#think I’ve typed it enough times?
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I have Tighe/Cass and Trinne/Lann ficlets to type up and then maybe, maybe the muses will free me to work on OWaP xD
#queen rambles#writer stuff#fun fact! my phone autocorrects the capitalization for OWaP now 😁#think I’ve typed it enough times?#okay the trinne/lann one miiight be long enough to be a oneshot#we shall see
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LSTR-S2301 and the maintenance tunnel ARAR are best friends to me even though that Elster was only on sierpinski for a seemingly brief time, they’re bros who fuck around on the clock during work. I think Elster was probably more willing to put extra time in however she’s also very “okay you’ve given me a list of tasks I did them. They’re done and done well. That’s it, my time now.” Whereas I see Ara being more of a slacker (very valid of her) or at the very least just a bare minimum type of gal when it comes to work.
Idk I tend to imagine them fucking off in the middle of shifts to go find weird lonely corners of sierpinski to hang out in. They don’t even talk half the time but they love it.
#listen I know sierpinski Elster has Alina as her lover#I don’t necessarily see Elster/ara as romantic although it could be#they’re just tired work bros to me#u have machine autism and plant autism and they’re both silent types I think they’d click#I’ve seen some fun takes on Lilith and Elster as characters too#to me Lilith Itou is definitely the strong silent type but not bc she always means to be#yes she is an intimidating war veteran but I think part of that intimidation factor comes from her being awkward as hell when it comes#to talking#combo of awkward/ just being a woman of few words anyway#which comes through in LSTRs I think#they don’t say much when they don’t feel that they need to ig#anyway idk if this makes sense I’m just rambling#I was also just trying to think abt LSTR-S2301 bc poor thing#imagine being your own individual replika but you’re brought to this place as basically a sacrificial lamb? of sorts#in that you as you are. it’s not what you need to be for a god’s purpose#but it’s close enough that the parts that aren’t needed can be stripped away#and filled again#she was only ever meant to be a vessel for 512 in many ways#but she was still S2301 and had her own life and friends for a brief moment in time#signalis#this isn’t worded well but gets the tag regardless#I should make a rambles tag separate from my personal tag maybe#lynx rambles#<- new tag ig
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i haven’t been here much recently, and i’m sorry i’ve only been negative on the off chance i’ve been online, but let me just say one last piece before the end of this month, so that maybe the next might be better….
#or maybe my time here ends w this month…i’m not sure i guess it all depends on how i feel but as of right now#everytime i think i'm fine i open tumblr and immediately am sad again the whole app has become my doomscroll at this point#i got a notification on a random talking post from a while ago and it felt like reading the words of a completely different person#lately i find it difficult to find any joy here at all when it always feels so lonely… a type of loneliness i’ve never experienced before#everyone always has ppl interacting w them who are interested in their stuff or are always sent things that are reminiscent of them....#i’m always praised for remembering stuff abt other ppl but i wonder if anyone remembers anything abt me#what is it about me that is so forgettable am i dull am i uninteresting did i not solidify myself enough do you guys just not like me lolz#but i don't want this to come across as guilt tripping or being ungrateful to what i do have because ik comparison is the death of joy but#it's still hard to watch when it's so in your face and it makes me think if ppl only talk to me because they feel obligated to#because anyone can say empty words.... i wish my perception of things didn't turn bitter i wish i hadn't become so jaded but#over and over i've felt irrelevant cast aside overshadowed and i cannot exist in a place where i feel like i'm a ghost in the corner#idk i've never felt like This before and i'm at least glad it's something i can walk away from by just....leaving...#sad that this used to be somewhere i can run away To but now it's become somewhere i want to run away From#i don't know...even if i get over whatever this is...things will never be the same for me... i just don't think i belong here#if only i had never made this blog then i would have saved myself a world of turmoil
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so y’all remember how i was saving for sunday and fugue …
#rem is typing ..!#he came early#i decided to gamble a lil on the gambler and he came home to me ✊😔#win but also wah#i’d have 31 pulls left over but i also did a couple tenners on acheron’s weapon jic bc i don’t have it and would like it#still deliberating on whether or not to go for it since sunday is next#since i got an aventurine i’ll likely skip#as for sunday#if i don’t pull anymore i’ll have enough to get SOMETHING on release day#whether that’s a loss or not only time will tell#if i lose i’ll likely only go to 35 pity before stopping simply bc fugue would be better for my acc despite how much i tolerate sunday#but yeah that’s the new plan HDBXJFBF#this is twice now that i’ve pulled and gotten an imaginary character with the funds i was saving for a different imaginary character#and tbh i think it’s rlly funny#game id: honkai star rail ..!
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I really do like character design in mouthwashing
Anya is obvi inspired by Shelley Duval (who was also verbally abused by Cubric, if I recall correctly), the Shining protagonist. Curly is your typical captain America style charismatic leader, he is even canonically a gym bro (although I recall you mentioning that if Curly's pre-crash face wasn't revealed, you would've headcanoned him as black, so I am a bit curios, what his dynamic w/ Jimmy would've been. Like, I think this little piece of sht would be casually racist towards him, he is just that sort of asshole. If the story was set at our times he would've def vote for Trump and complain abt immigrants eating dogs or something equally rediculous lol. Also, his dynamic w/ Anya - being marginalised himself would've he been harder on Jimbo's bullshit? Or would that not matter at all in their particular situation? So many possibilities.)
Daisuke is a bright spot in an otherwise dull and grey space. Swansea is simply perfect, 10/10😁
-💀
I don’t think Jimmy would be racist towards Curly or anyone for that matter.
Like I don’t see Jimmy as a misanthrope. He’s not hateful just to be hateful, he’s spiteful. All of his envy and resentment of others comes from his own projection of shared aspects he feels inferior by. I think the biggest difference is it adds a little more ire to Jimmy’s sentiments as it takes away an easy aspect of Curly’s life. I assume Mouthwashing operates in a similar social history and structure as our world so Curly likely faced prejudices based on his race in this scenario. He had something extra outside of his control weighing him down and yet he still reached that highest rung.
For Jimmy it’s infuriating. It feeds that delusion that Curly has it so much easier, that he doesn’t have to do the real work to get to that space. He should’ve struggled more, he should be more bitter but he isn’t. He’s not like him still and he’s pissed about it. He still wouldn’t understand the underlying and systemic issues Curly would’ve faced cause he can’t. He wouldn’t try to because in doing that it’s an admission he’s just not trying like Curly is. Any comments that could be seen as racist are less targeted at Curly’s ethnicity but just at him. Jimmy’s issues are with Curly as a whole, being so idealic compared to him and everything around him. It’s not just one facet of him physically, mentally or emotionally that makes Jimmy so envious. It’s why he’s obsessed, it everything about him.
As for Anya, this is no anger toward you, but there’s this perception in fandom spaces with intersectionality that sharing a minority status creates an equal understanding of what exact struggles the others go through. You can understand the feeling of oppression but certain aspects of certain systems will still be misunderstood if they don’t apply to you. Curly is still a man and Anya a woman. Perhaps she is a woman of color, it think he may have been a bit harsher to Jimmy as he would be aware of the racial factors at play when it comes to the dehumanization and sexism perpetrated towards WOC but he still wouldn’t get it as a man.
It’s like apples and oranges to where they are both fruit but being categorically the same doesn’t make them identical. I can not describe to you the taste of an apple by using an orange. Anya would no more understand Curly’s struggles being black than he would her being the only woman on board. Of course they share the similarity of being the only one but even in this case we do work off the assumption everybody but Daisuke is white. He’d inherently have more solidarity with him on that aspect than her.
#I also just kinda headcanon anyone as black if there’s no canon race or physical description#blue eyes be damned it’s the future fuck it#but yeah I don’t think it’d change much but it does add to that factor of Jimmy really#not understanding the responsibilities and struggles of other especially with his black best friend#he’s the type to think having scholarships targets to minorities was weird but he’d hold his tongue on it#like I don’t think he’d vote for Trump but he just wouldn’t vote hell put his name on the balet#he’s like one of those people that don’t vote cause he feels it doesn’t matter even tho he could vote to help#those around him affected like he’s a centrist because he’s not#stupid enough to fall for right wing stuff but he’s also against the woke mob ig#mouthwashing#ask#mouthwashing game#💀 anon#jimmy mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#it’s also a thing of sort of Curly thinking those comments are bad cause they aren’t the worse you heard. like being in white dominated#spaces you hear things and develop a system of ignorance vs intentional racism#it’s not fun but it allows you to navigate them safely because no white person can understand that sort of isolation being the only BIPOC is#or just poc in general like I’ve had “friends who I’d never talk to but they were just better options than complete racists#black Curly is like that in my head where the foundation of his friendship with Jimmy is based on him not being the worst and the other#emotional abuse that is practically canon#it’s complicated but at the same time an aspect that would change so much and so little
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i think i'm finally gonna read house of leaves wish me luck
#i've been meaning to read this book for like 5+ years lol#i think i'm finally ready to commit to it and also i just bit the bullet and bought a copy#because i know myself enough to know that i will not finish it if i get it from the library#and also they didn’t have the gravity falls book at the bookstore hahaha they said they’ve sold out of it twice#so. oh well. house of leaves time first#also i think i'm gonna finish fma brotherhood without my friend who wanted to watch it in the first place#out of spite because he's still being a little bitch#hope he doesn't change his mind! or feel butt hurt when i don't want to watch shit with him anymore#i think after all this i'm not gonna watch any longer series with him anymore#movies only. low commitment only. so he can't bail on me just on a whim#i'm enjoying fma a lot though!! these boys are the exact type of characters i get attached to lol#i like the alchemy shit also and the humor/drama balance#and the character design and the world building and the Lore#i was kind of on a movie kick again earlier this month but i just don’t have a lot of time for it rn#or the attention span. to be so honest#kind of embarrassing but i’m so mentally exhausted and i’ve been splitting my attention between a lot of different things lately#i was on such a reading kick this summer too!! hopefully house of leaves will replenish my energy for reading#i also got a sci-fi novel a nonfiction book and a folklore collection so i have plenty of new material rn#and i found another book that i want to reread soon#winter is gonna be a big reading time i am committing to that!!#anyway. that’s that
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Soooo what are y’all’s hcs on the Tweak family 🤔🤔🤔
#lowkey I like to hc it as a generational trauma type of thing for Mr Tweak#I feel like Richard was a LOT like Tweek when he was little#very anxious and unsure of himself#he mentions in the gnomes episode I believe that his business has been going on 30 years#and was passed down to him by his father by his father before him#growing up I think that he too was given a lot of this coffee by his father#and over the years he was conditioned and manipulated into accepting this as the norm#in hopes that he would one day take over the business#when he was finally old enough his father shared the family recipe with him and at that point he had pretty much been brainwashed#I think he sees a lot of his younger self in tweek which is why he’s so condescending towards him and so determined to steer him down the#same path. Repeating the cycle and all that#and when Tweek is old enough he plans on sharing the family’s secret as his father did with him#MRS Tweak on the other hand is an interesting one#we know so little about her but I feel like her personality also says a lot about her#she’s definitely better than Mr Tweak but she’s still very complacent and neglectful#I think what stands out to me the most about her though is the way her personality can completely switch up at times#most of the time she has this eerily calm almost docile personality#but other times she’s a LOT more attentive and caring#yk like a normal mom#COMPLETELY different from how she usually acts#but the episode that gets me the most is “Gnomes#where she actively goes against Richard’s attempt to manipulate the kids and use them for business ventures#yet this is the same mom that actively poisons her son? presumably for the business??#like it doesn’t make sense to me#I’ve seen someone suggest that Richard has been drugging her too#and BOY would that be a twist#definitely would explain the sudden shift in personality#i definitely think it would be interesting if she was in the dark about a lot of this too#not using this as an excuse as I still do think she is SOMEWHAT negligent on her own but I do think it could explain some things#south park
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we as a society need to talk more about platonic love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND HOW WONDERFUL IT IS!!!!!!
#i don’t see enough appreciation of platonic love#and i hate the idea that its somehow secondary to romatic love#both are wonderful and both are important#and to some one might be more important than the other#but i don’t think we should’ve made it into a whole societal thing that romantic love is like the “ultimate ” type of love#because it truly isn’t#i love people platonically so much#like SO much#and sometimes i have a hard time imagining myself loving anyone romantically as much as i love my friends platonically#i know i’ve done it before and i might do it again#but i will ALWAYS treasure my friendships and see the platonic love i give and receive as incredibly important#because#it id very important to me#in conclusion: i love my friends#platonic love is neat#and we should celebrate it more than we do#platonic love#atlas the thinker#personal
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Now that I’ve had some sleep after my break down this morning I think I’m just gonna spend today relaxing, might play some bg3 or continue on with my trevelyan run on dai
#I would finish my canon run. of dai but I’ve cried enough today LMAO#I think it nearly my time of the month…. pmdd kicking my ass#*its god I can’t type today
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i need to make more art (serious original kind) and also more fanart and also more oc art. and also keep knitting. and do everything when am i gonna find the time.
#i neeeed to make severance art and also more malevolent art honestly. the amount of time i’ve spent thinking about malevolent the past few#months does not correspond to the amount of art i’ve made about it i want to make more. and also my ocs are once again floating around#my brain. but also i want to make the type of art i also have to make right now for school. but new classes start today and man. when am i#gonna do all the things i want to do. like i also want to read and play video games and i need to get important things done. not enough tim#remy rambles
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sighs and collapses and disintegrates into the wind
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent post#cw vent post#ah yes. another restless nights sleep in a cold room bc i was too upset and sick to eat enough yesterday and my nightmares won’t let up and#my heater isn’t enough to warm the room when it’s this fucking cold outside. but it’s fine bc i don’t think i deserve to be warmer anyway#i should get water but i’ve been stuck laying here for an hour wondering if im racist and feeling like i should just. leave. or smthn. idk#i need a caregiver so there’s someone here to stop me from doomscrolling tumblr and reddit discourse for two hours before bed. lol#but ig no matter how careful i try to be there’ll always be part of me thats. unconsciously? racist? bc im white so its just part of me#idk im not educated enough to talk about it so i guess the real lesson to learn here is to keep my fucking mouth shut. which i can do!#i don’t. know how to apologize correctly. bc no one wants to hear me piss and moan abt my white guilt. if that’s what it even is#im too stupid to understand what to do or say and the more i type the worse it sounds so im just. sorry. i apologize for anything i’ve said#or done. that wasn’t right or was insensitive or thoughtless or uneducated or. whatever else it is i rlly don’t know#i didn’t mean to use AAVE. i really didn’t know. so i’ll go edit the tag where i used it but. that’s only one example. how many more am i#unaware of? how often do i put my foot in my mouth and not know it? im sorry. i’ll try to do better#but there’s so much to be mindful of that i can’t keep track of it all and it’s overwhelming me so i think i should just. be quiet.#‘always a fanfic writer at the scene of the crime’ i. didn’t know there was a connection between racism and fanfic. now im worried#was that just an easy jab to make bc it’s cringe or is it actually problematic. why does it seem like theres smthn wrong w everything i do#anyways. i have to stop thinking abt it or im gonna anxiety vomit. i could go lay on the couch#it in the only warm room of the house but it’s covered in dog hair and i hate the smell from the stupid fucking propane heater#it gives me a headache and makes me paranoid. why did he install gas heat when he could’ve gone with a heat pump. all he did was make#everything harder on everybody. so now we have dangerous gas heat in the winter and shitty mold-filled window ac units in the summer#when he could’ve installed a heat pump/ac unit combo thingy and we would’ve been good to go. why is he like this.#YOURE A GODDAMN ELECTRICIAN. HAVE BEEN YOUR WHOLE LIFE. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT. SO ACT LIKE IT.#im staying in bed. the rest of the house reeks of burnt plastic bc SOMEONE decided to take FOUR sedatives and drink a couple beers before#trying to use the stove to cook dinner :))) so now i have to figure out how to clean that up. i take back everything i said about winter#being my favorite season. this shit fucking sucks. there’s so much more to stress over and it’s all so much more expensive and exhausting#i never want another dog or cat ever again after these two pass. im not the person i once was and i cannot care for them like i used to.#i can’t even care for myself. couldn’t if i Wanted to right now bc everything is frozen solid. can’t shower. can’t do any laundry.#just get to sit here filthy cold and miserable in the one clean-ish sweater i have left for ? days until temps get back above freezing#anyways thats enough bitching abt my first world problems. time to shut up and be grateful for what i Do have bc it could be a Lot worse
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just remembered a friend describing my anxiety as “severe” the other day n i still don’t know how to feel abt it
#marzi speaks#i’m one of those. i hate this term but don’t know a better one#‘high functioning’ types of folks#and i mean. the GAD went undiagnosed for 17 years so#i’m at the very least good enough at masking to fool ppl into thinking the anxiety isn’t that bad#but. i guess some of my stuff could be considered severe#the agoraphobia i had after lockdown was lifted was for sure really bad#i remember making plans with friends and being really excited#and then day of i was so stressed i threw up and had to tell my friends i couldn’t come#bc i was just. too ill. from anxiety#i felt nauseous every time i left the house for a good couple months after that. managed to convince my body i wasn’t gonna die eventually#i guess that qualifies as severe even if i handled it relatively well. hm.#i have a hard time gauging that sort of thing. i’ve been like this my whole life so it just feels normal to me#i don’t know what the ‘standard’ level of anxiety is in any given moment#is it 0?#bc like even when i’m hanging out it sits at a 3/10 i think#i’m only really at 0 when i’m really relaxed and/or high#much to ponder
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Hey hey hey mate! ‘S been a while but I’ve just kinda scrolled through your art tag from the last three years (TIME MOVING REAL!?) and it’s crazy to see how much you’ve done in that time XD! Real fond of your splatoon ocs (manta and Ray was it?) and that one love letter fanart you made (BLEW MY MIND!? THE LYRICS FIT THEM SO WELL!! I WAS IN AWE) X) really do love spending time on this app n’ yappin, makes me wish I spend more than like five minutes a week here ,, BUT gonna do my bestest to see what you’ve been up to/ going to get up to 💚 - Z (ALSO DO YOU HAVE A LIIKR A TAG FOR YOUR OC WORLD CUZ I SAW A FEW POSTS MENTION IT BUT I COULDNT FIND IT RAAARGHHH I would love to see it I am so sorry for yelling byebyebeybeye)
HII Z
Im literally at work rn crying at your kind words 🫶🫶🫶
It really is crazy it’s been so long 😭 I feel like I’ve improved in my art but stayed the same at the same time hehe
Thank you for loving my boys! I created them with my homie from high school and they consume my brain,,They’re just goofy little guys who fight and love each other :) Ray is dating Callie (gross🙄(affectionate)) and manta is dating Dove hehe
Thank you for saying so!!! About the letter fanart guehrhe I killed myself doing that last year on the midst of art fight 💀💀
A lot of my OC stuff is in my head and scattered across sites eughejehe I could ramble about them but it wouldn’t be coherent ! The story changes every 2 months jdhddndh
Oughhh i loveghsj themmm just some more silly guys
Anywho thank you for saying all that I really appreciate it and our friendship although we don’t talk as much anymore 🫶🫶🫶
#oc rambling in tags:#Orion is an elf wizard#elves are one of the few species that weren’t born inherently with magic so they learned it from the world around them#because of that a lot of others consider them to be fake#also rotating an idea about evil elves who source their magic through the slaughter of magical beasts#it’s a cheating way of gaining power and does not give respect to nature smh#Orion is roommates with Fyre-a dragonborn#the story takes place at Ajicae Academy#there are 2 ways to enroll-either have a lot of magic skill or potential#fyre has both#he’s very strong and feircly loyal#Dragonborn’s only have control over fire magic#elves have learned to control all types of magic so Orion is a jack of all trades#then their is Axel who is the heir to the siren kingdom#*there#he is protective of orion but doesn’t quite see them as equal#she has a bit of a tsundere personality 💀#Blanc is a tabaxi-the other species no born with magical abilities#tabaco care less about learning magic than elves#they’re generally inventors#Blanc creates things that aid in harnessing or strengthening magic#I’ll add more later maybe gotta go back to work lol !#the main humanoid races are fairies angels dragonborn tabaxi sirens and elves#I’ve considered giants but I haven’t found a way to make them interesting enough for me to draw and still differentiate from elves#the main forms of magic are water fire air plant light and earth#I know I want monsters to exist but I’m not sure how to separate them from regular magical creatures without being stereotypical#I’m thinking of making it so they’re infected with something causing them to be out of control?#but I also want there to be technology protecting Ajicae from monsters#I can’t have it both ways 😔#unless the monsters have existed a long time? hmmm I have to think a lot on it
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Yet another set of incorrect quotes, this time featuring the Most Fucked Up Siblings, because @katkastrofa is having a hard day and I’m trying my best to be a good friend <3
(And some notes, because I love yapping about them)
She wouldn’t say it out loud since she knows when to keep her mouth shut, but you just know she’s thought it on many, many occasions while being reprimanded
These two have… rather differing opinions on poetry. Zaheer is very particular about writing style and word choice and tempo and grammar. Aiza likes funky words thrown onto a page :P She’s more into prose anyway, especially of the.. inappropriate variety 🤭
It recently occurred to me that part of Summiya and Aiza’s education would absolutely be something music related, like playing a few fancy instruments, so new HC, Aiza is crazy good at recognising notes by ear and the only reason she was rarely praised in her lessons is because unlike Summiya, she wasn’t content with sticking to pre-written pieces and wanted to experiment more. Luckily, there are no rules when it comes to playing instruments at the Air Temple, therefore he’s free to go wild :D
Yes, a huge part of the reason they didn’t get along as kids (on the rare occasions they got to interact) was because Summiya was a stuck up nag, but have we considered that Zaheer being a little shit played just as much of a role in that?
I feel like there’s no need for further commentary on this one, the quote says it all
Priorities, man… (also I’ve had this one quote in mind since like.. August, so I’m glad I’m finally posting it lmao)
Brothel gang mentioned!! Featuring low empathy Summiya not knowing how to handle having friends for the first time in her life 🫠
If younger Summiya was even a tiny bit self aware:
Underappreciated part of Summiya reuniting with her siblings – she still has no idea how to act like an actual human being. Emran absolutely takes the piss out of her for it every single day they’re together
More of Summiya being completely socially inept, this time with a horny undertone because this wouldn’t be a post on tumblr.com/cuteniarose without at least one innuendo 😁
#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#(hey can my tablet memorise that word pattern already? I’m tired of typing it every time)#I need to make dinner so I’m not gonna bother with a tag rant. I think I’ve said enough#Kat can fill in for me if she wants :)#and I’m gonna go figure out what to eat when I’ve got an empty fridge#wish me luck lmao
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I’m gonna be pathetic real quick,
#I miss her so much#dealing with a one sided crush on one of my closest friends no less has not been easy#we haven’t really hung out this year not bc of the feelings stuff but bc I was tired of always being the one to plan hang outs and outreach#this has always been our dynamic#she’s just not the initiator type#which was fine at first#but for me the more I put into a friendship the more I expect in return#so it was hard not to take it personally when things didn’t change after we talked abt it#anyway she graduated college today#and idk if it just really sunk in that this is very likely the last time we will ever be in proximity to each other#but something abt it just kinda hit me today#a part of me wishes she had reached out#but maybe this is for the best#I feel I shouldn’t have to ask for what I need every single time#the down side is that knowing that doesn’t cancel out the years of friendship#I’ve always had a hard time letting people go#a part of me almost always cares about them for a long time#it’s hard bc my college experience was largely knowing that while I had friends I likely wasn’t their top choice#or part of their larger group#I floated around a lot which was cool sometimes and lonely other times#but if there was any person who I would have expected or I guess even just wanted to put in more of an effort it was her#personal#rambles#vent#it is complicated navigating friend expectations vs crush yearning#but I like to think that I can be rational enough to distinguish between the two#and so not ask for anything that is outside the reasonable expectation for friends#idk man it’s been an emo day overall ig
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1 AM and the servers asleep so i’m just gonna post my thoughts on here but i think it’s rlly so important and poignant how sho extends an olive branch to his father after everything that happened, when he absolutely would’ve been justified in spitting in toichiro’s face and walking out of his life forever (similarly to what toichiro did to him, metaphorically at least). and that decision that he makes is one that cements how mature and understanding sho is despite his antics and attitude.
like, he’s a kid, and he’s a kid that experienced massive amounts of abuse and trauma in his formative years. we will truly never know how he was raised whilst working in claw, but seeing how pretty much everyone else was manipulated, brainwashed, and tortured into reaching their full potential—the assumption can be made that it wasn’t easy. and sho’s father is Directly responsible for that, meaning he’s Directly responsible for any mistreatment or neglect sho faced even if it wasn’t done by him directly. and any kid at his age with all that baggage probably wouldn’t want to keep their dad around, after everything has finally been resolved. but sho doesn’t do that; he reminds toichiro that he’s still gotta hear an earful from his ex wife, and sho is ensuring that this won’t be the end. he is offering his father a kindness that that man never gave to him. and that’s like. Astounding for a kid his age
i think it’s really easy for people to place sho firmly in the trope of like silly, goofy kid with an insane side; but sho has one of the most level heads out of the esper teens. it’s kind of like he got a lot of that emotional turbulence out of the way beforehand, and now is just centering his focus on this one goal. of course, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t do stupid shit based on bad trains of thought (the whole concept of him trying to resist the narrative only to become more ingrained in it is like. right there. also the hero trope shit y’all have seen the essay posts i’m not reiterating). but sho is a lot more sure of what he’s doing and what he wants than ritsu, mob, or teru.
also it’s just like. the fact that he gives his father a second chance really drives home the message of the entire series. that people can make mistakes, but those mistakes do not have to define their whole existence if they’re willing to own up to them and change. sho is extending himself in much the same way mob extended himself to toichiro hours earlier, only this time there’s the weight of this probably not being the first time sho has given his father a second chance and yet he Still does it. and toichiro realizing that he could’ve squandered that chance during confession arc is SO GOOD like you see how sho is conflicted and hurt bc he’s essentially being let down once again, and so toichiro walks back. he won’t let his son’s trust be given in vain
the suzukis rival the kageyamas in terms of like. accurate familial representation. like if you eliminate all of the psychic terrorism bullshit, this is a broken family—further broken by a messy divorce—trying to navigate life post-everything. there is no expectation for sho to forgive his father (he doesn’t do that at any point and That Is Important), and there’s no expectation for him to do anything with his father At All. toichiro understands that he is deserving of no one’s kindness.
yet sho does it anyway. he does it because he wants to and because he cares. and that’s far more than toichiro could’ve ever asked for
#ignorance cloud on#mp100#um uhhhhh um. looks around. hey who’s getting too emotional abt the suzukis over here?#maybe this is bc im in the awkward process of trying to figure out whether i wanna cut my parents off for good but like. their relationship#means a lot to me and sho is such an interesting character bc of how he navigates this#like sho is well within his rights to never talk to his dad again. but that’s not what he does! he reaches out! he wants this!#like i don’t rlly believe in the concept of like a ‘redemption arc’ bc i think it allows people to like sweep#heinous bullshit under the rug. i more believe in just the concept of growth and like. moving forward#toichiro and sho never ignore what happened. the abuse and the trauma is all there. sho makes no efforts in trying to distract from that#toichiro never apologizes and sho never forgives bc they both know it’d be a moot point#but working beyond that together and like. rediscovering the meaning of family is just OGH#the kageyama parents don’t interact w their kids enough for us to get any good parental child dynamics#but the suzukis make up for that tenfold. shouts out. love them. okay uh i’ve been typing for thirty minutes#bed time forever now#sorry if this is incoherent hvjdnnfjvnf
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