#theyre just miserable angry people and i dont even think they like each other that much let alone anyone else

[steampoweredskeleton]

.

Ignore

[tezzbot]

Osomatsu, Jyushimatsu and Todomatsu (🏳️‍🌈💌💔🧸🪀💬🎃🔊)

not gonna do all of these for all 3 ive been trying since last night my brains gonna melt lmfao

🏳️‍🌈 lgbt hc

osomatsu thats a dyke

jyushimatsu i think w regards to gender probably doesnt give tht much of a fuck tbh. hes just jyushimatsu also woman liker

todomatsu uhhh . hm idk.. theres smth fruity going on there i mean look at it. not sure how id label him hes like a lgbt what all at once type u know HDHJDG

💌 fluff hc

osomatsu has always really loved horse racing even before he had a gambling addiction lol i think as a kid hed go to the library or smth and just Read n Learn about horses and races in general thats the tism baby he knows literally everything you ask him who won whatever race in like 1976 he Knows its like scary impressive (literally how else wld he remember horse racing results from Ten Years In The Past in the movie!!!!) if you gave him a horse he would fully know how to take care of it

jyushimatsu and homura, tho not dating cus i dont think theyre ldr kinda people, they do still stay in contact, they talk on the phone n write each other letters tgey r the world

some of the friends todomatsu has do legitimately enjoy hanging out with him like the barista girls what r their names. aida and s. saachi? they like him a lot! as a friend! he just is in the mindset of im bottom of the social barrel so he doesnt always see it lol

💔 angst hc

do i even need to do this these guys r miserable little freaks as is lmfao

osomatsu. cant think of anythin original just uknow usual. childhood trauma, dependency issues, oldest child 3rd parent syndrome, etcetc

jyushimatsu feels bad abt how he treated ppl in high school, despite the fact tht it was a defence mechanism he didnt Like being so angry all the time :( its why he tries so much to make people happy now. tht anger does still make its appearances but hes better with it now

🧸hurt/comfort hc

osomatsu when he feels like trashgarbage will go and find one of his brothers and if he finds one of them in the house he'll go n sit by them n try strike up a conversation but if hes feeling like considerably bad he'll just sit and maybe lean against them just for the pressure remind him that theyre there keep him grounded

💬 fav line

jyushimatsu - literally all of his big long stupid internal monologues are great but literally the best line in the show is "Samples, my guy" it legitimately made me laugh So loud when i first watched that episode by myself

🎃 sth i think theyre afraid of

osomatsu hemophobia not a fan of blood, why he freaked out so bad in the movie over a scuff

jyushimatsu probably claustrophobic n being restrained fr long not of his own accord, man needs to fidget

todomatsu literally so scared of seeing the hat man in the dark. he watched one five nights at freddys video in 2015 and now his brain thinks hes gonna see bonnie in the bathroom at night he closes the door facing into a room so he has a full view of the room w his back On the door to make sure he hasnt been followed despite the fact he Knows he hasnt. just in case lol (no i am not projecting [lying])

🔊song that reminds me of them

oso - get well city by felix hagan and the family (a lot of their songs make me think Matsus in general tbh lol)

jyushi- dumb dumb by mazie

todo is kinda hard to nail down but - secrets by p!nk

[wickedpact]

You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.

[cracks knuckles] if u insist

nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van

'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg

5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible

noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her

i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years

i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.

i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years

'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day

tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad

tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you

joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'

it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped

joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.

nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2

wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line

on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'

i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job

'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺

noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime

joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.

sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.

i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong

i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years

joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years

joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE

joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you

joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops

theyre forgiving af

moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???

nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?

alright andy you got me there

joe texts like my aunt

i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.

the drowning sequence was cool

copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great

ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam

nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?

it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy

nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her

pinstripe suit guy!

joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile

andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho

i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one

also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.

on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way

tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.

anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10

i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl

[raisinchallah]

why is the twitter art community so insane literally the worst parts of deviantart and the worst parts of twitter combining i think like alfkakkd every few weeks i swear people have like art advice discourse and people scream at each other about the best way to improve at art and for whiney beginner artists to stop harrassing their replies and that if they want to get better they should just practice and also obviously people get very angry at people who have never claimed to be art teachers offering simple advice like practice because theyre sorta at a loss idk its just deranged and i cannot look away i know i should stop being on twitter evil website but its enthralling sometimes but its really so depressing the way the gatekeepy and insane dont steal my secrets just grind at art mindset of deviantart has survived with none of the incredible tutorials and knowledge sharing that also somehow managed to coexist alongside that weird closed community and hmm the lack of like spaces for total beginner artists to easily share stuff in a way that puts them on equal footing with all other artists like that was something nice about deviantart all those groups that accepted pretty much all art and so u could have beautiful fully rendered complex art right next to like some 11 year olds lovingly sketched out colored pencil doodle and like its so distressing in general i guess the entire like never stop the grind always improve mindset being seen as normal and not idk if beginners truly want advice good lord just like find things ur passionate about art should be fun its so insane why is art not seemingly fun for people in these places i guess its the ever growing encroachment of trying to professionalize and everyone hoping the internet will be the gateway to great jobs in art when most of the time thats like an illusion and its also just so crazy cuz i dont even feel like its that hard to give like mediocre art advice that just u know creates a more positive community instead of just being like practice train fight whatever thats it idk remind people to draw things theyre passionate about and that genuinely enjoying what ur doing matters not just pushing towards a skill that will make you totally fucking miserable and idk most people posting art online or taking small commissions arent gonna be incredible professional quality artists but thats literally ok and can be a wonderful good thing to just have a closely held enjoyable thing and like idk u gotta learn to see art is literally not simply about motor skills thats whats also so crazy to me is people seem to focus on improving like the motor skills of physically drawing and not like composition and learning your own taste and discovering what artists you like and admire and study what makes their stuff work things that can be done when ur in an art block mode u know i gotta know how to see like understanding colors and how to frame things and composition are all things that u can like learn to see and grow ur skills by simply seeing and knowing with purpose and implementing that like theres so many levels you can be technically skilled and not put an image together nicely idk so many things that can also u know translate to photography fashion food daily life like whatever this is a total tangent and lord knows my composition sucks but alskkska theres such an aggressive anti copying mentality i think also people dont understand how to use references or how to grab from a lot of different inspiration idk whatever i love to bitch!!

[tsukidotcom]

Haikyuu HC to COVID-19 (Karasuno edition)

This is horrible 💀 im just so bored so I made whatever this mess is KFJSJDMSK enjoy

Hinata Shouyou

huh? isn’t it just the flu?

“No, hinata. People have died from it-“

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH-

goes bananas

whenever someone sneezes or coughs, his soul leaves his body as he runs away to sanitize/wash his hands for a miserably long time.

eats an expired can of peaches thinking it’s his last resort

lowkey happy school is closed because homework sucks

but also highkey hates it because now all volleyball tournaments are closed

then gets all angry when he realizes he’d have to do online school???!!?? like wtf he got jipped.

thinks they could still do volleyball if they did online calls cus if the school can do it,, then vOLLEYBALL CAN

will probably miss half of the class calls from oversleeping/forgetting anyway.

sheepishly ask yamaguchi, yachi or tsukishima for help on assignments/notes. (he will NEVA ask kageyama. he’s always in competition with him here!)

still practices volleyball 24/7 in his backyard or room (maybe even with his baby sister??)

He’s really good at practicing all by himself from practicing all alone in middle school—

but will probably go crazy being alone all the time with his family. he just wants to play volleyball with the team again.

looks up “what to do when you’re bored” or “what to do at home while in quarantine” on youtube

Kageyama Tobio

probably says he’s immune to the corona because he’s just better than everyone else

doesn’t really think it’s real until school shut down because of it

When he sees that corona is airborne he wont know what that means so he’d probably think it’s produced by air itself?? which makes him think air is trying to kill the human race?? and will be so confused as to why it decided to pop up now???

DESPISES online school. He had enough trouble understanding it from the gecko, so now he has to learn it basically all by hiMSELF?!?

And no way is he just gona email the teacher for help. If he does it’s gonna be only once in his lifetime. Anymore than that he thinks he’s doin too much. He doesn’t want his teachers thinking he’s dumb 😭

he says literally nothing during the calls he just tries to pay attention? and fails because he’s on a computer. in his room. alone. he’s bound to daze off or stare at a pen for 5 minutes.

Obvi still practices volleyball. Very much misses it. At least Hinata had his sibling to practice with him. tobio is a lone wolf in his household.

When his mom goes out to get groceries he gives her one of those doctor masks so she doesn’t catch corona.

Few moments later through the internet he realizes that corona is smaller than air molecules so if you can breathe through something you could still get it so he struggles for an hour thinking he just killed his mother

When his mom is back he keeps his distance in case she’s carrying the plague

omg did she just cough or am i imagining things no she definitely coughed she has corona oh oh god

In reality she was just clearing her throat.

is lowkey worrying about everyone and how they are 🥺 (yes, maybe even hinata).

thinks he’s science smart by calling it covid-19 than corona.

Asahi Azumane

He just worries about everyones health

like he just imagines the worst case scenario’s and starts to get really worried if people got it. Always checks on everyone and asks if they’re feeling any symptoms of corona ❤️

He’s either not gonna get it or he gets it and dies there’s no inbetween

but he’s jesus himself so theres no way he nor anyone in his bloodline can get it

is very happy to know that dogs can’t get it.

Takes online school seriously and tries his best

And is honestly so sad school just ended??? even if it’s temporary, he could be learning, playing volleyball, and going about his day instead of staying in a cage. he’s a third year so—how would graduation even go..?

always is up to date on the news !! and notifies everyone if anything important is added/changed.

Always tells everyone to stay safe! Whether through text or before ending a call.

only buys a lot of toilet paper from the fear of there being no toilet paper in stock since evERYONE IS BUYING IT-

Starts to try new hobbies that he put off for the longest time cus quarentine is rlly getting to him.

Is all out a family guy so he doesn’t mind the extra time with his family.

Nishinoya Yu

OAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOA

420 blazin’

thinks going outside means you’re instantly gonna die from corona attacking your white blood cells (????)

but also probably doesnt care as he goes outside like everyday to run around and get rid of energy (and to practice volleyball, of course).

also why is it called white blood cells when blood is red ☠️ smh

Buys 101611018320129 bags of chips because that’s his comfort food

yay more gaming time!!!

Noya🐒: Tanaka do u wana play minecraft 2getr latr?

Tanaka🍌: HELL YEAH!!

doesn’t shower for three days straight because screw personal hygiene!! No more school!!! Can do whatever he wanted!! It’s basically summer!!!

until he’s forced to do online school.

Is def the class clown. Probably somehow kicks the teacher out of the call through a little bit of hacking.

“alright guys so i’ll be you’re substitute teacher for the day-“

tbh acts the same as he would in school. maybe a little more rebellious because, i mean, what is the teacher gonna do? send him to DETENTION? call his mOMMY?

Calls/spams literally everyone in his contacts because he’s so bored and lonely. Answer him!! Y’all will be on facetime for hours!!

He’s fun to facetime.

Will call you a loser if you don’t have an apple iPhone because then he can’t facetime you and facetiming is one of his favorite things to do to pass time (besides gaming)

HE A TRUE GAMER

Okay but he lowkey still tries at school for the sake of his grades and his future ;-; maybe calls asahi or sugawara for help??

always looks up his homework on the internet to see if he can get an answer key or something (he did that anyway even before corona but)

will do one subject for 3 hours thinking he’s finally done with everythinf till he realizes he has like 4 other subjects and needs to do those too.

Sending memes all the time

Tsukishima Kei

oh, what about corona again?

honestly could give NO fucks??. like ABSOLUTELY ZERO. nonxistent.

doesn’t even remember it’s still happening half the time.

is surprisingly very knowledgeable about corona.

he’s just smart and sciency¿ so he understands the ins and outs of corona like how it works and how its spread.

so if you tRULY want any update or background info on the corona virius, ask Tsukishima.

bitch don’t touch me you have rabies.

doesn’t care that he’s obligated to stay at home because he would have stayed either way. he very much likes being alone.

might go a little crazy cooped up in his room so he’ll hang with his brother/family or go outside before he says ‘okay that’s enough’ and goes back to his room.

isolation? oh okay *puts on headphones*

he rlly gonna be rocking it out in his room cus he can listen to music all day any day

developes a really bad sleep schedule since he had no way to get rid of the energy he got rid of at school.

still a huge tease so he says everyone has the corona virius.

is never online on social media which means he’s never up to date with his frIENDS. Doesn’t have a clue what those dipshits are doing and could care less (besides yamaguchi,, they probably facetime or call thru skype or something).

I bet the whole volleyball squad has a groupchat and honestly he puts all notifs on mute cus his phone keep goin DING DING DING DI DING ID DID IDKNG DING DIG

Brother: Omg why are you getting so many text messages?

Tsukki: Shut up

if he is online on the gc and he texts it would be simple replies like “Hi” “Okay.” “No.” “Goodbye.” and then he’s gone for another week

every first year is begging on their knees for tsukishima to give the answers or help them out and he obviously says: go do the hw yourselves idiots

besides yamaguchi!!!! again!! cus theyre gay for each other

maybe practices once in awhile with his brother or alone in his backyard but he doesn’t care

Tanaka Ryuunosuke

buys 101817 pounds of toilet paper because everyone else is? but not because of the same reason as asahi. he thinks toilet paper is the cure to corona.

GO STUPID AAAAAAAAA GO CRAZY AAAAAAAAAAA-

probably has a part time job at a grocery store so he still has to go to work 😭 i dont even know how he could have a job in the first place he’s probably always late-

still gamin with noya of course

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM IM PLAYING MINECRAFTT

also buys like all the junk food thats in stock. and since he works at the grocery store he gets a ton of coupons and deals.

texts Kiyoko everyday goodmorning ❤️❤️❤️ and goodnight 😘😘 texts just to be left on read.

“i love it when she ignores me !!!”

scrolls through tiktoks for 1000 hours to pass time

School Is For Losers!!

similar to noya, he thought it was basicaly summer until he realized they were gonna be doing online school. literally had a fit and said he didnt wanna do jack squAt

Laughs so hard when nishinoya somehow kicks the teacher out of the call he’s like laughing so loud and hard he starts crying

all of the sudden has a better view on school

gets excited when he sees nishinoya on the call

makes funny and ugly ass faces when the teacher isn’t looking. everyone laughs and the teacher’s like 🤨

probably uses the green screen effect so he can change hus background (somehow) and accidentally misclicks a file so a girl wit a bikini becomes his background for .5 seconds before changing it to a cursed meme:

doesn’t get half the shit the teacher is talking about

but it’s okay because the half he doesn’t get is the other half noya gets

and the half noya doesnt get is the orher half tanaka gets

they’re two peas in a pod 🥰

until they try explaining it to each other and suddenly get confused?? mental malfunction ¿?

yeah im SMART!!!

s -

m -

a -

r - penis

t -

Daichi Sawamura

quite calm about the whole coronavirus

like he knows it is serious and understands how it is spread but he’s still calm about it??

tells everyone to sanitize and wash hands on a regular. and social distancing!!

honestly still wakes up like he does on normal school days and does all his academics just fine.

he even does gym activities (besides volleyball) for 30 minutes to an hour!!!! he be running on that treadmil! getting stronk!

does each subject on his own for 20-40 min each day. he’s really good at self discipline

makes sure sugawara and asahi are up to date on school work and will gladly help.

sadly can’t help the first years (and probably second years) because that info is deep in his brain and basically forgot how to do it after a year or two of not using it.

VERY VERY VERY sad that volleyball nationals are cut off. this is his last year and for it to be??? gone??? just because of some flu?!?! hates it.

he wishes school to go back and still has hope that school will go back to normal in a couple of weeks (even though it’s a slim chance).

asks the teacher questions whenever he has questions. He’s also vv considerate so he’ll ask questions he knows the answer to but asks them for anyone who’s confused ab it/wants to ask but is too shy. (literally i lov daichi sm)

Eats a healthy amount of everything

asks asahi for any updates on corona even though he’s quite up to date himself. he just wanna make sure he didn’t miss anything.

also doesn’t mind being around his family. he’ll do more chores around the house to help his parents out :> he’s literally perfect wtf

def does worry about everyone in the volleyball gc and anyone else he has contact with. Will also email classmates and ask if they’re doing all right. Even away from volleyball he’s a team player ☺️✌️

Is happy for the rest of the day when asahi tells him dogs can’t get corona.

Yamaguchi Tadashi

oaoaiquqhdkoaiaagadjsiwi?

doesn’t know what to believe anymore

keeps in touch with everyone!! always online 24/7 on social media, vball gc, you name it.

Literally everyone is acting so normal why are people so calm am i the only one worrying about this and the worlds future like this year has been really bad so far for not just me but the whole nation actually the entire world honestly like war almost broke out in january and now this corona stuff is really buttering my crissont the wrong way-

Even though tsukishima literally gives No Fucks, yamaguchi is the complete opposite.

like tsukki and yamaguchi call on skype and eVERY TIME yamaguchi starts with ‘how have you been? do you feel sick at all? have you drank enough water today?’ and so on

“What are you even worrying about?”

“Well...what if you get the corona virius?... it can be deadly, you know!! Thousands of people have died from it!!! The fact school is shutting down and people are panicking is making me feel like i should be panicking-“

Tsukki will then snarkily reassure him it’s fine and people their age are the least likely to get it bad.

Yamaguchi will feel a little better afterwords

“Thank you, Tsukki!”

Tsukki will ‘tch’ it off

Even though he gets really good grades he has triuble finding motivation to do any school work?? doing school work in his own home? 😐

His home was kinda a place he can chill whereas school is a place he can be fully focused

but now his home is ALSO school??!!?

Luckily he understands the work, at least.

When he sees tsukishima on the call, too, he instantly says hello.

“Tsukki!! Hey!! 😁”

“Shut up.”

“Gomen, Tsukki.”

Yeah. Even when they aren’t at school, he’s still the same as always.

He takes extra care of his family and always stays in touch with other relatives. Especially grandpa and grandma. THE SECOND he learned elderly people are at more risk you bet your ass he’s calling them making sure they’re okay. He checks up on them everyday now.

He peobably practices volleyball a little, too. He’s more focused on schoolwork though.

Sugawara Koushi

Have you guys ate dinner yet? 🥺

obviously checking up on everyone

he would fail as a mother if he didn’t.

Actually reads in his free time?? He finally has time on his hands to read these books so.... here we are!

Wakes up at a scheduled time everyday (minus weekends. Maybe sleeps for an extra hour or so).

He dresses in pjs rather than actual clothes because he’s not going anywhere with this social distancing thing.

Always tries to lighten the mood when all the students are on the online call. Maybe crack some joke or innocently play around with the effects.

He still pays close attention in class and does quite well on his own. No help from his parents! He can do everything on his own! He a big boi!

Does homework really well, too. Probably does extra work or more work than needed just because it makes him feel good afterwords.

Honestly i can see him cooking in his free time. If he doesnt feel like reading or scrolling mindlessly through his phone, he gonna cook.

Will make the best cookies in the universe.

HAS A HECK OF A SWEET TOOTH. NOT A DAY GOES BY WITHOUT HIM GETTING HIS PRETTY HANDS ON SUM TREAT

Honestly isn’t too good with exercise so he might gain a few pounds or grow the smallest chub 🥺🥺🥺 he would be so cute omfg.

is realy involved with his family!! they play a board/card game every friday night and have the best time.

if he has a dog, cat, or literally any animal you know he’s gona be hanging with them since he has more time.

Still! Playing! Volleyball! I mean by now every boy is practicing at least a little bit. He would probably be in his backyard playing volleyball with his family. Theyy’d set up a net and everythin! They’re all rookies at it but he still cherishes the moments with them.

It’s honestly still practice. Better than nothing

He talks about how his family plays volleyball and everyone is so jealous like 😭😭 makes him more grateful hearing half the volleyball team saying they have to practice alone.

Watching youtube videos of random videos/vines making him giggling.

“Hey, Dachi, look at this video.”

IS A SWEETHEART STFU !!!

[kenmaiii]

stop being jealous and bitter!

Now i know you cant outright just throw away your jealousy in the art community. You see a really cool popular artist or just someone with absolutely amzing art and you think “wow holy shit their art is so good i wish that was me and that i could do that....” I understand that spite can be a good thing sometimes; it can be what motivates you to improve and do well, especially if the artist is well... not the best person in terms of personality. Great, that’s even more motivation to do well right!? 

But when does all the comparing go too far?

----------------------------------------long post incoming------------------------------------------

Now i’ve had people very close to me do this. I’ve been told that im ‘popular’ which im honestly not seriously. They could probably be reading this right now, but this has been bothering me for awhile so i must get this out there. Let’s step into a certain mindset for a moment:-

You hate your artwork. You hate your current skills. Sure there are artists you like. But then there are ‘THOSE’ ones. You have very specific artists you follow just because theyre so good and popular they make you feel bitter and you still check up on them regularly to fuel that bitterness. You know good and well that they make you bitter and angry and peeved but you just keep going back.

Step back for a moment and think.... why on earth am i fucking doing this???? Comparing and feeling bitter about another persons skill or popularity and letting yourself stay sad and bitter isn’t good for ANYTHING, art aside. It’s good to want to feel validated at the work you spent time on but it WILL get tiring if you keep complaining that ‘your art is bad’, ‘your art isnt good’, ‘its shit’ or ‘garbage’. Your brain is just internalizing that and hindering your work and future improvement. It’s most importantly WASTING YOUR own time, YOU the creator. And not to sound snobby here, i really truly dont intend for that, but some of you know good and well that you keep belitting you work because you only just want people to compliment your art when youre only doing the bare minimum to improve! I can only tell you as a friend or an on-looker that i love your art so many times (as much i really do love it and hope for your improvement) if you continuously decide to still turn around and say you hate your work and tell me im wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why reach for compliments then! Why continuously turn them down?

And i’m not saying you cant ever not like your art (cause it happens) or decline a compliment, but to do it every single time....it leaves a bad image for your work. You either start to believe it, or the person complimenting you will get put off from your negativity!  

It makes people feel bad, especially if theyre also artist AND also your friends. You can’t keep saying you prefer their work and still put down your own. It makes your artist friend uncomfortable. They might not know how to respond when you keep doing it. And im sure they wouldnt want you to keep making yourself feel bad. Personally, i wish all my art friends success and improvement, and i want them to love and feel proud of their work more than the times they hate it. We really need to uplift each other as artists.

Thanks.

What you think and say is what you become and if youre always negative and comparing youre gonna tear down both the person you admire and yourself. Ie, if youre constantly thinking ‘ill never be as good as this person’,’no ones ever gonna like my work’, ‘i cant color as well as they do’ or saying that your work is only ever garbage... newsflash asshole! your mind absorbs that negativity and makes you believe it! u fool!!!!! Because brains are stupid and can be your worst enemy at times! 

Sometimes you just need to stOP looking at certain peoples work completely if it gets you that bitter or angry or sad. Unfollow them! Block them! Delete their name from your search history if you have to! Stop hurting yourself and forget about them, it’s like trying to think about an ex thats moved on. Pointless.

Negative emotions such as sadness and anger are our brains direct ways at trying to reach out to ourselves.

You: seeing cool art Your mind: remembering you dont have some of those skills or popularity + comparing = sadness/ anger/ bitterness at not being able to be at that lvl withtin the same timeframe or less

Your brain is trying to tell you to fix this! But you know you might not have the tools to gain that much popularity or become so good at anatomy, coloring , compositions or backgrounds overnight, so the only solution for your brain is to self-sabotage.

It’s just the same as suddenly feeling sad for no reason. It’s your mind trying to work out a problem you never resolved. Maybe your friends haven’t replied in awhile and you feel ignored. Or you subconsciously remembered a bad experience without really realizing. You’ll get sad. Your mind is is saying ‘Hey asshole im sad. I know it might be out of your control but I’ll stay sad about this one thing until you resolve it somehow. ’ (whether it be blindly distracting yourself on purpose or fully wallowing in the feelings)

So we realized youre feeling intensely about this persons work vs your own...then what exactly happened there? The answer is pretty simple. Some kind of information processing happened in your brain. The result of this processing made the your mind conclude that one of your existing problems (art in this case) can never be solved; whether conscious or unconscious, and this explains why your mood might change all of a sudden without any kind of warning signs (in relation to what you saw). 

Inspired VS Jealousy When youre inspired youre working against yourself in a GOOD way. You’re feeling motivated to make something great! Youre feeling motivated to make something better than the last piece!! And honestly thats wonderful!!!  That is a lot nicer than being in art-block, comparison negativity hell.

YOU are the only one responsible for where you are as an artist. That goes towards every artist of every skill level! There’s always someone better than you and there’s always someone worse than you. People get better at art in different intervals depending on how much they take in or put into practicing. Some people just get some concepts and fundamentals a lot easier and quicker than others but that doesn’t mean they naturally had that ability from birth. They put in the work just as you should be doing instead of feeling so intensely negative! But when you’re jealous and negative all the time, that’s when it starts to go downhill. :/

Jealously is a very human emotion at its core. And im not saying its super easy to deal with and just suddenly get over, but there are things you can do to slowly help yourself do it at least a little less.

Here’s the best things you CAN do instead:- - Write down some of the things you find yourself feeling bitter over about, especially when you look at another artists work? Ask yourself why these specific things? If it’s something you yourself can work on in your own pieces then maybe uh do that?  - Find the time to practice your work. - Practice even more. - If it’s your style that you arent happy with think of the artstyles you like and set aside time to mimic the way that artist might draw something (hence adding that to YOUR style). Take a sketchbook page or two and just draw entirely in those styles. - Practice. I can’t stress this enough. I know artists say this a lot and it can kind of just be thrown around carelessly, but if you keep putting this off and saying you don’t want to practice or talking about how time is going by when you should be practicing things.... and STILL refuse to practice then???? I cant help you sorry. Time waits for no one, so sometimes you need to grab time by the horns and kick its ass for awhile. Put in that effort! - Please use references. Even better if you use it nearly EVERYTIME you draw something, especially yknow...if its a pose, body part or background that you know you have no idea how to properly express! Find a stock image or a variety of websites to use! Save poses that you like from online magazines, other artists and photographs you see anywhere online. I like to look at online magazines from other countries or photographers, and there are tons of places like pinterest or instagram and whatnot. - Stop comparing and being bitter. Ii cant say this enough it gets me so ticked off, but my stubborn taurus self refuses to fully go off until it all piles up and this post is the result lol. If you know you can’t let go hating on a certain artist (for no good reason) then dont hate-follow them! Don’t check up on their work constantly! Don’t even talk about them!!!!!!! Try to get them out of your head for goodness sakes. Majority of the time they dont even know who YOU are so why are you worried about what they’re up to. - STOP SHITTING ON YOUR OWN WORK. - STOP IT RIGHT NOW. - AS THE ARTIST SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF TO SAY ‘’hey, my work isn’t exactly where i want it to be at this point in time and it may never be but i can appreciate that i’ve gotten better at a lot of things and im better than where i was a few years/ a year/ a month ago/ even weeks ago.” - ”I’m proud of this piece and can’t wait to get even better.” - Art is a struggle that takes time, effort and a lot of work. There’s always going to be someone better than you and there’s always going to be someone worse than you. You can only strive to get to the level that would make you happiest, otherwise you will get irritated with it and feel absolutely miserable about everything you produce. - PUT IN THE WORK TO GET YOUR ART OUT THERE. Social media has been both a curse and a blessing to artists all around. It’s made it easier for us to share our work around and opened paths for making money online and at home and connecting with other artists, but competition grows everyday as more people post their work in the same market. (ie another reason why it can be hard to get your commissions out there) Also as artists we want that dopamine rush you get from people liking your stuff, i get that its gucci. -But if you aren’t tagging your works well, posting somewhat consistently, not really bothering to talk to people in certain art communities (even people in your fandom because hey potential friends and even partners on future projects), not adding your works to groups (a big problem i see with people on places like deviantart mostly), joining and sharing them in art group chats/aminos/discords, joining events to get yourself out there (such as zines/big bangs/gift exchanges etc), giving tips and advice or even little helpful tutorials to people then how do you expect to be noticed? How.  If youre not doing at least TWO of these things then hoW can you complain about not getting attention. :(

 Of course you dont have to do ALL of this. Im just saying ...if you arent out there advertising how will more people know about you? This leads to you thinking no one likes your art (skill level excluded because even my cringiest old art would have a few comments or encouragements to see my future improvement, and i still want to hide when people like/comment/reblog said old art to this very day). 

I understand mainly OC artists feel this way that no ones gonna like their characters, or it just doesnt get reblogged enough in general but thats understandable too. No one is ‘selling out’ if they only do fanart. No one is ‘snobby or scared to get themselves out there’ if theyre really enthusiastic about their stories and worlds. Otherwise we wouldnt have fandoms int he first place, theyre all someones work. And hell, good for you if you draw both. It really is just a matter of how you put yourself out there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’ll take some time but there IS always someone out there that likes your stuff. And sometimes you just have to be content with making work for yourself, work that makes you happy. The online art world is tough especially when youre small but once you fall into the depths of bitterness its hard to rewire your mind...

This is how yall should be looking at your/others work majority of the time: You: seeing cool art  Your mind: omg thats beautiful! i wish i could draw and paint like that. i should practice more , try out some poses and anatomy or implement what they do into my work. i wanna make a cool ass piece like this too i feel so pumped to draw and work!! 

And that’s that! Do yourself a favor and be happier you bastards! Its tiring being negative and sad all the time and i want tf out of it. Its so very tiring and annoying to be sad and bitter as shit!!!!! My goD

I can’t really think of anything else to add to this and the text may appear angry sometimes as i was very heated when i wrote this but tried to tone it down a lot hfkds. Im not some ‘art guru goddess with supreme skill uwuw’ but advice is advice! It’s always up to the person listening to take it or not.

I’m gonna end this with one of my favorite art quotes of all time from t h e Arin Hanson himself. Because it really is true. 

Get yourself out there, practice towards a level that makes you content and try to have more fun with loving your work.

It’s taken me a long while to post this, as i’ve been feeling this way for...at least a couple months??? but i finally put it all out there i just needed to do this lol.  Sorry if i mightve repeated info sometimes here and there?

This post is just as much of a call out to my own actions but more so @ those of you that specifically do this! 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Im Enthusiastic But You Wouldnt Know It

man sometimes when the concept of ppl like succeeding w some Passion of theirs on whatever scale...im like man im depressed what with being depressed and not even always enjoying enjoying things. i mean like i cant even imagine being in a line of work where its what you want to do. not like the Achieving Your Dreams career is the most common experience. i dont even have dreams which is what makes it so difficult to think of working towards ur aspirations and reaching it, but tbh...that also reminds me how we shouldnt have to think of the professional career as the only way for someone to pursue fulfillment or achievement or whatever. the non-passion lines of work should be tolerable and the workday shouldnt consume ppls entire lives so that they cant have a meaningful existence outside of it w other pursuits.......

anyways the point is im kind of an enthusiastic person who likes to do things and really get into a project when its something i’m into....it is just precious few times i remember that kind of thing coming up at all. and if it’ll ever be relevant again i cant even guess how

its like how socially i actually can really love to be with a group of ppl or in noisy busy shit like concerts or other similar events...i can actually be really talkative...i like to talk and laugh and do fun shit w ppl and all but it doesnt come up much bc ive never had a large friend group and the ones i do tend to be rly scattered and its hard for me to see ppl in person ever, much less regularly. in my head im like yeah a friend group where u can all just sit around some porch or parking lot and talk about whatever and everyone likes each other...but thats never been the reality for me so im just making it up, good luck to me with that little project

anyways its kind of funny that im a fairly passionate and energetic and even in some ways outgoing person when life didn’t really allow for even me to see that for ages and ages and rn because of the fact that i’d like to die and am around nobody and such, like its not like i talk ever and i dont have it in me to do much of anything

like, it sucks i dont ever get to use the drive i can have for things b/c i know it can be fun. and frankly since the friendship ring thing isnt very realistic i also really just like to go to shit on my own and mingle w strangers and just do my own thing b/c i feel more able to be myself like that anyways, usually. just showing up and doing whatever. anyhow what im saying is i know what it feels like to enjoy the fact im enthusiastic about things and way more often than not, including now, i dont get to use that

idk what i’d be all that enthusiastic being involved in now. idk. but itd be nice if i felt like i had the chance to find out. and even tho its absurd to decide ppl should know Their Dreams and Passions like by the time theyre in high school, itdve been nice to feel like i could explore my interests and be myself freely and safely, like, ever back in those earlier times. i DID draw back then, which is what gave me a leg up to be drawing more later, but even now drawing itself isnt really my interest or anything i have any goals around

its annoying bc theres no reason then or now for me not to be able to be the way i enjoy being or enjoy things in general, such as existing....like it makes me angry actually that theres something so unnecessary as me having to have all these days i dont want to be alive or continue being alive, and how unnecessary it was all the years i couldnt Be Myself or try things freely or figure out what i liked or wanted to do

and like i also know i can do shit if im in a situation where i actually can. not like thats the only reason i should be able to not be miserable, is if i think it could be useful enough for other people. and like i dont think im special, its shit coz im absolutely not and theres a crap ton of ppl who also dont have a Personal Passion element in their lives b/c its all a matter of situation and opportunity and resources and all that stuff...it sucks i guess the end

[bangkok-dangerous]

big sad ramble time. MAN im at one of those points where the only inkling of a feeling of emotion or sincerity within me can only be evoked by these tacky nostalgic songs 

like simple and clean and other sappy anime stuff. these past few days its like ive almost gone out of my way to burn bridges or at the very least appear like i dont want to be around anyone, and for all i know thats actually true.

i just cant see past this idea that everything everyone (including me) does is motivated by selfishness, be it fun, an ego boost, or their own sense of satisfaction for “helping” out their friend who obviously isnt having fun. i think i got invited to a friends house at near midnight just so they could have enough people to play pictionary. i was only otherwise ignored or treated like a punchline and an incapable idiot with no drive, which in my mind is the least true thing someone could ever assume about me. ive spent about 4 years now teaching myself 3d modelling, animation and drawing, on top of dabbling in programming and youtubing, and it pisses me off so much when these cunts who think theyre my friends just dismiss it because im so uninterested in participating in their shitty game and conversations that they mistake me for being an easy target.

right now i so badly want to feel sincerity and believe that there are people who are inherently positive and willing to help others and just have a fun time, and i want to believe that im capable of that too, but i just cant. even people who behave altruistically and characterise themselves with being kind and caring are just after the good-chemicals boost of being able to tell themselves that theyre a good person.

what really sucks right now is that theres so little i can do about this but wait it out for about a month until uni starts and ill ideally be too busy or overwhelmed to bother thinking about how terrible i and the people around me are. right now i have maybe 2 friends that i actually want to spend time with, while the rest are boring, unmotivated, shitty ‘friends’. There were so many things i wouldve liked to do in the 6 fucking months weve all had off school like go to the beach, watch movies together, do more podcasts and other youtube shit but my 5 or so ‘hangout’ friends are such boring ‘gamer’ dudes that they either dont want to go out or dont find us fun enough as a group to do outdoors stuff with, and I hate that. I want to be around people who are as fun and motivated as i am, but just being around these people is so depressing and draining because all they do is play counterstrike, go to work, sometimes go to a shitty club, and thats it. i just cant muster the energy to organise stuff like this and invite them just for it to either end up boring or for it to fall apart and never happen.

ive tried reaching out to 2 friends about this who i thought would understand and be able to either convince me that good people are real or at least that i can trust them, but it comes up with nothing. they have nothing to say about it other than that my feelings are valid probably. ive always tried so hard to be a good friend, someone who is endless fun and jokes but can always put shit on the shelf to listen and be supportive when needed... and for nothing. the friends ive done so much with, tried so hard to keep together and keep active has just fizzled out into complacency. Im down to the one friend who ive had since year 8. it started with the two of us and now its ending like that too. even then it might just be a matter of time until we finalyl get to know each other well enough that we cant stand each other. ill get too clingy and then come to notice and be annoyed by every single one of his flaws.

its so hard to look back on my childhood and teenhood because i did so fucking little with it, and most of the cool things werent my choice. i didnt have a cool set of childhood friends to run around with on weekend and ride our bikes and play video games together. i didnt have a family that watched movies together or a dad who i could watch while he played SNES games. i didnt even own any of the GOOD ps2 nostalgia games like kingdom hearts, sotc, and any final fantasy. instead of pokemon and FLCL i watched the same 3 episodes of beyblade and whatever shitty french/australian/canadian cartoons the ABC could license.

I barely made any significant/lasting amount of friends in high school. i went in feeling invisible and assumed the guys and girls didnt like me so i acted accordingly... like an angry antisocial cunt. i just rode the current of the same friendship groups melting and molding into other ones over several years, never bothering to make real connections or interests with people outside of my small group. i went out of my way to avoid doing the extracurricular activities that wouldve helped me make friends in my school. joining a band, a club, even just bothering to participate in mandatory sports. i was so miserable and lazy and just like now took comfort in my artistic skill and determination to one day make it all worth it. to be fair i had better friends and we had plenty of fun sleepovers and whatnot, but i still feel like i missed out on so much in those first 4 years of bullshit.

anyway ill edit this if i have more shit i want to complain about but rn i started a preety cool drawing so imma do that peace

[grubhivemind]

-- devicefulFlightrisk [DF] began pestering decastichAmazifier [DA] -- 

DF: Hi. 

DF: Are you still on Avalon? 

DF: I was just wondering... 

DF: If anything else was happening? There? Or... 

DF: I dont know.

DA: yeah i'm still here, not pullin out yet 

DA: nothin is goin on form what i can see but i got my eyes in as many places as i can 

DA: check your local Kavi for street stories 

DA: i got this shit my man if anything happens you want updates 

DA: also i know you've been asked  how you are a million times so i'm not gonna do that but i do definitely give a shit how you are

DF: Oh, its okay... I dont really mind people asking. 

DF: Im just not sure what to say... 

DF: Theres... 

DF: A lot going through my head I guess.

DA: wanna talk through it?

DF: ... 

DF: I think I do. 

DF: It hurts too much to carry it around. 

DF: But I dont know... Its scary to even think about. 

DF: For... a lot of reasons.

DA: no judgement man 

DA: just let her rip 

DA: have at me, ramble all you gotta

DF: :( 

DF: I just... wish I wasnt thinking about it the way that I am. 

DF: I want to be angry... I want to pretend I never had anything to do with any of that. Like... 

DF: Like its unforgivable. 

DF: Because it is. 

DF: But I dont feel that way. 

DF: I can only think of what Id do if 

DF: 

DF: Theyre his family... I cant even imagine how Id react to 

DF: Its stupid. Im stupid for thinking that way!!! 

DF: I shouldve just listened to Joel!!!!!!!!

DA: woof, never thought i'd read that statement ever 

DA: obviously he'd never know about this but now he'll especially never know, we can't let his ego have this 

DA: but anyway 

DA: it's not dumb to rationalize 

DA: for many reasons, i think 

DA: for one you were into him and for two that's... yeah? makes sense? 

DA: we all kinda Rush The Fuck In™ when it comes to our family and that's like... understandable?

DF: But it doesnt matter... 

DF: Nobody else sees it that way. Even if people do, its not... 

DF: I dont know. It just doesnt matter. 

DF: I wish I was never a part of any of this. 

DF: It hurts so much... 

DF: I dont know why I ever thought things could work out.

DA: well 

DA: i'll tell you somethin jujubee 

DA: if you think somethin is worth it then they can work out... it's just give and take and i dunno man 

DA: it's a complicated situation 

DA: i'm not really a big fan of violence either if it can be avoided but not all people are like that and some shit is plain inexcusable 

DA: and mayve sometimes you try and things just still don't work out it's about how much you're willin to give up 

DA: i tried to give Sapire a second chance and that didn't work so now he's like.... gone forever i guess? which it sucks and all that but like, you have to focus on you at the end of the day 

DA: don't compromise your feelings or morals for anyone man, it might keep someone in your life but it'd just make you miserable in the long-run 

DA: and you deserve more than that :(

DF: Its so confusing... 

DF: Like... if circumstances were different... It would have been perfect. You know? DF: Im afraid that Ill forgive anything just to have that feeling back. It just... aches!!! Ive never felt so awful... 

DF: But... Its scarier thinking of how alienated Id feel from everyone else. 

DF: If I forgave it, I dont think anyone would forgive me.

DA: that's somethin you're gonna need time to think about 

DA: and i mean just because you forgive someone doesn't mean they're out of the shit 

DA: to be honest i can't really think of anything that would be a suitable punishment or penalty or whatever but i mean it doesn't have to be black or white 

DA:  also things are stupid hectic right now so taking time to think or even worrying about it later is probably best for you in this situation 

DA: shit's tense

DF: I guess youre right... 

DF: Im worried whats going to happen on Avalon too... Without Kougah there to take care of things. 

DF: I wish the people had just listened... We couldve done something. 

DF: I know... some things??? But I dont know if I can really help on my own. It feels... hopeless to try.

DA: yeah Baldur feels the same, he was actually asking me if i did any shit with music and that it might help? 

DA: to be honest i'm not keen on anyone dipping toe out the castle 

DA: also i've already got the place on lockdown so like 

DA: nah? 

DA: i get he wants to help but he's not about to solo this shit out

DF: ... Well, um... 

DF: Maybe we could work something out... 

DF: Auryhn, Kagome and Karima could come with us? They could watch out for us while we try to ... do our thing or whatever. 

DF: I just... I dont know what might happen and I dont want to stand idly by... :(

DA: mm 

DA: maybe yeah 

DA: you guys can put what you know together and try to do your thing 

DA: but we all are definitely sticking together, it's crazy out there so just.. we'll try to set this shit up and give it a go and see how it goes but if it doesn't work then i'm sorry but i wouldn't vote for another trip back in...

DF: Thats... probably fair. 

DF: I guess Ill try getting ahold of Baldur and see what we can do. 

DF: Ugh... 

DF: I really should be relaxing, shouldnt I? :( 

DF: But I cant help thinking about all this...

DA: lmao to be honest i should be relaxing too probably 

DA: Nellie's been making me chill the fuck out but ... no?? 

DA: there's so much to do and so much to think about and so much to plan for 

DA: it's impossible to waste time and there's too much going on to not be doing shit 

DA: is what it feels like, and probably is 

DA: i think it just needs to get to the point where we're not running ourselves ragged 

DA: do what we can, plan some shit out, then when it's like you gotta scrounge for shit to do then stop

DF: Yeah... That makes sense. 

DF: There isnt much I can do right now... 

DF: What have you been keeping yourself busy with? Exactly?

DA: mostly making sure this castle is impossible to get in if you're not supposed to be in it but also making sure we're not exactly sitting ducks 

DA: right now i'm doing a little minor reprogramming to some of his service bots around here 

DA: also playing host 

DA: makin some food and shit 

DA: gotta keep the guests well fed 

DA: i've also been watching the monitors i can tap into but some are too fuckin far

DF: Ohhh... Wow. You have been busy. 

DF: Id probably be doing the same. Hehe. 

DF: Im glad youre keeping safe... I think of all the places you could be on Avalon, thats already the safest. Um. 

DF: In terms of avoiding certain dangers... The weather probably isnt great up there. But even then... 

DF: Im just relieved.

DA: you know me, ever the busy bee :P 

DA: and yeah it's a chill place to be for now 

DA: tbh i wish Auryhn would drop the fuck in but idk i know he has a job also he's just.... upset really 

DA: he's a big guy but him feelings too big for him damn body

DF: Oh.... Yeah...... 

DF: I can imagine this is all pretty, um... Stressful for him, too.

DA: yeah... 

DA: i'll wear him down eventually i'm confident of it 

DA: but it's all fresh right now, he's still processing i think so yeah. it's just a lot for everyone to absorb

DF: It is..... 

DF: But... Im glad I talked to you about it. I feel a little less overwhelmed now... 

DF: At least my thoughts are sorted out a little better, if nothing else...

DA: glad to help Peapod <3 

DA: i'm glad we could talk, sorry i couldn't make it to the open invite thing but i'll get at you later 

DA: before all this i dug up some manga turned anime about two dudes whose dongs got turned into chicks and the chicks are gay for each other 

DA: if that's not a pride month shitfest of a marathon i don't know what is 

DA: give me the large gays and tiny lesbians 

DA: so yeah. strap the fuck in next time we get together

DF: Thats...... :O 

DF: That sure is the concept of an anime alright! 

DF: Hehe... Im looking forward to it.

[viralhottopics]

For These Women, A Period Triggers A Living Hell

For Hannah Lenehan, 33, every month is the same.

For one week she she feels normal. The next week she describes as a week of pain in her ovaries. The week after that she feels severely moody and agitated.

Some months I can control it some months I cant as well, she told The Huffington Post. During the moodyweek she is extremely sensitive to noise and gets angry for no reason, she said. Lenehan does not take long vacations because she uses up all the days she can be away from work as sick days.

People dont understand how it feels inside, she said. You dont want to act this way.

The last week of the cycle is the one when her period comes fatigue, irritability, severe breast pain, mind-numbing cramps, leg pain, diarrhea, she explained.

For Lenehan, thats what it means to live withpremenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD.

Doctors have long categorized the condition as a severe form of premenstrual syndrome, since the symptoms come in a predictable cycle around ovulation and the days of a womans period. Some symptoms overlap with PMS, like bloating, headaches, pain, cramping and fatigue (though for most women the symptoms are exponentiallyworse).

But the other major difference between PMS and PMDD is that for the 2 to 5 percent of women who suffer from PMDD, crippling depression, anxiety or another mood disorder prevents them from going about their daily routines.

Researchers have long suspected that women with PMDD have a different sensitivity to the sex hormones they release when they are menstruating, and that causes the extreme symptoms they suffer. And a recent study provided some of the first evidence that a genetic irregularity may explain why some womens bodies are more sensitive to those hormones than others.

A lot of [women] think that doctors dont really believe in this and theyre kind of stuck with it because constitutionally theyre not able to deal with symptoms that other women are able to deal with, Peter Schmidt, chief of the Behavioral Endocrinology Branch at the National Institute of Mental Health, a PMDD researcher who led the recent study, told HuffPost.

The evidence suggests the exact opposite, Schmidt said. There is evidence that there is a biological explanation for these symptoms.

And thats a big step forward in better care for patients with PMDD, in terms of recognizing its different from PMS and finding the right treatments for patients.

Currently doctors prescribe several therapies for PMDD, ranging from hormonal therapies to antidepressants to painkillers.No one treatmentis considered a cure for the condition, however nor does any one treatment work for all women.

I just was always made to feel like I was crazy or weak because this consumed so much of my life. Hannah Lenehan, 33

Lenehan has been living with PMDD since she was 10 years old. Her doctors have prescribed drugs for anxiety and birth control,and she currently takes a prescription painkiller each month before her period is scheduled to start, which helps somewhat.

I just was always made to feel like I was crazy or weak because this consumed so much of my life, she said.

She emphasized the importance of getting support from others.Talking about it that is the best medicine of all.

HuffPost talked to five other women with PMDD. Here are their stories in their own words, including what they wish everyone knew about what its like to live with PMDD:

I needed to hide from everyone.

My symptoms began at age 11 prior to me starting my first period at age 12. My parents thought I was a normal, snippy, pain-in-the-rear teenager, but I always knew there was a darkness inside that I needed to hide from everyone.

I was formally diagnosed by a womens health psychiatrist with PMDD in my late 20s. I complained to my [doctor] that my monthly symptoms were preventing me from being social and normal and she referred me to the psychiatrist because she suspected PMDD. Her insight and referral saved my life.

I am an incredibly outgoing and active person with a love for people and animals. My sense of humor and need to protect everyone around me from my depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts kept me going for decades. From the outside, no one knew I was suffering because I put on such a great show. Inside, however, I was always exhausted and relatively reclusive.

Cathy Adolph, 41

The pain is like childbirth.

I was diagnosed with PMDD just last year, but have had symptoms since my first period.

For two weeks out of every month I have severe depression. And on top of that I have about three days of pain. The pain is akin to the labor contraction pains I had when in childbirth. (Only I dont get an adorable baby out of these ones.)

The depression makes it difficult to function, to get out of bed, to shower, to care about anything. I am the sole earner for my family, so not going to work is not an option for me. I use all the energy I can muster to get myself ready and through the workday. When I get home, Im spent. I end up curled up on the couch with a heating pad. I often end up sleeping there because Im up throughout the night due to the pain.

Its just a really vicious cycle. Then I get two weeks of feeling like a normal person before doing it all over again.

I have been really lucky to have finally found a doctor that knows what this is, and diagnosed me. Ive talked about my symptoms with over 10 different doctors. Ive had one that listened. She didnt treat me like Im just complaining.

Catherine Bergstrom, 38

Im basically out of commission.

I feel great for 21 days out of the month, but I have to use that time to get everything done and prepare for that last week where Im basically out of commission.

Those days, I pretty much sit on my hands and dont leave the house. Not a good idea to do ANYTHING dont interact with anyone, dont drive, dont post on the internet, dont try to make sense of what is happening. Just sit quietly and wait it out or its a disaster. I call it trying not to blow up my life.

Shortly after behaving oddly, the thought often goes through my head: Why did I just do that? Thats not something I do. Thats not something I would say. I dont even care about that.

Mandie Cain, 31, who has had symptoms since her first period at age 12

They told me I was a woman suck it up.

I started having problems at age 14. Serious bloating, incredible pain that ached down into my legs. As the years went on, the problems became worse and worse and the emotional turmoil left me curled in a ball under the covers. This continued for years. Yes, I still worked and just figured thats the way things are. Went to numerous doctors (men) who basically said I was a woman and should expect that like, suck it up, buttercup.

Through the years, various doctors tried different hormone treatments. Birth control pills worked best. Progesterone made me insane.

Having a hysterectomy was the best thing that ever happened. Within two weeks I felt like a whole new person. Literally. Before, I had only felt good for two weeks out of four. I suffered like that for years and years, so to feel great all month was a miracle for me.

Karen Kohn, 65

Keep looking until you find the help YOU need!

My daily life [used to be] miserable during the two weeks before my period. I had unbelievably painful cramps. I was moody, crabby and bloated.

My first OB/GYN wouldnt take me seriously until I had my husband call her. The receptionist said that they could see me next Tuesday and my husband said that I would have killed someone by then.

She put me on Xanax for the two weeks before my period started, which helped, but only caused me to become dependent on the drug. That was bad, very bad.

I had PMDD for about 20 years, but it was not diagnosed until 2003. My doctors just thought I had a bad case of PMS. I wish other women would please seek treatment sooner than I did. If what the doctor prescribes doesnt work, tell him/her. Find another doctor if necessary. Keep looking until you find the help YOU need!

Karlya Ann Boone, 54

This reporting is brought to you by HuffPosts health and science platform, The Scope. Like us onFacebookandTwitterand tell us your story:scopestories@huffingtonpost.com.

Sarah DiGiulio is The Huffington Posts sleep reporter. You can contact her at sarah.digiulio@huffingtonpost.com.

Read more: http://huff.to/2m9W96k

from For These Women, A Period Triggers A Living Hell