#they're never beating the allegations oh my god

[meowmeowmessi]

they're both literally in the same country rn and still they communicate exclusively via mutual long-distance dickriding instead of setting up a meeting like normal people my god we are TIRED

[ariinurl]

Happy birthday to em ‼️‼️‼️

[koumeowkami]

screaming crying shaking uncontrollably

[poseiben]

head in hands. i'm not saying i'm a chaser but why the actual fuck do i keep accidentally finding trans people to hook up with/sleep with

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

🧠🪱Wiggly Wednesday🪱🧠

(This one ran away with me, whoops)

Batboy_Kas: Um ... dude, what? 🤨

This is the dm that greets Steve when he pulls his phone from his back pocket to check his Instagram. One confused frown, some scrolling, and one near-heart-attack later, he concludes that he forgot to lock his screen when he put the phone away earlier.

Which caused him to somehow end up on this random stranger's profile.

And go to his DMs.

And send him a GIF.

Not just any GIF. One of a grotesquely round and jiggly, animated ass. There's a text beneath the GIF. It reads: 2iggnag lg9gajdgka hfhdgjy.

"Aw, fuck!" Steve swears, neck prickling with heat as he types his reply.

Steve_Hairington: Shit, sorry. My ass typed that 😅

Batboy_Kas: Fitting choice of gif 🍑

Steve_Hairington: Yeah I guess

Batboy_Kas: You could say it's a ... smart ass

Steve snorts a laugh. What a dork! He's still debating if he should reply or leave it at that when Batboy_Kas sends his next message.

Batboy_Kas: So ... not even the tiniest chance you were flirting with me?

Steve_Hairington: Sorry dude. I prefer my men-

(He pauses to squint at the guy's profile pic. A cute little cartoon bat.)

-a little more human-shaped.

Batboy_Kas: Hey! That's just bc you've never had a creature of the night b4 🦇😉

Steve_Hairington: 🤣🤣🤣 Nice try, bat boy!

They end up texting (and flirting) regularly. Kas - named after some vampire dude from that dungeons and dipshits game Dustin enjoys - is a huge fantasy and music nerd, can keep up a string of banter for hours, and his dms quickly become the highlight of Steve’s days.

He knows better than to meet random faceless and nameless strangers from the internet, he really does. But when Kas says he's in town for work some two months later, Steve is a bit embarrassed at how fast he agrees to a date.

Kas doesn't really beat the vampire allegations when he shows up at their meeting point, skittish and nervous, clad in an oversized Metallica hoodie, drawn all the way over his head inspite of the sunny weather, dark shades obscuring his eyes.

He's cute, though. Sweet and almost shy without the distance and a screen between them, but still with that quick wit and edgy sense of humor Steve has come to like so much. A deep, rich voice that makes something inside Steve’s belly tingle, a hint of dark curls spilling out from his hood, and strong, calloused hands covered in rings, the edges of black tattoos disappearing into his sleeves. It makes Steve wanna take the stupid hoodie off him so that he can see all of him.

Which is exactly what he does when they take it to Kas's hotel room later that night. And God, the man is gorgeous. Dark, messy curls framing a pair of insanely dark brown eyes and the poutiest lips Steve has ever had the pleasure of kissing. An intricate web of tattoos that are just begging to be traced with his tongue.

Later, when they're lying together in an exhausted tangle of naked limbs and sweaty sheets, Steve snaps a photo and saves it as his phone background. He doesn't think much of it.

Until a week later, when Dustin opens his phone to read out a message while Steve is driving and starts shrieking so loudly they almost crash into a tree, bc why the fuck does Steve have a selfie of himself and Eddie Munson - frontman of the world famous metal band Corroded Coffin - on his phone and are you both naked, Steve???

Tagging some friends to share a brainworm of their own:

@cuips-not-cute @steddiecameraroll @postmodernau @oh-stars @steddie-island

@wynnyfryd @pennyplainknits @medusapelagia @hotluncheddie @sidekick-hero

[silverwarewolf]

DUNGEON MESHI EPISODE 24 THOUGHTS

Oh, I had asked to see what the party's thoughts regarding the changeling situation were, especially when it came to their lifespans, but I didn't think it would turn out like this!

GOOD FUCKING JOB, CHILCHUCK. YOU'VE TRAUMATIZED MARCILLE EVEN FURTHER. Oh but I do so love the horrors of this situation of theirs. Marcille babygirl I would like to hug you and have a nice chat.

Anywya, on we go to think about Falin and any solutions that might help us here. Which is great! I love how much foreshadowing there is (in terms of what I've been vaguely told about the manga).

Laios Touden's problem solving skills, everyone.

That's honestly the SICKEST weapon design, I'm so on board with you Laios. This could be Kensuke's Halloween makeover. BUT DONT JUST TAKE THOSE MUSHROOMS WITH YOU OH MY GOD

... was this the opening sequence foreshadowing everyone was freaking out about? was that it? (don't actually tell me, though. if it was it, say yes. if it wasn't, don't say anything)

no comment here I just love them.

I just will never get used to elfshi's hands being Like That. But it's also kinda nice to see him and Izutsumi working along so nicely! Like, don't even get me started on how Izu is presented as the pickiest eater of the party (Marcille has been dethroned severely) and usually you'd see that presented as a Hassle, but here in DM, Senshi doesn't even bat an eye. He knows and respects Izutsumi's tastes and preferences and works his meals out around it! That's such a based thing for him to do. <3

This is a renaissance painting. (I love it when they adapt Ryoko Kui's visual gags and I LOVE when she does zoomed in faces like this. Truly one of the artists ever)

I did not have "Laios gets Pissed On" on my bingo card but every day I grow more and more convinced that the animators KNOW what they're doing and - OH MY GOD IS THAT SENSHI'S DWUSSY. ELFSHI ALTERNATIVE TO PANTY SHOT.

Ah, yes, Izutsumi sprawls all over them when sleeping, we been knew, again it's a little unexpected to see it front and center but I guess it works to demonstrate them returning to - THAT WAS LAIOS??? AND CHILCHUCK IS JUST LIFTING HIS LEG LIKE THAT?? OKAY THEN. SURE.

(and then there's a few more seconds of laiosfoot and laios bedhead)

BUT HEY THEY'RE BACK TO NORMAL

1) Yep, they're back to normal.

2) Laios I love you and I love Gothsuke but someone needs to be careful about biohazards and it's not going to be you.

3) Add this to the "Marcille Donato gets threateningly close to you in three steps" folder.

4) Truly only they can match each other's freak. When the NECROMANCER is telling you not to do something, don't do it! I know last time you smuggled a "normal" sword, it turned out to be useful, but I'm sure that's not the case here!

5) Poor Laios tho. I'll learn to blacksmith just to give you a cool sword. <3

I'm so glad they kept this. One of the silliest touden siblings moments. 10/10 no notes. Also, Falin is never beating the blunt force trauma allegations.

IS THAT CHILCHUCK'S WIFE. ARE YOU - MA'AM. HELLO?

"Why aren't you a twink like I thought you'd be?!" gets adapted! (I'm pretty sure that's the scene meant to be here, anyways)

I get it, girl.

Oh dear, they're going to eat Falin. And SENSHI was the one to suggest it! For a guy who was just fighting the doubts of accidental cannibalism a week ago, you're taking bold steps forward.

(I do love how it mirrors Laios' kindness back then, in truth. Even if it's an idea so shocking and dire at first, it comes from a place of reason and logic and love)

Marcille "I said I wanted to eat her OUT, not eat HER" Donato Izutsumi "That's going to taste gross as fuck" Izutsumi Chilchuck "If it brings her back..." Tims Laios Touden, the man with a thousand things on his head right now, two of which I reckon are "I don't want to eat my sister" and "Dragon-Chicken... what might it taste like?"

Yes, well. Valid as your concerns are, Laios, because how the fuck would five people eat THAT much meat, you can't just ramble on about what dishes you're going to make out of your sister.

(...I get it, though. I mean if you're going to eat, might as well make it good, right? I know no one wants to grill one of Faligon's ribs but I'll go ahead and say it would be worse to tell them to eat her raw)

FUCK! we DID lose those scenes about the twin bell that toshiro kept!! forever sad about that.

oh my godddd they're going back into the dungeonnn we're going to reunite with themmm

I know they're really fucking competent, I mean, Namari and Toshiro are already described as pretty formidable warriors (and we've seen it), and Kabru is... admittedly much more geared to fight humans but he's a decent fighter either way. And a good leader!

Speaking of, where the fuck is everyone else.

I know they're meant to be scary (and I suppose they are! If we have the reference that, firstly, marcille is an excellent spellcaster so these elves could be just as good in their own areas of expertise, yes?, and secondly, the canaries are Well Known)

... plus, Namari, Toshiro and Kabru are wary of them. Namari, Toshiro and Kabru are wary of them.

BUT damn it Lycion, I need to- (gets dragged off stage)

Anyway, while we wait for the next season (WHICH HAS BEEN GREENLIT! WOHOO!), have these wonderful images of chicken falin being a cathedral painting (...if cathedrals ever added dragons, i guess) and my beloveds, who have finally returned!

[love-belle]

i love u forever !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which she's a baker and he's in love — even with a few incidents involved.

or

for when you want to spend the rest of your life laughing with them. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // carlos sainz x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - hiiiii :) back in my active era mid term is OVERRRRR !!!!! will be posting max's version for how u get the girl soon <3 i love u sm thank you so much for reading :)

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, lilymhe and 785,527 others

yourusername not pictured - carlos almost dropping the cake with LIT candles on my lap

tagged carlossainz55

7,628 comments

username OH MY GOD

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username CARLOS PLEASE WHAT

username he should come with a hazard warning

*liked by yourusername*

username SHE'S SO ADORABLE WHATTFFUCJ

username i wanna keep u in my pocket and feed u berries

-> yourusername omg

charles_leclerc i thought you learnt your lesson after the oven incident

-> yourusername it was a moment of weakness, i have definitely learnt my lesson now

-> username the oven incident????

-> username don't be shy drop the details 😁

username that is so carlos of carlos

username NAHH THIS MAN NEEDS TO BE STOPPED

-> username FRRRR like i thought that spatula incident on her ig live would be enough to convince her

landonorris knowing carlos, i'm surprised he didn't actually drop the cake

-> yourusername he got so damn close to it

username she's so cute i wanna bite her

-> yourusername please don't

-> lilymhe yeah only i can do that

-> carlossainz55 say what now

-> yourusername my love LOOK AWAY

username lily and y/n never beating the gfs allegations

username SHE'S SOOOOO PRETTY LIKE

username omw to wife her up ☺️

carlossainz55 keyword ALMOST

-> yourusername there shouldn't be an almost at all

carlossainz55 so pretty

-> yourusername all you

carlossainz55 mi amor ( my love )

-> yourusername ❤️❤️❤️

carlossainz55 i love you but please stop making me your assistant in baking

-> yourusername i will stop at MUFFIN

-> landonorris i giggled

-> carlossainz55 no that was bad

-> yourusername LMFAOAOA SORRY

username hahahahah!!! hellO there

username died gone deceased six feet under decomposing rotting

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, danielricciardo and 879,625 others

carlossainz55 of course she had to stop and take pictures

tagged yourusername

7,829 comments

username AHHHHH SO CUTE

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carmenmmundt love 💒💓

*liked by carlossainz55*

username SHE'S ADORABLE

username no bc my life's purpose is to go to her bakery like i HAVE to

username no bc they're THE f1 couple and i love them so ❤️❤️❤️❤️ and she's soooo sweet like hello

-> username NAH BC I MET HER IN LONDON AND SHE'S SOOOO SWEET LIKE AN IRL ANGEL

-> yourusername OMGGG UR THE GIRL WITH THE BLUE TOTE I LOVE U

-> username SHUT UP U REMEMBER ME

-> yourusername I STILL HAVE UR NECKLACE I WEAR IT EVERYDAY

-> username OMGJAJSJSKSKS IM GONNA CRY ILYSMSMSMSMSMS

charles_leclerc tell her i miss her and that she needs to bake those macaroons again

-> carlossainz55 she says no

-> charles_leclerc see i KNOW she would never say that

-> yourusername charles!!!!! come over tomorrow!!!!!! i'll bake whatever u want and bring alex 🤍

-> alexandrasaintmleux i love you 🤍

username i NEED to know if carlos is still her taste tester bc i know my man was suffering when she was still a beginner

-> username fr like he was out here fighting for his life everyday

username time to hug a tree at 283 mph

username seriously i deserve someone like this wtfff

username carlos ur catching these hands idgaf

landonorris please bring her apple pie

-> carlossainz55 no

-> yourusername yes******* i'll send some with carlos 🫶🏼

-> lilymhe you're not coming to the next race 💔💔💔

-> yourusername no im sorry my love💔💔💔💔

-> carlossainz55 no don't call her my love

-> lilymhe okayyyy stay salty

username listen im soooo happy for y'all but i DON'T need to be reminded that im painfully single every time i open this app

yourusername ofc i had to

-> carlossainz55 of course you did

yourusername why the last photo.

-> carlossainz55 my favourite ❤️

-> yourusername bye

yourusername i loveeeee you

-> carlossainz55 same

-> yourusername 🤺 say 🤺 it 🤺 back 🤺

-> carlossainz55 i loveeeeeeeeeeee you

username sigh.

username alr me when 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱

*yourusername added to their instagram stories*

[inf3ct3dd]

ellie headcanons pt.5!!!

warnings: nada

content: loser!ellie x reader headcanons

authors note : ellie dug a hole into my skull and moved in

⁃ against bags for no reason. like her pockets are constantly full of things. random receipts, money, headphones, EVERYTHING. she takes her pants of and they jingle cuz they're filled with COINS.

⁃ knows how to do a back bridge and just HAS to let everyone know. you're watching tv and she's just on the floor like "look"

⁃ i feel like shes the type of person to just start fully eating an orange in the middle of class. like ur listening to the teacher talk and you're just hit by the most aggressive wave of CITRUS from behind you

⁃ constantly fighting the air... like she's just in the kitchen punching and kicking at NOTHING just because. she's always coming up to you and like take punching you and doing her own sound effects like ���PWAH PWAH WAM WAPOW"

⁃ jar hoarder 😞😞 every time you buy anything that comes in a jar she's keeping it. literally won't let you throw them away!!! you guys don't even have cups anymore, its just jars and mugs.

⁃ speaking of mugs, ellie has just as many stupid mugs as she does stupid tshirts. absolutely has a lot of garfield mugs be she LOVES GARFEILD

- would buy a dry-erase board for your fridge and leave u little notes and drawings

⁃ "Every single time I see you, I become horny like a triceratops" with a little drawing of a triceratops"

⁃ breaks into incoherent ramblings when shes sleepy... like insane hypotheticals

"what if our bed just completely exploded right now"

⁃ whenever ur on facetime and it gets quiet she just breaks out into song. not even like good, trying singing but BAD SINGING.

⁃ she does that whenever it's quiet !!!

⁃ is listening to music CONSTANTLY. her headphones are actually attached to her ears like all DAY she's listening to something.

⁃ HATES THE BIG LIGHT (iykyk) she lives for low/ natural lighting definitely has so many lamps and led lights

⁃ can never sit normal.... like she is not beating the gay ppl sitting weird allegations she sits so ODD

⁃ will spend literal hours in the pool. doing flips, pretending to be a mermaid, 'making up' her own tricks, she lives for it & !!!

⁃ refuses to dress right for the weather. it'll be like 90° outside and shes in a whole hoodie and jeans.

⁃ has the WEIRDEST subway order. probably puts banana peppers on her shit 😭😭 she swears its the best thing ever

⁃ love's campy comedy movies, esp lesbian ones and horror movies (but im a cheerleader, bottoms, scary movie, etc) also def loves coming of age movies

⁃ has a letterbox account and makes extremely thought provoking reviews

literally her

⁃ always taking candids of you, and they're literally her favorite pictures

⁃ every time she sees two things next to eachother she's like "oh my god it's literally us!!"

⁃ one time she crashed her car and it literally fully flipped over and she just crawled out of the trunk and called you like "you would NOT believe what just happened to me."

- absolutely a waffles girl she needs the texture she likes the CRUNCH

⁃ but like she also loves bacon pancakes. like she's obsessed w adventure time and she makes bacon pancakes ALL THE TIME and she sings the song while she makes them

- eats trail mix like all day....she buys the giant jars and you make fun of her cuz she "likes eating nuts"

⁃ the most secret swifty ever. like she refuses to let it be known but she fully sobbed when she listened to folklore for the first time

⁃ obsessed w those baby sensory videos. like she will literally be entertained for hours

⁃ LOVES the lego movies, esp lego batman

⁃ the MOST honest shit talker ever like you'll be like "yeah she's just a really bad person" and she'd be like "she's also like disgustingly hideous...

⁃ her search history isn’t even weird or gross its just…random. like she’s definitely googled “how do cotton candy machines work” before

⁃ family guy enjoyer.....

⁃ her cf story is like insanely long n its filled w random memes she reposts and insane ramblings

taglist!!!! if ur name is crossed i can't tag u :((

@syrenada @dinaissoprettyoml, @kingofmylastkiss @as2rid @greencacty @melissabarrerass @bratydoll @lov3lylotus @forelliesposts @echostinn @f3r4Ifr0gg3r @r3wbeef @leatheredhearts @mousymaven @mina-281@princessguardian444 @calystas-morning-tea @horror-whoree @slutshies @bearieio @mag-mfm @bubs-world @paran0id0blivi0n @sawaagyapong @bbygrIshelbs @gayh0rr0r @p|9ys @ellieslilsIvvt @dollietes @elliesmellsbadd @ibloom4u @ddreabea @beestar120 @brunettedolls-blog @girlwonderchloe @elliesgflol @maris-koffin @emonopolyman @iloveeyousblog @fr3sh-tragedies @ilovaffles @certifedcrybunny @elleatethat @baldph0bic @clouded-whispers @4rt3m1ss @saggykneecaps @swtsuna @ellesslutt @minixmel @yuyans-stuff @owmoiralover @thecowardwrites @lunascerebro @elliestrwbrry @iwantsoda @teeveegirl @dinasmoon @urnewghostfriend @k3ym4ra @bratzboydoll @ungodlyvenus @lav3nd3rhaze @scokslvoer @iloveunrealpeople @realwinehouse @nehemiahlicious @onedeaddreamer @teawithnosugar @r4t1ku5 @villainousbear @mentallymarriedtonatasharomanoff @gay4tiddies @uraesthete @lil-elliesgf @neighborhood-houseplant @sagessensationalstuff

[lovelyiida]

KATSUKI BAKUGO X SECRETARY READER • A 500 FOLLOWERS SERIES!

❥ SYNOPSIS: as the years passed, Bakugo came to the realization that he was the last among his class to tie the knot. As the days grew colder, and the nights became lonelier. Bakugo finds the desire to get married, but he doesn't really feel like falling in love. At least he has his trustee secretary!

implied fem reader, aged-up! Pro-hero MHA characters over the age of 27, vulgar language, suggestive wording and content

❥: CHAPTERS

❥ MASTERLIST

❥ JOIN TAG LIST!

WORDS: 4.3K

PS: Please let me know if you have filled out the tag form since the last update so I can keep up to date!!

CHAPTER 8: VULNERABILITY

PHASE 2: CONSOLE

“Beady-eyed, dog-mannered, dimwad!”

Headline, headline, headline!

PRO-HERO DYNAMIGHT EXPLODES IN ANGER DURING INTERVIEW

[unreleased footage from Pop! Magazine spreads like wildfire!]

Over 3 million views, and 10 thousand shares.

Since the dawn of the moon, you have been repeatedly refreshing the page. Each and every comment was scanned with frantic-fast movements. Relishing in this whole interview fiasco from the comfort of your queen-sized bed, you moaned in anguish.

Your face became increasingly hot as you read the comments with your third glass of wine in hand. As much as you thought the comments would be demeaning to the pro-hero, the exact opposite happened!

[COMMENT] Did you see how he took up for his secretary? Omg, that was so hot.

• 45k likes • 216 shares

[COMMENT] The way he took her hand going off the set!!!!

• 78k likes • 12k shares

[COMMENT] Oh god, send me a man like Dynamight…

• 57k likes • 2k shares

[COMMENT] Bro there’s no way they aren’t fucking

• 180k likes • 3.8k shares

Of course, that’s the top comment.

Staring at your computer, you tried hard to fathom the situation you were now slapped into. The video of you and Dynamight has gone viral, and everyone now suspects that you two are in a relationship.

And they're not entirely wrong...

Despite your late-night attempts to contact the fiery hero, your calls went straight to voicemail and your texts went unanswered. Letting out a large sigh that was once trapped in your chest, you had no choice but to sit there and let the bomb explode. And await the absolute nuke that was urging to be dropped at the office.

Staring at the messages you sent Dynamight, you scowled. “Flashy piece of carbon fiber pants thinks he’s the shit and can just ignore my messages? Leaving me to the wolves once again!” you shouted in anger. You threw your phone to the end of your bed and buried yourself in your plush duvet. Your throat becomes tight as your eyes are welled with tears.

“I’m gonna teach you, Dynamight, to never fuck with me or any other secretary again.”

The pattern of clicking heels and bustling conversations filled the office today. Usually, the bleak energy of Dynamight's office could be caught with little to no attention. But the sight you’ve seen today was out of the ordinary.

“The printers are down; just send emails!”

“Has anyone been in contact with Pop Magazine? They’re completely blocking our calls!”

“God damn it, I need a raise!”

The chitter-chatter amongst your coworkers is at an all-time high. As you started to quicken the pace of your steps around the office, scowls and stares were slapped across your face. Stepping foot by foot, you reach the bathroom and hide in the nearest stall.

The door bursts open before you can even think about taking another breath. “Can you believe Dynamight fired Hitomi and Sakura for telling the truth? I mean, the whole floor has seen the video! Even Red was speechless.” A woman says her friend snickers at her remark before chiming in.

 “I’d like to see little miss Secretary say something now; she’s not beating the slut-cretary allegations at this point–”

You didn’t know what came over you at the moment, but your feet began to move before your mind could comprehend what the actual fuck was going on. Slamming the stall open, you watch the two women flinched at your action. Eyes going wide, they stare into your soulless eyes, filled with an incomprehensible anger that you didn’t know was held within you.

“First off, let’s get one thing straight right now.”

You said it flatly, closing the stall behind you. You walked up towards the duo and closed in on them. “Me and Dynamight are not a thing; have you ever taken into consideration that I’m the only person who’s in charge of this man's reputation and career, as we both fucking know it?”

"So, of course, I’ll be hip-and-hip with the brute. Do you think I want that man in that play-pen he calls a fucking office? Oh please, Dynamight needs my ass because he can barely keep his head on every second of the day. So just maybe, we should all realize how valuable I am to all of your lives!”

“Because I know that if I wasn’t here, this building would be in flames, man-made or not.”

You spoke sternly with each huff of your breath, and the two women in front of you were left speechless. Your frown soon curled into a small twitch of a smirk before you spoke once more. “So excuse me for needing to be spoken up for. You bitches, have a nice day.”

Without looking back, your feet trailed confidently out of the boss battle that was the ladies' room and straight toward Dynamight's office. With each harsh click of your heels, you stepped closer to the office, your frown stuck and growing deeper by the second. Your coworkers took into account the drastic shift in your demeanor. From shy and outspoken to confident and ten cans of bitchy.

Without thinking twice, you throw the door open with a small huff and walk into the domain of the pro-hero. Closing the door softly, you turn at your heel and scowl at Dynamight. His amber eyes burn back at you with an almost unamused look, unphased by the absolute chaos ensuing beyond the Acia wood door.

“So what? Are we just going to ignore what the press is saying about us?” You said flatly.

“I ignored your annoying ass text messages pretty much the same way,” he snapped back slyly.

This asshat.

As you stormed towards his desk, you slammed your hands against it with a loud slap that made your palms sting. “Is it possible for you to actually talk about the issue and not be a fucking brat?” You spat with anger.

Dynamight's laidback/unbothered exterior soon crumbles in slow motion. From sitting back in his seat, he approaches you with a smooth motion, his eyes glowing amber-red as his elbows land on said desk. Looking straight into your eyes, a devilish smirk etches across his face.

“Say that again for me, Y/N; go ahead.”

Faces close to one another, you could feel the heat radiating off of the hero. You frown at his attempt at intimidation, snapping your eyes away for a single millisecond before you feel a strong, warm grip on your face.

“No, don’t look away now, pretty. Say what you just said to me again. Since you have all the audacity in the world today,” he said with amusement oozing from his tone. You groaned at the sensation of his hand gripping your face, swallowing down your fear. You spoke once more.

“I said, Man up, brat.”

A long-standing pause settles over the room as his gaze burns into your eyes. Suddenly, Dynamight stands up with one swift move. The blonde removes his hand from your face, you moan in anguish at the fade of his unsettling grip and stare into the blonde's eyes once more.

You watch as the hero points his finger at himself with a mischievous smirk,

“You wanna see a brat? I’ll show you a fucking brat!”

He brushes past you and storms out of the room. Shouting your name for you to follow, you quickly turn to follow in blood-curdling anger. You knew he was a pro and all, but there’s a statistic that for every 1 out of 5 chances, a villain can take a perfect hit at a hero of his caliber.

So you might take a chance and strike him at his weak point…

Preferably somewhere in the lower region.

You watch as Dynamight calls for an emergency meeting, calling for all staff to be in attendance. All staff from each agency scurry behind his steps, and even Red Riot follows suit. He tries to calm the hero down, but his efforts fail.

As the workers sat swiftly to hear the beloved hero's comments, your heart began to beat a new rhythm as the truth dawned on you about what you dreaded would happen next.

"So, I believe we all understand why we're in here. So let's address some rumors and set them to fuckin’ rest."

A sudden pang of fear hits your chest and seeps into your body as you hear the words fall off Dynamight's tongue and through the audience of your coworkers. Eyes scan the room until your eyes fall upon a certain red-headed main in the back towards the exit.

Letting out a soft exhale of relief, you speed your way toward Red Riot.

“Red!” You spoke aloud as you gained the attention of the other pro hero. His eyes snap towards you and he points towards his beloved partner in utter confusion. “What the hell is happening now?” He exasperates in exhaustion.

“He’s having a hissy fit because he can’t handle when the public negatively views him–”

“Negative?” He interrupted. You roll your eyes and raise your hands, completely giving up on the situation playing in front of you. “Dude bumped up 10 ranks in public favor, what the hell could he be upset for?” Red Riot spoke in confusion.

Holding your briefcase towards your chest, you sigh at the current baby of the hero stabbing daggers into your form.

“I…I’m not sure.”

As the assembly room filled up, every person in their seat watched attentively as they awaited the hero's urgent message. The blonde clears his throat before groggily shoving them in his pants. Silently pacing back and forth the head of the room with slow steps, eyes still trained onto you.

“I know what everyone is thinking to themselves, why the fuck are we here? Well, I need to address some petty rumors that are going on in the concrete hellscape.”

“All Might save us…” Red Riot groaned quietly as he watched in secondhand embarrassment at the Blondes' stunts.

"If you think me and my secretary have a romantic relationship, I'm afraid you're damn wrong.”

“Don’t listen to what I might’ve said in the past, or what I’ve said in the present. It ain’t true.”

Blah blah blah, blop blop blop.

You swore you could’ve seen physical bullshit fly out of his mouth.

“To prove this…I’m happily engaged!” The hero boasts confidently to the crowd of his workers. Shoving his right hand out of his pocket and out towards the expecting crowd. A diamond-banded ring shone brightly in the bright haze of corporate lighting.

Then, in a moment both shocking and surreal, Dynamight seizes the attention of the room with a declaration that sends ripples of astonishment through the assembled crowd. With a brashness that borders on audacity, he confronts the swirling rumors head-on, his words cutting through the murmurs like a lightning bolt.

In the sudden hush that follows, the truth is laid bare, raw, and unfiltered. The bombshell revelation of your engagement sends shockwaves through the room, leaving jaws agape and minds reeling. Eyes widen in disbelief as whispers erupt, spreading like wildfire among the stunned onlookers.

Yet, amidst the chaos, Dynamight stands undaunted, his demeanor unwavering despite the tempest of reaction he has incited. His confidence radiates as he confronts the storm of speculation with a rare candor, unapologetic in the face of scrutiny.

Calm within the midst of the business casual storm.

As for you, on the other hand, you could only think of one thing to do in this situation. Your feet rush towards the blonde with a speed never before seen, and your hand flies back as far as possible before landing a seething slap on the hero’s cheek.

Dynamight lets out a gasp of shock (and so does everyone else in the room) at your hit. You stood in front of the hero for only a moment before rushing out of the room and straight out of the office.

And now what was left of you was your body sulking under your covers once more. Leaving you to pick up the pieces of your self-worth once more.

You should consider just giving up, calling off the engagement, and leaving the industry for the rest of your life. A soulless desk job would be better than whatever the fuck this reality is right now.

So much for that speech in the ladies' room...

You tried hard to care for and take up for the hero you worked for, but at times like this, your vendetta only grew stronger. And the more your sister became right. But there's a voice in the back of your head that is somewhat empathetic for the hero.

Look at his family, for All Might’s sake!

An overprotective bitch for a mother, and an emotional father with no backbone.

(it’s okay for men to show their emotions!!!)

Of course, that would create a man with a lack of emotions and a soul-crushing ego to overcompensate for it.

Of fucking course!

Sighing into your pillow, you could only fantasize about the words you’d want to say to that man right now. 

“Tight pants, brazen-boned, bastard.” You grit your teeth together, as the words only make you angrier. “Beady-eyed, dog-mannered, dimwad!” You throw your blankets off your body and jump out of bed. Rushing towards the kitchen, you grab the fridge handle and swing the door open.

“Fuck!”

No beer.

Huffing out a defeated sigh, you eye the clock on the counter. It read 11:45.

Licking your lips, you ponder as you stare at the fridge and back at the clock. You might as well go out for a walk to cool some steam off. Shuffling over to your coat rack, you lazily threw on a hoodie and some slides. Grabbing your purse and your keys, you open the door to your apartment.

Rummaging in your purse for some convenience store coupons, you continued on your slew of words. “I bet he’s not even a real blonde, just a poser of a man-baby–”

“Hah?”

Eyes snapping wide from the voice, you jump back in shock as you see the man of the hour.

“What the hell are you doing here, Dynamight? Do you know what time it is?” You exclaimed in shock, mouth twisted down into a frown. You stared down at the blonde in anger and in utter embarrassment. Looking down further, you noticed he had a couple of bags in his hands.

Beer and chicken?

“Let me in, we need to talk.”

You scoff at the man's words as you throw your purse over your shoulder. “As if, do you know how you embarrassed me and you today?” You spoke with venom at the hero. Dynamight rolls his eyes before he speaks once more, “If it makes you feel any damn better, I made them all sign NDAs.”

You stare at the hero once more in confusion, and he stares back…unwavering in his actions.

“Okay, sure, do whatever you think will place a bandaid over this whole shit show for all I care.” Placing your hands on your hips, you watch the pro hero step towards you. “Yeah? Well, it's a pretty strong bandaid.”

You hum back in response before the both of you fall into silence. The both of you gazed at each other awkwardly, before tearing your gaze away. A light blush warms your face which makes you look down once more. Looking at the bags of fried chicken and beer, you look at Dynamights hand…

His engagement ring is still on!

“You idiot!”

Frantically looking around the outside of your apartment, you turn back and quickly open the door. You then hold the hero by the collar before shoving him inside. He follows suit with a grunt before shutting the door behind him.

“What the hell is your problem?” He cursed at you.

“My problem? My problem is that you come out to my doorstep late at night bearing a peace offering with your ring on, shining brighter than ever! Fuck-face!” You cursed back. This makes the blonde smirk at your complaint.

“If you think someone is watching us, then you’re pretty late to the party,” he chuckles.

“W-what?” you stuttered in anxiety, breaking from his gaze. You locked the doors and shut the blinds to your home. “Calm down; I paid them off a long time ago,” Dynamight rummages through the bags before setting the food and beer out on the dining table.

“Paid them off?” you asked.

“Yeah, they started watching you as soon as you pulled that stunt at the children's interview a while back. They were going to trample your door down just for a couple of gabs about me.” He spoke, cracking open a can of beer. The hero takes a couple of gulps before placing the can down.

Pulling out a chair, the hero sat down and began to speak. “You think you do all of the protecting when it's me.” He takes another swig of his beer as he stares into your eyes. You swallow a lump in your throat before you grab a seat as well.

“But you can’t say I haven’t.” You trailed off.

“Haven’t what?” He asked.

“Took care of you; everyone thinks you're this strong force to never be reckoned with, but you’re the complete opposite,” you rambled as you grabbed a can of beer and cracked it open. Taking a refreshing, much-needed swig.

Katsuki never responded.

“Y’know, it’s crazy how much this position has changed me. For the good or worse… I’m not so sure.” You spoke softly towards the hero.

“And why do you think that, Y/n?” He asked.

You bit the inside of your cheek at the question. “Before I came to this agency, I never knew what it was like to take care of someone besides myself. And even then, I was doing a shit job at it. My life was teetering on by a thin string.”

The room was silent, the only noises being the taping of Katsuki’s foot, the ticking of the clock, and the hum of your refrigerator.

“So what? You’ve never helped someone out before? Beating someone’s ass with your quirk? Nothin’?” Katsuki spoke, trying to understand where you’re coming from. But you could only let out a big sigh.

"Well, technically, I’m kinda quirkless.”

Katsuki’s tapping stopped.

He gave you a look you’ve never seen before; his eyes were growing soft and his chest began to fall. Like he’s loosening up or something. The blonde stared intensely at you, waiting for you to speak once more. Biting your lip, you continued once more.

“It's like it comes in little spurts, no matter how hard I try to concentrate and force it out. It’ll only come out at the randomest of times. I’ve never seen myself at full power before.”

“One moment I was just like you, young and so excited about my quirk. I grew up thinking that I was going to save the world and that I’d work hard and conquer my way to the top. But the thing is, as yours grew stronger, I was only getting weaker. And the next thing I knew, I woke up, and it was gone.”

“So I went through life with the mentality that I needed to give myself a bit more attention; I couldn’t just wing through life knowing that my quirk could save me. But I knew that if I could have a position of power, that would make me feel like I was making a difference out there for you of all people…”

You suddenly laughed at yourself, taking another swig of your beer.

“Sorry, I don’t even know what I’m saying, I’m already buzzed.”

“No.”

You looked at Katsuki as he spoke, a frown on his lips as he shook his head. You couldn't help but laugh at his demeanor. “All I’m saying is that maybe I wasn’t as cut out for this as I thought I would be. Maybe I’m meant to be a walking target that villains can smell. I’m a walking damsel in distress, honestly. If we didn’t meet through the agency, we could’ve met that way most likely–”

“Shut up.”

Katsuki deadpanned at your words.

“I knew someone who was quirkless, and that loser is stronger than me for all might’s sake!” He exclaimed.

“All I’m saying is that you have a good life, so be proud of it. You work hard, harder than I’ve seen most of the chicken heads that I’ve hired. So bask in that glory.” He says softly, you roll your eyes before you start up again.

“I have a good life? Says the multi-acclaimed pro hero Dynamight! Ranked number two out of the whole country, he drives a red sports car, lives in a nice childhood home, goes to a great school, gets to roll around in money, and gets to tell people how they should dress for five days out of the week? Right, my life is really good.”

You snorted at yourself, reveling in the truth you spoke. But all Katsuki could do was shake his head.

“That same person who you were talking about has almost died countless times, kidnapped in their first year of high school, and has lost too many friends and mentors to count. So yeah, I consider you to have a good life.”

You let out a bittersweet chuckle at his words, “There’s one more thing too.” You added on, Katsuki raised his eyebrows in amusement, “like?”

“You’re also the last to get married.”

Katsuki rolls his eyes and lets out an amused smirk. “Right, that’s checkmate for me–”

“How come you’re the last? I would think that you’d be the first! You’re not a bad-looking guy; you might need to work in the emotional availability department but. You’re crystal clear.”

“I uh…  I tried to do the whole young love thing but it didn’t work out in my favor.” He responded softly towards the touchy subject, but you decided to persist.

“And why do you think that, Katsuki?”

Back when Bakugo was a younger, newly emerged pro, there was someone of his caliber that he found perfect. They had the spunk, the quirk, the personality, the looks, even the barons. He believed they were perfect for each other.

He had his sights set on them since he had been working in the force. At first, they were a nice distraction. Clever banter turned into hot makeout sessions. Training days turned into blanket-covered nights where the both of them would talk about their future.

And back then, he believed it. He believed that he had a future with them.

Sometimes he would envy Kirishima; he didn’t understand why he wasn’t chosen to bear the burden of love. A warmth beyond his comprehension, a family that he could selfishly call his own.

Sometimes his mind would trail back to that night. A night that he wished he could forget. A thought that he wished could be locked away forever. He remembers the sight as he looked into their eyes—the utter betrayal.

The smirk of mischief and evil as the one and only person he ever could love has turned against him. The moment when he got stabbed in the chest, too close to his heart. And in that moment, he had to choose selfishly in a way he never wanted to.

And that choice was his life over theirs.

You didn’t know what to say at the moment, Katuski just dropped the biggest bomb you had the burden of holding. Stammering with your thoughts, you say the first thing that comes to mind. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, Katsuki…”

“I would’ve never known–”

“It wasn’t for you to know; I don’t even know why I told you that,” he said to himself. You softly smile at his harsh words.

“Well, not to toot my own horn but I’m your fiance,” you chuckled. Katsuki gives you a smirk before he looks at your hand. "Then, where’s your ring?” He asked.

“In my room, placed somewhere safe and out of harm's way!” you smiled.

"Well, I’m gonna need you to start wearin’ it more,” he retorted.

“I figured that after your little speech, you gave us away like you weren’t even trying.” You spat out sarcastically. “I didn’t even mention your name!” He raised his voice in protest. “Yeah? Well, I’m sure everyone connected the dots to a perfect fuckin T.” You spoke with a smirk.

"Well then if they decide to connect those lines to the press, that NDA will be there waiting for them to get bit in the ass,” he snapped back.

You laugh at his words before taking a final sip of your beer.

“Why did you choose to give yourself a chance with me?”

Oh, you were buzzed.

“You are a hero that’s supposed to date other heroes, top models, and superstars of your caliber. Why date some small-town secretary that doesn’t even fully have a quirk?” you spoke, just above a whisper. Scared of his next response. Feeling that as if you got the wrong response, you just might hurl all over him.

Katsuki lets out a sigh before he silently panders to himself. He was eyeing you up and down before he finally spoke with a smirk.

“I’m not sure, wishful thinking?”

“asshole”

YAAAAAAAAASSSSUHU IM BACK IM BACK

I saw all your comments begging me to come back, next chapter when? next chapter when? NEXT CHAPTER NOW HOE

As you all might know now, I am a busy college student who finally has time to fantasize and write to my heart's content. SO YOU WILL BE GETTING MORE CHAPTERS OUT OF ME VERY SOON!!

Thank you all so much for the support, I love you all and hope you guys have an amazing read! Please let me know how I did in the comments. Comments and reposts are very much appreciated!!

— lovelyiida 

❥: @xo-evangeline, @inlovewithteo217, @im-better-than-your-newborn, @nar00, @king-dynamight, @gold24fish, @xasilex, @the-queen-of-sorrows , @itgetzweird08 , @yoyosocks165 , @pebblepoop , @lovra974 , @bakugospartner , @gaby-11 , @akqsa-xxi , @jolynegf , @goldenglow149 , @aliruuiz , @zukowantshishonourback , @ilovedenk-i , @atsushiki , @smolbeanzzz , @lem-hhn , @stevenknightmarc , @katsu-shi , @ryumiii , @idontevenknowlolls , @lyn07 , @kennshifts , @ackerman-suck-3-r , @alicen23 , @xasilex , @elegantvoids , @lowkeyremi , @plutounderbridges , @k0z3me , @thecurlyhairedgoddess , @sunyrose , @winterv-black , @chuugarettes , @kiarathace , @thisbicc , @thekookiecorner , @hyu-hl , @katsukisxslut , @optimisticprime3 , @cosmicbreathe , @yessimo , @sanemishina , @snxwycloud , @cosmic-rainstorm , @vinivave , @venus-xxoo , @lavender99 , @iluv-ace , @artfulthoughtsblog , @thatcreepycat , @prettylittleshady , @lavalampfullofsoup, @melodykittya , @bakugoiidaswaifu, @queendynamite2001, @starxsage, @mikestuffffs, @queendynamite2001, @kazuumii, @Minori-taiga1, @Liveurlifetothefullest

[lovinbarzal]

VEGAS

beckett sennecke x fem! media manager! reader

masterlist | fc shay rudolph| backstory: reader is gibson's younger sister and has taken over as media manager for the ducks since the last retired! she'll be attending ucla! she's also a dancer/cheerleader! another things is that these two would've met earlier this year while beckett was playing for the oshawa generals. they ran into each other while she was vacationing with her friends during the all star weekend but didn't start dating till about two months ago. | might post a part two idk

y/ngibson has posted !

liked by beckettsennecke_, johngibson36, and others

y/ngibson when in vegas

load comments

johngibson36 you're never allowed in vegas again

↳ y/ngibson nuh uh

accone y'all find it weird that she only posted a pic of beckett & not the other draft picks???

↳ acctwo i was gonna say sum but i didn't want to seem rude of smth😭

trevorzegras ur not old enough to gamble, little gibson 🤨

↳ y/ngibson dont remind me😔🤕💔

lhughes_06 nice 👍🏼 xoxo, gossip girl

↳ y/ngibson go piss girl🤩

↳ accthree they're never beating the dating allegations...

↳ accfour aren't they like six years apart😭

↳ accthree they're only 3 years apart!

beckettsennecke_ i would like to state that i took NO PART IN GAMBLING!! I AM A MINOR!!

↳ y/ngibson liar.

↳ beckettsennecke_ nuh uh

↳ y/ngibson DONT STEAL MY THING!

↳ accfive hear me out...

↳ accfour i mean the guy in the fifth pic is wearing a suit like becketts

cuttergauthier_ chillllllllsssssss

↳ y/ngibson kms

↳ cuttergauthier_ no

↳ y/ngibson best friend first, suicide risk second😻

↳ cuttergauthier_ we are not best friends...

↳ y/ngibson DOES OUR TRIO BEST FRIEND BRACELETS MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?! @/leocarlsoon

↳ leocarlsoon oh god

y/ngibson has posted to their story !

[bellysoupset]

Carsickness?

Leo was bouncing his leg up and down as they waited for Bella and Luke to get out of the house. He was trying to keep an upbeat attitude, after all Jonah was already cranky enough for both of them, but it was hard when those two idiots seemed to always be late for everything.

"How are you gonna run for mayor if you cannot make it to a 9 AM appointment, Luke?" Leo groaned, as they finally walked out, Lucas bouncing on his feet, while Bella trailed after him with a tired demeanor.

"I'm running for mayor?" Luke frowned, jumping the last two steps and messing up Leo's hair, causing the blonde to shove him off with a scoff.

"Give it five years," Leo grumbled, while Jonah simply huffed, arms crossed to his chest and leaning against his car.

"Twenty three minutes," Jon said through his teeth, leveling Lucas with a glare, then Bella as well for good measure, "you two said you'd be waiting for us, twenty three minutes ago."

"Oh my, you're going to die because you waited twenty minutes?" Lucas rolled his eyes, "you're the one who invited us, if you don't want us-"

"Actually, I invited Bella," Leo cleared up, feeling a smidge of amusement over his annoyance that matched his boyfriend's. If there was one thing they could agree on was that being late was terrible.

Luke made a wounded face, all but pouting and stumbling into place, "Ah... You don't want me to go...?"

Well, shit.

More often than not they could joke and all be sarcastic and mean and it barely registered, but in truth the last thing that Leo wanted was to hurt his friends. He let out a sigh, "I didn't say that."

"God, you guys are so mushy," Bella groaned, planting a hand on her husband's back and shoving him forward, "get in the car, Atwood."

It was all the incentive they needed and they got the party on the road. Leo was driving, for once, because he really didn't want to go pick up his new car feeling carsick and woozy. Jonah was still in a shitty mood, but he had retrieved JD from her cat carrier box and was petting her, a clear tell his mood would be looking up soon enough. And Luke wouldn't shut the fuck up.

He was like a little kid, or rather, a puppy trapped in the backseat of their car that was far too small for him. Bella was leaning against the door, curled up slightly and watching him with a fond smile on, not seeming bothered by the fact he didn't seem able to stand still.

Leo wondered if he had that same type of stupid love struck look on when he looked at Jonah, because for all Bella wanted to upkeep her bitchface, she was clearly smitten to hell and back.

"Do you guys wanna stop for breakfast?" Luke pushed his face slightly against the window as they drove by a side of the road restaurant.

"Our appointment is at 10h30 AM" Jonah reminded them, "no stopping."

"Can we turn music on?"

"No."

"You're gonna remove that stick from your ass or...?" Lucas rolled his eyes, sliding his had in between seats so he could pet JD, only for Jonah to turn his body away, shielding the cat.

Leo caught Bella's eyes in the rearview mirror and she was grinning like mad, leaning to whisper in his ear, "they're never beating the sibling allegations."

Leo snorted at the thought, glancing at Jonah once more and the frankly very similar jawline he had with Luke... Whatever. They had enough family drama without needing to turn their group into a full blown soap opera with paternity reveals and what not.

The shop they were headed to was in Portland and not the best area of the town, hence why Leo had asked Bella to tag along. If there was one person in their friend group that he trusted with mechanics it was Bell, and even more so to kick the ass of anyone trying to scam him.

The opportunity had just been too good to pass up, a beautiful white SUV that had Leo already imagining himself inside of it like a prince and better yet, that fit the price he had set for himself. Of course Jonah had bitched and moaned about getting a second hand car, but he could bitch and moan all he wanted, Leo wanted to pay for his own car thank you very much.

Again, if there was anyone who understood that, it was Bella and her Jurassic car, that was older than both their ages combined.

"Uhm, Leo," Bella poked his shoulder, "can you pull over? Over there," she pointed over his shoulder to a quiet street in a bit of a broke down neighborhood. No, he did not want to pull over Jon's fancy BMW, but he did anyway.

"What's wrong?" Lucas asked, who had successfully managed to pspspsp JD to rest her little head in his hand, turning to look at his wife.

"Just a second," Bella mumbled, pushing his had away from her waist when Luke tried to hold her, and opening the door.

She circled the car and Leo frowned, looking at Jon with a puzzled expression, "what the hell...?" in the rearview mirror he saw Bella brace against the trunk, taking deep, measured breaths... Then bend down and disappear from view.

"What the fuck!?" Leo echoed his incredulity, throwing his own door open just in time to hear her retching, half muffled by Luke's exaggerated, "BELL!"

Leo got out as well, while Jon kept his ass planted inside, but threw open his door, carefully moving JD back to her carrier.

As soon as Leo rounded the back, he found Bella almost down to her knees, coughing. She was holding on the back of the car with one hand, while the other one was trying - and sort of failing - to keep back her hair. There was a small puddle of vomit, but nothing much.

"Why didn't you say you were feeling sick, baby?!" Lucas skipped down to his knees, grabbing her and starting to rub her back, causing Bella to let out an annoyed groan.

"I'm fine..." She panted, eyes squeezed shut and breathing slowly through her mouth. Leo raised his eyebrows, not sure if he was impressed by her ability to lie in face of the evidence or not.

"Did you get carsick?" he asked, sidestepping the mess and Bella shook her head, blowing out a small burp and leaning more forward. Luke planted a hand on her forehead, supporting her head as her stomach, appearing thanks to her crop top, heaved once more.

Leo cringed in sympathy and returned to the car, where Jonah had a queasy frown on, "no," Leo knelt on the seat, poking his fiancé, "no bitching at her for getting sick, be nice."

"I'm not a dog," Jonah barked at him and JD meowed, sounding offended just like her owner. Leo snorted, grabbing a water bottle in the glovebox and showing his tongue to his cat.

"Stop siding with him, little miss, he doesn't even give you extra snacks," Leo whispered, then walked back to the back, where Bella was trying and failing to cough up more of last night's dinner.

"Shh," Luke held her hair back now, deciding to make himself useful, and was rubbing her back with the other hand, "deep breaths, baby."

"Shut- Shut up," Bella groaned, gulping down nauseously. She lifted up her head to look at Leo, "I'm sorry..." her throat bobbed dangerously, "just give me a minute."

"No, take your time," Leo frowned, "don't worry about the appointment, the guy can wait ten minutes."

The irony of his words, when they had been bitching about waiting just an hour before, was not lost on Leo and he opened a smile. Bella offered him a little queasy smirk, before groaning, "oh god-" and heaving again, managing to bring up a mouthful of brightly colored stuff against the tarmac.

A gruesome sight, really. Leo's disgust probably showed on his face, because Luke glared over Bella's head, "go away," he said roughly and Leo jumped, spooked.

"Sorry, I- I'm gonna give you some privacy, sorry-" he walked backwards to the driver's side and entered, feeling a stab of guilt. He didn't mean to make Bella self conscious, hopefully this was just Luke being insane...

"Is she alright?" Jon asked, glancing at the rearview mirror. They couldn't see much, just Luke rubbing his wife's back and Bella's bending down with another heave, "that was out of nowhere."

"It's this stupid stanced car," Leo grumbled, crossing his arms, "I wouldn't survive 10 minutes in the back."

"My car is not stanced," Jon wrinkled his nose, offended, "it's just a sports car."

"The back is cramped."

"Luke was fine and he's twice her size," Jonah pointed out, then perked up as the couple in question walked back to the car.

Bella collapsed inside, holding the water bottle to her face, appreciating the cool surface. Her voice was all raspy as she said, "sorry, guys," she gulped down, "don't know what happened."

"Carsickness is a bitch," Leo volunteered, then nearly laughed as he saw Luke trying to fix Bella's top and her shoving his hand away and hissing, "stop fussing, I'm fine."

"Hold on," Leo turned up the A/C to the max, knowing it'd help and Bella let out a small relieved sigh. She opened her eyes, seeming to be coming back to her former self, then unscrewed the cap of the water bottle, taking a sip.

"Let's go?"

"You don't want us to wait a minute?" Luke frowned, stroking her cheek despite Bella's previous shoves, "just so your stomach settles?"

"It's plenty settled," she cleared her throat, taking a bigger gulp, "c'moooon, I'm not dying. Let's go, we're getting blondie a new car today."

And sure, she was all show and badass attitude, but Bella did look better. Her paleness was fading quickly and she no longer was gulping down nervously. Nevertheless, Leo kept an eye on her, just in case.

The mechanic wasn't far out, but the guy smelled like beer and immediately assumed Bella and Leo were together, since they were the first to enter. How the guy hadn't clocked him as gay was beyond Leo, but he bit his tongue and said nothing as the mildly homophobic man continued to chat up Bella as if she was the airhead wife who called the shots of their relationship with pouts and whines.

"It's a nice car, right ma'am?" the man opened the driver's door for Bella, adjusting the seat, "gonna impress all your friends, it's a head turner."

"I know, right?" Bella's voice was up a whole note to a chilling degree and Leo opened a huge smile at her cheerleader tone, "Leo, sweetheart, look at the automatic panel..."

"Its got a blindspot detector," the mechanic continued to prattle on, "it's keyless and-" he clicked on a button, opening the trunk, "a huge trunk for all sorts of groceries."

"A big trunk, Leo!" Bella squealed and Leo had to press his lips not to laugh, "he loves it, if you know what I mean," she winked and the man nodded in approval, letting his eyes go down Bell's body, completely missing the double meaning.

"Yes, ma'am, he's a lucky man," he said patting the leather seat, "the backseat is spacious, you wanna check it?"

"Absolutely," Bella jumped from the driver's seat so she could climb in the back.

Leo took the chance since they were both preoccupied, so he could look back to where Luke and Jon were waiting at the doors of the garage, both silently shaking with giggles. Jonah's face was an entire shade darker with a blush and he looked close to tears from the effort of holding back laughter.

"Can we take a look under the hood, Keith?" Bella asked and the man eagerly approved.

"Of course, darling, c'mere-" he opened the hood, then did nothing, gesturing around, "as you see, it's all in order-"

"Battery is not original," Bella's voice was now back to its own normal tone and the man seemed startled, "neither is the painting, the car used to be orange," she pointed a detail, "and-" she started unscrewing something that was totally beyond Leo's knowledge, then turned around and grabbed a metal rod from one of the mechanic benches, cleaning it and shoving it inside the compartment she had just unscrewed, "this oil is from the last century, he'll need to get this changed ASAP. You're gonna reduce the price of that, of course- Did you change out the radiator? Why?"

Keith looked like he had just seen a magic trick and his brain was trying and failing to figure it out. He spluttered a bit, so Bella planted her hands on her hips, "Keith?"

In the end, Leo got two thousand bucks off the price he had originally planned to pay, as well as a whole wheel, that they gracefully put in the really large trunk.

They drove out separately now, Leo and Bella in the new vehicle, and Jon, Luke and JD in Jonah's car, "I kinda miss having keys," Leo pouted, "I was gonna get a cute keychain."

"You can still get one for your house keys," Bella smiled, leaning in to squeeze his arm, "and for the emergency car keys."

"I guess," he couldn't stop smiling, "at least now you're not gonna be carsick on the drive back. I'm sorry, we should've thought Jonah's car was cramped as hell and taken Luke's-"

"I wasn't carsick," Bella shrugged, lowering her window and smiling as Jon zoomed past them, honking for good measure. It was probably Luke driving.

"No?"

"Nah, felt off since I woke up," her cheeks turned pink, hand sliding to her stomach in a fond manner... And Leo nearly drove his brand new (sorta) car straight into a lamp post.

"Bella?!"

"No," she shook her head, then paused, "I don't know, don't think so," Bella bit down her lip, seeming hesitant for the first time all day, all the brilliant confidence he had seen before vanishing in a puff, "don't tell anyone, not that there's anything to tell, just-"

"Does Luke-" his mouth was really dry now and his heart was hammering, as if Leo was the father of Bella's hypothetical baby. She shrugged, uncomfortable.

"Please don't say anything," she looked away, "like I said, it's probably not it."

"Ah," Leo's head was spinning now and he stopped at a red light, catching up with Luke and Jonah. The window lowered and Jonah poked his head out, sunglasses on and whistling.

"Hey handsome!" he yelled and Leo lowered his window, but he was really off his game now, "can I have your number!?"

He chuckled weakly, while Bella leaned over him, "fuck off, he's taken, Jonah!" she said brightly, squeezing Leo's arm so he'd get himself together, "suuuuch a lucky guy to land a beautiful woman like me, Keith said so!"

Jonah cackled, raising a middle finger and lowered his sunglasses, a lopsided smile on as he caught Leo's eyes, "race you home?" Luke made the BMW roar.

Bella scoffed, patting Leo's shoulder, "c'mon, blondie, get your shit together. Your car is cooler than Jon's prehistoric BMW!" she shouted the last line and Jonah continued to laugh.

"Can't hear you over the noise of you LOSING!"

Leo shook his head, catching Bella's eyes and then squeezed her hand in his, forcing up a smile and turning to her, "put your seatbelt on, Bell," then to Jonah, leaning out of his window as well, "eat dust, motherfucker."

All he heard was Jonah saying, "crush 'em," to Luke before the lights turned green.

[goldfades]

(I know we don’t want to BUT)

Manager seeing the sad edits of Nika & Aliyah on their new teams and literally commenting under them.

“I’m😭 happy😭😭for😭😭😭her.”

“This is fine. (I’m literally losing my mind)”

“BRING ME MY GIRLS BACK😭😭😭.”

“Now I know how spongebob feels when he went insane and started talking to that chip.”

“Delete this plz, my mental health can’t take it😇”

Manager would comment under this tiktok like

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRwK4T9e/

“Yeah, and tell her to come GET her twin cuz she pmo😒.”

Manager getting into fake ‘beef’ with the managers on their new team:

“Just a reminder, I had them first.”

They’re never beating the possessive allegations, especially since the manager never fails to call the team “her girls”.

-🐹

THIS MAKES ME SO SAD NOOOOOOOOO but absolutely, yes

shes so damn possessive but bbg can't help it!!!!!! they're her babies!!!!!!!!!!

and the editors will be like "oh my god we made it QUEEN COMMENTEDDDDDD"

[gaystan]

PRESENTING ME AND @11x13kyle's FIRESIDE CHATS WITH KYLE AND ERIC AKA NICHE INTERNET MICROCELEBRITY AU:

cartman and kyle host a podcast called fireside chats with kyle and eric that’s basically just red scare, cartman is dasha and kyle is anna

they're constantly beefing with each other on twitter and some people are convinced it's staged to promote the show but kyle just hates cartman That Much

a majority of their listeners are just there for the occasional mention of their batshit childhood experiences amongst all the terrible political takes

like "umm i don't wanna hear this insane opinion on al gore i want to know more about how you guys swear that he tried to get you to help him kill manbearpig when you were 8"

fans wonder if these events are true or if they're enabling each other's schizophrenia

cartman is always saying the worst reactionary things while kyle's takes are deceptively normal until he hits them with one that makes listeners go hey WHAT?

kyle resents being called a reactionary but cartman LOVES it, wears the label like a badge of pride

there is CONSTANT discourse about whether or not cartman's antisemitism is ironic or not, with the reasoning "why would kyle be friends with him if it was genuine," and kyle regularly takes to twitter to say "IT IS NOT IRONIC."

kyle peaks the mic multiple times an ep yelling at cartman, says they'll edit it out in post, never gets cut because neither of them can edit

reddit posts go up are after every episode giving timestamp warnings for when kyle gets super loud

cartman has a christian music era, gets tradcath allegations and does little to discourage them

there are people who rpf ship kyman. cartman knows about this and tweets at fans asking them to send him fic recs

secretly jacks off to them

has a bit where he gives a shout out to his favorite kyman fic of the week and kyle breaks the mic every single time screaming at him

he posts unbelievably cringy "ironic" thirst traps to his instagram story at night and "ironic" drag pictures but the outfits and makeup are too good to be a joke

he also posts pictures of butters in bed with like bites on his neck to brag about getting hot tail but it's also just as unsexy

this is how he accidentally comes out, he was so distracted by the need to flex that he forgot he's still trying to beat the gay allegations

the "ironic" kyman fic jokes stop being funny

butters is adam friedland and kenny is the girl he cheated with

the butters show is cohosted with dougie and part of the alt right pipeline

stan is kyle's offline boyfriend in a B list rock band and wears fireside merch on stage sometimes

this includes the isis shirts which he swears up and down he didn't know were isis shirts

deeply apolitical by choice so whenever kyle talks to him about podcast stuff he nods along like whatever you say honey

he still listens to it he just tunes out of the political talk

the day his fans find out he's gay is the biggest day for them since his 2021 single hit the hot 100

everyone analyzing his old lyrics like oh my god. this was about a MAN. it all makes sense.

kenny is a twitter microceleb and socialite, much like with cartman controversy is part of the brand

gained thousands of followers over the butters cheating discourse

thirst tweets about kyle and they're secretly unironic

comes on fireside and rates youtubers he's slept with, kyle is disgusted and cartman is delighted

chapo trap house is craig and those guys

[yippeeometer]

The Northeast states watching out for each other, but they're subtle about it. Like dropping off a cup of coffee, but if someone comments on it, they'll brush it off like it's no big deal

oh no its much worse.

the northeast but they're trying to be subtle and desperately failing bc they're all as dense and emotionally constipated as the other.

cut drops off coffee for york. york immediately assumes he's laced it with poison bc they are peak sibling core. they argue intensely, during which cut insists if he needed to kill york he would be MUCH more physical and he has not poisoned the coffee (he had laced it with sleeping pills bc 'the city that never sleeps' turns out not to be an exaggeration.

cut spends the next few hours complaining to new hammy about it. hammy's eye twitches the whole time as he recollects last week, when he did the exact same thing to cut and they had the exact same argument. ur honour they're not beating the 'exact same person in different shirts' allegations.

in fact, many of them can recite, word for word, the exact schpiel jersey goes through every time someone asks for ingredients from his garden. oh my god i hate you get a job why are you always mooching off me. what the fuck do you mean you'll go to a grocery you're taking things from my garden. ill bring them over myself. idiot.

there's just a silent agreement that there's no alcohol allowed at parties anymore bc after Pa's like 9th attempt at sobriety they all had a big think ab where the problems were stemming from and that was the best thing they could think up.

because i am a heavy believer in jewish ne supremacy there is a wonderful period between rosh hashannah and yom kippur when they're all putting in the best effort to be nice to each other which immediately dissolves the second they have to try and decide who gets to use the shofar. they may not be able to physically fight today, but trust the grudge will be remembered.

the level of PTSD and just general issues within that group must be so intense but because they are emotionally represed. they just. arent allowed to talk about it. someone could be having a full breakdown but u r a member of the northeast and you should just let ur heart break inside and never ever talk about it because it would be Awful and Wrong

however. what u can do. is watch sport together in silence. maybe you'll even say 'good game' at the end by be careful of that one because its basically a confession of ur endless fraternal support, wouldn't want to get too deep would we.

and ur only allowed to talk about ur problems through jokes. haha yeah i still see faces of war in my sleep. haha yeah i cant cope w the guilt anymore. hehe.

so to answer your ultimate question, the most pain you can experience is not even your own, but that of ur brother when he drowns and you are not allowed to save him. but anyway.

[tasteracha]

Oh my god I'm watching the Buzzfeed Stray Kids with kittens interview and Chan is still in dad mode even for the kittens. They're kittens so they're trying to run off set and explore and every so often you see Chan stand up and move a kitten back into frame. And he's all like: come here babies! Oi come over here!

And I can't help but to think of him as an actual dad one day when his child has entered the terrible twos and they're running around the house, and Chan is carefully following behind and they're both laughing and he's like: oi come here you!

I crave domesticity with Bangchan

he’s never beating the best dad allegations like genuinely he’s going to be such a good father i’m going to cry

[boba-beom]

sookai never beating the giant allegations... they're so big im clawing at the walls my size kink can't take this

p.s. i love ur theme too hehe new beomie post <33

p.s.s. why r txt dressed like pirates now. making me think about this old ask i got forever ago asking about me writing pirate!txt kidnapping princess!reader or something. brain rot.

lia oh my god— I can't be looking at them bc I wanna claw at their backs so bad, they're just so broad and big and giant and 😵‍💫 like hello??? just picturing their large frames literally covering you that no one can see you unless you have your arms over or under their shoulders 😩

p.s. hehe thank you, I missed beomie's ig post sm and thought I'd change it in honour of him posting again bc I know he was bummed out he hasn't posted for a while bc of his injury :<

p.s.s. pirate!txt kidnapping princess!reader omg, why am I blushing over here T^T like I'm seeing snarky yeonjun teasing princess!reader about whether or not he should let her go or keep her 😬 like him calling her a 'pretty little thing' aaaaaaa