#care BUT NO YOU DO NOT LMFAO how many times have I almost went to hospital yet YOU BRUSH IT ASIDE AS IF IM OVER EXAGGERATING !!!!!!!!

[solar4seekstron]

Before and So Forth Chapter One:

Transformers One x Cybertronian!GN!Reader

TransformersOne!Megatronus x Cybertronian!GN!reader (Bit of Starscream x reader- kinda)

Chapter One: Megatronus

Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five,

Trigger warning: 16+???, Megatronus and Starscream want you, Sentinel eventually. Nonconsensual touching at first…I think that’s it 030

(This is going to be a long one. The story takes place before the events when Sentinel kills the primes and all th High Gaurd have to hide and plan to destroy sentinel. In this story because I enjoy tat sort of yandereish crap I wanted to make it x reader where everyone basically wants that reader cake lmfao. But not in an extreme way. There isn’t many females but I can add a few if so requested. I’m not sure about Solus Prime but I‘ll talk about that at the end. For now it’s mostly Megatronus, Starscream, Soundwave Shockwave, and Sentinel. I’d love to add more females I swear. My DM’s are a safe place if you wish to request any females. Or other males. I’ll do my best.

The plan is once it comes to the death of the Primes. (Weirdly excited to write how that’ll go) I’m going to give myself more work and write different path for the reader like if she doesn’t know what happened and Sentinel lies to them or the reader does know and hides with the high guard. Eventually with the sentinel timeline the reader ends up with Megatronus cause of course. It’s going to be a long one so please be patent….like with this chapter lol.

This chapter won’t have smut but it is spicy. Close to the end. If you don’t like don’t read this page and account is only for people who enjoy these to come to . Dont bully or harass anyone and leave.

Anyway my loves please enjoy and I shall release Chapter two next week. So every Tuesday :D)

Being a part of the High Guard who fought alongside and for the Primes.

Have always been something you felt pride but at the same time almost guilty for. As time in the years went by you began to wonder if you’re even a true part since there were so many others above and even better than you.

Such as Starscream, Shockwave, and Soundwave. You were a jet. Someone who seeks and plays as a scout most times.

You did the Quintessons hunt most of the time. Sort of gaining a reputation with the others even the ones who didn’t know you that well.

You were in some ways close to Megatronus Prime along with Starscream, Shockwave, and Soundwave. Megartronus like the other primes would have his own little group of the high guard.

All from his own picking and hopes to have them join him in his deception cause for the far future after the war was over.

Much like how the other primes have their own group of the high guard.

You always had a smile and softness in your voice. And yet you always showed time again and again of your strength.

Along with how you always executed your missions as you often enjoyed either sparring or training by yourself before and after. These brought you joy even as others didn’t understand. You also knew of sentinel but wasn’t that close to him.

You two know each other mostly on speaking terms and after the past cycles as you two continued to work for the primes. He always kept trying to get you to be his. Believing someone “easy” and so “strong” should stay by his side. And not with others who disrespect him.

A guard who uses swords that resides on your side and on your back. You were almost as tall as Starscream. Being a couple inches shorter.

Over time there was a sort of rumor going around. That Megatronus and Solus Prime were currently courting each other but were trying to keep it professional. You didn’t pay much mind to this as although you care for both deeply as they are who you follow.

That feeling of a sort of affection and even lust was something that you know should be buried and kept to yourself. You admired Megatronus as a leader besides Zeta Prime. Same thing to the trio but you never felt the same with sentinel.

At times you and other High Guards would train with Megatronus. Though you notice you were at every meeting and Megatronus seems to enjoy sparring with you most.

One morning as you walked from your recharge. You head to the training area believing you’ll see the other High Guard as you make your way. Once you entered you were greeted by the others as a few have already started training.

Starscream was standing watching the others train as he had a stern look on his voice. Once he noticed you his almost frown turned into a smile. he then greeted you with open arms

”Ah, Y/N glad you can join us. As always, I would appreciate it if you would come early.” You would chuckle and put your hands on your hips as you stand next to him

”Sorry Starscream, but I try to enjoy any amount of time to recharge I can get. My backstrut has been killing me lately.” Starscream would hum and sets his hand on your waist, pulling you a bit closer as his other one rests on his own hip.

”You and me both. All part of being in the high guard. But at least we have you instead of these slow seekers who just keep WASTING MY TIME!”

”Starscream when did we talk about?”

”That energon is meant to eat not to shove down someones-“

”The other thing!”

”Don’t bully other High Guard just cause they’re not as good as me..” He rolls his eyes

”Starscream!”

”To be nice! Ok ok must you scold me every time?” You nod and and put your hand on his shoulder. You two continue to watch the other do their training

After a few mega cycles over the direct private comm was Soundwave reaching you. You then excuse yourself as you walk out. Starscream already sparring 3 v 1 as he yells at them to do better. As you walked out answering within 3 seconds

“Soundwave?”

”Y/N. Needed at Megatronus training quarters.”

”Affirmative.” The call then ends and you make your way over to Megatronus training quarters.

He makes his way to the room. Soon seeing that you were alone. You look around as you look deeper and a begin to wonder where the Prime was.

As you were about to turn around the door you came through then opens showing Megatronus walking in. He stands to be very tall as he towers over you his hand resting on the door frame as he stared down at you. He then speaks, his voice deep and almost roaring as he finally spoke to you.

”More early then I expected. I only hope the others will start taking your lead.”

He finally passes you as you had bowed your head. Your arm and hand over your chest to show respect.

”My Prime-“

”Haven’t I told you, you mustn’t be so formal around me when we’re alone. I thought we were friends.” You two were sort of friends in secret. He respects you as a companion in battle. At least that’s how far you believe his affections is towards you.

”My apologies, Megatronus.” You look down your arm still over your chest. But Megatronus only glances at you as he then puts his spear down and does a few arm stretches. You stand there unsure of the others if they were to join anytime soon

”Remember what I taught you when thundercracker was able to hold you down after an hour long fight?”

”Don’t forget ones weak point around the arm?”

”Yes..I soon found after my last battle with those Quintissons basterds that the same is almost the same with them but it’s with those mouths. Pull at the outer armor hard enough.”

”Uh.. Sir?”

”I wish for you to try your best to defeat me Y/N.”

“So the others?”

”Won’t be joining us. You’ll be at a disadvantage with the large size of the creatures. You know this.” He walked up to you. Staring down at you.

You only stare up at him and just nod your head.

Looking away before backing up to put your swords down. You can feel Megatronus eyes on you. Once you turned around he was soon throwing a punch at you.

You were able to dodge it sort fo flying to the side and quickly grabbing his fast lifting up your body to use your legs to kick the side of his head. You can hear him frown as you then push yourself up on his arm and land on his back. Getting on your arms and pushing yourself far behind him as he turns and look at you in a fast motion.

When he charges at you, you only got on fours moving in a quick motion to left and right dodging his punches as he stands over you.

He was close to fully grabbing your waist. But using you body strength to move yourself. Grabbing his arm with both hands you turned youself upside down your legs landing on his arm.

Then jumping up high so you’re over him about to kick him over the head until he catches your leg.

”Had enough?” He asks his voice booming

”Not even close.” You respond as he then throws you into the ground. But you were fast on your arms and feet again.

Taking in the impact. Something you grew use to whenever you trained under him. A couple mega-cycles go by as you and he keep at it. He was able to throw in a few good punches into you as you did as well. Though he did put in a bit more blows but seems to always avoid your head

Then before you know it your shift for the evening to midnight was in one mega cycle. He had you pinned down by your chest as you tried to catch your breath. He was over you almost out of breath as well

”As always you’re the only one who can get as much of a punch in me as the other Primes. Maybe there’s a Prime in your spark….after all.” You two stay silent for a little while longer until you let out a small sigh

”I should…start heading for my lunch before my shift….Megtraonus..” he seemed almost disappointed. Though it was hard to tell with his mask. But you can see he narrrowed his eyes and leaned down

”Tell me….” He said in almost a whisper. His mask only inches away from your face as he glared

”Do you believe that silly rumor…Of me courting Solus.”

”It’s not my place to care and worry of such things-

“I’ve seen the way you looked at me Y/N. And that ridicules could not be more false…” He uses the hand that was on your chest to move to you face gently cupping the side of your face

”And yet you still said nothing. Do you truly fear me for being a Prime?” You shake you head

”No I-“

”Silence.” He put his thumb over your eyes. You put your hands on his arm only to hear him remove his mask. You then stop. He leaned his head down to be right next to yours as you then feel his breath on your neck

”Megatronus?-“ You’re startled as you feel his lips on your shoulder. You try your best not to move but also wondered if you can even stop him. He kisses your neck slowly making his way past your jaw to your lips. Before he touches you lips he stops for a moment

”Megatronu-“ He interrupts you. Kissing your lips finally as his other hand rests wrapping almost around your waist.

His thumb gently rubbing over your chest. You took note he was very gently givin his large size. Basically covering you with his body as he continues to press kisses on your lips.

You tried your best to not return the kiss but when he gently squeezed his hand around your waist you gave in leaning up closer to return the kiss. He smirks carrying out the kiss.

You the get a direct comm from Soundwave as you tried you best to gain your self control. Your hands gently squeezing his arm. The one that has his hand over your eyes. When you tried to turn your head and even back with the little space you have.

His hand over your eyes only stay firm to keep you in place. Your hands find their self on his chest. He stops lifting his head a little but only a few inches.

”Megatronus I must meet Soundwave. A-and this. We shouldn’t- I- I can’t-“

”You deny my affections, Y/N?“

”No Megatronus I-“

”Will you allow me to court you.”

”Sir-”

”Answer your Prime. If you so deny me..” You struggle with your words. His lips then touching yours once more. This even more passionate in a way. After a moment he pulls away using the hand that rested on your waist to put his mask back on

”Quite lovely. Waited over centuries to finally have you in my hands Y/N. Tell me do you regret our moment. Are the feelings to show daily not so how you feel? Do you not feel these “affections” towards Your Prime.” He removed his hand from ver you eyes as he helps you up.. Him now kneeling as he looked down at you

”…..I do..But it’s not my place to-“

“I shall see you on our next training. Oh and don’t forget.” One of his hands rested around your waist. Bringing you a bit closer

”This stays between us. Although in secret. I shall court you and make you one as a Prime. My word is Truth.”

You just stare up at him. You nod slowly and try to pull away a bit. But he kept his firm grip until he eventually lets go. Letting you go. You bow your head and make your way to retrieve your swords.

Once at the door you look at him. His back to you as only his head was side ways. Glancing at you. You bow your head once more then walk out the door closing behind you.

You then make your way to Soundwave your fists clenching as you scold and continue to overthink what just happened. he was right you loved it and wished for it before. But you wished for it with your other closest friends.

But you disciplined yourself for centuries and now that one of your friends, no your Prime Megatronus has made this move and revealing of his feelings towards you. You start to feel your heart racing. What are you to do if he does make you a prime.

What about your friends. Is he really this attracted to you or is he just using you because of his power. Could he just be doing this to any other High Guard. You stop for a moment knowing you’re alone and let out a breath

”He’ll get bored…..soon enough..” You continue to walk making your way to Soundwave. On 40 minutes (Not sure what the transformers word for minutes is sorry) until your next mission.

Yay first chapter! I swear my writing will get better. I definitely missed something or messed up somewhere. Hope y’all enjoyed it. There will be smut soon. Be patient my dears. NOW REQUESTS!!!!

I also take requests in my DMs. Have a good Morning/Afternoon/Night!

[alxxbee]

Ok, I just saw your redesign of Lucifer for the 2P AU you did and I honestly like it a bit better than in the show, he actually feels prideful here since purple is in fact the biblically accurate color of Pride! :D

Also making him a brunette and adding bright blues (a biblically accurate color of Sloth) as accents was a nice choice :) and the golden eyeshadow! :)

But does he still rule Hell in the AU with Alastor coming from Heaven? And what's the latter's role IN Heaven?

(I’m actually not very familiar with 2P lore if there really even is one but i’ll try))

((i also haven’t rewatched the show since it literally came out i maybe have forgor about like many things LMFAO))

(this also got deleted like twice and i’m pissed for rewriting this again)

(anyways here’s 2P Lucifer in my own interpretation)

2P Luci thrives in being alone, finding comfort and strength in it rather than misery. He doesn’t mind ruling Hell on his own. He doesn’t need anybody and doesn’t want anybody. His relationship with 2P Lilith has broken apart completely, due to their different views on redemption and the treatment of sinners. 2P Lilith is tricky since we know almost nothing of her, but i believe that she harbors a deep disdain for Hell and rejects the idea of controlling sinners for personal gain

BUUUUT something that has been in my mind recently is how he is essentially the embodiment of Pride.. but since 2P is (technically) the opposite of something (an inversion) The opposite of pride would be HUMILITY. Instead of making him a sad, insecure ruler, ..I’d like to think he thrives on human’s insecurities, fear, humiliation and self-doubt instead.. (rather than in the show he puts ON a prideful face when in reality he’s quite timid and socially awkward))

His relationship with 2PAlastor is quite decent (2P radioapple 🙂‍↕️) they still bicker but not in a hateful way like they do in the show, lighthearted jokes and banter, reflecting a mutual respect. (Lucifer knows how sensitive 2P Al is, and despite flourishing in humans despair and emotions, He has a soft spot for 2P Al.) ..Oh and they do not try to win over Charlie’s affection, ((2P Charlie actually does not really gaf about them XD))

Does not care for Heaven.. maybe even hates. but is not emotionally affected by his fall, I don’t know if Lucifer actually misses Heaven in the show, we can see how deeply affected he still is by their rejection of his creativity.

so i guess id like to think instead of him feeling hurt or betrayed(?), he feels somewhat thankful. Thankful that he was able to flourish in HIS ideas at last, finally seeing the evil of the world like he intended to.. destroying the order Heaven worked hard to maintain. Maybe he wanted Eve to bite the apple because he WANTED evil to come and corrupt the world, He knew what came with free will. He was a rebellious angel who went against Heaven in every way, intentionally with malice. Implying that Lucifer does not regret his role in giving sinners free will. He also cares for his sinners but not in a good way, more like he wants as many as possible so he could one day potentially top over heaven in power. A power hungry bastard.

He is serious, and a realist. NOT goofy and silly lmao. (Though he has goofy moments i shall not strip him of his whimsical fun entirely)

2P Lucifer and Original Lucifer share some similar qualities aswell. Something Both 2P Luce and Original Luce have in common is that they love Charlie.. and will protect her at all costs. Luci actually maintains a positive relationship with his daughter, He is close with her and tries to be in her life like a good father should, but 2P Charlie doesn’t usually give him the time of day. although she can be quite mean, and not the bubbly type at all like she is in the show, she still loves her father to a certain extent.

Again, we don’t really know much about the characters and the family’s history in the show.. And until we do, everything i said could be changed completely!! Like i said this is something for fun!! I haven’t really been thinking much about this AU, i designed him as a silly redraw but if i ever in the future add more details to his lore i will 🫶

Oh and as for the relationship with Original Alastor and 2P Luci…

Ok that’s all idk i don’t write for a reason 💀💀💀 💔

[kavehater]

She honestly doesn’t do much to make me like her more I swear to God !!!!

Chat is it unnatural to hate your friend 💃

[unknownperson246]

love please do a part 2 for sociopath(the izzy fic) i'm begging you 🥺

Hii I hope you enjoy it I added plot twists lmfao

Part 1

Sociopath Part 2:

words: 744

warnings: *angst* *plot twists* *cussing* *izzy being cold to reader* *mentions of drugs and using drugs* *plot twist is a surprise* *anger*

✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ:*

It has been a few weeks since Izzy left the house after the argument that occurred while you both were in the middle of making love. It turns out all the stuff you said about him being a sociopath was true and you had no idea about it whatsoever. He was a diagnosed sociopath. He always had hidden it from everyone around him for his personal gain. You were so worried about him after he left the house. You waited days for him to come back until one day he did come back. You were glad he was back but you were so upset about that night. You went up to him crying. You hugged him. He pushed you away and sat on the couch.

“Izzy, what is wrong with you? You're scaring me!” You begged for him to talk to you.

“Please talk to me. Tell me what is wrong. I love you and you don’t even talk to me!” You start crying more. 

“Me being with you is wrong.” He mutters.

“What was that?” You ask sniffling and not hearing what he said under his breath.

“Nothing. I’m just tired, okay?” He says picking himself off of the couch and going to the bed.

You follow him to the bed. You want to take a nap with him so you change into your silky white nightgown. You hug him trying to whisper sweet things in his ear to help him calm down. He pushes you away and you get upset. You turned around on the bed. Suddenly you felt sick to your stomach. You rush to the toilet to puke. You were a former heroin addict. You picked the habit from Izzy. You had quit ever since he left the house for a while because he took it all with him. All the withdrawals were almost over. By the time you got up from puking, you felt so cold and you were shivering. You got to bed and you covered yourself in the blanket you and Izzy shared. Izzy turned around looking at you after you got in bed again.

“What's wrong?” Izzy asked.

“Don’t get mad okay?” You told him. 

“I used to use some of your heroin and I got heavy withdrawals from it,” You say looking down because you were ashamed. 

“Well that’s not good for the baby,” He said, holding and rubbing your belly, realizing he accidentally slipped up.

“The baby? What baby?” You asked confused.

It all made sense to you now. You started to sob at the realization. Izzy had been cheating on you and he got another woman pregnant. He forgot that he wasn't at her place anymore. It was just a habit for him. He doesnt seem to care either. You realized that he was using you as a toy. You didnt know how many more girlfriends he had. In fact, he could have a wife and kids for all you knew. You just watch him sit there in silence. You turned around on the bed sobbing and not saying anything. You felt his hand gently stroking your shoulder but you shoved it away. You felt the front part of his body leaning against your back. You got up and had enough of him.

“I can’t believe I ever loved you” You finally stop sobbing.

“Get out of my fucking house” You yell. “Woah what are you talking about?” He says confused.

“Fuck” You yell.

He shows you papers with your name on them. “See these right here? You showed them to me a couple of weeks ago when I left. You're pregnant.” He says.

You grab the paper not believing him. You skim through it and find out he is right. Your mind was so fogged up that you forgot you were even pregnant. “When did I show you these?” You asked him, forgetting he already answered your question.

“When I left,” He said calmly. 

You were so confused. “I can’t be pregnant” You chuckle.

“You are,” Izzy said, pulling out ultrasound pictures you both went for the other day.

“When did this happen?” You ask Izzy.

“Like yesterday. Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yeah I’m fine” You lay down again facing the other way.

“You sure you stopped using it when I left?” He asked you.

“Yeah. Maybe it was the withdrawals messing with me” You say falling asleep. You feel Izzy stroking your hair and kissing your neck and shoulder.

[crushedsweets]

Who are the people that Toby likes the most?

Natalie, Jack, and Ben!

Toby has known Natalie for about 5 years, and Jack for 4, and Ben for 3. ok now im gonna do long ass headcanons for their relationships bc im just soooooooo silly . .

toby and natalie knew eachother when they were at the height of like.. using murder as a relief/power trip. it was a really sick and fucked up thing to bond over, and it wasnt something either of them took lightly or as a joke. but it was something they did talk about, moreso 'let me tell you about my night' and they'd kinda just allude to the murder part of it. eventually, natalie stopped killing as much (and stuck strictly to freak weirdo men at bars/clubs who try taking advantage of ppl). toby doesn't have the luxury to stop bc he only did it when the situation/order calls for it.

they usually just lounge around together. watch trash reality tv, natalie was ashamed of her art for a while but toby loves getting her to show him her stuff. toby taught her how to axe throw and cut down trees. he helped fix up the barn she stays in so it's actually livable. he even got brian to help with shit like insulation cuz theres no heat/ac in it. sometimes he does her hair if shes having an awful night. she never had someone to brush her hair growing up, having no mother/sister/girl friends, and finds it to be insanely fucking relaxing. lulls her to sleep so quick. it reminds toby of lyra and he cried one time after she fell asleep from it. she never found out about it.

toby was the first proxy to be nice to jack. not that tim and brian were horrible to jack (only after he was . . 'tamed' i guess). but toby was the first one to like, bring him things, talk to him, actually attempt bonding. if tobys feeling lonely and natalies not in the mood to entertain, jack was almost always welcoming. ok maybe not welcoming in the like :) hiiii toby. way. but in the. 'ok yea whatever come in i guess' way.

jack used to cook a lot before he was sacrificed. now he doesnt have the same taste buds, and while he can eat human food, its all pretty bland to him. best he can enjoy is insanely spicy stuff, and thats more sensation rather than flavor. BUT TOBY. that fucking dude can EAT. he's brought like a fat steak and veggies and rice and random shit to jacks and asked him to make him dinner. and oddly enough jack was willing to do it. toby continued to do that stuff. jack didnt know about tobys CIPA for a while and was baffled when this white boy from rural colorado could actually handle the spice anytime jack made south asian food LOL.. ("how much spice do you want" "i dont care make it as spicy as you like" "toby are you sure of this" "yeah i can take it").

of the 3, toby is the least close to ben. mostly bc ben is best fucking friends w jeff and toby doesnt like jeff very much(who does?). plus toby figured ben was like a kid and wasnt exactly crazy about being besties with a 12 yr old. But then ben played some video games with him. ben doesnt really Act like an. ipad fortnite tiktok middle shcool type of kid so toby was like Oh he's cool i guess.!

they dont have much in common at all tbh, didnt have similar childhoods and toby didnt play many video games growing up. BUT toby finds so much joy in just having a fucking boyish childish fun stupid relationship where he could play video games and talk shit and eat like crap with yk. they have a very brotherly friendship and it's kinda weird for toby being on the big sibling side of something, but he's fond of it. they get into petty arguments about stupid shit, and went a while without talking bc toby punched jeff and jeff was bitching like 'uumm dont hang out with that prick' and ben was like lmfao ok. toby didnt even realize ben wasnt talking to him tho. . ("hey sorry i was avoiding u jeff was bitching" "u were avoiding me ?????")

[ambrosialdesire]

it was reiner’s blood right… i’m assuming reiner said sum to bert abt how he needs to stop being a weirdo!!! and buddy did not like that?!?! - 🎀

YUP got it right on the nose!

warning for violence and gory descriptions!!!

so during the reader and reiner interaction in both the beginning and before the end, bertolt was actually outside his house the entire time LMFAO he was looking in the window and saw reiner lean into the reader, bro's delusional mind saw it as a kiss and went a little bonkers about it. in the afternoon the day after this talk (aka the day where reader comes home and sees him jorkin it on her bed), bertolt got invited into reiner's house and they started talking about it. reiner wasn't in the office bc he really was supposed to prepare for another fight, so was bert but he was more or less preparing to confront reiner.

i think that although reiner partially was pushing the reader to be with bert since he was trying to be a wingman for his bestie, he didn't want her to get hurt by him since he also cares about her since they've known each other since the scout days. also i think he's just a little bit more sane than bertolt so they argue, he's telling him he's going too far and that reader is getting creeped out by him, that she might leave the unit bc of his behavior (which ngl, kinda funny for him to be saying all that when in my other stories, reiner's the crazy one). bertolt refutes that he's just making sure she's safe, just a whole bunch of excuses for being a creep and why it's not his fault that she's the one that's taking it the wrong way.

then reiner brings up the fact that he's been breaking in and taking her stuff, specifically her undergarments, and that he's lucky that he hasn't said anything about it to the reader because he still wants to protect bert. bertolt mentions that he's doing an awful job of that since he's the one that just kissed her in front of him and putting these ideas in her head. reiner's like bro tf???? no i didn't???? maybe i do have to report you to magath jfc what's wrong with you? and that just makes him snap cause ain't no way he's gonna be separated from you for another long period of time again so they start brawling.

shit gets real crazy like they're clawing at each other, biting, anything to be the winner of this fight even if it has them ripping each other limb from limb. surprisingly, they're still sane enough to not transform despite the many chances for them to do so. i think once bertolt managed to rip reiner's abdomen open, it was obvious who the winner was so the two of them finally come to a stop. the major injuries on reiner knock him tf OUT like, he's gonna be out of commission for a good month.

bertolt is just sitting there, almost completely frozen as he stared at his friend's near-corpse, drenched completely in the mix of their blood and steam, and literally so aroused; the pain he's feeling, the blood that was clinging onto his skin and in his mouth, and all the adrenaline that was pumping through his veins. i think if it went any further, he might've came on the spot 😭😭 SO LITERALLY RIGHT AFTER THIS, HE'S WALKING TO READER'S HOME IN COMPLETE FILTH AND GENUINELY EVEN HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW HE WASN'T STOPPED LMFAO he actually was going to wait for her to come home to show this surprise, but then he saw her dirty laundry and lost complete control of himself and yk the rest LOL

ain't desiderate bertolt just the silliest 😋

[vrisrezis]

hey y’all more geto song fic

Song is mr perfectly fine by Taylor swift

Slight gojo x reader (again) because yea I like pain everywhere

Also nsfw (reader is dom/top) reader doesn’t have a specified gender but definitely has a dick so amab LMFAO

Kinda cheating on gojo but not really cuz they’re just fwb that go on some dates (but not officially dating) so eeee lol

Mr. “Perfect face”

Mr. “Here to stay”

Mr. “Looked me in the eye and told me you would never go away”

He was perfect.

Maybe you were being dramatic, surely you must be. Nobody’s perfect after all. Maybe you were so blinded by love, it was what you truly believed. Even if he teased you, he never went too far, never said anything he knew you were sensitive about. And if he ever did, he apologized. He was kind, he listened to you vent, he made you smile, he made you laugh.

He promised you the world. He promised you he’d never leave you, and naturally you believed him. You don’t think you were stupid to believe him. You think that at the time, he had meant it. There had been so many times you had pushed him away in fear of loving him, in fear you’d end up hurt again.

And he backed up his words everytime, even when you were so cruel he was so kind. He still was there for you even when you hurt him. And eventually, because of his dedication and his loyalty, you let him in.

Everything was right.

Mr. “I’ve been waiting for you all my life”

Mr. “Every single day until the end, I will be by your side”

It felt right to let him in. For the first time in your life you didn’t feel guilt for doing so. You never once doubted his love, his loyalty. You trusted him whole heartedly. And you don’t think you were wrong to do so, even now.

Because at the time, he had not planned on betraying that trust.

At the time, it felt as though you had finally found the one. You typically don’t believe in that stuff, but he made it feel like it was real. Like soulmates were real. He was meant to be yours and you were meant to be his.

You were young, but you knew you were in love.

You stupidly thought you’d be together for the rest of your days.

But that was when I got to know Mr. “change of heart”

Mr. “Leaves me all alone” I fall apart

And then, everything changed. Getou Suguru, the man you loved, betrayed the jujutsu sorcerers, including yourself. Killing an entire village that included his own parents.

The man that claimed the strong should always protect the weak, the man that claimed he loved humanity, the man that claimed all that death and destruction is meaningless, it felt gross thinking about it now. What had changed?

You didn’t know, you almost didn’t care.

He leaves, without much of a goodbye. The last time you see him, gojos yelling at him as he walks away.

You fail to miss the hurt in his eyes as he sees you glare at the sight of him, before turning away from the both of them, as if not wanting to watch the two of them any longer.

He fails to miss how much he destroyed you that day.

It takes everything in me just to get up each day

But it’s wonderful to see that you’re okay

Getou eventually starts his own cult. Continuing with his new life, without you in it. He seems to have moved on from you. It hasn’t been too long, but you haven’t been able to be yourself. You know Gojo isn’t much better, but at least he can function as a human being.

You can barely get out of bed anymore.

You sleep the whole day away despite the fact you went to bed as early as 8. You’ve come to understand that this is just one of the signs of depression. You hate what getou has turned you into.

Gojo visits a lot, trying to be there for you. You wish you could be there for him, but he tells you not to worry about it.

Hello, Mr. “Perfectly fine”

How’s your heart after breaking mine?

You bitterly wonder how he’s doing. If he ever thinks of you the way you think of him.

You don’t know if you’ll ever be able to trust anyone again. You want to. But you just don’t think you can, especially not so soon.

Maybe a part of you just misses being able to confide in someone.

Mr. “Always at the right place at the right time”

Baby

Hello Mr. “casually cruel”

Mr “everything revolves around you”

You finally find it in you to take on missions for jujutsu sorcery again. You’re strong, but even Yaga knows given your mental state you should not be taking on big time curses.

Just when you think, maybe you’ll be okay, even if only a little, he shows up.

You don’t even know why he’s here but it cannot possibly be good.

You don’t even know if you should talk to him, but you decide against it, as you notice the blood on his cheeks. Human blood.

How self centered do you have to be, to seriously think it’s okay to kill innocent people?

You feel sick.

I’ve been Ms. “misery” since your goodbye

And you’re Mr. “perfectly fine”

You’ve been holed up in your room, miserable. While your ex boyfriend has been happily ruining and ending lives.

What was it even all for?

Mr. “Never told you why”

Mr. “Never had to see me cry”

He never saw you in absolute disarray, the pain and grief you had to deal with. Losing your boyfriend in such a heartbreaking way. He never saw you struggle. He didn’t even see you the day you saw him. Perhaps you wanted to pretend you never saw him, because it would be at a cost of his safety. Or maybe you were scared of him. Even you weren’t sure what it was.

He didn’t even tell you why he left. You had to have gojo tell you. You didn’t get to confront him. Maybe you were just too scared to. Who knows.

But eventually, he finds you. He’s the one to confront you. And for a moment you feel terrified.

So it was really fear that allowed you to let him go, after all.

Mr. “Insincere apology so he doesn’t look like the bad guy”

He goes about his day

Forgets he ever even heard my name

He apologizes. But you both know he doesn’t mean it.

“I’m sorry.” he says blankly, you get the feeling he thinks he owes you an apology, despite the words not meaning anything.

There’s truth held to it, but you know what he’s apologizing for isn’t what he’s sorry about. He does not feel bad about killing those people, you’re not sure what he’s really sorry about.

But then he leaves.

You see him on occasion, in public, you see him with people you’ve never seen before. You assume, members of his cult.

He notices you, but never acknowledges you. Like you’re a complete stranger to him.

Well, I thought you might be different than the rest,

Guess you’re all the same

You thought he was special. Trust worthy. You’re one true love. But you suppose you were wrong.

More than that, you were stupid and young. You start to wonder what you even liked about him to begin with. Maybe you’re angry, bitter, upset, all of it at once. But you don’t know what you ever liked about him to begin with.

Your thoughts of him eventually become pure anger towards him, and nothing else.

‘Cause I hear he’s got his arm ‘round a brand new girl

I’ve been picking my heart, he’s been picking up her

You see him again, from a distance. You wonder why you haven’t killed him yet. He’s strong, but you’re strong too. You could always kill him. You are the second strongest, along with him, after all.

You’ve been trying so hard to mend your heart back together, but it feels impossible with how much you think about him.

You consider your options, think about how you should end his life, before you see them.

Two little girls.

And that’s when you realize, he has kids. Where the hell did he get them?

All this time you’ve been miserable, because of his absence, his betrayal, his lack of care towards you. And he’s already moving on with his new life while you’re still thinking about your old one?

It’s not fair.

And I never got past what you put me through

But it’s wonderful to see that it never fazed you

You could never quite get over it. Couldn’t quite get over him. You want to, especially when he seems so unbothered. But it’s hard.

So many times you’ve thought about giving up. So many times you’ve thought about trying to just live a life of normalcy, away from the jujutsu world.

But thoughts always come back to getou, the idea he’d kill you because you were now a normie.

Or the idea that maybe you could change his mind, selfish and stupid, but you still hoped to have him back into your life, normally.

But in the end, he doesn’t care. Not really. He’s set on his beliefs, he’d leave whoever he had to in order to succeed with his goals.

Hello Mr. “perfectly fine”

How’s your heart after breaking mine?

Did he ever care? You think he did. He just changed. That’s what people do. They change. Of course they do. You wonder if it was just a matter of time before this would happen. Everyone you’ve ever known had betrayed you one way or another. Used you, lied you you, mistrusted you. It always comes back to this.

You end up alone, hurt and betrayed, wondering why you keep continuing this cycle of trusting and loving people. Your heart is broken, once again. You must mend yourself back together, once again. You must build back up your walls, once again.

Mr. “Always at the right place at the right time”

Baby

Hello, Mr. “casually cruel”

Mr. “Everything revolves around you”

You would encounter him again, and for once it was when you could not back down from a fight. There was a young boy you needed to protect, a boy your ex was set on killing. Or perhaps, using. Getou liked playing the waiting game with this boy, it seemed. An arm wrapped around his shoulder, you walked behind the two. You cleared your throat.

He turns his head and sees you. He gives you a smirk, but there’s a sudden softness in his eyes upon realizing it’s you that you for once, notice. You hate how it makes your heart race. Your gaze does not soften like his does, though.

He gives a close eyed smile.

“Y/n! Long time no see!”

you grit you teeth at how casual he’s suddenly being with you.

Does he seriously think he’s going to get his way? You give gojo too much credit. Your king lost love certainly has an ego.

I’ve been Ms “misery” since your goodbye

And you’re Mr. “perfectly fine”

You’re still miserable. But you ultimately decide you need to move forward, if he has, why can’t you?

You feel guilty upon doing so. Not because you’re betraying getou, rather, you feel as though you’re betraying gojo. Leading him on. You haven’t moved on, your treating him like a rebound. He is a rebound. You don’t love him. But you tell yourself you do.

It’s like you try to completely replace getou with him. You take satoru to the same places you used to take suguru, you start to flirt and tease him the same way you used to flirt and tease suguru. The difference? You always fuck satoru on his stomach. You don’t hold his hands, you don’t want to look at him. You never touch his hair, because you’re hyper aware of the fact it’s significantly shorter. When he sucks you, you never look at him, you close your eyes, imagining someone else. You don’t kiss him while you fuck him. You tell him you love him, but you’re not thinking of satoru. You’re thinking of suguru.

So dignified in your well-pressed suit

So strategized, all the eyes on you

Another rescue mission, and who else do you run into other than the man getou suguru himself. The man that ruined your life and every aspect of it.

The mission was simple, rescue the girl at the party, leave.

But it seemed as though he had other plans for you.

That suit on him, it’s almost as if he wanted you to look at him. As if he knew you’d be here.

Maybe he did. And maybe your were a moron for falling into his trap.

Sashay your way to your seat

It’s the best seat, in the best room

How did you even get here? Your ex boyfriend, the man that’s ruined your life, the man you’ve hated and bitterly loved for so long, the man you never thought you’d ever truly be intimately involved with again. Bouncing on your cock.

All you could do was stare, he looks so beautiful. Even now.

You groan, even after all this time he’s still a total slut.

“Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou” he whines, incoherent.

Oh, he’s so smug , Mr. “always wins”

So far above me in every sense

So far above feeling anything

You don’t fail to see the smug look on sugurus face after it’s over, and it’s only then you realize you might’ve made a mistake.

And then he leaves without a trace. You fail to get the girl in time. You thank god satoru was there.

“Where were you?” he asked, “are you alright?” he asks, getting close to your face, noticing your exhaustion.

You breathe out a “yeah totally” and your friend, that you claim to be in love with but refuse to date, believes you.

You nearly failed.

You leave with satoru, suguru still in the back of your head.

You promise yourself you’ll never do that again.

And it’s really such a shame

It’s such a shame

But maybe that fuck was what you and him both needed.

It makes you sad to think about how everything went down. But maybe that was the closure you needed.

Because even if he had done it as a distraction, or so you thought, you realize it was genuine. His I love you’s were genuine, he stared at you with such love, such softness in his eyes.

You realized, maybe he did still love you. Maybe he always did, always has.

And that’s a shame. Because you know now, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Because you think you’re ready to move on.

‘Cause I was Ms. “here to stay”

Now I’m Ms. “gonna be alright someday”

You decide that you’ll be okay. Maybe at first, satoru was some sort of rebound. But it’s not like you didn’t have feelings for him at all. It’s why you even suggested being with him to begin with.

You thought you’d stay with suguru forever, but you wonder if maybe satoru was the one you were meant to be with all along. You acknowledge that you can trust again, you can truly be in love with satoru. You just need more time. And you need to be honest with him about what happened.

And so you do. And satoru understands. Because deep down he knew for a long time, you loved suguru.

He’s hurt, but he knows you do want to be with him still.

And so, you two slowly figure out your relationship. You give eachother time. You learn to let satoru in. You learn to trust him. And he learns to let you in, to truly trust you, and to do it without any doubt of your love for him.

And someday, maybe you’ll miss me

But by then youll be, Mr. “too late”

Your ex boyfriend, getou suguru. Seeks you out again. For another fuck, like last time. He’s up close in your face. Talking about some type of deal. An exchange for a young boy named yuta. You just need to give into him, let him use your pretty dick again. Even better, use him to your hearts content while he screams out in pleasure.

But this time, you do not give into his ministrations. You tell him you’re not interested, and you see the cocky smirk go away. His eyes widen in surprise, because you’re genuine. You’re not scared, you’re not worried of betrayal, you’re not holding back.

You are not hiding anything from him.

You are simply not interested in him anymore.

He realizes now, he’s lost you, for good this time.

Goodbye, Mr. “perfectly fine”

How’s your heart after breaking mine?

Now you finally know how he feels.

He cares, he always has.

You now know why he’s sorry. He’s not sorry for killing those people, he’s not sorry for doing what he believes he has to. He’s sorry for leaving. He’s sorry for hurting you. He’s sorry for not being what you wanted. He’s sorry he wasn’t strong enough for you.

He’s sorry he wasn’t gojo.

You got everything you want out of him, you are not angry anymore. You will always be sad by your loss, but you now know you are capable of a life without him.

You are moving on without him in your life.

Mr. “Always at the right place at the right time”

Baby

Goodbye, Mr. “casually cruel”

Mr. “Everything revolves around you”

He sees you pretty often now. But he doesn’t directly interact. He sees you interact with gojo. He sees you kiss him. He realizes you’ve moved on. He wonders if you ever cared, were you ever hurt? When you fucked him, were you just using him? You did manage to save the girl, or more like, gojo did.

Did you always know? Was he just a fool?

You notice him, but don’t utter a word, you just look back at gojo.

As if he was some stranger.

I’ve been Ms. “misery” for the last time

And you’re Mr. “perfectly fine”

You’re perfectly fine

He eventually realizes the pain he has inflicted upon you. You left him, and he watched you. He watched you fall for another, be happy with another. All he could do was watch idly by.

Like you, he will eventually realize you did always love him and you did care. Just not so much anymore. You move on despite the fact you thought all this time he had, but he had never once stopped thinking of you.

Mr. “Look me in the eye and told me you would never go away”

You said you’d never go away

He replays your memories everyday. He remembers everytime he promised to stick by you. He doesn’t blame you for no longer loving him.

So on December 24th, he tells satoru to keep taking good care of you.

In the end, he wasn’t really lying.

He’ll always be with you. Dead or not. He was always with you, even if you weren’t together. Everything he did, was for you. To build you a better life that you could live in. He dedicated his life to you, so much so he detached himself from you life in hopes of protecting you from so much pain. He failed in doing so anyways.

But even if you move on, deep down, you know it too.

Suguru is always with you. Which seems like a sweet sentiment. But it’s not. It’s more like,

Suguru Getou will always be there to haunt you.

[39oa]

roboquinn!!!

thank you and tc for asking <3 but also girl this is literally just YOUR commentator au that i wrote down notes/snippets for and then gave up on as we kept talking because i was delusionally hoping you'd do it for us LMFAO. it's a very bare doc with only lapslock excerpts but i'm still attached to the concept and have many thoughts about how their dynamic would work... also funny because we came up with this like 8 months before quinn even got the c but in all our notes we were just like yeah obviously he'd retire as captain lol

anyway the thing with 4321 is that i would personally read a lot of different au permutations for them, especially anything involving umich/Midwestern College Hockey dynamics because there's a lot of au potential there. commentator au specifically was = what if robo never made it to the nhl? + what if quinn retired prematurely because of injury and both of them went into broadcasting?, and i think we'd decided on robo doing play-by-play because he has more natural personality and quinn taking on the ex-player analyst role alongside him. however what's most crucial to ME about non-player!robo is that i think of him as someone who is very secure in himself and almost neurotically dedicated to always doing the right thing/making the correct life decisions, so the only reason he doesn't make it professionally is that his family moves to michigan a lot later and he and his brothers miss out on crucial junior development opportunities, so he realizes that hockey is a pipe dream and decides to treat it as a hobby and gets a journalism degree or something. this also makes the nick sibling dynamic more interesting because in my head nick would still try to become a hockey player since he's way more stubborn and impulsive, but he'd max out as an echl/ahl lifer and it becomes less of like "look at how much my athlete brother has succeeded!!" but in a way still robo being more successful because he got a good degree and stayed realistic about his future and makes good money now.

i think 4321 is basically interesting because everything in the world for them boils down to Siblings and they're the oldest of their respective nhl sibling groups but still have very different upbringings. i love the idea of having history long before they meet as a broadcasting duo because robo also went to umich and watched some of his games, but quinn obviously not remembering him... i also think in this universe quinn retires early but not like egregiously so and therefore still has a historic career with the canucks, but then he still struggles to grapple with that because maybe at this age the devils are like a total wagon and he has to cover playoff games for jack and luke for example. AND IN HIS ENTIRE CAREER HE NEVER WINS A CUP!!! plus i think of quinn spending his entire career in vancouver and depending on petey way more than he'd thought he did and now being like unmoored from his second home while robo is very used to traveling and is extremely independent and self-sufficient, and then it's like You think you're the most adjusted member of your family because you're the oldest brother and spent decades living alone on a whole different coast but the reality is actually that you were still deeply accustomed to the insular niche of an nhl team bubble and are being forced to navigate what it means to be an adult for the very first time when everyone you ever cared about is still stuck in that environment. and you're in your 30s!

also the reason quinn gets hired is because robo used to broadcast with pavs (who eventually leaves the role because he's old and wants to spend time with his family), so by now he's totally used to working with hotshot american ex-players and is very blasé around Rich NHL Dudes, and again like with nick is basically the more adjusted one who kind of sees how like quinn is basically functionally alone and doesn't have any systems around him that aren't 100% about hockey and thus latches on to him a little bit. so the dynamic is like >we are coworkers but also do you even know how to book a hotel by yourself? and quinn thinking robo is a nerd at first but eventually deferring to his 100% faith in himself and ease with which he navigates social situations.

also robo would have longterm gf because it's the Right Thing To Do and he's never thought that there was another way to live... like he's adjusted to the point of being so mindlessly socially integrated that he never even considers the fact that maybe he isn't even into women, he just does it because it's what he's meant to do, whereas quinn has way more inner turmoil and could never really hold a relationship down and has a million crises about it and then stuff happens and they get together in a random hotel room in finland during world juniors blah blah more bad decisions and realizations the end. please write them for me 😭

[the-bjd-community-confess]

k I don’t really care MUCH about cvlur’s past actions in the hobby with her preorder & shit, cuz I wasn't directly affected. it was one of those things where everyone was talking bout it but i didn't order/want a doll so it wasn’t personal to me. It sucked/etc/hope the victims got compensated/etc. That's a disclaimer cuz I'm neither a cvlur fan or hater. This ain’t about her directly. It’s about her fans/haters who like to debate this constantly lately. Which I seem to fuckin be surrounded by. Also, my tone is kinda aggro to some people cuz I curse but i don’t actually lose sleep over this shit lmfao.

what DOES annoy me anytime someone brings this up like that last confession crying about how ppl are so mad she fucked up when she was “young” - girl is ALMOST 30 NOW if I understand correctly. If it happened 10 yrs ago she wouldnt have been in her early 20s, she’d been like 16-19 and THAT would be WAY more understandable to say “she was young and didn’t know any better.” this shit happened LESS than 10 yrs, she was like, college age, which for US is 18-22 TYPICALLY if you go to college fresh outta highschool for a 4 year degree. ppl in their early 20s, while yeah, in the grand scheme of LIFE are young, are still ADULTS, capable of running complex fuckin tasks from working at a company to managing money for a group order. ppl in their early 20s include 20-24. stop infantilizing people. People can make mistakes at ANY age and severely misjudge a situation (intentional or not what she did). cvlur and I are roughly the same iirc, at the time of sending this im 28, turning 29. If she’s younger than me, she was running an order as a highschooler, which she wasn’t.

There were SO fucking many ppl in college in their “early 20s” who, mature or not, worked with large sums of money, complex organizational structures, etc. some ppl are suited for that shit, some ain’t. You can straight up just say “she was under prepared for the situation” instead of “oh poor bby she was so young 🥺 she just didn’t know!!!” you sound like a fuckin moron, anon. Do you treat every 20yr old who makes a simple mistake at the grocery store like that too? You better tip ur waiters extra who are under 25 even if they spill your drink or make you wait bc they were just too young to know better, they can’t be blamed for that

and for the other person in the comments too, “adults obsessing over her” or whatever …… she’s an adult she’s an adult she’s an adult no wonder why she avoids talking to ppl both haters and fans alike take away her fucking agency SO much. OFF THE SUBJECT OF CVLUR but relating to scammers rn tho, the same can STILL be said about it. Their age doesn’t = not knowing enough about running a good thing. Look at ppl complaining abt dxg1rly, is she worse than everyone younger bc she’s said she’s almost 40, so she only went in with bad intents and not a mistake like cvlur? same with bvmf?

Not sayin dx or bvmf or anyone else who’s been late on shipping/etc etc is absolved of anything, or that they’ve done smth, and same with cvlur, cuz i’ve never ordered from any of these ppl. but don’t give ppl the weak ass get outta jail “oh i was 21 I was just too young to know!”to keep using esp if they really did do something bad. Also, anon, late shipping is absolutely scam territory, and if it happened to you I bet you'd cry scam too by year 2 or whatever lmfaooooo. Thanks for coming to my “I don’t like that the community infantilizes so much shit about this hobby for grown adults” ted talk, I’m off to go scam someone or smth cuz i’m in my 20s so I’m young and don’t know any better lmfao

~Anonymous

[idyllic-affections]

Hi there! So its been while since i last sent my ask. How are you aph? There seem to be a lot of posts, so im going to ask about the ones im interested about!

First, HI LIAN!!! I saw Lian and I LOVE THEM, They look so cool (btw great drawing btw) and i have so many questions!! 1. Is Lian a high elder? If they are, which ship are they from? (The high elders are the only ones who has visible dragon features, normal vidyadhara only have pointy elf ears) 2. Since they’re in erudition, What kind of research do they speacialize in? 3. WHAT IS THEIR BACKSTORY!!!

Second, why must you break my heart with Kaveh and his younger sibling like BRO. WHY YOU GOTTA BE LIKE THAT!!!!!!! God the angst is hard, but for some reason, i could see kaveh’s younger sibling getting along with wanderer because yk mommy issues and similar personality, although i think at first they didnt get along with wanderer hat guy since he injured Kaveh during the akademiya extravanganza thing and if they have similar personalities then they’re going butt heads with eachother. Still i think Wanderer can understand where kaveh’s younger sibling is coming from. Also am i wrong to say that Alhaitham might have inspired them to join Haravatat??? 👀

Third, uhhh so what happens if bots start following you? (Also how do you know its a bot?)

Hope you have a great day/night btw!

(have you gotten my other ask about a trope idea i had about Archilles heel and a HSR x reader idea? I hope you dont mind me asking that)

- 🐱 Anon

OOODHSKSH i love talking about lian. i told my boyfriend about them last night. he had no idea what i was talking about BUT he listened anyway 🫶🫶

hsr spoilers utc. some of lian's details are still being tweaked and edited, so certain things may or may not change!

yes! lian is a high elder. you know how dan heng... does not really care about his past incarnation and his high elder-ship in general? lian was always a "I Do Not Want This Job" high elder, in most if not all of their incarnations. they're from the xianzhou zhuming originally, but have spent the last few hundred years on the luofu. dan feng's silly ass got them thrown in prison LMFAO lian spent many incarnations serving as a retainer for other high elders since they weren't particularly interested in guarding one of yaoshi's artifacts or leading a clan of their own or succeeding another high elder, but they still had some kind of duty and obligation that they had to fulfill. so. they did it by being a retainer.

well. many incarnations went by, and who was the most recent high elder who they served under? that's right. imbibitor lunae dan feng.

the difference between dan feng's relationship with them and their relationship with other high elders is that he ended up being like some kind of strange older brother figure to them, because almost immediately following their self-incarnation, they were placed under him as a retainer. so he--a bit older than them, probably 100-ish years older at the time--just had this little vidyadhara high elder kid following him around.

well. you know. things happened, and of course they supported him in his Sinful Behaviors and his Crimes. they got thrown in prison for an indefinite amount of time, which was a considerably more merciful punishment than dan feng's. anyway. jing yuan eventually lets them out (initially with the intention of returning them to prison, even if he felt like they deserved to be free) around the time blade and dan heng and yanqing have their interaction.

lian knows why he chose to free them briefly--jing yuan released them with the intention of using their loyalty to his and his companions' advantage, because he knew dan heng was around and he knew they would absolutely blitz anything that put him in danger, even if he is technically not dan feng. they tell the general off and run away when he initially releases them but they do pull through for him and the trailblazers during the fight with phantylia. and they apologize to him for telling him off bc they generally aren't that mean they're very kind and gentle actually and they're generally very logical and understanding of the nuances of situations. it's just that they were tired and angry :(

when dan heng's eternal banishment is lifted, so is their prison sentence.

but now the issue is lian doesn't really want to stay with the xianzhou alliance anymore. dan heng advises them to join the nameless (bro is like "i'm not dan feng" but has nightmares involving them that cause deeper and more stressful feelings which linger more than the other nightmares of his past life.....), to which they kindly--and a little shyly, still uncomfortable and unsure of how to interact with dan heng--accept... with welt's approval, of course.

and as an erudition pathstrider, they have always been fascinated by the universe and it's mysteries, but they haven't really had the chance to study that stuff in-depth until they joined the nameless. they're also quite skilled with mechanics and craftsmanship. they're from the zhuming after all! their skill is definitely not to be underestimated, even if they look too gentle and sweet to do any harm. himeko gets along with them very well and spends a lot of time just... talking with them, exchanging thoughts and perceptions about the universe.

lian hejehekshsksh <33

AJFMSJSKGAKAGAN YEAHHH a lot of you seemed to really enjoy that little brainrot kaiser and i had <3 wanderer and kaveh's younger sibling PLEASEEEE i definitely think the wanderer could understand them. and no, you're not wrong at all! alhaitham definitely inspired them to join haravatat.

i don't think anything bad really happens. i think it's just a personal preference to have real people following you HSNSHJFN.... the reason people always insist that new blogs customize their blog is because blank blogs (ones without a profile picture or banner or title) are ones that are indistinguishable from bots. basically, you can never know for sure, but blank blogs are kind of likely to be bots.

I DID GET YOUR ASK BTW it's okay!!!! dw about asking, i understand <33 i will reply soon!

[katzirra]

Spends over an hour talking to my buddy about comics once he finished Loki finally and sent me a meme to fucking talk shit on the poetry boys LMFAO

Casually writes a novel on comic blorbos.......

Jer brought up a really neat point and we kinda went off on like... both our experiences with Marvel comics and how they have a habit of shooting themselves in the foot with their fucking retcons and shit. Mostly like, in terms of it weirdly kinda... detracts from characters and maybe bits and pieces people related to? For me it was what drew me INTO dynamics of characters at times?

Now, I haven't touched a comic in almost 10 years so... anything that happened from the Marvel NOW! launch and forward is a mystery to me, and I'm ignorant on [to preface this long ass post...] Also my memory is spotty.

Also possibly spoilers for the new season if you haven't caught up on Loki :v so yaknow. IF YOU READ THIS AND CARE...

Jer and I were talking about the basis of the show really kinda became like how can we take this fan favorite character, let him have some emotional depth, maybe have some friends and do some fucky stuff with it. LETS GET WEIRD WITH IT??

It kinda harkens back to themes that made me ultimately fall in love with Deadpool comics, and reminds me of why I dropped reading his stuff too. I'll circle back to this lol.

Anyone who knows me, knows I'm a huge sucker for a found family, and I'm a bigger sucker for characters defeating fate or the narrative. I'm big on the best friend/possible romantic option of a character that sees what an absolute dumpster fire next to a textile factory someone is, and still thinks there's something good in there.

I find it funny how much I couldn't STAND the hype of Loki as a character as long as he's been in the MCU because my experience with him has always been comics/cartoons and him being a little HOO HOO HEE HEE gremlin of a bastard. Just HATED him. Excellent MCU costume designs though.

The movies he's just a little weasel of a backstabbing bastard, and I find him annoying. Like yes, I see there's emotional trauma in EVERYTHING that makes his background aside from his mother, and yes I get the narrative of him as a villain etc - but I don't feel compelled by it, personally. That's just me though - I'm FASCINATED by people that are civil minded stans and can argue for why he's fascinating. But also, how much of that is personal projection too?

When I was getting into comics, the Siege event was going on so Loki's face was everywhere in like...2010?? So many teeth... And he was KILLED, and they started doing the Kid Loki stuff and I read a little bit of that because two of my RP friends in the Avenger's group I was in - and it was neat! Then in like 2014 they started doing... what was it, Agent of Asgard? That was....something. I never read it but it was interesting to see them make a workaround for them to kinda...breathe new life into a character people were getting into again!

NEAT STUFF, THAT'S NEAT TO ME!! I LOVE A REVAMP LIKE THAT!! I like the Marvel theme of escaping your reputation. I love that theme. It's like what they did with Evan, the uh Kid Apocalypse. I adore the whole aftermath of Uncanny X-Force for that - Evan just...fucking destined to be Apocalypse and fucking he's so DETERMINED NOT TO BE, and to learn his powers etc. I'm pretty sure he became... Genesis? And died fighting... ;; big sigh... at least he proved his worth, right?

But Jer and I talking about all this kinda made me sad too because we were discussing sort of the way Marvel can take an unlikeable bastard, and with the right handling, they can get something REALLY interesting with it!!

When I first got into Deadpool like...2011 or something I did it because I was annoyed seeing him everywhere and thought 'Surely there's more to him than fart and ass jokes?' and I was right, thankfully.

But I'd also spend a lot of time slogging through a lot of shit, and seeing him kind of BECOME only fart and ass jokes... Like, the movies are fun and stuff, I guess but... I honestly can't stand them very much. But that's me, if people enjoy them? Okay, tight. But also like Daniel Way just, OOF.

Interesting parallel - kinda made it click in place WHY I think I've been enjoying the Loki show. Like, when I picked up Deadpool I SLOGGED through the Joe Kelly run, which is just Wade being a little self-depreciating soggy, abusive and shitheaded person really. Hiding behind his paper bag over his face, excusing his actions because shit sucks - like just kind of a shitty awful and exhausting person overall. WOE!!! A piece of shit! And I get some of the shit that happens to him outside the OBVIOUS is fucky - but I don't know, it was kinda relentless. I feel like even when life deals you all lemons, there's still something in there to tell storywise to curb just the ONSLAUGHT of oh wow poor me... Can you tell I don't enjoy this run of comics? LMAO

But as you get through that, you start to get side comics that kinda do a bit more to polish him up. He's a jerk, and he's sensitive to how fucked up his face looks, but he isn't a wet feral animal ALL the time? He's just rude. Really rude. Random. We start to grasp OOOH IT'S AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE TO COVER SHIT WITH JOKES... man, I can relate to that haha HAHAHHA....

I got into reading Cable & Deadpool because my friend Johnly was HUGE into Xmen and it seemed inevitable to get into it... but it was well written and drawn and like... I'm married to it as my favorite comic. Those are my boys. Those are my besties. That's the comic ship I didn't ask for and I got it. That's the bromance/romance I go up to bat for. Any capacity - those are the BOYS. MY SONS.

It's my favorite trope; I've seen your worst, and I still think there's good in you. You just need someone in your corner.

FUCKING SCREAMS. Even still, in a non-shipping way that's my fucking duo DYNAMIC. You will sell me so often on ANYTHING with that.

When Cable and Deadpool came around, it rolled in after the Agent X comic, which gave us like a 'Clone' of Deadpool who had a WHOLE ENTOURAGE OF FRIENDS like a rag tag bunch of misfits who were a very unconventional FOUND FAMILY. Wade was still a fucking dick, a bastard a lot of times - but his friends saw value in him and stuck around still. Even ones he was recently a demon to, like...man.

And even more so; when Nate pulls the dick move of sacrificing himself, he had that support network of friends there for him to process that, because it hurts no matter how you see their relationship. That was his best friend. It hit hard.

It hits hard especially because Nate and him start out moral enemies. Wade hates him because he's holier than thou, and Nate hates him because he's a nuisance, he's a mercenary - there's a laundry list tbh. Untrustworthy. He's scum! The closer they keep rotating around one another - or into eachother even jfc - they start to tolerate one another, and start to talk more, and Nate starts to really talk about how Wade could do better and be better. Wade starts to see value in himself more, he's still sharp tongued with Nate, but he starts to also be a bit softer with him, joke around and sees value in HIM and what he's trying to accomplish with Providence and stuff. He sees the vision - but he also sees the danger of that vision in regards to Nate's LIFE.... So there's a lot of selfish shit on both sides of the fence that's interesting.

They don't always agree, but Wade starts to come around, and Nate does this thing where people will be like YO DEADPOOL BE CRAZY WHY YOU ROLLIN' WITH HIM? And he is in his corner to be like hey, that's my boy Wade like give him a chance? HE'S DIFFERENT NOW. But yaknow they also emotionally manipulate one another in weird ways. :)) SIGH.

GIVE AND TAKE I GUESS. But it's interesting to see the evolution of trust and openness?? They're best friends, you can't argue that.

AND YAKNOW...we were discussing the response to this actually!! In Loki it was interesting to see Mobius say shit like that to him [how he can BE BETTER, he can be whatever he wants to be!!] and he just kinda.... I don't know, he's a villain by definition and yet he's whipped 'round into this anti-hero kinda position that becomes curious. But he doesn't lash out when he's told this shit, because the fight has mostly left by that point. He doesn't know what to do with those words?? Like yeah, okay.

But, conversely, with Nate and Wade... Nate is very heavy handed with it, and Wade is INSANELY volatile with his emotions because of how his brain is always in flux. And...he gets to a point he starts lashing out about it, about how Nate is trying to change him and he's FINE AS HE IS, AND HE'S TIRED OF HIS SHIT. They lash out a lot, but Nate also is kind of a controlling shit. He wants to play god, where as yaknow... Mobius has ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD FOR THE SHITHEAD TO UNDERSTAND IF HE DIDN'T WANNA LISTEN.

Honestly hilarious, the similarities...

But Jer and I were talking about how it's interesting to us that the show really focused on WHO is Loki without his magic. He's a con-man, he's a fast talker, he's a violent little feral cat. He doesn't know what trust and care is honestly, because even in his own family there were so many lies and hostility. So they pit him with this partner who has seen every trick and BULLSHIT THING he's ever said and done, and is like "Yeah yeah big scary God, wow. ANYWAY-" He is both fascinated, complimentary, and utterly flippant about Loki and that's interesting. We meet someone, a whole organization, that isn't phased by the existence of Gods.

It's interesting to see tunnel vision character exploration - small cast exploration - on characters that are deemed bad, but have a weird thing about them that doesn't necessarily mean they're REDEEMABLE, but that they have something that is inherently BROKEN in their past that can be nursed? Latent potential to be good.

They're not hardwired to be good guys, they can be good people, but it's harder and more exhaustive. But sometimes - it's nice.

But uh yeah - SO ANYWAY, moves down the line some more here -

WEIRD SIMILARITIES. But they're there and maybe that's what I liked about the show. You present me with a character I already don't like, you mock him and kinda kick him when he's down and then have this guy show up who is like... not really a fanboy but - HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. He doesn't appear phased at all the shit he can throw at him, and he plants the seed that he can be better.

And I love that the show is two seasons. It's short, it's sweet, it does a lot of really interesting things I'm obsessed with visually and narratively you can fiddle with. It has a very bittersweet ending, but it's not 100% sad for me. I love that they got this irredeemable broken bastard, and they gave him a win - and yet it's still, in Loki's nature, a loss. But he has all the time in the universe to figure things out. If he can ascend like that in just a few centuries - what's to say he can't free himself from his coffin of his own making.

We're given a consequential win, and I've already see fans making fix-its that are PHENOMENAL. My FAVORITE things to see and read for fanfic topics is people playing with the sandbox. I hate that people ALWAYS assume you know, sexual shit when you say you read fanfic - I am OBSESSED with people playing with the sandbox and fixing issues. Continuing the story. Developing insane head canons, coming up with the most INTERESTING INTRICATE IDEAS and still leaving me on a cliff hanger.

You've taken a bastard, redeemed him, and influenced CREATIVE MINDS to play with it in a positive way. I've seen most people express APPROVAL but sadness with the ending and that's I think the best thing to happen! It's how I still feel about the Mass Effect 3 ending :))

Conversely it all really highlighted my sadness of how with comics, we can so easily run a good idea into the ground, and how ya'know... you can see your character MAKE that 180 or you can see them do like a 320 and come out a little worse....

For Deadpool, C&DP ends on a VERY bitter note of Nate sacrificing himself, he is depressed about it, I think they have a big talk with him about it with the Agent X fam? My timeline is fucky with the 3 'ending' points of C&DP - full transparency lol. But... after this comic comes the numerous team ups - like him trying to find his place in the world, and then in like 2008 [which I'd been working towards, and was excited for because the art was really CRISP...] you hit Daniel Way.

Way's Deadpool introduces the ANNOYING yellow box and white box almost as if he was split personalities, where as it was really just like...thought boxes, just colored uniquely... As far as I've read, this has been retconned in recent comics. But it's the big staple in all things Deadpool - but.... Way's Deadpool is very disjointed, he's trying to date and marry death, he's suicidal because he wants to be with her forever, he is a lot of dick and fart jokes that just don't hit for me - he has funny moments but I can't think of a single serious moment I got emotional over?? You gotta give us reasons to connect with our character, or things that hit us to stick with us? I felt like I was just reading low punches a lot?

But it did this weird thing, that I'm trying to find any of the wikis talk about and coming up blank, but there's this point in the comics where in Way's... he basically gets hunted down by his whole support net? It's like a big thing? Like everyone hates him and shit? But somehow EVERY WRITER AFTER THIS ACTS LIKE THINGS WERE FINE~

Like they hunted this man for SPORT it was WEIRD. It was so.... weird?? Going through my own tag I didn't even blog about it... weird??

But I dunno, it left a bad taste in my mouth to like reduce Wade down to like... what they did. C&DP works really hard to kinda get people to see some value in Wade, and then Way's DP just kinda tears that structure down and all he has is Bob left whom he really is AWFUL AS HELL TO....

It's sad to me. The new comics started, and I left shortly after, in like...what...2012? I was really excited for the team, the writers and artists involved and he looked GNARLY but interesting and I loved the colors and - it was gonna be WEIRD and funny... but they kinda kept leaning into the like...

You know when you don't wanna talk to someone, or be seen by someone and you shield your face and walk the other way? I feel like we were back to that with Deadpool. Like it was EMBARRASSING to be seen with him, even though in the aftermath of C&DP we did all those team-ups and had some great cross overs and EVEN HAD A SPIDERMAN COMIC THAT WE SAW THEY COULD BE CIVIL [we all know I hate how Peter treats Wade and I have bad blood with those shippers still :)) never forgive, never forget! But boy howdy he was an ass to him WHICH IS FAIR BECAUSE MORAL DIFFERENCES...] but like?? We were back to HAHA WOW HE'S CRINGE... which is a bummer.

I dunno.

Jer just kinda really hit a nerve in my brain when he pointed out how the show kinda did a thing we don't see the pay off for as often as we should. Turning over a new leaf, and truly discovering what it means to do a selfless action?

And it just kinda reminded me how I love Wade being a SNARKY piece of shit, and how bad he is at trying to be a good person - he's just a weird little guy, he knows he's not a hero and he doesn't really try to be. He just tries to be real with people? But he IS a good ally, and he HAS the capacity to be loyal, and he -

Man like. ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE ARC? UNCANNY X-FORCE.

FUCKING ANGEL FROM XMEN HAS A SMALL TEAM AND THEY HAVE A JOB TO DO AND THEY HIRE FUCKING WADE TO COME WITH, AND EVERYONE IS ANNOYED BECAUSE HE'S ANNOYING and he's ya'know DEADPOOL.... and when they get to the fucking end of the mission and it's like hey, you gotta kill this kid Apocalypse? Fucking he DRAWS THE LINE. No women, no kids! He makes a STINK about it. Logan and Fantomex are like yo, what the FUCK you're being paid for this you bastard - and it's Angel or Betsy who points out that Wade never cashed any of the checks.

Like Wade half the time would go along on an Xmen mission just for the benefit of being INCLUDED honestly. Some of the writers use to really GET THAT. He use to hold them with a lot of reverence. And I feel like that was a big thing I was sad about with the movies was removing that kinda "WOOOOW IT'S THE GANG" vibes... he's just kinda... jaded? Hm. Huffs. ME TOO THOUGH LMAO.

Uncanny X-Force is so delightful... and even still too a lot of people...really don't paint him in a loyal light or care about his connections to people and it's sad. In the Messiah War arc like Cable specifically calls on Deadpool to have his back and fight with him while he's transporting baby Hope, and he gets so UPSET when he has to leave. It's not good bye~ and Wade is so sad because he thought they were a team again. AND I WANTED IT SO BADLY, I wanted him to have that stability he deserved, a friend. THE GUY WHO SAW WHAT HE WAS CAPABLE OF.

There's random good moments in random comics, and of course they meet again in a Deadpool & Cable comic, which is good and done by some of the older team. Idk. I wish...

I wish I could still read comics in confidence they wouldn't scrub whole segments of a character.

It's like a post Dazz reblogged the other day about how characters have less weight these days because we're scrubbing lime line events from them in desires to make them TIMELESS and it's detrimental because there's no proportional trauma or event to really add that weight now and then, ya'know?

Me talking for too long.

Loki ended in a way I was pleased with, and I was surprised to end up liking that incarnation of him, and being excited if they expand on him ever again - conversely if they don't wow, EMOTIONAL and amazing regardless. But, uh, they really uh... they really kinda coded that ending as eternal pining with those two. I didn't think much about it until a few weeks later someone posted something and it hit me sideways like a brick. How dare?

And I'm still mourning the fact there was a lot of hard work to get people to take Deadpool seriously as a character in universe, and to get him on teams, and they kinda took everything away from him, just to give him weird new things, only to take that away and rebuild him again. But at least he's FRIENDS with Cable I GUESS. But who knows the fuck is going on with him anymore. He's probably DEAD AGAIN... He sure died and came back wrong in my book :)

But I think that's just the thing with Marvel. You gotta pick your battles, and pick your story arcs to commit to. It's like when people are into a specific writer for Batman or something. SHRUGS.

Me casually being mad my friends can call my favorites, and why so easily and proceed to talk to me about it's narrative themes and character arcs so easily... I'm a predictable fucking pile of shit, I swear to god....

Me rereading this post: IS THIS ANYTHING? IT'S NOTHING. IT'S ALL NOTHING.

[zeltqz]

This might be late because tr has already ended, but what do you think should the ending have added in terms of loose ends and in what part should have ended? I don’t remember if you had any thoughts on the ending and I’m sorry if this is super long!! ❤️

AH yeah i already spoke abt this when it ended but idm going over it again

ahem

so i liked the ending a lot, just hated how it was executed. there was so much wasted potential there and im not mad because i know it wasn't just lazy sloppy writing, wakui was on a time limit with shonen jump apparently and had to rush it so i 100% get it and im not mad because of that

but it is a little disappointing having hearing all these cool theories about hanma and the haitanis and the whole reaper and pierriot shit with shuji and sanzu. it was such a good fucking theory and it almost feels canon. i felt like those theories set the bar so high for me so for the ending to be that simple instead lowkey just ruined it for me

i also hate how shuji did all that cuz he was 'bored' like its funny and stuff but i hope he had a bigger role and still hope he does. like i still dont beleieve he had no set purpose in the story aside from just comic relif yk? he was so shady and it wouldve made so much sense if he was the leaper, and even if he wasnt a leaper, he could've still had a role in it

and i hate how the side characters are so cool yet we dont know shit about them. especially the haitanis and kakucho. the most we know about them is so short and brief statements and i feel like there is no canon them. its all fanon versions we all created using small statements and facts from their sheets to create a version of them inside our heads

like before the character sheet, the way we viewed ran was WAY different to how he actually is, just a lazy ass mf that sleeps all day lmfao

and though i hate takeomi, i wanted to know more about him story wise like what was the final thing that set haruchiyo off to the point he abanonded them, changed his name and went to mikey instead. and where was he staying during all that? who was he living with? mucho? did he live alone? how did takeomi get that scar? we know now because of the recent charcater book but its not enough infomation

like if all this stuff was included in the main plot of the story, the manga wouldve been so much better and more inclusive to the side charcters

even shion. i dont care abt him at all but i wanna know his backstory. are his parents alive? does he have siblings? are the haitanis parents alive? who were kakuchos parents and whats that mans birthday like

theres so many questions and i dont know shit abt half the characters that aren't the main group and it rlly feels like wasted potential

but i understand the circumstances that wakui was put through so im not that upset about it but i really am hoping and praying he realises smaller stories about different charcters and there full backstories, how they became delinquents, how they went to juvie, how they found juvie, any small intersting things that happened to them that make them more of an actual character rather than just a side character with bits of info thrown at us

[ancaliime]

there is Drama in the family, pertaining to an auntie committing fraud through my deceased grandmother and another auntie involving herself—the two of them are trying to play everyone—and of course my mom as per usual took one side throughout the drama itself and then after more alcohol turned on my dad and then me, and she and i fought worse than we have for years. she tried to drag me into how unfair she was being, then started on me, and to be fair i fucking went for it because i had experienced everything that had happened and couldn’t believe how unfair she was being when her tune was the polar opposite not even an hour earlier.

as always, she accused both of us of shouting and screaming despite none of that happening—classic abuser tactic—and told us we were both ~hateful~ because we pointed out some home truths about everything—another abuser tactic, putting guilt on us when we’re simply fighting back and being honest—and i told her point blank that i don’t care for my dickhead of an aunt manipulating everyone by telling them she suddenly can’t cope because she got called on her shit. when i pointed out that said aunt has also been an absolute bitch to mom AND is the one who made nana sick in the first place it got turned into how ~~hateful~~ i am. lmfao, screw it. when someone is always turning the narrative against you because they’re losing, what is the fucking point. my brother asked what happened later and when i told him he simply said “yep, she does that all the time, who could have guessed”, so here we are.

i just, i’ve been here god only knows how many times before but it’s absolutely unreal to deal with someone who won’t look at themselves; someone who will always point the blame elsewhere, someone who will always tell you you’re wrong and paint that picture. she wouldn’t dare be as openly abusive as she was when i was younger because she knows she’s lost that power now—she can’t invade my space, stand there for hours glaring with her arms crossed, taking my things, screaming at me, being physically aggressive, threatening me and getting in my face. she can’t do it because i’ve given her some real hell since i became bigger and stronger than her and she hates hearing it. up until now she’s almost been apprehensive to start on me—the last time she did, i told her she was a horrible person and refused to back down when she tried to force me to apologise the next day. then she stopped speaking to me for a few days, lmfao. but fuck me, i’d forgotten how absolutely insane it is to get into it with her. the gaslighting and mental gymnastics are insane. on my life i would rather jump off a cliff and die than ever, ever turn out like this.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMFAO THE “what a weird ass dream” start has me REELING like oh honey you’re in for a rude awakening (literally)

Ok I paused to type that ^ and was gonna keep commenting in my notes as I went as if I were annotating but then I got too engrossed and forgot LMAOAO but anyways

STOPPPP KARASU??? SHDKSHSJS I will not swerve iwillnotswerve….but gardener Karasu AHHHDGHS it’s just giving more sweetheart humble Karasu I can’t

Ok pause SHSH the way you write Otoya is so?? >>>>>>> like ok I’m back on track now I want this Otoya LMAOAOA he’s like the perfect balance between go with the flow do what I want chill Otoya and deadly assassin ninja Otoya also that deal they made>>>>>> I’m seriously waiting for Y/n to succeed

Hiiragis also such an ass I love it because it also kinda reminds me of him in canon?? But I also never was really partial to him in the manga either so I love seeing him full villain here, also the constant distinction between Y/N being like her own (?) vs associated as. Hiiragi is something I really enjoy!! Idk I just kinda love the set up like we KNOW this mc is gonna be different and a lot more selfish and independent?? Like the constant distinction in identity is so satisfying to read for some reason like it’s refreshing to see y/n not try to reclaim the name

But yeah omg otoya <333 I mean I was already an otoya fan before hollyhock but this just opened my eyes to another Otoya Avenue and I LOVE IT can’t wait for the next installment…(also just out of curiosity how many installments do you think this’ll end up being? Very excited hehe)

Eita nation has been fed thank you for the feast

-Karasu anon

LMAOO i felt like it made sense that she wouldn’t believe what had happened considering she’s prone to nightmares and the entire situation is kinda crazy 😭 like yukimiya secretly betraying her family and otoya almost killing her…i wouldn’t want to believe it either 😔💔

HAHAHA omg well i’m glad you were engrossed in it at least 🤩🙏🏻

DO YOU SEE WHAT I’M SAYING ABT THEM LOWKEY HAVING A MEETCUTE like him waking her up while she’s sleeping on the bench swing in the garden surrounded by trees and flowers is so romance novel shoujo anime coded to me 😩 unfortunately y/n ruins it by being all “i can’t trust you 😐” and “you have a stupid name 😨” and “my half brother and father would kill you if they saw what you’re up to 🫣” LMAOOO poor karasu 😓 i’m excited to write more of their interactions though!!

AHHH YESSS i’ve been doing my best to incorporate his more chill go w the flow canon personality into his role as a ninja who kills whoever he’s told to!! it’s def a balance because if he’s too unserious then it’s almost disingenuous to the story itself but if he’s too proper and grave abt things he doesn’t feel like himself anymore?? idk but omg the deal…i’m so excited to write how it all plays out HAHAHA it’s going to be super fun i think!!

hiiragi is so horrible in this story but considering he was already kind of a douche in canon i don’t think it’s too terrible that i’m writing him like this!! i agree that he’s not one i cared much for in the manga either (he only even appears in epinagi for the most part and he’s antagonizing my man the whole time so we’re automatically enemies for that) so i don’t mind writing him in full villain mode here!! and yeah for y/n the name hiiragi has only ever been used to hurt her so even though she acknowledges that they’re her family and she’ll do her best to look out for them she’s also hyper aware that she’s different and her own person. her relationship to the hiiragi clan will evolve as the story goes on and her character develops and i think it’ll be interesting to watch how much things change from the beginning of the story to the end

HOLLYHOCK OTOYA MY BELOVED 💖💖💖 he and y/n are truly meant for each other…mr “your life is a game to me” and miss “i want you to belong to me” UM?? i almost considered going back and adding the toxic relationships tag but honestly the relationship itself isn’t even that toxic (if you can set aside all the murdering and death threats) it’s just between two very questionable individuals 😭 somehow it makes it much more fun to write than if they were perfect and normal though?? and honestly makes otoya more appealing to me LMAOAOA

hmm i’m not quite sure how many chapters it’s going to be but definitely a lot!! i’d be surprised if it was less than ten although ig it just depends on how long certain things take me to write 🤔 but i def anticipate it being on the longer side HAHA idk if it’ll quite get the opportunity to join the 100k+ club as many of my other fics have but for sure it’s going to be quite a lot…we’re still in the setup phase/prologue arc almost atm?? like these are relatively small-scale conflicts compared to what goes on later in the story so i don’t see it being less than 30-40k words (although again yk how accurate my predictions usually end up being — aka not very 😟)

[kindchenschema]

greys anon back again👋uni was kicking my ass but the semesters over and im caught up now! didn’t really care for the finale/season but i loved reading ur thoughts! im also giving the show an out this season because ik the strike messed things up but how uneven things were made me long for the end tbh😭 bc if this is the writers running on empty it’s kinda embarrassing and cliche and they need to get all the OGs back for s22, give everyone closure and wrap it up on a high note. i need greys to end with dignity lmfao like that’s the bestie

& so is bailey, who was the best part of this episode (saw ur tots about her and simone and although i don’t go there—they had cute tender moments but i rly wanted simone and maggie to smooch last season & im loyal plus ive always been partial to bailey & callie lezzing out together) and amazing in the end. the fact that they’re did all that for lucas tho, laughable—simone needs 2 let that mf go already my god! ik she won’t but im choosing 2 believe they’ll free her next season bc im over it. she’s better than this) as is the fact that lucas is staying and yasuda is leaving. just nasty and cruel and lesbophobic to me specifically. hers and jules’ almost kiss moment was so intimate and convincing i almost looked up fanfic of them but i don’t think there would be any at least not yet. greys non canon lesbian ships are so under-appreciated tbh 1/3 (this is so long sry in advance!)

hey greys anon bestie <3 finally replying to you!! (same here, this one comp sci class i'm taking is like. consuming my life. but in a good way)

aww thank you ^^

girl, i've thought about this SO MUCH like from a writing/showrunning standpoint I have literally no idea how the show could end. imo it has to be some kind of a full circle moment with meredith and ellis and carousels and alzheimers, and probably derek and just as many OGs as they can get to come back. kind of like what they tried to do in season 17, only way less shit. but they would need dempsey&co back for that not to mention ellen (which btw i do not get like is she back or is she not back? wasn't she supposed to leave? like wasn't everyone freaking out that meredith was leaving? So much ado about nothing smh) so i kinda doubt that will happen

it would also be a slay if the last scene of the show is zola visiting meredith in the nursing home (a parallel to meredith and ellis) and meredith has alzheimers but there are photos of derek, lexie, cristina etc beside her bed and zola is telling her how her surgical internship is going and meredith is like "i think i used to be a surgeon once" and zola is like "yes, mom, you were" SDFGHJ or however it went in s1. but ik everyone and their mom has this as their theory for the ending so i doubt it will happen also.

AND something that would be a huge wig in orbit moment is if they already filmed the ending back in 2004 and it's meredith waking up after her one-night-stand with derek in the pilot and it's like woa.. it was just a dream.. and then derek is like hey i'm derek and meredith is like cool can we skip to the part where your wife struts in bc i wanna marry her. which might happen tbh ! we will see 😌

anyway NO I DO NOT WANT IT TO END SOON i need it to get me thru my bachelors at LEAST (which is gonna be a long time bc i'm not the brightest candle on the cake 🤠)

anyway.

Simone and maggie is also intelligent 🙌

omg yes literally after i posted my finale yappings i was like oh shit wait yasuda is leaving 😭 why would they do this to us. i don't super care about them but i like them better than helmika just bec i don't get what helm was trying to do at all, it was funny when she was all about having a crush on meredith (like, same) but she can emigrate to paris with levi now that's ok

i fully block out the fact that simone/lucas is a thing (their scenes are usually my tea breaks tbh) like i feel like my brain isn't entirely processing that info even tho i know it is technically true. i mean simone is a full on dyke in my mind because you expect me not to project onto her? with THOSE mommy issues? when she had that scene with addison in the nicu... i was like 🤔🏳️‍🌈❓ ok now kiss

[stunads]

can you ever delete memories and feelings from your brain hard drive?

bryan is so interesting

i literally can’t help falling in love with him? scientifically speaking of course

it’s just so interesting

interacting with him from this much more mature place, as someone who understands herself a lot more, and understands life a lot more, and probably him a lot more even though there’s actually so much i don’t know about him now

it’s almost like i can see the past in the present

gosh i wish i could put this in to words

hopefully this is enough for my chronicles

i wonder if we’ll ever get to unlock the mystery of who we are to each other

memories flash in my mind, i can’t see them or conceptualize them but it’s like a feeling

i’ll just randomly smile during the day

and somehow i’ll know it’s because i remembered something about bryan

i mean, i haven’t changed all that much in my core, if anything .. i have become more myself

and that girl is the same girl that fell in love with him

i’m her, heyyyy it’s me

and he’s still so him

so it’s just interesting that after all this time, it feels like no time has passed

and my brain just snaps back to heart eyes, heart boom, smiling at my phone, thinking about .. that thing we used to do

gosh i literally haven’t thought about sex in a minute

that primordial blood oath am i right

let me stop typing

this was supposed to be scientific note taking

i truly need to stress to myself in the future and any potential stalkers or future invited readers that i absolutely do not care about romance at this time in my life

i have absolutely no desire to be in a relationship

i have no relationship gas in my relationship tank

all men are insane

bryan included

i don’t even know if that’s the guy i would even want to be my husband when it’s all said and done

he has on numerous occasions demolished my heart, annihilated my confidence, warped my body image, scrambled my brain to the point where only God knows the extent of how clinically insane that relationship made me, used me for my body? , lied ?, cheated and got away with it ??? , humiliated me, many many more nightmarish things the last of which i will mention here is straight up tell me he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me lmfao

woof. a lot to unpack still lol

so

when i say scientific i mean scientific

i’m like the most normal genius girl on earth, i know future me will know if she ever needs to go back and review her field notes

that this girl is not tripping over bryan cromwell

just so curious to unravel all of these strange feelings

dreams that feel so real

the unstoppable feeling of wanting to catch up with him if it’s been too long

the undeniable truth that seeing his name pop up on my phone is still in my top favorite feelings

and let’s just say it our fucking sex was bonkers what are we going to do about that

i never want to have sex before marriage ever again stupidest fucking dumb ass idea of my retarded life thanks a lot dumb ass bryan for ruining my fucking life idiot ass

not with the sex that was awesome

by breaking up with me and ruining my life long vow of celibacy until marriage you dumb fucking piece of shit

and then i went insane and had a few accidents because being a girl is very very hard and guys don’t understand this at all and guys are very pressurey and i was raised to perform whatever tasks and fulfill whatever requests were asked of me and there are many other things that contributed to my dumb assfuckign idiot ass being perpetually retarded for a few years

not that you asked or cared piece of idiot shit

sometimes guys threaten you and throw things at you or start screaming or threaten to hurt themselves or start failing out of college if you don’t agree to hang out with them

or get you way more drunk than they got and sometimes even put things in your drink!

or fucking kiss you when you fall asleep in your own house like a fucking freak of nature

so yeah once SOMEONE you ONLY had sex with because he also believed in God and Jesus and also was planning to wait until marriage and then one day he said okay let’s go for it because obviously we are gonna get married we just can’t yet because we’re 16

when that guy dumps you forever right before college starts and he’s going to the same college as you even though he was going to penn state his whole life and said he would never go to tcnj probably just to make sure you don’t fall in love with kevin ramos

because he didn’t see or hear all of the many times you tried to tell him kevin ramos was a dare i say abusive, incredibly manipulative, scary freak that you only fell into the clutches of because aforementioned virginity taker couldn’t decide which of his fan girls he wanted to claim

when that guy dumps you before college, the guy that made you feel guilty about having premarital sex and the imminent afterlife in hell even though he pulled the trigger and you only did it because Jesus personally told you it was totally kosher because we were the most cutest couple ever, married in our hearts and in the eyes of the Lord who knew our hearts

when that guy DUMPS YOU right before you embark on another 4 years of being trapped in the same habitat, and says it’s because he doesn’t like your personality at all he is just using you for your body and that is wrong

when that happens to you, and your sacred seal is broken along with your mind body and soul

and you don’t have the protection of purity any longer

or the will to live lol

welp you get into some precarious situations and girls are taught to fuck their way out of them lest we be stabbed or strangled or punched or something

so anyways woof a lot to unpack there LOL

what was i talking about

oh right

i also only had *** with dumbass mother fucker even bigger idiot evil piece of dumb ass h**** because i thought i was gonna marry his stupid ASS because i’m so fucking RETARDED and i was legally brain dead after my last dumping and as the laws of the realm decree if i get shattered by bryan i have to fall into the hands of a diabolical lying manipulating violent psychopath

but i finally stopped being retarded

so by the power of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ through the grace of God and the guidance of the Holy Spirit i really really really really don’t want to have sex again with anyone on planet earth unless that man is my husband actually ring on, church saw, God saw, locked in

okay but here’s the crux of the issue - what if he’s trash and got a small dick and no stroke and doesn’t have beautiful eyelashes or crooked pinkies or the voice of an angel or makes those cute little faces and noises or grab me and the right way

okay some of those things i can verify pre maritally

i’ve honestly lost track of things a bit got myself a little flustered

it’s so funny how just thinking about how cute bryan is just wipes away any bad feelings i could have lmfaooo now im like girl chill out why did you pop off for 7 paragraphs he can use us for our body that’s fine

LOL i need Jesus to come pick me up fr like i need to hang up my human body in the rafters of this mortal coil like a jersey, i’m at the retarded mall of life and i need a ride home,

anyways i think i made my points for tonight’s field report

to recap

1. i love being friends with bryan

2. i hope one day the nature of our true meaning to each other will become more evident

3. i hope we both find the perfect partner and will be able to each have a beautiful wedding to exact person God made for us and that we can both be at each other’s wedding and God willing that process could happen at the same time so it’s just perfect and we can be truly happy for each other and friends with each others partners and friends together forever

4. life is so beautiful but also so scary and it makes me happy that even though many things change, i can still talk to bryan cromwell and things don’t feel scary anymore