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cinnamonest · 2 years ago

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Yandere twst - Jamil

Taking this as an opportunity to make a post for my boy!!! Similar to the last one I'm going with a "consensual relationship that quickly takes a turn for the worse," I am liking the dynamic >:3 Important note that you should probably read the last one for Kalim prior to this one (I originally intended to release it as one post but ended up dividing it bc both were like 12k+ words lmao), so this one makes several references to the other one.

Previous entries for twst series:

[Kalim]

[Floyd]

//manipulative bastard behavior/moderate yandere, somewhat dark, bullying, mind control, I think there might be implications of fem reader iirc

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The first interaction you have with Jamil is only a few brief moments. A conversation in passing, the sort of empty casual exchange that is normally more or less forgotten by both parties before the day is even over.

He's pretty aware of his surroundings at all times, so he sort of saw you walking over out of the corner of his eye, working himself away making food and setting up arrangements and venue as per usual for some function or another that Kalim decided to hold at the last minute on the main campus grounds . Bouncing from one task to the next. But several others have passed by already without a word, so it catches him a bit by surprise when your steps come to a halt, when you speak.

You know, every time I see you, you're always working on something. Don't you ever rest?

Your tone is that sort of endearing, amused way of speaking, but still seems to express a genuine sentiment. You're not exactly spending idle time either -- you have some box or package in your hands, headed somewhere to drop something off. Who knows what compelled you to say something, on this one occasion in particular, to voice the observation you've made quite a few times now. Spontaneous, spur of the moment. A decision made with casual impulse.

His eyebrows raise, but it doesn't take him more than a moment to formulate a response. A very generic response, one that comes out mechanically, given how often people express similar thoughts to him, tell him he's working too hard, that he deserves a break and all that, things he hears pretty frequently. A randomly chosen option, the first that comes to mind, of a preset list of responses to such inquiries and comments.

A casual sigh, a shrug of the shoulders, followed with a 'well, someone has to get this done, might as well do it myself.' With a pleasant tone and a slight chuckle, of course, as socially expected, that perfect level of exasperation to where he can complain, but just not enough to make it seem like he actually feels burdened. A default exchange like so many others, that he recites his parts of without really thinking about it.

Likewise, you give what he perceives as a typical reply.

If you need any help, I can come back as soon as I get this dropped off...

He just shakes his head.

That's alright. Everything that can be done today is nearly finished anyway.

You shift the box you're carrying, jerking it up with a soft motion to re-secure it in your arms.

Well, alright, if you say so... you can let me know if you ever need any help with anything!

Of course, that in and of itself is also an empty social gesture. So often people say things of the sort -- let me know if you need anything, or I can help if you need, so on and so on, a courtesy expected by arbitrary rules of social etiquette, but not anticipated to be very likely to be actually taken up on the offer. He couldn't even count how many times people have said similar things to him, it's just a matter of social propriety. The exchange melts into the vast collection of perpetual memory, as with every other uneventful moment in one's life, and he doesn't think of it again for the rest of the day.

He's a bit taken aback, then, when you show up the next day. You can see the slight bewilderment on his face when he asks if you need something. Your reply is a bit sheepish, but friendly.

Well, you said 'everything that can get done today' yesterday, so I figured you'd be busy again today too... I don't have anything better to do, and I'm trying to get to know people here, you know? You seem like you could use some help.

Ah. Well, that does make sense. In truth, he values the solitary time he gets to himself, and trying to get to know new people often leaves him rather exhausted. But still, you're a pleasant person, and he would appreciate getting this set-up work for the event tomorrow done faster. He thanks you, pauses for a moment while trying to determine a task to delegate to you. Can't give you something too difficult, seeing as you're generous enough to do this in the first place. You end up performing some menial, repetitive task, simple but necessary, while he does the heavy lifting and more difficult aspects.

It's easy to talk to you, thankfully. You mostly just ask him a bunch of questions about the school, about himself, about Kalim, about the Scarabia dorm, so on and so on. Nothing too intrusive, nothing that's difficult to answer. Truthfully, it's actually kind of nice. He's not particularly used to people expressing a great deal of interest in him, he usually sort of works in the background, quiet, unnoticed, doesn't draw attention to himself. He was a bit weary of the thought of working with someone on this, but he finds that he actually enjoyed the time, once it's over, when you bid him farewell and head back to your own dorm, promising to come by again sometime.

But again, that's a social courtesy. Maybe you will, maybe you won't. It would be rather nice, but he won't be too disappointed nor surprised if you don't; after all, you must be very busy meeting tons of people and adjusting to the situation you've found yourself in here. He's not expecting anything.

Since over a week passes, he starts to think it will be just a one-time thing, not thinking much of it. It's a rather pleasant surprise, this time around, when you do show up again. He says it's nice to see you again, even more of those necessary appropriate courtesy things he's supposed to say, although it is meant sincerely. Thanks you for coming by again.

Conversation comes a bit more easily, as you're not really strangers this time around, your exchanges lack that inherent slight awkwardness that comes with interacting with a person you've never spoken to before. This time he can make some conversation based on asking you how your week was, how you're getting adjusted, so on and so on.

You come back a third time, after that, this time only around five days later. Then a fourth time, although that time you take even longer than the time between the first and second visit. He does take notice of that, supposing it to just be a habit of being observant of details like that.

It turns into a habit. You keep coming back, trying to help out. It's an appreciated act of kindness, but... somewhat uncomfortable, too. He's used to having to do quite a lot by himself, or employing the help of random Scarabia students, but even then he's acting more as a director, telling them what to do while working on other tasks himself. He's not as much used to working directly with someone, having someone hand him things and work right alongside him.

Still, it gets the job done faster. And it's nice to have someone to talk to, makes it feel like it's going by faster too. Not to mention, your returning to help him on multiple occasions suggests you have some desire to be around him, since he's fairly certain it's not as if you find manual labor particularly enthralling or anything. That gives him a feeling that is very...

...Unpleasant.

Yes, categorically, it should be considered unpleasant. A tight constriction of the chest, jittery nerves, increased heart rate, a feeling of unease and bashfulness. None of that is particularly positive, and in fact is rather irksome.

But the feeling is somehow, nonetheless, an addictive one, a sort of natural chemical high that, despite the duality of its unpleasantness, still leaves him with that trademark "warm fuzzy feeling" for the rest of the day, well after your departure. The back-and-forth of how good and bad the feeling is, is confusing and frustrating in and of itself. Not to mention the way he gradually increasingly finds his thoughts drifting to you in some way, wondering what you're doing and where you are. The sudden rushing feeling to his chest whenever he happens to spot you. The way he starts to look forward to your coming to visit and help. The surge of excitement when you do come walking through the door, and admittedly, acute disappointment on the days you don't show up.

More importantly, the conclusions to be drawn are frustrating. He's not clueless, quite the opposite. The realization of the sentiments he has for you aren't something he goes into self-denial about, nor does he have to sort through them.

It just sort of dawns on him one day, when you show up a few minutes late to a class you both have -- he finds himself a bit worried for the few minutes of your absence, and similarly a sensation of relief when you come sheepishly slinking through the doorway, quietly trying to enter the room without being noticed or called out for tardiness. Your eyes briefly meet from across the room. You flash a quick smile in his direction before heading to the spot you normally sit in. The slight concern, the relief, the way that one quick second of eye contact and smile from you made his heartrate go up, made a warm tight feeling in his chest... it just sort of occurs to him within that moment. Yes, he's not the sort of person to be in denial or delusion and convince himself he feels any other way, and is quite good at recognizing and fully understanding his own psychology.

...

...Ugh.

Not that he doesn't appreciate you or anything, but at first, it's actually something he's not particularly thrilled about, quite frustrated actually.

Firstly, it's inconvenient. For someone as busy and with so many responsibilities as himself, it's not good to have distractions or liabilities. Such things can compromise one's sense of priority, and keep oneself absent-minded, neither of which he can afford.

More importantly, it's a sort of weakness that he doesn't like the thought of having. His calmness and composition throughout most matters is largely dependent on the fact that he tends to operate from a distance, executing plans by proxy or otherwise indirectly. He doesn't approach things very head-on, it's just not his way of doing things. And any matters he conducts are usually professional or academic, rarely having to involve feelings and emotions, particularly in a relational sense to other people. While he's very persuasive, well-liked, and certainly doesn't struggle to socialize or anything, he doesn't really form a lot of very close relationships.

Thus, while would never admit to it, he's sort of lost when it comes to matters of a truly romantic nature, and would be very awkward if he tried to be forward or initiate any sort of display of affection. Thankfully, he's self-aware of that, and isn't about to make a fool of himself doing something stupid and impulsive.

This leads to a sort of stagnation. Yes, he'll do everything in his power to set up the correct circumstances in which he can be around you, will manipulate all sorts of surrounding factors and nearly everyone in your social network, even if that involves countless hours of quietly carrying out plans... he just won't, you know, ever say it outright to you, at least not unless you do first.

After all, even in literature and media, courtship is often compared to some form of game, where the one who cares more and needs the other more is thought of as the weaker, "losing" party. There's an innate sort of vulnerability to transparency in openness to one's emotions, and he's strongly averse to that. Part of it is the innate sensitivity to rejection present in all people, but it's also a matter of control. He likes situations and people and things that give him a firm sense of control, stability, security. People who are easily manipulated, situations that he can easily direct the outcome of... and opening up such a situation would mean relinquishing control of whatever happens next, control of his own emotional state, control over the inherent power imbalance present deep within every social interaction, over to you. Can't do that.

And when that "losing" party makes their desperation and vulnerability known, it turns off the other, bores them, makes them feel the desperate one is disposable and soon treats them as such after losing interest.

Well, some people. If you ask him, the thought of that level of desperation and neediness from a partner is actually quite nice. He can't really wrap his head around why some people would find it irritating or boring when just the thought of it seems like a euphoric fantasy. Since he likes control, a lack thereof, a sense that something is slipping out of his grasp, that he can't easily dictate the actions or results of something, is something he can't stand for.

So, he can't do it. Can't expose that degree of openness, risk rejection.

But that's alright, he can't afford to have that sort of relationship with someone anyway, it would simply interfere with his responsibilities too much. So he determines, at least initially.

The solution to both of these problems, then, is to simply refrain. No interference with his responsibilities, and no need to expose any vulnerability. He's very used to restraining his emotions, refraining from acting upon impulses or desires, however harmless they may be, because responsibility must take priority. Rarely has something consumed his thoughts to such a degree, but still, he can handle it.

Thus, for a while, he might actually avoid you to some extent, thinking it will decrease the chances of attachment. Gets things done in a different location than where you usually find him, works at different times.

But then it seems so boring and empty when he's working alone, when he doesn't have your bright smile there, it feels very... depressing. Likewise, when he sees you again, coming up with some excuse as to why he was absent the day before or so (did you come looking for him and he wasn't there? Were you disappointed? The thought of that is satisfying on its own...), the discontentment goes right back to feeling everything is alright and well with the world, and it's a feeling he just can't give up.

He quickly realizes it seems pointless to continuously resist. If he can't rid himself of it, he might as well try to work with it, adapt to the best of his ability. That seems like the only logical conclusion. Keep you close, but not too close, and to avoid exposing any affections beyond very simple appreciation for your help and presence, at least until he has full security that he can afford to do otherwise.

He doesn't initiate it, but gladly welcomes it when you start to seek him out elsewhere. You learn you have the same lunch period during most of the week, and a few electives together. You don't always talk to or sit next to him, but you sort of rotate between your friends, so he gets to interact with you some of the time.

The other times, though, you opt to talk to others instead. Turns out you're getting along quite well with several people on campus since you showed up here. He just sort of waits at the beginning of the class to see whether or not you'll come to him, or if you go to someone else.

If it's the former, he's certainly happy about it, perhaps almost a bit relieved that that was your choice. You would never get the impression it was what he was hoping for, though, he ensures that. Refrains from looking up when you enter a room, stares blankly down at a paper or textbook on the desk, as if not paying attention, giving no semblance of caring either way, merely watching you from the corner of his eye, and pretending to only notice your presence the moment you sit down.

Whenever it's the latter, he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel an increasingly sharp sense of disappointment. Perhaps a bit of irritation. A strange, gnawing feeling in his stomach, a tightness to his chest. Very opposing feelings, ones that he soon realizes linger with him the entire day. If you choose to talk to him, the rest of his day feels great, and if not, he finds himself a bit disgruntled for the rest of the day. It feels embarrassing for something so simple to be affecting him to such an extent, but he can't control the emotional aspect.

That begins to create a greater concern.

A bit of worry that this initially unwelcome sentiment of affection is starting to create some other, more problematic feelings. Ones that feel harder to handle.

It's more of a subconscious worry, at first, a faint uneasiness that largely rests at the back of his mind. The full extent of the realization comes as a sudden occurrence, one day, when you don't show up at the end of the day for the first time in a while, seeing as you've started coming by to help him out on a daily basis now.

He's a bit disappointed, sure. But it's no big deal, it's not as if you ever agreed to come every day or anything, you're certainly under no obligation to do so, it's incredibly generous for you to come at all in the first place.

...You could have said something, though, you know.

It's not as if you don't see him throughout the day in passing, in class. It's completely voluntary to begin with, so of course it's not necessary for you to tell him if you're coming or not, nor does he take it as a rudeness that you didn't, it's just... you could have. It would have been appreciated. After all, now he has to wonder where you are, which leads him to contemplate the very small possibility that something might be wrong, which causes unnecessary worry that he could have been spared had you just bothered to stop him for a second, or send a message with a single sentence since you exchanged numbers a while back, neither of which would have taken very long... but that's a selfish mentality, so he tells himself. Obviously you must be spending time with other people doing other things, like anyone does, which you have every right to do.

He can't help but wonder with whom, though. A few people come to mind, he mentally goes down the list of people he sees you with most frequently and at what time of day he sees you with each one...

Which is something he only now realizes he's subconsciously been keeping track of. But that's force of habit, he has to be observant like that... okay, no, it's not, it's definitely more than that, he can't lie to himself. The force of habit does contribute, but nonetheless.

Still, if he runs down the list, given the time of day and day of the week, he can come up with one most likely possibility, and a couple lesser possibilities, as to your current location, company, and activity. The fair degree of certainty is reassuring.

But there's still a knot in his stomach the more he thinks about it. His hands keep working, but his mind is playing imagery and words in his imagination, things you might be talking about and saying and doing and what others might be saying back to you and it's a very, very, very awful feeling.

Soon enough, he's forced to snap back to awareness when he realizes the task he was working on is done while his mind was elsewhere, and nearly an hour has passed. He should probably go home and get started on food for the evening.

It's not the direction his feet take him in, though.

It can't hurt to check just for a second. Besides, it's only like a five minute detour, so he might as well. Just a brisk walk through a few halls, down a few doors, just barely peeking over a door window to ensure he remains unseen.

Sure enough, he was right. You're just sitting around and talking. He makes a quick mental note of the other individuals in the room, tries to listen in for a moment before realizing it's (unfortunately) too muffled to be clearly heard, then turns around and goes home.

And ends up sitting on the edge of the bed, elbow to each thigh and head resting on each respective hand, staring at the wall, running through the events of the past hour and a half, fully realizing the significance of how unusual and intense his behavior was. He was aware of it even in the moment, sure, but the momentary impulse overrode any sense of reason. It's a mistake he tells himself not to make again.

But he knows the feeling is increasing. The intensity is getting worse and worse with each passing day. While he's careful not to be careless about it, he finds himself making a habit of checking on you on the days you don't come around to see him. The fact that there even are such days, seeing you with other people doing something else, starts to upset him more and more, to the extent he starts thinking about it at random throughout the day. Each occurrence of such thoughts striking him with a feeling of bitterness that makes him clench his jaw, curl his hands into fists, even respond more bluntly than he normally would to other people when approached -- he even overheard, on one such occasion, after giving a frustrated what? to someone that approached him, the same student remarking to someone else that the vice housewarden has been in a really poor mood lately, to which the other seemed to agree.

The potential consequences of it all does worry him. But his response to these emotions, and understanding of them, isn't quite what you might expect.

Unlike almost anyone else would be, he's not concerned or confused by the acknowledgement of the fact that he has abnormally intense, compulsive, obsessive attachment. He's not really alarmed by realizing what's happening.

See, most people go through a reckoning phase, having to do with their self-image. Most see themselves as a good person, and struggle to come to terms with their actions and thoughts — ultimately either coming to terms with the wrongness of what they want, or deluding themselves.

But Jamil is no stranger to having nefarious urges, nor does he have any real issues with acceptance of the reality of his desires. But more importantly, part of what makes him such a force to be reckoned with, and gives him such frightening potential for success as an obsessive, is a lack of any compulsion to prescribe to conventional morality, nor any feeling of need to justify his own actions. He's fully aware that the ideas in his head and urges in his thoughts are "wrong," there's no period of self-bargaining or attempting to rationalize or justify anything to himself, no attempts at self-delusion. He's just perfectly fine with accepting that he wants to do things considered immoral.

In fact, completely unlike Kalim, he's almost unnervingly self-aware. There may have been a bit of confusion, or very brief attempts to justify his actions to himself in the beginning, but after the initial realizations take place, he becomes acutely and immediately aware of every thought, every action.

He wouldn't think of himself as a bad person, but unlike most people, he doesn't think of himself as a particularly good person either. In fact, he finds the thought of people who believe themselves to be fully good to be rather exasperating and foolish. Do people really believe themselves to be innately good, that they won't act on selfish desires? He's never understood that.

It's not at all uncommon, nor is he any stranger to strong sentiments. Everyone has heard of such a thing before. It's common enough that you often hear advice of obsessive lovers being something to be avoided, meaning that while it's viewed negatively, the frequency of its occurrence indicates that it's not particularly abnormal. One could even argue it's innate in some people, some leftover instinct from more primitive days of the human species. There's plenty of cases of it in media, in the news, accounts you see from people who were subject to such a thing, and even plenty of cases in folklore. They say the great Sorcerer himself used to be fond enough of a princess to try and kill someone over her, or something like that.

It ties into his own self-perception too, his honesty to himself about his personhood. Someone who would develop such urges and feelings... yeah, he can see that happening to him. At first, it actually doesn't seem to make sense, but the more he thinks about it, the more it does make sense, after a long while of contemplating it almost amusingly, as if he's a third party analyzing someone else, and not himself. It checks out, he supposes. Irksome and inconvenient that that would develop in him, but there's no use trying to fight those kinds of urges when, based on his own observations and accounts of such things, the people who tend to have such tendencies always seem to have it in such a way that is clearly an innate part of their psychology, thus pointless to avoid, and better dealt with by adapting and adjusting. Oh well.

Those sorts of cases frequently end poorly for the individual in question, but those are normal people, with normal levels of control and cunning. By contrast, he knows himself well enough to know he has high restraint and inhibition, so the risk of acting out and drawing attention is near nonexistent, and he's patient and calculated enough that he's fairly certain he can act out the ideas he begins to have without risk of consequence.

Because there would be negative consequence, he's sure of that. The extent and intensity of his emotions is at a point that it could be considered erratic or obsessive, as he already knows full well, and would cause alarm if you or anyone else became aware of it. Even if, say, you were to return the feelings to a normal extent, even if you like him, he still has no doubt that the full intensity of what he is capable of, the malicious and unethical nature of many of the urges themselves, would almost certainly cause you to change your mind. So even if you respond positively, he has to keep that in check.

But acknowledging the potential consequences of acting out of line aside, he's surprisingly very unbothered it, for someone who is coming to the realization that they have feelings and urge for behaviors that go beyond the conventions of normalcy or what is considered "heathy." The latter of which he just rolls his eyes at; he's always been convinced that most people condemning emotions as "unhealthy" are really just trying to get people to conform to social norms -- hey, if he wants to let himself be slowly consumed by resentment over the course of his entire life, that's his business, you know? Same thing applies here. Abiding by the cultural norms and social expectations of a "healthy relationship" and "being ethical" is just a roundabout way of stopping him from doing what he wants and won't get him the results he desires, so no need to even try to listen to such nonsense.

Alongside all of that, he has remarkable persuasion skills, can lie and act very convincingly if needed. Difficult to catch off-guard, has planned out interactions and alternate paths to take in case one avenue doesn't work out. Always prepared for almost anything that could go wrong. He's patient, cunning, intelligent, perceptive... all traits you do not want in someone with his intentions. He's fairly good at concealing emotions as well -- sure, sometimes a bit of it may slip out here and there, but he's still infinitely better at it than the vast majority of people.

All of this combined — lack of concern for ethics, high self-awareness, fairly high ability to mask his emotions, unhesitating acceptance of the realization of forming an obsession, high intelligence and perceptiveness, great patience, and high impulse control in favor of cunning premeditation — makes him an unusually highly effective obsessive with an almost alarming capacity for harm and success. One of the most unfortunate individuals in the establishment you could end up catching the affections of, in terms of your chances of things ending well for you.

Not that there aren't a few moments where it slips through, just the occasional word or gesture. He's still better than virtually anyone else at concealing emotions, but nonetheless, those emotions are the ones that may just come out, if but for a moment.

You end up missing a few more days of helping him in a row. Friends invited you out to a couple of events. You didn't really think anything of it, at least, not until you come back to your usual routine, on what would have been the fourth day of absence if you hadn't come.

He's already not the most talkative person in the world, but you quickly notice an unusual curtness to his tone. Usually, if you sit down and open with a how was your day?, he'll shrug, say nothing eventful occurred, or make a small mention of something that happened if something eventful did occur.

This time, though, you get a much more brief answer. It was fine.

The tone of his voice is clearly cold, almost passive-aggressive. You tilt your head and ask if something happened, if something's wrong. You get a similarly curt answer.

No.

But as he tends to do with regards to his own behavior, he catches himself, realizes how it comes off. For a brief moment, the realization is actually a bit embarrassing -- he knows getting bitter over such a thing is immature behavior. So he corrects it, shakes his head as if clearing his thoughts, comes up with something about being momentarily distracted and answering on a mental autopilot so as to seem that he was just not paying attention, and asks you to repeat the question, this time forcing out a regular calm demeanor as if not upset.

This, the initial disgruntlement goes more or less unregistered in your memory. You do notice, though, as you continue talking, that he asks more than once about how your week has been -- you answer with a general statement that it's been good and just regular life, nothing out of the ordinary, but apparently that answer isn't quite sufficient.

And what have you been doing these past few days?

He nearly bites his tongue as soon as he says it. That came out a bit more forward and obvious than it sounded in his head. Thankfully, a quick glance upward from his task shows no indication of perturbance on your end, as you merely smile and answer in full, giving a few details of what you've been up to. Hanging out with friends, primarily. He has to refrain from asking specifically whom, seeing as at that point, further questioning on the matter would probably even strike you as oddly intrusive. He'll just have to leave it at that.

Likewise, he'll have to accept you doing whatever you want with your spare time. Any indication that he feels any other way or trying to influence your decision would certainly be noticed, and perceived as strange. It's not like he's entitled to your time... that is, from the perspective of general social consensus. He knows that reasonably, from an objective standpoint, he isn't entitled to that. Even if he might personally feel that way.

He does seem distracted, throughout the rest of the day, has to get you to repeat yourself a few times after seemingly spacing out. But he's always rather busy and under a lot of stress, you have no reason to think anything of it.

He truly does do a good job of concealing his thoughts and feelings. Most obsessive admirers would have long since cracked and shown their true colors by now, as the months go by. His is just tiny little slip-ups, every now and then, much like the first one. Primarily a slight coldness and bitterness to his demeanor whenever you go a significant amount of days without coming by. It only lasts for a few moments before he corrects it, but you do occasionally start to take notice of it. Still, that doesn't seem too out of the ordinary. You're friends, so you can understand he'd be a bit upset, when you think about it, and he's under a lot of stress anyway. Much to his satisfaction, you actually seem to take notice and correct the behavior all on your own, as you gradually stop having significant gaps in days between seeing him, and even on days you aren't coming, you now usually send a message.

There was also that time you stayed in for the day due to feeling sick, and woke up after a long sickness-induced nap to four back-to-back messages, one every hour or so from the time class sessions start, increasingly concerned by your lack of reply. Which is perhaps a bit much, but the messages abruptly stop around noon, as if realizing it was a bit too intense and backing down. But in all fairness, it's only natural to be concerned, so you appreciate it, if anything.

Then there was also the time you had that one guy that kept seeming to try to get close to you for a while, someone you'd worked with in one of your classes once and got along well with. The two of them had never interacted to your knowledge, until you were talking one day and another familiar face came up seemingly out of nowhere. Rather forcefully intruding on the conversation with an uncharacteristic bluntness and coldness, and a near tangible aura of hostility, a glare distinguishable even to you.

Yes, it was definitely too forward, and certainly both the most impulsive act and the largest blunder he's made so far, but it was borderline torture standing there up on the second floor, watching from the window, unable to do anything. He manages to at least somewhat defend himself, and hopefully quell any irritation or confusion you might have had, by telling you later in private that the individual in question is in fact known to be of poor character, manipulative and two-faced, so people say, and was probably intending to take advantage of your kind nature. You seem to accept that, much to his relief, and even express some gratitude. Unfortunately, though, he won't be able to use that excuse again without seeming suspicious, so he just has to hope you don't start to get close to someone with obviously non-platonic intentions again.

Still. It's not as if he can just take the risk, nor does he think that a simple intimidating interaction will deter the other guy entirely. Other measures must be taken.

To you, though, it's just a confirmation that Jamil was right, once the guy gets expelled. Apparently he attacked someone at random, became violent with a group of students and apparently injured one to such an extent that the administration didn't even just give him a strike, but viewed it as grounds for immediate expulsion. You mention it, when you're visiting Jamil as usual later that day, with concern and shock over the incident in your voice as you ask if he heard about it.

He just shrugs. See, told you... ah, but it's not your fault you didn't realize it. Some people are just very good at concealing their true natures, you know? But it's good that you distanced yourself from the guy before anything bad happened to you. You voice your concurrence with that statement.

And yet, after that guy disappears, so does Jamil, at least during those same time blocks. He goes back to not being around during that time, leaving you to find new people to talk to during that time instead. After all, he doesn't want to come across as clingy. Settling for returning to the window position allows for greater scope of observation, anyway.

Jamil engages in a great deal of his fixation from a distance, with you unaware of his presence. He won't necessarily come up and talk to you, but he'll watch you from across a room, from a window looking down on you below, from a shadow a ways away from the crowds and groups you're busy interacting with. He doesn't have to worry about unintentionally being suffocating, this way, while still knowing what you're doing. It's actually a process that often makes him upset, an irritating swelling feeling to his chest, because people like you far more than he would prefer, and now he's forced to watch. Not that he would want people to dislike you either, that would probably hurt your self-esteem and... ah, whatever. It's just irksome to see people gather around you so much. It would be preferable if your presence wasn't treated as something of a spectacle on the campus, but there's nothing he can do about that.

He's even more careful not to make mistakes and show affection than he is careful about negative emotions, but that doesn't mean positive emotions don't also sometimes show as well.

You're far too nice to him, for one thing. You just have to go on these spiels about how much you appreciate his help with various things, or when he thanks you for helping you just have to smile so sweetly and say you enjoy it, that you're glad you get to come by and all... it's one of a few ways to make him genuinely flustered, unable to look you in the eye, all stiff and fidgety as he mumbles something about how it's appreciated, and that you don't have to feel pressured to and whatnot. You have a tendency to say too-nice things that leave him feeling all hot in the face and embarrassed for the rest of the day. Just like the initial feeling of attachment itself, it's almost unpleasant in its own way, and yet, it's addictive.

You still just barely notice the slip-ups, if at all. Those times where he maybe gets just a bit too close, talks to you for a bit too long, seems a little bit too nosy asking what you've done today or prying for details on a conversation you had with someone else -- before he catches himself, correcting the mistake by switching topics or coming up with a reason to leave so as not to linger too long. Can't give you the impression that he wants to stay around you for much longer, can't come off as desperate or vulnerable.

Little things like that. Mostly tiny little mistakes, and besides, he's increasingly even more careful not to make such errors, often getting a bit panicked after each one and becoming stricter in the future. None of it ever crosses the line of what would really catch your attention as something abnormal or something that would induce any concern.

It carries on for some time like that. His self-control allows him to maintain a state of limbo, where he can keep himself in check, not doing anything he shouldn't nor making any move to take anything further, but ensuring you stay close, that you don't drift away. Making sure there are no more issues with people becoming too close to you in ways he doesn't like.

But much to his satisfaction, you seem to grow closer anyway, without him having to take any sort of action to do so. You come by more than ever, and he likes the implications of the fact that you come to see him so often.

He tends to be a bit more open to sharing thoughts and observations normally kept reserved to you, too, as he grows more comfortable talking to you. A bit more openly negative and sardonic. It's not even intentional, really, it happens subconsciously at first. He's just never had an outlet before, and once he does, it becomes such a source of catharsis that one day, after making a slightly negative comment, to which you inquire about the matter, he finds himself starting to perhaps say a bit too much. Unloading all of his frustrations and bottled up negativity. Initially, he catches himself doing it and cuts himself off after a few moments, starting to apologize and saying something about being irritable as he didn't sleep much the night before or something like that.

But you shake your head.

Oh, come on, it's fine. You don't have to pretend around me, you know?

He pauses for a moment... but shrugs, starts to return to voicing the same thoughts. He still won't fully express his feelings, then, but if you're fine with it... it can't hurt to talk about some of his frustrations and complaints. If anything, you seem to find some of the comments amusing, snickering at some of the more sarcastic mutterings. It actually feels quite nice. It's something he hasn't ever really had before, usually having to keep all his negative thoughts to himself. In the end, you end up unwinding too, complaining about this or that. A cathartic session for you both, and you end up sharing a few smiles and laughs over some of each other's accounts and shared annoyances.

It would seem, though, that his efforts to grow closer to you do pay off. It's pleasing. It feels like it's "going somewhere," so to speak, that all the conversations have progressed to being closer and closer; which is, of course, what he would hope for.

Eventually, he figures it can't hurt to try and push for some progress himself. Yes, perhaps he can afford to try and make some small push forward, little by little. He takes the same approach as he does to most matters -- quietly, patiently, avoiding risky, bold, reckless actions in favor of a gradual and calculated plan.

What he decides on doing does require him to take some initiative and ask, although he chose a group event rather than anything you'd be by yourselves for. Just one of the many large dorm-wide social events they have in Scarabia on a regular basis, although this one in particular is supposed to be for something special or another. You agree to it, with a smile at that. It's very reassuring.

Except it turns out that that presents a brand new problem.

Well, part of a larger problem. As he's observed, you've been mingling with different people, forming a friend group during your time on the campus. He would know, he's been watching very carefully and making note of each person, and may or may not have interfered once or twice behind the scenes to prevent you from interacting with individuals he would prefer you not to.

One, however, has not only slipped through any attempts to deter interaction, but apparently has avoided registering on his radar of who you interact with entirely. The only conclusion is that you must have had all your interactions during those times where he can't watch over you. Just perfectly, by the narrowest of margins, managing to grow close to each other, somehow exclusively during those few times he's had his back turned and off fulfilling some other responsibilities, completely unbeknownst to him until this very moment.

Or so he learns, when you arrive, smile when you see him, immediately making your way over to him to talk... until something else catches your attention, something behind him. Your eyes flicker to something just over his shoulder, something he can hear approaching with rapid footsteps and saying your name. Something that quickly swerves around him in favor of lunging at you and grabbing you into an enthusiastic embrace.

...What.

It feels like some sort of cruel joke from a higher power. Like the will of the universe is to spite him. Like being a comedic relief character where the running gag is his constant misfortune. He finds himself standing there, arms limp at his sides, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, eye twitching as he looks back and forth between the two of you.

But... but how did... when did you... you never mentioned... why...

You're clearly overwhelmed, though, you have that awkward smile where you're clearly uncomfortable but don't say anything to be nice... so after a moment of pause (as soon as he finishes mentally cursing his very existence to whatever force of the universe is listening, that is), he doesn't hesitate to reach out, grab and pull the invasive creature off of you by the shirt collar.

Kalim, you're being suffocating.

Not that those words deter the other boy for even a second. Other than a brief choking sound at sudden jerking motion pulling the front of his clothes against his throat, he immediately recovers, bright-eyed as he gets out an apology, smiling all the while, and continues rambling about something else, until being interrupted.

I didn't realize you two even knew each other.

It takes every ounce of his willpower to force those words out in a way that sounds neutral and curious rather than like he's about to strangle him to death, but he manages. You smile and start to clarify that oh, yes, you have this or that class together and have talked a few times... which just so happens to take place during the longest stretch of the day that he has to go without seeing you, which he frequently worries about. How incredibly coincidental. Haha. Anyway, if you'll excuse him for just one second, he has to go check on something to ensure that the students have everything ready--

--which is actually him walking off to the nearest secluded spot and slamming his fist into the wall with all the force he can muster without breaking his fingers. Takes a deep breath in, deep breath out. Okay. That was cathartic enough to hopefully get him through the night with minimal homicidal urges.

Kalim seems absolutely determined to test that, however. You would think he was the one who invited you here, given the fact that he seems dead-set on monopolizing your time and attention in every conceivable way. He can barely get a word in, can barely say anything to you for a few seconds without getting interrupted. At several points throughout the night you quite literally get dragged away by the wrist to go look at something or participate in something, while he sits there left with nothing to do but seethe over it, trying to distract himself by taking in all the stimulus of the crowded lounge, lest the violent urges start getting the best of him because he's about arm's length away from several very sharp objects on the table and it's starting to get a bit too tempting. By the time midnight rolls around, he's barely gotten to spend any time with you at all. He's pretty sure you've actually been trying to keep coming back and talk to him, but keep getting dragged off and are too nice to say anything about it.

Normally, he's masterful at keeping his outward emotional expressions in check. But for once, he finds himself so deeply upset, such a tight feeling in his chest, that he can't sit there and bear it with a blank face like he normally does with everything else. He ends up having to walk away, quietly slipping away to go walk it off to sulk and seethe alone.

The campus is fairly empty this late, so it's easy to get some fresh air by oneself as he mulls over it. Even though he's by himself, he sighs, has to stop and pinch at and rub the bridge of his nose in irritation. Getting this worked up over a crush, what is he, a grade schooler? It's embarrassing, even if he's the only one who knows. Even having what would be called a "crush" is embarrassing, really, it feels infantile. It seems like something that would be laughable if other people caught onto it. Ugh.

He keeps walking, until he's out of the dorm, slowly moping his way across the campus, long since gone quiet and still due to the lateness of the hour, no one else around. Makes his way over to a bench in an empty campus building.

Finally he gets to just sit down, takes a deep breath in, deep breath out, tries to relax the tension in his shoulders, tries to calm down. Mentally forces himself to clear his thoughts, leaving a blank slate so he can transition to thinking about something else to hopefully take his mind off things, and just allows the first thought that pops up to come to the forefront of his mind. Unfortunately, that thought is:

Which one do you like more?

Dammit. Can't clear his mind after all.

And God, that feels childish. Like how young kids quarrel over who is the best friend of someone else. Just thinking about it feels embarrassing, even if the thought is just to himself.

But it does seem like question that has an answer. After all, when he thinks about it, he can form a pretty solid ranking in his head of acquaintances, and which ones he's more fond of than others. Surely you have the same.

No, that's a stupid question. Obviously it would be him.

...Right?

Yes, it's a ridiculous question because it's obvious. You spend more time with him, you know him far better... it's a foolish question, he shouldn't even be worried.

Still, he can't get rid of the gnawing, unpleasant feeling in his chest, it's eating away at him, driving him up the wall. It takes a while before he can bring himself to go back.

By the time he does so, though, it's fairly late into the night, you're clearly exhausted (no doubt largely due to having your energy essentially siphoned out of you), you speak in that sort of "departure" tone as people do when they're indicating the end of a visit as you say that well, I should be getting back...

Maybe it's the heat of the moment, the lateness of the night drawing out impulsiveness, the possessive irritation and intense emotions, perhaps some need to feel reassurance, some sense of reclaiming something, that emboldens him. Maybe he's still just irked about not having gotten to spend any real time with you. Or maybe his earlier crisis has left him with a desperate need for confirmation. Regardless, for once, his impulse wins over his inhibition, over any self-control. He finds the words coming out without thinking.

It's rather late. You could just stay with me, if you want.

He stiffens as soon as the words come out of his mouth.

It's not as if you're that naive. It would be one thing if he said there was a spare room or something, but directly telling you you can stay in his own room has very obvious implications that he definitely can't excuse his way out of, and he's fairly certain you're definitely not at that point, at least not yet, and his skin crawls at the realization that saying that most likely just ruined any chances of ever reaching that if anything. All that effort, all this time and careful planning, and he may have very well knocked all that down in one sentence.

He starts to try and back out of it, heartrate going up with a moment of panic, opening his mouth and getting out a brief stammering attempt — ah, nevermind, if you don't—

Okay!

There's a few moments of quiet. Blinking at you with a numb expression before seemingly processing your words. You've never seen him undergo quite such a loss of composure within a second, eyes going wide open and stumbling over his words.

I... Well, a... alright. Then, you... I'll, ah, it's over there...

But it's endearing, really. You find yourself smiling while you walk back. He keeps talking about something else entirely, as if to distract you both from any acknowledgement of the exchange that just occurred. At least he manages to successfully distract you into looking at something off in the distance once you reach the room so you don't see the slight tremor to his hands getting the door unlocked and open.

The night lasts a long time. You can still hear the muffled sound of the noise going on outside as the other students continue to do whatever it is they're all doing (some collective game or another, being far too loud), but you manage to talk at least loud enough to hear yourselves over them... and continue to talk... and sit down... and then you lay down... and then you're both side by side... and then your legs brush up against each other... and then there's a few awkward moments of silence...

You do like him quite a bit, so, you're fine with it. He doesn't flinch or pull back when you lean over onto him, doesn't shift when you pull yourself closer, instead wrapping an arm around you. One thing leads to another, as such matters tend to go over. It's awkward at first, of course, like most friend-to-lover situations are -- once the heat of the moment is over, you're left panting and sweaty and you both sort of look up at the same moment and your eyes meet. A few seconds of silence pass. For such a composed person, you've never seen him quite so flustered... but it's cute. You find yourself grinning and giggling and reveling in the ecstasy.

You're happy about it. You get the sense he's happy about it too. You fall asleep pretty quickly, enveloped by warmth.

And he is happy. Truly. It doesn't even feel real.

But he's also very, very worried. Panicked. It begins to set in before he can even properly appreciate the bliss of the moment.

Even if you are willingly with him, even if you love him, that almost makes things worse, because now he has to work with the fact that the social expectation is to increase time with you and that he can be more openly attached, but still have to be careful not to go too far. Not to mention, this makes things more fragile. Riskier. Doesn't it? You're going to be more observant. It will be harder to hide certain behaviors from you. You'll be more careful and critical of what he does as a natural means of protecting yourself, you'll notice any slips of the tongue he might have gotten away with before.

Besides, this part is just one step of many, so he can't afford to relax. He thinks back to that same concept as before, that the social interworkings of all this sort of thing is like a game, a competition. If he lets his guard down and assumes everything is fine now, that just opens the possibility of being caught unprepared if something bad does happen. No, now he has to be even more vigilant and even more protective than before, and more careful of limits.

Nor are said expectations and their limits always clear. Where does the line of acceptable behavior get drawn? Does it not vary from person to person, from one act to the next? He can't afford to find out by trial and error, either, that's too risky.

For a short while, he contemplates if maybe he could get away with just one or two small abnormalities. After all, everyone has flaws, and people expect that partners will have flaws. Can he outright tell you to not interact with a specific person? Is that normal? No, that would definitely be seen as controlling. There's definitely some things he can determine by thinking it through like that, but that doesn't apply to every situation, which is the greatest concern.

And perhaps more importantly, it makes everything feel harder to deal with. It was easier when he had to refrain entirely. Now, it's one of those situations where having a taste of something makes one all that much more weak to craving for it, makes it all that much more alluring than when you had no concept of what the experience was truly like before.

At least his nerves are calmed by the fact that you spend more time in his presence. He doesn't have to deal with intrusive thoughts of concern about what you're doing and if something could be wrong at any given moment.

Perhaps most relieving of all is that other people seem to back off to a greater extent than they already did. You must have told people.

Well, most people. Most people back off, seem to respect him enough to give you two a bit of space while still being friendly towards you both. Don't get too physically close when talking to you, and certainly don't touch you.

Except for one.

The only upside to you being so close to Kalim is that, by extension, you see him more often than you would have just him on his own, as the two are often together. Granted, you're obviously spending more time with him anyway, but now that he's with you more often, that means he gets to witness you two interact, and on the rare occasion you were seeking out Kalim for something, he's usually there too.

You two get along very well. Which he's very frequently forced to bear witness to for the entire duration of your interactions, quietly sitting there with a clenched jaw and fingernails digging into his thighs and the occasional eye twitch that hopefully goes unnoticed. At the same time, that's comforting in its own way, as he can directly witness it rather than have to be psychologically tormented by knowing you two interact but not knowing the details and specifics.

But unlike how Jamil himself would give plenty of space to Kalim and a darling, Kalim does not do the same for him. He's still talkative with you, and touchy too. Far too much for the sake of sanity. He constantly grabs at you, hugs you when he sees you (for several extended seconds, not just for a moment), gets far too close into your personal space when talking. On more than one occasion, he's insisted on trailing along with you two for this or that venture, being an oblivious third wheel — which is made far worse by the fact that you don't seem to mind at all, paying them both equal amounts of attention.

At first, he tries to apply some reason to it. Maybe he thinks it's fine since the two of them are inherently close. Maybe he doesn't realize just how intense he is, or doesn't think he's passing the boundaries of what's considered acceptable. Or...

...And then he realizes that that's giving Kalim's intellect way too much credit. No, it's just how he is, nothing more. He's just outright not thinking about it.

This can become an issue, to say the least. Over time, he does his best to try and avoid you both coming into contact, tries to memorize schedules and give Kalim a wide berth to ensure minimal contact. Nonetheless, of course, it doesn't always work. He finds himself grinding his teeth, stiffening up as he watches you two interact. A person with less self-control would have certainly put the boy in a chokehold at least once by now, but he manages to bite his tongue. Can't just let him have this one thing in peace? Have something to himself? No, of course not, of course he has to be the one to suffer like this... despite the thoughts in his head, he has to be careful not to let that pessimism show in any form of outward bitterness, has to keep a neutral face and mildly exasperated voice at best, pretending any frustration towards the other is due to his high energy and antics and not the fact that just watching you two talk ignites violent instincts he didn't even know he possessed. But there's not much else he can do other than tolerate it.

Besides, it's not as if that's the only person he has to worry about either. Now that you're actually attached to him, he has to ensure that you stay that way, seeing as plenty of people would gladly take his place. But rather than just dealing with others, part of keeping you means making sure you're attached to him.

Unfortunately for you, this does not manifest as exceptional kindness towards you, nor trying to please you, or anything of the sort.

Sure, he could be sweet to you, shower you with affection and attention and gifts and so on... but that is a form of "losing." Making it too obvious that he needs you. There's a chance you'd get bored. After all, why take the "wholesome" way, when that isn't guaranteed? Especially when what is so often deemed the wrong way of doing things, has a guarantee to work. Frankly, that way has a higher success rate, so he sees no reason not to take it.

He has plenty of subtle, conniving means of prying into your mind without you really noticing it's intentional. You, well, you're incredibly easy to manipulate -- and that's a good thing. He likes it that way. Every single trick in the book, you respond perfectly.

It's fairly easy to discern any insecurities you have, some he was already aware of and some that become more evident as you become more emotionally open around him. So he can pick some nice words and compliments that are just a little bit backhanded, have the slightest of implication of a double-meaning shortcoming or insult laden in them, you visibly seem to notice, and sure enough, it's only a matter of time before you express some insecurity over the the thing in question -- and he's right there to assure you that it's entirely fine, or even appreciated... the unspoken implication being that yes, the thing you're insecure about is true, but he likes it. Worded in just the right way so that you won't feel like it's intentional, no, you're sure he had the best of intentions and meant to make you feel good, but it just came out the wrong way, or you're just being too sensitive, or he's just being how guys can be where they're a bit obtuse to how their words might not be as helpful as they intend. He's clearly trying to make you feel happy, right? You appreciate that in its own right.

Besides, it's easy to reassure you with physical affections, too. That becomes another frequent element of your day to day life... he's a fairly restrained person in public, and much prefers being alone and behind closed doors rather than being together while around others. Besides, even if not just for getting to interact more directly with you, being alone in the dorm means being able to relax and unwind... and get out any stress. Which he has a great deal of -- you can't even begin to imagine the level of stress this boy has pent up, given the hectic nature of his daily life.

He's not particularly "kinky," per se, not really into any particular paraphilias or extreme forms of bondage or use of much tools, so much as he is simply rough. He tends to grab rather hard. Likes holding you down the whole time in some way, restraining some part of you with his own hands, often pinning your forearms down or grabbing the underside of your knees and pressing your thighs against your chest with force. His hand often ends up on your throat. He has a tendency to be rather harsh with it overall, merely rutting into you with animal-like forcefulness, leaving you exhausted and sore... although he at least seems to get flustered about it after the fact, mumbling apologies and getting you water, holding you close and all that.

You do notice some of the more... aggressive elements of the his sexuality, but it doesn't concern you. It's fairly common for someone of his age and sex and all that, and besides, it's normal for people's sexual tendencies to be non-reflective of their character otherwise. You have no reason to think of it as anything worth noting, and no negative thoughts cross your mind, other than the soreness and the tendency for bruising. If anything, the whole "gap moe" between the roughness in the heat of the moment and his usual collectedness versus the sheepishness afterwards is rather cute, really, that that's the one thing that such a normally composed person as himself can get easily embarrassed by. It reaches a point where you're more or less used as some kind of stress toy... but you don't mind at all. It does make you feel loved, which is also a critical part of the intent.

But outside of direct expressions of affection, he ensures he's very subtle in his ways. Being outwardly nosy would just irritate you.

Sure, he wonders what you're looking at whenever you stare at your phone screen, but doesn't fall for the urge to lean over and look, you'd probably find that annoying. He just waits until you go to sleep to look through it, checking the times of certain messages being sent, scrolling through conversations each night until reaching the point of the last time he checked, occasionally taking screenshots and sending them to himself before going back and deleting both the messages on your end and the photos themselves.

Likewise, he doesn't linger around when you're talking on the phone trying to have a private conversation or the like, no, he just quietly gets his own phone out, opens the audio recording app, and leaves it in the room while he goes off to do something else, plays it back later when you're not around. He doesn't ask who certain people are and why you interact with them, instead opting to do some digging on his own time, seeing as there's plenty of online information on nearly everyone, or simply networks his way around into finding out more about a certain person.

All very carefully ensuring you don't perceive any clinginess, any obsessiveness or possessiveness. Nothing that would annoy you or turn you off. He manages to never really appear very bothered or curious about anything, and never exhibits any behavior that would ever lead you to even consider the possibility of what is actually happening in reality. You would never think of him as anything but a very healthy partner — in fact, more so than the average person, he doesn't exhibit any of the controlling or intrusive behaviors you hear people complain about in their own partners. You think of him as an exemplary one.

But nonetheless, every now and then, as time goes on, he starts to just barely get this sense that he's too close to reaching a point where things become unbalanced against him. That whole concept he was worried about, where you might feel like he needs you more than you need him -- and while he's fairly certain that's true, he can't have you sensing it. Yes, he's sure you're starting to get bored, to get complacent, and soon you'll probably want something new and more exciting. The fact that he's essentially surrounded by an ocean of competition doesn't help his nerves. He's practically like some poor animal trying to protect its kill from a horde of other predators that would gladly steal it from him the moment he looks away for so much as a second.

But if he's outwardly worried, insecure about it, comes across as desperate or needy, that will only turn you off to him.

So he takes an entirely different approach.

Suddenly, you find that he seems to be oddly absent. You've developed a habit of walking to certain classes together, but suddenly he stops showing up to the regular spot where you meet up. Disappears and is nowhere to be found during your lunch periods. Doesn't send as many texts. When you do see him, he seems absent-minded or distracted, not spending more than a small amount of time before apologizing and claiming to have something needing to be dealt with before disappearing again. Is suddenly unable to spend the night over, claiming to be busy with something. In truth, he's just gone back to watching you from a distance... but you don't know that, of course. And, although it is greatly difficult on his end, he has to even refrain from being as physically affectionate, often standing, keeping his laptop on his lap while working and so on, so you can't lean onto or embrace as easily, and even more painfully, not being able to spend nights over means having to sleep alone without your affectionate snuggles, and having to just jerk off when he could be inside you instead. Sigh... such painful efforts to go to for the sake of security.

It works perfectly. It becomes clear in no time at all that you're a bit hurt by it, which quickly turns into outright concern and insecurity. You get this sad look on your face whenever he "has to" leave, look at the ground. You start to speak in a softer voice when you ask about doing something together later. And, very much to his satisfaction, you stop talking as much to others even compared to when you spent more time with him, opting to sulk by yourself, presumably in too poor of a mood to socialize.

Eventually -- perhaps a bit disappointed and fed up with waiting, as he was really hoping that you would outright address it and ask about his sudden distance, but oh well, perhaps a bit of a push is necessary -- he seems to "realize" how upset you are one afternoon that he (now a rare occurrence) stays with you throughout the day, and you wrap your arms around him, rest your head on his chest.

Ah, I've been neglecting you, haven't I... I've been so busy, I didn't even notice.

You pout, but you nod.

He puts a hand on top of your head. You always seem to like that. Gives you a sort of warm, endeared smile. Ah. Sorry. I'll be more careful. I hope you can forgive me?

He might feel a little bit guilty, sure, but it's also an incredibly satisfying feeling when you nod again. But not so satisfying as what comes after that stage, when he reverts back to suddenly giving you plenty of attention and affection, even apologizing again for the period of neglect, and seeing how happy it makes you. You seem incredibly relieved and ecstatic, you respond more affectionately than you even did before, and perhaps, he can't help but notice, you seem to be even more clingy and desperate to please, as if afraid of losing the closeness again, now that you've regained it.

Next time, it doesn't take you as long to get desperate. Because of course, there is a next time. It's inevitable that the relief and worry wears off just a bit, and he can detect just the slightest subtraction of affection from you as you begin to drift into a "comfortable" state once again. He doesn't like that state. Sure, you're still affectionate, but not as much as he would like. And your affection lacks the sense of neediness and insecurity and clinginess that gives him a sort of exhilarating, ego-boosting high that the "comfortable" levels of affection just doesn't provide. So inevitably, he has to get a bit distant again, although it never takes quite as long as the first time before you get clingy and desperate and you go through the cycle all over again.

Soon you seem to have a constant subconscious level of fear, he doesn't even have to try and distance himself. You'll ask a questions at random that's just an obvious plea for reassurance. You'll check to affirm that you'll be going through the same routine as always the next day where you spend a certain block of time together, followed by a quiet 'right?' that's dripping with the perfect level of insecurity. Your grip around him when you're lounging around and resting against him is always tighter than it was at the very beginning. You're touchier altogether, often leaning and embracing and nuzzling, whereas in the "comfortable" state you might have been on the other side of the room doing your own thing or the like. You start performing little gestures of affection more often. Whenever you're alone at night in one dorm or the other (increasingly often his, as he's more or less convinced you to spend most nights in a dorm that doesn't have ceiling leaks and enough dust to fill a lung), you tend to be more provocative, and not at all subtly, opting to walk around in underwear and having completely ditched those pajamas you were provided with by the administration when you first arrived. You initiate more often, too, oftentimes just randomly latching on and climbing onto his lap and rolling your hips forward, latching your mouth onto his. You wrap your legs around his waist when you're on your back, rather than just having them spread apart, you latch your arms around him and pull him so close your bodies are pressed together, the noises that come out of your throat sound so much more desperate and needy than before.

A back-and-forth, push-and-pull -- the push that puts distance between you just makes you all that much easier to pull back in, and reaps great rewards from you when he finally does.

It's euphoric. It's perfect. It feels like complete and total control. You're so desperate. Whenever you're clinging and pressed up to him afterwards, he often has to pull your head close up against his chest so you don't see his expression. He knows full well there's a sinister sort of glee to the grin on his face, but for once, even he can't refrain.

Well, it's almost perfect. Everything with you is perfect, but there are obstacles that remain preventing everything from being perfect. And at this point, they might as well be dealt with.

Despite all your clinginess and the effectiveness, there are still assigned times for classes and extracurricular responsibilities (which he temporarily thought about abandoning, but that would come off as a bit too needy) that require you to be apart. And during that time, as he's learned from having "accidentally" put his phone in your bag and recording the whole time a few times, he knows what you're doing. Identifies the voices of those you talk to, and can't help but notice that not only are they the same people consistently, but there's one in particular that makes those violent urges flare up again. Hell, he snapped a pencil in half by accident just while listening to the playback.

No matter. He'll just have to resort to his Plan B. It wasn't his first choice, seeing as there are potential complications, but he has no real reservations. He can't put a rift between you and Kalim, unfortunately, as that would likely just become problematic for himself later down the road... he'll have to work with just keeping you two apart, whenever he can't be right there. That's the only real way to deal with that problem.

Besides, he's only a genuine issue during one specific time slot. The schedules of various students aren't always consistent day to day. Some lectures are longer, labs tend to be shorter, so on and so on, people have different time gaps, some students even eat lunch at different times depending on the day of the week.

You have one particular gap of time where you have no classes, but he does. It's not too big of a deal, seeing as you usually just go over to the Scarabia dorm these days and talk to some of the others anyway... but therein lies the issue for him.

On one of those days, you're a few minutes later than usual, as he left his pen sitting on the desk in the last class, and you went back with him just to keep talking, opting to take the extra minute or so to stay together, as it wouldn't be more than a minute or two delay. With the majority of the throng of students already rushed to their next destination, the halls are empty as you reach the spot where you usually part ways until meeting up again later in the day. But as you say something about seeing him later—

Oh, before you go, one more thing.

You pause. You turn your head back around to look at him.

Hm?

...You jolt at the sudden commotion, snapping out of a daze. That big clocktower bell ringing off in the distance at the middle of the campus, followed by the loud sounds of dozens of students' chattering and footsteps as they head on to another class.

Oh, the period is already over.

...Wait, what...?

Your head throbs. You feel dizzy, disoriented. For a brief moment, your surroundings seem to spin around you, until you shake your head in an attempt to clear it, and the feeling seems to go away. But you're not in the spot you were in what seems seconds ago, instead sitting down at a desk. There's a tingly, fuzzy feeling in your head.

Oh, right. You opted to take some time for yourself this time around in an empty classroom because—

...because...?

Right. The book on the desk is open. You were studying. You seem to recall some of the information retained, even if you were sort of spaced out for the duration of the studying itself, everything for the last little while feels like a blur. Was there a test or something coming up? There isn't one today, but you must have remembered to study for a reason. Your mind was preoccupied, one of those moments where you realize you've been spacing out for a long time, so lost in thought that you don't really remember the words your eyes have been scanning over, nor your own actions.

More importantly, you remember talking just before you were about to head off, Jamil was going to tell you something important, but admittedly, you can't remember what he said. You feel sort of bad about it. You just hope it wasn't something too important, like something you were supposed to go pick up or something like that... you're sure to ask later, and apologize for spacing out while you're at it. But it must have been no big deal, based on his own words.

Tell you the truth, I don't recall either... ah, it's been a long day. I'm sure it wasn't important.

You end up making a habit of it. You find yourself ending up in the same spot on that day each week, like clockwork, without even thinking about it. You're pretty sure you gravitate towards doing so out of a need for a brief rest to rejuvenate your energy for the day.

...But it does feel strange. The first time, you dismissed it as just spacing out, and the second time as well, but you keep noticing you follow the pattern without intending to. On the third week, you very specifically told yourself you wouldn't be sitting out today like you had the past two weeks, since you felt plenty energetic and missed talking to Kalim and the others you usually spend that time with... yet found yourself ending up there anyway. Your head always feels fuzzy when you seem to recuperate your energy and alertness. You mentioned it to Jamil once, and he merely told you to just stay consciously aware and not drift off into thought right before that time period... and it did work, at least that one following week. Then it went right back to the other habit, and from then on, you find yourself alternating, sometimes going to be with friends, but quite often ending up by yourself, completely lost in a blank state of mind. You feel dizzy, disoriented. Each time, it feels like there's some sort of gap in your consciousness, like waking up from a dream.

It's not the only sudden onset of odd occurrences, either.

The first occasion of the other occurrence leaves you entirely bewildered. You did notice that one of your friends seemed to avoid you for a few days in a row, but you figured he was just busy, so you're caught off-guard when he comes up to you looking down, apologetic expression on his face.

Hey, I just wanted to apologize again for the other day... I don't know what I did, but I'm really sorry if I upset you...

You find yourself in a confused stupor for a few moments, unsure of what is even being addressed. After a moment, your following questioning prompts the boy to elaborate on how you exploded out of nowhere... I figured you must have been really mad at me for something... followed by a brief recollection of some choice unkind things you apparently came up to him to say out of the blue, and another apology. You stammer something about how it was fine, you don't even remember any of that, you're not mad at all... you must have been mentally preoccupied and just blurted out something without thinking, or so is the best explanation you can conjure.

You don't think too much of it, though, until virtually the exact same thing happens again. Another person coming up to you, asking if they did something wrong followed by a claim that you released some sudden angry outburst seemingly at random and didn't provide explanation. You try to reassure them of the same thing as you told the first, making note to yourself to be more consciously aware of yourself. The only thing you can really think of that makes any sense would be your initial conclusion... or, perhaps, it does strike you for a brief moment that they're just messing with you, but the sincerity and slight hurt in their faces and voices makes you second-guess that idea. You must have actually said those things and had such outbursts, even if you don't recall, seeing as multiple people are making the same claims.

It doesn't take long for the matter to get worse. Soon, you find that when you come up to the same friends, smiling as you approach to initiate conversation, they merely narrow their eyes, huff and glare, turn the other way, sometimes walk off. You must have done something to upset them, or perhaps they're still upset about the outburst you apparently had...? You try to ask, but you get nothing but glares, harsh words telling you to just leave me alone or similar dismissals. To make matters worse, you're questioned by others as well -- what did they do to deserve that?, but everyone seems to think you should know what you did, and never elaborate.

You're bewildered. It feels like being an outside observer to some sort of mass delusion. You have absolutely no recall of doing anything that would upset anyone.

You even considered the notion of it being some sort of large-scale prank wherein you'd later be told they were all just kidding and trying to confuse you, but as time passes it becomes clear it was serious. That being said, you know you didn't do anything, your mind can only think of a few other possibilities. Why would people lie to you?

It's as confusing as it is hurtful. You didn't actually do anything to anyone to deserve this... the fact that multiple people would be needlessly cruel for no reason feels unfair and painful, although you suppose it's not at all unheard of, school environments are known to generate some of the worst people. You hope it will pass.

At least you still have some solace. Yes, really, the timing was at least as good as it could have been, seeing as now, you have someone you know will believe you and think the best of you no matter what, and will give you the comfort and reassurance you need. After some prompting about how downtrodden and melancholy you seem, you do finally open up about it.

Jamil doesn't seem particularly concerned about the matter, though. He shrugs it off, dismisses your concerns, although you do sense that he's trying to make you feel better. He dismisses the idea of it being some sort of conspired ordeal, says that's just being paranoid, but the alternative he suggests does seem helpful -- that you did indeed do what you were told you did, but with reason.

Perhaps you're under excessive stress. That would put anyone in a poor mood, and you may be too preoccupied to really recall the occurrence... or, it's likely that those individuals draw negative emotions out of you. You shouldn't spend time around people that make you feel poorly.

And then, after a pause, he adds,

Besides, you've never been anything less than kind towards me. That would suggest others are the issue, not yourself.

You appreciate the input, but the situation still certainly bothers you. It's not only your friends, either, that start to behave unfairly and even cruelly towards you. You would not have thought yourself to be someone who would be targeted for any malice, as you've tried to be nice and considerate and have never done anything you can recall that would have made you an enemy to random people.

You're completely caught off-guard, then, when some people seem to begin treating you as such at complete random. People you don't know very well, or have even never interacted with. You were sitting in a classroom when someone walked in, grabbed your things and ran off with them before you could take it back out of their grasp. And then, within days of that incident, someone comes out from the shadow of the side hall as you're walking, shoves you so hard you fall face-first to the ground, and runs off before you can identify them. Then, you leave your bag sitting down for a few minutes during a break, only to find someone, be it out of malice or carelessness, must have hit your bag with some heavy object, seeing as the laptop the school provided you with is smashed, forcing you to get a new one after profusely apologizing. It gets worse and worse, people coming up to you just for some cruel act or another, and now you don't even have friends to defend you... they only seem to bother you when Jamil isn't around either. You imagine that's because they know better than to provoke him, maybe.

You stay quiet about it for a while. Wouldn't want to burden him with such a thing, and you hope that it will pass... even at prompting, you merely mumble that you're fine, that you're just tired, that nothing is wrong. To say you're being bullied or anything of the sort would feel childish. It's just people being jerks, surely they'll move on and mess with someone else. Telling him would just upset him for your sake, and then you'd feel like you were overreacting, blowing it out of proportion. It's just rudeness that everyone will deal with from someone at some point. You're not even sure who a lot of them are, though... it's almost always, for whatever reason, students you're pretty sure you've never even interacted with, as if intentionally doing so in order to ensure you won't know their names or faces and can't confront them or report them.

Although it gets harder to handle, the longer it goes on. Getting tripped, shoved around, stolen from, even a few times getting things thrown at you... you find yourself becoming quieter, increasingly tired and depressed. It wears you down, emotionally and psychologically. You're always paranoid someone will come up to you and do something. You start to shut yourself in. You take longer to reply to the friends you have left. You start leaving earlier, when you usually hang out with them... even then, several of your friends no longer seem to want to hang around you anyway. It hurts.

And eventually, it becomes too much for you to keep trying.

It's almost startling when Jamil comes back to his own dorm room one day, for you to already be there. He's usually the first one back, while you spend an indefinite amount of time with friends and never come back at a consistent time, so he's caught off-guard to find you already back in the room. Curled up in bed, chest rising and falling with slow, heavy breaths. Your eyes seem a bit puffy, swollen, the flesh around your eyes reddened.

Poor thing. Yes, he did account for the fact that you'd inevitably get your feelings hurt from the acts, and when you started finding yourself all alone, but he does still feel bad, seeing you so upset. In fact, the realization that someone else caused this -- because it was, after all, someone else who actually committed the cruel acts, who did mean things to you, and thereby they are the ones responsible -- he has to swallow the subsequent feeling of sudden rage down. It's a necessary consequence.

The guilt doesn't last for too long. He climbs into bed over you, lays by your side, wraps an arm around you... he's not sure if it's a subconscious action in your sleep, or if you stir for just a moment, but regardless, you suddenly grunt as you turn over to face him instead, instinctively snuggling up close to the warmth, nuzzling your face against his chest. Your hands latch onto his undershirt, fingers curling to secure their place before you return to the soft little breaths, lulled back to deep sleep by the steady heartbeat against your face.

When you wake up, he's sure you'll be at a breaking point, you'll finally break down and talk about how mean and cruel people have been to you lately... and then he can assure you that it'll all be fine, leave for a while and come back, tell you they won't be bothering you anymore because he took care of it, but you should probably not go off on your own again anyway... yes, that will work. That should go over very smoothly, given all the steps that have been taken to ensure it.

And then... that will be everything. All the little obstacles, all either out of the way entirely, or well within the realm of being manageable.

Yes, with that, that momentary, miniscule guilt dissipates, replaced by a swelling, euphoric feeling of satisfaction and smug pride. Everything worked out exactly as it should. He runs his hand over the back of your head in slow, soft motions.

If it all really is some sort of social game, then this must be what it feels like to have won. He couldn't be happier with that outcome.

#having a loving and mutually respectful healthy relationship: ❌#pulling some 4D chess bs to destroy your gf's psyche and self esteem to force her into dependency: ✅#yandere twst #this made me realize i need to learn how to write consensual stuff which is simultaneously hilarious and awful that i like never have

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let-them-read-fics · 2 years ago

Text

Dreamcatcher Reaction To Having A Really Affectionate S/O

Pairing: Dreamcatcher x GN!Reader

Requested By Anon: "hii can i request dreamcatcher reacting to having a really affectionate s/o (their love language is physical touch)?"

A/N: Hello hello, my lovely readers! I'm back again with some Dreamcatcher fluff, just for you. I hope you like all of these! Don't forget to like, comment, and reblog; it keeps me motivated :)

Info: Each member has a reaction, a story snippet / oneshot, and their love languages ranked. It's loooong, so enjoy!

Jiu

Adores it. She’s mentioned before that she feels the safest when she’s in your arms, so it’s really a no-brainer that she’s happiest whenever you’re loving on her

Just as much as she loves to take care of you and the girls, she secretly loves to get taken care of, too

Especially by you

You just know all the right ways to hold her and help her relax. Your back rubs are elite, according to her. She lowkey thinks you were a professional masseuse in your past life

You’re her personal heater

And pillow

On particularly rough days, she’ll just fall into your waiting arms and let you work your magic. She vents about her stressors, gradually releasing all of the pent-up tension that she’d been unable to get rid of on her own, until her complaints eventually subside and dissolve into quiet, sulky mumbles as she teeters on the edge of sleep

When you see her so cuddly and relaxed like that, you just…*heart clutch*

Likewise, Jiu regards you with those exact same, astronomically high levels of adoration

You’re literally the most precious and pure thing in the world to her. When you peer up at her with those bright eyes of yours, so starry and full of love for her, she always ends up blushing. She wants to protect you and your cuteness from the world

“My sweet Y/N… what did I ever do to deserve you?”

Without even trying, the two of you naturally gravitate towards one another whenever you’re together. You never have to ask for her attention or affection because she gives it just as readily as you do

When you’re out in public, she never lets you stray too far from her. Both because she’ll inevitably be holding some article of clothing up to you to see if it would fit, or pointing some piece of nature out to you, or discussing what you should grab for lunch….and also because she just wants you nearby.

Though she doesn’t mind admiring the view she gets when you walk away, too ;)

She loves to play with your hands while you cuddle, and she also loves when you put your head in her lap

She sings to you

Whenever her schedule gets busy or the girls go on tour, she leaves some of her hoodies behind for you and makes sure to spray her perfume on them. She also presets a weekly reminder in your phone to display a sweet message for you, aware that you’ll be missing her a lot. She programs it to sound off around the time you typically wake up in the mornings because she wants it to be the first thing you see. If she can’t be there with you physically, she’ll gladly do that to make up for it

Video calls whenever you’re apart. She doesn’t feel fully at ease unless she knows you’re safe and happy

Seeing you never fails to brighten her day

Overall just a total ball of sunshine who is super super soft for you

Story Snippet

7:32 PM

About an hour and a half had passed since your last check-in on her, and you decided it was time to peek in again.

Quietly, so as to not disturb the rare bout of calmness that had befallen the dorm, you approached her bedroom door and turned the knob, opening it gently. A sliver of light from the hall rushed in, cutting through the relative dark.

Her bedside lamp was still on – dimmed to the lowest setting, just like you left it before. The bottle of water on her nightstand was a little closer to being empty than you remember, and the headache pills you had set out were gone.

Your eyes tracked over to her soft form on the bed, finding her tucked in but awake. A sleepy, exhausted smile showed on her face when she realized it was you at the door, just barely visible in the low light. Like always, though, it had a way of shining and brightening up everything around her.

Even when she was feeling under the weather, she couldn’t help but be radiant.

“Hi, baby,” her gentle voice greeted, sounding a bit strained.

The overexertion that she'd subjected herself to over the past few days was rearing its ugly head.

“Hi, my love.” You smiled pitifully, stepping inside. You shut the door behind yourself and approached the bed, standing at the foot of it. “How are you feeling now?”

“Drained,” she admitted. “I’m still tired; I haven’t been able to wind down.”

You nodded. “You’ve worked hard this week, so that makes sense. Can I get you anything to help?”

“Yeah, actually.” She pepped up the slightest bit.

“Name it and it’s yours.”

A grin pulled at her lips of the irony of that.

“You,” she answered. “Come here, I want to hold you.”

She opened the fluffy covers and waved you in, patting the space next to her. The smile on your face widened shyly at that, but you didn’t hesitate to do as she asked. You climbed in and settled close to her, letting her arms wind around you in the special way they always do.

Her lips pressed to yours, once… twice… three times, before she regained control of herself and opted to keep things PG. It was a bit difficult, with how soft and warm you were, sliding up against her and oh so tempting, but her better judgment managed to prevail in the end.

“I’ve been worried about you today,” you confessed, the words slightly mumbled as your cheek pressed to her chest, “...and I’ve missed you.”

You pouted, and she could feel it. Though she couldn’t see it, she knew it looked adorable.

“I’ve missed you, too, baby,” she chuckled quietly, easing your worries a little in the process. “The bed feels so empty without you in it… I think that’s why I haven't been able to rest very well.”

You melted at her words, feeling so loved. How did she always manage to do that so easily?

“You mean it?”

She nodded, running one of her hands down your back as she scooted a little closer to you. “Absolutely, I do. So you’re not allowed to leave, okay? No slipping away.”

“Okay. I promise,” you assured her.

You smiled when she released a sigh and relaxed into you, letting herself succumb to the exhaustion she felt. She knew you’d keep an eye on her – that she was safe and cared for – and that seemed to be the missing puzzle piece for her.

After just a couple of minutes of being in your presence, she was finally able to fully wind down; you felt it in the way that her breathing evened out and the tension in her muscles dissipated.

The throbbing of her head mellowed, no longer unbearable. You were comfortable and easy to melt into, serving as the perfect distraction from the pain. With every gentle kiss you pressed to her skin and every pass your fingers made through her hair, she took another step towards the edge of sleep.

A little later, as you went to ask her if the pills had helped any, you were halted by the sound of her soft snores. They filled the air of the bedroom around you, making it impossible to hide your grin.

So precious.

Her “Giving” Love Languages Ranked:

1.) Physical Touch

2.) Quality Time

3.) Acts of Service

4.) Words of Affirmation

5.) Gifts

Honestly she's pretty much the human embodiment of all five of them put together. She will quite literally do anything to make you happy. Always, always, always watching out for you.

◤─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────◥

Sua

LOVES IT, ARE YOU KIDDING??

She never gets tired of your touch, and she really enjoys being with someone as clingy as she is

When you both get excited about something, it gets so loud and wild

High pitched laughing, yelling, jumping around, squealing… the whole nine yards

On the rare occasion that she’s busy doing something and not actively seeking affection or already clinging to you, you’ll initiate things. It goes straight to her head and she doesn’t shut up about it for the rest of the day. Gloats and brags about how cute and cuddly you are for her

But it also tends to make her blushy and flustered, and you're the only person capable of doing that.

She says you’re the only one who really understands her and her ways of showing love

Although she hides it well, sometimes she’s afraid that she does too much and annoys other people with her affection. But you’re always there to reassure her of the opposite (because you’re just like her)

Squishes your cheeks a lot and gushes about how cute you are

She protects you and your cuteness with her life.

If anyone ever brushes you off or rejects your affection, she'll sweep you up in her arms and hold you close while yelling at them for it

Sometimes she'll literally just lay on you. She's a firm believer that being "too close" is simply impossible

Plays with your hair when you're cuddling

When you’re walking together she usually slips a hand into your back pocket and keeps it there because she loves your ass so much

She loves it when you show affection in public, whether that’s by holding her close, pressing sweet kisses to her lips, holding hands, etc. Knowing that you’re proud of your love for her and you aren’t afraid to own it or show it makes her happy

She also really enjoys it when you show her off

Play fighting is basically a daily occurrence for you. She chooses violence at least once a day

Despite the fact that she can be super aggressive and loud with her affection, she’s also equally as soft for you

Like when you’re all snuggled up in bed and waiting on her, she’ll just admire you from the doorway and smile to herself

Morning cuddles are a must for her. She never wants to get up when you’re at her side because you’re just so soft and warm and holding you is so comforting

She loves the way the two of you fit together

You’re her assistant chef whenever she cooks for everyone. She trusts you to try all of her creations and help her fix everything

That also definitely includes back hugs and a few kiss breaks because the sight of you in an apron drives her a little crazy

“Can you be on my menu tonight?” *wiggles eyebrows*

You’ve always made her feel safe, and she’s never afraid to be herself around you. You appreciate and accept all of her – every insecurity and perfect imperfection included

Story Snippet

The day’s taping of Show Champion was coming to an end as you snuck your way into the girls’ dressing room, aided by one of the backstage workers that was privy to your plans. She helped you hide within one of the closets and wished you luck before leaving just as inconspicuously as she had arrived.

10 Minutes Later

You nearly cracked your head on the back wall when the seven of them burst into the room, loudly conversing and joking with one another. The stems of the flowers in your hand squeaked together quietly, almost as a silent plea for release as you unconsciously tightened your hold on them.

From what sliver of the room you could see through the doors, all of the girls still had wide smiles on their faces. They were exhausted, sure, but happy and content with how the evening was going.

Well, all but one.

Garbled bits and pieces of their conversations made their way over to you as you watched Sua sit down at one of the mirrored stations, putting some distance between herself and the other girls. She took out her phone and began scrolling soon after, most likely as a means of distraction.

Your heart ached a little at the sight. You knew she was feeling down – the girls had told you as much, through texts – but seeing it happen right in front of you made it all the more real.

For the past week and a half, your busy schedules had combined to form the most awful amalgamation of missed opportunities; anytime one of you happened to be free, even for a short while, the other was booked for some important task that was incapable of being canceled or otherwise wormed out of.

All of the girls had missed you, but Sua was the one most affected by your absence – and everyone knew it.

Her spirits had been low, and her normal vibrancy was diminished; it was strange, frankly – a little dystopian – for her to be so unlike herself. The girls depended on her chaotic energy to keep things running smoothly; their dynamic was simply thrown off without it.

But Sua couldn’t even find it in herself to bother entertaining their banter, let alone join in. She didn’t have it in her to keep up with them today.

Although the sight of her so dejected was upsetting, it made a small smile show on your lips; you would be able to cheer her up in no time, and the 180 that she would undergo would undoubtedly make all of the waiting she’d done be worth it.

You counted down silently, wanting to time your entrance perfectly.

3…2…1-

Just as your free hand went to push the door open and kick off your big reveal, your cell phone began to ring in your pocket.

You faltered, fumbling quickly to retrieve it. Sua’s contact image shined brightly, cutting through the dark around you.

The outside world went silent – everyone quickly hushing up at the sudden noise.

You shut your eyes in defeat, sliding up on the green button, while simultaneously opening the door with your foot.

“Surprise.” You said into the phone, locking eyes with her from across the room.

Silence prevailed… one beat, two…. Until the earlier chaos returned with even more spirit than before.

Shouts of your name rang out from the girls, staccato and shocked as they attempted to figure out how you had managed to get there. Sua, on the other hand, didn’t bother with that; she ran up to you, her face lighting up like an eager child’s as you emerged from the closet and turned your phone off. You slipped the device into your pocket and extended the flowers to her.

“Hi, baby,” you grinned, “I finally convinced my boss to let me have a day off, and now I’m he—”

She cut you off at once, wrapping her arms around you at the speed of light and pulling you into the tightest hug you’d ever experienced. What remained of your explanation fizzled out in an instant, knocked from your lungs right along with all the air you had left.

The bouquet fell from your hands when she picked you up and wiggled you around in the air. Your shoes slightly brushed the ground between sways, and you groaned.

“Can’t…breathe…” You struggled out, constricted as she squeezed the life out of you.

Her arms only further tightened around you in response, full of days and days worth of pent up affection with no other place to go.

“Unnie, let go!” Dami scolded, coming up to slap her shoulder. “Y/N/N isn't going anywhere.”

Mere seconds before you went fully limp in her arms, your assailant – AKA the love of your life – put you back down on your feet and took a small step back to look at you.

Glorious, glorious air returned to your lungs in a rush, and you heaved for a brief moment or two. Once your vision returned and the floating spots that had been clouding it retreated, you blinked a few times and turned your attention to Sua.

A cute pout rested on her lips. “I’m sorry, jagi,” she muttered, the words partially aegyo-fied, but the glint in her eye told you that she wasn’t all that sorry at all. “I’ve just missed you so much.”

Wordlessly, you pulled her in close and hugged her again. She could feel the happy upturn of your lips against her neck as you buried your face there, just as relieved as she was to be reunited.

“I’ve missed you, too.” You whispered to her, pressing a kiss to her pulsepoint, and then her jaw, and finally her cheek.

She blushed wildly, growing increasingly more red by the second; the girls noticed, and their exaggerated coos and whoops soon filled the dressing room. When she turned to glare at them, hoping to scare them into silence, she quickly discovered that her typical method of intimidation wasn’t going to work in bringing their teasing to an end this time.

In the name of retribution, she delivered a retaliatory shove to your shoulder instead.

“Yah! We’re finally back together and you have to go embarrassing me right off the bat?” She scolded, voice shrill. “Pabo–”

You placed your lips against hers swiftly, kissing away her anger before it could accrue anymore firepower. Your arms wrapped around her waist, tugging her flush against the front of your body.

She still attempted to mumble an annoyed protest against your lips, but when you grinned and pinched her side, she gave in and melted into your embrace, scoffing quietly.

…

Dami grimaced as she stood in front of the girls, witnessing you kiss again. Sua shamelessly pushed you up against the closet, acting as though they all weren’t a matter of steps away from the both of you.

The bouquet rested in Dami’s hands, courtesy of her earlier retrieval of it from the floor.

“Should I…”

“Just leave it,” Yoohyeon answered abruptly, sharing a similar expression.

Dami nodded and placed it down on the couch before they all backed away and made a bee-line out of the dressing room, pretending to gag.

Her “Giving” Love Languages Ranked:

1.) Physical Touch

2.) Acts of Service

3.) Quality Time

4.) Words of Affirmation

5.) Gifts

Obviously, she’s first and foremost the best at demonstrating her love physically. Like the universal master of it. But aside from that, her strong suit is taking care of you. It comes naturally, and she can almost always be found doing something to make life that much easier on you. Cooking your favorite dishes when you’re hungry, nursing you back to health when you’re sick, being your shoulder to cry on, pulling your hair up when your hands are occupied, etc.

◤─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────◥

Siyeon

Couldn’t be happier. She absolutely loooooves being close to you

She could cuddle you for hours on end

Maybe even forever

She rubs your back when she's holding you, tracing mindless patterns against your skin. Having you close is so special to her

Sings to you, sometimes coming up with new material on the fly. You’re her muse, after all, so it’s easy with you around

When things get too hectic and hard for her to deal with, you’re always by her side in a heartbeat

You can read her like a book, and she’s so grateful for that

She thanks her lucky stars on the daily for the fact that she found you in this great big world

When you seek comfort from her and retreat into the safety of her arms, she gets so protective of you. You could simply be evading the wind on a chilly day and she’ll lowkey yell at it to leave you alone while she holds you against her.

She bought you matching rings for your anniversary one year, and when she zones out she always has a habit of toying with yours and playing with your fingers.

Sometimes you all even zone out together (#CoupleGoals)

She pinches your elbow and the back of your hands a lot

When you go full koala mode and just latch onto her and refuse to let go, she gets so happy. It makes her slow down and just revel in the simplicity of your touch, appreciating every second she gets to spend with you (because your schedules don’t always align, and sometimes it can be difficult to have free time like that)

You’re basically her stress reliever. When you’re holding her, nothing else matters

And once you start cuddling, don’t expect her to let you get away without a fight. If you say you want a snack, she’s not afraid to pick you up and carry you into the kitchen just so she can be with you that much longer

“Baby, I’m not gonna drop you. I promise. Have some faith in your wolfie.”

Like Sua, she enjoys PDA. Not anything extreme, of course, but she likes it when you let people know that she’s yours and you’re hers. It helps prevent her from getting jealous (which happens sometimes, but a kiss from you usually solves that)

She’s seriously down bad for you and whipped in a major way. A single touch is powerful enough to make her weak in the knees

Our wolfie is totally *heart eyes* for you

Story Snippet

Siyeon's legs intertwined with yours as you laid down on top of her, pressing her into the couch. She tugged you in, urging you ever-closer as her warm hands settled against your hips. Her thumbs rubbed circles there, soft through the material of your shirt.

The musky scent of her perfume wafted into the air with her movements; it comforted you, putting you even more at ease. Your brain had long ago associated and equated that smell with home.

She smiled brightly, peering up at you with her dark eyes as she giggled at some random joke you had just made. You always knew just what to say to make her laugh.

"You're so beautiful, jagi," you praised, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

"You think so?" She played, batting her lashes.

"More than you'll ever know. I'm the luckiest person alive," you mused.

The blush on her cheeks spread, becoming more prominent as it flitted its way across the bridge of her nose. She turned her head slightly to the side, briefly glancing away; she felt small beneath your gaze. You always looked at her like she was the most valuable thing in the universe; it made her shy.

"You're such a smooth talker," she groaned.

You chuckled and leaned down, kissing her cheek. Your lips trailed over to hers, ghosting softly across her flawless skin as they pressed a few stray kisses here and there along the way.

Her eyes fluttered shut the moment your lips met, fitting together as if they were created for that sole purpose. The vanilla balm smoothed across hers was partially smudged and wiped off – a result of the earlier kisses you couldn’t refrain from stealing, when the two of you had first lost interest in the movie you were watching. Its flavor remained, though, just as enticing as always.

Inconspicuously slipped beneath your shirt, her fingers curled slightly along the small of your back – where her hands had now come to settle. She drew you closer, comforted by the way you felt against her. Your subsequent hum of gratitude made her melt.

The pad of your thumb made a pass over her cheek, rubbing it gently as you deepened the kiss. It stole her breath away, but she used what little she had left to gasp lightly into your mouth.

You smiled, unable to help yourself.

Stomp, stomp, stomp

Heavy, authoritarian footfalls resounded in the hallway outside of the dorm's door, gaining your attention. You curiously raised your head, and Siyeon lifted her chin to peek back at it.

A mere second later, Sua came blasting in.

"Yah! Y/N L/N!"

Shit.

"Yoohyeon told me everything," she said, striding into the middle of the room. Yoohyeon trailed after, staying at a distance as she shut the door behind herself. She was wincing, appearing to heavily regret her earlier slip up.

You raised up, pushing yourself off of Siyeon and up onto your knees. She propped herself up on an elbow, clearly intrigued and confused.

"How could you take my hoodie without telling me?" Sua shrieked, approaching you with her hands out. They gripped your collar, shaking with purpose.

"A-ah," you laughed nervously, dryly, "I was going to ask first, but I was running late this morning and had to just throw something on. My things were in the wash."

"What if something stained it? You know how much I love it."

"I would've bought you another," you promised, voice slightly strained as she tightened her grip, thus preventing you from breathing normally.

"You can't just 'buy another'! That line is discontinued now!"

"Nothing happened, though–" you sputtered. "You're worrying for nothing; I already put it back.”

Disbelief gleamed in Sua’s eyes, and when Siyeon caught a glimpse of it she sat up at once.

She knew then that your demise was imminent.

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT!” Sua bellowed, yanking you around. As she prepared to shove you backwards onto the couch and pounce, Siyeon selflessly put herself in front of you. She held her arms out, blocking you from all of the unnie’s methods of attack.

“Save yourself, Y/N! I’ll hold her off!”

“No…” you said, voice dropping dramatically as your head vehemently swayed left to right.

Amidst a slew of shoves and jabs from Sua, she nodded sadly, remaining strong. “Just go,” she begged.

Her soft cheek nuzzled against your palm as you reached forward to briefly cup it, sharing one final embrace.

“Remember me.”

“Always,” you whispered, holding back a grin at how dramatic the two of you were being.

Following a subtle signal from her, you stumbled off of the coach as she turned and tackled Sua away from you, landing on the opposite end of it. Your sock clad feet slipped and slid on the wood flooring, providing you no sense of control as you scrambled to escape with your life.

When you careened into the hallway wall, you shot a look over your shoulder; it was a horrific mistake, however, as it only awarded you the image of Sua slapping her elbow and jumping into the air before landing on Siyeon with it. A loud groan resounded around the living room, followed by Yoohyeon’s fading plea of “Unnie, no!” as you snapped your head forward again and set your sights on Jiu’s door at the end of the hall.

Your legs gave out from how quickly you attempted to kick off again, sending you to the floor.

Sua chuckled from somewhere behind you, far enough away to not pose an immediate threat, but still far too close for comfort. You pushed yourself off of the ground and sped off again, using the walls to propel yourself forward even faster.

The knob of Jiu’s door slid into your hand and twisted smoothly, pulling a sigh of relief from you – thank God it wasn’t locked. Without wasting time on knocking, you blasted in and slammed it behind yourself, void of any and all grace whatsoever.

You heaved, pressing your back to it and reaching down to lock it just as Sua’s frame collided with its other side. She had nearly gotten you – you’d made it just in the nick of time.

Jiu perked up on her bed, eyebrows raised and eyes open wide. The glow of her phone screen cast across her face and chest.

“Sua.” You explained, without having to elaborate. Her name alone validated your behavior a million times over.

The shock on Jiu’s face dissipated at once, turning to understanding.

“Sua,” she repeated, nodding.

Her “Receiving” Love Languages Ranked:

1.) Quality Time

2.) Physical Touch

3.) Words of Affirmation

4.) Acts of Service

5.) Gifts

Our big bad wolfie might have a good poker face sometimes, but we all know she isn’t all that big or bad. She’s definitely a softie at heart and loves to hear every sweet thing you have to tell her when you’re spending time together.

◤─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────◥

Handong

Very soft about it

She adores the attention you give her, and she always enjoys having you by her side. It makes her feel important and highkey boosts her ego

Also, having you nearby makes it easy for the two of you to be (playfully) judgy together and whisper jokes without other people interfering or overhearing

Aside from that, you genuinely comfort her in a lot of ways, and when you're apart she always finds herself missing you

“You know, now I get homesick twice as much, Y/N. Half for my country, and half for you.”

Sometimes she teases you, cheekily saying that you just can't keep your hands off of her

But tbh she can’t keep her hands off you either

She’s a fan of more subtle touches, like a simple hand on the thigh beneath the table or an arm around the waist

Honestly though she also loves it when you surprise her with a spontaneous kiss (on the cheek or lips), or hug her and spin her around. It makes her blush like a madwoman, but she enjoys it – despite the playful nagging she does afterwards

You're one of the only people who can make her blush, and when you really get her good she’s out of commission for a couple minutes, unable to piece together any witty comebacks in her love-dazed mind

Once she’s regained her bearings, though, she amps up her charm in retaliation, aware that her flirting is basically your kryptonite

And it works. Practically 100% of the time.

Her bold confidence gets you just as flustered as she had been, and you typically end up hiding your face in her neck or shoving her shoulder and running away.

Enjoys PDA in the form of cuddling and kissing. Nothing too wild, but she definitely wants it to happen when you go out together. She wants people to know that you’re hers, and vice versa

Hand holding is the usual go to, or linking your arms together. Kisses, too, depending on the mood and vibe of wherever you are

You jokingly touch her muscles and brag about how strong she is, especially when she gets back from a workout

She's fond of the praise, and though she wouldn’t admit it without a fight, it makes her work a little harder to keep up her physique. Staying fit is already important to her, but the fact that you enjoy her body so much is just added encouragement. She also likes to feel powerful and like she can protect you, so it’s truly a win-win

(Though she knows you’d love her no matter what she looked like, muscles or no muscles)

She puts her head in your lap a lot as a silent way of asking you to play with her hair. It relaxes her, and she usually falls asleep in the process

When she’s feeling clingy herself, you’re the first person she goes to. You’re the only one capable of melting this ice princess

Story Snippet

(I don’t know the actual layout of the mall, so excuse any errors)

Starfield Mall – Seoul, SK

Forever Yours.

Handong peered into a glass display case, rereading the words over and over to herself. Two ruby pendants hung side by side on a rack, magnetically joined together in the middle to spell out the words.

Only when they were connected did the short message come together.

A sentimental smile made its way to her face the longer she looked at it. It would be the perfect gift for you, she decided, as she snuck a glance at you from across the store. You were occupied in the ring section, browsing through the different rows of them. The wondrous expression on your face warmed her heart.

"Sir," she called to a nearby worker quietly, so as to avoid drawing your attention. "I'd like to buy these." She motioned down to them.

He nodded and grabbed the key for the case before making his way over.

Childish, bubbly laughter carried over to your ears as you exited the store and entered the mall’s spacious third floor, where numerous kids chased one another around. Beanies rested atop many of their heads, and the fuzzy sweaters they wore engulfed their tiny frames in such an endearing way that you couldn’t help but smile.

Holiday lights gleamed all around you, strung up and wound around decorative tinsel on the storefronts and windows. They shimmered, some set on timers to flicker every now and then.

A gentle smile played on Handong’s lips when she felt the careful tug you applied to the end of her sleeve, silently asking for her hand.

She wordlessly shifted her shopping bags into her other one in order to free it up for you to hold.

Her fingers interlaced with your own immediately, assuming their rightful position for the millionth time today. She gently stroked the back of your hand with her thumb, allowing it to make a few gentle passes over your smooth skin.

Something about the way your hands fit together, so snug and perfectly balanced, made her truly believe they were created just for one another. No one else's – not a single one of the other billions in existence out there – could've ever compared to yours.

She was sure of it.

“Where should we go now?” You asked, still letting your eyes wander across the expanse of holiday decorations.

The steps you took together were relaxed, void of any rushing.

Handong pondered for a moment, racking her mind for a place nearby that would award you some much-needed privacy and quiet.

"How about that place downtown we've been wanting to try?" She suggested. "You know, close to the square?"

“Oh," you gasped lightly, remembering the quaint little restaurant that she was referring to. "That'll be perfect, jagi."

"I'm glad you agree," she quipped, leaning over to press a kiss to your temple. Your smile deepened, and when she pulled away you watched her fondly.

What glimmers of love showed on her face were soon eclipsed by something else entirely, though.

Mischief, you realized, a mere second too late.

The apples of her cheeks became prominent as her lips tugged up into a pretty smile. The kind that’s soft enough to turn you to putty, yet striking enough to light a fire in your heart. Your kryptonite – a fact she used to her advantage.

"Race you to the car!" She shrieked, already speeding off.

You didn’t even have ample time to pick up your stumbling heart, or to catch your breath.

"Dongie–"

Her bags jostled in her hands, swaying with every thundering step she took. The tread of her shoes against the linoleum echoed out, broken by a squeak when she made a turn up ahead.

You pursued her at once, bobbing and weaving through numerous people – some bewildered, others cheering you on.

Her hair whipped around as she ran, flowing in the breeze with an elegance you would never understand.

"Last one there has to pay for dinner!" She teased, glancing over her shoulder at you.

"You're going down!" You fired back, finally gaining on her.

“In your dreams!”

—-

Harvest House - Bar & Grille

“Stop sulking,” you playfully chided from across the table, not even looking up from your menu. It wasn't necessary, after all.

You could practically feel her pouting.

Handong rolled her eyes and sighed, fighting the smile that tried to work its way onto her face at the fact that you knew her so well.

She picked up her own menu and began to peruse it, comforted in a strange way by the gentle clanking of silverware and dishes that flowed throughout the restaurant. Much like your own, clusters of conversation hummed – little pockets of stories and adventures, softly recounted so as to not disrupt the others around them.

Your eyes eventually wandered back to her, simply unable to stay away for too long. They peered at her curiously, watching with adoration as she concentrated on choosing the perfect meal.

She felt you staring, and yet she stubbornly refused to look at you. It was her way of continuing to pout, and you knew it all too well.

“Dongie…”

“Hmm?” She hummed, not budging.

“Jagi…”

“Yes?” Her brow raised, and her head tilted up slightly. Not enough for her gaze to meet your own, though.

“I love you.”

There it was. That phrase that she could never not react to.

Your heart warmed as you witnessed an embarrassed tint of blush appear on her face, and the achingly sweet way her features softened as your words sunk in.

“I love you, too,” she murmured, finally peering over the top of her menu at you.

You smiled and placed a finger at the top of it, carefully tipping it down towards the table so you could see her better.

Outside lights fought one another for the chance to shine on her through the large front window that the two of you were seated beside. Every color of the rainbow gleamed, emitted from star-shaped bulbs strung up across the square.

In your peripheral, you could see the town's recently-placed Christmas tree standing tall on the other side of the street. People were taking pictures in front of it; some were large families, complete with a teen or two angstily brooding as they squeezed into the frame, and others were paired up or alone.

You turned your head briefly, glancing at them.

Their interactions were so adorably human that it brought you comfort. The patient way they waited in line for their turn in front of the tree was endearing – reminiscent of childhood as they peered up at its lights, growing excited at the sight. Parents readjusted their children's beanies and mittens, ensuring that they were well protected from the cold.

It was like a movie playing out right in front of you, reminding you of the true magic of the season. That's what it's all about.

Handong must've noticed the dreamy expression on your face, because her next words took you by surprise, making you blush.

"You're so beautiful it hurts, Y/N."

Your eyes widened in time with the upturn of your lips, and you shyly dipped your head down, avoiding her gaze.

She reached out for your hand across the table, taking it into her own with ease.

"Can I kiss you?"

A question once asked with trembling lips, during the youth of your relationship, now spoken with a sweet confidence and nonchalance that made you fall for her all over again.

It was a redundant question at best, when you so clearly would permit her to do anything she pleased. But, even still, it sent butterflies to your stomach.

You nodded, leaning forward enough to meet her halfway. She did the same without missing a beat, and before you knew it her lips were on yours.

Both of her hands came up to cup your cheeks, and she felt you grin at the change.

She didn't understand why, in that moment, but she would soon.

Inconspicuously, you retrieved something from your pocket.

As you kissed her again, making it count in the name of keeping her distracted, she felt something being wrapped and fastened around her left wrist. It was small and thin, lightweight against her skin.

Her brows furrowed lightly.

You pulled back after a moment with a knowing, anticipatory look on your face. The way it lit your features up made Handong’s heart skip a beat.

Curious, she peered down to catch a glimpse of what it was.

Polaris. A sterling silver, beautiful little bracelet with Polaris shimmering in the center.

"Turn it over," you instructed, still grinning.

She did as you said and found a personalized message engraved into the material.

"Everlasting Love", it read, written in Chinese characters.

Her lips parted in shock. "When did you…"

"A few days ago, when you went out with Gahyeon. She offered to help keep you distracted so you wouldn't find out."

"Y/N…" she sighed blissfully, shaking her head in disbelief. "How do you keep getting even more perfect?"

You smiled again, rolling your eyes.

"Shush," you tutted. "I'm just glad you like it."

"Jagi, I don't like it. I love it. This means the world to me; especially coming from you. Thank you."

She leaned forward to kiss you again, but this time her lips pressed to your cheek instead. She felt the heat there, exposing your shyness at her praise.

So precious.

Her own gift for you was practically burning a hole in the pocket of her coat by now, and she decided at once that it was time for you to receive it.

As she sat back and reached towards where the material hung across the back of her chair, you simply watched her with sweet curiosity.

You weren't expecting anything in return for the present.

You were clueless to her plan, and yet, that made it all the more special.

As she retrieved the box and held it out between you, finally opening it, you gasped quietly. A small treasure, discovered at last.

Her side of it peeked from beneath the cover of her shirt, daring to shimmer.

She carefully took it out of the box and held it up, watching it catch the lights around you.

"Now we'll always have a piece of each other, no matter where we are," she mused, linking it with her side.

As it clicked into place, her eyes met your own.

Her “Giving” Love Languages Ranked:

1.) Gifts

2.) Physical Touch

3.) Quality Time

4.) Acts of Service

5.) Words of Affirmation

She spoils you every time the opportunity presents itself. CEO of Rich GF™ vibes. According to her, you deserve every single good thing that the world has to offer; so it’s really a no-brainer to her that you should be able to find something new wrapped up and waiting to be opened when you visit her. Anytime you mention needing or wanting something – even just offhandedly – she makes sure that it eventually ends up being yours.

◤─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────◥

Yoohyeon

She loves it. There’s absolutely no doubt about it

We see how she is during interviews (always holding onto the members in some way and wanting to be near one of them), and that trait is no different when it comes to you

She always wants to be connected in some way, whether that's holding hands, linking pinkies or arms when you're walking together, piggyback rides, back hugs, etc.

Honestly she’s just as affectionate as you

She hates being away from you. She lives for your touches and kisses

And just your presence in general, really. She’s totally whipped for you

Being held by you always comforts her

And anytime you kiss her forehead or cheek? *earth-shattering squeal*

Hides her face in the crook of your neck when she gets shy

Despite her tendency to get embarrassed, she never turns down PDA from you. She enjoys the sentiment behind you letting everyone know that she’s yours (as if they had any doubts, with the way she was practically tethered to you at all times)

She sneaks into your bed when she can’t sleep

If that’s not an option, she’ll call you on the phone to hear your voice (and she ends up falling asleep with you still on the other end like 99% of the time)

“No, baby, I’m still awake."

{...}

*snoring*

You're her partner in crime. The girls lowkey tease you for it and say you're joined at the hip

Whenever Sua ends up chasing her around she always runs to you, seeking safety in your arms. You take your duties as a human shield very serious

Sometimes you team up with her enemy, though, and the three of you end up fighting and wrestling like a bunch of five year olds. She acts betrayed, but once a truce is called she’s in your arms again in less than a second

Tours are honestly difficult for both of you, for a multitude of reasons. But in particular, Yoohyeon gets grumpy when she goes an extended amount of time without proper cuddling from you. The members offer themselves up to fill in and keep WWIII from breaking out, but she swears up and down that they simply can’t compare

So, anytime you’re reunited after time apart, expect to be tackled to the ground or go careening into the nearest piece of furniture as she clumsily flings herself at you

She loves lazy days with you. Laying around and just relaxing together is one of her favorite pastimes

She usually acts childish and whines whenever you pull away, even if it’s just to go to the restroom or something

Anytime she decides to start gaming, you wait on standby…

…and when she eventually loses a match, you're there to hug her and make it all better

She swears up and down that you're her good luck charm. So most of the time you end up sitting at her side and watching as she plays

You’re her number one fan

And she’s yours, always and forever

Story Snippet

DC Dorm – 11:49 PM

A brochure suddenly smacked against your face, opened to a glossy middle page as Yoohyeon's body collapsed onto yours in a heap.

She had run from her bed to the living room, unable to keep her recent discovery to herself.

"Can I help you?" You asked sarcastically, cradling your sore nose.

She pushed herself up into a sitting position and apologized for her clumsiness at once.

After you forgave her, she flipped back to the announcement she'd seen in the booklet.

It read:

"Thundering Heights Amusement Park – Grand Opening: July 7th"

An address was listed at the bottom of the page, and you realized it was just outside of the city. Maybe a twenty minute drive or so at most.

"Will you go with me?" She asked, hope shining in her dark eyes. They almost twinkled, like a kid's on Christmas. "It looks like so much fun."

You pretended to debate for a moment, enjoying the tease. She tugged at your shirt, pouting as you made her wait.

"Sure, jagi. I'd love to–”

She tackled you down onto the loveseat and peppered hundreds of kisses across your face, her hands cupping your cheeks to keep you in place for her onslaught.

"Thank…" kiss, "you," kiss kiss, "baby." Kiss kiss kiss.

You giggled and squirmed a little beneath her, taking the affection as it came.

—----

Opening Day

As usual, she was right.

The day was off to a great start by all accounts, and you were convinced you had never smiled as much in your entire life as you had that morning.

The sun was out, providing plenty of pretty views for you to admire together as you walked your way through the park. It livened up everything that it touched – made the trees’ green leaves a little more vibrant, the flowers a little brighter. The warmth of it wrapped around you like a hug, settling into the fibers of your clothes and staying put.

An occasional breeze blew in, mild yet so necessary as it balanced out that heat. It lifted the ends of Yoohyeon's hair, caressing them gently as she took in all of the sights around her. You walked beside her in tandem, simply admiring her. Admittedly, nothing else managed to capture your attention in the way that she did.

She caught you staring on more than one occasion and shyly scolded you each and every time, but you simply couldn’t help yourself. If there was one thing you’re sure of in life, it’s that she was created to be adored. Plain and simple.

Later

“Let’s go again!” She bellowed, jumping around on her sneaker-clad feet. Adrenaline coursed through her, making her jittery from residual excitement.

Much the opposite, you were bent over the nearest railing, just outside of the exit for the ride. Your stomach churned, deciding on whether or not it wanted to upturn itself.

“I can’t,” you groaned, holding your head. “I need something to drink first. And an hour long break.”

She tsked at you disappointedly, but appeared at your side a few seconds later nonetheless. Her hand rubbed the small of your back in soothing circles, easing you through your queasy-ness.

Once it subsided, you uprighted yourself and looked at her. Something behind you caught her eye, and when she met your gaze again a small smile tugged at her lips.

“I know just the thing to make you feel better.” She booped your nose lovingly, reaching down to grab your hand and tug you along for the millionth time today.

15 Minutes Later

A sunhat rested atop your head, its brim droopy to block out the now-harsh rays that the Sun had to offer. The strap beneath your chin was pulled tight to ensure it didn’t fall off or blow away. You felt like you looked ridiculous, but she had insisted that you wear it.

…so you did.

You held a mini handheld fan up in front of your face, listening to the quiet brrr of its motor as it worked hard to cool you down.

Yoohyeon stood in front of a slushy stand in the middle of the park’s food court, where she had just ordered and paid for your drinks. Two workers were inside, doing their best to keep things running smoothly.

After another minute or so, one of them handed the refreshments over to her, smiling kindly and thanking her once more. She reciprocated and left, quickly returning to your side.

“Here you go,” she chirped, handing over your favorite flavor. “They’re nice and cold.”

“Phew,” you sighed, relieved. “I was worried they might’ve gotten hot on the way over. You know, since they’re made of ice.”

She smacked your shoulder in retaliation to your sarcasm.

“Yah! Don’t act like I won’t eat yours, too.” She pointed a finger at you, jabbing you in the chest a couple times to solidify her point.

“Ouch, tough crowd,” you feigned hurt, putting a hand atop the impact zones and rubbing the ache away.

Though she fought hard, she couldn’t entirely conceal the grin on her face. So instead she busied her lips with her straw, drawing it between them to take a long sip.

You mirrored her actions, appreciating the fact that she knew and remembered your favorite order. It made you fall for her a little more, though you didn’t see how that was humanly possible.

Content and now more energized, the two of you fell in step again. Yoohyeon began to discuss the next section of rides for you to conquer, and what the quickest route to get there was. She babbled rapidly – far too fast for you to keep up – so you opted to just smile and nod, still sipping on your drink.

You both knew you’d follow her wherever she went and do whatever she asked of you regardlessly, and you were aware that her ranting kept her happy.

So you threw in the occasional “Oh, really?” and “No way!” to keep her going. It worked; eagerly, she continued.

The happy moment was soon cut short, however, as life suddenly took on a cinematic, almost slow-motion haze right before your very eyes.

Yoohyeon turned to look over at you, meaning to tell you that the trolley was your best bet at making it across the park in a timely manner, when you both rounded an ill-fated corner.

A welcome sign was propped in front of a shop's side door, directly in her path.

Before you had ample time to react and stop her, she ran into it, tripping and being sent through the air before subsequently landing on top of the now-toppled sign with a harsh clack. The puppy-ear headband she had on jolted, its two brightly colored springs bouncing in opposite directions after colliding with one another. Her cup fell from her hand, too, getting crushed in the process.

You winced, tensing up instinctively. Oh no. She'd surely die of embarrassment. You could see the beginning stages of it unfolding as she hid her face, already blushing profusely.

So, thinking on your feet, you knew you had to act fast to prevent her demise. If you could stand in the way of her arrival at an early grave, you planned to do it. One rule that you live by played in your head: you're in it together. Where she goes, you go.

Including the ground, apparently.

Without hesitation, you rocketed yourself forward, tripping yourself over your own foot and sending yourself crashing to the pavement that waited below.

The slushie in your hand exploded upon impact, erupting into a fruity blitz that shot off in a hundred different directions. Some got on you as well, immediately trying its hand at staining the fabric of your shirt. Your fan dinked off the ground, too, getting scuffed up as its motor came to a sputtering stop.

Your hat jostled, no longer sitting in its proper place.

"Oww!" You shouted, both a little over-dramatic and real. Though the cause itself may have been intentional, the fall definitely didn't get the memo. The front of your body ached, having absorbed the shock first and taken the brunt of the damage.

"Who puts a sign in a place like that?!" You lamented.

You rolled over, squinting as the blazing sun shined down on you. You squirmed a little, still suffering from having the wind knocked out of you.

Yoohyeon groaned and pushed herself up into a sitting position at your side. She peered over at you, concerned, but your antics told her that you would be okay. After all, if you had hurt yourself too badly you wouldn't have been able to yell like that.

But making such a spectacle of yourself had clearly worked, because the people passing by all looked at you, rather than her. Their attention was successfully drawn away, and you smiled. At least the pain wasn't for nothing.

"Are you alright, jagi?" You asked her, turning your head to gaze up at her.

She scooted forward and put a hand up, shielding your eyes from the Sun in lieu of your hat. The shadow she created held the light at bay, allowing you to stop squinting.

"My ego's dead, but other than that, yes."

“Good.” You said, relieved. “Wait– not good about the ego thing! I- You know what I mean.”

She chuckled at that, though the sound eventually morphed into a soft grunt of pain. Happy pain, though. The kind that you feel later on down the road and recall the memories of.

“And you?” She asked. “Is my knight in shining armor going to live?”

You nodded, winking at her. “I think I’ll pull through.”

“Good,” she reused your word. “Because if we’re gonna make it through the rest of the park today, we need to get a move on.” She glanced down at her watch quickly. “We should have enough time to get a replacement slushie…” she eyed both of your previous ones, where they laid nearby. With haste, she leaned over to grab their trashed containers, “...and then catch the trolley. But we’ve got to hurry.”

You sighed defeatedly as she sprang up and dusted herself off, like nothing had happened. It was a good quality to have, though, for someone as clumsy as her. She balanced herself out. Uncoordinated yet resilient. It was almost poetic.

What wasn’t poetic, though, was the unceremonious way she hauled you up to your feet, all in one motion.

You barely had a second to catch your breath, or wheeze, or curse into the afternoon air before she was pulling you along at the speed of light again, all of her embarrassment forgotten and instead replaced with excitement once more.

Her “Receiving” Love Languages Ranked:

1.) Physical Touch

2.) Words of Affirmation

3.) Quality Time

4.) Acts of Service

5.) Gifts

Yoohyeon is prone to embarrass herself, and her insecurities sometimes tend to show themselves as a result. She also has an unfortunate habit of overthinking; but a simple and easy way to remedy that at any given moment is through physical touch and sweet words of reassurance. They never fail to comfort her and restore that confidence that you love so much.

◤─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────◥

Dami

Dami isn't always the biggest fan of physical touch, but she makes an exception for you

She's grown quite fond of your ways of showing love

Especially because you respect her boundaries and don't overload her with it all of the time

The girls jokingly complain about the fact that your affection never gets rejected by her like theirs does sometimes

You're usually the one to initiate things, but she also surprises you sometimes by beating you to it

You l o v e when she does that because it just shows that she's willing to step outside of her comfort zone to convey her feelings for you

She usually gives you back hugs and puts her head on your shoulder

Slips in little touches throughout the day

Also loves to hold your hand

If it's chilly out and she notices your hands are cold, she'll slip one of her heating packs into them without you even having to ask

Piggy back rides

Lets you poke her cheeks and toy with them

She bought a pair of touch lamps for the both of you, so when she’s away and missing you she can touch hers and yours will light up. It’s a subtle reminder that she loves you and that you’re on her mind

Gives you her jacket when it’s cold out and holds the door for you

You've made her more comfortable with physicality, honestly, and she finds herself missing it when your schedules keep you away from each other

If you get overcome with emotion and give her a spontaneous kiss or cuddle, she ends up blushing every time, without fail

Sometimes she becomes the clingy one and wraps you up in her arms, not letting you go until she’s satisfied

“Let’s stay just like this, jagi.”

Soft hours

But any other time, when it’s you who’s being clingy, it’s really endearing to her to see you visibly waiting to touch her and attack her with a flurry of affection. You hold back long enough to get permission, but the second that she gives you the green light you’re basically pouncing on her

Whenever she reads, she invites you to snuggle up with her. She typically ends up absentmindedly toying with your hair, or stroking your arm, or pressing a few kisses to the top of your head, too

Just like her, her love is subtle and quiet most of the time. But it’s endless, and it’s always there

She loves you to the moon and back and is willing to do just about anything to see you smile

Story Snippet

DC Dorm – Dami's Room

Snowflakes fell outside in droves, heavy and thick as they added to the masses that had already accumulated on the ground over the past few hours. Biting winds blasted by occasionally, reminding everyone of just how frigid it was. They caused a branch to knock into the window of Dami’s room, scraping it lightly.

Ever since your arrival in the afternoon, it had been like this; as you spent time gathered with the girls and enjoying yourself by the fireplace, nature had been gearing up for a full-blown blizzard.

Aware of this, they all insisted that you spend the night at the dorm and just return home once the conditions were safer.

It didn't take much to convince you, truth be told. Their company was far too enjoyable to turn down, and you didn’t have any desire to head back to your empty apartment anytime soon, anyway.

So now, in the wake of a movie-marathon, multiple games of drunken charades, and escaping the tight clutch of a sleeping Sua, you stood in front of Dami's dresser, bent at the waist as you sifted through the drawer that she had directed you to.

Through the speakers of her phone, a soft piano melody ambled out, basking the room in a comfortable, easy-going ambience.

"Pick whichever one you want, baby," she called, glancing up briefly from her book as she flipped the page she had just finished. The texture of it – a little rough, unsmoothed – made a scratching sound as it rubbed against the one behind it.

"Really? Even the–"

"Yes, Y/N/N, even that one." She interrupted, amused. "I washed it yesterday because I figured you'd want to wear it." You could hear the grin in her words.

Eagerly, you continued searching through the hoodies until you finally found the one you were after. It held a title unlike any other. None of the rest even held a candle to it.

Why was it so special?

Because you bought it for her during a birthday trip last year, and it was the coziest thing in existence.

Oh, and it was also panda themed. Dami in hoodie form.

With a triumphant smile, you unfolded it and thrust it up into the air, showing it off. Dami watched from the bed, smiling softly to herself at the cute sight.

You slipped it over your head and pulled it down across your body, allowing the cozy material to engulf you. Two rounded ears sat atop the hood, and they bounced lightly when you tugged it up onto your head. The grin on your face deepened when you reached up to feel their fluffiness.

“You’re so cute,” she mused, far too interested in you to pay attention to her book anymore. Her finger rested between its pages, keeping her place marked as she openly admired you.

“Yah,” you scolded softly, lacking malice. You could feel your cheeks and ears warming up as a result of her compliment, and it made you shy.

“Thank you,” you added quietly, glancing away.

She bit her lip and shook her head, completely enamored. How could a person be so adorable?

“Come here,” she commanded, when she noticed you playing with the ends of the sleeves mindlessly. The inconspicuous (yet totally obvious) way you peeked back at her let her know that you wanted to be closer.

Hope shined in your eyes as you padded over like a puppy, and when she tossed her book to the end of the bed and filled her hands with you instead, you nearly swooned. She tugged you in by the waist, sending you sideways onto the bed.

A second later, she was hovering over top of you; her soft hair cascaded down around the two of you, blocking out the rest of the world like a privacy curtain. You met her dark eyes briefly, highlighted by the bits of lamplight that peeked through, shining on the two of you. But her gaze soon dropped lower, landing on your mouth – which she’d been dying to feel against her own all day.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” she admitted, before leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your lips. It was sweet and warm, just like her. “You made today so fun.”

“Yeah?” You grinned lazily, basking in the warmth that her body radiated. “I’d have to say that you made the day fun,” you opposed. “I mean, come on; when you saved us from losing that third round of charades with your last-second guess? That was gold.”

She nodded, pursing her lips as she recalled that victorious moment. “You do have a point there…”

“Or when you saved Jiu from getting whacked by a blindfolded Yoohyeon during our ‘What’s In The Box’ game? That deserved some kind of award.”

Her features pulled into a grimace at the memory. “I don’t know if she would’ve recovered, honestly. What do you think? Concussion? Short coma?”

Your hands trailed up to the back of her neck and gently settled there – fingers interlocking as you took a second to consider her question. She shivered slightly at the sensation, nearly tickled when you absentmindedly toyed with the baby hairs at her nape.

“Mmm, definitely a concussion,” you frowned, feigning seriousness until the sudden sound of Dami’s laughter cut through the quiet, bringing out your own.

She rested her forehead against yours as your combined giggles filled the air, completely and utterly happy. They were genuine and natural – a little sleepy, a little unpolished – and that warmed your heart.

Seeing her like that made you fall that much more in love. She shined brighter than moonlight, starlight, sunlight – all of it. You wanted to stay wrapped within the bounds of this perfect moment forever.

“I mean it, though,” she affirmed softly, like some kind of shy confession finally given voice to, once your laughter died down into quiet chuckles. "Things wouldn't have been the same without you here."

Yet another one of her ways of saying ‘I love you’ without actually uttering the words.

“I know,” you nodded, brushing the tip of your nose against hers a few times. You could feel her melt into you at the contact.

“I love you, too.”

Her “Giving” Love Languages Ranked:

1.) Acts of Service

2.) Quality Time

3.) Words of Affirmation

4.) Gifts

5.) Physical Touch

What she struggles to show physically, she makes up for in other ways. She’ll do favors, dote on you without you even having to ask, make you food if you’re hungry, leave encouraging post-it notes on your things if you’re in need of reassurance and support… the list is endless. It’s how she shows all of the love she has for you; she’s a fantastic listener and always pays close attention to you, and she thinks it’s easier and more convenient to demonstrate her love this way. The little things mean everything to her.

◤─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────◥

Gahyeon

Enjoys it a lot. Your presence alone is comforting to her, so she’s really happy to have you nearby

When you link your arm through hers and cuddle into her side, she falls a little more in love with you. She does it to you often, too

Whenever you kiss her in front of the girls, she tends to get shy. (Mainly because of their relentless teasing). But she never turns you down

She loves having your attention on her.

And she'll pout in order to get it

Like Sua, she tends to get a little loud and aggressive with her love

Will literally whine and cover her eyes when you walk into the room because she says you look too good for her to handle

She loves to sit on your lap (and have you sit on hers as well)

Puts her head on your shoulder a lot

Holds onto the end of your sleeve and tugs it when she wants your attention

She lets you play with her hair and style it however you want

One time you managed to make it defy gravity, and she still hasn't lived that down at the dorm. The girls said she looked like an alien

Whenever you’re just lounging around together and scrolling on your phones, you both still like to be connected in some way. So she’ll usually pull your legs across her lap, or even lay between them. (It makes it even easier for her to show you something interesting or funny that she stumbles across)

She knows she can get her way with you really easily because you’re a total pushover for her. All she has to do is pout or give you a kiss and you’re like putty in her hands

That’s one of her favorite traits about you. Both because she thinks it’s adorable, and also because she can exploit it (big brain Gahyeon)

“Pretty please? I promise to buy you more candy in the morning if you just let me have this last one now.”

{......}

"...or we can share it, if you'd rather."

You make her feel powerful and important, and that’s priceless to her

She loves when you get protective over her. There’s something about that side of you in particular that really does something to her

Whenever she’s busy or away on tour, expect lots of pictures and videos from her at odd hours. The time difference doesn’t stop her from messaging you when she can

Also, sleepy voice messages when she’s laying awake and having trouble sleeping

Whenever you reunite, she’s yelling and running into your waiting arms

Story Snippet

“Yah, how much longer are we going to be out here?” Gahyeon whined, her breath turning white in the chilly atmosphere that surrounded the eight of you. It floated away gently, catching her attention for a brief second as she lagged behind everyone else.

Exploring the city and shopping had gotten boring for her about two hours ago, and quite frankly she was over it at this point.

Heading the group with Jiu, you stopped and turned around to look at her. The brochure in your hands lowered, no longer your top priority.

“What’s wrong, Gah?”

She didn’t answer immediately. Instead, she scuffed the bottom of her shoe against the ground, twisting it into a rut that existed in the weathered cobblestone. Her hands flexed into fists at her sides, toying with the handles of the shopping bags that were nestled against her palms.

“I’m cold,” she finally said, voice small as a pout played on her lips. She looked away when everyone’s attention fell to her. Admittedly, she felt a little childish for making everyone stop. The weather was simply starting to get to her, and she was tired.

But being the maknae meant she had every right to be babied, after all, so she didn’t feel too guilty.

You rolled your eyes and smiled softly, shaking your head. “Jiu, will you take over? Let’s go to that restaurant I showed you earlier.”

“The historic one?” She asked, clarifying.

You nodded. “It used to be a royal building, so it’s pretty massive. And there’s a fireplace there fit to match, so…” you trailed off, glancing again at Gahyeon. Her pout deepened a little at you, exaggerating.

“Sounds great,” Jiu smiled warmly. “Let’s get going.”

The girls all resumed their walking after that, conversing with one another and taking in the surrounding sights of the city as Jiu flipped open to the brochure’s walking map and led the way. You let them pass you, waiting for Gahyeon to catch up.

Her nose was red, and the fuzzy muffs on her ears had fallen from their proper place. Her shoulders sagged dramatically, making her look truly spent.

You had to bite back a laugh.

“Here, baby,” you offered, reaching out to take the bags from her. She gave them without any further prompting, and you quickly slid them onto your arms, allowing them to rest in the crook of your elbow. You resituated her earmuffs next, and pressed a small kiss to the tip of her chilly nose.

“Better?”

Her head shook in protest, stumping you.

“Not yet.”

She stepped forward, just a breath away, and slipped her hands into the pockets of your hoodie. They balled in the material and tugged you closer, nearly making you stumble into her at the unexpected action.

“Let’s stay like this, just for a second. Let me warm up a bit,” she smiled mischievously, leaning in enough to brush her nose with yours. Her fingers wrapped around the warmers that were tucked away in your pockets, reveling in the soothing heat that they provided.

You reached in, too, covering her delicate hands so that the cold didn’t have a chance to touch them. She hummed happily, tilting her head to the side to press a thankful kiss to your lips. She giggled quietly against them, pleased to have gotten her way.

The night sky was bright above you, illuminated by the moon as it showered down its speckled starlight in a way that seemed intimate, like it was meant just for the two of you. Your own personal glimpse of the cosmos. It provided comfort, reminding you of home. Of all of those late nights in Korea, when you would sneak outside with Gahyeon for some fresh air, talking about any and everything your sleepy minds could come up with until the delirium set in and you had to amble your way back up to bed.

Even here and now, in a foreign country that seemed lightyears away from that place, shimmers of those moments could be found. They gleamed in Gahyeon’s sweet eyes – hundreds of potential experiences and conversations just waiting to happen. It was meaningful, to say the least, and you were beyond happy that fate had allowed you to be here with all of them.

You kissed her cheek before pulling away enough to look at her.

“I love you–”

Both of you laughed together at the coincidence, your shoulders lifting and falling lightly. The smile on her face was precious, reminiscent of a fox’s. You studied her for a moment, just taking her in and committing everything to memory.

“We should probably get going,” she said, still grinning, though she made no move to actually leave. Her gaze dropped to your lips, lingering there for a beat before raising to your own again. You felt the subtle way her fingers tightened against the warmers, attempting to be inconspicuous.

It was almost comical how bad she was at hiding her feelings for you.

“Yeah,” you agreed, settling closer, teasing her.

She looked around, peeking over your shoulder before craning her body left and right to make sure the coast was clear. Once she was satisfied, she pulled your hood over your head and leaned in, sealing her lips against yours.

Beneath the cover that your thick hood provided, she did as she pleased. Taking her time, savoring the rare chance she got to be alone with you like this. She was a mix of sensations – from her blushing, warm cheeks, to her chilly lips that slid against your own, never wanting to part. The entirety of the embrace was perfect; you couldn’t have asked for anything better.

“We really should get going, though,” you chuckled, resting your forehead against hers once you’d parted for air. “They’ve probably already made it there by now.”

“Fine,” she sighed, feigning annoyance again. “You’re right. But I’m taking this,” she declared, stealing one of your warmers.

She pulled away, turning to stand at your side so you could walk next to one another. “We can share this one,” she resolved, keeping her other hand in your other pocket, where it was still cradled in your own.

You sighed as well, mimicking her. “Fine.”

To smooth things over in the wake of her crime, she cuddled up against your side and laid her head on your shoulder as she pulled you along. The soft crunch of your shoes against the cobblestone street resounded, announcing your journey forward.

“Thank you, babe.” She said quietly, serious now. “For everything.”

“Anything for you,” you quipped with a small smile, watching as your sweet assurance turned white in the air and surrendered itself to the universe.

Her “Giving” Love Languages Ranked:

1.) Gifts

2.) Physical Touch

3.) Quality Time

4.) Words of Affirmation

5.) Acts of Service

She feels responsible and accomplished when she can spoil you and buy you the things that you want. There’s nothing quite like watching the smile grow on your face as you open up presents from her. She’s not afraid to go all out, either.

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guardiantales-fanblog · 8 months ago

Text

Guardian Tales Director Q&A

and now for the Director's Q&A that also came out today. This is gonna be a long one. And again; all MTL'd from Korean, sorry. link to interview

Q: You are receiving favorable reviews for your story. Are there any plans to provide separate content to view past stories? A: There are no plans to provide it in-game. If possible, I hope you enjoy the story along with the gameplay. As of now, we are thinking of steadily adding a replay feature so that you can enjoy past stories. The full story is also being released on YouTube, so I hope you'll get into the game and try it out yourself.

Im... not sure what this means tbh... Maybe they're talking about prequel side-content.

Q: Many people are unhappy that the playable hero is locked to Knight. A: It's a matter of choice. In Season 2, knights and princesses were the centerpiece of the game, so it was for the sake of immersion. In Season 3, we plan to change it so that users can use their own heroes in the story. However, for those who like to play as knights, we've also made significant improvements to the knight experience. It's your choice.

So basically: teams in story are coming back, and we might get Knight ascension soon?

Q: Last year, you mentioned a new summoning system. Can you elaborate? A: […] Since I personally don't enjoy picking and the current picks don't fit the current state of Guardian Tales, we're introducing a selective pickup system to make it easier to get each hero. The pickup system will allow users to select five heroes and then those heroes will appear. This will make it easier for players to collect the heroes they want. Since the game doesn't force duplicate picks, the value of each hero will be lower. We will adjust the release window to preserve the value of new heroes. In Season 3, we expect that new players will be able to easily pick their favorite heroes from the existing ones, and existing players who have collected all the heroes will be able to focus on picking up new ones.

New summoning mechanic coming soon

Q: There are not enough party presets. A: We plan to improve the preset system along with the UI in Season 3. Enjoy all content with 30 presets. This method allows you to specify a preset for each content once the update is applied.

(possibly the new UI for master arena)

Q: When will the replay feature be added after Chapter 13? A: Replay is a huge resource drain on our development team. We're working on improvements to simplify and standardize the development process, as there are multiple options in between. Although we did not have enough time to work on Season 3 until the first half of this year, we will develop it in a simplified way in the second half of the year and even show World 18 again

I was not aware replay development was so rough... I hope things become smoother for them

Q: Is it possible to add the ability to visit a guild lobby other than chatting with friends? A: I thought a lot about including the whisper function in the season 3 specs. As a result, there was a lot of other work to do, so it was omitted from the current plan. Adding the ability to visit other guild lobbies is difficult because it requires creating a new guild room. However, in order to strengthen the community function, we will make improvements to make it easier to invite when playing cooperatively or in friendly matches. There were issues that made it difficult to get together in the cooperative expedition. We are also considering updating our profile page so that we can show off our achievements to other users.

they might mean stuff like those stickers they've shown in the stream?

Q: Balance controversies are always inevitable. A: There will be no drastic balance changes before Season 3. […] We promised not to nerf existing heroes. We need to look at it over a long period of time, but we plan to periodically buff non-mainstream heroes so that the results can be felt relatively quickly.

Q: There is a trend of subculture games announcing animation production. Does Guardian Tales have any plans? A: There are no immediate plans to do so. It's not my personal preference. I watch a lot of anime, but I really want to tell a story in a game. The main character of Guardian Tales is the player. I don't want to create subculture content centered around the knight. We're open to considering external animation, but we want to keep the emotional impact of the gameplay.

Im surprised to know that they actually considered it. I have to agree with the director here, while i did wish it got one, I dont think an anime would give the same feeling playing the game does.

Q: What are your next collaboration plans? A: I have a plan. It could be introduced within this year at the earliest, or next year at the latest. Originally, the Tensura collab was planned for last year. There is something I have prepared to present this year. That IP is my first pick. It's an IP that everyone will know when they hear it.

Q: I’m curious about the future princess’s whereabouts. A: We know that there is a high need for a reappearance as it left a great impression during Season 1. Based on the scenario, I think the story of the future princess and the unrecorded world was neatly concluded in season 1. Now, the story of another timeline is open to all possibilities depending on the users' imagination. Rather than waiting for the future princess, I would appreciate it if you looked forward to a scenario where you meet new characters. I will show you a story that will satisfy you.

ah..... FP............ come back home soon...

Q: What is the current status of overseas services? A: Still receiving a lot of love. However, in the case of China, Japan, and Global, content is being used up in line with Korea's progress. As the progress reached a certain level, the initial explosive power faded away. Still, new articles are coming in steadily. In Season 3, we plan to inject new momentum so that you can quickly enjoy it with other users. In line with Korea Season 3, it is being developed so that it can be quickly expanded to overseas markets.

Q: What is your biggest goal as Guardian Tales director? A: There is no final goal point. Because I like story RPGs, I am happy just by creating Guardian Tales that can provide the highest level of emotion. I just hope Guardian Tales continues to make good stories.

#guardian tales #q&a

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simeffable · 9 months ago

Note

Hi! Looking forward to seeing your next Sims! A couple of questions: I don't see the old pinned post about your upcoming sims, just the one about the Lost ones (which look amazing btw) and now the Buffy one I'm very excited about! Were you still releasing whichever the others were on the old pin? And Question 2: do you have any tips/can you offer any help/talk about how you make such accurate lookalike Sims from TV shows and other media? Simmers make it look so easy, but I can't figure it out tbh... Thanks!

Hi! Thanks for your question :) First of all, thank you for reminding me that that LOST post was still pinned! I pinned it for a while because a few people for people on Reddit, but I very much intended to replace it with my 'upcoming projects' one and totally forgot! It's all sorted now. Everything on that post will be released, and anything that has been is linked on it :)

Second of all, great question! I find even though it sounds obvious, always have a photo of the person you want to capture the likeness of. Don't assume you just know what they look like. I usually stick with a front profile photo to begin with, then will look at 3/4 and side views if I'm still struggling (but not always, as altering the side profile in Sims can sometimes completely change the front and make it look goofy. I'd rather have an accurate front profile and dodgy side.). I then try to have my game split screen in windowed mode with the photo along side it (if you can't get split screen there are a few apps available to overlay images onto windows) zoomed and positioned so that the real guy's head is the same size as the sim's. From there, I start by trying to get the physical features lined to match their position on the photo and get the size of them correct. Then, I always start with the eyebrow shape (sliders from @miikocc help a lot) and the eyes (again, @obscurus-sims sliders for eyelids will help capture more complicated shapes and hooded eyes). A lot of the time, its actually the width of the neck that makes a sim look goofy so @golyhawhaw 's Neck Width Slider is a life saver for male sims. Just keep going back and forth between the picture and your sim, choose the most accurate hairstyle you can and don't be afraid to download as many CC sliders as you can find as these really optimise the games' sculpting ability.

Hope this helps!

I've linked my favourite sliders below, as well as my go-to hair creators as it really is the make or break!

Favourite hair creators: @johnnysimmer , @daylifesims , @simstrouble , @nolan-sims , @feralpoodles , @aharris00britney , vevesims (inactive I think, but creations can still be found), @okruee , @wistfulpoltergeist

#ts4 #simblr #ts4 simblr #simeffable ask

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cidthesquid · 10 months ago

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My Debut! - MODEL Debut 3 #nicola

Trying a New fashion game today! Also, Happy Valentine's Day! If you don't have someone special to spend it with, try to at least do something fun for yourself! I'm going to be spending my day trying a new fashion game!

I've seen a few clips of this, And heard it's "the best fashion game on switch!", (Released around the same time as 'Fashion Dreamer') With the only drawback being it's only available in Japanese. So We probably won't be sticking with this too long, but let's get started! ---- Alright, it looks like we just passed our audition, and we're trying to decide what to do next... and wow.. Google Translate is really struggling with this game...

That's fine, fashion is an international language,

Ok, time to create my usual character...and..oh...

Is that really the darkest skin tone? I know this game is made for japan, but really? Style Savvy Ds had more options, and so did Fab Style on the DS/3ds They have a million eye designs, and a full RGB slider for hair colors, But for skin, all you get is a very mild tan :-/

Oh well, hmm this is interesting, they have a dedicated eye size/positioning section.

Three presets for each, eyebrow height, eye height, eye size, and pupal size. It may feel a little limiting, but that's a bit more control than style savvy/fashion dreamer, without overwelmming the player,.

Here's my final character design: (I hope they let me edit it later)

Okay outfit time!

Wow, this game has full layering, bags, and lets you equip multiple accessories! Even though the starting options are limited, the fact that you can (as silly as it sounds) wear a neckless under a scarf. Means you have more freedom than the older style savvy games! (even if I still prefer the outfit designs in SS)

wow there is a lot of dialogue in this game...

umm, I just wanted to have fun making outfits, what is all of this?

Ok, so I guess this is the SS 'Photo studio' equant:

You can't move the camera, but you can adjust the pose, expression and background. (real backgrounds in a game like this look pretty weird. You'll also have added controls for head position and gaze direction:

Anyways, with our first photo shoot out of the way, we now get to see the world map:

our only option is to go to the studio, so lets start there: And once we arrive, we're given a few jobs to choose from:

I really don't know what any of these mean, so we'll go with the 'Cherry blossom viewing coordination' as I think that may just mean "style using pink", maybe?

Nope, it looks like they want me to dress in a casual top for work, Luckily everything is labeled here, so you can just scroll over an item and check the tags.

I'm not sure if all items need to match or we just need something that fits the theme, so let's try this:

This is cute, but apparently dresses don't count for the 'casual top' category, (I should have guessed.)

Let's Try again...

Nope, They're still complaining about the "illustration, I'll need to look that up..." ok, I found a fantastic video from the youtuber "HamsterButtocks", and watched the start of her playthrough. Turns out, you need both tags shown to mach the item in question, so, we'll use the search function to find a top that matches both requirements.

And here we go!

Next up is posing and framing and we're done!

Once you complete the job you get points to 'rank up' as a model, and you get little NPC comments on your post.

And it looks like once we get further in, we'll eventually unlock some fashion show type event:

So very interesting, I should have guessed from the game's title, But unlike Style Savvy and Fashion Dreamer, this game seems to be exclusively about modeling, and dressing up your own character, rather than helping others find their own sense of style. That's fine, and it's a neat idea, Style Savvy Fashion Forward ad a similar event, but I'm not sure how I'd feel about sticking with a full game based around that. I'm still super early on, and I'm sure tons more options will unlock as I go, but this seems to be the core gameplay loop. I had fun trying it out, and I may go back later, But for now, I have to work on the new fashion dreamer event that just went live, and I still have to finish Style Savvy: trendsetters, so I got plenty of stuff to do! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed another entry in my weird fashion game blog!

#fashion game #switch #style #MODEL Debut 3 #nicola #フリュー株式会社 #NotStyleSavvy #MODEL Debut3

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joojconverts · 2 years ago

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Hi guys no post today AGAIN... but I promise I’ll release something soon lol I’m actively converting but as I said in my other post I just don’t like taking screenshots and making previews, I just like the conversion part lol. But anyway, even though I don’t have anything to post, here’s a VERY raw screenshot of a new collection I recently converted! It’s the Black Couture, by @rustys-cc!

I fell in love with this set so I decided to bring it to ts3! Very chic and I think these are my best conversions yet so I'm pretty happy lol!

It’s 5 dresses and 1 top (white blouse), and they all have 3 presets: a plain one with fabric details, and two floral ones. I’m very pleased with the detail I was able to bring with the normal maps and with shadow maps (something I never tested before), as you can see on the sleeveless white and black dress on the left (the texture is painted on the body).

I'll release it soon I swear lol

All hairs by @chazybazzy except for the pixie hair

Have a great day!

#joojconverts #blog update #coming soon #rusty-cc

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liaragaming · 4 months ago

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Dragon Age: The Veilguard HYPE Q&A

What was the first Dragon Age game you played?

Origins. My husband encouraged me to play it, saying that he thought I would like it. And then I loved it more than he did. lol!

2. Which Dragon Age game is your favorite so far?

Inquisition. That cast of characters just sucked me in.

3. Do you usually play as a warrior, mage, or rogue? Which class are you planning to try first this time around? Which subclass?

I tend to switch it up. Origins, I played rogue because that was recommended to me. Exodus (DA2), I played warrior because I wanted Bethany in my party. And then Inquisition, I was like, well, I haven't done mage, so I'll do it. Thinking of going full circle and going rogue again in Veilguard.

4. What does your worldstate look like going into DAV?

That's a little difficult to get into since we don't know what will be important. But:

Romanced Solas / vowed to save him

Leliana Divine

Inquisitor didn't drink from the Well

Do you typically use a preset character and name or spend hours in the character creator coming up with a custom one?

I can get overwhelmed in the character creator. I tend to start with a preset and then customize it a bit and then jump into the game. I'll make tweaks to the character overtime though as I play. I prefer coming up with a my own name though, just because I don't want my character to share the same name as other players. And I will spend hours on that.

Do you have your Rook(s) planned out to any degree? If so, would you share some details or ideas you have?

Waiting for more information, but I'm thinking elven and red head. I like the idea of a non-magic user who joined the Veil Jumpers. Just because you can't use magic, doesn't mean you can't be fascinated with it.

Which character from the previous games or other media are you most hoping will make an appearance in DAV?

FENRIS! I need, need, need Fenris!

Dorian feels like a given.

There's more, but those two are tops!

What faction are you most excited to learn more about?

Veil Jumpers!

But also, all of them, to be honest. I can't wait to learn more about each one.

Which romance, if any, do you plan to pursue first?

I was thinking Bellara because I like elves. And then I heard about Lucanis being the angst romance, and I'm a sucker for that (as long as it end happily - I'm already in hell over Solavellan). But then I heard Emmrich is a total nerd and loves learning - and like... I don't know anymore!

Which location are you most excited/hoping to explore in-game?

It was Tevinter, but now... Arlathan forest? I also really want to see Rivain and learn more about the culture there.

There's so many place we'll be visiting. I'm excited for them all!

What's one thing you'd really like to see in this next game?

Resolution to the Solas romance. I've been in hell for 10 years! Please release me from this prison!

What's one thing you're hoping we DON'T see in this next game?

Anyone dying. Please Bioware. DO NOT give me the Hawke / Warden choice again.

What's one thing you've seen confirmed so far that you're a fan of?

The theme of regret. I can't wait to dive into that.

Developing a relationship between Rook and Solas. I have no idea how that is going to work, but I am so excited.

The Lighthouse. Just... gimmie.

What's one crack theory you subscribe to (yours or someone else's)?

Solas and Ghilan'nan were a thing (mine).

Are you interested in all the lore and speculation or do you focus more on the games and stories themselves?

All of it. All the lore, all the stories, all the characters. I just eat it up.

Which aspect of fandom are you most looking forward to? (e.g. reading/writing fic, the bounty of gorgeous art, getting to know new people, etc.)

Very excited for all the companion fanart and meta that is going to come out. Also all the fanfic I'm sure I'm going to write.

Are you planning to replay any of the previous games, watch Dragon Age: Absolution, or read any of the books/comics/short stories, or are there other games you want to play in the meantime?

Reading through Tevinter Nights now. Then going through the World of Thedas books. I WISH I had time to add the comics in there as well.

Post a picture or gif that conveys your current level of excitement for Dragon Age: The Veilguard!

#q&a #dragon age veilguard

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simplyanjuta · 1 year ago

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Thank you so much for your Adjusted Thumbnails mod! I needed it so much and I didn't know it. :P I don't know if it's possible but could it also be adjusted for the Pre-teens mod? I have no idea since that is not an actual EA age but figured I would ask. Thanks again!

Hi there! Happy a few people find the mod useful :-)

From what I understand pre-teens in the referred mod are just teens with a special trait & height preset applied, so similar in that way to the Shorter Teens mod.

I just tested it to see if the pre-teens fit into the picture frame with the adjusted settings for shorter teens from my mod... It kinda works but it's indeed a bit cropped. Seems like the applied height preset is even shorter than the shortest version from the Shorter Teens mod.

I guess I can add a variation zooming out yet a bit more, but need to see how it looks overall. I felt a bit hesitant even with the version I released tbh.

P.S. When I experimented with the settings, I also tested how far I need to zoom out with max and min settings of Redheadsims height sliders, but at some point it just looks really silly imo 🙈

Update: Tried it out and the portraits would need to be teeny tiny, so I don't think it's a worthwhile option.

#replies

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ms-foobles · 8 months ago

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for NES asks: at the time it was released, what technical aspects of the console set it apart from the other consoles of that generation (like the Master System and Atari 7800)? i know the design of the console and the strength of the games were big, but what about the machine itself made it so great?

That is a very interesting question! I don't know quite as much about those other consoles as I do the NES, so this was a great excuse to research some new tech!

(I hope this response isn't too long, there's a lot to talk about!)

In my opinion, the thing the NES does best compared to all the competition is sound. The NES has 5 sound channels: two pulse channels, one triangle, one noise, and one delta-modulation channel. The pulse channels each support various different duty cycles, which all have different harmonics and gives you some versatility in timbre even with a simple pulse wave. And the delta-modulation channel enables a game to play actual audio samples. Some of the other consoles had sample playback capabilities as well, but in those cases the CPU had to be doing all the work to feed data to the sound chip. On the NES, the system itself does that work instead, which makes it feasible to play recorded instrument samples or effects while the CPU is doing other work (kinda).

By comparison, the Atari 7800 had only two channels with a preset list of waveforms, and way, WAY worse tuning when it comes to specifying the frequency of the sound you want to play. The SMS is better, but still worse than the NES. It has 3 pulse channels and 1 noise channel, but you couldn't even control the duty cycle of the pulse channels!

Graphics are a whole 'nother story though. In terms of raw picture quality, I might have to say that the SMS wins over the NES. The SMS has way more graphics memory, and also allows for way more simultaneous colors for any given sprite or tile. The 7800 comes in last place again-- I don't think it's really a contest. Sorry Atari! (That being said, I could do a whole nother writeup on how weird the 7800's architecture is, it's exceedingly different from the others).

One thing the NES did very differently from almost all the competition though was the way that it accessed video memory. On most systems, including the SMS and consoles that came after the NES, it works like this: The system motherboard has a graphics card and a video memory chip (VRAM) on it. The CPU occasionally sends graphics information into VRAM (such as pixel data or tile maps), and the graphics card then uses whatever data is in VRAM to draw a frame of video.

The NES is very similar, except that instead of the graphics card asking an internal VRAM chip for graphics data, the graphics card asks the game cartridge for graphics data. This means that custom hardware can be put inside of the cartridge that handles the graphics card's requests in special ways in order to achieve REALLY cool effects! This is particularly powerful when combined with the idea that drawing a frame of video happens line-by-line, top-to-bottom linearly over a span of time. If the hardware inside the cartridge re-maps memory in the middle of the graphics card outputting a frame, then everything before that point (i.e., above it/to the left on the TV) will look one way, and everything after that (below/to the right) will look another way. This can be used cleverly to, e.g., expand the maximum number of tiles that are visible at once, or even implement cool stuff like rudimentary vertical split screen! None of this would be possible if the NES fetched graphics data solely from internal VRAM, because if it did, there would be no way for custom in-cartridge hardware to intervene.

#nes #atari 7800 #sega master system #retro gaming

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deadcactuswalking · 6 months ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 01/06/2024 (Central Cee & Lil Baby, Bring Me the Horizon's POST HUMAN: NEX GEN, Zach Bryan)

Sabrina Carpenter’s still dominant on the UK Singles Chart as “Espresso” spends a fifth week at the top - welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: language, discussions of death, trauma, drug addiction

Rundown

As always, we start with our notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75 - which is what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we bid adios to Eurovision tracks like “Europapa” by Joost and “The Code” by Nemo, as well as “Family Matters” by Drake (telling that these three couldn’t make five weeks), “Outside of Love” by Becky Hill, “Jump” by Tyla, Gunna and Skilibeng, “Home” by Good Neighbours (Good riddance) and finally, “Back to Black” by the late Amy Winehouse.

We see one big return with Katy Perry’s catalogue streams rising thanks to some American Idol news or something - I don’t care, I imagine the catalogue sales for her biggest records are high enough anyway. This does mean “Teenage Dream” - the title track - is back at #72. It peaked and debuted at #2 for two weeks in 2010, being blocked by Olly Murs’ “Please Don’t Let Me Go” and Alexandra Burke’s “Start Without You” respectively, though I think we can agree which one of these three have actually managed to pass the test of time. To be thorough, the Glee cover peaked at #36 the next year. As for our gains, we have a small but notable batch of boosts for “Never Lose Me” by Flo Milli at #61, “Right Here” by Becky Hill at #60, “Smalltown Boy” by Bronski Beat at #55, “Miles on It” by Kane Brown and Marshmello at #47, “The Man Who Can’t be Moved” by The Script at #38, “The Door” by Teddy Swims at #35 and finally, all the way up in the top 10 for the first time, Myles Smith with “Stargazing” at #9.

The UK Singles Chart’s top five this week consists of Billie Eilish’s “BIRDS OF A FEATHER” spiking off of the debut up to #5, whilst Central Cee and Lil Baby debut right at #4 with their new track “BAND4BAND”. Following them up is the top three staying the same as last week’s: Shaboozey at #3 with “A Bar Song (Tipsy)”, Eilish again with “LUNCH” at #2 and of course, “Espresso” at #1. Now for what ended up debuting in the lower realms of the chart this week.

New Entries

#73 - “Fall Back” - Lithe

Produced by Lithe

Do I pronounce this “life” or “live”? It doesn’t matter, this is a blog. However you pronounce it, Lithe is from Melbourne and this is his viral breakout hit for an otherwise underground artist who seems to have produced and released this all by himself. This may explain why it’s garbage. Lithe strikes me as the kind of person who would make for a great additional vocalist on a maximalist project by, say, a Travis Scott type, because his vocals, which are very Travis as well, lure you into a mumbling Auto-Tuned atmosphere very effortlessly due to the layering of murmured ad-libs. The problem here is the utter shit production, consisting of rote trap presets in such a static and typical pattern that it almost stands out how frozen and dull trap beats can be because of one weird snare choice that sounds way too loud and mechanical. I know this is very nit-picky but there’s so little to this song, which relies entirely on Lithe for its melodic element considering the blank grey synths that practically could be completely absent under the looming trap dirge. Don’t ask about the lyrics, it’s bottom-of-the-barrel flexing, but at least this song is very uniquely terrible. It uses basic trap tropes, for sure, but Lithe is taking his own approach to things and creates a bad song that is bad in ways more established artists probably couldn’t pull off. That’s a compliment, genuinely.

#66 - “The Craving” - Twenty One Pilots

Produced by Tyler Joseph and Paul Meany

I think it’s somewhat telling that Bring Me the Horizon nabbed three debuts this week, but the usually more accessible Twenty One Pilots, with a higher-peaking album at #2, could only snatch one at #66. I usually care at least a little to check out these guys’ records but the lore aspect has always somewhat bothered me in that I know without fully emerging into it, I’ll never get the full intended effect and relationship with the music that they intend. This week’s effort, Clancy, was one I just straight-up didn’t bother listening to, especially on the grounds of not liking those singles at all. I was thinking that hopefully this could give me some reason to check it out, and, well, there is something to this one.

“The Craving” is available in two versions, with the version on the album being subtitled “(Jenna’s Version)”, referring to his wife Jenna and… yeah, the stripped-back, ukulele rendition on the record is pretty devastating. Starting with a static that obscures Jenna’s voice lamenting the fact their relationship may be deteroriating or stalling out as she grows older, the song is a ballad expressing Tyler’s inability to communicate and express the simple gestures that he loves her. It’s a pretty simple song compositionally but that makes complete sense as it feels like a song he can only sing improvisationally in her presence, but not with her listening. This may be a stretch, but I’m imagining “(Jenna’s version)” refers here not to dedicating the song and playing it to her but her being the muse for this version, which sounds like it could have been written very quickly in a night where he can’t fall asleep thinking about the subject matter whilst she’s fast asleep. The song explains that he can’t communicate this to her, and the visual it gives is Tyler playing the song quietly to himself as to not wake her up but knowing fully that he won’t be able to sleep for the rest of the night without it being expressed. The final chorus ends with an utmost declaration of his dedication to the marriage, complete with a voice crack, but that outro simply writes it off: once she’s awake, the promises mean nothing, and he can’t bring himself to all he promised: the simple act of reminding her that she’s loved. I will be 100% honest: this song kind of fucking broke me, and the imagery surrounding those choruses being one of waiting until demise, wherein the “she” who looks for Tyler as he lays down and tries to sleep could be both Jenna and God, made this a very affecting listen for me, or rather, several listens. I never know exactly what to expect from TOP, but I didn’t expect to be crying.

The single remix, co-produced with Spencer Stewart, is much lighter and breezier with its folk-pop production that’s reverbed to Hell and back and covers some of Tyler’s vocal faults with harmonies and whistling that makes it a bit too saccharine for my taste. I still think it’s a brilliant song but as a performance and production, not so much, and this puts me in a weird position because as far as OCC is concerned, these are both the charting song, I just happen to prefer the very slightly less streamed acoustic version a lot more. Personally, I think adding drums to “The Craving” may be an inspired touch because it takes that fear of death and adds a frolicking carpe diem feel to it but it also touches my soul a bit less by detaching Tyler further from reality: the problem isn’t that he’s separated from his wife, it’s nearly the opposite, with her continued presence acting as both why the song exists and why the emotion is so palpable. Regardless, if more of the album is this personal and honest, less lore-focused as the lead single really scared me off with, maybe I’ll find more to like on it because this acoustic version is genuinely shattering, might be their best song ever.

#57 - “LiMOusIne” - Bring Me the Horizon featuring AURORA

Produced by Zakk Cervini, Oli Sykes and Dan Lancaster

Another week, another album debuting three songs that I haven’t heard. I’ll be fair and say I probably should have listened to Billie’s record before the chart week, and I have since heard and greatly enjoyed her album, but for this one, can you blame me? Firstly, look at the way the tracks are stylised, secondly: whilst I did like the first edition of this POST HUMAN series from 2020, the incessant delay and consistent flow of really mediocre singles that leads to an album that seems a bit bloated compared to the last one’s conciseness because I guess all of them needed to be included. Thirdly, they lost their keyboardist Jordan Fish, also a major songwriting contributor to the band, who now has just a few more lyrical credits on this record than BloodPop, I’m genuinely quite weary that this’ll be another disappointing mess from Bring Me the Horizon. Regardless, I’ll give them this: they always experiment, and these three next songs are going to be interesting and weird, at least in comparison to what usually charts, so it’s good we have them all lined up consecutively. BMTH’s latest, POST HUMAN: NEX GEN, debuted at #5 on the albums chart and naturally, we have three debuts as that’s all OCC’ll allow.

The first to chart, “Limousine” (I’m not doing this, guys) features Norwegian singer AURORA, who had some viral success with “Runaway” a few years back, a song I never really liked and I honestly haven’t heard much else, so maybe I’m missing something by not checking her out - I’m definitely going to be missing something with these songs given the added context of understanding the album’s theme and narrative is pretty important for what seems like a loose concept album, though BMTH records can be so eclectic that it flies out of the window. See amo for a clear demonstration. This particular track takes us into the easy and quick blast frontman Oli Sykes gets from doing hard drugs and the power, authority he feels when he’s off them, hence the “Limousine” - it’s a luxury car you’re in the back of, drugged and being driven around, but you still feel in control. It does this through grinding metal riffs and some of the most strained vocals I’ve heard from Sykes, not in the sense that he hits any insane notes or belts but more so because he stretches out these melodies beyond their need, especially in the pre-chorus, with pitch correction not doing that great of a job to cover it. That sounds like an insult, but it’s really not: when he’s refuting the need for closure and the chorus starts with a stuttered glitching of the song’s last section out of existence, his slow luxury chauffer ride to death feels particularly potent and fittingly gruelling. There’s a seductive and sinister nature to some of the lyrics, AURORA kind of blends into the background which is perfect for this as Sykes’ streams drowning out the clearer, beautiful voice of reason is thematically perfect, that bridge with the keyboards is genuinely moving before everything crashes into shit in the screeching breakdown. That breakdown, however, demonstrates the one time this song succeeds in the mixing department for me, as there’s a muddiness to everything here and an unnecessary vocal focus that seems to push the heavier and cathartic elements back, which does not serve a track like this very well, when the progression into chaos should come from something that is genuinely unnerving and inescapable. A more immersive mix could have done wonders to what is structurally a very sound track that has great performances.

#50 - “YOUtopia” - Bring Me the Horizon

Produced by Zakk Cervini, Oli Sykes, Dan Lancaster and Lee Malia

We can actually split this episode quite nicely into the two songs below the Horizon, the two songs above them, and the Horizon itself. It works out quite nicely too because according to Sykes, “Youtopia” acts as a counterpart to “Limousine”, and I can definitely tell that from the lyrics, wherein Sykes begs for the ability to give his partner the best version of himself, a “youtopia” so to speak. He desperately wants to connect himself and his partner to that utopian setting, but can’t bring himself to do the self-improvement that would enable that kind of perfect relationship, one that you can kind of tell from the imagery either doesn’t exist or has been buried so far deep into obscurity by the constant perpetuance of negativity in everyday life. To be completely honest, I was worried that Bring Me the Horizon’s lyrics would turn as basic as some of the structural songwriting had been on the singles so I’m glad I can still both get a lot out of analysis and resonate pretty heavily with their notions, it’s the most frustrating feeling wanting to be something that no-one but your own insecurity expects you to live up to, so it just seems fruitless to achieve.

As for how it sounds, well, that basic songwriting is there for sure, but oh, my God, this is an insanely nostalgic sound for me. That late-2000s early-2010s Kerrang! TV post-hardcore sound combining fuzzy electronics with the lackadaisical guitars of 2000s emo-pop and often Auto-Tuned vocals - both the clean and unclean vocals, sometimes - as well as just killer hooks and chasm-esque mixing that makes the drums go so hard once they pound into full relentless chorus mode. Of course, BMTH take it into further electronicore territory with the sampled-sounding female vocals, tiny little vocalised riff in the first verse that’s an adorable touch, the birdsong passages of ambiance that mesh so well with the cleaner guitar build, and the hip hop drums in the second verse that actually go for a 2000s R&B groove instead of the typical trap skitter, which I commend them for doing - trap metal feels way too easy and wouldn’t have fit a longing song like this. The harmonies from Sykes and the filtered Dan Lancaster in the bridge are excellent, and whilst the guitar solo is in what I like to call Weezer-meter (very obviously and shamelessly just repeating the chorus lead melody), it’s oddly brief and inessential to the song, as the final post-chorus kind of takes its place with the string swell and incredible drumming from Matt Nicholls that winds down in an industrial squirt for the outro. Apart from once again some mixing that acts as a disservice - when there’s this much going on, I understand the difficulty in making it sound that dynamic, and thematically, sometimes it just wouldn’t make sense to - this is pretty much something I’d inject to my veins any day. I know I say this every time BMTH show up because they’re the country’s biggest left-field rock act currently, but something like this charting in the top 50 in 2024 never fails to put at least a smile on my face.

#41 - “Top 10 staTues tHat CriEd bloOd” - Bring Me the Horizon

Produced by Zakk Cervini, Oli Sykes and Dan Lancaster

This final song is titled like a WatchMojo video, and is a very clear single - the lyrics and songwriting are pretty basic woes, wound up in generic metaphors that Sykes and the lads have sung before. It’s got a pessimistic chorus and a vaguely motivational bridge, and so many lyrics that vaguely allude to prior singles that I can’t tell if these are purposeful references or they’re just that far into their careers that their attempt at being an “average” BMTH track is an amalgamation of all of their other obvious singles. Those lyrical allusions definitely make it a bit more obvious and distracting that this is the case, but musically, it’s in similar territory. They have a brief, cutesy electronic intro, this time slightly hyperpop-esque, before crashing into a catchy alt-metal riff and, yeah, it’s just obvious that this is pulling the tricks of their own trade in a very typical way. Sykes performs incredibly well as he pretty much always does, you can’t take away his passion, but the screaming and sound effects may be a bit much in that second verse. They even have a stop-and-start rhythm built into the chorus melody which feels very Bring Me the Horizon to do: stopping and starting is basically their motif and songwriting approach if we boil it down to borderline offensive essentials. They have an aggressive breakdown with rapid drumming and video game samples, a trap drum pattern in the final pre-chorus, a stuttered vocal, it’s all very by-the-numbers and that’s fine. We can’t all be zingers, sometimes we need to write something accessible and given the album is assumingly a mess (all BMTH albums kind of are, it’s by nature), something like this could be particularly refreshing within its context, and they did care enough to place an atmospheric ambient outro that may contextualise it even further. This is a perfectly cromulent Bring Me the Horizon song, but a bit underwhelming to end on here.

#31 - “Pink Skies” - Zach Bryan

Produced by Zach Bryan

Country star Zach Bryan is back, presumably, he’s got a 30-song album on the way and this is his lead single. As always with Mr. Bryan, it feels wise to discuss the lyrics here in some detail, as this paints a vivid picture of the life that a mother has left for her children at the time of her funeral. The kids who came from that small town are back there to celebrate their late mother’s life, and reflecting on those lessons they learned from the mundane outskirts: appreciating the “pink skies” as a sign of youthful vitality and peace and cleaning the old house as if it were never populated (which feels stereotypical but is very much true for how parents can behave), though with the caveat that those memories remain physically as what appear to be faults in the house but are unavoidable reminders of the life lived within it. The second verse and especially the chorus sing a pretty funny ode: she’d be proud of where her kids are but would still lightheartedly mock them as “yuppies”, and he even has the snark to comment that God probably heard her coming, which I assume she means that she never shut up. For a parent, that’s a great thing to have the ability to do, and it’s reassuring to think that in the afterlife, she still cares too much about her kids’ well-being. This hits particularly close to home for me, and the fact that this song makes great use of my favourite instrument, the harmonica, does not exactly help this from not being a bit of a personal tearjerker for me. Bryan’s smoky drawl comes with his typical homegrown organic instrumentation - though with a higher focus both lyrically and instrumentally on choppier rhythm which I find interesting - and the light female vocals panned into the left channel. Sonically, you could argue it’s a bit safe or easy for Bryan to come out with something that sounds like this, but think of the content: why shouldn’t he be back at home, and invite you into that warm, comforting place as openly as his mother would have? This guy already put out some of my favourite songs of last year, some of the art that emotionally resonated with me the most from that year, and it doesn’t seem like he’s stopping this year either. I adore this.

#4 - “BAND4BAND” - Central Cee and Lil Baby

Produced by Ghana Beats, Geenero and Aasis Beats

This is just such a neat week. We begin near the very bottom with pop-trap from the Anglosphere outside of the US and book-end it near the very top with a UK rapper, whilst sandwiched in the middle are rock and alternative acts, two of which are personal ballads by slightly more mainstream and lighter in sound, closer to more accessible genres they emerged from before developing their sound, and both on either side of three Bring Me the Horizon tracks from the same album. Thiss week just makes sense systematically, damn it, and I love to see it. Also, Central Cee and Lil Baby, I guess, the song’s fine. It’s a bit undercooked because - I repeat, Central Cee and Lil Baby - but the basic rising synth loop, even if very obviously just a basic and lazy implementation of a loop, has enough tension to make way for the heavy-hitting drill rhythm, which is a lot cleaner than some other drill tracks, but also uses much louder, mechanical hats - again, something it has in common with Lithe, and the grey cover arts are just furthering it all - that give an industrial and intense feel to this beat. As for our rappers, this is much more typical: Cench’s complaining about people not being real Muslims, talking about his Lambos, using rhyme schemes that prominently implement acronyms, being distracted by big booties and most importantly, going “Alllright”. It’s almost like “Top 10 Statues that Cried Blood” because Cench feels like an amalgamation of himself on here, though this isn’t a bad thing, he still has more energy than many other rappers and it was cute for him to exchange bars with Lil Baby. Lil Baby then continues to take the song over entirely, as the beat switches up slightly with that crawling trap skitter and Baby goes for his typical frog-throat, running-off-on-the-beat flow that goes insanely hard, bizarrely, without drums, as it builds into a very well-done beat drop. He’s similarly being an amalgamation of himself and his running themes, but there’s some cold wordplay with the birthday lyric and there’s always been something compelling about his relentless approach to just going on and on regardless of what the beat actually asks of him. Overall, I know I’ve sounded nit-picky but this is good, probably great even when taking it outside of the larger context and just treating it as a banger reaching across the Atlantic. There’s a real intensity and hunger to this that there hasn’t been for either in these guys in a while, and it’s refreshing to know that those efforts paid off for a very high and very deserved top five debut.

Conclusion

Considering this is a week mostly consisting of rock acts, it makes complete sense that it’s one of the best weeks for me. Hey, I listen to everything, but some genres will hit closer to home than others. As for the Best of the Week, it is genuinely an incredibly difficult decision, but unsurprisingly, Zach Bryan takes it for “Pink Skies” and the only reason that happened is because of the second single edit of “The Craving” by Twenty One Pilots that I do not care for, because Jenna’s version would run away with Best of the Week, it’s heartbreaking from the first vocal sample of Jenna herself to that final line. Unfortunately, due to the double billing, it’ll have to take Honourable Mention, and on any other week, I would easily be giving all of this praise to a song like “YOUtopia”, which I still love, or Hell, even “BAND4BAND”. Lithe takes Worst of the Week for “Fall Back”, obviously, and I hope the next batch of songs is either just as good as this one or gives me a lot less to talk about because sheesh, this is one of our shorter weeks and I’m still maxxing this word count out. For now, thank you for reading, rest in peace to Charlie Colin, and I’ll see you next week!

#uk singles chart #pop music #song review #bring me the horizon #post human: nex gen #twenty one pilots #zach bryan #lil baby #central cee #band4band #lithe #aurora

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