#things being bad where i live means drawing the twins to cope!

[basofy]

together

[thistleandthorn-rpg]

Name: Stacey Evans Designation: submissive Age: 23 Birthdate: August 15, 2000 Faceclaim: Sabrina Carpenter Orientation: Pansexual Kinks: bratting, bondage, roleplay, orgies, threesomes, anal, breath play, exhibition Anti-Kinks: Scat, ageplay, petplay

Key Points:

 - Princess attitude   - Family oriented; loves her brothers dearly and is very loyal   - Loves to be the center of attention, whether good or bad.    - Hopeless romantic   - Loves to make videos and animated cartoons - the only time she prefers to be behind the scenes. 

BIO 

Stacey Evans is the epitome of "princess." Living her entire adolescence with a mess of older brothers (plus two twins) set things in motion very early. She had always been well loved and well protected by hardworking parents and older brothers who would do absolutely anything for her. This quickly led to her little princess lifestyle. Her family worked hard to always keep a roof over their head, even when times got really hard for the family. Being one of the youngest, Stacey wasn't one of the siblings who had to or could get a job to help keep things afloat, so she was left to reap the spoils of their hard work. It did, unfortunately, leave her to her own devices on occasion and she spent most of her time doodling and sketching. When she learned she could make these sketches come to life, she became obsessed with making her little cartoons. 

The car accident effected all of them, and Stacey would not be exempt from this. Losing Scotty broke her heart in ways she could never imagine, and watching how it affected Sky made her never want to leave his side. Her cartoons went dark for a while, and she quickly discovered a very dark sense of humor as a way to cope with her heartbreak and pain. She held a little tighter to her remaining brothers, desperate to never feel that pain again. 

As she grew up, Dallas left for school, and a few years later the older boys went their separate ways. Stacey dove head first into her cartoons and drawings, eventually finding a full scholarship to art school. She was all alone at that school, her family spread to the winds at that point, but she was finding her own ways to bring in attention. Her cartoons and videos got a lot of attention, for the dark satire that ended up being more thought provoking than she had planned. People began paying attention and begging her for more, the excitement filling her with attention and seratonin on the regular, and she couldn't get enough. She started finding new ways to grab the attention of others, often finding herself in the middle of groups of students friends, even a teacher or two. She basked in it and found herself always wanting more. 

When word had gotten to her that most of her favorite people ended up in Lima, she knew it was time to get the rest of her life under control. She made her way to Stonewall Prep, was marked submissive, and was ready to move on with the rest of her life. 

BIO QUESTIONS:

What are your feelings about the mark you have received?    - It's fine. I mean, I wasn't overly hoping for a mark in any direction. I'm kind of used to people taking care of me, so it probably tracks, honestly. 

How do your feelings on the system compare to your parents’ feelings on it?   - They support it - i think? I mean, at least mostly. They don't really fight against it or anything at least. But it also wasn't really a big deal in my house either. It just kinda...was? At any rate, I see it the same way. it's important, sure, and I get that, but I don't think I'm ever going to be that obedient submissive. 

Where do you see yourself after you graduate?     - At a big time animation firm somewhere. Or maybe working from home, making cartoons and videos and watching how much everyone loves them. 

How do you feel about authority?   - Meh. I mean, I get that people have authority. I wish it was more earned than it seems to be. But, I guess life doesn't really care what I have to say. 

[portalford]

I Can Picture You So Easily

AO3

It hits Stan at the stupidest times.

Well.  That makes it sounds like Stan just forgets, when really it never quite goes away — sometimes it’s just more.

Like now.

He’s looking in the mirror — he found it tucked way, way back in a closet (and he’s gonna skip right over that because when he got here the mirror in the bathroom was broken, cracked until you couldn’t see a thing and why was Ford—nope) — and he’s trying out a new look for Mr. Mystery.

Gotta keep it fresh, right?  Accessorize?

Glasses aren’t accessories, unfortunately.  He can’t go without them anymore.

(Really, he needed them years ago, but he was too stubborn to admit it, or too broke, or whatever, but he’s literally tripping over his own feet now.  Needs must).

Ford wouldn’t be caught dead in this getup.  No sense of fashion.  So that’s fine.

The glasses—

(Ford started wearing glasses when he was six.  Stan had laughed himself silly when they went to the drugstore and tried on the biggest, most obnoxious frames they could find.  Ma had scolded, but she’d been too distracted checking price tags to do more than scold.

In the end, they went with some cheap horn-rimmed frames that Stan wouldn’t be caught dead in even now.  Old-man glasses, at six.  But that was Ford all over).

—they bring some stuff up.  The twin thing sucks, sometimes.  

(Looking in a mirror and seeing the changes, the lines in his face, the grey in his hair — does Ford have crow’s feet now?  Is his hair going silver?  It was always unmanageable — is it thinning like Stan’s is now, or is it still thick and flyaway, like it was when Ford was sixteen?  Did he even live long enough to get lines in his face and aches in his joints, or is he forever twenty-eight, dead somewhere in the universe?)

Time to stop thinking.

Notice the differences.

Stan’s ears and nose are bigger than Ford’s, always have been.  He’s heavier and his shoulders are broader.

(Has Ford gotten bulkier, fighting to survive?  Or is still he halfway to gaunt, like the last time Stan saw him?)

Definitely time to stop thinking.

Stan flashes a smile, and yeah, that’s all him.  Cheerful, magnetic, and a hundred percent fake.

Time to work the crowds.

*****

There’s an ad for the nice ink pens Ford saved up to buy when he was fourteen.

Stan turns it off.

*****

Mabel finds a picture, once.

“Grunkle Stan!”  Her eyes are all lit up as she shows him the torn photograph.  “I found this under a floorboard in the attic!”

If Stan ever had any doubts about his poker face, he can lay them to rest now. It’s all on the ropes and his expression is perfectly level, maybe even a little curious.

Mabel is still talking.  “I didn’t know there were pictures of you before you were all old!  Do you have any others?”

Oh.

Stan still forgets sometimes, even after everything, that most people can’t tell him and Ford apart.

He knows better.

The young man in the photograph is unmistakably Ford, taken while he was living in Gravity Falls.  He’s got his head bent over that journal of his, but the photographer managed to catch the eager light in his eye, the edge of his smile.

Stan wonders who that photographer was, all those years ago.

A tug at his shirt reminds him he’s not alone, and he definitely can’t get messed up about this picture of his secret twin brother.

Mabel’s face has fallen a bit.  “Grunkle Stan?  Are you okay?”

Stan gives himself two more seconds to look at the picture — Ford just looks so happy; Stan can’t even remember the last time Ford looked like that, even before it all fell apart — and turns to Mabel.

“Yeah,” he says.  He smiles and ruffles her hair.  “Pretty good picture, huh?”

*****

The name is the worst.

Stan never thought identity theft could involve so little fun.

Usually he can get away with just “Stan Pines,” and that’s fine.  That’s his name.  That’s who he’s supposed to be.

Sometimes, though, that’s not enough for whoever’s asking.

“What did you say your name was again?”

He smiles.  Lays it on thick.  “Stanford Pines.”

“Could you sign here?”

He does.  His blocky, uneven handwriting looks even worse than usual where he’s expecting to see neat, flowing script, the way Stanford Pines is supposed to be written.

“This is Stanford Pines,” someone will say.  “Mr. Mystery.”

Stan smiles some more.  Yes, Stanford Pines is certainly that.

Gideon is the worst.  Stanford this and Stanford that and Stan’s never wanted to punch a child so much in his life.

“Stanford Pines!”

He smiles, and he lies.

*****

Dipper halfway drives him nuts sometimes.

It’s not like the kid’s a mini-Ford — he reminds Stan enough of himself, sometimes, though Stan’s not sure that’s great either — but he’s got the brains and the stubbornness and the love of weird nonsense, for sure.

He’s also got that obsessive edge, the drive that sent Ford right off the metaphorical cliff.

Usually Mabel tags along on the weirdness hunts — they make a day of it.  They go out, just the two of them, and come back laughing and joking and shoving at each other.

That’s enough of a painful reminder, but sometimes Stan will catch Mabel sitting by herself, coloring or crafting with a little less energy than usual, and he’ll realize that Dipper’s buried himself in monster theory again.

He tries to keep the kid busy with chores and hustle, but it’s a losing battle.

It was the first time, too.

*****

There’s this old song that Ford used to love when they were younger.

It’s got no words, and Stan used to make fun of it — what's the point of a song with no words?  But Ford insisted it had Meaning, capital M.

It comes on the radio now and then.

Depending on how masochistic Stan is feeling that day, he might let it play.

He still wonders what Ford heard in this song, and if Ford would hear it now.

*****

He realizes, one day near the end, that he’s been Stanford longer than he’s been Stanley.

What’s the point, really?  What does a name matter if it’s so easy for someone else to take your place?

(Did Ford matter so little, in the grand scheme of things, that not one person could recognize him in a place he lived for six years?

Does Stan, in a place he’s lived for almost thirty?)

If he could just stop catching Ford in his reflection now and then, that’d be great.

*****

It’s not any better once Ford gets back (once Stan brings Ford back, the ungrateful bastard).

“Stanford!”

Stan’s got a smile on his face before he even turns around, and what’s wrong with him that he’s halfway made this lie into a Pavlovian response?  Someone calls him Stanford, he smiles and lies.

(Stanford — the real Stanford — is in the basement right now.  He doesn’t even exist, as far as anyone else is concerned.  Stan is Stanford, Stanley is dead, and Ford is a nonentity.

What a life this is).

*****

“So how was it?”

Stan grunts.  “How was what?”

Ford rolls his neck, wincing a little as he works out the unavoidable crick from hunching over a drawing for twenty minutes.  “Being me.”

Stan shrugs.  “Wasn’t hard.  We’re basically the same person, y’know.”

Ford snorts.  A long time (a lifetime) ago that comment might have gotten him worked up, but he’s steadier now, softer around the edges.  “Very funny.  I saw your lease renewal.  You didn’t even change your handwriting, for heaven’s sake.”

“Ford, I rolled up to town, said I was you, and started a tourist trap.  You had a total personality transplant and nobody noticed.”  Stan grimaces.  That sounded really bad.

Ford’s expression has gone rueful and a little sad at the edges, but he doesn’t seem like he’s about launch into full-blown self-recrimination, so that’s fine.  “Yes, well.  That’s what happens when you isolate yourself for six years and your only friend erases his mind to cope with the mistakes you made.”

And that’s Ford trying to shoulder all the blame again, but Stan keeps his mouth shut.  They’re both too comfortable to argue right now.  “Being honest — for once — it kinda sucked.”  Ford’s looking at him, open and encouraging, so Stan keeps going.  “Everyone thought I was you, and it—I wasn’t.  I didn’t want to be.”  Stan shrugs.  “I wanted you you.”

Ford smiles, and it’s a little more worn than Stan remembers, but it’s real, and it’s him.  “I understand.  I met a few parallel versions of you on my travels, and they were you, but — they weren’t really you.”  Ford closes his journal (his new one) and sets it aside, tipping his head back over his chair.  More playfully, he adds, “I wouldn’t want to be you either, Stanley.”

Stan laughs.  “Yeah?  Couldn’t handle the salesmanship?”

“Have more self-respect than to wear any part of your wardrobe.”

“Says the man who wears sweaters in the summer.”

Ford lifts his head and smiles, and this time it’s almost exactly how Stan remembers — quick and a little crooked.  “Fair enough.”  Ford stretches, rolls his neck again.  “For what it’s worth, Stanley, I am glad to be back.”  A wry look.  “Even if it’s going to take ages to sort out the criminal record you gave me.”

Stan slouches deeper into the couch.  Any further and he’s going to slide off, but that’s a risk he’ll take.  “Yeah, yeah.  Talk to me when you’re legally dead.”

“You did that.”

“And?”

“I legally don’t exist.”

“I was trying to learn theoretical physics at the time, Stanford; cut a man some slack.”

Ford laughs, quiet.  “Did I ever thank you for that?”

Stan cracks an eye open.  He didn’t realize he closed them.  “What, learnin’ physics?  Because I’m pretty sure that’s some of the stuff that’s not coming back.”

Ford rolls his eyes.  “For saving me.”

“Hm.”  Ford’s thanked him several times, but lately it’s been less Ford kicking himself and more Ford cautiously trying to engage in the old back-and-forth they used to have, and Stan can get behind that one.  “I dunno.  Might have to say it again.”

“You’re burning through my gratitude very quickly,” Ford says mildly, “but all right.  Thank you for saving me.  You knucklehead.”

Stan never got called that when he was Ford.  He thinks he’s missed it, at least the way Ford says it — like it means something completely different.

“Uh-huh.”  Stan’s eyes are closed again.  He figures he’ll just leave them closed.  “Missed you too, nerd.”

And maybe there’s something to be said for being your own person.

It feels pretty good.

[oathofoaksart]

YOUNG JUSTICE/DC OC: JO “LOVETAP” SHINODA

bio under the cut!

BASICS

Name: Josephine Shinoda 

A.K.A: Lovetap; Jo, Jojo, Jo-Hoe, Tap

Age: 29 [S3]

Gender: Cisgender Female 

Orientation: Bisexual

Occupation: Music Store Owner, Star Sapphire Corps Member 

 Race: Human 

Ethnicity: Japanese-Caucasian 

Location: Santa Monica, California 

Hometown: Hana, Maui; Hawaii

 Skin: Fairly suntanned with visible bikini tanlines, lightly freckled around the nose and cheekbone area

Hair: Naturally black with a blonde ombre gradient, gradient turns dark magenta when powered up. 

Eyes: Red-Brown [civvies], Glowing magenta sclera with white-pink irises [powered up]

Height: 5'4

Build: Well-toned, with strong arms and legs; ample curved. 

Distinctions: Inscription of the One Ring tattooed on her right shoulder blade, fond of yoga pants and loose band muscle shirts combo

 RELATIONS

Parents: Haruto and Tara Shinoda

Siblings: Jack "Daiichi" Shinoda (twin brother; deceased) 

Friends: Emi Homura (deceased), Ghia'ta, Carol "Star Sapphire" Ferris, Guy "Green Lantern" Gardner, Leiko “Inari” Ara [OC], Tora "Ice" Olafsdotter, Shayera “Hawkgirl” Hal, Hank “Hawk” Hall, Don “Dove” Hall, Charlie “Scribe” Jenson [OC] 

Partner/s: Several noncommittal relationships and one-nighters; Bryce "Red Lantern" Richards [OC] (ev.)

Misc.: Queen Aga'po, Gi "Riot/Geode" Flores [OC]

Affiliations: The Star Sapphire Corps, The Justice League  

 PERSONALITY

Personality Type: ENFJ-A [Assertive Protagonist] 

Temperament: Sanguine-Choleric 

Alignment: Neutral Good 

Relaxed | Positive | Idealistic | Sensitive | Stubborn 

 Jo is the poster girl for the coastal surfer babe; laid-back, fun-loving, and friendly. She’s an honest woman, though not scathing, which makes her a go-to for advice and well-placed encouragement. Because of her many interests, she meets and makes friends in all walks of life, often making her the social link between vastly different groups. Her passion rears its head in concern of humanitarian subjects, from LGBTQ+ issues to food crises, and will jump at the chance to lend aid. 

This is especially true as Lovetap, where she feels she has a more hands-on approach in doing good. Her personality doesn’t change in costume as it does amplify, she stays playful and lighthearted in tense situations, but her morals are steadfast. Tap is a loyal and dedicated ally to her fellow Sapphires and friends in the Justice League circle, and a personable hero to civilians she encounters. 

She’s very well-meaning, but she also tends to bite more than she can chew. This becomes a problem when she’s too headstrong to admit she needs a breather and will continue shouldering the weight until someone steps in. It also applies to her emotions, Jo is quick to lend a shoulder to cry on, but struggles to admit when something is amiss in her personal life in fear of bogging down others. Her way of coping with her problems is usually done by busying herself with projects, but sooner or later it becomes too much and she’ll spiral. 

ABILITIES AND WEAKNESSES

Powers and Abilities

Violet Energy Conduit: As part of the Star Sapphire Corps, Jo wields a Violet Power Ring. Like most power rings on the emotional spectrum, it allows Jo the ability of flight, survival in vacuums, manipulation of energy, creation of force fields, creation of light constructs at will, and tap into a xenolinguistic database. Because the Violet ring is powered by love, it also has attributes found only in the Sapphire Corps. 

Love Empathy: Love is the center of the Sapphire Corps and much of the Sapphire’s abilities tie to it. Jo can detect feelings and connections of love from which she can draw power from outside her actual power battery. She can also form connection tethers to people she feels close with, she can use these tethers to know if the other person may be in possible danger and quickly teleport to their side. Being around other Sapphires greatly increases her power as they feed off each other’s love like an echo chamber. 

Crystallization:  Special to the Star Sapphire Corps is the creation of Star Sapphire crystals, often in conjunction to their energy constructs. These crystals can also be used to encase a victim and place them in suspended animation, in some cases able to use the victim as an extra power source by influencing them with love. Jo personally doesn't like to take it up to this point, as she finds it too intrusive. 

Violet Energy Constructs: Jo is able to conjure light constructs at will, her ring being able to create any object. Jo is fond of using mecha-like weapons, classic horror and kaiju characters, and figures from her favorite Kurasawa movies.  

Healing Capabilities: Jo’s ring not only lets her heal at an accelerated rate, but also heal injuries of, or even revive, others provided she has a strong enough connection to share the life energy for such a feat. 

Avarice Immunity: Because Jo’s love is of the selfless sort, Jo is immune to the attacks of an Orange Lantern as long as her love stays that way. 

 Limitations and Weaknesses:

Emotional Instability: The Sapphire ring is a double-edged sword in that while it's formidable in raw power, it can easily turn against Jo with an overload of emotion. If she’s not careful, the ring can influence her day-to-day life from being overly jealous and protective of those she cares for, to being too sensitive of her own feelings. In a worst case scenario, the ring can completely overcome Jo’s mind and force her into a frenzy.

Ring Dependency: Without her ring, Jo reverts to an average human woman, so she is entirely dependent on her ring for protection and offence.  It’s necessary for her to have her ring on at all times or at least on her person should the need arise. 

 HISTORY

Born second of fraternal twins, Josephine Shinoda lived an idyllic lifestyle with her parents and brother in her hometown of Hana, in Maui, Hawaii. Jo and her brother Jack were an especially close pair of siblings, sharing interests from surfing with their father to classic pop culture. Jo was the much more extroverted sibling and had no trouble making friends where she went, whereas Jack had difficulty asserting himself socially; Jo often made strides to make her friends friends of Jack’s. This continued all through their young school life, even as Jack’s social anxiety gave way to depression. Jo and her parents were supportive of him throughout, and continued to be so when the twins finally separated when college came around. 

Jo chose to study in Los Angeles whereas Jack left for Metropolis. Admittedly the distance worried Jo for a while, but college proved to be an overall good experience for Jack, especially once after the introduction of his later girlfriend, Emi. 

Jo spent her college years partying and submercing herself into the music scene, eventually sparking the idea of opening a music store after college. Jack jumped at the idea with Emi right behind, she also being involved in music via playing guitar for an alternative band. Jo and Emi became solid friends in their own right, meeting and sharing even more when Jo would visit on the occasion. 

Not long after college, Jo learned Jack had proposed to Emi and was elated by the news. The three went into making wedding plans, but things were cut short two months into the engagement. Jack and Emi were caught in a fatal car crash, leaving Jo inconsolable. After their respective funerals and some time reflecting, Jo followed through with opening a music shop in their honor, “JJ’s Music and Records.” 

Jo operated in LA for a handful of years before deciding to expand out of her comfort zone and opening another store somewhere else. With an intern in tow, they settled on Bludhaven, where Jo spent another few years. Despite how well her business was doing and that her life was going in a good direction, Jo hadn’t been able to shake off the loss of her two closest friends. She was restless and tried to bury her feelings by distracting herself with anything she could involve herself in, as she didn’t want to set this worry on anyone, especially her parents. Jo was steadily wrapping herself into a depression and refused to admit it. She returned to LA in hopes that the move and reconnecting with old friends would clear her mind. 

With no such luck, Jo proceeded to shell within herself. Her days dulled and she became stuck in routine, spending most of her time in the shop and locking herself at home. While in a particular bad spell, Jo decided to go to the beach to surf and Jo was caught in a minor car crash herself. She wasn’t injured, but the experience was jarring and Jo’s previous experience with car accidents sent her into an emotional break. 

At the same time, Ghia’ta, niece of Queen Aga’po of the Star Sapphires, arrived on Earth with an agenda. The Star Sapphires had experienced a bit of a moral shift, currently spearheaded by Ghia’ta, after she’d met a human by the name Carol Ferris. Carol had been inducted into the Star Sapphires in order to gain the upper hand on the Green Lantern, Hal Jordan, while he found himself on the Sapphire’s homeplanet of Zamarron. But Carol had resisted the Sapphires’ urging and instead gave Ghia’ta an alternate view of what love was, selfless and kind. Moved by Carol’s insight, Ghia’ta began to try to teach the other Sapphires this new view. She was met by rebuttal and while she continued to fight for reform, she knew doing so alone wasn’t going to get her far. 

She’d come to Earth in search for a new Sapphire that could better follow Ghia’ta’s new outlook, as Carol chose not to join the Corps and Ghia’ta had gotten word of Earth’s Lanterns being of a special crop. What she came across was Jo, stranded and crying on the side of the road. Initially Ghia’ta approached her to see if she could be of any help, but to her surprise, her ring detected Jo’s broken heart. Jo’s loss of her brother and friend left a deep hole in her heart and Ghia’ta discovered that this was caused by the love stripped away from her. Sapphires, Ghia’ta included, believed true love to be inherently romantic, but while looking into Jo’s heart she found her love for her brother and friend to be just as true as any. Overjoyed at this realization, she decided to choose Jo as her new champion. 

Jo was thrown for a loop. First by the appearance of this stranger who showed herself to be an alien who’d somehow read into why she felt the way she did, then by her request to join her galactic love brigade. Still Ghia’ta’s ring called out to her and the more she explained the situation of the Sapphires, the more Jo felt a sense of duty. Jo had never been the kind to turn down an opportunity to help, even if the road sounded steep, and so she accepted. 

Jo became the newest member of the Star Sapphire Corps. Her induction was met with heavy scrutiny by the Zamarrons, the leaders of the Sapphire Corps, as she didn’t fit the perimeters in which they chose their new members. In a slight twist, Queen Aga’po allowed Jo to join as a “experiment” partially to show Ghia’ta her claims were being taken seriously and that Aga’po herself was becoming open to her niece’s words. 

Jo still isn’t completely sure what she’s gotten herself into, but plans to make the most with what she was given. And she hopes, if there is an afterlife, that Jack and Emi could be at peace with what they helped aspire. 

 NOTES

For no reason other than personal preference, Lovetap is set on using a surfboard construct as her mode of flight, even during battle. 

Jo is very athletic and a bit of a gym rat, enjoying activities from various sports to yoga. She is also an avid reader and lover of pop culture, reflecting in JJ’s as it doubles as a bookstore as well. She found a fellow Justice League ally with a pop culture store named Charlie Jenson and the two quickly made their store affiliates. 

Jo’s birthday falls on Valentine’s Day and she finds the irony of it funny 

Jo had a hardcore, but thankfully, short-lived, crush on Guy Gardner. It’s a secret she’ll take to the grave. 

Jo learned how to play the acoustic guitar because of Emi and plays outside her LA store on nice days, something she eventually teaches her young friend and eventual mentee, Gi Flores. 

Her father was a gourmet chef and much of what he knew he taught his children, Jo is a wicked cook, but is often too lazy to get creative with her dishes. 

[mihidecet]

Tibi's MCYT WritingTober, day 22

It's that time of the day/night again my dears! I'm coming to you with a new fill for @the-only-gamer-gost 's list of prompts!

Today is "In the Mines"! This spawned from a very awful really not good thought @whatimevendoinhere had when we still thought we were going to get a dad!Schlatt au. Rip to that.

But still!! I really do hope you enjoy! <3

Fundy is not exactly fond of being woken up at the crack of dawn, especially if it is to spend the rest of his day working on a bloody underground pathway.

But when Schlatt comes knocking at his door with a self assured smile, twin axes and a plan, there’s not much he can do.

Fundy’s not sure that the path Tubbo has made is completely for them - he’s got a bad feeling about it - but he’s not going to question the kid’s loyalty. They don’t need to start looking for traitors and liars and spies among Schlatt’s personal circle, it would only lead to either bad discoveries or lower the morale intensely - neither are things Fundy wants.

But he can take a morning of chopping down trees, if it means chatting aimlessly with his president. The man can hold a conversation, sue him.

It has nothing to do with not-so-recent changes of heart.

It takes them a bit, but after getting about a stack of wood combined, they move into the tunnels. From there, it’s easy to fall back into the rhythm of placing down the blocks to complete the path, make it a bit larger than a single square, so that nobody’s at risk of slipping and falling.

The part of Fundy that can appreciate nice things wants to take down the outer layer of stone, cobble and various ores that create a sort of plain and ugly looking sight. It could be improved with some stone bricks, maybe some smooth diorite; even the path itself is just monocolor wood slabs, it could do with some different shades!

But to be quite honest, Fundy’s a bit scared of what he could find if he took away even a single block. Who knows how many diverging paths are born from this main one.

His suspicions get even worse when, halfway through the afternoon, they run into Wilbur, who seems to be just passing by - coming from where? going where? just how dangerous for Manburg is this path?

Still, they have to make good with what they have, so Fundy lowers his axe, wipes sweat from his forehead, and nods towards the other man.

“Hello, Wilbur. What brings you here?” Wilbur shrugs, eyes moving slowly as he takes in the sight in front of him - Fundy’s not going to acknowledge the slight envy in his stare, he is not.

Schlatt stands up straight on his left, from where he’d been crouched down trying to grab a slab of wood that had fallen off the path.

“Nothing much, just taking a stroll. Seeing the sights.”

Schlatt snorts out a laugh, gesturing to the stone walls.

“You mean this shit? I mean, don’t get me wrong, Tubbo’s made an incredible job, such a brilliant idea, but. This isn’t much of a sight. Now, Fundy here, I bet he’d be able to make something pretty out of this!” Schlatt exclaims, giving him a small tap with his elbow, and Wilbur on the other side of them suddenly looks livid.

Looks like Fundy’s eliminating himself out of the conversation earlier than expected.

“Don’t sell Tubbo so short, he’s capable of doing very great things! His house used to be very pretty.”

“Well, yeah, before it got burnt down! You know what’s not getting burnt down, ever? Fundy’s flag. What a brilliant idea! He is so smart, really. And talented too, he came up with the flag all on his own!”

“Stop.” Fundy tries, despite having his back turned to the rest of the group, as he feels his ears starting to burn. He’s not good with compliments, alright?

“He- he still has much to learn.” Despite the different sort of burning this comment evokes, Fundy keeps on working on the path - maybe if he ignores the whole situation, they’ll just stop.

“Wh- He can run circles around me and you, Wilbur, come on!”

“Please stop.” Now he turns, feeling his whole face burn, and he’s met with an array of mixed feelings stamped on Wilbur’s face and the back of Schlatt’s head. His president immediately turns, looking elated despite his raised finger and stern expression.

“I will not! You’re very smart, and have brilliant ideas!”

“Oh my god-” Fundy cannot cope with all of this, so all his brain can help him with is raising his hands towards his face in an attempt of hiding his embarrassment.

“And I trust you with my life!”

“Oh my god, dad, can you stop?!”

Silence, blessed silence, falls in the tunnels.

Fundy turns back to his work, finally satisfied, and completely misses the aftermath of his statement.

“Fundy-” Schlatt’s voice starts, sounding extremely amused - and slightly awed, which is disturbing, worrying and never a good sign.

“I swear to god if you start with the nice things again.” Fundy turns, but the man has his hands in front of him in a placating gesture.

“No, no, no more nice things for now I promise. But Fundy- Fundy do you see me as a father figure?”

Fundy’s mind draws a blank. He blinks.

“Excuse me?! What- How- Why?!”

“Fundy you just called him “dad”.” Wilbur adds - and oh, wow, Wilbur looks sick, pale as a ghost, eyes wet like he’s about to cry, holy shit. But he’s not making any sense.

“No I did not.” Fundy answers, just the slight edge of panic making it into his voice because what if- but no. He did not just do that. He did not.

“But actually, you did.” Schlatt answers, the grin on his face widening and - nope. He is not doing that. Fundy refuses to deal with that at the moment. Possibly forever.

“I’m done. Keep the extra wood, I am leaving.”

And then he leaves. Walking. Not running. Not hoping nobody follows him.

Not wishing the tunnel would open up under his feet and swallow him.

Is it too late to go and live as a hermit?

[ll-underestimated-ll]

Answering All Questions from a Prompt Cos I Do What I Want

1. What’s one experience your character had that made them very afraid?

The first time he woke up to find that what he’d dismissed as being entirely the formation of one of his nightmares - was very much real. Prompted the realisation of just how much harm he was capable of doing.

2. Does your character have a deep and/or dark secret? If so, what is it?

Leo doesn’t let people know that his sire & grandsire never entirely aligned themselves with the Camarilla. Considering it took him some time to work that out himself he holds hope that at his current age people simply won’t go digging. There is also generally a lot of things he’s done in the name of fulfilling some role or another that he feels deep shame for. That’s less kept secret and more... he just doesn’t speak about it.

3. Have they ever lost a loved one? What happened to them, and are they the same as they were before they lost them?

Many. Regularly. Loss is simply part of un-life for him. The fact he hasn’t lost anyone near and dear to him over the last half a century hangs over him like a bad omen. He’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. But a short list of the most notable losses that had an summary of their impact on him:  - Eldest brother : sickness/starvation ~1510 - resulted in Leo taking on a survivalist ‘me before others’ attitude. - Best friend : first feed post-embrace 1516 - made him terrified of himself for several years - First wife : Mother order him to burn her to death late-1520s - made him highly aware of the fact that he can be turned on people he’s cared about  - Ell (one of his ‘siblings’) : sent on a suicide mission Mother had him sign off on ~1630?1620? - was the last straw in hammering home what he’d already seen over the course of being blood bonded. They were all disposable to her, and it was only a matter of time before he’d meet the same fate. - Nossie he’d fallen for : execution 1940s - after he had committed several masquerade breaches Vindr ordered Leo to use trust he had with him to follow through with the execution. It’d been a long time since he’d killed someone that dear to him and the ease at which he did it unsettled even himself. 

4. Has your character ever been hurt or betrayed by someone they thought they could depend on? What happened?

Yes. He’d had ‘siblings’ try to double-cross him on plenty of occasions. Usually was via trying to pin the blame for something on him.

5. Would they ever turn on someone they just met in order to save themselves?

Yes.

6. Have they ever committed a crime, or something they felt was wrong? What was it?

The entire Crimes Act. At least, as far as he has the capacity for doing so.

7. If your character was allowed to murder one person without any consequences, who would it be and why?

Vindr. The time spent blood bonded to each other between 1860 - 1989.

8. Does your character have any enemies? If so, who and why?

There are several hunters based in the country he’s trying to figure out how to get rid off without causing a scene or draw any attention to. They’re a threat to his community. 

9. Is the character a victim of abuse?

Yes.

10. What were the character’s parents like? What was the affect the parents had on the character?

His father was a minor merchant managing the coming and goings of goods from his home village. His work placed them above standard serfdom allowing him the chance to learn basic reading and writing before his sire (Mother) adopted him. Any influence they had on him has long since been overshadowed by other things.

11. What are your character’s coping mechanisms?

Burying himself in work and activities. Finding relatable aspects in fictional characters. Joking around and making the most of opportunities where he doesn’t have to take things too seriously.

12. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?

After lifetimes of suffering he’d prefer to avoid it. However he does have a cruel streak and enjoy seeing other people suffer. Has that ‘it’ll build character’ and ‘it’s not that bad so suck it up’ sort of attitude towards other peoples shit. Sometimes he just wants someone to suffer as a way to exercise control over them.

13. What does it take to make your character cry?

Simultaneously a lot, and also real minor stuff. Ya know, the standard shit to come from suppressing/bottling up your reactions to incredibly straining situations. He’ll be cold and apathetic in some incredibly horrible situation he ought to cry about. Then some time later break down post screaming fit at some inanimate object because it wasn’t cooperating with him.

14. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Other than his prioritisation of maintaining his own power and survival over anything else? The fact he’s stuck at 16 years old. That’s an incredibly difficult thing to work around - even when in a relationship based purely on romantic feelings. These modern nights he feels that both physical and overall age lock him out of legitimate relationships entirely. To the point where he doesn’t even play at stringing people along on one sided things ~for the drama~ like he used to. 

This particular reason is what’s had him friendzoned by the twins, despite them being the best probably candidate and him pulling kind of a Edward on them.

15. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Biggest fear is hard to pinpoint, but in general the concept of being completely helpless and not in control of his own actions. When scared he gets paranoid and hyper-vigilant of his surroundings. Very on guard towards any threats and looking for away to run away.

16. What are your character’s vices and bad habits?

Impulsiveness. Knowingly causing harm. Smoking.

17. Is your character afraid of death? Why/why not?

Absolutely. He doesn’t even like to think about what final death will have in store for him.

18. Would society call your character a good guy or a bad guy? what would they say they are?

From societies perspective from everything he’s been involved with - 120% a bad guy. He’d say the same and mark himself down as being an Anti-hero at best. 

19. What is your character insecure about?

His own paranoia causing him to flip from being impulse to being incredibly indecisive at times.

20.  What was something they struggled with greatly and how did they overcome it?

Being blood bonded. Overcome through a mix of share force of will and personal introspection.

21. Does your character have anyone that they really care about, to the point that they would give their life for them? If so, who are they and what is your character’s relation to them? If not, do they wish they did? Is there anyone they wish they could build such a relationship with?

While he doesn’t think he’d give his lives for them because that sort of behaviour is incredibly foolish in his eyes - his current found family from the past century. His central coterie of the twins and Alexandra in particular. He will throw just about everyone in his city under the bus in the name of protecting them. And, they’d do the same. In post-prince verse when his city falls Alex ends up the one sacrificing her life for him and god the guilt is sickening.

He’s quite happy with his current little familial circle but he’s hoping to get closer with Danny. Get him to be part of that found family circle properly.

22. If they could change just one thing about themselves, what would it be?

He’d like to have the capacity to care for people without feeling like he’s going to inevitably be their downfall.

23. Is your character more physically or emotionally strong? Why is this?

If we’re talking strong in terms of taking blows that can be taken I wanna say physically cos despite it being his lowest stat his Fortitude is high so he soaks damage fairly easily.

24. What is your character’s most important possession? Why?

He still has his signet ring from when he fled his Mother. Not even he knows just how much that it means to him. It’s intensely sentimental to him as the only physical possession he has left of that era of his life. Someone stole it from him while he was living in London and he made quite the mess of them to get it back.

25. Do they find that they care what others think of them? Or do they not really mind how others view them?

He flip flops wildly between caring intensely about what others think of him and not giving a singular shit. It depends on the crowd and his motivations. In general his preference is to have people to like him and see him as above them in some way.

26. What, in your character’s life, puts the most pressure on them?

The community he’s Prince of. He sees his role as being to protect them at the end of the day and sometimes that means doing things they don’t like. But doing things they dislike gets push back and push back de-legitimises his power as Prince.

27.  What would be the worst way to die, in your character’s opinion?

How he almost died when I used him briefly as a PC. Disgraced. Looked down upon with no dignity by everyone around him in a city he’s unfamiliar with. Nobody. Nothing. The last of his city. A waste of the self sacrifice from those he loved. Crying, screaming desperately trying to claw his way out of capture at the hands of those that don’t know tossing him in a holding cell where light can get to him will kill him.

28. What is your character’s greatest strength?

In mun’s opinion, the fact that despite everything he’s been through and seen...the fact that he just keeps going.

29. What is their weapon of choice, and what weapon do they dislike using the most?

Social manipulation so that combat is avoided in the first place. But, he’s always had a liking for firearms and actually quite likes using them. He dislikes fighting with his bare hands.

30. What makes them feel safe or secure? What makes them feel insecure or unsafe?

He feels most safe when either alone or the only people around him are those he has blood bonded. He feels deeply uncomfortable around kindred that are of a lower generation than him. With dominate as a main discipline he finds that not being able to resort to it suddenly makes all interactions with the person he’s interacting with very threatening.

[viktcrr]

「maxence danet-fauvel & nonbinary」⇾ samuels, viktor, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he/they are a capricorn and 24 years old. he/they are studying visual arts, living in noland and can be observant, ingenious, reticent & dependent. when i see him/them i am reminded of a sculptor’s hands clay-ridden, the insistent hum of tv static, and a crying preacher inside a dusty funeral home.  ⇽「james & 21 & est & they/them.」

hllo !!! i’m james n here’s one of my big idiot muses <3 he’s not actually dumb he’s :/ a bit evil. bt thts okay hes still <3 beloved <3 LKDSFHLSADLKGFSHLKD anyways!

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

aesthetic.

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts, graveyards and half-empty wine bottles, sitting there for hours and talking to nothing, about nothing, a god complex, gold rings adorning both hands, barbwire baseball bats, having never played baseball in your life, deep eyebags and broken mirrors, a permanent chip on one’s shoulder, yearning, longing, wishing.

basic info.

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′1″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: pansexual uwu

pinterest

stats

inspired by: beetlejuice (beetlejuice), sid (toy story), jack sparrow (pirates of the caribbean), francis wilkerson (malcolm in the middle), azula (avatar: the last airbender), vicky (the fairly oddparents), stu macher / billy loomis (scream), marshall lee (adventure time), bojack horseman (bojack horseman), any it’s always sunny character :/

biography.

born to mama and papa (preacher) samuels in rochester, new york - fifteen minutes after his twin sister, tatiana samuels. years later, rosa samuels joined the gang.

was an awkward, quiet kid growing up, he didn’t interact well with others and preferred being left alone to dig up worms and draw on the walls of their childhood home. the only exception was his twin, really.

as he got older he grew out of this, but instead became like … sort of an asshole? maybe to compensate for years of childhood awkwardness. he’s the sort of person who will bite the hand that feeds him & developed into a full time nuisance by middle school, unlike tatiana who was much more subtle about her conniving manners.

always has been a fan of ‘darker’ materials. grim & creepy morbid shit. probably the biggest tim burton fan, ever since he was a kid … not a good look for a preacher’s son, but he never really felt ‘in’ with the rest of his family to begin with. classic black sheep syndrome.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid that probably prompted one or two or five phone calls home to assure everything was fine.

just really had a knack for art at a young age, from drawing to painting to playing with clay. it’s always been his Thing and probably is the only thing he’s good at.

being twins with tatiana was hard. they were near opposite besides both being quite mean-spirited. tatiana handled being in public better, left a better image behind - but viktor had talent, more than she did. they loved each other deeply - y’know, those unbreakable twin bonds as cliche as it sounds - but found each other as competition for their parents’ attention. a rivalry for affection.

in high school is when viktor really started to act out. it started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service & almost had an exorcism performed on him.

his only redeemable trait was like … just his sheer talent in the arts. was in a 3D art AP course and specialized in sculptures. he could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because he was the problem child, the one who deserved to be disciplined for all his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with whatever she wanted much easier. on the bright-side, for her, i guess.

not a very motivated person - wasn’t planning on going to college, much less going to radcliffe but his parents literally wrote & sent his college application for him because they weren’t going to house a deadbeat but had too much heart to kick him out onto the streets. cool!

he’s actually pretty smart but he just doesn’t apply himself. has a minor in english because he didn’t care for an extra course-load, but he’s good at writing & analyzing literature. is going to use it to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s. not for the kids, but because he likes to leave a trail of terror in whatever he does.

has been experimenting with himself since high school but college is where he really had started to crack down on himself. was out as pansexual & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college just … not to his parents, who don’t really need to know.

if you asked him if he believed in twins having a psychic connection with each other - he’d tell you he wouldn’t know. it felt believable at times, but sometimes he had no idea what was going on inside of tatiana’as head. on the other hand - viktor had always felt oddly transparent to her, like she knew all of his moves before he did. the only person who could predict him accurately.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

when tatiana disappeared, viktor knew something was up. it was a twist in his gut, pure instinct that something wasn’t right. and it wasn’t right - and when she was proclaimed missing, they couldn’t find her.

and when tatiana died - viktor knew. it felt wrong, something cut so severely in him he could pinpoint her death to the second. he didn’t know how, or why, but he knew it. knew it before anybody else had.

afterwards he went on a sort of bender. he’d begun to struggle with a mild drug addiction late senior year of high school / early college, but he was managing it up until this point.

his mental health had also sunk to an all-time low, when it’d never been great to begin with. (manic & depressive episodes. once fixated on a sculpting project for six months and then knocked it off the table and destroyed it as soon as he finished it for no apparent reason.)

tatiana’s body wasn’t found immediately, and when it was … viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing & being hospitalized. spent six months in & out of psychiatric care after that.

came back to radcliffe to finish his senior year because … for the reasons above, he hadn’t been able to complete it. just wants to get his credits and get out of here.

is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief, especially since the one year anniversary of tatiana’s death was this month (january) - causes him to spiral and be unpredictable in regards of his mental health. he stopped taking his medication, so. :/ some days are alright, other days are pretty bad.

UPDATE: now that summer’s come n go ... viktor hs been thru <3 a lot <3 recently. switched therapists (his :/ last one got her license revoked) & started new medications, went to a treatment center briefly ‘cos .. he wasn’t doing too well :/ bt now he’s back baybey! trying to be better n trying to be sober but ... :/

personality.

the human embodiment of a gremlin that was fed after midnight. a goblin, if you will. one of those cats with a narrow head and really big ears … that’s them!

a big horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies & probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than they should because they just … love those black & white vertical-striped pants.

can appreciate the lore & cryptids at radcliffe and likes to feed into the fear that surrounds them. is probably the cause of a few ‘anomalies’ and ‘paranormal sightings’ because they’re just … a jerk.

fashion alternates between e-boy (they would be tiktok famous if they were 17 & didn’t think that a majorly minor based app was weird.), millennial beetlejuice, and goth in a crop top & sweatpants. big fan of crop tops and a big fan of sweatpants.

they can be really fucking mean? petty, aggressive, a major instigator. will literally spit in your face for little to no reason, you could just look at them the wrong way. the kind of person who will stick their gum into someone else’s hair. other than that? they’re like … sort of okay. they’re not always mean, just a dick about 90% of the time lmao

like okay yeah they’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except they feel like it and believes it. it’s fine, they’re fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact that they’re probably getting into a fight whenever, considers themself to be a lover and not a fighter but that’a primarily because they fuck a lot. uses it as a coping mechanism, like they’re this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ and it’s … a Lot. might have a problem with hypsersexuality but they’re not fully aware of it.

the preacher’s whore son, basically :)

pansexual & nonbinary, switches between he & they pronouns often and without a pattern, but they have such a fragile grip on their identity that you could call them ‘dog-faced bitch’ and they’d turn around like. sup.

vastly impulsive … like i said, they destroy their own creations for the fun of it. spends all teir money on useless shit, will cheat on someone because they feel like it & likes the thrill, screams into the night sky frequently like a cat in heat.

will also spend months creating useless shit for no reason too. spent six of them sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of them & then took a sledgehammer to it.

they’re very super dramatic. would play the organ at church when nobody was looking after them and service was about to start. would just churn out these super haunting, creepy melodies like they were phantom of the opera. would do the same exact thing at home on their keyboard with the pipe organ setting whenever they got grounded until their parents took it away HBDSJFNGKH

will absolutely not talk about their ‘time away’ because it’s not anyone’s business, not even their own younger sister. still refuses to talk about tatiana’s death, or their mental health, or their addiction (fallen back into it but it hasn’t gotten severe … yet :/), or anything involving their own emotions.

will just change the topic abruptly, no warning. asks about the jonas brothers instead and they fucking hate the jonas brothers.

that being said they’re absolutely not over tatiana’s death & it’s to the point of obsession over it. like there’s some kind of secret that needs to be uncovered, even though there just. isn’t. tatiana was their rock and they were pretty much dependent on her. kept them grounded. could control them when nobody else could, got into their head easier than others. it’s sort of like rosa lost two siblings that day because viktor hasn’t been the same since.

emotionally unavailable while also crying twice a day. cries during their brawls but still wins. is stony-faced when they tell you they cheated on you with your much hotter best friend.

will tell you straight up what they want from you, no bullshit & no beating around the bush. just blunt. if they want to fuck, nothing else, then that’s it. if they feel deviation or developing feelings then they’ll ghost in less than a second. is awful like that but feels no shame.

but also emotional as shit and it’s confusing. will cry on a whim and then flip you off if you try to console them or ask them what’s up. will bite you.

they go to therapy but they just fuck around and wastes their therapists’ time … also is fucking their therapist, but that’s neither here nor there. so they’re not really getting the help they need.

likes to be intimidating but not … with their body or anything because they’re a TWIG but uses their love & knowledge of horror and creepy shit to their advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before (also is a big fan of sfx makeup & has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids around with a chainsaw without the chain on halloween every year.

generally never doing good, both mental health wise & morally. would probably steal candy from a baby for funsies.

i don’t know if there’s a good to them somewhere deep down, but they don’t see any issues with themself either. nothing really breaks through to them anymore because the only person who ever made them stop and think about their actions was tatiana, and well, y’know. :/

an introverted reclusive type who doesn’t like most people or going out, but does so anyway if it means a quick high & a cheap thrill.

pretty observant and likes to analyze people even though they’re often like … partially wrong. judgmental because they like to make people feel bad, not because they’re a righteous mighty person. because they’re not. so like, a hypocrite!

wanted connections.

a roommate… but it’s an absolute nightmare to live with him.

enemies… because viktor would have a lot of them…

familiar faces… people who knew tatiana or of her / were her friends. maybe even those who dated her, and who viktor would’ve tried to intimidate / scare at any given chance :/

pitiful glances… people who take pity on viktor and he hates it sooo much.

hooligan gremlin kids… just a friend group of grown ass adults who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers.

high school girlfriend… probably the one he lost his virginity to inside his family church :/

childhood acquaintances… people who knew him from his youth.

exes… good & bad terms, but mostly bad terms because viktor is an actual demon. probably cheated on them.

soft… i don’t know if he’s soft towards anyone and/or is capable of it but we can try. we can try.

unrequited… either viktor just doesn’t like them or he’s holding back because he’s :/ got issues with relationships & is self-sabotaging as one does

enemies with Tension… of the … spicy kind if you know what i mean. wink.

friends… old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. i don’t know how many he had but if your muse likes to cause a ruckus and fuck shit up then viktor’s your man.

hook-ups… current or old. friends with benefits, one night stands, anything and everything because he fucks around a lot.

ride or die… friendship but make it extreme.

bad influence… he’s just toxic to be around and brings out the worst in people :/

bad egg… he’s gotten into a few fights :/ maybe you witnessed it. maybe you were in it.

literally anything i wld love all sorts of plots.

[goraturtle]

1 - 43 please!

WHEWWWWW, i told myself i’d do these questions for two of my main current ocs i play in weekly motw sessions, Astrid and Frankie, if i got any, so let’s goooooo

under a readmore bc this is long and i’m not evil

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Astrid - if she’s with someone? Astrid could probably sit in companionable silence for hours, and she’s very much a “falling asleep on people as a love language” kind of person, so if she trusts u and has time to kill she Will fall asleep on you. If she’s by herself waiting for something to happen or already twitchy to begin with? she could probably stand like 3 minutes before getting agitated and pacing around or finding something to do

Frankie - if she’s ever in a spot where she can’t think of anything to do, she will Find something to do and then get so absorbed in it she won’t move an inch over the course of literal hours. either that or if she’s with people she’ll be content to just laze around and hang out

How easy is it for your character to laugh?

Astrid - not very easy at all, she’s more likely to roll her eyes at you if you try to say something funny or elbow you sharply in the ribs if she doesn’t approve of your joke lol

Frankie - extremely easy, frankie is generally pretty easygoing + especially loves to make other people laugh

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

Astrid - this kid is kind of a mess so she’s very much one of those “go over everything in your head that could possibly go wrong in the future” kind of people, which, as you can imagine, doesn’t rlly help with sleep

Frankie - for plot reasons [tw terminal illness ///] (ie. Frankie is actually extremely ill and her backstory is that she came to town seeking a magical cure to save her own life) Frankie is usually so bone weary she doesn’t need a routine. From a young age she’s been good at falling asleep wherever/whenever she wants, but these days the second she hits a slightly cushioned piece of furniture, she’s out like a light (and also a very heavy sleeper)

How easy is it to earn their trust?

Astrid - surprisingly easy if you’re a decent person. she might still be slow to open up but that doesn’t mean that trust isn’t there. for all her prickliness, Astrid likes to believe in the good in people (to her frustration)

Frankie - Not that easy actually! Frankie likes to believe in the good in people too, but she tends to be highly suspicious of strangers

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

Astrid - depends on the person, very VERY difficult if you’re someone she’s already trusted bc she has a hard time wrapping her head/heart around betrayal (even if she projects otherwise) but if you’re just some rando it’s easy to land yourself on her shitlist

Frankie - Also not easy, she doesn’t mistrust unless you give her a reason to. She’s just pretty neutral on people and tries to cover her bases until she’s got cause to believe otherwise

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

Astrid - my baby was a thief for most of her life before getting scooped up and conscripted into being a superhero, so in general she does not give a shit about the law

Frankie - you know, for a law school dropout you’d think Frankie would care more about laws, but she doesn’t. not even a little bit.

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

Astrid - I think seeing happy families for her is a unique trigger, reminds her of when her mom was still around and when her twin siblings were babies. She was separated from the twins for years, and has reconnected with one of them, so I think even spending time w/ her little sis has been triggering major nostalgia as well. She wants to tell her baby sister more about how things were (Caroline was too little to retain most memories from back then) but doesn’t want to push too hard, and doesn’t know how to open up about memories she’s kept close for years. The feeling is painful, but little by little she’s learning to cope w/ it and appreciate it.

Frankie - Happy families is probably a trigger for Frankie as well, since she left home after highschool after getting into a dumb argument w/ her dad. She was always going to go home after getting her law degree, but got her diagnosis + discovered the existence of magic and that changed everything. That nostalgia is extremely painful for her, and she tries to block it out as much as possible, since she knows that the next time she sees her parents it’ll either be after she figures out a cure for herself or once she gives up completely and goes home to accept her fate

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

Astrid - she was a bit of a gregarious wildchild so it was a lot of exasperated “get DOWN from there” “Astrid stop RUNNING” “Don’t forget to hold my hand when we cross the street!!!”s from her mom lol. poor woman.

Frankie - Frankie was a very shy little kid, so it was a lot of gentle coaxings from her parents for her to speak up

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

Astrid - fuck yeah she does, hers was probably “fuck you”

Frankie - absolutely. she probably swore the first time after hearing her dad cuss or something, so it’d be something like “son of a bitch” or something (her dad probably lost his mind laughing after he heard her say it, and her mom would NOT have been happy w him lol)

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

Astrid - She hasn’t told her baby sister that she was a thief before her current gig, and that makes her feel bad honestly

Frankie - the lie by omission about her general health and why she came to town in the first place. it haunts her literally every single day.

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

Astrid - she does not ask questions, probably acts like she understands/is above the conversation but you could definitely catch her side-eyeing people or eavesdropping to try and understand

Frankie - outright is like ‘haha what’

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

Astrid - will scratch herself on every single inanimate object she can reach, scowling the entire time

Frankie - complain very loudly to incite sympathy and help

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

Astrid - she generally wears a lot of black/dark blue. She looks good in dark blue, but she also looks great in brighter jewel tones (she won’t wear them though bc she thinks it’s ‘Too Much’)

Frankie - she wears a TON of color all the time, think tacky buttondowns every single day, but she thinks she looks best in that soft peachy kind of orange (and she’s absolutely right)

What animal do they fear most?

Astrid - *takes a long draw off an old wooden pipe* Mankind

Frankie - she was kind of woodsy as a kid, living in montana, so i don’t think she’s really afraid of any animals. maybe a healthy respect for bears? now that she’s a werewolf i don’t think she’s scared of any animals at all

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

Astrid - definitely an on-the-spot thinker

Frankie - she’s very careful about what she says, generally, but she can blurt stuff out if she’s feeling emotional/not in control

What makes their stomach turn?

Astrid - cruelty in general. She’s lived a hard life and isnt afraid to punch hard, but she doesn’t understand delighting in someone’s suffering

Frankie - thoughts of impending inescapable death

Are they easily embarrassed?

Astrid - depends, most things won’t rattle her but I think genuine affection when she isn’t expecting it will get her a little flustered

Frankie - no she’s a rock. the only thing that could make her blush would be like a genuine romantic confession + someone being interested in her in that way

What embarrasses them?

whoops, see above

What is their favorite number?

Astrid - does not care

Frankie - 420

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

Astrid - she’d probably roll her eyes and be like “Don’t be stupid, do I really have to explain something so obvious to you?”

Frankie - “Well first of all if I wanna kiss them on the lips it’s romantic”

Why do they get up in the morning?

Astrid - more habit than anything most days, but she gets up for her little sister, for her teammates, and in the hopes that they’ll be able to find the other twin, her brother, very soon

Frankie - very much does not want to die or let down the people who have supported her since coming to down.

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

Astrid - she’d get possessive but ONLY in private, afterwards. Astrid would react off the cuff and get pretty pissy, but get even angrier at herself for lashing out + leave/avoid the person for a while to try and control herself

Frankie - I don’t think she’s used to being possessive so it would take her completely by surprise. She’d get very hurt, and wouldn’t necessarily be aloof, but she’d try to remove herself from the situation so she’s ‘not in the way’. She’d probably get pissed at herself for even feeling hurt, when it’s not like she’s in any position to be laying the foundation for a future anywhere

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

Astrid - thief, so. she will definitely just take that shit provided there’s nothing else to make her hesitate (ie. it’s not a special trinket/memento and provided the person she’s stealing from isn’t struggling to make ends meet)

Frankie - I can’t see her getting envious over a possession or anything honestly

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?

Astrid - yeah, why not honestly. I think she’d be fine talking generally about it w/ anyone. She does NOT want to hear any details about her two madly in love middle aged coworkers fucking, though, please no

Frankie - definitely. not a lot of romantic experience, but Frankie is old hat at hookups/one night stands and doesn’t shy away from talking about it if asked. I think she’s more embarrassed about never having been in a real relationship than she is about her sexual history

What are their thoughts on marriage?

Astrid - her mom never got married (she has a different father from the twins, and in both cases the dad fucked off and left after her mom realized she was pregnant) and she is terrified of letting people down, so at the moment she isn’t rlly excited about that kind of thing. Her ex, Charlie, also betrayed her and hurt her pretty badly, and even though they were teenagers Astrid still thought of her as being The One, so she’s doubtful about ever finding or wanting to find a replacement. She’s still young and traumatized though, and I can easily see her mind changing

Frankie - literally domestic life would be bliss for her, but she doesn’t even let herself think about a serious relationship, let alone marriage, bc she does not anticipate living long

What is their preferred mode of transportation?

Astrid - she had this shitty old 2003 chevy silverado she drove for years that she’s still got a soft spot for, even if she’ll swear up and down to any witness that she hates the damn thing

Frankie - she’s got a little prius-c bc i wanted to shove her into a clown car, but she grew up on her parents’ horse farm in montana and tbh. nothing can beat horseback for her.

What causes them to feel dread?

Astrid - these days? being alone/feeling exposed. She’s gotten used to her backup. Also thinking about her lost twin brother has been a major source of dread/pain for her lately

Frankie - when she wakes up in the morning and the body aches and chills are worse than the day before

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

Astrid - no and if she caught someone lying to her just to save her feelings she’d be SO mad, prepare to get ur ass beaten by this maladjusted 5′1 twenty five year old

Frankie - definitely not. which is hypocritical as hell for her, all things considered

Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

Astrid - she sets very high standards for herself that she can’t possibly meet, so no. she’s still trying to feel like she belongs as a superhero

Frankie - usually, but obviously her lying about her health is a major blind spot where she becomes extremely hypocritical

Who do they most regret meeting?

Astrid - i’d say on the surface she says she regretted meeting her ex, Charlie, but that’s not true, not even a little bit. She’s still heartsick over everything that happened between them

Frankie - there was an incident with a werewolf hunter (who Frankie had helped to save the life of) going after Lou and Selene. Lou got shot (Frankie healed him) and the two of them had to kill her, which was obviously traumatizing for them. Frankie still wishes that they’d never even seen the hunter in the first place and regrets saving her life

Who are they the most glad to have met?

Astrid - when she was conscripted into the superhero biz and given her powers, she was put onto a team with two other supers named Arsenal and Bullet (the other player characters, real names are Heather and Cyrus), who are middle aged pros very used to the field. Astrid’s only 25 so they naturally kind of leaned into the parent relationship, and Astrid loves them so much. It was rocky at first because Astrid was adjusting and wasn’t even sure she wanted to be there, but they have been so patient and kind at this point i think Astrid would literally do anything for them

Frankie - the other player characters, again (two twins named Selene and Lou who are members of the local werewolf pack. Frankie got bit in the first session to see if a werewolf’s healing abilities could cure her. It didn’t work), but especially Selene. They’ve been bonding a lot lately and as much as Frankie wants to keep everyone at bay in case she fails and has to leave town in the middle of the night, everyone she’s met in town has made a big impact on her.

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

Astrid - her only ‘joke’ is that she rolls her eyes constantly. in the early games when she was still too emotionally constipated to really chat with Arsenal/Heather and Bullet/Cyrus i made her roll her eyes like every 3 seconds. She doesn’t think she’s a very funny person and spent a lot of time growing up trying to focus on keeping herself fed/safe so she feels awkward trying to crack jokes + has a (correct) feeling that most of her ‘stories’ from her teenage years would horrify Heather and Cyrus

Frankie - she’s been very cagey about details about her personal life in-game, but I am very excited for her to tell the story about when a horse kicked her and broke 3 ribs when she was like 8

Could they be considered lazy?

Astrid - definitely not. this girl would not know how to relax if you paid her

Frankie - if she’s stoned? yes. (she self medicates)

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

Astrid - hard, but she also doesn’t seek validation from other people. A pep talk from her two favorite work parents would probably go a long way (which is probably a small reason why she doesn’t ask for that from them, since she’s a little self-punishing)

Frankie - easy enough throughout the day when she’s busy, but feelings like that tend to come for you when things get quiet

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

Astrid - not used to people coming to her bc they’re excited, usually ppl come to her w/ Problems, but she’d be very supportive, if a bit awkward

Frankie - VERy supportive, 10/10, will get extremely invested for your sake

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

Astrid - she sought it out with her ex Charlie, initially, when they were teenagers, and has been kind of closed off ever since, aside from the occasional one night stand here and there. Even those, she waits for it, though. Having your ex kick you out and try to hurt you does a number on the ol’ self esteem. She’s not really interested in romance currently

Frankie - doesn’t seek it out at all except in a purely sexual context when she’s bored (w/ others strictly looking for the same) bc she doesn’t feel like she’s got enough time left to give to someone right now. Also, genuinely, she’s got some self esteem issues as well and can’t fathom someone wanting her for more than just one night

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

Astrid - nope, not at all. If she did she would have gotten a lot better grades in middle school/early high school (she dropped out like freshman year)

Frankie - she just writes everything down in a notebook

What memory do they revisit the most often?

Astrid - the night that Charlie told her to get lost and then tried to kill her. She hasn’t come to terms with it yet.

Frankie - the last time she saw her parents. When her dad lost his temper and said “If you’re gonna walk out that door then don’t come back” and she, in all of her 18 year old stubbornness, followed directions to the letter. She had a good relationship w/ her dad, they’re both just stubborn and stupid. she wishes she could have repaired things sooner

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

Astrid - extremely easy, she doesn’t exactly see herself as having a leg to stand on.

Frankie - easy, everyone fucks up, she’s more interested in communication and willingness to make things better than she is in perfection

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

Astrid - EXTREMELY sensitive

Frankie - fairly sensitive, she’s very self aware of her shortcomings but stays quiet about them since most of them are really only apparent to her

How do they feel about children?

Astrid - loves kids, terminal big sis syndrome. will never want her own bc she’s terrified of fucking up and thinks she would make a bad mom

Frankie - likes kids, once again doesn’t rlly think about them as being a possibility for her. When she’s cured and ready to start considering a future (the gm isn’t gonna kill her i trust her too much we’re just in this for the angst) i think she’ll really want children, she’d consider it a privilege to raise a child. Also she’d be the perfect dad joke lesbian

How badly do they want to reach their end goal?

Astrid - she went from a lonely thief to a superhero being slowly reunited w/ her family, plus she’s made a new kind of family in the process. All she wants is to find her baby brother right now, and she’ll do anything to make sure he’s safe and sound.

Frankie - so bad it hurts. what started out as her being purely scared of dying has also quickly turned into her wanting to live and stay more with these people she’s met.

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

Astrid - “Girls.”

Frankie - “Haha, why, you interested? *winks*” (but also lesbian as well)

[suthoughts]

The Future of Steven Universe

Since Change Your Mind aired both myself and other fans have found themselves asking, what’s next for Steven Universe? With corruption cured and the apparent destruction of Homeworlds cast system where else is there to go?

In this post I’m going to talk about what I think is next for Steven Universe, looking at the unresolved mysteries and problems, along with characters who still have a story to tell, and the possible aftermath of the last episode.

Unresolved Mysteries:

The Pyramid Temple:

We can deduce from the era 2 diamond insignia on the floor that the Pyramid temple was sent to earth after the war. Why was it sent and what was the meaning of the rather cryptic mural on the ceiling?

Pink Diamonds Creation:

The drawings Steven looked at during Familiar seemed to be depicting Pink Diamonds creation. Was there any reason why she was created? One of the drawings seemed to depict a Geode, is there any connection to the Geode on Earth.

Lion’s Chest:

We’ve gone back to feeling like we have a much more solid grasp on Roses life again, however this chest remains unexplained. What’s in there and why did Rose want to keep it locked away somewhere so secure that it couldn’t even be accessed after her death? Where is the key now?

The origins of Pearl:

The fandom is currently divided between those who believe our Pearl was created by the other Diamonds as a replacement Pearl for Pink, and those who believe she once belonged to White Diamond. Either way, what made the Diamonds give her a new Pearl if she got the last one taken away for ‘bad behaviour’?

Pink Pearl’s Missing Eye:

How and why did Pink Pearl lose her eye? The fact that the first thing she does is feel where her left eye used to be while she asks what happened suggests that her eye was still there when she was ‘bleached’ by White. Is it a result of being under Whites control for so long or did something else happen?

Jungle Moon:

The planet that orbits the Jungle Moon was destroyed, and not in the way that you get from colonisation. What happens here?

White Diamond:

Why did White Diamond know so much? Not just about the fact that Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond were the same person, but she also knew a lot about organic terminology (such as mother and child). Why did she believe she was supposed to be perfect and how did she come into existence?

Unresolved Problems:

The Human Zoo:

Both the bubbled Rose Quartzes and the Zoomans need to be dealt with.

The Zoomans present the problem of being not only content with their captivity but completely unable to survive outside of the zoo. Even beyond the complexities of the human world they’re going to need to be taught a lot of things that most people wouldn’t even need telling due to their upbringing. They currently have all the fear and common sense of a baby and have to be taught not to just walk into the sea or run into the road. Also, given how they coped with rejection, how will they respond to things like hunger?

The Bubble Rose Quartzes have a simpler solution of just unbubbling them with the knowledge they won’t Immediately die, however there are still complications regarding their release. Regardless of the way individual Rose Quartz may feel about having been bubbled for goodness knows how long (which presents a whole other set of problems) they still have to be filled in on a LOT of Gem history and, most importantly, relocated.

The Resource Crisis and Gem Reproduction:

Homeworld is still in the middle of a resource crisis, likely brought on by the unsustainable way they have of producing more gems. Sooner or later the Homeworld will run dry, and sooner or later the Diamonds are going to want to colonise another planet and, in the process, wipe out all the life from it.

Shattered Gems:

Shattered gems have a degree of consciousness, not enough to truly alive, but enough to suffer. Ideally a way would be found to free them from their gemstones and let them move on.

Characters:

Bismuth:

Bismuth has just been reunited with her closest friends, however for a very long time her existence revolves entirely around the war to the extent that her ‘purpose’ was making weapons for the rebels to fight with. While the construction of the house is keeping her busy at the moment how will she adjust to the life of a civilian and how will she handle rubbing shoulders with gems like Jasper or Nephrite, who used to be her enemy?

Lapis:

Now that she’s stopped isolating herself Lapis’s character can begin to grow. At the moment she feels she’s the only one who can’t ‘let go’ of her trauma, something that (given that the episode after she said this saw us journeying into Pearls repressed war memories) is obviously untrue. What Lapis needs is constructive coping techniques that don’t involve lashing out at those around her.

While Steven and Peridot meant well they both have a tendency to blame themselves for situations outside of there control and were scared of hurting Lapis further. Now however, as part of the main group, Lapis will have to interact with Pearl (who knows what it’s like to be treated like an object, and used to have a very similar way of dealing with her feelings) and Garnet (who while being kind and supportive will let Lapis know when she goes too far).

There’s also the matter of her back story. Now that we finally know about Pearls life on Homeworld she is now, officially, the Gem we know the least about. It’s also important to note that, other than Lapis, every other part of her origin story was a silhouette, something that has been repeatedly used (for instance in Your Mother and Mine) when a story doesn’t quite match reality.

Peridot:

Peridots relationship with Lapis was stifling. In my opinion this came partly from the fact that she had no idea how to support someone like Lapis, and partly from the fact that, during conflict, she assumes she’s the one in the wrong.

During her ‘redemption arc’ she was the main source of conflict, due to (generally out of ignorance) saying hurtful things to the Crystal Gems. She spent a lot of time being taught the correct way to behave. Before the revelation that Rose was Pink Diamond she never saw conflict between the Crystal Gems and may have assumed it had only happened because of her ignorance. If this is the case then the next step for Peridot is trusting her feelings and realising that sometimes other people make mistakes too.

Jasper:

There’s a lot of story potential for Jasper, from her origins in the Beta Kindergarten to the revelation that the Gem who took everything from her and her beloved Diamond were the same person. The cast system she absolutely believed in is now suddenly gone and she’s suddenly got nothing to fight and therefore, no purpose. Does Jasper even know that the Famethyst are still alive and at the zoo? Then there’s her whole negative experience with fusions to consider, along with the negative way she views herself.

Nephrite:

I’ve already made a post about Nephrite and what I believe to be her backstory so I’ll just write a summary here: Nephrite was considered something of a failure on Homeworld and, despite being persistent believes that she can do nothing right. If I’m right then she story will likely be about her, not only dealing with the trauma of corruption, but learning to believe in herself. It could also possibly give us information on how planets are scouted out.

Rhodonite and the Rutile Twins:

Out of all the off colours Rhodonite is the one who seems the least comfortable with her existence, ranging from telling Garnet that they should all be ashamed to occasionally correcting herself when she starts to talk about herself as one person instead of two. The Rutile Twins self loathing seems to be a little more subtle but they seem to have a similar dislike of their body as Amethyst and Peridot once had.

Jade and the Zircons:

Last seen poofed by Yellow Diamond we don’t know where they are or what happened to them.

Lars and Sadie:

What’s going to happen now Lars is back home. Both he and Sadie have grown as more independent people during his absence, will they still be able to connect with each other or have they grown apart?

The Aftermath:

Pearls:

While the cast system has been destroyed and all the gems are now no longer obliged to fall into their specific rolls, are the Pearls free? They are treated as objects by Homeworld and, as such, the Diamonds may have not mentally included them in the liberation. Even if they were included how willing would members of the elite be to give up their Pearls? In fact, if the theory about Rose accidentally breaking her Pearl is true, can Pearls even be given their freedom?

Former Corrupted Gems:

Did any of the gems go back to Homeworld with the Diamonds, and if so how many? Either way that’s a lot of gems who now have to find a place to live. Given Homeworlds mentality towards off colours how are they all going to cope with the fact that, with their new appearance, that is basically what they have become.

Homeworlds Off Colours:

As we’ve seen from Lars’s crew among others, the conform or die oppression the Homeworld off colours have faced have left them with a lot of issues. Even ‘acceptable’ off colours like Peridot were left feeling resentful towards themselves after being dressed up with lim enhancers to look like ‘real’ gems. Homeworlds mentality will not have changed in one go and there will be those who remain hidden out of fear, or out of a refusal to accept themselves. There may also be those who are (rightfully) angry about their oppression and want revenge for how they’ve been made to live.

The Former Elites:

Now we reach those I consider most likely to be the future antagonist of Steven Universe. While there will doubtless be elite gems who embrace the change there will be those who do not. Those like Aquamarine, who like their power over others and aren’t willing to let it go. A lot of people think the Gem shown in the film trailer is Morganite, the former owner of Rhodonite’s components, and if that’s the case, the deconstruction of the cast system, along with her views on thing like cross gem fusion would give her a motivation to start (or at least join) a revolution.

Middle and Lower Class Gems:

Gems who are not members of the elite, particularly low class ones like Pearls and Rubies, have problems regarding their own individuality and desires. They’ve always been treated as one of many identical and indistinguishable copies. As we’ve seen from both Ruby and Pearl, the affect of Homeworld on a gems individually can take a long time to lose its hold.

Then there are the gems like Holly Blue Agate, who have spent their lives sucking up to those above them and kicking those below. How will they cope with the changes? If there is a revolution I can see at least some of them joining in an attempt to get more power for themselves.

I can also see some lower class gems deciding to join, either in an attempt to secure some of the power that had been denied to them, or out of fear of freedom.

[altviktcrr]

『MAXENCE DANET-FAUVEL ❙ NONBINARY』 ⟿ looks like VIKTOR SAMUELS is here for HIS/THEIR SENIOR year as a VISUAL ARTS student. HE/THEY are 24 years old & known to be OBSERVANT, INGENIOUS, RETICENT & DEPENDENT. They’re living in NOLAND, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ JAMES. 20. EST. SHE/THEY.

hllo ,,, again ,,, this is my last child i SWEAR ,,, at least fr now ,,, hes also the most problematic one ,,, the most dramatic ,,, one of my absolute faves ,,, pleathe love him. as always if u wish to plot please like this so i can msg u !!!

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

aesthetic.

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts, graveyards and half-empty wine bottles, sitting there for hours and talking to nothing, about nothing, a god complex, gold rings adorning both hands, barbwire baseball bats, having never played baseball in your life, deep eyebags and broken mirrors, a permanent chip on one’s shoulder, yearning, longing, wishing.

basic info.

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′1″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: pansexual uwu

pinterest

stats

inspired by: beetlejuice (beetlejuice), sid (toy story), jack sparrow (pirates of the caribbean), francis wilkerson (malcolm in the middle), azula (avatar: the last airbender), vicky (the fairly oddparents), stu macher / billy loomis (scream), marshall lee (adventure time), bojack horseman (bojack horseman), any it’s always sunny character :/

biography.

born to mama and papa (preacher) samuels in rochester, new york - fifteen minutes after his twin sister, tatiana samuels. years later, rosa samuels joined the gang. 

was an awkward, quiet kid growing up, he didn’t interact well with others and preferred being left alone to dig up worms and draw on the walls of their childhood home. the only exception was his twin, really.

as he got older he grew out of this, but instead became like ... sort of an asshole? maybe to compensate for years of childhood awkwardness. he’s the sort of person who will bite the hand that feeds him & developed into a full time nuisance by middle school, unlike tatiana who was much more subtle about her conniving manners.

always has been a fan of ‘darker’ materials. grim & creepy morbid shit. probably the biggest tim burton fan, ever since he was a kid ... not a good look for a preacher’s son, but he never really felt ‘in’ with the rest of his family to begin with. classic black sheep syndrome.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid that probably prompted one or two or five phone calls home to assure everything was fine. 

just really had a knack for art at a young age, from drawing to painting to playing with clay. it’s always been his Thing and probably is the only thing he’s good at.

being twins with tatiana was hard. they were near opposite besides both being quite mean-spirited. tatiana handled being in public better, left a better image behind - but viktor had talent, more than she did. they loved each other deeply - y’know, those unbreakable twin bonds as cliche as it sounds - but found each other as competition for their parents’ attention. a rivalry for affection.

in high school is when viktor really started to act out. it started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service & almost had an exorcism performed on him.

his only redeemable trait was like ... just his sheer talent in the arts. was in a 3D art AP course and specialized in sculptures. he could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because he was the problem child, the one who deserved to be disciplined for all his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with whatever she wanted much easier. on the bright-side, for her, i guess.

not a very motivated person - wasn’t planning on going to college, much less going to radcliffe but his parents literally wrote & sent his college application for him because they weren’t going to house a deadbeat but had too much heart to kick him out onto the streets. cool!

he’s actually pretty smart but he just doesn’t apply himself. has a minor in english because he didn’t care for an extra course-load, but he’s good at writing & analyzing literature. is going to use it to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s. not for the kids, but because he likes to leave a trail of terror in whatever he does.

has been experimenting with himself since high school but college is where he really had started to crack down on himself. was out as pansexual & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college just ... not to his parents, who don’t really need to know. 

if you asked him if he believed in twins having a psychic connection with each other - he’d tell you he wouldn’t know. it felt believable at times, but sometimes he had no idea what was going on inside of tatiana’as head. on the other hand - viktor had always felt oddly transparent to her, like she knew all of his moves before he did. the only person who could predict him accurately.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

when tatiana disappeared, viktor knew something was up. it was a twist in his gut, pure instinct that something wasn’t right. and it wasn’t right - and when she was proclaimed missing, they couldn’t find her.

and when tatiana died - viktor knew. it felt wrong, something cut so severely in him he could pinpoint her death to the second. he didn’t know how, or why, but he knew it. knew it before anybody else had.

afterwards he went on a sort of bender. he’d begun to struggle with a mild drug addiction late senior year of high school / early college, but he was managing it up until this point. 

his mental health had also sunk to an all-time low, when it’d never been great to begin with. (manic & depressive episodes. once fixated on a sculpting project for six months and then knocked it off the table and destroyed it as soon as he finished it for no apparent reason.)

tatiana’s body wasn’t found immediately, and when it was ... viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing & being hospitalized. spent six months in & out of psychiatric care after that.

came back to radcliffe to finish his senior year because ... for the reasons above, he hadn’t been able to complete it. just wants to get his credits and get out of here.

is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief, especially since the one year anniversary of tatiana’s death was this month (january) - causes him to spiral and be unpredictable in regards of his mental health. he stopped taking his medication, so. :/ some days are alright, other days are pretty bad.

personality.

the human embodiment of a gremlin that was fed after midnight. a goblin, if you will. one of those cats with a narrow head and really big ears ... that’s them!

a big horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies & probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than they should because they just ... love those black & white vertical-striped pants. 

can appreciate the lore & cryptids at radcliffe and likes to feed into the fear that surrounds them. is probably the cause of a few ‘anomalies’ and ‘paranormal sightings’ because they’re just ... a jerk.

fashion alternates between e-boy (they would be tiktok famous if they were 17 & didn’t think that a majorly minor based app was weird.), millennial beetlejuice, and goth in a crop top & sweatpants. big fan of crop tops and a big fan of sweatpants. 

they can be really fucking mean? petty, aggressive, a major instigator. will literally spit in your face for little to no reason, you could just look at them the wrong way. the kind of person who will stick their gum into someone else’s hair. other than that? they’re like ... sort of okay. they’re not always mean, just a dick about 90% of the time lmao

like okay yeah they’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except they feel like it and believes it. it’s fine, they’re fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact that they’re probably getting into a fight whenever, considers themself to be a lover and not a fighter but that’a primarily because they fuck a lot. uses it as a coping mechanism, like they’re this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ and it’s ... a Lot. might have a problem with hypsersexuality but they’re not fully aware of it. 

the preacher’s whore son, basically :)

pansexual & nonbinary, switches between he & they pronouns often and without a pattern, but they have such a fragile grip on their identity that you could call them ‘dog-faced bitch’ and they’d turn around like. sup.

vastly impulsive ... like i said, they destroy their own creations for the fun of it. spends all teir money on useless shit, will cheat on someone because they feel like it & likes the thrill, screams into the night sky frequently like a cat in heat.

will also spend months creating useless shit for no reason too. spent six of them sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of them & then took a sledgehammer to it.

they’re very super dramatic. would play the organ at church when nobody was looking after them and service was about to start. would just churn out these super haunting, creepy melodies like they were phantom of the opera. would do the same exact thing at home on their keyboard with the pipe organ setting whenever they got grounded until their parents took it away HBDSJFNGKH

will absolutely not talk about their ‘time away’ because it’s not anyone’s business, not even their own younger sister. still refuses to talk about tatiana’s death, or their mental health, or their addiction (fallen back into it but it hasn’t gotten severe ... yet :/), or anything involving their own emotions.

will just change the topic abruptly, no warning. asks about the jonas brothers instead and they fucking hate the jonas brothers.

that being said they’re absolutely not over tatiana’s death & it’s to the point of obsession over it. like there’s some kind of secret that needs to be uncovered, even though there just. isn’t. tatiana was their rock and they were pretty much dependent on her. kept them grounded. could control them when nobody else could, got into their head easier than others. it’s sort of like rosa lost two siblings that day because viktor hasn’t been the same since.

emotionally unavailable while also crying twice a day. cries during their brawls but still wins. is stony-faced when they tell you they cheated on you with your much hotter best friend.

will tell you straight up what they want from you, no bullshit & no beating around the bush. just blunt. if they want to fuck, nothing else, then that’s it. if they feel deviation or developing feelings then they’ll ghost in less than a second. is awful like that but feels no shame.

but also emotional as shit and it’s confusing. will cry on a whim and then flip you off if you try to console them or ask them what’s up. will bite you.

they go to therapy but they just fuck around and wastes their therapists’ time ... also is fucking their therapist, but that’s neither here nor there. so they’re not really getting the help they need.

likes to be intimidating but not ... with their body or anything because they’re a TWIG but uses their love & knowledge of horror and creepy shit to their advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before (also is a big fan of sfx makeup & has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids around with a chainsaw without the chain on halloween every year.

generally never doing good, both mental health wise & morally. would probably steal candy from a baby for funsies.

i don’t know if there’s a good to them somewhere deep down, but they don’t see any issues with themself either. nothing really breaks through to them anymore because the only person who ever made them stop and think about their actions was tatiana, and well, y’know. :/

an introverted reclusive type who doesn’t like most people or going out, but does so anyway if it means a quick high & a cheap thrill.

pretty observant and likes to analyze people even though they’re often like ... partially wrong. judgmental because they like to make people feel bad, not because they’re a righteous mighty person. because they’re not. so like, a hypocrite!

wanted connections.

a roommate... but it’s an absolute nightmare to live with him.

enemies... because viktor would have a lot of them...

familiar faces... people who knew tatiana or of her / were her friends. maybe even those who dated her, and who viktor would’ve tried to intimidate / scare at any given chance :/

pitiful glances... people who take pity on viktor and he hates it sooo much.

hooligan gremlin kids... just a friend group of grown ass adults who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers.

high school girlfriend... probably the one he lost his virginity to inside his family church :/

childhood acquaintances... people who knew him from his youth.

exes... good & bad terms, but mostly bad terms because viktor is an actual demon. probably cheated on them.

soft... i don’t know if he’s soft towards anyone and/or is capable of it but we can try. we can try.

unrequited... either viktor just doesn’t like them or he’s holding back because he’s :/ got issues with relationships & is self-sabotaging as one does

enemies with Tension... of the ... spicy kind if you know what i mean. wink.

friends... old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. i don’t know how many he had but if your muse likes to cause a ruckus and fuck shit up then viktor’s your man.

hook-ups... current or old. friends with benefits, one night stands, anything and everything because he fucks around a lot.

ride or die... friendship but make it extreme.

bad influence... he’s just toxic to be around and brings out the worst in people :/

bad egg... he’s gotten into a few fights :/ maybe you witnessed it. maybe you were in it.

literally anything i wld love all sorts of plots.

[viktcrr-alt]

MAXENCE DANET FAUVAL / NONBINARY — don’t look now, but is that viktor samuels i see? the 24 year old visual arts student is in their senior year and he/they are a rochester alum. i hear they can be observant, ingenious, reticent and dependent, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he/they will make a name for themselves living in garcia row. ( james. 20. est. she/they. )

LAST INTRO WOOOO !! u know what to mf DO !!

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

a e s t h e t i c s

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts.

general info !!

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′0″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: uuuhhh god … probably pan tbh

pinterest

stats

biography !!

okay so … born and raised in rochester, new york to the well known samuels family. preacher father, a mother, a twin sister born 15 minutes before him - aka tatiana samuels, who died back in january.

kinda … grew up as a really awkward, quiet kid? like … just didn’t really interact with other kids super well, preferred being alone and like … digging up bugs in the dirt. only friend was like … his own sister.

grew out of this as they got older, instead sort of … becoming a bit of a dick? to compensate for years of awkwardness? will bite the hand that feeds him. was a full on nuisance by middle school. tatiana was not, at least, noticeably.

has always been a fan of darker materials, y’know - grim and creepy, morbid shit. big fan of tim burton ever since he was a kid, which isn’t … a good look for a preacher’s son, but he’s never really felt ~in~ with the rest of his family, anyway.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid probably tbh that prompted one or two or five phone calls home 2 assure everything was fine.

has always been really … good at art, in general - from drawing to painting to playing with clay, that’s always been viktor’s Thing.

aNyWaYs. being tatiana’s twin brother was kinda hard sometimes. tatiana and him were near opposites besides their same mean-spirited trait. she was better in the public than he was, but viktor was arguably more talented than tatiana. they both loved each other deeply and found each other as competition for their parents’ attention - a rivalry, of sorts.

high school is when viktor really started to act out - started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service. almost had an exorcism performed on him, probably.

the only redeemable trait was like … his sheer talent with art. was in a 3d art AP course, specialized in sculpting - could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because his parents would be focused on disciplining him for his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with stuff easier. so like, y’know, that’s on the bright-side of things.

never been particularly motivated to do much - wasn’t planning on attending lockwood but his parents kinda … did and sent in his application for him b/c they were Not on board with him Wasting Away (wanted him out of the house asap)

actually pretty smart !! just doesn’t like … want to apply himself ever. double majoring in english and visual arts because they’re like … two of his only interests :/ plus he wants to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s

he’d been experimenting since high school but college is where he really started to like … crack down on himself and figure himself out. was out as pan & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college, just … not to his family, necessarily. thinks tatiana always knew, but didn’t … really use it against him, blessedly enough

always felt like the whole twin - connection thing was … both wack and also not-wack? sometimes it felt believable but sometimes he had no idea what was going on in tatiana’s head. but he felt oddly transparent to her, always - like he was predictable to no one but her.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

but when tatiana disappeared - it was like, like viktor knew. the moment she had been kidnapped - felt something deeply wrong in his gut. and when tatiana died - viktor felt something cut so severely in him. he knew, he always knew exactly when. he couldn’t put his finger on how - but he knew. even when everybody else held out hope for her to be found - he knew.

went on a bender around the same time, had always struggled w/ drug addiction but it got worse the longer tatiana went without being found.

( also struggled heavily with his mental health, too ?? has manic and depressive episodes. will fixate on a sculpting project for six months and then purposely knock it off the table and destroy it in the matter of seconds once it’s finished for. no fucking reason. impulse spends A Lot. )

when her body was found, viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing and being hospitalized where he spent the next like … however long months … until they deemed him better.

has been back since the beginning of fall semester in an attempt to finish his senior year - mostly out of his parents’ insistence that he did, because he very much did not want to. 

is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief, which was only amplified with dean lockwood’s death - causing him to spiral and be unpredictable with his mental health. some days are good, and some days are very bad.

personality !!

the human embodiment of a gremlin, fed after midnight. a goblin, if u will. one of those cats with a narrow head and big ass ears. that’s him.

b i g horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies. probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than he should. love those vertically striped pants!

fashion alternates between e-boy (would b tik tok famous if he were like … 17), millennial beetlejuice, and like … goth in a crop top and sweatpants. big fan of crop tops. big fan of sweatpants.

he can be fucking mean. petty, aggressive, instigator. will literally spit in ur face or no reason. kind of person who’ll stick his gum into other ppl’s hair. other than that he’s like … pretty okay. he’s not always mean, he’s just a dick like … 70% of the time lmao

i mean yeah okay he’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except He Feels Like It And Believes It. it’s fine he’s fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact tht he’s probably getting into fights whenever - considers himself 2 be a lover n not a fighter but that’s just because he Fucks a lot. kind of uses it like a coping mechanism, like he’s this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ may have a problem w/ hypersexuality but it’s nothing he’s fully. aware of.

the preacher’s whore son, basically

like i said he’s pan & nb, switches between he and they pronouns but like … he has such a fragile grip on his identity that u could call him ‘dog-faced bitch’ and he’d turn like hey wassup :)

vastly impulsive, like i’ve mentioned … destroys his own creations 4 the fun of it, spends all his money on useless shit, will cheat on someone bc he feels like it. screams into the night sky frequently, like a cat in heat.

i mean he also creates useless shit for no reason too. spent six months sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of him and then took a sledgehammer to it.

dramatic fuck. used to play the organ at the church like … when no one was looking after him and service was about to start. just these creepy as melodies. would do the same thing at home on his keyboard w/ the organ setting whenever he got grounded until his parents took away his keyboard sadjfkg

won’t talk about his time away b/c it’s not rly anybody’s business but ofc nothing is sacred to the watershed app, y’know, nothing’s private.

still like - he absolutely refuses to talk about tatiana’s death and like, his mental health or his addiction (he’s fallen back into it tbh but it hasn’t gotten bad again … yet) or like … anything involving his own emotions

will literally just change the topic! abruptly, no warning, asks about the jonas brothers instead.

that being said he’s obsessed with tatiana’s death. tatiana was very much a rock for him, kinda dependent on her in a way? just … being there, y’know, kept him grounded.

so he obv became a shepherd bc he wants to know Everything there is abt the app, wants to be deep inside it, wanted to know Who Exactly Killed Tatiana and like … not saying he wants 2 commit murder but :/ yknow. he’s very upset.

emotionally unavailable while also like crying twice a day.

will tell you straight up what he wants from you, no bullshit, no beating around the bush - just blunt. if he wants to just fuck, nothing else, then that’s that. if he feels deviation he’ll ghost in like. less than a second. kinda awful like that! feels no shame.

but like … also is emotional ?? as shit ?? it’s confusing. he’ll cry on a whim and then flip u off if u try to console him or like. ask him anything. will bite you.

he goes to therapy but he generally fucks around and wastes most of the time until the therapist threatens to like … idk what therapists r allowed to threaten. to send him off to another therapist? idk.

likes being intimidating but like … not with his body or nothing ‘cos he’s a TWIG, but like … uses his love for horror n creepy shit to his advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before.

( also a big fan of sfx makeup, has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids with a chainsaw (w/o the like … chain … or w/e … so it’s not actually Dangerous) around halloween

he’s generally never doing good, both mental health wise and morally.

would probably steal candy from a baby for the fun of it.

i don’t know if there’s a good to him, deep down, and i don’t know if he sees any issues with himself either !! nothing really breaks through to him anymore, the only person who ever really made him stop and Think about his actions was tatiana.

kinda introverted, recluse type who doesn’t rly like most people or going out, but he’ll go to parties if it means he’ll be high as shit.

pretty observant. likes to analyze people even though he’s probably not … fully right.

wanted connections !!

he lives alone currently but like … ex - roommates where viktor was just. a nightmare to live with.

feel like a lot of enemies is also a possibility !! viktor’s messy.

people that like … knew tatiana. dated tatiana, even, and viktor would pretty much try to intimidate / scare them at any given chance :/

close friends of tatiana too

people who hated tatiana but liked viktor. people who hated viktor but liked tatiana

people who take pity on him and he Hates it viciously and vocally.

a band of hooligan gremlin kids who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers even though they’re all early to mid 20s.

the girl he lost his virginity 2 in high school lmao … a distant memory

fellow rochester locals, from church or school or whatever

exes from the past !! good terms and bad terms, but i love bad terms a whole lot mainly b/c viktor’s a jackass.

don’t know if he’s soft towards anybody but we can try. we can Try.

friends, old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. etc. all of it

hookups !! so many hookups. fwbs, one night stands, whatever.

uuhhhh god. i don’t know. im so sleepy rn. people in the same major or similar majors.

maybe a ride or die.

people he’s a bad influence on / an enabler towards / all around toxic for them / each other.

people he’s fought !! people who’ve seen him get into random fights and were like ‘uh wtf’

fellow shepherds !!

literally anything im not picky.

[thistleandthorn-rpg]

Mack's new character!

OOC INFORMATION:

Name/Alias: Mack Preferred pronoun: She/Her Age: 35+ Timezone/Country: CST/US RP Experience: Like a decade at this point Activity Level: On everyday to every other

IC INFORMATION:

Name: Stacey Evans Designation: submissive Age: 23 Birthdate: August 15, 2000 Faceclaim: Sabrina Carpenter Orientation: Pansexual Kinks: bratting, bondage, roleplay, orgies, threesomes, anal, breath play, exhibition Anti-Kinks: Scat, ageplay, petplay

Key Points:

 - Princess attitude   - Family oriented; loves her brothers dearly and is very loyal   - Loves to be the center of attention, whether good or bad.    - Hopeless romantic   - Loves to make videos and animated cartoons - the only time she prefers to be behind the scenes. 

BIO 

Stacey Evans is the epitome of "princess." Living her entire adolescence with a mess of older brothers (plus two twins) set things in motion very early. She had always been well loved and well protected by hardworking parents and older brothers who would do absolutely anything for her. This quickly led to her little princess lifestyle. Her family worked hard to always keep a roof over their head, even when times got really hard for the family. Being one of the youngest, Stacey wasn't one of the siblings who had to or could get a job to help keep things afloat, so she was left to reap the spoils of their hard work. It did, unfortunately, leave her to her own devices on occasion and she spent most of her time doodling and sketching. When she learned she could make these sketches come to life, she became obsessed with making her little cartoons. 

The car accident effected all of them, and Stacey would not be exempt from this. Losing Scotty broke her heart in ways she could never imagine, and watching how it affected Sky made her never want to leave his side. Her cartoons went dark for a while, and she quickly discovered a very dark sense of humor as a way to cope with her heartbreak and pain. She held a little tighter to her remaining brothers, desperate to never feel that pain again. 

As she grew up, Dallas left for school, and a few years later the older boys went their separate ways. Stacey dove head first into her cartoons and drawings, eventually finding a full scholarship to art school. She was all alone at that school, her family spread to the winds at that point, but she was finding her own ways to bring in attention. Her cartoons and videos got a lot of attention, for the dark satire that ended up being more thought provoking than she had planned. People began paying attention and begging her for more, the excitement filling her with attention and seratonin on the regular, and she couldn't get enough. She started finding new ways to grab the attention of others, often finding herself in the middle of groups of students friends, even a teacher or two. She basked in it and found herself always wanting more. 

When word had gotten to her that most of her favorite people ended up in Lima, she knew it was time to get the rest of her life under control. She made her way to Stonewall Prep, was marked submissive, and was ready to move on with the rest of her life. 

BIO QUESTIONS:

What are your feelings about the mark you have received?    - It's fine. I mean, I wasn't overly hoping for a mark in any direction. I'm kind of used to people taking care of me, so it probably tracks, honestly. 

How do your feelings on the system compare to your parents’ feelings on it?   - They support it - i think? I mean, at least mostly. They don't really fight against it or anything at least. But it also wasn't really a big deal in my house either. It just kinda...was? At any rate, I see it the same way. it's important, sure, and I get that, but I don't think I'm ever going to be that obedient submissive. 

Where do you see yourself after you graduate?     - At a big time animation firm somewhere. Or maybe working from home, making cartoons and videos and watching how much everyone loves them. 

How do you feel about authority?   - Meh. I mean, I get that people have authority. I wish it was more earned than it seems to be. But, I guess life doesn't really care what I have to say. 

[viktcrr-archive]

MAXENCE DANET FAUVEL / NONBINARY. — viktor samuels is really making a name for themselves as a tier 3 shepherd. i think that he/they are studying english + visual arts in their senior year at lockwood, living in peregrinis. originally from rochester, new york, viktor is known to be observant & ingenious, but can also be reticent & dependent. — james / 20 / est / she/they.

3/5 !!! once again ... little edits

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

a e s t h e t i c s

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts.

general info !!

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′0″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: uuuhhh god … probably pan tbh

pinterest

stats

biography !!

okay so … born and raised in rochester, new york to the well known samuels family. preacher father, a mother, a twin sister born 15 minutes before him - aka tatiana samuels, who died back in january.

kinda … grew up as a really awkward, quiet kid? like … just didn’t really interact with other kids super well, preferred being alone and like … digging up bugs in the dirt. only friend was like … his own sister.

grew out of this as they got older, instead sort of … becoming a bit of a dick? to compensate for years of awkwardness? will bite the hand that feeds him. was a full on nuisance by middle school. tatiana was not, at least, noticeably.

has always been a fan of darker materials, y’know - grim and creepy, morbid shit. big fan of tim burton ever since he was a kid, which isn’t … a good look for a preacher’s son, but he’s never really felt ~in~ with the rest of his family, anyway.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid probably tbh that prompted one or two or five phone calls home 2 assure everything was fine.

has always been really … good at art, in general - from drawing to painting to playing with clay, that’s always been viktor’s Thing.

aNyWaYs. being tatiana’s twin brother was kinda hard sometimes. tatiana and him were near opposites besides their same mean-spirited trait. she was better in the public than he was, but viktor was arguably more talented than tatiana. they both loved each other deeply and found each other as competition for their parents’ attention - a rivalry, of sorts.

high school is when viktor really started to act out - started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service. almost had an exorcism performed on him, probably.

the only redeemable trait was like … his sheer talent with art. was in a 3d art AP course, specialized in sculpting - could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because his parents would be focused on disciplining him for his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with stuff easier. so like, y’know, that’s on the bright-side of things.

never been particularly motivated to do much - wasn’t planning on attending lockwood but his parents kinda … did and sent in his application for him b/c they were Not on board with him Wasting Away (wanted him out of the house asap)

actually pretty smart !! just doesn’t like … want to apply himself ever. double majoring in english and visual arts because they’re like … two of his only interests :/ plus he wants to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s

he’d been experimenting since high school but college is where he really started to like … crack down on himself and figure himself out. was out as pan & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college, just … not to his family, necessarily. thinks tatiana always knew, but didn’t … really use it against him, blessedly enough

always felt like the whole twin - connection thing was … both wack and also not-wack? sometimes it felt believable but sometimes he had no idea what was going on in tatiana’s head. but he felt oddly transparent to her, always - like he was predictable to no one but her.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

but when tatiana disappeared - it was like, like viktor knew. the moment she had been kidnapped - felt something deeply wrong in his gut. and when tatiana died - viktor felt something cut so severely in him. he knew, he always knew exactly when. he couldn’t put his finger on how - but he knew. even when everybody else held out hope for her to be found - he knew.

went on a bender around the same time, had always struggled w/ drug addiction but it got worse the longer tatiana went without being found.

( also struggled heavily with his mental health, too ?? has manic and depressive episodes. will fixate on a sculpting project for six months and then purposely knock it off the table and destroy it in the matter of seconds once it’s finished for. no fucking reason. impulse spends A Lot. )

when her body was found, viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing and being hospitalized where he spent the next like … however long months … until they deemed him better.

stayed out of school until very recently b/c he just … didn’t want to go back. didn’t want to deal with it. didn’t want to be known as the dead girl’s twin. but then his mom kinda just was like ‘u go back 2 school or god so help me’ n he was like FINE.

so ya !! viktor’s back after being gone since tatiana’s body was found. that’s it, that’s him, a lil glimpse of his life.

trying to finish his senior year b/c he … obviously left before he could.

finding out that it was george who killed tatiana has ultimately ... caused viktor to spiral. his lows are some of his lowest, his highs are ... very high, but very bad. unstable & unpredictable in his actions it’s ... a whole thing :/

personality !!

the human embodiment of a gremlin, fed after midnight. a goblin, if u will. one of those cats with a narrow head and big ass ears. that’s him.

b i g horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies. probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than he should. love those vertically striped pants!

fashion alternates between e-boy (would b tik tok famous if he were like … 17), millennial beetlejuice, and like … goth in a crop top and sweatpants. big fan of crop tops. big fan of sweatpants.

he can be fucking mean. petty, aggressive, instigator. will literally spit in ur face or no reason. kind of person who’ll stick his gum into other ppl’s hair. other than that he’s like … pretty okay. he’s not always mean, he’s just a dick like … 70% of the time lmao

i mean yeah okay he’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except He Feels Like It And Believes It. it’s fine he’s fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact tht he’s probably getting into fights whenever - considers himself 2 be a lover n not a fighter but that’s just because he Fucks a lot. kind of uses it like a coping mechanism, like he’s this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ may have a problem w/ hypersexuality but it’s nothing he’s fully. aware of.

the preacher’s whore son, basically

like i said he’s pan & nb, switches between he and they pronouns but like … he has such a fragile grip on his identity that u could call him ‘dog-faced bitch’ and he’d turn like hey wassup :)

vastly impulsive, like i’ve mentioned … destroys his own creations 4 the fun of it, spends all his money on useless shit, will cheat on someone bc he feels like it. screams into the night sky frequently, like a cat in heat.

i mean he also creates useless shit for no reason too. spent six months sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of him and then took a sledgehammer to it.

dramatic fuck. used to play the organ at the church like … when no one was looking after him and service was about to start. just these creepy as melodies. would do the same thing at home on his keyboard w/ the organ setting whenever he got grounded until his parents took away his keyboard sadjfkg

won’t talk about his time away b/c it’s not rly anybody’s business but ofc nothing is sacred to the watershed app, y’know, nothing’s private.

still like - he absolutely refuses to talk about tatiana’s death and like, his mental health or his addiction (he’s fallen back into it tbh but it hasn’t gotten bad again … yet) or like … anything involving his own emotions

will literally just change the topic! abruptly, no warning, asks about the jonas brothers instead.

that being said he’s obsessed with tatiana’s death. tatiana was very much a rock for him, kinda dependent on her in a way? just … being there, y’know, kept him grounded.

so he obv became a shepherd bc he wants to know Everything there is abt the app, wants to be deep inside it, wanted to know Who Exactly Killed Tatiana and like … not saying he wants 2 commit murder but :/ yknow. he’s very upset.

emotionally unavailable while also like crying twice a day.

will tell you straight up what he wants from you, no bullshit, no beating around the bush - just blunt. if he wants to just fuck, nothing else, then that’s that. if he feels deviation he’ll ghost in like. less than a second. kinda awful like that! feels no shame.

but like … also is emotional ?? as shit ?? it’s confusing. he’ll cry on a whim and then flip u off if u try to console him or like. ask him anything. will bite you.

he goes to therapy but he generally fucks around and wastes most of the time until the therapist threatens to like … idk what therapists r allowed to threaten. to send him off to another therapist? idk.

likes being intimidating but like … not with his body or nothing ‘cos he’s a TWIG, but like … uses his love for horror n creepy shit to his advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before.

( also a big fan of sfx makeup, has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids with a chainsaw (w/o the like … chain … or w/e … so it’s not actually Dangerous) around halloween

he’s generally never doing good, both mental health wise and morally.

would probably steal candy from a baby for the fun of it.

i don’t know if there’s a good to him, deep down, and i don’t know if he sees any issues with himself either !! nothing really breaks through to him anymore, the only person who ever really made him stop and Think about his actions was tatiana.

kinda introverted, recluse type who doesn’t rly like most people or going out, but he’ll go to parties if it means he’ll be high as shit.

pretty observant. likes to analyze people even though he’s probably not … fully right.

connections to the victims !!

tatiana samuels / his twin sister, other half - the only one able to control viktor.

george craig iii / close family friends ... they could appreciate each other, when viktor wasn’t being an outright asshole.

hana williams / ‘friends’ with benefits, their relationship was rocky at best but she was a good lay. have often fought due to their clash in personalities and viktor’s history with christoph.

christoph wainwright / an ex-hook up, an infrequent occasion whenever christoph wanted to tick off hana. viktor was often on board, never the one to consider others’ feelings.

wanted connections !!

he lives alone currently but like … ex - roommates where viktor was just. a nightmare to live with.

feel like a lot of enemies is also a possibility !! viktor’s messy.

people that like … knew tatiana. dated tatiana, even, and viktor would pretty much try to intimidate / scare them at any given chance :/

close friends of tatiana too

people who hated tatiana but liked viktor. people who hated viktor but liked tatiana

people who take pity on him and he Hates it viciously and vocally.

a band of hooligan gremlin kids who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers even though they’re all early to mid 20s.

the girl he lost his virginity 2 in high school lmao … a distant memory

fellow rochester locals, from church or school or whatever

exes from the past !! good terms and bad terms, but i love bad terms a whole lot mainly b/c viktor’s a jackass.

don’t know if he’s soft towards anybody but we can try. we can Try.

friends, old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. etc. all of it

hookups !! so many hookups. fwbs, one night stands, whatever.

uuhhhh god. i don’t know. im so sleepy rn. people in the same major or similar majors.

maybe a ride or die.

people he’s a bad influence on / an enabler towards / all around toxic for them / each other.

people he’s fought !! people who’ve seen him get into random fights and were like ‘uh wtf’

fellow shepherds !!

literally anything im not picky.

[explosionsstimsandtech]

Octavio Is Live: And Drunk ||Octane On Loss||

||Welcome, Octavio Silva, you are now streaming. Say hello!||

The cheery words had Octane seething as he fixed his camera, dropping back into his super plush beanbag chair, grinning up at the camera and giving his signature rock sign.

“What’s uuup. Another drunken stream! Whoo!” he threw his hands up, yelping as some beer got on him with the motion, whining as he wiped it off.

Prior to the stream, he had three shots of tequila, this being his sort of way of tracking his thoughts. He could do holo logs or a diary, but he liked to be transparent, even if it hurt like a bitch.

He knew his experiences helped people, so why not give them this chance to see him with all his guards down, mask and goggles at his neck, looking like he just touched down from his recent solo win.

And he looked like hell.

“So! First question is the hot topic for this stream, choose wisely, amigos!” he grinned, because that was all he knew to do, to hide and protect himself.

The computer registered the first line of text with a little question mark beside it, and his heart sank instantly as he bit his lip, taking a long swig of his beer then sighed.

“Way to hit home, amigo, I’m sorry.” he sounded pained as he shifted, smile wavering.

“Miroctaneluver101 says; Hey, good game. I’m sorry, I hope this doesn’t get the top, but I’m honestly kinda feeling down in the dumps. I just lost my grandfather and I’m honestly feeling like life isn’t worth it. He was everything, the one thing to hold me up, to make me proud. The only person in my family to understand me. Have you dealt with loss, and if so, what do you do to cope?” his voice was shattering as he read the message, cursing as he rubbed at his face, ridding himself of the tears as he stood, walking off camera with a tiny sound of pain.

He kicked something, watched it burst across the stream and into the other side, off screen, to clatter against the wall. He returned with a tall glass of scotch this time, dropping into his seat with a sigh. He could see a billion messages of support to the person and worried comments to him, to which he took a swig and licked his lips.

“Where to get started, huh? First of all, please don’t kill yourself. You have so much to live for! Your life has just begun!” he set the drink down, leaning forward into his ‘Serious Papi Octavio’ mode, twin coloured eyes hard as they looked right into the camera.

“You are amazing as you are. I am sure your abuelo would be so proud of you.” he felt the tears and blinked them away, firm and sharp in his resolve. “If anyone says otherwise, tries to tell you to change, that you’re not worth it, fuck ‘em! They aren’t worth your time, your breath, your attention nor your life. Get rid of them, right away.” he flopped back, fetching his drink on the way down, with a huff, sinking into the plush embrace.

“As for loss? Not talking games here for a lightening effect, but... My great grandfather, Fuego Silva.... The only Silva I cared for... He was... Everything to me.” he looked to his glass, turning it over as he swallowed hard.

“Growing up... Well, you’ve seen what I could show you, the first camera, the first vlog? Was because of Fuego.” he smiled now, taking a swig of the amber liquid. “He loved it. Loved getting to see me as much as he could, even when he was away... He used to fight, god, it feels like an eternity now.” he laughed as he remembered back to the past.

“I told him I wanted to be a star, and he gave me this rinky dinky little thing, shit focus, terrible memory and even worse pixelage. Like we are talking using a potato for a camera would be better!” he chuckled, grinning into the glass. “But Fuego always loved it, would send it to him on the fringes of space in his vessel, so he’d have something to wake up to, something to pump him up.” he ran a hand through his hair as he laid back, splayed out for his fans to see.

“Mr and Mrs Silva were always... They weren’t great. It’s why I was taken into the Diablo Del Alma’s so early on in life. I remember the day I broke the camera. I was doing a dumb stunt, jumping off a roof, something small. I landed on it, and it broke rather than my arm. Fuego was grateful I wasn’t hurt, but my heart was broken. That was my camera, and a gift from him.” he felt the tears itch at his eyes, so he just closed them, lifting his head to take a long swig before returning to his slumped position.

“I remember the whole crew pitched in to get me a top of the line model, fit with different lens options and even slow motion at the flick of your eyes. It even had a high quality stabiliser built in that could be turned off. They almost didn’t make it, but Fuego pitched in the last hundred and said ‘to my rising star’, even engraved it on a panel on it himself.” he jolted, snapping up and scrambling around, finding the camera and returned, holding the piece up to show his fans, the intricate designs around the words written in both English and Spanish.

He then dropped into the chair with his camera in hand, tracing the words.

“He was there from day one... Even when he was out fighting... Everytime he came home, we livestreamed, made videos, we did everything together. He was practically my padre.” he smiled and sighed, hugging the camera as he laid back. “He would always say, ‘Octavio Silva. Siempre debes recordar esta frase. Nunca te rindas y nunca te rindas.‘ Always remember this phrase, never give up and never give in.” he closed his eyes again, living in the memories, even as they brought tears to his eyes.

“He used to tell me if I dreamed it I could do it. Pushed me beyond my limits. Even gave me my first tattoo!” he flapped his arm, a bright grin on his face. “I was so scared, but he said the words as he started, and it’s been my mantra. It’s why I never give up, no matter how helpless it is.” he sat up suddenly, looking to the camera in his lap.

“Fuego... He.... He got sick. Like real sick. The last few years, he was in the hospital. I would stream, you guys know this, with him still. He pushed for me to break the record. I knew his time was short, so... I improvised.” he laughed, something hollow this time. “I’m told he died with a proud smile on his face.” the tears were falling now, the pain lancing through him, but he shook his head firmly, wiping them away.

“My last talk, I told him of the Apex Games, of how I longed to be in them, of how it was my dream to have a banner of me! I told him there was no way I’d be able to, and he turned me to him. He told me those words again. I laughed and said ‘maybe after I break this record’. I woke with no legs, and no Fuego. I thought my life was ruined.” he slumped down, then slapped his leg with a huff, running fingers over the intricate metal.

“Ajay Che, she and I go way back. Beautiful woman, but not my type. Too.... Well, you all know I’m a trans gay guy, so... Yeah.” he smiled shyly and idly brushed the engravings. “She heard about everything, asking my Diablo Del Alma Padre what happened recently. When she found me, I was in a wheelchair craddling the helmet he wore, staring at a gravestone in the rain.” his throat threatened to close and he swallowed, taking a shaky breath.

“I still say I guilted her. I just started talking and talking, about the dreams, about my promise to Fuego that nothing would stop me, and now here I was, completely in lockdown.” he wiped his face again with a growl of frustration.

“But the second I got those legs, I was off, even if I fell over at first. I wasn’t going to give up. I had been harassing the nurses with zooming around in the wheelchair.” he laughed at the memory, remembering the laughter in their voices. “So, do I know loss? Yeah, I do. I experience it every time I go into the ring and watch my friends die. I know they are safe, some wicked tech they have in the background, allowing us a second chance... As long as we have something for them to fix.” he laughed and shrugged.

“As for coping? Reach out. You have a whole community here who will hear you out. Go out, and do something for yourself. Write, draw, paint, sing, dance, run, swim, anything, the world is your playground, so play. Hell, I know someone who was tricked into eating a whole cake in one sitting by a personality in their head. They were vomiting for hours, but they chose to live if only to ensure he never got cake again.” he laughed and shook his head.

“It’s hard. Trust me, the first few months are the worst. Then it’s the first couple anniversaries. I take a drink for Fuego on the day he moved up to better things. His favourite. Doing something like that to honour them is never bad. Take pride in your joys, and do them. I know a writer, the same one about the cake thing actually. He suffers from... A lot. Suicide is almost always on his mind, constantly itching at him, making him want to just say ‘fuck it’ and be done. But he finds a keyboard or a pen and paper, and writes instead. It’s messy and all over the place, but he is proud, because he’s survived the wave.” he shifted to look at the camera, tears clear, now done with hiding it.

“And that’s what it is, its waves. And sometimes you need everyone to hold you up over it all, and it’s terrifying to do that. Fuck, I don’t even do it. I usually drink and drown in all the things I shouldn’t do, stand on cliffs, half kicking my landing gear off before I even know what I’m doing. And it fucking sucks because all I want is a fucking hug, to be craddled close, to have my hair smoothed and to be told it’ll be alright.” he tugged at his hair before sighing, smoothing it back.

“But I’m scared to trust, because trust means people can stab you in the back, trust means investing yourself in someone, which means their life is my world. I don’t think I could survive another Fuego.” he took a shaky breath and smiled, something so worn out and tired as he pulled up a holoscreen, swiping through things.

“Believe me. It does get better. Not by much, but it becomes bearable. You find ways to live each day in honour of those we’ve lost, who can’t witness the day. dont beat yourself into the ground and ruin yourself like I have in the past. Remember, you are worth it. And if no one else is gonna say it, then listen to me right now.” he looked to the camera, eyes alight with a fire as he stood up, leaning close so they could see him in the whole monitor.

“I am proud of you. You are amazing and perfect as you are. Non terre plus ultra, and never give up, never give in. You have got this!” he fist pumped the air before sticking his tongue out and giving his signature hand sign.

Then, he dropped back into his seat.

“Go check out the song I’m about to share to the stream. It’s a big pick me up that I use. That and Ska, but that’s a little out there for this moment.” he laughed as he threw up the songs. “It’ll play in a sec. After it, we are doing never have I ever!” he grinned and threw back a swig of the amber liquid, bouncing up to get more booze.

||Octavio Silva Has Shared A Song.... Playing now....|| ||The Stream Will Return Shortly....||

[carousels-on-fire]

If you’re wondering why I haven’t been posting text posts or posting much in general on here anymore, here’s why.  I kind of realized one of the big depression triggers I have just stopped affecting me. I stopped clinging to an old relationship/old friendship when I realized it had always been unequal. Not by any fault of my own, but because that person is only capable of a few close connections at a time and I just wasn’t one of them. I always saw it as proof of my own low worth/value, or proof that I was unlovable, or something of that sort. But then realized, I have friends where...while I care if something happens to them, I don’t keep up with them. I don’t check in on them. We like each other’s facebook posts from time to time, but we’re no longer a big part of each others lives. I never realized this friendship had...downgraded so to speak. I always thought of them as top tier, would die for this person, while they thought of me as ‘person I sometimes hang out with when in town, and sometimes text.’ I think it had always been that way. I loved them so much, so deeply and so intensely, and they liked me but the depth was never the same. My ocean to their teaspoonful of water. But its not their fault, their ocean was for other people.  I’ve always formed intense, one-sided connections, mostly as a way of coping with the extreme loneliness and alienation I feel, even when I’m actively making friends and surrounded by people who like me. That ‘not belonging, not important’ feeling never goes away. Mostly it was with people I liked who didn’t really know or notice me, most often it was band members that I’d become obsessed with, and then with the aforementioned first love/first everything. I think that made it worse. I made it much more than it ever was in my head, because unlike the band members and the unrequited crushes, this was something tangible, something had worked for a moment, something I always thought might work out in the end. And it was always easier to cling to a ‘might be’ than it is to throw yourself into the terrifying world of ‘very likely to be’s’ if I actually put myself out there meeting people rather than projecting these introverted, one sided crushes that had no real hope of working out. But just enough hope that it felt like waiting for something real. I could say it got in the way of a lot of potential relationships, but I don’t think any of them would’ve worked out anyway. I had to make it through this. I had to realize what I was doing and be aware of it. I had to give up on them fully and completely. But I also lost a lot of years of my life to the emotional fallout of that one relationship. I lost a lot of my 20s to depression, and the worst part is...that person who caused a lot of it through sheer obliviousness, will never know. Its not even their fault really, I suppose, this probably would have happened with whoever I happened to end up with first, sparing some perfect match. And, a lot of that depression is most likely due to untreated/undiagnosed ADHD. So I can’t blame them entirely for all of it. I think I was headed down a collision path with all the trauma about my own life that I never confronted. It took a long time to realize my life wasn’t normal and that I wasn’t crazy, and that there were real reasons for how horribly things fell apart during my college years. But I think I reached a point where I realized I was dragging this on and dragging my feet one something I really didn’t want anymore. I realized I didn’t care in that way and wish them their life of happiness that doesn’t include me. I’m not even bitter, I’m indifferent now, and it took a very long time to become indifferent. I realized no one who well and truly cared would let this go on, and now it doesn’t matter. My depression was always dysthymia, triggered by a specific event, and once the event was dealt with in my mind, things got better. It didn’t go away completely, but it felt like a kind of fog lifted.   I mean I still think I’m going to die alone, but I think it’ll be because of lack of opportunity rather than subconsciously ignoring or sabotaging everything in favor of an off-chance. Or because I’m inherently unlovable. (Though I still do kind of think that the sort of woman I go for normally, probably wouldn’t go for me.) I always wanted my life to be like a movie, like a rom com, like a story of a character beating impossible odds. It took a long time to come to terms with my life potentially never being anything more than ordinary. Obscurity. Finding love with someone who’s avererage, rather than ‘epic love story love of your life.’  And that made it much less depressing to come home to an empty twin bed in my parents house, in my teenage bedroom every night, and go to sleep and get up for my average, unromantic, boring, working life. I’m learning to live with my bad choices making everything so much harder for me, and learning to live with how hard I’ll need to work to get out of here.  I’m trying to be nice to people, I’m trying to get along with the people in my environment because I’ve realized no ones coming to save me. No ones coming to make my horrible dull little life something worth living, I’m just going to have to endure until maybe, one day, I save up enough to live somewhere I can be a person. I’m preparing myself for the inevitability that one of my parents has a worsening health problem that will cripple us in a few years. 

I’m trying not to let my bitterness and despair make me an unpleasant person to be around. I used to be a much...happier person. A much more goofy, more cheerful, less guarded, more hopeful person than I am now. I don’t think I can be that person again. I’ve lived too much. But maybe I can make it close. My life isn’t happier. The depression isn’t gone. But I think I’ve stopped caring about the things that used to hurt me so deeply. I’ve stopped waiting for a fairy tale. I’m trying to read as much as I can, because that’s how I coped before when I was a teenager. Its strange, having this second adolescence where I read and draw and I sew and I wait to be allowed to be a person. Except I’m so much more tired.  I’m too tired to interact with anyone. I feel so numb, but I’m not crying about it anymore. I’m just here. Trying.  I also realized no one really reads these, and people feeling bad for me really didn’t help. It just made me feel guilty. So I’ve stopped writing sad posts with the exception of this one. I’m hoping my life will get better, but I’m also not holding my breath. But I’m also not very very slightly in love with the person I thought I was for almost a decade, and honestly, hadn’t been for most of that time. And I’m coming to terms with being older. With never being able to go back to how things were.To not being able to go back to who I was. That the world is a much harsher, darker place. But I don’t want to die nearly as much now. 

[archived--hell]

1, 2, 17, honestly all of them if you’re up to it

1 - already answered 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

L O R D T jupiter fuck man got damn id die for jupiter 

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

i have adopted characters before, but ive never done anything with them, and i have received characters Back from people but besides that nah

4. A character you rarely talk about?

HI PLEASE I BEG OF YOU ASK ABOUT THE GODS PLE AS E IM DYING

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

fuck uh.. honestly if its only semi popular would i do this bc being Well Known would be nice, yeah, but.. it scares me? idk but uh probably leo or aero, theyre two boys i hold close to my heart

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

:) eldur and leo kinda? idk i try not to make any of them look alike rip

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

YES! theyre actually all part of one universe called cooking with demons! i have a whole game planned out for the man cast kinda? but all in all its all set within one universe, with multiple different stories occurring within it jhfdksg

8 - already answered

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

unless specfifically made for them upon request, no. ive already tried that once and it lead to me losing any and all control i had over my characters. At this moment, i only “share” a few ocs with my boyfriend @coffee-burglar and even then, its taken almost a year to even be able to do that

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

uh, all of them are kinda complicated for me, but as of right now, that would go to leos full form. (if u want a ref hmu and ill post it, but it wont be my art)

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

like a ray of sunshine? yeah! angel and stitch would fit perfectly for that!

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

@coffee-burglar their oc chrome n koh,  or derek but thats bc im a hoe

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

aero, jhor, innis, leo are all trouble makers to some degree, leo being the most trouble some

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

uhhhh fuck what counts as tragic?

i guess id have to say leo or jupiter mostly, but eldur fits too

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

if youd let me i would yell about these fucks for hours on end, ive done it

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

the best but wouldnt enjoy it: Jupiterthe best and would absolutely enjoy it: colby

17. Any OC OTPs?

stitch/lavaaero/kohcolby/derek/inniswill/happiness aeyr/Eberictderek/Xhaztolleo/eldur

18. Any OC crackships?

jhfkdfsjghdfkjhgdkfjsgl i never talk abt it but will/aero is fucking A+

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

ah,, leo. i originally made him to project the worst in myself onto, and because of that ive made his life a living shit hole. but,, recently ive been hell bent on giving him a good ending, one where he heals, and lives his life ok, where he finally, finally has a chance to be happy and get help. its,, kind of been a tiny growing point for me? he just, means a lot to me because of that haha

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

uhhh all of their voice claims are songs n such but only a few of them actually sing in canon! heres the voice claims of the ones who do sing:

Aero - thats his voice, but hed probably more likely to sing Something Like ThisAngelStitch - this is her voice! but shed be much more likely to sing something a lot more upbeat, kind of like thisColby (its jeremy from bmc jghfdkg)

and one i dont have a voice claim for yet that does sing canonically is Sycamore! 

21. Your most artistic OC

!!!! oh thatd easily be will! hes nothing professional at all, but he does enjoy drawing and making diy type projects :0c hazels also artistic but with food :0c but what would you expect from a kitchen witch

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

Hi My Names Skinny Penis And No One Has Ever Even Looked At My Ocs For More Than Two Seconds

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

lordt all of them would fit that, but the one thats changed the most? lordy thatd probably be will! he used to be a persona that was mostly only interested in dying and getting fucked, but now hes? evolved into a fully fledged character, and has even changed from being human lmao

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

jupiter, simply because he is The Biggest Comfort i have. hes,,, really important to me and i love him a lot

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

:) its bold of you to assume they dont all resemble me in some way. the most though? damian. lazy motherfucker with 200 emotional issues and no motivation to fix any of them

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

…yeah.

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

Nope, most tend to be born from ideas spawned by me n my bf concepting about my ocs, and what would happen if this thing happened? yknow?

28. Your most dangerous OC?

He has yet to be revealed >:)c his names icarus

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

INNIS, GOD INNIS WOULD AND HED PROBABLY DIE

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

secret: damiannot so secret: colby

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

uHHhhHh 

damian would probably have a very shitty coded blog theme (or default) and would genuinely only reblog shitty, abstract memes, and nice food recipes for hazel to make him

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

protagonist? if youre going for the scared baby, colby. if ur going for the stoic “thats weird but ok” one, innis or aero.antagonist tho???? Leo and angelica :)

33. Your shyest OC?

uh, a oc thats genuinely shy and not just anxiety filled? angel :0c shes had a very limited interaction pool with anything thats not other angels so she tends to shy away from others bc she really, really doesnt want to get into awkward situations

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Jupiter and leo!

35. Any sibling characters?

Jupiter, leo, angelica, damian, eldur

jupiter, leo, damian, and angelica are all related via their dad, while eldur is related to damian via their mom

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

uhh if im understanding this question right yeah i do! derek, koh, n a lot of others belong to @coffee-burglar ! ive just roped them into my universe dkjfhkdjgh

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

Op All Of My Characters Are Inhuman

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

surprisingly? aero! hes got really good rhythm and can actually dance really well, its kinda scary

39. Introduce any character you want

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Ill let yall have a choice, pick one

1.) Lust2.) Greed

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

fond?? uh,, not really. but damian does have a very important memory attached to him.

tw for suicide ment hjgkdfs

with damian, i created him after i tried to kill myself and was stuck in a mental hospital. i had just finished reaing the first shadowhunters book, and decided to try and draw the first demon(???? was that what he was?? im a dumbass and its been over 2 years) you met, which had bright blue hair and if i remember correctly, electric green eyes? but yeah. i made him to cope with all the mental stress i had while being forced to be in that hospital, and hes become very close to my heart because of that

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

!!!!!!!!! yeah!!! my boyfriends drawn damian and most of my characters bgjkfdhgkfdsgl but one i do hold close to my heart (bc at the time, i barely knew them) was when @stuck-in-the-ghost-zone drew aeyr! it made me really happy tbh. i still have it saved to my phone actually!!!

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

uhhhh,,, provided that they found a way to get anything involving earth and their beliefs itd probably be either angel or colby. angel enjoys learning anything and everything she can, while colby enjoys hearing about the Tea™ that comes with greek shit

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

lordt ok

i really just? enjoy making demons really, or anything that doesnt quite fit “conveniently attractive” in at least one form they have. (i also favor making guys bc im Gay)

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

how well theyre coming together, for so long, their stories have been little fractures and pieces that never fit together. Fragments. but now, theyre almost fully put together and its… wonderful to see

45. A character you no longer use?

a hi have.. one. their name was angel aura, a steven universe oc. i got rid of them because of too many.. bad things.

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

not directly, but yes. it.. actually helped me give a lot of them a ok life, or at least a good ending

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

@coffee-burglar eldur, colby, will n a few others lmao

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

ELDUR GOD ELDUR PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE THIS KID BACK TO HIS MOM

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

damian

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

ghjkfgkfdhgklfjhglkjdfhgslfjdgh give me a actual thing to talk about bc im dying op