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hugz4hoon · 2 months

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close as strangers - s.j.y.

inspired by always by daniel caesar :-)

summary — after your breakup, you and jake unexpectedly meet again months later on a busy street

pairing — ex!jake x fem!reader

genre — angst, fluff, suggestive

wc — 3.2k

warnings — making out, sexually explicit scene, implied sex

a/n — this was supposed to be a rly short drabble but as usual, i got carried away. also i wrote this while listening to my jungwon playlist (i am constantly going through jungwon brainrot) no capitlizations bc i wrote most of this in my notes app 😓

you almost don’t recognize him when you see him. his eyes look dull, that small sparkle in his eyes you used to love, now nowhere to be found. his face looks thinner, and you see a noticeable black sky under his eyes. this isn’t the jake you knew and loved.

before you could avert your eyes and keep walking as if you never saw him, his eyes lock onto yours. suddenly, it feels as if time stops. everyone is still moving except you two.

memories come flooding back to you like water as you stand before the man you were once so familiar with. a small sigh escapes your lips as you remember your shared past.

the first memory that comes to mind is the first time you met jake. you two met in your sophomore year of university at a group study session held by a mutual friend. she introduced you to each other, since you all were in the same major. after meeting, you both were inseparable. you and jake ended up staying in the study room for hours even after the rest of the group left, just talking about everything and anything. he dropped you home that day, with the promise of a proper first date.

the next memory you think of is when he almost stood you up for your first date. when the day of the date arrived, you got to the cafe five minutes early. it was raining quite a bit, so you wanted to ensure that you weren’t late. however, after fifteen minutes passed, there was still no sign of jake. upset and confused as to why he would leave you hanging, you started gathering your things to leave the place. as you get up to go, you hear a familiar voice yelling towards you.

“wait! wait! i’m here!”

your eyes shot around until you saw the host of the voice, jake, running towards you while sopping wet, holding a bouquet of flowers that are just as drenched as him. you watched him as his running turned to jogging the closer he got to you. the sight of him took your breath away. his wet skin glistening in the daylight, his shirt clinging onto all the contours and outlines of his body. you almost couldn't look away. he finally reached you, ducking under the hood of the roof you’re under to shield himself from the rain. he sheepishly grinned at you while handing you the flowers. he brought you azaleas. you realize you had mentioned your love for azaleas that day in the study room, while delirious with the need for sleep. you didn’t think he would remember, especially since you barely remembered saying it.

as you took the wet flowers, he immediately started rambling to apologize. “y/n, i’m so sorry for being late, i actually got here like 30 minutes early, i swear! you can even ask the owner in there. then after waiting for a couple of minutes, i figured i had time to get you some flowers before you got here but i guess i estimated wrong...” although his voice started off strong, he trailed off at the end after seeing an amused smile starting to develop on your face.

looking up at him, you giggled at his form.

oh, he’s extremely endearing... what have you gotten yourself into?

“jakey, it’s okay. that's actually really sweet of you… why don’t we just find you some dry clothes, then we can get something to eat, yeah?” you said with a smile.

his expression mirrored yours, with a big teethy smile plastered on his face. he happily nodded at your suggestion, making his damp hair fly up and down, kind of resembling an excited puppy.

from there, your date continued with you picking out a new outfit for him, and then him picking a place for you guys to eat. once again, the two of you were together until late into the night, hours passing like minutes. that night, you learned everything about him—what he liked, what he didn’t like. what he really liked…

the third memory that crosses your mind is your first time at jake’s place. you guys had been dating for a while, and as you started to run out of fun date ideas, he decided to just invite you over to chill. it started off as a movie marathon, but you guys got bored of that as time passed. eventually your boredom led to playing the roblox fashion show game together on his bed. somehow, he kept getting on the podium while you never did.

“what the hell! how are you so good at this? you’re not even following the themes.” you complained with a small pout.

“nobody is! you gotta learn what the crowd likes, y/n.” he replied in an “all-knowing” way.

you glared at him before responding. “jakey, you know the crowd you’re referring to is a bunch of 11 year olds right?”

“doesn’t matter how old they are, they clearly love me.” he said with his chin pointed up.

his response caused you to let out a loud scoff. “yeah, whatever.” you playfully hit his arm.

jake feigned pain where your hand hit him and whined loudly. “owww! all because 11 year olds like me more?”

“oh, shut up!” you went to lightly hit him again, but that time he caught your hand. you tried to pull it out of his grasp, but before you were able to free yourself, he started tickling you as a rebuttal.

you thrashed around under him while trying to escape his hold on you, but his grip was too strong. the room was filled with your screams and yelps, along with both of your laughs and giggles. after a couple of minutes, he finally stopped tickle attacking you. when you came down from your high of laughter, you noticed the provocative position you two were in, with you pinned underneath him. before you could roll out from under him, he kissed you, keeping you in place. he kissed you slowly and passionately, as if the world stopped turning when you were together.

he shifted a bit without breaking the kiss, pushing one of his knees between your legs. he continued to kiss you, licking all over the inside of your mouth, as if trying to memorize it with his tongue. it was so messy, so needy, and so jake. the kiss deepened, his touch turning possessive. the room once filled with sounds of laughter is now filled with wet sounds and soft groans from both you and jake. he cupped your face, his thumb tracing the curve of your cheek. one hand found its way to your back to press you closer, causing your breath to hitch and break the kiss for a second.

“shit, jaeyun,” you whimpered softly. he dove back into your lips, kissing you desperately, as he started to move his knee against you, hitting all the right spots. the pleasurable friction surprised you, making you pull away to throw your head back. “jaeyun, fuck, please, i need you,” you moaned out.

your words caused him to groan against your jaw, a primal hunger burning in his eyes as he looks at you underneath him. “fuck, you can’t say shit like that to me, y/n. not unless you want me to-” you cut him off with another deep kiss.

as you pulled away, you and jake stared at each other with the same lustful look in your eyes, panting heavily. the air around you was heavy with desire, a wordless conversation hanging between you. a dark flush crept up his neck, mirroring the heat blooming in your body. in that silent exchange, a shared decision was made, the playful battle forgotten as a different kind of heat rose in the room. the fabric of your shirt bunched beneath his hand as he pulled you closer, the warmth of his body searing through the thin material. that was only the beginning of a long, long night.

the final memory you remember is the last one you have with him.

it was nearing graduation, a time that should have been filled with excitement and celebration. instead, it was overshadowed by decisions about the future. you and jake had always talked about your dreams, but it wasn’t until now that you realized how different they were.

you wanted stability, to stay in your hometown where your family and friends were, and where you envisioned a future together. you had even found a cute little apartment where you both could move in together after graduation. but jake had different plans. he had been offered his dream job across the country, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that he couldn't pass up.

the conversation started off calmly, but it quickly escalated as the weight of the decisions you both had to make became clear.

“jaeyun, i can’t believe you’re seriously considering this,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “we’ve built a life here. we have plans. you’re seriously fine with throwing all that away?”

he sighed, running a hand through his hair, something he does anytime he’s under stress. “y/n, it’s not about throwing anything away. this is my dream job. we’ve always known this might happen.”

“but what about us?” you asked, your voice cracking. “i thought we were going to build a life together. here.”

“we can still be together,” he says, though you could tell he didn’t truly mean it. “long-distance isn’t impossible. and you could come with me. we could start fresh.”

“i don’t want to start fresh, you know what i want.” you replied, tears welling up in your eyes. “i want to build on what we have here. i don’t want to move across the country and leave everything behind.”

“so what, you expect me to just give up my dream?” he asked, frustration evident in his voice. “this is a huge opportunity for me, y/n. i thought you’d be happy for me.”

“i am happy for you,” you said, wiping away a tear. “but i’m scared too. i don’t want to lose us.”

“we won’t lose us,” he insisted, but with every word, the sureness in his voice got weaker. “we can make it work.”

“can we?” you asked softly, the doubt hanging heavily between you. “or are we just delaying the end?”

you silently prayed that he would change his mind. you prayed he would pull out a hidden camera and tell you it was all a joke. you prayed for him to say something, anything that will change the situation. but much to your dismay, he didn’t have an answer. the silence that followed was filled with the unspoken fears and uncertainties that neither of you wanted to face.

after what felt like an eternity, jake finally spoke. “maybe… maybe we need to accept that our paths don’t cross like we thought they did.”

it felt as if your heart physically broke in half. you couldn’t hide the tears that continued to fall, the realization of what was happening hitting you hard. “so, this is it then?”

“yeah,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “i guess it is.” this wasn’t any easier for jake than it was for you. he’s never loved anyone as much as he loved you. sure, he’s had his fair share of middle school girlfriends and high school talking stages, but nothing as serious as what he had with you. he doesn’t want your relationship to end, but he knows it has to happen if he wants to achieve his goals, especially since he doesn’t want you to have to give up your wants either.

that night, you both went to bed with heavy hearts, the distance between you now a chasm that you’ll probably never be able to fully recover from.

it’s been 10 months since that dreadful day. you continue to stare as thoughts rush through your mind. in your daze, you don’t notice him walking towards you until he taps your arm. the tap causes your mind to automatically clear enough for you to process the boy in front of you. he’s looking at you with eyes deep with melancholy and a soft smile.

“hi, y/n. it’s been a while.”

his boyish voice echoes in your ears as he speaks. you always loved his voice. when you struggled in your math classes, he was always there to help explain concepts to you, but you never paid attention to his lessons. how could you, when all you could hear was his sweet, melodic voice, and that gorgeous accent as the cherry on top?

lost in your thoughts once again, you don’t notice a random pedestrian walking right into you amidst the busy sidewalk. he bumps into you, making you stumble over a bit. before you fall, jake catches you and helps you back onto your feet. feeling his touch after so long ignites something in your chest, a sensation that you haven’t felt in many months.

“still the same clumsy girl, aren’t you, y/n?” he teases, cheekily.

his words cause your cheeks to redden even further. at that moment, you decide to leave before you can embarrass yourself even more.

“yeah, jake. it’s been a while, but i really have to go now.” you try to brush past him but jake stops you with a hand on your bicep. he felt a strong pang in his chest at hearing you call him jake again. the last time you called him that was the first time you had met. after that he had always been your jaeyun or jakey, names that only you ever used for him. to everyone else he was always just jake, but not to you. never to you. that is, until now. he shakes off that thought for the time being, as he has other matters to address.

“i miss you, y/n.” he says, looking straight into your eyes.

jake's words shot you like an arrow to the heart, but you couldn’t let it phase you, not when you worked so hard to get over him. “jake, please-”

“i moved back here.”

your eyes widen at his words. "what?" you whisper, hardly daring to believe it.

“i moved back here,” he repeats, more firmly this time. “i realized that my dream job wasn’t worth losing you. nothing is.”

you quickly remind yourself that you need to be strong and stand your ground, no matter what he throws at you. ever since your break up, you’ve built a wall around your heart to avoid that type of pain at all costs. that heartache is something you never want to feel again.

“please, jake. i can’t do this again.” you try leaving, but he stops you once more, the pattern becoming annoyingly familiar.

“just hear me out,” he pleads, desperation lacing his voice. his hands are now gripping onto your wrists, somehow holding you tightly and delicately at the same time, a hold you know all too well. “i know things ended badly, and i know i hurt you. but not a day goes by that i don’t think about you. about us.”

“but how do i know you’re not going to hurt me again? jake, do you know how long it took me to move on?”

his heart aches at the thought of hurting you so much, but it aches almost equally to think about the fact that you’re saying that you’ve moved on, when he on the other hand still constantly thinks about you. at first, he thought it was normal. of course after a two year relationship, he’s going to think about you often, even after your break up. but eventually, he realized something must be wrong when everything kept reminding him of you months into him starting his dream job. he was never at his best mentally, and not only was it affecting his career, but it was also taking a toll on him physically. he rarely had an appetite due to the permanent heaviness in his chest, which bloomed straight from the you-shaped hole in his heart.

“i know. i know, y/n, and i’ll never forgive myself for that, you have to believe me. i thought i was doing what was best for us, but i was so, so wrong. i need you, y/n.” his eyes are filled to the brim with tears now, but he’s doing his best to keep them contained.

“i understand, jake. and i forgive you, but i can’t shake the feeling that if the opportunity arises again, you’ll take the job and leave me just like last time.” you say firmly, still trying your best to stand your ground. you won’t let yourself get hurt again, you can’t.

he takes your face into your hands to make sure you’re looking into his eyes as he speaks. “y/n, i thought i knew what i wanted back then. but after 10 excruciatingly painful months without you, i know that all i want is you. all i need is you. i can’t live without you, y/n, ever. i thought about you every single day, and it hurt so much knowing that you weren't mine anymore. i could barely function without you—it felt like i was missing a piece of me. wherever i am, wherever i go, none of it matters, as long as you're right there next to me.”

with that beautiful monologue, your carefully built wall immediately comes crashing down. but as much as you want to, you can’t give in like that. you need some time to think about it.

“i... i don't know, jake,” you finally manage to say, your voice trembling despite your efforts to sound composed. “this isn't easy for me.”

jake's expression softens, a mixture of hope and fear flickering across his face. he steps closer, his hand hesitantly reaching out to wipe your tears that have fallen without you realizing, as if afraid you might vanish if he moves too quickly. “i know,” he murmurs, his voice filled with sincerity. “but please, just give me a chance to show you.”

you take a small step back, needing space to think, to breathe. although the step was less than a foot long, it made jake’s heart drop countless yards into the ground. “i need time,” you whisper, more to yourself than to him.

“i'll wait,” jake promises, his eyes never leaving yours. “however long it takes.”

silence settles between you, heavy with unspoken words and unresolved feelings. the busy city continues to move around you, indifferent to the weight of your reunion. you're both very aware of the distance that still lingers between you, not just physical but emotional—a divide born from hurt and uncertainty.

“i should go," you finally say, breaking the quiet that has stretched between you. “i just need some time, jake.”

jake nods, disappointment shadowing his features, but he respects your decision. “i understand. just know that i'm here whenever you're ready.” he steps back, giving you space. “i’ll always be here for you, y/n. no matter what.”

you manage a small, sad smile. “i know. and maybe one day, we’ll look back and laugh at all of this. but until then...”

“until then,” he finishes for you, a somber smile on his face.

with a final, lingering look, you turn and walk away, each step a battle between longing and self-preservation. jake watches as you leave, his heart heavy yet hopeful. the uncertainty hangs in the air, a question mark hovering over what might come next for you both.

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slytherheign · 2 years

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YOU BELONG WITH ME | tasm!peter parker

PAIRING: high school senior!tasm!peter parker x high school senior!fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 3.9k

SUMMARY: you can’t help but feel insecure when you realize your best friend peter and the most famous girl in the school are keeping a sweet secret from you.

WARNINGS: cursing/swearing, awkwardness, jealousy, insecurities, self-loathing, reader is an overthinker and assumes things easily. let me know if i missed any warnings. [⚠︎︎RATING: G]

AUTHOR'S NOTE: inspired by taylor swift’s song with the same title. angst with happy ending. dedicated to @joshiiieeenesx, thanks for supporting me and requesting this. i hope you’re having a great day!

DESTINATION: Sweet Street | GO BACK TO THE STATION. CLICK HERE FOR ALL THINGS YBWM (reviews, commentary, etc. about this fic).

It was Friday Night.

Your favorite day and time of the week because of your tradition with Peter to order pizza and watch a movie. Tonight was a bit different though, you both decided to order your least favorite flavor of pizza and watch the lowest-rated movie ever.

Peter made a joke in the middle of the movie, causing you to laugh and cover your face with your hands. It was a habit you developed since you were a kid when a bully made fun of you for having an ‘ugly-laughing’ face. “Stop,” he chuckled as he captured your wrists with his hands. “Stop what?” you questioned unknowingly, allowing him to hold your wrists and pull them away from your face. You stared at him confusingly.

“Stop covering your face when you laugh,” he said. “I can’t see your pretty face.” Peter would always make little comments here and there about you, most of them being compliments. You ought not to make it serious since you’d always tell flirty jokes to each other, but you just can’t help but feel a little flutter in your stomach every time he would compliment you.

You tried covering the increasing redness of your cheeks with laughter. “I’m serious. Stop covering your face,” he told you. “What if I told you I’m doing it on purpose?” you thought of a quick funny remark. “And why, may I ask, are you doing it on purpose?” he quirked an eyebrow.

“Let’s just say, if you see my beautiful face when I’m laughing, you might just fall in love,” you joked, smirking at him. There was a tinge of the color red in his cheeks, but he was quick to hide it with a chuckle.

“Well, why don’t you let me see your beautiful face then let’s see if I really fall in love?” he remarked. Once again, you laughed because you didn’t know how to respond. Peter was laughing with you when his phone suddenly rang. He quickly stood up, covering the name of the caller with his hand before walking to a private secluded room in his house to answer it. You didn’t mind it. After all, everyone deserved privacy when they’re talking to someone on the phone. Besides, you were actually quite thankful because the phone call interrupted the growing awkwardness in the room. You paused the movie while Peter talked on the phone in the other room.

Minutes passed and you were getting bored of waiting for him. You decided to pull your phone from your jeans pocket and open the Instagram app for a bit. Your feed was pretty much full of your schoolmates that were either busy preparing for prom next friday or busy with the upcoming game on Monday. You scrolled mindlessly, double-tapping each post from your close friends when you stumbled upon a post from her.

Gwen Stacy. Blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect body. The cheer captain, head of the planning committee, the smartest in school… well, not the smartest because that would be Peter… but still the smartest girl in school. Having all that, you’d think she was the type to be the typical mean girl, but no… she’s actually the nicest.

In the picture, she was smiling with the other cheerleaders, their teeth as white as snow and their faces as beautiful as barbie dolls even when they were sweating. Sometimes you just wonder if they ever had a bad hair day or they’re just perfect all the time.

“Please! Gwen, come on!” you heard Peter yell. Gwen? Why was he talking to Gwen Stacy?

“Really? Yes!” you heard him exclaim excitedly. A pang of jealousy hit your chest, the feeling was unwelcome because you knew he wasn’t even yours to begin with. But still, it hurt.

The next thing you heard was his footsteps nearing the door. You collected yourself immediately, greeting him with a smile as he opened the door.

“Sorry about that,” he smiled, with the same fucking smile you fell in love with. He sat next to you on the couch, subtly putting his arm on the back just around where your head was resting. He grabbed the remote from your hand, but for a few seconds, you felt it linger when his hand touched yours.

He pressed the play button and you both continued to watch the movie.

“Okay, just so we’re clear. You think Peter and Gwen are dating?” your other friend, Mary Jane, iterated on the phone. It was Sunday night, the only time MJ had free time this week since she was also a cheerleader.

“Yes,” you answered clearly. “I heard them talking on the phone the other night. Peter seemed really happy and excited.”

“And what do you feel about that?” she asked.

“Uh–I don’t know?” you admitted.

“I call bull. Come on, I know you’re in love with Peter.”

“Okay. I do have feelings for him… but I don’t think he feels the same about me. He probably asked Gwen to be his prom date even though we promised we’d take each other to the event.”

“So you’re not going to prom anymore?”

“I mean I already have a dress so I guess I’ll still go. It just sucks that I’ll be going without him.”

“Since when did you get a dress?!”

“Uhh… since last week?”

“And you didn’t even tell me?” she made a sound of absolute shock. Knowing her, you knew she probably had her hand on her chest while making that sound. “I could’ve helped you pick.”

“It’s not a problem honestly. Besides, I kinda wanted it to be a surprise?”

“Can you at least tell me the color?” she pleaded.

“Blue. Like the kind of blue in Spider-Man’s suit.”

“Weird way to describe a color. Is there a specific reason why you chose blue? I thought you never liked blue.”

“Okay, I’ll tell you but don’t tell anyone about this because I think Peter is kinda embarrassed about it… Peter is obsessed with Spider-Man. He’s such a huge fan of his–maybe even his number one fan. He even tried to hide it from me, but when I found a Spider-Man suit in his closet he just started getting really nervous and he only stopped when I told him it’s fine if he’s a fan. I’m not judging him, I think Spider-Man is really cool too,” you explained. “I was hoping he’d notice the color reference but now that he’s going with Gwen Stacy, I doubt he would even look at me.”

“You really think Peter would ignore you? Have you seen how that man looks at you?”

“He looks at everyone like that. It’s nothing special,” you denied.

“Listen, believe what you want to believe but I know Peter is definitely in love with you too. But if you did end up alone and out of place at the event, you’re welcome to sit with me.”

“Thanks, but you literally have a date. I don’t wanna be a third wheel,” you laughed. “I appreciate the thought though,” you exchanged goodbyes not long after that, wishing her good luck on their cheer performance.

You thought hard about what she said. Peter did become more clingy to you these last few months and he always made sure to text or call you every day. You guessed there really was a chance Peter shared the same feelings with you.

Maybe he was just talking to Gwen as a friend.

You were at the gymnasium where you'd have to watch student-athletes pass the ball to each other, all having the same objective to shoot the ball in their respective goals. And when a member of a team claimed their shot, it would repeat all over again.

You were never into sports. If you had a choice, you’d rather stay in bed and continue reading Looking For Alaska, but instead, you were stuck sitting on the bleachers while watching cheerleaders dance their routine in such a flawless manner. As much as you wanted to focus on MJ and support her, your eyes couldn’t help but look at Gwen. She really was mesmerizing.

You were too busy comparing her shiny legs and the way they moved with their short flowy skirts with your simple t-shirt and sneakers to even notice someone sitting beside you.

You continued watching Gwen dance, focusing on her pretty face and realizing that even in her sweaty condition she still kept dazzling everyone in the room with her beautiful smile. You noticed her wink in your direction. For a moment you thought she was winking at you, but when you followed the direction she was smiling at you noticed it was directed at someone beside you—Peter.

Funny. You didn’t even know Peter was beside you.

“Hi?” you greeted, putting your best smile in front of him while your stomach ached from cruel jealousy.

“Hey,” he simply replied, before focusing on the phone he just got out of his pocket. He was busy texting someone.

“So…you already have a suit for Friday?” you asked, trying to start a conversation. He shook his head. “Nope. But I plan on looking later today.”

“Cool. Do you want me to go with you? I don’t have anything to do after this,” you offered.

He stopped and finally looked at you. You noticed how his eyes widened at your question and after mere seconds of looking at your eye, he looked away. He didn’t even need to open his mouth, his body language already told you that he already had someone he was going with.

You felt too sick to even hear his reply, immediately knowing the answer. You excused yourself, going straight to the bathroom to try to compose yourself and your body that was slowly starting to shake. You looked at yourself in the mirror, yelling inside your head to stop the tears that were threatening to fall.

You and Peter were supposed to be inseparable. From childhood up until that moment earlier on the bleachers, you thought you would end up together.

All those years, you have convinced yourself you would be together and told the stars that he belonged with you.

But maybe he belonged with someone else.

And if you truly loved him, who were you to stop him from following his heart?

The moment you stepped inside the school tomorrow morning, Peter immediately wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

If it was yesterday or the days before, you would’ve loved it and your stomach would’ve already been swarmed with butterflies. But today, all it felt was aching pain.

“Hey,” he kissed your cheek, a thing he always did whenever he saw you at school. “MJ told me you went home early yesterday because you weren’t feeling well. Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve walked you home.”

“It’s fine, really,” you answered. It wasn’t fine, but how could you tell him he was the reason you couldn’t bear to stay at school yesterday?

“Well, I missed you. You got me really worried.”

And there it was again, the feeling of your heart jumping just from the words he said and how his voice spoke them. Was Gwen even okay with him putting his arm around your shoulder and walking with you in the hallways?

You did your best acting like everything was alright for the rest of today. Peter was busy texting Gwen for most of the time anyway, it wasn’t hard to convince him everything was fine.

Classes for Wednesday and Thursday were suspended to give way for prom preparations. You didn’t have much to do on Wednesday, so when MJ offered an idea to practice doing makeup and putting on the dresses to prepare for prom, you agreed.

You sat in your room in front of your vanity mirror while MJ did your makeup for you. She matched the eyeshadow with the color of your dress, and you must admit, she did amazing. Next was your hair, you requested it to be an updo, with the hairpins you picked out scattered attractively.

For a moment, you wondered what Peter could be doing right now. His house was just next to yours, his bedroom window facing yours and if you only pulled your curtains aside, you would see him through his window—if it wasn’t covered by his curtains.

Mary Jane snapped you back to reality by complimenting the details of the dress she just pulled out of your closet. “I need to see you in this dress now.”

You chuckled but complied nonetheless. With her help, you carefully put on the dark blue long dress. “Shit. This dress is made for you,” she complimented. It was true, you were indeed a vision. The dress hugged your body perfectly and the details were perfect to your liking. You never liked the color blue, but this dress got you second thinking.

After putting on your heels, you checked yourself out in the mirror when MJ’s phone suddenly rang. “Peter? Hi,” she answered. As soon as she said his name, you turned around to face her.

“Are you okay?” MJ asked Peter. “You sound ill.”

“What’s happening?” you didn’t care anymore if Peter wasn’t talking to you. Something was wrong with him based on MJ’s reaction, and you were concerned.

“Oh my god.”

“MJ, what is it?”

“Something is really wrong with him. I think we need to go to his hou–” she didn’t have the opportunity to finish her sentence when you immediately walked out of your room still in your dress and on your way to Peter’s house. MJ followed you but stayed outside Peter’s house. She smirked the moment you entered his house. Everything was going as planned.

Aunt May was thankfully on vacation somewhere, you couldn’t imagine her reaction if she saw you rushing towards her nephew’s room in a long dress and in heels.

You carefully knocked on his bedroom door, announcing your presence. “Y/N?” he asked and you hummed in response. “I’m in here,” he answered from the next room. As far as you can remember, that room was an empty one. You weren’t sure why Peter was in there but in times of emergencies like this one, you didn’t care. “Can I open the door?” you asked.

“Yes.”

You did not expect what you saw.

The room was dark as a result of the windows being covered. On the floor were littered little candles with your favorite scent lit up to light the room in a romantic manner. There was an area left for you to walk leading to the middle of the room, which had a space just enough for two people. You also noticed the petals of roses scattered on the floor as a string version of your favorite song started playing.

A figure emerged from the shadows—Peter. He offered his hand for you to take and only then when he led you to the middle did the fire from the candles revealed his outfit. He was wearing a suit that perfectly matched the color of your dress. You didn’t know how he knew the exact color of your dress, you would ask him that later.

You were both speechless, neither knowing what to say. “Wow…” he breathed out. “How could a person look so beautiful? You are unreal.”

“Thank you,” you blushed. “You look handsome too.”

He held your hand and guided it towards his lips, placing a soft kiss on the back of it before holding each of your hands with both of his.

“Peter?” you started to say. “What–”

“You know I prepared a whole speech just for this moment,” he interrupted. “And then as soon as I saw you, I just forgot every single thing in the world because you’re the only one that matters.”

Tears were starting to gloss your eyes but before you could start crying from his sentiment, you asked him a question that has been vexing you for quite a while.

“What about Gwen?”

His face was quick to react to your question. His forehead scrunched up, looking at you as if to tell you if you could emphasize your question.

“I thought you were together. You were talking to each other pretty much the whole week. You were texting and calling each other, she was with you when you picked your suit, and then I saw her wink at you at the game.”

His face slowly dawned with realization. As soon as he realized what you were talking about, he couldn’t help but laugh. But upon seeing your worried face, he stopped laughing at once and looked straight into your eyes with absolute seriousness.

“Gwen and I are nothing more than just friends. We are not together. We’ve been talking to each other a lot because I asked her for help on how to surprise you. She also helped me pick the right suit so I wouldn’t embarrass myself with a lousy one. She winked at me at the game because she was excited that after the game ended, we would set up this surprise. And also because I was sitting next to you in the bleachers, she kinda saw me stare at you while you were busy watching the cheer routine. The wink was just her teasing and being excited. It doesn’t mean anything, I swear. It’s only you. I only want you.”

“Shit. So I really just overthought the whole situation,” you chuckled. “I’m so stupid.”

“No, you’re not stupid. Don’t invalidate your feelings, It’s completely understandable. If I was you I’d think the same too.”

After a short moment of soft understanding silence, you felt him stiffen. His hands now held yours a little bit tighter. “Can I ask you a question?” he finally said.

“Let me guess, you want me to be your prom date?” you tried to ease the tension with the obvious question.

“Yes, and no.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I want to take you to prom, yes. But that’s not the only thing I want. I want to take you on dates, I want to dance with you not just at events organized by the school, I want to buy you flowers, every day if I can; I want to watch scary movies with you and laugh when you’re too scared and you hide yourself with a pillow, I want to watch sad movies with you and bring you tissues and cuddle you the moment you cry, I want to watch romantic movies with you and cringe together when the characters do something embarrassing and wrap my arms around you when you blush at something sweet that they do. I want the tears, the pain, the frustration, the confusion, the sweetness, the laughter—everything. I want everything. With you.”

“Pete…”

“We’re seniors. Next year, we’re going to college. We will take on different paths and places, but before that even happens, I want you to be my place that’s never changing. And if you feel the same, I want to be your place that’s never changing too. You have been my best friend since we were kids, and I don’t want my memory of us to be just two people being friends since childhood,” he said before resting his forehead against yours. “I am in love with you, Y/N L/N. Would you be willing to enter a relationship that’s more than friends with me?”

Tears glossed over your eyes again, but this time, you let one fall. Peter was quick to wipe it with his hand. “Tell me you don’t feel the same and I will not hold it against you. Tell me you don’t feel the same and I will not cross the line of being more than friends. Know that I will not force you into a relationship you do not want. Tell me if you don’t feel the same and I–”

“Yes,” you stopped him before he could finish his sentence. “The answer is yes. I am in love with you as well, Peter Parker. I have been for a long time.”

Peter smiled, now feeling his own tears try to escape his eyes but he didn’t let them fall. “May I dance with you?”

You chuckled but agreed, letting him guide you into position. Your forearms rested on his shoulders, your hands softly stroking the back of his neck while his hands were positioned at both sides of your waist. As the music still played in the background, you both started swaying.

“I can’t take my eyes off of you. You’re gorgeous,” he commented. “You don’t look so bad yourself. Your suit even matched my dress,” you said back.

“I’ll have to thank MJ for that.”

“Wait–MJ is a part of this?”

“Of course, she is. How’d you think I knew the color of your dress?”

You suddenly remembered the conversation you had with MJ when she asked you about the color of your dress. And then you also remembered that MJ was the reason why you were even inside Peter’s house right now in the first place. Peter called her and then she said that something was wrong with him and urged you to come here. Where was she even now anyways?

Peter laughed as he watched your face change from confusion to realization. “You know what–I’ll give it to y’all. You, Gwen, and MJ are good at this,” you admitted.

“The dressing up with our prom outfits and dancing was my idea though,” he spoke as he guided you into a spin. “I wanted our first dance to be private, not in a room filled with other students.”

You saw him glance at your lips for a moment before looking back into your eyes. “I also want to do this,” he said as he leaned in closer and met your lips with his.

You’ve imagined this moment ever since your heart started beating for him. But still, the feeling of his lips against yours for real was better than what you’d imagined it to be. The kiss was soft but intimate, neither of you having a need to rush into things but at the same time making up for lost time pining over each other silently. You wished you could kiss him forever and stay like this but you eventually needed to pull away to breathe.

“So, you really thought I was in love with Gwen?” he teased while you were catching your breath.

“Way to ruin the moment,” you chuckled, lightly punching his arm before nodding.

“Shit. I really made you jealous?” he seemed really proud of what he had done from the way he was smirking.

“Are you happy?” you jokingly asked, rolling your eyes with fake annoyance.

“Am I happy? Of course, I am. I just kissed you.”

You couldn’t find the words to reply as you blushed harder than you’d ever blushed before. Instead, you just laughed out of blissful happiness.

For the first time ever, he saw you laugh without covering your face and it was the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen. He couldn’t help but kiss you again.

Needless to say, the future was exciting.

If only he could tell you that he was Spider-Man.

SLYTHERHEIGN TAGLIST: @writingstoraes @joshiiieeenesx

TASM!PETER PARKER TAGLIST: @mymilkducts @i-am-woman-strong @lauraneedstochill @jeanettexkillian @ms-mandalore @enaraism @alessandralol @sad-darksoul @sincericida @mentallystablepotato @mich0731 @logolepsic-insomniac @k0miiki @dreamsarecloserwithyou @jumilzzz @primroseparker @preciousbabypeter @myheartonthemove @rebecca-johnson-28 @silkholland @ellievickstar @okkulta @geekygamerchick @starqwerty20 @the-quiet-observer @softiepeterpan

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being-addie · 1 year

Text

Healthy habits I'm developing for 2023

It's already April and I'm still in that rut of sleeping at 2am, buying a quick fix of candy at the store when I have fruit at home, eating too many carbs and skipping the gym. Now, I'm getting my shit together.

It's easy to disguise bad habits with excuses. "Oh, I have exams coming up". "Work's been really draining lately". But if you don't change now, you'll be stuck in that same loop for the rest of your life.

Prioritising health:

Sleeping 7-8 hours every night: To end my absolutely atrocious amount of screen time, I've decided to delete all those distracting apps on my phone. It's hard, but worth it. Now I won't be tempted to scroll on Instagram when I should be sleeping.

Making healthy food choices: Choosing homemade granola over chocolate bars, banana bread over Nutella sandwiches, and homemade nachos over packaged chips makes a huge difference.

Working out: l go to the gym daily, but lately, I've been lazy and slacking off. So I want to start going again along with squeezing in a run in the evening. Finishing at least 8k steps every day. Moving my body in some way, whether it's dance or yoga.

Water: I have a bad habit of forgetting to drink water, even when it's right in front of me. So I've downloaded some water reminders to help me remember to drink. I've also decided to incorporate lemon honey iced tea into my diet because I'm a fiend for it.

Working smart:

Creating a to-do list: Committing to knocking off at least three things on a to-do list and gradually increasing the number of tasks.

Keeping devices away: I've started keeping my phone in my mom's room while I work, or I lock it in my cupboard so I won't get distracted, and I use extensions like WasteNoTime and StayFocusd to block unnecessary websites.

Dividing time: Making a schedule for my day, so I can divide school studies, sketching practice and homework. It is so important to block out parts of the day for morning and night routines and self-care.

Cleansing my life:

A clean workspace: Clean up my desk every day, so I can sit in an uncluttered space, and keep my racing mind calm.

Making my bed: Focusing on making sure my bed is clean first thing in the morning, so I have a place that's clean and warm after a long day.

Deleting social media: It was difficult, but I did it. Fighting the temptation to log in again is real, but I'm slowly coming to realise I don't care what people are posting on their stories, and the FOMO is slowly fading.

Toxic people: Getting rid of toxic friends, and deleting numbers and chats of people are who no longer important in my life. Having access to me is a privilege.

Self-care: Every Sunday, I'm setting aside a few hours for myself. During that time, I'll be having a long shower, deep conditioning my hair, using a scrub and exfoliator, shaving, moisturizing, and eating something nice. I'll be baking something for the rest of the week so I won't resort to junk food for dessert or snacks.

Understanding and knowing what you want in life is the first step to beginning your journey. Don't let others make you feel guilty for putting yourself first. It's your life, and ultimately, it's only you who can change it.

#self care #self improvement #self love #level up #level up journey #self love journey #glow up #college #tips and tricks #it girl #that girl #perfect #life

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undeadcannibal · 1 year

Note

Could you do headcannon of the Taskforce 141 boys having a civilian fem!spouse? I’m not a soldier so I am curious to see what they are like and how they meet said spouse. ❤️

Summary: Headcanons for how Price, Soap, Ghost, and Gaz meet their civilian SO

Genre: Headcanons, request(s) Characters featured: Price, Soap, Ghost, and Gaz!

Warnings: none!

A/N: Hopefully you enjoy these! I had fun coming up with different ways they’d meet ‘em. ( Gif credit: xxx )

Price―

He’d be in the middle of a discussion with some of his friends when one of them casually mentions the name of a dating app that’s supposedly hot right now.

At first, he doesn’t care. Reassures himself he’s too old and busy to waste his time with such a thing... until he has a rough night during his downtime. Loneliness weighing heavily on him to the point he finds himself downloading the damn app during a moment of weakness.

At first, he doesn’t use it much. His profile is simple: he’ll post a few photos of himself, vaguely mention what he does for a living, what he’s looking for. And that’s that for a few months. Whenever he had the time, he’d swipe through a couple profiles here and there, but nothing serious had ever come from it.

Until 6 months later, when he finds himself humoring that deep ache in his heart, browsing through profile after profile until he lands on yours.

He knows better than to be fooled by looks, but he’d also be a liar if he said that he wasn’t smitten with you the moment he’d laid eyes on your photo. With a swipe, he silently hopes that the two of you will match, and when you eventually do, he’s over the moon but plays it as cool as he possibly can.

When he takes you out after talking for a while, he properly wines and dines you, doesn’t even kiss you after the first date either. Instead, he’d taken your hand in his and kissed it before asking if he can take you out again.

It takes a few years, but when he proposes, he goes all out in every way possible but makes sure to keep it all private. He can’t stand public proposals.

Soap―

He was home for the holiday season when he’d met you in a super market. You’d looked as lost as ever when browsing the food, so he couldn’t help but ask if you were okay. You mentioned that you were shopping for a relative but weren’t local so you had no idea where to even begin.

He’d helped you grab everything you needed before he felt a rush of anxiety hit him like a train. He’ll never understand what drove him to feel as if he couldn’t let you go without at least asking for your number, but he was thankful for it for the rest of his life.

You’d talk to one another over the phone throughout your entire stay and long afterwards too... By the time the holidays are rolling around again, the two of you had been long-distance for quite sometime, but it’d be the first time seeing you in person after so long. After spending the holiday together between both of your homes, Johnny can’t help but want to keep you in his life for as long as you’ll allow it.

2 years down the line, the two of you are visiting his family again when he decided to propose to you, and when you accepted, best believe both him and his family were excited and quick to initiate a group hug in celebration.

Ghost―

When Simon is off duty, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He struggles with finding things to keep himself occupied while he’s home. Stress and other emotions make even the simplest of tasks difficult for him. So, over time, he’d developed a habit of heading down to a local park to try and relax. Sometimes he’d take a book, other times he simply sat at a bench and allowed himself to get lost in his own mind. Mostly, he’d sit in silence and just enjoy watching the world pass him by.

One day when he’s walking over to his usual bench, he sees you there with a book in one hand and a drink in another. Captivated by the words on the page to the point that you don’t even notice him when he sits down on the opposite end of it, not saying a word or even glancing at you afterward. Instead, he simply watches you out of his peripheral vision. Wondering what you’re reading that has you so engaged.

He didn’t speak to you then. Instead, he’d allowed it to happen a few more times until you finally broke the silence between you two. Glancing up at him from behind your book with a shy smile as you introduced yourself to him. Behind a dark disposable mask, Ghost’s lips quirk upwards into the smallest of grins, thankful that you’d taken initiative. After you greet him, you do your best to make the occasional small-talk before you’ve to leave.

The same thing happens a few more times before he finds himself purchasing a burner phone just so he can give you a number to reach him at.

From there, the two of you would get to know one another better, sharing park dates together before you began to suggest other types of dates. Next thing Simon knew, the two of you were officially together and he was absolutely mad about you, thinking about you every second of his days. Despite the fact, he’s a complicated man with a lot of baggage, so he takes his time with your relationship.

4 years later, he’s the one to beat you to the punch and proposing to you in the very same park you met at after he takes you on a picnic.

Gaz―

IMO, Gaz seems like the type to frequent a coffee shop/cafe he enjoys to the point he’s basically a regular. Has his own favorite table, order, and everything. That is, until one day he arrives a bit later than usual and he sees you sitting there.

Normally, he would have just let you have the table but before he could even turn away to find another one, you were asking him if everything was alright. He couldn’t find it in himself to say yes and turn away. Instead, he somehow manages to not only ask if you two can share the table, but give you a dazzling smile after he does so as well. Taking special notice in how you had blushed afterward.

He wouldn’t ask you out right away. Instead, he’d build up to it. Gives you his number that first day so you two can get to know one another better while he’s off duty. He has to head back for another mission soon, but rest assured whenever he has any time off and it’s safe to do so, he’s spending all of his free time messaging and calling you. Getting to know you better.

Eventually, after the two of you have spent a few unofficial coffee dates together, he works up the courage to ask you out on a proper date. He’s upfront - but vague - about what he does and how it can affect his free time, but thankfully, you never cared. Instead, you’re just happy he finally asked you out after months of beating around the bush.

After your first date together, it’s all downhill from there. He’d fallen head-over-heels for you to the point even his fellow Task Force members noticed and teased him about it. Even more so after he’d gush about how he swears “you’re the one”

Little did they know by the end of the next year, the two of you would be engaged~

#call of duty x reader #task force 141 x reader #john price x reader #soap x reader #johnny mactavish x reader #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #gaz x reader #headcanons #cod headcanons #requests #opened mail #my writing

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sommerbueckers · 3 months

Text

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬²

___________________________________________________________

THE RESTAURANT THAT had been decided on was located in the heart of the city. It was that of a classy establishment, with live chamber music working to create an ataraxic environment.

Paige was seated on the second level, her exuberance irrepressible as she anticipated Myla's arrival. She busied herself with her phone, idly scrolling from app to app, rereading text messages between her and the very woman she waited on.

Two days had passed since the fortuitous run-in at the grocery store and the anticipation of the night to come had been involuntarily keeping both girls up.

Paige had called ahead of time to make a reservation the moment that Myla had agreed to dinner, and though she could've simply taken her somewhere more casual, Paige yearned to impress her. She had worn the nicest shirt she could find in her suitcase; a plain black button up with short, cuffed sleeves. She borrowed a pair of Aubrey's black dress pants, hoping Myla wouldn't notice the way they slightly pooled at her ankles.

When the girl finally did arrive and right on time for their agreed seven o'clock dinner, she looked indescribably beautiful. She wore a simple but flattering black dress that hugged her shape just right. Her eyes twinkled when she caught sight of Paige, sitting there stilly with the dumbest of looks upon her face.

The waiter led her over to the table, Paige nearly toppling over as she moved to stand and greet her.

"Hi again," she breathed out, wrapping an arm around Myla's shoulder.

'Can she tell how nervous I am?' Paige thought when she retook her seat, discreetly wiping her palms on her pants.

Myla didn't look nearly as trepidatious as Paige; her demeanor calm and collected while she browsed through the menu.

"This place is really nice," the girl commented, her eyes filled with curiosity as she examined her surroundings.

Paige nodded, she had already gotten the chance to familiarize herself with the space, but she did it again as though it were the first time.

"Yeah, it is. I didn't realize how nice it was when I made the reservation," the blonde admitted, her hand instinctively finding the back of her neck in attempt to ease her nerves.

"You made a reservation?"

Paige's mouth went dry, mind trying to decipher the look that Myla was giving her. For a moment she looked taken aback, eyebrows heavenward and lips marginally parted. But Myla's realization of her own expression registered before Paige could truly make sense of it, quickly contorting in appreciation.

"Well uh — yeah, it's really hard to get in here without one so," Paige shrugged cooly. She wanted to make it seem like her unusual act of preparation had been solely because she wanted to eat here, not because she wanted to ensure that nothing went wrong.

Myla nodded thoughtfully, not pushing the topic any further. After all, Paige hadn't planned ahead because she liked her, it was simply because she was interested in the place. That's what the model had been led to believe, and she had no reason not to, other than the slither of hope that maybe her recently rediscovered feelings were reciprocated.

The waiter came back around and took their drink orders, bringing out a Dirty Shirley for Paige and a glass of Barolo for Myla.

"You like wine?" the blonde questioned, noticing the spark of satisfaction that developed in her eyes when she took a sip.

"Very much," Myla grinned brightly, "this one has like a sweet and fruity taste to it. Well there's dried fruit in it so obviously..." she mumbled the last part, eyes frantically glancing around the room in embarrassment.

Paige pretended not to notice, "Ion really drink wine but you're makin' it sound good with the fruit thing 'n' all."

"Wanna try?"

"Nah it's cool."

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡

As the night aged, the conversation flowed effortlessly, with both women growing increasingly at ease in each other's company. Paige's nerves had subsided, replaced by an irresistible compulsion to prolong the evening. She had savored the dinner beyond expectations, now relishing in the sobremesa that followed.

Myla was recovering from a joke that Paige had made, fanning away the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. Her smile was incandescent, illuminating the corners of the place where the lights couldn't quite reach.

"I don't remember you being this funny," she said breathlessly, crossing her forearms on the table.

Paige pressed her hand against her heart, feigning hurt. "That hurts my feelings y'know, all those times we had to move seats 'cause you couldn't stop laughing."

"Unt uh! We had to move 'cause you kept tryna make me laugh, and you failed every time!"

"What?!" Paige's eyes widened, "You cannot be serious right now."

"I most definitely am."

"Makin' you laugh was like learning how to ride a bike, hard at first but once I got the hang of it, it was over wit' for you."

"You're delusional."

Myla shook her head, reaching for her glass of wine. It was her second of the night, and she was starting to feel the effects of it. She couldn't stop staring at the woman in front of her, admiring the way her long, blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders, and the way the corner's of her eyes creased as she laughed.

She felt like she was sixteen all over again, silently crushing on the basketball star that nobody could get enough of. Back then she had purely been a face in the crowd, one in a million except she was the million. She couldn't, for the life of her, grow the balls to utter a word to Paige outside of class, dispiritedly watching as the blonde conversed with everyone around her.

Things were different now, at least they were in this moment. She and Paige had actually made plans to go out rather than being forced together by a class schedule. Myla was different now. She had confidence and class, not that Paige wouldn't have noticed her if she didn't. It was because Paige did notice her when she didn't that they found themselves together now.

The waiter placed the check on the table, giving each of the girls a smile before disappearing again.

Myla pulled out her card, she had been the one to suggest going out and it was only right that she pay.

Paige pulled her card out, she had been the one to pick such an expensive restaurant and it was only right she pay.

"What're you doing?" they both questioned in unison.

Myla frowned, "I invited you out tonight, let me pay."

"No, I picked this place so I should be the one to pay."

Paige held her eyes in an intense staring contest, neither of them willing to back down. Myla could feel that helpless teen coming out again, her heartbeat quickening, threatening to beat out of her chest if she stared at Paige any longer. Her lashes fluttered, and she peeled her eyes away to look at anything else.

Paige slipped her card into the leather booklet, and soon after they were ambling out of the restaurant and onto the street.

"You takin' a taxi?" Paige asked.

"Neh, my place is like a five minute walk."

"You're gonna walk in the dark?"

"Yeah."

"Sike. I'll walk you," the blonde offered.

"Oh Paige you don't have to do that, really, I walk around by myself all the time," the shorter girl laughed.

But Paige insisted.

The air brought a comfortable chill to the city, people still lingered on the streets, the roads still as crowded as usual. New York was never quiet, but it was an aspect to be thankful for in a moment like this. Neither Paige nor Myla spoke, both just basking in the beauty of the city as they walked side by side — shoulders occasionally brushing against each other.

'Did she mean to do that?' Paige had asked herself the first time.

But judging by the smile Myla had given her after the second, she concluded that the answer to her question was 'yes.'

They reached the building in no time. Paige whistled as she looked above her, squinting her eyes to see the top floor. She still couldn't. The two of them were silent for a few moments longer, not knowing what to say or how to end the night. Eventually, Myla decided that she had found the right words.

"When do you leave again?" she faked forgetfulness, snapping her eyebrows together.

"Friday night."

"Hm," the girl hummed, "well I had fun tonight, it was really good catching up with you."

"Yeah, you too."

"It's too bad we can't do it again."

This was it, the ball was in Paige's court. She could either nod her head in agreement, ending whatever they had begun to rekindle, or she could take it upon herself to find an alternative. Myla hoped it was the latter.

'Too bad? That means she wants to see me, right?'

'I'm thinkin' bout this too much, i'm taking too long,'

'Fuck, say something!'

"Who says we can't?" the blonde smirked.

"Well, you live in Connecticut," Myla reminded her as though she had forgotten.

"It's a two 'n' a half hour drive, and wit' the right music, that's nothing."

Myla's eyebrows rose, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "You're gonna drive down here every time you wanna see me?"

'Wanna see me? Was that too much?'

"If I feel like it," she shrugged.

"Okay, if you say so."

"And I do."

Myla pressed her lip between her teeth to conceal the exuberance of her smile, but unbeknownst to her, the glimmer in her eyes betrayed her. She tilted her head when Paige opened her arms, unquestioningly letting herself be embraced by the blonde. They acknowledged to themselves that the hug had lasted longer than it should've, though their expressions showed no regrets.

Paige towered over the girl even in her heels, providing a warmth greater than the summer air ever could. It was the perfect moment for a kiss, and had they been sure that's what each of them wanted, they would've. But as the saying goes, "Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd."

'Fuck you Voltaire,' Myla thought to herself.

"Goodnight Paige," she grinned brightly.

"See you later, Myla."

___________________________________________________________

𝐚/𝐧: this chapter is kinda short and it still took forfuckingever to write so read it with care.

(should start charging yall for this shit !)

#paige bueckers #paige bueckers x reader #uconn wbb #wlw post #love beyond the likes #sommer bueckers #paige buckets #paige bueckers fic #gay as fuck

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alphajocklover · 4 months

Note

You gotta help me man! I used the instajock app (I didn't want to I swear!) and turned from a skinny nerdy guy into the most douchebag dumbass Frat Bro! Why playing around with the settings (thank god) I think I accidentally hit the "revert mind" button and now I'm stuck in this awful, sweaty, smelly body! Can you please change me back?

Wait, you actually found the revert mind option? From what I’ve heard, that option is so deeply hidden in the settings that most people were sure it didn’t exist. For a very impressive app InstaJock has a very complicated settings page, although that’s most likely by design. See, while user set up is where most things are changed, a user of InstaJock can technically still change themselves after the fact with the settings page. To keep users from doing anything too major, or discovering certain things like the revert mind option, the developers make the settings page complicated and boring, so most of the jockified users lose interest in it quickly. It seems like your new frat boy self was one of the rare jocks who was still intelligent enough (or just lucky enough) to go on a deep dive in the settings page.

Now as for your current predicament, being trapped in a frat bro body, I’m afraid there isn’t much I can do to help you. I know more about InstaJock than most people do but I don’t know everything, and one thing I definitely don’t know is how to reverse the app's effects. I'm not sure anyone has ever actually tried before. You could delete the app but that might not do a thing, and it could backfire if the developers put in any protections against it. Not to mention that might not even get you your body back. You could mess around with the settings again and see if there’s a way to revert yourself entirely, but like I said it’s really complicated and you’d be just as likely to transform yourself into an even bigger douchebag as you would to turn yourself back. You could try to fight your new urges and body with a ton of deodorant, constant shaving, and baggy clothing, but you’d spend your entire life trying to fight your body.

My advice is to just accept it. Sure you look like a hairy jock and smell like a high school locker room, but you’re super muscular, handsome as hell, and you’ve even managed to hold onto your brains. Clean yourself up a little and you’d be a walking wet dream, a refined stud able to get any guy or girl you want. You’ll have some jock urges, due to having a jock body, but as long as you keep a hold on them and don’t let yourself turn into a complete frat bro douche… well I think you could live a great life with the best of both worlds

So enjoy it! Not many people are lucky enough to keep their original mind and personality after being changed. Plus now you’ve got access to InstaJock and the brains to use it strategically. That’s a dangerous and very powerful combo. So… have fun~.

#muscle growth tf #muscle tf #jock tf #jock transformation #jockification #nerd to jock #instajock tf

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verimuru · 6 months

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Red on Maroon A 16-page IWTV (2022) fancomic about the vampire Armand and journalist Daniel Molloy visiting the Mark Rothko retrospective in 2024 Paris. Content mentions & warnings: The comic depicts Daniel’s internalized ableism. Rothko’s suicide is acknowledged but not discussed in detail. There’s angst, talk about kink and lots of fluff. Louis is mentioned as well as Daniel’s daughters. Marius is not named but is hinted at. The comic is set up in post-Dubai-interview time and based on my knowledge about s1 of AMC’s IWTV with sprinkles of book canon. Some notes about the comic below:

As with my last comic, I am not a native English speaker, so I hope you keep that in mind when reading <3 trying my best here meow meow

The Rothko retrospective can be visited until 2nd of April of 2024 in Louis Vuitton Foundation. I visited the place in January, so the comic’s surroundings are a mix of memories and some image searches, but in no way fully accurate. Since visiting Paris next week is probably not an option for most people, the foundation has a very cool free app, where you can listen to an audio guide about Rothko and paintings in the exhibition. I mostly used their app as a source for this comic, so in case you want to learn more, go here: https://www.fondationlouisvuitton.fr/en/events/mark-rothko

I listened to a lot of Morton Feldman’s Rothko Chapel -album while making this. So put it in playing in the background if you’re into that sort of thing. Link to the playlist on youtube

Since I am Finnish and I found out that one of LVF’s first exhibition had some Finnish painter’s work, ofc I had to include them… Page 14 has Schjerfbeck’s “Dancing Shoes” and Gallen-Kallela’s “Kullervo Cursing”.

Ok finally some headcanon stuff: in my head, while writing this comic, I imagined Daniel having accepted the dark gift from Armand, but both of them wanting him to live as a human as long as possible to enjoy the benefits of a… mortal body. :’D Since, you know, vampirism is forever anyway, so why not enjoy the variety of bodily fluids, body heat, aches and weirdness of aging? While having a chronic illness is shitty, his life is not, and while his disability marginalizes him, there’s a perspective there, a person living and enjoying things, allowed to take space and feel his thoughts develop from these changes (that also affect over 6 million people around the world with Parkinson’s).

After finishing the comic I am not so sure if Daniel is going to be turned into a vampire after all. So your guesses are as good as mine, would love to hear your suggestions, hehe!

I wish we knew more about Daniel’s daughters! I just came up with something here because I wanted to draw them and wanted to see their dynamics as a family.

I have now read the Devil’s Minion part from Queen of the Damned as a separate short story and appreciate the TV show’s changes to Daniel even more. I can’t wait for S2…..

My sincerest thanks to @anaid-queen for being a test audience, my informant and such a cheerleader the past week <3<3<3

Hope you enjoy xoxo

SORRY I POSTED THE WRONG IMAGE FILES FIRST WAHHH I had to repost ;_;

#armandaniel #verimuru art #iwtv #amc iwtv #iwtv fanart #daniel molloy #armand the vampire #the vampire armand #tvc #old man daniel #daniel x armand #iwtv 2022 #iwtv fancomic #the devils minion #armand #interview with the vampire

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eamour · 1 year

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the void craze

as many of you already might now, the "void" state, also called the "i am" state, is a method coined by neville goddard which became popular and famous for its rather unique way of manifesting your desires. just like with every method being put on a pedestal, there are a hand full of problems that come along with it. with this post, i want to help you gain clarity but also consciousness (no pun intended) about your outlook on this method.

problems of obsessing over a state

disregarding your outer reality. you have responsibilities and things to look after in the physical world that — even if you can change and get rid of them — need your attention. you exist in both, 4D and 3D. as long as you are aware of yourself physically, you need to care for yourself.

disregarding your inner reality. by constantly being in a state of waiting and wanting, you keep desiring. you keep occupying a state of mind and refuse to change it — in other words, change your "i am" — and will remain in that state assuming you don't "enter" the void state.

dismissing your feelings and emotions. this point is less about you desiring something but more about your emotional well being. by not fulfilling yourself from within, you are enslaved to your senses and will continue to upset yourself with the 3D, starting to bottle up your emotions.

becoming indifferent to your surroundings. you might start to disregard everything around you and force yourself not to negatively react or acknowledge the outer world.

developing unhealthy habits. some people are likely to isolate themselves, some begin to spend an unhealthy amount of time on the internet (specifically apps like tumblr or youtube), some ruin their sleep schedules to attempt once they are truly sleepy, and so on.

overconsuming information. with people spending a significant amount of time online, it enables the possibility of people taking in more information than they actually need (also causing people to doubt or double-check their knowledge).

overcomplicating the method. now, entering the void is easy. all you do is "enter" a specific state of mind, something you do all the time with many many different states all day long. but people love to think that it's different with the void as it's such an "important" state to occupy (which it is not).

refusing to change from within. as you rely on one method to change your life entirely, you are not willing to take the lead and to "manifest the usual way". you don't want to try any other method, nor make an effort to try something else.

focusing solely on the void. you are convinced that the void will be your saviour and fix all of your problems immediately which is why you see no point in manifesting another way. you are certain that the void is the only way to shift your reality easily, quickly and effortlessly.

trusting only the void. it's easy to give up all efforts to manifest your desires with other methods when you feel that manifesting without the void seems too difficult, hard or too exhausting.

mistrusting other methods. you might also feel like other methods don't work as "good" or "efficiently" as the void method.

putting your life on hold. while many people try to attempt to "enter the void" aka "become pure consciousness" at night or once they get into a sleepy, drowsy state, they tend to fail to care about their lives for several hours throughout the day. they dismiss improving their lives, start losing hope and stop to invest in themselves, as they see no point in "trying" to change anything. they believe that achieving change will only be worth it or purposeful once they do it via the void state.

conditioning your desires. waiting for the best moment to attempt, meaning once you are tired, doesn't mean to condition your desires. it's thinking that you can only attempt around that time that makes you condition your desires.

discrediting your power. since the void is known to change lives drastically, some lean towards ascribing more power to this method compared to themselves.

believing in an external power. some even believe the void is a place that exists outside of them rather than viewing the void as a state of reaching pure consciousness.

doubting your abilities. you can draw this conclusion once you begin to think that a state of mind has more power over you than the person that has the ability to choose and to occupy any state of mind they wish to.

burning out. if you have "failed" to identify with that state of mind, you are very likely to develop beliefs implying things such as being unable to manifest, being out of control and overall giving up on yourself.

advice

i didn't make this post for the solely purpose to scare you off and to persuade you not to try the void method at all. i made this post for you to understand the many many unnecessary thoughts all around this method. these are things that people do or think once they start to make their happiness depend on a method, a state that they are infinitely greater than.

i want to encourage you to try out any method that you are interested in and determined to master. do as you please, regardless of the opinions of other people. but always keep in mind: it's nothing you can't achieve. and remember, just like neville said, the conceiver is ever greater than his conception — meaning, you will always and forever be more powerful than any state of mind you could possibly think of.

with love, ella.

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little-miss-dilf-lover · 10 months

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hii love, how are you doing? 🫶🏻

so, i just read your latest pietro hcs and it's SO GOOD😭 (like everything else that you write, i'm literally in love with your writing) and i had an idea

can i request an angry love confession from pietro after him and the reader go to a mission together and she puts herself at risk to save him?

like, they're friends with benefits, but are distant bc both of them had developed feelings for each other, but neither say anything bc they think the other only wants sex, like you said. the reader putting herself at risk during the mission to save pietro it's the last straw for him, he gets angry and freaked out by the idea of losing her. so, after the mission, they're arguing and it ends up leading to an angry love confession 😏😏

hii lovie!! im sorry this has taken so long, it took me ages to figure out how to get them out of the danger part, so I took a break from it and had no luck so left that part blank. but you’ll see what I mean😭 and im doing well, hope you are too. thank you :(( you’re so sweet!! thanks for requesting, hope you like it💌

MISTAKES AND CONFESSIONS

pietro maximoff x female reader

word count. 869

link to fwb hc’s

As of late, things with Pietro have been a little confusing - tricky, if you will - the complications of being friends with benefits making themselves more apparent after every meet-up.

Everything was going well, all going as planned, until the unforeseen moment when you actually fell in love with him. At the beginning of your elevated friendship, you both promised it would be strictly hook-ups, no strings attached, nothing else. And that's what you did - up until three weeks ago.

After a while, you found yourself declining his invitations to meet up, like you were starting to pull back from him. It grew more difficult to be around someone so unattainable, to have the constant reminder of his romantic disinterest, so instead, you withdrew yourself to make it less painful.

So now, when you cross paths at the compound, instead of a nervous hidden smile behind your hand, you avoid his gaze completely - turning your attention to the weather app on your phone.

It wasn't easy to ignore him, but it was getting there - that's what you told yourself, anyway.

All of your attempts to avoid Pietro got flipped on its head when the two of you got paired together for a mission - to retrieve intel from an enemy base. It was supposed to be a low-risk assignment: get in, collect the information and get out, but nothing is ever that simple.

As soon as you and Pietro stepped foot in the room of said intel, you noticed a red hue shine from under his foot. You immediately tugged at his arm, halting his movements when you realised what you had both walked into.

"Pietro! Wait, wait, wait," you call out, gripping at his upper arm. "Don't move. Keep still," you ramble, eagerly looking around the space.

"What is it?"

"The room— it's got these— I don't know, just keep still," you breathe out a reply, feeling flustered.

"It's okay," Pietro offers a brief moment of reassurance, keeping his eyes glued ahead - keeping still as instructed. "Are you okay? Are you on one, too?" he hesitantly asks.

"No, no, but you are and— I don't know what to do. Nat taught me what to do with these and— god, why isn't my brain working?" you mumble, frustratedly speaking your mind when you think about the possibility of something awful actually happening to Pietro - to both of you.

"Draga, it's fine. Really, it's okay," he whispers, slowly extending his hand behind, like he was awkwardly reaching for you.

"No, keep still— please. Just let me think,"

"You should go,"

"No, give me a minute,"

"Please, milovat. You need to go,"

"I said no. Just give me a second,"

You even your breathing, running an uneasy hand over your forehead as you assess your surroundings.

----- after ------ (im sorry about this, my brain broke)

You avoid each other's gaze, separately processing everything that happened - how you were both about to be blown to pieces, how you were willing to let yourself die to get Pietro out.

"That was so stupid," Pietro mutters, keeping his eyes fixed on a tree ahead.

"Excuse me?" you reply, neck whipping around to face him.

"That was so stupid," he repeats, emphasising each word.

"Are you kidding?" you snicker. "If you had minded where you were going we wouldn't have had to done all that."

"So you're saying it's my fault?" he retorts, face grimacing.

"Yes. I am," you retaliate. "It's your fault."

You both sigh, growing frustrated with the conversation. It was as if there was so much left unsaid, it all coming together like a whirlwind of mixed emotions - everything from your failed 'relationship' to no contact to just now. It was like you were both holding back on everything, too scared to bring up the subject that tarnished your original friendship.

"I told you to go, and you didn't. That's not on me. That's on you! Don't blame me for things we both messed up on."

"Me? That's rich,"

"Yes, you! Nothing is ever your fault, is it?" he sneers, the argument changing subject.

"You never listen! Always thinking about yourself,"

"Bullshit," he dryly chuckles, unamused smile on his face.

"I don't want to do this. It's boring and tiring," you cave, waving your hands in sign of defeat. "I give up. You win."

Pietro huffs, rubbing over his temples. "If you had just gone..." he murmurs, talking at the floor.

"I couldn't! I couldn't leave you,"

"Yes, you could. You should've gone. You could have died," Pietro's words soften as if it all hit him how real it was - how he could have lost you again, but for good. "You could've died."

"So could you," you turn to face him, meeting his saddened eyes.

His hands drop to his side as he steps towards you, walking to close the gap - the closest you had been in weeks. He keeps his gaze solely on you, looking over you like you're no longer a distant memory, like he was seeing you in a new light - the way he was supposed to see you.

He cups your cheeks, holding your face in his hands. "I could have lost you again."

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

pietro taglist: @astermath @thewinterv @earth-elemental18 @lunnnix @idontknowwhattohaveasmyuser @randomawesomeperson102 @queerponcho @selfryed @daenerys-supremacy @dontknownameauthor @mrsbarnesxxx @honestly-who-even-is-this @simplyreflected @apxtowiris

#request #this is so bad omg im so sorry!!#pietro maximoff #pietro maximoff x reader #pietro x reader #pietro imagine #pietro maximoff x you #pietro maximoff fluff #pietro marvel

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brownsugar-dreams · 5 months

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Another Approach To Online Sugaring

Recently I took a break from dating. The dating apps can get exhausting and sometimes you’re just not in a place where you have the physical/emotional energy to get dressed up and go out. I didn’t want the money to stop, so I decided to start camming again but only for online sugar dating(OSD)/girlfriend experience (GFE). It’s been such a success I decided to make a post about it.

When I reactivated my no face cam accounts, I started casually talking to users in my chat rooms. There were a good share of users who just want to chat. If you have an outgoing personality, this is really easy and comes natural. We would talk about all sorts of things from what they do for work/fun, casual interests, kinks. I’d tell them stories, my POVs on pop culture topics, fantasies, made up stuff. At this point I noticed specific users were tipping in the general chat. I focused on those users and made sure to show them the most attention and they continued to tip. They’d often initiate a private session (more $ per min) and we’d continue chatting.

If you’re consistent with signing in at least 1-2x a week, it’s easy to find someone who adores you. I created a Snapchat (SC) profile and advertised it on my cam site as a way for users to connect with me 1:1. Set it up so they have to pay to get the username. Using SC, I posted no face pics with a link to my wishlist/cashapp and sparingly answered messages (mostly messages inquiring about pricing/services never free endless chatting). Later I created a price menu for services offered and shared that from time to time on my story. Once a relationship is established, it’s super easy to straight up ask for money. Since they met you on a paid cam site they already know what’s up so don’t let anyone pretend to be naive or use your time for free.

Overall this has been a flexible way to earn money that is relatively easy and low maintenance. Most of these clients are lonely and desperate for female attention so making each feel special is the key.

Things to Note/Logistics

I personally don’t show my face by having the cam positioned from the neck down. But other no face cam girls have talked about using full or half face masks to conceal their identity. Given the nature of “professionalism” in our fields I can understand a lot of us wanting to preserve our identities. But do what you’re comfy with! I’d suggest no nudity in free chat otherwise users will be less likely to pay for private.

Each cam site is different and pays differently. Most let you adjust your price settings as you like. I researched the sites with the most consistent/quickest payout schedule and reputation by searching Reddit posts and cam girl forums. I picked my favorite sites shared below.

To maximize earnings, I stream multiple sites at a time by opening tabs. Some use OBS software but I haven’t had the time to figure out how to incorporate that yet.

I changed the settings to allow only users with money to participate in chat. This helps reduce hecklers and incels looking for a free show.

Sites have varying popularity during different times/day. Keep that in mind when starting out so that you can develop a schedule. We’re busy professionals irl so making sure to cam on days/nights that have the most earning potential saves a lot of time.

Different clients have different needs so it’s important to be flexible and only take on clients you’d be comfortable with. I have clients that want me to be bossy and mean while others want a more traditional GFE where they’re the caretaker (think MTS “daddy am I your baby” type of thing lol).

Tips to Earn More

Share your wishlist in your bio across platforms. I like to use throne.

Create a links page and share to let your big spenders get notified when you’re online. I use beacons

I use sextpanther to supplement on weeks that are too busy to cam. I love the convenience of texting and it yields good money.

If you want to incorporate toys in your private shows when you’re starting out, use Aliexpress to order cheap toys. Eventually when you gain a consistent following, I suggest making the guys pay for anything they’d like to see you use and of course non sexual gifts for you too!

Keep a list/diary of users to keep track across platforms. Make note of their interests/kinks/imp things they’ve shared so you can refer to it during sessions.

Successful Cam Sites: CB CS

Keep working towards your goals!😘❤️✨

#sugar bowl #sugar lifestyle #sugar baby tips #making money online #sugar dating #heaux tips #sugar life #hypergamy #black women in luxury #money mindset #levelup #cammodel #online money #student life

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orobivrse · 5 months

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scrap metal ♡ (frobin)

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

genre: hurt/comfort

pairings: nico robin x franky

wc: 2.2k

cw: mental illness, depression, body dysmorphia, dysphoria (but like cyborg dysphoria), comfort, angst, fluff, suggestive references, self harm, franky feels less than human

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

I know x reader tends to do better on this app but I deeply adore frobin and I've always thought about the idea of franky struggling with his humanity. Its been a headcanon of mine since he was properly introduced.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Franky could never understand people who didn't have an inner monologue. His brilliant mind runs a hundred miles a minute; he's always got something to think about. He internally discusses future inventions and ship-building plans or sings to himself while he works. He spends most of his time thinking about his Nico Robin. He replays the day she said yes to being his partner in his head daily; he could spend hours thinking about her hair and smile. The mere thought of her tears fills Franky with a deep-seated rage. All she has to do is look at him, and he's on cloud nine.

Franky is in his development room, working on a new weapon design, when the door creaks open. He looks up to see Robin making her way over to where he's standing by his desk.

“Hello, pretty lady,” he says, his voice raising in volume as his mood picks up instantly upon seeing the woman he loves. Robin giggles at the affectionate term and stretches up on her tiptoes to kiss the underside of Franky's jaw.

“Hello, Honey.” One of Franky's large hands settles around her waist to keep her at his side. Thinking about Robin when she's not with him, his emotions run high, but when she's in his arms, he's completely relaxed and able to enjoy her company without wandering fears of losing her literally or figuratively. He leans down and pushes his face into her neck; the cold of his metal nose makes her flinch at first, but once she adjusts to the feeling, she threads a hand through his hair and lets out a happy sigh as Franky presses his lips to her skin. He's wary of how much bigger than Robin he is and hurting her is an unforgivable sin, so he's gentle with his affection. He might be gentle, but he's still a pervert, so when his palm opens up to reveal a smaller hand that dips into the waistband of Robin's skirt, she tugs his hair to get him to lean back and look her in the eyes. She presses a kiss to his lips, which he happily reciprocates. “As handsome and tempting as you are, you need to behave. Anybody could walk in.”

She's right - of course, she is - Usopp, Chopper and Nami are all frequent visitors to Franky's workshop. He nods at her words, flushing red at the compliments. The compliments he's used to refer exclusively to how cool and ‘inhuman’ he looks. People tell him how talented he is as a shipwright and inventor in general, but anything regarding his looks comes off more as someone talking about a suped-up car than a human being. It's the one thing he can't get used to in his relationship with Robin. He knows she's not lying to him and that she really does find him attractive, but he still can't grasp how different it feels to be desired. He's completely prideful and not at all shy when he's pleasing her. In the bedroom, he's fully confident, but something as sweet and innocent as a kiss on the cheek has him so shell-shocked that he can barely speak.

“So, how come my beautiful angel came to visit me?” Franky asks after clearing his throat and going back to staring at his blueprints. Robin cheerfully laughs at the pet name. Franky has asked her how she really felt about all his dramatic names for her, and she had told him that they make her feel special; she had also made a morbid comment under her breath about how they'd add to an emotional yet creative eulogy for her one day and Franky had pretended not to hear it.

“I wanted to make sure you're getting enough food and cola”, she smiles, kissing the left side of his chest. Robin places a plate of food down on the desk, and he guesses Sanji had dished up dinner and Franky had been so focused on his getting some work done that he hadn't heard the cooks call for food over his inner argument over what size gun to add to his robot. He thanks Robin and begins to eat. When he's finished with his food, Robin picks up the plate and leaves, promising him she'll visit later as she goes.

Franky is once again left alone with his thoughts.

As he's working, his reflection in a mirror leaning against the wall catches his eye and Franky flinches. Sometimes, he forgets what he looks like and seeing a huge cyborg as flashy as him is jarring. He has to remind himself he's not a little child anymore; he's something way cooler. He goes back to his work and tries to ignore the thoughts that begin to swarm him. His eyes keep getting drawn to the metal on his body. He recalls how earlier Robin had flinched at the cold metal of his nose and how difficult it is sometimes just to hold her without fear he'll hurt her. Sometimes, he thinks she would be better off with someone who can keep her warm at night, like Jinbe or maybe someone younger and more conventionally attractive, like Zoro or Law. Franky is a brash and loud man, but deep in the pits of his heart, there still lies the broken, abandoned kid. The feelings of worthlessness that took over his body as a child never truly left him; even after he tried over and over again to replace them with metal.

His smaller hands shake as he finishes his food and pushes his plate away. He tries to pick up his pen and write again, but he can't focus at all. His initial plans have taken a backseat to the unrelenting self-doubt that he tries to keep locked away behind his smile. He pushes on with his work, absent-mindedly scribbling down plans for a self-upgrade. He doesn't realise he's crying until the door handle clicks and snaps him back to his senses. Now he's acutely aware that he's crying and that one of his crewmates is about to see him. Franky's manly tears aren't unheard of, so he's able to play it off to usopp, who has come to ask about weapon materials, as simply inventing something so cool it's made him emotional. Usopp laughs, tells Franky he can't wait to see it and leaves after getting the advice he'd requested. The tears leave Franky feeling off-kilter for the rest of the day.

Later that night, Franky is entirely unable to sleep. He tries to focus on Robin, who's sleeping beside him and matches her breathing, but it doesn’t work. He shifts around to get comfortable and rests a large hand on Robin's waist, and then it all comes crashing down. That hand is not a human hand. When you press his metal nose, it changes his hair, and that's not human anatomy. His stomach has an empty chamber that uses cola as a fuel, and that's not human. He has weaponry built into his body, and that's not human. Franky is not human.

He makes a strangled noise as if he's gasping for air, and he scrambles to his feet. The noise wakes Robin, and she asks what's wrong, voice laced with concern. Franky doesn't notice she's awake, and he can't hear her question over the uncomfortable ringing in his ears. He makes his way out to the deck, ignoring the worried expressions of Nami and Usopp, who are still awake. He can't verbally describe how he feels, but he reaches to his shoulder, where metal meets skin, and begins to claw. His fingers dent the metal with force, and he only stops when a hand much larger than his covers his and stops his movements. He looks up and sees Robin has used her power. She leans down to where he's knelt on the deck and when she comes into view, Franky notices she has tears in his eyes. He can hear Nami crying behind him and sees Usopp shaking out of the corner of his eye. A new feeling stirs in his gut that makes him feel ten times worse.

He feels guilty for upsetting them. He apologises, but Robin shushes him, cradling his face in her hands. The gentle care with which she approaches him is enough to kick-start the waterworks and Franky is once again reduced to tears. He sobs so hard it causes a sharp pain in his chest. Robin shoos away the younger strawhats and promises to give them an update later. It's now just the two of them and Franky slumps forward, burying his face into Robin's shoulder. His tears haven't subsided, but he starts to apologise before he can stop himself. He repeats ‘I'm sorry’, and though Robin's skin muffles the sound, she can hear him fine and well.

“What are you apologising for, sweetheart? What's wrong?” asks Robin, wiping his tears with her thumbs, and she holds his face to look at her. Franky flounders for an answer, struggling to find his voice. Robin is patient as always and gives him a moment to collect himself.

He doesn't know what to say. How can he tell her he feels alien, like a passenger in his own body? That his ‘skin’ doesn't feel like it belongs on his body. He doesn't know how to explain how nauseous the sight of his own ‘body’ has been making him feel without sounding crazy. Robin is an understanding woman, but how much can she take?

“I feel more like a box of scrap metal than a human”, he says, cringing at how raspy and unsure his voice sounds. Robin remains silent, expression unchanging as she listens to his explanation. “I just wanted to get out of this ugly body. I didn't mean to scare you or the kids”, he says. He tries to avert his eyes despite Robin's hold on his face. He worries he's upset Robin further, but she leans forward to press a kiss to his forehead.

“First of all, I'm not scared of you, and neither are Nami and Usopp. We're just worried about you because we love you.” she says, moving a hand from his face to run it through his hair. “Secondly, your body is not ugly. You're my Franky and I like you just the way you are.” Her voice wraps around the violent words in his mind and strangles them out, easing his mind slightly. “I'm not going to pretend that I understand your pain, but I do know how it feels to be shunned, and I want you to know that will never happen to you here with us.”

Franky listens intently as Robin speaks. Her words don't take away his pain, but they at least calm him down. The strange, itchy feeling under his skin eases up and he relaxes in Robin's embrace. He kisses her neck and whispers a thank you in her ear. She's patient with him as he lets her comforting words repeat in his head. His tears have stopped, but there's still one question bothering him, and he's unsure if it's appropriate to ask right now. Sensing that he has something to say, Robin encourages him to speak up.

“Do you ever consider leaving me? Like don't you want someone more attractive like -” This time, instead of being patient and letting him finish, Robin cuts him off with a scoff, shuffling so she's sitting in his lap.

“You look at me right now, silly man,” she says, guiding him to look in her eyes. “I love you, I want you, I need you,” she says. Surprisingly, it's the word ‘want’ that gets him the most. It's not that Robin needs Franky around to fulfil some type of urge but simply that she wants to spend time with him. They like each other just as much as they love each other, and the reassurance makes Franky's stomach stir for an entirely different reason. “and there is no one as attractive as you. You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen,” she punctuates her sentence with a kiss to his lips. Franky feels much better now.

“What about Jinbe?” Franky asks to lighten the mood. It's common knowledge that Robin had a crush on Jinbe at first (so did Franky, but he'll never admit it)

“Hey! You like him too. We invited him into the bedroom once. You're my man forever,” she says, laughing into another kiss. They're sitting in silence for a while when Robin starts to yawn. “Now that you're feeling better. Do you want to go to bed?” she says, covering his cheeks in more kisses. Franky gets to his feet, scooping Robin up and carrying her off to bed

When Franky wakes up the following day, Robin is pressed up against his side and he feels at peace. As if she can sense him staring at her, Robin opens her eyes for a second, then smiles and goes back to sleep, snuggling further into his side. Franky feels content as he relaxes into the mattress. For now, his unsure feelings have subsided, and he feels more like himself. He knows they're likely to come again, but he also knows he'll have Robin and the rest of his family to help him.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

frobin is so cute to me so I just wanted to write a cute comfort oneshot about them 😭

#franky my beloved ☹️#one piece #frobin #franky #robin #cyborg franky #nico robin #franky x robin #one piece oneshots #one piece imagine #anime #franky imagine #robin imagine #frobin imagine #frobin oneshot #op #☁️.one piece #☁️.robin #☁️.franky

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campgender · 6 months

Note

i was scrolling your “life is in your home too” tag, which I love btw, and saw a post about how you learned to be a good dom from experienced expert doms by reading how they dom and some of their best scenes, do you think you could point me in the direction of some resources for me to study that too? thanks in advance, if not, thanks anyway!

(post referenced is here - link 1)

first of all tysm for this ask (+ your incredibly kind follow-up), it was a delight to receive + i’ve been wanting an excuse to talk about a lot of this for a while so i very much appreciate the interest!

as always please keep in mind that i am Just Some Fem, nothing is universal including when it comes to D/s & i can only speak to what works for me. i try to focus on starting points rather than specifics but ultimately my advice will always be limited by what i needed to hear & wasn’t told, which may not be what’s helpful for a different person. with that being said, here’s some suggestions!

i’ve posted a previous reading list (link 2) with relevant recs; particularly the practicality + sex writing sections have the kind of thing you’re looking for. specifically, The New Topping Book (2003) is a solid starting point; i definitely have my issues with it (haven’t read it recently enough to recall many specifics but i have the sense of general pervasive racism & ableism) but it did a good job at making me think & i appreciate the supportive tone they were going for

another book added to my tbr since then is Coming to Power (link 3), released by SAMOIS in 1983

other authors whose sex writing has been influential in my life: Sandra Cisneros, Natalie Diaz, Joan Nestle, Judy Grahn

the fic At The End of His Rope by Letterblade (link 4) is genuinely some of my favorite sex writing of all time & accomplishes the incredibly impressive feat of representing a broad array of dom styles & changes over time in the same piece

my “impurity culture” tag (link 5) houses the building blocks of my sexual ethic

i’ve found many of those foundations by poking around the incredible bodies of work original & archived @newsmutproject @woman-loving @gatheringbones

for me, studying sex is the same as studying poetry – reading for craft is a different process than for pleasure (not that there isn’t a great deal of pleasure to be found in such practice, especially for sadists – perhaps that’s why as a child i never resonated with Billy Collins’ “Introduction to Poetry,” like i love tying poems to chairs & beating them idk what to tell you). so, keeping in mind that these are suggestions not requirements, here’s how i read for + work on craft:

there is no such thing as too much journaling. this can take whatever form you prefer – voice memo, discord message to yourself, the noble notes app, your own personal sexy red string corkboard, a vast & stunning array of other approaches i can’t even begin to imagine. i personally have an elaborate web of spreadsheets & google docs lmao. what matters is developing a collection of ideas you want to play with + a practice of continually reflecting on past experiences.

pay attention to structure, not just content. find a scene you think is disjointed and pick at the seams, brainstorm better transitions. then find a scene that flows so smoothly it carries you with it and figure out what makes it work.

rewrite a scene you’re drawn to or affected by to suit your own preferences. i first did this when i couldn’t shake “Interlude 3” (link 6) from my head after reading The New Topping Book; you can read my variation on the theme here (link 7) if you’re interested.

write or think through a scene fantasy you have from negotiation to aftercare. obviously it’s very difficult if not impossible to fully script a scene in advance; the purpose isn’t planning something you’ll later do but rather getting used to coming up with ideas to get from one disparate moment / act to the next.

revisit a scene you’ve read, written, thought about, etc and list the physical & mental acts that are required / expected of the sub (eg, kneeling for 10 minutes; making eye contact; counting to 30, etc). then rework the scene for a sub who has the same interests & goals who cannot do 20% (or 50%, or any) of these acts.

revisit a previous scene and list the places where you think a sub might safeword & why. then rework it with the sub safewording somewhere that isn’t any of these places.

i also recommend keeping in mind that like… for me, reading about ethical sex can often be a very distressing process for the same reason that it’s liberating: because it proves that things i’ve experienced are not the way sex has to be. i’ll tell this story in its fullness one day but the first time i read S/HE by Minnie Bruce Pratt i literally had a flashback to events i’d repressed for years, it was devastating, i’m so grateful for it. hell, in the process of compiling resources for this post i cried twice editing this quote (link 8) because between reading that book the first time & now someone did “respond with scorn or ridicule” when i safeworded. so i would really encourage folks to approach this kind of work with as much grace & comfort for yourself as you can muster or borrow – if it’s really fucking hard, you’re not alone in that, & it’s okay to take your time + pace yourself + seek support.

your + others’ interest is definitely motivating me to actually write posts i’ve been tossing around for months so thank you again & feel free to keep an eye out for more shut-in sex tips in my new “tomorrow sexting will be good again” tag. would love to hear your thoughts on any of this post / these or other books / whatever really lol. wishing you all the best & i hope today is kind to you! 💓

#asks #D/s #reading lists #mac.txt #tomorrow sexting will be good again

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tiramissyoucake · 1 year

Text

My Sister’s Best Friend Is a Total Smokeshow(?!)

MINORS+AGELESS BLOGS DNI, Hyoma Chigiri X Reader, all characters are 18+, Reader is chigiri’s older sister’s best friend, Reader is female, middle school chigiri mentioned a few times but no focus on it, theres not enough info on chigiri’s sister, 2k words

CW: NSFW, penetration, creampie, chigiri and reader fuck in chigiri’s childhood bedroom, tiddy sucking, clothed sex, no proof reading

Notes: no words shawty I wanna go to bed and read and play video games and write like theres so many things I wanna do and all I end up doing is sleeping aLSO I ACCIDENTALLY GOT LUOCHA WHILE TRYING TO BUILD PITY FOR BLADE WTHHHHH I WASNT EVEN GUARANTEED

The first time Chigiri saw you was when he was in middle school, he came home and heard chatter coming from his sister’s room, curiosity got the best of him although he still had the decency to knock first.

“Oh! Hyoma, Welcome home! (Name), this is my little brother.” His sister introduced, you were sitting next to her on her bed more upright as she was more relaxed, you smiled and nodded in acknowledgment to him.

“It’s good to meet you! Your sister’s told me a lot about you!” Maybe it was the hormones that came with his age but the younger Chigiri thought you were really pretty, his body followed orders like a robot to seem natural in front of you; he returned the nod, introduced himself and quickly excused himself, apologizing and closing the door to give his sister and you your privacy.

When you left, his sister waved bye to you at the front door and he stood behind her quietly before he let out a surprised noise when you waved bye to him as well, his sister wrote it off as puberty and that he would’ve acted like this towards any older girl. Immediately after she shut the door he bombarded her with questions: “what did you guys talk about?” “What did you tell her about me?”

After he calmed down, he found out that your family actually recently moved into the neighborhood and you met both his mother and his sister when you came by to introduce yourself, when he wasn’t home.

Slowly, as Chigiri grew older and as you visited more often, he would become more comfortable with you although there was a line he couldn’t cross due to the age gap (you being his sister’s age) and certain unspoken rules relating to siblings and friends:

1. Chigiri is only allowed to know surface level information about you

2. Chigiri was not allowed to befriend you on the same level as his sibling’s

3. If Chigiri wanted to gift you something, he’d have to do it through his sister

4. Chigiri was utterly positively definitely absolutely completely NOT ALLOWED to romance you in any way, shape or form.

He knew his sister wouldn’t have minded him getting chummy with you but he had a nagging feeling that it would still be awkward, the rules seemed extreme to outsiders however in his mind he knew that he needed to keep to these rules to avoid hostility, awkwardness or misunderstandings.

It was enough you were the center interest during Chigiri’s ‘girl-crazy’ phase, even as he grew out of it he found himself still thinking of nights where he thought of you in a romantic light.

Slowly Chigiri had forgotten about you during his time at Blue Lock’s institution, he focused on bettering himself in all aspects to achieve his dream, although deep down he couldn’t help but indulge in the nagging feeling that he wanted to see you again.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Life was going great after blue lock, with all his football achievements Chigiri barely had time to visit his family between tours although he made sure to stay in contact any way he could; letters, texting, sending gifts, long video calls.

As his career progressed Chigiri developed a certain talent for planning, the calendar app became one of his most frequented apps on his phone and he would sometimes write down potential dates he could use to go visit his family on any surface available be it a napkin, scrap paper and even the back of a receipt.

Finally all his rapid planning paid off, he managed to get two free weeks all to himself (one of those two weeks were labeled under ‘rest - doctor’s orders’).

An excited giddy feeling filled Chigiri’s chest as his taxi neared his home, the familiar scenery invoking a sense of nostalgia as the car slowed and arrived at his destination, his family’s house.

He bid the driver goodbye and paid his expenses, approaching the door he was a bit unsure of how to go about his return, should he knock on the door? Ring the doorbell? Was he allowed to barge in? He knew his mother kept a spare key under the mat. He settled for ringing the doorbell and he didn’t have to wait long until the door swung open, and his dear sister greeted him with a bone crushing hug.

“Hyoma!! Mom! Hyoma’s here!!” he could hear his mother yell out ‘Hyoma’s here?!’ and he returned the hug to the best of his abilities, patting her back with a strained hand.

“Good to see you too, sis...! could you let go...?” She let go and finally allowed him to breathe properly, frowning a bit she dragged him inside “we don’t see you for months and now you don’t want to hug your big sister anymore?” she teased, Chigiri rolled his eyes at his sister’s drama as he hugged his mother, she happily welcomed him home.

He noticed from the corner of his eye someone else was here, a figure in the kitchen.

“Hey (Name)! guess who decided to pay us a visit too!”

His heart throbbed in his chest, theres no way she meant…? No, its probably a different person with your name! you’re probably busy with your own responsibilities somewhere else

“Hyoma..? oh, welcome home! I wouldn’t have visited if I knew you were coming!” he saw you move out the kitchen and attempt to reach for your coat, his sister stopped you and led you over to him.

“oh hush, if anything it was probably fate! Hyoma, you remember (Name), right?”

For a moment, he forgot he was supposed to answer, he stuttered and tried mustering the smoothest answer he could “How could I forget? You and sis are always together!”

A flustered laugh escaped you and he had to mentally smack himself to focus and not turn into a smitten maiden, just as everyone else in the house gave him a ‘welcome home’ hug, he accepted yours (after his sister insisted that you two were well beyond a handshake.)

Chigiri was certain he would be fine if he saw you again now that he was older and more mature of his feelings, yet as he stood in his family’s home, in front of you, he felt like he was transported back in time turning into that shy teenager who wanted your attention more than anything else.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Guilt wracked Chigiri’s entire being, one moment he was showing you around his childhood bedroom when you made a casual comment about never seeing it, the moment he offered he wanted to throw himself out the nearest window in embarrassment.

Yet a small part of him was ecstatic he offered, otherwise his tongue wouldn’t be in your mouth right now as he muffled your noises caused by his wandering hands, Chigiri felt disgusted with his behavior; making out with his sister’s best friend as his family was in the kitchen preparing dinner.

Everytime you tried speaking through kisses, he would either smother your lips with another or he would cut you off by admitting how much he desired you, the perverted thoughts that plagued him once now resurfacing.

“Hyoma-“

“you’re so pretty like this, y’know?” his voice came out in a hushed whisper wanting no one but you to hear him, “I’ve always had feelings for you.” It felt so good to say it to you.

Your body responded to his advances, squirming or moaning into his kisses as quietly as you could, Chigiri slide his hand beneath your shirt sliding upwards until it reached your breasts, his fingers pinched at your nipples and prodded at the soft flesh squeezing as if trying to memorize the shape of your body in his hands.

“you’re driving me crazy.” He mumbled desperately after separating from a particularly wet kiss, a thin string of saliva connected your lips before splitting and disappearing “Can I fuck you? Please? I promise I’ll be quick..”

His question made you more flustered than you already were, you always knew Chigiri as your best friend’s shy and reserved brother, hearing him say such vulgarities felt foreign to your ears. Yet you found yourself hesitantly nodding “Okay.. but we have to be quiet..!”

Pinning you down to his bed he shoved your shirt above your chest to give him easy access, Chigiri rolled up your long skirt running his hands over the skin of your legs and thighs enjoying the way you shivered under his touch.

He knew you two needed to be quick so he couldn’t be bothered to remove your panties, only pulling them aside and giving a few testing strokes to your wet slit. He felt his cock throb as your arousal coated his fingers, he kissed you once more as you held back a moan.

“so wet, this is all for me, yeah?” he whispered harshly and chuckled as you tried catching your breath from his sudden boldness, hurriedly undoing his pants he couldn’t help but sigh in relief as he pulled his cock out of its confinement. Quickly positioning himself and pushing in he covered your mouth the moment he saw your lips part, he only let out a short hiss and bit down his bottom lip as to not groan loudly at the feeling of your cunt sucking him in.

The combination of his precum and your arousal allowed him to push in easily, he grunted as he bottomed out inside you, if only he this wasn’t such a risky place for him to fuck you he would have praised you for taking him so well.

Chigiri leaned down and kissed you deeply once more as he moved his hips back and forth in short quick thrusts, he set a goal to fuck you as good as he could with as minimal noise as possible, as much as he wanted to hear you scream his name he had to settle for the wet smacking his tongue would produce with yours as he kissed you deeply.

The idea made his cock jump in excitement, you moaning his name, not his family name, he only ever had the pleasure of you calling him by his first name if his sister was around as to not induce any confusion.

You always called out to him so innocently, always a simple lovely ‘Hyoma!’, what he wouldn’t give to hear you moan it like a desperate little slut.

He panted between kisses as he sped up his pace, feeling your heat hug him so deliciously, he could feel you tightening. Lowering his head to your breast he sucked harshly at one of your nipples producing a noise, he would have worried if he wasn’t lost in the pleasure of you running a hand through his hair and locking your legs around his waist, Chigiri could practically feel his brain short circuiting over how blissed out he felt fucking you.

As you tried recovering from the incoming oversensitivity, Chigiri nuzzled into your chest as he thrusted as deep as he could muffling his moans into your torso as he felt your pussy practically coax him into finishing inside, a shiver racked through him as he stilled his hips and grunted loudly feeling his cum fill you, warmth spreading deep inside you and he mentally cursed himself as he felt a few drops leak out.

“Hyoma.. you came lots..” he heard you whisper between pants, looking up at your flushed face he practically felt his heart shoot up to his throat, you looked so cute it was making him want to ditch dinner and give you a hotel keycard.

“Yeah… sorry..” and yet he didn’t move, he kept his cock nestled deep inside you even as he heard knocking at his closed door.

“Hyoma? (Name)? Dinner’s ready! What’re you two doing?”

“… just showing (Name) some of my old trading cards! We’ll be right there!” Chigiri quickly excused as he sat up, he had to hold back the smile on his face after seeing the look of embarrassment on yours.

With a groan, Chigiri’s sister left not wanting to hear more about the same cards her brother had been ranting to her about for years. Just as you sat up and made yourself decent, you felt him lean over you once more planting one last kiss on your lips.

“You called me ‘Hyoma’ that time..”

rule 4 of Chigiri's 'How to Interact With Your Sibling's Best Friend' manual™ was definitely broken.

#bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #bllk x you #bllk x female reader #blue lock x female reader #chigiri hyoma x you #chigiri hyoma x reader #hyoma chigiri x you #hyoma chigiri x reader

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artists-ally · 3 months

Note

I wanna start a blog but I’m not sure how to start off, I know I want to write and have some vague ideas but not sure what to do.

Any ideas or tips?

Alright get comfy I have so many things to say.

Above ALL. ELSE. for the love of god, do not give in to the pressure to constantly write. One day things will click on Tumblr, and asks and requests will start flooding in. You’re gonna get hundreds of likes and comments asking for more parts and whatnot. Do. Not. Give. In. To. The. Pressure. You’re going to get really excited, like “oh my god, finally I’m getting noticed and appreciated let me give them more!!” No. You will get burnt out and will hate it. Do it on your own time, whenever you want. Write what YOU want. Use that excitement in a way that has a positive impact on your work.

When it comes to planning what to write, just keep it simple. It doesn’t have to be some elaborate top to bottom detailed guide. I personally just use bullet points. And trust me, none of it has to be cohesive. It can literally just look like this:

Reader goes to a party

Azriel is standing mysteriously in the corner

They catch eyes from across the room

Reader is dancing with friends, and some rando dude comes up and starts feeling up on them

Reader tells him to back off

He doesn’t

Readers friend goes to intervene

Azriel comes from the corner and takes the guy outside to show him what happens when you disrespect a woman

Az makes sure you and your friend are okay

You two get talking and plan to go on a date

It can just be something like that. Or sometimes the best plan is no plan and see where your brain takes you. Whatever you do, just make sure you’re writing it because YOU want to write it. That it’s the kind of context you’d like to read, and everything else will fall into place with time.

3. Write whatever you’re feeling. If you’re sad, write whatever you need to make yourself feel better. Whether that’s fluff, angst, or something else. If you want to be comforted, write something about a character taking care of you. If you’re angry, write a crazy betrayal. It is just you, your mind, and google docs.

4. Don’t be worried if your writing doesn’t INSTANTLY take off. THATS just not how shit happens here. And here’s a little tip, depending on your timezones, you’ll want to post at different times. I’ve found that posting later in the evening, at like 6-8pm on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday will yield the best results. It’s when people are settling in for the night and want to relax and read some good shit. But honestly, post whenever, people will find it.

5. Make yourself a rules/who you write for and post it on your masterlist. By all means, go ahead and look at mine for inspiration. When you find your audience, they will ask for more. Let them know what/who you’re comfortable writing for.

6. MAKE FRIENDS. Having some support when you’re stuck on a plot point and don’t know where to go from there is so nice!! We have such an amazing community of writers here and I have made lifelong friends on this app. Everyone has their own bits of advice they could give and having a different perspective or fresh set of eyes is really helpful.

7. Model what you see. Everyone has to start their writing journey somewhere. I’m not sure if you’ve ever written fanfiction before, but the first couple you put out there are definitely not going to be your best work. And be okay knowing that. The more you read, the more styles of writing you look at to develops your own is how you get to that sweet spot where everything you write is consistent and good quality. It could take months and years, it certainly took me a long fucking time to be able to produce the work I do, and that’s just how it goes. I’m proud of the work I post, no matter if it’s for Suits or ACOTAR, I love everything I put out. Be patient with yourself and allow room for mistakes.

8. Have a note in your phone for all your random ideas you come up with while out and about. Happens to me ALLL the time. I constantly have new ideas and having one collection of them all, that’s easy to access anywhere, is so smart.

9. Let’s talk about the layout of your blog!! The number one thing you should have is a masterlist! A collection of all your links to your writing. Take a look at mine and any of your other favorite writers to see what aspects you like/dislike. It should be organized and easy on the eyes, try not to have a billion things on there that are unnecessary. You can link who/what you write, all your fics, and whatever else you wanna post about!! Whether your requests are open or closed. Stuff like that. Make it to your aesthetic and exactly what you want. It’s like decorating your room, it can be anything.

10. Last but certainly not least, welcome to the tumblr writing community. We are so excited to have you here love, and I cannot wait to see all the amazing work you put out. If you’re nervous, don’t be!! We’re all here to lift each other up and help along the way. If you ever have questions, feel free to reach out!! All of us had to start somewhere. We know what it’s like to spend weeks and months posting stuff to only get 30-40 likes. But it’ll happen one day. With one re-blog everything will change, you just have to be patient

I’m going to tag some of my besties and hopefully they’ll re-blog or comment some of their advice and welcome you in!!

@thelov3lybookworm @sarawritestories @readychilledwine @berryzxx @bubybubsters @claireswritingcorner @milswrites @fell-in-luvs @riddlesb1tch @pit-and-the-pen @thehighladywrites

#ally chats

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saezurumurmurs · 6 months

Text

A BL Platform For Everyone

NB: Please reblog this for visibility!

A little over two years ago, me and my BL crew were in our little chat sharing recommendations.

Cat had an impressive spread sheet, Marcie and I had iCloud Notes, and it was pretty much chaos.

I looked at it and said out loud, "There has to be a better way for us to keep track of our reads and share recommendations. There has to be right?"

Cat said she wished someone would build a BL app with everything already there. Me, a developer of almost thirty years, paused while a floodlight (not a light bulb) went off in my head.

“Well I could maybe build one… cause like, I build stuff. How would that be?”

By the end of the conversation Cat had invited me to build an app for BL.

Four weeks later, in late February of 2022, digitaljuicy.com was online.

In the last couple of years, I’ve been listening to the fandom, paying attention to feedback, poured over analytics, read your responses to the Reader’s Survey and continued to craft a platform with all this in mind.

What I have been building is 100% for us... there is nothing but BL and it is an attempt to encompass ALL of BL. Not just the bits and pieces.

But for two years I've been struggling. Struggling in many ways, but specifically to get what I wanted out of the platform. I tried and failed so many times.

In September of 2022 I tried to raise venture capital to build the platform I wanted for us. I pitched it to accelerators and true blue venture capital.

Juicy is what is called 'pre-seed'. Which means were still so new and evolving, under-resourced and while there was interest, there was no joy. No funding was raised.

In December 2023, I realised it was time to rethink Juicy. i have been on the deepest dive for months rebuilding Juicy from the ground up and preparing the framework for the mobile app.

I’ve built something I want to use… and wild, I’m building it and using it as a fan at the same time. I'm at the point where it's impossible not to want to share.

And what kind of platform do I mean? At its most basic level:

You can track your reads, watches and plays

You can review and recommend the titles to the community, your friends, strangers on Twitter, your friend you're trying to corrupt outside the fandom. Your poison.

Timelines for you, for titles, for episodes, chapters… just about everything. I mean everything: The creators, the publishers, the studios, the actors... you can leave reviews and status posts on EVERYTHING. No algorithms, no force feeding... just discovery, recommendations and honest reviews by this community about our community and the industry we feed.

Collections! Lists of stuff you're reading, dropped, want to read, want to buy, love or hate, all pretty and organised and shareable..

A growing database resource of titles, tagged up to its eyeballs with a minutiae of data.. with reading an streaming links and anything else we find that we think is relevant.

But it is also a lot more than this.

I wanted it to be more than what it was. I want to turn Juicy into a mobile app, add some more functionality and more specifically, platform all of BL for its non-Asian fandom.

We get left out of so much, I feel like we need our own thing.

I don’t know about ya’ll, but I was tired of being banned on social media for sharing content. How you gonna ban me for saying a 2D fictional character needs to be shot with shite and strung with cobweb? But they did… and I know it’s not just me.

What about the creators? How do they interface with the non-Japanese or non-Korean fandoms? On which misogynistic hell site?

What about the publishers and merchandisers? What about the little Etsy sellers? Why does BL have to hidden away in the databases of mangaupdates, anisearch and anilist? Why does every single manga tracker out there seem to have pitiful listings for BL?

Is it because we’re a female or queer audience?

Look at this lil video I made:

youtube

Either way, I’ve long felt it’s time for us to do our own thing. So I’ve been building it. Pixel by pixel. Feature by feature on my own.

Juicy has been a small chat group, but I’m the only developer. We’ve always been clear about what we wanted to build: A platform for the fandom, the creators, the publishers, the merchandisers… my goal is a one-stop platform for BL and I am damn close to presenting this new iteration.

This was and remains the core of what I’m building: The largest English platform for BL on the planet. The functionality is one thing, but building a database like that is not a one-person job.

So now I need your help.

First to keep the servers online, so I can continue to build and develop and finally, finally release the mobile app. I can't tell you how much I want that.

I’m close to pushing the new Juicy 3.0 out, and I’m very in love with the work I’ve done since December. It’s a new look, and it works 1000 times better than the previous iterations of Juicy.

I just have hit a wall financially, and need your help and support to get it over the line.

Juicy's ass is fat and I been carrying her mostly alone for two solid years.

I’m going to launch a Kickstarter for this project in a bit so I can hire another developer to help with the trickier bits and fine tune the mobile app, but for now, I felt a Patreon would at least help us keep the servers up and maybe, just maybe allow us to afford a few crucial bits that will elevate your experience as a user.

And because I’m a developer, and I can do some pretty kinky shit with APIs and such, if you support this Patreon campaign, you will get some nice feature perks on the platform automagically. You won’t have to pay again to access these perks in-app later.

As many perks as I can cook up anyway, not the least of which will be access to some of the nicer functions and features I’ve already built into the platform.

When the mobile app launches, you will get it first and for free! Plus we’ve been talking about a lot of other ways we can make the platform fun beyond what I've done already.

I plan to monetise the platform in various ways, but in a profit sharing model. You contribute to the database, you contribute content, you get a share of whatever the platform makes. This is already built into the system. This will be open to anyone willing, but to Patrons first.

Finally, I'm limiting the number of people who can subscribe via Patreon to 1000 people. Once we hit that number, the rolls will be closed to new membership, and everyone directed to the platform to pay for any services or merchandise.

My goal for this group of Patrons is that you become an exclusive and tightly knit inner circle.

My hope is that you will help me actively shape what Juicy will become. Your votes and say will carry weight. Your feature requests considered and if possible implemented first.

You will get access to exclusive merchandise, exclusive giveaways and promos (like free stuff), and exclusive programming from the team.

With your help we will produce an exclusive podcast for Patrons only discussing all things BL and Juicy (honestly our conversations are generally wild and hilarious... it will be a rollick for sure), along with other content for Patrons only. We've even planned watch parties and other fun shit... I swear, we want you all to be our greatest ambassadors so we are planning as many treats as we can.

Your access on the platform will be specific to your Patreon subscription and your treatment will be VIP for the life of your subscription.

Finally, the way my auADHD are set up, I have no interest in the dramas of the BL fandom, so this is never going to be about gatekeeping access to anything. It’s about making more access possible. You can help bring us all together and make us stronger as a group.

So do you think Digital Juicy sounds like something you’d like in on?

Okute Sea

Saezuru Murmurs

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