#they're married but don't worry divorce is also there

[sczawr]

doodles of Amy and Neo Metal Sonic as Lady Nimue and Sir Pelleas from my and my gangs satbk au! Neo's design is also by @mmm-asbestos!

[mariyekos]

Imagining a scenario where at some point Dante and Lady get married purely for practical purposes (like if she gets hospitalized so Dante can visit/make some decisions) but Lady ends up dating Trish so Dante's like

[kalims]

ㅤhere is my husband

premise. just us casually staking a claim on our non-official husbands (for coupons)

featuring. all characters

content. alignment, fluff

ㅤthe flustered over thinkers

one who's unbearably confused because he doesn't recall a marriage taking place to wed the two of you at all, he's a little concerned though. he's sure he'd remember such an event? anything with the two of you is practically unforgettable to the fact that when he's in bed only thing he thinks about is you, and the lingering anticipation that he'll see you again in the morning.

besides this said... eventful morning. where you've both apparently upgraded in relationship without his knowledge he can say that he's struggling to hide his steaming ears, hoping you won't notice if he brings the cup of coffee to his face so the steam seems like it's from there.

confused? flustered? thanks for the input! here's your boyfriend husband. doesn't even ask you to explain even though he's twitching to ask you cause if he knows you then you're almost always up to no good, maybe this is one of your tricks but he won't try just for the thought that you're still 'married.' all marriage related things, even the color white is sending his mind into overwire :)

— | riddle, jack, deuce, azul, epel, silver

ㅤwe love flirts

ah yes, if we've got the flustered, confused husbands we also need to get our resident flirts who just gives you a side glance and plays along like he knows what game you're playing. absolutely no questions at all because you know he's gonna bring up the topic sooner or later with a tease, he just feels like he has to return the fluster you'd admittedly inflicted on him. (which is apparently by proclaiming you're both married now.)

don't be surprised if you're getting private messages online, or just random people coming up to you asking how you're married in... this golden age, was that even legal there? you're not sure but maybe because everyone was kind of casual about it.

doesn't matter whether you say you're just messing with him. oh, you're done? good for you but he isn't. he's calling you his spouse everywhere, a local restaurant, shop, stall. wherever you say, he claims he's just doing what you asked for the coupons but you've got an inkling he's just got a knack for calling you his lawfully wedded partner.

— | trey, cater, jade, rook, lilia, leona (partly), vil

ㅤlegally in denial

we have the awkward ones who partially accept their fates, the flirts who's living purpose is to get a rise of warmth in your face, and we have the legally in denial ones whom are trying so hard to deny everything you do. you guys are dating?! oh my god... you must be being threatened to do this, where's the culprit?! news flash, there isn't any but even when it's so clear they seem to find every single reason to convince themselves that there's something wrong.

like, please accept our love already. you already called them your husband in broad daylight, is that not enough of proof? what do you mean you're probably gonna divorce him... he doesn't mention the fact of you guys never marrying at all, just jumps in divorce...

sometimes you should punch a man for his self esteem, it must be a struggle trying to convince someone you like, that you indeed like them. crazy, right? he can't take this heart stopping gesture he's watched too many times but will gladly arrange a wedding in minecraft. just tell him you guys got married ever since he put his bed next to yours if he asks since when.

— | idia on his own

ㅤairheads who are simps

the classic group of guys, of which they all are just incredibly down bad for the lead who just so happens to be you! <4 in this case they're so in love that they wouldn't even question anything you say even if you mix up murder and a name in the same sentence! if you trip? oh no, no. it's clearly the fault of the ground, not to worry! he'll even get workers to reconstruct the entire thing.

and yes, he's either rich or has enough influence (if not through intimidation.) anyways, if they're mad because of a horrible day just walk in a room and then the dark cloud over their heads just floats away and is replaced by hearts in their eyes.

a prank? oh you're funny. what ever do you mean? you're both clearly married. he's got the papers right here *materializes one.* where did that even come from?! say it once, now you've planted something that won't go away in their heads and it's going to shift to reality one way or another :)

— | kalim, floyd, malleus, rook.

ㅤchill mister tsunderes

takes a deep breath* screeches* yeah that's pretty much it. the people (possibly pertaining to just one person, cause he almost always needs his own category.) who try to refuse your existing even if you just cough. keyword: try because even if you're dating them they're still struggling to wrap their head around the fact that they are dating you so maybe their coping mechanism is just refusing to admit you make their hearts go boom boom??

is completely torn whether to screech again (preferably not in his mind to release that pent up... feeling. some type of fluster that makes him wonder if he should have brought a pillow to yell into.) or just reject what you just said. somehow his mouth just doesn't cooperate and he has to look away from you because he's actually struggling to keep his sanity together.

giving himself pep talk, the fortitude that 'he doesn't like you', trying to rebuild that wall back up again but he learns that he apparently can't take it when you're both referred to a life bounded vow. not as in he despises is, though he believes he is. but rather because he'll probably combust on the spot by the sheer claim being said out loud.

— | main: sebek, leona, ace

ㅤdem smug bastards

the ones who just can't resist to crack a smirk when you casually introduce him as your husband, no wonder you insisted he wore the promise ring you had given him.. just to show him off? consider him impressed! this might be just one of his favorite memento of your shenanigans. either he already knows what you're up do (leona) or he's just enjoying the remnants of your embarrassed face as he plummets you with endless grins and teases (floyd)

he's your husband...? I mean true but you're mainly his spouse :) should you even regret having done anything in the first place for the coupons? don't ever. anything should be done for the discounts, even if your supposed husband starts parading everywhere and uses every opportunity that appears in random conversations or situations to just casually announce your lawfully wedded marriage.

what do you mean you're not married? I mean he's got all the evidence in his phone, you didn't think he'd pass up the opportunity to record you saying that phrase for nothing did you? it's a great moment to remember, especially when it's in the middle of the night and he can't help but pull up that recording just to listen to it on loop like an idiot.

— | leona, floyd, ruggie, jade?, lilia (perhaps, vil (also questionable)

ㅤwho are you talking to rn?

those who look embarrassed but you're betting most on your money that he's just awfully flustered + doesn't like the feeling just guessing from him avoiding your eyes like you're the entity from bird box. does he really think his hood can cover the entirety of his red ears? they're fooling absolutely no one with that fake cough, only thing you heard was the quiet choke when they processed your words.

tries to play it off by 'composing' themselves in front of you, even though their back is turned to you. the straightening of their shoulder usually implies that they think they're ready but you can't help but note that several parts of their body, if not all, collectively flinch at the sight of you. they dont say anything but they give you this... look.

like, narrowed eyes, their jaw is slightly turned away from you, *judges whole existence with a side eye* they can't believe they even have you as a partner but besides that they can't wrap their heads around the fact that such a stupid notion such as that actually had him doing cartwheels inside his head.

— | jamil deserves this, ruggie, jack, azul

ㅤwym didn't we already get married?

YOUR HONOR ITS THIS ONE. you're probably making him more confused than you are. because?? cue confused face. didn't you guys already get married like, a month ago? do you not see the ring on your finger? the matching one on his own finger? did you really not notice anything when he just casually takes you to the most ethereal, sacred place of briar valley and hands you the box containing the ring...? has he done it too subtly? well, he's underestimated humans once again...

to fae culture that was probably the most obvious thing ever. he didn't outright just decide he wanted to marry you, but you've probably done something that borders on a 'let's get married' proposal in his culture so that just prompted him to get to work ASAP, get his workers find the most grandest ring there is in his family heirloom.

if you take it. that just meant you're both FOR LIFERSSSSS. HENCE WHY HES SO CONFUSED WHEN YOU'RE CONFUSED THAT HES ACTING LIKE ITS NORMAL. I mean he's happy that you finally decided to call him his rightful title after a month but why are you so flabbergasted, child of man? what do you mean you're not married? just look at said sacred, ethereal place in briar valley. both your names are engraved there together, that's enough proof isn't it?

— | malleus

bonus <4

ㅤthe actual partner in crime

want to take it up a notch? just call the resident creator of forged documents, this is totally legal and free! just get on his good side and he will remain there forever, unchanging cause he loves you now. unless you somehow wrong him... it's actually very beneficial because he can do nearly anything for you without trouble so... wow you're married? why didn't you invite him :( oh you're not but you want to be? oh that's totally fine!

oh you want his help? he can't go against the law because of his coding system but.. it also says to help friends whenever he can and you're his best friend so :)) *casually prints out paper* don't worry he'll talk to some friends and it will be legal before you know it!

knowing his brother he's probably authorized to break the law so he had to code it himself before he gets too far... anyways congrats on your actual marriage 😊

— | ortho

note. this is a commissioned piece, do not post this anywhere else

[weebsinstash]

Since you guys have been digging poly yandere LuciLili do yall wanna hear one of my more fucked up ideas

I keep thinking about scenarios where Lilith is emotionally intelligent enough to kinda, get a read on who you are pretty quickly and, maybe you even help out by being a bit too honest about yourself, and she falls in love with you first and decides almost on his behalf that you would be perfect for Lucifer as well. Like I'm talking this man may know barely more about you than your name but Lilith sees certain similarities or contrasts between you that she's like, INSANELY POSITIVE you two would be perfect together, and she may be totally right, but the ethically dubious part is when Lucifer isssssss not quite as fast to warm up to you and Lilith tries to... expedite that process

I've thought of, the idea i mentioned before with you being pulled into a kind of dream dimension where you're bonding with them in a pseudo-Eden, that maybe Lilith "invites you" into their dream without telling or asking Lucifer first, and then it's in Eden where he falls in love with you, since, you're acting more like your actual true self since you think it's a dream with no consequences. In the waking world, you're nervous, barely making eye contact, maybe even a little scared of him, but in Eden, it's "do you two have nicknames for each other? Like do you ever call each other things like, maybe Lucifer is Lulu or Luci or Ducky and Lilith would be Lili or-- also when you two first met, Lucifer, were you ALSO completely naked or did you accidentally teach her what clothes were and made her self conscious? Since Lilith was naked when you met her, was it hard not to stare at her p--" like, you have so many interests and all this curiosity and they both think it's so cute and once you start talking, you speak in paragraphs not sentences and they just pofe watching you get excited and interested about things

but picture it gets to the point where here's Lucifer, "ok Lili OK I like her alright?! But it's- she's not really ready for a relationship let alone a BABY right now" and Lilith is just pouting and crossing her arms and BANISHES HIM TO THE COUCH. IM SERIOUS. Kicks him out of his own fucking bed and tells him he should be in yours instead. "Well just MAYBE she would be ready for a relationship if she had someone to show her she was safe and cared for LUCIFER >:( don't pretend you haven't been wanting another child LUCIFER >:( don't make me get her pregnant myself LUCIFER >:(" and also she very very well COULD do that so it IS a credible threat

Like Charlie is getting so fucking worried her parents are bickering all the time and she's worried they're gonna get divorced and it's just like, THEM ARGUING OVER GETTING YOU PREGNANT OR NOT. Lilith is over here privately having conversations with you where you're breaking down about dying before you could get a partner and get married and have a wedding and have a baby and she's running back to Lucifer, "cmon Lulu... don't you want to know what your baby would look like? She's just so SAD, Lulu, she wants her baby and her family SoooOoooo badly. You mean you don't want Charlie to have another sibling? You dont want a little baby to put in a little duckie onesie?"

I just. Picture. Lilith inviting you and Lucifer to drink with her and she just. Drugs you both, completely unapologetically slips you both aphrodisiacs. Gets you Hella Hella Drunk and, at some point later in the night, Lucifer thinks he's having sex with his wife, but uh, not wife number 1, that's for sure. He doesn't snap out of it until either the next morning or when he's already, you know, finishing, and you're just slurring and clinging to him like a teddy bear and honestly probably already pregnant

LATER ON DOWN THE LINE AFTER YOU'VE HAD YOUR BABY, you break down crying to Lucifer, "I want to tell you something but I'm worried you'll be mad but I- I don't want my baby to grow up with a lie and get hurt in the future, and, and you're a really good person and a good husband and a good dad and I hate lying to you" AND YOU REVEAL YOU WERE IN ON THE DRUGGING THING THE WHOLE TIME. LILITH APPROACHED YOU AND TALKED YOU INTO IT. But Lucifer still doesn't blame you because you're absolutely perfect in his eyes and, now you two have a beautiful little baby and you're both so so happy together, and here's Lucifer, "hey honey? I'm gonna go talk to Lili for a lil while, ok? Be back later ^^"

Skip to like a month later, here's Lucifer looking quite smug, "big news everyone! Lilith is pregnant! We've got another Morningstar on the way!" and here's Lilith ALSO looking quite smug cause, awwww that's so cute, he thinks he got back at her, but really, she got everything she wanted in the end. Lucifer just puffing out his chest because he's got a new baby and another on the way and Lilith just smirking coyly as she continues to knit little baby socks. If they'll go to your baby or hers or, maybe another future baby of yours, now, who can really say? Honestly the happiest Morningstar is Charlie because now she has her dad, her mom, and her other new mom, and now her new siblings too! And if anything bad ever happened to you or your baby the entirety of the Hotel will go to war for you with unspeakable unspeakable violence :)

[stonedcoldfoxtarot]

What will your family think about your FS?

Pile 1 -> Pile 2

Pile 3 -> Pile 4

Pile 1

Pile 1, your family will think your future spouse is a great addition to the family and that you guys are a perfect match💘 You might have similar backgrounds or share a bunch of common marriage and commitment goals, and your family will be excited that you found someone who gets you and also shares your values and interests. They'll see this person as super engaging and fun to chat with, so expect lots of lively convos at family dinners and gatherings right from the jump. For some, your spouse won't hold back on some playful teasing or friendly debates to keep things exciting and your family will find this absolutely adorable, especially your parents, as they'll think you and your spouse are a blast to have around.

Your family probably knows that you've been patiently waiting for the right person to come along, and when they meet your future spouse, they'll instantly know you've hit the jackpot🎯. They'll see how kind, generous, and fair this person is with you, and it'll make them fall head over heels for them. They might even become the family favorite😭 But don't worry, it's only because they love seeing how much this person loves you and will want to welcome them with open arms. Whoever they are, your family and close friends will give them their stamp of approval💯

Pile 2

Pile 2, your family might be super protective of you, so for many of you it might take them a bit of time to warm up to your future spouse. But once they get to know them like you do, their opinions will quickly change🥰 They'll also see how hard your partner works to give you a solid foundation and a happy, stable home life and they'll think they're not only a great partner but also an amazing provider. Most importantly, your family will notice how happy your spouse makes you, which is a big deal, especially for your parents. Some of you might be the youngest or the baby of the family👼, so your parents and siblings are still used to looking out for you and making sure you're happy, safe and protected.

Pile 2, your future spouse might also have a demanding job or a career that involves lots of travel or possible relocation, and I see that some of you may end up moving away soon after your wedding✈️. This might be hard on your family at first, but eventually they will come around and accept that you now have your own life. Either way, they'll be happy to know that you and your spouse are in this together for the long haul and they'll ultimately wish you the best on your new chapter, no matter where it takes you. Pile 2, your family will think your future spouse is a perfect match for you and a wonderful new addition to the family🏡

Pile 3

Pile 3, your future partner might have been previously married 💔and might even have children with their ex. If that's the case, your family will think highly of them for being an involved parent regardless of the circumstances surrounding the divorce. Your future spouse might also be self-employed and doing well for themselves, which your family will both admire and respect. They’ll see them as a leader with their priorities straight, who will prioritize caring for and providing for you unconditionally. I feel that some of you might come from a wealthy background or have parents who view marriage as more of a business decision than a purely emotional one, so they'll want you to be with someone who can maintain or even upgrade your current lifestyle💅, which is what they feel your spouse will do.

Pile 3, your family will also see your future spouse as someone who is gentle, mature, calm, and nurturing towards you. They’ll see that this person has learned a lot from their past mistakes and will feel they are determined to do things differently with you. Your family will also recognize your spouse’s passion for you and your relationship and how much they inspire you to chase after your dreams📈. They’ll see that your partner is a positive influence on you and will be happy to see both of you working hard to make your marriage successful and abundant💰💸. Pile 3, your family will wholeheartedly approve of your future spouse!

Pile 4

Pile 4, you might end up marrying someone you've known since you were kids or someone you briefly dated or hooked up with in the past. And shortly after you reconnect, you both might decide to run away and get married💍, which might initially worry some people in your family.  They could think that things are moving too fast or that your relationship is solely based on passion, physical intimacy and an intense infatuation❤️‍🔥 However, as they get to know your spouse they will come to understand why you chose to marry them on such a whim.

Pile 4, your family will also see your spouse as someone who is outgoing, friendly, passionate, creative, and a bit mischievous in a good way😈. And for some, your spouse's carefree attitude will inspire them to embrace the fun side of life whenever he or she is around. Many will consider your spouse a breath of fresh air, but they will also see them as someone who is grounded and fully committed to making your relationship work which will win over anyone who may still be on the fence. Pile 4, it's possible that your future spouse may have a child from a previous relationship, or you might announce a pregnancy soon after getting married which will bring happiness and celebration to everyone involved🎉 Overall, your family will be thrilled that you've found the right person for you, no matter how it all came together.

Thanks for reading 🔮✨

© 2023 stonedcoldfoxtarot. All rights reserved. Please do not copy, translate, edit or redistribute.

[i-cant-sing]

Okay but like I can't get over how mad Gojo looked when he held Riko's dead body (also can't stop sobbing over Toji dying).

Can you imagine if instead of Riko it was his own little sister/daughter??????

I mean my man here was going insane ar Riko's death, he would've definitely pulled an oppenheimer if it reader was actually related to him.

Like what if reader was his daughter, someone Gojo had coddled and loved and practically kept in a bubble, and she turned out to be the next star plasma vessel? And instead of dying, she ALMOST dies, be it at the hands of Toji or by his higher ups??? I mean, Gojo is just holding your bloody, injured body, your breathing very shallow, and he's trying so hard not to obliterate the entire world because you were this 🤏 close to dying. But rn you're his no.1 priority so he gets you to Shoko who heals you, and then he can focus on committing mass murder.

Or what if reader is actually his sister, who was forced to marry Toji by both the clans, and he was too young to understand the gravity of the situation, but when he grows up, he sees you're not happy with Toji and tells you to divorce Toji if you want to and not to worry what the clans will say because he will handle everything else. And you're so happy, because at least you'll have Gojo to support you and take care of you for a while, but when it's time for you to actually leave Toji (who by now isn't a scummy husband anymore and has become a romantic yandere for you), Gojo can't find you?? I mean, he goes to ask Toji about you, but he only shrugs and says he doesn't know except that you packed your stuff and left. But Gojo eventually finds out, after months, that Toji has actually kidnapped you and taken you to a safehouse, all while the Zenin clan is supporting him (only cause Toji does your dirty work and they're lowkey platonic yandere for you too. Besides, if they don't let you escape, Toji won't leave the clan either).

And then finally, Gojo finds you and he's absolutely LIVID to see you pregnant and shackled to the fucking ground in Toji's room (who btw is away on a clan's mission) and he catches Naoya hurling derogatory terms at you (cause he can't physically harm you. Toji would've killed him) and Gojo just- purple hollows Naoya out of existence. When Gojo gets close to you, you cower and flinch and Gojo can barely recognise you anymore because they've completely broken you down. You're crying and crying until you pass out in his arms and Gojo just collects you and leaves the estate, blood and bodies of the clan behind him, his only concern how he's going to heal you and never let you leave his sight, and how he will kill Toji Fushiguro.

For now, you can sleep against his chest while he takes care of everything.

He hopes you won't resist him when he kills the fetus in your belly.

[lavenderprose]

No but really, Gentlebeard meet-cute and sweet silly first date nonsense and then, cliche of cliches, Stede finds out through some series of events that Ed is MARRIED not widowed not divorced full on MARRIED and he's like. Explain?? Explain now??

And Ed's just, "Oh yeah I have a husband. We're separated though. Like really though we're separated."

And Stede just kind of has to take that at face value because Ed doesn't wear a wedding ring and doesn't SEEM like he's particularly bothered and Stede's just like. Well okay. I am also in a complicated divorce-type situation with my ex-spouse. These things happen. We're in our forties. In the grand scheme of things it's not that bad, it's not like he LIVES with--

Oh he does. He very much does live with his husband. His very much Not Ex-Husband. Izzy Hands-Teach is five foot seven inches of pure romantic frustration and still wears his wedding ring on his neck.

He and Ed debrief afterwards and Ed is like. "Yeah that's Izzy. Sorry he was so uptight, he's just...like that. Anyway, probably good for you two to get along, right? Like I get along with Mary. That's good for a relationship."

Stede's like. Okay. Bullet points:

1. The fondness?? The absolute AFFECTION with which Ed speaks about this man? Is the separation in the room with us?

2. Ed has met Mary ONCE and they were normal about it because they're adults. Stede is pretty sure Izzy GROWLED at him about forty minutes ago?

3. And this is the big one. Ed. Ed darling. You are NOT separated from that man. You are in love with that man and that man is in love with you.

Ed, fully having an existential crisis: Oh shit.

Stede "Talk It Through" Bonnet: Don't worry. We'll win him back!

TL;DR Stede slangs that thang until Ed and Izzy vow renewal.

[auroreliis]

There's a video on YouTube two teenagers decided to play wedding but without accidentally wanting to officially get married there's even a document in everything, so my question is how would batfamily react if they found out that the reader is married? who got married by accident

YOU'RE MARRIED?!??!?!?!

Yeah, they're shocked...

It's okay, don't worry! Everybody makes mistakes! However, nobody can ever prove that you were ever married if you burn the marriage certificate...

At least, that's what Jason, Tim and Damian say.

Bruce, Dick, Stephanie and Cassandra think you should get an official divorce. Naturally, there are some issues with this idea...

First of all, in order to get divorced, you need to face your partner and the family isn't too fond of that idea...whatever, just until you get a divorce.

In addition to having to face your partner, you also have to actually agree to the divorce...and if you don't? Then the only thing they can do is burn the certificate...

Yeah, maybe Jason, Tim and Damian had a point...

[jennrypan]

Let's go down the line of fuckassary: LONG ASS POST AHEAD.

1: Gaia looked and acted like everyone else. She should've been WAY angrier, she should be pissed at Persephone for bringing about winter first of all. Should be pissed that she was a sleep and NOTHING got better over the centuries. But sure, she's giggling and happy.

(I liked that she shoved her hand in Ouranos' chest tho.)

2: It's soo funny that people keep SAYING that Persephone and Hades have true love but the comic hasn't showed us that ever 🤨, like if anything those two losers are obsessed with each other. Be so fr.

3: Once again..this should be Persephones story/POV but its in Hades' always. Fascinating.

4: "You have to spend 3 months away from your sugar daddy" OH NOOOO BUT WEVE BEEN APART FOR SO LONGB 🥺. God. At this point does she even NEED to be in the Mortal Realm fr?? Like..Demeter, Metis and Rhea are back now so..what's her purpose there.

5: The way Gaia just isn't. Gaia is baffling. Anyways. Demeter FINALLY found out what happened to Persephone but she's not..having a moment with her daughter?? Not talking to her about it?? Okay.

6: As usual. They're eager to have sex cuz that's the only thing they do. "I can't wait to see that ass--" ..how very Zeus and Posedion of you quote on quote romantic 🤨

7: She gets her coronation but..didn't she already have that when she married Hades?? Ig not then. Also..Apollo just got a slap on the wrist, not surprising.

DEMETER GOT PUNISHED MORE THAN HIM??? Hell the Titans got punished more than that bitch what the fuck??? God.

8: The disrespect to Zeus is so. 😶 Zeus would literally not sit back quietly for this shit the fuck??? Also..Hera didn't divorce Zeus all those years and now she did ?? And she's what..gonna get with Echo now??? Fascinating. Zeus needs to start tossing rocks. Rachel did Zeus and Heras relationship so fucking DIRTY!!!! GOD!! FUCKING DAMMIT. I hate how she wrote them. Anyways.

9: The Mortal Realm is a lot easier cuz Hades is there?? YOU WERE BORN THERE!!! ITS YOUR HOME!! You ungrateful ass spawn. It wasn't that fun cuz you didn't have a man there?? Insane.

10: The way Persephone clearly doesn't love her own mother is sickening actually. Like..we can't even have them talking to each other?? Dancing?? Even the comment about her doesn't have that much emotion. Also..Dionysus' hair looks goofy, and I guess Hades is all for bringing back mortals now despite making a big stink about it in season 1 but whatever. Yay Semele.

11: "hera just gives him busy work" ..He's literally the king. Literally-- oh my god. "His powers having been the same" which..MEANS WHAT?? And the way Zeus would literally not be happy about this shit is so-- UGH. God it's infuriating. Hades and Posedion clearly don't give a shit about their brother if they aren't concerned about his fucking powers 'not being same'??? Die.

12: Echo needs to stand SEVERAL feet away from Hera. That ship is so god damn tasteless and unnecessary. If you're gonna give hera a new love interest. Maybe give them actual moments?? Make it make sense!!

13: "Ares is still a dog!" *cue laugh track sound*, god this is so..why ?? Ares, baby I'm so sorry people keep disrespecting you in every iteration 🤦‍♀️

14: ignoring the Artemis bit cuz she wasn't relevant for any of the major plots and she still isn't. Anyways. Hades stay the FUCK away from Thanatos. "They can have conversations" oh?? How fascinating. Hades just NOW deciding to care about Thanatos doesn't make up for years of his neglect.

15: Persephone, Ares and Aphrodite should beat Eros' ass for being useless about Apollo. I still think that. Eros is an ass of a friend.

16: 'new powers' ..Girl your powers are basically your old powers with one extra step. Shut UP!!! anyways. (No one cares about kassandra, sorry not sorry. Who was worried about that )

17: Hades and Persephones millionth drabble of nonsense fluff. They're not saying anything new, nor are they doing anything new. I do like the art tho. It's just..baffling how..they're relationship started soo much nonsense and we're suppose to see it as a good thing??

THIS is a good ending??

Nevermind the fact Persephone didn't spend time with her friends or her MOTHER, nevermind the fact Zeus and Posedion don't even get to speak to their mother either.

Hera, Hestia and Demeter don't have a moment with Metis either.

Like..what was the point of bringing them back if you weren't gonna bring it to a satisfying conclusion?? Absolutely insane

Also..Eileithyias design is ass. It's sooo boring. It's literally just pilot Hebe but darker. Oh wow she's yellow with purple eyes??? Insidious. Also she just looks boring and bland to be the daughter of the literal king and queen but sure. Give us nothing.

And..again with making the children boring copies of one specific parent! Macaria is so..boring to look at just like Melinoe. Also...hades can..have kids now?? 🤨 okay.

So basically..this was insane from start to finish.

This wasn't a good conclusion. It was absolutely a wreck.

[yeah-alright-brill]

I know it's naive of me to say, because there's probably a load of reasons why they don't want to/ can't do it- but at this point, I wish they'd just release what they have of the Lazarus scripts. It's obviously never gonna get made as a TV show. They mentioned a novel/graphic novel/audio drama series instead, but it's been several years now and I think if those were in the works we would have heard about it. While I personally disagree with a sequel on principle, and mostly dislike the details that were revealed to the public, I'm still fascinated by what was planned. In particular, while we have an idea what Sam, Gene and Annie would act and do in the story, we know next to nothing about Ray, Chris and Shaz- only that Dean, Marshall and Monserat were conformed to be in it, and that their story would probably take place in the late 90s. I'm fascinated by what their story would have been- like reading a non-canon AU fanfiction but written by middle-aged men instead. Ok, you've got me, I'm particularly fascinated by what the Chrishaz situation would have been. Part of me worries they fucked them over because Lazarus seems like a deeply cynical show- but also, they had Sam and Annie divorce, and Alex literally run Gene over with a car, so I'd like to think they'd keep at least one couple stable and healthy. If it were me, I'd play with the fact they're in the real world now (seemingly) so I'd make them happily married with kids. The angst would come from them realising they're not supposed to be there, and being forced back to the Pub- which would be very sad, but what can you do? (Well actually I just wouldn't make a sequel, but if I had to that's what I'd suggest)

[lassieposting]

So like, Poppy Playtime is one of those things that I enjoy watching whenever a new section drops, but don't usually get particularly invested in, but if there's one thing guaranteed to give me brainrot, it's a codependent friendship between a deeply damaged, morally questionable killer and a lonely, mixed-up kid who idolises him. So naturally Chapter 3 has me in my feelings about the Prototype and Theodore Grambell.

And that got me thinking in general, which gave me a theory.

The Prototype - or, at least, whoever became the Prototype - had a military background.

If you think about it, the Prototype's skillset - while horrifying in an escaped monster on the rampage - would be an asset in a soldier, and more than once we see him use abilities that would probably be best explained by military training.

We know he's tech-savvy, mechanically skilled and good at improvising under pressure and time limits: he strips down an alarm clock in his cell - which he'd have to do quickly, because he's under constant surveillance - and makes a laser pointer from its parts to disable the cameras. These seem like skills that would benefit a soldier, who would be familiar with stripping his equipment - his gun, for example - down to parts to clean and reassemble them, and who might need to know how to fix a vehicle or a radio or use improvised parts in an escape from hostile territory.

Based on the fact that he's appeared unexpectedly multiple times now to claim the bodies of dead and dying mascots at exactly the right time, it's likely that he's been tracking the Player - silently and without being seen - since they entered the facility. He's doing recon, watching to see what the Player does, what their goals are, whether he needs to worry about them, and whether or how he can use them to his own benefit.

He can stay silent under torture. The tapes confirm that Sawyer continued experimenting on him even post-transformation, and the Prototype's description of these sessions makes it clear that there is nothing ethical or humane about them: "You stick us...beat us...tear at flesh." But Sawyer himself confirms that - other than snarking at him on that one tape we see - the Prototype has been silent, stubborn and uncooperative throughout. Soldiers can undergo Resistance to Interrogation training to teach them to cope with torture tactics; the only thing they're allowed to reveal is their name, rank and ID number. If the Prototype has already had this kind of training, it would make a lot more sense why he's able to keep silent when most people, adult or no, would be desperately cooperating and begging for mercy.

He's fiercely intelligent, excels at manipulating situations to his advantage, and is shown in Project Playtime to be capable of marshalling and directing the other fight-capable mascots. He's also a creative, ruthless tactician who seems to favour surprise attacks - the Hour of Joy works because it takes the entire facility unawares. The escape attempt where he hides from the camera relies on the security specialists panicking at his having vanished in a matter of seconds and rushing to do damage control, forgetting the camera has a blind spot. This thing is a strategist, and he's good at it.

Now, from what I've seen, it seems to be a popular theory that the Prototype was created from Elliot Ludwig. I'm not sure whether I really buy into that, but if it were true, it would actually work well with this little theory of mine.

We know that Ludwig was a young adult - probably in his 20s and 30s - in the 1930s and 1940s. He's old enough to have gotten married and to get divorced, and to have started his own company.

And where were all the 20- and 30-something men of America during the 1930s and 40s?

Conscripted. Fighting World War II.

So if he was created from Ludwig, or from any adult in Ludwig's age bracket, it is very likely that this is not the Prototype's first ugly war. Playtime Co are not the first monsters he's ever seen doing horrific human experimentation on captives and trying to cover it up. He'd have seen it all before, and he'd know there would be no stopping any of it without collateral damage. So when he gets his opportunity - the Hour of Joy - he's ruthless about it. He wipes out every human in the Playtime factory. If he fought in one of the major wars of the 20th century - WWII, Vietnam, etc, depending on the age of whoever was used - that would also explain why he goes to that extreme. Plenty of guilty, awful people escaped justice after those major conflicts, and he doesn't want that for the Playtime scientists. He'd rather massacre every employee, whether or not they knew about the experiments, than risk one who deserves death getting away.

idk I just think that whole idea makes his behaviour and motivations make a lot more sense

[herejusttosufferalong]

To the Anon who thinks R+S breaking means will L+A break up:

First, we don't have evidence - yet - that R+S have broken up are are about to break up. It is unusual for them to be so quiet on Stories in the summer, but it's also unusual for them to be trolled by a militant fan and have so many mean posts made and spread about them. They must be very upset and worried about their names/brands. I can see how they might be in damage control mode on SM, and silence is an age-old strategy for dealing with this kind of shitstorm.

Second, there is some reason to think that one break-up could lead to another. S and A are versions 2.0 (or 3.0) of girls these guys have had in their lives until they don't. The larger group of guy friends are unchanging:

1. The boys get GFs and that cohort of GFs all become the best of friends. Yay! Happy times together!

2. Occasionally one of the couples gets married! Yay!

3. Inevitably, several of the the remaining couples break up (or divorce) - Boo! - and then the cycle repeats again. Yay!

(You think Jade and Rory's ex aren't still friends? Of course they are, dude. And they're all still friends with J's ex. And the new wives [still a part of the group] are all in the super awkward-but-relatable position of trying to be nice to the new GFs while being true to their actual friends. Sometimes I wonder if they're just waiting A out like we are?)

So, yes, last time, Rory and Jack's relationships ending did proceed Luke's relationship ending, but I'm not sure that means that, if R+S break up, L+A will follow.

Maybe let’s just hope the best for R+S during this difficult time? ;)

.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

twilight for the uninitiated

HEYLO BABYGIRLS, BITCHBOYS, AND BOYCOTTERS OF THE BINARY! It's your favourite (and I should hope only) Good Omens Mascot and Maggot Prince here. Yesterday (earlier today? idk I sleep in naps) way over on the maggots server some of y'all were insulting Twilight. Which I am 100% supportive of, but for Bildaddy's sake, you need to insult it CORRECTLY.

But should you have to hate-watch or hate-read it? Nah, you've got me. In middle school I got late to school because I was reading the books in the bathroom instead of getting ready. I'VE GOT YOU! Gonna mix up the book and movie for optimum enjoyment.

Dramatis Personae: Edward Cullen, aka Sparkles the Vampire. Bella Swan, aka Bella Sue. Jacob Black, aka Wolfy Eggfucker. Charlie Swan, aka Gunboy ACAB. And Dr Carlisle Cullen, aka Zaddy. @orpiknight taught me that word.

ALRIGHT! So Bella Sue's mum and dad are divorced and she lives with her mum. But her mum's like lmao fuck you when she gets a touring boyfriend and tosses Bella Sue to Forks, where it rains a lot, and where her dad Gunboy lives.

So Bella Sue grabs a cactus because that represents Arizona and hauls ass, and Gunboy makes awkward comments about her hair. Bonding! But then he gets her a pickup truck, which is wild-o.

First day of school and Bella Sue is very popular because Small Town and the boys are very tingly in the ballsacks if you catch my drift. Anna Kendrick asks her why she's white (YOU CAN'T JUST ASK PEOPLE WHY THEY'RE WHITE, KAREN!) and then promptly forgets she was in the movie.

INTRODUCING THE VAMPIRES! This is a vampire story, by the way. There's Himbo, Blonde Murderer, and they're dating/married. There's Bi Awakening and some constipated looking dude from the Confederate army, and they're dating/married (don't worry about it). There's Sparkles, of course, and they all walk into the cafeteria being Hot apparently. Sparkles stares at Bella Sue. This is to be a common theme.

Sparkles thinks Bella Sue stinks. No, like, literally, she stinks coz he wants to eat her and food smells etc. Bella Sue also has magic powers and Sparkles can't read her mind. He's like >:(=. Those are his fangs, btw. But then he goes away with his family to hunt animals and drink blood and comes back like :)=.

Bella Sue almost gets hit by a car but then Sparkles jumps in and pushes it away. He then gaslight gatekeeps girlbosses her, and googles adrenaline rush to explain it to her. AND GUESS WHO HEALS HER? IT'S SPARKLES'S DAD, AND MY ZADDY. He walks into the ER all blonde and gentle and competent. Oh and he's a vampire too and so is his wife but like his magic power is compassion and also he's learned to regulate himself around blood. And he's pretty. Zaddy.

He's so fucking pretty but then we have to go back to the Plot and some humans are being killed or whatever and Gunboy is takin' charge yo. Sparkles keep chasing after Bella Sue to tell her to stay away from him and finding her randomly to remind her to ABSOLUTELY STAY AWAY and then he stalks her in the night and has dinner with her after saving her from a gang to tell her to ABSOLUTELY STAY AWAY. Also, he's like 110 years old. Whatever.

Oh and Sparkles breaks into her room to watch her sleep at night. It's super duper romantic. (No, trust me, once you see Wolfy in the later books, this will be super duper romantic). Then he takes her to abandoned clearings in woods to threaten to kill her and he tells her to SAY WHAT HE IS and she's like MOSQUITE LEECH VAMPIRE.

AND THEN HE SPARKLES! A LOT! And they go to the Cullens house and play baseball and Zaddy is looking absolutely lovely and welcomes them and even stands off some random vampires that show up. But one of them likey-likey's Bella Sue's blood.

Bella Sue is like lmao fuck you you're not a good dad to Gunboy to keep him safe or whatever and runs away with the Cullens to keep herself safe or whatever. Idk man Zaddy is just very pretty throughout.

And then there's a ballet place and Bella Sue goes there to get murdered coz she doesn't want to be a burden to the Cullens (homegirl never been so real). The Cullens get there and kill the vampire but then she's vampiring so Sparkles sucks the venom out and Zaddy heals her. Looking pretty. Blonde hair, golden eyes, etc.

And then Gunboy and Bella Sue's mum show up and she goes home and she's like SPARKLES TURN ME INTO A VAMPIRE TOO and he's like yo wtf no you'll be a monster (I think he's just pissed he sucked that venom out for nothing) and she's like SPARKLES PLEASE UWU and he's like UGH WE'LL SEE and they dance at prom but anyway there it ends. It should have ended with a shot of Zaddy but anyway.

*influence voice* Like and subscribe Like and reblog for a part II coz there are three more books/four more movies. Gotta get that education. Now I have the urge to make a youtube video. Garn. ANYWAY LOVE YOU ALL BYE MAGGOTS.

[mermaidsirennikita]

what are your thoughts on the genderswap with michael's character? i feel like that's another thing that the book readers and the non-book readers are going to fight about. (you can publish this if you want, and i understand if you'd rather not talk about the show!)

My main thought is: support the genderbend, do not support the introduction of Michaela this early (because I think it really invalidates Fran's love story with John, which the show could've explored really well). I would've held the trigger on introducing the eventual love interest whether they were Michael or Michaela.

To me, it seems like another opportunity for a poorly done love triangle. And what I think makes WHWW really solid as a book is that it isn't that.

I also personally don't love the idea of John AND Michaela really existing in relation to Fran finding herself. Maybe it won't be that! But based on Brownell's discussion of Francesca like, realizing there's something missing in her marriage, based on that scene (which I did watch) of her looking disappointed by her kiss with John, based on the line Violet had about forgetting her own name when she met Edmund and Fran then forgetting her own name with Michaela...

I don't know what they're trying to say about Fran's sexuality, it's early. It just FEELS to me that the "missing" line could relate to her not loving John sexually (or presumably romantically, as I don't think this show is going into romantic vs sexual attraction). But I could be wrong! And perhaps Fran's sexuality has nothing to do with her not loving John, though I'm not sure how they would find the time to map out "I am attracted to both men and women and I just don't love my husband even though it seemed like I did for most of the season". I suspect that they're going down the comphet -> married John -> realizations occur route. But again, I could be wrong.

And in the hands of good writers? I think that could be a really authentic story. The idea of this being realized, however, through a love triangle (and I don't know how they avoid that, introducing Michaela as early as they have... she's not going to just sit there and not have Fran be attracted to her, based off their first meeting) is really messy to me. I don't mean in the sense that we can't tell messy queer love stories; we can and should. I mean that we can't divorce John as a CHARACTER from the story. I don't love the idea of him existing as an obstacle, versus as someone who has his own love story.

That latter part? Is where it starts to feel like... John as a character who exists to prop up a white woman's journey. Much like it felt Simon did for Daphne, at points, in s1. And if John feels that way, I worry for Michaela, too.

Ultimately, I feel like I would've had this kind of conflicted feeling regardless of who was genderbent, though, because I just don't really feel like this show has the writing it needs for this. Which doesn't mean I think the show shouldn't do it; it means I think the show as a whole is like... the core issue.

And I guess it's like "but they wanted to make sure they got queer rep added in so they introduced Michaela now versus later". Sure, but you didn't have to introduce Michaela now in order to have queer rep in the show. You could tell Fran and John's story pre-Michael/Michaela organically AND feature... one of the other siblings also being queer.... Cressida being queer... Both....... There was a way to tell this story and OTHER queer love stories with more nuance. To be fair, though, I don't really think the show has approached any storyline with nuance. This is the "one of THEM fell in love with one of US" show. This is the show that featured homophobia in-universe from the jump for absolutely no reason.

What I'd personally rather see than the show itself, of course, is adaptations stories that involved people of color and queer people falling in love canonically from the start, but hey.

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

what if January 17th diner divorce scene between ford and fiddleford went the way s2e6 of gomens went. what then

so i tried writing the whole drabble but it turns out im farrrr too rusty for it right now. so, here's some of the before and my thoughts on how the Monologue would go:

we're looking in from the window of greasy's diner. ford awaits fiddleford's arrival, writing down his latests jounal entry with fervor. there is a light rain pattering the glass, and the sky is a dark gray. we slowly pan inside as the bell above the door rings, signalling fiddleford's arrival. he looks like a mess--eyebags, messy hair, mising tie, all the shebang.

we follow him until he sits down, and he fidgets with his sleeves as ford puts down his prn and grins brightly. before he can speak, however, fiddleford says...

"look, i, uh... got somethin' t' say. i know we outta talk about it, an' it's prob'y best if i start of doin' all the talkin', 'cause if i don't start talkin' now, i won't ever start talkin'. so--"

"hold that thought!" ford is smiling so big that almost nothing could ruin this for him. "there's no need to be so worried, fiddleford. we did it! tomorrow, our dreams and coming true. i hope you know that."

fiddleford just looks even more miserable. "right."

---

"We've known each other a long time" - self explanitory"

I could always rely on you. You could always rely on me" - also self explanitory

"We're a team, a group. Group of the two of us" - they always saw themselves as the outsiders. the hillbilly and the freak, matchmade in heaven, and they are Allergic to words. this seems like something ford would say but as you can see, i see fiddleford as crowley in this scenario, for OBVIOUS REASON <3

"And we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't" - pretending that wasnt our reality. pretending to go along as normal, falling behind, putting up walls, getting married--drifting apart.

"I mean, the last few years, not really. And I would like to spend... [looks away]" - THIS CANT END. FIDDLEFORD CHOSE TO COME UP HERE, TO STOP PRETENDING. but they cant keep going. he would like to spend....

"Just the two of us. We don't need Heaven, we don't need Hell, they're toxic. We need to get away from them, just be an us" - we dont need the world!!! we dont need the rewards!!! publish this goddamn thesis and LET THE PORTAL GO!!!!! UGHHHHHHH IM SO UNWELL

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog - Dofus, livre 1 : Julith [PART 10]

These sweets are so appetizing...

Due to the way this stall looks, I am assuming that these are types of candy that ouginaks and ecaflips love, and not literal animal food. Tragic.

Things Joris wants forgiveness for: leaving a bestie with cops (after she asked him to leave), disobeying his father after he folded on their plans for 99th time, telling his father that he's CRINGE and FAIL using his real cringe fail moments, and running away while having a mental breakdown.

Danmn he's so evil and bad for this fr fr......

Anyway, I think Joris's love language is gift giving and acts of service, and Kerubim's is words of affirmation and gift giving.

(This is wild ass headcanon territory because Atcham is a rarer character, but: Atcham's are acts of service and quality time. Source? It came to me in a vision.)

The street signs in this movie are killing me.

The Dofus Pets 2 ad says Dofus Pets 2.

Cute ad! It looks familiar though...

There ain't no way that these two pieces of art don't use some of the same reused assets...., I refuse to believe in that reality.

Joris is dissociating and Khan is trying to get his dick wet. Their friendship is so special.

By the way, the fact that they cut the "Khan makes/lets Joris do underage drinking, with many horny Khan-loving women present" scene still haunts me. Why? Why must have they forsaken me this way...

I still believe Khan bought Joris alcohol on regular until the guy was finally 18. I want to live in a world where Khan helped suicidally depressed 14yo Joris have a "coffee with cognac in the morning, chicken with cognac in the evening" lifestyle, and it's like one of the reasons Joris is still alive or something.

My other thought on the topic is that Atcham (imagine him being physically 4yo in this scenario), taught Joris how to smoke cigars. And then he had the shit beaten out of him by Kerubim (also 4 years old).

This is like his 60th divorce.

And he's never even been married.

Man.

The reaction to the door opening is IMMEDIATE.

THE PLATONIC DIVORCE #61 HAS BEEN CALLED OFF. But genuinely, it's so cute seeing how happy he is...

Joris thinking these things about him is his worst nightmare. AND the little guy is in danger. So, chances are, for a few hours he spent time thinking about how bad of a father he is, and how it's his fault that Joris is god-knows-where and in danger and also HATES him and will NEVER forgive him.

AND the disciplinary action he takes is just so chill and cute... (cough-cough, my own thoughts on whether Joris was based for this aren't relevant, because 1. he ran off god knows where and children shouldn't do that, and 2. even though his grievances are valid, he did bring them up as hurtfully as possibly, with some really fucked and irrelevant things too, just to make Keke feel pain at that moment. Which is not something one should get in the habit of.)

Your agonized twitching and worried faces have both bewitched me heart and soul.

He's literally still infant/toddler sized... So small, compared to Lilotte...

Sometimes, we say horrible things, when we're angry. They love each other so much... They're both willing to look past all the imperfections.... (throws up on the carpet like a cat)

No commentary, I just like seeing him afraid.

She and Kerubim have beef, as has been mentioned in many past posts.

Bakara does her fighting with the same icy, emotionless expression, that she had during her conversation with Kerubim at the bar. This is her "I am going to kill everyone in this building" resting face for when Julith is mentioned.

Kerubim is SHOCKED by how fast she leaped into combat. Also, I want to think, disappointed. This is too dangerous of an enemy to spring into action like that, simply out of rage, while having literally no combat experience...

Because like, Kerubim and Julith are veterans of a war/multuiple wars.

While Bakara is a 20~yo, freshly graduated, alcoholic nepo-baby.

Let it be known I don't like Julith. She is a fun character to watch, but... I feel like the fandom treats her as someone who's done no wrong, despite all the evidence we are given to believe that she is a horrible person.

She was framed, and she did love Jahash, but that doesn't take away from anything else. She beat the shit out of Bakara here, even though she could have restrained her much more gently, — she dug into Bakara's insecurities and called her a poor little fool too.

I really doubt Jahash would have liked that. (Same for her plans of killing a thousand people though, so, I really doubt she gives a shit about his wishes at this point.)

She does THIS SHIT. Jesus christ! Maybe, just maybe, she would know of your feelings, because she loves him just as much? Maybe that's why she wants to kill you as much as you want to kill everyone in Bonta? Have you thought about that, you hot topic customer-looking edgelord?

Besides her hypocrisy, she was known for her ruthlessness, even before the war. There's a reason they still call her a butcher. Which is why I kinda dislike how often this stuff is swept under the rug by fans making cute content.

...I do support women's rights, but I also support women's wrongs, and Julith has a lot of those. She's tragic, but also evil.

Unlike someone like Nox, she makes no effort to empathize or connect with people who oppose her, and knows no mercy. At the very least, Nox had a twisted sense of morals, and could whip out an epic "you're just like me fr...." during a battle.