#they're just problems bc he's a fucking idiot

[queenie-ofthe-void]

I've seen a few secret admirer Steddies going around where Steve's the one giving the notes (which I LOVE! I feel like those aren't as common)

But I headcanon Steve as having the worst handwriting. Therefore, I present platonic partners in crime CheerKing (is that right? Idk)

~~~

Under no conditions would Steve ask Carol to write the notes. But he's always liked Chrissy, and she seems trustworthy.

They strike up a deal. Chrissy will dictate Steve's notes and drop them in Eddie's locker herself. In return, Steve has to act as her fake-boyfriend to keep Jason at bay.

Then SHENANIGANS! Eddie gets feelings for Admirer, he sees Chrissy slip a note in his locker after Hellfire one evening. He's never had someone crush on him before, and he's straight (cue internalized homophobia, childhood trauma, big feelings for Steve he can't process) so he tries to convince himself he likes her.

The only problem is she's dating King Steve. Eddie hates the guy, with his stupid shiny hair and his big brown eyes and his moles and his smile... why does he get all the girls? Chrissy's the first girl to ever like him and of course Mr. Dreamy is dating her. They're not even clingy like he was with Wheeler so he probably doesn't even like her that much, just sees her as a rebound.

Eddie actually replies to the notes, leaving them in the library books Admirer tells him to. Steve knows Eddie likes Admirer, the pieces of Steve he shares in the notes, and it's the only way Steve gets to talk to him and he lives for it. But instead of Eddie asking who Admirer is, Steve watches as Eddie starts flirting with Chrissy. Steve gets all hurt and jealous because he thought Eddie was gay but now he's unsure. Still, he can't give up getting Eddie's replies, so he keeps writing.

Does Chrissy play along to keep Steve's secret even though this guy is crushing on her? Chrissy really likes Eddie, but she likes him as a friend. She decides to not tell him he's mistaken, because she wants to keep getting invites to band practice at Gareth's so she can spend more time with their cute friend Jeff.

Let's make it even more complicated! Instead of Tammy Thompson, Robin has a crush on Chrissy and sees her slip a note into Munson's locker on her way out of band practice and decides she's going to tell Steve to take him down a peg and hopefully breaks up with Chrissy. They then have a bathroom scene: she's been watching Steve and Chrissy for months and tells him how it's fucked up that he follows Eddie around, stares at him across the cafeteria, etc (she's saying it's bc Steve's jealous / Steve thinks she's calling him out). So he confesses, and cries. She feels like an asshat so she comes out too. They're just two gay idiots in love with straight people (only one of them is wrong. Sorry Robin!! Idk how to fix that part).

Steve starts coming with Chrissy to Hellfire night. Steve's doing it for protection from Jason, who's getting increasingly angry about Chrissy and Eddie. Eddie thinks Steve's being nice because he's sizing him up, trying to insert himself in between him and Chrissy in some macho way.

It all comes to a head when Jason catches Chrissy hanging with Jeff in the library (she's told Jeff EVERYTHING and is picking up Eddie's last reply). Jason hears them talking about Eddie planning to ask Chrissy out and decides to follow Eddie out to the quarry after school. Robin saw Jason pull out behind him and runs to tell Steve before he starts practice.

Steve rushes out and saves Eddie, then brings him home to patch him up. Eddie's pissy about it, Steve thinks it's adorable but frustrating. Jeff and Chrissy stop by the trailer when Eddie misses practice.

Eddie confesses his feelings to Chrissy, but she's holding hands with Jeff. Steve's forced to admit he's Admirer, sending Eddie head first into a sexuality crisis. But it's happy ever after so it's all good.

We get platonic hellcheer, platonic kingcheer (??), platonic stobin, Jeff x Chrissy (corrodedcheer??), and Steddie.

Idk there's something here but I don't want to write it lol Too many POVs and through lines for a person who already has a million WIPs.

[i-need-of-a-hobby]

modern/alive boy detectives au headcanons:

-for the purposes of my headcanoning the boys met in high school, didnt die this time, and post graduation are sharing a flat

-its still slowburn ofc claiming theyre "100% platonic" despite sharing a flat for two years and sharing a bed most nights for cuddling purposes

-how did the "platonic" cuddling start you ask?

-charles has chronic nightmares and edwin has a caffeine problem so they both end up awake at the most unholy hours of the night and charles decided the best use of these times is catching edwin up on pop culture

-because even in a modern setting, he had a supper sheltered childhood

-the first middle of the night movie they watch is legally blonde, which edwin got more invested in than he'll ever willingly admit

-they're watching in charles' bed naturally bc he's got a tv in his room, and charles falls asleep halfway through the movie every. single. time. because he feels safer when he's (super platonically) curled into edwins chest

-these fucking idiots

-charles also has this really beat up SUV he loves more than anything

-its literally the ugliest car youve ever seen but he got it used right after moving out for next to nothing, fixed it up himself, and now calls it daisy

-edwin hates the whole personifying cars thing but charles will only acknowledge the car if it's referred to as daisy ("stop calling daisy it, it hurts her feelings!" "charles it's a CAR" "SHE'S a car")

-edwin is also a passenger princess

-charles didnt really know what he wanted post high school other than to get out of his parents house asap so he takes a gap year and moves in with edwin

-it takes him a bit over a year (and just so much therapy) but he eventually decides to go to school part time majoring in psychology

-in his year off he worked a bunch of odd jobs but his favorite was at a comic book store in the local mall because he got free pins for his jacket AND could use their database to track down out of print batman comics for edwin

-edwin does go to college directly after graduation high school, majoring in forensic science

-he refuses to let anyone know but he also volunteers at a local animal shelter

-but he keeps it so on the downlow charles only found out when he brought an elderly cat home but even then he didnt outright say anything

-charles: edwin... what is that

-edwin: that is georgie

-charles: ok, cool cool cool, why is he here

-edwin: he only has three legs, he needs us

[sameschmidtdiffname]

Peeta as the smallest of 3 brothers definitely had to resort to dirty plays like biting in his youth.

First off, you're right and you should say it. Second off, Peeta being the youngest is 1000% a dynamic in his relationship with Katniss once they start to recover.

No bc listen. I was the youngest of three siblings and while we never got into physical fights I learned QUICK how to use my mouth to win what battles couldn't be fought physically because my siblings would 100% go to jail for trying to rock a 3 y/os shit. So Peeta was running his mouth religiously around the household. Can't tell me otherwise. "If it weren't for the baby??" Girl, he was biting AND flappin his lips. 100% would get pinned to the ground by his brothers and be like "wow I feel bad for your girlfriend" before getting his shit rocked. He'll offer them tips inbetween punches. "Aim for the throat. Wow, you're still pathetic."

Second, Katniss is the eldest, Peeta is the youngest in their families. Once they're more secure in their relationship, Peeta is 100% causing fun! problems 24/7. She's stressed the fuck out she's gonna come home one day from hunting again and half the house is repainted with all of the furniture just shoved into one big pile away from the drying walls like "WHY DID YOU DO THIS??" "bored :))" because he's so dangerously intelligent, I'm thoroughly convinced he's a practical fucking moron. He probably had to create his own entertainment as a child, he's used to being ignored. If he gets an idea to rearrange the furniture, he just does it. Katniss and Haymitch both have to intervene with how much this happens because Katniss complained about it to Effie once, and Effie started rambling about this thing called "feng-shui," and now Peeta is completely obsessed and will spend several hours to the point of obsession planning with Effie not just his decor, but literally fucking everyones, and Katniss tried to warn Haymitch "Hey, we need to fucking stop this," and Haymitch just said "get out of my house." But now Haymitch is too sober to deal with the constantly changing furniture, and why is this idiot painting his ceiling, and can you please pick up a hobby that doesn't involve majorly changing the layout of our houses? Peeta says no. Katniss instead comes home to Peeta having several geese chasing him at Haymitchs training. He's been waiting for an excuse to reveal this.

She stops feeling bad for needing his constant comfort once he starts biting her out of boredom. Oh, come on. You can see it. He would absolutely look at her arm one night and go "you look nice :))" before taking a giant fucking bite that makes her question every decision she made from age 16-18. There's a solid minute where they just sit in their bed at a standstill. She's holding her book in shock, he's just frozen still biting her. She says "What the fuck" he says "nostalgia :))" to which she's further confused and slightly terrified. She learns how to duck. He learns how to lure her in easier. Post-canon angst + comfort is cute, give me chaotic Peeta torturing his wife who just wants five minutes of peace but secretly adores her dangerously clever idiot of a husband

Imagine when they have kids. That woman is gonna go from "peetas baby!" To "your child."

He likes tossing the motherfuckers in the air. He's the kinda dad who will take off RUNNING with the shopping cart, shove the thing as far away as he can and just wave "bye bye! :))" to the baby inside of the cart that's laughing wildly while Katniss is just chasing this fucking thing down through the store like it's the quarter quell all over again and everyone else is just watching like "Jesus Christ he's doing it again." It gets worse when Peeta collaborates his children with the attacking geese to use against Haymitch when he tries to prevent him from repainting his ceiling again.

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

Red VS Blue, but make it Guild Wars 2

ok so i'm going to try and make this au make sense if you look at it from either side without prior knowledge of the other but theyre both so entrenched in my brain im not sure how well it'll work if you get lost im sorry in advance- or you can just enjoy the group piece and ignore the insane rambles below the cut! fair warning: its a lot! my red team yapping showing up in full force!

Don't say I didn't warn you :3

Context:

GW2 is a fantasy setting MMORPG, set in the world of Tyria. There are 5 playable races with their own unique cultures and such. I'm using the wikis for the races bc im lazy- the names are links to the proper wiki, but i've VERY ROUGHLY summarized for ease-

ASURA: The smallest playable race, Asura are highly intelligent and have a cultural focus on Academia and Research- furthering the reach of their magi-tech, sometimes at the cost of morals. Asura tend to be characterized as cocky intellectuals, who know more than everyone else in the room at any given time and they know it- but they're going to have a solution to a problem before you've finished explaining it.

CHARR: Giant anthropomorphic cats, the Charr are a militaristic race with a culturally cynical look on the world and a stubborn streak to match, and a general distrust of magic due to some Prior Circumstances. Charr tend to be characterized as gruff, fuck-around-and-find-out types, due to the military culture, and have more focus on their squad (warband) over individual relations.

HUMAN: On the surface, pretty par for the course here, but humans aren't actually native to Tyria- not that this stops them from being a cultural and territorial powerhouse in the setting. There is a fair bit of tension between humans and charr, and humans and some of the non-playable races in the game. Humans tend to be characterized as stubborn, tenacious and resourceful in a Tyrian context.

NORN: visually speaking, Norn appear to be giant humans, native to Tyria. Culturally speaking, Norn value honor and nature in equal measure- you should make a Legend for yourself, but you need to respect the Spirits of the Wild. Typically, norn are characterized as loud and boisterous, but reliable in a fight and always down to celebrate an impressive victory and share a story.

SYLVARI: The youngest race in Tyria, having only existed for about 25 years or so at the start of the game, Sylvari are plantfolk who Awaken from their mutually shared Dream as grown adults. The Dream gives sylvari the knowledge they need to function right out the gate, although the actual extent of said knowledge varies slightly by individuals, and is tended to by The Pale Tree (or the Pale Mother/Mother Tree, as sylvari know her)- sylvari follow a set of tenants given to them in the Dream that encourage compassion, kindness, and a drive to do what must be done called a Wyld Hunt.

__--__

RvB is a Halo machinima set in an appropriately sci-fi setting that is, above all else, fucking ridiculous. The plot, when it manages to exists in a semi-coherent fashion, focuses almost entirely on a band of absolute asshole idiots who cheat death as a hobby, swear a lot, and generally just would be unpleasant people to know but it is incredibly entertaining to put them into situations so that sums up the general vibe of the show. RvB is slightly less relevant to this au as the characters are what I'm yoinking and theyre all getting explained in their gw2 contexts here, but the main point is: the show is silly, and everyone in it is some brand of annoying, rude, mean, stupid or any combination there of. Also? Probably traumatized by war, whether or not they realize it. __--__

BORING STUFF OUT OF THE WAY ITS CHARACTER TIME __--__

THE GULCH KREWE - An Asura research team focused on making self sustaining golems. Technically Vic is the krewe lead, but he never seems to show up at their lab situated in the middle of no where for.... safety reasons. The official, documented by the asuran governement Gulch krewe is really incredibly small, at four asura strong, counting Vic even though there is quite a bit of debate on whether he actually counts since he's never around, but they have a reputation for being the worst krewe to work with. Ever. Of all time. Between reports of "unsafe necromantic practices" and general "workplace threats and harrassment", the only people who stay in the Gulch krewe have no where else to go. The "rank" nickname theme started mostly as a joke, but once it was started it was basically impossible to stop.

"Captain" Bucch Flowers - Asuran Necromancer - Asura, typically, do not have last names. Bucch, is not known for being the typical sort of asura. Eccentric and regarded as "morally questionable" by previous krewes, Bucch is a friendly individual who finds other people fascinating, both in terms of their psychology and physiology. He always has a smile on his face and a warm, cheerful demeanor that some people have claimed to be "unsettling", but I mean, really, he's just being nice. Right?

"Sarge" REDACTED - Asuran Engineer - Sarge took to his nickname with a brand of enthusiasm that really was just a warning to the kind of person he is, going so far as to have his previous name removed or changed on all documents he could. Loud, brash and unapologetic in everything he does, Sarge is the main "threat" of the Gulch Krewe between his wild experimental inventions, with their tendency to either go rogue against their creator or just plain blow up, his complete and utter lack of patience, and his habit of gesturing with his loaded shotgun during a conversation. His volume never drops below LOUD, but he's a very.. unique brand of genius who excels at making things that really shouldn't be physically possible work.

"Doc" Dufresne - Asuran Mesmer - Doc is, by all counts, the odd one out of the official Gulch krewe. Meek and empathetic in nature, Doc tends to be the moral voice of the krewe- one that often gets ignored. He is still annoyed by his ridiculous nickname, even if it is nice to have the affirmation that he really is part of the krewe. He's not even really a doctor! He's not great with medical care or technology. Or fighting. Or much of anything, if he lets himself be a little too honest. But he's part of the krewe, for better or for worse, and if that just means he uses his magic to pull his krewmates away from whatever is trying to murder them this week, then so be it.

The UNOFFICIAL Gulch krewe is a bit more.. diverse. Technically, non-asura don't get listed as krewe on the paperwork. They're hired help, not technically part of the team that gets credited for the work done in the published papers. Generally, this is because most hired hands don't have that much to do with the actual invention or research process- they're just there to be damage control when things go wrong. However with the Gulch krewe... a lot of things tend to go wrong. Technically speaking, there is no reason for a krewe of four three to have separate research teams. There is barely a reason for bigger krewes to do it. However... Captain Flowers and Sarge rarely seem to work on the 'technical' level of anything, and all it took was one offhanded comment from Vic (over comm, no less! couldn't even cause problems in person) for the pair of them to escalate and devolve into a rivalry that would ruin Doc's life, and the lives of pretty much everyone else who inevitably get swept up into it as well.

RED TEAM: Sarge claimed RED as his team color well before the idea of having color-coordination even occurred to Captain Flowers. Sarge claims he hired only the best to staff Red Team, with one exception for canon fodder.

Richard "Dick" Simmons - Human Elementalist - Born and raised in the upper ranks of human nobility, Simmons is a bit of a fish out of water when he's not in the human capital of Divinity's Reach. Of course, being an anxious individual with poor social skills, he didn't really fit in there either. He's got enough of the "I'm rich, you know," attitude held over from his upbringing that combined with a desire for praise, awkward conversation skills and the urge to prove his worth through his own intelligence, makes for a really obnoxious, know-it-all kissass of a man. But he's really good with technology, given his magic tends to prefer the buzz of electricity so that counts for something. Usually. He's not that bad once you get past the defensive nature and whiny voice. Probably?

Dexter Grif - Norn Warrior - With a hard earned feeling of "fuck it, fuck that, fuck this, I'm going to bed" that he trained into himself, Dex would have been perfectly content to spend his entire life lazing around his home city, Lion's Arch, scamming tourists and generally just kind of doing his own lazy thing. Or, at least, that's what he tells himself, as he has to look for actual work on the docks. It sucks. So when some loud mouth asura rocks up, shouting something Dex didn't really listen to beyond being a job, and a supposedly low effort one? Sign him the fuck up. But when the job is evidently not all naps and bored asura-watching, Dexter Grif will make his complaints known. Just... maybe not in range of Sarge's shotgun.

Donut - Sylvari Mesmer - Freshly Awakened, bright eyed, curious and endlessly talkative, Donut (Grif swears that can't be his real name, right?) is the Red team's resident socialite, sharpshooter, grenadier, portal expert and color coordinator. If you need something done, Donut is your man, or he can find you your man. While some people find his chipper attitude and love of 'dressing up' his friends with illusions annoying, and his tendency to veer into innuendos a bit awkward, everyone agrees it's hard to genuinely dislike Donut as a person. Maybe it's a mesmer thing, maybe it's a sylvari thing, maybe it's just Donut being Donut, it's hard to say. Despite his impeccable aim and frankly impressive throwing arm, Donut tends to be a little oblivious to the things right in front of him, but he's trying his best so most people tend to let it slide.

BLUE TEAM: Captain Flowers accepted BLUE as his team's color in good humor, as he tends to accept most things. He was not nearly as intense on his "requirements" for his team as Sarge- truthfully, most of Blue team were picked because Captain Flowers thought they were interesting more than anything to do with their actual skills.

Kaikaina Grif - Norn Elementalist - Kai has been called a lot of things, and not all of them flattering. Her personal favorites include sexy, wild, bodacious and "absolutely insane". She's a diverse gal. When her brother left Lion's Arch to go work for some mysterious asura in the middle of no where, Kai swore she didn't care. That lasted for all of a week, before she decided Dex was clearly up to something else and the asura job was a cover. Upon hunting her brother down and discovering, no really, it's literally what he said it was, she was disappointed. At least, until Captain Flowers offered her a position on Blue team. Being paid to stand around, look pretty, and bother her brother? Fuck. Yes.

Lavernius Tucker - Human Guardian - Growing up an orphan in Divinity's Reach makes a guy either really cruel or really clever. Tucker's never been the cruel type, so he went for clever instead. Though that quickly turned around to bite him in the ass, because being clever, and maybe a little bit of a smartass, means people notice you, and being noticed does not go well for him. Between at least one cult insisting he was some kind of savior from a forgotten bloodline, a jerk or three who didn't like Tucker outsmarting them or standing up for the people they were bullying, and whatever the hell is going on with his kid (courtesy of aforementioned cult), Tucker has more than had his fill of being noticed for being clever thank you very much. He just wants to find a quiet place to lay low and figure out this whole being a dad to a dragon thing. He's done being a hero and honestly he's done being helpful. Tucker's here to get paid, maybe get laid, and not get attached to anyone else that might screw him (or his kid) over.

Junior - Saltspray Dragon - Sort of a package deal with his dad, Junior is still figuring out the quirks and details of being a dragon in a society where 'dragon' is usually associated with the end of times, even for a "lesser" dragon like him. Fortunately, they're pretty solidly hidden in the middle of nowhere, so the only people around are friends of his dad's. Sort of. Junior is shy, generally, and tries to be careful with his size and his magic, but he's still a hatchling and sometimes it's real easy to get carried away when he's excited. Good news though! The Gulch krewe are well versed in shit breaking every other day, so no one gets too mad if something gets knocked off the shelf by his wings.

Church - Sylvari Thief - Some sylvari chose to cut themselves off from the Dream, in an effort to obtain either a sense of freedom from expectations, spite, or just a general desire for peace, quiet and solitude. While Church can certainly guess at his own, personal, reasons for becoming one of the Soundless, he sure as hell doesn't remember making the decision. Or much of anything, really, before about a week before he got hired onto Blue team. Just the name Church, which he can only assume is his name. He tells himself, amongst his internal tirades about his woes and his miseries, that Flowers hired him because he's smart and clearly the asura could see that. Not pity or anything like that. Still, it would be nice to actually remember literally anything. But Church doesn't complain about that- he's got more than enough things to bitch about from being part of the Blue team to distract his ego, his temper and his generally whiny attitude towards life in general. Who needs a past when you're surrounded by idiots?

Michael J Caboose - Norn Ranger- Never without his trusty arctodus companion, Freckles, Caboose is a joyful wall of muscle and hugs that frequently forgets that most people cannot, in fact, support the weight of him and his wolf-bear. Young and with no legend to speak of, Caboose is on a journey of his own making, to find friends that are just... so cool, everyone is going to want to hear stories about them! He just has the very very tricky job of remembering those stories. But hey, what are friends for, if not to help him when he forget a detail or twelve? And honestly, he thinks he found a GREAT group of friends here on Blue team. Sure they can be a little bit mean, but, Caboose has the heart of a skald according to the nice old ladies back home in Hoelbrak, and his heart knows when there's neat things

THE GOLEMS: The Gulch Krewe, official and unofficial, developed two more-or-less completely self-sustaining golems after splitting into their respective teams. They're not perfect, by any means, but they're certainly impressive to behold. Especially given that they both seem to be... well, people. That.. wasn't intentional.

Lopez - "Human" Engineer - Inspired by the dolls made by Tixx in the Infinirarium, Sarge chose to build a golem that looks almost human. His official logic claims that the more flexible build and increased intelligence allows for Lopez (Officially: L-0-PEZ - Lab-OH-Personalized Engineering Zoner. Sarge swears it makes sense. Red team is pretty sure he just made it up because he liked the name Lopez) to handle his own maintenance and upkeep, with improved head to body communication and modular independencies. The side effect of Lopez's "self repairing" abilities (read: his ability to take himself apart to put himself back together) is the fact that his body have very distinct seams, and he's prone to falling apart at them. His head coming off his neck is the worst and most common offender of this problem. Like most of Sarge's intelligent creations, Lopez has a sour attitude and very little respect for his creator. If you asked him, the only reason he sticks around is because it's easier to get his hands on the tools he needs to fix himself. That and no one else speaks Orrian since the continent and kingdom sank over 250 years ago. Well, no one besides Sheila.

Sheila - "Charr" Necromancer - Captain Flowers took a slightly more.. macabre approach to his golem creation. Made from the ethically and responsibly sourced bones of an anonymous charr donor (Captain Flowers's words), Sheila is a feat of magi-tech engineering and necromancy. Due to her... organic internal base, Sheila is much sturdier than your average golem for her size, and the necrotic magic that keeps her together and functioning needs almost no supervision, as it naturally drains minute fractions of life force from things around her, like non-sentient plants and insects. Though there are some... quirks, to be certain, but that's to be expected with such experimental magic! The days where she almost seems like a different person are most likely just her getting used to a shift in the magic, that's all. Nothing to worry about. Usually though, on her good days, Sheila is calm and patient, with a friendly attitude she seemed to pick up from Flowers, although somehow she's a bit better at reading a room than he is. She tends to be the most responsible and level head in the lab, which is fortunate considering she's also the biggest one there, excluding Freckles.

__--__

THE LANCER WARBAND: A tight knit charr warband, working outside of the charr legions mostly for decent pay and interesting jobs, the Lancer warband are skilled fighters, excellent hunters and all around impressive soldiers. Their one weakness? Their inability to get anything done without either a fight or fair bit of chatter (and the occasional argument leading to the fights) first. But once they've settled on an objective, they're nigh unstoppable.

York - Charr Engineer - By far the most laid back and easy going of the Lancer warband, York is the resident gunsmith, philosopher, mechanic and lockpick. If it requires nimble fingers (or claws, rather), York's got it covered. While he tends to be the chattiest of the bunch and that makes him seem distractable, York is often laser focused on his task- he just doesn't feel the need to act like he's focused. He's curious and honest in nature, and is always quick to come up with a joke to lighten a heavy mood.

Maine - Charr Warrior - Silent and deadly are the words most commonly used to describe Maine- not that they would ever come from him. Massive even by charr standards, Maine is brutal and efficient in a fight. By the time an enemy has seen his white fur, they're already screwed. Outside of combat, when it's just the warband, Maine still isn't a talkative sort of guy. He prefers to stand back and let the rest of them talk for him, with a few exceptions.

Washington - Charr 'Thief' (unrealized revenant) - Originally the 'cub' and rookie of the Lancer warband, Wash has earned his stripes as it were for his cunning adaptability on the field and his almost ridiculous good luck when it comes to survival. While he tries to be kind and compassionate when he can, he's more on the pragmatic side than he used to be, and he can't always balance being nice with being realistic. Still, Wash has a sarcastic streak big enough to give York a run for his money, and enough sharp wit and sharper knives to keep just about anyone else on their toes.

Texas - Charr Warrior - A bit of a badass, Tex is the Lancer warband legionnaire and easily the best fighter of them all. She's harsh, even to her own warband, but she cares more than she likes to let on. However, her temper tends to get the best of her, and she frequently works alone to blow off steam. The last time she left... she didn't come back.

South - Charr Necromancer - One of the twins, South is aggressive, impatient and vicious just as much as she is efficient with her magic. She's a survivor and despite her bitchy attitude and general disregard for the rest of her warband, she gets shit done. Maybe a little meaner about it than she needs to be but hey, it's done right? Who cares if a little more blood was spilled or if a few more punches were thrown than were strictly necessary.

North - Charr Guardian - The other twin, North couldn’t be more different from his sister. He’s gentle, understanding and tries to be a shoulder to lean on for anyone who needs it, not just their bandmates. Granted, sometimes this does get him punched, but his kind nature doesn’t stop him from giving as good as he gets. He’s a skilled marksman with a longbow, and his calm nature helps him keep a level head in a fight- useful, when you specialize in placing traps.

'Honorary' warband: When their Legionnaire, Tex, mysteriously vanishes, the Lancer warband is left fumbling in the wake. Fortunately, they have friends they can trust to help them get their bearings.

Carolina - Human 'Warrior' (unrealized Revenant) - not the step dad but the dad who stepped up Carolina has been a fighter and a soldier her whole life, or very damn near it. While not raised to quite the same degree of military as the average charr, her mother ran a tight ship of their home and after her passing, her father ran it even tighter. Her friendship with the Lancer warband started with a night of mildly drunken chaos with York, after which she kept in close contact with the charr. Intense in every factor, loyal, and more than a little competitive, Carolina thrives in combat situations that demand the most of her, which makes her a fast friend for the rowdy warband. Without Tex, the Lancer warband needed a leader, and Carolina stepped into the role of unofficial legionnaire as easily as donning her helmet. While comparisons between herself and Texas make her uneasy, she does admit she likes the feeling of being 'Boss' with the charr.

Reggi "Wyoming" - Asuran Mesmer - Reggi is a bit of an odd ball and a loner before he begins spending time with the Lancer warband. He enjoys a good pun and a bad knock-knock joke, but his disinterest in most scientific endeavors left him with little opportunities within asura society. So he left, took his humor and not much else with him, and has been something of a drifter ever since, more interested in taking care of himself above all else. While the Lancer warband may groan and scoff at him from time to time, they do work well with him, and even a selfish bastard like him needs back up from time to time.

[obzessed]

HP characters : powerpoint presentation headcanon

This is so random but here is how I imagine marauders' era characters doing a powerpoint presentation

The Marauders

Do over the top presentations, (down to using costumes, yes) would make the wildest powerpoint (too many colors because they can’t agree on anything)

They make it really fun and entertaining tho

use the airplane (flying broom ??) transition, except the airplane is on fire for some reason

indian drama level of presentation

Will Not stop giggling and interrupting each other

Jocks in middle school vibe, but they’re actually really smart

here to clown and have a laugh

generally get a high grade but get points deducted for clarity and taking too damn long

Severus Snape (+bonus Lily Evans)

In a solo presentation, Severus would make perfect, pristine presentation

King of bullet points

University standards powerpoints

only uses peer reviewed articles

always criticizes said peer reviewed articles

Never uses notes, but doesn't look the audience in the eyes ever

Doesn't look at the audience period

He's not shy, he doesn't even do it consciously

Extremely complicated subjects, Will Not Dumb It Down For You

If anyone has a question, will look at them as if they’re the biggest idiot in the room

The type to explain by simply reformulating what he just said

If they still don’t understand either sighs dramatically and moves on, or sighs dramatically and start drawing on the board, speaking veeeryyyyy slowly, you let me know where I lost you idiot fellow classmate

Actually explains really well when he puts in some effort, has this clean cut way of decomposing each problem and detailing each point, then tying it all back together that makes it really easy to follow

writing on the board and drawing legitimately helps him lay out his thought process

the condescension is just a plus

Type of presentation that is objectively very good and interesting and well thought out but like. no one cares. bring back the airplane transitions.

For a few people sufficiently advanced and interested and who actually understand what he’s talking about, (and who are not rebuked by his style and general attitude), it’s a v good presentation

Positive : Always adds something new and generally brings really pertinent arguments, genuinely passionate about what he’s talking about

Teachers pick up on his fast out of the box thinking and surprising creativity

his powerpoint design is a little depresso, no colors except to highlight important words

very minimalist and to the point

Regulus argues every point of his presentation

Academic rivals to lovers frfr

Gets point deducted for his attitude and his “lack of enthusiasm”

NOW Severus + Lily = best of both worlds, get an O everytime

Lily always insists on using canva (their pwp designs are so cute)

overall they balance each other really well

I feel like Lily would get a little giggly if she fumbles

The marauders would def shout “boring” and giggle like middleschoolers at the back of the class during Snape's presentation

Snape's ability to remain unfazed in the face of bs stems from there

God help them all if they get paired up for a presentation

Marauders + Severus

Snape would have to settle for at least one airplane transition

It would become a war of adding and deleting each other's progress on the pwp design

they split it in two but they try to gain terrain on the other's part like in Clash of Clan

They are at WAR

“I am a commander in battle and your slides are but a village on a map” James Potter

“Fuck you” Severus Snape

“Go jump off an airplane if you like them so much”

Somehow the presentation is even more chaotic than the previous one

passive aggressively asks the other to click on the next slide

always takes the other's question just as they're about to speak

If Snape sees a single one of them look at their notes for too long it's on sight (RIP Pettigrew)

Bc Fuck if he's gonna lose points over this

best or worst grade

lots of brain cells

Teacher tried to make the braincells hold hands but the brain cells are Enemies

[obitoslover]

Your perspective on things is AMAZING. I have no words, I'm just

Your insight on the characters and situations is just-- it feels so canon/dark (not "light hearted" as the actual series, but fitting with Konoha Founders era) I feel I can touch it with my own hands (pls tell me what's that fanfic so I'll follow/subscribe.)

And I love the historical facts, I really admire how much you know about japanese history and language

@narutobrainrotstuff @evilkitten3

mutuals what do you think it would happen if madara was the first hokage? excluding kurozetsu's whole plot ofc

[xshimaeraxx]

here, take a casino cups au/fic idea (bc i have WAY too many wips in my ellipsus drafts rn 2 make another one):

in the isles, the age of legal majority, is, for reasons that only God truly knows*, 26. due to this, the fact cuphead and mugman, a pair of 18 year olds with a very, very dead legal guardian, are living alone is… troublesome (and that's not even getting inta the fact that they're working a job, and while that ALONE wouldn't be illegal, the fact that they're doing it to keep themselves from bein' caught by CPS most definitely IS. Why else d'you think they're working at a place they died at likely over a hundred times?—it's LITERALLY the only job that'd take 'em, bc every other one called cps on them when their old bosses inevitably figured out they were 17 / 18; devildice, however, just don't fucking care about the fact they're 18, on the run from cps, and technically currently using the identities/credentials of their very, very DEAD bio-parents to get food & yk, Live Life Like A Fucking Normal Person so long as they do their jobs well. sure, it means they have to periodically dye their hair (humanised au my beloved) dark brown, and sure, it means they have to hide their straws & their tails & their ears & just themselves entirely, but it's better then bein' stuck with some random stranger they don't even know. fuck's sake, they fought the devil and WON, if any pair of so-called "kids" deserve to be able to live like a normal person, it's them.***)

so, of course, once devil & dice find out 'bout this little problem of the siblings' after they start workin' at the casino, the next obvious solution (not, it's batshit inSAN- gets shot) to this problem is for the siblings to let devildice. adopt. them.

for some godforsaken reason, the siblings, when devildice proposes this solution, simply look at each other, have a silent conversation that lasts about, oh, 4-5 minutes, and then "oh, fuckit, it'll solve our problem, and it's not like we ACTUALLY consider our the two idiots our fam'ly, so why not?"

but then. then the siblings start to consider devildice family. and that's when things start getting complicated

* (the reason is because inkwellians, unlike normal humans, don't truly mentally mature 'til they reach the age of 31 (bc God's a control freak, inkwellians are his favourite subspecies of humankind, & so He projects that need for control LITERALLY onto the way they grow and mature 'n such 'n such) but having 26 as the legal majority was already very much pushing it w the way the OutsidersTM's law-makers and governors were eyeing them, so 26 it stayed.)**

** fun fact! the whole "aren't truly mentally mature 'til they're 31" thing? doesn't apply to cups 'n mugs, bc they're descendants of the calix animi, to whom God allowed a biiit more leeway w the whole "bullshit biological / mental maturation" thing. shortly put, it means that they would actually be completely mentally mature at age 24ish, but THEY don't know that. no one, in fact, but their ma and elder kettle 'n chalice did. :3

*** (can you tell they have parental / daddy / mommy issues? can you?)

[bonbon-acide]

FTM Keith transitioning before he entered the garrison ( mainly Klance content)

Ftm Keith meeting Lance before entering the garrison in like a advanced/prep class. Even if hes still known as the emo kid, Lance star having a crush on him but never really talk to him bc Keith as a killer/dont bother me attitude that intimidate Lance.

Ftm Keith entering in his first year in the garrison, he finally started transitioning. Shiro and Adam are higly supportive of him, making sure the garrison use his proper name and gender and that everything is made so he doesn't feel like a burden or uncomfortable of being outed

Ftm Keith entering the garrison fully changed and more confident then before. Lance is in his class and hate him, doesn't understand why this bratty fucking kid is in his class and not the cute talented girl from last year. Start holding a gruge against Keith and Keith thinks Lance hates him because he's just transphobic or something like that

Ftm Keith start to kinda gets into verbal fight with Lance bc he's sad that the boy he liked is just an asshole. Hunk is the only one who realized Keith is the emo girl from prep class and also the only one Keith talks to bc he's really understanding and didn't say anything to anyone about his transition

Ftm Keith dropping out after the Kerberos accident. He reunites with Lance and Hunk when they finds Shiro and etc. Keith is fully transitioned, the man as we know it today and Lance gets a bit mad that his rival is hot

Ftm Keith joining Voltron with everyone, still is a bit uncomfortable that Lance is here bc he still thinks Lance doesnt like him bc he's trans. Talk about this to Shiro who says that he should maybe break the ice with Lance over that subject because they need to work together to save the universe

Ftm Keith doesn't really want to have this conversation but know its too important to just ignore this. Goes to talk to Lance about his transphobia

"If you have something against me, just tell me rather than be petty about it"

"Im not being petty I just don't understand why they accepted YOU into the garrison."

"Well if you have a problem about my gender , deal with it, its none of your business"

"What are you talking about? Your gender? I just think you're a prick"

Ftm Keith is as utterely confused as Lance, tells him that if he's not transphobic than what doesn't he like about him. Lance tells him that first, he thinks is annoying and second, that he's still mad that he took the place of the cute emo girl from prep class

Ftm Keith realizes Lance is not transphobic hes just an idiot and also realizes that Lance liked him back. Keith explains that he is that girl from prep class but Lance has some trouble understanding the concept of transitioning especially how the cute emo girl became his hot and sexy manly rival.

Ftm Keith taking a long time explaning everything to Lance so he really does understand. After that things get awkard bc they're still deeply in love with each other but Lance has to go through realising he's bi and Keith questions himself if Lance might be interested in him as a man

-

Would be interested into writing more about trans keith, tell me if you want some smut headcanon

[jessythebunny]

What are your favorite ttte ships?

Ohh that's the question that I was waiting for, since I'm a multishipper I have a lot of my favorite ttte ships:

The ships in my Au:

Thomas x Rosie: this is my first ever favorite ship, when I saw these two intracred many times, I started to ship them bc they look very adorable and chummy together, and I really like the blue and pink/red dynamic sm.

James x Emily: this is literally a brain rot for me, these two in my opinion are the best, because I see how many times James flirts with Emily or being kind to her, especially in the miller era, and back there, this ship is 100% canon.

Gordon x Rebecca: this is the recent canon ship in the fandom, I love this ship because Gordon finally found someone who understands him and his nature, not like others, and I really love their ship name "Gorbecca"

Duck x Oliver: believe me or not, but in my view, this ship is perfection, althought they look too similar and had builed by the same person, I just believe in the fanmade episodes and there's a lot of signs proof that they like echother

Toby x Henrietta: the only straight ship in the fandom, they absolutely work very well and that's the opinion of anyone who thinks that

Diesel x Mavis: I don't ship them much but they are also cute, Diesel is a bad guy and likes to cause a lot of disasters, while Mavis is the one who tries to warn him to stop doing all the nonsense, but anyway I ship them

My favorite (Secret) ships:

James x Edward: they really are the cutest pairs, I really love their dynamic and how wholesome they are, and if I didn't headcanon them as brothers and I didn't have a massive crush, I'll let them being a gay couple

Donald x Duck: this ship is so fucking cute, they really make me cry of their cuteness, and I really love their episode "Donald's Duck", but we didn't have a lot of intractions of them in the CGI and that's very sad.

Douglas x Oliver: the same thing we can say about them, CUTENESS AHHH, and I love how Douglas saved Oliver from being scraped and I wish that they intracted a lot in the CGI too

Percy x Diesel 10: Uhm sorry if you don't like this one but they're not bad, in the movie "Day of the diesels" Diesel 10 shows a lot of tenderness and respect to Percy, and Percy was blushing, but he didn't know that Diesel 10 was using him to seize the steam works, and Percy was such an idiot, but their first moments are so wholesome

Gordon x Henry: these are also great and fit echother, but the problem is I headcanon them as relatives but Idgaf, I still ship them

Gordon x James: This is without a doubt the cutest ship for me. We notice that their relationship is very wonderful and no one insults the other, but it is rare to find

Emily x Caitlin: ohh this is a minor ship, they work very well tbh, Emily is being in love with another female engine is something new for her, and please don't attack me because it's just my opinion that's all

This is just my opinion and every single person has their own opinion!!!

[hellobitchlet]

Thoughts on Natlan act 3 and 4:

Act 3-

- there is seriously no point to giving Traveler an ancient name. They're very obviously just being given one bc the writers want to show off how amazing they are at everything again. If the whole point of ancient names is that it's solely a Natlan thing, then there's no point in Traveler getting one. Why were they and Paimon scrambling to get one? You're already being praised and given new abilities constantly, you don't fucking need it.

- that aside, Xilonen gave a decent explanation of how ancient names and the night kingdom work. I didn't feel like act 1 or 2 explained anything properly beyond "it sure exists and is important to the super special archon's plans", but Xilonen explaining that deeds have to happen inside of Natlan and be recorded and acknowledged by the Wayob (who will only acknowledge ppl from Natlan) was easy to understand and made perfect sense. My only problem here is that it should've been explained this cleanly back in act 1, before we started using ancient names for drama. Because, you know, maybe I would've cared more about it then?

- the Ororon stuff would've been much more interesting and tense if it wasn't introduced by... being randomly told to you. In the middle of an unrelated plotline. And then spending the whole fucking time assuring you that he's a great person while you follow a trail. And doing nothing else except experience Citlali's inner thoughts. That was literally the entire build up to meeting him.

- despite it being handled in the most boring way possible (and god, do I want to emphasize that they handled it in a boring way), I do like the plotline between Citlali, Ororon, and Capitano. It's a lot more interesting than the basic ass saving Natlan plot, which is about as much of a stereotypical hero plot as they could've made it. I honestly adore Citlali and Ororon now, they're definitely my favorites of the Natlan cast. Like, they had actual on screen conflict with one another for a few minutes! They care sooo much about each other and it was shown through their actions and interactions with each other instead of just monologuing it to Traveler. The bar is below the fucking ground...

- I especially enjoyed seeing Citlali getting drunk and accidentally spilling about her problems. However... it's funny (read: annoying) to think about how long it's taken for this to actually fucking happen when Kaeya and Venti have been here since the beginning, and about how much Kaeya and Venti have been shit on for being alcoholics. It was probably one of the best character building moments I have ever seen from Genshin, but man, a newly introduced Natlan character should not have been the first one to do this.

- "we've only known each other for a few days, right? What would you think of me if I were to start dumping all my complaints on you after we've only just met?" Oh thank god she has some actual self awareness. I wish other characters (playable and npc) would stop infodumping their entire backstories the moment they're introduced. Ultimately, the awkward telepathy moment that they're probably never going to explain served the same purpose. But that wasn't something she was doing on purpose, so I'm willing to forgive her for it and pin it on the writers instead.

-it really sucks that they're being so confusing about Citlali's age. You know it's because of Hoyo's refusal to make playable characters that aren't 1000% conventionally attractive. They're seriously trying to give us a teacher/student relationship in which the teacher is supposed to be significantly older than the student and NOT give her a single wrinkle. She also kept saying stuff that implied she would age to be hundreds of years old, so I want to be interested in that, but it just got caught up in the confusion of "wtf is her age?!"

- I got increasingly annoyed every time Traveler shared the Capitano stuff with others. You fucking idiot!!! He specifically told you not to do that!!! You barely even doubted Mavuika even though you barely know her and she's mostly just been standing around going "trust me on this bc I know what I'm doing" this whole time!!! Are you sure you even care about what he had to say?! Because he specifically said he would tell you if you actually fucking listened to him, which you are going out of your way to NOT do!!! Just a few real life months ago you were acting all buddy-buddy with Arlecchino!!! Can you be consistent about your opinions on the Fatui for one second!!!

- they were really trying super hard to make Capitano wanting to save Natlan mysterious, and make him have ulterior motives (like literally every other harbinger since Scara), but like... First off, this is the last gnosis the Fatui doesn't have, and second, he directly said that Mavuika failing would be bad for the rest of Teyvat as well. He already had perfectly good reasons. You don't need to make yet another harbinger have ulterior motives.

- I almost liked the Chasca and Chuychu moment. But I say almost because... there was no fucking point to it except to tell you that the Fatui found an ancient relic. You were just stuck in dialogue box hell that made a weak attempt at pretending there was gameplay by putting a timer on single dialogue options (not even being given multiple options? really?). That whole thing should've been a sneaking sequence with Traveler. There's literally no reason why it wasn't one. It wouldn't even require good writing to add that. Just have Mavuika say that someone found a large Fatui camp, and have Traveler volunteer to sneak in to check it out. Then, you could've had Traveler finding the relic, and maybe finding Capitano and Ororon and follow them to the domain while they discuss their plan. There you go. That would've saved you a lot of time stuck in dialogue boxes, by removing this sequence and the Ororon memory sequence and replacing it with an extended period of gameplay.

-However, the role reversal and the actually showing how good the sisters are at working together improved their characters a lot for me. Chasca doesn't feel as much like a Shenhe copycat when fighting with Chuychu. But even then, it was very annoying when it turned into "don't worry, we don't actually mean what we say! We're just stubborn!" immediately after their sequence. I could fucking tell, Genshin. I'm not a child.

Act 4-

- ...in theory, initially fighting with Capitano and eventually convincing him to help us is an okay storyline. But none of this felt like fighting him! We literally spent the whole fucking time following him and his troops around and debating what his intentions are! And no, a single fancy cutscene unrelated to Traveler doesn't count! We never got to hear his side of the story until after he failed, and he just had a 10 second spat with Mavuika, revealed that he's from Khaenri'ah, and reluctantly agreed to Mavuika's plan within 5 minutes.

- also, after Fontaine offloaded the majority of Furina's backstory onto an inner monologue in act 5 that just reiterated what we already knew about her, I am not a fan of poor Ororon getting a similar treatment in the end. It's not as bad bc it served a purpose in the story besides "look at how sad he is!", but suddenly becoming one of the special heroes his super special archon wanted and having no objections was a really boring ending to what started off as the first on screen playable ch vs playable ch conflict we've had since like... Childe in Liyue I think? Hoyo is lucky that it has cultivated fandoms that see monologues and sudden info dumps as good writing.

-I'm glad that seelies are finally confirmed to be angels, and that we're getting more proper Celestia lore, but once again, Hoyo is lucky that it has cultivated fandoms that see monologues and sudden info dumps as good writing.

- I have mixed feelings about Capitano's backstory and intentions. On one hand, I like that he's from Khaenri'ah, and I'm very glad that he knows the abyss sibling and Dain. I really like the Khaenri'ah related parts. On the other hand, I'm not a fan of the Natlan parts of his backstory. As I've said before, I'm really fed up with Genshin tailoring harbinger backstories so that they're part of the lore of the nation they show up in, instead of Snezhnaya. And I'm even more fed up with them making every harbinger have different goals that are unrelated to the Fatui. I've talked about this before in this post.

-going back to the point about his goals, his backstory can still perfectly serve as an explanation for why he's helping the Tsaritsa, with or without the Natlan part. You still didn't need to pull any of the special motives stuff. It would've made perfect sense to say that Capitano (+ Tsaritsa as well maybe) was afraid that the destruction of Natlan could interfere with their plan, so Tsaritsa has been sending him and some troops to deal with the situation and try to get the gnosis in the process. But, of course, Mavuika would fight back and be a powerful opponent, so this mini war between them has been going on for a while, which would tie back to Varka's letter from Weinleslfest first mentioning him going to Natlan 2 years ago.

-...oh, wait. That Weinleslfest moment and Mika's backstory was probably just to remind you that he and Varka existed and foreshadow him being in Natlan and didn't actually mean anything. I know this isn't related to Natlan at all, I just felt like saying it. We don't talk about Mika enough, okay?

- with all that being said, after how much I hated Arlecchino, and Dottore being used as a scapegoat to make playable harbingers look better, I had little interest in Capitano initially. But I do actually like him now. Maybe even just as much as I like Citlali and Ororon?

- speaking of the Fatui, I have to mention how weird it is that the pyro gnosis being the last gnosis the Fatui doesn't have isn't treated like a big deal at all. The idea of Capitano even bringing the gnosis to the Tsaritsa is barely even mentioned. We're literally going to Snezhnaya next, and the Fatui screen time is STILL not focused on the Tsaritsa's plans?! There is no worry about what will happen if he succeeds in getting the gnosis? No talk about what the Tsaritsa's plans could be? No talk about what it could mean for Natlan or the rest of Teyvat? No connecting this story to the overarching plot beyond a few lore reveals? Nothing??

- Genshin is seriously bad at stakes. THAT WASN'T A FUCKING WAR, THAT WAS A SINGLE BATTLE! It just... suddenly sprung up, and it took about 10 minutes, but I almost started feeling tense. There were actual corpses all over the place, and I was fighting non stop instead of being stuck in a dialogue box, even if the mobs themselves were fairly boring, and then... Chasca suddenly became one of the special heroes and everything was over. All of that was like... half an act of fighting? Literally any other game would have at least finished the 'war' at... the end of the story? Obviously? We couldn't have at least waited to finish this in act 5?? Seriously?? This whole thing was just a vehicle to quickly make Chasca one of the heroes, finish the 6 heroes plot point, and then show a hint of the false sky??

- gameplay wise, why did the handle the 'war' like that? What was with the slow ass hot air balloon I was forced to use 3 times- but was allowed to teleport to places the rest of the time? Why was I forced into a situation where I couldn't leave, when I was literally just in Natlan and not a domain? Why did we suddenly switch to a different dialogue box just for a few minutes?? Someone PLEASE explain to Hoyo that adding new stuff doesn't automatically make it good. Or, I guess 'novel', as their surveys put it.

- Chuychu was the closest I've ever come to actually being sad for an npc's death. Probably because I actually saw someone react to it, instead of Genshin just expecting you to care because Paimon is telling you to. Because of the Chuychu stuff, I'm actually starting to like Chasca, and I'm glad for it. Liking a character in theory despite canon is much better for rewriting stories than disliking them entirely and not knowing what to do with them (*glances at Fontaine*).

- I'm starting to see that the 6 heroes plot is probably just their current ploy to place the focus on the characters who have come out this update, or are coming out next update. Act 2 has Mualani becoming a Special Hero, because her first banner was up at the time. Then act 3 and 4 had Ororon and Chasca becoming Special Heroes, because Xilonen already is one and they're coming out next update.

- that being said- I feel bad for Kachina and Mualani. Kachina was the obvious 'main character' of act 1, with Mualani and Kinich as supporting characters. But then in act 2, the focus was shifted over to Mualani, because she's a 5 star and her first banner is happening, so they need to convince people to like her. And in the process, Kachina was screwed over in what should've been her plotline, becoming a supporting character whose role is to prove how good at The Power of Friendship Mualani is and introduce us to the 6 heroes stuff. ...and then both are screwed over in the very next update because they're already out and don't have anything else to do.

- I know that she'll presumably get more screen time when she comes out, but it's greatly worrying me (for reasons that should be obvious) that Iansan is barely being given any screen time. I am so worried that they're trying to pull a Xinyan or a Candace with her, because of course they would.

- literally what response are you expecting me to have to Xilonen slowly dying for Traveler to get an ancient name when it's revealed in the randomist and calmest way possible?? It's obviously supposed to be cheap emotional fuel, but both Xilonen and Citlali are being so calm about this random reveal that I didn't end up caring either. I don't care so much that I almost forgot to mention it in this post.

Overall, not impressed at all, but there are a few tiny gems in here that will be good for when I eventually have to get to it in my rewrite lol.

[bee-a-garbage-shipper]

trans!tim + pregnancy

tim, because he's an idiot with no self preservation, decides to stalk the red hood when he first shows up

he ends up finding one of red hoof's safe houses and decides that breaking in is a good idea

he's shifting through some paperwork when he's suddenly being pushed against the floor by a wall of muscle

obviously jason is pissed, he wants to know what his replacement is doing here

except tim is busy trying not to be to horny because yes the red hood is hot and yes this is like something straight out of one of his favorite fantasies but it is not the time

jason notices and decides to being an ass calling tim a slut

tim takes offense

"i'm still a virgin because i couldn't even sleep with my own girlfriend because i was too busy feeling guilty for being in love with someone else"

which causes jason to roll his eyes because tim could have easily pursued whoever it was instead

"sorry but i'm not into necrophilia"

which ok jay's happy the green is gone but kinda feels like an ass now but he also assumes that the person in question would want tim to be happy and move on and he tells tim this

"it's not, he didn't know, honestly he probably didn't even know i existed, i was to scared to talk to him before,"

and yeah jason really wants to end this conversation he doesn't want to feel bad for his replacement

he shifts around and tim reacts again

"you know if you're so desperate i don't mind helping"

tim definitely finds that idea appealing but argues because that's the right thing to do here

"why not, you can call out his name and live the fantasy and i get a nice warm hole"

and tim knows this is a bad idea he should be saying no and trying to get the fuck away from the crime lord but

"we never speak of this again"

obviously sex happens, jay does briefly pause when tim says jason but he's definitely telling himself it's a coincidence

(it's a common enough name so like, it could be)

afterwards they're both tired but then tim gets oracle reaching out via his previously off comms like

"i know you were busy but we've got a situation, mass arkham break out"

tim shelves the implication that at least barbara is aware of tim's very bad decision making skills and gets his ass up and out to help out

unfortunately for tim the night ends with him catching ivy and even more unfortunately she caught him too

thankfully it's just cuddle pollen so, bc he is the king of bad decision making and has 0 self worth, tim goes home and hides in his closet and rides it out so he doesn't bother anyone

problem is because of all this he forgot that he needs plan b

he remembers when his period doesn't show up

the 3 pregnancy test all say positive and tim is not looking forward to that conversation with red hood

not sure where it goes after that except both jason and tim get the terrible experience of finding out that tim did get to lose his first time to his first love

[dogbunni]

[begins coughing like a cat about to throw up a furball] [spits up several nendo headcanons and then looks at u proudly]

-nendo collects hot wheels. I have no justification beyond this except that I also collect hot wheels and I think we'd have that in common. if he was real I would take nendo to a toy shop to look at all the hot wheels. just stand there and observe them for an uncomfortably long time. my friends aren't deeply autistic enough to do this with me so I can never observe the little cars for long enough before making a purchase :(

-nendo trans ally #1

-nendo has no idea what his sexuality is but not in a confused/questioning way, in a "I have never thought about it longer than 1 second" way. he likes who he likes and has no thoughts beyond that. he is label-less in a [shrugs shoulders] way. (saiki is also label-less but in a "fuck you" kind of way)

-nendo loves rollercoasters and watches weird essay length youtube videos about theme parks and animatronics. its a hobby that deeply disturbs everyone around him bc this guy cannot do basic math but he can and will channel the spirit of akechi rambling about defunct animatronics. sometimes he shows saiki pictures of animatronics in late stages of decay in horrible pitch black nightmare settings and saiki reacts as if nendo has placed a live cockroach in his lap.

-he has a condiment problem. steals sauce packets from restaurants with diagnosable compulsion.

-he doesn't Get memes. everyone has tried and failed to show nendo a meme. it's like trying to show your mother a funny picture and she holds the phone as far away from her face as she can and then stares at it for way too long before silently handing it back. he just doesn't Get It.

-hes like, really good at making memes though. he will just absently turn a phrase or take an image so absurd that everyone is still saying and reposting and reacting with it years down the line. he has no idea that he has this power

-he feeds stray cats and makes little shelters for them outdoors <3

-nendo and kaido roleplay together sometimes. I'm talking like, warrior cats roleplay. sometimes dark reunion but kaido gets pissy if nendo messes up The Lore. nendo calls it "playing pretend" bc he has no concept of cringe culture and kaido dies inside every time

-he manages to forget his own birthday. every year. saiki remembers though, and it's the one and only day he will ask if nendo wants to get ramen with him, instead of the other way around. it gets to the point that saiki asks if nendo wants ramen, and he says "what, is it my birthday ahaha" and saiki is just like. you goddamn idiot. good grief.

-last time I did one of these I said that nendo loves cute things like sanrio plushies and holds them so gently. well I see that and I am correct, but I raise you nendo thinking that SAIKI is the cutest thing he's ever seen. something about the pink hair and glasses and the little limiter bubbles on his head and his purple eyes and little frowny eyebrows- nendo wants to. hold gently. sometimes he just grabs saiki by the shoulders and stares at him blank in the face and saiki is like [nervously] "what the fuck? what the fuck????"

-he and aiura actually get along weirdly well. they're unhinged in similar flavours and it gets saiki's blood pressure up. he tries at all costs to keep them away from each other. their singular brain cells cancel each other out on sight.

-akechi makes nendo's brain hurt a little. he just can't process all of akechi's akechi-ness and it makes him feel dumb. he's fine with being dumb most of the time but akechi just makes him feel a little self conscious for some reason. (definitely not because he's jealous that akechi was friends with saiki first)

-he still likes the funny lil guy though. akechi's the only one who will enthuse with him about rollercoasters and he values those talks. so much.

-toritsuka is afraid of nendo for some reason. no one is sure why but nendo LOVES it. he's always trying to jump out and scare him. saiki supports nendo in this endeavour ardently. toritsuka suffers.

-nendo falls down the weirdest tiktok rabbit holes. it got so bad once that they got teruhashi to distract him while kuboyasu lifted his phone and deleted the app off of it. it took nendo several months to realise he could redownload it.

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 54

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

all i want for christmas by tusslee

“Listen,” Lance squeezes Keith’s fingers in his hands, “I’m as bad at this as you probably are and this is going to be really cheesy, but that’s the way I was raised and I know I act like an idiot around pretty girls, but I’m an even bigger idiot around you. Go ahead and try to guess why that is. No, actually don't do that."

this one is gonna be an xmas special!! even though im writing this before halloween lol. anyways. this was so cute!! lance being all stressed about what he should get keith bc he's all in love w him any everything. so real.

2. You're Here (Where You Should Be) by @blue-wanderer

"And if you’re worried about the cameras just take care of them.” “Take care—! Take care of them? With what, Keith?” “I don’t know?” Keith asks, busily testing his foothold in the gate and generally ignoring the rising storm cloud of ire behind him. “With a gun?” “A gun? This isn’t some sort of black ops storming an enemy base thing! This is a Christmas tree thing!” “I don’t see a difference? You’re the sharpshooter. Shoot out the cameras.” “Let me just pull a gun out of my ass, Keith!” “OK, problem solved,” Keith agrees, taking another step up the gate. “Nothing is solved you dumb country space redneck!”

Or Keith and Lance may be disasters at decorating, but Christmas still manages to work its magic on them.

i bookmarked this like a year ago and let me tell you all i needed to hear was dumb country space redneck and i was hooked 😭😭 and it lived up to the name fr. hate the canon ending? want lance to not be a farmer while still acknowledging his struggles with homesickness? want some whipped keith and meddlesome kosmo? want some cheesy xmas feels? click ahead!

3. make my wish come true by angelbolt

“A world where one has to fight for custody of one’s boyfriend is a godless one,” Lance muttered, slumping so he was leaning against Hunk. Shiro exchanged some final words with Kolivan before the screen blipped out. Ah yes, the ideal Christmas Eve: long boring talks and war meetings. Wonderful. ❆❅❆ keith comes home for christmas.

fun game idea: take a shot every time you see a klance xmas fic with a mariah carey lyric. lol. ANYWAYS yall know me and established relationship + early season dynamics!! i am obsessed!! and this fic delivers!! grumpy lance pov who just wants the rest of the world to fuck off for a couple days so he can have his bf around. he's such a voice of the people

4. i'll be home for christmas by @thespacenico

A severe bout of winter weather threatens to stop Shiro from making it home for his first Christmas with Keith. Shiro is ready to do whatever it takes to keep his promise.

okay this one is from darcy's i've got you brother, which i am obsessed with and have cried over several times, and which just recently updated! this fic is so cute and a adashi with young keith always fucking gets to me, man. they're just so. shiro being so desperately determined to keep his promise to young keith who has had so many promises broken that he doesnt even expect shiro to try. but is happy that he does. sobbing.

5. the greatest gift of all by dumpsterdiva

Keith’s mouth hung open for a few seconds before he stammered, “D-do you really mean that?” Lance looked a bit sheepish as he said, “I… It’s crazy, right? I mean, it’s way too soon. You know I was kidding.” Keith straightened up. “Well, I’m not. Marry me.” “What?!” “You heard me, you coward. Marry me.” “That’s the worst proposal ever!” “Worse than you threatening me with marriage so I would stop talking about how amazing you are?”

YOU GUYS KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT PROPOSAL FICS. i feel ksjbskdbqjdbqwlwd about them. okay. and throw in a christmas setting??? and banter?? and a MODERN AU?? i am doing my best, people. this fic had me shoving a pillow into my face and screaming.

that’s it for today!! happy holidays! merry christmas!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[yippeeometer]

The Northeast states watching out for each other, but they're subtle about it. Like dropping off a cup of coffee, but if someone comments on it, they'll brush it off like it's no big deal

oh no its much worse.

the northeast but they're trying to be subtle and desperately failing bc they're all as dense and emotionally constipated as the other.

cut drops off coffee for york. york immediately assumes he's laced it with poison bc they are peak sibling core. they argue intensely, during which cut insists if he needed to kill york he would be MUCH more physical and he has not poisoned the coffee (he had laced it with sleeping pills bc 'the city that never sleeps' turns out not to be an exaggeration.

cut spends the next few hours complaining to new hammy about it. hammy's eye twitches the whole time as he recollects last week, when he did the exact same thing to cut and they had the exact same argument. ur honour they're not beating the 'exact same person in different shirts' allegations.

in fact, many of them can recite, word for word, the exact schpiel jersey goes through every time someone asks for ingredients from his garden. oh my god i hate you get a job why are you always mooching off me. what the fuck do you mean you'll go to a grocery you're taking things from my garden. ill bring them over myself. idiot.

there's just a silent agreement that there's no alcohol allowed at parties anymore bc after Pa's like 9th attempt at sobriety they all had a big think ab where the problems were stemming from and that was the best thing they could think up.

because i am a heavy believer in jewish ne supremacy there is a wonderful period between rosh hashannah and yom kippur when they're all putting in the best effort to be nice to each other which immediately dissolves the second they have to try and decide who gets to use the shofar. they may not be able to physically fight today, but trust the grudge will be remembered.

the level of PTSD and just general issues within that group must be so intense but because they are emotionally represed. they just. arent allowed to talk about it. someone could be having a full breakdown but u r a member of the northeast and you should just let ur heart break inside and never ever talk about it because it would be Awful and Wrong

however. what u can do. is watch sport together in silence. maybe you'll even say 'good game' at the end by be careful of that one because its basically a confession of ur endless fraternal support, wouldn't want to get too deep would we.

and ur only allowed to talk about ur problems through jokes. haha yeah i still see faces of war in my sleep. haha yeah i cant cope w the guilt anymore. hehe.

so to answer your ultimate question, the most pain you can experience is not even your own, but that of ur brother when he drowns and you are not allowed to save him. but anyway.

[lastoneout]

Y'all I am so fucking tired of the like, privatization of healthcare and also the way medicaid works. I've been trying to get this blood work done that I need before my surgery next month and there are apparently only two types of clinics I can go to, SonoraQuest, which has reasonable hours and is open on Saturdays, or LabCorp which is only open on weekdays and closes at 3pm.

Turns out I actually can't go to SonoraQuest because they don't take Medicaid, something I found out after going there and sitting in the lobby for an hour. I have to go to LabCorp.

The problem with LabCorp is that my fiancé works until 3:30pm and he's having a very busy week and thus hasn't been able to leave early to take me. I can't take public transit because I'm disabled and don't have a wheelchair yet and going on foot or with my rollator would ruin my ability to do anything for the rest of the day and possibly the next couple of days too. I can't take a lyft or Uber because my fiancé is the sole breadwinner for our household(I can't work) and right now his shit idiot credit union is straight up breaking the law and repeatedly flagging his cards for *possible* fraud despite there being no fraud, and he's gone through like 5 debit cards in the last two months over this(he's gone in to complain about all the ways this is fucking him over big time and they told him there's literally nothing they can do). He's moving his money to a new credit union atm but that takes time, so he legit cannot access his money and thus he can't give me any to pay for the ride. (The bus also costs money I don't have so that's another reason I can't take it.)

I decided this is all horseshit and called the hospital my surgery will be at and asked if there is somewhere else I can go because this isn't working, and the lady told me I can just go to the hospital for it and that they're open until 7pm. So I went there yesterday, only to find out that the people who do the blood work at the hospital is fucking SonoraQuest and they close at 4pm.

LabCorp does have a service where they'll send a mobile team to your house to collect the blood, but it costs $35 which again. We cannot access my fiancé's money atm. Also that's more than a lyft would cost so even if I had access to money I would prefer to go there myself.

So I am hoping my fiancé will be able to get off work early today so we can go down to LabCorp when they're open and hopefully they won't tell me I need an appointment or that coming in like an hour before they close isn't allowed.

Anyway call me a boomer but there is no fucking world in which I shouldn't be able to just go to my fucking neurosurgeon's office and have a nurse take my blood. Like I should just be able to do that. Or just walk into the hospital which overall does take my insurance and have one of the like 100s of nurses take my goddamn blood. This used to be how this shit worked. Why the fuck have we outsourced this to for profit clinics that suck ass, forcing me to try to move heaven and earth to get myself to a clinic with insanely unreasonable hours, stressing me the fuck out. Also why does having Medicaid mean I have to go to the worse clinic like this always happens, the clinics that take Medicaid are always garbage compared to the ones that don't it's such crap that the poor folks have to put up with sub-par medical services just bcs we're poor.

Anyway I'm going to go scream into a pillow for a while and hope to god I'm able to get this out of the way today bcs if not I'm probably just gonna have to call the neurosurgeon and let them know I might not be able to do the blood work because unfortunately it's fucking impossible.

[thieves-in-the-palace]

jumps into ur ask box hello. hi. what are ur ng+ time loop thoughtz

god i have. a lot of thoughts about ng+ time loops in general. in relation to this post tho i specifically have Some Thoughts about Akira going through the loops trying to figure out why he's stuck there, how to get out, etc and also having to contend with Akechi dying every time but also like…the inevitable emotional cycles that come with watching the same guy die over and over.

✧ "Who is more unlucky here? The one who will die every time but never remember? Or the one who will live every time and always remember?" –> "Me. I'm the more unlucky one. What's this dude's fucking problem" –> "What's MY fucking problem? Why does this keep happening to me? Why doesn't anyone else remember? Why can't I escape this? Why does Akechi have to die every time??" –> "What's this dude's FUCKING problem–"

✧ does it count as a parasocial relationship if you know the guy irl and also it's based on the weird sense of kinship that comes with being doomed to repeatedly live through the same year over and over while he's doomed to die every time. hand in hand they are BOTH doomed baybee

✧ You know how Akechi is often portrayed as having Death Note-esque internal monologues when interacting with Akira? That but Akira is having his own wildly different internal monologue that sounds a lot like "okay you shit idiot. what's it gonna take to keep you from dying"

✧ The rest of the Thieves are surprised when Akira doesn't seem to react to Akechi's death, but they figure he's trying to keep it together for the sake of the mission. Truly tho Akira is mentally cussing Akechi out and lamenting the fact they're gonna have to fight god again soon. rip lawboy you would've loved fighting ol' yaldy

✧ Futaba hacks Akira's phone (for enrichment) and sees his most recent google search "is it bad to stop feeling bad after the 15th time you watch the same person die or are you allowed to start getting annoyed about it" – maybe he's going through something similar to what she went through w/ her mom? She starts prodding him about his past, but it doesn't really get her anywhere…

(If u want to get even more into Game-Based Reality Nonsense u could even say that Futaba can't find anything on Akira aside from his criminal record. No hospital records, no school info, no nothing. It's like the guy didn't even exist before the day he got arrested. Akira might not have any answers either, which, u know, doesn't help with the mental strain caused by being stuck in a time loop. Does he even exist outside of the loop? If the loop ended, would he disappear with it? etc etc)

✧ At the beginning of each loop, Akira makes a list of things that might break the time loop, updating it as needed. "Akechi survives" is at the top of the list every time bc it's one of the only things that never happens.

✧ Akira just generally having a slightly shorter temper w/ Akechi bc truly. How do u go through this sort of ordeal w/o wanting to rattle him like a maraca after a point. He won't hesitate to call Akechi cringe when the guy leans too heavily on his Pleasant Lawboy™ persona.

They wind up sparring in Mementos more frequently bc this Akira is more willing to entertain Akechi's bloodlust; fighting is a good outlet for Akira's own frustrations. Akechi keeps getting more and more annoyed each time tho bc why tf can this attic trash keep up with him? How is he predicting Akechi's attacks so well? (Akechi's going to start spitting fire if he ever finds out Akira has been holding back during their fights lmao. Akira can easily trounce him in 1v1 since like…3 loops ago?)

✧ Akira spending so much time annoyed and even furious w/ Akechi for not having enough self-preservation to survive even one loop only to ultimately circle right back into The Guilt + Sorrow bc god, all this time and he still can't figure out how to keep this fuckhead alive?

And it IS guilt Akira feels, unfortunately. Makoto and Futaba were both antagonistic towards the Phantom Thieves at first, too. Just spending some time with them was enough to reveal how getting screwed over by adults guided their actions; it doesn't absolve them of threatening the group, but it makes them easier to forgive.

Akira wonders, sometimes, if he's too quick to forgive Akechi. He's killed people, and he claims to be perfectly okay with being a murderer so long as it means he can reach his goals. But Akechi is a liar all the way down, too, because a cold-hearted killer wouldn't sacrifice himself for his enemies. He wouldn't give up his only shot at vengeance so easily after going through years of hell to achieve it. Yet Akechi still dies in that boiler room every time. Akechi never truly hates Akira, and Akira can't quite bring himself to ever truly hate Akechi, either.

But then Akira sees Akechi alive and well and smiling for the camera in the next loop, and he gets the abrupt urge to lay the guy out.

✧ "I want you to live. I also never want to see you again."

✧ And all of this is w/o getting into P5R's third semester hijinks. Akira thinking he's finally escaped the time loop only to realize that something Worse is happening now.

And Akechi is still there, because of fucking course he is–