#theyre gonna be everywhere if i dont pay attention

[skelekins]

i havent used shimejii in years djlsjfsl but ive been tempted since i saw there was a baggs

Baggs Shimeji

i got my underfell sans shimejii years ago sfdsljsfk i think if u just google shimejii you should be able to find be able to find a directory with a bunch

[todayisafridaynight]

Is there a character that’s like a Vegeta to you as in there’s so many interesting characters, but fans love this douche so we got to make him the center focus now!

there's like. legally only one answer to this question but i feel ???? saying it

[platonicmoonwater00]

I see these everywhere. and i mean EVERYWHERE. and also i need motivation so lets go ig

10 notes- i'll drink on weekends too(i forget cos on weekends im just at home and not at school lugging around my frank green in my tote bag)

20 notes- i will(try to) pay attention in class

30 notes- i'll watch my whole watch later playlist on yt

50 notes- i'll actually do the techniques im learning in ✨therapy✨ to help with my anxiety and shitty social skills

75 notes- i'll take my iron tablets every day

100 notes- i'll start my assessments when i get them(i have one due tomorrow which i was gonna finish now but i'm doing this apparently)

125 notes- i'll ask my crush to hangout alone during spring holidays

150 notes- i'll try to go for a run or at least a walk every day

500 notes- i'll write another chapter of my fanfiction

1k notes- i will actually make an effort to get clean

2k notes- if i see someone pretty that i want to go out w in public i'll ask for their number cos holy fuck i need to put myself out there. even if we js end up being friends cos holy shit im lonely

3k notes- i will actually finished the dress i started making

4k notes- i will try to get over my crush cos its ✨never gonna happen✨(she so pretty and masc tho its gonna be hard)

5k notes- (this is so far up here cos idk how to do this so im gonnna need a lot of time to figure out how) im gonna try to demolish the rumour that im gay thats going around a bit.**

6k notes- i will finish all my crochet projects and not start any new ones until im done.

**context. i go to an all girls school and theres a lot of people so its not like everyone knows everyone, even in my year(theres approx. 174 in my year alone, and theres 6 year groups at my school cos high school is 7-12 where i live) but some people know me ig cos i know a few girl who are more notable, im in the top class and i recdntly started sitting with a group that the popular girls call furries.

(theyre a pretty big group and popular girls hate them cos one or two of them are trans - ftm, ftnb etc, no mtf cos my lovely/s catholic school wouldnt let trans girls in- several of them are gay, a few of them are emo, most of them are poc's and a few of them dont have english as their first language. overall they are seen as the "weird kids" in my year)

so this rumour apparently is going around that i like a girl in my class(i absolutely do but if you havent noticed my school is hella hoomophobic and i could very well get beat) which js isnt ideal and is gonna lead to a lot of issues, especially if a lot of people start believing it so if you guys have any advice pls lmk. and its not like i can js get a fake bf and show him off cos its a GIRLS SCHOOL. if i reconnect with a friend from primary school tho we could pretend to be dating and like make a post on social media. but then kids at his school would find out and hed either have to tell them its fake(which would eventually find its way back to my school, and when i say eventually i mean immediately) or he couldnt get a girlfriend so that probs wouldnt work.

i know it sounds like im making a mountain out of a molehill but ive got years to go here and i dont want to spend all my high school years getting bullied bc even if i went to a teacher about it or smthing id have to like analyse them first and try to figure out which ones are homophobic or not.

like learning about why "being gay is a sin"(pretend im saying that really mockingly) is literally in our curriculum.

holy shit that was longer than expected.

no pressure tags: @wishiwereheather13 @loserboyfriendrjl @fracturedsunsets @chasingthemoony @stars-and-leather @starsofleo

thats all im doing idk how you guys can stand js copy and pasting moots over and over i cant do this i did the first six that came up and that seems like enough 🤷‍♀️

begun doing

going to do

finished

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

I hope y’all like my OC’s!! I picked them cuz theyre the closest i have to Vampires and werewolves :) and also because theyre my favorite :)

For those who dont have an account on the artfight but are still interested in my oc’s, I’ve provided the description that i gave them on their pages under the cut off :)

These two are from the story im working on that i hope to turn into a webcomic one day called Where Does The Heart Lie! I hope you enjoy~

Kreios:

Overview:

Kreios is a 6'7" shaggy man who is visibly inconvenienced by most things in his life. He works as a Territory Patrol Captain for his Clan that resides in The Forest of Thieves. He is albino, has depression, is demiromantic/asexual and his personality type is ISFP

His design is based off of the idea of "a sheep in wolf's clothing" to compliment his counterpart, Ivaylo, whose design is based around "a wolf in sheep's clothing". As such, he wears a wolf hide Coat, but is otherwise a shaggy sheep of a man.

Mannerisms/Way of Life:

-Kreios is just gigantic and he lumbers and slouches everywhere he goes.

-He falls asleep randomly even while standing up and when he's asleep, you could put anything near him and he'd hold it.

-He doesn't respect other people much. He's only here to do a job, and when he's done, he goes home.

-When Kreios is in his little apartment, he's either carving, cooking, or sleeping. he doesnt have guests, he doesnt hold parties, he's simply alone. And that's the way he likes it.

-He makes money on the side taking carving commissions from others in his clan. What is usually ordered is a Chess set.

-Kreios is crazy good at playing chess.

-He's not blind nor is he not paying attention, he's a very strategically intelligent man. However, people often underestimate his intelligence because of his aloof nature.

-he is not very visibly expressive due to the hair in front of his eyes and he tends to keep a neutral mouth shape. However if he's feeling inconvenienced, he's gonna hit you with a scowl.

Where His Heart Lies:

Kreios feels so deeply. When he respects, when he protects, when he loves. He does it all with all of his Heart and his soul. If he loves you, you'll know it. He hates hiding any of his emotions and is also terrible at lying.

Dynamic With Ivaylo:

He and Ivaylo were childhood friends, but life kept pulling them apart. Their childhood village was destroyed by an ever-growing empire, they wound up finding homes in different clans in their young adult years, and now they must keep their relationship to each other bottled up even though their territories have moved to be right next to each-other's.

Until their clans can become allies, they cannot interact.

Ivaylo:

Overview:

Ivaylo is a very particular Clan Leader who expects the most from everyone. His clan is made up of those who were cast out of their own clans in the Forest of Thieves for their various disabilities. The first person he took in was a little girl missing the bottom half of her left leg and he now refers to her as his daughter. He has anxiety and mild OCD, is homoromantic/homosexual, and his personality type is ISFJ

His design is based off of the idea of "a Wolf in Sheep's clothing" to compliment his counterpart, Kreios, whose design is based around "a Sheep in Wolf's clothing". As such, he wears a sheep hide vest under his big fur coat.

Mannerisms/Way of Life:

-Ivaylo commands and expects respect from all.

-He is very particular about small details. When he started living in the forest, he couldnt control much, so what he can control, he will do so perfectly in his eyes. His hair may look unorderly, but rest assured it is perfectly quaffed.

if something isn't right orderly-wise in his eyes, he will only focus on that one thing and cannot focus even if he's having a conversation with someone or even fighting

-In a work setting, he is ruthless and cold, but out of work, he is also cold, but in a "leave me alone" kind of way. a lone wolf, if you will. He finds having close relationships with those he feels are his employees is incredibly improper.

-Though he is cold, he is never quick to anger. He keeps a level head always.

-He admires loyalty and is very loyal to ones he loves.

-He is crazy bad at playing chess.

-Ivaylo walks with his head held high.

Where His Heart Lies:

-He wants to make a better life for his whole clan, but mainly his daughter, Calbex, who he refers to as X. All he wants is to live a peaceful life with those he loves.

-Life twisted him into a cold monster, but at heart he's very childish and sports a very impish smile. You can get him to giggle if you compliment him.

Kreios:

He and Kreios were childhood friends, but life kept pulling them apart. Their childhood village was destroyed by an ever-growing empire, they wound up finding homes in different clans in their young adult years, and now they must keep their relationship to each other bottled up even though their territories have moved to be right next to each-other's.

Until their clans can become allies, they cannot interact.

Calbex:

Calbex is his daughter and he loves her so much. She's an eccentric gal, to say the very least. She knew him before he became a very large Clan leader and as such he can show his true self to her, but not completely. She is his daughter, after all, he must be strong for her and critical of her for her to learn to thrive in the environment they're in.

[sentientgopro]

Okay, screw it, It's been on my mind alot, I'm writing the damn mirror post so I can get it off my mind.

There's a song I listen to often that has a couple of lines about "breaking the mirror". I'm the type of person who feels the need to understand every line of every song they listen to, so I googled the meaning. (Side note, part of me felt like it was right to write girl instead of person and she instead of they? I almost always use gender neutral terms in anything I say online regardless of being about me, but feeling like saying she is not something I've done before. That was weird. Back to the point.)

So I don't know how commonly known it is or whether people still pay attention to old superstitions, but apparently breaking mirrors brings you years of bad luck, but eventually you'll be just fine.

And there's obvious parallels between this idea and transitioning. Things will get alot harder after you start, but you'll be infinitely better off when you start to reach the other side. Right now, I can live simply as a guy and not have to worry about the perils of being trans, but once I break the mirror, it's on.

But I can't get over how there's this really old symbolism of taking the very thing that displays who you are, and shattering it, and it's gonna cause alot of problems for a while, but then the reflection is restored, better than ever, and all the bad is washed away.

And this was just a neat little idea in my head, until I saw a CERTAIN game with a certain stereotype was on sale for like £3 and bought it. And oh my fucking God, mirror symbolism is EVERYWHERE, because of course it is. The very incarnation of the bad parts of Madeline literally come from looking herself in the mirror and breaking it. People have talked before about the heavy Mirror symbolism in Celeste, often mentioning trans people's relation to mirrors, but recontextualising that with the superstition and the things I just mentioned made it hit so hard for me when it clicked and I put it all together.

Now, I always knew this would be an aimless rant, but I still spent a while trying to think of a good way to tie it together but its not working. I'm just gonna talk about the lyrics now and how they reflect my specific situation. Its 4 lines, in pairs, in two seperate verses:

"I need time to break all the mirrors,

But my mind is in pieces and not ready to make it clearer."

"Time to make it all clearer,

And if time never ceases I'll be ready to break the mirror."

How often do you hear trans people talk about how theyre not ready, or theyre finding excuses for themselves, and they don't know why? I'm the same, but I genuinely have a rock solid excuse for myself, that I live in an unsupportive and overcontrolling household, so I couldn't even start doing anything in secret because of how restricted I am. I should be going to Uni in about a year and a half, so that's the starting point. But even if this wasn't the case, I dont think Id start transitioing yet, Im not ready, my mind is in pieces and not ready to make it clearer.

But that's the thing, it IS time to make it all clearer. Ive got time, with no pressure, to figure myself out and improve my mental state so that I'm in the best position possible to break the mirror. So as long as I never cease doing that, I'll be ready to break the mirror.

If you're wondering what the song is, It's The Gift by Kevin Sherwood and Elena Siegman. The rest of the song isn't a trans allegory or anything, I honestly couldn't tell you what most of it is about, it's from fucking COD: Black Ops 3 Zombies lmfao. Every map in the Zombies mode of the Black Ops games has a secret song, usually by Kevin Sherwood and often with Elena Siegman singing, but sometimes its a different vocalist.

The reason I'm mentioning all this is because the map this song is on is Literally called "Revelations". Yep, certainly having a few of them lmao.

So, thanks for reading this unhinged rant about mirrors that's probably unoriginal as shit, I'm going to cut this off Immediately before I launch into a rant about how good Kevin Sherwood's music is. Honestly, hes too good to be working on COD, not to mention how Elena Siegman has the voice of an angel and a demon at the same time, that girls range is insane. Fuck, Im already slipping into a rant, I just need to stop writi

[handbagman]

may I hear about the lore to your ocs (you don’t have to answer this but I just think your ocs r cool)

thank you 4 asking herws a braindump from what i can rmemebr 😭😭

charlie is a cloud god and his son mariel is a little water dude abd also the prince . charlies eye is also Fucked up(cause of stupid grandpa lore LMDAOOO) and its so like. dense i guess(????) that half of his body is slowly disintegrating. he gets help from A Doctor but doesnt actually pay attention cause of the disintegration so he just gets his medicine and never takes it. after a while of not taking the medicine he doesnt notice anything wrong until He starts Rapidly Disintegrating

okay hes not Rapidly rapidly disintegrating hes just getting fucjed up faster so he calls a cool company over to give him a body guard and his bodyguard is a guy named sirius vega (who is. importabt later LMFAOOO)

when he still has a bit of him left sirius (<- guy for later) literally has to give him like. 40 million stardust (<- important later) pills a day just so that he could stay conscious (<- ALSO IMPORTANT LATER)

when he gets rapidly disintegrated the only surviving parts arw the side of his body with the eye so he just lost his left brain left arm most of his heart his leg its like that one tiktok audio where its like "his leg got turned inside out" LMFOAOAO the reason he isnt dead is because of the jackload of stardust (<- still important) he had to take

sirius starts having to watcg mariel and keep charlie in check . problem is that sirius also has basic (not-human) needs and sleeps as well so whenever he sleeps charlie goes like "oh its time to get silly" and then starts grabbing people from Down Below (the planet below has other kinds of people) for experiments and also killing them 😭

mariel hears all this shit and as a little like. 14 year old (damn i never said his age) he goes in to investigate (when charlies not there) . when he sees all the deadbodies and Very Sad People hes like "NAHHHH" and runs out the room .

charlie is about to enter the room when that happens so hes just like "damn bro 🤣 wanna help" and mariels like "DAD WHAT THE FUCK" and charlies like "🤣🤣🤣🤣"

their house castle thing is coincidentally on the Edge of the Highest level of cloud so mariel just runs out the house (sirius still sleeping like a boat engine LNFOJAOA) and Jumps off and charlie watches like "damn ☹️"

the next day while charlies getting in a argument wirh sirius "WHERE THE FUCK IS HE" "BRO HE JUMPED OFF" "HE WHAT???" mariels on The Planet.

on the planet theres 2 other types of dudes the fire and the plant dudes (long story short he doesnt actually know much about these guys other than whatever he got in school and the last thing he remembers is The torture room so he doesnt think about it). mariels about to make the third kind on Complete accident

LONG LONG LONG story short stardust gives life to people theres cool star guys that live in space that dont actually kill people by heat and stardust is like dandruff to them so it just gets Everywhere and everyone has Some stardust in them

EXTRA LONG STORY SHORT water people (from the clouds) are made from fish. how are the fish made? idk 😭 when water people evaporate (grow up) the fish slowly die and they turn into cloud people . since mariel is Not in the clouds his ass is NOT gonna evaporate for a while

AANNNYYYWAAAYYYYSSS jesus christ okay so mariel starts crying over the river when he sees that he cant live the rest of his life as a little fish guy and fish have started gathering around him and when he cries theres Little Bits of his Stardust in the tears so when they hit the water the fish (that are already alive) come alive as well (cause now. the water is alive(???))

the fish are like "what the fuck is rhis what happened" and mariels like "AHHHHHH AHHHHHHH AHHHHHH" cause hes like 14 and all tjat Other Stuff

the fish cant go back into the water and because theyre all like. 2% mariel (the stardust) (like skim milk!) they vaguely understand the world around them . and considering The World Around Them for 100% of mariels life was living in a little castle with a king in a monarchy thats what the water people start making with mariel as their leader

fastforward like 5 years the waterpeople kingdom shit were doing. alright. not horrible. they started making their own water people and stuff very fun. mariel didnt really do much (cause he didnt need to do anything) and nobody actually attacked each other cause most the fish beef was with the fish personally and not the water people themselves

what mariel Doesnt know is that his dad was actively trying to find his ass in the last 5 years . when he got in that argument with sirius (sirius got forced to stay in the castle with him) (+ felt like he had to so that charlie doesnt kill anyone else) sirius was like "TELL HIM YOU'RE SORRY FOR SHOWING HIM DEAD PEOPLE OR SOMETHING??? WHAT THE FUCK????" and charlie was like "oh but i have to find him to do that" and sirius was like "ohhh my god GO FIND HIM THEN"

his dad Finally found him with a cool ass telescope and was like "hmmmm yes. maybe when i say sorry i can also tell him to come home"

charlie doesnt actually Know what hes apologizing for but he gets sirius to go sneak in there and give a envelope to some guy that passed it over to mariel and mariel was like ".Well."

envelope basically said (in shit handwriting) "SON PLEASE MEET ME I AM SORRY THERE IS A COOL HILL NEAR YOUR KINGDOM PLEASE GO THERE I WILL SAY SORRY. NOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER PEOPLE THOUGH THEY SCARE ME"

charlie actually was gonna apologize and he even made a Cool Lightning Bolt to do it

sirius was still on the planet so he kind of just. watched from a distance as mariel went over to this hill

charlie wanted to be Dramatique with that shit so he was gonna shoot a lightning bolt down before he came down

problem is 1. shooting lightning is hard 2. he only has 1 (VERY BLURRY) eye to see out of 3. hes fuckinf stupid

so. mariel gets there. and charlie Shoots the lightning bolt Right At His Arm and Demolishes it Entirely

sirius is obviouslt panickinf now cause hes like ">,9!,]@0?@0" got out his hiding spot to try and help and mariel is just laying there like the familg guy death pose

sirius gets over to his dead body and is like "😭" (<- literallt he starts crying)

SIRIUS LORE SPEEDRUN TO EXPLAIN WHY HIM CRYINF IS IMPORTANR

1. sirius is the doctor from before thats how he knew how to help-ish with the meds

2. he got kicked off the doctor team for wanting to Actually Help Peoplw

3. he was a Very Good Doctor so people actually requested for him before he got fired

4. he got shot in the head by said doctor team but still lived + multitude of other injuries

5. he lived because Hes not actually fully cloud

- His ass is actually a star guy covered in cloud skin. Long long long story short this star person was beefing with some other star person and lost So Fucking Bad that they defied the laws of. space i guess and fell onto the planet below. as soon as the star person fell they got attacked and i guess some cloud guy had a Very sharp spear so it cut a small piece of the star off

- that small piece of star is sirius, whos stardust slowly brought the cloud ground (cause they live on clouds. cause theyre cloud people) alive and wrapped himself in it

- the very large piece of star Still doesnt know what happened

- random fact but stars in space have 1 set form but stars in any place with gravity can get as big or small as they want . the star person 100% couldve killed everyone on the cloud land they just Didnt Know where it was or what they were doing

-said star person lives under the top layer of cloud and (yeah it filters in light and rain LMFAOO) helped mariel get on the planet withoit him dying

6. also sirius is trans the reason charlie didnt properly recognize him is cause doctor him was pre transition

7. whenever sirius feels Very Lots of Emotion he starts "bleeding" (literal liquid star starts leaking) from every cut in his body + his eyes

when mariel got hit with lightning it also fucked up BOTH his eyes (made them the same thing his dad has)

since starDUST brings people to life and sirius is a Literal Star Wrapped in a Cloud Coat (not like he knows that) when he cried he cried Over tje body and his liquid star stuff brought mariel straight back to life but it also fucked him up heavily

long story short sirius runs away from the castle Properly, mariel rips his cloud eyes out ans abandons his water dudes out of panic + blindness and charlie is now fixated on getting his son back

there is. more. but i have to go now so if anyone actually read this fsr and read rhe entire (i didnt count how many woeds it is) thing Thank You LMFAOOO

doesnt really matter though cause i dont even talk about my ocs rhat much on here

[whorewithagodcomplex]

sweetheart,

i love ya, but I'm not doing that for the rest of my life, no sir,

everyone knows not to marry into that, and its kinda common sense not to date someone with your type of addiction and just walk away, like we all know its never gonna work if youre constantly making your partner feel like shit because youre always lusting of the things you so desperately want, and yeah you may say that 'your're better, real, youre my love theyre just pictures, theyre just videos, ect) but we all know you wish it was them you could have when your gazing longingly and thirstly at those pictures, you create relationships with all these women, i just happen to be in person version added to the collection, its nasty, and its horrible knowing this will likely never change, cause its 'not that bad' its 'a comfort thing' 'i was alone for so long' and i have to live feeling like im always competing with them, i cant escape them, im so fucking tired of being paranoid that the person i love is going to always be looking at something more appealing, its awful, that constant pit in your stomach everytime hes lookin at a female character a little too closely, or when the girls are everywhere for him, camera roll, most social media, even his wallpapers on all devices, sure theres a photo of you two, sure as a homescreen but its really just a sunset photo and we're hidden in a low corner hidden by apps, and the never paying that close attention to you, you learn as much as you can about him listen to every word he says but doesnt care to know about you, with the exception of major plot points he knows nothing about what you like and why you like it, its either you rarely get a chance to speak, or youre perpetually cut off, or just simply ignored when speaking about yourself, but, he knows everything they say, knows every little detail, their backstories are phenominal and look how hot they are, he wont really say that to you anymore youve shown you dislike, but you know, you always know, so you try your best to be pretty and good enough to be wanted like he wants them, but you never get wanted like that, to be fair you never did, this was the first time someone is showing they love you and want you, but of course if i wasnt wantable before him what makes me wantable now? yknow all his needs are met by them and his ablilty to do so much with them that he feels no need to pay any mind to you beyond the physical and guidance, yeah he loves you, you know that hes shown that, but is it worth the mental and emotional exhaustion it takes to fight for a normal relationship? one where we both feel happy? i know theres no way he isnt miserable too, the contant bickering the anxiety of fucking up, but c'mon man, if you cope properly, like by speaking (without lashing out) to someone when things are too much, not falling further into an obsessive chemical pick-me-up addiction and honestly this sex obsession, youd do so much better, but you wont because its one of them hidden addictions that no one but your friends and people youre close to know about, by your choice, and you think that means its totally fine, because I'll stick around regardless right? cause i have this long and im making life plans with you and i love you more than youll ever know and as long as i dont see it' or notice it its fine, it wont kill me, youll keep going until im about to cut my losses and you promise and youll try you really will, but itll creep back and we'll be back at square one, or youll get better at hiding it from me, youre already pretty good at it now, ill bet money that if i got 3 hours and all your passwords id find cia sized files everywhere and id puke and cry myself to sleep for months, and i know youll only get better at it, and i dont want to be paranoid that your girls are still around my whole life, what kind of example am i setting for my daughters if i just let myself live like that, god id kill my son-in-law if he made her feel like that, honestly id kill him for most of the things youve done, so why am i letting it happen to me???

[cubedmango]

I’m crying we’re literally the same like that’s what hurt because he didn’t even have to finish speaking you already knew that he was going to say that’s why ‘I love/like him’ like you KNEW and his feelings were clearly so evident throughout that whole scene like that for me too was when I knew things were Serious for him also the way he literally had to pull himself away from adachi when he had finished wrapping the scarf around before he gave it one last soft squeeze);£:!:!:OOOOF I CAN’T like God. The yearning… the Love… and then not to mention the way adachi had realised first hand that actually yeah someone Was and will continue paying attention to him, along with admiring him from afar PLUS been so enamoured by his very existence that they’ve learnt all these little quirks about his personality already like for him to have that Oh moment right then and there that ‘oh this person really cares about me? Genuinely?’ Had me WEAK and yeah let’s not even. Cause I love following sensei ofc but ooh the way my heart nose dives whenever I see anything about /that/ like please let me live in blissful ignorance PLEASE😭 also idk why but this is more proof that elon musk is an evil evil man because videos of them from their fanpages keep getting recommended to me when I don’t interact or follow anything related at All??

YEAH YEAHHH the way kurosawa just kept lingering and taking his sweet time w that scarf when he couldve wrapped it in like 5 seconds easy but he Didnt bc when does he ever get chances like this???? like how many times in those 7 years would he have been able to just be near adachi not for work but just bc he Can be and he wants to help adachi any way he can even if its as little as lending his scarf ....... and adachi seeing how kurosawa had noticed even his most unremarkable moments and seen them as his good qualities when adachi himself had been full of self-deprecation basically the entire day . i am never getting over this scene i swear to god

musks new twt algo knows exactly what u dont want to see and then fills ur fyp with Only that thing its so bad..... luckily ive only been interacting w jp fans now so i dont see any of those fans anymore but it sucks so bad that theyre everywhere invading the tags still..... i guess this is just how its gonna be now :(

[collectalong]

You look up at the sky, shades reflecting the sad sendoff—a poor, wretched board, riding the sickest gains with no poorer sucker to hype about it. You suspect UNREAL AIR MARK II will go the way its predecessor did—floating ever higher into tubular bliss.

Really gotta get better at captchaloguing these guys before they fly.

Huh? Oh, right. This guy.

The medical care industry is one you rarely paid patronage, even in your early youth. It was common knowledge that hospitals and pediatricians were TOTAL HACKS and, furthermore, only cared about wringing every AMERICAN DOLLAR from your clammy hands.

Maybe there's a reason the school nurse looked at you funny whenever physicals came around.

At any rate, this guy isn't a school nurse. Really, you were just entertaining the poor sap—beatboxing after your slip-up seemed to only convince him to look at you, so here you are.

While thick eyebrows raise, you hardly react to his suggestion. In fact, this whole time, you kept a stoic poker face, as it is your resting expression to begin with.

DAVE: you sure you wanna bore that guy with whats essentially just another twister tuesday here

DAVE: barely even a bovine spinnin around my spillout

DAVE: frankly id be more surprised if that happened though i mean

DAVE: bigass cow circling a scrawny fuck like me

DAVE: plus the fact im wearing red man

DAVE: hes not gonna like what hes seeing

DAVE: will literally see the red of both shirt shoes and entrails

DAVE: would really need a hospital by then

DAVE: but until that happens maybe ill count on hopping one legged flamingo style to the nearest family mart and nab me some lunch

DAVE: god im addicted to the famichiki

DAVE: i dont shill for many things but i would upend my entire social presence to be a famichiki influencer

DAVE: not that they need the pr but honestly

DAVE: half the bastards ruling the airwaves dont need that space anyway

DAVE: its all about market saturation

DAVE: literally you dont even need to be paying attention to any of the ads in or out your ass

DAVE: it just has to blend into your background so you think its a part of your whole life

DAVE: then eventually you just say fuck it and bite

DAVE: thats why shitty mobile games take up stupid raunchy ad space everywhere

DAVE: i swear i had to skip through at least a hundred of those stupid ads of the mom and her kid freezing to death while an inept disembodied hand put the bathwater in the furnace making the whole thing explode

DAVE: which

DAVE: not exactly how that works

DAVE: but it doesnt even matter because theyre both ice blocks now

DAVE: good luck with that blow weighing on your conscience

@collectalong sent in this prompt: “So, what’s the prognosis, Doc? Am I gonna live?” DAAAAAVE

                     ❝  you'll be fine.  ❞ itsuki kneels himself next to the other, taking a look at the other's ankle. it seemed the other had been trying to catch some "unreal" air on this incredibly shoddy looking skateboard (actually... where did that thing go?) — well, regardless of how it happened, it didn't look broken. a typical sprain at the worst.

                     eyes look up to meet the guy's shades; he doesn't like how well they hide his face. it makes it hard to read his expression. if only it suited his own character to wear sunglasses like that... that actually sounds quite useful. unfortunately he played the smiling, cheerful role — rather than the stoic cool guy. missed opportunities, truly.

                     ❝  you'll probably want to go to the hospital, though. i have a family friend who works at one nearby — i'm sure they'd be willing to take a quick look at it if i asked.  ❞ he'd feel a bit guilty just leaving the guy on his own. sometimes you just have to perform a good deed... it helps make one feel like a better person than they might actually be.

[freesomebodybyluna]

Diary time!!!

[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

[tonycamonte]

samosa recipe from memory courtesy of my chef idk where he got the recipe but he probably made it up

like 6 maybe 7 potatoes depending on how big they are. decent size we used russet potatoes but honestly i think theyre kind of nasty so go crazy if i was in charge of the world i would use sieglinde because theyre my favourites for everything but yukon gold would probably be good too + they sell em everywhere. cooked + peeled (protip if youre normal peel them when theyre not freezing cold and wet and gross) + chopped into chunks

big yam also cooked + peeled + also in chunks (ALTERNATIVELY. frozen peas heated up or whatever other veggies we were supposed to do that but we didnt have any lol)

a lot of ginger minced it said 1tbsp so something like that maybe a little more

4 cloves of garlic minced

really big onion cut it however you want idr my partner did it. like pretty small

curry powder idk how much

sunflower oil (or whatever vegetable oil it doesnt really matter that much i dont think)

1 1/2 tsp turmeric

1 tsp garam masala (i think i really dont know. does that sound like too much?)

maybe 2 tsp ish tbsp maybe of curry powder my partner did it so idr but something along those lines

1 tsp salt i think

1 lemon worth of lemon juice. google says this is 3 tbsp we had more than that who cares. 4tbsp lemon juice okay

three maybe four packages of fillo pastry. just like a ton idk also protip from my chef its okay if its the really cheap stuff because you can barely taste it anyway theres gonna be other flavours in the way

cut up ur veggies duh. sautee onion + garlic in a pan you could do the garlic first and then add onion i fucked up and did it in the wrong order but its not a big deal. oil + garlic + onion + heat = done. add lemon juice here i think? doesnt matter that much either also add ginger sorry i forgot cook that with the garlic

this was the worst part which was that my partner no offense to her is maybe not good at following directions or something i asked her to measure out the spices and she never did and then she never told anyone so we only had curry powder but i dont think it matters........ maybe........ i dont care it tasted good to me so follow your heart and put your spices in your onions

okay go back to your potatoes + yam and mash those just a little with a pastry cutter or a masher whatever. just a little though. this should be in a big ass bowl btw

now add onion garlic to your potatoes. mix those up + mash until it's chunky + the potato looks maybe half the size it was when you cut it. the yam should be kind of gluing everything together good job. you might be supposed to add the lemon juice here i was not paying attention but i dont think it makes a huge difference. the important thing is this is like chunky and cool you're not making mashed potatoes you're not even making colcannon okay youve had a samosa you know what to do

now take ur fillo and unfold it two of the guys working with me had never seen it before so let me explain there's gonna be a big rectangle of dough that's made of a zillion really thin sheets. you dont want to use all of these sheets because then you have like a nasty savoury baklava it would be horrible so you want to separate two of the sheets at a time it's crazy hard and you'll probably rip it but it dont matter. okay take two sheets keep them stacked and using a really sharp knife cut them in half lengthwise and then lengthwise again so you have four strips. protip dont drop this on the floor or cut it into squares like we did

okay good now take a scoop of the filling like maybe two tbsp ish idk probably more than you think is necessary otherwise theyll look ugly like mine did and put it at the top of the strip. now fold that top square where the filling is in half diagonally so it makes a triangle then fold that down horizontally and back over diagonally etc etc then you get an obtuse triangle very beautiful. take a little more oil on a brush and brush the end so when you fold it over it sticks and then a little more on the top. do that like fifty times and then cook them till golden brown on a baking sheet + parchment and now you have enough samosas to feed all the vegetarians at your school

also i know i said this took two hours if you made like a sixteenth of this recipe it would not take that long + you'd have a normal amount of samosas. if you have like ten friends who all like folding things though you could i guess do this for real though. also he claims these are "punjabi style" but i cannot speak to the veracity of this statement

gmorning i just spent from 9 am to 11 making like thirty samosas

[larnax]

bulbapedia is like . every evolution of litwick’s entire description is “this pokemon is evil and fucked up and manipulative and it will eat your soul” but like thats just his food :( litwick eats soul to survive its not his fault.... ingame its proven that you can walk around with a level 100 chandelure for as long as you want no problem. all the chandelures observed are in environments where they’re treated like toys or decorations and not animals who feed on a resource and their access to said resource is totally unmanaged

 i am firm and correct in my belief that a properly fed and trained litwick is just a cat

ive got more but im gonna put it under the crunchies bc ive only played one pokemon game so this is mostly just stuff i know in my heart

the problem with most ppl who keep litwicks-chandelures is that they dont regulate how much soul it eats. you can train em to only skim off what you can easily replenish/get some items that prevent it from just slurping you dry. takes effort but it can be done!

then litwicks are like i said just cats. are they domesticated? technically. do they act like it? no

also in the anime its said they mess with electronics which i think is very funny. equivalent of cat sitting on the keyboard to get ur attention is litwick taking a nap on your laptop permanently disconnecting you from the internet

litwicks are easy to keep an eye on but lampents and chandelures really like to wander off. the solution? leash. trainers patiently keeping a hold on the hot pink leash while their chandelure is pulling against it with all its might to the tune of “ashy we’ve talked about this. if you want to stop wearing the leash you have to stop trying to lead lost children to the spirit world. ashy i can stand here all day until you decide to cooperate.”

they really like to pretend to be lamps anyway like cats who think theyre invisible bc theyre behind a table leg. lampent hiding behind a chair like “you cant see me you cant see me :) :) :) i never have to get my pokevet checkup because i am an invisible ghost :) :)” meanwhile its bright purple glow and long arms are clearly visible

chandelure and lampent are pretty clean but litwicks leave wax literally everywhere like shedding dogs. to have a litwick is to be constantly dealing with singed clothes and drippy wax like. on the side of your door. a small price to pay for little guy

[thegeminisage]

me sighing and rubbing my temples ok if you’re not watching but wanna know, here’s what happened on supernatural. it was a bad episode

sam, dean, and jack are the only people left in the world

dean makes it back to hastings and tells sam and jack that cas died to kill billie and save dean by summoning the empty, but he leaves out the love confession (called this in my fic, thank you)

he didn’t change out of the jacket until a timeskip later

jack cried and prayed to cas but there was no answer

LOTS of pretty horrifying/sexy shots of the world being empty. like, covid pandemic lockdown footage. that chilled me right down to my bones

at some point dean finds a dog and he’s SOOO happy like this one little dog is a win but then chuck shows up and vanishes the dog too

and theyre like ok chuck what do you want us to do kill each other? fine we’ll do it but put the world back and put cas back and chuck was like lol no

so then back at the bunker a few days later dean’s phone rings and it’s CAS’S PHONE and MISHA COLLINS says dean im outside im hurt please let me in and dean RACES to the door and then it’s fucking LUCIFER

who god busted out of the empty (THATS BREAKING CANON GOD ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT) to come and steal his “death book” - death has a book for everyone telling how they die, god included, and only death can read it. that book COULD kill chuck or at least say how he dies but none of them are death and death just died so lucifer brought a reaper, killed the reaper to make the reaper death, and the reaper opened the book and read it

oh yeah michael survived somehow but adam is dead so it’s just michael in there. they tried to get michael to read the book earlier and he couldnt lol

then lucifer KILLED THE NEW DEATH and took the book so he could take it back to god

and lucifer and michael fought and lucifer called him a cuck twice. yes really. he mightve called cas a cuck i wasnt paying attention

anyway, then michael stabs him, so the book is open, but nobody can read it

sam says he used the book of the damned to find a spell in the book that can kill god, so they go to the side of this extremely beautiful lake which is very sunny and filmed very poorly and do this spell, and chuck shows up and stops them and beats the shit out of them

there’s a long sequence where chuck beats them up and tells them over and over to stay down and they wont do it. they keep helping each other up. on paper this would have made me cry but the execution was a bit awkward. i think of the buildup in swan song and the beautiful music and the camerawork and how tense i felt in a similar sequence when lucifer was killing dean and i just...this sequence REALLY coulda been it, god telling them to stay down and them refusing, but it wasnt

anyway jack shows up! it turns out he’s been absorbing power from everywhere all episode. from plants, from michael and lucifer, and now from god trying to kill the winchesters. so he takes god’s powers and makes god human (also called this in my fic)

and it turns out that the way god will die doesnt matter because one day he’ll simply get sick and die forgotten like other humans. which was admittedly sexier than outright killing him

dean did say “you think we’re gonna kill you well thats not who we are” in a callback to cas’s love confession and i maybe died a little. gotta take my joy where i can get it

then jack put everyone back (called that too) and said he wasn’t coming back to the bunker (also called that ugh my mind) but that humans should believe in themselves instead of him, because he believes in humanity

then there was a montage of all the cast and side characters over the years over some classic rock

THEN we cut to sam and dean in the bunker saying now that chuck is no longer writing their story, theyre free, and the story can go wherever they want. and dean puts his arm around sam and they get up and walk away

with a slow pan to the table they were at, with their initials and mary’s name and jack’s name and CASTIEL’S NAME!!! carved into it

and then the credits

supposedly that was the SEASON finale and the next one is the SERIES finale but ??? i honestly dont know what they could have left to do that would fill 45 whole minutes. i know misha collins isnt coming back (and FUCK them for cas baiting me) so like...aside from sam and eileen getting back together ??? who knows! they literally wasted so much time just saying that chuck had all the power and there was nothing anyone could do and then pulled that outta their asses like. i know every episode cant be swan song but swan song was beautiful and meta and made me feel. this episode made me numb :/

[haikyuu-bf-scenarios]

Akaashi Keiji : First Meeting

Oh boy it has been a hot minute since ive been on here. Holy fuck, im an awful author. I apologize so much. Also?? theres like 400 people now following me and thats the most amount of followers ive ever had and im just??? super shocked and thankful!!!

I should be able to upload more. I am working two jobs but im now doing online schooling and have a therapist and am in a much better place now. The prompts are coming i promise.

For now please just enjoy this. *edited*

So you live in a mixed dorm

not that bad, you take evening classes so you never really see anybody

now youre an architecture major and youve got a big project due

due in like a day

your prof gave you options, blue prints by hand or blue prints online

you chose online because theyre easier to comprehend

big mistake

bc now everything is deleted cuz your computers stupid and youre having a mental breakdown cuz its due in a day.

so youre sobbing in a nest of blankets on the floor blasting old edm songs from your scene phase

and you know your neighbours are trying to sleep, they have classes in the morning and youre ruining that

but thats just making you cry harder and then subsequently turn your music up to drown out every. noise.

and at some point you think you hear another noise

not your music, not your tears

but you dont pay attention to it bc youre sad

that is until there are feet in front of your face and youre scrambling to huddle against youre bed

bc fuck, this dudes hot

and you look like a hot mess, and the edm music is still fucking going

youre now scrambling to turn the music off

“uh.., so uh,,, did you- did you need something”

“your music is too loud”

“yeah, i,,, i know, m'sorry. just not- not having a good day... evening? night?”

silence

“im not having a fun time. lets go with that.”

and hes just not? saying anything??

like youre expecting to be scolded by this man, why is he not mad

“sorry for keeping you up, im gonna- gonna keep it down now”

you nod to reinforce your point

i would just like to point out

youre a fucking mess, like a straight up wreck: your face is red and wet, theres still tears running down your face, your nose is running, hairs sticking up everywhere, and youre hiccuping

and hes just standing there… in all his godly glory

looking fucking perfect

“usually when people play loud rave music, they’re partying. not crying.”

“yeah…. i uh, lost all of a really big project and its due in like a day or something. so now im a big crying mess, and disturbing your sleep and-”

“I could probably get it back for you”

“nani????”

oh my god wait no that was so cringey why did i do that

“my friend is always deleting his stuff, and calling me to fix it, so i could at least try”

you feel like youre gonna cry again

and he notices, so now he’s freaking out

“why are you crying?!”

*sniff sniff* “you’re a god send, y'know that”

our boys now v awkward

buts hes still gonna do it, cuz hes also v nice

“so uhh,,, if you could just let me see the work”

“oh right!!”

you jump to your feet to get the program up on your computer

you use CAD Pro, and i have no idea how it actually works, but neither does he so its good

but it does work with excel and microsoft word, and we all know how those work so how hard could it be

by some fucking miracle he gets it back, and you dont know how, i sure as fuck dont, but its probably bc hes part angel

and you go to thank him, but you dont know his name

“akaashi, ive lived next door since the beginning of the year”

hahaha whoops~

(Prompt: I went over to your room because you were blasting music to find you in a pile of pillows and sobbing to some love song and now I don’t know what to do.” - @ whoever came up with this bc i lost my list of creds to give, I swear i had one tho, i swear-)

masterlist Second Encounter

[tally-kiza]

Red melted into the comfortably worn couch, settling down for a quick catnap, Doomfanger nestled beside him. The sun’s warm rays shone down on him through the window. Breath slowing and fog overtaking his mind, Red silently reveled in the wonderful peace and quie--

“GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU HOODLUMS, BEFORE I BLAST YOUR ASS INTO NEXT THURSDAY!!!”

Ope, Pap’s home. Sans sighed, not reacting otherwise. He’d been hoping for a few more hours minutes of beauty rest. Outside, screeching Papyrus sounds intensified as he stomped towards their average but comfortable house. Red snickered. It wouldn’t be a holiday without his brother yelling at teenagers like a grumpy old man. 

Doomfanger lurched up attentively. She skittered towards the door, meowing loudly.

The door flew open as Pyrus trudged in, grumbling under his breath. Heading straight to the kitchen, he tore off the toilet paper clinging to his uniform, before peeling off the outfit entirely, hard candies colliding with the floor as he shook it out. The tall skeleton shook his body wildly in an effort to dislodge the remaining candies from his bones.

With a long-suffering sigh, he flopped down onto the couch next to his brother. 

Sans smirked. “bad day, bro?”

“Have I mentioned, I fucking hate Halloween.”

Doomy crawled onto his lap and jackhammer-loud purring could be heard as Pyrus started petting her absentmindedly. 

“jeez, what happened, dude?” The smaller skeleton inquired, eyebrow lifted.

“Neighborhood teenage brats were mocking me. Again! Requesting me to sing sing that insufferable song, you know, the one with the skeleton in the pin-stripe suit. And when I refused, they threw candy and toilet paper on me!” Recounting the events seemed to worsen his mood, foul aura permeating the air around him. “They have no respect nor decorum!!”

A glint appeared in his brothers eyes, “aw, come on, bro. theyre not that bad. dont be such a hallo-weenie about it.”

Pap groaned loudly. “Ugh, that was terrible!”

“eheheheh yeah, but youre smiling.”

“I AM AND I HATE IT!!”

A few long beats of comfortable silence passed.

THUMP!

Both the brothers jolted.

THUMP THUMPTHUMP!

“what the hell?!” Sans growled. They whipped around to see bright white smears sliding down their living room window.

“THOSE FUCKERS ARE EGGING OUR HOUSE!!!” Pyrus barked.

“sonuva--” More growling. “wait here, ill teach the little bitches a lesson.”

The younger brother scoffed. “As if you could fare any better than I did.”

“oh i absolutely will,” was all that Red uttered before lumbering out the door to confront the aggressors. 

- - - - - -

Thump thwack THUMP!!

- - - - - -

Five minutes later, he silently reentered the house, head downturned. Papyrus side-eyed him with obvious satisfaction.

“Hmm? Did you ‘give them a bad time’ as you always say?”

The shorter (and now much messier) skeleton glowered at the other.

“No? Well look who has egg on his face now! Nyeh heH HEH!!” Papyrus cracked.

As his brother cackled at his own pun, Sans balled up his fists. “ohh, youre gonna pay for that, paps.”

Sensing danger, Doomfanger yowled and sprinted away into the other room.

In the blink of an eye, Red tackled his brother off the couch. Rolling around on the floor, the two of them snarled as they wrestled. Wiping one hand on the eggs that coated his jacket, Sans brought it down his brother’s clean shirt.

Pyrus shrieked, “NO! Why did you do that, that’s disgusting!!”

Attempting to writhe away from his brother’s hold proved fruitless as Sans repeated the action. Their tumbling continued, just as rambunctious as before. Just as Pap pulled his brother into a headlock, the shorter one licked his own phalanx and shoved it into the other’s acoustic meatus.

Jerking away and releasing Red, the taller one gagged. “OH MY GOD! Why did you do thattt?!!”

“you were being too sassy. needed to be put in your place,” he quipped.

Pyrus squawked. “PUT IN MY PL-- You know what, never mind, of course you would do something so vile. Either way, I don’t want to hear your excuses! You can’t just give me wet-willies!!”

“i can and i did.” Sans said smugly. “besides, whatre you gonna do about it?”

Unfazed by his brother’s taunts, Pap’s gaze turned vicious and a sly grin overcame his face.

The other’s eyesockets widened in realization. “wai’ wai’ nah, you wouldnt dare...”

His only response was a smirk. In an instant, Fell’s hands were everywhere all at once. Phalanges squirming into Sans’s neck, ribs, knees, causing peels of laughter spill out of the victim him.

Between breaths, he managed to protest though not really meaning it. “wait, shit, stop!”

“Payback, brother!!” Papyrus cried with fiendish glee.

The relentless attack continued, fingers fiercely scribbling over bones. But it wasn’t long before Sans built up enough resilience to return the favor tenfold.

As Pyrus screeched from the counterattack and Sans laughed maniacally, the two of them continued into the night, delinquents long forgotten.

- - - -  - - - -

“BROTHER! Come on out, already!” Papyrus yelled at his brother’s bedroom’s closed door. “Everyone’s waiting!”

“no!!”

“Just get out here, you look fine!!”

“no!!!”

Groaning, Papyrus--now donned in pirate garb--turned towards his guests. Undyne, Alphys, and the new human he adopted mentors, Frisk had come over to go trick-or-treating, a human holiday where they tricked others into giving them free food while they wore the skins of monsters. Highly insensitive and offensive, in the edgy skeleton’s opinion, but Frisk had insisted on everyone participating this year. Which lead them to where they were now.

All of his guests looked increasingly bored as Red stalled for time. Alphys, dressed as a rotting zombie, was watching Mew Mew Kissy Cutie on her phone with Frisk--who dressed up as a blue knight. Meanwhile, Undyne reached the end of her fuse.

“Runt, if you don’t get out here in 30 seconds, I’m kicking your ass into the goddamned CORE!!”

Loud grumbling erupted from Sans’s room. “fine, jeez, whateva’!”

Out of his room slinked Red, wearing a 1920s-style suit, complete with fedora and toy tommy gun. “i look so stupid! why the fuck’s this thing so constricting!”

“You look fine, now lets get this over with!” decreed Papyrus.

Frisk chuckled, “Gotta say, Sans, you look rather gangsta~.”

Undyne groaned as Alphys merely rolled her eyes.

“HUMAN!” Pyrus gasped. “You’ve been corrupted by my brother’s mediocre puns!”

“eheheh nice one, pipsqueak.”

Undyne sighed loudly, “Can we leave now?!”

“and whatre you supposed to be, fishsticks?”

She glared at him before flipping her hair. “A beautiful and seductive siren, duh.”

Her wife blushed as Red surveyed the siren ‘costume’: a ripped up dress ending in a mermaid tail, and stage makeup to make her look more gruesome and bloody than usual.

“meh.”

“YOU MOTHERF--”

Herding all the monsters towards the door, Frisk laughed nervously, “Okay, okay, lets just go already!! Mom and MK are waiting!”

As the monsters begrudgingly assented and journeyed into this Halloween night, no sad times were to be had and all was well.

...

“Hey, dude, you know you got egg on your house??”

“FUCK, I FORGOT--!!!”

fin.

= = = = = = = = = =

a gift for @quezq! this was a lot of fun. bolded lines are prompts from this!