#thinking of trying streaming tonight tbh

[kawareo]

Wait, english is your second language? So what is your native tongue?

Not feeling fully comfortable saying exactly where im from because it would narrow it down a lot, but I am a Slav! Had to learn english as a second language since middle school, but where I learnt it mostly was through reading and writting shitty fanfics during my entire high school years

It's very flattering when people can't tell! At least when I write - because it will definitely become more obvious once you hear me speak on stream lmao

[xxfangirl365xx]

alright kids, gather around. I have some things I'd like to say regarding last night in a very organized list format

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS

Overall It was beautiful. I cried watching the stream. But sadly went to bed before it was over because I was feeling very unwell from staying up so late ): I missed blood,I'm not ok and Helena on stream but that's ok <3

MCR5,NEW TOUR?

-Did not expect them to release anything about that last night since it was night one of two. More likely they would do it tonight so I'm holding out hope for tonight since it's the more likely option

SOCIALS/ONLINE PRESENCE/POSTS

-Frank has NOT posted anything regarding MCR only dunes, which is very unlike him. As we know Frank loved MCR to death. He's the no 1 fan of his own band so I find it odd and very intentional that he has not posted anything about MCR at wwwyf only dunes

-along the same lines Mikey has not posted anything. Few weeks ago we got practice from him which was good, but all we have from him r 2 pics of him and his wife which r adorable, but not relating to MCR. also seems a little intentional to not have said anything about them playing at all

-MCR'S socials r DRY like bone dry. With swarm tour they posted things about "tonight were playing in (blank) at (blank time)" or something like that but they didn't post anything about WWWYF apart from when tickets went on sale for both days which is a little odd in my opinion

for all of them the silence seems ominous. Like they r trying to build suspense

OUTFIT'S, STAGE,GEE'S HAIR

-All black outfits head to toe, they looked good but it was very lacking black parade tbh (not a bad thing they looked so cute tho)

-STAGE-

-Only projections of spiders,tree (during cancer),swords,bridge (?),worms (?)

-SPIDERS PROJECTED

-swarm logo=fly

-spiders= eat flies

-"Witch" was leaked earlier this year. Paper kingdom was the album meant to come right after black parade. Their aesthetic kinda similar. Whites,blacks ect.

-some of the visuals like the swords was giving very paper kingdom 100% and if I rly did see a bridge projection in the background that's also very much the vibe. but most this stuff was done in short flashes across the backdrop

-Gee's hair-

-New haircut (stunning btw)

-new era? Gee had changed his hair for new era's. bullets/revenge it stayed pretty much the same apart from random dye jobs here and there but during black parade he got it real short and bleached it. Danger days ht dyed it red. hair is a big thing when it comes to Gee.

-New hair since shrine show (2019) pretty much. He's had long hair since MCR has come back together. U could argue it was to look nice but think about all the other stuff he's done that was also a big deal like umbrella acad final season and stuff. Why didn't he get a haircut then? Why now? and why was he hiding it?

-The last vid we got was earlier in the week the birthday one and he had the long hair still. It was recent like he did this JUST for the shows.

-i'm 100% taking this is a way of moving into a new era for MCR

MERCH

-some people were kinda bummed there was no new cool merch from the festival apart from the DEAD! zip up which is pretty cool ngl

-kinda looked like they were trying to get rid of older stuff before making something new perhaps?

-spending more time and resources on NEW shirts for a NEW album makes more sense than spending all the time and resources on designing new shirts for black parade when they can do that pretty much any time

HOPES FOR TONIGHT'S SHOW

I will not be staying up this time sorry guys. I slept 4 hours last night and feel very unwell from it. So i'll be sleeping tonight sadly but here is my hopes and predictions for tonight.

-MCR will play just like last night with the visuals and stuff but will maybe play one new song or announce it some how with the backdrop and "Paper Kingdom" will be announced to be released on OCT. 31

-Their socials will go live with all the info immediately

-Shortly after the album comes out there will be tour dates announced for spring/summer of 2025 INCLUDING warped tour

-END-

thanks for listening to my rambles if I think of more i'll add it to the list but I wanted a cohesive place to put all my findings and thoughts to share

[notahorseindisguise]

no actually i have more to say because how come i was just trying to go to sleep snd my brain was like "youd have more friends if.you were a girl" like thats fucking CRAZYYY . is that true. tbh i feel like if i came out as a girl that would complicate a lot of peoples relationships with me in a way that i dont need because as ive previously said most of those relationships are already near nonexistant. and like the facts are i don't think im anywhere NEAR a place where i could even attempt being a girl because i would need a friend group beforehand. slso i want to scknowledge before my own self hatred calls me out for being a liar by omitting the truth that i pushed away some of my best friends in the world who ere very supportive and definitely would have snd did support me exploring my gender because i was s cunt and i hurt my best friend in the world. and so thats my fault entirely. and thats okay like it fucking sucks but i can accept blame and i can grow up from it which is what ive done but id feel like a liar if i didnt acknowledge that i did in fact sabotage my most important,.longest running friendship. anyways. god we're getting VERY stream of consciousness tonight

[statementlou]

Hi, how was your show!!!??

Thank you for asking! It was great, OBVIOUSLY. I saw Louis play a short set in late 2019, but was not able to go to Walls tour, so this was my first time at a proper tour show (in Berkeley last night) and it was brilliant! I have been trying to figure out what to say besides that though cause tbh there are two posts I want to make. So… both? First for my recap- it was so loud, like the music was just normal concert loud but I had to plug my ears against the screaming between songs cause it was way louder- I just figured it was the in person experience difference but no, Louis confirmed, “you guys have been so fucking loud in here tonight, it's actually been hard for me to hear” so GO US! The chokingly thick haze of weed smoke (“I already feel the energy, I already feel the love, I can already smell the weed,” he was not fucking kidding) to usher in HIC in California (and all the other songs lol) didn’t diminish the energy a bit! Truly, there is nothing like the energy of shared live music, and meeting eyes of other fans (through the trees) and sharing that excitement. And seeing actual physical unmediated Louis, just existing in space being a real live human, yeah. Something.

I was like I'm not gonna bother to take pictures or anything, I just want to dance and hear and look, everyone else's pics will be better anyway but then the TECH, you guys know how much I love the fucking aesthetic of this tour and the screens were SO PRETTY in real life!! So in fact I KEPT getting my phone out for that so like... good one tech crew, you got me. Look for many low quality aesthetic posts of the screens incoming, sorry not sorry. Common People was SO PRETTY, his voice was so clear and lovely and I'm so glad that's been added in. WDBHG went HARD live, holy shit, SO FUN (tho tbh me as Louis thinking I know all the words to that song but it turns out there are a lot? And I do not? At least I was in the best possible company fumbling and mumbling through parts.) Heartbroken I didn’t get Saturdays live (honestly the one song I think might have been my exception to the next thing I’m gonna say) but so thankful for BTM🖤

But part two of this post is to say that watching the livestreams with you all is also brilliant and special and also lets me experience the beauty of Louis’ voice and presence and connection and the feeling of experiencing something together. I wasn’t able to go last year, and I know some of you (many many thousands worldwide!) won’t be able to go this year either or maybe ever, and I know you are seeing the posts telling you there is nothing like being there and you can't really know or appreciate Louis/ Louis’ voice/ the experience unless you are there in person and it feels sad and I want to tell you that I have done the research now and I don’t think that is true. Most people who go to the show won’t have a Y/N moment and be Perceived by Louis or be at barricade, and I don’t think the experience we are having online together is less real or profound than the live experience. His voice sounded fucking gorgeous and soaring and I loved it, but even if you are there it is mediated by all kinds of tech; I imagine getting to be present for an acoustic performance really would be something that couldn’t be replicated but I think a really good live through a clear speaker or a nice quality show video is in fact just fine. Some of the songs did hit me harder in person and get my blood pumping in a different way, yes- but others I actually think I get a fuller experience of in a chiller more focused environment when everything isn’t flying by as quickly. Like I don’t think the megamix would impact the way it does (UGH I LOVE IT SO MUCH) if I just saw it live once and done, for example. Anyway I’m just saying if you can’t make your own (go to the show) store bought is fine (hang with us at stream time! or just whatever online content). While I never intend to watch every stream in fact I am usually right here and love to chat and squee with people, come hang out, or just watch some videos and enjoy the magic.

[3rddimension]

I'm the anon who wrote the body language thing, back two seconds later to respond to the person talking about the fear of being delusional.

Anon, we're in this together. 100% I get that. I got a spike of it when the "Somebody needs to wife Shayne up fr" confession came up on the stream tonight before Courtney immediately gave up the game with her reaction of pure confusion to it. With how she was so supportive of him dating during their "We're Bad At Dating" show a while back, you'd think if they weren't together she'd immediately be all over a confession of that nature.

Thing is, we obviously never know for sure until they confirm it(which is hopefully soon for my sanity's sake) but you gotta just keep in mind that good evidence is good evidence. Family photos are pretty damn bulletproof, even discounting all the other stuff.

I think all of us see Shourtney on screen and immediately jump to overanalyzing for clues, and when we seeing anything that slightly contradicts our pre-conceived notion of what happens off-screen, we lose our minds our a little bit.

It's important to remember that people had theories that Courtney and Shayne were secretly together back in like 2016 when they were both dating other people anyways, and those theories were cooked up off of the same evidence people are using to theorize about Courtney and SPENCER now. My point is that evidence against Shourtney is often unreliable, things like body language or that confession. Thing is, it's a lot easier to write excuses as to how that confession about Shayne ended up in there and a lot harder to excuse why Courtney was wearing Shayne's ASU sweatshirt or has a Broncos magnet on her fridge.

Hell, I can write excuses for that confession right now:

Somebody just wrote it as a confession of a crush to Shayne, regardless of whether they knew him and Courtney were together or not.

Somebody wrote it as an appreciation post for Shayne.

Somebody wrote it to jokingly fuck with Courtney, whether to just make her protective of her man or to try and pressure her towards engagement.4.

Somebody intentionally wrote it to throw off shippers.

A man wrote it, possibly for any combination of excuses 2, 3, or 4.

Again, my main point is, don't let it get to you. Keep a level head and be rational. Also, if you're ever really unsure, come here and I'm sure this community will already have a million excuses floating around for anything suggesting against Shourtney.

(Since this post wasn't spicy enough on it's own I also wanted to pose the question to the community of who y'all thought wrote the confession, just for fun. I think I would bet real-life money on it being Heidi.)

I think the number 2 is what's happening tbh. For the spicy answer I think it would be all the gen-z crew and Erin or Heidi is a good pick imo. lmfao

[ma3mae]

Welcome to my page 💞

Lmao nice, you found my page 🤡. Anyway I'm Mae and I've been here for quite some time tbh but with (sadly) plenty of hiatuses. Ppl originally came here for my story "Two worlds" (which im still working on, its just rly rly slow :((() but i started writing again bc ive finally caught up with bsd and it inspired me to start writing again in general! I'd love some requests but even if i dont get any, I'll still write some random hc's, stories and more bc i gotta use the motivation i have rn! Because of work i'll atleast try to upload smth every 2 days so yall in for smth (until my brain decides to shut off and not let me write again 💀) Anyway now onto my

Masterlist

Bungou Stray Dogs

-No one likes syringes! (hc with dazai, atsushi, kunikida, aku and chuuya)

-No brain, just horny! (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Fukuzawa) hc

-No brain, just horny! 2 (Chuuya, Akutagawa, Nikolai and a bit of fyodor) hc

- I feel like sleeping on the couch tonight! (hc and lowkey drabble with Fukuzawa, Ranpo and Tetchou)

- Don't be so annoyed, love! (hc Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo)

- Exams are a hassle! (Chuuya x Reader) oneshot

-In sickness and health (Chuuya x Reader) continuation of Exams are a hassle!

- Cherry Sweet Kiss! (Tetchou x Reader) oneshot

- Love has no bounds! (Knight! Tetchoux Princess! Reader) oneshot

- Don't be so antsy! (Tetchou x Reader) mix of hc and oneshot

Arcane

-how the characters would help you with an assignment! (caitlyn, jinx and vi)

- Arcane Story Masterlist "Two worlds"

-"Two worlds" moodboard

-short future story idea (jinx x reader)

Bsd: Majority of charas (the kids only platonic, pls no smut or smth with them or ill put u to jail 📸) not reading the manga so just a heads up if you request for charas that havent been seen in the anime yet! Also wont be writing about mori bc i c why ppl simp for him but i cant 😩 fyodor's also a bit tricky but i can try 🛐

HSR

- Hubby gets some help (IL Dan Heng x Reader x Blade) Drabble

Who I'll write for!

Demon Slayer: I still gotta watch season 2... Pls no nezuko romantically... I beg you 🛐

Arcane: everyone except heimerdinger and silco bc im not into yordles and... silco is silco..

Also some characters in from League of Legends in general but just ask which charas bc listing the ones i wont write for is just too long of a list 😐

Jjk: all charas but only from the anime bc.. im not reading the manga yet again...

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: All jojo's and their respective gangs! Also other supporting charas but just ask and ill say if i write for them, lol

-still debating about dio bc i get why ppl simp for him but man's legit traumatised many generations of one family and prob hundreds of other ppl 💀

Naruto: main cast and akatsuki lol, u can request side charas too but im not gonna count every one of them bc yeaaaaaaah too long

Final fantasy 7 : all main casts from all ff7 games

Kingdom hearts: Organisation 13 and main cast!

Honkai Star Rail: all playable characters! (kid charas only platonic 💕)

still gotta think which other series but tbh my brain can only keep track of like some while ive consumed over 100 or smth and the ones that i like were streamed 6-7 years ago or smth 😭😭😭😭 but im currently in a bsd brainrot so give plenty of request for that rn if u want to LOL

Have fun on my page yall ✋💅

[weebsinstash]

you know that agonizing, mortifying feeling when someone walks in on you doing something embarrassing

what about the torture of having someone barge in while you're changing

I can't stop thinking about the whole "Reader in Hell unfortunately renting a shitty spare room from Valentino at his studio" kinda concept and I keep circling back to this idea that like, Reader gets close with Angel and some of the other workers and they plant this idea in your head or start up this conversation of "well, everyone needs a pair of sexy underwear to feel powerful and confident!

and you're a little shy and not nearly as openly sexual as all of them but the words stick with you and next thing you know it you've ordered this cheaply-made affordable little piece that you think is cute and you're in the your room and you're looking at yourself in the mirror and, you know what, you think they had a point! And you're feeling pretty and sexy and you're doing little poses and there are some pieces of fabric or string that are flowing just right and you do a little spin and THERE AT THE DOOR, LITERALLY THE WORST PERSON WHO COULD HAVE SNUCK IN

And Valentino might even be standing there smirking with his phone in his hand and tbh I would CRY. I would be so humiliated I would burst into tears which as a secondary note, his, idk what word to use, role-player said during a hazbin stream "I love watching you virgins squirm" so I imagine he'd be sadistic and could even have a fetish for humiliating and embarrassing people so you're just trying to cover yourself and you've got big wet boo hoo eyes and he's just like becoming increasing hard and being mean to you about it

Later on you're at your waitress job and you bring him his drink and he can tell you're avoiding making eye contact and he just smirks like, "thanks doll, you're lookin real easy on the eyes tonight, maybe you can put on something sexy for me later" just so he can watch and laugh at the way your eyes all but pop out and start filling with tears because you're humiliated he even brought it up

I just. I can imagine he would have lots of fun with a darling who doesn't exactly want to give him everything that he wants and is shy about their body 😏

[bonesandthebees]

Okay so I don’t have much time, cus that chapter took me like 1, 5 h to read (a combination of my dyslexia being a bitch, me watching Phil’s qsmp kitchen building stream in the background, and me constantly having to take a moment (TM) to process, scream and or squeal because you writing is giving me many emotions tonight. Anyway, have some delayed ‘live’ reactions.

So the chapter summary in combination with the chapter starting before they are back at the temple instantly shot my anxiety through the roof. My adrenaline was pumping (for most of the chapter actually).

Also, it’s good that you reminded us Wilbur hit his head cuz I had legitimately forgotten that bit. And the fact that he hit his head is important because my mans is bleeding. BEE, this is head wound number TWO! BEE, aren’t you put him through enough? Doesn’t he have enough trauma? Does he need the physical injuries too?

Anyway, I’m sure Wilbur walking in Injured was good for Phil’s heart rate. Not as bad as finding out both of them are missing though. But the realisation that Wilbur is bleeding reframes that entire scene because Phil was looking at Wilbur for an entirely different reason than he thought it was. I have yet to reread it, but I look forward to doing that tomorrow.

I gotta love Tommy getting grounded. Welcome to the average teenage experience. [Without thinking, the Pythia huffed out a, “Or what, you’ll ground me too?”

Phil gave him a flat stare. “Yes.”] let me tell you, I cackled. I have to pause for a solid minute to laugh. Congratulations, Wilbur, making up for teenage experience you’ve never had.

And the rest of this chapter is basically just sand duo. There is so much sand duo. I am living my best life. I am being fed. I have so much to analyse. But the summary the chapter summary should have been Wilbur speed-running getting adopted by Phil or Phil speed-running adopting Wilbur. Listen it’s some good father-son bonding with the regular dose of trauma dumping form Wilbur. And an equally expected dose of Phil hearing how shit Wilbur has been treated and adopting him on the stop. And I’m starting to think Kristin has been trying to pspspsps him so she can adopt him since the moment he stepped into the temple (and let me tell you I SCREAMED at that chapter end).

(also, rip Tommy, also, also, Techno burned the Aardvark, I’m sure he’s having a fun time with Tommy bored out of his mind, also, also, also, Wilbur still complimenting Niki’s bread even if he probably hasn’t talked to her in a week).

Anyway, I gotta go now! I’ll be back to scream more later! Thanks for the content! Thanks for the sand duo! I’m going to pray my room has cooled down cuz I will not be able to fall asleep when it’s 30 degree Celsius.

-🌲

I have no idea how you were watching phil's stream while reading the chapter I cannot watch streams while reading fics (tbh I can't do much of anything when reading I have to put my full focus in it to process the words) so kudos to you for that even if it took a bit longer to read

oh yeah I knew everyone was going to brush over wilbur hitting his head at the end of the last chapter. it was such a 'blink and you'll miss it' moment bc I didn't even include it 'onscreen' and just described it happening from afar. it was meant to be very subtle so that when it gets pulled into focus in the next chapter the readers are just as surprised as wilbur is about it

also it was a MINOR wound i swear he did not get head trauma from this one he just cut his eyebrow he's okay 😭

phil was lucky he didn't have a damn heart attack that night. the man went through so much stress and then his son and the pythia they kidnapped stroll back in all casually, and the pythia is BLEEDING and neither one of them even seems to notice

wilbur's gotta get the average teen experience at one point in his life right?? I was very proud of that line lol it was so funny to me

this chapter was especially fun for me to write bc of all the sand duo. god as much as I love crimeboys I had so much fun writing sand in stars, that I was SO happy getting to dive back into their dynamic in this chapter. sandduo just hits different fr. they did so much bonding.

techno felt a headache coming on the second he heard tommy call his rag 'clementine' he is suffering so much to make sure that kid does his damn chores

glad you saw the subtle nod to complimenting niki's baking even if they're still in a very uncertain place with each other :)

can't wait to hear the rest of your thoughts!! also oh god 30 degrees that's really not fun. I hope you get a cool breeze through your windows tonight o7

[keefwho]

September 08 - 2024 Sunday

10:58pm

5.5/10

The first chunk of today was a blur, as usual I took a long time cooking breakfast and I wasn't sure how to start my day. Part of me wanted to spend a lot of time in Cities Skylines but I didn't get around to that. I couldn't even watch my shows because the internet was bad. I kinda messed around and did nothing until JD was free to hang out. We played Planetary Annihilation for a good while. We started off against 2 "bronze" AIs which absolutely swamped us. It was pathetic. Then we fought each other but using only bot factories and I totally smoked him. He got a little frustrated though so I felt a little bad. Although I also feel good because of how he was always the winner when we were kids, especially when it came to RTS games. We hopped on VRchat for a little after that so he could show me this world he found. I didn't think it was very good tbh, especially with the world size but he thought it was cozy. At this point I was feeling the need to talk a little deeper so I asked him how he was. We talked about whats been stressing each other out a bit and that helped. I think he got a lot of benefit out of that, more than me today. Right now and the past couple days I've been feeling strong, like I've been staying true to myself well, making plans, and sticking to decisions. My big focus has been on making sure I'm being myself. I think thats the only requirement I need to have friends or be loved. Also if I keep sacrificing who I am too much for others, I will not be able to take it anymore. I'm forced to respect myself lest I snap.

I was peaking at mods and stuff for PA when DS let me know she was free. We watched some youtube, took a practice drivers test, and then she bought Hades so she could stream it. We moved to my server for that. It was a lot of fun, it was more pleasant to watch than I thought it would be. I knew I'd have fun either way but I really got into it. Unfortunately someone annoying joined for awhile but he did leave eventually. He was backseating and doing that thing where he talks to his pets out loud WAY too much without anyone having any context for what he's doing. DS and I would be trying to listen to the dialogue but he'd be yapping to his dog. In bed we did classic puzzles. I felt like I shared a good sentiment to DS tonight which is not caring or giving into people that might think something about you. Its really toxic behavior I've learned and I hope that sometimes I can help quell that kind of thing because I don't like to see her or anyone else I care about losing themselves to others. I think I'm right with this new emphasis on being myself and I want to spread that to others. True connection happens between 2 entities that identify each other as separate beings. And we can only do that when we act like our own being knowing we will be accepted for it. Either entity bending to the will of the other creates an unbalanced dynamic which often results in harm.

I think a lot like a sleep schedule is the foundation of all scheduling, being yourself is the foundation of many things as well. It's a core requirement to pursue anything higher effectively.

Lately being myself includes accepting how I feel and loving strongly. It also includes making the tough decision to enforce more boundaries and take care of myself in an attempt to be more effective at contributing to my environment in the ways I choose to. Thats whay I want, to be a well functioning individual that helps improve areas I personally think need it. I also want to help my loved ones and let them know that I love them very deeply. It's something I was a little ashamed to admit because my behavior has often been pointed out to be problematic or undesirable. Over time I've taken to believe that my form of "love" is unwelcome so I cannot experience it anymore. I'm not allowed. But I am. Maybe I have made mistakes in the past but they do not bar me from experiencing a basic human need and trying to do it right. I love. I love a lot. I refuse to hide it.

[diedandwenttobobevans]

8/14/2024 - 5:49 AM

oof

hello

long time no journal? Its been a few weeks. Lets see

I've been meaning to get back into it. I really want to make this a habit. (Daily? Weekly?) I actually started googling some diffrent journaling formats that might make it easier? I'll continue to do research. I feel like "stream of concious" writing for journaling is still good. Its good to get all this shit out of me brains. I think sitting down and concentrating on my thoughts is also good self reflection. Maybe. I don't know.

So still need a new therapist, tbh haven't really looked into it as I've been focusing on streaming. Had a really good birthday stream that genuinly revitalized my drive to stream. It was so touching to have a card signed by chat and tons of birthday wishes and presents. I just took 5 minutes to stop what I was doing because I realized I say "Like" too much and went down a short rabbithole of the word.

So one of the issues probbably for me with journaling is it should be something I do in them morning but these past few times I leave it for the evening to empty out my head and then find myself getting sleepy.

So before I head to bed to get a few hours of rest, lets catch up. I haven't heard back from the girl I hung out with, and I sent her a link text message but I tihnk I'll send a regular message later today. I'm really hesitant cause she didnt respond to the first message. But also maybe she didnt see it? Maybe it was too stupid, it was a webcomic about bisexuality. I was a little wine drunk. She did mention going to hang outs so maybe thats my in? oooff girls pretty and intimidating uuuuughhhh

Still feeling all over the place when it come to sleep. I desire to sleep at a reasonable time and be productive during the day and not sleep in weird shifts.

Why does doing any task what so ever make me so fucking tired wtf

UUUUhhhhh before i go crash, I want to try to do maybe a morning jounral dn evening journal, evening for what I did and morning for some affiramations and trying to fix my headspace to be more positive. Still have major self esteem issues. Also I need to start worning out, found my sports bras so I can atleast start running. I feel like I have fat phobia and body issues and I worry I have been binge eating recently, especially when high. Excercise will prob help with the sleep and moodswing stuff.

OK Im tapped out, theres so much more I want to word vomit but I got to crash.

SO personal upcoming goals then:

Morning Affirmations - Optimism training

Evening thought dump journals

collage art still want to do but not tonight. this morning? not this time

Listening: JAZZ CABBAGE - GURT

Reading: Yuria's Red String (God this is such a sad but good read. About a japanese woman in her 50's whose husband has a terrible accident that leaves him unconcious and she discovers about the secrets lives hes been leading this entire time. Reminds me of the tiktoks about women who regret their marriages cause of all the expecancies of being a wife and takeing care of the household while men continue to be shit)

[the-kipsabian]

while im still awake in my kinda sleep deprived state, tonight just really made me think again about potentially pursuing streaming. not as a career but just as something to do. i just wanna play games and hang out with my friends tbh

the thing just is that i need to invest energy and money i dont have into that and its just. yeah. getting everything together and set up is the hurdle ive been trying to overcome for maybe like a year now. i know i really just need to overcome it but.. yeah. its just a very prominent thought in my head again after last night

[goobiegoobert]

spare some monty, freddy, and sun/moon nsfw hcs for the poor (horny)? 🙏🙏🙏

Catch me in your dreams, if you can that is. __________________ A/N: Feeding the rotters, drink up my guys there's gonna be a lot of it tonight <3 Warnings: Smut, highly suggestive, use of dom/sub dynamics, somnophilia, darcyphilia, breath play, mentions of blood read at your own risk. 18+ Only, minors interacting with this post will be blocked. [ GN pronouns used ] ( use of afab and amab language) __________________

Glamrock Freddy

➤ Very hesitant about things, and asks you constantly if everything's okay ➤ Powerhouse to practicing safe and healthy sex with you ➤ Safewords, aftercare routine, boundaries on your consent, and what he can do to you ➤ as the head of the band, it comes naturally for him to have you call him sir ➤ Doesn't think daddy fits and is generally discomforted by it since he's often dad figure to many and discourages it since it would be 'too inappropriate' ➤ Tbh it's only like that since Freddy would absolutely just go blank if someone during the day called him dad ➤ I will stand by this but he steals and has a stash of stolen underwear and I cannot understand why but it's just fucking there ➤ Huge fan of wanting to fuck to the rhythm of music, like dear fuck ➤ In all honesty, you feel dumbed down during your intimate moments with him for various reasons ➤ Afab? Would absolutely spend so much time messing around with your tits, allowing the cool metal to rub against it raising goosebumps across the bare skin simply admiring you ➤ Amab? overstimulation heaven, if you don't call the safe word Freddy will sit there for hours rubbing you out until you're satisfied ➤ More focused on your pleasure than his

Monty Gator

➤ Unlike how many people portray pictures Monty is further attracted to the little things about you ➤ Of course, he's an ass man but generally is obsessed with your thighs ➤ I feel he'd absolutely want to get their casing cracked or broken between your thighs ➤ Absolute powerhouse to fucking you in front of a mirror, especially the one in his greenroom ➤ Due to being absolutely massive Monty truly likes to see you squirm beneath him, honestly a huge power trip just seeing how massive he is compared to you at this moment ➤ Afab? Don't worry, he's absolutely obsessed with trying to see if you get a belly bulge from him and if he succeeds? You're doomed he'll never let it go or give it up ➤ Amab? You're in for a treat, he'd do anything to treat you right just remember your ass will be sore as fuck the next day, and your dick milked dry until he's finished with you ➤ Absolute hard dom, cannot picture it in any other way man ➤ Might be into a little swinging action if he's up to sharing and you're comfortable with it ➤ Mostly just to prove no matter who you get split on he'll always be better ➤ Wasn't the best in aftercare tbh, it took time to figure out how to take of you after everything ➤ First time after he offered you a cigarette seeing that others used it to calm down ➤ Favorite way to handle you is with your back pressed against his chest really gets him going ➤ Due to his sharp nails love to indulge in pain play often dragging them along your stomach and thighs to draw the little blood he can get ➤ Covered in bites from Monty, literally is obsessed with making sure you're covered with marks by the end giving you two at least a day or two of recovering before going at it again

Sunnydrop

➤ Oh boy, the biggest fucking switch here, sometimes he'll simply sit there asking what feels good to you until you're crying from the pleasure ➤ Huge on seeing you cry, yes he feels bad and will never say he likes it ➤ but deep down he tries every time to make sure tears stream down your face in a good way ➤ He and Moon are the ones without dicks, sure Monty and Freddy have it as their own video bs and etc but the daycare attendants have to make do with what they can ➤ Some wires are partially exposed and moveable that they get the sensation to and react with to reenact pleasures of sex ➤ will use your fluids of either natural lubricant or your cum to draw patterns into your skin. Likes to write his name a lot since it kinda gives the expression of writing claim to his art ➤ Afab? You'll be seeing stars by the time he's done and wanting the lights to turn off just for a break, in his brain despite not being able to have but always wondered what it'd be like if he could get you to sit on his face, ahem breeding kink he can't really do ➤ Amab? Your ass is grass, and he's mowing it, not very understanding what prep is at first so you'd have to teach him before they try entering you first go with a toy ➤ Most of the time sex ends with you exhausted and on the verge of passing out whilst Sun's stuck rebooting from overheating his system

Moondrop

➤ The lights are out? Man, good luck living until then ig ➤ You see, Sun has endless energy but when it comes to Moon with this he wants to push limits ➤ learned to set up safewords and specific parts of consent with you just in case since they get far too aggressive for normal people ➤ Don't tell me Moondrop doesn't have a somnophilia kink, c'mon I dare you ➤ Fucks you during your sleep or wakes you up with sex if he's ever in the mood ➤ It rarely happens but whenever Moon does want to have some fun just understand it will be long and punishing ➤ Sets up a reward system for you, such as getting a shorter nap time if you want that, snacks, you name it ➤ Fixated on the only praise used is the term Good Boy / Good Girl / Good pet ➤ Has choked you once on accident to make you shut the fuck up and just it's stuck to be a thing that happens now and again if you mention it's something you like to happen ➤ Focused on their personal curiosity to see just what you can handle as pleasure unless you want to fumble with his wires for a bit in the end ➤ You're afab? Weirdly has an obsession shared with Sun on being parents with you even if it can't really happen but does try to live out the fantasy ➤ Amab? Ohoho. I'm so sorry but your cock is broken by the end of this weeping and limp from the overuse and stimulation from this fucks experiments

[takecareluv]

Hi it's my first time making a request ever so I hope this is okay.

I was hoping that you could write a vinnie imagine where early in their relationship reader forced vinnie to watch 'the summer I turned pretty' with her and she makes like a comment how if someone gave her an infinity necklace like conrad she'd marry them or something like that. Then, later in their relationship (like one year anniversary or longer doesn't matter) vinnie actually gives her an infinity necklace and says that he hopes to be the conrad to her belly I don't know just a really heartwarming confession and reaction.

If you can't do this it's fine. I have just been imagining this scenario and I really enjoy this concept and this show. I just need a conrad. #teamconrad

a.n. hiii it is more than okay !!! sorry this took a few days, i wanted to finish watching the show before i wrote this so i knew what you were talking about! i hope this is what you imagined <3 tbh i can't decide if i'm team conrad or team jeremiah... i think i'm leaning towards conrad but at the same time poor Jeremiah 🥺oh also i hope i described the scenes right. ah

to infinity || vinnie hacker x reader

you and vinnie had been dating for close to three months and were spending almost every moment together. 

you were sitting on Vinnie's bed while he streamed when you saw everyone on the internet suddenly freaking about this new show called the summer i turned pretty.

you just knew you had to check it out. which of course meant vinnie would have to watch it too.

an hour had gone by and you finally heard vinnie saying good night to chat before shutting down his computer. excitedly, you turned over, grabbing the remote to turn on the tv, ready to start the show.

“what? i thought we were watching anime tonight!” vinnie exclaimed as he laid next to you on the bed and pulled some of the blanket to cover him. 

“tomorrow night?” you said while mustering up the most innocent smile you could to get him to watch another girly, romance-book-turned-show with you.

“you’re lucky you're cute” he said, easily giving in. 

“that's what i was hoping you’d say,” you giggled. 

-

you were coming up on the end of the series, loving every second of it. especially the scene where belly and conrad shared a moment on the dock when he gave her the infinity necklace. you thought the gesture was adorable. 

“that is the sweetest thing. if someone got me a necklace like that, i would never take it off.” you said thinking out loud. 

vinnie only smiled, taking note of that in the back of his mind for later.

--

several months later you were approaching your one year anniversary, a very special day to the two of you. 

you were sitting on the beach, watching the sun set into the night sky. turning to face you, vinnie picked up a small box, reaching out for you to grab it. “i got you something, baby.”

you slowly took it from his hand, pulling the ribbon undone and opening the box to reveal a stunning gold necklace with two charms at the center, one: a tiny infinity sign, and two: a letter “v”. 

you let out a quiet gasp, “you remembered?” you whispered, trying to hold back tears. “vin, it’s beautiful. i love it.” 

“put it on for me?” you then asked nicely.

he took the necklace from you, running his hands through your hair to move it to the side. he wrapped the necklace around you throat, clasping the chain and she turning it to face the correct way. 

fiddling slightly with the charms, he smiled. “perfect.”

“i love you. thank you.” you said, kissing his cheek. 

“this is a forever thing, baby. i love you more than all the stars and the moon. imma be the conrad to your belly, remember that.”

[3rddimension]

Interesting how snuggly Courtney and Spencer were in the live tonight. Even at one point she asked him to move closer. I'm convinced shayne and Courtney are together. But that was interesting...🤔

Not to be debbie downer for today's ask but want to inform all the newer follower and anon that it's such a normal for Courtney to be as touchy as this stream. She's also doing this basically with Keith and Noah and other as well. TBH I think when she was actively trying to not be as touchy around Shayne on other stream and that's even more sus tbh.

[lovely-angst]

break ups and break ins

a/n: i didn't have any motivation to continue writing so it stayed in my drafts for forever. it's a super messy fic im not super proud of tbh i wanted to scrap it but i got so far lol

genre: angst to fluff

pairing: hawks x reader

summary: you and hawks break up, but someone breaks in?

word count: 3.7k+

09.16.21

-

"come on, stop being so sensitive," hawks groans with an eye roll as you gawk at him. "you think i'm being sensitive because I'm hurt that you're out there flirting with other girls while we are in a relationship?"

you scoff in disbelief before tears form in your eyes, "i can't believe you right now, keigo."

hawks' brows knit as he stares at you bewildered, "i've already told you that it's just an act i have to out up because of the commission. i can't let them figure out i have a romantic relationship with someone. you don't know what they would do or could do."

"but that doesn't mean you can flirt around with no boundaries!" your voice comes out loud as your arms flail out in front of you, tears streaming down your face, "do you know how much it hurts to see you on television sweet-talking every girl out there when you're my boyfriend? i thought you would respect what we have..."

"(name), just admit you're just jealous of the fangirls and leave it at that," hawks closes his eyes, shaking his head in frustration, "honestly, they appreciate me so much more than you do."

your eyes widen in shock as you feel your heart shattering into tiny pieces so small you aren't sure if you could piece it back up.

"keigo, i love you for who you are—not because you're hawks," your voice now small and laced with hurt. "if you can't see the reason why i am so upset, i think it's best if we end it."

hawks' eyes quickly glance to yours before they look away just as quick, "i think that's what's best too," he whispers, causing your brows to furrow in sadness as you purse your lips tightly.

taking a step forward, you wrap your arms around your now ex-boyfriend, taking in his comforting arms and smell, "thanks for everything." a heavy sigh left from his lips before he nuzzled into you, "can i hold you in bed one last time?"

words died in your throat as you felt the tears sting your eyes once more. a nod was your only reply as hawks lifted the two of you up with his large wings, carrying you into the bedroom.

no words were exchanged as the two of you allowed your quiet breaths to mingle together in silence.

-

your heart was still achey from the fresh break-up as your cries and tears quietly filled the air. your nose and eyes red and raw from all the wiping you had done—the tissues around you as proof.

"hey, come on. you can't keep living like this and expect to get better," mirko says and she stands infront of you with a small smile. "how about we watch something to distract your mind?" she suggests as she turns around to pick up the controller to turn the television screen on.

"hawks, being the number two hero must be so taxing! how do you do it?"

hawks gives that big bright smile you've always loved, "my fans always give me motivation to do my best! i love you my babybirds!"

"oh shit-" mirko quickly turns the television screen off before she turns over to you, watching as your lips quiver before you break out in another crying session.

"rumi," you whine, muffled behind your tissues, "he doesn't care for me at all!" letting out a sigh, she walks over and places a comforting hand on your hair before running her hand through your locks, "hey, don't say that. hawks' cared for you a lot. break-ups happen, but don't let it keep you like this. let's go out and have some fun today, yeah?"

your teary eyes glance up at her before you let out sigh, "okay."

but to your surprise, a quick hour later here you were on a chair getting your makeup done professionally as mirko sat on the couch, munching away on a carrot. "rumi? why am i getting my makeup done professionally?"

"my makeup artist is good at what she does when she beats my face with makeup for those hero galas. i thought it would make you feel better getting your makeup done professionally before we go out and explore the city a bit," she finishes, taking another crunchy bite of her carrot.

a small, "oh" leaves your lips before your attention focuses back on the lipstick that gently glided across your lips. "there, all done. you look great!" the makeup artist cheers as she hands you a mirror.

your eyes sparkled once you saw your reflection—you had never felt so pretty before!

"are you ready to go out now?" mirko asks with a smile as she stands from her seat. you couldn't help the small, yet excited, smile, "yeah."

-

your words had been on repeat in hawks' mind.

you were upset because of how he was treating his fans—flirting with his fans as you put it. it was a constant argument the two of you had and frankly, he was getting tired of it. why you couldn't understand where he was coming from?

he didn't want to break up because of something so trivial, but it seemed like a break up was the only option. but it was fine, his fans kept him going; or that's what he thought was keeping him going.

"hawks! we love you!" his fans cried as he landed down in front of them, his handsome smile swooning everyone lucky enough to get their eye on him. "thanks birdies! i'm always happy to have your support!"

"can i have a picture?" "sign my shirt for me!" "you're the best hero!"

fans; something he enjoyed about being a hero. everywhere he went, they were there to offer him their love and support which he appreciated and loved!

but there often came days when he just wanted to stay cooped in his apartment. away from the world and away from the hero hawks. he simply wanted to escape and enjoy being keigo for a little while.

maintaining a facade took a lot away from him. it was tiring, exhausting even, trying to keep up with how fast his mind was going. a million different things happening at once and hawks had to be able to solve them. a little much for a single guy, don't 'cha think?

landing in at his balcony, hawks let out a heavy sigh as he was finally done with another tiring day of being the number two hero. thankfully, he had the next day off to do, well, nothing.

staring at the dark apartment with a an empty look, hawks let out a groan of exhaustion before unlocking the door and stepping in.

it was quiet, extra quiet these days. since he had gone to living by himself again.

after removing his hero gear, hawks walked into the kitchen and frowned at his lack of food in the fridge. usually, you were always there to greet him with a smile and a hearty dinner after a hard day at work.

well, that didn't matter anymore because you two had broken up, hawks mentally responded to his thoughts.

it seemed like tonight was one of those nights he really missed you.

you made this place feel like home and the more he thought about it, you were his home. he was safe with you and it was okay to let hawks go for the night and just be keigo. you loved him as he came, his flaws and everything. even the emotional baggage!

letting out an exhausted sigh, hawks closed his empty fridge before making his way towards his bed, plopping down with a grunt. "i'll just get a bigger breakfast tomorrow," he noted, pulling out his phone to catch up on his social media for the night.

hawks wasn't expecting to see much on his social media, he's too busy to be checking these sorts of things. today though, he was a little extra bored at home—until he saw a photo of you that mirko shared.

hawks quickly sat up in disbelief. hawks was genuinely confused. you had always been super pretty, but you were extra pretty in this picture. was it because you were no longer his? his eyes glanced over you in the photo for many long minutes as he took in your beauty. you looked so ethereal.

hawks was so thankful for mirko, he would have never stumbled across this photo of you.

the more he smiled at the photo, the more his heart ached. if only he just listened to you more and tried to find a solution to this problem, you would still be with him, in his arms. he was a fool to let you go because he didn't understand your pain. especially when you were always there for him when you couldn't understand his pain.

hawks found himself pulling up that photo of you whenever the days were tough. it never failed to bring a smile to his lips.

until mirko deleted the post.

he should've saved it when he had the chance, hawks thought as he let out a groan upon finding no picture. but, maybe mirko still had it on her phone? thankfully, there was a top five hero meeting that day which meant he could ask mirko about the picture.

hawks sat impatiently in his chair as he drummed his finger against his thigh, counting down the minutes until the meeting would conclude. it must've been distracting, because mirko approached him first after the meeting.

"hey birdbrain, what's up with you? you looked distracted during the meeting," mirko questioned walking up to the winged hero. hawks perked up slightly, before giving her a smile, "hmm? nah, just sick of meetings, wanted to get out." mirko eyed him curiously, "if you say so."

"i saw that picture you posted of (name)," he commented, "you two were hanging out?"

"huh? oh, this picture?" pulling up the picture on her phone, she showed him the photo before pulling away to hawks' dismay. "yeah, we went out. it was about time too! (name) seemed to be enjoying herself, so i'm glad i got to capture that."

hawks couldn't help the smile on his lips knowing that you were happy and could enjoy yourself. he really just wanted you to be happy, even if that wasn't with him.

"if you wanted the photo, you could've just asked," mirko smirks, causing hawks to duck his head down in embarrassment. "but even if you ask, im not giving it to you." Hawks turned his head brows furrowed and confused, slightly offended, "why would you even suggest it then?"

"not sure, maybe it'll be a way to encourage you to find a way to get it."

-

mirko had an interesting way of talking, hawks thought as he continued on with his patrol. it seemed like she was hinting at more than what she was saying, but he wasn't really interested in solving puzzles when he was busy being the number 2 hero.

and boy, was he busy busy.

it felt as if all the villains knew hawks would be out on patrol today, using that to their advatange by stiring up so much more trouble than on a typical day—not that he couldn't handle it, it was just more work that he would have hoped to do that day.

from the sky, he could see a crowd forming below on the streets as they cheered him on for another successful capture. hawks let out an exhausted sigh, but floated down to greet his fans nonetheless. there even happened to be press.

"hawks! you were amazing out there!" "great work! i can always count on you!" "you looked so attractive fighting those villains!"

hawks lifted up his visor and gave the fans a handsome grin, causing a chorus of squeals. hawks glanced at one of the fans near him lips curled in a smirk, mouth ready to open and say a few lines that would send arrows straight to the heart when he subconsciously stopped himself.

closing his mouth, he gave her a gentle smile before a soft reply came out, "thank you for supporting me."

it was weird of him to respond to fans in such fashion, but your words were stuck in the back of his head. he wished he could have acted this way before you two broke it off, it would have saved a lot of heartache.

hawks hoped you would notice his change. and unbeknownst to him, you had.

your eyes were glued to the television that aired the news that also happened to feature your ex-boyfriend, hawks. your heart felt fuzzy as you watched him, he seemed different...more down to earth?

"your eyes haven't left the tv since hawks appeared," mirko comments causing you to avert your eyes embarrassed. "i was just interested in the news for today, that's all," you tried but knew mirko wouldn't buy into your lie.

"yeah, okay. keep telling yourself that," she chuckles as she she sits down beside you. "so, whats going on in that head of yours now?"

"he's different now, rumi," you state, eyes drifting back to the screen. "he's talking to his fans like they're fans." your shoulders slump sadly, "i wish he was like this when we were together...i guess he really doesn't care about me after all."

mirko lets out a grunt as she listens to your moping. turning towards her, you notice her adjusting her purple thigh high socks to sit snugly against her upper thighs, "you have patrol this evening?"

"yep, my turn for an evening patrol. they're not that bad, more bad guys come out at night," she jokes with chuckle but you don't find it funny. "i know you can easily beat them, but that doesn't mean i worry any less for you," you sigh. "stay safe please."

"will do, cry baby," she jokes once more causing you to angrily pout, "i'm not a cry baby!" "says the one crying over hawks. bye!" and with that she quickly leaves out the door before you could throw a pillow at her.

rolling your eyes playfully, you walk over toward the bedroom you shared with mirko. you had a nice futon on the floor beside of her bed that surprisingly was very comfy. organizing her room a bit and folding her clothes she tossed around, you tried to busy yourself until she came back.

which was surprisingly short.

you heard the main door swing open before hearing her move around the living room and kitchen. she must've forgotten something, you thought to yourself as you made your way toward the bedroom door you had previously closed behind you.

"rumi? did you forget something?" you ask as you open the door, just to find yourself staring at the stranger in the apartment who donned a black ski mask with some sort of weapon in their hand. unfortunately your voice had caught their attention and their head quickly turned toward you before bolting it down the hallway for you.

screaming, you quickly shut the door and locked it before the thief could get in. the rattle of the doorknob causes you to let out another shriek as you looked around for a way to protect yourself and to escape.

the only solution that came to your mind was to block the door with whatever heavy furniture mirko had on her room which consisted of her bed, a desk and her clothes drawers. you did your best to block the door, but it was proving to be not enough.

"open the door and i won't hurt you miss," the voice called out and you felt your stomach twist from their words.

you scurried around to look for your phone and thankfully found it amongst this chaos and your body went on auto-pilot and dialed the first person that came to your mind whenever you were in danger.

your shaky hand brought your phone to your ear as you ran into the furthest corner of her room. your free hand covering your trembling lips. please pick up.

"hello? (name)?"

"keigo please help me," you cried quietly so the person on the other side couldn't hear you, but the desperation in your voice was clear as day for hawks. "(name)? whats happening? where are you?" his voice was now firm and laced with worry as you began to sob in through the phone.

"i'm at mirko's and she just left for patrol but someone broke in and i hid myself in her room. i'm so scared, please come quick." and right after he heard you squeak in fear from the unidentified noises through your phone.

"i'm coming right now," you could hear the power his wings had as he lift himself into the sky, "does she have any windows you can exit from?" glancing behind you, you took a mental note that her windows were large enough for you to escape through—the only problem was mirko lived on the tenth floor.

squeezing your eyes shut, you nodded even though hawks could not see you, "yeah, but she doesn't have any escape ladders and i'm on the tenth floor." hawks cursed under his breath on the other side, "just hold on, i'm almost there."

clutching onto your phone, you jumped when the barricade you made against the door was getting tossed around from the force of the stranger on the other side trying to break in. scrambling around, you quickly unlocked the window before opening it, allowing the wind to flow in.

with another jolt from the door all of your barricades flew from the door, leaving it vulnerable. you knew the door would fall with his next move, so with trembling hands, you maneuvered your body outside the window, letting your bottom sit on the window frame.

from a distance, you could hear someone calling out your name. when you narrowed your eyes to focus, all of the stress left your body as you watched them shoot towards you. hawks had come to your rescue!

but hawks wasn't close enough.

the door behind you broke allowing the stranger into the room and before they could grab a hold of you, you jumped.

"(name)!"

as your body free fell down towards the earth, hawks used his wings to give himself one strong push forward before folding his wings tightly behind his back to gain speed to reach you.

reaching his arms out, he caught you in time before shooting back up towards the sky, "that was so stupid of you!" you shouted loudly against the wind, "what if i wasn't there in time?"

glancing up at him, you gave him a small smile, "i just knew you'd get to me in time ."

-

"agh, more paperwork i have to fill out!" mirko groans as she walks around her messy apartment after hawks and her had caught the suspect and had cops take care of him. as she walked away into her bedroom with a line of curses, you quietly turned over towards hawks who had his back facing you. he was on call with the commission.

"yep, i'll get that finished tomorrow," ending his call and stuffing his phone in his pocket, he turns around to find you staring at him. his cheeks flush slightly from the sudden eye contact, but he managed to compose himself. "are you doing alright? that must've been quite the terrifying experience."

"yeah, thanks for picking up. you were the first person i thought to call," you confess and he perks up. "oh yeah?"

"you've always kept me safe and i just really needed you when i was in danger. so thanks," giving him a smile he mirrors you. "of course, anything for you."

your heart flutters from his words, but you slightly turn yourself away, glancing down. you two were no longer dating, so there was no need to get butterflies over him again. "well, thanks again. you must have a busy day tomorrow."

"do you buy any chance still have that photo of you when you were out with mirko?" hawks asks suddenly causing you to glance up at him. "you know, when you two went out a couple weeks ago? you were all dolled up and honestly, just super pretty?" hawks says boldly with a sheepish grin.

"why are you asking?"

"send it my way."

you gawked at him, "you want me to send you a picture of me? we're not dating anymore, that would be weird!" hawks could only shrug, "okay, that's simple then. let's go on a date." you gawked even further, "what is going on inside of that bird brain? all this for a photo?"

"i want to be the one who takes those photos of you. i want to be the reason you get all dolled up. i know i messed up, (name). i've been changing the way i talk to my fans because i understand how i hurt you. could you give me another chance to make it better? i promise i will treat you the way you deserve to be treated."

this was coming too suddenly, your wounds were just starting to heal.

"you...you don't mean that, hawks," you say dejectedly as you back up to sit on mirko's couch. "i'm scared."

"he means it you know?" mirko pops out of the hallway suddenly and stands with her arms crossed against her chest as she stares at the two of you. "he's been asking me for that picture nonstop since he saw it online."

"but he really does love you still, (name) and i know you still love him too. go ahead and give it another shot, i'll be here to kick him to the curb if he does anything bad to you." she encourages, making you glance back towards hawks.

"promise?" your eyes are sparkly from the tears that had glossed over your eyes and hawks gives you a confident nod, "promise. i'll pick you up at six tomorrow?"

you couldn't help your growing smile, "yeah, i'll be waiting."

- e x t r a -

as hawks flew off towards his apartment, the notification ding of his phone went off causing him to take a look. you had sent him a text!

opening the message his eyes widen from the photo you sent, it was the cute pic of you all dolled up!

"i'm so in love!" he shouts loudly in the sky.

[yoonpobs]

bad boy good thing | m

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining

warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)

words: 3, 451

summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing

“You’re so pretty like this,” Jungkook whispers against your cheek but it’s nothing like sweet nothings that would comfort you.

No. It’s dirty, it’s relentless when he hooks his fingers upwards against your spongey walls while his other hand clamps on your mouth to keep your gasps at bay. There’s nothing that you can do when he has your pleasure quite literally in the palm of his hands.

“Mmph.” You groan, hips bucking upwards despite your mind telling you that this was wrong, that you weren’t like this.

But Jungkook had a way of clouding your conscience and leading you to unmapped territories when he looks at you with his doe-eyes that looked nothing like innocence but more like trouble.

Jungkook’s absolutely brutal when he finger fucks your pussy until it's squelching within the bathroom walls, nearly overpowering the music from outside. You’re pathetically whining and moaning under him, back stained with sweat while he presses you against the sink. When he looks at you, it’s almost worth it.

Almost.

“This fucking pussy gets wet only for me, yeah?” He growls, eyes barring anomalistically when he releases his other hand from your mouth to grip your chin to look at him.

You can’t control the moan that you let out when he drags his fingertips across the spongey surface of your cunt, your hole fluttering around his long digits that hypnotised you every single time.

“J-Jungkook—” You gasp when he presses his thumb against your clit, your wetness lubricating the movement until your legs shudder around his hips while his eyes zero onto your pussy.

The way he revs up his spit at the back of his throat should’ve been disgusting and you should’ve run for the hills, but Jungkook had a way of making everything you were taught to avoid look appetising because a dollop of his slaver drops directly onto your clit and you feel your stomach clench.

“Fuck. You’re such a slut, aren’t you?” He hisses, “Acting so prim and proper on the outside but you just wanna get fucked like a dirty little secret, huh?”

You shake your head when he pounds harder into you that your body is hiking up the sink with the force he’s exerting into shoving his fingers into your pussy. Tears of ecstasy or shame—you don’t know—but they’re accumulating at the edge of your eyes and threatening release, just like your orgasm that’s impending.

“You’re a liar.” He spits at you and it’s not as malicious as it should be because he’s smirking, a grin so menacing but addictive that you can’t help your dazed eyes that fall onto his face.

Your hand is gripping his shoulder while the other holds onto the sink because your pussy is spasming around his fingers and your wetness is everywhere. It’s on his jeans, fingers, and the remnants of your juice taint his lips—and you feel your stomach clench harder while your mind grows fuzzier.

“N-Not lying.” You whimper.

Jungkook scoffs like he doesn’t believe you, “You’re a liar. You’re a bad girl, aren’t you? What’s everyone going to think if they see you fucked out with just my fingers?”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head when he leans down in one sudden motion that you can’t even catch up with and envelopes your throbbing bud into his mouth and sucks. Sucks so hard that you scream and you’re sure the partygoers know exactly what’s going on in the bathroom.

“Jungkook!” You scream, clutching his hair.

He chuckles darkly against your pussy but doesn’t relent his actions. The dark locks between your thighs make everything much harder to focus on, but all you can feel and see in Jungkook.

“N-No—I c-can’t—fuck!—” You’re not pushing him away but your hips are unconsciously grinding against his mouth when he finger fucks your pussy all while giving you the beautiful stimulation from his hot mouth.

“You’re going to cum for me and drench my face, yeah?” He mumbles into your pussy but it’s nothing short of demanding, “Gonna eat your fucking pussy clean.”

You’re so close, so so close and Jungkook feels it. He’s generous today, hooking his fingers deeper, and harder until—

“Fuck!” You scream.

Jungkook smirks against your pussy, knowing he’s found it. And Jungkook is someone who doesn’t stop when he knows he’s doing well, he just goes harder. That’s exactly what he does that pushes you over the edge.

He hooks his fingers until you’re nearly lifted off the sink, but his hand presses against your stomach to keep you still, prolonging the intense feeling of pleasure mixed with pain.

“J-Jungkook—f-fuck, I—can’t—p-please—I’m c-cumming—” You’re a blubbering mess and you’re outwardly crying, and Jungkook loves the tears that stream down your face as a result of his hard work on your pussy.

“Cum for me pretty.” He rubs your clit vigorously as he pulls away just to see you unravel.

And you do, so intensely and captivatingly that Jungkook nearly cums himself on the spot. But you were a sight to behold when your face contorts in pleasure, pussy clenching uncontrollably while you spurt the evidence of your orgasm all over the sink and onto Jungkook’s clothes.

Your orgasm is all too long and too short, but it’s good. It sends you away to a spiral of acute gratification that doesn’t disappoint. You barely make out Jungkook’s darkened but pleased expression when your body shudders from the aftershocks of your orgasm.

When you come down, and you blink your eyes to come back to the world—the first thing you see is Jungkook’s stained shirt like he spilled water on it but it was just the proof of your arousal and his effort.

Jungkook tugs you close to make sure you see the way he sticks his three fingers into his mouth, smirking at your wide eyes.

“Good girls taste the best.” He hums.

You blush despite the fact he’s seen the worst and best parts of you, hiding away from his keen gaze when he leans down to chase your lips.

“The p-party.” You mumble.

Jungkook scoffs with a wicked grin on his face, “Bet everyone heard how loud you get for me.”

You grimace at the thought of walking out there, where your friends and peers are after the session Jungkook put you through with the redness on your cheeks that could only allude to one thing.

And what you did with Jungkook comes crashing down onto you all at once, even if your stomach still flutters at the pleasure he’s given you. You weren’t like this. You didn’t follow men into bathrooms and let them stick their fingers into your pussy just so you could chase your high. You didn’t let men like Jungkook touch you the way he did when he squeezed your cheeks to look at him.

You broke all of the rules you made for yourself, compartmentalised in your brain—and you can only blame—

“Jungkook.” You say softly, eyes looking up to him and you’re sure he sees your dried tears, “This has to stop.”

For the second time of the night, Jungkook looks like he doesn’t believe you. And that’s probably because you don’t even believe yourself.

Jungkook smirks, “You say that every time it’s over but you’re the one looking for me when I’m gone.”

“I don’t look for you.” You frown.

He scoffs.

“You don’t? Then why would the esteemed _____ who sets the fucking curve all the damn time turn up at a house party where she doesn’t belong?”

You purse your lips and look away. You both knew that parties were not your thing and definitely not one where a bunch of drunk college students was involved.

“You know the only reason I’m here tonight is because of Jimin and Tae.” You snap.

He rolls his eyes before caging you into the sink, and you realise that your skirt is still lifted up—wetness sticking your thighs together in an uncomfortable way that makes you wince.

“And where are they now?” He sneers, looking at you in a mocking manner.

You clench your fists by your side and try to look brave in front of Jungkook. There was no reason why he had this effect on you when you were older than him when he used to worship the ground you walked on when you were children. Now that the tables were turned you had no clue how to navigate it.

“They’re—they’re …” You appeal helplessly, “Does it matter?”

Jungkook tongues the inside of his cheek in a way that you noted came from a childhood habit turned attractive, and you hate yourself even more for feeling your heart flutter.

“That’s what I thought.” Jungkook snorts.

He pushes himself off the sink and away from you, and you unconsciously find yourself chasing him. Jungkook notices this but chooses to just smirk at you. You try to glare at him and convince both of you that you didn’t want him, that you wouldn’t come back.

But when Jungkook cups your jaw with his right hand and brings his lips to yours before he leaves, you know that choice was never yours, to begin with.

Sana approaches you out of the blue after one of your lectures and you know something is up when her eyebrows are raised.

“Hey, ____!”

You turn around, nearly slamming into her when she steadies herself, eyes inquisitive with a knowing smile that you don’t like.

Sana was one of those people in college that you were friends with purely for convenience. She was in a few of your lectures and somehow always ended up in your group during projects; so it was strategic for you to maintain an amicable relationship with her.

You thought you could see yourself being good friends with her, but she was far too extroverted and involved in campus affairs. Not that was a bad thing—but it was bad for your social ineptness and lack of engagement in social settings. And the fact that wherever she went, gossip seemed to follow.

“Sana.” You greet with a small smile.

She nudges your shoulders before the two of you fall into similar steps as you make your way out of the lecture hall.

“How have you been?” You know it’s small talk and that she’s easing you in, which only settles the anxiety further at the pit of your stomach.

“I’ve been busy.” You shrug, “Mid-terms are around the corner.”

She snorts, “By corner you mean two months down the road and you’re just being an overachiever?”

You blush at being called out and you know she meant no ill-intent. She laughs at your reaction while you offer her a sheepish smile in return.

“It’s always good to be prepared.”

She nods her head as the two of you approach the outdoor student lounge where a few other college kids were either dozing off or typing away on their laptops for last-minute assignments.

“So I heard …” Sana trails off and you sigh knowingly, already somewhat prepared.

“You heard …?” You parrot.

“You and Jeon are close, right?”

You stop in your tracks when you hear his name, as you feel her stop right behind you while you tuck your laptop to your chest.

“J-Jeon?”

Sana nods when you turn around to face her. You hope she isn’t as observant as you think she is because your face is undoubtedly red right now.

“Yeah. Jungkook.” She reaffirms.

“We’re … we grew up together.” You tell her, “With Jimin and Taehyung.”

You made sure to include your other two friends because you didn’t like where the conversation was going, and you needed to ensure there was some form of distance established between you and Jungkook, not wanting to further entangle yourself with him than you already are.

She raises an eyebrow, “So you’re close?”

You shrug your shoulders.

“I guess you could say that. We went to the same high school so it was natural for our paths to cross.”

Sana nods her head slowly as if processing the information.

“Why—”

“But you’re older than him, right?” She asks with a tilt of her head.

You blink at her, then you nod. Redness on your cheeks already appearing.

“Yeah. B-But … I mean by only two years. It’s not like that’s a lot.” You say defensively.

You weren’t sure why you felt the need to clarify that because there was no reason why Sana needed to know that you were just two years older than Jungkook. It was the type of information that was unnecessary and redundant given that she clearly pointed out the fact you were older.

Sana hums before looking at you with knowing eyes, but you try to pretend like you don’t see it.

“And you’ve never fooled around before?”

Her question makes you choke and causes heat to rapidly rush to your cheeks.

“What?” You cry, “Of course not!”

Sana looks at you dryly before schooling herself with a neutral smile.

“None at all?” She pries, “But he’s so hot?”

You roll your eyes, already wanting to leave the conversation, knowing it wasn’t the wisest decision to have allowed it to prolong this far after Jungkook’s name was brought up.

“He’s like a litter brother to me.” You snap.

You hate that you know you’re lying through your teeth because you would have not let a little brother do the things Jungkook has done to you.

Sana nods, sides of her lips twitching upwards at your answer.

You sigh, “What is this about?”

She waves you off.

“Just wanted to know if he was single.”

You raise an eyebrow, heart nearly stopping at the insinuation.

“Okay …?”

Sana smiles up at you like she wasn’t interrogating you on your apparent relationship with Jungkook, a young boy turned bad with the realism of college-hood and social interactions that you can’t even compare him to the boy you knew from high school; all awkward and limbs.

“My friend’s asking. You know Jennie?”

You almost turn pale. Because of course, you know Jennie because she’s beautiful, popular, outgoing and everything that you weren’t; and everything Jungkook should’ve liked—and you were sure he did.

“Y-Yeah.” You stutter.

“She always thought you two were together so she never made her move. At least I can tell her that isn’t the case.” Sana chirps.

“Y-Yeah … you can.” You mumble, eyes looking away and the only thing plaguing your mind is the visual of Jennie and Jungkook together.

“But I always did try to tell her that she was in her head about the two of you.” Sana laughs.

You turn around, and your heart knows you should keep your mouth shut but you were always too curious for your own good.

“Oh?” You furrow your eyebrows.

“Yeah.” Sana shrugs, “I mean. You’re top of the class, Ms. Student President and always put together. And not to say Jungkook isn’t but … he’s not exactly like you, you know?”

You know that. Because every time you look at old pictures of you and Jungkook you already felt the disparity, the clear-cut chase that he was at the top of the food chain while you were always left with the leftovers. You weren’t the type of girl that hung around Jungkook’s circle and he wasn’t the type of person you would hang out with.

The two of you weren’t young anymore and Jimin and Taehyung weren’t able to be that bridge between the both of you either. You and Jungkook were so drastically different and it scared you because you remember a time where you thought he was the endgame.

“I guess you’re right.” You say softly.

“Anyways. Sorry for bothering you!” Sana smiles before tugging her bag over her shoulder and offering you a small wave before she darts off in the other direction.

You’re left standing in the middle of the lounge with a heavier sense of dread on your shoulders, and the image of Jennie in your mind. She’s pretty. And you bet she’s nice too, but fun enough for Jungkook to want. Nothing like you.

But you shake your head off with the thoughts. You didn’t even deserve to think about this because Jungkook was never yours. Even if he tempts you with his words and his scalding touch, you were just someone familiar to him.

He didn’t want you.

You purse your lips and will yourself not to shed a tear in public, so you quickly turn on your heel to head towards the library; where the world is a lot quieter.

“Did you see this?” Jimin leans closer to shove his phone in front of your face.

You frown and ignore him, but he’s like an annoying brother who won’t budge when he waves the device even more.

“What?” You snap, eyes shut in irritation.

“Damn. Who pissed in your cereal?” Jimin mutters.

You roll your eyes and sigh, looking at him with a softer expression.

“Sorry.” You wince, “I just had a bad day and … I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have unloaded it on you.”

Jimin smiles at you pitifully before turning to face you, placing his phone downwards on the table.

“You wanna talk about it?”

You think about what’s been bothering you and you can only think of Jungkook. How he pretended like he didn’t know you after he fingered you in the bathroom at a party. How Sana didn’t think you and Jungkook were possible. How Jennie was interested and she was gorgeous. How Jungkook would be too.

“Nah.” You wave him off, forcing a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes.

Jimin eyes you sceptically but you rest a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“You sure?”

You nod, before cocking your head to his phone.

“What did you want to show me?”

He blinks at his phone and then picks it up, already in a different mood when he opens his device to his Instagram page.

“Did you know Kook and Jennie were a thing?” Is the first thing you hear after Jimin shows you a video that makes your heart drop into your stomach.

It’s Jungkook—and Jennie.

But that’s not it.

They’re kissing, quite passionately and people are egging them on when Jungkook slips a leg between her thighs while he cradles her face against his own. You see people cheering and hollering when Jungkook slips his tongue into her mouth, and Jennie smiling against the kiss.

It was at the party. The party where he fingered you and kissed you on the lips before he proceeded to pretend like he didn’t know you and disappear.

You wonder how you missed all of that.

“______?” Jimin calls out to you.

You blink up at him before he looks at you with a confused yet concerned expression.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks.

You clear the lump in your throat, and your point is proven. They do look good together.

“I-I …” You mumble, “Yeah. I’m okay.”

Jimin doesn’t believe you and he sets his phone down, but before he can say anything a new figure joins you at the table by slamming their stuff down.

When you look up, you see Jungkook—and it hurts so badly when you recognise his cocksure smirk with his eyes trained on your face.

“What are the two of you whispering about?” He snorts, settling into his seat.

Before Jimin can say anything, you push yourself up abruptly that startles both Jimin and Jungkook.

“I have to go.” You blurt.

Jimin furrows his eyebrows, “Are you really okay—”

“Yes.” You say tightly, packing your belongings as quickly as you can without sparing Jungkook another glance.

“You’re not even going to say hi?” Jungkook asks, and if you were in a better headspace then you’d hear the slight irritation in his tone.

You purse your lips, but still, keep your eyes away from him. You don’t respond to him, and neither do you flatter Jimin’s concerned stare.

But before you can leave, Jimin grabs your wrist and your breath hitches, head-turning slowly to face him while you ignore Jungkook’s heavy gaze on you.

“Text me?” He says softly.

You knew from Jimin’s eyes that he’s worried, and you felt slightly guilty for leaving him behind like this when you promised him to study. But you couldn’t be around Jungkook right now. Not when your mind was everywhere and you were confused about everything.

Not when the video exists.

“I will.” You reply, equally as soft.

You tug your hands away and don’t spare Jungkook another glance before you’re rushing out of the library, the lump in your throat more apparent than ever.