#they're just me trying to figure stuff out and get feedback on my thoughts

[moghedien]

like I wanna be clear, I never really wanna talk people out of not liking the show or whatever. like sure I want people to enjoy it but also if you don't like it in general or don't like certain plot points or changes, I am not posting to try to talk you out of that. I'm posting because I'm a brainrotted girl with lifelong OCD who literally has a brain wired to obsess over things and its healthier for me to obsess over things I like

I mean, I'm gonna point out takes that I don't think make sense (like "oh but Lanfear would have just Traveled to get Rand" literally makes no sense for instance and I'm gonna point stuff like that out) but like I don't really wanna talk people into the show unless they like actually want me to. if you come on my posts or send me an ask and question my opinions/theories/takes, I'll talk about them with you happily, but I have no interest in really commenting on people's stuff to try to argue with them into liking things or agreeing with me and that's never really my intent. there are valid complaints and all that and its better to see those then like mindless hate from bookcloak types. complaints in and of themselves should not be dismissed on the nature of being a complaint

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Dirty Work 20

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as bullying, familial discord/abuse, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You start a new gig and find one of your clients to be hard to please.

Characters: Loki

Note: weekends aren't for rest, they're for being sick and anxious so Monday will be a treat.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

As you enter, you try your best not to make too much noise. You set the bags down lightly and ease the inner door shut. You can hear your dad and the soft sound of puzzle pieces meeting the table.

“Ya know, thirty years almost, but I can see her just like yesterday,” he says.

Your heart clutches. You never heard him talk about your mom. When you were a kid and didn’t know better, he just ignored all your questions about her. When you got older, you stopped asking. You figured it’s easier for both of you to pretend she never was.

“I’m sorry, hon,” Leslie comforts, “you know, in my line of work, I’ve seen it over and over. It’s a wound you can’t heal.”

“Oh yeah,” he grits, “yeah, I’d say…”

You swallow and lean back on your foot, crinkling the bags behind you. You cringe as you hear sudden movement. You turn and work to slip off the white loafers. You pretend like you weren’t listening as Leslie’s shadow looms from the archway.

“You’re home,” she proclaims, “we didn’t think you’d be so early.”

“Me either,” you say as you face her. 

Her lashes flick and her mouth opens, “oh my, you look so good! Weren’t you working today?”

“Uh, did some work,” you lie, “I got a few hours off so I… did some running around.”

“Oh, gosh, come on, you have to show your dad,” she takes you by the wrist and tugs you around, “Charles, look at your girl.”

She presents you with her hands on your shoulders. You can’t even look at your dad as the couch creaks and he grunts at your appearance. He snorts and pushes another piece into the puzzle.

“What am I looking at?” He sneers.

“Charles, don’t be like that. Look at her hair, and this dress,” she touches your hips, “must be a nice job, huh?”

“It’s alright,” you shimmy out of her grasp, “I just… needed something more presentable–”

“Something shorter,” your father scoffs, “so when she’s bending to tidy the floors you can see right up.”

“Charles, that’s gross,” Leslie reprimands.

“Truth can be like that,” he snickers, “think some man’s buying her fancy clothes so she can sweep? We both know how she pays for you.”

“No… it’s not…” you shrug and give up, “I’m gonna put my stuff away and start dinner. If you want, you can head off early too.”

“Oh, I don’t mind sticking around,” Leslie says as she once more sits beside your dad, “let me know if you need any help with dinner. Don’t wanna get anything on that nice little dress.”

You nod and hesitate. You can’t tell what she means by that. For as much as she can call out your father, she often speaks with an edge of her own. Just like the cigarettes, she must assume his insults are your fault.

You leave the room and grab the bags. You carry them up the stairs to your room. You shut the door and sit on the end of the bed. You bend and cradle your head, trying to set it straight after the dizzying day.

👠

The bus provides a momentary break from your hostile world. There is no safe place for you. Home is barely that and work is… confusing. Your only escape is to focus on your tasks and get through them. Get through Mr. Laufeyson’s list then come home and the chores left untouched. 

Your look at the time on your phone and black the screen. You get a glimpse of your reflection off the glass as you do. You didn't do too bad with the makeup. It looks okay. You tried not to use too much as you recalled Eliana's instructions.

You shake off your doubts and airy feeling around your legs. You're not use to the skirt or the pretty fabrics. You feel overdressed and out-of-place, but the latter is so new to you.

Through the gate and along the edge of the drive, you hear your name flutter in the air. You stop short as you see Frigga strolling along the hedges, caressing the petals of a rose. She draws away and strides towards you, an ivory skirt paired with a golden brown blouse and nude heels.

“You do start early, don’t you?” She approaches and takes your hand, “come, let’s have tea.”

“Oh, uh, I…” you let her tug you along the walkway towards the front door, “the carpenter is coming today–”

“Ah yes, Loki mentioned you were working on restoring the gazebo. That’s lovely. We used to have tea there, me and… his wife. She was a laugh.”

“Mm,” you hum. Whoever this woman was, she must’ve been very special. You imagine a beautiful woman with silky hair and long legs like Frigga. She must’ve fit right in.

“I suppose if it was meant to be, it would be. I only hope my son can find happiness again,” she squeezes your hand before she lets you go. 

She opens the door and waves you in ahead of her. You slip out of your flats much easier than your usual lace-up sneakers. She steps out of her heels and sighs.

“That’s his problem, you know? He’s lonely but too proud to admit it,” she sidles around you and leads you down to the kitchen. You follow and watch as she goes to the counter and pours from the waiting teapot. “Though I haven’t seen him today. I suppose he’s sleeping in, it is the weekend.”

You tilt your head but don’t comment. For as long as you’ve worked for him, not very long at all, he’s never slept past your arrival. Well, not so far as you know.

“I do love this skirt,” she comes back around the counter and touches the tweed, “wonderful pairing,” she touches the blouse with the petal shaped cutouts around the high-collar, “you’re learning.”

“Um, yeah, all the clothes are so pretty,” you say.

“Please, have your tea. I’m sure you have time before the carpenter,” she urges.

“Right, er, I’ll just take my bag upstairs first,” you say, “out of the way.”

“Sure,” she accepts with a kind smile, “how about I take this out to the patio, we can enjoy the sun?”

“Alright,” you agree and hike up your bag, “thank you.”

You quickly flit off and head upstairs. You weren’t expecting her to be there. You just hadn’t thought of it. You only dreaded facing your unbendable boss and his persistent stare.

You go into the library and tuck your bag under the writing desk. You double check the schedule in your phone; Ronan, 10. You have an hour before he arrives.

Your mind is already on the gazebo as you scurry back into the hall. As you shut the door gently, you hear a groan. You peer down towards the unusual noise and blink at the slightly ajar door. The main bedroom. Mr. Laufeyson’s. It rises again before a drawn out exhale, his timbre rumbling low.

You quickly set back to your path and flee downstairs. Maybe he’s talking in his sleep, or more likely, stretching out a few kinks. Your curiosity quickly dissipates as you pass through the dining room and out into the patio.

Frigga sits with large pointed sunglasses over her eyes. She tilts her face up to the sunlight as you sit before the other cup of tea. You pull it close and look out at the yard. A streak of green catches your gaze.

You watch the hummingbird hover over fuchsia petals. You stare dreamily, lulled by the peace of the moment as Frigga merely sips and basks. This isn’t so bad. The bird zips between flowers before disappearing behind a tree. In his stead, the skittish chipmunk scrambles along the railing of the patio. You smile at his fluffy tail.

“I’ll be off tomorrow,” Frigga states, “my husband will be expecting me. Oh, but I’ll miss you, darling.”

“Is it very far?” You wonder.

“Four or five hours,” she answers, “not very far but enough. It’s so lovely up where we are. I wish you could see. Perhaps one day. When things are better.”

Before you can answer, there’s a subtle click behind you.

“Morning,” Mr. Laufeyson’s voice is unleashed onto the scene as the patio door swings inward, “mother,” he pauses before he enunciates your name, “beautiful day out.”

Your shoulders stiffen and nearly touch your ears as you sit straight. He pulls out the chair at your other elbow and sets down another teacup with a clink. He sits and smooths back his dark hair, tucking the spiralled ends behind his ears.

“Late morning,” his mother remarks, “any tea left?”

“Some, shall I–”

He puts his hands flat, moving to stand but she shoos him as she’s quicker to rise, “I’ll get it myself. And you darling,” she dips her chin in your direction, “more?”

“Oh, no thanks, I’m still… working on mine. Thank you, Frigga,” you say, mindful of each syllable.

She leaves and the door clicks shut behind her. You stare at the brim of your cup, turning it slowly between your hands as Laufeyson raises his own to his lips. He drinks carefully before putting it down again.

He’s quiet. He shifts and plants an elbow on the table. He turns his attention to the yard and watches. You dare to look up as well, the chipmunk poking his head out from the bush where he hides. He ran away at Mr. Laufeyson’s arrival.

“Cute little fellow,” he remarks as he faces you again. You quickly lower your eyes.

“Uh, yeah…”

“Mmm,” he drones and taps his fingers on the porcelain teacup, “you… that’s a nice shirt.”

“Thanks,” you lift your cup and drain most of it, gulping painfully as you put it back down, “I should go start. Ronan will be here shortly–”

“The carpenter?”

“Yes, Mr. Laufeyson, I have him penned in–” You explain.

“And? He is a carpenter, he knows what he’s doing. I doubt he needs you watching over his shoulder.”

“I know, uh, but I should be there to let him in,” you slide your cup off the table.

“You’re not even done your tea.”

“I’ll finish on my way in–”

“You’re avoiding me,” he accused and you wince.

“What?”

“You’re running away? Why?” He challenges.

“I’m not, I– I have work to do.”

“Work I give you. I’m your boss, you may sit and finish. I’ll permit it.”

You falter and set the cup on the table. You lower yourself back to the seat and fold your hands. You look at your lap and push your shoulders back. He is back to his haughty demands, you find that part of him easier to handle.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Laufeyson, I wasn't running away.”

He scoffs thinly and his nostrils flare as he stares off at the hedges that edge the patio, “I wonder why you can be so quick to flee me when you sat and let my brother feel you up.”

“Huh?” You blanch, stuck by the accusation. “Mr. Laufeyson, I–”

“I know him well and I’m not as blind as my mother. I saw it. You didn’t say a word. You just let him do it,” he clucks, “why?”

Your eyes round and you bat your lashes. You nearly choke, the acidic flavour of the tea drying on your tongue. Was it that bad? You tried not to think about it, to let it affect you, even as the memories flashed in your head, you just tried not to feel anything about it.

“I didn’t… well… he’s your brother, Mr. Laufeyson, I didn’t want to assume… to offend–” you stammer.

“So you let him do what he wants?” He snarlss as he turns his sights on you, a brow arch tritely. “You do not work for him, you work for me.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do,” you sputter, confused by his anger. “I tried to…”

Your voice trails off. No, you didn’t try. You were too afraid too. He’s right, you let Thor keep touching you and you didn’t say anything, you didn’t move, you just froze up.

“It makes me wonder,” he cups his chin, leaning on his elbow, “how far would you let him get, hm?”

“Mr. Laufeyson,” you whimper, “I’m sorry–”

“Did you like how he touched you?”

“N-no, Mr. Laufeyson, no, of course not,” you plead.

“You do not want him to touch you?” He prompts.

“No, I… didn’t know how to say—”

“Shhh,” he hushes you, lifting his chin from his hand and pressing his finger to his lips. He pulls his hand away to point at you, “I’ve a better question…” He reaches towards you and you flinch. You quiver as he traces the cutout along the top of your blouse, “how far would you let me go?”

You squirm as he hooks his finger inside the teardrop window in the fabric. His fingertip brushes you as he gives a slight tug, looming closer as he draws you towards him. He smirks as you stare dumbfounded. What is he doing?

“My brother will not touch you again,” his voice is low and rocky, “I will make sure of it.” He tickles you slightly and rescinds his hand, “and you will make sure to remember who you belong to.”

He sits back and hooks his fingers in the handle of the porcelain mug. As if on cue, the french doors open behind you and Frigga trills as she emerges, “oh, just enough tea,” she announces, “I added a dash of honey this time.”

She places the cup by her empty chair but does not sit. She twirls and paces around the patio, going to the flower boxes along the rail. She leans in to examine them.

“Perhaps the carpenter could have a look here, it’s crooked,” she declares. “And I dare say the guest room has a loose floorboard right near the bed.”

“Mm, perhaps, mother,” Laufeyson drawls as he once more raises his cup, his eyes stuck on you, “my house manager will be sure to ask, won’t she?”

“Yes, Mr. Laufeyson,” you wisp out through your constricted throat, barely registering his command. 

You can only hear his previous words echoing, over and over; remember who you belong to. Belong to… No, you only work for him.

[goldfades]

𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡. | delicate au, jack hughes

౨ৎ ─ summary | this takes place in late august of 2023, a little before the njd season started. jack hughes dm's the girl the whole internet thinks he's dating and invites her to a pre-season get-together at his house.

─ word count | 1.9k

─ warnings | anxiety, some flirting? nothing else!

─ taglist | @dancerbailey3 @valluvsu @daisysnhl @dasiysthings @iminlovewithtz11 @literatureluster @lvrzegras @lxvleyzoe @bowen-power @ru-kru @jackhughesily @hearts-for-luke

─ ev's notes | please lmk ur thoughts on this au so far! i, of course, always read ur guys feedback so anything would be very much appreciated.

Accept message request from jhughes (jackhughes)?

jhughes: have you seen twitter? we're trending 🤣 jhughes: looks like i'm your bf now 🤷🏻🤷🏻

libbytf: yeah um i don't even know how that happened😭 libbytf: they're crazy, that's not either of us?

jhughes: it does really look like us though haha 🤣 i don't blame them

libbytf: the more i look the photos the more i disagree lol, i hope they figure it out on their own 😭

jhughes: haha yeah [seen]

jhughes: me and luke are having a pre season party, you should come if ur free jhughes: oh and if leon wants you to hahaha😭

libbytf: when is it? i'll see if i can come and if i'm in town

jhughes: next saturday at our new place

libbytf: i'll let you know!

jhughes: k lmk ( 👍🏻 )

Libby stared down at her screen, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Did she just get asked out?

She received the message later that day and she was surprised that Jack Hughes had messaged her. She wasn't starstruck or anything but he didn't seem like the "dm" type, he looked more like the type to approach you in public.

She shook her head, she didn't even know if he was hitting on her. He probably wasn't even trying to come off that way, he probably just needed more people at his party. And the truth was, after the whole "Josh" thing, she didn't really have anything to do because everyone in the world was seemingly against her. The messy breakup with Josh had left her feeling exposed, as if every aspect of her personal life was now fair game for public scrutiny.

She had been under the spotlight for years now, long before she had even considered the idea of being a singer. Her sister and father were already apart of the "Hollywood" circle, she has seen this kind of stuff before. She's never been apart of the gossip, though - this was the first time she'd been in the spotlight for a bad reason.

Growing up in the shadow of her sister's and father's fame had accustomed her to the entertainment industry and all the drama that came with it. But now, as the fallout from her breakup with Josh engulfed her, Libby found herself thrust into uncharted territory. The barrage of rumors and gossip had stripped away the layers of privacy she had worked so hard to preserve, leaving her feeling vulnerable.

Libby couldn't even turn to her music anymore, she felt like it was no use because the whole internet (and their moms) hated her for no reason other than her relationship, or lack thereof.

She was pulled out of her thoughts as she felt her phone buzz on her bed. She reached for it lazily and opened it, reading the message.

leon 😛 are you down for something this weekend?

Libby typed out a quick response.

libs 🥸 depends

leon 😛 me and some of the team are gonna have a party this weekend to celebrate the start of the season, they told me to bring someone and ur all i have

leon 😛 unless u say no i'll ask someone else

libs 🥸 jack already asked me so sure :)

leon 😛 wait so ur his plus one?

libs 🥸 no bc he's the literal host, he just invited me😭😭

leon 😛 thats weird but okay, can u still be my plus one

libs 🥸 idk if that'll change anything but sure!!

She sighed at her brother's slight stupidity. It sounds like she was going to be going to the party this weekend. As she agreed, Libby couldn't help but feel a twinge of anxiety about attending Jack's party. The thought of facing a bunch of strangers, each with their own preconceived notions about who she was, made her stomach churn.

Before she could turn off her phone, her phone buzzed and she looked at the notification.

jhughes (jackhughes) started following you!

──

"Have you been on Twitter?" Leon spoke up as he drove, his eyes glancing toward Libby before focusing back on the road.

She shrugged, "Yeah. Why?"

"Everyone thinks you're dating Jack, it's kinda funny. Isn't this like, your first time meeting him?" Leon replied with a small laugh, shaking his head.

"It's pretty dumb, isn't it?" Libby replied, her voice tinged with amusement. "Well this is like my second or third time meeting him so it's not like we're strangers but still, we're far from strangers."

"Are you sure about that? He messaged you." Leon joked as he smirked at you as you rolled your eyes. She knew he was joking but a part of her thought that maybe he was flirting with her. But Libby could not even mention that to Leon because it'll make him go crazy, staying quiet was the better option.

"Shut up," Libby mumbled as Leon laughed. "The pictures aren't even us, you know?"

"The guy looks a lot like Jack but not you. It's so funny especially because everyone swears that they know you so well but they can't even tell the difference you and some other person." Leon grinned, clearly enjoying the absurdity of the situation. "Well, I guess the internet just loves drama. Can't blame them for trying to spice things up, it is fun."

"I just hope people figure it out soon," Libby sighed, glancing out of the car window at the passing city lights. "I mean, it's not like I need more rumors right now."

Leon shrugged. "Yeah, I get it. But you know what they say, any publicity is good publicity."

"Yeah at least I'll know my new album will get tons of new streams, thanks to Josh's fangirls."

"You mean dickriders? Jesus, have you seen the comments?" Leon scoffed, making a turn to Jack and Luke's home.

Libby sighed, her shoulders slumping as she leaned back against the car seat. "Yeah, I've seen them. It's like they're just waiting for the opportunity to tear me apart completely, I can't even go on Instagram anymore."

Leon's expression softened with empathy as he reached out to place a comforting hand on Libby's arm. "They're just fucking bored, that's all. They have to tear someone down to feel better. Don't let them get to you."

Libby nodded, grateful for her brother's words of encouragement. "I know, it's just hard sometimes, you know? Feels like I'm constantly under a microscope."

Leon nodded in understanding, his gaze unwavering in its support. "Yeah, I get it. But remember, those comments don't define you. You're so much more than what people say about you."

Libby managed a small smile as they reached Jack's home. The night air was crisp as Libby and Leon made their way towards Jack's home. The distant noise from the party spilled into the quiet neighborhood as they walked towards the entrance.

The home was pretty big but you weren't surprised, they were really good and popular hockey players so of course they had a big home. However, as you walked into their porch, you noticed how clean it was. Not many boys in their twenties kept their homes so clean and organized but Libby was pleasantly surprised at how clean their home was and she hadn't even been inside yet.

Leon gave the door a few knocks before the door opened to reveal Jack, a big grin on his face and a backwards cap on his head. "Leon! You made it!"

"Yeah, and I brought Libs!" Leon grinned back at Jack as his gaze finally fell on Libby, she felt his eyes scan her body before they landed on her eyes once again.

Libby felt a slight flush rise to her cheeks as she met Jack's gaze. His warm smile putting her at ease as she returned it, trying to ignore the flutter of nerves in her stomach.

"Awesome! Come on in, guys." Jack ushered them inside, the sounds of the party becoming more pronounced as they stepped inside.

"There's some chips in the kitchen and you guys can just help yourself to the drinks inside the fridge, just don't drink any of our protein smoothies." Jack side glanced to Leon playfully, in which he responded with a quick fine. "Everyone's in the living room playing pool."

"I'm gonna go get a beer, if y'all don't mind." Leon called out as he headed towards the kitchen, leaving Libby and Jack by the entrance.

As Leon left, Libby shifted her gaze to Jack with a warm smile. There was a brief awkward silence before Jack broke it, "I didn't know that you lived in Jersey."

"Well I don't but ever since Leon's moved here I've been spending every second at his place. I actually live in New York City but it gets a little hectic, I need a break sometimes from... everything." Libby explained as she recalled all the drama from the summer, from everything with Olivia to Josh, it was eventful.

Jack nodded, his expression sympathetic as he listened to Libby's explanation. "I get it. New York can be intense, especially with everything going on."

Libby sighed, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders as she spoke about the challenges she faced. "Yeah, it's been a lot to deal with lately. Sometimes, it's nice to escape to somewhere quieter, you know?"

Jack's gaze softened with understanding. "I get it. I'm sorry by the way, with the whole uh... thing." Jack didn't really want to specify but they both knew as Libby nodded.

Libby gave him a sweet smile but before she could respond, Luke came in wearing a Devils jersey. "Dude I've been looking everywhere for you, there's something wrong with the-" He cut himself as he noticed Libby.

"Hey Luke." Libby greeted the tall curly-head with a grin as he walked over to where Libby was and gave her a side hug as Jack observed.

"Libby! I haven't seen you in a while, how's everything?" Luke asked casually as he pulled back.

"Can't complain." You spoke with a small grin as you looked in between the boys. "You?"

"Very excited for the new season, I don't know if you could tell." Luke chuckled as he looked down at the jersey.

Libby couldn't help but chuckle at Luke's enthusiasm. Even though she's never formally met Jack, her and Luke have a pretty good friendship through Leon. As soon as they met they clicked and now they're practically tied at the hip. "Hmm... I couldn't tell. Go Rangers, right?"

"Hey, hey, hey!"

"Whoa, don't you dare step foot in our homes and disrespect us like that. That is a like a slur around here." Jack shook his head playfully as him and Luke exchanged looks before all three of you busted out laughing.

"Sorry, sorry won't happen again!"

"It better not or we're gonna have to kick you out." Luke threatened with a mock-serious expression. "But seriously Jack, the TV isn't working and everyone wants to play Fifa for some reason."

Jack shrugged as he motioned to Libby towards the living room, "I don't even know if we own Fifa..."

They all entered the spacious living room where everyone was. There were some teammates who she recognized and some people she'd never seen before. Jack and Luke ventured off toward the TV, leaving Libby to go stand by the couch. She'd enjoyed the night so far but as she stood there, anxiety began to creep into her stomach.

Everyone here knew somebody and right now the only people she was close with was her brother, Luke and Jack and they were all playing Fifa right now.

"Libs, get a controller we need one more player!" Jack shouted from the coach and waved at her to come over. Libby hesitated for a moment, feeling a familiar pang of anxiety at the thought of joining a group of people she didn't know well. But as she stared back at Jack, she swallowed all her fears and walked over, taking a controller.

As she settled in next to them, Libby felt a sense of normalcy wash over her. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she could just be herself, without the weight of everyone's expectations or the glare of being perceived.

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[puzzled-pegasus]

Some Leo and Piper thoughts because I have no outlet for my feelings abt them

These guys are platonically soulmates and I love them dearly

I love the idea of them doing karaoke of or screaming along to pop songs together and especially doing silly duets

Additionly Leo being impressed by Piper's voice every single time she sings bc she has a lovely awesome voice

Im gonna make an au wherein they are fwb for my own mental health lol I just think that would be sweet as heck (maybe also poly with jason idk. or mybe thats even another au xD)

In general though they are usually just bffs

Leo likes to always show Piper things he's working on or asks her what he should make when he's bored lol

Piper also sometimes asks Leo if she looks okay and Leos always like why tf are you asking me I have no sense of style whatsoever lmao

Piper is Leo's main source of snuggles most of the time and she also lets him play with her hair and braid it when he needs a stim or when theyre just chillin

They also write and draw on each others skin w marker wjen they're bored and a lot of times they'll just have their arms covered in random misspelled words in the others handwriting lmao

Leo likes cooking and Piper likes baking and they both try each ofhers stuff that they make and gibe good feedback

Piper is a couple of inches taller than Leo forever >:3

piper has really cold hands and leo has really warm hands in general

Whenever they need to vent they generally go to each other and be frustrated togetehr about annoying bullshit that goes on lol

they also hype each ofher up a lot

both being hyperactive adhd kiddos a lot of their conversations consist of them excitedly interrupting each other lmao

Leo likes to infodump about technical and math stuff or theoretical stuff or really anything that he likes a lot and Piper doesn't get most of it but she loves seeing him excited so sje asks all the questions hehe

Conversely, Piper likes to tell life stories in great detail when she's deep in conversation and Leo gets invested because really she's a pretty great storyteller but also bc he loves her

i think it would be cute if they made jewelry for each other

They like to banter and also fake flirt (and real flirt sometimes, depending lmao)

at some point really soon adter they met Leo was like hey what color are ur eyes and Piper was like actually i have no idea loll and then he just stared st her eyes trying to figure it out for several minutes and idk that image is just cute

piper also does that mom thing where if there's schmutz on Leos face she has to clean it off with anything she can find or sometimes her thumb lol, jason does that same thing and Leo's an easy target cus he gets dirty a lot lmao

Piper sings to Leo to calm them both down in the evening sometimes, not sure what songs she normally sings but they're like calm songs yk or maybe she just makes something up. Sometimes seh puts his name in the song lol

[dipplinduo]

So, I'm really looking to write a Dipplinshipping series myself and I really love the depth that you go into for S&D Dipplins (and its related spinoffs, I am very up to date).

Do you have any tips for keeping up with/writing longer works? I think my idea may take at least 10 chapters, but I've never been able to finish anything but oneshots before... I admire your consistency with the quality of your work (there has not been a single miss, not a one) and I hope to be able write like you one day.

No pressure to come up with anything if you don't know what to say. Regardless of anything, I hope this message reaches you well and that you have a fantastic day!

Omg I love writing talk asks and I'm so touched that you thought to ask me this question!

I'm gonna share stuff I found helpful to keep in mind:

- Take your time with storytelling. The advantage of having more chapters is that you can reallllyyyy enjoy your pacing. One way I do this is through gradual hints and breadcrumbs that build to the major plot points. It's a fun way to develop your story over time while keeping readers interested and theorizing. And when you're not focusing on the main plot, you can focus on other aspects of the story.

- Outlines and general note pages for your fic as a whole are your best friends. They will do the work of keeping track of different story elements for you.

- Listen to your readers. Their feedback is invaluable. If you get a lot of comments about something people seem to be enjoying, this may suggest that it's part of the voice of your fic. It can help you figure out what you'd want to emphasize more down the line - whether it be through side stories or through the main plot.

- Switch up some dynamics overtime. If you find yourself feeling stuck because you feel like you're trying to write similar kinds of moments, thoughts, or dialogues, this is a sign that it's time for you to move on and shake things up. I've done this with Kieran & Juliana in S&S D after I felt I have described Kieran seeing Juliana as a witch (who he has a hard time resisting lmao) so many times.

- Flush out the roles of supporting characters. They don't need their own character arcs, and they don't need to be focal points of the story. But they can influence some events, and it can help with the movement of your fic. (E.g. I often use Drayton to instigate moments one way or another, and this suits his character given that hes relatively chaotic neutral).

- Focus on the quality of telling your story first and foremost; you do not need the permission of certain chapter "markers" to progress. You don't need to wait for Chapter 10 or 15 or whatever to have a big moment happen. If everything is set up and ready to go, just do it. This is why a big moment of S&S D happens in Chapter 9 rather than Chapter 10; there was enough in place and I felt dragging it out would've diminished the moment. No one's really gonna care that much about how things line up to a chapter number. They're gonna be happy they got a big moment, and if anything, your ability to break this norm can keep readers on their toes.

- On the opposing ends of things, know when you have enough in a chapter to stop even if you know where you're going next. If you flushed out descriptions of someone's feelings or some scenery or whatever, and you feel you have enough? It's okay to stop writing and publish. Giving yourself more time to soak on ideas can improve the way you're going to pick up where you left off. I personally don't have a hard rule around this, but I tend to cut things off at the 15-20 page mark for a chapter of S&S D.

- If you feel like you're writing a filler chapter, think of ways it can build to your overarching story. You really don't need filler chapters if you think about it - even if you want to delay going somewhere specific. So if your work could be summed up when completed, what would you want someone to say? Think of ways you can slip in gradual storytelling from multiple angles - whether it be through plot or through some of the lighter moments (that may build to the heart of the fic like found family or dorm life or whatever). This can help breathe life into any chapter update.

- Remember that by taking your time, you're actually developing the voice of your writing and of the story. My original conception of S&S D and where it's at now are wildly different, and that's because there's no rushed time table. That goes for the storyline, the characters, the plot points - everything. LMAOOO, even the beach episode content is going to be very different because I gave myself permission to delay it until I figured out the exact roles I want Paldean Squad to play! It was a better decision that will lead to better characterization (even though I'm nonetheless very grateful for people's patience).

- Write on your timetable, not anyone else's. I occasionally put due dates on myself to get me going (e.g. by teasing a chapter update), but I never promise that I'll have chapters out on a weekly basis or whatnot for anything I write - S&S D related or not. This is deliberate. Life happens and the last thing you need is to write for the sake of writing and nothing else. I feel it's the easiest way to kill your passion if it becomes stressful for you.

- Lean into what inspires you. I find a LOT of motivation through comments, reactions, asks, fanart, etc., so I make it a point to respond to every comment on AO3 and engage continuously with the community on here and whatnot. I've also been loosely inspired by art pieces that have nothing to do with my work. This is just what works for me, though. Sometimes you might be inspired by other media, or maybe by things that you've seen or experienced in your own life. Whatever it is, draw from it.

Hmmm that's what comes to mind for now. Happy to give more later if they come up, & hope this helps! Best of luck with writing YOU GOT THISSSSS 🤗💛

[msmargaretmurry]

any advice on how to not get overwhelmed at the prospect of writing a longer fic? 😭😭 i freak myself out with “ohhh what if i get too far in and then it turns out it sucks” and “i’ll have to do so much research for certain canon compliant things” etc etc

hi anon! i would be happy to share some of the things that work for me! we all know i love to talk incessantly about writing. thank you for giving me an excuse to. ❤

standard writing advice disclaimer that this is indeed all just stuff that works for me personally. it might not work for you, or you might have to tweak it to work for you, because different things work for different people! like all writing advice, it is best approached as suggestions and not as rules, so while i think this is all stuff worth trying, i also think that if you find it doesn't work with how your writing brain works, you should absolutely chuck it out the window.

firstly: get comfortable with the idea that the story is going to evolve as you write it. when you're writing something long, you ARE going to get far into it and realize you fucked something up at the begininning, or realize you left something out, or realize you need to change or cut something from earlier for the story to work. this does NOT mean that you're writing badly! recognizing those things is actually super smart of you! you are not beholden to what you wrote a week ago or a month ago or six months ago in your WIP. you can simply change it to better suit this story that you now know more about. no one will even know that you originally wrote it differently except maybe your alpha reader or pal you've been bouncing ideas off of, and they're legally required* to take that information to their grave. i will touch a little more on editing long fic in a minute, but i really do think this is maybe the most important piece of advice: accept that your story will change as you write, and think of it as a good thing.

(*i am not a lawyer)

writing your long fic is going to take a long time. that's a huge part of what makes it such a nerve-wracking undertaking! writing long fic is dedicating a huge amount of time and energy to a creative project that you have a lot of feelings about, and it can be really hard! but it can also be so rewarding and so worth it to see all that work turn into the story that you really wanted to tell. just the sense of accomplishment of FINISHING a long-term project like that is really cool and gratifying. it's so easy to fall into the trap of thinking "what if i put in all this work and then it sucks" but i think it's helpful to try to reframe that thought as something like "i'm going to put all this work in and learn so much about this story, and figure out how to make it the best that i can make it at this stage in my writing journey."

also, again: your first draft is not going to be perfect. it might be deeply, deeply flawed. you ARE going to have to edit. that doesn't mean you were writing badly. that is a normal and even essential part of writing. your story doesn't suck if the first draft is kinda fucked up. your story is NORMAL if the first draft is kinda fucked up. especially with long fic, getting the story out and then editing holistically to make it all work is really where the magic happens.

(i know there are people who post chapter by chapter while they write instead of writing the whole thing and editing it altogether; i cannot speak to their processes because i cannot write like that 😂)

if you are lucky enough to have a trusted friend or two willing to read as you write, cheerlead, and help you pick through tough spots in the story, i do recommend you take them up on it! because it can take so long to write a long fic, having people who are excited about your story and to provide that gratification can be really helpful. two things to keep in mind here are to make sure your alpha-readers are people you can trust not to flake on you and who will be reliably able to give pretty quick feedback, and to try to resist the urge to call on them to read every single time you write more. i usually go to mine in 5–10k chunks of long fic draft. obviously this isn't a hard and fast rule at all, but i think it a) gives them meatier chunks of story to give me feedback on and b) helps me get and stay comfortable with writing for longer periods without feedback, so i can concentrate more on the story and be less distracted thinking about how other people will react to it.

on the research front: research can be really daunting!! unfortunately i am a nerd who loves research so i usually see it as a fun challenge. but i think there are a couple of things that might help. when you're getting ready to dive into your long fic, make a list of things you're going to need to research, then divide them into things that you NEED to know to write the story (e.g. dates of important games, for pacing reasons) and things that can wait until after you get the first draft down and are editing. like, if you're writing something set in a city you're not familiar with and want to include local details, you don't need to do that research up front. use placeholder tags to fill in during editing — [RESTAURANT] or [STREET NAME] or [DESCRIPTION TO COME AFTER I LOOK AT GOOGLE STREET VIEW] — or just leave yourself a note to come back and add descriptive details later.

also, remember that fic readers are often super willing to let some inaccuracies slide for the sake of a good story, so it's okay if not everything is perfect! you are also allowed to elect to ignore canon when it does not serve you. like, in HAW, i simply said hello we are pretending that matthew re-signed in calgary, that there were no notable roster changes from the previous season, and, on a smaller potatoes level, that brady is still living with timmy and josh. because that's what i wanted for my story (and also because the matthew trade to florida happened when i was already about 70k into the draft and i was like, fuck it, we're doing it anyway 😂). which is all to say that it's okay and even good to find a balance between doing research/committing to accuracy and saying fuck it for the sake of your story.

on the editing front: try to limit the amount of editing you do while you're writing. you can get so caught up in forever tweaking what you've already written that your forward progress completely stagnates. leave most of your line-editing for after you have a draft. if you notice something that you want to change, leave yourself a note and do the actual changing after you have a draft. if you notice thousands of words in that you totally forgot that one character has a dog, leave yourself a note to go add the dog in later, and continue writing as if the dog has been there the whole time. no one will know that the dog in the first half was added in later.

the amount of STUFF that goes into a long fic can feel pretty overwhelming, so i am big on leaving myself notes and making lists when writing long fic. i know i am not going to remember every thought i have, but i know i will TRY TO remember them and will get totally bogged down. leaving a note or making a list de-bogs me so i can come back to that detail when it's time to deal with it. two essenital lists that i keep in my notes app while i'm working on a writing project are:

a list of ongoing subplots, themes, motifs, and/or mini-arcs that i want to make sure i thread evenly throughout the fic. i do not trust myself to remember these without writing them down. this is super helpful especially if i get stuck, because i can go to the list and ask, okay, what is one of these that i haven't revisited in a while, because that should probably happen next. a HAW example of this is quinn as a side character — at least once i looked at my list and was like, oh, quinn hasn't shown up in a while! i should figure out how to do a scene with him next!

a list of things i will want to review and edit for after i finish the draft. if i stop and edit in the moment i lose momentum; if i don't write the thing down, i might forget about it. so i'll just quickly add it to the list and be able to go back to it when it's editing time! a HAW example of this is me writing on this list "make it more clear that matthew is kind of a mama's boy" and eons later paying close attention to that thread in editing and adding a little more of their relationship to the story.

again this is not a hard and fast rule! sometimes i'll run into an issue with my fic and be like, oh no if i don't go back and fix this then i won't be able to figure out how the story needs to go from here. so obviously in those instances i immediately go and edit that thing! i think it takes practice to be able to tell the difference between "edit now" issues and "edit later" issues but i also think that like 90% of the time it's an edit later issue.

also, always keep a dump doc. (instead of deleting stuff from your draft, cut and paste it into a separate document for safekeeping. this makes it easier to kill your darlings since you are not actually killing them but re-homing them, and can come in handy later.)

one last thing i want to touch on is writer's block or getting stuck in the middle of a draft. with shorter stories, you can sometimes get them out in one or two creative bursts and this can be less of an issue (although obviously not NOT an issue. i am not trying to suggest that people writing shorter fic don't deal with this, lmao. the scale is just different.) writing something long is more about sustained creativity over a long stretch of time, and you are going to have highly productive periods and less productive periods because you're a human being who needs to refill their creative well sometimes. when this happens, try not to panic or despair. sometimes you run into a snarl in your story and you really just need to take a few days to ponder and let the solution come to you. however, if you get stuck and you are getting frustrated trying to figure out what comes next, here are a few things that i find helpful:

get outside and go for a walk or a run. listen to music or a podcast or audiobook. let your brain relax.

talk to a (fannish) friend over the phone/videochat or in person about it, over coffee or dinner or something. sometimes talking about it out loud helps process things in a different way than typing.

figure out what the next big plot point you want to get to is, and then look at where your story is now, and think about what needs to happen to get them to that point. does character A need to trust character B more? devise a trust-building scene. does character A need more self-confidence? think about what kind of scene would help them build confidence.

(this might also involve looking at what you've written already and going, oh, i could build that character beat into that scene from last week! and suddenly everything works better.)

go to your dump doc — is there an abandoned snippet or idea in there that's of more use to you now?

look at your list of ongoing themes and subplots! if there's one you haven't touched in the draft for a while, figure out what's going on there!

you might not get it right on the first try and that's fine. there are scenes that i've completely re-written 4–5 times before they felt right enough for me to move forward. that can be frustrating, obviously, but it doesn't mean you're a bad writer! it takes skill to recognize when a scene isn't working!

okay, i think that's all i've got for now. i really do think that the most important thing with writing long fic is to embrace that it's going to be a long-term project, with ups and downs, productive periods and recharging periods. let the story grow and evolve as you write it. you're not going to get everything right on the first try and that's normal. it is actually so fun to be writing a scene in the back half of your story and suddenly realize you can pull the whole plot together way better by adding two sentences into a scene you wrote three months ago. writing a long fic is not like digging a tunnel, all forward progress to get to the light. it's like building a house and then rearranging the furniture and decor inside until it looks and feels the way you want it to.

i hope that some of this was helpful! good luck with your writing!! 💕

[velvet-games]

intro post

I'll probably add more to/change this later; I've just needed an intro post for a while, and this is what I could think of. you should probably remind me to update it if this section is still here after like six months lol.

name/pronouns/age/gay shit~

honestly you can call me whatever, but I probably won't know you're talking about me unless you use vel/velvet.

prefer they/it; any pronouns are fine.

I'm probably non-binary I guess.

I'm an adult.

I basically just identify as queer at this point, but I'm like,, vaguely aroace-spec probably? still figuring it out. I'm actually very happy to talk about it more specifically, but I might have to sit you down for an entire day to explain it lol.

what I do/post~

I mostly post fandom stuff, and my original posts include a lot of art + occasional meta. I'm starting write fic too, so that might be a more regular thing in the future :)

other accounts~

@/velvetygames -- explicit nsfw twitter/x account, not very active

@cornerbytes -- old dragon prince account that I will probably revisit when the new season comes out

@/velvet_games -- ao3 account

nsfw~

I post occasional nsfw here (never super explicit; that's saved for my twitter); it'll be tagged #nsft.

fandoms~

current fandom: hazbin hotel

previous fandoms:

hannibal (will always have a very special place in my heart)

arcane (will revisit when the new season comes out)

ofmd (literally so happy this exists; devastated it's not getting a new season)

the dragon prince (will probably revisit when the new season comes out)

good omens

lotr (I also read like 2/3 of the hobbit and will hopefully finish it this summer lmao)

things in media that make me go insane (in a good way)~

friendship

happy endings

cannibalism

(WELL-WRITTEN) romance (THAT RESPECTS THE CHARACTERS AS INDIVIDUALS AS WELL AS WHO THEY ARE IN RELATION TO OTHERS)

surrealism

good visuals (even if everything else is shit; extra points if it's animation)

angst

fake-hating

this one's weird but I love situations where a character is really helpless; I thought I liked whump because I can be borderline sadistic about it sometimes, but whump is really not necessary at all to this concept

religious stuff, mythology, angels specifically for some reason (especially when they're terrifying and/or fallen)

gay people

requests~

you are welcome to send in ideas through comments, DMs, asks, etc., but I can't guarantee I'll draw them. if I don't, it doesn't mean that I don't like your idea; I'm probably just busy or have too many brainworms about a specific thing to draw anything but what's on my mind.

notes~

I randomly get really anxious about feedback on stuff sometimes lol, but I promise I read every single comment/tag and cherish them very deeply <33

also, like/rb spamming is totally fine and welcomed! I know some people don't like it, so I just wanted to make it clear that it's completely cool with me.

mutuals~

for a really long time, this was my pinned post, and it's still true! definitely welcome any interactions from mutuals <3

I do have a problem with randomly ghosting people though; I've been much better with it recently, but please try not to take it personally if I don't respond to DMs quickly. I'm probably just being insane and in my head about it. I'm really sorry.

misc~

this is an account that is purposely removed from my irl stuff; I'm here to have fun and relax on my mostly fandom-oriented blog.

I don't block often since I mostly meet nice people on here, but I am very happy to block accounts that make my experience on this app shitty.

I try to tag triggers when appropriate, but please let me know if you need me to tag anything I haven't.

art for me is just a hobby I use for fun and self-expression, so while I really appreciate concrit, keep in mind that my goal is ultimately to make stuff that makes me happy.

I am also very protective of young artists that get made fun of for being beginners or making unconventional art; you should never assume why someone is making art, and you especially should not assume that they are focused on becoming more skilled or making things that are beautiful to you. if they're not hurting anyone and you're not their target audience, get the fuck out.

I am of the mindset that media is not real, but that your reaction/the things you learn are. liking cannibal media does not make you a cannibal, but seeing bigoted portrayals of minorities can feed your biases (doesn't necessarily mean you can't consume it; does mean its effect on you/others irl should factor into if/how you decide to interact with it).

I'm vaguely fucked in the head. just keep that in mind.

[loquaciousquark]

One thing that I really appreciate about your fic is that you always have the whole thing prewritten and then you post on a regular schedule until the whole thing is out there. What made you decide to do it that way rather than post as you write? I'm currently once again waffling on just posting as I write or finishing my whole thing and then posting and it's driving me nuts!

Ahh, I'm still reeling from your lovely art! Let me try to compose myself and also try to get through the haze of cough syrup. There are four (and a half) main reasons I always finish my stuff before I start posting. I keep trying to qualify this post by saying they're personal reasons developed over many years and I don't know if they'll mean anything for anyone else, but I'm just dithering at this point, so let's get to it.

The biggest reason by far is that the pressure of knowing someone is waiting for me to write the next part is AWFUL. It's petrifying, honestly. I've only ever posted two fics as I wrote them, River Stone on the kinkmeme way back in whenever (like 2013 I think?), and Metamorphose for Thanzag last year (a three-parter with over a year between parts 2 and 3). I tried it again with Metamorphose because I thought, oh, it's been ten years since I last did this, surely I can now handle posting before finishing--NOPE. AWFUL. Every comment looking for the next part was like a little inquisitive set of eyes peering over my shoulder, and any free hobby time I spent doing other things I felt guilty about for months. Plus, I'm not quite satisfied with that last chapter even now, but the pressure of needing to get it done was stronger than my desire to hone. I hate having that pressure compromise my standards, and I won't be doing it again anytime soon. Plus, I get so much joy out of comments when I do it the other way--writing everything first and knowing that pressure to finish is gone--that the tradeoff of no comments during the writing process is beyond worth it to me. That's the selfish aspect of how I post; I want to be able to just marinate in the reactions without the pressure of trying to figure out what comes next. Yeah, this sometimes means I spend a metric ton of time writing stuff that then doesn't get a lot of feedback once I finally start posting. Ah, well, them's the breaks. I'm familiar enough by now with my creative juices that I know the next fic is just around the corner. .

I'm such a constructionist in my fics, heavily leaning on my outlines for the overall structure and framework, that I spend a lot of time after the first completed draft trying to really polish up themes, characterization, and plot from start to finish. On I think almost every major longfic I've ever written, @jadesabre301 has pointed out a serious gaping hole that needed immediate revision (occasionally very major revision) in order to get the fic to the quality I wanted it to be. I can't go back and add early scenes and theme/imagery reinforcement in chapters already posted, and if I want to make the piece as polished as possible, I need that editing freedom and flexibility. (And she needs to be able to see the whole structure of the piece to find those flaws.) Plus, if I don't force myself to write the interstitial or difficult scenes, I could very easily see myself stalling out after hitting the highlight scenes I'm excited about, and then that'd be the end of the progress. I got stuck in one place in Spire for like eight months before Jade pushed me through it, and if I'd been posting concurrently with that writing stall, I think I would have been miserable. .

I have a high tolerance for sitting down and really focusing on one project for hours at a time, and I have a job and lifestyle that allow that every now and then. I don't have kids, I have a career I'm very well established in (giving me some clear work/life boundaries and seasons when I know I'll be busy and when I know I'll have time to be creative), and I structure my free time in those periods in ways where I can write without interruption. I don't really need external impetus or praise to keep me going (in fact, as mentioned, it often makes me feel worse), so having that dedicated time lets me really sink my teeth into my projects, which makes it so much easier to reach my target goals. I also find completing and closing projects immensely personally satisfying, which helps drive that momentum during the more difficult parts of the process. .

It's important to me to finish my projects so that the stories are complete for the readers. Not just because I grew up on abandoned WIPs in the fandoms I cut my teeth on (Sailor Moon, Inuyasha, Harry Potter), either. I remember a particular author in the Inuyasha fandom named Rozefire who wrote what felt like dozens of incredible AUs that I followed religiously for years. However, she never finished more than...memory says a handful of them? And every header at the top of the new fic would talk about how she was still working on the previous one, but after several months I realized that as soon as that new fic went up, the previous one would never see another chapter. I still loved everything she wrote and I still devoured every word, but there were several things I desperately wanted to see completed, and I have so many dusty memories of sifting through those fics for updates every few weeks, pining for any little crumb, haha. I'm able to complete my projects and it's important to me to do so for the sake of any readers, so it's something I make a priority when I write. .

(really 4.5) Not finishing my projects makes me mentally unhappy. It doesn't destroy my mood or anything, but it becomes a persistent itch that poisons all my other hobbies, even if there aren't any comments looking forward to the next chapter. In some ways the ending of that de-aging Fenris/Hawke fic I wrote a million years ago where the story demands a conclusion was a veritable autobiography. There's a reason that of my, uh...63 works on AO3, the only ones not fully completed are the two WIPs I'm currently posting (which are completely written) and the two oneshot/ficlet collections. Those collections have been lifesavers as well in that they are homes for my little orphan ficlets, which also pleases the ruthless organizer part of my brain. I don't like clutter; I don't like tangled wires; I don't like untucked sheets or piles of abandoned craft projects or rooms of untamed chaos. I look at a lot of those cozy little cottagecore aesthetic posts and I honestly just want to straighten everything to right angles and buy them coasters and set up bookshelves so they can clean up the space. I used to organize my parents' VHS collection every summer--we had a spreadsheet with titles and reference numbers that went into the 500s. Finishing fics fits into the same space in my head; when they're finally done I can at last put the lid on the box and put it labelled neatly on the rack with all the rest of the boxes and I can mentally release it from my list of things to think about on the daily. (Which is, incidentally, the main reason I only work on one project at a time; too many open and cluttered boxes = a very unhappy me.)

Anyway! This was a very long answer about a very personal process, and I hope there's some part of it useful to you in some way! <3 At the end of the day, you'll have to decide your posting schedule for yourself based on the things that are important to you. There's no wrong way to do it--it's only whatever makes you happy and keeps you writing! <3<3<3

[nobodysdaydreams]

okay I’ve been wanting to ask you stuff for ur…ask game things but I genuinely cannot find the post to know what to ask. does that make sense?

So uh *slams random emojis and numbers on the counter* whatever these will get me.

32??? 1? 12….52?

🐢🧍‍♂️❤️‍🩹💕🤲🤩

I have to at least get one of those right…hopefully.

((also side note I’ve been meaning to say I like ur new username! very nice 👍))

Ember, I tried my very best to find old ask games I reblogged with these emojis, sadly I could not. I found this one for the numbers. I already answered 1 and 32 here. I answer 12 and 52 below and have a few other fun treats for you.

12. How does receiving or not receiving feedback/support help you? Feedback helps me so much. It lets me know that my writing is good and that I’m doing something right. Originally, fanfic was just supposed to be me getting my brain bees™️ out of my head so I could focus. I didn’t expect people to actually enjoy them to such a degree. I mean, I figured someone else who liked TMBS might like them a little, but I did not expect such incredible feedback.

I got a tumblr in September of last year to release my thoughts on TMBS, including my SOS fan theory, but I never intended to write any fic about it, because it was a super specific head canon (and also I'd never even read fanfic before at that point, though I'd heard of the concept), I wasn't sure people would like it, I'd never done any serious creative writing before, and at the time, I had no idea how much season 2 canon would continue to support it's plausibility. But, for better or for worse, eventually I was inspired enough to write the fic. And if you told me in January of this year, before SOS was published, when it was just a little idea in my head that I’d have people drawing fan art based on my fics, doing elaborate analyses call out posts based on my fics (thank you @sophieswundergarten and @itsgoghtime🥰), making a whole personality quiz based on my fic (again thank you Sophie), getting a tumblr to compliment my on my fic and share headcanons, and, the latest of the fandom's beautiful compliments, someone doing a whole podcast episode based on one of my fics (thanks @heyitsthatonesmolgay), I would not have believed you.

This feedback means the world to me, and it's also taught me the importance of leaving feedback on other fics as well. Part of the rational in writing SOS was releasing the thoughts that are inside my head about my hyperfixation, since I'd be thinking about it constantly anyway. Writing it out is certainly more rewarded than daydreaming alone, but it's also more time consuming. Knowing that someone out there is not only listening to what I'm saying, but enjoying it to such a degree lets me know that this is a hobby that's worth the time and energy. Obviously, it's fine to do hobbies only for yourself, I did that for years, but being able to do something you enjoy in such a way that it makes someone else happier and brings joy to someone's life is incredibly rewarding. And if I didn't receive any feedback, I would assume no one was listening. I'd release my ideas into the void to get the brain bees out, and then when the hyperfixation died, I'd just delete them. But now I know that I'm not just talking to the void anymore, I'm talking to a group of people that are invested in the stories I have to share. Feedback on fics lets authors know that they're good at writing, because they might not know it. I certainly never thought so. Sure, I thought my ideas were cool, but has everyone else I've ranted to about mbs irl thought that? Not exactly. So leave feedback on your favorite fics, go crazy about them. Don't burn yourself out, obviously, but trust me, it will not go unappreciated, especially in a smaller fandom.

52. Do you respond to comments why or why not?

I always try to respond with something. They make me so happy; someone took the time out of their day to say they liked my fic, my ideas, and comment or ask questions about them! It’s a great honor, and thank you all for your lovely comments and feedback!

Finally, the emojis you sent didn't correspond to an ask game, however, I do have one little treat I think you'll like.

As you may be aware, I am writing a secret fan fic for Curio's secret fic gift exchange. I can't promise the fic is at the level of my usual work (as you may have suspected from my lack of SOS updates, I've been quite busy), but I shall try my best. However, what I can promise you is that A) more SOS is coming, and B) regardless of who my gift fic is for, it will include a brief reference or mention of the book "The Little Prince", which I know you are a big fan of. Unfortunately, I can't give any more context beyond that.

Oh, and thank you! I'm glad you like the new username!

[someone-you-do-not-know]

Let's Get Real Fic Writer Asks: 💫, 💞, 💋, ☯️, 🧿?

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback? The crazy long ones, that go into detail about what they liked and thought of the story. I use them as fuel!

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the world building, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language? That's a hard one... Because I don't actually care for world building that much apart from how it affects the plot, but I also want the world building to make sense, which leads to researching like crazy for what is world building, but only matters to me in the way that the world building affects plot. So world building ends up taking up the most time, but I care more about the plot – and also grammar.

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer? I love when the author answers! It gives that extra little acknowledgement that they saw that you liked it, and liked that you liked it, and it's just good vibes all around. I'm sometimes bad at doing it myself though...

☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety? I have some amount of social anxiety, sooooo I have thoughts on this. Because on one hand, I love comments and I know how important they are, but they are hard for me personally to leave, unless I know the person who wrote the fanfic. So to some degree, I think tumblr and such actually can help with overcoming some challenges for people like me, at the same time, it also poses a whole different set of problems. I think some people maybe found my fanfics through me posting about updates here, so that also helps with fic authors being seen more easily. I don't know how everyone else finds fanfics, but I usually go through the newest of whichever ship (or occasionally character) I want to read about, unless I am in the mood for something specific. I don't filter anything else in or out, and I've heard that's not really the normal way to use AO3 – other ways can make it hard for fanfics to be found, I think. So I think social media like tumblr (or xitter, I guess) can help create healthy fandom experiences by bringing the story to the eyes of people. I know I went a bit off topic, but those are my thoughts.

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to? This is gonna sound so self deprecating. Jantelov, what have you done to me? I don't expect any of my stories to do well. I'm still surprised that some of my mutuals and friends like them so much. The way I title my stories, the summaries, the tags, the stories themselves, almost none of it is intended to make people click it. I don't cater to anyone? Except myself? On a different note, I actually do try to make some of my lesser known works more seen by mentioning them on here if people ask about stories I think deserve more love. While they're still the stories with the lowest hits, kudos, etc., they have slightly more than before I mentioned them. So something about that works, it seems.

[veebs-hates-video-games]

I'm not entirely sure what to say about Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow. It's good?

I first attempted to play it forever ago, but I only made it like 70% of the way through. I never had a GBA or anything else I could play GBA games on, but my ex had gotten me a Dingoo. Picture basically a GBA Micro, except with four face buttons and an SD card slot, and also it had emulators for basically every 2D platform from the NES through the GBA (and there was a third-party PS1 emulator you could install that worked ok with a decent number of games too).

It worked pretty well for most stuff I played on there, and it seemed to be going perfectly with Aria of Sorrow too, but I eventually managed to get it stuck in a weird state where no matter what I did it would crash ~30 seconds after loading my save. I never could figure out why or how to fix it, and I just kind of gave up after a while and never touched it again even though it had been a lot of fun.

And then finally a couple years ago Konami took a break from releasing shitty low budget spinoffs of formerly good series and making pachinko machines and put out the Castlevania Advance Collection, and then finally more recently the Switch version was on sale when I wasn't in the middle of a bunch of other stuff and felt up to playing through the entire game again.

It's still one of my favorite metroidvanias (and definitely my favorite Castlevania) up there with stuff like Super Metroid, and it holds up pretty well. I did a 100% souls run and had a good time with it. I know I've complained multiple times recently about Squenix trying and kinda failing with their attempts at proper real time combat that actually feels good in stuff like Harvestella and NEO: TWEWY, but here's this GBA game from like 20 years earlier running on a potato that feels tight and crisp and has good feedback on stuff.

I can tell something does that stuff well when I start picking up on things like noticing you can cancel out of the recovery lag from attacks if your attack is a few frames before you land from a jump, letting you attack again almost immediately. I never figure things like that out when they're so mushy that it's not obvious or hardly makes a difference.

And of course the pixel art still looks good and the music is still fun, and the writing is obviously still complete nonsense just like it's always been in Castlevania games. I probably won't ever get around to the other ones in the collection, but this one is still definitely worth it after all these years.

And just to show how far behind I get on making these posts sometimes, I screenshotted that when I saw it on Steam because it was almost the same day that I got it, and I saved it as a reminder to poke @ion-somnia about it because it was a funny coincidence and I hadn't in a while. And then obviously I didn't, and then even more time passed after I finished the game before getting around to this, so I'm totally doing great at doing all sorts of things before I half/completely forget about them, which is really useful when I try to write these posts so I can remember later what I thought about things when someone asks me. Might work better if I remembered to write them before I forget playing them...

Oh also the fake out intro for the Balore boss fight is too good:

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

What are some things you think about a lot, more than most other things you think

I'm thinking about this right now, and it seems like the answer is "whether or not I am a good person." It's hard to put into words how much that bothers me. There are some people who seem to feel very confident in their own moral bona fides. But I just don't see myself as one of those people. Even though I know there are plenty of things I do well (both in terms of being nice and friendly toward other humans and also just in terms of general life competence) . . . there is always something that looks bad when you look at yourself. And even if you try really hard to fix your flaws, they keep coming back; so you have this sense of having been through cycles of self-improvement and then regression, over and over again, for years on end. At least it feels that way to me, but maybe others experience this less acutely? [EDIT: actually, after writing all this, I think there may be more than two options here -- either people genuinely feel good about themselves, which means they never notice all these flaws, or else they mostly notice them, but can somehow find ways to cope with them without getting too depressed.]

This sounds pathetic and whiny, but it's really true! Some of my friends have told me that I often come off as arrogant or conceited because I tend to talk about what I believe in strongly, and that makes it sound like I don't care what anyone else thinks. And while that's probably true, I feel terrible when people tell me this. Especially since my strongest opinions aren't on subjects where there's any real controversy anyway. They're usually about stuff no one cares about, or issues everyone agrees upon, or a weird mix of both. So it seems like my only excuse would be that I'm an idiot who doesn't realize he has nothing interesting to say, except that I do get some positive feedback from time to time, so I guess I must really be that big an idiot. Or I could try to become someone whose beliefs line up perfectly with the prevailing wisdom, thereby becoming uninterestingly conventional. Which would be bad enough, but worse still would be to have a reputation as a screwup among people who think conventionally. Not sure why I haven't done anything like that yet. Maybe I've tried, and failed, because I simply cannot stop talking about myself. That was probably what made college so torturous -- I spent most of my social interactions trying to figure out whether I had said something stupid or insulting, or if it was just that my conversational partners were awkward/unwilling to make conversation. I didn't want to ask them directly whether they disliked me or thought I was dumb, because I wanted to maintain plausible deniability. In hindsight, I wish I had asked straight out whether I seemed annoying or anything. Then again, I wouldn't trust anyone's answers to such questions, given the times I misread intentions and ended up saying something wrong.

Anyway, I should clarify that this isn't really a complaint post. Just an observation about a pattern that runs throughout my life. My natural state is to feel like a loser, and every once in a while this feeling becomes intense enough to cause pain and grief, but basically this is normalcy for me, in the same way that walking

[1d1195]

okay part two lol THE SUNFLOWER EXTRA WAS SO ADORABLE I LOVED IT!! I thought it was so cute that it was set up in a way where we were getting Harry’s pov and how he was reminiscing their first date! It was a really cute way of incorporating their current dynamic while still giving us how their first date went! It was so cute😭 loved the fluffiness of it all!! Harry is just so cute in this! Like him being super early to pick her up and just watching her was soooo 😭 I feel like fluff can be overlooked sometimes so this was just absolutely such a sweet little read! ANWAYS bestie loved it as always!

Now I saw your post about the next couple of extras and I have some thoughts/questions that’s may help! NOW DONT FEEL OBLIGATED TO EVEN REMOTELY LIKE THEM AND TAHTS OKAY IF YOU DONT!!! You’re their creator and in the end you know best!

Okay so I am a neighbors STAN so I would accept anything for them lol though I do understand wanting to take a break from the concept of dadrry so I understand wanting to space them out! Traditional Harry is sooo always so INSANE in a good way so that would be nice to read too!

If you’re foaming at the mouth to write a Most check in… BESTIE I SUPPORT WRITTING THEM BC IF YOURE GOING CRAZY I WILL DIE!! Obviously only if you feel inspired lol and same goes with Dolcezza!

Okay now with Yours, you said you imagined them getting back together so how would that exactly go? Harry is famous in this so would the transition be easy or immediate? Do they do a co-parenting thing for awhile(bc technically that’s being in both their lives) and solely focus on the baby? Or do they have a little miscommunication with how their dynamic will be, are they going to work it out romantically?

In the ask you mentioned a ring so a cute engagement proposal would be cute if you feel up for it! MFT could be angsty with how both are in their final year(I think they if not I will simply have to reread 😊) and maybe they think about what the next “level” of their relationship looks like? DING omg idk what I would suggest tbh lol only bc I can see the Cupcake still not being able to open up like emotionally yet and maybe it’s like a rough patch in their relationship and that comes up? Idk why all I can think for them is angst lol

ANYWAYS!!! These are just ideas you obviously don’t have to do any of them and I’m sure you’ll create something far more magical!!-💜

I felt like I had been writing a lot of first date moments recently and I was like I need another angle. So I figured it would be nice to be like "no they're like really a couple and very cutesy" and still make them have the fluffy first date jitters kind of thing. Glad you loved it! 💕

Don't get me wrong, I would love to do a Neighbors update but yeah, I'm going to hold off because we're mid-dadrry and not getting rid of them till October either. I'm thinking something like DECEMBER for them 😭 (I have two outlined/planned extras for Neighbors!) and I ALWAYS have a Traditional extra ready to go (there are four outlined/planned extras left in my drafts!)

I'm kinda hoping I can do Most tbh but also hoping I can wait until October? That would be ideal. I'm trying to stockpile ideas and drafts and pieces because like I mentioned it's going to be busy in October 😭 Dolcezza would be fun too I think I relate most to her so it's pretty easy to whip up some emotional stuff and whatnot for them (although as I mentioned I have a smutty idea for them--or maybe at least part-smut 🤭)

Your questions for all of the next ones are SO helpful!

I like the idea of Yours NOT being an easy transition. Miscommunication? Here for it. (Spoiler/not spoiler, they're going to work out romantically 😉) Next level of MFT relationship would be LOVELY especially in their last year! Ding angst is also my favorite kind of angst I def relate to her a lot as well and it's easy for me to feel angsty hahahaha

Thank you for all your ideas! I sincerely appreciate it! I was hoping for a little more feedback on it but I guess since it wasn't a clear cut poll I didn't really do anyone any favors 🤷‍♀️ but that's okay. I appreciate the feedback I got 💕 Thank you as always!

xoxo

[waters-and-the-wilde]

hafkhsdahafskdfaljksjhfalafasd okay so i got. the whole. 'you're one of the good ones' thing from one of my managers at work about the whole. you know. not making the cis people too uncomfortable about my pronouns thing and. like. oof.

there's the 'thanks i hate it' of it all. but also. i thought i was kinda on the 'no more nice good little respectable trans ambassador' program after a previous situation. so it's like huh what that's not actually what i was going for. but also i mean it's not like i'm actually looking to put myself into a situation at work if i can help it? and i feel weird and conflicted because there is a little bit of it that is actually a little vindicating to get this kind of feedback that shows [ex mentor figure] as pretty unreasonable in comparison. like I knew she was being unreasonable but like this is a pretty traditional corporate retail kinda environment and the powers that be are like. doing their best to be supportive about stuff they're unfamiliar with. and then there's the feeling weird about feeling a little vindicated. and then there's just the feeling weird bc oh shit fuck c'mon i didn't ask to be the standard you're gonna hold your future trans employees to. fuck's sake i'm a recovering people-pleaser with an overdeveloped sense of impulse control and six bad jokes in rainbow shoelaces.

and yeah corporations aren't your friend and your boss isn't your friend yadda yadda and also like. generally speaking i get on fine with my managers as human people who mean well and this one was definitely going for 'trying to convey positive feedback' and walked right into it. so i'm trying to be like. 'well everyone has their own deal and some folks have things a lot harder than I do and it's tough to find a balance' and 'yeah no obviously most everyone here has been well-meaning and i'm not looking to give anyone a hard time' and 'i'm glad you guys recognize what i contribute and that i can rely on you if i need to'. aaand i think i tried to convey something to the effect of 'people have really weird perceptions about the whole Being Offended thing' that didn't really seem to register and i was really not prepared to go into the 'no we are definitely still way more scared of you than you are of us.' because. you know. as it turns out we are in fact more scared of our cisgender corporate environments than they are of us. and you're my boss and i'm on the clock and i'm running the math on how well-behaved i am in your presence at all times.

and i'm not gonna say 'hey ouch that's not the compliment you think it is.' and i'm not gonna say 'yeah you don't know how much math i'm doing every time I get misgendered and the cpu background programs it takes to figure out whether and how to address a situation' and 'thanks i've spent a year probably doing way more than this place deserves because what happens if There's a Situation and i don't have the social capital of being Hard Worker and Plays Well With Others and Not A Snowflake' and 'this conversation is taking an entire spoon right now can I go put up this price tag i was printing out'

I think I said something about how it's only going to get funnier every time someone tries to she/her me as my funny little beard grows in. WHICH BY THE WAY the past couple of months i have had to do so much less math. or a very different and much funnier kind of math. nothing makes me feel more like '5 creachers in the proverbial trenchcoat with a top hat and fake mustache who are Getting Away With Something' than getting bro-talked by a dude who read me as a dude. absolutely wild. how do you do fellow dudes.

idk the point i think really is the background numbers. and the fuckinh arbitraryness of it all. like there's never really going to be able to calibrate for who's going to be Chill About Your Deal and who's going to take the slightest reminder of your existence as an inconvenience and who's just going to roll with the kind of default assumptions that you've forgotten how to fathom. and most of the time it's the awkward and well-meaning people who are just gonna be there. and kind of exhausting.

[msmargaretmurry]

For your fic writer ask list 18, 19, 28, 34, 38- a/ carouselstars ♥️

i have 18 waiting in another ask as well so i am going to put that answer there, so i can save it for after work when i can scroll through my fic to choose a passage in peace, lol. but i will get to it! in the meantime here are the rest ❤️

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

i started writing as a wee child! i wrote and illustrated stories about my favorite stuffed bear on construction paper and my mom bound them into "books" for me 😂 but i didn't start thinking about writing as like, a serious hobby/craft until i was a tween, when i had to write a short story for school and a) had a lot of fun and b) got really kind and encouraging feedback from my teacher. shortly after this i discovered fanfiction on the internet and was just enamored with it and have more or less been writing it ever since. there have definitely been bumps! i've always been a kind of slow writer and never been someone who can *make* myself write if i'm stuck or uninspired, so that has been really frustrating sometimes. and i have absolutely has stretches where i was super frustrated with or discouraged by my own skill level, just feeling like i couldn't produce anything good. but i have gotten better at dealing with both of those feelings over the years! i used to write mostly shorter stories but i have become a person who really loves piecing together a long, feelingsy story. currently i am mostly still a fanfiction writer, which i really enjoy and do find fulfilling, but i hope that one day i will find the right combination of inspiration and bravery to try writing more original stuff! i think it would be a fun challenge!

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

okay i answered this here and said brady but i want to also say i always really, really enjoy writing connor, even as a background/side character. i wouldn't say i find him DELIGHTFUL per se but i always really enjoy figuring out what's up in that weird little head of his.

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

love it. would die for it. think it is both necessary and aesthetically pleasing. i believe in my heart that it serves a different linguistic purpose than the "and" that follows it in a list and people who won't use it are joyless minimalists who don't appreciate the lyricism of written grammatical notation.

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird?

this is a tough one because i don't think i have any super weird writing habits! maybe how cagey i am about sharing details about wips before they're done and posted, but i know i'm not totally alone in that. i also know a lot of people find not outlining very weird but i also know i"m not alone in that 😂 so i'm not sure honestly!

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary24

9/28-29/2023

slow day.

i didn't do a lot other than talk to my friends and work on a couple new songs, and get an idea for an older one (came from listening to some kazumoto endo (feel goofy even saying that (like, feeling some voice far outside my own, some kind noise super-nerd being like, basic choice, and like, why does that guy even exist in my head)). i should write the idea down somewhere. excuse my while i write it down somewhere.

the idea is something like this:

using ring mods and beat chopping, both synced to the bpm and not (some super out of time stuff would be great) and automation, i can get maybe a really hideous sound that modulates itself, using various plugins that also emulate feedback and will interact with some pitch that's right beside itself. the gating/beat repeating should have distortion after, saturn2 w/ env following so that way i can get it to sound like it's interacting with something (or not sound that way, actually really having it interact).

anyways, today feels sort of good because i'm coming up against an old problem, how do i write riffs, how did bands i like write riffs, how do i learn from that. i want to write some really weird stuff, usurp synapse wrote weird riffs, i want to figure that out. so i'm listening to their huge compilation again and trying to i guess observe how they do it. it's honestly a lot slower than i really feel it, and they don't get quite as speedy between ideas/parts as i do, a lot of stuff is really simple 3 chord moves, half step movements. stuff i use a lot but i'm always like, is that too incomplex. 30 seconds songs shouldn't be concerned with complexity, they're entirely cut off from that. they have things happen, it's a composition of phases.

anyways, maybe i should listen to something different. i'll listen to masonna's goofy psych rock thing. i listened to like one song and honestly it wasn't so goofy, it was really noisy and freakish, and just getting outside of hardcore all the time / hardcore adjacent stuff always might be a good idea. or maybe not. at least the synths will be exciting to listen to on this record. also it has a great cover.

that's just one of the coolest ever prolly.

my gf's mom also brought a bunch of stuff to us because my girlfriend gently complained about not being able to buy snacks at a regular grocery store yesterday (she didn't really care and we aren't low on anything actually) but her mom was so sad thinking about that i guess she decided to bring us a bunch of stuff. which i'm really thankful for, it's very kind. it's crazy how my gf is still spoiled sort of. saying that makes me sound resentful or something, when really i'm just amazed by it. it's not a really crazy sort of spoiling, it's not like, actually spoiling her, the way the turn of phrase is meant to be read (outside of how we always see it) is kind of awful to think about, having thought about it a lot (you spoiled that plant by watering it too much, its leaves have gone off and its fruit is overripe and falling apart). it's an awful way to think about people but the phrase refers to a semi-true thing, i guess, where people are given a lot and so on. anyways it's not like anything is wrong with my gf for being given a lot, and there's not a lot wrong with giving her a lot.

i almost just talked about the one thing like that i really tease her for (or there's 2, and the second one is way more acceptable to talk about) and that seems cruel of me. anyways, the second one is that when she was a kid on the east coast, her mom really would buy her whatever clothes she wanted in the mall, it was really hilarious to hear about that, and how she'd try to walk out with something without paying, and her mom would just pay for it.

anyways i've just washed my face and worked out and stuff. whatevs. or something.

now i'm listening to ejaculation generator by masonna. it would be really fun to try and get some of these really horrifying feedback sounds.

it's interesting how noise people approach this stuff, i always just felt like it was a kind of punk music, noise people are like, i dunno, they want it to be more extreme i guess, than that.

it's hilarious what you can do with a contact mic and everything turned up to 10.

i don't recall if i talked about this here, but i think one of the two "live" things i did (one being actually a live show i djed at in a really fucked up and weird/wrong way, which you could listen to here if you're inclined ) and the other is when i was at an old job once, we had two phones on the line, and i took them both off, put them right beside eachother, and started playing the feedback with customers there, i took a cup, put them in the cup, started playing with that, and that made them feedback in a new and cool way, and it was louder, and then i started screaming into the cup, like shrieks like i was getting stabbed. i loved that. it lasted about 5 minutes. real art terrorism, i guess. invading where people go to eat with something really annoying.

that's fun to do. i didn't even get fired from that job, for any of the reasons i could have been.

when i was talking to my friends today, we got to talk to the long absent friend who has just been working on his own life a lot, which was a joy, he seemed really happy to be there, today. his mom got on him about it a bit it seemed like but that's whatever, he seemed able to justify it for long enough, to her i mean. he also posted a song he made today, he said it's a few months old. i wonder why he won't put anything out, i wonder if he's in a hell of just accruing and waiting to have enough good stuff like i feel like i am in sometimes, or just doing it for his own pleasure.

i wonder who would even find his stuff if he did put it out. he's a quiet person, i am too but i'm out here putting my diary on a site anyone can see it, he's even more quiet than that. it's not like what i'm doing makes anyone more inclined to look at what i actually do anyways but i am out here instantiating myself, as a thing. he's not not, but he's not really interested in that, whatever it means to him / me. anyways this question is more about, who really goes searching thru bandcamp tags, for instance, to see what's up. i do sometimes, in the things i'm into (noise rock, synth punk, pv, emoviolence (not real but kind of real, not in a retroactive way it's just a weirder way of writing pv)) and see what people are up to. i know some other people do, i know a woman who knows a cool local band and she's like, got nothing to do with vegas, that band spring breeding, that's sort of insane to me cuz they are super niche, broadly speaking i guess. the scene here probably, at most, tolerates a presence like that, and says, it's fun in a way but it sure is weird, to something like that. you know. so beyond the handful of trawlers, it doesn't feel like there's a lot going on to get people to check you out. that's okay, and stuff, when you can just freely put things out, which i feel like, in the music sphere, most of us can. blowing up is not a big deal.

supporting/being in a band makes that a lot more complicated, obv, but also there's probably the expectation of loss and suffering for one's own desires/art in that.

anyways, apparently bandcamp got bought out today, that's pretty bad maybe, or for some people it's really scary, and me i'm like, what does this mean, there's a bunch of fearmongering. what i know is that there's gonna be layoffs (bad) and these people are probably gonna crack down on everyone putting their superlong ambient paulstretch records on there, is what everyone thinks/fears. the sample stuff is gonna be rough/awful, i can't imagine what it's going to be like if this makes it super easy to litigate against like, teenagers just trying to flip disco records for future funk, random funk stuff, random post-rock, anything that's on a major at all ever, and i wonder even more about people trying to crack down on "stolen" musical phrases and so on.

i don't really want to be in a world where that happens, it's interesting to me that we're currently worrying about the potential of a crackdown on small artists who, by what now they want us to think have been good graces on not by any kind of common sense (like, if i'm not making money, i can't pony up any money, and if no one cares about whatever stealing someone does, who cares?), have been allowed to create music by stealing the materials (samples daws, everything, you know, the way you get into this stuff at 15 and keep at it for life). stealing here is used loosely and positively ultimately. you should steal.

there isn't a lot of fear over sampling here. for instance this record i have is standing at 28 songs, there's like, i think 2 drum loops on it i got from 2 songs. that's about it, very minor stuff that i think falls under fair use basically. the other records i've made are like that, only with more drum sampling. i really just like grabbing drums. for instance my 2nd ep is full of sampled loops from post punk albums, i won't say what but there's one super iconic one on there, it's like kind of funny to me.

this also is what happened with unity recently, or maybe it's why this panic exists. people who don't do anything but make small things to carve out their own ideas, you know, create art that is meant to communicate from that context they are in at that point, or from a longer stretch of time (gamedev is like that, so is making an album, different in many other ways (games result in a continuity and albums can be/ are often sequences of things written at different points re-arranged, linear history destroyed and made into linear time (and that's not particularly special to the album, that's true for many novels as well, though they also create the continuity a game might have via the narrative (i should not compare novels to games but the other way around, probably)))) anyways, the point is people are making art that doesn't require a lot of investment outside of time investment, meaning, if you are willing, you will learn it. this is seen as a huge loss to anyone thinking capital first ofc, so there's i guess a massive impulse to stamp this out. think about how massively owned visual art currently is with payment subscriptions and things. though i guess like how if you are really really invested in music, you can learn to make music in audacity, and if you're invested in drawing, you can invest in learning how to draw with a mouse or trackpad in mspaint. it would be hard but you can do it. people might confuse that with a passion when it's really just a high level of confidence in oneself. some people might need whatever guardrails they perceive in something like ableton or idk what artists use. clip studio paint and stuff. there's also all that free stuff out there, there's not a total horrific thing happening where options have totally disappeared, it's just that the interest in maintaining those things is like, i don't know if it's dissipating or not, i doubt it is because some people could give a fuck about money and stuff, but i guess this all really corresponds to places to share and have your stuff hosted.

but the anxieties right now seem pretty, i dunno, far away, with the bandcamp thing. i don't feel totally terrified, but i guess i know what could get bad if things do get bad, that sort of worries me i guess. or it does, but it's not the kind of thing i've not got any idea how to deal with, you can find ways to get your music out there but it means you need a bigger personality to get people to see it (i have a tiny one (let's compare personality sizes (that's a good song title in a cheeky annoying hardcore way (which is what i like anyways))))

aside from everything what is there to worry about.

and anyways it's getting late and i'm listening to usurp synapse. i wish i knew what the fuck this guy did to his guitar.

short review of ejaculation generator by masonna since i just heard it:

good, loud, stupid, i like all the annoying sounds, i want more annoying sounds, some of the time at least.

i love annoying squealing noises, i don't know what's wrong with me, i love when notes are right next to eachother fighting it out, or ringing out in uneasy cooperation, however you want to imagine it (or maybe it's just a kind of loving thing).

the guy who plays guitar in u.s. has some vids on yt, i might as well watch them and try to learn, but i know sorta already how he does stuff, or at least the chords he likes.

anyways, byebye!!