#theyre about to crash that damn car

[veggiesforpresident]

"Johnny," Dally said in a pleading, high voice, using a tone I had never heard from him before, "Johnny, I ain't mad at you. I just don't want you to get hurt. You don't know what a few months in jail can do to you. Oh, blast it, Johnny"-- he pushed his white-blond hair back out of his eyes-- "you get hardened in jail. I don't want that to happen to you. Like it happened to me..." - The Outsiders, Chapter 6

[just-spacetrash]

🌟

[jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue]

Holiday - BTS OT7 CEO AU Bonus Chapter 14.5

Sorry for being MIA my loves, life for the moment has calmed slightly, who knows what it has in store tomorow. Just a note, I'm no longer doing taglists as theyre too hard to keep up with and I am trying to avoid stress. Sorry about that I hope this goofy chapter makes up for it <3

4.6K words of the italy trip with the troublesome trio. Warnings: Smut, jealousy, sex implied as a weapon (for revenge), edging, possesive behavior, orgasm denial, money (yes this is a warning it made me swoon)

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THURSDAY

Seven hours into the flight was when what you dreaded happened. The private jet had wifi, and a part of you thought you were going to be safe from the older CEOs if they couldn’t reach you with your mobile on airplane mode, but when it rings thousands of miles in the air, your heart drops. The maknaes eyes all dart to the ringing device in your hand, as you contemplate answering it, but before you can make a decision, it's snatched from your hold. 

“Good evening Hyung,” Taehyung answers smugly. You try reaching for it but he keeps it out of reach.

“Put it on speaker,” Jimin whispers, pressing his ear to the otherside of the phone while Jungkook holds you back from fighting them for it. 

You don’t know what’s said on the other line but Taehyung’s eyes pierce through you, an almost villainous look on his face. 

“We came to flower’s favourite place,” the smirk on his face is dangerous and you knew he wasn’t thinking clearly about the repercussions by taunting them. 

“Tae,” you say warningly, holding your hand out for the phone, not that you would fare better with talking to them. 

“We’d be waiting for you for a while Hyung,” he snickers cruelly, not a side of him you saw very often at all, but when there was a vendetta or score involved, it didn’t matter who it was up against, Taehyung would betray his own flesh and blood for revenge. 

Okay, maybe that was a little far-fetched even in your own mind, but you remember the company sports day, the first and last, where your seemingly innocent boyfriend betrayed Jimin, his closest bestest friend/soulmate, to win, and no one saw it coming. There was a major fall out before everyone started betraying each other in the subsequent races and Namjoon decided that never again would the company have another competing event. The moral of the story? Never underestimate Kim Taehyung. 

“We’ve decided to go on an impromptu holiday for the weekend.”

The grin on his face at whatever is said on the other line is nothing short of evil. He was going to get you killed with this, now you understood why the idiom was about being thrown under the bus, this felt like a damn car crash and you hadn’t even arrived at your destination. Maybe when you landed you could just fly back and apologise. 

“Have a good weekend Hyung.”

He ends the call and passes you back your phone as if he hadn’t just declared world war three! Jungkook finally lets you go and stretches in the aisle, laughing with the other two while you bite your bottom lip nervously. They wouldn’t blame you if you said the maknaes had kidnapped you, would they?

Your phone rings in your hand again, this time with Yoongi’s caller ID, you quickly answer it before they notice, not even able to say hello before an angry voice greets you. 

“Y/n where the fuck have they taken you?” Yoongi growls through the line.

“We’ve… I’ve,” you swallow down your nerves, “Italy…?”

You say it like a question that answers everything, but you really didn’t know how else to respond. 

​​"Kitten, you just agreed to these brats? You didn't think to tell us first?"

“Yoongi,” you whine, “please don’t be mad, it’s just… they just-”

Your phone flies out of your hand, you were too focused on the call to notice the troublesome trio caught on. 

“What-” you gasp, not realising straight away what had happened. “Jungkook! That’s my phone, give it back!”

But he doesn’t, even as you fight him for it. Instead he looks at you like he’s berating you for ruining their masterplans, holding it way above your head as you jump for it, trying to pull his arm down.

“I think we should hold onto this for a little while, bunny,” he says sternly, “you obviously can’t be trusted.”

“Jeon Jungkook give me back my phone,” you scowl.

“Nope,” his lips pop.

“Angel, the whole point in this revenge plot is to deny the Hyungs access to you, we can’t have you calling them, it defeats the point,” Jimin lectures you as if you were dense which only makes you scowl more.

“Oh they’ll have access,” Taehyung smirks, the evil glint in his eyes still present and unsatiated. “But only when we want them to.”

FRIDAY

Arriving at the apartment yesterday (if you could call it that it was more like a villa), quelled your worry over the others, it was too beautiful to think of anything else. When Taehyung told you they bought it, it took a while for your jaw to come off the ground. How they had done it in such a short amount of time you would never know, but the happy way they showed you around, holding you, soft kisses as you smiled, made you completely forget about the purpose of this visit, until of course they woke you up before the sunrise with needy kisses. 

“It’s too early,” you whine incoherently, but somehow they understood you.

“Blame Mr mastermind,” Jimin yawns, although the way Jungkook’s undressing you has his bottom half stirring the rest of him awake. 

“It has to be now if we want our gift to arrive on time,” Taehyung chuckles deeply, something akin to what you imagine a classic maniacal tv villain to sound like. 

“Oh yes,” you scoff, “I forgot I’m just a means for revenge.” You always got caught in the middle of their rivalry, you just didn’t expect it to sting so much this time around, like you were being used. You try to go back to sleep, having had enough of this ridiculous childish behaviour, but Taehyung pulls you up by your arm until you're sitting upright in front of him. 

“Our love for you flower,” he mumbles, pushing your hair out of your face, searching your face earnestly, reading your insecurities like a book, “and our punishment for the hyungs are two very separate matters…”

Something ice cool touches your neck, making you shiver violently in your sleepy state. 

Jungkook’s arms wrap around you from behind, trying to keep your nearly naked form warm, while Taehyung’s fingers on your nape clasp what you realise now is a choker. 

“This holiday is just one stone to deal with them both,” his fingers tilt up your chin so he can show Jimin the sparkle of a hundred diamonds adorning your neck. 

“Perfect,” the eldest of the trio hums in approval before mumbling, “as they say, revenge is best served cold.” 

He smirks, eyes darting down your body as Jungkook starts kissing your neck, both the chill of the piece and the warmth of your skin touching his lips. 

“The recording…” It’s hard to concentrate on Taehyung’s words when the maknae’s fingers dance around your waist, his arms holding you tighter against him. He’s already hard and it’s all your body wants to focus on, but Tae distracts you when you notice the phone in his hand.

“...is for them,” there’s glint of mischief in his eyes, a devilish smirk, “this,” his fingers trace the line of priceless jewels embellishing his beautiful flower, “is for us.” 

—

You can see why they say revenge is an act of passion as your fingertips grip the bed sheets for dear life, open mouth moaning into the mattress beneath you. Your body’s splayed out for his pleasure, his thrusts unrelenting.

“I can see why Namjoon Hyung favours this position,” Jungkook moans out, palm on your back holding you down. “Fuck Baby girl your squeezing me so tight.”

There’s a sadistic chuckle from his lips as he watches his dick slide in and out. He pushes back in deeper, harder, pressing his chest to your back, the angle hitting new spots that made you want to scream. 

“You’re wetting my dick so well,” he murmurs into your ear seductively, just for you to hear, covering you with his whole body, wanting to feel you everywhere. He can feel you breathing hard with the way he smothers you, 

Your hand clamps over your mouth, earning a displeased grunt from Jungkook before he bites down on your shoulder in warning.

“Kitten don’t cover your mouth,” Jimin taunts, forcing your hand away with his grip tight around your wrist, watching you bite your lips so hard they might bleed. “Let the Hyungs hear you.” 

“She really does look like a kitten with that choker,” Taehyung’s signature deep lilt rumbles, his voice full of amusement. His thumb pulls your bottom lip until it's released from your teeth, little gasps escaping as you try to keep quiet knowing they were recording you. Even if the thought turned you on so much you were extra sensitive to their touch, you wanted them to hear you, wanted to moan their names too but that would be too cruel wouldn’t it? And Taehyung wouldn’t be too pleased with that either. 

“Come on beautiful girl let them hear you,” Jungkook orders gutturally, leaning back before his palm spanks your ass hard before returning to your hip, the slap heard sharp through the air followed by your delicious whines. His grip is bruising as he picks up the pace, wanting to elicit more out of you. The harder he fucks you the more his Hyung’s will hear, the thought makes his dumb fucked out grin wider. 

“Don’t call her you know what,” Jimin laughs, the punishment of this was enough for Hobi he was sure, but he couldn’t feel entirely sorry for him when he was one of the perpetrators that locked him out. “Hoseok Hyungs scary when he’s pissed.” 

“He didn’t call her a good girl so he’s exempt,” Taehyung mumbles, almost losing himself to the show you and Jungkook were performing, his heel pressing against his aching length so hard he bites back a groan. Jimin was faring no better, hands in his pants, eyes drunk on how Junkook played with you like his own fuckdoll, you could do nothing but lie there and take it.

“Ah Kookie right there,” you almost scream, the head of Jungkook’s cock was stroking your G-spot making your toes curl, your mouth hanging open, saliva dripping down your lips. “O-oh fuck!” 

Your clit was begging to be touched to push you over, but your limbs were too busy keeping you somewhat steady so you didn’t go crashing into the headboard or falling off the bed. You doubt Jungkook would stop even if you did.

“Baby girl if you want to cum…” Taehyung says with a sinister smug smirk, as if he could hear your thoughts, “... call Jungkook daddy.” 

You whimper in protest, shaking your head vehemently, not wanting to. It was a step too far, you eyed the device in front of you recording away, as if Namjoon was right there listening now. You wouldn’t do that to him, even if your being was screaming at you to do as Tae said just to taste a fucking orgasm. 

“Tsk, bad flower,” Taehyung grumbles, looking annoyed that you wouldn’t behave for his masterplan. “Hyung deserves to be punished.”

He smooths the hair away from your face, leaning down close to you as Jungkook eased his pounding a smidge, edging both of you. It was so close.

“Be a good girl hmmm,” Tae grunts in your ear, trying to be persuasive, using that name against you, “call Jungkook daddy.”

You shake your head again in refusal at his command, you wouldn’t. The hand in your hair slides down your neck, a finger hooking on the back of your choker, tugging hard, a warning to behave. The pressure on your neck made you go dizzy, the rim of gems almost cutting, eyes rolling back as you let out a guttural moan. You meet his now dark gaze, a shiver down your spine has you seconds away cumming, but it seemed the punishment to the older CEOs now extended to you.

“Jungkook,” Taehyung sighs in disappointment and the cock that was pounding into you now disappears with a groan. You feel your walls pulsate against nothing, the emptiness almost painful, but all Taehyung does is kiss your tears as they slip down, letting go of you so your head hits the mattress again, and stopping the recording as he throws the phone aside. He could always edit the audio anyway.

You feel a wetness on your back, the sounds of the maknae fisting his cock until his load shoots all over you. 

“Should we send a picture with the recording?” He smirks looking down at you knowing how much his favourite hyungs would appreciate such a beautiful view. Jungkook turns you on your back, peering down at you with love in his eyes but a smile so devilish. “What do you think bunny?”

You don’t even know what he’s on about, words unable to enter your ears with the way they were pounding, your clit throbbing with the need to be touched, your pussy weeping. 

“Wanna cum,” you whine, thighs rubbing together searching for some sort of friction. 

“Aww Angel wants to cum?” Jimin coos as you squirm before he snickers, glancing at Taehyung’s stone face knowing you weren't going to get there for a while regardless of how much you’d beg and plead. There was a reason Taehyung’s previous partners would call him a tiger in bed, the man could flip a switch in a second, his duality constantly pulling and pushing his partners to and from the edge. Right now, the oldest maknae could see the displeasure of your disobedience in his eyes, the air around him turning dangerous. It was going to be a long day. 

—

“I’m surprised you can stand,” Jimin’s teasing voice pulls you out of your reverie. How long were you staring at this painting for? You lost yourself to it. 

“No thanks to you,” you mutter, eyes still on the soft brushstrokes on the canvas in front of you. At least they let you sleep before your sight seeing, the Europeans had it right, naps in the afternoon should be the law.  

“You’ve been staring at this one for an hour,” Jimin exaggerates with a pout, trying to figure out what was holding your attention. “And Taehyung’s been staring at you.”

At this you turn around to find indeed your devious mastermind boyfriend staring a hole into your back, normally you’d feel his eyes on you but not today. He didn’t like that, he just kept his gaze on you intensely, trying to telepathically get you to notice him but it didn’t work. 

“Who could blame him?” Jimin smirks suggestively, “all these famous paintings and they don’t hold a candle to my angel.”

You roll your eyes, walking away from him and the disgusting amount of cheese he was spewing, trying to locate the last of the troublesome trio. You find Jungkook also enjoying the actual art in the gallery, you were honestly surprised Tae wasn’t with him, this was typically his scene.

“Kookie, do you like this one?” you ask him, taking his hand in yours as you walked past a statue he spent a few more seconds on than the others. 

“Mmmm,” he hums absentmindedly, “the detail’s amazing.”

He sighs in wonder, round eyes admiring the next one in line.

“I need to know how they made it.”

“You want to make one too?” you jest, smiling at him endearingly as he continued to stare. 

“I want to make one of you,” he confesses so easily, making your organs somersault. You try not to let your jaw drop.

“You’re ridiculous,” you breathe, laughing as you pull him away from the exhibit. 

You head back towards the paintings, only to find Taehyung staring intently at your favourite one as if he was ready to start a war with it. Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise you if he did considering his current regime for vengeance. You frown when someone in a business suit greets him with a handshake, wondering how the two knew each other. The conversation, whatever it was about, looks deep, and your curiosity wants you to eavesdrop. 

“Angel lets go to the gift shop,” Jimin grabs your other hand, steering you away before you walk over to Taehyung. 

“Who’s Tae talking to?” You ask, trying to catch a glimpse of the pair as Jimin pulls you and Jungkook in tow.

“Just business,” he replies, not really answering the question at all.

—

Taehyung’s heart is in his throat when they deliver it. It’s the evening, he was hoping you wouldn't be back until after the delivery, but you were so worried about his despondency, especially when he left the three of you and came back to the apartment alone. You had to force Jimin and Jungkook to end the dinner plans early, opting for take out instead. They had to listen to you when you threatened to find Taehyung without them.

“What… what is this?” You gasp, jaw on the floor as they uncover it. No fucking way, nope, no, he didn’t…… for fuck sake he did, you stare incredulously at him, knowing exactly who was behind the purchase. “Kim Taehyung you did not.”

He swears he could see the steam leave your ears and flared nostrils. Even the men from the gallery glanced at you both in worry, contemplating waiting to see if you were going to murder him before they made their leave.

“Flower-”

“Return it.” There was no room for argument in your tone, but argue with you he would. 

“Flower,” he says again patiently, “I wanted it for you.”

Jimin and Jungkook were hiding in the other room praying for Taehyung’s survival, while simultaneously hiding from you. They warned Taehyung about the consequences, you had already made explicit rules about stuff like this, and you never took it well when they broke them. 

“Taehyung, I don't even want to think about how much it cost, or it's going to make me sick,” you say, actually feeling nauseous and slightly dizzy. This was overwhelming, he was overwhelming. 

He sighs before approaching you, fingers stroking your sides to try and calm you, but your arms are crossed in front of you like a barricade. 

“The cost doesn’t matter,” he says, pressing a finger to your lips before you can fight with him, his forehead leaning on yours, eyes beseeching you. “I want to spoil you, why won’t you let me?”

You exhale exasperated. 

“It’s too much,” your jaw ticks, he wasn’t going to win this one. “It’s ridiculously too much!”

“Says who?” he asks you, smiling softly despite your anger. He caresses your face with both hands, holding you so delicately as if you were the million-billion euro-pound-won painting. You couldn’t think of the cost, you just couldn't, you would implode.  

“Tae-”

“I love you, I wanted to buy it for you,” a gentle kiss to your nose has your defences shaking, doubled with the gentle lilt in his voice. “My perfect flower deserves the world, why can’t I buy her a part of it, hmmm?”

“You just can’t,” but your own voice starts to match his in volume, and he has to stop himself from grinning in premature victory. 

“But I want to,” the softest kiss to your lips before he pulls away. “You deserve more, why won’t you let us spoil you?”

“Tae,” you sigh, eyes starting to water, it was too much, your heart was so full you could feel it in your chest. You couldn’t accept this, he bought you the painting you were staring at for fuck sake, it was beyond ridiculous, he shouldn’t have.

“I am grateful for the sentiment, but you have to return it,” you say as he shakes his head in refusal, “please.”

“No,” he replies simply, you weren’t going to win this one. “I know you love it, and I want you to have it, that’s it.”

You sniffle, tears starting to drop which he wipes away.

“But it's too much,” you wail, making him want to laugh at how precious you look.

“You said that already,” he pulls you into his embrace, your arms uncrossing to wrap around him. 

“B-but youdun e-even k-now why I like it-” he can barely understand with you gasping for breath between words as you sobbed.

He should feel bad for making you cry but you were so adorable he couldn’t help laughing a little. He kisses the side of your head, smiling as you mumble against him, trying to fight but you already lost. 

SATURDAY 

“Why did you bring your laptop on holiday!” Jimin groans as he walks into the bedroom to find you sitting crossed legged on the bed, furiously typing away.

“I just have one more thing to finish…” you mumble without glancing at him.

“Bunny you seriously have issues,” Jungkook mutters, Jimin turning in surprise to see him on the armchair, chin in his hand, elbow on the arm rest, staring at you as if you were some weird enigma.

“We brought you to your favourite place on Earth,” Jimin exclaims dramatically, trying to close the laptop but you take it away from his reach. “And you’re working?”

“Two seconds, just two more.”

Jimin sighs, fingers raking through his hair as he stands with his hands on his hips ready to berate you before he realises someone was missing.

“Where’s Taehyung?”

The maknae shrugs, but this question makes you look up from the screen like a meerkat.

“Huh?” You look at the end of the bed, as if you’re expecting him to be there. “He was just there…”

You shrug to yourself, sure he was somewhere having fun, turning back to the laptop with intent while Jimin looks at you incredulously. Fine he’ll give you your two seconds but he isn’t happy about it. He starts pacing in front of you, arms crossed and huffing, but it does nothing to deter your work or gain him any attention.  

It’s when his legs start aching that he’s decided you’ve had long enough. 

“Angel put it away before I throw it out the window,” he warned, but you completely ignore him as if he didn’t say a word. Is this how flies felt when they buzzed incessantly around the room screaming for attention… did he really compare himself to a fly… he couldn’t help making the comparison, you were the one to make him feel so insignificant and he flew you to Italy for pete's sake. He marches towards you, not really wanting to resort to violence but you weren’t budging.  “Fine, have it your way.”

“You guys took my phone, don’t touch my laptop,” you warn when he takes another step closer.

“You were gonna call them!”

“And you’ve had your fun and gotten your revenge, let me just finish this.”

“You said two seconds, IT'S BEEN TWO HOURS,” he yells, exasperated.

“It’s been twenty minutes,” you scoff as if that was any better.

“Are they working you too hard?” Jungkook interrupts asking you bluntly, having watched your session since near the start, he thinks he's deciphered the reason behind it.

You hesitate, swallowing around nothing. Why did that question make you nervous?

“Nothing I’m not used to,” you reply, it’s not like working with them was any easier.

“So yes they are,” Jimin confirms. “Yesterday you were enjoying this impromptu holiday, today you look like you’re going to fight us if we try and take you outside.”

“We will take you outside eventually, bunny,” Jungkook adds, “kicking and screaming if we have to.”

“What changed angel?” Jimin narrows his eyes.

You try and avoid their gazes, confession on the tip of your tongue at their interrogation but their judgement holds you back, 

“Spill angel,” Jimin stands with his arms crossed, voice firm.

You groan, falling head first into the duvet as if you could bury your response there forever. 

“It’s stupid,” you mumble against the fabric. 

“What did she say?” 

“Fuck knows,” Jungkook frowns.

You sigh, picking yourself up in defeat. 

“I had a nightmare last night,” you mutter, making things no clearer for the two as they look at each other in question. “About work…”

There’s a beat of silence as your confession sinks in.

“Taehyung's right…” Jimin says as if he’s come to an epiphany, “you really are a good girl.”

You feel your cheeks burn, trying not to let your jaw fall slack as the oldest maknae grins, laughing at you softly. 

“It’s not funny,” you say to the pair as the youngest also decides to cackle too. “They found out I skipped work and then started yelling at me and it scared the shit out of me okay.”

But your words only make them laugh harder, Jimin characteristically falling to the floor as he holds his stomach. You roll your eyes, trust them to understand.

“I’m gonna go find Tae,” you mumble, slamming your laptop shut and exiting the room while they try and fail to control themselves.

“Wait, we're coming with you,” Jimin calls after you, still laughing loudly, the corners of his mouth almost touching his ears. 

Maybe they were right, maybe you did need to enjoy yourself while you could, who knew what work had in store for you when you went back. There was nothing you could do about that, but there was something you could do now. 

You find your target looking at the painting he bought from the gallery yesterday, the one you still couldn’t believe was hanging on the wall of your holiday home. If Taehyung didn’t have the money to buy it you’re sure he would’ve stolen it for you instead. For some reason you could picture him being an art thief in another life. 

He was staring so intently, it was as if the roles had reversed from yesterday, his eyes darting around each pigment on the canvas trying to decipher it. The way you had paid it attention almost made him jealous, so of course he had to buy it for you, at least to try and figure out why you loved it at first sight. 

“Hey tiger,” you greet him gleefully, and he’s more than happy to look at you instead. He grins when you wink at him flirtily like Jin does to you from time to time, but you do it more dramatically, eyebrows dancing as you approach him. 

“Tiger?” he chuckles, that one was new from you, but he didn’t mind it even if it was tainted from lovers past. 

You grab his arm with both hands, tugging him gently towards you, a silent plea to follow you, and he would, absolutely anywhere if you asked. The other two aren’t far behind, but your focus is solely on him, and he can’t help but burst with pride, his chest inflating like a superhero film cliche. You looked at him with far more love than that stupid painting, he didn’t feel as much envy towards it as before.

“I wanna take you somewhere special,” you whisper to him, eyes imploring up at him, how could he ever refuse. “It’s my favourite cafe, but don’t tell the others, shh.”

You playfully press your finger to your lips, as if sharing a secret with him. He bites his bottom lip hard to stop from laughing out loud but his boxy grin is stretched wide across his face. 

“What about us?” Jimin whines as you purposefully ignore him, Jungkook’s jaw ticking with jealousy when you pull Taehyung with you. 

“You laughed at me, I’m not taking you anywhere,” you reply childishly, sticking your tongue out at him with your nose in the air as they continue to bicker with you.

This really was your favourite place on Earth.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

[ajaxcentral]

HONEY HEADCANONS

im back from the dead lolol todays my birthday and it hasn't been the best so here's some honey headcanons (mainly just to cheer me up)

mentions of empowered honey :3 also this turned into my rambling about teacher!honey

no beta we die like gabe

they're fully certified, they just choose not to use the certification for any empowered job

always felt disconnected from their powers

THEYRE A TEACHER (they used to teach elementary but moved up to highschool)

defiantly the teacher that non students of theirs find scary/strict but their actual students think they're chill

a pretty strict teacher, they throw a joke here or there but they know when it's time to get work done

so many of their students eat lunch in their room

guy sent them a ridiculous text while they were teaching and they had the most lovesick smile on their face (their students kept pestering them on what or who had them smiling like that)

more under the cut

a group of honey's student ran into guy and honey while they were on a date (the students were so surprised their very serious teacher with such a unserious boyfriend)

all of honey students knew by the next day and they finally caved telling their class about guy

if honey and guy got married honey students totally crashed their wedding (honey is walking down the highway walking down the aisle all teary eye, guy in the same state but giggling slightly. honey looks to see what guy is giggling at and low and behold they see their students sobbing their eyes out)

has a quater collection

the hoodie that guy keeps stealing is a damn hoodie (has a heart attack every time he wears it)

best in their damn class (damn begs them to come back to be a guest speaker)

did the guest speaking thing and met the damn crew (they all came up to honey after words and had so many questions)

keeps in contact with the damn crew (they're the closest with damien)

a few of their friends died during them inversion and guy had come home to see them crying on the kitchen floor

didn't want to tell guy about the empowered just quite yet so they just told him that they died in a serious car accident

[swiftfootedachilles]

Asking again because I'm feeling a bit under the weather so here it is: How do you think Gallavich act whenever Mickey is sick?

Also, sending virtual hug with consent because I just read your recent post. Hope you feel better soon 🫂

hiii finally getting to this ask i hope youre feeling better now!!!

mickey would try to hide being sick and say its not a big deal. of course he ignores it and the sickness keeps festering until hes obviously very ill. ian rolls his eyes because this happens every damn time mickey gets sick. and mickey doesnt need to be sneezing all over their customers! so he has to stay home! mickey reluctantly takes cold medicine (he hates the taste soooo much and he has a couple negative memories attached to the medicine) and ian kisses the top of his head once he shows he swallowed everything even tho he didnt want to :(

ian and iggy (mickey swears hes just a temp he doesnt trust him to handle so much money without stealing a least some of it) are out doing their lil job while mickey stays at home napping, watching instagram reels of car crashes, sending ian random emojis to annoy him, and making ramen noodles using the keurig (he doesnt wanna wait for water to boil like a normal person). chicken ramen noodles. bc theyre the classic flavor and best for when youre feeling sick

ian comes home and does some cleaning while mickey takes his 7th nap for the day, then he wakes mick up to take more medicine. mickey doesnt wannaaaaaa it tastes bad and drinking water right after swallowing still doesnt get rid of the icky mouthfeel :( but he does it anyway and then sits in the living room talk-yelling to ian while he cooks dinner (more ramen but he adds some leftover chicken and frozen vegetables to it for substance.) mickey uses up all the hot water but ian doesnt even complain because the steam is good for opening up the sinuses

they lay in bed together, fingers twirling in damp hair, and mumble to each other about liam staying over next weekend. ian cant help himself and has to give his husband a goodnight kiss or two (or three or four or...) naturally, he wakes up the next morning with a sore throat

[yuukei-yikes]

i hate second manga route for haruka and especially takane's stupid arcs but LIKE I ALWAYS SAY its got so much going for it. ayano and shintaro especially. ayano being the shittiest sister ever and shintaro being Literally the awesomest brother really gets me like its so funny

shintaro being so. Weird/mean in more typical routes because of retaining eyes even if it's repressed/inactive... i know its because kagepro was written in the course Of Years and it's honestly a game of telephone so it's more a matter of lack of consistency rather than this but i like to explain it with that lol

in main route shintaro and momo barely speaking, not being close at all. but in an original way they were THE closest siblings... sniff sniff. like so much was sacrificed in the way to their happy ending, their relationship being one. and for shintaro (with retaining) to eventually remember this but not momo... and how it'd cause a shift in his behavior bc he REMEMBERS all these moments they spent together in some other lifetime and how he felt about it then, and it's simultaneous with how he feels with this lifetime and this specific relationship he's built with his sister. it's a lot!! he doesn't stop being him, but all these other routes are overwritten over one another and how he feels in each one is completely simultaneous with how he feels about the present. augh. this is complicated for all his relationships ofc like (drum rolls) takane because of Many reasons but for example he fucking killt her once and he KNOWS that. but hehe. kisaragi siblings. that was just my obligatory takane mention bc i can't help myself BUT IM TALKING ABT SHINTARO AND MOMO

momo just sees shintaro acting awkward and trying to approach her and she's like 😐weird. ofc she still reciprocates!! like DAMN shintaro wanting to be her brother and get closer to her?? it's one of her biggest wishes come true!!!! but its awkward as fuck!!

shintaro is dealing with MANY things as he goes through life with all these memories + living past the end of the story, and momo is terrified of scaring shintaro away because she doesn't KNOW all he knows and he's shit at trying to communicate and just talk. but maybe their mom can come home and be like oh. u guys are watching tv together?? thats strange. and theyre like oh. yeah i guess <- wrestled for who got the remote, momo obviously won, shintaro complains but still stays to watch whatever the hell obscure tv show momo is into. shintaro keeps criticizing it and momo's like just leave if it bothers u so much and he's like NO. im googling the directors and writers of this as we speak.

also i know ive said this 1000 times but car guy shintaro. this guy gets his license and is everyone's taxi driver. but ESPECIALLY momo. he drives her to school everyday and they scream sing together the entire way. momo makes a car playlist to sing with him but will never admit it's a playlist specifically made with shintaro in mind and how funny she thinks it'll be when call me maybe comes on and shintaro will be like AUGGH THIS SUCKS LOWER THE VOLUME but immediately starts singing too.

AND ALSO he tries teaching her how to drive and she crashes their mom's car and shintaro takes the blame. as punishment he can't use the car for a while. in that while momo still gets her license Somehow even though she is an awful awful driver and now since shintaro isnt allowed to drive for a bit momo is taking him and he's FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE.

anyways kisaragi siblings😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 also ayaki not only watching shintaro managing to get closer to momo in this lifetime too, but also sees ayano be this supposedly perfect big sister.

post str ayano with all this guilt over abandoning her siblings and feeling totally incapable of everything, both academically and emotionally. but ayaki is still a little jealous bc even if she Knows how ayano must feel (despite not even being in her head like with shintaro. she knows bc she IS ayano) kano kido and seto DO see her as a good big sister. i think ayaki harbors certain "hatred" for the surviving ayano because she. hates herself. and this ayano has everything ayaki fought for and is still just as incapable and it pisses her off. i think both ayanos feel horrible specifically about kano's involvement in everything and what he had to deal with when ayano died. ayaki thinks god. i/she still failed for protect him. this SUCKS. she knows ayano hates herself bc she hates her and she is her💥

....and also in case of shinaya ayakis like THIS IS RIDICULOUSSS!! HIM OF ALL PEOPLE?!?!?! COME ONNNN. erm anyways💥

[constellama]

Noah is dead, clearly nothing can get worse than this (final raven boys live-blog post :D)

Llama reads TRC: Chapters 31-48 of The Raven Boys

Chapter 31

Ronan is grieving for Noah :(

DECLAN?

Ronan bestie please don’t be drinking all alone in your room <3

He’s getting kicked out D:

“Then you’ve killed him” ok ik Ronan’s home life is kinda awful but why is everyone so sure he’s gonna die? I feel like I’m missing something here

Gansey !!

Why do they have so many cars what

Gansey using his rich people superpowers to keep Ronan in school

OHHH SLEEPWALKING.

Ok either it was MENTIONED before that Ronan sleepwalks and I completely missed it or I’m just dumb

Is that why they keep thinking he’s gonna die

Gansey shoving his credit cards everywhere is so real though

Gansey stop taking so much responsibility for your friends challenge !! Impossible apparently!! This boy is so sad pls Gansey not everything is up to you stop carrying the weight of the world you’re literally a teenager

Chapter 32

“And Noah’s dead. But Parrish is here.” Waiting for the day that they eventually get used to Noah being dead and start joking about it

Every time Adam mentions his home life I want to grab him and run very very far away

Uh oh

Don’t kiss pls that would not end well I think

“She felt like she’d done so much work to appear as eccentric as possible and still, when it came down to it, she was sensible.” I’m not good at words but this sentence. Oh this sentence. It makes me sad in a way I can’t describe.

CHAINSAW!!

Ronan and Chainsaw are the best duo actually

Ronan looks so happy when holding Chainsaw :(

Wait, ok. I’ve heard about Ronan being able to dream things into existence (it’s one of the things I got spoiled on) so I’m wondering, did he get Chainsaw from his dreams?

NOAH

NOAH MY BOY

“I was…more…when I was alive.” WHAT IF I CRIED

“You’re enough now. I missed you.” THEYRE BEST FRIENDS ACTUALLY IDC IDC

Whatever you do don’t imagine Noah braiding Blue’s hair <- sobbing

“And he’s about to be a were, too” DAMN??

“Noah, please don’t die for real” ouch ok I’m completely normal about this actually mhm

I WAS RIGHT!! HES CONNECTED TO GANSEY’S INCIDENT WITH HORNETS

THE DUDE WHO SACRIFICED HIM WAS WHELK WASNT IT

Noah is so sad I’m gonna cry

“But you already know.” OH???

Chapter 33 (TW: Gun)

Gansey bestie pls don’t crash your car

Aaaand the Camaro’s stopped

This is like the worst possible timing

WHELK??

NO NONOO

RUN GANSEY

I’m cryign imagine your car breaking down in the middle nowhere and suddenly your teacher appears and mugs you

THE JOURNAL

Gansey pls you have a gun to your head

YEAHHH PUNCH HIM

Whelk just. Just left? Bro just tried to mug a student 😭??

GO HOME GANSEY PLS BE SAFE

Chapter 34

Omg time to go through Neeve’s things

I love Persephone she’s just an anomaly

Butternut?? 😨

Someone called Neeve to find the ley line,,,it was Whelk wasn’t it,,,

UH OH THEYRE BACK

Chapter 35

Adam making tea :D

Ok so now everything’s in order, things are starting to come together. This can only end in two ways

Oh? The ley line will be woken up soon

DO NOT CALL THE POLICE

Big things are happening and I am NOT scared (lie)

Chapter 36 (TW: Abuse for this chapter, stay safe)

Adam not wanting to leave the car :( Don’t go in Adam just leave pls

“Loser” You’re so right, Ronan

Oh God Adam’s dad is awful

NOO ADAM

ADAM??

RONAN

GET HIM RONAN

What did he do to his ear oh my god

Adam pls

“Can I…can I press charges?” YESSS ADAM MY BOY

Chapter 37

Ew whelk chapter

Ok either Neeve is actually gonna help him or she’s planning to trick him

I’m hoping on the latter

Chapter 38

Adam’s ok :D

His ear is screwed up though :(

“You win,” Adam pls it’s not like that :(

These boys are so sad

I get why Adam wants to do something on his own terms but he also doesn’t have to endure all this abuse because of it :(((

WHAT THE HELL GANSEY

BRO???

GANSEY

Gansey you could have said *literally* anything else

Adam :((((

Screw Adam’s mother too she sucks !!!

Chapter 39

NOAHHH

Adam didn’t want Blue to know about his family life I FEEL ILL

Call from Malory!

“Jane” PFFFFT

I’m sorry what

HIS SKIN FELL OFF? What in the magnus archives—

“My words are unerring tools of destruction, and I’ve come unequipped with the ability to disarm them.” 😭??

“What a fine contribution to the world I am.” Gansey :(

Yes Blue you should spit in Gansey’s eye, it would be funny

Adam pls you could get hurt

Guys pls

Chapter 40

Ok yeah Neeve was definitely lying

Oh. She kidnapped him. Kinda slay of her tbh

“Also, Neeve hadn’t tied tightly enough.” Uh oh 😀

Chapter 41 (TW: Gun)

“Your hair is the color of dirt,” “It knows where it came from” IM SHAKING YOU ADAM !!! STOP HATING YOURSELF !!!

Do NOT kiss PLEASE

“Keep being brave.” they are so special

“There was blood everywhere” haha what.

Oh my god his dad had a GUN??

Thinking about Adam makes me sad

He needs a hug

Adam.

ADAM NO

Oh my god Adam what are you about to do

Chapter 42

GANSEY WAKE UP

HES GONNA WAKE UP THE LEY LINE ALL BY HIMSELF??

Chapter 43

“Are you sleeping?” “Yes,” just like me fr

Santa Claus metaphor,,, I love these two they’re the best mother daughter duo

His name was Artemus?? Kinda sounds like Artemis,,,

“Drugs might be better” lmao

The Raven boys are here!! Go save Adam!!

And get Neeve too, from whatever she’s off doing

Chapter 44

Adam !!!

All the descriptions of Cabeswater are so pretty ough

UH

ADAM NO

YEAHHH NEEVE KILL HIM!! KILL WHELK !!

Oop, back to Blue’s pov

“MURDERED” Noah :(

“REMEMBERED” WHAT IF I SOBBED !! WHAT IF I BROKE DOWN AND CRIED !!

Chapter 45

Whelk is so annoying I need him gone

Oh my god

The ritual doesn’t work if it’s just murder??? So it just wouldn’t work at all if Whelk did it :0

What’s up with Neeve’s eyes bro

WHAT

WHERE’D NEEVE GO

UH OH

ADAM GET OUT OF THE PENTAGRAM

“I sacrifice myself.” ADAM NO

HEY??? WHAT

Chapter 46

“Was I so awful?” NOO GANSEY IT WASNT YOUR FAULT :(

White horned beasts 😭?? Literally what is happening

Are they unicorns though this is important 👀

Oop they’re in the vision tree

WHAT

Chapter 47

Gansey actually saw the same vision this time omg

Personally I think that it’s a good thing that Whelk is dead. That’s just me though personally I think it’s incredibly beneficial actually

THE TREES

GLENDOWER??

Chapter 48

Is this an epilogue??

It seems like it

Ok so Neeve just straight up despawned bc of the mirrors

Noah :( he probably misses his family so badly :(((

“He’s sorry for drinking your birthday schnapps” what if I cried

OH THEY DUG HIM UP

NOAHHH MY BOY HES BACK

Ronan?

“I guess now would be a good time to tell you, I took Chainsaw out of my dreams.” I WAS RIGHT!!!

BUT WHY ARE YOU ONLY MENTIONING THIS NOW

Good God. I have so many thoughts. This book was so fun to read I can’t wait for the next ones :D !! I’m gonna take a bit of a break before I read the next one though. Just a heads up, I probably won’t live-blog the next books like I did with this one, but I will post my thoughts occasionally (just not as much). Anyways, Live Laugh Love Noah Czerny🙏

[voidselfshipp]

Avatars and Rocky starts

Cw: Mentions of almost drowning, forced marriages, violence.

Summary:jon meets Jerico's avatars, whom he didnt even know they existed.

->Only mutuals allowed to reblog,

Its not always that Jon gets a break, but after his whole trip across America, hes jetlagged to shit. Which leads him to his current situation.

Hes getting ready to go out, he ties up his coat and fixes up his hair a little. --Im ready to go!--He calls out towards Jers room.

Jerico comes out looking as stunning as ever, she smiles and gestures towards the door-- Shall we?

Jon,though a little flustered, nodds and walks down the corridor to the bookshop with his girlfriend in toe. As they step out, they see the overcast Sky above,grey and rainy.

--It never lets up,does it?--He mutters a little annoyed, stepping into the passenger Seat of the car. An old vintage Mustang in a dark Teal color.

--nope--jer answered,settling down on the drivers Seat-- I Like it though

--Well youre associated with storms, no surprise there--He replied, putting on the seatbelt-- so,run me by the plan again?

--Im going to visit a few people, then we can go Grab lunch-- she answered-- do you need any more details?

Jon thinks for a moment, she knows his need to be in controll of everything, its what makes him feel safe.

--My avatars--She replied gently.

--YOUR WHAT? YOU HAVE- how do you have avatars?!--He exclaimed as she turned on the car.

--Ill tell you everything,settle down Jon--jer said Gently, stroking his knee soothingly before pulling out into the street and Driving down it.

Noticing his freak out, he clears his throat and takes a deep breath-- sorry its just- ive seen what avatars can become- it doesnt...it doesnt work how it works for others?

He sees her shake her head, understanding of his concern-- I have few avatars,and well- I try to make sure not to hurt them, theyre not human but...theyre not Michael level of not human

--So..theyre not insane?

--Theyre not, quite sane actually-- she replied, eyes not looking away from the street, a little empty.

--So...what are your avatars like? Like- they dont go insane or anything,How do they work? -- he asked,aware of how differently Antiquarian operated from the other beings.

--Theyre like...normal people. They get things for me you know? One of them gets me antiques,others get me books or transporation. But I take good care of them, I Keep them well--jerico explained, stopping ar the stop light and stretching a little.

--Im not used to that...--Jonathan confessed--How you take care of them, you actually care. Theyre not tools,theyre not playthings,theyre people you care about

She smiles and turns to him,leaning in to kiss him Gently and briefly. He barely has time to kiss back before she pulls away-- just like I care about you-- she pauses for a moment-- well,youre special,you get privileges

The archivist looks away,skin darkening a little-- oh uhm...I uh..--He looks away scratching his bicep.

Jer giggles and pats his thigh, to then Keep driving-- but yeah, I treat my avatars almost like...my children yknow? I Keep well,I Keep them healthy and safe, if they need my help I help. That sort of stuff

A thought comes into his mind but he doesnt say it, he doesnt know if its appropiate to say-- you surprise me more with each day-- he says instead,hand going to rest on her thigh.

She smiles and turns a corner--Cmon,youl distract me and we'll crash

--Ah thats not a me issue,love -- he answers smugly with a grin.

--Damn you archivist, you and your charming allure-- she replied slowing down to take the hand on her thigh and kiss his knuckles.

--Guilty as charged,im afraid-- He pulls away all flustered, and he sees her reach for the radio to turn it on.

The car drive is somewhat calm with sparse conversation and jerico vibing to the music on the radio. Jon,being the lovesick puppy he is,watches With loving abandon at how his girlfriend moves and sings along. Shes bright as the sun in those moments.

After a while,they reach their destination. The car gets Parked, and both step out. Jon looks upon one of the buildings, a small rustic café, nothing big or particularly eye catching, just cozy. Above it an old sign read "Seafoam Cafe"

--Who are we here for?-- Jon asked, opening the door at letting her go through first.

--Azariel, she procures hard to get books for me--jer explained, stepping in and walking alongside him to a booth.

--Like leitner's books?--He asked a little concerned.

--Nono,dear god NO--She exhaled with exhasperation at the mere thought of it. She sits at a booth and gestures him to sit by her side. --Those are off limits,im talking like... books with limited copies or those who are heavily censored by one entity or another

--Oh gotcha--He answered,taking off his coat-- and what book are we here for?

Jer smirked-- Oh youll see-- along comes a waitress to take their order, after both order some light breakfast, she adds-- oh by the way,can you call up the owner? Tell her Lady Racounteur is calling her

The waitress nodds and leaves,Jon smirks--Lady?

--Azariel insists on calling me that, ive tried to make it stop but.. shes stubborn--She shrugged it off,before taking off her jacket and feeling Jon help her out--Oh,thanks

Feeling a little mushy,he kisses her lips briefly and sheepishly says--its...its nothing

--Youre so sweet

--Cease

--I mean it!

--Well hello Lady Raconteur--A third voice says beside them, both turn to see a black girl with a slight hispanic accent, her hair is a bright white and tied off into space Buns,she wears a small lacey bolero and a black dress with tights and short boots.

--Azariel!--chirped jerico with a big smile-- good morning

The girl sits infront of them all happy and bubbly-- good morning, im guessing youre here to pick up that gift?

She nodds while Jon ignores the conversation,his eyes settle on the choker around Azariel's neck. Its that same symbol as the one hes got in his own necklace. A one eyed octopus in a stormy sea. The gold its made of looks pretty New, a little polished.

--Thats her insignia right? --He blurts out in a moment of recognition--Antiquarian's I mean i- I have the same one--He lifts up his own necklace to show It off.

Azariel grins with a child like happiness--Oh yes it is! Who might you be?--She turns to jerico-- is he another avatar?

--Oh nono,he is my boyfriend--Jer explained with a beaming pride in her voice. Jonathan goes a few shades Darker and he looks away.

--Oh pleased to meet you then!--The youngest avatar chirped-- lovely choice!

--Thank you--Antiquarian replied all sweetly,Jon sulks as he feels pretty flustered. The two ladies catch up, Like theyve been old Friends forever.

When their food arrives,Jon manages to calm down and ask-- s-so,how did you became an avatar?

Azariel's smile faltered a little and cleared her throat-- ah well, y'see, before my Lady over here came into my life,I was in deep debt to some people. Anything to fund this little place of my dreams

She stirrs her tea lazily in deep thought. Her eyes lost in the swirling liquid in the cup--Lady Raconteur here was a regular for the coffee part of the shop, one time she came late at night, and I was...cornered by these people...she uh... took care of them and my debt

--I was going to let her to free of charge but...--Jer trails off,taking a sip from her hot chocolate.

--I knew that what I saw,That Giant wave of well...you know--She follows up,though Jon doesnr know what she means-- was real,That she wasnt human,but she was such a sweet patron that I...invited her inside,asked her what she was and well...I accepted being an avatar, I mean she saved my life

Jer shrugs it off-- I did It out of good Will...but she wouldnt hear it, in the end she insisted so much that even after I explaimed everything she just...accepted

The archivist finds it endaring-- oh so youre telling me you defeated an eldritch being with the mere Power of human insistence?

She rolled her eyes at her boyfriends antics--Okay Simms, get it out of your system cmon

--Nonono,im gonna savor this-- He says,leaning in with a smirk-- Ive seen you take hordes of things down and what does you in is just...one human

Jerico sighs and takes a sip from her tea,Azariel giggles with mirthful joy and adds--You two are so entretaining to watch

--Im afraid we wont be here for an all day performance, still gotta visit the others-- Antiquarian replied,trying to put a stop to her boyfriends lighthearted mockery.

--Though im sure youll convince her to stay if you insist enough--he adds as a final comment, ignoring the glare from his girlfriend while he finishes his drink.

--But yes, she saved me,im here- it mustve been five years now--Azariel said to defuse the tension-- thats why this thing--she points at the disk with the insignia-- is not that old looking

Jon nodded in understandment-- mines...quite old actually

The avatar looks at the necklace,squinting a little. Theres barely any shine to the pendant, if gold could be corroded,it wouldve been nonexistent by now--jer never told me how old this pendant is -- he turns to his lover and asks-- how old is it?

He sees her start to count on her fingers in that dead language she uses sometimes, it sounds like the lulling crashing waves and a deep deep reverberating growling harmonies of the deep.

--Is she counting...?--He asks as his eyes widen.

--In centuries? Yes-- Azariel andswered non-chalantly.

--She just keeps going...

--III think it was originally made in the neolithic era--Jer finally answers-- first of their kind

Jon just stops, looks at jerico with wide eyes as his mind struggles to understand just how old the thing around his neck is--Are you mental?! This should be in a museum!

Antiquarian just shrugs-- You deserve it, anyway, im done. Azariel?

Azariel nodds and gestures them to follow her, they go to the storage room of the place, small and a little cramped, filled with boxes that contain books and supplies for the coffee shop.

She pushes a seeminglh normal wall and gestures them In-- welcome to my humble Office

It was rather small YES,possibly underground,but its cozy and quite comfortable. Cream walls, one half circle Window to let the sunlight in and a few shelves and boxes with a few hanging plants that looked a little too alive.

The avatar goes to Grab one specific book, not too big or too small. Its like an old leatherbound Journal that looks like it has seen better days-- so my Lady here has been looking for this thing, its really old.

Jer smiles and signals Jon to Grab It, she has a big big grin on her face filled with warm and excitement-- what is it?-- he asked, a little confused.

--Read it-- his girlfriend says.

So he does, the first few pages are unassuming until he spots the notes that have to do with the fourteen fears. More and more knowledge he starts to notice, then he stops and looks at Jeri-- oh my...god. -- he breathes out-- I...this is so helpful

--I had to make up for my lackluster insight on it all. Technically I just...helped. yknow? The information is yours to decode

Jon chuckles and hugs his girlfriend tight,--Im sure elias Will be happy to see it-- he said with obvious sarcasm.

--He'll be screaming with joy im sure-- she followed up squeezing him.

--Thank you love-- he murmurs,kissing her briefly.

--Dont mention it-- jer answers nuzzling the side of his face-- And thank you, Azariel

The avatar smiles wide--Anything for you,my Lady

Antiquarian looks at the time on her phone-- we Better get going, im hoping to get to Rudy's by the end of the morning

--Yes,of course. Do send my regards to him and Yuzuki--Azariel said,guiding them back out-- and Tell our lovely fisherman to be nice

--He needs the reminder?--Jon asked and the avatar scoffed,not answering the question.

Soon theyre back on the road towards their Next stop, the antique store. The drive is mostly silent with the radio playing barely audibly--

--what did Azariel meant with telling the fisherman to be nice?

--Ah, well Rudy's a bit of a....special case. Hes got a sense of humor thats very acid and comes across as really mean-- she answered-- hes a good Man, jusr rough around the edges

He blinks a few times-- I was hoping the other two were as nice as Azariel was...

She scoffs lightheartedly-- theyre not...That sweet but theyre good of heart,you know?

--I trust your judgement--He answered,looking out the Window.

Once at the antique shop, it was mid morning. Still that same rainy street, overcast Sky with that awful grey, and a wind thats starting to pick up as if to usher a storm. Jons about to ask if jer is the reason for the increased wind but he keeps it to himself.

Above the store,a pretty sizeable one, is a sign that reads "mother of pearl Antique shop" with the same thing written in japanese. The sign has that 1920s art deco and it looks old but well kept.

The store has that english look to it and its all in those brown,beige,cream colorations. As they enter through the white Doors, a small bell rings above, theres a few people here and there, Theres soft jazz music playing.

--wonder where she is now--Jeri mutters,Jon looks at her weird-- usually she has other employers cover the work here,but she did tell me she'd be here today

--Well, we can go look--He says,taking her hand a little shy.

--Yeah, cmon-- they walk around the place in comfortable silence for a little bit. They look at the Many oddities stored around, the halls they walk by arent crammed but theres certainly a lot going on.

--Soo..how did yuzuki find her way into being your avatar?--He asked, walking closer to her.

--Its kind of a dark story-- She explains,looking at some of the old portraits thar looked a little too haunted. She swears the eyes follow her as she moves

--eh, ive heard worse

Jer nodds and says--Well,Yuzuki was being taken from japan,her home,to the UK. She didnt want to go and her father forced her. To Marry her off rich or something. Every day and night she prayed to anything that would listen to sink that boat into the depths of the Atlantic.

--Then?

--Well, I answered. I sunk that ship so far into the Ocean. Yuzuki washed up on the shore and thanked the sea- me for it.  She started leaving me offerings and one morning I appeared by her side, she thanked me with a tight hug and well...she Wanted to serve me.

--Im guessing you explained her what an avatar was?-- he asked,stopping look at the old books.

--No,at firsr she just got me relics,antiques I needed. She had a way of talking herself in and out of situations. The years passed and Yuzuki told me she wanted to spend her life with me, i had been so good too her so far...--She explained,looking at him briefly to see his handsome face-- I had given her a home, a place to work...

--Basically a New life--He answered, pulling a book out of the Shelf.

--Yeah, and Well, I relented. I told her of the dangers but she said her New life had to have me in it. So I agreed. I named her The Collector, for obvious reasons

--You...named them?--He asked,putting the book in his bag.

--Youre literally titled "The Archivist",let me have fun,simms

--okay, okay. Sorry,please continue

--Azariel is The Scholar,Yuzuki is The Collector--she makes a pause to see a small miniature boat in a bottle and take it-- and Rudolph is The Scourge Of The Deep

--We were going pretty normal until we reached Rudolph-- he half joked, standing infront of a nice ornate fullbody mirror-- oh hey, Thats a nice mirror

--Yes it is--Jer agreed-- we should take it home...

--Im afraid thats not a good idea,my Lady-- Another voice comes from behind them. Jonathan turns to see a tall,elegant woman wearing a chestnut brown coat with fur across two large panels on the neck and at the end of the jackets wrist.

The best way he could describe her was as if she was stuck in the 1920s, that same make up, that wavy short hair and dark Teal flapper dress.

--its very much haunted--The avatar continued,taking a drag from a ciggarette using a long black Holder.

--Yuzuki,there you are-- jerico said warmly with a big smile-- how are you?--She walks up to her to give her one kiss on each cheek and then bowing at eachother

--Im quite alright, slow day-- yuzuki answered,eyes setting on jon--Who might he be?

--I am her boyfriend-- Jon answwes-- Jonathan simms,Head archivist of the magnus Institute

The japanese woman looks at him for a moment-- the eye has claimed you,this is most odd my Lady. Havent see two entities dating ever since...Michael

Jerico visibly flinches and shakes It off-- do you mind uh. Showing me what you got for me?

--Yes,apologies-- the avatar answered,waving one of her workers over-- show Lady Racounteur item 1414. Please

The worker nodded and took jerico away, Jon is about to follow when hes stopped by the owner of the place.

--aht archivist. Its not safe for you to see it, its unstable and Jerico is going to fix that right now. I do not want you going mad -- Yuzuki said, watching the Man step back a little annoyed.

--Fine, ill wait.

Theres a brief silence, broken by Yuzuki-- you fit well for the role The Eye has given you, I do hope theres no ulterior motive to your interest in my Lady

He growls under his breath-- Im not out to get her,I could never do it. Trust me,if I could change patrons I would.--She smirks a little at that last part--what?

--Ah nothing-- she answered,giggling to herself.

--What is it?--he asks again

--You wont take it well

--Try me

She sighs and takes another drag-- Well,you dont have the characteristics of someone whose an avatar for The Antiquarian.  Youre too paranoid, read too much into it, to enjoy stories, the calm of the Ocean,you cant be paranoid over if the pages Will cut you or if the sea Will swallow you. Theres a certain whimsy to it that cant be enjoyed if youre running yourself into the ground with paranoia

Jon blinks at her slowly, he cant even be mad because shes right-- I am her boyfriend, that ought to count for something... right?

Yuzuki shrugged with a conciliatory smile-- perhaps,truth is I do not know much about how all this works. Maybe you'd do a great avatar for her and im wrong.

Feeling a little vindicated, he puts his had in his pockets and smiles. --Perhaps-- He answered with pride in his voice.-- I think i'd make a great avatar for her-- he added,not Like he'd say it to jericos face

In all his little pride induced bliss he doesnt hear the avatar's Scoff that has the same energy as an adult playing along to a childs nonsensical tirade.

Jerico comes back a few minutes afterwards with a box that heavily carved along with runes and passages in what seems to be a dead language. A magical Nuke is in there.

--What do you have there?--Jon asked,pointing at the box,both worried and curious.

She shrugged--Contingency plans

--Care to explain?

--Nope

He sighs and nodds--Fair

Jerico laughed and with a wave of her hand, the box gets consumed by a roaring wave. Then it subsides and the box is gone.

--Ah Yuzuki, one more question--Antiquarian adds, pulling the avatar to the side,away from Jon--Jon here is looking for some sort of..gorila skin? Magic in nature,has to do with the unkowing,can you check?

--Yes,of course my lady--She answered-- y'know--she added with a conspiratory look in her eyes-- Jon said he'd make a great avatar for you if he could

Jer's heart warms up, she coos and puts a hand on her chest--man, thats so cute.

--Y'know, if uh...our watcher ever falls, maybe he could make an avatar...I personaly dont Belive it. Hes uh- theres something missing. No offense

The Antiquarian snorts-- None taken,hes good at what he does, the sea isnt really his calling

Yuzuki only chuckled,keeping her thoughts to herself before both walk back to the archivist. Jon insists on paying for the book and the little ship in a bottle jer got,but the avatar insists that its a gift.

--Im guessing youre going to see Rudolph yes?--She added as her patron and the Man stood there on the sidewalk.--

--Yes

--Tell him to watch his mouth

Jer can only snort-- I can certainly tell him,not that it would make him change behavior-- the antique shop owner nodded in understanding-- Goodbye, Yuzuki

--Goodbye,my Lady

As they drive away from the store, Jon looks out the Window with a few things on his mind. Thoughts that he knows he shouldnt share, because theres always some grey to everything.

--Yknow,its been two times that two of your avatars said that this Rudolph should watch his mouth--He states,trying to push away his thoughts-- what are they so worried about?

He sees her hesitate as she makes a turn to the left,the wheel turning to its respective side-- Rudolph has a certain way to react to people, especially those close to me

--jealousy?--he asked.

She shook her head-- protective

--Well...that I can respect--Jer purses her lips ,as if she knows something he doesnt-- can I ask how he became an avatar?

The streets and buildings were a blur as she drives down the streets,still somewhat rainy and grey. Theres a sudden shift on the air as they go a bridge overlooking one of the branches of the River thames, Jon sees shorter builders and cobblestone paths thick with sand between the cracks they form.

At this point he doesnt even ask.

--Well,he was a fisherman back in the 1800s. He was working extra time to pay for his two daughters' medicine, he went to fish on a really bad day once--She explains-- a big storm reached the place he was fishing at, it rocked his humble fishing vessel and he almost drowns...

--Jesus christ--He breathed out.

--I was around the area, it didnt take me long to find his struggling form. I scooped Him in my arms and dragged him to the shore, I pulled what water I could from his lungs...he was fine afterwards-- she followed up.

Jonathan looked at the little village they were Driving down, nobody seemed to even look at the Mustang-- and then? -- he asked.

--He knew that whatever I was, wasnt human. He explained his situation, why he was doing what he was doing, all while laying there on the sand-- jerico answered, recalling the memory almost fondly-- he invited me to his house for dinner,to thank me.

--If he had a wife I hope she didnt take it the wrong way. Her Man Bringing home a beautiful woman? Recipe for disaster--He half joke,unaware of the little flirty undertone to his voice.

She chuckles a little flustered--No, he explained the situation to her right away, and I think the wife could sense it too. That im not human I mean. But regardless, I loved the food, I loved his daughters that were having a heavy flu, and I decided to help them out

He smiles--good to know you never changed

--what can I say,im that good--jeri half joked-- I helped him get a New boat, get the medicine for his girls. Hell, I helped them get the kids to a good school, a good college and a good marriage.

--How much of that was...--He was reluctant to say the Word-- Magic?

--most of the money was magical, the marriage part was more of my well- aptitude to detect bad people--She answered.

--Your little escapades with Elias would beg to differ -- Jonathan said with a shit eating grin,still looking out the Window while the glass fogs with his breath.

--I said im good at detecting them, whatever I decide to do with that is something different-- She answered, holding back a few giggles.

--but im guessing Rudolph was very eager to return the favor-- He added.

--Yeah, even his wife was on board--She confirmed, scratching the back of her neck-- I of course was on the fence, they didnt want to adore me as a goddess, I had mentioned the thing about the avatars and they got the idea in their head. --Jerico finally parks outside one of the larger,mostly empty docks-- I told them that I had never had any avatars, That I wasnt sure what toll it would take on them

--But im guessing that they didnt care

--Rudolph,always the sweetheart, offered himself as an avatar-- she leans on the back rest, arms folded over her chest.

Jon unbuckles the seatbelt and shamelessly sits on her lap, resting on her chest. He didnt want to go out into the cold yet.

His action is such a routinely thing for her that it doesnt even phase her-- I wasnt sure at first but,as you can guess, he didnt want to hear any of it. I accepted, I could use the company anyway since onyx wasnt around at the time

With her arms around his waist, she nuzzles his face and Snickers a little as he returns the gesture-- He was the first avatar I ever took like,ever in my life. I wasnt sure how it all worked,what rules I needed to follow--She explained-- and at the time I didnt have any issue with the eye, so I asked it...

--Well shite--Jon scoffs--You? Asking for help to the eye?

She rolls her eyes and says-- again, I didnt hate it yet. Anyway,it told me that I made the rules, that my avatars could feed me if I wanted to,it wasnt too sure on if their sanity would be affected-- shrugging,she adds--not that it would not admit that it didnt know something. We guessed that it wouldnt happen,since im more of a force of nature,something they can sort of understand, so...

--Hmm,thats good--He answered-- then?

--Well, with my first ever avatar, I wasnt too sure on what to do with my life other than Keep Rudolph and his family company--She replied-- eventually his kids grew old,so did his wife...peaceful deaths all of them thankfully. Of course,its not something easy but if you ask him,rudolph wouldnt change a thing. So I guess he did his peace with it

There was something oddly powerful in that, making his peace with grief and loss,and not regretting such a big choice.

Jerico pressed a soft kiss to jon's jaw, adding-- we should get going

--Cmon,five minutes--He answered,cuddling closer.

--Fine,five minutes

《Come into the water

Do you wanna be my baby?

Are you waiting to touch me?

You look so good, but I keep my hands

'Til you come into the water》

The radio plays Gently,on low volume as to not distract their conversation. He sighs in comfort as he shuffles into a comfortable position, taking off his glasses and letting them hang against his chest.

Jer Strokes his forearm with her thumb,eyes closed and head resting ontop of his.

《Maybe I'm the same as all those men

Writing songs of all they're dreaming

But would you tell me if you want me?

'Cause I can't move until you show me》

The archivist hand goes to her face, tracing her jaw with his fingers. He tries to see his face but not with his eyes,but with his hand, brushing over her cheekbone and bridge of her nose, down to her Lower lip.

He can feel her giggle,all afluster,the sound gets stuck in her throat. She laughs to play off her feelings but he already knows,and no Powers needed, he simply knew his girlfriend

She leans into his touch, his hands feel the stay hairs to the side of her face and he pulls them back over the Shell of her ear, soft butterfly touches. Then he opens his eyes a little just to guide her head a bit to the side with the tip of his fingers that press against the curve of her jaw.

Jonathan kisses her, briefly,short. Still loving and warm,doing whatever his heart tells him to. Finally, a proper break.

《I didn't know I had a dream

I didn't know until I saw you

So would you tell me if you want me?

'Cause I can't move until you show me》

When he pulls away,she instantly kisses him again,holding Him close.

By the end of the kiss her forehead presses against his as he lets out a shaky breath,feeling safe for once in the years that hes been hunted by paranormal things.

It almost makes him crumble,he channels that shaking feeling into melting against her,he doesnt say anything but he doesnt need to.

She squeezes him a little,like a plushy. Jerico kisses the bridge of his nose and smiles.

Five minutes go by,and they get out of the car. The world outside is still that damp,rainy cold,still grey skies and  a misty dock that makes it feel almost like a hazy dream.

Jon is still drunk with the very sweet moment he just lived,so hes quiet as he walks alongside jerico, holding her hand.

Theres a few lanterns hanging on posts,light defused with the mist,making them look ethereal as the boats tied to the dock move back and forth with the waves.

Its oddly cozy,seagulls squak and a few bells ring. The air smells of salt, fresh and utterly freezing,but nice.His exhales get mixed with the mist, vapor getting lost in the blanket of condensation.

They reach the end of the pier where a Man is tying off a boat. This Man is huge, about 6'2, very well built.

Black hair tied up in a half bun, curls tight with humidity, he wears a simple white button up with his sleeves rolled up and the first few buttons undone,worn looking jeans and heavy rainboots.

His hickory Brown skin doesnt even seem to form goosebumps, utterly unpjased by the cold.

--Rudolph--Jerico calls out.

The Giant hunk of a Man turns and from a scarily serious face, he softens his empression-- ah,my Lady,good morning

She smiled, happy to see him--Good morning

His eyes fall to Jon and he just utters a mildly dissappointed and somewhat annoyedxhis shoulders drop and his eyes go half lidded,clearly holding back a scowl--...oh

--oh?--Jon parroted,a little confused and feeling a little insulted-- what does that mean?

--Jon,drop it-- She warns,voice stern and clearly not up to dealing with whatever shitshow was going to go down.

--Nono,what does he mean by "oh"?-- he insisted,turning to Rudolph.

--Youre supposed to be the Smart one,if she tells you to stop,then stop-- the other Man answered,brow quirked upwards and folding his arms over his chest. Almost defiantly.

--And im asking you a question,what do you mean by "oh"?!-- Jon asked again,jerico notices the whisps of green coming from his eyes that seem to glow brighter with the mist.

She flinches and purses her lips,mistakes where made.

Rudolph could shrug off the Effect of the compelling If he wanted. But he doesnt-- im just dissapointed

--Dissapointed?!--Jonathan echoed,voice cracking as he feels very offended.

--Out all of the people she could get, she chose you as her consort. You look like a wet cat, no offense

The archivist through gritted teeth turns to jerico-- say something! Hes being disrespectfull

She looks at him and says--I told you to drop it, youre a whole ass Man, figure it out. -- with her best resting bitch face.

Rudolph just smirks and turns to the woman--Anyway my Lady,the thing you asked for is in my captains cabin

--Thank you--She replied,-- ill go get it, you please do make sure nothing happens to Jon-- she kisses her boyfriends cheek and lets go of his hand,walking onto the ship.

--i can take care of myself!--Jon protested

--Do you want me to remind you all the times you got kidnapped?--She asked whilist still walking to the cabin.

He kept quiet and soon shes gone, rudolph sits on the short wooden pillar he tied one of the ropes around. Out of seemingly nowhere, he pulls out a fish gutting knife,twirling it around his finger a few times before checking the sharpness of the blade.

Jonathan heard the other Man curse in that ancient language jerico spoke, and from his pocket he pulls out what looks like a literal stone,but the surface is slick and looks quite sharp. And so he starts to sharpen the Knife silently.

--How do you know that language?--The archivist asked,unsure on what to do with his hands since he cant hold jericos.

--Im her avatar,of course I know it--He answered,not bothered to look up and meet his gaze. -- Jesus, you work with the Institute, you should know that

--Well excuse me if i do not like the idea to read all about my literal partner. Thats creepy-- he replied, folding his arms.

--Thats just basic knowledge,bruv-- he replied,voice thick with his english accent,not posh,a mix of all the accents in the uk--hell youre an avatar

--Im quite New to this whole avatar thing!--The archivist protested-- and im not being handed a manual for this

Rudolph looks up from his Knife to him,with what seems to be pity,but as soon as he makes eye contact he loos back to his hands-- I dont s'ppose other avatars help you out much

--The only one that does always gives me the smallest of hints. Not all of us are blessed with such a good patron,youre lucky

Finally he can say it out loud, he wished he could have a patron that didnt leech off of him,that it didnt feel like he owed it its life. That hes not under its control.

Jericos avatars got a loving,sweet patron that asks for nothing in return. They had true loyalty and camraderie, not whatever the hell he had.

Rudolphs keeps quiet for a moment,understanding his Point-- yer blessed too, in some ways- you dont know your patron,you do not care for It. If something happens to it, all the better for you. We dont get that luxury

--Yeah but you dont have to feed It or you die. Its different. -- Jon answered with scorn.

--touche. But you dont suffer with it when it feels sad,or alone, and you do not agonize knowing that there are things you simply cannot help it with even if shes suffering.

Jonathan rolled his eyes--youre talking about a friendshipp rather than a pact you made, you got to chose It ,*i* didnt. So excuse me if I dont feel lucky

Rudolph puts away the stone and grips the Knife and the archivist feels like hes about to get gutted--fair enough

--Also what is your damn problem with me?

The avatar looks the Man up and down-- its not personal

His companion scoffed-- bollocks

--Think what you want, im trying to weed you out--He answered,gaze unbothered as he twirls the Knife.

--I dont mean jerico any harm

--All of them say it, sorry if I dont Belive it-- he replied,clearly not sorry-- after everything with Michael id rather not have her be with men that end up in a tragedy

--Im not gonna

--You dont know that-

--And you dont know either!--Jon protested, pulling his arms away from their crossed position,voice roaring with anger-- what makes you think ill die or forget jerico? Good lord,have you seen her?! I dont think The Eye or anything in this world could make me forget her. Think whatever the hell you want but im not leaving her behind

--Hmmph-- Rudolph answered,sounding somewhat impressed-- very well archivist,you made your point. I take back what I said

--Good! I expect an apology

The Man shrugged-- im sorry

--Apology accepted and- wait a minute-- the Archivist looks at the man-- you were trying to weed me out.

--Finally you catched on, I started with a personal insult to see if if you'd take the bait. You did--the avatar answered, all smug-- I figured personal insults would make anyone mad,as soon as I got jerico involved, thats when you bared your teeth

--Why you little sh-

--i wanted to see if you'd stand by your Word, you clearly didnt show any signs of fearing me even if I was bigger,stronger And I was armed with something you knew I know how to use.

--You couldnt just...asked?!

--Actions speak louder than words-- he replied.-- congratulations,archivist, you passed. Not Many people do.-- both hear approaching steps from the ship.

Jerico steps out of the vessel with a leather bag, all happy--well,I think we should start heading back to london if we want to make it to lunch

Both men share one look and play along-- youre right,love-- answers Jonathan,fixing his glasses that got a little crooked in his little outburst.-- lets go

She turns to Rudolph who stands up and smiles-- Rudy,pleasure to see you again

--Same here,my Lady. Please do come by my home soon, ill make dinner. Bring Yu and Az-- he makes a pause, directing a look of mutual respect to Jonathan-- and this one too

Jer snorts and pulls the big Man in for a brief hug. -- Will do. Thanks ,again

--Its nothing my Lady,its the least I could do. Hope he likes it.

Thats when Jon notices the same pendant hanging around Rudy's neck. That one eyed octopus made out of gold that looks really,really old and exposed to the elements.

--I hope so. Anyway,lets go Jon

Jonathan nodds at his fellow avatar and offers his arm for jerico to take. She does and as they walk away rudolph adds--He'd make a fine avatar of yours,by the way,hes certainly got the ferocity for it.

She only smiles at it but the archivist turns to see the other Man step into his ship and getting lost in the mist. And he couldnt hear a hint of mockery in rudolphs voice.

With wide eyes he walks back to the car and off they go to london.

Both find a nice little restaurant to get lunch.Sitting there and eating, Jon Asks...

--So...what did Rudolph get you? More contingency plans?

Jeri chuckled,pulling out the small bag-- nope. A gift for you actually-- she shows Him that same amulet hes got but even older,with one aquamarine gem in the eye of the octopus. -- first pendant with my symbol that was ever made, it got stolen and tossed around and once it sunk in the Ocean, couldnt find it until now...I thought it would be a nice gift

His eyes widen as he takes the impossibly old pendant and changes the one he previously had on-- i- dont know what to say other than...thank you,I love you-- he scrambles to take her hand and kiss her knuckles.

--I love you too,im glad you like it. -- she answered with a smile.

After lunch,they return home. Jon changes into a green cardigan and his pijamas, as hes about to go down to the library to find a good book to read he hears jerico from the kitchen.

--So? What did you think of my avatars?

He stands there on the corridor that runs across all the rooms in the small appartment. His hands trace the carvings on his New amulet and just goes-- Theyre....alright-- he clears his throat-- thank Rudolph for getting this,tell Him the Institutes doors are always Open for him if he needs something...

And before she can answer he goes downstairs with quick nervous steps. But jerico smiles and has to wipe a small tear on her face.

[hertwood]

dts s5 e3-5

e3: -"i am perfect 🥰" fuck u know what sometimes the charles leclerc charm does get to me ngl -"breaking america is very important" OH IS IT. let andretti join then -i'll say it. miami isn't that bad. you can critisize the consumerism of it all without being so anti-america yall -fuck caitlyn jenner but her gushing to christian horner abt how great it is that ferrari is winning is iconic -i did watch this season but i did after the fact /knowing/ max was gonna win in the end. its sorta hitting me how it did really look like, oh my god, charles could really win here. just lookin at his lil face thinking how much did he get his hopes up. how much did i hurt, watching it slip away. how do u even handle that emotionally -i know i've talked abt this before but when i was binging the 2022 season i got super drunk before/while watching miami and when i woke up in the morning i remembered basically nothing other than carlos taking his shirt off (priorities). i watched the race highlights sober and was surprised by the lando crash. lol -if anything this rewatch is putting me back in my max girlie era. chomp chomp chomp. and/or i'm ovulating. combination of both -cannot wait for padel game 2023 edition on dts. it will be superior i know it -i do think its wierd that theyre framing (trying to) prioritize charles as a mean thing to do when its exactly what merc did in 2021 for lewis and it was 100% necessary both times. the guy who said 'ferrari won with the wrong car' wasnt wrong thats just how this shit works!!! -idk why dts couldn't just explain that max has non terminal but non fixable damage and thats why he was so damn slow. i feel like it wouldve been so easy to just mention. give context to why he couldnt get back up there -i dont think having multiple episodes focus on the same race from different perspectives is the worst thing ever, but i do think they fucked it up here by having the silverstone episodes back 2 back 2 back...... at least mix it up a lil. put another episode inbetween so we've forgotten by the time its being rehashed is it rly that hard

e4: -"i would've fucked the whole paddock" you know what maybe gunther IS iconic. maybe i will miss him a lil -i'm not a mick girlie but he is such a sweet boy. gunther count ur days :) -being reminded that michael and jos were teammates is such a jumpscare. how did that happen -"its not about proving them wrong, its about proving yourself right." HES SUCH A SMART N WISE LIL BOY. MWAH MWAH MWAH -that was a legitimately terrifying high speed crash. like a crash is a crash but the way that car got torn up is insane -STAY AWAY FROM OLLIE BEARMAN BTW -kevin supporting mick is So Important like an older sibling trying to break the cycle w/ a shitty parent. kevin i love u -ALSO underrated ship. btw -respectfully. as someone who knows nothing abt cars. if the haas keeps having problems splitting in half during crashes mayb. its a car issue. just a thought -faldskjfalksjf but this monaco crash: thinkin abt during the race, kevin had a mechanical dnf nearly the same time, so when the camera cut from mick's smashed car to kevin standing on the side of the track, looking disappointed, there was legitimate confusion on who fucking crashed. anyway that goes to show MAYBE THE CAR IS JUST SHIT -sebmick. is indeed. important -i love the way mick thinks his name is only a blessing. i just love seeing other people be brutally positive in the face of adversity bc its what i aspire to try to do too. its a good mindset to have i hope he is doin well now <3 -small children humbling tf out of christian horner is so important actually -i'm so glad daniel knew what he was worth with haas. i'm so glad they couldn't damn afford him. as he should 💅 -mick & max ALSO underrated ship. this man is so shippable -i am glad max n mick got to have this lil battle tho. they got to have what their dads predicted finally :)

e5: -ok so this is actually the most recent dts episode ive seen since before i started the rewatch, right after otmar got fired i watched it as a fun lil victory lap. this'll be fun lets goooooooo -otmar as a man is such a walking ick. even if i dislike other TPs at least they dont give me the ick. thats the second most unforgivable crime otmar has committed -i'm sorry the way otmar left AM bc he didnt like lawrence as a boss only to sign up to work for LAURENT ROSSI????? u have to laugh -i've said it before and i'll say it again nando n estie were fucking raw 100% -even if mclaren continued to be shit and alpine didn't implode oscar still made the right choice bc CLEARLY otmar was keen on keeping the nandoestie lineup for as long as fucking possible. and then he gets mad when oscar realizes that and bails??? i hate this man sm -'je m'appelle yuki. merci' iconic dts quote. yall if dts didnt exist we wouldnt have this be grateful -ok. so i know when this season came out this whole dando in the parking garage bit got some heat bc apparently that was not at paul ricard like the episode implies. but honestly. listen. netflix got a fun lil moment with daniel and lando. they didnt have anywhere else to put it. was there really any harm with having it squeezed in there. its not like ppl thinking theres a parking garage at paul ricard is super damaging misinformation. pls find real solid criticisms of dts instead of this kinda bitchin and moanin THANK U -HI SEBCHAL CRUMBS -ok um. not 2 tinhat here but i know dts got some heat for not having enough women in this season. did they go back and add these bits with jennie gow after she recovered from her stroke i dont remember her being here. its fine i just dont particularly like how netflix can go back n change shit -i hate birthdays i get so much second hand cringe from this. if i never get sung happy birthday again ever in my life that would be ideal -how many times has nando left and gone back to renault/alpine? god its like a girl who wont stop getting back together with a cheating bf and then being surprised when he cheats again oh fernando left ur team WATER IS WET BABES -ok what i'm getting is otmar is bad at getting contracts finalized in a timely manner and maybe this is his damn fault :) -'lets show him he made the wrong choice' you have to laugh ladjfaklsjdfaljd

[clover-46]

I'm actually having so much fun sharing these. Also, Good luck with Uni! 💝

Flipping the switch to go to racecar driver David. Because what's more attractive than someone who knows how to drive like a pro?

David's whole team being the pack. Milo deals with his publicity since David hates that shit and Asher helps handle logistics. Sweetheart comanages David, although that's not really a lot of work. And no matter how much Sweetheart and Milo like to pretend they arent together, everyone knows his manager and PR representative are an item.

David never loses a race, and has the cleanest record you'll ever see. No signs of foul play, even when he was racing against Quinn. No one would have blamed him for facilitating that used tissue to crash into the sand pit after what he did to one of David's mechanics.

Angel, who's been a die-hard fan of David ever since they saw him on TV at a bar during their shift. The way he climbs out of his car and takes off the helmet, sweaty enough that his hair sticks to his forehead a bit but not disgustingly sweaty. The way his leather jacket with all his sponsors hugs him so well, along with the matching leather pants, a d "God damn it, why is the camera quality not giving the people what they really want?"

"You mean his ass?"

"OF COURSE I MEAN HIS ASS BAABE! I don't care about who took second or where they went to college! I just want some fan content."

Angel, who keeps sleeping past their alarm because they stayed up late the previous night watching fan edits of David Shaw, and reading reader insert fanfiction with him.

Angel spending way more money than they're willing to admit to go to one of his races with Baabe, who for some reason really likes the technician dude? Whatever. If they want to miss the David Shaw Show, that was their loss.

Angel gets blessed by the gods and gets to do a fan signing with David.

David, who didn't want to do this fan signing because he's not good with people, can't help but think this babbling fan is kind of cute as they stutter out a pickup line before laughing and backpedaling. David, surprising the rest of his team who painfully grinds out one of his own pickup lines to make them feel a little less awkward and uncomfortable.

"Roses are red, violets are blue. With a smile like that, looks like I'm doomed."

Oh... Looks like he accidentally broke them...

Angel from that moment attends every possible race that they can, giddy the entire time. It's a dopamine high for an hour or more. They don't know how much time passes while they keep a careful eye on Davids car turning those corners at breakneck speeds

Asher who suggests that they get some food before returning to the hotel for the night, so they enter a bar. That face behind the counter looks familiar... Wait a minute... Are they stalking him or something?

- 🙊

ok firstly, this is godly. second, DAVID THINKING THEYRE STALKING HIM AT THE END IS GOLD LMAO.

also OUT OF NOWHERE CALLOUT

AND THIS IS SO CUTE OMG

[aelinschild]

Wow. This was an absolute masterpiece. I want to say a hugeeeee thank you to @writtenonreceipts for this Rowaelin Secret Santa gift. I felt all the feels in this and... Wow. Seriously, you are a fantastic writer and I'm so happy I got this as a present

Now onto my thoughts throughout (written as I read through cause I was flabbergasted by this piece of art) 😏

Okay so ranching??? Already I'm intrigued

Goldryn the horse 🥰

For some reason, Rowan being a grumpy man is his perfect personality type. Terribly attractive too.

NOOO THE RANCH

'"what do you mean no"' yeah Rowan 🤨🤨🤨 what do YOU mean???

''he could just suck it up.'' so true. Let's see where that leads though 😏

'"it's a binder"' '"it's my child"' LMFAO

He's so awkward ohmygod, just pull the stick out of your ass rowannn 😫😫

The relationship is changing....I can feel it... Now kiss

Oh no, were getting into the history now...I'm scared

'"There's more to you than that"' yes. Yes there is. Do tell us. And then kiss or something

Gotta say, lysandra-aedion duo ALWAYS completes these stories, I love seeing my babies happy

THEYRE FLIRRRRRRTINGGGG

*Brief interruption* It beautiful that you chose to talk about therapy and safety in this fic, especially during the holiday season where things like that can get overlooked. So thank you for that rawness sprinkled throughout.

''Aelin had it on good authority that goats liked chasing people as a game.'' I love that

OH NO, OHNOOHNOOHNO

It's like watching a car crash in slow motion, you know what will inevitably happen, but you keep hoping it won't - aka Rowan is being a silly goofy dumb man

Oh, Aelin 😟

THE BIG COUSIN REVEAL, gotta love it everytime

My heart is literally racing, oh my god, go get your girl, Rowan!!!

SHE WOKE UP IN HIS BED... NOW KISS

''It was only a small, dull ache though in comparison with the unyielding depths of Rowan’s dark eyes.'' DAMN. wow.

THEY KISSED. SOUND THE ALARMS OH MY GOD

AN EPILOGUE?????!?!??! And with baby fleetfoot 😭 awwww

a/n: Bonus points if you can point out where one of my (many) mental breakdowns occurs.  She’s a bit of a disaster.  I literally don’t know where this came from…

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas @aelinschild!  Written as part of the @rowaelinscourt secret santa exchange. Thanks for putting up with me and my myriad of asks.  It’s been wonderful to get to know you these last few weeks! <3<3<3<3

Find the companion Elorcan piece here! Set just a few months before the main events of this story.

AO3 Link here

Warnings: nothing major, non-explicit/passing mentions of trauma/abuse, very brief mention of drugs ~25k words

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Until the Dust Settles

A golden sun set behind the Oakwald Mountains, casting long shadows across the long stretch of land that made up Whitethorn Ranch.  The acres were a makeup of subtle rills and hills where horses could run for ages and the flatter earth where a decent sized garden yielded a fair amount for the farmers market in the spring and summer. 

The land had been in Rowan Whitethorn’s family for over one hundred years—it was the only home he’d ever known.  He’d grown up racing horses through the vast fields or spending winter chasing down animals that had gotten loose in a storm.  He would admit that sometimes it was a hard life to live—the constant work, the fear for the animal’s safety.  But it certainly had its benefits.

The spring and summer that actually made the land worth having.  Not only because there in the farther outreaches of the countryside, things seemed untouched by society—which really was the only thing worth mentioning.  But it also allowed for the most tourism and when most people came to visit that ranch.

For nearly twenty years now, Whitethorn Ranch was mostly known for its outreach program for troubled teens.  When kids needed time away from home where it was for depression, anxiety, trauma, misbehavior—they came to the ranch.  

It had started ages ago when Rowan’s great-grandfather came to own the land and took on the runaways who were escaping bad situations.  His great-grandparents accepted anyone who came by the ranch as their own and the attitude extended through the generations.  By the time Rowan’s father gained the land, things had turned to be more professional.  

The ranch used a mix of therapy modems and simple outreach to help those who needed it.  They offered day visits for schools, riding lessons, even month-long visits and stays for extreme cases.  It was careful water to tread sometimes.  Recently, Rowan had been more conscious about making sure the kids who came felt safe and wanted.  He never accepted anyone who was forced to come, unless he could talk to the kid first.  Even then, he knew that help only helped when someone actually wanted it.

But now as Rowan stared over the golden horizon, he wondered how anyone could turn a sight like this down.

He tightened Goldryn’s reins and clicked his tongue, directing the horse back to the stables.  It had been a long day of checkouts and clean up.  This late in the fall, most people only came by for tours or field trips.  Business wouldn’t pick back up until May at least.

For now, the ranch would rely on its usual borders.  There were a few families that owned horses but didn’t have the land to keep them, so Rowan rented out stalls and charged for care.  It kept him busy enough in the slower months.  Him and Lorcan, his best friend from college, made things work though.  It had taken a great deal of convincing to get Lorcan to come out here, but the grumpy bastard enjoyed being outside and this job presented plenty of opportunity.

It certainly helped that Lorcan had recently started dating Elide Lochan, who was a staple to the small town.  And Rowan had to admit—they were good together.

As he rode down a worn path along the paddock fence, Rowan could see a shape waiting for him in the distance.  He grimaced.  There was only one person that would be so intent on talking to him.

He slowed Goldryn to a trot, knowing he couldn’t avoid the inevitable.

Leaning against a fence post with her arms crossed and golden blonde hair hanging in loose curls was Aelin Galathynius.  Brilliant, beautiful, and a pain in his ass.  She had come to the ranch almost six months ago after graduating from a top university specializing in trauma.  She was exactly what he needed for what he was trying to accomplish here and exactly the right person to drive him insane.

Rowan pulled Goldryn to a stop at the fence gate and stared down at Aelin.  Her cold blue eyes stared right back up.  She’d long since traded her fancy clothes and high heels out for jeans and t-shirts.  She even wore a baseball cap on occasion.  And yet the change of close did nothing to diminish her looks.

“I need to talk to you,” she said.  She didn’t flinch when Goldryn stamped her feet with a loud snort.  Another thing Aelin had improved upon, not being jumpy around the animals.  Though, she did eye the mare with a bit of distrust.

“It’s outside of my office hours,” he replied.  “Try again tomorrow.”

Aelin scowled at him.  It was the same excuse she used on him when he needed to talk to her, he didn’t see why she should be so upset to have it thrown back in her face.

“That’s what you said yesterday,” she said.

“I know what I said.”  He adjusted his hold on the reins and shrugged. “It’s been a busy few days.”

He jumped off of Goldryn’s back, landing in the earth with a soft thump.  He could just as easily have Aelin open the gate for him, but he was convinced she would have tried to scratch his eyes out if he’d asked.  Keeping one hand in the reins, Rowan unlatched the gate and swung it open towards him.  Goldryn snorted again, huffing as she backed up a few feet to make room.  

Aelin too had taken a step back but she didn’t go far.  She was several inches shorter than he was, even in the boots she wore, but still taller than the average woman.  She had a lean, athletic build Rowan had seen put to good use.  When some of the kids got restless on their extended stays she would workout with them, go for runs, turn hay bales, the whole nine-yards.  She wasn’t weak by any means.

“What do you need, princess?” he asked as he led Goldryn through the gate, locking the paddock again behind him.  He kept himself between Aelin and the horse, mostly because he knew she still wasn’t comfortable around the larger animals and even he wasn’t that cruel.

Still, Aelin almost stalked off right then.  Rowan could see it in her eyes, the tilt of her chin.  It wouldn’t have surprised him if she had.  Hell, he’d never met anyone as stubborn as Aelin Galathynius.  Not even one of his horses had as much attitude.

But he knew she needed something and even though it killed her, she uncrossed her arms and kept pace with him as he set off toward the stables.

“Don’t call me that,” Aelin said flatly.  She flicked her hair over one shoulder as she kept her steps purposeful, even when she stepped in a small hole and nearly went careening forward.

Rowan tried to reach out and steady her as he kept Goldryn reined in, but Aelin waved him off.  She straightened herself out and got on even footing before she continued to scowl at the ground.  She’d always been like that too—refusing help and insisting she could manage things on her own.  She was damned near worse than Farasha.

“Easy,” he said.  He was talking to the horse, who was yanking on the reins a bit too hard.  Aelin of course would never miss an opportunity to glare at him.

It was a shame they hated each other; Rowan decided.  Because try as he might, he couldn’t ignore the fact that she was one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen.  Between her blue eyes, the golden waves of hair, the mischievous tilt of her lips—he’d be a fool not to acknowledge it.  But Aelin was also impossibly stubborn.  She fought him on everything.  She was opinionated.  She was selfish.  She was—

“I want you to open up another week for kids to come and stay over Christmas and New Years,” Aelin said.  She adjusted the yellow and black flannel she wore, eyes straight forward.

She was going to drive him to an early grave.

It was Rowan’s turn to stumble as he spun to look at her. “You what?”

Goldryn snorted, pulling on the reins again.  Oh she was mad at him.  They were a few minutes late to dinner now and she knew it.  Damn horse.

“An extra week for kids to come stay over the holidays,” Aelin repeated.  She didn’t flinch from the way he turned his own glare on her, only kept walking with that insufferable tilt to her chin.

“Why?” he asked.

Christmas—any of the holidays this time of year really—always made for a quieter time on the ranch.  People were more content to stay at home and put off their problems a little longer.  It wasn’t until after that people realized how much they hated their circumstances.  Even then, they didn’t seek out his ranch for anything more than daily horse rides.  Nothing to actually problem solve.

“It’s a hard time of year for kids,” Aelin said.  

They reached the stables and she helped slide the great door open.  Immediately, the heating system blasted them with a warm gush of air accompanied by the scent of hay, manure, and feed.  It was a scent Rowan had grown used to and, strange as it was, he took comfort in.

Rowan handed Goldryn off to one of the stable hands who took the mare to her stall.  Turning to Aelin, Rowan crossed his arms over his chest, taking her in.  She had a fiery determination about her and he knew he wouldn’t be able to brush her off easily.

“Open up an extra week so these kids can have a safe place to come,” Aelin insisted. “There’s a program with the city—”

“Please, Aelin, I know what that means,” he said, already walking away.  She could trail him and make her case if it was so important. “I won’t actually get paid for the extra costs.  The city pretends to take care of all the funding but doesn’t actually give me what I need.”

“I’ll take care of it all,” Aelin said, indeed following right after him as he moved to the feed barrels.  She even managed to dodge the droppings from the lone pig that wandered the stables. “I’ll keep up the communications with the program.  I know the director, she’s not a flake.”

Rowan had heard things like this before.  Sellene had tried to get him to take state funding before too, all that resulted in was mounds of paperwork and audits.

He opened the feed barrels and started scooping portions into waiting buckets that would go to the various horse stalls.  Aelin took one of the buckets as soon as it was filled, her manicured fingers wrapping around the handle.  

“The Cavarre Foundation wants to help kids,” Aelin continued.  She grabbed another bucket. “They’ve already got a list of kids they can send over.”

“Then they can wait til after the holidays,” Rowan said.

He hefted his own buckets and went to the first stall.  A yearling named Quinn was already waiting for his feed.  His owners were aiming for the colt to be a stallion and show for congress.  Quinn had a bit too much attitude to take to that sort of training, he’d be better as a rodeo horse or in the fields, but Rowan wasn’t being paid for that commentary.

“Watch it buddy,” Rowan warned the colt as he opened the stall and eased toward the trough in the corner.  Quinn nickered and pranced a bit, but ultimately didn’t give him any issues.

Aelin waited outside the stall, the tension in her body obvious.  She should just go and catch up with him later.  He would have suggested it too if she didn’t immediately start talking again.

“What if their home lives aren’t the best?  These kids have been selected from a few of the foster homes in the area and recommended by psychiatrists that this would be a beneficial healing opportunity.”  Aelin dodged around a worker moving hay, this time landing one foot in a pile of pig dung.  She didn’t flinch. “Isn’t that what this ranch is about?”

No it wasn’t.

Rowan opened the door of Hessina’s stall.  The mare was pregnant, due in late February, and had to be the sweetest horse he actually owned.  Rowan offered her a nose rub that she eagerly accepted.

“Are you even listening to me?” Aelin asked as Rowan closed the stall again.

“Hard not to when you won’t shut up,” he muttered.  He couldn’t tell if she’d heard him or not--her scowl remained perfectly etched on her face and she betrayed nothing as she walked with him to the next two stalls.

It didn’t take long to get most of the horses fed and ensure they had plenty of water.  The night wasn’t set to get too cold, so they wouldn’t bring out the blankets.  The heating system worked well enough to keep things warm but not freezing and these horses were all conditioned and bred for the chilly winter weather as it was.

By the time Rowan was ready to head back to the main house it had almost darkened completely outside.  Another long day done only for it to continue tomorrow and the day after.  He’d only been officially running the ranch for five years and he was ready to be done with it.

After making sure everything was set for the night, and checking in with the shift leader, Rowan decided he could leave everything as it was.  Lorcan would be in tomorrow to do a once over.  As the lead stable manager, he oversaw the functioning of the workers and the horses.  He even did a bit of training on the horses.  Not that Lorcan would ever admit to doing so.  

“You still here?” Rowan said to Aelin as he headed back to the cold night.  It was a twenty-minute walk, but the weather had been decent enough that he hadn’t wanted to bother with his car. 

“You never gave me an answer,” she said.

They walked across the long drive that led straight to the main house.  The road wasn’t paved, only gravel packed dirt that wound it’s way around the property.  When kids were staying in the cabins, Aelin had a room designated for her in the house, but she usually just went back into town where she rented an apartment.  As far as he knew, she was still planning on leaving when they reached her car.

“I already told you no,” he said.

It wasn’t an easy decision to make; opening the ranch up for a week.  Especially over the holidays.  He knew that Lorcan didn’t care about this time of year and there were a few ranch hands that wouldn’t mind the extra time to work.  But if the city program never paid him, he could never pay for the extra work.  And while he knew he could handle the work on his own if necessary…well, Rowan just didn’t see the point of approving this.

“It’s a lot to take on without much warning,” he added, before Aelin could rise up in a defensive retort. “Give me a day, alright?”

They finally reached the main house with its large wrap-around porch, the whitewashed wood, and three-story windows.  His cousin was probably inside already cooking up a meal that she’d filmed for her Instagram page.  It was the kind of house for a family, for someone with more to their name than Rowan did.  Sometimes he really hated coming home.

Aelin car, a small two-door Audi, waited from where she’d parked it that morning.  Rowan would be very interested to know how she planned on getting around once the snow started.

“I’ll take on any extra work you need,” she said, “cooking, cleaning, I’ll care for horses—”

“You hate the horses,” he said.

Her mouth twisted to the side. “I’ll do what I need to do.  Please, Rowan.  I think this would be a really good opportunity.”

Rowan didn’t know what surprised him more: the fact that she said please or used his first name.  He made the mistake of meeting her gaze, the gold undertones of the blue bright in the porch lights.  Shaking his head, Rowan muttered a curse.

“I’ll let you know in the morning,” he told her.

Aelin nodded once. “Thank-you.”

It was the most civil they’d been to each other in a long time.  Usually their exchanges ended in accusations, shouting, and name calling.  Aelin too seemed caught off guard by it.  She stepped back, digging for her keys in her pocket.  She nodded again before returning to her car.

Rowan remained outside as she made a quick U-turn in the large gravel drive.  She disappeared into the night quietly, the taillights soon lost as she curved down a bend in the road.

“Dammit,” he muttered.

Rowan already knew the answer he would have to give Aelin.  It was one he’d have to give his entire staff.  And he knew no one was going to like it.  Come new year he was going to sell the ranch to someone new.  And just like that the legacy his family had left him would be gone.

…

As she drove down the highway into town, Aelin found herself wringing the steering wheel of the car while imagining it was Rowan Whitethorn’s neck.  She knew, she knew, he was going to tell her no.  He would text her first thing in the morning and tell her that her request would be denied.  That the thing she actually cared about wouldn’t see the light of day.

He was a bastard.

She’d known it from the first day she’d met him so many months ago.  

It was her first full day in Oakwald, having left everything behind in Terrasen, and she was ready to start anew.  She’d expected things to be hard.  But she hadn’t expected Rowan Whitethorn to look at her with such contempt and tell her that she really had no business being there in the first place.  As if he hadn’t hired her just a week ago to fill a vacancy in his staff.

Not to mention the look he’d given her clothes, her car, everything about her was some big cosmic joke.  

Aelin sighed and turned off the highway to the bar where her one real friend worked.

Her little Audi was out of place among the trucks and SUVs.  She just needed to make it another two weeks without any bad weather and she’d have access to her new car.  Locking up, she hurried into the bar, already relishing the warmth awaiting.

In the span of one minute, the cold November air nearly sucked the life out of her.  The bar was a welcome reprieve as it was always kept at a decent heat.  Even with the scent of cigarette smoke lingering in the air, it had a comforting air about it.

Aelin went to the counter and slipped into a stool right next to Lorcan Salvaterre.

“Seriously?” he growled at her with a malicious side eye.

“It's the best of both worlds,” Aelin said with a cheeky smile. “You don’t like sharing your girlfriend, but she’s my best friend.  You still can talk to her and freely ignore me.”

Lorcan was not impressed by the explanation.  Back in the city, Aelin would have done everything in her power to avoid a man like him.  He was massive with long black hair and enough scars to indicate bad news.  His leather jacket strained with his broad shoulders and thick muscles.  And while Aelin would admit she had a thing for guys of a certain physique there was something dark about Lorcan that she couldn’t explain.  Which made it all the more surprising that he and Elide had started dating.

“Hey, Aelin!” Elide appeared from the swinging doors that led to the kitchen, carrying a tray of appetizers for another table.

“Hey!” Aelin called back.

Just a few months ago, Elide had told her about the confession she’d overheard where Lorcan admitted his feelings for her.  It had led to a heated kiss and a night that Elide said was the best of her life.  It was the only explanation Aelin needed or wanted.  She was glad her friend was happy, even if it was with Lorcan Salvaterre.

“Glad to see you’re still grumpy as ever,” Aelin told Lorcan.  She snagged a few pretzels in one of the many bowls set up along the bar.  She’d long gotten over her germ contamination worries.  

Lorcan grunted and sipped his beer.  Aelin rolled her eyes.

“You’re just like Whitethorn,” she said.

Another grunt.  Well, it was better than utter ignorance she supposed.

Elide appeared a minute later.  She leaned against the counter and raised a brow.

“Wow, you actually chose to sit next to Lorcan,” she said, “I’m proud of you.”

“I figured it would be better than making the old man upset that you would choose me over him to talk to,” Aelin explained.  “Besides, I think he’s warming up to me.”

Lorcan cut her a look that only had her grinning.

Elide snorted a laugh. “Yeah, besties the two of you.  What would you like to drink?”

“Just a coke,” Aelin said, “I should get home soon.”

“Coke and mozzarella sticks coming up,” Elide said with a wink.  She glanced at Lorcan. “Babe?”

Lorcan stared at his girlfriend for a long moment before registering what she said.  The corner of his mouth picked up in a smile and he shook his head.  

“Nah, I’m good.”

Elide only smiled fondly as she got Aelin her coke and went to put in an order for mozzarella sticks.

It was strange to Aelin just how enmeshed she’d gotten into this small town just in the past few months since arriving.  She never thought she’d find a place to belong more than in Terrasen, but there was something about Oakwald that she couldn’t deny enjoying.  It certainly helped that she and Elide had become such quick friends.  

But really, Aelin was glad to be out of Terrasen.  She needed a new start.  A new life.  Here, no one knew her history, her parents, anything beyond the fact that she was the new therapist on Whitethorn Ranch.  And she liked it that way.

Elide returned a minute later, her thick black hair piled in a new bun atop her head.  She often worked doubles all week long without much time for herself, let alone to date anyone.  But Aelin had learned a long time ago that Elide was as good as they came.  She worked hard, cared harder, and was one of the most genuine individuals she’d ever met.

“How was the ranch?” Elide asked.  She set another beer on the bar for Lorcan without his needing to ask for it.

“Good,” Aelin said, “it’s been slowing down.  But if Whitethorn wouldn’t be such an ass, it would pick up.  I pitched him my idea for the extra week over the holidays.  He’s just going to say no, though.” Beside her, Lorcan made a noise.  She shot him a glare. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said, “it doesn’t matter.”

He looked up when the bar door opened and a few of his friends came in.  He rapped his knuckles on the counter before standing to go join them.

Aelin looked back to Elide. “How can you like him?”

“Because I do,” Elide said simply.  She leaned across the counter with a sigh. “I’m sure Rowan will approve your idea.  It’s a good one and he knows it’s what his ranch is for.  Take him the numbers and notes you came up with.  He can’t say no to concrete evidence.”

Aelin nodded absently.  When she’d come to Oakwald it had been in part to get away from Terrasen.  But it had also been a beckoning call from her cousin and his wife.

Lysandra Cavarre-Ashryver had been a close friend of Aelin’s for years when they’d grown up together in Terrasen.  They’d lost contact when Lysandra’s foster family took her across the country.  Aelin too had lost contact with her cousin after a series of messy family drama.  It was only after Aelin’s…accident a few years ago that they’d slowly reconnected.

And to be honest ever since talking with Lysandra and Aedion again, Aelin had slowly started feeling like herself.  It had only taken six years.

“I just…I really think it’s a good plan, especially for those kids,” she said.  This entire thing was the only thing keeping her afloat right now.  A job that gave her purpose, a chance to reunite with her cousin…it was better than being left with the reality of potentially going back to Terrasen.

Aelin shuddered at the thought and sipped her coke.  The carbonation danced on her tongue as she swallowed.

“He’s going to say yes,” Elide said.  She gave Aelin another look of assurance before going back to the kitchen to check on orders.

Aelin didn’t know what to think.  Elide had to be on her side, that’s what friends did.  But Elide was also not the kind to cling to false hope.

“Yeah,” she said to herself.  She had to believe that this would go right.  Because the alternative…well she didn’t want to think about that.

…

“What do you mean no?” Aelin asked.

She stared across the desk at Rowan who looked utterly passive as he sat in his chair, fingers steepled before him.

They were in the office of the main house where most of the “on paper” business of the ranch was taken care of.  Aelin had spent a bit of time here over the last several months.  Mostly to force Rowan to listen to her on a subject.  And just like all the other times before it was proving to be hostile and unproductive.

The office was simple in decoration with only a few framed pictures of Rowan’s dad, granddad, and great-granddad, a few knick-knacks on the shelves, and medals and certificates of recognition that the ranch had received over the years for various horses that had made nationals and other such things.

 Aelin didn’t like the room very much.  The rest of the house had a homey feel, but she believed that was because Sellene lived on site while she went to school at the local community college and hosted an online cooking show with Instagram.  It was Sellene that added the feminine touch to the main concourses.  Rowan hardly seemed like the domestic type.  If things were his way the entire house would be empty save for a display of guns.

“I mean no,” Rowan said.  He didn’t even look apologetic as he delivered the news.  “It’s too much work for the ranch in this season.  Most of the workers are already leaving until things pick up in the spring.  And if you can’t guarantee payment then I’m not putting in the risk.”

She pulled out the binder she’d curated with Lysandra and dropped it on the desk with a thunk.

“I have the costs and benefits listed, what the program will offer in payment before and after, they have releases all lined up, the programs director is willing to come down and help with whatever is needed supervision wise for the kids.”  Aelin flipped the binder open to the different graphs and spreadsheets. “If you’d just look it over.”

She was trying desperately to keep her voice even, to keep from shaking and revealing too much, but Aelin could feel a familiar sense of panic rising within her.  This was happening.  He was going to turn her down and she would be left with the solid evidence that she couldn’t even do something as simple as start a therapeutic program on her own.

“Aelin,” Rowan said.  He leaned across the desk and placed a hand on the open binder.  He didn’t even bother to look at the pages of carefully crafted data.  Instead, his stupid green eyes bore into her with what Aelin could only describe as pity.

The bastard was pitying her?

She slid the binder away from him, protective of it and all the work she’d put into its contents.  

“Fine,” she said.  She shouldn’t have been surprised.  In the last seven months of knowing him, he had always been cold and heartless. The kind of person that Aelin should have known better than getting into business with.  He wasn’t any better than—

“I have three conditions,” Rowan said suddenly.

Aelin snapped her eyes back to his.  He couldn’t really mean—

“First, you’ll be expected to pick up extra slack from the workers who already have approved time off for the holiday,” Rowan said, “and you’ll have to convince Lorcan to work over time.”

Aelin blinked at him. “Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“No strings attached?”

“Well, I doubt you’re going to get Lorcan to help.” Rowan shrugged, leaning back in his chair. He paused as if considering what his next words would be. “He doesn’t like helping people very much.”

“I know he doesn’t like me,” Aelin said, her body still thrumming with excitement. “No need to sugar coat it.  What was your third condition?”

Rowan adjusted the cuff of his shirt. “The program director needs to have at least a quarter of the payment to me by tomorrow afternoon.”

“She can have it to you by today,” Aelin said automatically.  She knew that just like her, Lysandra had been waiting for an opportunity like this to come along and had made sure she had sufficient funding all lined up.  Plus, there was Aedion who would go to hell and back if it meant getting Lysandra something she wanted.

Rowan didn’t seem convinced that her words held much weight but he only nodded. “Alright.  Then from the twenty third to January second you’re in charge.”

“Deal.  Done.”  Aelin agreed automatically.  She would have given him the twenty in her wallet and her library card if it would make a difference.  Which it should.  Her library card was worth gold.

Despite his agreement, displeasure was plain to see on Rowan’s face.  He still didn’t like this plan.  Well he could just suck it up.  By the time Aelin was through and was able to execute all the ideas she had—he would see.  This was going to be a brilliant idea, one that could easily become a new tradition for the ranch.

He held out a hand toward her and Aelin stared.  Did he want to shake on this?

“The binder,” he said, one silver brow raised.

Aelin felt a bit of heat rise in her cheeks, but she forced it back.  This binder was her baby.  Quite literally the thing that had pulled her through her master’s program, and hopefully to a doctorate.

“You’re going to be mean to her,” she said.

“It’s a binder.”

“It’s my child.”

Rowan’s lips parted in surprise.  Well, it wasn’t the first time she’d caught him off guard.  It was his turn to stare at her, those green eyes boring into her with such intensity Aelin would have thought he could actually see into her soul.

“I need to know what you’re going to put my ranch through,” he said.

Aelin pursed her lips.  She knew she’d have to relent, but handing over the binder felt like handing over a piece of her and she didn’t think she was ready for that.  Rowan’s hand still wanted expectantly and she glanced down at it.  His palm was upturned and she could see the roughhewn calluses on his fingers and knuckles.  His skin was clean though, the nails neatly trimmed and no dirt tucked in the nail beds.  She’d never quite realized just how big Rowan actually was, in all these months.  And here he was holding out a hand to her and all she could do was stare.

Like a maniac.

She dropped the binder into his hand.  He barely twitched.

“I’ll just wait to hear from your…friend?” he asked.

“Lysandra Cavarre,” Aelin said.  Technically Lysandra Ashryver, but Aelin really didn’t want to go into the complications of last names and what they meant.  She’d made it this far without any association to her past, she could keep it up a while longer.

“Lysandra,” Rowan repeated, committing the name to memory.  He nodded and accepted the binder onto his desk. “I’ll leave you to it then.  You’ve got a lot of work to do if you think Lorcan’s going to agree to this easily.”

“Oh, he’s even more of a bastard than you,” Aelin replied quickly.  She smiled as sweetly as she would if she were talking with someone she liked. “But I’m best friends with his girlfriend.”

With that, Aelin rose from her seat, collecting her bag as she went.  When she reached the door, she turned back and smiled again.

“You won’t regret this.”

Just as she was pulling the door of his office shut behind her, she could have sworn she heard the soft murmur: Mala save me.

Aelin smirked to herself as she walked back through the house.  If she was adding just a little bit of extra misery to Rowans day, she didn’t suppose that would be an issue.  The grumpy buzzard deserved it.

She passed the kitchen where Sellene was sitting at the counter, a pile of books for school in front of her.  Pausing, Aelin rerouted to just say hi to the Whitethorn cousin.

Sellene, a few years older than Aelin’s twenty-five, had always been a staple of the ranch.  Even when she was doing her schooling, she’d taken time off to help raise her younger brother Endymion after their parents passed, she was almost always at the ranch.  Now that Endymion had gone to his own college of choice, Sellene was now able to pursue her own desires.

“Hey, Sel,” Aelin greeted.  She went to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle.

“Hey Aelin,” Sellene said. “Rowan giving you a hard time?”

“Has he always been so cranky?”  Aelin asked.  She sighed and leaned against the counter as she rested her elbows on the granite.  

Across from her, Sellene chuckled. “I guess you could say that.  Just be glad he likes you.”

“Please.” Aelin rolled her eyes. “He hates me.”

“If he hated you, do you think he’d keep you around?” Sellene raised a brow in question. “He’s an ass, but he knows you work hard.”

Aelin wasn’t so sure of that.  Really, she was convinced the only reason Rowan didn’t kick her off the ranch was because there were no other options for therapists to come out into the area.  It had only taken half a day for Rowan to call her in for an interview when she’d first applied.  The job offer came the next day.

“Whatever you say,” Aelin said. “You want to help me piss him off even more?”

Sellene sighed. “I would love to, unfortunately I am going to be headed out to visit Endymion during his break.  It’s harder for him to leave his job.”

Aelin shouldn’t have been surprised.  In the few months she’d been a part of the homestead she’d learned quickly that the Whitethorn cousins were a tight knit group.  Still, it would have been fun to pit Sellene against Rowan at least for a little bit.

“That’ll be fun,” she said.  “I’m sure he misses you.”

“Oh, I plan on embarrassing him to no end,” Sellene replied seriously. “He’s eighteen and thinks he’s the smartest person alive.  The boy’s gotta learn some humility.”

Aelin snorted a laugh.  Honestly, it was the same thing her own cousin would have said about her. 

Sellene shut down her computer sighed. “But I am going to miss this place.  It’s always the best being here during the holidays.  It’ll be weird not to see it all.”

It was a strange sentiment to share and Aelin didn’t quite know how to respond.  But she didn’t have time to ask about it.  It was already getting late in the day and she needed to call Elide to enlist her help.  And then tell Lysandra to send a deposit Rowan’s direction.

“Let me know if you need anything,” Aelin said, she’d have time to get more information from Sellene later.

“Yeah, good luck, Aelin,” Sellene said, smiling softly.

Aelin offered a wave before she hurried out of the house, phone in hand.  

It only rang once before Elide answered.

“Elide?” she asked. “I need your help.”

…

For some reason, Rowan had thought that Aelin wouldn’t succeed in meeting the three conditions he’d set out for her.  Because, really, how would she be able to convince Lorcan of all people to work over time?

He supposed this was his first lesson in not underestimating her because not half an hour after Aelin left his office the morning, he’d approved the project then he got a call from one Lysandra Cavarre asking for routing information that she could send money to.

By the end of the day, he’d gotten a text from Lorcan.

Your girlfriend’s a menace.

Rowan had stared at the message for entirely too long.

Not my girlfriend.

Lorcan’s brief response said more than anything else could: right.

The brief exchange caught Rowan off guard.  Not only for the fact that Lorcan didn’t insult Aelin, but the mere idea of calling her his girlfriend.  She was the bane of his existence.  In the entirety of her time on the ranch she’d demanded change, created chaos, and riled him up with all her little remarks.

Aelin Galathynius sought to drive him insane.  Even when he tried to return the favor, nothing he did seemed enough to deter her.  She only rose to the challenge.  He guessed he could respect her for that.

Three days after striking the deal with Aelin, Rowan woke early, as he usually did, and headed to the stables.  They still had two weeks of preparation before the holidays but there was still plenty to do.  

Rowan dressed quickly before heading to the kitchen where Sellene had left a smoothie and protein bar in the fridge for him.  When there were kids or other guests staying in the cabins, there was a bigger fanfare made for breakfast.  For now, this was usually what he got.  He’d much prefer making his own food, but he always appreciated the effort from Sellene.

He grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl as well and headed out to his truck.  It was barely four-thirty in the morning but that was the life he’d set out for himself.  He’d barely made it down the deck stairs when he noticed the other car sitting in the drive next to his.

Aelin was leaning against the side of her tiny car, wearing a large flannel and jeans tucked into a pair of boots.  In her hands she held two thermoses.  

“What?” She called out to him. “Did you sleep in?”

Rowan crossed the yard toward her. “The sun isn’t even up.”

“Yeah, I hate it.” She took a long sip from one of the thermos’ before thrusting the other at him. “Here.  Black like your soul.”

Rowan stared at the thermos for a minute before he accepted it. “Thanks?”

The morning was dark, not even the horizon had started lighting, yet Rowan could still see the amusement playing in Aelin’s eyes as she watched him.  Her hair hung in a long braid over one shoulder, a few tendrils escaped around her temples.  She didn’t wear any makeup and still there was something so striking about the way she looked.

“It’s not poisoned,” she prompted.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, taking a sip of the coffee.  It was strong and bitter, just as he liked.

“You said I’d need to help pick up the slack,” she said, following him as he walked to his truck. “So here I am.”

If he were being honest, Rowan was surprised.  Aelin had never stuck him as the type to do manual labor.  Or really work for that matter.  Her wealth and status had been obvious the first time he’d met her.  Then there was the car, the designer clothes, the manicures.  When he’d hired her, all he’d received were glowing referrals.  Another surprise.  Even now he was still trying to reconcile his initial impressions of her to who she really was.

“Here you are,” Rowan agreed.  He gave her another once over, unable to help but notice the curve of her hips beneath the open flannel.  Dammit.

Shaking his head, he unlocked the truck.  He could practically hear his mother yelling at him for not opening Aelin’s door for her, but his hands were full.  Besides, Aelin didn’t seem to notice.  She hopped up into the front seat.  Her movements were graceful and easy as though she’d done so a hundred times before.

Rowan settled into his own seat and started the truck up.  There was a small layer of frost on the windshield waiting for them.  His least favorite part of the day was waiting for the heater to get into gear and finally warm up.

“Are you always up so early?” Aelin asked suddenly.  She was huddled in her seat, staving off the chill which was the only thing about the early hour that seemed to be bothering her.

“Yeah,” Rowan said. “Unless Lorcan’s going to be in early.  But I told him to take the later shift until he comes in for your event.”

Aelin hummed at that as she took a long sip of her own coffee. “Interesting.  You should get more sleep.  It’s good for you.”

“I’m in the wrong business for that, princess,” he muttered.

“Don’t call me that,” Aelin said.  She cut him a glare, her lip curling slightly.

“Why not?” he asked.

“Because.”  Another sip of her coffee.

Rowan said nothing and tried clearing the windshield.  It cleared well enough.  He at least wouldn’t be out on the open road, so a few skiffs of remaining ice weren’t the end of the world.  Putting the truck in gear, he backed up a bit before turning.

“Are you always such a morning person?” he asked as they headed down the long drive.

“Hell no.” Aelin made a face. “If I had it my way I wouldn’t get out of bed until noon.  This is my second round of coffee.  Do you have any idea how much I am not looking forward to today?  It’s going to be miserable.  The worst.  I hate mornings.”

She spoke with such vehemence that Rowan wondered if there really was a way for morning to be such a real entity for someone to hate.  It was also amusing, especially the way her nose crinkled in disgust.

“It’s a beautiful morning,” he said, clearing his throat. “You can’t hate that.”

“It’s pitch black and I can see my breath,” she deadpanned.  Sighing she adjusted in her seat. “C’mon, buzzard, you wouldn’t rather be in bed still?  All warm and snuggled up?”

“No,” he said.

Aelin chuckled in that nonsense sort of way she had. “Hmm, right.  Even you have to admit a lazy morning in is fun.  With the right company.”

Rowan stared staunchly forward.  Though, he could still see that insufferable grin of Aelin’s out of the corner of his eye. 

“Ignoring me now?” she pressed.

The sight of the stables had never been more glorious.

“No, you’re just impossible.”

“Thank-you.”

Rowan parked the truck in its usual spot and tried hard not to smile.  He settled with an eye roll.

“Let’s go buzzard,” Aelin said.  She threw the door open and hopped out of the truck. “Show me the ropes.”

If there was one thing Rowan knew to be true—it was going to be a long day.  Though as he clambered out of the truck himself, the thought didn’t seem as heavy as it once may have been.

…

In the end, the day wasn’t bad.  In fact, things ran far smoother than Rowan had been expecting.  He’d thought that by having Aelin shadowing him things would go a lot slower and he’d have trouble getting everything done, but she was a ready student.

She handled feed buckets with ease, tied perfect knots on the first try, she even mucked stalls without complaint.  If Rowan didn’t know any better, he’d have said she’d spent time in a barn before.  A lot of time.  She seemed to know her way around the equipment, knew the terms, and sometimes reacted before he even needed to give instruction.

When he tried to ask her about it, she told him he was insane.  

It wasn’t the first time someone had lied to him, but he figured it wasn’t worth trying to needle the information out of her.

The routine continued for the rest of the week.  Aelin would be at the ranch first thing in the morning with coffee and they’d work all day together until dinner when they’d return to the main house.  

“You know you still have a room in the house, right?” Rowan asked one morning. “You don’t have to do this back and forth.”

“Oh,” Aelin looked out her window as they passed familiar pastures. “I guess…I figured you wouldn’t want me there?  Sellene’s gone and all, why not have the place to yourself?”

It was true, Rowan often enjoyed his time alone unless he went into town to have a drink with Lorcan, Fenrys, and Connall.  A recluse, Aelin had called him on occasion.

The strange thing about it was…Rowan didn’t think he would have minded Aelin being around more.  She drove him mad, more often than not, but even in the last few weeks (days really) there had been a subtle shift.  One that he didn’t know how to identify.

“Your friend is coming with the new group of kids, right?” Shifting the conversation seemed the safer option so he didn’t hesitate.

“She and her husband,” Aelin agreed, he didn’t miss the look she gave him. “They were planning on staying at the house, if that’s still alright?”

“Yeah, we’ve got plenty of space,” Rowan said.  The house was enormous with five separate rooms and four bathrooms.  His great-grandfather had always wanted a home to welcome as many guests as possible so new additions were added on continuously in the early years.  His own parents had hoped to keep the house full of children.  In the end, it was only Rowan who waged war upon the floorboards.

Aelin nodded absently, her fingers drumming on her thermos absently. “I’ll come up with them and stay the week before and during.”

“Alright,” Rowan said.  The drive to the stables that morning was the same as ever with only another light dusting of snow falling from the sky.  As late December encroached, it wouldn’t surprise him if they were due for a storm.

“They’ll be coming tomorrow, I think,” Aelin said, “Lys and Aedion.”

Rowan started. “Aedion Ashryver?”

In her seat, Aelin visibly flinched.  She covered it almost seamlessly as she tossed her hair over her shoulder and sat up a little straighter.

“He’s an ass,” Aelin told him. “Though, very good looking.”

Rowan could only stare.  The Ashryvers were practically celebrities in the world of horses and ranch work.  Evalin and her sister Andra made waves when they were young for their work in showing horses, not just in contemporary riding, but racing, and rodeo.  They’d set a standard for those that would come after as they changed the equestrian world for years to come.

He didn’t know much of what had happened to either woman after they’d aged out.  Only that they continued to run a ranch out in the countryside of Terrasen for breeding and training.  He knew there had been a scandal of some sort five or six years ago involving a rider and a trainer, but the story evaded him.

When they got to the stables, Lorcan’s own truck was already there and he’d turned on the floodlights to help beckon in the rising dawn.  They were still a week out from when the Christmas group of kids would come, so Lorcan shouldn’t have even been there.

Rowan glanced at Aelin who didn’t seem the least bit surprised at the sight.

“How did you get him to agree to this?” Rowan asked.

“I can be very convincing,” Aelin replied simply. “And Elide.”

Not sure he wanted to know the full details in that, Rowan let the rest of the conversation drop.

As always, Lorcan remained in his quiet way.  He went about his usual duties without comment, only nodding in acknowledgment as Rowan and Aelin entered the stables.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping in?” Rowan asked.  He rested his keys on the rack beside the doors, not yet ready to take off his coat to the morning chill.

“Couldn’t,” Lorcan replied with a shrug.  He nodded to Aelin. “Regretting your choices yet?”

“Nope.”  Aelin smiled brightly.  She took a long sip of her coffee and went to the row of shelves reserved for personal items.  

Lorcan shot Rowan a look that he ignored.  They’d had plenty of conversations about Aelin and the week she had planned for the holiday.  Besides, if Lorcan couldn’t say no to Aelin (even if Elide wasn’t a factor) they were both idiots.

Knowing better than to try and tease Lorcan about how quickly he’d fallen for Elide, he crossed the stables to where his friend was working on preparing some equipment.

“What’ve you already taken care of?” He and Aelin had gotten a slightly late start for the day--a mix of him waking up late and the frost and Aelin needing to steal breakfast from him. 

“Not much,” Lorcan admitted, “everything’s pretty much good.  The vet’s coming around for check-ups this afternoon.”

“Do you know how the cabins are looking?”

Lorcan shrugged. “Probably about the same as when the last group left.”

That shouldn’t have surprised him. “We’ll go take a look then come back to help prep for the vet visit.”

“Sure,” Lorcan said.  He glanced to where Aelin was kneeling before the ranch pig, dubbed Ex because it had been Endymion’s turn to pick a name.  The finalists of names fell between Frank and Excali-wilbur and Endymion did not disappoint.  “Have you told her yet?”

Rowan scowled. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Sure,” Lorcan said, scraping off a bit of dirt from an old bridle set. “Keep telling yourself that.”

The words sat heavy with Rowan the rest of the day.  He knew that Lorcan just liked screwing with him on occasion.  But there was also a part of him that worried if there was truth to Lorcan’s ominous words.  He really didn’t see what it mattered though--whether he was going to sell the ranch or not was his own business.

He really didn’t see what the difference was if he continued to owned the ranch or not.  Sellene and Endymion hadn’t expressed any in taking the land over for themselves and they were the only living relatives Rowan knew about.  Theirs were the only opinions that mattered.

Still, by the time he and Aelin finished getting the cabins ready for the guests in the coming weeks, he couldn’t help but feel a niggling sense of guilt.  He kept tamping it down of course.

It wasn’t until mid-day that the vet came around that Rowan was finally able to turn his thoughts in different directions.  They had two pregnant mares in the stables that year which was the biggest concern Rowan had.  They’d both foaled before but there was still plenty of room for things to go wrong.  Besides them, there were six other horses to be looked over.  It was usually a two-day affair, especially when weather got a little dodgy, but the vet seemed confident they’d finish up by the end of the day.

While the vet was in with Farasha, Rowan realized he hadn’t seen Aelin for a bit.  He might have had his misgivings about her, but she’d proven herself to be responsible and attentive in all her recent duties.  Even if she didn’t like horses.

Rowan glanced around the main floor of the stables before heading to the back stalls where the two pregnant mare’s were settled.  It was the warmest part of the large barn with the largest stalls.  His boots scuffed in a bit of hay as he went and he almost missed the soft voice talking to the horses.

Diana and Hessina, thankfully got along alright.  Sometimes pregnant mares could get a little feisty with each other, but the two had been inseparable when they’d been born the same season almost six years ago now.  Rowan remembered the day.

He stopped just outside Hessina’s stall and what he saw made him question just about everything he thought he knew.

Standing in Hessina’s stall with a set of brushes and other items was Aelin.  She carefully ran a curry brush over Hessina’s coat in methodic movements.  All the while she continued to talk softly to the mare.

“Alright, mama,” Aelin said, “let’s get you cleaned up.  You deserve it don’t you?  Especially before baby gets here, huh?  Look at you so pretty standing here for me.”

For a minute, Rowan thought he’d wandered into an alternate reality.  In all the months of her being on the ranch, Aelin had never approached one of the horses so willingly.  She’d kept her distance from the barn and the animals beside the pig and the goats.  He’d never have expected her to spend time with any of the horses, let alone grooming them.  And doing so with obvious practice and ease.

“I thought you hated horses?” he found himself saying.

Aelin froze.  It was the first time he’d ever caught her off guard.

“I never said that,” she replied.  She traded out brushes and ran a shedding blade over Hessina next. 

“You’ve never spent more than a minute with any of the horses in all the time you’ve been here,” Rowan said.

He entered the stall and grabbed a brush to use on Hessina’s mane.  Somehow, no matter what he or any of the stable hands tried, the long hair always got tangled even if they were careful to brush it the day before.

“That doesn’t mean I hate them,” Aelin said.  Her voice was soft, lilting in that way she’d used when she was addressing Hessina specifically. “Not when they’re such pretty girls.”

Her long fingers ran over Hessina’s sides, pausing over the swell of the mare’s belly.  It seemed as though she knew exactly how to handle a horse.  Or at least where to massage a pregnant mare’s muscles effectively or how to run a flat brush over the coat to leave it gleaming.  Truth be told, he’d never seen Hessina looked as relaxed as she did now under Aelin’s ministrations.  No matter what Aelin said, she was a natural.

Rowan tugged at Hessina’s mane with as much care as he could.  But he noted the twitch of her ears.

“Sorry,” he murmured, knowing he’d pulled too hard.  He glanced back to Aelin. “Seriously, you’ve never spent this much time with the horses before.  You know how to care for them.  And you can make a decent knot.  I thought you were a city girl?”

Aelin shrugged, walking to Hessina’s other side. “I am a city girl.”

“No.” Rowan shook his head. “There’s more to you than that.”

They stood across from each other now, more or less.  And Aelin wouldn’t meet his gaze as she brushed out Hessina’s other side.  Her lips thinned and Rowan knew she was thinking deeply on something.  

“I used to read all the horse books I could,” she finally said, “made my mom buy them all for me.  I had a whole bookshelf devoted to them.  And then I grew up.”

Her hands paused, fingers grazing over a few stray bits of Hessina’s mane.  A stray thought took her mind far away from that place.  Far enough that she stopped brushing entirely.  Hessina took offense to that and nickered, dipping her head back towards Aelin.

Chuckling, Aelin reached out and scratched the mare’s nose before she continued brushing.

“What about you, Whitethorn,” she asked, blue eyes sparking with delight as she finally looked at him. “Were you always in a horse boy phase or did it come suddenly?”

He rolled his eyes. “I grew up on this ranch, it’s all I know.”

Aelin paused at his words.  She looked as though she wanted to something, but the words were lost on her.  Instead, she shook her head and nodded at his work.

“You’re making that worse, aren’t you?”

“No,” he said defensively.

No matter what he said though, Aelin came over to take a look at the work he was doing on the mane.

“A girl’s pride is in her hair,” she said, whether to him or Hessina, Rowan had no idea.  

He could only watch as Aelin took over detangling and brushing.  Her hands were soft as she tugged and brushed.  Occasionally she would murmur something and give the mare an affectionate pat on the neck.

What he didn’t notice was how close he and Aelin were standing, not at first.  But the second he realized it; it was all he could think about.  He could feel the warmth radiating off of her and he could still smell the lemon verbena of her shampoo in her hair.  Even with the bit of sweat and dirt that lingered on her skin.

There was something about watching the methodical way she worked that was mesmerizing.  Nothing seemed to frustrate her as she went even when something didn’t detangle immediately or if she had to make a bigger mess in order to get things right.  She would only hum under her breath and continue.

“Do you—” she began to speak and spun almost directly into him.  She made a small noise of surprise and stumbled just a bit before Rowan reached out to steady her.  “Hell.  Sorry.”

She blinked up at him with those bright blue eyes and he noticed a ring of gold around the pupils adding to that light that always seemed to illuminate her.

Gripping her arms, he waited until she regained her footing before slowly pulling away.

“You good?”

Aelin nodded; mouth parted slightly as though she were about to say something.

The illusion shattered when Lorcan called out from the main stable.

“Whitethorn, get out here!”

It was probably better that way—for Rowan to leave Aelin there.  She turned back to Hessina and kept talking with those soft words and gentle inflections.  Whatever spell had been over them was long gone.  Though that was for the better.  Rowan didn’t need to get close to Aelin.  Not now.

So, he tried to forget about the last ten minutes and went to help Lorcan with whatever it was he needed.

…

When she was eighteen, Aelin had her first serious crush.

It was different than all the other little sparks she’d ever gotten before.  It was different, new, and completely reckless.  Oh, she’d never acted on it, not exactly.  And maybe it was better that way.  Because in the coming year (and several years after) Aelin would come to realize that boys, men, would never treat her well.  Especially not the ones that had country written into their bones.

So when she came to Whitethorn ranch at the beginning of the summer, she’d told herself it was for the experience.  It was for the work she loved.  It was for the kids who needed help.

And then there was Rowan.

They’d clashed the entirety of their working relationship and Aelin really didn’t know how she’d lasted as long as she did.  And here she was now, on the brink December and the New Year right around the corner.  

She sighed and straightened the small room designated for her at the main house.  Rowan had let her off for the two days leading up to the main camp days when Lysandra and Aedion would be arriving.  

The room was the next biggest aside from the master suite that Rowan slept in.  With its own bathroom and the large window that overlooked the back western side of the ranch with the mountains in the distance—Aelin loved it.

It was already decorated with a few things of the Whitethorn family.  A few black and white photos from the early days, hand embroidery frames, and a few porcelain figures in the inlaid shelving.  It was simple and homey and for whatever reason, Aelin didn’t feel the need to change anything.  Except for the piles of books and a few pictures of her own family.

As she straightened things up, and prepared the bedroom across the hall for Lys and Aedion, she couldn’t help but think of the last few days with Rowan.

She didn’t know how it was possible, but they hadn’t killed each other.  There weren’t even any attempts.  Sure, their words held just as many barbs as before, but it felt different.  Or maybe she was just hoping there was something different.  

For as much as she complained about how small Oakwald was and how difficult working on the ranch and the therapy work here was--she wanted to make this home.  She wanted this to be a place she could put down roots.  Here, no one knew her past.  No one knew who her family was.  No one knew every little detail about who she was other than simple being Aelin.

Her phone started ringing at the same time a series of honks echoed from the front of the house.  Grinning, Aelin answered the phone already knowing who was on the other line.

“Are you here?” she demanded.

“Bitch, what do you think?” Lysandra said on the other line.  In the background Aelin could hear Aedion: stop honking the horn, Lys.  She knows.

“I’ll be down in a second,” Aelin chuckled.

She flew from her room and down the stairs of the house.  She barely bothered with the slippers waiting by the front door before she threw the front door open.

The SUV hadn’t even come to a full stop before the passenger door opened and Lysandra got out.  Her long dark hair hung loose and she wore a simple gray sweater and jeans.  She screamed when she saw Aelin and ran across the yard toward her.

Aelin met her halfway, pulling her friend into a hug.

“I’ve missed you so much!” Lysandra was saying as she continued to hug Aelin. “It’s been so boring without you.”

“I’m sorry I left you alone with Aedion,” Aelin teased.  She pulled back, grinning.

Aedion huffed as he came around the SUV.  His blond hair, so similar to Aelin’s, long enough to just barely fit into a low tie, his handsome features slightly distorted with a scowl.

“I love you too, Aelin,” he said, trying and failing to hold his disapproving look.

Aelin launched herself at her cousin.  It had been a while since they’d seen each other between work and distance.  But she was grateful he had chosen to come and help both her and Lys.

“You do love me,” she insisted, “I introduced you to your wife, after all.”

Aedion pulled back with a roll of his eyes. “Yes, I’m forever in your debt.”

“I know,” Aelin said seriously.  She then turned and linked arms with Lysandra. “C’mon, I’ve got a room ready for you.”

Her friend didn’t immediately follow through, instead turning in the cold morning air, taking in the sweeping blue skies and acres and acres of land surrounding them.

“Seriously, Aelin, where are we?  This feels like a step out of time.”

She’d thought the same thing when first arriving. “It’s better in summer and you're not freezing your butt off.”

Indeed, during the winter the sun could be out and bright and happy like it was now, but it was still cold enough to want to literally crawl into a fireplace and never come back out like some sort of dragon.  

Aedion offered to get the bags, letting Aelin and Lysandra head up to the house.

“So,” Lysandra said as they went to the kitchen. “Where’s Rowan?”

Aelin rolled her eyes. “He’s at the stables finishing things up.”

“But he’ll be here later?” Lysandra pressed; one brow raised.

“Yes.”

“And you’ve been sleeping under the same roof and nothing’s happened?” Lysandra scoffed and accepted a proffered glass of water.

“Please, Lys, he’s my boss.  And an ass.” Aelin turned to find snacks or something else to offer while her cheeks flushed at Lysandra’s words.

“Mm-hm,” Lysandra hummed with obvious doubt.  “I’ve looked him up, he’s hot.”

“Lysandra!” Aelin spun on her friend who let out a cackle. 

“You should see your face,” Lysandra laughed. “You know I’m right.”

“He’s made my life miserable,” Aelin said, “and, like I said, he’s an ass.”

“Right.”  Lysandra merely sipped her water and sighed. “You keep saying that.”

Much to Aelin’s appreciation, Aedion entered the house, bags in hand.  She left Lysandra in the kitchen and showed Aedion to the room she’d set up for the two of them.  It was the one room just a little more isolated than the others, but that just made it feel a little cozier.  Which she didn’t think they’d mind.

From there, the rest of the day was relatively nice.  Even with Lysandra’s continued teasing about Rowan.  Thankfully, she kept most of it up when Aedion wasn’t around.

Aelin gave them a tour of the house and immediate grounds before heading out to the cabins reserved for the kids that would be arriving in the next several days.

She and Lysandra were able to go over the various activities and group sessions and plan out where each would take place and how transport would work.  Thankfully, the main house was a good central point and should the weather stay nice, walking wouldn’t be an issue.

“There’s supposed to be a storm,” Aelin said at one point, “but they’ve been saying it would happen for two weeks now, and nothing.  I think it’ll just hit Denver and move on.”

That was the hope.  But Aelin wouldn’t let herself worry about a snow storm right now.  They had a contingency plan in place, but the weather had been cooperating thus far that she doubted it would be an issue.

Later that night as they were fixing dinner, Aedion broke out his excellent cooking skills with a chicken and vegetable skillet, Rowan finally returned home. 

“Welcome back, Buzzard!” Aelin called when she heard the door open and shut.  She also heard the way he paused while trying to decide if he could get out of being social. “We just made dinner, come join us.”

Lysandra shot her a look, but Aelin ignored it.  Instead, she got an extra plate ready as Rowan slowly trudged into the kitchen.

“This is Lysandra and Aedion,” Aelin said, “Lys founded the group that we’re hosting next week.  And her husband, Aedion, is the muscle.”

She didn’t know why she didn’t mention that Aedion was her cousin, but the admission just felt off.  Aelin had spent so long distancing herself from her mother’s name and the attention that it got that it just felt natural not to bring it up.  Besides, that wasn’t the point of this visit or the event they’d worked so hard on.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Rowan said, he didn’t smile, but Aelin supposed him joining them all for dinner was good enough.

“We’re just running through the week,” Aelin said.  She handed him his plate which he accepted. “Is there anything you wanted to talk about with the itinerary I gave you?”

Rowan didn’t answer immediately.  He settled in his seat next to her and took a bite of his food, thinking.  Or just avoiding talking.

“Nah,” he said after a minute. “Everything looks fine.  There’s going to be ten kids in total?”

“Maybe eight,” Lysandra spoke up, “it’s a little hard to get exact numbers right now.  Some kids are being shuffled so close to the holidays and their guardians are being…difficult.” She made a disgruntled sort of face. “But I know for sure eight of them are ready to go.  The other two we’re waiting on some consent forms.”

It wasn’t anything surprising to Aelin. But they would make the best of it and hopefully all the kids they’d planned for would come.

“There’s plenty of room no matter who chooses to come,” Rowan said, “so that’s not a problem.”

“You said you’re not going to be around on the Friday after Christmas though, right?” Aelin asked.  He hadn’t told her why or what he was doing, just that there was business on the ranch that needed taking care of.  She thought better than asking for more details especially when he was so guarded about the affair in general.

Rowan paused for a heartbeat in his ravenous eating and Aelin almost wouldn’t have noticed if not for the way his eyes skirted to hers and dipped away just as quickly.

“I’ve got a meeting planned most of the day,” he said, “but if anything goes wrong—”

“They’ll be fine.” Aedion spoke up with a wave of his hand. “If there’s anyone who knows how to embrace chaos to her advantage it’s Aelin.”

Aelin rolled her eyes, passing the water pitcher around the table. “I stole my dad’s truck once and it worked out fine.”

“I’m talking about the time you set off all those fireworks and nearly set the house on fire, but thanks for proving my point.”  Aedion grinned at her glare.

Rowan only shook his head from beside her. “What the hell kind of childhood did you have?”

“Normal, perfectly normal.” Aelin said.  Desperate to keep the conversation moving and away from any revelation of how she and Aedion were related, she kept talking.�� “Besides, none of that will be happening this week.  I didn’t have time to find any fireworks.”

“Please,” Lysandra said, “you don’t even try not to cause problems.  Remember in college you stole that frats keg?”

“Because Archer Finn plagiarized my report on Edgar Allen--you know, he was an ass that’s all that matters.” Aelin had done a lot of questionable things in the name of justice.  But stealing that keg was damn near the top of the list considering the fact she nabbed it in the middle of the biggest party of the semester.  Truly remarkable. “So it was less of a problem and more karma calling his name.”

“So,” Rowan said, glancing over at her, “you really have been a menace all these years?”

She should have been affronted by his teasing but with the way he was actually smiling with amusement burning in his eyes and the levity of the night—Aelin found she couldn’t be mad.  Because here, for this small moment, Aelin wasn’t scared about what the future might hold.

…

Despite the teasing of her cousin and Lysandra, Aelin really did exist best in chaos.  She wasn’t at all intimidated when the week officially started for the outreach program.  She didn’t even have panicked stress dreams about it either.  Everything had been planned out in detail.  It was going to be a success.

And everything her friends had done to help make it possible just warmed Aelin all the more.  Between all that Lysandra and Aedion did on their end, to Elide volunteering her days when she wasn’t needed at the bar, and Lorcan willfully helping out (through whatever bribery Elide had offered), everything started off without a hitch.

The thing about therapy that Aelin loved the most was the breakthroughs.  The understanding that came with trauma and healing.  It was often a long hard journey, but it happened.  And when you worked with kids?  It made the work all the better.

The week wouldn’t be focused on the talk therapy of it all though.  Mostly they’d be going on hikes, cooking in the main house, learning about the horses and caring for them, and then a little of the therapy side.  This week was about feeling safe and finding joy in an otherwise hard spot of life and Aelin was determined to help offer that bit of peace.

After all the kids arrived, twelve total and ranging from twelve to seventeen years old, everything continued as expected.  The kids were paired off closer to their ages into the two different cabins and it all seemed to be working for the best.

Aelin found that two of the younger kids, Evangeline and Luca, were the more hesitant of being there.  Despite Luca’s outgoing nature, Aelin could tell there was a bit of worry in his attitude as he always seemed to look to her for approval in any of the activities they did.  Evangeline always sidled over to Lysandra.  It wasn’t a strange occurrence, just one they needed to be careful with.

Though, if Aelin knew Lysandra like she did, her friend had done work with Evangeline before and was fiercely protective of her now.  

“How many s’mores can these kids eat?” Rowan asked one night.

They were having an outdoor campfire with s’mores and other treats while Elide of all people told scary stories.

“Sugar is an essential food group, buzzard,” Aelin reminded him, “especially for teens.”

They stood just a bit away from the fire pit outside two of the cabins, just far enough away to not be distracting.  It was Thursday meaning the week would officially finish out on Monday and the ranch would be able to return to its usual winter hours and day to day functions.  Aelin was a little upset by the idea, but she was sure Rowan was as giddy as he could be over the prospect.

“I thought that was just you,” Rowan said.

Aelin kicked him with the toe of her boot.  If her hands hadn’t been stuffed into the pockets of her coat, she might have flipped him off.

“Ha, ha,” she said. 

“Seriously,” Rowan continued, “I’ve seen the stash you think you’re hiding in the kitchen.”

“Chocolate is good for the soul,” Aelin sniffed, “and I recommend the occasional indulgence as a therapist.”

Rowan shook his head, looking out over the fields behind them.  A ghost of a smile fell across his lips and even in the flickering shadows of the fire, Aelin thought it was the most beautiful sight.

“Occasional indulgence, sure,” he murmured. 

“We can’t all love kale as much as you do,” Aelin said.  She’d seen what he came home with from the store.  Kale and zucchini and any myriad of health foods.

He only smiled at her and Aelin felt it like a punch to the gut.  She had no idea what had happened in the last few weeks, but somewhere along the way the loathing had simmered away to…appreciation?  Admiration?  Whatever the feeling was, she didn’t know where it came from, but it was here all the same.

“Thank-you for agreeing to this Rowan,” she said, before she could lose her nerve. “For agreeing to let us host this week and letting these kids come here.  I know it’s not the most convenient thing.  But I know it means a lot to them.”

And me, she added silently.

His smile fell just a touch. “Aelin—”

Whatever else he was about to say was swallowed up by Lysandra announcing it was time to head off to bed.  The quiet contentment of the night disbanded as the kids all voiced their complaints and pleads for another story.  Apparently Elide’s tales about bloodthirsty witches were all the rage.

But it was well nearing eleven and they’d all been up late enough as it was and Aelin herself was exhausted.  They rounded everybody up and had them filter off to their cabins.  Elide and Lorcan would serve as chaperones that night, giving Lysandra and Aedion a break.

Hopefully it would put a stop to a small issue growing between Luca and one of the other boys, Aelin didn’t know all the details as Luca refused to talk further about it, but she was worried nonetheless.  And even if she wasn’t sure about the idea of Lorcan as a chaperone, Rowan assured her that he was surprisingly good with kids.  Aelin decided she would trust Rowan on that front, and let the issue slide.  For now.

…

Friday dawned dark and chilly.  The sky was full of gray clouds that stretched as far as the eye could see.  It made Aelin feel boxed in even if there was still just as much open air as before.  But those clouds hung low and didn’t budge.

She tried to not let it bother her, it was bound to happen eventually.  And in this area the weather was always changing.  By the afternoon there would be a break in the clouds and the sun would return.  Or else they’d just get a light skiff of snow.

The day was being treated as a small rest day, of sorts.  The kids had helped cook breakfast for everyone, played a few games outside, and they were now headed out to the stables to help build a shed for the goats.  

It was less of build and more of a supervision.  If the kids wanted to help they could, if not, Aelin had it on good authority the goats enjoyed chasing people as a game.  Plus, one of the stable hands that had volunteered to help out was a master sling-shot expert and could take the kids to the side of the barn to practice their skills (on non-living targets).  

They got to the stables just after lunch and clean-up.  This was going to fill most of the rest of the day and then lead into a few individual sessions with the kids.  No one had mentioned that it was Christmas or anything of the sort and none of the kids seemed to be having any major issues.  But Aelin wanted to have a chance to talk with them and see if this week had helped them at all.  From what she could tell it hadn’t done any irreparable damage, but kids could be excellent at masking their emotions if they really wanted to.

As the building commenced, Aelin took note of Rowan’s truck outside the stables in its usual spot.  Beside it was another car, a Tesla of all things.  She’d thought Rowan was supposed to be in a business meeting, not at the stables.

She made sure the kids were all occupied doing what they were supposed to, or at least just having fun, before she walked over to where Lorcan was exchanging water for one of the troughs.

“Is Rowan here today?” she asked without preamble.

Lorcan raised a brow and leaned against the fence, balancing the empty blue water barrel beside him.  “What?”

“Rowan,” she said, gesturing to his truck. “I didn’t think he would be on the property today.”

Looking away from her, Lorcan ran a hand over his jaw.  It was obvious he was trying to decide what to say exactly and that made trepidation rise in Aelin’s throat.

“He’s here, I can’t tell you more than that though.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” Lorcan said, pushing off of the fence, “that you can talk to Rowan about it.”

He walked away then, leaving Aelin to mull over the words that she already didn’t like.  She watched him trek back to the stables and a part of her expected to see Rowan walking out as though waiting for that exact moment.

It was foolish, she knew.  Whatever worry was gnawing at her gut was unfounded and she didn’t need to get caught up on this.

Aelin forced herself back to where the kids were helping out with nails and plywood, a few had wandered off to stack crates together which the goats started climbing on with ease.  She came to a stop beside Lysandra, stuffing her hands into her coat against another stiff breeze.  The air smelled cold, if that could even be a scent.  But she didn’t know how else to describe that stiff, clean sterility.

“What’s up?” Lysandra asked, leaning into her.

“Nothing,” Aelin replied, glancing one more time at the stables.  “Nothing, it’s fine.”

Lysandra didn’t look convinced.  She remained quiet though as she returned her attention out to the paddock of goats and kids.

Aelin did her best to try and pay attention to the kids and offer encouragement and commentary where needed, but her mind was elsewhere.  Which, she knew was stupid.  She shouldn’t be thinking about Rowan and what was going on with him and his “business meeting” if that’s what was really going on.  And she shouldn’t even care whether or not it was for business.  Right?

A part of her did care though.  A part of her wondered what his meeting was about and why he hadn’t gone into detail about it with her.  She knew they weren’t technically business partners, but she did a lot of work for him all the same.  And the things that she did were specific to the business and therapy modem that Whitethorn ranch was known for.  Shouldn’t she be at least a little involved?

Half an hour later, Aelin had almost completely distracted herself until she heard the sound of Rowan’s low voice.  She spun towards it, already knowing what she would say to him.  But the second she turned it wasn’t Rowan that caught her attention.  It was the well-dressed man walking beside him.

Aelin felt her entire body seize up as a cold numbness swept through her.  Static crackled in her ears and her mouth went dry.

Because there beside Rowan was the man who had ruined Aelin’s life.

With auburn hair hanging loose around his face and gray suit that never seemed to wrinkle or stain--Arobynn Hamel looked the same as the day Aelin last saw him.  She still hadn’t been released from the hospital after the accident, still unsure if she’d be able to walk again, and still unsure what her life would look like.  But she’d held on to hope.  She’d held on long enough for him to come and place blame directly on her shoulders before sauntering away as though he couldn’t have cared less about what happened to her.

She’d been nineteen then.  Nineteen and convinced that he was supposed to be the answer to all her problems.  That was the thing about glorifying people when you were a kid, you never understood just what a dangerous game that was.

She tried reaching out for Lysandra, but her friend had entered the goat paddock to help hold a few boards in place.  She was alone.  Alone and watching the second Arobynn saw her.  He immediately made a b-line towards her.

“Well, well,” Arobynn said as he approached.  Just as he’d always been, he had that cold arrogance about him.  It was the same sort of swagger than everyone in their circles had.  The kind of money and stature, that he was better than everyone else around him.  He had to be in his mid-thirties now.  Though, he didn’t look it.  He was just as handsome as ever. “Aelin.  What a pleasant surprise.”

Aelin had to swallow before she could answer.  Swallow and look past that perfectly charming smile he wore. “Hamel.  What are you doing here?”

Arobynn merely smiled, stretching his arms. “You don’t know?  Rowan and I are in the midst of a business deal.”

Behind Arobynn, Rowan appeared.  He looked just the same as he always did: brooding, stoic, and pissed to hell and back.  His green eyes flicked between Aelin and Arobynn, scowl deepening.

Aelin felt the pit in her stomach grow and she swore she was going to vomit.  She did her best to remain in control of her emotions as she looked at Rowan.

“What deal, Rowan?” she asked.  Though, she already knew the answer, didn't she?

“I’m buying the land,” Arobynn answered before Rowan could. “I’ve been expanding my business, didn’t you know?”

No, she didn’t.  Because Aelin had done everything in her power to avoid anything that had to do with Hamel in the last several years.  

As though sensing her distress, Arobynn flashed another sharp smile. “I look forward to working with you again, Aelin.  Just like old times, isn’t it?”

There was nothing she could say.  She couldn’t trust herself not to yell or scream or cry or any combination of the three.  That would be showing weakness.  And she was not weak.

“I’ll have my attorney look over your offer,” Rowan said quietly, drawing Hamel’s attention again. “We’ll be in contact.”

“Good,” Arobynn said, “I’d rather see this done sooner than later.  Whitethorn.”

Without any semblance of pleasantries, Arobynn left them and returned to his car.  That stupid silver Tesla that looked like a box and had no business being out on a farm.  For all Aelin cared it could go crash in a borough and get waylaid by hay and snow.  It wasn’t until the car silently pulled away and back down that Aelin felt her own voice return.

“You’re selling?” It was more of an accusation than anything.

Rowan straightened; arms still crossed over his chest. “Yes.”

“Why?” At least her voice wasn’t shaking.  At least she still sounded somewhat in control.

“Because I have to,” Rowan replied, but he looked away from her and Aelin knew that wasn’t the truth of it. “The why doesn’t even matter Aelin, you wouldn’t understand.”

A laugh escaped her.  Of course she wouldn’t.  Because she’d only been here a few short months, she wasn’t really a part of the life here or any of where the ranch had come from.  But she’d still put her blood, sweat, and tears into the ranch.  She’d wanted to see it succeed, that’s why Rowan had even hired her as a part time trauma specialist, wasn’t it?

“I know enough about this place,” she said, “it’s a staple of the community, of honest good work that no one else does, Rowan.  I know that much.  I understand that much.  That it’s helped more people get unstuck from life than just about any other program I’ve seen.”

He only shook his head, hand running through his hair.  The silver locks fell over his brow and for a moment, for one brief moment, Aelin thought she saw a part of him that she could reconcile with.  A softer allusion of the hard contours that Rowan often displayed.

“My reasons are my own,” he said firmly.  His eyes sparked with anger as he watched her. “And it doesn’t really matter beyond that. I can't keep doing this.  And--why do you even care?  It won’t even affect you that much.  Hamel’s going to keep it as a horse ranch mostly, and agrees with the work going on.  I don't think he'd change much.  He obviously likes you, so you can do whatever you want.”

Aelin couldn’t hide her flinch.  She tucked her arms around her middle more as an effort of protection and hiding than anything else. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Please, Aelin.  You don’t need me here,” Rowan said, “this place will do well enough without me.”

“So you’re giving up?” She could only stare at him.  This wasn’t the Rowan Whitethorn she’d come to know, the one that she fought with on a daily basis.  This was someone else entirely.

“It’s none of your business, Aelin.”

“I’m a part of this ranch, aren’t I?  I’ve been here for months, and for what?”

“I never asked you to stick around.”  Rowan let out an exasperated huff. 

“He’s not a good man, Rowan,” Aelin said.  Most of the fight had gone out of her, replaced with dread and pain. “You don’t want him buying this land, your home.”

“He’s rich, what does it matter?”  Rowan pressed. “He’ll be able to do more with this place than I ever could.”

Aelin could only shake her head.  Yes, Arobynn was rich.  Rich enough that he could whatever he wanted, consequences be damned.  She tilted her head up just in time to catch a snowflake on her cheek.  The small chill was electrifying on her hot skin.  Slowly, more flakes continued to fall, fat and thick it looked like the forecast had finally chosen to be right.

“I can’t do this,” she finally said, “I’m going to check on the kids.”

She didn’t wait for Rowan to try and call her back.  She didn’t realize until she was entering the goat paddock that she had wanted him to.

…

It wasn’t until later that night as the kids were eating that Aelin had a moment to talk with Lysandra.  The snow had picked up and continued to fall throughout the afternoon driving them all inside, which after a week full of activities and being outside continually--it was a welcome break.

They were inside one of the cabins, pizza and soda spread out for the kids to enjoy.  Almost everything about the day had gone well.  If you didn’t count the Hamel matter.  The distraction and reality of what her life was spiraling towards wasn’t the best way to head into individual sessions, but Aelin had learned long ago how to compartmentalize.

Now, she was able to feel a little more relaxed as she and Lysandra were able to sit back while the kids started a terrible round of UNO.

“He’s so lucky I didn’t see him,” Lysandra said around a mouthful of pizza. “I would have kicked him in the balls then dragged his ass around from the back of a tractor, you know I would’ve.”

“I know,” Aelin assured her.

She picked at her pizza, appetite long since gone.  All she could think about was the fact that she’d seen and spoken with Hamel.  And she’d survived it.  

It was strange, being faced with a reality you thought was finally put behind you.  But that was life, wasn’t it?  You just kept learning the same lesson over and over again.  She just wondered what she was supposed to learn this time around.

“Did he say anything to Rowan?” Lysandra asked. “Does Rowan know anything?”

“I hope not,” Aelin said.  That would just be icing on the cake.  

Her past was a mess as it was.  Rehashing it and telling her side of things after someone had already been exposed to the lies of the story—well it wouldn’t do any good.

Still, Aelin didn’t want to think that Rowan knew about what had transpired.  Or if he’d think any different about her over it.  Most people did when they learned the truth and even if she was mad at him, Aelin didn’t think she could bear Rowan looking at her any different.

The story began back when she was sixteen.  Sixteen and in the throes of series equestrian training.  And she wasn’t the type to show in the dressage.  Aelin was a competitive rider in barrel racing, jumping, and the grittier events.  Her former trainer had just moved and who was to fill the position than Arobynn Hamel.

His methods were brutal and his words were cruel.  But young as she was, Aelin could only see what he could make of her.  And her parents had been none the wiser either.

Even after the drugs and borderline abuse.

Aelin shook off the memories. “It doesn’t matter if Rowan knows or not, does it?  He isn’t going to stick around.  He made that clear.”

“Are you going to stay,” Lysandra asked.  Her voice was painfully soft and Aelin had a hard time meeting her friend’s eyes.

“No.  I can’t…I can’t be around Hamel again, Lys.”  Aelin set her uneaten pizza aside. “After everything…I thought I finally had a place, you know?  That this was a good fit for me.  Even if Rowan’s an ass and doesn’t like me.  I liked the work.”

“Maybe if you talked—”

“No.” Aelin shook her head, cutting Lysandra off before she could even begin. “Rowan won’t talk it out.  He’d just sell the place faster if it meant getting rid of me.”

Lysandra sighed. “I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit.”

Aelin narrowed her eyes. “Whose side are you on?”

Lysandra didn’t answer, instead waving as Elide walked through the door, leaving a blistering trail of snow outside behind her.

“I hope it’s alright to stop by,” Elide said with a smile.  She grabbed a piece of pizza and settled between Aelin and Lysandra. “Lorcan’s still finishing up at the stables.”

“Good,” Lysandra said, moving over so Elide had plenty of space. “We need to talk sense into Aelin.”

“I’m not a miracle worker, you know,” Elide replied.  She grinned all the same and nudged Aelin’s leg with her foot. “What kind of sense are we talking?”

Aelin groaned, shaking her head.  One of the counselors took a few of the kids to the other cabin to prepare for bed.  It was nearing that time where they would all turn in.  The growing storm outside made the night feel sleepy and dark.  Not that Aelin minded.  Sometimes a lazy night was just what she needed, especially when she could curl up with a book.

“Lysandra thinks I’m being too hard on Rowan for deciding to sell the ranch,” Aelin told Elide, careful about how loud she spoke.  She didn’t want to risk upsetting the remaining kids or the other counselors.

Elide’s eyes widened at the news.

“You can’t tell—” Aelin said quickly.  She shouldn’t have even told Lysandra about Rowan’s plans.  Even if Lorcan already knew about Rowan’s decision, it was just in bad form for Aelin to be gossiping out it.

“I won’t,” Elide assured her.  “I promise.”

What Aelin had done to deserve friends like Lysandra and Elide, she didn’t know.  As she tugged on the end of her braid she didn’t know where to begin.

“I know I don’t really have a hand in this ranch or can’t tell him what to do,” Aelin said, “but I’ve put so much work into it that…”

Aelin let her words trail off.  Did it really matter what she’d done?  He obviously didn’t care enough to listen to her.  She couldn’t care.  She shouldn’t.  Because in the end, she always came out alone.

She was going to tell her friends that she was fine and it didn’t matter when the shouting started from the other cabin.

--

Back at the main house, Rowan and Aedion were settling everything in for the night.  After baking four giant pizzas for the kids (delivery drivers refused to drive all the way out to the ranch and the weather had taken a bit of a chilly turn) they settled in to watch the latest football game.  

What he didn’t expect was for Aedion to strike up a conversation.  

“You know,” Aedion said as a commercial break started, “I’ve never seen a place like this ranch before, it’s pretty remarkable what you’ve done.”

Rowan really didn’t know if that was true.  All he’d done was come in after his grandparents and parents established everything for him.  The last few years it felt like he’d barely been treading water.  Until the last few months when Aelin had swept in with her binders and her plans and damned conspiratorial smile.

“I haven’t done much,” Rowan replied.  Mostly kept everything afloat as best he could. “It’s mostly been Aelin bringing things back to life.”

It really was an apt description of the woman.  She was vibrant in the way she approached everything she did.  Never did she let anything pass by that was half-hearted or untended.  Rather, she made sure it was taken care of properly.  It was probably what made the fall season so successful.  No…no probably about it, it was what made the season one of the best in several years.

“She does tend to do that, doesn't she?” Aedion laughed. “It’s annoying as hell, because then she thinks she’s always right.  Which, I mean, technically she is always right, but she can’t know that.  She’d be insufferable if we told her.”

Rowan shook his head in agreement.  Though, if he thought about it, Aelin had enough confidence that even if she were wrong about something she would make things work in the end.  She had the faith and the sheer force of will to see something accomplished that an obstacle was merely a stepping stone to what she wanted.

“So,” Rowan began, a thought occurring to him as he thought about his own understanding of Aelin. “How do you know Aelin?  I never got that story?”

That earned him an amused look from Aedion who sat up straighter.

“She’s an Ashryver, you know,” Aedion said slowly, “as in Rhoe and Evalin Ashryver Galathyinius.”

Rowan froze at the pronouncement and slowly, painful understanding washed over him. “What?”

In the chair across from him, Aedion shook his head, blond hair falling in his face.  

“Doesn’t surprise me that you didn’t know,” Aedion chuckled wryly. “She doesn’t use her mom’s name very much, considering...But yeah.  Ashryver-Galathynius.  We’re cousins, were raised together through just about anything.  I was there in all of Aelin’s training when she really got into the horse scene.  She was the national champion in racing and show three years in a row until the accident.”

Rowan could only stare blankly at Aedion.  He didn’t know how he’d missed the similarities, hell, their eyes were even the same.  Why wouldn’t Aelin say anything?  Especially when he had given her so much crap about being a city girl.  She could have shut him up without any effort.

Though, at Aedion’s mention of an accident, he remembered something vaguely happening in the world of showing and competition.  That side of the horse world was something he’d never stayed completely caught up in.  Especially not years ago when he’d been so busy with taking the ranch over.

“She was nineteen, it was going to be her fourth year in a row of winning that championship,” Aedion explained, “and she’d put herself through hell for it.  She kept herself in the best shape, hardly ate.  Was always training.  Her trainer—” a sour look flashed over Aedion’s face— “her trainer wouldn’t leave well enough alone and always pushed her further than anyone should go, not at that age.  It was never proven, but I’m pretty sure they slipped her drugs and the horse too because they were racing barrels which is Aelin’s best event and next thing you know the horse gets spooked and Aelin goes flying.”

Aedion paused, running a hand over his jaw as he stared into the fireplace. “It’s a miracle she wasn’t paralyzed.  Or worse.  Arobynn never even got a slap on the wrist for it.”

Rowan’s gut churned in a sickening way.  “Arobynn Hamel?”

The dark look in Aedion’s eyes was answer enough.

Rowan remembered all the times in the last several months of how he’d berated Aelin for her lack of knowledge on a ranch, how she shied away from the horses.  He’d accused her of so many things that he just hadn’t known about.

“She recovered eventually,” Aedion said, “but I don’t think she was ever the same.  She never got on a horse again after that.  But she volunteered a lot at various stables back in Terrasen or at those camps for kids with autism, y’know?  Kinda like what you do here.  And then she got her degree and has talked about applying for a doctorate.  Damn.  She was always going to become something.”

“I didn’t know, about her past, I mean,” Rowan murmured.  His fingers tightened on the drink in his hand, long forgotten in the conversation.

“It’s why she tends to drop her mom’s name,” Aedion said, he shot Rowan a wry smile. “She doesn’t want that to be all people associate with her.  Her parents love her, don’t get me wrong, but they always put so much pressure on her.  Rhoe and Evalin practically raised me too and I got the same treatment.  The Ashryvers aren’t known for weakness.”

If there was anything Rowan had learned in the past week, it was the truth of that sentence.  Aelin was so much more than the city girl he’d first thought her to be.  Everything she had done in her time on the ranch had been to help the kids and families that came through.  She had worked so hard to turn this place into a functioning therapy ranch and she’d done a damn good job at it.

And he’d gone on to sell the ranch.

Not that he really owed the explanation to anyone.  Sellene was guilt-tripping him enough as it was.  But he’d found the last few months to be more bearable.  Somehow.  Impossibly.  Even with Aelin being as difficult as she was sometimes.  But that was what he liked about her.  She challenged him.  She made plans and got things done.  She was fearless.

And he’d gone on to sell the ranch.

The one place she’d said made her feel like she was coming home.

“I need to--” Rowan began, already reaching for his phone so that he could call her.

He didn’t get far though when the front door opened with a loud thud.  Rowan was on his feet in an instant, for some reason thinking it would be Aelin.  Instead, it was Lysandra and Elide with a very distraught Evangeline.  The young girl had tears streaming down her cheeks and snow was still melting in her hair from the storm raging outside.

“What happened?” Rowan demanded, already sensing the trouble afoot.

Evangeline shrunk back into Lysandra, shaking slightly.  Rowan doubted it was from the chill.  He cursed himself for adding to the girl's distress.  If he remembered correctly, Evangeline was in between foster homes as the last place was unsuitable.  That scar on her cheek was fresh enough that Rowan could guess what unsuitable meant.

He softened his voice. “Is everyone alright?”

Evangeline squeaked, her hair falling in her face.  Behind her, Lysandra made a soothing sound as she gently brushed Evie’s hair back.  Her glare cut right into Rowan making it clear what she thought about him.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Lysandra said, “you’re not in trouble.  Just tell Rowan what happened.”

Evangeline sniffed loudly and nodded. “It was Luca.  He and Derek got in a fight when we were playing a game and Luca left and I told him not to but—” Evangeline forced a shuddering breath “—but he left anyway out in the snow.  So I went and got Aelin and Lysandra.”

“Aelin went out looking for him,” Lysandra finished quietly.  She gave Evangeline’s shoulder a tight squeeze.  “But it’s turning into a blizzard out there, I don’t know how far either of them will get.  We left one of the other counselors to keep an eye on the rest of the kids.”

All Rowan could register in that moment was Aelin is out in the blizzard.  It took his remembering that they were all looking to him for answers for him to snap to attention.  He turned to Elide.

“Lorcan?” He asked.

“Finishing up in the stables,” Elide said, “he’s probably still there.  And probably let her take a horse.”

Rowan doubted that.  Even if Lorcan wasn’t fond of Aelin, he wouldn’t let her go out in this weather.

“Try calling him,” Rowan said, “see what he knows.”

When Elide nodded and stepped away, he looked back at Evangeline who was still shaking against Lysandra.

“It’s alright, Evangeline,” he said, “you did the right thing by letting us know what happened.  Are you still cold?”

“N-no,” the girl stuttered softly.

Rowan held out a hand to her anyway. “Come have a seat by the fire, I’ve got hot chocolate in the kitchen too.”

Hesitantly, Evangeline accepted his offer.  He got her settled in the chair he’d vacated and found one of the many fleece blankets Aelin had left lying around.  After wrapping her up, Aedion had his phone out and played a Disney movie to distract the girl.

The adults huddled together in the kitchen while Rowan readied the promised hot chocolate.

“Lorcan said that Aelin took off on one of the mares,” Elide said quietly.  She still held her phone to her ear, the call with Lorcan active. “He wants to know if he should go after her.”

“I’ll come out to the stables now, have him wait for me,” Rowan replied.  He pulled a freshly heated mug from the microwave and dumped in a cocoa packet.  It wasn’t the best but it’s do in a pinch.  Besides, knowing that Aelin spent so much time up here there was bound to be whipped cream in the fridge and marshmallows in a cabinet.  “I’ll ride out with him.”

Lysandra took the mug from him. “Then go.  I’ll finish this.  I don’t know about riding horses.”

Rowan looked at Aedion who shrugged.

“I mean,” the other man said, “I know how to stay on.”

“Good enough,” Rowan said.  He turned to Elide next. 

“I’ll wait at the barn with blankets and flashing lights,” she said before he could get a word out. “Now let's go, the snow is only going to get worse.”

It was more than enough to kick the rest of them into action.

After finding all the spare coats, socks, and blankets they could, they piled into Rowan’s truck and made the quick trip across the drive to the stables.  All Rowan could focus on was the snow.

It no longer fell in thick innocuous fluff, rather it had turned to tiny flecks of ice that could cut skin.  The heavy wind didn’t help anything either.  The weather had quickly dissolved from mediocre to abysmal in the span of an hour.  The snow was no longer sticking to the ground, instead billowing in icy white clouds all around them.  Any semblance of being on an actual road was lost.

Rowan tried not to let it bother him.  He tried to remind himself that Luca wouldn’t get far in this weather.  Aelin was an experienced rider…even if she hadn’t been on a horse in nearly ten years.  His gut still churned in trepidation and a mild sense of panic set his heart to racing.  It was fine.

They reached the barn to find the side door open and Lorcan’s outline waiting with two horses already geared up and ready.  

Piling from the truck, Rowan threw on his coat and grabbed the thick goose down parka for when they found Luca.  He wrapped a scarf around his face as best he could to protect from the wind.

Aedion had the same idea.  He’d also found a hand to pull down over his hair and ears.

“No,” Lorcan said as soon as he saw Elide’s smaller form emerge from around the truck. “Absolutely not.  Go back to the main house.”

Had her arms not been full of blankets and spare coats, Rowan expected Elide would have flipped her boyfriend off.

“Make me.” She gave him a look that offered no room for argument and slipped into the stables.

Lorcan turned to Rowan, fury clearly written in his face.

“She’s going to stay back and keep the lights on for when we make our way back,” Rowan told him.  “She’ll be fine.”

In any other situation, Rowan was sure Lorcan would have argued further.  Instead, he passed off the reins to Goldryn.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” he said.  He then turned to Aedion to offer the other horse.  Rowan had no doubt a third was already saddled and bridled just inside the doors.

Rowan made no promises as to what sort of decisions he would be making.  He merely got one foot in the stirrups and hauled himself up.  They’d wasted enough time and he wanted to get out there and find both Aelin and Luca.

“Rowan!” 

He turned to see Elide running towards him.  She waved an object in one hand, a flashlight.

“Phones will be useless,” she explained. “And I can’t find any walkie-talkies.  Morse code, yeah?”

Smart.  He accepted the light and clicked it on and off again. “Thanks.”

“Just find them.” Her dark eyes were pleading but nothing else about her smaller stature betrayed any of her worry.  When Rowan nodded in assurance, she turned back to the stables.  Rowan tucked the flashlight into the front of his coat before finally turning towards the direction he thought Luca would have gone from the cabins.

As the wind picked up and sent another cloud of snow to wash over them, Rowan tensed for a moment before urging Goldryn on.  They had some ground to cover before they made it to the cabins.  But it had been at least twenty minutes since Luca had run off.  Even with the terrible weather, a determined kid on the run could do a lot of damage.

“C’mon girl,” Rowan called, nudging Goldryn into a canter.

He knew this land better than anyone.  And he wouldn’t let anything happen to Luca or Aelin if he could help it.

…

Ice cut into Aelin’s skin as she and Farasha continued through the snow.  She hadn’t thought to grab a scarf or face covering, hadn’t thought to find a thicker coat.  The best she’d grabbed was a thin lap blanket.  All she’d heard was that Luca ran off into the storm after an argument with one of the other kids.  She would have thought about strangling Luca if she weren’t so worried about him.

“Luca!” she called out, wincing at the cold wind nearly choking her own voice.

She hadn’t even let her own panic take over at the thought of riding again.  She’d saddled up the large horse in record time and told Lorcan to ready two other horses for him and Rowan to come search with her.  It hadn’t even occurred to her that Rowan may not come, may not care as much as she did.  But even if she was pissed off at him, she couldn’t imagine that he would stand idly by when a kid was caught out here in the weather.

Her fingers were stiff as she gripped the reins, grateful at least for that bit of distraction.  It had been ages since she’d been on a horse and ridden.  After breaking her back in a nasty fall and dealing with the repercussions from Hamel, she had sworn she would never get on another horse.  She had sworn she would never return to this life.  But here she was because all she wanted to do was help the kids who needed it.

She shuddered and not just from the cold.

The terrain wasn’t terrible, even with the way the rolling snow covered the ground and how dark the night had gotten.  Even in the last seven months Aelin had grown used to the land.  She’d spent hours walking, running, and just enjoying the ranch.  Between walks with the kids she worked with or helping with moving the small herd of goats from pasture to pasture—Aelin felt like she knew the ranch as well as anyone.

Yet, as the wind continued to howl and the snow beat relentlessly against her side, Aelin had the sickening feeling she was getting lost.  She fumbled for her phone and pulled up the flashlight.  It hardly made a difference, in fact, the light was swallowed up almost as soon as it left the phone.

Aelin bit her lip to keep from cursing.  She didn’t want any more cold air in her mouth finding its way down into her lungs.

How long had she been out here?  An hour?  Two?  How long would Luca last with just his pajamas and simple coat?  

Beneath her, Farasha grunted.  It would only be a matter of time before the horse had had enough and would insist on turning back.

With numb fingers, Aelin patted the horse’s neck.  They would find Luca.  They had to.

The only logical direction Luca could go from the cabins was the main house.  But if he were too embarrassed or upset, he may just go in the opposite direction.  But all there would be was darkness.  Empty and heavy.  Or…or maybe…

Aelin thought back to the first day Luca had arrived and when she’d showed him the old homestead.  It was an old cabin that Rowan’s great-grandfather had first lived in upon buying the land.  She’d told Luca the same story Rowan had told her: with hardly any money his great-grandparents made that tiny cabin a home until they could till the land and make a living come spring.  They’d survived against all odds and used it as a sign of a new beginning.

Spurring Farasha on, Aelin took off for the cabin.  Luca had been enthralled by the story, asking question after question, he even asked to visit the cabin a second and third time.  

Okay, okay, okay. It was the only thing Aelin could think that wouldn’t send her into a different sort of plummeting thoughts.  

Even as the icy wind and sharp snow continued their assault, she told herself that everything was okay.

Aelin was beginning to lose hope, letting the soul wrenching feel of dread rise up within her.  It had been too long.  There was no sign of the cabin nor of Luca.  

This was her fault.  It was all her fault.

A flicker in the distance caught her attention.  A shadow mingling with the already thickly cloying shadows and manipulations of the storm.

“Luca!” Aelin yelled.  As Farasha continued diligently on, the small old cabin came into view and there, trekking towards it was a small hunkered shape. “Luca!”

The shape stopped and Aelin heard a voice in the wind.  Hope rose within her, beating against the dread and panic.

“Hold on!”  Sensing her urgency, Farasha pressed on, though Aelin could tell it was with reluctance.  

It took several agonizing minutes to move the few yards closer to the cabin but they made it.  And there, trying desperately to reach the old cabin was Luca.

Aelin let out a string of curses as she slid off of Farasha.  She gripped the lap blanket in one hand, keeping it close as she ran to Luca.  The boy couldn’t reach out to her, his arms wrapped tight around him.  His coat was too thin for this weather, his old boots unlaced.  Aelin swore his skin was blue, not just his lips.

“A-a-aelin?” he stuttered, the sound of her name was too soft from his mouth.

Aelin threw the blanket around him.  She pulled him against her and wrapped her arms around his middle as she tried to rub warmth into his limbs.

“What were you thinking?” she asked, unable to curb her own panic.  “Luca.  Luca.  Luca.”

The boy trembled against her.  He was trying to talk, to apologize, but Aelin kept him tugged against him so tight his words were muffled.

Ice stung Aelin’s eyes as she pulled away and knelt before him.

“Are you okay?” she asked, speaking over the sound of the wind.

He nodded even as his body still shook.  Hell.  

Aelin drew Luca back against her side. “It’s going to be fine.  I’ve got Farasha and we’re going to get back to the house.  Everything’s fine.”

She wasted no time in leading Luca to the horse.  She boosted him up into the saddle, helping him scoot as far up as he could.  Aelin braced herself as she scrambled up on the horse behind him.  The motion wasn’t as smooth as it could have been.  Combined with lack of practice, cold, and, admittedly, fear, Aelin didn’t let it bother her.

Once settled, she pulled Luca against her chest and reached for the reins.

“We’re alright,” she told him.  What else could she say?  “We’re going to go back to the house and get you warmed up.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Luca chattered. “I knew I shouldn’t have left.”

Aelin shushed him gently. “It’s okay.  Everything’s okay.”

Luca trembled against her chest but fell quiet as he tucked his face into the blanket, she’d given him.  The wind had picked up and snow swirled around them.  Aelin squinted, trying to keep ice from pricking her eyes.  It only made tears start to well and track down her cheeks.  In a matter of seconds, she could feel her skin freeze.  Aelin dared not blink for fear of her eyes freezing shut.  Instead, she tapped her heels against Farasha’s side.

Even with the added load of Luca, the horse surged forward.  Aelin had no idea if they were headed in the right direction.  All she could do was hope that the horse had a better sense of where they were than she.  But with how dark the night had fallen and the increased snowfall, Aelin couldn’t help the panic welling within her.  She had found Luca, sure, but that was only half the problem.  

Now they had to trek back through the storm to the stables.  Aelin guided Farasha as best she could, but the sheets of snow that swirled around them certainly didn’t help.

To ease her own worry, she wrapped an arm around Luca, keeping him close.  He was still conscious, which was good.  She tried asking him questions to make sure he stayed that way but after a few rounds of feeling like her throat was freezing and Luca’s continued shudders--she stopped.  

Come on, she thought to herself.  She was strong enough to do this.  Strong enough to get Luca back safely.  Even if no one else thought much of her--she could see this through.

And then what?  She’d be out of a job.  Likely forced to move back to the city and she didn’t want that.  She didn’t want to stay here either if what Rowan said was true.

If Arobynn Hamel took over the ranch Aelin knew she couldn’t stay.  Hamel was cruel to say the least.  Vindictive, arrogant, abusive.  He had pushed Aelin beyond her limits and was the reason her life had changed forever.

She wanted to hate Rowan for what he had planned.  But how could he have known?  She never talked about her past as it was.  It wasn’t even any of his business if she did leave.

Damn him.  Damn him for giving up on this place in the first place.  And damn him for making her think that she almost had a home here.

A shiver rolled through Aelin’s body.  How could she still feel the cold?  Everything was numb at this point.  She didn’t even know how she could remain upright in the saddle, let alone hold the reins.  But the cold had settled in so deep that it was simply an extension of who she was now.

They passed by a fence post that Aelin didn’t recognize.  Or did she?  Was it the one along the easter paddock?  That meant they were near the stables right?  

The top of the post only had a thin layer of snow on top, the barbed wire extending along to the next post already had icicles forming.

As if sensing her unease, Farasha moved a little faster.  But, really, there wasn’t much the horse could do.  Not in these conditions.

Aelin tilted her face up to the sky, as though that would do anything.  All she could see was the mass of snow and ice continuing to fall.  The gray sky overhead a mass of terror and pure power.  Never had she felt so insignificant until that moment.  She was a small speck in comparison to the universe overhead.  

She dropped her head again and stared forward, willing herself to see some chance of hope.

There was nothing.  Nothing but white.  Nothing but gray.  Nothing but--

A flash of light.

Aelin straightened in the saddle and stared at where she’d seen the flash.  She hadn’t imagined it.  She couldn’t have.

There it was again!

A quick flash followed by a longer one.  The flashes continued in somewhat the same manner, like morse code.  

Aelin’s fingers were too stiff to try for her phone.  She would have dropped it before managing to get it unlocked.  All she could do was guide Farasha towards the light.  Aelin had never learned morse code beyond SOS.  But she’d been out on this land plenty of times and she knew there weren’t any strange flashing lights around.  And these flashes seemed too deliberate in any case.

It was the only reassurance she could hold on to.  That and keeping Luca in one arm.

Another few minutes passed on until Aelin could hear a voice on the wind.  She didn’t register it at first, but it was familiar.  The shout came again; long and steady.

“Luca!  Aelin!”  Their names were drawn out into multiple syllables but it was someone shouting for them.

Not just someone.  Aelin would have recognized that voice anywhere.

The flashlight beam grew stronger the closer they got and Aelin could soon make out a shape sitting astride a horse.  

“Rowan,” she whispered, more to herself than anything.  Because who else could it be. “Rowan!”

It was only a minute later that had Goldryn loping toward them with Rowan.  He still had the flashlight in one hand, beaming brightly against the night.

“Aelin!” he yelled.  He drew in close, close enough to grab her shoulder.

The flashlight helped illuminate him enough that Aelin could see the taut lines of his face, his eyes wide in panic.  The scarf around his lower face had fallen away and snow was building up in the creases.  But it was him.  He was here, staring at her like she was the greatest damn thing he’d ever seen.

“We’re fine,” she said, loud over the storm. “But we need to get Luca warmed up.”

Rowan dropped his gaze to the boy who was still pressed against Aelin’s chest.

“Let's go,” he said, “it’s not that far.”

Aelin could only nod as he turned Goldryn and led the way to the stables.  Farasha, blessedly brilliant beast that she was, followed without any prompting.  

The tightness in Aelin’s chest loosened with each step made.  They had made it.  It really was going to be alright.

Quicker than Aelin realized, the stables came into view.  Bright light from the floodlights broke through the storm and she could see the doors were cracked open just a bit.  Two other horses were by the doors being tended to.  It took Aelin several moments to realize it was Lorcan and Aedion waiting there.  They soon disappeared into the barn, taking the two horses with them.  

When Rowan and Aelin reached the stable doors, both men had returned.  Lorcan wasted not time in coming to Aelin’s side.  He grabbed Luca from the saddle, hauling the boy into his arms and taking him inside.  Aelin could only stare after.  She had no idea if she could move, let alone blink.

It wasn’t until Rowan appeared in her line of sight that she did blink, miraculously without frozen eyes.  She had no idea when he’d gotten off his horse but here he was right beside her.  He reached out, one hand going to her side as he gently tugged her off of Farasha.

She fell into him.  It was an accident, really.  But her body was still numb and she might have been in shock, but she went tumbling off of the saddle in as inelegant a dismount as could be imagined.  Rowan’s arms stayed around her, keeping them both upright.

“I got you,” he murmured into her ear.  He kept a firm hold on her as she slowly regained her balance.

Somehow, he still had warmth to share.  As he kept her tight in his grasp, Aelin could practically feel her own body leeching it off of him.  She was desperate to feel anything other than the raging cold threatening to freeze her entire body.  

Lorcan appeared in another minute and helped with Farasha, Aedion took control of Goldryn.

Rowan led Aelin into the stables that were already infinitely warmer than the storm outside.  There seated on a few bales of hay was Elide, well at work with getting Luca wrapped in a fresh blanket and tugging a hat over his head.

“You’re half frozen,” Rowan said.  He kept walking Aelin away from the opened doors of the stables.  “What the hell were you thinking?”

Aelin could only stare at him.  

The familiar scowl was in place and his brow was furrowed as he worked to get her out of her wet coat.  A thin and useless coat, he pointed out.  He replaced it by draping a thicker one over her shoulders, holding it in place when she didn’t take it herself.

All she could do was stare at him.  He had come for her.  He had gone out into that storm and came to find her.  Luca too.  But with the way he was staring at her and brushing the messy strands of hair from her face--all Aelin could really process was that he was here for her.

“You’re fussing,” she managed to whisper.

“Of course I’m fussing,” he said, incredulity spreading across his face. “Aelin, you’re freezing.”

Of course she was.  She’d spent the better part of an hour (more?) searching through a blizzard on a horse looking for Luca.  Her entire body shook with cold and a mild panic of what she’d just accomplished.

Rowan tugged the coat tighter around her as he kept talking.  But Aelin couldn’t hear what he was going on about.  A shrill ringing started in her ears blocking almost everything else out.  And then the shivers wouldn’t stop.  Her entire body was shaking and it was all she could do to stay on her own two feet before she pitched forward straight into Rowan, vision going black.

…

When Aelin woke, she found herself surrounded by a thick warmth that engulfed her.  It was far welcome from the dreams of freezing snow and wind that she’d had all night.  Grateful for the thick blankets tucked all around her, Aelin snuggled in deeper, breathing in a familiar scent of pine.

Her eyes snapped open with sudden awareness.

She wasn’t in her own bed.  

Pain lanced through her head as she tried sitting up.  The sheer weight of the blankets piled on top of her was enough to keep her down though, for at least a minute longer.

What the hell had happened?  Her body ached as though she’d run a marathon and she was certain her toes were frozen solid and—

And there had been the blizzard.  And Luca.  And she’d gotten on a horse and rose out into a blizzard to find him.

That thought alone spurred her on.  She shoved the thick quilts aside, pausing only at the patchwork of the top blanket that was a blend of greens and silvers in a pattern she couldn’t quite make out, but it was handmade.  She could tell that much.

Aelin then realized that she was in Rowan’s room.  If not for the scent of pine and the obvious splashes of green throughout the decoration, then the picture on the bedside table.  It was of a boy no more than ten with a shock of silver hair standing on a dock that overlooked a lake.  In one hand he held up a fishing line with a giant fish dangling from the hook.  Beside him was an older man, his father, who had a proud grin on his face as he wrapped an arm around the boy.  And there was another picture of a woman with tan skin and brilliant green eyes smiling down at a bundled baby in her arms.

She was in Rowan’s room.

The thought shocked her enough that she remained seated on the edge of the bed right up until the door opened.  Mind still reeling, Aelin could only watch as Rowan himself slowly stepped into the room.

He stopped immediately upon seeing her awake and sitting up.  Dressed in his usual attire of jeans and flannel she almost would have guessed she hadn’t been asleep that long.  If it hadn’t been for his disheveled hair or the stubble on his chin and cheeks.

“You should be asleep,” Rowan said.  He held a cup of water in one hand and slowly walked it over to her, setting it on the bedside table she’d just been examining.

“I was,” Aelin replied, even with the short words her voice rasped with disuse and exhaustion. 

Rowan who now stood just before her, his knees brushing hers, reached out and brushed a few messy strands of hair from her face.  His fingers were warm against her skin and the calluses rough as they scraped gently along her cheek.  The expression in his eyes held something Aelin wasn’t sure how to read.  She’d thought she’d gotten decent enough at interpreting Rowan that it unsettled her just a bit.  

Instead of the depthless sea of green she was so accustomed to, he was now guarded and hesitant.  Compared to his usual assurance and confidence--Aelin was at a loss of what to say.

“Drink this,” Rowan said, filling the silence.  He pushed the glass of water into her hands along with a few pain pills and the granola bar. “And eat.  The pills will settle better with something in your stomach.”

Aelin set the items aside. “I’m fine.”

“Aelin.”

The warning in his voice had Aelin’s hackles rising.  She set her jaw and glared right back at him.

“I’m fine.” 

They stared at each other, neither budging.  And they could sit there all day for all Aelin was concerned.  She wasn’t sure how long she’d been asleep or of any of the other details of her passing out, but she did know she was still pissed Rowan and she would hold out for as long as--

“Please,” Rowan said, voice uncharacteristically soft, “just eat something.”

The breath stilled in Aelin’s lungs.  When had she ever heard him say please?  It was such a strange word coming from him that Aelin automatically reached for the granola bar and unwrapped it.  She took a few bites before swallowing the pain pills with some of the water.

“Happy?” she asked, placing the water back on the bedside table.

Rowan, as expected, remained silent.  When he turned aways from her, Aelin thought he was going to give her some peace and quiet, but he was only putting a little distance between them. Which was probably for the best considering Aelin was having a difficult time breathing normally when he was so close.  She would blame it on nearly getting hypothermia.  That was it.

“Do you have any idea how stupid it was for you to go out like you did?” he demanded.  He’d stepped back closer to the window, pale light filtering through the thin curtains to illuminate him enough that Aelin could better see the outlines of his face and the stiff way he held himself.

“I was trying to find Luca,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “What was I supposed to do?”

“Get help,” Rowan said, “it was a blizzard Aelin, what if something had happened?”

“Exactly.”  She rose to her feet, blinking back the fuzzy blackness along the edge of her vision.  She wasn’t going to let him berate her. “I couldn’t let something happen to Luca.  He was my responsibility.  It’s a miracle I found him at all.”

Aelin waited expectantly for him to say something else.  To continue to tell her how stupid she was, how upset he was.  That she’d made mistake after mistake.

But he didn’t.

Rowan stood before her, hands on his hips and lips pressed tight together.  Silent.

“I wasn’t going to leave him,” Aelin said, and she was shocked to find emotion beginning to clog her throat. “I couldn’t.”

And then Rowan did the absolute last thing she expected.  He hugged her.

One moment he was two feet away looking as mad as she’d ever seen him, the next he was pulling her into a bone crushing hug.  His arms wound around her, one hand buried in her hair to keep her close.  It took Aelin a few seconds to reorient herself but she carefully returned the hug.

Several different questions and emotions swam through Aelin’s head.  Most of which dealt with the variety that Rowan was actually displaying affection of one sort or another.  He wasn’t a stone wall of silence in that moment but someone who cared.  At least, that was how she chose to interpret this display.

“It’s alright,” she found herself murmuring. “Everything’s fine.”

She realized belatedly that the anger she’d felt rolling off of him was actually fear.  That he’d been scared for her.  She marveled at it really, that Rowan Whitethorn would be worried about her.  

Aelin gently eased back, just enough that she could look at him with a bit more clarity.  Her entire body was still brimming with exhaustion, she could feel her own tiredness thudding through her bones with every beat of her heart.  It was only a small, dull ache though in comparison with the unyielding depths of Rowan’s dark eyes.

She didn’t go far though.  The warmth radiating off of him was welcome, feeling almost as though she were back in bed and wrapped in the many blankets.  Being so close to him was strange, different.  She’d never allowed herself to get so close to him before that now, being held by him--she couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so safe and secure.

“Sorry,” Rowan said, though he didn’t release her entirely as one hand trailed softly along her side.

Not knowing how to navigate any of this--Aelin avoided a direct response.

“How’s Luca?” she asked.

“Fine,” Rowan said, “he woke up twenty minutes ago and is perfectly fine.”

“Good,” she said, genuine relief flooding her. “That’s good.”

“We had him and Evangeline stay in the house, Evie stayed in your room,” Rowan went on to explain. “Because the weather was so bad, Lorcan and Elide stayed the night too.  They’re with the rest of the kids down at the cabins.”

“Rowan, I,” Aelin began, knowing that she did at least owe him a little of an apology.  In part for her recklessness (though they would both know she wasn’t really sorry) and for the way she acted after learning about Hamel. 

“Don’t,” he said, quick to cut her off.  His fingers dug into her sides grounding her right where they stood. “You don’t need to say anything.”

“I’m sorry,” she said anyways, he gave her an exasperated sort of look that made her smile. “Not about Luca, I stand by going after him, but Hamel.  There’s more to that than I’ve told anyone.”

Rowan cleared his throat, eyes flicking away for a brief moment before resettling on her. “Aedion might have told me a little about that.  And about…”

He trailed off when Aelin turned away.  She didn’t know why she did, why she wanted to ignore her past and lock it back up again where no one, not even she, could find it.  But she did.  Because she knew how it sounded, how it looked.  The spoiled rich girl from the good background with everything at her beck and call falls into a mess of drug use.  Even if she hadn’t known about it.

When the backs of her knees hit the bed, Aelin collapsed onto the mattress.  She was exhausted anyways and really just wanted to sink back into the blankets and fall asleep.  Maybe pretend none of this had ever happened.

“I ended the deal with Hamel,” Rowan said.  “Literally just got off the phone with him to tell him I wasn’t selling anymore.”

Aelin felt her jaw fall open as she stared up at him. “You what?”

If there was anything he could have said to shock her, that was it.

“I’m not selling,” Rowan repeated.  He looked as serious as he ever did, not a fleck of emotion on his face.  It was a strange beauty he held, Aelin thought at that moment.  The hard planes of his face, his sharp jawline, and the full curve of his lips—all of it combined together in such a way that nearly stole her breath away.

“Why not?” she whispered. “Not to him or not at all?”

He swallowed, throat bobbing.  Aelin thought it curious, why would he care about this so much to end the deal that, as he’d said, would bring in a great deal of money?  And why would he care enough to not want to talk about it further?

“No deal at all,” Rowan said, “my attorney’s processing a formal citation for it now.”

“Why?” she asked again.  Why did she care so much?  Was it her own love for this ranch that has somehow developed over these brief few months?  Was it no more than the desire to know that Hamel was getting screwed over? 

This time when he came towards her, Aelin didn’t move.  She only watched as he slowly drew closer until once again, his knees knocked against hers.  He hovered over her, his broad frame blocking out the light from the window.  But he wasn’t imposing, wasn’t a cruel thing engulfing her.  It was just Rowan.

“I couldn’t do that to you,” he said. The admission sent shivers running along her arms, racing down her spine. “Not after, everything.”

“Everything,” Aelin repeated, trying hard to ignore the way her heart was hammering in her chest and how her stomach dipped at the low timbre of his voice.  “It was the binder, wasn’t it?”

She couldn’t help the teasing words.  The binder that had outlined this week of kids coming to the ranch had included a brief plan of continued action to take on seeing more progress made for various revenue opportunities for the ranch.  Really, Aelin hadn’t expected Rowan would read much into it.

Rowan snorted a soft laugh, head tilting up as though he were looking to the heavens for help.

“Yeah, I guess that was it.” His words weren’t convincing.  Not even in the slightest.  Especially not when Aelin saw that small spark in his eyes, the way he was so close yet still so far.  And Aelin, despite everything that had happened, wanted him closer.  Rowan, she knew, was too chivalrous and wouldn’t do anything to push her over whatever line they were toeing.

She reached up, fingers grazing the hem of his shirt, the fabric soft against her skin.  

“I told you it was—” Aelin never had the chance to finish teasing him further when he swept in to kiss her.

It was a soft brush of his lips against hers, barely anything at all.  And still it made her breath catch, caused goosebumps to race over her skin.  She arched into him, eagerly seeking out of his touch.  She couldn’t remember the last time someone had made her feel so wild in her own skin.

Rowan cupped her cheek with one hand as he drew her closer. The deepening kiss nearly drowned her.  He paused only once, hovering before her in a silent question.  Aelin responded by fisting her fingers in his shirt and dragging him to her.  His lips turned insistent against hers, drawing a small sound from her throat.

In all her time at the ranch, Aelin had never known Rowan to be so gentle or careful.  But the way he treated her as though she were something to be cherished, something to be loved—it had her heart seizing in her throat.  

She wanted more, needed more, and given the way Rowan’s hands ran through her hair and down her sides she knew he did too.

Which, of course, was when a soft knock came at the bedroom door.

“Aelin?”  It was Lysandra come to check on her.

She and Rowan broke apart, putting just enough distance between them.  There was no guilt or regret in Rowan’s eyes, rather a promise just for her.

Aelin straightened, adjusting her mussed shirt.  “Come in.”  She reached for the half-eaten granola bar and started to finish it off, just so she could have something to do with her hands and maybe detract from what she and Rowan had been up to.

The look on Lysandra’s face said she wasn’t convinced.  She raised a brow, fixing her look solely on Rowan before turning to Aelin.

“I told him not to bother you,” she said.

“I was already awake,” Aelin said honestly.  

Lysandra hummed, her mouth curving into a smirk. “Sure.  Well, there’s a real breakfast downstairs.  And Luca wants to thank-you in person for finding him.”

“Thanks, Lys,” Aelin said.

Her friend waited a moment longer before turning to leave.  She left the door open behind her.

Aelin waited until Lysandra disappeared down the stairs before she rose to her feet.  She was tired and still a bit achy but she knew that if she and Rowan remained up here any longer it would only result in an embarrassing call out.  That or Aedion would be sent to collect them.  And for her cousin's health and Rowan’s own sanity, Aelin thought it best not to avoid the inevitable.

Automatically, she reached out for Rowan and took her hand in his.  She laced their fingers together and gave him a small squeeze.

“I never did thank-you,” she said, stepping closer to him, willing to snatch just one more moment.

Rowan arched a brow. “For what?”

“You came to find me,” she said, “even after everything.”

His face softened and Rowan brought their clasped hands up between them, brushing his lips across her knuckles.

“I’ll always come if you need me,” he promised.

Aelin smiled, unable to help it.  For the first time in ages, she felt a small bit of joy begin to kindle deep in her chest.  Where once it might have scared her, now it was a welcome feeling, one that she would keep close deep within her.

“C’mon, buzzard, before she sends Aedion up to get us.”  She tugged him to the door with her so they could join the fray awaiting downstairs for them.

And over the next few days, Aelin wouldn’t know what the future would bring.  She didn’t know if anything would happen between her and Rowan or if this was some strange moment shared together.  She didn’t even know what would happen with her career.

What she did know was that she wanted to fight for it, whatever may come.

…

Epilogue—Six Months Later

It was the howling of a dog that woke him at six in the morning, not his usual alarm.  At first, Rowan was keen to ignore it and instead try to fall back asleep.  But the dog howled again, mostly out of need for attention than anything else.  He rolled over in bed, one arm reaching out to the warm body beside him.

“Your child is calling,” he grumbled.

Aelin cursed from where she was tangled in the blankets. “You’re the one that bought her.”

Indeed, Rowan had purchased the dog that let out another howl outside.  He’d figured if he were going to keep the ranch, they should have a dog.  What he hadn’t planned on was the little demon to end up being almost exactly like Aelin.  He should have known.

Snorting a laugh, Rowan tugged her closer, ignoring the way Aelin’s blonde hair was splayed out messily, nearly engulfing him.  He wrapped a hand around her waist, keeping her close.  She was soft against him; curves and angles fitting perfectly with him.  No matter how many times they woke like this, he didn’t think he’d ever get used to it.

Aelin rolled over in his arms so they were face to face and she could hook her leg over his hip.  Already she had one hand buried in his hair as she settled down again.  Rowan cracked an eye open to watch her.

Eyes closed and a look of contentment on her soft features, Aelin still remained the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.  The nightgown she wore was a poor excuse for covering.  The thin straps had fallen down her shoulders and left her chest almost perfectly exposed.  The hemline rode up far along her thighs.  And he was well aware she wasn’t wearing underwear beneath.  

He had no idea how they’d come to this point—no idea how he’d managed to not screw things up beyond measure.  Given the way they’d started—they by all means should still hate each other.  But here they were, tangled together in a mess of limbs.

He realized too late that she’d opened her eyes.

“Staring?” she asked.

“Always.”

Aelin grinned in that delightfully bright way she did.  It was enough to strike any man dumb.  Taking advantage of his distraction, Aelin swooped in for a quick kiss.

“I’ll take care of the dog if you make me pancakes,” she said, already climbing out of bed.

Rowan, however, had another idea.  He snatched a hand out, catching her wrist to pull her back down on the bed.  Aelin yelped in surprise, nearly falling on top of him.  She caught herself though, one hand braced on the mattress next to him.  Golden hair fell around them as a curtain, a tangled, messy curtain.

Leaning up, Rowan caught her mouth in another kiss.  This one far more than a simple peck.  Aelin sighed against him as one hand trailed along his bare chest, her fingers working in soft caresses at his side.

As he deepened the kiss, Rowan sat up and wrapped an arm around Aelin.  He pulled her fully into his lap, fully intending to have a proper morning together when the alarm clock finally went of and that damned dog started another round of howls from outside.  Groaning, Rowan tried keeping her close for just a moment longer.

“Sorry cowboy,” Aelin said breathlessly as she pulled back. “Our child is calling.  And you’re going to be late.”

She brushed her fingers through with a fond smile before getting out of bed.  This time Rowan let her go, though he wasn’t happy about it.  

Aelin threw on a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt before she ran downstairs, calling for Fleetfoot the entire way.

In the six months since the blizzard that brought them together, many things had changed.  Normally Rowan would have shied away from it all.  Change never meant anything good.  It meant things would be different, that there was a new reality set forth before him.  And, always one to stay the course, he’d never pursued much beyond what he already knew.

But he supposed the change Aelin wrought within him was just what he needed.  And not just in keeping the family ranch.  But she made him want to be different, to be better.

After he changed, Rowan headed downstairs.  Aelin was outside with Fleetfoot, the golden lab that was supposed to be a herd dog but much preferred human company than goats.  He watched them through the kitchen window as Aelin threw a ball for Fleetfoot to chase.  

The golden sun already illuminated the sky setting everything alight.  Spring came swiftly and full of new opportunities.  And for once, Rowan didn’t dread it.

Even though he was running behind, Lorcan would kick his ass for it, Rowan whipped up a batch of pancakes and already had a few on the griddle by the time Aelin and Fleetfoot scampered back inside.

Fleetfoot pranced around happily and dashed into the kitchen to make sure Rowan knew she was there.

“Yeah, yeah,” Rowan said as the dog rubbed against one of his legs. “Go ask your momma for treats.”

Aelin instead fixed Fleetfoot’s food dish with the allotted portion of kibble.  Though, Rowan knew the dog would get at least one treat before the hour was out.

While Fleetfoot attacked her breakfast, Aelin came and wrapped her arms around Rowan’s middle.  She pressed her forehead into his back and sighed as she rested against him.

“You didn’t have to make pancakes,” she told him quietly.

Rowan flipped the few that were on the griddle before turning to accept a full hug.  He brushed the escaping bits of hair that flew from her bun out of the way and shrugged.

“I wanted to.”  

“Hmm,” Aelin hummed and pressed up onto her toes to kiss him.  Chaste and sweet, the kiss still held a lingering promise of what exactly she wanted to do to him. “Well, thank-you.  But you should go.  Lorcan’s going to be pissy enough as it is.”

“Yes dear,” Rowan said.

He let Aelin take control over the pancakes and grabbed a protein bar from the fridge before heading out for the day.  He paused when he reached the door looking back at Aelin as she pulled the batch of pancakes from the heat.

“I love you,” he said.

She looked up, blue eyes dazzling with her smile. “Love you, buzzard.”

The door closed softly behind him as he hurried down the porch to his waiting truck.  Beside it was the SUV Lysandra and Aedion had left behind, taking Aelin Audi with them once the snow let up.  The chrome silver was spattered with mud and dust looking as though it perfectly belonged where it was.  The sight brought a small smile to him.

His truck rumbled down the road to the stables where they would already be preparing for the first spring camp of the season.  They were expecting fifteen kids in total with another week planned for the wait-listers that hadn’t gotten in the first time.  

The day after the blizzard, Rowan officially terminated any agreement with Hamel that had been talked about, just as he’d promised Aelin he would.  They’d faced some backlash, but it was remarkable just what a few loyal names could do to help make things right.  Though, Aelin’s own determination in not letting the man have any more control over her said enough.

Now she worked in town at the singular therapy office, providing help to those who wanted.  When she wasn’t there, she was at the ranch helping him and continuing to plan and host events for more kids and individuals seeking help and comfort for their traumas and other mental health concerns.  Just like she’d always wanted.

Rowan drove past the wide-open field of the ranch his family had called home for over a hundred years.  And when he glanced in the rearview mirror at the ranch house fading into view behind him, he hoped that it would remain that way for a few more generations after.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

<3 reblogs appreciated.

[transmascnepetaleijon]

yk i can cook up some really nice and elaborate and interesting aus but sometimes my aus are so fucking confusing and pointless it makes me question why i do this

[yourbleedingh3art]

Literally the reason theyre so subservient to dante's every whim is bc they have an anxious compulsion to people please to make sure everything seems fine bc theyre living with a deep seated secret a discomfort when dante refers to them as wife because though they present femininely (perhaps also out of fear of rocking the proverbial boat) they are not a girl and experience discomfort when dante calls them my future wife... Write this down wrtie this down.

[unnocturnal]

guess whos on his shane/elliot bullshit because of a sudden epiphany. this stupid bitch

*!! = content warnings

thinkjng aboht these two depressed fucks finding the spark of life again together makes me 😳😳😳😳

liiiikeee elliot writing poems about shane whenever he sees him and keeps them to himself… until one day… maybe he accidentally sends it off… or shane finds it…. and hes like “wtf who would write this about me” because he believes hes deeply unlovable and meanwhile elliots like oh god oh fuck he saw it OH GOD OH FUCK and is shaking his bestie leah about it while she fully knows they pine after each other but are both so convinced they don’t deserve love that they don’t try to approach the other and she has to play match maker

omg and then elliot teaching the kids english and stuff and jas plays with his hair on breaks and shane picks her up one day to see her decorating his hair with flowers and stuff and wonders why his heart skips a beat

like wowwww hes pretty and charming and good with kids. crazy

they dont cross paths often but i swear they probably also eye each other at the saloon

shane wallowing in self doubt and keeping his distance since he doesn’t wanna approach when leah is around but elliot is too nervous to be by himself when shane’s around

shane hears elliot play the piano one day and just casually brings it up one time at the saloon

he absolutely fucks up the compliment tho so elliot has no idea if he’s saying he’s bad or not but shane kinda goes “i played when i was younger, but i don’t think i was really made for it. my fingers are too stubby” but elliot kinda goes “what do u mean ur hands are really nice” without thinking and theyre both like !1?2?1?1 but shanes like “bro ur joking. look at ur hands theyre nice and long and slender mine are just made for manual labor” and elliots like 😳 he said my hands are nice but also goes “so? just because I have long fingers doesn’t mean I’m automatically a pro. it’s about nurturing a skill, and using the tools youve got, yknow?” and shanes like damn. thats deep. ofc its gonna be deep its coming from a writer duh dum dum anyway but hes like “…yeah” and they get quiet a bit, before elliot kind of shyly proposes, “were you… interested in getting back into it?” shane pauses and is like, “… why not, beats sitting at home doing nothing on my time off.” so then they have weekly piano lessons where elliot re-teaches the piano to shane and may or may not intentionally brush hands as they practice. *!! (warning: mild kink warning) elliots the kind of teacher that uses positive feedback so shanes sitting here. in his praise kink era like. GODDAMN. DO NOT GET A CHUB. and totes has to hold in shivers when elliot whispers by his ear some instructions >:) elliots surprised at how fast shane picks things up and is actually rlly impressed he remembers alot still and just needs practice, thinks hes pretty intelligent and charming but obvi shane doesnt think the same way ab himself cuz he thinks he’s pathetic and thinks elliot is wayyyy out of his league

GOD and then they also think theyre too old for love (even though i hc them as late 20s, mid 30s) since they both kiiiinda peaked in highschool with shane and his gridball days and elliot as a theatre kid and both had some whirlwind romances at that young age that end terribly and made them jaded about love and their self worth… the way they really open up to each other initially is when they get drunk and talk about their shitty lives like how *!! (warning: mention of death of loved one, unhealthy coping mechanisms) shane lost both his best friends in the same car crash that killed his gridball career by giving him a life changing injury and is dealing with their loss while also trying to take care of jas and give her the life his bffs wouldve wanted for her and hes struggling to even be there for himself let alone her and he feels so insecure about being a father to her and how bad she must feel to have a dad like him and how worthless of a human being he is

or like how elliot was born into a family of overachievers and everyone’s done something. he lives in the shadow of his family’s legacy and he’s so so scared of being mediocre. he’s the second oldest amongst his siblings but he feels like he hasn’t accomplished anything when his siblings are famous actors, researchers, artists, and engineers. his father is a wildly successful entrepreneur and his mother is an astronaut. his uncle is out filming documentaries at the bottom of the ocean and his grandmother revolutionized the textile industry. he has so much to live up to and so little time, he had to run away to a small little town to just… breathe. be himself. of the two, elliot has already began to try to improve himself and how he views his worth, and he helps shane realize the same thing for himself. to not be afraid to ask for help. to not be afraid to admit you need help. to take baby steps. to take a step backwards. to not feel guilty about not be at your best 24/7. non linear healing. and all the while they deepen their bond they fall deeper in love and it all culminates when they get caught outside the rain together near the library and just… lean in. 👀

GOD I LOVE THEM

[barbiewritesstuff]

Sticking with my niche here, can i get some angst where Rooster and the reader are in a really bad car accident and Rooster feels incredibly guilty bc theyre hurt real bad?

Impact

-- I took some liberties but I hope you enjoy it still!

Tw. Car crash, brief mention of injuried and death --

Hangman had been drunk when his phone rang and your voice spoke through the speaker 

"Jake? Can you come pick me up? Stacy and Ashley left me stranded at the club for some stupid frat boys"

"Shit, sorry. I h-- Y/n I have had a lot of beer. I can't drive" Jake slurred through the phone. Hell, he couldn't even open his eyes. He heard you sweare through the receiver "Hang on"

"Roos -- Bradshaw. You can drive, right? Can you do me a favour?" 

And that's how Rooster had found himself driving to the club you had been at with a vague description he had received from Hangman ("She's like not too tall but also like, not small? Got blue eyes and like blonde hair? I think? It might be a little brown. She's also like, really cute?"). 

He found you by the side of the road and Rooster had to stop himself from staring.

Whatever Hangman had tried to say with 'really cute' did not paint an accurate picture of you. The club's neon lights made you look like a damn movie character. He had really sold you short. And when you spoke to introduce yourself, Bradshaw couldn't listen to anything but the honeyed tone of your voice. 

"You are saving me, I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been able to come pick me up."

"You're welcome"

"You're Rooster, right? Jake told me lots about you" 

"Oh God, what has he told you?" Rooster chuckled

"He really admires your flying, you know. And he thinks you're an overall great dude" She smiled.

An easy silence settled over the car as you fiddled with the strap of your shoe.

"So how do you know Hangman?"

"Oh it's not very interesting" you said but Rooster still urged you. 

Jake had been a friends with your older brother since diapers thanks to you moms' friendship, but being the annoying little sister meant you were excluded from much of what they did until you both hit your teens. Then, your brother got ill, Jake spent much of his days at yours trying to do what your brother couldn't anymore. He'd help with homework, listen to you talk about boys and teach you how to play guitar. You really appreciated that he was there for you. And when your brother died, Jake was there to hug you and hold you as you cried. He held you hand during the funeral, hoping you would find the same comfort in the gesture than he did. 

Since then, he was there to protect you no matter the day, no matter the time.

Rooster listened and stayed quiet. It turned out that whatever Hangman lacked in reliability in the air, he made up for with her. 

"Are you single?" Realising the suddenness of the question, Rooster tried to backtrack "I mean you and Jake --"

"Oh no, we're not dating. Just friends. I'm single" You shot a disarming smile his way "Are you, Rooster?" 

You tone had been a little suggestive. Rooster could feel the temperature rise in the car. He nodded.

Talking to you was easier than talking to anyone he'd ever talked to. You were naturally chatty and didn't mind his short answers at the start. 

Your relaxed attitude made him at ease. 

You were almost at the Hard Deck where you said you would pick up Jake and drive him home in his own car. Rooster wished the journey had been longer.

"If that's okay, i'd like to take you out sometime"

You beamed but before you could answer Rooster felt the wheel jerk under his fingers. 

You had been stopped at an intersection, the light turned green and Rooster had stepped on the gas and then your world went dark. 

The car flipped.

The corvette that had sped down the hill on your right hadn't even attempted to brake much before hitting you straight in the passenger door. 

Rooster was relatively uninjured, save for whiplash, a broken wrist and a concussion. He managed to crawl out of the car. He looked at the scene. The corvette had been turned into an accordion and the door of your car had bent inwards so much in the impact that it had snapped clean off of its hinges and was now lying on the floor.

He could see you from where he stood.

Rooster walked forward a little and knelt down to check up on you. His heart stopped. 

You were staring dead ahead, empty eyes glazed over. There was no pulse and no breathing.

The emergency crews arrived and pronounced you and the corvette's driver dead at the scene. They loaded Rooster onto the ambulance despite his pleas that he was fine, please leave him alone, to check for internal damage.

He knew it wasn't his fault. But the guilt he felt was all consuming.

How was he going to tell Hangman? What was he going to tell Hangman?

She had been precious to him, the only person he had never left hanging and on the one night he allows someone else to help, he gets her killed. Rooster tried not to imagine what was happening at the Hard Deck right then. He tried not to imagine Jake's face when the police officers entered the bar and told him that there was an accident and that his honorary little sister had been killed on impact.

Rooster's phone buzzed with an incoming call. The name "Lt Jackass Seresin" lit up the screen. Rooster didn't pick up.

[riphimopen]

Any takes on Michael's parents? What do you think their reaction to the Judith incident was? Do you think they visited him? And what about the abuse? Sorry I just have brain rot and I find it hard to believe parents would just abandon their 6 year old child 😭

frankly......... so theyre devastated ofc by judiths death and they agree that michael needs help bc they dont want to lose another child (and how could they know that the sanitarium is tantamount to if not worse than losing him) so they let him get driven away and think this was a one time case; he’ll be better and out within the year and then we adjust and go to family therapy and light candles for judy on sunday nights and cry when we need to, right, and we love our son. and we love our son. and our two year old daughter takes our attention in the meantime because theres really nothing we can do for michael? they visit. less and less often as laurie, cynthia, laurie, grows up healthy strong and smiling like michael never did (flat affect, they dont fault him for it but its so nice to see their toddler’s stupid toothy grin), and shes a real lightofmylife like her sister was. her brother is visited. he’s. getting quieter. the doctors say theyre trying everything and ask for authorization on some meds, and edith and peter of course will try anything for their son so they sign the documents (and how could they know that these drugs have nothing to do with their son’s best interests) and the next time they see michael he doesnt bother talking to them.

wow it hurts as a parent! to have a child so mentally ill that it affects you :( to have a mentally ill child and have that affect you negatively :(( can you imagine a child who is mentally ill... that would for sure make its parents feel shitty wow :( and they start really building some resentment against their son, who is now a teen; they take laurie to see him once and he doesnt even acknowledge her (her: light of their life) and edith and peter think (even if they dont realize theyre thinking it): if the doctors are doing everything they can, then michael must be damn stubborn. doesn’t he know that theyre trying to help him.

loomis tells them at one point that michael has been acting violently against him and some of the other doctors, which is true. he doesnt tell them why. he lets them infer it and they infer that the problem child wont cooperate with these friendly wellmeaning practitioners. 

so this keeps festering and he keeps not talking to them (and wishing desperately that they would get him out of there, or he would wish if he was sober enough to) and by the time that laurie is adopted by the strodes edith and peter had come to think of michael as a once a month visit and a signature for prescriptions who stole their eldest and has the gall to be a moody teenager about it. doesnt he know that theyre trying their best. doesnt he get that his mental illness makes them feel like bad parents? doesnt he get that its about them? they die in a car crash

basically theyre non entities in the worst way possible in that they see the results of abuse without knowing about the abuse, infer that its michaels fault and a behavioral issue, feel shitty about it, and blame him for making them feel shitty; the neglect begets continued abuse. thats michaels parents.