#thinking they were being the GOOD guys... which technically they still are... but mistakes were MADE

[chloecorvid]

So this is actually a MAJOR spoiler for my comic, but it's fairly end game AND has like... zero context. So why not share a bit of my comic's darker side? (as if I ever share the cute concept art amirite lmao)

Anyhow... This mystery dude uh... well quite frankly he's going through it. But not nearly as much as the people below him...

[nipuni]

Hello time to yap about life and media again! 🥰

It's been a month and a half since we fully moved into this new old house and it's been a steep learning curve!! so far we had to learn how to care for a garden and grow fruit, how to deal with extremely humid weather, the mold!! also learning about various repairs, electricity and plumbing, we had a leak that turned one lamp into a waterfall, the rcd keeps tripping every time it rains, had to fix a door in the dark after Nicolas got himself trapped in a room when the handle broke during a power outage, the heating system is an air to water heat pump and it took us ages to figure out how to set it up correctly so we spent weeks wearing 3 layers inside the house, I even fell down the stairs!! I'm not used to having stairs inside the house lmao It's a big adjustment when you've always lived in small apartments in big cities all your adult life, but to be honest we love it!! everything feels like a new quest for us to tackle and it is so much fun figuring it all out as we go, reading technical manuals by candle light, the teamwork of installing and assembling furniture and networks, pruning the trees, celebrating every small mundane accomplishment and new skill learned every night over dinner, I may be corny as hell but it all feels like a privilege and an adventure 😭

Media wise we watched the second season of Arcane! This series never fails to make me fall in love with art again, not that I've ever fallen out but I can't say that the whole AI debacle hasn't been ass for the morale. Aesthetically it is a masterpiece. The character design, the cinematography, the mixed media montages aaaa Seeing the work, the skill and care that was put into every frame reminded me of how important and human the storytelling aspect of art really is. I wonder if we will see a shift to the more story driven or conceptual arts when we look back on this period, but I ramble, back to Arcane. I have mostly praise for it, wonderful characters and very touching relationships. I think our only issues were with the pacing being too slow at the start, every character climbing out of a very low point, and then too fast which made the second half feel a bit rushed. This season also felt a bit more tropey than the first one but still really solid. It remains one of the best animated series ever made and I am so happy to see it succeed in this current environment 😭 It feels like teenagehood condensed into a show, we really enjoyed it. I hope we get a season 3!!

Also there was an update in our David Tennant filmography quest! we watched The Politician's Husband and unsurprisingly we loved it!! It was gripping and the acting was brilliant. It is actually what I was expecting Rivals to be like, I realize 🤔 I think it could have used a 4th episode, felt like it ended too quickly and there was room for more, as if they ran out of time to tie things up so they picked the quickest route. But it was really good!! These miniseries are always so engaging and so short, I need mooreee.

We missed our DT nights!! Nicolas spent the last week hunting for more of David's work for us to watch. We've been hosting family for a few days again last week and on top of work and everything else we had to pause them for a bit. But now we are back to our nightly routine and he's over the moon!! Instant mood boost it's embarrassing lmao both of us falling this hard for this guy is too enabling, he even made his name our guest wifi password, we are besotted 😂

Oh! I also I saw a Veilguard Q&A was happening and read a few replies I saw posted here, and it proved to be a huge mistake! It was a disappointing and truly infuriating read. What even happened during the production of this game lmao How come the average fan seems to have a much better grasp on the lore, characters and plot than the people who made it 😭 There is this gaping disconnect between intent and execution. The way that fans are trying to make sense and give meaning to the complete mess that is the writing in an attempt to salvage and preserve the aspects they loved about it is saddening. I am mentally throwing tomatoes at John Epler as we speak. His answers felt so unserious and baffling at best and offensive and petty at worst. It's been eye opening, I could go on a two hour rant but the more I learn and dwell on it the more bitter I become about it all and I'm already seeing ten year old discourse resurface and people getting weird about it so I'll just ..🚶‍♀️ In my eyes this world and it's characters now belong only to those who love it and lives in my memory 🫡

Anyway, this ended up being at least twice as long as I was planning to make it again 😭 and I still have to catch up with asks aaaa it's been a busy month sorry I'll get to them soon!! Thank you for reading and for the support and for just being here!! I hope you all have a great week 🥺❤️

[robinofgothamcity]

“I can show you that not all men are like that.”

Character: Damian Wayne/Robin

Authors note: most likely not reviewed for spelling errors or mistakes lmfao, this is more of a blurb tbh. In the middle of writing this, I caused a gigantic spill all over my side table and onto my carpet so I was over it lmfao. I’m sorry that it isn’t longer :( I hope all of you have a safe and exciting new years! Let’s hope 2025 treats everyone with happiness and respect <3

Being Jon’s best friend and longtime partner, it was easy to tell when Jon was distracted and other times, it was very easy to get distracted with him. Today was one of those days where you and Jon were just being menaces to everyone that was around the two of you. You had known Jon since you entered the league under Dinah’s wing. From that point, you and him stuck to each other which made it seem like the two of you were more of siblings than friends and when Damian walked into the picture, you knew that you hit a certain nerve every time you were being particularly loud and obnoxious.

You walked into the lair hoping that Jon would be there, under the guise of seeing if he had down some of the work done that the two of you shared for a college class. The two of you went to a local college in Smallville and even though you were both getting different degrees, required classes had the two of you stuck in general English class together.

“Damian!” You said as you noticed his boots at the door, “my lovely friend who admits to hating me but secretly doesn’t!” You sang as you walked into the common area. You saw that him looking through his computer, half annoyed and angry.

“Where’s Jon, I need him,” you finally said. Damian pointed at the computer that showed that Jon was out on a mission to which he didn’t tell either of you, “that little fucking rat, are you kidding me?” You said rhetorically, “he didn’t tell he was out on a mission for an entire week! We were assigned as partners this week,” you added on.

Damian scoffed, “who do you think got assigned to Gotham until he returns?” You pushed him out of the way as you read that you were assigned to do patrols with Damian until Jon came back to help you patrol Smallville. You stomped on the ground like an angry toddler realizing you’d be out of your house all week, “I could cry, who assigned me here and why didn’t they think to tell me?” You asked. Damian giggled as you realized that Jon must’ve put you in his place until he came back.

“Well, I guess I have to hang around here all week,” you said in a huff, “gut I guess there’s one good thing about this, you’ll be stuck with me!” You added as you turned around to Damian and started giggling.

By that point, Bart and Cassie walked in as she ran over to you, “did you go on the date with that guy from your accounting class?” She asked as she practically dragged you to the couch, “yeah but it was a blow. The typical college guy as you can expect except this time, the moron decided it’d be a good idea to leave me the bill from dinner and not come back.”

Damian, Bart, and Jaime who had walked down the stairs a few moments before stared at you in shock.

“What? I never said that my love life was skyrocketing in success,” you said in annoyance. Damian put his hand up to pause you, “you’re meaning to tell me the guy left you with the bill and left without a goodbye?” You nodded in agreement, still confused as to what he was trying to insinuate, “and this normal?”

You thought for a moment, “well, the last two guys, one stood me up before I could go on the date and the other guy ghosted me at the restaurant so technically this is a first for me,” you recalled. The boys, who were now hanging their heads in disappointment couldn’t help but sigh, “listen, this conversation was between Cas and I. Why are all of you so interested now?” You asked, popping in a piece of candy Bart had left on the table.

Cassie rolled her eyes as she looked back at you, “Well, what about Jon’s friend? Weren’t the two of you just texting?” You rolled your eyes, “he’s a nice guy but definitely just a friend. I think I’m doomed and there’s no love in my future.”

Before anyone else could say anything, your communicators had went off indicating that you and Damian were now scheduled to patrol. You went over to Damian and jumped on his back, instantly getting a shout from the boy, “do you ever think she’ll realize that Damian likes her?” Bart asked Cassie. Cassie laughed dramatically, “not in a million years unless something or someone makes it click in her head.”

-

It wasn’t often that you and Damian patrolled together and the times that you did, Jon was usually came along. You didn’t hate Damian but you could tell that he wasn’t exactly your biggest fan. You wondered if this was because of your relationship with Jon or if you were just too loud and obnoxious for his liking. You knew Damian barely tolerated Jon at first but the two of you had known each other for years now and it definitely seemed like there was a dislike from Damian to you.

“So, you go any other unfortunate dates to share to the class?” Damian mocked. You rolled your eyes, not in the mood to deal with his obnoxious attitude, “well, not that I’d ever share that with you but yes I do. I have a case of bad luck in the romance department,” you admitted hoping that he’d get off your case.

Damian didn’t say a thing for a moment.

“Well, what’s the worse?” He asked. You thought a few minutes until you started laughing in embarrassment and slight annoyance, “well, I can see why you’d make fun of me for this but I think the worst date I ever went on was last year. I matched with a guy on this app and we went out to dinner only for the idiot to not realize that his girlfriend’s best friend worked at the restaurant. In my defense, I clearly didn’t realize that he was cheating on her with me so you can imagine the look I had on my face when the girl smacked him and proceeded to berate him in front of the entire restaurant.”

Damian stared at you in shock, not really knowing what to say.

“I thankfully got off lucky when I told her that I didn’t know he was cheating but it was still embarrassing nonetheless,” you continued. Damian looked into the alley, hoping that no one heard what he was about to say. Damian sighed knowing what he was about to say was coming out like word vomit, “well, I can show you that not all men are like that.”

You gave him a look of confusion.

“Listen, I know I haven’t been the nicest to you and you’re not that stupid to not realize it,” you flicked him in the forehead as he continued, “but I figured I’d rather be the one to show you that some men are actually good out there.”

“Wait, this isn’t you pitying me, is it? Because if it is, I’m going to kick you ass,” you said taking out your baton and swinging it in the air. Damian lowered the baton and gave you a sincere look, “I’m not kidding. Tomorrow after patrol, we can switch shift with Tim and Steph and I’ll take you out.”

You couldn’t help but laugh in disbelief.

“If you end up backing out last minute, Batman is going to be down a son.”

Damian flicked you on the forehead as he assured you that this time, maybe you weren’t going to be so unlucky.

[izumiphoenix]

The Truth Behind the Mask

(1/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])

Even before I played, I kept stumbling upon Astarion fanart and memes that made me assume he was just some overrated character who was only popular because of his flirty, sassy attitude (I’m so sorry Q^Q). That’s why I didn’t have the best first impression even before I started.

And even in-game, when you first meet him, Astarion seems like a shallow, selfish and flirty guy - someone who doesn’t really care what others think and just follows his whims.

Couldn’t be further from the truth!

From what I’ve seen in some discussions on social media, though, a lot of players still hold that first impression - even after completing his route. I’ve even seen people call him a red flag, label him evil or say they were disappointed in general.

Also, I feel like most guides (at least the ones I’ve come across) simplify his character too much - mainly focusing on which choices will gain his approval or disapproval. Maybe that’s to avoid spoilers, but still. There are definitely other players who see the deeper layers too - so this is just my way of sharing my personal journey of discovering the real Astarion.

So, how did that first impression start to unravel? When checking with the guide and watching his reactions and body language, I started thinking about why the approval/disapproval tips work.

How Approval Looks on the Surface

Let’s look at some general tips for gaining Astarion’s approval points: 

choosing evil replies/actions 

seeking power 

siding with evil characters 

deceiving your opponents  

supporting his desires  

being understanding and accepting towards him 

(bonus one, haven’t seen guides mention this) sarcastic replies  

And disapproval points: 

making pompous heroic statements (like “Worry not! I shall save everyone!”) 

helping the weak 

being open about your party's situation (tadpoles)

being judgmental or unsupportive towards him  

naive/goodie-two-shoes responses  

In most cases, it is explained by his natural inclination towards evil forces and power, making Astarion seem like a self-centred and power-hungry vampire who might, with Tav’s influence, turn to become a bit of a better person. Or not. 

But while it’s technically true that those actions affect his approval, there’s much more nuance to why Astarion reacts the way he does - especially in the early stages.

So what's really going on?

The first contradiction that made me feel confused about the reasons for Astarion’s reactions was how nice Tav is being to him (of course, if you chose good replies during their interactions) – a person who is mean to everyone else would be just as mean to Astarion. It didn’t make sense to me; a kind and understanding Tav would fit much better in the story.  

So what is going on there? Why does Astarion need a kind and gentle Tav who is cold and dismissive to the rest of the world?

Because he is terrified.  

When we first meet our pale elf, he has just escaped (as in been kidnapped) from 200 years of slavery, humiliation and torture where his wellbeing completely depended on Cazador’s whims and every mistake meant punishment. Of course he’s paranoid. Of course he’s always calculating risk. 

It’s not about Tav’s choices being good or evil, it’s about their possible consequences for Astarion. He doesn’t want Tav to be evil, he just wants to feel safe. That’s all.  

Let’s Look at That List Again

So let’s look at his approval/disapproval list again: 

refusing to help someone - approve! we don’t want to risk 

seeking power - yes, please! power means safety!

siding up with evil characters - they are strong, so why not use this to our benefit? 

deceiving your opponents - we didn’t even have to fight and got want we wanted? don’t see a problem  

supporting his desires - maybe this time, I won’t have to fight for what I want

being understanding and accepting towards him - finally someone doesn't treat me as a monster

sarcasm - humor is our everything, especially when there’s nothing else left 

On the other hand:

making pompous heroic statements - you are saying these cringe things with a straight face AND putting us in danger? hard nope! 

helping the weak - no one helped me, why should we bother 

disclosing truth about their situation - have you heard about caution?!  

being judgmental or unsupportive towards him - no thanks, had enough of that

naive/goodie-two-shoes responses - are we going to be fine with a leader like that?..  

What Kind of Tav Does He Need?

Astarion isn’t looking for an "evil" Tav - he’s looking for safety. Well, technically, he isn’t looking for anyone at all. But the kind of Tav he opens up to tends to be:

pragmatic, cautious and clever

emotionally intelligent

non-judgmental

strong enough to lead and survive

That’s why he feels comfortable with a Tav who might choose to be distant toward strangers but treats him with consistent care. In this context it’s not suspicious, it’s sensible. He doesn’t expect help from the world, and he respects those who understand that reality. In a hostile world, survival is more likely in a group, so he clings to the party and tries to secure his place using the only tools he knows: charm, wit and usefulness. And a part of that strategy, making sure the leader favors him and he won’t be cast aside, leads to his initial approaches for Tav. But we’ll get into that more in another post.

So if Tav shows kindness to him? That’s exactly what he’s aiming for. And it doesn’t even matter that much if they still go out of their way to help others - because if the care they show him feels real, that already shifts something deep inside. That already gives him a reason to start hoping that this might be real.

The Mask

So there’s the charm, the flirtation, the flair for drama. Some players may read that as shallow or even foolish. But it’s not. It’s a mask - one he’s worn so well and for so long that it feels real. It’s what kept him alive under Cazador for the last 200 years.

But if you keep going, if you give him time and space to feel safe, you start to see it slip. The closer Tav gets to him, the more glimpses we get of his real self - thoughtful and warm, wary and sharp, sometimes silly and awkward, and, beneath it all, deeply hurt. And if you stay with him through to the end, when he finally feels safe enough to stop performing, his whole demeanor changes. He’s calmer. More grounded. Still witty - but in a different way.

Still Astarion. Just more himself.

<next part>

<back to masterpost>

[pastrydragon]

The BG3 Beef I wanna see shitpost

While I do love the idea of Tav/Astarion/Karlach/whoever getting more unique mean dialogue with Ulder Ravengard, especially when he has the audacity to take up space in your camp like that instead of someone cooler like Barcus or that one bullied hyena, I want very specific flavor text that you'd only get in the epilogue party if you pick a specific ending even more.

I think if you romance Wyll as Gale or Gale as Wyll and then you don't go to Avernus, I think it would be totally galaxy brain to have dialogue in the epilogue that reveals Ulder Ravengard and Morena Dekarios fucking DESPISE one another. Because they absolutely would.

We never get to meet Morena in game but you can tell from what Gale and Tara say about her and Gale's... Galeness that she is at least a part time passenger on the "Fuck you my child is fine" train. Her sweet little boy? Commit evil deeds? Never! There has obviously been a mistake. I mean she indulged that "Gale Of Waterdeep" nonsense and when Gale summoned a full on Tressym after being explicitly denied a kitten as a child, she just let him keep her. No repercussions.

And then her sweet boy brings home another sweet boy who is probably EXACTLY what she pictured Gale's partner should be like.(Because Wyll is the damn blueprint for "Guy you could bring home to mom") Wyll is ridiculously sweet to Gale, he's the perfect gentleman, he's very open to the idea of giving Morena the grandchildren she's been nagging Gale about in the very near future. Pinch her, she must be dreaming!

I cannot imagine her reacting to Wyll's backstory with any amount of empathy towards Ulder, obviously that man is a cruel psychopath to throw poor Wyll out like that after "a tiny misunderstanding" and Wyll is just too good of a son not to see it. Which is partially true, Wyll is definitely still in some kind of denial stage over what his father did but that's not the point of the post.

Then there's Ulder who probably thinks Gale is... Fine. He's not someone he ever would have pictured for Wyll. Gale is a babbling oddball, he has chronic foot-in-mouth disease and has only ever met the pointy end of a sword. But he can't say anything because Gale saved him, his son, and Bulder's gate, and a small army of tieflings, and apparently a bunch of mushroom people and blah blah more reasons he can never have the moral high ground blah. He's undeniably stuck with this fucking wizard, and his nightmare of a mother.

Morena firmly believes that since the Ravengard manor is technically Wyll's now, then it's also Gale's and thus is now hers as well. When I say she would walk through the doors like she owned the place I mean it very literally. Where did Ulder's old helmet display go? "They were rusty and it was ruining the wooden shelves, besides these enchanted swords go better with the new drapes we had to get, I don't know how you didn't notice how moth eaten they were getting." Everyday he wakes up and something about his own damn home has been changed to make it look more like a wizard tower. She doesn't even live here most of the time!

And it doesn't stop there, not at all. No this women has to make sure his son doesn't live there full time either. Every holiday and birthday she has to send Gale a letter about how much she misses him and you should visit so you can take a break from all that(Very important!) work and how she already has the venison just for Wyll.

And every time he's forced to interact with this harpy she looks at him with a sweet smile on her face, honey in her voice and the burning hatred of a thousand suns in her eyes then somehow managed to insult him five times in one sentence without ever explicitly insulting him. This women is a devil from Avernus sent to punish him for his sins and she's even won over the grandkids. Obviously that women is a manipulative psychopath for using her control over Gale to manipulate his son. Which, yeah Gale not being able to say no to his mom has contributed greatly to this and if Wyll knew what healthy boundaries looked like he probably wouldn't have put up with it but he doesn't so here we are.

Let these two be the Tom and Jerry style B plot to BG4 is what I'm saying.

[acupofinkedblood]

Subspace x savior complex reader

TW: Toxic relationship, unhealthy behavior, Subspace

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

• Subspace is definitely a difficult guy, that’s no surprise for everyone to acknowledge, especially with you as his lover. Though there are definitely some up and down in your relationship with this bastard — in which I can confidently assure you, it happens more than just a lots due to how eccentric this guy is — you still stay by his side no matter what. You’re technically his right hand person, always ready to hear him out if needed. One definitely has to give you the respect for putting up with him that long. Though something isn’t right just yet. Even when you’re contented in this relationship, why is it that you feel like missing out a part of your wish? Then again, you might have found the answer in that day when Medkit snapped at Subspace

• Having a bottle of toxic chemicals slammed right into Sunspace was the least thing you’d expect Medkit to ever do. But with how the tension had been bottled up between the two of them to the point of instability recently, why weren’t you surprised at this point. It’s just the matter of time before Medkit snapped like this. You pitied Subspace, for the worse or the better. That and combined your love for him. Ever since the day Medkit disappeared, you finally came into the picture alongside with Subspace as his new assistant. Everything was supposed to be fine. But with how that destined incident happened, you have became a restless wreck, constantly worrying about your dearest while he is getting the treatment he needed. Yet beneath that worries that you showed to the poor scientists, mind explaining that odd sense of twisted satisfaction when you realize that you have became his sole support, his beloved hero to the rescue after Medkit ran away?

• The moment Subspace wakes up from his coma after the medical staff has somehow brought him back to life again, you are already there since who knows since when. The first instinct taken over you is to rush over and check his pulse, trying to remember as much as you can while you were watching the nurses earlier to see how is he doing now. It’s not a surprise to acknowledge that Subspace is still rather fatigued due to being unconscious for such a long time. Not to mention the brief horror which flashes through his eyes when he sits up, thinking that he’s still there when the incident happened. It takes you a good while to calm him down without the need to call for the medical staff. Only you are enough now, and you will do everything you can to keep him safe from now on. Subspace has failed to notice how your expression shifted from calm to annoyance when the other staffs start to come to his aid, and that’s one of the biggest mistakes he has ever made

• At first, it starts as a few simple doting. Looking out for his general health, tending to whatever he needs in the moment and helping him to deal with the rot that has started to spread more than he’d like to see. Who could have ever doubted such sweet actions from you? After all, you’re Subspace’s partner — both romantically and at work — the way you’re caring for him is just a natural reaction, he’s your lover after all. Another reason is that no one has enough sanity to deal with Subspace for that long rather than you, so in other words, you have done everyone quite the favor when being in charge of him. That definitely feeds your ego, no? To think that your aid has provided so much to others even when your main priority is still Subspace, it paints the illusion of you being a saint reaching out and carrying the burden of those in need without any reward. And of course, that thought only pushes you even more in this journey of assisting your dearest lover further

• It doesn’t take that long before those caring gestures of yours started to turn into something out of how the original intention should have been. The more you carve this sense of purpose comes from ‘assisting’ Subspace, the more extreme your behavior develops into. From just a brief advice of him taking his medications, you start to feel the need to do that for him instead through force when he’s acting up again. You keep saying that it’s for his own good, but then again, we both know that it’s just you wanting to believe so. Stubbornness is a natural part of Subspace, and when that stubbornness is testing the twisted sense of saving him of yours, then that’s just how the flame has ignited. You try so hard to help him fixing this mess that he has gotten himself in, and you will keep your words even when he is resisting it. So much times, money and efforts you have spent for him, can’t he see that you’re the only one that can help him? Someone out there is capable of single-handedly making everything better, and that person happens to be you. It has to be you. If he can’t, then you will make him see it

• With how unstable Subspace has become both mentally and emotionally, you’ll be quite the idiot to even assume the fact that he will just sit there and let you treat him like some sort of broken damsel in distress. The way you’re trying to control his life’s decisions is beyond comprehension. He knows just how much you enjoy being a helper, but he has no idea it will be something as intense as this. He does appreciate your help somewhat before, as long as it simply stays as how things used to be. And now you have become this ‘controlling freak’ — his words, not mine — that trying to get a hold of his life. He won’t make it easy to happen anytime soon. Who do you think you’re talking with? The great Subspace will never let you force him down into a wheelchair even when the poison is eating him alive! The more you try, the more he will resist before some other factors come into the room to break it out. Usually it’s because of how aching the rotting process is, which makes Subspace begrudgingly take a step back to that damned satisfied smile of yours

• The more you started to meddle in his business, the more easily irritated Subspace became day by day. You follow him like a shadow. He doesn’t even have a moment of peace in his mind, let alone some quiet space where he can relax. With you in the laboratory, he has lost count just how many times you insist that this experiment is too dangerous for him to carry on like usual. Even the superior simply turn a blind eye on his complaint because of how well you have been keeping Subspace alive. Your overprotective tendencies definitely get on his nerves. He can’t even do anything by himself anymore, for science’s sake!

• To say it’s suffocating is an understatement. He always has to walk on thin ice around you, knowing just a little step wrong that makes him trip will easily provoke that savior complex of yours to come and pick him up. Every single time, you just have to be there and do everything without him asking. It’s safe to assume that none of you are having any good days so far with how frequent these fights broke out between you and him, though it usually just stops at verbal abuse since Subspace can’t just poison you to force you out of his life. Not that he hasn’t tried, but he realized that you might have an underlying plan ahead if he dares to do that. With how unhinged you are spiraling into, Subspace prefers to keep breathing normally rather than from an oxygen mask

• How many times have he lashed out at you for being too insufferable? Subspace stops counting because it gives him quite the headache. Those outbursts always left him draining emotionally despite that facade of everything is fine. He’s pretty sure that he might just lose it completely if his mentor’s words didn’t smack some senses back into his mind. Every time Subspace acts rashly, both of you are injured. Some of his poison has a high chance to get into your vein by this point, yet you can always bandage yourself up. It hurts, oh definitely, but it’s nothing compared to what you have done to the other Inphernal. Subspace, on the other hand, needed to be knocked out before he ended up poisoning himself even more. It’ll give you more of a reason to take care of him, but you should just save that trick for later

• To rub even more salt into the wound, you keep staying no matter how much he tries to threaten you to stay out of his life. You keep accompanying him, protecting him without giving a damn of if he wants it or not. The ultimate wish you keep for yourself is simply to make sure that there will be nothing that shall come to harm him ever again — while you’re literally ignoring the fact that maybe it’s you who keep him in this situation — and you’re not afraid to act on it if needed. Subspace has made a lots of attempts to get rid of you, yet none of them ever work out. Honestly, he only has himself to blame since his heart is still beating for you, which is maybe why he lets you live for this long. You’re even far worse than normal overprotective people that steps too close in his personal bubble, because you’re already in that restricted zone in his heart with that complexity that pushes Subspace off his limits

• You love him, yeah, he gets it. But this obsession of yours is probably worse than his at the time being. All the times you work with him to find a cure to his rotten state, you just have to add a little extra things to screw the whole thing up, which makes Subspace’s condition worsened even more. In your eyes, as long as he remains vulnerable, he will still need you. And if he still needs you, then you will be able to keep this purpose of living forever by his side. You didn’t even hide that glimpse of glee when the doctors revealed that there was no cure to his rot, that means you are still needed! Sure, a part of you did feel guilty for ruining him to this point, but then all is well. You know just the right thing to make up for him afterwards, even if it comes with Subspace’s daily resentment when seeing you. It’s not like he’s the only victim here, you have already broken yourself then built it up all over again just to be the perfect caretaker of his. Yet, you forgave him oh so easily just because you feel like he deserves better, that he can still change as long as you’re here with him to fix this mess

• A victim and a savior, how laughable when it’s quite the way to describe the relationship between the two of you now. You wish to fix Subspace, to fix everything he has done wrong, or at least what you deem to he wrong in his life. Subspace on the other hand, is constantly overwhelmed with how you keep trying to fix the unfixable problems that’s not even yours to begin with. The worse part in this dynamic is that none of them can just walk out from each other: You need to play the ‘savior’ in Subspace’s life as it gives you the opportunity to feel seen, to feel good for once after so long

• And things aren’t that bright in Subspace’s side either. He still loves you, maybe just a little more than he loves a plaything, but it still counts. As much as he hates to admit, he might or might not have grown used to that delusional mindset of yours when it comes to aiding — more like controlling at this point — his life for the sake of his own safety. You have made him like this, he has to rely on you no matter how much the irritation is burning within him. You need him, and he needs you too. Whether it’s voluntary or not doesn’t matter. In another words, the two of you need each other desperately

• Yet, Subspace has learned to adapt to it, as he already failed to get rid of your annoying existence just because of this stupid feeling he has for you. You’re lucky that he’s a bit more fond of you than the others, or else you’re just as good as dead. At this point his body can’t be pushed too far if he still wants to live, though he carves to continue his research to serve Blackrock even when those experiments require the criteria that he doesn’t have anymore. So what’s better than to take advantage of your insistence on aiding him in anything possible to do that instead?

• He immediately seizes that opportunity to make you the perfect shield for him to get away from troubles on purpose. You love playing the knight in shining armor? Fine, let him give you a few more reasons to risk your head off for him. Bossing you around to do dirty errands for him while he’s focusing on the necessary plans at hand for the Biografts is something he should have done long before. Not only does he finally has a brief moment to do what he genuinely likes, but also now, Subspace has someone that will risk everything just for his sake - which is, unfortunately, you. That’s his petty way of getting back at you for all those time you have been such a lovely pest in his life. Besides, he can’t help but find the entire thing to be pretty amusing after a good while

• The more you keep putting his well-being above your own needs, the more exhausted you slowly become whether it’s mentally or physically speaking. Yet, you feel like you have finally given a sustainable purpose to follow in long term with who you love so dearly. You neglected your own needs to put him on the top priority, enough for you to be burning out while chasing this fever dream of a purpose you forced yourself into. With how much you have done for him, you know that it will be more than just a good excuse to use it as a favor to make him listen to you the next time you want to ensure his health and safety in your very own way. Though for now, you keep making a fool out of yourself by running such ridiculous errands for Subspace. Most of them aren’t easy either, since you have volunteered to do such direct tasks that he can’t perform due to his condition. Of course, the weariness starts to get even more visible on your face, especially your eyes

• Does he feel bad for it? No, absolutely not. This is Subspace we’re talking about. This sadistic bastard enjoys seeing you like that as if he is admiring a dear jester. You will do just anything for him, and Subspace’d like to see how much of an idiot you actually are. Certainly, they are not enough to kill you, that’s for sure. Though those ideas will be saved for later. For now, all Subspace wants is to simply amuse himself with your presence. If anything, then it makes him feel drawn more to you. That miserable expression seems to be oddly suitable for you, and he seems to like it a lots! Misery loves company after all. He knows that there will soon be your turn of dragging him down the next time you’re in your ideals of saving him again, but just let him enjoy himself somewhat here

• It’s draining for both you and Subspace, as this relationship is anything but healthy. But truth be told, cold water feels warm when your hands are freezing. This co-dependent relationship is ruining the both of you, but also giving each of you a new day to look forward to seeing. You find comfort in being Subspace’s beloved helper, the one that goes through hell and back for him just to make sure that his well-being is guaranteed. Subspace relies on your ability to look out for him because he has to in order to survive a little longer than he originally thought. Even when he does hold a grudge on everything you have done to him, he can’t shake the empty feeling when thinking of a life without you. Indirectly, you are each other’s force to continue going forward into the future. You two find comfort in each other in this forsaken toxic relationship. Even when you are suffocating the lives out of your own good, at least it might have been worth it in the end. All for him, as you reassured yourself

• No matter what, you still provide every support he needs for him. And like it or not, Subspace has to rely on you for as long as he still wishes to continue living. No one knows when will the two of you decide to put this torturous play into an end to free you both out of this tragedy, though by the looks of it, neither you nor Subspace has any real intention to leave in the moment. You and him are bounded together for this everlasting waltz of sweet misery, as the savior destroys himself to put the pieces on his beloved victim as an attempt to ‘fix’ him, yet the dance continues with each piece being consumed by the poison the victim carried. People couldn’t help but shaking their heads when seeing the two of you together. Yet for now, you simply want nothing more than this. And hopefully Subspace think so too, even the chance is rather slim

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

Note: Did you all think floral tea will only be served in draft (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵)?

Note 2: Floral tea is meant to be bittersweet, as both parties aren’t that miserable compared to the angsty load of green tea. Floral tea has the bitterness of the first time, yet slowly getting sweeter slightly when you think about the ‘false’ comfort it might bring. Green tea on the other hand? Angst, angst and pure tragedy (ﾟ∀ﾟ)

[eluxurex]

gimmie sooty lore they look cool

Well, that guy is probably one of my least traumatized OCs and that's just because I prefer to keep most of his trauma as a 'what if' scenario that never actually happens in canon.

But I guess before I explain that, I shall explain how his world works.

Well, I like to think that the Earth as well know it (in this universe) has some sort of funnel shaped mist on top of it.

This is just a messy sketch, and probably even accurate too because the mist is so much that you probably won't see the complete shape of it, such everyone just thinks it's funnel shaped

So basically this... thing, generates souls. Nobody is too sure what exactly happens inside it that souls are created, because this mist can only be seen on certain days (If you're someone who doesn't have the gift too see it 24/7) when there's lots of traffic going on (Lots of souls being created or lots of soul 'returning to their origin')

When you die, your soul leaves your body and floats back up into the mist, most people have agreed that when that happens, your soul is broken to its most basic components and recycled, for a new soul to make use of. Sometimes this process isn't entirely clean, as some people have reported having memories of things they don't think they've done, which was something that fueled the idea of past lives.

Anyways, souls are usually given traits on what sort of body they are meant to inhabit (human, monster, animal) but sometimes mistakes happen and they enter the wrong body. When that happens, the current that they are in starts together traits of the sort of vessel that they were actually supposed to be inside (For Sooty's case, he was meant to be a wolf, but his soul entered a human vessel, so the body adapted to the soul and got wolfish traits)

Children who died as soon as they were born, is a result of no soul claiming the vessel during gestation period.

Some souls weren't created from the mist, sometimes two or more very powerful individuals can be able to create a unique soul as they produce offspring, but it's a risky practice, as th mist doesn't accept souls that didn't come from it and the souls would now just be referred to as 'lost souls' floating around until God knows what happens to them. They are other ways a soul can be created, but maybe that will be another topic ig.

Now, enough with that, time for Sooty's lore. Well, since he's technically a wolf, he obviously will have some animalistic behavior. His parents (he never knew them) dumped him in the woods when he was barely a year old, because they got scared by the fact that he was having wolf ears ( there was a time where people didn't accept these sort of things and saw them as failed humans) but luckily for him so ironically got adopted by a pack, because apparently him being in a human body wasn't near to enough to severe the connection between the species he was actually meant to be.

But he didn't really stay with them for long. He wasn't that old when he realized that this sort of thing wouldn't work out in the long run, so he left them, surviving by himself. A lone wolf, if you want to call it. This guy was just around 7 when he did that, btw. That also didn't last for long, because child protective services found him, and were trying to educate him and teach him more human ways. It surprisingly worked out, but Sooty didn't have a legal name so they were still fishing around for names that will good for him.

So after that, they didn't want him to be lonely, so they took him to an orphanage where he met Eli (that one is another story on its own lmao). Eli didn't really like him (or anyone really) but after a while these guys became inseparable. And it was Eli that suggested the name Sooty to him to use.

So ye that's all basically.

[saveahorserideaneddie]

Thank you for letting me rant :) I am also entirely aware that not all of these are considered to be unpopular opinions!

I actually love the lawsuit arc and to this day it is one of my favorite fic plots to read as long as their is a good conclusion and they come back together as a family.

I have been done with Maddie constantly crying on 9-1-1 calls for several seasons now, its just getting old and very predictable.

Hen and Chim should not have forgiven Tommy and it should have been discussed how his racism and sexism hurt them both. A conversation between Chim and Maddie about his early years at the 118 with Tommy as one of his bullies would have been amazing.

Karen deserves to be a badass within her own right!!!

I don't consider Hen, Buck, and Eddie's "cheating" to be canon. None of it fits into the characters. Same goes for Athena hitting/ being down right mean to her kids (i.e., Harry)

everyone is always welcome to rant to me!!! (as long as it’s not hateful towards me or anyone aside from tim minear and he who shall not be named lmao)

since you gave a list (genuinely love you for that) im gonna number my responses to each:

1) i have mixed feelings about the lawsuit arc in canon BUT i will always eat up a good lawsuit era fic

2) honestly, anon, i’m tired of madney getting nde’s every season (i’m tired of nde’s in general tbh bc i miss s1-4 era of like bad injuries happening but nothing kukoo bananas like the jonah thing in s5 or the kidnapping plot in s8 even though i did enjoy ep 10 ahsgsgsg) so i get it- it feels like that’s jlh’s schtick to them and they never let her do anything else which is a shame bc she’s SUCH AN AMAZING ACTRESS LIKE ALL OF THEM ARE PLEASE GIVE THESE PEOPLE MORE RANGE

3) i actually don’t think they have forgiven tommy because we’ve seen nothing in canon to actually imply that- since he came back in s7 their interactions have been limited, hen never kept in contact w him, chimney only called him once for a favor in s2 and then didn’t invite him to his wedding, henren confronted tommy about his intentions w buck in a deleted scene from 709 that did NOT them being pro tommy… i feel like tim was trying to brush it under the rug without actually acknowledging it but in doing so he just basically said that the begins episodes didn’t actually matter bc “he was closeted uwu 🥺” (as if that’s an excuse) i also would have loved for them to have actually utilized that w madney or henren more onscreen- especially after the breakup in ep 6 because it would have helped buck SO MUCH more mentally in processing the breakup if hen and chim were like “we didn’t want to spoil your first queer relationship, but he’s not and never has been a good guy” and explained what happened…. but that would mean that tim would have to acknowledge that he basically retconned and ignored racism for an entire year and he’s never gonna do that bc that just makes him look bad 💀

4) AGREED AGREED AGREED KAREN MAIN WHEN?

5) so i actually have complicated feelings on the buck and eddie of it all; i think what happened with lucy wasn’t cheating bc buck did not initiate it, but his mistake was in not immediately telling taylor. with eddie…. i’ve been in kim’s shoes before (it’s a long story) so that one is harder for me to justify, BUT, i don’t genuinely think eddie had feelings for kim or anything like that- he was leading her on in a way that implied to her that he did (and eventually to marisol chris and buck too) but it’s hard for me to fully get behind the whole “cheater” label just because he technically never did anything to constitute cheating; it wasn’t physical, and it wasn’t emotional beyond wanting to get closure over shannon, but unfortunately they did go on multiple outings that could be considered “dates” so even if he intended it or not… he still on a technicality is a cheater….

hen however…. that one was out of left field and honestly felt so ooc even in s1, but it’s literally the only case of infidelity on this show that i can’t find any way to explain away- and i hate it so much bc they literally spent half the first season villainizing a black queer woman bc she was a cheater, BUT i do think she’s since made up for it and actually had some form of character development from it (other than the buck and eddie situations that were just plot devices for dramatic arcs)

as for the athena of it all; i have a love hate relationship w athena bc like half the time i love athena but other times she’s such a COP that it just has me going :/ i do however think it fits her character especially considering she’s a child of a souther baptist family (i say as the child of a southern baptist family) who still has some outdated ideas on parenting that aren’t helped by the fact that she is a cop

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Im feeling angsty rn😈😈

Child reader dying protecting Ben?:33

-🎀

Summary: Child reader dies protecting Ben

Genre: Angst, no comfort

Warnings: Major character death (namely you), grieving, mild gore being depicted, shooting

A/n: I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF FOR REQUESTING THIS

Credits: Ben drowned- Creepypasta, Both Dividers- sister-lucifer on tumblr

It was a mistake. A stupid mistake. It always is. He's a ghost, why did you step in front of him? It wouldn't have hurt him anyways, why did you do that? And it's not like you had unresolved business so you aren't even going to come back, he'll never see you again and-

Fuck, he needed to calm down.

The day started out fine. Today was a special day actually, as Slender was permitting you to go on your first ever mission outside of the manor. You were getting older, so you needed to start pulling your weight around the house. Ben actually doesn't do physical missions like you'd be doing, he does all the technical stuff like finding victim's information, supplying materials, etc. But, because you begged and begged, he was going to be the one going out with you to make sure you didn't get arrested or caught up in more trouble than you needed.

You'd been so excited. Your first ever mission! If only he knew that'd be the last time he'd see your happy face.

It started out good enough, a little messy, but nothing you couldn't handle. The mission dragged on though, but Ben allowed it to. He wanted you to get good experience, even if it meant you took a little longer than he'd like. Yeah, he wanted to hurry up and get home, but every time he saw your enthusiastic smile, he thought to himself that maybe a little bit longer wouldn't kill him. Eventually though, this decision came back to haunt him in the worst way possible.

He was being careless, he wasn't paying attention. He missed the footsteps creeping up behind the two of you, he missed the guy aiming at him, he didn't even know you were behind him until it was too late. He was turned facing the wall, looking at one of the posters the establishment you two were in had up. When he heard the gunshot, he was startled because you two were supposed to be the only ones in there. When he turned around, the first thing he saw was that you were right in front of him, your arms spread out wide, trying to cover him. The shooter had already fled, leaving you standing for a short period before gravity took over and you collapsed.

He didn't even processed what had just happened until he heard you gurgle. You were choking on your own blood. That's when it all clicked for him, you had tried to save him from being shot. His first instinct was to be annoyed that you'd tried to do such a thing, but he found that he was more angry at himself than at you. You were panicking, you were scared about what was happening. You'd never died before. In a flash you are back at the manor, and you are in Ben's arms as he frantically runs around, trying to get someone, anyone, to listen to him and help him get you to the medical wing.

When he finally does get you there, EJ doesn't even have to glance to know it's too late. You'd lost too much blood, and were still losing more. You had too much internal bleeding and not enough time for him to even think about trying to stop it. This was all much to Ben's dismay, he is screaming and throwing things around, punching walls and demanding that you be taken care of, that you be fixed. You'd never seen Ben like this before. He's usually so calm and mellow, seeing him like this would've scared you if you weren't so close to death.

When you finally flatlined, it's like everything in him just broke. He no longer screamed, or yelled. He just....stopped. Like he couldn't believe it'd actually just happened. He knows he'll never see you again, not unless he can convince Slender to revive you, which he knows he won't do. Slender only revives employees that he gets use out of. You'd never even gotten a chance to prove yourself.

He scoops you up in his arms, and sits in a corner of the medical wing, rocking you slowly like he knew you liked. He doesn't know how long he sat there, just rocking you. It must've been a while though, because one by one his friends came in to try to coax him out of the room, saying you needed to be buried and that he needed to rest. He'd never let that happen. For you to be buried is for him to never see you again, and he just can't let that happen. He just needs to hold onto you for a little while longer.

And so he sits, and rocks you slowly in the way he knows you liked.

[crazylittlejester]

You mentioned the modern heroes having different body types than canon due to different lifestyles, so how has it affected everyone? (This is a free invitation to yap about their different body types and like lifestyle writings if you'd like to /gen)

Also, since everyone is suffering with them, how do the boys deal with exams? Does the stress make Sky's epilepsy worse, and if so how do Twi and Wars help him deal with it?

Answering your second question first because it’s shorter alskkdkd (also my bad for spelling errors or weird grammar mistakes my brain is friend from finals)

Yes, exams make Sky more likely to have a seizure because one of his triggers is stress, but over the years he’s gotten somewhat better about not letting everything stack up and overwhelm him. Its not the easiest thing in the world to get Sky to stop and take a break, because if he thinks he’s being treated like glass he’ll get snappy towards people (he knows War and Twi don’t treat him ANY differently but years of teachers being like “why don’t we take a deep breath honey?” in a real condescending way have kinda just made him likely to lash out when people try to help him), but War is a good buddy for him during exams because they keep each other on track and well cared for. Apart from being friends throughout high school, they were roommates those first two years of college in the dorms before they got the apartment with Twi, so War is JUST as familiar with Sky’s epilepsy as Sky is with War’s anxiety attacks (which is the whole reason he has his cats, they were therapist recommended emotional support animals). They keep each other from getting too overwhelmed, and Sky is more likely to let War drag him away from studying to take a break and a lap around their block than he is Twi because Sky knows War most definitely needs the break too. These days they can get through exams with one anxiety attack from War and only a couple more seizures than normal from Sky

As for the others: Wind is the least bothered by exams (he’s in high school still), Four isn’t at their university technically, Wild gets so far past the point of stressed that it loops back around to being COMPLETELY calm and he sometimes needs reminders to even do his work at all, Legend wait till the last minute and then has 2-5 days where he just doesn’t leave his room because he has so many projects to wrap up, and Hyrule is in the same boat as Twi where he’s stressin’ but he’s making it out okay

NOW FOR BODY TYPE DIFFERENCES:

Time is the BIGGEST difference. In LU i hc him to be roughly 5’10 and 170lbs, a fairly big and muscular guy, but my modern au he’s 5’10 (just barely) and around 135lbs. He’s got a few chronic health issues that make it a bit harder for him to gain and keep weight, but he’s by no means weak and he’s within a healthy weight range. Malon is the one lifting and carrying shit around the ranch more often than not (with Twilight helping as well whenever he’s over), and Time can still help her carry heavier things but Malon IS stronger than him and more often than not its HER helping HIM, so he focuses more on feeding and caring for the animals

Twilight is 5’10 (closer to 5’11) and around 180lbs. He lives in the city now because he’s moved in with Sky and War to be closer to his college, but even though he’s not doing ranch work he still works out a good few times a week. He doesn’t have clearly defined muscle like i hc LU Twi would, he’s got a bit more body fat on him, but he’s very fit and he’s the friend people call to help them move shit

Warriors probably has the most similar body type to his LU counterpart (and that fact is literally the reason this whole au came about because that man has a dancer’s build and well. here we are aldkdkd), though he too is a little taller. Theres a running joke that he can’t admit he’s not taller than Twilight, which started from the fact that freshman year of high school, he WAS taller than Twilight. It’s painfully obvious now, because even with War at 5’8, Twilight is almost 3 inches taller than his ass, but Warriors has never said out loud Twilight is taller so theres a whole joke about him still being in denial. Like my hc for him in LU, modern au War has incredibly low body fat, he is mostly muscle and bone. His weight is usually around 120-125lbs and he spends nearly every waking moment basically working out. On week days he wakes up, has a protein shake, hits the skating rink for two hours, eats more for a real breakfast at 8 on his way to class, spends most of his day dancing and takes breaks for snacks and lunch, has dinner, goes to dance rehearsal, has another snack, and then goes to bed and does it all again. Even on weekends he spends like 8 hours dancing and skating, he’s CONSTANTLY moving and running around (he really needs to take a break, one of these days Sky is going to tape him to the couch)

speaking of, Sky is around 5’5 and 140lbs, his epilepsy meds mess with his weight which made him really upset when he first started taking his current medication, and he’s significantly less muscular than his LU counterpart. He runs sometimes (when Twi bullies him to), and he does love going on walks, but his version of working out is NOT hitting the gym. He goes for strolls with his gf in the park and they have a very lovely time

Hyrule is 5’4 (a bit taller than i hc him to be in LU) and around 115lbs with a small but solid frame, he spends his days running around looking for rocks and hiking. People who don’t know him or what he does in his free time are genuinely shocked when they discover he has a decent amount of muscle because he spends so much time climbing things (both trees and also the climbing wall in the gym)

Legend is 5’2 bless his heart and around the same size as Hyrule, which would be nice if they had the same clothing style because then they could share but they most certainly do Not. He has a lot of issues with chronic pain so he’s not someone who can always get up and work out or even just walk around easily, so he is usually asking Twi to come down a floor and help him move the new trinket shelf he’s bought

Wild is significantly less muscular than i hc him to be in LU, and also a bit taller (5’4). He can’t work out super easily because of his hip and he lost a lot of muscle when he had to quit skating, and he now weighs around the same as War (Which makes War’s ability to lift him when they mess around skating on Wild’s good days really impressive because War does not look like he’d be able to lift 120 so easily but he sure can)

Four is 4’11 and a liar, because you will never hear him say he’s anything other than 5’1. The others know he’s not but they let him have it because he’s the shortest so it’s not like he’s lying to be taller than someone else aldkdkkd 😭 he’s around 110 lbs and has a decent amount of muscle in his arms from being a blacksmith’s apprentice. he doesn’t really work out much, he’ll mess around and play games with Wind that require running but that’s about it

Wind is pretty similar to how I hc him in LU, (though he’s an inch taller at 5’3). He isn’t done growing and he’s a bit thin for his height currently (at around 100lbs) because he hit a growth spurt and hasn’t had the time to adjust to suddenly being taller. He’s INCREDIBLY active, he plays soccer, he begs War to take him skating and play ice hockey with him, he will go on runs with Ayrll, he LOVES going fast and just moving around CONSTANTLY. He won’t get too much taller (he’ll stop at 5’5) and he’ll grow into his height in the next few years

[katyspersonal]

I could be wrong here so forgive me in advance, but do you think Miyazaki knows that the English translation for Bloodborne is wrong in places? I had always thought he worked closely with the translation team, but if there’s so many inconsistencies in the text does he even know about it? He seems quite meticulous about the writing process and if his work has been translated wrong, and therefore a large number of fans are getting the wrong version, then that can be good on Fromsofts part. Of course I could be wrong here and there might be more to it so again forgive me if this came across wrong

Yeah, normally Soulsborne games localisators consult Fromsoft closely for the topic of misinterpretations! The mistakes still slip through here and there and minor characters can remain misgendered or called wrong! For example, Zinder @ Zandroe thing, lost nuances in some names or boss titles (like 'father of the Abyss' gives different connotations than original's 'master/owner of the Abyss'), them calling just one of Havel's knight 'Havel the Rock' which made the whole fandom assume Havel was some tower's rando and not a giant we've never seen, Throne Watcher being male, missing nuance that Izalith IS the name of Witch of Izalith etc etc etc.

At the same time, Lost Sinner being a she was clearly result of communication! Never even once she uses a 'she' or is referred to as female character in Japanese descriptions or even official Design Works interview, she uses gender neutral reference + descriptions that omit pronouns! In these gender-neutral cases, localisation team always defaults to 'he', but not this time! And we are talking about the character who not only uses gender neutral pronouns, but looks like a male character! So yeah, they had to come and say "Hey, this boss is female character btw, please don't screw this up".

The problem with Bloodborne, and Demon's Souls for that matter though? It is Sony.

These guys hold two of the best universes Fromsoft created hostage and are allowed to do fuck ALL with them regardless of what the actual developers do or say! After how much they've allowed BRUHpoint to massacre Demon's Souls in the corporative slop remake, and actual Fromsoft devs could never say anything against the bad changes because not they """own""" Demon's Souls? After how all they could do was to politely distance from the remake and hope that if they close their eyes it will go away?

Yeah, trust me, Sony allowing one of their most iconic tragic badass characters to be changed into a drooling disgusting misogynist creep is not even the final form of Sony not caring what actual creators think or imply. If Fromsoft never was able to step in and tell them to stop removing environmental storytelling, music that carries intention and authentic designs in the remake, you can tell that if they said 'Hey can you tell the localisation team to not make our character weird?' Sony would of course give them a level-headed, respectful and reasonable response that could go approximately like this:

Another thing is that, doing Gehrman dirty is sort of "sneaky" change. Like, developers could easily analyse the localisation and not find anything weird! "Even the Doll, should it please you" for example is not wrong on itself: "should it please you" is archaic way of saying "if you're okay with this" (which IS what Gehrman literally says in the original) and it is easy to assume he still just refers to her as a part of what you, Hunter, can use in this Dream to become stronger. She levels you up! "Curious mania" is also a non-issue technically; Maria, whose set this description belongs to, literally tells you that she will liberate you from curiosity, so on the surface level it is easy to connect the dots! And sure everyone must know what Victorian grieving dolls were, right? RIIIIIIGHT?

Like... I always dunk on localisation team for doing Gehrman dirty, but to be honest, they barely did shit. They just arranged words in a weird way to sound ✨fancier✨, and it is Western fanbase who had SUCH a severe case of "if he breathes he is misogynist" brainrot that of course they had only one way to take English script! But from developers' standpoint, even the most meticulous analysis would not have shown anything wrong, especially when it comes from people who wrote the guy. 'Semantics' is literally the MOST pointless thing to get caught in when analysing anything Soulsborne, one should focus on subtexts and intentions.

Like, you have to question why. Do you think that Fromsoft would write a sad old man with defined idea in their mind about his vibe, his story and his feelings about Maria, and then see some guys take quite the creative liberty on him and go "Damn, why didn't WE think of actually making him a textbook misogynist old creep who actually hated to train his student all along and secretly wanted to reduce her to a tradwife sexslave? 😔 The much better take on this character than whatever boring emotionally engaging bullshit we wrote, other countries can enjoy the version that makes way more sense frrrr"? Do you think they would approve their iconic final boss becoming known to the rest of the world as my (now dead) weirdo grandpa? They who write heart-rending stories and deep, complex, tragic characters? They would trade that on a caricature? It is a similar issue with certain Marika stans who insist that Miyazaki excused genocide in his work due to some writing decisions and implied that Hornsent were just evil race doing evil just to be evil because they're born evil - you have to question why. Why would a person consistently speaking against such things in his writing suddenly write a puddle deep story of "marika good hornsent bad"? And here is also why: why would a person consistently writing sympathetic characters like the idea to put literal Seluvis at the emotional climax of the story?

And it is not like the side effects of this misinterpretation are instantly obvious! Do you think devs would know, or care, that those toxic Gehrman haters harass people who actually get this character right? That they act like shipping Gehrmaria is some criminal offence and "disrespect to the character"? That they call fellow artists and writers media illiterate misogyny apologists, exclude them from their mutual groups, collabs and dumb Discord servers over the awful sin of paying attention to obvious intention behind the character? That they think everything only exists through the prism of their negative experience? That they think there is something wrong in defending a character only based on the fact that he is "cis white male :("? Sure, some developers are active in their fanbase and commonly address what they do or say, to the point of going "swiper no swiping!" on their especially rabid members, but not Fromsoft, not really. It is just us, the many artists and writers on bad websites that don't matter, having infights.

But yeah, to conclude: 1) Gehrman was not even that much changed from the perspective of any normal person who is not deliberately looking for reasons to get mad during media analysis and 2) Even if devs got worried about wrong delivery of the character, Sony doesn't care about artistic integrity of their IPs so why even bother with someone who is free to do what they want?

I do think that number 1 was more of a factor, but still, I dread to think how Miyazaki sleeps at night after how Demon's Souls got tarnished in mass consciousness due to awful remake, tbh. Also don't worry or apologise. However, if I came across rude, you can always discuss these things with @fantomette22, @heraldofcrow or @val-of-the-north too! They are way more polite and patient even about the things they feel strongly about, I am the "bad one" of the Lore Council lol

[malina-33]

Femme Like You - Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Summary: You are the new tour manager for Arctic Monkeys during The Car era. You are practically the only girl in the team, also younger than the rest (27 y.o.), so your skills are immediately called into question. In particular, by the frontman who is not used to being led by a woman.

Word count: 10,2k

Warnings: swearing, emotional swing (is it even a warning?), kind of voyeurism (slight), age gap

A/N: Dear friends, hi!! I know, I know that I've promised you to update the fic every 3 weeks, and the disappeared for 1.5 months, but I spontaneously found a job, so there was very little time. But the chapter is much longer and with some interesting collaborations ;) I'll hope you enjoy them!

And write down what do you think if I make a description of not only the whole work, but also the chapter before each new part? Or is it better to keep the intrigue till the end?

In any case, I look forward to your feedback, it's soooo much important for me. I won't promise to return before the end of September, but I'll do my best not to delay. I already have an interesting plot for the next chapters, you should like it💔

*guys, English isn't my first language so if I have (and I know I have lol) any grammar/logic mistakes don't hesitate to tell me :)

The first week after meeting with the group flew by unnoticed. You dealt with the documentation, understanding how necessary it is, no matter how much you hated it, phoned the representatives of Ashton Gate stadium, made sure that everything was okay and confirmed the presence of the group and even tried to check the weather since the gig would be held outside. However, it turned out to be a little more difficult with the transport company. Apparently, James forgot to warn them about the temporary removal of his duties, so you had to spend time clarifying the situation and explaining who you are. It seemed that your hands-on approach was excessive, because you were trying to control everything in one time, but only due to the feeling of extra responsibility.

Steven, as promised, sent the contacts of the guys and important people from the technical crew, so now your phone had the names of Jamie Cook, Nick O'Malley, Matthew Helders and Alex "dickhead" Turner among others. 19 years old you would definitely envy yourself. So when you got a message while cooking pasta for dinner on Saturday night, you already knew it was from the drummer and not from an anonymous online scammer.

Matthew Helders: "good evening, Miss Y/S! I hope you aren't busy. We'll wait you on the soundcheck on Monday at 2 pm in Domino, need your advice :)"

You almost overcooked Carbonara bacon rereading the message. "Do they really need my advice?" you whispered, furrowing your brows "About what?". But the only answer was:

You: "Sure! Do I need to take some 12% cider?"

Matthew Helders: "you better not show up without a package lol"

Immediately followed by:

Matthew Helders: "just kidding! We are waiting only for you, but in the company of cider it will be even better)"

You chuckled, surprised at how quickly Matt went from formal Miss at the beginning of the conversation to smiles and lols at the end. To tell the truth, you still didn't fully understand how to behave with them. On the one hand, you are their manager and have a certain influence, as well as subordination. Steven and James don't have it, although they are "higher" in position, but they've been friends for half of a life, and you are a completely new person. On the other hand, in this area there is no place for strict formalities, especially since the guys don't look like those who would comply with them. After all they were big kids no matter how mature and pretentious they could look on stage, and you clearly felt it. Maybe your company will help them to relax even more, so there won't be any awkwardness and you will naturally find an edge where all of you will feel comfortable and which no one will cross.

With those thoughts, Carbonara and Rosé you spent your Saturday night watching your favorite series "La Piovra". You got used to such calm and quiet evenings. The era of parties until the morning has passed in the university years, and it’s not that you don’t go to clubs now, it’s just that the older you become the better you began to appreciate moments of silence. Not to be bored alone with yourself is the most valuable skill that you have acquired in your life. Having lived first with your parents for a long time, then getting married early at the age of 20 and having lived with your husband for 3 years, you were essentially not left alone with yourself. Having discovered over time that you feel absolutely nothing for the person whom you said "yes" to in the registry office, you were horrified and frightened to say at least. You thought that you get married once for a lifetime, but it turned out that happy endings exist only in fairy tales. That period of despondency, depression and eventual deepening into work gave its results. Major labels began to notice you, inviting you to musical projects with famous bands such as Maneskin. You worked with them for 1.5 years, leaving after their heyday at the Eurovision, realizing that you can’t give them more. That was your second decision to leave, but unlike the divorce, it didn't bring you much suffering. You understood that you and the group gave each other a lot, and although the parting was bitter, everyone understood that it was necessary. You still remained friends with the guys and periodically wrote off to meet. You planned to go to their concert, but couldn't find the time. And after your assignment to the Monkeys it became even more harder to shedule.

After the divorce you didn't have a serious relationship, instead you had a dream job, money, a car, a country house and even a corgi Grapes. You weren't afraid of the future, loved the time in seclusion and found inner peace by meditating on the production of cider, which was your unusual but very tasty hobby. Were you fully happy, though? Wouldn't you like to cross the threshold of the house and be met not by a dog's barking, but by a warm kiss on the forehead and a quiet "how was your day"? You probably wanted to, but it was hard to admit, especially considering that the fear of intimacy sat somewhere deep inside, not letting you forget the disappointment that you experienced when you removed the engagement ring from your finger. Although you remained friends who didn't hold evil against each other, the bitterness of your marriage was almost impossible to remove from the memories.

But for now, your head has been occupied by the sudden question of where to put Grapes for the duration of the tour...

Monday morning was sunny and peaceful, you woke up in a surprisingly good mood, put on your make-up, put on your favorite lime flared jeans, loaded a case of apple drink from the basemеnt into the car, patted Grapes and drove off to the studio. The road took about an hour, so during this time you managed to phone your father. You haven't talked much lately due to your workload, and now was almost the only time of the day when you were relatively free. You put the speaker phone mode, listening to the slightly hoarse voice of the man, without being distracted from the road.

"Hello my dear! How are you?"

"Hi daddy, I'm fine, going to work right now"

"My busy bee, James has already told me about your progress" you could hear him chuckle, coughing a little. You could only guess what Ford said to your father, because you spoke to him only once in these 2 weeks, when you recalled him after meeting with the group. And not that your story was very colorful. Therefore, the guys or Steven contacted him, and from this point of view, you couldn't imagine what they possibly come up with towards you.

"He assured me the boys liked you"

"Oh, really?" you said on the exhale, squeezing your hands on the steering wheel tightly.

"Yes, James is pleased with you. Well done, babe!" you melted under his words. It felt like you were a little girl again who drew a family picture that was hung on the refrigerator, even though mom and dad looked like monsters.

"Thank you daddy, I'm very happy to be with them actually"

"Of course, in such a company of men. Should I be jealous? 'Cause I looked through their photos on the Internet" dad said proudly, to which you burst out laughing, stopping at a traffic light.

"Dad, c'mon, no! They're too old for me" you laughed.

"10 years are not a big deal. Anyway, your choice. Just don't forget to eat please, I know how tough you work now. Otherwise you'll get drunk on your cider. God, how did you even manage to get into this alcohol sphere..." the man groaned in prostration. You rolled your eyes, but still smiled without answering. You got used to your father's fast flow of different thoughts.

"And don't roll your eyes, little naughty one! I care about you. So if they hurt you, you know who to call, right?"

"Oi, who will offend whom first" you retorted defiantly.

"Okay okay, I won't interrupt anymore. Kiss Grapes for me. I love you"

"And I love you very much, hello mom"

"I'll pass it on, bye!"

You turned off the call, fully focusing on the road. After talking with your parents, you always felt warm in your soul, so up to the studio you didn't leave a smile when you sang songs from the radio under your breath.

You arrived exactly at 2 o'clock, as agreed with Matt, but when you saw a few more cars in the parking lot in addition to the familiar Cadillac, you realized that the guys had been here for a long time. You must have looked a little ridiculous in a business suit and heels and a wooden box under your arm, but you didn't have other choice. Holding the car key in your mouth and trying to press the button at the same time, you clumsily closed the trunk with your leg. A purse was still dangling somewhere on your shoulder, and sunglasses had slipped from head to the bridge of your nose. "Must be an amazing picture to observe" you thought tiredly "Oh, if only Matt were here".

But before you had time to think about it, you heard a soft laugh behind you. You turned around sharply, noticing the frontman smoking alone near the entrance. You spat the key into the box, finally pressing the right button, and shouted

"And how long do you look?"

"I came exactly at the most interesting moment" man smiled, taking a puff.

You heavily crossed the entire parking lot, approaching him. Turner, having finished smoking a cigarette and throwing it into a nearby trash can, silently took the box from your hands.

"Hi, Y/N" he greeted you wheezing nicotine in the lungs.

"Hi," you frowened a little, but slowly added "Alex".

Calling him by his first name was... Unusual. A week ago the appeal to him was exclusively Mr. Turner, but today he was the first to break this line. "Well, apparently, we will both have problems with the boundaries of what is acceptable" bitterly flashed through your thoughts.

You both entered the building - Alex with a box in front, you behind holding the door. The way was silent. You wanted to say something to break this crystal quietness of his, but by the time you mustered up the courage, you stopped at the door 13A. The vocalist pushed it with his left shoulder, squeezing the alcohol forward, and you trotted along.

As soon as you and Alex entered the sound studio, you were immediately greeted with whistling and loud hooting.

"Look who's here, Miss Y/N"

"Hi, guys! I'm here with gifts as promised" you smiled broadly.

Alex at this time put the box on the table and immediately took one bottle for himself.

You noticed that there were Tyler and Tom in the studio as well, so you mentally praised yourself for taking bottles with a margin. You didn't know them personally yet, but was willing to change it. Turner introduced you to the men, and surprisingly you didn't hear his usual sneer in the voice.

"So, welcome Y/N Y/S, she's our manager for the summer before America starts and James gets back"

"Happy to finally meet you!" you were the first to extend your hand to Tyler, which he shook gently, smiling affably, and then to Tom. But he intercepted your hand, kissing your knuckles and making you laugh.

"Mutually, Miss" Rowley said enchanted.

"And she makes her own awesome cider, get one" Matt ordered businesslike, raising his voice from behind the drum kit.

"Yeah, there is enough for everyone, don't hesitate to take"

Evidently you arrived during the break, and before that they had already rehearsed a bit. You were wondering what kind of advice they need from you. The thought that they just needed cider you pushed back with a grin. But Alex, as if reading your thoughts, leisurely started speaking leaning on the table and holding a drink.

"Well, thanks for the cider, but that's not what we called you for. Since you're such a big fan of My Propeller, we discussed it here and decided that it's possible to put one on the set list for a couple of times. So listen to how it sounds, maybe have some ideas or whatevah" he was trying to sound casual, not attaching importance to his words for you.

"I'll do my best!" you almost jumped from such news.

Jamie chuckled audibly, running his fingers over the guitar. You sat down on the couch as Matt tapped the rhythm with his sticks and the melody began.

Seductive. The first association that came to your mind when you heard the intro of this song. It was your favorite from Humbug for sure and one of the band's all time favorites. Alex never told in any interview what was the secret of the lyrics, and probably that was the reason it attracted you even more. The guys played it selflessly, as if there hadn't been those decades that they hadn't performed it. You liked how they gave themselves to the process, even if it was just a rehearsal. They were in simple t-shirts and Matt was proudly wearing pineapple shorts, but you could swear, a real concert was unfolding right in front of you.

When Alex started singing you tried to hide the goosebumps as best as you could, but it hardly worked out well. His voice flowed melodically, not betraying a hint of wheezing or breaking, which could arise due to the age. He closed his eyes, tightly gripping the microphone stand, and moved his feet to the beat, slightly ridiculous, but at the same time gracefully. Throughout the song, you didn’t take your eyes off the group for a minute, sometimes singing along to the words, pulling the last syllable of

 Coax me out my law

And have a spin of my propeller

When the song ended, you clapped and Nick even made a mock bow.

“I don’t know how objective my assessment will be, because apart from the words of delight I have nothing to add” you honestly admitted. It seemed to you that you heard Alex's quiet "As I said", but Matt was quick to interrupt him asking you "Actually, we have already decided to play it in Bristol, but the question is where to chip in. We'll definitely not start with this one, and the outro is already completed, so..."

You thought a little, trying to understand what motives My Propeller reminds you of, and then the penny dropped.

"Pretty Visitors!" you exclaimed louder than you should have because your words echoed through the silent studio.

"Smooth interlude from Pretty Visitors, yeah, not bad actually" Alex quickly developed your idea, turning to Matt, as if asking "Do you mind?", but the drummer only closed his eyes approvingly. It seemed that they didn't need any words at all, they could understand each other with guitar riffs and drum brakes. Their connection, it was amazing, honed to automatism for past 20 years. They were like scientists in a chemistry lab mixing potions together in an attempt to make a new elixir. It was magic to come true and watching this process was so intimate that you involuntarily felt the heat on your cheeks, as if you were engaged in voyeurism.

***

The hours in the studio flew by. Fortunately for you, the guys decided to surprise fans with the return of Mardy Bum which will be the opener. The exact setlist for Bristol was confirmed at the end of the rehearsal, bringing back Teddy Picker and The View From The Afternoon as well. So looking at the perfect 21 songs, you could only imagine what they would save for London. Originally you were going to visit their concert in your hometown, you bought tickets as soon as sales were announced, but after James's call you easily gave the ticket to a friend, saying that you had won a jackpot.

Tom and Tyler have already left and the five of you are left. You were sitting on a soft chair, moved from the corner of the room, and the guys opposite on the sofas. The boys had laid down their guitars and you were leding a peaceful conversation about life, since the studio rental time ended only in an hour. You told them about your career in the industry, Maneskin and the part time projects you've been working on lately, omitting the details of your divorce because you thought it was too early for them to immerse themselves in such personal aspects of your life.

"By the way, Vic is your big fan and Alex in particular" you giggled, remembering the way drunk Maneskin bassist told you that she would like to sleep with Turner. Those were the carefree times of your youth you warmly remembered.

"Really?" Matt raised his eyebrows as he sipped his seemingly endless bottle of cider "You still have their contacts, right?"

"Yeah, sure, we even text each other occasionally" you quipped.

"And you didn't say you were working with us?" Heldres was surprised.

"Actually, somehow it didn't seem possible" you lowered your gaze, "I mean what would it look like? "Hey guys, look who's here, I now manage the Monkeys btw?" - so what?"

You could tell by the Cheshire smile on Matt's bristly face that this was exactly how he thought.

"Oh no, Matthew, don't you-"

"Oh yes, darling, dial FaceTime, you'll show them our doll" the man neighed, turning to Alex, who had been sitting quietly on the couch until this moment, and fidgeted in place after the suggestion.

"For God's sake, Matt, what a kindergarten behavior" the vocalist howled irritably, rolling his eyes, "I don't even remember their names".

The idea of making fun of Turner a little for the morning case with the box and taking revenge seemed to you unexpectedly delightful. Your hand automatically sank into your pants pocket, deftly pulling it out into the light and finding the right WhatsApp chat.

"Don't worry, you just have to say hi to Vic, I'm sure you'll be fine" you sang sweetly, glancing slyly at Matt, who chuckled approvingly, glad that you supported his idea.

Alex only cursed at this and ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it. Either from nerves, or putting his hair in order before the call.

You moved from your seat to the couch between Alex and Matt, gesturing for Nick and Jamie to join. You put your hand in front of you so only your face was visible in the camera frame, waiting for one of the guys to take the call. It might have been a little ill-advised to call like this without warning on a workday evening, but anyway it was already too late, as the beeps trailed in a string of sounds. You hoped that they didn't have a concert today, in any other case, one of them would definitely pick up the phone from you. And by a happy coincidence, it was Vic who ended up on your screen.

"What the hell, Miss Boogie, are you really occasionally calling after all this time of silence?" despite Victoria de Angelis's accusatory words, she sounded playful. She was a little disheveled and with a bright blush on her face. People were walking randomly with the string interruptions in the background. Apparently, the guys were at the soundcheck at one of the venues, and Vic recently finished playing.

Four pairs of eyes openly stared at you with undisguised interest after hearing the nickname, demanding an answer, but you just mouthed "later".

"Awww, sweetheart, and I'm happy to hear you again too!" you said with an ironic smile.

 "I have a lot of news for you, and I will definitely call you in private soon"

"Are you not alone? Who's with you?" the girl even moved closer to the camera in an attempt to see something.

"Well, I have a little surprise for you. Actually four surprises, but one of them you'll find really special" you said conspiratorially, looking around at the guys who were still out of the picture. Alex sat to your right, trying to portray the most distant look, as if everything that was happening was nothing more than baby talk for him.

"Darling, if you have a group orgy without me, then I will be offended and drop the call" the bassist said threateningly, wiping her forehead with a towel that was hung on her shoulder.

You just burst out laughing "Ok ok, I'm not languishing you anymore. I hope you're ready. Boys, say hi to Vics" and you finally moved the camera further so that Matt, Nick and Jamie, who were sitting to your left, got into the camera frame, Alex's appearance you saved for a dessert.

The musician's reaction exceeded all your expectations. At first she narrowed her eyes, bringing the phone even closer to face, and then she widened them with a loud squeal, jumping up from her seat.

"What the hell, Y/N! What the actual fuck, you're a shitty mutherfucker!!!" she covered her mouth with her hand, chaotically moving the phone in different directions. Apparently, other members of the group came running to her scream, as you heard the voice of Damiano asking what happened.

"What happened?" she repeated "The fucking Arctic Monkeys are sitting next to Y/N!" answering a question off-camera and stabilizing the phone. Now you could clearly see the vocalist leaning over her shoulder, Thomas to the side and Ethan slightly behind.

Finally, the men next to you decided to introduce themselves "Hey, guys, what's new?" Matt said smiling to the camera, Jamie and Nick just waved their hands in a friendly manner.

"Oh my God, what's going on" Vic, still dumbfounded, spoke with a face of complete amazement. Damiano, who quickly figured out the whole situation and realized that Vic was unlikely to be able to communicate normally now, carefully took the phone from her hands.

"Hi, Y/N, long time no see! Hi, boys, how fresh you are" the frontman winked. The words "for your age" were suggested mutely, but David left them behind the scenes. The men next to you just laughed quietly at this remark and saluted the Italian boy.

"Vic, that's not all yet, look who's next to me" wanting to finally finish off your friend, you moved the camera to the side, revealing Alex's presence, who was already sitting with a polite smile on his face, leaning on the sofa armrest.

"Hi, love" Turner murmured hoarsely, turning on his usual charisma. You were surprised how quickly he went from "fuck off everyone" to his stage persona. Indeed, a skill acquired over the years.

De Angelis, after looking at the camera for just a second, squealed even harder than the first time, which you even grimaced a little, because in a quiet studio it sounded deafening.

The camera was still held by Damiano, but the girl in the frame could be seen doubled over, holding back cries of happiness. Her guys just laughed out loud at this, knowing full well what a strong fan of Alex she was.

"Y/N, I'm going to fucking kill you, I'll strap your ass so you can't sit still for another week, what are you doing to me?" Vic didn't let go of expressions, which made the men next to you shamelessly laugh, even Turner smiled predatoryly.

"Holy shit, you're real" the girl muttered in one breath.

Her adoration entertained Alex. Celebrities fangirling celebrities wasn't an unknown story for Alex, so the way Vic behaved didn't annoy him, but brought a feeling of sincere pleasure from what was happening.

"It would be strange if I wasn't, mhm?" the man grunted, changing the position - now he rested elbows on his knees, bringing the face closer to your phone. You could smell his light apple scent from the cider you both drank and the cigarette halo that soaked into all of the frontman's clothes.

Damiano finally decided to take control over the situation by turning the camera completely on himself.

"So, Y/N, if you wanted to surprise Vic, then you succeeded 100%! But we are now at soundcheck, and we don't have much time, and she" nodding towards the bassist "still needs to be brought to her senses. We were extremely happy to hear from you, babe. Call us when you are free and tell us everything in detail. Miss you very much!"

"Guys, me too! Love ya, see you at Glasto!"

"Wait! Take a screenshot!" Vic's desperate exclamation came from Damiano's left side.

He made a focused face, looking for the right buttons, while you and the men simultaneously smiled at the camera.

"Send it to the chat" you asked, ending the call and blowing a virtual kiss. You obviously cut off Vic's "I love you" without being entirely sure it was addressed to you.

The studio immediately froze in deafening silence. You put your phone down on the coffee table, still smiling.

"That was a real buzz, they're cute" Matt said leaning back on the couch. The mood of the guys clearly improved by this little conversation. You were glad that you could somehow diversify their evening after a productive and exhausting day. Even Alex stopped keeping his always compressed lips and frowning eyebrows.

"So, Miss Boogie, right?" Jamie began slyly, reminding you of your infamous nickname.

An approving "ooooo" reverberated around the room, from which you hid behind your palms.

"Damn, I was hoping you'd forget" you muttered from your hiding place.

"C'mon, we're intrigued already" Nick reached out to you through Matt, gently taking your hands away from your face.

Jamie suddenly started chanting your name, encouraging you to reveal this terrible secret, and Matt whistled as if Sheffield FC had just scored a goal.

"God, okay, just shut up please" you gave up.

The four men took more comfortable positions in anticipation of your story.

"In fact, there is nothing special in this story, it's just stupid. When Maneskin was approved for Eurovision, we went to celebrate, how can we not. It was in Milan. We got very drunk in a bar and went for a walk around the city. It was about 3 in the morning, and to entertain ourselves we played Truth or Dare. The most banal thing that could be, but nothing better came to mind. And I chose Dare, 'cause everyone else only cowardly told their secrets. So Vic asked me to dance for a minute on the street to any song that a passerby would name. Well, since at such time you are unlikely to meet any adequate passerby, we only found a beggar in the square. I don’t know how old he was, but the first song that he remembered was Boogie Wonderland" at this point you made a dramatic pause, "so yes, I had to dance to this song at night in front of other poor people who came up to us. Since then they call me Miss Boogie. Everyone is satisfied now, having fun, huh?"

You intentionally crossed your arms in insult, surreptitiously watching the laughing band.

"I bet there's a video" Matt said cheekily.

"Yes, there is, but you'll never see it!" you retorted quickly, glaring at the drummer.

"Your hot cheeks make me want to see this video even more" Nick teased tapping Matt on the shoulder.

"You know what," Alex suddenly announced, "choose any song you want. We play it, and you show the video"

You could swear your jaw was somewhere on the floor.

"Woah, did you decide to go all-in?" Matt asked, also not expecting such a generous offer "Be careful, otherwise you will have to play a Taylor Swift song"

"Ouch, why do you think I like her?"

"Who doesn't like her?"

"Your truth" you nodded approvingly.

"I meant our song. We'll perform it at the concert" Turner interrupted your dialogue, looking at you testily from under his eyelashes.

There was a slight silence, which you broke with a heavy sigh.

"Wow, okay, this is getting interesting" you muttered, leaning back on the couch like Helders had done earlier. The three men to your left looked at each other in surprise, waiting for an answer, while you've been thinking, looking at the frontman.

"Certain Romance," you easily stated, "I want this one"

"Your wish is my command, Miss Boogie," he joked without any hint of smile, standing up "you guys remember how to play it, don't you?"

The guys looked at each other dumbfounded, unable to find words for such a drastic change in the behavior of the vocalist, but after a discordant series of affirmative nods, they received a condescending smile from him.

"Well, that's great, there's still time to rehearse. I propose Sheffield!" Alex said solemnly, thrusting his hands into the pockets.

"Al, ru ok?" Matt raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"All right, man" Turner said artificially.

"This house is a circus indeed" swirled through your head. Alex's behavior was defiant. Emerging into conflict. Literally a minute ago everything was peace and quiet, and now he, like a proud peacock, was arranging a show for you at the level of a cheap soap opera.

"No, but seriously, let's even organize a lottery, since Y/N has such an influence on the setlist" Alex didn't let up.

"Come on, pipe down, you suggested it yourself" Nick intervened carefully, not wanting to stir up the smoldering coals of the conflict.

"And I think all of you are into this idea, aren't you?" Turner didn't raise his low, heavily accented baritone, but the underlying toxicity in his tone was evident, "oh, even better, let's ask our Italian friends for advice! Let's get their opinion and her video as well".

"Alexander, smoke?" you stood up decisively from the couch, grabbing your purse and phlegmatically glancing at the wooden cider box you'd probably have to leave in the studio. But you couldn’t leave the guys in such an atmosphere, so out of courtesy you promised to return again.

"Y/N, no problem, see you before Bristol! Send the screen to our group, 'cause I'm getting jealous for these Italians" Matt gave you an encouraging wink in the end, and you certainly promised to do it tonight.

"They'll kill each other"

"He doesn't stand a chance"

Jamie and Matt said at the same time as the door closed behind you.

Alex imposingly walked ahead, not hurrying anywhere. He politely said goodbye to the security guard, noting that the rental period had already come to an end. Almost bowing, he opened the door to the street for you, artificially gallantly holding it with his hand, still making a show from every gesture, which for some reason made you feel disgusted. You were counting on working with middle-aged men, accomplished musicians, but it feels like you are talking to teenagers.

Damp cold air from the river hit your red cheeks, which made you wrap yourself in a jacket more tightly. Alex took out a pack of Marlboro, offering you one, but nodding to himself, removed it, remembering your words a week ago practically at the same place.

"Well?" he said with a cigarette in his mouth, lighting the filter.

The sky was overcast with a milky haze of fog, which wasn't uncommon for these places, a weak wind was blowing, but not a single sound from the road was heard, which made you hear sparks from ignited tobacco hiss like champagne bubbles, falling on the asphalt.

Alex exhaled noisily, squinting at you with his eyes. His face was faintly lit by the flame of a cigarette, but even in such low light, it was noticeable that his gaze was completely blank. "Amazingly indifferent and deep eyes at the same time. It's impossible to tell anything from them" you thought. Or maybe he was like this only with unpleasant people to him, who you apparently were. You can’t even imagine the way these eyes changed on stage "Where are you real, Alexander?". But instead of asking this, you just threw your head back, tiredly closing your eyelids, showing with your whole appearance how absurd the situation is.

"Alex," there wasn't any visible point to call him Mr. Turner even though you were annoyed "I thought we made a deal, didn't we?"

"Really? When?" his voice sounded even more affected than in the studio, despite the fact that now the man spoke rather quietly and slowly. Or maybe even a whisper would be loud in this ringing silence.

"I just don't understand what the problem is" you continued, as if you didn't hear his words.

"I don't see it either, Miss Y/S"

You raised your eyebrows high as you asked a silent question, which made Alex smirk slightly. Taking a puff, he began to explain to you with the intonation of a parent teaching a child not to put his fingers in the socket.

"Listen, I won't hide it, you brought some chaos to our tour. This is different from your direct duties though - to solve all the problems on our way. But you're a stranger who stirred up our peace and foundation. I was initially against this idea, but James left me no choice. You are undoubtedly an educated young lady, and probably from a moral point of view, I sound like a scoundrel now-"

"You sound unprofessional, Alex. You only make me feel contempt, and I don't care about any moral side"

The frontman looked at you from under his brows, taking out a second cigarette in a row from the pack, waiting for a further reaction, but inside you was a frozen magma that didn't want to break out, muffled by self-esteem. For now.

His words contradicted his behavior. In the morning he carries your boxes and asks for a song advice, and in the evening he gives out this shit. If women's logic is ridiculed by society, then men do not have it at all.

“You know what, when James offered me this job, I was damn excited and proud that I would be working with a team like yours. I was on a cloud nine. But you, Alex, you're just a spoiled boy in the body of a 37-year-old man who hasn't overplayed his ambitions and thinks that his subtle nature is so fragile to understand that you need to hide behind the facade of an asshole so that normal people with good intentions don't crawl into your soul. You are cowardly and arrogant!"

You were breathing heavily, and the words "fool fool fool" stretched on repeat in a red line behind your eyes.

You didn't even understand how they escaped from your lips, absolutely thoughtlessly. You even instinctively wanted to raise a hand to cover your mouth, but pulled yourself back in time, deciding to play to the end. Show after show.

Alex hadn't raised a cigarette to his face during your tirade, so that the wick was almost dead in his fingers. You intensively looked at each other without stopping, and at some point it seemed to you that fear flashed in his pupils. Fear of the revealed truth. However, they were covered with a thick veil of indifference to what was happening in a second, and he finally took the last puff, throwing the butt right on the road.

"Miss Y/S, it seems that you have to go" the musician said unemotionally.

You took one last burning look at his features and, without saying a word, turned around towards your car. How ironic, a week ago you left each other in roughly the same sequence of activities - studio, cider, parking lot, but under completely different circumstances.

Slamming the door shut, you sharply revved, not bothering to warm up the engine, and drove out of the parking lot with a clang of tires. Burning tears of resentment gushed from your eyes, covering the already foggy road in front, but you didn't pay attention.

Your cooperation has just begun, and you have already swept on an emotional swing. Only in the morning you were driving in a car towards the sun and rejoicing at the warm words of your dad, and in the evening you return home, wiping the salty paths with the back of your hand from your face.

You were never embarrassed by tears, you cried out almost all of them during a divorce, but if they dripped from your eyes today, then there was a reason for that. Your parents taught you that after rain there is always a rainbow, after tears there is always peace of mind, you need to be able to live through any emotions in order to turn them into your power later.

***

You haven't seen the boys since that evening until today's early departure for Bristol. Of course, you communicated on all sorts of organizational issues during this time and there was no visible tension, especially since they didn't hear about your quarrel with Alex. You were more than sure that he would not tell his friends about that incident. This is what infringes on him, and therefore makes him weaker, which he couldn't allow.

All these days you have wondered what was the reason for such a sharp behavior, however you couldn't really delve into yourself. Why exactly you were crying - from resentment, overstrain or just an emotional outburst, it was also difficult to understand. Perhaps all together. Over the past month, from your first conversation with Ford to recent events, your life has changed 180 degrees, so it's no surprise that your psyche gave a little glitch.

You've comforted yourself with routines though — setting Grapes up with a friend until your next visit to London, inviting your parents over for dinner to tell you all the details, packing your suitcase for the tour, checking out all the technical stuff, and almost forgetting what kind of adventure you're packing for.

And now, without any idea of the nearest future, you were sitting in a black Mercedes Sprinter between Marcus and James Kerr, Ben was in the passenger seat in front, Steven was riding with the group in the bus. It was only 8 am, you were sleepy, only at the last moment you didn’t forget to remove eye patches before going out, you didn’t even put on makeup, so you sat in the wide sunglasses, even though the sun wasn't visible through the tinted windows of the car.

It seemed that everyone was relaxed, easily communicated with each other and knew exactly what each would do upon arrival at the venue. Unlike you. The schedule was pretty clear - check-in at the hotel, lunch, departure for the soundcheck and then free time for the management and the band, but very busy time for the technicians. Of all this, the most sensible thing was to drink plenty of wine at dinner and walk around the rest of the day in a relaxed state of mind, but those were only pitiful thoughts of creeping fear. Deep inside you were sure that everything would be fine, it couldn’t be otherwise, because even if you didn’t know how to do this or that task, the guys knew their duties, and they physically couldn’t play the concert badly.

"Hey, Y/N, you kinda took working with us too seriously" Marcus snapped you out of your thoughts with his mocking tone.

"I'm sorry, what?" you asked, turning to him.

He touched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and chuckled. It took you another couple of seconds to figure out what he meant, so he took advantage of your confusion to explain "you now going to wear glasses in the dark as well?"

The reference to Alex was read transparently, so you imperceptibly flinched and pointedly removed them, as if not wanting to be associated with him at all.

"No, no, I just didn't have time to do my make up" you honestly admitted, shrugging your shoulders ingenuously.

"Oh, I'm sorry, we-" the guy looked around at all the passengers, "we don't understand this here"

You laughed slightly, at the same time relaxing, and asked him a question that had been of interest to you for a long time.

"Why don't you have women in the team? I mean at all"

Instead of Marcus, Ben decided to answer from the front seat, apparently as the eldest among you.

“It didn’t happen on purpose, but later it became kind of unspoken rule. We are here like on the fishing, you know? We leave our wives, spend time within our male company, it’s like an alternative branch of your life, you do quality work here, you feel needed, while no one owe you nothing and you feel absolutely free in your actions, understanding thoroughly those who are around you"

"Are you aware that this is how a normal team should work, regardless of gender? It sounds somehow sexist. Am I really embarrassing you in actions?" you smiled slyly, anticipating the denouement.

"Actually, besides you, we have 3 other women in the team.." Marcus embarrassingly chipped in.

"Guys, don't bother yourself with excuses, I knew who I was messing with" you laughed, crossing your legs. Marcus looked at you dumbfounded, but said nothing, and James just chuckled softly at the window.

"Well, if you knew that, then you also should know about our tradition, right, guys?" Ben began in a conspiratorial tone, exchanging glances with the guys.

"Um, about what?" you arched an eyebrow in disbelief.

"The newbie is signed up for the after-party. Tonight is your first concert, and after that we go to the bar, the drinks are off you! We're equal here" Ben imperturbably continued to scan your reaction with a fox-eye, waiting for an answer. It's not that you're greedy or unable to pay, but to buy drinks for the whole team...

And as if ahead of your question, the man added "enough management and the band".

As if it changed the essence. But you couldn't refuse, so you mumbled something affirmative, getting a roar of male hoarse laughter in response, and starting to laugh at yourself. You appreciated in people, especially males, this ability - to make a woman laugh. In a time of constant change and stress, finding someone who will make you forget about it was very important.

The rest of the road was spent in the same good mood, and these conversations did help you to forget about your anxiety due to upcoming events. Upon arrival, all the management team and the band settled in the hotel. As James promise, you've been given a private suite overlooking the most beautiful park in the city center. But due to an unknown coincidence, you lived not on the same floor with the attendants, but through the door from the group.

Matt carried your things to your room and you agreed to meet for lunch in 20 minutes.

Since you were able to miraculously did a make up even in the car, thanks to the sensitive driving, now you decided to change into more presentable clothes in which you will be at the concert.

Without changing the habit of choosing clothes carefully and for a long time, you took off your hot sweatshirt, remaining in only sweatpants and starting to go through the whole suitcase in search of those things that would match your mood. You had a couple of looks planned, but today's unexpectedly warm weather changed your plans a little, so you confidently took out a black leather skirt and a white blouse.

A piece of matter fit all your forms perfectly, so you were satisfied with the choice, spinning in front of the mirror by the bed. The black bodice harmonized perfectly with the skirt, and the crazy idea of ​​staying only in it, without putting on anything, flashed through your head like a bullet, but flew out just as quickly as soon as you heard the muffled thud of heels on the carpet outside the door and a muttered "Jamie?" at your door followed by a knock. You hysterically shouted "No!" exactly at the moment when the door opened without a click.

"Shit, Y/N!" Alex, not having time to properly enter your room, but having clearly noticed you in a compromising way, abruptly recoiled, remaining in the corridor, but not completely closing the door so that he could hear you, but not see.

"God! What a mess" you pleaded, rushing to the door. You stuck out only your head, meeting the eyes of the musician, who was discomposedly staring at you point-blank.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Why are you naked?"

You asked at the same time, shouting over each other.

"This is my room! And I'm not naked!"

"Where's Jamie? I thought he was at 312" Turner asked, a little bewildered, clearly embarrassed.

"I have no idea where Jamie is. How did you even get in?" you were still half-dressed, hiding most of your body behind a wooden door.

"I knocked, but it turned out that it was not slammed at all"

"What the fuck? Maybe Matt didn't close when he left," you muttered more to yourself. You clearly saw the question “What did Matt do here?” that arose in Alex’s head, but which he never voiced. Clearly realizing that the dialogue could not be continued in this form, you abruptly switched the subject, trying to tear his eyes from your neck.

 "I was changing for dinner anyway, so see you there" you sharply slammed the door in front of him, not wanting to go into details, and tiredly leaned your head against the wooden surface from the inside.

"Crazy" you heard quiet along with receding soft steps.

It was your only meaningful conversation with the singer, since that evening. You understood that it couldn’t go on like this for a long time, but at the moment you didn’t have any ideas how to fix the situation. So you just finally put on the look you chose, after checking that the door was locked, then decided to add a black headband, and being satisfied with your appearance, went downstairs.

After lunch, the whole team went to the stadium, where the technicians had already set up half of the equipment. The guys immediately went to the sound check, and you and Steven went to meet Ashton Gate management. It seemed like there was still plenty of time before the concert, and you thought you would have a few more chances to double-check everything, but in the turmoil that was going on behind the scenes, this turned out to be impossible.

To be honest, you were overwhelmed by what was happening. The soft music, people around, the sun rays moving towards the sunset - this whole scene that was unfolding before you as you unexpectedly stepped onto the empty stage a few minutes before the crowd was let into the stadium looked surreal and incredibly familiar, as if you had been here many times before. The noise and chaos behind you contrasted with the tranquility in front of your eyes. The empty space that was about to be filled with a crowd in just a few minutes brought both excitement and serenity. These were the moments that seemed unreal, but made life worth living.

***

The show was about to start, and you stood next to the dark staircase, where the guys from the dressing room were soon to come up. Leaning on the railing, you nervously twirled a lock of hair around your finger. You went through all the items on the checklist in your head, checking off each one mentally, but something still bothered you.

Alex.

Your unfinished conversations and evasive behavior were weighing on you. You felt guilty, knowing that as his manager, you had behaved tactlessly, driven by emotions. It ate at you from the inside. You decided that you would talk to him today, apologize and put this issue to rest once and for all.

Suddenly you noticed a flickering light from the security, which meant that the group is entering the stage, and you turned sharply, both wanting and fearing to see them. As always, looking luxurious, these four men made their way up to the platform, remaining unnoticed by the audience.

"Good luck, guys! I'm buzzing as hell honestly" you tried to sound confident, but your voice trembled on the last word.

"Miss Y/S, is it just me or are you worried about us?" Nick lightly touched your shoulder in a reassuring gesture.

"Well, it's my first time with you" realizing how ambiguous that sounded, you interrupted yourself with a laugh.

"Oh, you'll love it, babe" Matt mimicked a voice from a cheap adult movie, tossing a stick in the air. It seemed like he could find the right words in any situation, and in the future, you would highly appreciate this skill.

All this time, you were glancing at Alex out of the corner of your eye, trying to read his emotions, but he calmly adjusted the folds on his unchanging dark blue jacket and stretched his neck with turns left and right. Seeing that the guys had moved a little away from you, you looked at your watch, estimating that you had 5 minutes maximum, and whispered to yourself "now or never".

"Alex!" you called him out loudly, trying to outshout the crowd "I wanted to talk, I know it's not the most appropriate time, but-"

"Y/N, forgive me, okay," the man unexpectedly began, barely approaching you. For the first time, you saw genuine excitement in his eyes, here, in the darkness of the backstage area of a 30,000-seat stadium. For some reason, only now you clearly feel the difference in height between you two. He looked down at you patronizingly. Maybe it was because of his heels or the knot of nerves in your stomach that made you feel so small in your attempt to hide from his penetrating gaze.

"I've been a complete jerk and acted childish from the very beginning. You didn't do anything to deserve such treatment. I don't want our tension to affect the group and our work in any way, so I admit my guilt"

You stood in shock, slightly opening your mouth. You absolutely did not expect such a turn of events, so your entire improvised speech evaporated from your mind instantly. He suddenly smiled softly, raising an eyebrow, as if asking 'well, what now?' Still not believing what you heard, you nodded your head almost automatically.

"Y-yes, you were a jerk indeed. But I also didn't behave entirely correctly, my first impression wasn't great either," you sighed in frustration, recalling your memories, "I suggest we start over, huh? Hi, my name is Y/N, I'm your new tour manager, nice to meet you" and to confirm your words, you gracefully extended your hand to him.

"Nice to meet you too, I'm Alex Turner, sort of singing here," he shook your hand with an energetic movement. His palm was dry and steady, causing a pleasant warmth throughout your body, "just business then?"

"Just business indeed. And a little bit of music" you said, more relaxed, smiling with all 32 teeth, still holding onto his hand.

"Deal, Miss Y/S"

For a moment, the roar of fans faded away for you, and you only saw the outlines of his pupils in the semi-darkness and his fingers firmly holding yours. However, your fragile moment was promptly ruined by-

"Al, c'mon!" Jamie impatiently called, and your hand felt the gusts of wind instead of calloused skin of the frontman. You watched him walk away in his waddle manner, as he suddenly turned and shouted, winking "By the way, nice lace".

 It took you a couple of seconds to understand what was said, and when the meaning of his words reached you, you exclaimed in indignation "You, motherfucker!" almost stomping your foot, but your cry was lost in the wild roar of the crowd, as the guys were already on stage.

It was a miraculous sight. Four men made people go into ecstasy just with their appearance - this is the phenomenon of the Beatles, and they were proof that rock and roll is alive. As long as they are alive. Every strum on the guitar strings, every touch of the lips to the microphone, every drumstick strike, every hair flip was special in their performance, they themselves were special.

You were fascinated, to say the least. When the performance came to the last song before the encore, Body Paint, one of your favorite songs from the album, that was definitely made to be played live, you were out of words. The whole song built you up to the climax, to the outro that every time was a pure jamming and improvisation. And you literally exploded in ecstasy when Alex started walking around the stage, unable to stand still from the knocking down energy. He closed his eyes in languor, biting his lips, screaming, throwing out his arms, and you couldn't take your eyes off. You weren't dancing or jumping, you were inseparably watching his every movement, arms folded across your chest. Your mouth was agape against your will, and your eyes eagerly punched a hole in the frontman. This is a unique performance, it's something that is hard to explain without feeling it for yourself. You were made up of his music, you literally felt these waves inside your veins, your brain wasn't able to comprehend what was happening, it was like a catharsis for all of you. And you definitely didn't want to be saved.

Suddenly Alex turned his head to your side, continuing to play some divine riff outlining the Van Gogh fields on the guitar strings. His hair was tousled, shirt unbuttoned, but his jacket fitted perfectly. He rested his eyes on your figure, smiling with one corner of his lips, and you looked at each other for good seven seconds which felt like eternity. You were sure that everything was clear in your eyes, and even if he stood next to you and heard you, you wouldn't be able to utter a word.

What you definitely didn't expect when your eye contact was broken and Alex walked to another side of the stage, that tears would involuntarily flow from your eyes. "What the hell..." you wondered aloud, quickly removing the salty tracks from your cheeks. In fact, you perfectly understood why you were crying. From a sense of greatness. The greatness of music, human synergy and the power of unity. It was too much for you, too strong emotions to bear. It was excellent, it was the taste of life, thanks to which you still were here. "God, if you exist, bless this band, they are saints" although it sounded ridiculous and naive, you seriously were ready to pray for the talent of these guys, for the ability to make other people feel alive. You were in your place, you did everything right, you were cruising the victory. Today he convinced you.

As soon as the last chords of "RU Mine?" were played and the bows to the fans were taken, the men disappeared from the deafening roar behind the dark curtains of backstage. Their hair stuck to their sweat faces, and a distinct masculine smell was coming from their shirts. The guys passed by you with exhausted smiles, unable to utter a word from fatigue, and disappeared into the darkness of the corridors.

You didn't know what to do right now. According to your understanding, your job didn't end with pre-concert organization, there were also post-concert tasks to be done. But you were so lost in emotions that you felt like you were drifting away from an anaphylactic shock.

Unexpectedly, Tyler came to you as he was the last one to come off the stage. He fraternally put a hand on your shoulder, tousling your hair with his heavy palm.

"Well, with the initiation into our hell, sweetheart. How're you?"

"Thrilled, and I want more!" you declared confidently, matching his quick pace that was pulling you further away from the frenzy of the crowd.

"Well, don't doubt that, it's just the beginning" he charmingly smiled, and you couldn't help but mirror his expression.

"Now we're going to celebrate, and you're coming with us" it sounded so authoritative that even if you wanted to object, you immediately closed your mouth, nodding in agreement. "Besides, seems like you need to unwind" you remembered.

You left the stadium only an hour later, apparently, it was a normal time for the guys to "recover". You'd made several jokes about one woman waiting for seven men and received offended and teasing looks in return. You got into the same Mercedes you arrived in that morning, and the driver took you to one of Bristol's typical English pubs that the guys loved so much.

You didn't understand their fondness for these quaint places where the sofa upholstery hadn't changed along with the owner. There were so many modern bars in the city, any of which the band could afford to rent entirely, but they paid tribute to traditions, obviously cherishing memories of their lively youth when they started playing their first concerts in similar places. Such a return to their roots after the thousands-capacity stadiums grounded them well. And the warm nostalgia, slipping across the Guinness glasses every time, was a corner of genuine joy for the guys, the only true luxury they possessed.

And overall, you didn't care where to spend money or on what. After all today's events, which felt like a whole month, you didn't mind anymore. In the morning, you looked at your apple orchard in the early mist of suburban London, then stood half-naked in a five-star hotel room in front of a world-renowned music star, and now, in the evening, you huddled next to him on an old leather couch under a red velvet chandelier, drinking a B-52.

Glasses, shots and colorful bottles flashed in front of your eyes like a kaleidoscope. Your head was spinning from the amount of alcohol, and your cheeks hurt from laughter.

"My dear mates, I propose a toast to Miss Y/S and her first concert with us! I don't know if she understands where she has ended up, but we'll make sure she has a great time with us, right, guys? To Y/N!" Matt solemnly proclaimed, rising from the table, and 8 hands, pouring drinks onto each other, reached towards the center of the table to clink glasses.

"Guys, thank you for this opportunity, thanks to James for his unplanned vacation, thanks to Steven and Marcus-" although the latter wasn't here, you decided to thank him as he had been providing you with all kinds of help during these weeks, "for their support and adaptation, and of course, to you Monkeys, for accepting me. I do like your crazy Monkey house" you joked, but it didn't negate the truth. Despite all the past disagreements with the lead singer, you felt that you were still doing everything right. And even if you hadn't gone on this adventure today, you would still feel grateful to fate for such an opportunity to be at the center of life.

"Glad to hear that," Jamie chuckled ironically, "as they say, welcome aboard"

And with these words, you all whistled, and Tom even shouted like a saloon girl from the Wild West. Your evening, or rather the night, continued until 3 am, fortunately there was no concert the next day, so you could at least sleep in a bit. You looked in horror at the amount you had drunk, trying to estimate how long it would take to recover the contents of your wallet. But you had consumed so much gin and tonic that the only thing that really worried you was how to walk straight for at least 2 meters to the bar to pay for it all.

"Drinks on me!" you declared with a mischievous smile to the group as you headed towards the bar counter.

"What, for everyone?" Matt playfully refined.

"Well, yeah," you didn't have the energy to realize his surprise, but he also didn't have the energy to argue with you, "that's no problem".

And thus, the following events spun in your head like a foggy whirlpool. Here you were finally breathing in the fresh air of the street, tilting your head towards the purple sky, then you were half-lying on someone's shoulder in the black minivan, and finally for no reason you were walking barefoot on a soft hotel carpet, but there were no shoes in your hands as well.

You didn't have any memories of walking into your room either. But in the moment, the feeling of soft snow-white hotel sheets flooded your body with long-awaited bliss. You instantly fell into the arms of Morpheus, only on the verge of consciousness noticing that someone took off the headband from your hair, which had been squeezing your head tightly, and silently closed the door.

You may be too drunk to remember each of your actions clearly, but you definitely wouldn't mistake the familiar scent of cigarettes in the room.

---------------------------------------------------

A/N: Oh, so much has happened in one chapter, and this is just the beginning of the tour... I decided to tell the background of Y/N for a better understanding of her actions. What do you think, maybe you want more of "Italian friends" in the work? Whose line do you want to read in more detail? Share your emotions, it is incredibly valuable to me that someone reads this work actually!

xo🤍

Taglist: @missbabyjay @rentskenobi @findmeincorneliastreet @indierockgirrl here it is!

*if you want to be removed or added to the taglist, feel free to ask me!

[joelmmd]

finished getting over it with bennett foddy

i quite liked it. the narrative around the game is a bit reductive, which makes me more mad then the game ever did. but i'll talk about the actual game itself first.

it's about climbing a mountain. you can only move by pushing and pulling yourself against the landscape with a hammer, done with the mouse. the mountain is intentionally designed with the idea that making a mistake can lead to you falling down the mountain and losing progress.

the controls sound a lot worse then they feel. you get the hang of it pretty fast, or at least the basics. you can kinda just swing the mouse clockwise or reversa to move right or left. climbing like this, when the layout is simple and easy, actually feels really good. i feel like if the game wasn't hard at all it'd still be fun to just scale the mountain.

of course, the game is hard, and part of that is because of these controls. as you go higher up the mountain, you're expected to do more and more precise movements. but the controls are really granular, and it makes it hard to reliably and consistently move your guy the way you want. even after you figure out, generally, what to do to get past a certain part, executing that still requires a level of precision that's hard to meet with these controls.

and i'm lead to believe this is the point? while you climb, bennett foddy does some narration about this game and video games in general. and in a part of this narration, he praises the Sexy Hiking game he really likes for basically having accomplished this first, that in that game every obstacle is "real" because you're never fully confident that you can get past it, even if you already have.

and i think this aspect is why everything in getting over it with bennett foddy works. older games where losing all your lives means starting from the absolute beginning aren't just frustrating because that means a loss of (possibly significant) progress, but also because getting back to where you were isn't that engaging. you already know what to do, and you feel like you can just do it again. you often start checking out, and that leads to dying in stupid places, and then you just get fed up with the game and stop caring.

but in getting over it with bennett foddy, you can get sent back to an earlier obstacle and still really struggle with it. the challenge isn't gone, you haven't really conquered it just by getting past a couple of times. so what's ordinarily a tedious and frustrating experience in a lot of other games ends up being engaging.

part of this is because the game never* truly sends you back to the beginning. the furthest back you'll ever be sent *with one exception is the part right after the first mound. it's a bit of a technicality, but it kinda does help. more meaningfully, there are also pseudo-checkpoints in the mountain that are designed to catch you if you fall from certain places. it's a meaningful concession that does make the game less frustrating and more enjoyable. and while the game is made to be frustrating it's never a dick about it. except for the bats thing. it would've been easy to make the player mad by trolling them or making the game unfair or putting in some fuck you moments. but the game's pretty good about that.

which is why i resent the general populous labeling this a "rage game". it's dismissive of everything the game does to keep it fun and engaging. it likens getting over it with bennett foddy to the impossible quiz. this shit's not the impossible quiz. it's not just something streamers play to farm clips. it's good!

it's not even that infuriating. i'm no stoic or anything, i frustrate very easily. like, 30 seconds into round 1 of a fighting game. and i never found myself angry at getting over it with bennett foddy. and i know people do get mad at it. and i dont know if that's just a human experience thing or what. i always felt like the game was fair, and that it was respecting you as a player.

the frustrating thing for some people might be bennett foddy himself? i can understand trying to do a video or a stream and getting annoyed when there's this voiceover you have to either tune out to talk over or just let happen. and part of it's probably the quotes. those might be intentionally annoying. i hope. it'd tie into the whole "B-philosophy" thing bennett foddy mentions, and they aren't super meaningful otherwise. i'd be confused if it was genuine attempts at being deep or whatever.

since the rest of the narration was pretty meaningful. there were a couple of things here that resonated with me and really should've sparked some discussion in gaming spheres. but they didn't. probably because of how many people saw it as just a rage game where you tried to get to the top of the mountain and bennett foddy annoys you on the way.

especially the whole thing about gamers just wanting satisfaction. some tricks for the clicks of the feckless and all that. you saw it in the past with walking simulators being chastised for not being interactive enough and thus not having value, and you see it today with people bitching and moaning any time they make a female character who isn't hot. they so fervently argue for games to be considered an artform, but don't want art. because art can be challenging. i guess it shouldn't be very surprising that Gamers weren't great at engaging with a difficult and pretty unconventional game with a metanarrative about how we engage with video games as a whole.

that's about all i have to say. i had a fun time with getting over it with bennett foddy, and i think it's well made. and it frustrates me to see the game dismissed as a rage game for youtubers. it's something really special, and i'm glad it exists. maybe we didn't deserve it.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

I actually came to tumblr to post this for a project I am doing, but I thought whilst I am here I might as well discuss 'Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man'.

I am judging purely off the trailer so who knows maybe the show will be decent, but then a trailer is supposed to entice you into watching. Regardless, I highly doubt I am going to give it a chance if for no other reason than Disney has already done a bad job with Spider-Man at least twice before since 2012.*

Like, I honestly do not think the fandom fully appreciates how MUCH of a travesty Ultimate Spider-man (2012) was. I remember speaking a lot about it when it was on air so I won't go into full details. The gist of it is that it utterly sold out fundamentally on everything that defined Spider-Man as a character. For the show to do that on Spider-Man's 50th anniversary and act as a promotional vehicle for the MCU basically was salt in the wound; other than Spectacular Spider-Man (2008) dying so that piece of shit could exist.

Spider-Man (2017) was comparatively less bad but still VERY bad, marinated in Slott slop as it was with ugly character designs and awful animation to boot. Say what you want about the animation of the 1994 cartoon, but there were times they really pulled it off and unlike the 2017 cartoon, they didn't have Daddy Disney funding them.

And now this, which is essentially warmed up left overs from Spider-Man: Homecoming, which may have been a good movie, but was absolutely a horrific adaptation of Spider-Man as a character. Once more selling out the principles of the character Lee and Ditko imbibed him with. Which isn't a surprise. Marvel as an institution haven't understood Spider-Man for maybe 25-30 years now, even if sporadic individual writers have.

The costume looks ugly, and now even in a way that is maybe fun, like you could see how it might yet evolve into the classic Spider-Man outfit the way you could with the Raimi wrestling outfit or even the Homecoming outfit.

We have Norman Osborn making Spider-Man's suit for him because God forbid we do a modern Spider-Man origin where he does that himself.

We got the Future Foundation suit, which granted, looks cool but is divorced from the FF storyline where it had any meaning.

We have Peter maybe being a streamer, which if that happens it is a pathetic Boomer approach to modernising him being a photographer.

We got ugly looking animation that is honestly worse looking than the 2003 MTV cartoon by Mainframe Entertainment.

We got cringe modern dialogue.

We have Peter calling his aunt 'May', rather than Aunt May. Which is disrespectful and gross to me, but also plain weird. Miles Morales is out here saying 'Uncle Aaron' but Peter Parker isn't saying 'Aunt May' anymore? It isn't a modernisation thing, it is again a biproduct of this being leftovers from Homecoming, where they intentionally (and grossly) framed Aunt May more as a big sister.

And we have, honestly the biggest problem for me, which is the voice of Peter Parker. Four. Disney legit miscast Peter Parker's voice four times in a row! I will give them a pass for Spidey and his Amazing Friends, but even them we have still done a trilogy. There are no end of examples in cartoons and video games of people doing a good Peter Parker vocal performance. If you didn't want to just hire any of them then at least use them as a starting point for the type of voice you are looking for. This guy at best sounds generic.

And as for the race swapping, it is eye-rolling because of who specifically they chose to swap out and the obvious hair-related reasons as to why. On a slight tangent, in some early reprints of the Ditko comic books Norman, back when he was an unnamed background character, was recoloured to be black by mistake. So technically this has comic book precedence.

*I haven't seen Spidey and his Amazing Friends.

[weebsinstash]

I'm actually so relieved I brought Allister in because one of my biggest fears was that he wasn't eating enough, because he would be slowly picking at his breakfasts and dinners and the portions, visually, seem small, and the vet let me know he actually gained a little bit of weight since his last appointment and that he looks and acts super healthy 😭❤️ I was so worried he wasn't getting enough food in his body but I need to keep reminding myself the portions of food he's getting now may not look like much but he's getting a lot more calories than he was getting before with the wet food, so even if he isn't licking his plate clean, he's technically still eating more than he used to eating his previous meals in entirety

It sounds like basically what the vet strongly believes this is is, he's just still adjusting to his new diet, because if you guys remember, he was eating wet food before, and uh, kind of portions that I found out were too small, like a 'he was potentially not getting enough daily calories' kind of mistake, so he's had this gradual dietary change of me increasing his portions over time, and on top of that, all the added fiber was occasionally giving him gas, but I can tell he's adjusting to it and it's a lot better now (he let loose some NASTY ass last night while he was in my lap but at least I'm not jolting awake in the middle of the night worried he's had an accident anymore)

I'm super happy because it kind of feels like. This is finally confirmation he's out of the red and he's going to be doing good from now on. I just have to make sure he doesn't gain too much weight and they told me a way to weigh him could be weighing myself and then weighing myself holding him, which I feel stupid for not thinking of before but I didn't realize that would work 😅 they said it sounds super good that he's having regular poops just with his cisapride and that it was totally OK and even recommended that I wasn't giving him stool softeners or laxatives anymore because that was just more stuff that could make him queasy, so I'm also glad I called that right

This vet in particular also said, sometimes certain animals are just social eaters and est better with company and I definitely see this in Allister (I think it's a combo of anxiety and being bullied by other cats in the past) and she says since he's in a single kitty home there's no need to worry about "letting him graze" and leaving his food down all day if he doesn't want to eat the entire portion right away and that some cats are kind of just "snackers" and that's perfectly ok

Oh and also oh my gosh, I could cry, so, there are multiple vets at this clinic, right, and the one I'm seeing today is one I haven't seen before, but. She's the first one to tell me she actually disagrees with the idea that, if Allister were to need another cystotomy, another bladder stone removal, that she disagrees that he would be too old to have any more. I know medicine can be subjective but I'm really happy to hear her say it actually wouldn't be entirely impossible for him to have that surgery again in an emergency, more so that the risk increases over time. It just really takes a lot of stress off my mind because these damn oxalate stones are like, the boogeyman waiting to pop back up again, you know? The type he has can't be dissolved once they're around but they're easier to prevent, so.... it's just. . I finally have him in this environment where i can get him the exact care he needs and I'm happy to know that he won't be taken away from me due to how my mom was feeding him before. I can finally, fully protect and care for my baby exactly how he needs and how i want to

They also gave me some tips on how I can give Allister this one powdered supplement he takes for his stones that I haven't been able to give him with his dry food. They say as long as he's eating his prescription diet 99% of the time, giving him snacks or other things that are outside of those dietary requirements should be fine, so there are things I can give him to put these powdered vitamins in like the squeezy tubes or pill pockets for cats, so im also really glad to have that questioned answered

Sigh! In a happy way, with relief. Having him seen today took longer than it was supposed to because they were so busy they couldn't see me until an hour after I was scheduled but the overall cost isn't anything at all and it brought me such peace of mind. I'm so relieved. I'm gonna go home and have a nice drink and maybe play some video games or something with my little baby boy in my lap ❤️

[spacedlexi]

Wait, people think Carver is the best TWDG villain?? I always thought he was basic as hell, and the fact that he was beefing with an 11-years old girl... Now Stranger on the other hand was great, he was super intimidating and off-putting and I was genuinely so scared he would hurt Clementine. I also liked Minnie for the same reasons (she was so creepy/off-putting), but I still think Stranger is the best villain bc he had a great setup while Minnie was kind of a secondary villain. But going back to Lilly/Carver, I also definitely prefer Lilly over Carver even though neither are my favorite... And now I'm kind of curious how you would rank the rest of the TWDG villains? 🤔

carver being the best villain is a sentiment ive heard for years 😭 im sure its coming from the "S2 is the best season" crowd tho which i also dont agree with 💀

the stranger is an effective villain. hes not exactly the typical villain type people expect. but hes very unsettling and him stalking clementine for who even knows how long through the walkie talkie is 🤢 he really makes me feel sick. she was using that talkie to deal with the loss of her parents, and this fucking creep took advantage of that so hard he was able to convince her to trust him. ugh he makes me feel so gross. and think of all the guilt clem must have about that situation. trusting this freak to help her find her parents, when if she had just stayed then lee wouldnt have gotten bit looking for her, and her parents were already dead the entire time anyway. oof. theres no way that isnt one of the biggest regrets of her life

carver is fine. i definitely think his character wouldve made more sense if they put kenny in that role instead. that way theres less "i am a grown man beefing with an 11 year old" and more "this is a child i helped look out for once, and im gonna make sure shes raised Right". but i agree that carver as he is is just over the top. overly villainous to the point of it being a little comical. like when villains are all tough like that my reaction is usually "god i WISH youd fucking kill me already so i dont have to hear your bullshit anymore do you know how GOOFY you sound??". if it was kenny in that role i definitely think they wouldve been able to tone it back a bit, and him "having a good side" wouldve been way more believable. as he is carver is kind of one note

joan.... definitely the weakest of the bunch. i dont really have much to say about her. david isnt even technically a villain but i definitely saw him as the better antagonist for the season. i mean hes definitely a villain in clems eyes. and is a constant semi-antagonist towards javi throughout the whole season. joans just kinda.. there.. doing things behind the scenes to cause conflict until the final confrontation. and then she can just disappear... okay

i like the way the antagonists work in S4. theres more of a discussion around what actually makes someone a villain and the difference between a person who fucked up and made (very horrible) mistakes, and a person who is straight up a threat. and i like that it connects back to the idea of lee and his murder of that senator. did he do something horrible? yes. did he destroy his relationship to his family? yes. does he regret what he did? i think so. and he definitely has guilt about his fucked up relationship with his wife. in S1 they mention how non-guilty people got sent to prison all the time. while lee is Definitely a murderer, we get to see over the season that hes a good guy who just wanted a family and in a moment of rage and betrayal did something he can never take back. this is why i never hated marlon. did he fuck up and do horrible things? of course. but he was a scared fucked up teen leading a group of other scared fucked up teens. he knows he fucked up, and continued fucking up to cover for his previous fuck ups lol. but he can be talked down. its a shame it ends the way it does, but i really like being able to teach aj the difference between people like marlon and people like lilly

lilly takes that kenny/carver idea and applies it to a clementine that has grown up and has been looking out for herself (and baby aj) for years now, instead of the 11 year old trying to figure shit out she was in S2. shes too old for lilly to be able to sway her in a way she couldve been more susceptible to in S2, and when lilly finally realizes this she just turns her attention to aj instead, seeing the potential in him (a potential clem does NOT want aj to live up to, wanting him to get to be a kid and not just a survivor, let alone a killer). lilly is fun because you can see in her that she WANTS clementine on her side, and throughout the season progressively realizes that its just never going to happen. both lilly AND clem come to the realization that this person they once considered family is beyond reason, their views too different, and so the fighting begins. their fight at the end of EP3 really feels like a "so its finally come to this" moment for both of them, their final fight. i always shoot her.

whats interesting about minnie is seeing her evolve from secondary antagonist in EP3 to straight up primary villain in EP4. the things shes done, the way shes been broken. she becomes her own downfall, seeing herself as someone beyond redemption. that this is just who she is now, its how things have to be. because if they didnt have to be this way? well then theres a lot more guilt she'd have to deal with. yelling at her in EP4 to just STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THIS ANYMORE but she has been changed (in her eyes) so irreparably that she cant see any other option. and she progressively sees clem as the one who fucked everything up for her, instead of accepting that it could all finally be OVER. after killing sophie, the delta was all she had left. it cant have all been for nothing. and so she blames clem for taking it all away from her, even tho clem is just trying to protect her family. the family that used to be minnies. and so in her rage she gets bit. something else that she couldve avoided. but shes just too lost to her own downward spiral, unable to be reasoned with. by that point she just wants it all to be Over. and she wants to take tenn with her so she can finally pretend things can all go back to the way they used to be. her, sophie, tenn, and their parents all together again, where no more bad things have to happen to them. shes super tragic and i love her for that. and i love how she holds this dark mirror up to clem. clem struggles to let go of her past too, and the guilt she has over the things shes done and people shes hurt. and that if she cant learn to let go and move on she could get lost to it the same way minnie did. theres a reason clem is so quick to accept her fate, but shes finally able to leave that guilt holding her to her past behind in that barn. and she returns to ericson a much happier and lighter person, so much weight finally lifted from her shoulders. its finally over for her too

so yeah. my fave villains are definitely the S4 ones due to their nuance and layers. then the stranger, then carver, then joan. if i had to put david on this list he'd probably be above carver. but thats mainly because he has more nuance than carver ever did