#thinking about this poem this morning
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Danez Smith, Recklessly
#this poem quite literally lives in my head#I think about it all the time#makes me insane#danez smith#poetry#poem#writings#excerpts#words#quotes#boyhood#don’t call us dead#queer poetry#when morning came & still I was recklessly a boy’s throat!#yes I was his if only once!#& I was everywhere! like a god or a virus I was everything required of me—
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btw
CHANGING STATES
Lately, something has taken hold / of me—not hunger, not shame. It is like a flower / blooming in the injury. —Richie Hofmann
On the evening Jeremiah decides he’ll drive thirty hours to Maryland, the other half of his mattress is cold and Madonna’s on the radio. In his bedroom, he taps his cigarette on the windowsill, the ash scattering into rainy blue hour, and listens. Time goes by so slowly, she goes, her voice singed through his boombox’s broken speakers. He’s meant to replace it, though he’s meant to do a lot of things: check the mail, make a quiche, buy lightbulbs, call his sister, take up cross-stitch, recycle an olive jar, move his bed to the opposite side of his room. But time goes by so slowly, and Jeremiah would know—he’s twenty-one, yet feels he’s been alive for much, much longer.
#i already shared this BUT I WAS TINKERING WITH THIS PROJECT TONIGHT#(this morning I had revelations to make this autofiction-y about going to a place and before getting there someone dies)#which is loosely based off 2022 me in maryland and this is 2005 jeremiah in maryland!!!!#ANYWAY TONIGHT I WROTE A PARAGRAPH ABOUT JEREMIAH IN LOVE WITH THE WEATHERMAN#but i was sick of not having a title (the document is legit 'jeremiah book' lol)#SO I THINK THIS IS FINE????#also it's not going to be a book it's probably going to be a short story!!! and it's like my apology to this poor man for inflicting#harrison upon him#my bad babe#i still need to fix this paragraph the phrasing is a little off!!! BUT he talked about madonna's new album in BB#AND HE'S LISTENING TO IT NOW!!!!#I'M A LIL UNWELL OVER THE CONTINUITY#also pls read that hofmann poem (linked!!!!!) I LOVE THAT COLLECTION SM I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT IT FOR FREEEEE#changingstates
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i swear if the art teacher doesn't fucking turn off radiohead
#tumblrs great bc my last original post before this was a crack l&co hc#krash poems#radiohead isnt why i wrote this btw#i just think its funny that while i am uploading this#videotape blasts in my ears like i didnt already consume depressing media making me think about myself this morning
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dream time
#have to get this down before i forget it#been having weird/not good dreams lately until last night (mere hours ago bc its still dark out this morning)#writing this on my way to work and in the dream i was on the bus to work. however an important difference between reality and the dream is#that in the dream i was sharing my bus ride w mr larroquette. as one does#this was like mouse bites era john im sorry thats the best way i can describe how he looked#and i guess it was like we kinda knew each other?? and we ended up talking about poetry writing and stuff#wish i could remember the specifics of that#at some point we got off the bus and got onto another one unfortunately a common theme in my dreams is going somewhere in a complicated way#and on that bus ride i sat next to him again and he was like oh i normally listen to music for this part of my trip#and i was like ope don't wanna keep you from that! but he didnt mind talking for a bit more and we talked abt music#bc apparently id recommended he listen to the album big world by joe jackson and he said he didn't like it on first listen but hed try again#when we got off this bus and were walkin to where i worked (i guess he worked around there too???)#we went back to talking abt writing and i was talking abt my old poetry writing class and the kind of things i wrote#and he expressed an interest in reading those old poems and i was like oh ok i guess ill look for em#but i was thinking to myself noooo those arent good i wrote those in high school you dont wanna read themmm#and then it became like hard to get down the street bc people were moving slow on the sidewalk (classic new york moment)#so we went out into the street to like cut around#and there was some truck like causing things to get backed up#and so john started like yelling at the truck driver to move out of there LMAO#and i think thats all i remember w him. but i just remember talking w him was very calming and comforting#come on man. what are you doing in my dreams#later in my dream i just remember telling people about this so im telling you all now#anyway .
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In her memoir, Blanche said Bonnie was terrified of thunderstorms
#poetry#my stuff#i havent posted poetry in a while but this was something i wrote this morning ❤️#on missing my fiancé and the associations i carry with thunderstorms#and the fact that i havent stopped thinking about Bonnie parker and her fear of rain and her own poetry#some notes: the three hour walk is reference to how far her gravesite is to clyde's#the almonds and cherries are both a reference to a perfume my fiancé's worn and the way mortuaries apparently smell#'a girl on the street' bonnie's got a poem called The Street Girl
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alright. first draft fox poem about transgenderism finished. this is workable...
#wanna think about the pathfinder character so bad 😭#anyway. sometimes being transgender is about being a fox. thesis statement#puts this poem down very nicely next to my 'i think one morning i'll wake up a fox' fox transgenderism poem#next username lol. tumblr user foxtransgenderism#valentine notes
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~
#you know ... it's frustrating that in order to get a Clean Room with Open Windows and a Sense of Peace & Readiness#you have to perform seventeen separate feats of Force of Will to clean the room. especially when you've been putting it off.#however!! I have miraculously been so un-depressed this summer that opening the curtains has been easy.#I do it every morning?? opening curtains not a Task anymore??#I think something was Actually Wrong with me last summer#I must have still been residually stressed out about the helljob my dad had just escaped from.#and I think this summer my entire family is breathing easier.#I open the curtains when I get up right away this summer. I don't drag myself over to them in the afternoon anymore.#didn't mean this to turn into a poem but it sorta did :')#Robin speaks
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he sent me a snap friend request. persona fanboy who completely ruined me emotionally and is going out with my ex best friend. chat im gonna be honest i do not know what to do here
#after the whole debacle in february i removed him on all my socials (snap included)#but i didn’t block bc i didn’t want it to seem like i cared a lot hahaaa#honesty time? i miss him so much. i just want to graduate already so i don’t have to see his face anymore#it’s definitely new too because believe me i would literally just open up his socials and stare for most of the months since everything#im so ????#i . i think i am going to accept for the plot#self respect we do NOT know her. we will know her once i graduate and leave for college. but not now unfortunately.#i literally have ap lit with him and his gf tomorrow. in case you were wondering i despise that fact so much#I LITERALLY POSTED A POEM ON MY CLOSE FRIENDS LAST NIGHT ABOUT THE WHOLE SITUATION#i deleted it this morning though bc i had clarity that i do NOT need to be that raw about everything on instagram. anyways.#maybe he just wants to see my location for senior assassins? but i have it turned off anyways and im pretty sure it would be common#knowledge that everyone on snap will turn off their location once the game starts#idek chat#i feel sick
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I can't believe I've been psyching myself out about reading poetry for so long and all it took to get me actually started was to just tell myself I would read one (1) poem a day. And now it's a lot less scary.
I'm still Dumb Baby at poetry analysis and I'm still learning what sort of things poems can do, and what I like or don't like in a poem, but it's started to feel a lot less like a mysterious magical language I could never understand.
But really though. who'd'a thought that things get easier if you set reasonable small goals for yourself. not me, apparently.
#fsh.txt#i'm currently working through a collection by ocean vuong and another by robert frost#two VERY different poets#another benefit to setting really tiny daily reading goals#is I can read my poem in the morning and then turn it over in my brain all day#and then read it again in the evening and pinpoint all the little bits I'd been thinking about and go 'oooooo'#thats about the extent of my analytical poetry capacity right now#but hey baby steps right
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bc hes quoted in that post it suddenly reminded me of when ppl on twt were calling ocean vuong a hack/cringe/etc. we should start killing people
#pulling quotes completely out of context from his book n going ‘fake deep🙄’ like kys.#SORRY this still makes me mad when i think abt it#LIKE OCEAN VUONG???? HIM????#u dont have to like his shit but to imply that its fake deep or cringe or ……devoid of meaning ….holy shit#i think honestly its mostly ppl who cant personally relate to what he writes about n so they suddenly think its bad#which is so. oh my god. learn to enjoy and read and feel moved by writing and poems even if they dont fit 1:1 with ur own personal#experiences.#anyway. good morning im cranky if u cant tell
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"Good morning, the stars are always out when it's you that I am thinking about.. stars in your eyes and galaxies on your lips, a wish smashed between the two when I am thinking of your bliss. A sunrise or a few, a sunset maybe.. but always when I am thinking of you.."
Wake up!! Wake up!! I want to see you smile - eUë
#good morning#in the morning#this morning#early morning#morning#the stars#stars#thinking of you#thinking about you#stars in your eyes#stars in my eyes#galaxies on your lips#galaxies#your lips#sunrise#sunset#poem#poetry#poetic#poets on tumblr#poet#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#spilled words#love quotes#love#love quote life quotes#love quote for her#quoteoftheday#romance
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cons of going to a “good schoolTM”: insane workload, unbearable classmates, next to no support when you have any kind of extenuating circumstances Including literal hospitalization, etc
pros of going to a “good schoolTM”: the 9-5 lifestyle is genuinely a major improvement
#taylor.txt#the extenuating circumstances point was not me btw. i know someone who had his degree delayed an entire year because of two weeks in psych#we’re in a co-op program or else maybe it wouldve just been one semester but. lol#i hate it here…i hate it#but hey…at least i have the world’s shittiest health insurance!#some of my classmates say they dont feel like working full-time is easier than going to school full-time but it so is#for me. anyway. even when i fumbled my time management bad on the field and make no mistake i was incredibly busy plus i chose a field#notorious for Unpaid Overtime and Taking Your Work Home. even then. it was still easier than this#i would never do undergrad again. i loved everything i learned. i took interesting and awesome classes#but i would never ever do it again. miserable overworked spent most of it friendless until i got on the field#i have a friend who keeps being like idk how you did 4 physics classes this sem and im like girl we are education students…thats an average#semester for a physics major. how must THEY feel#also i have to say just you know. generally. ive worked full-time while living with my parents#AND while living alone. and 50 hours a week was incredibly manageable in the former arrangement. i even wrote and edited an entire novel#in the beginning stages of a pandemic while working 50 hours a week of retail and fast food hell. 40 hours full-time with weekends off#while living alone though? thats hard. i still managed to go to the gym almost every day#currently? i cant get out of bed in the morning. i am putting in 12 hour days and then goinng to bed unable to sleep because im so stressed#i have dreams about school. tangentially theres a really good marxist poem i read last year about this phenomenon in workers#ANYWAY. i have just 8 more days 4 exams 1 research paper and video project#i think i can pass and then thats it. my next semester is hell but just because scheduling the actual classes will be easy#and then i get to go back on the field and actually want to wake up every day. lol#and 8 days from now i will have my christmas shopping done and my apartment will be clean and i will be a fanfic writing machine#also my friends and i booked a demolition room so im sure that will be beneficial kfldjfldndks
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i had an idea for such a cliche Hallmark like gentan au but it haunts me
#genya as a reclusive poet forced to do interviews about his insanely popular poetry anthology#tanjirou as the subject of those poems who is also doing a press tour for his cookbook#they meet on the set of a morning show#and are forced to reckon with how their almost relationship has shaped their careers#points: genya's poetry anthology is actually an edited version of his highschool poetry his editor forced him to publish#genya is extremely inarticulate out loud which is part of why he hates interviews but he says poignant stuff without thinking#tanjirou probably thinks of his books as just cook books but they're closer to marie kondos lifestyle books#they showcase how to express love through food to yourself and to others
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do you really believe in him? is he a good kid? no problems? you're gonna love him. you're gonna love him.
#i miss tyler bertuzzi#i made this a year ago because it came to me out of nowhere & when i finished it tyler scored four goals & the red wings still lost & i jus#i remade parts of it & fixed things because this was one of the first ones i ever made but i think about this poem all the time with him.#this is one of my favorite & most-fitting edits & honestly. i could make so many for tyler. this could be edited down a lot tbh#do you really believe in him? is he a good kid? no problems? you’re gonna love him. you’re gonna love him.#in the original athanasiou is faith (love before he was gone) sheer for moe (overwhelming joy) & dyl was tireless (the two of them always)#oh also the original restless splendor is the griffins winning the cup :)#you all have seen/read parts of this poem in my tyler bertuzzi tags like That is how much this (abridged)poem is him to me it is no one els#there are. so many alt versions to so many different parts of this so like i started writing these (see that i said i like hit first) & now#i have to admit that it really was just the beginning we don't have a future we have a dog i love & is right completely#tyler bertuzzi#detroit ride or die#liv in the replies#softly: the bertuzzi thesis#this is excerpts from atlantic by mark doty & the dogs at live oak beach remixed and abridged sorry#HAHAHAHAHA ok when i said i was thinking about tyler & dogs i meant the four tyler borzoituzzi posts sitting in my drafts but like. here#this is possibly one of the most self-indulgent things i’ve created & it is straight up just for me 🫡#& i have looked at it for so long that i’ve started to hate it is 1AM i am simply full sending & we’ll see how i feel in the morning
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you’d made me breakfast,
but time was short and i didn’t hear you call
i came down to see you standing,
breakfast cold, soggy, and left untouched
i wasn’t hungry and pushed my way out the door,
leaving quickly, no time to look back at your face
i don’t even think i said goodbye.
i’m sorry, dad;
could you make me some breakfast before you go?
#algaelove#i bawled my eyes out at school all day#he looked so sad#i still think about that morning and cry#poetry#poets corner#poetblr#poetscommunity#my poetry#poets on tumblr#original poem#poems and poetry#queer poets on tumblr#original poems#my poem#short poem#sad poem#poems on tumblr#poem#poem to my dad#short poetry#sad poetry#poetic#angsty poetry#i wish i was a better person#a better kid#im sorry for not eating the breakfast you made me#and im sorry we were always fighting#every time i make breakfast i think about you#i hope you know i love you
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My pen stopped working, and I was forced to substitute it for a black color pencil cause I have no spare pens...
ANYWAY, I GOT A NEW NOTEBOOK AND DREW THIS ON THE FIRST TWO EMPTY PAGES
#it's gonna be used mostly as a dream journal (write in it every morning to take note of what i dreamt about)#but i might write a few of my trashy poems as well#i think im just gonna use it as a general notebook honestly#tumblr killed the quality again#fuck you tumblr#also the last time i drew a more cartoon face like that was when i was like... 12
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