#this also means he ends up bribing guards often when he gets caught

[elliscousland]

i think this translates into him stealing little trinkets in any verse, often. sometimes he needs them, sometimes he doesn't but it's more about following the impulse of wanting to acquire them. in bg3 if he disappears from elfsong in the middle of the night he'll come back with a satchel full of valuables. if you ask him where they came from, he'll come up with increasingly elaborate lies about them as a bit.

ellis was super into slim couldry's crime wave.

[swearingcactus]

BOLD the FACTS

RULES: BOLD what applies to your OC I was tagged by @elvenbeard tysm! here's some little v lore before i hide in the bushes again 🏃‍♀️💨 and him being so touched people want to know MORE about him

⭕❌⭕ PERSONAL ⭕❌⭕

Little V grew up dirt poor as a Heywood kid who never joined the Valentinos. But he was smart enough to get himself by (even if he cuts it close sometimes!) Technically he's pretty well off after becoming the go-to merc guy that fixers call, but old habits die hard and he often forgets he could afford the bigger treats. He was also sickly when he was a kid due to his ganic lungs being bad and Night City's air being dogshit. But then he got himself synth lungs and was fit as a fiddle all the way until Johnny happened and now he's back in square 1. I once wrote a fic about his history with his cybernetics that doubles as a little snippet of him throughout the years !

Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non-applicable Class or Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed >> was arrested multiple times and actually went to prison for a bit for some crimes he couldn't wiggle out of and had to pull in party favors and bribe the guards to hotfix the system and get himself out faster than he's supposed to serve. the minor crimes record stuck though.

⭕❌⭕ FAMILY ⭕❌⭕

His nice "everyone helped each other in the streets" story he told River was code for leeching off the soft-hearted joytoys and two-bit thieves who plays hot potato with children just like him. He was either abandoned in the hospital once he was born, or his parents were dumb teens who got themselves killed, or he was dropped off in the middle of a crowded street--the detail's kinda fuzzy and he doesn't bother to try and clear it up. His birth certificate most likely just listed some random generated name the hospital got before handing him to the nearest person willing to have him, so he never bothered to identify himself with his surname.

Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased Affiliation: orphaned / abandoned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent(s) / not applicable

⭕❌⭕ TRAITS AND TENDENCIES ⭕❌⭕

Little V loves friendly quips, sometimes borderline into being a quick-tongued smartass (especially more so if he wants to annoy someone to death). he's always eager to listen to people's experiences and expand his horizons! that said, at the end of the day if it comes down to it, he'll always put himself first. he believes it's better off that he does things alone because of that, especially to minimize the chance of hurting others in the process.

♦ extroverted / introverted / in-between ♦ disorganized / organized / in-between ♦ close-minded / open-minded / in-between ♦ calm / anxious / in-between / highly contextual >> he tends to have a hard time sitting still but is otherwise calm in demeanor. ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in-between ♦ cautious / reckless / in-between / highly contextual ♦ patient / impatient / in-between ♦ outspoken / reserved / in-between / highly contextual >> he tries to see other's POV and keeps his head down and mouth shut just to avoid prolonging time spent with people he disagree with. he won't sit still and take shit if it gets personal though. ♦ leader / follower / in-between >>he's not too happy that being the top dog means taking over the afterlife in the don't fear the reaper ending and would rather give the role back to Rogue, both because he knows she loves the place and treats it right; and because he can admit he sucks on making choices when they involve other people. ♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in-between ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in-between ♦ traditional / modern / in-between ♦ hard-working / lazy / in-between ♦ cultured / uncultured / in-between / unknown ♦ loyal / disloyal / in-between / unknown ♦ faithful / unfaithful / in-between / unknown >> i headcanon that the whole dating both kerry and panam thing is consensual from all parties in a "this is my boyfriend v, and this is v's boyfriend kerry" thing; but he knows it isn't the real exclusive experience.

⭕❌⭕ BELIEFS ⭕❌⭕

I actually wrote a fic about his 'faith' so yes this works as ANOTHER fic plug. tl;dr-- he believes there's a higher power, somewhat, but just chalks it up to Death incarnate... and death's pretty fucking final. He also thinks ghost/spirits only exist in a manner of living on as memories/legacies. He loves aliens and thinks werewolves are totally real though, just to balance it out. Also used to like T-Bug's fun shakespeare-esque philosophies, makes for good convo starters.

Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious Philosophical: yes / no / highly contextual

⭕❌⭕ SEXUALITY AND ROMANCE ⭕❌⭕

little v's relationship with sex is pretty grim. He used to think he'll have more time to find actual love and something more than quick fucks when he's made it to the big leagues... but then the whole relic business started and now he can't waste time to fuck much less to properly find love. still, if presented with the chance, he's never going to say no. AND he likes to think he managed a little slice of real romance here and there, with his big feelings with Panam and his mutual crush with Kerry... even if both won't last and he eventually broke it off. his actual one true love is Night City, which really, nobody can compete with :/

Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual Sex: sex-repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naive and clueless / romance suspicious Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

⭕❌⭕ ABILITIES ⭕❌⭕

he quickly learned that his smaller stature gets him in tight places and if he could hack cameras and klep things without alerting any system in said places, people would pay him, and pay him well. sometimes his MO doesn't work out in his favor and he has to fight his way out; which sucks since he's HORRIBLE at aiming with a gun and would have to resort to close-ranged stabs with a knife or his mantis blades... but more often than not his stealth and quickhacks saves the day. he can read but he's not a reader. and he has no idea what could be considered art, much to Johnny's chagrin.

Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor/ none Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none Artistic Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

⭕❌⭕ HABITS ⭕❌⭕

it's not that he doesn't like drinking or partying, it's just that he thinks you should do a job sober, and you never know when the next job's gonna pop out. getting a snack doesn't count though. actually it should be encouraged. he needs the energy and all, right? and besides, quickhacks make him hungry! two fishball sticks please.

Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / rarely / sometimes / frequently / alcoholic / former borderline alcoholic turned sober >> he'll always order a drink at a bar, but he likes the taste of ice cold NiCola after a hard day at work more than he does a beer, sue him. Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / chain-smoker >> only smokes for Johnny. he had a bad experience with his ganic lungs to ever condone smoking Recreational Drugs: tried some / never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess >> uses stims and other combat drugs if shit hits the fan; and is generous with his use of Bounce Back and MaxDoc instead of visiting the nearest ripper. he tries not to think about the possibility he might be too reliant on them Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / rarely / sometimes / frequently / binge eater >> street food enthusiast ganggg Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic >> he hustles to buy the pricy things he want/needs and then it's "why do I need more stuff, I like the things I have now." Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gamble

PHEW that was a long one. thank you for reading about him if you managed to get all the way here! no pressure tagging @bunwithantlers @killyourrdarlingss @glitchinginthegarden @mail-me-a-snail and anyone who'd like to!

[solomonish]

All Dateables [plus Luke] + Most to Least Likely to Take Cutesy Snapchat Selfies With You

i know not a lot of people really /use/ snapchat anymore but for me those filters save my LIFE. i particularly like the heart freckle ones uwu

no headers bc short

Asmodeus

He LIVES for taking cute photos with you. When he’s out with you, he’ll often ask you to take stunning pictures of him for his Devilgram, so it’s only fair that he does the same! And if you want a few extra pictures with him in it (and really, who wouldn’t?), he doesn’t mind! Just make sure to send them to him because he WILL bug you about it until he gets them.

(he does save some of the cuter ones - ones where one of you is caught off guard, or where you’re making a funny face taking photos while he decides which of his angles he wants to use, ones that come out blurry because you’re laughing - those ones he keeps for himself, but he’ll never tell.)

Diavolo

doesn’t know much about what snapchat is but is IN LOVE with all the filters. he loves the dog filters to death and he will force you to change the angle until it makes HIM the Dalmatian. when you mention that the filters swap every few days, he starts asking if there are any new ones to try. he will take as many photos as you want until Barbatos or Lucifer drag one of you away from the other. (The amount of times they’ve walked in on you practically in his lap and his head on your should while he keeps sticking his tongue out has gotten too high to count).

Mammon

mammon lives for the cute photos that you take with him, though he has a hard time bringing it up to you at first. he always hopes you’ll ask him so he can respond with something cool like “of course you’d want a picture with the great mammon!” or “photos come with a fee” but he always ends up staring at you awkwardly as you fidget with your phone until you bring it up. once he’s comfortable though, he’ll just stoop down when he sees you taking picture and smile with you or sit near you and hold his phone out until you get the memo. he has a folder full of those pictures with the filters and has one as his home screen - it’d make him the happiest demon in the world if you had one as yours, too

Simeon

the only difference between him and the above is that he doesn’t ask to take photos. he’s a much more “live in the moment” person, but if you hold out your phone and scoot closer to him he’s already giving you a soft smile. if he’s trying to make the moves on you, he’ll casually put an arm around your shoulders or waist like it’s not big deal, then poke your red cheeks and say that he was only trying to make sure he was in the picture.

Luke

he wants to take pictures with you, but he’s also got that little kid gene in him where if you have to take a long time adjusting your hair or finding your angle or something he gets frustrated real quick. if you try to use the dog filter on him he won’t talk to you for the rest of the day.

Satan + Solomon

They don’t mind having photos taken of them, but they aren’t going to smile for you. They’ll even have the AUDACITY to raise an eyebrow if you’re using a filter that makes your eyes super big and gets rid of your nose. You can bribe them for a few good or cheesy photos, but is it worth offering to drink one of Solomon’s suspicious potions or having your arms fall off offering to carry Satan’s books after a library trip?

Beelzebub

Is also indifferent to having his picture taken, but he’s almost always eating and he doesn’t like to be interrupted for long enough to get the filter to register his face. If you pout and you didn’t catch him while he was STARVING, he might pause, but you won’t get anything grand. Sometimes he doesn’t even smile, and sometimes he resumes eating too quickly. He doesn’t mean to though!

Belphegor

You can get as many pictures as you want if it can register his face while he’s asleep, but he doesn’t get why you want fake, sparkly cat ears on him or to see what he looks like with a beard. Sometimes he sees you taking a picture and buries his face in your neck just to be a jerk. Luckily those pictures are cute or you’d be elbowing him.

Barbatos

Good luck getting him to stop for long enough to get a photo. Barbatos doesn’t really care if you have a photo of him with a dog filter on your phone, but it’d be improper to take such a photo on the job (and he is always on the job). You both know Diavolo wouldn’t mind, but Barbatos is a man of principle. You might only be able to get one or two at a banquet or something, and even then you’d have to ask him when Diavolo is near so he can be pressured into taking it.

Lucifer

MC, why can’t you just take a normal photo? Why must he pose with this leopard print mask on his face? If you ask him while he’s doing something (most of the time), he’ll just straight up tell you no. If you catch him in a free moment, he might humor you for a few pictures and might even tell you they’re cute, but these moments are rare. You’d have better luck taking normal photos.

Leviathan

Are you kidding? He doesn’t want you to take pictures of him at all, let alone with that stupid normie dog filter! You might be able to convince him with that filter that turns you into an anime filter, but even then, you just pointing the phone at him gets him nervous.

[animeyanderelover]

Hey! Finally caught the box while it was open! Could I plz have headcannons for lau being yandere for Vincent Phantomhives eldest daughter and ciels oldest sister? The only problem is she’s already betrothed with edward as her fiancé and she loves him. As you can tell this takes place before ciels parents died and before he made his deal. Thank you!

I get to write something about Lau again! Hope this is fine.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, obsessiveness, stalking, manipulation, sabotage, bribing, blackmailing

Phantomhives eldest daughter

🚢Lau became friends with Ciel around 1887 if I recall that right, to be specific a penfriend of his and that's how he would probably meet his darling for the first time. He as a talent for popping up unannounced every once in a while, including in the Phantomhive manor. Lau in general is mainly interested in Ciel since that guy helps him and his business and since Lau is mercenary, he listens to him a lot.

🚢But he finds himself still curious about Ciel's older sister, the only person who Ciel still seems to be truly attached too and it is not often to see him being that respectful and open as when around her which fascinates the chinese man a lot, knowing how Ciel usually is. Of course he knows from the very beginning that she is already betrothed to Edward which makes sense since her little brother is engaged with Elizabeth Midford. Though with you it is easier to tell that you're happy with the decision of your father, when with your fiancé always looking happy whilst your litte brother struggles a bit with Lizzy, but you definitely try to bring both of them closer.

🚢Whilst you might not be directly the guard dog, it is mostly not like you just sit around and play the obedient and brave housewife which Lau admires on you. You have the brains as well, help Ciel in his cases and just like your husband and brother, you also possess the art of swordplay, Edward probably teaching you a bit. So you might be a mix of your mother and father, you can be shy and very gentle when around people you trust, but are also smart and manipulative, charming your way into people's heart if it is for the tasks, a business woman through and through. This is what iterests Lau so much and since he is assossciated with Ciel and a part of Aristocrats of Evil, just like his darling is.

🚢So whilst you are very nice and friendly, you are also not easy to fool, seeing behind that eternal smile of his and knowing why he is so interested in Ciel, ready to work for the person who entertains him and helps him getting profit and also being aware of his propensity for violence and the excessive amount he is ready to use it which might be tasteless in your opinion.

🚢Lau in general is pretty hard to read and predict which might make you more warily around him, something he definitely notices and whilst he is a bit amused to see you being overly suspicious, liking to mess with you a bit, he also wants you to trust him which is why he tries to be closer to you and befriending you. He is good in fooling people and with his more goofy personality it might be hard to tell where exactly he crosses the platonic line to a romantic one. He is not really shocked nor disappointed or embarrassed when realizing his feelings, he has strong nerves and will just take it the way it is. He can't do anything about his feelings anyways, so why bother?

🚢But no matter from where you look it, Lau mostly only acts in what he thinks will be for his personal best iterest which is why he decides to break the whole engagement somehow off, though knowing he has to be careful since his darling's little brother, someone he is allied with, has a tight connection witht he Midford's and would want to avoid raising tension between his and their family. He knows it won't be easy, you're smart and you and Edward love each other, but there is always a crack, even in the most happiest lve stories. And all he has to do is find that little flaw and stir it up until everything falls apart. Lau has patience and doesn't waver, not acting bothered when seeing you and your fiancé being all lovely together, he keeps that smile because he has indeed a will made out of steel. He knows that eventually his time will come.

🚢Killing Edward would of course also be an option and afterwards he could use the chance to court you and be your shoulder to cry on, but that idea bears a lot of risks because his death would cause a commotion with everyone being dead set on finding the murderer and he would be finished when he is exposed, all his money and his business would be shattered mercilessly and he might risk getting killed himself. There are too many unknown factors and the fast road is not always the best, the longer one works in most of the cases better which is why he chooses to wait for longer and plan everything better.

🚢He has to become a close person of yours at first, fightng his way slowly into your heart. It doesn't have to be love for now, a friend should be fine, preferably a really good one as well since Lau likes spending time with you, you're funny to be with and he sincerely enjoys your company a lot. Additionally he often brings you presents, hair ornaments with expensive patterns, ointments for skin and alos many clothes, somewhat spoiling you. This is a sign that he likes you and is probably the reason why you refuse, not wanting to awaken in Edward the wrong impression by accepting presents of another way, but Lau insists, guaranteeing it's merely a sign of his respect for you as a good friend and daughter of the Phantomhive's. He has his ways with words which is why he somehow manages to convince you to reluctantly accept them.

🚢Ciel might be more protective despite you being the older one and also being protective of him. But Ciel kind of does not know what to feel when seeing Lau growing so close to you, not being able to tell if he truly likes you or just wants to test him a bit which is why he as well is a bit more warily with him when around you. He just can't tell what Lau is really up to and whilst that guy follows his demands and works together with him, that doesn't mean that he has to trust that guy around you. Kind of tries to seperate you two, with both of you noticing what he is up to.

🚢 And it is not like Lau doesn't keep an eye on you even when he isn't physically present, he has Ran Mao stalking you a bit, though she has to be careful with Sebastian being around and additionally she also spies on the Midford's in an attempt to find something out which he might be able to use against them and the engagement. It is not like Lau doubts Edward will treat the s/o good, it's just that the only person he would be truly able to share with without having to work on plans to eliminate the other person is Ran Mao herself since he sees her as his sister and has faith in her, though he is ready to share when the stakes are against him. But as long as he knows there is a chance, he grabs it, just like he always does.

🚢In the end it comes all honestly down to whether or not his darling knew about "Ciel" and Ciel because that will ultimately decide how good of a chance he has. Because if she knew and kept quiet about it, it might hint that she would later on decide to flee alongside with the rest of the servants, although she might have been shaken up when seeing her brother who she had thought of dead. Because that would put her herself in a tight spot and there might be a bounty on her as well which might lead the Midford's to declaring the engagement is broken off. So whilst she fully understands why they made that decision, it doesn't keep her from breaking down which is somewhat the cueword for Lau to become active when saving his darling and her brother. It's literally his opportunity to shine without even having to do anything.

🚢If she didn't know and would feel betrayed by her little brother who kept it a secret from her as well as absolutely devastated that she never realized this despite being their older sister, she might be too confused to really do anything and stay which makes things for Lau more complicated since he didn't see this coming at all. He needs to change his plans afterwards and if "Ciel" has a similar sense of possession over his sis like he has over his little brother, this will get complicated since he won't let her off the hook easily.

[zsjudgingyou]

On the hunt

 [Humans were almost as cunning and wicked as the demons. They would turn on each other with little provocation. Forcing them to live with the knowledge they were not the species on earth and that there were rules they all had to follow…it was interesting. When they broke those rules, claiming they would not beholden to those they considered lesser. Those were my favorite ones to play with. Murdoch and I would hunt them down, dragging them back kicking and screaming for Karii to deal with. Those that didn’t make it back or those I had been given free rein to track down were even better though. Few and far between that they were. If they died along the way, I had their souls to play with. They thought death was the end, then they would wish that it was. Murdoch wasn’t bothered one way or the other. He got off on the thrill of the hunt but hated the actual blood shed and torture. He was of the mind you only killed what you ate, unless it was at the hands of justice aka Karii. That didn’t mean he didn’t play with them first. Only once did I see him break his own self imposed rules. The prisoner had been found guilty of the most heinous of crimes and had been sentenced to death. He bribed one of the guards and escaped. They didn’t inform us for two days and by then he’d made it two states over. We’d found him preparing another victim. Murdoch flashed by me in a blur to get to him first. There was nothing remaining to bring back with us other than the soul I had carried. The only reason anyone was upset by that one was they didn’t get to witness it or take part. 

Humans were pesky with their skewed views of rights and wrongs at times. What was good for them wasn’t good for another and what was horrible to them was perfect to bestow on their neighbors. They loved it when we caught and punished an otherworlder but when a human was tried they thought we were unfair despite them all being held to the same laws as the rest. Because of that, they were often my favorite prey. Their minds and souls could be much darker because they made excuses for their actions, justified it in their own heads. 

We’d been on the road for four days searching for our latest quarry. In this instance it was a human teamed up with an angel. They had gone on a multi state carnage spree. Why a human would stoop so low was beyond me. Everyone knew angels could not be trusted. People thought demons were bad but we were honest about who we were and what we were. Angels would lie and manipulate the circumstances surrounding all of their choices. I didn’t want to hear the “not all angels” bullshit argument either. If demons and vampires could all be painted with one brush so could those flighty bastards. We had tracked them to a fancy ass hotel just outside the main drag of the city, which meant they knew what they were doing. Most tried to hide out in the outskirts or lowly populated places making it easy. Hiding in the city meant we had to be more cautious to eliminate innocent bystanders getting tangled up in the shitshow. Because of course that responsibility fell to those trying to maintain order. We didn’t do enough to keep shit safe. Of course it wasn’t the fault of the actual criminals causing the damn problems. The more good we did the more headache it was. I swear if it wasn’t for the pact I made with Egregore, I would have bailed ages ago. That was not an option though. For now I had to focus.

The plan was for Murdoch to capture the human and I would handle the angel. We checked our protections and drank the concoction Karii had created for when we hunted the other-worlders. We had to make sure they wouldn’t be alerted to our presence and that drink pretty much turned us invisible to any sort of detection, we didn’t even show up on cameras, thermal or otherwise.  It also protected us from any traps that might have been set. Kar might have had her flaws, but her magic was definitely not one of them. Murdoch and I went over the plan once more and then we were off. I took the patio balcony and Murdoch took the front door. We waited a beat and then busted in.  Murdoch tackled the human before the dude could even blink. The angel came out of the kitchen to investigate the noise, froze for a moment and then tried to stun us. The spell rebounded and as the angel launched, it caught him mid air. He crashed, legs immobilized. I was on him before he could try again, fist connecting with his jaw just because I wanted to shut him up for a moment. A moment was all it lasted too. He tried incantations, he tried screeching in that high pitched scream angels possessed, he tried making deals, tried throwing his human under the bus. All of that within the few minutes it took me to put the cuffs on to restrain him. I glanced at Murdoch who had his human nice and subdued and begged with my eyes to please please please let me kill him because if I didn’t I knew this angel would drive me out of my skull before we left the city limits. 

Before Murdoch could respond, the angel bucked and I could see the cuffs warping. Not enough to come off but if given enough time they would. He cursed and spat at me as he twisted and before I could stop myself, the black tendrils slid down my arm, winding around the angel's chest and back, down his legs, his breath coming out in hitches and gasps as I stared down at him. It was like watching a movie scene. One I couldn’t pause or rewind. The angel’s olive skin was slowly turning black as tar as the life choked out of him. My smile grew, I could feel it, that sense of perverse pleasure taking hold. I hit the ground with a grunt as Murdoch tackled me, the tendrils snapping slowly. One small problem with Karii’s elixir was that it nullified other spells, other magics, other elixirs that even she created. Including the one that tampered whatever it was inside me. Murdoch was talking but it took a few minutes for me to return to the present. By then the angel was ranting and raving about torture and abuse and whatever other bullshit he wanted to spew. They knew though, the council, that whatever it was that ate up the inside of me only came out when it was needed. If it was needed. The angel didn’t even see the killing blow coming from Murdoch. One minute he was on top of me, the next he had severed the angel’s jugular. The human paled and slid into a fetal position, hoping he wasn’t next. He would be, just not here. We gathered them both up, then Murdoch placed some calls to make the transfer easier and a portal opened to the council's dungeons. I knew I’d have to talk to Kar because if I didn’t Murdoch would but it would have to wait. I needed to purge the soul of the angel and the darkness that I’d absorbed from him first.]

[lambden]

Here’s some belated Geraskier fic that I finally get to post, as last week’s flash fic challenge has wrapped up! This was originally published anonymously; kudos to those of you who guessed that I was the author. Head to the collection to see the picture prompt that inspired this, as well as view the other works. I've been having a great time participating in fandom events like this; I promise there's more on the way!!! (Read on AO3)

Up To Date

prompt: "You were so hot that when you asked if I was the blind date you were looking for, I lied and said yes. But then your actual date comes up to introduce themselves and I'm so embarrassed."

G, 2.3K words, modern AU, Geralt/Jaskier

It shouldn’t be this difficult to find inspiration. He never used to struggle like this in high school, finding his muse in everyone and everything. Even his mundane trip on the city bus to and from school would give Jaskier hundreds of ideas, for poems too personal to publish or lyrics too deep for his band to use. Back then he had thought he lacked discipline and experience, so the clear choice had been to take his interest in poetry one step further and go to university.

The problem, as he’s now discovering halfway through his second year, is that he maybe hates university. He loves it, of course; he loves the praise from his professors and peers, he loves learning about the history of literature and art. He even loves the academic rivalries that wax and wane every term, and the competitions that ignite a mean streak in him he didn’t know he had.

But his assignments are of worse quality than anything he’s ever written before, and try as he might, they aren’t getting any better. Putting words on the page just to meet a count is impossible for a poet, not when the space and thoughts and images are all supposed to be cohesive. Poems used to flow from him so freely he hadn’t been able to keep track and now his well of motivation has just about run dry.

That’s what led him here, for the third time this week. His creative dysfunction has forced him into the day-to-day habits of an elderly man who spends his days reading in public gardens. It hasn’t helped so far, but maybe this third time will be the charm. Jaskier finds his favorite place: right by the koi pond, next to a strange art installation with ivy crawling along it. He sits at the base of the giant question mark, dropping his backpack onto the bench beside him.

“This better fucking work,” mutters Jaskier to himself and the koi, opening today’s book to a random poem. He refuses to let his mind wander at first, gluing his eyes to the page and reading with intense intent. The first poem he sees is about love.

Groaning, Jaskier flips the page. The next poem is also about love.

The third poem is about war, and Jaskier thinks that might be alright, until he realizes what this long-dead poet is trying to tell him, which is that war is also about love. Because it is, of course, but also of course it is. Jaskier scowls deeply and flips through the book to a random page, hoping to find something to spark inspiration that won’t just make him feel hopeless and single and hopelessly single.

Before Jaskier can get through the title, someone speaks to him, startling him so badly he jumps. “Are you Yennefer’s friend?”

Jaskier scrambles to catch the book by its cover and nearly drops it. He hadn’t even heard anyone approach. “Sorry?”

The stranger audibly sighs, as if Jaskier has inconvenienced him terribly. With all the force of someone announcing their presence at their own death row, he grits out, “I’m here for a blind date she set up. With you.” Jaskier looks up at the man and sees him wearing a blank expression, pointing at the question mark in front of the bench. “By the thing.”

“Oh,” Jaskier says, still looking at the man. It takes a second for the words to sink in because the stranger is perhaps the most handsome person Jaskier has ever seen. He could write a thousand poems and still fail to capture his beauty. He has golden eyes, for one, and a sharply chiseled face. Even grimacing like this, his jaw is set in the loveliest way, and his stern brow is framed by platinum white hair, half-tied up. He’s wearing a fairly gloomy outfit for a blind date, but maybe he told whoever Yennefer is that he would be dressed in black. Regardless, he’s making it work.

The gorgeous stranger is still waiting for an answer, scowl worsening as Jaskier tries to make his decision about how the fuck to handle this. Really, there’s no decision at all— he just impulsively takes the leap. All his best ideas come when he’s stumbling forward blind anyway. “Yes,” he finally says, jumping to his feet. “Yes, um, I’m sorry, you caught me off-guard. I’m Jaskier.”

“Geralt.” They’re of a similar height, but Geralt is so much wider. Jaskier wants to climb him like ivy on a question mark. “I’m sorry I interrupted.”

“It’s fine! I got here a while ago. You know, can’t be too early!” Jaskier has never been early for anything in his life. He sits down again and shoves his books into his bag as quickly as he can. Geralt shifts his weight back and forth between his feet before awkwardly sitting on the bench next to Jaskier, looking out at the garden. “I’ve never done this kind of thing before,” he admits, which is true. His usual lies and schemes are much less chaotic.

Geralt doesn’t reply to that, leaving Jaskier to privately wonder about his dating life. He stares at the plants, giving the impression that he might be hideously nervous. Jaskier has no idea why someone like Geralt would be nervous about anything but it’s an awkward situation, to say the least. Right as Jaskier’s about to suggest they get out of here before Geralt’s real date shows up, the man asks, “What were you reading?”

“I was studying, sort of,” Jaskier says. “I’m a student.” Then abruptly he wonders how much Geralt knows about who he’s supposed to be, and he swallows, pulse racing.

Glancing over, Geralt’s yellow eyes meet his. There’s no obvious doubt there, just a curiosity. “What’s your major?”

“Poetry,” Jaskier grins as their conversation starts to pick up something resembling a rhythm. “What about you, are you in school?”

“No,” says Geralt, cutting his dreams of a normal date conversation short. “Are you any good? At writing poetry?”

What a weirdo. Jaskier’s heart thrums. “I’d like to think so!” This, at least, is something he knows how to talk about. Except, of course, it isn’t really the truth. “Well… recently, I’ve been in a bit of a creative rut. Just waiting for the right burst of inspiration to come along.” Perhaps this blind date that he’s stolen will suffice, but he doesn’t say that. “This place is great for that, actually. I mean, it hasn’t worked yet, but I’m sure any day those fish will sing for me.”

Geralt blinks. Jaskier feels a bead of sweat run down the back of his neck. He tries a different tactic, crossing his ankles and asking politely, “Are you a reader? What kind of things do you enjoy?”

“Nonfiction,” Geralt answers, slightly stilted. His gaze drifts over to the plants once more. “Not biographies, more like… encyclopedias and field journals. I like field journals.”

“Alright,” Jaskier says, shrinking into himself. This is going terribly. “I’ll have to go bribe some scientists for their field journals, then.” The corner of Geralt’s lip twitches, and Jaskier’s stomach flips. Gorgeous and weird and maybe, although he’s trying his best to hide it behind seven layers of nerves, maybe a little amused by Jaskier. Jaskier is going to fuck him right here in the garden. “Do you take journals of your own for work?”

A rather roundabout way of asking ‘what the fuck is it that you do’ but somehow, it lands. “I’m a… researcher,” Geralt mumbles. How very vague. “But I don’t publish my findings very often.”

Jaskier raises an eyebrow. “Do you work… for a company?”

“No.”

“Right. So you’re just keeping all your findings to yourself for no good reason at all.”

“No.”

“Then it sounds like you’re a pretty terrible researcher, actually.”

Geralt’s eyes flash as he turns to glare at Jaskier. “What?”

“Well, if you don’t share what you’ve found with anyone—”

“My… colleagues—”

“Aha! So you have colleagues!” Jaskier pokes Geralt’s side. “You aren’t just holed up in some depressing storage unit with months and months of research just for you.”

Once more, Geralt half-smirks. Not even half— more like a one-fifth smirk. “Years,” he admits.

“Years…” Jaskier tilts his head to the side thoughtfully. “Why do I have the feeling that you’re perhaps a significant number of years older than me?”

“I had the same thought when I saw you sitting here,” Geralt mumbles.

Jaskier snorts. “Seems like something Yennefer should have warned us about, perhaps. I would ask you directly how old you are, but I’m fairly certain that the only response I will get is a very gruff no.”

“No,” says Geralt, nearly smiling.

Making a show of pouting, Jaskier folds his arms over his chest. “Is that your favorite word?”

“No.” Geralt breaks into laughter as he repeats himself, and his whole face lights up with it. Jaskier laughs too, delighted by how joyous Geralt looks. He’s even more beautiful when he’s happy like this, and Jaskier wants very badly for this not to be their last date. “If I tell you my favorite word, you’re bound to judge me for it, as a poet.”

“As a poet, I swear not to mock you,” Jaskier raises his hand to cover his heart, barely restraining himself from grinning.

But before Geralt can share whatever it is, someone else approaches their bench. A second stranger— a woman about his height with short brown hair, wearing a pretty blouse. Jaskier notices her much more quickly than he’d noticed Geralt, and he makes the connection instantly. This can’t possibly end well.

“Oh, Yen wasn’t kidding,” says the stranger, eyeing Geralt. “You are very distinctive!”

Geralt stares back at her, slack-jawed for a moment. “What?”

“I’m Renfri,” Geralt’s date introduces herself. Jaskier wishes the earth would open up and swallow him whole, especially when she glances over at him. Her gaze slides back to Geralt, as does Jaskier’s, and yeah, he is very fucking distinctive with that white hair and those yellow eyes. Damn. “My friend Yennefer set us up for a blind date…?”

As Jaskier contemplates throwing himself into the koi pond, Geralt twists to stare at him. Jaskier can only imagine how mortified he must look right now; his face burns as both Renfri and Geralt look his way. Perhaps Renfri will figure it out before Geralt says anything; she looks like a smart woman.

But Geralt just gets up, dusting himself off and shaking his head. “No,” he tells Renfri, which would almost be funny if it weren’t the weirdest thing Jaskier has ever seen anyone do. Then Geralt leaves, turning to walk away from both of them, leaving Jaskier and Renfri alone together in the garden. Renfri frowns, watching him go with obvious increasing confusion. Jaskier also jumps to his feet, equally confused but determined not to lose sight of Geralt.

He chases the man— and it does feel like a chase, Geralt must be fucking speed-walking away— and finally tracks him down well outside the garden. Geralt is thundering down a set of stairs leading to a parking lot and he doesn’t stop at the sound of Jaskier careening towards him. Only when Jaskier desperately calls his name does he finally stop, slowing until he reaches the bottom landing and then standing there, still.

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier calls down the stairs, breathless. He begins to descend them but Geralt doesn’t turn around. “Fuck, you’re fast! Shit. I’m sorry, Geralt.”

Without looking his way, Geralt complains, so quietly that Jaskier nearly misses it, “Yennefer is going to kill me.”

“I would have fucked off,” Jaskier says quickly, hurrying down the rest of the steps until he gets to the bottom. Geralt still doesn’t look at him so Jaskier slides none-too-gracefully into his space, demanding his attention. He’s hardly red in the face or anything, but he looks embarrassed. Jaskier crumbles. “I’m sorry. I— seriously, I don’t care, I would have fucked off. I should’ve left, I should’ve— You should go back there, she’s beautiful!”

Geralt’s nostrils flare but he doesn’t look away. “Why did you lie,” he demands, flat.

“Well,” Jaskier deflates. “Um. You’re beautiful.”

“Hmm.”

“I really am sorry,” he offers.

Geralt, still watching him closely, says, “You don’t sound sorry.”

“What do you want me to do?” Jaskier throws his hands in the air, breaking away from Geralt’s stare— in the greenhouse, surrounded by bright lights and open, manmade nature, it had been easy to sit under the weight of Geralt’s eyes on him. Down here, at the end of a staircase and the entrance to a dark garage, chest still heaving, it feels too intimate. He puts some distance between them, sighing. “You want me to go back there and explain the whole situation to poor Renfri?”

When Jaskier finally turns around again, Geralt’s gaze hasn’t left him. “I want you to come have dinner with me instead,” he says, slowly but purposefully.

“Oh,” breathes Jaskier. “That’s— well, if you want that.”

“I already made a reservation for two. My name’s on the list.” Geralt is fidgeting with the end of his sleeve at first but when he approaches Jaskier he drops it, striding forward without hesitating. “Table for Geralt and one young brunet friend of Yennefer’s.”

Jaskier chokes on his own surprised laugh. “I don’t actually know Yennefer,” he needlessly explains.

“She’s going to hate you,” says Geralt, half-smirking, and then he adds, “Well, she’ll hate both of us now.”

They get to the restaurant twenty minutes late, Geralt’s hair mussed up and lips a bitten red and Jaskier wearing his backpack and a shit-eating grin. The host sees them and immediately tells them their table has been cancelled, and they end up getting terrible two-dollar slices from a hole-in-the-wall pizza place. They eat on the way back to Geralt’s car and then he drives Jaskier back to campus, kissing him soundly in the door to his apartment until Priscilla comes home and yells at Jaskier to get a room. As they squabble Geralt apologizes, polite and nervous, and kisses Jaskier’s cheek and tells him it was nice to meet him.

Jaskier goes inside and spends the next thirteen hours writing the best poetry he will ever write.

[birdhaslostit]

🦇💀🕷🕸 What the Lupin Gang would do/wear for Halloween! 🕸🕷🍬🍭

This may be OOC, but it’s Halloween, and nobody is themselves on Halloween. That’s the whole point. It’s time to let loose babey

��� Lupin: 

Lupin would wear something suave yet spooky. (A vampire is a tried-and-true option.) Whatever it is, it has to leave some of his face showing- how else is he supposed to woo the ladies at the party? Other costume choices include a pirate captain, Jack Skellington, and a joint costume with Fujiko as Victor and Emily from Corpse Bride.

Lupin has ABSOLUTELY dressed up as Dr. Frank N Furter from Rocky Horror Picture show. Definitely more than once.

Lupin would definitely get WAAAAAAY into Halloween. Like, the first of October, BAM. Orange jacket with a black shirt and an orange tie. He makes all of his October heists Halloween-themed, but he doesn’t steal on Halloween because that’s when he goes ALL. OUT. 

Each year he picks a different city to celebrate in. He spaces out wherever he goes so he doesn’t get caught, but rumors about Lupin spread, so each year people make a guessing game of where he’s gonna go for Halloween. Each year, he picks a hideout in the most popular trick-or-treating area of that city and decks it OUT with Halloween decorations. A large chunk of the decor expenses was probably taken from the Halloween Jacket heists from that year.

Lupin never sends invitations for it though- this is the one time he won’t do it. He insists that it adds to the “illusion of mystique.” He leaves it up to the trick-or-treaters to spread the word. News quickly gets around that the cool house down the street might be Lupin, and without fail, it turns into a block party within the first 2 hours or less.

On Halloween, he gives out candy to literally everyone. He spoils the little kids with king-size candy bars. He encourages the teens to go egg/TP houses of rude people in the area (he staked them out in advance specifically to do this.) He hypes up the costumed adults and hands out Halloween-themed drinks. 

The day after Halloween, the hideout looks deserted, like nobody was ever there. Nobody can ever figure out how he packs it all up so quickly, without anyone noticing. The only thing he leaves, every single time, is a jack-o-lantern with his face on it. 

🎃 Jigen: 

Something classic and/or low-effort. First thing that comes to mind is a werewolf. 

Lupin might bug him about stealing his trademark, but Jigen fits the image better. He’s gruff and hairy and may perhaps shoot you if you make fun of his costume. 

Jigen might also go for a classic Dracula if Lupin isn’t a vampire that year. He’s also been a cowboy several times.

He doesn’t really interact with the crowd unless they come up to him first (which is rare because he doesn’t exactly exude “friendly,” and it’s usually a little kid, because they don’t really notice.) 

If it’s a little kid though, Jigen’s always nice to them. Especially little boys who like his cowboy costume. (He wears that one the most as an excuse to carry his magnum around without people getting suspicious.) He’ll put on the southern drawl and everything. He doesn’t want to break the illusion for a kid, especially not on Halloween.

One time a little boy called him Woody, Lupin overheard, and teased him about it the whole night because he thought it would bug Jigen. Jigen secretly thought it was the funniest/sweetest thing ever, and snuck the kid extra candy in his bucket before he left with his mom. 

Jigen won’t take any crap from teenage trick-or-treaters who are rude. You know, the ones who take too much from the bucket so there’s none left for the little kids. He’ll turn them away at the door. It’s never come down to him having to pull out the Magnum, because his glare alone is enough to scare the crap out of them so they’ll leave. Same goes for tipsy adults who’ve had one too many Halloween-themed drinks and get too rowdy. 

One year Lupin made a joke about how Jigen should give some candy cigarettes out to kids for Halloween, and Jigen shut it down FAST. He doesn’t want to encourage kids to start his bad habit, so he doesn’t smoke around other people at the party, and makes extra sure that kids aren’t around when he does.

One year, Jigen gave out out tiny water pistols with the candy. Lupin got some for him to hand out because they reminded him of Jigen at the store, and even though Jigen brushed it off at the time, he appreciated it.

🎃 Goemon: 

Goemon secretly loves Halloween, but will literally die before admitting it to anyone. It took him a while to warm up to it, though.

He still sticks to tradition- his costumes all have something to do with Japan. Kabuki Ishikawa Goemon is a classic that he returns to often. He’s dressed up as various oni/yōkai/yūrei before, and several figures from Japanese folklore.

Goemon has also been a samurai for Halloween, even though it’s just his regular clothes. It’s for the kids, really- he secretly enjoys the attention.

He will make jack-o-lanterns with Zantetsuken, but only for little kids that he thinks are especially polite. Lupin whines every time because Goemon won’t make him one too.

He always insists on getting Japanese candies for the candy bowl, like Pocky and the various flavored Kit Kats they have in Japan. At first he insisted on more traditional treats, then he realized they might not keep well and opted for these. Plus, it’s for the kids.

He does keep things like konpeitō and wagashi for himself to snack on throughout the night. He’ll share, but the same rule applies as the jack-o-lanterns- only for the super polite kids.

One time Lupin made a bet with Goemon, and if he lost, he had to be a geisha for Halloween.

He lost.

He doesn’t like to talk about it.

Everyone else does, every single year, without fail. 

Goemon has also become the de facto Guardian of the Punch Bowls. Lupin keeps them out for both the trick-or-treaters and the partygoers. One bowl for the kids, and an alcoholic one for the adults. The adult punch is clearly labeled. Now, you should never drink the punch at a party because you don’t know what’s in it, but Lupin is the exception in this regard. No funny business is happening with that punch bowl. And Goemon will make damn sure of that. 

Nobody ever assigned him the position of Punch Bowl Guardian, he just picked it up himself. Before Halloween one year, Lupin was (rightfully) worried at first that someone would try to put something dangerous in it, and was about to opt out of having a communal punch bowl. Then, Goemon spoke up that he had it covered, and thus, he was made the Punch Bowl Guardian.

Nobody has ever tried to spike it with anything, and nobody ever will. Lupin gets to mingle instead of guarding the bowl, and Goemon gets to relax away from the crowd. Everybody wins.

🎃 Fujiko:

If you don’t think Fujiko hasn’t been a Playboy bunny at least once, you’re lying to yourself. She has also been a mouse, à la Mean Girls, and basically a sexy version of anything you can think of. Except for a cop. She wouldn’t stoop that low.

Occasionally, it wasn’t originally supposed to be a sexy version of the outfit/character. Lupin sometimes replaces the original with a raunchier outfit the night before, and waits to see if she notices. 

She always does. 

Sometimes she likes that version better and sticks with it, and if Lupin ever asks about it on Halloween, she denies it all. If she doesn’t like it, she knows that Lupin kept the original and will put it back before she wakes up on Halloween. They’ve been playing this game for years, and there’s never any malice behind it. It’s just their customary brand of Halloween trickery.

One time she planned to dress up as Lupin, purely to see if he’d replace his outfit with a risqué version the night before. 

Of course he did, why would you expect anything less???

She laughed so hard at it that she tripped and fell, and he rushed in to see if she was okay and also to see if she was wearing it because he wanted a peek 

She then made HIM wear it on Halloween, while she wore his regular clothes. He was cool with it, had a blast, got blasted on too many cups of adult punch, and then got a little too into the outfit, so Jigen had to bribe him to take it off at the end of night. 

Her favorite costume that wasn’t ‘edited’ by Lupin is from the year she dressed up as Pops. She swiped it from his disguise collection, and hid it where he wouldn’t find it before he could notice it was gone. Her decoy costume was a bumblebee. She’s just as good at disguises as Lupin is, so when she showed up as Zenigata, Lupin nearly shit a brick. 

Goemon will never let him forget it.

🎃 Zenigata: 

Zenigata probably dresses up as an old-school detective or Sherlock Holmes, which isn’t really too different from his normal attire, but it makes him happy regardless. 

He will not arrest Lupin on Halloween. 

Zenigata knows about the parties, but turns a blind eye to them at this point, because it’s a fruitless endeavor trying to catch a master of disguise on Halloween. He has tried in the past, but only once. When Zenigata first discovered that Lupin threw these parties, he found out where Lupin was on Halloween and came to arrest him. 

He walked up to the hideout and saw Lupin handing out candy to a pair of kids. He couldn’t go through with it, because wouldn’t you know it, their costumes were tiny versions of him and Lupin. 

He immediately did a 180 and started to leave, since Lupin wasn’t technically breaking the law at the time, and he’s a sucker for kids. (He got a little misty-eyed at the sight of a tiny little girl drowning in a trenchcoat that looked just like his, with a pair of cheap plastic handcuffs in the pocket. He’d hate to show it in front of Lupin though.)

Lupin, of course, knew Zenigata was coming before he even arrived, grabbed his shoulder, and stopped him from walking away. The girls were too young to see past Lupin’s costume and had no idea that it was him, and they had assumed that Zenigata was also in costume. Zenigata told them it was really him, and, of course, they are THRILLED.

They ask him about his adventures with Lupin, and he tells them the G-rated versions of the stories. Lupin joins in, after leaving for a ‘bathroom break’ and coming back as himself. The two spend the night answering their questions, telling stories, and doing party tricks. Zenigata shows how quickly he can handcuff Lupin while blindfolded, and Lupin shows how he can dislocate his joints to get out/pick the lock. 

When the girls’ parents show up, they see their kids sitting next to these two adults in the same ‘costumes.’ They seem to be good people, so the parents compliment their costumes and go home with their kids. The girls insist that the two men were the real Lupin and Pops, but the parents brush it off. 

Every year since, Lupin leaves another jack-o-lantern with his face on it besides the one he leaves at the hideout once he’s gone. No matter where the party is, or how far it is from where Zenigata is staying, Pops always gets one too. Usually with a piece of candy next to it, and a calling card for his next, non-Halloween-themed heist.

[cherryliqueurkinks]

˗ˏˋ betty smut ideas: canon-inspired edition ˎˊ˗

please note: there are many DUBCON/NONCON elements in the list below! proceed with caution if you are sensitive to those kinks or similarly hard kinks.

A little while ago, I did a Betty-centric exchange with @kagszzy and @riverdaledreaming where we took a canon subplot or scene and put a smutty spin on it! I shared a list of ideas with them that I’ve been adding to throughout the seasons and I realized I should’ve shared this with everyone else a long time ago, because it’s not as if I could possible get to everything on here! So if you’re a Betty-lover like us and need some kinky ideas to play with, I hope these inspire some new smut! 

season one

the game of spin-the-bottle at Cheryl’s party is a kinky one and the bottle lands on Betty instead of Veronica

Betty and Cheryl hang out in Betty’s room and Betty asks Cheryl to teach her how to be good with guys

Betty actually wants to be a bad girl when she approaches Chuck and they fuck (or, alternatively, he knows Betty is trying to play him and drugs her instead)

Betty gets carried away in her “Dark Betty” persona with Chuck and they end up fucking in the hot tub

Betty fucks one of the workers or guards at The Sisters of Quiet Mercy to let her see Polly without alerting Alice as instructed (maybe as a one-time deal or as a regular thing for Betty to continue to see Polly)

Betty asks FP to use his Serpent connections to find a safe place for Polly to stay escaping from The Sisters of Quiet Mercy, and her fucks Betty as form of “payment” for his help

Betty goes to the trailer alone to ask FP about Jason’s death and FP fucks her in exchange for answer (or alternatively, as “punishment” for being nosy or as a way to distract her from continuing to interrogate him)

Betty convinces FP to help her with Jughead’s birthday party

FP “comforts” Betty after her fight with Jughead at his birthday party

Betty goes to the trailer after Jughead ran off from homecoming to talk to him but finds FP there instead (maybe he takes advantage of her being distraught about Jughead, or alternatively, of her being angry that Jughead ran off)

season two

Betty agrees to be in someone’s service in exchange for their help in saving Pop’s from closing after Fred’s shooting (maybe an original character, or she meets Hiram Lodge before she knows he’s Veronica’s father)

Betty bribes the Greendale police to learn details on Ms. Grundy’s death to see if her shooter could also be Fred’s shooter

Betty catches one of the drug deals discreetly being run by the Serpents during Retro Night at Pop’s and confronts them

The Black Hood visits Betty in person rather than calls her and says that he’ll stop killing as long as she keeps fucking him (maybe he also makes her wear sex toys to control her during the day)

The Black Hood kidnaps Betty when he lures her to the isolated house near Fox Forest to put on his mask

Archie and Jughead aren’t in the Ghoulies den when Veronica and Betty sneak in and the Ghoulies have their fun with them

Betty joins Veronica when she sleeps over at Kevin’s house and is the one caught snooping by Sheriff Keller

Sheriff Keller catches Betty sneaking into his home and searching his office and decides to punish her himself rather than calling her parents

Sheriff Keller catches Betty and Veronica following him to the Shady Palm Motel and they learn that his secret is far more perverse than simply having an affair

Betty visits FP at the trailer after his release from prison to check on him and it leads to him fucking her for hours to release his sexual frustration

Betty convinces Toni to let her practice her Serpent Dance before FP’s party and some Serpents are at the bar to watch (maybe even also FP)

Betty stays at FP’s party after Jughead breaks up with her and the Serpents decide to “cheer her up” now that she’s officially one of them

Betty goes to Pickens Park alone instead of with Archie and The Black Hood fucks her (or alternatively, he makes Archie watch as punishment to “cleanse him of his sins” instead of being killed)

One of the clients at Chic’s hostel mistakes her as another “fantasy fulfiller” and drags her into one of the rooms to have his way with her

Betty becomes a camgirl

Hiram fucks Betty in revenge for letting Jughead publish an article shaming him in The Blue and Gold (or as a “warning” for her not to let it happen again)

Tall Boy kidnaps Betty and videos him fucking her as blackmail to drive Jughead and FP out of the Serpents so he could be in charge

Betty fucks Hiram in exchange for him buying the trailer park to prevent the Southside from getting evicted

FP secretly fucks Betty when she’s living at the trailer to avoid Chic (maybe he offers it as “distraction” from her troubles at home, or maybe she wants to “thank” him for letting her stay there)

Betty tries to convince Sweet Pea and Fangs to trust her so Jughead gets the Serpent vote for student body president

season three

Fred wants to give Betty an extra special thank you for giving up her summer to help Mary prepare for Archie’s trial (or alternatively, as a thank you for her fulfilling her promise to Archie to keep Fred company after Archie goes to juvie)

Dr. Glass decides to try some radical methods on Betty during their therapy sessions to get her to open up (or Dr. Glass can be substituted by Fred or FP being asked by Alice to help Betty deal with her trauma)

Jughead asks Sweet Pea (or Fangs, or both of them) to “distract” Betty from their mission to rescue Hot Dog from the Ghoulies

Tom Keller figures out that Betty is investigating Gryphons & Gargoyles and takes matters into his own to convince Betty to stop

Betty is tasked with distracting the guards when the gang breaks Archie out of juvie

Sheriff Minetta takes drastic measures during his interrogation with Betty to get her to admit that she helped break Archie out of juvie

Hiram agrees to help Betty escape The Sisters of Quiet Mercy in exchange for being in his care instead

Hiram takes advantage of Betty while she’s high off of fizzle rocks at The Sisters of Quiet Mercy

Fangs (maybe with Sweet Pea and other Serpents) take their anger over Jughead’s “no crime” ruling out on Betty (or alternatively, they corner Betty without Jughead knowing and force her to convince him to change his mind)

Hiram takes advantage of Betty feeling angry and helpless after Alice “donates” all of Betty’s money to The Farm and he offers to provide for her in exchange for her service

Betty tries to see Hal in prison so he can prove that Alice forged his signature but the only way she can see him is through a conjugal visit

Betty takes the Jones’s offer for Betty to still live with them after they buy the house from Alice and FP takes advantage of the new arrangement

or alternatively, Hiram takes advantage of the fact that Betty is staying with them after Alice sells the house

Betty gives FP an extra special present for his 50th birthday party after everyone else has left

Edgar takes drastic measures to convince Betty to join The Farm

Betty asks Hiram to honor Hal’s request to be transferred to his prison and Hiram agrees to do it in exchange for “a favor”

season four

Betty and Charles are a lot closer than they let Jughead believe considering how much time they spend alone in the FBI office together

Betty helps out at the car wash to fundraise the gym renovations and one of the customers gets handsy with her while everyone else is on a break

FP and Betty find themselves alone together in their house more often than not and they take advantage of it (maybe Charles is also involved because Betty is trying to make a connection with her half-brother)

Charles wants to comfort Betty after being terrorized with prank phone calls by Polly on Halloween and they get carried away

Charles takes advantage of Betty’s vulnerability over having the serial killer gene and offers to help her control her darkness

Jughead is distracted with writing for a few hours during Betty’s visit to Stonewall and Bret takes advantage of it (maybe with Donna)

Betty tries to seduce and drug Bret like she did Chuck to get Bret to admit to Stonewall jumping Munroe

Betty is kidnapped by the Quill and Skull as part of an initiation or hazing ritual for Jughead as a new member

Mr. Honey is skeptical about Betty wanting to participate in the quiz show so Betty goes to extreme lengths to get his approval (or alternatively, Mr. Honey punishes Betty for cheating on the quiz show)

FP questions Betty alone about having Jughead’s phone after he’s gone missing and decides to try another means to get the truth out of her

Sweet Pea is the one hooking up with Betty in the bunker when Donna follows Betty into the forest and she stays to get proof that they’re only faking (or alternatively, it’s Reggie)

[faustonastring]

Your hcs are so on point! good job op!! could you do a real world hc with the main six playing the arcana? mc being the fictional one, and they caught our reversed ending 😭

Hi! Thanks for requesting I appreciate it! Hopefully this is what you wanted!

Request R open!

Main Six playing the arcana and getting a bad ending!

Also fun fact when I first started playing the arcana stanned asra, hard, and then somehow managed to get his bad ending first, (probably because of my stubbornness) and I never felt more disappointed in my life, so I’m basing these off the pain I felt that one faithfull night.

Asra

He first downloaded the game as a joke, thinking it would be like one of those weird dating simulators (you know the ones) and is pleasntly surprised when he finds out that it isn’t. He’s even more surprised when he starts to get invested in the game, like really invested

He falls in love with your character as soon as he sees it, you’re everything he wants in a relationship, everything he’s dreamed of, he even goes out of his way to buy your charms, and merch, (Muriel makes fun of him for it, but asra feels no shame)

The day finally comes, he’s finally on the last chapter, and he’s almost certain he’s got your good ending, but something feels off. There’s a weird dark undertone that he can’t really shake, but there’s no way he got the reversed ending, he did everything right! Right?

When the reversed ending screen shows up, his heart drops, he goes into a panicked mode trying to figure out where he went wrong, looking up guides and cheats, time traveling to get more keys so he can get a redo, he’ll do anything. Luckily Muriel is there to calm him down and remind him it’s just a game, but that doesn’t stop him from feeling guilty about it, like he did something wrong.

Nadia

Asra somehow managed to convinced her to play it for the story, it catches her off guard when she starts to fall for a fictional character. Very off guard...It takes her a while to admit that she likes your character, so it’s hard to pinpoint where exactly she started to catch feelings, but when she does, finally admit to it, she still tries to push them waaaaay down.

She doesn’t tell anyone, about the game, or about that one character that she really likes, not even Asra, who is the one who got her into this game, everytime he asks how she’s liking it, she’ll simply say “it’s decent” but they both know she’s lying. She’s also too scared to buy merch I case some one were to find it, so she doesn’t but has a deep need too.

She gets very excited when it’s time to get her ending, (a little more excited then she thought she would get,) she’s not too overly confident, she thinks she made one or two wrong choices, but in the end she thinks she made a majority good, right? Right???

Within five minutes of playing the ending, she knows it’s a bad one, there’s no way your LI turning themselves into the devil is a good ending...but then again... she’s not overly disappointed, just a little, shes also not too mad about the bad ending she got.... but all in all she goes back to redo her choices and gets the good eneding. (She found the reverse ending to be more intresting but hey, Beggars can’t be choosers,)

Julian

Portia just wouldn’t shut up about this game, so he decides to give it a go, besides who doesn’t love a cheesy romance story, but then he finds out the story is heavily based on witch craft and Magick and almost deletes the app. Portia some how manages to convince him to keep the app, he falls in love with your character by like the third or fourth chapter.

He thinks your unique, intriguing, he wants to know more about your character so does as much research as he can, and now has a lot of random knowledge about your character. I don’t think he’s the type to buy merch of your character, but he definitely finds it cute.

He’s overalls anxious while playing the game, as soon as it was announced/he found out that there were bad endings, so when it comes time for the ending he is practically sweating, and feels him self on the verge of an anxiety attack for a character of a dating simulator aimed at teenagers and young adults. (Granted Julian should be in his mid thirties atleast)

When he gets your Reversed he feels his heart crush, how could he do this too you, his bad choices got you turned into a damn bird, (or any animal of your choosing) he feels so bad that he catches him self apologizing. Apologizing. He ends up deleting the game because it ended up giving him a lot of stress and anxiety and he can’t mentally go through that again, even if it means getting your upright . (He does go back to get it three months later, because he feels bad and the guilt is eating him alive, then uninstalls it for good.)

Portia

This isn’t her first rodeo. I feel like playing dating simulators is a small guilty pleasure of hers, on the topic she’s lost countless hours of sleep playing mystic messenger, her favorites are yoosung, and jahee, (zen and seven remind her too much of diffrent versions of her brother, jumin grosses her our, and she can’t afford another story.)

She thinks your character is adorable! She falls in love in like the first chapter, you’re just so cute! She most definitely has atleast one charm of you that’s official, the rest of the merch she has of you is from artist from the fandom! (Portia supports small artist the most out of the main six, Asra’s close behind)

She is very confident that she got your upright ending. How could she not? She did every thing the (outdated) guide on Wikipedia said, but when she’s playing your ending something doesn’t feel right...Maybe she read the guide wrong....but those choices felt right....

Gasps, very loudly when she sees the reversed ending screen. She had a feeling, but it still hurt a little bit, it always does, espically when you like a character so much that you go to the wiki to double check your choices. But she tries again anyways and gets your upright ending, (without the wiki) and is very proud of her self

Muriel

Why. He does not see the appeal at all. Why would you dedicate days, weeks, to a fictional character who doesn’t exist and is programmed to fall in love with you. Asra has to bribe him with smoked eel for him to even download it, but when he does indulge in playing it, he starts to see the apeal.

It feels nice to be loved, to be wanted, even if it’s not real, and he likes that about your character, he likes your character a lot. Asra has often caught him smiling stupidly at his phone while he plays the game, he doesn’t like the overly romantic scenes, but the cute cheesy ones are okay. He’s also too ashamed to buy official art, so he draws his own, but doesn’t show it to anyone

Poor man didn’t even know there were bad endings, until asra told him. That’s when things started to go downhill. He went back through the game, replaying old chapters,second guessing his choices, picking the opposite of what he feels is right, because there’s no way what he thinks is right could actually be it, right?

When he gets your reversed ending he feels his heart drop into his stomach, his eyes even start to water, he gets so upset and frustrated that he uninstalls the app, and never reinstalls it. But It’d be bold of you to assume that stops him from drawing fan art.

Lucio

So like, the devs confirmed during one of the “ask the arcana’s” that lucio would be a loud let’s play YouTuber, so It’s bold of you to assume that he wouldn’t play this on his obnoxious YouTube channel because one (1) person requested it on his only fans

He starts out by making fun of the game, very obnoxiously, but suddenly stops making fun of your character, he claims that your character is to “well written” to make fun of, to seem cool, but everyone watching knows that he has a thing for you. His fans even send him official merch or fan art that they made of you’re character because they know how much he likes you. (He keeps all of it but never says thank you)

When it’s time for the endings he is very overly confident, claiming that he knows for a fact that he got the upright ending, that he is 100% sure that he made all the right choices. But in reality he’s just saying that I’m order to convince himself, he’s actually not too sure,

When he gets the reverse ending, he kind of just stares at his phone like a deer In the headlights for a couple seconds, then his twitch stream gets banned from the string of curses he’s letting out because the game is “obviously rigged” and there’s “no way” he deserved to get a bad ending. (He tries to replay the entire route and gets the bad ending again, then just gives up.)

Thanks for reading I hope you liked it!

Next Headcanon: Main six reacting to an Mc with really long hair! (5/19)

Request Are Open! :-)

[zrtranscripts]

Home Front, Mission 28: Battle at Rackthorn

All that Glitters

~

JANINE DE LUCA: Hello, listeners. Colonel De Luca here, and I must warn you, today's fitness session may differ from your expectations. Do begin warming up. Stretch out, or commence jogging on the spot. Before I begin this workout, I will repeat my briefing for runners in the field who are concerned for Runner Five's well-being: Runner Five is safe and well. Repeat, Five is safe and well.

We do not know how Artemus Thurman found his way to the top of the lift shaft before Five got there. We can only presume he knows the secrets of Spectrum Mall better than any of us. However, for reasons we also do not understand, he simply looked at Runner Five for a few moments and then walked away. Five is now back in the camping shop in the Spectrum Mall. I have personally instructed Five on how to board up and secure the entrance to the underground village. If you are listening, Five, we will rescue you.

And for that purpose, we all need to be fitter than ever, which brings us to this so-called workout. Of late, Mr. Yao has been littering Abel's comm facilities with notes from his [paper rustles] Demons and Darkness campaign, a type of fantastical war game, I believe. Normally I am not one to engage with Mr. Yao's absurdities, but certain notes have caught my eye: a scenario entitled Battle at Rackthorn, in which a castle is besieged, a situation not dissimilar to our own, trapped in our shelters, surrounded by zombies.

The siege is described as unwinnable, something I have never countenanced in tactical exercises. Indeed, examining the particulars, it seems to me there is an obvious way to win, provided my solution is within the bounds of physical endurance. So in the coming break, you may continue warming up or rest, and when we return, you will test my solution.

You will adopt the motions required of Mr. Yao’s fantasy hero to prove his war game can be resolved, but I must emphasize, this will not be one of Mr. Yao's cleaning romps. It is an exercise in tactical theory intended to test my thinking and keep your minds and bodies sharp. When the break ends, be assured, I will be pushing you to your very limits, and this absolutely most certainly will not be any fun.

~

JANINE DE LUCA: Now, during my tactical training days, I often undertook simulated exercises. For such sessions, it is vital to fully invest in the scenario. So direct your mind to accept the following field conditions: you are a bold adventurer. Having bested the mighty Abhorroghast, you have been summoned to Castle Rackthorn, a hilltop fortress. The castle's feasting hall surrounds you, a vast stone chamber lit by flaming torches. [flames crackle]

The hall is packed with frightened, wide-eyed peasants. [crowd chatters] Pushing past them to the back of the hall, you find a staircase. The man who summoned you is at the top. The staircase is a spiral of unevenly-sized stone blocks rising through a turret. You must ascend quickly.

For the next minute, run on the spot, lifting your knees as high as you can and swinging your arms. High knee running will keep your strides large enough to avoid tripping on the irregular steps. Begin. [rapid echoing footsteps] As you ascend, you pass a window. Outside, knights crowd the battlements, armor shining in the moonlight. Beyond them, a horde of gigantic spiders claw at the castle walls.

The castle was besieged shortly after your arrival. Nobody knows where the spiders hail from, though rumors say they were bred by dark magics in nearby caves. [swords clash] Maintain your pace. According to Mr. Yao's story notes, you were to join with the knights to battle the spiders while the castle evacuates before it inevitably falls, though Mr. Yao has overlooked better uses for your sword, I think.

You are nearing the top. That is one minute passed. Unfortunately, Mr. Yao has spilled tea over the notes describing the dimensions of the castle. I judge one minute to be a sound minimum for reaching the top of the stairs, but if you would like to keep running in the break, by all means consider it a reasonable addition to Mr. Yao's campaign.

~

JANINE DE LUCA: Atop the spiral staircase, there is a wooden door slightly ajar. Entering, you find a bedchamber, its walls covered by oak bookshelves. Slumped over a desk, there is a bearded man wearing thick gold chains and red velvet robes, snoring. The man is King Sigmund, the castle's cowardly ruler who has given in to despair at the spider horde, retreating into his cups. Near the king, you notice a bookcase drawn away from the wall, revealing a stone tunnel beyond, a secret passage.

You must snatch a gold chain from the king's neck. I believe the rules of the game mandate a dice roll to judge your success. [dice clatter] Ah. You successfully snatch a gold chain, but the king is woken from his drunken doze. As you dart into the secret passage, he rants - Mr. Yao specifies a Scottish accent for the king. Odd, in a world with no Scotland. Very well, for the sake of the simulation -

“Stop, blaggard! Doref, is that you? You'll never take this castle as long as I'm alive!” While you plunge through the secret tunnel, the king pulls a lever by his desk. Arrows shoot from hidden mechanisms in the ceiling above you. Listeners, balance on one foot with your knees and arms bent. Now hop to one side, landing on the ball of your opposite foot, then hop back again. One minute of side-to-side hopping will simulate you dodging your way through the tunnel. Go!

Racing down the passage, you hear the king's distant ranting descend into pitiful sobs. You continue dodging as arrows strike the floor around you. Halfway there. Mr. Yao has described the king as a vicious, petty oaf who exiled even his most trusted advisor in a fit of paranoia. The passage is lit by torches which grow fewer and fewer as you advance. Continue your evasive action. You are nearing the end.

You feel fresh air on your face. The darkness ahead must conceal an exit. The arrows have stopped. You've likely cleared the traps. You can stop dodging, though if you'd rather continue during the break, that would be a reasonable abundance of caution, given your current position.

~

JANINE DE LUCA: You emerge from the secret passage into a woodland glade far from the castle. Behind you is a scarp of stone. Before you is a group of enormous spiders, each the width of a wagon, far too large to storm the secret passage. A hundred eyes gleam under starlight and hairy mouthparts twitch. [spiders hiss and chitter]

To your left, there is a boulder. Clamber atop it quickly. Now the dimensions of these spiders are clearly laid out in Mr. Yao's creature compendium. Their abdomens are bulbous and they cannot reach their own backs. To get past, you must jump across the spiders, leaping from abdomen to abdomen.

Jumping on the spot will serve for the motion. Keep jumping for one minute, landing with your knees bent. Go. The spiders move their mouthparts in odious glee as they perceive how close you are. The spiders are trying to shake you off their backs as you move from hideous body to hideous body. Jump faster.

[dice clatter] You're halfway over the spiders. One leaps towards you, but you are able to duck it. I must admit, these dice are a fair simulator of the luck element in any engagement, though the bright colors are unnecessary. You are almost across the spiders. They hunger for your living flesh. Do not slow. One minute elapsed.

You have jumped across the spiders, landing beyond their reach, and may stop jumping. You have a fair start on the monsters, but they are giving chase. Ahead, between tall trees, you spot a river. [water flows] The river descends from a waterfall uphill and is crowded with slippery rocks. Jump onto the rocks, then leap up river toward the waterfall.

Regrettably, Mr. Yao has smeared chocolate over his notes on the local geography, so the distance to the waterfall is unclear. To compensate, please keep jumping for as long as you can manage in the coming break.

~

[water flows]

JANINE DE LUCA: You near the waterfall. The spiders are some way behind, slipping on the rocks. Approaching the fall, you cast the king's gold chain into the water. Abruptly, the waterfall sweeps aside, revealing a cave. According to Mr. Yao, the fall is a water elemental which guards the cave, but has a weakness for glittering treasure. Your offer has bought passage. Rather reminds me of bribing enemy patrols with bullion in the Caucasus.

Unfortunately, the elemental is too impressed by the offering. Suspecting you have more gold, it summons a wave to wash you under the river. As you enter the cave, you hear a great rush of water coming from ahead. You climb the cave wall to your right. There is a crack in the wall just below the cave roof with a thin ledge opposite. You can wedge your feet in the crack and lean on the ledge.

Adopt a plank position, lying on your front with your weight on your forearms and toes. Hold that for one minute from now. [wave splashes] The first wave washes over your head and you're almost swept away. Hold on! The wave washes through the cave, seemingly endless. Hold fast. Now the first wave has passed, your perch is just above the water line. The wave is still coming. Fortunately, it washes away the spiders chasing you as they enter the cave. Water is still rushing below you, but you can feel the wave waning. Maintain the plank!

The wave has died down, leaving only puddles in the cave. The elemental should be too tired to summon another, but feel free to plank a little longer in the break, just in case. Otherwise, climb down and rest. The dark cave lies ahead, beckoning, for this is the cave system the spiders hail from, and deep within its heart, you are sure to find their master.

~

JANINE DE LUCA: Deep within the caves in a dank cavern filled with luminous blue moss, you discovered a hunched figure in a black cloak sitting amid a circle of giant arachnids, all bent in supplication. The figure has long dark hair and many jeweled rings. He is Doref, the king's chief warlock and most trusted adviser. Plainly, he commands the spiders.

Mr. Yao describes Doref's treachery as shocking, which is naive. In my experience, political advisors are often complicit in coup d'etat. In any case, Doref sees you and shoots to his feet. There is a glowing shard of crystal cupped in his hands. He whispers to it and the spiders charge. You must fend them off.

[spiders hiss and chitter]

Since it is doubtful many listeners will have a sword to hand, one minute of punching air will suffice to simulate combat. Begin punching now. The spiders reel from your blows. but Doref seems confident of victory. Doref mocks you. “For too long, I have schemed to overthrow that cowardly king. I won't let you stop me now! Rip and tear, my spiders!” Unhelpfully, Mr. Yao has simply specified “evil voice” for the warlock. I trust that was a fair attempt. [dice clatter] However, the dice are against you. Few spiders lie slain. Keep fighting. As Doref whispers to his crystal, more spiders appear from the shadows. Clearly, the crystal controls them.

You have survived one minute and bought yourself a temporary reprieve, but spiders keep coming. As you rest, a horizontal column of water comes crashing into the cavern, thrashing like a snake. [water splashes] It is the water elemental, still seeking your life. Thinking swiftly, you point at Doref’s crystal, and the elemental, entranced by the shine, descends upon it. Quickly, while Doref is distracted, aim your sword at the crystal and throw it. [dice clatter] A 20, excellent! Your sword smashes the crystal from Doref's hand while he gapes at the elemental. The crystal shatters, releasing an explosion of incandescent magical energy.

Around you, the cavern begins to shake and collapse. To your left, you spot a tunnel to the surface. As you flee, Doref leaps to follow, but the rings on his fingers have caught the elemental's attention and a tendril of water drags him back into the collapsing cavern. You have nearly escaped, but if you'd like to keep exercising over the break, feel free to strike an additional spider or two as you climb toward the surface.

~

SAM YAO: Hey folks, it's Sam here. Janine was called off on urgent business, so she asked me to take over the broadcast. I've been busy baking in the kitchens, but she's left a note to catch me up.

“Dear listeners, begin cooldown jogging. Congratulations! Many of you have confirmed completion of the simulation via ROFFLEnet. Your character has escaped the collapsing caves and the warlock has been crushed behind you. With the crystal gone, the spider horde is scattered. Castle Rackthorn has been saved and the villain slain, far more efficiently than in Mr. Yao’s planned story.”

I don't... are these... are these my D&D notes? Oh no! No! You're not supposed to get to Doref yet! All the obstacles... it's supposed to be impossible! That can't... how did you get past the spiders? [sighs] Listeners, I think um... yeah, I think we're going to have to end the session here. It's about time anyway, which is good because uh... because it-it looks like I've got some major rewriting on my hands. Oh boy. [sighs] Janine, what have you done?

~

[thyra279]

High Hopes

For Day 4 of the Good Omens Celebration 2020.

Prompts: “Force” and “fruit” (this one got away with me but I’m gonna post it here for consistency as well as on Ao3.

On a warm autumn's day in 2005, Aziraphale's mobile phone rang out the same jarring electronic jingle 72 times before he managed to locate it behind an old bookcase full of A Breefe History of Northern Shropshire, vol. 1-281. Pushing the bookcase aside, he dusted off the little black-and-white screen and fixed it with a hard stare. The mobile, which had been firing off its jingles increasingly furiously, grew soft and mellow on the 73th ring, and Aziraphale turned his attention to the Nokia's caller.

"Hullo, Crowley. You know, I never should have let you talk to into getting me this portable telephone, it keeps moving about and hiding itself in the-"

"Aziraphale." Oh. Crowley's voice sounded harsh, which wasn't unusual, but also very noticeably strained, which was.

"Are you alright, dear?"

"Uhhrm…"

"Crowley? Whatever's the matter?"

"I've… I've been arrested."

"Have you, now?" Aziraphale let out a relieved little chuckle and sat down in his favourite chair. It was nothing the demon hadn't tried before. Keep at shadowy, nefarious business long enough, and it was bound to happen. He'd lost count of how often Crowley had found himself jumbled up with the police.[1]

Aziraphale himself had found himself come into too close contact with London's various police forces a few times since their invention. He usually encountered the Mets, though he had a soft spot for The City of London Police and carried out his substitute demonic temptations within their Square Mile if he could help it. Politicians and bankers were soft targets. Besides, the City Police always served up bourbon biscuits during their questioning. The angel idly wondered if Crowley had been served up any biscuity treats during his questioning and before being hit with an embarrassing pinch of jealousy.

"When'll you be done, do you reckon? You could come over for wine and commiserations later, perhaps? I think a Chateau Cheval should do quite nicely." He lifted a hand to play with the phone cable, then remembered it wasn't there. "…Bring some biscuits."

"It'saaah. It's a little more complicated than that, I'm afraid."

"What's the problem?"

"Nfffhhh well, I've been in here for coming up two weeks for starters." Aziraphale sat up.

"Crowley, are you- are you in jail?"

"I, uh. Yeah."

"Well, get out of there!"

"Told you it was complicated."

"Do you need me to, ah, to come and get you?"

There was an interesting kind of silence at the other end. "Angel, are you offering to come and break me out of jail?"

"I'm an angel, I do not break anyone out of jails," Aziraphale deadpanned with the practice of several centuries. "It would be a rescue."

"Well, it won't work. I mean, it would work. I could easily get out of here, that's not the issue. Wouldn't solve the actual problem."

"What is the problem then?"

"It's erhhh…"

Aziraphale shifted in his seat, growing a little impatient. "Where are you? What happened?"

The demon sighed. "I'm at Dartmoor Prison. Got arrested near Torquay."

"What were you doing in Cornwall of all places?"

"I… well. I've got a piece of land near Torquay, in a nice deserted place. Thought it'd be out of the way enough. It's quite a big piece of land, really. Massive, actually."

The angel couldn't suppress another tut. "What would you need a massive piece of land for, Crowley?"

"I, ah, I built a farm." Aziraphale could sense the demon's embarrassment pulsing down the line. He himself was caught entirely off guard at the aggressively urbanite yuppie's confession, but tried to sound accepting.

"Oh. Right. What do you do with it, as it were?"

"I grow… things."

"Yes, well-"

"Mainly weed."

"…What?"

"Marijuana, Angel."

"Yes, I know what weed is, thank you." For the second time, Aziraphale felt a rush of relief. "That's alright, then, isn't it? I'm sure growing illegal cannabis is a perfectly acceptable demonic activity. I assume that's why you were arrested?"

"Yup." For a moment, a hint of pride entered the demon's voice. "I've grown lots of it. Don't know if you saw the newspapers last Monday? Apparently, there was quite a big buzz about it being the second largest marijuana plant ever discovered in the UK?"

"Oh, yes," Aziraphale crooned. He hadn't so much as looked at an earthly newspaper for several months, but he didn't like to dampen the demon's (evil) spirits when he was already down. "It all sounded terribly impressive."

"Hnghyeah, well. The coppers said so themselves, actually. They only got a preliminary sweep of the place done, though, before I set my lawyers on them. We've been fighting their warrant. It's been good fun, actually, lots of frustrations all around. Easy job for my side, you know. And we always get bonus points on our job performance for getting lawyers involved. You know I can really use the, erh, goodwill this'll generate downstairs, it'll sort me out for the next few years."

Aziraphale nodded absentmindedly, which Crowley seemed to understand.

"Unfortunately, even my bastard lawyers and enough money to bribe a small state haven't been able to get the judge to drop the warrant. So according to the lawyers, Cornwall's righteous police force, narcotics division, will be able to do a full sweep of the farm some time the day after tomorrow."

"And why exactly is that a problem?" The angel offered when Crowley fell quiet. He was met with a great, heaving sigh loud enough to hear through the telephone line.

"The thing is." The demon drew a breath, then let it out again through hissing teeth. "The thing is. The weed farm's a front."

"…What?"

Crowley sounded flustered now, voice straining again with every word. "It's a front. The cannabis. 'S a cover."

"Why would you… what were you… what in Heaven's name are you doing that's so terrible that you thought a cannabis plantation would serve as an appropriate cover-up, Crowley?"

"Well, well hnghfff. Look, I can't tell you over the phone, I've got a reputation to maintain, alright? Anthony J. Crowley's been going strong since the war, and, and- don’t really want to let him go. Just. Just go out there tomorrow – I know you've got nothing on, don't even start – and get rid of the evidence for me. No, nah, leave the weed crops. But there's a barn. A green barn in the middle of it all. Burn it, please. Maybe don't look inside it, but – eurgh – s'fine if you have to. I don't care how you do it, but get rid of everything in there."

Aziraphale hesitated, more shaken by Crowley than he'd been for a good fifty years.

"I'm, erh, I don't really know, Crowley, I think you should tell me-"

"Aziraphale, please. Please, Angel." Crowley never begged.

"Oh. Oh, alright then." There was a rush of demonic relief down the phone.

"Tha-"

"Don't."

"Look, I'll make it up to you, alright. Whatever you want. Tell you what, I'll buy you sushi at that stuck-up little Japanese place you like so much, every bloody month for the next decade. If you want."

"Alright," Aziraphale huffed.

The demon started to sound slightly more like himself. "I'll throw in a good sake and dessert too if you promise never to bring this up ever again."

"I'll have to see for myself how bad this is, Crowley, before I make good on that promise."

"Fair, that's fair. Just please, Angel, 's no big deal, okay? It was just a little lapse of judgement. Here's how to get to the barn…"

And so, the very next day, the Principality found himself wandering down a dirt track in Cornwall, sore and irritable after hours on overnight public transport and more nervous than he'd care to admit at what he might have agreed to. The stench of the marijuana greeted him long before the greenhouses even became visible. A single police car was parked further down the track at the main entrance to the farm, so on reaching the edge of it, he looked casually left and right before dipping below the police tape. No one noticed him, and he quickly disappeared between row after endless row of huts and greenhouses.

The place was like a labyrinth – literally – and he had to rely on Crowley's instructions to find its centre. The air hummed with the insistent song of thousands of heat lamps. Aziraphale was beginning to suspect that he wasn't entirely immune to the charming waft of cannabis in the hot air around him when suddenly, there it was, a singular old green barn. It was singing at him. Aziraphale wasn't entirely certain he wasn't hallucinating it, but it felt sturdy enough beneath his grasp when he tore the heavy padlock away from the door. The door rattled irately at him, but at least the barn stopped singing.

He hesitated, one hand on the door. Crowley had always taken care, he suspected, to hide the darker sides of his demonic activities from him. He wasn't at all sure he wanted to be privy to them. Unbidden scenes of blood and chains and fires and screams sidled into his mind, finally breaking through the defences he'd constructed as soon as he'd put down the phone last night. He didn't want to know. And yet, he'd promised. He was an angel, and Crowley needed his help, and he'd promised.

Here goes, he thought, allowing himself a deep, steadying gulp of air (and wasn't that lovely, the sweet heady rush that came with it) before pushing the door aside.

Aziraphale blinked. Then blinked again. He blinked a total of 15 times before he entered.

Aziraphale had tried very hard not to imagine all the sinister things he might find in the middle of Crowley's marijuana plot. Even if he'd given himself over to pondering every possibility, he wouldn't have expected this.

The barn was lit up by the same warm, red glow as the rest of the farm. A few dusty skylights gave the room a sense of space that it didn't quite deserve. The air smelt sweet in here too, but it wasn't the pungent suffocation of the cannabis. No, in here, the air hummed with unexpected freshness, with the heady, delicious scent of fruit. There they were, lined up along the walls, a few peach trees, lemons, pears and berries – roses and apple trees too. All ripe, ready for the picking.

The fruit trees couldn't keep his attention, however. In the middle of the room was a little meadow full of wildflowers, bursting with colour. Bees whipped around from stem to stem, and towering over them all, stretching towards the skylights, were the tallest sunflowers Aziraphale had ever seen.

It was beautiful. An age went by while Aziraphale explored the flowers, overcome with surprise at their maker as he smelt, touched and tasted his way through the barn. He senses Crowley in every petal, in every lush green leaf, and couldn't stop himself from lying down in the middle of the meadow, giant sunflowers watching over him. He imagined Crowley here, sneaking in to do the same. It seemed absurd, the smooth, black hardness of Crowley in the middle of this colourful, buzzing force of life. Aziraphale ached to see him here, almost imagined that he could.

The skylights had gone dark above him by the time he got up. Only once on the other end of the barn, he faced what he'd come here to do. It seemed a terrible tragedy, and yet he'd made a commitment to Crowley.

With a great sigh, he lowered his trusty satchel from his shoulder, taking out a stack of little brown bags that hadn't been in there a moment before. He went around the meadow again, caressed every flower, letting it know how beautiful it was. He persuaded even the looming sunflowers to bend down and let go of a few of their seeds. Then he rounded on the fruit trees, trusty tartan tin in hand, and picked a single piece of fruit from each and every one and a little prickly cutting from every rose.

Satchel in hand, the angel took one final look at Crowley's dirty secret, this micro-paradise he'd hidden away. Then he snapped his fingers and sent it all to somewhere he hoped was good, somewhere with fresh air and a warming sun, and just enough rainfall. He didn't notice the extra weight of his bag, and he kept it close, held it in his lap on the sleepy train back to London. Only once he made it safely back to the bookshop did he let go, taking care to count each and every brown bag, folding out their creases and speaking to them gently, as if the plants could still hear him.

He spent the next two weeks drying out the fruit until they let go of their precious cores, and when it all was ready, he put it all in the best firesafe and airtight container he could find.

The container found a new home behind a bookcase full of A Breefe History of Northern Shropshire, and it survived a fire, the apocalypse and the layers of dust that settled over it in the years after that.

Aziraphale never mentioned a word to Crowley, enjoying plenty of sushi, sake and dessert for his efforts.

He carefully guarded the little seedlings until a day, very far into the future indeed, after yet another war, when the angel casually floated the idea of the two of them acquiring a little cottage together somewhere outside of London and the demon scoffed in his face at such a ridiculous suggestion. Somewhere, perhaps, with a nice little garden that Crowley might take care of. He had just the thing to get it started.

[1] Some time during a dull few years in the 1970s, Aziraphale had gifted him a scratch map of the UK counties, instructing the demon to scratch off every county he'd been arrested in. Last time the angel had seen it, sometime during 2003, two thirds of the map had been revealed.

Link for the other (shorter) stories on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24037873/chapters/57837565 

[1980s-robin]

billy hargrove x reader

pairing: billy hargrove x fem!reader | steve harrington x best friend reader

fandom:  stranger things

requested: yes

summary: reader and steve harrington have been inseperable best friends since the begining of middle school. while nothing more than platonic occurs between the two of them, when billy hargrove enters the situation he develops feelings for reader and grows jealous of steve and reader’s friendship. 

a/n: i really wanted to write this as gender neutral, but since it is the 80’s i feel like the only relationship rumors that woud begin would be male/female because i just feel like people were less… understanding that lgbt people exist. also, i know billy is a year younger than steve however for the purpose of this story they’re the same age. also posted on my wattpad @/chiefhargroves

warnings: angst, fluffy ending, mentions of the word sex however no smut or implied smut. 

word count: 1.7k

Everyone in Hawkins High School knew that (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and Steve Harrington were best friends. From the first day of middle school, the two of them were essentially inseparable, they were always seen together, always sitting together, in fact, it was rumored that they even bribed some of the teachers to let them work together on projects with assigned partners. 

However, a friendship that is so close comes with its fair share of rumors. When people see Steve and (Y/N) together many of their fellow schoolmates begin to think that the two of them were together and romantically involved. Steve and (Y/N) had both shot down these rumors more than once, however not everyone listens to either of them, in fact, most people just think that they’re lying. People have been accusing them of being together since they were both fourteen years old. Every single day when they were in school, one or the other would hear someone giggling about how they’re “probably together” but neither of them let it bother them. Truth be told, there were no romantic feelings between the two. They were such close friends, that they didn’t see each other as more than that, and so they wouldn’t let some random people dictate whether or not they could be close. 

Things changed the year Billy Hargrove entered himself into the situation, Steve and her and become more and more involved with other friend groups, namely younger friend groups based around Steve being friends with Dustin. But, Max was one of these people and with her, (Y/N) met her brother Billy. Billy was the same age as (Y/N), but he also hated her best friend Steve as well as her new friend group. She tried to strike up a friendship with him nonetheless. Just about anyone who spent more than an hour could tell that Billy had some personal things going on in his life, and (Y/N) wasn’t blind enough to not be able to see this about him. She wanted him to have a friend, and after a while he started opening up to her, slowly. 

Despite the newfound friendship, it seemed like there was something making Billy distant from her, maybe it was his past and what was going on in his personal life. But she also had a feeling that it could have been something else, something about her.

Regardless of her suspicions, the year continued and Billy and (Y/N) continued their friendship, much to the dismay of the kids and Steve. She tried time and time again to explain that she wasn’t choosing him over them and that she would never do that. But a lot of them just didn’t want to listen to her, most of them just didn’t want her to be friends with Billy however some of them were able to figure out that (Y/N) had some more than friendly feelings for the boy. They just didn’t want her to get hurt, Steve mainly didn’t want her to get hurt since he really didn’t trust Billy. Max was a bigger supporter than the others, she thought that (Y/N) was good for Billy, she was just glad that he was starting to open up to someone. 

Once summer began, things changed for her. (Y/N) got a job at Scoops Ahoy with Steve and Robin, meaning that most of her days were spent working with Steve while Billy was working as a lifeguard at the pool. The two of them had their nights to spend together, however, after the first week into June Billy started acting rather different towards her. She had no idea why he would be acting as distant as he was, she had no idea that he was jealous of her being with Steve so often. He knew they were close friends, however, some part of him just wanted her to himself but was too afraid to say anything about it to her, or anyone really. 

On (Y/N)’s first day off of the week, she decided that she would go and visit Billy at work since she had a good idea of when his shift started. (Y/N) bought a cute, but expensive, swimsuit from one of the stores in the mall, and made her way to the public pool. She wasn’t too keen on being so surrounded by people, but she didn’t want to lose her friendship with Billy. As she made her way in, she noticed that Billy was just climbing the tower, he must have just started his shift. But, she wasn’t blind to the eyes of the older women on Billy, a glare setting in, one that she tried to push away as she decided to just sit down on the edge of the pool. Almost immediately, she felt eyes on her. (Y/N) moved to glance at Billy, sending a wave and a smile his way. Billy waved back, but there wasn’t much of a smile. 

That’s when the self-doubt set in when she started to question whether or not it was a mistake to come to the pool. Maybe Steve was right, maybe he wasn’t interested in her. Maybe he wouldn’t be good for her to be with. The girl’s eyes dropped, gazing at the pool as she fought the tears that were urging themselves to come out. But she wouldn’t let that happen, she was not going to cry about Billy Hargrove, and if she was it was going to be in the privacy of her bedroom over a pint of ice cream. 

So the young girl stood up, grabbing her towel and hugging it tight to her body and beginning to walk back to her car, well, she was speed walking back to her car. The second she reached her car and sat down in the driver’s seat, the tears started to stream. God, she felt like an idiot. He had stopped talking to her as much, wasn’t eager to see her, hell even Max stopped talking to her. Probably because she felt awkward talking to someone who her brother disliked. 

The rest of the day carried on that way, it’s not like she could go to any of her friends. (Y/N) was embarrassed that she had developed feelings for someone who didn’t reciprocate them in the first place. It would only make it worse to visit people who had told her from the beginning that she wasn’t going to get anywhere with that boy, that if they did do anything it would be sex and nothing else. Thankfully, her parents were on vacation for the week, so she had the house to herself meaning that she didn’t have to hide away in her bedroom. 

It was around nine pm when she heard a knock on her door. “One minute!” She called, grabbing a mirror from next to her to make sure she didn’t look like she had been crying. Satisfied with how she looked, (Y/N) moved to answer the door. Much to her surprise, she found Billy. “What?” She asked, rather bluntly. She had been crying about him all night, it’s not like she was pleased to see him at her doorstep. “I’m sorry that I upset you at the pool. I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you.” Billy started, which caught her off guard, in all the time she had known Billy he hadn’t once apologized to anyone. “Come in.” She said as she moved away from the door so he had room to come in.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” She asked him, her voice quivering again but she held it back, he had apologized, she just wanted to know why. “Because I-” He cut himself off, it was as if Billy was just trying to find the right words to respond to her with. Which, he probably was. “I don’t just see you in a… uh… shit that’s not…” Billy cut himself off yet again. “I like you.” He said, looking anywhere but at the young woman standing in front of him. “Truthfully I have since we met, but you obviously like Harrington and now you’re with him every day. You won’t have time to see me soon and I just-” “Billy” She tried to stop him, which caught his attention. “Steve’s my friend, we would never be anything more than that. You have to know that.” (Y/N) said, her eyes meeting his for the first time in over a week. “God- you didn’t upset me because you ignored me for a week just because we’re friends, I’ve had friends go longer than that and not talk to me.” She said, much to his confusion.

“I don’t understand, (Y/N).” Billy said and she sighed, before going to sit on the couch, him following suit and sitting next to her. “Billy, when we started becoming friends every single person I was friends with said it was a bad idea because they didn’t see the true you, but I did.” (Y/N) started, trying to figure out how you wanted to phrase her ords. “But some of them disapproved because they could tell that I liked you… um… romantically.” She said, causing Billy’s eyes to light up. “I wasn’t upset because you were a distant friend, I was upset because I thought you didn’t want me, because we hadn’t slept together so I thought you just didn’t want to be with me, not even as a friend.” She said, but she knew she needed to continue upon seeing the hurt in his eyes. “I let their words get to me, Billy. I-I’m sorry.” (Y/N) said, waiting for his response.

“Can I kiss you?” Billy asked, after a moment of processing (Y/N)’s words. Her eyes widened, but her response was quick. “Yes.” She said before he pulled her into a kiss. It was surprisingly soft and sweet, however, there was clear underlying passion. “Billy Hargrove, will you be my boyfriend?” (Y/N) asked as they pulled away, and he quickly nodded. “Yes, but only if you let me take you out to dinner tomorrow night after you finish your shift.” To which she responded with an immediate yes.

[flailinginlove]

KakaIru Big Bang Teaser!

Three KakaIru Big Bang fics have been revealed! Go check them out if you haven’t yet!

Mine ended up being 50k (twice the minimum length ^__^;), so it’s getting split for posting. The first half will be revealed this Saturday the 16th! And the second half will be up two day later!

My goal for this was to write a trashy romance novel inspired by 1,001 Nights, and while I think it is definitely trashy, there is also a very healthy dose of found family fluff. Me writing fluff? Shocking, I know. XD

Anyway, I hope you like it! Here’s a preview of Kakashi and Iruka meeting for the first time!

Kakashi watched as his guards brought the prisoner forward, Tenzo pushing him into a bow at a respectful distance from Kakashi's chair. The man didn't fight it. Genma made a suggestive little wiggle of his eyebrow, the clear "look at this one" he saved for only the people he found the most attractive. Even Kakashi could admit that the prisoner was decent looking. For a criminal.

"This isn't the one I asked for," Kakashi said. He'd been given descriptions of the three men that had been captured, and he'd wanted to talk to one of the two that had been taken outside the palace grounds first.

"No, Sir," Tenzo replied, bowing in apology. "This is the one that broke into the grounds. He insisted we bring him, not his friends."

One of Kakashi's eyebrows rose. No one volunteered to come before him; most would happily let their friends go first. But it didn't matter, it wouldn't affect his judgment.

"What's your name?"

"Umino Iruka, Your Highness," the man said. There was a hint of nerves in his voice, but underneath that was a quiet determination.

"Umino Iruka," Kakashi said. "You have been charged with unlawfully breaking into the palace grounds for nefarious purposes. Tonight you will act as my servant. If you have not proven yourself innocent by midnight, you will be executed."

The prisoner snorted and Kakashi blinked at him. People did not snort when he said that, they fell to their knees and begged for their lives.

"I was caught in the act, red-handed. I was going to steal from your gardens. There's no proving myself innocent. I did it. I won't lie to try to save myself."

Kakashi studied him. He didn't know how to react to this. No one had ever told him the truth before, not during one of these trials. They lied, they begged, they bribed, but they never told the truth.

There was a willful, stubborn tilt to Iruka's chin that Kakashi wasn't used to seeing and it fascinated him. Everyone lowered their eyes when they spoke to him; they didn't stare straight at him with a challenge plain on their face.

Kakashi mentally shook himself. Any criminal could be honest when they thought it served them best, that didn't mean they were honest all the time. And it didn't mean they could be trusted. There were less than a dozen people Kakashi trusted, and even that trust had limits.

"You don't deny your crimes even if it means death?"

"No. I snuck into the palace grounds, I planned to steal from you. I did that. It was my actions, my decision. Mine and mine alone. Please don't punish my friends for my stupidity. They did nothing wrong. They actually tried to talk me out of it."

"But they didn't stop you, which makes them complicit. And you're willing to risk your life to save them?" In Kakashi's experience, people lied about their friends to save themselves. The friends that would die for you were few and far between, especially among thieves.

"Yes," Iruka said, still staring at Kakashi with determination. "If anyone has to die for this, it should be me and only me."

Kakashi continued to study him, until the other man shifted, clearly uncomfortable under his gaze, but he didn't back down, the challenge was still unmistakable in his eyes.

No one was that good; everyone had their price. Kakashi pushed, wanting to see how far he'd go.

"What else would you do?" he asked, voice low and suggestive. He eyed the criminal up and down and shifted his legs apart enough that someone might be able to kneel between them.

A step behind Iruka, Genma shot Tenzo a wide-eyed look, but Tenzo just shook his head.

Iruka got the suggestion loud and clear. He turned red, sputtered, then looked outraged. "Is that justice to you? Is that what you make people do to prove their innocence?"

Kakashi had to fight the urge to bring his legs back together and sit up straighter, it took effort to keep his tone cold. It’d been a long time since anyone outside his advisers had voiced disapproval of his actions, and never so emphatically. "I don’t have sex with criminals," Kakashi sneered.

"But you, what? Allow them to bribe you with blowjobs? Let them think you'll reduce their sentence if they suck you off?" Iruka’s face was still bright red with anger and embarrassment.

"No, but some offer," Kakashi said, voice casual. He didn't say that he'd never asked before, that he didn't know why he had this time. A criminal didn’t deserve that kind of explanation.

"Of course they would. Who wouldn’t to save their life?"

"You didn’t."

Iruka opened his mouth to say something then snapped it shut.

"People who think they can bribe me, with sex or other things, can be bribed themselves. They can’t be trusted."

"People do what they have to in order to stay alive."

"Exactly."

Iruka glared, Kakashi stared back. For one brief moment, Kakashi felt like he was the one who needed to prove something here, but he pushed it aside.

"You still have the rest of the night to serve me and prove your innocence."

Iruka gave him a disgusted look. "I will serve you if I must, but I have nothing to prove to you."

Kakashi shrugged his acknowledgment. "The guards will take you to the kitchen. Bring my meal." With that, he turned back to his book.

"Please," Iruka said sharply.

Kakashi looked up again. He'd heard that word quite often in these situations, but never in that tone. "What?"

"It’s what you say when you ask for something. Bring my meal, please."

Kakashi blinked after Iruka, who’d turned on his heel and walked out the door, Tenzo hurrying to catch up. After they'd left, Genma looked at Kakashi and grinned.

"Oh, I like him. Can we keep him?"

Kakashi scowled. He would not be keeping a thief, even if he did make Kakashi curious in a way no one else had in years.

People who didn't follow the laws were trash, and Kakashi wouldn't let them near the people he needed to protect. He wouldn't let himself trust anyone like that again.

~*~*~

\(^o^)/

[wondersbeyondcompare]

Twisted Wonderland OC: Majid

Wow, this was long overdue, but I finally got his basic profile together (・・;) Here, have some doodles I made of him just to get his design consistent 😆

*EDIT: I managed to get more of his backstory stuff together as well as make some minor tweaks to other parts of his profile, so I’m reblogging this again just in case anyone was interested in an update!*

***

“Don’t you dare try to wake me... You’re no diamond in the rough after all...”

Full Name: Majid Shahin

Name Meaning: Majid (“Glorious”); Shahin (“worthy of a king”) [Somehow remembered his parents giving him his first name before their disappearance; chose his last name from a bakery he was fond of back then]

Dorm: Scarabia

Year: 1st year

Birthday: May 12

Age: 16 years

Height: 5’10”/1.78 m

Place of Origin: Land of the Hot Sands

Voice Headcanon: Komatsu Shouhei

Personality: Usually seen sleeping at the entrance of the Scarabia dorm as if he were some kind of underpaid security guard (which he technically is, but he doesn’t take his job too seriously, much to the annoyance of Jamil who gave him this task in the first place). If he’s not sleeping, Majid acts mildly annoyed with everyone he meets. He acts a bit kinder towards people with a good heart or those he’s interested in observing. Majid can fulfill most tasks that are asked of him, and, of course, there has to be a bribe, but the type of bribe involved depends on the person. If a person has good intentions behind the task they’re asking of him, Majid will ask for something that is relatively easy for them to acquire; if the person has bad intentions, however, the item he asks for becomes much harder to get. However, even Majid can’t clearly define the line b/w “good” and “bad”, so sometimes his requests just depend on how he feels throughout the day. If a person tries to offer him something that doesn’t meet his standards, he will shut them down. Hard. There are times Majid will help out other people on his own initiative, but this is very rare and something he adamantly avoids doing.

He likes things like money and expensive objects, but he acts more like a collector of these items rather than actually using them as a status symbol/showing off his wealth. Somewhat like a hoarder in that aspect but this may also just be a habit he had formed while growing up. Also fond of observing certain people in order to understand their motivation behind their actions, but, honestly, if he had to choose b/w this hobby and sleep, he would much rather choose the latter. 

Likes: Naps, money, expensive items, lava lamps, honesty, warm weather, sand sculptures, his magical abilities, being secure, golden jewelry, meat, puzzles, magic carpet rides, some sweets

Dislikes: Liars, cowards, passive aggressive people, directly interacting with people in general, cold weather, whenever his Scarabia upperclassmen drag him into their shenanigans

Background: 

Majid doesn’t remember much from his childhood, but the absence of any kind of support system (both financially and emotionally) left him at a disadvantage while growing up. He would often spend his days roaming the streets in search of necessities, relying on both resources given to the homeless from certain establishments or resorting to stealing from vendors behind their backs. The orphanages in the area were far too few and poorly maintained, so Majid tried his best to avoid being picked up by the workers there in order to at least keep his freedom by staying out on the streets. 

Although the young boy was often found alone, he did at one time manage to make some friends with some of the other children in the area, tagging along on their little adventures throughout the town. This was the one time he felt like he belonged somewhere; where he was surrounded by people who actually wanted him around as much as he did with them. Unfortunately, this feeling led Majid to become overly dependent on the group, sometimes purposely delaying their adventures just so they could stay together a little longer. He didn’t really think of himself as selfish for doing this nor did he see it as something wrong. But eventually the group became fed up with these delays once it began to cause troubles with their families back home. They kicked him out of their group, admitting that they only let him join in the first place because they and their parents pitied him since he was the poor, annoyingly clingy orphan with nowhere else to go. At first Majid couldn’t believe them, desperately denying to himself that what they were saying wasn’t true, that maybe they were just saying this out of anger and everything will right itself in the morning. 

And that was when, at the worst possible time, one of his powers revealed itself to him. The ability to see into other people’s hearts. It wasn’t as if he heard an otherworldly voice telling him if they were lying or not, but rather it came as an overwhelming epiphany. He sensed every bit of their frustration with him, their anger at his actions, as well as the brutal honesty behind their words, all in a new kind of clarity. Majid couldn’t bring himself to respond at that moment, not even after they had long left him behind. Once he snapped out of his stupor, the boy tried to compose himself by carefully sorting out his thoughts and feelings about the situation, but it was no use. He felt numb. And he was alone again. Perhaps this time, for good.

Majid tentatively tested out this new power on various people around town, seeing all the different kinds of malice people held in their hearts. From lying shopkeepers to narcissistic “do-gooders”, everyone had their own hidden agenda, and young Majid could see it all in a frighteningly clear display. He developed a distrust in other people because of this and habitually used his ability whenever he felt like someone was lying to him. He became better at theft, now having less guilt while taking from the vendors because, well, they were “bad people”, so why should he care about hurting them? He was one dishonest person among many, so he wasn’t worried about spoiling the rest of the bunch if they were all rotten in the first place.

Majid didn’t start developing his other magical abilities until this one day when he caught sight of a parade marching through town. After pushing his way through the crowd, he watched in awe at the procession of dancers, musicians, exotic animals, and, at the very end, the smiling young heir of the Land of Hot Sands, just barely keeping his balance on the camel he was seated upon as he showered his excited subjects with golden coins and jewelry. Rather than becoming impressed with the parade itself, Majid admired the respect the heir was given. He knew that this respect was mostly due to the latter’s high social class, so Majid decided to aim for some other goal that would allow him to be viewed favorably by other people. To stick it to those who only saw him as pitiable and useless. In short: he wanted to become rich. 

He learned how to use his power (as well as other abilities he discovered along the way) to his advantage and often offered to do favors for people in exchange for money or other expensive objects. It was slow going, but he accumulated a lot of wealth over the years, with his living spaces resembling that of the inside of the Cave of Wonders in Aladdin. The floors were littered with gold coins, glittering gemstones, ornate vases, and many more riches beyond compare. 

Majid prided himself on his wealth at first, happy with all that he could attain with this kind of lifestyle, whether it be items or connections with those in the upper social classes. But he slowly found himself becoming bored. Majid did think of giving some of his wealth away, yet somehow he couldn’t bear to part with it. It may have been selfish of him to keep it all to himself, but this was all he had; one of the few great accomplishments in his life.  That and he had a general dislike of other people. Majid never found the need to get close to others since his ability could more or less tell him whether they were trustworthy or not. However, this led to him being unable to form any meaningful relationships with anyone else and left him feeling a whole lot lonelier than he wanted to admit. Sort of like an empty feeling in his gut that never went away. Since nothing seemed to satisfy him, Majid would often find himself sleeping his days away. The life he was living at that moment wasn’t fulfilling to him at all, so why bother staying awake all the time? He could afford to laze about a little bit too.

He stumbled upon the Night Raven College by chance… If chance involved being forced into a black coffin and carried off to the middle of nowhere only to awake in some strange castle headed by a sketchy man with a crow mask. Majid was reluctant to join at first but became intrigued at the prospect of a “magical academy”. A place where people had abilities similar to his… Now that didn’t seem boring at all. (Of course, his opinion changed upon meeting Kalim and Jamil, but at that point it was too late to back out of his enrollment 😂)

Majid does try to live up to Scarabia’s overall resourceful attitude, but he often just uses this as an excuse to find the easy way out and “conserving his energy for more important things” by sleeping all day. He’s not easily interested in his surroundings or the meaningless things people seemed to indulge in during their everyday lives. Deep down, Majid wanted something special. He didn’t know exactly what it was, but he knew it had to be something irreplaceable and brought him fulfillment. A diamond in the rough.

Powers: 

Sand Manipulation- Can create and manipulate sand; can generate sand storms; can also create quicksand out of regular sand which, if he becomes angry enough, can become strong enough to drag a person’s entire body under

Seeing Into Others Hearts- Uses this ability to figure out a person’s intentions behind their actions; won’t give him exactly what a person is thinking about, but will give him overall *ahem* vibes that come from within them (can sense if a person is lying to him through this ability); his eyes glow a little brighter when he uses this

Summoning Through Scarab Beetle- Not really a power of his own but rather a spell that was cast on his scarab beetle bracelet by his upperclassmen who became angry at him for constantly slinking out of his dorm duties; the beetle resides with the dorm leaders, Kalim, and Jamil; whenever the two halves of the beetle are joined together, Majid is teleported to wherever the beetle is; leads to some pretty rude awakenings for Majid

Lava Manipulation- Can’t actually create lava but can create an illusion of it being there; people can see and feel the effects of the lava he “creates” but it can’t physically hurt them; mentally on the other hand… that’s a different story

[jeonsduck]

Smoke and Mirrors Pt 3

warnings: san says fuck

summary: *bad day by daniel powter plays* 

“Mrow.”

You groaned, cracking your eyes open. Your cat was squatting on your chest, meowing in your ear to wake you up.

“Ugh, Noodles, my alarm hasn’t even gone off, leave me alone.” you whine, trying to push your cat away. 

But he’s persistent, not letting you go back to sleep. He prods at your face with his paw and continues to yowl until you decide to get up. You huff and kick your legs before sitting up and throwing your covers off.

“Fine! Fine! I’m up! I’ll feed you, you monster!” you gripe, and as you get up from bed you catch sight of the little clock on your bedside table. 9:15 AM. Fuck. You’re over an hour late for work already. You hadn’t bothered to set your alarm when you got in from being interrogated last night, and you’d overslept.

The panic you feel is palpable as you turn your phone over and see it’s dead. Your supervisor is going to kill you.

You rush through getting ready at lightning speed and manage to get out the door in twenty-five minutes. You put your phone on charge in the car, and you speed to work as quickly as you dare, getting a ticket would only make you later than you already were. When your phone restarted, it began buzzing with a flurry of text messages and calls, angry from your supervisor, and worried from Jacob. Oh, you’re so dead.

You manage to rush into the office before half past ten, huffing a sigh of almost relief as you set your things down at your desk. Jacob shot you a worried look at your frazzled state and your supervisor was standing in the door of her office. 

“Y/N, let’s have a little chat?” she called, disappearing into her office.

You sighed and Jacob winced for you. You straightened your hair and outfit and said a little prayer before walking into the office, closing the door behind you.

“So, had an emergency this morning, did you?” she asked, sipping a cup of coffee.

“No, ma’am, I didn’t set my alarm the night before and I overslept…. I was up very late with FBI being cross-examined-” you began to explain and she slammed the mug down on her desk.

“So, it’s Agent Heejin’s fault you were two hours late for work this morning?” she asked.

You shook your head quickly.

“No, that’s my responsibility.” You responded and she nodded.

“Yes it is. It was also your responsibility to record yesterday’s meeting with Mr. Choi, but you failed to do that too. Which is why I’ve had administration shouting me down since this morning about the incompetence of my employees.” she seethes. 

“Coming in a few minutes late? It’s fine. Messing up a couple of details on a case? No big deal. But this is two hours late, while you’re working one of the most important cases this office has ever seen. You look like an incompetent fool. Not to mention letting Mr. Choi pay for your lunch.” she said, matter-of-factly.

“What’s wrong with letting San buy me lunch?” you asked.

“Letting ‘San’ buy you lunch is wrong because if his clients are found guilty, that could be seen as a bribe, and then we’ll be investigated as well. You thought last night with the FBI was rough? I hope you enjoy sleep deprivation. And I trust I don’t have to remind you to refer to your contact as Mr. Choi?” she was obviously more furious that you had asked that question. 

Maybe you should have just waited and asked Jacob.

“Sadly for me, fourtunately for you, the higher-ups still want you on this case, but if it were up to me, I wouldn’t just pull up from this job, I’d fire you on the spot. As it is, I’ll dock your pay for half a day and you’ll lose some paid leave as well. And maybe if you stay on your best behavior for the remainder of this job, I might not terminate you once you’re done.” 

She shooed you away after that, letting you know that San was trying to contact you about the files you’d asked for the day before. You went back to your desk, where you started going over your notes of San’s clients to distract yourself. You had messed up, and yes, you deserved to be disciplined. You weren’t even that hurt about it. 

Regardless, your notes ended up with a spattering of angry teardrops on the pages of your notes. God, what were you crying for? Jacob offered you his tissue box and a sad look.

“Shut up, Jacob, I’m not in the mood.” you griped and he held his hands up in surrender.

Ugh, you hadn’t meant to snap at him too. Maybe if you hadn’t showed up for work two hours late, you could have gone and hid in the bathroom until you felt better. Sadly, you had to stick it out in your cubicle while your coworkers walked around like the office floor was a minefield. When your phone rang suddenly, you jumped at the noise and sniffled, quickly answering it.

“Hello, this is Y/N.”

“Y/N! Hey, it’s San!” San said, sounding way more cheerful than you felt he had the right to be. 

“Oh, hello Mr. Choi.” you greeted, remembering to talk more formally.

“Y/N, we went over this yesterday at lunch. Please, call me San, Mr. Choi is my father.” he sighed.

“My supervisor has reminded me its unprofessional to call you by your first name while I’m working your case.” you replied. 

Thank God her office door was closed.

“Well, your supervisor can get fucked. Call me, San.” he said, and you barely held in your snort.

“Fine, San. You got my files?” you asked. 

“Yes, I do! A whole box of them. The electronic ones are all on a USB, but you wanted original documents and well, as you know, my clients have no small amount of assets.” He said.

“Oh, I’m quite aware. I can come by and pick them up-”

“Oh no need for that! I was already leaving the office today so we’ll swing by your place and drop them off. You wouldn’t happen to be free for a late lunch today would you?” San asked.

You sighed. Lunch with San sounded kind of nice. Way better than the lunch break your were expecting to have today.

“Sorry. My supervisor has also alerted me that you buying me lunch qualifies as a bribe.” you rejected.

“Seriously? Why’s your boss such a buzzkill?” San sounded reasonably upset.

“Anyway, I’m almost there, so come on down, I’ll see you in a minute.” he said and hung up.

You made your way over to the elevators, too caught up in your own head to realize that San had called you on your cell phone, not your work line. You didn’t remember giving him the number, but you suppose you could have done it and forgotten about it. Your supervisor would probably blow her top if she found out. 

You also couldn’t recall telling San the address of your office, or that you worked on an upper floor, but he could have found that from Google. Maybe. Or maybe you mentioned that at lunch or in a phone call or in an email. You were too stressed out to really care, you probably just forgot a few details of your conversations. “Y/N, over here.” 

You looked over to where San was standing, a printer paper box in his arms and a hard shell backpack on his back. He was dressed less wildly than he had been the day before, but his shirt was still purple and leopard print, as were his pants, but they were grey in color. He set the box down when he saw you, taking in your red eyes and slightly dishevelled appearance.

“Are you okay? You look upset.” he asks.

“S’nothing. I overslept and ended up being super late for work and I was supposed to record the meeting we had yesterday, and my boss ,like, just got done ripping me a new one.” you said with a shrug.

“Did you cry?” he asked.

You flushed, hands coming up to cover your face.

“Is it that obvious?” 

“No, but if you overslept your eyes wouldn’t be that red unless you cried.” he said.

“Yeah well, its whatever. Thanks for dropping these off.” you said, reaching for the box.

“Wait!” San said, handing the box back to one of his guards.

He walked over to a bench and sat down, beckoning you over. He carefully slid his backpack off and into his lap. The backpack had a bubble window and inside you could see a Siamese cat looking out.

“This is Byul. We’re going to the vet for a check up.” he says, unzipping the backpack and taking the cat out. 

In the middle of the lobby of your place of work. But Byul meows cutely, obviously confused because this is NOT her home, but it’s also not the vet. San hands her to you and you cradle her in your arms for a second, letting some of your stress melt away. 

“Take a break. Pet the cat. You can go back up there and tackle that box of paperwork after you’ve destressed for a second, yeah?” he says, patting Byul on the head.

She meows, but in a good way.

“She’s so sweet.” You commented as San watched you pet his cat. 

You sat on the bench until it looked like Byul was getting a bit too comfortable. San put her back in the backpack, which was met with some protests.

“My guys went ahead and took the box upstairs. If you need anything else, just call me. Good luck.” he said, heading out the door. 

“Oh, and by the way, your boss sucks.” he added. 

You watched as one of the guards opened the car door for him, standing in the lobby until they drove away. Then you took a deep breath and headed back upstairs. 

Two hours into the financial records of Kim Hongjoong and you felt like you were going to tear your hair out. You could see why he looked so suspicious. He owned 51% of growing fashion houses, meaning he effectively owned the entire business. But as soon as the brand started to get some recognition and traction he jumped ship and sold all his stocks. Which often times meant he profited from the growth and bailed before taxes were due to be paid, taking huge profits and leaving other investors to handle any hits the brand might take. Not to mention his investments were routed through an investment firm that he also owned and it’s clothing company subsidiary. Basically, it was just shell company after shell company. That wasn’t all. He had money squirreled away in the Cayman Islands and Swiss bank accounts. He had tax exemptions donations, farming, industry. He even claimed Jongho as a dependent! Hongjoong had utilized tax loopholes to the full extent of the law. And while everything you’d reviewed so far was legal, it was highly suspicious. It was interesting how criminals and the bourgeoisie utilized the same methods to protect their empires. 

And even with the documents you’d asked San for, there were still holes. Not just for hundreds or thousands, but millions of dollars. You couldn’t even move on to the others until you could paint a full picture of how Honjoong’s money moved. 

Ugh, even thinking about the other six made your head ache. Their assets were so intertwined with each other, you felt like you were watching yourself walk around in circles.  

When you finished for the day, you felt no closer to understanding the big picture than when you started. You shot San an email about some more information on Hongjoong and left the office.

The next morning, your supervisor didn’t show up for work. Not good for you, because San was asking you over to his offices instead of having the both of you running back and forth across town to exchange notes.

“Just let your FBI contact know and go. If she comes in I’ll tell her I told you to go.” Jacob said, nudging you towards the door.

Heejin didn’t ask you to record, but she did ask you to report anything that seemed suspicious, and she’d follow up with you every other day with questions. It sounded like a plan to you. You gathered your thick binder of notes and your box of files and headed over to San’s offices.

The place was… different than you had expected. You had been looking for a sleek and modern corporate building, but San’s office was in a commercial suite. He didn’t run a firm, he was the sole accountant for all of his clients. That was insane.

  His secretary sat in the front room, a woman with short blue hair and an intricate tattoo winding up her arm.

“Are you Y/N?” she asked.

“Yes, you’re Jasmine?” you confirmed, but she shook her head.

“No, I’m Keran. Jasmine got transferred last week.” she said. 

Before you could ask what transferred meant, San came out the back door, Byul weaving between his feet. He brought his cat to work?

“Y/N! Great you’re here. We don’t have a lot of space here, but I had the guys set you up a desk in the file room, so everything is there is you need any forms or anything. But if you get too claustrophobic in there, we can move you to the breakroom or something.

“Oh, I be fine in the file room. Thanks again for letting me set up here.” you said as San lead you down a narrow hallway.

“Oh don’t mention it! The bathroom is the second door on the left and feel free to call if you need anything, or Byul won’t move off of your laptop.” he said with a smile.

At the sound of her name, Byul meowed. You and San both chuckled and you leaned down to scratch her on the head. She headbutted your leg and San happily watched you play with his cat.

Working in the file room was way easier. If you were missing a form you could get it yourself, San was extremely organized. He was also nice enough to bring you coffee from time to time. Really, he was such an angel.

The next day your boss wasn’t back, and after checking in with Heejin and Jacob you went back to San’s to continue working. And she still wasn’t back the day after that. On the fourth day her family reported here missing. After her leave ran out, the administration appointed a new supervisor for your department. He confirmed you to work from San’s offices for the duration of the case, meaning you didn’t have to check in at the office everyday before heading over to his building. 

You never did see that first supervisor again. No one did. You wondered what had happened to her, and you still didn’t know, even now. But something told you you didn’t want to know where she was.

[meat-husband]

Yeah, ok, I’m giving in. Vincent Sinclair is added to the list of characters I write for :p Since I’ve got six of them now, if an ask doesn’t specify which ones they want, I’ll just pick four to write for. And I’m going to limit the number of characters to four per ask, just so it’s easier to get through things. Only new asks will include Vincent, so if there is something already submitted, I’m writing it for the characters I did when it was sent. 

So, like usual, here’s the NSFW and Fluff Alphabet asks below the cut!

NSFW HC

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He’s just as worn out as you, so it’s mostly just laying together and catching your breath. He likes to spend a while just holding you and calming down, playing with your hair and humming into your ear quietly. 

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

If he absolutely had to make a choice, he wouldn’t be able to complete his work without his skilled hands. 

It’s not really a body part, but he likes your smile best. It’s always been rare for anyone to show him any sort of positivity or affection, so he loves to see that sort of thing from you, especially if he’s the one to make you smile. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He doesn’t really care himself, but he’s not pulling out once he gets going, so if that’s not what you want, you’re going to have to plan around it. This also means that you might want to get your hands on some sort of birth control, if that’s a concern. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s been spying on you from the moment you entered the house, and there are more than a few peepholes that look into your room. He isn’t all that subtle about it either, so you figure out really quickly what that strange noise is on the other side of the wall. He absolutely still uses them, even once you’re a couple, but at that point it’s usually just to check in without disturbing you, rather than trying to see something he shouldn’t. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s definitely had the chance to look at and explore other bodies, but they weren’t exactly alive. So he knows the anatomy, but other than that all he knows are things he’s managed to pick up from his brother’s foul talk and whatever he can find in the books around the house. Overall, he knows enough to get by on instinct, but you’ll have to give him the details. 

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Anything where he’s behind you, preferably laying over you and pushing you into the pillows and mattress. also lets him comfortably remove the mask and not have to worry about you trying to peek while he’s distracted. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He’ll follow your lead, but it’s usually a sort of mix between the two. He’s rougher than you would think, using his size to move you around or keep you from squirming too much, and will surprise you by taking charge and putting you in whatever position he wants you in. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He’s generally pretty clean, except for his hands and clothes, which will always have wax, paint or ink on them. But when he gets busy, he tends to ignore cleaning up, so he will go days at a time without a shower unless you push him to. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He’s not very confident but even Vincent is pretty sure that he’s got the romantic stuff down - he’s seen all the old movies and read quite a few harlequin novels, so he feels like he’s got a good grasp on that part of things. Unfortunately, he really, really does not have it down, and it comes off as more creepy than anything at first. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation head canon)

Usually he just tries to focus on something else and ignore it, but will ultimately give in. He’d rather not get caught, so the whole basement gets locked down. Once you’re an item, though, he’s not shy about approaching you rather than taking care of it himself. Make it clear that waking you up is a no-no, or he’ll be sneaking into bed and interrupting your sleep a few times a night. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Absolutely loves giving oral, but anything that requires him to take off the mask requires a lot of trust before he’ll actually do it. Has a thing for touching you while you’re sleeping, trying to see how far he can get before you wake up, then pretending to be asleep once you’re awake and wondering what you were dreaming about. 

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Privacy is the most important thing, so wherever it happens, he wants to be sure there’s not going to be anyone else around. Usually that means downstairs, but if the rest of the house happens to be empty, that’s not off limits. You’ve snuck out a few times to drive around, and there’s nowhere more private than the truck in the middle of nowhere. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

He’s a little voyeuristic and likes secretly watching you, even if you’re not doing anything particularly exciting. Loves when you kiss or bite at his neck, especially if you leave marks - lay on top of him with your mouth on his throat, so he can grind against you while you mark him up. He can’t deal with the teasing his brothers give him for it, so he usually hides the marks afterwards. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Very much not into any kind of humiliation, degradation or anything negative, regardless of who it’s directed at. Things that are very rough or violent, like choking, biting or hard spanking, is a big, big no. He doesn’t want to leave any lasting marks, so anything that produces more than a small bruise isn’t going down. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

It’s a long process when you’re the one giving, because he just can’t not push up into your mouth. He tries not to, but you end up choking a lot anyways, and it’s a lot of starting and stopping while you try to catch your breath. It will take a while before he’ll return the favor, but once he’s comfortable with it, it’s one of his favorite things and he’ll ignore his own needs if it keeps his head between your thighs. 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc.)

He’s surprisingly aggressive sometimes, but not necessarily rough, holding you down and rutting into you desperately. You do have to stop him from trying to go at it as fast as possible, but the only time he takes it slow naturally is when he’s sleepy or just waking up. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’s fine with whatever he can get, and so long as you’re both satisfied at the end, he doesn’t really care much how long it took to get there. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

As far as trying new things, he’ll try out almost anything you suggest. He’s less open to anything that might get you discovered, but you’ve been caught off guard more than once by a hand grabbing at you under the dinner table. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He’s never ready to stop, but despite that he still has to eventually. Even when he’s done and tired, he’ll keep working you with his hands unless you make him stop. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Not likely, unless you happen to sneak in a few purchases while you’re in the next town over. You wouldn’t dream of asking Bo, but you could probably convince Lester to go into some of the seedier stores for you, so long as you bribe him for it. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He doesn’t really have the confidence to tease you. No matter how many yes’s he gets, he’s always sure the next time it’s going to be a no, so he doesn’t want to push it. Teasing him just turns him into a flustered mess for the rest of the day, and he’ll be too embarrassed about it to seek you out, so you’ll have to go hunt him down. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Louder than you would think, he makes a lot of noise for someone who rarely speaks. He curses under his breath, whispers to you, and only gets louder the closer he gets. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random head canon for the character of your choice)

He’s good at just about any skill he tries, and not just the artsy ones. He’s just as good, if not better, than either of his brothers when it comes to cars and machinery, but he tends not to practice those skills because he knows Bo would be touchy about it. He’s also taught himself bits of other languages, but he’s not fluent in any of them. 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive)

He’s never going to say no, so usually he just goes along with your preferences. You can always tell when there’s a slow down in work, because he’s practically attached to you 24/7 when he doesn’t have anything to do. 

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 

It usually doesn’t take long, because once you get him comfortable he’s out almost immediately. But even if he is tired, there’s always something he has to tend to eventually, so if he does fall asleep, it isn’t for long. You can pry a few more minutes out of him if you’re stubborn enough, but he’ll have to deny you sooner or later, or risk letting something go wrong in the workroom. 

Fluff HC

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

There’s something that draws his interest and keeps you alive in the first place, something that separates you from the others that he’s seen in the same position and not shown mercy to. Part of it is your physical appearance because he’s attracted to you from the beginning, but the other part of it could really be anything. 

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?) Honestly, he’s not sure and would probably stay on the fence until you push him one way or the other. He doesn’t have a strong desire for a traditional family like his twin does, but he’d almost be scared of achieving that before Bo. He wouldn’t be unhappy at the opportunity, but he would be very unsure about it. 

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

He’s very stiff at first, letting you climb all over and get comfortable, and making no move to do anything but let you. As he gets more used to it he will finally relax and put his arms around you without prompting, but he still starts out a little awkwardly each time. It’s easiest when he’s half asleep and too tired to be nervous about where or how he’s touching you. 

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

There’s not a lot that can be done, being limited to the house, museum and basements. Anything in the house is likely to be interrupted by one brother, if not both, and you’ve seen the museum a hundred times. He isn’t supposed to leave the house, but he’ll sneak out with you for walks or short drives through the woods. 

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))

You are just for him and only for him. It’s hard to tell at first, but he’s very jealous and possessive. Ideally, he’s the only person you would ever need or rely on, so he tries to manipulate things to turn it in that direction. At the same time, he knows that’s not realistic, but he’s always going to have a nagging feeling that you’re going to be taken away. 

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

It hits him pretty early on, and he’s quickly at the edge of obsession. He’s almost passive-aggressive about it, sometimes following you around and desperate to get your attention, then spending two whole days ignoring you. He assumes there’s going to be no interest on your side, so he switches rapidly between giving up hope and being determined to try anyways. Unfortunately, he tends to go about flirting in rather unusual ways, so he comes off very creepy for the longest time. But you’re his, Bo said he could keep you, and as far as he’s concerned, this is already a committed relationship. 

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Gentle is usually his default, especially with you. Mostly it comes from being unfamiliar with touch and used to being pushed away, so it’s more hesitation and insecurity than gentleness. He’s skittish when it comes to touching you, pulling at your sleeve to get your attention and ask permission first. 

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

It’s one of the few physical touches he’s completely comfortable with, and he’s always happy to have you reach for his hand, so long as he’s not working. He’s more shy about reaching for yours, so he’ll keep getting close and then backing off until you take charge and just grab his hand. 

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

He’s very much a love at first sight kinda guy, so he’s pretty much wrapped around your little finger from the start. That comes in handy when you’re trying to keep from being made into a living sculpture, but he isn’t the one who gets to decide if you stay or not. You’ve got to charm both brothers if you want to keep living, so good luck with that. 

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Insanely jealous of just about everyone and everything. Victims, his brothers, that book you’re reading, the dog, anything that you give even the smallest amount of attention to burns him. He feels guilty about it, so he never really acts on it, but sometimes the realization hits him that you could so easily do without him, and he hates knowing that you aren’t as dependent on him as he is on you. 

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

You are going to go a long, long time before you get to kiss anything but the mask. But he definitely goes in for the first kiss, probably well before you’ve graduated from your starting role as a hostage, so the first one is rather tense. Once you’re happy with your place with him, you’re the one coming to him for kisses. 

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

He can speak, although he doesn’t do it often. But he’s much more comfortable with telling you how he feels than showing it physically, so he is definitely going to be the one who says it first. It’s also probably very early into anything romantic, so before you’re even sure if you want to pursue anything, he’s already busting out the I love you’s. 

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

The first time you really smiled at him, and he doesn’t even really remember why you were smiling. It was nothing like the weak, shakey smiles with trembling lips and frightened eyes that you used to give him, and it was the first time he had seen anything warm or kind from you. 

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

It’s rare to bring home anything that didn’t come from an unfortunate traveler, and Vincent never really leaves the house, but they’ve got a whole town full of junk and you can have first pick. He likes to go through everything first and try to find the best things before you do so that he can present them to you. He will try and get one of the brothers to bring something back from town every once in a while, but they don’t usually follow through. 

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Soft, dreamy colors, usually warm ones. You spend a lot of time downstairs with him, where the lighting is mostly orange and red hued from all the candles, and it’s how he pictures you in his mind. 

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

He doesn’t really have any for you, at least none that he’s said to you before. Loves it when you use sweet names for him, though, and that’s the quickest way to get his attention if he’s not completely focused on what you’re saying. You can get just about anything from him if you use the right pet name. 

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

Most of what they own is non-modern, but ignoring the obvious things, he has a small collection of foreign coins that’s he’s found on travelers. They might not actually be old so much as strange, but he’s always sure to search through change in case there’s another oddly shaped coin to be found. 

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Rain doesn’t make much of a difference when you’re almost always inside. Sometimes the basement at the house floods, but other than that, he just goes about the day as usual. It does mean that everyone is stuck at home, though, and it can be a volatile atmosphere having the three of you cooped up together. 

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

He doesn’t do much to help himself, he just sort of wallows in misery for a while until he has to get back to work. He’s busy enough that it doesn’t happen too often, but any moment of calm will usually lead to a few days of moping around. 

He learned long ago that there isn’t much reason in trying to cheer up his brother, but he still tries. Most of the time it just makes the situation worse, but he can’t just leave it. He’s used to being rebuffed, so if he tries it on you he’s ready to be turned away, and it’s a nice surprise to have his attempts be appreciated for once. 

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

His voice is quiet and raspy, and you’re almost sure that it causes him some amount of pain to speak, so you’re happy to play charades most of the time. You talk or read out loud as he works, and when you’re speaking together, he will sometimes provide short, one word sentences if he can’t properly get it across otherwise. 

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Just doing nothing. There is always more work to be done on something, so there is no end to the number of tasks he has waiting on him. Being able to just zone out, lay in bed and not have to get up is a luxury, but it’s the best way to get him to wind down. He likes to have you read to him when he gets the chance to do so, whatever book is closest, and fall asleep listening to you. 

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?) 

The only thing he’s really proud of is the work he does, and it’s pretty much all he’s ever been complimented on before. He’s glad to show off his artistic skill, but if you happen to praise literally anything else - how nice his hair looked that day, what a good job he did helping with dinner - he will go out of his way to do it again, as often as possible, and soak up the positivity. 

W = Wedding (When, how?)

Oddly enough, Bo is going to be the one pushing for a wedding before anyone else. He switches between being the proud brother to a jealous, angry mess, but it’s still going to come down to joining the family or the museum. You don’t get much of a say in terms of the actual ceremony, but Vincent is just happy to have his brothers approval. Obviously, a wedding made up of wax bodies with no priest or paperwork in sight isn’t going to be legal, but it’s the thought that counts. 

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

Usually he only listens to music for the background noise when he’s working, just so it’s not completely silent. He really only likes music without vocals, otherwise it’s too distracting. 

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

After a certain point, it’s on his mind constantly. It’s something he would never consider without the blessing of his twin, and the probability of getting a ‘yes’ out of him changes by the minute, so it takes a lot of time and effort. In the end, it’s only going to happen on Bo’s terms, and if that’s not the way you want it done, then you’re not getting a ring on your finger. 

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

They’ve got one dog and that’s probably as much as Bo is going to allow. While Vincent likes animals, he wouldn’t go out of his way to get a pet on his own, and he’d be perfectly happy without one. He does prefer dogs to cats, mainly because he enjoys teaching them tricks.