#things will work themselves out with time. there's beauty in life and you will find small delights to cherish!! i am manifesting it for u!!
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beaming everyone on the dashh with good brain day vibes!!! i hope that you all can remember to extend self-compassion to yourself whenever you're feeling down about something đ
#lizzy speaks#the human brain works in such profound ways i think#lately i've been thinking about that post that was like 'you will always be your oldest friend take care of yourself'#it's definitely a sentiment i agree with and i appreciate how it emphasizes the importance of extending compassion to yourself#you wouldn't say such hurtful things to your friends right? (or at least i'd hope so)#so why would you say it to yourself?#you are your own friend too. and i think everyone has a beautiful soul within themselves. nurture it! water it! feed it good thoughts.#basically i wish everyone a 'i hope that your brain is not your own enemy but rather a friend that you can find comfort in'#things will work themselves out with time. there's beauty in life and you will find small delights to cherish!! i am manifesting it for u!!#and for those who find it difficult to transition from a self-critical mindset to one that's more compassionate and nonjudgmental#i truly think that with time you will be able to rewire your brain to be kinder to yourself. i'm proud of you for taking any first steps :)#there are times in which it feels counterintuitive to go against habits that feel hard-wired... but brains are very malleable littel guys-#with such a wonderful capacity for changing and learning new things. so i hope everyone can learn to be their own best friend!#not to undermine the importance of a support network ofc. that's good too and im all for that!! but i hope everyone remembers to be kind-#not only to others but also to themselves!! you're going to do great out there!! i love you all!!#ive just been thinking about this a lot... i needed to get it out there. you all shine so brightly!!! we shall be fine!!! have a good week!#sorry if this is out of nowhere but if there's anything about me you should know it's that i'm the 'hey dont cry 8 billion people on earth-#ok?' post. idk i just find great joy in knowing others are out there thriving and finding a daily delight yknow i love humanity!!
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so many of the transfems i know spent their time pre-transition performing a kind of lifelong exercise in self-deprivation, the goal of which was to find out exactly how little a person needed to live. they starved themselves, dressed carelessly, shunned friends, and hollowed themselves out so as not to be burdens on anyone but themselves.
i see it now, too, in the girls around me. i'll ask if they want care â a home-cooked meal, relaxed company, sex without the expectation of reciprocation â and they say no, no, thank you, i don't need it; what would you like, what do you want, because in their head they're still doing that awful calculus, still training themselves to disappear in the eyes of the people around them.
i don't think i'd have died without transition â not in the conventional sense, at least â but to take that leap, i had to stop thinking of myself as a human experiment in fuel-efficient living and start nurturing the anemic, atrophied flame of desire in my heart. i had to learn to eat well, to exercise, to style myself beautiful, but harder than that, i had to learn to ask the people around me to work on my behalf in order to enrich my life and give me the things i wanted.
and i did it; i learned. and it was agony, but courage is a muscle you can train, and every day i get better at accepting gifts with the hungry gratitude i never learned in my years and years as a sad, scared, lonely boy.
so be patient with the trans girls in your life. better than that: be proactive, attentive, generous; be forceful, if you have to, and learn to distinguish real discomfort from the terrified reflex of self-denial that so many of us once learned to rely on.
and if you are so lucky as to love a trans girl, you must insist upon her. you must insist upon her happiness, her comfort, her pleasure, and her rest, because she may still not yet know how to make those demands for herself. if you can devote any amount of energy to becoming an engine that nurtures the flame of even a single tgirl then there is a place for you in trans heaven, which as far as i'm concerned is the only one worth going to
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beetlejuice!
{beetlejuice!satoru gojo x f!reader}
â â may you never forget me â âȘ àŒâ
summary: living as a psychic medium was like a ticket straight to nothing in your life, you always accidentally creeping people out and scaring them when you talked about it, and you just feeling emptyâ like something was missing and vacant in your life with no explanation as to why. but upon stumbling through an attic inside a house of a recently deceased couple, you meet himâ beetlejuice, a silly and wacky man who was damned to live in the attic for eternity due to him breaking the rules, you never having met a spirit so forward and flirtatious in your life as you quickly bonded. but when beetlejuice presents the idea of you being able to break his contract and finally set him free, you hesitate at the one condition⊠marrying him.
warnings: MDNI afab!reader, DIABOLICAL angst my god, angst w/ comfort though YIPPEEE, mentions of death, mentions of murder, reader is a psychic medium, fluuufff, SMUUUTTT, p in v sex, DOM AFF SATORU MEOOWWW, unprotected sex (wrap it yâall), creampie, oral, blowie, mentions of ghosts and spirits and things, loosely inspired by the 80s movie, mentions of reader having âpink cheeksâ is only to amplify and over-exaggerate feelings of embarrassment, shyness, and everything in between, and not to be taken literally! this is a work of fiction, and you can imagine many things for yourself :)
word count: 19.8k
authors note: YEEEEEOOOOWWWW GET READY YALLâŠ.. SHES FREAKY⊠SHES ANGSTY⊠AND SHES THE MOMEEEENNTTTT omg i absolutely LOOOVEDDD writing this one so much and i hope you guys find it interesting or iâm gonna CRYYYY HEHEHEH no iâm jk but as always, i love you SO SO SO much and thank you for all of your love and support !! MWAAAHHH <333
youâve always had a knack for the paranormal.
and from the newspaper clippings you saw and the meddlesome whisperings of your fellow neighbors, newlyweds adam and barbara maitland died on their way home from a day out in the townâ swerving in their vehicle while crossing over a bridge and crashing through the side of it, evidently sending themselves tumbling down to the river below and drowning.
it was the biggest tragedy your tiny town had ever been hit with, the maitlandâs having renovated their house on the hill from scratch and had recently just finished it when the accident happened, the both of them in the midst of planning their honeymoon to get away from winter river for a little while, happy and in love and looking forward to a quiet serene life together.
it was a shame, really, and it only took two weeks for rumors to spread about how there were always weird moving shadows from the windows of their two story home, or slight flashings of neon blue or white seeping through the cracks of their front doorâ all of which pissed the realtors off seeing as the rumors prevented the house from being sold again, prospected buyers coming in with high hopes only to be scared off once they so even explored the town, a store clerk or a fellow neighbor quick to tell them of the gossip and to stay away, ultimately causing the house to collect dust and cobwebs until realtors decided they wouldnât bother much with it anymore.
and the rumors always peaked your interest, as your entire life youâve always had a passion for the supernatural seeing as your late parents were psychic mediums for the otherworldly, a beautiful ominous gift that was relayed to you from the moment you were able to correctly comprehend sentences, your mind and soul more welcoming to spirits of the unknown compared to regular folk who flat out refused.
and why? you didnât know. they were just mystic entities that perhaps couldnât find their way to the other side like they were intended, and if the rumors were true, the maitlandâs were in the same predicament, and you felt like they just needed time and space without the pestering of realtors or dumb kids knocking on the windows to see if a ghost would pop outâ deserving of a proper chance to figure it out.
except your boyfriend wouldnât understand that either.
âbabe câmon!â he pleaded with you, a distressed look on his face. âi thought you liked creepy ghost shit?â
you scoffed. âyes rin but not to fucking break in and steal their things! what the hellâs the matter with you?!â
rin groaned and rubbed his eyes, his friends obviously annoyed and bothered by your defiance and it only made you feel awkward, sitting there on your desk chair in your college dorm and guiltily picking at your black nail polish.
ây/n we literally cannot go if you donât go.â he pushed. âwe need your ghost brain to tell us if theyâre around so we can scram if they decide to kill us.â
you snorted, already aggravated by rinâs lack of respect and wholeheartedly believing dumb stereotypes.
âyouâre committing a crimeââ
âthe house is abandoned! no one gives a shit!â he threw his arms up. âbabe câmon iâm serious itâs getting late and weâre losing time.â
why wasnât he listening?
âwhat are you looking for anyways?â you mumbled.
âmoney.â he replied, grabbing his black bag and swinging it over his shoulder. âthatâs literally it i wonât take anything else.â
âdo you swear?â you peered up at him. âdonât take jewelry or any of their things just money and we get out.â
âyeah we wonât! right guys?â
rin looked over both of his shoulders to ensure that his friends agreed, them muttering and sighing as you gnawed at the inside of your cheek and feeling embarrassed for some reason, slowly standing and crossing your arms.
you never liked his friends.
âand leave me out of it okay?â you spoke. âwe could get kicked out of college for this i donât know how youâre not worriedâŠâ
he swung a heavy arm around your shoulders and nudged you on, you stumbling a bit as he basically had a lock around your neck on your way outside.
âtheyâre not gonna care y/n.â he dismissed, unlocking the car and his friends piling in the back while you settled in the passenger seat. ânobody will. itâs abandoned.â
the entire way there you were aggravated and guilty, rin and his friends babbling on about the valuable things theyâd hope to find and the kind of ghosts they thought would appear, not a single person in the car an actual believer of those paranormal rumors as they poked fun and teased, your forehead against the glass of the window and miserable as rin drove up the steep hillâ the night chilly and so dark that you could barely make out the shape of the house until you were just about to pull up to the driveway.
rin turned off his headlights and tuned down the radio to avoid drawing attention, steering wheel shifting a little to the right so the car could gradually round over and stop next to the front steps of the porchâ rin shutting off the ignition once he parked and stuffing his keys into his pocket.
and you could immediately feel a presence even from outside the house, your arms stiff and tingly as you all quietly got out of the car and made your way to the stairs, dry dirt crinkling beneath your shoes as you tried to swallow back your nerves knowing that at any moment you could all be fucking arrested.
âare you sensing ghosts?â rin whispered, a sly teasing grin on his face as the floorboards of the porch creaked with your movements, his hand reaching and jiggling the doorknob.
âyeah.â
his eyes snapped over to you. ââŠreally? yeah right.â
âno iâm serious.â you whispered back. âwhat did you bring me for if youâre not even gonna believe when i tell youââ
âokay! okay iâm sorry.â he apologized, though it didnât seem genuine as he patted your back. âi believe you trust me.â
âwaitâ she said thereâs ghosts?â one of his friends piped up. âhow do you know?â
you went to answer but rin beat you to it.
âsheâs a psychic⊠i guess.â he unzipped his bag and pulled out a mini tool kit, a mix of screwdrivers and bobby pins inside. âshe can sense them.â
âoh my godâŠâ another one mumbled, all of his friends eerie now. ârinâ i thought you said those rumors were bullshit.â
your eyes narrowed. âyou said that?â
âno!â i mean, technically yes butââ he took two bobby pins from the kit and put the rest of the box away, hunching down to lock pick the knob. âyou guys really think any of that is real? itâs just the neighbors man theyâre boredââ
âpeople here donât just make up rumors like that rin.â you cut him off. âthe majority of winter river is elderly and in retirement why the fuck would they be making upââ
âbecause theyâre old and boredââ
the lock released a prominent click and rin tested the doorknob again, this time it turning all the way and opening as he pushed it wide, you all proceeding cautiously and it somehow being colder inside than it was outside as the group shined their flashlights around every corner and space, not bothering to tell your boyfriend that the presence you felt earlier was ten times stronger now, for rin never really believed you or just thought you were being funny whenever you mentioned things like that to him.
you had known rin since the start of college, him always the rebel dickish type as he didnât follow directions or liked whenever people tried to tell him what to do, and how you ended up crossing paths with him and it sticking was something that was a mystery to you.
rin was everything you wanted at first.
and though he was a bit selfish, you foolishly looked past the fact and let him meddle his way into your already monotonous life, it being hard for you to make friends in the first place because of your psychic abilitiesâ always feeling like something was missing and⊠vacant for years growing up without any explanation as to exactly why, figuring it was just the side effects of your parentsâ passing.
but it still didnât help when youâd accidentally partake in scaring off and weirding people out when you mentioned that you just saw their deceased relative wander by, rin being one of the first to actually stay because he didnât believe you, choosing to turn a blind eye to something you treasured about yourself the most, stuck and left to wonder if there was ever someone who did.
but turning a blind eye to just your psychic ability became him turning a blind eye to everything about you, and you felt like he never really listened to what you had to say or cared, often switching the topic back to himself or giving you a series of âmhmâsâ and âyeahâsâ to get you to move on.
you didnât feel seen anymore, but you loved him still for some reason.
âwhere do we even look?â one of his friends whispered, the lot of you traveling as a group through the entry room and down the hall to the kitchen.
âwherever you think a money bank would be.â rin mumbled, leading you all and going round to the living room, his flashlight shining over dusty furniture and spiderwebs. âi think itâd be better if we split up. half of us can take upstairs and the others can look through the kitchen, y/n and i are gonna dig through here for a bitââ
âwhat?â you spoke, his friends nodding and walking off to their designated areas. ârin no i told you iâm notââ
âoh my god babeâ would it really hurt you to just peek in some freaking drawers? let me know if something looks like it has money in it alright?â
he stepped over to the middle and crouched by the coffee table, opening and closing several compartments. âbe useful please.â
you scoffed. âyouâre the one who dragged me here and i told you i wasnât getting involved.â
âyouâre not.â he mumbled, standing back up and going over to a big brown dresser on the side. âjust look at shit and donât touch anything. tell me if you see money.â
you rubbed your cheek in exhausted frustration, thinking itâd be better to just mindlessly look around to appease him as you caught and stared at the photographs over by the fireplaceâ a wedding portrait of whom you assumed to be adam and barbara maitland propped up amongst others of family and friends, your fingers raising to gently wipe away the dirt and grime from the glass to get a clearer look of them.
you felt awful that their lives were taken from them just when they had built such a loving foundation for it, and you felt even more awful that rin and his stupid friends were invading their space and stealing in the way that they were with no sense of respect.
a sudden loud thud from upstairs made you and rin stop in your tracks, the both of you unmoving as you tried to listen.
âiâm gonnaââ you gnawed at your bottom lip. âiâm gonna check upstairsââ
âno absolutely not.â rin shook his head. âitâs probably just my friends itâs fine.â
âif itâs the maitlandâs your friends arenât gonna know what to do besides shit themselvesââ
âokay yeah sure.â he laughed, opening and closing different drawers from top to bottom. âitâs the house babe itâs old and worn out. maybe theâ wood or whatever is acting up.â
you pursed your lips, arms crossing and apprehensive as you stood next to him, knowing with everything in you that the maitlandâs were definitely still present.
âcan we please just go rin...â you asked softly. âplease weâllâ weâll find a different building thatâs actually abandoned and doesnât have the maitlandâs still hereââ
he scoffed. ây/n this one is abandoned.â
âbut itâs only been three months!â you exclaimed. âi donât wanna do this to themââ
ââoh sweet! thereâs a rolex in hereââ
âno!â you snatched the watch from his upheld hand and backed away towards the fireplace. âyou swore to me just money these are their thingsââ
ây/n theyâre dead! who fucking cares? all of their shitâs gonna be donated might as well pawn it.â
âyeah for your own benefit right?â you mumbled, pushing past him and walking down the hall. âiâm going home.â
he looked at you baffled. âare you serious? over a dumb watch?â
ârin youâve gone back on everything you promised and youâre not taking me seriouslyââ
âdid i take the watch? no i didnât so stopââ
âiâm not talking about just the watch!â
âyou know what?! fine!â rin shoved a hand in his pocket and pulled out his keys, chucking them at you and hitting against your chest as you scrambled to catch them. âgo wait in the car.â
you threw them back and they hit his upper arm, his eyes narrowing at you in return as he then bent down to grab them from the floor.
âiâm not waiting in the damn car iâm walking home.â
âyouâre walking?â he shook his head. âback to your dorm? thatâs gonna take you like an hour y/n.â
you shrugged.
âfine go i donât give a shit.â rin muttered and rolled his eyes. âyou always do this manââ
you didnât bother to stick around for anything else he had to say as you trudged on down the hall and back to the main entryway, tears brimming your eyes at the lack of care he had for you and scolding yourself for the thousandth time for staying with him, trying to understand why he was like this with you when all youâve ever done was be patient and give him the benefit of the doubt when he didnât fucking deserve it.
it was hard for you to tell if he even loved you anymore, and you always psyched yourself out that he did whenever heâd barely just accomplish doing the bare minimum.
upon arriving at the front door, you placed the rolex gently on a lonesome night stand by the coat hanger, your hand reaching and turning the knob to step outside until another loud thud shook through the walls, and louder this time as you pulled back and craned your head to look up the stairs.
muffled voices seeped from the top as they gasped and whispered to each other to shush, you recognizing some to be rinâs friends with irritation and worry simmering in your brain, wondering if they were messing with the maitlandâs things and stealing what they werenât supposed to steal, as they were just as uncaring and selfish as rin was throughout the time that youâve gotten to know them.
and with that in mind, you let go of the doorknob and quietly walked up the stairs, every creak and groan from the wooden slabs underneath your feet making you wince as you went further and further until you reached the top, you sighing as you saw that the maitlandâs room door was wide fucking open and with snickering inside.
but with each step that you took to get closer⊠the more prominent the goosebumps on your arms became and the heavier the feeling in your gut grew, a strange apparent flickering light from your right blinding your vision for a moment as you stopped and turned to look.
your eyes slightly widened, a neon lime green foggy light practically oozing from the attic staircase as it streamed over half of your frame, luring you in with your body mindlessly and curiously walking towards it and up the rugged squeaky stairs, fingers quickly reaching up to swing the attic door open and halting in alarm once you did, the green aluminous light from earlier completely encasing you entirely now as you stepped forward inside the attic.
the door swung and slammed itself shut suddenly, you jumping and spinning around with hurried hands coming up to pull and tug at the knob, breathing irregular upon realizing that it wouldnât fucking budge and was somehow jammed with no explanation as to exactly howâ
âboyfriend troubles?â
âoh my god!â you screamed, hand flying over your heart as your eyes snapped to the source, a tall lanky man standing there with a little grin and vibrant pale blue eyes that only utterly confused you, his vertically stripped black and white suit peculiar and unique as your frantic eyes darted over his figure.
you knew for a fact that the strange man before you wasnât adam maitland, for the way he looked now didnât match the pictures you saw in the newspapers at all, you swallowing thickly and slowly backing up against the attic door with your heart dropping straight down to your ass.
who the fuck was he? was heâ was he a spirit? because if not thereâs a random man literally just basking and relaxing inside theâ
ârelax! relax jeez you look like youâre about to vomit sweets.â
sweets?
âare you dead?!â you blurted, hand scrambling behind you for the doorknob. âare youâ are you alive how are youââ
he laughed loudly and wiggled his little index fingerâ scrunching it up and down to elicit a âyesâ and finding your skittishness a little funny.
âyup! so dead very dead.â
âoâ oh⊠okay...â you spoke softly, tense shoulders gradually relaxing as you gave him a small timid smile, relieved that he wasnât a freaking squatter and doing god knows what up in the attic.
âyou seem happier to see a dead man rather than a live one...â he looked at you amusedly. âyou like ghosts? scary stuff? haunted houses? handsome me?ââ
you nearly choked on your spit at his last comment, an awkward smile wobbling across your face as you played with your fingers.
âiâ i um..â you looked around, your eyes catching a book titled âhandbook for the recently deceasedâ sitting neatly on a dusty table by the door. âyou could say that.. butââ
you hesitated, the manâs head tilting to the side as he waited for you to continue.
âbut what pretty?â
you blushed furiously, never having met a spirit so forward before.
âsorry butâ how did you end up here?â you stood on your tippy toes to peer over his shoulders and around the attic. âand where are the maitlands?â
âoh, those lousy goodie two shoed meanies?â he mumbled, pouting and bitter as he crossed his arms. âbeats me..â
you laughed a little, guard slowly coming down as he didnât seem or feel like a bad person to you, and you thought that perhaps he was in the same boat as the maitlands and was just trying to find his way to the other side.
âwhy are they meanies?â you smiled, and he reciprocated, arms falling to his sides.
âwellâ iâm kind of being held in the attic against my will by theâ holy shit wait!â
he threw his hands out in front of him and took quick stride full steps towards you, a wild excited expression on his face and you stiffening up again, backing up against the door.
âyou can help me!â
âhelp⊠you..?â you squeaked.
he vigorously nodded. âyeah! the butthead caseworkers down in the netherworld banned me from leaving the attic⊠but you can give me a little leg room in my contract sweets!â
netherworldâ caseworkersâ bannedâ
âhuh?!â you exclaimed, brows furrowed and utterly confused at everything he was fucking saying.
youâve only ever seen spirits from afar or casually talked to them about something fleeting before they went on their marry way, but never in your life have you met such a complex soul that was so animate and asking you for a favor straight off the bat⊠as spirits usually justâ knew what they were doing and eventually figured out how to get to the great beyond.
so the subject of caseworkers and the netherworld and whatever the fuck else he was rambling on about was something you were not familiar with.
âi did something they didnât like.â he gave you a boyish half smile. âso they did some ritual thing and now i canât leave the attic.â
you frowned. âwhy would they do that? what did you do?â
he waved you off and swung an arm around your shoulders, pulling you forward with him towards a huge 3D model in the center of the room that you barely just noticedâ intricate and detailed and colorful as your brain put two and two together and figured out that it was a model of the entire city of winter river.
âdonât worry about it! but i overheard juno telling her assistants not to say my name three times or else iâll be let out to roam around the houseââ
juno? whoâs juno?
ââand thatâs why i really need you sweets because iâm dying in this fucking attic⊠way more than i already am.â
you blinked at him. âiâve neverâ iâve seen spirits all my life and iâve never had any of them tell me about caseworkers? and juno? whoâs juno?â
âthe rule is that the land of the living isnât supposed to know.â he pursed his lips and dropped his arm from your shoulders, picking up the book that you had spotted earlier and passing it to you. âsays it in the handbook.â
you timidly took it from him and flittered through the pages, old and crinkly and a little worn out as the gist of the pages you saw was a guide for those beginning their post-livelihood and the steps they needed to do soâ from waiting rooms in the netherworld to being assigned a caseworker to help you out to the great beyond and so forth, your eyes falling on a particular page and catching specific line.
âlive people ignore the strange and unusual.â
they do. wrongfully they do.
and since people had been ignoring you out of fear your whole life⊠did that mean you were strange and unusual too?
âwhat?â the unknown man spoke, softly as his blue gaze switched between your solemn expression and the book, shifting his position to stand right next to you and see what you were looking at.
âoh sorry!â you laughed it off, closing the book and placing it down. ânothing i was justââ
ââlive people ignore the strange and unusual?ââ he repeated. âwhat about it?â
you shook your head and sent him a small smile. ânothing! i was just lookingââ
âjust because you can see spirits doesnât mean youâre strange or unusual.â
you stilled, eyes big as you watched the way he froze up over what he said, sheepishly relaxing after a moment and lifting an arm to pat over your head.
âsorry pretty. i can read and manipulate minds and i poked in yours...â he looked at you apologetically. âitâs another reason why they threw me in this shit hole.â
he dropped his hand then, a sincere glint in his eyes. âbut i mean it.â
âi donât knowâŠâ you mumbled, looking down and playing with the hem of your skirt. âiâve never really had friends because of it⊠and i feel like that book kind of confirmed what iâve been thinking.â
you quickly picked your head up. âoh butâ itâs okay! iâm okay iâm used to it spirits are nicer anyways and iâve always been alone soââ
âthatâs not true.â he mumbled.
your brows furrowed. âwhat do you mean?â
he funnily froze up again. âwhat do i mean what?â
âwhatâs not true?â
âoh! thatâ that spirits are nicer!â he quickly sputtered. âtheyâre assholes. all of them. every single one. including me!â
you giggled at his franticness and a smile spread across his face at that, endearing as he watched you slowly cheer up.
âpeopleâs ignorance doesnât define who you are sweets.â he spoke gently. âso donât give them that right. you look perfectly fine to me!â
your eyes softened, wondering what the hell this man did that made the caseworkers down in the netherworld ritual him into a contract, as you were convinced it wasnât even that bad at all and just straight up unfair, him being one of the kindest and silliest souls youâve probably ever had the privilege to come across.
âiâll help you.â
his eyes snapped to yours. âhuh?â
âiâll help you!â you spoke sweetly. âiâll say your name three times so you can leave the attic.â
âwhaâ really?!â he exclaimed excitedly, hands animatedly flying everywhere as they went from digging into his white locks to all over his suit and then thrown out to grip over your shoulders, shaking you as you giggled again. âholy shit will you actually?!â
âyeah! why not?â you grinned. âi donât think itâs right that youâre stuck up here all alone.â
âangel! angel! youâre an angel!â he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and stuffed your face into his chest, squishing you so fucking tight and honestly holding you way longer than he shouldâve, but you not minding one tiny bit as you hugged him back and smoothed a comforting friendly hand over his broad shoulders.
âwhatâs your name then?â you muffled against his suit. âso i canââ
âahhh fuck.â he muttered. âi forgot about one thing.â
you pulled back a little. âhm?â
âi canât tell you my name.â
âwhat?â you looked at him confusedly. âwhat do you mean? why not?â
âitâs part of the stupid contract sweets...â he sighed heavily. âbut i can give you clues! ooo!â like charades! ready?â
âoh! oâokay!â you nodded, him finally letting you go and stepping back.
âdonât freak out.â he grinned in a silly way. âiâm about to make things show up.â
your eyebrows furrowed. âmake things show up?â
he waved his hand and a life sized fucking black bug appeared out of nowhere, landing on one of the old wooden rocking chairs in the corner of the room as it wiggled its little legs and peered around, you screaming and flying behind the strange blue eyed man while he laughed loudly and looked over his shoulders for you.
âitâs okay! just a figment of your imagination is all.â he cheesed. âbut guess now!â
âguess what?!â you shrieked.
âwhat that is!â he pointed to the bug.
you peeked an eye out from his side, the bug still gross and horrifying as it wiggled itâs antennas.
âa bug!â
âwhat kind?â
âa beetle!â
âyes!â he nodded vigorously. âokay thatâs the first part!â
âyour name starts with beetle?!ââ
he waved his hand again and the bug disappeared, a carton of orange juice replacing it instead and floating in mid air, a shiny glass cup next to it as you amazedly watched it pour its bright orange contents into the cup without spilling a single drop.
ââŠorange juice?â you spoke softly, timidly coming around from behind him. âyour names beetle orange juice?â
ânot quite!â he made a drinking motion with his hand.
âbeetle drinking orange juice?â
he laughed. âno! youâre adding too many words pretty take some out.â
âbeetle drinking juice?â
ânope.â
âbeetle drinking orange?â
âcolder.â
âbeetlejuice?ââ
âyes!â he threw his hands out, eyes wild and excited. âyes that! and youâve already said it once now just two more timesââ
âbeetlejuice.â
âuh huh uh huhââ
âbeetleâ mmph!â
a pair of hands clasped over your mouth from behind you and pulled you back, you letting out a muffled scream as you thrashed and quickly pried their fingers away, you spinning around and fully expecting to see rin behind you with a shit eating grin and laughing in your face for scaring you.
except it wasnât rin.
it was the maitlands.
âdonât say his name honey.â barbara spoke first. âtrust me⊠donât.â
âi meanâ are we sure about this sweetheart?â adam looked at his wife. âmaybe he isnât all that bad⊠hell we donât even know for sureââ
barbara shook her head. âadam, did you not hear a word juno said? he was about to take advantage of that poor girl!â
take advantage?
you heard a scoff behind you and you turned around, a disgruntled and pissed off look on beetlejuiceâs face as he crossed his arms.
âjeez i know you donât like me but thatâs low.â he mumbled. âi wouldnât do something like that.â
your head turned back to barbara. âyou know who juno is?â
she nodded. âjunoâs our caseworker⊠we got assigned to her in the netherworld after we died.â
âtook us three months waiting in the waiting room until she finally got to us.â adam added, chuckling in humorous disbelief. âbut all she really did was nag at us and warn us about him.â
adam pointed behind you and you turned around again, beetlejuice bitterly looking to the side with his lips pursed.
oh god.
had he been feeding you nonsense this entire time?
âwarn about what.â you mumbled, and beetlejuice snapped his head in your direction with anxious eyes.
âjuno calls him a bio-exorcist.â barbara informed you. âhe tried to illegally cross over to the land of the living and bring himself back to life.â
your eyes bulged open. âback to life? how?â
âyou switch souls with someone else through a ritual.â adam piped in. âjuno says he attempted to trick and switch souls with somebody that was alive so he could terminate all who were living⊠and they didnât even know about it.â
âthatâs not true!â beetlejuice countered, utterly exasperated. âthe old hag made that up!â
he quickly walked towards you, taking your hands in his and looking at you pleadingly.
âplease sweets youâve gotta believe me i never wanted to kill anybodyââ
you ripped your hands away and glared. âso this entire time youâve been lying, playing some hopeless victim so you can poke into my head and find out shit about me to use to your advantage?ââ
âno! no iâ i havenât been lying about anything itâs juno!â
âjuno.â you repeated coldly. âand whatâs she lying about exactly.â
âabout killing the living!â he threw his hands out in emphasis. âshe literally pulled that out of her ass when her and her minions banned meââ
âand what about tricking that person to switch souls with you so you can come back?â
he faltered, words completely failing him and guilty eyes looking into yours so deeply that it nearly made you feel bad for yelling at him.
âthatâs⊠thatâs true.â
you let out a breath of disbelief and barbara put a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it gently and comfortingly as she looked at you with caring eyes.
âwe donât know what to believe either honey.â she began. âitâs a lot of he said she said⊠but itâs better to be safe. he tried to get us to say his name three times too in exchange for his help.â
you quirked a brow. âhelp? what do you guys need help with?â
âyour buddies downstairs.â adam sighed. âtheyâre stealing our things and just messing up the house⊠but weâve been watching you and we know youâve been trying to get them out and so have we⊠horrendously though.â
âoh my godââ you slapped a hand over your gaping mouth. âi totally forgot about them! iâm so so sorry oh my god i canât even begin to explain to you how embarrassing this is iâve been telling them to stopââ
barbara laughed and waved you off. âitâs alright! we know sweetheart. but weâre not frightening enough to scare them off whatsoever⊠so thatâs what we were trying to get his help for.â
âand i still can yâknowâŠâ he muttered. âeven though you hate me.â
âi donât hate you juno does.â she crossed her arms and leaned her weight on one side of her hip. âadam and i are lost we donât know whatâs going on and we canât even read that thing for the recently deceased.â
âweâre just trying to get them out of the house sonâŠâ adam finished off.
and in that moment you felt like you were the one responsible for this. that if you had bitched about it harder, even screamed at rin to get him to stop or damn near called the fucking cops on them so that this wouldnât be happening right now⊠the maitlands wouldnât have to suffer and struggle like this every waking day to protect their home and what rightfully still belonged to them even after death.
because the maitlandâs roaming around and producing shadows and figures and scaring the realtors and prospected buyers off wasnât just for shits and giggles⊠but to try and keep what was once theirs and feel a sense of normalcy for the life they once had.
that was their great beyond. their home.
âiâll get them to leave.â you smiled at barbara and adam. âi donât care if i literally have to start fist fighting with his friends this is so unfairââ
âwait! areâ are you sure sweets?â beetlejuice interjected worriedly. âyour boyfriendâs kind of nuts and i canât help you once you leave the atticââ
âiâm sure.â you mumbled, still bitter and annoyed at him. âcanât be anymore nuts than you basically trying to kill someone so you can prance around alive againââ
âi already apologized to the entire netherworld nation for that!â he argued. âbut if you ask me, if itâs so bad then they shouldnât have put the fucking instructions in the guidebook.â
âjuno says guidebook reveals to you what you want most.â adam spoke. âbecause barb and i didnât see a single page that had to do with that⊠mostly just tips on how to scare the living.â
beetlejuice closed his eyes exhaustedly and shook his head. âdoesnât matter. iâm not trying to trick anyone right now i just want to get out of this damn atticââ
he looked to you again. ââplease say my name three times pretty iâve poked in your boyfriends head and heâs looney i donât want you toââ
âiâll see you guys in a sec!â you walked over to the door and left a sputtering frustrated beetlejuice behind. âif nothing works iâll literally just take my boyfriends keys and drive the car down the hill, he freaks over that thingââ
your voice trailed off as you walked down the creaky stairs of the attic and down the hall of the second floor, the maitlands main bedroom coming into view as you tried to get a script together in your head as to what exactly you were gonna tell rin⊠but your footsteps quickening at the sound of loud yelling and laughing coming from inside the bedroom, sounds of glass shattering and moving furniture making you panic as you practically stumbled in from the doorway.
and your heart stopped, rin standing there with a crow bar in his hands that he got from who the fuck knows where, smashing multiple vases and porcelain jewelry cases and stuffing his pockets full of anything that looked shiny and valuable in his eyes, the mattress and blankets thrown over to the side and the mainlandâs things just completely ransacked as you took it all in.
ârin!â
he jumped and spun around, brows pinching upon seeing you standing there.
âwhat are you doing here? i thought you left?â
âwhat the fuck?!â you gestured to the broken shards on the floor and strewn about articles of clothing. âwhat the hell is wrong with you?!â
âcalm down babe itâs fine.â he turned and smashed another small jewelry case, you scoffing in response. âitâs all useless shit thatâs gonna dust overââ
âget out.â
he snorted. âuh huhââ
âiâm serious rin get out.â you spat. âall of you.â
âyeah like iâd listen to you.â he spoke harshly, eyes narrowed and sharp as he turned again. âgo wait in the fucking car or go homeââ
âiâm calling the cops.â
âwhat?!â
a series of protests and worrisome comments erupted in the air from the group, all thrown directly at a fuming rin as he chucked his crow bar to the sideâ it clattering on the wooden floor as he hastily trudged over to you and gripped your upper arm, yanking you with him and out of the room into the hallway by the stairs.
âwhat the fuck do you think youâre doing huh?â he spoke lowly and in your face. âembarrassing me in front of my friends like that?â
you shoved him off. âget out and find another building or iâm calling the cops rin.â
âyeah and if you do that iâm telling them youâre a shitty psychic medium so they can throw you in the shrink.â
your jaw dropped.
rin was being meaner than usual.
âwhy are you like this.â you mumbled. âi donât even know why iâm still with you youâre an asshole and youâre patheticââ
he got in your face again and grabbed your jaw, pressing you up against the railing of the staircase and damn near throwing you over as the edge of it dug into your lower back, your fingers gripping his arm and struggling to pull him away from you while his friends quietly gasped and silently watched in shock.
âpathetic? me?â he laughed humorously. âyouâre the one who doesnât have anything or anyone besides me and yet you still treat me like this you ungrateful bitchââ
ârin okay thatâs enough dude let her goââ
âyou wanna shut up? or do you wanna trade spots with her?â his fiery crazed eyes switched over to his friend, him only cowering under rinâs intense stare and shaking his head no, diverting his gaze and you still squirming and tugging for your freedom.
âgetâ off meââ
âor what?â he pushed you further back and your breath hitched, your feet off the ground now at this point as one of your hands shot out to grip the railing for support. âyou gonna call your ghost friends for help? go ahead i wanna see you do it you lyingââ
âbeetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice!â
a thunderous roar broke out into the air, actual lightning and black smokey fog spreading over the ceiling and around you as rin instantly let you go and looked around, all of his friends in a pure state of fear and alarm as they lost sight of each other amongst the suffocating mistâ including you as you frantically tried to look for a clear path out, unable to decide if you regretted what you had just done.
ânever seen a man with such a power trip!â a booming voice echoed through the house that you quickly recognized to be beetlejuiceâs, the walls vibrating with each word. âseems to me like itâs all bark and no bite!â
âwhat did you do y/n?!â you heard rinâs distant yelling from somewhere you couldnât pinpoint, the air cold and prickling at your skin. âwho did you call?!â
âa god!â beetlejuice excitedly answered. âachilles preferably! wait actually heâs a demigod not aââ
âwho the fuck is achilles?!â
the air cleared in the center suddenly and revealed a petrified rin, wide eyed and angry as he whipped his head around to try and figure out what was going on.
âyou donât know who achilles is?â half of beetlejuice popped out of nowhere from above the fog and his friends screamed at the mere size of him, for he wasnât the normal looking man you saw before but a borderline monsterâ huge and crazed as he looked down at rin in particular with a scary grin.
but his eyes were still a fascinating sparkling blue, oddly familiar in a way as you watched the scene before you through the black air, beetlejuice continuing.
âread a book your stupid is showing.â
he lunged while simultaneously popping his eyeballs out of their sockets with his tongue out, cartoonish and terrifying as his friends yelled for help and scrambled to try and leave, struggling though the smothering mist as you placed a hand over your mouth in shock.
beetlejuice sucked his eyeballs back in and blinked to adjust. âwhat? you guys scared too? shouldnât have been so mean to my little sweets over there then!â
they all looked to you and you froze, rinâs gaze narrowing.
âhis little sweets?â he clenched his jaw. âthe hells he talking about?â
beetlejuice didnât know why rin was so dumb for even attempting at getting near you again after everything he did and saidâ his footsteps quick and stompy towards you until he straight up smacked into an invisible wall and doubled back with a hand over his nose, your brows pinching in confusion.
you timidly reached a hand out, expecting your fingers to touch an invisible barrier except there wasnât one at all as they fell through completely over nothing, your arm slowly retracting back to your chest.
you looked up at beetlejuiceâs huge figure, and he gave you a bright cute smile that made your cheeks heat up.
âthis is bullshit!â rin roared, wiping his bloody nose with the back of his hand and pointing at you after. âyouâre a goddamn nutcase y/n! what kind of show are you putting on huh?!â
âme?!â you shot back. âmaybe you should stop being a dick for once in your life and listen when i tell you things you idiot.â
âyup!â beetlejuice quipped. âdoll if youâre still with him after all of this iâm gonna have to start haunting you in your dreams.â
your gaze switched to beetlejuice and you laughed, a little glint to his eye as he watched you shake your pretty head.
âi was gonna dump him the minute i got him out of the houseââ
âwhat?!â rin barked. âdump me? for what?!â
you scoffed. âare you serious? what do you mean for what?â
âfuckâ babe okay iâm sorry alright? iâm sorry iâm just a little overwhelmed right nowââ
âyouâre a sack of shit.â beetlejuice spat. âand call her babe again and iâll start the engine of your car and ram it through a tree.â
you snickered and rin swiveled around to face him.
âwhy donât you stay out of this freak and leave my girlfriend aloneââ
âsweets iâll make him go away if you marry me.â
you choked, flustered and stiff as you looked at him, bewildered out of your mind.
âhuh?!â
âpretty pleeaaseee.â he dragged. âyou saying my name got me out of the attic but not the house itself⊠but if you marry me iâm a free man!â
âhow does thatââ you let out a shocked breath. âhow does that even make senseââ
âmarry me.â
âbut i!ââ
âmarry me thatâs my condition.â
âhold on!ââ
rin dove at you with the full intention to grab you and pull you away, but eyes widening in terror as an invisible force practically grabbed his ankle and sweeped him back and away from you, dragging his body across the wooden floor and over to beetlejuice, his friends having enough of all of this and making a run for it down the stairs.
âoh! i almost forgot about you guys!â
beetlejuice nudged his head and they were sent flying back just like rin, all of them screaming and pleading for mercy as their bodies dragged across the floor and returned to him.
âwhich of you should i gobble up right now⊠iâm feeling the one on the far right! heâs trembling like a little leafââ
âplease no!â he cried. âiâllâ iâll do anything! iâll leave iâll neverââ
ââand iâll save rin for the very end⊠best for last right?!â
they all wailed and clawed at the foggy air, your body unmoving as you tried to figure out if beetlejuice was actually being serious.
âplease man!ââ
âiâm sorry iâm so sorry!ââ
âdonât apologize to me you doofuses.â another invisible force grabbed them all by the ankles and pulled them up, dangling them upside down. âapologize to her. then maybe iâll spare you⊠howâs that sound?!â
ây/n! please! iâm sorryââ
âweâre sorry dear god!ââ
ây/n!ââ
âputâ put them down!â you wavered. âthatâs enough itâs okay! jesus..â
âawww already?!â beetlejuice pouted. âbut i havenât even started swinging them around yet⊠like a little ferris wheel! heh.â
you slapped a hand over your mouth to suppress a laugh once rin and his friends started wailing in fear again, you shaking your head and smiling at him.
âitâs okay! next time! just let them go iâm sure theyâll runââ
ây/n, it seems like you understand me⊠youâre the only one that hasnât bitten my head off in the entire three years that iâve been dead!â
you laughed again. âiâm glad! now put them down pleaseââ
âso be my wife then.â
âbeetlejuice!â
âwhat?!â he whined. âyou donât wanna be my lawful wedded wife?â
âno!â wellâ justââ
âis it because iâm dead?â
âput them down and iâll consider it!â
âyes maâam!â
the invisible force dropped them and they slammed against the hardwood floors, each and every single one of them fumbling to get their things that flew out of their pockets while upside down and scurrying away, hurried footsteps stomping down the staircase as they tripped over their feet to get to and out the front door, you observing in amusement and slight guilt, leaning over the edge of the staircase to watch them go.
and the second that they did, the stuffy black fog lifted and felt immensely lighter, it dispersing into the air above you as it thinned out to a mere silly mist, cold and wet to the touch and similar to the air youâd feel after a long days worth of rainfall and cloudy weather, slow strides coming up from behind you as you saw beetlejuiceâs shiny raven leather dress shoes out of the corner of your eye, you standing upright and turning to him.
he smiled warmly at you.
âthank you.â you grinned, bashful as he reached and fixed up your hairâ hands smoothing over your head and down before his fingers lightly grazed and played with the ends of your strands.
âyouâre welcome.â he murmured. âthank you for getting me out of the attic sweets!â
you kindly nodded.
âsweetheart, are you alright?â
you looked back and saw the maitlands, barbara walking up with outstretched arms and pulling you in for a hug.
âthat boy was insane!â she pulled back and held you out at an arms length by the shoulders. âwe tried so hard to intervene while he was yelling at you but weâre useless⊠they couldnât see us.â
you giggled. âno itâs okay! really you didnât need to i wouldnât ever wanna put you guys in that position.â
âhoneyâ he almost pushed you off the railingâŠâ adam spoke softly. âif you hadnât called for beetlejuice lord knows what he wouldâve done⊠he was so aggressive and we were worriedâŠâ
your heart warmed, never in your life having been so cared for and looked afterâ funnily enough that you were receiving that sacred feeling from beings that were dead rather than living and it reminding you a little bit of the way your parents were with you when you were young, when they were still alive.
âweâre sorry for being so hard on you kidâŠâ barbara sighed, gaze shifting to beetlejuice. âmistakes happen. iâm sure your passing was something you werenât expecting like us.â
âoh! no itâs okay donât.â he smiled brightly. âi almost killed a man i understand.â
âbut we understand too.â adam added, and you felt like he was also referring to something you had no clue about as he had a particular look in his eyes, something that was only amongst them three. âi wouldâve considered the same.â
beetlejuice swung an arm around your shoulders and looked down at you.
âso are you my little wife?â
âokayââ barbara laughed. ânot that you know thisââ
âadam! barbara!â
a sudden shriek boomed through the house and beetlejuice instantly pulled you behind him, waving his hand and an invisible force sending you further away until your back gently bumped against the wall, panic rising in your chest as the same black fog from earlier returned and swirled around you, blocking your vision.
was he⊠was he hiding you? what for?
âjuno!â beetlejuice greeted, laughing awkwardly. âheyy long time no see!â
oh.
âzip it bozo.â
from the cracks and openings that you could see through the whirling wind, a proper old lady in professional office attire stood there with her arms crossed, a pissed off look on her face as she tapped her heel against the floor and played with the pearls around her neck.
âwhat did i tell you two about letting him free?â she scolded. âheâs a loose cannon! heâs not to be trusted!â
âi know i know weâre sorry⊠we just really needed to get those kids out! and theyâre gone! and beetlejuice seems alright!â barbara looked to her husband, a desperate flicker in her gaze. âright adam?â
âyes! uh uh!â adam stepped forward and sighed softly. âplease juno⊠heâs just a kid. heâs learned and what he did was three years agoââ
âwhat he did couldâve cost me my job and set my entire office up in flames.â juno lectured, pointing her wrinkly finger at beetlejuice next. âyou broke a million undead laws and have hundreds of violation codes on your record. your punishment was to stay in the attic for eternity.â
eternity?
oh god no.
âbut now iâm gonna have to send you to live inside mr. maitlandâs winter river model and you better stay there!â
âwhat?!â beetlejuice scoffed. âjuno please thereâs gotta be a way i can lift those violations?â
âiâm afraid there isnât.â she seethed.
âpretty please?â
âno.â
âwith a cherry on top?â
âabsolutely not.â
ânot even probation?ââ
ânot even probation! youâre gone!â
your eyes blew open as you watched juno extend an arm out and move it to the side, a bright white blinding light encasing her entire figure and you quickly pushed a hand through the black fog and grabbed the back of beetlejuiceâs suit, everything around you scarily blurring out and disappearing and you squeezed your eyes shut, arms reaching out to wrap around his upper torso as you buried your face in his back.
you didnât want him to go⊠not at all. and the thought of him stuck inside a model forever like that all alone terrified you.
you understood why he was punished in the first place, but why couldnât juno just see that he was good? that all he was trying to do was come back to life and live? something many other souls would also kill for?
hadnât he been punished enough already? he stood stuck in that attic for three god damn years straight with no means of escape whatsoever, and now he was shamefully being sent to live inside a styrofoam cardboard model that was far worse than that stupid attic, for now he couldnât be seen by anyone even if he truly wanted to be.
had that not been enough? enough of a sign to reconsider his contract?
why couldnât he just be given a second fucking chanceâ
âpretty?â
you opened your eyes, forehead quickly detaching from his back and looking up, his piercing blue eyes staring down at you worriedly from behind as he shifted his body a little in your hold to face you.
âwhat are you doing here i thoughtââ his surprised gaze shifted over to the way you were clutching onto him, and he relaxed, smiling a little.
âyou grabbed me baby?â
âiââ you let him go and stepped back, your cheeks a vibrant pinky shade. âyâyeahâŠâ
he turned around fully.
âwhy?â
âbecauseââ you bit your bottom lip, peering cutely up at him.
âbecause i thought we were getting marriedâŠâ
beetlejuiceâs expression dropped and he stared at you wide eyed, his face reddening at your words.
âi donâtâ i donât understandââ
âwhat?â you giggled. âi thought you proposed to me earlier?â
âi did! yes i did!â he rapidly nodded. âbutâ but are you actually serious?â
you nodded. âmhm! i am!â
âyou can say no sweets honestly itâs okayâŠâbeetlejuice spoke softly with pinched brows. âiâll cry myself to sleep and shrivel up but i can handle it donât worry about meââ
you laughed and nudged his shoulder with yours. âi wanna marry you⊠i wanna set you free.â
you walked over to a little bench, the feeling of you stepping on rubber and glue a little weird under your feet as you sat down and smiled, gently patting the spot next to you.
âiâm not letting you stay here forever by yourself, not when youâve been doing that already for years.â you murmured, him taking a seat next to you with a yearn-full but apprehensive face.
âyou deserve to do the things you want to do and see the things you want to seeâŠâ you looked at him so sincerely and loving that he felt his undead heart throb. â⊠and if i can help you in anyway to get you there i donât care what it is. i canât think of anyone more deserving of freedom than you.â
âyouâre so pureâŠâ he softly took your hand, yours warm and pumping in comparison to his cold and stiff one. âyou always have been.â
he stared at your hand still, his index finger delicately tracing over the faint markings of your working veins underneath your skin, trying to remember what they looked like on him when he was alive, and if they ever looked as precious as yours did.
beetlejuice raised your hand and kissed it, eliciting a fuzzy blush to your cheeks.
âi think weâre meant to be.â
you faltered slightly, for you felt a rush of deja vu hit you like a stifling wave.
âhave we met?â you teasingly asked. âbefore you died?â
he laughed and shook his head.
you sat in comfortable silence for a moment, beetlejuice still tracing the lines and indentations of your hand before you spoke up again.
âi have a question.â
his content eyes switched to yours before they looked back down. âyes sweets?â
âis your name really beetlejuice?â
he weirdly stopped, and you quirked a brow.
âitâsâŠâ he swallowed. âitâs not.â
âoh what the?â you paused, a little puzzled. âwhere did it come from?â
âjuno.â he snickered. âthe old hag said it fit how bizarre and stupid i was, so she put it in my contract.â
âoh my fucking god.â you mumbled. âwhy the hell would she do that? thatâs cruel⊠youâve already paid the price for what you did the least she could do is address you by your given name.â
beetlejuice laughed cutely, his eyes twinkling as he looked at you.
âthat woman doesnât care baby⊠so donât sweat it.â he lifted a hand and ruffled your hair. âand if you ask me, she needs to retire immediately. likeâ yesterday. all she does is fucking nag at me and the rest of her damn clients.â
you giggled.
âso whatâs your name then?â
ânot important! now i say we figure out a way to get out of this rinky dink modelââ
your eyes narrowed.
âwhy wonât you tell me your name?â
ââor maybe we should just stay and make ourselves at home!ââ
âyou wonât tell your soon to be wife your name?ââ
ââoh! oh! i can manifest a little jacuzzi in the middle of the cemetery thatâs neatââ
you slapped a hand over his mouth and he stopped, your pleading little eyes making him guiltily melt against your hold.
âyour name.â you urged softly, lowering your hand and revealing a little frown that he had on his lips. âplease.â
âiââ he blinked, utterly remorseful. âi canât⊠i canât tell you my name.â
your brows pinched. âwhy not? is part of your contract?â
ânoâ well yes.â he sighed deeply through his nose, and you wondered why he looked so⊠strained.
âitâs not their contract, but my contract⊠with you.â
you froze.
âwithââ you struggled. âi donâtââ
he rubbed his tired sunken eyes.
âitâs okay sweets but thatâs all you need to knowââ
âno.â you replied firmly. âwhat i need to know is your name.â
he dropped his arms and shook his head desperately. ây/n please i put that contract on you to protect you ifâ if i tell you my name youâll be hurt and i donât want thatââ
âwhat do you mean?â you bitterly scooched away from him on the bench and he stubbornly moved closer, eliminating the distance you had created.
âi lied when you asked me if we had met.â
your heart dropped.
âbecause we have⊠and iâ i wanted you to forget me so i took away your memories and if i tell you my nameââ
he swallowed hard.
â⊠itâll break the contract. and youâll remember me again.â
you stared at him, his regretful tortured gaze so anguishing that it was almost unbearable to watch him endure it, wanting to mend it instead, something that already felt so right and easy to you and in no way shape or form unfamiliar.
slowly, you reached up and cupped his cold cheeks in your hands, bringing his forehead to rest against yours.
âbut i want to remember youâŠâ you murmured. ââŠplease let me.â
his pupils worriedly shook as they darted all around your striking features, his name practically hanging off the edge of his tongue but his throat physically unable to get the words out, for his dead heart was pulling and fighting with his vocal chords to prevent him from doing so, everything within him wanting to save you from memories he had to live with even after death.
but the other part of him was filled with such intense longing for you that it effortlessly slipped between the cracks of his defensive wall of not telling you his nameâŠthe relentless feeling going straight to his heart and mind and strangling the fuck out of it to get a formidable yes instead.
he wanted the life he once had. more than anything.
âsatoru.â
something snapped in your brain and you flinched back, memories flooding through your mind faster than the speed of light as you recollected each and every moment in your existence, for the sentiment of vacancy and like a specific thing was just missing in your life was finally put back in its rightful placeâ for the thing that was missing in particular was him.
satoru gojo.
there were images of meeting him when you were both itty bitty in middle school under a magnolia tree, him sporadic and silly and making you laugh so hard on the third day of school that strawberry milk blew out of your nose and all over his clothes, satoru not having a care in the world as he cackled along with you and thought the way you made liquid come out of your nose was cool.
and there were images of the both of you becoming the best of friendsâ never one without the other as you pulled pranks on your teachers and ended up in detention together almost everyday, your parents utterly done with you as you never seemed to get it through your head how to behave, the both of you brushing off your scoldings and lectures because you had each other to endure all of it with.
and you saw how much he cared about you.
how he would physically fight and yell and reprimand anyone who called you a freak, anyone who spread rumors about you and your psychic medium abilities as he constantly reminded you everyday that your gift was sacred⊠a treasure while he wiped your tear stained cheeks and cheered you up after another day of your classmates poking fun at you, him saying that your skills were the coolest and how much he wished he was just like you, how much you both were meant to be as he loved ghost stories and scary stuff.
you saw how you fell in love too.
and it didnât take long either, as your stolen glances and teasing turned into much more as soon as you grew and went to high school together, the both of you making it official literally your freshman year despite the apprehensions from your parents on both sides because of how young you were.
but it never proved to be an issue, you and satoru not once stumbling over a hiccup since the two of you had built such a strong foundation of genuine friendship and care before you blessedly fell in love, satoru throughout your years together absolutely smitten over you as he always passed you silly notes during class that had a gazillion hearts scribbled all across with your name in the middle, telling you all of the time just how much he loved and cherished you to the point where you had to funnily push him away from you to get him to stop smothering you, you always giving in anyways due to the fact that you were just as smitten, physically unable to go a day without him, and him still physically unable to not iterate how you were meant to be.
satoru understood you, satoru listened to you, and satoru believed you whenever you would speak on your psychic gift and how you had spoken casually to a spirit just the other day, him always interested and unbelievably amazed at everything you had to say as he bombarded you with fifty questions and begged you to teach him how to see spirits too.
he was respectful and supportive of you through it all.
especially when your parents died.
satoru wouldnât leave your side. he refused to as you tried to piece together what the fuck had just happened, their accident so sudden and weird that it never made sense to you and still didnât to this day.
and you grieved of course, cried and weeped and clung to satoru like a moth to a flame, feeling alone and without your biggest support systemâ without your loving peculiar parents that gave you your priceless gift in the first place, him accepting your tears with open arms as he encouraged you to let it all out and was worried for you when it seemed like you had moved on rather quickly from it.
but it was simply because your parents werenât afraid of the afterlife. it was because your parents had talked so much about it and taught you everything that they knew, that you were convinced their souls peacefully made it through to the great beyond straight away and together, for you never saw their spirits roaming around aimlessly after and feeling eternally grateful for that, your whole life being about acknowledging and embracing the mysteries of life after death.
the knowledge of knowing they were at peace was enough to get you by for a little while.
satoru continued to check in on you about it though... even when it was the end of your junior year and nearing a year since their passing, his parents kindly taking you in after the ordeal and making satoru sleep on the floor and you taking over his bed since they didnât have an extra room, satoru doing it without even needing to be told and you thanking all of them any chance you got for their amicable kindness and tried to pay them back, satoru checking in on you every night with a series of timid âare you okayâsâ and âare you happyâsâ before going to bed, your arm dangling off the edge so you could intertwine your fingers while you slept.
you were never alone like you thought you were. ever.
because of satoru.
and he made it obvious that he wanted to marry you too, that he wanted to have you for the rest of his life and didnât give a single shit if you were both only 18 and barely starting college, him deeming it pointless for the both of you to pretend like the hope of marriage wasnât there just for the sake of shutting up his parents, as every time he brought it up you stammered and blushed and fidgeted and he only giggled at you, telling you it would happen soon, to be ready, and to sit pretty and patient until the right time came.
except it never did.
because satoru gojo died a year later following that on halloween, precisely on his way over to your dorm when he was snatched by an unknown man and murdered in the middle of the night, you stuck wondering what had happened to him and why he wasnât answering the phone when he was hours late to come get you, your chest on fire and aching as the feeling in your gut was weirdly excruciating, a part of you completely torn away and lost and you had no idea why until the very next morning.
and he had to watch you mourn. properly this time and not at all like the way you did for your parents, as this time it was fucking worse, painfully and all alone and for no way for him to get to you and comfort youâ to tell you it was okay to cry and that he loved you, to tell you to be happy, to be hopeful for the future and hopeful to the thought of spending the rest of your lives together and being meant to be.
but instead he had to watch you wail and scream in your pillow every night with no saving, clutching his clothes and things and picture frames, you making yourself sick as the grief was too much to bareâ everything that your parents had said to you and taught you about the afterlife meaning absolutely jack shit as the workings of supposed fate took away the only thing that ever made you happy.
satoruâs dream was to live with you. and it was taken away from him so brutally that he went absolutely nuts in the netherworld.
because yes he violated every single fucking undead law in the book and jumped over restricted gates and strange passage ways and doors, shoved through emotionless security guards, ignored junoâs warnings, and yes he tricked a living human being so he could exchange souls with himâ
all for the sole purpose of getting back to you.
it was always for you.
and now, him sitting next to you with an anxious waiting expression, your body and mind now feeling the effects of not having seen him for three entire years and the way your conscious mind grieved for him and his return, his skin sickishly pale and cold but still so handsome nonetheless⊠absolutely broke you.
it broke you as you let out a strangled hiccup and covered your mouth tightly with both hands, eyes squeezing painfully shut as you reeled over and wailed with a broken heart, for you were mourning the loss of him all over again.
âbaby no pleaseââ he quickly caught you and brought you to his chest, his breathing erratic and with the biggest lump in his throat. âsee? i didnât want you to remember iâ i wanted you to forgetâ
you continued to bawl and borderline scream out in agony, his words meaning absolutely nothing at this moment as your mind wouldnât quit flashing painful memories through your mind, memories that were once entirely missing as they suffocated you with displays of satoru in his grave over and over and over again.
âi canâtââ he frantically looked around for something, anything that would make you feel better before looking back down. âlook at meââ
âwhy did you leave?!â you wailed, pushing him away as the sight of you drowning in your tears ripped him to shreds. âwhy did you abandon me toru?! why did youââ
âiâm sorââ his voice gave out and he placed a hand over his heart, tears slipping from his eyes. âiâm sorry iâm so sorry iâ i never wanted to leaveââ
he reached out and tugged you in again, your body slumping against his as he struggled over his sobs.
âi didnât want to die i tried so hard not to dieââ
his words only made you cry harder as he gripped you tighter and shut his mouth, his frame trembling against yours and his tears trickling down and wetting your hair.
âyou left me! you were supposed to comeâ hicâ to come get me! you were supposed to marry me!ââ
you were babbling mindlessly at this point, your shattered heart taking over the words that were tumbling out of your mouth as you gripped and clawed at his suit, trying to bury yourself in his skin and stay there where you belonged.
he was too cold. and you couldnât hear a heart beat.
satoru could only cry and bawl with you as he gently rocked you side to side, knowing that there was nothing he could do to make you feel better, and nothing he could do to come back to life.
no matter how much he wanted it.
no matter how much you wanted it.
this is what fate had decided for the two of you.
âi tried so hard.â he mumbled. âi never stopped trying to get to you thatâs why juno hates me so much because iâve violated fucking everything.â
he pressed his lips to your forehead and laid his cheek on it after.
âi got sent to the attic and i couldnât look after you anymore and i didnât even get the chance to let you see me eitherââ
besides the fact that he took your memories, that explained why you never saw his spirit after he died, and you quickly pulled back again and narrowed your bloodshot eyes at him.
âwhy did you take my memories i neverâ hic!â i never asked you to i never wantedââ
âbecause i didnât want you to grieve over me prettyâŠâ he gently wiped your cheeks while you cried. âyou were hurting so much and it was torture watching you suffer like that.â
you sniffled and wiped your eyes with the base of your palm.
âi wanted to see you happyâŠâ satoru finished off.
âwas i?â
he dropped his hands and frowned.
âwere you?â
âno!â you muttered. âmy entire life iâve felt like something was missing and i didnât know why⊠like thisâ this block in my brain that i couldnât figure out and it was always just empty and like something was supposed to be there.â
you tucked your hair behind your ear and solemnly looked down, a pulsing headache racking through you from how much you were crying.
âi had to live with the fact that i was alone and that i never had anyone⊠and i had accepted that too⊠only this entire time i did have someone. you.â
and oddly enough, through everything that happenedâ all of the memories that you now remembered and the devastating death of your late boyfriend, you finally felt a little bit less strange and unusual.
because you always thought that something was wrong with you for feeling the way that you did, for craving somethingâ someone that never existed, for wanting to fill the void that you now know satoru once happily sat in, all of these things now officially clicking into place and bringing you the weirdest sense of peace you had probably ever felt.
âi wish you never made me forget.â you mumbled. âyouâre worth remembering toruâŠ. even if it hurts me.â
he guiltily nodded and sniffed. âmâsorry⊠i thought you were better off forgetting.â
a part of him still does, because the small glimpses he caught of you no longer crying and just simply living after he took your memories away, was enough to bring him a tiny sense of relief just before he got banished to the attic, hopeful that you would live a long and happy life even if it was painfully without him.
but the minute he sensed you coming up to the house earlier that night with him thinking he was going absolutely insane and if it was truly you, was also enough to send all of that out the fucking window and falling back into a pit of despair and longing for you when he finally saw you againâ for the first time in three years, looking just as pretty as he remembered and a little more grown up.
you slowly shook your head side to side, lifting your arms to wrap around his neck and him immediately responding, snaking them around your waist and pulling your warm beating body flush against his chest.
âdo you still love me?â he murmured. âeven though iâm dead?â
you slightly snorted, softly kissing his cheek.
âiâll always love you toru. wherever you are.â
âiâll always love you.â
he pulled back and gently smiled, eyes flickering to your soft lips as he juggled in his mind if it was okay to kiss you, every fiber of his undead being begging for it after missing and wishing it for so long, left with only recollections of your kisses to suffice through the years that he spent without you and wondering if he still had the right toâ since even though you were once his, and he shamelessly still considered you his, he didnât know if you were on the same page.
but you were.
it would be stupid not to be.
you leaned your pretty little face closer to his, timid doe eyed gaze looking at him so fondly that it brought back that same familiar feeling he felt with you those years ago, his hands coming up and settling themselves on your warm lively cheeks, holding you like fragile porcelain.
but were his dead lips still worthy of yours? even after everything heâd done?
âtoru.â
he hummed.
âdo you remember our first kiss?â
âuh huh.â he breathed out softly. âit was in my room.â
âi thinkââ your nose brushed with his. âi think we should have our second first kiss.â
he bit his bottom lip and smiled.
âyou think so?â
âi do.â
he hummed again, his thumb gently grazing over your plushy lips.
âi think it should look a little more like the first time.â
he tilted his head to the side a tiny bit and a delicate gust of wind brushed through your hair, your surroundings now completely and miraculously morphed into his room with the both of you sitting on his bedâ just like how you remembered it and basically had grown up in as you slowly took in your surroundings.
âhow the fuckââ
he laughed a little, lifting one hand and keeping the other still on your cheek, his index finger lightly tapping the center of your forehead.
âmind manipulation pretty.â he grinned. âcool huh? i poked in your head again.â
âyeah!â you giggled. âvery cool.â
âyou know what else would be cool?â
âwhat?â
âif you gave me a little kiss.â
you tilted your head to the side and leaned in again, your breath fanning across his face and your lips so close but not quite that it was fucking excruciating.
âyou want a kiss toru?â
âuh huh.â
âhow badâ mmph!ââ
satoru didnât even let you finish that sentence as he stuffed his tongue in your mouth greedily, wet and messy kisses smacking through the room as he cradled your jaw, cold lips delving all over yours and him giddy over the sensation of your warm mouth in comparison to his, your hands clutching his blazer and making out so sensually as you made up for the time that was stolen from you.
and the only thing the two of you felt in each others arms then was serenityâ one pumping, working heart and the other stiff, unmoving and cold, still equally beating for one another even through the restrictions of death, for satoruâs heart continued to move and love you regardless of how lifeless it may have appeared.
he suddenly pulled away, breathless.
âsweets?â
âyeah?â
âwhere in the actual fuck did you meet rin?â
you laughed, pulling back a bit to look at him with a regretful look. âknowing what i know now, iâm sick to my stomach toru.â
âdid you meet him after i died?â
you nodded. âhe was in one of my literature classes⊠and since back then i only remembered living my lifeâ alone, i guess he was the first person that didnât make me feel that way. at the start.â
âlame.â he mumbled. âyou cheated on me sweets.â
âno!â you laughed again, giving him a little pout. âhe was awful. horrendous. and i only stayed because i didnât wanna be alone again⊠even though i shouldnât have.â
you leaned and gave him a soft tiny lingering peck.
âdid you love him?â he murmured against your lips, and you shook your head.
âremembering you again made me realize what being in love with someone was supposed to feel like.â you reached and brushed through the front stands of his white hair mindlessly. âand it was no where near what i felt for rin. i didnât feel anything for him actually.â
he pursed his lips to the side, eyes squinting in thought and distaste.
âhmmmâŠâ
you giggled. âwhat toru?â
he hated that you got associated with a guy like that, and hated even more that rin was kissing and hugging and touching you whenever the fuck he wanted when you were his first.
âiâm gonna haunt him for the rest of his life.â
you playfully rolled your eyes and nudged him. âhonestly? do it. he sucks.â
âand you know what else sweets?â
you quirked a little brow. âwhat?â
âiâm gonna make you forget!â
âtoru!â you giggled. âno more taking memorââ
satoru leaned his face closer to yours and you froze up, wide eyed as a little mischevious glint in his vibrant blue gaze made you fidget.
he slowly grinned and tilted his head, lips coming closer to the side of your ear and tantalizingly hovering, arms snaking around your torso and pulling you up against him.
âdid you let him touch you pretty?â
âtâtouch?ââ
âmhm.â he gripped you a little tighter. âdid you?â
âum.â you squirmed a bit, your body turning hot in the matter of seconds. âwhatâ what do you meanââ
âdid you let him fuck you.â
your breath hitched and your cheeks went pink, hands timidly resting flat on his chest and feeling a little⊠guilty.
âmaybeââ you paused, shaky breaths blowing through your nose. âmaybe onceââ
satoru shot up to stand and hauled you with him, a squeal slipping past your lips as he hiked you up and brought your legs around his waist, walking across the room in quick strides and plopping you down roughly on his desk, kicking away his chair and it slamming against the wall as it rolled back.
âtoru?ââ
âwhy canât i make you forget⊠hm?â he grazed his lips from your jaw and up the side of your cheek, feather like as he squeezed and kneaded at your thighs, your heart fucking hammering against your chest.
âwhy would you wanna remember being with someone else other than me babyâŠâ
âiâ i donât but you erased my memoriesââ
he pulled back and tutted, head shaking and fingers drumming against your thighs. âdoesnât matter! shouldâve avoided them like the plague silly.â
you giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck, tugging him gently in.
âi wouldâve if i remembered.â
âremember this remember thatââ he smiled brightly and brought his face close to yours once more.
âyâknow what?â he cutely pecked your lips. âiâm gonna help you remember something!â
your brows pinched momentarily in curiosity. âwhat?â
âthat iâm the only man that ever gets to fuck you.â
satoru smashed his lips against yours and pulled you in tight, the bulge in his dress pants abundantly obvious as he grinded and rutted his aching cock on your clothed pussy, you gasping in his mouth at the feeling as you tried to keep up with his feverish fast kisses.
he slipped his icy hands underneath your top and you jumped at the change in temperature, satoru ravishing you up and obsessed with the heat your body produced and radiated, leaving him toasty for once and bringing a faux sense of life to him.
âdid you forget that too?â he murmured against your lips, hands ever so slowly creeping up and sliding under your bra to grope your plump tits. âhow i feel?â
ânuh uh.â you breathed out. âi didnâtââ
âtell me what you remember then sweetsâŠâ
he slid his hands back down and hiked your skirt up, you lifting your hips a little to help him bring it up as high as he possibly could, your pretty little panties tight and suffocating your pussy as his fingers came down to play with your swollen needy clit.
âi rememberââ your mouth hung open, words lodging in your throat.
âhm?â he shoved his hand in your panties and your eyes fluttered closed, him placing open wet mouthed kisses all over your neck and chest, your mind unable to grasp the amount of pleasure he was getting out with simply just his fingers, pleasure you missed so fucking badly as he slipped his digits up and down your folds.
âyour dickââ satoru pushed two fingers inside of you and you whined. âi remember the way you felt.â
âyeah?â he pulled back from your chest and grinned, fingers squelching as they pumped in and out. âand how did i feel?â
âbig.â you choked out, legs spreading wider as you gripped the edge of his desk, his frenzied lust filled eyes drinking in the way you unraveled and crumbled before him.
something he was positive rin didnât even come fucking close to.
âaww.â he cooed, digits speeding up as you squealed and tried to close your legs, him prying them open again. âbet you missed the way i filled you full huh? stretched you out so good?â
you rapidly nodded, eyebrows contorted in ecstasy as your thighs shook.
âanything else you missed baby?â
arousal trickled down your folds at this point, making an absolute mess out of his fingers.
âyour handsâ heaveâ on my neck when youâd fuck meââ
a shiver ran down his spine at your words, his cock so fucking hard and aching as it begged him to let it spring free and bury itself in your hole.
âmy godâŠâ he whispered. âi bet your slutty little self wants me to fuck you right now right? stuff you up and make you cum on my dick like i used to?â
with each word your hole was clenching and screaming for his cock, your hands quickly shooting out to pull and unbuckle at his belt, him laughing as he continued to finger your pussy while loosening up the collar of his tie.
âyouâre so needy.â
you pouted, embarrassed as you pulled your hands away and brattily tugged at his wrist to take his fingers out.
âi take it backââ
âno!â he quickly yanked his belt off and flung it, his fingers unzipping his pants and taking out his solid dick. âhell no please i need to be inside youââ
he lined his cock up and without warning pushed, your hands flying to grip his shoulders for support and crying out at the mere size of him, his dick icy in between your gummy walls that somehow added a whole new wave of pleasure for you.
âhard toru.â you whined. âplease i canâtâ iââ
âi know baby i know.â he gripped your hips and snapped his hips up, your moans fueling him as he plunged in your hole and took no time in fucking you in just the way he knew you liked it, proud of the fact that your pussy still took every single inch of him like heâd trained youâ almost like she recognized whose dick was actually for you and not some other fucking morons.
âyouâre not screwing anybody else anymore, you hear me sweets?â he tapped your cheek to get you to look at him, you completely dazed and fucked out as you tried to hold eye contact with him amidst his drilling cock. âshouldâve only been me⊠living or dead i donât care.â
you nodded dumbly, you leaning and kissing him sloppily and desperately that you muffled his next words, refusing to detach from his mouth.
âdid youâ mmphâ let him cum inside?â
you didnât answer, not because you were afraid to, but because his dick was silencing you as you hiccuped and spasmed with every slam of his hips, satoru a horny goner and pinning everything all on you even when it was literally his fault he erased your memories in the first place, fuming over the thought of you tainted by another man that he wanted to perform a full fucking cleanse.
he rammed inside of you faster against the desk as you separated from his lips and clamped a hand over your mouth, eyes rolling to the back of your head.
âdonât tell me you let him cum inside you little slutââ
âi didnât!â you heaved. âi didnât i didnâtââ
âgood baby!â he cheered, a complete contrast to his menacing tone from seconds before. âso you do love me.â
âi do! i love you i love you i love yoââ
his unbeating heart soared.
âyou love me?â
âuhâ hic!â uh huhââ
âeven when iâm dead?â
you nodded vigorously, feeling your orgasm starting to bubble up in your tummy as you choked and squirmed.
âperfect my sweet little thingâŠâ he cooed once more, him literally lightheaded over the way you clenched around his cock. âmake a mess all over me baby iâve been dreaming of your cute cunt for three fucking yearsââ
you wrapped your arms around him by the neck again and moaned, burying your face in his neck as he placed two palms on your bent knees and spread your plushy thighs further apart, jack hammering you and so mean about it as you shook violently against him and came, heaves and sobs of pleasure racking through your body as he threw his head back and groaned.
âyou want me to cum inside you?â he asked. âfill you up just like i used to?â
âyes! please pleaseââ
âoh fucking well.â
he pulled out of you and your eyes bulged open, his dick shiny and covered in your juices as he grabbed your upper arm and yanked you down on your knees.
âyouâre gonna suck me off and swallow what i give you for letting rinâs filthy hands on you.â
satoru tapped his dick against your cheek to get you to open up, you listening and opening your mouth as he shoved his cock inside and placed a hand on the back of your head, fucking your mouth as you choked and gagged on his length and loving every second of it.
âgoooddd baby.â he whispered, your slobbering so nasty as he watched drool dribble down your chin. âso goodâŠâ
you gulped him down and lathered your tongue around while he used you, his balls swollen and twitching and him needing to dump his cum in your mouth for you to swallow.
âremember when we used to do this every night?â he smiled wickedly. âwhen iâd make you swallow me up?â
you hummed around him and tried to nod, eager for his release and wanting to show him that you in fact did rememberâ wanting it just as bad as you hollowed out your cheeks and sucked him harder.
âhâ oh my godââ he fisted your hair and shivered, letting you take over and milk him for all his worth. âiâm gonnaâ jesus baby slowâ slow down slow downâ hah!â
satoruâs release shot to the back of your throat and you choked, blinking back tears as you gradually slowed your pace and continued to deliciously suck him through his orgasm and gulp down his cum, him with a death grip on the edge of his desk as he heaved and swallowed, hips jittery and twitching away from youâ tip now overly sensitive.
you licked up the last of his cum and stood back up, shimming your skirt back down and satoru shakily stuffing his softened dick back in his pants and zipping it, eyes softening once you reached up and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, his over your waist and squeezing you gently.
âso youâre telling me.â you began. âthat you havenât had sex in three years and you fucked me like that?â
he snickered and smoothed a hand over your back. âitâs my instinct sweets! and also because iâm sure rin did a horrendous freaking jobââ
you laughed and rolled your eyes, kissing his cheek before looking at him fully.
âiâm serious you know.â
he raised a brow. âabout what?â
âabout marrying you. even more so now.â
and just when he was about to pick you up and spin you around and jump up and down, he stilledâ face sickishly paling more than it already was.
because satoru was keeping something else from you⊠a condition between the living and the dead and one he overlooked entirely because he was selfishly desperate for you and just wanted you with him again, like the way he had you when he was alive.
âwhat toru?â
âhuh?â his eyes snapped to yours, and he quickly shook his head. âoh nothing nothing!â
his mind was frantically pushing it to the back, ignoring it and wanting to go through with the one thing heâd practically been dreaming of his entire living and dead lifeâ marriage with you.
this was fine. this was okay.
right?
âwhite or black.â
you tilted your head. âwhat?â
âyouâll see⊠but choose!â he grinned. âwhite or black?â
a slow giddy smile grew on your face.
âblack.â
satoru waved his hand and you stilled, the clothes on your skin changing and morphing into something completely anew, your eyes landing on his black and white button up suit now and head quickly dropping down to yourselfâ gasping once it registered in your flabbergasted brain.
you were wearing a black wedding gown, beautiful and classy as you picked up and felt the soft silk material between your fingertips, your tule sheer veil intricate as you looked behind you thenâ it long and stretching for what seemed like miles across the floor with gorgeous embroidery at the base of it.
it was heavenly.
your gaze snapped back to his, and he smiled fondly, taking your hand and intertwining your fingers.
âthree times.â he murmured, and you picked up on what he was referring to, tightening your grip on his hand and nodding.
âbeetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice.â
and the room spun around you, so astronomically fast that you almost doubled over in stifling nausea as the wind whipped through your hair and veil, expecting to land in the attic and finally outside that damn model when in reality, you were in a church cathedral as soon as your surroundings had stopped spinning⊠and one that looked exactly like the one in winter river.
âare weâŠâ you looked around. âare we still in the model?â
he shook his head. ânope! i was focusing my mind here when you were saying my name⊠weâre in winter river baby.â
you smiled, the atmosphere around you soft and serene as the dimly lit candles around you quietly flickered, a random lilac colored hue across the cathedral and one you assumed was placed by satoru himself as he took your hands in his, almost in a haste too, but choosing to brush the observation aside.
this was wrong⊠and satoru knew it.
but he pushed it to the back of his head again.
âwe are gathered here todayââ
âshit!â
you jumped and whipped your head to the side, breathing out and shoulders relaxing once you saw it was just your churchâs pastor that youâd known since birthâ a strange far off look in his eye that you deemed to be something that satoru did, for there was no way he was up at the crack of fucking dawn right now to do a wedding.
âsorry!â you laughed. âis he⊠is he okay?â
âoh yeah heâs fine! heâs actually still sleeping.â he let go of one of your hands and patted the pastors head. âiâm manipulating his head for a little bit. just until youâre my wife.â
his wife.
you nodded, cheeks so warm as you tried to refrain from jumping over how excited you were at the thought of finally fulfilling the vows you had placed on each other when you were youngâ them now nurturing into something real.
âdearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the love of satoru gojo and y/n y/m in holy matrimony.â
he shouldnât do this to you.
âtoday, they declare their intention to build a life together, sharing their joys and their challenges, and supporting one another in pursuit of their dreams.â
he canâtâ he canât build a life with you⊠can he?
he pushed his worries back again and gripped your hands tighter.
âdo you, satoru gojo, take y/n y/m to be your lawfully wedded wife? do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, through sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?â
this is wrong.
but he swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded.
âi do.â
âand do you, y/n y/m, take satoru gojo to be your lawfully wedded husband? do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, through sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?â
for as long as you both shall live.
satoru canât live.
âi dââ
âstop.â
you froze.
âwhat?â you asked worriedly. âwhatâs wrong?â
âiâm no better than the man i was when i first died.â
the look in his eyes was⊠odd, and it only further confused you.
âi donâtââ
âi canât let you marry me baby.â
your heart dropped.
âwhat?â
âi told you that if you married me it would break my contract and i would be a free man and thatâs trueâŠâ he began. âbut thereâs something else that i didnât tell you... iâ i kept it from you.â
oh fuck.
âwhat are you talking about toru.â your voice was low and heedful, almost like a warning to him, and he wanted to slam his head against the wall for being so fucking reckless again.
âif youââ he breathed in and shook his head, letting go of your hands and letting his fall tight at his sides, balling up. âif you marry me, youâre freeing meâŠâ
he gnawed at his lip.
âbut iâm killing you.â
your blood ran cold and drained from your face, words entirely at a loss and useless as your brain tried to process what the fuck he just told you.
kill you?
âmarrying me is like exchanging your soul with the dead.â satoru slowly shook his head. âyouâll die sweets⊠i canâtâ i canât do that to you.â
satoru was desperate to for you, so much so that he was willing to hide such a detrimental part of the marriage clause until the time came, choosing to play freaking stupid and tune it out in the hopes that in the end, he would be brave enough to go through with it just to keep you and not ever have to say goodbye again.
but it was wrong. so incredibly immoral and wrong and he felt like a monster for even trying to do it, for letting it go as far as it did and have you standing there in front of him in your pretty gown and veilâ just like how heâd imagined it when his blood was pumping and his heart was beating, and just like how heâd imagined it even now, shriveled up dead veins and all.
this is what fate had chosen for the two of you.
and though it took forever for satoru to accept it⊠you and him were simply not meant to be.
for you were meant to live, and satoru was meant to die.
âyou disgraceful bafoon! you insolent crook!â
the big doors of the cathedral kicked open and juno walked through, adam and barbara maitland running behind her and trying to pull her back, the both of them spouting reasonings and explanations.
âthis is her choice juno!ââ
âshe wants to let her do it!ââ
âthe kidâs just in love!ââ
âbutton it or iâm sending you back to the house!â juno grumbled at them, turning back around and pointing menacingly at satoru once she reached you both, her brittle old lady perfume wafting in your nostrils.
âjuno!â satoru greeted with faux cheerfulness, eyes wide and alarmed. âgood to see you hah! you look livelier than the last time i saw yââ
âwhat the hell do you think youâre doing boy?â she spat, eyes switching to you next. âand you! young ladyâ this man is a spirit!â
âiâi knowââ
âjuno they know each other.â barbara spoke up gently. âthey grew up together when he was alive.â
âyes they were in a relationship this isnât him trying to trick her into anythingââ
âno but it is.â satoru exhaustedly whined, cutting adam off as he ran his hands through his snowy hair. âshe didnât know about the clause⊠i just told her now.â
silence.
âyou didnât tell her about the clause?!ââ
âare you out of your mind you cockroach?!ââ
âyouâre doing what you did before!ââ
âi know!â satoru exclaimed over the yells of scolding and belittlement. âi know i know thatâs why i told her just now⊠iâm not letting her do it iâ i couldnât.â
he turned to you.
âbaby i want you. i need you and thatâs why i didnât say anything like a fucking dingbat because iâm tired of living forever without you... it sucks.â
you felt tears prickle at your eyes.
âbut this isnât fair to you at all. you deserve to live man⊠i canâtâ i wonât drag you down with me.â
âtoruââ
âthe living and the dead were never meant to coexist.â juno interjected, her gaze looking at satoru sincerely for once that it was a strange sight for him.
she placed a hand on her chest. âiâm sorry that your love was separated by death, truly. i sympathize with you. i canât think of anything more cruel.â
you both solemnly nodded.
âbut the living and the dead were never meant to coexist.â she repeated. âso even though you two move on from this and go back to being what you are, satoru will stay like this and you will not. you will grow.â
juno addressed you directly and you listened with a heavy heartâ the use of satoruâs actual given name now from her instead of âbeetlejuiceâ adding a layer of somber seriousness.
âand letâs just say this clause didnât exist and you get to marry her and she stays alive⊠satoru will still stay and you will grow. do you both understand what iâm trying to say?â
you quickly wiped the corner of your eyes, satoru peeking over at you sadly.
âi wonât tell you what i think the right choice is young lady.â she continued. âthe dead arenât even supposed to associate with the living like this⊠but weigh the consequences of either path and see which one you want to walk in.â
she stepped a bit closer, holding eye contact with you.
âbut let me make one thing clearâ the power of the living is greater than the dead. if you choose to marry him, you will break his contract forever and free him of his violations. but if you do, you will die and be one of us.â
either path is difficult.
to sacrifice his freedom, or to sacrifice your life?
but you knew that a life without satoru was nothing and bleakâŠ. you had lived it for three years.
were you willing to return to that? just to keep your heart beating? and say goodbye to satoru for good?
you didnât want to live in a world that didnât have him in it. you didnât want to live in a world where you remembered satoru for longer than youâd known him, and the thought only made you absolutely sick to your stomach as you envisioned the rest of your life without the person who knew you best.
it was almost easy⊠you didnât have to weigh the consequences at all.
your path was satoru.
âweâre getting married.â
âwhat?!â satoru frantically shook his head. âno sweets no weâre not.â
âyes we are.â you pushed. âthis isnât for you to decide itâs my choice and i choose youââ
âand iâm not letting you.â he countered. âyouâre choosing wrong so unbelievably wrongââ
âbut iâm not though!â you argued. âliterally explain to me right now how me stuck in a world that doesnât have you in it is better thanââ
ây/n you need to live.â he cut you off. âi died, not you itâs not supposed to be you alright? i canât let you do this.â
tears slipped from your eyes and you wiped them right away.
âdo you notâ sniffâ do you not want me do you want me to go away whatââ
ânoâŠâ he stepped forward and cupped your cheeks. âthatâs the last thing i want and you know thatâŠâ
âthen why wonât you marry me?â you hiccuped. âwhy wonât you let me stay with you?â
âbabyâ life is so unbelievably precious.â he moved strands of your hair away from your face. âdo you have any idea what i would give to have it again? to feel my body actually working for a change instead of it just being nothing?â
you continued to cry, your hands clutching his wrists.
âi donât want you to take that away from yourself because of me⊠i want you breathing. i want your little heart pumping and your cheeks warm, i want you to move on.â
âiâ hic!â i donât want to move on from youââ
âyou have to sweets.â he quickly wiped his eyes before cupping your cheeks again. âweâre not meant to be baby and i hate so much that we arenât⊠and iâm sorry.â
âtoru stop itââ
âplease live for me okay? for the both of us. and donât forget me either please donât forget meââ
âwhy are youââ you harshly wiped your eyes. âwhy are you talking like that what are you doingââ
âi donât think i should be around you anymore baby.â
âhuh?!â your eyes narrowed. âare you serious?â
âsatoruââ
juno raised a hand, stopping barbara from interjecting.
âit wonât be good for either of us if i stick around...â he sniffled. âi need to stay away from you because if i donât, i might try to trick you again into giving up your soul and i canât have that.â
âmy soul?â you spat. âtake it i donât want it without you i told you alreadyââ
âplease try to understand.â he placed a soft kiss to your forehead. âplease.â
ânoââ
âiâll see you soon okay?â satoru let go of your face. âgraduate please. have kids and get married and stuff⊠travel.â
you were supposed to do all of that with him.
âsatoru no listen to me!ââ
âi love you.â
âstop!ââ
satoruâs grief was monumental, but his love for you was greater, choosing to let you go for the sake of your life.
he looked to juno and she sighed through her nose, somehow knowing exactly what he was silently asking for, stepping forward and lifting a hand.
âsatoru please i wanna stay with you!ââ
juno sharply moved her hand to the side and you were pulled to a blinding white abyss, dream like and fuzzy as you felt all muscles in your body relax, your mind completely blank and free of the heartbreak and loss and sorrow for a little, floating through a cloud of soft serenity as it brought you in and tried to clear the pain in your heart.
you werenât aware of where you were or what juno had done, but your thoughts were distant and muffled as you let it engulf you entirely in its welcoming arms, you sleepy and drowsy until the blinding white abyss slowly shrunk down to a pure black, quiet void, the nerves in your body twitching little by little until you were finally consciously aware of your limbs and mind, but you too tired still to open your eyes.
you cruelly dreamed of satoru still. of him alive.
and you werenât sure how long you had been in this weird pit of tranquility, or how long you were asleep for until you were jerked awake and ripped from it entirely.
âheyâ y/n?â
you shot awake, sitting up and whipping your head around.
you were back in your dorm.
âare you okay? why are you sleeping on the floor?â
you looked up, your roommate standing there with a weirded out expression.
âand what are you wearing?â
your gaze shifted downward, and the minute you saw your black wedding dress and veil folded neatly next to you, memories of what had happened hours prior came achingly flooding in as you scrambled to stand up on your feet, scaring your roommate and leaving her to grumble in her head about how she wished the system didnât put her to room with the campus ghost girl.
âsorry! i have to go thank you though for waking me uââ
your voice trailed off down the hall, you running through and ignoring the weirded out looks from other students as you sprinted out of the building and down the street, engulfing the skirt of your gown up in your arms so you wouldnât accidentally trip over it and eat shit on the ground, the goal of getting back to the maitlandâs house the only thing on your mind as you ran.
your lungs burned by the time you got to the bottom of the hill, and you thanked anyone that was willing to listen for allowing winter river to exist as the smallest town you had ever known, sparing you from running a full fledged marathon just to get to the house as you heaved and tried to catch your breath, a little sweaty and hot as you began the hike up the hill.
you hoped he was there.. in the attic.
you hoped to god that he was.
reaching the top, you continued to trudge across the dirt driveway and up the porch steps, your foot lifting and just about to make contact with the old wooden platform until an invisible force grabbed your ankle and pulled you back, literally dragging you away from the house and down the hill over the grass as you screamed and thrashed for it to let you go.
satoru.
and you tried again, hiking up the hill with your bundled up wedding skirt in your arms, reaching the top faster than last time and choosing to run up the porch steps instead to see if you could outrun his ghostly abilities.
except you couldnât, because the invisible force caught you by the ankle again just as your fingers grazed the doorknob, yanking you away and down the hill until it left you screaming and huffing in frustration at the bottom.
you continued to do that for the rest of the fucking day, and everyday for that matter, for an entire week straight.
walking up the hill, reaching the top, getting reeled back, running up the hill and getting sent back down again, sprinting for it only to get dragged away once more as the repeated cycle you had set for yourself happened over and over, until by your last attempt you couldnât even walk up the hill anymore, satoru having put a huge invisible wall around the house that was impossible to get through.
you were angry. angry and bitter that he was doing this.
was it so bad to just want to spend the rest of your undying life with him? is that not what he wanted this entire time? why was he so adamant on damning you to live a life of suffering andâ and loneliness? a life without him?
you didnât know what to do. your psychic abilities were only for sensing the dead and being able to see themâ nothing to do with calling forth spirits or summoning them at any given place and time, so there was no way for you to call satoru no matter how much you wanted to or tried.
and you cried. you cried and you sobbed just like how you did when he first died, except somehow worse knowing that there was a chance to be together with him forever and him not wanting it⊠not wanting you.
but you waited anyways, hoping that he would come around and change his mind, that he would bring down that stupid invisible wall and let you inside the house and back to him, counting down the days and hours and minutes until it became clearer to you that satoru wasnât going to change his mind.
and by the third week, you had almost entirely given up.
you felt nothing. absolutely nothing as you slugged through your classes or your day to day errands, not giving a shit about anything that you had to do in this world for you had always loved the other world moreâ the world of spirits and the netherworld and the great beyond, the world that had satoru in it, as you appreciated and admired that one more ever since you were a kid with your parents⊠more than the one you were currently inâ as this one was filled with ignorance and criticism.
you felt helpless⊠and maybe satoru was right.
if he was willing to give up an opportunity to keep you forever, then maybe thatâs just the way it goes⊠maybe you should just accept it, and you choosing to think of the latter instead of begging and kneeling at nothing for satoru to come back and get you and marry youâ was helping the bitterness in your heart grow and get you by, it at least stopping you from crying in the middle of your lectures or the grocery store and weirding people out anyways.
maybe you should accept the fact that you and him were not meant to be.
after an entire month, you had given up.
and satoruâs grave was the closest you knew youâd get to him, permanently divided by dirt and soil and grass⊠six feet under and totally out of your reach, his tombstone engraved and pretty and one you couldnât believe you had forgotten about as it sat here alone for years right under your noseâ you visiting it now for the millionth time as you placed your book bag down and sat criss crossed on the grass, mindlessly tugging and breaking off pieces of it as you sat there.
you sighed deeply and hugged your knees up to your chest, the day surprisingly a sunny one as chirping birds flittered past you through the wind, tiny little white butterflies occasionally stopping by to sit on your arm or satoruâs tombstone as you sat there in thought⊠not really sure what to think, but comforted by the fact that the engravings on his stone reminded you that he was once very much alive and real.
there was an odd wavering in your heart, and you had a feeling that this was going to be the last time you were visiting his grave, for you figured it was time to finally do what he wanted you to doâ move on and forget him.
âdonât move on.â
you stiffened.
that voice⊠was your mind hallucinating now? jesus chriâ
âdonât move on from me please⊠andâ and donât forget me. i take it all back.â
you heard footsteps draw nearer across the grass and you turned your head, eyes widening and unbelieving as you saw satoru standing there with a pleading anxious expression, him still dressed in his black and white suit that he had on for the wedding.
was it actually him?
âhow are youâŠâ you trailed off, your mind having difficulty processing how he was there. âhow are you outside the house? i thought the contractââ
âjuno gave me a hall passâŠâ he explained softly. âit expires at the end of the day.â
you hummed, itching to jump up and wrap your arms around him and cling to him, but stopping yourself from doing so as you still didnât know why he was here, and you were quite frankly still bitter and hurt from him sending you away.
you slightly turned your body. âwhy are you here?â
âbecause i canât stay away from you.â
your heart skipped a beat as he crouched down to your level, your eyes greedily running across every feature of his face and committing it to memory, as you now had him directly in front of you again instead of having to rely on recollections of him to try and mend your aching heart.
and satoru was doing the same.
âi started to sense you distancing from me and⊠and i had this feeling that you were starting to listen and move on and forget me and it made me fucking ill. which is crazy because iâm dead⊠but i was literally ill sweets.â
you let a tiny soft smile play at your lips.
âi canât take it.â he spoke again, shaking his head. âi canât take the thought of you forgetting me. not now, not ever, and i donât know why i was stupid enough to try and convince myself that i could watch you do something like that even if its the right thing.â
âyou sent me away.â
âi did babyâŠâ he reached over and gently caressed your cheek. âand i regret that so fucking much. iâm sorry.â
âtoru i need you to understand that you canât make choices like that for me.â
âi know.â he mumbled and dropped his hand, eyes casting down. âiâm stupid.â
âbut i also need you to understand, that i have no interest in living in a world that doesnât have you in it⊠itâs not worth it now that youâre gone.â
you tilted your head to try and catch his gaze, continuing once his blue eyes flickered back to yours.
âi would die for you, and i would die without you. i look for you in everything that i do and you expecting me to just forget you is cruel.â
âno i donât want you to forget me anymââ
âwhatâs life to you?â you asked him suddenly. âwhat does it feel to you? and mean?â
he stared at you with pinched brows, his face endearing but sad all at the same time.
âwarm.â he murmured. âbeautiful and⊠pure. itâs peaceful and it means you.â
your heart fluttered and you smiled, and satoru fell in love with you all over againâ something you conquered when he was alive, and something you conquered again in death.
âthatâs what life is toru.â you cupped his cheek. âto me itâs notâ this.â
you gestured around you. âitâs not my body or my heart, itâs not the sun and itâs not breathing. itâs you. i feel life through you and i always have⊠because life doesnât literally mean where i am now and neither does it mean the netherworld baby⊠it means you and me.â
satoru didnât even realize he was crying until you wiped his cheeks, your words serving an entirely new perspective to him about the living and the dead and he felt peace.
because yes satoru was dead⊠but he was still living. living because he had you as the embodiment of it, and living because his soul still permitted him to see you again and be with you, to look at you with his own undead eyes and feel warmth like he did before.
but not literal warmth from your body or pumping blood or a beating heart.
but warmth from your soul. from who you are.
thatâs what life was to him⊠and what life was to you.
satoru wrapped his arms around your shoulders and brought you to his chest, one hand on the back of your head as he cradled you and cried, finally now no longer mourning his past life like heâd been doing for the past three years, and no longer wishing for it back either or thinking that physically living in this world was the better option for you just because it meant you were breathing.
where he was, was just fine. and wherever you chose to go would be fine too.
but you chose to go with him, something that had been set since the moment you met under the magnolia tree back in middle schoolâ living or dead, paris or italy, your choice would always and forever be him.
satoru proposed to you right then and there at his gravesite, flying to one knee as soon as you both stood back up and him manifesting the biggest diamond rock you had ever seen in your life, laughing and crying together as he slipped it over your ring finger, for your marriage meant the binding of the living and the dead, and the binding of you and himâ a new beginning.
but this time your wedding wasnât at the cathedral, but under the pretty magnolia tree where you had met, now accompanied by the maitlands as barbara cried, and juno as she herself officiated the wedding, you thinkingâ hoping that she grew a soft spot for satoru, and that behind her stern resting face, she was glad satoru was finally a free man and granted a second chance.
giving your soul up was nothing to you, and it didnât hurt at all either⊠you feeling lighter in exchange actually⊠happy, with satoru standing in front of you and with a massive fucking grin on his face, shiny and bright as he practically jumped in his spot in excitement over you finally being his wife and that he got to keep youâ and right this time⊠no lies or tricks or hidden secrets, but genuine authentic sacrifice instead, for it was the purest form of love.
because this is what fate had decided for the two of you.
it had decided that satoru gojo was meant to die⊠but it had also decided to bring you back to him as wellâ to the house of the maitlands, to the attic he was banished to, and back together again in each others cold arms where you belonged, defying the laws of the living and the dead and proving that life doesnât end even after your hearts stopped beating.
fate had decided that you were both meant to be. that was always a fact.
and fate had decided that you and satoru gojo were meant to live, with unbeating hearts and icy cold skin, but souls still warm for each other nonetheless.
because through sickness and in health⊠death could not do you both apart.
you and satoru.
together for eternity.
a lovely and incredibly beautiful fanart of this fic can be found here by @courtneedsleep !! <33
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Summary: Task Force 141 operates successfully without an omega, at least thatâs what Price has been saying since its formation. Two alphas and two betas balance the pack just fine, and they have the numbers to prove it.
It works for a while, until the Omega Initiative is born and the 141 find themselves having to adjust to the sudden addition of an omega to their pack. Fresh out of an institute, youâre hardly fit for their secretive, dangerous world, or so Price thinks.Â
As each member of the team gets closer to you, things begin to come to light, not only about you but about the decision to force you into their lives.
Maybe, just maybe, Price was wrong and the 141 does need an omega after all.Â
Pairings: Poly 141 x reader, Price x Gaz, Ghost x Soap
Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, NSFW content, explicit smut, fingering, oral (m and f receiving), knotting, biting, claiming, mating cycles, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, age differences, military inaccuracies, canon typical violence, blood, weapons, language, no use of Y/N, brief torture, hurt/comfort, let's be real this is so unrealistic but it's a/b/o you're not here for accuracy.
Chapters containing smut are marked with a *
Updates are posted on the weekends, either Saturday or Sunday PST
This fic can also be found on my Ao3 -> HERE
I will no longer be using a taglist for this fic, please follow THIS BLOG and turn on notifications
**This fic is currently in progress**
NAVIGATION PAGE
CRCB DIRECTORY
Part 1 - The Omega
Chapter 1 - The Introduction
Chapter 2 - Adjustments
Chapter 3 - Speak Their Language
Chapter 4 - You Can Be Useful
Chapter 5 - What I Want *
Part 2 - The Bond
Chapter 6 - One Step Closer *
Chapter 7 - Sweet Strawberry
Chapter 8 - The Thing About Ghost
Chapter 9 - Save Me
Chapter 10 - Treat Me Gently*
Part 3 - The First Heat
Chapter 11 - It's Coming
Chapter 12 - Fire In My Veins*
Chapter 13 - Piece Me Back Together*
Chapter 14 - The Aftermath*
Part 4 - The New Normal
Chapter 15: Bonnie*
Chapter 16: Big Brown Eyes *
Chapter 17: Alone
Chapter 18: Don't Let Me Go
Chapter 19: Daddy Issues
Chapter 20: The New Normal *
Chapter 21: Crime and Punishment *
Chapter 22: I Won't Be Gentle
Part 5 - A Pack of Five
Chapter 23: Regrets
Chapter 24: The Last First Time *
Chapter 25: Animals *
Chapter 26: Fuck *
Chapter 27: Drown In It *
Chapter 28: Two Is Company, Three Is A Party *
Chapter 29: There's Something Wrong With My Omega
Part 6 - The Tragedy
Chapter 30: Butterfly's Wings
Chapter 31: Forced Proximity
Chapter 32: The Tragedy
Chapter 33: Ghosts of the Past
Chapter 34: The Whole Truth
Part 7 - The Aftermath
Chapter 35: Threads
Chapter 36: To The Sea
Chapter 37: The Silence
Chapter 38: Shattered
Chapter 39: Life
Part 8 - The Next Chapter
Chapter 40: Where Do We Go From Here
Chapter 41: Revenge
Chapter 42: Comfort and Joy
Title card made by the beautiful @141wh0re
#call of duty#call of duty fanfic#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#141 x reader#task force 141 x reader#captain john price x reader#john price x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#kyle garrick x reader#gaz x reader#soap mactavish x reader#john mactavish x reader#x reader#a/b/o
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Venus in the houses Ovservation 8-12
Venus in the 8th house: these people are so magnetic itâs insane. They have a dark beauty to them thatâs truly captivating. They remind me of Tim Burton characters. But being so magnetic causes a lot of people to become obsessed with them. They attract a lot of stalkers and creepy people. They tend to get sexualized constantly( people make such gross comments to them itâs shocking). Iâve seen these people get catcalled and lustful stares and comments about their body even if they arenât wearing anything revealing. Even Iâve seen family members make inappropriate comments to these natives, things like âif you werenât my daughter IâdâŠ.â You get the picture đ€ź (8th house ruling taboo attraction ) one of my close friends had to deal with that in her family. They may have been shamed for wearing revealing clothing of too much makeup because itâs seen as âoverly sexyâ or âhoochieâ. People couldâve thought they were sluts even if they never had sex too itâs sad. They can get a lot of hate from people for no reason as well they may be used to people (mostly women) giving them dirty looks or ignoring them/purposely being mean to them. Their presence has such an intense affect on the people around them. Their relationships are also intense as well they attract a lot of people with a dangerous/edgy type vibe to them (junkies, drug dealers, people with a record ect). They have a provocative vibe to them so they can attract some very questionable partners at time. Iâve seen too that they are into gory kinda art or disturbing art pieces/ photography. They are also very proud of their bodies & usually embrace their sexuality. Iâve seen a lot get into nude modeling or just take a lot of pictures of their bodies. Theyâre more comfortable being nude than most (also this can be a big sugar baby placement as well like Venus in the 2nd).
Venus in 9th house: have such a unique glow to them. They have smiles that can light up a room and their laugh reminds me of wind chimes. I havenât met a lot of people with this placement but the ones I met I notice they are so intelligent and well spoken. So many people are drawn to them just to hear what they have to talk about. It makes them amazing teachers/gurus. They just always seem like they know what theyâre talking about so many describe them as being wise beyond their years (they usually have pretty high IQs as well, Marylin Monroe had this placement) They tend to find spouses while traveling or they can travel a lot with their partner. Their partner mightâve come from a very diverse cultural background or ethnicity. On the negative side these people can be very overly indulgent and sometimes believe that they are always right and their words are law. They can have a big god complex if negatively aspected.
Venus in the 10th house: give superstar vibes. These people put a lot of effort into their career and public image. Most big celebrities/ big politicians I notice have this placement. This can be a big trendsetter placement as well, youâll notice that many people will admire you and try to copy you a lot! Whether it be you mannerisms, fashion, art style ect. For example Billie Eilish has this placement and everyone went crazy over her baggy clothes style. You have more of an opportunity to make your mark in the world more than the rest of the Venus signs. If afflicted however you can become too obsessed with recognition and status to the point where you abandon important things and people in your life to attain your goals, this can cause someone who has sorta tunnel vision when negatively aspected. Itâs important to not get so wrapped up in others image of you so you donât burn yourself out trying to please everyone (they can be extremely sensitive to criticism & be harsh on themselves to perform perfectly). You can also have a habit of putting your work/career before relationships. You may not settle down till later in life.
Venus in the 11th house: I notice similar to Venus in Aqua that they are really big on friends before lovers typa thing. They donât really jump into relationships fast without becoming their friend first.( which can be a little annoying to more fast paced types) at first you can make your partner feel friend zoned but the ones who are patient enough to let you open up usually win your heart. They usually put a big emphasis on friends in general and could have a lot of them. If you date someone with this placement it may feel like youâre dating their friends toođ theyâre a very big part of their life. People with this placement usually have many support systems which can help them through life and show them to new opportunities(especially business opportunities). On the flip side Iâve seen these people become too detached with their relationships and treat them like friends rather than lovers which can cause their partner to feel neglected. They tend to find lovey dovey expressions a little awkward (if immature) which can cause them to become aloof when things get a little too close, they may start playing hot and cold. Might need a longer time to mature romantically than most. Iâve seen a lot of influencer and people with popular social media blogs have this placement. Theyâre very tech savvy & usually own the latest technology.
Venus in 12th house: these people I feel mostly live in their fantasy worlds in terms of love and romance. They are hopeless romantics at heart and have this beautiful vision of how they want their love to look and feel like. However itâs usually difficult for them to find this perfect love in such an imperfect world so they usually end up romanticizing the most mentally ill mfs into like a Prince Charming image lmao. This is why they usually attract a lot of unstable/ emotionally unavailable partners. Iâve seen these people remain celibate for long periods of time as well until they find that perfect love. Most of the time though unfortunately love feels a lot better in their imagination. Iâve read somewhere before that they go through such an ordeal in love because in a past life they chose lovers over loving themselves so a big lesson in this lifetime is to love yourself before you let anyone in. I also read they couldâve lost their soulmate in another life which caused this extreme longing for love in this life. These people usually find self love through spiritual practices such as religion, meditation, crystal work, tarot ect.
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i have noticed a small pattern of elves being on my latest fictional character obsessions and HEAR ME OUT!!
elf who has lived for hundreds upon thousands of years, who had experienced many of the things the world has to offer. sadness of bidding hundreds of farewells to the beauty of life and alliance of different races
elf who even after all his years of living still yet to find a love for himself. regal and seemingly detached to the concepts of relationships elves may be, even they get lonely. some nights feeling a little bit too long, a little bit too cold as they add another layer of blanket over themselves or reaching over to hug one of his puffy pillows like how he would hug his future lover. the coldness of being immortal seeping into his bones and making him shiver despite elves being above the concept of getting sick or feeling the cold temperatures
elf who runs into you by some chance meeting. maybe you were walking in the territory of elves without knowing it, maybe he purposely goes to human residences and towns, seeking adventure, excitement and change of pace. who immediately is enamored by you just by your smile that you flash his way, a kind one, a gentle one, to a nearby passenger. who falls in love with the callouses of your hand, the freckles, the small scars, the little bits of imperfection that marked you as clearly human, very much mortal, very much brittle but still with your own strength that he hasnât felt before
elf bf who starts to court you the moment he realizes that you werenât seeing anyone, bringing small gifts, exchanging knowledge, singing you soft ancient lullabies that no other mortal has ever heard before. maybe he finds himself writing a poem about you one day, describing your looks, your feelings, your everyday actions that you may see as mundane but ones he sees as just as courageous and beautiful in their own ways
elf bf who has never seen human flesh or bare skin before, finding the rippling biceps and toned legs of yours to be⊠curious. a tentative finger touching the muscles here and there, stopping you mid work as he inquires about them in a soft tone. elves of course were magical beings, blessed with magic and eternity and had no need to develop visible physical muscles till the point they become buff or beefy to some extent all due to their magic and ancient powers. the tips of his pointy ear twitching softly, eyes wide in wonder as you explain that contrary to his kin, your own develop muscles if they are put to work in physically demanding job for enough time
elf bf who over time, finds himself obsessively scribbling down any sort of new information about human anatomy on a journal, always asking you new things as he finds himself able to learn more despite having been alive for hundreds upon thousands of years. tracing the old faded scars on your body with the tip of his finger, counting the freckles, kissing the stretch marks as they were all you. regardless of how you see it, to him it was all you, together and healthy. you were alive even if you may have battle scars and he always makes sure to thank the stars as it was thanks to the tribulations you have conquered that you two were here now. staring eye to eye, touching your foreheads together as you whisper about mundane things
elf bf who one day sees you cut down a tree, cut a log off or prepare firewood and finds that he was imagining the bulge of your muscles against himself. big arms caging him in a bear hug, legs to support him and strong back that he could sink his nails into as he moans under youâ hold. since when has his thoughts of you turned⊠impure? since when has he become turned on? sitting there on one of the logs with a painful strain against his pants as he swallowed the saliva that gathered in his jaw down, tearing his gaze away. no no, he really shouldnât think of you as such, you were still in courting phase after all and elves were a race that took their romances and courting extremely important
yet regardless of his kinâs customs and traditions, your pretty elf bf couldnât help but continue to stare. his gaze constantly seeking your figure out, seeing you just go through the motions of every life peacefully while he gets pathetically turned on by your actions as if he was still but a fledgling who learned of a kiss. chopping down trees for firewood, maybe you would work in front of a fire or heat for too long and get sweaty, removing one of the overtunics. maybe youâre just simply dragging a bucket full of water from the well, cranking the pulley as the muscles on your arms and back strained
elf bf who finds himself extremely aroused as his mind wanders to the gutters as he just shamelessly stares at your working form. oh, to feel those calloused hands touch his colder skin, palms smoothening over his creamy skin, and down his chest, his stomach and over his bulge. maybe you would tease the poor thing, tease him of how quick he is to get aroused, the pre of his half-hard cock weeping through his underwear and pants like he was some sore pathetic loser. a little virgin. bully him about being unable to use his cock, make him whine at your mean words as his hips weakly buckle under your exploratory hands
elf bf who couldnât help but imagine the usual sweetness of your attitude gone, replaced by one that was just a tad bit meaner as you pushes his face down into the pillows of your bed, force his hands to stretch open his puckering hole for you to fuck senselessly. imagining you whispering all sorts of filth into his twitching ears, promising to breed him full, to use him to your heartâs content all night long as he whines and squeals like a little lamb caught in the nest of a hungry wolf. who couldnât swallow down the quiet whimper coming from his throat as he imagined your hand grasping at his long locks, fisting it tightly as you yank him back, forcing him to arch his back and push the tip of your cock to bruise his guts even more
elf bf who waves off your worry when you had managed to hear the embarrassing noise that slipped past his lips, saying that he was having a bit of a sore throat. gods, he would love to actually whimper from having a sore throat of getting his mouth plowed all day by your fat cock head forcing his jaws wiiideee open
elf bf who couldnât help but get a little needy in his kisses since then. hands that touched your muscles with curiosity now running over your skin as if trying to feebly seduce you. dropping things to the ground a bit too many times, following you close behind even as you told him that some of the work you needed to do required space and for him to be away for his own safety. who straddles your lap all snug, pushing his chest flush against your own as your simply daily evening kisses after dinner becomes a bit too heated. he definitely had little to no experience with the way his tongue kept licking at your lips meagerly, long fingers curling over your shoulders tightly while his bucking hips on your lap as he starts to get hard again
elf bf who has finally had enough of just his meager imaginations, tugging on the strings of your white tunic with shaky hands as he rambles about touching you, you touching him, feeling him, using him â anything dammit! use those hands of yours on him!
elf bf who soon realizes that he had perhaps bitten off more than he could chew when your hands grip at his hips, dragging his clothed cock against your thigh that had him whining like a cat in heat. meagerly, he tries to replicate what you just made him do, dragging his hips back and forth on your thigh but he all but just looks like an inexperienced bunny. which he probably was judging by the things he spoke to you about himself
elf bf who finds so much pleasure in simply grinding against your thigh for now, the precum of his now hard cock weeping through his pants, staining it into a darker color. all cute and red in the face that spread to his pointy ears, cute high pitched whines falling from his chewed up pink lips. a cute, surprised âa-aahnâĄïž??â echoing in the room as you pull his eager body against your own. your chest to his back, hands loosely draped over the hip bone of his
elf bf who lets out the most embarrassing high pitched squeals when your hands travel up his body under his clothes, traveling more and more until teasing at his nipples. rolling your fingertips against the soft areola, squeezing and fondling his pecks as if they were breasts. who jolts in place when you pinch at the hardened buds, tugging at them to test the waters as he arches his back off of your chest, a filthy mewl falling as if he was being fucked stupid already
elf bf who blubbers out uncharacteristic words of âs-shensiitiivghâĄïž n-no, donât pinch the-eeengkâĄïžâĄïž!â his pleads of your rough hands not torturing his sensitive nipples being replaced with an open mouthed wail when you place a kiss to the pointy tip of his ear. his ears were so sensitive! you knew that and now you were just being downright mean to him as you whisper filth into his ears of acting like a cooped up virgin for merely getting his chest played with. he wasnât! he was way older than you! slurring out âhow c-could you be sooh m-meanngkâŠâĄïž?â as you lick a slow stripe up the pointy helix
elf bf who bucks his hips on your thigh, trying to bounce, trying to move away but ending up whining as his clothed cock grazes against your hardened muscles again. his cute nipples being tortured and groped by your hands, the delicate helix of his ears being assaulted by your wet kisses and licks. any time your hot breath spoke into his ears of how he was such a precious little thing, just like a bunny in heat, he would try to wiggle away. shaking his head with a weak sniffle, his mind churning into a mush as all he could do was to pathetically fuck his cock into your thigh, letting out a soft mewl everytime you buck your leg up to meet his shy excuse of thrusts, jumping in place
elf bf whose minds and body starts to feel weird. the room feeling stifling and your touch making his own skin heat up too much. who tries to tell you that he was feeling âoddâ and concerned, yet only to harshly thrust his hips back into your own arousal. eyes widening, a shudder running down his spine at the feeling. still clothed and hidden like his own but good grief, it just felt⊠so huge since he was sure your human dick couldnât possibly be much bigger than his own. but no, it got him gulping down the saliva in his mouth
elf bf who bounces himself experimentally onto your own hardened, covered dick, feeling his balls brush against where he guesses is the tip of your strap. his earlier cute whines growing in volume as your torture of his sensitive spots grow worse, groping, squeezing, calling him too eager to get fucked, making him dumb and airheaded. the constant tugs to his chest, the words you spat into his mind so lovingly and the small actions of your hips thrusting up to meet his own weaker excuse of grinding
elf bf whoâs voice grow more and more breathier, who finally loses it as he throws himself back against your chest, his head on your shoulder as he let out a wail of âh-hoowt!! t-too ahggâĄïž haah anhg t-too hoounwt...â„ïž!â as he cums into his pants, dirtying the material as a single glob or two of his sweet transparent arousal oozes out through the linen. the dark patch growing into a considerable size, his body racked with twitches and jolts as he cums untouched on your lap. precious little thing getting drunk on the feeling of sex and physical pleasure so much till the point he disregards all of his traditions, bending himself over onto the bed, his hand reaching back to tug you forward by the belt with a desperate whine and a cute blown wide pupils and twitching earsâĄïž
âš meludir, lindir, legolas, maglor, mairon + whoever you like
#nobu.writes#dom reader#sub!character#sub character#lotr x you#lotr x y/n#lotr x reader#sub lotr#lord of the rings x you#lord of the rings x y/n#lord of the rings x reader#sub the hobbit#the hobbit x y/n#the hobbit x you#the hobbit x reader#silmarillion x reader#silmarillion#elf x reader#nobu.brainrots#legolas x reader#lindir x reader#maglor x reader#mairon x reader#meludir x reader#monster fucker
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chiron through the houses
hii, i'll be going over what chiron represents in each of the houses. chiron represents the area where we tend to struggle with the most, need to heal the most, and feel most hardship with. depending on how your chiron is aspected and where it is placed can entail this to you.
(also sorry for the inactivity life's crayz)
chiron in 1st - these people will deal with insecurities from a young age. usually something regarding their appearance and overall presentation. has poor self-esteem issues, body dysmorphia, inability to recognize their full potentials. people with chiron in the 1st house struggles with maintaining their power in their environments. they view themselves as their biggest enemy. can lead to them having envy towards others, feeling the need to work twice as hard, and feeling unnoticed or recognized for all the wrong things. they feel misrepresented and fear that everything they work for and accomplish means nothing if they cannot associate the energy to the body. they are very mindful, conscious; however they can be too overly aware that they begin to become delusional and biased to their own negative thinking. these people heal through helping others, as they've been with an internal battle towards themselves since youth. these people can sympathize easier with others and bring a comfortable energy, healing energy. unfortunately for them though, their biggest demise is their inability to recognize that their flaws are normal and they are beautiful mentally, spiritually, and physically once they overcome this burden.
chiron in 2nd - these people have a hard time finding their overall aesthetic, the things that they can attach themselves to, the way they can finally represent themselves. usually, they find themselves leeching off others to fit in. they might have grown up not having what other people around them had, which can make them jealous, or overtime become stingy with their belongings. these people switch their style often according to the fashion, and might have been bullied for things they wore, their home, or their expression. chiron in 2nd can have a habit of becoming very materialistic once the comparisons worsen. this placement can make for a very good work ethic; however it can lead to their demise trying to constantly be just like everyone else. their biggest fear is exclusion and missing out from the rest of the world. the way these people can heal from this is to accept their lifestyle as is, and not to shame their upbringing. as they get older it usually becomes less of a problem, but here and there it can lead to an "over-perfectionist" attitude which will leave tension for as long as they have this habit.
chiron in 3rd - these people will have a difficult time trying to vocalize their feelings, thoughts, and emotions. often feels invisible when voicing their opinions, invisible sometimes. they feel that they are silenced and ignored far too much. can make them feel depressed, lonely, or lack a social life. might also have a hard time concentrating on tasks, or always feeling hazy about unrelated things. there's so much that goes through these people's minds, but they never communicate it because they feel like they are going to be dismissed anyway. they have a passive communication style which can result to them feeling powerless often. these people need to learn how to advocate for themselves and stand up to express it. the challenging part for these people will be the lack of confidence, get yourself out there first and then become comfortable overtime, it can help tremendously. these people learn when it is too late for them, getting speech therapy, developing new bonds, can all help this person get over this fear of being dimmed.
chiron in 4th - the biggest struggle you will face will be with your family life. at home you feel restless, damaged, and traumatized. there's a lack of foundation or love from parents, siblings, relatives, where you have felt disconnected. could have dealt with abuse- physical, mental, emotional, and changed your perception of trust and made it hard for you to find comfort in your public life. your chiron might directly oppose your midheaven, which if that is the case you will probably deal with family members that paint you to be someone you're not, or can mess with your career and future negatively. these people feel a lack of security and worries of being abandoned or sends their love to all the wrong places. lots of emotional repression will keep these people in a burden. it is important for these people to realize that to break away from this chain they need to forgive and excel. accept the damage and be extremely careful of people who might take advantage of your emotional wellbeing. do not be easily swayed by false promises, or people who move fast with you, establish long and trust worthy connections to heal from your traumas.
chiron in 5th - you had a repressing childhood, this made you feel like an off-putting kid at times, felt that you never had a chance to shine, or your talents were dismissed by others. anytime you wanted to express all your desires, they made it seem like it was unattainable, and that your imagination was far too big for the things you could achieve. probably also villainized by parents who didn't understand your need for freedom and viewed it as rebellious. felt like others could have fun apart from you. felt detached from a young age from not being able to put all your energy into something that you were genuinely interested. made fun of for your confidence, or your expression. can also represent some childhood trauma from parents, even friends. you might have looked at other kids a lot and envied them for being more "popular" than you. as these people get older, chiron in 5th people will still deal with comments that they don't have what it takes to pursue their goals, or that they are given less chances than others. to heal from these things, chiron in 5th must let go of misconceptions others have on them and go for what their heart desires most. channel your confidence through your talents and let it speak for itself.
chiron in 6th - similar to chiron in 1st, these people can deal with body dysmorphia and self-image issues. however, their biggest struggle is their health overall. they may feel overly stressed, overly unfit, overly lazy, etc. they will have a tendency to over analyze the normal things they deal with. they are perfectionists, want everything to be exactly how they plan. if somethings don't go as planned, they fear that they aren't good enough and that they've ruined everything they have worked for. can have a bad outlook on eating, exercising, and working if they let their self-esteem issues become a burden. does not take criticism lightly even if it is constructive, doesn't like to be commented on regarding their routines and work ethics. they have great determination and ambition, but this can lead to an unhealthy burn out. they are their biggest critics, and they must succumb to realize that their patterns of overly repetitive behaviors need to be minimized. physical health is important, but so is your mental health. they tend to blur these two and forget that they must feel good inside to feel good outside. shift focus onto positive things about yourself, dramatic and good changes can com from it.
chiron in 7th - this doesn't necessarily mean these people have a hard time in relationships, but they feel unfulfilled when they are in one. they are committed and devoted, until they feel their partner has betrayed them in some way- it is easy for these people to feel betrayed. might deal with excessive legal issues- many tickets, court dates, divorces/marriages, documents, identity theft, list goes on. they hate feeling forced and shaped by others. they typically feel insecure that their partner doesn't appreciate them enough, and that they must change for them. they go through relationships like it's a bump in the road- not because they don't care, but because they genuinely feel their heart deserves to be in better hands than the ones that have dealt with it. this person can either be very slow or very fast in relationships. they prefer a slower relationship where there is mutual understanding and consistent appreciation. but once this is not reciprocated or balanced, chiron will seek out some other form of love and this can strain connections. they must learn to be fair and listen equally to their partners, avoid judgement right away and emphasize being graceful even through tough times of people doing them dirty.
chiron in 8th - has a hard time connecting to their shadow self. feels they have dealt with too much, that they would rather just leave it unacknowledged. however, it lingers to them everywhere they go actually. they read people and have hypersensitivity to settings. these people have a hard time processing change, life-death, anything transformative, this person fears the unknown. they fear that if they tap too deep into themselves that they will not like the things they find. sometimes it is hard for them to connect with others on a deep level because they are scared of intimacy, there's a struggle with filling their voids and go through all their dark times alone. they carry a weight of shame because they feel that it is somehow deserved for them to feel trapped into their darkness. the biggest thing these people need to realize is that fighting their inner-self makes a bad situation already worse. do not be afraid to discover yourself, restart if you have to, life is meant for you to go above and beyond for yourself and not just others. once you start listening to yourself, you can discern your negative emotional patterns and finally stop holding it in. many of your creative blockages come from simply holding back. stop resisting the new discoveries and embrace them.
chiron in 9th house - on a spiritual/religious level, you feel that you are choosing the wrong things for yourself. this usually stems from a lack of freedom. you might have been raised into a very religious household and held on to remnants of it as you got older, but never really questioned it until you grew up. can feel that you are sometimes stuck in the same place for too long, you rely on life carrying you instead of yourself. you stop prioritizing the role you play in YOUR life, and instead expect other things to come and save you. you find yourself living in "auto-pilot" a little too much. you only play it safe because it is all you know, do not be afraid to take risks and question everything. go to different locations, travel, study philosophies, religions, learn more. be abundant in your morals. sometimes you can feel that you are a bystander in your own life or that you keep yourself in this shadow because you haven't tapped into it yet. your biggest fear is not knowing, or seeming like an "air-head," as you get older this becomes less prevalent, as you have experienced much of life, however, do not be afraid to experience things because you can heal yourself and others while trying new things. make sure you are firm in everything you believe in.
chiron in 10th - these people can be ridiculed for their professions, or in their professions. workplace might feel toxic to you, usually chiron in 10th will experience these issues later on in life. feels that they cannot properly express themselves in the field they want or aren't sure of the field they want to go into. often, they can feel misguided by people in their lives swaying them to go after something that doesn't quite click with you. can lack immense confidence in starting their own business, developing work connections, or even working at all. they might overly work to compensate for other areas of their life which they struggle with. you might clash heads with people at your job, be perceived as uncertain or unwilling. you might feel that you stick out like a sore thumb amongst the others. you notice that you do a lot for less in return. biggest thing for these people to realize is they owe nobody nothing, keeping a clean attitude and a consistent drive is enough for them to be successful. as long as you maintain good spirit with others and don't allow room for petty gossip, your career and idolized life can be just how you like it. you must learn to let go of this vision of feeling less than your peers.
chiron in 11th - feels out of place, oftentimes does not "fit in" with the crowd and doesn't bother to. this can sometimes lead to an overly isolated personality. for the chiron in 11th, this can be unhealthy and lead to an avoidant mentality. probably dealt with many problems relating their bonds all throughout their lives, and eventually stopped caring to meet others expectation. felt like the odd one out, never felt that they shared the same morals or mindset as the people around them. usually keeps a very small circle and it is probably with creative partners like through their work life. bullied for being different, being more problem-solving than drown in misery kind, and not expressing themselves the same as their fellow peers. they have an ability to understand others who feel the same exact way, they love depth and relatability, however had a hard time finding this in others. loves to question norms, loves to feel accepted by people who also come with some damage. these people need people who can take them as they are and not question their differences. they felt shamed for this while they were younger, but as they get older, they realize it doesn't matter what others think. being different is your biggest lesson that you gradually had to accept, and once you have then you will feel less insecure to take on all your goals.
chiron in 12th - spiritually wounded, hard time with understanding what you are feeling. hard to make sense of why you feel the way you do sometimes, often leads to lash outs, breakdowns, insomnia, difficulty with the unknown as well. biggest fear is feeling uncertain with their instincts. bullied for their maturity or not meeting up to expectations people had on your when you were younger. often expecting you to know everything when you don't. experience severe withdrawals when facing pressure and hides behind facades to seem like it doesn't deeply affect them. often gullible to the words of others because their own words feel faint to them. feels incapable of their power, feels that they are not enough to hold judgement that is useful. fears of being alone, usually clings onto the company of others due to the hardship they face with being alone with their thoughts. has reoccurring nightmares, envisions things that aren't happening in real-time, feels that they are suffering on the inside to the point where it leaves them in depressive cycles. the most important thing for chiron in 12th to remember is that nobody is above or below them- in terms of your power it is always with you. just because you don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. trust your judgements more-even if you are wrong. you lack experimenting with the little things sometimes, do not fall into an endless cycle of self-destruct, remember that you can make your fears work for you. figure out why you default-ly feel such a lack of security in the base of your mind. you are prone to stressing about things long before they happen, be present and collected.
thank u for reading, appreciate that you have made it this far. remember, that you are beautiful in your own skin and everything about you is completely fine the way it is. if these haven't applied to you then that is totally okay and i hope ease for these aspects of your life <3.
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I need a fic where pregnant reader feels so gross and unattractive but she doesnât realize Soobin is so down bad for pregnant her. Like he goes out of his way to show her just how turned on he is but nothing works, until one day he presses himself against her and it finally clicks for her and she gets the nastiest wetted sex of her life like heâs trying to get her pregnant again like ugh
⧌ đŒ ⧜ ââ GROWING PAINS ă
soobin needs you to know just how much he loves your new bodyă
â⥠pairing ăăchoi soobin x fem!reader ! genre ăăpure smut , fluff ! warning ăăminors do not interact! pregnant!reader , husband!soobin , pregnancy kink , lactation kink , breeding kink , dirty talk , praise kink , sub top!soobin , handjob (m.rec) , oral (f. rec) , mentions of unprotected sex
a/n ăănot proofread ! my first time writing pregnant!reader, so let me know if it sucks! also take a shot every time i use the word ânippleâ lol
⥠âžâž ê° 1.7k ê± â§ ê° m.list ê± â§ ê° reblogs and feedback appreciated! ê±
you had found a lot of solace in baking as of recentâ it was one of the few things you could still do this far along in your pregnancy, big belly and aching joints always getting in the way of everything else. you just couldnât stand the thought of laying around all day, wasting all of your maternity leave doing nothing except waiting for your husband to come home from work. you had to make yourself useful somehow.
you hear the front door open just as you slide your pie into the oven, the soft jingling of keys reaching your ears as your husband drops them in the trinket dish you keep in the hallway. before you can turn to greet him strong arms wrap themselves around your protruding belly, soobinâs tall frame hunched over to bury his face in your neck, plant sweet kisses to your skin.
âiâm home, bunny,â he mumbles against your collarbone, his trail of kisses slowly leading down your shoulder. âhow are my perfect girls doing?â
âhi honey, youâre home early,â you giggle, turning your head to give him a kiss; he hums against your lips, big hands rubbing your belly through the loose dress you wore. he was always extra touchy after getting home from work, but this was odd even for him. he must have had a bad day, you thought. ââm all sore ân tired; the twins woke me up from my nap and i couldnât go back to sleep so i decided to make dessert early so itâll be cooled down by tonight.â
âmm, youâre so good to me. iâm sorry the babies are bothering you, honey,â soobin replied, pressing his body flush against yours. âthe boss let me go early; i finished up that project he wanted done before the deadline, he said i needed to go home and help out my wife. go rest and iâll take care of you, iâve been thinking about you all day, babyâŠ.â
âoh, sweetie⊠well, i wouldnât mind a hand in cleaning up the kitchenââ you start, but stop dead in your tracksâ you can feel soobinâs cock against the swell of your ass, thick and heavy through his slacks. he rocks his hips up against you gently, an almost inaudible whimper falling from the bunny lips he buried in your hair.
âbinnie,â you whimper, arousal pooling in your belly despite your shock, âyouâre hard.â
ââm sorry, bunny,â he groans into your ear, deep and dripping with desire. it knocks the wind out of your lungs, makes you gasp against his lips when he leans in for another, filthier kiss. âyouâre just so sexy, iâve been needing you so bad⊠thinking about your beautiful body all day while trying to get my work done..â
you frown at the words âbeautiful bodyâ, squirming in your husbandâs grip. he notices in an instant, your sweet husband always so perceptive to how you were feeling; whining and pouting those plump bunny lips you adored. âi donât understand why youâre so self conscious⊠god, youâre so perfectâ this is the best youâve ever looked, you look so beautiful carrying my children, baby. it makes me so fucking crazy, you have no ideaâŠâ
âreally..?â you turn to look at him, and his eyes lock with yoursâ the raw hunger you find in his gaze is unlike anything you had ever seen before from your sweet, shy husband.
his hands caressed your tummy and hips, slid up your sides to cup your swollen, sensitive tits, bare underneath your dress. the gentlest squeeze was enough to get you to gasp and moan, your puffy nipples threatening to leak, soobin drinking up your reactions like he wishes to drink your milk. âlet me show you how much i love your body, pleaseâŠâ
âžâž
âbinnie, oh my god, slow down! youâre gonna make me cum again!â you wail, your hands shaking as they tug at the hem of your little dress. you couldnât see your husband over the swell of your belly, but you could feel his lips and tongue hot and heavy against your pussy, sliding up between your pussy lips to swirl around your clit. you were still recovering from the last orgasm he slurped out of you, your pussy drunk husband refusing to let up his onslaught of pleasure even as you cried, begged, and tugged at his hairâ far too soon was that dizzying pleasure building back up in your tummy, your thighs shaking in soobinâs grip as he pushed you further and further to the edge.
âfuck yes, do it, cum for me!â soobin moans with his mouth full, tongue dipping deep into your hole, big hands tightening their grip and tugging you impossibly closer. âcum on my face, baby, please! make a messâ!â
his desperation does you in; you cum again with a sharp cry, your overstimulated little pussy pulsating uncontrollably as soobin eagerly laps up every drop of your release. you soak your thighs, your dress, and the bed underneath youâ and, as soobin presses a kiss to your clit and pulls away from your slippery pussy to shoot you a silly, satisfied smile, you can see that youâve soaked the bottom half of his face as well. it drips from his chin as he crawls up over you, his eyes slowly trailing from your flushed face down to your quivering tits.
and just as he takes in the sight of your heaving chest, his eyes widen and his mouth drops agape. confused, you follow his gaze⊠and take in the sight of two identical wet patches seeping through your white dress, your puffy nipples visible and budding noticeably through the fabric.
you had leaked milk in the midst of your climax.
âoh god,â you whine shamefully, raising your hands to attempt to hide the mess. âiâm so sorry, donât lookââ
soobin grabs your wrists in a rush before you could cover yourself, big brown eyes still glued to your tits. âfuck, bunny..â he marvels, licking his lips, âdid i make you do that? thatâs so sexy, holy shitââ
âs-sexy?â you stammer, shocked at his reaction. soobin nods.
âcan i touch?â he asks in almost a whisper, eyes finally leaving your chest to blink up at you wantonly âplease let me touch you, please..â
a hesitant âokayâŠâ was all that he needed, instantly letting go of your wrists to tug down the top of your dress and take large handfuls of your breasts. more milk leaks out onto his fingers from the rough handling, making him groan deep in his chest as he marvels at the sight of the pearly white droplets cascading down the swell of your tits. your spent, sensitive pussy throbs at the sound, your husband sounding so unbelievably ruined and needy.
âso prettyâŠâ soobin mumbles, wet fingertips beginning to pinch and tweak at your embarrassingly hard nipples. âmy wifeâs so pretty with my babies in her belly. gonna be such a good mommy⊠god bunny, i want to keep you pregnant forever, all full of me, claimed by me, so everyone knows youâre mineâ!â
his fingers tighten harshly around your nipples, the pressure causing your milk to squirt out obscenely; soobin watches in awe, his eyes hazy and unfocused as he pants like a dog, kneads your sensitive swollen tits rougher and rougher. you fist the bedsheets and writhe under his touch, your high-pitched, broken gasps and moans reverberating off the walls of your shared bedroomâ briefly you have half the mind to pray that your neighbors arenât home.
soobin dips his head to nose along the contours of your breast, his hot breath tickling your skin; those spit-slick bunny lips just barely ghost your bud, a jolt of electricity shooting down your spine as his tongue sneaks out to lap the lingering milk off of your skin.
he looks up at you with watery eyes, smirk plastered on his lips at your pathetic whimper. âcan i.. can i have a taste?â he asks quietly, deep voice octaves lower than youâve ever heard it. âlet me taste youâŠplease, baby, i canât take it anymoreâŠâ
you nod desperately, throwing your head back against the pillows, and soobin shoots you a deadly smirk before sealing his lips around your nipple.
he lets out a deep moan as his mouth fills with milk, sucking with a voracious hunger; you cry out in pleasure, letting go of the sheets to grab desperately at his dark hair. you tug mindlessly at the strands as his suction deepens, soobin letting out the prettiest choked whimper that goes straight to your quickly wetting pussy.
he sucks until your tit runs dry, pulling off of your irritated bud with an obscene string of salivaâ wordlessly he moves on to your other neglected nipple, his fingers coming back up to play with the one he released. the combined sensations are almost too much for you, your shaking legs wrapping tight around soobinâs trim waist; you can feel the curve of his rock hard cock grind against your dripping cunt, drenching the thin fabric of his boxers and aiding in the delicious slide of his hot fat shaft against your slit. your pussy suddenly feels so painfully empty, your hips bucking in desperation as soobin empties your other breast of milk. âyou feel what you do to me?â he mumbles against your flesh, hips picking up speed, âfeel how hard you make me?â
the hand you had in soobinâs hair trails down his chest to his straining cock, rubbing his twitching shaft through his boxers; soobin cries out around your nipple, his hips stuttering, and you canât help but giggle as you dip your hand below his waistband.
the tip of his cock throbs an angry red, thick fat shaft slapping wetly against his taut belly. âall this for me?â you purr, gathering the precum dripping from his cockhead to slick up your hand; it only takes a few slow pumps of his cock to get soobin begging, your poor husband wound up and aching for release.
âplease, please baby, let me fuck youâ i gotta fuck you, iâm so hard it hurts,â he whimpers, releasing your tit with a wet pop, âgotta fill you up, put more babies in you⊠gonna be such a happy family..â
what kind of wife would you be to say no?
#txt x reader#soobin x reader#txt hard hours#txt hard thoughts#txt smut#txt fluff#soobin hard thoughts#soobin hard hours#soobin smut#soobin fluff
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astro thoughts : short n sweet <3 the beauty of venus
Venus in the 1st house wants to be loved for more than their appearance. They have the gift of gab just like their mercurial friends. You can forgive them easier than any other person because of their charm holding their appearance/personality together. Much more easier to like, but they do have a dark side no one knows about.
Venus in the 2nd house does not play around when getting to the money. Entrepreneurs by a long slide. But they don't tell you how they get their money ;) Sugar daddy placement, much like the 8th house, but its a little different. Its transactional only. Relationships usually need them to be on the receiving end only for their satisfaction. Have an appetite for money making tactics a lot more than any other second house placement (mercury & saturn being runner ups).
Venus in the 3rd house has a whimsical energy tied to it. Individuals with this placement have a lust for live, just the drive to their destination can bring them joy. Its like they live every day in the moment, inspiring us with what they find in the process.
Venus in the 4th house has a beautiful family. There relationships with family members could be up to par, they could be the favorite sibling or they generally just get a long with everybody. The downside to this placement could be that their family has full of secrets as this is a private house normally. They normally keep a lot about themselves at bay from the public (opposite to the 10th) and most never know them unless you are REALLY close to them, even then its just a mystery.
Venus in the 5th house are the charismatic personalities people adore. There players and can have anyone they want and its usually all fun and games until they meet their match. These are the royal lovers so their very choosy. What I like about this placement is they do not mind constantly getting to know people. They are almost always talking to new people as the dating scene is their playground.. its really what they came here for. They are meant to live a life full of playfulness, inspiration, and luxurious lifestyle if they allow themselves to get it.
Venus in the 6th house are powerhouses when they go for what is meant for them. They need a new routine to make themselves feel good. If they gotta get up and do their makeup to make themselves feel better than that'll do it. If they gotta workout everyday to get that dream body, then their up for the challenge. They love to be of service to people, but they have to remember they cannot always help people with their responsibilities.
Venus in the 7th house are truly popular individuals and they can be well liked by mostly everyone they come across. The thing about this placement is that I have noticed is that they can typically get in a lot of disputes with others. Could be seen as fake and wishy washy to some, but the best friend to others. It doesn't matter there kind of isn't a in between. They do have a nice personality and can keep up the charm with a lot of people. Can get what they want out of others in personal relationships mostly.
Venus in the 8th house have a deep bond with themselves and this chemistry have with their individualism is seen by others and it changes the way people view them. Others may like them for what they do for them and they can feel pretty used up if they are not careful. People want them for their looks and this can be annoying somethings. They gave a transformative bond with their relationships for better or for worse. If they focus on themselves this energy can work for their benefit and theirs alone.
Venus in the 9th house has a deep bond with the universe in a way that makes them more transparent with themselves and they way they feel about life. They live a long time finding the true meaning of life but in each day, each hour, each moment they can find the gift in what the world brings. They are capable of finding that their is more than what meets the eye, and their inspirational in the conquest of it all. Their gift is in the eye of jupiter, in which they see things in a whole nother view than others. And they have a way of sharing that information that they get from just walking outside or being home alone with their thoughts.
Venus in the 10th house are very well known for their beauty, the compassionate nature, their ability to meet their eyes with the crowd and just borderline energetic individuals. Even if bad news comes out about them, the public usually ignores this and focus more on their talents and personality. I feel this placement is a life saver. Can keep these people from the wrong energy at times, even if its impossible to get away from.
Venus in the 11th house can show a potential for having good company around them. Very sweet and compelling natives, their hearts are super big and can be really helpful to others on a day to day basis. Can genuinely be a people pleaser but this can work out for them some days. Could be popular on social media.
Venus in the 12th house have an alluring nature to them. These are the type of people that can hypnotize you and suddenly youre somewhere you have never been. They can take you on a journey with just their mind alone. They are gifted in the arts, a lot of celebs tend to have this placement. They are a gift to be around and not everyone is allowed to be around them. They can be sort of obsessive when it comes to something or someone they love. This is where the good art can come from. Very mysterious creatures, they move like a siren.
#astrology thoughts#astrology#astrology theories#astrology observations#tropical astrology#astro observations#astro knowledge#spirituality#venus in the houses#deja's astro observations
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Made smooth and slick of seas and strands Tides that turn at your commands A heartbeat held by heavy hands
More Kaijja character writing. Roughly 1200 words on the beginning of her romantic relationship with the flesh god.
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He does not mind solitude, but when you lack other obligations he does not mind your intrusion either. It is perhaps not usual, but it is natural to be fascinated with a god. You intrude often. You call it an extension of work, and the two of you do work through problems together. He was surprised, once upon a time, when he inflicted experience on you to demonstrate the severity of his edicts and you, not unshaken but still engaged, asked if he felt such detail in the experience of every person he faced. He had not been asked to use his power as a tool of empathy, not after imposing such suffering, not in centuries, but it is commonplace between you now. You wonder to what extent he can feel you enjoy it, even when it is excruciating. And the intellectual exercise is useful. Many times simulation of similar encounters has helped you watch for signs of tension, has made you more perceptive to the way your interlocutors conduct themselves and react to you. It is practical, and there is a quiet selfish pleasure in understanding the way he sees and feels the world.
Mirjat tells you it is unusual for Iokhar's Advocate to be his friend, or even to like the man, and you understand that but you do not relate. He is beautiful when he attempts to be terrifying, he is rational when he cannot intimidate, he is deeply intensely perceptive, and in his own stoic way he is oddly soft. Perhaps kind is a better word. He cares much more deeply than he shows. There is a selfish little thrill in that as well, knowing that you have brought out in him qualities most others never see. Knowing that you surprise him, a man who can feel everything but your thoughts just standing across from you. You accomplish a great deal in your tenure, but it is this that most often produces that quiet sense of pride.
He shows you change. In theory this is to make a point, but the point is unnecessary. You are not asking about something of immediate importance. It is after hours and you are asking about a story, about old scripture, from a primary source. This is not uncommon, and alongside speaking in words he chooses to sate a curiosity he knows you will have. When he has pulled you back together into the right shape you grin up at him. He studies you, near expressionless, and says "This is inappropriate." It is the strangest declaration of love you will ever receive, and you see it for what it is immediately. It should shock you, but somehow it does not. You agree. The evening ends with a veneer of stoic professionalism.
You will talk about it the next day. You will talk about it for the next week. You will see a degree of begrudging openness from him that you will not realize has been kept from you until you see it for the first time. You seek counsel, as is the responsible thing to do, but find that there is very little doubt as to the choice you will make. Mirjat appeals to your career, to the work that you've done, to the work that you might still do, and you find the arguments that have driven you all your life unconvincing.
You split your evenings between discussions with Iokhar and your own private consideration. You know the thrill of new intimacy will cloud your judgment, and he does too, but you both recognize that no matter what decision the two of you make your relationship will change. The idea of a purely professional relationship absent discussions of philosophy, history, art and other work feels galling, having experienced a relationship that is mutually irreplaceable. Later the idea of being irreplaceable to him will raise warmth in your chest and bring a smile to your face, but in that week while you assess it is simply a fact to be weighed. You are problem solving. Your feelings are data, but you do not have time to feel them fully. Only that they tell you what you want. You will resign with two weeks left in the season and half a term unfinished. It will take you most of the remaining two weeks working with your Clericy to choose Devadas as a successor, swear him in as Kalidas, and get him up to speed.
You already spend a great deal of time working during the on season, but for the better part of two weeks private time is practically nonexistent. This is a major adjustment, expected by no one, and by the time Iokhar leaves Kalidas must be prepared to represent him fully in the Council of Advocates. Anything you knew, anything you were working on, must be written down in such detail that it can be picked up where you left off. While you will join the Clericy of Iokhar, thus becoming available as a resource, it will take another month for the Clericy of the Petitioner Saints to determine this is the appropriate course of action and you must prepare for the contingency in which your full abdication from governance is determined necessary. It is not until the final night that you and your god finally have proper time together again. You sit quietly for much of it. He holds you and seems unpracticed, which to be fair you are as well. A decade is not a short time. A century and a half is longer. Yet, for all that, the mere ten months in front of you suddenly seems very long indeed.
"I would hear your voice when I am gone," he tells you, and it is less vulnerability than simple truth.
"I'd love to hear yours too," you say with irony, "but I suppose one of us will have to wait."
"I will not shirk my duties," he says, "But--"
"I would not ask you to." He pauses and then drops the apology. "Come back next season with stories for me." You smile as if this is a usual farewell, a friendship set aside to be picked up where it left off upon his return.
Very calmly, he takes your hand in his and matches his gaze to yours. For the first time you can feel the sensation of his own body mapped to yours, and you feel his quiet simmering hunger for you, individual fibers of his being humming beneath his skin for touch that a human lover could never even pretend. You feel it in the strands of your own muscles, suddenly yearning to rise up from beneath your skin and embrace the man in front of you. It is nearly overwhelming. Your breath catches and you do not dare break his gaze for fear it might stop. His voice is a low rumble in his chest. "I will."Â
It is a greater promise than you asked for. It will stick with you during the long months of his absence, haunting your prayers and quiet moments and intruding on your activities unprompted. Â
Upon his return, he will admit that this was the point.
#d&d character#d&d#artists on tumblr#body horror#digital art#Inland Sea Campaign#kaijja#iokhar#writing
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I can't stop thinking munch!spencer x reader who's insecure about having thick thighs (it's me, I'm reader)
take a seat | s.r
hi thank u for requesting!! i tried to be ambiguous about readerâs size but if it doesnât come across that way lemme know and ill fix it!!!
wc: 1.7k
cw: 18+ smut minors dni, afab reader, face sitting, munch!spencer my beloved, insecure!reader who i took to be a little self indulgent sorry, fluff, hurt comfort but no hurt lol
this is also not proofread sorry
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the thing about spencer is if you have any fear or qualm about anything, his main verbal form of comfort is information. and itâs not a bad thing, not at all. finding comfort in the facts is what spencer hopes to achieve when he spews his tidbits. itâs just, sometimes itâll do more harm than good, or even worse, do nothing at all.
thatâs where youâre at right now, sitting in spencerâs room with your legs tucked under you while he sits up at the head of the bed. the top buttons of his dress shirt are undone, tie strewn somewhere in the room. youâre still fully clothed albeit in a loose t shirt and some panties. the want in his eyes is undeniable, his question still lingering in the air.
you werenât exactly the most confident person, but was anyone really? did people really wake up in the morning, look at themselves in the mirror and say, âwow, i look beautiful today.â? tell themselves theyâre going to have a good day because they said so?
so when youâd spent your whole life living in the shadows trying to blend in and just do your job, one day an ever observant spencer reid saw you struggling to carry your coffee and your bag into the bullpen and came to your rescue before it could spill all over you. you were a mumbling mess, uttering thank youâs and iâm so sorrys and iâll be more careful next time. but his gaze on you was unwavering, even in the face of your uneasiness, and firmly but softly told you nothing was wrong, and suggested that maybe you and him should get coffee before work to avoid this rush next time.
falling in love with him was too easy after that.
spencer never failed to make you feel cherished, loved, safe, always going above and beyond to care for your needs and wants. the trust you had in him was immense and you knew he would never steer you astray.
so sitting in front of him on his bed while he adorns a small smirk asking, no telling, you to sit on his face, made you falter a bit.
âyou want me, to sit on your face?â
he nods, âyeah.â
any thought youâve ever had vanishes from your brain, âbâbut, wonât it be uncomfortable? for you?â
ânot at all.â
seeing spencer be surprisingly calm about this is having the opposite effect on you, creating the unsettlement in your gut. like heâs been thinking about this for while, has wanted you at his mercy in a way you havenât experienced before, has thought through all the facts and possibilities and ruled with absolute certainty that this was what he wanted, needed. and right now your body is betraying your mind as the heat pools between your legs.
but that brain of yours, a blessing with its vast knowledge but a curse at how easily a single thought can send you into a deep spiral, is working overtime to convince you that this isnât really what he wants.
he can see the cogs working overtime and scoots closer to you and places a comforting hand on your thigh to rub soothing shapes with his thumb, âwhatâs going on in that pretty little head of yours?â
ânothing i-â you stop before you can get too deep.
his eyes look at you expectantly, luring you to continue.
âwhat if i hurt you?â
âthat is literally impossible.â
âwhat if i suffocate you?â
âthen that would be a great way to go out.â he chuckles.
you lightly slap his leg, âstop that.â
he gestures you closer to sit curled into his side, a comforting arm smoothing you up and down. âif you really donât want to do it thatâs okay i donât want to push you, just want you to feel good sâall.â
you ponder for a minute, ââŠyou would tell me if itâs too much right?â
âi would,â he nods, âbut i wonât need to.â
he squeezes your hand in reassurance, and you remember that spencer reid would never lie to you.
which is why you say, âokay.â
his eyes light up like a carnival, âyeah?â
you take a deep breath, âyeah.â
âcome here,â cupping your cheek to bring in and kiss you.
it starts off slow, deliberate. like he wants you to know how much he appreciates you placing your trust in his possession, and how gently and carefully heâs going to take care of it.
you hike a leg over his lap to straddle him and wrap your arms around his neck, letting his lips mark you like a road map. he moves down your jaw and uses his nose to nudge your neck away, giving him better access to litter the skin with love bites.
the moans spilling from your mouth spur him on, he starts subconsciously bucking his hips up causing you to grow restless for more.
he senses this and motions for you to lift up on your knees above him so he can slide his body down flat between your legs. the warm palms of his hands rest where your thighs meet the swell of your ass.
you look down at the sight of him laid out for you, and catch his shit eating grin staring back. the dichotomy this position gives you with a sense of power to be over him like this but the vulnerability at feeling so exposed caused a swirl of emotions for you.
âhey,â he squeezes his palms laid on your ass, âif this is a lot, thatâs okay.â
âno, no.i think i want this. iâm just scared.â you softly admit.
ânothing to be scared of, angel. itâs not like i havenât eaten you out before, itâs just a different position,â his hands move closer to your core, âlet me make you feel good, please.â
you stare into his eyes once more, being met with nothing but trust and lust for you. with a deep breath, you nod your head.
he smirks again, âalright sweetheart, take a seat.â
you slowly inch your body up his own, hearing him outwardly groan as your cunt came into his line of sight.
âjesus fuck, you have the prettiest pussy.â
you preen at his words once youâve reached the position, and you hover in hesitation. he wraps his arms under and around your legs and gently pulls you down.
and he attacks you like a man starved. his tongue licking a full stripe up your cunt, letting it swirl around your clit. the feeling is so intense in this position you have to lean forward and brace yourself on the headboard.
with a gasp you whine out his name, âoh my god, fuck.â he continues to use his tongue to barrel you towards your peak, knowing exactly where to touch and lick to rile you up.
he can tell youâre still holding back, feeling the tense muscles in your upper thighs harden under his touch. with a sharp tug he pulls you to be seated fully on his face, and he lets out a deep groan that vibrates through your whole body.
youâre fully at his mercy now, held down by his large hands and his mouth working so hard to make you see stars. the pleasure is overtaking all of your senses, when you look down to meet his eyes theyâre staring right back at you, reveling in your ecstasy. a languished moan leaves you as you tangle your hands in his hair and pull.
he laps up your arousal with urgency, tongue moving in such a delicate and intricate way you would think heâs writing a love letter with it.
the coil in your gut starts to tighten and you can feel your peak coming fast, âspenceâŠâ you whine.
he hums in response, silently acknowledging what you mean. one more slow lick up and down your slit was all it took to push you overboard. the endorphins rush over you like a tsunami as you try to ride out the wave of your orgasm.
spencer doesnât stop his motions and continues to work your overly sensitive clit, gripping your legs tighter to him as he prevents you from escaping.
âshit, oh god baby, you need to stâstop.â you brokenly moan out. you tug on his hair hard as you try to release his grip on you, and after a few minutes he takes pity and lets you go.
you let out a big and tired sigh as you flop to the side of him, one leg still draped over him as youâre both panting heavily, attempting to come down from the heat of the moment.
he smoothes out the leg over him with his hand and turns to face you, face plastered with a stupid grin and glistening with you.
âsee? that wasnât so bad.â
you scoff breathlessly, âi think maybe youâre trying to kill me.â
âmaybe,â he laughs, â but you liked it right?â
you nod bashfully, âdid youâŠlike it?â
his eyes widen, âare you kidding? you looked so hot it drove me insane. youâre always so beautiful but having you like thatâŠi like making you feel good, it makes me feel really good, and that is a win-win.â
you smile at him and move closer to fit under his arm and into his side, your hand resting on his chest. he tightens his arm around you and whisper, âi love you.â
âi love you too,â you say through hooded eyes. your hand starts trailing lower, âmust have been really good for you seeing how painful this looks.â you softly say, gesturing to the aching bulge in his boxers, the dark patch stained by precum.
his breath hitches as you inch closer, âbaby, no itâs okay. you donât have to do thââ the sentence gets cut off when your hand gives him a tentative squeeze.
âi donât have to, but i want to. i should thank you somehow for making me feel so good,â your voice dropping an octave in lust, âwill you let me show my thanks, honey?â
you stare at him with the sultriest doe eyes heâs ever seen, and heâs thoroughly convinced in that moment that you are, in fact, trying to kill him.
still a great way to go out, he thinks.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid imagine#doctor spencer reid#dr spencer reid#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fanfiction
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DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game
Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he canât stop a threat that originates on earth (thatâs something heâll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers werenât the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter.Â
Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entranceâŠheâs stopped.
The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his armyâs advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. Thatâs when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon canât get through yet Constantine also explains that itâs not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge.Â
And thatâs when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isnât a King Danny AU though).
And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get throughâŠ.is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game.Â
Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. Itâs like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with PokĂ©mon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and letâs play.
(The most intense card game of the Justice leagueâs life).
After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. Heâs really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely).Â
Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like âawww how cuteâ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they arenât spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.
#DPxDC#Kizzer55555 ideas#Danny makes a card game to save the world.#Technically he worded the ritual so that they had to âbeatâ him as those are the most powerful barriers and most reliable.#keys can just get lost or stolen (like the one to Pariahâs Coffin)#A riddle would be useless once someone figured out the answer. Like how no one takes the sphynx seriously anymore.#(Sorry Tuck. But itâs true).#And there is NO WAY Danny is just leaving a hole open for anyone to pass through. No thank you!#SoâŠbeating him. But itâs not like Danny wanted to fight soâŠhe edited the ritual a TINY bit. Card games are good. Much less painful too.#Danny Tucker and Sam made the most complicated card game they could imagine.#Itâs based on their strategies for fighting ghosts. Capturing them in thermoses. And MUCH based on a on field battle strategy.#It often requires spontaneous thinking on the spot. So Danny? In his ELEMNT. It doubles as practice for his actual ghost battles too.#They had SO much fun making this.#Sam added an entire series of plant cards that act as traps and healing ointments and duds that just take up the field.#Tucker added legitimate hyroglyphics combined with Latin as well as English and ghost speak.#Yes. You actually have to speak that language to play. With proper pronunciation. (Amity Parkerâs think the three are talking gibberish.)#I headcanon Sam and Tucker are fluent in Ghost.#Constantine WILL figure this game out SO HELP HIM!#Some of the cards also have combinations related to constellations either in name or placement on the board.#By the way the board is based on a Hexagonal summoning circle with Rhunes along the edges#And the placement of the cards on the board and on what rhune MATTERS.#Also the cards move disintegrate and have certain abilities. Think of Harry Potter Wizard Chess.#But they are normal when Danny plays at school. This is just for âšeffectâš Against invaders.#Danny faces multiple opponents. He also halts alien invasions.#While Danny COULD stop crime on earth heâs not sure how to fight a normal human and hold back so he sticks to ghosts.#The Justice league are going crazy trying to figure out who this entity is and after deep research are convinced this is some sort of#Ancient being who has protected earth for millenia. They have paintings on ruins and everything.#Danny is not aware they think this.#Raven starts praying to Danny as if he is a god and wrangles the other Teen Titans into doing so as well. Danny is still unaware of this.#Danny is not a King or an ancient. Just a very VERY strong ghost.
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⧠đŹđđđđđđđđ đșđđđđđđđđđđđ đđ đ â§
-Things I say may not resonate with you as everyoneâs birth chart are very different and impacts them in different ways. These are just some observations Iâve made over the years dealing with different placements. Hope you enjoy!-
⥠Libra risings you natives are so pretty, you have such a charming and fun energy. You can seem sort of delicate, you just radiate a warm/soft energy that makes people love being around you.
⥠When Virgo risings dress nice or in elegant/sophisticated clothes they look absolutely incredible! The attention to detail they have for certain outfits is amazing, and looking put together will help to calm some anxiety they may have.
⥠Aries risings radiate independence. They have a natural older sibling energy to them. You know that they get stuff done and will always be strong enough to take on tasks that others may shy away from. They are also stunning and like to embrace their confidence! They tend to care about the clothes they wear and like to look good. These natives remind me of the color red.
⥠Gemini moons will pull out the most random facts at the most random times. They really are a whole world of stored knowledge that they may never use, just find interesting to know about. These natives love to learn and can pride themselves on their intelligence or use their intelligence to one up others.
⥠Capricorn moons are another placement that radiates independence. They may have taken care of themselves a lot as a child and learned to be on their own.
⥠Taurus risings love to be comfortable! This can be seen through clothing, home-life or habits they have. They need stability and security, wanting to relax when they can. They can also be big foodies! These people are really nice to be around, their energy is very calm and grounded, allowing those with scattered minds a place to settle down.
⥠Libra placements can never make up their minds. Indecision runs through them and it can be very stressful, especially when they are faced with difficult decisions.
⥠Venus in the 10th house natives are very career oriented. They may have spent many years working towards their career and goals which led to personal relationships being put on the back-burner. However, this might not trouble them as they find their pride and passion in the work they do.
⥠Chiron in the fourth house could have had a very difficult childhood and home life. They may have felt isolated which led to feelings of self-doubt.
⥠Sun Trine Moon is such a beautiful aspect to have. You natives have such a kind heart and a youthful soul. Handling emotions is very difficult, especially with your sensitive nature, yet, you are able to approach your emotions with intelligence and grace. There is intrigue and mystery surrounding you, people may want to discover you more and more, as you draw people in wherever you go.
đŁđ±đȘđ·đŽ đđžđŸ đŻđžđ» đ»đźđȘđđČđ·đ°! *:ïŸâ§
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Spending the night at Simon's for the first time and him waking up to you in nothing but his oversized t shirt
Request from here
***
Eyes blinking as light filtered through his closed lids, Simon began to stir as the first bit of the days brightness filled the small bedroom of his tiny apartment. Slowly those thick, long limbs of his stretched their compressed muscles back to life as the blood flowed through them.
Turning over, he was surprised that there wasn't another body laying next to him under the covers; your bright eyes and warm smile were what he had planned to gaze upon, but there was no one. That put him a little on edge, this being the first time you'd stayed over at his shitty little apartment, but he tried to keep calm until he was fully awake.
Simon moved up onto his elbow as he lay on his side, his large hand rubbing the rest of the sleep that lingered from out of his eyes. He looked about, trying to find any signs of you: your discarded clothes from the night before lay in a pile on the floor right next to your shoes, your earrings still sat on the bedside table, and as he checked the mattress with his hand he found that it was still warm. It was obvious you were still around, he just had to go and find you.
A full yawn passed his lips before he heard the sound of clinks and taps, bangs and rustling coming from towards the kitchen area. So that's where you'd sulked off to, making breakfast no doubt.
God you were too fucking much, he wasn't used to all this sweetness, but he wouldn't change it for anything.
Carefully and quietly he moved out of the bed, scratching at the sparse covering of hair on his bare chest before he stood and straightened his sweatpants around his hips. He was hoping he could surprise you by showing up to catch you in the act.
With easy steps, Simon walked out of the bedroom towards the kitchen and what he saw standing there amidst pots and pans, a stack of toast and a pile of bacon to your right, it took his goddamn breath away.
The expectation was to find you naked, since the only clothes you had were still on his bedroom floor, but that wasn't what he found at all. Your hair had been pulled up, a few stray hairs poking out around your hairline that hadn't been secured and it looked like the only thing you had on was one of his old baggy t shirts.
As you moved, Simon could just see a peak of the underside of your ass pop through the bottom of the shirt, playing peakaboo with him the longer he looked. The lines of your legs, looked even longer as the shirt sat just below your hips. Those juicy limbs looked good enough to eat, bare and glaring back at him.
Fuck, you had never been more beautiful to him; it nearly made his goddamn heart stop beating. Being a big man had its perks and this was one of the best ones he found, that you were able to wear his clothes.
In that moment as he watched you happily go about your work, looking like a comfy dream, images of you doing this full time flooded Simon's mind and his stomach flipped excitedly at the thought. If there was anyone that could make that rough and brazen military man soft, it was you.
And maybe it was about time he let someone do it...
There was a sudden warmness against your back as two bulky arms wrapped themselves around your from behind, making you jump a little at the surprise. " 'mornin, luv," Simon's husky voice hit your ears before his kiss touched your cheek. "See you've made yourself at home."
You leaned into him, enjoying the warmth he still had from being wrapped up tight in the covers moments before. "I just...I wanted to do something nice for you, make us breakfast," you said, giving the eggs in the pan currently in your grasp a flip.
"Pretty sure you do more than enough for a bastard like me," he chuckled as one of those thick mitts moved down and cupped lightly over your sex. "This is all I need to stay well fuckin' fed."
Immediately the heat rose in your cheeks, flushing your face bright red.
"But I meant my shirt," he continued, secretly smiling from ear to ear at how quickly he had you blushing. Certain, heavy movements from his hands flitted across your torso as he rubbed over the lines of your curves through the familiar fabric of his clothing.
"Oh, sorry," you quickly apologized, thinking you had possibly overstepped, "I hope you don't mind, I just needed something and it was just there in the top drawer and..."
Another kiss on your cheek shut you right up. "Look fuckin' good like this, luv," he purred in your ear, his low, gravely morning voice making you shiver.
"Really?" you asked, glad that he wasn't mad you'd commendeered his clothes; in reality you knew it would be nothing, but this being the first time you'd done this, you still had some giddy nervousness about everything.
"Ya look like a fuckin' picture to me," he reiterated, those full lips moving down to your next now as he leaned more against you. "I thought I looked good in this thing, but it ain't nothin' compared to a fuckin' vixen like you."
You giggled playfully at all the sweet praise. Nearly missing the eggs being done, you turned off the stove and set the aside until you both were ready to eat. "Please, I look like hell."
"Bullshit," he said as he turned you around, picked up you, and placed your butt on top of the nearest countertop. He slid in between your open legs, letting his hands run down your side from where he had lifted you, sliding tenderly over the shirt. He was right, you were naked save for the shirt and that did something to his still sleepy brain.
Greedily he tilted his head and leaned up into you, embracing your mouth fully with all of his and making your lips dance together. Feverish and sloppy Simon connected with your lips again and again, making your still sleepy brain flatline.
If you could wake up every day like this it would be a fucking living dream.
His kisses would not let up as he pulled you in closer, his hands running over the curves of your back as he stole your lips with a lazy intensity.
"Breakfast is gonna get cold," you groaned with eyes closed, mouthing the words against his parted lips.
His hips bucked into your own. "Nah, my breakfast feels mighty fuckin' warm to me, luv," he said as he kept right at it.
#simon ghost riley#simon riley#call of duty#ghost cod#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost mw2#cod mw2#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#simin ghost riley#simon smut#ghost simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost x you#simon ghost x reader#ghost call of duty#ghost#ghost cod smut
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Astrology observations-33
I notice a lot of Taurus moon/mars people tend to hoard a lot. Iâve seen ppl with this placement go thru periods in their life where they lost a lot of valuable things whether it be because of money issues of moving away or they may have had a period in their lives where material possessions were very scarce.
Venus in retrograde people tend to come off very cold in social situations. Iâve only seen a handful of ppl with this placement bc itâs quiet rare to find but I notice they tend to lack social graces so people assume they are rudeâčïž but deep down these ppl are so shy and sweet. I also notice this is lowkey a beauty aspect like ppl with this placement be sooo FINE but they never see it themselves (similar to Venus square Ascendant)
Saturn square Venus synastry is SOOOO annoying to have for both parties. You both wanna connect badly but everytime you interact thereâs this overly formal way you guys about things especially on Saturns end. These people are so attracted to eachother too but thereâs always something that keeps you from really getting to know this person whether it be distance, vulnerability problems, communication barriers ect. It usually takes these people a long ass time to connect but when they do itâs so long lasting just takes a lot of trust.
Aries sun/venus tend to try to over dominate their partners and friends a lot. I notice these people always try to compete with others to prove their superiority. This can cause them to have a bully reputation.
Mars in Taurusâs tend to work best when they are working with their hands ESPECIALLY in nature. They are usually amazing farmers/gardeners.
Mars in 3rd house people tend to have a very intense relationship with their siblings. They usually grew up arguing with them a lot or not getting along. Could also indicate having aggressive siblings. Could have a lot of resentment towards them.
Dating a Sag Venus & Aqua Venus just feels like youâre being friendzonedđ
Scorpio moons tend to get really embarrassed when they act out of emotion (Scorpio suns too but Scorpio moons definitely take the cake) they can lose control of their emotions for a second then start ghosting you for like a year lmao.
Aquarius risings are all soo hottt but when you get to know them deeper your just kinda like â????â Uk
Aquarius suns tend to be the least ambitious. They arenât as attached to money like most I notice. (Unless they got a lot of Taurus and Capricorn)
Virgo moons are such clean girls đ§Œ
Venus in the 7th house people (especially with libra in the big three) usually canât be alone for too long. Needs a lot of romantic attention to function. I notice if they donât get that they tend to lowkey self destruct and go back to toxic exes.
Venus in the 2nd house people have the best self esteem. People usually only associate this placement with finances but people forget 2nd house also rules self worth. When positively aspected these people have such a deep love for themselves which turns them into a magnet. However If underdeveloped they can be very pessimistic & greedy & attract a lot of narcissists that use them for their $$.
Aries sun Cap moon people tend to be bullies.
Lilith in Pisces people tend to victimize themselves in every situation where they may be viewed negatively. They hate being held accountable for their faults.
Aries placements love provoking people and pushing their buttons. They find it stimulating.
Do not argue with someone with a Virgo moon and Scorpio Mars unless youâre ready to cry your eyes out for months
Taurus moons are usually very shy especially with a water/earth mercury it can be harder for these people to make friends due to their fear of getting out their comfort zone. You usually have to be very patient with these people they scope you out for awhile before they decide they want to be friends. Be lucky if they pick you too cuz they are PICKY.
When a Scorpio rising is attracted to you they will STAREEE INTO YOUR EYES. They are the masters at silent seduction. They wonât be overly flirtatious but the minutes they look at you itâs like theyâre looking into your soul. And while it can make your heart stop it is very intimidating at times. You see so much obsession in their eyes when they like you. But when they hate you itâs like youâre invisible to them they wonât even acknowledge your presence most of the time.
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saying somethin' stupid like 'i love you'
fwb!gojo saying the forbidden L word during the deed ????
slightly nsfw, minors please don't interact. also fluff bc i miss gojo :(
not proof read !
thankyou so much for all the support on my recent âĄ
satoru thinks you're so cruel. one minute you're holding onto him, nails digging into his back as if you needed him to live.
chanting his name so so beautifully as he trapped you between his bare body and the bed, relentlessly thrusting into you.
and then the next you were back to acting like even his mere existence irritated you. in a way it does but not in the way he thinks.
not once had you been there the morning after. only the crumpled sheets and your nail marks served as reminders that you were here, with him.
âgojo can you not-â
âthat wasn't what you called me last night. what happened to toru?â
you glare daggers at him as one of his hand held your notebook high up. he was ridiculously tall and he liked abusing that privilege. especially against you.
âshut upâ you walk past him without bothering to take your book.
âhey you mad baby?â he chuckled, getting in front of you, stopping you again.
âcome on, answer me. why'd you leave? i thought we agreed to go to class together hmm?â
you roll your eyes at him and crossed your arms.
âthat's what you said. i didn't agree.â
âaw you're too meanâ he pouted as you scowl and try passing him again only to be stopped by his hand on your arm.
âi wanted you to stay.â his words were heavy, his face not showing even the slightest bit of his shit eating grin he always has on.
he turns to you, his round sunglasses were low on his nose and you could see his oh so beautiful eyes.
you look away because if you don't, you were pretty sure you'd be hypnotised and you'd do whatever he wanted.
âif you keep doing this i won't stay over anymore.â your words shot a painful jab at your own abdomen. his grip around you loosened slowly until he lets go completely.
âalright then.â he hands you your notebook, more like placed them into your arms as he walked away, eyes never meeting yours.
the next âsleepoverâ took place three days after the banter with satoru. he hadn't called or texted the whole time but when you asked if he was up for it, he replied almost immediately.
so here you were again, him ramming into you as you cling onto his bare body for dear life. you could feel your climax coming as your grip grew tighter and tighter.
satoru was the same, chasing his high. he had missed you a lot the past three days but tried distancing himself just so his feelings for you would simmer down.
it only resulted him thinking about you all day and even more during the night. he finds himself wishing you were here with him, either giving you the pleasure you both agreed upon or just you laying down next to him. he didn't care.
he just wanted you to be there. with him.
and now that you are, his heart clenches the way you clench around him as the both of you cummed simultaneously.
he holds your body tight as you both work your way through the orgasm, euphoria rushing through both your veins.
âfuck y/nâŠâ he groaned as he felt your grip loosen. he can't let you go just yet.
âi love youâ
he hadn't meant to say it really. not like this at least.
âsatoru we've been through this-â you push him weakly but he stays grounded, eyes boring into yours.
âi mean it.â he says, one of his hands found themselves caressing your cheeks as the other supported him while he hovered above you.
âyou don't have to say it back or⊠feel it backâŠâ satoru's voice was full of emotion.
âbut just give me a chance to show you how much i love you. then we can work things out from there.â
you find yourself falling into the charms of gojo satoru. it's not everyday he offers his heart to someone. he doesn't offer it at all but now here he is, handing it to you on a silver platter.
âalrightâ
you could see satoru's face visibly light up and his blue eyes gleammed. he leaned down to place a soft kiss on your lips.
âthankyouâ he traced his fingers on your jaw, his touch so soft, so addicting.
âyou better treat me like a princessâ you chuckle as he physically melted at the sound.
âoh i plan to do exactly that, and more, lovely.â he leaned down to place another kiss on your lips.
#jjk smut#jujutsu satoru#jujutsu gojo#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru x you#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jjk fic#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#gojo smut#gojo x reader#jjk angst#satorugojo#gojou satoru x reader#jjk satoru#jjk drabbles#jjk fanfic#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu geto#nanami kento#geto suguru#gojo x y/n#gojo x you#satoru x you#satoru x reader#satoru smut#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x y/n
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