#thing is conspicuously missing tho...

[brenshor]

Enid running into the Quad: Guys! Someone pushed Xavier down a flight of stairs!!

Eugene: *looks at Wednesday*

Bianca: *looks at Wednesday*

Yoko: *looks at Wednesday*

Wednesday: I have literally been here with you all the whole time.

[emmabirb8]

Ok ok, but have you thought about the fact that throughout the series, Nandor has saved or protected Guillermo's life just as much as Guillermo has saved and protected Nandor's? Because I have, and I am feeling Ways about it.

Obviously, Guillermo has always gone  above and beyond for Nandor as far as familiar duties go, and he has slain countless vamps to protect not only Nandor but also the rest of the household. It's a given and it's been a given from the start that Guillermo would do anything to keep Nandor (and his other housemates by extension) safe. He has outright said they are his found family, and it definitely shows. 

Well, in a slightly subtler way, the case is the same for Nandor. God, the things that Nandor has done for Guillermo - the risks he's taken, the knee-jerk reactions, the choices he's made? It is profound.

Consider that Nandor a. as a vamp is not expected to care about his familiar beyond using him as a tool to get things done, b. believes acting "aloof," aka unbothered and unconcerned, is key, and most importantly c. struggles heavily with identifying, working through, and expressing his emotions. AND YET, without even stopping to think about it, he:

Stepped in to stop that hungry vamp at Simon's club (Manhattan Night Club)

Refused to let Guillermo be eaten by the Vampiric Council (The Trial)

Stopped Topher from drowning him (Resurrection)

Kept Guillermo's slaying a secret after discovering that he had dusted Carol (The Return)

Told Celeste to "be kind to Guillermo" when he thought she was gonna be his new vampire mistress (arguably, this counts bc he was making an effort to ensure Guillermo would be treated well and kept alive under Celeste's watch) (Collaboration)

Defended him against the wrath of Nadja and Laszlo (the housemates Nandor has known, lived with, and loved for far longer than he's known Guillermo) who were 100% prepared to kill him every single night for a month while he was imprisoned in the basement (The Prisoner)

"Yanked" Guillermo away from the line of fire when he was acting as bait for The Sire and attempted to fix the situation himself (The Escape)

Immediately dove into the sewage hole in the floor to rescue Guillermo when he fell in (Reunited)

Volunteered to battle him in place of a more dangerous vampire at the Night Market (The Night Market)

Made sure he was okay at the end of the fight after pretending to snap his neck (The Night Market)

Nandor is the KING of repression, but actions speak louder than words, babes. This is not even counting the times he has shown outward kindness, affection for, and attachment to Guillermo to the point where it's entirely too conspicuous for anyone to believe he's not in love with him. (Tho he's apparently managed to fool himself well enough, hasn't he? lmao) 

Hell, I'm in a listing mood - let's recount those moments too, shall we?

Just off the top of my head, Nandor has canonically also:

Made Guillermo a glitter portrait depicting the two of them together as vampires as a gift to celebrate his anniversary of becoming his familiar (that he was clearly proud of and excited about and that clearly took a lot of effort and planning ❤) in the very first episode 

Held him up above his head to help him reach higher places when dusting and held him up in front of a mirror so he could experience the sensation of flying (like what vampire does that fr???? he was down bad even in the earliest eps) 

Become a blubbering mess worrying where Guillermo was while high on drug blood 

On multiple occasions actually took him flying by wrapping his arms tenderly around him 👀, then admitted he was his friend out loud in front of Nadja and the camera crew as early as ep 4 after feeling guilty about accidentally dropping him during a flight

Played chess with him (and it's implied this is a regular thing for them 🥹)

Been visibly upset each time Guillermo has left - it's heavily implied he missed even the smallest gestures like the hand holding, and he outright verbally expressed his hurt feelings in front of the entire Theatre des Vampires

Been distraught enough after the Celeste situation that he attempted to "win" Guillermo back first by talking to him and then by giving him another gift with the "beating off" pillow, and then actually complied with Guillermo's requests to be more respected and given breaks after that

Taken the time to go down and keep Guillermo company while he was imprisoned in the basement and made a genuine attempt to give him better quality food

Urged Nadja and Laszlo to treat Guillermo with more respect and to try to take an interest in his life at the casino

Reacted in a way that wasn't even the slightest bit angry (and in fact, he appeared grateful for it besides becoming excessively horny on main) about The Slap

Said he has "grown to have some affection for" Guillermo out loud to his face (which, for someone as repressed as Nandor, is huge)

Offered a very blatantly romantic turning scenario in which he expressed a desire to share soil with Guillermo, which, again, is huge 

Become markedly upset that Guillermo never showed up at the train station to accompany him on his trip

Started making steps in the direction of reversing their dynamic in s4 by doing things like helping Guillermo dry off and getting him a glass of water after he fell into the hole, paying more genuine attention to him and his life, expressing a desire for Nadja and Laszlo to be more serious and respectful of him, valuing his input (esp for the dick wish), and being appreciative of all the work he has constantly put in for him (whenever using his new penis 😏) 

Offered Guillermo the position of best man at his wedding which was clearly of utmost importance to Nandor, even more so than finding someone to marry in the first place 

Actually remembered the exact amount of years Guillermo has been his familiar/bodyguard and called him his "closest companion" in front of lots of other (arguably dangerous) vampires 

Been so excited and proud of Guillermo's moves when he was battling other familiars at the Night Market to the point of exclaiming "that's my fucking guy!"

Called Guillermo his friend out loud again when he got visibly worried he may have killed him

Admitted to Guillermo that he was afraid right before his wedding (!!!!), looked at Guillermo longingly/lovingly, accidentally revealed his desire to literally hug Guillermo close and kiss his face through his wish about Marwa (!!!!!!), and took a moment to whisper sweet nothings to Guillermo and cover him up when he discovered he'd fallen asleep (!!!!!!!!!)

Dorkily but sweetly prevented Guillermo from falling in the bg shot of Go Flip Yourself (like, truly, why would he care omfgggg he's so in love it's making him look stupid)

Actually made a very misguided but solid follow-through attempt to fix the Freddie situation as soon as he realized how upset Guillermo was about it

IT'S JUST SOOOO MUCH!!! I've been going through the series highlighting Nandermo moments for creative idea purposes in these last few weeks, and I can honestly say that I believe there are possibly more instances where Nandor has hinted at or displayed his feelings toward Guillermo than there are of Guillermo hinting at or displaying his feelings for Nandor. It's fucking insane you guys. 💖

[warmmilk-n-honey]

Ok part 2 of my dadbastian vampire au...

Seb is actually surprised that Ciel survived the transformation since he's tiny and Seb has never known of another child vampire. Sebastian also kind of lucks out finding out that his new charge was the son of a wealthy nobleman, now he gets to live in a giant manor! Before he was just kinda hopping around mostly living in like the woods, he's a very skilled shape shifter and was kind of feral before he started playing at being a fancy noble.

Seb is an extremely old vampire and is therefore pretty dang powerful.

Ciel adjusts to being a vampire poorly at first, he is just a baby after all and he's still grieving his family and dealing with his trauma. He does start to enjoy his un-life a bit though as he realizes he can take out his rage and trauma on adults, he can make adults suffer and he doesn't have to feel like a helpless child anymore, he likes feeling powerful. He develops quite the sadistic side which Sebastian can't help but feel pride for.

Ciel has a hard time sleeping in his coffin at first because of nightmares :( (Even though these vampires are physically dead when they sleep they still can dream.)

Sebastian has to teach him to be an earl and a vampire at the same time and he realizes he has his work cut out for him. He's definitely teaching his son all the wrong lessons just like in the manga.

Ciel is by no means powerful by vampire standards since he's so young, and needs Seb to help him with hunting most of the time-they eat the intruders trying to attack the manor.

Ciel starts to act like he doesn't care about his dead human family and this revenge thing is just a game to him, but deep down he misses them a lot. He also acts this way when Madam Red dies, not only because he's the dysfunctional sonboy we all know and love, but because he feels like he should be more detached from humanity and in many ways he is. Ciel also has a soft spot for the Midfords, though when he saw them for the first time after he turned it was rlly difficult for him to not eat them. He especially wants to protect Lizzy and keep her from knowing his true nature.

Ciel is also extremely gluttonous for blood and his hunger is difficult for Sebastian to satiate, his love for sweets transferred to a to a love for fresh blood :)! He grumbles about being hungry all the time and Seb has to warn him about feeding on conspicuous victims.

Queen Victoria actually knows about Sebastian and Ciel's nature but doesn't rlly care since having powerful undead creatures at her disposal doing her bidding is nice for her. (I mean she employed a 10 year old, what's stopping her from employing a vampire? Also because John Brown may or may not be a vampire...)

Being the queen's guard dog also provides more food for our vampires, they have an agreement with Victoria that they are allowed to eat the criminals they subdue instead of turning them into to the Yard.

While Ciel enjoys parts of undead existence, he did not think through becoming a vampire and really just wants to die for real. He hates being stuck in the body of a 10 year old and it's a great source of angst for him. He has also not properly dealt with his grief and trauma, and being a little sadist isn't actually good therapy for him, who would have thought!

He openly resents Sebastian for turning him, which Seb's dismissive response is always "well you chose this.🙄"

Their relationship is quite toxic like it is in the manga, the differences being that Seb doesn't have to be fake nice since he's not playing the butler role, and that he does deep down begin to care deeply for Ciel as his son.

On the one hand Seb regrets turning Ciel because he sees how much pain he goes through, but on the other hand he does like having this little thorn in his side around. He's still kinda abusive tho and their relationship is complicated, Ciel has slit Sebastian's throat on occasion, y'know how it is, kids🙃

Ciel also deep down feels attachment to Sebastian as a parent, but he would never admit it out right.

Ciel is lowkey planning to off himself after he gets his revenge but Sebastian hasn't rlly told him how to do it, they are weaker during the day and direct sunlight hurts, but it doesn't destroy these vampires (neither does fire). Ciel thinks Sebastian won't tell him because he's an asshole and won't tell him important vampire information, but the truth is simply that Seb doesn't want his son to kill himself, and doesn't want his son kill him! (Ciel would never actually kill Seb if he knew how, but these two suck at communicating their true feelings so...)

Also in this au all of the reapers are actually vampires-so vampire Grelle! (side note I've always seen the reapers as sort of vampiric especially when you consider certain vampire myths that say people who commit suicide become vampires!)

[cacaitos]

i shouldnt force this but what do you think abt kakugos whole rising sun reclaiming situation

hmm to be honest.. if it's from the heisei manga. to begin with, it's a ridiculously senseless manga all down to quality. on one hand you got the guy that goes on and on about violence and revenge is always the answer and a count- i mean someone without weapons is weak and prone to be abused by the Every Other and like a woman while a conspicuous rising sun waves behind him fighting the both iron-cross-wearing punk ultra masculine violent misogynistic Other thats also the degenate kink leather-wearing queer (in the slur way) Other. and for some reason im supposed to get any productive synthesis out of that conflict. and like, at some point it gets all so bold, and having read KnS first, i could only imagine as i read that it must be some kind of conclusion or twist or literally anything at the end. and it then it just ends on a random mid-fight scene.

again, having read KnS first, thats not only yk Finished but that also basically negates basically most of the plot and elements of it, in comparisson heisei not only seems but ultimately revealed as even more amateur, unripe, weak structured, unfinished, thoughtless and useless of a read. furthermore, as i understand from yamaguchi works even beyond KnS, that's still one of his earlier less polished works, his works seem to deconstruct (though i didnt say how successfully) at least from his own experience those value systems, dunno if to his own work specifically tho, if at least from a their media legacy/influence level. but that's an idea i got from that essay i rbd a while ago, idk maybe his manga abt the toku fan one is shit and takes down everything i just said, idk since i havent read it. i look forward to know how he executes shigurui and such, a the toku fan one too, to confirm first hand in time. even if yamaguchi didnt change his stance it's just Weird. Red Flag. but also i don't get the fucking point of it.

deviation aside, if you meant from kakugo no susume, tbh i dont remember if the rising sun thing got assigned to kakugo at x or y, if any, moment; memory fails me. but the military uniform, for ex, to start with is a fair thing to point out to begin with. yes, kakugo is The Good Guy thats categorically opossed to resembling his g.grandfather or his ideologies, yet wears a hs uniform alike to the military japanese imperial one. but focusing on only kakugo is kinda missing the wider landscape. i mean the manga is riddled with that kind of contradiction, and to pick on one is to pick on many others. now, i wouldnt consider KnS any like Mature internal dialogue of fascism or anything, despite at least the textual reprehension for the imperial mindset and material effects/atrocities. the authors themselves admit is kind of a dumb series not precisely unintentionally, and again not the most polished work of yamaguchi, if you wanted to get a thorough and concise conclusion on anything. even if you tried the story wont help you on it lol, thats the thing with questionable quality writng.

[delicrieux]

girl, not sure if you reblogging that prompt list means your requests are open but if they are, I would love to see "Apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together.” with Peter P if you would be so kind. If they're not open, please feel free to ignore this, and know that I'm sending you lots of love and hope you're doing well 🥰💞

hey queen . yes requests are open 💛 love u lots!! cant wait for the new COA chapter!!!(even tho i know it will be extremely painful)

MJ, from her locker, can see you and Peter strolling in, heads close together, whispering, laughing, oblivious to the two pairs of eyes watching your every move.

“I bet ten bucks that Peter’s gonna crack first and ask her out.” Ned says, crossing his arms over his chest with a smug little smile. MJ raises a brow, rolling her eyes and shutting her locker.

“Yeah...No way. Peter I’m blushing Parker is not nearly brave enough to do that. It’s gonna be (Name).”

Ned stares at her, “He’s Spiderman.”

“Yea, and he’s also a dumbass that can’t talk to girls. It’s gonna be (Name).”

Ned hums, “When do you think?”

She shrugs, “...I give it a month.”

“Two weeks.”

MJ narrows her eyes at him, extending her hand, “Deal.”

They shake on it. The clock starts ticking.

—*—

Your friends have been... weird to say the least. You felt like some sort of cloud, a secret, a myth, a something, had been hanging over your head and your curiosity had clawed up from mild interest to straight up panic. You heard the whispers, saw the terrible smirks and the strange wiggling eyebrows. It was like middle school all over again: you missed some sort of hilarious joke or were a part of one. The thought made you a bit ill, but then again, you knew your friends well — all of them are considerate, conspicuous! but mostly harmless — and if it was something serious they would have told you.

You could have lived your life like that. Simply. Saying “Oh well!” and continuing with your daily duties, your curiosity gone, non-affected, absolutely tranquil. But that is not you. And you deem this an Avengers Level Threat.

A week of pondering and restless nights and texts to MJ, Ned, Liz, everyone. The best you got was from Liz that was but a string of emojis and a: When you know, you know!

It’s Monday and the bell had rung and you are, unlike everyone else, in no rush to class. You stand by Peter’s locker, ready to corner him and demand answers. You know cracking MJ is impossible. Ned is elusive. Liz is too sweet for interrogation. Peter is your only hope.

You spot him bee-lining to Science and swiftly make your way to him. He stops when he notices you, smiles a little breathless, holds his hand up to wave but you buzz past him, yanking onto the strap of his bag and dragging him along with you.

“Hey—! I need to go to cl—“

“You can go later.” You hiss.

The yard is silent, save for the far away shouts and groans from P.E. You two hide behind the school where the smokers usually hang out, though their resident spot on the steps is empty as so you sit down. Apparently 9 o’clock is too early for pot or cigarettes. It’s not an ideal setting. But it’s safe. No teachers wander around here and the worst that can happen is... well, nothing.

“So.” Peter starts, shifting from foot to foot, “Uhh—...What’s up?”

“Tell me.” You demand. He frowns.

“Tell you...what?”

“The secret. I’ve seen everyone conspiring.” You explain, glancing away, “I wanna conspire too...”

“Oh! That...” He releases a breathless laugh, not quite amused, more anxious. His cheeks bloom in red and you raise a brow, “It’s uhh...Nothing, really. Just uhh—“ He glances at you, uncertain, his tone shifting from small to loud in an abnormal rate, “They-They— our friends, they uhh— Apparently they have a bet going that we end up together.” He stutters out.

You take a moment to process this information. A deep breath to calm the butterflies and the nerves and the sudden fry of your cheeks. You gulp, throat dry, standing up suddenly, fist clenched in dignity, “And how—“ You clear your throat, “How... till when?” You hope he understand what you are trying to say. To be fair you aren’t even sure yourself. But his eyes light up with recognition and he gives you a crooked smile.

“To my knowledge, the shortest time is two weeks. Ned’s idea.” He adds, more as an afterthought. You nod. You have never been so embarrassed in your whole life. Your friends are...shipping you with Peter? Next time you see MJ you will look her dead in the eyes and say: Et tu, Brute?

That is, of course, not to say you haven’t thought about asking Peter out, but you were hoping he would be the one to take the first step. Does he even like you? You like him. You like your study dates and movie marathons and dragging him along to shop. You like sharing music and going to Coney Island or out for coffee. And you like doing the same things with all of your other friends but when with him it feels different. More special. More fun. What is it that they say in times like these?

When you know, you know!

And you think you know. Slowly, a smile pinches your cheeks, and you look at him, almost expectantly, but he says nothing, simply stares, confused at your sudden change in manner.

“Sooo...” You drag, kicking a pebble with your shoe, “Maybe you’d like to like...I dunno... go... out... somewhere ... sometime?” You finish, squinting.

“Oh.” He grins, “Like after school? Sure! I’ll tell Ned and the others, we can all go.” You face falls and you look at him, suddenly exhausted, as if to say: Seriously? It hits him then and his brows shoot upwards, “Oh! Oh you mean like a date!” He laughs again nervously, staring somewhere over your shoulder, too embarrassed to face you head on. Your heart beats wildly in your chest. If he says no then— “Yes. Yes that would be... that would be awesome.” He says with a grin. You feel a weight lift off of your shoulders.

“Oh thank God.” You mutter, “That’s... Wow. Cool!”

You extend your hand to him as an invitation and he doesn’t even hesitate to take it. Hand in hand the two of you stroll back into the building before he abruptly stops.

“Wait, since we didn’t go to class...What do we do now?”

You shrug, “...Starbucks?”

“I was thinking more on the lines of the Library, but Starbucks is fine too.”

[firemblem-fics]

i’ve had this hc for a while that felix is probs betrothed to someone since birth (like glenn+ingrid) so how about ingrid’s sister (reader) is engaged to felix. they were close as children but after felix’s demeanor changed post-tragedy of duscur, she wants to get closer to him just as when they were children SKKSKSKS I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND IF YOU DONT DO IT THO CAUSE MAYBE ITS ConfUsing?? thank you babeee

i used this as a practicing ground for a little bit of angst im sorry if it's bad we all know im bad at angst because i hate people being mad

changed. | felix

"why don't you just talk to him about it?"

ingrids voice takes you out of your thoughts and you snap your eyes from the boy you were staring at to the girl in front of you.

"and what? get myself killed?" you sneer.

"no, and get some answers. felix seems like an ass but he's not to you, if you haven't noticed. im sure if you want to talk about something he'll give you the time."

"if you haven't noticed, hes still an ass to me. you've seen how he was before duscur, ingrid. i thought he'd actually be in love with me by the time we got married. but not now." you cast your eyes down to your plate, picking at it.

ingrid looked over at the boy to see that he was already looking in that direction. more specifically, he was looking at you.

"y/n, im telling you. go talk to him."

anxiety courses through your veins at the thought of just talking to him. "i-i can't. i cant, ingrid, he'll hate me. i have to go."

you stand up and walk out of the dining hall, door accidentally slamming behind you. ingrid looks over at felix, who is still looking where you sat. he makes eye contact with her and she jolts her head towards the door in a silent command.

felix understands and stands up, leaving the hall in a much more conspicuous manner.

you're sitting on the edge of the concrete surrounding the plants in the greenhouse. placing your hand on a little pansy, your heart starts to calm down.

that is, until the door opens.

felix walks and sits down beside you. after a few moments of silence, he manages to spit out an "are you okay?"

your lips press in a thin line. "i miss you."

felix's eyebrows furrowed. "i'm right here."

"no," you sigh, "little felix. before duscur. i miss when we could just play around and hang out and be happy for once. i miss my best friend. i miss having hope that you'd learn to love me before we got married so we both weren't completely miserable."

"people change, y/n." his voice seems to be sharper. "things happen."

"i wish they could unhappen."

"you wish what could unhappen? the tragedy of duscur? i wish that could unhappen too, a hell of a lot more than you. you're selfish for wanting life to change around your wants."

"felix, i didn't-"

"you didn't what? you didn't mean to imply that you don't like me now? that i'm not your friend? that i don't still love you?"

"what?-"

"the minute you stop living in the past is when you'll figure out that this future is better. now is the time you need to worry about. so take some time to yourself and think, what's really important? the past that you can't change, or the present that you can. and when you figure it out, come to me and change that."

with that, felix gets up and leaves the greenhouse. you wanted to chase after him- to hug and kiss him and tell him that he's right. but you can't.

you're rooted to the spot, eyes brimming with tears. felix had yelled at you. he'd never done that before. you had to have done something really wrong to make him that upset. but what?

your mind skimmed through the conversation. was it that you wanted his old personality back? no. he'd told you before that he wished he could be as carefree as he once was. that he's not your friend? he knows that's a lie, he'd force himself to be your friend on days when you didn't want to talk. that he doesn't love you?

oh.

you sprang up and ran out of the greenhouse, running towards the training grounds. you heard strenuous yells and grunts from inside, all recognizable as felix's. you stood at the side patiently waiting for him to finish, your heart pounding.

felix finally looked up and your breath caught. "what?"

"i'm sorry."

his eyebrow raised, "continue."

"i'm sorry for being,, well, selfish. for not thinking about how you felt and beating myself up by thinking about the past. you're right. i can't change it and it was stupid of me to think so."

felix sheathed his sword and walked towards you, standing closer than he'd ever stood before. "what else?"

"im sorry for thinking that you weren't my friend just because you had changed. im sorry that i couldn't see that this you is still you. that you're still my felix."

he hummed and raised his hand to twirl a loose piece of your hair around your ear. "your felix?" his hand fell to your cheek while the other dug its fingertips into your hip. "i think it's only fair that you're my y/n, as well."

"i'd like that. is this the change you were talking about?" you half-joked.

"what, turning my dreams into reality? of course."

[the-deeds-to-shibden]

Monday 26 August 1839

[Quite a busy and pleasant day. Ann starts it with producing a quality sketch of Uppsala castle, before joining her wife for a book-browsing session at the university library, where Anne really gets stuck into exhaustive (and exhausting) descriptions of the architecture and shelving, with a view to implementing some of that back at Shibden (sigh). Another visit to the cathedral provides snippets of Swedish history, followed by a trip out to the Old Uppsala, the capital of pre-Christian Sweden. Unbelievably, Anne completely misses the grave of Anders Celsius in the church there, which could have inspired her to get herself a few more thermometers with a scale she hasn’t used yet. What an opportunity missed! But they get to enjoy some first-rate secret-recipe mead and another beautiful sunset.]

[up at] 6 50/”

[to bed at] 12 40/”

fine morning Fahrenheit 61º and sun out at 7 1/2 – breakfast at 8 20/”  to 9 – Ann sketching the chateau from our room window – left her to finish (to colour) her sketch a little and I off to the library at 9 10/”  sent for Ann at 9 40/” ‘Catalogue general de la litterature Française contenant les ouvrages publiés en France, ……. pendant l’ année 1837 …. avec table systématique pour les ouvrages imprimés en 1837 et les Journaux de 1838. publié par la Librairie Brockhaus et Avenarius. 1ere première année. 3 francs Paris, Brockhaus and Avenarius, Libraire Française- -allemande et etrangère. Rue Richelieu, no 60.  Leipzig, même maison. They refer to la Bibliographie de Monsieur Beuchot and le Bulletin de Monsieur Cherbuliez – and Bibliographie d’Allemagne, paraissant à Leipzig the above lying on the table of professor Skraeder ancient history with Arabic books (published here) etc. etc. Had his pedigrees and papers pasted into book with whity brown paper leaves left about 1 1/2 inches broad – books about the breadth and twice the length of one common quarto i.e. narrow folio size

Laerebog i de romerske oldsager af S. B. Bugge rector ved cathedralskolen I Christiania. med fem steentryk. Christiania 1837. Trykt I R. Hviids Enkes Bogtrykkerie og paa keder Forlag af G. Hansen.

Beitrage zur genauern Kenntniss der ehstnischen Sprache. Neunzehntes heft. Pernau, beim herausgeber. Reval, bei Bornwasser. 1828.

Initia Homerica by Th. Burgess a.m. London 1820. printed by Dove – sold by R. Priestley – given to Upsala  by ‘Thomas Burgess episcopus Salisburiensis donatus 1837’

the Italian cabinet? made at Augsburg – very curious – Christina’s snuffgrater and box looking like 

a broadish knife the box at one end and the blade a grater on which the tobacco leaves were grated Real musk in a little lead box like a bit of a small animal bag or pouch       with short 1/4 inch long like bristles on it – Christinas small fusils to kill fleas –  Gustaf 3 died 1792 left chest about 3 feet 6 inches x 6 feet and about 2 feet 6 inches broad – and black leather covered box           to be opened in 1842. 2 of his drawings in Indian ink           dated the one a chateau 1763. (26 September 1763)           and a bridge and two towers one at each end or thereabouts of the bridge           dated ‘Gustaf fecit d[ie] 19 September 1763 Drotningholm  at the library till 11 1/4 – gave the man 32 skillngs banco a one rigs dollar note – content he then shewed us the new library – not yet finished tho’ some books put there on the ground floor – there at 11 25/”  new library bookcases au premièr 6 1/2 x 2 1/4 red books, handbook which is about 6 1/2 inches long height up to gallery = about 4 yards – pilasters between the cases – 3 red books wide i.e. about 6 1/2 inches x 3 = 19 1/2 to 20 inches Racking or shelf-grooves at every 2 inches –  about 2 inches left in front of the cases for hanging doors if wanted lock-up doors with wire net at the old library 5 or 6 feet high against the bottom shelves there will be book cases to front the pilasters Salle about 58 yards long and about 5 yards wide across from pilaster to pilaster – grand entrance in the middle 5 cases on each side the door and then 5 windows on each side beyond these 5 cases respectively – greenish – white veined or waved marble (like my specimen of the holy sepulchre at home) window seats about 2 feet 6 inches high from the floor – whole breadth of window including frame = about 5 feet 6 inches whole heighth including framing = about 10 feet up to bottom of gallery – glass 6 panes in heighth - panes about 17 or 18 inches x 10 and 4 panes in breadth i.e. 2 in each 1/2 opening with a spagnolette the whole heighth of the window – 3 yards and taken up by the partition down the middle which parts the whole floor into two similar book-galleries, a ballustred gallery running all round at about 13 feet high from the floor – the man said there was says there are 120,000 volumes – floor diamond flags size of those formerly in the hall at Shibden, of red-greenish porphyry (like the windowseats) – 2 rooms at each end of the book rooms and between these 2 rooms (at each end of the building) a spiral staircase to the top of the building, and leading also to an immense salle (over the library, i.e. au seconde) to be galleried all round above? with portico behind the pillars underneath the gallery? – alcove (is a sort of throne to be there or what?) at left end as one looks on the town this immense salle entered also in the middle by the great staircase as below – 2 flights of steps taking up a breadth of about 13 yards and a depth of about 16 yards in a projection towards the castle the opposite front looking exactly along a long straight road to Dannemora and old Upsala and on to the town, and a little to the left on the cathedral as now renewed since its being burnt in 1702 – (chateau, right, going up great stairs and looking towards the town) at the new library till 12 5/”  at the cathedral at 12 1/4 – the monument to the memory of Linnaeus is in a little side chapel (left, near the great west doors as one enters ‘Carolo a Linne’ | Botanicorum | principi |             amici et Discipuli | MDCCXCVII.’ the a = von = de = noble (e.g. Thomas a Beckett) above the inscription is a bronze head – side face – très ressemblant, by J[ohan] T[obias] Sergell ‘A[nno]: MDCCXCIV’ beautiful brown whitish green veined granite? from Elfdal north of Falun the marble of the window seats etc. at the new library comes from between Norköping and Nyköping – i.e. from the forest of Kolmorden (the comma over the en in Linne is to double the e) 

Linnaeus’s grand daughter died here (Updala) last spring and left to Ridder Bielca who married her sister a fortune that would keep ten cavaliers 10 horsemen i.e. ten men and ten horses and the terrain (but that depends upon the goodness of the land) that would maintain one horseman = 8-10,000 dollars banco purchase money, the terrain containing forest, fisheries etc. everything here counted by how much land will keep a man or horseman – the academy has as much (as the man said yesterday) as would keep a hundred men – and a terre to keep a man costs 4,000 to 5,000 dollars banco to buy it –  In buying land one ought ot have 6 to 8 percent for one’s money –  fine tomb from Rome in 1793 of archbishop Carolus Fridrik Mennander nat[us] 1712 ob[iit] 1786 formerly bishop of Åbo who translated the bible into Finnish – whole length of him, sitting, leaning on ‘Biblia Fennica’ – good likeness – 7 allegorical female figures all on a tablet under the figure of Religion carrying a large cross and leaning on an urn –  

chappel of Gustaf Wasa painted in fresco by

‘John: Gust: Sandberg pinxit 1831-1838’

Eric xiv and Jean iii sons of Gustaf Wasa and Charles ix his youngest son }

Left hand, on entering the chapel (behind the alter) the paintings are

over the pictures

arms      .  1st     Gustaf on horseback receiving the keys of Stockholm Riddarholm castle some years ago burnt down 

window .  2nd ____ on horseback (young) in a battle against the Danes

ditto    .  3rd _____ at Lubeck asking assistance – a Danish nobleman claiming him

ditto    .  4th   ______ at the peasants cottage in Dalecarlia with flail, entering the barn – a Dane seeking him

ditto    .  5th   _______ Haranguing the peasants in Dalecarlia

ditto    .  6th  _______ two bishops presenting him the 1st bible Eric 14 at his elbow who was again a boy, dressed in red

arms      . 7th ________ taking leave of the deputies, died soon after

 1 and 4 azure. 3 fold crowns (the arms of Sweden)

 2 and 3 azure. lion rampant or on 3 white wavy bands i.e. lakes (the arms of Gotheborg)

escutcheon of pretence arms of Gustaf Wasa

azure. a gold sheaf (gerb) called in Swedish vasa – supporters 2 lions or crowned proper

In the sacristie or room where they keep the 2 gold crowns lately taken respectively from the heads of Jean iii and his queen Catherine and some valuable gold cups etc. is the half length old wooden statue of the pagan God Thor – part of his left side gone and his right arm broken off from the elbow – gilded formerly – brought from old Upsala – many more old things all burnt with the cathedral in 1702 – this room is a sort of safe closet – safe from fire – 3 boxes of valuables put here as we should send plate to the bank for safety –            

Get at Stockholm, chez C. M. Carlson Roadbook of Sweden and Norway. 1830.  i.e. ‘Vägvisare’ Roadbook, bought a little one at Upsala.            for 12 skillings banco. –  came in at 3 3/4 – dinner at 3 55/” to 4 20/” – good – same as yesterday but herring-and-rice-and-potatoes-pudding with anchovy sauce instead of soup – off at 4 3/4 from Upsala alight at old Upsala at 5 1/4 – off to the tumuli close by the Dummer Cull judges’ hill first – then the 3 tumuli of Odin, Thor and Frea – all the 

very near together, and the      | cull, hill, collis. |      3 conical mounds very conspicuous all the way from Upsala – fine view from all especially from Frea because farthest from the church – quite close to Odin and impedes the view from him – good country about here –  more quite clear ground (clear of stones, boulders and rock) than we have seen elsewhere – therefore land valuable here – but no forest of two miles therefore wood dear – large extensive plain on all sides – merely a few bits on the Eastern side, that one can just see encumbered with stone to remind one of being still in Sweden – the church small – not worth going into but expected (disappointed) some to see there some funeral urns found in 1 of the tumuli – fine view of Upsala – its castle looks well from here – its 2 (there are only 2) round towers (North and Northeast corners) seen, and none of the ugly pediment side seen – the  2 cathedral-towers are seen as one – and the peasants’ church tower and one other church tower one seen in one line –  Beyond Frea’s tumulus a little range of hill and the foot of this and of the tumulus itself towards the village and Upsala studed with little hillocks – on the other side the tumulus and range of hill is a little    lake – Ann is sketching the church – she did the castle very nicely this morning – Old Upsala pretty little picturesque gardeny village –  a peep at the little River – a minute or 2 in the old church – nothing worth seeing in it – back at the house to drink our bottle of mead at 6 5/”  excellent – good as champagne – how to make it is a secret – heirloom secret – 24 Rigs skillings per bottle – a pink mead at 48 skillings but she has none at present – off again at 6 25/”  in 20 minutes a little rock and boulder and Sweden again – excellent road charming evening – beautiful sunset – Hogsta should be Uggelsta single house – poor little place – could not sleep there – next stage . . . Andersby . . . 2 1/8 miles – nice open country – sowing rye and reaping it –  at Dannemora no! Ӧsterby near Dannemora, at 11 5/” –  we had to call the people up – very fine day – Fahrenheit 62º now at midnight –  

Anne’s marginal notes:

Catalogue of French books Paris and Leipzig

§

Initia Homerica

Christina’s cabinet

New library

order such at Shibden?

vide bottom of next page

new library

salle au seconde

Kolmorden and Elfdal marble vide bottom of last page

manner of estimating property

bishop Mennander who translated the bible into Finnish

WYAS Catalogue:  SH:7/ML/TR/13/0009    SH:7/ML/TR/13/0010    SH:7/ML/TR/13/0011     SH:7/ML/TR/13/0012

One of the frescoes by Johan Gustaf Sandberg in Uppsala Cathedral showing the exploits of King Gustav I Vasa (Gustav Vasa Speaking to the Dalecarlians at Mora):

The three tumuli (the Royal Mounds) at Old Uppsala:

The church at Old Uppsala, which Ann sketched:

Interior of Carolina Rediviva, now the main building of Uppsala University library; a work in progress when Anne and Ann visited it and Anne described it so thoroughly:

[ssaalexblake]

star wars spoilers

ros spoilers

move onnnn

like actual proper major spoilers and i’m making this intro long in case mobile decides to hate read mores today

... 

...

Anyway like, i am a Shallow sw viewer who isn’t actually likely to kick up a fuss abt what i didn’t like in any serious way even tho i got issues, But i wanna say what i really liked b/c?? there were moments in that movie with themes i Loved and i don’t wanna be negative nancy for this franchise because i am actually incapable of taking it seriously tbh no matter how wtf or wild it is and i just Gotta;

First of all. The entire franchise was worth Rey it for calling Leia Master. 

like, they added her in best as they could, which wasn’t fabulous but i can’t really say how they’d work their way around that tbh so i’m not gonna rag on abt the Leia plot But god they proper confirmed she was a Legit Jedi thank u V much.

Chewie!!! Got!!! his!!! medal!!!

they put porgs in the movie, it was my only request and i recieved. i am content. 

also the effects on old palps were Incredible and Creepy and!!! props to the vis effects teams

also s/o to the choreographer who planned out rey’s fighting style to look like gymnastic tumbles but with a murderous glow stick. love it.

idk what extended sw canon now says about force powers being able to heal But the old eu book shatterpoint is one of my faves and i loved the inclusion that Rey can just like. Heal. 

also lol i heard daisy ridley on the radio this morning and she was supposed to be requesting songs to air but didn’t know the names of them and i have Never related to anybody more than i did in that moment. 

look ok, that rey and kylie could literally fight each other when not in the same room was Really Cool ok

tho i would have Paid to have seen the pov of an outsider while they had lightsaber battles from miles away tbh b/c that would have been Wild

i had one Horrified moment where i thought the ‘rise of skywalker’ thing was a Pun about kylie dragging his ass up from that hole and u have No Idea how thankful i was @ the Rise sequence

also i, a massive mace windu fan, was Ecstatic his voice was present in the proceedings

which were A) tacky and B) Abdolutely my favourite thing ever. 

it’s a space opera ok i am allowed to Want to be here for the tacky heartwarming shit

‘is that the navy??!?!?!?!?@ ‘ no sir... it’s.. .People’ was one of the funniest yet heartwarming sequences in anything ever ngl

HORSE WARTHOGS

inexplicable lin manuel miranda cameo

rey’s temper explained due to the fact that she is related to... Vilanelle

and look ok, i Always hated the idea of Rey being related to the skywalkers and Any crap meta that she had to be family for it to Count properly. It was an insult to found family, any form of adoption etc etc and i am.. Actually very mollified by this familial turn of events lol. It has a certain symmetry. and sw is literally built on the idea that history repeats but... different. 

i was’t against rey being related to anybody, i just didn’t want her to be a skywalker because like... she was gonna Be a skywalker b/c legacy isn’t about blood, and uh... least i was right. i am naturally happy abt this. 

also when i watched tlj the first time i was CONVINCED at the end of the movie she’d raise luke’s x wing from the depths as yoda did for luke in esb, and was Super off put that i was wrong. I was not wrong just... my timing was off. luke rose the x wing for her. ur yoda now luke. deal with it. 

the other ex storm troopers who laid down their weapons!!! all of them!!! fin is not alone, they only have power by making you think you are alone!!! 

i Really loved that thematic thread btw

also richard e grant’s performance was actually kind of chilling

but i am glad that i can still happily say that every character in sw Is a total unmitigated idiot. All of them. Stupid. Idiot rights. Yes, this is a plus point. 

i also liked that it’s Kind of obvious hamill and ford picked up slack for what Would have been carrie’s scenes??? Like, it’s horrible she’s not there but they obviously care to do that in her stead. it’s sad but makes you smile. 

as much as i’m not a kyle fan and never will be, and as much as i am not a fan of the ship, i can’t say there there weren’t decent thematic threads around the rey and kylie plot. Her symbolically killing kylie in a fit of rage, actively actually rising to his bait, realising as luke did in the roj climax that she had let the dark side get the better of her But having the power to take that Back and heal him and Stop even after she’d done something. It’s like the originals but not. And so, kylo is dead and Solo walks again. Was this plot My thing? No. But i appreciate the symbolism of him being stabbed through the stomach like he did to Han, and i appreciate the contrast of her actions after doing that versus His after he did it. What a difference. 

i said this wasn’t a complaint post but u wanna know the worst part abt the movie??? how cheap the sith dagger looked. surely u can do better than that???

anyway, 3po’s red eyed when he translated the sith was hilarious tbh. 

also hilarious: sw’s response to hiring Another brown haired white lady was to Only show her eyes in a way that was Incredibly conspicuous and was therefore unintentionally hilarious. 

Finn is Explicitly force sensitive now and it’s over for y’all 

wedge!!!

like... the sith amphitheater???  with the ghosties of all sith past (i think??? my interpretation anyway) was Genuinely creepy??? 

this is a Bit of a side note, but Luke was Perfectly in tune with tlj luke??? Because tlj luke changed tune before the end of That movie when he gucci booted his astral ass to distract kylie, him Saying his fear was wrong was merely verbal confirmation of what was portrayed in tlj. really. That’s not them backing away from tlj, it’s afffirming it. 

i really loved that hux just got That death. I liked  that while he Was used for ridiculous comic relief, the narrative did not forget he was just straight up evil. 

L A N D O

that i all. that’s the point. just lando.

sheev palpatine’s late entry for Shittiest parent/paternal figure in the sw universe Was at the eleventh hour but by god did he give it his all to win the competition. 

things only relevant to cm fans: they killed kate callahan’s husband!!! :((((

critics are slamming them for like, hardly killing anybody but I for one am happy they didn’t go grimdark and just went. Fuck it, we’re gonna keep being bullheadedly optimistic and most everybody lives, deal with it.

s/o to that gay moment that lasted like 2 solid seconds but i’d have preferred it if she’d been like, making out w/ chewie tbh.

that hug!! the trio hug!! my ot3!!! that i am even more convinced would Properly work as an ot3, too btw. Poe spent the whole movie jealous finn is into Rey, while confused abt it b/c He’s also kinda into Rey in that han/leia Tension kinda way, but Finn is also into Poe but not in the Puppy way he is with Rey, in the ‘i am so in love w/ you i don’t realise it but i trust you with the world’ kinda thing and Rey also has the Tension thing w/ Poe and would do anything for Finn but she’s like... Busy. B/c like, unfortunate family reunions and the awkwardness of being a millennial Actually offered a decent job that your morals do not allow you to take and the crisis that leaves u with. 

anyway what i’m saying is the ot3 is Sailing in my head. look how it ended!!! Sailing. 

however, i would like it known that the lady at the end Should have heard the word skywalker and Run for the hills. missed a chance. 

But also Rey Did find that family of hers Maz told her she’d get ahead of her!!! i hate how many ppl say that was dropped or forgotten. like wtf??? what are finn and poe and chewie and bb8 and 3po and all the army of droids that love her and all the resistance that does too??? Luke and Leia??? y’all obsessed with blood when it comes to sw. She’s got her family. 

now i Could make a complaints post but i just... I’ll leave that to everybody else and their mothers for now bc they’d be better at it anyway. I liked This stuff. Except for that point about the dagger. that sucked. 

[monkey-network]

Why's Pride Month make you feel more insecure? All the attention put on it (which is honestly why I don't engage with much/any lgbt stuff during the month, even if I fall under the term), or something else?

Well. I suppose it is the conspicuous attention combined with my depression on missing out, or DOMO.

Not that I’ll ever find anybody celebrating a bad thing or that pride celebration’s bad in general, but being somebody who’s generally hetero and having been on tumblr for years, where most talk of heteros is of them being the worst, with the platinum justification for it being “well, now you know how every other sexuality feels on and off the web” or “you’re the norm so who are you to complain?”, most times this month, for the past couple years, I feel like castrating myself cuz I’d rather have and be nothing than be uncomfortably associated with the current year target punching bag. I rarely talk about my sexuality and attractions online cuz for most times, I never feel comfortable doing so.

And, it’s the same of how I feel about Black History Month. I’m a black man, and I enjoy whenever black people around the world & throughout history are getting that excellence, but my interests during the month are more than trying to constantly validate the blood I have. I know this ain’t a universal feeling, but you know.

And yet, I do care a little about myself and it would honestly be nice to express myself a little in this month of validity and acceptance. But, I can’t cuz I honestly don’t know how nor do I really ever want to anymore. It’s considerably ironic, but I digress. Again, not saying people should stop having fun nor do I want to claim victimhood, this is how I feel deep down.

Tho I’ll always see to be supportive of my LGBT+ friends and family because being a good person is something I always strive to be regardless.

[bthump]

So I have a theory from a friend. Assuming that Griffith is gay or bisexual with a preference for men (I know that's a problematic reading, but shhhh), a friend pointed out that there's definitely at least a good amount of inferred homophobia in Midland, if not directly stated a few times. What if *part* (not all, not even a majority) of Griffith whoring himself out is that he basically was punishing himself for his sexuality?

Just to get this out of the way first lol, I don’t think it’s any more or less problematic to hc Griffith as bi vs gay, so I wouldn’t worry too much about that. I always just default to reading him as gay bc it makes sense to me and bc I prefer that headcanon, but u do u. Wait, unless you mean it’s problematic to read him as non-straight in general. In which case lol, it’s a lot more problematic to read him as straight but with a ton of gay subtext heaped on because he’s the eventual villain, so that’s on Miura.

Anyway.

I could potentially see this as a reading? Like if you take it as read that internalized homophobia is a factor in Griffith’s narrative, and I def think that’s really easy to make an argument for whatever Miura’s intent actually was, you can potentially like, lump it together with his general self-loathing as a contributing factor. Because I do think that a big part of why Griffith prostituted himself to Gennon was guilt and self-loathing, like I think of it largely as an act of self-harm that he managed to justify logically to himself, basically. So imo there’s room there for your friend’s take.

Personally I always read the Gennon thing as contributing to his internalized homophobia rather than being a result of it, and I think there’s maybe a little bit more indication of that in canon, but there’s no real reason it can’t be both. After all this is all really like, nebulous and subtextual at best, completely reading into things at worst lol, it’s not like there’s a lot of direct evidence for any of this tbf.

Like when I say there’s a little bit more indication I mostly just mean that we’re pretty thoroughly shown where the particular guilt that factors into his decision to prostitute himself comes from, ie the dead kid and people in general dying for and because of him, so there’s no sense that we’re missing part of his motivation. And also the way we immediately see the encounter with Gennon contributing to his negative self-image when he asks Casca if he’s dirty and then starts calling himself unclean.

But yk, we know that Gennon wasn’t the start of his chip on his shoulder about nobles, or his tendency to bury his feelings, so maybe he’s not the origin of his sexuality issues either. And it makes real-world sense to assume that Griffith would already have some internalized homophobia if he’s at all aware of his sexuality at that point, because like you said, just look at the world he lives in.

Tho on the off-chance Miura deliberately wrote Griffith as attracted to men and repressed I think it’s more likely that he would’ve intended Gennon to be the origin of that repression, based on how he centres personal trauma moreso than societal influence in the narrative, and how he paired the Gennon flashback with Casca very nearly telling Guts that Griffith is in love with him, which tells us it’s a contributing factor to their relationship, specifically the way it’s a trainwreck. Textually it’s only a factor in that it explains why Griffith is obsessed with his dream, ie guilt and self-loathing, but come on.

It’s like, for both Guts and Griffith, trauma and self-loathing go together and lead to taking up the sword to pursue a dream to make themselves feel better, which is what ultimately separates them and ruins both their lives. It’s never outright stated that both of them having been raped by men contributes to their inability to define their relationship as love and turn to each other instead of dreams (at the same time at least), but it’s a pretty damn obvious addition, like straight up conspicuous in its absence from the literal text imo.

Uhh sorry this ended up really meandering. But basically yeah as like a headcanon I think that your friend’s theory is entirely believable. As an analytical interpretation of canon it’s like, maybe not all that supported by evidence, but imo it still fits the themes of the story and the tone of the scene and Griffith as a character.

[bluespiritpaintedlady]

Chapter 3 (excerpt)

Ok, I’m gonna do one more post for today and then I gotsta gooo. Otherwise my entire day will be sucked up by Tumblr. Gah! Ok, so I don’t have any pics or music for chapter 3, so I’m just gonna put an excerpt from it here. Happy reading and I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for your time! 💙💜💙

(Full story over on Ao3 - Love Endures by: Bluespiritpaintedlady)

The context is that Anastasia had met Mitsuya yesterday and he’d invited her to come to his fashion show. The next day she is struggling with whether or not to go. This is the beginning of what transpires…

Without further ado…

Chapter 3 (excerpt)

Of course she’s not gonna be here. Of course! Don’t be stupid, we JUST met and she was probably totally freaked out and turned off by me, just like most girls seem to be. Ugh. They all want a “man’s man”… He shakes his head, the feelings of anxiety, uncertainty are starting to overwhelm him again. No, stop it! You can think about that later, right now FOCUS!

The show begins. With each piece that goes out on stage, he glances out to see if she is there but every time he is disappointed. Despite this, the show is going well and he smiles each time he hears one of his Toman brothers shouting praise in the audience. Those guys… He rolls his eyes but his confidence grows a little bit more with each “whoop!” and “Yeah, Mitsuyaaa!” He has to laugh. Oh man, I bet the uppities are really hating this. Ha ha ha…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, back at her apartment, she finally decides to go… It took her several hours to work up the courage and even then only because she promised herself it was only for a quick peek in and then she’d leave. She hadn’t been able to answer the questions that Rei had asked, to her satisfaction, and a little puff of cloud, a wisp of hope had dared to rise up within the dark forest of her soul. Maybe…

That one thought, that one belief… Maybe… It was pregnant with possibility, maybe even faith, to an extent. She had to believe in something that had no real proof for it, in fact, if anything, the evidence was leaning strongly otherwise in her case. But still, maybe… She couldn’t deny her curiosity. 

She went back and forth between dressing up and not, but she finally decided she didn’t want to make a scene or be noticed. She just wanted to blend into her surroundings, get lost in the crowd. So she quickly threw on a hoodie, pulled up the hood and threw on some sweatpants. And out the door she went, not really thinking about the fact that at this particular function, dressing like that was actually going to make her waaay more conspicuous. 

With each minute that passed, her steps quickened their pace. Before she knew it, she was almost running. Ugh, if I don’t hurry I’ll miss the whole damn thing. It’s already a half hour into it. Then she decided, fuck it, and just ran the last block. She arrived at the doors and stopped a second to catch her breath, her hands on her knees. 

Whew! I really AM crazy, she thought and she had to laugh at herself. What am I even doing here?, she thought further, almost as if in a daze. The urge to run back home came on strong then, almost like an onset of stage fright. The moment of truth was upon her. Was she really going to walk through those doors and do this thing? Her left foot made a slight movement back…

“Are you ok, Miss? Are you going into the show?” Shit! Now I’m stuck… “Y-yesss…?” “Is that a question? Ha ha.” He flashed her a big smile. That darkness behind his eyes tho… “Trust me, you don’t want to miss this. My friend, Mitsuya, is the best designer in Japan, maybe even the world.” Another smile that misses his eyes. “Uh, yeah…”

He could tell she wasn’t convinced. He switched tactics like the wonderful tactician that he was. “Actually, I’m really glad you’re here.” Her eyes widened. “Wh-what?” “You see, I’m late to show up and I feel like shit about it. I wasn’t going to come tonight, either. “ Either? How does he know?

“But, in the end, I had to be here for my friend. It’s not about me, it’s about being here to support him. He deserves it. And, so I’m glad you’re here so I don’t have to walk in looking like a total jackass. If we go in together, we won’t be so obvious, y’know?” Another smile. “O-ok, I guess.” “Good, now let’s get in there before the show’s totally over”, he said and held out his arm for her. She linked her arm in his even though she really didn’t trust this strange man and walked through the doors with him.

“By the way, I’m Mikey. What’s your name?”

[derelictarchive]

march 2022

Not a Ball or a Chain by HollowIsTheWorld

Trafalgar Law grew up hoping he would be one of the handful of people to never develop a soulmate mark. Now that that hasn't panned out, however, he's willing to settle for just never meeting them. Unfortunately for him, Monkey D. Luffy is a hard person to avoid.

lawlu

79k wc, rated T

8.5/10

this is from law’s pov, and its such an amazing read, i enjoyed every second of it. altho sometimes i do feel like we’re in law’s head for too long, but that might have been purposeful, bcs law thinks way too much. its a soulmate au but law doesnt want a soulmate but gets one anyway. the talk about soulmates, and luffy’s idea of it is also really good. a genuinely enjoyable and good read. 

Never Say Never Say Never by HollowIsTheWorld

Sabo misses one New Year's party and apparently he misses all the important family updates.

genfic, ASL brothers 

sequel to not a ball or a chain

6/10

this is cute, just sabo catching up to what happened between luffy and law over dinner. its very cute, luffy is very cute, theyre a big happy family i love them sm

temptation by AlchemicAlys

Law just worked a long shift, all he wants to do now is get Luffy home and go take a nap, preferably without either of his overprotective brothers breathing down his neck. As with all things, though, Luffy continues to excel when it comes to upending all his plans.

lawlu

4.5k wc, rated E

7.5/10

so cute!! they have sex in the shower while ace and sabo is returning home lmao and then luffy had to announce to the world that he and law took a shower together its so cute hshshhss

Condom conundrums by pandacheeze

As a convenience store clerk, this is the first time that Nami's seen a guy underestimate his condom size. Mr. Tall, Dark, and Tattooed here is certainly bigger than 52.

lawlu

1.3k wc, rated E

7/10

honestly one of my favorites lmao i love how nami is the cashier and gets nosy over them, and when law said the condoms are for luffy “so he doesn’t mess the bed when he comes” ????? tHATS SO FUCKIN GHOT SDHFJSDF and it’s cute too lmao

Bad Habits by SailorHeichou for paulinkaaxx

They'd been neighbors for years, but Law never would have imagined that the adorable little boy with the sunny smile would grow up to be such a seductive little shit. Now, he was praying to every divine being he didn't believe in to save him from the temptation that was Monkey D. Luffy.

Or,

The fic in which Luffy is a cam boy and Law discovers this in a very interesting way. Awkwardness and a lot of sexual tension ensues.

lawlu, zolu

10.8k wc, rated E

7/10

quite good, and theres zolu in here too lmao. luffy is a little shit, but hes a horny and sexy little shit and law digs that. law is a pervert who watches his neighbor over the window lmao. i think this is one of the first lawlu fic i read? 

Snezhnaya's Greatest Hole by auriadne

“Mr. Zhongli. You’ve heard of him?” That funeral consultant in town. He’s had a few dealings with the Fatui. An odd job or two. The parlor director had chastised them for bringing in too much business. It must be how he and Tartaglia met. He's an eccentric man. Particular and precise. Seems a bit stuffy for Tartaglia’s type. The Fatui soldier scoffs. “How could I not with him moaning out his name all the time. Never says anything about it, though. Do you think he even realizes-?” They both laugh. For one with such talent and power, their Harbinger can be willfully blind. “That he has it bad?” … Or, Childe brings a little too much conspicuous pining for a certain Liyue funeral consultant into his regularly scheduled Fatui fuckfest.

fatuixchilde, zhongchi in last chapter

13.5k wc, rated E

7.5/10

oh my lord. childe is a fucking slut. he just wants zhongli’s dick and is desperate for it that he’d fuck everyone in his team pretending its zhongli’s cock lmao. the last chapter where zl fucks him while everyone is watching is probs my fav tho lmao 

a little less conversation, a little more touch my body by reptilianraven

“So,” Thoma says, the fear in his chest fluttering away in the face of Ayato’s no nonsense honesty. “You’d be alright with it? If I decided to—”

“Fuck your way through Ritou to get the job done? In case you forgot, it was my idea in the first place. But to be perfectly clear: yes, I’d be alright with it.” Ayato leans down to kiss Thoma, and gods, he loves this man. “Afterall,” Ayato’s words go a touch darker. “No matter who gets a taste of you, at the end of the day, after all is said and done—” The honeyed desire of Ayato’s voice drips against Thoma’s lips; sweet, intoxicating, addicting. Gone are all the doubts, replaced instead by desire and excitement. “—you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” Thoma nods in dazed hunger, wrapping his arms around Ayato’s neck before he lets out a cheeky grin. “Care to make me remember that before I leave?”

-

Thoma has less than a month to build a solid enough network of relationships on Ritou to establish himself as a worthwhile fixer, and that’s nowhere enough time to win people over.

Ayato suggests a method that’s sure to speed up the process.

ayathoma, everyone x thoma

3.6k wc, rated E

5/10

thoma is a slut, what else do u need to know? altho i wish there were more actual ayathoma here lol 

Curiouser and Curiouser by thebetterbina

Zhongli is not exactly disappointed when he finds the sex toy in their bedroom.

They have wildly different schedules. Being a CEO meant contracts and five hour calls to Shanghai at 2AM, while Childe’s job took him around the world depending on where the client was. He could be in Dubai escorting a prince on a day out, or in the Mediterranean with some actress who wanted to get away from the paparazzi.

He understands that finding time to spend together can be difficult, Zhongli doesn’t fault his boyfriend for finding an… outlet. He’s heard enough stories of people in similar relationships to theirs, spouses getting caught out cheating, and he’s glad for his young lover’s faithfulness in choosing a silicone substitute.

So Zhongli is not disappointed. Only displeased perhaps, that Childe hadn’t come to him.

zhongchi

3.4k wc, rated E

6/10

ITS THE MAGIC FLESHLIGHT AU FUCK YEAH other than that, nothing special or memorable

Handful of Ambers by hanamakiisbae

"Is there nothing we can do?" Kiyoomi asked softly.

Atsumu turned his face into Kiyoomi's neck, nuzzling into the bite mark on his gland.

"A kamaitachi and a kitsune were never meant to mate," Atsumu sneered, his words filled with pain. "Even ancient magic can't aid us."

Atsumu clenched into Kiyoomi's kimono, his hands shaking from anger and misery.

"The gods are mockin' us, my dear kamaitachi."

—

Atsumu and Kiyoomi realize they cannot have children. In an act of desperation, Kiyoomi asks Atsumu's gods for guidance.

But gods are pesky beings, and such wishes come with a heavy price.

sakuatsu

3.7k wc, rated T

7.5/10

a part of the DILG world!!! atsumu and sakusa cant have babies but omi loves him so much and prays to atsumu’s gods and his prayer is answered! one way or another!! i love how domestic they are and how motherly atsumu is :(( when he teased atsu and he got shy and blushy shdfjsfhjsdfhsd oh and especially love the last line, about them being the gods’ “favourite pair” :((( greatest love story of all time methinks

Waving Grass Valley by childelike

Staying at the Emerald Maple Inn with Diluc wouldn’t be so horrible if Childe could hold himself together and act as he normally would.

Yet here he was, daydreaming about the elaborate ways Diluc could make him fall apart every time Diluc so much as looked at him.

That was the worst part—that he wanted Diluc to do sinful things to him and not the other way around.

What a disgrace. He only hoped the Tsaritsa couldn’t hear his begging prayers, wherever she was.

diluchi

7.6k wc, rated E

6/10

SUBMISSIVE AJAX BEST AJAX hes just a bottom bitch and diluc fucks him hard. yeh.

Writhing in Purgatory by RosesInTheWaves

Zoro has about had it with Sanji and Luffy announcing to the entire world they are fucking every night. When Luffy decides to bother him after his agitation has reached it's boiling point, he gets a side of Zoro that makes him weak in the knees.

zolu

3.7k wc, rated E

6/10

always love a good zolu. sanlu are fuckbuddies but luffy has always wanted zoro and zoro finally takes action lol 

Waiting for Fridays by AlwaysAskew

“You think you could fit your fist next time?”

Zoro couldn't deny Luffy anything, he knew it was going to happen the second Luffy asked him to, and Zoro found himself actually wanting to get his fist up Luffy’s ass, strange as it may sound.

zolu

3k wc, rated E

5/10

theyre boyfriends!! luffy is still in high school i think but he visits zoro every weekend and he just... wants a fist up his ass. relatable. 

[mdwatchestv]

The Magicians 3x10 + 3x11: What Even Are the Rules

Hi, I know, I know I missed a week. It was too late to watch ten, and then eleven was out, and then we just entered total despair free fall. Now here I am Tuesday trying to pick up all the pieces and figure out how I'm going to fit two plot-busting episodes into one reasonably lengthed missive. But I will take up this quest with all the misguided dedication of Beast!Quentin. These episodes were very different in style but Julia's storyline took center stage in both of them, which means maybe I was right to group them together and everything's going to be okay.

We go into 3x10 with only TWO keys left to find and four episodes to find them in, sounds pretty achievable! Q and his current sidekicks, Alice and Josh, learn the next key is in the throne room at Fillory, hey we know where that is! But this retrieval task is made more complicated by the recent overthrow of Eliot and Margo. Our royal pair have taken up residence on their new friend the Muntjac, who can now take to the skies! Also the Muntjac must have a fabulous wardrobe because that Margo's magenta corset and Eliot's sparkly muumuu (?) were to die (Wed morning edit: these outfits were in 3x11 but I was really excited to talk about them) . Q and co somehow hike through Fillory, get all the goss, and then board the ship in the sky. This all happens off screen so I guess we’re not supposed to worry about it. They conveniently deliver the plot point that Fillory is at war with Loria and the Stone Kingdom, due to the violent incompetency of Tick Dick Pickwick. Eliot and Margo springing into action to figure out how to save their kingdom was a nice character moment for them, and marked how far the two have come. While the rest of the Children of Earth are technically also Kings and Queens, they have mostly been vanity titles. Margo and Eliot meanwhile have taken responsibility for something bigger than themselves (for the first time really), and now are showing a selfless devotion to it, which is a pleasing arc for their characters. Anyway they are still Margo and Eliot so they defend Fillory the only ways they know how: with lies, threats and sex. God bless them.

While Josh, Quentin and Alice solve a Zelda puzzle in the Fillory throne room, Quentin finally confronts Alice on why she's suddenly so invested in their quest. Alice reveals she is working for the Library, who also has a vested interest in seeing magic restored. This makes sense because as we learned previously the Library's magic is being fueled by ground up fairy bones! A grim and non-renewable resource. However the Library is also shady af so Q is right to be suspish of Alice (who is shady in general). Anyway the key isn't there, and the quest is a bust.

Meanwhile in the real world, Julia is still on her mission to save the enslaved fairies, and Fen has just discovered emojis. Julia entreats the Fairy Queen to come with her and help free her kinfolk, but it’s Fen's passionate plea that finally sways the Queen into coming. We learn that fairies used to live freely on Earth until Magicians killed them all for their delicious bones. Typical. Julia's plan is to present the Fairy Queen as a slave (complete with Death Necklace), in order to get her to her people and free them. However this plan is complicated by the fact there is no way to remove the necklaces except via beheading. And since the Jaime Ray Newman family has received a large order for fairy bone (likely from The Library that just lost much of their supply), heads are gonna ROLL. Our heroines discover the fairies are held captive by a fairy deal brokered by Dust, who long ago made the ultimate sacrifice in order to allow the OG Fairy Queen (our FQ's mama) to escape Earth. Our current Queen decides to break this deal,  freeing her people, and brutally slaughtering the Newman's (except for Jaime Ray who escapes).

The Fairy Queen laments to Julia that now the fairy's deals will mean nothing since one was broken, but I was a bit confused by this as how is anyone going to know? Like yeah they broke one deal, but pretty much all the humans aware of that are dead, and unless Jaime Ray is writing a breaking news story for The Fillorian Times, I don't really see the ish. Queenie also tells Julia that the fairies have a Quest Key, but it's sort of being used to prop up the whole Fairy World so no one can have it. I feel like our crafty Magicians are going to find a way to get it though, probably by integrating fairies back onto Earth or Fillory-at-large. What's for sure is that this side quest has muddied the morality waters when it comes to the fairy species. Rather than being cut-and-dry baddies, they are victims of greedy humans and they just want to find a home of their own. I foresee a tentative truce with the reinstated rulers of Fillory in our future. Also many Margo scowls. 

Gah so much happened in this episode (as in all episodes) but there was one more important thing! Penny has been sulkily shelving away down in the Underworld library (I guess Kady has gone to look for him tho? She was conspicuously absent from these two eps) and attempting to find a way out. He does con a dead guy into giving him his Metro Card to the pig that takes you out of the Underworld and presumably to Heaven or Hell (what even IS The Magicians), but before he can use it he is pulled aside for a come to Jesus talk by Hades! Hades is the second Greek/Roman inspired god we have met this season (the first being Bacchus), and he is here to keep it real with Penny. He essentially tells Penny that if Penny stays in the Underworld, he will have a much more glorious destiny than if he returns to his sucky friends on the surface. Penny seems to take this advice to heart as he joins the local Library book club, and dessert-fancier group. As the season has gone on, and Julia's powers have ramped up, the mention of gods, the god-touched, and the appearance of gods themselves has been steadily increasing. I feel like in the quest for magic, Hades will not be the last mythological face we see.

OKAY NEXT EPISODE. IF YOU WERE SKIPPING 3x10 HERE BEGINNITH 3x11.

A lot of wild stuff went down in 3x10, but 3x11 was another helping of full on Magicians crazy-time. Once again Julia and Josh (of all people) are the central characters, which is refreshing seeing as how they haven't received a lot of lead story time ESPECIALLY not as a couple (Julia/Josh, pick your shipper name). This episode these two new best friends take a journey into the wild unknown, aka the 23rd Magicians timeline! In season one it was established that there are (at least) 40 timelines in the world of the show (due to a time loop created by...too boring, you remember). This is both insane and totally genius as it is a built in way for the show to bounce into a completely new world, with alternate storylines, whenever it wants. Characters can die, hook-up, become werewolves, anything is possible!  As is the case here when 23 Josh (aka Dick Josh) pulls regular Josh and Julia into their timeline. Here, 23's Beast is essentially immortal and powered by a KEY. The J's decide to pull their weight for once and go after the 7th key on their own, consequences be damned!

As we learned from Season 2 when 23 Alice was summoned into timeline 40, 23 is a pretty f'd up universe. Mostly all of our beloved character's have been brutally killed, and the Beast rules unchallenged. However there is one thing that 23 has that’s worth all of these tragedies and that is KACEY ROHL!!!! My beautiful hedge witch queen lives on in timeline 23! She is just as goth, brash, bitchy, and perfect as I remember. Sure she is missing her signature power pony, but I will survive. She has teamed up with Dick Josh (who has Lasik, a cool jacket, and also werewolf herpes) in a last ditch effort to take out the Beast. Julia and Josh also run into in-love-with-Julia Penny, and GHOST MARGO AND ELIOT. Although one of the strengths of the Magicians is the unexpected fun and character building that comes from different pairings (Josh/Julia, Julia/Fen, Quentin/Penny, etc) there is one couple that should and shall never be parted. Even in bloody horrible death this gruesome twosome shall not be struck from each other's side. I loved the ultimate horror of Eliot being responsible for Margo's hideous death, truly scary! Also half-a-face Margo is still absolutely sickening. Cocks indeed.

However the biggest twist in this world is that their Beast is no longer Martin Chatwin, but Quentin! And to be honest, a much, much hotter Quentin. No one else thirsty for soulless Beast!Q? Honestly seeing him cut down Alice mid-whine was...extremely satisfying. But how did this happen? Well in Season 2 after 23 Alice was brought briefly to talk with 40 Q, she became obsessed with seeing her Q again. She even sold her soul in order to bring him back to life, albeit shadeless. Yes shadeless Beast Quentin is a ruthless, violent, killer, but goshdarnit he's a pretty fun time. Julia cleverly defeats him by lending him her shade, and once Q is back in possession of the full gamut of his shame, guilt, anxiety, and depression, it is but a matter of moments before he kills himself. Cheery. Anyway Julia takes the key and uses it to return her and Josh to their own timeline. But on top of their return 23 Penny and Marina ALSO go through to timeline 40. Historically in fiction timeline mixing is almost always a terrible idea, but Kacey Rohl back in our lives is worth the risk. Also we are entering a sort of Midsummer Night's Dream world here where there are two Penny's, one who is alive and loves Julia, and one who is dead-ish and loves Kady. Cray!

Misc thoughts from the episode:

I am really not getting the Dean Fogg storyline, it kind of feels like they don't know what to do with this character anymore. He's not even a comic relief as his addiction storylines feel more sad than wry. If there is nothing else to be done with this character, I think time to let him loose.

Also what is the 'Quickening'? 23 Josh had become a dick and isolated himself because he was in fear of the 'Quickening' which would kill all those around him. I assumed he was referring to turning into a werewolf (via the herpes), but it seems like this is something that could happen to regular Josh too? I kept up with a LOT this episode, but this aspect escaped me. If you have a clearer understanding, holla at cha girl.

Only two more episodes and ONE more unattainable fairy key to go!

In Kacey Rohl we trust, MD

[felicityb-reviews]

Review Roundup - Week 1 January 2018

Hello babies!! Welcome to your debut Review Roundup for Week 1 of January 2018!!! I'm really excited to launch this series, because while I do love doing reviews, sometimes the only thing I can say about a song is "I like it, it was good". I also wanted a place I could spotlight releases from less popular acts (or even less conspicuous releases, sometimes) who don't exactly have 2309342 million fandom pages. This is a great way to combine that, I guess.

Before we begin, some ~rules~

For a song to eligible, it has to have an official video. Even if it's basically some shit an intern made in Final Cut Pro in five seconds, before uploading it. I just need to know that it's an ~official~ release.

No OSTs!! 90% of them are dry ass ballads, and I do not have the time, sis!! No OSTs!! /Edna Mode voice

And on that note, I might choose to skip a certain release, because I have nothing to say about it. Or nothing nice that isn't constructive criticism.

Yes, each video has a Rating™. Do not get hung up on said Rating, cause it's basically meaningless; it's just an arbitrary number based on how much I liked the particle song, mixed with how well I thought the song was written.

Just like with my Feature Spotlights, the blurbs here are just my opinion, sis. Please do not get hung up on what some gay bitch on the Internet has to say about your fave. I'm hella arrogant, but my words are not of God.

So now that we got that out of the way (Even though I'm 90% sure some bitch is gonna try my ass), our list begins with...

Grown Up (Soyou)

Grown Up is pretty standard fare for a Starship ballad. The company has always submerged themselves in RnB and Gospel sensibilities, and it shows here. Miss Soyou takes us to church with Grown Up. A very nice song which I appreciate, but will probably not listen to much, unless I'm in a Ballad Bitch™ mood.

Rating - 3.5/5

TRCNG - Wolf Baby

"Ooh bitch... You mighta just did something there"

That was my first reaction to Wolf Baby, fam. I was ready and willing to write the song off, because the teaser did not show it off in the best light (it sounded like a demo of Hyosung's Into You, according to a friend) and the visual was more of the boys showing off their dance skill. Which is never a bad thing... Except when it's literally the same shit we've seen 20 million times from similar boy bands. But Wolf Baby delivers in full. Unlike the God awful Spectrum which takes after B.A.P in the worst of ways, Wolf Baby sounds and feels more like a Secret song (which sounds a lot better than you think it would). Wolf Baby shows that these boys have personality that can translate to the music, and Lord knows we need more of that in K-pop boy bands. I'm so tired of being charmed by these boys in variety, but utterly bored by their music.

Rating - 4/5

Think about (Seo Ji An featuring KLANG)

Lissen... Whoever wrote this song needs to give me a refund. That intro had me thinking this was gonna a bombastic radio ballad. Like, they were about to hit me with that Ryan Tedder throwback shit. But instead, all I got was soft falsetto and a limp piano line.

Talk about a boner killer, sis.

But once I got over myself (and the song started to pick up), I realized that it was actually pretty nice. Nothing I'd put into heavy rotation, but this would be good shuffle bait.

(Sidenote - if anyone can find me anything on the female vocalist, KLANG, I will give you a hug and a cookie, because I really liked her voice)

Rating - 3/5

XOXO (Soyeon of LABOUM x Park Jae Jung)

We're getting a jump start on the Springtime love duets, I see. I can't say I'm entirely mad, tho. XOXO, like Seo Ji An's Think about, falls within a category of songs I like to call shuffle bait. They're not terrible songs, but they're also not ones I feel obligated to put on heavy rotation. They're good for those days when you don't know what you wanna listen to or need some soft background sounds, so you put your music on shuffle. Not a category one should aspire to be in, but not one to be mad at for falling into, either.

I'm very happy that Global H made this a duet, cause Soyeon's overly bright tone could have tired out the ears very easily if she had to sing this by herself. And not only that, but Park Jae Jung provides a nice foil to Soyeon's voice with his smooth tone. All in all, a very nice song.

Rating - 3.5/5

Honey Tea (OOHYO)

Miss OOHYO is givin us a little Bassa Nova in her Honey Tea, you guise!!

Honey Tea is another shuffle bait song that almost makes it in the Heavy Rotation camp with it's interesting choice of instrumental interludes; but alas, she doesn't quite make the cut. There's something about the production here that doesn't quite mesh right; the song elements don't meld into one another like they should, especially with such ~agreeable~ (for lack of a better word) elements as these. This song is really nice for what it is (the melancholic atmosphere nice for those days when you just wanna brood like an angsty teenager), but I needed just a little bit more.

Rating - 2.5/5

Like Paradise (Kriesha Chu)

Something tells me that Future Bass is going to be everywhere in Kpop this year like Tropical House was last year, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. On one hand, you have Svt's Don't Wanna Cry and LONG:D x Kim Doyeon's All Night that are masterfully made songs. But then you have BTS's Best of Me and Kriesha Chu's Like Paradise, both of which are so fucking beige it makes me wanna slam my face into a wall. And it's really sad because, unlike Best of Me, Like Paradise starts out with a great verse. But then the prechorus goes right into generic territory with a chorus that's so anybody, it's almost frightening.

Kriesha Chu exploded onto the scene with a familiar formula in Trouble, but she did enough to make it her bitch, so idk what happened here. A friend mentioned that she feels as though she's heard this melody fifteen times, and I wouldn't be surprised if she has. This song isn't bad, but it don't got no soul. Which is a shame, because Miss Kriesha Chu has plenty to go around.

Rating - 2/5

Blah (Planetarium Case #1)

Now this is a song that took me by surprise. I was not expecting that Tropical style beat to kick in when the verse started, but I mean... Y'all know how I am with anything and everything Tropical inspired. And then they had the nerve to combine that heaux with RnB style instrumation?!?!!

Bitch...

I wanna be mad at how much I like this song. I really do. I wanna care about how the vocalist's voice is a touch too bright and whiny for that kind of vocal processing (it's faint, but it's there). I wanna feel some type of way about how that kind of vocal processing isn't really suited to this type of song. I would like to have some kind of critique here, but everything just slots together in a way that I can ignore the little things I don't care for.

Sis, idk how these underground labels know me well enough to make such targeted attacks against me like this, but I'm not mad. In fact, I'm very okay with that if I get to walk away with songs like Blah. Can we get more of this, instead of Future Bass or whatever other kooky trends are gonna rule K-pop this year?!?!!

Rating - 4/5

Foresight Dream (Younha)

Hello, Miss Younha!! It's nice to see you giving us something other than classical ballads like some kind of Baek JiYoung knockoff.

...was that mean?!?!!? Okay yeah, that was mean. Oh whatever, it isn't like other people weren't thinking it.

Copious amounts of shade aside, I'm been very here for what Younha has been doing, musically, since Get It. She's swapped out the ballads for a more RnB/Pop sound that's very in line with what the K-RnB World has been doing lately, and I couldn't be happier. Foresight Dream is a dreamy piano driven song that's a bit too downtempo in groove to qualify as an Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempo, but still has enough drive to feel like it's actually going somewhere. And Younha's voice sounds amazing. She's got a voice very similar to Alice from HV's, but Younha has more depth to her tone. All in all, a very magical experience.

One critique I have (and it's not even of the music) is that I'd have liked if Younha had released Foresight Dream before the GroovyRoom produced Parade. With the way Parade followed the ph-1 assisted Hello, I had assumed that she was done releasing songs. But with Foresight Dream coming after those two, it kind feels like it dampens her momentum. Idk, I'm just being a picky bitch.

Rating - 4/5

wewantourmoneyback (Giriboy)

*sigh*

This nigga talmbout how he want his money back, but I want my fucking time back from listening to this hot mess.

Okay, let me roll back the shade for a second. This song really isn't that bad. I've heard F A R worse from the likes Jay Park, Zico, and Dok2. But dude, this is a touch too fucking generic for a winter release. You couldn't have saved this for summer?!?!? When niggas is actually trynna shake they ass to generic trap beats?!?!

To be honestly, I'm tired of hearing these kinds of songs in K-HipHop. Especially from dudes who have tones like Giriboy. Their voices are whiny as fuck all, and these kinds of beats usually have a lot of higher tones in the mix (for those who are too bougie to listen to trap, producers typically use high, tinny synths as the main instrument in trap beats), so it's just a headache in the making. It's already hard enough to make a trap song without it sounding too repetitive, but these fools have truly tired me out with this genre. I can't even think of something to say about this song, cause it's just so generic.

Rating - 1/5

Paint Me (Mamamoo)

I'm sorry... MamaWHOMST?!?!?!!

Jokes aside, I'm not quite sure how I feel about this song. Mamamoo is a group that I once loved, but all that went sour when they decided to do blackface in concert (and then post a BTS video of getting into costume for said stage a week after posting an apology). And if I'm being honest here, their only good songs are You're The Best and Piano Man. I stanned for their other tracks for the culture; I liked what they did with the songs live. I didn't really listen to them, but tis the life of a K-Pop stan.

In retrospect, it's quite interesting how Mamawhomst Mamamoo haven't promoted a big power ballad like Paint Me before. The instrumentation is basic as all fuck, but it allows emphasis to be put on their vocals. Which are half the reason Mamawhomst Mamamoo survived Nugudom, in the first place. But as great as their voices are in this song, it just doesn't go anywhere. It throws you from one extreme to the other, and then ends. It's hella polarizing, and not something I really wanna put myself through with repeated listens.

Rating - 2.5/5

A Day I Want To Love (HEYDAY featuring Lim Eun Young)

A Day I Want To Love is a very typical classical ballad, and while that usually has me running for the hills, I decided to give it a chance. And I mean, this isn't a song that I'd put into Heavy Rotation, but it'd fit in very nicely with all the songs I download to use as shuffle bait. I'd also quite like to hear this sung live. Idk, I just feel like it'd come off better that way.

Rating - 3/5

OGZ (Jo Woochan x Park Hyunjin x Achillo)

I don't understand this song.

That's not to say that it's bad. The beat reminds me of wewantourmoneyback, but GroovyRoom decided to make a more interesting remix of it. And the boys all hand in amazing verses. But idk, yo. This song just feels weird as all fuck.

Rating - 4/5

Missing You (VOISPER)

How fitting that this is the song that closes out the main list week. Missing You is another lowtempo shuffle bait track (the mood for this week, apparently), but this time around, we get some horns in the mix. Which I greatly appreciate, because without them, this song would have been extremely boring. VOISPER have nice voices, but their technique is kind of sloppy. And I don't usually sweat shit like that, but it's really noticeable here.

Rating - 3/5

The Fabulous Five

So... You've made it to the end of the post (thank you, btw), and are now wondering what in the actual fuck a Fabulous Five are. Well, it's simply a fancy title (because your bitch is hella dramatic) for my favorite songs of the week. In fact, if you payed any mind to the (badly made) gifs at the top of the post, you'd notice they're from the following videos. Anyway, there's no real metric for what goes here, just songs that I stan a lot.

5. Lower (f(Amber+Luna))

MY WIG!!

MY QUEENS!!

M Y W I G!!

Lower is God tier, sis. I've read a few people's reviews of the song, and the one thread of commonality between them all is that Lower is generic and not worthy of the f(x) brand. And while I'm not gonna sit here and act like Lower isn't something I'd expect to hear at a European gay club (or any gay club for that matter), I really like what Amber and Luna did with this song.

I also think that Lower should be considered a performance piece above all. I view EXO's Monster this way - I don't care for the song by itself, but I'm hype as fuck when there's an accompanying visual. Amber and Luna could have made this beat their bitch (Luna certainly has the vocal chops for it, and Amber could have done ha thing with a lil rappy rap), but the main focus of the song is the breakdown. And they dance for their fucking lives to said breakdown.

I can't tell you if I'd have liked this song so much from another duo in K-Pop or if I'd have liked it if it didn't come with a video, but the reality is that like it.

Me Likey Likey a lot!!

I'm really hoping that SM sees how well of a unit these two make, and decides to debut them, officially. Cause God only knows we aren't getting any new material from f(x) anytime soon. Victoria is too busy livin ha best life in China, and Krystal is too busy looking fed up for no reason with Jessica, whilst people throw money at BLANC & ECLARE.

Rating - 3/5

4. Hot Potato (N.FLYING)

Before I start in on my review of this song, I just wanna ask what the fuck is up with idol bands being filled with beautiful ass humans?!?! Like?!?!?! Anytime I watch anything with Day6, I can't help but wanna cry at how hot they are. And watching N.FLYING's Music Core comeback stages, I got the same feeling. I could barely pay attention to the songs. Am I really just that thirsty?!?!?

Nobody fucking answer that, I know I'm thirsty heaux. I don't need you shady bitches dragging me for it.

Existential crisis aside, Hot Potato is a banger. I'm really hoping 2018 is the year idol bands start thriving, because I need more songs like these in my life. The verses are pure octane fun, while the choruses are power pop crack. I dare one of you to tell me you wouldn't sing along to that chorus if you knew Korean. I fuckin D A R E you!! And whoever's idea it was to add Yoo Hweseung from Produce 101, I wanna kiss you silly. His chemistry with Lee Seunghyub is ridiculous!! And in addition to that, an added vocalist allows them added flexibility with with N.Flying's rap/sing vocal style. I'm just so happy with this song, especially with how little love I had for The Real. It's great, sis.

Rating - 5/5

3. Her (Drug Restaurant)

Raise your hand if you had no idea that Jung Joon Young's band changed their name to Drug Resturaunt!?!?!?

...

Oh that was just me, not paying attention to anything?!?! Okay...

The first time I heard Her, I was immediately mesmerized by that opening chord progression. Some part of my musically trained brain knows how overused that progression is, but the rest of me is too busy blissing out to it to care (to be fair, most chord progressions in popular music are overused, because there's only so many that actually sound good to our ears). Her is no one trick pony, tho; she may come back to the oddly dissonant and melancholic texture of the intro now and again, but she always makes sure to give you something new with it.

The rest of the song is pretty great, too. Jung Joon Young has a very smooth texture to his baritone, very similar to BTS's Kim Taehyung (and if y'all know anything about my gay ass, y'all know I'm a H E A U X for baritones), and it's a great contrast to the grit of the instrumental.

Her is a very nice intro (err... reintrduction) to a great band. I keep telling myself I'll get back into rock like I was in middle school (the only good thing about being a weeb is J-rock and VISUAL KEI, I will fight you if you say otherwise), and it looks like God decided to help a girl out.

Rating - 4.5/5

2. Twenty Something (Alice featuring Yooyoung of HELLOVENUS)

Hello?!?!? Fantagio?!?!?! Starship Entertainment called; they want their Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempo back.

Yes, I realize I'm not that funny, but it's not gonna stop me from cracking jokes

So... If you don't know what an Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempo is, it's basically the RnB version of an acoustic midtempo ballad (hence the acoustic coffee shop bit). They're usually not acoustic at all, but they still have the same feeling as an acoustic ballad, if that makes sense.

And can I make a bold statement here?!?!!? Fantagio just declared a turf war against Starship with this song. Yes babies, it's that fucking good. Starship is usually my go to for Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempos, but it looks like Fantagio wants to throw their hat in the ring for consideration.

Alice has the right amount of grit to her voice to really hook you in, but a decent amount of brightness to help uplift the track. And Yooyoung's rap is just... Oh my God, it's so good!! I wanted it to be longer, sis. A++ content!!! She provides a nice texture change that makes Alice's voice pop when she takes over the track again. And the instrumentation just makes my brain happy tingle. God, I'm just so in love with this song!!

My only complaint is about that flat ass, limp ass, needs to be put out of it's misery ass high shriek Alice does over the final chorus. Guys, I am so tired of my ears being accosted by these singers trying to belt. Most of K-Pop's vocalists are sopranos with bright ass tones and absolutely no power behind their voices. This obsession with high belted notes at the end of songs is just so weird, and if y'all are gonna continue to do it, I need y'all to integrate that shit into the song better. Don't just have a vocalist do their best "OH MY GOD, THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL ME" shriek. It's so irritating!!

And apparently, this is the first of a monthly song single campaign Fantagio is doing for 2018?!?!!? Someone at that company wants me to die, sis. First, they inflict Ong Seungwoo and Park Jinwoo on my ass, and now this.

Rating - 4.5/5

1. Bboom Boom (MOMOLAND)

First of all, can we give S. Tiger a round of applause for throwing it back to EXID's Nyam Nyam Jeop Jeop?!?!?!? That is a top five favorite b side of mines, so the second I heard the guitar in the teaser, I fucking Knew™ my edges were about to get snatched right off my face.

Secondly, Queen JooE is outchea livin ha best life, and I'm just so here for it. People love to talk shit about girl groups cause they only do cutesy and sexy concepts (nevermind the fact that boy bands do the same shit, but I guess y'all not trynna hear that), but anytime girl groups give you something different, y'all not trynna stan. So, I'm so fucking here for JooE serving you basics Unapologetic Joy™ in the New Year.

Hallelujah, Thank You Jesus!!

For those of you who can't tell (although it's position in the Fab Five should've tipped you off), I fucking love Bboom Bboom. I was ready for Bboom Bboom the second the teasers started rolling in, and my excitement hit an all time peak with the Great! highlight medley showing that the entire mini was Banger Central™. My only complaint about the song is that the transition from the trap beat to the regular beat in the second verse was so throwed together and clunky. Did y'all run out of time to really integrate that right, cause?!?!?!?! I love that section, but that it could have been handled way better.

Still my favorite song of the week.

Rating - 4.5/5

And that's that, folks!! Tune in next week at 6pm EST to see my round up of this week's new releases. And don't forget about Friday's Feature Splotlight at 6pm EST!! There's been a little (Okay, it's a pretty big ) change to the schedule. Wanna know what it is?!?!?! Be sure to check it out!!!

[solarbird]

And just like that, she was down, Chapter 6: the blind eye

[AO3 link]

[Incheon, Republic of Korea]

"Cor blimey," Lena said. "I wish she'd picked a more touristy part of town. We're too bloody conspicuous down here."

"You think you're conspicuous," her wife replied, "try being tall. At least I can check the layout."

The two of them - in carefully-chosen "hello, I am a confused European tourist" civilian clothes, with only Lena's bulky, accelerator-concealing jacket standing out in the July heat - made their way towards the front of a small restaurant in a busy commercial district not far from the industrial port.

Emily moved forward first, and looked sideways through the glass front window, spotting a small woman in very familiar colours and facepaint out of the corner of her eye, sitting in a booth near the back, facing away from the street. "I see her. She's... in her kit? Weird. But she's alone."

As Lena caught up to her, she heard a familiar voice quietly pipe up from behind. "N00bs," said the MEKA pilot, behind her, in perfectly ordinary business clothes. "That's my decoy. You gotta get good or you're in trouble. C'mon. This way. Right now, or it's off."

"Hana?" said the teleporter. "No. What's going on?"

"Come on," she repeated. "We're just going up the street. Things have changed. Follow me, or leave town, it's up to you."

Emily looked to Lena, uncertain, and her wife gave her a small shrug. "Like working for bloody MI6..." she whispered, following the woman they hoped was still their friend.

They followed her three blocks mostly east and two more blocks mostly north, settling into a booth in a nearly-identical business-worker restaurant, with nearly-identical booths. This one had a karaoke section, in back, but neither woman felt much like singing.

"What was that about, then?" asked Emily, as she and Lena slid into their side of the booth. Hana ordered a big pot of barley tea and naeng myun for everyone, and the waitress scooted off.

"Okay," said Hana, looking carefully at both of them. "We've got half an hour before the old school show up at the other restaurant. They don't want to grab you, but they want you to hand over the spider if you still have her. Do that, all's forgiven, you can come home."

"...you told them?" Lena said in a hiss, leaning forward.

"Bloody hell," breathed Emily. "It was a trap."

"You're here, not there, aren't you? And it's not a trap, they just wanna make an offer. I'm on your side, I want you to know what's coming."

"An 'offer,'" said Emily, "while unarmed, surrounded, and outnumbered. That's not how you have friends over for chat." She covered her face with her hands, looking down. "They're making all the same bloody mistakes they made last time, aren't they? Of course they are. What next, bringing back Blackwatch?"

"Well, then," said Lena, as the tea arrived. "An offer. What's the sweetener supposed to be?"

"They'll hand la blue girl over to MI6, DGSE, or CIA as-is. Nooooooo hacks required."

Lena glared at the gamer. "That a joke, luv? MI6 and the French will shoot her on sight. CIA... probably the same. Why not the Hague? Why not the ICC?"

"We tried. The Hague and the ICC won't even touch her. You picked a really unpopular spider to save."

"...yeh," conceded the teleporter, sipping at the unfamiliar tea. "I can see that."

"And the stick?" asked Emily, dreading the answer.

"No stick."

"No stick?"

"No stick. I don't like what they're doing, I really don't like what Ziegler was doing... none of the younger crowd do, we won't stand for it. We've put our... foots? down? Feets down? Whatever."

"Right," said Lena. "Thanks, for that. You've worked out some kind of entente, then - that include what Ziegler's doing?"

"We're still working on it. It's a fight and I don't know who's winning, but everybody will be in the game."

Tracer shuddered. "Well... I hope you win."

The gamer sipped at her tea. "So if you won't hand spiderbitch over..."

"Not happening."

"Then the fallback is, we can still be friends, but there's rules."

"Go on," said the teleporter, as the waitress returned with their bowls of noodles.

"Noooooooo working for her old bosses. None. You work with them, at all, you're all with them. We shoot on sight."

Emily snorted a laugh, but Lena frowned, angry. "I'm... gobsmacked. I can't believe they'd... after all we've done, they think we'd do that? The whole point of this was getting her away from..."

"C'mon! You and your wife ripped the walls off medbay to free Talon's deadliest assassin. They don't think they can make assumptions anymore."

"Bloody wonderful," Tracer snapped, not wanting to admit they kind of had a point. "They know why we..." She stopped, and shook her head - rearguing wouldn't change anything. "Fine. What else?"

"You're not Overwatch. No Overwatch logos, no Overwatch gear, don't raid Overwatch supply points, don't use Overwatch safehouses."

"Whatevs," Lena shrugged, dismissively.

"Not so whatevs," Emily said, overriding her wife. "Most of it, fair enough. But Overwatch is using my antigrav tech, free of charge. We can let that go on - if we can use empty safehouses when we need to."

"I can ask."

"It's one or the other. I don't want to get shot at by Overwatch agents in an Overwatch safehouse. If that's on the menu, I'm not eating."

"I can ask."

"Fine," interjected Tracer. "What else?"

"No team-ups with the spider when we're around. You're both out of Overwatch, but nbd, rite? Officially, you dropped out, nobody has to say why, you're fine, we're fine. We'll team up with you, we might even hire you - but not with her. Work with her where we can see it, that makes you accomplices to a world-number-one terrorist, bang. We treat you like her."

Tracer grimaced. "Oh, that's funny coming from Morrison - sorry, 'Soldier: 76.' How's that supposed to be any different? He's a wanted criminal himself, and labelled a terrorist."

"That's not fair," Song replied. "She actually is one."

"Was," interjected Kestrel.

"Is," insisted the gamer, "'til we know better."

"This is... PETRAS hasn't been repealed. Overwatch is just as illegal as everything else."

"Yeah," acknowledged the gamer, "but we get a pass. To a point. You don't. It's not fair, but that's the game."

"Unlike Overwatch, I am a security contractor, operating legally on six continents..."

"Not if they know you've got the spider," Hana said in a little sing-song.

Lena sighed, frustrated. And that, she thought, is the stick. "Fine," she said, tiredly. "What else?"

"That's it."

"You lot gonna be spyin' on us? Lookin' for a chance?"

"Nope. Blind eye. If we don't have to know, we won't know."

Lena nodded, and poked at the noodles. They didn't taste like much, but she couldn't tell whether that was the food, or the reality of the situation setting in. Even an amicable divorce was still a divorce, with all that implied - and this wasn't even all that amicable.

"There really wasn't a trap, was there?" Emily said, suddenly. "Or... was there? Is this the trap?" Kestrel looked around the restaurant. "Where's Ziegler?"

Tracer looked up at her wife. "Sweet?"

"Listen," said the flying agent.

Lena listened, and heard a soft, familiar ringing hum. "...oh. Fuck. I hear it too."

"What?" asked the gamer, already knowing the jig was up.

"Dammit, Hana - stop!"

Song put down her chopsticks. "I had to make sure you weren't under anybody's control!"

"When the bloody hell did we go missing for months?!" Kestrel demanded.

"You didn't, but I didn't know! Not for sure! I told Lena in chat - I had to know! For sure!"

"We gonna get darts in the neck now?" Tracer's gaze darted around, looking for Ana Amari, not finding her.

"What's in this tea?" asked the ginger, glaring at her cup.

"Nothing! It's just barley tea! It's good! And no! It's... I brought Mercy in. She brought a big scanner. That's it."

"You trust Dr. Ziegler to tell you the truth here?"

"I... I think she's wrong. But she's not a liar and I couldn't get anyone else qualified. Not who'd keep a secret."

"Hana's telling the truth," said Angela, closing a padded door behind her, and walking up to their booth. "I was going to appear at the other restaurant, if you chose to negotiate, but - this saves the walk. Here I am."

"Doctor," said Emily, stiffly. "Who else is with us today?"

Hana scooted over, making room, and the medic sat next to the young MEKA pilot, ignoring the question. "Hana brought me in on this meeting yesterday. So that you know, I came here early to scan you for the sorts of things I... missed... with Amélie. I did not find them."

"Why the double-bluff?" asked Lena. "Why move us down here?"

"Karaoke booths," said the doctor.

"...soundproofing," Kestrel realised.

"Apparently, inadequate."

"I have very good hearing," said the hawk.

"Amari and Morrison?" asked the teleporter.

"Ana and Jack are in Prague, at the moment, responding to rumours of a Talon action. They send their regards."

Emily let out a little heh at that. "No 'thanks' for removing Talon's best sniper from their arsenal?"

"Is she removed?"

"Yes."

"But alive."

"'Course." She did not say, "luv."

"I will relay both of those."

Lena Oxton gave the doctor a sharply pointed look. "What if you'd decided we had been... compromised?"

"Plug suit fits under regular clothes juuuuuuust fine." Hana pulled at her collar. "Hot, tho'."

The doctor smiled. "And you'll note - I haven't said anything about Fareeha's location."

"That's not what I meant, mate," said the teleporter, grimly.

The doctor raised an eyebrow. "It would... depend."

"Would it, now?" asked Emily.

"Can you honestly say you would not want me to undo the effects of Talon brainwashing upon you? Truly? "

"Not if it meant just applying another round of brainwashing," Lena snapped. "It's one thing to get somebody detoxed, sure, that's fine. Therapy, that's great - I know from PTSD. But throwing your own stamp on their brain - that's not 'undoing' a bloody thing, that's just changing the hands on the leash."

The doctor rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Lena, Emily, please, all of this has been ... far too much cloak and dagger. I apologise for that, but we did have to know. Can we stop this? Please? I am here to negotiate with you, not fight you."

"Sure, doc," said the flying agent. "Stop trying to turn people into other people, stop delivering ultimatums, stop repeating Overwatch's old mistakes, and we can all be besties again. Just tell me one thing."

"What?"

"Why'd you lie to us about your 'sedatives?'"

"I most certainly didn't!"

"'Sedative' doesn't imply 'made suggestible.' You'd already started your work, and you hid that from us."

"Oh," said the doctor, surprised, "you figured that out? I am... honestly, I am impressed. But I did not lie," she said emphatically. "I had not started my work."

"Then why that drug?" demanded the flying agent.

"Because you are both fools and I was giving you the best chance I could!" The field medic stood in the booth, hands on the tabletop, jarring the dishes. "Do you know how many of her bullets I have pulled out of our people? How many I have declared dead by her hand? I did not want you cut down, these... mistakes... or not, and if you did something truly reckless, I wanted to make sure you had a chance of surviving the night." She looked back and forth between the two former Overwatch agents. "She is not a person, she is a mechanism. A complex one, but a mechanism nonetheless. Give the correct set of orders, she kills, and you are on her kill list. But..." she said, slower, more thoughtfully, gesturing with her left hand, "I thought if she could be impressed upon you..."

"Dammit, doc," Lena interrupted, quietly, "You were wrong."

"I am not wrong, I..."

"She'd broken it herself. That's why she's never really tried to kill me, or Em. That's why Talon tried to kill her," Lena interrupted, again, rubbing her face with her hands. "That's how we know you're wrong."

The doctor blinked. "...what?"

"She wasn't supposed to get captured in Egypt," said Kestrel, picking up where Tracer left off, "she was supposed to die there. She was subverting her own reconditioning, and they'd figured it out."

"That is impossible. I have recreated some of what they did, in simulators, to learn how to undo it. It cannot just be..."

"Oh for the love of... it was. She'd done it, and Talon's termination order proves it. We were right. I was right. You were wrong," said Emily. "None of this would've had to happen if you'd just listened to me." She waved her hands around in the air by her head, wanting something to throw. "When you captured her, she was set to defect in a week. To us. In Prague, in fact. Today."

"Then the suggestibility ... did it...?"

"Make everything much harder? Yes. Thanks for that. Naught for two on those calls, Angie. Try not to go naught for three?"

Angela Ziegler sat back down, slowly. She looked at the tabletop, and at the teapot, and the noodles, and poured herself a little bit of the barley, sipping at it tentatively, in silence, for several moments. She bit her lip, put the small cup back down, and, eventually, said, "If it means anything to you... my 'three' is that neither of you show any sign of foreign neurochemical or neuromechanical influence on your brains. And I will report that back to Overwatch."

"Kinda figured that," replied Emily, slowly, "from the lack of shooting. That's one for three, then. Well done there."

"Hana," asked Lena, "how much of the rest was a lie?"

"None of it! 76 is pretty mad, Ana is real mad, we're all kinda fruck out, but some of us are more sympathetic than others. Particularly Lúcio. Particularly me."

"So," Tracer said, sadly, "a velvet divorce. That's the real offer, then?"

"The rest of us want to stay friends, but from a team standpoint... pretty much."

"Balls," said Emily.

"What?"

"Balls! I'll take the deal, but it's shite, Hana, and you have the sense to know that. Angie, I don't think you do, you were this close to wiping away a person to replace her with your version of somebody else and it's pretty clear you haven't even budged on the ethics of that..."

"'Widowmaker' was dead, either way," Zigler interjected, angrily. "She almost certainly still will be soon, you might well join her, and you have just as certainly taken my only chance of returning Amélie to her own mind. If you want to argue ethics, soldier, I am more than ready to defend my position."

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, then a longer one, and then, "I can't believe Winston is going along with this..." said Lena, shaking her head.

"He's... still of the opinion that Widowmaker should be convinced to go along with it," Angela disclaimed, acknowledging the difference.

"Good. It's not... it's not good enough. It's just not." said Lena. "But... good. And... we'll take your terms - it's not much different than we'd do anyway."

"I do not imagine the safehouse usage will be difficult to sell to the rest of the team. Particularly," said the doctor, sipping at her tea, "if you continue to forward useful information."

"Did you raid those caches?"

"No. But we will, now."

"Probably too late, we'd hoped you'd cover our tracks, but - thanks anyway, I guess. Hana, will you tell Winston - please, please, please, just talk to me? "

"I will." She leaned forward, regret plain in her face. "I'm sorry. I had to know."

"Thanks, luv. I ... yeh. I guess I can see why." She took a deep breath, and let it out. "But if we're all done now," she said, standing, Emily just a moment behind, "we're going. Don't follow."

"We won't." Dr. Ziegler reached into her bag, and pulled out her commset. "Pharah, Mercy - Kestrel and Tracer are about to leave. We have an agreement. When they're out of range, come inside and... join us, for lunch. It's quite good. I'll give you the details in here."

As the two women walked by the table, Hana stood, saying, "Lena, please - talk to me on my chat again. Please! Okay? Please!" Then she watched as the two women left the restaurant without answering, her stomach now uninterested in the previously-delicious noodles.

«We did this wrong», she thought, sitting back down in the booth. «This wasn't how this should've gone.» She stole a glance as Fareeha walked up to Angela, helmet off, exchanging a brief kiss, and frowned. «Now I just gotta figure out how to fix it.»

-----

Widowmaker watched Tracer and Kestrel depart the restaurant, and, seeing Pharah take no offensive action, lowered her rifle away from the kill shot. She moved to discreetly track her partners along street level, to their rented vehicle.

Her comm unit clicked on. "Widowmaker, Tracer here. We're out, and en route to rendezvous."

"Tracer, Widowmaker, acknowledged. I sighted Pharah, tracking you across the venue change. I told you we should've kept in full contact."

"You didn't engage, did you?"

"Of course not. But I was ready, if needed."

"Widowmaker, Kestrel here. Thanks, love. Glad you weren't needed out there. You heard everything?"

The sniper felt a little cold, thinking of the doctor's words. "I did. I... regret it did not go better."

"No one is happy, so it's probably as fair as we were gonna get. See you back at the ship."

"Acknowledged. Widowmaker out." She hummed, thoughtfully, as she engaged her chain, heading towards the meeting point. It probably will not last, she thought, but it is good enough, for now. If I can just convince our... friends... to join us, then we will have a real chance. She smiled, for herself, and there was much more than just a breath of truth in it. I will save us, she swore. I will save us all.

[This concludes the first movement]

[imaginetonyandbucky]

I want Alpha!Bucky who is recovering, but slowly shaking off the submissiveness Hydra beat into him. Omega!Tony is absolutely smitten with him. Tony flirts outrageously, calls him "Bucky bear", and touches him casually. Bucky starts reverting to his pre-WWII dominant behaviors and Tony just can't get enough. Bonus if Bucky's Winter Soldier tendencies leave Tony unafraid and seriously turned on.

+

hey yall! could someone please write an abo au where alphabucky has to order sick omega tony to stay home from a battle. and its not likehes some traditionalist alpha that orders tony around all the time or anything.he hates that and tony is the last omega that would stand for that kindatreatment. but its for his own good this time and tho tonys a little hurt by ithe knows too. then turns out to be a diversion from the tower being attacked.happy ending tho cause tonys bamf even when sick.

---

"Tony. Stand down."

Every nerve in Tony's body lit up with the desire to snapsomething cold over his shoulder and keep walking towards the elevator. It hadbeen years since he'd responded to the sound of an alpha using that voice. Hewas pretty sure the last time had been from Obadiah Stane, and didn't that justmake the hackles rise on the back of Tony's neck. Natasha was in between Tonyand the elevator, though, so he spun on his heel, shoulders hunching.

The look on Bucky's face stopped him cold. Bucky was staringat him uncertainly, eyes afraid, like he thought that Tony might tear him toshreds. That effectively dumped a bucket of cold water on Tony's anger. It hadtaken months for Bucky to be comfortable with using that voice with anyone,never mind Tony. And really, Tony figured he had no one to blame but himselffor Bucky feeling comfortable enough to use it now.

"It's for your own good," Bucky continued, stillfirm. "You're sick. What happens if you faint while you're piloting thearmor? And don't tell me that JARVIS would take over. That's not an acceptableanswer."

Tony scowled. "I'm not that sick," he said, but hecould feel himself wavering. There wasn't much he wouldn't do for Bucky, andthe whole team knew it. Tony had been smitten from day one and with every daythat passed, it only got worse. Bucky was probably the only who didn't know it.

"Please?" Bucky asked. His voice softened, the alphatone evaporating into something silky that felt like a physical caress onTony's skin, and that was purely unfair in Tony's expert opinion.

"... Fine," Tony agreed, crossing his arms. Heglared at the rest of the team, just daring anyone to say a word. No one methis gaze. Steve started to, but Sam elbowed him hard enough to make Steve lookaway. Good. If Steve had opened his mouth and said something stupid, Tony'spride would've insisted on him joining them no matter what Bucky said.

"Thank you," Bucky said warmly, smiling at him.

"Anything for you, Bucky-Bear," Tony said with asigh, setting a hand on Bucky's arm when Bucky went to walk fast. He droppedhis voice. "Stay safe, okay? Come home."

Bucky put his hand over Tony's, squeezed once, and then wasgone. Tony glanced over his shoulder, watching as the rest of the team filedinto the elevator. Without him. It was profoundly strange to suddenly have thetower empty and know that everyone else was responding to a call while Tony wassupposed to sit here and wait for them to come back. It didn't sit right.

"I'm not that sick," he muttered again, wanderinginto the communal living room. The screen was still frozen on an image ofPrincess Peach and her motorcycle falling to her death on Rainbow Road. Nomatter what Clint said, Sam kicked his ass on Mario Kart every damn time. Outof pure spite, Tony bent down and switched the console off without saving theirprogress.

The room spun when he straightened back up. Dizzy, he stuck ahand a hand out and balanced himself against the wall. Okay, that was notpleasant. Maybe his temperature was a little higher than he'd been willing toadmit. It was probably time for another dose of Tylenol. He turned, slow andcareful, and made his way into the kitchen.

The one good thing about everyone being gone was that Brucecouldn't order him away from the coffee.

Tony settled down on the couch with a mug of coffee in handand ordered JARVIS to patch him through to the team's comm. He listened insilence for about half an hour as Clint and Bucky snarked at each other,interspersed with Sam and Natasha flirting, Thor's boisterous yells, the Hulk'sroars, and Steve's pleas for everyone to keep the line free of idle chatter.One of these days, Steve was going to have to give up on that dream.

All was going well until Tony heard the explosion. At first,he thought it had come through the comm links and wondered who had let Natashaplay with dynamite again. Then the second explosion happened and the couchshook hard enough to dump his thankfully cold coffee into his lap. The commline filled with voices yelling Tony's name.

"Sir," JARVIS said, cutting the audio from the comm."It appears that the tower is under attack. Floors 100 through to 95 havebeen compromised."

"Shit," Tony said under his breath, rolling to hisfeet. The world spun for a good twenty seconds before settling, but by then hewas already at the elevator. He slapped at the button.

"I'm afraid that the elevator is out of commission, Sir.I can't allow the doors to be opened."

Meaning, whatever was in the tower was now in the elevatorshaft, probably trying to locate Tony. Swearing under his breath, Tony changedcourse and ran for the stairs. But not the emergency stairs - oh no, everyoneknew that buildings had those. He was heading for his own personal set ofevacuation tunnels, which ran through every level of the tower all the way tothe basement. Even Clint didn't know they existed.

Behind him, there was a third explosion. Then the morefamiliar sound of shots being fired. Bullets peppered the floor and wallsbehind him as Tony turned a sharp corner, slamming the palm of his hand flatagainst the wall in just the right spot. The wall seamlessly split apart,revealing a small corridor just wide enough for Tony to slip into. Then itclosed behind him, leaving him in darkness except for the arc reactor.

"Can you tell me anything, J?" he asked, bare feetslapping the ground as he ran.

"There appears to be interference with my system. I amattempting to -" JARVIS's voice stopped. It was possible Tony's heartstopped right along with it. Then, just as suddenly, JARVIS resumed with,"I am attempting to rewrite the firewall to block the attack, but I amhaving trouble locating the issue."

Hackers. Had to be. Tony ground his teeth together, taking thestairs as quickly as he dared. Above him, he heard footsteps.

"J, enact defense protocols," he commanded.

The sharp crackle of electricity was barely audible over thesound of the screams that echoed above and behind him. Tony smirked to himselfand ducked underneath a wall. It hit the ground behind him, sealing offimmediately. He knew that meant JARVIS was dispensing sleeping gas for to knockout anyone who was still conscious after the electrical attack.

He came up to another wall and opened it slowly. The coast wasclear. Tony crept out into the hallway. His workshop was about fifty feet away;he could see the reinforced glass doors, which were shut. A handful of agentsdressed in familiar gear were prying at the doors, trying to get them open.

Hydra. Of course.

This was a problem, but Tony had an excellent solution.

"Hey idiots!" Tony called.

All heads swung around to face him. Guns went up. The doors slidopen behind them. The Iron Man suit that had appeared in the doorway while theagents weren't paying attention lifted its hands. Tony experienced a cruelpleasure out of seeing every single one of those Hydra agents getting blastedin the ass. When all of them were down and out, the suit flew to Tony andstarted to reassemble around them.

"And Bucky said I was too sick for this," Tonymurmured, an unholy smile crossing his face as the faceplate snapped down."Come on, baby. Let's teach them why the tower's off limits."

Roughly thirty minutes, a low growl echoed through the room.Tony glanced up just in time to see Bucky - no, the Winter Soldier stalk intothe room. Steve and Natasha were right behind him. All three of them were armedand ready to kick ass. Too bad there was no ass left to kick.

"Hey guys, you made it!" Tony chirped. "I wassharing a glass of champagne with Agent."

“No we weren't," Coulson said blandly, spoilsportthat he was. "You were filling out mission reports, and I was supervisingthe removal of Hydra agents from your living room."

"Did you steal my champagne?"Tony asked, looking around. He could've sworn that his glass had been sittingright next to the stack of papers that Coulson had shoved under his nose. Itwas now conspicuously missing and Coulson was wearing an innocent look.

"What happened? You were under attack. Are youokay?" Steve said, rapid-fire, looking like he wanted nothing more than tostrip Tony naked and examine him in close detail for wounds. Which wasn'tnearly as fun as it sounded, actually.

"I'm fine. J and I took care of them. SHIELD helped withthe rest," Tony said with a wave of his hand. "All good."

"Phil?" Natasha asked.

"Why does no one take my word for it?" Tonycomplained to no one, because Coulson, Natasha and Steve clearly weren'tlistening. And at some point during the conversation, the Winter Soldier hadslipped out of the room. A quick consultation with JARVIS - who had located andpatched the hack - revealed that the Soldier was now doing a perimeter check.

Tony wasn't going to lie. It was pretty hot watching theSoldier strut around, checking every inch of the upper floors, which wassurprising because that was the kind of behavior that would've normally pissedhim off. He was not the kind of omega that needed to be coddled. Hell, he'dtaken down over two dozen Hydra goons in less than fifteen minutes all byhimself. He was stronger than most alphas could hope to be.

There was something about Bucky, though. Something that keptTony at ease instead of raising his hackles. Maybe it was how hard Bucky hadworked to throw off Hydra's submissive conditioning. Or maybe it was how Buckyhad never uttered a word against omegas. Or maybe it was the way that Buckylooked at him sometimes, like he thought Tony was the greatest thing ever.Yeah, it was probably that last one.

He was just finishing the (stupid, ridiculous) mission reportwhen Bucky came prowling back into the room. He was more settled now, thoughfar from relaxed. Tony leaned back to look up at him and swayed, the sarcasticcomment on the tip of his tongue disappearing. Bucky grabbed his shoulder,steadying him.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I keep telling you I'm fine," Tony said, eventhough he was seeing two Bucky's now. And, huh, they were both smiling at himin a way that made Tony's stomach flip.

"You look like you're about to pass out."

"That's just your imagination. I'm good." Tony stoodup to prove it. Unfortunately, his knees buckled. Bucky caught him around thewaist, chuckling.

"I never thought you'd swoon into my arms."

"Shut up. I just kicked ass after you told me I was toosick for the damn mission. I would've had less exertion if I'd been with youguys."

Bucky's smile vanished. "I know."

"Aw, hey. Don't do that. Don't get all frown-y on me.It's not your fault."

"I should've been here."

"The alarm went off. You're an Avenger. You did what youwere supposed to do," Tony said. He hadn't moved away from Bucky yet.Actually, Bucky was still supporting most of his weight. It turned out thatBucky's arms were surprisingly comfortable.

"I'm supposed to -" Bucky started, then stopped.

Tony watched him intently. "Supposed to what?"

"Supposed to protect you," Bucky said, very quietly."Protect... my omega?"

Oh. Those last two words kicked Tony right in the heart. Heswallowed. "Your omega?"

"If you wanna be," Bucky said. "The offer'sopen."

"I'm a shitty omega," Tony said, because he couldn'tkeep his mouth shut. "And I don't need protection."

"You're perfect," Bucky corrected him.

It didn't escape Tony's notice that Bucky had ignored thesecond part of his sentence, and that was a very convenient way for Tony toignore what Bucky had just said (because there were so many things wrong withsomeone thinking that Tony Stark was perfect). He eyed Bucky. "I don'tneed protection. You did hear me say that."

"You don't need it, but I'm an alpha. It's what wedo."

Tony sighed as though his heart wasn't racing. As though thethought of someone wanting to protect him didn't make himfeel giddy. "So long as we understand I don't need it. I can take care ofmyself."

"Does that mean you'd be opposed to going to bed withme?" Bucky asked.

It only took a second for Tony to put two and two together."I thought you searched the tower from top to bottom."

"I did."

But just because you knew something didn't mean you alwaysbelieved it. Bucky wasn't the only one who would sleep easier tonight if theyshared a bed. Hydra had come after the Winter Soldier a few too many times forTony's comfort, and he did not relish waking up from nightmares where Bucky waskidnapped by agents that had hidden themselves in the tower. He reached up andwrapped an arm around Bucky's neck.

"On one condition."

"Which would be?"

"If you ever use your alpha voice to bench me from amission again - and I mean ever, even if I'm so sick I canbarely walk - I'm going to put a repulsor blast in your gorgeous ass."

Bucky smiled and easily hefted Tony into his arms, ignoringTony's squawk. "Deal."

~SailorChibi