#theyre an exclusionist!!

[transmaverique]

amab and afab, if they were used as shorthand for the actual full phrases that they signify, with emphasis on the "assigned" part, and an understanding that they are enforcements of normative (ie, dyadic and cisgender and binary) sex, would be like. really useful. but people took the terms and started using them as shorthand FOR normative sex instead of the ENFORCEMENT OF normative sex. so when other trans people (almost always dyadic trans people) ask for your agab they are almost always asking for your Original Genital Situation. your starting point, so to say. and the reason FOR asking is also almost always bc they are trying to also enforce a certain kind of normativity within queer spaces (which is stupid bc being queer is inherently non-normative but here we are). like, you cant be a lesbian if you're ftm, bc you ARE m, so if you ARE a lesbian, then that means you're lying about some aspect of your identity. does that make sense?

it is always always always incredibly.... i do not trust dyadic trans people that use cagab terms, even moreso than i do not trust dyadic trans people that just use agab terms. agab is also coopted intersex language, but the "coercive" part of cagab SPECIFICALLY refers to medical "intervention" of intersex characteristics, such as "corrective" surgeries and hrt. i am deeply fucking suspicious of any dyadic trans person that uses those terms exactly the same as described above, even moreso if they do so bc "all gender is coercive".

like. yeah. that's true. but you use these terms to erase and overtake intersex discussions on the medical abuse of intersex infants. and i cant help but wonder why you would feel the need to do that.

[rouge-the-bat]

me: im a bi lesbian :3

exclusionists & radfems exploding into my space out of nowhere: "just call yourself sapphic oh my god" "kill yourself tra" "thats not a thing youre just bi with a preference" "get raped terf" "ew fucking bihet" "oh you poor lesbian with comphet </3" "cock sucker" "look at this fucking hetero bitch" "youre a lesbophobe, biphobe, and transphobe" "youre just a contributor to lesbians being raped"

me:

[evilneo]

shit dude do you ever just see a blog and you can just FEEL the noxious 14yo vibes </3

[cybrthrillz]

yknow i Wish i could see regretevator fanart in the same way i used to and interact with it but every single time i see a piece of fanart i get paranoid and go to check the persons blog first to see if theyre chill or if theyd want me dead

[lostryu]

have a great day being a "icky exclusionist" with me 🩷💛🩷💛

its just so funny to me that like. having a definition to a label is exlusionist, apparently? like i am sorry but if the definition of the label does not suit you, the label is not for you? you don't try to change the meaning, you find something else. and if people are having a hard time with processing that, they might have a lot of internalized 'phobias to go through.

[scottapez]

god radfems are so mad like. all the time.

[realian]

wow this person is a fucking asshole lmao.

[udurghsigil]

technically the catalyst for me not caring anymore abt discourse was that i had accepted the online definition of lesbian being "non-men loving non-men" up until i saw an essay about how the term "non-men" is functionally useless and from then on i jsut decided to just surf the vibe instead of arguing

[176gumi]

Incredibly funny how """"lgbt infighting"""" has gotten to a point where you can just say "exclusionist" and "micro-label" and people will rush to agree with you without even a first thought. And by funny I mean I Want To Stab.

[autumndragons]

i know ive said this before but i dont think theres been a single fucking time ive seen a dumbass reductive take about literally any queer identity, not just gender, and gone to the persons page and not IMMEDIATELY found openly and blatantly anti-trans shit. i really really wish the people arguing about labels and validity would realize whos saying the same things they are!

[contagious-watermelon]

some people on this site don't like to ever say that any identity label could be incorrect or harmful bc saying that something is "invalid" means youre a transmed exclusionist gatekeeper etc and are inherently homophobic transphobic [insert new word here]-phobic

[svnmouth]

the survey stops counting age at 45 and most of the responses are from tumblr. theres people above 40 who use this site but this survey was not advertised specifically to people who still fall into the 30-45 age range, or older, as far as I can tell. the survey op states the survey will skew to a younger demographic (link).

genuinely cant find any posts from their blog compiling what % of people found the survey through what site/source.

to reiterate biknuckles' point its incredibly shitty to state "the groups who don’t prefer it’s use as an umbrella term are straight people, exclusionists, transmeds, truscums, sex-negative people, and sex work critical people"

when there are still people in other groups who do not prefer its use and their numbers are not included in this paragraph, painting everyone who doesn't prefer it as a bigot.

I'm also not finding posts on if they compiled the answers to "Regarding the term "queer" specifically, do you consider it to be an acceptable umbrella term?", in which the answers were "yes", "yes but only for people who specifically identify as queer, not for the community as a whole", "no", and "null". only posts regarding "x amount found the term as an acceptable umbrella term".

Friendly reminder that LGBTQ+, Queer, and LGBT+ are the preferred terms for the community (x).

Friendly reminder that Queer is approved by 72.9% of the people, and the groups who don’t prefer it’s use as an umbrella term are straight people, exclusionists, transmeds, truscums, sex-negative people, and sex work critical people (x).

Friendly reminder that aros and aces are excluded only 9.2% / 8.1% of the time respectively while being included  78.9% / 81.2% of the time (x)

Friendly reminder that exclusionists are in the minority and aro/ace people are included in the LGBTQ+ community by the people within the community.

[mejomonster]

Just my two cents but how I immediately notice if someone's aligned with terfs politically is if they're against abortion (or more intensely, against even birth control as far as preventative measure and pcos hormone treatment etc). I had to read some persons articles about how they used to be a terf (and how them being detransitioned led to them getting sucked into the terf community). And something that struck immediately was how all of their peers seemed anti bodily autonomy.

I mean... obviously. If you support bodily autonomy, you would Not give a fuck what a trans person is doing with their body!

But it's also like an incredibly easy to notice terfs standing out against feminists. Feminism includes the right to bodily autonomy, the right to make your own choices about your body and health. Terfs believe trans people don't deserve to make their own choices, that all people should NOT get to make choices about hormones or medical treatments for themselves. So like... as soon as someone calling themselves feminist starts arguing Other people should NOT have some right to bodily autonomy? There's your sign. Your sign they're likely to ally with the far right politically, your sign they wish to take away people's rights, your sign they believe some (and quite possibly all) people don't deserve the right to have control over their own bodies and health choices. A "feminist" is arguing people shouldn't have birth control for health issues? For pregnancy prevention? Shouldn't have access to plan b or abortion? A "feminist" arguing certain races should be sterilized, certain economic classes shouldn't get to decide to have more children, arguing certain people shouldn't be allowed to play sports? Giant red flags. Giant giant giant red flags.

1 obviously its pretty clear how arguing one group doesn't deserve the right to bodily autonomy, makes obvious they may support movements taking the rights away from more. So if you're a terf, to decide other races don't deserve bodily autonomy either, or other women, or other social classes... no wonder they align with the far right politically. 2 it's pretty clear how being Against bodily autonomy makes you not a believer in what feminists (i grew up seeing) want: bodily autonomy and equality for people. So if a "feminist" is making any argument that suggests some particular kind or person should not have some right to choose what happens to their own body or health... that's a big sign.

[trans-leek-cookie]

Saw something that made me #stop being ace aro because I can't fucking live like this

[selamat-linting]

today one of people running the central committee advised us on cell building. i had a project brewing in the works with one of my friend to build some kind of community peer support group for the queers in our city. the committee dude says he's concerned that the project will ends up as an lsm or a peer group, so isnt it better if i just recruit my friend directly?

something about the wording pisses me off so badly i swear. it made me feel like he cares more about our org getting a new member than the basic mental health of every queer in this city. i did explain that im trying to recruit her directly too and that the project would be a positive if realized even if it doesnt end up as an affiliate to ours and he seems to understand but. good god, im still mad about it.

like, fuck you so much. you dont know what its like in here. having a group that gives a shit, even if theyre not revolutionary, is still a net positive. trots dont know how to organize i swear to god.

[transmaverique]

[image id:

several screenshots of asks sent by the original anonymous asker. they read,

screenshot 1: so eventually they may go 'okay, maybe i should leave'--because, you know, if you're told that all your existence does is /hurt the person you're around/, you'd rather not do that anymore. and the response is 'see! i knew you'd leave! all you do is isolate trans women! so much for love every trans woman before it's too late!' ect ect ect. 2/5

screenshot 2: i GET why trans femmes/women may feel that way but it feels like certain discourse spaces only hype up that paranoia and catastrophizing. i think it results in a lot of trans women expecting-- and even 'testing' their afab friends thinking that innevitably they'll be the transmisogynists the internet said they'd be. waiting on baited breathe for when they'll be ganged up on. it's like the 'you see more red cars when you expect them' or whatever thing. 3/5

screenshot 3: of course, trans women are targeted in a LOT of ways in their own friend groups-- and like, obviously trans women have been horribly targeted elsewhere. and this isn't to dismiss those feelings-- but like... i feel like looking at your friend group and expecting them to attack you like wolves... isn't a healthy way to live. 4/5

screenshot 4: it becomes a very 'damned if you do damned if you don't' moment for everyone else that, from personal experience (with said person STILL convinced i am GOING to personally attack her at ANY moment when i've never indicated such and if anything just want her to leave me tf alone), ends up being an emotional hostage situation created because sometimes the internet convinces you it's better to act like caricature of your real self because vulnerability and honesty is the enemy. 5/5

end id]

(long ask there's gonna be a lot of parts-- if u get these please put them 2gether)i think specifically the thing w some transfemmes and paranoia around 'tmes' (usually trans men and afab nonbinary people lets be real) is it's like a really fucked up game of chicken. They (used collectively, like as in, the group) psyche themselves up for how they'll 'inevitably' get transmisogyny and hurt by their 'afab friends'-- no matter how much said friends may reassure them. 1/5

Yeah, that kind of thinking doesn't help anyone. It just perpetuates a constant culture of being afraid to say anything at all or approach anyone. It should be obvious that's exactly what we need less of.