#this about Gussie in Jeeves and Wooster

[classics-cocks-and-concoctions]

*chubby kinda awkward character in a book*

“Hmmm how sweet, to my terrarium you go”

[aceredshirt13]

having read nearly all of the Jeeves short stories, it’s so funny to me that Bertie’s bisexuality manifests as casting a wide but shallow net at girls and a narrow but ridiculously deep net at men. He thinks girls are pretty on a reasonably frequent basis, and has tried to marry at least four women thus far (not counting the unwanted engagements), but when it doesn’t work out he’s over it in 24 hours. Meanwhile he shows absolutely no interest in and never gives flattering depictions of 99% of the men in his life, but will praise Jeeves to anyone who will listen, wax poetic about his appearance (and get defensive on his behalf about it when a child insults it), and is absolutely inconsolable when they are separated.

(also Bertie is in no way allosexual. he is canonically terrified at the thought of reproducing. and due to the narrow but deep net on the other end I don’t imagine he’s going around sleeping with loads of men, either. that man’s either demi as hell or just entirely ace)

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

Jeeves novels drinking game is you take a shot every time Bertie makes a point of demonstrating that he won that Scripture Knowledge Prize fair and square

[bongosinferno]

Hello, I made a Jeeves and Wooster animation for my school thesis work. It's a scene from Code of The Woosters that stuck out to me as really colorfully written, so when it was time to do an independent thesis work at the end of Swedish high school I decided to do an animation of it! It's the scene where Roderick Spode gets hit in the head with a painting.

The audio was taken from the show to save time, but the animation is based on the book. Hope you enjoy!

[v-thinks-on]

Vampires squabbling about cow creamers and trying to convince rich uncles to let them marry the pretty waitress who happens to be a werewolf, and everyone always has so many guests because any respectable manor must be haunted by at least half a dozen ghosts

What if jeeves & wooster but there’s paranormal shenanigans

Like ghosts or werewolves or it’s about rich vampire society and they’re all vampires

The tone stays exactly the same

Jeeves is still completely human

Or is he

[aspiring-creative-person]

Ok but I was just thinking

Jooster is kind of the only actual solid relationship in Jeeves and Wooster?? Like platonic or romantic, let me explain

Like obviously it’s the focus, but like. Listen.

Everyone else hops from girl to girl, or guy to guy, and each one is filled with turmoil. This is just talking about Bertie’s friends, right?

But also, as friends, they really suck. They constantly get him to do things for them and do nothing in return.

Even the aunts and uncles don’t usually have spouses that are actually on screen!! Who knows if there were divorces or something?? Like people’s parents are hardly ever present it’s always some rich aunt or uncle, with Bertie yes but even with all his friends 😅😂

Everyone in that show is just so… detached from each other. There’s a particular moment where Bertie is driving Bingo and Tuppy home, and they’re just ranting about their women to each other and not listening to the other, and Bertie is just so done with it. I think that illustrates this point pretty well.

Anyway, Jeeves and Bertie are so not that. There’s another post somewhere on Tumblr talking about how Bertie always replies to Jeeves’ subtext and they pick up on each others moods essentially, which I think is a great point. And generally they just really like each other. Just read any of the books to see how much Bertie admires Jeeves, and read “Mr. Wooster Changes His Mind,” which is from Jeeves’ perspective, and you can see how he cares a lot for Bertie as well.

And like. They have their own language. Bertie is used to Jeeves materializing into rooms (this generally freaks out other people), he is now comfortable with it. Also he knows that whenever Jeeves is cold to him it’s almost always about his fashion choices, and that is a constant theme of how they interact. They have their quips about music sometimes. Jeeves always helps solve Bertie’s (and friends’) problems, and even when Bertie gets the short end of the stick, if it’s Jeeves’ plan he immediately is satisfied with the conclusion.

The biggest thing, though, is probably their brief break-up. Like. They had a disagreement and broke up, and then missed each other. There weren’t even any hard feelings, just longing tbh. And at the end they got back together, and stayed together, and were happy to see each other again. They clearly enjoy each others’ company. And Jeeves seemed to think that the other candidates for his employer did not even compare to Bertie.

Name another couple in this show who is as devoted as they are

Half of the women go for men for their status, the other half at whims

All of the men go for women on whims, and half of them find another girl when they have some sort of disagreement with the previous one

And even if they get back with a previous partner, there’s no guarantee that they will stay together

But Jooster is in for the long haul. The most consistent relationship, the most caring relationship, the most in-tune relationship, the most long-term relationship.

Oh yeah also with familial relations and all that. Aunt Agatha has been quoted to say she thinks Bertie should probably be put in some home. Like, that’s pretty rude and everything. She also tries to get him to marry all the time, she doesn’t care about him in a way that is healthy at least, only so much as he can be out of the way and out of trouble. Even Aunt Dahlia, who says he is her favorite nephew, and who takes advantage of his nature to get him to do things for her, insults him and throws things at him sometimes. His cousin Gussy, when he gets drunk, insults him in front of a crowd, going so far as to say he hates him. Claude and Eustice put him into the soup without a care for how mad Aunt Agatha will be at him.

Jeeves never insults him, or not his character at least. Yes, they have their disagreements about fashion and music. But Jeeves never insults his intelligence. He never calls him clumsy. He never underestimates him. Yes, he is his employee, but I have a feeling that it doesn’t have to do with that. Even when he was split up, like I mentioned, he came back and said the other employers weren’t up to snuff compared to Bertie.

Omg and then there’s all the women who think Bertie loves them/who want to marry Bertie. Of course, they all have delusions about him, because if they knew him at all they would know he is not in love with them. They would know that he’s too much of a pushover to say no to them. But they don’t. Which just shows further the disconnect everyone has in this show.

Ok referencing one more post because I like the point they have. It was something about how the actors keep changing for the side characters, unintentionally showing how Jeeves is really the only constant in Bertie’s life. Again showing the difference in their relationship vs his disconnected everyone else is. While I’m sure it’s not an intentional choice in that regard, it certainly is an interesting connection.

Anyway like I said at the beginning of this, you can interpret their relationship as romantic or platonic or somewhere in between, but it’s definitely the only solid one in the series.

[a-case-of-the-ace]

Thinking about @idanit 's polish Jeeves au, and wondering how that would work for my country. Nowhere near as in-depth, and I'm not a naturally fancy person but here are my thoughts on Jeeves and Wooster but in Australia:

(This'll have to be modernish too, history isn't my strong suit)

As far as the Wooster history goes, I'd say the Woosters were probably in Australia just as the colonisation was starting up. Perhaps his ancestors founded a town, or did some Stuart- esque exploring.

Perhaps they (particularly Aunt Agatha) are very proud to say that their ancestors fought in a war, and all fail to mention that it was the Great Emu War.

I'm not entirely certain how much of my Jeeves knowledge is fan-generated, but I imagine he started working young, perhaps his relatives worked in cruise ships, which would give him his experience in fancier settings. I'd wager he got a lot of his encyclopaedic knowledge from the quiz nights hosted on the ships, which gets him interested in learning new things.

As far as Jeeves and Wooster meeting, perhaps Aunt Dahlia meets Jeeves on a cruise, is impressed by his brains and decorum and hires him to look after Bertie.

As far as where they'd live, perhaps Sydney? Wealthy area, goodish weather.

I imagine Bertie would attempt to take up surfing, and fail dismally. A lot of rallying round and helpful towelling is in order afterward.

I can definitely picture Jeeves packing a little barbecue to cook sausages on the beach, for when Bertie gets back in.

I wonder if Jeeves would think surfing is undignified. Probably, but he's likely a strong swimmer, good for fishing Bertram out of the soup and various bodies of water.

I just KNOW Jeeves makes the most wonderful pavlova. And lamingtons from scratch.

Canon Bertie is very proud of his schooling but I've no idea where he'd go.

Tuppy has definitely fought a kangaroo at least once. Most say the kangaroo won. Also claims he can take on a cassowary. (He can't).

Gussie is into platypi. It is his destiny.

Bertie buys a cork hat that gets a swift execution.

In a more Jooster setting, a shared xmas would see Jeeves in a paper crown, after much pleading from Bertie. It is traditional, after all.

Bingo follows many girls into activities he's not suited to, including but not limited to: windsurfing, sailing (he buys a catamaran to repeatedly fall off), bird watching, skim boarding, surf mats and wake boarding (this romance fails after Bingo slings the girl into a riverside gum tree.)

A particularly peeved Jeeves sees no issue swatting mosquitoes that have landed on Bertie. Bertie has his suspicions about the mosquitoes existence.

Bertie still plays his piano, though an attempt to learn the didgeridoo causes issues between the two.

[placeholdercornerworks]

In a fit of inspiration at @searivermountain 's , @idanit 's and @a-case-of-the-ace 's AU posts about Jeeves and Wooster living in their respective countries, here are my two (albeit rough and unpolished two cents) about Jeeves and Wooster if they were living in the Kindgom of Italy.

I'm rewinding the actual OG setting by a decade or so as such, we're talking of the turn of the century here, 1898-1912.

First, a few setting points:

• I imagined them living in Turin, initially this was because it tied well with other plot points (Such as chuffy owning his seaside vacation houses(?) on the coast of Liguria and still being able to put Rocky "abroad" in France). Historically you could explain it by saying his parents moved there shortly after the proclamation of the Kingdom of Italy in 1861 because they saw it as a reason of prestige, perhaps some aunts followed suit, so on so forth.

• To elaborate on Rocky, the equivalent of them going to America in S3 of the show would be Bertie residing in Monaco and Jeeves doesn't get sent to scout New York for Rocky's aunt, but rather Montecarlo.

• To move back to Turin, while gents clubs similar to the drones did exist in Italy at the time, it would have been much likely for them to meet at a cafe since many known groups in Italy organized in such way (e.g Varied well known turn-of-century writers often ruinited at the Giubbe Rosse in Rome and the "Macchiaioli" artists often reunited at the Caffè Michelangelo in Florence)

• The Ganymede however would have operated in a way closer to that of gents club.

• Bertie, such as his standing commands, is gonna get promptly shipped to study law at the University of Turin cause I swear it's lowkey a recurrent fact with many of the wealthier authors I studied, it was "the thing" much.

Now, before I get onto miscellaneous trivia and ramblings and such, my two thoughts on their alternative names.

• The direct italianization of Reginald is Rinaldo, which I'd be keen on keeping (alternatively Raimondo has practically the same etymology and derivation), for surname, upon learning that Jeeves derives from Genevieve, which was the patron of Paris, I've decided to give him the surname Parisi, for the sake of the assonance.

• For Bertie on the other hand, the direct italianization of Betram is fucking Beltramo and I am in fact not keeping that so to remain on something similar sounding, he's Bernando now cause calling his Alberto keep the Bertie bit feels weird. As for surname, I'm similarly going of assonance, but with his original surname and as such I'm calling him Vistarini.

And now, miscellaneous trivia, lo and behold!

• Newts, or more specifically, a specie of newts known as the Italian Crested Newt, is more of a thing in central to southern Italy, so Gussy hereby has a thing for eels here in Italy, which were more common in bodies of water in the North.

• Bertie being interested in aviation!!! It was very much the next new thing so he'd often muse to Jeeves about his curiousity towards the inner workings of this jolly contraptions, tried to operate a plane once, crashes it in 50m, but if you were to ask Jeeves he'll succesfully find the right guy with the right plane to give him a ride to give Bertie aerial photos of the city he's much excited about.

• Jeeves seemingly knows every literature known to man and he's ready to counter-prove or counter-quote a statement with an appropriate literary quote. This is more instinctive musing but I feel like Bertie would often make paragons to the plays of Alfieri and Goldoni, or alternatively, Latin stuff and he'd surely have studied it majorly in uni.

• Additionally I think it would be highly funny to have Jeeves and Bertie discuss Parini, il giorno specifically.

• God blast d'Annunzio also cause Tuppy would 100% be keen on comparing is love-unfilled existence to the banes of a d'Annunzio protag, he thinks himself the next embodiment of Andrea Sperelli and Bertie is just "Heh, silly Tuppy"

• This applies generally but lots of theatre going involved, they have stayed over in Milan before to catch premieres at The Scala and one of this baboons surely said they were gonna find themselves a girl like Eleonora Duse

• The cast of the drones routinely gets dragged in honor fencing duels over this or that offence or this or that woman and Bertie is frequently dragged in under the excuse "Oh, come on, the other party has never seen me before, you can go in my stead!", he miserably fucking fails and on the other hand this is another venture in which jeeves excels

[my-mistake-lets-do-this-again]

i’m currently imagining all of the jeeves and wooster characters on tumblr and i need to find gussie’s blog right now. newt facts and updates would be amazing on my dash frfr

also i think bertie’s blog would be absolutely hilarious. he would have one of those 100% out of context posts that feels like it was made up for the humor of the thing but is for sure like ao3 author level reason for why he vanished for a bit.

he also posts his thoughts and secrets in a side blog where he thinks nobody knows it’s him but jeeves finds it one day and sends him anonymous asks about how he’s doing and wishing him well to help improve bertie’s day

[skippiefritz]

reqs from @idanit and @beetle-goth (sorry for tags I'll untag if asked ^^;)

long rambly post ahead! Unlike what I normally post but its my account so I can do what I want lol

(This probably isn't the most historical thing I’ve ever written but! I will fix as I work on it more lol)

the implications of Bertie's bachelorhood if he were a bachelorette fascinate me endlessly

I read this post and it gave me brain worms and I've been designing an au around it ever since

In this au it's a complete genderswap with all characters, uncle Alistair (aunt Agatha) becomes more old fashioned sexist to Bertie, not thinking she can take care of herself. (sorry Agatha stans)

Which like. She can't. But it's nothing to do with her being a woman.

Bertie keeps her core character traits, but by merely being a woman living alone in 1920s London, she inherently becomes more independent and rebellious.

She's sneakier about her escapades, still stealing hats off bobby's and the like, but tries to be subtle about it. Emphasis on tries, she's still a Wooster at her core, and thus a very

big klutz.

Bertie is just completely and unapologetically her/himself regardless of gender, for better or for worse.

If humble pie is being served, she will surely go back for seconds every time.

I can picture her leaning very hard into the roaring twenties flapper persona, but still being a homebody at heart. Big of heart, dumb of ass.

The biggest issue of course is the engagements, it’s a lot harder for a woman (particularly one whose family wants her to get married) to get out of engagements. THIS is where the fun new plots come in

Obviously there’s the classic setting up her fiances with other women, so they call it off and marry their true loves. And the occasional making herself seem unsuitable to be married. (though, this would usually backfire, that would make it seem like she needed to be married more, so she had a man to take care of her and make her settle down)

Instead of focusing on making it seem she herself is un-weddable, she (and by she I mean Jeeves) concocts byzantine schemes to paint her potential suitors in the worst light possible, or to make them seem negligible so one family or the other would call it off.

I’ve been working on one such story, I haven't ironed out all the details but it ends with Gussie pushing Bertie into a lake. Of course. (I may make  a comic abt it when done)

Jeeves’ character is fascinating too, I see her being the classic “quiet competent woman who gets shit done”. She would be less respected than m!jeeves, but still far more respected than the average maidservant of her time.

I can see her need for fashion clashing with the maidservant outfits of the time, part of me is tempted to keep her design the exact same and make her a big beautiful butch, but…I know that's probably not how it would go.

Jeeves would wear the classic Maidservant outfit of the time, though I can see her styling it subtly to suit her more.

Her control over Bertie’s wardrobe, while still being “God this bitch has no fashion”, also has an undercurrent of internalized sexism. She’s discomforted by the more risque (by those times) outfits Bertie enjoys wearing, like her flashy flapper dresses and the like.

Of course, she’s also uncomfortable by how attractive she finds her in said risque clothes. (drama!!)

And they end up compromising !!! and Jeeves has a lil arc in learning to accept the new fashion wave and embracing bodies and whatnot.

Their dynamic would essentially be the same, homoeroticism, Jeeves being morosexual, Bertie being endlessly impressed by her.

also because of the ridiculous british nicknames most the characters are referred to the same, they just have diff first names, here's a quick cheat sheet

(I tried to keep them similar and also extremely english)

Reginald Jeeves = Regina Jeeves

Bertam "Bertie" Wooster = Bertha "Bertie" Wooster

Reginald Jeeves = Regina Jeeves

Aunt Agatha/Dahlia = uncle Alistor/Dahl

Augustus "Gussie" Fink-Nottle = August "Gussie" Fink-Nottle

Charles "Biffy" Biffen = Charlotte "Biffy" Biffen

Marmaduke "Chuffy" Chuffnell = Marigold "Chuffy" Chuffnell

Stephanie "Stiffy" Byng = Stewart "Stiffy" Byng (the implications of a man being named Stiffy are. different but Wodehouse had to know what he was doing with that name)

Richard "Bingo" little = Richenda "Bingo" Little

and so on and so forth!

Anyway uh, this went on for a while lol

I’m working on designs for them and will gladly share if asked! But they’re nowhere near done dhjdsh thanks for coming to my ted talk.

I don't know if any of this made sense, sorry if it doesn’t.

also for a bonus here's a quick messy collage I made of f!Bertie

[eirinstiva]

Alérgico a la pala

Halloa! ~ Bertie sent a letter~~ and Aunt Dahlia is here~~~

She is a large, genial soul, with whom it is a pleasure to hobnob. In her spiritual makeup there is none of that subtle gosh-awfulness which renders such an exhibit as, say, my Aunt Agatha the curse of the Home Counties and a menace to one and all. I have the highest esteem for Aunt Dahlia, and have never wavered in my cordial appreciation of her humanity, sporting qualities and general good-eggishness.

Is Dahlia Bertie's favourite auntie? I think so, this description of her is cute.

“Wake up, Bertie, you old ass!” she cried, in a voice that hit me between the eyebrows and went out at the back of my head.

I need an audio of this as alarm. It would be a bit scary but it's perfect to wake up and get ready with a good laugh.

“I wonder, Bertie,” she proceeded, gazing at me as I should imagine Gussie would have gazed at some newt that was not up to sample, “if you have the faintest conception how perfectly loathsome you look? A cross between an orgy scene in the movies and some low form of pond life. I suppose you were out on the tiles last night?” “I attended a social function, yes,” I said coldly. “Pongo Twistleton’s birthday party. I couldn’t let Pongo down. Noblesse oblige.”

Aunt Dahlia, I think poor Bertie is suffering enough with the hangover, or as we said in (some dialects of) Spanish: el hachazo (axe blow).

I’ve got a job for you.” “But I don’t want a job.” “What you want, my lad, and what you’re going to get are two very different things. There is man’s work for you to do at Brinkley Court.

So is canon that Bertram Wooster doesn't want a job, he loves to a drone in The Drones Club. He's allergic to working (figurative), or as we say in Chilean: alérgico a la pala (allergic to shovel/spade).

“You’re pulling my leg.” “I am not pulling your leg. Nothing would induce me to touch your beastly leg. 

This is the proof of the Bertie closeness to Aunt Dahlia. Would Bertie use that expression in front of Aunt Agatha? No. Would Aunt Agatha answer him in the same way? Nope. Would Bertie dare to say "no" to Aunt Agatha? Mmm...

“Derisively,” I explained. “I won’t do it. That’s final. I simply will not do it.” “You will do it, young Bertie, or never darken my doors again. And you know what that means. No more of Anatole’s dinners for you.”

Aunt Agatha has the same vibes that her nephew, and she knows him very, veeeery well, that's why she asking him for this job.

“But, Aunt Dahlia, listen to reason. I assure you, you’ve got hold of the wrong man. I’m hopeless at a game like that. Ask Jeeves about the time I got lugged in to address a girls’ school. I made the most colossal ass of myself.” “And I confidently anticipate that you will make an equally colossal ass of yourself on the thirty-first of this month. That’s why I want you. The way I look at it is that, as the thing is bound to be a frost, anyway, one may as well get a hearty laugh out of it. I shall enjoy seeing you distribute those prizes, Bertie. 

Would Jeeves help him with this... job? I don't know, and now Bertie has to deal with Gussie visiting so early. There's always the chance to nap later, old chap!

[pop-squeak]

Doing this instead my midterms because if I write one more word on Jane Austen I’m gonna tear my hair out:

along with being a good cook Bertie is also an amazing baker and is always baking new recipes for Jeeves to try

Every Christmas/Jeeves’ birthday Bertie get’s him a really bad article of clothing and whenever he doesn’t something really wonderful Jeeves will wear one of them

Bertie’s horrible at tieing a tie so much so that Jeeves need to help him with his own (might have to get really close durning that)

They’re dynamic is a little bit swapped

“Wow look at Jeeves and his shitty man servant Wooster”

I like to think that the rest of the drones club are also manservants, just a whole army of semi-competent servants.

im drawing something for this rn but its taking too long to finish so im just gonna reply now

again YES YOU ARE SO RIGHT HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS AU BETTER THAN I DO OMG

what kinda baked goods do you think bertie would enjoy making? personally I think he'd enjoy the challenge of a souffle. He'd get to make Jeeves be quiet and careful while it's baking too(let's be real, Jeeves already is quiet, but bertie still likes the thrill of ordering him around a little, and Jeeves thinks its funny)

Every Christmas Jeeves gives bertie a weirdly large bonus, along with a super sweet and personal gift. The bonus is in case bertie wants to save up and leave him, start his own business or something. Jeeves hates the idea, but he strongly believes in 'if you love something let it go,' and every year bertie stays with him is another year he thinks just maybe bertie might care for him too.

I love this idea. so so much. If I ever find my iPad I will be drawing a comic.

Jeeves hates it whenever people shit on bertie, he wants to rip them apart("strong words from someone wearing a bowler hat with that pocket square" and such) but bertie always takes it in good humor

IM NOT EVEN KIDDING I WAS THINKING ABOUT VALET GUSSIE YESTERDAY I think he'd be really good at it. Tuppy on the other hand...

[oddlittlestories]

I accidentally started with season two episode two of Jeeves and Wooster

I have no idea what’s happening, I forgot how much I like British small town shows, and it’s hilarious

Why is Doc Martin here

Bertie is smarter than Gussie to the point of having common sense. I thought he was head empty and went gremlin for gremlin with all his buddies all the time??

Excellent dynamic though. Gussie breaking in and going help!! And then telling J&W about some spectacularly poor idea he’s done and J&W are instantly on the same page and know it

Jeeves is SAVAGE

“I hate to disagree with you but…”

“Your novelty handkerchiefs, sir”

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

More things I think would happen if Jeeves and Wooster were on DS9

Part 1 Part 1.5

It's a bit harder in space than in London for Bertie's relatives and school friends to track him down and beg for favors. Unfortunately, Jeeves’s reputation as a problem-solver has spread around the station, and the problems Bertie's NEW friends bring to him are even more ridiculous.

Week after week: "Help, I got Zanthi fever at the Gratitude Festival and now my fiancée won't speak to me"—"I love a girl from a few star systems over, but on her homeworld unmarried men and women are only allowed to communicate via each other's same-gender parent and her mom hates me"—"Your Uncle Tom wants a rare silver thing but this asshole Ferengi trader won't let him have it" (sometimes his relatives DO visit)

When he doesn’t end up with dubiously legal, stolen, or dangerous alien merchandise smuggled aboard his ship against his will (and also when he does), he keeps managing to stumble coincidentally into the exact combination of words and actions that make up some alien culture's courtship ritual (nobody told him that on Glorgon, pushing somebody into a body of water is considered the first step in a marriage proposal!)

The Gussie/Madeline/Spode love triangle follows him to space, obviously. No matter where he is in the galaxy, fiancé(e)s of the week will come and go, but the Gussie/Madeline/Spode love triangle is a universal constant. There is no galaxy or universe he can escape to where the triangle will not follow.

I feel like this goes without saying, but Gussie is a human scientist stationed on Bajor to study newts native amphibious life forms found in the planet's rivers. He and Bertie still went to school together. Spode is a firebrand Bajoran nationalist politician who had ties to the Circle before their failed coup, but not quite enough for anything to be proved against him.

Bassett Madeline is a Bajoran astronomer who writes poetry on the side and visits the station sometimes to help with research on the wormhole. She’s actually a very qualified scientist, but there’s nothing stopping her from knowing how the stars work AND believing they’re the Prophets’ daisy chain.

Kira really, REALLY wants to like her. She wants to like her so badly. Another highly accomplished religious Bajoran woman is visiting, she should be thrilled! They have so much to talk about! Madeline's fervor toward their shared faith is nothing less than admirable and inspiring and an example to us all, and not at ALL "mawkish" or "a bit much," JULIAN, and no Kira does NOT have a headache, but on second thoughts maybe she should head to the infirmary just in case.

Fortunately, Madeline is usually on the station to work with Jadzia, who regards her mushy tendencies with gentle amusement.

Kira eventually warms to Madeline somewhat when, one day, she (Madeline) visits the station after a fight with Gussie, and Jadzia, taking pity, invites her to play Camelot with her and Kira in the holosuites. Kira has to grit her teeth through the first half, but the three of them end up bonding when something inevitably goes wrong with the safety protocols and they have to fight a real dragon or something. Kira still wouldn't call Madeline her best friend, but she can find it in herself to tolerate the daisy-chain talk with a more bonhomous spirit.

Bertie has no idea any of this is happening, but is just grateful that Jadzia managed to whisk Madeline off to the holosuites before she could try to marry HIM again. He has the Bajoran Rite of Separation memorized by heart and he's running out of bowls.

He also isn't sure what all that was about when Jadzia assured him that she's got this, don't worry about it, you go on and spend some quality time with Jeeves, and then winked at him. Or why this made Jeeves tighten his jaw by the minutest degree and disappear to "supervise repairs," even though Bertie is almost certain there are no repairs left to be done.

It's all a bit rummy, but Jadzia is a dependable sort of cove, and if she says there's nothing to worry about then he trusts there's nothing to worry about. She's a bit like Jeeves in that respect, what? So he shrugs it off and goes to play darts with Julian and Miles instead.

Bertie is obviously a common fixture at the dartboard in Quark's. He also plays tennis with Julian sometimes (Miles being kind of done with tennis after what happened last time). Quark tried to start a betting pool on their games one time, but hit a snag when it turned out that many of the non-human bar customers had trouble telling the competitors apart.

Bertie once sat with Jadzia over a couple drinks as she patiently tried to explain the concept of joined Trill to him (he had been asking about why Sisko calls her "old man"). The discussion ended with Jadzia kindly patting him on the shoulder and inviting him to a game of Dabo.

As it happens, there weren't really any repairs to be done on the ship, but in pretending he was carrying out inspections Jeeves DID discover a hidden device on the warp engine that would have caused everyone on the station to hallucinate their worst enemy's face onto random strangers when the engine was engaged, so the day wasn't a complete wash.

(He kept the device instead of reporting it, naturally. You never know what might come in handy some day. But the plot would have fallen apart anyway, as the aliens who'd planted it suddenly found themselves succumbing to infighting after their first officer received an anonymous message alerting them to the fact that the captain had been planning to short the crew on their pay.)

[saintsenara]

I need answers for my favourite evil couple:

Bella - 3, 12, 21

Vold - 31, 40, 50

thank you for the ask @sofoulandfairaday!

[character ask game here]

3. an obscure headcanon you have about them:

that bellatrix is very girly, and all the black and leather is just the uniform she wears when she’s out being an assassin. when she’s at home, she likes garish dresses with lots of flounces, enormous costume jewellery, playing with make-up, and trying to get the dark lord to dance with her.

12. a crack headcanon you have about them:

that the reason travers is so weird when he meets her - or, really, hermione disguised as her - in deathly hallows is because they had one very awkward snog once which bella doesn’t remember but he is pathetically obsessed with.

21. what's their drink of choice?

as per my deranged masterpiece death (eaters) in paradise: bella would like the gaudiest cocktail you have, the more sparklers the better.

31. if they had a tumblr what would it look like?

lord voldemort's tumblr presence would be absolutely chaotic, given both his ruthless command of aesthetic [he would have a tagging system you can't even imagine] and his tendency to torpedo this aesthetic to go on re-blog sprees when he sees something shiny.

40. what’s their favourite book?

if asked, he would say it’s secrets of the darkest art. he’s lying. it’s right ho, jeeves.

abraxas malfoy and romulus lestrange never understood that being told they were like the combined forces of bertie wooster and gussie fink-nottle was an insult.

50. what's a memory they’ve blocked out?

i’ve given a heavy answer for this here. a lighter one is that he’s definitely memory-holed turning up at spinner’s end one evening to see snape and wormtail engaged in some extremely creative hate sex.

[huanglaoshu]

The part of Thank you, Jeeves where Stoker gets really upset at the way Jeeves talks had me thinking about how Bertie reacts to the same habits.

A. Supplying a missing word -- If Bertie replaces a word with "thingummy" or other filler, and Jeeves tells him what the missing word is, Bertie responds positively basically 100% of the time

B. Quoting poetry -- when Jeeves quotes poetry at Bertie the reactions tend to be:

Saying "gosh that's a nice turn of phrase did you make it up?"

Adding it to his vocabulary

Saying "oh is that from ______?"

Letting it pass without comment

Saying "please Jeeves, not now, I just need advice, please don't quote poetry at me right now"

C. Adding lots of minor details with no bearing on the ultimate point -- I'm not sure how often this comes up outside of Thank you, Jeeves, but it annoys Stoker to death and Bertie thinks it's neat.

I'm going to try to find examples of this sort of thing. A few to start:

Example of B2:

"Oh, ah, yes, of course, definitely." I remembered something Jeeves had once called Gussie. "A sensitive plant, what?" "Exactly. You know your Shelley, Bertie." "Oh, do I?"

-- The Code of the Woosters, chapter 3

Example of C, although I'm going back and forth on whether this is how Jeeves talks normally or if he's trying to rile up Stoker on purpose:

"The larger potting-shed, m'lord, not the smaller one. The potting-shed to which I allude is the potting-shed on the right as you enter the kitchen garden. It has a red-tiled roof, in contradistinction to the smaller potting-shed, the roof of which is constructed of..." I had never been, as you might say, frightfully fond of J. Washburn Stoker, but it seemed only neighbourly at this moment to try to save him from apoplexy. "Jeeves," I said. "Sir?" "Never mind which potting-shed."

-- Thank you, Jeeves, chapter 21