#thinking he's be living in Cabeswater

[ahomeganeyatsu]

Anyone out there who knows a fic where Ronan's in a Rapunzel situation? Because that scene from Mister Impossible where Aurora told Ronan to bury that secret forever, has made me crave for a similar premise.

Like what if they had been good at keeping it a secret? That they kept Ronan hidden?

[rodanseys]

ok i finished my yearly reread of trc and i must say something!!! it is likely someone already said on the internet far before me, but i must say it!!!!

and that thing is how trb and trk mirror one another because of the inversion of adam and gansey's function within the narrative.

obviously, in trb, we see adam sacrifice himself to cabeswater. it is a huge risk, yes, but it's true to adam's character because he's willing to do what gansey isn't because he thinks choosing anything other than listening to gansey is freedom. as a result, he's the leader of the group for most of the series. the first thing gansey does when interacting with adam is ask adam a qeustion. adam is consantly called on over the course of the series to find an alternative solution when gansey can't- he even mentions that in his own monologing (i think in bllb). the gray man refers to the gangsey, as we all know, as "adam parrish and his band of merry men." in other words, he is the king, driven by duty, both that he cannot choose bc of his upbringing and that he chooses bc he can't understand what true freedom yet.

meanwhile, we see development of gansey as the poet. he's the heart of the quest, the person who believes in it to make others believe. this is especially true in trk, where its repeatedly pointed out that gansey can say things in his Gansey voice and making them true. this not only reinforces his place as the poet, but his own (and other characters') awareness of it.

so there's been established and really, really hammered-over delegation of adam as the king and gansey as the poet. then, in trk, we have the scene where adam is being taken over by the demon that's also taking over cabeswater. at the end of that chapter, he is able to regain control over the demon and separate it from cabeswater simply by saying his eyes and hands belong to him again- like gansey would. liek a poet would! his necesity to do this within the plot, the obviousness of him doing this as a chracter (he never wanted to be controlled, just gansey's equal, but he couldn't realize the difference yet) also means that he has moved into the role of the poet (and what could be more of gansey's equal than him becoming who gansey was within the plot?). this leaves the king role, as a narrative function, finally open for gansey to fill.

and it works because we've already seen gansey becoming increasingly anxious throughout trk. he's feeling this sense of power start to shatter, the fear of a life after glendower. but he knows he must finish what he started. how is this shown in the text? when he leaves in the middle of the night to find glendower- a literal repetition of adam leaving alone to sacrifice himself on the line. but, this time, gansey is the one to initiate. he's finally on his way to becoming a king, figuratively and literally. but then, we realize geldower is dead. and this is where this mirroring becomes so rich and fascinating to me.

but why? because gansey, after discovering glendower is dead, also discovers something contradictory to the way this story must go: "glendower was dead. gansey kind of wanted to live." the moment after he realizes it, he becomes so afraid of receiving pity because of his selfishness to live outside the bounds of responsibility thrust upon him. he never had that before. no one stopped him from searching for glendower, from being obsessed. he had the time, money, resources, and charm (unlike adam) to pull off this really kind of ridiculous activity. but, now, he finally uderstands what it meant to sacrifice and it brings up a vulnerability he doesn't know what to do with.

and guess who else dealt with reponsibilites thrust upon them that they didn't know what to do with? who was afraid of being pitied instead of respected as a response? adam! gansey's becoming more like adam. like the king! and the narrative literally acknowledges this: "for the first time, gansey understood adam parrish perfectly."

so, of course, like adam, he must sacrifice something to achieve the actual power of the king in the narrative. so he does. he kisses blue and sacrifices his life. and how is it written? "he fell from her arms. he was a king." he was a king!!!! he was actually a king!!! because, like glendower, he was dead. he couldn't be glendower (which is all he wanted to be- brave, respected, loved, remembered) without dying. because glendower died! and gansey wanted to live! but he couldn't. because he couldn't be who he wanted to be without also taking on the responsibility of what it meant to be that person. he never reallt understood this; adam always did.

i really appreciate this inversion because it gives precedence to their friendship on the plot level: both of them had to meet, to get to know each other, to fight for the plot to start. but then, they had to understand each other, to work hard to love each other, and actually end up on the inverted of the narrative in order to become who they needed to be for the plot to conclude. and it also reinforces another large theme of the series: time as something cyclical. gansey living adam's younger years while adam lives gansey's. that this was required for them to know and love each other fully and for gansey to come back to life and not "throw it away."

[squash1]

something i’ve been thinking about a lot lately is the way that language in the dreamer trilogy & the raven cycle is a barrier to forming connection/community.

in the raven cycle we see a distinct lack of specific terms used between ronan and kavinsky. the word “dreamer” is not even used directly — instead the two of them talk conceptually about the dreaming process, about their respective “special places” (ronan’s being cabeswater), and how the dreaming “juice” runs out (but again, the terms “ley line” or “energy” are not used). there is a clear recognition of “sameness” or shared experiences between the boys, with kavinsky specifically saying he “knows what ronan is” (tho whether he’s referring to dreaming or ronan’s sexuality is up for debate i suppose).

this is really the first time ronan is connecting with a dreamer outside of his family. and his family, of course, has their own terms and language for dreaming. there is a barrier in the discussions ronan and kavinsky are having because of a lack of shared language. so much of what they experience as dreamers is isolated in the individual, so they are forced to talk around concepts because they don’t have universal terminology to fall back on.

i’ve talked extensively about how dreaming is a representation of chronic illness in the dreamer trilogy so i won’t go too far down that rabbit hole. But. something that is talked about within the disability/chronic illness community (and beyond) is the way that individuals can struggle to connect with people that have the same condition/similar experiences as them because of a lack of shared terminology to discuss abstract or hyper-specific concepts/feelings.

we see this in the raven cycle with kavinsky and ronan, and then we start to see it even more in the dreamer trilogy as ronan continues to find belonging and community with other dreamers. ronan and hennessy’s friendship requires them to bridge the language gap. though they both live as dreamers, because of their different experiences throughout their lives, they use different terminology to make meaning of their situation.

in knowing to one another, ronan and hennessy are exposing each other to new, shareable language. ronan shares his term for “nightwash,” and hennessy shares her term for “the lace.” both of them adapt to using this new language for a shared conceptual experience and in doing so are able to connect more fully with one another. in the raven king, i believe it is quite possible that ronan and adam had encountered the lace — a dark entity that whispered their worst fears to them — but did not have the term yet to describe it. obviously, terminology does not outweigh experience, but it is an important element of forming community through shared experience.

there’s also the way that the moderators use the term “zed” instead of “dreamer” — at first it is unclear what zeds even are because as the reader we have only ever had the language provided by ronan. in this experience of coming to realize that “zeds” are equivalent to “dreamers,” we as the reader experience the same sort of dissonance that dreamers themselves experience when trying to connect with one another without universal/shared language.

for ronan specifically, in both trc and tdt, there’s always an element of translation. in the dreaming world, his dreams speak in either latin or a dream language that doesn’t exist in the waking world. in his dreams ronan understands the dream language, but outside of them he can’t. ronan working so hard to learn latin is intentional — by understanding it in and outside of his dreams, he can bridge a language gap for himself; can understand his waking world AND his dreaming world at once. he studies it like his life depends on it because. it. does. the puzzle box is also helpful to ronan because it makes something that is unreal in the waking world, real — it is confirmation of the validity of that language. whether you’re thinking of dreaming as a metaphor for chronic illness, mental illness, or some other identity, the point is about the feeling of otherness, of inability. ronan only feels strange & lost & like he doesn’t know what the hell he is outside of his dreams where no one else understands his language. where he is confronted by being unable to speak to what he lives in his head.

in conclusion:

ronan lynch i love you.

[plutoslvr]

something about gansey thinking about his death and subconsciously holding a hand up to his ear and noah gently prying his hand away to blow on his ear and tell him nothing's there... something about gansey confiding in noah that he doesn't know who he is if he's not searching for glendower and doesn't know how to be that person again and noah saying that's exactly how he feels about being alive... something about gansey looking at ghostly, pale, dead noah and thinking that it should've been him that should be dead, that someone so full of life and purpose like noah who was betrayed and murdered should've lived instead of him, someone who had died because of his own carelessness and noah saying that cabeswater must've saved him from a reason knowing damn well that it was noah that saved him and nothing else.

[sunflowersandscreams]

finished the raven boys. exhale.

really good. holy shit what a downward spiral.

adam pressing charges and then slowly losing more and more control, which is one of the most important things to him and reflective of the nature of abuse (taking away someone's control). can't wait to read on to see what the consequences of him sacrificing himself are. also him living with his disability- I personally don't have hearing loss but i always love to read stories with disability elements, whether metaphorical or literal. also interested in if this is it with his family? because it feels like he has more to go through there. i also think there's a risk of him becoming more isolated at the church apartment(?). unsure. also him and blue are so sweet. i hope they don't crash and burn.

ronan- doesn't have the most massive part in this book. with his last line i suspect we'll go more in depth on his dream powers(?) later on. (wish the last scene and ronans line had been a bit more drawn out. it felt jarring and too much too fast). love him so far and hope there's more of his pov in the next book. what a piece of shit (affectionate).

noah- what the fuuuck. man. so I assume he just does not age? how will this relate to the others growing older and moving out and living their own lives? I assume at some point they'll kind of have to let him go? but very curious about who he was before he was a ghost/spirit.

whelk- holy moly. wish we'd gotten a little more on his background but i get that this book is kind of vague and ephemeral with details sometimes. his death felt very impactful because of how quickly his power was stripped away, i think. love the anti-gun sentiment through the book btw. truly nothing has ever been fixed with a gun.

neeve & maura- just a big question mark. especially with neeves ambitions and weird mask stuff. giving me the vibes of an evil mirror twin but I don't think that's the case. Maura i love you. she's sensible but a bit messy, much like blue. I have no idea where the dad plot point is going but eager to find out.

gansey- what's wrong with you fr. he's at his best when he's miserable <3 I love the flashes of him and blue. can't wait to see them fall in love and be star crossed lovers. hate his nickname as well as blue's. i don't see the appeal. fuck he's just so tragic. he falls in love with everyone he meets and he's very genuine but also naive in many ways bc of his privilege. him and ronan augvvh i can't wait to see more. him and Adam are soso bad for each other except when they're not. i can see why many people say polyamory for these people. (or maybe im just in an echo chamber.)

blue- my girl!! she has so much life and energy to her i really want to know why she doesn't have powers similar to her mother's and is only a magic amplifier. i wonder if she'll discover some? I like her interactions and her initial outsider sort of vibe but she's confident enough to fake it til she makes it and get in with the group. I wish they could be happy. love her attraction to everyone in the group, wanting to impress ronan, instant zing with Noah, sweetness with Adam, and banter with gansey. she's very brave but not in a way that feels hashtag badass in some 2010s YA lit. want to see her break down and lose her mind a bit though.

okay! those are my thoughts on characters. as for plot- something is very much starting. it feels like there are layers to this. with more books and gansey having searched in other countries for ley lines i hope we get some more settings outside of Henrietta, but keep a main focus on the town. cabeswater isn't done with them yet and there is something definitely sinister about it. i don't think it's a force for evil but definitely outside human morals and very very powerful.

I'm curious as to how the Latin fits in- to my knowledge this book has elements of Irish & Welsh folklore, and Latin reads more Roman to me? but maybe I'm uninformed & I might do more research into this after I've finished the whole series so i don't spoil myself.

okay. post done! again please don't spoil for future books.

[ronanlynchdefender]

An Asexual Reading of Gansey

A little while ago, I made a post saying Gansey should’ve been ace “because reasons” and then I decided to write a post detailing those reasons and here it is.

As someone who is ace, I think many ace-spec (and aro-spec) people conceptualize our romantic and platonic relationships differently than allo people might. When reading The Raven Cycle, I personally related to Gansey and how he thinks and feels about his friendships with the raven boys. Had Gansey been written as an asexual character, I think it would’ve added another layer of nuance to the unique ways in which he views these platonic relationships.

"What has he possibly done to deserve such a thing?" Helen demanded. "Are you sleeping with him?" Indignation cooled his voice. "Because friendship isn't worthy enough?" (The Raven King, pg. 303)

Gansey prioritizes his platonic relationships just as much as his romantic relationships. In fact, Gansey’s primary concerns in the entire series (aside from finding Glendower) are his intense (and often tumultuous) friendships. His friends are such a priority that he brides the headmaster in order to guarantee that Ronan gets his high school diploma. Helen assumes that only a romantic or sexual connection would motivate someone to do something so extreme, but Gansey pushes back on this idea. For Gansey, friendship is just as worthy and just as important as any other relationship. The words,  "just a friend," are meaningless in a Gansey world. If Richard Campbell Gansey III chooses you as his close friend, he will go to the ends of the ley line for you.

I think this is something that ace-spec and aro-spec people can relate to because we may also place higher value in our friendships just like Gansey does. Just because we don’t experience romantic or sexual feelings in the same way as everyone else, or at all, doesn’t mean we won’t still do batshit crazy things for other people.

For an ace or aro-spec person, platonic relationships can be just as strong as romantic or sexual relationships are for allo people. 

“Do you not want me to come?” Something stuck in Gansey’s throat. “I would take all of you anywhere with me.” (The Raven Boys, pg. 163)

This is just an absolutely beautiful line, and what makes it so is that Gansey truly means it. It’s so sincere and vulnerable. The things that Gansey values most in his life are his friendships, and he just wants all of them to be together forever. Besides finding Glendower, his dream in life is to literally live with all his friends in Monmouth. He begs Adam to move in with them. And I KNOW I am not the only ace-spec or aro-spec person who dreams about living in a big house with all their closest friends.

What was it about Blue? Adam was not suspicious of her, and he was suspicious of everyone. But then again, he was clearly infatuated. That, too, was unfamiliar ground for Gansey. (The Raven Boys, pg. 201)

In these couple of chapters when Adam asks Blue out with the guys and they find Cabeswater for the first time, Gansey is confused about Adam’s feelings toward Blue. There are a few interpretations: Gansey is jealous of Adam because he is attracted to Blue; Gansey is jealous of Blue because he is in love with Adam. Both of these interpretations are, of course, not mutually exclusive.

Regardless of any jealousy or attraction he may or may not be feeling in this scene, Gansey is genuinely confused because Adam liking a girl so openly is inconsistent with his perception of Adam. It is exactly as Gansey says. Adam doesn’t trust people.  To see Adam trust another person so suddenly and inexplicably in Gansey’s eyes is disconcerting to say the least.

At the door to the helicopter, Gansey looked back over his shoulder at them, his smile complicated when he saw them holding hands. (The Raven Boys, pg. 196)

Obviously, Adam has a crush on Blue, but this isn’t easy for Gansey to wrap his head around. It's easy for Gansey to conceptualize that Adam may admire this strange and quirky girl from afar at Nino's, but seeing them physically close after only 2 or 3 encounters utterly puzzles him.

I feel like a lot of ace-spec and aro-spec people can relate to the confusion around sudden attraction. We ask totally reasonable questions such as how do you know you like someone after only having one or two conversations with them?

If Gansey was written as asexual, one could interpret this scene as Gansey not understanding the nature of Adam's romantic or sexual attraction to Blue. It would not be Adam’s crush that puzzles Gansey but also the idea of crushes altogether.

[Side note: Just imagine a version of Raven Boys where Gansey is lamenting the downfall of his queerplatonic relationship with Adam because Adam has a crush on a girl. It’s not even too far off from what actually happens in the books. Lmao]

“We’re friends at once, we would instantly do what friends would do for each other. Not just pals. Friends. Blood brothers. You just feel it. We instead of you and me. That’s jeong.” Gansey was aware on a certain level that the description was melodramatic, heightened, illogical. But on a deeper level, it felt true, and familiar, and like it explained much of Gansey’s life. It was how he felt about Ronan and Adam and Noah and Blue. With each of them, it had felt instantly right: relieving. Finally, he thought, he’d found them. We instead of you and me. (The Raven King, pg. 360)

How interesting that Gansey bonds with Henry Cheng, The Raven Cycle’s most aroace-coded character, about the concept of platonic soulmates. This point is pretty self-explanatory. I feel like a lot of ace and aro-spec people relate to the concept of platonic soulmates.

In conclusion, I think making Gansey asexual could’ve added another layer of nuance to the already nuanced relationships he has with all of the members of the gangsey. While it is evident in certain scenes that Gansey was not intended to be an ace-coded character, I still resonate with the ways Gansey feels about his relationships.

Also, I know I wrote about ace and aro-spec people in general for this post, but this is mainly from my own personal perspective so obviously the points I make are not necessarily representative of the entire community.

If any other aces (or aros) are reading this, let me know if you relate or if this is just a me thing. I’m curious to hear what other people think about this topic.

[nibblette]

And here is my top 10 TRC fics Part 2

6. There’s no place like my room.

This is a heartstring tugger. This takes place after the events of Greywaren but before the epilogue. Ronan has terrible dreams of an elderly and dying Adam and brings back Alzheimer’s disease drugs and medical equipment from his dreams. Adam is approached by the feds to join their new dreamer & dream protection. I love that Ronan has to go back to 300 Fox Way. Adam and Declan interact with each other. There’s a happy ending. Part of the ending is inspired by some Pynch fan-art from another artist.

7. In One Piece by creativefiend19

An apparently unfinished Fic but I thought it ended well enough. Another BDSM/kink fic, surprise, surprise. This one has great sex scenes that even have companion art works!

This is mostly Adam’s POV. Adam is still freaked out about the demon using him to choke Ronan. Ronan comforts him by sharing his kinky fantasies. Adam starts to wrap his mind around Ronan’s need for kink and subbing. There is a wealth of sex scenes. Adam thinks up a delightful Valentine’s Day gift for Ronan- sneaking into Aglionby’s Latin classroom to fulfill Ronan’s fantasy to have sex with Adam there. The story continues. The author makes good use of the canon “forsan er haec olim….” quote. Ronan is totally Ronan and makes a list of scenes he wants to do in Latin, lol. The fic goes on to flesh out the pre-Call Down the Hawk Pynch relationship exceedingly well. Highly recommend! The accompanying artwork by sneaky_git are fabulous as well!

8. Home to Me by Parakeats (the main story of the Time Travel AU) https://archiveofourown.org/series/1983088

This fic is so great but it’s unfinished 😭 I love it so much and I wish the author would finish it. Or at least give a synopsis of the ending. It’s an awesome story about a future, older AU Adam being sent back in time to the canon story because Cabeswater needs him. He lives in a slightly different dimension where he is married to Ronan, and his “sacrifice” was to the Greywaren himself, not Cabeswater (which is still in the future AU). Niall is still alive but sort of a villain. Younger, canon Adam is sent to the future AU with older long haired, in control of his power Ronan, but something is wrong with Matthew in this timeline.

This fic has an absolutely sexy and amazing AU of the AU companion smut Fic about younger Ronan coming on to older!Adam! older!Adam takes charge of the encounter and blows young!Ronan’s mind. Ooooo!

9. Another Lil_Redhead post Greywaren fic- ( though it’s an AU). This fic imagines a post-Greywaren-climax where Hennessy wasn’t able to grab all the little bits of Adam spirit from the sweetmetal sea and the lost part was Adam’s romantic love for Ronan. Adam goes back to Harvard quickly but Ronan is devastated. Ronan stays in Boston with Declan (and to be close-ish to Adam). Adam puts together the hints that he and Ronan were lovers, not just best friends. He finds his secret stash of Ronan porn on his phone and falls in lust and love again. This is another tear jerker but with a happy ending.

[kitttttchaos]

Ik people type Adam as an enneagram 3, but I think he’s an 8

8s want freedom. That’s their core desire. Autonomy, and control over their own lives. “The most important thing to Adam Parrish, though, had always been free will. The ability to be his own master.” He fights with Gansey because Gansey, in his efforts to be a better person and be worthy of all he has, infringes on Adam’s free will. Adam doesn’t care that Gansey doesn’t mean to do that, because free will—at least at the beginning—is more important to him than anything else. It’s all he has, really, because it’s all he earned. In that regard, I could see how people would type him as a 3w4, with the idea of earning your worth and the inferiority complex. But for Adam, I don’t think those complexes effect how he presents himself, like they do for Gansey. Adam is always Adam, he never pretends to be anything else for any reason—except less angry.

I think he’s an 8w9. 8w9s, in my experience (this is not me projecting lol) tend to be more compassionate than typical 8w7s. They see the things that controlling 8w7s do and how that impacts others, and they completely avoid doing those things. Adam, though he gets angry all the time, detests people who blow up in rage, like his father, and in the earlier books, Ronan. He values being calm, almost as if his anger is a weakness. He lets himself be controlled by Cabeswater for the good of his friends, but heaven forbid he let himself be controlled by Gansey, because Gansey is associated with all the things Adam hates. 8s, a lot of times, tend to build up a lot of resentment, and especially 8w9s who don’t unleash their anger all at once. Adam’s arc is about realizing justice, in a sense. He has this idea of what’s right and wrong in the beginning, but it doesn’t pertain to his own actions. But as the story continues, that justice becomes more clear, and Adam is able to forgive his friends for being a part of something he resents, and serve and love them, without the fear of being taken advantage of.

Jeez, every time I read these books I learn more about myself…

[ahomeganeyatsu]

and as I am on my Rovinsky thoughts and my kinda rapunzel au:

Here the tower is Cabeswater, and Ronan lives there.

Kavinsky steals from Cabeswater still and somehow in one of his jaunts, he gets a glimpse of Ronan. At first, Kavinsky thought he imagined it, coz mindfuckery and not wanting to get caught by the trees.

The next time, he finds the other person, boy whatever, looking at him. It keeps happening, until Kavinsky on one of his dreams, actually tries looking for him. He thinks Ronan is one of his dreams, something like this place creating a guilt switch in him by way of this boy with the bluest eyes and a sharpness to his handsome face that Kavinksy can feel the sting of a cut just imagining himself touching him.

And somehow, the stealing still happens, but Kavinsky comes to dream for Ronan more than anything.

They race. They fight. And Kavinsky burns and burns for this dream's company.

And he tries to take him out of Cabeswater, but Ronan refuses, runs away. And it frustrates Kavinsky, that this dream of his is so elusive. That he can't hold onto it long enough to bring him to the waking.

Then, somehow, it all stops. Ronan the dream is gone from the place.

He thought this place had enough of him, that mercy was done and took this one nice thing. Nothing new in the life of Joseph Kavinsky.

And one day, he sees him at Nino's. He's not alone.

He sees him with the King.

[jordanshenessy]

I got Dream Thieves sooner than I expected! It's good to get back into the groove of the series.

I definitely missed Ronan and all the moments where it's revealed how sweet he is and how he comes off as mean or rude because he is protective of the people he loves. I particularly appreciate his relationship with Matthew (such a golden retriever, the sweet boy!!!). I almost wonder if his rough exterior is perpetuated by the way people treat him- like even the way Calla calls him "Snake", surely that must continue a cycle where he feels the need to outwardly be a "bad boy".

Golly gee, I forgot everything Blue goes through in this book- kissing Noah, breaking up with Adam, her night car ride with Gansey. This girl sure has the romantic drama!

It does make me sad, though, how Noah kinda loses his importaces after the first book? Like, ofc he's still there and the catalyst of it all, but... he's a fading boy.

Also, I know the whole point of Adam's story is that he's changing because of Cabeswater and the power/influence waking the ley line gives him. (Maybe even the confidence to pave his own way in life!) but the line about him and Gansey being on perpendicular paths, not parallel ones, actually hit so hard. Like yeah... sometimes life's that way, and it really does suck, and you just have to keep on living it, even if your best friend has to follow a different route.

(I forgot Kavinsky died, but whoooooops. I also kinda love and hate his role, like ik he kinda has to be there for Ronan's Adam awakening, but also... I feel like he really pulls Ronan into his toxic circle before he goes out.)

Anywayyyy

Thanks for listening to my ramble. I'm taking a book break before Blue Lily, Lily Blue, but I will be back!

Take care ♡

Hiii! Ronan 😔✋ he was going through it in this book and I also think it’s bc he’s just always feeling like he’s so other and doesn’t fit into this world bc of his dreaming and everything (especially given greywaren) So yeah Ronan goes through life with a hard exterior bc I think after his father’s death, he has the stress of making sure he doesn’t become a cause of another one. He’s had to learn to keep his distance and try not to care but he cares so much and it fucks him up inside. Also the tension between him and Declan and how Matthew ironically tethers him in this world bc Ronan loves him so much and after Declan’s pov in the dreamer trilogy the lynch brothers will forever have changed me.

Kavinsky ma boi! (I actually also hated him when I was first reading lmao)

Omg blue was also going through it in this book 😭 and also when I first read it I was so annoyed that Adam just kept wanting to kiss blue and wasn’t taking the no (like being all pissy and sad) cuz I was like she shouldn’t. have. to give. you. a reason! But then I was also like Adam just wants to be loved and to be wanted and blue DID want to kiss him but she didn’t want to risk it cuz like imagine you kiss a dude bc you think ur not soulmates and then u end up killing him anyway OOF so their breakup was so angsty but much needed cuz they just were not ready for each other (Adam bc he was just getting frustrated blue was keeping something from him and Blue bc she wasn’t ready to tell him about the curse)

And so! When blue and Noah kissed I was like this is so fucked up just let them all kiss each other 😭

I will also always be so bittersweet about Noah bc from a storytelling perspective yes him fading away and being forgotten is important but also…noah come back 😭

Adam and gansey will always take my organs and mix them all up in my insides like a salad

They are so alike. They are so different. They want to be each other. They want each other. They want they want they want.

“I wish you could be kissed, Jane,” he said. “Because I would beg just one off you. Under all this.”

Cannot wait for when you reread blue lily lily blue have a nice break mwuah mwuah 💕

[squash1]

alright alright alright. i want to get into the soldier, poet, king discourse because my controversial opinion is that gansey is not, in fact, the king But the poet. and adam is the king. and obviously ronan is, and forever will be, the soldier.

being the king, at its core, is about being driven by duty rather than desire. the king is practical sometimes to their own detriment. adam parrish is the king. adam is driven by duty — sometimes duty to others but also duty to himself to become someone he’s proud of — and he often ignores his true wants in favor of the practical, “right” choices. think of mr gray saying “adam parrish and his band of merry men” and maura responding that she would have said it was gansey’s band. but it’s actually adam who keeps the gangsey in line. it’s adam who can get gansey inspired to continue his quest by coming up with possible solutions out of thin air, it’s adam who keeps a watchful eye out for anyone who might be out to get them, and adam who makes the ultimate sacrifice to cabeswater to further the quest. adam would probably prefer to be the poet, but he sees the impracticality of it and chooses to accumulate success that is easily measured instead.

gansey is the poet through and through. he is the orpheus of the gangsey. he’s the one spinning the delightful tale of glendower and the hunt. by saying “what do you know about dead welsh kings?” he is inviting anyone who will listen into this story, this magic that he’s created/found. he is not always practical but he’s so charming that it doesn’t matter. he lives in a world of whimsy where things just want to be found and where he believes and leads other people to believe too. the real gansey is the poet not the king.

ronan is just. so. obviously. the soldier. the soldier is impractical but not in the same way as the poet — the soldier is reckless and does not think of the consequences before acting. ronan is fiercely protective of those he cares about and does not usually think before doing just about anything. he is angry angry angry. soldiers do what they want and are leaders in their own way, but they often lead with anger and feel as though their anger is a rebellion. ronan is the right hand man, the one who has to be held back but is ultimately the secret weapon. (be dangerous).

i will also say that the solider defends the king and the poet inspires the king and the king keeps everyone on track. ronan defends and would defend adam to the grave (“the choice was death or hurting adam, which wasn't much of a choice at all”), gansey does literally anything just to make adam believe or even just smile, and adam, as we’ve established, is the sensible one that is steering them all to success.

[friendofcars]

“what he wanted was to know what he wanted.” for the quote ask thing. such a cool idea!

thank you - it's been so fun answering these!

my guess: incredibly dream thieves era ronan sentiment. i think this is when kavinsky is teaching him to dream and says something like "you have to know what you want" or "you have to go after what you want." not sure which chapter but maybe in the 40s?

the answer: well. this went well for me.

(which is tdt, chapter 41!)

my thoughts: this phrase is the key to ronan's arc in tdt imo (or at least the first part of it. he has to know what he wants but he also has to lean how to obtain/achieve it). "what he wanted" refers, beyond controlling his dreaming, to his repressed feelings for adam/his second secret, the path in life he wants to take, whether he wants to follow the example of kavinsky or gansey, whether he wants to live, and whether he wants to stop hating himself. by the end of the book he makes his choice(s), but it takes time for him to realize that the choice isn't strictly kavinsky or gansey, it's himself/his life (and through his realization of his own self-esteem and self-love, adam. he basically also chooses gansey, but that's a whole other story.). he has to choose himself before the second secret becomes clear. interesting that he also has to choose himself/his human life/humanity in greywaren. i think ronan wanting to know what he wants is not the same as him interpreting all of his intense emotions as (or replacing them with) anger, but there's a common theme of his own thoughts and feelings being inaccessible to him.

this line also contrasts ronan with adam, who has a long list of conscious wants (many of which are basic survival needs). this also makes me think of adam (as all things do) because of ronan and cabeswater's clumsy attempts to communicate with adam (in ronan's dreams and in adam's visions) which i think is in league with ronan's inability to articulate feelings. i'm trying not to write a novel here but this arc leads me to ronan learning to ask and cooperate with cabeswater to pull the replacement camaro out of his dream, as well as his use of the puzzle box at the end of the book to ask cabeswater "please" in dream language, and as we all know, ronan saying "please" in the presence of adam is !!!!!!! there's something in here about kavinsky's strategy of being a thief and taking what he wants (and also the way he treats ronan, kidnaps matthew, etc. it literally just hit me that kavinsky is a dream thief not only because of the way he dreams and carelessly drains cabeswater, but because he kidnaps matthew, who is a dream.) versus ronan's requests to cabeswater to work with and support his dreaming. i'm sure there's something to be said here about art forgery and original work as well as attitudes towards natural resources/the environment and other such things.

and a bit more about kavinsky: kavinsky forges ahead in the conversation without ronan responding. his wide smile = hunger (which is greed, desire, maybe even insatiable loneliness). the mitsubishi is described as voracious earlier in the book. we know that ronan looks for someone to lead him since niall cannot teach him how to dream from the grave, and kavinsky is a compelling option to him for their shared experiences and kavinsky knowing what he wants and how to take it. but as ronan follows kavinsky down the rabbit hole of thieving (doesn't kavinsky erroneously reference a white rabbit in chapter 6 or 7?), he understands how this hurts cabeswater, so he concludes that kavinsky is not the kind of dreamer he wants to be. gansey is the kind of leader he wants to follow and protect. and ronan doesn't know it yet, but gansey = cabeswater anyway. so kavinsky does teach him how to figure out what he wants- but what ronan wants is in opposition to what kavinsky wants: for their relationship or lack thereof, for the ley line (and adam, and noah, and cabeswater, and all that depend on it or are tied to it), for themselves, etc.

[quensty]

tagged by @moondal514 (thanks babe!) to put my spotify on repeat playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 songs. or at least that’s the way i’m doing this 🤷

if u’re wondering why i’m using the rooster emoji that is strictly mexican business go back to ur drinks

🐓 it will come back by hozier: i think abt the lines “don’t let it in with no intention to keep it / jesus christ don’t be kind to it” every single day

🐓 lafayette by orville peck: the first time i listened to this song i was at school and i’d accidentally fallen asleep with my headphones on. i woke up solely to make sure i favorited this song. i think that tells u how severely this song slaps.

🐓 25 minutes to go by johnny cash: every time i listen to this song i start off super pumped and get increasingly sadder as it continues. it’s two minutes and 56 seconds of pure genius. to tell the story of a man on death row as he counts down the time to his execution. it’s funny and sharp and brutal, but i do think regularly abt these lines cash omitted: “well, my lawyer says he's sorry he missed my case / fifteen minutes to go / yeah, well if you're so sorry, come up and take my place / i got fourteen minutes to go”

🐓 wayfaring stranger by poor man’s poison: i’m abt to admit a ghastly sin but i prefer this version to johnny cash’s 😞 i think it’s the combination of guitar and whatever string instrument they use plus how it gradually crescendos that makes it life changing

🐓 no children by the mountain goats: when i first listened to this song at 13 i couldn’t have possibly known it would change me completely as a person the way it did. omg i just realized it’s been a consistent fave song of mine for nearly ten years … moving on

🐓 babooshka by kate bush: she NEVER misses. kate bush i would die for u

🐓 eat your young by hozier: my brother and i are going to his concert this year and i’m so fucking excited. i’ve missed his music so much. i’m ngl to ya’ll i might cry

🐓 mitchell: epic iii by the cast of hadestown: “and suddenly hades was only a man / with the taste of nectar upon his lips” how am i meant to be normal abt this song fr. hades king of the scythe and the sword who scrapes the sky and scars the earth in love. AND THEN: ”where is ur pleasure? / where is your youth? / where is the man with his head in his hands? / who stands in the garden nothing to lose” gagging

🐓 hasta que te conocí by juan gabriel: i listened to juan gabriel throughout my entire childhood and considered one of the best musicians to ever live. when i found out he was gay, i cried for like an hour out of sheer happiness and emotion. this song is just one of my dozens of favorites of his.

🐓 hungover in jonestown by amigo the devil: i seriously think amigo the devil as a band infiltrated my brain, took note of all the things that make me most ill, and then decided to write music specifically intended to make me foam at the mouth. “i tie the noose but you are the rope … if i am the drunk you are the wheel” JESUS CHRIST

i’m tagging: @cabeswater @youthbleeding @keepoffthetardis @minimyz and whoever else wants to do this! consider urself tagged :) <3

[mychemicalrachel]

14 for Pynch for the dialogue ask, please! 🥺😭

Hi Sarah, thanks for the prompt!! 🥰

[ROMANCE PROMPTS]

14. "i dream of you. all i do, is dream of you."

Ronan's dreams were never just his own. Sharing the dreamspace with Kavinsky, the darkest shadows haunted by the demon, Adam's scrying, traipsing through Cabeswater with Gansey and the others– his thoughts, his deepest desires and greatest fears, dragged into the living world for all to see.

The things in his head didn't often stay inside for very long.

But Adam…

Adam was an enigma.

He long ago perfected the passive art of indifference. Apathetic was his default expression.

Ronan knew him better than anyone and yet, sometimes, he felt he didn't actually know him at all. He laid on his side, trailing soft fingers across Adam's bare skin, feeling without actually touching, and wondered, not for the first time, what went on in Adam's head when his eyes were closed.

When he stirred, blinking up at Ronan, a tired smile falling across his lips, Ronan felt powerless, completely at the mercy of this beautiful boy. He swooped in to give him a kiss and Adam's smile stretched into a grin.

"You weirdo," he said fondly. "Were you watching me sleep?"

Ronan nodded, unashamed. "You're really pretty when you sleep."

Adam covered his face with both hands. "Shut up. I'm not pretty."

"Beautiful then," Ronan amended. "Gorgeous. Stunning. Breathtaking." He pushed some hair out of Adam's eyes in order to better see the bright blue– like swimming, lost in the sea, or like flying, surrounded by the clouds. He wondered if he could dig deep enough to see what laid underneath. He wished there was a way to crack Adam open, climb inside his skull.

"You're thinkin' awful loud over there, Lynch," Adam said. In his sleepiness, his accent pulled his vowels down, running them together into something like a poem.

Ronan made a shrugging sort of noise, resting his chin on Adam's shoulder. If only he could stare into a bowl of water and see Adam’s dreams as easily as Adam could see his.

"What were you dreaming about?"

“You,” Adam said seamlessly. “I dream of you. All I do is dream of you.”

It was either the truth or the prettiest lie that Ronan had ever heard. “Me?”

Adam nodded and threaded his fingers through Ronan’s where they rested on his chest, right above his heart. He couldn’t actually feel Adam’s pulse, but he could pretend. He put his lips to Adam’s skin. “And, uh– what was I doing in the dream?”

Adam’s laugh was a physical thing inside Ronan– the kind of sound, the feeling, that Ronan couldn’t capture in his dreams if he tried. A memory didn’t hold the same appeal as the real thing, living and breathing beneath him. “I don’t know if I can explain it very well. My dreams aren’t as vivid as yours.”

Ronan bit down on Adam’s shoulder and then soothed the mark with his tongue. “Maybe you could just show me instead.”

When he met Adam’s gaze again, his blue eyes blazed. It wasn’t hard, in that moment, to imagine exactly what he was thinking, what he was feeling, what he was wanting. His thoughts played clear across his face. Ronan met him halfway, kissing him before Adam even had a chance to ask for it.

[nibblette]

The Gangsey’s list of possible Hallowee costumes

Gansey

Glendower, duh

super accurate Medieval/Renaissance lord

1930s train hopping hobo

A forest

A politician

A cowboy (“yeehaw! Battered and broken, just like women like them”😂)

A fancy show pigeon 😂 (a La when Mallory calls him from a pigeon show and rambles on about it)

A Pig 🚘 Transformer bot

Stereotypical gym bro 😂

Anime school girl

Literal “President Cellphone”

Mountain man

Cat with nine lives (sexy cat?😅)

One of the Three Stooges (group costume with Blue and Cheng)

Henry Cheng

Congress? (Idk how that would work)

Capitol Hill?

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

A Teal (duck)

Greaser/“bad boy”

The Doctor (I’m seeing him as the Tom Barker one with the scarf)

A bee or wasp (the spookiest thing he can think of)

A brook trout or the golden flying fish (from Cabeswater)

A (yogurt) spoon (couples costume with Blue as the yogurt cup 😅)

A mint plant

[death-and-other-myths]

Blue Lily, Lily Blue Deadass Book Review

By Maggie Stievfater

This is an unhinged book review/recap of Blue Lily, Lily Blue and shits about to get WIERD AS HELL for Blue and her 4 private school dude friends. AUGH!!

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

This book opens with Adam and Persephone standing on a mountain in the billowing wind doing cool psychic shit, like being able to turn and stand on the leyline and know exactly where it is. She asks Adam what he sees, he closes his eyes. She has to keep reminding him to look outside, not inside. Inside are painful memories and present anxieties. He thinks of the shattered glass things on Gansey’s mansion floor. But when he focuses, he sees 3 sleeping things that need to be woken up. Persephone sees them too, but says no.. it’s 2. One of them shouldn’t be woken up. 

So it’s been a month since Maura disappeared, leaving only a cryptic note. “Glendower is underground and so am I.” — Blue is being strong, but she can’t help but feel a little abandoned. Like we all know Maura went down there looking for Artemis. 

Luckily, we check in on Maura and she’s fine. Time doesn’t exist in the cave. So to her it feels like it’s been a few minutes but it’s really been a month. 

In the meantime, Blue and the boys have been going to hang out at Cabeswater every day. It’s fall, but when they’re there, they wish for it to be summer, so the forest makes it summer. YOU HAVE TO BE SO CAREFUL what you think in this stupid forest. It does nice things like makes the fish change colors, but if you think something like “I could just crawl out of my skin” you will literally be skinned lol. Literal-ass forest. 

There is this really beautiful part where Blue tests out the magic. She thinks of blue lilies and it starts raining blue petals. A petal lands on Gansey’s lips. He sits up and is like “Okay. It’s time.” 

Oh, Noah is there by the way. Hanging out with Matthew who is there visiting Aurora Lynch, who lives in the forest. She’s sweet beyond words. Literally a dream girl. If she leaves Cabeswater, she’ll fall back into a coma. Anyway, Noah and Matthew sit in the car to keep time. Because time moves strangely in Cabeswater.

They enter the cave and tie themselves together on a safety line. Ronan in the back, then Blue, then Adam, all led by our fearless leader, Gansey. Gansey orders Ronan to sing a song, so they can mark time (all of their watches have stopped) — He whistles Irish tunes as they walk. He starts by singing the Murder Squash song, which everyone yells at him about.

Things are going great until Gansey vanishes. Adam is yanked to the ground and manages to hold himself. Ronan grabs Blue tightly. Gansey fell down a FUCKING cave hole and for several terrifying moments, he’s not replying to them. With Adam as a counterweight (poor baby laying on the ground lol) Blue is able to peek over the hole and talk to Gansey — who is… UNDERSTANDABLY having a panic attack as he is free hanging over darkness. 

Again. We’re so used to confident, fearless-leader Gansey, it is fascinating to see him terrified. And this scene is terrifying. 

“There is something on my skin and it is reminding me of …” He trailed off. 

“Water,” Blue suggested. “Or mud. It’s everywhere.”

There was nothing but the sound of his breathing, jagged and afraid. 

Everybody realizes all at once that if they think of hornets, the magic is going to manifest as hornets. Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Then they hear the sound of wings. And thousands of moving things. Turns out it’s hundreds of RAVENS that swarm out of the cave to more ghostly chanting “Make way for the Raven King”. Gansey’s like… okay I’m done being in the pit. I’m coming up now. 

The next day, Adam tries to drive into a national forest to do Cabeswater business. It sends him visions and it’s up to him to figure out what they mean. Tarot cards help. He even lined his sink with tin foil and scryed about it! I love the thought of Adam doing psychic shit. Poor baby though… he’s kind of feeling lonely. He sorted out his anger and that’s doing much better. He even thinks of how scared Gansey sounded in the pit. Like too scared to even pull himself up at first. It reminds him of how he stayed with his abusive father. Fear does strange things to us.

Later, the gang (sans Noah) is crammed in the Camaro on their way to pick up Gansey’s British friend Mallory. They’re speculating as to how to explore that pit some more. Adam is passed out against the window from being magical and doing his 3 jobs probably. Ronan is looking out the window. So we get this ADORABLE SCENE FROM GANSEY AND BLUE.

In the rearview mirror, he caught Blue’s eyes by accident. Strangely enough, he saw his own thoughts reflected in her face: excitement and consternation. Casually, out of view of Ronan, making sure Adam was still sleeping, Gansey dangled his hand between the driver’s seat and the door. Palm up, fingers stretched back to Blue. This was not allowed. He knew it was not allowed, by rules he himself had set. He would not permit himself to play favorites between Adam and Ronan; he and Blue couldn’t play favorites in this way, either. She would not see the gesture, anyway. She would ignore it if she did. His heart hummed. Blue touched his fingertips. Just this — He pinched her fingers lightly, just for a moment, and then he withdrew his hand and put it back on the wheel. His chest felt warm. This was not allowed.

Oh god oh god they like each other so much. He’s supposed to die. She can’t kiss him. Oh god.

They pick up Malory and his 30 suitcases and his dog that has anxiety and cram back in the car. Malory talks about this ancient Glendower tapestry he found under his BARN on a leyline in the UK. And he shows them a photo of it. It has 3 women with red hands on it, and they all have Blue’s face. The camera gets passed around the car and everyone agrees, that’s Blue.

Later that night Blue is ambling about the house. She talks to Persephone about how much she misses her Mom and the consensus is “Maura knows what she’s doing. If she wanted help, she’d ask for it.” — In a funk, Blue calls Gansey. Just to hear his voice. They do that a lot. They have a super brief exchange, a little joke, where she says she dialed the wrong number. And she says she might do it again. He says she shouldn’t, but he hopes she does. 

Adam and Gansey take Malory out to see the leyline. Not Cabeswater, but around the mountains of Virginia trying to find another way into that cave. Adam and Gansey have a sweet moment were Adam tells him “I’m glad we’re not fighting any more.” And Gansey tries not to overdo it with how relieved and happy he is. Then Adam goes on to say “Also, sorry about the whole Blue thing. I realize now how crazy I was to try to date her now that she’s one of us. I mean that would be weird right? Like what was I thinking?” And Gansey’s like “HAHA YEAH HAH WEIRD YEP.”

Blue is in school getting ready to talk to the guidance counselor when Noah shows up! I love this line. He’s so cute.

“I think I miss this part,” he said. “The beginning. This is the beginning, right?” 

“First day,” Blue replied. 

“Oh, yeah.” Noah leaned back and inhaled. “Oh, wait, no, it’s the other one. I forgot. I actually hate this part.”

Well the meeting goes poorly and not just because the guidance counselor is a condescending bitch who basically tells Blue she’s not going to be able to afford getting into any good schools. Things go south when Noah becomes a ghost tornado, throws paper everywhere, then dissapears. 

Blue immediately goes to the factory to look for him, but he’s not there. She peeks in Ronan’s room and sees that freaky mask from the last book. The one Calla said to destroy. It has tire tracks on it. That’s when Gansey and Malory get home. Gansey is so happy to see her there, it’s silly. She accompanies him into the kitchen slash bathroom slash laundry room and they have a sweet moment where she’s trying to act okay when she’s not, and Gansey says “We’ll find her.” And they stand really, heartbreakingly close to one another. 

When they come back into the main room, Malory is like “One of your friends is hiding under the pool table.” (Cool that he can see Noah!) and Blue and Gansey try to talk him into coming out. But he’s crying and REALLY upset. Says he’s just tired of decaying and insists they have no idea how this feels. He starts up another ghost tornado, pulling so much energy off Blue she’s feeling lightheaded. But her mom trained her for moments like this. She knows how to visualize her energy and cut it off. So she pulls the plug on Noah’s energy source before he can hurt her or destroy more things. He’s super sad poor baby and just fades away after that. And Blue feels a little fuzzy when Gansey tells her that was impressive.

That night, a well-dressed douchebag comes to the psychic house. Things are going normally until he shuffles the cards, and pulls a three of swords out of it (the heartbreak card) and is like “So ladies, how do I make this happen?” And you don’t fuck with the cards, so there’s instantly something threatening about him. He asks where the third lady is. The one that looks like Blue. And they’re just like GET OUT. So he STEALS Calla’s three of swords card and leaves. DUDE.

Oh god oh god oh god it’s the first day of school at Aglionby, and despite some truly adorable bits with the 3 boys getting along and Adam thanking his lucky stars that everything is okay between himself and his friends… Maggie drops this bomb on us. Their new Latin teacher is fucking Colin Greenmantle… Mr. Gray’s boss from the last book! AHHHHH!! Nooooo!!! Why are all the Latin teachers evil?? This is like the Defense Against the Dark Arts teaching position in Harry Potter nooooo!!

In the next chapter, we get to know Colin Greenmantle and he’s pretty much awful. So is his wife. They’re renting a farmhouse and while they’re definitely funny and entertaining, they just objectively seem like AWFUL PEOPLE. They’re magical artifact dealers. And have a personal vendetta against Nial Lynch and Colin says he can’t wait to fail Ronan in his class. He kind of reminds me of a man child.

Gansey and Ronan go over to Blue’s house and find the Gray Man play fighting with Calla, or teaching her how to break someone’s wrist. They tell him that their Latin teacher is Greenmantle, and Gray is like… well shit. Okay you kids don’t do anything, I’ll handle it. He tries to warn Ronan that if he does anything stupid, Greenmantle will do something horrific like take one of his brothers’ arms or something. Ronan just storms out. Gansey is sad because his friend is sad, so Blue gives him the fruit at the bottom of her yogurt. That helps a little. 

When Adam gets home from work late, Gansey shows up in his pajamas and an overcoat. He’s there with some kind of excuse about homework, but really he just wanted to chat. Adam realizes something about Gansey is off. He hasn’t really been the same since that moment in the pit. His confidence has faltered. Adam always thought he wanted Gansey to “get a taste of the real world” and experience how scary and unfair it is, but now he’s not so sure. He likes him the way he is. And does what he can to cheer him up in his Adam way. I love this line:

Adam couldn’t remember how they had managed to fight so continuously over the summer. Gansey, his best friend, his stupid and kind and marvelous best friend.

Gansey mentions that when they find Glendower, he wants to wish to bring Noah back to life. Then he heads out. We learn that Adam is hiding a letter with a court date for his father on the shelf. He doesn’t want to tell anyone about it. OH BABYYY!!

Blue gets into a fight with Orla when her cousin basically says “You need to make some actual friends at your actual school and quit hanging out with these rich idiots who are just going to leave you for the Ivy Leagues in a year. Also it’s weird how much you all love each other.” And Blue says “Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you Hey Gansey.” And they drive off together with Malory and his dog. They knock on the doors of local hillbillies, one of whom, Jesse Dittley, shows them the cave in his back yard that might be connected to the Cabeswater cave. Only he says it’s cursed, so they can never ever explore it. Now they have to decide if they’re going to persuade Jesse or trespass. 

The Gray Man shows up to Greenmantle’s farm house and points a gun at his wife’s head and the guy doesn’t even give a shit. He just eats cheese crackers while he threatens him. Piper (his wife) doesn’t care either. Greenmantle says he’s going to ruin Gray’s life if he doesn’t turn over the Greywaren in 9 days, and Gray said he’ll consider this and just leaves. I’m like COME ON GRAY. Just SHOOT THESE PRICKS like you SHOT YOUR BROTHER. But then we wouldn’t have a book and I do suppose I want to see what random way this book’s villain ends up dying in the end lol.

Adam is working alone at the mechanic shop at night during a thunderstorm when spooky stuff starts happening. At first he thinks it’s Noah, but he figures out pretty quickly that it’s Cabeswater trying to communicate. It doesn’t really know how else to communicate other then fucking scaring the DAYLIGHTS out of him and warping the scenery and showing him dead people. He scrambles to the tarot cards, flips 3 over, and focuses until he figures out what Cabeswater wants. It’s just a crack that needs to be repaired in the leyline. He’s just gotta move some rocks around somewhere. He says cool, I’ll take care of it this week and the room stops warping into nightmare world. Adam is relieved, but jittery, and it certainly doesn’t help when the fucking albino night horror monster shows up, next. 

Adam is crumpled on the ground when Ronan steps in like “Shoo. Go on, get.” — They exchange some sassy words. Ronan thinks school is lame and Adam tells him to go do his homework. Adam is making very conscious efforts not to fight with Gansey or Blue ever again, but he has a comfortable enough relationship with Ronan to know they will still have many fights. Ronan leaves in a huff. But when Adam gets in his car after work, there’s a jar of DREAM LOTION for his chapped hands that have been driving him crazy in his car. “Manibus” it says (Latin?) “For your hands”

AWWWWWWW YOU GUUYYYSSS!!! I think Ronan has a huge crush on Adam’s hands.

Gansey and Malory have a discussion about Glendower and the 3 people sleeping underground and blah blah blah. Okay then Noah shows up hahaha. They have a super cute exchange over this little metallic snowman Noah found in Ronan’s room. And then Gansey tells Noah he’d like to ask Glendower to give him life. Noah is touched by this, but doesn’t seem to believe it’s possible. The whole time they’re talking, Gansey is touching his ear because he thinks he feels hornets there. Noah stops him and blows cold air on his ears, saying “It’s okay. You’re safe. There’s nothing there.”

Because it was Noah and no one else, Gansey could admit, “I don’t know what I’ll do if I find him, Noah. I don’t know what I’ll be if I’m not looking for him. I don’t know the first thing about how to be that person again.” Noah put the clay in Gansey’s hands. 

“That’s exactly how I feel about the idea of being alive again.”

That’s the end of the chapter. AUGH I love these KIDS!! I love how much they love each other! They don’t behave like realistic teenagers AT ALL. They’re too emotionally mature and kind and intelligent hahaha But I love it all the same!!!

Also? I can’t reiterate enough how obvious it is that Gansey’s near-death experience obviously shook him. He’s been obsessed with Glendower ever since then, puzzled by the nagging feeling of “why me? Why was I saved?” — and he literally doesn’t remember who he was before this obsession. Beautiful character building.

Blue gets into a fight with Calla because she’s in an awful mood and misses her Mom so much it’s driving her nuts. Calla reveals that she misses Maura too, but their powers don’t work where Cabeswater is concerned. They can’t see events happening in it for some reason. Blue finds the list of names she made on St. Mark’s Day and takes it outside. She thought that hillbilly sounded familiar. And sure enough, his name is on the list. The Gray man is out there having a beer and I love that he’s like…part of the family now. They have the sweetest conversation and he sees Gansey’s name on the list. He tells her fate could change. Fate is a promise and promises can be broken. And he has a decision to make before Sunday. 

Gansey is laying in bed at night with his phone on his chest, waiting for Blue to call. Hoping she’ll call. (She doesn’t have a cell so he has to hope she’ll creep down to the reading room and also have insomnia like he does). Just as he’s chastising himself for wanting her to call him, she DOES. And they have a severely stupid conversation about ducks lol. But hearing her voice puts him in such a good mood. They hang up and then Ronan bursts in on him in the kitchen/bathroom/laundry room. There’s a cute moment where he tricks Gansey into listening to the murder squash song on his headphones, and after they laugh about that, he’s finally able to feel happy and go to sleep.

The next day at school, a classmate named Henry Cheng asks Gansey to sign his petition to hold an election for student council. Henry seems really sweet and like a good guy. So it sucks that Ronan is mean to him! Bad Ronan! He’s just crazy jealous. Like Orla said, it’s weird how much these kids platonically love each other.

Alright so Gansey is speaking with the principal about something we don’t know yet… so Ronan takes Adam out to the Barns. He shows him what he’s been working on… Which is trying to dream up an object that wakes up the comatose things his father dreamed. He shows Adam his “workshop”, which used to be Nial’s “workshop”, which is really just a dusty tack room with a chair and a blanket in it. Ronan shows Adam a few objects he’s made. One is this weird mirror, shifty, strange thing that Adam can’t look at for more than a second. When he holds it up to a cow, it’s ears twitch but it doesn’t wake up. 

Ronan reveals that the reason he’s so desperate to make an object like this… is because he realized that HE DREAMED MATTHEW. ON ACCIDENT. When he was a child. Declan told him. So he’s terrified that if/when he dies, Matthew will be comatose, and he doesn’t want that. 

This chapter is also RIFE with Ronan/Adam flirting!

As they moved through the old barn, Adam felt Ronan’s eyes glance off him and away, his disinterest practiced but incomplete. Adam wondered if anyone else noticed. Part of him wished they did and immediately felt bad, because it was vanity, really: See, Adam Parrish is wantable, worthy of a crush, not just by anyone, someone like Ronan, who could want Gansey or anyone else and chose Adam for his hungry eyes.

And when looking at the beautiful pictures in the tack room (contrasting Adam’s father’s office, which was all trucks and pin-up girls):

It was so different from what Adam’s father had pinned to his workspace walls that again Adam considered Ronan’s admiration of him. Someone like him treating someone like Adam as someone worthy —

When Adam asks why he keeps driving all the way out here to dream, Ronan answers that sometimes he dreams of wasps. So he can’t try this at Monmouth. Also, he says, he’s dreamt a punch of epipens and hidden them all over the factory and school. WHICH I TOTALLY CAUGHT. There was a line in the previous book when those thugs are going through the drawers, and an epipen spills out. But I’m pretty sure when we first meet Gansey in book 1, it says that his one and only epipen is in the glove box of the Pig. Anyway, I think it’s sweet that Ronan is scattering them all over the place. Gansey’s allergy is so bad, epipens might not even help, but it’s sweet that he wants to try.

Adam asks why he showed him all this. Ronan replies: “I hear if you want magic done, you ask a magician.”

That night, Blue calls and asks Gansey to tell her a story about the leyline. He does. Then afterwards, he feels all floaty again after getting to hear her voice before bed. 

There was nothing inherently guilty about the moment except that Gansey burned with guilt and thrill and desire and the nebulous feeling of being truly known. It was on the inside of him, and the inside was all Noah ever really paid attention to. The other boy wore a knowing expression. 

“Don’t tell the others,” Gansey said. 

“I’m dead,” Noah replied. “Not stupid.”

Meanwhile, Colin and Piper are like… the dumbest villains ever lol. And I don’t mean conceptually, I mean intellectually. Wow I hate these guys!! Good job Maggie! They’re just so shallow and callous with people’s lives and hurtful and SHALLOW. Piper has a little rat dog now. She reveals to Colin that she bought spelunking equipment because she thinks “Gray’s psychic bimbo” is down in the underground leyline caves. Thank goodness they don’t know where those caves are, right??? EEEHHHH NERVOUS.

Blue takes the car back out to Jesse Dittley’s house and Noah tags along. She strikes a deal with this hillbilly giant that if she cleans up his yard, he lets them explore his haunted cave. There’s a cute little montage of Blue (tiny but strong) getting the job done. Jesse says “Good ant” because she reminds him of an ant lol. 

 When her and Noah are planting the flowers, he starts acting weird. He starts chanting “Blue Lily, Lily Blue” and his eyes turn into black sunken craters and he’s being CREEPY AS FUCK and getting up right in her face. Jesse sees what’s happening and shoves a mirror in between them, which makes Noah shrink away and scream and then dissapear. Jesse makes her spaghettios and they talk about the nature of the haunted cave and how his family has almost been making like… sacrifices for generations? Like he knows one day he’ll go into that cave, and be killed by whatever is in there, then his son will have to come collect the bones. Like he did for his father. (UGH right??)

Well then Calla and Gansey burst into the house PISSED OFF because it’s been 6 hours since she took the car, she only has a learner’s permit, and she has no cell phone so no one knew where she was. When they get back to 300 Fox Way, EVERYONE is there (except Noah obvs). Ronan. Adam. The whole gangs there because they were out looking for Blue. Blue explains how she knows Jesse Dittley is going to die (tells them about the corpse road) and ADAM — our sweet, intuitive, intelligent, beautiful boy — catches on fucking immediately that one of their names is on that list. He knows she’s lying. ADAM IS SO FUCKING SMART. So he finds an excuse to pull her aside and is like “Which one of us is it?” And she is quiet at first, but eventually tells him, Gansey. And Adam is crushed. Then he’s like… well I fucking know what favor we’re asking Glendower for, then. 

Alright, Chapter 26 is a DOOZY.

Blue wakes up pissed off. Just pissed at how unfair and difficult everything is. So she calls Gansey and asks her to come get her. He seems kind of in a mood too. Not a bad one, just a real genuine… no more pithy little dialogue. Just raw and…REAL!

This wasn’t the Gansey she’d seen in the kitchen earlier; this was the Gansey she secretly called at night.

They drive around. Hands holding over the clutch. He teaches her how to drive the Camaro haha. THEN THIS HAPPENS:

She pulled over. She had thought it was such a simple thing to avoid kissing someone when she’d been with Adam. Her body had never known what to do. Now it knew. Her mouth didn’t care that it was cursed. She turned to Gansey. 

“Blue,” he warned, but his voice was chaotic. This close, his throat was scented with mint and wool sweater and vinyl car seat, and Gansey, just Gansey. 

She said, “I just want to pretend. I want to pretend that I could.” 

He breathed out. 

What was a kiss without a kiss? It was a tablecloth tugged from beneath a party service. Everything jumbled against everything else in just a few chaotic moments. Fingers in hair, hands cupping necks, mouths dragged on cheeks and chins in dangerous proximity. They stopped, noses mashed against each other in the strange way that closeness required. She could feel his breath in her mouth. 

“Maybe it wouldn’t hurt if I kiss you,” he whispered. “Maybe it’s only if you kiss me.” They both swallowed at the same time, and the spell was broken. 

They both laughed, again at the same time, shakily. “And then we never speak of it again,” Gansey said, mocking himself softly, and Blue was so glad of it, because she had played the words from that night over and over in her mind and wanted to know he had, too. Gently he tucked her hair behind her ears — this was a fool’s errand, because it had never been behind her ears to begin with and wouldn’t stay. But he did it again and again, and then he took out two mint leaves and put one in his mouth and one in hers.

WHEW!!! Fuckiiiin loved that. Well fuck it’s kind of short lived though. On their way home, they come across Henry Cheng whose car is broken down (at like 3am?? Dude.) so he asks to use Gansey’s phone. And his presence kind of breaks the spell of the night. Blue hates how Gansey’s voice changes when he talks to his Aglionby friends. She tells him this. I think she’s so wound up and hurt from wanting and not being able to have… and probably some dumb part of her 17 year old brain wants to spoil it for reasons other than the curse. 

Because she says some hurtful shit. Like “What was I thinking? You and I would never work. We’re from two different worlds.” Gansey is pretty wise though. He can tell there’s another component than this other than her dislike of how his voice changes when he talks to Henry.

“When are you going to tell me what this is really about?” This made her heave a great shuddered breath that was close to tears. “Never.”

AW BABIES!!

Okay so, I read the next chapter last night? And literally had to put the book down. I was like NOPE! TOO SPOOKY! Too late. Too dark. Too scared. This is what happens:

It’s the day the gang goes to explore Dittley’s cursed cave. It’s raining. Gansey feels off. Just like one of those days where nothing goes right. The mood is sour. His favorite sweater is dirty, so he has to wear one he doesn’t like. YOU KNOW. He’s also like… not ready to find Glendower. He’s like the dog that chases the car and doesn’t know what to do once he’s caught it.

But weird shit starts happening as soon as they enter the cave. Adam is like “shut up Ronan, cut it out. Quit singing.” And everyone says “Ummm Adam? No one is singing.” Then CHAINSAW THE BIRD opens her little beak like a record payer and stars “singing” haunting music about “all hail the Raven king. Here he comes lalalala” and then she flies off into the cave. Ronan is like…. “NO MY BABY!” And wants to go chase after her solo but everyone is like hell to the no, Rone this cave is fucking with us. Gansey asks Adam what he thinks, and when Adam touches the cave wall, his EYES TURN BLACK. I think this is something that’s been happening for a while when he does psychic stuff. He thinks they should keep going and the cave is just trying to scare them as a defense mechanism. 

So they keep going until they find like… basically a tomb. Decorated with statues and carvings and raven stuff and it’s like… this is it. This is the tomb of Glendower. They found it and it was THAT EASY — which just totally unsettles Gansey. The whole time he’s thinking… this is nothing like the vision I had in the spirit tree (because he literally saw that moment and this space looks different. The energy is off). They find a tomb with a big heavy lid/statue on it….

They found Chainsaw by the way and she’s fine lol

And here’s where I was like…nope. Too scary. They open the tomb, and it’s not Glendower. It’s a woman with her wrists and ankles bound, laying FACE DOWN, and when they open the impossibly heavy lid, and it falls loudly, HER HEAD SNAPS ALL THE WAY AROUND TO FACE THEM and she crawls out of the box. The way she’s described, she sounds like “The Ring” girl lol all long black stringy hair. And she’s singing the weird Blue Lily, Lily Blue song and laughing. Gansey flips from nervous and uncertain to calm, collected badass in a second. This lady is in her 20’s and is coo coo bananas. Keeps flirting with all the boys. Singing nonsense. They decide they can’t just leave her in the cave, so they take her out OH FUCK GUYS! REALLY???

I have such a bad feeling about this. The psychics said there were 3 sleepers and only 2 should be woken up. The other one they said ABSOLUTELY NOT TO WAKE.

Well they get outside and it’s raining blood and windy, and the sun is out, and there’s a, um… COMET IN THE SKY?? Gansey says that in the texts, there’s mention of a comet on the day Glendower was buried. The lady says she doesn’t like Adam. She calls him a mongrel (which actually really hurts his feelings). And Gansey sets her straight like “Hey we’ve been nothing but nice to you. His name is Adam Parrish and you will address him as such” and she’s like “YES MY LORD”. Turns out she wasn’t even asleep. This witch was buried and has been lying face down for hundreds of years. They take her to Jesse and she admits to haunting his family and killing his ancestors and is like “SORRYYYYY” and then they stuff her in the suburban. Blue has a cute moment with Jesse and says “We broke the curse, so now you can live happily with you family. Please don’t die” and he’s like “GOOD ANT.”

They take her to 300 Fox Way. 

Calla: “Do you remember how I said that there were three sleepers, and Maura’s job was to not wake one of them, and your job was to wake one of the others? Remember how I didn’t say anything about the other one? I did not mean bring her to my kitchen.”

Okay well at least she’s not the BAD sleeper. I was so afraid of this witch lady at first and now I’m calming down. She’s kind of more silly than anything. She says her name is Sorrow but she speaks in poems so I don’t know how true that is. Calla tells Adam and Ronan to go get supplies for her.

Adam and Ronan exchanged a wide-eyed look. Adam’s look said, What does that mean? and Ronan’s said, I don’t care; let’s get out of here before she changes her mind. Gansey frowned after them as they scrambled to the front door.

Fucking love them. Lol I love the imagery of these two SCRAMBLING for the door. I’d be like yeah let’s get away from the lady that can possess ghosts and birds please. Alright so crazy lady says that Artemis is the one who tied her up!! As punishment? When they untie her hands, she spins around and tells Gansey her name is actually Gwenllian. And he’s stunned, because that’s the name of Glendower’s daughter.

Chapter 29 is Adam and Ronan shopping for Gwenllian (wow that’s a pretty name) and I am here for it. “I don’t even know what to get, a kennel?” — Ronan. This whole scene is really adorable. Watching them throw toothbrushes and shampoo and shit in the cart. Like we all know the guys are friends. But I don’t think we’ve seen so many scenes with Ronan and Adam casually hanging out up until now. They see Colin Greenmantle’s wife with a shopping cart full of gardening stuff that looks dangerous. But they decide to drop it and leave the store.

There’s a random scene in the parking lot where Ronan is like GET IN THE CART PARRISH. And they behave like teenaged boys for a minute and ride/slam the cart Jackass style into Ronan’s BMW. This is so cute and spontaneous, I can understand why I’ve seen so much fan art of it lol. Ronan asks Adam to tell him what he’s researched about Greenmantle so he can get to dreaming about it.

Blue has a sweet conversation with Malory where he reveals his therapy Dog is for anxiety. But he doesn’t really have anxiety. He can sense auras. And when he’s around big crowds, it gets overwhelming. He says that Blue has a BLUE aura… the color of psychics. He also tells her about when he first met Gansey, this young squirrelly teenager who blew in one day then left the next without explanation. He tells her about how he kind of still had some PTSD back then… he’d collapse and claw at his face like hornets were there. I mean poor baby had this wild experience of DYING horrifically, then having a ghost…voice…revive him and tell him about Glendower. Or was it Glendower’s voice?? It’s not specified. They talk about Gwenllian being an illegitimate child of Glendower’s and how she might have been buried in a “shill” grave. Like a fake one to throw off grave robbers.

Okay so um, this next chapter. Fuck. Ronan and Adam are hanging out in the St. Agnes church. It’s night time. No one is there. Ronan takes Adam up to the choir pews where the organ is and a statue of Mary with little candles all around her. It’s very romantic, and they behave accordingly, sneaking glances at each other. Catching each other staring. It’s all very sweet. 

So they get to talking about what to do about Greenmantle. And Adam has this plan…. But it’s a nasty plan. The problem is they need to frame this guy for a murder he actually did commit (hiring a hit man to kill Nial Lynch), but doing that is going to be really hard. So Adam has an idea to frame him for a different type of crime. One that is taken VERY SERIOUSLY and is easier to put people away for. Maggie doesn’t go into details here, but I think it has something to do with…. Illegal… children stuff….. Ronan is VERY NOT OKAY WITH THIS. Because he’s the one that has to dream up the “evidence” to plant on this guy. But he understands why it needs to be done. 

He tells Adam “fuck it. I’ll do it now. Leave and I’ll make your stuff.” And Adam is like “I don’t wanna leave. Also brb I gotta go scry/separate my soul from my body for second to talk to my forest and ask Cabeswater to show you what kind of phone Greenmantle has, so you can dream up a copy.” - the fact that Adam can do this, that he knows how to ASTRAL PROJECT by staring at a flickering candle flame, is so cool. I love that he’s magic now. 

Well when Adam comes back from his conversation with the forest, he finds himself staring at a badly beaten, carved up, dying in pain…Ronan. AUGH the description of it is so gruesome. Adam is horrified, and moves to help, but is interrupted by the REAL Ronan perched up on the pew. He explains that he tried to warn Adam. Sometimes his bad dreams come back with him. He didn’t want him to see stuff like this. (I think Adam is white as a ghost at this point) — Like, HOW MANY TIMES HAS RONAN BURIED HIMSELF? How many times has this HAPPENED? He had to dream a double of himself for the monsters to kill, otherwise he would have brought them out with him in the real world. Ronan is pissed at Adam for making him dream this depraved shit… and seeing what I’m sure is something really private (his dream…deaths..) and they say nasty words after Ronan demands Adam leave.

Back in his apartment, Adam takes a long shower. He’s going through a lot… So it doesn’t help AT ALL when his fucking FATHER shows up at his door and pushes his way in. To Adam’s credit, he doesn’t rise to any of the bait that is being put out there. His father is saying this whole court thing is ridiculous and there’s no way he’ll win. He knows the judge. Adam is just crying for attention. Etc. Etc. Adam like… retreats into himself and can feel and smell Cabeswater and the branches growing protectively around him. His body is in that room, but his spirit is somewhere else. When his dad tries to touch him, he gets pricked, and has a thorn sticking out of his hand. Then he leaves. (So cool)

Adam stood there for a long moment. He wiped the heel of his hand over his right eye and cheek, then dried it on his slacks.

AUGH this poor KID!! Fresh off this traumatic event of watching his friend get brutally murdered… he’s got a magic forest talking to him in his head… and now this douche canoe of a father comes and starts shit. Like WOW why can’t Adam have nice things??

So Colin and Piper are in the cave and you want to hate them, but then they do really funny things. Like Piper is such a dingbat. She brought her dog and is picking up poop in a baggie. You almost, ALMOST like them and then Colin says shit like this: “What I’m going to do is hire a billion million minions to come look in caves for this woman, and if that doesn’t work, I’ll just eviscerate her daughter in front of the Gray Man instead.” - AUGH. FUCK YOU DUDE. Piper stops because she hears something, but we never get confirmation as to what. Colin randomly thinks about people sleeping and wanting to wake up one of them (??Cave, what are you doing??). Then they decide to leave. 

Blue sure wishes her mom would come home. Gwenllian is hella weird and exhausting to be around. But she’s getting more likable too. She’s like the house crazy lady now. Stealing everyone’s clothes, talking to trees, and storing things in her hair lol. Gansey keeps showing up to try to get info out of her, but she’s hard to wrangle. Lately everyone has been busy. Adam and Ronan keep running off to do their thing. Noah hasn’t shown up since he freaked out at Jesse’s house. And Gansey has some mysterious after-school commitment he keeps running off to. 

Gray comes over and Gwen is pulling a vacuum around the house like a dog lol She tells him her sad story of hearing about her Dad’s advisor trying to incite war. So she tried to stab him at dinner. She was sentenced to being buried alive after that. Gray tells Blue that Adam and Ronan HIRED him to help with this Greenmantle framing thing. He won’t tell her details but asks about her haunted cave and if she thought it might be a good place to hide bodies. Then he asks her to show him, so she’s like okay!

Sometimes this book just… makes you forget what you’re reading about lol. Blue tells her aunts the hitman is taking her out, so they go on their adventure. 

I love that Jesse and Blue are friends, and I love that he calls her Ant because she reminds him of these tough African ants he saw in a documentary once. Blue and Gray ask to see the cave, and Jesse is like “Sure but I gotta warn you, weird shits been happening lately” and he shows them. And basically these like… MONSTERS are coming out of the cave. Gray shoots one and it has like…3 heads? Blue thought they broke the curse by taking Gwen out of the cave, but Jesse thinks she was holding these monsters back. So. Now that’s a thing. 

ALSO WHAT HAPPENED TO THE COMET AND THE RAINING BLOOD? Did that go away? I suppose so since society isn’t falling apart??

That night, Gwen comes to Blue’s room with a spoonful of mayo lol. I like her random objects. Gwen, in unhinged sing-song, explains that she and Blue are similar. Blue would call herself a battery. Gwen calls them mirrors. Gwen also says— “YOU’RE A WITCH, HARRY!” And Blue is a little excited at the thought of finally having a name, even if it is witch. Gwen shoves Blue to stand between Neeve’s two mirrors, and when’s he looks to her left and right, her reflection vanishes. But she’s still there in the room. So that’s weird. Gwen eats her mayonnaise. I’m sure those mirrors will mean something later!!

Also I’ve decided I love Gray. He’s on the list with the boys, and Blue, and Maura — the list of people I will be heartbroken over if they die. Gansey is at the top.

Colin notices that his wife is acting super weird. She always stares at herself in the mirror, but when he calls her name she doesn’t respond. She’s staring off into space and then kicks him out of the bathroom.

In Chapter 37, Gansey is relishing moments of high school monotony. The happiness of walking in between Ronan and Adam. Watching the crowd part for them. Dew on the grass. Coffee in the air. Normal teenager shit. They run into Henry who is still on his very passionate quest to convince the administration to instate a student council. Gansey goes to get Henry coffee in the teacher’s lounge, which is adorable that he can just WALK in there and take stuff. Then he hears someone shout Adam’s name, followed by a LOUD NOISE.

Gansey spills back into the courtyard to see that some construction workers dropped a bunch of concrete panels, and it’s broken into pieces — fine shards — all over the courtyard. Ronan and Henry are COVERED in dust. Adam is standing eerily in the center of it, perfectly calm, protected by a bubble of air. Like he’s untouched. The grass around him is completely clean. WE LOVE OUR MAGIC BOY!!! Everyone is taking pictures like “omg Adam you’re so lucky!” I love this exchange:

Gansey leaned and Adam pulled him in even closer, gripping his shoulder tightly. Right into Gansey’s ear, he whispered, voice tinged in disbelief, “I didn’t — I just asked — I just thought —” 

“Thought what?” Gansey asked. 

Adam released him. His eyes were on the circle around him. “I thought that. And it happened.” The circle was absolutely perfect: dust without, dustless within. 

“You marvelous creature,” Gansey said.

Thank you for saying what we were all thinking Gans!

Okay so the next day is the court case. Adam is, understandably, a ball of nerves standing in the courtroom. Cabeswater is there with him in spirit. He can feel leaves wrapping around his body that aren’t really there. Adam is really regretting being there alone, now. He misses his friends. He wished he could get over his pride and let them in. THEN GANSEY AND RONAN SHOW UP. Ronan even tucked his shirt in and did his tie correctly. And Gansey strides up to the judge and shakes his hand because he KNOWS THE GUY and asks to be character witnesses. So the Judge is like “I’ll allow this!” — YOU ARE SO FUCKED ROBERT PARRISH. YOU’RE SO FUCKED!!

Adam has this amazing growth moment of realizing Gansey has always seen him as an equal. It was never a charity case. It was just friendship. Like real love for his friends.

Smash cut to a few days later. I guess we don’t get to find out what happened in court yet! But Adam asks Blue if she wants to come along on Cabeswater business. He’s sitting in a gas station wondering if the pulse in his veins is blood or the leyline and Noah shows up and is like “Yeah I wonder the same thing.” — Adam is like….ummmm did you just reply to my thoughts? Noah’s like I dunno.

OMG can we appreciate this scene, where they turn on the radio and the murder squash song comes on… and Adam panicky and ejects the tape. Blue is like HOW? HOW did that make it off the internet??

Noah cackled and showed them the cassette. It boasted a handmade label marked with Ronan’s handwriting: PARRISH’S HONDAYOTA ALONE TIME. The other side was A SHITBOX SING-ALONG.

Ronan dreamed him a mix tape. So fucking cute. 

They get to the forest and a tarot card tells Adam where to head: 3 boulders making something of a natural gazebo. There he scries, and says he’s never done this in front of people before, so he doesn’t know what he looks like. He thinks it’s not happening at first, but realizes pretty quickly that when he talks to Blue, she’s not responding. And his spirit is outside his body. He figures out that some rocks need to be rearranged on the mountain to help the leyline. Cabeswater asks for the Greywarren and Adam is like nah, he’s not here, just me lol. He figures out that there is more than one Cabeswater and he doesn’t know how awake the others are or if they’re connected somehow. I guess there’s a network of magical forests on the leyline. He drifts and drifts and finds himself in a cave with a spooky red door and a woman who seems familiar, but he’s so in spirit-mode he can’t remember her. A man is with her. They tell him to GO. I think this is Maura and Artemis. But we don’t know. 

Anyway there’s a spooky red door that is eerily enchanting. It’s equal parts terrifying and makes you want to open it like you’ve never wanted anything else in your life… but you’re also afraid. Adam gets sucked into this feeling and almost opens the door when Blue and Noah cut his hand and he gets thrown back into his body. They said he just went blank, and quit blinking, then he quit breathing, so they panicked lol. GOOD FRIENDS.

They move some rocks. The leyline is so happy, Noah is able to look SOLID and human. Not even a smudge. This cute thing happens:

They staggered back toward the trail. Blue’s arm was linked around the back of Noah, and her fingers grabbed Adam’s T-shirt so that they were one creature, a drunken six-legged animal.

Suddenly Adam remembers it was Maura he saw in the cave, and he tells Blue. DUN DUN DUNNN!!

Okay but seriously though, what about the comet and what about the court case MAGGIE??

Persephone calls Adam to have a one last psychic training session, and its at a general store on some rocking chairs. Adam is trying to get some information out of her. Like is Maura alive? How do I save Gansey’s life? But Persephone is all dreamy and just wants to talk about the number 3. And how significant that number is. Then, she vanishes, and Adam asks the clerk if he came here alone or not. And she says he’s just been talking to himself this whole time. 

Oh my god Chapter 41 is NUTS. Blue races home to find Adam and Calla getting ready to do some scrying in the reading room because Persephone is missing. Adam, who doesn’t trust anyone, tells Blue “I’m trusting you” — and Blue and Calla hold his hands. Blue is going to amplify his power and Calla is going to keep an eye on the thread to make sure he doesn’t get lost. If your soul strays too far from your body, you die. Adam’s eyes go completely black. And for a moment, he speaks WITH Persephone’s voice calling out for Maura. But then his voice comes back, calling for Persephone. Calla is finally like “alright, pull the cord” and Blue has to let go of him and sever her energy so he’ll wake up. 

“Cut him off,” Calla snarled. “I know you can. I’ll pull him back!” 

As Calla used her free hand to press a thumb to the center of Adam’s forehead, Blue frantically imagined what she had done to pull the plug on Noah back in Monmouth. Only it had been one thing to do it while Noah threw things about. It was another thing to do it as she watched Adam’s still chest and his empty eyes. Another thing as his shoulders sagged and his face fell into Calla’s waiting hands.

She tried to visualize the white light pouring down to strengthen them, but it was hard when she could see Adam’s body sprawled limply across the end of the reading table. Calla slapped his face. “Come on, you bastard! Remember your body!”

It takes a minute. But when he comes to, he says Persephone is in the house. Around some mirrors? So they race upstairs and they find Persephone between the two mirrors and she is DEAD!! WTFFFF!!!

Gansey and Ronan arrive late because Gansey’s phone was off and Ronan never answers his. Gansey leaves Adam with Ronan on the porch (after saying some very sweet things to the effect of “It’s not your fault, Parrish”) — and goes inside. Calla is SO UPSET. He says he’s going into that cave and he’s going to get Maura back. Calla is like NEAT I’m coming too. He leaves the psychics in the kitchen and goes upstairs to find Blue sitting on the floor by Perseophone’s bed. And we get this adorable scene:

It was against the rules, but Gansey crouched down beside her, one of his knees against her back, one against her knees, and hugged her. She curled against him, hands balled up against his chest. He felt a hot tear slip into the dip of his collarbone. He closed his eyes against the sun through the window, burning hot in his sweater, foot falling asleep, elbow grinding into the metal bed frame, Blue Sargent pressed up against him, and he didn’t move. Help, he thought. He remembered Gwenllian saying that it was starting, and he could feel it, winding out faster and faster, a ball of thread caught in the wind. Starting, starting — He could not tell who was comforting whom.

“I’m part of the useless new generation,” Blue said finally, the words right on his skin. Desire and dread lay right next to each other in his heart, each sharpening the other.

Maggie just… wtf. Beautiful.

Gwen kind of spins into the scene and speaks in songs and riddles. Says something about how Artemis taught her how to borrow people’s eyes. That’s how she spent the last 600 years. She says some riddle about a tree at night and Gansey asks Gwen to come with them to the cave.

Earlier that day or later… I can’t tell:

Adam and Ronan stand badassily in Colin Greenmantle’s field until he notices. They come out there and exchange some threatening words like “I know what you are” to each other, and Adam produces a Manila folder. 

Oh fuck is THIS how it goes down? Is THIS the plan, boys? I thought they were going to anonymously give it to the police or something. This is ballsy, but I have a bad feeling about this. Okay well they tell him that if he’s not out of town by Friday, everything in this folder comes true. Colin is especially unnerved by Adam, who has the same regal, far-off look as Piper who has been staring at the mirrors in a trance all day. The folder contains a CHILD’S SEVERED HAND in a baggie, and tons of emails, photos, texts, etc painting him as a murderer and pervert. Holy shit, game on. 

Colin…to my complete surprise…looks at the folder and is like HAHAHA YEP. Fuck this. Fuck all this. Clearly those boys have the Greywarren and know how to use it and IIIIIII no longer care. Honey! Get your coat. Pack your bags, we’re leaving town.

But Piper says NO. I hired two thugs and we’re driving out to the boonies to enter a cave, because I’m having visions about doors, they’re calling me, and we’re fucking going in the cave. Colin comes along, hoping he can convince her to stop it on the way, but they end up running into Jesse Dittley guarding the cave and she fucking SHOOTS HIM. Gray shows up and tries to stop them, but Piper is in full on badass mode and takes him hostage. Colin and Piper get in a fight, and then she tells him to just leave. Go run off like a coward. AND HE FUCKING DOES JUST THAT.

Alright, so the Gansey gang also enters the cave on the Cabeswater side. Calla stays in the car to keep time with Matthew after Blue begs her. Adam is at the front of the line with Ronan behind him, because they figure Cabeswater is more keen to protect the two of them. Ronan also brought his ghost light, one of his dream objects. Gwen is singing her crazy songs. They find THE PIT and Adam and Ronan opt to go in and check it out first. They’re like… full on besties now. Ronan even squeezes Adam’s arm when they’re looking down the pit as if to say “Don’t fall in”

When they get down there, they find some hornet nests (EEK!!) and between Adam’s magic and Ronan’s dream powers, they transform them into birds. I did not know this was something they could do. But NEAT!! They’re Gansey’s magicians. I think it’s the same Cabeswater magic that manifests your thoughts. 

Okay so then they go get the gang and bring them down there, and they find a massive room occupied by hundreds of animal bones - just standing on the ground, fully in tact and suspended upright. Some of them are from animals that are extinct or thought to not exist, like UNICORNS and primordial beasts no one has ever heard of. Gwen says some shit like “If you cannot wake these beasts, then how do you expect to wake my father?” — and Adam hatches a plan to pull his leyline magic toward Ronan, who has his weird dream object no one can look at, and Blue can amplify, and Gansey can point the rocks accordingly. They almost pull it off, but it’s not working. Then Gansey says, with authority, “Wake up” and the skeletons become real animals. YES. I think Gansey’s magic is… commanding things. He is the group leader, after all. 

The animals start stampeding toward the exit. Ronan and Blue manage to hop on the backs of some of them, and they hop out of the room before Gansey, Adam, or Gwen can follow.

Ronan and Blue adventure! LET’S GO!! They’re in a room with a cave lake that doesn’t make any ripples when you throw stuff into it. Ronan is so done. “Hey, I have an idea! Fuck magic. Fuck this.” — When Blue looks into the lake, she sees her mother’s dead body. Ronan pulls her back, saying it’s a trick. He saw his Dad, even though he’s buried in the ground. 

This is sweet. 

For a moment they remained that way, Ronan holding her as tightly as he would hold his brother Matthew, his cheek on her shoulder. Every time she thought she could go on, she saw the face of her mother’s corpse again. Finally, she pulled back, and Ronan stood up. He looked away, but not before she saw the tear he flicked from his chin. “Fuck this,” he said again.

Man, fuck this cave for showing these kids their dead parents. 

Blue remembers some nonsense Gwen said about mirror magic, and how people (witches?) with their particular ability had mirror powers. So Blue thinks she can walk across the shallow lake and be okay. But it’ll swallow Ronan if he goes in. So she has to go alone. He gives her his ghost light, which is super sweet because that means he has to sit there and wait there in the DARKNESS.

Holy shit. So Blue makes it across the river and finds a small chamber with the creepy red door. The door that holds the sleeper we are definitely NOT supposed to wake up. She finds ARTEMUS there, kneeling and looking worse for wear, then also MAURA BEHIND HIM!! She’s alive!! And she is not okay. Apparently they’ve been down there for a very long time, trying to resist the door. It’s so bad, they can’t move. Blue is okay. She hears the door tempting her, but she is a mirror, so it’s not as bad. She ties her parents’ hands and is determined to get them out of there. 

But then Piper shows up with one of her thugs and Mr. Gray in tow. They exchange words. Piper is truly awful and very stupid — going for the door that is probably promising her fame and money. There’s a scuffle, and for some reason the cave is COLLAPSING while everyone is fighting. I forget why it’s collapsing. Maybe from the stampede. It takes some effort, but Blue and her parents make it out safely, along with Mr. Gray. THANK GOODNESS. 

Okay… but what about THE GUYS?? MY BABIES?????

It jumps to a week later. Everyone made it out okay, yay! They gang is dropping Malory off at the airport. Adam picks at the scabs on his hand and thinks about what Persephone told him:

She had told him that there were three sleepers. One to wake, one to not wake. One in between. The others thought that Gwenllian was the one in between, but that didn’t really make sense, because she’d never been asleep. So he didn’t know if it was true or not, but he sort of liked to believe that the third sleeper had been him.

So that’s interesting. Maybe the third sleeper was Adam’s psychic ability. 

One is definitely Glendower. 

One is maybe Adam.

The third is some kind of bad no no we don’t want to wake up. 

Alright well in the epilogue, Piper wakes up in the cave. And NEEVE IS THERE. FUCKING NEEVE. And Neeve says “Hey, wanna get out of this cave? Help me wake them up.” And Piper is like “Fuck yeah!” And they OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR. FUCK!

And this?

The sleeper wasn’t human. Piper wasn’t sure why she’d expected it would be. Instead, it was small, and black, and shiny, with more legs than she’d expected. It was powerful. Neeve said, “We have to do it at the same time to get the fa —” Piper reached out and touched it before Neeve could move. “Wake up.”

And that’s the end of book 3!!! 

As always I’m finishing this book like “HAHA I LOVED IT! I THINK? What happened???” — like some of those parts felt rushed. I wanted to see the courtroom scene, but understand why that was cut. (Would have liked to hear the results of it, anyhow!). Still curious about the comet and raining blood lol. And the 3 headed monsters that were spilling out of the cave? What were Gansey and Adam doing while Ronan and Blue were trapped in the room with the mirror lake?? Is Artemis just like, out in the world now? Is it going to be weird with Mr. Gray there. 

Well all the same, I love this book. I love these characters and their severely strange and often scary adventures. I love the relationship emerging between Gansey and Blue. I love the relationship emerging between Adam and Ronan. I love Noah. He’s scary and adorable all in the same breath. They’ve got their group dynamic DOWN with the king, the mages, and the mirror. Everyone is starting to realize their powers, even Gansey, whose power is inspiring everyone and being POSITIVE. EXCELSIOR!

There’s one more book in this series and I’m not ready. AUGH. Here we go. 

Deadass Rating: 7.5/10

Unofficial theme song: “Cosmic Love” by Florence + the Machine