#they're honestly terrifying
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I'm reading through the Jinlan City tag for SVSSS on AO3 again (because canon divergences for that are one of my favorite things) and I love that so many authors agree that the best way to fix things is for Shen Qingqiu and/or Luo Binghe to simply burst into tears.
#honestly one of my favorite tropes and I will never be tired of it#they're both going about it the wrong way in canon#luo binghe is angry and slightly menacing#which does NOT help matters when shen qingqiu is terrified of him#so having one of them burst into tears is perfect#because it completely disarms the other and helps them figure out that the situation isn't what they thought#bingqiu#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#svsss
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Thanks Anon, Shadamy is now something that happens in the misc AU, albeit brief.
#shadow does love amy but he feels so insecure about not being a โreal personโ that he distances himself from her#they are still very close tho!! shadow is just hesitant#Amy goes out of her way for him and he doesn't understand why. he's not trying to win her over even tho he really likes her#they have a bit of a relationship for a while! shadow lets himself be with her and honestly those are his happiest moments.#after prime he withdrawals from everyone so he kinda breaks up with her (he's the most insecure and terrified hes ever been)#later they build back their friendship but they're mostly platonic#when Amy and Neo Metal become a thing Shadow lets go of any romantic feelings he has#he respects her new relationship and it doesn't bother him that shes with Neo#it does make him a bit insecure (because he wonders if Amy just LIKES ROBOTS??? so it's his regular identity crisis stuff)#anyways they're โlove like youโ coded#my art#art#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#my au#miscellaneous au#shadow the hedgehog#amy rose#shadamy
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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Please hear me out..... Jdrama!Light and Musical!L.
#I just think they're so neat they're my fave L and Light#everyone please tell me your favorite L and Light and explain why I'm so curious I wanna know#death note#death note drama#death note jdrama#death note musical#light yagami#l lawliet#masataka kubota#teppei koike#masataka is my favorite light because he's such a standout among the other lights his portrayal was so real and terrifying at times#koike is my favorite L because he just.... feels so much like L.... I've long since loved his L but I'm watching the 2017 for the first tim#and Everything about him is just. perfect. that's literally L like what the fuck#it's a fun activity just imagining different L and Light combinations because honestly a lot of them have different dynamics#so when you mix and match them it's almost guaranteed they would react to each other differently#jdrama lawlight and musical lawlight are pretty different and jmovie lawlight is too#I think animanga lawlight would have the biggest beef with their jdrama counterparts and it's extremely funny to imagine#fun science experiment#now everyone tell me your favorite combinations please
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Oh boi even more of One au in like 3 hours lol
I like to think that like how in @phoenixcatch7's Doll au there's gas versions of like cures and such in the batfam's gas masks since they don't need to breath when possessing the puppets right? I like to think there's an organic version of that with the meat puppet bodies, at least with Bruce, where the plates on his neck opens up into vents of sorts, pictured here with a few spikes removed for visibility reasons.
This gas could be some cures for like Joker venom & Fear gas and such, or it could also be sedatives, paralytics, could even vary between each member. (For example in the Cryptidverse Steph has Anesthetics on her claws, Jason has reflective powder that mimics embers/sparks, Cass has paralytics, etc). Honestly I am just brainstorming so this could definitely change lmao
I do like to think they start developing their own venom though, gotta' have those fangs & tusks for some reason lol
#meat marionette au#batman au#cryptid batman#cryptid batfam#body horror#batman#dcu#dc#Sorry Phoenix if I am spamming you lol#Honestly I feel like Bruce & Kane are the only ones with like big-ish tusks as though to show they're the fully grown ones of the group#Batwoman has set up shop in Bludhaven while Bruce usually sticks to Gotham me thinks but they still help each other out because family <3#God I want to ramble about their language and body language and stuff so bad lol I love world building#I also totally haven't been writing a drabble for this for the past hour lmao#The caves have a favorite mortal and It's definitely Bruce lol#Okay but now I am thinking of how Bruce & Clark could meet the first time lol#Bruce can definitely sneak up on Clark if he wants to and it's probably terrifying lol#Something I will have to think about for later I suppose#What are the tunnels? Fuck if I know lol#The drabble totally isn't from Its pov tho lol (definitely not)#Tumblr don't eat my tags 2023#Bruce definitely freaks out the first time he sees his second body#Not helped by the fact the first time he sees it he is piloting it and emerging from a flesh wall#All stumbly like a newborn deer (not helped by long limbs and body all differently proportioned & more limbs lol)#The secondary body's face is something between a human and an animal's muzzle#Dick deserves electric organs like an electric eel so he can shock people#Y'know what Cass deserves pitch black flesh & organs- like I am talking vantablack barely lets in any light black#Bruce is probably more wary about taking in kids what with the whole eldritch thing beneath the streets but really what choice does he have#All of them were already trying to do vigilante work & they'll end up killed if he doesn't help them :/#He loves them but he *really* wishes the tunnels didn't take a liking to them as well because they're already traumatized enough#He wishes it didn't call to them like it did to him so long ago
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Thinking about people who are born with strong powers that they could've easily used to hurt/defend themselves from others that want to harm them but not using it to it's full potential because they're gentle souls with big hearts.
Thinking about people who weren't even born to be strong yet still protects those that they love with all that they are because they know they're gentle souls who can't bear to hurt another.
#may asher rambles#helluva boss#helluva blitzo#helluva stolas#helluva boss blitz#stolitz#THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO MEEEEE TToTT TToTT TToTT#honestly this also applies to my oc Lait#bro has liquidbending and could've easily bloodbended people and shove their own stomach acid into their lungs if they wanted to#but they don't because they're a gentle soul and just use their liquidbending to make self-love in a cup coffee#they would be terrifying as a villain lmao#As for Stolas he isn't even the weakest Goetia from what I know of#and yet he doesn't even use his powers to its full potential unless someone he loves is in danger like Via
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so i woke up at 1am last night to screaming and smashing noises in the parking lot in front of our building... i look out and see the guy who lives in the apartment across from us, in just his boxers, holding a huge butcher knife, screaming and going around to every. single. fucking. car. and smashing/stabbing it. like just going nuts. it was the first time we've ever actually called the non-emergency line on someone :/ and they told us we were not the first people to report it
like this guy must've damaged at least 30 cars. then he came up to the front door of our building and started smashing the door with the hilt of the knife. i overheard the building super re-telling the story to the building manager this morning, and heard him say "look what he did to the door! that's gonna cost over 2 grand to replace". anyway, i'm thankful we park our car in a different lot behind the building.. but imagine waking up to see some guy stabbing your car at 1am???
#honestly i was terrified that someone was going to come home during that guys freak out and that he might've hurt someone???#he was literally just running around screaming with a huge knife#and this is the same guy that i can hear scream at his wife constantly in our hallway#i assume they're gonna get evicted now??#we stayed up until almost 3am watching.. seems like the police arrested him.. then people started coming out of the building#and were pointing out the damage done to their car... the police had tripods and were putting stickers on the damage and taking pictures#anyway i only got 5 hours of sleep last night :/
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I have had the worst idea for an AU about the Kensington Gang as I call them. It's vile.
Do I share it or do I not??
#i'm honestly terrified to it makes no sense#like at all but i want it out my head#i don't know if they're ghosts or what as there are things that would never happen in real life happening in it help ๐๐ญ#stuartposting#stuarts#17th century#history au
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victim would probably be so scared and confused. First this kid created them to die, and then they bring this kid to their world for a fair fight, and then the kid is just so scared and pathetic about it to the point where they feel bad enough to leave to kid alone for a few minutes and when they come back the kid has an op bodyguard that kills them but then the kid ends up bringing them back and hugging them because he feels bad about it?
ABSOLUTELY, victim is extremely fucked up about this whole thing but they don't really want to hurt him when they're not sure if that thing is still running around. it doesn't really seem like he's the type to kill a person, at least not like THIS, especially not when they're that powerful.
#tommy's foolery#tommy's stickmen tag#tommy's aus#tommy's stick!alan#stick!noogai#they'd be pretty terrified of chosen in this version#but they're at least thankful noogai didn't want them to suffer in the void of nothingness...?#it's very weird because he seems so nice like this. just very nervous and scared.#which is what they wanted; they wanted him to feel scared like them#but this is different! he's sad about them dying when he... created them for suffering?#they just don't understand honestly
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LMFAO I TOOK MY MUM'S FUCKIN' JOB
#one of her old work friends just called like 'I'm so glad I caught you#I really wanted to be the one who told you!'#honestly i also like the implication that there was a pseudo-race between josie and rachel and kate about who got to tell me first lol#they're all so sweet#i am gonna gossip so hard with my mum's old work friends you don't even know#now it's time to be terrified~~~#but also this is the greatest relief#i feel like i can be a human being again#i've been unemployed so long that i may have felt a bit defective#but even my 'starting work at new job' anxiety is greatly appeased knowing that i know half my co-workers already#and if i need clarification i know they're lovely and i can always ask my mum because she worked there FOREVER#i will brace myself for all the 'Oh you're LIZZY'S daughter!'s that i know i'm gonna get#but AH i'm so relieved#and it's only part time#4 days a week so i can REALLY get back into the swing of working again#I GOT A JOB#nah fuck fear this is just RELIEF#feathers speaks#psa for anyone not up on this tho: my mother retired and I took her job AFTER it went up again#i didn't literally steal my mum's job lol
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Big Top - Buggy Pirates
And in the running for most color-clashing, obnoxious ship goes to! (Barto's and Big Mom's are the others in this category so far)
Purple heels, candystripe leggings, huge slitted skirt with the hull design, and a belt with the semicircle designs on the ship. White open-front shirt with red and yellow striped cuffs, revealing a yellow-green triangle belly warmer underneath. Starched collar and hat like the masthead, buggy ball earrings, and a red nose and facepaint reflecting that on the roger.
#honestly she terrifies me#not the most beautiful ship but they're making a name for themself#buggy needs someone to match his energy and this is what we got#i cant imagine making that headpiece would actually end well tbh#cosplay#cosplay ideas#fanart#one piece#one piece fanart#one piece fleet#big top pirates#buggy the clown
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your orchids are so cool! can we see the entire collection?
I will ABSOLUTELY show more photos of my current hyperfixation, ehehehe, thank you so much! <3 I've moved the cattleya to my eastern windowsill and my dendrobium nobile is chilling in the place of honor on the kitchen counter where my biggest bloomer at any given point in time goes, and one of my violets is also in my bedroom for some pizzazz, but the rest of the orchids and violets/streps are on this plant shelf!
She's a bit tall, so I've added the dendrobium nobile (Angel Moon 'Love Letter,' lovely but mild fragrance!) side by side to avoid stretching the dash too much, haha. I have it lit with Barrina LED lights on timers, and they have a super cozy glow, don't let my camera auto-editing the lighting to be so stark fool you.
The top row is hard to get a good zoomed out pic of because the Oncostele Red Silk 'HOF' flower spike is so damn tall, so I've cut it out of the pic since it's not blooming yet - but soon! This is where I try to keep all my currently-blooming flowers, and the oncidium takes up a ton of space at the moment... and as you may be able to see, the yellow and harlequin phalaenopsis are soon to be losing their blooms! They're both growing new leaves and roots at the moment, and the yellow phal actually has been in bloom on the same spikes for 9 months straight, which is absolutely insane. They're both no ID grocery store plants, which tend to be bred for really prolific blooms!
The second row is currently housing my blooming violet and strep, as well as my two smaller non-blooming streps. The bottom left one is actually a mini, so it will be staying in that small pot forever! One of the huge pros of violets for me is that they don't really exceed a 4" flower pot size ever, no matter if you've had them ten months or ten years.
The mini strep is Fernwood's Silhouette, the larger one is DS Riushele (google this one, the blooms are a deep purple and super frilly!), the violet is Frosty Cherry, and the far right strep is Bristol's Mascara!
The bottom row is where I try to keep my currently non-blooming orchids, but the little rescue I found at the store with most of the flower spike snapped off and one measly (and super pretty) flower left made it down there as well for lack of space, haha.
The tallest plant here is a Dancing Lady oncidium orchid that has an amazing and strong fragrance. It used to be in my kitchen and filled the whole kitchen area with its scent in the mornings! The smallest orchid in the clear pot is actually one I kidnapped (with permission) from my program director's office to rehab it, lol. I'll be giving it back once it puts out another flower spike. The big pot on the bottom right has a pure white phalaenopsis that's currently growing a new flower spike for the third time in my care, and it's a flower that my mom gave me, so it holds a special place in my heart!
Then the very top left tiny phalaenopsis orchid is just a little purple grocery store mini that had almost no roots left for a long time. It's flowered twice in my care before I messed up its roots trying to separate it from being double-potted, so I'm very proud that it's now growing a new leaf. And lastly the two violets are Cajun's Queen's Lace (left) and PT Wild Plum (right, post plant surgery).
And that's the orchids and violets! :D I actually have, uh. Checks watch. 41 plants including hoyas, nerve plants, a fiddle leaf fig, and a pothos, not to mention the aquarium garden and the edible patio plants, so this isn't actually all of them, but the rest are elsewhere in the house and aside from the ones I mentioned in the first paragraph aren't in the orchid/violet category!
#ask#personal#Anonymous#dear diary#plantblogging#long post#orchids#african violets#streptocarpus#I! Love!! Plants!!!!#I spent many years for some reason thinking flowers were super hard and I could never grow one or get it to reflower#so now I think I'm compensating in the other direction LOL#despite the number of them they're honestly not a very high maintenance hobby which is why I feel it's great for residency#I pay them more attention than I strictly need to tbh#my outside plants are more stressful#I miss watering for more than one day and they WILL fry#and I had to murder another fucking grasshopper today because those bitches love to go ham on my basil#GO AWAY THAT'S FOR ME TO EAT NOT YOU#luckily it didn't have wings yet and faced the wrath of my broom#(ps. sorry to my neighbors for the muffled terrified swearing when it jumped in my direction)
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Something else that makes me sympathetic to Pharma's situation is like. Idk if there's an actual term for this or if someone smarter and more academic wrote it about some real life context that actually matters.
But, so we've already established among Pharma stans that the circumstances at Delphi were blackmail/torture with no real way out that wouldn't involve Pharma being responsible for people getting killed (either killing patients for the deal or having everyone die bc he failed his end of the deal).
And I feel like while "he's still in the wrong because he killed people" is part of it, another sort of implicit part is the idea that Pharma should've been willing to take more personal risk, maybe even risk dying? I mean, Ratchet does ask "why didn't you just detonate it near the DJD" (to which Pharma responds that he did try to get Sonic and Boom to do it, but they refused) so like
Idk I feel like we do have this social notion of martyrs as a very romantic ideal, people you can praise for being so brave and strong and righteous that they ended their own lives for their cause, while you can also coo about how sad and tragic it is that dying is what it took for them to do the right thing. But at the same time I feel like in reality, having an expectation that people become martyrs is kind of a toxic social norm bc like. It's very easy to demand that others sacrifice their lives for some Ultimate Moral Good when you yourself aren't experiencing the same hardships as they are. And ultimately it is kind of fucked up to tell someone "the moral thing you should've done was risk your life/kill yourself" because asking someone to pay their life to do the right thing is no small request. And sure, the typical response would be to call them a "coward" for caring more about saving their own skin instead of doing the right thing... but again, death is a really scary thing and self-preservation is a really strong instinct, so it kind of feels like having this binary view of "you're either a Brave Hero who sacrifices your life for everyone else or a Dirty Coward who's too scared of dying to do what's right" is kind of fucked up?
I guess the best way to describe it is that if someone willingly gives up their life as a sacrifice to others, it can be a noble thing because it's a choice they made willingly, but if it becomes a Moral Standard that in order to be a Good Person you have to be unafraid of throwing your life away and if you aren't willing to die you're a Cowardly Bad Person, that's when it becomes toxic.
Idk, I guess how this ties back to Pharma is that he was never in a position where he expected to make these kinds of moral decisions/ultimatums. He's a doctor who doesn't even get into combat, his job is to heal and not to kill, he's behind the front lines in a hospital that's supposed to be a safe, neutral place for him to heal people. So in the face of suddenly having a "murder people on behalf of me, or I murder everyone you swore to protect" ultimatum thrust upon him, I understand why Pharma wasn't """"""""""brave enough"""""""""" to "do the right thing" (whatever that would've been in the case of Delphi). You could argue that maybe a frontliner soldier accepted the burden of possibly dying for their cause and they've become used to it as someone who lives that reality every single day, but I feel like for Pharma, who's a doctor and a protected non-combatant (from what we can tell), that sort of risking of his life/living with the fact his life could be snuffed out any day isn't something he would've been prepared for at all.
And for me personally, from an outsider's perspective, it strikes me as kind of unethical to go "oh well he should've just detonated the bomb himself even if it killed him" bc again, there's a difference between witnessing a moral conundrum as a bystander versus being the person living with it and being under time pressure where it's do-or-die. Just as part of my personal standards, I feel like death is such a huge consequence/burden of someone's actions (literally you are no longer alive, any potential you had left is cut short, you cease to exist on this plane) that it feels rather callous to go "Well you should've just been willing to die for your beliefs if you really cared that much!!!"
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#this is only like tangentially related to pharma honestly#not to compare blorbos to real life but like. it reminds me of this phenomenon where privileged ppl in privileged countries#will tell ppl living in zones of war and strife 'oh well if you don't like your gov so bad just revolt against them'#like oh yes tell me how easy it is to stand up against the threats of torture and death#surely the only reason people would want to avoid that is bc they're cowards or don't want to stand up for their beliefs#contrary to what nationalism would have ppl believe. 'wanting to not die' isn't a moral position#everyone wants to live. no one wants to die. it doesnt make you a bad person to be scared of dying#esp (going back to blorbo's) in a situation like pharma's where every option he had ended in death#the death of his patients or the death of everyone at delphi or his death personally#on top of the fact he's a noncombatant who hasn't been desensitized to violence/risking his own life#and is dealing with a trained group of killers that he can't possibly match on physical terms#so yeah actually i don't blame pharma for what he did#he made shitty decisions in a shitty situation but was ultimately a victim#also if you want to view the blackmail deal from a framework of abuse#it is also fucked up to basically tell someone they werent brave enough to just kill their accuser or ask for help#isnt the entire point of such situations that the victim is both powerless to stop the abuse#and too afraid of asking for help/thinks they cant ask for help. and thats why they dont just get out#idk sometimes the best moral judgement is to forgive someone or view it as 'complicated'#sometimes regardless of the good or evilness of their actions the best choice is to not make a judgement#or to err in favor of a forgiving/'i cant speak for your experience' judgement#anyways the fact is that the rosy fantasy of being a brave noble soldier who sacrifices for the cause#rarely stands up to reality where youre just terrified and powerless and dont know what to do#and suddenly the rosy glow of The Noble Cause isnt comforting in the prospect of horrible torturous death
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So I hit my 700th edit for the WHA wiki today, because I am a totally normal person
#For the record I have been there for. 27 days.#That makes an average of 26 edits a day which is even more terrifying because I definitely was not updating every day#Also this is for the Telepedia Wiki not the Fandom one#Anyway you should check it out!#In maybe a week because the website cache is super slow for some reason when you're not logged in#But I'm having fun#The nice thing about working on a wiki where there's actually other people doing stuff#Is that they can do the boring stuff like character bios and etc while I run around doing the fun stuff like pages on animals and plants#Anyway I was working on the Eldroxen page which are the big fluffy ox from the Silver Eve Procession#And it was so funny collecting info on them from the main series and then checking Kitchen real quick and SURPRISE! THEY'RE EATING IT!#I mean I should have expected this after having watched Dungeon Meshi and yet~~~#Also funny was that I copy+pasted the page coding for one the (food) animals as a template for this giant Mole-worm beast page but#forgot to remove the line about it being for food and afterwards had a laugh and then removed it#But now I'm like. They probably WOULD eat that sucker. Giant mole worm/snake/dragon thing? That'd feed a whole town!#Qifrey could have an entire audience watching how he'd prepare and season it#Anyway if you've been wondering where I've been that's it#Also funny story: during the Covid pandemic I stayed employed when my coworkers got let go because they needed me to catalogue an entire#new set of guided reading books; and have these sets have a digital checkout instead of the old-school card catalog we were literally still#using in 2020. Anyway I went all out with the organization of the books and the boxes and even made a reference binder for the books#via subject so teachers/tutors could find specific subjects and reading levels etc#(I'd have done a digital way to search for results but honestly half the teachers couldn't figure out how to sign in to the laptop. So.)#Anyway. Only a handful of teachers actually used these books and two years later the school switched to a new reading program#that came with its own set of books and lessons so this 10k reading set was essentially unneeded (and my dear coworkers never got rehired)#Anyway I learned last week that they're clearing out that room and all of those barely-used books are getting thrown out ๐๐๐๐๐#Isn't that funny#Literally everything is just sandcastles built in the surf#I'm so glad I already accepted this during my pumpkin carving years because otherwise I think I'd be upset#Anyway I'm gonna go play my spooky fishing game
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Thirteen with a support item switch-up. Ghostbusters gun.
who ya gonna call?
#mha thirteen#ask#mha#ghostbusters#the au no one expected#honestly can you imagine the staff for this#training the next generation of ghostbusters#youve got all might with years of field experience but no idea how to explain any of it so he just throws children at ghosts and says gl#midnight is like a compendium of all the types of ghosts you might face but her lifelong mission is 100% to marry a ghost not lock them up#well. shes definitely also locking them up. it IS midnight#mic is terrified of them and always gets stuck playing bait bc hes loud#aizawa doesnt believe in ghosts. genuinely. fights them every other day and sees them in the news 24/7#hes certain its got a logical explanation and they're definitely just zapping normal criminals with weirdly similar quirks#thirteen doesnt need the gun.#but the gun has made her vastly more dangerous. to ghosts at least
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made the mistake of trying to draw my scugs in. the notes app. oh god im so sorry little guys
#They're so......... lumpy.........#People who draw with their fingers are terrifying I think#rain world#Technically#Barely honestly#my art#God why does spearmaster look so. Bedraggled#various meanderings
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