#thing happened and yet I cried that shows how bad that is
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pastorfutureletthembe · 9 hours ago
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I love YINGDU as it is
I don't think I'll read these interviews everyone is talking about :/ I thought hard about it, I've read the general points of it, but I don't think reading them will make me enjoy YINGDU more. Quite the opposite actually.
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Me: thank you but no thank you. Later maybe. Love you, still.
I don't understand why they had to get interviewed to clear things up. By why, I mean, this situation is fucked up and I don't get how things got like this in this industry.
First. Can't the fans just wait and see? We're grownups, stop treating us like children who cried to get a lollipop. We'll still be here next year. Trust your fanbase.
Second... in what kind of world were the animators under pressure to the point they created plot holes and new timelines by accident? I'm extrapolating but, for real, how fucked up is it that they decided to rush a show that popular for the sake of airing it early? I'm sorry, was the money we spend on merch every few weeks not enough? I'm just mad at the production, honestly. Because they made a big mistake.
They're rushing in like bulls in a china shop. The character PVs were a mistake as well. They should have been released after YINGDU, to manage our expectations on characters that were yet to be introduced. I used to think it was an actual teaser, a window on how Lu Guang saw them or what they will become because of Lu Guang's meddling with the timeline. Now, I'm starting to think they needed strong marketing to get people's attention.
The whole thing makes my viewer experience less than optimal. So I'll keep writing meta but I won't take these interviews into account. 🧩Meta is for fun🧩, mere interpretation, only fanon, and that's okay. Meta is gamble. Meta is character study and theories on plot twists.
✨And that's okay✨
We're not suppose to write season 3 in advance. So it makes sense to me to keep having fun on what the show and the official content bring us. But as far as I'm concerned, the interviews didn't happen. It's not denial, just-
When I was studying cinema in university, my teacher once told me a very harsh truth: if you have to explain the sequence you filmed, then you didn't film it right. Sadly, in this context, production limitations were at fault but the lasting impression is the same.
Do you realize how insane it is that a creative team has to spell their work out to their fans? How humiliating it must be? There's revealing easter egg, teasing next season, spilling spoilers on accident, and then there is whatever that was. I feel for the creators and animators who worked themselves to exhaustion to bring something as beautiful as YINGDU to life. Because this season? It isn't perfect and it's inconsistent and different but no one can call it ugly. I would lick my screen because the image does look tasty lmao. My heart bleeds for all the people involved in this season.
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Meta is trying to understand and noticing easter eggs, honouring the writers and animators' work X
Of course, that's only my stand on the topic. I might take different directions in my interpretation than others, that's all. Aaaaaand? Yes. That's okay 🥰
As an artist myself, I feel like the situation is kind of disappointing for the people who worked on YINGDU. That's why I'll take the canon as it is. I don't want to mourn what could be or should have been. I want to enjoy what is.
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Meta is diving in the depth of symbolism X
As a fan, I get that we're happy with every nugget of information on what's coming next. The lore in Link Click is still blurry and while I honestly want to believe it is an artistic choice and will stay under control, I can't help but fear it's the result of bad writing. But. What if it is? Meh, I'm still here, enjoying myself. Because I love this show as it is, I see the flaws and the beauty in it. I'll be there.
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Meta is love and each of us expresses it differently X
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lightsoutmatthews · 2 days ago
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New Rules - Andrei Svechnikov
Summary: You and Andrei used to date, now you´re trying to let go of him with a set of new rules which should work (more or less)
Pairing: Andrei Svechnikov x female!reader
warnings: angst (some), sexual themes (not explicit, hints to), mentions of break up, hints to toxic behavior, mentions of being drunk
word count: 3.05k
authors note:
this is my very first time publishing anything I´ve written like ever
feedback is appreciated
english is not my native language so bear with any grammar or spelling mistakes
Svech is portrait as kind of toxic, that´s not how I see him irl
I hope you enjoy :))
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ONE: Don’t pick up the phone, you know he´s only calling cause he´s drunk and alone
“Give me your phone.” Your friend demanded as you checked it for the millionth time that evening. “What?” Confusion was written all over your face even though you knew exactly what she meant. “You are not waiting for his call.” You rolled your eyes in annoyance.
She knew you were waiting. He had just lost the metropolitan division final round against the Rangers. They had battled hard, almost came back to equalize the series after being down 3-1 just a few days prior but it wasn’t enough. Seeing the defeat on his and his teammates faces after they once again did not even come close to winning the cup broke your heart.
You were there when they got swept in the eastern conference final the year prior. You comforted him after the game, let him get drunk out of his mind and then brought him back to your shared apartment where he cried in your arms over not being able to be on the ice to help his teammates reach their ultimate goal. 
“We both know he will call as soon as he´s drunk enough. He always does.” Unfortunately, your friend knew your relationship well enough for that. When you were together, he always called after bad games. Sometimes when he was drunk, sometimes when he was sober, but he always called.
The thought sent a shiver down your spine. You knew you should have blocked him the first time it happened after you broke up. He was injured again. Taking a puck to the face. You had broken up a few weeks prior to that after one of your many disagreements was the tripping point for you.
He slurred his words during the phone call, begging and pleading for you to take him back. That he would change, for you. It broke your heart to turn him down.
“Give me the phone, girl.” Your friend held out her hand again, waiting for you to finally place the device into it. Your shoulders slumped. You knew you should give it to her because you would give in as soon as the call came through. Her face tensed when you made no move, just kept twirling the phone around. “You want him to call.” It was a statement not a question. You didn’t have to answer for you both knew you did.
“You need to get over him.” She hissed, slamming her drink down on the wooden bar top. “You relationship was toxic. He manipulated you. He wanted to take away your dreams and make you a trophy piece he can put next to the Stanley Cup one day. A beautiful thing on his arm he can show off. When will your realize?” Her face turned red as she spoke, her voice laced with venom.
A loud sigh left your mouth. She was right but still there was this feeling deep inside your chest that made you go back to him. “Grow up. He´s a playboy. A kid they gave too much money to who now thinks he´s the king of the world and can get away with everything because he´s good at shooting a rubber disk at a net.”
Each word stung in your chest. You knew she was right. “And yet I still love him.” Right on que your phone started to ring. Andrei Svechnikov.
“If you take this, I can´t do this anymore. I´m done watching you getting your heart broken by this asshole. You know he is only calling because he is drunk and alone.” You rolled your eyes. You knew she didn’t mean it; she just didn’t want you to get hurt again.
“Hey…” you said before dismissing her by turning around.
TWO: Don´t let him in, you´ll have to kick him out again
You thought he had gone back to Russia during the off season but when you had a knock at your door in the middle of the night. A gasp left your mouth when you saw the scene on the other side.
Seth Jarvis and Jesperi Kotkaniemi holding up a very drunk looking Andrei shooting each other worried glances as they waited for someone to open the door.
You leaned your forehead against the cold wood for a second, contemplating if you should let him in. With his state it would mean that he would spend the night, and you would have to kick him out again the next morning. Guilt would eat you alive if you let him stay but something in you knew you could not let him stand out there.
Three pairs of wide eyes looked at you after you gathered the courage to open. Jarvy and KKs eyes soon turned into guilt. Unspoken apologies filling the air. “BABY.” Andrei shouted. Peaking your head left and right you made sure no neighbors were nearby. “Hey.” You weren’t sure any of the men heard you. “He insisted on coming here.” KK stated, his words laced with guilt.
The both of you knew he knew better than bringing him here, so did Seth but you knew once Andrei had an idea in his head it was hard to get him to stop. “We´re sorry. We will take him home.” Seth fidgeted with his left hand and brushed it over his already tussled hair.
Your eyes wandered over the slump body of your ex-boyfriend. He was barely hanging on to his teammates shoulders. It must have been quite the process to even get him up here in the first place. “Bring him in.” KK exchanged a worried glance with his teammate on Andrei´s other arm. “Are you sure?”
Another loud sigh escaped your mouth before you could stop it. You knew you should say no. “Just do it, I will deal with the consequences later.”
Once Andrei was settled on your couch, deep asleep within seconds, you and his teammates stood in silence. Unspoken words heavy in the air. “We shouldn’t have come here.” Seth broke the silence. “It´s fine.” That was the end of the conversation.
The next morning you were awake way to early after the late-night disturbance. Andrei was still asleep on the couch when you walked into the living room. “Why are you here?” you whispered into the quiet space.
“I miss you.” Goosebumps rose on your arms at his reply. “Drei…” He groaned as he sat up. His hair tussled, his shirt wrinkled, his eyes shot red from the alcohol he indulged in last night. “I´m sorry. I didn’t know what I was thinking coming here. It was like a reflex when Jarvy and KK tried to take me home.”
“It´s fine.” You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “No, actually it´s not fine. Andrei, what are we doing? You call me when you are drunk, you show up at my doorstep when you´re drunk. Jarvy and KK apologized approximately fifty times for your behavior last night. We broke up months ago because YOU could no longer deal with my dramatics. You´re here for what exactly? Because it is certainly not to beg me for forgiveness.”
“I saw you on your date a few nights ago.” His confession hit you like a truck. You went for lunch with a guy from work a while ago. A friend from work, but you didn´t tell him that.
“And that gives you a right to do what? You can’t state any claim to me. We broke up, Andrei.” You clapped your hands over your face. The exhaustion from the long night now coming back to haunt you.
A beat passes with no reply. “Leave.” His eyes shot up in surprise. “What…?” You knew he wanted to say more but no words came out of his mouth. “Leave, Andrei. Leave and never come back. Never contact me again. We are over. I want to move on with my life and moving on does not include you.”
THREE: Don’t be his friend, you know you´re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning
Months passed without seeing him after you threw him out of your apartment that night. You moved on with life. A few dates here and there, but nothing came out of it. Sometimes he was on your mind during them. In the beginning you compared them to him even though you didn’t want to, but things got better with time.
The more time passed between the last time you saw Andrei and the present day the less your thought about him actually. Your friend, who obviously did not stop being friends with you because you picked up the phone, was happy with the development and set you up with various different people throughout the passing time.
All came crashing down the next time you saw Andrei. It was New Years Eve. You were at a club in Miami to celebrate. Some girlfriends talked you into a trip over the year change and you said yes. Having been wrapped up with work prior to the holidays you were excited to let loose for a bit.
The bass hammered through your body a few hours into the evening. Alcohol had been flowing in masses, and it was still an hour until the new year. You swung your arms over your head to a Latin song you liked, your girlfriends next to you. “The guy over there has been starring at you for the past 10 minutes, you should go talk to him.” one of them yelled into your ear.
You followed her finger and looked directly into pretty blue eyes. The guy had blonde hair and muscles that everyone could see under his slightly too small shirt. “Go talk to him! He´s hot!” Your friend yelled again.
“Hey, gorgeous.” He greeted you as soon as you slid on a chair next to him. “Hey there yourself.” Flirting came easier to you when you had drunken but something about talking to him made him nervous. “What´s a pretty girl like you doing here ringing the new year in all alone?” You knew it was the worst way to open a conversation and in a sober state you wouldn’t have fallen for it but in this scenario, you looked up at him with heart eyes.
“Waiting for a guy like you to talk to me.” I shot him a wink which made him chuckle. You and he fell into an easy conversation. He told you that he´s here for a bachelor party and you told him about your girls trip to Miami. Conversation flowed easily, you blushed as he bought you another drink and brushed a strand of your hair out of your face. His touch lingering a little longer for just a friendly gesture.
“Babe, there you are.” The words hit you like ice cold water. The familiar Russian accent sending a shiver down your spine. “Babe?” The guy in front of you questioned as he saw the tall Russian step into your space. “Yeah, man, thanks for taking care of her, when she´s drunk she likes to wander. You next drink is on me.”
Perplexity was written all over the guys face but Andrei´s expression was ice cold, so he took the hint.
“Are you out of your mind?” You went off on him as soon as he was out of your earshot. “Hello to you too, malysh.” The Russian term of endearment something you had grown familiar with over time. “Fuck off, Andrei.” You pushed him out of the way and marched back towards your friends, but he stopped you by grabbing your arm.
“Let me go.” You whisper yelled as to not draw too much attention to you two. He didn’t comply. “Svechnikov, I´m warning you. I told you the last time we saw each other that you don’t have any claim to me anymore so, I have no idea what your little stunt back there was supposed to be but thanks for that.”
“He looked like a douchebag. You´re not good enough for him.” You huffed out a grunt. “And for whom am I good enough? You? Don’t make me laugh.” He grimaced. “I didn’t come here to fight.” His English getting worse with the alcohol, but you still understood him well enough.
“Then what are you here to do?” The two of you had wandered around in the club, now standing almost in the middle of the dance floor. “I wanted to apologize. You blocked me on everything so I could not do it via text, so I took my chance.” Your eyes narrowed. You didn’t really know what to do with his confession.
“I would like for us to be friends. I know you hung out with KK and Jarvy.” Your eyebrows raised. Friends. He wanted to be friends. “What?” The tone of your voice must have caught him by surprise because his eyes widened. “Friends.” He repeated.
“Ten… nine… eight… seven…” the countdown started in the background. You were still trapped in the bubble Andrei´s words put you in, so they sounded like you had something stuck in your ears. “Let´s start the new year with a truce. Friends. We hang out occasionally, you come to a game every now and then. I promise to stop texting you drunk and to call you, and to show up at your house in the middle of the night unless you ask me to.” He slurred, half of his words getting lost in the chanting and celebrating happening around you.
You knew you should not do it. You knew this would end in disaster, just like it did the last times but were unable to tell this man no. He had captured you from the moment he first entered your life and put his spell on you. “Fine.”
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You blinked your eyes open stung by the brightness that hit you when you fully woke up. Holding your hand in front of your eyes, blocking the sun from hitting you in the face. This was not your hotel room; you could tell from the window you were looking at alone. Behind you the rustling of sheets let you know that whoever you went home with was still with you.
After taking a deep breath you tried to manage the headache that immediately hit you. The last thing you remembered was talking to Andrei, setting a truce with him about being friends. A mistake, you immediately thought.
Taking another deep breath, you picked up your phone and checked the time. Shortly after eleven in the morning. You didn’t remember when exactly you got here or how, but you knew that you were naked which meant you drunkenly slept with someone.
Usually, hookups were not your thing but today you could bring yourself to care. This is why you came to Miami. “Good morning, malysh.” Your heart skipped a beat. There is no way. Blinking a few short times to make sure you were not dreaming you turned around.
Andrei lifted his hand to block out the sun just like you had a few minutes earlier. “Fuck.” You mumbled. “Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. No, this is not happening. I´m dreaming.” You pinched yourself in the arm, jerking as it actually hurt.
Andrei chuckled behind you. “You okay?” His voice was rough and still laced with the screaming that had happened the night before. You buried your head in your hands. This could not be happening. You could not be in his hotel room, having come back to old patterns again. Your heart was racing, your hands were trembling, and your breathing was getting more rapid by the second.
“Malysh.” His voice mealy above a whisper. Shortly after you felt a soft kiss to your naked shoulder. “You´re panicking.” He correctly reads your actions. “Go.” was the only thing you said to him. “Baby, I can´t go, this is my hotel room.”
“Andrei, please, leave me alone for a few minutes.” He sensed the urgency in your words, so he slowly got up. “Okay, but we will talk about this after.”
And if you´re under him, you ain´t getting over him.
You took a few deep breaths, telling the situations was not as bad as you thought. At least you didn’t go with a stranger. An ex-boyfriend was not that much better, but it could have been worse. Drunk you is acting on sober you´s thoughts. Is what you thought. Did you still have feelings for Andrei? Was that a question you wanted to think about right now?
Andrei returned before you could finish your internal discussion. Shorts hung low on his body, his bulge visibly staining against the front. “There is no way you are turned on right now.” You tried to deflect. “What do you think happens when you are naked in my bed. You´re the hottest woman I have ever come across.”
You weren’t sure if he was being serious. Sure, he told you the same thing multiple times throughout your actual relationship, but he was with hotter people after. You saw the gossip, the models he was surrounding himself with after you had broken up.
“Stop thinking, Malysh.” The more he called you this specific Russian nickname the more you were taken back to your relationship. The problems but also the good memories. You knew this must end after today. You couldn’t let yourself get back to this.
He stepped into your space and started to prep your neck with kisses. “You´re thinking too much. Let me help you turn your head off just a bit.” He moved his kisses further down your neck before he pushed you down, so your back was hitting the soft sheets of the bed.
It was easy for him to climb over you and still reach every part of your body. He placed a short kiss to your lips before he started wandering again, placing kisses to every inch of you that was available to him.
This was the last time you were indulging in him; you were telling yourself. But the idea vanished when he sucked on your neck, leaving a mark as if you were his again.
You would deal with the consequences later.
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kavehayati · 8 months ago
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She honestly doesn’t do much to make me like her more I swear to God !!!!
Chat is it unnatural to hate your friend 💃
#I just tried talking to her#I swear to god like she is the definition of stem student stereotypes#yk business can be hard right ? everyone likes to think that it’s easy peasy LOL yall are so dumb#sometimes business is legit harder than pharmacy 😻 why do you think I sometimes get better marks in literal pharmacy LOL#pharmacy has a set series of things you study yk what to study like everything is GIVEN to you#business is chaotic and all over the place THATS why it’s hard#“you should see what I have to do” awesome habibti I don’t care about what you have to do after that statement#because you’re mentally stable#and before you tell me I have a chronic illness awesome cause that chronic illness doesn’t impact your memorisation ability not one but btw#sure it’s hard not saying it’s not but we LEGIT had a lecture on depression and you KNOW DAMN WELL that depression makes you not only non#functional but it’s horrible for the memory#and don’t even get me started on my headaches#I get atrocious headaches that make me cry sm cause why can’t I be like normal people#but she’s always like idk what you want me to do about it and ik there’s nothing she can do DUH#but why is it that she’s so much more considerate towards other people for general insignificant things AND she expects me to react in#certain ways to her issues but never to mine#I think having chronic headaches to the point of tears IN CLASS as someone who doesn’t cry even when Eris or my mum or whatever messed up#thing happened and yet I cried that shows how bad that is#yet she does not care#I swear to God this is the issue that nobody believes me on anything to do with my health !!! everyone is a freaking liar they’re like we#care BUT NO YOU DO NOT LMFAO how many times have I almost went to hospital yet YOU BRUSH IT ASIDE AS IF IM OVER EXAGGERATING !!!!!!!!#you have went to hospital ONCE in your life and fifty billion people visited you#I have been far more times yet no body fucking visited me ever#people ask me how I’m so tolerant ? it’s cause I had a shitty childhood filled with impossible people of the likes of her#and more !#and people wonder why I’m so insane now in fact I monitor my reactions to everything so well that literally no one has seen truly what my#insanity could consist of#not in the cringe way of hurting others LOL in the most self destructive way possible#this bitch. I should’ve ghosted her ass I should’ve told her how much I hate her since 2018 how much of a horrible person she is how#pathetic she is
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prideprejudce · 6 months ago
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I think alot more people would enjoy the show if they learned to see Rhaenyra and Alicent as Unreliable Narrators, and characters who are supposed to have glaring flaws and weaknesses.
Mandatory preface- There are Issues™️ with season 2 that are its own other ask- but the complaints ive seen about character assassination on both women kind of tells me ppl just wanted to see the two just GirlBossing around, not being tragic characters trapped in their own circumstances.
For Alicent specifically- she just isn't written to be Cersei 2.0, and while it was really interesting to see motherhood from cersei's point of view, its already been done!! I actually prefer seeing Alicent's mercurial clinging to and abandoning motherhood- its interesting!! She was made a mother at what- 15? An age where you truly arent mentally developed enough to raise 3 kids, AND be a child bride, AND be a queen, (AND be a lesbian).
Alicent is interesting to me because she's stunted at 15 years old, she's an adult woman who talks to and sometimes bullies her kids as if they are her peers, and is obsessed with her childhood crush(es). She hasn't built any new relationships* past the ones she was entangled with as a teenager, she's obsessed with both acting out to make SOMEONE see that shes suffering, (she's honestly pretty blatant for someone who prides themselves on being the Temperate Voice of Reason) but also to erase herself and reset to before she had to marry the king, before aemma died.
I think most of her 'bad out of character' decisions are just these two impulses winning out, her trying to force a reset, go back to a time where none of this had happened yet, when things were simpler and she had love and every day wasn't the worst day of her life™️.
She sleeps with cole, the man she thought was pretty at 15 (her last uncomplicated attraction just before it all went wrong and aemma died) -she doesnt seem to like it that much, but she does seem compelled to seek him out, esp when upset- shes obsessed with, and desperate to reconnect with Rhaenyra, her childhood best friend (and first love) and get back to where they were as kids, AND she still treats and asks her father for absolution as if he's still the only authority that matters to her just like she did at 15. Alot of her 'victim complex/bewildered they took it so far' behaviour in the plotting of rhaenyra's usurption reads to me like a teenager in over her head, she talked big game and now its real and shes panicking!! She's tragic BECAUSE she's still a teenager- so stunted shes unable to meaningfully grow up and learn to make healthier choices for herself, or move on and stop trying to grasp at the 'if i could just go back' urge.
As a mother, I think this creates an interesting dynamic as well, and I do like that in the casting even, she seems closer in age to her kids than rhaenyra does to hers. I think the contrast ppl are drawing with Alicent Protecting Her Kids in season1 compared to her giving them up in season two isn't bad writing to me, just massive differences in context. Sure she protected Aemond in driftmark, but we cant ignore that she probably felt humiliated by her husband choosing rhaenyra's side over hers in front of everyone, did it seem like a grown woman fighting for her son?? or a teenager furious with her ex winning one over her again? or both!! both sides twisted together is still interesting! When she protected Aegon from Rhaenys, is stepping in front of her son the king to protect him from the enemies dragon fire not the most romantic daydream of a deserving death a child bride could come up with?? Was it the impulse to protect the son she couldnt decide if she loved or hated, or was it to have the most heroic death possible to escape the reality that she sees coming. And if Rhaenyra hears about how Brave she was in the face of a dragons maw, and cries about it forever and feels sooo bad and regrets it til the day she dies, thats an added bonus. I think Alicent loves her kids, but is teenager selfish about HOW she loves and protects her kids, and is unable to be a mature, consistant, protective mother to them when she also sees them as having ruined her life. I think in season 2 when she 'gives them up' shes relieved, and once again following the compulsion of 'if i reset to when Rhaenyra was heir, i had no sons, and i wasn't married or queen, everything will be better'. I think theres complexity to it, i think she does love her sons and feels insane about it, but I think Alicent has been trying to Go Back in more and more Intense ways ever since she got married, and we might be giving her sanity more credit than it deserves when it comes to the need to wipe the board clean and go back to being 15.
hey anon are you trying to get married to me or what
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ashwhowrites · 9 months ago
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Hi, love your work.
I was thinking a maybe a break up and make up fic with:
Angst Prompt 31. “You broke me! You ruined everything we had and- for what?”
Fluff prompt 7. “You’re the only person I want to spend my life with”
With Eddie Munson/Y/N Henderson or Y/N Wheeler. A sister from one of the main party.
Eddie and Y/N have been together before season 1. Season 1 happens, Y/N was there. Resulting in her getting closer to Steve or Jonathan, to which Eddie thinks Y/N is cheating on him. Even catches Steve/Jonathan comforting Y/N and gets the wrong idea. They break up. The younger brother of Y/N tells Eddie off and makes him rethink things. Leading to them getting back together.
Thank you so much! I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻
Friends? Or something else?
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Y/N Wheeler was quite different from her sister, Nancy. Nancy liked the boy next door vibe, and Y/N liked the rebel bad boy. Y/N didn't see what Nancy ever saw in Steve in the beginning. But he turned out to be a sweet guy when Nancy stomped on his heart.
She felt bad for Steve, but Y/N wanted to spend her free time with Eddie. It was no shock that the two fell for each other. Eddie was exactly her type, the leather, the attitude, and the nasty mouth he kissed her with.
Anyone could see she was smitten with the boy. She kissed the ground he walked on. She would do anything he asked, and do it happily.
It was a shame all he did was doubt her love for him
~~~
Eddie and Steve didn't really get along. Back when Nancy and Steve were together, the sisters loved double dates.
As Y/N fed Eddie fries and shared chocolate milkshakes, Nancy and Steve would argue across from them. Half of their double dates ended with Eddie and Y/N sneaking off.
Eddie didn't like the way Steve carried himself. He thought he was so superior compared to the rest of them and that didn't sit well with Eddie. And Y/N thought the same. She hated the way he treated Eddie.
Y/N just couldn't get along with Steve.
Until Nancy broke up with him and he finally showed his true self.
She couldn't lie. She felt bad for Steve. He showed up to their house with flowers but Nancy was already out with friends. Y/N couldn't leave him outside and alone. She let him in and before she knew it she was comforting him.
He cried into her arms as he talked about how Nancy was all he had left.
"I'll be here for you, I promise."
And she meant it. Whenever Steve called, she listened to what he had to say. Nancy was a little bothered at first. She found it weird her ex-boyfriend was using her little sister as a shoulder. But then Steve began to change, in a way Nancy thought wasn't possible.
The friendship helped Steve and Nancy accept that. It even helped get them back on normal speaking terms.
Eddie hated it, though. He hated having Y/N in his lap, rocking her hips against his. His tongue battled hers as the music played through his shitty speakers.
"Wheeler, call for Wheeler."
Steve's voice cut through the moment like a knife. The static voice worked its way through the talkie and Y/N pulled back.
"One second," she whispered.
Eddie felt his stomach turn as she grabbed the talkie and went outside. He wanted to trust her, he so badly did. But it was so hard when she'd always leave the room to talk to him. Why can't she talk to him in front of her boyfriend? It meant she was hiding something.
She had to be cheating on him.
And the thought of it broke his heart.
The one time he was in love, she found someone else.
~
What Eddie didn't know was that Steve and Y/N found themselves thrown into some type of supernatural portal. Something called the upside down? She wasn't quite sure what it all meant yet, but all she knew was that she and Steve fought hand in hand for months on end.
The world seemed to be back to normal and they wanted to keep it that way. She didn't want Eddie to get dragged into all of it. She'd never forgive herself if something happened to him. So she demanded every single one in the gang keep what happened a secret.
It was sworn that Eddie never found out what happened a few months back.
As a result of being at war with Steve, meant their friendship grew so strong that they truly became best friends. They leaned on each other when they needed it the most.
Eddie didn't understand how one minute she hated Steve and the next, she ran the second he called. He knew something happened between them. He tried to piece together a timeline, but he drew blanks.
~
She bounced back into the trailer with an apologetic smile on her face.
"Steve needs to talk some stuff out. He got in a fight with his dad. Can we raincheck the movie?" she asked
Eddie fought the urge to roll his eyes. He wasn't surprised.
"Sure thing," Eddie smiled. He was good at pretending that nothing was wrong. So well that she had no idea she was ruining their relationship the more she picked Steve.
~~~
"Do you think you'll come to the hideout tonight?" Eddie asked as he wrapped his arms around Y/N. Her back to his chest as she crammed books in her locker.
His lips kissed her neck as he swayed them back and forth.
"Ew, get a room." Nancy gagged, but a smile on her face. Nancy loved seeing her sister in love. She was the main reason Nancy ended things with Steve.
Nancy wanted what Y/N and Eddie had, and she didn't feel like she did with Steve.
"Um, I'm sorry but I don't think I can." Y/N cringed as Eddie's touch was gone in a second.
Nancy sensed the air change and quickly left them alone. Nancy knew tonight was a meeting with the gang, they were worried the upside down was opening again. But Eddie couldn't know.
"Don't even tell me it's because you'll be with Steve." Eddie snapped.
Y/N felt nervous to turn around. She gulped as she turned around, that same apologetic look in her eyes.
"Why now? Can he just go to fucking therapy and stop using my girlfriend?"
"Eds, be nice," she tried, but she could tell by the look on his face that he was strongly irritated.
"What's wrong?" she asked, she reached to wrap her arms around his neck. She didn't hide the pain she felt when he backed away.
"What's wrong? What's wrong is that my girlfriend doesn't seem to give a shit that I exist." Eddie spat, he wanted to keep his anger in check but he couldn't help but sound pissed.
"Of course I do! Tonight I just had prior plans."
"Cancel and come with me," Eddie said, his voice soft as he grabbed her hand. He turned his puppy eyes to her as he begged.
"I can't cancel, Eds." She sighed sadly
The anger washed up as quickly as it washed away.
He dropped her hand like it burned. Her hand was dead against her side as it dangled.
"Why not?" he challenged
"They all need me, baby," she said softly
Eddie shook his head and chuckled darkly.
"They do or Steve does?"
"Eddie, you know it's not like that, right?" She said, her heart broke as she watched the insecurity flash across his face. Had he been upset about Steve all this time? Was she a horrible girlfriend for not noticing?
"Just sometimes I need my girlfriend too," he said sadly, then walked off.
"Eddie, no wait," she said, she grabbed his hand. She felt her throat close up as he sniffled.
"Forget it. I'll tell you about the show whenever I see you."
"Eddie, please. I'm sorry." she tried, she wanted to tell him the truth but she couldn't.
"I know, I'll see you later," he said, his mouth in a tight line as he walked away.
~
Y/N couldn't focus during the meeting. Her brain focused on the little fight with Eddie. Had she been neglecting him? She would never intentionally hurt him and she hated that she still did.
Steve was listening to Dustin when he heard sniffles. He looked beside him and watched as Y/N silently cried. Her head down as she used her shirt to catch the tears.
"You okay?" Steve whispered in her ear
"Course," she said, putting on a fake smile as she looked at him
But looking at Steve made her think of Eddie. And thinking of Eddie caused a loud sob to escape.
The gang all looked in her direction. Nancy and Mike watched with concern as she stood up.
"Sorry, need a minute." she apologized, she raced up the stairs and closed the basement door behind her.
She dropped her body on the front step and let the sobs take over her body. She cried into her hands as the afternoon played through her head on an endless loop.
Steve followed behind her, he sat next to her and he wrapped his arms around her. She turned her body into his and sobbed. Her wet tears soaked his shirt as she sobbed.
"What is going on?" he whispered, he gently rubbed her back as she tried to get ahold of herself.
She told him everything that happened, Steve felt a puddle of guilt in his stomach. He pulled her away, it was his fault Eddie was upset.
They were lost in their own world, no idea that as Steve placed a comforting kiss on her forehead Eddie was in the driveway.
Eddie's heavy feet stomped towards them. They jumped apart hearing his boots crunch the sticks below.
Steve stood up and held his hands in defense
"Munson, I swear it-" but he didn't get to finish his sentence.
Eddie went at him, a huge right punch connected straight against Steve's eye. Steve crumbled to the grass instantly as he held his eye.
"EDDIE!" Y/N gasped, she quickly jumped in front of Steve as Eddie went to charge forward.
"Not like that right?" Eddie spat, his voice filled with venom as he shot her words right back at her.
"Eddie," Steve groaned as he stood up. He looked at Eddie with one eye, holding the bruising one. "It's not what you think, I swear."
"I don't give a single fuck about what you have to say" Eddie hissed as he pointed at Steve over Y/N's shoulder.
"Steve, can you give us a second?" Y/N asked, but her eyes never left Eddie.
Once she heard the front door shut, she took a deep breath.
"How could you do this to me?" Eddie asked, his voice cracked as the first round of tears fell down his face. "We were so in love. You used to love me so much. You used to never leave my side and now? Now I can barely remember the last time we even had sex."
"Oh Eddie," she whimpered as she stepped forward and held his face in her hands. She cried seeing him cry. "We are in love! I still love you. I love you more and more every day. I'm sorry I've gotten so caught up with Steve but I promise you it is not because I have feelings for him. I didn't know you were missing me so much."
"How could you know? You won't see me for more than ten minutes." he snapped, he grabbed her hands and shoved them off of his face. She tried to ignore the drop of her heart.
"You're right. I am so sorry. Talk to me, let's talk it out."
"I don't think I even want to anymore," he confessed. YN shook her head as she panicked.
"No, baby, You can do it, just tell me what you are feeling, please," she begged, she fought hard not to touch him. All she wanted was to wrap her arms around him but she couldn't tell if he wanted her to touch him.
"You broke me! You ruined everything we had and- for what?" Eddie said, he lashed out as his tears turned into anger. His voice rose. "For Steve? I mean how could you even do this to Nancy?"
"She doesn't care because she knows we are just friends!" Y/N argued. "Like I've told you! There is nothing between him and I."
"YOU AND I USED TO BE FRIENDS, SHIT CHANGES Y/N!" he screamed, no doubt letting the neighbors know a fight was breaking out
"That's different." she cried, tears falling down her face.
"HOW?" he screamed as he stepped closer. Right in her face as he demanded his answer.
"BECAUSE I WAS ALREADY IN LOVE WITH YOU, ASSHOLE. I KNEW I LOVED YOU AND I HAD TO PRETEND I DIDN'T BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE YOU AS A FRIEND. THAT IS WHY IT IS DIFFERENT. I'VE NEVER WANTED TO KISS STEVE OR WONDERED WHAT HE TASTED LIKE. IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU!" she cried, it hurt to have him so close and not touch him. She wanted to have the right words to say.
"Then why has it only been Steve, lately?" Eddie asked, breaking down as the words left his tongue. More tears fell as he looked into her eyes. He used to see through her, but something happened and her eyes never told him the truth anymore.
"I can't tell you because it would kill me if you got hurt because of me." She watched as he nodded and choked back his tears. His red eyes looked into hers.
"You've been hurting me for months, and you are still breathing," her heart shattered as he began to step back, "Steve or not, it's clear you don't have the time for me. Take me off that full plate you have."
"Eddie, please don't" she sobbed as he kept stepping back. With each step he took, she made that step forward.
"If you ever truly loved me, you'll let me heal from you. I don't deserve to feel second best by my own girlfriend."
With those words, she stopped. She planted her feet in the grass as he turned around. She covered her mouth as he got in his van. Before he closed the door, she yelled his name.
He looked over at her
"I need you to know that I'm doing what you asked. I'll leave you alone and give you the space you need because it'll prove that I love you. Even if it kills me to never be with you again."
She watched as he didn't say a word, just closing his door and taking off down the road.
~~~
Mike had seen both his sisters experience breakups, but nothing as bad as Y/N.
It's been a week since the breakup, and Y/N barely leaves her room. She came out to use the bathroom, sometimes she'd sit in the kitchen and stare at the phone. She'd pray that he would call, but she knew he wouldn't. After a few hours, she'd go right back up to her room.
"Poor girl. I've never seen her so heartbroken." Karen said as she sat down at the dinner table. "Has she done any of the schoolwork she missed?"
"Barely, I've turned in a few of her assignments." Nancy said, "She won't even talk to me about it."
"Shame on that boy for hurting her," Karen said as she shook her head, "I wish I could smack some sense into him."
His mom's words gave Mike an idea.
~
The next morning Mike biked to Eddie's trailer. It was a Saturday morning so he knew Eddie would be rotting in bed.
He was done seeing his sister lose herself
and he was done with Eddie's cranky ass during Hellfire.
He threw his bike into the dirt as he raced up to Eddie's trailer. He pounded on the door.
"Wheeler?" Eddie said confused, his eyes half open as he yawned.
"We need to talk," Mike snapped, letting himself in the trailer and sitting on the couch.
"Great, another fight with a wheeler," Eddie mumbled to himself.
"What can I help you with?" Eddie asked as he stood.
"Why does it look like you are sleeping on the couch?" Mike asked with sass as he pushed the bundle of blankets out of his way. "Bedroom reeks of all the random girls you've been sleeping with?" he hissed.
"Woah, little Wheeler. What I do in my bedroom is none of your business. What makes you think I'm sleeping with random girls? Is that how your sister is dealing with the breakup?" Eddie asked, he couldn't help but get mad at his own words.
"Oh shut your mouth," Mike snapped, "my sister isn't this whore you claim her to be."
"I know, that was uncalled for," Eddie said, "how...how is she?" he couldn't help but ask. It had been eating him up all week. He hadn't seen her once, hadn't heard her voice, and it killed him. He had no idea if she was breaking apart or completely fine with Eddie gone.
"Answer my question first," Mike demanded, he got off the couch and walked to Eddie's room. If there was a girl in there, Mike swore he'd kill Eddie before the upside-down had the chance.
"WHEELER!" Eddie yelled but Mike carried on. He flew Eddie's door open. And it was empty. The bed set is perfectly made, with a flower on the pillow with a note attached.
"And what slut is this for? Moving on already?" Mike snapped. He reached forward and grabbed the note.
"Give me that!" Eddie snapped back, snatching the note from his hands. "I'm not sleeping with anyone, okay? I haven't been in here since the breakup. She made my bed that morning and wrote me a note, and this was the first flower someone had given me. I just wanted to leave everything the way she touched it." Eddie explained. The room held too many memories, and it smelled of her.
"Can we talk in the living room?"
Mike nodded, knowing not to push Eddie further.
They walked back into the living room as Eddie closed his bedroom door. Eddie took a seat next to Mike.
"She's heartbroken," Mike said, Eddie looked over at him. "She doesn't eat, barely sleeps, and stares at the phone the second school ends until she knows you are asleep. She's miserable and it's all your fault!" Mike said, pissed at Eddie for hurting his sister. Mike stood up so he could tower over Eddie, by a little.
"You broke her and you better fix it!"
"I didn't do anything, Mike. You are too young to understand, but our relationship wasn't the same." Eddie sighed. He did feel awful hearing about how bad she was doing. Guilt in his bones as he pictured her staring at the phone.
There were so many times he wanted to call. At one point he didn't care if she ever had feelings for Steve, he wanted to be with her anyway. He'd watch her kiss Steve a thousand times if she still picked Eddie to come home to.
"I might be young, but I'm not an idiot. Steve never liked her, he is still hung up on Nancy. And Y/N never liked Steve more than a friend. Hell, she barely understood what Nancy saw in him because he wasn't you. She is so in love with you that you are literally the only guy she sees worthy. I don't blame you for wanting to protect yourself. But she has been killing herself to protect you."
"But I don't understand why she can't tell me! We've been in a relationship for over a year, and she still has these secrets!" Eddie argued.
"It's not her secret to tell! It's mine, okay?" Mike said, Eddie looked at him confused. "What I'm about to tell you is going to sound insane. But you have to believe me. It'll explain why Y/N thought it would protect you to keep you out of it."
Eddie sat and listened as Mike explained what happened over the past year. The upside down and the battles. How Y/N and Steve got thrown together and they could only turn to each other because of it. But it all made sense. She kept promising she couldn't tell because if he got hurt, it would kill her. Because if Eddie got hurt, he wouldn't survive.
~~~
Eddie waited a day before he picked up the phone. He felt nervous as he dialed the number he knew by heart.
It rang for a second before a voice appeared on the other end
"Hello, Y/N speaking,"
Eddie closed his eyes at the sadness in her voice.
"Hey, darling. It's, uh me, Eddie." He stuttered out
"I knew it was you by the first word," she laughed sadly. She hated how hard it seemed to talk to him. Like she didn't know what to say.
"Right," he chuckled, "I was hoping we could talk? Maybe better in person?" He drummed his hands against the wall as he heard her breathing heavily through the phone.
"Yeah, um when and where?" Her voice cracked as she blinked back her tears. This was the final moment, he wanted to break it off officially. She gave him his space and he was ready for it to be forever.
"Please don't cry, sweetheart." He begged, choking up himself as he listened to her.
"I'm fine!" She lied, "Just tell me when and where."
"My place and the sooner the better."
He clenched his eyes in pain as she whimpered and let out a soft okay before the phone went dead.
~
She drove over to his trailer, unable to keep the tears back.
She was scared to see him again. She barely kept it together hearing his voice again. She didn't want to cry when she saw him, but it was all she had been doing for the past week.
Eddie was against his trailer smoking a cigarette when she pulled up. She took another deep breath as she turned off the car. Even having that small glimpse sent her head into a spiral.
Eddie smashed his cigarette as she walked up to him. She wore one of his old hoodies, and a pair of sweats she stole after their first movie date. Her eyes were majority swollen and red. Her nose was red as she rubbed it with his sleeve.
"Hi, sweets" Eddie cooed, as he opened his arms. Within seconds her body crashed into his as she wrapped her arms around him. He wrapped his arms around her. He rested his chin on her head, inhaling her scent. He kissed her head, and every painful feeling in his body melted away.
She sobbed as she inhaled his clothes. All she wanted was to be with him again, and she was. She kept squeezing him tighter, hoping he'd feel closer.
"Don't cry, my love," he said into her hair, rubbing her back.
"I missed you so much," she sobbed, "it was so hard to give you the space you wanted."
"I missed you too, baby girl. I'm so sorry I made you give me space. I'm so sorry for the mess I made since I didn't communicate when I should have. Let's go inside." He let go of her body but laced his hand with hers as they walked into the trailer. Eddie led her to his room, he opened the door and closed it behind him. She refused to let go of his hand, but he didn't ask her to.
She wasn't sure how long she'd have before he wanted space again. He sat beside her as she looked around his room. She noticed it was the same as a week ago, but she didn't say anything.
instead of sitting next to her, he dropped to his knees and rested his head on her lap. She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair, she scratched his head in the way he loves.
"I'm sorry for fucking this up. I should have trusted you, I'm sorry I didn't. I thought I needed space, but all it did was make me miss you." He melted into her touch as her fingers continued to run through his hair. "I'm so in love with you. I wasn't used to sharing you and I felt like I was losing you." His puppy eyes looked up at her as he sat up on his knees.
He laced his hands with hers and rested them on her lap
"I'm sorry for not realizing how much I was hurting you. You are the only boy I'd ever want. I love you and that won't ever change." She said she unlaced their hands so she could cup his face. Her thumbs rubbed his wet cheeks as she leaned in and placed her lips on his.
Eddie wrapped his arms around her waist, his palms resting on her back as he kissed her back. Eddie straightened himself as he deepened the kiss. He kept his lips on hers as he pushed her back and stood up. Her back was against his mattress as he climbed on top of her. The kiss grew more intense and hungry as her hands moved to his stomach. His right hand rested on her cheek, he moaned as he slipped his tongue inside her mouth.
The kiss sent goosebumps rising on her skin. The feelings she felt when she kissed Eddie never went away, it was always butterflies and needing more.
Eddie pulled away for air, his eyes soaking her in. She was slow to open her eyes but when she did she was staring into Eddie's.
“You’re the only person I want to spend my life with” she whispered
"Just like the note said." he smiled
"Just like the note said," she laughed. Already missing his lips, she placed her hand on the back of his neck and brought his lips to hers. She frowned when Eddie pulled back a little, not letting their lips meet.
"Before I get carried away with you," Eddie winked, she blushed and bit her lip. "Will you be my girl again?"
"I never stopped,"
Eddie smiled and smashed his lips back on hers. They hungrily touched each other, showing how much they missed it and never wanted space again.
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captain-bubble-wrap · 13 days ago
Note
I'm curious how do you think Quinn would handle a breakup? Maybe one where he's being broken up with?
Boy, was this one hard to write... 90% of this is based on my last breakup, so... it's pretty... painful. SO ENJOY my misery! (I gave you a better ending than I had IRL, so you're welcome for that at least.)
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"I loved you, I really did."
"It doesn't have to be this way," Quinn begged. "I still love you, Y|N."
"But you don't show it, Quinn. I've been so alone for so long and I just can't put myself through this anymore." Tears had been streaming down your face for several minutes now, since this whole spiraling conversation had started, yet you never broke eye contact with him. You wanted him to know how much this was hurting you to say and just how long you had been carrying the weight of it all.
"I tried to tell myself it would pass. It was this excuse, and that excuse, but nothing ever changed. I just don't think you can handle a relationship and your career right now. I'm tired of lying to myself. I'm tired of acting like tomorrow will magically be better. It's never better."
"Y|N I'm sorry--"
"I'm sure you are, and so am I, but I can't do this anymore. I just can't."
Quinn said nothing, his eyes dropped from your face while he stood there looking completely lost.
"You always say I don't deserve to feel the way I do when I'm down, because you've caused me to feel that way, but that's as far as it goes. Nothing ever changes. It's the same stuff over and over."
"I know, that's on me," he choked out, throat tight with anxiety. "I never intended to hurt you. I didn't think things were as bad as they were. I didn't realize I was hurting you."
You just shook your head in disbelief at hearing him say he hadn't noticed what he was doing to you. "You know, maybe I just asked too much from you. Maybe I demanded too much and you had no choice but to push back. I just don't know."
Quinn's eyes flick back to you immediately, "You were never too much, and I meant that every time I told you -- every time I tried to reassure you. You have always been there for me."
"And what about you? Where were you when I needed you the most? Distant, closed off, out with the guys? Even when you were beside me, you weren't really there. I begged you to do stuff with me and you'd say sure, but something would always come up. It was like you wanted an excuse to be away from me. I understood in the beginning, but fuck! I wouldn't hear from you until the next day. 'Sorry, I fell asleep. I left my phone at the hotel.' How could I not be suspicious?"
"I never cheated on you!" Quinn cried out.
"But, Quinn, the goddamn panic attacks you caused me! That hurt me!" Your voice was so much louder now, straining to remain below a yell. He was a blur in your eyes, with the tears obstructing your vision. "I begged you for the smallest of things! Christ, I'd say, 'good night, I love', and it was like you'd just ignore what I said. You never said anything the next morning! You say you love me, but you're horrible at showing it."
Quinn's voice, on the other hand, was growing smaller each time he had to plead his case. "I never fell out of love with you, Y|N, it's just like we drifted apart. I love how you treat me. I just wasn't used to being treated that way. I'm sorry if it came off like I was pushing you away."
"It was months though, Quinn. Months of feeling like I was the third wheel or just another friend. I don't like feeling so alone in a relationship. It's horrible."
"I don't know what else to say, but I'm sorry. Can I do anything to make this better?"
You were biting your bottom lip so hard when you heard his half-assed apology you tasted blood shortly after. "No, I don't think so. Too much has happened. I never thought we'd come to this. I thought you were going to be the last guy I had to open up to; the last guy I'd have to explain my past to. I wanted you to be my last, Quinn."
"I know, and I'm sorry I hurt you like this. I just got too comfortable and never checked in with how you were feeling. It was selfish of me. I'm not proud of any of this."
"I'm sorry it had to be this way, too. Sorry I had to bring this up out of the blue, but I've just reached my breaking point one too many times."
Even through all of your anger and sadness, you wanted to walk over to him and give him one last hug, but you had to stand your ground or all of these revelations would be for nothing. Too many times before you had talked yourself out of telling him how you had felt, but there would be no going backwards now.
"I've got to put myself first for one," you finally brought yourself to say. "I'll get my stuff out of here while you're on the road."
"Y|N--," he mumbled, his eyes so sorrowful hearing you say your goodbyes, so finite and decided.
"I hope everything works out for you, Quinn. I really do. I hope you find the person that's right for you. Someone who can handle your life and schedule. Again, I'm sorry but that doesn't appear to be me."
That was it. You had said everything you had argued with yourself over for months, in a matter of minutes, and now you were leaving his apartment. You'd linger on your decision for a moment once the door closed behind you, but you had to force yourself to go forward though your heart was begging you to go back.
On the other side of the door, you wouldn't hear him finally break down; his cries unheard and his heart shattered.
You'd reach the parking garage and get in your car but you didn't leave immediately -- almost like you were wanting to see if Quinn was just behind you, but the elevator door never opened. It was for the best. What would you have done if he had? Run back over to him? Say you were sorry? It was best not to think about the what-ifs.
It would hit you, as you rolled onto the street, that the next time you returned it would be to get your things, and likely the last time you'd ever be at his apartment. That apartment held so many memories, both good and bad. It felt more like home than your own did.
You'd find yourself in a silent argument the whole drive home until one song, on your shuffled playlist, catches your ear. It was Venice Bitch, by Lana del Rey, a song you loved until, for the first time, you noticed how much it aligned with your emotions.
"Fresh out of fucks forever, trying to be stronger for you. Ice cream, ice queen... oh god, miss you on my lips. It's me, your little Venice bitch...on the stoop with the neighborhood kids, calling out bang-bang kiss-kiss...and as the summer fades away, nothing gold can stay...you're right, I told you we'd make it work, you're beautiful and I'm insane...we're American made...give me Hallmark: one dream, one life, one lover...paint me happy and blue."
The music swells, as your tears run off your jawline. You loved Quinn so much! He had been the prince you had dreamed of, wished for and what had you done?
"Oh god, love him on my lips...touch me with your fingertips...it's me your little Venice bitch."
You'd pull in your driveway, your forehead resting against the steering wheel while you screamed out in agony at your broken heart. Your body hurt from crying for so long, throat sore from such loud emotions, and chest heavy with anxiety. Eventually, you'd exit your car and drag yourself to your front door. You couldn't just crawl into bed after all of that, you would need help in crying yourself to sleep. So, in the kitchen, you'd go through two glasses of wine while you convinced yourself you were such an idiot. Realizing you had thrown away the best thing to ever happen to you, you would being crying to loudly, it was like you were screaming. It was any wonder you hadn't awoken your sleeping neighbors next door. There was no fixing this now. What was done, was done.
All you wanted was some comfort but there would be no one to give you any. Not now. You felt you didn't deserve it anyway.
Leaving the glass and open bottle on the island, you forced yourself to the bathroom to wash your face. Seeing yourself in the mirror --how broken you looked-- had you been any weaker, you would have thrown something at it to erase the image from your mind. If only it would have been that easy to erase Quinn's sad eyes pleading for you not to leave. You wish you would have just left the light off.
In your bedroom, either out of habit or for comfort you grabbed a shirt to sleep in, which had been one of Quinn's. It hadn't taken long for the slight buzz to affect you but you felt no lighter or less phased by your actions. You wondered if you ever would.
As you figured you would, you'd cry into your pillow until flat exhaustion would pull you into sleep. That was until the buzzing of your phone would wake you from the light slumber. On the screen, "Huggy Bear" illuminated the room in bold, white letters. You ended the call, but no sooner had the phone screen gone black, it was flashing again. Like the first one, you swiped the red button and the ringing finally ceased. The next time the phone would buzz would be from a text notification. The words would send butterflies pulling your heart in one hundred different directions.
"I'm outside. Please, may I talk to you?"
Torn between leaving him out there in the cold, and actually giving him a moment to say what he needed to, you laid there for a few minutes before throwing the blankets aside and stumbling down the hall to the living room. Wiping your cheeks, you unlocked the door to find him standing there, his hoodie pulled up around his messy curls and his eyes bloodshot and wet.
You lean against the doorframe for support; arms crossed in an attempt to hide your deeper emotions.
"Y|N, I don't want things to be this way. I don't want things to end like this."
It was so hard, but you stood your ground, no matter how hard you wanted to fall into his body and tell him you were sorry.
"I'll try harder. I shouldn't have taken you for granted like I did."
Finally, you say something to him with a slight shaking of your head," This wasn't all on you. I asked too much. I'm sorry."
Your stifled cries can't be held back for long, and shortly after apologizing, you cover your face with your hands to hide your crying. Your whimpers stab Quinn in the heart all over again, still feeling he's the sole reason you're feeling this way. He steps forward, and wraps his arms around you. He's so warm against the cold night air, which causes your nails to dig into his back, allowing yourself to return his embrace.
"I'm so sorry! I'm so, so sorry!" You cried out, holding on to him like a lifeline.
"So am I," Quinn whispered in to your ear, trying to keep you from a panic attack. "C'mon, let's get you back inside. Is that okay?"
You'd allow him to guide you back into the warmth of the your house. He would be the one to shut and lock the door, and through all of that, he'd still keep you pressed against his chest.
"I never wanted to make you cry," he confessed, never realizing how much he could miss the feeling of you in his arms.
"I can't believe I hurt you like that, Quinn," you replied, hiding your face from his.
"Don't apologize, please." he said, nearly on the brink of tears himself. "I'm sorry I hurt you so much that we even got to this point in the first place."
The fact that he had even wanted to see you, to drive outside of the city to get to you, and above all else, not telling you how much of a horrible person you had been, spoke volumes of Quinn's willingness to be better for you. He wrapped both arms around you tighter than he ever had before. You were shivering, wearing nothing but that oversized t-shirt, but you didn't care; being cold wasn't going to take away whatever this moment was with Quinn.
"Are you okay?" He asked, running a hand up and down your spine. "You're shaking."
"I don't know."
"Come on, pretty girl, let's get you back to bed, hm? If you'll let me."
You nod, but were still reluctant to let go of him. Now you were forced to face him and it felt terrible to still see him looking so heartbroken. His cheeks were still wet with fresh tears, as he had apparently been silently crying while he had been holding you. You touched his face and his eyes closed against your touch.
"I'm sorry."
His eyes would open again, and he would try to smile for you. "I'm sorry, too."
Without another world, Quinn would guide you back down the hall to your bedroom, rather familiar with where everything was in the house. The light was off, your phone lay in the middle of the bed with the screen on. Your wallpaper was a picture of Quinn and yourself at last year's Stanley Cup playoffs, and it was the only light in the room. Quinn would click on one of the bedside lamps before reaching for your phone.
"I always loved that photo," he said, lingering on the photo for a moment before shutting off the screen and laying it next to the lamp.
You'd crawl into the bed and he would move to tuck you in, "I don't want you to hate me, Quinn."
He'd stop moving to return his eyes to your face. "I don't, sweetheart. I don't think I could...ever. It hasn't crossed my mind."
"But--"
"I'm not upset with you, baby. This is on me. What you said was true: I should have paid more attention.
You gasped through the beginnings of another crying fit, "I don't deserve it!"
"Shh, shh," Quinn leaned forward to cradle your face with his hand. "I needed to hear it, baby. The truth hurts sometimes. I'll be okay once you are."
"Will you-- will you stay tonight?" You asked, terrified he could possibly deny your request, trying to stop crying.
"Of course," he managed to actually smile. "I'd love to."
"Quinn, I'm so--"
"It's okay, it's okay. We've both said it enough."
You'd sniffle with an added nod as he pulled back the covers to get in next to you. He'd turn off the lamp before you found your place against his chest.
"I'll be right here when you get up, okay?" He assured.
"Promise?" You mumbled.
"I promise. I also promise not to make you feel like this again."
You didn't know what to say. It was like he had completely forgiven you for everything. "I don't want to lose you."
"You haven't sweetheart. I'm right here," he said, running a hand through your hair. "I love you."
Quinn's admission made you cry again, "I love you, too, baby."
"Shh, shh, you don't need to cry. I'm right here. I'm yours as long as you want me."
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al-luviec · 4 months ago
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cont...
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#continuing the rant in a reblog or i will go insane because i shant leave this business unfinished#he doesn't allow himself to properly handle emotions. ever. i was talking to a friend about this the other day but the ninja all cry#in different ways. nya and kai (due to their upbringing) struggle with emotional regulation and so when theh cry they BAWL. such as nya#bawling head in hands after zane died. and then kai who bawled head in hands when nya died in s6. when lloyd cried in s8 (maybe 9..?) he#shed several tears. he silently cried but i attribute this to not wanting harumi to get the emoitonal upper hand on him. then there is jay#who (when upset) will make it everyone elses problem. hes a free crier what he feels is real and he will express that. THEN YOU HAVE ZANE#zane first cries in tick tock post after turning on his memory switch. it was in response to his father's final message to him#“im only doing this because i love you' sort of deal. he cried one singular tear and moved on. he had to keep fighting. no time to dwell#on this crazy revelation because he needs to help the ninja. their needs over his. the 2nd (and final time according to my memory) time is#right before he dies in s3. one singular tear at the thought of his father and then he dies. anytime there is a huge loss zane does a lot o#the comforting. him comforting kai during nyas death in s6 and also during coles assumed death in s10. anytime he feels bad#he pushes his needs down. insert him literally turning off his emotions because his productivity was low. this behavior is less apparent#in the earlier seasons (just bc tonally the show is different) but it is still there. big fan of how hes written in this episode bc theres#so many little things. he was the one who took out the trash even though he never threw any food. he took his apron off near the trash cans#like he was going to throw it away + his dislike of pink later. he decides to follow the falcon after hearing the ninja laugh from outside#the gate. he made food as an apology for 'ruining' the dinner prior even though that wasnt even what happened. hes always trying#to make up for things that you cant make up. no one will be in the wrong but he will feel as if it falls on him. he is always chasing#what he cannot reach. s11 his message where he says he hasnt achieved his goal of protecting others yet. its a cycle that will never end#and that characterization is present HERE its so fun to me. zane being an entirely different perso but the same at the same time fucks me u#'i am just a replica' but in the 'im a shell of who i used to be way' later zane is very much zane still. bad writing doesnt make that#apparent though. i dont think zane now should behave 100% like zane in s1. i miss him then too BUT he has changed. out of all the ninja#hes done the most character degression... if that makes sense? hes still the same guy with the same issues. but with even more issues now#i think thats about it.#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#<- so that was a lie LMFAO
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babyleostuff · 9 months ago
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up. and down
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𝜗𝜚 angst, established relationship 𝜗𝜚 idol!seungcheol x fem!reader 𝜗𝜚 wc: 818 warnings: mentions of mental health issues, depression, oldest daughter syndrome
natalia's note: this is something very self indulgent, and as much as i'm kind of afraid to post it (partially because it's shitty as hell, and not proofread) writing it was a bit healing. whoever is struggling out there as well - i just want you to know that you're a fucking badass
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everyone has their better and worse days. life is just a constant sinusoid of going up and down, up and down. 
up. and down. 
this was definitely one of your downs. but it was also one of those where you couldn’t explain why you were feeling so down. so numb. so washed out of everything. nothing bad really happened that day - you didn’t oversleep, no one spilled coffee on you, everyone you encountered was nice and polite. maybe the weather was a bit gloomy, but you knew it had nothing to do with the way you were feeling. 
yet, as you were walking up the stairs to your apartment, all you could focus on was the emptiness in your chest, the heart that was beating way too fast for it to be normal, the tears threatening to spill, and your shaky hands that were clutching the door keys for dear life.  
and you felt so guilty for that. you didn’t know why, but you did. 
you tried telling yourself that you weren’t weak, that it was valid for you to have a worse day, and not feel guilty about it - but you just couldn’t. nothing happened for god’s sake, you didn’t have a single reason for the tears that were pooling in your eyes, so how could you call yourself anything but weak?   
“hey, honey. you’re home early,” you looked up to see your boyfriend standing in the hallway, with a big smile on his face. the exact one that could usually turn the shittiest days into the best ones. but not today. 
it made you feel even worse. seungcheol was one of the best things that could ever happen in your life. he was caring, loving, he’d move the mountains for you if he had to. he was the most hardworking man you’d ever met, and he never complained, no matter how hard it got. 
you didn’t want him to see you like this. ever. you didn’t want to show the light of your life your ugly side, the one that could rot in bed for days because it had no energy to get up and take a shower. the one that cried for hours for no reason. the one that sometimes felt like giving up was the only solution. 
you cleared your throat, trying to push everything away for the sake of your boyfriend. “hey, baby. what are you doing here, shouldn’t you be at work?” 
“yeah, but,” he narrowed his eyes, and took in your form, “they let us go early today,” he said after a quick pause. of course in that split of a second he sensed that something wasn’t right. as if you could ever hide anything from him. “what’s wrong?” 
“nothing,” you wanted to scream. nothing happened, except that your lungs didn’t let you breathe, and your heart was too heavy to beat properly. 
“i don’t know,” you finally admitted, and shrugged your shoulders. that’s when the first tear fell. “i don’t know what’s wrong, cheol,” your voice broke. 
seungcheol didn’t say anything else, he just walked up to you, and put his arms around you, caging you in an embrace that you knew so well. everything was so familiar - his gentle yet firm touch, the smell of his cologne, his slightly chapped lips resting against your temple - and still you felt like an intruder. like you didn’t deserve it. 
“you know i love you, right?” though his voice was quiet, you could hear it was slightly shaky. “your friends love you,” he said, and slid one of his hands from your back up to your head, cupping it. “and kkuma loves you. very much.” 
you choked on a sob, and hid your face further up seungcheol’s neck.
“i know you don’t see yourself like that,” you could feel something wet sliding down your neck, and for some reason you knew that the tears weren’t only your own, “but you’re so strong. you really are.” 
by now you were gripping onto cheol’s shirt like it was the last thing that could keep you afloat. you didn’t care about the tears anymore. you didn’t care about the broken cries. you just wanted to stay like this forever. 
“why am i like this? why can’t my mind just leave me alone?” you cried, your shoulders shaking. 
“i don’t know, baby. i don’t know.” 
and so you stood in the hallway of your apartment, with a very confused white fluff ball at your feet, till you had no more tears left to cry.
life is just a constant sinusoid of going up and down, up and down. 
up. and down. 
even though your down may seem like a dark path with no way out, like a never ending circle of tears and pain, you have to keep fighting, because you have people worth fighting for. 
and most importantly - you have to keep fighting for yourself.
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kill4luvina · 1 year ago
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"Too Much!"
TattooArtist!Ony x Black!Reader
Summary : Y/N asks her boyfriend for a new tattoo under her tits, after telling her over and over again it'll hurt he finally agrees, he starts only for the exact thing he wanted to prevent happening. So, he evens out the pain by getting her a vibrator as he continues doing the tattoo on her, only to end up fucking her <3
Warning(s): SMUT, NOT PROOF READ AT ALL, Vibrator Usage, uh probably more but idk.
(Idc, Ony got cornrows here like anyway)
꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷
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꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷
"Babbyyy, Please?" You were on your knees begging to your boyfriend as you held out your phone showing him the under boob tattoo you badly wanted. "No, you gon be cryin, that shi hurt like a bitch." he'd mutter rolling his eye trying to look everywhere put your face. "B-but" you'd start sniffling and tearing up, he had spoiled you way too much, and honestly it was too late to stop. "fuck.. okay.." he'd finally give in making you jump into his arms in excitement.
The next day, you came into his privet room in the back of the tattoo shop. You were wearing a white mini crop top showing your under boobs with a short black mini skirt that barely covered your ass with pretty black Gucci Strappy Sandal Heels. You'd hug your boyfriend in excitement thanking him again for letting you have it on the house, like you always do. It was a trade actually, he'd give you free tattoo's and you'd braid his hair whenever he wanted. "I shouldn't let you pop out no where dressed like this no more.." He'd sigh noticing the pretty under ass tattoo he had done for you months ago with his name, having flashbacks to when you cried your heart out until he had fingers plunged in you to even out the feeling of pain.
"Ony! You didn't tell me it hurt this bad!!" You'd scream as soon as it made contact with your skin, instantly triggering him as his left eye twitched at the statement you made. "I didn't what?" He asked looked up at you, eyes focusing on you and ngl he looked mad asl. "You said this shit last time too!" He'd say annoyed as he ignored you for about 5 minutes until you start crying. Eyes filled with tears sobbing as you brought your hands up to try and clean your overflowing tears. "Alright, stop crying mamas, give me a second." He'd say getting up taking off his gloves as he went into his drawer bringing out a new vibrator that wasn't open yet.
"Got it just for you, i didn't think you deserved it tho." He say sitting back in his seat as he watched you trying to clean your face quickly still sniffling as your face was now a mess but you still looked so cute in his eyes. He'd open you legs as he ripped off the packaging off the vibrator resting his right hand on your pussy giving you small circles making you moan as he gave you a sloppy kiss. "Feeling better?" he's ask watch you nod your head, feeling you get completely wet at just the contact of his fingers. He'd take the vibrator and turn it on low, he had bought you a pink Rabbit Vibrator. It was basically a penetrative vibrator that offered simulation to your clit to.
He's slowly slide if in before licking his fingers and putting his gloves back on as you moaned trying your hardest not to move as your legs clamped together. "Stay still.." he's say blankly as he continued your tattoo as you didn't even know how to feel at that moment, hands holding tightly to whatever you could find. This would go on for about another 25 mintues until he'd stop as you start twitching from your second orgasm somehow. He'd take off his gloves before pulling out the now soaked vibrator putting it too the side. Standing up he'd pull down his grey nike sweat pants to reveal his erection that had been twitching between his pants since this session had started.
Not being able to hold himself back anymore he'd push himself into you making you moan loudly as you quickly wrapped your arms around his neck giving him sloppy kisses as he fucked you completely senseless as you babble telling him how much you love him. Crying when as he started leaving marks all over your neck finding you sensitive spot attacking it solely leaving you completely helpless. "Ony! Thank uuu!" You'd moan tears leaving your eyes as you came on him, twitching as squirting all over him as he came right after you.
He'd lay there for a moment giving you soft kisses as he whispered "Anytime my love.." Noticing you start to fall asleep knowing that you'd probably ask him to add onto this tattoo some other day noticing he hadn't completely finished it but it looked close enough to done.
LOL WHEN HE WENT OUT TO GET A BOTTLE OF WATER HE OPENED THE DOOR AND SAW A SMALL GROUP OF EMPLOYIES AND COSTUMERS AT THE DOOR LISTENING IN. LIKE BYE.
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iheartmapi · 4 months ago
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Get Gone (pt.2 to “Teddy Bear”)
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Alexia Putellas x Reader
Summary: Alexia had crossed another line, and you couldn’t let it be like this anymore.
Angst, no comfort ig
TW: none
Word count: 1,185
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Your eyes flickered around the restaurant you were patiently waiting in for the past 30 minutes.
The situation is easy to guess, you were waiting for Alexia, since she herself proposed a date today to you a week ago. Yet she wasn’t showing up. Sweat painted your hands, you wanted to finally catch a glimpse of her blonde hair somewhere in the crowd of waiters and other clients, you tried texting her, perhaps she got stuck in traffic or something else happened to her?
You hoped it was only something of innocent nature…Alexia wouldn’t stand you up after all, right?
More time passed and passed, but to no avail Alexia hadn’t appeared in the restaurant. Tears were begging to be let out of your eyes, it was hard keeping yourself in check and not crying a river right there in public but you at least managed to get back to your car before breaking down in tears.
You went back home, your sadness slowly morphed into anger towards Alexis, lately you’ve been wondering if this relationship even had any chance of salvation. She didn’t return till late in the evening. You were sitting in the living room, your arms crossed as you saw her drop her bag down on the floor. Not even a “sorry”, “hey” or “how are you was dropped, let alone one single look at you. You wanted to scream at her, make a mess of the apartment, claw at her skin pull your hair anything..but she’d just turn a blind eye to it anyway, it’s as if you were invisible, when you were around her she treated you like mist, she just didn’t care.
“Why?” You then spoke up, your cheeks got a reddish tint to them, as well as your eyes which were letting tears fall. You cried silently, just looking at her as she turned around to face you as if she had no clue what you meant by ‘why’
“What are you talking about?” Alexia’s brow furrowed, her gaze said it all, she was looking at you as if you were some mad woman that should be institutionalised for her over-sensitivity. “Why don’t you love me anymore?” You choked out the question you had wanted to ask her for the past few months.
“Y/n-“ Alexia begun with a tired voice, “No” you cut in “Don’t ‘Y/n’ me, you know it’s the truth” And she probably did, Alexia stood in place, her eyes diverted from yours.
“I wanted this to work, I really did, and we had our happy years didn’t we? But you changed Alexia, you don’t give a shit about me anymore.” Your voice broke here and there, a thousand words and sentences were running through your brain, so fast it made you feel like it was frying.
“I thought about this so many times, thought about all the things I wanted to say to you…but now I can’t, there’s so many of them I can’t keep up, you had done me so bad, so many times..so many times I forgave you quietly, but I can’t do it anymore”
“What the hell do you mean?” She barked at you, “So you’re gonna break up with me? Because of some dumb things I did? God you’re impossible-“ The blonde shook her head “Stop it! For fuck’s sake stop it! That’s why I’ve been holding back, cause you always do this, I’m always the bad guy whilst you’re a martyr.” Your hands clutched your head “And dumb things? You cal treating me as if I didn’t exist dumb things? You stood me up, and the best part is this wasn’t the first time” It was clear Alexia was trying to come up with some cheeky answer, one that’d shut you up, but to no avail.
“This is the end” you said now more quietly, “I’m leaving, don’t contact me again” with that you made your way to your now past shared bedroom. Another minute spent in this goddamn place was going to drive you mad, so swiftly you grabbed your clothes and other belongings, not caring to fold them, just to get them into your bags. Alexia soon stormed in after you. “This is fucking crazy!” She yelled, “You can’t do this to me!” Her arms were swaying around, she was mad, furious even.
“You did much worse to me” you muttered “You don’t deserve to be mad at me Alexia”
As you grabbed your now packed bags you looked at her for the last time together, “Goodbye” and that was it, the end.
A few weeks had passed now, you bought yourself a flat since you sold your old one before moving in with Alexia. You recall breathing the fresh air, the wind blowing through your hair when you left Alexia, the world around you felt different, alone and freeing. Later a part of you was screaming at you that you chose the wrong option, but you couldn’t get back with Alexia, not after everything.
Years of a good relationship, and then years of a ruin that was your ‘love’. There was no denying that a small percentage of you, still loved her, but you couldn’t be with her if all you were going to get was a one-sided romance.
Alexia messaged you, one message that read ‘meet me at the pier, you know which one. 7pm, I’ll be there.”
You sighed internally, you were gonna give her one last chance to speak to you, whatever it is she wanted, all you knew was that there was no getting back ever again.
It was dark already, the sky turning into a deep navy blue transcending into black. As you walked down the wooden pier, some happy moments from your time together came flooding back. You knew this had to be the pier she wanted to see you at, and as you walked further down you could make out a woman’s figure in the distance, as you got closer you quickly recognised it was indeed Alexia.
She was leaning against the pier’s fence, looking into the deep blue sea, you stood next to her, glancing into the water as well
“What is it that you wanted to talk about?” You then asked, not looking back at her, and you could feel that she wasn’t observing you either. “Can’t we make this right?” She said after a minute “Alexia…” you sighed, “I told you”
“I can change, Y/n” she was still pleading for you to change your mind. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t believe you, we’re done, and that’s it. If we get back together either you or me are still gonna get hurt” You knew well that it was definitely you who was going to get hurt…but you weren’t here to talk about it, all you had wanted was to deliver the message clearly.
“Y/n..” she mumbled, “I’m sorry Alexia” you simply stated, “Have a good night.” You pushed yourself off the fence, walking off, towards the parking lot to your car. As you walked, you hadn’t looked back at Alexia.
You were better off not being together.
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millyh23 · 3 months ago
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Just a Scratch
Leah Williamson x Reader
word count:
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It was supposed to be a peaceful day. The kind of day that Y/N and Leah loved, filled with quiet drives and lighthearted conversations. After a week of intense training, both were looking forward to a bit of downtime. Leah had suggested a short road trip to the countryside, and Y/N couldn’t argue—spending the afternoon together, winding through the rolling hills and quiet roads, sounded perfect.
Leah had parked her car in the apartment’s underground garage, as she usually did, a spot meticulously chosen to ensure her car was out of harm’s way. Y/N, however, wasn’t used to this kind of care with a vehicle. In the past, she had always treated cars like just another mode of transportation, never really focusing on keeping them pristine. Leah, on the other hand, was a different story—her car was her baby.
Y/N didn’t want to mess up the vibe. She wanted to impress Leah, to show her that she could be just as careful. But as she backed the car into the tight garage space, something went horribly wrong. Her attention had been elsewhere, distracted by the morning's conversation with her teammates. She hadn’t noticed the trash can that had been left in the corner.
The moment she heard the screeching sound—metal against metal—her heart plummeted. Y/N winced, quickly putting the car in park and getting out. Her eyes immediately went to the side of the car, where a long, deep scratch ran across the door.
Her stomach churned. She knew Leah loved this car. She had heard Leah talk about it with so much pride, how she’d worked hard for it, how she maintained it like a precious gem. And now… Y/N had ruined it. In that moment, a thousand thoughts raced through her mind—what if Leah was furious? What if she couldn’t forgive this? What if this was the thing that broke them?
Her palms were sweaty as she ran her hands through her hair in distress. She’s going to hate me. She’s going to break up with me. She’ll never look at me the same way again.
When Leah came back from running errands, she was in a cheerful mood, humming softly as she entered the garage. Seeing Y/N standing near the car, she smiled, but the expression quickly faded as she noticed the tense posture of her girlfriend.
“Hey, babe,” Leah said with a warm smile, walking over to Y/N. “Everything okay?”
Y/N swallowed hard, feeling like her throat was closing up. She could already see the disappointment in Leah’s eyes, even though Leah hadn’t said anything yet. She could hear it in her own head, the sharp edge of anger Leah would surely direct her way.
Y/N took a shaky breath and spoke, her voice small. “Leah… I think I messed up.”
Leah’s smile faded into a look of concern. “What happened?” she asked gently, her eyes scanning Y/N’s face.
“I… I scratched your car,” Y/N muttered, voice barely above a whisper. “It’s… it’s pretty bad.”
Leah’s eyes flicked to the side of the car, inspecting the mark. Y/N immediately tensed up, bracing herself for the worst.
Leah didn’t say anything at first. Her brow furrowed slightly, but then, instead of the anger Y/N had feared, Leah took a deep breath and turned toward her, walking slowly.
Y/N couldn’t hold back anymore, and her words rushed out like a dam bursting. “I’m so sorry. I know you love this car. I didn’t mean to. I know it’s your baby, and I just… I didn’t think, and now it’s ruined, and—”
“Y/N,” Leah interrupted softly, taking Y/N’s hands in hers. “Stop.”
Y/N blinked, looking into Leah’s eyes, surprised by the calmness in her voice. Leah stepped closer, brushing a few strands of hair behind Y/N’s ear as she searched her eyes with a tenderness that took Y/N by surprise.
“Look at me, babe,” Leah said, her voice still soothing, yet firm. “I’m not mad. I’m not upset.”
“But it’s your car!” Y/N cried, still feeling the weight of guilt. “You love it, and now it’s… I scratched it, Leah. I’m such an idiot.”
Leah shook her head, a small, reassuring smile pulling at the corners of her lips. “It’s just a scratch, Y/N,” she said, her voice calm, almost amused by how worked up Y/N was. “It’s not the end of the world. I’m more worried about you.”
Y/N’s frown deepened, confused. “Worried about me?”
Leah nodded, taking a step closer, wrapping her arms around Y/N’s waist. “I can tell you’ve been stressed lately. You’ve had a lot on your mind, and I can see it. But you’re letting something small like this eat at you, and it’s breaking my heart to see you like this.”
Y/N’s shoulders slumped. “I just… I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me,” she admitted, her voice cracking. “I thought… I thought maybe you’d break up with me over something so stupid.”
Leah’s expression softened even more. She gently pulled Y/N into her arms, holding her tightly against her chest. “Don’t be silly,” Leah whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of Y/N’s head. “I could never break up with you over something like this. It’s just a car. We can fix it. But if you’re worried about anything, I want you to talk to me about it. Don’t bottle it up.”
Y/N melted into Leah’s embrace, feeling the comfort of her warmth, her steady presence. “I’m sorry, Leah. I didn’t mean to… I just freaked out.”
“Babe,” Leah murmured, brushing her fingers through Y/N’s hair, “I’m not mad at you. I’m just glad you’re okay. And I’m more concerned about your stress than I am about any scratch. We’ll fix it, together.”
Y/N looked up at her, her eyes slightly watery. “You’re really not mad?”
Leah smiled, leaning down to kiss Y/N softly on the lips, a gentle, lingering kiss. “Not at all. I love you, okay? And I love you more than anything, even if your parking skills need a little work,” she teased, trying to lighten the mood.
Y/N laughed quietly, wiping her eyes. “I love you, too. Thank you for being so… understanding. I don’t know why I thought you’d be so upset.”
“Because you’re a bit of a worrywart sometimes,” Leah grinned, her voice playful. “But that’s why you have me. To remind you that not everything is as big a deal as you make it out to be.”
Y/N smiled, finally feeling the weight lift off her shoulders. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Leah squeezed her tight, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “You’ll never have to find out. Now, how about we go inside, relax, and forget about the scratch for a bit? We have a whole afternoon ahead of us.”
Y/N nodded, the tension finally gone from her body. As they walked back into their apartment, Y/N felt a rush of love for Leah, for how she always knew just what to say, just how to make everything feel okay.
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The End.
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animeyanderelover · 3 months ago
Note
This will be my first request, I am very happy because I LOVE your writing.
Alas aside, Yandere falls in love with a woman older than them who is very maternal for having a child, when he proposes she rejects him because she feels that they should not waste themselves on a woman who already has a child (You can do with the father whatever you want ).It would be with Atsushi, Akutagawa, Daichi Sawamura, Oikawa and if you want to add any more I don't mind
Sorry for my bad english😘😘
Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional behavior, clinginess, manipulation, stalking, threats, violence
Tags: @shumidehiro @leveyani
You shouldn’t waste your time on me
Sawamura Daichi
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🌅​Cries of a small child are what guide him through the crowds on that day, his eyes flickering over the people before they finally land on the boy who is standing there all alone. Upon asking him what happened the child tells him that he got distracted and lost his mother. As not only a police officer but also a decent human being Daichi immediately helps, asks the boy where him and his mother were last together and if he knows where his mother planned to go. If worst comes to worst and he won't be able to find the boy's mother he'll just ask the boy where he lives and will bring hm home to wait together with him until his mom returns. Luckily it never comes that far as Daichi is able to find you after half an hour of searching, the boy instantly leaving his side and running to you with tears in his eyes. He's far too humble in your eyes as he is confronted with your gratefulness, tells you that he only did his job and that anyone would have helped a crying child. Still, you make some small talk with him as you ask for his name and both of you start talking for a while with each other. That's how he finds out that you recently moved to the Miyagi prefecture with your child and live close to his neighbourhood.
🌅​The fact that he doesn't live far away from you and that he helped your child are major reasons that aid the two of you in getting so close to each other. Also, your son's dream is it to work for the police later on so he obviously views Daichi as his hero, something that flusters the man deep down a lot more than he shows. He visits you once a week when he has a free day, often bombarded with questions from your son about his job until you softly chide your child for his uncontrolled excitement. You admit to him relatively early that you moved here because your husband died and your parents live nearby as you also need to work and need someone to look after your son. Hearing that your husband died strangely enough makes more sense to him than if someone would have divorced you as only an ignorant fool would have let someone like you go. Daichi is not even going to deny his own feelings, he knows that he's extremely attracted to you. You're kind yet not too coddling, you're responsible and patient, you listen to the worries of others and are always willing to help where you can. Watching you raising your son sometimes reminds him of his high school days, a fond look on his face.
🌅​Daichi is able to stay patient in spite of his obsession, especially if the loss of your husband has been very recent. He gives you time, he allows you to grieve and focuses in the meantime on helping you and your child to integrate into the new city. The thing is that he fills that role of a supportive husband and father so nicely that neighbours and even your own parents and son can't help but support the two of you getting together. When you reject him he is a bit disheartened but he takes it really well because he realises that you didn't do so because you do not love him. You reject him because you feel not good enough but that in itself is still quite hurtful. You're such a wonderful person after all. He doesn't mind the little age gap nor does he think of you less because you have a child. In fact he's grown very fond and protective of your son who you have raised wonderfully. Still, it's wiser to not pressure you so he steps back for now. His confidence remains though, knowing that you didn't deny not being able to see him as a partner. He'll just stay in your life as a pillar of support for now and will slowly make you realise that you are everything but a waste to him.
Oikawa Tooru
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👑​After a difficult divorce you make the decision to completely change your life and decide to try to reach for a dream you had when you were younger but gave up later on, deciding that you might not make it. It's better to try and fail then to never take the step. After many months of interviews, exchange of mails and documents you receive the news though. You did it. You're one of the managers for your favorite volleyball club, Club Athletico San Juan. You're so joyous, almost feel like a school girl all over again as you read the letter over and over again, kicking your feet and grinning like an idiot. Oikawa is still Oikawa even if he is by now an adult, his charming attitude still there as soon as you're introduced to the team as their new manager. His other teammates just watch with half amusement and half pity as Oikawa's charm ultimately never works. Sure, he manages to charm people quickly but he never manages to hold a relationship and they would hate for their setter and new manager to be on bad terms from the very start. You, with the divorce still freshly on your mind though, put your foot firmly down and clarify it to Oikawa very clearly that you have no intention of dating.
👑​Obviously Tooru is miffed about your blunt rejection yet another part of him can't help but respect your determination. You know what you want to focus on and he wants to acknowledge that, especially since he is essentially the same. The keyword here is want because who would have thought that his feelings would slip out of his grasp of control so quickly? You know when to put him and his childish antics in his place, chiding him almost as if he were a child and the experience feels only more realistic when he realises that you're a few years older than he is. The fact that you work so closely with him only enables him to be very overbearing as he dreams up all kinds of minor inconveniences so that he has something to complain about to have your attention on himself. Your daughter is a shocker as you have never talked about your private life before and whilst other players gush over your child he gives her a strange look at first, his mind trying to process what it could mean. He pesters you privately about it, his eyes desperate and his body tense. The tension leaves his body at least partially when you admit with a heavy sigh that you had a rough divorce before you started working here.
👑​Oikawa doesn't take the rejection very well, his heart dropping even though it doesn't have to do with the fact that you don't see him that way. Still, it is hard to stay logical with a heart as sensitive as his, especially since he is prone to being delusional. He just doesn't understand. What is it that he could have done better?? He has made it more than obvious that he is deeply in love with you. He's showered you in presents, constantly demands your attention and has even made the effort to get closer to your daughter despite initial caution he held. Is that still not enough?? What do you want him to do?? Please tell him what he as to do in order for you to accept. Honestly, your maternal instincts will come quite in handy as you're confronted with Tooru whilst his feelings threaten to burst out of him. Because it helps him to calm down and gives him the reassurance he so desperately craves from you in that moment. Nevertheless though, he ramps up his affection from a 10 to an 11 after that incident. If the problem is simply that you don't feel good enough he will change your mind. You're forgiven this one time. Do not reject him a second time though or else he might just make your job more difficult.
Nakajima Atsushi
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🐅​The gentle love of a parent is a notion so foreign to Atsushi that the first encounter he has with you leaves him almost on the edge. Your kind words, the patient look in your eyes, the warmth and comfort you provide him with by simply being in the room threatens to burst his heart right at the seams. After cold deprivation for as long as he can remember your presence feels like being drowned in a bathtub filled with hot water. It's overwhelming almost, scorches his skin yet he gladly submerges himself in the heat and the sensations that come with it. He's almost immediately infatuated with you, finds himself yearning for your affection in his dreams as well as in the real world. The age difference is something that weights on his soul though as he realises how experienced you are and how clumsy he seems to be in comparison. There's a lack of knowledge with certain machines or customs that he hasn't been exposed to due to his time in the orphanage but he is always too ashamed to tell you about it. Adamant to not let himself look like a young fool in front of you, Atsushi simply refuses to ask for help or advice from you. He wants to prove to you as well as himself that he can provide for you.
🐅​As shameful as it is, there is an undeniable twinge of jealousy directed against your own child. He envies the little boy for being able to cling to you as often as he does as those are all things Atsushi desperately wishes to do as well. He wants to be held, comforted and loved by you too but he could never admit such things as he stares at your son. What would you think of him after all if he were to confess to you that he feels jealous of your own child? It doesn't stop him from clenching his hands into fists every time he witnesses you giving affection to your son, nails turning into claws as he imagines what it would be like if he were to be the one in your child's position. You and your husband have parted ways a few years ago but you still keep in contact due to the child and that just about kills Atsushi. It takes always more willpower than it should to not outright growl at the man whenever he visits. Atsushi can't even fathom how a man could let someone like you go and occasionally he imagines what it would be like to just tear that man apart whenever his jealousy gets the better of him. Chances aren't exactly zero for Atsushi to confront your ex-lover and accidentally kill him during an argument.
🐅​The beast within him tries to tame itself as good as it can for you even if results are mixed. With time he grows closer to your child though he struggles to be a parent for the little boy as he more than once acts just as childish and needy. Still, he does his best to show you that he can protect and provide for you and your child all whilst seeking emotional comfort from you. It has taken him a good chunk of courage to finally confess to you only to be met with a direct blow to his heart. The shock of your rejection numbs him for a few seconds before the weight comes crushing down. He hyperventilates, he cries, he bites his bottom lip bloody and his nails threaten to rip through the skin of his palms. That is only because he does misunderstand your rejection as you telling him that you have no interest in him. Once he has come to understand that you didn't reject him for that reason hopefully he manages to calm down at least a bit. That means that he still has a chance, doesn't he? Still, he feels like it's his fault for not having made it clearer to you just how deeply infatuated he is with you. That has to change now. Hopefully some of his seniors can give him useful tips how to woo you.
Akutagawa Ryunosuke
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⬛​It is through Gin that Akutagawa finds out about you as his beneath the mask quite shy sister has befriended you and finds herself visiting your small shop once a week. Whilst he is anything but an overbearing brother this piece of information still manages to stick to him. It's the first time he has heard that Gin has made friends with someone outside the Mafia and initially he starts directing hostility against you. Akutagawa isn't an individual to trust easily as he distrusts with far more confidence and this is what he finds himself doing against you. Who are you? Are you really just a regular citizen? His sister assures him that you are not some spy nor does she plan to give you any information about the Port Mafia or her real identity but for Akutagawa actions speak louder than words. He finds himself stalking you occasionally, dark eyes trailing after you. A scoff appears on his face the moment he notices the boy following you, realising that you have a child. How naive you must be, keeping a child whilst involving yourself with a mafioso. If you really are just a normal person you must have no motherly senses at all or else you wouldn't hang out casually with Gin.
⬛​Akutagawa never had a mother who raised him as he has grown up in a violent environment from a very young ago. None of his mentor figures have ever given him even an ounce of affection which has led him to believe that love is a weakness. A weakness he has fallen victim to. A part of him itches to use Rashomon to tear you and that little brat apart yet he holds himself back. Partially because his emotions are messy and partially for his sister's sake as she cherishes you. It's Gin he turns to as his curiosity grows and it is through her he finds out most information about you. The most pressing issue for him is who the father of your son is and even if Gin tells him that you have parted with the guy long before your child was born that doesn't stop Akutagawa's urges to rip that man apart for his mere existence. Stalking you becomes quite difficult, his possessive side flaring up the moment you talk to another man and give him a smile. It's the horrified gaze of his sister that holds him back but that is no guarantee that it'll work every single time. Only to his sister is he able to admit his conflicting feelings to you and both of them know that it is only a question of time when you will find out.
⬛​Still, even if it comes that far Gin wishes for her brother to not terrorise and hurt you even with his obsession. She cares for Akutagawa but you're still her friend and she likes your child as well. She wants him to attempt to confess to you the normal way at least once and if you reject him she kind of knows that there's little she can do. Unable to live with herself if she wouldn't try though Gin introduces her brother to you who finds himself incredibly awkward as he is completely out of his comfort zone, easily irritated and with little patience, especially when your son is around. Big chance that Gin is lurking around in the distance when Akutagawa tries confessing, already looking like he is glaring at you. He honestly only knows what to do in case you reject him because you don't like him which is instantly doing what he can do best. Inflicting fear upon you whilst using Rashomon. He isn't prepared for you rejecting him because you think he shouldn't bother with you and is left so perplexed with that answer that he just stares at you for a good while. Ultimately this only delays the abduction though because it'll still happen. He's promised Gin to not harm your son though.
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struwberrii · 6 months ago
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can you do hq headcanons with an s/o who gets really emotional for small things? like cute cats, and ending to a movie, etc? idc who else is in it but one including kenma would be nice :)
emotional s/o ⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
sorry for getting to this so late!! i hope you guys like it though ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ also none of this is proofread so sorry in advance lol
you were sitting on the opposite side of the couch from your boyfriend, the both of you sitting in comfortable silence while doing whatever it was you were doing. you found yourself scrolling endlessly on instagram reels before you found a video of a fawn and a small child playing together on opposite sides of a backyard fence (yes, i have cried to this exact video bc of how cute it was) you couldn’t help but mumble a small “oh my gosh” under your breath before your free hand came to cover your mouth.
this small movement, however, caught your boyfriends attention. he looked up from his phone to see you, mouth covered, teary eyed and staring down at your phone. “what happened? you okay?” he asks scooting over to your side to hug you, assuming you had heard bad news or something.
you turned your phone to show him the video of the deer and baby and you swear that you caught him raising an eyebrow before he looked back at you.
“you’re crying over this?” he says, not breaking eye contact. instead of answering his semi rhetorical question, you looked down to your lap, feeling a bit embarrassed before you felt a cold hand tilt your chin back up to meet your boyfriends eyes, a smirk decorating his face now.
“everything you do is so cute, y’know that?” he brought his free hand to your cheek to wipe your tears for you before giving you a light yet caring peck on the forehead.
kenma, semi eita, osamu, suna, sugawara (9/10 he ends up crying with u LMAO) tsukishima, futakuchi, tendou (in a WAY more teasing tone than all the others) komori motoya, kunimi,
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gallavichsreddie1128 · 10 months ago
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Assistant (Homelander)
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Description: Y/N is Homelander’s assistant but he likes her just doesn’t know how to show it.
Warning: Smut, mention of killings, Violence
Word Count:1,986k
Being Homelander’s assistant was stressful for Y/N. He was a crazy dangerous man and anytime he was mad she had to deal with it. He would yell and scream at her about the dumbest things and she just sat there taking it, she gave no reaction which made him so mad. But what else did he want her to do? Yell back? She was afraid of him. I mean who wouldn’t be? He could kill her with a snap of his fingers. That thought alone terrified her. So she would take whatever he threw at her. She did everything for him but yet he seemed ungrateful.
He wasn’t though, he might appear that way; he really did appreciate everything she did for him. He just didn’t know how to show it. He noticed every time he would yell at her, her eyes widened like she was afraid and that she just stared at him waiting for the snap of his fingers or his eyes to turn red and kill her. He didn’t want to kill her or hurt her, he truly adored her. Homelander didn’t know how to handle these feelings so he took it out on her. He figured she wouldn’t want him given the look in her eyes every time he entered the room. He felt bad about yelling at her and making her scared but was super confused on why he felt that way. She truly thought he hated her guts which is why her jaw dropped when he came into her office with cookies. She looked up at him from her chair as he set the cookies on her desk. Her jaw dropped and she looked at him.
He had a small smile and said some of the most shocking words: “Thank-Thank you for e-everything you do for me.” He stutters out. That was hard for him to say to her. She nodded and gave a small “No problem.” He nodded and walked out of her office leaving her in shock. She thought for a second that it was poison but thought how stupid that would be when he could kill her in a second. She took one of the cookies and examined it. It looked to be a normal cookie. It smelled so good and wasn’t too soft or too hard. She took a bite out of it and moaned at how good it was. The cookie was a 10/10 and she took another bite chewing slowly to savor the taste.
She wanted to thank him again for the cookies. They were the best cookies she’s ever had. She walked into her office and saw him standing there already. His back was towards her and she stared at the cape he wore. He turned around moments after and smiled at her. “Hey, how'd you like the cookies?” He asked. “They were so good. I actually was going to find you later and thank you again.” She said. He walked up to her and his face dropped. “I’m glad but don’t expect it to happen again.” He said and walked out of the room. Her face dropped in confusion. What the actually fuck just happened? She thought. She shook her head and took a seat at her desk trying to forget what just happened. 
She stared at him as he yelled at her about her recent fuck up. She stopped trying to reason with him and tell him it was an accident or it truly wasn’t her fault. It was no use. He didn’t listen. “WHAT THE FUCK MAKES YOU THINK I WOULD LET A CRIPPLE IN THE 7?” He yelled. Oh right he also killed some poor kid. But sadly she was used to that. She saw it plenty of times before which is why she was so scared of him. But she learned to hide her emotions well. She looked down at the poor boy feeling like he got killed because of her. “Don’t look at him, look at me.” He said anger dripping from his voice. She was zoned out and didn’t. “Y/N look. At. me.” He said and she looked at him in horror. “You got anything you wanna say?” He asked her. She shook her head. “Really? No I’m sorry?” She opened her mouth as he looked at her waiting for the words. “I’m sorry.” She whispered. He nodded and huffed. “Fix this shit now.” He tells her and walks away. 
She cried in her office after that. Tears streaming down her face, her lips were wet with tears and her face beet red. She didn’t understand. One minute he’s giving her cookies and basically saying sorry and the next he’s screaming at her. She should have seen this coming. Homelander was an awful man. 
The next time he yelled at her she lost it. She held it back so many times that eventually she would snap and she did. Tears were streaming down her face as she, for the first time, she yelled back. “I do everything for you! Every little fucking thing you ask me to do, I do! And I don’t ever complain! And never not once have I gotten a thank you besides those cookies but right after you are mean to me.” She yelled. He looked at her in shock. She never yelled at him, not even when he got in her face before. She always just took it. He stared at her as tears streamed down her face. “What got nothing to say now?” She asked. He didn’t. She sighed and went to walk away but he grabbed her arm. She looked at him waiting for him to say something but instead he let go of her arm and let her walk away. 
She was packing up things in her office ready to quit. She wasn’t dealing with his shit anymore. She was over it. He walked in and noticed her packing up her stuff. “What are you doing?” He asked her. She jumped not realizing he was there. “I-I’m leaving.” She said. He walked closer to her. “What? No you’re not.” She turned towards him. “Yes I am.” He sighs. “You treat me like shit. I won’t put up with it anymore. You need to learn respect Homelander.” She tells him. “I can’t let you leave Y/N.” He tells her. “Then fucking kill me then.” She yelled tears streaming down her face again. “No. I won’t not when I..” But he couldn’t finish his sentence. The words wouldn’t come out. “Not when you what?” She asked. He shook his head. “Forget it.” He said. “Not when you what?” She asked again. “Not when I love you.” He yelled. The room fell silent besides both of them heavy breathing. “What?” She asked. She looked at him as he looked down. “I love you.” He whispered. She looked at him lost and confused. “You love me?” She asked as if she needed to hear it again to be sure. “Yes I do and I don’t know how to show it. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Except Stormfront but she was just like me. You’re not. You do everything for me and I shit on you. You deserve better than me but I can’t let you quit.” He says.
She slowly walks up to him noticing he had tears in his eyes. He refused to look at her until she cupped his cheek making him look at her. He looked at her and her eyes kept flickering to his lips. She leaned in slowly and he just watched. Her lips captured his in a sweet kiss. He slowly placed his arms around her pulling her closer. He kissed her back and they both fell into the kiss. She pulled away from the kiss out of breath. He looked at her and she rubbed his cheek. “Why did you kiss me?” He asked. She shrugged and chuckled. “Honestly, I don’t know but it felt right.” She said. He looked down at her lips and she bit hers. They both leaned in and kissed again. This time the kiss was more passionate than before. He picked her up and set her on the now empty desk. He pulled away from the kiss and moved to her neck. His lips softly sucked and bit at the skin making her let out a breathy moan. Her head falls to the other side giving him more access. He moved down to her collarbone. “John.” She moaned. He pulled away fast at the name. She never called him that, not even out of anger.
She thought she fucked up by calling him that when he pulled away. “I’m sorry I didn’t-” but his lips cut her off. His hands started unbuttoning her blouse she pulled it off and unclipped her bra letting it fall off her. His hands went back to her boobs and fondled them. She gasped in his mouth letting him slip in his tongue. She ran her hands down his suit to his bulge. He groaned at the feeling of her rubbing him. “How do you take this thing off?” She asked into his mouth. “I don’t.” He says and manages to pull out his dick. She gasped at the size of him. He was huge but why wouldn’t he be? He’s a supe. He smirked at her reaction and unzipped her jeans. She bucked her hips and let him pull them along with her wet panties down and off her. “Please John.” She begged as she was now bare before him. He lined himself up with her entrance and shoved himself inside of her. She gasped and screeched as he didn’t really let her adjust to him. His hips pounding away. Her hands wrapped around his neck and his placed on her hips. The desk below was moving against the floor as his pace didn’t slow. “John.” She moaned loudly. “Fuck I love it when you call me that.” He growled and leaned down and bit her neck some.
She moaned and pulled him impossibly closer. Her head fell back and her noises got louder. His muffled into her neck. She felt the knot in her stomach tighten as he was pounding into her hitting her cervix. He had to keep in mind that she was human and not a Supe. He groaned as her walls fluttered and clenched around him. “Shit I’m close.” She whined. Her jaw dropped and her breathing turned into panting. He pulled back from her neck to watch her fall apart. He watched as her eyes rolled back into her head, moans and wails coming out of her mouth. Her orgasm hit her like a truck making her body shake all over.
He came after her with a groan of her name. She moaned as she felt him fill her up. Both of them panting and gasping for air. She looked at him with tired eyes and gave him a tired smile. He smiled back and pulled out of her making them both moan at the loss of contact. He couldn’t believe he just fucked his assistant on her desk. The woman he loved. “Wow I can’t believe I walked into this building ready to quit just to be fucked by my boss on my desk.” She joked. He looked at her and shook his head with a laugh. “The fact that you think I would let you leave.” He said. She rolled her eyes and got down from the desk. “If you wanna keep me around you have to be nicer to me.” She tells him. “I think I was pretty nice to you not even 5 minutes ago.” He says. “That’s not what I mean.” She says. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. “You get what you get with me.” He says and she huffs and pulls him in for a kiss.
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inbabylontheywept · 5 months ago
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how did you get married? how did you recover from the minion halloween and be able to look another human in the eyes? i could never i would wilt like a deflated wacky wavy balloon guy dipped in soy sauce then left in the nevadan summer
i think you're underestimating how tough you are. you probably haven't had a day quite as shit as the minion incident yet, and that's great, but the unfortunate thing i'm gonna tell you is that one day you will have a day that's worse. so much worse. one day, you will wake up, and you'll be going about your business, and you get a call only to learn that someone died.
the first time you get that call, it'll probably be a grandparent. and you'll get one or two, three tops more of those, and you'll think you're getting the hang of things, and then it will be your parents. then after that, and i am so sorry to hit you with this, it will be your siblings, or your spouse, or your friends. each round will feel like it killed you, and it won't be until the next that you realized the one before was a warning shot.
any one of those by itself is going to make the minion incident feel like the highschool shit that it was, and each time that happens, you're going to keep on living. you'll have a few weeks to grieve, but when it's done, you'll still have to go to work, and cook your own meals, and clean your own house. you'll still be alive. and maybe that's all you'll be for a while - alive - but you'll find ways to become more than that. you'll be up to your eyes with grief, and your coworker will stop you one day and just give you a hug, and you'll take it, because for once in your life you won’t be too proud to let someone care. or you'll be in your apartment, going to grab your mail, and your neighbor will be out there, and they'll wave to you a little, and maybe you never talked to them before, but you’ll have your chance to talk to them then. and you'll take it, because fuck, nothing makes you realize how much you have left to lose quite like loss.
i got married because the minion incident didn't destroy me. people don't get destroyed that often. if almost every makes it through burying their parents, then almost everyone could also survive showing up to a bootycall in yellow bodypaint and overalls. and yes, it was embarrassing, but the sun rose the next day, and i got up, and i brushed my teeth, and i went to school, and i cried a little at lunch when i told my academic decathlon friends about it, and they told me it wasn't my fault, and i told them that i knew that, it just sucked anyway. and they got it. and then the day after that was easier. and the day after that, easier still. and occasionally bad things happened, but even afterwards, life carried on. eventually, i graduated highschool. i went to college. i kept meeting interesting and kind people. i met my wife, and she was both, and i couldn't help but fall in love with her.
i got a little head start on seeing the way life goes on after a disaster, but not by much. i'm going to live through worse. you're going to live through worse. and every time the world ends, we're gonna wake up the day after, wash off the emotional vomit, and keep moving forward.
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hannieehaee · 3 months ago
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hi! who in svt would be more likely to be a camboy as a side gig/job? i feel like maybe seungkwan cause we all know he feels comfortable in front of the camera and is great at knowing what the public wants, or mingyu cause he loves showing himself off🤭 i initially thought about wonwoo cause he does gaming streams but he’s wayyyy to shy i feel like he would rather keep his intimate time private.
i don’t remember if i already asked this sorry if i alr did!
18+ / mdi
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content: camboy!seungkwan, smut, masturbation (m receiving), no x reader but you can assume the chatter is reader, etc.
wc: 710
a/n: i can imagine both but seungkwan's just such a natural entertainer i had to pick him hehe
masterlist
lovergirl98: take the top off baby !!!
- tip: $25
"oh? this thing? but i picked it out just for you. want it off that bad? what does everyone else think? should i take it off?", seungkwan used his index finger to tease at the strap of his tank top, lowering it a bit to expose his shoulder to the audience.
his words combined by his actions caused an immediate flurry in the chat, having it fill up with various comments parroting the original request and even throwing in more money into the fire to ensure it happened. seungkwan chuckled at the insistence, biting his lip at how easy it was to get his viewers fired up.
within seconds, the top was thrown across the room, leaving him in just his boxers as he leaned back on the headboard of his bed.
even more comments showed up, with some begging him to do the same to his boxers while others tried to convince him to play with his nipples.
both orders were promptly followed after a little more teasing from seungkwan, tsk'ing at his chat for being so needy.
"oh ... looks like there's nothing else to take off," he pouted, "what do my needy kittens want now? should i ... play with my cock? is that what you want?"
lovergirl98: wanna see u cum, pretty. gimme a show?
- tip: $50
"lovergirl ... someone's a bit desperate today, huh? this is your fifth tip today. might have to give you a private show for that," he winked before letting his hand go further south, enveloping his swollen hardness with a hiss.
he knew that such comments would get other of his viewers to follow in your path and donate more. seungkwan was already familiar with your username, and he had a lot of fun paying extra attention to your comments. he couldnt help being an appreciative man for all your support.
seungkwan continued to caress himself, starting off with a soft and slow pace and increasing as more comments popped up in encouragement for him to go harder, go faster. kwan drank it all in, using his other hand to occasionally palm at his balls or caress at his bare chest.
lovergirl98: sooo pretty. gonna make me cum with u
- tip: $20
"yeah? wish i could see, pretty," he cried out in the midst of his upcoming high.
he teased himself a few times, getting himself to his high yet stopping right before actually orgasming. meanwhile, he continued to mutter dirty words to his viewers, earning himself rewards for giving them a show of his not-so private pleasure.
"f-fuck, gonna cum. i ... shit, it's so good, fuck. wish you were here to ... to take it for me," he mewled, playing it up a bit for whichever viewer wanted to take claim of him.
and luckily enough, at least ten people donated right at that moment, all in differing amounts and all sharing similar sentiments of wanting seungkwan's spunk either in their mouths or in other parts of their body.
maybe it was a little egotistical of him, but such desperate displays of need for him were enough to finally make him finish. he could see himself in the view finder, looking at the same view his fans had of him as he squirted his cum all over his stomach.
after that, heavy breaths filled the room, occasionally interrupted by pings indicating even more donations from his subscribers.
"hmm, you were so good for me. look at the mess you made me do," he chuckled as he looked through his comments one last time, too exhausted due to the overstimulation he'd inflicted onto himself.
with that, he closed the tab, deciding to put an end to the stream before he fell in another rabbit hole of an orgasm. but even then, private messages popped up, with endless offers of a private show in exchange of heftier donations than usual.
lovergirl was there as per usual, making seungkwan chuckle at the insistence. it was endearing, he had to admit. he considered for a bit, but decided to put it in the back burner before heading over to the bathroom to wash himself up. a smile of satisfaction remained on his face in the meantime.
maybe next time.
a/n: this was different since it wasn't very member x reader but i hope u guys enjoyed anyways!
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