on its tough Bermuda grass which helped improve his swing but now Tiger’s ex Elin lives in Florida with their two kids 

Page 4: Miranda Lambert is scoffing at ex Blake Shelton’s newly announced engagement to Gwen Stefani and she’s convinced Blake’s third walk down the aisle has failure written all over it because she thinks Blake’s bad to the bone and this marriage will wind up being a total disaster and after the hell Blake put her through Miranda can’t imagine his life with Gwen would be any different, lifelong bachelor Simon Cowell has had a change of heart since his horrific August accident and he’s finally ready to tie the knot with baby mama Lauren Silverman -- after spinal surgery to repair his broken back the entertainment mogul feels lucky to be alive and walking and the one constant in his difficult rehab after surgery has been Lauren and he wants to pay her back with a ring 

Page 5: Train-wreck Wendy Williams’ wacky behavior has TV producers scrambling behind the scenes to find her replacement after her unhinged performance on a recent episode of her talk show where she slurred her words and rambled incoherently -- there had been a hope a chatfest helmed by Nick Cannon could be a safety net should the daytime diva who spent a stint in a sober living house last year not be able to continue hosting but plans for that were pushed back after the comic made anti-Semitic rants in a podcast -- they also tried Jerry O’Connell when Wendy was out for three weeks last year but he tanked with viewers -- Wendy’s a mess and it remains to be seen how long producers will be able to put up with her problems before they decide to pull the plug 

Page 6: Grey’s Anatomy star Ellen Pompeo hinted that she may be making her final rounds -- Ellen who has starred on the show since 2005 and makes $20 million a year admitted she’s considering slipping out of her scrubs after the current season 17 but her departure could spell the end of the beloved series and show creator Shonda Rhimes has said it’s unlikely the show could continue without her but Ellen has also expressed her desire to spend more time with her husband and their three children

Page 7: Mariah Carey’s brother Morgan blasted her memoir as filled with lies and distortions and he’s considering legal action -- the book called Morgan and sister Alison her ex-brother and ex-sister and Mariah wrote Morgan had a long history of violence and when she was six he slammed their mother into a wall -- Mariah also wrote her siblings and mother were heartless in terms of dealing with her as a human being and once she got famous they started treating her like an ATM with a wig on but Morgan is fighting back and looking to hire a lawyer

Page 8: Reese Witherspoon’s marriage to Jim Toth is in the muck after the stunning collapse of his new business venture and tensions are mounting in the Hollywood power couple’s already troubled union now that the streaming service Quibi crumbled after less than six months leaving content acquisition president Jim out of work while Reese’s star continues to rise and there’s a real balance of power that’s been building up and that’s put a serious strain on the relationship -- living in quarantine added to the stress between them as Reese has been holed up with her two kids with ex Ryan Phillippe Ava and Deacon and her son Tennessee with Jim at the family’s ranch in Malibu

Page 9: Dementia patient Kenny Rogers cut his three adult children out of his $250 million will and now sources fear the late country legend could have been tricked into signing the document -- Kenny left everything to his 16-year-old twins sons with fifth wife Wanda and the will also stated it was his intent to specifically exclude his daughter Carole with his first wife and son Kenny Jr. with third wife and son Christopher with fourth wife and their issue as beneficiaries of his estate -- Kenny Sr. would never disown his own children according to the source especially since the singer’s son Kenny Jr. is incorrectly referred to Kenny Rogers III throughout the will -- the wording is not like Kenny Sr. and something is not right and his older kids are thinking about contesting the will 

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Kate McKinnon shot a Saturday Night live skit in NYC, Sophia Bush hit the road in L.A. with her co-pilot pup Maggie, pregnant Jinger Duggar Vuolo in Venice with daughter Felicity, Heidi Klum walking the streets in her native Germany, Snoop Dogg saluted young rappers as he accepted BET’s I Am Hip Hop award 

Page 11: Unwitting Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler once dabbled in the secret sex cult NXIVM -- the organization masqueraded as a self-help group but in 2017 it was exposed as a pyramid scheme for founder Keith Raniere who forced high-ranking female recruits to become his sex slaves -- in 2010 Jen and Gerry who were dating at the time wound up at one of the introductory seminars but they were turned off by the level of commitment expected and never returned -- they thought it was just a networking opportunity and had no idea what they were getting themselves into, cash-crunched Gwyneth Paltrow is facing hard times like everyone else and is looking to change her free-spending ways -- the belt-tightening caused by the coronavirus pandemic has even hit her lifestyle empire Goop causing her to shut down the London branch and make hard choices for the future -- Gwyneth may be worth $100 million but she and husband Brad Falchuk spend money like it’s going out of style on private jets they use on a whim and they own a fleet of fancy cars and pay steep salaries for staff who are at their beck and call 24/7 and it’s all draining their bank accounts -- they’re looking at making cuts across the board from personal trainers and chefs and drivers to the masseurs and beauticians who come to their house several times a week -- plus the couple believe it’s a bad look for them to be living so high on the hog when the rest of the world is suffering during the pandemic

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- Angelina Jolie spent years developing her own version of the Hollywood classic Cleopatra and now she’s livid that Gal Gadot has stolen the Egyptian queen -- Angie’s dream was to play Cleopatra the role that made Elizabeth Taylor an icon and it was to be the part that won Angie an Academy Award for Best Actress and now that’s over thanks to Gal who will be playing the Queen of the Nile instead, after ABC scrapped plans to honor Regis Philbin with a prime-time tribute Jimmy Kimmel insisted on honoring Regis on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, MSNBC talking head Rachel Maddow is fleeing New York for her Massachusetts farm after hanging a $2.3 million price tag on her NYC pad but Rachel didn’t want potential buyers looking through all the personal stuff at her apartment so all the personal pictures and books and clothing and everything else was shipped out and replaced with staged furniture, Ariel Winter and her dog (picture) 

Page 13: Ailing Joni Mitchell opened up about how she’s still struggling to get back to her old self five years after a debilitating brain bleed -- after Joni was found unresponsive in her Bel-Air home in 2015 she said she was forced to relearn everyday tasks because the aneurysm took away her speech and her ability to walk and although she’s showing slow improvement she hasn’t been writing or playing the guitar or the piano, Randy Travis is defying all the odds as he plans the greatest comeback in country music history as he is making amazing progress after suffering a massive 2013 stroke that most believed would end his career forever and he was given just 1% chance of survival and even after he pulled through doctors believed he would be bedridden and unable to speak -- instead his grueling rehab efforts have miraculously put him on the road to realizing his dream of returning to the spotlight -- some of his motivation is financial; last year he sold his Nashville home and released his memoir which was fueled by his need to pay medical expenses after years of not being able to perform

Page 14: Hollywood Hookups -- Channing Tatum and Jessie J have split again, Cole Sprouse and Reina Silva dating, Kate Beckinsale and Goody Grace split 

Page 15: Ariana Grande is raising eyebrows with her raunchy new record Positions -- the former squeaky-clean Nickelodeon star who has been dating real estate agent Dalton Gomez spouted off X-rated odes to an unnamed lover on the LP, six months after sidelining her marriage to former quarterback Jay Cutler Kristin Cavallari admitted there are good days and bad days but insisted it’s been nice to be able to focus on herself and figure out who she is now and what she ultimately wants out of life, hotel heiress Kathy Hilton is joining The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as a friend of the main cast which includes her half-sister Kyle Richards

Page 16: Crime 

Page 17: On Drew Barrymore’s talk show a psychic guest channeled the spirit of one of the host’s former in-laws but the man in question is very much alive -- medium Anna Raimondi told Drew she sensed the aura of a judge causing Drew to burst into tears and named David a relative of her ex-husband Will Kopelman claiming he’d passed but Judge David Kopelman is alive and still going strong -- Will slammed Anna was a submental hack and said he was surprised that Drew chose to give oxygen to someone like that

Page 18: American Life 

Page 20: Cover Story -- Prince Andrew is desperate to quash explosive testimony by his pedophile pal Jeffrey Epstein’s accused madam Ghislaine Maxwell but the socialite’s second secret deposition is torpedoing his return from royal exile -- after Ghislaine danced around details of her relationship with the disgraced Duke of York in testimony released a few weeks ago Andrew is sweating bullets about her second grilling under oath which contains details of their intimate friendship and nights with Epstein’s teen sex slave Virginia Roberts Giuffre 

Page 22: Don McLean viciously slammed ex-wife Patrisha Shnier as the worst person her ever knew but in their ongoing war of words she maintains he was abusive to her -- Don is still bitter over a 2016 domestic incident at their home in Maine that landed him behind bars and led to divorce after 30 years of marriage

Page 26: Matthew McConaughey confessed he nearly turned his back on Tinseltown to be a wildlife guide like late Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin -- he made a splash in a string of blockbuster rom-coms in the ‘90s and ‘00s but he was eager to move on to meatier movies and even passed on a $14.5 million paycheck in 2010 to seek more substantial roles and the struggle left him considering other careers such as a wildlife guide, Jamie Foxx has been crushed by the death of his beloved sister DeOndra Dixon who was born with Down syndrome

Page 28: Good Catch -- Bachelor stars who are still up for grabs -- Jon Hamm, Owen Wilson, Drew Carey

Page 29: Benicio Del Toro, Ryan Seacrest, Matthew Perry, some stars seem to say I do at the drop of the hat -- Larry King, Jerry Lee Lewis, Billy Bob Thornton 

Page 32: Olivia Munn was caught on camera flashing what looked like engagement bling on her left ring finger as she exited a gym following a morning workout in Los Angeles but she reportedly broke up with boyfriend Tucker Roberts last year leaving fans wondering who bought the stunning sparkler 

Page 36: Health Watch 

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Michelle Pfeiffer 

Page 45: Spot the Differences -- Allison Janney on Mom 

Page 47: Odd List 

[ohmykittenholy]

lumberjanes week day “three”: favorite brotp & otp (at once!!)

Uh so I lost my entire perception of time, as you do, so here’s my Diane and Molly brotp and Mally otp fic three hours after the day has ended.

Context is Molly and Diane have been getting pretty close (headcanons in other post basically apply) until Molly shows her her Greek Mythology fanfic and Diane makes fun of it a bit bc she has her own family and identity issues going on and Molly ends up really really internalizing it as she should be going to sleep, and Mal is on the bottom bunk trying to comfort her.

Trigger warning for self harm mention but no actual act, major anxiety/RSD and self hate, also it’s very very dark bc they’re in the woods so i talk about that a bunch

Sometimes Diane is an amazing friend. Sometimes Molly feels like her presence just lights her up, inside and out, her teasing and Molly’s awkward teasing back is a comfort when every word you say to everyone else is so calculated, so filtered, so...

Molly is tired of herself sometimes.

Tired that she thought she was strong enough for a new friendship like this, tired that it hurts so much after just a couple strings of words, maybe five, and a glance she keeps replaying and replaying and replaying in her head, she doesn’t want to be that girl.

This girl.

Whatever.

She’s tired that she thought she was made of the same light at the pantheon’s hearth, tired of her hopefulness that comes with daily archery practices at dawn and the zing and comfort of inside jokes and dizzyingly faster banter, almost indecipherable to anyone else. But then:

Icarus.

Wings.

She’s tired of having a heart that hurts this much, that stretches everything bad people say into painfully bright technicolor.

“Mol,”Mal asks softly, “you still up?”

“Y-yeah,” Molly whispers back. It’s pitch black in the Roanoke cabin, stars just barely peeking through the window and Molly automatically squints to find constellations, and then winces at the impulse and digs herself back into her sheet.

Luckily for them, everyone else sleeps deeply. Or pretends to, and hears Molly and Mal rambling to each other almost every night, and that’s a terrifying possibility Molly tries to block out.

She’s tired, and the other thoughts tangle incoherently in her head and it’s so much easier to focus on Mal’s voice.

“You didn’t talk much at dinner,” Mal says, like it’s a question, but it’s not.

Sometimes it hurts that she notices.

“Yeah no, um, not really.”

There’s a long, long, anxious pause.

“Can I come up there?” Mal asks, and Molly immediately feels the warmth of a blush on her cheeks.

“It’s- it’s really dark, I- you could hurt yourself trying to climb.”

“I thought you said I was brave, huh?”

It’s a joke, Molly knows it’s a joke, that Mal doesn’t mean it but...

“Mol. I would like to come up. If you’re comfy with it.”

“And I would like a girlfriend with all her limbs intact,”Molly says, her words gone wobbly, tears starting to catch in her eyelashes.

“Well I. Would like to comfort my girlfriend, and hopefully hold her hand, and that ladder is pretty stable and... this is not the first time we’ve done this, babe.”

“Okay,” Molly relents, heart twisting and twisting with the other girl’s words. She needs to stop being so sensitive, she needs to let this go, she needs-

There’s a Mal sounding creak on the other side of her bunk.

“Wow, yeah it really is dark out here,”Mal says quietly. “It’s never complete darkness in the city. You don’t think about that until you’re forced to, I guess. Spooky.”

“Comforting.”

“Sometimes, yeah.”

“You said hopefully we would...”

She’s too embarrassed to finish the rest.

“Oh. Yeah, hey, reach out your hand.”

Molly sits up and puts her hand in the void in front of her, feeling Mal’s wave around near it and then catching it and intertwining.

She thinks she’ll almost start crying again with how good it feels, but she just makes a little choked sound.

“Mol?”

“Do you ever wish you could take out your heart?” she says suddenly, their words interlapping.

“Molly,” Mal says back, her voice sounding so intently concerned it makes Molly curl up further in the dark.

“Not. It’s not about self harm. It’s a... metaphor. Do you wish you could... dial yourself back sometimes?”

“Yeah, me, of course. But never you.”

Molly doesn’t know how to begin with that, and the silence starts spooling around them again until Mal starts.

“Just... it’s like this. You still like me, right? Even though I don’t love the forest the way you do, and I’m always going to be terrified of the water and also a lot, a lot of other things, and even though I ramble to you constantly about bands you don’t care about.”

“I liked Beach Bunny!”

“Junk yeah! But, like you still-”

“It’s not even an “But I still like you.”” Molly interrupts, “I just like you. Those things are part of who you are.”

“Exactly,” Mal said, and Molly makes the sound of someone who had just walked into an obvious trap to make her feel better, and squeezes Mal’s hand.

“I’d never want you to take out your heart, Mol. I like you. So much, the whole person you are, and your feelings are so real and so valid. Someone who doesn’t understand that isn’t worth your time of day.”

“But it’s more complicated than that,” Molly starts and then stops, her point fuzzy with sleepiness.

“Sure. But it also sometimes it just isn’t.”

Molly squeezes her hand again.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime, you know?”

“Whyareyousogreat...”

“Huh?”

“Nothing, I just. I really like you.”

“I really like you too,”Mal says, and Molly can picture the smile sprouting on her face, and it makes her feel a little lighter.

She knows basically where Mal’s cheek is.

She has an outline in her head.

She kisses it, it smells like forest and the lemon face wash she uses and just Mal, and she lets it wash over her.

Catalogues it, a library of memories she wants to pull out later for when she’s not here.

“Oh,” Mal says.

“Was that okay?” Molly whispers.

“Yeah. I mean, of course. I mean- sweet Sappho.”

Molly doesn’t know how to respond to that, except start talking about Greek poets, which leads Mal to say a collection of words that are painfully familiar and has to-

“You’re quoting my fanfic?! Mal!!”

“I finally found it!”

“It took you weeks.”

“I had to use contraband phones! No one wants to share those! Unless you have an emergency and somehow according to Feryal “finding the most nerdy way to flirt with your girlfriend” is not that.”

“That sounds very hard,” Molly said, playing up the sympathy.

“I know, it’s a miracle I survived. My presence, truly a gift from the gods.”

“All of that,” Molly affirms, a smile creeping up on her face.

There’s a quick silence and a worry takes her under again. What if she thinks about my writing like how Diane did???

“Did you... did you like it?”

“Are you kidding me? Of course I did! You’re the best writer, I’m always telling you! You’ve got to teach me that play on words you did with “ichor” and how you figured that out, I need something like that for the song for the talent show. And the way you described everything! You should write song lyrics! Or poetry.”

“Mal.”

“What?”

“You’re not messing with me?”

There was a silence and then Molly felt just a small breath of a kiss on her cheek, and tried to contain her little gasp.

“Never,” Mal replied, and it was dark, darker than any city kid could fathom, but it was theirs and they could feel each other’s wide smiles like twin spirits in the pitch black night.

[killerqueenmachine]

Hello! I absolutely adore your writing and I was wondering if I could make a request? Brian and the reader being intimate with each other for the first time, passionate and loving smut, if it isn’t too much to ask for? Thank you, hope you have an amazing day!! 💞

A/N: Thank you so much for the kind words and thank you for making this request! I hope this is what you wanted 💝 I’m imagining this is like.. The early/mid 70s.

Also this “little requested blurb” turned out to be just shy of 2k words.. so theres that. 

_____________ 

“I love you so much” you whimpered against Brian’s lips as you pulled away from a kiss.

He softly moaned in response, snaking his hand around your waist to pull your body even closer to his. You gave in to his touch and completely melted into him. He gave your waist another squeeze which made your hands make their way up to his torso so you could place the palm of your hands against his chest, in an effort to create a bit of space between the two of you.

“Are you okay?” he asked while his lips were still faintly brushing over yours.

You felt great. More than great, actually. But the intimacy of this moment seemed to scare you just a little bit. You and Brian had never been intimate before. Sure, you had had your fair share of make-out sessions but it had never gone further than that. Simply because you didn’t want to rush it. At this point, you had been dating for almost six weeks and the sexual tension between you was at an all-time high.

“Uh, I’m… Yeah, sure. I’m okay” you stumbled through your words and gently pushed Brian a little further away from you, even though it hurt you to do so.

“Did I do something wrong?” his voice was fragile and you could see the concern in his face as he slowly took a step back and completely removed his hands from your body.

“N-no. Brian… I don’t know… I’m just nervous, I guess” you whispered as your eyes darted to the ground.

“Yeah… Yeah, me too” he said and dumped down on the couch behind him.

Your heart fluttered at his words. It felt nice to know, that he was nervous about taking your relationship to the next step too. You were sure that he wasn’t a virgin and neither were you, you had had that conversation a night where you had had a few too many glasses of wine. The possibilities of where this conversation could head now started to wash through your brain. You could either shrug it off, laugh and leave. Or finally, do something about it. Take that final step.

“You know what… Screw it” you said and walked over to stand right in front of Brian.

“Huh?” Brian just managed to lift his head to look at you before you grabbed his hands, pulling on them, silently asking him to stand up.

On his way up from the couch you pulled him closer to you, causing him to tumble forward and almost knocking both of you over.

“Please Brian” you whined against his shoulder as you wrapped your arms around his waist, holding him close to you.

He gently placed a finger under your chin, lifting your head to look at him. Adoration and love beamed out of his eyes as he bent down just a little to softly press his lips to yours.

Without a word he slid his hand down your arm and intertwined his fingers with yours, guiding you to his bedroom. You followed suit and took a long stride to get closer to him, wrapping your free arm around the arm that was holding your hand.

“Are you sure?” his voice was soft as he started to lead you towards the bedroom.

You stopped in your tracks, forcing Brian to stop too. He turned around to face you and the expression on his face clearly showed lust and worry. You softened your look and took a slow step closer to him, closing the space between you, before you gently placed your hand on his cheek, pulling him in for a soft kiss.

“I think the only time I’ve ever been surer on anything in my life, was when I said agreed to be your girlfriend” you giggled against his lips before pulling away just a little, to make it easier for you to obtain eye contact.

He softly huffed at your response and placed another gentle kiss to your lips before opening the door to the bedroom, leading you inside and silently coaxing you to sit on the edge of the bed.

“I’ve been thinking about this for way too long” he softly admitted as he slowly got on his knees between your legs.

“Uh, about what?” you said, trying to make a joke as you swiftly closed your legs.

Brian instantly turned pale and backed away from you, looking absolutely mortified.

“I- I thought… Oh my God I’m so sorry, I-” he rambled with a shaky voice

You started laughing and leaned forward to pull Brian back.

“I’m taking the piss. I’ve been wanting this for so long too!” you assured him and to further empathize your words, you grabbed the hem of your shirt and quickly pulled it off and threw it away.

“Oh.. You can’t just do something like that to me!” Brian huffed, slowly gaining a little colour back in his face.

You both laughed it off before Brian finally gained enough confidence to shuffle back in between your legs, softly tapping your hip, signaling for you to lift your body off the bed, so he could remove your trousers. You did as he silently asked, and the second your trousers were off he leaned forwards and pressed a few soft kisses to your inner thigh, looking up through his eyelashes to make sure, he wasn’t overstepping any boundaries.

His lips slowly made their way up to your thigh before ghosting over your aching heat. His hot breath against your heat made you whine and wanting to clench your legs together, but Brian simply wouldn’t let you. Instead, a soft chuckle left his throat.

“What do you want, baby?” he softly asked, slowly letting his fingers dance over your hip, every now and again gripping the elastic band of your panties.

You whined in response, bucking your hips into his touch, hoping that that would be enough answer for him. Of course, it wasn’t.

“Please use your words baby, I need to be sure this is what you want” he smirked against your thigh, pressing a kiss just beside your panty line.

“Bri-ah-an! Oh, I want you so bad. Please touch me. I want all of you. Please! I’m ready” you whined, tangling your fingers into his fluffy curls, gently pressing him against your body.

You felt him huff against you with a smirk, but it seemed to be enough answer for him. He slid his fingers into your panties and pulled them off you. To even out the clothing situation between the two of you he pulled off his t-shirt too, before diving into your heat.

As his lips make contact with your cunt you hissed and threw your head back. It had been so long since you had been intimate with anyone and to have Brian down there for the first time, feeling how he went about it, was amazing.

He was licking, sucking and nibbling away at your heat making a symphony of whines, moans, and whimpers fly out of your mouth. At a particular whiny moan, you felt him smirk against your skin, sucking on your clit just a little harder to let you know how much he appreciated your sounds.

“Fing-fingers Brian.. Please, I want your fingers” you begged, tugging on his hair just a little harder.

He quickly complied to your prayer and placed his middle finger right at your entrance, ever so softly drawing circles, barely pushing inside. You bucked against him, forcing him to slide the finger in which caused you to whimper.

He slowly pumped his finger in and out for a little while before adding another finger and repeating this motion. He didn’t let this go on for too long before he curled his fingers upwards, searching for your g-spot. Even with his incredibly talented fingers, it took him a while before he finally struck something within you that made you gasp and clench around his long digits.

“Oh, that’s a good spot, yeah?” Brian laughed, as he continued to brush his fingers over it.

You groaned in response, pressing his head back down to make him know, that you wanted his mouth to continue what it had been doing.

“I’m so close Brian, please… Just a little mo-oh-ore!” you whined.

Brian, however, had no intention of letting you finish on his fingers. So instead he moved away from you completely, causing you to whine and squirm in protest.

“I want to be in you,” he said, his voice sultrier than ever as he kissed his way up your body.

“Let me blow you first, yeah?” you replied while unclasping your bra and trying to squirm away from underneath him.

“Nope,” he said, popping the p just a little. “That is unless you want me to cum before I even get to feel that lovely little cunt of yours around my cock” he whispered against the shell of your ear before popping the button on his jeans and shimming out of them.

You softly giggled in response, running your hands up and down his back, scratching him just a little bit. He finally made his way out of his underwear and reached over you to fetch a condom from the bedside drawer.

You kept your eyes locked in on his face, watching him intently while he fiddled with both his clothes and the condom.

“I love you”. It seemed to just burst out of you like you absolutely couldn’t hold it in any longer.

He lined his cock up with your entrance before leaning down and kissing you.

“I love you too, my love. I love you so much! Are you ready for this?” he asked you, searching for any kind of regret or nervousness in your eyes.

“I’m ready. Oh God, Brian please just-”

You didn’t get to finish your sentence before Brian slowly thrusted into you, filling you up as you had never felt it before. Not that he was that much bigger than anyone else you had been with before, but the sheer power of how much you loved him made your senses heighten to a point where everything he did felt unbelievable.

“Oh.. God!” he moaned once he bottomed out and stilled for just a few seconds before pulling back out, to thrust back in.

You grabbed on to his shoulders and moaned as he picked up the pace. Neither of you spoke much, except for whines and incoherent words. Your hands roamed over every inch of his body that you could reach, every now and again finding their way on to his face, to pull him closer for a kiss, while he thrusted into you.

“Mh- love you” he whined, thrusting into you just a little harder.

You whined and moved your hand down between your bodies to rub your aching clit. Your orgasm was so close, it wouldn’t take you long to tip right over, once your clit got the attention it needed.

“Brian please tell me you’re close” you hummed before pressing a kiss to his face.

“Yes-yes! God, yes! I’m so close, please yes” he whined, messily thrusting into you. His pace was completely thrown off.

You applied just a little more pressure to your clit which immediately tipped you over the edge. You threw your head further back into the pillow and a high-pitched whine escaped your throat as you felt your orgasm wash through you. Your walls clenched around Brian’s cock, which was the last bit he needed to achieve his orgasm.

A deep throaty moan sounded from him as he spilled into the condom and stilled deep inside you, letting the last pulses of his orgasm wash over him. He stayed inside you for just a little while before finally pulling out of you and disposing of the condom.

Without any of you saying anything you slipped out of bed and tiptoed to the bathroom to clean up just a bit, before throwing on a fresh pair of panties and getting back to the bedroom to find Brian underneath the covers, almost asleep.

“Are you still awake, baby?” you softly asked as you wriggled down under the cover.

“Mmh” he hummed, clearly fighting to stay awake.

“Good. I just wanted to say that I love you” you laughed and pressed a soft kiss to his nose.

“I love you too. I love you so much and.. Mm” his voice was groggy and he was clearly more asleep than awake at this point.

You softly laughed at his adorable mumbling before shuffling closer to him and wrapping your arms around his torso, rutting your front against his back spooning him and holding him close to you.

You felt him relax in your arms as you pressed a kiss to his bare shoulder.

_________________TAGLIST JUST FOR THIS BLURB: @bubblypenguin123, @drivenbybri 💝

[saltine-kakyoin]

OH SHIT!!!! my clown ass never saw that u rb'd those ask posts, i was Looking at my notifs to see if u would so i could send u some but SOMEHOW I MISSED IT??? clown hours.... ANyways for the emoji one have 🤗💙💘🍀😇 and 👍 (tried to not do repeats from your ask 2 me cause they all apply anyways but, Regardless) and for the questions post, maybe 5, 11, 12, 17, 20, 23 and 25? ;__;/ ily so much and i hope u have a rlly lovely night!!! and that this coming week is kinder 2 u!!!! 💖💖💖💖

ahhh, it’s no worries!!! idk about you but for me, tumblr has been having the Time of Its LIFE lately wrt notifications and most disconcertingly, unfollowing people! D: so i completely get it, it’s no worries!!! ;w;/ i already know for a Fact i’m going to write so so much, so i’m gonna put this under a readmore >w< ruth 🤝 sarah respectful lesbian moments

edit: so I finished writing it and it’s Insanely Long- just in case you don’t make it to the bottom, thank you mein broth-er!!!! ; O; i hope you have a wonderful night too!! writing all of this out made me reminisce on some really nice times, and I’m having an a1 night! ^^ ilysm! it’ll probably be daytime when you read this, so i hope you have a great day! <3

🤗 given the chance I would gladly hug you

on god!!!! ;___; i think i would frfr dissolve if a got a Ruth-Certified hug, things have been so overwhelming lately

💙 you are my closest friend

the feeling is mutual!! <3 we don’t always get to talk often, but fhdhshg when we do we talk about like All of the Madness in Sarah’s Mind^tm, and you are so patient + tolerant of my incoherent ramblings which is something i don’t think i’ve ever fully experienced? anyhow, after a year (more than a year?) of having these kinds of convos and going through the general madness of life together, I totally agree ;w;

💘 I love you so much

i love you too!!! so so much!!! 💃🕺 i don’t think words will ever be able to express how much i love and appreciate you! 💜💛

🍀 i’m lucky to have met you

i know we talk about this often, but seriously i feel the same way! it’s a little crazy that we met, technically, because Joseph Joestar tm deserved more than to be a cheater... there is something hilarious about this wild friendship rooting from him!! of all jojos!! 🤢 but i’m so grateful that we met, it’s been such a wonderful ride ;w; <3

😇 you’re a sweet cinnamon bun

🥺🥺🥺🥺 bro i- fhdhghdhgh thank you!!! ;o;

👍 you are fun to be around

ahhh, thank you!!! i am glad you feel this way bc whoo boy, i think some other people would look at the madness i tell you about and go 👁️👁️ that’s a no for me, luvs. remember last year when i was losing it tryna prepare for ren faire + i cut my palm on that one glass bottle? bc a- i barely do and b- i feel like that moment encapsulates the nicki minaj roman holiday-ness of my life XD i’m really grateful you’ve stuck around through it all 🤗💕💖

now buckle in bro!!!! the essays are incoming!!!

5. Name a movie that makes you genuinely laugh.

i swear on my life the Mortal Kombat movie from 1995 is a national treasure, it is SUCH a solid movie and has so many funny moments. Robin Shou makes such a 🥺🥺 Liu Kang, and jesus fuck he can be so savage when the script calls for it!! there’s one part where he takes Johnny Cage’s luggage and straight up fucking chucks it into the ocean + then bullies him about it later! honestly the Ballad of Johnny Cage and His Luggage is one of my favorite parts from the movie <3 if you haven’t seen it + you like cheesy, old school movies, i really recommend it!!!

11. Describe the memory of the last time you felt true happiness.

So I can’t remember the last time I did, bc my memory is horrifically terrible + probably getting worse as time goes on?? but i will tell you about one of the more recent times I remember! :D There is one crucial expository note for this memory- my brother-in-law makes THE best chili in the entire world. my brother and I were trying to recreate it because it’s such a simple but delicious + filling meal- I think this was our first time trying to create it? and it was SO chaotic, the tomato sauce and stuff kept popping and burning me and we weren’t 100% certain that we’d gathered the right ratios for the ingredients and it was just. madness lmao. Chance’s chili is one that you leave alone for multiple hours at a time (I think this is the case for all chili but i don’t cook often enough to know ;__;), and we were kinda 👀👀👀 because we weren’t sure it’d turn out right? But it did!!!! I vividly remember when it was finished and we taste-tested it + went oOOH FUCK! it wasn’t quite the same as chance’s but ohhh my god it was so good 🥰🥰🥰 but yeah!! we ate it all up and I think this was around the time I started my playthrough of Esteban for Dragon Age 2? which was one of my favorite playthroughs for the entire franchise... he’s just a simple ig beard model mage ;w; i wanted to show you what he looked like in this post but the formatting went wonky so ig i’ll just post him separately?? it’s 1000% in-character for him to infiltrate my jojo blog 😔

12. Name a song that makes you feel ethereal.

hm...I’d say it’s between Forget About or Feet of Clay! They’re both such light and tenderhearted songs, and when I listen to them I feel like I’m in an apartment kitchen slow-dancing with a love, and it’s so dark except for the slowly rising sun. I don’t know if that feeling could be described as ethereal? but it’s close enough for me

17. What is something you own that is important to you? What makes it so important?

I have a small collection of scripts from the shows I’ve been in, and two of the most important ones are from the plays my high school put on during my sophomore and junior years, The Nit-Wits and The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940, respectively! The Nit-Wits has a ton of sentimental value to me because it was the last show I genuinely acted in, and it was a show we had to pull together in 2 or 3 weeks!! We were originally going to do a murder mystery play for the fall, but none of the cast was feeling it and it just wasn’t going to come to life in time (honestly this speaks volumes for how much we weren’t vibing with it, because all of our shows came together at like.. the final dress rehearsals if not opening night lmao). I vividly remember we took a vote during rehearsals about whether or not to switch the show, and then we did and it was SO fun + chaotic!! My character was one of the only regular characters in the show, but I think everyone else had a lot of fun acting as actors who were hired to be maniacal, and that made acting off of them so fun! I remember there was also a night my friend Adonis almost tore the entire set down because he ran through a door and tripped over a set brace in his haste!! The Nit-Wits is hugely important because it was a really fresh acting experience for me, and again, my last time genuinely on the stage and not behind the scenes!

MCM is important to me because it was the first play I ever stage managed! I’d stage managed our musical the spring prior, but that was a huge undertaking and involved many different people and moving parts. Stage managing a play, at least at my high school, was a calmer and more intimate experience, and one I really enjoyed! Another huge reason I treasure MCM’s script is because it is one of the last shows I had with my friend I told you about- he was a senior. I have little notes and doodles from the cast and crew scattered throughout my book for this show, and I remember being so irritated by this because it meant I was losing space for stage directions, cues, and notes. Now, I’m super grateful to have these scribbles- it’s one of the only things I have left of him. 

On that note, relating to him, MCM is also the show which birthed my most horrific theater horror story!! During one of the performances, I guess he forgot his line?? idk. But he ended up jumping six pages ahead of where the current scene was (I knew this bc I was following along in my book backstage + was frantically trying to figure out where he’d gone), which threw the entire cast, who were all tragically onstage, way off-track. This resulted in the most frightening game of script ping-pong I’ve ever seen: he’d skipped six pages ahead, so Adonis ended up saying a line from two pages after the six-page skip, and somehow someone else went!! oh I have a response to that line! And then said something like 9 pages back! I think the lead actress tried to ground everyone back to the lines they were supposed to be saying, but she ended up just saying a lot of their lines? And one of those lines that was supposed to be said by someone else was supposed to cue a black-out that someone got murdered in, but my lighting techie was SO fucking lost (we were both huddled over the script next to the breaker trying to figure out WHERE the hell we were! i think i had a flashlight in my mouth so I could flip through the book with both hands and thus faster??), so ofc the lights stayed up! I remember getting through this scene being the most painstaking endeavor of my entire life, but thankfully intermission was right after it! We actually extended intermission because the cast needed a hot second to fuckign RESET for Act 2 bc sweet jesus that was so bizarre...Needless to say, after that show we never messed that scene up again + everyone who acted in the show became super anal about knowing their lines as the years went on. The Six Page Skip became a legendary part of our hs theater Canon (like biblical canon ;w; although I don’t think anyone’s talked about it since my class graduated) alongside the times one of our ensemble dudes had to break through the roof of the girl’s dressing room to retrieve the keys to the theater + i got stuck on stage!

20. What’s the sweetest thing someone has done for you?

I really had to wrack my brain to answer this one, as I’m generally not the person people do things for, you know? This answer goes wayyy back, to 8th grade :O but so! there is mild exposition for this- when I started middle school, I lived in North Carolina, but we moved to Florida right before 7th grade bc my grandma is ill. We lived with my uncle while we were looking for a house, so I went to the local middle school bc why wouldn’t I? but in November, we finally found a house + my mom was like....So... are you going to switch schools or...I’d struck up some really solid friendships in this time, so i was like Mom I’d Rather Die OAO. So, we struck up a deal that I’d get to stay at that school on a zone waiver + that she’d drive me to school everyday. Sometime closer to the end of eighth grade she was like, yeah so.. I can’t do this for high school, it’s too much gas- which was valid! I was really sad about it, but I sucked it up.

Anyhow, fast forward to the last day of eighth grade, which was perhaps the saddest day I’d lived up until that point, mostly bc I knew I was probably never going to see all my friends again. My best friend, who I was like hardcore v close to + the person I shared all my wacky AUs and OC’s and headcanons with, was waiting with me for my mom to come pick me up, and then!!! When my mom pulled into the school she suddenly whipped out this lengthy letter she’d written to me about how much she enjoyed my friendship and how grateful she was that we were able to have lunch together (lunch was.. tragically ;__; the only time we really saw each other that year), and that she would never forget me! And she’d drawn me a ton of fanart from all the things I was obsessed with back then!! it was so much so fast, but then my mom was yelling at me to get in the car and I had to go :(

We kept in touch through email freshman year + fake-dated bc a senior was stalking me? ;J; and then we went to Megacon together! but I became really heavily involved in choir and theater after that, and we just kind of drifted apart :( we do follow each other on ig tho! It’s insane to think about her and that letter because on GOD ruth, that was a thinly veiled love letter and I never like... wrote her anything back that was as worthy as what she wrote me. But, she’s doing really well in uni now, so I guess it’s all okay? idk! ; o ;

23. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you think you fit the general characteristics of that sign?

I’m a Cancer!! and also a metal dragon by the Chinese Zodiac, which I’ve always thought was pretty sick! :3 I am 10000% your stereotypical Cancer, super emotional and introspective + often prone to tears ;u; My mom always said that dragons are steadfast and loyal people, and I think this also applies to me, to a fault. I checked around some websites to see what characteristics were often applied to metal dragons specifically, and it seems they are pretty strong-willed, ambitious, and generous? I don’t know if you could call me strong-willed or ambitious, but it’s all good ig.

25. What’s a song that gives off good vibes anytime you listen to it?

Ohh man, I went in on this question for Shannon, but bc I was digging around my library for Jules, I actually found an old fave! This song is from one of my all-time favorite musicals, Once on This Island- it’s The Human Heart! This song is so sweet, and god between the writing for the orchestra + the writing for the ensemble, this song is a straight masterpiece <3 I love love love the line, “Through your love you’ll live forever”, and although I am Hardcore Terrified of getting a tattoo, I really want that line tattooed on my body. if you have time, I recommend giving Once on This Island a listen!! I’ve never heard a show that uses its instruments and singers the way OoTI does (and holy FUCK it is so breathtaking live!!! I got to see it on Broadway and bro.... 🥺🥺 it was transcendental..)

[paperclipninja]

Younger Season 6 Official Trailer warm-up ramble

Ok, I have had every intention of writing a bit of a ramble about the Younger season 6 official trailer since it was released 3 weeks ago and now here we are, one week out from the premiere (how has the time gone so quickly?? But also, I have re-watched the entire series four times since last season ended and started an Instagram account solely dedicated to the show to get me through the hiatus so it has also been FOREVER...also I may possibly need to find some other hobbies (she says as she writes an essay about a promo trailer)...) So I thought I’d better dust off the ol’ over-analysing part of my brain in preparation for the new season because it has been a while since I’ve rambled or reviewed.

Frankly, there is so much to take in in that 2 mins of gloriousness that this is guaranteed to be incoherent at least some of the time, so let’s just start with the beginning and that moment on the brownstone stoop when Charles is telling Liza he has had feelings for her for 16 years and seriously, straight out of the gate, I’m not coping. I mean, I know in my brain that Charles and Liza are now a couple but seeing it, actually SEEING them standing there in broad daylight being all couply and flirty, my feelings were not ready. I am also not ready for the moment I have been waiting for with an absurd amount of anticipation, the Maggie/Charles meeting. Yet here is a glimpse, them sitting all comfy and barefoot on the couch just chatting away, Maggie giving him the bff once-over as appropriately ominous music provides the required effect of DRAH-MAH. I can’t wait to see that scene properly, I just have such high hopes for a Maggie/Charles friendship and I will be waving that flag this whole season.

Through the rest of the Maggie voice-over part of the trailer we get some Amato wisdom about two people who have been through a lot being perfect for each other or dragging each other down like anchors but honestly, at this point I’m finding it hard to concentrate because we have some ‘man coming up behind woman as she’s getting ready for work’ trope in play, which is very distracting for a number of reasons. And then there’s the Liza casually telling Charles she loves him thrown in and EXCUSE ME, for this I was 0% prepared (as was Liza it seems) and 26 seconds in, my deceased status is not boding well for actually making it to the June 12 premiere.

We also get confirmation that everyone at work finds out about Liza and Charles. I am HERE for the ‘it’s ME’ moment because who doesn’t love an open plan office workplace affair reveal (p.s. who ARE all those staff in the office? Where have they been the past 5 seasons? Do they know where Josh’s friends are?)? I’m loving the fancy looking event, this show rocks the glam and Diana, Enzo, Charles, Liza in a room together, seeing them all out and plus-1ing it, I want it all. 

I too want to hear about the regime change Redmond, thank you for asking and this Quinn situation looks every type of intense and I cannot wait! I just LOVE that they’ve made her book suck. The editing of the music to coincide with Quinn’s table taps in the restaurant is just too much, and honestly, the ‘guess who wrote a masterpiece, it will be our first release’ chant, that random lady joining in, Liza asking what’s happening = pure 24 carat tv gold. 

The Kelsey/Zane situation seems like it’ll continue to play out in season 6 and I hope we keep getting to see more sides to Zane because I felt like I was finally beginning to get a more filled out version of the character in season 5. Lauren continues to be Lauren it seems and that is exactly as it should be because she is perfect and I hope we see her do Heller good this season with all that ambition and drive she has.

The big cliffhanger from last season, the Josh/Clare baby ‘who’s the father’ scenario is still front and centre and look, I said it last season and I’ll say it again, I just cannot see why they would bring pregnant Clare back if the baby wasn’t Josh’s. It would be so unbelievably awful to Josh’s character, who just wants to love so wholly and is a refreshing representation of a young guy openly yearning to be a father, that I just can’t imagine the writers of this show going the whole ‘he thinks it’s his but then it isn’t’ route. And after the somewhat stagnant storyline for Josh’s character last season, I would love to see this character have the happiness he deserves and to develop as a stand-alone character whose purpose and development isn’t tied solely to him wishing he was with Liza. I big L LOVE Josh’s friendship with Maggie so I’m happy seeing him chatting to Liza and Maggie about what he should do. 

Which brings me to the scene I have joked about in the past but never thought I’d actually see and that is Charles and Josh laughing together (I’m assuming alcohol is involved) and I tell you, I want that image printed onto canvas and hung on my wall. I mean look, the writers of this show are smart and also, Josh and Charles have to at least get along civilly because otherwise the story is stuck. If Josh doesn’t want to engage with Charles or remains bitter towards him, then Liza is put into a really difficult position, as she would be if Charles took issue with her being friends with Josh or if he didn’t want anything to do with him. The show can’t move forward properly with that kind of set up IMO so I can’t believe that I’m now saying this and it could be a possibility (because I wrote about it as a far-fetched wish at one point), but I would love to see Charles and Josh strike up a friendship and I can actually imagine them chatting about fatherhood and there being a respect there for the fact they both care about Liza. I have no idea of the context of that laughing scene but I’m 99% sure that I will be playing it on a loop after it’s aired.

Ok, before we wrap things up (and lawd knows we need to, I mean, all these words from the trailer, heaven help us once the episodes start again!) there is an axe-throwing, police line up Diana and Kelsey situation that I am going to need much time to absorb once I see it in full but I already know that it’s going to be everything and nothing I expect *praise hands* 

Speaking of scenes that are everything and nothing I knew I wanted, whatever the dance sequence is with Liza in the white dress twirling into a very dapper Charles, I can only assume it’s some kind of dream/hallucination type thing (unless they somehow get roped into a dance competition somewhere??...will reserve my theories and predictions for another day) I am legit so excited to see it because it looks like nothing we’ve ever seen on this show before and after last season’s Cabaret gem, I’m all for these delightful nuggets and love that Younger continues to find new ways to surprise us 6 seasons in.

I think the big emphasis of the ‘you are running my ideas past Charles’/’are you questioning my loyalty?’ indicates some workplace tension between Liza and Kelsey and that Liza trying to balance her relationship with Charles and Kelsey is going to be a real challenge. Not to mention that ominous end to the trailer in which the music cuts out and we hear Charles say ‘I left my company to be with you’ *dun-dun-dunnnn*. My hope is that we see Liza continue to be the strong manuscript dropping boss woman from season 5 and to tell Charles that she never asked him to do that. I mean, I’m sure there’s a whole lot more to the convo, but where would the drama be in that?

As always, Younger have managed to cut together a premium trailer with the appropriate amounts of intrigue, suspense, misdirection and general excellence we have come to love and expect.  

So buckle in and get ready, the countdown has begun. Bring on Season 6!

[imnotinclinedtomaturity]

Love Yourself (Chapter 27)

title: Love Yourself summary: A lot of things about Dan’s life are pretty great. He gets to make the music he wants, he’s got a great fanbase, and his manager is his best friend. A few things about his life suck a bit more. He’s currently lacking inspiration, he’s rather lonely, and he’s stuck in a rut. Dan’s been going to the same coffee shop for years. It’s quiet, it’s quaint, it’s near his home. Most importantly: none of the employees give a shit that’s he a world-famous singer. Things change when he meets the new barista. chapter words: 8.8k story words: 219.6k (so far) chapter: 27/? rating: m warnings: language, alcohol, sex mentions, some bi/homophobia, eventual explicit smut, some depression genre: singer!dan, coffee shop au, barista!phil, slow burn [[ao3]] [[first chapter]] [[previous chapter]]

a/n: thank you to everyone for being the best audience i could hope for. i appreciate how patient y'all have been, how understanding you've been that i needed time time off because of Adulthood and Mental Health. i'm not feeling particularly articulate right now, but know that i love and appreciate you all. back to our regularly scheduled programming now! updates should come every 1.5 weeks-ish again :) also, a massive thanks to @auroraphilealis as always, not just for editing, but also for being a great best friend and a wonderful cheerleader. ily xx

Loud, persistent buzzing pulled Phil sharply from his sleep. It took a few sleepy seconds before he registered that the buzzing was his phone on his bedside table — and it was apparently ringing. Still half asleep, Phil waited until it stopped vibrating before reaching for it. It was too damn early to actually talk to anyone, but curiosity was still getting the best of him.

He pried an eye open and looked at the screen, instinctively flinching away from the bright light. Without his glasses, he was too blind to see who had called, but he could just barely make out the time — half past seven.

Nearly an hour before his alarm was due to go off.

That was nearly an hour of sleep that someone was trying to take from Phil. And after the whirlwind of last night’s date, Phil wanted nothing more than to sleep in. It wasn’t like Dan was here to give him a reason to get up.

With a stubborn, tired sigh, Phil rolled back into his pillow. Whoever had called could wait — at least until he was ready to get out of bed.

Just as he was drifting off again, though, his phone rang again. Grumbling, Phil pushed himself onto his elbows and held his phone close enough to his face that he could just barely make out PJ’s name.

PJ? Why was PJ calling him? PJ rarely called Phil. They skyped, sure, but those calls were usually scheduled and were always in the evening.

No, if PJ was caling at this hour, he must need something. And, unfortunately, Phil prided himself on being the Reliable Friend who always answered when his friends needed him.

Reluctantly, Phil swiped on PJ’s name, immediately putting the call on speaker so that he could fall back into his pillow.

“What the hell do you want, Peej?” Phil grumbled as soon as the phone call connected.

“Did I wake you up?”

“It’s not even eight in the morning,” Phil complained. “Of course you woke me up.”

“Mmm,” PJ hummed dismissively. “Are you with Dan?”

“No, I dropped him off after our date last night.” Phil stretched slightly, his hands reaching up under the pillow and hugging it closer to his face.

“Oh… have you, er, talked to him since?” PJ didn’t sound curious, and didn’t sound like he was trying to get information out of Phil about his date. PJ sounded… worried.

Growing concerned by PJ’s tone, Phil pushed himself back onto his elbows. “No, why? What happened?”

“I take it you haven’t been on the internet yet?”

“No. Get to the point, Peej,” Phil huffed impatiently.

“Dan — well, I thought maybe he’d’ve talked it over with you. I mean, twitter’s — fuck, how —“

“What the fuck happened?” Phil demanded, cutting off PJ’s rambling.

Even through the phone, and on speaker, Phil could hear PJ’s deep sigh, could feel his hesitation, before he finally spoke. “You need to look at Dan’s instagram. He sort of… made a big announcement in the dead of night.”

Phil felt a wave of dread wash over him. He certainly wasn’t sleepy anymore. A jumble of incoherent, panicked thoughts were battering at Phil’s brain, but he did his best to push them aside. Worrying wouldn’t do any good right now.

“Hang on, I’m pulling it up.”

Phil hit the home button on his phone with a bit more force than necessary, and was finally confronted with a frankly obscene amount of notifications given that he hadn’t done anything online since the day before yesterday, really. With a concerned huff, Phil swiped his glasses off his night table and shoved them onto his nose, the red dots on his iphone icons coming into focus.

Four hundred and twelve notifications from instagram.

One thousand, two hundred, and ninety from twitter.

Six emails in his work-only account.

And seven text messages.

Despite PJ’s urging to look at Dan’s instagram, Phil opened his messages first. There were three from PJ, which Phil ignored since Peej had clearly gotten ahold of him. Below PJ’s thread, there was a message from his mother and brother each. And finally below them were two messages from Dan.

The preview of their conversation showed that Dan’s most recent text — and we should probably talk — had come in at 3:34AM. That message alone made Phil’s heart pound against his chest.

“You there, mate?” PJ asked.

“Yeah,” Phil confirmed with a strangled gulp. “He texted me.”

“Oh?” PJ sounded interested.

Phil didn’t respond. He didn’t open the text. He didn’t breath. He didn’t do much of anything, really. He was frozen, trying to process what we should talk might mean, trying to convince himself it didn’t mean something horrible.

“Well?” PJ prompted when the silence drew on for too long. “What’d he say?”

“Right,” Phil mumbled as he forced himself to click on Dan’s message, to see what his previous message said. To see if it could make sense of whatever the fuck seemed to be happening this morning.

Phil’s eyes skimmed over his own four messages — he’d somehow blocked out the fact that he’d quadruple-texted Dan last night — before reading what Dan had said.

Dan [3:31 AM]: before you look at your twitter and instagram and whatever notifications, you should probably look at my instagram

Dan [3:34AM]: and we should probably talk

Together, the two messages did absolutely nothing to quell Phil’s anxiety. In fact, Phil’s heart was just thumping louder and more aggressively.

“He just said to look at his instagram.” Phil swallowed roughly. “And that we should talk.”

A quiet hum was PJ’s only response — another thing that didn’t help to calm the panic in Phil’s veins. Phil didn’t like the thoughts racing around his head, didn’t like that the first place his mind had gone was Isabella — and Dan getting back together with her.

Not that Phil really thought that was a risk, but still. The insecure part of his brain liked to remind him that Dan’s last partner had been a model, even if she was a bitch.

With a steeling breath, Phil tapped on the instagram icon.

It seemed to take a million and one years for the app to load, and when it finally did, it opened to a picture his brother had posted of his girlfriend.

Not helpful.

Not wanting to waste time scrolling through his feed, Phil tapped the magnifying glass. Dan’s name was at the top of his recent searches, a small “one new post” written below his username.

Quickly, but shaking with apprehension, Phil clicked on Dan’s profile.

It seemed to take forever for the page to load, but when it did, the first thing Phil saw was a picture of Dan’s scribbly handwriting, made all the more difficult to read by messy highlighting.

For a second, Phil was annoyed at the highlights, frustrated that Dan had obscured his writing even further than his nearly-illegible handwriting. But then the colors of the highlights sunk in — pink, purple, blue.

They were the bi-pride colors.

Phil knew, obviously, and he was certain Dan’s audience would know that, too.

By this point, Phil knew Dan well enough to know that Dan didn’t do anything unintentionally. Not in his music, not on social media, and not in real life. If he’d gone out of his way to highlight whatever he’d written and posted — well, the colors of the highlights were deliberate.

Phil bypassed the words in the picture and flickered down to the caption, hoping for a quick and easy explanation.

the majority of this album is being written thanks to one person. this is the song that started the whole concept of this album and i think it deserves a bit of an update after he took me out on the best first date of my life tonight. he might not have agreed with the timing of when i decided to rewrite it, though ;) xx

“Oh shit,” Phil muttered, dumbfounded, when the gravity of Dan’s caption finally sunk in.

“Yeah…” PJ murmured, his voice carefully neutral.

Phil glanced back up to the picture and scanned over Dan’s messy handwriting as fast as he could. From what Phil could tell, it looked like it was, well, about him. If the caption didn’t convince him, the let’s stop running from love and the fact that Dan confessed to rewriting something because of Phil last night…

“He came out,” Phil mumbled, unnecessarily pointing out the obvious.

“And took you with him, mate,” PJ grumbled.

Phil cocked his head to the side, his brows furrowing as he read and reread Dan’s post, trying to pinpoint what PJ was referencing. Nowhere did it mention his name or even anything identifying. The most telling piece of information was the he — but that pronoun could apply to a large portion of the world.

“How do’ya figure?” Phil asked.

“Mate, you and Dan haven’t been very subtle. Look at twitter.”

Even without opening twitter, Phil knew what PJ meant. Him and Dan had been, well, flirting for weeks now. There really wasn’t any other way to describe their online banter.

But upon skimming through his twitter notifications, Phil realized just how confident their audience was as they jumped to the albeit somewhat obvious conclusion.

Tweet after tweet had responded to Dan’s instagram post, all tagging Phil, all speculating on exactly who the he in Dan’s post could be.

And every tweet Phil saw guessed it was him.

And every tweet Phil saw was right.

“They all know anyway,” Phil mumbled flatly. He was supposed to be feeling something right now — surely he was. His boyfriend had just come out, his entire audience was — correctly — guessing that he was in a relationship with a famous singer, his own mum had probably texted him about it. And yet, Phil couldn’t wrap his mind around what he was feeling.

He just felt… surprised.

“Yeah. Are you okay with that?” PJ asked gently.

“I…” Phil tried to process all of the new new new as fast as he could. “I guess it was never that secret that I liked guys. I mean, how many times have I mentioned finding male celebrities attractive?”

“That’s true,” PJ agreed. “But I also know that hinting and confirming are two different things.”

“I mean… yeah,” Phil finally relented.

“But you didn’t know Dan was going to do this?”

“No…” Phil chewed on the inside of his cheek as he thought through all of the conversations him and Dan had had about their public image. “He made it sound like he didn’t want to come out at all.”

“What changed?”

“I don’t know,” Phil responded tersely.

He should know.

“Do you think he wants people to know that you’re the guy?” PJ pushed.

“I don’t know!” Phil snapped

He really should know.

There was a beat of silence on the other end of the line.“Sorry,” PJ muttered, clearing his voice before he spoke again. “What do you want?”

“I… don’t know,” Phil finished lamely.

Turns out he didn’t know much of anything.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” PJ offered softly.

“I…” Phil tried to think about it, he really did, but his mind kept coming back to why why why. At the end of their date, Dan had pulled Phil into the bloody loo to kiss goodnight, presumably because Dan hadn’t wanted the waitstaff to see, and then just a few hours later, Dan had gone and done that. “I need to talk to Dan. To know what the fuck happened.”

“That’s fair,” PJ agreed. “Can I do anything to help?”

“No, I’m just… gonna call him.” Phil pushed his glasses onto his head and roughly rubbed his face — an attempt to both wake up and alleviate some stress. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“Ring if you need me, okay? And let me know how it goes.”

“I will. I’ll text you later,” Phil promised. “Bye Peej.”

Needing to cancel his ten o’clock meeting with his manager, Phil opened his work email to send off some excuse, only to find that Marianne had already emailed him. Along with three people from the BBC. And every single subject line contained the name Daniel Howell.

How the hell had all of these people been up and about and reacting to social media already?

Phil ignored the multiple emails from the BBC, but opened the one from Marianne. He skimmed through the message, where she basically just pointed out what he already knew — that his audience had drawn some pretty big conclusions based on something Dan had posted. At the end of her email, she suggested they “review possible responses” during their meeting that morning.

Not fucking likely, Phil scoffed.

Quickly, Phil typed out the most adult version of sorry for the late notice, but I need to cancel our meeting because my brand-new boyfriend went off the walls in the middle of the night and I have no idea what’s happening. He didn’t bother to read it over again — now wasn’t the moment for proofreading — and immediately dialed Dan as soon as the email was sent.

The phone didn’t ring though, and instead went straight to voicemail. “Dammit Dan,” Phil mumbled in aggravation, hanging up before Dan’s voicemail could start recording.

Chewing on his lower lip, Phil thought through his options. If Dan’s phone was off, then no amount of texting or calling or facetiming would do any good. It was frustrating to have no way to contact Dan after he’d dropped such a massive bomb.

Except, well, that wasn’t quite true, was it?

Dan had put Phil on his permanent visitors list, so theoretically Phil could just… show up. Which might be a bit of a rash move but…

But nothing.

Phil was confused and caught off guard and felt like he deserved an explanation. Despite the early hour, Phil threw off his blue and green check comforter and pushed himself out of bed with steadfast resolution.

He wanted an explanation and, goddammit he’d get an explanation.

On shaky, tired feet, Phil riffled through his drawers for suitable trousers while kicking off his emoji pajamas. No human being — especially not his fashiony, hot new boyfriend — needed to see him in those. The first somewhat acceptable option Phil’s hand landed on were a pair of rather tight joggers, but he couldn’t be arsed to care at that moment. They’d have to do.

He kicked all the way out of his embarrassing, yellow pajamas and pulled on the tight sweatpants in their place. His loose Friends shirt would have to do, because he didn’t feel like wasting the time to find a suitable replacement, and it wasn’t that awful of a shirt.

Phil’s hair was probably a right mess too, but he couldn’t be bothered to deal with that either at the moment. All in all, this was definitely the least effort he’d ever put into his appearance when he knew he was going to see Dan, but he was growing impatient. Doing anything other than pulling on a jacket and shoes felt like it would waste too much time.

Even the three minute wait for the uber felt like too much time, and Phil had to refrain from just starting to walk over when he got downstairs and the car wasn’t there yet. But the car arrived before Phil could do anything rash, and Phil climbed in with only the briefest of smiles to the driver. His five star rating might take a hit, but he didn’t particularly care at that moment.

On the drive to Dan’s flat, the impatience in Phil’s stomach grew into something… more desperate. The more time he spent longing for an answer, the more he felt like he should already have one — like he should have known about what Dan was doing before he’d done it. And of course, of course, it was Dan’s decision if he wanted to come out — and hell, Phil was downright ecstatic for him — but Phil couldn’t help feeling like…

Feeling like he should have been part of the decision if Dan was going to so nearly pull Phil out of the closet, too.

Not that Phil was hiding in the closet, persay. But as PJ had pointed out, there was a big difference between hinting and confirming, and what Dan had just done was suddenly pushing Phil to confirm. And that Phil couldn’t quite wrap his head around.

He wasn’t against it. Not quite. But — fuck. He really would have liked to have been a part of the decision.

The process of getting into Dan’s building was the easiest yet, this time. All Phil had to do was tell the doorman his name and that he was there to see Dan before he was getting ushered into the lift, the seven button already pressed for him.

The ride up to Dan’s apartment felt shorter than normal — so short that Phil didn’t have time to collect his courage and figure out exactly what he wanted to say. When the doors opened to Dan’s flat, Phil hovered uncertainly in the lift, suddenly worried that it was incredibly rude to just invite himself over to Dan’s flat. Maybe Dan’s phone had gone straight to voicemail because he’d turned it off so he could sleep. Maybe Dan wasn’t ready to tell Phil about what he’d done.

But no, that wasn’t quite right. Dan had texted Phil, had told Phil to look at his instagram and had even said that they needed to talk. So it wasn’t absurd that he was here, now.

The lift doors started closing, the sudden movement pulling Phil harshly out of his spiral of anxious thoughts. Phil’s body, for once, was a step ahead of his mind, because his arm flew out to catch the door before he processed what was happening. He hurried out of the lift and into the foyer before the door could start to close again.

Dan had put Phil on his permanent visitors list. This was fine. It wasn’t insane that Phil was here right now.

Determined, Phil pushed his way further into the flat, walking quietly towards Dan’s room. He only made it as far as the lounge, though, before he ran smack into someone.

Someone much shorter than him or Dan.

“Phil?”

Surprised, Phil’s eyes scanned down and he took in the young woman standing in front of him — he certainly hadn’t been expecting anyone else to be here, and now he really was feeling like just coming over might have been a dick move.

“Louise?” he asked tentatively, nearly positive that he recognized her from Dan’s instagram and pictures he’d shown him of Darcy and her mum.

“Yes!” Louise greeted, her voice hushed. “I’m glad it’s you, when I heard the lift ding I thought —” She cut herself off, glancing back over her shoulder into the lounge. “Well, nevermind. Tea?”

“Oh, er…” Phil glanced over her head, his eyes drifting back towards Dan’s room. As much as he knew that Louise was definitely someone that he should be trying to make a good impression on, Phil really didn’t want to sit down for a cuppa right now. His mind was still reeling from the whirlwind of this morning, and he could barely think straight, much less talk coherently to a stranger.

But regardless, he knew how important Louise was to Dan — and how much Louise’s opinion mattered to him — so Phil pushed back the swirling confusion muddling his head and forced himself to smile pleasantly. “I might just look for Dan if you don’t mind.” Anxiously, Phil rubbed the back of his neck and hoped that his smile wasn’t coming out too much like a grimace.

Louise’s eyes flicked behind her. Her tense shoulders and skeptical eyes gave Phil the feeling that she wasn’t sure if him seeking Dan out was a good idea. “He’s asleep at the moment,” she said, pursing her lips and staring at Phil thoughtfully, like she was trying to figure him out. “You sure I can’t interest you in tea? He’ll probably be asleep a while.”

“I…” Phil’s eyes darted around as he searched for an excuse out of socializing. Much to his dismay, he couldn’t easily find one. He opened and closed his mouth as he desperately tried to find a polite way out of making small talk with Louise — this certainly wasn’t the first impression he wanted to make on Dan’s best friend.

“I’m not really up for tea, right now,” Phil blurted out abruptly, settling on the truth and cringing at his bluntness. Phil shifted his gaze down to his feet, unable to continue meeting her eye. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “This morning’s just been a lot already, and…”

Louise sighed, and shot Phil an unsure look. Phil watched as her arms came up, and she crossed them over her chest. “Dan had a late night last night.”

“I know,” Phil admitted, anxiously shifting back and forth on his feet. “But I need to talk to him.”

“And you can wait until he wakes up,” Louise said with an air of finality, her arms still crossed in front of her.

Phil sighed and tugged on his sloppy quiff, aggravated — not quite at Louise, just more at… the situation in general. His phone felt heavy in his pocket, and he was hyper aware of all of the emails and texts that he needed to respond to.

Emails and texts that he didn’t know how to respond to because Dan hadn’t fucking talked to him.

“Look,” Phil said, keeping his voice as steady and calm as he could. “I kind of woke up to a PR nightmare this morning and —”

“Oh god, are you not out?” Louise interrupted, her eyes growing wide in panic.

“I — mostly,” Phil hesitated, unsure how to phrase it. The being out thing wasn’t exactly his main problem here. “Never in crystal clear words, but it was out there.” Phil shrugged that particular concern off. “But, like, I hadn’t told my manager — or even my mum — that I was dating Dan yet, and now they definitely both know because they aren’t idiots.” Phil gestured around wildly, his arms trying to convey how absolutely insane the situation was so that he didn’t end up shouting, despite his frustration. “I’m not sure who’s going to be more upset about not knowing. And I can’t even respond to them, because I have no idea what to say because I have no idea what the fuck happened. We haven’t even discussed if we want our relationship to be public or how to handle the media or anything!”

Phil’s arms fell to his sides, limp and useless, as his rant came to a sudden, frustrated end.

His little tantrum must have done some good, though, because Louise looked a bit more empathetic now.

“I get it,” she sighed, sounding resigned. “I’m a manager. And a mum.”

“Thanks,” Phil smiled tersely. “So then you won’t mind if I…?” he gestured vaguely over Louise’s shoulder.

Her eyes traced over him slowly, carefully appraising him. “Fine,” she relented after a minute. “Just… try not to be too hard on him, okay? I’m sure he’ll be in a touchy mood when he wakes up.” Despite her understanding words, Louise still looked wary.

Phil wondered how many stories of hot-tempered, passionate fights Louise had heard over the last year.

“I promise I won’t be a — I won’t be like Isabella,” Phil offered, hoping that the heavy, sincere weight of his voice would convince Louise that he was different.

Louise’s eyes grew wide, her jaw falling open just a hair — she looked surprised, but maybe also a bit… pleased? The tenseness in her shoulders melted — at least some — and she looked less wary. The assurance that not only he knew about Isabella, but was also determined to be different seemed to matter to Louise.

“Good. Because you’ll have me to report to if you hurt him,” Louise threatened, but there was a humorous glint in her eye and a hint of a smile ghosting her lips.

“I won’t hurt him, but that’s a deal.” Phil smiled weakly with an emphatic nod. “So is it okay if I…?” Phil pointed vaguely over Louise’s shoulder, trying to ask her to let him by as gently as possible.

Louise nodded, stepping around Phil towards the foyer. “Yeah, I’m going to nip out then. Tell Dan to text me at some point today, and be nice.”

Phil was tempted to make a sarcastic comment, but didn’t want to risk Louise’s trust. He couldn’t help feeling like he was on a very short leash as it was right now. “I promise I won’t even scream or anything, okay?”

“Good,” Louise said with a smile before heading for the lift. Just before she got to the foyer, she spun around to face Phil again. “Good luck with your mum. And manager.”

“Thanks,” Phil laughed with a genuine smile. “I think I’ll need it.”

Phil waited for the ding of the lift, wanting to make sure Louise was well gone before he sought out Dan, before gathering his courage and carrying on down the hallway. For a split second, he hesitated outside of the closed bedroom door, not completely certain that it was acceptable for him to just burst into Dan’s room and wake him up.

But the memory of the literal thousands of notifications was fresh in Phil’s head, so he pushed open the bedroom door anyway.

The bed, however, was neatly made, and there was no Dan in sight.

Weird. Louise had definitely said that Dan was still asleep. Maybe the guest bedroom?

Confused, Phil stepped backwards and turned back down the hallway, peeking his head into the next room. No Dan in that bed, either.

Phil couldn’t imagine that Dan would be in the music room, and he wasn’t sure where else to look other than the lounge. Phil made his way back, tentatively looking around the lounge entrance before entering.

Curled up on the sofa, still in his tight studded sweater from the night before, was Dan. Despite Phil’s confusion and anxiety, his heart melted. Dan’s hair — and the entire lounge, now that Phil was really looking — was a complete wreck.

There was glass on the floor, both large chunks and shattered shards, that Phil had to navigate around on his way to the sofa. The table — which Phil was accustomed to seeing in a pristine state — was covered in papers and — oh god was that the lube? — on one end. Dan’s notebook was open on the floor, surrounded by a hodge podge of markers. Phil had to bite back the urge to flip through it, to see what else Dan was working on, to pry just a little.

That wasn’t what was important right now, though. Phil turned his back on the mess and properly took in Dan’s lanky body curled up tight on the sofa.

Looking more carefully, Phil’s eyes lingered on where Dan’s trousers were riding down, a soft pale patch of stomach poking out. Dan’s hands were cradled near his face, and his phone was dangling from his fingertips. Phil hovered above Dan, rocking back and forth between his feet as he tried to decide if he really should wake Dan up.

Phil knew Dan had been up late — close to four, at least, and that was assuming he’d gone to sleep straight after texting Phil. Letting Dan sleep a little longer was definitely the nice, selfless thing to do.

But Phil was too anxious and desperate for answers to be selfless right now.

Before Phil could lose his nerve, he reached out and poked Dan’s shoulder.

The poke, however, didn’t seem to be enough to rouse Dan from his sleep. “Dan?” Phil tried, his fingers rubbing into Dan’s bicep a bit harder. “Babe? Wake up?”

“Mmmh,” Dan grumbled. Even in his sleep, Dan seemed reluctant to be roused.

“Please babe? I really need to talk to you,” Phil pleaded. He switched tactics and grabbed ahold of Dan’s shoulder, gently shaking until Dan started stirring.

“Louise?” Dan mumbled, nearly incoherent, without opening his eyes. “Wha’ d’ya want?”

“No, it’s Phil,” Phil corrected.

“Oh.” Dan’s eyes fluttered open, slowly drifting upwards to meet Phil’s.

They were red. Much redder than they normally were when Dan woke up.

The rawness of Dan’s eyes, and the way he rubbed at them, made Phil wonder just how late of a night Dan and Louise had had.

Blearily, Dan’s gaze fell from Phil’s, scanning the room before landing on his phone. Without saying anything else to Phil, he tapped the home button, only to sigh when it wouldn’t come on. “What time s’it?” Dan asked blearily.

“About eight thirty,” Phil guessed without actually checking a clock.

Dan nodded, his eyes drifting back to his phone. “Hang on,” he said, “Lemme plug this s’in ‘nd get some coffee.” Dan pushed up off the sofa, stretching slightly and making his sweater ride up even further. “Want some?” he asked, eyes bleary as he glanced at Phil before turning to leave.

Phil’s brows furrowed, bewildered that Dan was so casually offering him coffee.

As if nothing major had happened since they’d last seen each other.

“Wait—” Phil said as he reached out and caught Dan by the wrist, preventing him from going anywhere. “Are you not even going to acknowledge it?” he asked, annoyance starting to creep into his voice.

Dan raised his eyebrows, but didn’t say anything.

Phil blinked back rapidly, baffled by Dan’s lack of… well, anything.

“Oh come on, don’t play dumb,” Phil groaned, irritated. Dan’s eyes grew wide and he held Phil’s gaze for a fleeting moment before flickering off to the side. In the brief seconds that Dan had looked at him, Phil could see entire pools of emotions — emotions that he wasn’t quite sure what to make of. There was sleepiness, but there was also worry and… something else.

Something that Phil really wished Dan would just share with him.

“Your texts? Instagram? The internet?” Phil prompted, his voice growing more and more pointed with each suggestion when Dan didn’t say anything.

Dan ran his free hand through his hair, grabbing at the ends of his curls and tugging. His eyes drifted back to Phil’s, and he stepped minutely backwards, his hand nearly coming out of Phil’s grip. “I know, I know,” Dan finally sighed, sounding defeated “I just really need some fucking coffee first. I had a long night.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve had a long morning,” Phil countered; his fingers wrapped more tightly around Dan’s arm, his nails insistently digging into the soft underside of Dan’s wrist.

Dan flinched back, his hand yanking backwards out of Phil’s grip and curling protectively against his chest. “I suppose that’s my doing, then?” he asked meekly as he stared down at the space between them.

Phil shot Dan an unamused look, not that Dan was looking up to see it. A part of him was itching to reach out and force Dan to look up at him, but Dan didn’t look like he’d be okay with Phil touching him just now. “No, I normally wake up to thousands of notifications after a nice quiet day away from social media,” Phil quipped, unable to keep a sarcastic edge out of his voice.

Dan’s eyes clamped shut, and he drew in a sharp breath. His arms shifted to cross in front of his chest, his entire body crumpling in on itself. “Just… hang on,” Dan begged softly without looking at Phil. He sounded so small, so young. Guilt washed over Phil — he was responsible for making Dan look so vulnerable. “Let me get a cup of coffee. Please.”

Phil drew his hands back to his side, shoving them in the front pockets of his joggers as a silent promise that he wasn’t going to try to stop Dan. “Of course,” he nodded, trying his best to keep his voice soft and even. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

With a small shake of his head, Dan teetered away from Phil cautiously and backed out of the room without ever turning fully away. At the last second, Dan spun around, narrowly avoiding running into the doorframe as he exited the lounge.

It was an odd reaction, one that gave Phil the sense that Dan was afraid to turn his back on Phil. Self-defensive reactions like that weren’t usually natural — they were learned.

Phil swallowed thickly, suddenly wondering how deep Louise’s fears ran. Dan’s movements were shaky, guarded, and he seemed to be fighting the urge to not look over his shoulder. Not wanting to make Dan more uncomfortable, Phil trailed behind at a distance as Dan led the way.

In the kitchen, Dan went straight to start the coffee and Phil came to a rest at the opposite counter. Dan still wasn’t meeting Phil’s eyes — hell, he wasn’t even looking up — but Phil could tell that Dan knew exactly where Phil was by the wide berth he gave Phil’s spot along the counter.

The entire kettle shook when Dan filled it with water; his hands were trembling, but his jaw was set, rigid. “Coffee?” Dan murmured without glancing over.

“Sure,” Phil accepted quietly. He made an effort to keep his voice as soft and gentle as he could. “Milk —”

“And two sugars, same as your tea. I know,” Dan interrupted quietly. If something weren’t so clearly wrong with Dan’s behavior right now, Phil would have been touched that Dan knew how he took his coffee. Instead, Phil was hyper-focused on Dan’s shaky movements and watched carefully as Dan rummaged through the cupboards, finally pulling out a ceramic soup bowl that was nearly mug-like and — oh. Phil had forgotten that Dan only had one functioning mug.

Because Isabella smashed the rest. In a fight. A fight unlike any fight Phil that had ever had.

Regardless, Dan poured milk and sugar into the proper mug, adding only the smallest spoonful of sugar to the makeshift mug. That was so typical Dan — putting others first, always striving to make others happy. Phil’s lips twitched for a second, nearly quirking up into a smile at Dan’s persistent thoughtfulness.

Phil waited in silence for the kettle to boil, knowing that he wasn’t likely to get anything useful out of a sleepy Dan. Plus, he hoped that a bit of quiet — and space — would help calm whatever Dan’s fears were.

It felt like it took the coffee maker ages to brew their coffee. Phil was growing well anxious, and Dan didn’t seem to be in much of a better state. Eventually, though, Dan was pouring two cups of coffee, passing the polka dotted mug to Phil, and hugging the soup bowl close to himself.

Dan took a large gulp of his coffee, only lowering it a few centimeters when he was done. The mug was held up high, nearly obscuring his face, and his gaze was focused on the black liquid inside. Dan’s arms were tucked into his chest, and his shoulders hunched up. Again, Phil was struck by how small Dan looked.

“Well? Let’s hear it then,” Dan whispered without looking up.

“Hear what?” Phil asked, head cocked, confused.

“You’re mad at me, so let’s just… get the part where you yell at me or whatever over with.” Dan’s eyes flicked up, just barely landing on Phil, and looked back at his coffee so quickly that Phil would certainly have missed it if he wasn’t watching Dan so closely.

Phil’s heart plummeted into his stomach as Dan confirmed his dreaded speculations — all of this, all of Dan’s current behavior, had something to do with how fights had gone in the past. Phil opened and closed his mouth, sputtering stupidly like a fish as he tried to figure out what to say.

“I didn’t come over here to yell at you,” Phil tried his best to placate his boyfriend, even though he didn’t really know how. Not right now, not with this new, scared Dan.They’d only had one tiff since meeting, and then it’d blown over because Phil had dropped it. But it wasn’t a lie — no matter how desperate and confused and frustrated Phil was, yelling at Dan was never his intention.

“But you are mad,” Dan said simply, still addressing his coffee more than Phil.

“I’m not mad, I’m… in shock, I guess.” Phil blew on his coffee, stalling for time as he grappled for a way he could express his frustrations without unnecessarily startling Dan.

“Call it whatever you want, but I can tell you’re not happy with me,” Dan mumbled.

“Okay, fine,” Phil relented, swallowing his trepediations and deciding to speak his mind. “I was shocked when I woke up to thousands of messages on my social media talking about you coming out and speculating about us.” Dan nodded — a microscopic, subtle movement — but didn’t say anything, so Phil continued. “And I’ll admit that I was a bit miffed when I realized that Louise was here but you didn’t even try to contact me last night.”

“Louise is my best friend,” Dan pushed back, a hint of anger in his voice.

“And I’m your boyfriend now!” Phil insisted. “In order for a relationship to work, we have to communicate, Dan.”

“You’re not my fucking boss,” Dan barked. “I can talk to whoever the fuck I want to. And if you’ve got a problem with Louise, you can just leave now.” There was a harsh edge to Dan’s voice, but beneath it, Phil could just barely tell that it was shaking — shaking with what, he wasn’t sure. Anger, maybe. Or fear.

“I don’t have a problem with Louise,” Phil argued. “It’s just — I texted you four bloody times last night. You could have talked to me if you needed… I don’t know, help, or whatever.” Phil waved his hand in frustration as his words failed him.

Dan sat his mug down on the counter, a loud clack filling the kitchen as the ceramic made contact with the granite countertop. “Look I just spent a fucking year with someone who didn’t like Louise and hated that I went to her for stuff, and if you’re gonna be that way too, then just fuck off already,” Dan spat out harshly.

If Phil wasn’t already leaning against the opposite counter, he would have jumped back at that. As it was, his lower back dug into the counter as he recoiled from Dan’s words.

“Don’t fucking compare me to Isabella!” Phil snapped, disgust and horror holding tight in his stomach. “I don’t give a rat’s ass that you go to your best friend instead of me sometimes, but when you end up doing something that all but confirms that you and I are dating, yeah, I’d like to be a part of the decision!”

“You can’t control me Phil.” Dan’s shoulders drew up impossibly closer to his ears, his voice growing high pitched. “I can’t take the time to get written permission from you every time I want to say something about my album.”

“And I’m not asking you to!” Phil retaliated. “But couldn’t you have waited, like, a day so that I wasn’t completely blindsided by you basically outing me when I woke up this morning?”

“No,” Dan huffed, an edge of stubbornness cutting into his defiance.

“No?” Phil asked incredulously.

“No,” Dan repeated, his voice even more forceful this time. “You couldn’t have talked me out of it.”

“I wouldn’t have tried to!” Phil exclaimed before he could process what Dan had said — before he could process that Dan seemed to think that Phil would try to control him. In some ways, at least. “I get that given… your album…” Phil trailed off as he grappled for the right words, words that would capture how Dan’s album affected Phil’s life without him sounding ungrateful or overly important.

He took a deep breath before continuing. “I get that your album is going to take away some of the privacy and control over my image that I’m used to having online, and that’s fine. But couldn’t this have waited, like, a day so that we could talk about it first? And I could… I don’t know, tell my family we were properly dating first?”

Dan shook his head forcefully, his curls flopping down into his face. “You don’t understand Phil. There wasn’t time. It had to be now.”

“What is that even supposed to mean?” Phil huffed, his free hand lacing through his hair and pushing it further back.

“You wouldn’t understand,” Dan snapped, his arms crossing hotly in front of his chest.

“I’m sure I would if you would stop being defensive for five seconds and actually explained yourself!” The words flew out of Phil’s mouth before he realized what he was saying. They were harsh, yes, but they were true. It felt like all Dan was doing this morning was be overly contrary for no discernible reason, and he wasn’t fucking listening. Phil didn’t want to be angry right now, he really didn’t. It was just hard when Dan was acting like this.

Dan appeared to have heard that, though, if the way he flinched backwards was anything to go by.

“Excuse me?” Dan challenged. He sounded positively outraged, his tone just this side of livid. His shoulders were shaking, and Phil could see anger flaring in his eyes.

And something else, too. Something like… hurt.

Phil put his own mug down on the counter, dragging his hands down his face in exasperation. This wasn’t the conversation — well, fight, at this rate — that he’d come over here to have this morning. Phil hadn’t been wanting to argue, he’d just wanted to understand.

“I’m just trying to talk to you, Dan,” Phil pleaded, his voice coming out whiny and needy “I just want to know what the hell happened last night.”

“Right,” Dan laughed bitterly. “You want to know all about the part where I almost outed you, but you don’t seem at all concerned about the part where I actually came out.”

“That was your choice!” Phil insisted, voice raised.

“No it wasn’t!” Dan bellowed back.

Phil froze, his eyes snapping up to meet Dan’s again. Dan had pushed off the counter, and crossed almost half of the kitchen. He was standing rigid, his body leaning forward, his hands in tight fists by his sides. Dan’s eyes were blown wide — he looked shocked by his own words.

Phil certainly was.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Phil asked slowly, warily. Something happened last night — something big — that much was clear. What wasn’t clear, though, was why Dan hadn’t called Phil last night.

They could have talked about it. Phil could have helped.

“It means — it means —” Dan stuttered, before abruptly giving up. The tension melted out of Dan’s shoulders as he crumpled in on himself, retreating back to lean against his countertop. “It doesn’t mean anything. Can we just move on?”

“No we can’t bloody move on,” Phil huffed, his frustration growing. He’d passed impatient, passed needing answers; now, he was downright desperate. “Can you just tell me what the fuck you mean, already? What happened last night?”

Phil stared at Dan with pleading eyes, silently begging him to explain what he’d meant. For a moment, Dan just stared back at Phil. A loud silence overtook the room, neither of them saying anything else.

Finally, the tense silence was interrupted by a sharp sigh from Dan. Dan’s gaze fell from Phil’s, turning down to his own feet. An agitated hand ran through Dan’s hair, tugging on his curls.

A brief wave of relief shot through Phil, certain that he was about to get an explanation for Dan’s weird behavior. Phil pushed away from the counter, debating whether he should go to Dan, maybe tip his head up and kiss his forehead. Something small to make Dan feel more comfortable talking.

But then, Dan was crossing the kitchen in three big strides, coming to a halt right in front of Phil. Bewildered, Phil searched Dan’s face, trying to figure out what the hell Dan was doing. Dan’s eyes were wild, frantic, a panicked gleam shimmering in them. His cheeks were flushed red, his mouth drawn in a tight line. He was so, so close, so afraid.

And then he was gone.

Phil blinked rapidly, confused and unsure where Dan had disappeared to. One second he was there, and then poof he was gone.

Unsure, that was, until a sudden waft of cool air washed over his upper thighs.

Phil’s attention snapped down, finding Dan again. Dan’s hands were on Phil’s joggers — joggers that he’d managed to tug down to Phil’s knees before Phil had even realized where Dan had gone. He was still tugging, trying to wrestle them over Phil’s knees now.

“Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan,” Phil gasped, his voice coming out rushed and urgent. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Dan didn’t look up at Phil. Instead, his hands abandoned Phil’s joggers, leaving them wrapped around Phil’s bony knees, and latched onto Phil’s boxers. His hands pulled insistently, frantically — too frantic to be particularly effective, mercifully.

“Dan!” Phil implored. The shock of the situation finally wore off, and Phil finally launched into motion, his hands flying out to catch Dan’s and prying them away from his hips. His boxers were awkwardly a bit low now, but Phil didn’t risk letting go of Dan’s hands — Phil was worried that Dan would just reach back to pull them all the way over his arse. “Look at me!” Phil ordered forcefully.

Slowly, painfully, Dan’s eyes drifted up and came to rest somewhere around Phil’s neck.

Phil took a deep breath, calming himself down, before he hooked his fingers under Dan’s chin and coaxed his head the rest of the way up. “Dan, sweetheart, what are you doing?” Phil asked, careful to keep a gentle tone to his voice now that he had Dan’s attention.

“Making the fight go away,” Dan responded. His voice was small — so, so small — and he still wasn’t quite meeting Phil’s gaze.

Phil stared blankly, his eyes trailing over Dan’s scared face, as he tried to figure out what was happening.

Suddenly, Phil was assaulted with the image of Dan covered in hickeys and scratches, embarrassed and ashamed as he admitted to Phil that they were from angry sex — angry sex that came from a fight.

Phil’s jaw dropped.

It didn’t shock Phil to know that Dan and Isabella dealt with their problems through sex, but he was a bit astonished to find the effects so lasting, to realize that Dan still seemed to think that angry sex was the proper solution to an argument, even with Phil.

Phil shook his head forcefully — both in attempt to tell Dan no, and also to shake himself out of his head and into action.

“Babe,” Phil whispered. Looking down at Dan’s vulnerable, submissive stance, Phil felt his heart breaking. Desperate to make them feel like equals again, Phil sunk down to his knees, too. He let go of Dan’s wrists, reaching up to brush back his unruly curls from his face. “Blowing me isn’t going to make the fight go away,” he whispered softly..

“Oh,” Dan muttered, voice small. His eyes trailed down between them. Phil couldn’t see his expression, but his body language spoke volumes. “It’s well and truly fucked then, huh?”

Dan sounded so scared, so distraught, that Phil wasn’t sure what to say for a moment. Dan sounded like he genuinely believed that it — they — must be fucked if a blowjob wasn’t going to fix their fight.

Phil’s shock turned to horror when he saw tears leak down Dan’s face.

“Oh, baby. No, no,” Phil cooed. His hands flew from Dan’s hair to cup his cheeks, his thumbs swiping under Dan’s eyes and smearing the tears away. “No, nothing’s fucked baby.”

Slowly, Dan tilted his head up to look at Phil. “It’s — it’s not?” he hiccupped, his voice coming out higher and more crackly than normal.

“Of course not,” Phil promised, rushed and confident. His eyes were wide in horror at the very idea of them, this, their relationship, being over so soon. His brows were furrowed in confusion at the idea of Dan being concerned that this was over — that they were over. “But the way to make the fight go away is to tell me what’s going on, tell me what you’re thinking.”

Dan sniffled loudly, his eyes fluttering closed again. He was quiet for a moment, with the exception of a few residual hiccups, but then he nodded slowly, his eyes still closed.

“Yeah? You’ll talk to me this time?” Phil asked hopefully.

Dan nodded again.

“Without getting defensive?” Phil prompted, half teasing, half trying to encourage Dan to act more rationally this time.

“Yeah,” Dan agreed meekly. He fell forward, Phil’s arms wrapping around and catching him on instinct. The second Phil’s arms were around Dan, Dan burrowed into him, melting against his chest. Dan’s hands were smushed between them, crooked at an awkward angle, but Phil didn’t mind.

Silence settled between them as Dan calmed down. Slowly, gently, Phil started tracing his fingers up and down Dan’s spine, his fingers catching on the studs of Dan’s sweater.

After a moment, Dan mumbled, “Can we sit down?”

Phil pulled back and pressed a lingering kiss to Dan’s forehead. “Lead the way, sweetheart.”

Dan minutely leaned into Phil’s lips, pushing his head into the kiss for a moment before pulling back. He pushed up to his feet, and immediately offered Phil a hand up. Dan’s gaze trailed over Phil as he climbed off the floor; Phil felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment as he remembered the state of his clothing.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Dan muttered, his eyes meaningfully flicking down to Phil’s half drawn joggers.

“It’s okay,” Phil murmured back softly as he stood up with Dan’s help. Phil’s spare hand flew to his joggers, pulling them back up his hips as he stood. He tried his best to swallow down his embarrassment, to make his cheeks go back to a pale white; he didn’t want to call any more attention to Dan’s rash advances than necessary. Not right now.

For the first time that morning, Phil was thankful that he’d only been able to find the tight joggers that morning — anything looser would likely have slipped straight down Phil’s thin legs and likely made the whole situation more awkward.

Dan dropped Phil’s hand to turn and collect their coffees from their respective countertops while Phil fixed his pants and joggers,. “Come on,” Dan muttered, cocking his head out of the room.

Phil obediently followed Dan out the kitchen and towards the lounge, nearly smashing into him when Dan came to a sudden halt in the middle of the hallway.

“What?” Phil asked, alarmed.

Dan spun around to face Phil. “I don’t wanna be in the lounge.” His words came out rushed, his voice high. “It’s a mess.”

“I don’t mind,” Phil assured him, “But we can go wherever you want.” Phil stepped backwards, moving closer to the wall so that Dan could navigate around him and lead them somewhere else.

“I need something from in there, though,” Dan insisted; his words were vague, but his tone was determined. He thrusted their coffees at Phil without much more of an explanation. Phil grabbed the coffees in silent shock, his fingers barely wrapping around the mugs and steadying them before Dan let go.

“I’ll meet you in the bed,” Dan said with a note of finality.

Dan only made it a few paces down the hallway before he stopped and spun back around to face Phil. “If that’s okay, I mean,” he said quickly, his voice high and rushed. “It’ll be more comfortable than the music room and I swear I won’t, like, try anything again. Like, I promise I’ll talk, I’m just really tired and I —”

“Dan,” Phil interrupted gently. “The bed’s fine. Get whatever you need. I’ll be there waiting for you.”

[tried-to-write]

We Got Married (but maybe I don’t wanna be)

Pairing: MoonSun

Summary: She did it for the publicity, it was a pretty well known show after all.

or

Yongsun, Byulyi, and Eric through WGM.

Chapter: 2/3 - Moon Byulyi

Links to alternate websites if you don’t like reading on tumblr: AO3 AFF

Yongsun was going to get married to a man, a stranger.

Byulyi had never felt that life was unfair more than she did at that moment.

Sure, it wasn't a real marriage. But it still hurt, the reminder that she would never be the one to stand on the other end of the aisle from the one she loved, her best friend, just for being who she was.

Byulyi felt like she was being torn apart internally, but she also couldn't deny that it was good publicity and decided that she would support Yongsun who had chosen to do it. So she put on the largest grin that she could muster and cheered on her unnie.

The initial few days after Yongsun officially accepted the offer were the hardest. Byulyi couldn't help feeling betrayed, even if she kept telling herself that it was all for business. So, Byulyi withdrew herself from her unnie, not wanting to accidentally hurt her in any way, attaching herself more to the two younger ones instead.

The ever observant maknaes noticed, of course, how dismissive Byulyi was towards their leader. They confronted her one day, after Yongsun had left on her own for a meeting with the managers. They noted her strange behaviour, wondered if their unnies had yet another fight.

Not for the first time, Byulyi considered revealing her (not so) little crush to the two girls. She trusted these girls with her life, had spent a good portion of it with them. In the end, she held back and told them a heavily downplayed version of her story, hiding her romantic feelings behind a veil of platonic friendship.

She hated herself for being such a coward, hated lying to two of her best friends. But, she wasn't even out to them yet, let alone willing to potentially ruin their whole group dynamic. Despite their continuous shows of support for the LGBT community, Byulyi told herself that it wasn't the right time.

The two girls listened and comforted her with sympathetic hugs. They reminded her of the upcoming comeback and encouraged her to make up with Yongsun soon.

She took their concerns and words of advice to heart and the following day, Byulyi greeted her unnie with a hug.

What she had not expected was for Yongsun to pull her in closer and whisper in her ear how much she'd missed her. Byulyi was left sputtering in response, face blazing as the leader giggled amusedly.

This weird behaviour continued on for the rest of the week. Yongsun would suddenly grab her hand or wrap her in a hug. Byulyi was sure that there was something wrong with Yongsun. She couldn't say that she hated it though.

---

Byulyi had to hide her disdain watching the fake couple when she appeared on the show several times to react. She watched as they did things that Yongsun had only done with her before, or things they hadn't, things they planned to do together... And when did they get so casual with hugging and holding hands?

Byulyi had to constantly remind herself that the relationship she was seeing on screen wasn't real. Still, her chest grew tight as she saw the couple get closer.

Byulyi did think that Yongsun looked uncomfortable with all the displays of affection. But then again, how would she know when she'd never seen Yongsun like anyone romantically before?

(Didn't know that she had seen it before, every time they looked into each other’s eyes)

Byulyi answered every question the panel had on Yongsun proudly, not able to hold herself back from showing off how well she knew her unnie. She wanted so much to proclaim how much better she would be with Yongsun instead of that Eric Nam, but knew it was a dumb idea. Instead, she sat there quietly, only laughing and commenting at the appropriate times.

No matter how much Byulyi didn't like it, she could still see that Eric was a good guy. He was treating Yongsun well and all Byulyi wanted to see was her Yongkong being happy, even if it meant supporting the Ddongie couple.

(Even the virtual couple's greeting sounded so much like theirs and Byulyi couldn't help feeling a little possessive)

(“Yongdong Yoondong” would never beat “Yongkong Byulkong” and no she was not jealous) So Byulyi held back on her disdain for the situation and put on a smile as she helped her leader get ready for her dates. She tried not to feel hurt when Yongsun sent her practice videos for her wedding, instead turning it into gratitude that she trusted Byulyi enough for advice. She lied about how cute she found the couple when it was really just Yongsun she focused on each episode. She tried her best to cherish the time they spent together preparing lunch boxes, even if they were for another man.

Through all this, Byulyi hid her resentful feelings, channeling them into song lyrics instead, writing about how worthless she felt.

---

Even when you’re here, it hurts I miss you but what can I do? I don’t want to make it obvious

Afraid you’ll find me pitiful, yeah

I’m so worthless, worthless, yeah

---

Whenever Eric was brought up yet again in press conferences or interviews, Byulyi worked hard to steel her jaw and keep her mouth shut as her leader laughed abashedly. Was their relationship really that interesting? Last time she checked, they were promoting for Mamamoo, not We Got Married.

Byulyi knew she was being petty and unreasonable but she couldn't help her exasperation.

These feelings turned out to be more serious than she had thought and she couldn't help the words that burst from her lips in yet another fight with her unnie.

The fight had started small, arguing over dumb things was a standard in their relationship. But all the pent up frustration and insecurities over Yongsun's relationship with Eric Nam that Byulyi had built up inside of her found it the perfect time to make themselves known. She lashed out at the leader, shouting things she didn't mean and accusing her of things she didn't believe.

And Yongsun shouted back, Byulyi knew she would. The leader would never let herself be accused with false allegations. Then Byulyi was suddenly out the door and finally freeing the tears that had built up behind her eyeballs, the guilt from fighting with her best friend eating at her from the inside. She wanted so badly to just go back in and apologise to the woman, accepting whatever scoldings might await her. But Byulyi was too worked up and heartbroken and maybe a little messed up because she actually didn't want to be on good terms with her unnie at the moment, didn't want to keep pretending that she was okay, and so she left it there and walked off.

An hour later, the door in front of her opened to reveal Wheein who looked questioningly at her as she quietly stepped into the house, eyes rimmed with red and a pack of beer in her hands.

Another hour later, empty beer cans were scattered across the floor among the two women sitting cross-legged.

“Wheein-ie...” Byulyi whined, dragging out her name.

“What do I do...? She definitely hates me now. You should've seen her face, she was so angry. But also hot. So hot . How can anyone look that hot when they're angry? Seriously... I slammed the door on that pretty face! Slammed! On her face! Now I'm angry at myself. Oh man, what if she doesn't want to talk to me anymore after this? Or worse, what if she doesn’t want to see me again? That would be hell...” Byulyi drunkenly rambled, leaning her forehead on Wheein's shoulder

“Wheein-ah, I can't live a life without Yongsun..!” Byulyi wailed in anguish, turning her head to cry into Wheein's neck.

Wheein sighed, bringing a hand up to sympathetically pat the older woman's head. “Get your shit together, Byulie-unnie. You know that she could never hate you, right?”

“You're right, she's too nice for that… And I still hurt that precious sunshine with my stupid words! Wheein, I'm such a terrible person!” Byulyi bawled.

Byulyi suddenly grabbed onto Wheein’s hand, flattening it against her chest. “Do you feel that? There’s nothing, is there? That’s because I’m heartless!”

She promptly let go of Wheein’s hand and burst into tears.

Wheein lifted an eyebrow at the silly display in front of her. After just a brief explanation of what happened, and then close to an hour of overdramatic blabbering about the same thing, her patience was starting to wear thin.

“I think you should just tell her.”

“Tell her what?”

“That you like her.”

Byulyi blanched. It was almost comical how wide her eyes grew and Wheein had to stifle a laugh.

“How- how did you know? Oh my god, Wheein-ah, are you psychic?”

“Um, unnie, it's pretty obvious.” Considering all the flirting, touching, and longing stares. “Hyejin and I have been suspecting it for a long time.”

“But I thought I was hiding it pretty well… I never even told you I was gay. Holy crap, do you think Yongsun can tell too then?” Byulyi started to hyperventilate. “She definitely, definitely hates me now.”

“Unnie, do you seriously think she would judge you for that? Anyway, Hyejin and I are pretty sure she's bisexual.”

“Do you mean that or are you just saying that because I happen to like her?”

“Unnie.”

“Alright, alright, sorry. But this is really bringing my hopes up and my heart is beating unhealthily fast right now.”

Byulyi knocked back a shot of soju and moved to refill her glass, only to realise that the soju bottle was suddenly in Wheein's hands. "You've drunk enough today. It's time to stop," Wheein said as she screwed the bottle cap back on and placed the bottle down an arm's length away. It was just out of reach of the inebriated woman who had too hazy a mind to think to just move to take it. Instead, Byulyi grumbled incoherently before draping herself across Wheein's lap, folding her arms and pouting. Wheein chuckled and gently pushed the woman off onto the floor, standing up and bringing the bottle with her to the kitchen. "No..! Wheein-ie don't leave me..." Byulyi whined. "You can survive the 10 seconds I'm away from you, and I'm like a metre away," Wheein called out, voice muffled by the concrete wall between them. A few seconds later, Wheein emerged carrying a glass of water in each hand. She placed one down in front of Byulyi who was still frowning at being abandoned.

“Come on, unnie. Drink some water.”

“No.”

Wheein sighed. “You'll feel better in the morning.”

“No.”

“Alright, well, I'm going to go sleep now. It's pretty late and we still have practice tomorrow.”

“Okay, and I'll sleep here, in the living room, away from you.”

Wheein had to hold back from slapping herself in disbelief. “Right. I'll wake you up in the morning.”

Before closing the door to her room, Wheein turned back and said, “By the way, I'm sure everything will be fine in the end, especially since it's you two. So don't worry too much about it, ‘kay?”

She gave a dimpled smile and shut the door.

Byulyi stuck her tongue out at the closed door and moved to the couch to finally sleep.

(She was tremendously grateful to Wheein the next morning)

---

It took less than a week of half-hearted perseverance before Byulyi relented, as she usually did whenever Yongsun was involved. She didn’t know how much she had missed the other woman’s embrace until she was finally in Yongsun’s arms again.

---

When Mamamoo was invited to guest star in an episode, Byulyi didn’t miss the worried glances cast at her by Wheein. She mustered a weak grin and a thumbs up that didn’t seem to convince anyone by the look on Wheein's face. But it was still a job, and it still had to be done to the best of their ability.

They got ahold of the Ddongie couple's schedule and planned their surprise visit behind their clueless leader's back. They thought of ways to get the couple closer and came up with games, already scheming their winning strategies. They loved to see their unnie put in uncomfortable situations.

She didn't expect how much harder it would be in real life. Watching them get along in person hit her hard in the chest

Byulyi volunteered to be the game referee, unsure if she would actually let herself beat the couple if she were a part of the games. Her mind went blank when she saw Eric place his lips on Yongsun's cheek. Reminding herself that there were cameras filming, she forced herself to smile and cheer for the couple.

She thought she could win an award for her acting.

It felt almost difficult to leave the place, knowing that she would be leaving Yongsun to sleep together with another man. Sure, there was cameras everywhere so there was almost no chance of anything happening and she had nothing to worry about. But Byulyi still felt uneasy, missed the nights she spent huddled under the covers beside the older woman. Their schedules had been packed and while they saw each other almost every day, there was less time for simply hanging out, just the two of them.

It must have hurt her more than she'd thought it did because she started tearing up soon after they returned to the RBW building. She didn't even realise it at first, not until cries of “Byulie unnie! Are you okay?” reached her ears and brought her back to reality. She noticed first the worried looks of the people around her, then the ever familiar feeling of tears trickling down her cheeks.

Their manager was at a loss on how to react and, after making sure she was not needed, left to give her some time alone with her teammates who were much better at calming her down.

Tears kept spilling uncontrollably from her eyes no matter how much she tried to hold them back which was frustrating her to no end and only served to produce more tears. Her teammates embraced her as she sat on the floor and wept and she clung onto them like they were her lifeline. They stayed in that position till her cries reduced to just the occasional sob.

Byulyi was embarrassed by her breakdown. She didn't like crying in front of others, felt that it made her seem weak, vulnerable. But she knew her members loved her and would never judge her for it. She had restrained herself from showing anyone how upset she was at the situation, tucking away her feelings because she knew they would just be a burden. It was kind of relieving to finally let it all out.

“Unnie, are you feeling better?”

“Yeah I- ” Byulyi paused to sniffle. “I think so.”

“I'm so sorry, I didn't think that you were that affected by them,” Hyejin said, arms going around Byulyi again in another hug.

“It's fine, I didn't think so either.”

“Still, I should have known…”

“You couldn't have known, it's not your fault. If anything, it's mine,” Byulyi let out a hollow laugh. “I thought that if I saw them together, saw how happy he made her... Then maybe I could get over my feelings.”

A wry smile briefly appeared on her face before she continued, “But it didn't work. And now I'm disappointed in myself for being so selfish that I couldn't just be happy for her.”

There was a moment of silence in the room before Hyejin raised an eyebrow. She lifted a hand to knock Byulyi on the head. “Unnie, that's gotta be the most stupid idea I have ever heard from you, and I've heard a lot!”

Byulyi frowned at her junior and rubbed the stinging spot on her head. “Hyejin, that's not helping,” she grumbled.

“She's right though, unnie. And it's just as dumb that you think that you're selfish for not wanting to see the person you like being romantic with someone else,” Wheein chipped in.

Byulyi blinked at her two friends before finally sighing.

“Alright, alright,” Byulyi raised both her arms in surrender. “I got it. I don't need you two to gang up on me.”

The two childhood friends glanced at each other with serious expressions before swiftly high fiving.

Byulyi lifted the corner of her mouth in a half smile, hands lowering as the overwhelming feeling of gratefulness hit her.

“Thank you for this.”

“You know we'll always be here for you, unnie.”

There was a moment of tenderness as the girls shared another hug and soft smiles were exchanged…

“But I'm kinda hurt that you told Wheein but not me, though.”

The three girls burst into laughter.

---

The manager gave them the rest of the day off, told them that they did a good job with filming earlier. It was days like these that Byulyi felt truly appreciative of all the supportive people in her life.

After a restless night, Byulyi gave up on sleeping and went to practice early. Dancing had always been a way for her to clear her head and she let herself be immersed in the flow of movements, her body moving to the rhythm of the music.

The sound of the door opening was drowned out by the music but the reflection of a familiar face in the peripheral of Byulyi’s vision caught her eye and she halted in her movements. Byulyi hadn’t really been prepared to face her leader so soon and thought that Yongsun would even be late that day considering how filming had gone on overnight. Mentally bracing herself for the imminent conversation, she moved to turn off the music.

“Byul-ah, what are you doing here so early?”

Byulyi’s heart rate sped up and she wasn’t sure she could blame it entirely on her dance routine.

“I could ask you the same, Yongsun-unnie,” Byulyi said, reflexively averting her eyes as she deftly avoided the question. She wasn’t really in the mood to talk to the woman who she had been trying to forget when she came in earlier, but said woman obviously had other plans. Byulyi focused her eyes on the wall beside her instead, unable to meet the other woman’s eyes, and so missed the flash of annoyance on Yongsun’s face.

“Filming just ended so I came here early. Now it's your turn to answer the question.”

Byulyi didn’t really want to but could hear the tone of irritation in Yongsun’s voice and reconsidered.

“... I couldn't sleep,” she yielded after a moment.

“Byulie, look at me. What's wrong?”

Byulyi felt a pang in her heart at the gentle tone and finally looked up into her leader’s eyes. It turned out to be a mistake as her guilt just worsened upon seeing those concern-filled eyes directed right at her. Those eyes had always been a weakness of hers. Byulyi could feel herself about to burst and let out a deep breath, resigning to her fate as she forced the words out of her mouth.

“I was jealous,” she blurted out. “Of Eric.”

“I just- I'm the one who's always been with you, but now he's the one who's exploring new places with you and doing new things with you when- when-” Byulyi scrambled for the next words to say.

Her heart pumped fast and hard in her chest as she held the words she knew she wanted to say at the tip of her tongue. Her brain told her that those words could ruin their friendship forever. However, the previous night's talk came to the forefront of her mind and lingered.

Byulyi finally decided to just go for it and said, “When it should be me.”

Her shoulders drooped. She couldn’t bear to look at the leader’s face, afraid of what she would find.

There was a long period of silence in the room and Byulyi wanted to run away. But then Yongsun was suddenly embracing her and Byulyi clutched at the arms around her, afraid that the other woman would suddenly decide to leave. If Yongsun would accept her then...

“Byul-ah, you don't have to worry about losing me, okay? We'll always be the best of friends.”

Byulyi felt a stab in her chest.

“Right, just friends…” she whispered bitterly. Her leader was denser than she thought. Byulyi wanted to laugh at Yongsun, but decided to drop the subject and just enjoy the hug.

---

On the Ddongie couple’s last day of filming for that damned show, Byulyi couldn’t help rejoicing. She didn't feel as good about it when she saw how sad Yongsun actually was about the whole thing ending, but she still felt a little lighter. No matter how she felt about the situation, Byulyi was still grateful to Eric for providing her unnie a pleasant experience on the show.

It wasn't all over yet though, as there was one last event to be attended: the MBC Entertainment Awards Ceremony. Byulyi held it in the back of her mind as they were doing final preparations for their own event.

During a lull in activity, as they took advantage of the chance to rest their legs before having to be on their feet for a few hours, Byulyi glanced at the woman beside her in her pink-tinted dress. Said woman was typing rapidly on her phone, replying to one message or another on her SNS, not noticing or simply just used to the attention on her. She was so beautiful even with her mouth agape as she completely focused on her screen.

Byulyi took out her own phone and held it up, letting the strong urge to document the stunning woman beside her overtake her. She could never resist such urges anyway and the leader was used to it by now, usually complying with Byulyi's every need to photograph her. This time was no different.

“Unnie, look here.”

Yongsun glanced up from her phone, only to look into the screen of another. She naturally went into a pose for the camera, locking her phone screen with one hand while the other moved to lightly hold her chin, along with a gentle smile to complete the look.

Byulyi snapped several pictures, experimenting for the best angle. When she was finally satisfied, she brought her phone back to eye level, showing it first to her unnie who gave her nod of approval before returning to texting. Byulyi stared a little longer at the picture displayed on screen. Their outfits matched especially well, along with the colours and... they looked kind of like they were getting married… which reminded her of what was happening later on that night.

Perhaps out of spite (towards the man who had really done nothing wrong and towards the society that forbid two women from being together), Byulyi found herself posting the photo on their fancafe, with only the word "BEST” added on to it along with a quick caption of ‘Welcome to Byulddonie world’’ (because Yongsun was indeed her world). It didn't matter if she added the word “friend” to it, society deemed it impossible for two women to be anything more anyway, and if that's how it was then she would take advantage of the fact to be as obvious as she could.

It wasn't long before they were called out from their rest for some finishing touches before their performance. Soon, they were stepping off the stage decked out in all black. Their manager immediately pulled their leader to the side, ushering her urgently towards the exit.

Byulyi sighed as she was reminded of the other award ceremony that had already started. She had erased the upcoming event from her mind to focus on her performance. She hated that the events had such clashing schedules that Yongsun had to rush off so hastily. Almost missing the leader's absence, she hurried to catch up with the departing group, pleased that she managed to send off her unnie as she usually did.

Standing at the entrance waving her leader off, Byulyi even kept turning around as she went back in to continue waving goodbye, not disappointed by the silly faces she got from her yeba in return. She went back up to join the rest of the members in the waiting room, chatting with them for a bit before turning on the TV in the room and switching to the MBC channel.

They were all eager to watch their beloved leader appear on the screen and cheered noisily when she actually won Best Couple Award with her fake ex-husband. They all howled with laughter (as their leader had predicted correctly) when they saw her fumbling with her words on stage, a rare sight.

After a while more, they finally wrapped up and headed home. Byulyi ultimately found herself unlocking the door to her unnie's house, washing up and grabbing some clothes she knew she had left behind last time. Stretching herself out on the familiar couch, she scrolled through her phone for a bit before eventually succumbing to the exhaustion that always came after events.

---

Byulyi jolted awake upon hearing the soft beeping at the front door. The resounding click that followed signalled the arrival of her housemate.

Muted footsteps shuffled across the floor.

Yongsun-unnie must be home, Byulyi thought drowsily. Not wanting to leave the comfort of the couch, she didn't bother getting up to check.

The footsteps halted, and the house was quiet again. The silence was lulling Byulyi back to sleep. She was just about to doze off when she heard her name.

“Byul-ah… You don't even know how much I love you.” followed by a soft chuckle.

The confession was soft and Byulyi might have missed it if the room wasn’t so quiet. But it was, and she heard it clear as day.

Her mind, still half asleep, took a moment to process what she heard.

Yongsun-unnie? How much she loves me? What does she- Yongsun-unnie loves me?

Byulyi opened her eyes and looked around the dark room blearily. The space in front of her was empty. Where did she-

The sound of the shower turning on interrupted her thoughts, coincidentally answering her question.

Letting her eyelids fall back shut, Byulyi buried herself into the back of the couch. She groaned. What did Yongsun even mean by that? Was it a friend thing? But it definitely didn't seem like a friend thing. Or was Byulyi simply just overthinking things?

She was so tired. It was so difficult to think. She decided that she'll worry about it in the morning (it's a problem for future Byulyi now) and promptly fell back asleep.

---

A/N: Has it been exactly a week? I kinda rushed some of the scenes in this chapter so I could get it out by today so sorry if it's not as good as the first chapter :’)

Stick around for next chapter where they’ll finally get their shit together… or won’t they..? ;)

[sandersidess]

Antique Loving (WIP)

So this is Royality (background Analogical) that I was working on and I just never finished. I hope to finish it, but I hope you enjoy this.  So enjoy this and hope you enjoy! This is just pure fluff, that I can’t even write angst on.  Words (so far): 2,023

-

Virgil and Logan sat in Virgil’s dorm room as they looked through the pictures they took of their friends, being all sappy and antique on communicating their love.

“Oh! Roman made sure these flowers had a meaning,” Virgil chuckled and showed Logan the picture of Roman in the flower shop, “He was getting so demanding with the poor employee.”

Logan laughed and pulled out his phone, scrolling through his pictures and found one of Patton, “See this? Patton wanted to choose the perfect dress to go see Roman, and it took us hours before we even left. The dressing room was a mess.”

“Where were they going?” Virgil chuckled, looking at the picture, “That was a cute dress.”

“They were just going to get lunch off campus the next day,” Logan says, Virgil laughing and shaking his head, “Right?! He would have looked fine in just a skirt or jeans and a striped t-shirt, but he insisted on a dress!”

“They are hopeless romantics,” Virgil pointed out.

“They really are,” Logan smiles, both going through their pictures.

-

Roman walked into his dorm and threw himself on Virgil’s bed, grinning like a fool, even after startling Virgil and having his papers being sat on.

“What the hell man?!” Virgil yelled at him, shoving him off his bed, gathering his papers, “This is my homework!”

“Whatever, I need your help,” Roman waved his hand and kept grinning, “I might out romance Patton this time.”

“What do you mean?” Virgil asked, setting his papers aside and looked at Roman, “Are you two still doing that weird thing?”

“Since we both met that first day in psychology,” Roman laughs and sighs happily, “I just love him so much.”

“Yet, you two have yet to date,” Virgil rolls his eyes, “How can you love him?”

“It’s love at first sight!” Roman says excitedly, standing up and looked at Virgil, “I just know it! Besides, I know he’s the one that drops items off outside our dorm room. I just need to out romance him.”

“How will you do that?” Virgil asks, thinking this was all ridiculous, but he also found it adorable in a way.

“By doing old-school charming,” Roman says, going to his desk and grabs a notebook out, “I want to serenade to him this one Spanish song, but I’m saving that for later. But, I want to do poems, sending flowers, sending chocolates, just do old school! Letters on his door! Think about it, Virgil!”

“You really want to out romance this guy,” Virgil grins, shaking his head, “Well, I can help you with some of those things if you’d like, as long as I don’t have to interact with anyone.”

“Really? You’d do that?” Roman gasps, wanting to hug Virgil but held himself back, “You’re the most amazing friend and roommate ever!”

“Yeah, and it’d let me get some peace here,” Virgil laughs at how offended Roman looks, “Okay, how about we do flowers first? Those are really common, but to do it antique charming, we must leave it at their door with a note. Or have someone deliver it.”

“Perfect!”

-

Patton frowned at the knock on his door, looking over at Logan. Logan looked equally as confused at their room being knocked on. Patton got up and answered the door, raising an eyebrow as he saw their Resident Assistant standing there with a vase of flowers.

“Hey Patton, sorry to bother, but this came for you,” He says and chuckles, “You must have an admirer.”

“Oh wow!” Patton giggles and takes the vase, nodding at him, “Thank you, Dave. I wonder who it’s from.”

Once Dave leaves, Patton closes the door and sets the flowers down on his shelf. He smiles at the varieties of flowers, sniffing some of them.

“Who are they from?” Logan asks, getting up and walked over to Patton.

“Seems like they’re from Roman,” Patton blushes as he picks up the card between the flowers, Roman having written his name in calligraphy.

“That guy who acts like a prince and prep?” Logan chuckles and looks at the flowers, “He picked some really nice ones. Each one has a different meaning.”

“They do. He even wrote them down with a drawing next to them,” Patton whispers, reading the letter and smiled softly, “This is so old school.”

“Sometimes old school is the best,” Logan grins and goes back to his bed.

“Yeah, it is,” Patton whispers, smiling at the flowers and held the letter close.

-

Roman groaned as he threw away another piece of paper, which landed on Virgil’s side. Virgil raised an eyebrow and picked it up, throwing it at his head, which caught Roman’s attention.

“What is wrong with you?” Virgil asked, looking slightly worried.

“This outline for my research paper is all wrong! I got it approved, but I hate how the outline is coming out!” Roman groaned, slamming his head on his desk.

Virgil flinched at the noise and was about to answer, but there was a knock at the door. He frowned and got up, answering the door and saw no one. He looked around and saw a paper taped to their door, a chocolate Kiss there also. He took it off and walked over to Roman, handing him the chocolate and paper.

“I’m sure this is from Patton,” Virgil smirked, watching how Roman got up quickly excitedly and started reading the paper.

If cartoon hearts could surround a person in real life, then Roman would have many around him, all shining and beating fast. Roman stared at the letter as if it was a piece of gold and hanged it up on his wall, near his bed to read every morning.

“It is only November and you are already head over heels this guy. You really do love him,” Virgil chuckles, rolling his eyes.

“You bet I do!” Roman grinned, getting his spark back, “Now, I need to plan what present I will get him before we all go home for the break.”

“Well, you better hurry. Finals are soon and you won’t have much time,” Virgil pointed out and sighed, “I wonder how crazy you will go Valentine’s Day.”

“How dare you not know my eccentric ways?” Roman gasped, placing a hand over his heart while Virgil just laughed.

“Finish your paper, lover boy! I am not tolerating your 2-am-Redbull-infused self,” Virgil said, going back to work.

“Fine! But don’t call Logan again at 3 a.m.,” Roman sighed and sat down, “I do need my sleep and your conspiracies talk scare me. Also, when do you plan to confess?”

Roman smirked as Virgil’s pale complexion soon turned beet red in less than a second, stuttering out an excuse and just rambled. It ended with Virgil throwing his pillows at him, along with his cup.

-

Patton pouts as the weather didn’t allow him to wear skirts or shorts, being the first week of finals and it was crazy cold. He sighs and puts on his jacket and favorite boots, looking over at Logan who was finishing his packing.

“Have you decided what to get Virgil?” Patton asked, giggling as Logan blushed and stuttered, “You two are flustered gays.”

“Oh yeah? What about you and Roman?” Logan asked and smirked as it was Patton’s turn to blush.

“Not sure yet,” Patton shrugs and looks at the box on his bed, “I did get his present, and luckily our last final is at the same time! So, I’ll give him his present then. Can we go shopping later today? I need to at least look good on my last day with him.”

“You know it’ll only be a month away, right?” Logan chuckles and smiles, “But sure, I’ll take you. The outlet mall, correct?”

“Yes! Thank you, Logan!” Patton giggles and kisses his cheek, “I know I’ll win this round. There is no way he can beat me.”

“I’m sure of that Patton,” Logan rolls his eyes, having him go on his way for his first final.

After Patton left his final, which he left around 3:37 p.m., he sighed happily as he sat on the bus back to his dorm. He texted Logan quickly, who had been finished since eleven in the morning, Once he got off the bus, he saw Logan waiting nearby with his car. Patton smiled and ran over quickly, dropping his bag in the back seat and smiled at Logan.

“Ready?” Logan asked, starting his car and driving out of the unauthorized zone.

“Yeah! Let’s go before it gets full,” Patton smiled and counted his money, making sure he had the right amount, “Can we also stop by Cane’s on the way back? Oh, and we also need trash bags.”

“We’ll stop by Target then. Also, a card was left on our door. It’s for you,” Logan smirked, driving off campus and to the outlets.

Patton took it from his hand once handed to him and opened it quickly, revealing what was a drawing of him and a poem in Spanish. He did not understand a word from it, Logan would help translate it, but he was loving it as he read it:

Si nadie sabe ni por qué reímos ni por qué lloramos ; si nadie sabe ni por qué vivimos ni por qué nos vamos; si en un mar de tinieblas nos movemos, si todo es noche en derredor y arcano, ¡A lo menos, amemos! ¡Quizá no sea en vano!

Patton smiled warmly at the poem, along with the drawing of him from what seemed to be last week’s clothes. A pair of leggings, with a tan sweater and a grey scarf.

“He memorized what I wore last week,” Patton said in an awed tone, looking at Logan to what seemed to be heart eyes.

“You two are disgustingly sweet to each other,” Logan pointed out, shaking his head.

“You will be too with Virgil,” Patton giggled, “Soon, don’t worry.”

Logan was a blushing and incoherent mess from the comment, keeping his mouth shut and turning up the music. Patton sighed happily, holding it close to his chest. They soon got to the outlet mall, Patton sprinting out quickly before Logan even set the car in park. He decided to go to Agaci first, seeing as he got some of his clothes from there. However, there was none of his taste the moment he walked in and just left.

“PATTON!”

Patton turned around and blushed a bright red, not from the cold and running, but from seeing Roman walking over with his friend and roommate, Virgil.

“Oh my god,” Patton whispered to himself, hiding his face with his beanie.

“What are you doing here?” Roman asked, his voice sounding so smooth and rich to Patton.

“I um...you know…” Patton gave a nervous laugh and saw Logan running over, “I’m here with Logan! Yeah, he needed some pants and I came to help! Yeah, yeah that’s why-why I am here,” Patton swallowed thickly at the end and looked at Logan.

“Oh well, that’s nice,” Roman grinned at him, Virgil in the background taking pictures.

“Yeah…” Patton nodded and cleared his throat, “We should get going. I’ll see you on Friday for the final or not since you know-we and I-you-I’ll see you!” Patton left quickly and dragged Logan along with him.

“That was the most awkward conversation you have ever had,” Logan pointed out,  holding back a laugh.

“Oh shut it,” Patton huffed, “He caught me off guard.”

“Let’s go to Forever 21, I could use some new pants,” Logan said, laughing as Patton huffed and marched away from him, “Pat! Wait!”

-

Roman huffed as the weather was just getting colder, and it was snowing now for the first time in so many years. He thought it was pretty romantic, seeing as it was the last day of finals and he was leaving soon before it got worse. Patton was about to get out of his last final, and they agreed to meet at Patton’s dorm since it was in the middle of the campus.

Roman looked around, holding the present he was going to give to Patton.