#things i need to get done: SHOWER. Soak clothes because washing machine has died a death.

[lemonlushff-iy]

History Lesson in how OLR came to be...

A year ago, @clearwillow, @dawnrider, and @keichanz had just finished what would be known as the spontaneous Vday “hot off” of 2020, and it was decided that white day was going to just be a repeat of what we had just done...only we wanted everyone to participate and it was going to be open to all, and you could do whatever you wanted. Tease us. Post completed pieces. What have you. 

Shortly after, I fell into a VERY bad depression. I’m not shy about it. I’m not shy about my feelings or saying I’m hurt. I think people should be able to say that, and have it not be taboo. So I’m open about it. I wasn’t well. I felt inadequate. Like what I wrote was terrible. Like people within the fandom ONLY liked me because I was there for them 24/7 hyping up their work and singing their praises. I was the fandom hype girl. It felt like none of my friendships were REAL. 

And I’d been ok with that. 

Until I wasn’t. 

And a year ago today...I decided that I wanted to work past those feelings. I’d been struggling with them for about two days at this point, and I’d been looking at Carra’s pixiv and was completely CAPTIVATED by her work. Specifically, New Moon Ride, which has since been colorized. I was nervous and so low...I’d removed myself almost entirely from discord and tumblr, but I really wanted to participate in White Day, and I had this...idea in my head about this girl returning home and having a fling with a cattle rancher. I wanted it to be like Sweet Home Alabama (which is an Easter Egg for those of you on Patreon, and something to look for for those who aren’t).

Needless to say...

My depression made me miss the mark on that...

But I very nervously went to Carra who was this FANDOM GOD and asked “Hey...Would it be ok if I did this?” Needless to say...She said yes, and in doing so...She gave me this AMAZING gift. 

It was supposed to be a one shot just for White Day. I’d INTENDED for it to be a PWOP. The depression got the best of me though, and that...Clearly didn’t happen. Instead I started pouring all of these feelings I had inside of me into this story instead...And it’s become one of the greatest gifts of my life. It’s my emotional support fic. It takes all the bad and painful away from me. And I WISH that what I’d been feeling a year ago was the end of it, but it was only the beginning of it...And One Last Ride has been there for me for all of it. 

Providing me with an outlet for all of the feelings I’ve had. It’s allowed me to deal with a LOT. Drama. Friendships that died and times when I was shut out. Feelings regarding my own late father. General depression. 

One Last Ride has become deeply meaningful and a piece of my SOUL.

So...Thank you Carra for this AMAZING gift you’ve given me. You never knew when you drew that photo what you were about to unleash...But...I’m OH so very glad you did...

And in the spirit of how I started One Last Ride a year ago...

I offer you ALL a piece of post canon smut. It’s just a ficlet because...I just FINALLY finished the FIRST ACTUAL smut in One Last Ride (nearly a year later) and wanted to save my bandwidth for MORE smut...Can ya blame me?

And now, a short fic...

“Inuyasha...she could hear…” Kagome weakly protested, trying to push her husband away from her. 

“She won’t notice,” he soothed, continuing to suckle at her pulse point. “She’s watching that thing with the talking animals.”

“That narrows it down,” she gasped, feeling his tongue burn a path up the column of her neck. 

“I turned on the tv and she pointed. I weren’t about to ask questions,” he growled, pushing his hips into the swell of her ass, allowing her to feel the hardness between his legs. “‘Sides. I’m still cold from building that damn igloo with her. I need my sexy wife to warm me up.”

Yes...but they had been so cute. She loved watching the two of them play together. And watching him bite the inside of his cheek to keep from swearing when it kept collapsing. She knew that even though it hadn’t worked, he was going to go back out there tonight and figure out how to build Moroha her igloo. Even if it took him until 3 am, he was going to surprise his princess with one in the morning, no matter what. 

And she loved that about him.

“Giving her a shower didn’t do the trick?”

“Please,” he snorted. “All it did was leave me soaked. And all I wanna do is make you wet,” he murmured, slipping a hand under her shirt and laying his palm against the soft, relatively flat skin of her stomach. 

“Yash…”

“She won’t hear,” he promised, his hands coming to cup her breasts over the lace of her bra. “Washer and dryer will be too loud and she will be too distracted…”

“But what about the cookies...”

“We still have ten minutes.”

“And when she tries to take them out of the oven on her own? She has a little too much of you in her, you know,” Kagome replied dryly as his fingers found the tip of her nipple. The pad of his thumb gently brushed against her sensitive skin, making her bite the inside of her cheek.

“Better make it eight then...”

“That sure of yourself,” she challenged, his gentle ministrations to her body was making it hard for her to continue to resist him. 

“I know you, woman…” he growled as he reached out to find the doorknob of the laundry room, and swiveled the lock into place. 

Good. 

No interrupting daughters. 

“I know what makes you wet,” he continued, pulling the lace cups of her bra down before lifting the wire frames up and away from her breasts to rest above them on her chest. He felt their weight in his palms, tweaking her nipples and making her head fall back onto his shoulder. 

“D-do you now,” she breathed as he found the lobe of her ear, pulling it between his fangs and suckling on it. 

“I think I do, Kags,” he smirked, one of his palms sliding down her rib cage and over the soft, silvery lines of her stomach to the band of her pants. He felt her freeze in his arms as his palms connected with those lines, and he kissed her that much harder.

She hated those lines. She’d done everything she could when she was pregnant to avoid them, but they came anyways, despite her efforts. She thought they made her ugly. 

He thought they made her sexier. 

“Stop it,” he reprimanded, kissing her jaw lovingly. He knew what that look meant. She was thinking about them again. How her body had changed since giving him the most precious gift in his life. He hated when she did that. “You’re beautiful. Fucking sexy as hell. I’ll tell you that every damn day ‘till I die. I wouldn't change a thing about you.”

“Yash,” she breathed, turning her head and allowing him to capture her lips in a sweet, loving kiss. He was so good with words...but his lips were even better at this. He had a way of reaffirming everything he said with his hands. His touch. His body. 

The only sounds that could be heard in the small space of their laundry room, were the sounds of the dryer turning and spinning the wet clothes inside, and their heavy breathing. The sounds of their lips moving wetly against one another as he showered her with affection. Showed her how much he loved her. Expressed his need for her and her body. 

Her hands slowly wound their way into his hair, finding his ears. She rubbed them between her finger tips, starting at the base and slowly working her way towards the fuzzy tips. He moaned against her lips and lifted her shirt, lowering his head to her soft breasts. His tongue found her nipples and she felt him swirl it around her sensitive flesh as his hands worked the band of her panties and leggings down her legs. 

“Yash,” she moaned, his name clawing its way out of her throat against her will. 

“Shhh...You need to keep it down, Darling,” he reprimanded, pulling away from her trembling form as he worked one of her feet out the bottom of the mess of clothing. “You don’t want her to hear.”

“I thought you said she wouldn’t be able to hear,” She replied, panic beginning to bloom in the pit of her stomach. Oh god...They hadn’t had any situations with Moroha yet, but she didn’t want to explain this to her daughter yet either. 

“She can’t,” he soothed, the velvety tone of his voice slowly calming her as he lifted her leg over his shoulder, kissing her thigh. “But you can’t start getting loud neither. No screaming, remember? Anyone would be able to hear that. Demon blood or not.”

Her cheeks turned bright red at the reminder of just how loud she could be, and then red from the feeling of his tongue slipping between her lips. He zeroed in on her clit, and her nails scraped against his scalp. Soft little moans of pleasure crawled out of the back of her throat. 

He used them as a guide as he slipped his fingers inside. Watched the trembling of her abdomen. The heaving of her breasts as she tried to steady her breathing. 

And then she was gnashing her bottom lip, her face twisting and eyes screwing shut as her orgasm swept through her body. He held her, let her ride his face as she came - let her pull his hair and whimper his name against the palm of her hand. 

When she’d finished, he pulled away from her and lowered his sweatpants and boxer briefs, allowing them to pool at his ankles as his hardness sprang free. 

Fuck, he was so hard. 

And she was so ready for him.

“Should have a few more minutes still,” he commented, turning her around against the washing machine. She lifted her leg, his hands coming to softly grip her delicate flesh in his palms and support her. 

“Should?”

“I’ll hear when the timer goes off, don’t worry,” he soothed, lining the head of his cock up with her entrance. He slowly sank inside, his head falling to her shoulder, and kissed her neck. “God Kags…”

“Mmm…” she agreed, her head rolling back onto his shoulder as his fangs scraped against her pulse point. 

He slowly thrust into her, his hips gaining in speed and setting a vigorous pace as he took her from behind. He sought out all the places he knew she loved, and his fingers brushed through the patch of curls at the apex of her thighs to locate her clit. The tips of his fingers swirled around it as he continued to work her from behind until the coil that had been tightening in her snapped. 

The hand that had been holding her hip, guiding hers into his, released it to slap over her lips as he nervously glanced at the door. 

“Shhh...Kags…” he grunted, his eyes screwing shut. He couldn’t take much more…

He was almost there…

“Cum for me, Yash,” she begged, lowering his hand so her words wouldn't be muffled. 

“Kags…”

What was all he needed. He tumbled, over the edge of the abyss, allowing his orgasm to sweep through him as he spilled himself inside her. 

“Yash,” she soothed, feeling his body go limp against hers. “What got into you today,” she throatily chuckled, and he rubbed his forehead against her shoulder blade. 

“Nothing,” he sighed, burying his face into her neck and inhaling deeply as his cock slipped out from between her folds. 

“Liar,” she teased, watching as he dropped to his knees to use his tongue and mouth to clean up the mess he’d made in her. “You normally keep it in your pants until she’s sleeping.”

Catching him red handed, was she?

He couldn’t lie. It wouldn’t get him anywhere. 

“I want another one, Kags.”

“Another one?” she pressed, her brow furrowing in confusion, and he nervously nodded his head. 

“Another baby. She’s getting older...And this house is too big for just the three of us...and I miss it. Having a baby around. And she wants a sibling too. All her friends have one. And I...I...I dunno...I just...Do.”

His words were so sweet. So soft and tender. 

“Yash…”

“Don’t say no just yet,” he pleaded, pulling his sweatpants up as he stood. “Promise me you’ll think about it...And...And please don’t be mad...It’s been on ma mind a while, but you ain’t even ovulating now. But thinking about another one and how much fun we had trying ta get Mo...Well…”

So that was why. It all made sense now. 

“I promise I’ll think about it Yash,” she grinned, pulling her leggings back up her legs and adjusting herself within the cups of her bra as the timer went off in the kitchen. 

“Mommy? Daddy?”

“That’s our cue,” he sighed, relief washing over him as he pulled away from her and slipped out of the laundry room. 

She’d think about it. It weren’t a yes...but he didn’t need one right now. That could come later. 

Right now, he just wanted her to think about the possibility of adding another one to their happily ever after. 

And it was a pretty damn sweet happily ever after, if he did say so himself.

[academicgangster]

.

[elastigirl72]

Day 20: Herceg Novi>south of Shkoder, Albania

Mountains or coast?

Sometimes and without planning, things just seem to fall into line. I reconnected with my younger brother, Alex, 19 months younger than I, and #4 of 4 siblings born within 5 years to two crazy, outlandish parents. That reconnection in itself is a long story and I won’t go into now. But i regularly work in Norway and by chance, in Alex’s home town where he lives with his wife, Monika and two girls, Emma and Susi. Life and families are complicated but, stars aligned and 25 years or more have passed, and the next time I’m there. I’ll stay and be Auntie Michelle to nieces I love.

Also by chance, the last time I visited, I mentioned to Alex about my planned trip, and where I was heading. He looked at the route and said “I have a friend who has an apartment there. Let me call him”. So he did. It just so happened that Per was happy for me to stop by if it worked in with my plans, even if he wasn’t there. As if by magic, I came through, and it coincided with a rest day. I was met by Lidija, who having checked with me a few days earlier, met me with freshly caught fish, and a potato salad, a bottle of wine of choice (red or white. Or both!), bananas, strawberries picked from her friend’s garden that morning, and a barrel full of conversation. After 3 cups of tea, she left me to indulge in the shower, with shampoo, hair conditioner, body cream, moisturiser, radiators, chocolates a washing machine and a view if it became visible across the whole of Herceg Novi. I have never met Per, and only just met Lidija, who I believed lived in the same road, but in fact had caught a taxi from a nearby village, just to make me feel welcome. I am now so fed and rested, if I don’t do a big week, I’ll go home heavier than when I set off!

This was the shelter in a storm, quite literally. And couldn’t have happened at a better time, at any point during the 3.5 week expedition. How do you show gratitude for such generosity? If I wasn’t already in heaven, to top it off, Lidija returned the next day with home made lunch, and took me on a walking tour of her home town. An amazing woman who is a Tony Robins coach. I am apparently a sun person, and she a moon. I need 20 minutes of sun a day and she needs to sleep. She knew everyone in the town as we walked around. I fell in love with Herceg very quickly.

As the storm passed over during the early hours of the day, I noticed a figure on a rock outcrop, and was sure the silhouetted figure was fishing. Walking along the promenade, I learnt the figure was a statue of a haunting and beautiful woman, a memorial to a lady who was betrothed to a sailor, who went to sea and never returned. For the rest of her days, the lady returned to wait for her love to sail back to shore, and did so until she died. Truly moving and befitting of such a small sanctuary in deepest Europe where most people won’t visit or have heard of.

Every trip I’ve done, I’ve come across incredible, memorable people who have stayed with me since. Mario (Italy 2015), Jonathan and Pete (Canada 2016 and 2018). Sadly, from my first ever trip, in 1991, I met equally kind people who are written in a diary, but long since past. It’s these moments that erase the challenge days and sow a seed deep inside. I hope that I can in turn be so generous and kind.

6th May is a big day, and start to the biggest week, both mileage and climbing but also uncharted waters. I’m a little anxious but at least slightly recovered...if something is going to go wrong, it will be in this next week. So near, yet so far...mountains or coast? Start days early and ride as far as possible?

6 May: Shkoder 1430

After the mountains lit up in a fury of lightening bolts and torrential rain, I felt confident that setting my alarm for 5am was a good decision. Early miles were the plan, and at 7am, although there were still torrents running across the roads, the bay was calm, and I was on my way.

One day’s full rest was telling from the first rotation. I felt great! I was prepared for the intermittent downpours with my new bin bag and trusted shower caps, and knew, come hell or high water, I was crossing into what in my head felt like another continent today but was in fact, just another country, and my 10th on the list: Albania.

You can get to Albania by bike several ways from Montenegro: outright ferry, around a huge bay and up Kotor or a €1 ferry crossing, which takes 10 minutes and provides a panoramic view of the black mountains. I opted for the latter, and sailed my way through towns and up climbs, barely noticing the gentle early headwind, almost a pre-requisite to a ride now. The traffic was less, although I did see an elderly pedestrian spontaneously leap in front of a speeding knackered old VW Mark I Golf...how he wasn’t killed! If it wasn’t suicidal pedestrians, it was motorists pulling out of side roads or shop fronts, almost teasingly to see what a cyclist with right of way might actually do: stop or ride straight into the now stationery vehicle blocking the carriageway because in fact they can’t pull out on to the opposite carriageway anyway. I counted at least 20 stray dogs between Herceg and the border, and now have come to expect them at every turn in the road. I will need to plan my defence strategy as I believe at some point, a dog and I are going to get better acquainted, probably as I find my steepest climb, am tired and can’t escape 😃. I am considering tying a stick to my bike and working out my war cry as I write.

Maybe it’s because I am recharged or maybe it is because even with impending doom looking down on me from the heavens, the green clad mountains that now surrounded me made for yes I know I’ve said it before, an epic day’s cycling. The bin bag and shower cap yo-yo’d in and out of my bag, gaining me much attention in the rural Montenegro countryside as I rode through as the joker on wheels. Here, the people, buildings and cars all changed, decrepit, off the beaten track, and oblivious to style, just functional living: the need for a car, a roof and clothing rang through and any signs of wealth disappeared as I approached the Albanian border. Soaked, I noted that I’d never seen such dark and threatening sky over any mountains. I wondered if the swallows that darted around the road indicated anything, but it was memorable and beautiful.

I’d already fallen in love with the day before I reached Albania, and despite twanging my bad knee before the climb between countries, was prepared to ride on as long as I felt as I did. 😀

And suddenly, surprisingly, Albania! (And another passport stamp 🎊)

Where the tarmac is smooth, the ageing locals ride bikes, the area feels untouched by time or tourism, and the surrounding countryside is jaw-droppingly Jurassic. In 10km I rode past two mosques, minute and not what I expected. Every last morsel of flesh was covered so being a heavily Muslim country, I felt I was being respectful. Motorists gave way, and many people, young and old, even waved, or honked positively. I even got a “go, go, go” from one driver! I wanted to stop and take so many photos, but the ever threatening sky bore down on me and reminded me to keep pedalling.

I barely noticed the city of Shkoder; I was through it so quickly. The driving here made me laugh, as it was chaotic. My lasting memory will be of a very large old lady in her local dress, headscarf and woollen tights, pinned with her bottom just on the edge of the scooter seat, driven by her husband, bouncing off down the road in front of me. I wish I’d got a photo of that, or the old guys on scooters, smartly dressed, but weathered and worn.

Not long after leaving the city limits, I saw lightening ahead and a distant rumble of thunder. It was only 16 miles till my planned stop, and another 56 to Tirana, my stretch goal. I was feeling great. But checking these details and considering my options, I’d stopped right outside a brand new looking spa hotel. I went inside, enquired, and found the room, full spa access, and breakfast would cost €35. I repeat €35! And the possibility of booking a massage. Even with this information, I had to sit down, digest and consider my options: the weather radar, my knee, how good I was feeling...

The weather is looking better from tomorrow, so why push on? I am lying down in my €35 room, snuggled in a huge dressing gown having had a luxury shower and awaiting my massage. I am hoping very much my knee twang isn’t terminal but it doesn’t feel good. But if my journey ends here, I am truly happy. I love Albania, even if I’ve not spent a night here yet. I couldn’t feel more welcome. I hope you can make it too someday...till tomorrow...and decision time; mountains or coast? 🤔

[thelioncourts]

Pairing: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki

Author: marrieddorks

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 2486

Summary: Jared is the best friend Chad could ever ask for (until the pesky problem named Jensen comes along).

Part 1 of Stepbrothers ‘Verse [AO3]

///

“Do you think he’ll notice?”

The question was asked while standing in the middle of an unbusy suburban street in Georgetown, staring at the tilted and overflowing garbage can sitting precariously on the edge of the curb.

“Oh yeah, he’ll notice.”

“Shit!” Chad started. “Shit, shit, shit, shit, Jared! He’s going to kill me!” As if on cue, it was then that the garbage can decided to topple over, and Chad and Jared watched with differing types of horror as its remains spilled all over the grass and street alike, its crash echoing too loudly in the slow-moving neighborhood. Jared threw an awkward wave to Mr. Carrow, a bespectacled old man three houses down who was outside watering his lawn, his look disapproving and sealed with a sneer.

“How do you even make that much trash by yourself?” Jared asked, turning back to Chad with a sort of awe in his voice that paid no mind to Chad’s current crisis. “You can’t cook, you don’t clean,” his voice trailed. “If there’s a mountain of tissues in that, Chad, I swear to God –”

“Not the time, Jared!” Chad was already on the ground shoveling as much of the fallen trash back into the can as he could, a hysteria in his eyes. “What if we took some of this to your house? We can go get more garbage bags and fill them and then –”

“Sure, Chad, my mom would love that,” Jared rolled his eyes.

“I can’t die yet, Jared! Think of all the things I haven’t done!” Chad yelled, his voice cracking on Jared’s name. “We just graduated high school! Life hasn’t even begun yet! I never got to go to Vegas. I never got to ride in a Ferrari. I never got to bang Kate Upton. I never even got to buy my own beer!” His fingers were digging into Jared’s forearm and it took a good grip to extract them, their mark a stark pink on Jared’s tan skin.

“Dude,” Jared said. “You need to calm down. This is not the end of the world, this is you forgetting to take out the trash. Again. Do you really think your dad is going to be surprised?”

“No, and that’s the problem!” A swift kick landed on the black plastic, sending what little garbage Chad had managed to stuff back into the can onto the ground once more. “When my dad left, he gave me two things that I had to do: I had to take the trash out and I had to not break anything in the house.”

“.... What did you break, Chad?”

“Nothing that important,” Chad muttered quickly. He clumsily dropped to sit on the curb, his back slumped, his posture defeated. “I can kiss the rest of summer goodbye. The house is destroyed, and my dad is going to be so pissed.”

“Chad,” Jared sighed. “If I help you clean up your house, will you stop bitching like the biggest bitch ever?”

“I will totally stop bitching!” Chad exclaimed, demeanor entirely changed in a split-second. “I’ll never bitch again! You won’t ever hear a bitching word out of my mouth for as long as I live.” He was doing a mock Boy Scout-salute, three fingers in the air, but with his other hand over his heart too, and Jared clapped him on the shoulder after pulling him to his feet.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“In me have faith, my young Padawanalecki,” Chad said, walking backwards so he could make swirly hand motions.

“Chad, you couldn’t even keep two promises to your dad for three weeks, what makes you think you’ll be able to never bitch again? Besides, you’re actually the worst bitcher ever. You bitch all the time.”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“Do n—whoa!” Chad shrieked in a horribly high-pitched sound that he would so deny for the rest of his life, and that left Jared in stitches with laughter.

“Oh, there’s a plant right there, Chad,” Jared grinned, looking down at Chad’s sprawled figure now covered in soil.

“Yeah, thanks for the heads-up, dickweed.”

“Are you really going to say that to me after I offered to help you clean your house? That’s messed up, dude.”

“Jared! My dad will kill me, please,” Chad bitched, and Jared laughed and helped him back to his feet, again, before walking in the house, Chad mumbling and dusting his clothes off best he could before entering.

Jared’s laughter died off, however, into a horrified silence that had Chad stopping in his tracks in the same abrupt manner, nearly running into Jared’s back in the process.

“Dude, you okay?”

“Um, Chad?” Jared asked back instead of answering, his eyebrows drawn together.

“Yeah?”

“We’re going to need backup.”

The living room alone was what appeared to be the result of a tornado, most definitely; the blinds in the windows were twisted and turned, the original shape unrecognizable, and the curtains that were intended to go in front of the blinds were woven all through the twists and turns. That is, the curtains that were still hanging and not ripped and lying on the floor below were woven all through the twists and turns. There was a grease stain on the carpet by the coffee table from where a pizza box had been, and at least thirty different DVD and video game cases were littering the floor in front of the television. A dozen pairs of dirty socks were strewn across the couch, along with at least two pairs of boxers (and Jared didn’t even want to know what events ended with them staying there) and the one lone pillow had what looked like a Mountain Dew coloration on its entire left side.

“I don’t even want to see the kitchen. Or the bathroom. Or your room. Especially your room,” Jared said slowly.

“Is it really that bad?”

“Do you have eyes, Chad?”

“Fuck! I know, I know. Um. Okay, we can’t call Tommy for backup, because I slept with his girlfriend a few months ago and he’s still pissed. We can’t call Mike, because he and Tommy are up each other’s asses all the time. We can’t call Sophia, because she was Tommy’s girlfriend that I slept with, ruining that relationship. We can’t –”

“Chad, if we go through the entire list of people we can’t call because you screwed them over in one way or another, we’ll be here all night. Give me five minutes,” Jared told him, his cellphone already in hand.

“Who’s going to come here to help you? I’m serious about not calling Tommy, he tried to kick my ass last time I ran into him.”

Several minutes later, there was a knock on the front door and in came Megan with two of her friends in tow, their fifteen-year-old faces pulled into the most triumphant of smirks.

“We came prepared,” Megan said with a grin, jiggling the tote of cleaning supplies in her hand. “I’ll take the kitchen, Kelly and Marissa agreed to clean the living room, and you two can do the bedroom and bathroom because no way are we touching either of those. Deal?”

“It’s a deal, Meg, just do your thing,” Jared told her with a sigh and an eye-roll that only became more dramatic when she walked by him with too much bounce in her step, Kelly and Marissa at her heels.

“How’d you get them to come over here?” Chad stage-whispered.

“I agreed to take them to the mall this week and also agreed to do Meg’s summer reading homework,” Jared muttered defeatedly. “You so owe me. Actually, this is beyond just being owed.”

“You’re a true hero, Jay.”

After forty-five minutes of deep cleaning (accompanied by Jared’s Pearl Jam playlist because there was no way Chad was going to get to play his own music, too), things were already resembling a semi-stable household once more. Kelly and Marissa had successful untangled and untwisted the blinds and replaced the torn curtains with brand new ones they found in the hallway closet on the top shelf. Megan had the dishwasher loaded with a load of horribly greasy and sticky plates, cups, and bowls, and was soaking the plate from the microwave and a cup which had had a questionable substance inside. Jared had taken over laundry duty, plugging his nose and wearing a pair of gloves while transporting clothes from Chad’s bedroom floor and bathroom to the washing machine and trying to get all the darks and colors done first so he could bleach anything and everything white last. Chad himself had managed to clean the toilet without too much gagging involved and was in the process of scrubbing the shower floor when Megan came in, yellow rubber gloves covered in suds all the way up to her elbows.

“Hey, do you know if you have any more dish soap for your kitchen?”

“Dish soap?” Chad asked, eyebrows by his hairline. “Is there any under the sink?”

“You would think there would be, but no,” Megan said. “I can run home and grab a bottle real quick.”

“Hold on, hold on. Let me look.” Chad groaned when he pushed himself back up, making his way to the kitchen on legs shaking like he had just ran a marathon.

“Thanks again, Meg,” Jared said as soon as Chad was out of earshot. “Chad’s a mess. And his dad is supposed to be home later tonight.”

“Where’s he been anyway?” she asked, pulling the rubber gloves off for a moment to let her hands breathe.

“He’s been off on some cruise. Bunch of hot-shot lawyers went, I think for some networking event or something.”

“Who has a networking event on a cruise ship?”

“Rich lawyers who can afford it.”

“And he just left Chad. Here. By himself,” Megan said slowly.

“Well, Chad is legally an adult, despite what we all think. And it probably wouldn’t have been so bad if I wouldn’t have been gone all this week looking at Duke University ‘one more time. Just to be sure I made the right decision,’” Jared said, making air quotes as he imitated their father horribly.

“Found some!” Chad yelled, rushing into the room suddenly, a bottle of blue soap in hand. “It was in the garage.”

“Why was your dish soap in the garage?”

“I don’t know, do you think I’ve ever bought a bottle of dish soap in my life? C’mon, Jay.”

“Point taken.”

“Alright, awesome then. I’m going to finish the dishes and wipe down the counters and make sure the microwave and oven are clean. I’ll mop the floor last.”

“Chad is going to finish up his bathroom,” Jared began, ignoring a dirty look thrown from Chad, “and I’ve got laundry going and should at least have it all in the washer before Mr. Murray gets here. When should he be home?”

“He said his flight was landing at five, and it’s a forty-minute drive from the airport to here, so I would say six o’clock.”

“That gives us an hour,” Megan said, her grip on the mop handle becoming white-knuckled.

“We can do plenty in one hour.”

And the second hour of deep cleaning commenced; Chad scrubbed at his bathroom floors with the sort of vigor only found in a desperate man, and too much laughing occurred when he ran into the kitchen to scour for more supplies, only to fall on the mop-wet linoleum. But an hour passes by quickly when hard at work, and before they knew it, their hour was up.

“Okay, he’s going to be here any minute,” Chad started. “I’m sweaty and gross, so I’m going to change clothes. You know my dad, always about that Murray-men sensibility.”

“Well if he’s all about your sensibility, you need to put on deodorant.”

Chad took a whiff under his arms, and pulled back, nose pinched. “Yeah, that too.”

“You, uhh, you might want to hurry,” Megan half-shouted to them both, her figure illuminated by the close proximity of headlights from the road. “He’s pulling in right now.”

“Shit!” Chad started again, the same tone from before leaking through. “Shit, shit, shit, shit, Jared!”

“Calm down!” Jared said, and his hands were on Chad, shoving him back toward his bedroom. “Go change your rank clothes and get back out here. Megan and her friends will go out the back.”

“We’re already leaving. Don’t forget our deal though, big brother! I’m asking Mom if I can double my chores this week to double my allowance,” Megan sing-songed as she, Marissa, and Kelly snuck out the back door in the kitchen.

“She’s going to spend all of her money on art supplies, just watch. She thinks she’s Picasso,” Jared said loudly to Chad.

“I’m more like Cezanne, thank you very much.”

“Who?” Chad whispered.

“Go! Both of you!” Jared said instead of answering, panic rising as they heard the doorknob rattle with movement. Both Chad and Megan disappeared just in time for Richard Murray to walk in the front door, a clean and stereotypical black suitcase in hand.

“Mr. Murray!” Jared greeted, his smile too wide and his stance awkward as he tried to figure out a natural way to position his body where he stood.

“Jared,” Richard started off slowly, “Jared, it’s good to see you. You keep my son out of trouble while I was gone?”

“Yes, sir. Most definitely. Chad’s changing clothes. We played some basketball down at Rowan Park today. It’s a hot one out there today. Probably not as hot as your cruise was though,” Jared rambled.

“I’ll tell you, I didn’t notice the heat all that much,” Richard said, and Jared was a little concerned at the drowsy smile on the man’s face.

“Too busy with all the networking to notice?”

“Dad!” Chad yelled out, skidding down the hallway in fresh white socks, Risky Business-style, but thankfully with pants, and Jared and Richard both waited until Chad steadied himself, hands on the newly-moved chair in the living room. “You’re home! You got a tan.”

“Chad,” Richard started, and Chad immediately flared up at the tone.

“Dad, I know what you’re going to say, but –”

“Chad –”

“All the trash is out at the curb –”

“Chad –”

“And the dishes are done! All the dishes, totally done –”

“Chad –”

“And laundry! I even separated my darks from my lights –”

“Chad –”

“Yeah, okay, Jared told me that’s how I had to do laundry, but I did it! And –”

“Chad!” Richard finally screamed, shutting Chad up (a rare occurrence for everyone). But the scream wasn’t angry, and that same drowsy smile was still on his face and Jared and Chad shared a look.

“Uh, Dad, are you okay? Did all the sun get to your head?” Chad asked.

“No, that’s not it,” Richard said, moving forward to put both of his hands on Chad’s shoulders. “I got married, son.”

[meanwhileinoz]

20+ Easy Ways To Clean Your House That Takes Little To No Effort

Cleaning your house always seems like a neverending task. No matter what, you feel as though it’s going to take up more time than you bargained for. Plus, it seems as though whenever you clean, it just gets dirty in .5 seconds anyway. So, all in all, what’s the point? Instead of getting on your hands and knees to scrub for hours on end, there are some brilliant hacks online that make cleaning your house easier than ever.

1. Sweeper slippers, so you can sweep your home whenever you walk to the freezer to get yourself more ice cream.

BuzzFeed

BuzzFeed

If you have hardwood or tile floors, you have gotta have at least five pairs of these houseshoes. I just toss them into the wash without tearing off the sole to wash separately. Reason: the soles on mine by far outlast the tops of the shoes. They help control dust and animal hair. I like them. // Edited after thought: Pairs of these shoes were handed to out-of-state traveler friends (a fella and his two grown daughters). They sounded so thankful to have these microfiber houseshoes to wear, and they expressed at how cushy they felt.

–Penny

Get them on Amazon for $10.40.

2. If you have pets that shed (or if you shed) you need this easy-to-pick-up-hair broom for your carpets. It traps all the hair, all the time.

Amazon

This broom is awesome! I have two large breed dogs (that she’d like crazy) and hard wood floors that have to be swept daily. I don’t know how well it would work on carpets, but it does an excellent job sweeping fur, hair, and dirt up. The best part… You don’t have to clean the bristles like a regular broom. I just rinsed the broom when I was done and the little dirt that was on the bristles washed away! I hate having to pull dust balls and hair out of normal broom bristles.

Just note: The rubber bristles are not fine enough to clean under moldings (the small gap between the molding and the floor) for those areas, I still use a vacuum. I’m not sure why this broom has negative reviews.. I read a bunch of them and can not relate to any of the issues people complained about. I’m chalking them up to user error. As John Lydgate said “you can’t please all of the people all of the time”.

Get it on Amazon for $18.50.

3. If you tie two microfiber rags around a pair of tongs, you can clean those moldy refrigerator shelves that have been smelling like rotten chicken and spilled cold brew.

onecrazyhouse.com

onecrazyhouse.com

This brilliant idea comes from One Crazy House. You can use any tongs you have in the house, and can easily buy microfiber cloths on Amazon for only $9.99.

4. If you have a ceiling fan, quit tossing dust around your room and use an old pillowcase to clean it.

homemakerchic.com

This idea comes from Homemaker Chic. Not only is it way easier than using a duster, but the dust falls right into the pillowcase so you’re not sneezing your brains out.

5. Use this spot cleaner to get even the toughest stains out of your carpets without scrubbing like a madman. Just blot it right on.

Amazon

I had terrible rust and oil stains all over the seats of my car when I bought it. I tried other cleaners to get it out, but they actually made the stains darker. I took it to the dealership to see if they could get it out and they flat out told me no, so I gave up and lived with it for almost 5 years. I tried this after it was recommended by a friend. I sprayed it on and literally watched the stain run right off my seat. It was amazing! I thought I was going to have to pay hundreds of dollars to replace the seats in my car because nothing else would work. This stuff really is awesome!

Get a bottle of this easy-to-use cleaner on Amazon for only $10.50.

6. Put vinegar in a zip-lock bag and place it over your showerhead for 1-2 hours to get all that rusty, dusty mold-ish stuff off.

BuzzFeed

7. Get into the cracks of your tiles or bathroom floor/shower with an automatic scrubbing brush, which takes the time and effort out of cleaning.

Amazon

Ok, I feel stupid writing this, but I hope it encourages you to buy this…. I just spent 2 hours scrubbing the ceramic tile floor in my 2nd bathroom. This is a room where my elderly, incontinent cat lives so… use your imagination. I leave pee pads and towels down, but she still does her thing. I clean her room consistently, and every few months I do a heavy duty scrubbing by soaking the floor and grout in Nature’s Miracle and start scrubbing. It takes hours because I can’t get the corners well, and the grout is such a pain to clean.

Well, this product is amazing. I used this for the grout lines, and I used the corner attachment for… corners. It was amazing. It got gunk and grime off the grout that has been there for years (I haven’t resealed this floor since it will have to be taken out when the cat dies). I even used these to scrub the cabinet doors, around the toilet, etc. and they were really, really great. you have to put the right amount of pressure on the brush, but once you do- it’s *wonderful.* See how stupid I feel, writing such a glowing review for this? I swear I wasn’t endorsed, I wish they would pay me to test products after this! Between my Rubbermaid Reveal power Scrubber and Nature’s Miracle my bathroom is cleaner than it has been in years, and in less time than it’s ever taken me to deep clean it.

Get it on Amazon for only $13.54.

8. Use your dishwashing wand for floors by putting vinegar in it to scrub your tiles/stone shower.

smartschoolhouse.com

You can also use it for the glass doors to get them perfectly clean, according to  Smart School House. You can grab one of these on Amazon for only $9.38.

9. For those nasty, disgusting toilet rings, use a pumice stone to get the colors and stains out way easier and quicker (because who wants to spend time scrubbing a toilet, anyway?)

Amazon

 The house I recently moved into had a hard water line in the toilet and it was no big deal for the first couple of months. I never really paid much attention to it. That is, until my mom said she would be coming over for a visit. Suddenly, the hard water line in the toilet was glaring at me, making me feel like a disgusting human being living in filth. I had to get rid of it. A kitchen sponge and a dish cloth were both ruined in my attempts. Finally, after countless hours of research and many sleepless nights, I had my answer: The Pumie. As soon as it arrived I was on my hands and knees scrubbin’ that bowl. After it was done I was stood over my toilet with the same posture as a successful climber reaching the summit of Mt. Everest. I had defeated the hard water line with The Pumie. The satisfaction I had by accomplishing this otherwise mundane task made me realize I had truly entered adulthood. But, I did not stop there. Hard water marks around the bathroom sink drain? Gone. Hard water lines around the kitchen faucet? GTFO. The Pumie is truly a marvel to behold and I will be eternally grateful for it’s help in vanquishing the hard water lines that would have made my mother disown me.

Get it on Amazon for $9.15.

10. After you clean your toilet rings, use these incredible toilet refreshers that help to prevent the ring from ever coming back again.

Amazon

These are the best in-bowl cleaners that I have found after trying many others. They keep the toilet bowl fresh especially on the toilets that are less frequently used in my house. I have found them to last a month or more. My father, a plumber, warned me years ago never to use those cleaners which you drop in the tank because the strong chemicals will eventually corrode the plumbing fixtures. Yes, I took his advice after some unwanted repairs.

Grab them on Amazon for only $1.98. 

11. If you have a stainless steel fridge, Pledge will not only clean it but also polish it at the same damn time.

thediygirl.com 

The DIY Girl, just spray the Pledge right onto the fridge and buff it off with a dry cloth. Grab a bottle of pledge on Amazon for only $4.19. 

12. Clean your stove top in only 5 minutes by using some dish soap (like dawn) and hydrogen peroxide. Use a dish soap brush to scrub it off.

mythirtyspot.com  

Hack from My Thirty Spot.

13. Clean any white sink easily and have it sparkling again by using baking soda and hydrogen peroxide.

lemonslavenderandlaundry.com 

Hack from Lemons, Lavender, and Laundry.

14. Clean every inch of your keyboards by using this double sided brush.

Amazon 

My laptop hasn’t been so clean since I bought it! Much better than compressed air cleaning. Using the rubbery end, you can even clean off the finger-tracker; and using the little brush, you get out all those annoying little crumbs and pieces of stuff that both impede your keyboard performance and make it look dirty. I wish I would have taken before and after pictures—the difference is astonishing! I was skeptical, but this little tool is worth the price.

Get it on Amazon for $4.95.

15. Use a lint roller on any lampshades that have a bunch of built-up hair and dust on them.

creeklinehouse.com 

Hack from Creekline House.

16. Also, use a lint roller on any screens to capture all that pollen and dust.

handymanmagazine.co.nz 

Hack from Handyman Magazine.

17. Mix baking powder and a flowery-smelling essential oil to spread all over your mattress. The scent will get soaked into it, and when you’re done, just vacuum it right up.

onegoodthingbyjillee.com 

Hack from One Good Thing by Jillee.

18. Put your pillows in the washing machine while you let the baking soda sit in your bed so they smell brand new.

thehappierhomemaker.com

Hack from the Happier Homemaker.

19. Get rust stains out of your dishwasher by running a cycle of Kool-Aid.

wikihow.com 

Hack from Wikihow.

20. Get weird scents out of your washing machine (like that horrible wet-dog smell) by running on an empty cycle with vinegar.

iheartnaptime.net 

Hack from I Heart Naptime.

21. Clean your vacuum filters in the dishwasher to save time and get a better clean.

agirlandherneedle.blogspot.com 

Hack from A Girl and Her Needle.

22. Also, clean your vent covers, filters, and anything else that’s easily removable in the dishwasher so you can let it run and do something better with your time while it’s cleaning.

onecrazyhouse.com

Hack from One Crazy House.

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