#thing is that all the overthinking i knew was overthinking

[organic-bloodbath]

Can you write about kang Dae-ho x American reader, that Dae-ho has developed a big crush on the reader but he doesn't know how to respond to it because he's never been ina relationship before and everyone else in the group (except the reader) notices it and tease him about it?

Just admit you like me

Dae-ho x American!Reader

This applies to two different requests i got, the second one being:

"Can write about Dae-ho x American reader that Dae-ho having a crush on reader saves her in the mingle game and once it came down to two players, Dae-ho was able to have an opportunity to admit his feelings to the reader and share their first kiss?"

— Anon

Summary: As above. Dae-ho just being a nervous wreck around you.

A/N: i love this man sm. He's just a bit lost with his feelings here.

☆☆☆

You felt out of place. You were the only non-Asian player here and felt like everyone's eyes were on you whenever you weren't paying attention, though you might have been only imagining things.

You had arrived to Korea to spend your holidays here, you got two weeks off from college and needed to travel somewhere by yourself. Somewhere you couldn't possibly run into anyone you personally knew. Joining a game of life and death for money - a lot of money too - hadn't been on the list of things and places to experience during your stay in this country.

When the first person was shot to death, all you wanted to do was run away like so many other players, but you knew there was nowhere to escape. You felt your body shaking and it was a miracle your movements weren't noticed.

Suddenly, as you started running again, you tripped and lost your balance, falling backwards after some idiot pushed you - intentionally or not. For a second you were sure you were going to die, that was it, your part on the game ended before it had even properly started. Your family would report you as a missing person and would never get you back home or even know what happened to you.

Until you felt someone grab your body behind you. Arms wrapped securely around your waist, keeping you against their chest. The massive doll had turned to face you right at that same second, so you weren't able to stand up and take a better position. This person was fully in charge of holding you up and saving your life in process. The position you were in was extremely uncomfortable.

When you were allowed to move again, this person helped you to stand up again on your own, and you turned around to face him. Now in front of you stood a young man, looking down at you.

"Oh, thank you," you said quietly. "You saved me."

The doll turned around again, freezing you on your place, your head still turned towards the man's face. You had been too slow to react and continue the game.

"You're welcome," the man subtly said between his teeth, trying not to move his lips too much.

Before you started running again, he gave you a sweet smile. In only a few seconds he catched up with you and stayed right in front of you.

"Stay behind me," he said quietly, and you did as you were told.

You ran the rest of the game the same pace as him, not moving anywhere behind him. You were going to be screwed if he was going to be shot and you'd have to jump over his dead body.

But luckily, both of you made it to the end. After reaching the finish line, you walked to the guy who had catched you.

"Hi, um, thank you again," you said nervously. "Without you i'd be dead, i suppose."

"No big deal, glad to help," he smiled.

"I'm Y/N," you said and offered your arm for him to shake.

"Dae-ho," he said with a slight smile, taking your hand in his, which was much bigger than yours.

When he didn't figure out what more to say, you left him to stand there alone and went back inside.

That evening, Dae-ho wanted to approach and talk to you, but he was constantly overthinking what he would say to you. How did you start a conversation with a stranger? With a woman as gorgeous as you?

"Hi, how are you?"

"Good, thanks for asking."

"Okay, great. Bye."

Talking to men, he didn't care what he said to them and if it would mess up the conversation. To you, he would have wanted to make a good impression.

He didn't know what it was about you but when had saved your life during the game and you had turned to look at him and thank him, he was so taken aback by the sight of you for a second he had almost forgotten how to move.

☆☆☆

The next day arrived and you were given 10 minutes to prepare groups of five for the second game. You looked around the room, until your gaze landed on the group which Dae-ho was included.

"Hi, um, could i join your group?" you asked shyly, not knowing who you could rely on. The only person that had spoke to you by far, and helped too, was Dae-ho, and he felt like the safest option to choose. You looked at all three men at the same time, meaning the question to all of them.

"Of course, welcome," Gi-hun said smiling and motioned you to sit down next to him as you waited for the game to start.

You looked towards Dae-ho who only gave you a nod and an awkward smile. One more girl joined the group. She was apparently pregnant, but you all welcomed her with open arms.

When it was your group's turn to play, your feet were linked to each other, your left foot against Dae-ho's.

You rested your hand on Dae-ho's waist, your other hand on Gi-hun's back as well to keep your balance as the five of you started walking forward in total sync between the mini games.

You couldn't see it because you only kept your gaze forward, but every time you pressed your hand on Dae-ho's back, his cheeks turned a little red and his heart started beating faster. And when you let go, he instantly missed your touch.

When you had finished the entire game and could walk on your own again, all of you cheered in excitement for surviving another game. You hugged Gi-hun next to you and then wrapped your arms around Dae-ho, completely startling him.

"We made it," you smiled against his chest and let go.

You didn't think too much of it, you were a people hugger. The hug didn't last longer than couple of seconds, but Dae-ho would think about your touch on his skin until he fell asleep that night.

☆☆☆

"So," Gi-hun started as your group was eating the dinner together after the second game, "what's it like to live in America? Which state are you from?"

"I've been living in California for the past five years, though i was born in Michigan. I moved there for college and really like it there," you explained.

Gi-hun and Young-il asked bunch of questions about your studies, the differences you've noticed between the U.S. and Korea and so on. They told you about places which you must visit before you return to California and you had heard of none of them before, excited to go and see them. Gi-hun especially mentioned one diner you'd have to try.

Dae-ho sat next to you, barely saying anything during the conversation, just looking at you, smile on his face. Your voice was like music to his ears and he could have listened to you talking all day long until you were out of breath.

"Right, Dae-ho?" you asked, turning your face towards him, startling him out of his trance. He hadn't realised he had zoned out and not listened to you for the past couple of minutes.

"Huh?" he breathed out and straightened his back. "Yes, right, exactly."

He had no idea what you had said to him, but in panic he knew he should just agree whatever you were saying.

"See, the Marine guy agrees with me too," you said to Gi-hun and put your hand on Dae-ho's shoulder.

Dae-ho noticed Jun-hee holding her laugh but tried to ignore it. You paid it no attention. When you had turned your face away from Dae-ho, he gave Jun-hee an annoyed look to shut it.

"So, Y/N," Jun-hee started, taking care of the next route in the conversation, giving Dae-ho a subtle, but suggesting grin. "Are you in California by yourself or with someone?"

"Oh, i'm not alone," you said, making Dae-ho's heart drop for a second. "I live with my roommate, Sarah."

"That's nice," Jun-hee said slowly. "There's nobody else, hm, special in your life?"

"Not right now, if you don't count my dog," you chuckled.

Jun-hee winked at Dae-ho when you weren't watching.

Gi-hun and Young-il were talking together about something that didn't interest Dae-ho, and Jun-hee got up to go to the bathroom. That left you and Dae-ho alone, just the two of you for a moment.

"What do you plan to do with the money when we get out?" you asked. "Like, after you've payed off whatever debts you owe, of course."

Dae-ho tried to gather his words together and explained some of his plans to you.

"And you?" he asked.

"Well, i'm not sure yet," you said. "I know i want to travel a lot, maybe spend a year just exploring the world."

"That sounds fun," Dae-ho agreed. "I've always wanted to travel more."

"Maybe you could join me one day," you suggested, smiling.

"Oh, yea, maybe," Dae-ho said and turned his face away from you. He felt his cheeks becoming warmer.

☆☆☆

Next morning, you truly started to feel like Dae-ho was intentionally ignoring you. You had had that feeling ever since the day one. Almost every time you looked at him and your eyes connected for barely a second, he immediately turned his face away and avoided your gaze.

Jun-hee was walking towards the bathroom, but you managed to stop her and pull her to the side.

"Hey, can i ask you something?" you asked quietly, looking around you to see if anyone else would hear you, until turning back to her. "I don't know if i'm just imagining things but is Dae-ho mad at me or something?"

Jun-hee furrowed her eyebrows. "Why do you think that?"

"I don't know, he's seemed to avoid me and i feel like i've made him maybe upset."

"Oh don't worry, he's not mad at you," she chuckled.

You furrowed your brows, confused what might be the problem then. "What is it then? Do you know something?"

Jun-hee was about to say something but shut her mouth before any words were able to leave her lips. "You know, maybe you should just talk to him."

Then, she just hurried away, leaving you by yourself. That was odd.

☆☆☆

"So, Y/L's pretty, isn't she?" a man asked, suddenly appearing next to Dae-ho, startling him. It was player 124 smirking at him, elbows leaning on his knees as he sat down. He had never talked to Dae-ho before, so he was confused for a fair reason.

"What?" Dae-ho mumbled. "I mean, um, sure."

He looked towards you, feeling butterflies in his stomach when he heard your laugh all the way to the spot he was sitting at.

"Do you think i'd have chance with her?" the player 124 asked. "You two are friends, right? Could you ask her what her type is?"

"Her type?" Dae-ho's eyes widened and there was a pitch in his voice. He couldn't watch another man to flirt with you, there was no way.

"Yeah. Like what kind of guy she is into?"

"Well, i don't know. She hasn't talked to me about it," Dae-ho nervously shrugged.

"Okay, so," he started and put his arm around Dae-ho, "you go and ask her and come to speak to me again after the next game, yes?"

"Um, i don't think that's a good idea."

"Come on, brother. Man to man. I'll owe you one," the player 124 winked and smacked Dae-ho's shoulder, then standing up.

When the guy, whose name Dae-ho wasn't sure of, had left, Dae-ho felt his heart burst. He couldn't watch another man make a move on you, it would absolutely kill him. Thankfully, the guy didn't rush immediately towards you, but to his own group which included Thanos, a few other guys and a girl. Dae-ho didn't know the girl's name, but why couldn't he try to hit on her instead, and not his Y/N?

His Y/N. You weren't exactly his either, but he didn't want to see you with anyone else except him. But of course that wouldn't happen if he didn't actually talk to you about it. He had started to feel possessive over you for no reason and he somehow managed to make himself mad without anyone else's effort.

Jun-hee was next to come and keep him company.

"So, she thinks you're mad at her," she said seriously.

"Mad? I'm not mad at her," Dae-ho insisted, confused, and straightened his back.

"Come on, you have to say something and stop avoiding her like that." Jun-hee took in a deep, frustrated breath when Dae-ho didn't know what to answer. "Why is it so hard to just be yourself around her?" Jun-hee asked, clearly frustrated with his attitude and behavior.

"I just," Dae-ho started but didn't find the words. "I don't know."

"Anyone with eyes can see that she's gorgeous and if you don't act soon, she's gonna be off the market."

With that said, Jun-hee got up and left him alone. Dae-ho knew she was right and he hated it. He could already see you running into player 124's arms if he didn't start doing something about this. And that image itself in his mind made him feel ill.

☆☆☆

The Mingle challenge started and Dae-ho knew he had to make sure that you weren't left alone at any point and be lost among the crowd, all freaking out and almost ripping each others' clothes off. When the carousel was slowly spinning and everyone stood still, Dae-ho stood right next to you, gently putting his hand on your wrist.

"Stick close to me, okay?" he said quietly and swallowed.

"I will," you answered with a smile that made Dae-ho automatically smile as well.

"Can i hold your hand?" Dae-ho asked, nervous for your reaction. "Just in case, you know."

You looked at him in the eyes with a warm gaze.

"Sure," you said and took his hand in yours, taking a tight grip with your fingers so he couldn't easily let go of you.

As the rounds went by, Dae-ho didn't let go of you even for a second until you had safely arrived inside one of the rooms and the door had been locked.

When it was time to find a room for two, Dae-ho immediately sprinted towards the rooms as fast as possible, trying to be one of the firsts to reach a free room.

After the door locked, he almost forgot to let go of your hand, finally relieved that the game must now be over.

"Dae-ho?" you said next to him.

"Oh, sorry," he stuttered and let go of you.

"You've been acting oddly, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, everything's fine," he assured you but by the tone of his voice he knew you weren't buying it either. This was it, he had to be direct with you right now or otherwise the player 124 would reach to you first. "Okay, fine. It's just, i get so nervous around you."

"Nervous?" you repeated. "What makes you nervous?"

"You," he whispered with a mere breath. "You, because i... i like you, Y/N."

"I like you too, Dae-ho," she said, confused. "I really struggle to see the problem."

"No, i mean i really like you," Dae-ho corrected himself. "Like more than anyone else here. A lot more. Like just, differently."

You narrowed your eyes, until let out a quick laugh, hiding it with your hand. Dae-ho was scared that he had just completely embarrassed himself.

"Dae-ho," you smirked and looked back into his eyes, speaking slowly. "Are you saying that you have a crush on me?"

His cheeks turned red. "Um, i suppose i am, yes."

"How long, hm?"

"Since the time you crashed on me on the first day probably," he admitted and looked away for a moment, but you put your hand on his cheek and made him look at you.

"Have you never liked a girl before, Dae-ho? What are you so afraid about?"

"Well, um-"

"That i wouldn't like you back?" you questioned.

"Probably, yeah," he stuttered.

"Well, i think you're really sweet," you started and took his hands in yours, now both of them. "And brave. Funny. Strong..."

"But?" Dae-ho asked, sure there was gonna be a turn in her words which made him feel hopeful.

"There's no 'but', silly," you said and playfully hit his shoulder. "I haven't known you long enough to get to the 'but' part."

Dae-ho looked at your hands tangled together, but you lifted his face up, finger on his chin.

"I like you too, Dae-ho," you said. "And i would like to get to know you better if you'd stop avoiding eye contact with me."

Dae-ho let out a relieved laugh.

"That's, well, good to hear," he said and swallowed, eyes moving between yours and your lips. Even though it was only a second, you noticed it and took his face in your hands.

You planted a soft kiss on his lips, not longer than couple of seconds. Almost right after that, the door unlocked itself.

"Nothing more romantic than bunch of people being slaughtered behind the door while we share our first kiss," you pointed out, both of you laughing.

"I hope there will be many more," Dae-ho whispered.

"There might, if you take me on a date."

"If we get out of here alive," he said.

"We will get out, have some hope," you insisted. "I'll take you to America too some day, if you want to."

"Really?"

"Of course."

You pressed another kiss on his cheek, until took his hand in yours and led him back to the rest of your group, relieved that all of them had survived.

Dae-ho couldn't stop smiling and could still feel the ghost of your lips on his cheek.

☆☆☆

A/N: If you've sent me a request, know that i'm working on them when i'm in the mood to write about that specific character, i'll try to update the existing fics too which have more parts coming up but it'll take a while 🫶🏻💙

[pascalislove]

The Call: Han Jeong-Won x Fem Reader!!

Summary: Your arrival would change everything, even if Jeong-Won didn't know it.

The clock on the wall marked two in the morning, but Han Jeong-Won couldn't sleep. The city of Seoul shone beyond the windows of his luxurious penthouse, but all he saw was the reflection of his tired face in the glass. The same empty expression he had worn for months.He clenched his jaw as his gaze fell on the phone lying on the coffee table. For the last hour, he had been debating with himself whether or not to make the call his assistant, worried about his "singleness," had suggested in hushed, uncomfortable whispers.

New Marriage: Where contracts become solutions.Jeong-Won had let out a dry laugh when he first heard that slogan. The idea had seemed absurd back then, but now… now everything seemed less ridiculous than living every day feeling the pitying stares or, worse yet, the evident contempt from his ex-wife.Seo-Yeon.Just thinking of her made his chest tighten. That woman had been his greatest mistake and his greatest weakness. Their marriage had ended in flames, consumed by hatred and guilt. She blamed him for the loss of their baby, and even though he knew it wasn’t his fault, the guilt had settled on him like a second skin."Dammit..." he muttered, grabbing the phone with determination.He dialed the number he had saved under the nondescript name "Service N." The waiting tone echoed in his ear, and for a moment, he thought about hanging up."New Marriage, good morning. How can we help you?" a soft, professional female voice answered.Jeong-Won swallowed hard."I want... to hire a wife."There was a brief silence on the other end of the line."Excuse me?""I want a wife," he repeated coldly. "As soon as possible."The operator seemed to regain her composure."Do you have any specific requirements?"Jeong-Won reclined on the sofa, running a hand through his messy hair."She needs to be discreet. I don’t care about her past. I just need her to be convincing.""Understood. What is the purpose of the contract?"He smiled, a bitter, twisted grimace."I want my ex-wife to see me happy. I want her to regret leaving me."The operator didn’t seem surprised. She had heard it all on this line."Very well, Mr. Han. We will send you an appropriate profile within the next 24 hours."He hung up before he could overthink what he had just done.The weight of his decision settled in the air like an impending storm. Jeong-Won knew that this wouldn’t solve his life, but at that moment, making her jealous was the closest thing to a victory he could imagine.And when you have nothing left to lose, even a fake marriage can seem like an opportunity.

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled Y/N's small apartment as Loki, her faithful white puppy, ran around her feet while she poured herself a cup and let out a satisfied sigh. Life hadn't been easy lately, but Y/N always found a way to keep her spirits up.Since her family had faced financial problems, Y/N had to take on unconventional jobs to make ends meet. That’s how she ended up registering with the New Marriage agency, a discreet but peculiar company that offered marriage services... by contract.The agreement was simple: temporary marriages lasting one year to cover personal or social needs of clients. Although the idea had seemed strange at first, the money was too good to turn down."It’s just a job, Y/N," she had told herself in front of the mirror the day she signed her contract as a "temporary wife candidate."The ringing of her phone interrupted her thoughts. She looked at the screen and saw the agency’s number."Hello?""Good morning, Miss Y/N. This is Min Seo from New Marriage.""Ah, hello," she replied, trying to sound calm despite her heart racing."We're calling to inform you that you've been selected for a special case."Y/N furrowed her brow."Special?""Yes. The client is Han Jeong-Won, a well-known music producer."Y/N couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. She had heard that name on the radio and in the news. A music genius, but with a reputation for being reserved and, according to rumors, difficult to deal with."And what’s the request?" she asked with curiosity."Marriage by contract, of course. Duration: one year. The client’s goal is primarily to make an impression in his social circle and, specifically, in front of his ex-wife."Y/N bit her lip. She wasn't unfamiliar with the extravagant cases the agency handled, but this request sounded more complicated than usual."An angry ex-husband? Sounds... interesting," she joked with a nervous tone."The client has made it clear that he needs discretion and a partner who can handle social situations with ease. We believe you are a perfect fit."Y/N sighed, looking at Loki, who was now chewing his favorite toy."Alright, I accept the offer."Min Seo smiled on the other end of the line."Perfect. We’ll send you the details for the initial meeting with the client."When the call ended, Y/N collapsed onto the sofa, petting Loki’s soft ears."Well, Loki, looks like mom just signed a deal with destiny."The dog barked happily."Yes, I think this is going to be crazy too."Unknowingly, Y/N was about to meet the loneliest man in Seoul, someone who didn’t believe in second chances. But maybe, with her cheerful spirit, she would be exactly what he never knew he needed.

Tell me if you like this story:3

The Call Masterlist

[sai-int]

what do you think 141 men's sun signs would be? (phillip graves and keegan included, if you headcanon them as well)

what do you think?

okay, i don't know HOW you knew i'm an astrology nerd, but i am. i won't go too in depth about their entire charts, but i can definitely figure out some sun signs based on who they are on a surface level!!

⸝⸝ john

a bonafide taurus, through and through (twinsies!!!). dependable, grounded, and a natural leader. he’s EXTREMELY protective over his men, stubborn to a fault, and always (tries to) keep a level head. he enjoys life’s finer things (like a good cigar and whiskey), but he’s also pragmatic and values stability. definitely the type to be patient, but once he’s pushed too far? unmovable.

⸝⸝ simon

a scorpio. intense, mysterious, and deeply private, embodies everything about this water sign. he keeps his emotions locked away, but when he loves, he does it with his whole soul (johnny). he’s the type to hold a grudge for life and operates in extremes, either you have his loyalty, or you don’t. his sense of humor is dark and dry, plus he thrives in the shadows.

⸝⸝ johnny

he's a tough one to call!! but i've settled on saggitarius. he's all firecracker energy, optimistic, adventurous, and constantly trying to beat someone up, shoot someone, or blow something up. he's a fucking dems expert. sagittarius fits him like a glove. PLUS, he’s got that infectious, chaotic charm and can talk his way out of (or into) anything. he doesn’t like being tied down, but when he’s dedicated to something, he gives it his all. the kind of guy who jokes to lighten the mood even in the worst situations, i mean come on. did you see him in las almas?

⸝⸝ kyle

LIBRA LIBRA LIBRA LIBRA. i have a libra rising so i feel so in touch with his sense of justice. for me personally, nothing enrages me more than seeing something just blatantly wrong. i mean think about the first modern warfare. man wanted to get his hands DIRTY for the greater good, or whatever. he felt it necessary in order to balance the scales, and libra's allllll about scales. he's also the mediator of the group, quick-witted, and socially adaptable. he knows how to navigate tense situations and keeps a cool head. libras are also deeply loyal to their people, and gaz would go to hell and back for his team. also he's fucking HOT, libra's ruled by venus.

⸝⸝ graves

a textbook leo and i'm not hearing anything else. charismatic, confident, and so good at making people believe in him. he carries himself like he’s the main character and knows how to command attention. but there’s that classic leo downside too, pride. his downfall is his ego, his need to be in control. he thrives in leadership positions and loves to be admired, but when his authority is challenged? that’s when the claws come out (e. g. "you've got about five seconds before i show you the difference between military, and me.")

⸝⸝ keegan

SUCH a capricorn and you cannot tell me otherwise. hes that no-nonsense, disciplined, get-shit-done type, which screams capricorn. he’s serious, hardworking, and has that quiet intensity that makes people take him seriously. capricorns are known for their sarcasm and dry humor, and keegan definitely embodies that. he’s also fiercely loyal. once you earn his trust, he’ll go to war for you.

⸝⸝ könig

a fun one to pin down. i’m torn between virgo and cancer, but i’m leaning more toward virgo.

he’s meticulous, observant, and highly analytical, classic virgo traits. virgos are often perfectionists, which fits with könig’s overthinking and anxiety. he strategizes everything, calculates risks, and probably notices details no one else does. he’s reserved but has a deeply anxious side, especially in social situations, which aligns with the more introverted nature of virgos. my sister's a virgo and has some ocd problems, but by god, there's a method to her madness and when she gets shit done, it's done well. virgos are also dangerous when they’ve had enough. they hold in a lot, but when they snap? it’s brutal.

[lisenberry]

We drift in and out

(Epilogue) Ch. 4: If someone asks, this is where I'll be

3k/E/NSFW

Talk of pregnancy/injuries/hospitals (but also a ton of domestic fluff).

A welcome home for John.

(How it started...) (AO3)

You ended up picking a ring that belonged to his great-grandmother, and had it resized just in time for his release from the hospital.

Severe internal bleeding from multiple puncture wounds and two separate points of blunt force trauma, five broken ribs, a fracture in his spine, a grade three concussion, and a blown out right knee.  Two agonizing weeks in intensive care before they could even fly him back home.  Six more at King Edward VII’s Hospital for veterans.

It was strange being on the other side of things.  With him in the hospital bed, arguing with the nurses and staff, and you the one adjusting his pillow and fetching a refill on his water and ice chips.

But you were grateful to see him recover at a quicker rate than any of the doctors had anticipated.  They clearly didn’t know John, because by mid-January, he was walking with the help of a cane and sitting back on your couch.  Watching the weekly match and defying their orders not to lift anything heavier than five kilos.

Each time he hoisted the baby up into the air, you worried that he’d somehow fall apart.  Rip himself open again.  Only to remember that of all the things he had endured, the weight of your child on his chest wouldn’t be what took him from you.

That nothing would, ever again.

He was retired.  A decommissioned weapon of warfare that would spend the rest of its days warm and dry and protected in a museum, telling its stories and keeping its secrets.  And if they tried to bring him back in again, you’d just have to bash in his other knee. 

Simple as that.

“While I admire your conviction, love, it won’t come to that.  I promise,” he’d vowed with a deep chuckle, and dropped a scratchy kiss to your temple when you’d told him as much.

The rest of the team had a laugh over it, as well.  Sergeant Garrick even offered to do it for you, if necessary.  Which sparked a grisly conversation between him and Sergeant MacTavish about the correct pressure and angle with which to get the job done, and whether or not they’d need Lieutenant Riley to help hold him down.

“Gladly,” had been the quiet man’s only reply.  Made even slightly more unnerving because your drooling, teething baby had his finger clenched tightly between her sharp little teeth.  And he didn't seem bothered at all.

She must’ve seen something interesting in him as well, perhaps in the way he didn’t flinch or pull away with an exaggerated yelp like her mum did.  It brought an adorable crease of concentration to her tiny brow, followed by a wide, cheeky grin as she realized she’d met her match. 

“It’s good luck when a baby smiles at you, L.T.,” Johnny teased around the mouth of his beer, quickly turning to the telly to avoid the annoyed look he knew would come.

“She can’t go around biting people,” you admonished, rolling your eyes with a huff as you set the table.

“Only the dodgy ones,” Kyle piped up from his end of the couch as he rose to have his turn of holding her, avoiding any potential for bloodshed.

You’d kept your promise to meet his team again under different circumstances, and you’d invited them to your flat for a Welcome Home party to watch the match.  It had been too cold to grill on his outside deck, so instead you made a small feast of chicken marsala, mashed potatoes and green beans.  Crusty bread rolls and a brightly colored salad.

You hoped they weren’t too picky, but if they were anything like John, they’d eat burnt shit on a shingle if it was hot, so you tried not to overthink it.  When you’d been working full time, you didn’t have much energy to think about cooking, but in the months since your maternity leave, you’d come to enjoy it.

Not knowing what to expect of your guests, you’d been surprised to see that none of them had arrived empty-handed.  Kyle brought a case of beer and a bottle of wine.  Johnny brought a sweet bouquet of flowers and a dessert trifle that he swore looked more labor intensive than it was.

“My mam’s old trick for impressing the lasses.  Didn’t have to cook a thing,” he’d pronounced with a lazy wink.

And Simon, well, he’d brought a party-sized bag of prawn crisps. 

You almost wept at the thoughtfulness, for reasons you couldn’t explain.  Maybe it was because they’d all had a hand in bringing him home to you.  That they’d shown him such deference and respect.

Love.

You’d once lamented that he had no one except you, but you were wrong.  He’d always been in good hands.  All that was missing was Kate, who’d declined your invitation with a sweet note and a promise to catch up another time. 

Maybe there was some lingering animosity over the way the mission went down, or maybe it was that she preferred to keep things on a professional level.  Her power over the team hinging on keeping herself separate.  An omnipotent voice in their ear more than a friend at their side.

“I half-expected to see the missus knocked up again, Captain.  What are you waiting for?”  MacTavish pivoted from instigating his lieutenant to his captain with the same puckish fortitude.

A scandalized snort escaped as you turned to gauge John’s reaction.  Sure enough, a rosy blush crept up under his beard.  His cerulean eyes evolved from crinkled with amusement to panicked in a heartbeat.  Like he’d been found out.

As before, he’d come back a little different.  Changed in subtle ways, beyond the physical.  You sometimes thought of him as a planet, circling steadily on some unending course.  A force to be certain, but not invulnerable.  Weathered and scarred by tiny evolutions that shifted him imperceptibly off axis along the way. 

Perhaps the weeks of torture he didn’t talk about affected his capacity to keep his desires so close to his chest.  What you had once thought of as his poker face, you now wondered if he’d start wearing everything so readily upon his features.

You took pity on both him and MacTavish, whose smile had faded in fear he’d hit a nerve.

“Not for want of trying, Johnny,” you corrected him mockingly.  “But one of us has to work around here, and my leave’s nearly up.”

“And without her work, he’d still be at the bottom of a bunker,” Kyle defended you with a nod.

“You’re right, carry on then.  Maybe it’s L.T.’s turn to catch the baby fever.”

He just couldn’t help himself it seemed, and you quickly turned back to the kitchen before all hell could break loose.

You needn’t have worried about dinner.  It was promptly and heartily devoured among a raucous round of conversation.  Not a green bean or a cherry tomato was spared.  Plates were all but licked clean of the rich, mushroom sauce you’d always been intimidated to make before.  Butter, shallots, flour and wine.  Salt and pepper. 

How could anything so simple taste so good?

As the evening wore on, there was a palpable sense of relief in the air.  An easiness that had you feeling like you were with family, but not like the family you’d known.  It was the kind you’d only heard about, never pictured for yourself.  One where you could laugh with food in your mouth or call someone an asshole without hurting anyone’s feelings.

Maybe it wasn’t just a welcome home party for him.  You were safe in this place with your baby, John and these men you didn’t even know.  You, who had grown so comfortable being alone and resigned yourself to that fate, were home, too.  Whatever had happened before, and whatever could possibly come, posed no threat in that moment.  For any of you.

It brought out an easiness in John as well, a bit of pride that his small circle of people had gotten along so well.  Until you’d tried to hide your first yawn, and then he gave the silent command for his team to take their leave. 

It was a marvel, really.  One short, audible sigh and a stretch of his wide shoulders and they were all on their feet, thanking you for the meal and excusing themselves with all the polite formalities of a table of boys at Sunday dinner.

When you were alone, the excitement of the day faded slowly from your bones, but the contented smile remained snuggly fastened across your face. 

“I hope those muppets weren’t too much.  I warned them to behave.”  He emptied the last of his beer down his throat as he pushed the door closed behind them.  

“You wouldn’t remember, being so heavily sedated at the time, but we got a long quite well at King Edward’s.  They’re good lads.”

“MacTavish can be...colorful.”  He gave a short smirk when he found the right word for his sergeant’s sense of humor, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Just wanted to get a rise out of you, is all.  I don’t think he meant anything by it.”

“Hate to disappoint the lad, but after five years of not exactly being careful, it’s not hard to see that maybe it’s just me that can’t—”  You shushed him with a gentle finger to his lips before he could go any further.  Stunned at his admission and wanting to stop it before any more of his insecurities spilled out so freely.

You’d silence them all.

Was that why you hadn’t had sex since his deployment, aside from a few hurried hand jobs and quiet blow jobs from underneath his hospital gown?  He’d been sure to take care of you in other ways once he’d gotten home, but had stopped short of filling you up and taking you in the way he had before he left.

When he’d pounded so restlessly, and relentlessly, you wondered if he was trying to burrow himself inside you.  To leave something of himself irrevocably behind.  Was he disappointed to learn he hadn’t, when it had come so easily to someone else?

You’d chocked his restraint up to his injuries, and were glad to see him taking it slow and not pushing himself.  You hadn’t stopped to think that he may have been still holding you just a little out of reach.  That he hadn’t fully given himself up to the idea that you were his, despite what his letters had said.

There was no room for that now.  Easy and casual went out the window the day your daughter was born.  His daughter, no matter how she’d been conceived.  In every way that did matter.  And in the days and months that followed when he saw you at your worst.  He hadn’t let you go then, and you weren’t going to let him pull away from you now.

“Well, the only way to know for sure is to stop being careless.  And start trying.”  Your arms slid around his neck and pulled him down to you. 

“Is that what you want, darling?” 

“I want you to know that you’re not broken, and you never could be.”

“How do you know?”

“I didn’t tell you?  I thought you knew.”  You pulled away with confusion, focusing instead on the buttons of his shirt. 

“What?”

“I’m psychic,” you boasted as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.  “I’ve seen the future.” 

“Have you now?”  At least the indulgent twinkle in his eyes replaced the bleakness you never wanted to see again.

He was allowed to come back different, but he was never going to be anything but your John. 

“You’re going to need glasses soon. And you’re going to buy four pairs of the cheapest ones you can find because you’re going to forget them everywhere.” 

“You’ve just been talking to my doctor is all.”  A playful hitch at the corner of his mustache brought him further out of his mood.

“And no matter how many children we have, they’re going to be horribly embarrassed by us.”

Once his shirt lay discarded at your feet, you went to work on his belt and trousers.

“Eww, Mum’s snogging Dad again.  They’re just the worst,” you mimic the disgusted voice of your potential progeny.  “And you’ll just laugh and kiss me harder.  Show them how much you love their mother.”

“What else?”  He stopped your forward progress on his wardrobe to hold your hands in his.

“We’re going to take a lot of vacations.  Show them the whole world, all the good people worth saving.  The beauty worth living for.  And the road trips to the country are going to take twice as long as they should because you'll have to stop to pee at least twice an hour, and I’m going to take an annoying amount of photos—”

He did shut you up then with a kiss, finally, as he pulled you both to the floor.

“Not the floor, your poor back!”  You attempted to protest, but he was moving quicker than you’d seen in months and held you tightly across his chest.

“It’s never too sore to please my wife.  Give this old man some credit.”  He sat you up with his back against the smooth wood.

“You’ll let me know if it hurts, won’t you?  I know how you like to be brave.”  You kissed the side of his neck, trailing to suckle along his ear.

Repeated the words he’d said to you, not so long ago.

When he smiled, you felt it in his jaw just before you sat up straight to notch yourself above him.  He propped himself up on a forearm behind his head, content to sit back and watch as you set your skirt aside and sunk down to meet him. 

“I’ve always told my men if they wake up to this, in the warm, silky,” his voice caught briefly on a breathless shudder, “grip of someone who’d fight the world for them, then to enjoy it for as long as it lasts.  Because they’re already dead.”

“You’re not dead.  You’re right here.”

You clutched him with your walls, as if to reinforce your position.  And he somehow hardened even more in deep gratitude, bucking back at you as if to test the veracity of your resolve.

“Fucking heaven,” he groaned just before he pivoted and pinned you beneath him with the thick thighs you were worried had lost too much size in the hospital.

That you worked tirelessly to fatten up with signs of life.  Signs of love.  They spread yours out wide, to prove you wrong for ever thinking he’d lost any of his fight.

“There you are.  Welcome home, John.”

*****

You were married on a lovely Friday afternoon in February.  Valentine’s Day, to be specific, in a small civil ceremony at the local register’s office.  John looked dashing in his classic black suit, and you were radiant in a simple dress you splurged on.  The cut and color flattering the curves that had made themselves a permanent part of you. 

It was a day just for the two of you, and you celebrated with dinner at The Midland, with three very enthusiastic babysitters keeping the little one occupied at home.

You only received two panicked phone calls throughout the night.  One minor emergency from Gaz regarding a particularly messy diaper and one sincere apology from Soap for knocking over a bottle of your hard-earned breastmilk down the sink while trying to heat it up.   You assured them that they sounded like it was all under control, and you had plenty of fresh nappies and milk reserves in case they needed more. 

There was no dancing the night away, but you still managed to stay out until the wee hours of the morning, catching an early breakfast and the sunrise along the Thames.   You returned home, tip-toeing down the hallway with your shoes in your hands.  You had every intention of continuing the festivities in his apartment, but instead you both silently agreed to poke your heads into yours to check on the lads.

It was Ghost who surprised you the most, although it shouldn’t have.  You found him sitting upright in your armchair, with the baby asleep in the crook of his arm.

“Have you been up all night?” you whispered, as his eyes flickered up from the book he was reading, despite having lost his audience to dreamland.  Something about rabbits and foxes making friends.

“She’s a quiet little thing, isn’t she?” John intoned knowingly down to his lieutenant.

“Wake her up and I’ll kill you both,” was his only reply, but a slight smile pulled at his scarred lips.

*****

By the spring, you were back at work.  A whole year had passed since your world had changed so completely.  It was easier to leave them behind each day, knowing they had each other to keep company.  That they were both in good hands.  He even made you lunches in the morning and had dinner on the stove when you came home. 

You stopped for a coffee at your old favorite shop on the way to the office and reacquainted yourself with the new faces at the security desk.  Stretched old muscles of socialization and got up to speed on the latest workplace gossip.

On lazy Sunday mornings, John shared his cigar on the outside deck as you made your meal plan for the week, and you picnicked in the park on Saturdays while the baby practiced walking on her chubby, strong little legs.

John made time to get to the gym, not so much to stay in fighting shape, but to keep up with his ‘ravenous wife’, and his ‘beastly moppet’.  His words, not yours. 

And as the summer flowed into fall, change would come yet again.  But it didn’t scare you any longer.  It was all just endings and beginnings.  Beginnings and ends.

You slipped your work bag over your shoulder and paused to give your husband a kiss that would last all day.  The slow, warm, savoring kind that left a trail behind. 

“What was that for?” he asked, eyebrows nearly up to his hairline. 

“You said you were sorry once, for missing out on everything.  Remember?” you continued only when he nodded, solemnly, not really seeing where you were going with it.  “Well, everything is about to get a lot more interesting.”

You held up the white and purple stick that you’d been hiding in your pocket.  It was the third you’d taken over the last two weeks.  You wanted to be sure before you told him, knowing how much it meant to him.

Everything you had prophesized came true, in its own time, as you knew it would.

...And you were sure to take an obnoxious amount of photos.

[bluebirdinhissky]

Emotional support for Chan.

Bang Chan x reader.

Bird note: Today’s Chan’s 🫧 messages made me want to hug him and just give him all the comfort he needs. MDNI!!, NSFW!!, 18+.

The world felt quieter in the safety of your bed, wrapped in the warmth of Bang Chan’s arms. The dim glow from the bedside lamp bathed his face in soft light, casting gentle shadows that accentuated the exhaustion etched into his features. He was shirtless, his bare skin radiating heat against your own, and his arms were locked tightly around you, as if afraid you’d slip away.

His head rested on your chest, rising and falling with your breathing. Every few moments, he’d tighten his hold on you, letting out deep sighs, his body tense even in your embrace. You ran your fingers through his curls, combing them back soothingly, waiting for him to speak.

“I hate people.” His voice was quiet but firm, tickling your skin.

You blinked, caught off guard by the sudden confession. “What?”

“I hate people,” he repeated, shifting slightly so his chin rested on your chest and he could look up at you. His brown eyes, usually warm, were clouded with frustration. “They’re selfish. They take and take, and they never think about how much it costs someone else.”

You knew what this was about. The endless pressure. The expectations. The criticism. The way he poured every ounce of himself into his music, into Stray Kids, into making Stay happy, only to be met with negativity sometimes. It wasn’t often that he let the weight of it show, but tonight, he wasn’t trying to hide it.

“I don’t hate everyone though” he amended, his voice softening as he nuzzled against you again. “I love SKZ. And I love Stay.” He hesitated, then, as if the words had been on the tip of his tongue for a while, he murmured, “And I love you.”

Your breath hitched. He said it so naturally, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Your hand stilled in his hair, heart pounding. “Chan…”

He sighed, burrowing deeper against you, his arms tightening around your waist. “Don’t overthink it. I love you,” he repeated, pressing a lingering kiss to your collarbone. “You’re the only one who makes me feel like I can just… be. No pressure. No expectations. Just me.”

You swallowed, warmth spreading through your chest. “You can always just be with me.”

“I know,” he whispered. Then, as if he needed to shake off the heaviness of the moment, his lips curled into a smirk. “That’s why I need my emotional support boobs.”

You barely had time to process his words before his hands slid under your shirt, cupping your breasts with a greedy squeeze.

“Chan!” You let out a mix between a laugh and a gasp, shoving at his shoulders.

“What?” He looked up at you with faux innocence, fingers kneading shamelessly. “You don’t understand. I need them.”

“You do not.”

“I do,” he insisted, shifting so he was hovering over you slightly. “Look at me. I’m a broken man. The world is cruel, and I am but a weary traveler in need of comfort.” His grip tightened, and his lips brushed against your collarbone again. “And these” he gave another squeeze for emphasis “are the only thing keeping me sane.”

“You’re insufferable,” you muttered, though the warmth in your cheeks betrayed you.

“And you love it,” he countered smoothly. His thumbs traced slow circles against your skin, his touch lazy and indulgent. His eyes darkened slightly as he watched you, and his smirk widened. “Mmm, they’re so soft… I could fall asleep like this.”

“Chan…” You meant to sound exasperated, but his weight pressing against you, the teasing glint in his eyes, the way he was so unapologetically needy it was making it hard to think straight and instead came out as a moan.

“Hm?” He feigned innocence, tilting his head slightly. “Do you want me to stop?”

You hesitated for a fraction of a second too long. His smirk deepened.

“Thought so.” He shifted even closer, his breath warm against your skin. “I love you, you know.”

Your heart ached at the raw honesty in his voice. You cupped his face, guiding him up so you could meet his gaze properly. “I love you too.”

His eyes softened, and for a moment, he just looked at you, like he was memorizing everything about this moment. Then he let out a dramatic sigh and dropped his head back onto your chest.

“Good,” he mumbled against your skin. “Now, hold still while I get comfortable.” His hands resumed their place on your chest, squeezing lazily as he let out a contented hum.

You rolled your eyes, but you didn’t push him away. If this was what he needed to forget about the world for a little while, then you’d let him have it.

After all, who were you to deny Bang Chan his emotional support boobs?. Tonight, there was no holding back. You were right here with him, in his arms, and the world outside didn’t matter anymore.

You feel the weight of his eyes on your skin as his lips trail down your neck. His hands, warm and firm, move to cup your breasts, squeezing gently in a way that makes your pulse quicken.

His touch feels so familiar, yet it still sends a shiver down your spine, making you arch into him. You’ve always felt safe in his arms, but tonight, it’s something more. Something deeper.

“I love these,” he mutters against your skin, his lips brushing over the curve of your breast before his fingers begin to knead gently. “So soft. So perfect.”

A breath catches in your throat at his words, your body betraying you as you feel heat flood your chest. You try to look away, but there’s something in his gaze, something possessive that holds you captive.

“I’m yours, Chan,” you whisper, your voice barely audible, but he hears it. His grip tightens, and he smiles against your skin.

“You’re perfect,” he murmurs, kissing your hard nipples, sending a tremor through your entire body. His hands slide lower, tracing the waistband of your panties, and then back up again. He’s taking his time, savoring every moment, every inch of you.

“Let me have this,” he whispers against your skin, his fingers skillfully pulling your panties down while your hands find their way to his hair, fingers tugging him closer.

He brings his mouth close to your core without hesitation, he kisses you there, soft and deep, his fingers opening you as if he’s trying to taste every part of you. His other hand is pulling you even closer to him.

“I need you” His voice is rough against your wetness, his breath hot and needy. “I need you more than you could ever know.”

His words stir something deep within you, and you find yourself responding to him in ways you didn’t think possible. His fingers move inside of you, teasing, he traces your folds with a tenderness that makes your breath catch in your throat.

You can’t stop the moans that escape your lips when his tongue finds your spot, pressing soft kisses. It’s like he knows exactly how much pressure you can handle, to leave you breathless and craving more.

“You’re everything I need,” he says, his voice heavy with emotion. His fingers fuck you deeper as if to prove it. Your hands tug at his hair, making him bury his face deeper in you. You feel like you’re melting beneath him, like there’s nothing but the two of you in this space.

He takes his time, pressing gentle kisses against your spot, as if savoring every moment, every moan that escapes your lips. His other hand is reaching up to one of your breasts, squeezing, caressing your body as if he can’t get enough.

You’re losing yourself in him, in the way his skillful tongue never leaves your pussy, in the way his fingers fit so good inside of you, in the way his voice rumbles against you as he breathes your name. There’s nothing else, nothing outside of this room, nothing but him and you.

“I want you,” he growls, his voice low, full of need. And you feel it—every word, every touch. You can’t deny it anymore.

And in that moment, you realize that tonight, nothing else matters. Just him. Just you.

[overadores]

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ somewhere in italy

When Sophia returns to her family’s summer home in Italy for the first time since she was ten, she’s determined to immerse herself in European culture while helping renovate the house. But when she steps into a quaint local bookstore, she meets a perceptive bookstore clerk who immediately clocks her as a tourist. What starts as a simple exchange—asking for recommendations on where to eat and what to see—quickly turns into something more. As they explore the city together, Sophia finds herself drawn not just to the charm of Italy, but to the person showing it to her. However, with her time in Europe limited and emotions growing deeper, she must decide whether this summer is just a fleeting adventure or the start of something real.

02. first meeting (wc: 565)

The bell chimed softly as Sophia stepped into the bookshop, the quiet atmosphere a stark contrast to the bustling crowd from the day before. She took a slow breath, appreciating the scent of old paper and freshly printed books as she wandered in, her eyes scanning the shelves. She was here for one reason—a cookbook in English. As she moved through the aisles, her gaze landed on a red-haired girl carefully organizing books on a shelf.

“Hi, uhm, Yunjin?” Sophia called out hesitantly.

Yunjin froze, a book still in her hands. When she turned, she found herself face-to-face with Sophia. Her mind short-circuited for a moment.

Pretty.

That was the first thought that shot through her brain, and for some reason, it left her flustered. She knew English well enough—fluent even—but suddenly, her tongue felt heavy.

“I—uh—I don’t speak English very well,” Yunjin blurted out before she could stop herself.

Sophia blinked, confusion flickering across her face as Yunjin quickly spun on her heel, practically scurrying toward the counter. She watched as Yunjin whispered something to another girl behind the register, her hands gesturing in a panic. A moment later, the girl—Y/N—approached with a composed smile, her presence instantly soothing.

“Hi, what can I do for you?” Y/N asked, her voice smooth and warm.

Sophia almost melted right then and there. It wasn’t just the kind smile or the gentle lilt in Y/N’s voice—it was the accent, the way her words flowed effortlessly.

“How’d you know I speak English?” Sophia asked, trying to mask the way her heartbeat quickened.

Y/N chuckled softly. “Well, I can usually tell when someone’s a tourist. And I don’t think I’ve seen you around before.”

Sophia smiled, nodding. “You got me there. I’m looking for a cookbook in English.”

“Of course, I can help with that.” Y/N turned toward the shelves, leading Sophia through the store. As they walked, she pointed out different options, recommending a few of her personal favorites.

“You know, if you’re here for food, there are some great places you should try,” Y/N added, her excitement shining through. “There’s a little café down the street that has the best pastries, and if you’re looking for something more traditional, there’s a restaurant near the coast with amazing seafood.”

Sophia listened intently, absorbing every word. “That all sounds incredible,” she admitted. “But I’m actually not here for long. Just helping my parents renovate their summer home.”

Y/N tilted her head slightly. “That sounds like a big project. Need an extra set of hands?”

Sophia blinked, caught off guard. “Wait—you’d help?”

Y/N shrugged, smiling. “I like helping people. And I know a thing or two about fixing things up.”

There was a moment of hesitation. Sophia barely knew Y/N. She had met her five minutes ago. Yet something about the offer—about her—felt so easy, so natural. Before she could overthink it, she found herself nodding.

“Yeah,” she said, almost breathless. “I’d like that.”

Y/N grinned. “Great. Let’s exchange numbers then.”

Sophia barely registered what she was doing as they swapped contacts. Her fingers trembled slightly as she saved Y/N’s number, her mind still catching up to how easily this moment had unfolded. When she looked up, Y/N was already smiling at her, something playful in her eyes.

And just like that, Sophia knew—this was only the beginning.

𓂂 𓇼˚｡ • masterlist next

taglist:@fruityg0rl @wtfisthisnoclueman @goofymickeyr @falling-intoo-deep @itzkatflixs @spongebobtentacles @sibwol @kyanavanzinigf @leotapes

[valkyriexo]

He's the bad guy... DUH | OT8

ᑉ³pairing; OT8 x Reader

ᑉ³genre; Fluff, angst (ish)

ᑉ³warnings; mentions of toxic boyfriend

ᑉ³Authors Note; Requested <3 Im going to be honest and say im not very confident about this piece... but let me know your thoughts

It had been weeks since your friends had started noticing the change in you. The sparkle in your eyes that used to be there when you talked about your work, your passion, your dreams—gone. The smile that was once so effortlessly bright had become a shadow of its former self. But you didn’t let anyone see it. You kept up appearances. You told them everything was fine.

But tonight, your friends weren’t buying it.

You walked into the living room, hoping to enjoy a quiet evening with your boys, but the atmosphere in the room was heavy, a tension that made your stomach churn. They were all there—Chan, Felix, Hyunjin, Seungmin, and the others—but something about their faces made your heart drop.

There was a brief silence, and you could see them exchanging glances—none of them looking directly at you.

Finally, Chan cleared his throat, a slight shift in his posture as if he were gathering his words. "Yeah, uh… We’ve noticed… well, a lot of things," he began, his voice careful, almost too soft. "It’s just, we’ve been seeing you a lot less like… you lately, and it’s got us worried."

His gaze flickered down, almost like he was searching for the right words. He always had this protective nature about him, but now, there was a hesitation, as though he didn’t want to upset you. He ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"We’re just, uh… concerned," he said, his words slow, measured. "You don’t seem like yourself. And we can’t ignore it anymore."

You felt a pang in your chest, but you fought it off, trying to remain calm. "What do you mean? I’m fine, really." You gave a weak smile, but even you knew it wasn’t convincing.

Felix spoke up next, his voice gentle. "You’ve been distant," he said, his brow furrowed in concern. "You cancel plans all the time, and when we do hang out, you’re not… well, you. It’s like you’re carrying something heavy. You’ve been pulling away from us, Y/N."

You didn’t have an answer for that. It was true, but you couldn’t bring yourself to explain why. Not like this.

Chan finally locked eyes with you, and there was an undeniable softness there, but something else—something urgent. "Look, we’re not trying to push you, but… this thing with him," he began, stumbling over his words. "We just—we don’t understand. Why are you still with him?"

Your chest tightened at the mention of him, and you wanted to tell them everything. How could you? How could you explain the tangled mess you had gotten yourself into?

Your mind raced, panic starting to rise. "No, no," you said quickly, shaking your head. "You’re just overthinking it."

Hyunjin raised an eyebrow. "Overthinking it? We’ve seen you, Y/N. You’re different. Something’s wrong."

You bit your lip, heart pounding. You couldn’t let them keep questioning you. You couldn’t let them find out the real reason you were struggling.

Not yet.

"It’s nothing. He’s just been busy, you know? And work’s been a lot lately," you said, your voice a little too sharp, trying to brush it off. "But he’s great, really. He’s just… got a lot on his plate too."

The words felt foreign on your tongue. You knew deep down that he wasn’t great—he hadn’t been for a while now. But you couldn’t let them see that. You didn’t want them to think you were weak or incapable of handling things. You didn’t want them to keep pushing and asking more questions.

Chan’s eyes softened, but there was a flicker of doubt. "Y/N, we’ve heard you say that before, and it’s not adding up. You’re telling us he’s great, but we can see you’re not okay. You can’t keep pretending."

You swallowed hard, trying to maintain your composure. "I’m fine," you repeated, this time more forcefully. "Really, I am. Things aren’t perfect, but we’re working through it. It’s not a big deal."

But they weren’t buying it. Seungmin stepped forward, his voice quieter but filled with concern. "You’re always making excuses for him, Y/N. You’re the last person to say anything bad about him, even when we can all see how it’s affecting you."

A long silence followed. You tried to hide your unease, but it was like the truth was written all over you.

"I told you before," you started, but your voice faltered, making it sound weaker than you intended. "It’s not like I want to be with him. Things are complicated."

Hyunjin frowned. "Complicated? You think this is just complicated?" His voice was laced with frustration. "You’ve been hurting, Y/N. We see it."

Your heart beat faster, and you suddenly felt cornered. You weren’t ready to tell them the truth—not yet, not this way. But their faces were full of concern, full of care. You had to do something, say something, anything to get them to stop pushing you.

You shook your head, your voice cracking under the pressure. "It’s just… you don’t understand. He’s my mom’s boss’s son. She’s in a high position at the company, and things have finally started getting better for us—financially, at least. After everything she’s been through… if I break up with him, the company could find out. His family could use that against her. They’ll make sure she’s demoted, maybe even fired. She’s the main one supporting us right now, and if she loses her job, everything’s over. We’ll lose our house, we’ll lose everything. You don’t get it—I can’t do that to her."

The room was silent. Chan’s eyes were wide with shock, and the others were frozen, processing what you had just revealed.

Finally Felix spoke up. "Your mom loves you. She wouldn’t want you to keep putting yourself through this just to protect her."

You shook your head again, trying to hold it together, but the tears that had been threatening to spill finally broke free. "I know," you sobbed, "but what if she gets hurt? What if all of this falls apart and we end up back where we were before? I can’t let that happen."

"You don’t have to protect her from everything, Y/N," Hyunjin added, his voice soft but firm. "You’re not alone in this. We’ll be there, every step of the way. But you need to let us help you. You can’t carry this on your own."

You could feel the warmth of their concern wrapping around you, but the fear still clawed at your chest. What if you lost everything because of one bad choice? What if it was all just too complicated to fix?

Jisung was the next to speak, his voice thick with frustration but also determination. "Y/N, he’s a jerk. You don’t deserve that. No one should make you feel like you have to stay in a toxic relationship just to protect someone else. Your mom, your future, your happiness—they matter too."

"I don’t care if it means starting over," Changbin chimed in, his gaze intense. "We’ll help your mom find a new job, one that doesn’t tie her to him.

You looked at each of them in turn, and for the first time, you saw not just friends who cared for you but a team of people who would do anything to see you happy, safe, and free.

"I don’t want to lose her job," you whispered, shaking your head in confusion and guilt. "I don’t want her to think I’m ruining everything."

Felix leaned forward, his eyes soft and steady. "She won’t think that. She’ll understand why you had to do this. You’re not ruining anything. If anything, you’re doing what’s right for both of you. You deserve a life that’s not weighed down by him."

"And you deserve to be treated with respect," Seungmin added firmly, his voice full of sincerity. "This guy? He doesn’t care about you. But we do. And we’ll fight for you, even if you’re not ready to yet."

Chan gave your hand a reassuring squeeze, his voice calm and steady.

You felt your heart swell with gratitude, the knot in your chest loosening just a little more. It was still scary—breaking free from something that had controlled your life for so long. But in this moment, surrounded by your friends, you could finally see a way out. You didn’t have to stay stuck. You didn’t have to let someone else dictate your worth.

"Thanks," you whispered, your voice full of sincerity. "I don’t know what I’d do without you guys."

With their words echoing in your mind, you let out a long breath, your shoulders relaxing. You still had a long road ahead of you, but now, you weren’t walking it alone.

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[arivsxq]

meddle about chapter 6

pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Theme: strangers to lovers, angsty shit

Warnings: smut, hookup, fwb, maybe slow updates

Word count: 3,8k+

Songs: Meddle about - Chase Atlantic

Heartbeat - Childish Gambino

A/N: Hey guys, it's been over a week but I'm back. I have some struggles in my private life that might affect the uploads but I try my best to post regularly. This chapter is a bit short but don't worry I'm working on a longer one. Right now chapter 7 has 6k words. I might post it this week or next, we'll see but til then I hope you'll enjoy this one<3

A whole week had passed since we both agreed on the whole friends-with-benefits thing. And to be honest, the weirdness in the air faded really quickly, but we also didn't get intimate the whole time, so I couldn't quite tell how long the weirdness would be gone. At least I had the time to start all over with my art project and make it watchable this time.

At the weekend, everyone was busy studying for the upcoming exams, while I had to attend another soul-sucking event my parents wanted me to. This time, I kept my mouth shut and didn't speak unless I had to. This was the first night after a long time my parents didn't call me the biggest disappointment. It felt nice. Too nice for my liking. I wasn't used to them behaving this way, but I also wasn't used to me behaving like they wanted me to behave.

I kept my back straight and my smile polite as I stood among a crowd of well-dressed people who spoke in clipped, rehearsed tones. The event hall was grand, with chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, the scent of expensive perfume and champagne thick in the air. My parents were busy socializing, shaking hands with people I barely recognized, people who pretended to care about each other's achievements while secretly competing for who had the best success story to flaunt.

I hated these events. Always had.

But after hours of suffering, I was driven home by the driver of my parents, and for the first time, I felt like I wasn't a burden to them. Maybe it was my fault all along, and I was being childish and overdramatic. Maybe this was what I had to do the whole time, keep my mouth shut and do what they wanted me to for a few hours. I mean, that's the least I can do, right?

A few days later, I was sitting in the campus library, attempting to shove an entire semester's worth of knowledge into my already exhausted brain.

Spoiler alert: it wasn't working.

I stared blankly at my notes, the words blurring together into an indecipherable mess. Art history. Movements, techniques, dates. Normally, I found some level of interest in it, but today, everything felt dull and suffocating. Probably because my brain was still preoccupied with thoughts I didn't want to have.

Thoughts about that stupid event. About how easy it had been to be the daughter my parents always wanted. About how it had made me feel, lighter, in a way, but also... less. I hated that I was still thinking about it. It wasn't a big deal. I did what I had to do. That was life, right?

I sighed, rubbing my temples. Focus. I needed to focus. I had exams coming up. Real-life problems that needed my attention. The chair across from me scraped against the floor, and before I even looked up, I knew who it was.

Jungkook.

Because of course, the universe wasn't going to let me sit in peace and overthink my existence in solitude.

He plopped down, a lazy grin tugging at his lips as he leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. "You look miserable for someone who is a bit overdressed."

I shot him a flat look. "That's because I am miserable."

He snorted, peeking at my notes. "Cramming last minute?"

"No, I just love spending my free time reading about 18th-century brush techniques."

Jungkook smirked. "Sexy."

I rolled my eyes. "Why are you here?"

He shrugged. "Felt like annoying you."

Of course he did.

I sighed, tapping my pen against my notebook. Jungkook had an annoying talent for making me forget whatever I was brooding about, and as much as I wanted to stay in my little bubble of self-pity, part of me was relieved he was here.

"Did you even study?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

He leaned back, stretching his arms over his head. "Nope. Just gonna wing it."

I groaned. "You can't just wing it. These exams are-"

"Relax, I'll be fine." He tilted his head, studying me for a second. "You, on the other hand, look like you might explode."

"That's because I might explode."

He chuckled, and then his gaze softened slightly. "Still thinking about the event?"

I hesitated. I hadn't told him much, just the basics. That it had been suffocating. That my parents had, for once, not looked at me like I was a letdown. I hadn't told him the part where I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

Jungkook sighed, leaning forward again. "Look, I know you want them to see you. Really see you. But don't lose yourself trying to be someone you're not."

I swallowed. "I'm not."

He raised an eyebrow.

I exhaled sharply. "I just... I don't know. Maybe I make things harder than they have to be."

Jungkook studied me, then reached over, plucking my pen from my hand. "Let's take a break."

I frowned. "I can't."

"Yes, you can." He smirked. "Come on, let's go get food. You're going to fail your exams and die of stress at this rate."

I stared at him, my mind warring between wanting to be responsible and knowing he was right.

Finally, I sighed. "Fine."

His grin widened. "Knew you'd see reason."

On our way out, we nearly crashed into Namjoon, who looked like he was one all-nighter away from complete collapse. His arms are stacked with books, thick ones, the kind that makes you reconsider your entire life's choices, and the dark bags under his eyes suggest he hasn't seen the sun in days. He doesn't even seem to notice us. Or anyone, really. Just a man and his books, locked in an academic death match.

"Dude," Jungkook says, stepping aside before Namjoon accidentally bulldozes through him. "Blink twice if you're alive."

Namjoon blinks exactly zero times.

I tilt my head, eyeing his precariously stacked tower of textbooks. "Do you need help?"

Namjoon finally registers our existence, blinking blearily like he's just now remembering the concept of human interaction. "No, no, I'm good," he mutters, adjusting the books in his grip. One slides dangerously close to the edge, and I instinctively reach out, steadying it before it topples.

"You sure?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

He sighs, clearly not sure, but Namjoon being Namjoon, he nods anyway. "Just... finals. You know how it is."

Jungkook smirks. "Can't relate."

I shoot him a look. "That's because you have the study habits of a cockroach."

Jungkook shrugs, entirely unbothered. "Hey, cockroaches survive everything."

Namjoon barely reacts, just exhales tiredly. "I should go. Still have three chapters to get through before my next class."

Jungkook looks as if he saw a dinosaur. "Is this some rich kid stuff?"

"Jungkook...that's called studying," I say with zero emotion.

He lifts his arms in a motion that makes me read his mind. "no need to get personal" would his exact words be.

After giving him a not-so-friendly look, he speaks again, "And when was the last time you slept?"

Namjoon pauses as if actually having to dig through his brain for the answer. That in itself is concerning.

I cross my arms. "Namjoon."

"Technically, I napped for twenty minutes on my desk," he says as if that's supposed to reassure me.

Jungkook grins. "Damn. That's worse than you, Y/N."

I ignore him. "Namjoon, you're going to pass out if you keep this up."

"I can't fail this class," he says, almost desperately. "If I don't-"

"Yeah, yeah, your entire academic career crumbles, and life as you know it ends," Jungkook deadpans. "We get it."

I shoot him another glare before turning back to Namjoon. "At least eat something," I insist. "We're getting food. Come with us."

Namjoon hesitates, glancing at his books like they might get up and walk away if he abandons them for too long.

Jungkook nudges him. "Come on, brainiac. You'll study better if you're actually conscious."

Namjoon sighs, rubbing a hand over his exhausted face. "Fine. But only for a little bit."

"See?" Jungkook grins, throwing an arm around Namjoon's shoulder as we walk out. "This is why we're friends. We save you from yourself."

Namjoon just groans. "I already regret this."

I laugh. "Too late."

***

Another few days had passed, making today a Friday. Normally, I would be happy, but I knew I would be studying the whole weekend without any break.

Or so I thought.

By the time the evening rolled around, my brain was already fried from staring at the same notes all day. My eyes felt like they were going to melt out of my skull, and the idea of spending another two days like this made me want to throw myself into oncoming traffic.

I sighed, stretching my arms over my head when my phone buzzed on my desk.

Jungkook: Get dressed. We're going out.

I frowned at the screen.

Me: No.

Jungkook: Yes.

Me: I have exams, and you too, idiot.

Jungkook: And you also have a life. Come on, just a few hours. You're going to fail if you burn out.

He wasn't wrong. Not that I was about to admit that.

Me: Where?

Jungkook: That's the spirit. I'll be outside in 10.

I groaned, rubbing my hands down my face. Was I really doing this? Was I really going to let Jungkook drag me out when I should be knee-deep in revision?

Apparently, yes.

With minimal effort, I threw on something decent, not bothering too much because, knowing Jungkook, we weren't going anywhere fancy.

When I stepped outside, he was already there, leaning against his bike like he had all the time in the world. He whistled when he saw me. "Hot."

I rolled my eyes. "This is a bad idea."

"Probably." He tossed me a helmet. "Come on."

I hesitated for exactly two seconds before sighing and climbing on behind him.

Jungkook didn't tell me where we were going, which should've been a red flag, but at this point, I was too tired to fight him. The city lights blurred past as we sped through the streets, the cool air against my skin waking me up more than caffeine ever could.

Eventually, we stopped in front of a small but crowded bar tucked between two buildings. The neon sign flickered slightly, and I could already hear the bass of whatever song was playing inside.

I raised an eyebrow. "Really? A bar? Again? This won't end up well."

Jungkook shrugged. "Thought you could use a drink."

I gave him an exhausted look. "Jungkook."

"It'll help, I promise."

I sighed. "Fine. One drink."

Inside, the place was packed with students who had also clearly given up on pretending to be responsible. The music wasn't deafening, but it was loud enough that conversations had to be spoken close. Jungkook led us to a booth in the corner, ordering drinks without even asking me what I wanted.

Minutes later, I was nursing a cold glass in my hands, already feeling some of the stress slipping away. Maybe Jungkook was onto something. Maybe I did need a break.

That's when I saw him.

Across the room, leaning against the bar, talking to some girl with an easy smirk. My ex. The ex who had fucked my so-called "friend" behind my back.

My stomach twisted. Because of course, of all places, of all nights, he had to be here too.

Jungkook followed my gaze, then leaned in slightly. "You okay?"

I swallowed, forcing a small smile. "Yeah. Totally."

Lies. Jungkook didn't look convinced. His eyes flickered between me and the scene unfolding across the bar, where my ex was now leaning in, whispering something in the girl's ear that made her giggle. My grip tightened around my glass.

"Want me to punch him?" Jungkook asked casually, taking a sip of his drink. He didn't know who this guy was, but he could tell that something had happened between us.

I snorted. "Tempting. But no."

He hummed, tilting his head. "I could just trip him on his way to the bathroom. Real subtle."

"Jungkook."

"What?" He shrugged. "Assholes deserve consequences."

I sighed, forcing myself to look away. I was over it. Or at least, I was supposed to be. It had been months since the breakup, and I had no business still feeling anything about it. But seeing him now, so unbothered, so fine, yeah, it stung.

Maybe it was less about him and more about the fact that I had spent so much time feeling like shit while he got to walk around acting like he never did anything wrong. Like I never even mattered.

"Hey," Jungkook said, nudging my knee with his. "You want to leave?"

I thought about it. I thought about bolting out the door, about locking myself in my room and pretending I never saw him. But then I imagined him seeing me do that. Imagined him thinking I still cared enough to let him ruin my night.

"No." I squared my shoulders. "I'm fine."

Jungkook watched me for a beat, then smirked. "Then let's make him uncomfortable."

I frowned. "What?"

But before I could fully process what was happening, Jungkook was moving closer, slinging an arm over the back of the booth behind me. His fingers brushed against my shoulder as he leaned in, his breath warm against my ear.

I tensed. "Jeon-"

He grinned. "Relax. Just making sure he sees you having a great time."

I rolled my eyes, but the corner of my mouth twitched. "You're ridiculous."

"Maybe." His smirk widened. "But you're smiling now."

Damn it. He was right.

And, because the universe has a twisted sense of humor, when I finally let myself relax, when I finally let Jungkook distract me, that's when my ex noticed us. I felt it before I saw it. That shift in the air, the weight of an unwelcome gaze settling on me.

Slowly, I turned my head, meeting his eyes across the bar.

His smirk faltered. His jaw tightened.

And I, just to be petty, leaned into Jungkook's touch, tilting my head slightly as I laughed at something he whispered in my ear.

My ex's expression darkened.

"Alright," Jungkook murmured, his voice dripping with amusement. "Now this is fun."

I took a slow sip of my drink, my eyes still locked with my ex's. His date was saying something to him, but he wasn't listening anymore. His focus was on me.

Jungkook chuckled, a low and amused sound. "He looks like he just bit into a lemon."

"Good," I muttered.

Jungkook tilted his head. "Want to really piss him off?"

I turned to him, raising an eyebrow. "What exactly are you suggesting?"

He smirked. "Come dance with me."

I hesitated. That was a dangerous idea. Jungkook was already dangerously attractive, and if we danced, really danced, there was no way my ex wouldn't take notice.

But wasn't that the whole point?

"Fine," I said, grabbing his hand and dragging him towards the dance floor before I could overthink it.

The music pulsed around us, the bass vibrating through the floor. The crowd moved as one, bodies pressed close, the air thick with heat and energy. Jungkook pulled me into him, his hands settling low on my waist as he moved to the beat.

"You sure you can handle this, Kook?" I teased, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He grinned. "You have no idea."

And then he really started dancing. Smooth, fluid movements that had me pressed flush against him, his hands guiding my hips in sync with his own. It was effortless, natural, the kind of chemistry that made the whole room fade away.

I knew my ex was watching. I felt his stare burning into my skin. And then, because I was feeling bold, reckless, and petty, I tipped my chin up, brushing my lips against Jungkook's ear.

"Kiss me," I whispered.

Jungkook stilled for half a second. Just a half second. Then his hands tightened on my waist, and he pulled me in, crashing his lips onto mine.

It wasn't soft. It wasn't careful. It was heat and tension and something electric. His fingers dug into my hips, pulling me closer, and I let out a sound I swore was just for effect. But then he deepened the kiss, one hand sliding up my back, and suddenly I wasn't thinking about my ex anymore.

I was only thinking about him.

The crowd pressed around us, bodies moving, music pounding, but all I could feel was Jungkook, his touch, his breath, the way he kissed me like he meant it.

When we finally pulled away, I was breathless. Jungkook's eyes were dark, unreadable, his chest rising and falling.

"Well," he murmured, lips ghosting against mine. "That should do it."

I blinked, momentarily forgetting what it even was. But then I caught a glimpse of my ex storming toward the exit, and I smirked. Maybe this whole friends with benefits wasn't a bad thing after all. To be honest, this man can kiss, and holy shit, the things I would do to feel these lips again.

"Mission accomplished."

Jungkook laughed, shaking his head. "You're trouble."

I shrugged. "You knew that already."

He hummed, eyes dropping to my lips. "Yeah. But I think I like it."

Jungkook's eyes flickered to my lips again, his tongue darting out to wet his own like he was contemplating something. My heart was still hammering against my ribs, my skin buzzing in a way that had nothing to do with the alcohol. And the worst part? I didn't want it to stop.

"Wanna get out of here?" Jungkook murmured, his voice low, intimate, just for me.

I should have said no. I should have laughed it off, pushed him away, made some joke to diffuse whatever the hell was happening between us.

But I didn't.

Instead, I nodded. "Yeah. Let's go."

His smirk deepened, and before I could second-guess myself, he was grabbing my hand and leading me through the throng of people. I barely registered the bodies we brushed past, the music pounding in my ears. My focus was only on him, the warmth of his hand, the way his grip tightened slightly like he was making sure I wouldn't change my mind.

Outside, the cool night air hit me like a slap, sobering but not enough to shake off the way Jungkook was looking at me. Like I was something he wanted to devour.

"So..." he drawled, leaning against his bike, watching me with that lazy smirk. "What now?"

I swallowed. I should go home. I should get back to my notes, to my exams, to my sanity. But I wasn't thinking straight. I stepped closer, reaching for his jacket, fingers curling around the fabric. "Take me home." His smirk faltered for just a second, his dark eyes searching mine. And then—

"Yeah," he exhaled, voice rough. "Okay."

The ride back was a blur. I barely felt the wind against my skin, and barely noticed the city lights flashing past. All I could focus on was the warmth of Jungkook's body in front of me, the way my arms were wrapped around his torso, my fingers clutching at his shirt.

By the time we reached my place, I was already breathless. I slid off the bike, turning to face him. He didn't move, just sat there, watching me like he was waiting for me to say something.

"Come inside," I said before I could stop myself.

His eyes darkened. "You sure?"

I nodded.

He killed the engine, swung his leg over, and followed me inside without another word. The door had barely clicked shut before he was on me. His hands were everywhere, gripping my waist, sliding up my back, threading into my hair as his lips crashed onto mine again, hungrier this time. I gasped against his mouth, my fingers tugging at his jacket, and he groaned, deep and low, before shrugging it off.

"This is a bad idea. I have to study," I muttered against his lips.

Jungkook grinned. "Fuck it."

And then we weren't talking anymore. His lips were insistent, pressing against mine like he had something to prove like this was something inevitable. My back hit the door, his hands skimming down my sides, fingers gripping just tight enough to make my breath catch.

I should stop this.

But then he exhaled against my skin, his lips trailing along my jaw, and suddenly, stopping felt like the last thing I wanted to do.

"Let me take all your stress away," Jungkook murmured against my collarbone, his voice low, and rough, his hands slipping beneath my shirt's hem.

I grabbed fistfuls of his t-shirt, dragging him closer, pulling him into me until there was no space left between us. I felt his smirk before he kissed me again, deep and slow this time like he was savoring it. Like he knew exactly what he was doing to me.

Somewhere in the mess of limbs and heat, we stumbled toward my couch. The backs of his knees hit the edge, and he let himself fall, pulling me down with him. I was sitting on his lap, and his dark eyes locked onto mine.

"Want to fuck you so bad," he murmured.

"Stop talking" I whispered back, my fingers tracing up his neck.

Jungkook's jaw tightened, his eyes flickering between mine before he kissed me again. I started feeling him growing harder underneath me, making me let out a soft moan. Without thinking any further, my hips started grinding against his slowly. Jungkook let out a muffled "fuck" against my lips before his tattooed hand trailed down to my ass.

Another moan escaped my mouth when I felt him gripping my ass.

"I'll come if you continue making these noises," his voice is husky, making me wetter than I was before.

I couldn't think straight as soon as his other hand started massaging my breasts. At that moment, I knew I was fucked. At that moment, I knew he had me wrapped around his finger, and holy shit, I hated it. I hated that he had this much power over me right now. That if he would stop, I'd beg him to continue.

"Fuck, Koo," my whines brought out a low groan out of him, and our movements became faster. 

His hand left my ass and went up to stroke my hair. My head fell on his shoulder while my breathing became more uneven.

"I'm so close baby" Jungkook brings out before he said, "Fuck you're so perfect".

A loud whine escaped my mouth and my fingers tightened around the fabric of his shirt. And a few moments later, we both came. I should've said something. I should've broken the tension, made some jokes, and kept things light before my brain caught up with my body and started overthinking everything. 

Instead, Jungkook beat me to it.

"Shit," he muttered, "That was..."

"Yeah," I exhaled, turning my head to look at him. 

Silence stretched between us, not exactly uncomfortable, but definitely charged. His fingers traced lazy patterns against my skin, absentminded but deliberate.

"Are we going to pretend this didn't happen?" I asked finally, forcing some kind of normalcy into my voice.

Jungkook tilted his head toward me, his lips twitching into something almost amused. "Do you want to pretend it didn't happen?"

I opened my mouth, ready to say yes, ready to make this easy, but then he dragged his fingers up my side, his touch featherlight, and my body betrayed me with a shiver.

His smirk deepened. "That's what I thought."

I groaned, burying my face in the crook of his neck. "You're insufferable."

"And yet, you dry-humped me."

I moved my head to glare at him again. "This doesn't mean anything."

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. "Sure."

I huffed. "I'm serious. This was just... stress relief. A one-time thing."

"Right."

"Jungkook."

"Y/N."

I narrowed my eyes. He was enjoying this way too much.

"Whatever," I muttered, suddenly exhausted.

Jungkook chuckled. "If you say so."

Silence again, but this time, it felt heavier.  I should tell him to leave. I should establish some kind of boundary before this got messy.

But I didn't.

"Wanna stay?" I said instead, and the next thing I remember is him lying beside me in only sweatpants.

[somecosmic-typashit]

The more desperate you are to control something, and the more you try to do it, it's out of your control. - "You shouldn't feel need to do it, but will and want"

I enjoy talking to myself like this (February 3rd 2025.)

One time I saw someone comment "But if you really control your reality, why can't I control weather than, huh???" Under Law of assumption and shifting post...

The thing is, the weather is part of reality or an illusion, you can control it as long as you assume you can or become aware that you can, including how drastic the change of weather can be (obviously). Although you're controlling it even now, just unconsciously.

I like to mess with weather often and treat it like little practice for my subconscious mind to make it easier for myself to accept the fact that everything is limitless if I want it to be. Like, if it says there's 80% of chance for raining and that there's high chance it will rain whole day, I just go with assumption that is more easier for my mind to comprehend such as: "it will stop in hour or sooner and it won't rain again today" After that, I do something distracting such as scrolling on my phone for example, to forget about it and move on, that way I set my mind to accept it faster because I can't overthink it or doubt it, which makes it manifest instantly, since there's no extra thoughts that can overtake dominance instead of whole goal I wanted to achieve.

And of course, the wanted end results appear just like I knew they will.

The more often I did those little experiments, I came to conclusion that you absolutely don't need to repeat affirmations, you just have to say it once and once you do, it's already done. You show control over your emotions and thoughts that way, the first and most important thing is to learn how to control your own self. Control the beliefs you have, control what you'll let go off, control what you'll forget about, control how you'll react, control the thoughts you choose to think about often, control emotions you decided to feel, control your actions and control what you want to listen to. It all gives you advantage of controlling reality and changing it, because it's you that you have to change, since reality is reflection of who you choose to be. If you already knew it was done long time ago and that you already have your desire or that you're experiencing it right now. You wouldn't repeat affirmations mindlessly like a robot while thinking the complete opposite of them and silently dismissing them.

When you see that all of this is pure nothingness, including yourself. You will realize that being nothing is everything. As you look at all physical things you see at subatomic level, they don't exist, they're originally made of nothing. It's all shape and form of illusion, not true essence. That's why you don't need anything, because you are everything.

[bringmeanangel]

Spiral

A/n: This is part 2 of One Too Many. One day I'll figure out how to make a masterlist and organize things.

Paring: Spencer and Reader tags/warnings: anxiety attack. spiraling reader. doubting. Overthinking. caring Spencer Reid. extremely irrational thinking. Like totally makes no sense. Good girl is used. Mention of childhood traurma. Synopsis: you tell your mom that your not applying to that job and she gets in your head. Spencer calms you down

You had been feeling better since Spencer helped you the other day. However you went to visit your mom and she asked you if you were applying to the job and you told her no.

The look on her face, made you feel guilty, even though you had nothing to feel guilty about. You told her that you had things lined up and she she reminded you that you didn't apply to any festival that overlapped.

You told her that you applied to others once you found out that you didn't get into the one festival that was hiring. She was letting up and get trying to get you to apply.

She was still unware that you were working on two more applications and you weren't going to tell her.

On your way home, you started to think about everything. How you promised yourself you were going to apply to anything. That you really didn't want this and you knew they weren't going to take you.

That being said, what if you didn't apply to this, maybe it would start some weird cosmic shift and by not applying to this, then the other opportunities wouldn't happen.

You knew that this made no sense at all. That it was irrational thinking, but once the spiral started, you couldn't get out of it.

You entered the apartment, not really paying attention. You dropped your bag and threw your coat on the chair, toeing off your shoes. Spencer called your name, but you didn't hear him.

You made your way to the shared bedroom and grabbed your laptop. You turned and jumped a little bit when your boyfriend was standing there.

"Love, what's going on?" he asked, taking you in.

He furrowed his brow when he saw the despondent look in your eyes. It was like you were looking right through him. He sighed and cupped your face, thumbs rubbing your temples. Your eyes couldn't focus.

"Angel" he cooed, trying to get your attention. "Eyes on me. Look at me, love." your eyes kept shifting around, you let out a small whine. "Can you hear me?" his voice was steady, but he was trying not to sound panicked.

"Mmm" you got out, trying to nod.

"Good. That's good. Can you look at me please?"

Your eyes met his for a second and then darted around again. You gripped tight to your laptop, not wanting to let it go. What was he asking? Oh, right.

You locked eyes with him again, seeing brown eyes softly looking at you. You closed your eyes and tried to focus on his thumbs now massaging your temples.

"Good girl" he spoke quietly, when he felt you relax a bit. "Let's put the laptop down, yeah?" and you nodded, eyes still closed.

With one hand Spencer took your computer and placed it back on the desk. You still kept your arms tight to you, as if you were still holding it.

Spencer firmly wrapped his hands around your wrists. Not tugging your arms, but hoped the pressure would help you let go of the tension. You squeezed your eyes tight. Spencer rested his forehead agaisnt yours.

"You're safe." he spoke.

You opened your eyes, looking down, too embarrassed to look at him. He watched as your shoulders dropped. He reached a hand up and cupped your cheek stroking his thumb against it.

"I spiraled" you whispered.

"Can you tell me why?"

"Well-"

"Are you able to look at me while you do so?" He noticed your lip quiver. "Angel, you don't need to feel ashamed or embarrassed about what just happened. I am here for you. I would never judge."

"Ca-can I not look at you while I tell you?"

"okay, sweetheart"

Spencer listened as you told him everything. He knew that the guilt, was part of a childhood trauma and how ld sometimes your mom would say "If you do this, then I will give you this" So, he could see why this was hard.

"Thank you for telling me that. You still have time to apply, should you choose to do it. However, right now I'm going to help you change into your comfy sweats and I'm going to hold you."

"Thank you" you said barely audible.

"Always."

Spencer lead you over to your bed and undid your jeans and pulled your top off, before helping you out of your pants. He helped you into your sweatpants and grabbed one of his shirts for you to wear.

He turned the heating blanket on and had you crawl under. He then changed into his comfy clothes and got under the covers pulling you tight.

Your head rested on his chest and he rubbed your back. You felt warm, safe and loved.

[moirindeclermont]

Bridgerton folks, ready for the last part? After finish this one, I'll put it on ao3 too. I'll make sure to link it when it is ready.

For now, enjoy this last part!

---

The trust Pen has in him means the world to him. Knowing that she loves him just as much as he loves her makes his heart sing. He just feel in his bones that his decision to marry her is the right one.

He is so happy to share this intimacy with her, and he can't wait to discover everything there is to discover with her at his side.

He touches her with his fingers again, just for a moment, to make sure she is wɜt and ready for him. She moans when his fingers gets inside her, "Colin, I want you."

He moans in response, his own cōck ready. Before he overthinks too much, he takes himself in hand, and very slowly enters her.

She looks at him in awe as pushes carefully inside her warmth.

He has to steady himself for a minute and he is sure Pen appreciate him waiting a beat as well.

"How does it feel?" He asks because he is curious.

She smiles. "Wonderful!"

"Did it hurt?"

"I wouldn't say painful. Uncomfortable maybe, at first. But soon enough, it disappeared. Though...now..."

"What?"

He hopes it isn't to uncomfortable for her now.

"Now I really need you to move, Colin."

Colin chuckles. "Very well!"

Pen feel him giving little thrust, made more to make her use to his length.

"More, Colin!"

And then, finally, something snaps as he starts to give her powerful, deep thrust that leaves her breathless.

She is so grateful that it is Colin indeed the person whom with she is sharing this experience with.

This powerful feeling that makes her feel vulnerable and without control.

She should be scared. She is not because she trust Colin.

She looks at him and caresses his cheek. He is moaning as wildly as she is, and as their bodies find there rhythm, she can't help but kiss him with all the love she feels for him.

She is a writers and a good one if she may say so, yet nothing can describe the feeling of closeness she experience in that moment with Colin.

Feeling him inside her, his body over her, his mouth blabbering little non sense in her ear. A thought pass through her "this is what love and being loved feels like".

Then, suddenly, there is no space for thoughts anymore as her everything gets filled with pleasure.

Her release is both physical and emotional. Colin's must be too, giving how he is kissing her, a languid smile on his mouth and some tears in his eyes.

They hare wife and husband, according to the law of nature, and Pen discovers that she cares more about this marriage than the one they will have for their family sakes.

Colin is still on top of her, but he is not crashing her. He is giving her little kisses on every part he can reach, delirious with happiness.

"What are you thinking?" He asks after some minutes.

She chokes a bit in responding: "That I knew it would be like this. That I would wait a thousand more years if I had to. That I'm glad I've found you so soon in this lifetime."

Colin smiles, that crazy smile that makes her heart skip a bit.

"I guess that's what you can expect to hear when you're about to marry a writer."

She looks at him, perplexed.

"I had to much time on my hand, since you don't answer my letter... And I started rereading them again. Then, by chance, I had an issue of lady Whistledown in my luggage, and when I read it out of boredom... Your voice is so distinctive Pen."

She imagined that he would be angry.

"I was angry for a while. But then I had time and now I'm just proud that my future wife is the most renowned author across Mayfair." He said kissing her again.

They married two weeks after that night, welcoming a baby boy after nine months.

Pen, in her vows to him, wrote "sometimes the best thing in life happens when you have nothing left than the courage to ask".

The end

[thecanalsarefreezing]

thats gonna haunt me for a while wont it

[ramblingoak]

Man if my brain could just shut the fuck up I’d be able to get a lot more done.

[maiyuyuns]

hi to whoever saw the haruka (ft muu) art process screenshot thing…

i apologize if you saw it as harumuu shipart and found it LIKE WEIRD, i have no intentions of drawing them together like that…. The screenshot was SO OUT OF CONTEXT IM SO SORRY.. I SEE WHY ITD LOOK LIKE HARUMUU ART. (i know in that process post i said i dint ship them but i keep overthinking based off the ss alone)

that now written i rushed to complete the little comic whatever meme thing… so as to like PREVENT PEOPLE FROM THINKING ITS HARUMUU ART

im not even gonna color this.. i felt so shameful for making this so out of context (the first pic)

[luck-of-the-drawings]

TRAINING ARC: START!! BOTHER YOUR GUARDIAN AND EXHIBIT ISSUES. NOW SOLVE THOSE ISSUES BY BOTHERING GUARDIANS. I HAVE FULL FAITH IN OUR HEROS!

[blackcurrant-juice]

back in septmeber i got some kind of attack in the middle of lab so they sent me to the ER because they didn't want to take chances with me dying from chemicals but still made me pay the hospital fees myself. then i still had to go back the next week to finish my lab. then bad news happened last week and my. lab report is so fucking late. all these penalties. it will be worth fucking nothing. what did i go to the ER for they should have just let me die there #tbh