#they've got character they've got backstory but they don't have FUCKING NAMES

[one-winged-dreams]

I am legit so smitten with those goddamn Fan Letter marines, they don't even have NAMES, what the hell am I supposed to do?

[terramythos]

Anyway here's my breakdown of the ffxiv jobs, my opinions on playing each, and the tier rank of how good their story was

TANKS

WARRIOR - warrior is so fucking funny why did they make it able to solo heal itself and the entire party in 90% of the content in the game. Raw Intuition/Bloodwhetting is so broken in dungeons its hilarious. And then they have like 3 additional healing skills on top of that. And they kept buffing it throughout Endwalker. So it is currently the easiest to play, does the most damage (i think...?), and has the best healing of any of the Tank jobs. 2nd fave probably.

Story Tier: C, it's ok, Curious Gorge is a good name. i have like nothing to say about it it's a generic AF story

PALADIN - I used to hate PLD but I think the partial rework they got halfway through Endwalker helped it a lot. It's much less clunky now. Probably still my least favorite Tank though Hallowed Ground is fun and it's pretty close to Gunbreaker for me.

Story Tier: F, this is the worst class storyline in the entire game. It's so stupid. The writing is so bad the writers acknowledge it makes no sense at all and I'm like. Yeah, thanks, I am experiencing this shit. Perhaps write a story that makes sense next time instead of pointing that out.

DARK KNIGHT - Unfortunately this is my favorite Tank 🫡 which is rough since it has the worst survivability out of any of them. But I love how you use MP and the silly number of OGCDs. The Blackest Night is such a fun ability and it's a crime that it's not a baseline skill you get from the start. Why do they have so many DRs that only cover magic damage. I must ask.

Story Tier: S, there's a reason it's the most popular and well regarded class storyline. It's really good, also the only questline I know of that uses the quest log text as part of the narrative. Outside maybe a few of the very late Endwalker quests. And, well... same writer lmao

GUNBREAKER: I think GNB looks cool as fuck and I like that it has 2 DPS rotations. The Gnashing Fang combo is so fun. Superbolide memes are always fun. My main issue with it is a skill issue because I am just constantly misaligning its burst windows.

Story Tier: C. It has some interesting lore but I found it pretty forgettable as a story.

HEALERS

WHITE MAGE: I hated White Mage for a while but something clicked and now I totally get it. I find it fun in dungeons cause you get to Holy spam and stun lock everything. As uh. The healer. That's fun. Once you get Afflatus heals (and then Afflatus Misery) it clicks. It's fun maximizing damage and playing chicken with the tank's HP.

Story Tier: B, you get a lot of lore around the Padjal, and I think the Stormblood story where you find a padjal living in hiding with her mother is pretty good! Also it's not technically the job storyline but there's a WHM side quest to get a unicorn mount? i guess it's technically a CNJ quest but same diff. no one else gets that shit. so that's cool

SCHOLAR: probably my least favorite of the healers... it just feels super clunky. You can tell a bunch of different design philosophies went into it over the years and none of them mesh very well. They've made it so the Fairy Gauge controls literally one spell. Why have the gauge at all? It's also a huge missed opportunity that there's no tie in or interaction with the fae in Shadowbringers. I love the idea of a battle tactician healer but I think it needs a rework.

Story Tier: B+, I liked the characters and its the main way to get backstory and lore on what happened with Nym.

ASTROLOGIAN: While I think AST has a similar issue to SCH (lots of different design philosophies over the years) I find it way more fun to play. I like the card mechanic and how it interacts with the rest of the party. AST is basically the only job that has its own like. Minigame? As part of its rotation. And I know a lot of people don't like the RNG for it but personally I find it fun. I know AST is getting a redesign in Dawntrail so hope it's good.

Story Tier: C? I think? I'll be honest I don't remember it super well but I didn't find anything objectionable about it. And I like the tarot aesthetic and lore and how it's healing based on manipulating luck.

SAGE: I think SGE is tons of fun, I'm not sure if I like it or WHM more. I love all the skills SGE has for preventing damage and the gimmick where your DPS heals someone in the party. Visually the hi-tech laser shooting healer is a lot of fun. IT HAS A GAP CLOSER. The only thing i wish was it wasn't so MP negative and that it did more damage. It's a little sad its DPS output is so low compared to the other healers (even AST when you factor in how it buffs the party). Since SGE is supposed to be a healer that heals through damage it's silly its damage kinda sucks.

Story Tier: A, I loved this storyline. Both the Endwalker job stories are very self contained and interesting. While the twist is pretty obvious it's still an interesting exploration of uh. Scientific ethics. Yeah

PHYSICAL MELEE DPS

MONK: I've probably played MNK the least of the phys melee but I like the whole adaptable combo thing. Not much else to say since I have played it so little. Might bring it back out and try again. It DID have the funniest guide in the Balance discord for a while.

Story Tier: D. I think? I remember thinking it was dumb, lmao. Sorry.

DRAGOON: MAN I wished I liked DRG more. It looks so fucking cool and I like how it interacts with the dragon lore. But I find it very punishing to play. To do good damage you have to align so many different cooldowns... and snapshot your DOT correctly... and screwing one thing up just fucks your DPS output forever. Like AST I believe this is being reworked in Dawntrail so I hope it feels better to play.

Story Tier: C+. I think it starts strong since you get to meet Estinien pre-Heavensward and it melds nicely with that story. But I found it pretty directionless post-HW which is a shame.

NINJA: I remember finding this one fun. I like that there are different combos you do that have varied finishers depending on the situation. I am just... bad at remembering which combo to use to get which finisher, lol. So I haven't played it as much. NIN gets a lot of flavor other jobs don't get with their unique run and jump animations. And you get a Bunny of Shame on your head if you fuck up a combo, which is incredible.

Story Tier: A. The Rogue story is probably the most memorable of the basic class quests. Ninja just has great characters and a fun story. What is with that one guy. Karasu? If you know you know. I also like how the Rogue characters show up later in the Ninja story. That's fun.

SAMURAI: I had a similar experience to WHM here because I initially hated it then really came around once it clicked. SAM seems very complex, it has a ton of buttons and different combos. But it is actually quite intuitive once you figure out the general pattern. And it does INSANE damage. I think it's the highest DPS output in the game? I love building the combos and then doing a huge finisher for a bajillion damage. The guaranteed crits and constant OGCD weaves make me feel unstoppable. I think this is tied with RPR for me.

Story Tier: B+. I found the exiled samurai character and his journey toward redemption very compelling. I won't spoil beyond that. However it does fall apart a little in the second half. Still fun but not as good.

REAPER: I love RPR, the teleportation is a lot of fun, and I love finally unleashing the demon form and going ham on the enemy. The weapons are the coolest looking in the game. Every scythe design hits. I probably played this the most in Endwalker. My main critique is the Death's Design mechanic. I hate having to keep a stupid debuff on the target to do damage. It's like a dot but without the optimized snapshotting. If they want to keep this idea i think it would feel better to change it into something like SGE's Kardia where you apply it to one enemy to do increased damage to it without having to worry about reapplying it. not sure how they would balance this for aoe but that's not my job. But even with that caveat I still really enjoy the job.

Story Tier: A+. While it doesn't reach the highs of DRK's story it comes close. I love the badass old lady main character. Her hunting a voidsent that possessed her grandfather would be cool enough but making her a Garlean exile in hiding who grudgingly agrees to train you just adds an extra cool factor. I really enjoyed this story. As a bonus theres a lot of incidental dialogue in the post-6.0 Endwalker story if you completed the RPR story because it ties in a lot.

PHYSICAL RANGED DPS

BARD: It's a bit clunky, its got some outdated design elements, it has one of the lowest damage outputs in the game... and i LOVE IT. this was technically the first job I ever played? totally different character like 8 years ago. and i was so so bad. I think i am actually pretty good at current BRD. the animations look cool. i like that it's a class you really need to work for and optimize to eke out that last bit of damage. and boosting everyone else's damage by existing is kinda neat.

Story Tier: B. I'll be real I barely remember this but I do remember it was gay as fuck so immediately gets an extra tier for that.

MACHINIST: MCH is really funny right now because like. It's phys ranged, right. The design behind phys ranged is you have 100% uptime cause you can freely move around and not have to worry about cast timers or melee range or anything. So the trade off is that they do less damage than other classes. Endwalker MCH did not get the memo and does insane damage anyway. My controversial opinion is that it has similar burst DPS to RPR. No i will not elaborate. I'm also bad at doing good damage on MCH which is impressive since it is easy.

Story Tier: B+. Some Ishgard noble's gay son wants to build machines instead of killing dragons the good old fashioned way and has to prove himself to get taken seriously. A tale as old as time. See I haven't done this quest in like years but I still remember it. He is a memorable character. It's just not like. knockout wowza compared to the A tier stories.

DANCER: Dancer is the second easiest DPS job in the game behind SMN. So if i am sleepy it's the one I like playing. You play simon says. you do a lot of damage when you play simon says then do almost no fucking damage otherwise. I think it's the lowest direct damage in the game? for a dps i mean. You have high stakes sexual tension with a DPS of your choice via Dance Partner. I wish other DNC players knew how Dance Partner works. YOU CAN DANCE PARTNER ANOTHER DANCER. THE BUFF STACKS. BUT YOU CANNOT DANCE PARTNER THE SAME PLAYER AS ANOTHER DANCER. THOSE BUFFS DO NOT STACK. ok i'm good. anyway

Story Tier: C. there's some shit about negative emotions and purging them? in theory i think this has some interesting implications with Endwalker lore considering Dynamis and its role in the story. Very similar mechanically to what's going on with the DNC story. but i really don't think the writers made the connection so it's like pure speculation and not the actual story. It's meh. fine i guess. i did like all the flashy dancing sequences.

MAGICAL RANGED DPS

BLACK MAGE: I am so so so so so so so bad at BLM. i pull up the guide. i read the guide. it all makes perfect sense. i go into a dungeon or trial or something. somehow i always get like Zeromus or some shit. and i drop Enochian or something and everything goes to shit and i'm yelling and i'm not even like slide casting or teleporting or anything i just run around crying. then i remember i have like 10 more buttons i haven't been pressing and oh god the dot fell off. people play this? for fun? i admire it. apparently they do a ton of damage if you can play it. could not be me.

Story Tier: B? There's some voidsent and Thirteenth lore. all the black mage characters are Lalafell because it's funny i guess. OH YEAH it has like the one named male Keeper of the Moon Miqo'te NPC in the entire game and he's fun. look at this twink:

sorry i don't have anything to say about BLM i am bad at it

SUMMONER: easiest DPS job in the entire game. they redesigned it for Endwalker so it is practically a new job. i have no idea how it played before. but it is super streamlined. maybe too streamlined? it's another one to play if you want to turn your brain off. i like that at 90 you summon The Actual Primals instead of little representations of them. and i like the way your burst phase switches between Bahamut and Phoenix. it all looks very cool. they should add Leviathan as a summon in Dawntrail.

Story Tier: C.. i don't remember a single thing about this questline except you interact with Y'shtola's half sister. i think you go to Cartenau at some point. idk

RED MAGE: RDM is one of those jobs that looks really complicated when you start then you actually play it and it is just super super easy. that being said i think it's really fun. I like balancing the white and black magic gauges. Dualcast is a great gimmick and it feels cool to lob two big spells in a row at something. Dualcast Verraising a chain of dead players is so fucking funny. it's a shame that the existence of Verraise means RDM does shit damage to compensate for its utility. It and DNC just sit at the bottom with BRD barely scratching ahead of them. i think? i don't remember LOL

Story Tier: A, I really like the story and characters. I like that you have a middle-age world weary catboy (catman) as your mentor. and i like that he canonically trained Alisaie too and you chat a little about that. it's a fun story!

BLUE MAGE: what the fuck is a blue mage

Story Tier: ???

[stellafrin]

Welp, time to dredge up and finish this post I started like 4 episodes ago and expand it to talk about the whole show. I feel I need to share my thoughts on this now, I can't wait another week for the finale to say anything.

I started out liking this show, thinking it was an interesting and fun premise but my excitement for the show has definitely dropped a bit from when I started. At this point it's a solid 6 or 5, not good but not bad, just annoyingly mid.

It just feels kinda substanceless and without real direction. It doesn't feel like it's been moving towards anything in particular despite having several things come up that could be interesting to explore more.

How Chrome's evil plans are just some small annoyances at best and learning as the show goes on that the reason he's not that great of an evil mastermind is because he's just a decent person at heart.

which would be interesting to explore more... if they did anything with it.

The ambiguity on weather Grandpa Date actually knows and understands what's going on but is just playing dumb or if he's actually just oblivious. Plus the introduction of Chizuko's dad being a fan of Chrome making it seem like it may not have been pure chance that got her dragged into this situation.

which would be interesting... if they did anything with it.

The occasional near misses with classmates paired with her dad being her teacher could lead to some interesting dynamics outside the main cast especially if her being Evil General got out.

which would be interesting... if they did literally anything with it.

Even all the little things with magic we've learned, from the Fossa Magna monthly limit, to the use of magic on non-magic users being a contract related thing, and magic having some tie to emotion. But because Chizuko never uses magic herself, none of this ever actually becomes truly important outside of lore, backstory, or to set up why Chrome can't do shit this episode.

and it'd be interesting... if they did literally anything more with it.

And the things that do feel like they've been moving the story forwards have been happening at a glacial pace. Mainly to do with Chizuko's path to becoming an Evil General and everything.

getting temporary magic in ep2 only for it to do nothing and never comes up again

ep3's misunderstanding with Mashirou gaining her villain name

getting her proper Fossa Magna card to be able to finally use magic proper and also gaining her Magical Girl Evil General Uniform IN EPISODE 9

And finally now, in episode fucking 11, the semi-finale, do we get proper interactions between Chizuko and Berry as herself AND as General Dante.

I mean she does end up setting up fights that are more interesting and even have some level of stakes sometimes but ultimately walking things back because she too is a decent person but many of them don't feel like they're progressing story or character growth that much if at all.

It feels like there's been little to no character development for most of the characters actually. And all the relationshipy stuff have just jokes and nothing more.

Chizuko's fangirly crush on Berry just being a repeated gag almost every episode.

Chrome being vague about Chizuko's fangirling when talking to Berry to keep it secret ending up in her thinking Chrome is the fan. (this is the one thing that actually for real was starting to get on my nerves before they seem to have completely dropped it after keeping it up for like 3 episodes.)

And the whole thing with Mashirou which the show seemed it was trying (and failing) to keep secret only to literally just confirmed it next episode. It was fun getting the hints of Evil Mastermind/Mascot Character(Former Friend/Rival/Villain) Yaoi. Which was dropped almost instantly after the 2 episodes of backstory finished.

But in the most recent episode there seems to actually be things going on, not only the interactions between Chizuko and Berry, we're getting more on Forssa Magna and possibly consequences for Mashirou running off and setting up this Magical Girl to fight back against them. Finally, some progress on all fronts... 1 episode from the end...... .............

also, what was up with that kid and butler that show up for a grand totally of one episode (split across 2 episodes)? Were they just there to steal Chizuko's card once and than have an explanation for where her uniform came from? Is there literally nothing else to these 2 named characters introduced literally 8 episodes in only to never show up again? They're literally in the show's OP?!?! (had to go back and double check and there's literally another 3 characters I don't think I've ever seen in the main show what?)

But with all that said, that doesn't mean I'm gonna stop watching the show. I'm already 11 episodes in and there's still 1 left to go.

Sunk Cost Fallacy lets gooooooooooooo!!!

Ok but joking aside. I might sound harsh on this show but I am actually still enjoying it. It's cute and fun to watch, but in the end it is just flavorless fluff.

A LaCroix Cotton Candy

......

wait actually that's like a super mean way to put it there's gotta be a better way to say that

[le-panda-chocovore]

You know those dads who sometimes drop a pretty fucked up random backstory then never mention it again ?

That's- That's Toji Fushiguro.

Imagine a world where Toji tries to be a good dad and stays around Megumi and Tsumiki, maybe a Modern AU with No Curse if you want, doesn't matter (no spoilers) :

So, the kids are in middle school/high school, Toji is... Toji, but present at last. And they're doing their homework, they've been sitting there for a while and Toji gets close to see what this is about. And he reads Megumi's notebook and frowns because the words doesn't make any sense.

"Do you need to know this ?" he asks, because he's bored and likes to bother his son. "What are they even teaching you ? That's useless, none of these things will help you in the real world."

And Megumi is kinda pissed because the final terms are soon and he's trying to focus, and he thinks his dad is a dumbass. "Maybe that's why you can't keep a job, because you never listened in school."

Toji snorts, not at all hurt by his son's words, and shrugs. "Never been in school my whole damn life and I've been handling things pretty well."

"Have you really ? You're unemploye- wait what do you mean you never been in school ?? What ?"

"Was homeschooled," is all Toji says before leaving Megumi alone and walking to the kitchen to find something to eat.

Megumi watches him go, dumbfounded, trying to process what the fuck his father just dropped on him. That.... explains a lot of things actually. Why his father totally lack social skills and awareness, why he has no respect for authority or anyone actually, why he always says that it doesn't matter if the kids miss class for a few days. But, really, what the fuck ?

Another time, he gets into Megumi's room (he knows he's not allowed to, he just doesn't care) and sees his son drawing something on a big paper. There's his name, Tsumiki's, and Megumi's too, then a few others that Toji doesn't recognize.

"Is that a family tree ?" He asks, making his son jump because of the surprise. He laughs when Megumi sends him a deadly stare. "Who are those people ?"

"No one. My English teacher wants us to describe our family in 5 minutes so I make up a few people, as usual. They don't care as long as the vocabulary is good."

Toji hums thoughtfully. "You put Tsumiki's mother ?"

"Yeah," Megumi shrugs, trying to focus on linking the branches to the people. "I have to say how Tsumiki and I are siblings. I can't erase her just because she left us."

"That's what my parents did when I ran away though. There was a hole in the traditional family tree last time I went there."

Megumi stops moving, hand mid-air, and turns to see his dad. "...What ?"

He knows Toji is in no contact with his family, he actually wasn't sure if it was still alive until now. Toji never talks about them. And now he's saying that... he ran away ? That his parents pretend he never existed ? That he went back to his old house at some point ? When ??? What ???? Megumi has always thought that his dad got cast out of his family because of his odd personality, but now things appear to him in a new perspective.

"Hey, give me two sisters," Toji says instead of elaborating. "I don't want to be an only child in your imaginary family."

They're watching a movie and a character just got shot on the screen. The character is losing a lot of blood, they're panting, holding their injury tightly.

"Unrealistic," Toji says while taking a bite of his pizza. "You don't bleed that way with a bullet wound. He shouldn't be able to move his arm either."

Tsumiki looks silently at her step-father, a bit worried. Megumi blinks and gathers the force to ask the question she's too polite to articulate.

"How do you know that...?" He knows, he knows he's not going to like the answer. He's already regretting the question. The seconds are long before Toji answers.

"Cause I got shot a few years ago, it fucking hurt as hell." And he takes another bite of his pizza.

Megumi doesn't know if he's relieved or not. On the bright side, that means that his father never killed anyone -as far as he knows, and he doesn't want nor need to know more- and on the other side...

"What do you mean you got shot ??"

Tsumiki learned to cook at 6. She wasn't able to do many meals back then, but with time her cooking skills improved incredibly. She didn't have much choice, growing up with a man who couldn't cut vegetables to save his life. Toji is a kitchen hazard. The first years, he even managed to mess up rice in a rice cooker.

So as usual, the teenage girl is preparing the ingredients to feed her little family, despite the bad cold that made her dizzy.

"Tsumiki," her brother calls while putting a hand on her back to stabilize her. "Go rest a bit, I'll do it."

"It's okay, I'm fine. I just-"

"No, you're not. Let me cook, you need to lie down."

Tsumiki sighs but has no choice but to let her brother guide her to the couch. She is too weak to fight against him. Toji is already sprawled on the couch, but Megumi's kick makes him shift to let his place to the girl.

"What are we going to eat," he asks, very little worried about Tsumiki's state. It was a simple cold, she'll survive. His hunger though feels more urgent.

"Maybe if you helped a bit you'd know," Megumi hissed at him. "How did you feed yourself before us ?"

Toji grabs the TV remote and changes the channel for some horse race that he thankfully didn't place a bet on this time. "We got maids, and only women did the chores."

Megumi stares at him judgementally. Sometimes, he swears that guy just wanted to mess with him. The boy goes back to the kitchen without adding anything and tries his best to prepare something good.

"I don't understand what's the problem," Toji claims to the school's headteacher. He's sitting with arms crossed on his chest and looking expectantly at the man who is half his size. Megumi almost feels bad for Takemi-sensei, it's never a good experience to have a talk with Toji Fushiguro.

"Well, huh, as I said, hum, your son got into several fights, a-and-"

"I heard that the first time," Toji cuts the man off, looking annoyed. He isn't even trying to look threatening, but Megumi couldn't blame the headteacher for feeling uncomfortable because of his father's gaze. "But he won, right ?"

Takemi-sensei blinked, then cleared his throat. "He did, but fighting is prohibited here, we can't let such a comportment pass-"

"So what, you want me to ground him because he's stronger than his classmate ? That's a good thing, no ? My son has amazing fighting skills, of course, he got that from me, he should be complimented for that and not sanctioned."

Megumi very much wants to die right now even though his father is taking his side there. He hates it when the teachers ask to talk with his dad. It's always so embarrassing and weird. But there's nothing he can do now, except hope that his dad won't say anything that would make the headteacher call child protection. It happened already. Twice.

"Megumi," his father calls, making the boy turn his head to look at him. "How many guys did you beat up ?"

"Huh... A lot. Thirty-something, I think ?" He didn't bother to count. "They were looking for a fight, so I taught them a lesson."

Toji grins and shuffles his son's hair with too much enthusiasm. He knows Megumi hates it, but he loves doing it anyway.

"That's my boy !" Toji turns back to the headteacher who's finally starting to understand why the black-haired student is that way. "See, he defended himself ! He's not throwing punches for the pleasure, he was in his right. Plus he won, so it's good ! He beat up thirty guys and he's fine !"

Takemi-sensei opens his mouth but can't think of a word to say to that madman.

"You know," Toji hums innocently, "When I was younger, my father said I needed to get stronger, so he threw me in a pit with wild animals inside. Got me this scar," he explained as he pointed his lips. "Being strong is important to survive, it means nothing can hurt you. I learned that when I was 7, I think the other kids can understand this lesson too."

Megumi opens his eyes wide and Takemi-sensei does the same. What the fuck is this man talking about now ?

But Toji doesn't let anyone question him about his childhood. He stands up, taking his son's arm so he'd do the same.

"Thanks sensei, but I think Megumi's doing great. He'll go far in life. He's smart and he's strong, there's nothing to reprove here."

And with that, he leaves, dragging a confused and shocked Megumi with him.

"I think Dad is pranking us," the dark-haired teen confesses to his sister while they're walking out of the grocery store.

Tsumiki tilts her head and hums. "I don't know... But I have to admit that his stories are... disturbing."

"They're crazy you mean ? There's no way everything is true."

She nods. She's always too polite and nice to say anything, but she too is confused by her stepdad's past. Every now and then he makes a comment that just seems crazy, but he looks so serious and genuine that she doesn't know what to think about it. But she wasn't the kind of person to accuse others of lying, especially the man who kept her even when her own mother left. Well, it was his fault that she left in the first place, but still.

"I try not to think too much about it," Tsumiki sighs.

"One day he's going to tell us that he was secretly a hitman or something, and the worst part is that I'd find that believable."

Tsumuki chuckles quietly while her brother desperately shakes his head. "You're exaggerating Megumi, he's not that bad."

"I'm not exaggerating, you remember when he criticized how the guy took care of the body when we were watching that detective show ?"

Tsumiki remembers that very well, and she too was very worried by Toji's knowledge of human anatomy and different ways to get rid of a body back then. Still, it isn't enough to make him a criminal.

"Dad is freaking strange," the boy continued as he sighs. "Sometimes I think he kidnapped me when I was a toddler or something."

"That's kinda mean, Megumi," a deep voice behind them startles them. "I know I'm not the father of the year but still."

The siblings look at each other for a few seconds, then Megumi looks away while Tsumiki apologetically bows in front of the man. Megumi grumbles something unintelligible and Toji frowns slightly.

"You know, I got enough of a family who sees me as a shameful black sheep for you to say this shit about me. Do you really think you're not my son ?"

Megumi is too disturbed to react anyway. Toji doesn't seem mad, but he looks kinda . . . Hurt ? The kids never imagined that their father could show that kind of emotions.

"What an ungrateful dumbass," Toji grimaced, looking annoyed. "I changed your diapers and woke up to every single one of your baby cries, so don't say that shit again. I'm used to people from my own family saying I'm a freak, but it becomes kinda tiring now."

Tsumiki apologizes again as if she's the one who did something wrong, and Megumi really hates it. He grabs her arm and forces her to straighten up. Then, looking down because he can't handle his father's gaze, he manages a few uncertain words.

"...Sorry." His voice is low but Toji has good ears, he can hear him.

Toji looks at the two of them silently before shrugging and walking past them.

"'s fine. Let's go home."

The kids follow him and they all walk home together. Toji takes the bags to put everything in the closets and fridge. Tsumiki and Megumi look at him doing it, before finally one of them breaks the silence.

"You were abused ?" Tsumiki cautiously asks with her soft voice. She already knows the answer, and so does Megumi, but they want confirmation.

Toji freezes, then starts moving again. "Yeah, you can say that. But it's fine, they're not going to hurt me again. It was a pain in the ass to get rid of those assholes, I don't even understand why they didn't want to let me go when they had always treated me like trash all this time. "

"You make it sound like they're Yakuzas or something," Megumi notes, but he really didn't expect his dad to look at him briefly and hums. "...What ?"

Toji closes the closet door after everything is set in its place and walks toward the sofa.

"Dad what ?" Megumi calls again, following him in the living room. "Wait, don't do that, you can't- We're not Yakuzas."

"Well, you're not, I'm made sure of that. Don't worry too much."

"WHAT ?!"

Anyway, yeah, just Toji randomly talking about his life to his kids.

[rollforfelicity]

On Mind Flayers and Safety Tools

or Why Aren't You Having Fun, You Miserable Fucks

Apparently some assholes read something in a D&D book that was like "hey there's an option in this module that could be upsetting to players, so before you do this, make sure you have consent from players," and got SUPER upset about it, and it's got me thinking about GMing and how I feel about it.

Idk if it's a D&D thing or a dude thing, but there's this narrative about DMs* where they're like, these all powerful gods whose job it is to punish players who "make dumb decisions." When players express preferences, or ask that certain material be off-limits, these guys act like players are trying to cheat their way to "winning the game," by avoiding consequences. They get mad even THINKING about it. They don't want to collaborate on a story, and I don't think they even want to be a glorified referee. They want to be cops. They want to impose their will on the people around them, and they want to be petty, vengeful shits while they do it.

That has not been my experience DMing, nor has it ever been my desire (because I'm not a fucked up dude-monster). GMing is an act of service, one that I love to provide.** I GM because I want my friends to have a fun time, and I want to have a fun time with them. I want to hear their ideas. I want to hold their hands and guide them back to a state of childlike imagination, before they were afraid of looking stupid. I want them to feel safe to explore emotions they push away in day to day life.

When something bad happens to their character, I want it to be the bad thing THEY want it be: the inevitable tragedy we've been foreshadowing since character creation, that fatal foible they've been mentioning all session, the darkness they've been treading further and further into.

People tend to simplify "safety tools" into "don't trigger your players." That's obviously one goal, but my view is that safety tools are a lot more than that, and avoiding triggers is the minimum of what safety should do. I want to know what stories we're tired of telling. I want to know what tropes we dislike. I want to know if a character from someone's backstory is one they'd like to stay alive, or one they want to find dead at the hands of the BBEG. I want to give them the chance to name their own parents and siblings. I want them to decide if the sports team they play on is doing well or not when the story begins.

Even outside the narrative aspect of safety tools, when I stream, I always explicitly tell players "You know your needs more than I do. If you need to get up and get a drink or a snack, or tend to any other need, get up and do it. You don't need to ask for permission." I consider this part of player safety. I want people to be comfortable.

Regardless of your role at the table, if you're playing and you don't give a shit about whether or not everyone at the table is having a good time, I think you're fucking up the most BASIC aspect of what a TTRPG is. It's a game.

It's supposed to be fun.

These asshole DMs are failing TTRPGs at the most basic level. "How am I supposed to punish my players if they say they don't want to get turned into a Mind Flayer?" Why the fuck are you punishing people in a game? When your friends sit down to play Monopoly, do you call dibs on being banker and then say "oh btw if anyone does what I think is a stupid move, I'm going to tase you."

If you want to run a game where you can turn people into a Mind Flayer when they fail a roll, then find a table of people who would enjoy that.*** Some people have genuine fun playing Dark Souls, whereas if I ever played a souls-like game, I would die of frustration. I'm not here to tell you how to have fun. I'm just here to tell you that everyone should be having a good time playing games, whatever that looks like.

*I would usually use the more generic term GM, but this seems to be a specifically DM thing

**This gets into my thoughts comparing different GM styles to different kinds of sex but sadly my brand isn't horny enough for me to write that.

***Honestly a lot of this has sexual parallels but again, I must consider my sexless brand

[kazumahashimoto]

okay first i need to start by saying x has EASILY showcased that beyblade is not contingent on a large reoccuring cast. they just need to be interesting characters. i'm already and Have Been so insanely invested in all three of the main characters since day ONE and that has only increased with time. i won't dog on the later seasons of burst Too hard here since they didn't get as many episodes to flesh out the characters but my GOD what a difference getting to have filler episodes makes. s5 is my favorite season of burst post s2 and i literally could not tell you hikaru and hyuga's three friends' names. but x having a smaller cast has only helped them because they've actually chosen to give them all personalities and goals!!!!!!!!! i absolutely absolutely adore the emphasis this series has put on. NOT BEING THE BEST 😭😭 it is SUCH a fun take. i'm just incoherently babbling i can't find anything deeper to say about that rn. i just love it.

and god they never miss on the filler episodes i tell you what. episode is titled "memories of sushi" and i see the thumbnail of multi and robin fighting for their lives and i'm like ahhhh a jaxon episode he's gonna make sushi ^_^ AND BOY HE SURE DOES! and sidenote the comedy here is so fucking good. like i can't fucking stand them. but then all of a sudden as jaxon is want to do it gets momentarily very serious. jesus christ i was NOT expecting jaxon gay arc when this started but then they hit us with the jaxon giving khrome his dragon hair piece and the

AND THE "maybe it only tastes so good because i'm with you" LIKE HHYUYGGHG?!?! I'M SORRY!??!?!?!? jaxon's shit with food is seriously going to fucking kill me man holy shit when jaxon comes back from his flashback (after looking at the sushi robin made For Him) and he eats it and we don't get to see his eyes. GAY LOVE TRIANGLE?!?!?! IN MY BEYBLADE!??!?!?!?!? i'm losing my mind. it's so crazy. khrome is like "man you sure do love blading and sushi it's all you ever talk about" and jaxon is like "yup it's all i need 👍" and khrome is like "it's all you need huh o_e 💔....." not seeing jaxon's gestures of literally Feeding Him His Sushi and giving him the HAIR PIECE HE STILL WEARS TO THIS DAY LIKE DAMN!!!!!!!!!!! AND JAXON FED ROBIN SUSHI FROM HIS FUCKING HAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS NOT!!!!! EXPECTING IT TO BE SO BOLD LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!! i'm just so hapoy. characters so good. CHARACTERS SO INTERESTING....... CHARACTERS WITH DEPTH!!!!!!!! AND BACKSTORIES!!!!!!!! CHARACTERS THAT HAVE LIVES!!!!!!!!!!! it feels good. AND THEN THEY DROP THE BOMB THAT JAXON'S OLD TEAMMATE NOT KHROME KNOWS HE'S BLADER X!??!?!? I WAS JUST THINKING "THIS DUDE IS NOT THAT HARD TO CLOCK" AND BOOM!!!!!!! THEY GOT HIM!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so obsessed. thank you beyblade. thank you beyblade i owe you everything oTL

[ravenkinnie]

As nice as it might be for angst potential, felica(?) being besties with vander & silco feels soo…. idk. like it just comes out of nowhere? Idk if i’d quite call it a retcon, per say, but it definitely doesn’t… make too much sense. I thought her death supposed to be a “yeah this wasn’t worth it we lost way too many people trying this” thing for vander. Nope! Very Close friend who’s daughter he literally named is now dead & That was apparently the catalyst for him trying to kill silco!

Like Hello??? So you’re tellin me silco Wouldn’t know exactly who’s kids vander took in??? He was standing right over her corpse??? Even Assuming he Did know, then he was perfectly okay with attempting to murder his dead friend’s children? Who he apparently promised to make zaun a reality For Them? Feels like a “btw silco was a Bad Guy, in case you forgot.” reminder. Like… Okaaaaay…. lol…. I guess he Did somehow know exactly where to find Vi when she came back but… Seriously?

Only way i can make any sense of this is if they’re Attempting to do some sort of “history repeating itself in different ways” bc The Arcane(?) is basically a… cosmic horror entity that has its own will & pulls the strings of reality like puppets to entertain itself or something. (At least, i kinda got that implication from viktor’s dialogue & episode 6’s title) But even If that’s what they’re going for it’s… Very Messy & poorly executed. It’s giving george lucas levels of “it’s all connected.”

it's just like. I mean I don't think it's wrong, everyone in undercity seems to at least know of each other so it doesn't feel wrong but it's like. well did we need it, like did it add anything? not that I want to remove felicias accomplishment of birthing jinx but we have 9 hours to wrap up all this shit we do not need that screen time to be spent on a flashback with two characters who have been dead longer than they've been on the screen. but it mostly just comes down to me not believing we need more information about vander and silcos divorce like their beef did its story function, I would leave that backstory for the future if we wanna sell something new jsjsjsk I bet you could get a one shot mini comic out of this and maybe that's the true intention

it wasn't even necessary to explain how he knew where vis childhood home would be because we already knew that shimmer guy that viktor recruited into scientology snitched on her to silco so we could have assumed he would just lead him there

I think if the arcane was intentionally like a cosmic entity that introduces endless patterns that you can't escape, it would have been a concept that is more interesting and difficult to execute than you can expect from the last 3 episodes jsjsjsk maybe they do want to include this layer there but I think it's just clunky writing, they are just doing this cycles of violence thing way too on the nose I mean how many fucking times can we kill or maim vander

I will also say!! idk how their current concept of the arcane connects to league yet because it feels like an entity that encapsulates all of runeterra should probably be very pivotal when you consider any champion or piece of lore that connects to the void. just because having a foreign predatory cosmic entity within the ssme world seems like it would piss off the current cosmic entity, how many can you fucking have?? I don't even like when people have the same name as me

[sushisocks]

pLEASE unleash your gatling gun rant on me... I am SO obsessed with things being accurate. I need to know what they got wrong and I love reading people just go off about this kind of stuff 👉👈

OKAY ALRIGHT Just remember you asked for this!!!

I've been thinking about this for SO LONG okay, so, backstory, back in early June I released a chapter for my fic that deals with that Pinkerton attack in Lakay, and part of that mission, you get to fuck around with a Gatling gun, right? It's not the first time we're fucking around with a Gatling gun, BUT, this is the chapter where I decided to sit down and do some preliminary research! I'm Norwegian and not super acquainted with guns in general, so researching them for my writing has been like a fun little thing I do sometimes.

Anyway, I realized that the guns they keep calling Gatlings are actually Maxim machine guns?? Idk if it’s slang or gang members genuinely not knowing better/the difference or what, because the characters keep calling them Gatlings, but even the game text has them labeled as Maxims! And if you're wondering what the difference is, it's actually a pretty big one!!

Gatlings have a CRANK, you know the old timey ones with wheels, where they have to crank a lever to keep firing bullets? THOSE are the Gatlings, they had the bullet chamber on top of the gun, and revolutionized warfare with how rapid-fire they shot -- the 1862 iteration can do 24 rounds in 5 seconds, according to a youtube video I found! Meaning just under 300 rounds a minute, if they'd been sustainable. BUT that was BEFORE 1882, when they improved the gun so it could sustain fire while being reloaded, upping round per minute to 400!!! Though I assume that implies a second person TO reload the gun, like I'm sure you've seen in movies that're supposed to be from around this era. Idk I'm not actually a gun expert but that's what makes sense to me.

Anyway, the Maxim gun does NOT have a hand-lever function, it actually has a trigger that you push in, a toggle lock, and steer around with handles. It also has a belt-feeding system from the side, and could fire up to 600 rounds per minute! (It COULD be operated by a lone person, though in war it was more common to have a team dealing with these too.)

So, mechanically, the Maxim gun is EXACTLY the make of which the machine guns you deal with in RDR2 are! You don't really have to deal with a crank, there are no wheels, and while they've removed the reloading issue from these guns entirely in the missions you have access to them, it still CLEARLY follows the Maxim-make in terms of where the ammo is being fed into it's side -- it has a box attached to it's side where you can SEE the belt being pulled from it and into the gun and the used casing being spit out at the other side (I played the Lakay mission several times writing that chapter, I LOOKED).

Let me tell you when I was doing this research and writing that chapter, I was SO ticked off about this mixup!! I was like "What do you do with that? What do I do about that, at this point? Rewrite the chapters/scenes prior where these guns have made an appearance? Just say fuck it?" Spoiler, I ended up saying fuck it and adhering to the Gatling gun name even though it IS CLEARLY NOT!!!!!

It’s such a minor thing that’s wrong too but I need you to understand that I’ve been thinking about this for months now. I cannot let it go. It haunts me. I am Captain Ahab aboard his ship, going mad in my search for the white whale, which in this instance is an understanding of what the fuck happened with the Gatling/Maxim gun mixup in RDR2.

[memento-morri-writes]

hi !! I was wondering if you have any dnd characters you wanna talk about :) (in response to ur tags on my post)

ARE YOU KIDDING ME, OF COURSE I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is going under the cut because I talk too much!

So, the love of my fucking life is my swashbuckler rogue, Rook. (art of him here and here.) He has a very, very fucked up backstory, which I talked about here. (mind the tws on that post.)

I posted several snippets of the prose version I did of my favorite session I've ever played with him here. (again, mind the tws.) (I will gladly share the link to that entire doc if anyone wants to read it, as I'm very proud of it.)

But to be brief, he's the bastard son of a nobleman who's father hated him. He ran away from home as a teen, booked it to the nearest port town, and joined the crew of a pirate ship, captained by a woman named Zara. She was his mentor for YEARS and taught him everything. She also gifted him his magic rapier.

He got named first mate, which some people took issue with since he was one of the youngest crew members. They betrayed him and kidnapped him, giving him to rival pirate captain Kora Wolf, who kept him prisoner for two years before he was able to escape.

He ran away and entered the Feywild and was hiding there for several months before he was recruited by the party.

Currently, my poor man is having a terrible time. Two of the his party members are close with Captain Wolf, and one of them bought her lies about Rook, and now doesn't trust him. On top of this, he's been cursed by a demon lord, which is currently affecting him by not letting him sleep, partly due to terrible nightmares.

He's a super interesting character because on one hand he's very paranoid and mistrusting (especially now with his lack of sleep), but he also has never been shown much kindness in life, and it doesn't take all that much for him to be willing to die for you. He's incredibly reckless and will dive into dangerous situations without a second's thought, especially to save his friends. He joined a pirate crew because he was terrified of getting stuck in one boring place, and that says a lot about him. He idolizes Zara, and I have NO IDEA how he'll react when he meets her again, since he never got to say goodbye and has changed so much in the nearly 3 years since he saw her. Our party's gunslinger lowkey adopted him, and after the scene I linked above, he told someone "I missed having someone to take care of." which almost broke me.

As you can tell, I'm obsessed with this man, and I love making his life miserable. But don't worry, he'll get his happy ending. I have plans for an Inigo Montoya-style revenge duel between him and Wolf, and it's gonna be great.

My other current character is Cyra (she/they), a fire genasi barbarian/fighter. She was raised by a cult-like warband following the destruction of her hometown as a child. Later, she ended up falling in "love" with the daughter of the leader, and having a very toxic, fucked-up relationship with her. She eventually realized how bad her situation was, and realized there was no saving her gf or changing her mind, so she ran off, stealing a sand skiff as she left. They're currently becoming buddies with our party rogue, which was completely unexpected to all of us, players and characters. Last session we left off mid-combat with undead pirates in attempts to get some cursed treasure. Oh, and they have a flaming metal quarterstaff that they can summon by pulling it out of their chest. Which a major villain (who happens to be the rogue's ex-wife) wants so badly she tried to rip it out of Cyra's chest...

As for other characters, I have some very, very fun concepts for a few, including:

Zenara (they/them): tiefling warlock who was an accidental mix of a bunch of character from Critical Role Campaign 2. Occasionally gets possessed by their patron and wakes up with no memories of the shit they've done.

Avra: shadar-kai/reborn assassin who should be dead, but woke up somehow "alive" again after a mission gone wrong.

Morana: character for a future pathfinder game that will happen someday. Autistic necromancer witch with a raven familiar. Creepy as hell and very morbid. No empathy and very practical, to a degree that other people occasionally find disconcerting. Exiled from her hometown for graverobbing and necromancy. Apprenticed under a guy who turned himself into a lich.

I have literally over 30 other character concepts, but most of them are not well-developed, and this post is already WAY too long.

Now, PLEASE, TELL ME EVERYTHING. I wanna hear about your characters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how long have you been playing? what's your favorite class? Tell me all about your fucked up little guys!!!

[probablyevilrpgideas]

I started thinking about Boris' story from the isekai I was posting chapters of here and what that story might be. Starting with who the necromancer who created him was.

I pretty much immediately decided it was a necromancer character i created awhile ago, and got a short chance to play, Kerila/Nisharven. They have a very distinctive appearance I created by melding together visual cues from xenomorphs, Yzma, The Sassomancer (props to @kadabura for such a cool character), and then added some of my own "way overthinking things" to, like how they actually style their hair like that. While Nisharven didn't have a particular race when i created them, Kerila was a githyanki.

I had recently watched a video talking about the Gith (tho i strongly disagree with Pointy Hat's taste, but then I'm an avowed xenophile, so), and decided i definitely wanted to use some of the Gith/mind flayer lore in Boris' backstory.

There's a small problem with that, but a fairly easily surmountable one- WotC claims the Gith and mind flayers as "Product Identity." Which is bullshit, because neither of them originate from D&D. The Gith were created by Charles Stross for a White Dwarf article, and the name was pulled from an old GRR Martin story. Mind Flayers are just starspawn of Cthulhu with the serial numbers and wings filed off. The Gith/Illithid war takes from a book by Larry Niven. So, I personally consider them fair game, since they represent a history of artistic theft. I just need to call them something different and make a few differences.

And given that I actually think about how fantasy species and cultures function, that's easy to do.

Which is a long ass prologue for what I actually am making this post to talk about:

How To Create Truly Alien Cultures

Mind Flayers are described as utterly alien in mind and body. They see themselves as the apex of life, superior to all other life, and as destined to rule the multiverse, creating order under their rubbery grasp.

They see "lesser" lifeforms as only fit to be food, brainwashed thralls, or, essentially, breeding stock. They believe that they are giving these creatures "a gift" when they eat their brains.

These two things don't fucking compute.

This "we are superior to you, and true order can only be found if you submit to our rule" bullshit is all too fucking human. If this is your take on illithids, they're not alien, they're Nazis with squids for heads and slightly more complex justifications.

But, I read up on the canon, because there's this inherent tension between "we eat brains" and "we reproduce by putting our larva in brains." I wanted to see what the existing lore was to see if I needed to square that circle. I don't. A mind flayer only *needs* one brain a month because they actually primarily subsist on the psionic energy of the brain. A mind flayer who can might eat one or two brains a week, but in general they eat a brain every couple weeks, along with other things, such as organs other than brains, which are like healthy snacks to them since they contain the non-psionic stuff their bodies need.

But the lore also contains the seeds to actually start making them genuinely alien.

Let's start with the thing I remembered and didn't need the lore to refresh my memory on- for an Illithid, the Good Ending of life is for their brain to be put in their home elder brain's pool to become one with it. Every Illithid, no matter their personal goals, unless they've gone rogue or something, is aiming for an afterlife where they become one with the ruler of their personal community. That is Illithid Heaven.

Now, the things I needed the lore to remind me of-

When an Illithid consumes a brain, they receive the memories, personality, etc of the person whose brain they eat. The mind of the victim is absorbed into the Illithid's own mind.

There is one major point of lore I discard, the idea that illithids have no gender and instead individually lay one or two clutches of eggs in their lifespans. Like, I'm here for genderfuckery, but if we're going to make aliens, let's fucking make aliens. Have the tadpoles spawn directly from the elder brain through budding.

This is how you make the "brain consumption is a gift" thing work from the mind flayers' perspective!

The Cycle of One and Self

Ok, so, first you have to step into the webbed, two-toed feet of a mind flayer. You value your individuality, but also long to return to the elder brain which spawned them. For you, your individual life is but a short time in which you serve as a node of the community, to accomplish its goals away from the pool.

Further, you absorb non-illithids into your number when you eat. You don't see the act of consumption as an end of that person, you see it as helping them ascend to be part of a greater whole, which you likewise wish to ascend to. Your brain and mind is a way station for those who were not spawned from the Great One and are not destined to become extensions of it through ceremorphosis.

Now, we can understand this way of thinking, from an academic sense, but it's substantially non-human, in a way that "you are lesser beings and must be controlled by us superior beings" isn't. It gives the illithids a philosophy and a pathos that a person can almost sympathize with, but not, because to accept that perspective, one must sort themselves into "food."

This isn't a whole genuine alien mindset, but it's a good start. A much better start than, say, "look they just do things that seem random, but that's because we don't understand them." There's a logic, however abhorrent or frightening. It actually makes internal sense and isn't just "this is a thing we don't like to think of historical human actions, so it seems alien to us."

[chambergambit]

tearing up over imaginary situations

So a couple days ago, someone on r/writing asked for advice about writing romance, because while they believe their characters would make a good couple, they're not sure how to turn them into one. They also mentioned that the characters were going on a long journey together. I responded with a vague outline of a "romance on a long journey" journey, and it... gave me feels? Like I got emotional about the love between two characters with no names or backstories lol. I decided to share, just in case someone else can appreciate it. _

For characters on a long journey, it's the slow accumulation of casual intimacy. They share clothes, see each other bathe, know what their bed head looks like, etc. Then, it's the anticipation of each other's needs. Ordering their favorite food without having to be asked, pulling into a rest stop so the other can stretch their legs bc they already know how much sitting they can stand.

They both notice they've caught feelings, but neither wants to admit it in case they get rejected and ruin the friendship, but, ironically, the casual intimacy starts becoming awkward, and it's upsetting in ways they don't really understand. They've stopped at a bar and one of them gets hit on, and even though they turn the admirer down, just the idea of them being with someone else is gut-wrenching. They overreact to it, causing a fight.

They spend some time apart, which sucks. without their beloved, the world becomes... rougher. uglier. crueler. time to swallow some pride, apologize, and confess.

they kiss, then laugh at how long the mutual pining has been fucking with them. they could've been kissing the whole time! they're so stupid, haha.

someone says something like "you've... seeped into me. I trust you. with my life, with my roadtrip snacks, but not with the aux cord because there's only so much abba i can stand, y’know? I just… love you."

[the-drunken-huntsman]

Hiii arr u willing to answer all the TES months asks for Aneis and Murza and Dire please please please :} I know that's a Lot so if u want to skip over some that is totally understandable hehe

Morning Star - What was the first thing you gave your OC? Name, backstory, design, etc

Aneis: I guess technically the first thing I gave her was her name, even though I've since changed the spelling. I had liked the name Anais before picking up Skyrim (even though I was pronouncing it wrong lol) and had used it for my PC in Pokémon Sword and one of my SDV saves so I just used it again when I started Skyrim. Also side note, I've never watched The Amazing World of Gumball before today while babysitting and I had no clue that was the little sister's name.

Murza: The first thing I came up with for her was just a vague concept. I wanted to play around with mismatched race/class, so of course the first thing I wanted was an orc mage. The second thing I decided for her was that she was gonna be trans because hell yeah.

Dire: The first thing I came up with for him was also a vague concept. I had wanted to make a chaotic evil demigod type character and even though he's changed a lot since initial concept I figured the best way to achieve that would be to make him a demiprince. I wanted him to be kind of conniving and sly and settled on making him the son of Clavicus to get there. Originally he was going to be another one of Aneis' companions who was tagging along just for the vain glory of being a part of the dragonborn's adventures but you know how OCs sometimes seem to have a mind of their own and he eventually got to where he is now :)

Sun's Dawn - Does your OC have a love interest? What is their relationship like?

Aneis: Aneis was always a pretty promiscuous person. She knew she'd have to make Teldryn another one of her conquests from the first moment she saw him without the helmet. They hooked up a few times while traveling on Solstheim, but while going through Nchardak trying to get to the Black Book, he used his whole body to shield her from an automaton that had caught her off guard and that was it, she was done. That night in Severin Manor she sits him down and is like. Look, don't be alarmed and please don't leave because I still need you to guide me around this gods forsaken island. But I think I'm in love with you. To which Teldryn is like

Murza: You know the "me doing whatever my hot witch wife wants" meme? That's Murza and Endurys. However before they were married they were the epitome of idiots in love. Just stupid long stares and longing sighs in camp at night until one day Aneis snaps and shoves them in an inn room together and yells at them to not come out until they've fucked all the yearning out.

Dire: Dire is aroace do no romantic interests for him! But his absolute favorite people in the world are his little cousins and his little brother

First Seed - Does your OC have any enemies or rivals? How did these rivalries start?

Aneis: I know there's lots of people who read into the LDB's relationship to Miraak and how tragic his story is and blah blah blah, he makes my blood boil so Aneis feels the exact same way. As opposed to any other big bad she faces, (Harkon is Serana's White Whale before anyone else, Ulfric had to go for the well-being of the people in her opinion, and defeating Alduin was more for the people she loved and needed to protect than anything else) Miraak makes it personal for her, acting like some sort of sibling rival to her when Akatosh is nothing more to her than a perverted puppet master playing with her fate. She actually loathes any of the Dovah who call her sister without having earned that respect from her first (like Paarthurnax and Odahviing have). As far as she's concerned she only has one father and he never used her to clean up his messes, he gave his life trying to protect his homeland from the Dominion.

Murza: I've been wanting to play around with the concept of Savos Aren being the big bad of the College Quest line as opposed to Ancano. Like Ancano is still evil and shit, but like, Aren was actually in league with him the whole time. He needed the Thalmor's resources to get him to the Eye and the Staff and the second he has what he needs he betrays their shaky alliance. Anyway yeah I think Murza would kinda always be wary of Savos and it would also legitimize her succeeding him as opposed to any other member of the staff if she's the one who was able to fell him.

Dire: I wouldn't say Dire had any real enemies or rivals. I'm kinda keeping his story once he goes adventuring on his own open because of TES:VI supposedly being eminent and I might want to use him in that game. So as of right now, in the Skyrim timeline, he's just a lil guy? Who could hate that?

Rain's Hand - Can your OC use magic? If so what Schools?

Aneis: Aneis knows three spells: close wounds, clairvoyance, and muffle. All taught to her by her father as they're the most useful out in the wild while tracking prey. She can also do a bit of fire magic, but nothing more than just enough to light a campfire. She might later learn heal undead for the sake of Serana though.

Murza: I'm not sure what to say for her. She's the arch mage of course she uses magic. I guess she is particularly adept at conjuration, being a follower of Malacath and having a half daedric son

Dire: Dire would mostly be adept with alteration and illusion, but also conjuration because duh. I could see him as a very small child, using alteration to make his toys move without touching them, a slightly older child summoning small beasts from oblivion to play with (maybe even Uncle Barbas), and when his cousins are babies, using illusion to calm them down and keep them entertained.

Second Seed - Is your OC an alchemist? What do they excel at making?

Aneis: Araneth, Aneis' mother, was an apothecary. In the same way her father passed his hunting prowess to her, her mother also tried to give her as much of her knowledge as she could as well. She didn't much get it or appreciate it while her mother was alive, but later in life she put the effort into actually trying to understand her mother's teachings. She eventually becomes about as skilled as your average professional alchemist.

Murza: Gonna preface this with the fact that I still consider alchemy a school of magic even though it counts as a thief's skill in Skyrim. Anyway I think it would be the one school to slip her grasp. It's just too... material. Breaking an enemy's mind with a flick of her wrist? Summoning a sword from Oblivion that weighs nothing in hand but can slice through trees? Those are the kinds of esoteric things that Murza understands. Plants that need to be boiled at a certain temperature and creatures' innards that need to be removed in an exact precise manner? May as well be Dwemeris to her.

Dire: Dire is like his mother in that alchemy is just too far over his head. But he isn't as frustrated about his lack of comprehension as she is. Why would he need to worry about mixing potions when he can just find them well and good for the taking in every dungeon in Tamriel?

Mid Year - Does your OC have a favourite celebration? Do they celebrate holidays?

Aneis: Hircine's summoning day is a very special time for her. She always spends days hunting before hand, trying to gather as much a variety of pelts and trophies as she can for her offering. This is even though, as his champion, they are definitely not necessary, the woman fells dragons in his name. However she always prepares as much as she can for him, and once summoned she always has the same simple request for him. To deliver a message to her family in the Hunting Grounds, that she loves them, and misses them, and hopes she is making them proud.

Murza: Murza always tries to make it a point to be home at Lakeview Manor for the Witches Fest. She loves seeing the children dressed up and doing little tricks to entertain them. (This goes along with the headcanon that Lakeview Manor would eventually have a little village crop up around it)

Dire: He would very much enjoy the Jester's Festival, but his absolute favorite is Clavicus' summoning day. I've joked before that it's the only time he gets to play catch with his dad, but since he is also a small aspect of Vile in and of himself, I think the whole day he'd just feel a little closer to Oblivion and it makes him feel whole.

Sun's Height - What is your OC's favourite shop, in any of the games; what do they buy the most of?

Aneis: Aneis adores The Drunken Huntsman. Anoriath is a very talented fletcher and Elrindir is always game to swap hunting stories. They make the whole establishment feel like what she's been missing from Valenwood all these years away, even as a wooded building. They're probably the only people in Tamriel she trusts to service her family bow.

Murza: Murza actually likes hanging around Tel Mithryn. Neloth always has interesting, useful things to sell to her and she suspects he likes her company as she's much quicker to catch onto his teachings than his actual apprentice (sorry, Talvas).

Dire: Even though Enthir's displeasure at having a child on college grounds was always well known to Dire, he still likes bugging him to show him all the weird, cool things he has for sale, which he has no intention of buying. Just looking and maybe a little swiping to play with later.

Last Seed - What weapon does your OC use? Who taught them how to use it?

Aneis: Aneis' main weapons are her family's heirloom bow and the battleaxe gifted to her by Balgruuf. Her father taught her how to shoot and she's self taught with the axe. She'd honestly never touched a two handed weapon in her life before but she thought the nords might think it a great insult for her to not use a weapon gifted to her by the Jarl, so she just swung it around until she found what felt good and did the most damage.

Murza: Murza got her base knowledge of magic from Atub, but growing up in the stronghold she was also expected to learn to swing a sword. Though the swords she uses now are less... mundane. She uses summoned weapons. Idk if that got across lol.

Dire: Dire has had a natural affinity for magic since birth but he hones his craft under the tutelage of his mother and the other professors of Winterhold.

Hearthfire - Does your OC have a family (blood or found)? Who are they closest to?

I can answer this generally for all three characters. The whole of the found family (the people who live at Lakeview Manor) are Aneis, Murza, Teldryn, Endurys, Dire, Hab, Cinuri, Braiel, and the dogs, Sable and Merc. Aneis and Murza are closest to each other platonically, and though he'd never admit it, Dire is closest to Cinuri, she's his best friend.

Frost Fall - Where is your OC's primary residence? What city is there favourite?

Aneis: Aneis knows most of the Bosmer living in Skyrim find The Rift to be the closest approximate to their homeland, she finds the quite, backwoods nature of Falkreath reminds her much more of the area she grew up in. Of course she loves her quite little life on the homestead, surrounded by all her loved ones.

Murza: Technically, Murza's main residence is the college, but she tends not to spend much time there, mainly because she gets lonely. Endurys hates the cold having grown up in the shit hole of Eastmarch and avoids the college as much as possible and Aneis only goes if she's asked to specifically by Murza. So she ends up spending most of her year in Lakeview.

Dire: His parents have determined its much better for him to grow up in an actual stable home surrounded by actual stable adults, so most of his childhood is spent in Lakeview. However, once in a while, Murza will bring him with her on her trips to the college and he loves it. So many places to explore and get into trouble and so many people to bug until they relent and teach him something new.

Sun's Dusk - Is your OC religious? If so, who do they follow?

Aneis: Aneis' grandmother was a priestess of Hircine, her father a priest, and the rest of her family devotees. Their whole devotion is based on having such hunting prowess on their own, they have no need for the gift of the beast blood. This of course culminated in Aneis literally being born to be the greatest hunter of the greatest prey, the Last Dragonborn.

Murza: Murza has always felt like an outsider, even within her own tribe growing up, so she finds a lot of solace in the tenants of Malacath. She also keeps a quiet reverence for Dibella, as her priestesses were the ones who helped her become her most true self.

Dire: Dire doesn't really necessarily worship Clavicus Vile, he just kinda has this air of thankfulness around the subject of his daedric parent. After all it is through his connection to Oblivion that he is able to help so many people and keep his family together in the afterlife.

Evening Star - When is your OC's birthday?

Aneis: 27th of Hearthfire, 4E 153

Murza: 21st of Sun's Dusk, 4E 165

Dire: 30th of Mid Year, 4E 206

[seancamerons]

What are some of your favorite headcanons about Sean?

dude you have no idea, so if you don't know, when i love a character I make up entire elaborate backstories and the rest under the cut/read more.😊

first we got -

sean is 1 of 3 brothers. when his veparents were hs seniors they had 9 months later a baby boy, his name was carson. they shortly married at their local church strong armed by family. so that's the oldest. they were estranged for a long time. he'd been incarcerated since he was 18, for drugs and petty theft but he went away bc his friend hit a guy drunk driving and was charged with 3rd degree vehicular manslaughter or something like bad, like a 6 year thing, the person died etc so he was in jail most of sean's forminative years. he screwed up and he paid for it and sean was without being bullied by his older brother and such. tracker was also but they don't like talk at all. at least sean and carson had good times even when he was terrorizing him and tracker. tracker never let it happen he'd protect sean from carson's moods, unpredictable and violence. im not sure how this story came about but it only deepened when i started getting into shows in the teen drama variety and remembering things from the show contextual clues and whatever. so three bros, jail, hardworker and all drop outs - but sean was supposed to be the boy to finally graduate and make everyone proud and get out of wasaga. that were his goals. he had all that but the graduation and instead enlisted but idk how that all went. i assume good. i can see it going a few was. i think sean is alive and doing well. he works, till works out still handsome maybe has facial hair.

so more specificly - sean is the baby of his family. the bonus child, sad. totally a whoops, but still loved and maybe even coddled more the parents know they've been neglectful but he's loved and considered and has friends doing good, but maybe not as than perhaps the oldest carson who was when they were teens themselves and didn't know what they were doing, tracker who came later who at first were fine but their addictions to alcohol at home started later and sean bore the brunt and saw their parents at their absolute worse. totally a shitshow. by then carson was fucked up and incarcerated, his parents still doted as he was their oldest son and they kind of were young and should've never been that out of control but he got a rough hand and i kind of base that like how ryan atwood from the oc had this brother who was in jail the reason he even was in newport in so many ways but by then ryan had changed and trey i assume - similar to carson. this makes tracker the older, a bit wiser, less in trouble, family duty kind of good guy who tries his best but maybe is also cursed with the cameron destructo genes but also made it a good life for himself, helps his young brother after his brush with violence and such and put him out of harms way, at his mom's request to him. i don't think this was selfish NOW WE CHILDFREE WE CAN DRINK ALL THE TIME. no i don't think they wanted to drink, i think their body craved it so bad they NEEDED to drink but they ost the 'fun' of being buzzed or blitzed and rather needed it to stop feeling pain and numb, self medicate even if it's bad for them and the reason for 90 percent of their misfortunates like it or not. realistic, bleak and fucking dark. i also set some of my stories up to where they're adults dealing with this stuff because like it or not this fandom has a lot of adults and im sure they don't want a fluff fest where people are all honky dorey. i hate perfect people, so all my girls and guys are flawed but some people are super good people but live and exist in bad times or bad situations like 90 percent of people out here like it or not.

so for example in the story (backtrack) carson plays more of a active role in from his start, he wants to do better and change like trey atwood did after everything with getting released but then he started bad habits and hanging out with that girl and coming onto Marissa who just wanted to be nice and help him out, but he actually commits to it and finds happiness and becomes close with sean over a time. as kids he was tormenting him and calling him what he assumed a mistake and it explains how sean is because he's very mean to himself. he bullies himself or makes himself feel bad when good things are happening. anway carson based on sean. tracker is named after the father but like leave it to beaver - baby sean couldn't say scott but loved calling him tracker because of his tractor pajamas or his love of vechiles and his name kind of stuck. even now it's tracker, scott is their dad. tracker is tracker, sean's middle name in his backstory had been hope. so sean hope, i assume his mother watched soaps and watched ryan's hope or something (it used to be on soapnet i swear its related!) it's older than old but it's an older show about a young Irish family who settled in the Americas but in the present so they've got these thick Irish accent and they own a pub or at least someone does when they immigrated and all congretate and drama ensued.

i just wanted to sidebar this and say i did watch a lot of soaps as a kid, perhaps that's why i love making up stories. i used to do with my barbies too. when my mom would watch court tv for like OJ Simpson i'd be playing with my dolls and creating plots for them like it was days of our lives or all my children in my barbie dream house. i was kind of made to do that stuff. even with the grusome details and gory things i heard or didn't 'get', it was weird juxtaposition of adult shit and adult shit i assume is romantic adult shit. this is no different.

i watched days and all my children (my mom preferred amc)

i also used to watch springer and maury in the summer or when i was ill! so like the drama is still seared there, i mean with mary from paterinity or bad kids BootCamp kind of episodes, there was the maury drama stuff. also the weird competition reality shows like rock of love and flavor of love or the reformed ladies of both of these shows would be on the charm school and such and then Megan wanted a billionaire and got a murderer and the whole shebang fell apart. now vh1 plays trash. I'm obsessed with the 1980s thanks to that channel i love times like that you know, when i wasn't alive but would've loved to live at that time/place.

okay end rant.

so that's just one big large explanation. in short i can go on forever. is shared a lot of headcanons but that's one. ask if you want to hear some more. this is a bit weird bc i shouldn't think this deeply about the fictional but hey.

okay fine, you caught me in a good mood, and i think you're awesome - one more headcanon for sean:

the tattoo is real. jay's too.

i love platonic as well as romantic friendships or love between close friends, but in a strictly platonic way and of course romance in every sense but the point is, you can be soulmates in a friend kind of way. i believe that's true for jalex. they were best friends i think. the show establishes them as young kids, in love or affectionate, but also had history for a long time and maybe there's a lot we do not know about their lives pre show or after. do they talk? 100 percent.

so jay and sean got tatted. sean has a lot of friends in wasaga (in degrassi he has none) so when he first came back to degrassi and had all these friends, one big bad bully tyler (the guy who got him back over to) and of course you knew what comes next.

one of sean's friends is like a tat apprentiece. she's new and she wanted to ink a friend. sean trusts her judgment and he agreed, jay and him had a "if you do it, I'll do it" when asked what they wanted they were told, "Make sure you love it and have no regrets because it's perminant." by this time in his life this is between season 4 and season 6 a lot had happened but over that time sean had realized he cares about emma way more than a friend and she had like it or not moved on but at this time he had no idea about that. jay was instrumental but didn't tell at that time. he'd visit him and give him the low down. so the friend who is an artist apprentice who needs to practice took it, and she's still got to get used to skin as opposed to lettering and details so it looks mighty rough. but they both said out loud from their room one guy was on one side, and the other guy was in the other chair.

"emma" sean quietly answers. "spelled e m m a"

"alex" jay announced. "self explanitory."

sean's friend her name is sabrina, often called brina or bree asks them as she's working on the lettering and they're sitting tight in the office. jay actually doesn't tease sean about emma or getting inked. by this time ellie hadn't been a blip on the radar, but emma had been on his mind. she was the first face he saw as she drove away, and the first face he wanted to see if and when he comes back to town.

they talk abiout the girls in their lives. by this point jay had alex had been split up and he more than anything wanted to be like before, before when they were everything to each other. he didn't want to forget her. he didn't want to not be her friend, and he fucked up their relationship and this was his way of memorializing their relationship.

for emma she was close to his heart, hence the chest as the location of this tattoo and he truthfully feels like connected even if they're apart.

long story short, the tats were a secret. emma unless they bumped uglies probably never found out about the tat, unless they had the kind of secs where he wasn't shirtless but it's sean cameron of fucking course she's gonna have no shirt in that (sorry just a headcanon) i mean there was a reason he was often at home dressed like in wifebeaters or shirtless playing sports with the guys) im sure at home he dresses in as little as he can so shorts/tank top no hodies unless its cold and he works out frequently in his non heated/non ac or hot apt. im sure air is expensive fans are expensive and water is expensive so he's living in the now for sure but once he returned back to 'get the diploma;, he justified setting his eyes and heart onto emma. i do believe he had goals, but he truly more than anything missed emma.

say what you will but his heart is often found in the right place. he might have flaws, but he is deep down a wonderful guy with a sad life. six was a disservice to him and his legacy for being a little bit mushy in the inside heart of gold, hero complex but also a great guy to have in your corner. that's him.

so when he said (paraphrasing this) he didn't want to come back for all the things he'd said, what he really wanted was love from her. he loved her and he also hurt her. sometimes he hurt the people he loved, or who loved him, and felt bad later because in the heart of the moment with his words he burned all those bridges. such as when he stole from Simpson. i don't know if emma was ever proven right to her face, she sounds like assuming without knowing but assuming that something was said. he says to her, he pretty much came back to be around her again.

i do believe the scene in the basement in the 2nd part of "here comes your man" clearly he wanted to confess a little bit about that but she kind of set the boundary she can't care about it because

1. she's got peter/he needs her even if they'd had a lot of build up and yet she can't be her real self.

2. manny clearly has something against sean over peter (what even was that?) i wouldn't be nice to him either tbh.

3. i don't think she doesn't care, it's that it's hard for her to imagine that because she'd been burned in the past not just by him, but his departure, or indirectly through hurled insults and other things throughout her life experience/lived experience attending degrassi!

4. a secret option idk combination of 2/5

5. all the above!

either way this kind of breaks sean's heart (teeny bit) and she begs him to turn himself in, or suggests this is the only way but that was a sad thing. he got hauled off and shit and peter got what? slap on the wrist - why did the writers love him? he sucks. peter got away with too much.

the worst thing sean did wouldn't equate peter's worse - like what he did to manny? inexcusable. what a bad guy. why was manny defending him, and i don't wanna hear the obvious, "oh he stood by your side during your eating disorder!"

no, i aint buying they're doing the sexy shit either. so seeing sean, who i believe she was attracted to him beyond looks but they sure didn't make it a issue because he had the package - handsome and such, but also messing up a bit bc the street races were illegal and what they were doing was no question illegal and morally grey.

also why tf jay sabotogue sean like that and tell him to run? when is any vechiular thing warrant them to idk. but he did and stuff and we all know it was nothing. either he didn't know that running from the scene as his friend told him to do bc that there is a hit and run OR jay wanted to cause sean grief for some weird reason or things just went down and he panicked and didn't want sean to go to jail, and thought it'd be better if he ran but still. so i gave you a bunch of things to sort through.

💐💌ty for the message!

[lonelywriter26]

Okay. So I think I've established I'm mentally ill. And I'm thinking about a character, so I'm forcing the people who follow me to hear about them. Cool? Cool.

I've got this little OC named The Groundskeeper. They started as a joke. They are no longer a joke. I love them. Here we go.

Avery "Aster" Hatchaway, probably like, mid 20s. He/They pronouns, he will take your gender and you can DEAL WITH IT. He worked at a flower shop right out of college and really liked it, made some good friends, got a little apartment, life is good. The flower shop ends up closing and he's like "Shit, I need a new job."

So he looks for jobs, finds out he can get a job as a groundskeeper at a local cemetery. Sure. Why not. He can still do all his planting that he likes while listening to music, the pay is shockingly good, and he needs a new job anyway. He goes, gets the interview, and gets the job. Before he does though, the interviewer (who's the old groundskeeper) is like "Hey, so you're going to have to work nights sometimes and it might get weird" and Avery is like "Sure, whatever, I can do that."

So they go and start working. Job is good, they're good at it. One thing they don't realize: Because they aren't talking to anybody, they don't realize they've begun to refer to themselves as "The Groundskeeper" while in the graveyard. They forget about their name while on the clock. But they don't exactly realize it, and they spend like, a week with the job.

Then, their first nightshift comes. And it's fine for like, an hour or two. They're mostly just confused on why they've been stuck there at night, but fine, why not fuck up their sleep schedule for the day. Then, they hear things. Long story short, paranormal shit happens, the Groundskeeper, reasonably, tries to leave, only to find the gate locked and a note there (Hello Jon, apologies for the deception-💥) basically explaining they can't leave yet, cause yada yada keep the supernatural stuff in check.

So, The Groundskeeper survives. Clearly. And after their shift they immediately go to the old groundskeeper and is like "Why the FUCK wouldn't you tell me??" "I did warn you." "You didn't warn me of SHIT-"

They're mad. They're terrified of the ghosts. But they also need money, so they keep the job, and eventually fall into the rhythm of keeping the supernatural entities who live in the graveyard in check while also maintaining the place. It's fun. They're basically Jon from TMA on a smaller scale. (In the sense that they signed themselves up to deal with paranormal bullshit, I haven't actually finished the podcast so don't come at me-)

Okay. Backstory rant over. Here's some facts about them:

-They have a little toolbelt that holds: A supernatural book they found, a flashlight, extra batteries, scissors, a screwdriver, their phone, and their earbuds.

-They got lost in a liminal space beneath a crypt once because of a ghost trying to fuck with them.

-They got thrown down the stairs of an underground crypt once and needed stitches after.

-They really fucking hate crypts (I wonder why.)

-They dislike coffee and rely on sugar to stay awake.

-The book they keep on them can light things on fire. No, they don't know how it does that.

-They're a cat person, but they think dogs are cute.

-They had to perform an exorcism on a kid who snuck in one night, played with an ouija board, and got possessed.

-They like to draw but aren't good at it.

-They'd have a tumblr account.

-They aren't afraid of the dark, but if they're alone and they think too much about it, they'll get paranoid.

-They definitely saw the FNAF movie.

-They're a gamer.

-They're traumatized but certainly not as bad as they could be.

-They have not told any of their friends about what this job actually entails.

-They're on good terms with a few supernatural entities, including some ghosts and the Näcken that lives in the pond. It's a big cemetery. There's a pond.

Look. It's them. They're probably half awake.

[fandoms-of-a-random-existence]

2, 14, 19 for OCverse asks!!

Ohohoho!! I will be completely honest this is the 2nd time I'm typing this all out bc I got distracted by a notification and by the time I got back (3 seconds later) my words had been lost to the void. Anyways! I've got a handful of different projects all running around amuck, but I rolled a dice and today we're gonna talk about [Unnamed Space Train Murder Mystery]!! Admittedly the newest and roughest round the edges but They Are In My Brain <3

Okay whipping out question screenshots for memory purposes!

Well if they weren't paying that much attention it'd probably be like "wait they actually put train tracks in space", "that is a lot of confusing/complicated politics rolling in the background", "Capitalism (extremely derogatory)", and perhaps "wait if that's one of the few characters with a solid name what's with calling him white hair and trauma all the time" (in my defense while Mneme has a solid Working Name TM (honestly the entire concept of Names in this place sure has Layers) white hair and trauma is funnier to me personally)

This is honestly such a hard question bc I am enjoying pretty much all of it (except the writing. Arguably the most important bit. Um. Its fine don't worry about it /j) but I'd say it's the overall worldbuilding and how I can fold character backstories to resonate or build them from the ground up with whatever new nugget of information I've gleaned about this dystopian nightmare land. But also since I mentioned it before it's also the little things like how none of the train workers work under the name they signed their contracts under and how Titles Mean More Than You'd Think and how "true names" depend on who we're talking about, there's one guy who goes by his preferred LAST name and while his sister has a legal name for the contract what she'd consider her "true name" is actually her Working One and I'm just. Brainrot <3

Gosh I think about the train workers SO MUCH there's only a few who are especially plot relevant but the working conditions in Fucked Up Capitalist Dystopia Land are as awful as those words imply. Possibly worse. Can't wait til that gets kicked in. But back to my point!! They've all just got ridiculous bonds to each other they care and support they're so found family what do you mean about that poisoning attempt?? What's a little attempted murder between friends?? (Also while I cannot explain the unhinged dynamics between those two at 3 am, just know 2 seconds after witnessing the person they were trying to poison actually take the cup, in a frantic manner that one would not expect of the person, you know, actually having set this up, the poisoner grabbed the cup, chugged the entire thing and then spent the next week Utterly Miserable (because of drinking poison) also there's another guy who has killed in defense of the others before and Will Kill Again (not the actual plot investigated murder. Honestly this guy's Main Victim (ie, the one he'd most get in trouble for) is actually presumed alive for most if not all the first book or so

Anywhatzits it is now 3 am and I have come to the realization I really should be sleeping now but also! The ocs <333

[getmemymicroscope]

On the one hand, this is like very typical Bollywood. Larger-than-life hero (a cop, of course) has to save the world (women and children in this case, especially young girls) from a creepy old dude villain who has apparently become super rich and powerful and just uses that power to ... well, traffic children (the world is fucking sick). Oh, and of course, getting his son to be a minister literally by just announcing "he's a minister now" (I'm pretty sure that is how it works if you're rich, anyways). And in a story format that seems annoying frequent now - the movie starts in the present, then something happens and we essentially get a half movie-long flashback about the past (usually mostly a love story, with some tie-in to the current problems he is going to have, and why our hero has run from that and is now hiding in plain sight), complete with a tragic backstory and, as is very common, the death of his lady love (I'm reminded, for example, of Boss, and Bachchhan Paandey, amongst others). There's also a sort of montage of scenes when he's taking down the baddies life that is just quickly glossed over in said montage - business, power, and money all gone in just a couple of movie minutes - that gave me flashbacks to like 90s Bollywood (I'm thinking maybe it was Dilwale that did something like that?; oh, and some flashbacks to Jawan too). Oh, and of course, corrupt cops (though, on the plus side, none of our "good" guys end up being moles or betrayers, thankfully).

It's not a bad movie, really. Overly glamorized violence, overly emphatic on being "stylish" - see the fight scene at the bakery, for example - but, all in all, pretty entertaining. I mean, there are bits in the flashbacks where it drags, and at the beginning, when his daughter (why does she call him Baby John?) essentially has him chase down a man because his car ran over a puddle and got her wet, is maybe a bit much - but, overall, yeah. It's not bad. I'll watch the sequel, if they ever make it - Bollywood seems to enjoy talking up sequels and then disappearing the ideas.

Rajpal Yadav hasn't really had this type of serious role in a while; it was fun to see. His sorta-monologue after they've just met with Jackie's character is great. And is so on point with regards to everything - the lack of morality in people, the lack of humanity, the disgustingness of the rich/powerful greedy asshats, and just how ridiculous it is that this shit keeps happening and no one that can do anything does anything. Both lead actresses are obviously sort of sidelined - half of the movie each - but they're effective. The scene with him and his mom after she meets his girlfriend is odd: what mom would react like that given the situation? Sure, it sets up a scene later and some emotion and laughs, but like, get rid of the movie angle and its just a really fucking weird/stupid reaction to have.

Mostly, the thing that bugs me most is the name. I get it - it is called Baby John because she calls him Baby John. But why the fuck does she call him Baby John - show that backstory. (Unless it's boring, then don't.) The second biggest thing - the random cut that happens where they're at the bridge and he's like "one person is missing" and then they're racing back and suddenly we're with her and she's taken the last guy and suddenly he's with the cops and the guy is like "we'll get to the head of this snake soon" (everyone already knows who the snake is - you have him in jail!) and then suddenly she's back at the cafe and is like "tell me more." Like, what the fuck just happened? The cop essentially just disappears again until he has to die, the bad guy disappears period, and her "back story" essentially goes untouched except for 1 more pointless flashback (both of the brief, quick flashbacks about her past are completely useless and add absolutely nothing to the story or to her, since she only gets 1 random fight scene before being knocked out and becoming a damsel in distress). Also, a bit earlier, when the folks show up at the cafe and at the same time, somewhere else, the cop is pretending to deliver a girl to the baddies so he can get his daughter back - and that story also goes nowhere except suddenly both groups of people know who John is. The storytelling was so busy being stylish it forgot to give some time to just be clear.

Sadly, all these stories about child trafficking and rape don't lead to any improvement. This disgusting shit continues on and on, and the rich folks just continue to let it happen (and indulge in it). Stain on humanity, the lot of them.

Nain Matakka is annoyingly catchy.