#little easter egg for the loyal readers

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

Jeeves novels drinking game is you take a shot every time Bertie makes a point of demonstrating that he won that Scripture Knowledge Prize fair and square

[romanarose]

Darkness on the Edge of Town: Epilouge

Chapter 1 : Chapter 2 : Chapter 3: Chapter 4 Masterlist Join my taglist

Fic Summary: Right before a mandatory FEDRA lockdown, Joel saved a woman in an ally from FEDRA guards and is forced to house her for the entire lockdown. I.e theres only one bed

Chapter Summary: Joel get's you out.

Warnings: Mostly just feas of potential SA, nothing that actually happens or is anything to be afraid of, mostly in reference to women being nervous around strange men

Immersability: Reader has no age gap, is implied to be approximately Joel's age, possibly older than Tommy. Is not concerned about pregnancy.

A/N: For readers of The Wrong Way on ym alt account, theres a few not so subtle easter eggs LMFAOOOO

*************

Tommy proved a lot easier to talk to, at least compared to Joel’s initial reaction to you. Still, you didn’t feel as comfortable with Tommy as you did by the end of your time with Joel. He was nice, friendly. Tommy was given a vehicle which made the journey shorter… if you knew where you were going. You realize the insanity of traveling across the country with a man you didn’t know, but what options did you have? He was safer than Ross to be sure. You had weighed the options before you left.

Joel told you the plan, that his brother would get you out, take you with him where he was going and leave you somewhere safe. Tommy had promised Joel it was somewhere safe, but wouldn’t tell him where. That was the deal, Tommy wouldn’t be telling Joel anything. He was supposed to check in with the fireflies and they would tell him updates that he was safe, and you were safe, but that was it. Then, Tommy would come back to Boston without you, and Joel wasn’t supposed to talk to Tommy ever again. The secrecy made you nervous, but Joel trusted Tommy completely. There wasn’t a single doubt in his mind that Tommy would get you to safety and that Tommy wouldn’t hurt you.

The other option was Ross. Ross, and whoever Ross let at you. You couldn’t fight off a gang of men, no matter how strong you were, how physically capable. 10 men were 10 men. Even if Tommy wanted something in return for taking you, you wouldn’t be thrilled but laying there and taking it was a more desirable to the alternative of Ross. Still, for days Tommy didn’t give any indication that he had any dark plans. 

He didn’t even seem like you were of any interest to him. You never caught him sneaking a peak when you relieved yourself or bathed, he never hinted or asked any inappropriate questions. He seemed a lot like Joel in that sense. Honestly, under different circumstances, you would have initiated sex. He was attractive, he was charming, and a lot of fun to be around. Sex to you wasn’t a huge deal, especially at your age. That’s why you were so ready to sleep with Joel…

But right now, you still felt loyal to him . Joel saved you multiple times, but you genuinely connected to him. Sure, maybe he already slept with someone. You two had no pretense of being an actual couple, of any sort of loyalty. It was something to fill the time, and boy, did it fill you. You would need a little time before you went for someone else.

“Whatever you wanna know, you can just ask me.” You said Tommy one night a few days in as the two of you reclined the car seats. It was getting colder out, so you and Tommy scooted towards each other and shared a blanket. There wasn’t an air of sexual tension, even with your shoulders touching. It just felt brotherly. You had felt his eyes on you for a while as you tried to sleep. “I know you got questions.”

His voice was gravely next to you. “I think you got a few too.”

You sigh. “I’m not sure I want the answers.”

“Yeah. Me neither.”

Finally, you open your eyes and turn over to where he’s looking at you, eyes soft and brown. “C’mon. Question for question.”

“You start.”

“You’re the one staring at me with your puppy dog eyes all the fucking time. Go on, ask what I know you’re dying to.”

He rolled his eyes, sitting up and resting on his arm, but smiling gently. “Alrighty, I’ll bite. Who are you to Joel.”

A small shrug. “I’m not sure I’m anything, really. He saved me from Ross, as you know, and we got stuck in his apartment for a week.”

Tommy’s face grew more serious. “‘N he was good to yuh?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “Real good.” Teasing him, you lean in with a smile. “And we fucked, too.”

“UGH!” Tommy groans, cringing hard and making a disgusted face, shoving you away. “Sick. Awful.”

You laugh at his reaction, goading him on more. “It wasn’t awful, it was actually pretty damn great-”

“EW!” Tommy attempts to cover your mouth, laughing along now too.

You keep dodging his hand. “Got reeeeeal hot and heavy too-”

“BLEH!”

When you finally stop, you both are chuckling. You like Tommy, you’re glad he’s the one taking you if it couldn’t be Joel. As you two settle down, you both stare up at the ceiling. It was peaceful out here. South Dakota, along I-90. When you’d get to Rapid City, Tommy would radio the Fireflies to tell Joel you both were safe. If you were lucky, Joel might have given them a message to give you two, but you weren’t sure the fireflies would pass it along. You got the feeling Joel was not popular among them.

Tommy calls your name, and you look towards him again. “He make you do any of that?” It’s clear what Tommy’s asking, and you understand his concerns. 

“Oh god no.” You chuckle in response. “I brought it up. I had to tell him multiple times that i didn’t feel forced or noth’n. Like, multiple times. And then it just…”

“It's just what.”

You shrug again. “Turned into someth’n more. I dunno. But he was good to me. Don’t you worry ’bout that.”

He nods, taking it all in. “Alright, your turn.”

“Hm? Oh, right. Well… you told Joel… well, you made it sound like he did a lot of bad shit.”

Tommy sighs, sinking further in his seat. “Yeah, I did. Joel and I… we did a lot of bad shit back in the day. The things I saw him do…” He shakes his head. “I can’t even look at him now.”

“He see you do shit too?” You ask.

He huffs, but says yeah.

“He do worse than you?”

Tommy shifts in his seat. “I donno.”

You let him sit in his thoughts for a moment before speaking again. “I ain’t gonna tell you what you gotta do or who you gotta talk to. I don’t know your story. But I know we’ve all done fuck up things… and I know Joel loves you. Whatever happened, he ain’t surviving for himself. There's too much pain in his eyes for that. Joel… he survives for others. I ain’t tryna guilt trip you, Tommy… but I think we’re both alive because of him.”

Tommy didn’t say anything, simply staring ahead at the windshield until you fell asleep. You don’t think he slept much that night.

*

It had been years, your life at the QZ felt like a miserable nightmare. Life was good in Jackson.

You worked hard, but were rewarded with a bountiful life and good friends, Tommy remained one of them. When you and Tommy found the settlement of Jackson, it didn’t take long at all for the two of you to decide to abandon Tommy’s plans and loyalties with the Fireflies and settle here in Jackson. The fact he’d be caught spending every free second during your respite with the pretty and slightly scary leader may have influenced his decision. You, however, were thrilled to be somewhere with running water and electricity, especially with summer coming. You could not be happier with your choice.

Right now, however, you were grumpy.

Sick with the flu, you’d been stuck at home all day while the town had its movie night. Goddammit. You always miss the good shit. Lorenzo had told you to just go, but you didn’t want to infect anyone. A simple flu could kill much easier without modern medicine. 

Still, he was nice enough to bring you soup from the mess hall after.

“Can’t stay long. Zach wants me home early to get a good nights sleep ‘for once’.” Lorenzo rolled his eyes and did finger quotes, but with a smile. His husband loved and cared about him, as Lorenzo did Zach “I just thought I’d let you in on the hot gossip.” He said with a smile, pulling out two joints and handing one to you. 

You sniffle, sounding congested as hell as you rock in your rocking chair. “Did Jack get dumped again? I swear to god, it’s every week. Maura told me in high school he-”

“No, no, no! It’s even better!” He said with a grin, not hesitating before lighting up in your living room, a motion which you followed. “A stranger rolls into town, tall! Dark! Handsome!”

You can’t help roll your eyes. “You're married.”

“Hey, Zach called him handsome first, okay?” Lorenzo’s thick Boston accent came out even more when he was animated. “Anyway, he’s a father too. Road in with a teenager I dunno, 17? Or 10?”

“Those are wildly different ages.”

Lorenzo brushed you off. “Whatever, point is, single father. That's hot.”

You scrunch up your nose. “Are we sure that’s his daughter? Not some sicko we gotta kill?”

“Now, see, I ASKED THAT!” Lorenzo waves his hands around. “But Zach asked Jack who asked Maura who asked Maria-” Deep breath. “Who was suuuuuuper fucking cryptic about it. Seems Tommy knows him, and you know how Tommy is about his past.”

You did know, actually. You lean in with a smile, happy someone is filling you in on what you missed. “What’d she say?”

“Just that the girls his kid, and she’s taken care of and” More finger quotes “‘Tell Lorenzo to mind his damn business’”

That made both of you laugh. You and Lorenzo frequently caused problems despite your age. All in good, harmless fun, but the two of you were more like teenagers sometimes, and more often than not, you dragged a few friends into it.

“Are they staying in Jackson?”

“Doesn’t seem like it. Dunno why though, nice place for a kid here. But maybe her mom is somewhere out there. Either way, I’m gonna try and talk to him tomorrow, maybe-”

A knock on the door. Lorenzo frowned. “Damn honey, you got friends other than me?”

“Oh shut the fuck up.” You giggle, kicking him. “Answer the door for me, I’m sick and dying.”

Lorenzo kicked you back, but did as you asked. You couldn’t see who was there, but watched Lorenzo. “Oh. Uh. Hello?” 

“Renzo, whose there?” You call. Lorenzo turns around, mouthing dramatically. ‘Oh my gooooood’

He turns back. “Can I help you?” You don’t hear the reply, but Lorenzo keeps a hand on the door handle and on the frame. Goofy gossip he is, he is no idiot and takes your safety seriously. He’s not just going to let anyone inside. Lorenzo turns around to face you again. “Hey, you know a Joel?”

Joel. Blood rushes through you and you stand up, wobbly. The man from Tommy’s past is Joel. Who the hell is the kid? Him and Tess have a secret daughter or something? You hadn’t told Lorenzo, or anyone for that matter, of how you escaped the QZ out of respect for Tommy and his desire to leave that life behind him, so it’s no wonder Lorenzo looked so confused. “JOEL?!” 

A tall, insanely broad body pushed past Lorenzo, and you ran to him despite your illness. Joel calls your name, breathes it out like a sigh of relief, a breath he’s been holding since you left.

*

It had been a long day for Joel. Seeing Tommy again was incredible, Gods grace, and knowing he was not only alive but thriving healed something in him.

You were the cherry on top of the sundae. 

He held out no hope that you’d remained single. It would be selfish and stupid… but he couldn’t deny to himself that he was relieved when you explained the man who opened the door to your home was not only not a husband or boyfriend, but married himself and not a threat.

Joel sat on the couch and was thrilled when you immediately scooted right next to him. You spent hours catching up, he explained it all to you, everything with Ellie, how he got here. All the loss… In turn, you told him your travels with Tommy, the life you have here now… And how you’re single. Finally, Joel explained why he came here.

Originally, when Tommy said you were here, he wasn’t going to try and find you. It’d just hurt too much to say goodbye again when he’d already to leaving Tommy… but then he decided he wasn’t leaving, that Tommy would take Ellie… then the fight with Ellie. He needed you. Joel explained the fight.

“Joel…” You said, admonishing him gently and you stroked his hair. Joel was laid out on your lap.

“I know, I know… I just… It’s like that book.”

He can feel your stomach chuckle. “White Fang, I know the one.”

“Yeah. That one. I just… I felt like I had to hurt her, to get her to let go on me. Tommy would be better. He’s younger, stronger, kinder.”

“But he’s not you.” You wait until Joel looks up at you. “You’ve protected her this far. She trusts you. She don’t know Tommy at all and baby.” You card your fingers through his curls. “He’s a man she doesn’t know. That’s a scary thing, she don’t know what kind of man he is.”

Joel starts to sit up, defensive. “Tommy ain’t no-”

“Baby, relax, I know.” You settle him down, de-ruffle his feathers. “I know, Tommy’s the sweetest piece of pie. But she don’t know that. Most importantly, she trusts you . She loves you .” You lean down to kiss his forehead. “I’d love for you to stay here with me, I really would, and if you want, I’ll be waiting here for you. But I think you know what you need to do.”

*

He did. He had to give her a choice. Unsurprisingly and illogically, Ellie chose him. Joel swore he’d come back to you, that he’d make things right with Ellie and get her where she needed to be…

When he thought he was dying, it was Ellie, Tommy, Sarah, you who ran through his head.

And months later, after all the violence and carnage and almost losing Ellie twice, when he walked into town, after seeing and hugging Tommy and meeting his little niece, Catherine Sarah, it was you he went searching for. 

Unsurprisingly, he found you at the bar with Lorenzo again, and who he later found was Lorenzo’s husband, Zach. Throughout the years, Joel would get to know your friends, and consider them friends of his own. He’d marry you, Tommy standing as his best man and your close friend both, little Catherine as your flower girl. You’d get to know and love Ellie, provide the maternal figure she needed in her life and a mediation between the two when things got tense. He’d fuck you into the mattress that night and you’d ride him for what seemed like hour the next morning, spending a day in bed until both of you were too aching a raw to go again. That would all come latter.

Right now, as he approached you from behind and Lorenzo not to subtly kicked you, to make you turn around, only one thing mattered.

“Joel!”

“Hey baby, can I have this dance?”

**********************

sweetiiiieeesssss

Anyway yall theres your happy ending you wanted!!!!

Now were all wrapped up.

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[downwiththeficness]

Shadow and Veil Ch. 1

Summary: Eva Moore’s life was a carefully constructed fiction. Every day, she did exactly what her mother in law, her husband, and his best friend expected of her. No mistakes. And, that was going pretty well for Eva right up until a huge complication literally tried to run her over. Now, she’s faced with trying to keep the pieces of her life from falling apart while attempting (and failing) to keep her feelings for her husband’s new business partner at bay.

A/N: This fic is a sister-fic to A Need So Great and A Need Unleashed. You do not need to have read ANSG or ANU to read this fic, but there are Easter eggs from those fics in Shadow and Veil for readers with keen eyes.  This fic is explicit for canon-compliant blood, gore, violence, and sex. As such, it is intended for an adult audience, only. A/B/O dynamics come with their own warning. Anyone under the age of 18 should not interact with this work. I do not consent to reposting this work to other platforms. Reblog only to Tumblr.

Word Count: ~2900

Masterlist        Next Chapter     Read on AO3

Eva pulled the scarf further down over her head and kept her chin tucked against her chest. The hall was deserted, but she could not be too careful. Not here. Not now.

Wary of who might be nearby, Eva gave a furtive knock on the door of apartment twelve.

The door opened and she was waved inside without ceremony. Scurrying quickly, Eva let out the breath she hadn’t noticed was stuck somewhere in the pit of her stomach.

“Thank you for seeing me.”

Bobbi Lynn rolled her eyes, “I see you twice a year, Mrs. Moore. You don’t have to thank me every time.”

But, she did.

Eva owed Bobbi Lynn her deepest thanks. She could never hope to repay the woman for all the pain and suffering she helped Eva to avoid. The twice yearly trip downtown was a pilgrimage that Eva would take over and over again as long as she got the same results.

Bobbi Lynn gestured for Eva to sit on a couch in front of a walled off fireplace. The room was smaller than her formal living room, but Eva liked it more. Bobbi Lynn didn’t ascribe to the theory of interior decorating where rooms looked like something out of a magazine. The apartment looked lived in. Like a home.

Dropping into the cushions, Eva folded her hands in her lap as she waited for the other woman to open up what, to anyone who might be looking, was a sewing basket. Beneath the thimbles and thread was a small box that contained a zip lock bag of white, oval pills. Eva watched as Bobbi Lynn opened an unlabeled pill bottle and carefully counted them out. She counted along, until the number in her head reached one hundred and eighty.

One hundred and eighty doses of salvation.

The bottle was set on the coffee table between them. Eva had to resist the urge to lunge for it. Instead, she reached into her hand bag and pulled out a wad of crumpled bills. Carefully selected for the way they wouldn’t be missed, Eva spent all of the six months between trips uptown gathering the money and hiding it away.

Smoothing the bundle, Eva handed it over. Bobbi Lynn took the bundle and had the good grace not to count it. She simply folded the money over and tucked it into the cup of her bra. It was only then that Eva felt comfortable taking the bottle.

As casually as she could, she dropped it into the open cavern of her purse and snapped the bag shut, “Thank you.”

Bobbi Lynn smirked at her, “You’re one of my most loyal customers. I should be thanking you.”

Eva looked down, could barely meet Bobbi Lynn’s eyes, “I plan to be your loyal customer for a long time.”

Bobbi Lynn’s silence was so pointed that Eva could feel it resting heavily on her shoulders. She looked up, hoping that her expression was, if not neutral, at least pleased. Bobbi Lynn was looking at Eva with a little crease between her brows. Her mouth was turned down and her lips were thin. It wasn’t a look of displeasure, but it certainly wasn’t happy.

“Eva,” Bobbi Lynn said evenly, “I’m used to women of your status needing my services for a short while. I know your...situation is...unfortunate.”

Eva’s jaw clenched as she bit down on the words she wanted to say—a denial, a sharp barb to keep the woman at bay. The very fact that Bobbi Lynn was broaching the subject meant that her guard was not as good as it should be, was not perfect.

“What I’m saying is that if you need something more, I can provide it.”

Fixing her face with an imperious look, Eva let herself say, “What more can you do?”

It was very unlikely that Eva would ever ask Bobbi Lynn to do anything other than provide her with regular medication, but it never hurt to know that options were available to her.

Licking her lips, Bobbi Lynn hedged, “I have people, not nice people. But, people. They know how to get someone out of trouble.”

“You think I’m in trouble?”

“I think,” Bobbi Lynn said firmly, “that omegas who take those pills that you have in your bag for almost five years don’t want to be where they are. I think that those omegas would rather be somewhere else.”

She was right.

Even as she walked down the aisle in a dress that felt too tight and heavy, counting her steps all the way, Eva wanted very much to be somewhere else. She never once let on to her parents that she didn’t feel ready to be a wife. They were so happy when a doctor got on one knee and proposed. And, when the day came, she said her vows and signed the marriage license. It was all very tidy.

If only she had known what was waiting for her on the other side of ‘I do.’

“I’ll keep that in mind,” was all Eva could manage to say.

Bobbi Lynn’s mouth pursed, but she didn’t push that subject further, “You know my number.”

Rising, Eva breathed, “Yes.”

Standing with Eva, Bobbi Lynn walked with her to the door, “I’ll wait for your call in six months.”

“Yes,” Eva said again, “See you then.”

Tugging self-consciously at her scarf, Eva kept her head down as she moved quickly through the hall and down two sets of stairs to the front door of the apartment. It was a nice building in an upscale neighborhood, which afforded Bobbi Lynn the benefit of the doubt when it came to her more profitable business. A visit from Eva wouldn’t be out of the ordinary, would probably go completely unnoticed. But, this was too important to leave to ‘probably’.

Stepping out onto the sidewalk, Eva pulled out her keys and headed to where she parked the car she was allowed to drive. Handbag tucked into her belly, eyes on the ground at her feet, she could be forgiven for failing to notice the person running headlong in her direction.

Yelping, Eva would have fallen clean on her ass if a pair of hands hadn’t grabbed her by the forearms and held her steady. Her apology died on her lips as she stared up at a man who looked about as startled as she felt.

He was not much taller than her, but the breadth of his shoulders blotted out the sunlight so that she was standing in his shadow. Sweat dropped down from his temples, the collar of his t shirt. Clearly in the middle of an afternoon jog—which was a terrible idea in this heat—the man before Eva couldn’t seem to catch his breath.

Eva wished it were the same for her. Every inhale felt like fire in her lungs, burning so hot that it felt like her tongue would melt in her mouth. He smelled...divine. Tobacco and vetiver and—no, no, it couldn’t be. He could not be…

Alpha.

He was an alpha. And, he was touching her.

Stumbling backwards, Eva blinked rapidly in the vain hope of clearing her vision. It seemed to tunnel down to a pinpoint. The blackness seeped in at the edges so that all she could focus on was him.

“Lo—lo,” he stuttered, “siento.”

His voice was deeply accented, which she should have expected. He didn’t look at all like the men who lived in the city. Nor did he look like any of the men who lived in Louisiana, for that matter.

He looked…

“Beautiful.”

When his brows drew together in confusion, Eva realized that she’d said that word aloud. Hot with embarrassment, she tried to sidestep him only to find that he’d captured her wrist. His grip was loose enough that Eva could pull away easily if she wanted to. She didn’t. She was quite content to remain close to this man who smelled so good.

The skin on skin contact was almost unbearable. Too hot. Too full of sizzling electricity. She couldn’t hope to move when he was looking at her like that. No one had ever looked at her like that—with intrigue, with interest.

Pulling gently, he encouraged her to stand closer. Eva went, her breath shuddering. She felt like screaming. She felt like crying. She felt like curling into a little ball and hiding until this feeling went away. It overwhelmed her every defense, leaving her vulnerable.

And, in the same decadent breath, she found herself wishing it would never stop. The way he was looking at her, the heaviness of his hand on her arm. The scent that she never wanted to forget. Eva wanted to freeze this moment so that she could live within it forever.

“What’s your name?”

The question startled her so much that her teeth clacked together as her jaw clenched. She couldn’t be here. She couldn’t do this. It didn’t matter how much she wanted to stay. This feeling, this thing that was blooming inside her was something she knew she couldn’t control.

It overtook the emptiness that seemed to be all that she would ever know. It filled her with the worst possible feeling: hope. Eva could not afford to feel hope. Not with herself, certainly not with this stranger.

“I have to go,” she managed to bite out, desperate to get away and yet rooted to the spot.

“Please,” he said.

Please.

No one had ever begged her for anything. No one thought she had anything to give, not for a very long time. And, this man wanted her to stay, which was impossible. But, she couldn’t make herself go.

There was relief in his expression when he realized that she wasn’t running away. She could kiss him for that. It shocked her that she wanted to. Eva hadn’t wanted to kiss anyone in so long that she almost didn’t recognize the urge. She wanted it. A kiss that absolutely could not happen. There was no other reason for the way she couldn’t take her eyes from his mouth.

Her keys slipped from her fingertips, landing loudly at their feet. His eyes flicked down briefly before they lifted again to her face. He held her gaze as he knelt down and hooked his middle finger through the key chain. Rising slowly, he held it out to her.

“Thank you,” Eva breathed, reaching out.

As she took the keys from him, his hand flexed open so that the tips of his fingers brushed along her wrist and over her palm. Eva’s mouth opened to say something, but the words got stuck in her throat. All her brain cells were focused on the heat that pooled where he touched.

He was too close.

She wanted him closer.

“Tell me your name,” he demanded softly.

Her gut twisted, reminded that these were dangerous waters and she was already drowning. Her breaths grew short and labored, which was not helping. His scent was in her nose, filling her lungs, racing through her bloodstream.

He noticed her quickly rising panic and made a low, soothing sound as he grasped her by the elbows. She let him pull her back into the circle of his arms, her hands resting on his chest. He brushed the back of his hand against her cheek, catching on her scarf.

With a curious smile, he tugged it away from her face until it fell to her shoulders. His free hand moved from her elbow to the small of her back, anchoring her. Heart pounding, Eva watched him take in her hair and face, watched him smile as if he was pleased with her. Relieved that he seemed to like the way she looked, Eva’s hands curled into his shirt. The movement turned the keys in her hand, sunlight reflecting off the metal.

The sun reflected off something else, too.

Eva’s wedding ring glinted at her, a harsh reminder that this was not her husband and she shouldn’t be letting him hold her like this.

Frightened and angry with herself, Eva pushed away, saying, “I have to go!”

And then, because she knew if he got ahold of her again she wouldn’t have the strength to push away a third time, Eva ran.

Sprinted, really.

Uncaring that she’d left her scarf behind, Eva sprinted down the side walk and to her car. Keying in, she turned over the engine and turned the wheel to pull out into traffic. The whole drive home, Eva worked hard to calm herself down.

Her heart was palpitating in her chest, her skin felt like it would tear away from muscle and bone, her blood was boiling in her veins. Between her legs, she felt swollen and wet with a pressure that refused to abate no matter how hard she squeezed her thighs together.

Parking in the garage of her husband’s house, Eva was relieved that he hadn’t yet returned. Alexei’s car was also missing from its usual place in the driveway. The house was empty, which meant that Eva could get inside and to her room without having to explain why she smelled like stress and sex and alpha.

Purse in hand, Eva ran inside and through the kitchen to the stairs. Taking them two at a time, she turned down the hall and hustled to her bedroom. It was the one allowance her husband gave to her. A small, private space at the back of the house with a set of double doors that opened out onto the terrace.

Closing the door behind her, Eva moved quickly to the en suite bathroom. She had to get a shower, had to clear her skin of his scent. It wafted around her, bringing with it the memory of his hands as they moved over her body.

Her belly cramped hard enough that it took her breath.

Leaning heavily on the counter, Eva closed her eyes and tried to breathe through it. He was on her clothes, all over her hands. It made the cramping so much worse, but God was she desperate for it.

Pulling up the hem of her dress, Eva yanked off her underwear and stepped out of them. Resting her weight on one forearm, she cupped her mound and groaned. Her folds were covered in slick and very, very sensitive. She pressed her fingers into them hard, trying to assuage a rampant need that was almost entirely alien to her.

Outside of a heat, Eva rarely had any inclination to touch herself. Her marital bed was all but empty—had been since her husband decided that Eva couldn’t bear children. She was glad for it. Sex with him was quick, but painful. It was only during her first few heats that she knew that there could be any kind of pleasure in it.

But, those days were years away now. Not even Eva’s heat could tempt her husband back into bed with her. She rode them out as she did most things—alone.

This, though. This.

This feeling of urgency felt ungodly, unholy. It felt like she would die if she didn’t find him again. Did he run the same route every day? The memory of his labored breathing, the sweat on his brow was quickly applied to the thought of him laying atop her, pushing into her.

Fingers curling, Eva sank them inside her body. She remembered the heat of his hands, imagined that they were moving along the seam between her legs, adding pressure to her opening, stretching her. She inhaled deeply, taking in his scent with a strangled moan.

She turned her wrist and rolled her hips into her hand so that she could grind her clit against it. The added sensation burned through her, pushing her closer to the edge. Arching over the counter, Eva dropped her head into her hand.

The hand that had been curled into his chest.  The hand that still carried the scent of his body, his sweat.

Face turning, Eva mouthed along her palm, licking that scent from her own skin. It was mixed with hers, the combination heady and powerful enough to throw her into orgasm. She cried out, hand moving, lips pulled back from her teeth.

Knees buckling, Eva fell to the floor. With heaving breaths, she rubbed at her clit until she’d wrung every ounce of pleasure from it. When her legs began to protest the tile floor, she rolled to her hip and swung them around.

Her head felt like it was filled with cotton. Dizzy. Sated. Warm.

She leaned against the cabinet below the sink while she caught her breath. In a moment, Eva would get up and shower. She would fold this memory and the memory of the attractive man into the back of her mind. When things were bad, she would unfold it again and let herself think about what might have happened if she let him kiss her.

It would be a small, white-hot light in her very dark life.

[siren-serenity]

𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐇𝐖𝐀/𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐀 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐒 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

if you've read my 'about me' section, you probably might know that i love reading manwha/manga! the apps i primarily use are from tapas and webtoon so you might have/have not heard of some of these works. without further ado, let's get started!

↳˳;; ❝ 𝐓𝐀𝐏𝐀𝐒 ᵕ̈೫˚∗

romance ⋆·˚ ༘ * beware the villainess! ⋆·˚ ༘ * the villainess is a marionette ⋆·˚ ༘ * villainesses have more fun ⋆·˚ ༘ * i shall master this family ⋆·˚ ༘ * the male lead's little lion daughter (a/n: although it is under the romance section, it's currently non-romantic! it states it in the description, which made me put it here) ⋆·˚ ༘ * my boss's special request ⋆·˚ ༘ * the siren: becoming the villain's family ⋆·˚ ༘ * revenge on the real one ⋆·˚ ༘ * marriage of convenience ⋆·˚ ༘ * villains are destined to die ⋆·˚ ༘ * what it means to be you (a/n: caution! heavy mentions of depression and suicide, but the plotline is very interesting!) ⋆·˚ ༘ * cassmire: the loyal sword ⋆·˚ ༘ * writing my male lead's happily ever after ⋆·˚ ༘ * just leave me be ⋆·˚ ༘ * the perks of being a villainess

action ⋆·˚ ༘ * solo leveling (a/n: it's getting an anime adaptation yall!!) ⋆·˚ ༘ * the novel's extra ⋆·˚ ༘ * gourmet gaming ⋆·˚ ༘ * second try idol ⋆·˚ ༘ * rookie chef with the magic touch

↳˳;; ❝ 𝐖𝐄𝐁𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐍 ᵕ̈೫˚∗

romance ⋆·˚ ༘ * the remarried empress ⋆·˚ ༘ * secretary out-of-order ⋆·˚ ༘ * marry my husband ⋆·˚ ༘ * daytime star ⋆·˚ ༘ * serena ⋆·˚ ༘ * leveling up my husband to the max ⋆·˚ ༘ * maybe meant to be (a/n: ML, please just get contacts...i'm begging you) ⋆·˚ ༘ * operation: true love ⋆·˚ ༘ * your throne (a/n: two badass FL is all i can ask for :)) ⋆·˚ ༘ * for my derelict favorite ⋆·˚ ༘ * sixth sense kiss ⋆·˚ ༘ * my in-laws are obsessed with me ⋆·˚ ༘ * i thought my time was up!

action ⋆·˚ ༘ * omniscient reader (a/n: literally my #1 on webtoon! bro i'm addicted to the art and the storyline like hello please grant me those magical abilities tq) ⋆·˚ ༘ * the greatest estate developer (a/n: the mc is so funny like pls- his expressions lmao!! every other second the guy's like: "money, money, money, must be funny, in the rich man's world") ⋆·˚ ༘ * get schooled (honestly i loved this series so much that i binged all 100+ episodes in two days! it finished it's first season and i love each and every arc. the art was magnificient. the character development was amazing. i love it so much!!) ⋆·˚ ༘ * teenage mercenary (10/10 for real!! ijin is so badass, i love the entire concept and 006 can marry me. oh, and 005 can willingly have me as her puppet. i binged all 110+ episodes in two days also! right before exams- sue me, but goddamn i love the series) ⋆·˚ ༘ * lookism (holy shit this was a rollercoaster of emotions idk how i'm going to recover from it- ITS SO GOOD LIKE I JUST WANT MORE!! 400+ EPISODES CAN'T HOLD ME BACK I NEED MOREE)

horror ⋆·˚ ༘ * melvina's therapy (a/n: personally, i'm not into horror but i read a couple of chapters of this and loved it! the art is amazing, everything has so many intricate details that the author literally has to put a message at the end of each 'mini-story' to show the readers little easter eggs they sneaked in and i'm always like: wth??) ⋆·˚ ༘ * surviving romance (a/n: the art is so beautiful!! the plot is tso heartwrenchingly sad, funny, and gorgeous all at once! i binged read all 80+ chapters in two days hahaha)

[biglisbonnews]

What You Missed Last Month in New York City (According to Linux) This is What You Missed Last Month (According To Linux), in which nightlife it-girl Linux takes us behind the velvet rope and into the VIP section of Scene-City. Through her extreme (sometimes exaggerated) lens, Linux gives us the tea on what really happened at every party-of-the-century that floods our Instagram feeds. (A note from the author: don’t take what she says too seriously — she’s just a club kid after all).New Year, New Me! That’s the song we sing to ourselves (and others) at the end of each year. I believe the lyrics go: “my clothes will be looser, my lovers will be tighter and most importantly: my jokes will be funnier.” But what happens when 2023’s new dawn arrives, along with that promised new you, only to find that, as new as you may be, you aren’t necessarily a better you? What if how you looked online was not even close to how you arrived in the mail?Fresh into the new year, at a time meant for rebirth and positive reinvention, a slew of invasive thoughts entered my chat. Negative thoughts of self-doubt regarding my body image, career and overall life purpose ran through me like I’d never experienced before. Yes, kids: downtown it-girls have bad days too. So I tried a new diet and I tried a new lifestyle. In fact, I was willing to try anything in order to get out of my rut and into the best version of me. Sadly but unsurprisingly, the harder I tried to crawl to the surface, the deeper and deeper I fell down my little rabbit hole. Then, as I was begrudgingly sifting through a $20 kale Caesar salad for dinner, a path to solace from these meek and dreary voices that I had not yet traveled came into my mind’s eye. Here I was, trying so hard to behave... but what if what I really needed was to be bad? Alas, there was only one thing left for me to try: some good, old-fashioned nightclubbing.So I traded my homemade Bella Hadid Erewhon smoothie for a dirty vodka martini, popped on a pair of nine-inch heels and went dancing. On my very first night of the new year: I quickly realized it was here, under a disco ball in Bushwick, that the real new-and-improved me had been hiding. The best part? I wasn’t alone. From all different parts of our five boroughs, countless others who had also been going through their own versions of hardship joined me on the dance floor. Separate we may have arrived in a world of hurt and confusion, but together we danced in a universe of celebration.For years now, I’ve gone out nightly and written down each and every thing I see. I do it all so you, my loyal and fabulous readers, can have a taste of the things that make nightlife sooooo delicious. This January, New York showed a healing power to its wild, partying ways that I had never experienced before but desperately needed. So buckle up and prepare for the ride of your new life, because I’m about to tell you all about What You Missed Last Month. Onward to the New Year, New Me... and New York!NEW YEAR’S EVE: Y2RAVE See on Instagram For three years in a row, Ty Sunderland and I have thrown the best New Year’s Eve party that our city has ever seen. We started in 2020 at Brooklyn’s tried-and-true 3 Dollar Bill (before it was cool!) The demand for Y2Rave became so high (and I’m working for the bigwigs at AEG now) that it only made sense to move venues to the oh-so-massive Brooklyn Steel. The theme each year is something to do with Y2K culture. We’ve all had quite the year of self-discovery, so a break-out-of-the-matrix theme was the perfect fit. The room held thousands of club kids and gays alike, with Matrix Easter eggs placed around the club, like an old ‘90s NYC telephone booth and a pile of retro television sets. Leading up to the party, I directed a series of visuals alongside Matt Sparks starring New York cool kids Radical Pom, Airik Prince and Dombeef that would play over a giant LED wall behind our DJs. And girrrrrl did we have the DJs. All the way from Detroit, legendary father-daughter duo Floorplan played from 2-4 and kept the kids dancing until the wee hours of the early morning. Prior to that, after the midnight countdown, I stood on stage and poured multiple bottles of 1942 into the mouths of the most with-it partygoers and downtown it-people. Will we be back next year? Move over Times Square, I know a place with even bigger balls!NEW YEAR’S DAY: Battle Hymn See on Instagram Ringing in the new year did not stop at New Year’s Eve. Evenings become mornings and after a few short hours of refreshing ourselves, all of Scene City came back out and kept the party going well into January 2 at Ladyfag’s Battle Hymn. If you’re a regular reader of mine, you know the gist on Battle Hymn. But what made the New Year’s Day Battle Hymn so great was that all the amateur partiers had gone back into hiding from the night before. All that remained, while still a crowd of more than a thousand, were hardcore party-people, dance-o-holics and the most fabulous of junkies. If you were there, it was because you needed to be there. A good party makes a good party... but a great crowd makes a legendary party! January 12: Tom of Finland at Boom Boom Room See on Instagram It’s been a few months since the icon, the legend, the moment Susanne Bartsch threw a party at Boom Boom Room. That all changed when Bartsch announced a one-off party celebrating the Tom of Finland Foundation. With the hunky Coach Chris Keyloun set to make his Bartschland DJ debut, the overall vibe of the already-naughty Tom of Finland party was made even sexier. On a Thursday in January, Susanne Bartsch and her bubble of club kids wrangled together a massive aggregation of muscle gays in porn-staches and assless chaps. The night ended with Susanne’s now-regular DJ Arra closing the night and the butch-for-the-night attendees feeling extra juicy. Why do one-off’s have to be so good?January 21: Carry Nation at Good RoomFor more than a decade (yes... more than a decade!) New York-based DJ duo The Carry Nation has taken over Greenpoint venue Good Room and thrown the cuntiest Saturday night monthly in all of NYC. The main dance floor is the Good Room and the second side room is, well, the Bad Room. Back in November, The Carry Nation hit their 10-year anniversary of the recurring night. In New York, you’re lucky if you can throw one good party, not to mention ten years of good parties. Legends are legends for a reason; with their overarching musical talent as well as immaculate taste, it’s no surprise that, after all these years, Carry Nation at Good Room still hits. This month, CN newcomers Stiletto and Skin joined the duo on the decks, among other severely talented disc jockeys. I love this party because it feels like no one person is VIP, but rather everyone is a guest of honor.January 26: Demons at ParagonHello, taxi driver, I’d like to take a cab from Bushwick to Bushwick! And that’s exactly what I did when I found out Frankie Sharp was starting a new weekly Thursday night at Rave-Town’s hottest new spot, Paragon. Sister club to the infamous Bossa Nova Civic Club, Paragon is a somewhat new two-story club that has been gagging all of New York club culture lately. Combine that with the genius and craziness of Frankie Sharp, and you’ll be throwing up! This particular night, the outside temperature was almost down to 10 degrees. For most people that’s a bad thing, but for nightlife girlies like myself, it’s a sign of hope. Below-freezing temperatures end up being the nights when all the uncool, sane people stay home and the clubs are left with only the kookiest die-hard New Yorkers the city has to offer. To listen to the classic Frankie Sharp sound, stay on the top floor with the wraparound balcony. You’ll also find an array of live shows that happen here “late AF.” If you want lower ceilings and higher BPM, go downstairs to the club’s basement. Here you’ll get your life’s worth of hard-hitting techno coming out of CDJs propped on an old pool table in the foggiest of basements. Demons happens every Thursday; let’s hope Frankie Sharp stays in Brooklyn!January 28: Love Prism Disco at 3DB See on Instagram It’s been a minute since I’ve hit up Ye Ole 3 Dollar Bill. Every night at the Brooklyn gay club may be good, but not every night is major. On January 28, however, we got to experience one of the club’s major moments. Each month, for as long as I can remember, Ty Sunderland has thrown his color-coded half-disco, half-pop love letter to New York City with Love Prism. An integral part of Love Prism that stole the show this month was the intrinsic DJ set by Boyyyish, who played the peak hours of 12-2. Boyyyish gave the crowd a new sound that only makes sense for the next evolution of Love Prism Disco. Each month the party has a theme color and respective dress code; January’s was pink. Although most of the shirtless attendees did follow the dress code, you were only able to tell by looking closely at the pink t-shirts tucked into everyone’s back pockets. After the club lights came on at 4 AM, a large group of us stumbled to an after-hours a few blocks away that lasted well into the late morning. January 30: Glam Awards at Sony Hall See on Instagram Everything in nightlife this January led up to one final moment: the Glam Awards. For two decades, Cherry Jubilee has put on the show of the year to celebrate and honor countless New York Nightlife legends and newbies alike. Each fall, anyone who works in the industry receives a passcode that can be used to nominate their self-decided superlatives of the scene. The entire city votes in categories like “Best Party Host,” “Best Drag King,” and “Best Nightlife Event.” Every Glam Awards, the entire community comes out to Sony Hall in their fiercest attire for a chance to snatch home a trophy, cheer on their fav or boo their enemies. Related | Cherry Jubilee Tells All As the Glam Awards Celebrate its 19th YearNotable 2023 winners were Nicky O for Best Party Producer and P_A_T for Best DJ. All categories lead up to the Big Kahuna of Glammies: Entertainer of the Year, which was won by none other than Bootsie Lefaris. This was my second year being nominated for Best Nightlife Journalist, and after not winning last year, I worked my tight-and-right ass off all of 2022 to ensure a win home for PAPER and the billions of you that read this column. (Spoiler alert: I won!) A nightlife journalist is nothing without her readers, so for this award I’ll forever be indebted to you — yes, you, whose eyes are following this sentence right now. The night ended with everyone together as winners, losers and viewers, after-partying our faces off at Hush in Hells Kitchen. And by February 1? Those rotten voices I had stuck in my head at the new year seemed to fade away. This month, unlike any others before, NYC proved to me that therapy comes in many forms... and mine just so happens to be a loud room full of not-so-cool-kids with the fog machine on high. Photography, styling and hair: Airik Prince Art direction: Chris Correa Clothing: Nasty Pig and H&M https://www.papermag.com/linux-nyc-new-year-2659389652.html

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2022!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

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79. You’d Be Home Now by Kathleen Glasgow--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

TW: Drug abuse, bullying, death & grieving, depression, toxic parenting.

This author's books are always so tough to read because of the topics they explore. It took me a while to finish this audiobook because it is a very emotionally heavy read. This particular one was heartbreaking because things seemed to get worse and worse for the MC and as a reader, I felt so helpless. The one thing that I think took away from this otherwise very impactful story was how the issue of the toxic parenting was handled. While I think the MC's father had some fantastic character growth, her mother's "growth" felt forced. I understand her fear and her reactions to some of the situations, but I think that particular point of "Go easy on your mom" is, to be completely frank, bullshit. I always see this kind of narrative as a get out of jail free card for some parents who are destructively controlling of their children and create toxic environments. [Potential spoiler] Even when the MC has reached the climax of her situation, it isn't her parents who help her come back from the black hole she's fallen into. Besides that, I found this to be an eye-opening and heartbreaking story of one girl's love for her brother and his battle with drug abuse, grief, guilt, and the incredible stress, bullying, and pressures he faces when he comes back in the beginning of the book. If you're going to read this book, be aware of the potential triggers, because there are many.

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80. A School Frozen in Time Vol. 2 by Naoshi Arakawa & Mizuki Tsujimura--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

While I'm still not the biggest fan of this artwork, the story is really, really compelling. I find that this series digs really well into the mindsets of the typical student tropes, like the nerd, the popular one, the sensitive student, etc. And in doing so, we get these sometimes heartbreaking backstories that add more life to the overall plot and bring up more questions for the overall mystery of who ended their life. Why are these students there? Who is keeping them there? I can't wait to find out. Also, nice cliffhanger!

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81. A Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I listened to the audiobook of this one for a book club and I'm glad I gave it a shot. I wasn't the biggest fan of Tremblay's other novel, The Cabin at the End of the World, so I was a little worried about this one. Thankfully, I enjoyed this one a lot more. It was spooky, thought-provoking, and gross in a way that I encourage you to consider whether you actually want to eat whatever it was you were going to eat while reading the book. The audiobook narrator was great because she added a whole other level to the creepiness by acting out multiple voices. This book makes me feel a bit more hopefully for Tremblay's other novels! Also, that ending left me with some questions!

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82. Certain Dark Things by Silvia Moreno-Garcia--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I enjoyed this one, but it wasn't a favourite. This is definitely one of those books that has a lot of intriguing things happening and has some pretty great grey characters--I think this is perfectly shown with that conclusion (which I had to listen to twice just to make sure I captured what was being said there). Also, there was a pretty cool Stephen King easter egg that made my nerdy self giggle. I did enjoy this author's take on vampires, to the point where I wish there were more stories set in this world. There is so much potential and this was a pretty good foundation for more stories set in this world! I'd recommend this book to fans of vampires, morally grey characters, and dogs because there's an adorable and loyal pup.

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83. Biased by Jennifer L. Eberhardt--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I went into this expecting one thing and got a whole other, more complex thing and I'm really happy that it was more than I thought it would be. In this book, there are personal stories experienced by the author and others she has interviewed that will make you either really upset or really angry. The level of influence bias has on the world is incredible. We know of some of the more obvious ones, but reading about tests done to truly test these theories is jarring. While reading this book, I kept thinking back to my own experiences--either at the hand of others' biases of who I am as a mixed Latina and what I represent, or seeing others exercise their biases against coworkers, friends, and strangers. It also made ME more aware of my own biases that I carry around and am always actively trying to recognize (especially after more companies like my own work introduced bias training into our yearly learning.) I think the first great step of effectively fighting bias is becoming aware of its existence, and it truly can live in any aspect of your social or private life. I'm finding, also, that reading more and more books like this one has made me want to talk about these topics more. I'm curious about the mental process of others and it sometimes feels like I'm looking at the world through a different lens. Eberhardt does such a great job of explaining her findings, incorporating experiences that we can either relate to or feel a certain emotion for, and introducing this world that may be new to many people. The power of bias is greater than some people think and it is incredibly damaging. I highly recommend this book and being an audiobook fan, I encourage you to listen to the audiobook (if you enjoy them). Eberhardt narrates it herself and the emotion she puts behind her writing is incredibly powerful!

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84. Hide & Seeker by Daka Hermon--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book was interesting and a bit spooky. I'm intrigued by how terrifying some MG is starting to get. If I gave this book to a kid, they'd be afraid to play hide and seek again (or at least be wary of cheating LOL). There was a moment in this book, however, that touched on the wariness of black kids being approached by a police officer. I appreciated seeing that while these kids are living a crazy and scary adventure, they still have to face the real dangers of the society they inhabit--like them encountering their own and much more realistic fears. I say appreciated because this is something that a black child and even an adult reading this book can relate to in an otherwise fantastical novel. It showed me that even though the story is about something else, that everyday moment can still slip in there. The concept of this book was really intriguing, especially because of the lessons of friendship, family, grief, and understanding that were laced into the scary events. The monster and its abilities were creepy and I think this will make for an excellent October read! I'd recommend this for fans of MG horror, and for the child in your life that likes to be kept up at night both by a good story and by monsters.

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Have you read any of these? Would you recommend them?

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Happy reading!

[with-love-anu]

Quills and Ink

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader Summary: Sirius gets anonymous letters from someone really sweet and falls for her. Warnings: It’s just fluff, no warnings to give! Word Count: 1,903

Sirius sat grumpily eating his breakfast. His head was throbbing due to last night’s endeavors and he wanted to gobble in all sorts of grease he could get. He piled his plate with bacon and fried egg when a school owl landed in front of him. He furrowed his brows. Who would write to him? He carefully took the letter out and opened it reading.

Dear Sirius,

Charms’ not an easy subject. The summoning charm they taught us yesterday is no different. For performing a summoning charm, you must clearly, and I mean clearly visualise the object you are summoning, like your favourite cookie. You could see it in your mind the sandy coloured biscuit full of dark brown choc chips, some edgy some melting. You could practically sniff its sweet smell and you want it right now, you need it. You say accio cookie with a small hand movement, imagining it coming towards you. And there you go, you have it. You can practice it over and over again and I am sure you’ll get used to it.

I just, I have always seen you excelling in every single class, and when you couldn’t do the spell yesterday, I thought maybe I’ll help. The professors having taught the same things a million times already, aren’t enthusiastic and somewhat, vague. Anyways, happy learning!

A fellow student.

Sirius smiled at the odd letter. He turned it around to find a name but there was none. The owl had already flown away.

Sirius closed his eyes taking his wand in his hand. What’s the harm in trying again? Accio muffin! Sirius grinned as a muffin zoomed towards him. Finally. He had done his best yesterday, but couldn’t perform the spell. He munched on the little cake happily. He felt satisfied; thinking about the sweet letter reading it again. Who could it be? He smiled, he wanted to meet this anonymous helper.

***

Sirius was sitting on the quidditch stands when a school owl came in. He smiled and his eyes widened. The person wrote him another letter? Telling the owl to wait; he opened it. It hooted indignantly but did just the same. He smiled realising he was right.

Dear Sirius,

I know you love teasing the Slytherins, but you need to understand that the group you hate is rather small. My friend who is in Slytherin was exhausted ridding their supplies from the red paint and gold glitter which you drenched their common room in. You know, this friend I am talking about is so damn sweet and couldn’t even hurt a fly. They have been loyal to me since the first year and have gone out of their ways to make me smile.

I am not asking you to stop pranking, but make your targets specific. Let me be honest here, I hate Mulciber’s gut as much as I hate sardines, and that’s a lot. And you know, harmless pranks are good too; specially if they make the targets smile and laugh along with you.

A fellow student

Sirius quickly summoned a sheet and started writing. Whoever this person was, was funny, and seemed to have a great personality.

Dear fellow student,

Firstly I want to thank you for your help in charms. I could do it on the first try after reading your explanation. *wink*

Secondly, I am sorry about your friend, maybe we do take it too far at times. I’ll make sure me and my friends don’t allow our pranks to affect ~innocents~. Speaking about pranks, I would love to hear more about those harmless ones you were talking about.

And thirdly, don’t you think it’s bad that you know me well enough to notice how I do in charms and I don’t even know your name? You seem like a fun person, sign the next letter with your name?

Sirius.

Sirius tied the letter to the owl and said, “Give it to the person who gave this to you”

***

Time passed and Sirius and a fellow student continued to exchange letters. Sometimes they were short, sometimes long and there wasn’t one where Sirius didn’t plead to find out who it was.

He showed some to his friends, others he kept to himself as his own little box of pleasure. James never failed to tease him and Remus would give him a knowing smirk whenever he didn’t let anyone touch those pieces of paper which had somehow become very close to his heart. No one missed the crimson blush that coloured Sirius’s cheek whenever he was asked about this very adorable fellow student. He kept every single one of the notes, trinkets, and gifts in a shoe-box hidden under his bed.

An empty box of an exclusive collection of handmade treacle tarts shrunk in size with the note which came along with it was tucked neatly in the box. Sirius had received it when he had got a nasty letter from back home during one morning. He had thought no one noticed but apparently he was wrong. The note said-

Dear Sirius,

You can never change people, make them see you or appreciate you or love you for that matter. Nothing in this world is fair and we take what is given to us. I know you got a letter from your parents this morning and over the years I’ve come to assume that they aren’t the most loving ones. We need you to remember you are an amazing person. So, gobble up these amazing chocolates while writing down things that are great about you. Let me start-

1.     You are funny / sarcastic. I don’t know anyone who could make McGonagall crack a smile and the moment you did it, I knew you were special

2.    You’re VERY intuitive. I saw you damn so many times calming down or walking various students through breakdowns, anxiety attacks; you know just what the person needs.

3.    Smart, that’s one thing about you not everyone sees, but come on; people should know those mischievous ideas need a brainy person behind them.

Your turn now, be as selfish as you could be!

A fellow student

A bouquet of lavender on which Sirius casted an everlasting spell, and an empty bottle of Chamomile tea made by an American company had come with a short note- “Put those flowers under your pillow, they help”. He ran his hand through them remembering feeling so touched when he received; he actually shed tears because he hadn’t slept all week and was exhausted to death.

There was a pile of books too. They contained all the famous muggle comics, which he had received when a fellow student had rambled on about their favourite superheroes and Sirius had admitted not understanding a thing in the long write up. He had read every single one of them more than thrice. Along with them, there was a detailed magazine on different motorbikes; their prices, their quality, talks about their engine. Sirius had gasped when he received it. The small note on it had said- “Even though I am sure I am going to regret this; because these are dangerous machines and you are one reckless person; I know your fascination with them and always love to see you smile. Just promise me you’ll read everything on the safety precautions page.”

There was a small key chain with paws on it, he got on Easter. He had barked out laughing seeing it (pun intended). He didn’t think you would remember something he wrote so offhandedly about. The note had said- “Since you were so adamant that you would be a dog if you were an animal!”

It was becoming incredibly frustrating. He was cautious of all the people who noticed him in classes, trying to guess who it was, which was futile since a major part of school turned to him whenever he entered the room. He was desperate, he was falling, hard. If the love they all gushed about, wasn’t what he felt; then he didn’t know what was. And he didn’t even know who it was! All he knew that your nickname was (Y/n/n) and you were in (Y/h) house. He felt stupid wanting you.

He had tried and failed trying to follow the owl to find you. Halfway to reaching you the owl had turned and bit him until he was forced to stop stalking it. Yeah, that had hurt. He tried to cast a monitoring spell on it so as to track it on the marauders map. The owl had realised something was going on as it fluttered and scratched his face red with it’s claws.

He took a pen and paper and ran to the owlery. As he entered the owlery, he saw someone was already there. (Y/n Y/L/n). She was a fellow student. They attended various classes together. Her eyes widened seeing him, and she quickly turned to what she was doing. Wait a fellow student! Can it be?

“Hi (Y/n), what brings you here?” he asked noting her reactions.

She stumbled.

“I… Just posting a letter.”

“Oh, how’s Abernathy’s health?” Sirius asked nonchalantly. Abernathy was (Y/n/n)’s sister who had caught a bad case of dragon pox.

“She’s better. The healer said- “(Y/n)’s mouth opened in realisation. Sirius smiled. He had finally found her.

“I…I…” (Y/n) stuttered looking at Sirius’s wide grin.

“I’m gonna go.” She said flustered and turned to leave.

Sirius quickly ducked in and grabbed her hand. “Don’t go” he pleaded.

(Y/n) slowly turned. She looked everywhere but him.

“Why did you not tell me?” Sirius asked quietly making her look up.

“I was afraid. I am really shy and I accept it. I’ve had a crush on you since forever and was quite sure I wouldn’t be able to talk to you face to face. I- I thought that when you realised that it was me writing you all those letters, you wouldn’t want to talk to me anymore.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to talk to you?” Sirius asked frowning.

(Y/n) let out a scoff.

“Oh come on! I see the type of people you are always with. Tall, beautiful, smart. Why would you even look at me!” She said mirthlessly.

It was Sirius’s turn to scoff.

“Are you kidding me?” Sirius asked incredulously. “Do you even own a mirror? That little (Y/f/c) colour dress you wore last weekend. Darling, I am sorry to inform you but you turned heads. I’ve always noticed you. You just light up when you talk to your friends and have that brilliant smile on your face. Before, you started writing to me you were just pretty; now I know you’re beautiful. You’re so full of kindness and generosity. Your letters never failed to bright up my day. You’re funny, sarcastic and motivated. I love that you could make me smile at the worst of times. I love that you constantly talk about made up heroes and heroines who could take on the world. I love that you care so much about your family that you write to them every other day. I love everything about you. I love you.” He breathed.

“You what?” you whispered.

“I love you” Sirius repeated.

“Good, cause I don’t know what I would have done you hadn’t told me soon” you sniffed a little, smiling.

���Come with me to hogwarts this weekend, you know, on a date.” Sirius asked as you gulped and nodded. Sirius smiled widely and you were sure your own expression mirrored his.

A/N: Let me know what you think!

[kn1feinthec0ffee]

in too deep (part 5) - jules

jules x reader

TW: drugging

warnings: beating, homophobia, threat of death, i think that’s pretty much it??

notes: ooooohhh we’re getting closer to the end! not that i’m excited for this to end, but i’m just excited for you guys to see it

i really hope that me putting homophobia in this story doesn’t make you guys think i’m homophobic bc that’s the farthest thing from true. since i changed the gender of the mickey stand-in, i felt like it might be more interesting to add another dynamic into the story so it wasn’t just a word for word copy of the original except with a girl, bc that seems really one-dimensional to me. i feel like i need to put one of those things they have in movie credits like “the views in this film in no way reflect the views of the studio that produced it” kinda thing

also i think this may be my favorite part that i’ve written, bc if you didn’t notice, i’ve never left the reader’s perspective during the whole thing, so i had to improv a bit during the parts of the movie we didn’t get to see with mickey, and maybe i’m just a lil proud of myself :’)

******************************

for the first time since you came up with your brilliant plan to siphon the gas, you actually felt a glimmer of hope. jules was smart, she’d surely find a way out of the house; and she was damn loyal, too, so you knew there was no chance she’d leave you behind. 

sadly all those hopes were dashed when you heard the basement door creak open again. 

fuck, this whole plan was dependent on the fact that no one else came downstairs! your hands clammed up, your heart rate quickening as footsteps descended the stairs, stopping dead in their tracks once they reached the bottom. 

  “where the hell’d that little bitch go?” george roared, scanning every nook and cranny in the basement to see if jules was hiding anywhere. “answer me!”

you stayed silent, more out of fear than some sort of strategy. you quickly realized this was the wrong decision as george viciously backhanded you across the face. your head whipped to the side, eyes blinking back into focus from the impact. you felt something sticky on your lips and realized it was blood. 

  “you’re so angry,” you groaned. “why? just ‘cause you’re shooting blanks?” you pouted in mock sympathy. this sudden boost of confidence seemed to be a mistake as you saw george’s expression shift into a dangerously content one. 

  “i’m gonna rip your fuckin’ heart out.” your face dropped as he spoke. “i understand you not wantin’ to tell me where she is. in fact, if i were in your position i suppose i’d do the same. but god almighty i’m gonna watch ya’ die. i’m gonna hurt ya’.”

you were stunned into silence but you decided saying something, anything, would be better than nothing. “she’s gone, man. you just need to give it up.”

this seemed to strike a nerve in him. he turned towards you again and delivered another swift slap, knocking the wind out of you. he smacked you again, the back of your head knocking into the pole and causing your consciousness to fade for a moment. 

  “you think i’m full of hot air, don’t you? only good on roughin’ you up?” he asked rhetorically. “you know i worked as a door-to-door salesman for a few years? learned a lot, but the most important thing i learned was how to read people. and at the end of the day, you’re just an open book, sweetheart.”

the name sounded like poison dripping from his lips. it made you sick, that name belonged to jules. 

  “i know your type, believe you me, i’ve seen quite a few in my time. you see, you like to think you’re tough, strong, resilient, but at the end of the day, you just value her life above yours.” he laughed to himself. “am i right?”

he chuckled again when you didn’t answer. “that’s alright, you don’t have to answer, i know i’m right. well, you people are more loyal than i thought. guess i gotta give credit where credit’s due.”

  “fuck you.” you spat. “don’t fucking talk about her like that.” he stood up again, this time grabbing something from a shelf before making his way back to you. 

  “alright, no more pussyfootin’ around, time to get down to business.” he revealed the knife, positioning it under your ear as he prepared to slice it off. 

  “sheisn’tgoingtothecops!” you breathed out quickly, hoping he’d let you keep both ears with the statement. 

  “what? what’d you say?” he seemed caught of guard by the sudden admission, backing off of you. 

  “not yet, anyway.” you took a moment to catch your breath. “i told her to wait. yeah, we got a little meet up spot. now if i don’t show up there in an hour or so, then yeah, cops galore. you’re fucked, buddy. but, if i do show up, we just continue on our way like none of this happened.”

you took another shaky breath before you continued. “if we’re being honest here, i don’t want the cops involved any more than you do. y’know, the whole ‘not gainfully employed’ thing? the cops aren’t a huge fan of that one.”

george seemed to take this into consideration, nodding quietly to himself. “what about sweetiepie?”

  “her? i don’t give a fuck about her, she’s the whole reason i’m in this mess.” you winked at her, hoping she’d understand the message. 

george snapped the blade shut, producing the key from to the cuffs from his jacket pocket. 

------------------------------

  “any last words for this son of a bitch?” george asked gloria as he trained the pistol on you.

  “oh, i do wish you’d handled things differently. we could’ve had somethin’ beautiful here.” she smiled sadly, mourning what could’ve been. 

  “i’ll see you in hell,” george mumbled as he opened the door for you. you stepped into the doorway, only to stop dead in your tracks when you heard your girlfriend’s voice. shit.

  “stop, don’t kill her!” jules shouted from the top of the steps, baby doll in hand. “i will smash it!” she held it over the railing, dangling precariously above the hardwood flooring beneath. 

  “whew, that was close.” george laughed, closing the door behind you. “unhand my baby!” gloria whined. 

  “alright, missy, calm down. no one’s gonna get hurt.” he kept the gun aimed at your head, but gloria quickly pried it out of his hands and took a shot at jules. she crouched to shield herself from the bullet that thankfully missed, but in doing so let go of the baby that plummeted to the floor, shattering into hundreds of pieces. 

  “get your ass down here or i’ll blow her brains out!” george shouted gruffly as jules descended the staircase. she ran to you, hugging you close and helping you to stand on your injured leg. 

gloria rushed out of the room, bloody pieces of ceramic in hand as george turned back to you. “look what you gone and did. what did i do to deserve you two?”

------------------------------

  “cooking’s a zen art for my dear gloria. i’ve found there’s a method to it: the more upset she is, the bigger the dish it takes to pull her out.” george explained. “needless to say, i think the two of you just summoned up a banquet.”

the two of you had been crudely duct-taped to some chairs in the dining room, forced to listen to the stuffy dialogue between the husband and wife. “why? why do you keep her down there?” jules asked. 

  “it’s not what you think.” he looked over his shoulder to make sure she wasn’t listening. “my gloria, she’s always wanted a child. unfortunately, the good lord did not have that in his plans for us. so, i had to take matters into my own hands.”

  “oh, so you kidnapped her.” jules stated bluntly. george glared at her, but continued his explanation. 

  “as you get older, things get... complicated, and i swear to god i had no ill intentions. i just wanted to make my wife happy.” he smiled. “and she was for a bit, until she started to remind her of what she couldn’t have. she asked me to make her go away, but i couldn’t bring myself do that, so the basement is our compromise.” 

  “dinner is served!” gloria announced, wheeling in a cart full of dishes of shepherd’s pie. she placed one on everyone’s plate before she sat down. they quickly said grace before digging into their food. 

  “so are you guys gonna kill us or...? what’s the deal?” jules asked matter-of-factly. you wanted to nudge her shoulder and ask her what in the hell made her so bold, but you didn’t want to cause a scene. 

  “george, you didn’t tell them?” gloria asked confusedly. “i wanted to make ‘em squirm a bit,” he smirked. 

  “t-tell us what?” you cursed yourself for stuttering but you couldn’t help it, it came out when you were anxious. 

  “we’re not gonna kill you.” george mumbled, almost sounding disappointed. “i said we’re not gonna kill ‘ya, what are you deaf?” you stifled a grin at jules, not wanting to change their decision to set you free. “we’ve decided that, despite your piss-poor behavior, the logistics of it just don’t make no sense for us.”

  “sooner or later someone’s gonna come lookin’ for you two. now, i can hide a body like the easter bunny hides an egg, but the two of you have been sweatin’, spittin’, and pissin’ all over this place.” he paused to take a sip of his drink. “anywho, i’m bound to miss a spot. i figure we have a better chance of hitting the road. we’ll give it 48 hours, tip off the police, they’ll come by and pick ya’ up. i reckon you’ll do some time for whatever the hell you two did, but at least you’ll still be drawing breath. so congratulations, you should be thankful. you just won the damn lottery.”

jules spared a glance at you as if to say, what now? “take your time eatin’ you got another couple days in those chairs.” george muttered as he took another bite of his meal. 

screw it, you thought. we’re hungry and going to jail in the next two days, what harm could a nice meal do? you both picked up your forks and knives and tucked in to the plate in front of you. you nearly let out a moan in satisfaction as the food hit your tongue. you scooped up more greedily as you had no clue if and when the next time you’d get fed would be. 

  “wait,” jules swallowed the food in her mouth. “what’s gonna happen to her?” gloria glanced over to george, waiting for the answer to the question as well.

  “well, i’m sure they’ll put her some place nice. these orphanages, i hear they’re like five-star resorts.” george answered. 

  “does that upset you?” gloria turned to jules, a smile of mock empathy on her face. “anything’s better than down there.” jules mumbled. 

  “you got a heart of gold, jules. is your full name julia?” jules nodded in response. “my mother’s name was julia. she had a good heart, too, you remind me of her.”

  “she died of cancer when i was real little. it was a slow, painful process, but i was with her every step of the way!” she grinned as her husband blew her a kiss. “the day before she died, she told me to look in the closet, that i’d find a special surprise for me in there. it was a package, wrapped up nice and pretty, with a tiny card with my name on it. she insisted i opened it, so i wiped away my tears, tore open the paper and there it was. a doll.” 

everything stilled. every sound, the scraping of cutlery on the plate, the sound of everyone breathing, even the breeze blowing through the window decided this was a nice time to take a break. 

  “she said it was a magic doll,” she continued. “that no matter how sad i became, and believe me, i became very sad, i’d always have him with me. my ethan.”

your gut instincts finally kicked in as you spat out the food that was in your mouth, the gross pile of chewed up beef and potatoes looking oddly blurry to you. jules looked equally as mortified, probably even more since she was the one who brought about the end of the magic doll. 

  “and she was right; he was magical. and you took him away from me.” she grinned her creepy stepford wife grin once more. jules mumbled something but everything sounded miles away from you as your head swam. 

  “wha-what is this?” you slurred, the bright colors of the table morphing into one another. 

  “this is a drug overdose, y/n.” he chuckled when you sluggishly turned your head towards him. “i know, i know, i fibbed about lettin’ you live, but see, you had a veritable pharmacy in that bag of yours. you two just munched down enough pills to put a bull to bed,” his voice muffled into indiscernible nonsense, though you knew he was still speaking. 

  “f-fuck you,” jules managed, still keeping her head up. you, on the other hand, were slumped over, teetering on the edge of unconsciousness. 

george got up from his seat, pulling your head up by your hair. “not so tough now, are ya’?” he jested. 

jules muttered something in your defense, but as soon as your head dropped, you were down for the count; just missing the hopeful ring of the doorbell, possibly signaling you might live to see another day. 

******************************

i should probably put a link to previous parts at the top but i have no clue how to do that lol

tags: @emmyrosee​ @flowers-in-your-hayr​ @willyourecognisemee​ @bill-skarsgard-owns-my-ass​

[rachaelslibrary]

Let’s Talk Books - Iron Gold by Pierce Brown

Or the alternative title “The Kids are Grownup”.  This book follows ten years after the Red Rising Trilogy, and catches everyone up with what happened since Darrow and crew “won” their war and Mustang became Sovereign.  It also introduces several new characters and side plots and is an overall BRICK of a book.

I say that it’s a brick lovingly, but also for a reason.  Six hundred pages of political plots, tension, and backstory to explain what happened during the missing decade.  There isn’t as much action in this book as there is in the original trilogy, and this one definitely feels much more “adult” than the previous three.  This is a reread for me, and I remember the first time I read through it, it took me a while since it had been so long since I read the originals. This time, reading it directly after the first three, it definitely was easier to understand.  Little Easter eggs stood out more and I wasn’t as confused reading about past events that had happened and wondering “did I just forget about it?” The answer is NO, you didn’t forget about it, it just happened in between books.

Long story short, if you enjoyed Red Rising, you’ll still enjoy this book, but go into it knowing that it is not nearly as fast paced and feels a bit clunky at times.  HOWEVER, I definitely enjoyed it more the second time through, felt all the feels, laughed all the laughs, etc.  It’s a great addition to the series and I like that it kind of separates itself from the original trilogy because it definitely has a different overall vibe.  The next book in the series (Dark Age) has the same more adult vibe, but adds more of the original action that we all know and love.  Iron Gold is a great opening act to the trilogy of Darrow’s adult life.

Alright, so into the nitty gritty.  Iron Gold has four POV characters, a stark difference to the one of the original three.  Of course Darrow is one of them.  He’s a renowned war hero, legend and practically a god across the new Republic, but he’s also tired.  He’s barely been home to see his son or wife in the last ten years and he fears that he’s losing out on a relationship with them.  His storyline really takes off when he takes his control of the military way to far and decides to go off on his own against the Senate’s will.  Of course Sevro is there to help him along.

Then there’s Lyria, a red whose family was liberated from the mines and taken to a sort of “assimilation camp” until the Republic can figure out what to do with them.  The assimilation camp is it’s own kind of mine though, with disease rampant, food scarce, and people living on top of each other in one bedroom tents.  An attack on their camp leaves Lyria in charge of her young nephew, and she has to take matters into her own hands to create a better life for them.

Ephraim might be a name familiar to you if you have a good memory.  Remember way back at the beginning of Morning Star, Holiday’s brother Trigg who died getting Darrow out of the Jackal’s prison?  It’s his fiance.  After Trigg died Ephraim worked for the Rising, but now he works as a thief.  His storyline starts when he’s forced to take a job that has the payout of a lifetime, but also the biggest risks he’s ever taken.

And finally....Lysander au Lune.  We remember him as the ten year old grandson of the Sovereign who watched her be beheaded and was taken under Cassius’ wing.  Now he’s twenty-years-old, has been out in the asteroid belt with Cassius this whole time being a sort of vigilante and rescuing people from space pirates.  But when they answer a distress call and find a mysterious gold girl, they’re pulled back into the old political feuds of the Rim, and it doesn’t end well.

Pierce Brown does a great job of weaving everyone’s story lines together while keeping them on separate planets, all the while bringing up old story lines from the original trilogy that we all thought were wrapped up.  (Spoiler alert: They aren’t).  It’s really a great read and thoroughly enjoyable but be prepared to spend more time and focus in this book than the previous ones.  All in all, a great opener to the new trilogy.  4/5 stars.

Now without further ado, please view my spoilery rants :)

Damn I don’t know where to begin.  I guess I can start with my absolute faves, and that’s Darrow, Mustang, Sevro, and Victra.  I love how they’re raising their children together (Sevro and Victra now have three daughters with a fourth on the way), and how Sevro and Darrow are still best friends and so loyal to each other even though this much time has passed.  The end where Sevro gets so mad at Darrow because he won’t go back to Luna broke my heart, but I’m also 100% on Sevro’s side because I do believe that Darrow has started to buy into his own myth.

What made their argument even worse though was that at the time they were fighting about going back to rescue their children, we as readers thought the children were safe and on the way to Mustang so it was kind of a “Don’t fight, they’re okay just call your wives” moment.  Of course, at the end of it the ship that the kids were on crash landed so it’s kind of a good thing that Sevro is on his way back to help but still...

On the topic of my faves, I love how Sevro is almost just as much of a legend as Darrow.  Like they really are famous across the solar system, and feared.  When Lyria tells Liam to “be brave like the Goblin.” It’s like damn...even kids know who they are and they know that Sevro’s nickname is the goblin.  Look at my babies being so successful. 

Also Electra....she’s great.  That’s literally all I have to say about her.  When Ephraim was looking at her and thinking she was a kid but then also remembering who her parents are so she must be psychotic...I laughed.  Like this little girl is a force to be reckoned with and it’s all because of her parents.

There’s one quote in particular that stood out to me.  When Mustang was threatening Ephraim about running away she says “One night you will wake in the middle of the dark and find a shadow standing over you.  If you are lucky, it will be me.  If you are unlucky, it will be Sevro or my husband, and you will die shitting yourself in a foreign bed.” Like I just love so much how they’ve all made names for themselves, and it seems like the four of them are really a unit instead of just two couples raising their kids who occasionally get together.

By the end of the book, with everything just starting to kind of fall apart, I was emotionally exhausted.  But that’s a good thing!! Because it means I was just that invested in what was going on.

Few more little notes: Lysander, I started off liking you but then you made some dumb decisions.  Like I don’t really blame you for some of them but like...you opened the vault because you didn’t want this girl that kind of betrayed you to die.  Like come on man.  Also for Cassius but he wanted to die.  You should have just let him.

Also Apollonius....I want a novella or short story or something about when he broke into Darrow’s house to kill him.  There’s a line about Darrow waking up with a shadow standing over him that was Apollonius...I want to know exactly what happened there.  Did Darrow somehow win even though he was sleeping with no armor and weapons?  Did they know Apollonius was coming?  Did Mustang save the day?  These are things I need to knowwwwwww.

What we got of Victra was great, but I needed more of her.  Her and Sevro’s proposal/wedding/just relationship in general in Morningstar was my favorite and I need more of them being together as a married couple.

[eisukeskitchenknife]

Masquerade Kiss, Kazuomi Shido: a review

Overall: 4/10 wouldn’t recommend AT ALL

[no specific spoilers to the story]

If I were to be honest, I was part of the gang of people who swore they wouldn’t play the new Voltage game- due to the introduction of love choice. However my paycheck came in earlier than expected and my bills were already paid for. I’m sorry but I had to indulge.

I wasn’t to start on lighter notes, so here are the positives:

- I love the MC, she is grounded, bold, and not as “airheaded” as other MC’s. She has a lot of confidence, and I would love to see a similar powerful MC throughout other games.

- there were small Easter eggs throughout the games which made the game a little more fun.

- to get straight to the point, it was sexy. There was more body contact throughout the story- though the MC doesn’t let any man in bed with her easily.

Negatives:

Oh boy there is so much of them.

-the expenses. Though Love Choice seems to promote the notion as being “free stories” since you can’t directly buy hearts with money, it’s still very expensive. To put into perspectives: I decided to pick every premium choice. From just the daily spinner, I’ve collected 75 hearts so far. By the end of the game, I had bought 70 more hearts (which is about $7). If someone who didn’t have any hearts to begin with played, they would’ve had to spend about $14 to get all premium routes. This is extreme compared to the normal $4 games.

-someone might argue my first point by saying the game had about 25 episodes, so it must be more expensive. The episodes were SHORT. Not all episodes, but I’ve timed some episodes to be under 3 minutes. Of course I’m a fast reader but that is incredibly short. You’re just going through episodes without content. And I played this game in one sitting, and to be honest, I’ve played main stories with only 14 episodes that took longer.

-I know this is a joke around the community but Kozuomi is truely Walmart eisuke. I’ve seen a lot of similarities between them, and they possess almost the same personalities. They simply jacked up the money in this guy. This guy literelly ownes hotels as well.

-the plot was rushed. I remeber playing it and seeing I was already in par with getting the super happy ending even though it was (at least I assumed), the beginning phase of the plot. Turns out it wasn’t, one main even in the whole story seemed to be the turning point between the character’s feelings, which is too rushed. There could’ve easily been more content packed in.

-it’s easy to get super happy ending. We all want it, but the fun of the choices is that you get to learn about what’ll make your guy fall in love with you. By knowing which choices will automatically make the guy love you, you don’t learn much about him.

-it was predictable, to be honest. Nothing to shocking.

.

.

My biggest concern with this game was indeed the price, which isn’t worth the story. I don’t like the direction voltage is moving. @officialvoltageotome , please understand this shouldn’t be the next move. There’s better way to make money off a game. I’ve been a loyal supporter for years and I don’t appreciate this change.

Also, I feel like the games being churned out have been the same. It’s usually a pretty sexy story with a mature theme. It’s true those games has been successful, but the originality has seemed to diminish with it. I’d rather read some really cheesy romance-comedy type drama than the same “fifty shades” type erotic novel.

Anyways, that’s my review. I wouldn’t recommend this game. I can’t say it was boring, but it wasn’t to its hype or money value.

[devilbat]

To hell with it Part 1.

I’ve had this idea for way to long in my head so here is it. This will have a few parts to is and with have a lot of smut, fluff and angst. Still not sure on the title. Loki x reader

There were some days you loved you job. Even though these day were few and far between. Mostly cause of your boss you loved it when he wasn’t there but hated when he was. You were his assistant. Meaning take note, appointment, set up board meetings, get his Dry cleaning, get coffee and Make sure the girls he fucked left with out so even contacting him as they had to sign a waiver to be with him.

Yep that was your job though you didn’t mind escorting the bimbos out the door. They would threaten to exposed him you’d laugh saying they utter a word they would be sued so fast it make their head spine and the helpful reminder that they should always read the fine print on what they sign. You definitely had to say when you hated your boss, that help get a lot of anger out.

He was everything you would expect in a guy. Long raven black hair, lean and tone body, sharp jaw line that you could just cut yourself smacking his handsome face. You had thought about slapping that face on more then one occasion. Tall, British, always wore well tailored suits and an Arrogant, cocky, son of a bitch. He always had a girl on his arm most weekends or events. Which you hated cause you had to deal with these women thinking they were better then you and think they could boss you around. And you hated attending the events, though you got to stand off in the background until he needed you. You normally just wore a Business suit yourself. As you did not see a point in wearing something nice.

Today was your besties birthday the one of the first people besides your boss that you meet when you moved to London. And you were in a scramble to get everything done as early as possible. You were at your desk just outside his office when you heard him yell for you. ‘Great.’ You huffed. As you made you way to his office.

“You wanted to see me loki?” You tried to hide your announce. As you walking into his office. Though you loved the view you could see all of London. Big Ben, The eye, The tower, the Easter egg shaped thing that you always forgot the name too. It was breathtaking. Though you still haven’t seen these places beings you have no social life. And you have lived in England for 2 years now.

“Yes can you get these papers finished. I’m leaving to go get my brother from the air port. I expect you can handle the rest of this.” His voice always was so arrogant and demanding. You knew something like this would happen you were going to be late for your friends birthday.

“Can these papers wait until Monday? I have a birthday party to go to.” You voiced back knowing it wasn’t a good idea but you have ben loyal to this arrogant cock. At his beck and call day and night. You never asked for anything. But He only Scoffed.

“Then you better hurry and get those done.” He hissed. Yep you should of just kept your mouth shut. You left his office with out another word. As you say back down to get to work on those papers. You watched as he walked out and down to the elevator. Rolling you eyes at him. As you sent a quick texts to your friend.

*going to be late.*

*let me guess your boss?*

*yep as always.*

*well hurry up I never get to see your face. Or do I need to come and cock punch your boss for you?*

*lol if I don’t do it first. See you soon.*

Finishing up those paper as you set them back on his desk you looked at the time. You had time to get home and change you’ll still be running an hour later but you wanted out of your Business clothing. Traffic was on your side today as you took a cab home. Normally you would take the tube but more unnecessary stops. You live in a nice Condo in the heart of London. You made a lot were you worked. That was part of the reason you still worked for him. As soon as you got in that door before it was even closed you started stripping. Kicking the door shut.

Fixing your makeup, pulling you hair down from you bun you decided to leave it down for the night. It had a nice curls to it from the bun. You went with a low v neck Emerald green shirt that went down to your belly button. You made sure to tape everything so you wouldn’t fall out of the top. Even though it had a gold x pattern holding the opening you still felt like it needed the tape. With a black skirt that x’ed on the front making a little short between the thighs. Just right above you knees. Pulling it over to hold the shirt in place. You felt like there was way to much cleavage showing. To finish it off you went with a black pair of heels. You bestie had picked this outfit for you. Wanting you to wear it for her party. It was not what you would normally wear.

You grabbed your jean jacket to wear until you got to the high end bar. Which you were lucky that you worked for Loki, it was one of the hardest bar to get into. She was thrilled when you told her you got her in for her party. You knew most of the people that worked there being you’ve had meeting there, having to get your boss from there, etc.

“Well holy cat calls darling look at you miss y/n. That boss of yours give you a night off?” Luke purred at the door he was one of the bouncers there. You gave him a hug.

“Hey Luke.” You smiled and did a little torn for him holding your jacket open for him. “I’m never on a night off still on call as always.” You held up you phone.

“Dang hun. That man is going to run you to death. Or maybe you might give him a heart attack tonight, looking like that dose he even know that these is a hottie hiding under all that Business attire.”

“He wouldn’t know how to handle me. I’m not one of his bimbos.” You waved at him as you walked in. It was busy as normal. As you weaved in and out trying to get to your friends table. You spotted your bestie and her other friends. “Happy Birthday.” As you wrapped an arms around her neck. Kissing her cheek. She squealed jumping up as she attacked you with a hug. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Well you are soo excused for wearing that outfit for my birthday. It looks amazing girl. So happy I bought that for you.” She giggled as she made you take the jacket off and turn. You rolled your eyes. As the night went on you had a few drinks but not a lot your girl tried to either get a guy for you or one for her. She flirted with everyone. You just sat there pushing guys away from you.

“Y/n look at those to delicious hunks over there? They keep looking over here I swear the dark haired one has been eyeing you all night.” She Winked. As you looked up to see your boss in the corner with another man. The man sitting next to you boss had blonde hair, a beard and a muscular built. You almost spit your drink out. As you turned quickly way hoping your boss didn’t recognize you. Lucky for you he didn’t but he was eyeing you. His brother that was with him had pointed you out.

“Umm no not my type.” You said. “Maybe the blonde?” you joked.

“Oh he is sooo your type.” She giggled looking back but both men were gone. You noticed as your faces relaxed.

“That was my slave driver of a boss Loki. I don’t know how any girl can fall for his charm. Ugh.”

“You didn’t tell me your dick of a boss was fucking hot.”

“No he’s not. I don’t have a life cause of him. I almost missed your birthday cause of him. My mom could be dying and he would found some way to keep me here. He is arrogant, childish, has no remorse for others.”

“Then why don’t you quit.”

“Who else would put up with him he went through 10 assistance in 2 months before me. And the pay and benefits are amazing. I live in a condo in Central London and have a Jag what girl wouldn’t want that.” You confessed. You hadn’t realized when you and your friends were talking about your boss and how much of a jerk he was. Loki had walked up to your table with his brother. He was going to ask you to dance until he realized who you were. His jaw went slack as he listened. Yes he was pissed and the thought of firing you right there had crossed his mind. But you were to damn hot in your little number to do it.

“Miss y/l/n!” You heard from behind you as Loki cleared his throat. Oh fuck you were screwed and not in the good way. “I expect to see you tomorrow morning at the office to go over a few things. This is a command not a request.” He whispered in your ear you froze not wanting to move or look behind you. You could feel his hot breath on your ear and hear the smirk in his voice.

“Oh shit.” your bestie was the first to speak up. “I’ll go talk with him give him a piece of my mind.” Before you could react your She was off and and in her drunken state she would tell him too. You went after her but lost her in the crowd.

It was official you were a dead girl okay worse the dead. You were going to be an unemployed girl.

@kitkatkl

[fuckyeahjamieandclaire]

"It's a great change to the book," Heughan tells The Hollywood Reporter with a little laugh. "Obviously everyone was expecting… "

As he trails off, Balfe interjects with a big laugh, "A real bear!"

"Yes, a real bear," Heughan adds after both he and Balfe stop laughing. "I think it's an interesting twist that actually begins the story with the Native Americans. It's actually wonderful, this honor or understanding between Jamie and the Cherokee. He gets a name, he's now Bear Killer, and their relationship becomes amicable, which is pretty big moving forward."

But Heughan knows this scene will come as a shock to book readers. "I think the fans are going to be surprised actually, and I hope that it works out well," he says. "They were all expecting.… What was that film with DiCaprio?"

"The Revenant," Balfe says.

"The Revenant! I think that's probably what fans thought it would be," Heughan continues. "But it's great! We have a few moments like this this season where we are going to surprise the fans, and I think that's good. Otherwise they know what's coming, and it's great to have a few little Easter eggs in there, some things to surprise even the most loyal book readers with."

Thinking back to when they found out that Heughan wouldn't have to actually film with a real bear, Balfe laughs again. "I think they tried to find a bear in Scotland and then they couldn't," she jokes.

"There are no Scottish bears," Heughan agrees, before continuing seriously. "No, when we got the scripts, it was there from the beginning. We were shooting that in the depths of winter, and it was so cold. It was minus 7, I was just in a shirt, and we were shooting at night. It was some pretty tough stuff. But I loved that Jaws moment of not seeing the bear but just hearing it. Jamie and Claire are living in a cabin in the woods, and they're really on the fringes of wilderness, and it is dangerous. There are a great many dangers there. It's a great chapter in their story."

While it may sound inconsequential to anyone who hasn't read the books, this Bear Killer moment marks a major turning point for Jamie and Claire moving forward as they build their new life on Fraser's Ridge.

"At first, Jamie uses the term 'savages' for Native Americans, and he's wary of them and thinks they're pretty dangerous," Heughan says. "He doesn't understand them that much. But his first encounter, when there is a bit of a standoff with them, he sees in them some sort of code, and he understands them as a warrior nation. There does become this uneasy — or not even uneasy, just an understanding between them. They begin to have respect for each other and trade with each other."

Without spoiling upcoming storylines, the ties between the Frasers and the Native Americans continue to strengthen over the course of the season. "There are similarities between the Highlanders, the Scots and the Native Americans, and it's a really nice story we're telling," Heughan says. "It develops over time until the end of the season that I'm really excited about that involves the whole village of the Mohawk. Jamie really trusts them."

[thenightling]

Dickery vs. Competence: Morpheus and Daniel sins: Comparison

Post made for the request of @zalemoonshadow  

Disclaimer.  Some of these might not be Sins per se but they are acts of questionable competence.   Also I am aware that Neil Gaiman is not accountable for the content of the spin-offs, One-shots, and “Sandman Presents” titles.  And I doubt Daniel’s screw up list would be so long if he was the one writing those...

Sins: Tally:

It’s hard to measure Morpheus’ sins vs. Daniels and a bit unfair.  Morpheus had eons to f--k up while Daniel has only had twenty one years.  If I was to measure Morpheus crimes between 1988 and 1996 and Daniel’s sins between 1996 until 2017 it would read like this...

Morpheus:

1.  Ignoring Nada’s pleas when he went to Hell for his helm.   He does eventually rescue her and apologize but yes he did leave her there for ten thousand years.  At least she got to slap him.   I fear when Sandman finally gets adapted as a film or TV series because this is probably Morpheus’ most “problematic” behavior, leaving his lover in Hell for rejecting him.  And then the fact that she forgives him would also be seen as “problematic” because today it’s very unfashionable to forgive “abusers” even if they truly are remorseful.    

2.  His excessive punishment of Alexander Burgess.  Yes, Alex carried on his Father’s act of holding Morpheus prisoner, and threatening Morpheus and mocking him, but Alex was afraid of what Morpheus might do to him if freed (and with good reason).  And poor Paul’s crime was apathy and for it he lost his lover for over six years. 

3.   Not doing more for Rachel (Constantine’s junkie lover) when he obviously could (Issue 3). 

4.  Almost killing Rose Walker.  (He didn’t want to and mercifully he didn’t have to).

5.   Killing his own son.  Even though, yes, it was out of Mercy he could have offered Orpheus a new life with a Dream-created body.   But I do understand that he probably wanted to be reunited with his long lost wife finally.   I don’t really consider this a crime but you know Morpheus did.  Though I think his real crime here is far older.  Abandoning Orpheus in his hour of need before and after his adventure in The Underworld.

Actually, that’s kind of it, isn’t it?

Note: I will not call Morpheus’ not wanting to kill the Dream Vortex(s) a sin.   That’s a virtue, the value of life.  

___________________________

Daniel:

1.   Ignoring the banishment of an apparently important entity by a Nightmare Judge (Once Cain was banished human beings became dangerously violent toward each other). 

2.   Allowing (Or somehow not noticing) Merv using sleeping Human souls as slave labor, resulting in a man mistaking Merv as a God, and in the waking world attempting suicide and causing permanent brain damage.   Seriously WTF?!  (This REALLY happened in The Dreaming Comics).  I don’t think Merv ever realized what he had done.  And this felt so very, very... off...

God, how I hated The Dreaming spin-off, specially the crap of Nuala going back under her Glamour and the writer trying to make that somehow “empowering” that she was again hiding her true self, when she learned not to do that to try to appease others in the original Sandman.    The idiot who did this really missed the point here. But sadly that’s just my anger, and not something I can blame Daniel for.

3. Leaving his semi-competent Dream beings to handle a civil war by themselves with the feeble excuse of “I didn’t want there to be any martyrs.”  Among Nightmares??!

4.   Altering Lucien’s memories about Matthew’s Death after giving Matthew the speech on why you shouldn’t change memories like that. 

5.  Transforming a psychotic dead human into a Dark Sue Nightmare and not doing a damn thing when things go horribly wrong.  WHO does that?!

6.  Making The Justice League do his job for him when Starros invade The Dreaming.  It was a cute story but seriously... why?!

7.   Apparently killing the Corinthian ...again.   This is based solely on panel art.  Observe.

Correct me if I am mistaken but I don’t think that skull should be there.  I could have sworn the original Corinthian skull was used in the creation of The Second Corinthian (if I’m not mistaken) so either the illustrator forgot the Corinthian was re-created OR Daniel killed him... again.   And if so... Why?  He was mostly reformed (Literally and figuratively).  Admittedly this is probably an illustration Easter Egg mistake. 

8.  Constantly bragging about how much better / nicer / kinder he is to Morpheus.   That egotism makes Morpheus look modest.   

9.  Allowing Matthew to die and not even trying to talk him into living and then replacing Matthew very quickly with an unlikable but color coordinated twat of a white raven.

10.   Not doing anything when The House of Mystery has been repeatedly stolen, misused, destroyed, and or even merged with The House of Secrets.   These are pretty big events.

11.   Banishing The Second Corinthian to Earth (What could possibly go wrong!) and replacing him with Echo, a notoriously unstable former human turned Nightmare, all as punishment for what happened when Corinthian tried to stop a serial killer he accidentally unleashed.   And all while Daniel was reminding them that if he was his “old self” he would have just uncreated him, ignoring that the original Corinthian was uncreated for being a murderous psychopath, not for trying to stop one. 

12.   In “Everything you wanted to know about Dreams” he let Nuala screw up several drams or somehow did not notice this happen...

13.  Also in “Everything you wanted to know about Dreams” (This probably shouldn’t count as canon and was done as a cute sort of joke but I’ll list it anyway.) Lucien and a bus is sent into The Waking World to retrieve several dreams and nightmares that enter as the result of someone waking up a sleep walker.   Does Daniel do anything for himself or his realm... at all? 

14.  Allowing a Nightmare to steal Dream Sand and relying on another dream to get it back, despite there being a huge conspiracy tied to the events or again, somehow not noticing the events until after the fact. (Merv Pumpkinhead one-shot)  

 15.  Leaving Abel (apparently) to track down wayward Nightmares.  Morpheus did that for himself!

16.  Allowing Japanese Death deities to “Poach” sleeping mortal souls to help power their realm.  (See Lucifer comics where Lucifer threatens to tell Dream what they are doing with sleeping mortal souls.  How did Dream not notice?!)

17.    Being “so helpful” in Dark Nights Metal so far.   I wasn’t going to list this one in case Daniel gets more useful in the December issue but so far his appearance has been little more than a page cameo to remind readers that he’s DC canon.

18.  And apparently allowing this to happen...

19.  Somehow there has been more damage to The Dreaming during Daniel’s reign than during the seventy two years Morpheus was trapped in a giant snow globe.

______________________________________________

Overall sins of Morpheus:

1.  Leaving Nada in Hell.  Sure, he rescued her later, but it was ten thousand years later and required Death telling him he was wrong.  

2.   Apparently destroying most of The Dreaming for centuries after Nada rejected him.

3. (Through Retroactive content in The Dreaming spin-off comics) Severely punishing Lucien by transforming his white raven form to black for some undisclosed sin.   Unless the theory that he IS Adam is correct and it’s for his mistreatment of Eve I’m not sure what the Hell Lucien could have done that was so bad.  Did he mistakenly put a non-fiction book in the fiction section?  Lucien is Dream’s most loyal servant, as repeatedly confirmed in the original Sandman comics, and praised by Morpheus for this reason.

4.   What Morpheus did to “Emperor Norton” and his mind for his petty competition with the younger siblings.

5.  Not doing more to help Rachel when Constantine implored him and almost doing nothing.

6.  How he treated Lyta and Hector Hall when he found them in Brute and Glob’s Dream Dimension.   Not even allowing Lyta a proper goodbye to her husband or even giving Hector the time and knowledge to process the truth of his situation.   

7.   Repeatedly behaving like Rumpelstiltskin in regard to Daniel, making it all too easy to frame Morpheus for Daniel’s abduction / murder.

8.  Not being there for his son in his darkest hour all because Morpheus was bitter / hurt over their falling out when Orpheus was grieving his wife.   And this ultimately leads to centuries of torment for Orpheus as a severed head looked after by priests before finally having to be put out of his misery by his own father.

All in all, despite his colorful history and many mistakes, Morpheus did set most of them right, and tried to atone.  Daniel is just... not that good at his job...

Perhaps there should be two Dream of The Endless ruling The Dreaming?

[atomheartz]

Daddy-Daughter Day [ Dayton White One Shot ] { Fem!Reader }

Summary: Dayton promised his daughter a daddy-daughter day. What she got instead was enough to make Momma White step in.

Word Count: 2300

Warnings: Angst, fluff, adorable child-ness

Author Notes: This is my first Dayton White one shot. I kinda got carried away with this one, as you can see by the world count. But I hope y’all enjoy, and my requests are open. Oh, and I’m just 2 away from 300 followers, and I have a Lance Tucker one shot planned as a celebration. So if you like this, keep an eye out for that. >3

Tag List: @papi-chulo-bucky

“Momma! Where’s daddy?” Annalise White asked her mother. The two were in the kitchen, the young girl eating a bowl of cereal while her mother made scrambled eggs.

“He’s out at the gym right now, babycakes. Why?” she asked looking over her shoulder at her daughter. The little girl swung her feet as she stirred her cereal with her spoon, the cornflakes getting soggy.

“We’re gonna spend the day together. He promised me a daddy-daughter day since he’s been gone for so long,” she said, her whole face lighting up with excitement. [ Y/N ] laughed softly and nodded, smiling down at her daughter as she carried her food to the table. She sat down beside her four year old, and they finished up their breakfast together.

“Momma? Why does our house have to be so big? You could get lost in here!” Annalise  said, making [ Y/N ] laugh.

“Your father just likes to live large. I worry his head will explode from all of the hot air in it,” she said, kissing the top of her daughter’s head.

“His head won’t really explode, will it Momma?” she asked, her eyes wide with worry.

“Of course not, babycakes. I’d never let that happen. I’d deflate him in a heartbeat.,” she said, getting up and taking their dishes to the sink.

“Okay, good. I miss daddy, and I don’t want anything to happen to him. I’m gonna go get changed so I’ll be ready when he gets back!” Annalise jumped down from her seat and raced off to her room, leaving [ Y/N ] alone in the kitchen. She let out a soft sigh before starting to wash the dishes. She could hear music coming from her daughter’s room, and she smiled to herself. She had gotten an iPod from Dayton for her fourth birthday, and it was filled with Disney songs. Her current favorite was any song from Moana, which she sang along with at the top of her lungs. Once she was finished with the dishes, [ Y/N ] grabbed a water from the fridge and went to sit in the living room, where the walls were covered in family pictures. As she settles into her favorite armchair, Annalise came running back downstairs, in her favorite pink sundress.

“What time do you think daddy’ll be home? I wanna spend as much time with him as I can before he has to leave again,” she said, pressing onto the arm of the chair as she jumped up and down.

“He should be home soon. He only left an hour ago, and he spends two hours at the gym, tops,” [ Y/N ] said, smiling at her daughter.

“I’m just so excited! We’re gonna go swimming and play with my Lego Friends and we’re gonna make ice cream sundaes!” she said, still jumping up and down. [ Y/N ] smiled and sipped her water, stretching her arms.

“Sounds like you have quite the day planned for you and daddy. I’m sure he’ll love it. You mean the world to him, babycakes,” she said, opening her arms so Annalise could hug her tightly.

“You’re the best momma in the world,” she said, smiling softly.

“And you’re the best daughter in the world,” [ Y/N ] said, rubbing her back. Annalise giggled and climbed into her mother’s lap.

“Can we read another chapter of Harry Potter?”

Hours passed, and Dayton still wasn’t home. Annalise was sitting by the front door, petting the family dog, eagerly waiting for her father’s return.  The two were getting some sun, and the dog had its head in her lap.

“Momma? What time is it? I wanna make sure daddy and I still have time to play when he gets back,” she called. [ Y/N ], who was in the kitchen checked the clock on the microwave. 5:30. She’d have to get dinner started soon, and her husband still wasn’t home.

“It’s 5:30, babycakes. Do you wanna help me out with dinner? We can make extra cheesy mac’n’cheese, just for you,” she said, coming out of the kitchen. When she saw her daughter, she thought she could hear her heart breaking. Annalise looked deflated, and [ Y/N ] thought she could see teardrop stains on her dress.

“No thanks, Momma. I’m just...I’m gonna go up to my room and play with my dolls. C’mon Rusty….” The little girl got up from the floor and slowly made her way upstairs, Rusty following behind her loyally. [ Y/N ] watched her go, feeling her own eyes fill with tears. She could hear Annalise sniffling as she shut her bedroom door, and her sadness was quickly replaced with anger. She stormed into the kitchen, grabbing the two boxes of mac’n’cheese from the counter as she went. She was gonna make sure Annalise had a good rest of her night, Dayton be damned.

When she was finished, she had a large bowl of mac’n’cheese and two chocolate milkshakes, complete with whipped cream, cherries, and chocolate shavings. She pulled out two forks and two straws, setting the straws in the drinks and the forks in the bowl. [ Y/N ] set the drinks and the bowl on a serving tray and carefully made her way up the stairs, the Harry Potter book she had been reading to Annalise under her arm.

“Babycakes, could you open the door for me?” she asked, shifting the tray a bit. It took a moment, but Annalise opened the door, wiping her eyes.

“Momma? What’s all this?” she asked, looking up at her mother.

“Well, I can’t have my babycakes end her day on a low note. So, I made mac’n’cheese and extra yummy milkshakes. And, I have our book,” she said, and her daughter smiled softly. She stepped back, allowing [ Y/N ] into her room, then shut the door again. The two sat on the floor, the tray between them, and [ Y/N ] started to read the book out loud as Annalise ate slowly. Within two hours, the two had finished their mac’n’cheese and milkshakes, and they were on the final chapter of the book.

“Momma?” Annalise asked, setting her fork down.

“Yes babycakes?” [ Y/N ] looked down at her, then set the book down as her daughter climbed into her lap.

“Does daddy not love me anymore? Is that why he didn’t keep his promise?” she asked quietly, curling up.

“No no, baby. Daddy loves you with all of his heart. But there are some days where even he gets caught up in chaos and excitement of being famous,” she said, kissing the top of her head.

“But...you were famous too, Momma. How come you don’t act like this?” the little girl asked. [ Y/N ] froze for a moment, biting her lip gently.

“Because I gave it all up to be with your father. And then I had you, and I knew that you would be my world. And I wasn’t going to miss out on anything. Your father doesn’t think like that. He just thinks everything will wait for him. But don’t you worry, I’ll be talking to him when he gets home,” she said, rocking her slightly. Annalise nodded, snuggling closer to her mother. She sniffled softly, then started to cry.

“I-I just wanted a day with d-daddy…. W-Why couldn’t I have that, Momma?” she hiccuped.

“I wish I had an answer for you, babycakes. I really do,” [ Y/N ] whispered, holding her daughter close as she sobbed.

When Annalise had finally calmed down and was sound asleep in her bed, [ Y/N ] was in her shared bedroom with the lights off. She was waiting for Dayton to come up, and it was well after midnight. When she finally heard the front door shut, she took a deep breath. Never in her life did she think she’d have to scold her own adult husband. She heard him coming up the stairs slowly, and she crossed her arms over her chest. The bedroom door creaked open, then it shut, then the lights flicked on.

“Where. Were. You?” [ Y/N ] said, her voice soft, yet dangerous. Dayton flinched like a belt had snapped in his direction, then he turned to face his wife.

“Honey, I meant to call and tell you….”

“Don’t you dare pull the shit with me, White,” she said, getting up from the bed. “Your daughter waited for you all day. She sat by that door just waiting for her father to come home and have a Daddy-Daughter day, just like he promised. But no, something was more important than her,” she said, walking over to him.

“Baby…[ Y/N ]...please,” he started, but she held up her hand.

“No. No. You don’t get to pull this shit and expect sympathy from me. I’ve spent the last three hours with Annalise, rocking her as she cried over her own father. She asked me if you didn’t love her anymore, and you have no idea how heartbreaking that is. I know what it’s like, growing up, thinking your father doesn’t love you. I know what having my forgiveness and love bought is like. It’s getting a birthday card with two hundred dollars in it because daddy forgot it was my birthday. It’s getting a flat screen for my bedroom because daddy missed Easter. It’s getting three gigantic teddy bears for Christmas because daddy wasn’t home for three months,” she said, tears pooling in her own eyes.

“[ Y/N ], I’m sorry,” Dayton whispered, going to hug her, but she stepped back.

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to. You should be apologizing to the little girl who looks up to you. The little girl who has your eyes and your smile. The little girl who waited all day for you, believing in you and your love for her. She’s only this young once, and once this time is gone, it’s gone. And she’ll grow up, wondering why her father never gave her the time of day, and why he didn’t want to play with her and make ice cream sundaes with her and swim with her. I don’t want her growing up like I did. You need to step up to the plate and be a father. At the end of the day, your celebrity status means jack shit, and what matters is how you treated the people you’re supposed to love,” [ Y/N ] said, her voice shaking. Without letting him say another word, she turned around and climbed back into bed. She sniffled quietly, wiped her eyes, then closed them.

“Goodnight, Dayton. I’ll see you in the morning,” she said quietly, and then she was out like a light. Dayton stood there, watching his wife for a moment. He knew she was right, and as he got ready for bed, he glanced towards the bedroom door, then back at [ Y/N ].

“I promise you I’ll make this right,” he whispered, shutting off the light and climbing into bed.

The next morning, [ Y/N ] woke to an empty bed. With a sigh, she sat up and pulled the covers back. She slowly pushed herself out of bed, and the sound of giggling snapped her out of her sleepy daze. She put on her robe and slippers before heading out of the bedroom and down the stairs.

“Daddy! You’re putting too many chocolate chips into the batter!” Annalise squealed as she watched her father dump the chips. [ Y/N ] leaned against the doorframe, smiling as she watched the two.

“You can never have too much chocolate, remember that babycakes,” he said, scooping her up and setting her on the counter. She giggled and nodded, swinging her feet as she watched her father.

“You think Momma will like the pancakes?” she asked.

“Of course she will. Her two favorite people are making them,” [ Y/N ] said quietly, smiling as she entered the kitchen. The two jumped in surprise, then Annalise laughed and slid down from the counter. She ran and hugged her mother’s leg, her eyes shining with happiness.

“Momma! It was supposed to be a surprise!” she laughed, letting go.

“I’m sorry, babycakes. But the smell was too yummy for me to resist!” she said, reaching down to tickle Her. She squealed and ran back to her father, hiding behind him with a smile. Dayton chuckled quietly, looking towards his wife, who smiled and nodded.

“So, babycakes, I thought today, we could try a little yoga by the pool, then go swimming, and we could play with your Legos, and maybe, if we’re extra good, Momma will make a special dinner and we can make huge ice cream sundaes afterwards,” Dayton said, peeking down at his daughter.

“Could we really do that, daddy?” Annalise asked, hope flitting across her face.

“Of course. Because you’re my little girl, my world, and you got cheated out of yesterday’s plans because I did something stupid. Why don’t you go put on exercise clothes, and when you come back, we’ll eat,” he said, and the little girl nodded quickly before running from the room. [ Y/N ] watched with a smile, then walked over to her husband.

“I’m proud of you, Dayton. You really stepped it up,” she said, kissing his cheek.

“Don’t be proud of me for doing what I should have been doing all along. Be proud of me for actually making pancakes without anything catching fire,” he said, popping a chocolate chip into [ Y/N ]’s mouth. She laughed and shook her head, giving him a quick hug.

“I love you, Daytona,” she whispered, nudging him gently with a smile.

“I love you too, [ Y/N ]. And thank you for setting me straight,” he whispered back.

“You needed it. You drive one big circle. I can imagine one must forget what a straight line looks like from time to time.”

“Ha. Ha.”

[yumi-michiyo]

For You I’d Burn the Length and Breadth of Sky [4/4] - with extended author’s notes

Rating: M for strong language, adult themes, sexual content

Genre: Supernatural/Drama/Romance/Angst/Family/Tragedy/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort/"Romance"

Pairings: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray, Rachel Berry/Noah Puckerman, Rachel Berry/Santana Lopez, mentioned Santana/Lopez/Finn Hudson, Brittany Pierce/Finn Hudson, mentioned Rachel Berry/Jesse St. James, Rachel Berry/Cassandra July, Rachel Berry/Brody Weston

Summary: She already knows Quinn Fabray is more than just a pretty face; she just didn't know it would take a few lifetimes to find out how much more. Post-canon, AU divergence. A oneshot of epic proportions.

Links: FF.net | AO3

On the writing process:

Have I bitten off more than I can chew?

This was a thought that crossed my mind repeatedly as I worked on this chapter. The plot was labyrinthine, the characters' motivations were all over the place, the timelines clashed, the dialogue was confusing. I keep a writing notebook in which I jot down prompts, ideas, plot threads etc., and this was one of the rare times that it didn't help.

I think one of the reasons for the difficulty was that unlike the first two chapters, 85% of the content wasn't planned. The characters (especially Santana) didn't want to cooperate. I only had an idea of what I wanted the endgame to be, and I spent time trying to herd the characters in that direction.

I have always been a multishipper/non-canon shipper at heart, and this was no exception though it does seem I've gone overboard with the sheer number of pairings squeezed into one fic. This chapter, in particular with the Santana/Rachel, drew a lot of inspiration from the incomparable you're just another song and dance by acid_glue234, in terms of the structure and the girls' interactions. This fanfic, out of all the fanfics in my history of fandoms, came the closest to switching my OTP.

There has been a lot of hints and clues about the setting in Rachel's real life scattered through the entire fic. While readers may enjoy picking through the fic to gather them, everything will be made clear in the epilogue.

The original draft of the story had the entire thing ending with Rachel leaving the voicemail, Quinn picking up almost immediately after, Rachel answering, and... fade to black. I don't know whether it's a good thing or not that I decided that since the entire thing had changed so radically, it wouldn't make sense not to add an epilogue.

I love Easter eggs, and sprinkling subtle references to other works of mine. Besides the obvious recycling of names from my headcanons, there are minute details that come from my other fics. They aren't relevant to any plot twists or big reveals; they're just there for my own entertainment as I go through the long, painful process of editing.

After completing this fic (including the epilogue and the letter written by wheelchair!Quinn), I have one more fic in the works before I officially retire from writing Glee fanfic. Honestly, I've covered all the pairings I like and plenty of Faberry tropes in one story: post-accident, future!fic, college friendships, friends turned lovers, post-canon, unrequited...

On Rachel Berry:

Rachel is, in a word, tired. She's gone through a whole lot of living (spoiler: it'll come back to haunt her back in her real life). She's been in relationships with a whole lot of people, done a lot of things without really feeling the consequences, and for the first time, is feeling stuck. I wrote her as being displaced; she hasn't really let her first two 'deaths' sink in.

This iteration of Rachel is less involved in keeping up appearances than the previous two; the first Rachel was genuinely happy to explore the what if's left by Finn's death. The second was a little more cautious, threw everything into a relationship with Quinn, and was broken by it. In this chapter, Rachel does realise that she's not as concerned about 'playing her part' as the previous times. As a result, she's more reckless, impulsive, and callous; notably in her promiscuity and the cold way she treats Puck.

The feel of this chapter is more of Rachel applying meta thought to her 'life', as opposed to 'living'. She is more detached from her surroundings, especially when things get complicated with Santana. I wrote Rachel with the idea of 'introspection' in mind; the time spent living life all over again has given her plenty of time to reflect on the things that have gone wrong in her real life, and we see that she's starting to change.

Rachel doesn't pursue Santana, like she does Finn and Quinn. She only falls for her after a period of soul-searching, and only after giving herself permission to fall. In other words, she makes a conscious decision to love Santana after clearing her conscience (is Quinn real, or 'real real'? Who knows?).

On Noah Puckerman:

Noah Puckerman has never been one of my favourite characters on Glee - I'm one of those people who think that his impregnating Quinn is equal to rape, the bad boy archetype isn't a favourite of mine, and the rest of his antics aren't particularly impressive (not to mention he's one of the victims of the show's writing). My Noah (and the fandom's Noah) is a simple guy who's rough around the edges but has a heart of gold.

Noah's also gotten the short end of the stick in this chapter. Since the story's told from Rachel's point of view, and she's pretty distant and preoccupied with her own problems (and Quinn), little is known about Noah's feelings. I write him as someone who's in love with Rachel despite her many shortcomings and is unfailingly loyal, despite her ignoring him, and the Season Four!Finn stunt she pulls on him.

On Santana Lopez:

Santana, in my opinion, is one of the great success stories of Glee. She goes from Quinn's backup singer/dancer and henchwoman to one of the main characters (rewatching the show reminded me of how much I hate canon!Rachel). I have always loved the strong woman with a vulnerable side trope, and no one embodies the character type better than Santana (and Naya).

Rachel does note that this Santana is softer around the edges than canon!Santana. It's mentioned in the fic that without Quinn, Santana is the unchallenged queen bee of McKinley, and is more secure in her identity and accepting that she is lesbian. For that reason, she doesn't victimise Rachel, or see the need to reinforce the strict social hierarchy.

Another cornerstone of the fic is the friendship between Kurt, Santana, and Rachel AKA two-and-a-half-gays. There was little opportunity to explore the daily, snarky interaction between the trio in the previous two chapters, so I think I might have gone a bit overboard with that. I do love writing snarky dialogue.

I headcanon Santana as being one of those people Nat King Cole sang about:

When I fall in love, it will be forever...

Another of my favourite tropes are people who fall in love without even realising it, and that's pretty much what happens on Santana's part.She doesn't start to move on from Brittany until she sees how happy Brittany is with someone else, and even then it takes a while before she starts to see Rachel in another light.

Santana, like Quinn, is one of those unfortunate people shafted in the hurriedly-cobbled-together ending of Glee. We don't know what she ends up doing with her life. We have no clue what are her likes and dislikes, or her aptitude and quirks. Based on the scant information we're given, I headcanon Santana to be involved in music production and/or songwriting, otherwise a television actress. In this chapter, I stole Sara Bareilles' excellent song Morningside for Santana. Sadly, there is no awesome slow and sexy acoustic version to link to, but I think it would sound amazing.

On Brittany Pierce:

I'll admit the sole Finn/Brittany fic that I have read and loved is thememoriesfire's duck sauce, meet bear cheese. It not only sold me on this pairing as something not cracky, but also showed a realistic portrayal of how these two would interact.

Generally, I don't write Brittany because I'm not sure I understand her, and thus can do her character justice. But Brittany was crucial to the plot, to help Santana open herself to falling for other people, to provide the catalyst to get Rachel and Santana talking again, and to help Rachel make her decision to fall for Santana.

There are several versions of Brittany in fanon, and this is one of the versions I enjoy best; the one who lives on a slightly different plane of reality that only intersects with the one everyone else lives in.

[jasonfry]

Author’s Notes: The Secret Academy, Pt. 1

WARNING: These notes will completely spoil Servants of the Empire: The Secret Academy. Haven’t read it? Stop and go here.

(Go here for notes for Edge of the Galaxy, here for Rebel in the Ranks and here for Imperial Justice. )

Part 1: Zare

Imperial Justice was torture to write, but The Secret Academy was actually fun! Final chapters are like that ... if you’ve put in the work. I’d spent three books establishing the characters and their motivations, laid the groundwork for the themes I wanted to explore, and then layered in complications and reversals. The fourth book was the chance to make all that pay off, and I enjoyed doing it.

Rather than alternate chapters as I had in Imperial Justice, I split Zare Leonis’s and Merei Spanjaf’s stories and followed them one at a time, without intercuts. I’d considered doing that in Imperial Justice, rejected the idea, but now thought it made sense.

I had a dopey reason for doing that, and a smart one.

The dopey reason: I was still annoyed at not being able to end Imperial Justice with Zare running into Beck Ollet inside the tower – a cliffhanger that had made me cackle happily. Splitting Zare and Merei’s stories would give me a second chance at that moment.

The smart reason: Imperial Justice had separated Zare and Merei and concluded with Merei’s discovery that Zare’s transfer to Arkanis wasn’t a reward but part of the Inquisitor’s plan. Taking away the intercuts was a way for the reader to feel a little bit of that separation and anxiety.

One challenge in The Secret Academy was unexpected. Story Group sent back my outline for Books 3 and 4 with a note that by the time Zare got to Arkanis, the Inquisitor would be dead, killed off in Rebels’ Season 1 finale. That would certainly change my story! I scrunched the books’ timeline a bit and was able to get the Inquisitor and Zare to briefly overlap on Arkanis, but that was the most I could compress things.

So I leaned into it. I reasoned that the Inquisitor’s offstage demise fit with an idea I’d been playing with – that Zare, for all his bravery and determination, also gets a bit lucky. In Imperial Justice, Zare decides he won’t follow another immoral order even it means he’ll never find Dhara, and is saved from dismissal when Oleg’s warehouse raid goes awry. The Inquisitor’s death would be another bit of luck, as his plan is to return to Arkanis and break Zare. I don’t think that undercuts Zare or his quest – one thing I like about Zare is he isn’t a Jedi, a veteran commando or some kind of superhero. He needs a little luck; most heroes do.

One idea I continued from Imperial Justice was Zare’s “shadow story” – a not too different tale in which Dhara was never kidnapped and Zare remained the loyal young Imperial officer he’d assumed he’d become. Arkanis essentially resets Zare’s cadet career and the shadow story culminates with the training exercise on Sirpar. Those scenes are some of my favorite in the book – they show Zare as a young officer who improvises intelligently, drives himself and his troops to accomplish unlikely goals, and earns those troops’ loyalty and affection. He’s come a long way from the kid impatiently killing time at AppSci.

But as in Imperial Justice, Zare eventually has to ask himself what he isn’t willing to do to find Dhara. In the previous book, being ordered to take children into protective custody is his breaking point; in this one it’s being ordered to murder a fellow cadet.

No aspect of The Secret Academy attracted more interest than the revelation that Brendol Hux’s Commandant’s Cadets are forerunners of the First Order stormtroopers overseen by Brendol’s son Armitage. The funny thing, to me, was that the connection with The Force Awakens came late and was a lucky break.

I’d known since Edge of the Galaxy that Dhara was being held in a mysterious tower on Arkanis, that Zare would try to get inside, and that Beck’s unexpected reappearance would ruin everything. From a storytelling point of view, the Commandant’s Cadets were merely the mechanism that would get Zare into that tower at the right time for the hammer to come down. 

But why did they exist? I was up against a problem that’s common in richly detailed fictional universes. I wanted the Cadets to have a purpose and be more than a generic bunch of Imperial “mean kids,” but if that purpose never affected any other Star Wars story, readers would know from the beginning that the Cadets had failed to achieve their goals.

In November 2014 I visited Lucasfilm for meetings about DK’s The Force Awakens – Incredible Cross-Sections and got a synopsis of the upcoming movie, accompanied by on-set photos. Finn’s origins reminded me of both clone troopers and the Jedi; a few minutes later, it struck me that General Hux was awfully young.  

Somewhere between those two thoughts I saw an opportunity: what if the plan to raise children as stormtroopers dated back to the Rebels era, and came from Hux’s father?

Story Group’s Pablo Hidalgo liked the idea and ran it up the chain. I braced myself for a reason the answer had to be “no.” When I got a “yes” instead, I wrote as fast as I could and then crossed my fingers.

The connection made sense within the Star Wars galaxy: the elder Hux had served alongside clones and Jedi during the Clone Wars, seen the deficiencies of the stormtroopers, and imagined a better way that drew on his wartime experience. That program began in secret and was taken up by his son to create the First Order’s soldiers.

It also solved my plot problem admirably and turned a weakness in The Secret Academy into a strength. Before the release of The Force Awakens the Hux connection would spur interest in the book; afterwards, new readers would see the Commandant’s Cadets as a real threat, because they’d know that Hux’s program had succeeded beyond his fondest dreams. 

Notes on Part 1:

The first scene was the original ending of Imperial Justice, but I decided I didn’t want to introduce a new planet that late, and preferred ending with Merei and Tepha wondering if they’d ever see Zare again. Moving it was an easy change, at least. 

I wanted Arkanis to be something new for Star Wars – a waterlogged world that I likened to what you’d find if you turned over a log. I also wanted the Academy and its surroundings to feel plucked out of a gloomy Gothic tale. A lot of things in The Secret Academy are pretty shameless goofs on a well-known Gothic novel and movie, in fact. 

it was a pain ensuring Zare’s cadet service fit the chronology of the first two Rebels seasons. The initial idea was that Rebel in the Ranks and Imperial Justice would cover a full academic year, with the top cadet earning a transfer to Arkanis for the next year. Chiron would back Zare, while Roddance supported Oleg. But I couldn’t figure out what to do with Zare and Merei over that second summer, and feared readers would get impatient that Zare wasn’t trying harder to rescue Dhara. Fortunately, Rebel in the Ranks had introduced the possibility of a midyear transfer – an offhand line that became critical once the Inquisitor’s death forced me to speed things up. But how to get Zare to Arkanis? The obvious answer was for Merei to slice a transfer into the system, but that struck me as a lazy, unconvincing solution. I got so lost in blind alleys that I missed the solution Story Group found: the transfer wasn’t a reward but an unexpected order from some Imperial. I realized that Imperial should be the Inquisitor: it was plausible, solved my chronology problem, let me have a confrontation with Zare on Arkanis and added to the story��s tension. Whew! 

Contrary to what’s stated here, the journey between Lothal and Arkanis isn’t a short one. That was my fault: I was working off the idea that Lothal was near Kessel, a bit of head-canon I’d gotten used to and so failed to vet. There was no reason to define that here; doing so led to an unforced error.

Note that Colonel Julyan challenges Zare with a question about grav-ball and leadership, as Sergeant Currahee did in Rebel in the Ranks. In the earlier book Zare ducked the question; now he gives Julyan a thoughtful answer that reflects his experiences.

Julyan’s lessons reference Legends material: Admiral Screed, General Romodi (before his appearance in Rogue One), the Order of the Terrible Glare and the Empire’s campaigns in the Western Reaches. Much of this was taken from The Essential Guide to Warfare and additional material written for it. It seemed ready-made for Julyan’s teaching and unlikely to confine future storytelling, so why not use it?

I invented the diplopod as a mount for Sarco Plank in The Weapon of a Jedi, only to see my beastie get subbed out in favor of the happabore, appearing as an Easter egg for The Force Awakens. I liked the critters, so I put them aside for some future project. The Secret Academy gave me an opportunity not just to use the diplopod but also to kill one in a gross way.  

I liked the bit where the Inquisitor invites Zare to come out of the weather and into the shelter of a stasis projector. In that context politeness seems decidedly menacing. 

Scaparus Port was fun to write – equal parts Treasure Island and some gloomy town out of Cthulhu, what with its salt-encrusted gloom and fisherfolk missing limbs and scarred by sucker marks. Arkanis is just a nasty place.

Scaparus was the right place to bring back the jogan fruit, or more specifically its scent, which makes Zare remember Beck Ollet’s orchards on Lothal. Scent unlocking memory is a theme throughout Servants of the Empire, working up to its critical role in the climax. Here, it’s a heartening renewal of the connection between Zare and Merei that suggests their break might not be final after all.

I never explicitly stated it, so I’ll leave it to Wookieepedia to work out the canonicity, but Gesaral Beta is supposed to be the planet where it rains razors of glass on Ania Solo in Dark Horse’s Legacy series.

I enjoyed writing the demented beach scene with Hux and the cadets debating how to raise nerfs. The sea monster is an homage to the great Jack Vance, who imagined a similar predator in Ports of Call. (If you’ve never read Vance, fix that posthaste!) Note that Zare’s reaction to the nerf’s death is quite different than the casual cruelty shown by the other cadets.

Sirpar was another attempt at a new setting. Its heavier-than-standard gravity is noted in Legends depictions of the planet; I added making the light so intense that the cadets had to take precautions against it. Light would vary dramatically from planet to planet, another Jack Vance idea I didn’t recall seeing in Star Wars. I decided to try it and liked the results. 

Note that the accident set to befall Penn Zarang will be dismissed as a “slight weapons malfunction.” I’m all for little nods like that as long as they don’t interrupt the story or distract a casual reader. 

Perhaps emboldened by my success tying the Commandant’s Cadets to The Force Awakens, I looked for an even stronger connection. Might Anya Razar and Captain Phasma be one and the same? I decided that was a dumb idea and never proposed it, but did suggest a scene with DDM-38 pushing a red-haired baby in some kind of space pram. Lucasfilm shot that down, and rightly so – less was more. There’s awesome fan art out there of a baby Hux in the arms of his creepy nanny droid, though. 

My original treatment had Zare, Chiron and Roddance all transferred to Arkanis as part of the “valedictorian” storyline. When that idea got abandoned I decided we’d explored that triangle sufficiently on Lothal, but did need to bring Chiron back for the finale. I liked dropping him into the middle of Zare’s dilemma about the Commandant’s Cadets as a tempting but dangerous lifeline. That was also a bit of misdirection: since Chiron can get into Area Null, he’s a potential route to Dhara that would let Zare escape having to kill Penn.

We’ll see Cass again in A New Hope, as an aide aboard the Death Star.

Next time: Speaking Bocce and the Case of the Missing Bounty Hunter. Right here!