#theyre so fucking good everything is so genuinely stupid and bad and terribly done

[cowboy-robooty]

do you like komahina

yes

[nadiineross]

so this is spiderbyte wip which i cannot be bothered to finish but i thought it would be cute n funny if sombra makes them go on a legal vacay together like they go on tripadvisor and dress up like tourists and theyre using their sick days or smth not that i think talon would give either of them sick days since its a terrorist organization.. lol ANYWAY hv fun :)

Widow has no idea how Sombra pulled it off, but she’s hardly surprised since doing unthinkable, and unthinkably stupid, things is sort of Sombra’s schtick. So, here she is, standing in a commercial airport with a neck pillow wedged around her peach-painted elbow and two 4-wheel suitcases at her hip, waiting for her girlfriend to finish taking a piss.

She is, on some level, excited for this actually legal, Talon-cleared weekend-long vacation. It’s not that she thinks she’ll get bored or hate it—after all, Sombra had organized everything and Sombra is one among maybe three people who give a fuck about what Widow thinks about things—but she wonders, sometimes, about the genuineness of her own emotions. She experiences them shallowly. Like they’re dialed down. On occasion, experiences them like a choice; a matter of whether or not she wants to expend energy on reacting to something.

Because of this, she wonders if she fakes them and does it so well, she’s fooled herself. But then what difference would that make?

Yes, she’s happy to spend time with Sombra. Always. It just doesn’t matter to her at all the how and when of it. Doesn’t feel like there’s anything significant about going to a different country with Sombra, partake in new activities with her.

To Sombra, it’s different. She’s been giddy about this for a week, constantly nudging Widow so she’ll lean over and look at whatever part of the travel plan Sombra’s putting together. Sombra feels the urge to see new places and do new things with people she likes to spend time with.

Widow’s okay with sitting in Sombra’s room, with the hip LED strip lights she sees in the “tick tocks” Sombra shows her, doing nothing in between messing around on the bed. Widow’s okay with flying to ass nowhere, Europe, to watch Sombra’s back and shoot people. That’s going somewhere new; that’s doing something new. It’s all the same to her.

But then again, Sombra wants this, so it’s automatically different.

And that’s the extent of Widow’s feelings about this.

Sombra comes bounding out the airport bathroom just as Widow considers going in to check. As soon as she spots Widow, she scowls and moves the pillow from Widow’s arm to her neck. Again.

“You promised,” she reminds Widow.

Widow looks at her impassively. Considers it.

She promised she would “get in the holiday spirit,” but that was before she had known about Sombra’s ridiculous definition of holiday spirit. Still, a promise is a promise. Besides, this was Widow’s gift to Sombra. Specifically, Widow had told Sombra that she gets one do-stupid-things free pass, happy anniversary, chérie, come back to bed.

One occasion where Sombra can drag Widow into something and Widow will comply without complaint, all within reason, of course. And Sombra picks a vacation.

Sombra, who has become a master at staring contests with Widow, having dated her for a year and a handful of weeks now, waits her out. Finally, Widow sighs and reaches up to button the donut pillow at her throat.

“Looks great, babe,” Sombra says brightly, and begins to wheel her suitcase towards the departure hall proper.

Widow sighs again and follows after her.

“Does this even count as a legal vacation if we are using fake documents?”

“Say it louder,” Sombra grumbles, “I don’t think airport security got that.”

Widow tries not to smile. She takes in a deep breath and, indeed, louder, says: “Does this even c—”

“I hate that you think you’re funny now,” Sombra huffs. “Dating me is such an ego boost for people.”

“People?” Widow muses. Sombra ignores that. Whatever. She changes tracks to something she’s actually curious about. “What’s the name on your passport?”

“Sombra,” says Sombra.

Widow squints at her. “Sombra what? You don’t have a last name.”

“Spider,” Sombra deadpans, “Obviously, it doesn’t say Sombra. Why the hell would I put that on my passport? That’s dumb. I’m very good at being a criminal, you know?”

“Yes, baby,” says Widow, “the best.”

Sombra rolls her eyes but the edges of her mouth twitch up before she can control it. Widow can’t help but smile herself. “It’s Jane Smith.”

“That… is so boring.” She wrinkles her nose. “And so American.”

“What? You don’t think I look exactly like a Jane Smith?” Sombra asks.

Widow stares at her.

“Whatever.” Sombra sniffs, snootily, and rubs a hand over the buzzed side of her head. It’s grown out a bit—Widow will shave it for her soon.

“You are terrible with aliases.”

Sombra had given her a fake passport earlier today, back at base. Widow’s now May Parker, a Canadian national since Sombra didn’t have faith in Widow’s fake accent skills and told her, quite condescendingly, to stick to French. The name was a reference to something, Widow’s not sure what, just thankful that Sombra hadn’t ended up printing the name of the first French historical figure that came to mind. Napoleon Bonaparte probably wouldn’t have gone over too well with airport authorities.

At check-in, the woman barely bats an eye at their too-nondescript names. It’s likely not that rare for people to come through airports with fake names in this day and age anyway. Probably, it’s quite rare to have terrorists doing it for vacation, but Widow has to admit their outfits don’t quite match up with that image.

Sombra picks their seats as Widow hauls their suitcases onto the belt. When all’s said and done, Sombra loops their arms together and pulls them towards security.

Sombra keeps glancing up at Widow’s face while they wait in line. It’s her only tell that she’s nervous and Widow can guess why. The sunscreen-like balm they’d smeared all over her, to make her look normal, should hold up for the duration of their flight. Though, she didn’t trust Talon scientists, she could trust their science, so she’s not worried about it.

Anyway, it wasn’t the 20th century. Most body mods were socially acceptable now. Sombra, in all her cyborg glory, shuffles past security with no problem.

It’s another half hour wait at their gate before they finally board. Sombra takes the middle seat, leaving Widow with the window. The aisle seat is, thankfully, empty. She’s not sure if Sombra did that on purpose, but she doesn’t particularly care either way, so she doesn’t ask.

Sombra reaches over and taps both of their mini-TV screens at the same time. A moment later, The Room (2003) begins playing on their screens simultaneously. Sombra makes a triumphant little sound and cuddles into Widow’s side.

Widow drapes her arm around Sombra and sighs.

//

A brief shitty movie marathon later, they’re touching down in Hokkaido, Japan, and Sombra’s tugging her gangly girlfriend out her seat. Widow’s vaguely tired and has already made Sombra promise they’re calling in a favour from Akande for a Talon plane back home after this. It takes a lot of brain power for her to keep up with Sombra sometimes, especially when it comes to silly things like enjoying bad movies.

(Sombra tells her it isn’t brain power that she is expending; rather, it’s called the emotional labour of loving someone.)

By the time they get to their lodging, Widow’s just about ready to pass out.

She pushes the first door she sees and falls into bed. Outside, she hears the rapid padding of Sombra’s footsteps as she explores every nook and cranny in the cabin.

She’s not sure how long she’s been lying down, but next she opens her eyes, the sky is dark blue and Sombra’s face is alarmingly close to hers.

Sombra grins and touches her cheeks. “Hey, you should get up.”

Widow blinks lazily at her. Then: “No.” She rolls around and closes her eyes again. “We’re on vacation.”

“We have to wipe that shit off you,” Sombra says, a note of affection colouring her tone.

She allows herself a few more seconds before she sits up with a huff and follows Sombra into the en suite. It’s a nice bathroom: a big tub, classy tiling, and there’s a big window facing a snowy mountainside, framed by gnarly trees.

note: and like i had this idea that sombra had her own agenda picking japan like mayb to hack into some mountain base but mostly i wanted to write widows skiing skin:) and they do stupid shit in the snow and eat good food and roll around in the sheets in their cozy lil cabin during a snowstorm and at the end these two who hv j been like. a pair of random tourists roll outta there in a bigass talon plane, guns equipped on the outside and everything, everyone else is alarmed, shitting themselves, but sombras j chilling in widows lap as they head back to base, blissfully unaware

[thecringefailintherye]

Melody (S.W.A.L.K) 1971 Livewatch

I have seen this movie. but not the whole thing (i got interupped the first time i watched it)... so here goes! 

movie load please

20 seconds of logos???

guitar song™

this movie is so nostalgic for no reason

Mark Lester and Jack Wild: did you mean, Oliver Twist and The Artful Dodger?

and tracy hyde shes here too

i love this movie sm wtf

can these credits end????

ok yes they can

70s film marching band scene

ornshaw drinking whiskey before band bc why not

danny is bby

mY mOtHeR dId It SiR

dannys mum is so annoying wtf

i really love tom ornshaw

run bitch run

The BB™

SET FIRE TO THE NEWSPAPER???

look at his lil face ❤

MELODY MY DAUGHTER

a gowdfish please

aww look at her 

“ive done all those things i wanna try something new” LIKE DRAWING TIDDIES? DANIEL

“ah a boy gave it to me at school” was it ornshaw, i bet it was ornshaw

BITCH YOU RIPPED DANNYS TITS DRAWING

melody girl you cant play that fucking recorder

this film has great cinematography wtf

Melody Perkins Deserves The World !!

the gang go to school

Ornshaw Gets Bullied

“the jewish boys may now leave for private study” what about the jewish girls?? there’s clearly girls in the class?? why do they have to listen to the bible

ornshaw’s porn bible

DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHO JESUS WAS???

dont smoke at school kids

okay so shes peggy, why is she credited as maureen. who the fuck is maureen

hear me out, muriel is a lesbian. noone kisses for over five minutes unless youre proper horny and this bitch is like thirteen. she also says “i dont know, i never used to kiss boys”, because SHE DOESNT. shes lying because she doesnt kiss boys. shes closeted and thats whys she says she does. also, she got angry at peggy for saying she fancied a boy.

W I C

“saucy turtles make terrible bathmats, charley” okay okay jeez

ornshaws accent is everything

The Gang sneaking through the fence what will they do

uh oh danny

AWH YOURE BARMY

thats def gonna explode later

ornshaw gets kicked off the bus

but now hes on it

ornshaw and danny have such a wholesome friendship too bad melody ruins it oh wait

you’ve heared of ornshaw gets kicked off the bus now get ready for... ornshaw gets kicked out of the strip club!

you cant get a taxi!!! watch me hoe

where did ornshaw get the chewing gum from wtf

“shes always talking about people like you...” OH OKAY DANNYS MUM IS CLASSIST

“he could do with a heart attack!” WOAH OKAY

time skip to school

oh no danny’s seen melody

“we have three admirers of the dance!” ah shit

ah so maureen is the girl in green

why is ornshaw just standing there

FREE YOURSELVES

the girl gang is hilarious i love them

Muriel Kisses A Tombstone

uh oh dannys been found out

“HES A COWARD CMON”

ornshaw just yeeted his cat

i hate dannys mother sm

assembly time, an iconic part of british comprehensive school, since covid, i cant say i miss it

danny and melody !!

DANNY PLAYS CELLO THIS IS IMPORTANT INFO

melody and her friend are there because plot

melody sweetie baby i love you but you cant play the recorder

THEYRE PLAYING IN HARMONY DKDJSKDJSJKK 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

this is cute as fuck

melody is babey

oh explosives time??

i just dubbed these kids ornshaw and the pyrotechnics crew and it fits

dannys parents are annoying

i quite literally hate them

DANNY SPILT HIS COKE ITS SUCH A SIN

“neviw”

melody girl are you okay

melody are you lying about getting raped

oh time skip to school

we’ve hardly seen ornshaws home life so when will we properly meet him??

god i fucking love ornshaw its mad

oh this is an iconic scene if there ever was one

“go on tom dance with her” oh the ONE TIME ornshaw is called by his first name

youre mad !!

“girls are a load of snotty nose little so and sos” ornshaw aro king

is ornshaw.. scared of women

whatddya mean i dont dance very well!?

is it bad i lowkey crackship peggy and ornshaw now

YOU DANCE STUPID!

no one:

ornshaw: kicks peggy in the shin because he cant dance

“you big fat fool” yikes

danny u ok

ALL ORNSHAW AND HIS MATES DO IS CREATE EXPLOSIVES DJDKJSKt

oh it worked for once

i feel so fucking sorry for melody wtf

bb 🥺

im at the bit where melody is crying while putting on her mothers makeup 

SWEETIE ITS OKAY 

OH TIME SKIP TO SPORTS DAY! 

this film is so fast were already an hour in!

ornshaw giving actually solid life advice?? are you sure this is the same movie

“you youre gonna be bloody useless!”

i literally love ornshaw so much 

FUCK DANNYS MUM

GO ON DANNY 

YES MY BOY

time skip to school 3982903843290

wtf is a young latin scholars book

lahtimah

not ass latimer, arse

i hate the latin teacher

ornshaw every second: right uh erm um uh so yes sir oh uh mhm

*ornshaw and danny shoving pillows up their underwear*

“dont worry about it!!” dude hes getting spanked by the latin teacher ofc hes gonna worry about it

ornshaw and latimah

“vacate your mouth”

“because its a silly out of date language sir!!!” hes not wrong

uh oh 

what will slapping ornshaw’s ass with a dap even gonna do???

oh hi melody forgot about you

AWH DANNY SWEETHEART

“cmon danny dont let her see you cry!” i want a friend like ornshaw man

melody is just STANDING THERE LIKE GIRL LEAVE

“you can buzz off now love, tara, tooduhloo” have i said i love ornshaw? because i love ornshaw

danny dont abandon ornshaw !!

oh this is sad

danny? danny?? danny!!!??? DANNY!!?? 🥺🥺🥺

ORNSHAW RIGHTS MAN

ive felt sorry for literally all three of these kids now

ah fuck now ornshaws having a mental breakdown in the school halls

danny and melody’s relationship is so innocent and wholesome 

this is literally so bittersweet, like we’re seeing danny and melody being all cute and happy but we know that back in school ornshaw is literally having a breakdown over them

im tearing up over a movie about schoolchildren in puppy love

“will you love me that long?” “of course! ive loved you a whole week already!”

“hes come to tea! his name is daniel!” melody hes not your pet

melodys dad seems so cool why was he arrested

donald????

i genuinely love melody’s dad 

melody dramatically eats toast

time skip to school AGAIN

OH GOD I’M ACTUALLY CRYING

melody and danny are out on a date having fun and its the same song playing as the scene earlier on when danny and ornshaw went off somewhere at the start of the movie, melody has quite literally replaced ornshaw

i have real tears rn 

they skipped school to go to weymouth

danny and melody are literally adorable man

“shall we get married?” arent yall like 12????

oh back to school they got in trouble for skipping

apparently the poor cast got spanked for real and like yikes

we want to get married :D

ITS NOT MENT TO BE FUNNY!!

leave danny alone!

leave melody alone!

ornshaw please stop

ornshaw stop taunting him this is gonna end shittily

OH SHIT 

THEYRE STRAIGHT UP FIGHTING 

ORNSHAW AND DANNY ARE MF WRESTLING EACHOTHER TO THE GROUND

okay now ornshaw is literally beating him up okay

danny this is your fault for ditching him for melody sorry

top ten best anime fight scenes

latin man is back because plot

DID ORNSHAW GIVE HIM A BLOODY NOSE

i’m sorry danny 😭😭

ORNSHAW. DESERVES. THE. FUCKING. WORLD. AND. MORE.

let melody and danny get married!

wait so if 20 is twice as old as her then shes.. ten?? i think

melody ily

“all i want to do is be happy” BABY

OH FUCK YOU MRS LATIMER

oooh

THEYRE GOING TO GET MARRIED BY THE RAILWAY 

ornshaws unnamed friend is the true hero of this movie

is this the movie climax???

run! ornshaws unnamed friend! run!

IM SORRY THE’RE LITERALLLY GETTING MARRIED I’M 😭

“we are gathered here today to join this man and woman in holy matrimony.. shaddup”

ITS NOT FUNNY ITS SERIOUS

IS ORNSHAW STRAIGHT UP MARRYING THESE TWO IS HE THEIR VICAR

HE IS AS WELL

“DICKS IS COMING!!!” as soon as they were getting the rings

RUN !!!!

ornshaw just threw the bible at his re teacher from the re scene at the start i love him

DANNYS MUM HAD IT COMING

name a more iconic trio than melody perkins, danny latimer, and tom ornshaw, i’ll wait

GO PEGGY!

ORNSHAWS UNNAMED FRIEND IS GONNA FINALLY GET HIS BOMB WORKING!

YES

GO ORNSHAWS UNNAMED FRIEND

“i’ll get you ornshaw!” dude how is this his fault its yours for unterupting the wedding latin man

again ouf is the true movie hero

wait latin man is dicks??? whos wannabe remus lupin then????

this just in: ouf is actually named stacey

oh god thats actually such a bittersweet ending

melody and danny trolleying off into the sunset

im actually crying like a baby rn

god that was such a good movie

[timegears-moved]

☕️ mmmm pokemon games specifically (not including spinoffs)

sorry this is late im terrible with actually answering asks. ill do this generation by generation. also this ended up very long because i have a lot of thoughts about pkmn.

gen one: okay so right off the bat im gonna say that i have a massive soft spot for gen one, considering blue was the first game i ever played. i do have a degree of nostalgia towards it which is why i can never be truly be harsh on these games. i know they're a mess of glitches and mechanics that make no fucking sense (seriously FUCK psychic types and everything they stand for) but it has a certain charm to it.

but even as a "kanto apologist" (which damien calls me) i can absolutely agree that the pandering is fucking abysmal. they're trying cater to a demographic who hasn't cared about pokemon in years and aren't going to pick up a new game just because charizard is in it. by doing this it feels like they're alienating the people who actually care, like "yeah ur support is nice but we want the genwunners to like us more than anything.

also on the topic of pandering is that their pandering is so half-assed too. all of this gen one content and not one shred of love for my boys victreebel or cloyster? bro i hate it here.

gen two: i dont really have that much to say here tbh. i have no fond memories of it at all considering i only played through gold once right before hgss came out. i can say that i appreciate all of the bullshit from gen one that it fixed but i have issues with johto as a region that ill elaborate on when i talk about the remakes.

gen three: honestly i never cared much for this gen. i played it quite a bit growing up but it's always been whatever for me. a lot of it just feels kind of.....bland for me. i really don't know what to say because it leaves me feeling conflicted. there's nothing bad about these games that sticks out like a sore thumb but they just don't do it for me, ya know?

i do appreciate frlg for shedding a much better light on kanto though.

gen four: okay so i'll fully admit that the sinnoh games are my childhood faves and are still my faves now but im not letting nostalgia completely cloud my judgement on this.

honestly? i think pokemon peaked with platinum. dp had their problems for sure and some of those still carried over to platinum but the scale in which platinum told its story feels so much grander than any pokemon game that came before or after it. i absolute adore the sinnoh mythos and i only want dp remakes just so it can get expanded upon, i could care less about any actually gameplay from it. ive said this before but you cannot make the god of pokemon and not do anything with it.

as for hgss, i have very mixed feelings about this one but not in the same way gen 3 made me feel because i do have genuine problems here. ive talked before about them but i just cannot stress how bad the level and pokemon distributions are. how the fuck can you make brand new pokemon for your johto region and not put them in fucking johto?

like these games are fine ig. i never cared about the walking pokemon mechanic but it literally feels like people only praise this game as the best because of that one thing that has no bearing on the actual game itself. you can like these games all you want, i still enjoy parts of them myself, but calling them the best is a huge reach.

gen five: right off the bat im gonna say that i do love the gen five games so nobody thinks im being overly critical or anything. i love the aesthetic of these games, i ADORE the pokemon here and they're some of the most fun pokemon games to play through. it's the story and characters (with the exception of n i will absolutely give credit where it is die there) that throw me for a loop.

i feel like whenever i praise the story or characters im just following the crowd here. i don't know if im just very stupid (i definitely am very stupid) or what but none of it felt as powerful as people claim it is for me personally. maybe i should just pay more attention but i honestly don't know. im definitely not saying theyre bad or anything i just in all hobestly dont get the (very sudden) hype.

uhhh i can't say much about bw2 because i haven't beaten it since it came out but i remember liking hugh and it made iris a champion so i remember them being good on those two things alone.

gen six: hohohohoho here we go. tbh i don't even know what i can say about xy that hasn't already been said. like gen one might be a huge mess looking back on it but at least it had character. xy introduced a few pokemon that i really liked and some amazing shiny hunting methods that should definitely return but that's the most i can say in terms of praise.

i dont think pokemon has ever gotten this boring before, and that's speaking as someone who clocked over 300 hours into my x save file. nothing has life (which in hindsight is ironic considering xerneas is the god of life) and i hate the way mega evolution was handled so much. i really don't know what else to say because everyone has already said what i want to but i think this has been pokemon's lowest point so far.

oras once again made hoenn complicated for me. they made hoenn somewhat interesting for me in a way that didnt capture me in the originals. i don't think they're stellar but ive seen people call these the worst ones and....why. i get that the originals are special to a lot of people and that they feel like oras did them injustice but honestly i would oras over the originals because they're just more fun for me.

gen seven: it made popplio. 10/10.

okay so i can understand why the very slow start and unskippable long cutscenes threw a lot of people off but i just don't understand so much of the hate it around other things. again i see people proclaiming it as the worst and you can see it as that from a gameplay element, but the story fucking slapped ass and i don't think amybody can or should deny that. maybe i just feel very passionately about them because they're very personal for me in helping me through a rough time in my life but i just also dont see why everybody is so mad at these games sometimes.

the fact that sm mean so much to me makes usum's entire existence hurt so much more. like wow i love abuse apologism: the game thank you sooooo much gamefreak! /s

aside from ultra wormhole jumping, my baby dusk lycanroc and the new ultra beasts i dont care for anything new usum brought. it feels like it back peddled so much by completely ruining lillie's character by attempting to make lusamine likable when the damage from the first games was already done. i hate usum they're the only pokemon games i can state that i hate. i don't know how you can take sm's well-done albeit flawed blueprints, take out everything that was good and only leave stuff that either doesn't matter or is actively harmful.

also let's go pikachu and eevee exist too idrc

gen eight: ive already spoken my piece on swsh but im gonna be more clear here. i dont think swsh is inherently bad and i can still have fun with them. i dont think the issue here lies with the cut pokedex. i could honestly care less about that and i always figured we would get to this point. the issue lies with nintendo and tpci pushing for yearly releases, forcing the devs to make yearly subpar games. i can think of so many ways they can remedy this situation: taking longer times between releases, hiring more staff at gamefreak or even splitting developments for different projects between multiple different studios. i hope that the reported low moral at gamefreak at swsh's releases is enough of a wake up call for change but that could just be me being optimistic.

i am SO sorry this ended up as long as it is but i have a lot of opinions and not enpugh willpower to keep my mouth shut

[xefrosprotectionsquad]

what are your thoughts on the treatment of the boy by Dammek?

mod spoon here !!! i know ur probably expecting like a short answer saying something along the lines of ‘its bad !!!! poor xeffy....... :(’ but im nothing if not thorough and i want to explain my feelings on the matter !!! the other mods may add on later if they please ^-^

disclaimer: i do believe what dammek has done has hurt xefros and i think that is so horrible bc xefros doesnt deserve that at all !!!! everything i say in this post explains why i sympathize w/ dammek and refuse to make judgements until we know him more. i do not excuse his behavior and i think what he has done is terrible but i think these things explain why just hating him is being unfair

first off: i see a Lot of myself in dammek. and i mean a L o t

in fact, dammek hate causes me a lot of heartache because it could easily be directed at me and the only change would have to be the name

in the past, particularly online, ive treated the people i care about like GARBAGE i just didnt know that what i was doing was bad until they would be like ‘ur a garbage person who treats me like garbage and i hate you !!!’ and then block me.

in real life........ i still kinda treat people like garbage sometimes

i say, all the time, ‘haha i treat you all so terribly why are you still my friends?’ and while it looks like im joking im really not

the thing is: its because im both unaware that im doing something wrong and that if i do know im doing something wrong i dont know the alternative

dammek seems to genuinely care about his moirail. he really really does. i have a Big Feeling that not one person has ever called him out for anything ! and that everything hes doing, while poor, doesnt look terrible to the eyes of other trolls because their society is so fucked up.

he probably had xef butler for him because xef had an interest in butlering and he was like ‘oh you like that ?? uh uh ok then we’ll do that !!!’ in like. the worst way possible

he probably wanted xef to stop playing arena stickball because it was dangerous and xef was expendable to every team. so he just. had xef do other things

he made xef that microphone for christmas, and my personal hc is that it lowers xefros’ voice bc hes trans !!! how wonderful is that

hes never said that xef should stop apologizing. did you see how upset he was when joey called it annoying ? its likely not something hes used to

dammek probably is focused on other things in his life and doesnt see the effect its happening on his moirail. and when it gets pointed out to him, its going to hurt real bad. r e a l l y bad

second off: i think a lot of people are forgetting this is alternia and are blaming dammek for some things that.... arent him

the alternia we’re used to is essentially run by feferi, who is kind and believes the hemospectrum is stupid

the alternia we’re seeing now is run by trizza, who hates lowbloods and is a tyrant

the hemocastes are a lot more enforced in this alternia ! this is likely a Big Part of why xefros thinks so poorly of himself !!! and it likely influenced dammeks poor behavior

there are no adults to help them grow. they get animals that can protect them but never speak. and popular media, which seems to mostly be trizza going ‘LOOK AT ME im perfect and if you dont think so then imma Kill You :)’

they also likely dont know what a healthy moirallegiance looks like

as we’ve seen in the comic, the quadrants are really hard to navigate !!!! and all of the moirallegiances we’ve seen have been... not great except for meowrails, and even then its kinda iffy bc of how overprotective equius is

i do believe the Ideal moirallegiance would be similar to being qpps in this world, only a romance, because i do indeed believe it is a romantic feeling

i just dont think they have any good models to base their relationships off of :/

lastly: dammek likely has severe paranoia and is running a fucking revolution and is a c h i l d (same age as me but im aware that im a child that is still growing)

dammek is an anarchist that believes no one should own anything and that there should be no ruler of alternia.

unfortunately hes a little hypocritical, seeing as he puts his sign on a lot of things and all of his guns glow his blood color, and tends to act tyrannical

but anyways, hes running a revolution in an empire that kills you if you dont mow ur lawn

if one thing goes wrong. one single thing. him, xefros, and everyone involved will get killed without a second thought

so his paranoia is understandable

he obviously uses code allllll the time because his fear is that someone will notice and kill them, and his cameras on xefros’ house and room are likely so he can make sure his moirail is safe

he randomly tests xefros just in case they have to run

xefros says that dammek is the one pulling all of the strings

thats a lot of pressure for a 14-15 year old, especially if the consequence for messing up is mass murder of you and everyone youre working with

hes also !!! a child !!!!!! doing his best !!!!!! all of his mistakes are likely because no one has taught him that theyre not okay, and hes been given all of this power and influence

hes a bronzeblood w/ a highbloods position and he is on a power trip

earth will bring him back down, jude will likely tell him hes a jerk and teach him The True Meaning Of Friendship, and dammek will realize everything hes done to his moirail has been hurting him this whole time, and he will be crushed

i know i was every time someone told me i had been hurting them for so long

-

aaaaanyways huge long super rant about dammek over, i do think that what has happened to xefros is absolutely terrible and it hurts to think about how long hes been suffering like that !!!! i hope he gets to heal from it and that joey teaches him true friendship... like gosh

[space-cops]

Every odd question fir Sangriel!!!

boyhowdy text wall ahoy. i didnt bother editing this or reading over it so oops theres gonna be mistakes. answers below the cut 0:

1) Sangriel Amato Heartspell. His name doesn't mean much of anything, besides Amato meaning beloved in Italian. San's surname was originally Keldaris (of Loretta Keldaris, wife of Gia Realdor, who took on her surname) until he changed it after his family's. problematic escapades. 

3) He had a pretty fucking nice childhood. He grew up well off, took all sorts of classes and extracuriculars, all that shit. San's actually a skilled ballerino and is quite fond of dance as a whole. One of his fondest memories is his mother helping him with stage makeup for the first time. San's worst memory is the loss of his grandparents during the attack on Silvermoon. 

5) Sangriel has no siblings but many, many, MANY, cousins. So fucking many. He grew up with all of them, so to him they may as well be brothers and sisters. All of them got along very well and though he doesn't talk to many of them anymore, they're all still on good terms (as far as he knows).

7) He and Mesdrea are childhood friends!! After the attack on Silvermoon, her family moved south towards Southshore, and his family remained in Eversong.  He had no idea whether or not she or her family had survived until he leaves home and decides to travel to learn more about the arcane. Mesdrea was part of the Syndicate at the time and he joined her there. When the organization started going off the deep end, the two bailed out and returned to Silvermoon together. 

9) He is not fond of animals, so of course they read that and immediately pile onto him. Sangriel isnt particularly good at caring for pets which is the real reason why he isnt fond of them. He'd honestly love to have a fish if he didnt think he'd accidentally starve it to death. 

11) No diet requirements! This terrible boy is a walking garbage disposal.

13) He hates cabbage and cauliflower in all forms. terrible. bad foods.

15) San got his father's skills for cooking, which is to say he's..... not the best. He isn't terrible though! He's got a handful of dishes he can cook very well! Just dont expect him to cook dinner all the time and have it be completely edible.

17) Oh fuck yes. Selfies, pictures of dumb things he finds, loooots of pictures of bodies of water esp waterfalls. Half the time he doesnt share them he just likes hoarding the photos to look at alone later. San's not shy or embarrassed by them he just doesn't wanna share.

19) San hates existential "We are stardust and eternal" sorts of things. He feels that most of the time they are disingenuous strings of words pulled out of the asses of people who think they're holier than thou. also theyre boring. 

21) He doesn't necessarily have a temper that is constant but he's very easily riled up. When he's angery he's more likely to lash out with words and snide remarks than anything physical, especially if he knows something particularly damning about the person in question. It takes a lot to get him to that point though. He'll bitch and whine and yell loooong before that.

23) San likes firm mattresses, and would sleep on the floor if mesdrea didnt insist on him having something between him and the hardwood. He doesn't snore, but is drawn to heat sources aka anyone with the misfortune of sharing a bed with him, and clings to them desperately. He sleeps with Only One Pillow, and mesdrea thinks there's something wrong with him for it.

25) He doesn't think he's terribly funny, though Mesdrea loves his sarcastic sense of humor (san thinks she's biased bc they're friends). Sangriel loves witty humor, and though he won't admit it, will absolutely laugh at a properly timed and/or worded crude joke. 

27) San frequently has moods where he feels as if he's accomplished nothing with his life (you're still so young, his mother always says!) and it throws him into a funk for a couple days at a time. He'll cry somewhere towards the end of it after everything's sort of come to a head, and he does very little to hide it. Normally he'll end up snapping at the smallest things, like not being able to open a package or dropping something on the floor. At that point he kind of just spends the day sobbing on and off until it's out of his system. He's a little dramatic but its still genuine sadness :(

29) If any teasing is done it's minimal. Normally San won't do either, but he leans towards being more protective if the person in question is someone he's fond of. Teasing would consist of a tasteful joke at most when he first finds out, and nothing more. It's mostly to try and get the person to smile, though he knows it won't always work. 

31) San absolutely drinks, and is actually terrible at holding his liquor. He gets drunk fast then crashes and burns not long after. He's actually a fairly fun drunk, and loses the insecurities he has that makes him quick to snap and anger when sober. San's a miserable person hungover and tends to spend that time hiding under blankets and pillows alone. He won't admit it but he mother hens those around him that are drunk or hungover while he's sober, though he's not above intentionally making loud noise when Mesdrea is hungover bc she does the same to him. 

33) It depends on what he's wearing. Lounging around or going out it might be boxerbriefs. Some stupid tight pants?? probably some small bikini/thong thing?? of course he wears lacy shit on special occassions though. Of Course. Who do you think We Are.

35) Guilty pleasure is thrifting, esp for clothing he can alter. A totally not-guilty pleasure is sitting on the balcony of drea's flat with a bottle of wine and tossing tiny bits of food out to the birds. he keeps score of how many pieces of food end up in someone's hair/hat too. he has to. 

37) San is actually an avid reader, mostly of non-fiction and esp arcane theory. If he reads anything fictional it's science fiction. Asshole looks dumb as fuck but he's well read. 

39) He loveslovesloves sending letters and messages to people. Mesdrea was the only person he spoke to for a long time at one point and it was only through letters. It's special to him idk

41) San's solidly Gay. Really Really Gay. He just finds?? Lots of things attractive and in no specific way/shape/form. San would say he doesn't have a type and he's right. He's pretty bad with relationships though. The intimacy that's involved kinda...bugs him.. and it mostly has to do with his own insecurities and self-worth. Maybe if he found someone that helps with that he'd? be in a relationship? But for now he's 100% fine with flings. They make him happy.

43) He's not very religious. The light's cool and all. Naaru look neat. The moon is rad so Elune is too, he supposes. An'she is chill. It's just stuff he doesnt want to concern himself with. 

45) People that don't know him see him as an overdramatic, flashy, pompous asshole and they're not wrong! He absolutely is, but that's all they see. People who have been robbed by him see a strange thief that somehow used magic to steal in broad daylight. Mesdrea sees him as someone who is actually a very loving person that is particularly good at making masks to hide who he actually is and how he actually feels. San tries very hard to see himself as someone who is good and worthy of, well, good in return. But most of the time he only sees what's wrong with himself and the things he's done and then ignores all the good, so over time he created the grand facade of this amazing illusionist thief that regrets nothing and cares for nobody and looks Fabulous™ doing it. 

47) San has a love/hate relationship with formal settings. He loves the pomp and circumstance of it all, the dressing up, all the fake bullshit and the backstabbing. He hates that his family isn't able to enjoy the things they used to, though, and that's because their father had them basically ostracised out of their social circles and then gambled all their wealth away :\\\ So he loves them, but hates that he can't share that fun with his family, so he doesn't attend anything formal.

49) The copper ring his mother gave him is most prized possession. She gave it to him on his 20th birthday. The runes on it are a small blessing, Light's Strenth. He'd been planning on running off without a word, but his mom is pretty in tune with his antics and she stopped him as he was leaving to give him the ring. His mother's fairly religious so the ring means a lot to her, and while Sangriel is not, the ring is still incredibly important. When he knows he can't safely wear it on his hand, he keeps it on a copper chain.

[mystery-snail]

hello it’s time for Whine Time ™ (kind of private maybe dont read, its just me bitching about some stuff but if you have dealt with the gross/ugly sides of depression or anxiety and you genuinely feel you have advice that might help go ahead. but i promise this isn’t anything juicy or interesting, it just felt good to vent while i waited for my homework to upload)

so ive been having some shitty fallouts after i came home and returned to school after surgery. i had tried to plan ahead (i did all my homework ahead of time, made sure i stayed in touch with teachers, got extensions, etc). but the recovery was a whole week more than it was supposed to be and i spent that week lazing around and playing games when i could have been catching up

ive been so freaked out about everything that ive completely fallen off the radar. i feel like im faking all of this and everyones going to find out that im not smart or organized or happy when they see me fail. im supposed to graduate in may and my mom wants to have a party, and she said she’d do all the planning, but every ten minutes is an email or a text demanding i drop everything and help. i tried saying i cant and she didnt even adknowledge it. i have so many projects due and appointments with doctors and i have already made a commitment to return to work tomorrow. i cant leave work again (i was gone for 2 weeks and theyre slammed, understaffed, its only a 2 hour shift etc)

my life has fallen apart and im doing stuff ive never done when im depressed. my room is full of food garbage and its starting to smell. my bed is covered in clothes but i dont even know whats clean or dirty. i dont sleep because i get so anxious and guilty that im not doing homework or working on something. my floor is a mess and i cant even make myself take care of my body. i havent brushed my hair in almost 3 days. i wear the same jeans, hoodie, and shoes every day because i cant take time to care. i cant even eat. i have been drinking meal replacement shakes and eating toast. sometimes i can eat small things or soft things, like nuts and jello. my body feels terrible but taking time to cook or even sit down and eat feels like im being lazy

my boyfriend says to just chill out and everything will be okay. but if i relax i feel worse - chilling out wont help. ill be so freaked out the whole time that i wont actually be relaxing or taking a break, just laying still and mentally planning all the ways i can cram all my obligations into my long day. i do it every night until i fall asleep, if i even manage to. then im so tired the next day that im afraid people will notice im not happy or confident or put together like they all say i am, and im gonna let them all down and make them all mad when they find out im not good at anything at all

i dont even know where to start. cleaning my room takes time i could spend on homework. eating takes too much time also, and i dont even feel hungry anyway. my stomach hurts but i dont care enough to pay attention and eventually it goes away. my homework isnt stuff i can bang out in quick succession, but ive been trying. i do a response during my break instead of eating. i read when i walk between classes. i stay up late until i cant think right and then when i try to sleep i just cant relax, so i stay up later and try to get progress done. 

i feel like i set myself up months ago with all these obligations and now im just being torn in every direction by all the expectations around me. 2 semester-long projects due in a few weeks. one semester long paper, and the next section is due tuesday. a semester long 2 day lesson plan that must be completed in extreme detail, due soon. two group projects coming up, but none of us have talked about anything, read anything, or even contacted each other. i had a group teach tonight - i had to make the whole lesson plan (and we were still late to turn it in) all night last night and didnt sleep until 5 something, and then woke up at 630 cause my mom texted me with party stuff again. now i have weekly essays to do, weekly responses, weekly online posts (and now those arne’t just single posts, they’re groups of 11 threads i have to watch videos in, analyze, and respond to. this week it took 6 hours to do them all and i have to do it all again next week). i have to read all of a book on teaching ethic so i can present that in ANOTHER group project in a few weeks. I have to distribute my big fiction piece tomorrow and i already printed it (13 copies, 300 pages total) but i realized i forgot to update it with a title and cant spare the time before class to print new first pages, so i have to stay up tonight and annotate the actual title, cross out the untitled label, and then sit through the critique on monday when everyone says it was unprofressional i didnt have a title and i get marked down

ive missed so much class and work and i can say no to anyone. i feel guilty for everything and i recognize im falling apart and this isnt okay but i cant ask for help, i dont want to, i cant make it happen. i feel like i dont deserve anything and i did this to myself, i chose this. its all gonna fall apart and im the only one to blame.

i dont even know where to start in getting control back. ive never had this kind of breakdown before. everyone keeps saying ‘oh well you had major surgery you have to relax and take it slow’ but they dont understand. they feel bad for me cause they think im someone who deserves a break, but i got 2 weeks to be lazy and do nothing. they all think im on top of everything and that i can manage more time off, but i cant. i cant just step away because if i do i fail everything. i got all A’s last semester and now everyone expects me to do it again, but ill be lucky to graduate. i have a’s right now but its all gonna fall apart soon. stuff is falling through the cracks and im trying to compensate by ignoring other stuff, like food and sleep. but im so afraid ill fumble and lose something more important and ill fail a class and not graduate. i already forgot my advising appointment yesterday because im fucking stupid and was distracted with playing on tumblr between classes

i just cant get the control back. i deserve this and i dont know how to fix it. its my fault and i have to deal with it all

my depression doesnt manifest like this. its always binge-eating and changing my life positively to fight back. but i cant fight this time. i cant eat and i cant sleep. i cant focus and i cant even prioritize all the stuff im juggling

i just dont know what to do any more.