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utilitycaster · 9 months ago

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@notstinglesstoo replied to your post “The thing is, and I haven't gotten a chance to...”:

I saw someone not long ago say cr has always felt like a product to them vs D20 feeling organic and I protected my peace but I did want to ask them if they were brain dead

Oh man I wanted to address this at length because I feel this. My posts have been centered, again, specifically on published journalists picking Daggerheart aprt critically and applauding themselves for doing so despite it being within a couple of hours of its release and therefore any analysis is necessarily going to be based on at best, a skim, when they just as frequently will claim D20 seasons/Kollok are flawless works of genius based on only a partial read, but man D20's got a fandom problem too. (and all of the following comes with the caveat of "I really enjoy D20, and Dropout, and while we're at it WBN and NADDPod which both are half D20 Intrepid Heroes cast, and think Brennan is a particularly brilliant GM, and also it's obvious that the D20 and CR casts are on great terms, and wish the fandom for D20 were more welcoming and enjoyable because I feel it wasn't like this when I first started watching, as a CR fan, in late 2019 and has since curdled into something really weird and bad.")

The first point is the obvious one: technically speaking these are both products. These are performers doing an art form; it is also a portion of how they make their money with which they can buy goods and services. Believing that art is inauthentic when the artist gets paid and acknowledges that is a thing that happens is a fucking libertarian position at best. Like cool, you think only people who are independently wealthy by other means can make art, because it's not real labor, my kid could paint that, etc etc.

The second point is also pretty obvious. I have pushed back pretty hard on the "uwu CR is just watching friends! it's like we're in their living room" mentality among the fandom, which has decreased, thankfully, but like...it did in fact start organically as a private home game, and they decided, when invited, to make it A Show For An Audience. D20 was created on purpose as a show for an audience. This doesn't make it bad or fake - reread the previous paragraph - but in terms of "this is an group of people who really played D&D in this world together even before the cameras were rolling," Critical Role literally is that, and D20 is not.

I think beyond that...my biggest issues with the D20 fandom are first, the level of discourse is abominable. The tag is almost always just shrieking praise and the most surface-level readings possible. I keep bringing up the "Capitalism is the BBEG" mug but it genuinely sums up so much of how I feel; people who want their existing beliefs fed to them as surface-level no-nuance takes. I mean capitalism is fucking terrible but I do not need every work I watch to have a character turn to the camera and say "capitalism is bad" to enjoy myself, and indeed it makes it harder due to the lack of subtlety and grace. For all D20 fans complain about how unhealthily parasocial CR fans can be (and some can be), I find that a lot of the most unhealthily parasocial "how dare they BETRAY my TRUST by having a ship I don't like or not speaking up about every single societal ill" ex-CR fans move over to D20 and then pull the exact same shit; it simply doesn't get called out. Every time D20 fans are like "we don't want to become the CR fandom" it's like "your toxic positivity and unhealthy parasocial behavior exceeds the HEIGHT of what I've seen in CR; the main difference is that CR started in 2015 when D&D was still shaking off the raging bigot dudebros and so in the early days it acquired more of those fans, whereas by the time D20 came around the landscape of who played D&D and watched Actual Play had shifted wildly, and you need to judge September 2018 D20 fans in parallel to September 2018 CR fans, not September 2015 CR fans."

I also feel, and I alluded to this in the post about journalism, and other people have said this better than I have, but the pedestal people have put D20 on does feel like a single...not even misstep, but just, difficult choice that doesn't capitulate to the loudest fans will bring a good chunk of that fandom crashing to the ground. And that includes the journalists. For all the fans of CR can still be obsessed with the cast to an unhealthy degree? The cast and company have put up pretty strong boundaries and have not budged. D20 hasn't, and I think the second they do - and I think it will be for their benefit as a company and a channel - a big chunk of their most vitriolic CR-hating portion of the fandom will viciously turn on them.

#notstinglesstoo #nonrebloggable bc god it's hell week for me i know i've been shooting off opinions bc that is how i blow off steam #but like. i can't have this break containment i got shit to do

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yggdraseed · 5 months ago

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An Incomplete Analysis of the Sukunadome

I stress the point that this is an inherently incomplete analysis. It's getting late, I'm tired and unhappy, and… well, the fight isn't over yet, so there's no way this analysis could be complete even if I felt like it. However, it's on my mind, and I feel the need to start exerting myself more on these things. Sometimes sweat is the better medicine. I know this is a long one and doesn’t have any pictures, but if we all support each other, we’ll get through it together.

Full disclosure, I wish more people had gotten filtered by this fight and just stopped talking about Jujutsu Kaisen by now. Like yeah, I think it's great different people see things in different ways, but let's all be honest with ourselves here, most of the people criticizing this fight are not doing so with any sort of literary or artistic perspective or good faith. Most of it is Gojo fans who are still crying, seething, vomiting, pissing, and shitting over the fact that the character they attached their ego to didn't win Jujutsu Kaisen like they wanted. If this describes you, well, this post will probably do you some good, but I'm confident nobody who takes the stance that Gojo should have won would have the space in their mind for what I'm about to say about Sukunadome.

Because that's what I'm calling it. "The Sukuna Cycle" was maybe a little funny for a week or two, but like most memes about this series, it wasn't really based on the story so much as it was on an agenda. Kusakabe was part of the fight since Yuji and Higuruma entered, and up until Miguel, we knew all the combatants who would be tagging in were there. We knew Yuta was off dealing with Kenjaku and would return, we knew Maki was in play, and there really weren't a lot of switches. Just Choso leaving and coming back, Ui Ui retrieving Higuruma's and Gojo's corpses, and… you know, actually, I think that's it. Sure isn't as much as the "Sukuna Cycle" memes made it out to be, huh?

Okay, if you haven't noticed yet, I'm a big JJK fan and a big JJK fandom hater. I think JJK has the worst Western internet fanbase I've seen in a long time, with only a few oases scattered across the internet where you can find intelligent life. Like it's insane what kind of bullshit a person can convince themselves of.

However, I'm not analyzing JJK's fanbase, I'm analyzing JJK. Someday we'll litigate whether or not Lobotomy Kaisen was really funny enough to justify how badly it ruined this fanbase's ability to objectively, productively engage with with one of the most competently written and culturally impactful manga to come out this century. Today is not that day.

So Sukuna's got four arms and knows how to use them. He's got four eyes and so much sass one mouth wasn't enough for the amount of trash he's got to talk to the youths of today. Just on a basic level, having four arms would be such an insignificant power in any other Shonen as to almost be a joke. Yet with how jujutsu sorcery functions as a power system and how adept Sukuna is at using every possible advantage at his disposal - even going so far as to take what probably should be disadvantages and twist them to work for him - having the ability to make hand seals while fighting hand-to-hand, and being able to chant without interrupting his breathing, are inseparable from Sukuna's godlike fighting ability. I love how something seemingly so mundane is such a huge x factor for Sukuna.

We continually see how Sukuna is a complex, but fundamentally vile antagonist. He has a very rich, detailed view of the world, but one that fundamentally reduces every other human being to be his playthings and food. It's just that Sukuna says, "Don't like it? Then get stronger." It's a very Social Darwinist, late stage capitalist view to be coming from the Heian Era, and I think that maybe it's intentional. Shitty people are shitty in mostly the same ways, it's just they find new things to be shitty about or to use to be shitty with.

Like if that were all it is, it'd make Sukuna so effective as a villain to hate and would slot so nicely into Jujutsu Kaisen's overarching social and political commentary. Cruelty within suffering, selfishness as a strength and a weakness, the unfairness of how the strength to pursue one's agency is unevenly distributed and how the haves don’t realize how easily they could have instead been have-nots, it's all there.

But there’s this inherent charisma to Sukuna that I think is intentional. He has this noblesse oblige where he’s so inherently aware of his greatness that he doesn’t have a problem with giving credit where credit is due. Like he talks all the trash when he’s fighting Jogo, but where Gojo’s insults come across as puerile and blunt, Sukuna’s always displaying this wit to him. And when the battle’s over, he acknowledges that even though Jogo wasn’t as strong as him, he was stronger than most and could have gone even further if he hadn’t held himself back. He starts off belittling Gojo in their fight, but by the end, he expresses a profound respect and gratitude towards Gojo. Like it’s a very warped form of those sentiments, but I think it’s sincere. Even with Ishigori, when Sukuna fails to cut him the first time, he just acknowledges it was disrespectful to hold back and that he’ll give it full force the next strike.

Something to keep in mind is that everything Megumi warned Yuji about when it comes to ancient sorcerers applies to Sukuna as well. They’re not treated as uniformly, unambiguously evil anymore than anyone else in JJK is, and are acknowledged as having fundamentally different world views about violence and the value of human life. Kashimo, for instance, seems to value his life only because he’s able to risk his life and lay it on the line. They’re people from an era where children died so young that parents often gave them numbered names so as to not get too attached until they’d see if their kids actually were going to make it or not. If you didn’t give your whole life over to a goal, you probably wouldn’t achieve it. Whereas modern sorcerers, modern people, have all these complex and sometimes contradictory views and needs, ancient sorcerers show a tendency to shave everything away except their one singular conviction because that was what you had to do in an era of much shorter life expectancies and peril on all sides. You’d be very lucky to accomplish one life goal, let alone as many as people of today set out to achieve: graduating high school, graduating college, getting a job, starting a family, and hopefully having one or two passions on the side. Fundamentally different worldviews from fundamentally different periods of history.

And Sukuna is no different. His goal is simple: partake in the many colors and flavors of humanity through mortal combat in the arena of sorcery. Sukuna’s love for sorcery runs deep. He’s always curious about different cursed techniques, even ones that are pedestrian to a sorcerer of his level, like Nanako’s smartphone-based technique. He reminds me of a quote from Baki: “Someone who works hard can never beat someone who enjoys himself.” Sukuna has clearly put forth great effort to master sorcery, but clearly doesn’t see it as work. He sees it as just doing what he enjoys and is good at.

Unfortunately for everyone else, he enjoys killing and is extremely good at it. Sukuna is the ultimate ethical heat death of the “live for yourself, cherish your own agency, don’t let yourself be controlled” mindset that is the ideological starting point of JJK. It’s a very dark, extreme interpretation of Buddhist non-attachment, where even compassion is an attachment to ultimately shed. Sukuna lives perfectly freely, including being free from guilt or compassion.

Naturally, there’s an exception. All things seem to have exceptions. In Sukuna’s case, that would be Uraume. I’ve been fascinated by their dynamic since we first learned of Uraume’s allegiance to Sukuna during Shibuya and I still can’t wait to know more. Suffice to say, Sukuna dotes on Uraume, forgiving their mistakes and seeming to enjoy their company not just because of their service to him, but because their existence makes him happy. I’m reminded of Power in Chainsaw Man, how she was seemingly incapable of empathy or mercy until she met Meowy.

Honestly, Sukuna reminds me a lot of a lot of characters in Chainsaw Man. People who are trying to climb from this state of misery, of struggling just to meet basic desires, and learning to be human. Yet Sukuna is so strong he never needed to learn to be human. He never needed to cooperate with others to survive — or at least, doesn’t seem to believe he did — and so he never saw the value in it. And so he’s basically brute forced his way around having to undergo an arc like Denji’s, and has instead ended up a hedonistic black hole devising all these complicated philosophical arguments to justify what is, really, a very simplistic, predatory desire to only satisfy his basic material wants and creative interests and nothing else for anyone else.

But like, it’s not that simple. If you give to others, you get something immaterial in return. I can’t quantity it or define it, but I’m sure most of you know what I mean. The happiness that comes from taking care of others’ needs, and the deeper levels beyond that happiness. Like I do believe that’s the subtext behind Binding Vows as metaphor: that you almost never give without getting in return. You might not get the same thing back, in the same form, but being changed by the act of putting the needs and wants of others before your own even temporarily still is part of the exchange. It’s part of becoming complete as a human being.

Sukuna has defied that exchange and broken the cycle, and I don’t think it’s inherently for his own benefit. There are some thing about being human that you don’t just get to opt out of, no matter how much you claim you’re more than or less than human. Even if Sukuna doesn’t think he’s lost something of value, he has. And that something of value is inherent to the whole point of this final battle.

Jujutsu Kaisen is basically working on two big problems. There are lots of ideas at play in the series, but there are two fundamental problems for which every fiight, every character arc, every turn of the gears consitutes part of the calculus to solve one or both of those problems.

The first problem, a thematic and philosophical one: “How do you love and fight for something when you know you’re going to die?”

The second problem, a metatextual one: “Is there any artistic and social value left in the Shonen formula as it stands in the modern day?”

And this fight is, ultimately, where GeGe is showing their work. It’s where Yuji has to defeat Sukuna, if not in terms of out-boxing him, then in terms of prevailing over his beliefs about humanity and the world as a whole.

GeGe has stripped Yuji of everything that is supposed to determine the worth of a Shonen protagonist’s victory. He’s not fighting alone, he didn’t go off and train all by himself, he trained with a lot of powerful, smart people who helped him. And Yuji is arguably not even the most important participant in the fight. So why should we care if Yuji wins?

The answer is so simple it’s easy to lose track of it. Yuji is risking his life to rescue someone, his friend, from being exploited, and to save the people of Japan from being exploited. Even after everything that’s happened, Yuji plants his fucking feet and takes a stance that no, shithead, there is such a thing as the right thing. Maybe it isn’t obvious all the time, and it sure as hell isn’t always easy to know what it is, but he knows now with certainty what it isn’t: to exploit others or to destroy yourself. We can find our answers somewhere in-between.

Sometimes we can’t resolve our problems with a tidy solution that makes everyone happy and sometimes we have to carve a piece of ourselves out and give to something we won’t be sure to see the fruition of, but that’s just life. It doesn’t mean we have to throw away all hope for things to get better. Even if the world won’t become utopian, it can still become better, no matter how many nihilists hide their own inequities behind assertions that there is no point.

Nihilism is not a solution to the problems of life, it is the choice to run away and hide. To give into nihilism is to give up the fight even while other people are still fighting all around you.

So that’s the fucking point of the Sukunadome. Nobara already said it better than anyone else has before she made Mahito look like the bitch he was and always will be: “Sometimes you need to fight even when you know you can’t win.” Because you won’t always win and you won’t escape death, nor will you know what lies beyond death. However, you can still live according to your principles and fight for the things you see as meaningful even if other people don’t.

That is why so many characters have come and gone from the fight. All gave some, some gave all. Nobody is truly useless — even if Miwa self-deprecatingly jokes about being useless, she still was the one thing standing between Maki and Malevolent Shrine’s eviscerating hellscape. Even Amai’s sweets-conjuring joke technique saved Hana from a would-be fatal fall and helped to supply sugar to the brains of people using reverse cursed technique in Shoko’s triage. Larue couldn’t do much, but they caught Sukuna’s eye at the perfect time for Yuji to land a Black Flash, and that means something. It all means something.

Given how deeply GeGe clearly respects Hunter X Hunter, I want to end off by citing one of the quotes in Hunter X Hunter that has been the most impactful for me and I suspect has been about as impactful on GeGe: “It seems small things… infinitesimally small things… are needed to build the entire universe. The size of a thing has nothing to do with its power.” We always seem to direct our senses to the superlatives. The largest, the oldest, the loudest, the things that hit the hardest. But while it would be wrong to throw those out, we often lose sight of how many little, important things there are in the midst of those huge, important things.

Seeing someone’s smile when you remembered something they said that showed you were listening to them. The feeling of a warm breeze on a summer morning. The smell of honeysuckle on your walk home. Waking up to rain on a Sunday. The taste of watermelon. Getting married. Having your heart broken. Songs that make you smile, songs that make you cry — songs that do both, and songs that make you feel things you can’t describe. When you’re always looking to those immense, monolithic things, always comparing your seemingly small, seemingley meaningless life to them, you lose sight of just how meaningful all of it is.

Just because it doesn’t have cosmic, absolute meaning doesn’t make it meaningless. Every little thing that means something to you is worthy of being cherished. The people around you, the things that bring you happiness, even if that happiness is going to ebb and flow. It’s all worth fighting for and living for. It just takes bravery and conviction to keep fighting and keep living with authenticity and love. And if there’s an artistic value, a greater meaning to Shonen, now and always, it’s the unerring, unabashed belief that there’s a reason to aim high and not give up.

Because sometimes, life hurts. But if it’s just pain, Yuji Itadori will never stop. We’ll see what I have to amend, reconsider, or elaborate on when the fight is finished. I hope this gave some of you a new way to look at it.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk meta #jjk manga spoilers #jjk analysis #sukuna #ryomen sukuna #yuji itadori #akutami gege #the sukunadome #beyond sukunadome #pray for the jjk fandom

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bioethicists · 9 months ago

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Why do you use '+' and '/' instead of words? Not to be rude, I am curious

LOL thank you for being polite about this. i've gotten some pretty rude/condescending comments or tags about it (one person just tagged a post of mine "you can just type out 'and' babes, it's fine" which like... fuck off?). one person tagged a post of mine 'for further study' specifically of my syntax which my friends + family had a FIELD DAY with

there's a few reasons- partly bcuz i communicate via textspeak quite regularly + my texting is actually so much more atrocious bcuz i do not make an attempt to correct most typos. i keep pretty intense hybrid academic/field note/personal journals + i already used '+' in those for brevity's sake so that i could write faster. additionally, i have a compulsion which sometimes makes me feel the need to write words 3x before moving on but symbols/numbers are not usually affected by this + i suppose that on the flip side, my liberal use of / is related to the compulsive need to be as thorough as possible (as well as put things in 3s) + a fear that i will miss information + 'spoil' my point. i do very genuinely worry that my points will be 'wrong'/'contaminated'/'bad' if i don't put certain things in 3s.

but also, when i was hospitalized in 2022 i got very attached to my concepts related to dialectics + multiplicity + i got a tattoo of the '+' sign to represent this. with language, my goal is usually to tear it up (forgive me but that beckett quote rules my life) rather than string it together. using things like '+', '/', '|', liberal use of '()', etc (i've also felt quite compelled to make use of the assignment operator, '< -', but i'm probably going to confine that to poetry for the time being) lets me feel like i'm seeding my language with a sense of multiplicity while remaining (more) concise (than i could have been)

also also, i do a lot of programming for my job (like statistics/data analysis programming in R) + i've gained a great appreciation for the brevity/precision/elegance offered by programming. similarly, i do a lot of translation (well not so much anymore due to The Tasks) which similarly has brought me to a much more antagonistic relationship with the limitations of language + a desire to capture the thing in between it which is perhaps a really silly thing to claim i could do by replacing my '+' signs but. someday.

needless to say, my formal academic writing is NOT like this but my hope is to someday gain the resources i need from academic in such a way that i can dedicate 100% of my time to writing which aligns with these values.

if this seems excessive, it is because i am insane. hope that helps.

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aletterinthenameofsanity · 9 months ago

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(from my main but this is variousqueerthings): am really enjoying reading your analyses of amy -- I definitely felt more resonance with her on this last Big watch I did, when I could disconnect the way she would at times be underserved by the writing, from what was actually going on in her story, and it's fun going from there to reading deeper analysis that picks on those threads even further

I don't know if this refers to only my straight analyses I've posted on this blog, the rambling rants I've done in the tags of other people's posts, or my fics (someone once called a fic of mine an "eloquent rant" and sometimes I feel like that's a great way to describe the more "character-study"-esque of my fics), but either way thanks! I actually had my own reevaluation of Amy Pond as a character when I got back into Doctor Who this year thanks to various other blogs/others analyses (shout out to @saint-eleventh, @thefiresofpompeii, @spoofymcgee, @ameliapondmd, and plenty of others, including you, @variousqueerthings, with your rewatch series). The first time around, when I watching Doctor Who as a freshman in high school, I couldn't pick apart the Moffatisms from the foundation of a very compelling character full of fascinating contradictions and unabiding faith and a desperate loneliness that connects so well with Eleven's. (I also, full admission, hadn't gotten the shift between how companions were written in Davies' era v. Moffat's, with the companion's arc being as integral to the story during 9 and 10 v. during 11's- though I am also now realizing the mistakes that Davies made, especially with his handling of Martha and other black characters.) Now, though, I can ride with the fairytale vibes of Season Five, which has steadily risen through my season rankings, and can also appreciate the push-and-pull of Amy Pond.

I hate love triangles but looking at Rory and the Doctor now as embodying the themes of domesticity/growing up/stagnation v. travelling/danger/curiosity and the way that the narrative constantly tries to shove Amy into the former (literally making her a wife, a womb, a mother, a vessel, stripping away her agency at every turn) makes it all the clearer how Amy, whenever given the chance, turns to the TARDIS. She doesn't want Rory to die in Amy's Choice but chooses him by choosing the TARDIS and life with the Doctor. Her biggest act of agency in the show is demanding the Doctor show up at her wedding, literally yanking him into existence and demanding that he prove to the world that her faith in him was never mad, was always the most sane thing in the world. Even at the end of the God Complex, when she should hate him more than anything, she still believes in him (and frankly, he believes in her. Eleven and Amy are each other's gods as much as they are each other's best friends).

I think that Eleven and Amy are made for each other in the same way that Nine/Rose, Ten/Martha, and Twelve/Clara are made for each other, to believe in each other, to change each other, to make each other's stories full. I love Donna&Ten, Clara&Eleven, and Bill&Twelve as much as anyone else does (I seriously adore all of these dynamics), but you can't tell the Doctors' stories and arcs without the first set of pairings I mentioned. And realizing that about Amy and Eleven and the effect they had on each other (the fact that after eight hundred years without her, she is still the last face he sees before he regenerates, the fact that she can literally remember him from nonexistence) really made me realize the potential and impact of her run as a companion/their dynamic this go 'round. I think that's the great thing about a show that runs for this long and with so many doctor&companion pairings- you are constantly going to bump up against these relationships that transcend friendship and romance and go into world-shattering, character-arc-altering, often-verging-on-codependent dynamics that impact both sides for the rest of their lives.

#whoops sorry for rambling #but that is what i'm known for #thank you for the ask!#i loved your rewatch review series and it impacted me writing fic for doctor who so much #i love getting into fandom and into this fascinating method of conversation that you can't quite get in real life #when you bounce analyses and opinions off of each other fundamentally altering your own opinion and others' in the process #meta #doctor who #my asks #amy pond #eleventh doctor #11amy #tenmartha #twelveclara #ninerose #please anyone who wants send me asks! I love talking about my opinions/analyses of shows #these have been prolonging the doctor who hyperfixation in the most fascinating way bc i thought i was done after my fic series ended #but no it's hanging on in a different way than fandoms normally do

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thisisnotthenerd · 11 months ago

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thought it would be good to create a place where i can find all of my works without having to extensively search my tumblr. also a way for me to see if i can summarize how my writing has changed over the course of six years.

also: hi! i'm thisisnotthenerd. i came to fandom around 2016 and i've been writing fanfic since ~2018. recently i've gotten into data analysis and meta for dimension 20, so you'll probably see a bunch of that from me. to see some of my work, click through this post!

FANWORKS:

FMA:B

Edward's New Groove: crackfic where Ed gets genderbent after the Promised Day and immediately gets thrown into solving another mystery about Xerxes. discontinued, though i may go back to rewrite and update when i have the energy.

The Alchemist's New Groove: the promised rewrite of Edward's New Groove.

A:TLA

The Spirit-Touched Series: AU where Raava isn't the only Great Spirit to take on a vessel. focused on the Gaang and their adventures as a troop of living spirits.

MDZS/The Untamed

Unconcerned With Worldly Pursuits: Lan Wangji decides to start acting like Wei Wuxian after his death as a memorial. Chaos ensues. Comes with an author-read podfic.

Dimension 20

bands of iron, bands of gold: Elody's perspective on Gerard's disappearance and what she saw of the TPK in the original Neverafter

bigger and better things: an exploration of the bad kids as children and what it means to be destined for greatness

thisisnotthenerd's d20 stats: a statistics series that i started after i finished watching every season of dimension 20 (at the time this was during mentopolis, and i've kept up live since then) that catalogs a wide variety, from episode runtimes, to level progressions, to character ages, and more. you can check out the #thisisnotthenerd's d20 stats tag here on tumblr, or look at my magnum opus of a spreadsheet.

Songs of the Celestine: a gift for Finn (@shakespearestolemyurl) for the 2023 D20 Gift Exchange that became an original song with lots of academic/theoretical scaffolding. another fic that includes recordings, this time of the song.

Musings on the Solisian School District: my thoughts on the structure of the Aguefort Adventuring Academy as we come back to school for Fantasy High Junior Year. lots of theories on leveling and how the quest system works.

the perils of xp leveling: a subseries to Musings on the Solisian School District, which considers the difference between milestone and xp leveling in fantasy high, using the bad kids and the rat grinders as case studies.

the Polls: I've done a fair few of these, so check out the tags to see the winners: #level 20 battle royale, #ultimate d20 class fight, #battle episode of all time, and most recently, who has their shit together?

the d20 episode randomizer: what its says on the tin. if you can't decide on what episode of d20 to watch, pick one with the click of a button. also includes options for alphabetical, chronological, and other cursed sorting methods for watching.

Critical Role:

Divinity in the Face of Calamity: post-Apogee Solstice flash fics that incorporate mechanics into the storytelling. some have specific word counts, some don't.

smaller AUs: this is stuff I've considered but haven't made into full fledged fics of their own yet: the bell's hells leverage au and the cr regency au.

#my pinned post #fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood #avatar the last airbender #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #dimension 20 #critical role #my writing #thisisnotthenerd's d20 stats

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hikennosabo · 1 year ago

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now that i've marinated in trimax's ending, i wanted to reflect a bit. i definitely don't have it in me to write a full review or anything lmao, but... it was a really incredible story, and i had a great time. i don't think i've ever cried this much over a manga, lol... usually i cry over audiovisual media. even all my crying about one piece has mostly been over the anime. other manga i've cried over off the top of my head have been different types of crying, if that makes sense (like crying over shimanami tasogare because the queer themes hit home, not because i was overly invested in & emotional about the character arcs). other manga like devilman and csm hit me emotionally but i didn't necessarily shed tears over them, and if i did certainly not as much as i did trimax lol.

i (predictably, if you know me, i love characters with complicated sibling relationships) latched onto knives when i watched tristamp... he is definitely hard to like in the manga sometimes, but his character arc is fantastic, so i ended up starting and ending this journey crying over him LMAO. i really really love all the characters in this story, except for like... the cartoonishly evil one-off bad guys and, as we all know, chapel. lmao. most of the characters are likable in one way or another, by some combination of being cool, strong, charismatic, funny, etc... just being complex and fantastically human, which is only natural in a story about human nature.

and of course i need to give a huge thank you to @trigunbookclub, @revenantghost for organizing, @trigun-manga-overhaul for the incredible scans & translation, and everyone in the tag for making this such a fun experience!

i loved reading everyone's posts, it really helped fuel the brainrot, and writing my own posts ended up being A Task but also fun. even though i feel my posts were mostly an exercise in inventing new ways to portray crying and screaming over text as opposed to everyone else's thoughtful observations and analysis LOL. and participating in book club kept me reading at a good pace, otherwise i either would have binged the whole thing in like 2 weeks or gotten distracted and not finished, so thanks for keeping me on schedule lol.

this is not the last you'll see of me in the tag, i still have art (memes) i want to make, there are a LOT of things i want to draw, a potentially (relatively) big project in my brain which i have no guarantee i'll get to lmao, plus character/ship playlists if i finish them, and maybe some other posts as i rewatch tristamp and 98 again. and i've still got to read multiple bullets ofc.

also i was holding back on following people because i was trying to avoid spoilers (which i failed at anyway because i have no self-control), but now i can follow people in the tag sooooo hello and sorry if you see me going through your trigun tags

#trigunbookclub #june speaks #trigun talk #oops this got way longer than i thought it would

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calling4glaives · 2 years ago

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Stats and Graphs

Thanks to everyone who is participating in the polls, they've been a lot of fun and we've loved hearing your thoughts. Did you know last week's poll tied, by the way?

For our first big post leading up to Nyx Week 2023, we thought we'd do a little bit of a throw back to last year's Nyx Week, when we compiled some stats from Ao3 about Nyx and the fics that feature them. A lot has happened in 15 months, and we've gotten quite a few more fantastic fics featuring our Hero. Let's keep up the good work and get him some more attention!

First up, the overall FFXV character list. Here's last year's chart.

There are 861 more FFXV fics since our last graph, and Nyx was tagged in 124 new fics. He's still the 8th most tagged character, but his percentage of the FFXV fics has gone up 0.1%! Progress!

Last time we asked if your preferred Nyx pairing was a rare pair or not (with some controversy over what counts as a rare pair), so this year we'll let you make your own analysis regarding your rival ships.

NB: Last year the "multi" pairings were separated out into their component sections, but this year they are all lumped together, which might skew comparisons slightly.

NyxNoct is still holding strong, but several of the less common pairs have gained some ground - CorNyx and Nyx/Reader have both increased, as has most of the pairings at the low end of the graph, at the expense of Gladio/Nyx for some reason. Interesting!

But we cannot forget platonic relationships either! Here's the last set.

Multi being its own category probably lowered Libertus & Crowe's standing a bit, gentling the curve this time. Cor and Pelna have both dropped as well, but there are more fics with Selena in them!

Any thoughts on the stats, old, new, or the changes between them? Does this match what you've seen in fanart or other expressions of fandom's creativity? Does this make you want to add to the counts, redeem Libertus and Crowe as Nyx's best friends or boost your rare pair? Please join us the first week of June for Nyx Week 2023 if it does! In the meantime, keep up the great work!

#ffxv #kingsglaive #Nyx Ulric #NyxWeek2023 #stats

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ednito · 2 years ago

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Why did you make the riddler a Christian?

I HAVE HAD THIS IN MY INBOX FOR AWHILE IM SO SORRY FOR NOT ANSWERING JDBDHDGSH

So that's a valid question! Why Is my riddler a Christian/morman? Well he's not, he's a cult leader.

So basically, my au has a LOT of changes to the characters, some more obvious than others! A great example is my poison ivy (who I'll make an in-depth analysis on another day). Who's a fungus monster. It just so happens that my riddler is a cult leader! I don't want to go too in depth on his backstory as I wanna draw those in comics or write it in a separate post but I'll talk about his cult and some parts of it and how it works, but first a little bit of contest for certain things and relationships he has with characters.

So in my au, there's a hierarchy of power in Gotham. It's a bit complicated, but riddlers cult, called Quandarism, is at the top of this hypothetical triangle of Gotham hierarchy. One could compare it to scientology or Alamo Christian Ministries as the cult of Quandarism is highly tied to the upper class, media, and companies in Gotham. Having his own networks on television and the internet riddler and his upper subordinates have control over a lot of things, almost all of the rich is apart of Quandarism because of that controll, the Wayne's are fortunately not apart of it but since many are they're ridiculed by other companies and such and are left out often from specific charities that riddler runs. (The people in Gotham, though, are thankful and happy the Wayne's aren't a part of it).

Certain rogues are actually apart of Quandarism, prominent figures would be penguin, two face, and music meister; music meister actually being head of the music for Quandarism and is riddlers main choir boy, penguin is smart enough to see the bullshit of the cult and hates being apart of it but is forced to by Falcone (their relationship is complicated but will be explained in a penguin centered post.) Two Face is only really apart of it for penguin (they have an odd mutual friendship/rival dynamic). Certain others affiliate themselves to Quandarism but aren't apart of it, scarecrow being a big one- only showing up at specific moments but isn't apart of it and had no interest or belief in it (scarecrow will also get his own centered post).

But what does this say for riddler? Does he believe what he preaches? NO! Of course he doesn't he's literally pulling shit out of his ass most of the time! And some people know he's bullshitting like batman and penguin! But they can't do anything about it because the cult keeps growing and growing. Riddler prays on the gullible and insecure people who are confused with what their doing with their life, people who's lost control, and people who are lonely. He craves for the attention, the worship, and the love that people have that he hasn't gotten in years. He makes people pay for their memberships, pay for 'God's' love, and pay for his love and forgiveness. He's easily reaching up to be one of the richest men in Gotham because of it.

Of course, my riddler is more complicated then that, one of these days I'll make a proper character centered one for him where it goes more in-depth in his backstory, his character, relationships and goals- hopefully I make that post soon.

So welcome! To what I call the eddieverse! Or also the eddieAU, your pick! From now on, when it comes to my au, I'll tag it so I can keep track of what I post about them here, LMAO

Hope that answered your question HSVDHSVS

#eddieverse #eddieverse riddler #eddieverse Quandarism #text post #dc au #dc #the riddler #dc riddler #edward nygma #edward nashton

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maeamian · 2 years ago

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I posted 5,544 times in 2022

169 posts created (3%)

5,375 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kelpforestdwellers

@chibi-oneiros

@beingatoaster

@cipheramnesia

@dykeredhood

I tagged 1,223 of my posts in 2022

#lmao - 24 posts

#lol - 21 posts

#:3 - 9 posts

#yeah - 7 posts

#great post op - 5 posts

#yeah... - 5 posts

#o7 - 5 posts

#this guy gets it - 4 posts

#it doesn't stop being magic just because you know how it works - 4 posts

#cymru am byth - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#maybe the biggest change will come when we won't have to change much at all / when maniacs holler 'grow grow grow' we can choose to be small

My Top Posts in 2022:

Got jury duty coming up? What better time than now to learn about the extremely cool and good things you can do on that jury if you get empaneled? (because learning about them after you've been empaneled is a crime)

710 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

Hey gang, guess what!

Chicken Butt

🐔🍑

847 notes - Posted November 27, 2022

Not sure I'm the exact right person for this oral history, but since the birdsite is imploding and advertisers might fucking try some shit over here it's a good time for all of us to remember everyone's favorite meme: "John C Miller, CEO and President of the Denny's Corporation, is a Capitalist Running Dog and his wealth must be seized and redistributed to the people”

Back in '16 or so, Denny's had a reasonably large presence on this site, from a non-artistic standpoint it's fair to say that whoever was running that blog did a pretty good job of keeping up to date on the current memes and staying relevant. Many of us, myself included, kinda just got used to them being here and let it happen, gave it little thought, maybe gave it a chuckle from time to time. At some point someone was like 'actually it sucks that a major corporation is trying to hang out with us and be our friend, they were, of course, absolutely right, and their genius response was to create a meme that they couldn't fucking coopt, hence "John C Miller, CEO and President of the Denny's Corporation, is a Capitalist Running Dog and his wealth must be seized and redistributed to the people" became the fun new thing.

"Coopt this you old so and so" was the idea and it worked pretty well, they did try it, but in a way that clearly was dancing around the central premise everyone knew they wouldn't be able to engage with. They stuck around for a little while longer, but it was clearly a major turning point in their ability to use this site to hang out with us, a good thing.

The point, as advertisers try to find new, less feral places to spend their advertising budgets, is that we don't have to just ignore them, that's a good start, but we can bite their fucking hands if they try it. We do not have to play nice with advertisers trying to be our friends, we can be feral.

Anyhow, I definitely am not positive I've gotten every detail right, so if there's any major corrections anyone needs to add, feel free, memedoccumentation had a post about it that helped me refresh my memory although my analysis of aspects differ from this point in history, as it were, but if you want to read up a bit more this is a solid starting point that has some fun examples

1,325 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

Happy 13 year anniversary (July 25th 2022) to the last time the United States raised its Federal Minimum Wage! In an astounding and unacceptable transfer of wealth to the already wealthy, it's lost a full 27% of its purchasing power since then!!

7,355 notes - Posted July 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

BTW don't click any NYT links today (December 8th 2022), the NYT Union have called for a digital boycott in support of their 24 hour walk-out

10,405 notes - Posted December 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #lmao my number 1 post is literally one I made this morning great work everyone

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shellforbrains · 26 days ago

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I know I'm very late in responding to this so sorry that this is way outta the blue. I've gotten increasingly worn out with the Helluva Boss fandom and haven't really wanted to talk about it much anymore. This Stolas analysis was basically the last real thing I wrote about Helluva before essentially just giving up on my yapping.

Honestly, I still don't want to talk about it much but I figured this did deserve a response because I do agree with you! You make a lot of great points here both in the post text and the tags!

While I myself was someone that unlearned the shit I was raised with essentially "on my own" with only the internet as my guide, I understand that I'm an outlier. And, before I started to make a turn around on my beliefs and behaviors, the internet first made them worse before making them "better" so to speak.

But like. Even if I was essentially "alone" in my reeducation of myself and my unlearning with not really asking anyone questions or shit, I still had people (online) that I looked up to and trusted whose opinions I listened to and learned from because, well, I cared about them and what they were saying. And a lot of what they were saying opened my eyes.

So even if I was an outlier in that I did all that shit "alone" (and because of what I personally went through I don't think it's impossible for someone else to do it "alone" too), I don't think that it would actually work for Stolas.

My point in saying that he has a smartphone and that Google/Gaggle is right there is more venting frustrations with how a lot of the fandom coddles him and believes that he is absolutely incapable of learning on his own and needs the idea that he's privileged (and how his behavior can hurt people) spoon fed to him like he's a toddler rather than a 30-something year old man.

And sure, Stolas definitely will need some help and guidance! As I said, even if I personally did most of my learning "alone" I still had people I looked up to that I was learning from (even if those people didn't exactly realize it lmao). I'm not saying that no one should help Stolas and guide him and be there to answer whatever silly "I'm privileged what do you mean you're oppressed" questions. I even said I absolutely anticipate Blitzø being someone like that for him eventually.

I just don't like the idea that because Stolas has no idea how the real world works because he was raised in his "gilded cage" that means that he's not still accountable for the harm he's caused or that he is helpless to learn anything without someone marginalized doing all the emotional labor to educate him completely. Even if, yeah, google/gaggle might lead him the wrong way if he tried to educate himself, he still is capable of trying.

Alongside something drastic happening to wake him up to reality, he still has to want to learn and want to try (which he absolutely will, this is Stolas we're talking about). It can't all be on someone else's shoulders.

I didn't articulate that well in my original post though and I can see how it definitely came off more like I was saying Stolas should just only use the internet rather than depending on/learning from anyone like Blitzø. And that's very much on me!

okay, strap in, here we go.

i think i & a lot of other people went into Apology Tour expecting Stolas to be at different point in his character development then he actually is. but that development is definitely still coming!

a deep dive into where Stolas currently is at character wise with insights from my own personal life experience.

in this deep dive into where he currently is, i want to use what i personally have experienced & witnessed in my own life as a guide. bc if i'm being honest, after i had time to mull it over, looking at Stolas in this episode was both like looking in a mirror & also like looking at some of my own family members who i have tried to correct on their own microaggresions in the past.

now i want to preface this by saying that i am white. i will not be speaking on this from the perspective of a POC. i am speaking on this from the perspective of someone who has had to go on a similar (but obvs not as extreme) journey that Stolas is on, and as someone who has seen people i love vehemently deny their problematic actions when i have tried to tell them how harmful they are & how hard it is to actually argue with them about it.

and i'd also like to add that i am not trying to shit on Stolas with this & say that Blitzø did nothing wrong in their arrangement ever or in Apology Tour. Blitzø is also on a character arc of his own & growing as a character.

both he AND Stolas continued to suck at communicating this episode, & it wasn't anyone's sole fault there. i'm focusing less on their conflict (though of course i will make reference to it) & more focusing on where Stolas currently is in his journey & how him acting the way he does in AT is... not far off from reality, honestly.

even if it's painful to watch at times, i do have to commend the writing there haha. bc it's pretty fuckin' spot on.

okay with all that out of the way, let's get our hands dirty:

the description of the episode itself confirms that Stolas is "still not quite being self-aware enough at times" & boy did they hit the nail on the head here lmao.

i think most people will agree that Stolas still has a LOT to learn about the race/class difference & the power imbalance between he & Blitzø, but even still, some were expecting better out of him in AT than what we got. myself included.

but let's look at FM from his perspective:

he's off his meds & obviously went into that night with a very black & white view of the possible outcomes: either Blitzø returns his feelings & they'll be dating by the end of the night, or he's been keeping Blitzø against his will & is a monster. no room for shades of grey.

and when Blitzø (understandably for multiple reasons) mistakes this basically out of nowhere declaration of feelings as a form of rp, Stolas (very understandably) gets his feelings hurt. he shuts down & stonewalls.

he doesn't see any shades of grey when Blitzø chases after him, says he needs a minute to think, makes reference to his feelings being played with, or the fact that, while aggressive, Blitzø was trying to talk things out with him. Stolas only hears the yelling and (again, understandably) gets triggered.

ALONG WITH, it seems, only hearing the "everything you've put me through, you rich, privileged asshole" comment & the "treat me like one of your butler imps" comment. which, if i'm being honest, i think ALSO really hurt his feelings, based on how he ends up acting the next day in AT.

here's where my personal experience comes in, so let's tldr my story real fast:

i was raised in a fairly privileged position & was basically brainwashed into far right ideology from a young age at the private school i attended. trust me, i went on a WILDASS journey to unlearn some of the craziest & most vile shit that had been hammered into my head since i was a little tiny child. it's a tough journey, too, that's filled with a lot of ups & downs.

part of what makes Stolas such a special character to me is seeing that journey reflected on screen with the good, the bad, & the ugly. which is also why i get very frustrated with fans that want to ignore the bad & the ugly parts of Stolas' character & journey.

bc, yes, while he is a fictional character, it is always important to hold oneself accountable. even though i am a completely changed person from who i was all those years ago, i know that even at 33 there are probably things i still need to unlearn that i just haven't stumbled upon to challenge me yet.

the journey that Stolas is on is not a single switch flip or a short, easy one. nor should it be treated as one. however, i think it's important to dive into these things and see where it's coming from, even if it shines light on the bad & the ugly in a way that some people may not like.

now with my personal experience in mind, & how Full Moon went from Stolas' perspective, let's finally address that painful exchange that happens the morning after Full Moon.

emotions are still high, neither of them has had time to really process, Stolas is still very deep in his own feefees, and those feefees are HURT.

Blitzø, in his mind, has rejected a relationship with him. as well as accused him of being a racist/classist, something that Stolas does NOT see himself as. and, like ANY privileged person mostly oblivious to their own behavior, he gets his feefees hurt over this as well as getting very defensive about it.

while the bar is quite literally in hell, Stolas DOES treat imps... better than other Goetia. that doesn't mean he treats them WELL, bc he DOESN'T, but to Stolas himself, he sees other goetia carry imps around in purses like animals or throw them around like objects like Stella did. in his mind, he's treating imps very well! so he must think, "so why would Blitzø or that Stiker guy even say anything like that?! that's ridiculous & hurtful!"

enter stage left Blitzø, who starts off with his typical sexy talk which then turns into needling/arguing. (once again, oof. they both continue to suck at communicating this ep so hard.)

and when this exchange happens, it is... it is so quintessential oblivious privileged person getting defensive.

"i'm not racist/classist! when have i EVER done something like that? you talk just like those people that hate all white/rich people!"

i have literally heard basically those exact words, and ones similar to what Stolas says later, from family that i have tried to point out microaggresions to before.

microaggresions are called microaggresions for a reason & are obviously not considered the same as the more outwardly hateful shit for a reason. they are harder for people to realize that they are doing/participating in and therefore very easy to get their feefees hurt over & defensive about.

bc the ppl committing microaggresions hear the big, ""scary"" words like "racism" or "classism" & think of the most extreme examples, not the ""mundane"" shit that THEY do. so if someone says they're being racist/classist, they think they're being accused of the extreme shit & think people are being absolutely ridiculous.

bc OBVIOUSLY Stolas isn't carrying an imp around in a purse or yeeting them like Stella does so what's the big deal, right? /s

moving forward in their exchange, we come to these lines. and here's where, if i haven't ruffled feathers already, i'm probably going to ruffle them now.

by saying this, Stolas DOES make a point but also... DOESN'T at the same time, ending up only reinforcing his own ignorance & lack of self-awareness. but before anyone starts furiously typing to me, let me explain.

Blitzø DOES need to hear this to begin to understand how Stolas has been making attempts & does care in his own way, just like how Blitzø also needed to hear what Fizz said in Oops for the same reason.

HOWEVER, just like how Fizz said what he said in Oops without full context of the arrangement that Blitzø & Stolas had, Stolas says what he says here without the full context of his actions & how they actually read to Blitzø, especially in the context of the deal they had.

he is genuine about his attempt to make Blitzø understand he cares, but just like before, this is ALSO quintessential privileged person being defensive.

"if i were racist/classist why would i want to date a POC/a poor person? if i were racist/classist why would i want to be seen with a POC/a poor person? if i were racist/classist why would i want to spend time with a POC/a poor person or support them?"

yes, Stolas cares about Blitzø. but this is called being seen as an Exception or One Of The Good Ones. Stolas doesn't look down on Blitzø as much as he does other imps, but that doesn't make Blitzø feel any better. and even still, while Blitzø is the Exception, it still doesn't mean that he isn't still looked down on or been the victim of microaggresions from Stolas.

and honestly, some of the talk i've seen these past few days around the fandom regarding this has been... very fucking exhausting.

yes, i more than anyone understand that Stolas is not self-aware enough to fully realize his own behaviors yet. but everyone seems to be putting this entirely on Blitzø's shoulders to fix & educate Stolas on this despite the fact that Blitzø is also hurting & neck deep in his emotions as well.

Stolas gets a pass for being ignorant & uneducated & neck deep in his feelings but Blitzø is apparently supposed to be able to articulate perfectly to Stolas every microaggresion he's suffered & be able to sit him down & give him a lecture on Hell's Racism & Classism.

just like how it is not the job of POC to educate white people, or any other underprivileged group to educate a privileged one, it is NOT entirely on Blitzø's shoulders to educate Stolas.

Stolas is approx. 36 years old & has a smartphone. Google (or i guess it's gaggle in hell) exists & Stolas shows later on in AT that he DOES indeed have tiny blips of self-awareness, little nagging feelings that he's missing something.

yes, it would definitely HELP to have Blitzø explain his own perspective to Stolas, as i'm sure Stolas would be willing to listen if Blitzø can find a way to properly elaborate. and i do think Blitzø WILL at some point in the future do that!

BUT. confronting or educating loved ones is SO much harder than anyone else. i think part of the reason WHY Blitzø has a hard time saying specifics to Stolas (besides his own self-hatred & communication issues) is BECAUSE he cares about him so much.

it was not easy at ALL for me to try to confront loved ones in my life about their behavior, & being met with the defensive reactions only made it more painful on top of that. it is not uncommon at all for ppl to let a privileged loved one get away with things that they would NEVER let someone else get away with.

this leads into where i basically want to say... if you're having any worry or doubts about Stolas' character arc right now, don't worry. we've gotten some pretty clear signs from AT that there's still plenty to be addressed on Stolas' side & that it WILL be coming.

he simply is just not as far along in the journey as some of us thought he was, & that's okay. he'll get there, even if it is painful right now.

personally, my biggest theory on HOW he'll get there is the whole "Stolas is stripped of his title & everything he owns" theory that's been circulating around the fandom. something that drastic happening to him, leaving him with nothing, & forcing him to see what Hell is actually like for the lower class outside of his gilded cage would be one hell of a wake up call for him.

but even if that theory isn't correct, i still believe that it will not just be solely Blitzø or others around him showing Stolas the error of his ways.

i am of the opinion that something drastic will happen that will also help shift his view much more into focus & make him even more receptive to what he's being told about the racism & classism of Hell.

bc oftentimes, it DOES take something drastic in a journey like this one to actually light a fire under one's ass. what that will be for Stolas...? well, i guess we'll just have to wait & see!

#helluva boss #ramblings #long posts

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scriptmedic · 2 years ago

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Support Da Scripty?

Hey all! After some hemming and hawing, I've turned on the Tip Jar for this account. If you've gotten value from me and my posts in the past, and you can afford it, it would be really helpful to leave a tip. (I wish this had been available when this blog was more active, but it is what it is.)

That said - only tip what you can spare, and if that's nothing, that's totally okay.

Also: there are other ways to have an exchange of value!

I've got two books out on Amazon that make great little holiday gifties, for yourself or a writer you cherish:

Maim Your Characters: How Injuries Work in Fiction is a book that focuses on the storytelling mechanics of using injuries effectively in stories, including plot arc breakdowns and analysis of how injuries have played a role in some major stories out there (like Misery and The Hunger Games).

Blood on the Page Volume 1: A Writer's Compendium of Injuries gives all the little details, medical facts, healing times, etc. that you need in order to make your traumatic storytelling look and feel authentic. (There is no Volume 2, and that's okay, because this one is pretty comprehensive)

No dosh? No sweat! A significant portion of each book has appeared on the blog over time, so if you're strapped for cash, take a good dive through the archives and you'll find most of these books there.

Also, if you're looking for an archived page of medical writing advice based on a pretty robust tagging system, the Mastertags Page has you covered.

I hope you have an amazing day, whether you're in a position to offer support or not.

Be fantastic, and write something you love.

xoxo, Aunt Scripty

PS: if you missed the announcement yesterday, I also have a new personal blog, @xoxoauntscripty, and would love to hang out over there as well!

#blog business

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spenciegoob · 4 years ago

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Dethroned (Requested)

A/N: I know the request said the relationship between Reader and Luke is platonic, but I kinda dropped subtle hints that Luke is slightly pining for Reader... oop.

Request: smutty post-prison Reid being jealous. Like him just being absolutely in love with reader, like he had been since she joined the BAU but was too nervous to say anything so settled for being mega close best friends. Then when he returns from prison he finds out that her and Luke have become close friends whilst he’s been gone (its simply platonic though) and he ends up snapping and just absolutely annihilating the reader over her desk in the office after everyone else has left

Pairing: Post Prison!Spencer x Fem!Reader

Category: Smut

Content Warning: jealous!spencer, exhibition, hair pulling, degradation/praise, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, breeding kink

Masterlist

Word Count: 3.9K

______

It was a gradual realization on his part. Spencer was so overwhelmed with coming home, his mom and Cat to even really take notice in the shift of your attention from him to Luke Alvez.

It wasn’t like you completely ignored him since his return. You were Spencer’s best friend, the title he settled on all those years ago when you all but skipped into the BAU and into his life.

And it wasn’t like you didn’t have other male friends. Before his leave, Derek and you had gotten along pretty well right off the bat, and Spencer never thought about it twice. If anything, he was ecstatic that two people that were so important in his life were also important to each other.

But when Spencer was stuck behind physical bars that represented every feeling for you he’s tried to keep at bay, you found comfort in Luke. He couldn’t blame you for that either, especially when the first time you visited him all he could see was hurt in your eyes, and all he could do was stare back with the same expression.

The first time he noticed the shift was after everything had settled, and the groove of life, for the team at least, was back in motion. You all had decided to go out and grab a drink, and the second you agreed, Spencer was also on board. He would follow you just about anywhere if it meant the smile on your face when he said yes stayed forever.

Luke had whispered something in your ear, the music in the bar too loud for Spencer to catch what it was. It had to be hilarious by the way you threw your head back in laughter, Luke’s eyes immediately dropping to the newly exposed skin, before nudging his shoulder with yours.

Spencer couldn't keep his eyes off the conversation in front of him. He should have when the grip on his glass was so hard it could’ve shattered.

“You know, kid, if you talked to her, she’d know how you feel,” Rossi had told him that night.

“That’s exactly why I can’t,” Spencer thought in his head, but merely gave Rossi a whatever, and walked away to the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror that night, hoping the disgust he felt for how angry he got whenever he saw you with Luke was enough to make it disappear.

It never did.

Like right now, Spencer sat at his desk, a rubber band ball being suffocated in his hand as he watched you perch yourself on top of Luke’s desk. It was an innocent act on you part, but the way Luke leaned back in his chair, opening himself up to you, and allowed his eyes to flicker to your bare legs that were swinging back and forth softly was definitely not innocent... not in Spencer’s book anyway.

It came as no surprise to Spencer that Luke would at the very least find you attractive. You were, in every aspect. Spencer could stare at your for hours, and sometimes, he did.

He would look at the way your skirt hugged your curves in the best possible way, or he would stare at your neck when you leaned back to stretch out. He would watch the way you crossed and uncrossed your legs, a nervous habit you’ve always had. Spencer would think about how soft they probably were, like silk rubbing against each other.

But now Luke was also looking at you like that while you talked about what you were going to do this weekend.

“If you’re not busy, you should totally come,” you told him, obviously excited with the idea of Luke tagging along to wherever you planned on going.

“Yeah, I think I can make that work,” he agreed, and when he did, you jumped up off his desk, enthusiasm practically dripping from you.

“Yes! It’ll be so much fun, I promise!” And then you did the one thing Spencer silently begged you would never. You kissed Luke on the cheek before scurrying back to your desk.

Of course you would kiss him on the cheek. To you, that was a seemingly innocent and friendly action, one that Spencer had been on the receiving end of for the past 10 years.

But now, Luke stole his crown and was flaunting it in front of Spencer’s face like an older brother who just got an XBOX for Christmas. Okay, maybe Spencer was a tad on the dramatic side, but how could he not be when Luke all but physically railed you over his desk when his eyes unashamedly did?

There were many things Spencer could take and get back up like nothing had happened. He’s been shot, punched, kicked, framed for murder and hell, he even stabbed himself, but none of that compared to the deep rooted anger that blossomed in his chest like a flame to gasoline when the thought of Luke touching you swarmed his brain.

Enough was enough.

“Alright, you’ve all worked enough today. Please, go home and get some rest,” Emily’s voice traveled from outside her office door to the agents that still inhabited the bullpen like a second home. Most, including Emily in its rarity, gathered their stuff to finally call it a night.

“So, you’ll text me the information?” Luke asked you as he was putting his jacket on. You had yet to move from your slouched position over whatever paperwork you insisted on finishing before leaving.

“Yeah, definitely!” You beamed up at him before returning back to your case file immediately. Luke walked away with a little more pep in his step than usual per Spencer’s analysis.

“Hey, Spence. Do you think you can hang back a second and look over this for me?” You asked him, catching the attention of the stumbling genius as he tried to get back to his apartment as fast as possible and deal with his... issues with you and SSA Luke Alvez.

He was going to say no, really he tried, but when he looked up to your puppy dog eyes and slight pout, how could he? Spencer knew you were giving him that face on purpose, he had told you in the past that if you were to ever give him your best puppy dog eyes, he could never refuse.

Now it was coming back to bite him in the...

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Spencer made his way over to your desk that was piled high in paperwork more than anyone else’s.

“I took a bunch of work home, and I accidentally dropped all my files and they scattered every where. So now, all the paperwork is mixed up and Emily needs these by tonight. Basically I’m screwed, but I just wanted to make sure the arsonist in Kentu-”

“I’ll help you,” Spencer interrupted your rambling once he got a grip on himself after adjusting to being so close to you. The smell of your perfume wafted into Spencer’s nose and got him drunk faster than any alcohol could ever.

“Oh no, Spence. Don’t worry I can handle this,” you immediately shut him down, but Spencer was not easy to convince, and once his mind is set to something, there’s no changing it.

“I want to, trust me.” Spencer had started to roll his desk chair over to you. You sat there momentarily stunned for two reasons:

1. He had dropped everything to help you.

2. He wasn’t affected by the close proximity of you two the same way you were, or at least knew how to hide it really well.

The buzzing of your phone on your desk pulled you from your trance as Spencer settled next to you and went to pull a new file from your overgrowing pile.

You picked it up to find a text from Luke, opening your phone to a picture of Roxy enjoying the toy you got her last week.

Spencer turned to you to find you smiling and letting out a breathy laugh at your phone.

“What?” He asked, more sarcasm dripping from his tone than expected. If you noticed, you didn’t say anything.

“Just Luke and Roxy. I love that dog so much,” you said while putting your phone on silent and setting it face down. You didn’t look up at Spencer, but if you did you’d find him beet red with anger, and holding the armrests of his chair a little tighter than necessary.

“Hm,” was all he mumbled in response. This, you didn’t ignore.

“Is something wrong? You really don't have to do this with me,” you fumbled over your words, worried that your clumsiness and disorganization was what was annoying Spencer.

“No no, it’s not this. I like paperwork, actually.” You finally looked over at Spencer to find him already staring at you. His gaze bore into you like a blade to the gut, his intensity something you had never been on the receiving end of. It would be a lie if you were to say it wasn’t making you nervous.

“Then what is it.” Your words were not meant to come out as a whisper, but with Spencer’s intimidation and the way it made your stomach flip, you were overwhelmed already.

“Nothing, just, uh,” his confident persona was gone just as quickly as it came. “You and Luke, huh?”

Now it makes sense. You couldn’t help the small smile that etched across your features at his unknowing admission. Spencer Reid was jealous, actually jealous.

“Yeah, he’s a great friend.” Your emphasis on the word friend did not go unnoticed by Spencer, but he couldn’t stop himself from letting the words crawling up his throat out.

“I’m sure he thinks the same about you. The profile in this case fi-”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Two can play at this game, and if it was going to end the way the two of you were unknowingly both hoping, you would have to succumb to the rules.

“Hm? Oh! So you’re oblivious to the way he looks at you?” Spencer spat back, jealous intimidation turning to full anger now.

“Jesus, Spencer. Of course I’m not oblivious, but that doesn’t mean I look at him like that.” At this point, you stood up from your chair, Spencer’s approach throwing you off and getting you more worked up than you cared to admit.

“Besides, I have eyes for someone else,” you mumbled quietly under your breath, but Spencer caught it. “I’m calling the night. I suggest you do the same.”

You picked up as many files you could, not wanting to reach over Spencer before turning around to make you descent home.

Before you could get far, though, Spencer grabbed your elbow and spun you back to crash into his hard chest. You gasped, not making eye contact and instead opting for staring at his lips.

“Who?” Spencer asked, also not looking up from your lips. Both of your minds swarmed with the desperation to feel each other’s against your own.

“You.” And that was all he needed to finally succumb to his mind’s wishes. Your lips moved together like a violin bow to a string, creating a perfectly conducted symphony of files falling from your arms and deep inhales of each other.

Spencer reached out behind you, never taking his lips off yours and pushed anything that was on your desk with a deafening crash. Pens, papers and tape now littered the bullpen floor, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care when all you could feel were Spencer’s hands gripping your waist as he hoisted you up to sit you on your now clear desk.

His lips finally detached from yours, the need for oxygen getting in the way of a kiss you wish could last for eternity. They didn’t go very far, Spencer attacking your neck with little nips, surely to leave incriminating bruises. Your hips started to involuntarily roll forward, searching for friction from his hardening member still constrained by his work slacks.

“Spencer, please,” you begged, needing to feel him, all of him at this moment. His lips abandoned your neck to slowly pull back and scan your body like a predator indulging in his final prey one last time before he answered.

“Please what, Princess,” Spencer whispered, his hands moving down to grip your thighs that were attempting to squeeze together at your new pet name.

“Please, fuck me,” you whimpered back. His deep chuckle resonated through you as he leaned closer until he was directly next to your ear, his hot breath fanning down your neck causing you to arch your back slightly.

“Right here on your desk like a little whore,” he whispered against you, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. Spencer shook his head slightly as he pulled back to grab your chin lightly with two fingers, forcing your head back.

He leaned in as close as possible to whisper against your lips one last time. “Only for you.”

Time stopped as hands sped up in a frenzy to rip each other’s clothes off, lips molding together like a lock and key never wanting to separate, and hips involuntarily grinding against each other in search for some friction in an overwhelming search for release.

Only when Spencer gave up on your shirt buttons and ripped the fabric apart, adding drums in the form of buttons hitting the desk and floor to the song you two collectively decided to dance to tonight, did he allow his lips to leave yours. Slowly, he nipped his way back down your neck, pushing you back softly until your body fully rolled down on the cool wood underneath you.

Spencer’s eyes found yours again as his hands inched behind you, silently asking for permission to break down yet another barrier between your two bodies. After a pleading whimper from you, he unclasped your bra and slowly pulled it down your arms.

Spencer maintained eye contact as he wrapped his mouth around your nipple, swirling his tongue around the peak before sinking his teeth in teasingly. Your back arched into him, a strangled whimper leaving your body as the heat between your thighs increased significantly.

“Spencer please hurry. I need you,” you whimpered softly, pulling his hair back from the top of his head in hopes of getting him in an area far more dire in need of attention.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted this?” Spencer mumbles in between kisses inching back up your body. His hands make their way under your skirt as he continues. “I want to take my time with you, but given our circumstances,” he paused to take a look at the deserted bullpen. “I’ll give you what you want, and fuck you like a whore.”

There was no other way to explain the way Spencer ripped your panties off so hard the lace snapped under his force than animalistic. He wasted no time stuffing them into his back pocket, and fully separating from you to stand straight and unbuckle his belt. Spencer’s eyes stared down at you, taking in every part of your body to file away in his brain in case he ever needs it. His once honey brown orbs were now absorbed with black, his pupils full and his eyes displaying a kind of fire only lust can fuel.

Once his belt was fully off, he smirked and folded it in his hands. Staring at the new object of his desire, he tantalizingly shook it back and forth slowly, watching the way it bounced with his movements.

“Should I gag you with this so you don't alert the whole goddamn building of how desperate you are?” Spencer looked back at you to find your cheeks a deep shade of red, partially at his degrading tone, but mostly at the idea of being gagged.

“No, sir. I wanna feel you.” The title slipped past your lips with no control or hesitation. Your cheeks burned further as Spencer’s movements stopped, his eyes widening slightly.

“Fuck it,” he whispered before throwing the belt on the floor and unzipping his pants with more speed than you've ever seen him move.

Spencer gave you zero time to even register his size before he was stepping in between your legs, lining himself up and slamming into you to the hilt with one hand, the other grabbed a fistful of your hair, pulling back hard, all while never taking his eyes off you.

You couldn’t stop the loud gasp leaving your body as Spencer groaned at the feeling of you around him.

“God, you’re so fucking tight, Princess,” he grounded out, the soft growl in his tone causing you to whimper and clench around him.

When he felt you start to squirm underneath him after adjusting to his size, Spencer started to move, setting a brutal pace immediately. Your entire body felt like it became engulfed in flames, the feeling of Spencer repeatedly hitting the sweetest spot inside you over and over with a force unmatched was too much to handle.

Tears started to well in your eyes as the soft whimpers and pleads left your lips. Spencer pulled himself from his position tucked neatly into your neck to stare down at you, never relenting on his pace.

“What’s wrong, Princess,” he teased, a smirk growing across his features at your tears. “Is it too much for your little cunt? What happened to the girl that begged to be fucked like a whore?”

Spencer let go of his grip on your hair to wipe the tears blackened with mascara that were running down your face.

“So good, sir. Please don’t stop,” you mumbled, only half coherent. The only thing you could focus on was the feeling of Spencer filling you completely. His dark eyes flickered down from your face only for a second, but when he looked back up at you, excitement joined the lust in them, a swirl of emotions destined to destroy you in the end.

Spencer grabbed one of your hands that was gripping his shoulder, nails digging into the skin and leaving marks he wished would last forever. He placed in on your stomach, and confusion filled your mind for a moment until you felt the tip of his cock hit your hand.

“You feel that, Princess? You feel how deep I am? I’m gonna fill you up.” Your back arched, and you finally released a loud, wanton moan at his words. Spencer didn’t miss the way you clenched around him tighter at the thought. “God, I’m gonna fill you up with my cum, make you - fuck- carry my child. Make sure everyone knows who you belong to.”

You felt the knot in your stomach growing tighter with each word, and when Spencer lifted one of your legs into the crook of his elbow, hitting you impossibly deeper, you knew you weren't going to last much longer.

“Oh G-god, Spence. I- I’m gonna....”

“It’s okay, Princess. I’ve got you,” he groaned back, lifting two fingers to your lips before forcing them into your mouth. Instinctively, you hollowed out your cheeks and sucked on his digits. “Let go, Princess.”

All you needed was his permission before letting your orgasm rock through you, the muscles in your body seemingly losing and gaining all the tension in the world at once, your vision going white, and your mind blank except for one thought; Spencer.

Your loud moans were blocked by his fingers pushing deeper down your throat, catching them before any unwanted guests could hear.

Your moans started to turn to whimpers around his fingers as the overstimulation kicked in. Spencer could sense it by the way you still clung to him as tightly as possible.

“Fuck that’s it. You’re doing so well, Princess, taking all of me,” he growled out, his hips losing their rhythm, signaling his own impending orgasm. Spencer leaned down further, pushing your leg farther up in the process, and again, hitting you deeper than imaginable.

Two more sloppy thrusts in that position, and Spencer was coming deep in you with your name and different praises being groaned in your ear. He bottomed out once more, coming to a stop buried deep, both of you trying your hardest to catch your breath.

When he started to pull out, you whimpered immediately at the feeling.

“I know, sweetheart. I’m almost done,” Spencer whispered, caressing your cheek as he fully unsheathed himself. The abandoned weight of him on top of you, and the loss of his cock filling you up left you cold as he went to rummage through your drawers for tissues, but all you could do was stare up at the lights hanging from the ceiling, your body still slightly twitching.

When Spencer returned to you, he sat you up and kissed your forehead before reaching in between your legs to clean you up. The second the tissue hit your sensitive cunt, you winced.

Spencer looked back up at you but before he could say anything, you cut him off.

“It’s okay. I’m okay,” you reassured him, smiling softly as you reached up to caress his cheek. Upon your approval, he went back to cleaning you up. “Actually, I’m more than okay. That was.. That was-”

“Yeah,” he said, chuckling slightly and shaking his head. “I know, right?”

“Maybe we should thank Luke,” you teased him. Immediately, his smile faded and he looked up at you with an expression that can only read “Seriously?”

You let out a full laugh now, obviously still entertained with the idea that the Dr. Spencer Reid was jealous of Luke Alvez.

“I’m joking,” you said, your smile turning from one of hilarity to adoration as Spencer straightened back up to stand between your legs and wrap his arms around your waist. “And Spence, it’s always been you. Not Luke, not anyone else. You.” You emphasized your point by jabbing a finger into his chest.

“Good, because that would make this really awkward,” he said back. You tilted your head in confusion to which he laughed at before continuing. “Do you want to go grab dinner?”

Your cheeks blushed profusely as he asked you out as if you didn’t just let him take you over your own desk at work.

“I would love to say yes, but I still have to finis-” When you turned around to look at the pile of paperwork you had yet to complete, it was no longer on your desk, but scattered around it. During the rush of trying to feel each other completely, the two of you failed to notice the stack of files that started this whole thing had fallen all over the bullpen floor.

“Emily is going to kill me,” you said, turning back to Spencer who was still staring at the now empty spot on your desk.

“Actually, she has two reasons to kill us now.” You threw you head back in laughter, Spencer joining you at the thought of Emily finding out about the last 30 minutes. “But seriously, you go deal with the security footage, and I’ll deal with the paperwork.”

“Hmmmm...” You pretended to ponder the thought of not having to do all of that paperwork by yourself anymore. “Deal.”

“Deal,” Spencer repeated back, smiling softly before kissing you one more time.

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stackthedeck · 2 years ago

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Do you have recs for other comictok accounts to follow? I'm not brave enough to go in the tags

hell yeah a chance to shout out my beloved mutuals of tiktok

theactorbat— a lot of skit videos but like they're good, not just fanon bastardization, but mostly does DC stuff, but like just some absolutely correct opinions about Batman and Jason Todd

councilofsue—for all my fantastic four stans, her no nuance November videos have really proven that she's the only person with correct opinions about the fantastic four it is a miracle that she follows me

notfranklinsherald (not one of my mutuals fyi)—they've recently had to start a new account, they used to be northstar's left ski or something like that, but antisemitic harassment led to their main account getting banned. Another fantastic four enthusiast but like very vocal about Jewish representation in comics and like they're always right. Honestly, Jewish comic book fans and ff fans are usually a safe bet for good content

madsnotmikkelsen—for the daredevil fans, objectively correct takes. Also her Elektra and Cindy Moon cosplays give me life. her adorable cat really adds to the vibes

comicyehu—another fantastic four fan, but he does other stuff too. like for a man he really does have good character analysis, diving into the emotional drive of characters not just power scaling.

amandajustvibin (also not a mutual)—you are doubtless already following her, not strictly a marvel account, but has some great takes

buellersthought—my brother in arms in spreading the gwenpool gospel, but also he just has a very wholesome and hopeful approach to comics and there is just such a genuine love for the characters and stories. His squirrel girl videos have moved me to tears

dadbadyyy—the only person on that god forsaken app that has a nuanced approach to fanfic I would die for them. Mostly takes about the mcu version of the characters but at least they actually have a complex understanding of the characters

greyleft_ (not a mutual)—kinda inconsistent posting but god I'm obsessed with his Miles videos. I see a into the spiderverse fan and I smash the follow button

nicolemarisela (also not a mutual)—their moon knight cosplays send me into a state good lord have mercy

daystarter— they're mostly focused on the iron mans and captain americas but we are joined in an unending hatred for mcu tony stark

wannabeyourendgame—I'm floored that she follows me tbh, but she always has the latest daredevil news and the most random comic facts at the ready, absolutely obsessed

emptyjunior (not a mutual but it is my one goal on that app to get them to follow me)— THEY ARE THE FUNNIEST PERSON ON THAT HELLISH APP

cholemilla—you're already following her, but we followed each other after I made a video about legally blonde and daredevil so that tells you all you need to know

ahh geez this list has gotten way too long. My following list should be public on tiktok, but I didn't even get into my wonderful editing and art friends so yeah basically follow everyone I follow

#asks #i'm sorry for talking about tiktok on main

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luckywolfsbane · 8 months ago

Text

OMG

okay. (This is me taking a big breath bc I wasn't expecting this. Last time I hijacked a post that came up on my dash from a tag, the op wasn't happy with me. Sooooo)

A bit of background for context:

This comes from years of over analyzing botw(and LoZ in general). LoZ is one of my special interests, and now that I'm all grown up, I get to be the proper sort of nerdy again, and no one can successfully shame me out of it. I am also the youngest son of a nurse(mom) & a disabled farmer/teacher(dad), and I had a major surgery at a young age and didn't get proper physical therapy. I ended up getting a ton of physical therapy as an adult and learning so much along the way, so I have a lot of weird information now. To top it all off, my Sister-in-law is currently about to enter her second year of university and is studying nutrition. It just so happens that I help her study, and she also gets to do research studies on me because I've got so much bs going on and am recovering from an eating disorder. Following? Okay. So now that you have some idea as to WHY I know what I do, let's get into this.

The actual analysis:

We don’t have a metric for Link's body composition, and his game model doesn't change throughout the game to show any progress, so we'll have to work with real world knowledge and context clues for these headcanons.

When he wakes up, it's unclear exactly why he wakes up. It could be that Zelda called for him because she knew his time in the shrine was ending. It could also be that he woke up because she called out to him, forcing the shrine of resurrection to cease its work early. I prefer the latter since it explains his memory loss: i.e., it just hadn't gotten to that yet. Now, we also don't know if the shrine was working at optimum capability. Given the general state and lack of a chance to really refurbish it, we can safely assume that it wasn't properly functioning. We're already off to a great start, right?

Moreover, the shrine of resurrection likely wasn't intended as a cure-all. Thinking medically, it would likely have been used in a similar manner to a surgical procedure in its prime. Once the shrine released a patient, they would likely be met with a full care team who would then walk them through the following months/years needed for proper recovery. This is when you'd see all that physical therapy he didn’t get. This is when rest is most vital. They would have had a schedule for proper recovery, complete with allowances for rest and mapped out meal-times.

Instead of a care team, Link staggers out of the cave and clumsily takes a baked apple from a ghost, who then leads him around the plateau--a highly uncontrolled environment--and not only barely rests but has to compete with said ghost for the only bed in the area. All of this while (re)learning how to fight and hunt. Not to mention the shrines. And all the climbing. And that frozen mountain top is so close by. You know that plateau can't be a very warm place to be running around in threadbare clothes, which isn't something I'd recommend for someone in physical recovery.

Let's circle back. Link gets up and starts moving with considerable ease right away. This alone is a little unbelievable since his muscles are more than likely severely atrophied given the 100 years he spent in stasis. Even if the shrine preserved a certain % of muscle mass, Link still would have lost most of his overall coordination and strength.

Even after one week of laying still, he'd have to work his way up to walking--specifically after a cataclysmic injury like what he suffered. Now, this could take a day or week or more, depending on the injury and person. For ME, it took a couple of days. In fairness, I only had my back opened up and spine moved and secured, which is nowhere near as severe. That's after just one week. After years, it would be insane how much that would normally take. That's not talking about walking long distances, just WALKING at all.

It helps that Link had something to chase. When it's just you and your pain fighting back and forth, it's easy to give in when there's nothing to fight for outside yourself. Even when there is, sometimes it wins out. It comes down to him being a hero of courage with that unbreakable spirit. I truly believe that's why he was able to walk out of the shrine. Because he had to have been stiff and weak, and he still managed it. Which is absolutely insane. This guy is fucking crazy.

Anyway, he'd look thinner from his atrophy alone. We'll assume the shrine kept a good portion of his muscle with magic tech, but it likely kept very little of his fat. Like minimal. Which leads to him looking a bit more defined than soft. The in-game model doesn't show much, if any, muscle. What is there, however, is clearly defined, especially in his legs(and somewhat in his chest).

Tech keeping his muscle but not preventing dehydration is actually the best conclusion here. This would explain why he wakes up with muscle definition at all. He's malnourished and dehydrated, so his skin has essentially shrink-wrapped around his muscles.

This is why eating disorders are so rampant in bodybuilding circles. The less fat you have, the more muscle definition. The muscles can only do the shit you train them for, and they're going to have shit endurance with no actual strength outside a controlled setting like a gym.

You'll find, a lot of strong people(look at the strong men contests for examples) who are just like that because they have to be--for work or just the way they live--and who frequently have fast twitch muscle fiber out the ass (usually being born with an affinity toward it) are often earmarked as overweight or obese by BMI standards. They don't look lean usually, either. Often, they just look like some guy. People may call them bulky or say they have a "sleeperbuild." In reality, they have a good muscle to fat ratio and are incredibly healthy despite appearances. They have a gut over what would otherwise be called washboard abs. They have flab and a round face, but they can pull a truck with flat tires out of the mud with nothing but a chain and willpower. (That did happen. It's not an exaggeration. My brother did it. The video was on my dad's old phone, so I'm not sure it's around anymore.)

Okay. So Link is partially atrophied(thanks shrine for keeping it from being worse) and dehydrated/malnourished, which lends itself to his muscles showing to the degree they do.

What else? Why does it make sense for this to not really improve?

Well, he doesn't eat enough.

I know. I fuckin--I know, I see how the boy eats, too, but it's not ENOUGH. He would need an absolutely ballistic caloric intake every day in order to gain weight based on his physical activity alone. Add that to the fact that he's definitely underweight post shrine of resurrection. He's got a lot of ground to cover to get to a healthy point.

For a backpacker going cross-county, around roughly 4,600 to over 6,300 calories is recommended to MAINTAIN a healthy weight. Read that again. Link isn't simply backpacking cross-country. He's fighting monsters. He's climbing mountains. He's swimming through rivers. He's chasing down horses. He's hang-gliding across miles of terrain.

And he also barely sleeps. Look at how most people play the game. He doesn't stop at night. He doesn't rest unless he's nearly dying or needs to wait something out.

Even worse, as much as he cooks and likes to eat, how much does he really eat in practice? Like, I know I'm not stopping Link every few in-game hours so he can eat something. He eats when he absolutely has to or needs a status effect.

Add that to 90% of his food being foraged and/or hunted game, he's not going to have access to nearly as many calories as someone on a farm would. Since the guy never stops moving, he needs far more than what a skewer of mushrooms and an apple would offer, but there are times in the game where that's all that's available.

So Link looks malnourished because he is malnourished. Like chronically, he's malnourished. It would take years for him to recover in a safe way.

Sooooooo yeah. Tweeked the rant a bit because I didn't save it, but that's it. Thank you for coming to my TED talk

You know, for someone who supposedly eats a bunch of food and loves to cook quite a bunch, Link sure does look quite malnourished.

#breath of the wild #loz botw #link botw #legend of zelda breath of the wild #tw eating disorder #tw disordered eating #tw body composition #tw muscle to fat ratio #tw bodybuilding mention #tw calories #tw nutrition #good lord there are so many potential tw here #i think those are the big ones

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