#they're just me trying to figure stuff out and get feedback on my thoughts

[moghedien]

like I wanna be clear, I never really wanna talk people out of not liking the show or whatever. like sure I want people to enjoy it but also if you don't like it in general or don't like certain plot points or changes, I am not posting to try to talk you out of that. I'm posting because I'm a brainrotted girl with lifelong OCD who literally has a brain wired to obsess over things and its healthier for me to obsess over things I like

I mean, I'm gonna point out takes that I don't think make sense (like "oh but Lanfear would have just Traveled to get Rand" literally makes no sense for instance and I'm gonna point stuff like that out) but like I don't really wanna talk people into the show unless they like actually want me to. if you come on my posts or send me an ask and question my opinions/theories/takes, I'll talk about them with you happily, but I have no interest in really commenting on people's stuff to try to argue with them into liking things or agreeing with me and that's never really my intent. there are valid complaints and all that and its better to see those then like mindless hate from bookcloak types. complaints in and of themselves should not be dismissed on the nature of being a complaint

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Dirty Work 20

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as bullying, familial discord/abuse, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You start a new gig and find one of your clients to be hard to please.

Characters: Loki

Note: weekends aren't for rest, they're for being sick and anxious so Monday will be a treat.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

As you enter, you try your best not to make too much noise. You set the bags down lightly and ease the inner door shut. You can hear your dad and the soft sound of puzzle pieces meeting the table.

“Ya know, thirty years almost, but I can see her just like yesterday,” he says.

Your heart clutches. You never heard him talk about your mom. When you were a kid and didn’t know better, he just ignored all your questions about her. When you got older, you stopped asking. You figured it’s easier for both of you to pretend she never was.

“I’m sorry, hon,” Leslie comforts, “you know, in my line of work, I’ve seen it over and over. It’s a wound you can’t heal.”

“Oh yeah,” he grits, “yeah, I’d say…”

You swallow and lean back on your foot, crinkling the bags behind you. You cringe as you hear sudden movement. You turn and work to slip off the white loafers. You pretend like you weren’t listening as Leslie’s shadow looms from the archway.

“You’re home,” she proclaims, “we didn’t think you’d be so early.”

“Me either,” you say as you face her. 

Her lashes flick and her mouth opens, “oh my, you look so good! Weren’t you working today?”

“Uh, did some work,” you lie, “I got a few hours off so I… did some running around.”

“Oh, gosh, come on, you have to show your dad,” she takes you by the wrist and tugs you around, “Charles, look at your girl.”

She presents you with her hands on your shoulders. You can’t even look at your dad as the couch creaks and he grunts at your appearance. He snorts and pushes another piece into the puzzle.

“What am I looking at?” He sneers.

“Charles, don’t be like that. Look at her hair, and this dress,” she touches your hips, “must be a nice job, huh?”

“It’s alright,” you shimmy out of her grasp, “I just… needed something more presentable–”

“Something shorter,” your father scoffs, “so when she’s bending to tidy the floors you can see right up.”

“Charles, that’s gross,” Leslie reprimands.

“Truth can be like that,” he snickers, “think some man’s buying her fancy clothes so she can sweep? We both know how she pays for you.”

“No… it’s not…” you shrug and give up, “I’m gonna put my stuff away and start dinner. If you want, you can head off early too.”

“Oh, I don’t mind sticking around,” Leslie says as she once more sits beside your dad, “let me know if you need any help with dinner. Don’t wanna get anything on that nice little dress.”

You nod and hesitate. You can’t tell what she means by that. For as much as she can call out your father, she often speaks with an edge of her own. Just like the cigarettes, she must assume his insults are your fault.

You leave the room and grab the bags. You carry them up the stairs to your room. You shut the door and sit on the end of the bed. You bend and cradle your head, trying to set it straight after the dizzying day.

👠

The bus provides a momentary break from your hostile world. There is no safe place for you. Home is barely that and work is… confusing. Your only escape is to focus on your tasks and get through them. Get through Mr. Laufeyson’s list then come home and the chores left untouched. 

Your look at the time on your phone and black the screen. You get a glimpse of your reflection off the glass as you do. You didn't do too bad with the makeup. It looks okay. You tried not to use too much as you recalled Eliana's instructions.

You shake off your doubts and airy feeling around your legs. You're not use to the skirt or the pretty fabrics. You feel overdressed and out-of-place, but the latter is so new to you.

Through the gate and along the edge of the drive, you hear your name flutter in the air. You stop short as you see Frigga strolling along the hedges, caressing the petals of a rose. She draws away and strides towards you, an ivory skirt paired with a golden brown blouse and nude heels.

“You do start early, don’t you?” She approaches and takes your hand, “come, let’s have tea.”

“Oh, uh, I…” you let her tug you along the walkway towards the front door, “the carpenter is coming today–”

“Ah yes, Loki mentioned you were working on restoring the gazebo. That’s lovely. We used to have tea there, me and… his wife. She was a laugh.”

“Mm,” you hum. Whoever this woman was, she must’ve been very special. You imagine a beautiful woman with silky hair and long legs like Frigga. She must’ve fit right in.

“I suppose if it was meant to be, it would be. I only hope my son can find happiness again,” she squeezes your hand before she lets you go. 

She opens the door and waves you in ahead of her. You slip out of your flats much easier than your usual lace-up sneakers. She steps out of her heels and sighs.

“That’s his problem, you know? He’s lonely but too proud to admit it,” she sidles around you and leads you down to the kitchen. You follow and watch as she goes to the counter and pours from the waiting teapot. “Though I haven’t seen him today. I suppose he’s sleeping in, it is the weekend.”

You tilt your head but don’t comment. For as long as you’ve worked for him, not very long at all, he’s never slept past your arrival. Well, not so far as you know.

“I do love this skirt,” she comes back around the counter and touches the tweed, “wonderful pairing,” she touches the blouse with the petal shaped cutouts around the high-collar, “you’re learning.”

“Um, yeah, all the clothes are so pretty,” you say.

“Please, have your tea. I’m sure you have time before the carpenter,” she urges.

“Right, er, I’ll just take my bag upstairs first,” you say, “out of the way.”

“Sure,” she accepts with a kind smile, “how about I take this out to the patio, we can enjoy the sun?”

“Alright,” you agree and hike up your bag, “thank you.”

You quickly flit off and head upstairs. You weren’t expecting her to be there. You just hadn’t thought of it. You only dreaded facing your unbendable boss and his persistent stare.

You go into the library and tuck your bag under the writing desk. You double check the schedule in your phone; Ronan, 10. You have an hour before he arrives.

Your mind is already on the gazebo as you scurry back into the hall. As you shut the door gently, you hear a groan. You peer down towards the unusual noise and blink at the slightly ajar door. The main bedroom. Mr. Laufeyson’s. It rises again before a drawn out exhale, his timbre rumbling low.

You quickly set back to your path and flee downstairs. Maybe he’s talking in his sleep, or more likely, stretching out a few kinks. Your curiosity quickly dissipates as you pass through the dining room and out into the patio.

Frigga sits with large pointed sunglasses over her eyes. She tilts her face up to the sunlight as you sit before the other cup of tea. You pull it close and look out at the yard. A streak of green catches your gaze.

You watch the hummingbird hover over fuchsia petals. You stare dreamily, lulled by the peace of the moment as Frigga merely sips and basks. This isn’t so bad. The bird zips between flowers before disappearing behind a tree. In his stead, the skittish chipmunk scrambles along the railing of the patio. You smile at his fluffy tail.

“I’ll be off tomorrow,” Frigga states, “my husband will be expecting me. Oh, but I’ll miss you, darling.”

“Is it very far?” You wonder.

“Four or five hours,” she answers, “not very far but enough. It’s so lovely up where we are. I wish you could see. Perhaps one day. When things are better.”

Before you can answer, there’s a subtle click behind you.

“Morning,” Mr. Laufeyson’s voice is unleashed onto the scene as the patio door swings inward, “mother,” he pauses before he enunciates your name, “beautiful day out.”

Your shoulders stiffen and nearly touch your ears as you sit straight. He pulls out the chair at your other elbow and sets down another teacup with a clink. He sits and smooths back his dark hair, tucking the spiralled ends behind his ears.

“Late morning,” his mother remarks, “any tea left?”

“Some, shall I–”

He puts his hands flat, moving to stand but she shoos him as she’s quicker to rise, “I’ll get it myself. And you darling,” she dips her chin in your direction, “more?”

“Oh, no thanks, I’m still… working on mine. Thank you, Frigga,” you say, mindful of each syllable.

She leaves and the door clicks shut behind her. You stare at the brim of your cup, turning it slowly between your hands as Laufeyson raises his own to his lips. He drinks carefully before putting it down again.

He’s quiet. He shifts and plants an elbow on the table. He turns his attention to the yard and watches. You dare to look up as well, the chipmunk poking his head out from the bush where he hides. He ran away at Mr. Laufeyson’s arrival.

“Cute little fellow,” he remarks as he faces you again. You quickly lower your eyes.

“Uh, yeah…”

“Mmm,” he drones and taps his fingers on the porcelain teacup, “you… that’s a nice shirt.”

“Thanks,” you lift your cup and drain most of it, gulping painfully as you put it back down, “I should go start. Ronan will be here shortly–”

“The carpenter?”

“Yes, Mr. Laufeyson, I have him penned in–” You explain.

“And? He is a carpenter, he knows what he’s doing. I doubt he needs you watching over his shoulder.”

“I know, uh, but I should be there to let him in,” you slide your cup off the table.

“You’re not even done your tea.”

“I’ll finish on my way in–”

“You’re avoiding me,” he accused and you wince.

“What?”

“You’re running away? Why?” He challenges.

“I’m not, I– I have work to do.”

“Work I give you. I’m your boss, you may sit and finish. I’ll permit it.”

You falter and set the cup on the table. You lower yourself back to the seat and fold your hands. You look at your lap and push your shoulders back. He is back to his haughty demands, you find that part of him easier to handle.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Laufeyson, I wasn't running away.”

He scoffs thinly and his nostrils flare as he stares off at the hedges that edge the patio, “I wonder why you can be so quick to flee me when you sat and let my brother feel you up.”

“Huh?” You blanch, stuck by the accusation. “Mr. Laufeyson, I–”

“I know him well and I’m not as blind as my mother. I saw it. You didn’t say a word. You just let him do it,” he clucks, “why?”

Your eyes round and you bat your lashes. You nearly choke, the acidic flavour of the tea drying on your tongue. Was it that bad? You tried not to think about it, to let it affect you, even as the memories flashed in your head, you just tried not to feel anything about it.

“I didn’t… well… he’s your brother, Mr. Laufeyson, I didn’t want to assume… to offend–” you stammer.

“So you let him do what he wants?” He snarlss as he turns his sights on you, a brow arch tritely. “You do not work for him, you work for me.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do,” you sputter, confused by his anger. “I tried to…”

Your voice trails off. No, you didn’t try. You were too afraid too. He’s right, you let Thor keep touching you and you didn’t say anything, you didn’t move, you just froze up.

“It makes me wonder,” he cups his chin, leaning on his elbow, “how far would you let him get, hm?”

“Mr. Laufeyson,” you whimper, “I’m sorry–”

“Did you like how he touched you?”

“N-no, Mr. Laufeyson, no, of course not,” you plead.

“You do not want him to touch you?” He prompts.

“No, I… didn’t know how to say—”

“Shhh,” he hushes you, lifting his chin from his hand and pressing his finger to his lips. He pulls his hand away to point at you, “I’ve a better question…” He reaches towards you and you flinch. You quiver as he traces the cutout along the top of your blouse, “how far would you let me go?”

You squirm as he hooks his finger inside the teardrop window in the fabric. His fingertip brushes you as he gives a slight tug, looming closer as he draws you towards him. He smirks as you stare dumbfounded. What is he doing?

“My brother will not touch you again,” his voice is low and rocky, “I will make sure of it.” He tickles you slightly and rescinds his hand, “and you will make sure to remember who you belong to.”

He sits back and hooks his fingers in the handle of the porcelain mug. As if on cue, the french doors open behind you and Frigga trills as she emerges, “oh, just enough tea,” she announces, “I added a dash of honey this time.”

She places the cup by her empty chair but does not sit. She twirls and paces around the patio, going to the flower boxes along the rail. She leans in to examine them.

“Perhaps the carpenter could have a look here, it’s crooked,” she declares. “And I dare say the guest room has a loose floorboard right near the bed.”

“Mm, perhaps, mother,” Laufeyson drawls as he once more raises his cup, his eyes stuck on you, “my house manager will be sure to ask, won’t she?”

“Yes, Mr. Laufeyson,” you wisp out through your constricted throat, barely registering his command. 

You can only hear his previous words echoing, over and over; remember who you belong to. Belong to… No, you only work for him.

[goldfades]

𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡. | delicate au, jack hughes

౨ৎ ─ summary | this takes place in late august of 2023, a little before the njd season started. jack hughes dm's the girl the whole internet thinks he's dating and invites her to a pre-season get-together at his house.

─ word count | 1.9k

─ warnings | anxiety, some flirting? nothing else!

─ taglist | @dancerbailey3 @valluvsu @daisysnhl @dasiysthings @iminlovewithtz11 @literatureluster @lvrzegras @lxvleyzoe @bowen-power @ru-kru @jackhughesily @hearts-for-luke

─ ev's notes | please lmk ur thoughts on this au so far! i, of course, always read ur guys feedback so anything would be very much appreciated.

Accept message request from jhughes (jackhughes)?

jhughes: have you seen twitter? we're trending 🤣 jhughes: looks like i'm your bf now 🤷🏻🤷🏻

libbytf: yeah um i don't even know how that happened😭 libbytf: they're crazy, that's not either of us?

jhughes: it does really look like us though haha 🤣 i don't blame them

libbytf: the more i look the photos the more i disagree lol, i hope they figure it out on their own 😭

jhughes: haha yeah [seen]

jhughes: me and luke are having a pre season party, you should come if ur free jhughes: oh and if leon wants you to hahaha😭

libbytf: when is it? i'll see if i can come and if i'm in town

jhughes: next saturday at our new place

libbytf: i'll let you know!

jhughes: k lmk ( 👍🏻 )

Libby stared down at her screen, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Did she just get asked out?

She received the message later that day and she was surprised that Jack Hughes had messaged her. She wasn't starstruck or anything but he didn't seem like the "dm" type, he looked more like the type to approach you in public.

She shook her head, she didn't even know if he was hitting on her. He probably wasn't even trying to come off that way, he probably just needed more people at his party. And the truth was, after the whole "Josh" thing, she didn't really have anything to do because everyone in the world was seemingly against her. The messy breakup with Josh had left her feeling exposed, as if every aspect of her personal life was now fair game for public scrutiny.

She had been under the spotlight for years now, long before she had even considered the idea of being a singer. Her sister and father were already apart of the "Hollywood" circle, she has seen this kind of stuff before. She's never been apart of the gossip, though - this was the first time she'd been in the spotlight for a bad reason.

Growing up in the shadow of her sister's and father's fame had accustomed her to the entertainment industry and all the drama that came with it. But now, as the fallout from her breakup with Josh engulfed her, Libby found herself thrust into uncharted territory. The barrage of rumors and gossip had stripped away the layers of privacy she had worked so hard to preserve, leaving her feeling vulnerable.

Libby couldn't even turn to her music anymore, she felt like it was no use because the whole internet (and their moms) hated her for no reason other than her relationship, or lack thereof.

She was pulled out of her thoughts as she felt her phone buzz on her bed. She reached for it lazily and opened it, reading the message.

leon 😛 are you down for something this weekend?

Libby typed out a quick response.

libs 🥸 depends

leon 😛 me and some of the team are gonna have a party this weekend to celebrate the start of the season, they told me to bring someone and ur all i have

leon 😛 unless u say no i'll ask someone else

libs 🥸 jack already asked me so sure :)

leon 😛 wait so ur his plus one?

libs 🥸 no bc he's the literal host, he just invited me😭😭

leon 😛 thats weird but okay, can u still be my plus one

libs 🥸 idk if that'll change anything but sure!!

She sighed at her brother's slight stupidity. It sounds like she was going to be going to the party this weekend. As she agreed, Libby couldn't help but feel a twinge of anxiety about attending Jack's party. The thought of facing a bunch of strangers, each with their own preconceived notions about who she was, made her stomach churn.

Before she could turn off her phone, her phone buzzed and she looked at the notification.

jhughes (jackhughes) started following you!

──

"Have you been on Twitter?" Leon spoke up as he drove, his eyes glancing toward Libby before focusing back on the road.

She shrugged, "Yeah. Why?"

"Everyone thinks you're dating Jack, it's kinda funny. Isn't this like, your first time meeting him?" Leon replied with a small laugh, shaking his head.

"It's pretty dumb, isn't it?" Libby replied, her voice tinged with amusement. "Well this is like my second or third time meeting him so it's not like we're strangers but still, we're far from strangers."

"Are you sure about that? He messaged you." Leon joked as he smirked at you as you rolled your eyes. She knew he was joking but a part of her thought that maybe he was flirting with her. But Libby could not even mention that to Leon because it'll make him go crazy, staying quiet was the better option.

"Shut up," Libby mumbled as Leon laughed. "The pictures aren't even us, you know?"

"The guy looks a lot like Jack but not you. It's so funny especially because everyone swears that they know you so well but they can't even tell the difference you and some other person." Leon grinned, clearly enjoying the absurdity of the situation. "Well, I guess the internet just loves drama. Can't blame them for trying to spice things up, it is fun."

"I just hope people figure it out soon," Libby sighed, glancing out of the car window at the passing city lights. "I mean, it's not like I need more rumors right now."

Leon shrugged. "Yeah, I get it. But you know what they say, any publicity is good publicity."

"Yeah at least I'll know my new album will get tons of new streams, thanks to Josh's fangirls."

"You mean dickriders? Jesus, have you seen the comments?" Leon scoffed, making a turn to Jack and Luke's home.

Libby sighed, her shoulders slumping as she leaned back against the car seat. "Yeah, I've seen them. It's like they're just waiting for the opportunity to tear me apart completely, I can't even go on Instagram anymore."

Leon's expression softened with empathy as he reached out to place a comforting hand on Libby's arm. "They're just fucking bored, that's all. They have to tear someone down to feel better. Don't let them get to you."

Libby nodded, grateful for her brother's words of encouragement. "I know, it's just hard sometimes, you know? Feels like I'm constantly under a microscope."

Leon nodded in understanding, his gaze unwavering in its support. "Yeah, I get it. But remember, those comments don't define you. You're so much more than what people say about you."

Libby managed a small smile as they reached Jack's home. The night air was crisp as Libby and Leon made their way towards Jack's home. The distant noise from the party spilled into the quiet neighborhood as they walked towards the entrance.

The home was pretty big but you weren't surprised, they were really good and popular hockey players so of course they had a big home. However, as you walked into their porch, you noticed how clean it was. Not many boys in their twenties kept their homes so clean and organized but Libby was pleasantly surprised at how clean their home was and she hadn't even been inside yet.

Leon gave the door a few knocks before the door opened to reveal Jack, a big grin on his face and a backwards cap on his head. "Leon! You made it!"

"Yeah, and I brought Libs!" Leon grinned back at Jack as his gaze finally fell on Libby, she felt his eyes scan her body before they landed on her eyes once again.

Libby felt a slight flush rise to her cheeks as she met Jack's gaze. His warm smile putting her at ease as she returned it, trying to ignore the flutter of nerves in her stomach.

"Awesome! Come on in, guys." Jack ushered them inside, the sounds of the party becoming more pronounced as they stepped inside.

"There's some chips in the kitchen and you guys can just help yourself to the drinks inside the fridge, just don't drink any of our protein smoothies." Jack side glanced to Leon playfully, in which he responded with a quick fine. "Everyone's in the living room playing pool."

"I'm gonna go get a beer, if y'all don't mind." Leon called out as he headed towards the kitchen, leaving Libby and Jack by the entrance.

As Leon left, Libby shifted her gaze to Jack with a warm smile. There was a brief awkward silence before Jack broke it, "I didn't know that you lived in Jersey."

"Well I don't but ever since Leon's moved here I've been spending every second at his place. I actually live in New York City but it gets a little hectic, I need a break sometimes from... everything." Libby explained as she recalled all the drama from the summer, from everything with Olivia to Josh, it was eventful.

Jack nodded, his expression sympathetic as he listened to Libby's explanation. "I get it. New York can be intense, especially with everything going on."

Libby sighed, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders as she spoke about the challenges she faced. "Yeah, it's been a lot to deal with lately. Sometimes, it's nice to escape to somewhere quieter, you know?"

Jack's gaze softened with understanding. "I get it. I'm sorry by the way, with the whole uh... thing." Jack didn't really want to specify but they both knew as Libby nodded.

Libby gave him a sweet smile but before she could respond, Luke came in wearing a Devils jersey. "Dude I've been looking everywhere for you, there's something wrong with the-" He cut himself as he noticed Libby.

"Hey Luke." Libby greeted the tall curly-head with a grin as he walked over to where Libby was and gave her a side hug as Jack observed.

"Libby! I haven't seen you in a while, how's everything?" Luke asked casually as he pulled back.

"Can't complain." You spoke with a small grin as you looked in between the boys. "You?"

"Very excited for the new season, I don't know if you could tell." Luke chuckled as he looked down at the jersey.

Libby couldn't help but chuckle at Luke's enthusiasm. Even though she's never formally met Jack, her and Luke have a pretty good friendship through Leon. As soon as they met they clicked and now they're practically tied at the hip. "Hmm... I couldn't tell. Go Rangers, right?"

"Hey, hey, hey!"

"Whoa, don't you dare step foot in our homes and disrespect us like that. That is a like a slur around here." Jack shook his head playfully as him and Luke exchanged looks before all three of you busted out laughing.

"Sorry, sorry won't happen again!"

"It better not or we're gonna have to kick you out." Luke threatened with a mock-serious expression. "But seriously Jack, the TV isn't working and everyone wants to play Fifa for some reason."

Jack shrugged as he motioned to Libby towards the living room, "I don't even know if we own Fifa..."

They all entered the spacious living room where everyone was. There were some teammates who she recognized and some people she'd never seen before. Jack and Luke ventured off toward the TV, leaving Libby to go stand by the couch. She'd enjoyed the night so far but as she stood there, anxiety began to creep into her stomach.

Everyone here knew somebody and right now the only people she was close with was her brother, Luke and Jack and they were all playing Fifa right now.

"Libs, get a controller we need one more player!" Jack shouted from the coach and waved at her to come over. Libby hesitated for a moment, feeling a familiar pang of anxiety at the thought of joining a group of people she didn't know well. But as she stared back at Jack, she swallowed all her fears and walked over, taking a controller.

As she settled in next to them, Libby felt a sense of normalcy wash over her. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she could just be herself, without the weight of everyone's expectations or the glare of being perceived.

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[ivyblossom]

Lessons in Story: Blather

I've been on a journey with planning and outlining for a long time now, but as a former pantser, it still feels very fresh to me, and everything about it is surprising.

None of this comes naturally to me at all. Once again: when I say "lessons", I mean the lessons I have learned, not lessons of value to anyone else, you're probably better at this than I am. I'm very open to feedback and ideas on planning, this is foreign territory for me.

My biggest revelation about planning and outlining is that, after years of hating and dreading anything even remotely structured, it turns out that I really enjoy this part. It's ridiculous and fun.

My paradigm shift was going from thinking of it as some (ugh!) structured version of writing to it being an entirely different activity. I seems closer to daydreaming than to writing. It doesn't take from the experience of writing, it's adding a new, fun version of composing story that's just as creative and immersive and fun, and even more self-indulgent, it's just from a slightly different vantage point and is less gruelling. It's also easier to do when I'm tired, so I can even see it as something I can do when I don't feel like writing, so it's not even overlapping time-wise.

It's taken me a while to figure how to do this in a way that makes sense and feels good. This is what I've managed so far.

It's blathering. It has no order and no structure, and I'm not sure I even understand what's happening in this process. Maybe one day I will. It comes out as a mess of random thoughts and ideas. It is documented daydreaming.

There have been times when I would just keep all that in my head and have it fuel whatever I did, but that isn't a very reliable or predictable way to function, and it means I'm not making choices between options. So what I'm doing now is to just write it all down, which helps me see it and think about it some more. Once I write it down, it change. Is that weird?

The blather has no rules. It's total free-associating. I write down whatever I'm thinking about related to this story, anything that grabs my attention about it. Things that don't work or things I don't know, things I'm obsessed with, anything. And none of it is artful.

Every time I pick the document up again, I start at the top. I don't reread it. I just blather. I repeat myself. At first it's just bits and pieces of things and me droning on about characters and what I think they're worrying about and wanting, etc. etc. Blather is functional, I don't know why. It helps me make decisions and work through ideas. The ideas get bigger and deeper as I blather about them, and problems emerge and get solved.

At a certain point, the blather starts to coalesce into scenes or pieces of them. And then I start telling myself the story as I know it. Over and over. Eventually I can't tell myself the whole story, I get stuck on some part and spend days circling around it. Sometimes I start telling myself the story from the middle, or work backwards, or whatever appeals to me. But there starts to be a sense of order and linked events, and ideas arrive, spend time in the story, stick around or get kicked out. New day, I start again at the top and tell myself the story again. This is kind of weird and obsessive, but it feels like what I want to be doing, it's like a fidget toy or something.

When I do this enough, eventually I want to start lining up the stuff I know about what happens in the order it happens. I can do that in the document for a bit, but then it starts to get out of hand. Then I start wanting a specific tool that lets me put this in order without putting it in order. Every time I reach this point I try different tools, and none of them work the way I want them to. That might be because I want to do something but not do it at the same time. But that's the point where I want to lay it out in a more structured way, but the thing doesn't have a structure.

At some point, and I don't know what triggers this, but the thing untangles in a way that even though it's not complete yet, it becomes linear. I can line up scenes and it makes perfect sense, I don't need a weird tool. That's the point when I'm ready for a proper outline. I can't say I completely understand what's going on here, but this is what it looks like.

The blathering is so fun I keep doing it even once I've started a formal, structured outline.

That's blather. Maybe there's as better word for it. Maybe there's a better way to do it. I have no idea! But this is what I've settled on. At least it's fun! I'm really glad it's fun, because I only willingly do things that are fun. As I've said, maturity is not my strong suit.

[my-mt-heart]

How is AMC likely gauging audience reactions to the show?

There's comments on social media, but that only covers the people who bother to use social media to share their thoughts. Many don't.

And even though tboc views were low, there's still plenty of people on Facebook and Instagram saying uncritical stuff like "Daryl is badass!!" and people shipping caryl who must not have seen Zabel's comments... So, that makes it seem like AMC can just carry on not giving a fuck because those people will still be hyping it regardless of quality.

And then there's people criticising Isabelle's death, but it's not always clear from their comments whether those people are criticising it because Isabelle was an interesting character or because they supported shipping her with Daryl. How will AMC be responding to this?

Lots of people ship caryl, but I think many who do keep it quiet because speaking about it publicly always results in aggressive anti-ship comments. My personal theory is that this is due to the cishetmale gaze that dominates horror fandom, which tends to marginalise any romance/shipping discourse, but especially if that discourse centres a character who doesn't conform to conventional standards that prioritise the male gaze. So, then we see more vocal support for ships like darabelle and d*nnie because online spaces accept that. But that doesn't necessarily reflect how viewers at home feel about what they're watching.

And I just don't get the impression that AMC are that thoughtful about their market research. They allowed so many mistakes, like giving NR far too much control, and they've lost a lot of potential for acclaim and money because of it. They seem lazy. And maybe they are.

I'm asking because you encourage us to use our voices in the hope that it will influence positive change, but I guess I'm wanting to better understand how impactful we can actually be. Do you think AMC doesn't care that we find David Zabel to be misogynistic, that we want Melissa to be treated better etc.? Or do you think the people shouting things like "Daryl is so badass!!" have a stronger impact on their decisions?

And is it worth us trying to be more vocal in places where the toxicity is the worst? I avoid FB and Instagram because any time I comment, I get about 10 men telling me to shut up and make them a sandwich. But because we aren't speaking in those spaces, it looks like only dudebros care about the show, and only their opinions are getting traffic, idk.

Hey, anon. There are a lot of different pieces to your ask that I think @indigoraysoflight and @that-left-turn are more equipped to dig into if they’d be so kind 🙏 I will say that any positive feedback AMC gets is no consolation to them if the numbers are low. They don’t make money off of dudebros chanting on FB or wherever. They make money when people watch/subscribe to the show, and if that’s not happening, then marketing has to figure out where the problems are and how they can be fixed. I know speaking up can be difficult, especially when EPs are running an active campaign to make you feel unwelcome. That shouldn’t be happening (🤨), but it’s the only way to show AMC that we’re here and that our viewership matters. I think there is a lot of bias and a lot of outdated approaches, but if all of us stay silent, there’s no blueprint for them to even consider. Our voices have made a huge impact already—case in point Melissa returning. AMC has been attempting to market to us—case in point the S3 teaser—despite the EPs counter campaign. So they aren’t ignoring us. It’s just going to take stronger, better leadership on the creative side to really push the change along. You don’t need to speak up anywhere that makes you uncomfortable. Like you said, different subsets tend to congregate on specific platforms—in theory AMC should be aware of that. Find one that works for you 👍

[trackterror3000]

Another f/f prompt maybe trans girl lando going out shopping w girl carlos or carlos putting on makeup for her

when i first read this my mind went to an established relationship status, but then i thought.... what if.... they're getting together? :oooooo

thank you so much for the prompt anon, i really liked writing this one! hope it lives up to your expectations xx

(by the way, i took the liberty to name them Lana and Carla, and i love them so much.)

prompt: Carla takes Lana shopping!

tags: genderbent!Carlando; trans girl!Lana; cis girl!Carla; getting together.

warnings: none!

disclaimer: english is not my first language. hate comments will be blocked. feedback is highly appreciated!

"You really need some new clothes, sweetheart," Lana heard her friend's most distinguishable accent from across the room. Carla was sat on her futon, occasionally looking up from her crosswords as Lana made her way through her massive closet, picking out stuff to try on.

Carla owned a beautiful collection of evening dresses and summer clothes, yet they all felt too big on Lana's petite figure, because Carla was a muscular woman. She looked up once more as Lana came out in a red slip dress, twirling around in the mirror. It looked loose in places as it had been fitted for Carla's breasts and height, yet Carla supposed her friend couldn't look truly bad in anything.

"Ay, Lana, this color looks amazing on you!" It truly did. It complimented her skin tone really nicely. "You need less papaya stuff, I tell you."

This thing that they had, Carla still wasn't sure what it was. Her teammate would come around her place anytime she desired, and their time together would always be cherished. Their bond only seemed to strengthen after Lana's transition, and Carla didn't want to think too much about whether that had anything to do with herself being gay.

"Lemme take you out. I know just where to find you stuff."

Carla's closet often felt like a safe place while shopping out as a woman still felt a bit overwhelming, though she supposed she would be fine with Carla there. She picked out one of Carla's midi skirts, threw on her white hoodie and sneakers, and off they went.

The first thing Carla made sure they got was an expensive slip dress, very similar to the one she had tried on before, except it had an open back and shorter shoulder straps. While they were at it, she insisted on gifting Lana a beautiful pair of Louboutins, so she could wear them with the dress to their dinner parties and formal events.

Next they moved to the more casual, trendy shops, where Lana tried on a bunch of crop tops as Carla gave her opinions on them outside the dressing room. Carla then brought her a couple of low-rise denim skirts, and while they did look amazing on her Lana called them 'a bit old fashioned'. (Carla was offended and bought them anyways). Lana also had her eyes on a moss green hoodie, an idea that Carla was pleased to shut down.

"What about this one?" she pointed at a soft, baby blue version of the piece. "It brings your eyes out a lot more."

To that, Lana couldn't say no.

It felt oddly heartwarming for Carla to be able to dress her friend up like that, almost as if Lana was her doll come to life. She had to keep reminding herself that Lana was her own person; it was just too tempting to buy her things.

Finally, the duo awkwardly decided they would go in the lingerie store. This time, though, Carla stood at a certain distance so Lana could explore on her own. She even talked to a shop assistant, something she hadn't done the entire evening.

"She told me I could try the tops on, at least. Help me out with it?"

Carla, a bit flustered, followed behind obediently as she made her way to the dressing rooms. Lana wanted to try on a single black bra.

"Could you help me with uhh, with the back?" She called out from inside.

Carla hesitated before gathering her thoughts and excusing herself into the dresser. There stood Lana, hair pulled up with one hand as she met Carla's eyes in the mirror. The bra looked perfect on her chest, its wings still unclasped. Carla realized she was staring a bit too much as Lana spoke coyly, a half-embarrassed, half-playful smile forming on her lips,

"Do you like what you see?"

With that her friend sprung into action, taking both wings and swiftly clasping them in place. But Lana carried on with the teasing before she could even formulate an answer,

"Ooh, you're such a professional!"

"Stop it, Lana!"

At that, Lana quickly spun around, her delicate fingers smoothly finding their way around Carla's hips, rendering her speechless and flustered.

"Should we take this one home?" she blinked her gorgeous blue eyes at the woman.

Or whatever that meant.

"Y-yes cariño, I really think we should."

[psychelis-new]

Hi! I'm the one with the huge bunny dream. First of all I'm so sorry if I did something out of the rules, if I missed something. It wasn't intentional, I'm so sorry to inconvenience you. You answered it even if you didn't have to. I'm so thankful for the time and energy you spent on me. Thank you.

And yes. I do have a lot of insecurities and I have a tendency to relate my self worth to how people perceive me. They're linked in my head with an unbreakable cord. I am trying to learn to let that go and be kinder to myself. Thinking about my younger selves and how strong they were in their own circumstances and how they survived. I'm in a much better place now but still I look for people's approvals and try to make even strangers on the street like me and appreciate me which is an insane thing to do. I also have issues with my body and how other people see it. I sometimes wish I was just invisible.

So you were right in your interpretation. Like you see what is going on in my head just from bunnies. You are very good at reading these things. I do have some issues I need to solve and I should be doing them by being kinder to myself.

Thank you. Honestly thank you a million times for this. I hope the bunnies bring me luck. I hope they bring you luck too.

Thank you again. Please rest more and have a good weekend.

Hey What I wrote/added later wasn't about your ask: in fact, I didn't say anything to you. :) It's just that some people, sometimes, send in a dream without paying too much attention to how I do that kind of interpretation... Maybe because one of my replies pops up on their dash, they act on an impulse and send something as they like/get from it (I totally understand the urgency behind this ofc). At times it works just fine, but others I have to ask them to send in the dream again, which honestly to me it's like having to make the interpretation twice and I really don't feel like these days cause it's very tiring. So, I simply wanted to avoid all that "trouble" on both sides. It wasn't about you, but just about me. To help myself. ^^

This said, I also get why you thought it was about you even without solid proof. That's just how it works when you fear being judged by others so much, and being too much or a burden, or not enough even. When you need others' approval and constant positive feedback to feel worthy. I'm glad you already know this type of behaviour is not right and it's just hurting you, so I really hope you will find a way to get out of that rabbit hole (!) for real, even if slowly. I think part of this is also caused by how we experience social medias nowadays and what we see through them, how they/society made us believe we need to be in order to be seen and appreciated, accepted, not abandoned. But that's just plain bs. If you cannot make it alone, I really hope you decide to ask for help. Not just to your younger self, but also to people you trust or feel like talking with or maybe to a professional figure: getting guidance and support, free from judgement, may be really helping for you. Take it slow, slow change, slow exposition to something different, but do it. As often as you can. It's like learning a new language imo: to retain new things/words/way of thinking better, you need to practice a little daily, even if it's just one sentence -about you, in your case (a more balanced sentence, to start; instead of letting your harsh inner critic tell you about all the bad in you, remind them that that's just not all you are and doesn't and cannot define you entirely: you're also kind, sweet, smart and you probably have great eyes and smile, for example. But you're so much more, fr. Universe made you, it cannot just be bad.. ;)).

On my other blog I occasionally post stuff I read, learn or download. Not sure if you can find something that may help you, but if you wanna take a look it's @loveyourlovelysoul. A bunch of my most recent posts (like this) may suggest you a new perspective, I hope. All in all, please keep taking care and indeed try to be compassionate, before being kind, with yourself: forgive yourself, you're really just trying your best to save yourself and now also to help yourself, so big congrats to you and don't give up! Take breaks, rest, stay present in the moment, but never give up.

All the best<3

[puzzled-pegasus]

Some Leo and Piper thoughts because I have no outlet for my feelings abt them

These guys are platonically soulmates and I love them dearly

I love the idea of them doing karaoke of or screaming along to pop songs together and especially doing silly duets

Additionly Leo being impressed by Piper's voice every single time she sings bc she has a lovely awesome voice

Im gonna make an au wherein they are fwb for my own mental health lol I just think that would be sweet as heck (maybe also poly with jason idk. or mybe thats even another au xD)

In general though they are usually just bffs

Leo likes to always show Piper things he's working on or asks her what he should make when he's bored lol

Piper also sometimes asks Leo if she looks okay and Leos always like why tf are you asking me I have no sense of style whatsoever lmao

Piper is Leo's main source of snuggles most of the time and she also lets him play with her hair and braid it when he needs a stim or when theyre just chillin

They also write and draw on each others skin w marker wjen they're bored and a lot of times they'll just have their arms covered in random misspelled words in the others handwriting lmao

Leo likes cooking and Piper likes baking and they both try each ofhers stuff that they make and gibe good feedback

Piper is a couple of inches taller than Leo forever >:3

piper has really cold hands and leo has really warm hands in general

Whenever they need to vent they generally go to each other and be frustrated togetehr about annoying bullshit that goes on lol

they also hype each ofher up a lot

both being hyperactive adhd kiddos a lot of their conversations consist of them excitedly interrupting each other lmao

Leo likes to infodump about technical and math stuff or theoretical stuff or really anything that he likes a lot and Piper doesn't get most of it but she loves seeing him excited so sje asks all the questions hehe

Conversely, Piper likes to tell life stories in great detail when she's deep in conversation and Leo gets invested because really she's a pretty great storyteller but also bc he loves her

i think it would be cute if they made jewelry for each other

They like to banter and also fake flirt (and real flirt sometimes, depending lmao)

at some point really soon adter they met Leo was like hey what color are ur eyes and Piper was like actually i have no idea loll and then he just stared st her eyes trying to figure it out for several minutes and idk that image is just cute

piper also does that mom thing where if there's schmutz on Leos face she has to clean it off with anything she can find or sometimes her thumb lol, jason does that same thing and Leo's an easy target cus he gets dirty a lot lmao

Piper sings to Leo to calm them both down in the evening sometimes, not sure what songs she normally sings but they're like calm songs yk or maybe she just makes something up. Sometimes seh puts his name in the song lol

[dipplinduo]

So, I'm really looking to write a Dipplinshipping series myself and I really love the depth that you go into for S&D Dipplins (and its related spinoffs, I am very up to date).

Do you have any tips for keeping up with/writing longer works? I think my idea may take at least 10 chapters, but I've never been able to finish anything but oneshots before... I admire your consistency with the quality of your work (there has not been a single miss, not a one) and I hope to be able write like you one day.

No pressure to come up with anything if you don't know what to say. Regardless of anything, I hope this message reaches you well and that you have a fantastic day!

Omg I love writing talk asks and I'm so touched that you thought to ask me this question!

I'm gonna share stuff I found helpful to keep in mind:

- Take your time with storytelling. The advantage of having more chapters is that you can reallllyyyy enjoy your pacing. One way I do this is through gradual hints and breadcrumbs that build to the major plot points. It's a fun way to develop your story over time while keeping readers interested and theorizing. And when you're not focusing on the main plot, you can focus on other aspects of the story.

- Outlines and general note pages for your fic as a whole are your best friends. They will do the work of keeping track of different story elements for you.

- Listen to your readers. Their feedback is invaluable. If you get a lot of comments about something people seem to be enjoying, this may suggest that it's part of the voice of your fic. It can help you figure out what you'd want to emphasize more down the line - whether it be through side stories or through the main plot.

- Switch up some dynamics overtime. If you find yourself feeling stuck because you feel like you're trying to write similar kinds of moments, thoughts, or dialogues, this is a sign that it's time for you to move on and shake things up. I've done this with Kieran & Juliana in S&S D after I felt I have described Kieran seeing Juliana as a witch (who he has a hard time resisting lmao) so many times.

- Flush out the roles of supporting characters. They don't need their own character arcs, and they don't need to be focal points of the story. But they can influence some events, and it can help with the movement of your fic. (E.g. I often use Drayton to instigate moments one way or another, and this suits his character given that hes relatively chaotic neutral).

- Focus on the quality of telling your story first and foremost; you do not need the permission of certain chapter "markers" to progress. You don't need to wait for Chapter 10 or 15 or whatever to have a big moment happen. If everything is set up and ready to go, just do it. This is why a big moment of S&S D happens in Chapter 9 rather than Chapter 10; there was enough in place and I felt dragging it out would've diminished the moment. No one's really gonna care that much about how things line up to a chapter number. They're gonna be happy they got a big moment, and if anything, your ability to break this norm can keep readers on their toes.

- On the opposing ends of things, know when you have enough in a chapter to stop even if you know where you're going next. If you flushed out descriptions of someone's feelings or some scenery or whatever, and you feel you have enough? It's okay to stop writing and publish. Giving yourself more time to soak on ideas can improve the way you're going to pick up where you left off. I personally don't have a hard rule around this, but I tend to cut things off at the 15-20 page mark for a chapter of S&S D.

- If you feel like you're writing a filler chapter, think of ways it can build to your overarching story. You really don't need filler chapters if you think about it - even if you want to delay going somewhere specific. So if your work could be summed up when completed, what would you want someone to say? Think of ways you can slip in gradual storytelling from multiple angles - whether it be through plot or through some of the lighter moments (that may build to the heart of the fic like found family or dorm life or whatever). This can help breathe life into any chapter update.

- Remember that by taking your time, you're actually developing the voice of your writing and of the story. My original conception of S&S D and where it's at now are wildly different, and that's because there's no rushed time table. That goes for the storyline, the characters, the plot points - everything. LMAOOO, even the beach episode content is going to be very different because I gave myself permission to delay it until I figured out the exact roles I want Paldean Squad to play! It was a better decision that will lead to better characterization (even though I'm nonetheless very grateful for people's patience).

- Write on your timetable, not anyone else's. I occasionally put due dates on myself to get me going (e.g. by teasing a chapter update), but I never promise that I'll have chapters out on a weekly basis or whatnot for anything I write - S&S D related or not. This is deliberate. Life happens and the last thing you need is to write for the sake of writing and nothing else. I feel it's the easiest way to kill your passion if it becomes stressful for you.

- Lean into what inspires you. I find a LOT of motivation through comments, reactions, asks, fanart, etc., so I make it a point to respond to every comment on AO3 and engage continuously with the community on here and whatnot. I've also been loosely inspired by art pieces that have nothing to do with my work. This is just what works for me, though. Sometimes you might be inspired by other media, or maybe by things that you've seen or experienced in your own life. Whatever it is, draw from it.

Hmmm that's what comes to mind for now. Happy to give more later if they come up, & hope this helps! Best of luck with writing YOU GOT THISSSSS 🤗💛

[gonzo-rella]

spoilers for series vii of red dwarf, but i assume i'm the only person in the fandom who needs a spoiler warning at this point.

i'm on series vii of red dwarf, and i've just watched episode 3, where the crew encounter the alternative crew (where kochanski was the one who was put in stasis instead of lister and lister was the hologram instead of rimmer). and i have some ideas.

i want to do a few different fics centred around 'smoke me a clipper' and the aftermath of the reader grieving the supposed loss of rimmer (for example, i really wanna do a fic where each of the crew members consoles the reader in their own way that fits their character, and one by one they realise that you're hopelessly in love with rimmer).

(click read more for more)

i have another, very niche idea for a fic so join me on this long walk around the garden. my idea is the reader has a crush on rimmer, and they're kind of lost and lonely after his supposed death. with kochanski's arrival the reader's crisis goes unnoticed for a while. when they encounter the alternative red dwarf crew, the one that rimmer wasn't part of, it turns out that the alternative version of the reader and the alternative version of cat are a couple. the 'logic' is that the reader still ended up on red dwarf, but without rimmer to fancy, and with kochanski and lister having their thing, the reader's affections landed on cat. conversely, the 'main' version of cat and the reader don't have much of a friendship to speak of, despite the years they've occupied the same space. the reader has always been closer to lister and rimmer. they have a more meaningful friendship with kryten than with cat. but, the encounter with their alternative selves prompts the reader to try to get to know cat better, especially with lister, kryten and kochanski having their 'love triangle' as one might call it. and slowly but surely they become surprisingly good friends, with the reader admitting to cat about their feelings for rimmer and cat actually being a good friend to the reader. i'd like to finish the next couple of series before working out the specifics.

from what i've seen a lot of the fans who read red dwarf reader-insert fics on tumblr are mostly there for rimmer-centric romantic fics (as am i). but, i really want to write for the rest of the crew platonically at least, too. so, i'd like some feedback on these ideas, and i'd like to figure out if there would be any interest in these fics that have more of a focus on the reader's platonic relationships with the rest of the crew. i haven't seen enough of kochanski yet to decide if i'd prefer to write for her platonically or romantically, but even after this one episode there's a pathetic little part of me that wants to write something where the reader has a one-sided crush on kochanski, but we'll see if anything comes of that nugget of a thought.

anyway, let me know if you like the specific ideas i've outlined in this post, and let me know if you'd be interested in some platonic stuff with the crew, and if you'd like some platonic stuff that doesn't have the reader fancy rimmer, or if you'd like some romantic stuff that isn't about rimmer.

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

AAAAHHHH CHAPTER TWO OF CURSE YOUR NAME WAS SO GOOD😭😭😭😭

Yes hi it’s me who sent the previous ask about how good the first chapter was after reading the prologue and then chapter one!!

I loved chapter two because so much is happening and I read it twice before sending this ask just because I loved it so much.

Everyone being excited that the lords have found their final soulmate is actually really cute and I cackled when San practically crushed her in a hug being all adorable about her🤣 and don’t get me started on everyone’s reactions when they smelled her blood… like Jongho begging?!🫣🤭

I honestly can’t wait to see if the relationship between y/n, Ymanya and Gele will become really close since they will spend lots of time with her🤔 and oh poor Y/n having to be nervous and fear that she’ll betaken during the dinner😭😭 and then Ymanya rushing in, perhaps fearing she’s too late, to tell the King and then having to tell everyone that she’s a virgin😭 I died at everyone’s reactions to her being a virgin and having never done anything like that💀🤣 you got me super curious as to what the ceremony is🤔🤔

Oh and I LOVED the moment between her and Mingi, he finally got to hug her😭😭😭💓💓💓 I hope we get more interactions between the two of them🥹

Drunk!y/n being relaxed and laughing and joking with the others was sweet and cute😭 but also what if the others decide to get her drunk more often so she’ll relax in their presence?😶 also also hehe just the thought of Matz feeding from her made me giggle cuz it was kinda a hot image in my head🙈🙈

And the sneak peak for next chapter?! Um hello?!😩😩😩 I’m trying to figure out what exactly it is she’s asking to learn because I feel like it could range from just very innocently asking how to kiss someone the proper way to how to give someone a blow job properly and I got no clue where it might be going😅

Oh I’m so in love with this series so far! Seriously you’re doing such a good job❣️❣️ keep up the good work🥰🥰🥰

- I was thinking of giving myself an anon name so you’d know it’s me, so perhaps I shall all myself 🫧 anon? (Idk if you already have a 🫧 anon or not, if you do I’ll figure out another emoji for myself❣️)

i'm literally —

WWWAREARARA WHERE DO I START THANK YOU SO MUCH 😭😭 i absolutely love love loveee when people give me feedback and it makes me so motivated i just aaah 🫂🫂

i have done a trrruuuuckload of world building for this story and so let me just raaant a bit lolol

as for ymanya and gele(and all of the servants really) i tried to go for a different approach than a lot of fantasy/royal stuff i've read where they're treated sooo rudely, cause i feel like yo come on ? this lady has been serving you for 300 years and you don't have at least a LIIIIITTLE respect for her ?? nahhhh. i wanted to make the staff feel like a part of the family. like obviously the lords are their superiors but they don't treat them like dirt on the bottom of their shoes. they've spent literal centuries serving them and helping them search for their soulmate !!! little things like seonghwa smiling at ymanya or hongjoong telling the boy "good job" is like omg yes plz and thx that is their family !

ymanya and the dinner scene yes yes yes absolutely she was afraid she was too late to warn seonghwa :( i've tried to make her out to be a very motherly and caring character and she definitely took it seriously when hwa put (y/n) in her care. she does not play around !! she was searching every gah dayum inch of the castle for him no douuuubt. and asking for her lady's forgiveness even though she was just keeping her safe 🥺 AHH I LOVE YMANYA SHE JUST A CUTE OLD VAMPIRE LADY DOING HER BEST 😭

mingi ?!?? oh my lawd someone give this boy (300 year old vampire) a gold star right now i stg i always put him through the ringer in my stories 😭😭having to watch to his soulmate grow up and not being able to hold her or comfort her and never being able to find her and then NOT BEJGN ABLE TO SEE HER FOR YEARS AND LOSING HIS FAITH WHICH IS A CRUCIAL PART OF HIS IDENTITY ?!? WHACSHQK HE HAS BEEN NEEDING THAT HUG FOR A LONG TIME ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 there is definitely more to come for them because wow wow wow is he never going to let her out of his sight again

and the drinking scene aaah i had so much fun with that, making her loosen up and see what it will be more like after she's settled in and fully processed everything 🥹 i think they woooould get her drunk more often if she was still very hesitant or tense around them; but seonghwa was the one she was most afraid of and in the next chapter (wink wink) she's even warming up to him without the help of wine

speaking of the next chapterrrrr ... yes i wrote the MATZ feeding scene and its both very horny and very emotional kkkkkk that's why i didn't put it at the end of chapter two because it deserves the spotlight okay im proud of it !! 😩😩 and i will say you were close with your both guesses simultaneously bahahah

you're awesome 🫧anon i hope you enjoy the rest of the story 🥹

[nobodysdaydreams]

okay I’ve been wanting to ask you stuff for ur…ask game things but I genuinely cannot find the post to know what to ask. does that make sense?

So uh *slams random emojis and numbers on the counter* whatever these will get me.

32??? 1? 12��.52?

🐢🧍‍♂️❤️‍🩹💕🤲🤩

I have to at least get one of those right…hopefully.

((also side note I’ve been meaning to say I like ur new username! very nice 👍))

Ember, I tried my very best to find old ask games I reblogged with these emojis, sadly I could not. I found this one for the numbers. I already answered 1 and 32 here. I answer 12 and 52 below and have a few other fun treats for you.

12. How does receiving or not receiving feedback/support help you? Feedback helps me so much. It lets me know that my writing is good and that I’m doing something right. Originally, fanfic was just supposed to be me getting my brain bees™️ out of my head so I could focus. I didn’t expect people to actually enjoy them to such a degree. I mean, I figured someone else who liked TMBS might like them a little, but I did not expect such incredible feedback.

I got a tumblr in September of last year to release my thoughts on TMBS, including my SOS fan theory, but I never intended to write any fic about it, because it was a super specific head canon (and also I'd never even read fanfic before at that point, though I'd heard of the concept), I wasn't sure people would like it, I'd never done any serious creative writing before, and at the time, I had no idea how much season 2 canon would continue to support it's plausibility. But, for better or for worse, eventually I was inspired enough to write the fic. And if you told me in January of this year, before SOS was published, when it was just a little idea in my head that I’d have people drawing fan art based on my fics, doing elaborate analyses call out posts based on my fics (thank you @sophieswundergarten and @itsgoghtime🥰), making a whole personality quiz based on my fic (again thank you Sophie), getting a tumblr to compliment my on my fic and share headcanons, and, the latest of the fandom's beautiful compliments, someone doing a whole podcast episode based on one of my fics (thanks @heyitsthatonesmolgay), I would not have believed you.

This feedback means the world to me, and it's also taught me the importance of leaving feedback on other fics as well. Part of the rational in writing SOS was releasing the thoughts that are inside my head about my hyperfixation, since I'd be thinking about it constantly anyway. Writing it out is certainly more rewarded than daydreaming alone, but it's also more time consuming. Knowing that someone out there is not only listening to what I'm saying, but enjoying it to such a degree lets me know that this is a hobby that's worth the time and energy. Obviously, it's fine to do hobbies only for yourself, I did that for years, but being able to do something you enjoy in such a way that it makes someone else happier and brings joy to someone's life is incredibly rewarding. And if I didn't receive any feedback, I would assume no one was listening. I'd release my ideas into the void to get the brain bees out, and then when the hyperfixation died, I'd just delete them. But now I know that I'm not just talking to the void anymore, I'm talking to a group of people that are invested in the stories I have to share. Feedback on fics lets authors know that they're good at writing, because they might not know it. I certainly never thought so. Sure, I thought my ideas were cool, but has everyone else I've ranted to about mbs irl thought that? Not exactly. So leave feedback on your favorite fics, go crazy about them. Don't burn yourself out, obviously, but trust me, it will not go unappreciated, especially in a smaller fandom.

52. Do you respond to comments why or why not?

I always try to respond with something. They make me so happy; someone took the time out of their day to say they liked my fic, my ideas, and comment or ask questions about them! It’s a great honor, and thank you all for your lovely comments and feedback!

Finally, the emojis you sent didn't correspond to an ask game, however, I do have one little treat I think you'll like.

As you may be aware, I am writing a secret fan fic for Curio's secret fic gift exchange. I can't promise the fic is at the level of my usual work (as you may have suspected from my lack of SOS updates, I've been quite busy), but I shall try my best. However, what I can promise you is that A) more SOS is coming, and B) regardless of who my gift fic is for, it will include a brief reference or mention of the book "The Little Prince", which I know you are a big fan of. Unfortunately, I can't give any more context beyond that.

Oh, and thank you! I'm glad you like the new username!

[someone-you-do-not-know]

Let's Get Real Fic Writer Asks: 💫, 💞, 💋, ☯️, 🧿?

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback? The crazy long ones, that go into detail about what they liked and thought of the story. I use them as fuel!

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the world building, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language? That's a hard one... Because I don't actually care for world building that much apart from how it affects the plot, but I also want the world building to make sense, which leads to researching like crazy for what is world building, but only matters to me in the way that the world building affects plot. So world building ends up taking up the most time, but I care more about the plot – and also grammar.

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer? I love when the author answers! It gives that extra little acknowledgement that they saw that you liked it, and liked that you liked it, and it's just good vibes all around. I'm sometimes bad at doing it myself though...

☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety? I have some amount of social anxiety, sooooo I have thoughts on this. Because on one hand, I love comments and I know how important they are, but they are hard for me personally to leave, unless I know the person who wrote the fanfic. So to some degree, I think tumblr and such actually can help with overcoming some challenges for people like me, at the same time, it also poses a whole different set of problems. I think some people maybe found my fanfics through me posting about updates here, so that also helps with fic authors being seen more easily. I don't know how everyone else finds fanfics, but I usually go through the newest of whichever ship (or occasionally character) I want to read about, unless I am in the mood for something specific. I don't filter anything else in or out, and I've heard that's not really the normal way to use AO3 – other ways can make it hard for fanfics to be found, I think. So I think social media like tumblr (or xitter, I guess) can help create healthy fandom experiences by bringing the story to the eyes of people. I know I went a bit off topic, but those are my thoughts.

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to? This is gonna sound so self deprecating. Jantelov, what have you done to me? I don't expect any of my stories to do well. I'm still surprised that some of my mutuals and friends like them so much. The way I title my stories, the summaries, the tags, the stories themselves, almost none of it is intended to make people click it. I don't cater to anyone? Except myself? On a different note, I actually do try to make some of my lesser known works more seen by mentioning them on here if people ask about stories I think deserve more love. While they're still the stories with the lowest hits, kudos, etc., they have slightly more than before I mentioned them. So something about that works, it seems.

[veebs-hates-video-games]

Overall, this is a short and sweet game about a unionized team of magical girls fighting for better working conditions. The beach episode was done tastefully, the villain was interesting, and there was non-binary representation among the cast. 10/10 and I would read a fanfiction about this game.

I saw this in a review of Hero Hours Contract and thought it sounded amazing and like something I needed to play. After spending maybe a little under an hour with it I can say I like basically everything about it except for actually playing it, which I'm straight up not having a good time with.

Characters? Great.

Art style? Great.

Story premise? Great.

UI? Passable, and it has some clarity issues about what effect doing certain things will have or what effect they did have, like the feedback for what you do at the negotiating table is pretty ambiguous, and it took me longer than it should've to even figure out how to tell how many of what resources I even have because it's not clearly displayed anywhere.

Explanation for how to progress through the game? Technically exists, barely, I guess? What am I supposed to be doing, playing through the normal levels and getting happiness gems to get money/free time to spend on doing stuff with people to get nebulous upgrades that may or may not actually do anything meaningful? Going through the levels in the tower that seem to be what probably progresses the story? I am guessing about all of these things because it doesn't really tell you when you start playing.

Heavy dependence on RNG? Uh, whatever the opposite of great is. Doing the normal levels seemed fun at first because there's no way to really fail, you just get better rewards for completing more stuff within the turn limit. The rewards for fully clearing a level seem to be a lot better than just mostly clearing one though, and whether or not you can fully clear one seems to come down to enemy RNG deciding to cooperate or run away from you.

And then on the tower levels that are (presumably) the story progression ones there actually is a fairly low time limit and they're very possible to fail. And the fourth one of those seems much more dependent on RNG than on any of my own decisions for whether I can beat it or not. Did my character with a random chance of getting extra attacks not get the extra attack I needed? I lose. Did one of the enemies randomly move in the wrong direction so now I can't chain my attack between the enemies? I lose. Did [insert any other thing up to the whims of RNG here]? You get the idea.

The UI stuff would be easily fixable by just putting a little thing on the screen in the home base that actually shows you how many you have of money/time/gems at all times and by actually having clear feedback when you select options at the negotiating table (which would already be much clearer with the previous suggestion because you could see the counters increase/decrease if there actually were one on the screen). It was not obvious at first that I was literally just directly purchasing money/time instead of offering gems as a bargaining chip to negotiate for more of them.

And then the actual strategy sections...well, either make them a lot less RNG-based, which is relatively straightforward, or give the player more ways to compensate for unexpected/bad things happening, which can be more complicated, both to figure out how to implement and for players to engage with if it adds complexity.

Also give me a pause menu or something so I can change the settings while I'm in the game. If it exists I couldn't find the button for it, and needing to exit out of it to see if it'd let me change the difficulty from normal to easy so I don't have to deal with the annoying level made me lose any interest in trying it again.

Great idea, love some stuff about it, but the overall execution isn't really doing it for me. The stuff I liked about it I liked more than P5R and had more fun with it overall than with that though, so that's something.

[teriyakichop]

NARRATIVE PAINTING 105

And there goes @superspecialsecretassignment and @trashcannon narrative pushing again.

For context, they're talking about the facial portrait that I posted of @poopposting --whom HE reblogged MY post, blocked me from seeing my post, which I had to get a third party to check on him. I didn't mock his portrait at all. I asked if he was Irish, because he looks Irish to me. An Irish Ginger Redhead, which is common in Ireland. They even have Irish Ginger Redhead conventions. So, no, I was NOT mocking poopposting.

In fact, I was trying to make peace with @poopposting. He replied on my blog, and I legitimately tried to reach out to him. Observe.

As you can see, the conversation ended in what I THOUGHT was honest positive feedback. I checked his page and sure enough, he unblocked me. Good stuff. I figured I would give him some time, maybe message him on Monday and he and I can genuinely talk.

I go to his page, and he's reblogging the doxxing of my former officer where the Anonymous Sensationalists thought it was me. I was just pinching the bridge of my nose at that point, like....why? Why does he do this??? I'm trying to be a good girl and make peace, and I keep getting proverbially slapped in the face.

This morning when I made the announcement of the Doxxing, my guild members were pissed, and rightfully so. But one of my guild members made a statement that made me have to take a step back.

My guild member warned me weeks ago to put people on blast because if I don't, people are gonna do something stupid and dangerous. I tried being compassionate and possibly forgiving--even with everything that happened...and then y'all doxxed my former officer. Essentially it could be said that this doxxing issue happened because of me. Now, I HAVE to make an example out of someone. Otherwise, my guild will think I am a pushover and I'll lose the loyalty and respect of my guildmates, and I can't let that happen.

So, seeing it as Wyrmretard has anonymous posters and they do the doxxing, I'll set the blame squarely on Wyrmguard Secrets.

That page upset me, but I wasn't gunning for them back then. But I AM gunning for them now.

In any case, take a look at how the Anonymous Sensationalists go out of their way to paint a narrative pushing picture of me as some vilified monster when that is not what I am. They don't care for the truth, or respect, or decency, or knowing when to stop. They only care for entertainment. They only care for watching innocents burn. They only care for sensationalizing hyped up intel.

I've been showing this proof for months. And now one of my former officers, a 100% innocent man, someone I have not ushered a word to in 2 years, has been damaged from the Wyrmretard Anonymous Sensationalist's behavior.

They wanted this. I have no choice but to give them what they want.

"Am I the only one that thinks' it's an impossible task? Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?" --Jazmine Sullivan. <3

[ctsouth]

if you ever made a codependency vn i'd owe you my lifeee... i really agree with how many horror romance games seem to follow the same type of progression and some people do this poorly / it really does feel like they want it to be similar to other experiences but it just falls flat. or truly they add elements that are so Nothing it hurts. or it would be better as a set of comics / an entirely different setup rather than a vn. love hearing about it + valid grievances + and oh my goddd i'd love to hear your personal thoughts on vns that sucked badly. or the bare minimum you would've done to fix them a little bit. etc. 💖💖💖

Blushes... I'd honestly really love to I'd just have to commit to learning an engine... I think everyone has played a game that really pulled them into figuring out what was happening only for that anticipation to be wasted when the obligatory reveal happens in the third act and this is a huge struggle in horror writing I find, like, in some cases doing a reveal wastes the stress, but there still needs to be SOME kind of climax.. Aside from that some people are not as interested in making a horror game as they are making a Scary Character iykwim. A lot of attempts at like "yandere" style horror fall flat because they don't venture out of the tropes of actions and motivations for that type of character and then the scary parts of them feel very disconnected from them as a character and thus are pretty purposeless.

Like I think for all people claim to be Inspired by certain popular horror vns they don't really understand what makes the Horror part good, they fixate a little too much on liking the character that does the scary thing and try to replicate that, but since the character doesn't have the bones of a well thought out story, it falls flat a lot of the time. I think people misunderstand the model of playing a vn straight for a while so you get attached to characters and then do The Reveal (I think this is most prominent in games inspired by DDLC tbh), it isn't attachment to characters that makes it suck when they die or whatever. The model for bad horror games in thie vein is usually just Make cute likable character -> Imply they're a little crazy -> Straight to genre typical climax of kidnapping/violence. It's a waste of your character!

And this thing about how not everything is best as a vn is very true, as accessible as vn and rpg engines are I feel like a lot of these get made by people who don't play these games and just know that they're generally associated with popular indie horror. Webcomics and stuff are still on the table...

I haven't played many vns I think are Bad recently so idk if I have any onhand commentary on stuff like that but tbh I always recommend playing "bad" games within your medium/genre and trying to think of how to make them better, doing this with general fiction writing has been really helpful for me! Tbh I really want to get into reviewing indie games and stuff in part for this reason, I like to play and draw and discuss things and give constructive feedback... I love narrative video games...