#theyre old but kinda hold up imo

[trashsketch]

I'm now in the middle of drawing one page of a killugon comic, I think I'm having fun with it, please give me strength to finish it despite it being so short ;w; I want to slowly get back into making comics again

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

CKB hear me out. Haters will say it's fake but ....... blanche youngest child. The Victorian maid garb? He's tired of being in the shadows of those before him and is trying to set his own identity. Extreme violence? A big ol temper tantrum and cry for attention. I dare say i would lean on him being youngest child just because Lev fits the disaster middle child ALL too well 😮‍💨.

I see why some will say Lev as the youngest but i feel like he's suuuuch a middle kid like, even if he's stupid, he'd having a good time and that's all he cares about. I feel like youngests are actually more deceitful and tricky wheras middle kids are pretty true to themselves and more easygoing? Like them youngest kids are used to sneaking around and just so cunning, showing different faces (not unlike blanche who does a 180)

Like blanche, yves can also fit all 3 perfectly. He does kinda seem like the overstressed, overworked, will nag out of love, can never relax, will shoulder responsibility for you eldest child (i feel like eldest children also have a really clean aesthetic? Middle kids are either cozy wear or pop the Fuck off. And youngest kids are always flashy but in their own way and my god if that isnt blanche 💀)

Also i feel like eldest kids (yves) have a great fear or failure and losing things so theyre lowkey control freaks. Youngest kids (blanche) are oddly possessive and entitled like they think the last slice of pizza is their god given right. And middle kids (lev) are so used to losing things that they get obsessive over the things they do have, and a bit pathetic abt it if they feel it slipping away.

Youngest kid blanch really does seem like a big brat (but who cares) to me. Like he sees reader as his dead pet hamster that he accidentally squeezed to death trying to hug it but he refuses to believe it's dead so he keeps leaving food out for it and stroking it. Middle kid Lev sees you as a cute hamster and buys you cool wheels and a rolling ball and toys and sleeps with you in his bed. Eldest Yves will not allow anything to happen to pet hamster so he has a seperate temperature controlled room for it, homemade pellets, probably wipes hammies ass after it poops and everything.

This was just my random musing though and im excited to see what you end up making the order!!

Also i think i was ur 🐰 anon and i used to send in all those theories for language barrier LOL. Ummmmm the bunny thing *totally* didn't have to do with Lev, so, uh, don't tell Blanche, my latest hyperfixation 🤭 (or Cyprus because goddamn-)

🐰 anon

🐰 anon also said: Oh! Also feel like blanche would be a lot younger than the other two. Like modern au or whatever if they were all together, yves moved out when blanche was a kid (because he was independent) lev was never home bc he was always out and just kinda ended up living w one of his friends (never 'officially' moved out but he's living elsewhere) and followed the party life, and blanche was probably raised and spoiled by a family elder, making him feel like an 'old soul born in the wrong generation'. But hold onnn i didnt know therewas a blanche pt 2, lemme go read that and see if it changes things LOL 🐰 anon

🐰 anon also said: no blanche is actually so middle/youngest child coded it's insane bc i refuse to let go of middle child lev (actually i need to give bunny a reread before that too, and ofc more content on him when it comes out lol) but brooooo them youngest kids be weird as FUCK like, smth abt blanche feels like he's playing dressup, pretending and trying so hard to be this old fashioned adult gentleman, meanwhile yves actually is more calculated, composed and knows what to do for his shit. I actually initially thought of yves being the youngest but i feel like blanche being youngest fits so much better imo. Like blanche is just here to do his own shit, he's a bit selfish, and pushes for hinself. Yves puts his responsibility first and pushes for reader. Plus yves has that blonde mom in target drinking a coffee doing 3 hours of shopping in 12 minutes before her next hot yoga class and thats soooo eldest child coded. Idk something abt blanche as a person (not a character) seems so underdeveloped and child like in a disturbing yet innocent way? 🐰 anon

🐰 anon also said: "unromancable, unfuckable weirdo." No im sorry Blanche is actually the youngest child Bunny anon

Holy fuckin shit bunny anon always comign in with a banger , yess that's what im talking about them tasty brain chews i like i like

shid man like u really lay out their vibes and everything and even imagined them in modern AUs , presented evidence and cited your source like what the fuck this is such a good analysis like damn bro i fr appreciate the enthusiasm

Like all the stuff you sair fr made sense even to someone who has no siblings, its as if i had those little shits living in the same house as me and i observed the dynamic, like yeah damn Yves really fit the oldest child

Its really fitting cause if you think about it, they're all like centuries old or whatever and both Yves and Leveret are pretty youthful looking with no grey hairs- they went on their own quests to preserve their looks, Whereas Blanche is considered to be the most unkempt out of the three with his salt and pepper hair growing uncontrollably to the back of his knees, no manicures just natural long nails but he's still considered youthful cause ykno 50 year old looking man vs his actual 5 million year old age , but it just shows that he doesn't care about looking youthful as much as his older brothers

i notice the older siblings from other relatives and friends they tend to looksmaxx more than the younger ones. and they try to keep up trends, like Yves and Leveret is pretty modern whereas Blanche is fuckin ancient with his stuff, mannerisms and dressing up

and yes he is ironically the most immature (as in childlike) of them all, even tho leveret is like spontaneous and has his slipups, but damn bunny anon like ur analysis is always bangers like what the hell bro i love them and i love you

[sickknotdoom]

i LOVED cuddles' design at the beginning of v1 he was very stylized and fit the "cute little creature who is actually fucked up and evil" vibe so much, and being a molerat pretending to be a rabbit to hide his identity is a unique idea. (theres a specific drawing i think exemplifies this design, where hes with mood and old-design doom holding a chainsaw) but his recent ref he looks..kinda ugly? like his proportions are off. his legs look too long, he's too topheavy, its like he's being absorbed into the same body type as everyone else now but just shorter. i think he works so much better as a tiny evil creature that's not as humanoid as everyone else imo.

i like v1 cuddles because of that. the new ref kinda ruined that because theyre trying so hard to make the fact hes Explicitly Evil & Fucked Up With Zero Redeeming Qualities visible upon first glance to the reader. when Reading The Damn Comic would give them that info

[suzakushimon]

Thoughts on Jing Liu quest?

AHAHAHAHA (negative connotation)

u came to the right person anon, i have a lot to say...

IT WASNT THAT GREAT..... at first i spent a whole night convincing myself it was a reasonable way for the story to go but they did dan heng WAY too dirty. idk why luofu writing is so SHIT but if the current scandal is true and an employee rly has been messing w the story just to mess w the female fans, it explains a lot 💀

there were parts i liked: the art + the fight scene was a banger + how jingliu points out dan heng fights exactly like dan feng. it emphasizes how, whether he likes it or not, there are some things dh has inherited from df and he cant escape that. his appearance, his spear, his bracer, the ribbon, his vidyadhara powers, etc etc... if it wasnt for df, dh wouldnt be who he is today-- thats the truth, and its something dh can grow to accept.

but holy FUCK. the way they handled everything else. dan heng's memories. jingliu's introduction and her motives. blade's characterization. THE PLOTHOLES. just....ITS KINDA ALL WRONG!!!!!

IN MY OPINION. dan heng's whole POINT is that he doesnt remember his past life/his "past". he considers those memories as "not his", and asserts himself as his own individual person without them. its IMPORTANT he doesnt remember anything + that he doesnt NEED to bc this way he contrasts march 7th and the trailblazer, who also dont have their past memories-- but those 2 WANT to remember, are actively trying to, and they DO consider their past memories/past life as part of "themselves". whereas dan heng runs from his past and tries to find his "true self" without it, march and trailblazer run towards theirs, trying to catch glimpses of their "true selves" through it.

SO THERE'S LITERALLY NO REASON HE HAS TO REMEMBER DAN FENG'S PAST. it completely messes up his character arc/the message his character is trying to send!! they backpedaled so hard on their stance towards dan heng... first it was "only u can determine who u are, no one else; the expectations others hold for u dont matter" and now its "u are him no matter what u do, these sins are yours". like WHAT???? jingliu's quest just made more people equate dan heng with dan feng when the story is SUPPOSED to emphasize that they r DIFFERENT PEOPLE💀💀💀💀

dan heng did decide to face dan feng's sins, but he's NOT a part of the quintet. he's a WHOLE NEW PERSON. so why was he invited as a part of the quintet, but bailu wasn't?? its like theyre saying bailu is a whole new person, but dan heng is still dan feng, WHICH GOES AGAINST HIS CHARACTER THEMES(i am silenced and forced to sit down) anyways imo if bailu didn't have to attend the worlds worst high school reunion, dan heng shouldn't have had to attend either!!!! THIS AINT HIS PROBLEM. DAN HENG GET BEHIND ME!!!!!!!!!

his convo with blade at the end was so ooc it killed me. like, a little walk with his past life's old friend, and suddenly he's willing to forgive blade's literal years of stalking and attacking him??? now hes willing to play along with the vengeance he spent his whole life insisting was directed at the wrong person???????? i only chose that option bc the one on top sounded so wimpy/out of place it also felt ooc to me 💀 he wouldnt show weakness to blade, but there's no way he'd be that accepting either. maybe 3 years later and x patches in, but not NOW...

and jingliu. ooooh girlie. JINGLIU. THEY DID HER SOOOO FUCKING DIRTY. she's a new character. casuals/people who dont dig through lore don't know anything abt her except that shes jingyuans teacher. so why is her INTRODUCTION a fucking CONCLUSION TO HER CHARACTER ARC???? shes already DONE wandering and finding an answer in her heart. shes already DONE deciding whether or not to keep running or face her past. now shes mourning for a PERSON WE DONT EVEN KNOW. we watch her get closure for her dead girlfriend. BUT SO WHAT??? WE DONT EVEN KNOW EITHER OF THEM!!! SEEING HER GET CLOSURE MEANS NOTHING TO US. ITS JUST AWKWARD. why was her INTRO her fucking CHARACTER ARC'S CONCLUSION!!!!!!! they should've made her quest like luocha's, where all we did was speculate and her real motives remained a mystery. then we couldve been spared from this shitfest!!!!

the difference in quality between belobog story and luofu story is insane!!!! like, just compare luka's quest to jinglius....hello??? its crazy how unsympathetic they made her. it was literally "tell not show" instead of "show not tell".

anyways im just upset at dan heng's treatment. like, this character has a clear message/direction they were going for, but jinglius quest kind of stomps all over it, and her quest was supposed to introduce her but her introduction flopped hard. she was so much cooler when we saw her during yanqings quest and she was half insane. its awkward to mourn for someone we dont even know and its awkward to watch someone we dont know mourn. and, ngl, it rly felt like they only added dan heng in there bc they want more ppl to care abt the quintet. that whole quest couldve been through jingliu's pov where the reunion only happened between blade, jingliu, and jingyuan, so why wasn't it??? as opposed to those three, dan heng already moved on from the past. it was awkward for dan heng and for the audience💀

tldr i had high expectations bc i thought hoyo cared abt the quintet but not only did it flop it also dragged dan heng's characterization through the mud

[angstflavoured]

YEAS IM SO GLAD PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT THIS. I had the exact same thoughts while reading the book. I was thinking abt it the other day too cus I see a lot of comics where the Pines family interacts with Bill post Weirdmaggedon and as funny as a concept that is, all the Pines family HATTEESSS HIS ASS. Like at the end, they were all like dude if we see your ass again, we're fucking killing you. do not step foot back on earth.

but fords page like... idk, it gave off a different energy to me. I definitely do not think he would ever just forgive Bill, that much is apparent on how he treated him during Weirdmaggedon with absolutely no remorse or leeway. BUT.... Ford is a STUBBORN MAN. I mean come the fuck on, even after everything that happened, he was mad at Stan over his stupid fucking college. like no one give a fuck anymore dude you were in a portal for 30 years. but also yes hes not cruel; when Dipper fucked up and lost the rift and Mabel gave it away, he didnt get mad at either of them for a second because they admitted they were wrong snd knew it amd there was no changing it, and being harsh toward them wouldnt change the outcome. mistakes happen and ford knows that VERY very well. cus hes kinda fucking stupid sometimes. he believed and got tricked by bill so easily like oh brother

I think that if Bill ever comes back and is the first man to admit he was wrong in some way.... I think that Ford would be willing to hear him out. NOT forgive him and just let him back in his life, but he wouldnt just cast him away. Because he does have that morally grey area where he wants to learn and is curious, like Bill fucking died dude cmon. and also hes probably more confident that he could control him now.

and i think that would be a huge point of contention between Ford and the rest of the pines because all of the rest of them are pretty much morally sound. Even Stanley. As much as hes a con man, hes neverrrrr been a killer. and hes very loyal and true to what he cares abt.

Even when Ford was trying to get Dipper to stay in gravity falls, he was being fucked upppp man. its always pissed me off. Like he was getting this 12 year old in life or death situations where he DID almost die in front of him! it was horrible and stressful and traumatizing snd he was praising Dipper for it and telling him to not let his sister hold him back from greatness.

You can see a clear difference in the way that Stanley is towards the kids when the zombie karaoke thing happens. He tells them to get back and not fight and hide to be safe. Despite his flaws, hes much more morally sound AND stable than Ford imo

so i think that all of the pines would be so fucking ready to shoot bill into space and never see his ass again bc they dont care. they just think hes a joke. they dont lie awake at night thinking about him anymore because theyre confident they could defeat him again...

but.... i dont think ford could say the same. and i think that hed want to handle bill a lot differently, some shit like caging him in their basement so he could interrogate him and the rest of them would be ljke ?!?!?!? no?? we just want him gone where he cant hurt anyone.

Bro, what the fuck?

No wonder Bill fell hard and assumed that Ford would be into causing the apocalypse together with him. If my man Ford was dropping casual lines like these in Bill's presence, no wonder he would assume that this was a man made of co-galactic-chaos-god-king material.

I love how TBOB turned Ford's "I was an innocent and naive scientist tricked by a cruel master manipulator" into "Oh, he was definitely tempted to go down hand in unlovable hand!" Like yes, clearly he still has moral framework that Bill doesn't, but I'm sure that there are dark hours of the night where Ford almost wishes he didn't.

[jiye0ngs]

Hello👋 i see you are currently taking request, so i'm gonna send you one. Can i have some headcanons with the MCs where they have a crush who has an insanely powerful awakened power BUT has a weak body? And she is constantly sacrificing herself? (Inspired by Cale, Dokja, and Yoojin's character)

P.S. I don't want to be demanding so if you find this quite hard gor you to write, then you don't have to

hi! it's alright ahaha, no worries!

note: this might be a little long, so everything is kept under the cut!

JIWOO would most likely be worried All the time. i could see jiwoo as the type to go hey!! are you okay!! what happened!! (cue worried Hug) all the time after his crush just disappears when she goes off to sacrifice herself in a situation. he wants to look out for her always, in all ways, and take care of her as much as possible.

it's pretty interesting to think of jiwoo's character as a whole too, imo, since he is Also someone who's constantly sacrificing himself, and (much like kdj, cale henituse, yujin, and his crush), has self-deprecating qualities. on more than one occasion she’d probably go,

crush: you worry about me all the time, but jiwoo...don’t you do this too??

jiwoo: yeah but this isnt about me!! stay focused queen!! hydrate and get some rest!!

overall, theyre both just hand in lovable hand. holding hands as much as possible so no one sacrifices their self anymore.

KAYDEN is pretty confident in his crush’s power and strength, but he is very much looking out for her. as we’ve seen with how kayden pretends to ‘not care’ for jiwoo in the webtoon then proceeds to go eliminate anything that harms jiwoo, it’s safe to say that he’d do that again for the person he’s crushing on in a heartbeat — maybe even in a much more intense way.  

i like to think that an activity they both like is training. as they’re both very strong individuals, they can go all out on each other. kayden always encourages her strengths and makes sure to work through her points of improvement together, especially on developing a stronger stamina, so that when she Does go to sacrifice herself, at least she can withstand it a bit more. (kayden is her no.1 supporter and no.1 fanclub president, no matter how much he tries to deny it. he’s so immensely proud of her.)

very much a simp. do not underestimate how much kayden can be a simp for his beloved. you know how ken from barbie life in the dreamhouse says “my barbie senses are tingling” every once in a while? yeah. kayden kinda does that too 😭 just as she’s ready to go all out to sacrifice herself again, boom — kayden break is there. he takes her home, fusses over her, and he makes sure to lift her spirits up. when his crush points this out, kayden tries (and fails) to not get flustered.

crush: you missed me, didn’t you? that’s why you came running to get me.

kayden, tomato fucking red: no i didn’t? lmao what r u saying?

JISUK pretends not to be worried but, much like kayden, is secretly always right by her side. always keeping one eye open just in case. when she’s around he’s always like mehh okay fine whatever but like.. once she’s gone he’s all .. “omg? where are you? where’d you go? yo? hello?” 

also, jisuk (not so subtly) constantly hypes her up. again, much like kayden, he knows that his crush feels like she’s always lacking (even if her power is tremendous and used to its greatest potential), so he always wants to let her know that he has her back. it’s just some good old sincerity from yoo jisuk. 

(is not comfortable with open hugs or physical forms of reassurance right away, but i like to think that he does hug her after one incident where everyone thought she really sacrificed herself for Good and like . when she pops out of nowhere with, i’m alive ahaha what’s up? jisuk does not hesitate to cling on to her.)

WOOIN — the sweetest ever. he’s always open and softer with her, and he doesn’t hesitate to tell her to take care of herself or do his best to get trouble out of her way (even if he’s a little embarrassed about how whipped he is sometimes). a mixture of worried and trusting —  he knows she can fend off anything that hinders her without even batting an eye, but he really does not want her to just sacrifice herself so easily like that. 

wooin’s duality can come into the scene too, i think. at one moment he’s having small talk with her so she can rest, then the other moment he sets off to go and personally destroy the thing that almost made her sacrifice herself in the first place. then he’s back to bonding and resting together.

after jiwoo, wooin would also be most likely to not hesitate to sacrifice himself in return. 

SUBIN treasures her above so many things, so i think it’s not gonna be unlikely for her to step in when her crush is getting ready to surrender herself again. dotes on her a lot, and fusses over her too — at every moment possible, subin wants to make sure she’s free from any wounds/scrapes/hunger/lack of sleep. subin adores her crush so much, so it’s understandable that she’s a little down whenever her crush puts herself down, too; subin doesn’t hold back when she wants to praise or comfort her. 

i think sparring and training together would also be their go-to hobby. subin goes easy on her most of the times, which ends up in her crush going “girl i’m not made of glass you can go all out on me!!” but subin can’t. even if she did, her crush would win anyway, which just fuels subin’s infatuation w her ahahaha. 

hides her worries in playful gestures and lighthearted conversations. she wants to be someone that could remind her crush of how she (crush) is deserving of so much love. subin would really stick by her side through anything that could happen.

SUCHEON (including him because i couldn’t resist) - The pinnacle of “idc just go and do ur thing” and then once she Does do her thing he goes.. “wait. wait. where are you. if you actually sacrifice urself im gonna Get You.”

also the pinnacle of pretending he doesn’t care but actually he does. actually he was up all night trying to look for her when she disappeared after an incident. actually all his problems disappeared when he saw her again.

this one was interesting, and it was really fun to think out how each of them would react! thanks for the request ~ 

[thisdreamplace]

ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

[ace-apple]

fuck it, rambling abt c!tommy time because i see myself in his trauma way too much lmao (and by rambling, i mean RAMBLING like this will probably be incoherent)

(warning for talking abt trauma and trauma responses and stuff like abuse both physical and emotional, manipulation and death)

ive seen a couple times on my dash that tommy’s character is all tell and no show, and while im absolutely not saying its not a fair criticism, although i feel like the more recent trauma responses to things like taking damage seems to be him slowly falling out of that habit imo, i do think that there is context for some of those “empty promises” of change.

he was never the hero in his head. people just thought he thought he was the hero because he got himself into stuff all the time. 

one thing i feel like people kinda seem to ignore is that the discs arent just some random thing he chose to care about because his character needed some sort of motivation. its UNDERSTANDABLE why he’d care about them. they hold memories, theyre sentimental. they mean something to him. theyre comforting. i think theyre comfort items of some kind. and thinking of it like that i can actually really understand the distress of having them taken from a neurodivergent lense. (disclaimer, this isnt about saying c!tommy is neurodivergent, its just a parallel ive noticed as an autistic person and i think is an important angle to consider when talking about the discs as more than just a mcguffin)

and to have something that has so much meaning, so much personal value stolen time and time again, and then having that desparation you feel for wanting it back undermined and even belittled time and time again, i can only imagine how much that alone is traumatic. i dont think just seeing the discs as a mcguffin is fair because thats just the problem. everyone else except for tommy, maybe tubbo and MAYBE dream if you squint hard enough just sees them as a mcguffin. a means to an end. something that only matters because tommy’s goal is to get them back. because its what motivates him. 

now onto that whole “empty promises” thing.

a criticism i see of c!tommy a lot is that he promises to change but never does. and while i do somewhat agree from a writing perspective i do think it actually does manage to make sense in context if you think about it.

changes on the server are usually immediate. lmanburg was blown up with a press of a button. dream leading tommy out of lmanburg happened in a single moment. dream blowing up logstedshire happened in a single moment. theres buildup to those changes, yes, but the change itself is immediate and drastic. schlatt died in a single moment. it was all in a single moment.

but thats not how human beings change as people. 

and i think the other characters have been living like this to the point where they dont really GET that. because all theyve ever known is immediate change thats drastic and usually brought on via violence.

so when tommy doesnt change immediately, when he doesnt make good on all his promises the moment he promises them and falls back into old habits and lashes out they just give up on him. he’s the problem, right? cuz he’s the loudest, his discs have fueled wars, he burned down georges house, he did this this and that. they ask him to change. but then dont wait for him to have a chance to do so and then just decide he needs to die because he hasn’t become a different person in 5 minutes like lmanburg or logstedshire did. 

and he’s not even in an environment where he CAN make those changes anyways. peacetime has been happening for MAYBE 2 months but things are still constantly going on. trauma thats been simmering underneath the surface for so long coming to the forefront ESPECIALLY after his death and subsequent ressurection. his whole life he’s been forced into war after war, conflict after conflict without rest. how can someone change under that kind of stress? people cant work on their flaws and become a better person when theyre being manipulated and abused out in the middle of nowhere under intense isolation. people cant change when theyre in the middle of a war. people cant change when all people do is get mad at him. 

theyre mad because tommy isnt changing like the land around them does. because they dont realize that people dont change like that. 

theyre not “empty promises” when youre not even given the time or space or patience to make good on those promises.

the collective mindset of the server, the culture of a place that thrives off of constant war, wants him to fail. 

[oathofkaslana]

#it was the only game i knew from hoyo so i was like oh yeah maybe the companys just kinda shit at it but then i played honkai and its like#oh. no this is just a genshin problem okay.#<- oversimplifying it i know the issues w it and ive been trying to see how i would balance it if i were doing the same thing w the same#format.#mhy criti#AND ITS NOT LIKE HONKAIS THE PEAK OF WRITING EITHER.

comparing the two honestly made me appreciate genshin more though in a weird way. like properly acknowledging the use of like in game propaganda and historical texts and folklore is so fucking cool to me. the fact that the artifact system holds so much lore.... i think its a really really cool way to deliver lore in an open world game yk where you are new to this world!! i like how it caters to your own experience! my main problem lies w like. the archon quest and character writing which ive talked about before.

like imo the archon quests are just. so spaced out which, as an old player who's memorys shitty for mental illness reasons, that kinda sucks. and to new players, i can imagine it can get repetitive or overwhelming w the extra content like limited events or story quests or world quests. yk what i mean like it feels unfair to judge genshin's story from the archon quests alone when its story and lore is not just contained to that but it also sucks for anyone who literally just wants the story being told through the aq.

like hi3 part 1 open worlds dont really have this problem bc they're always contained to a particular chapter of the game.

the disproportionate amount of five star to four star units also kinda sucks since every five star has their own story quest that markets them. (i cant speak much for this in hi3 bc i haven't gotten to part 2 yet so i dont know how theyre handling it up to there but part 1 S ranks dont have this issue bc theyre integrated into the story lest their yk. from a bubble universe). which very easily leads to some loss of focus in the story yk.

its like theres multiple ways they've been trying to write the genshin characters where it considers the game's actual plot (through the archon quests), the nation's plot and lore (archon quests, events, world quests, dailies), and then the character's actual narrative (story quests, hangout quests). and sometimes all three are important and thus they're all added to the archon quest whether it be through like. requiring doing their story quest or the archon quest focusing on them (ex: the archons, scara, yoimiya, kachina, etc.) but bc of the overlap the breakdown is just not as cohesive as i wish it was 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 in comparison, hi3's character writing only really has the lore to rely on since the manhua's and other things are actively important to the story and understanding it bc you the player are learning alongside the characters rather than playing as a character! and because of that, i feel like the characters have a much clearer purpose/direction which is sooo important when it comes to making all the correct players play a role in the narrative!!!!!!!

playing hi3 made me realize just how low the writing quality is for genshin which is impressive since i didn't hold genshin's writing in high regard before this.

[nodelinquent]

an obnoxiously long liveblog where i react to the swedish dub of the steven universe movie (warning: i actually like dubs and wont constantly complain, sorry).

"come live with us in the palace, you can stay here FOREVER" jesus christ lmao

steven's voice finally fits lmao

wait it's sadie THRILLER in swedish????

some of these rhymes are impressive but hus and ljus? not great gang fdsjkhf

wow ok the lyrics for steven's part in here we are in the future is uuuh not great??? like they threw words in at random

FUCKING.... PäRLAN..... hate that still

they didnt translate homeworld..... im crying why is the dub LIKE THIS....

BUT KINDERGARDEN SHOULD BE TRANSLATED I SEE HOW IT IS LMAO

i do wanna show this movie to my nephew, he really liked watching the su clips i showed him back in the day.... i think it's the bright colors and singing honestly lmao

OK SHUT UP EVERYONE SPINEL IS COMING!!!!!!!!!

OH.... idk if i recognize this voice actress?? she sounds so cute

amethyst just said "pucko" and i feel blessed lmao

who IS this girl??? i like her but WHO IS SHE

lets hear her sing ahhhhhh

"ive listened plenty of times to steven's refrain, oh how fun it is to finally meet pink's gang" I LOVE THAT.....

the song is a lil meaner to steven specifically i kinda love it lmao

the actress does a good job kinda copying spinel's voice and laugh without overdoing it, i think? it's nice i like her!!

they missed the opportunity to almost have greg say "shit" and i will never forget, never forgive.

god the way they translated some of these lyrics makes it even MORE confusing to understand what's happening lmao

i recognize ruby and sapphire's voice actresses, veterans

theres actually a lot of talented veterans in swedish su, even if ppl complain all the time abt them lmao

like man steven's voice actor is finally allowed to emote now that he doesnt have to sound like a baby all the time

idk how i feel abt bismuth... i dont think ive heard her before so it might just be like, shock fhshjdshfds

bismuth's voice is very interesting??? she seems to have a lisp or smth? man i kinda like it?? too bad she has to sing THE WORST SONG IN THE MOVIE..........

"krullhåriga" is accurate yes but god they should have used "lockhåriga"....

"isn't it love" in swedish is very good, i have no complaints

i wonder how much of the cast is woc

one of my favorite songs is coming up ahhhhhhh

oh it's cuute.... the "no matter what"-end part could have been stronger but it's good!!

"what are you doing here now huh what?" like those old anime dubs...

they used "backa undan" but "håll dig undan" would have sounded more natural imo

"i'm back you nut" again, im blessed

half of the time i cant tell if the written lines are bad or if it's the actors dinking them up and no one bothering to fix it

YEAH IT'S SADIE THRILLER????? im crying that makes no sense lmao

man am i excited to hear steg

"disobedient" is also okay fjsdhfds

i wonder if these are on swedish spotify fdshkfsd (theyre not and never will be)

OOOOOOH I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! good voice

"independent together" is VERY GOOOOD AHHHHH they're using a word thats more like "unbound/unfettered together" and thats very sexy lmao

OPAL??? her voice is omg??? not prepared. it's good tho lmao

they dont use happily ever after, instead they say "promising future" and idk how i feel abt that

we're getting to HERE IN THE GARDEN

theyre so hit and miss with the lyrics in swedish dub su so im very scared

HOMEWORLD im still not over that lmao WHY DID THEY NOT TRANSLATE IT?!?!?

here in OUR garden????

"och sen så log hon, till min förtjusning, ögonen blänkte, det var sån berusning" ("and then she smilled, to my delight, eyes shining, it was such an intoxication")  is actually SUCH a good translation ahhhhh

i quite like "gled iväg" for "drift away" too... it's the word we use for things like "slip out of my hands (gled mig ur händerna)". like she just WATCHED pink slip out of her hands.... ahhh

"she doesn't exist anymore, only the son is left, what am i waiting for now?" MAKES ME VERY SAD LMAO

"i feel so RAW" DANG....

overall "drift away" was also good, nice job ya dinguses

i wish there were subtitles bc it took me several listens to realize spinel was very quickly shouting "JUST POUR SALT IN MY WOUNDS WHY DONTCHA"

"Found" is interesting bc they make it sound like Spinel needs romantic love and not like, general love fdjskhfdsk also instead of found it's "needed" which is hm.... i mean.... a lil messed up fdskjf

i rly like connie's voice, idk if ive said that yet

spinel's voice actor cant quite be as unhinged as og spinel, but she's trying and she's good!! we stan!!!

"true kinda love" is also good, they say "cause i believe in love" which is cute... excited to hear steven's lil bit in it

wow... steven's bit was bad, very disappointing.

steven's voice actor is so good wtf??

why did they use "förgöra" (destroy) instead of kill??? the cowards at swedish CN can fight me

theres no good translation for "change" in swedish, which is very unfortunate for this bit of the movie kfdskdsfhds

steven's swedish voice actor obviously does not hold a candle to zach callison BUT it's extra bad when he sings lmao

ok i REALLY love the lyrics they did for "change" like good job gang i wanna learn this version and sing it all the time

"let us adore you reprise" is also good, now it makes sense why they used love like that in "found", so it'd match up with this

ok steven's voice actor could pull off the high notes for "happily ever after reprise" but he missed it so many other times bfdkshfhdskds DO RE-TAKES PLEASE SWEDISH CN I BEG???

overall this dub was good, i think?? at least they didnt censor any queers this time fdshjdsfjkfjds

[maddiefriendlovesbilly]

Spencer x Ghost?

Spencer x Ghost

(AAAAA- it has been months since you sent this to me, and all i can say is im so sorry) Side note I have my friend @lethalbreadkills helping me with this one!

For reference: Maddie (maddiefriendlovesbilly) is green, Jimmy (lethalbreadkills) is red (((its 4:30 at the time i have joined this so im dead braincell wise sorry yall))) and Orange is stuff we decided together :3

Also this is so very chaotic im so sorry for this anon but this has been in my fuckin drafts for SO LONG and this is the only way its getting finished (its now 5 am uwu) im so sorry for all the shitposting i do its a mess. I shouldnt have been allowed here. (we finished at about 5:30 am its hell <3)

Sphost? Ghencer?? Sphoster??? I adore and despise them all equally.

We have decided that it should be BeanieGhost

Anyway I think this ship is really cute

They’re both so neurotic I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue

One of them starts a rant on some topic and the other joins the hell in

I’m an advocate of LETTING SPENCER INFO DUMP BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT OKAY

And Ghost would let this dream come true???

I would die for both of them and if Spencer told me I had to die I wouldn’t even complain, no questions I’d just be like “Aight.” I trust him that much.

(Not sure I trust Ghost’s judgment enough to do that unquestioningly; sorry Ghost)

Back on topic

I can’t imagine these guys on anything that comes close to society’s definition of a date

It’d be more like “hey you wanna come on this hunt with us?” “maybe, depends if there’ll be snacks” or like chilling in Spence’s room binging the entire star trek: original series in one sitting or “oops sorry about that level 11 entity that attached to my soul and is now wreaking havoc in your house, wanna make out later to make up for it?” “Fine but you also have to play three rounds of Call of Duty with me afterward”

They wouldn’t be romantic often but like highkey? I can see them throwing themselves into the line of fire for each other with a recklessness only they could survive

We can’t forget that Spencer is a more than 60,000-year-old overpowered demon/god/entity/thing, which, yes, could throw a slight wrench in this ship for multiple reasons, but I choose to make angst out of it instead.

Side note: Ghost is a chronic conspiracy theorist (and you can’t tell me otherwise) and every once in awhile Spencer will offhandedly say something like “Y’know I helped the Egyptians build the pyramids” and Ghost just goes fucking feral.

Look, I’m not saying Spencer IS touch-starved and most likely has issues creating and developing relationships and therefore avoids interpersonal connection, especially offline, but I AM saying he is prime material for it. (thats a lie thats exactly what shes saying don’t believe it) (I’m projecting okay dont judge me) (loser imagine projecting)

Imagine with me for a second: Why does Spencer willingly stay with a family who locks him in their basement with only minor complaining? He’s a near all-powerful entity just released into the world for Spence’s-sake - If he wanted to, there’s no telling what havoc he could wreak! So why doesn’t he? Why would someone so powerful, so terrifying, so dangerous that a group of people decided to seal him away forever stay with the first family he finds in sub-par conditions for years - especially someone who’s seen to be as high-maintenance as Spencer? Let me hit you with a theory: He’s chasing the feelings of validation, safety, and love - no matter how rarely it’s shown - that a family can provide. Being socially isolated for even a few years can do a number to a person’s psyche (I should know, I’m projecting onto this character right now), let alone thousands.

Now maybe Ghost can’t match thousands of years in isolation, but damn if he doesn’t have a few years of crippling loneliness on his record too.

I can see the two of them learning how to be vulnerable around others together, emotionally and physically; learning how to open up and how to talk through issues; and some third point, because points are better in threes.

(May I suggest that these losers are both trans but thats just me adding in my own projection lmao)

(You absolutely may)

Imagine the conversation thats just “so i have a murderer in my head thats an ass” “rip to u ig sounds like a you problem :///”

imo spence has trouble expressing emotions other than like,,, annoyance and haughtiness, its like sort of his go-to defence, so showing Ghost his emotions is a big step for him

I hear you, and i say yes good. (found this one headcanon that i kinda live by where he was uh, either autistic or adhd i dont remember but theres that too) OH yeah that would be at thing huh. Spencer: *is emotionally vulnerable @ ghost* ghost: oh shit im trusted??? Oh fuck uh.

Yeah so like…. Ghost and spence showing emotion at eachother is kind of :flushed: ghost be like: whats an emotion. Imagine having emotions fuciiing loser hhaha,,,, *laughs nervously*

Ghost is also very emotionally distant with most people so it would probably be like “what??? The fuck?? Emotions?????? You have those???”

Ghost and Spencer be like *gay*

So another idea is that maybe Spencer realizes Ghost doesnt play any games [like the uncultured SWINE he is] and decides he must [remedy] this and so he introduces him to like, nintendo first. (some bitches thought that said nintendo fortnite. Im bitches) and theyre playing like, mario kart or smash or smth and Ghost gets really [fuckin into it]

Ghost and spencer: *literally in eachothers laps playing fucking wii tennis*

Spooker: what are the- *TOAST FUCKING SLAPS A HAND ACROSS HIS MOUTH* shut up you dont wanna know what happens when its mentsonssbfdjfsd (sorry i had a stroke uwuwuwuw)

(Theyre in denial we don’t judge in this house)

They will not hesitate to play dirty either, they will straight up push each other over and vaguely flirt

Ghost is losing and straight up fucking goes “ur hot” and spencer actually dies and boom ghost is the winner. sparkle emoji Magic sparkle emoji

“I am Not a HomoSexual:™:” “Yeah, sure you aren’t” “Screw off”

Pet-names-ish: Asshole, Gaymer-Boy, casual insults, Mr. Spirit Bitch, Mistake, Loves Ghosts More Than His Boyfriend What A Fucking Loser aka Gay-ass

Pros:

They both open up a lot most likely. Gain someone to trust since they’ve sort of been through the same things (though on much different scales)

I can see soft hours of hanging in each other’s bedrooms

Spencer is a tsundere you cant tell me otherwise youre just a coward if you disagree

So is Ghost so this can only go well

Every time Ghost has to solve a case at the Acachallas Spence is just peaking out from his basement like “the fuck is this?? Hot Man??????”

Enemies to lovers 500k (Gets Hot and Steamy :flushed: NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!11!!!!! 18+!!!!!!! GAY LOVE StORY!!!!!!) Lemonz!!! Made from teh Sexiest of Wattpaders UWUWUWU YAOI Boys Love don’t like don’t read!! (this is so fucking stupid jkfnd) I hate this with a passion Q^Q. All my years of being a basic watpad fanboy have helped me to the moment i bring maddie to tears

The steam is just like,,,,, holding hands and being angy all the fuckin time the steam is literal because their anger translates into actual steam

Cons:

Their angst has nowhere to go and it just sits between them like two raccoons at a dumpster-style mexican standoff

They really start off hating each other huh. Like, I know this can still lead to healthy relationships but neither of them are very good at healthy relationships with people he hasn’t known for his Whole Life so that’s an Oh No.

They totally feed off of each other’s stupidity (but this could be seen as a pro too so take that as you will) as well as anger - im talking one-upping each other kinda shit

Its ridiculous honestly how intense it gets, like they straight up need intervention sometimes because they dont realize they can just STOP

Conclusions:

I think this would be a relationship that would that a lot of time and hard work to make work, but i think in the end it would be really super cute!! Like it would make no fuckin sense to anyone else but somehow they’d understand each other and help each other through their similar issues. Also theyre both big nerds in different ways and i think they’d have just ranting sessions back and forth over and over and it would be soft!!!!! So yeah, i think it would work, at least, i want it to :D

So. Maybe?? I feel like it could, but they’d need to work pretty hard to make it healthy and not constant fighting. Could be stupid amounts of cute and wholesome but also could be stupid amounts of oh no and pain, depending on how the two act. If they learned how to get along with each other and work past their differences it could be super cute and soft. Just a very, er, bumpy beginning. And middle. And end. (this makes me very nervous,,,,why did you mention an end) (wouldnt you like to know weather boy) (TvT) UFDUNS bumpy but soft . Agreeing with the loser gay, want this to work it’d be interesting :3

[hhhongseok]

PENTAGON: First Impressions VS Now! 

   since it's ptg's 3rd anniversary, and i've been an uni for over a year now, i thought it would be a fun idea to compare my first thoughts about all the members to how i think of them now! i got the idea from i got7 inspirits on youtube, so check them out if you're interested!

OT10

then:

I first heard "gorilla" back when it released, but since i avoided stanning rookies at the time- i decided to give it some time before stanning. flash foward to august 2018 where my interest is piqued again. at that time last year, i had thought that they were pretty cute but having literally only heard gorilla and then shine, i was caught off guard by their sound change. It wasn't bad per say- just different. overall, i knew pentagon would be a group that i'd like- but more along the lines of a casual thing. 

now:

y'all already know how whipped i am for these idiots!!! their music and videos and even choreos are my style completely, especially their cute concepts!! we love dancing infants! and also, they're all such throughly good people which makes me so happy. this isn't a casual stan thing in the slightest, and it's funny to think I ever believed it would be. 

Hui: 

then:

when i saw him in shine, i thought he was a d o r k. i think it was the way they styled his hair, but i was just very convinced that he was pretty lame lmao. after that though, i saw how cute he was and he became my bias for a while. i remember thinking at one point that he seemed like an exasperated dad?? i didn't really have any basis for it but that observation was there nonetheless. 

now:

exasperated dad? more like hyper 3 year old. hes literally one of the loudest and most energetic. what was i on. but i think hes the most precious and clingiest little toddler now!! i was right about the dork thing though, but its super cute how goofy and lame he is. also!! talent for days!! his dancing, singing (his falsetto is !!), composing is all incredible. the most important thing though? a godly leader. he's so caring and kind and full of love for his members it hurts me. we don't really see a serious leader hui, but thats okay because i think it means he tries to keep uni and ptg in good spirits by showing them cheerfulness. and that's amazing to me.

Jinho: 

then:

my most notable thought about jinho in shine was "how is he that small". i remember thinking it was cute how he pushed the giant one too, lmao. i didn't think much else of him beyond that, other than noticing how adorable he can be. 

now:

ok yeah, jinho is cute and tiny and whatever- but now i Understand the power that he holds. how he looks with his hair pushed back for example. or how about that bruno mars cover he did with hui. (hhhhnngg). also?? he's not even That small. the ones that make him look itty bitty are Literally just giants. but aside from his appearance, jinho is probably my favorite vocalist like!! i appreciate him s o much. (listen to his cover of gethsemane and last night of october for clear skin) of course jinho is also very cute though!! so i was right about that at least! he just also has many other great sides to him that i worry are overlooked!

Hongseok: 

then:

i didn't,,,notice him. at ALL. like i just glossed over his existence completely when i first saw shine. and even after that- it took me a minute to pay him any mind. when i did finally notice him though, i noticed his smile. i remember i was watching videos with my girlfriend and i pointed him out to her! that was mostly because i felt bad for not really having any strong opinion on him though oops. anyways i ended up just thinking he was a mom. and i was really impressed by his english and strength.

now:

real talk, it pained me to write all of that out!! bc now?? omg hong is my everything- but thats kind of obvious. anyways!! hes so  f u nn y !!! its absolutely a stupid kind of funny and hes definitely annoying but i adore it. also the mom thing is only kind of true. he has the capacity to be maternal and take care of them, but he's way more likely to make fun of literally every single member. he's more like an older brother that never leaves his siblings alone and thinks he's funnier than he is. and we hate him for it. anyways, his voice is So underrated im. angery. he has such a beautiful voice, just in general, and on top of that- his singing is lovely. like yes, more hong solo please. 

Hyojong: 

then:

i definitely took note of him immediately! his voice is very distinctive, and he stands out a lot in shine. which is really saying something. i thought he was really talented for sure! and i almost felt he was too cool for me to be looking at. i kind of got the vibe he'd be pretty icy i guess? 

now:

he's not intimidating at all. like not even a little bit. bc he's not taking himself as seriously as i thought he was lmao. also hes so   l o u d . and a plant man. but i think the best thing about edawn is his unpredictability! i never really know what to expect from him and i like that. 

Shinwon:

then:

i thought he was HOT. i already thought he was handsome in the 0.3 seconds of screentime he got in shine. but a friend of mine showed me clips of him from that couples game video and. o o f. i really couldn't get over how pretty he was. it didn't help that this was the same video where him and kino were doing that dance. personality wise, i don't remember much standing out to me. other than how easily scared he is.

now:

shinwon is soooo embarrassing. i wouldn't say hes completely shameless about it though, but he's shameless to the point of actually doing the stupid shit so im. still enraged about it. he legitimately makes me physically look away sometimes when im watching a video and he's being weird. theyre all my kids, and i love them. but he's the child im ashamed of lmao. moving on, hes a real cutie pie. that fact that he gets so scared so easily is both really funny and super endearing. but he's just a playful baby and im honestly glad that hes has so much fun.

Changgu:

then:

i noticed him less than hongseok. like i dont think i had a single notable first impression of him. 

now:

past dess was one entire Doofus huh. like changgu is a whole ass blessing to this planet and you mean to tell me that she overlooked him??!! anyways, though, he has an elephant heart for sure. such a genuinely empathetic and truly kind person!! he never fails to warm my heart with his sincerity and i love that about him. he's also part of the idiot squad though, with how he goes along with hong's antics. we hate that. and all his impressions + dumb faces. speaking of faces though,,, his acting?? i love it!! he's really talented, like when i watch pretty pretty i kind of forget that changgu is even playing a role. and his d a n c i n g!! underrated dance king! underrated king in general, how about that. 

Yanan:

then:

my first bias in ptg!!! i fell in love with him instantly! i loved how tall he is, and the white hair and his  i c o n i c "my baby"!! like i was whipped from the gate. i remember liking his duality back then too!!

now:

ok so, since he was bias immediately, i noticed more about him than anyone else. which means i have less to write oops. but thats okay because at least i had a bit of taste back then. but, yanan is hilarious. he's so clever and funny and you can tell how effortless it is. most iconic ptg sayings are something from yanan and thats just amazing. the big thing i notice now that i didn't really before, though, is that fact that his duality is so shocking because he's literally just as unpredictable as hyojong. its impossible to really tell what hes going to do next, and i think it catches people off guard more with yanan because even that aspect of him is unexpected. 

Yuto:

then:

i thought he was kinda scary!! idk he seemed so cold and i couldn't really relate to that so i didn't grow very attached to him. 

now:

he's so pure!!! hes said that he has a hard time expressing his feelings but i don't really see it? because he always seems so happy to be around ptg and having fun with them even if he isn't usually the one playing around!! he loves them so much tbh and its the sweetest thing :( everything about yuto is so sweet, because he cares a lot about the people around him and doesn't want anyone to get hurt- even if its fake or a joke. and like, he's really hardworking too!! ptg have said multiple times that he works the hardest, and that really is saying something imo! and like, you can just see it even without being told that. whether its his workout journey pentory or the fact that he's literally been learning guitar. also!! omg the lyrics he writes?? heartwarming, romantic and life changing!! seasons and cosmo made me a different person. but yeah, he's such an amazing, warm person and i cant believe i found him scary. 

Kino:

then:

i thought he was the main vocal. like no joke, he was so charismatic and flaunting so  much in shine that i was like "ah yes. the main vocalist" hhhggg. i remember thinking he was pretty though, and that his stage name was super cute. but i wasn't very interested in learning about him, despite how he really caught my eye. for some reason, though, i eventually got the thought that he was really pure.

now:

main vocal hdzfhh kino relax you're confusing ppl. of course he has an amazing voice and it always sounds incredible but!! what amuses me is the way he sings always sounds kinda like he's trying to be sexy and?? its so funny in ballads and stuff imo. but yeah, that "sensual"?? singing is what threw me off back then. buf more importantly, i just wanna mention the pure thing- because its a confusing situation. on one hand, kino has a heart of gold that not only adores uni but is also accepting. as well as how he's constantly bringing light into the world with his words and truly bright outlook. but on the other hand he's a demon that dances like That and is so dangerous when he wants to be!! so!! what's it gonna be kino, make up your mind :( anyways, listen to knnovations. esp bad timing and 224.12!!

Wooseok:

then:

i loved him instantly. he looked like an overgrown 10 year old in my eyes and that's just. precious. i thought he was pretty funny too!! 

now:

if i took off my hong glasses for long enough, id be able to say that i think he's the funniest in ptg. because he's so hilarious in my eyes like? he makes me do an ugly wheeze laugh, and a lot of my favorite ptg moments involve him in some way lmao. but he is actually a baby, so i was onto something there with the overgrown 10 y/o thing. despite being really funny though, i do think he tends to be quiet more often than like hui or shinwon and he hardly ever smiles, unless he's like laughing and thats makes me think that he's kind of awkward?? not in like a bad way, but i just kind of see that i guess. but!! something that i think is passed over a lot with woo is the fact that he usually has a hand in composing, and also that he writes his raps?? like that's so cool, we love that!! 

ok! so that was my lame little essay lmao. i hoped you liked if you read it all! im just glad to say that i really appreciate pentagon as a whole, and how much joy they bring into my life nowadays!! i feel like ive found a place to call my own with uni and with pentagon :)

[vyvesvi]

space over! the next one will be after next round (3 weeks from now) hosted by pd101 japan global fanbase

gonna try to summarize points but i missed the first part & definitely don't remember a lot oops

how do people feel about leap high? general consensus- it's a grower

yumeki was disliked but he now has a cult following who think he's camp

more korean influence this season- next round will be in korea & they were in korea lomger this time. s1 & s2 had the same Japanese pds but this szn has new korean pds

jp fanbase is pretty typical - girls around the ages of the contestants & slightly older men

lots of people want ayane in toxic because she sounds like rosé

seems like momona, miu, ran, rino, tsuzumi, etc will be voted into &me. expecting this to cause some storyline drama. stacked group curse?

differences in storyline building across cultures: a lot of repetitive storytelling this season with trainees crying because they feel they can't share their true feelings with their teams and ultimately saying nothing. this could help explain why japanese trainees tend to disappear when they compete in korean shows

more differences: less evil editing. rumors that editors cut conversations about the hate that nakamori mikoto is getting right now. also more drama from the mentors compared to the trainees

what concepts/sounds/songs do we want to see for the final group? depends on the members, but &me is the most population 3rd round preview. (someone said e-girls, big agree from me)

we all miss the mentor sugai hidenori from s1 & s2 lol

there are way more experienced trainees on s3 compared to s1 & s2. some people are happy about this because it means they can do more interesting & challenging performances. host brought up that this is probably because korean companies having japanese trainees was wayyy more rare in/before 2019 compared to now.

don't like how they did the rap songs this time, with already completed songs. in s1 they just gave them a beat and they got to do more performance creation (this season afaik they wrote lyrics but they had to git the rapping in bijin & shut down) (personally havent seem the ep yet so idk tho)

suggestions for future round 1 songs: chao chao by happiness, vocaloid songs, recent akb because they have more kpop style choreo, songs by superfly

thoughts on song selection? it's kinda smart because theyre appealing to distinct groups- younger kpop fans & older jpop fans. cool that all of the popular trainees ended up in jpop songs (seifuku no mannequin and body & soul)

same note: ppl tried to give spoilers for r2 but no one knew run run, since it's really new, in korean and english, & swf isnt very popular in japan. when ppl tried to spoil namie amuro's songs they got them mixed up with other singers (ie, no super old jpop fans in the audience). when speed was called like 3 thirty+ year old women looked excited and no one else knew it

trainees discussed: momona's hair, momoka's husky voice (sukai rise potential?), kokona (below)

kokona had a very hyewon character but in this ep people realized that she can actually sing (someone then compared her to minju). since she's already #6 based largely on visuals, we might see a rank rise for her

do we have too many vocalists in the top? with jo1 (s1) & bonbon girls (chuang 2020) this messes with their line distribution & ability to maximize their skills. host feels that bonbon only shone through ballads since they couldnt dance & had 4/7 main vocals (i half agree - they had 3 members who couldn't hold a note), i feel that jo1's members do great in subunits (especially sho, ren, sukai, & takumi, as evidenced by their performance on the first take). pretty solid comparison although lapone habdles jo1 better than tencent handled bonbon imo. cant fully compare because bonbon only had 2 years full of indiv activity & preplanned music while jo1 is permanent & has had the opportunity to grow

lots of fascinating hair changes for r3. lots of bad extensions

jp fans are very peaceful, but things get downright nasty during the finals. last time there were d34th threats

the final is dec 16, we're happy because this means they purposely avoided jo1's formation date & that'll reduce any fanclash (although jams are very peaceful)

probably sharing this way too late but a couple big produce accounts are doing a twitter space right now! it'll probably end in an hour or so but i hope anyone who wants to join can!

[tfw-no-tennis]

One Piece Readthru

heyo ive decided its time for me to catch up on the one piece manga finally!! i last read it uhhh sometime late 2018?? MAYBE early 2019....anyways ill be liveblogging it, basically for myself but if anyone is interested then enjoy lol

so w.out further ado hers 927-931 hya 

uh ok i left off kinda in the middle of the wano arc, so im scanning thru some stuff to see what i remember.....i dont really remember what the deal is with that ginger (?) pompadour guy lmao. theres a lot of new characters and intricate politics in this arc from what i remember. 

i havent really gotten spoiled for anything....i know that something bad happens to kid & killer, somethins up w/sabo (but we dont know what), luffy fights kaido (more than once i think?) uhhhhh we get roger flashbacks and hear the yonkous bounties....thats abt all i really know. so im hype to find out what else has gone on....

im gonna start around 927, i defs read this but i want a refresher 

wow its amazing how sanji can oscillate so fast from being unbearable and annoying to like one of my favs

i loveeee the panels where those dudes start trashing sanjis soba stand and usopps like lol lets back up yall we KNOW sanjis boutta kick some righteous ass....YESSS

franky supplexing a guy....ily franky 

toko!!! i forgot abt her!!! cute kid, whats her deal? iirc she works at the uhhh wherever komurasaki works and she almost gets murderized later

sanji and little kids is so cute ;_; more of that and less stuff of him being gross w/women 

ok exposition....i do remember a lot of this

928, i feel like i remember this stuff so ill kinda blow thru it 

oh yeah i remember luffy n the prison shennanigans....good times

and kidds here too, talkin abt how he lost his arm trying to fight shanks...lol dude 

dude is really like oh i couldnt take down shanks, so ill aim for a different yonkou, im sure this will go much better a second time (and down an arm)

omfg i forgot abt this dude who apparently sold his FAMILY to get money for komurasaki....

i think we’re supposed to feel bad for this dude and think komurasaki is cruel or w/e but man honestly i just respect the hustle. girl knows whats up

HVBJSDKFBDS I FORGOT THE HILARIOUS LINE WHERE SHES LIKE ‘I HATE POOR PEOPLE <3′ IM....its literally like a weird twitter shitpost lmaooo

they cut immediately from komurasaki to tama asking momo if he has a sister....LMAO SUBTLE......

i dont even remember if that twist was spoiled for me, but either way it was my like immediate thought upon komurasakis intro lmao 

ok 929!

omg kanjuro selling some-drawn fish lol

OUGHHH CARROT AND THE OTHER MINKS....i miss carrot sm i hope she shows up more :( i really wish she would join the crew....

lmao that guy calling zoro a pretty boy and saying girls are probably all over him....zoros like uh ew no im gay 

OOOH PLOT SHITTTTT....caesar and doflamingo name drops...

VEGAPUNK HM [eyes emojiey]

orochis defs gonna get fucked up at some point. his design reminds me of wapol and other like corrupt king archetypes 

oguhfdbsjkgjdfbh laws head basket i forgot abt that. also i love when people call him traffy thats weirdly cute 

oh right the other supernovas who became kaidous bitches are here to fight...i recall that fight somewhat 

920 time! 

oh yeah the weird place where all the poor starving people laugh constantly...inch resting

OHH YEAH BIG MOM!!! man i definitely read a lot further than this lmao. w/e i was SO fucking hype when she showed up, imo the whole amnesia thing is pretty lame. we’ll see where it goes tho 

the art here is just so good oh man. the panel of big moms ship charging up the waterfall while she laughs? fantastic 

EPIC arrival. i hope big mom gets to do cool stuff even despite the impending amnesia

i ALSO hope her kids get to do cool shit too. im still holding out for a zoro vs amande battle (if shes even there? i dont see her, but thatd be such a waste)...and smoothie vs robin....

and she wants zeus back....NAMI FIGHT??? PLEASE???

oh its bdsm dinosaur guy....hmm never thought id type that

LMAOOOO law is like Dont You Dare Fucking Snitch On Us and usopp is like uh luffy pls come pick me up this guy is too hardcore

FINAL BATTLE thats so dramatic law please

sanji saying he’ll protect usopp omfg

oooh theyre destorying all the soba shops....here comes sanji to bring the PAIN

OMFG THE RAID SUIT i forgot he busts that out....hilariously quickly all things considered

931! ok but first my obligatory thots on how sad i am abt how the women of op look nowadays lmao revisiting old one piece just makes it all the more obvious how ridiculous its gotten....like nami and robin dont even look human, its insane, and the sameface has gotten so bad...idk i miss when op women used to look normal and could just exist without being Sexy Women bc that was a thing at the beginning and i really loved that...now its just like wow all titty no waist legs are 100x longer than normal....not to mention the writing for women in op has gone way downhill...ugh. ANYWAYS onward 

ofc as soon as i say that theres a rlly cute and p normal looking cover w/nami...i love her sm shes my fav character thats part of the reason this bothers me so much lol 

i miss her short hair tho...the long hair is pretty and i like her different hairstyles but i defs prefer the short spunky look. i wish she wouldve gotten a cool bellmere-esque haircut after the timeskip at least

ok im p sure i didnt read this...? i dont remember hgbvhjaksdfk

GERMA THEME SONG HBVJSDUIFJBSF are you telling me that the raid suit activation process involves a THEME SONG....please i need to hear this. thats so fuckign funny

‘GERMAAAAAAAAAAA’ [sanji doing an unironic magical girl transformation] IT CANT BE OVERSTATED HOW HILARIOUS AND AMAZING THIS IS LMAOOOOOO 

i think we saw this w/his siblings during whole cake but i forget lmao

of course franky and usopp are like OOOH FUCK YEAH 

HHBDSJKFJSB the implications of law knowing Exactly who that is....like i really need to see an omake of a campy power rangers/sentai/whatever-esque show/comic with all these germa personas omfgggggggg

and law having read the comics is SO funny 

also. sanjis hair is SO unfortunate lmaooo

O SOBA MASK HBVHSJDKUFJBDSK

germa was the bad guy group in the comics....good lmao 

law was defs a fan he knows ALL the lore LMAOOO

A BABY SANJI....and then sanji being weird. skip! 

ironic hows theyre like oh shit gotta challenge this dude so he doesnt destroy the town and their fight is gonna level the place anyways lmao 

oh i did read this i think cause i remember all those ninja busting robin for sneaking around

which ok theyre ninja but robin could grow eyes for surveillance so it doesnt make much sense that shed be caught so easily...alas

THAT GUYS HEAD HBVHJFKD LMAO

oh yeah then big mom washes up w/amnesia lmao. i hope that plotline doesnt suck, i dont have too much hope...normally i really like amnesia plotlines and honestly i think itd be cool to explore w/like one of the strawhats but in this case it just seems kinda like a lazy way to take big mom out of the game :/ my prediction is she’ll get her memory back at a certain time thats convenient to the plot, just in time for like an all out war w/kaidou and the straw hats and the yakuza maybe? we shall see (possibly) 

ok its past 6 am so its bedtime. more later! 

[sirikyu]

Sun and Moon and character dynamics - a.k.a Ash’s unbelievably many varied types of friendships in this series like holy s

sit down friend, i am about to ramble on about sun & moon’s brilliance in its character writing. i center this mostly around ash because he’s my fave. i love all of them but i have biases from my childhood and i tend to gravitate towards main charact- i mean anyway here we go. (warning: gettin a bit personal but not in a negative way)

one of my many fave things about sun and moon are the characters. the entire main crew of classmates are all different and fun in the own individual ways and they all manage to hold an episode very well, even though they rarely have to do that (and that’s good, because it’s a story about friends and support and family!! never put them alone to deal with a new, scary situation tbh, that’s too dark for me). everyone in the main cast have all managed as the emotional core of the episode, not necessarily because they are all very likeable, which definitely isn’t necessary for good storytelling, but i’d argue that it’s valuable especially in children’s tv, showing good people making mistakes and showing how far a supportive environment goes to help them over that. every individual dynamic between ash and another member of the sumo team is so unique to each other. ash isn’t at the forefront of everything, he’s not “the” main protagonist, and he isn’t what makes this series compelling, but he IS an excellent tether between this group of friends to me, personally, and i think this show has a lot of new ash content i haven’t gotten in many, many series run (ash is great, alright? you guys are just mean.)

im especially glad of sophocles’ and ash’s friendship because their complementary differences are in such a good balance, and i have such a soft spot for sophocles. sophocles is smart and not-sporty, but he isn’t a know-it-all stereotype. i was afraid there would inevitably be a fat joke or nerdy joke, but i don’t remember seeing anything too demeaning or harmful in the light tone they handle sophocles’ nerdiness and roundness. i still remember watching the very early episode where ash and sophocles are still getting to know each other and they get stuck in the mall. even before all the fun character beats as they scramble in the dark (and get short with each other) in that episode, i remember with GREAT fondness when sophocles was very hesitant to admit he’s in the mall to indulge in ice cream. he’s shy about his sweet tooth! i found the excecution very delicate and sweet (pardon the pun), because i don’t think i’ve related in that specific way to a character before in a show? because being fat means that there is an awkwardness and hyperawareness whenever you so much as think about stepping into the candy aisle, and sophocles not wanting to admit to his new classmate-soon-to-be-friend that he’s indulging was, deliberately written that way or not, very real. (not to be a sophocles stan, but he’s a good kid and deserves everything good since episode 1).

but i digress. sophocles steps in to teach his classmates sometimes because he loves learning. he rarely acts condescending to his friends. be the everyman in some crazy situations ash and others get into sometimes (that shrinking episode?? it’s still one of my favourites mostly because of the group of characters they chose for the main conflict. the daredevil pokemon loving duo that is lillie and ash vs. sophocles’ anxiety about the hectic and kinda perilous situation!! it was hilarious). sophocles, to me, seems to value ash’s friendship for similiar reasons clemont used to, in XY. it seems more warm and mutual in this series, thanks to ash’s characterisation. sophocles saves ash in several occasions, which, just! hello!! is the best thing and i love that all these kids are heroes and worthy of admiration. they also remain good. theyre all good. all rangers are equally important. they’re all amazing. okay? alright.

its heartwarming and supportive. they also are like, bonded through their main pokemon being electric mice. isn’t that the cutest?

ash and kiawe on the other hand, they’re a powerhouse couple that egg each other on. they push each other forward and have similiar sense of drive towards pokemon and battles. ever since kiawe gave hint that he battles he found common ground with ash. also he’s such a goofball who gets SUPER emotional about so many things (his sister!! mountains!! determined people!! so many things! he cries openly!) even though he comes across as serious at first, which kind of gives us a character with some similiar traits to ash but who couldn’t ever be mistaken for ash’s personality. they both get fired up in tandem about competing, but they also come from very different lives and backgrounds. I don’t ever think to compare their dynamic to anything else, they’re really unique! they are also mutually supportive, but it has a distinct flavor compared to sophocles and ash. maybe kiawe is a little bit more relatable to ash because of their similiar interest in battling and competing?

ash and lillie are super lovely and i like that lillie has her own story that ash is driven to help her with. and they are similiar in their excitement about pokemon (and yet, in a wholly different way than ash and kiawe are?? lillie has great drive in wanting to help pokemon with knowledge and books, because a hands-on approah wasn’t possible to her in so long, but i think when sophocles learns about stuff, it’s his studious nature and interest in tiny details.) and self-sacrificing hero-type stuff. we got to see lillie fulfill her potential after she figured out her way through her trauma, and we could see that out of her shell, lillie and ash are super similiar, AGAIN in a different way from the others, but never in a less important way. lillie is just a ray of sunshine. she also knows he limitations and works toward overcoming them. her and ash’s frienship comes from going through some very important and life-changing things together. i think ash really wanted lillie to be able to touch pokemon because it’s important to him and it clearly used to be to lillie, which he realises when he sees her old photos.

ash and mallow have this very sweet and family-oriented sibling relationship. they’re not often paired up but i think the times they are, they remind me of my sister and me, which is such a big part of my love for mallow, even if she doesn’t get imo enough spotlight in the big plots. on the other hand, her personal journeys within her own family are so good i cannot be mad at anything. she guides, she’s patient, she’s enhusiastic in a similiar way to ash, but has a more level head. but she also eggs her friends on with her boundless energy. the more i think about her, the more i love her. mallow is awesome!! not least of all, she has such good relationships toward her female classmates. she’s nosy and protective, but not in a smothering way. she’s very supportive and very good at it. (the episode with the mom? killed me.) the way she takes care of her peers in the school is amazing.

ash and lana are both adventurous, i think they really like to get in trouble together lol. lana is also strong and they both ooze main character material with the way they have with pokemon in the wild. it’s awesome. i kind of feel like these two could use a more emotional episode together, but i think i’ll have plenty to be emotional about when this crew parts ways :(((

i made myself sad, but i can confidently say that this show has the most unique and varied and developed set of characters and character dynamics of all pokemon, in a cast this size. the fact that they’re good friends and have none of that bordering-on-mean banter from any of the previous seasons is in fact, a big bonus for me. i love this class, i wish i could hang out in alola indefinitely.