#thing is it’s been so many years since I watched a mew mew…..

[silencedrowns]

I wound up buying a Tokyo Mew Mew maid costume pattern to save time with an entirely different maid costume (it’s almost identical from the waist up) but well… I have a Tokyo Mew Mew maid cafe uniform pattern…………..

[harrysmimi]

DO IT AGAIN!

Synopsis: A day life of a husband of 11 years; A shortie Blurb.

More of my work

Harry and YN have been together for 11 years, believe it or not, and married for six years out of them, with three kids.

They're as in love with one another as day one.

Many still root for them to break up one day. Especially since both of them are in public eye so much, Harry being the new pop star and YN being director and former actress.

YN have decided to rather to not let anything phase her and just be happy in her very happy relationship. Especially now with their three kiddos.

YN decided to make a Reels videos. She stayed away from Tiktok but Instagram is equally addicting. She had set up her phone on a tripod she once bought to use for her Vogue skin care routine video and it was abandoned since then. It was before the pandemic when she didn't had any kids. She was stood in the hallway by the master bedroom door, testing a few shots on her phone.

"Oh am I in your way?" Harry caught her attention, he'd come back from dropping the kids at YN's parents' as they both wanted to have alone time. The camera was already rolling.

"No!" She gasped in excitement. "Come here, I need you!"

"We're going to film it this time?" He raised his eye brow with a cocky smirk on his face as he padded closer to her, "and they said romance is dead."

"Oh shush!" She stopped him. "I'm making a Reel. I want you to do something."

"What do you want me to do?" He stood in front of her, basically towering her as how tall he is.

"I want you to do that romance book boyfriend thing, where he grabs the girl by the waist and lifts her chin with his finger." She beamed at him at like an idiot, excited idiot to be exact. She showed him how to, wrapping her own arm around his waist and failing to follow up with the rest of the part.

The thing is, YN have been now addicted to reading, Porn on paper kinda romance novels. It wasn't surprising for him as she'd keep sending him these videos saying, she's adding those to the her to be read pile. Let's be honest the girl is horrible at keeping up with the lists, so whatever helps her.

And Harry likes to feed into her mew obsessions, he bought her a Kindle just because. Whatever makes her happy, is his motto. And she don't have to wait for the book to arrive in the mail anymore.

"God why did I saw this coming?" He chuckled, but followed through.

He wrapped his left arm around her waist pulling her flush against his chest as he pinned her to the wall, forefinger under her chin as he gently lift her head until their eyes met, staring for a few seconds as he slowly pressed a feathery kiss on her mouth. That was cherry on tip!

That really made her go weak in her knees and she almost fell on her bum if it wasn't for him holding onto her. He laughed adoringly at her reaction.

"You're adorable!" He managed to say between his giggles as he carefully stepped away from her, watching her go all red and nervous.

"Do it again!" She exclaimed whilst dying sheepishly. And he did.

It was hilarious this time though because YN kept squealing and somehow turned more red. He still had that effect on her. Harry placed a tender kiss on her cheek before he was reaching to stop the recording on her phone and he was carrying her into their bedroom.

"Now I don't want you to wake up in the middle of the night to show me something your imaginary boyfriend did." He placed her on their bed as he kneed his way forward to hover over her.

Yeah, she wakes him up more than their kids wake him up at night. They're all boys and Mummy is their favourite, as traditionally cliche it sounds, it's truth.

And to her advantage he's better in bed that any of the book boyfriends. She missed it, especially when there are two toddler knocking on their door in the middle of the night asking to sleep in their bed, a baby who needs diaper change and milk every three hours. Life is hectic.

"Oh that's never going to stop." She challenged him.

"Yeah? Well the good thing we dropped off the kids at your parents' today, isn't it?" He smirked cheekily as he dipped his head down to smear his mouth on hers.

And oh boy, oh boy, did she had a euphorically tiring afternoon!

......................................................................

N O T E:

Oh my god! Did I loved writing this!!!! 😭

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Tag list:

@vrittivsanghavi @buckymydarlingangel @sweetwritingfanficfriend @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @sleutherclaw @melllinaa @michellekstyles @sunshinemoonsposts @marialikescherries @japanchrry @onlyangelrain @originalsoulcollector @harrysgirl-1d @lomlhstyles @im-an-overthinker

Lemme know if you want to added to the tag list

[phlurrii]

Out of curiosity, what does the psychic cat fam exactly do out there? (This doesn’t have to be exclusive to just now, also could have been just Meau, Noe, and Mew) Aside from vibing. They live in a paradise where food isn’t a concern and nothing with a brain would try to hurt them. Do they play fight? Teach the youngin’s their future jobs? Have games? Maybe some swipped books to read? Explore the world outside of their tree for funsies? See who can steal as many goodies from human society without getting caught?

I know it’s silly but I like the “filler” of things. To think about what characters are doing when the “plot” isn’t being progressed. It’s part of why I like the slice-of-life genre from time to time. Life isn’t always an adventure or fight against some opposing force, but it can still be fun!

I agree, I’m honestly a bit upset with myself, given how long each update takes I never noticed I wasn’t adding in enough filler. Something I plan to fix once we’re in Noe’s arc, as we are sadly, or luckily? Way too close to beginning it to shove any sudden filler in. For now I’m blaming it on first time story telling and having to do art school on the side X3

As for the gang, Meau did fly a little bit off the handle due to not having a lot of stimulation when she was younger before Noe showed up. As for what they did/do, for reasons that’ll become clear later; they mostly talked in the early days!

She would show off her creations, abilities, transformations, and forming ecosystems to him. He would ask about as many questions as one would with a new world and she thrived off it. They would watch other Pokémon’s life in secret like it was a soap opera, sometimes intervening to make it more interesting or admittedly have it lean towards the ending they wanted. Usually betting and taking opposing sides as to what would happen.

Battling is a particular big one for Meau, she loves to get down and dirty with other legendaries and mythicals even if she has the power advantage. Most often fighting with her brothers, she wouldn’t be above transforming into the Pokémon she was fighting to even out the playing field, or even change her type so she was inherently weaker to it. It’s why she’s never been against human with their Pokémon battles, battling is an innate part of her creations and herself.

Missingno. on the other hand loves to explore, even with his age, he knows the world is in a constant state or change and ventures off on his own to explore it. He’s not nearly as against humans as Meau and has explored their cities and settlements. Most intrigue by their computers/technology nowadays and how he’s able to to interact with them. Meau has explored with him on occasion, but prefers to stay away.

I’d also imagine they like to race in very difficult conditions. High up in the atmosphere or just outside in the actual vacuum of space. Deep in the ocean, forcing them to make their own path through rock and stone. Which probably pisses off the weather trio invading all 3 of their areas, but that leads perfectly into the next one.

They love to piss off the other legendaries, because… well, what can they do?

There has been more then on tropical storm, tsunami, volcanic eruption, and general disaster caused by the Ancients pestering another powerful legend. Lastly, they sleep, if the current time is too boring, peaceful, or simply there is nothing to do that interests them… they’ll sleep for a couple thousand years.

As for more current day stuff, it’s much tamer since Bucket was taken, Meau woke up from a much needed thousands years nap to a very different world. Humans had well established themselves even further, technology exists, and they can clone/create pokemon. So she is staying in the tree with her suddenly growing family, just to watch. She wants to know what everything’s up too from a distance given they’ve somehow managed to trap and almost kill another mew, make a Mewtwo, and possibly a second one.

So she’s just always watching human society from the tree, whilst also teaching and nurturing Odysseus. He spends more of his time exploring the tree and occasional testing out powers. With Meau’s assistance. The trees massive and filled with Pokémon, so he’s got quite the endless bit of entertainment. Decamark is the newest edition and thus follows a lot of what Ody does! Though Noe has been poking them, figuratively, with a stick to figure out what he’s capable of.

[cardierreh15]

Love You Up Close

***I do not give anyone permission to copy or repost my work!!!

Warnings 18+: Cursing , Little bit of Angst & Small Mention of Death — other than that — Fluff , Fluff , So much sweetness it’ll make your teeth rot!

Pairing: August Walker x Bianca (Black!OC)

Description: August is tired of Loving his woman from afar.

Song: Car Outside by James Arthur , To Build A Home by The Cinematic Orchestra

Word Count: 2.3K

Side Note: This Head Cannon was inspired by my husband & I. We celebrated our 6 year anniversary on the 15th and I wanted to write something beautiful. ✨🩵🥹

Tags: @headcannonxgalore @milknhonies @augustsprincess

I love you too. I will call you when this is over I promise.

She stared at the final text message he’d sent her. Her throat felt as if a lump was making the attempt to suffocate her all while she felt this great weight on her shoulders.

Bianca knew what her boyfriend August did for a living. She knew it was a dangerous job and his chances of making it out alive somehow grew slimmer with each mission. She couldn’t help but think that this time was it. Someone finally bested him.

She didn’t want to think like that but it had been 3 weeks since they spoke last. The poor girl would answer any unfamiliar number hoping it was him just calling from landline or a pay phone.

Nothing.

Her alarm had spooked her out of her thoughts, causing her to blink back to her current reality. She was sitting at her desk in front of her computer. Bianca worked from home and though she found it very convenient, it sucked when the man she loved wasn’t here with her. It just gave her too much time and too much room to dwell.

She looked at the time, it was 3:10PM. At least she was closer to the end than the beginning… but the time… the time aches her in the most wretched way possible. The closer it was for her to get off, the closer it was for the day ending… another day without him.

As the minute changed, she felt that choking feeling in her throat once again. Her mind felt even heavier and her eyes became a gateway of tears. The more Bianca sobbed, the more heavy her shoulders became. Her chest began to tighten and her breathing became shallow and uneven.

‘August… please.’ She mewed out in pain as she gripped her shirt. ‘I miss you so much… please come back to me.’

***

Bianca started off the next morning on a rather lighter note. She went for a jog and watched the sunrise. Then, she came back in and made herself breakfast and took a shower. She washed and conditioned her hair before brushing it up into a ponytail. Afterwards, she did her skin care and got dressed in something comfortable.

All of these things made her feel better… or so she thought. It just busied her for a little bit because now that she was sitting back in front of her desktop… she was thinking about him again. So she instantly grabbed her phone and searched her photos; finding the many silly and sweet photos they’d shared together.

It stung a little, but the beauty of those pictures outshined the pain she was feeling on the inside. They made her smile.

After a while, she was able to work just fine. Nothing could stop her now!

Peaking out her window, she noticed this big moving truck driving by. She ain’t pay it no mind at first. People move in and out of these townhome apartments all the time. But she did find it a little odd when the driver parked in front of her driveway.

‘What the hell? Oh uh-uh!’

She scrambled up out of her office chair and made her way downstairs in a hurry. She unlocked her front door so fast and damn near pulled it off of the hinges!

‘Hey!’ She rushed down the 3 steps and walked down her driveway, ‘Hey! Can you move your shit from in front of my front door?!’

The driver didn’t say anything, instead the sound of the door in the back of the truck could be heard rolling up.

Their silence built up rage inside of her. ‘Alright! How about I call the police and have you arrested for trespassing?!’ Bianca pulled out her phone and brought up her dial pad. She’d already pressed in the numbers, she’d just had yet to hit the green button.

‘Well why would you wanna call the cops on me?’

That voice. The voice she loved and adored. The voice she would follow in complete darkness.

He crept around the corner and folded his arms across his chest before leaning against the moving truck.

‘Aug-August.’ Her voice was already masked in tears, instantly coming to the conclusion that her mind was simply betraying her. Was she seeing things?

‘BB.’ A small and warm smile curled upward on his lip, causing that dimple to carve into his 5 o’clock shadow.

She’d pressed her hands against her chest, the instinct of catching it just in case it broke. Her eyes erupted in tears. ‘Baby.’ She croaked out.

August pushed his weight off of the truck and rushed over to wrap her up into his arms. ‘Shhh… I’m here baby.’ He rested his chin on top of her head as he gently rubbed her back. ‘I’ve missed you too.’

Bianca wrapped her arms around his neck securely when their bodies collided. She pressed her face flat into his chest, inhaling his soft refreshing scent that clouded all of her senses.

Her man was really here. Finally.

She had pulled her face away to look up at him. The early morning sun had caused this glorious twinkle to shine in his cobalt blue eyes.

He caressed his thumb over her wet cheeks, ‘I’m sorry I haven’t been able to get back to you. I figured you’d prefer to see me anyway.’

Bianca sniffed, ‘You could’ve at least told me you were okay Auggy! I was worried sick about you.’

‘I know… but that’s all going to end. Right now. You won’t have to worry about me ever again pretty soon.’

Her brows tugged into one as she sniffed, ‘What are you talking about?’ Then she glanced at the moving truck, ‘What is this about August?’

August looked back at the truck once and then looked down at her once again.

‘Bianca, I’m tired. I’m tired of spending weeks without speaking to you. I’m tired of going months without waking up next to you. I’m tired of us trying to see one another… we don’t have to live like that. Like this. I want to be able to come home every night and kiss you and tell you about my day. I want to be able to touch you when I want. I’m sick of being without you, BB.’

‘Wh-‘ The heaviness that sat on Bianca’s shoulders had somewhat subsided. But that tightening still had her chest strung up. ‘What are you saying?!’

August let out a gentle sigh, ‘Bianca, I want you to come back with me… I want you to come home.’

Bianca blinked once at his words. ‘You want— you want me to do what?!’

‘I want you to move back to Washington with me. Look, I know it’s sudden… I know it may seem crazy but I want this…don’t you?!’

She did. But she also had a life here in Georgia too.

‘August, I just can't get up and drop everything like that. What about my lease?! My family?’

‘Bi, I will break the lease, you know that’s not a problem for me… And I talked to your parents… they—‘ he paused, feeling a great deal of nervousness sit upon his own shoulders now. ‘They gave me their blessing…��

Her brows tugged into one. Never had a man have to ask a woman’s parents for their blessing to move in with their daughter.

‘Oh lord, August. You just gave them all the opportunity to be up in our business!’ She placed her hand on her forehead.

‘That’s not what I mean…’ he paused as he took her left hand into his.

Bianca’s face was ridden with confusion until he grabbed her hand in the softest touch. A touch no man had ever given her. ‘August— what are you doing?’ Her heart began to beat so fast.

‘Doing what I should’ve done a long time ago. Please.’

August reached in his pocket, pulling out a small black box before slowly descending on his knee.

Bianca breathed in sharply before she whipped her head around, searching for a camera crew to come out and tell her she was being punk’d or something. But nobody… only a few people standing around in front of their houses watching the beautiful and intimate moment unfold before their very eyes.

‘I’ve been wanting to do this ever since I laid eyes on you. It was easy… My career, it was easy to just leave and not have to worry about someone or not answer to someone. I could’ve died and not a single soul would’ve cared. But when we got together, all of that changed. Every time I had to leave you… I died more and more inside. I don’t want to live like that anymore. I don’t wanna live without you. You’re my sunshine, Bi-Bi. My lifeline.’ He’d opened the small black box, revealing a beautiful diamond ring.

‘Oh—‘ she became a sobbing mess, covering her mouth as she tried to muffle the sounds.

‘Please… Marry Me and I promise you’d never have to be another day without me.’ His eyes glossed over with tears, fear written each crevice and pattern.

Bianca wiped her drippy nose with the wrist of her sweater and sniffed. She paused for a second before a laugh escaped her lips.

‘Yes. Yes! I will marry you!’

The air that August held on so tightly in his chest had finally been set free in relief. ‘Oh thank God!’ He chuckled as he pulled the ring out of the box and slipped it on her finger.

Standing to his feet, he wrapped his arms around her waist as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He spun her around joyfully as they erupted with laughter. They could hear cheering and whistling from nearby neighbors.

Placing her back on her feet, he grinned, ‘Does this mean you’ll be moving to DC with me after all?’ His head fell to the side.

Bianca giggled as she placed her hands on his chest, ‘I guess so.’

‘Good.’ August said softly as he leaned down to meet her in a blissful kiss. A kiss that they’d both longed for what had seemed like centuries. But none of that mattered anymore. They no longer needed to worry about the past, what their future had in store for them.

***

8 years later…

August now worked for the FBI simply pushing paperwork. Since being married and having a family, he realized how much he enjoyed living. So he gave up the life of danger and what ifs. And opted for something more mundane and simple.

Bianca picked a career she loved ever since she was a little girl. She taught History/Social Studies for 2nd grade at the local elementary school.

They also shared 2 beautiful daughters. Sarah who was 6 years old and Lucía who’d just turned 3 in the recent month.

This was the life they deserved.

Bianca had just finished up with dinner. It was now time to announce to her family that it was time to pack up the pool for the day.

August was body slamming the girls in the pool, making dramatic crashing sounds with his mouth as they squealed for dear life! Though it looked a little rough to Bianca, the girls were laughing so they were having more than a good time.

But moms always had to ruin the fun.

‘August!’

He stopped, holding little Lucía upside down by her ankle and Sarah on his back. ‘What?’

‘You don’t think you’re playing a little rough with the girls?’ She asked with a sly smirk curled up on her lips.

He paused and looked at Lucía who was giggling and flaying her tiny arms around. Then he looked over his shoulder at Sarah who was still trying her damndest to climb on top of his shoulder.

‘You mean they’re playing rough with me.’ He snickered as he flipped Lucía the right way up.

‘Of course you’d say that. Come on inside, dinner is ready.’

‘Awww mooom!’ Sarah whined out and swam over to the edge of the pool. ‘Just a little bit longer?’

‘Peeeasss mommy?!’ Lucía begged, pouting out her bottom lip and batting those thick lashes.

They were so beautiful. Both sporting brown untamed curls. Sarah had her father’s blue eyes with that blotch of hazel in it while Lucía had brown eyes and was every spitting image of her mother. They both made up both of their parents very nicely. They were absolutely perfect.

‘I’m afraid not girls. Look, we can come back out tomorrow when daddy get off of work alright?’

‘Awww man.’ Lucía groaned as they swam to the steps and stepped out of the pool.

‘Hey it’s whatever mama says, girls. Pool water ain’t gonna disappear and it will be hot enough to bring y'all back out for another swim tomorrow.’ He added on as he followed the girls out the pool.

Mom and Dad got them wrapped up in towels and began to dry them off so they didn’t track the water into the house.

‘Go upstairs and get ready for a bath, girls.’

‘Yes sir!’ They said in sync and left their parents poolside.

Bianca smiled up at him as she snatched his beach towel off the table and began to dry out his hair. Then she handed it off to him. And there she was, staring at him as if it were the very first time she’s ever seen him.

August did his best to dry himself off but eventually just wrapped his towel around his waist. He looked up to see her staring at him and a bright pink hue burned his cheeks.

‘What?’

‘Nothing just… we really did get our happily ever after huh?’

August smiled warmly, grabbing her hand and placing a kiss against her knuckles.

‘Y’know… I think we did.’

[rocketturtle4]

Only Friends, Shipping Culture, Cross-Generational Differences, Themes and Endgame

Strap in, folks. This is a long one.

What finally pushed me to make this post was a very interesting discourse between @lurkingshan, @waitmyturtles, and @twig-tea here around the way this show has subverted norms to a lesser extent than first hoped and how the fans themselves, and the creator’s interactions with these fans, have impacted the creation and completion of the show, as well as the way themes built through the series may now feel less clear after the latest episode.

I wanted to offer my understanding and perspective because it differs somewhat, but it is also very much informed by this post and the larger Tumblr discourse around Only Friends and shipping culture that this show has sparked. I will note, for the record, that I have been much busier since about episode 5 of OF than I had been for the first episodes (or than I was for BMF), so I have missed a lot more of the fascinating discourse that this show has sparked than I would wish.

Let’s do this.

Shipping Culture

I had never heard of this before joining Tumblr this year (in May) despite watching 50 BLs before that, due to being completely disengaged from the actors as individuals prior to joining Tumblr, and while Tumblr has opened my eyes to how much fanservice is part of these people’s lives and jobs and the problems surrounding that phenomenon. I remain largely disengaged from the actors personally. I do not have Twitter, Tik Tok or Instagram, I rarely watch BTS and even my revelation that First is the most beautiful man ever to exist (and I say that as a person who is both aro and ace) has only got me to watch one First & Khao Armshare interview (The Eclipse one). I have also never purchased merch or event tickets so I am in fact, not a good fan in terms of profit making or engagement.

I do, however, love the shows an awful lot and may engage with BTS more once I have fewer things to watch…

All this to say is that my firsthand knowledge of such things is limited at best, but I am still here to say:

I think Only Friends is doing excellent things here, even if all the ‘couples’ end up together.

Is it burning them to the ground like so many hoped? No, but I have watched 47 Thai BLs at this stage and not many of them explored relationships beyond the pairs in any way, shape or form, and OF HAS DONE THAT.

Of our main six characters, NONE of them have only kissed their “other half.” They’ve literally all at least made out with one other person from the core six, and thus far Mew, Boston and Nick have ALSO kissed other people.

This is, in my humble opinion, A PRETTY BIG DEAL.

I am currently watching Not Me (for the first time, haven’t finished, no spoilers please), and I have been informed somewhat reliably that the original novel included a Gram/Black plotline that was cut/altered (to Gram/Eugene/Black love triangle), and I posit that was due in part because they couldn’t have Gun even KISSING Mond even if he was also kissing Off. Black and White would have been a great way to shift things even a little by having the branded pair be together while ALSO having half the brand with someone else at the SAME TIME. Can you imagine??

And yet as recently as 2021 that didn’t happen.

Sometimes change takes time and patience and I think OF is doing really good work, even if it doesn’t go as far as we might wish.

EVEN IF all our branded pairs end up together unsubverted (which is not what I am hoping for but EVEN IF), this show will have still begun paving the way for more varied storylines and pairings in shows

The Clash of Generational Lenses

Speaking of the end game, lets talk about a little thing called hope.

I had a very interesting discourse back around, hmmm episode 6, with @shouldiusemyname and @plantsarepeopletoo , about the sheer confusion I felt about Tumblr’s idea that every one of these characters should end up apart simply because they’d done bad things or something? (this is extremely generalized. I was missing a lot of nuance from both Tumblr and my own lens hence the unpacking then and now).

Now I went into this show fully prepared for this to end sadly and I largely viewed this expectation of  sad as everyone ending up broken up and alone. I don’t normally watch sad by choice, but I was willing to try this one because Jojo’s stories are SO beautifully compelling that I knew it would be worth the journey. I have watched Love of Siam (not Jojo but sad) and Gay Okay Bangkok (complicated), two very different shows reflective of their times and their creators and from the beginning, Only Friends did not feel like those (although the links to Gay Okay Bangkok and the exploration of real queer relationships has been fascinating and I am very glad I watched that one before OF).

So why was there this, almost prescribed hopelessness, being projected onto these very young characters who were just in the process of finding themselves? Why were these young people’s flaws and choices so linked to the idea that they would end up alone?

Now @shouldiusemyname told me the following (in the context of a much wider discourse):

Ahhh I like this cos this is something I take very much for granted and I think it’s a generational gap thing. This is a reaction to the way we were brought up (again generalizing cos sometimes it’s necessary). There was no alternative to monogamy and being queer meant that you can’t have that for 2 reasons: 1.    Law doesn’t allow 2.    Socially unacceptable cos being gay was seen as what kind of sex you were having as opposed to relationships. If you don’t have the gay sex, you’re not gay. This is also the reason for being anti het norm. We couldn’t have that so we needed to find the alternative and have ALL of it.

We were both generalizing A LOT, but this idea was MIND BLOWING to me at the time.

(For the record I am born late 1990s, Shouldiusemyname is born early 1980s (and Plantsarepeopletoo is born late 80s so we have variety covered lol!))

Because while, (as @waitmyturtles for example has pointed out on multiple occasions) the imposition of purity culture and monogamy on queer culture (and in general) is wrong, the idea that no queer people are desiring commitment or monogamy is also wrong. (I am not here suggesting that even in an ideal world where queer people TRULY HAD equal rights they would magically all want monogamous long-term relationships because that’s just not true. In addition hets regularly oppose the het norm as well, long-term monogamous relationships are unwanted by many of them).

I come from a strong biological background (which unequivocally supports more than two sexes and more than two genders, do not come back here and make this about that, got it!) and am currently doing a PhD in Palaeontology so a lot of my relationship understanding is informed by a wider understanding of breeding, monogamy and nonmonogamy in reproduction across the animal and plant kingdoms just by exposure (and yes reproduction in the plant kingdom is very much included, some plants have both male and female parts, it’s fascinating!). And monogamy is present in a hugely wide range of species, it’s not soley something humans came up with just because of religious norms. Addtionally, there is the development of consistent monogamous and/or committed polygamous relationships (historically, most commonly men with multiple wives) across a huge number of cultures throughout history largely for the fostering of children. Most of this influence has been more irrelevant for the queer community because of their inability to produce children in monogamous pairs*, and children are a huge sticking point for the NEED for long-term stable relationships. So, without this sticking point (combined with the aforementioned factors around law and discrimination), relationships are viewed as less permanent. Thus, I had to unpack my own casual assumptions that relationships normally have a long-term goal. (*Generalizing hugely, obviously there are lots of variations that can produce biological children without assistance, but these points most strongly apply to same-sex relationships)

For example, I find the way this plays out in a show like What Did You Eat Yesterday particularly fascinating, and have realized since starting Season 2 that I had missed a lot of this subtext in the first season because, to me, the idea that the central couple would stay and grow old together was a given. PARTLY because of monogamous cultural lenses, but ALSO because they loved each other and wanted to be together, so why wouldn’t they assume they would stay and grow old together?

I also realized that I am further sheltered in this mindset by not just my age but by the acceptance of my wider family of non-marriage as a concept (or even just not having to have children) as normal and okay. My Grandfather (in his 80s) is one of 10 children and has multiple siblings (my great uncles/aunts) who 1 never married or 2 married but chose never to have children. While I am not going to pretend that my uncles/aunts were never judged for such things, that judgment was NEVER part of my upbringing and we visited my single and/or childless great-uncles just as often as those with children.

I seem to have gotten sidetracked…What is the wider point I am making here?

Ah yes

Only Friends is so interesting because it’s shot like it’s set in the 80s & 90s, before the turn of the millennia, with so much homage paid to the queer stories and reality that the youth of this time grew up with. But the generational change that the last two decades or so have brought is inarguably huge, and so these characters, all born after the turn of the century, are not truly from the world that, in some ways, it looks like they’ve been placed into. @wen-kexing-apologist did an extremely comprehensive post about gay cruising culture and Boston that was extremely relevant to his character and the story being told, but it also was a specific throwback to something that is different in the 2020s. Not because people like Boston don’t exist, but because the turn of the century brought with it so many things that make this exact thing more complicated.

And OF has been showing us why! Surveillance, SO MUCH surveillance, every character has been recorded or recorded other characters or shared recordings of other characters, sometimes all of the above, and this surveillance does have a deep impact on the relationships today’s young people engage in! Not just the queer community but all young people of today are under near constant scrutiny and surveillance, and the young people born in the last couple decades have grown up like this, queer or not.

One last thing to mention here is the specific, observable, phenomenon that has been going on in Thailand, it is clear when you look at media like Love of Siam (2008) and compare it to ITSAY (2020) (which I haven’t even seen yet gah but I still know this is a great example). The phenomenon of BL, for all its flaws, has wrought change in the psyche and culture of the people of Thailand, ESPECIALLY the young people, and this is absolutely informing our six main characters views on relationships because they would have gone through high school with this as a major part of their culture.

Themes and Endgame: I Think Hope is the Point

All this draws me back into how I think OF will end, because it’s been at the heart of the show throughout, and that is hopefully, Only Friends will end hopefully.

Jojo has (I believe) stated outright that his primary goal for this show was to represent his community in truth, the messy non-het non-monogamy of queer youths in their 20s has been playing out across our screens, but the thing that has been keeping my attention riveted on Only Friends is the heart of it all.

The journeys of growth and discovery on this show have been magnificent. @thegalwhorants has been pointing out the intentional parallels of language this show has been using to highlight some of that growth, and that is just one very interesting fraction of the way this show has used words, music (@plantsarepeopletoo), colours, styles and more to represent the transformation characters are going through as they grow into themselves before our eyes.

A few very brief examples:

Mew’s switch to wearing Ray’s wardrobe when he is trying not to care but cares so much about Top.

Ray’s changed wardrobe to match the style Sand picked out for him even as he tried to choose Mew and couldn’t, because he’s already moved on, even when he couldn’t accept it.

Nick’s whole makeover to catch Boston’s attention later even catching Dan’s attention and the way that in that scene with Boston outside in ep10, Nick had returned to his shorts and t-shirt because he finally felt seen the way he sees Boston.

One’s sense of self is often built in part, around their relationships (family, friends, sexual and romantic), ESPECIALLY in collectivist cultures, and so much of our 20s involves growing and learning who you are through these relationships. I have seen arguing about toxic friendship groups and how they all need to just let each other go, and maybe that is the best endgame, I don’t know. Sometimes, growing together can be so much stronger, and sometimes, growing apart is the only way to move forward.

But these last two eps in particular (but honestly every moment of this show) have left me with the feeling that hope is the point. Because things HAVE changed, the world is moving and the things possible in 2023 are often utterly unthinkable to the youth of the 1980s, 1990s and before. The world is growing, acceptance and love have always been there but, surveillance or no, it’s so much easier to find now.

To be queer is no longer to be isolated, not in the way it once was, it is not a sentence of aloneness. Nor a stamp of irrevocable pain. Are things good now? HECK NO, you look at any statistic: homelessness, mental health, suicide rate, poverty; Being queer makes your life harder.

No matter how hard you try things might get worse and while that’s true for all people, queerness compounds that and often makes the consequences of your choices harder through isolation.

But the isolation is less now and I think OF wants to show that

You may do many things and sometimes these things will hurt no matter how careful you are, Not caring isn’t the point, Not feeling isn’t the point, God every character on this show feels so MUCH

This episode had moments of complete heartbreak

Complete regret

And complete Joy

And there is much more still to come

So when I think about endgame, I think about hope, and the lessening of isolation for all, and this does not mean 3 perfectly happy couples in perfect monogamous relationships wrapped up with a neat little bow, It means six individuals who have learned and grown through friendship and love, this may mean healed relationships, it may not, this may mean healed friendships, it may not. (It may mean Top, Mew and Boeing in a throuple but maybe I’m the only one hoping for that lol). We’ve clearly got more drama and pain to come but I am confident now that things will end with hope.

I do not know how Jojo and co will show that, but I trust them, and I can’t wait to find out.

[phoebepheebsphibs]

Double-Mutated Mikey

Chapter 30: Would You Love Me if I was a Worm?

Continued from the short story written by @boots-with-the-fur-club

Prev || Next

After his talk with Raph and CJ, Leo has to do it all over again with the whole family -- April, Draxum, and Cassandra included.

And Mikey, despite Leo's hesitation and objections.

The whole thing goes... very well, actually.

It is tough at first, Leo having been exhausted twice already and having to ask Raphael and Casey Jr. for help explaining on occasion because he just doesn’t have the emotional (or even physical) energy to go through it all a third time.

Tears are shed. Some are Leo's. Most are actually from Splinter.

At first, Leo thinks it is because of his paternal instinct to protect them, but then he remembers how hard it must have been those first several years post-mutation... All the years he'd spent in the Battle Nexus... Splinter understands all too well what Leo is going through.

Second most are from April. She may not have won the award for the most shed, but she won the award for loudest sobs. Leo didn't expect her to be so heartbroken for his sake, but she is, and that makes him cry all over again.

But the most impactful tears for Leo are Donnie's. Maybe it's because they're twins, or maybe it's the fact that Dee typically tends to keep his tears hidden (especially when there was an audience), or bottle them up. Not that he refuses cry ever -- he just doesn't do it often, and especially not when there are so many people around. But here he is, weeping silently for his brother in front of everybody. Leo almost missed it at first, but he happened to glance over and see the stains on his twin's mask and the red irritation surrounding his sclera. So while Donnie didn't make much of a show of his emotions, Leo knows he felt for him.

Cass and Draxum might be the only two not to cry, apart from Raph and Casey -- but those two are exempt, since they'd already knew what happened and had their own moments earlier to shed tears with him. Draxum is stoic and expressionless for the most part, raising an eyebrow at appropriate intervals to show he is paying attention. Cass makes quite a lot of facial expressions, and Leo figures her eyes got watery at one point. She talks a lot, though. So does Draxum.

Everyone has something to say. From advice to give, to words of affirmation, to moments when they felt similarly to Leo -- everyone talks.

All but one, actually.

Mikey stays strangely quiet.

Not that he doesn't understand. He does. Which is one of the reasons Leo was wary to tell Mikey. His eyes go wide with shock, and he cries with the rest when he hears the news. He sits besides Leo the entire time, resting his head on his lap and mewing sadly at him. Leo strokes his head to reassure him he is okay. Though, as the night goes on, he's not certain if Mikey is trying to comfort him, or if that is now Leo's job...

Leo half expects Michael to put on a turtleneck and coke bottle glasses, and don his 'Dr. Feelings' persona to help.

But he doesn't.

The discussion is long and lasts quite a while, with compelling points made from everyone and different ways to help Leo combat the intrusive thoughts and suicidal feelings.

Leo wonders how anyone could ever think he was the hero when they were the ones constantly saving his life.

Exhausted as he is, he weeps again and thanks everyone for their love and support.

The family meeting ends with hugs and kisses and watching a movie together in the hotel room. Leo notices that everyone keeps him in the center of the group, effectively surrounded by their love.

Mikey stays glued to his side the entire evening. He's been mostly quiet the whole night, but now he seems... overprotective of him. Leo is too tired to question it. Besides, he is so grateful for the company. Mikey rests on his lap like a cat, his soft underbelly radiating warmth and his gentle breaths keeping Leo grounded and calm.

They watch movies until Leo falls asleep in his family's embrace.

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.

.

Leonardo is entirely spent the next day. He wakes up in his hotel bed, exhausted and groggy. He doesn't remember when he fell asleep, just like he doesn't remember being carried to his room, or being given a weighted blanket on top of his sheets. The blanket doesn't even cover his entire body, they just draped it across his chest --

Wait a sec. Why is the weighted blanket breathing?

Leo looks up and blurrily sees a mass of green and yellow sprawled across his torso. He blinks, rubs his eyes free of sleep, and the blur becomes his little brother.

Leon smiles. Did Mikey stay with him the entire night? Was he worried for him? This was exactly why Leo didn't want to tell Mikey... the poor guy doesn’t need another thing to worry about. And yet, he is happy that Mikey is showing him how he loves him. And to be honest, Leo has not slept that well in weeks. Though, that was mostly due to stress from Mikey's disappearance and then camping out on his beanbags once he was home.

Leonardo strokes Mikey's head gently. He doesn't think he puts that much effort or force into it, but Mikey immediately wakes up at his touch and turns to look at him. He chirps before remembering he can speak and clears his throat.

"Hullo," he croaks.

"Hey," Leo simpers. "What's up."

Mikey hums and crawls closer to his big brother so that he's laying beside him rather than across him. He doesn't really respond to Leo, but holds onto his arm. Mikey's tail slides over Leo's knees and swishes back and forth.

"You okay?" he asks, looking over at him. "You're acting a little clingy."

Mikey hugs Leo's arm a bit more tensely. He nods.

"Mikey just... want to be with Leo today."

Leo sighs and snuggles closer to him. He can let Mikey be clingy.

"Okay. How about today is a Leo and Mikey day?"

Mikey glances up at his brother, eyes wide and bright. He chirps excitedly before once again recalling he can speak and answers him with a resounding 'yes'.

Leo is surprised how Mikey's vocal chords still sound raspy and torn. They should have healed by now. They sound better, that much is sure. He just needs a little more time.

Don't we all...

"So, whaddya wanna do today, bud?" Leo inquires. He seems to have caught Mikey off guard with the question.

"Mikey decides?" he asks, surprised. "Why not Llllllleo?"

"I can pick some stuff to do too," Leo adds. "But what do you feel like doing now?"

Mikey considers for a moment before giving a decisive nod followed by a decisive answer.

"Mikey wants food."

"Leo wants food too," he chuckles, getting up out of bed and putting on an oversized t-shirt. He leaves his ninja wraps behind, but ties the mask. Mikey watches with curious investement.

"...Can Mikey wear something, too?"

"Yeah, dude. You packed some clothes, right?"

"Big sweaters," Mikey answers. "Too hot for them."

"You can borrow one of mine, then," Leo says, digging in his thrown-together duffel bag until he finds a shirt that should fit Mikey. "Here ya go!"

Mikey catches the shirt and stares at it like it's a gift from God Himself before delicately pulling it over his head and shell.

"What if Mikey tears it?" he asks nervously. "Will Leo get sad?"

"No," Leo says, sensing that trying to keep Leo from being sad will become a running theme with Mikey for the day. "I won't be sad. You can go ahead and wear it, don't worry."

Mikey looks down at the shirt and smiles. He likes the neon blue swirls and tie-dye patterns, he likes how they contrast so brightly and perfectly with his lemon-bright yellow spots and freckles.

"Does Mikey get a mask too?"

Leo looks back at him, hope shining through his eyes.

"Did you pack your mask?" he asks gently.

"Uuuuummmm," Mikey taps a claw against his chin as he thinks. "I think Cassssssey put one in? Orange cloth, yeah?"

Leo and Mikey walk over to the other bedroom and search through the suitcase. Lo and behold, Casey Jones Jr. did indeed stash a few bright orange masks. Leonardo helps to tie the mask up into a bow behind Mikey's head. The former box turtle scrambles to the mirror and stares at himself in awe.

"I look like Leo and Raphie and Donnie now!" he exclaims. "I-I look like... like... I look like Mikey."

Leo smiles warmly at his little brother, who seems to be crying tears of joy. At least, that's what he hopes. He's smiling pretty big.

Leo helps Mikey to stand on his two feet and the duo walk out hand-in-hand, mostly to help Mikey keep from stumbling or tripping. The boys head downstairs to the free continental breakfast offered.

Mikey is completely awed by the many choices of food. They're all so spread out and numerous! Leo helps Mikey choose, since the Yokai's culinary options are a bit different than theirs, and he isn't sure if the screaming cereal puffs would be appetizing to him just yet...

He picks out a stack bright green pancakes with glowing blue berries mixed in, a bowl of warm milk with non-screaming cereal puffs, and very odd, very large slices of what he thinks is turkey bacon, or something similar to that. Mikey also asks for several fruits and baked goods as well. And while Leo's his bagel is toasting, he assists Mikey with dressing up his oddly-coloured pancakes with strawberry and maple syrup, chocolate chips, and powdered sugar. Leo is going to regret giving him so much sugar later on, but today has been declared a day for fun, so anything goes. Which means a sugar rush, sugar crash, followed by imminent diabetes on a plate, and all at 8am in the morning.

The two sit down and Mikey tries again with the fork and knife. His fingers can't get the utensils to hold still properly, and they slip and clack loudly. Mikey gets flustered and embarrassed that he's making a fool of himself, until Leo points out that the room has very few patrons -- and most of those that are attending breakfast have hooves or tentacles or claws that resemble Mikey's, so they eat without utensils. Mikey beams gladly upon this discovery, and digs into his plate with his bare face.

Leo rolls his eyes with an airy chuckle and noshes on his cheese and bacon bagel-ritto. He wonders how long it will take for Mikey to not treat every meal like it's his very first, lick every plate clean, and beg for seconds and thirds in a timid manner as though he's scared of being punished for being hungry. The good news is that he's gained some weight since his rescue; he isn't so pale and shaky and thin-framed as he was when they first rescued him.

Breakfast for Mikey is over in a flash. He nearly inhales the pancakes at a speed previously unknown to man. Leo is challenged to match the speed in an attempt to finish his food before Mikey's sugar rush kicks in. He almost makes it, too. Almost.

Mikey starts bouncing in his seat impatiently. He watches Leo scarf down his bagel and slurp up his cereal. Mikey rocks back and forth, tapping his fingers rhythmically as he hums.

"You can always go outside and I'll meet you when I'm done," Leo offers, mouth dripping with milk and chin covered in honey-nut wheat bites.

"Nuh-uh!" Mikey says, shaking his head frantically, bows flapping like they're about to take flight. "Mikey stays with Leo! I l-like staying with Leo, I like being with you it's a lot of fun let's go do other fun stuff too are you finished yet huh huh huh are ya are ya are ya hey look at that guy he looks like a rhinoceros that's pretty cool hey can you make this sound with your mouth??"

Mikey starts blowing raspberries at his brother before busting out in mad giggles.

"I'mma gonna go get some more syrup and pancakes!"

"Wooooaaaaah mister!" Leo halts him, grabbing Mikey by the elbow before he can jet off. "I think you've had enough. Raph will kill me if he finds out how much sugar I let you have already!"

Mikey yipes at that claim, instantly going to guard Leo's chair with a growl.

"N-no! No one hurts you! Don't worry Leo I'll protect you Mikey can help don't be hurt no dying I don't like that hey how about we go outside now are you finished with your food I wanna go play outside can we play is that okay is that okay I'm not being annoying am I you'd tell me if I was annoying right I don't wanna be a burden am I being weird how come everything is moving so slowly wow my hands are really shaky can we go outside now I wanna play can we play how long does it take for you to eat food let's go outside now okay???"

Leo swallows the last of the bagel-ritto and half-chokes on it before clearing his throat.

"Okay, Mikey, let's go outside and burn off all that energy, huh?"

"Yaaaaaay!!!" Mikey cheers, grabbing Leo's wrist and racing outside with him.

Leo yelps as his baby brother drags him out at the speed of light, nearly dislocating his shoulder. Mikey dodges sunbathers and resort patrons as he rushes going out towards the beach and fly through the giant magic rainbow arch.

"What should we play first??" Mikey asks, skidding to a halt and buzzing around Leo's ankles excitedly.

"I think maybe let's start with a race," Leo schemes. "Let's see how fast you can go, hmm? First one to round the island wins!"

"THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN OKAY LET'S DO IT!!" Mikey screams, bouncing and vibrating in a blur from excitement.

Leo crouches, Mikey mimicking him as his tail flaps around so wildly it cracks the air and slaps sand into the wind.

"OnyourmarkgetsetGO!" Leo shouts.

Mikey is instantaneously gone, a trail of smoke and sand billowing behind him as he vanishes around the bend. Leo half wishes he'd brought his katanas so he could make a portal just to mess with him.

Mikey is back in a few minutes, zooming past him and around the bend again. Leo wonders why he didn't stop. He's back after another five minutes or so.

"Hi!" he pants, still hyped up but out of breath. "I didn't see you until it was too late the first time and by the time I realised I passed you I figured it would be faster just to run the island again hey you didn't run at all why didn't you run but I won the race anyway didn't I didn't I huh huh Mikey's the winner Mikey wins at racing I'm fast very fast look what Mikey can do!"

Mikey starts zooming back and forth and running out onto the water to play. Leo laughs and follows after him, taking off his shirt and jumping into the water to wade with his little brother. Several minutes later, Mikey slows and starts to yawn. He shudders and sits on the shore while Leo goes to get him some water and something to combat the sugar crash.

After a peanut butter and apple slices snack later, and a reluctant drink of some cold orange juice, Mikey's shakes dissipate and he takes a quick nap on the beach shore. Leo grabs some beach towels and lounge chairs for the two to relax in. He lets Mikey rest where he is, for the time being, sticking an umbrella in the ground beside him to keep him shaded.

"See you when you get up, buddy..."

.

.

.

Mikey wakes about an hour later, afraid that Leo might have left him while he was sleeping. He sits up and looks around, only relaxing once he sees his brother's signature shade of blue.

Leo is lounging, smiling brightly as he basks in the sunlight. Mikey sees that a lounge chair has been set up besides Leo for him as well.

Instead, Mikey climbs aboard Leo's chair and curls onto his lap, careful not to crush his legs like he tends to do. Mikey feels Leo's hand rub circles onto his back once he's situated.

"Hey, bud," he says quietly. "You doing okay? Need more peanut butter?"

Mikey shakes his head 'no'.

"M'kay. Wanna do something?"

"Leo's turn to choose," Mikey hums back.

"I'm kinda good to just stay here and relax."

Mikey hums and nods. It is good to relax. Mikey likes relaxing. He wasn't really allowed to relax in the labs... well, that's probably not true. They let him sleep at night and have some mealtimes. But his days were mostly tests and experiments and fighting deformed monsters. Nothing like laying back and bathing in pure unprohibited sunshine. And Leo needs his relaxation, too! He needs to feel sunshine, and rest on the beach, and enjoy the peace too. If anyone deserves it, Leo does.

Mikey watches the waves as they tumble over one another. He sees what looks like a dolphin in the distance. The sunlight sparkles across the water majestically. He's sure he's seen this before...

.

.

.

"Well, it's official. Leo is the worst," Mikey mutters.

"You mean the BEST!" Donnie squeals, rushing over to the water and jumping in excitement. "We get a beach vacay! FINALLY! I don't know about you gentlemen, but I have definitely EARNED this."

"Earned it how?" Raph asks, remembering the 'gifts' he made for them, when he tested out his tranq darts on them, how he got addicted to the Purple Game and accidentally trained a giant mech AI to squash them...

"Where exactly are we?" Mikey asks, spotting a red and white flag waving far off in the distance.

"According to my calculations --" Donnie declares, typing on his wrist tech dramatically, "-- Leo has portalled us to Tahiti."

"TAHITI?!" Raph shouts, eyes bulging out of his head. "Wha- How- Why --"

"How about we don't have a conniption," Donnie says, taking Raphael by the arm and leading him to the water, "...and instead we enjoy the serenity that is a beach vacation?"

"But what about Leo?" Mikey asks, already splashing in the waves. "Do you think he's worried? Or in trouble? Why wasn't he portalled here with us?"

"Oh I'm sure he's fine, he said with very little hesitation," Donnie states, waving away Mikey's concern. "He got us into this mess, he'll get us out of it. Now, Tahiti. Is. Ours!"

Donnie supplies the boys with flower leis and coconuts filled with fruity beverages, initiating the chillest of vibes and enticing his brothers to join in.

"Well... maybe just a few minutes," Raph agrees, taking the coconut from Donnie. "But at some point we gotta figure out a way to get home."

"Ooooorrrr we could look into finding a nice sewer here?" Donnie offers.

Raph and Mikey glare at him.

"Kidding!" he quickly rebuffs. "I was of course joking, and have not already been researching the options. It's not like there's one available for a very reasonable price just two miles away or anything..."

Mikey rolls his eyes and kicks a wave at Raph, initiating a splash war between them.

The trio enjoy the sun and surf, laughing and having a wonderful time. Mikey wishes that Leo could enjoy it with them... He's still a bit worried about what happened to his bro. He knows Leo has been feeling really low about his mystic weapon not working right. For whatever reason, he can't get it to properly portal. Mikey figured out how to use his almost instantly, and Raph has been getting the hang of his pretty easily as well. But Leo's odachi keeps malfunctioning. He could barely get a portal to open at first! Mikey remembers how he tricked them all into the minotaur maze to prove he was a champion. They were pretty mad at him, but the more Mikey thinks about it, the more he feels like Leo was hiding his insecurities. And still is.

Mikey's been working on a new persona -- like Dr. Delicate Touch, but softer. Less focused on telling the cold hard truth, and more focused on getting others to admit truths about themselves. A therapist kinda persona, to help with feelings. Hey, that could be his name! 'Dr. Feelings'... that might work.

He wonders if Leo would be willing to talk about it. Leo's pretty cagey when it comes to talking about feelings. But maybe --

Mikey's train of thought is interrupted by a burst of blue light ignites from above, and the three are sucked in very suddenly with a yell...

His stomach does a backflip as he goes from flying upwards to falling downwards, landing with a crash against Raph's back and a hard wooden surface.

"Whoah, where'd you guys come from? I mean, hey check it out! I freed you from your pirate prison!"

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.

.

Mikey blinks and he's back from the memory. It's always weird and disorienting when he recovers a new recollection. Mostly because he doesn't recognize himself, and can't actually imagine himself walking around so easily without help or not stumbling over his words and referring to himself as 'Mikey' instead of 'I' at times, or not seeing his tail flick around out of his peripherals. He can't possibly comprehend that he was Hamato Michelangelo, and not Mikey from Project Venus of the TCRI, prisoner of the EPF.

Mikey feels Leo's hand on his shell again. He shifts around so he can lay his chin against Leo's shoulder in a lazy hug.

"You sure you're okay?" Leo asks quietly. "I know I said this, but you've been acting a little clingy. Is everything alright?"

"I told you, Mikey wants to be with Leo today."

"I get that," Leo mumbles, shifting his weight a bit so they can sit a bit more comfortably. "But why? Is it because of last night?"

Mikey whimpers quietly.

"I'll take that as a yes. I'm sorry it bothered you --"

Mikey pulls away and stares him in the eyes. That was probably not the right thing to say, Leo figures. Mikey's eyes seem to search Leo's for something.

"Mikey, why are you looking at me like that? Why are you so upset? What about last night upset you?"

"Mikey want Leo happy today."

"But why?" he asks.

"Leo said he's not always happy. Leo said he doesn't love himself sometimes. Mikey... Mikey wants to make Leo happy today so Leo knows I love Leo. Mikey make everything better... Mikey helps, Mikey do good..."

Mikey starts whimpering a little and his eyes tear up. Leo reaches around him and pulls him into a hug.

"Mikey, I know you love me. It's okay, I'm going to work on treating myself better and not letting those thoughts win. It's not your job to do that. But thank you, this really helps."

Mikey sniffles and nuzzles his face into the crook between Leo's neck and shoulder.

"...Mikey knows how hard it is to remember to be loved."

Leo glances out of the corner of his vision at Mikey, not daring to let go of the hug.

"Mikey... Mikey can't always remember things. Mikey has a hard time remembering. The labs... they took everything from Mikey. Nobody loves in the labs. Everybody just hates. Especially Instinct. He hates everyone a lot. Instinct CAN'T love, he just hates. Instinct kept Mikey alive, but not happy. Instinct always says 'Don't trust them', because he thinks everyone is going to hurt Mikey. But... he wasn't wrong. And the people at the labs... the 'evil humans'... they told me... I was a monster. Instinct told me I was a monster. And I had no choice but to believe them."

Mikey slowly glances back at his brother.

"So Mikey knows how it feels to not really love what you are. Mikey knows how hard it is.... and how much it hurts..."

Leo wraps his arms tighter around Michelangelo, squeezing him and not releasing until he hears the little guy squeak.

"We've been trying our best to show you that you're not a monster, Mikey."

"I know...."

"Because you're not a monster, Mikey. Nobody thinks that. Not me, not Raph, not --"

"I bit Raph, though!" Mikey protests meekly. "A-and I attacked you, you still have the scratches on your neck and leg -- aren't you mad? Or scared??"

"If I understand it right, I think technically it was Instinct who did those things," Leo corrects. "And even if it wasn't, Raph and I would never think anything bad about you."

Mikey rests his head against Leo's plastron.

"...Leo...?"

"Yeah?"

"...Will... will you love me if I really AM a monster?"

Leo rubs Mikey's head gently.

"Mikey, I love you so much. I'd love you if you were a worm. I'd love you if you were a non-mutated box turtle. And yes, I'd love you if you were a monster. And I love you now."

Mikey wonders what Leo means by 'I love you now'. He feels some hidden meaning behind the word. It unnerves him slightly, thinking that there is something dark hiding behind the word 'NOW', something terrible that he doesn't understand. Then again, there is very little that Mikey understands.

But he understands that he's different now. Though, somehow, they act like that isn't a bad thing. Or they act like he hasn't changed at all. Mikey's not sure if it's true or not, and he isn't sure how he feels about either prospect.

Looking on the outside, Mikey is astounded by the love they show him. He imagines that he deserves that love, he has earned it. Somehow.

"...Mikey loves you too, Leo. Please remember that."

"If you'll remember that I love you right back."

Mikey nods, churring softly as he hugs Leo again, just for good measure.

Mikey hopes that, if nothing else, he really will remember that.

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Agent John Bishop sits at a desk and types several keywords into the computer. He's not a hacker, but he's learned a few tricks from Honeycutt about bypassing codes. He gave Bishop his login username and passkey so that he could piggyback off of his server without drawing attention. He's currently looking for any information that they have on Mikey's status. They can't track him anymore, but that doesn't mean they don't have other means of finding him. Cameras and drones and sweepers, oh my...!

Bishop types another line of code and uncovers a file from Chaplin's server: a map of New York overlayed on top of another schematic. Are those sewer tunnels? No, too winding and varied, plus there are tons of open areas that don't line up with the city plumbing codes. So then what...?

Bishop peers at it before recognizing a few of the structures and symbols. That's a city schematic. So, they've overlayed NYC overtop of another city? What --

Bishop realizes what this map is of.

How have they discovered the Hidden City so quickly?? Bishop and those two idiot mercs only found it yesterday! This isn't good news.

Bishop regrets not asking Casey for his info or a way to contact them. They need to know what's happening! But then again, it's probably for the best. If the EPF were to make any kind of security check on his phone for unknown numbers, they'd immediately find Casey and their whole family would be in danger. Besides, Bishop is aware that Casey probably doesn't own a cell or even have any sort of email. Someone with no records or identification whatsoever isn't going to just have a cell that can be tracked or traced.

He keeps on scrolling, going through the restricted channels. He finds a notice for the employees discussing something about Staten Island. He finds a timetable for some sort of mission or extraction. He finds a work order given to Honeycutt for a new program titled Mechanical Iambic: Mimicry Initiative Cybernetic. 'MI:M.I.C.' for short. Bishop can guess what the program does, but not what they would want it for.

They're planning something. An attack of some kind. For Mikey. Bishop has to act. But how? What can he do...

He quickly makes a printout of the mission timetable and map overlay and logs out quickly.

He messages Honeycutt to be careful and warns him about the program, asking that he intentionally sabotage it in a way they wouldn't notice. He hits send just as he gets up and leaves the abandoned office room.

Bishop is in the elevator. Honeycutt hasn't answered back yet. He usually responds within the first few seconds, especially with everything going. Bishop presses the button for the ground floor. He waits an eternity with the papers hidden in his interior jacket pocket. He presses the button again.

The doors open on the ground floor, and Honeycutt still hasn't offered any kind of response. It doesn't even say he's read the message. That's not like him... He stares down at his phone as he crosses through the lobby.

"Hey, John," says the receptionist, waving him down with a sparkling smile. "Going out again?"

Bishop smiles back at her kindly.

"Yep, just going on a coffee run. Want anything?"

"I might like a cappuccino," a voice says from the front.

Bishop turns in surprise to see Dr. Chaplin, standing with two very large guards at the front door.

"...Didn't take you for the cappuccino type," Bishop jokes.

"Well, we all have our little secrets now, don't we?" Chaplin replies, walking towards him with a strange smile. "Like you, for instance."

He looks Bishop over, analyzing him. Bishop wonders what he's up to... but this ominous talk of secrets doesn't bode well.

"...You know, Ms. Campbell told me about the odd hacker that had infiltrated our systems a few days back. Left a message, 'leave us alone', very ominous... did Honeycutt tell you about that?"

"Why would he?"

"You two have been rather chummy as of late," he says with a snakeish, sickly saccharine smile. "I thought you might have discussed it. But in any case, I tasked Ms. Campbell to search for anything out of the ordinary in the EPF/TCRI servers. Suspicious activity, piracy, hackers, that sort of thing."

$#!%, John Bishop thinks to himself.

"And she told me about someone downloading reports on Project Venus. Looking for information. And some of the researchers and analysts gave reports of important items going missing, like blood reports and DNA samples."

Bishop stays stone-faced.

"Do you want me to look into this?" he asks, hoping that all he has is speculation and no hard evidence.

"No, thank you though. I had Ms. Campbell set up a tracing modem earlier today."

The two guards walk up to Bishop and each grabs him by his arms.

Bishop's eyes widen as he realizes what's happening.

"She tracked you pretty quickly. And not only you," Chaplin informs, his smile slowly fading. "You used your friend's IP server to carry your signal and hide your hacks. Very good, very ingenious. Honeycutt is quite clever. But unfortunately for the two of you, his creations are more clever."

Agent Bishop struggles against the security guards as they start to search him, one taking his EPF standardized concealed weapon, the other reaching into his interior lining of his jacket and pulling out the printouts. He hands the sheets to Dr. Chaplin, who tuts at Bishop disappointedly.

"What are you planning? Where did you get that schematic?" Bishop demands.

"You're not exactly in a position to ask questions," Chaplin replies drably.

"But how could you possibly even know about --"

"What, the quote unquote, 'Hidden City'?" Dr. Chaplin chuckles. "Please. That pathetic ghetto of ghouls hasn't been a secret, especially not since the incident with the mosquitos and that maniac in the baseball field. Did you really think I wouldn't know about something like this? And it's not the only Yokai city I've come across. This is what got me into the study of mutations in the first place!"

"What do you want with them?!" Bishop shouts, pulling his arm as hard as he can to try and punch his former employer in anger.

Dr. Chaplin stares at the agent as though he just asked him the stupidest question in the world.

"My dear Bishop, I want absolutely nothing to do with them. That's the whole point of this."

Bishop is tugged back, his arms thrust behind him as the guards try to cuff him.

"Where's Zayton Honeycutt? What are you going to do to him?!" he snarls, desperate to wrench his arms free.

One of the guards punches Bishop in the gut, causing him to double over. He's half-held up by the guards as he struggles to get his breath back.

"The good old professor still has some usefulness for us. I see no reason to kill the golden goose just yet. You, on the other hand," Chaplin says, leaning close to his face. "You are an expendable agent with no connections or important qualities whatsoever. And you should have known better."

Dr. Chaplin snaps his fingers, and Agent John Bishop is dragged away, kicking and shouting and struggling.

Prev || Next

[greentrickster]

WIP game

Rules: You will be given a word. Share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that start with each letter of that word.

@shadow-pixelle tagged me with ECHO, so congrats - have some 'Got a Light?' (my RWBY fic) snippets! And, to have some extra fun, since they're all from the same fic, I'll get one snippet from each of the first two books I've written this fic in and two from the current book (because it's the biggest), and you'll get the sentences in the order I wrote them... but not necessarily in the order they'll come in the fic, because I'm writing non-chronologically. ;D Enjoy!

E

"Easy for you to say," Jaune gives up on meditating (because he's weak) to glare at Roman, "You're probably just saying that because you had a stupid one, like- like bad luck or making your pockets bigger or something!"

...Branwen had flinched at the first suggestion. Interesting. Neo'll have to look into that. More importantly, however, Roman has frozen in place, dust crystal fallen to the ground beside him. He stares straight up into the sky unmoving for a good twenty seconds before he lets his arm fall across his eyes with a distraught groan.

"Dangit, that second one actually sounds like an amazing- that would have been so useful for shoplifting or, hells, just storing extra ammo without ruining the lines of my suit- dammit, now I'm sad, thanks a lot."

C

"Consider: would any of you say you are quite the same people now that you were at the beginning of the school year? How about ten years ago?" he smiles at the range of reactions this elicits. "To me, it is much the same, albeit on a far larger scale. It seems as though we each carry a certain amount of... ourselves, for lack of a better word, with us to each new life.

"For example, it may surprise you to know that, in regards to myself, while I have heard many times that I seem to have gained a certain level of maturity overnight when my memories and powers are unlocked, oddly little in my personality or mindset of my new life seem to change beyond that. I will confess, it inspires a certain amount of curiosity these days, whenever the end of a current life draws near, as to what new myself I will have become the next time my memories return."

H

"Hey, what about all the nice things you were gonna say to Pyrrha?!"

"They will be formatted as an extremely flattering eulogy!!!"

Qrow is drawn away from this amusing interaction by Neo, who has removed a glove and stolen a fistful of bacon with her bare hand, wiggling it enticingly at Qrow with a big smile.

"I feel like I'm being mocked," he states, examining it with each eye suspiciously.

"You're not," Torchwick says, finally calm again and theatrically wiping his eye, "She just likes watching birds eat. Used to sneak into kitchens at restaurants so she could get table scraps for it."

...eh, fair enough. Qrow obliges and daintily tugs a strip of bacon free with his beak, holding it with one claw to peck at. Neo beams.

O

"Oh, um- yes! He says... 'Thinking of mew.'"

Ruby glances up from skimming her texts to see Weiss staring blankly ahead.

"...he's a dork," she says, voice dazed, "He's an enormous dork."

"Weiss-" Uncle Qrow groans, only for Jaune to hold his hand up.

"Don't bother, Mr. Branwen, I've got this."

"Kid, it's Qrow."

Jaune ignores him, going to put a steadying hand on Weiss's shoulder. "Look, I'm sorry you have to find out this way, but the thing about guys is... we're all dorks. And Neptune is our king."

"...I see." Weiss nods, and Ruby goes back to her own texts, "Is it a bad sign that I still like him, even though he's flawed?"

"I mean, he didn't realize you wanted to keep seeing him after the dance until you cried at him for flirting with other girls," Nora comments, "You kinda already knew that he wasn't perfect."

"I suppose that's true... In that case, I'm going to respond in kind! Nora, I require your assistance!"

---

(Told you guys it's not as dire as my research subject list makes it sound!)

I'll be tagging @fullbattleregalia and @elektricangel, along with anyone else who wants to play - your word is LIFE (because my fic's about Roman coming back as a ghost and I'm funny).

[athousandbyeol]

thank you for tagging me, @forcebookish <3

1 . How did you get into writing fanfiction?

when i was 15, i had a lot of problems at school. i was in the first class (i wasn't smart, btw. i guess it was luck or misjudgement from the school management) and i received a lot of mental and emotional pressure to be like my other classmates. they were all very bright and i wasn't. so it took a toll on my mental health. i got really bad grades, especially in maths and science. and some of my teachers said very heartbreaking things to me.

i was trying to find a distraction. and that time i was still new in the k-pop fandom. but one day i discovered a kaisoo (exo) fanfic on asianfanfics and i instantly fell in love. i read a lot (A LOT) of kaisoo fanfics after studying. one day, i decided to write my own and it was so cringey ngl hahaha. but it was so fun when people started commenting on it! so i thought, hey, this is so cool. i should just continue doing this because it helped me a lot mentally. i wasn't good in english before (still am not, tbvh) because english isn't my first language. but after reading and writing fanfics, i got an A+ for my exam! and i never got a B ever since. :)

fast forward, i've been writing fanfics for 10 years. <3

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

i think i've written stories for 30+ fandoms? hehe. my most written stories belong to the bad buddy (patpran), only friends (topmew), kinnporsche (vegaspete) and a boss and a babe (guncher) fandom :)

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

i write more. i read sometimes. but usually during my free time, i would either write, edit or watch videos and listen to crime/horror podcasts hehe. but i want to read more, though.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

i guess... my own voice? i noticed, when i just started writing fanfics, i tended to copy the writing style of an author i liked. but now, i think i have my own distinct writing style. maybe some readers can tell if a story was written by me hehe.

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

i researched about ways to clean corpses for somewhere else (topmew)...

i don't think it's weird, but i researched a lot on polyamorous relationships while writing tell me (topmew). i also did a bit of research on situationship when i wrote maybe we and not us (also topmew).

topmew really made me do a lot of reading and researching hehe.

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

i personally like when readers highlight their favourite lines or parts from the story. i think it's the best type of comment. but i appreciate any kind of comment i get because they're treasures i'll cherish for a lifetime. :)

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

i don't know if this isn't mainstream, but i wrote about prostitution (come home/topmew). in the story, top worked as a part-time prostitute while being in a stable relationship with mew. mew knew top's working as an escort, but he was so supportive of top and loved him the same.

i was trying to show that sex workers are also human beings and they deserve to be loved. i guess i was hoping readers (and myself) could change the stereotype we have against prostitutes/sex workers because not all of them do this for pleasure. most of them do it because of survival. i watched a short documentary on sex work in the philippines and was inspired to write this story. they're so strong and admirable. :)

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

smut. i can't write smut. i swear. i've been trying for years but i just can't write it well. and i don't really like writing this genre (?) in particular... i think i'm also weak at writing dialogues and dialogue tags. it's so hard :(

10. What is the easiest type?

descriptive, narrative and emotive. i'm comfortable writing in this style and i consider it as one of my strengths :)

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

i usually write in my room, on my bed or on the floor. i write all my stories on grammarly because as i mentioned, i'm not a native english speaker so grammarly helps a lot with basic grammar mistakes. there's no fixed time, honestly. usually, i'll write whenever i'm inspired. but mostly, it's at night (between 10 to 3 am) and morning (5 to 8 am). and i'll always listen to music when i'm writing. ^^

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

i have a plan to write an original story with forcebook and jimmysea as the main cast this year. but looking at the things i have to do upcoming semester (dissertation and candidature defence), i'm afraid of the time limitation. everything is already planned out. i just have to write the story down. but time isn't on my side these days. so i'll just probably stick to writing one-shots in the meantime. but i really hope i can make this idea happen someday :(

13. What made you choose your username?

athousandbyeol is actually a play on 'a thousand stars'. i really loved p'aof's a tale of a thousand stars so my usernames (youtube, twitter, ko-fi and tumblr) are based on that :)

wordsbythesundown is my pen name ^^ i used this for my instagram and my second blog ^^ (and because i really love sunsets hehe)

i don't know who to tag so... anyone who sees this, feel free to join the fun :)

[mahou-furbies]

With the Shugo Chara sequel announcement we have yet another one of the big magical girl properties covered with new installments. So now it's

Sailor Moon - remake, faithful to manga (anime)

Cardcaptor Sakura - sequel (manga and anime)

Ojamajo Doremi - is about young women who grew up watching Ojamajo Doremi and now get to meet the Ojamajos (movie)

Mermaid Melody - sequel about Lucia’s daughter (manga)

Tokyo Mew Mew - remake, faithful to manga (anime)

Precure - crossover sequel (?) about the Splash Star and Yes5 Cures as adults (anime)

W.i.t.c.h. - reboot (comic)

Winx Club - reboot (animated show)

Wedding Peach - has that web novel Wedding Apple thing, I think it's new characters but uses similar tropes

Shugo Chara! - sequel (manga)

(and then there's been some stuff for the earlier majokko but I know very little about them)

Also Madoka has that new movie coming up but it never really went away since MagiReco has been active for years so I don't think it's in the exact same category. Or I guess Precure is even more active but a Splash Star/Yes5 sequel about adulthood is clearly tapping into a similar audience as many of the others in the list.

Wonder what's left of the big hitters from the same era? Magic Knight Rayearth at least, and maybe Sugar Sugar Rune? Not sure how big it is, it's just one of my favourites... Princess Tutu? Then there's also Utena and Fullmoon wo Sagashite but that's starting to stretch my definition of magical girls.

[aeoneris]

for archival reasons, and because rise has officially ended, i'm coping by looking back at the past two years and thinking about the master utsushi rabbit hole. this is based on a long reply i sent to a mutual but i think it deserved to have its own post where others can read it and i can expand further on certain details. or something. i don't know. i have no idea who will read this but if you do, please enjoy...

the ballad of master utsushi.

he was there regardless.

always watching.

waiting.

i wound up getting attached to utsushi-kyokan (master/instructor utsushi), ウツハン/utsuhan (utsushi x hunter) ship, and finding his Japanese fan community late 2021, and i've been chatting with mutuals and friends i made there since. at that time, capcom had opened up pre-orders for his nui (plushie). this plush is lovingly referred to as "Unui-kun", and people love to take him around and bring him places. here's my Unui-kun in new york city lol

fans love to dress him up and make clothing and accessories for him. had i known just how attached i would become, i would not have set my Unui-kun to ship via surface mail delivery because it took about 2-3 months extra for him to arrive... ;;

but anyway, it seemed that his popularity was growing because they continued to make more merch of him. he seems to have more than any of the other characters.

many of these are limited print/pre-order only, or were from specific events like the capcom cafe features. trying to get his merchandise became crazy, because scalpers started to pick up on how badly people wanted goodies of him?!

just how popular is this guy?! what's with the character tax!!

and how did this even happen... we're playing monster hunter, not an idol game! but i think it really speaks a lot for itself how rise had such colorful characters that you could get attached to. it seems he really jives with many female and queer players, so good on capcom for that hehe. many of the japanese fans i've met are either older women, very often mothers, or gnc, which i found to be really cool. the english-speaking utsushi fans are usually the same, too. the solidarity is real...

I found out that a lot of ppl, including myself, shared a similar experience: they missed out on a majority of utsushi's flavor text in base rise bc they didn't talk to him or the other NPCs very much during village and high rank quests, and therefore didn't even think much of him until after the fact. people double-taking when going through the game again and actually catching on to his antics... I think what really got things going was when they released his DLC voice and learned about his, uh, extremely affectionate lines towards the hunter when it comes to mew mew and blowing a kiss LOL. (the "welcome back, master!" line?!?! there's so much art of him in a maid outfit... and the way he says ace/manadeshi in his sleep at the table?!?! scandalous?!?!) even for me, he got my attention only once i saw the official art of him (realizing "hey he's got a cute design actually") and eventually encountering utsushi x hunter fanart on pixiv. another thing that got me noticing him was brian david gilbert's now deleted tweet about how zac efron and utsushi are the same. thankfully, we have the internet archive to save the existence of this post and i have to make sure people experience this lost media.

once i realized how weirdly close he was to the hunter, the gears started turning

i confirmed that ppl really did notice that it was unusual for an instructor character to refer to his pupil as "manadeshi (beloved/dearest disciple)" in the manner that he does, being so close to them in a way that felt so familiar and warm. he was already popular enough that by valentine's day 2022, fans literally sent real chocolates to capcom addressed to utsushi. i knew about this for a while, but i was shook that they wound up officially addressing that this really happened during the last update video.

after they received his chocolates, they immediately got one of the (female) illustrators on board to quickly draw that really cute valentine's day art of utsushi. the japanese tweet for that artwork had even a little bit more text than the english one…

that "i'll always be watching over you" line…

(and while i'm here, i have to mention the valentine's day art we got for 2023- i made a separate post about THAT.)

we started to suspect capcom caught on to this niche community's love for utsushi, and they started to kind of... troll us??? LOL.

throughout the previews of sunbreak last year, they would start obsessively sneaking utsushi into those chibi artworks. and when npc followers were announced, people were scrambling to find out if he was going to be one of them, but there also was some weird radio silence about him for a bit...

in one of the earlier trailers that showed the elgado hub for the first time, there was a very short part of the clip where ppl could see someone standing in the distance at the corner of the screen. all the utsushi fans went nuts because they were taking a magnifying glass and zooming up at there wondering if it was really him, because everyone wanted him to be there in sunbreak LOL.

of course we'd eventually find out that would be his perch for most of the game! it was only during the final preview trailer before the release of sunbreak did they finally announce utsushi as a follower, as if they were saving the best for last. and sunbreak dropped, we got to see him in elgado and enjoy hunting with him. and it didn't end there. he wound up being featured in two of the short stories released last summer, and we would not forget this incident.

when i think about how easy it is to just play through the story and miss out on following specific out-of-the-way flavor texts, let alone know about all this outside of the game, i wonder if utsushi joining the hunter in the battle against amatsu in the penultimate battle was strange, because he has such a spotlight on him, even being the one who allows you to ride an apex which was normally impossible. if people didn't acknowledge him before, certainly people would love him now.

his final line after you defeat amatsu: it's cute and silly in english... but in japanese, his line and delivery was extremely, almost unabashedly... romantic. many people were shocked because it sounded like a fervent confession.

"I'll say it once more... You are my pride, my beloved disciple."

finally, during the last update video…

we got this line straight from the director LOL. utsushi wound up being his personal favorite character in rise, and perhaps why we wound up seeing more and more of him in sunbreak.

all in all, if you kept up with the flavor text of rise, and if you followed utsushi's dialogue throughout the base game and expansion, the emotional pay off at the end was even better! and it is a shame when this stuff is mostly optional or you have to go out of the way for it, with so much being missable with every bit of progression. but making a monhun where story and character interactions are pushed more… i think they were on to something. it's probably something that could be divisive, but personally I think they should go all in on it more in the future. Rise proved that they could make charming and memorable (not to mention, named) characters... if they lean into it more in a future entry, then i hope they do it in a way where everyone can enjoy it and not feel like they missed out. but I also hope they would make it so that people don't feel overwhelmed with flavor text... it comes down to taste, but i think i have faith that monhun can try making more character-driven stories while still keeping the core of the series in tact.

here are some more miscellaneous utsushi things that i didn't know how to fit in earlier:

he's been featured multiple times in capcom cafe entrees. here's his matcha latte dango drink:

and for the sunbreak stories: a cake based on his fight with rathalos together with the royal guard, and then a drink that represents his... uh, struggle across the ocean to chase the hunter to elgado. because they will never let him live that down. i won't either.

here's a t-shirt of utsushi and kagami you can pick up on amazon right now. kagami was a very interesting arc when he was first shown- he was introduced as a long time friend of utsushi, training together in the past, but eventually parting ways.

his seiyuu in japanese is a sentai actor who loves monster hunter, so essentially, kagami is lowkey like a self-insert for him lol. he's goofy in english because he's voiced by a certain youtuber, but in japanese he takes a different direction of silly because he has a "chuunibyou" edgelord cringe way of talking. it's such a shame that kagami wasn't really in the game itself besides being mentioned in a few mission descriptions because i would've loved to see him interact with utsushi and the hunter, and i wish the royal knights and many of the NPCs had more cutscenes or something. it makes me think, if it weren't for the pandemic, could rise's story and scenario have been something more because of the DLC voice characters like hibasa/monju/kagami? anyway, a popular headcanon is that utsushi and kagami are ex-boyfriends lol (i personally like this one and adapted it for my utsuhan fanfics). but there are even those who ship kagautsu too (although it is rare because people overseas are a little wary of shipping characters who are based on real people).

and lastly, one of my personal favorites... the diseased kyokan shirt. this is from an online capcom shop, and you can use a proxy service like fromjapan.com to order it.

if you read this all, thank you! happy hunting! with the instructor! we love that guy! the guy of all time!

[clarktooncrossing]

DUDELZ of the Damned | Pokétober

HEY THERE PEOPLE OF TODAY AND ROBOTS OF TOMORROW! IT'S ME, CLARK!

A chill is in the air. You can feel it can't you? Perhaps you even recognize it. That same chill arrives every year right on the dot. With it comes a frightful howl in the moonlight, the only other sound to be heard. Otherwise there is a strange calmness settling around you, like the point of ease before the storm. By now the howling has stopped. It has been replaced by a different sound. Footsteps. Big, heavy, dragging, as if the figure didn't quite know how to use their legs. Perhaps it's a random passerby. Perhaps it's a rotting, frightful feature freshly risen from the grave. Perhaps it's some other, unspeakable horror waiting to pounce! Whatever it is, you're not waiting around to find out! Yet no matter how far you run, it can't be escaped. The chill in the air, the howling of the wind, the heavy footsteps, it all leads back to one thing: October is here! And with it comes the return of the DUDELZ of the Damned!

Yes weirdos, like last year, my approximation of Sketchtober has returned. I call it an proxy because there was no list of prompts. Nah, that'd be too limiting. This is yet another case where I compiled my own list of ideas, sketched them out, then used one color per picture. With all that said, let's see what spoopy scribblings await us today!

Whatever changes may come, some things remain the same. Sue the Game Genie has figured this out for herself while exploring the modern world of gaming. Despite the decrease in competitors, the race for console supremacy still rages on. People are still obsessed with VR for some reason. At least now it’s in full color instead of simply red and black. Mobile gaming has especially come a long way. Her trusty Game Buddy never insisted she pay another two bucks to advance in the game. It can all become so overwhelming for a program who hasn’t been active since the late 90s. Luckily one thing remains the same: she wants to be the very best! That no one ever was! So what if there’s over 150 of them now? That just makes it more of a challenge. Gotta catch’m all! Gonna catch’m all! And nobody better get in her way…

Trust me, I speak from my experience. My spotted butt still has grill marks where she sicced Charizard on me. Speaking of the big iguana, those of you who have been around awhile know my rule regarding fan art and DUDELZ. Basically I can draw my characters in settings and outfits similar to those seen in other media, but drawing characters from said media is a big no no. Not unless said character is from an online creator. The reason is simple: my even thinking of drawing Donald Duck would result in the happiest lawsuit on Earth from Disney. Whereas drawing Queen Monova wouldn’t result in the same happening from SIM-N. Dem’s the rules. Luckily, being the giraffe who wrote them, I can dictate when to break’m. This was a decision made after watching tons of North of the Border videos. After years of joking about it with Sue’s co-creator The Bargain Bin Hobo, it was finally decided to show Sue catching Pokémon. Or at least as many as I could fit onto the page. Was gonna include her friend Freeze Frame and boyfriend Action Replay, but they’re currently undergoing design tweaking. Instead, enjoy my Game Genie with her favorite pocket monsters. Oh, and unlike Most Gen 1 fans, Sue gave these creatures names:

Charizard = Smokey

Squirtle = Caravaggio

Digletts = Larry, Curly, and Fred

Muk = Labrea

Pikachu = Pikachu (why mess with a classic?)

Arbok = Irwin

Headcheese = Avidan (props to anybody who gets this reference)

Gardevoir = Mindfreak

Mew = Mewone

No doubt all you Poképurists are grinding your teeth right now at Sue’s audacity. Either way, I hope you all enjoy this DUDEL as much as I enjoyed drawing it! And remember: ff you’re gonna enslave tiny creatures to have them battle one another, the last you can do is name’m.

BONUS QUESTION: Which Pokémon is your favorite?

MAY THE GLASSES BE WITH YOU!

[chevelleneech]

I'm not really interested in BL culture, never watched a single BL drama (or just romance in general, really. Every time I try I experience major cringe because it's all so corny to me). I didn't know about MewTul until I read your post. I've been watching their old moments for the past hour and reading the comments lol

Typical comments on their videos are really like "they are so bro-coded/this is me and my sib" and some from those anti-shippers who like acting holier-than-thou: "I tried to see what those delusional MewTul shippers see but really all I see between them is a friendship and brotherhood/can't wait till they reveal their wives so shippers can cry/They are so straight". And a few talking about a Gulf, how Tul is teasing Mew in some moments because he knows about Mew's romantic relationship with Gulf.

Going through those comments has really made my day before it even started. They make me feel so exited and give me a weird feeling of vindication. I can't help but imagine what it would be like if Jimin & Jungkook's reality also turned out this way.

Apparently Mew & Tul have been friends for 10 years, even before they hit fame. They really are special to each other. Their story is beautiful.

I’ve watched some BL, and the cringe factor is higher than I think it needs to be. I feel like a lot of the times it’s due to how strict they play into top = masculine, bottom = feminine stereotypes, as well as how often there’s an aspect of the top being controlling, that sits weird with many people.

Other than that, I do enjoy some of it, which is why I knew of Mew, Tul, and Gulf. I especially heard of MewG, but I had no idea things got as toxic as they did within that fandom space. So like you, seeing how similar it all was, made me think about Jikook and Tkk, because how could I not? It all sounds nearly exactly the same as what Tkkrs say about Jikook, and even some of the positive things mirror a portion of my thoughts.

I do feel like it’s okay to say I am certain that I think Jimin and Jungkook got something going on, but I would never put myself in a position where I’m calling people crazy things and being hateful toward Tae. It is never that deep, mainly because we genuinely have no way of knowing if we’re right. Which is exactly what happened to people spewing hatred.

I understand the ones who were saying, “They seem like genuine best friends.” Because that’s all they had to go on really, since actors within the Thai BL world do a shit ton of fan service. I’m talking a massive amount, spanning years. It’s why I, someone on vaguely aware of MewG even assumed there was smoke there. Because for at least two years, I thought they just weren’t out. I didn’t look deeply into them, and there are other Thai BL ships I can see cases for, because again, these men be attached at the hip.

However, apparently that’s just part of their contracts over there. They play it up to keep people interest for as long as possible, but also, a lot of these pairings, if their first show together is well liked, end up sort of stuck together for at least another series or two. Which is fun, but also in my opinion, is what fuels fans to get kind of lost in the lie. Because if for two, three years for example, these guys are presenting themselves as a couple on screen and off, why wouldn’t fans fall into believing someone more could have developed? That’s usually how relationships start anyway, don’t they?

Anyway, I don’t want to get too long, but yeah. I get why a portion of their shippers were more hesitant to state outright they might’ve been dating for real, because the fan service runs rampant in Thai BL. But the hateful people being unwilling to look at the photos being posted by MewTul, and seeing how close the families of both of them were, and seeing how domestic they were once more info became available, and at the very least thinking, “Maybe they really are dating?” is crazy to me.

And again, it does sit very close to how Jikook interacts compared to Tkk, but me personally, it doesn’t make me hopeful JM and JK will go the same route. Mainly because they live in two different societies and social classes, even. They are objectively more famous, and may feel they have more to lose. They also don’t live in a country where being openly queer is often celebrated. Which, same-sex marriage being legalized is what spurred Mew and Tul to decide to come out in the first place.

So I do genuinely think Jimin and Jungkook love each other dearly, and are in a relationship, but I don’t know think we’ll see them come out in a traditional sense. If they choose to stay together and be more open, I imagine it’ll be them living together or within close proximity, and carrying on their daily lives as best friends and bandmates. And it’ll either be something they don’t talk about to avoid having to acknowledge the elephant in the room, which is then obviously dating, or it’ll be framed as them having “grown closer, and gotten used to being together everyday during enlistment,” so now they do everything together in civilian life.

[jenyifer]

Mew and Nick in brain soup.

I was trying to watch Top and Mew’s scenes trying to figure out a way to empathize with his character. And immediately I began comparing him to Nick. There was more there than I was expecting so worth a bit of brain soup.

Both are inexperienced in relationships. Nick’s experience is debatable but I think Boston is the first guy he felt so much for. Mew is a virgin and had been avoiding relationships for years. Mew used his inexperience to set boundaries with Top. While Nick let Boston take the lead in what their relationship was.

Both Nick and Mew are good students hard workers. Mew is a scholarship student. Nick works really hard on the Hostel’s website then his internship.

Both Nick and Mew are betrayed by TopBoston. Yes it’s wrong Nick recorded it and yes TopMew and BostonNick weren’t dating but they both were in a situationship that was leading to monogamous dating. Nick wasn’t okay with Boston fucking Top. But at the same time he acknowledged that he didn’t have a say since Boston made it clear to Nick they were just in a FWB. Nick took that pain and tried to just stay by Bostons side anyways. Nick was able to forgive but not forget. Meanwhile Mew wasn’t Top’s boyfriend told him that many times but they didn’t have a definition on what they were. Still Mew treats the cheating like a personal attack on him. Boston and Top must have been conspiring specifically to hurt him. Everything is about Mew you see.

Both Mew and Nick take a strike first plan when it comes to revenge. Mew using Nick to get the video from gap then blackmailing Boston into being his friend for a short amount of time. Nick kissing Atom then putting him in a situation to be exposed like how Boston was exposed by Atom. There is a difference though. Nick actually wanted Atom to repent and he sympathized with him. Yes Atom did terrible things but Nicks revenge allowed him to learn something. Mew’s revenge on Boston and on Top was simply to cause pain he didn’t want Boston or Top to learn a lesson he didn’t give a shit what happened next he likes causing pain. Nick could have done that… he could have let Boston punch him or let Boston keep attacking him verbally tearing him down. But Nick has empathy because he knows he’s no saint either.

I think that’s the biggest difference in the who started out as two innocent nerdy boys. Nick is rarely self focused it’s why he and sand get along so well. Both of them do have a lot of empathy for others. Meanwhile Mew only cares about himself. Everyone’s actions are against or for him. He doesn’t see the long term effects of what he does because it’s all about Mew.

I do think Mew and Nick would probably make good friends their compare and contrast aren’t as different as I thought they would be. Mews selfishness would be fine with Nick he doesn’t want to think about himself anyways. They could get a lot done if they worked together.

[le-trash-prince]

OF Episode 9 Thoughts

I had to watch without my friend this week so it was a less exciting experience without the usual screaming, but this ep was so good. Honestly I don’t know why people are worried about the show not having enough episodes left to wrap up all their plot lines because they cover SO MUCH GROUND in every episode

first off I’ve been internally screaming about SandNick since the promo pics dropped AHFKFJDJDJD THE WHIPLASH THIS CREW HAS PUT MY THROUGH TODAY.

Ray peaked in his full problematic era and it was finally to the point where I could fully enjoy it. Go girl, pressure Mew into having sex. Cheat on the boy you’ve been chasing for years, give Sand that toxic romance energy!

Top spent this whole episode in a precarious balance of trying to do right by Mew but pushing things too far, and he was always one sentence away from getting punched.

Atom son, you can’t say you weren’t warned or that Boston promised anything more. Boston’s “what the fuck?” was me too LMAO he just wanted to mind his own business doing photography research 😭

SANDNICK WERE EVERYTHING THIS EPISODE THO

I loved Nick coming in with “the logical conclusion is for us to have sex”

disappointment of my life that it didn’t click for them I WOULDN’T HAVE MINDED IF THEY WERE ENDGAME

smh at Ray crashing their roommate time tho THE MOST AWKWARD EXPERIENCE AHDJFJFJF

The SandRay convo in the river was the healthiest communication we have seen from any of these boys. Again we see the transformative effects of water 🙌

Also I was just so glad to hear Sand say so many things that needed to be said. That Ray could have gotten him arrested, that he treats Sand like a possession, that he needs to be nicer to Sand!

Mew falling asleep on his own couch is the realest sign of being Not Okay. I think he really needed some time with his parents, even if he couldn’t talk to them about what he was going through. Sometimes having an outsiders perspective that you’re not doing well can mean so much. I really think they were the catalyst for Mew sobering up. I’ll dig more into this later.

Honestly a relief that Top showed up at Mew’s to talk to him and not because he was stalking him and his moms. I can only deal with one stalker per episode thanks 😔🤚

Nick kissing two men in one ep YOU GO SON

The BostonNick bathroom scene was everything to me I need a separate post for this SHDKFJSJDBFBDBE I’M SO SAD MY FRIEND COULDN’T WITNESS THIS WITH ME WE’VE BEEN WAITING SINCE THE PILOT TRAILER 😭😭😭😭

I am begging Ray to go to therapy and to learn about ethical non-monogamy that man needs a counselor and two boyfriends

I don’t recognize the song that was playing during the SandRay sex scene but it definitely seemed like a brit rock song which is on brand and I appreciate

I’m so glad Sand didn’t do Ray’s social service for him oh my god THE BIGGEST RELIEF

I’m also glad Top decided not to show the video to Mew! So many good decisions this episode!! I hope he recognized that Mew has been through enough of that kind of drama and that there are better ways to learn about this kind of thing.

Also so glad MewRay talked things out and parted cleanly. Sometimes ppl really do gotta date a friend to figure out that it doesn’t work.

I appreciated the MewCheum convo a lot too.

Honestly this episode ended way more cleanly than I was expecting after part one. I think if Top had shown Mew that video, Mew really might have lost it and just killed someone.

BOEING!!!!!!

Next week’s preview looks so good!!!

[djeterg19]

so I don't really watch many bls but is it normal for them to be editing and cutting shit out on a weekly basis? I mean they thought it was important enough to put it in the preview but between then and now they suddenly decided they didn't need it anymore?? why? I can think of a few reasons and sadly none of them have to do with the actual storyline. they might still be endgame but my faith in it actually being done justice is pretty much gone at this point. especially with the teasing of the sex scene which is all they seem to think we care about. I'm just very frustrated for us but mostly fb who don't deserve this at all. (sorry just needed to vent and I saw your ask was open and decided to go for it lol thanks for listening)

Thank for the ask! Rant away! That's why I turned anon back on...it's been off for years due to a long dead fandom and figured it was time to open it up again.

I am by no means an expert because I've only been into BLs for a little over a year but I have never seen a scene shown in a preview get cut from the episode? Not in BLs anyways. I thought I was safe from promo monkey shenanigans here. I think part of the issue was they were still filming when the show started airing which has caused it to be rushed and choppy? I don't think there were many issues until episode 8 and things have started going off the rails since then. And I can understand why that scene was cut after seeing it but the entire angry!Mew turn this episode after him softening towards Top was...jarring and it didn't make sense to me.

And honestly if I didn't love ForceBook as much as I do and want to support them every way I can...this episode might've been my breaking point because my darling Mew was kidnapped by aliens and replaced with a pod person? And poor Force had one scene that was touted as super emotional and I'm pretty sure that was the cut scene where he cried. Both of them have been doing an amazing job and it just hurts to see their hard work end up on the cutting room floor.

I don't know that they can make the ending satisfying at this point for me either and the whole here's a sexy photo thing was... annoying. Like yes obviously I would like some sexy times after they reunite but Top and Mew need to TALK. They and Mew specifically need to sit down and discuss where they go from here and if they want to make things work. Because Top has said he wants to try again and how he would change and Mew...didn't really say what he wants or needs from Top. They substituted unnecessary drama instead. I don't understand the point of Boeing being brought in now with a revenge plot because it was just RayMew 2: Electric Boogaloo and I thought Mew had decided to move on from that. I just...did not enjoy that episode at all. Thanks for the ask and sorry if this was rambling!

[jgyapologism]

i'll drive, i'll drive all night sandray fic 👀

hahaha yeahhh that one actually has one chapter up on ao3 here

basically, i was inspired after ep 6 of ofts to do a time loop fic where ray crashes his car and dies and sand ends up in the loop to fix things (kind of like triage, if you've ever watched. if not you should)

i don't have a lottttt more written beyond what i've posted. i've been waiting to rewatch ofts so that i can get a refresher for what canon sandray are like (since my version of sandray was altered via hagbdsa)

however, i can leave you with this tiny taste:

Ray’s self-destruction is like re-watching a tape he’s seen a thousand times — even if it was technically the one time. Sand has seen Ray implode before. Shit, he’s held Ray in his arms as a poor attempt to glue him back together again more times than he can count; and Ray can’t even remember half of them. But this time around, he watches Ray give his speech and realizes its somber poetry: an ode to the friends who left him behind and left nothing but cardboard cutout versions of themselves behind. It’s the final shovel of dirt on a coffin he’d been burying himself in for years, and it almost sounds like a farewell.  Sand’s stomach drops.  Ray’s car swerving sharply to the right enters his mind, looping on a never ending cycle. The screech of metal as it slammed into the cement barricade; the smell of gasoline and blood and the waves of heat as Sand tried and failed to get to him in time; the solemn notes of a song that crackled through the speakers as a reminder of Ray’s final thoughts. Maybe Ray had taken that turn on purpose. Maybe he had decided — either in the moment or long before — that living was not a worthwhile endeavor. Maybe Sand’s mistake had been the pin to a grenade that had been buried for years, just waiting for the right amount of pressure to set it off. He sees it when Ray stumbles backwards and trips when Mew throws the punch — the look in his eyes that speaks of giving up — and Sand’s heart aches. “Ray—” “Get off me!” Sand pulls away, surprised and wary and a little bit hurt, despite having no right to be.  He follows Ray into the parking lot, because what else can he do but watch the tape over again and see it through? Briefly, his hopes rise when Ray doesn’t push him to the ground, doesn’t call him a whore like he did last time, but they’re soon dashed when Ray screams in his face and begs him to answer a question that Sand has no answer to. (What are we?!) His silence is taken as an answer. The heartbreak on Ray’s face is real — but Sand has no way of knowing whether it’s due to him or Mew or a culmination of unknowns that he’s unaware of because he and Ray don’t talk about important things. Not really. And then Ray is clambering into the driver’s seat and Sand is screaming and he hears nothing over the roar of the engine and blood in his ears but Ray still peels away, tires squealing as Sand tries to get a handle on his keys but his palms are too sweaty and fuck he can’t watch this again.

Hopefully I can work more on this soon, because I love the concept and ep 6 always breaks my heart b/c ray's angst is so real and visceral but to see it from sand's perspective just makes it all the more interesting.

i have so many wips at the moment actually it's the most i've ever had i think. which is both good and bad news for me and my readers jfdjdk i keep getting distracted.

whoops