#they're not dead whatever you say Sausage

[azalte]

More sketchbook drawings because that's literally all I'm doing (I'm having so much fun, I swear)

Anyway, so Shelby and Katherine !!!!

[syn4k]

Old habits die hard.

Pixlriffs knows this because as soon as fWhip explains what the little copper coin he holds up in one hand does, shining under the sweltering sun of a humid jungle, he feels a little shiver run down his back.

"No lore," says fWhip, hand holding the coin still raised, gaze sweeping the crowd. Pix doesn't know if he's being serious or not. "We're all just friends playing Minecraft here."

Someone snickers. Sausage says something under his breath that might be a swear and might be an apology. fWhip flips the coin with one elegant flick of the thumb and with that, they're all off.

Pix can't help it. The rule is broken in half by the time the sun sets.

"And anyways," Pix continues, turning to the chicken that stands next to him with huge, innocent eyes, "if fWhip was being serious about that rule then he shouldn't have made this the premise and invited me, of all people. Like, come on. He was there for that. He should have known this was coming."

The chicken does not respond. Pix does not expect it to. He's just being silly while talking to himself, anyways. Chickens can't talk, the night has arrived, and he has one hell of a hole to dig.

He'd made up his mind about fifteen minutes in that he wasn't going to add Mending to his tools, he wasn't going to let them dissolve into dust, and he was going to try his damn best to continue to honor death as best he could.

Pix had taken an oath back in Pixandria to respect the dead and honor their memory as best he could for as long as his life lasted, and given that he ended up being immortal, he figured it'd be stupid to not at least try to carry that over on a server where death had been twisted into such an odd form.

Old habits die hard, especially for an immortal.

Pixl keeps to himself and tells nobody of his plans. If they ask what the huge geometric monuments ringing the edge of his circular perimeter are for, he'll gladly tell them. There's rules and then there's rules. fWhip can say whatever he wants, but Pix had it drummed into him from a very early age that if you give up the right to respect the dead, you give up the right to respect for yourself.

Besides, Owen and Eloise did him one hell of a favor bailing him out as soon as they did. The least he can do in return is promise to respect them in the best way he knows how when they kick it.

The sun's rising now, bright gold above the steaming jungle canopy. Pix glances at it for a bit, eyes shaded, before hopping back down into the now gaping hole in the landscape to continue digging. Ever since he was revived, he's tasted copper.

Pix takes that as a sign.

[shikariiin]

Say do your TTTE dogs/dog au have a preferred treat? Maybe something like sliced apples?

Oh yes they do!!

Writing this in the dark, excuse the typos~

Thomas

As a pup he loves to chew on anything and I mean anything, sliced apples and watermelon are his favorites, sandals and couch cushion are also an optional chew toy.

Edward

He's not choosy with his treat, greek yogurt and anchovies are his favorite, also french fries, despite it not being healthy for him, he won't snatch but will look at you longingly until you give one.

Henry

Table food snatcher, preferably anything chicken, despite being a big dog he's fast with his movements ya blink ya miss, buuuut due to his cone he have a much harder time reaching.

Gordon

WAGYU MEAT, he has an expensive taste, and would want his treat and food be something out of the ordinary, refuse 'common' food, though he doesn't mind sausages for a treat. (He rather be dead than admit it)

James

Picky eater, his preferred treat is bones, they're less messy and he would chew it pretty fast, favorite foods are crocodile tail with cubed camel heart, though I think he'll eat whatever leftover Edward give him😅.

Percy

He eats alot, though he can't eat fish because it upsets his stomach, sliced oranges and sliced dragonfruits are his favorite treat! Do be careful with where you put your food...he has a hard time distinguishing safe food and dangerous ones, poor boy accidentally ate chocolate once😓.

And that's all~ feel free to add your own hc based on this, thank you for the ask🩵

[themotherdeerest]

It took some bribing, but Aya managed to get a single letter smuggled up to Heaven from Hell, to Eveline. It was long and rambling, multiple pages telling Eveline she got. Why she was in Hell, what it was really like. How Heaven lied - not all Sinners were pure evil. And telling her to be careful, because it was her questioning that got sent her down there in the first place.

But it was one section in particular that would most likely catch Eveline's eye:

I met your son. Small world, huh? He works at the Hotel I'm staying at, as the Hotelier, and sometimes still does radio. He's...

It's clear Aya re-wrote this part several times, erasing and re-writing as she tried to figure out how to explain what Alastor was like without giving Eveline a heart attack.

He's doing well. Funnily enough, his appearance is a little like mine - deer-ish, with ears and antlers. No legs like mine, though. He's also, like, 7 feet tall. While he doesn't say it, I think he misses you. I made your gumbo the other night and he recognized it.

That was an understatement. She rambles on a little more about the others, painting a picture of life in Hell not being quite as bad as Heaven made it out to be. Hard, certainly, but not the end of the world.

I miss our book clubs - I hope you and the others are keeping well without me! All my love, Aya

It had been quite the heartbreak when Eveline had found out her friend had left, a feeling that only deepened when not a soul would tell her why, the regularity of Heaven wasn't often broken and it was jarring enough. The arrival letter cleared up much of that, opened her eyes to the injustice of Heaven and worst of all, served to incite a mother's rage.

Time passed strangely in heaven, the blur of comfort and contentment constructed perfectly to make it easy to forget time at all. She couldn't help but wonder just how long her son had been dead, how it happened, a cacophony of questions that finally spurred her to action.

Demanding to see her son won her nothing. Pleading. Crying. All had been dismissed and there was only so long she was willing to wait. First she'd update Aya, prepare her in case she did fall too, then she'd make her case.

Dear Aya, It's monsterous what they've done to you, I can hardly believe Heaven of all places would stoop so low, making a sweet girl like you go down and face Hell unprepared. Despite your warning I've kicked up quite the stink about it, I won't have them sweep such a thing under the rug as they seem to be doing with everything else. I can hardly believe my poor boy ended up down there too, goodness knows what they think they're doing! I'm glad he's doing well for himself and keeping up his passion for the radio, hopefully those down there can appreciate his talents/ I would ask that you not tell him what I'm doing, lord knows he wouldn't be best pleased if he found out. Please look after yourself and do keep in contact if you can, I'm doing whatever I can to change what's happened for both you and my boy. I miss him too and think of him often, hopefully I'll be able to tell him that myself soon enough. Lots of love, Eveline.

Attached was a recipe for shrimp and sausage gumbo. She hadn't been certain if they'd even have all the ingredients there but she could hope.

[eyelessfog]

I have decided to take up the offer not extended to me to ask about the eswap sillies. any worldbuilding for Katherine and/or Dawn you're willing to share? 🥺

WIN FOR MEEEE i get to talk about katherine <- literally likes nothing more than doing this

there's a couple stuff i'd love to talk about that are big spoilers BUT should be dealt with in just a few interactions so whenever our bit of eswap starts back up again, you'll hear about it! i have a fic ready n loaded & im sooo excited 2 use it

but for now:

Dawn is a very close knit community! everybody knows everybody and people don't really act differently towards the monarch family than anyone else

they DO have a team of elders - sunborn who have passed their prime and not died about it yet. they're seen as people who were blessed by the sun to have longer lifespans, and therefore are given wisemen roles about it

The monarch family generally only has one child per generation. its. its a little lonely

the monarch family is set apart from everyone else just by having a certain kind of healing magic that no one else has

monarchs can only go from becoming princes/princesses to kings/queens through a coronation. it's about a year long process

let's talk about it ^-^

during this year, the current king & queen retract themselves from the ruling process except for whenever the prince or princess asks for something. This is in order to get the young royal to learn how things work, year by year. problem solving!

during this time, the parents plan the coronation. it's the largest party dawn hosts, and while they don't need the whole year, it's used well to make sure the party is perfect

the party starts at, you'll never guess it, dawn, and ends at dusk. one full day of celebrations!

everyone is dropped from the requirement to do anything, which means that nothing is perfectly fresh, but first thing in the morning, everyone brings out whatever they want to bring to the party and lays it out, and after that it's first come, first served. specific things are set aside to be eaten at certain times of the day (like breakfast, lunch and dinner).

music is made either by jukeboxes or by volunteers who are excited to show off a fun project

over all it's just a fun time to get morale up and bring everyone together with no stress

um!! katherine moments!

she doesn't actually wear the pink robe that gem has on her skin all that often

although that's just because she's a workaholic and that robe is to put on top of her farming outfit in order to come across as more princess-like

she would totally wear that thing (and other pretty things) more often if she wasn't always scared to get them dirty because. again. workaholic

her favourite dawn holiday is when she officially gets to introduce the bees to the dawn children

she also finds a lot of joy in hanging out with the bees :D she likes headbutting them. they're cute

her parents are dead

she has beef with the elders

katherine is. a woman with so much rage in her soul and she is stopped from using it because she is a pacifist

she is aware of how to use a sword but has never used it against a person. i'll actually say that most dawn citizens know how to use a sword properly but have never used one against a person

she is. sooo so oblivious she does not know things she does not notice things she does not get things. okay.

she is irresistible to women and also joey. she is now less irresistible to him because he has a boyfriend. sausage :D

she forgets (often) that kissing is generally a romantic thing

she stops forgetting this when it comes to her crush

she has a crush on pearl of the escent moon. don't worry about it

she has so much guilt in her heart and she will not tell you about it thank you very much. you aren't her therapist

she does not have a therapist

she is polyamorous. i hope this helps. she does not yet know she is polyamorous. she is really bad at being normal about her crushes EXCEPT when talking to them. but if you catch her talking about them while not in front of them then. literally she looks like this the whole time: 0/////0

i love her with my whole entire heart

[holygroundgone]

dead plate liveblog part TWOOOOOOO (warning for player derangement)

you have to harass characters you like (as a treat) (i like how he says for today)

it seems like I keep the leftovers (ahhhh, and the items too? niiice) between playthroughs...? but where's my damn shortcake

(i only got this frame but) the bleeding cut, the intense eyes, the slap, the bandaging......... (੭΄◞ิ౪◟ิ‵)੭ very stimulating, very stimulating... toxicity between men

get eaten boy

🥺 evil pookie bear. i like him. 𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕟𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕘𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕜 𝕒𝕥 𝕒 𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕦𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕥

ohhhh 💖💖💖 that is not a strawberry shortcake 💖💖💖 that is a rat! 🥰

GET EATEN BOY

his reaction to the photo in the trash can is interesting- does he know the other person in the photo? who is M? what's with the love letters? I don't remember his girlfriend's name, does it start with m.........

(oﾟ▽ﾟ)o I like how vince was reading it but he didn't say anything when player character asked if it mentioned him... is he his blorbo? or is he lulling him into a false sense of security because he wants him to stay long enough to eat him?

i hope the person in the window is vince 😳

OHHHH SHIT HIS (ex) girlfriend's name DOES start with an M

EAT HIM!!!!!!

the player character reminds me of him, so i'm still expecting a villain protagonist reveal but I might've just incorrectly primed myself

(it's just a dinner party at his house) me too rody me too. i also thought it was a strangely intimate invitation (probably to eat him)

is rody the meal....

INTIMATE ONE ON ONE DINNER PARTY (WHERE YOU'RE THE MEAL) GOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LMAO OF COURSE (i also had a feeling this might be the case. sorry for your loss rody but at least you're getting out of this alive) (ostensibly)

I love you mr.cunty. cunty men are a fine and exquisite vintage. eat you. can't i have him on my plate, huh?

put the collar on and bark already. the second you say this you've already lost

very much enjoying cunty vince's cunty friends who hate whatever rody has to say by the way.. THEY'RE SUCH ASSHOLES ESPECIALLY THE ONE THAT RECOGNIZES HIM FROM CLASS I

yeah I knew manon broke up with him . poor rody his life is so ass. can't he bag a sexy cunty chef who can't taste anything but probably hungers for human flesh ???

"stay out of my office" immediately runs to explore his house as a treat

oh, so he fucks. i mean probably evidently considering rody's ex being obsessed with him or something though I don't know if vince and her have been intimate

is that manon outside his window💖

ALSO FREEZER KEY TIMEEEEE LET'S GO FIND THE BODIES (alleged)

perfect time to eat him (for both of them). i think rody deserves little a snooping and stealing as a treat

I feel sort of like if I don't bring the matches it's sentencing rody to succumbing to whatever vince is going to do and you know what? I'm here for that ^^

OH? MA'AM TURNED INTO SAUSAGE?

KITTAAAAAAAAAAAA WE'RE HERE

EXCITING, STIMULATING, CONSUME THE FLESH

kitty likes to play with his food 💖🤭

(sensuously wiggling towards him) i'm sorry rody you're controlled by a freak with bad taste- though it turns out that without the matches he'll get you no matter what, huh? served cold....

... is he?

"I hate eating.. everything tastes the same.. but-"

👁️👁️

it's time it's time it's time

that's a great question rody. i'm not going to lie i hope you taste good to him 💖

please enjoy 💖

[the-firebird69]

You people are wiggers you're so God damn dumb so this a****** next door Dave says he's sitting here calculating how about fall off the bike is saying so they pull up right when I'm pulling in obviously they know that I'm doing it cuz they can see me doing it so they're pulling right in and right on top of me so it makes me Rush nothing to get me to fall off and it's Terry cheesman trying to take over but really there's a kidnapping attempt and yeah he's the one in poltergeist and he's got Jason in there it's kind of like this and the riding off and hopefully go to California and get the f*** away from me so we figured out what to do you have to the sidewalk and really it's not going to fall over but the guys are f****** huge a******. So he's going into the house and our son is saying I can always calculate it a little off cuz I have to he said I have to later cuz I kind of got the message and he's going to get the s*** kicked out of me for what he's been doing a****** heinous faggot. I'm putting a bounty on their heads it's going to be pretty steep so stay away from the laundromat because they say that they're going to do this haven't fall over routine here and we're going after them

Thor Freya

What they're doing is real and it was an attempt an attempt to kidnap him he says it every time it happens way too often these people need to leave people need to make them leave by taking them out of here kidnapping isn't going to do much it will cause a war in their people and so forth and I'll be out and a whole bunch of them will be dead and I don't want to be injured because some moron doesn't know the math another friend said the last sentence and it's absolutely true it's going on westborough we're not trying to kidnap him these people are spoiled pieces of s*** I want them all dead he's going to use them to make a weapon and now he's thinking twice about it he thinks those starships sausage some of them having it so he's going to have them waste their time he's going to talk

Mac

We do know that some of those saucers have it and Jason has no clue which and those little teeny laser plasma pistol things on those little teen ships won't do a thing but the saucers what's needed if you got that sokovia thing going it would blast the whole way through it but they're so dumb I don't feel like doing it at all so they can do it on their own and f*** it all up cuz they don't know how to do the technology it's willing to it it's at their own risk I would give him a ton of feedback cuz they do it all day long about something you're not doing wrong tons and tons of asinine feedback for no reason so I'm going to let these idiots that have been torturing our son in US fly around in a piece of s*** cuz those saucers are designed to fire the thing that's just kind of a hack design even though her son could make it fire but not with buildings you have to have the right metals and everything so we're going to laugh at them while they make this piece of junk they always make pieces of junk so it's no longer going to do what they want but they're going to go ahead because they're the balls

Thor Freya

I don't care what you say you're a s*** I said off me like get off me you f*** it doesn't mean get on me and start harassing and threatening every second of the day and I don't need it I don't need it cuz it's already up there I don't need your s*** I don't need your crap I'm telling you I don't need it I'm telling you you ain't getting nothing we're not going to sell you any armor at all you can f*** yourself you and your buddies can try and make it and you suck everything you make blows look like little toys falling apart you can ride around your fake stupid island or whatever you want to call it it's a piece of s*** I don't want to have anything to do with you people ever again well you are as a goddamn nightmare I'm asking to fight for the saucers he's going to cream you just stupid f****** idiots and foreigners have to do and some of them have and will know which ones and then you protection from Mac and foreigners against this horde of complete failures who would lose it to the clones they're going to sit off there when it want a bomb everybody he's going to take off and all those big shifts these people are stupid so I get through the day no I come out he's waiting because they want to try and hit me all at once so he didn't bother me doing my laundry and nothing happens at all it's just a fat swine he's got Jason in his tummy is a huge idiot I'm going to run this program with them in the saucers and they're going to think that they have the right ones and they don't I'm going to use the threat to declaw Tommy f because you guys think you can preach it so Jason is going to do that with the saucers then he's going to go up there and he's going to fire on them with the wrong saucers and will someone will have the right ones so you can go f*** yourselves more luck

Can you understand it

Zues Hera

You don't do a f****** thing for me Jimmy chomo the homo you'll sit there and try and implicate me and all these f****** crimes that you're doing they go to jail and you get hung and electrocuted for stuff you keep talking about that you did you're a f****** huge idiot running around with one piece of my clothing or something you God damn moron I told you to shut your f****** mouth too shut your mouth understand what I wrote in English here a******

Zues Hera

And you were never my friend so taking a jamming up your ass you little f** and you're inside of f****** Dave and is a huge idiot and bugs are always eating and you f****** moron

Good. It needs to be said these people need to leave we're going to die cuz they want to pull up the Earth and then fly off and destroy them f*** them they're going to make an Island full of s*** and you know about it cuz those buildings won't do it and he fooled them now they're hooked on they think he's lying he said this the saucers having the assholes won't do it

Stan

[el3ctraaa]

This is a lot more of personal grudge for me than anything else. But one of my friends was murdered over the summer, like brutally murdered. I'd known this kid since kindergarten, my childhood best friend had a crush on him from the ages of 8-12, a lot of my friends had crushes on him in highschool too. One of my friends even wrote a whole essay for my other friend on why she shouldn't date hime. We sat next to each other in freshman year English too. We both had eating disorders, he was anorexic and I was bulimic, we were on meal plans at the same time and would complain about them together. Sometimes over the pandemic him and his brother started a business together it did really well and he got a Rolex with his earnings. He was a huge sneaker head too, like absolutely obsessed. We were in the same sociology class senior year, every morning he'd show up late with a full breakfast in a frying pan, like pancakes, eggs, sausage, all of it every morning and just eat it during class. The teacher would always ask if he had enough to share and he'd reply no. We sat close to each other so I would help him cheat, he had a really good smile so you really couldn't say no to him. One day, not even a month past graduation, he was dead. Like all over the news dead. A week later my aunts and cousins knowing that I knew him started sending me tiktoks about his death. Like the ones where they talk about true crime while doing their makeup. He hadn't even had a funeral yet and there were women applying their Charlotte tilsbury foundation and listing out all the ways his body had been brutalized. They had link in bio for the products they used, they were making a profit off his death. Here was this kid who had such a rich life, who touched so many hearts including my own while he was alive, and his story was being condensed to a burnt body people could use to make a quick buck off of on the Internet. Like are they not disgusted using a child's death for profit? So yeah I hope every single one of them die and I hope people make tiktoks about them too. And I hope that from whatever place in hell they're in they feel disgusted by the people using their life tragedy the way they used others I think this applies doubly to podcasts because they make even more money off it.

Here's the monthly reminder that I hate true crime podcasts and if you have a true crime podcast you are a disgusting human being and I hope you kill yourself and I hope no one mourns you and I hope someone somewhere on the Internet makes a profit on your death, thank you and goodnight

[redrisingsun]

Swedish Holidays for all your Young Royals needs

Due to popular demand (by like five people) here’s a brief description of all the major Swedish holidays and how they’re celebrated because I can’t stand here and pretend as if we really celebrate Christmas the 25th. We have more holidays, I've only written about the ones we celebrate in my family. I come from a working class family and live in Southern Sweden, however I do have family in Stockholm. I'm not religious in any way and as far as I know, most families don't celebrate these holidays because they're religious, but because it's tradition.

yall better appreciate this, it took me literal hours

January

1: Dubbed as one of the collective pizza days in my household. It's the day after New Year, and most people either order in or eat leftovers.

Week 2 or 3: Most people return to their jobs, schools and other daily activities.

February/March

Fettisdagen ("Fat Tuesday"): celebrated 47 days before Easter. The actual date varies, all from early February to early March. It's an old Christian tradition where you'd eat fatty foods before the "before Easter"-fast and is supposedly a thing in other Christian countries as well. These days, most people celebrate by eating semlor with their family, and most don't fast before Easter.

The semla is a sweet bun with whipped cream and almond paste.

Våffeldagen (Waffle Day, 25th of March): I think this day stems from a Christian tradition, but these days the day is mostly to get together with family and eat waffles.

April

Påsk (Easter): Again, the date varies, but Easter is usually in April. Easter stems from Christianity and is celebrated to remember Jesus' death and resurrection. Easter spans over a week, but I personally only celebrate one of those days.

Påskafton (direct translation: Easter Eve, English translation: Holy Saturday) is the Saturday of the Easter week. In my family, the children get to look for Easter eggs (often filled with candy).

Some children also dress up as Påskkärringar (Easter crones) and I think this tradition has to do with the Witch Trials in Sweden, but I'm not sure. Chances are you won't need to know anything about this for your Young Royal fics, because mostly girls dress up.

Sometimes, we decorate eggs.

Later, we sit down to eat together and spend time with our families. Common things to eat for Easter is potatoes, eggs, herring and meatballs.

Valborgsmässoafton (Walpurgis Night, 30th): We burn a big bonfire in the evening to celebrate that spring is here. I live in a fairly small town, so mostly everyone gathers at one spot and burns the fire together. When the bonfire is burned, most people go home and that's it. It's also seen as a reason to have a party (mostly for teenagers and young adults, I think) and get drunk as fuck.

May/June

Sveriges Nationaldagen (Sweden's National Day, 6th of June): Most people are home from school and work. We hoist the Swedish flag. Idk. However, the Royal Family celebrates by getting dressed up in Swedish costumes. This year, the King held a speech and the family went to Skansen (which is an amusement park/zoo. You can read more about it here). There's music and the military does their weird little thing. You can watch the National Day Celebration on Skansen from 2014 here.

Midsommarafton (Midsummer): date varies, but is celebrated a Friday in late June. I'm sure there's a Christian explanation for this one, but I don't personally know it.

Midsommar (midsummer) means middle of the summer.

Again, this is a day to eat and spend time with your family (or drink, depending on who you are). We eat pretty much the same things for Midsummer as we do for Easter.

For Midsummer we also dance around a Midsommarstång (direct translation: Midsummer Pole, English translation: Maypole) and make flower crowns.

How Midsummer is celebrated depends a lot on your age (most teenagers and young adults again see this as a reason to party), where you're from and a million other things.

My personal favorite Midsummer tradition is probably more common in the country than in the city, for example. You're supposed to pick seven different flowers without saying a word. Then, you sleep with the flowers under your pillow. Supposedly, you'll dream of your future husband (or wife! But I think it's more common that women and girls do this). This tradition also varies. Some people say you need nine flowers and some people say you have to climb over fencing for it to count.

Some teenagers or young adults spend time with their friends to party, instead!

You can watch part of a Midsummer celebration at Skansen here.

The Royal Family usually celebrate Midsummer privately, but I think there's usually new pictures of the entire family around this time.

Day after Midsummer: Collective Pizza Day 2. Everyone either eats takeout or leftovers because no one can be bothered to make anything and like half of the population has the worst hangover they've had since New Year.

Summer Holiday Note: most people in Sweden have four weeks of paid leave each summer.

July/August

Kräftpremiär (Crayfish party) - date varies, normally early August. Basically people get together to eat crayfish and drink. You can usually get paper plates and plastic cups and whatever with ugly crayfish motives (which is fun), but I've never done this.

October

Halloween (30th): Halloween is nowhere near as big in Sweden as it is in the States. We just buy some lösgodis ("loose candy", where you can throw whatever kind of candy you want in a bag. See pictures). Trick or treat is so unusual in the town I grew up I've only ever had one kid ask for candy and when I celebrated Halloween with my grandparents (in a city not far from Stockholm), it was the same. I usually buy some candy and watch a horror movie, but that's about it.

However, Halloween is (again) a reason for teenagers and young adults to drink and party.

November

Alla Helgons Dag (All Saints' Day): Date varies, usually early November. It's a day to remember the dead and we usually light a candle at the grave yard.

December

Första Advent (First Advent): Date varies. Sunday four weeks from Christmas Eve. We mostly just light a candle, honestly. Then, each Sunday for the next four weeks, we light a candle. Here's actually the Crown Princess wishing Happy First Advent with her family! Unfortunately without English subtitles, but here's the translation: "Today is the First Advent. Advent means arrival and hope, something that feels extra important this year. (her husband lights the candle) We want to wish everyone a happy first advent!"

Andra Advent (Second Advent): date varies. We light the second candle.

Tredje Advent (Third Advent): date varies. We light the third candle.

Fjärde Advent (Fourth Advent): date varies. We light the fourth candle. In my family we usually decorate the tree this Sunday.

Julafton (Christmas Eve): Celebrated the 24th. YES, THE 24TH. Christmas Eve obviously varies from family to family, but there's a few things most people have in common. Usually, we get one gift in our sock (which hangs on our bedroom doors in my home, because we don't have a mantle) when we wake up. As kids me and my brother almost always got a movie or something to keep us busy until it was time to leave for our grandparents house.

For lunch we eat the Christmas dinner. It's the same damned food as our other holidays. Herring, meatballs, potatoes, sausages etc, but now, we also have julskinka (Christmas ham). Some people eat ham even for Easter, but we only really eat it for Christmas in my family. Obviously the food varies a little from season to season, but as a picky eater I always just eat potatoes, meatballs and ham.

At 3, Kalle Anka (Donald Duck) is on. Yeah, we watch the same damned stuff every year. It's tradition, alright? Anyway, Donald Duck lasts for an hour or so, and first you get to see Santa work in his workshop, then Disney characters wish you a Merry Christmas with scenes from their movies (original, I know). There's Lady and the Tramp, Donald Duck (obviously) and a million other things. Then there's also one or two trailers for movies Disney will release the coming year. I really couldn't be bothered to find everything on YouTube for you to watch, sorry!

After Donald Duck, we open the Christmas gifts in my family. Normally we just rip out gifts open lmao.

After opening the gifts, we usually eat a second time. This time it's time for porridge. Tomtegröt (Santa porridge) is sweet and often served with cinnamon. Usually, everyone is so stuffed at this point that you only eat because you "have" to eat porridge for Christmas (again, at least in my family).

The last thing we do in my family, is to get a puzzle out. My grandpa almost always gets a new puzzle for Christmas, so we'll put that on the dining table and work on it together until it's getting too late for us to stay.

The Royal Family usually release new pictures of the family for Christmas and wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

Day after Christmas: Not a collective pizza day! There's usually too much Christmas food left to be able to order pizza. Usually, we have Christmas food to eat for four-ish days after Christmas, and by then you're getting really tired of it.

Sometimes we watch something on television, but for the most part we just sit around and spend time together. I think the Crown Princess read something from the Bible this year? I'm not actually sure if the Royal Family go to the Christmas Service, but I don't think so.

Nyårsafton (New Year's Eve): last day of the year. We shoot fireworks, eat food and dessert and spend time with family. This day we normally eat something "fancy" or something you we don't usually eat.

At twelve, we go out to light some fireworks (or just watch fireworks). When that dies down, it's time for the cheese platter. My dad wants it, no one else ever eats from it, we still do it every single year because "it's not New Year's without it". When we've had the cheese platter, everyone go to sleep and that's that.

People obviously celebrate this differently, as well. It's not uncommon to go see your friends or have guests over, and some people party rather than have fancy dinner with their parents. I personally prefer spending time with my parents, because that's what New Year's is for me.

Some people give resolutions, but I think it's more common in the States.

Christmas Holiday Note: It's common for people to not work between Christmas and New Year's Eve where I'm from.

Some things you might want to know about the Swedish Royal Family and Sweden overall:

The Royal Family in Young Royals is not the real Royal Family (obviously).

The Royal Family usually spends time on Öland during the summers.

Chances are Wilhelm and his family live at Drottningholm Slott (Drottningholm Palace) and not Stockholm Slott (Stockholm Palace). Drottningholm is used as a home for the current King and Queen and is located west of Stockholm. However, the scenes where Wilhelm is home is shot at a palace called Stora Sundby Slott. I doubt Wilhelm and his family would live here if they were the actual Royal Family since it's used as a place for people to gather when they want to hunt for sport. However, if they truly live at Stora Sundby, it takes almost two hours to drive from Stockholm to the castle.

Bjärstad is AT LEAST two hours away from Stockholm.

Bjärstad to Stora Sundby Castle takes approximately an hour and a half by car, and between nine and twelve hours by bus. Which means these two boys can't just take a twenty minute bus to see each other.

Bjärstad to Drottningholm takes a little over two hours by car and four-ish hours by bus.

Bjärstad to Stockholm Slott takes over two hours by car and three and a half hours by bus.

Hillerska is shot at Kaggeholms Slott (Kaggeholm Palace), and is a hotel.

The age of consent in Sweden is 15, HOWEVER it's illegal to have sex with someone four or more years younger than you if you're not both over the age of 18. Let me illustrate: -Person A is 15 and Person B is 15. It's legal because both are 15. -Person A is 15 and Person B is 20. It's illegal, because there's a five year old gap between them. -Person A is 15 and Person B is 18. It's legal (but probably frowned upon), because they're both 15 or older and there's not a four year gap between them. -Person A is 18 and Person B is 30. It's legal, because both are 18 or older. Idk if this makes sense or if this is what it looks like anymore, but this is what it was like when I still went to school. Obviously people aren't going to run around and call you names if you happen to date someone four years younger than you (I know a girl who met a guy when she was 14 and he was over 20), but please, be mindful of this. Our age of consent doesn't give you a right to be weird and nasty to teenagers (yes, I'm talking about Edvin).

Also, the Royal Family have their own website, which you can find here. As far as I can see, there's more information on the Swedish page, but there's plenty translated to English. You can also read of the Swedish Royal Family and its history on the palaces's website, here.

All pictures have been taken straight from Google. I haven't used any sources, because this is shit I do every single year with my family. Feel free to correct me or add things you do, but keep it respectful, please!

Friendly reminder that I've simplified some parts of this to make sense, specifically the dates of the Advent celebrations.

If there's anything you don't understand or want more information on, you're welcome to contact me! I take pretty long to reply, but I'll definitely try to get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you!

[himbowelsh]

Prompt for Bill&Babe team: Frannie makes Babe and Bill sit and talk after a fight (because they're both miserable without each other and act like love sick dogs). They fought because one of them is feeling unloved. Either Babe because Bill is focused on Frannie or Bill because Babe started dating Gene. Frannie tells Gene that he better get used to this while they're watching Bill and Babe almost sob into each other arms because "I've missed you", "Don't leave me". Anything about their friendship

“This is ridiculous.”

“Shut up,” Fran retorts, leaning forward with her elbows braced against her knees. Red lips are pressed into a thin line; her eyes are trained on the bathroom door, intently enough to burn holes clean through the wood.

Julian sighs, lowering into a crouch as he, too, glowers at the door. Crossing his arms over his chest, Spina turns the key to the door over in his palm and tries to push a growing sense of unease to the back of his mind. The silence from within is eerie. There’s no reason it should be so quiet in there, considering the two guys locked within are anything but.

There’s always the fear that they might have killed each other. Well, if it came down to it, he figures Bill would be the one to kill Babe, unless Babe got the jump on him. Babe’s endurance, however, is a scary thing. Even if Bill got him good, Babe might be able to bounce back and deliver a fatal blow in return before --

Spina shakes himself, leaping from that train of thought. Theorizing about his friends killing each other isn’t nice, nor is it particularly healthy. There are better things to worry about right now; like what the hell is actually going on in that bathroom.

The banging stopped a few minutes ago; the arguing stopped soon after. Now it’s just... silent.

It’s unnerving the other two as much as it is him. He exchanges an anxious glance with Julian, whose throat bobs as he swallows. Fran doesn’t look at either of them. She’s stone-still, barely breathing, focused on making out whatever is going on behind the door.

Suddenly, a loud shout shatters the silence.

“No! Heffron, don’t you dare climb out that fucking window!”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Fran buries her face in her hands. Julian topples from his crouch, cackling even before he hits the ground. A clatter rings out from the bathroom, followed by a renewed bout of shouting, and the sound of something hitting the wall.

“He’s gonna get stuck,” Spina (the only one who’s retained his wits) states. He aims a kick at Julian when the hysterical boy rolls into the wall.

Indeed, only a few seconds pass before a loud “Aww, hell,” sounds in Babe’s unmistakeable whine. The three friends exchange glances before sighing in unison. Fran slams a hand down on her knee. Julian sits up, still snickering. Spina tosses the key in the air and catches it.

“New plan?” he asks, raising his eyebrows. Julian nods while Fran just shrugs, discouraged. She’s not used to her schemes not working; when they do, she always gets dejected, then frustrated, then fired up all over again. Spina has no doubt that by dinnertime she’ll be drawing up new battle plans.

Of course, they’ll only get to have dinner once they manage to pry Babe from the bathroom window.

“We could shove ‘em in a closet together!” Fran exclaims, looking like she’s just struck gold. “No windows.”

“Yeah, just things to beat each other with,” Spina points out. “Pass.”

“We could lock ‘em out of the house tonight,” pipes up Julian. He doesn’t cringe back even as two heads swivel around to gape at him, but he does look a little surprised by the reaction.

“It’s winter,” Fran enunciates, looking torn between horror and incredulity. “What the hell’s the matter with you?”

Spina waves her off before Julian can start up an inevitable argument. The last thing they need is two more people fighting in this house. That could send them spiralling into full-on civil war, and Spina isn’t sure he can take it. “His brain just works like that. Don’t ask him for ideas and we’ll all be fine.”

He’s become a master at subverting catastrophic arguments before they get the chance to happen. Living with Bill and Fran, who scream at each other as much as they scream for each other, and Babe and Julian, who frankly have all the self control of poppies, he’s learned to be the calm in the storm. He’s the level head. The mediator. The one everyone else goes to when they have problems.

He hates it. If that’s what it take to keep peace in the household, however, Spina is willing to do it. If only to prevent a homicide, which would seriously interrupt his schedule, and that’s something anyone studying medicine really can’t afford.

It would just be so much easier if he weren’t living with four of the most stubborn people on planet earth.

He doesn’t know what the hell is going on between Bill and Babe, but whatever it is has been building up all month long. The two best friends have been distant, shorter with each other, argumentative for no apparent reason. The other day, they finally snapped. Babe swung first, Bill swung last, and Fran broke up the fight with threats of kicking them both out on the street if they ever have it out in the living room again.

Since then, they haven’t been speaking at all. While Bill and Babe on the same page can be holy terrors, witnessing the two of them reading entirely different books is something Spina could have gone his whole life without. It’s not natural. It’s a little terrifying, to be honest. The wall of ice that’s come up between the two of them is ready to shatter at the slightest touch, and the second it does the house will descend into chaos.

They have to get Bill and Babe back together before that can happen.

Since locking them in the same room together didn’t work, there’s only one thing left for them to do. They have to make them talk it out.

He clears his throat, drawing both sets of eyes in the room to him. “How about this? An intervention. We sit both of ‘em down, watch so they don’t kill each other, and get ‘em to talk. Whether they want to or not.”

“It’s no use,” Fran sighs. “We can’t try anything like that, cause they’ll just get pissed off and start fighting and try to kill each other again. Sitting ‘em down will just be a disaster.”

Now it’s Julian’s turn to clear his throat. Alarm bells start ringing in Spina’s head the second he sees the renewed brightness in his friend’s face. Anything that excites Julian is rarely good for anyone else.

“I have an idea,” he says, and a slow smile spreads across his face. “I know just what will work.”

It is surprisingly difficult to tie someone to a chair.

Or maybe it’s just difficult to tie Bill to a chair. Granted, things probably would have gone over better if Spina had waited to ambush him when he was caught off guard -- like during a nap, or while he’s busy eating. Calling Bill’s name from the kitchen and hiding behind a door until he walked in and then jumping him might not have been the best plan.

But, well -- it’s not like he can undo it now.

He finally gets the last knot tied, and steps back to survey his work. Bill is strapped securely to a kitchen chair. A mass of rope constrains his chest, while his arms and legs are fastened to the chair’s wooden limbs. The knots Spina has tied have employed all the knowledge he still retains from his one summer at Boy Scout Camp, but they’re large and secure. This doesn’t stop Bill from bucking like an enraged bull, of course.

His face is bright red, a vein throbbing in his temple. He’s spitting curses that would make Spina’s mother slap his teeth out; his muscles strain from his struggle to escape, but it’s to little effect. The rope holds. It’s clear that Bill isn’t going anywhere. (Spina sends up a prayer of thanks; he’s not ready to die today.)

“What the fuck? Let me out, you little son of a bitch, or I swear to god I’ll strangle you in your sleep --”

“Give it a rest, Bill,” Spina sighs. “You’re gonna be here for a while.”

The chair next to Bill is still empty. Spina doubts it will be for long.

He steps around Bill and begins to make himself a sandwich. He considers bologna, but goes for cheese instead; then mustard, then sausage leftover from dinner, then a bit of lettuce. He sits down in front of Bill and begins to eat it, staring him dead in the eye.

His friend, self-proclaimed “master chef”, looks nauseated by Spina’s concoction. “I fuckin’ hate you.”

“Yep.” Spina pops the ‘p’, and takes another large bite.

He leaves Bill for just a minute to use the bathroom, and when he comes back Fran has a squirming Babe confined to the other chair.

Babe is cursing a blue streak. Next to him, Bill looks fit to kill everyone in the room. Fran steps back, placing her hands on her hips, and nods to herself. A part of Spina really wants to know how she did it, but he realizes it’s better if he doesn’t know.

Bill looks to his girlfriend, desperate for an ally. Fran only shakes her head, lips quirking up in a victorious smirk.

“You,” she says as Spina comes up behind her, “are going to sit your asses down and get along.”

“Get this guy away from me, Frannie,” Bill says in a low voice. “I mean it. I dunno what I’ll do.”

“You’re not doing anything, genius. You’re tied to a chair.”

Fran’s eyes swivel between the two combatants for a moment. Bill and Babe glance at each other; their gazes lock, and quickly morph into heated glares. Spina feels the flicker of hope inside of him sputter.

If this doesn’t work, he has no clue what else they can try. He might have to move out. He can’t stand living on a powder keg, and when these two explode it isn’t going to be pretty.

This needs to get sorted out today, and this is the safest way to do it.

“Talk,” Fran orders, taking a step backwards. “The both of you work this out, and that’s when we’ll untie you. Until then --”

She makes a broad gesture to their current predicament, then steps out into the hallway. When Spina catches her eye, she nods at him to move it.

He scampers out of the room, leaving Bill and Babe alone to settle whatever the hell is going on. He just hopes the house will be left standing once they’re finished.

After ten minutes, it becomes obvious that no one is coming back. Babe and Bill have been left alone.

“So,” Babe begins, tentative.

“Don’t even try it, Heffron.”

Babe’s mouth shuts with a click. He huffs out a sigh, and goes back to counting the flowers in the wallpaper.

No one is expecting visitors, so when Gene Roe walks into the house to find Fran and Spina crouched outside the kitchen door, Spina’s first thought is that somehow Babe must have managed to call for help.

“No way,” Fran hisses, springing to her feet. “I have both their phones in my pocket! What are you doing here?”

Gene, for his part, looks unimpressed. His eyes flicker from Spina (still on the ground) to the enraged Fran, then scan the house as if looking for someone. When he doesn’t seem to find what he’s searching for, he settles back on his heels with a frown. 

“Well,” he says, “I’m looking for my boyfriend. I’ve been waiting for him in the car for fifteen minutes, and now I’m pretty sure we’ve missed the movie we were gonna go see.”

Spina and Fran both deflate at the same time, exchanging guilty glances. They hadn’t counted on Babe having plans tonight. They assumed he came home alone.

Gene raises his eyebrow at the duo. “Somebody wanna tell me what’s going on here?”

“Look, if you would just talk to me and tell you why you’ve been so pissed then maybe we could figure this out!”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Babe!” Bill spits back. Anger colors his voice, words stinging like a hornet’s needle. Babe grits his teeth, muscles tensing against the rope that binds him as he turns as far as he can to face his friend.

“Clearly there is! Get over yourself, huh? You think you get to act like an asshole and not even have a reason?”

“I’ve got a reason! A damn good one!”

“Oh yeah?” challenges Babe. “What is it?”

Fran’s hiss of “they’re talking!” drew everyone to the door. Now Gene has joined Spina and Fran in the ranks of shameless eavesdroppers, and looks as baffled by the conversation as the rest of them.

No matter where this is going, Spina couldn’t be more relieved. Finally, they’re getting over themselves and just talking it out. It took forever, but if they manage to straighten things out then everything might be okay.

“This is great,” Gene murmurs, “but when am I gonna get my boyfriend back?”

The answer doesn’t need to be stated. The sharp look Fran shoots him makes it obvious. They’re only leaving those chairs once they’re ready to kiss and make up, so even if it takes all night, they’re staying where they are.

“Sorry, buddy.” Spina claps his fellow medical student on the back. “Guess you’ll have to miss your movie.”

“You sunuva bitch! You didn’t think it affected me at all?”

“There’s no reason it should affect you!” Babe fires back. Now all of his anger bleeds from his words, exposing the hurt he’s been trying so hard to cover up. “Just because you’re jealous of me and Gene --”

“I ain’t jealous!” Bill exclaims indignantly, but Babe raises his voice over him.

“Yes you are, and just because you’re jealous you think you can kick me around? No! I’m not your mother, I don’t have to look after you! I’m allowed to have my own life! You think it hasn’t bothered me when you’re mackin’ on Frannie while I want to talk to you about something! Sure it has, but I don’t take it out on you, because I’m not an asshole!”

“I didn’t --” Bill starts, but cuts himself off. Babe steamrolls on as if he hasn’t heard a word.

“So, you’re jealous. Okay. Ever tried talking to me? It’s not like I’m trying to ignore you! Jesus Christ, Bill, you’re my best friend! You’re the best pal I could ask for, but if you feel that way, say something to me! We can work it out! I don’t get jealous of you and Frannie because I know you love her, and I know she’s your girl. You love her, but that doesn’t make me not your friend anymore! Gene’s the guy I love, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you anymore! Christ, it’s not that hard, is it?”

For a moment, Bill says nothing. When he does speak, his voice sounds tight. “I never said it was hard.”

Spina is treated to a sharp elbow in the ribs from one side, and fingers digging into his shoulder from the other. He winces under both assaults, but neither one lets up.

“Is this it? Have they done it?”

“There’s been enough yelling. Ain’t they ever heard of indoor voices?”

“What do you think?”

Spina forces himself to his feet, popping out from under both Fran and Gene. He’s in no hurry to be buried by nosy friends, especially not before they find out if a resolution has really been reached. He strains to see around the doorway without being noticed -- a challenge when there are two bodies at his feet, threatening to tip him over any second.

“Hey,” a voice from the kitchen calls. “Quit stickin’ your head in and come untie us already! We’re done!”

At Spina’s feet, Gene has gone very still. “Is Babe -- it sounds like he’s crying.”

Fran takes a moment to consider this, before suddenly springing to her feet. “Oh, thank god!”

The entire assembly barrels into the kitchen, only to be greeted by the most welcome sight they’ve seen all day. Babe and Bill are still sitting in their chairs, side-by-side. Now, however, neither one is struggling, and no one looks murderous. In fact, Babe is smiling ear-to-ear. His eyes are glistening. There’s a few wet streaks rolling down Bill’s cheeks, but he does his best to maintain a tough front as he regards them.

Fran exhales a laugh. “Oh my god, you two are such babies.”

“You worked it out!” Spina cheers, fistpumping in the air. He starts to round Bill’s chair; Gene is already behind Babe, working to free him from his restraints. 

As soon as the ropes fall away, Bill and Babe are out of their chairs. They take a second to stretch their limbs and make sure everything is still in working order; then they embrace each other.

“You rat bastard,” Babe huffs against Bill’s broad chest. “You got something to say to me, say it next time, huh?”

Bill claps Babe on the back, hugging him like a kid who’s just rediscovered his favorite toy. “And don’t you go forgetting about Ol’ Guarnere anymore!”

It’s a heartwarming, if somewhat baffling scene. Maybe he just doesn’t get it. Spina’s never had lifelong friends. He’s definitely never been a part of the same bond that Babe and Bill have with each other. He probably just doesn’t understand the way their brains work, or why this was such a thing, but he’s glad it all worked out anyway. “You know,” Fran pipes up, “double dates are always an option!”

The two don’t reply. Maybe they didn’t even hear her. Gene glances over at her and shakes his head. “Let ‘em figure it out for themselves. They’ll wanna think it was their idea.”

Fran sighs, placing her hands on her hips as she surveys her two favorite idiots. “Gene, I hope you’re prepared,” she says. “You’re part of the family now. You better get used to all of this.”

Gene huffs out a low laugh, crossing his arms. As he watches his boyfriend and his best friend hug it out, there’s a smile on his lips. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

[marikorawralton]

I normally remove posts like this from my dashboard cuz I have no sympathy or respect for the dude and I frankly don't give a damn about him in the slightest.

This one caught my interest simply for being blatantly misleading and bizarre.

Yes, it takes a long time to get a game done. It's a pain in the ass, congrats. Now you know how the sausage is made. I think everyone should take sometime to really consider how game dev works, because it's very enlightening.

However, I don't agree with your comparison to Yandere Dev's own work.

Yandere Simulator has been in development for nearly 6 years now and it's not out of pre-pre-alpha (Vert Slice), which is absolutely insane considering he's making money from it.

Yandere Simulator's code has been replicated and even improved by other developers numerous times. Often times, those games reach the Vert Slice stage in weeks. There was even the infamous demo made in a few hours.

YandereDev claims to have professional experience. I doubt you have your own professional experience, nor would you claim to have any.

People aren't in this to see him flourish as a person or whatever. Your project (I assume) wasn't made for profit. This isn't a personal project for him. This is a product he is selling. People have given him money and expect returns on that. He hasn't given them anything.

If your game is done, then I assume it's feature complete. Everything works fine, then congrats. YS still isn't feature complete and the main attraction has been in limbo for nearly 3 years. It creates a bit of doubt in people's minds when stuff like that happens.

Unity is a very forgiving game engine, and most of the assets he has (arguably one of the harder aspects of game dev) are all from volunteers or purchased. He isn't figuring things out on his own. In fact, most of the stuff he does on his own sucks ass and is redundant cuz Unity would do it for him if he actually sat down and tried to learn.

Main stream game companies aren't allowed to make money from Vert Slices. Why should he be any different? Even Kickstarter games have working demos most of the time.

You didn't have a ton of volunteers and fans basically doing the work for you. This one is major because people often get the misconception that YandereDev does it all alone. He does not.

YandereDev's time is actually checked by people. He spends more time streaming than he does working on the game. That would be fine if he wasn't making a ton of money off of it.

The only unsubstantiated accusation I have seen toward YanDev is the accusation of being a pedophile. This accusation had been tossed out by someone who never proved it or showed receipts. Most of everything else is true and kind of embarrassing. Trust me, I've been following the guy since at least 2015.

I have yet to see any proof of people trying to make YandereDev actually kill himself. Criticism and ridicule doesn't count because people get ridiculed all the time and his criticism is warranted most of the time.

It's irresponsible to compare amateur game development to actual products meant to be sold. Remember, he's taking money and Kickstarter cash. That, and he's planning to sell the game full price (40 to 60 dollars).

Personal Rant, ignore this if you don't know what I'm talking about: I will also take this time to say that most of the unfair accusations come from one YandereDataDigger. Fuck YDD, they're a brain dead idiot.

I’m honestly glad that I started making games because if I didn’t I’d probably think that Yandere Sim is taking way too long to make and not bother looking into what the dev’s doing with most of his time by assuming that he’s not actually working on the game.

I started working on a game mostly made with Pokemon Essentials- Essentials has about 90%-100% of the game already coded for you (depending on if you add anything) and all you have to do is take those codes and place them where you want them. It still took me a year and a half to make a game that you can finish in an hour. YanDev has to figure this shit out by himself.

At least I know I wouldn’t be trying to get YanDev to kill himself and accuse him of things that aren’t true. I would be annoyed because of my ignorance, yes, but I’m not evil over the demo not being ready yet.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Planning a romantic weekend away

Jimmy: Gracie came at me earlier. There was mistletoe up and I near fully hit the floor 😎 Jimmy: Hold fire though. She only wanted to tell me to convince you of summat. Pretty sure you already know what it is Janis: Erm...Father Christmas is really real? That her weave isn't from dead Brazilian hookers? Janis: Enlighten me or I'll tell her she's got a holiday free pass on you 😈 Jimmy: Double date. Need I say more 😡 Janis: FUCK. I DIDN'T THINK IT'D ACTUALLY HAPPEN. Janis: How far does she expect the season of goodwill to extend, like? Already got some poor cunt being a charitable home for her arse so she don't freeze Janis: Single tear. Janis: Question is, can we make it worth it enough for us to endure that shite? Hmm Jimmy: I almost got my arse to church so it wouldn't. Shoulda sucked off that priest when he asked. Too late? Jimmy: You better get me a top notch pressie, baby 😏 Janis: You know you ain't on the nice list 😉 Janis: So, Santa might be dissing but you'll be getting something extra special from me Janis: As for God, and his holly jolly perverted following, I reckon we're both shit out of 🍀 there, no matter how good our head game is, such is life Janis: Grah, I hear she does shoutouts now...want that 'influencer' clout, baby? Not double entendre my end but might be for GracieGuru 🙊😂 Jimmy: what the fuck we going to do then? No way I'm hanging with her and her latest 'boo boy' Jimmy: Even if I was getting paid, which is likely since she just loves common grounds Janis: Preaching to the choir, dickhead, ain't my idea of a good time either, or hers let's be fucking real. She just wants to dry-hump a slab of boy in front of you on the off chance that really gets you going for her Janis: You wouldn't call her brainy, bless Janis: Idk, don't worry about it, Jim. Just avoid her/the flat whites like the plague and I'll have to literally run away like I'm an angsty 12 year old so we can't be located, even with friend finder or whatever they stalk each other with Janis: Oooh! Just call me brains, we should pretend to have a romantic weekend away planned, that'll send her over the edge, that is her everything goals Janis: Like I said, I can hide from a hoe Jimmy: I knew there was a reason I kept you about Jimmy: Let's do it though. Easier to take than fake the 'gram Jimmy: Any ideas? 🤔 Jimmy: Most of my boltholes are far from yours and not very enviable for that crowd #it'sgrimupnorth Janis: Yeah, why do you tbh? Janis: Now its clear my sister has got no respect for anyone on her hunt for dick/self-esteem Janis: She's hoping its a twofer like Janis: I don't know if I can stand you for that long, darling Janis: But I SUPPOSE your the lesser of two evils here 😉 Jimmy: It's love 💕 Jimmy: Come on, it'll be a laff. I'll get the beers in Jimmy: You can try harder to beat me at darts and pool Janis: As far as the adoring fans/salty haterz are concerned Janis: and that's all that matters Janis: bitch i don't have to try! 😤 you put me off last time with ur mooning 😍 Janis: we don't need to convince the old fellas in the boozer Jimmy: Fuck off I was getting practice in! Jimmy: If you're ready to fake a break up say the word but until then, it takes a lot of work to give you the puppy dog eyes. I'm not Twix Janis: Sure you was 😂 Janis: N'awwh but you do it so well! Janis: Audition for the School play whilst ur at it, soft lad Jimmy: I do enough fake snogging without signing myself up for that bollocks Jimmy: You coming away with me then or not? Jimmy: You know your sister'll be in again nagging before shift's end Janis: Well, when you put it like that Janis: 😒 Janis: I ain't got nothing better to do, and I certainly ain't third wheeling her fake date Janis: My grandparents got a place down skerries Janis: we can crash there Jimmy: How many rooms they got? My dad's working so I'll have to bring the ramble with Jimmy: #goals I know Janis: Fucking hell, my pissing sister! She owes you more than she's spending on coffee for the hassle she's causing Janis: If you really can't, don't worry, I'll sort her. She'll be unbearable when she finds out it was all for a laugh but it was at her expense so how much of a mug can she actually make me feel? 😑 Janis: That said, there's 3 rooms, its only a caravan don't get excited but the kids would probably be buzzin', it is pretty nice down there Janis: I'll even let you have the double bed to yourself Janis: ol Janis: l Jimmy: It'll stop them nagging me about going somewhere other than the park that'll do me Jimmy: Cass talks big but she isn't even really so doable Jimmy: Don't be getting any ideas though 😍😉 my brother hasn't slept well since we moved. I'll be sharing that double like it or not Jimmy: What a way to spend my first proper time off since I started #blessed Janis: Yeah, fish and chips on the beach even tho its fucking baltic, chasing Twix will keep 'em warm, you'll earn major big brother points as well as bae ones Janis: What a mighty fine man Janis: Same here, Cass. Shh about it though Janis: Like you said, it'll be a laugh, we can make it one Janis: You'd really rather be making pinkity drinkidies or whatever the fuck they are? Jimmy: Nope. But your 1st romantic break usually is. Any talent there is in all grans playing bingo? Jimmy: Be nice to get something off the 'gram 💋 Janis: I ain't been since I was about 9 Janis: I wasn't after bitches then and I ain't now Janis: I wish you luck, 2 kids hanging on your arm and a woman back home, like Janis: Does it for some. Jimmy: I'd do some talking first to get things clear I'm not tall Tammy 😂 Jimmy: Bet you were a right cute kid, weren't you? Aww Janis: Again, have fun explaining that one, mate. I'd struggle with the concept and I'm in on it. Janis: Adorable. What happened? Jimmy: Shut up you know what you look like, mate Janis: A butch lezza? Janis: So I've been told 👍 Jimmy: That's not what they are saying anymore. Check my comments sometime. The lads are gagging for you now Janis: Goody gumdrops. Janis: I'll leave my knickers at the door, like Jimmy: You could like. I've been waiting for you to drop me as your fake bf since this whole thing started Janis: I'm not interested in any of them. Janis: Would your world be set alight by Aaron O'Reilly from form? Janis: If you wanna cop off with some of your fans don't let me stop you Jimmy: You aren't. They're not my type anymore than Aaron's yours. I'm just saying you take a crackin pic and I should know since I'm the one takin 'em. So you don't need to spout that crap. They're just jealous of how much of a butch lezza you aren't Janis: Alright. Well, you're not half bad at taking snaps, and not in the bullshit way every hoe thinks they know their angles and magic lighting these days, you're actually decent. Janis: It don't feel like crap when Janis: blah, meant to delete that, ignore it Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Wanna help me with my art project while we're away then? Kill all the birds (hopefully not with my flash) Jimmy: I'll owe you again Janis: I won't even joke on you for being a swot 🤓🤞 Janis: What've you got planned? Jimmy: I haven't had any time to think yet beyond film being the medium but Jimmy: #workinprogress Jimmy: with a muse like you m'dear how could I go wrong 💕 Janis: 😜 Janis: just so you know, i ain't bringing any homework but put my name or yours, yeah? 😘 not even in art but might count for something Janis: clue me in tho, brainiac, what do the kiddos like? i'll get 'em something Jimmy: Rookie mistake mate, art's an easy A Jimmy: They'll take anything covered in sugar. Can't say I'll love you for it when they crash mid journey though Janis: Only 'cos you're good at it. With my genes I should be but I can barely draw a stickman. Janis: I'll stick with double sports, sports science and science 👌 Janis: I'll keep sweets in stock for bribery, goes without sayin'! Different pocket to Twix' fish treats, though Janis: I'll have a look down town Jimmy: 😂 did you see that article doin the rounds about the mum who bought her kid a cat's advent calendar Janis: 😂 Yes! Shame catnip don't work like on us like it does cats, that kid would be pingin' Janis: Might get meself some, like Jimmy: What gets dogs off their heads? I'll keep Twix well clear Jimmy: She's high enough on your 😍 Janis: I don't know, actually...telling them they're good bois? Janis: Works for you boo 😘 Jimmy: I prefer being called a very bad boy 😎 Janis: You clown 😂 Janis: Good to know, suppose. Dirty weekend away though it ain't Jimmy: what our fans don't know won't break their jealous hearts Jimmy: you coming in for your freebies today or shall I do a delivery your way once Grace is home? 😉 Janis: Kick it really cliche and be my sexy delivery boy Janis: Try and bring something with sausage in so I can come at you with the quality porn writing Jimmy: Live your fantasies as well as your sister's if you want, my name tag says Jonathon today Janis: Ooh, spicing it up with some roleplay like we're middle-aged okay Janis: How boring are you that you've picked a name so similar to your own...this is why we've hit a dry patch, Jimothy! Jimmy: What would you seriously pick? Janis: For you? Janis: Who's a fittie... Janis: Anthony Joshua could get it Janis: You don't want to be in the play but reckon you can stretch to that? Jimmy: Next time I lose my name tag I'll insist on that. For the bae 💕 Jimmy: About as close as I'll get I think Janis: Who do you want? Janis: I wanna know your type Janis: Bar Tall Tammy Jimmy: Your sister obviously Janis: Fuck off, not even funny Janis: If that were true, you know where she lives bitch, I ain't stopping ya, she's practically shoe-horning you in 🤢 Jimmy: I meant the fit older one 😉 Janis: Ohhh Janis: Still, do one 🖕 I'm not pretending to be my sister you freak Jimmy: That's one pretense too far. Got it 😂 Janis: Yeah, in this hypothetical you've really shit the bed, pal. Jimmy: I only half read that because #customers and thought you called me shit in bed mate Janis: well... 😏 Jimmy: I fake rocked your world Janis Cavante! 😂 Janis: you know we faked it so i didn't have to fake it 💅 Jimmy: Aaron O'Reilly's walking through the door want me to slip him your number and end this? 😝 Janis: I will murder you. Janis: also he might think your trying to set up a threeway for YOUR benefit, so if you wanna take over the gay rumours that bad, go for it 💋🍆 Jimmy: I've seen you with a pool cue I think I'm safe Jimmy: Give a shit. At least I actually am butch Janis: Psh, you're all show no grow Janis: We're arm wrestling, then you'll see Jimmy: 💪 I'll beat you at that too then, shall I? 🏆 Janis: Bring it on. I won't make you cry too hard, save face in front of the kiddos. Janis: 'Let' them kick your arse too 😜 Jimmy: Try it, baby girl 😝 Jimmy: Cass probs could no lie. Scrappy af that one Janis: Good girl 👍 Janis: Gotta keep you in check Jimmy: Doubt you'll be calling her that when she's shadowed you all weekend Jimmy: She loves you. Who knows why? Janis: I keep telling you I'm a delight Janis: Has this...how long has it been? Month, 2? Of SHEER BLISS taught you nothing Janis: Ruuuuude. Jimmy: Nope. I'm with Team Bobby. You're a gross meanie Jimmy: As all girls are 😂 Janis: Well I'm winning Bobby 'round this weekend by hook or by crook Janis: then you can please yourself, billy no mates Janis: Team Janis 💪 Jimmy: Every bro knows you can't be friends with your girl Jimmy: DUH Janis: Oh yeah, all straight couples HATE each other and that's #goals Janis: If I can't be chatting shit on you, how will I get to talk about you constantly to my gals? Janis: Singing your praises? I THINK NOT Jimmy: Speaking of, Gracie and co are back on the premise that Tall Tammy left her....something. I wasn't listening. Should I break the news we won't be here for date night or do you want to do the honors Janis: Dignity? That's long gone, honey. Janis: Ooh, lemme do it, you're coming round with the sausage anyway Janis: We can do it together baby Jimmy: awhhh Jimmy: I've hidden the mistletoe but she can see the top of the highest counters!! I'm on borrowed time what do I do? Janis: Headbutt her in the teeth Janis: 'Accidentally' Janis: Can't help being a normal-sized human Jimmy: #customerservice Jimmy: then recommend her our chewy cookies 😂 Janis: You can see why I'm not trying to be your work wifey too, yeah? 😂 Janis: If you can convince any of those girls to break their diet, I'll be impressed Janis: Don't count if they go vom in the bogs after tho Jimmy: Gracie might be on her way already. One of her posse asked what you were getting me for Christmas and I didn't hold back Janis: Oh no, am I about to get slut-shamed? 😲 Janis: Or, heaven forfend, tips Janis: I will die Jimmy: Damn I didn't think of that. Sorry Janis: Its cool Janis: She's all mouth anyway, not in a beneficial to the cause way Janis: Be interesting hearing what she thinks you want, keep ya posted lol Jimmy: 🙌 Can't wait Janis: that's what you're meant to say about my present! Jimmy: I did, swear 🤞 Janis: what do you actually want Jimmy: Don't worry about it Janis: Oh, is it? If I'm not fucking your brains out you're not interested Janis: Fine then, save my reddies. 👍 Jimmy: That's what I was thinking. Stage a break up before 🎄 for max drama and min spends Janis: Cool. If you wanna. Janis: Just don't tell everyone you chucked me 'cos I wouldn't give it up. Already a frigit. Janis: What's the story then? Jimmy: Obviously not. We've been hooking up for ages got to keep it #goals Jimmy: I don't know haven't thought that far ahead it just makes sense to get out before gifting Janis: Yeah. Fair. Janis: Think on and let me know Jimmy: You too. We can brainstorm at the weekend. Nothing but time then Jimmy: Can't break up right after the break though Janis: Would look sus, yeah. Janis: Maybe I'll whup you one too many times, your fragile male ego can't hack it, eh? Jimmy: Grace'd be smug 😩 Jimmy: Can't even fake that, babe Jimmy: Nobody'd believe the story Janis: She's gonna be regardless Janis: I got the shitty end of the stick here like but ain't nowt we can do about it now Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: No we're goals we just burned too bright that's all 😂 Jimmy: You've got way more time served with me than she does any of her boos she doesn't win Janis: Mhmm. Calm down, Icarus. Sure you'll be comparing some other bint on a balcony to the sun in no time. 😘 Janis: Suppose so. Least hers are real, if not short-lived, and, well, shit. Janis: She won't know the difference anyway Jimmy: There's nobody like you 💕 Jimmy: Exactly I'm not going to tell her we weren't real Janis: Bullshit 💕 Janis: True enough, I'll take it. Jimmy: Shit gotta go the boss is back Jimmy: Love you 💕 Janis: Love you too, Jonathon 💕