#they're having their own relationship that no human would understand | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

antianakin · 1 day ago

Text

I'm gonna toss your tags on here, too, since I'm kind-of responding to that, as well.

The amount of times I started an AU and it went WILDLY in a different direction than I thought are too numerous to count. Half the time I start an AU it's out of some level of bitterness or spite towards something I didn't like and then I spend a lot of time on those questions that are like "Wait would this character ACTUALLY do that? Is that ACTUALLY how they'd likely react?" and of course the most frustrating "Is that actually how I WANT them to react?"

My Caretaker Luke AU was supposed to basically be a very bitter answer to the question of what would happen if Vader actually survived ROTJ, and then ultimately it became an exploration of what might actually help Anakin HEAL in that situation, what would it take to truly help someone like him genuinely come back from that darkness he'd stewed in for almost three decades (because no matter what kind of sacrifices he made, there's NO WAY he'd be completely snapped back to being a good person if he survived, that bitch is STRUGGLING). I made an Obitine AU that looked at how miserable Obi-Wan would've been if he'd actually stayed with Satine and married her when he was in his teens and that ALSO ended up with an exploration of how to save Anakin (though for different reasons this time). Sometimes these fuckers have a mind of their own and the more I take myself down that rabbit hole the further from my original concept I seem to get. It's not always a bad thing, often it's still really fun, but it's such a weird experience to look back at all this work you've done and not quite understand how you even GOT here when this isn't where you thought you were going when you started.

I made a point in the last AU I came up with to just... ignore some of those questions to focus on what I WANTED to happen (in this case, I was ignoring how Padme realized Anakin wasn't good for her and how she managed to actually escape him and that relationship and what path Anakin went down afterwards as a result because I just wanted to focus on Padme's NEW relationship and how that helped HER heal). Why did things happen? Because I wanted them to, next question.

And while I'm not a writer really by any means, it seems like a lot of writing is just... finding a balance between following that rabbit hole and seeing where it leads, and knowing when to say "This thing happens because I want it to in order for the next thing to happen." Not everything NEEDS an explanation, but it can help YOU to flesh out the culture and its intricacies and where certain traditions and feelings came from in order to lend a feeling of authenticity to the story even if you never actually explain any of it in the final draft. Even if you don't end up using any of the purity culture stuff you put in your last reblog, hopefully it was still helpful to think about how you might answer some of those questions and work through what parts are important to keep and which parts you think ultimately don't work.

I found your thoughts on how the clones might end up feeling about the idea that their "species" as such might eventually disappear really interesting! I also personally tend to think of them as their own "species" in a lot of ways, but that's usually for my own internal purposes rather than a way to consider how the CLONES think of themselves. I often have only really considered how the clones differentiate themselves in terms of their lived experiences and not necessarily in terms of their physical differences. They're obviously visibly human and would pass as human to most people and I imagine there's probably plenty of clones who would prefer to simply be considered a slightly augmented human rather than considered a whole separate species, while other clones would prefer the opposite.

I really respect your willingness to consider how the clones might end up with problematic values as a result of their experiences, to give them qualities you would personally consider unlikable. I'm not quite as good at that, so I really admire the way you work through some of that, even if you ultimately decide you don't like it and don't want to use it in your worldbuilding.

I've decided that Rex is the one who paints Kanan's eye mask with his bird of prey design.

Kanan's feeling pretty low still just after Malachor, he's still distancing himself from everybody, and Rex decides to go try to talk to him at one point and the first thing he comes up with to say is to point out that his new mask is pretty plain. It's awkward, he regrets it immediately, but then Kanan says that it gets the job done and Rex is abruptly reminded of himself so so long ago back at the beginning of the war.

He sits Kanan down and tells him a story about how, at the beginning of the war, only a few of the clones had paint on their armor, to designate things like rank and battalion in order to make it easier for officers to find them in the middle of a busy battlefield. The paint was practical and it was limited to a very select few. But the Jedi almost immediately started trying to encourage the clones to utilize the paint less sparingly, suggesting that maybe everybody could wear at least a LITTLE paint and use more individualized designs so that it was still easy to tell the commanders and captains apart from the others when needed.

Some of the clones had taken to it with gusto, but others had been more hesitant, and Rex remembers having been one of them. He remembers telling Obi-Wan that there was no real REASON to paint everyone's armor and especially not to come up with personal designs. The armor was practical and it served its purpose with or without the paint and special designs. But the Jedi had insisted on at least TRYING to come up with his own design and if he didn't like it, he could always take it off, so Rex had given in and chosen something to paint on the armor. And, somehow, it felt a little lighter the next time he put it on. It didn't erase the horrors of war or the pain of loss or anything like that, but it helped.

He tells Kanan that the mask right now is just a reminder of the pain of the injury and whatever other feelings he's still got all caught up in the Malachor mission (guilt over what happened with Ezra, grief over Ahsoka's loss). But if he puts his own design on it, it might turn the mask into something other than a constant reminder of something bad. Instead, it's a reminder of who he is, the combination of the person he once was and who he's become. He is more than just his injury or this mission and he can use the mask to declare that if he wants to.

Kanan says he never realized Rex and the other clones had cared so deeply about their armor and Rex says that the armor itself was meaningless. It's better than what's being handed out to stormtroopers, but not but a LOT. It was the design on it that had meant something and, more than that, it was what the design REPRESENTED: having a choice about how you were perceived by others.

Kanan asks why Rex had chosen his particular designs, the bird of prey eyes on his helmet in particular. Rex explains that he chose it because he liked birds and thought it looked cool, but he's kept the helmet for as long as he has because it's come to mean something ELSE now. It's not just a cool-looking design, it's a reminder of a better time in his life. It's a reminder of when he'd been a part of something greater than himself, with the other clones and the Jedi. It's a reminder of a time when he'd had hope that he and his people could one day come out the other side of this war towards a brighter future.

Kanan looks at the mask he'd grabbed from storage somewhere or something just to keep light from hurting his eyes as they recovered and to cover up the injury from other people's stares (even if he couldn't see them staring), then hands it to Rex and asks if Rex minds sharing that symbol because he'd like a reminder of that, too. Rex remembers the 332nd and their helmets that they'd painted to look like their chosen Jedi, almost blindly giving away their individuality in favor of that loyalty that had been stripped from them anyway. And then he looks at Kanan, choosing to make himself look LIKE REX, someone who had shared his face with millions once, because he wants to honor both the connections he'd lost as well as this new connection the two of them have built together now. And Rex says he'd be happy to share.

#clones #clone culture

67 notes · View notes

loriache · 7 months ago

Text

Kabru, impossible mutual understanding & unknowable objects

Despite his concerted and constant efforts to understand other people, it’s established in a few extras that Kabru believes that true mutual understanding between certain different races is impossible. Specifically, between long-lived and short-lived races, and between humans and demi-humans. Partially, we can trace this conviction back to specific hang-ups caused by his life; the trauma of the Utaya disaster, prejudices he carries from his childhood, and his experience of racism among the elves. In this “little” essay, I’m gonna discuss how I think those experiences formed this belief, how it comes out in his actions, and how some of his actions seem to contradict it. The question of whether it’s possible to reach mutual understanding with other living beings despite our differences is one of the core themes of the manga, and I’ll also touch on how this aspect of Kabru’s character links to that.

Seeking understanding

Kabru is a character who devotes a huge amount of time and effort to understanding people, and he is very good at it. In his internal monologue, we can tell how advanced and complex his skills of analysis are. He is able to read a huge amount of information just from looking at people's faces and body language.

People are, to him, what monsters are to Laios. This is something that's been expanded on at length in other, excellent meta. It's the fact that they're foils; it's the fact that Kabru is also very easy to read as autistic, with a special interest which is the opposite and parallel of Laios'. It's something that came out of trauma and alienation, as Laios' special interest in monsters also began as a coping mechanism.

The complicated origin of this "love" for monsters and for people comes through, I think, in the fact that one of the places we see both characters use their fixation is in being very, very good at killing the thing that they love. This also ties into the idea that loving something isn't even remotely mutually exclusive with using it to sustain your own survival; using it for your own purposes; hurting it or killing it. Love can be, and often is, violent, possessive and consumptive. This understanding is part of what makes Kui's depiction of interpersonal relationships so compelling to me.

While Laios fixated on monsters and animals to seek a place of escape, in both his imagination and his self-image, from the humans who he couldn't understand and who couldn't understand him, Kabru seems to have fixated on understanding people in order to navigate the complex, socially marginal places that he has been forced into throughout his life. As an illegitimate child raised by a single mother with an appearance that marked him out as different to the point his father's family wanted to kill him, and a tallman child raised among elves who didn't treat him as fully human and wanted him to perform gratefulness for that treatment – treatment that, after he met Rin at age 9, he certainly always understood could be a lot worse – his ability to work out what people wanted from him, whether they were friendly or hostile or had ulterior motives, wasn’t just an interest. It will have been an essential skill.

Milsiril, I think, was a flawed parent who tried to do her best by Kabru and did a lot of harm to him despite her best intentions. She may have treated him much better than an average elf would have, but like Otta and Marcille's mother, there are other elves with different outlooks on short-lived races. How would they judge her treatment of him? We don’t have any insight on what it could be, but to be honest, the person’s whose opinion of her I’d be most interested in knowing is Rin’s.

But even if she'd been perfect, living as an trans-racial adoptee in a deeply hierarchical nation with a queen who is a 'staunch traditionalist' who wouldn't even acknowledge the existence of a half-elf like Marcille (according to Cithis) is an experience that would deeply impact anyone.

Elves & Impossible mutual understanding

While Kabru was living with Milsiril - in other words, while living in the Northern Central Continent - he came to believe that "there was no way to achieve mutual understanding with the long-lived races."

This is evident in his political project: he wants short-lived races to have ownership over the dungeon's secrets. Despite his dislike of the Lord of the Island, he's a useful bulwark to stop the elves taking over. Despite his doubts about Laios, Laios needs to be the one to defeat the dungeon, because if he doesn't the elves will take over.

Kabru still carries a deep scar from Utaya, one that was exacerbated by the fact that he never got an answer to any of his questions about what happened or why. This, despite the fact that Milsiril knows about the demon and how it works. Do you think Kabru, with his social perceptiveness that borders on the superhuman, wasn't aware that she knew more than she would tell him?

Given that, the fact that he gets to a place where he "doesn't have any particularly negative feelings about [elves/long-lived species]" .... well, to put it bluntly, I believe that he thinks that's the case, but I kind of doubt it. After all, if he did have resentment, of Milsiril (someone who was his primary provider and caretaker since age six, and who despite her flaws, loves him and who I do think he loves) or of elves (who he has had to play nice with for most of his life, in order to survive, and will still have to play nice with in order to achieve his goals, since they hold all the power) what would that do except hurt him and make his life harder? Kabru is Mr. Pragmatic, so I don't think he'd let himself acknowledge any such feelings he did have. Exactly because he can't acknowledge them, they're well placed to get internalised as beliefs about the Fundamental Unchangeable Nature of the World.

However, these stated beliefs seem to contradict his actions. Despite his belief in the impossibility of forming a mutual understanding, he certainly seems to try to understand long-lived people, just as much as he does short-lived people. There's no noticeable difference between his treatment of Daya & Holm versus Mickbell & Rin that isn't clearly down to their relationship with him. His skills of human analysis were honed and developed while living amongst elves, and as soon as he's alone with Mithrun he immediately sets to understanding him - his interests, his motivations, his needs, and his past.

He treats him considerately and without bias, and despite the fact that Mithrun conquering the dungeon for the elves is both a reenactment of a core part of his childhood trauma and a political disaster for his aims, that doesn't seem to colour his perspective on Mithrun negatively at all.

This is something I find extremely laudable about Kabru, and it's another way he parallels Laios. He seems to understand that people, as a rule, (in Laios' case, he understands this about monsters - and eventually, all living beings) will act in their own interests, and if those interests conflict with yours, might harm you. But that's just their nature, and it's not something that should be held against them; you're also doing the same thing, after all. The crux of Laios' arc is precisely that he has to accept the responsibility of hurting someone else in order to achieve what he wants.

Kabru is deeply concerned with his own morals, what he should and shouldn't do, but mostly in the context of responsibility for the consequences - a responsibility he takes onto himself. He isn't scrupulous about what he needs to do in order to create the outcome he wants, but if he fails to create that outcome, then....

He blames himself to the point of thinking he should die. He doesn't blame Laios, or seem at all angry with him, despite concluding he should have killed him to prevent this outcome. That's because in his eyes, ultimately Laios was going to act according to his own nature, and it's Kabru's fault for not understanding that nature well enough. He's extremely confident in his ability to understand and predict others, (including elves and other long-lived people). Then, where does his conviction that mutual understanding is impossible come from?

Partially, it's the "mutual" part. I'm sure Kabru, who isn't able or willing to deny Otta's insinuation that Milsiril saw him more like a pet than a son, has felt that his full interiority, the depth of his feelings and his ability to grow, act, and think as a fully equal being, was something that the elves around him just couldn't grasp. Because that was their excuse for it, he came to understand this as a gulf between short-lived and long-lived beings, an inevitable difference in outlook caused by their different lifespans.

This experience might be part of what leads to his iconic “fake” behaviour. He trusts his ability to understand others, but if they aren’t able to understand him, then there isn’t any benefit to being honest about his feelings and thoughts. If his attempts to reach mutual understanding with his caretakers were never able to be fulfilled, then it isn’t any wonder that he reacts with such surprise and horror at blurting out his desire to be Laios’ friend.

In his experience, making yourself vulnerable in that way only leads to being hurt. Soothing him, hushing him, lying to him, talking to him like a child that isn’t able to use proper judgement – that’s an inadequate and deeply hurtful way to respond to genuine distress, the desire for autonomy, or disagreement. Ultimately, I think that’s why he comes out on the side of being grateful to Milsiril; because she did equip him with the skills and knowledge he’d need to reach his goal, and let him go.

Though he could understand them, they couldn't understand him. To the extent that was true - which I'm sure it was - it wasn't due to anything about lifespan. It was due to the elves’ racism, and the solipsitic mindset & prejudiced attitude that it caused them to approach him with.

Because, if it needs to be said, the idea that there is an unbreachable gap in understanding between the long-lived and short-lived species is not true. Marcille and Laios have a much greater difference in lifespan than any full elf from any short-lived person, and they’re able to understand each other – maybe not perfectly, but better than many other people who are closer in life-span to them.

That doesn’t mean that I think Kabru is wrong about this, however. Because there’s an interpretation of his statement that is reflected in his actions and is true. When he talks about his problem with elves, it’s not just their attitudes: it’s their power, and what they use it to do. They “explain nothing and take everything”. Though it’s presented in the guise of ‘guiding and protecting’, in fact it’s a simple case of a powerful nation using their military power, wealth, access to resources, and historically stolen land – including the island itself – to protect their own interests and advance their own agenda. That’s why they’d be able to show up, seize the dungeon, and forcibly take Kabru’s party and Laios’ party to the West. If Kabru wants to stop that from happening, or change that status quo, persuasion or a bid to be understood would be completely pointless. Between the political blocs formed by long-lived species and the interests of short-lived species, “mutual understanding”, given their current, unequal terms, would be impossible. This is something that we see reflected in Kabru’s actions; before he asks his questions about the dungeon, he grabs Mithrun as leverage. He never really attempts to persuade the canaries to see his point of view, because that would be pointless: they’re agents of the Northern Central Continent’s monarchy, and will act in its interests regardless of any individual relationship with him.

I don’t think Kabru sees the different dimensions of this belief of his in quite such clear terms, however, as is evidenced by the other group who he thinks it’s impossible to communicate with.

Demi-Humans & Unknowable Objects

The other place that we see his conviction about the impossibility of mutual understanding is in the kobold extra.

I'm including the whole thing, because I think it's an excellent and clever piece of world-building. Aside from what it says about Kabru, which I'll expand on shortly, what this extra does is deconstruct and call into question the usual "fantasy ontological biology" present in these sort of DnD-like settings. Essentially, the kind of worldbuilding where a race (such as kobolds) can be described as war-like, and that's establishing something essential about their biological nature. That's common to the point that if Kui didn't include this, some people would probably come away thinking that's the case about, e.g., the orcs.

But here, despite what Kabru is saying, the information the reader actually gets is:

the conflict between short-lived humans and demi-humans such as kobolds is mostly over access to material resources that they need to survive.

These resources are scarce because powerful nations, such as the elves, have monopolised them.

Kabru, who has grown up in a place at the centre of these conflicts, ascribes essential, negative traits to a cultural group which was in direct conflict with his own. Communication with this other group is impossible; they aren't people, they're more like objects.

oh yes! just like this conflict between groups of tall-men, a conflict which the reader will immediately interpret as more clearly analogous to real-life racism. Our other protagonists also carry prejudices from growing up in a place where a marginalised group was in conflict with the dominant group over scarce resources. It's definitely impossible to communicate with these people, and you can only kill them.

Woah, when you say it like that, it sounds pretty bad!

But also, nobody walks away having had a realisation or unlearned their prejudices - because they don't have the tools they need to do that work. Yet. I do think, to an extent, it could happen - especially with Kabru, since it's suggested in the epilogue that Melini might become a safe-haven for demi-humans.

To focus in on Kabru, the key here is his statement that you should think of demi-humans as "unknowable objects". Even his extraordinary powers of understanding have seemingly hit a limit. Part of this is just inherited prejudice, and doesn't need to have a complicated psychological explanation, any more than the elves who were prejudiced against him need one.

But also... this is probably somewhat linked to the way demi-humans seem to be considered "pseudo-monsters". They're the place that the strict delineation between the human and the monstrous is permeated. Laios, who is not interested in humans, remembers and is excited by Kuro. Chilchuck and Laios argue over whether it's OK to eat a mermaid. Kabru's prepared to (pretend to) roll with the idea that Laios ate the orcs.

But these are people, aren't they? Of course, this is a social construction, as we see from the fact that in the Eastern Archipelago, the label of "human" is reserved for tallmen, but in most of the rest of the world it depends on some obviously arbirary classification based on number of bones; "demi-humans" aren't in any essential way monstrous, except to an extent in their appearance, and physical location - due to their marginal social status, they're pushed out to live in unsafe places such as dungeons.

Therefore, Kabru's view of demi-humans as fundamentally "other", unable to be understood - monstrous - could be read as akin to abjection, the psychoanalytical concept described by Julia Kristeva. In order to create a bounded, secure superego, that thing which permeates and calls into question the border between self and other, human and animal, life and death, is rejected and pushed to the margin.

“Not me. Not that. But not nothing, either. A "something" that I do not recognize as a thing.[...] On the edge of nonexistence and hallucination, of a reality that, if I acknowledge it, annihilates me. There, abject and abjection are my safeguards. The primers of my culture.” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 11) “It is thus not lack of cleanliness or health that causes abjection but what disturbs identity, system, order. ” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 13) “The pure will be that which conforms to an established taxonomy; the impure, that which unsettles it, establishes intermixture and disorder. [...] the impure will be those that do not confine themselves to one element but point to admixture and confusion.” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 107) (discussing food prohibitions in Leviticus)

This is both (due to its affinity with food-loathing and disgust) a very fruitful concept to apply to dunmeshi, and a psychoanalytical theory which I wouldn't exactly cosign as True Facts About Human Psychological Development. You may also know the abject from its utilisation in the classic essay "Horror and the Monstrous-Feminine" by Barbara Creed - that's a lot more approachable than Kristeva if anyone's interested.

Key here, though, is that through the symbol of the "demi-human" is embodied a step between "human" and "monster" - and that's a prospect that puts at risk the whole notion of an absolute separation between those two categories in the first place. To Laios, that's something wonderful, and to Kabru, it's terrifying. We can see this principle further embodied in the relationship both characters have with the notion of becoming monstrous.

To Laios, this is transcendent, and represents a renunciation of everything human - in fact, if it didn't, it wouldn't "count".

To Kabru, it's a deeply-held fear, established by his childhood alienation (due to his illegitimacy, his eyes, and perhaps also his neurodivergency), deepened by monster-related trauma and the sense of responsibility and survivors guilt he feels for what happened at Utaya. His identity as a human who is not monstrous is key to his sense of stability and safety; he doesn't want to touch monsters, he doesn't even want to see them.

To acknowledge a kinship, a possibility of similarity between the things he loves (humans) and the things he hates (monsters) would be more than touching them - it would be putting them inside him. We know, quite explicitly, that this notion is triggering to Kabru. He literally has what seems to be a flashback when he's about to eat the harpy omelette.

So he abjects it, classifying the demi-human as fundamentally unlike him - an unknowable object, or an object that he refuses to know. Because in understanding it, he would interject the things he hates and fears into his self, which is already, always under threat by that hated and feared object.

Of course, again, Kabru isn't very good at enacting this refusal in practice. For one, when he chooses between his desires and ingesting the feared object, eating monsters... he eats monsters. Part of this is treating himself badly, the "ends justify the means" mentality. His goal is to destroy all monsters, so if he needs to become monster-like to do that, he will. But part of it is also the other motivation that he didn't even seem to know about until he said it: he wants to become Laios' friend, and to learn from him how a person can like monsters. He wants, at least in some part of him, to reconcile the feared and hated object into something he can understand.

For another:

Kabru can speak the kobold language. In the first place, while this may have been common in Utaya, it also could have been something he chose to learn, an early expression of his interest in understanding and talking to all sorts of people. It isn't the kind of thing you learn if you believe that communication between yourself and the group that speak it is impossible, is it?

It's possible to harbour prejudices against a group while being kind to an individual, and given Kabru has those prejudices regardless of his reasons, that is what he is doing. But also, his treatment of Kuro doesn't reflect a sincerely held belief that he's an "unknowable object" at all. His approach is exactly the same as it is to any other person: an analysis of goal and motive, and an attempt to help if he's sympathetic and their goals align - going out of his way to give language and local knowledge lessons in secret. His conviction that Mickbell and Kuro will truly become friends when they can properly communicate is completely contradictory to any sense of demi-humans as fundamentally different, or impossible to reach mutual understanding with. To me, it seems like this self-protective shield against the corruptive force demi-humans as an idea present to his identity, this abjection, when Kabru is face-to-face with one, just simply can't hold up against his finely honed skill of intellectual empathy. Perhaps because he's autistic, it seems his "empathy" is less an emotional mirror response, and more a set of cognitive skills for analysis of others. That instinctual, emotional empathy might not trigger when presented with a member of an out-group, but if it’s possible for Kabru to turn his cognitive empathy off, we don’t see him do it.

This isn't to say that this prejudice doesn't affect his behaviour. For one, it could negatively impact his judgement of politics and policy, where individual people don't enter into it. For another, I'm not convinced he'd be willing to overlook Mickbell's exploitative relationship with Kuro if Kuro wasn't a kobold. As it is, since both of them are satisfied, he doesn't feel like he needs to intervene, regardless of the fact Mickbell isn't paying Kuro. But if Daya and Holm were in a relationship, and Holm took both Daya's and his own share from their ventures, but only compensated her in living expenses and kept the rest, do you think he'd tolerate it, for example? Even if she said it was OK?

Conclusion

The kelpie chapter establishes that "people can never know what monsters are really thinking." That isn't just true of monsters, though.

True mutual understanding is impossible - between anyone. We can never truly understand another person's heart. This is touched on in, for example, the existence of shapeshifters and dopplegangers. Even a monster that seemed like a perfect copy of a person wouldn’t be that person, and wouldn’t be a satisfactory replacement.

We’re intended, I think, to understand the winged lion's repeated suggestions to just replace people who have been lost with copies as something uncanny, which demonstrates the way that the winged lion never manages to attain a complete understanding of humans. A version of a person who was created to fulfil your memories of them, to be the person who you wanted them to be, would be a terrible, miserable thing.

Disagreeing, coming into conflict, and misunderstanding each other, are essential parts of what it means to be living beings, as fundamental as the need to eat.

The only thing to do is not to take more than you need to eat to survive, and not impose your own desires onto others. To do your best to sincerely communicate your desires, even if they're embarrassing or vulnerable or strange, like Kabru eventually does with Laios; like Laios does, bit by bit, with the people around him; like Marcille does, Chilchuck does, Senshi does... to hope they will accept you, and do your best to understand them in return.

We can re-examine, in that context, Kabru's line about the elves' tendency to "explain nothing and take everything".

They have the power to impose their preferred "menu" onto less powerful groups. And in that context, mutual understanding being impossible just means that they won't give up their power because they're asked nicely. Kabru's goal is to seize the truth that they won't give to him, and to create a situation where they can't take everything. Because he's accurately surmised that nothing about the treatment of short-lived races will change so long as the power imbalance remains. Despite the way he mistakenly ascribes part of that to "long-lived vs short-lived" or "human vs demi-human", the actual gulfs in understanding he identifies are structural, are about power and about access to material resources and safety.

I think he could come to recognise this. Yaad is teaching him political science after all, and while a prince's lessons on political science won't exactly get at much that's radical or invested in the interests and perspectives of the marginalised (Capital is a critique of for a reason after all...) I believe in Kabru's ability to learn critically and get more from a lesson than it was intended to teach.

#og post #kabru of utaya #kabru dungeon meshi #laios touden #dungeon meshi meta #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #dungeon meshi analysis #kuro dungeon meshi #the canaries #milsiril #continuing to develop my kabru theses.#literally sitting and thinking about kabru all day. rotating him.#he's in the microwave. to me.

2K notes · View notes

monstrousmuse · 7 months ago

Text

Some of my favourite excerpts from the second part of the interview:

“We know psychologically that Ford is not travelling this path alone. He’s travelling it with his Muse, who he has a very complex and fucked up relationship with. And even in Ford’s private thoughts, he would not say ‘I’m alone’, he would say ‘oh, I have a very important relationship in my life with Bill, but I don’t have a friend. (…) Ford is not alone in his mind, even though he is extraordinarily alone.”

…

“The things that Ford said as McGucket left weren't "I value you and I'm sorry we have a difference of opinion," it was "get the hell out of here you hillbilly, you don't understand science!" (…) He was really cruel to McGucket. He was cold to him, and they did not talk for thirty more years after that.(…) But we knew that if McGucket created the memory gun after their break up, there could be no explanation of it in the journal. (…) And he so wants to please Ford. (…) McGucket doesn't really know what's going on, but he's internalizing and thinking, "I just need to be a better partner.’”

…

“To me, the greatest compliment that I can receive as a creator is somebody saying "this resonated with me." Our goal is to make characters that have a human truth in them (…) My feeling is that the customer is always right. Like, if the character is gay to you, they're gay. (…) That's sort of the magic of fiction.. (…) That's the hope. My feeling is that if we do our job, people feel a truth and they connect to it.”

…

“Ford was a very challenging character to conceive. (…) We knew his job narratively was to give Stan the biggest chip on his shoulder that we could think of. (…) He has to be smarter than Stan. He has to be fitter, and better at fighting than Stan too. He's not gonna be some little shrinking nerd. It would be a pretty fair fight between him and Stan (…) Ford has the formal training, and Stan just has the madness.”

“You know the damage someone's family has done to them by all of their weird tics and behaviors. (….) Who is the character who would result in Stan being this hurt and needy and mad and also longing?”

“We came up with this guy who kinda seemed too perfect. He's aloof, and distant, and he's too perfect. And it's like, "oh, I think he's also aloof and distant from himself." (…) I think he is deeply, deeply hiding from his real feelings about things, because at some point early on, he decided that he could run from hurt by achievement and by creation, and has dug that hole so deep that he has no relationships. He doesn't have friendships, he doesn't have romantic relationships, he is someone trapped in a tower of his own mind and estranged.”

“Ford shows none of that. He has sublimated himself romantically so, so deeply. (…) I really thought of Ford kind of like Tesla in that realm.”

-Alex Hirsch, 2023

…

part one

#gravity falls #alex hirsch #bill cipher #stanford pines #ford pines #stanley pines #stan pines #billford #fiddauthor #the implications and connotations here are just…#‘ford pines is gay confirmed’#this is some truly profound stuff. hirsch…

1K notes · View notes

miraculouslbcnreactions · 4 months ago

Note

Do you think it's weird that I was fine with Roxas finding out he was Sora's Nobody in Kingdom Hearts, but Adrien not being what we thought he was triggered my ick factor a lot? Do you think it's because we learned that about Roxas before we had a lot of time to get attached to him?

I was initially going to say that I can't answer this because I've only played Kingdom Hearts 1, so my knowledge of the later games is pretty limited. Then I remembered that my little brother is both obsessed with those games and the Mycroft to my Sherlock*, so I gave him a call and got the expert opinion (and a reminder that I need to play the Kingdom Hearts games so that my brother can talk about them with someone who understands story telling because those games apparently make a lot of... interesting choices.)

Here is the sum of my brother's analysis:

The two properties handled the concept of personhood and artificial beings in such wildly different ways that it would never even occur to him to compare them (though it was an interesting question once posed). A good portion of the later Kingdom Hearts games revolve around asking what a person even is. Should they try to make the Nobodies into people? Do the Nobodies even need to change to be people or are they people already? What makes Roxas different from other Nobodies? These questions start being asked very early on and, for all the story's flaws, you can tell that the writers are aware that they're dealing with a serious topic and that they're trying to do it justice.

Meanwhile, Miraculous introduces artificial beings who don't have true free will and then... completely ignores all of the ethical implications of that plot point. Emilie and Gabriel are good parents. The fact that the heroes have been killing off sentimonsters isn't concerning. Gabriel's commands are just a minor inconvenience to Adrienette and not anything that needs to be explored in a deeper way. He's still totally redeemable and it's fine that Adrien never learned the truth while his father was alive so that he could decide what that meant for their relationship on his own terms.

Given all of that, it's really not shocking that Kingdom Hearts makes you feel invested while Miraculous repulses you because the Miraculous introduced human sentimonsters for cheap shock value to the point where I firmly believe that it was a retcon. Meanwhile Kingdom Hearts planned major elements of the plot around the concept and set it up right from the start of the second game. If Miraculous had done the same kind of thing, then I doubt that most salters would be deeply upset by the concept. They still might dislike it, but it would be seen more as a matter of taste than as a true flaw.

*For those who don't know, Mycroft Holmes is Sherlock Holmes' older brother. Sherlock openly admits that Mycroft is the smarter and more observant of the two siblings. The same can be said of my sibling when it comes to story telling. Everything I can do, he can do just as well or even better. He's never seen miraculous, but knows the major plot beats from a mix of cultural osmosis and reading the occasional fanfic when an author he likes crosses fandoms. He is highly amused that no one he follows does anything save for fix-it type stuff and says it tells him everything he needs to know about canon's writing quality, an assessment I fully agree with.

#tallwriter #ml writing critical #ml writing salt

521 notes · View notes

etheries1015 · 10 months ago

Note

I had sort of a crack idea of what would the non-human twst boys do if their crush or s/o was allergic to them? Savanaclaw and Octonivelle with like the fur allergy and seafood allergy. Maybe diasomnia’s s/o has some sort of fairy allergy? Sorry if this is too silly for you to write, it’s alright if you don’t 😭

I LOVE THIS BECAUSE I'VE HAD A SIMILAR THOUGHT i'm allergic to cats and i'm like...man what am I gonna do around Grim BUAHAHA...this is a great idea. Nothing is too silly to write my friend!

Non-human Twst boys reacting to a S/O who is allergic to them!

featuring: Savanaclaw and Octavinelle!

general warnings: gender neutral reader, not really proof read \

TW: None! just fluff. and allergies.

Leona

The first time you sneezed around him, they didn't know it was literally BECAUSE of him. This was until you two took a nap together for the first time, and when you woke up he saw your face...Oh, brother. Your eyes were puffy and red, congested, and your nose leaked like nobody's business. He genuinely felt bad about this, but wouldn't let you in on his true feelings/emotions. Without understanding the cause (though he had an inkling) he immediately took you to the doctor.

"They're allergic to me? What kind of shitty nonsense is that?!"

Leona invested in the most expensive of healthcare for you. Allergy pills and whatnot, because he wasn't about to sacrifice his lovely naps with his significant other. No amount of allergy is gonna stop him from getting what he wants, and that is your affection.

Ruggie

"Sooo...basically you're saying you're allergic to me? Cause' im part heyena?"

"It's a little more complicated than that. It's more like...animal dander? I guess?" You didn't seem to certain in your answer either, it was more or less a guess since...well, there wasn't half beast half human where you are from. You can only make an educated guess on why you're so allergic to him based off of the information you had back at home.

Ruggie is honestly so sad about this. He can't afford to get you any treatments or medical help with this, so you two just have to be careful. He does manage to get his hands on some special washing products (probably legally) and takes extra care of what he eats, and how clean he his. He's consistently brushing his hair and cleaning his ears.

"Man i'm such a simp. What's wrong with me?!" ...He isn't used to bending backward for people. But seeing you so sick around him, hurt him even more than his pride, so he of course would do anything to make sure you're as comfortable around him as possible. Ahh...the power of love <3

Jack

He gives me the "I must stay away from you for your own good," Type. Although this doesn't last very long. Jack is incredibly loyal, and he's far too attached to let you go. There's times where he would try and keep a distance (much to your annoyance), but when you began sneezing and itching your eyes you knew he was somewhere nearby. Jack is protective like that, but it pains his heart to see you so sick because of something he cannot control.

He does both a mix of what Ruggie and Leona does. He took up extra part-time jobs to afford good allergy medication for you, the entire works. Pills, eye drops, nasal sprays, breathing treatments...He also invests in high-quality shampoo and conditioner to help rid of his dander and hopefully reduce the amount of shedding he has.

With the amount of hair Jack has, he is CONSTANTLY brushing it and it is CONSTANTLY shedding. He does EVERYTHING under the sun to control this, all for you. Although... this is a partnership! You told him that a relationship goes two ways. You love him regardless of how itchy you may get, and you equally chip in to problem-solve.

You're both loyal to each other until the very end, no matter what trivial matters may get in your way <3

Azul

He knew before you two started dating that you had a severe allergy to seafood, so he made it a point to avoid you. But...that didn't stop YOU from coming to HIM. It was one of the things that drew him towards you, the way even though you were gaining a rash you would still wrap your arms around the back of him. Although it wasn't as bad in his human form, he was always terrified what would happen if he were to unleash his original form.

But worry not! We are talking about the literal king of potionology. He finds a remedy very quickly, and you trust him...a little too fast. He is astonished when he says;

"Take this...the second you drink this your allergies will be something of the past. But be warned-" You grabbed it out of his hand and chugged it. He stared at you with his jaw slacked open, his face turning a deep shade of hot red when you throw yourself onto Azul and place a big fat kiss against his cheek.

He imploded. But hey! his potion worked! He tried to get you to give him some sort of paypack, but you mentioned that your form of payment was in that kiss.

He now demands kisses every time he makes the potion for you <3 It's kind of a silent agreement. He just stares at you after you're done drinking it, and whenever you feign ignorance the point upon his lips is far too obvious.

Jade

The first time you broke out in hives, he remained completely calm. Jade is rather smart, and he understands your allergy must be because of his disposition as a mer-folk. Although in human form, he couldn't help but notice the way you would hide your rashes either behind makeup or by bulking clothing. He was amused by this for a moment, but when he saw it worsen he couldn't help but become worried.

"Why would you go so far for me? what do you gain by allowing yourself to become sick?" When you replied with a blush that you simply liked Jade, thus his shock soon turned into action. He excused himself for a few days to climb mountains and collect the most effective of flowers and medicinal remedies for allergies and put together a potion that you were able to take to alleviate your symptoms.

He isn't the vice house warden for nothing! His talents and magic prowess truly aided him, albeit in a way that was seemingly selfish. It was all worth it for you, though.

But he does use you as an example during a class project in potionology, having you stand up in front of the class while he compares your allergies before and after taking the potion.

He got a 100% in the project. And a Significant other. A win-win for everyone!

Floyd

Floyd is much smarter than he lets on. The moment he hugs you from behind and touches your arm, he notices the rash right away. He eyed it with a frown, and without saying anything he let go of you much to your dismay, leaving you to your lonesome for a few days on end.

You had to admit you missed Floyd, his silly jokes and way of talking, his unpredictable personality, and the attention he would often give y you. While sitting at the table during a free period, your head was propped up against your hand and a sad sigh escaping your lips.

"Ehhhh? Why is shrimpy sitting here all alone? Didya miss me?" A familiar voice teased as arms wrapped around you and something akin to a vegetable drink set in front of you. You gasped and smile up at the tall male, who wasn't wrapping his arms around you as you were used to, typically ignoring the itching of your rashes. He convinced you to drink what he sat in front of you, and although you eyed it with suspicion, you sighed and drank it in one gulp and tightly shut eyes.

Nothing happened. You turned to look over at Floyd, about to question the purpose of making you drink the (surprisingly tasty) smoothie-like liquid but were quickly interrupted by lips pressing against your own.

The kiss caught you off guard and you began to panic, talking about your allergy...before you realized that nothing was happening. No rash, no itchiness, nothing.

"Seeeee? It's a potion. I made Azul make it for me. Now I can touch you as much as I want," He smiled proudly. However he managed to convince Azul would forever be beyond you...

He forgets to give you the potion sometimes, only when you two are cuddling and a rash or itching pops up do the both of you realize it's time for a dose.

Ya'll are so silly for each other <3

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #octavinelle x reader #floyd leech #floyd leech x reader #jade leech #jade leech x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #leona kingsholar x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #ruggie bucchi #jack howl #jack howl x reader #twisted wonderland headcannons #twst headcannons #leona x reader

2K notes · View notes

astrologydayz · 7 months ago

Text

ASTROLOGY FUCKING NOTES7❄️🦋🫐

MOON OPPOSITE/QUINCUNX COMPASSION ASTEROID - 8990 = The ones that can have trouble with being compassionate, & then not being so compassionate. It can be quite conflicting 4them at times, cuz in some moments, they do obviously really feel with others - & then in other moments - they're like "ummm sir, that's their own fault, HELLOO??" Like they can typically be seen as a little mean/not able2 feel other people's pain sometimes. They're usually very straightforward here with what they feel, so some could def take offence. COMPASSION ASTEROID - 8990 CONJUNCT/TRINE ASC = These people are true heroes, when it comes to being humane/compassionate. They always feel with others. They would never not feel with others. They always think of others, & typically always puts others before themselves❤️ - 1st one 2ask if u need any help for sure. These people are the ones seeing a really sad, & horrible movie, where it also ends up being based on true events - and then they'll cry, & think about it for a very long time. They don't understand why anybody would treat anyone bad - "we only got each other??".

COMPASSION ASTEROID - 8990 CONJUNCT/TRINE MC = Seen/known by others as compassionate. Got a reputation of being someone who's very sympathetic, humane, "able 2 put themselves in other people's shoes". But don't be tricked tho, it can be a facade here - you won't know. They choose what u see - not saying they're aren't compassionate, but u get my point, hopefully. VENUS TRINE/SEXTILE/QUINTILE KARMA ASTEROID - 3811 = Accumulated/or accumulating good karma, when it comes to values, passions, self love, love&romance, beauty, aesthetic taste - look at signs&houses💋.

VENUS SQUARE/QUINCUNX KARMA ASTEROID - 3811 = Accumulated/or accumulating poor karma when it comes to self love, passions/hobbies, values, love&romance - partners, or beauty. Can also show up as "owing" something/or that they will "owe" something to a particular person they're in a relationship with/or will be in a relationship with - Or multiple partners - look at signs&houses - persona charts if needed❤️.

4those who are into men, & marriage - GROOM ASTEROID - 5129 CONJUNCT/TRINE/QUINTILE MONY ASTEROID - 7782 = can show getting bank after getting married/or show up as your husband/fs having money💰.

4those who are into women, & marriage - BRIEDE ASTEROID - 19029 CONJUNCT/TRINE/QUINTILE MONY ASTEROID - 7782 = same as above - can show getting bank after getting married/or show up as your wife/fs having money💰.

💰MONY ASTEROID - 7782 CONJUNCT/TRINE ASC = the grind never stops. It comes all natural 2 them 2 think in lanes where money can get achieved! - They chase, & secure that bag big time. They love the hustle - "a hustler was born the day they got here".

MONY ASTEROID - 7782 CONJUNCT/TRINE NORTH NODE = chasing, & getting that bag is part of one's life purpose/it's a life theme!💰

💰MONY ASTEROID - 7782 SQUARE/QUINCUNX NORTH NODE = money can be hard 2 really achieve in this lifetime, even tho they could chase it/want it really bad - it's bc of their last lifetime. OR chasing money is a big problem 4 them, bc they forget their true purpose here, & only fixate on getting that bag - "money hungry/focused" - "straying from their true path" - "they're blinded".

URANUS CONJUNCT/TRINE/QUINTILE ASC = Are the ones doing/going about life very differently, than others. They think in very different lanes, original, & untouched lanes - no one can copycat them4shit, cuz ain't nobody moving like they do. You'll never meet two of these people, that's for sure. They appreciate freedom, originality, &realness a lot more than most.

NORTH NODE CONJUNCT/TRINE MC = one whose life purpose/life theme is about establishing yourself in this world! Creating a public persona - chasing, & getting that fame/success, & prestige!

NORTH NODE CONJUNCT/TRINE IC = the one whose life purpose/life theme is family, finding their "people" - creating their own home in this world/establishing a family/roots!

ASC AT 1, 13, 25 = ARIES DEGREE are the ones always wanting to do something fr😭🤣😍, they love being out & about - they like moving around. They're usually very honest, direct, not afraid of standing up for themselves/others, & they can get quite spicy/fiery at times. They don't give out 2nd chances typically, so use the 1st one wisely! They can't stand people who tries to trick them, like they're "dumb"🙄 - they'll disappear quicker than Houdini💨.

PREY ASTEROID - 6157 CONJUNCT SOUTH NODE = used 2 being a prey throughout this life/used 2 being taken advantage of, bc of a past lifetime = they gotta learn how to stand up for themselves, cuz this energy, ain't energying! They gotta speak the fuck up, & let NOBODY take advantage!!!

MARS SQUARE/QUINCUNX ASC IN SYNASTRY = Asc person can feel overwhelmed sometimes, because of Mars aggressive/in your face energy. Mars could start fights, or want to argue a lot, but the Asc person ain't having none of that. Asc person can see Mars person as 2 dominant, or 2 impatient - 2much attitude. If this is a relationship/a sexual connection - the Asc person could find this sexually attractive about the Mars person after some time, but there will still be times where it will piss off the asc person very much💀.

MOON SQUARE/QUINCUNX MERCURY IN SYNASTRY = Moon person can feel like Mercury person is harsh with their words, & really insensitive at times. Mercury person can feel like the Moon person is 2 sensitive, or takes things 2 personal a lot of the times. Mercury person communicates/banters in a way, that doesn't sit right with the Moon person emotionally - they can get offended. Moon can act out/up bc they don't feel heard/they can feel like their feelings don't matter/like they're irrelevant 2 the Mercury person.

SATURN CONJUNCT/TRINE JUNO IN SYNASTRY = constant/longterm loyalty/commitment from Juno 2 Saturn person! SATURN SQUARE/QUINCUNX JUNO IN SYNASTRY = Juno person either doesn't want 2 commit 2 the Saturn person 100%, OR it can show up as the way the Juno person shows their commitment 2 the Saturn person/the relationship = it doesn't give the Saturn person the stability they seek, or need. SATURN OPPOSITE JUNO IN SYNASTRY = On and off loyalty/stability from Juno/or an on & off relationship between the two! - Juno is 9/10 times the one cutting it off).

PLUTO CONJUNCT JUNO IN SYNASTRY = LOVE THIS ONE! Deep seated loyalty/commitment from Juno person 2 Pluto person - “Pluto's ride or die"💋. Ain't nobody got Pluto like Juno. Pluto usually hasn't experienced this kind of crazy ass loyalty with anyone before, but they're Pluto = SO THEY FUCKING LOVE THAT SHIT. They're an inseparable duo, very possessive, & very committed - fixation at it's finest - especially in the beginning!

PLUTO SQUARE/QUINCUNX JUNO IN SYNASTRY = Pluto person tries 2 silently keep the Juno person under their control, while they typically keep secrets of their own. Juno person ain't here4it tho. They may be committed 4a little while, but not in the long run. Juno always ends up acting out in ways they've never acted out before = Pluto person starting/creating a change/transformation in Juno/in Juno person's life. PLUTO TRINE/QUINTILE JUNO IN SYNASTRY = Juno is an amazing supporter in Pluto person’s life!🫶🏼 Pluto knows that they can trust, & count on Juno person at all times! Pluto can be kinda possessive at times, but Juno isn’t put off by that! - they're rather intrigued by it, cuz they can be like that2sometimes!💁🏼‍♀️ A natural affinity for helping each other through tough/life changing times.

THANKS4READING BABE!💋

APPRECIATE U, ALWAYS!🫶🏼

#astrology #astro community #astro notes #synastry #astrology notes #astro observations #mars astrology #asteroids #north node #pluto

550 notes · View notes

cinnabunwanda · 6 months ago

Text

We shouldn't be doing this ･｡ﾟNatasha Ramnoff

content warning — Smut, Shower Sex, Degration Kink, Mommy Kink, Angst

pairing — Fem Reader X Natasha Romanoff

summary — Steve, an avenger, faces tension with his girlfriend Natasha at a shindig. Wanda suggests they make a great couple, but the protagonist refuses. Natasha admires their friendship, asks to fuck him, and makes him feel vulnerable.

word count — 6.0k

Life as an avenger was a constant rollercoaster of danger and responsibility. One day, we could be on the hunt for an Alien threatening to destroy the world, and the next we could be in a high-level meeting discussing how to utilize our powers and resources for the good of humanity.

But even superheroes needed a break, and when we did get some time off, the team liked to spend it together. Tonight was one of those rare occasions.

"What's on the agenda tonight?" I asked Tony, always the mastermind behind our group outings.

"Well, my dear comrades, I have decided to throw a little shindig for us. Drinks, dancing, games...the whole nine yards," he grinned mischievously at all of us.

"The crew? Are you twelve years old?" Bucky teased him.

"Hey now, don't be boosting his ego too much. He's ancient," Sam chimed in with a sly smile.

"Says the man born in the 20s," Tony retorted playfully.

"Well, if Nat's going then count me in," I declared, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Actually, Nat won't be joining us tonight. We have a date," Steve announced proudly, looking at his girlfriend with adoration in his eyes.

Natasha looked back at him with confusion written all over her face. Clearly, she had no idea about this so-called date Steve had planned.

Tony shot me a look that said "uh-oh, trouble." I couldn't help but stifle a laugh at his expression, but when everyone turned to look at me, I quickly diverted my attention to my water bottle.

"Nat is a grown woman capable of making her own decisions," I spoke up honestly after disposing of my empty bottle.

I was sick and tired of Steve treating Natasha like he owned her. She was my best friend and under no one's spell. I couldn't understand what she saw in him, especially since they were always bickering, but I admired her for standing up to him. His mind was still stuck in the 20s.

"Stay out of my relationship," Steve snapped at me, his tone harsh and accusatory.

"Don't talk to her like that!" Natasha slammed her hands on the table, her voice filled with frustration.

"What did you just say?" Steve's anger was evident in his eyes.

"You heard me. Don't. Talk. To. Her. Like. That," Natasha spat back at him.

And so it began, another argument between the two of them. Tony, Bucky, and Sam quickly made their escape, and I attempted to do the same, but Natasha called out my name, causing me to pause and turn back towards them.

"Why do you always drag her into our problems? Leave her out of this," Steve shouted at Natasha.

"I'll involve whoever I want to. You don't own me, Steve. I'm sick of this bullshit," Natasha shot back fiercely.

I wanted nothing more than to leave and take a nice hot shower to escape the tension in the room. I speed-walked down the hallway but bumped into Wanda along the way. She smiled sympathetically at me before glancing down the hallway where we could still hear Nat and Steve going at it.

"They're fighting again? What happened now?" Wanda asked in disbelief.

"I know, can you believe it's already the fourth time today? Tony was planning a team get-together and Nat said she would go, but then Steve said she couldn't, and well...you can hear how that turned out," I explained, nodding my head towards the source of the commotion down the hall.

Wanda sighed and shook her head in exasperation before turning back to face me.

"You and Nat would make a great couple, you know," she shrugged nonchalantly.

"Excuse me? Me and Nat? No way. She's Nat, and besides, she's my best friend," I laughed off the suggestion.

"Y/n, your thoughts are too loud to hide from me. Just something to think about," Wanda said with a knowing smile before walking away.

As I continued on my way to the shower, I couldn't help but wonder if Wanda was right. Maybe there was more to my feelings for Natasha than just friendship. But for now, all I wanted was a peaceful evening without any drama or arguments.

As I walked away from her, a thin smile graced my lips in response to her comment about my secrets. With each step, the sound of my feet hitting the ground echoed through the hallway. Suddenly, I heard her voice ring out behind me.

"I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYONE, DON'T WORRY!" she shouted after me.

Ignoring her, I sent her a defiant middle finger and continued on my way to my room. Once inside, I quickly gathered all of my shower essentials and headed into the bathroom. Stripping off my clothes and tossing them carelessly into a corner, I was interrupted by the sudden intrusion of someone barging into my room.

"Ugh, this better be important. I'm about to take a shower," I called out irritably.

To my surprise, it was Natasha standing in front of me with a weight seemingly lifted off her shoulders. Concerned, I wrapped a towel around my body and stepped out into my room to face her.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked gently.

Without hesitation, she scanned me up and down with clear admiration in her eyes. Our friendship had always been like this - playful flirtation and pretending to be each other's girlfriends to ward off unwanted advances from guys.

"Eyes up here, Romanoff," I warned as her gaze lingered on my chest.

"Kiss me," she stated bluntly.

I hesitated for a moment, knowing that she had a boyfriend and not wanting to complicate things between us.

"Nat...as much as I would love for you to...you know...fuck me...you have a boyfriend and I don't want to-"

"Y/n, listen. Steve and I aren't together anymore. So please just let me fuck you until you can't walk," she said earnestly, looking directly into my eyes.

I couldn't help but feel conflicted as she leaned in and pressed her lips against mine. They were just as soft and inviting as I remembered, and I couldn't resist kissing her back. Lost in the moment, we stumbled towards the bathroom, our hands desperately tugging at each other's clothes.

Once inside, Natasha pulled away from me with a mischievous smirk on her face.

"Let's get rid of these," she said playfully, gesturing to my towel.

"I like them where they are," I teased back, unable to take my eyes off of her.

"Baby, I thought you wanted me to fuck you," she pouted, running her fingers along my jawline.

"I do," I whined, feeling more turned on by the second.

"Well then, let's remove this obstacle," she whispered seductively before nibbling on my ear as she tugged on my towel.

"Mmmh, I think you're right, Natty," I replied breathlessly.

In one swift motion, she pulled down my towel so that I was standing fully naked in front of her. Her eyes roamed over my body with hunger and desire, making me feel small and vulnerable under her intense gaze.

"You are going to be so much fun," she murmured, tracing her finger lightly over my chest before pushing me into the shower.

As the warm water cascaded over my body, I couldn't help but let out a slight moan. Natasha stepped in behind me and pressed her body against mine, her lips crashing onto mine once again. As our tongues tangled and hands roamed freely over each other's bodies, I couldn't believe what was happening. And as she pinned me against the wall of the shower and continued to ravish me with kisses and touches, I knew that this would be a night to remember.

The hot steamy shower added so much passion into our little hookup. It made everything way more hotter than normal. The way Natasha's red hair looked as the water trickled down her body was a sight I will never forget.

She placed her hands on my thighs and tapped on them. She picked me up and I wrapped myself around her waist. I began to try and grind myself to try get some sort of friction which worked for a minute as I grinded myself on her abs but when she realised what I was doing she stopped me

"Such a desperate little whore aren't you? Look at you so pathetic trying to get yourself off by using my abs" she degraded me

I could feel myself get wet at her choice of words. I was dumbfounded and my moth couldn't even form words.

"You like that? You like it when I call you a whore baby?" She smiled evilly at me

There definitely was a pool between my legs at this point. She kept staring into my eyes when she spoke to me which made it harder to keep eye contact when she was saying these hypnotising things

"Answer me slut" she snarled

"Ye-yes mommy I do" I replied with a smirk once I pulled myself together

She wore her famous smirk on her face as she stared into my eyes. "Mommy? God I love that" she smirked

She began to attack my body with kisses. Sucking,biting and leaving marks all along my neck,chest shoulders you name it she marked it. She slammed us against the wall and I slowly got off her waist moaning quietly at her marking my body

She placed her knee between my thighs so my pussy was resting on her knee. She pushed it up hard causing me to moan loudly and my moan echoed around the room I quickly covered my mouth but Nat grabbed my wrist and removed my hand from my mouth

"I want to hear those pretty moans, go on scream shout let everyone know that Starks golden child is being fucked by the black widow" she said with lust in her eyes and voice

She gripped both of her hands on my waist and began to harshly push my hips into her knee. The pleasure shot through my body sending shivers down my spine.

"GOD NAT" I moaned loudly

She smirked wildly at me and began to slow down. Which was horrible I needed a release the knot that once was in my stomach had disappeared. My head was resting on Natasha's shoulder.

"Ple-please Nat I NEED you" i panted

"What, you have me what more could you want" she slowed down even more

"Mommy please your killing me" I breathed out

"Such a little slut aren't we? Be a good girl and beg for it" she instructed me

"Please please mommy let me finish all over your knee, I will be a good girl-please mommy" I begged

"Go on get yourself off I want to watch you" she smirked at me

She let go of my hips and I began to grind myself down onto her knee. It felt so good, moans began to fall out of my mouth. I picked up the paste and I could feel my tits bouncing as I moved up and down on her. I had my eyes shut and I threw my head back in pleasure when she flexed her leg.

I opened my eyes and seen Natasha was fingering herself. God it was hot. I shoved 3 of my fingers in her and she moaned

"YES Y/N RIGHT THERE" I picked up the pace

I could feel the knot in my stomach again. I was so close. I could tell Natasha was too by the way she was pulsing on my fingers.

"I'm so close mommy" I moaned

Natasha's moans echoed through the bathroom as I thrust a fourth finger inside of her without warning. Her legs flexed and she threw her head back, lost in pleasure. I quickened my pace, my body on the verge of climaxing.

"PLEASE NAT, I CAN'T HOLD IT!" I cried out, overcome with desire. "Cum on me," she moaned in response.

The sound of our passionate encounter filled the small bathroom, but in that moment, we didn't care who could hear us. My fingers continued to move inside of Natasha as she reached her peak, her release coating my hand.

We collapsed against each other, panting and exhausted. I rested my head against her neck and she nestled hers into mine, peppering light kisses along my skin.

"Holy- fuck," she panted between breaths. "That was...the best shower of my life."

I breathed out a laugh and nodded in agreement. But just as we were starting to relax and catch our breath, Natasha reminded me that we had plans for the evening.

"We should get ready for tonight. That is, if you're still going..." I told her hesitantly.

"Y/n, if you're going, I am going," she said with a smile.

I bit my lip nervously and flashed a shy smile in return. We exited the shower and wrapped towels around our bodies before parting ways to get dressed. As I put on my favorite red dress, revealing just enough cleavage to make it daring yet elegant, Wanda burst into my room with excitement.

"Oh my God!" she squealed. "Natasha and Steve broke up!"

My acting skills came into play as I pretended to be shocked and happy by this news. Wanda bought it completely.

"No way! Really? You're not joking with me?" I exclaimed.

"I wouldn't do that to you!" She laughed. "How did you find out?"

"I overheard Steve telling Bucky," she informed me.

"I thought Natasha and I were the spies here, not you witchy," I teased her.

"That's not the only thing you and Natasha are," she smirked.

"What are we, Wanda?" I turned to face her.

"Each other's future wives," she smirked again.

I rolled my eyes playfully while trying to hide my blush. But Wanda was right, there was definitely something special between Natasha and me.

"You look beautiful, by the way. Is that for Vision?" I joked with a wink.

"Shut up, I can dress up for myself, you know!" Wanda shook her head in mock annoyance.

"Mmhm, yeah, but that dress is new and I know you wouldn't wear it unless you were planning to impress him," I teased as we linked arms and made our way down the hallway.

"Well, I could say the same. We both know a certain spy's favorite color is red," Wanda joked back as we walked.

"But how do you know I'm not trying to impress you? Your favorite color is red too," I responded with a sly smile.

"Well, if that's the case..." she smiled mischievously and we both burst out laughing.

As we entered the main room, still giggling about our love lives, we noticed that it was practically empty except for Tony, Maria, Steve, Vision, and Natasha.

"Well, isn't this quite the party," Wanda quipped at Tony as we approached the small group.

My laughter echoed through the spacious room as I stood with Wanda, trying to decide who to talk to first. There were so many people to choose from in this tower, and we were all gathered here for some unknown reason. "You two give it up," Tony commented, rolling his eyes. "People are coming, unlike you two. Some of us have lives outside of this tower." Maria smirked at me, her gaze lingering on my face. "Well, Y/n certainly does," she said suggestively. "What are you on about, Ms. Hill?" Vision asked curiously. "From the looks of it, Y/n has had some fun recently," Maria grinned, gesturing towards my neck.

Suddenly, everyone's attention turned to me. What was Maria talking about? Wanda slapped my arm playfully. "Miss Y/L/N! What is that on your neck?" she gasped. "It appears to be a hickey, I believe," Vision stated loudly. "WHO HAS A HICKEY?!" Sam's voice boomed as he and the rest of the group descended down the stairs. "Y/N!" Maria exclaimed, causing everyone to focus their attention on me.

I blushed furiously as they began to bombard me with questions. "When did this happen?" Bucky smirked mischievously. "Doesn't matter, it's none of anyone's business," I replied coolly as I sat down on the couch and grabbed a beer from the cooler.

"Okay, so it had to be recently, like in the last 2-3 days," Carol calculated, her eyes scanning my appearance. Tony looked disgusted while Bruce seemed uncomfortable and kept shifting in his seat.

"But Y/n doesn't leave the compound," Wanda announced defensively. "I do too!" I defended myself, feeling slightly hurt by their disbelief.

"I mean, she clearly does," Rhodes pointed at my neck accusingly. "Can we stop talking about this?" I asked, feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable.

"Yeah, please, can we?" Tony pleaded, looking like he was about to have a heart attack. "But-" Vision started to say.

"Yes, Vis?" Wanda interrupted him. "If Y/n went out and had intercourse with another person...well, that's impossible," Vision stated matter-of-factly.

"How is it impossible?" I asked, confused by his statement. "You haven't left the compound in 4 days apart from that mission, and unless you slept with someone from Hydra 4 days ago, plus the fact that those hickeys look somewhat fresh...it's impossible that you had intercourse elsewhere...plus-" Vision was suddenly cut off by a loud outburst from Tony.

"STOP! STOP! THAT'S ENOUGH!" Tony yelled, causing everyone to turn their attention towards him. I could see the shock on Rhodey's face as he exclaimed, "Stark, seriously?! She's half your age!"

My eyes went wide as I realized what they were all hinting at. "Ewww, no! No, we didn't," Tony defended himself quickly.

"Stop it now, please," I begged as I placed my hands over my face in embarrassment.

Tony stood up abruptly and walked over to the bar, while Natasha sat smirking and sipping her beer. Bruce also seemed preoccupied with Nat, which wasn't unusual since they were close friends. "Wait, so Y/n brought someone to her room and slept with them?" Carol looked around at the group.

"It isn't anyone here," I said quickly, trying to deflect the attention away from myself.

"I'm going to join Tony at the bar," Bruce announced suddenly, trying to make a quick escape. But Carol and Maria stopped him. "You know something, Brucey. What is it?" Maria interrogated him.

"Leave the poor guy alone," Nat defended him, giving Bruce a reassuring glance.

"Come on, aren't you dying to find out who she slept with?" Carol asked Nat eagerly.

"Of course I am, but we all know Mr. Anger over here gets uncomfortable easily," Nat teased back, causing Maria and Wanda to laugh.

"Oh, Witchy Witchy," Maria smirked at Wanda, who responded with an equally mischievous grin as she slowly walked over to Bruce.

I could see the worry in Bruce's eyes as he sent a quick glance my way. Fuck, he must have overheard something. I gave him a questioning look, hoping he knew something that could explain this situation. He looked away, his expression filled with concern. Damn, he definitely heard something.

With a sudden burst of energy, Sam practically leapt 6 feet in the air, exclaiming, "HE KNOWS WHO IT IS!"

"NO- GUYS I DONT," he quickly defended himself as everyone turned to look at him.

"DO IT NOW WANDA," Bucky smirked at her, urging her to reveal the identity.

I glanced at Nat and Bucky, who were sitting closely beside each other. Dread filled me as I realized that soon everyone would know.

"Guys, who actually cares who she slept with?" Steve groaned, clearly annoyed by the situation.

"Everyone apparently," Nat shot back, glaring at him. "Well Tony doesn't, nor do I," he began to walk away.

"Well you would care," Bruce murmured quietly under his breath.

"What was that Brucey?" Wanda smirked playfully. "Hmmmmm?" He acted dumb, but we all knew what he had said.

"Let him go guys please, this is embarrassing for me. It's my life, not yours," I pleaded with them, trying to diffuse the tension.

But my efforts were in vain as Wanda's smirk grew wider and red wisps of energy emanated from her hands. She was reading Bruce's mind. Suddenly, she gasped and Bruce quickly ran to Tony, apologizing frantically.

"I'M SO SORRY Y/N!" he shouted over his shoulder as he rushed away.

"OH MY GOD," Wanda smirked at me, her eyes glinting mischievously. "WHO IS IT?"

"WITCHY TELL US!" Maria exclaimed, unable to contain her excitement.

Wanda paused for a moment before announcing with a sly smile, "It's someone in this room."

The group erupted into a frenzy of questions, desperate to uncover the truth. Maria gasped in shock while Carol couldn't hide her curiosity.

"Okay, who was getting it on with Y/n?" Sam's wide smirk displayed his eagerness to know.

"It could be a girl," Natasha pretended it wasn't her and shrugged nonchalantly.

"That's funny," Steve commented, clearly uncomfortable with the topic.

"So what if it is a girl, Steve? It's my body, not yours," I deflected his judgmental comment.

"Well, it's wrong," he argued back, causing me to roll my eyes in frustration.

"Wanda..." Maria turned to her, hoping she would reveal more information.

I gave Wanda a pleading look, but she shook her head at me. Little witch.

"I'll give you all a hint: their favorite color is red," Wanda began, enjoying the power she held over everyone's thoughts.

"Okay, so that rules out Sam and Nat. Plus, we already established that it isn't Tony or Natasha," Maria listed off potential suspects in the room.

Vision looked relieved at being cleared as a suspect, and I couldn't help but find it cute in that moment. But then reality hit once again.

"Okay, to cut ties. Sam had no clue, so that's him out," Clint suggested logically. "And let's be real, we all know he wouldn't be able to pull Y/n anyway."

Sam was highly offended by this insinuation and tried to argue his case, but I quickly shut him down. Natasha smirked at me for turning him down while the rest of the group joined in on teasing him.

"Well then that leaves two possibilities: Bucky's exes Nat and Steve," Bucky stated matter-of-factly. My heart sank at the thought of either of them being involved.

Steve was busy chatting with Tony and Bruce at the bar, completely unaware of the conversation happening right next to them.

"Well, it has to be one of them. Maybe they used Y/n as a rebound since they just broke up," Carol suggested, causing me to feel even more upset.

"I'm not some lousy one night stand," I interjected, feeling hurt by the words being thrown around.

"Are we correct that it is one of them, Wanda?" Vision asked politely, trying to move the conversation along.

"Yes, you are," she confirmed with a mischievous smirk.

"Well, I could be right then," Carol shrugged her shoulders confidently.

"You really think that?" I asked sadly.

"Well, I mean, it is strange that they broke up and whoever it is ran to you. Maybe they did it as a way to get back at Steve for something," Carol said without thinking.

I sat there in shock as Maria slapped her on the arm for her insensitivity.

"My money is on Steve. He's always had a thing against Y/n and it would make sense if it was an enemies-to-lovers situation," Sam boomed confidently.

"Nah, I think it has to be Nat. If we're going off of what Carol said, she would want to get under Steve's skin by sleeping with his best friend who he dislikes," Thor chimed in with his own theory.

Everyone began agreeing with Thor and even I couldn't help but consider their theories. After all, Nat and Steve were always on-again-off-again. But the thought of either one of them using me as a pawn in their love triangle made my stomach churn.

As I looked at her, my heart ached and tears began to fill my eyes. She was about to say something before she was stopped by Tony's outburst.

"STOP IT! Can't you all see what this is doing to her? Look at her, she is on the verge of tears. You are all making her feel like a piece of shit, like some cheap hooker," Tony defended me passionately.

I looked up and saw Bruce standing next to him, offering his support. Tony protectively placed his hands on my shoulders while Bruce sat beside me, gently placing his hand on my knee in an attempt to comfort me.

"You should all be ashamed of yourselves. We have all gone to Y/n with our secrets at one point or another, and she has never said a word. Is this how you want to repay her? By speaking about her personal life with such lack of empathy?" Bruce's tone was harsh as he scolded the group.

A tear streamed down my face, which I quickly wiped away as everyone's eyes turned to me. I could feel their gaze, but some were shamefully looking at the ground. Without warning, I felt someone wrap their arms around me from behind - it was Natasha.

"Well, I'm telling you now it wasn't me," Wanda spoke up with a smile.

I wrapped my arms around her, taking in her comforting scent. She truly gave the best hugs. As I cried softly into her shoulder, all the hurtful thoughts and accusations that had been swirling in my mind disappeared.

"It's okay, you're okay," she whispered softly to me.

But suddenly, everything came flooding back as I remembered what they had done. "No, please get off of me," I pushed Wanda away and stood up.

Feeling disgusted and betrayed, I walked away from the group. Carol was right; Natasha had used me to get under Steve's skin, and he watched me leave with a smug grin on his face - I could see it from a mile away.

From Natasha's point of view, Y/n had just stormed out of the main hall. As she looked at the rest of the group, they all wore expressions of guilt. Anger rose up in Natasha like never before.

"Baby, did you do this to make me jealous?" Steve approached her.

"Don't fucking call me that," Natasha snapped at him.

"In fact, I don't want any of you to even call me your friend anymore. None of you are my friends after what you did tonight. The only people who I consider friends are Tony and Bruce. The rest of you are just horrible colleagues that I have to put up with," she yelled at them.

"Nat, we're sorry. We didn't think she would..." Wanda started to apologize, but Natasha cut her off.

"Out of all the people, you were the last person I expected to do this to her - to us," Natasha said, disappointment evident in her voice.

"Actually, no, scratch that. I didn't think any of you would be so cruel. But here we are. So since you all are dying to know - YES, I slept with Y/n. And NO, Carol, it wasn't to get back at Steve. It was because I genuinely love her with every piece of my body, and I would die for her. It was the best experience I've ever had because I was with someone who truly cares not only for me but for everyone around her. Y/n would go to hell and back for any one of you. So fuck you all," Natasha stormed out.

She went to her room and slammed the door shut behind her. Frantically changing into her comfortable pajamas, she grabbed Y/n's favorite hoodie which always goes missing when she's away on missions. Determined to fight for her and prove her love, Natasha left her room and went down to find Y/n's room. She had to show her girl that she was willing to go to great lengths for their love.

Your POV

The weight of disappointment and hurt settled heavily on my chest. With a heavy heart, I trudged to my room, eager to shed the facade of happiness that I had worn all day. Taking comfort in soft, loose clothes, I wiped away the thick layer of makeup and let myself succumb to tears.

As I lay in bed, memories of Natasha and the events of the day flooded my mind. How could I have been so naive? Of course she slept with me as a way to get back at Steve. The realization stung like a fresh wound.

But amidst the pain and betrayal, one moment stood out - our encounter in the shower. For a brief moment, she had smiled at me with genuine affection before kissing me again. Was it all just a ploy to manipulate me?

My thoughts spiraled into self-doubt and anger towards my friends, especially Wanda for exposing my vulnerability and feelings for Natasha.

"Why did I trust her?" I cried to myself.

A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts, but I ignored it. Using my powers to lock the door, I refused to let anyone in unless it was Bruce or Tony. But they persisted and eventually picked the lock.

Ready to defend myself with my magic, I sat up on the bed as they entered. To my surprise, it was Natasha who walked in with a gentle expression on her face.

"Did you not hear me? Last time I checked, you're not Tony or Bruce," I sniffled, trying to regain composure.

"I may not have a clean record like them, but I promise you, I'm not here to hurt you," she spoke softly as she approached me.

"Nat, please just go away," I pleaded.

"You'll have to make me if you want that to happen," she challenged with determination in her eyes.

I braced myself, ready to use my powers against her despite my reluctance to do so. But her words and gaze softened me, and I slowly dissipated the energy ball in my hands.

"That's it, Natasha. It's just me," she whispered, sitting at the end of my bed with a familiar hoodie in her hand - my favorite one.

But even the comfort of my cherished item couldn't ease the disgust I felt towards myself. "Giving me this hoodie won't change how I feel about what happened," I told her bitterly.

Her face fell at my harsh words, and for a moment, I regretted lashing out. But I pushed away any guilt and continued, "Why wouldn't I be disgusted? You slept with me to spite Steve, and now everyone sees me as a cheap whore you use when you need a boost."

Tears welled up in her eyes as she asked softly, "Is that how little you think of me?"

I paused, realizing I had let my hurt and anger cloud my judgment. "You're not denying it, so yes, I did think that lowly of you – no, wait, that's not true." My voice cracked with emotion. "I don't want to believe that about you."

"Y/n, listen to me. I didn't sleep with you to get back at Steve. I don't care about his opinion. But I care about yours," she pleaded with sincerity etched on her features.

She gazed into my eyes, her expression filled with sincerity and love. "You're not some cheap hooker or a whore, Y/n. I slept with you because I have real feelings for you. I couldn't resist acting on them the first chance I got," she confessed to me.

I felt a lump form in my throat as her words touched my heart. I was about to respond when she silenced me with a gentle kiss. My body responded instantly, melting into her touch. She pulled away after a few seconds, leaving tears in my eyes.

"Why the tears?" she asked, cupping my face in her hands.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier, Nat. It wasn't fair of me to judge you like that," I apologized, my voice trembling with emotion.

"Don't worry about that. I'm okay. Let's talk about it and I'll help you through it, if you want me to," she reassured me, rubbing my cheek tenderly.

I couldn't shake off the looks of judgement from everyone at the party. They made me feel dirty and ashamed. I know some of it may have been in my head, but Carol's words really got to me and made sense. I had been suppressing my feelings for Nat for so long, thinking they were wrong and that no one would accept us. But then we shared that moment in the shower and it felt right, until Carol's words brought all my doubts rushing back.

"Fuck it. I'm so in love with you," I blurted out, tears streaming down my face now.

Nat looked at me with so much love in her eyes that it made my heart swell with emotion. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and buried my head in her shoulder while she drew soothing patterns on my back.

"Thank you for listening to me," I mumbled against her.

"Hey, it's what I'm here for," she replied sweetly.

We pulled away and I took the jumper from her lap and put it on. She chuckled at me and I pulled her into my bed, pulling the covers over us. We both decided to keep our relationship private, but not a secret.

"You looked breathtaking tonight," Nat complimented me, her eyes filled with admiration.

"Thank you. The dress was for you," I blushed, feeling suddenly self-conscious.

"But I have to say, you are effortlessly gorgeous," she said with a smile.

"That's not true," I shook my head.

"Yes, it is. Even right now, lying here next to me. You are perfect in every way," I whispered softly.

"I'm not perfect, Y/n. Trust me," she said honestly.

"ты всегда будешь идеальной в моих глазах Наталья Романова," I whispered against her lips, reminding her of how perfect she will always be in my eyes.

She smiled into the kiss and lightly held onto my waist as I gently ran my fingers through her red hair.

"Не важно что," I mumbled against her lips, reaffirming that nothing else mattered to me.

"When did you learn Russian?" she asked with a curious smile.

"I learned it for you a while ago. I'm now fluent," I bragged a little, feeling proud of myself.

"How come you never spoke it before?" she questioned playfully.

"I was learning it to ask you out, but then you started dating Steve and all I knew how to say at the time was 'Natasha Romanoff, will you go out with me?' and 'I love you'," I laughed a little at the memory.

"Stop, please tell me you're lying," she groaned, burying her head into my chest in embarrassment.

"Unfortunately, no. But I continued to learn it so I could say things to you without the team knowing," I smiled softly at her.

Nat's eyes sparkled with love and adoration as she leaned in for another kiss, grateful for our secret language that only we shared.

My heart skipped a beat as her beautiful smile lit up her face. "Wait, you learned how to say 'I love you'?" she asked, looking up at me with shining eyes. "Yeah, it was one of the first things my teacher taught me," I replied, a fond smile tugging at my lips.

"Say it in Russian for me," she requested, her smile growing wider.

"But you already know how to say it in Russian," I said, confused by her request.

"Amuse me," she replied with a playful glint in her eyes.

My heart swelled with adoration as I spoke the words in Russian: "Я люблю вас."

Her smile softened and she echoed the words back to me: "я тоже тебя люблю, Y/N." It felt like an exchange of promises, a declaration of our feelings for each other.

She leaned in and kissed me, and I eagerly returned the gesture. In that moment, as we stood there with our arms wrapped around each other, I knew that I never wanted to be anywhere without her. She had tricked me into saying those three little words, but they were more than just words. They were a reflection of what we both felt deep in our hearts - love.

#marvel smut #natasha romanoff x reader smut #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff smut #wlw smut #gxg smut #natasha x y/n #natasha x reader #bottom natasha romanoff #sub natasha romanoff #top reader #dom reader #x reader

501 notes · View notes

julsvu · 6 months ago

Text

hoo characters as small things that bring people comfort

tags. fluff, lowk self-indulgent, corny as hell, gn! reader, implied relationship, not proofread

annabeth chase is the human embodiment of books, just like the ones she reads often. just like the ones she'd read to you; either rambling about how amazingly accurate it is, or how it just didn't reach her approval due to the font being hard to read. like a book, she's hard to understand. you'd have to be reading her first pages for you to grasp her fully, and stay even when the pages seem to be ripping itself apart; stay until her last page, and she'll remain until yours. together, you'll make a new book of your own, and make sure to never let the readers reach the ending. it's non-existent, annabeth is sure of it.

you don't know if it's because percy jackson was the son of Poseidon or not, but his presence feels the same way as warm water hugging your body, giving tingles all over your skin. after a long day, a warm shower is just what you need; once percy sees his lover look exhausted, he immediately thinks of ways to take care of them. warm showers always helped; like percy, it'd hug your body, wash away all the "filth" off your figure. like warm showers, percy kisses the things that you deem ugly on your body, and his words "wash" away your insecurities.

like frank zhang, the gentle flicker of a scented candle calms your every nerve, just like the small whispers you and frank exchange secretly. scented candles may melt away, but its' scent lingers, staying with you until its' very last breath. frank wishes to do the same, just like a scented candle. he wants to be around you, filling your environment with his presence. would you be willing to be the light to his candle, one day?

piper mclean's embodies the essence of a cup of herbal tea flawlessly. just like the soothing warmth and comforting scent of herbal tea, the daughter of Aphrodite emits a calming presence, wherever her feet brings her. whenever you pour out your heart, her empathetic gaze reflects your emotions like ripples on a small pond. in her presence, you feel engulfed by a sense of serenity, as if every worry melts away like sugar dissolving in hot water. and just like a cup of herbal tea, piper leaves you feeling refreshed and rejuvenated, with just her mere words of affection, only catered towards you, only.

roses are gorgeous, and their sharp thorns protect their bloom, piercing through anyone's skin with ease. hazel levesque is someone you'd see as a rose. together, you and hazel create a tapestry of shared experiences, each moment acts like a delicate petal adding depth to your connection. like a rose's thorns, the daughter of pluto harbors hidden strength underneath her freckled figure. her words keep shining through adversity like the vibrant hues of a rose in full bloom. most of those words contain the promises she had given you. just as a rose brings color and fragrance to the world, hazel brings light and warmth to those around her, especially to you, her dear lover.

leo valdez's little acts of affection give the same feeling of a warm, weighted blanket. well, the son of Hephaestus himself acts like a blanket sometimes; his body naturally eradicates the cold temperature. weighted blankets don't get pushed away too easily, and leave a lingering feeling of their weight once you remove them from your body. like a weighted blanket, leo valdez doesn't allow you to push him away. no matter what you're saying; as long as leo's around, your words don't ever fall on deaf ears. his words linger in your mind, and they're always sickeningly sweet.

jason grace's arms offer you the same, if not, better protection of a shield. jason stands tall and resolute, similar to the shields you'd see in the armory. his presence itself is a sturdy shield; sure, you may not see it, but you can feel it shielding you from the harsh blows of life's battles whenever he is around. just as a shield provides a sense of security in the midst of chaos, his presence anchors you into a calm sea. like a shield, he is willing to hold your hand no matter the place or time, and his heart of steel melts into your presence, pouring its' contents shamelessly.

if moonlit nights were a person, nico di angelo is a perfect example. like the soft glow of the moon, the son of Hades provides a quiet and steady presence, offering solace with his calm demeanor. he holds your hand, playing with your fingers while you ramble about your daily life. the midnight sky would be the grass of the spot you guys secretly claimed at camp; the same way the moon does, nico rests in the midnight sky, knowing he'll wake up in your arms, his one and only star; the one that stays with the moon.

will solace's smile is brighter than a sunrise whenever he's with you. his lips slowly curl up, until his mouth successfully turns into a toothy grin. like a sunrise, the blond never fails to remind you that every day is a new start; a new beginning. you don't need to do anything drastic to fulfill yourself. because everything restarts the moment the sunrise appears. maybe it was because he was the son of Apollo, or for another unknown reason. all you knew was that like sunrises, will solace never fails to greet you early in the morning and give you cheeky, little kisses filled with love; dripping from his very heart.

#heroes of olympus x reader #hoo x reader #annabeth chase x reader #percy jackson x reader #piper mclean x reader #hazel levesque x reader #leo valdez x reader #jason grace x reader #will solace x reader #pjo x reader #percy jackson and the olympians x reader #nico di angelo x reader

614 notes · View notes

senkamikakushi · 2 months ago

Text

yeah. this. people can take the relationship any way they want, but stubbornly insisting to others that they're siblings is just spreading misinformation

I also think haku's relationship with chihiro transcends romantic and platonic titles as quite a few ghibli pairings tend to do, but it's undeniable that the love is there (they literally beat us over the head with it in the dialogue lmao). im just sick of the theory that it's purely familial/sibling love because what. where did they even get that. I can understand all the reasons as to why people would steer away from chihiro and haku in a more romantic context (mainly the awkwardness of the whole age thing or preferring to see them platonically) but I find just the notion of the sibling theory absurd. because siblings where?? they don't even look remotely alike. he is literally stated to be a river spirit. there's also the spirited away Q&A where miyazaki himself described chihiro's relationship with haku as "falling in love with a manager" (noteworthy to mention that this is in response to the haku age question specifically). I can respect people wanting to see their relationship in a non-romantic way out of personal preference, but my issues are with the people that push the sibling misinfo as if it's canon and use it as a "gotcha" against others. it's just not true, like, at all.

I'd be less annoyed by the theory if it hadn't kept spreading everywhere... now it's so popular that a bunch of people have genuinely fallen for it.

I’ve ranted about this before but that stupid sibling “theory” (if u could even call it a theory. all the “evidence” is made up conjecture) about chihiro and haku is legitimately insane when this line is literally in the movie. You think they’d put in this line and not any sort of hint or line of dialogue saying they’re siblings if that “theory” was true??

Not only did she say this but she said it in english so there would be zero confusion and yet people still get it wrong. Granted it’s not in the english dub but both kamaji and zeniba use the word love when referring to chihiro and haku and say it in sort of a cheeky elbow nudge teasing way that you wouldn’t say about a pair of siblings.

#listen. its okay to have your own interpretation on things #if people interpret haku and chihiro as siblings then hey it's their life man #just be mindful of the fact that its an interpretation and dont go preaching in the comment section about how theyre biological siblings #like its canon or something #i think an extremely powerful witch like zeniba who is wise beyond comprehension with the ability to see through people #i dont think she would joke about haku being chihiros “dragon boyfriend” if he were her brother in any sense 💀 like come on #andd yeah the fact that haku is a spirit is its own can of worms #but surely there is a REASON he is so young in “human” form. he is stated to be approximately 12 in the art book #and i think the fact that “approximately 12” being the ONLY age ever specified for haku means something.#hes meant to be around the same age as chihiro spiritually. they're meant to be a pair #we've seen what an old and fullgrown river spirit looks like. its massive amd has an old mans face #haku by comparison is much smaller and young looking #okay gonna stop here because the age concern is still pretty valid despite everything #but still i dont think miyazaki had that concern in the forefront of his mind when developing the movie #hes made it pretty clear how he sees their relationship #point is im completely fine if people dont ship it. absolutely valid #just dont spread false junk to discourage other people #wait last note. i completely understand the skepticism because shipping can get weird sometimes especially since these characters are kids #but not everyone has those intentions while shipping + puppy love is a thing + some people prefer to ship older versions based on the og #uh yeah. im gonna shut up #SO sorry for all this #reblog

11 notes · View notes

passportclown · 6 months ago

Note

heyyy I saw that you write for Transformers.. you didnt say which transformers though so Ill assume all? just ignore this if not.

could you write something for G1 Soundwave and Starscream both liking the same human reader? headcanons pls

Oh hi!! Yes, I write for all Transformers. I haven't watched them all but for any request I'd research the specific characters to write them as accurate as possible.

You didn't specify if you wanted angsty, lighthearted, etc.. so I'll go with G1 goofiness mixed with my own style. Nor did you specify romantic or platonic. But I think it's Romantic? I couldn't tell if the reader was into them both as well.. so I tried my own approach! If this isn't right, re-send an ask (if you want)! o.o Headcanons below!

Warnings: Kidnapping (but it's not taken too seriously) , slight ignorance towards human comfort and physical limitations , slightly forced relationship but it's ambiguous as to whether it's platonic yearning or romantic yearning , maybe slight yandere?? my kofi if you feel like donating

Soundwave:

Well, you must have done something to get this con's attention. But now you've got it, and you're very much unlikely to lose it.

Soundwave likes to think he's calm and smart.

He's got his cassettes, he's got his position, he's got Lord Megatron.. everything's good.

He never assumed that he'd want a human as well.

And yet, he does.

He treats it as a simple desire to ignore. Like how humans crave chocolate but ignore it and get salad instead.

Well, at least, that's what he thought humans did. He soon found out that it's hard to ignore such cravings.

He couldn't stop thinking of you. So, he'd send out Ravage or Lazerbeak to watch you. Just so he could understand his strange desire further.

It didn't make sense, but he wanted you.

He watched, and admired the little things about you. But then.. one of his Cassettes informed him that Starscream was watching you as well.

He had even taken you in the recent fight..

Soundwave couldn't have that.

Starscream:

You must be quite the organic for Starscream of all Decepticons to like you.

Of course, he'd ignore his feelings at first. Or assume it's his clearly genius processor formatting some sort of plan involving an organic squishy.

But alas, he truly likes you.

Once he realizes his feelings, he denies them insistently. No way does he like a human! They're small, weak, easily crushed but..

Also cute.

He's a very rash individual. What he wants, he gets.

And he wants you.

He doesn't immediately jump into it, of course.

That'd be desperate.

He ignores the stares he gets from others, particularly Soundwave, convincing himself it was paranoia. He was being very careful!

No, he watches.. and waits..

And at the perfect moment, with you struggling to run in the midst of a Decepticon attack..

Well, who would notice if he just hid you in his cockpit?

Small ficlet:

Starscream got you to stop struggling from his affection.

Now you sat still in one hand as the other roughly pet you. He didn't quite have the hang of it, almost pulling out your hair and tugging at your clothes. His metallic hand would pat your head, then roughly slide down and grip your body. Over and over, in a repetitive motion.

He had a nasty grin, you couldn't quite tell what he was feeling but he was certainly pleased.

It's not that he's unattractive or anything, for a giant alien robot.. he is! But you were trying to avoid getting stepped on and he shoved you in a cramped space, shook you around as he walked, jostled you as he flew, and now he's roughly petting you.

Then.. Starscream jolts as the door opens.

"Starscream: Explain" A more robotic voice speaks, though it sounds as if it's accompanied by some sort of auto-tune. He really does speak like a robot constantly making a report. The Third in Command of the Decepticons, Soundwave. It's impossible to tell with his mask, but you suspect he's displeased.

"Wh- Soundwave! Why didn't you knock!? I am your superior-" Starscream yelps when Soundwave slams his hand against the wall, leaning over Starscream and prying into his mind.

There's a brief moment of absolute tension. Then Soundwave pulls back, and stares down at you. He pries you from Starscream's tight grip, attempting to be as gentle as possible. Starscream grunts, and glares at Soundwave.

"..I presume you'll be reporting this incident to Megatron and getting rid of the fleshy?" Starscream asks with a snarl, trying to pretend you mean much less to him than you actually do.

But Soundwave got enough of a read of his emotions from that peek into his mind.

"Soundwave: Might. Unless.." Soundwave continues, then leans forward once more and dangles you in front of Starscream like bait.

It works.

"Unless what?!" Starscream squawks, unable to keep up his uncaring and confident facade for more than a moment.

Soundwave stares, but not at Starscream this time.

At you.

Even you can tell through his red visor, seeing a brief flicker of light, that he's staring right at you.

"Starscream: Will share human with Soundwave."

That was the start of an odd situation.

Starscream didn't know as much about taking care of humans as he thought he did.

Soundwave got you a more comfortable place to rest, food, water, everything you need.

Of course, neither Decepticon let you leave.

They would routinely swap you between their respective spaces.

Starscream hated it, and Soundwave tolerated it.

But if Soundwave just took you, Starscream would make trouble.

And if Starscream kept you, Soundwave would report him.

So they're at an impasse.

And you're in the middle.

It's not all bad.

You think in some.. weird alien robot way that they both love you?

Maybe not exactly romantically, but close enough that they both want to keep and hold you.

They listen to you well enough, as long as you use honeyed words with Starscream and speak more pragmatically with Soundwave.

It's a decent exchange for them, and a new but tolerable change for you.

You might be a pet, or maybe some odd flavor of partner, maybe just a friend. It's hard to tell. But at least you don't pay rent.

I really hope you liked this. ��

#Transformers x Reader #x Reader #Starscream x Reader #Soundwave x Reader #Gender Neutral Reader #Passport Writes #maccadams #platonic #ambiguously romantic #transformers

547 notes · View notes

twilightkitkat · 24 days ago

Text

Do you ever just sit there, thinking about Logan and Wade and them together and what it means?

Thinking about why they're so big right now. Why it took THIS version of them to finally get that formula right?

Because it wasn't like they hadn't interacted in previous universes. It wasn't like they hadn't had crossover comics or episodes where they interacted in animated series of other Marvel characters. It wasn't like this was the FIRST time they'd been together, like it was a new concept.

They'd interacted before. They have a whole backstory together, both Weapon X experiments gone wrong (and right, in a fucked up way). They both had similarities. They both put on a metaphorical mask to hide their emotions, to keep others from seeing how desperately they needed to feel human connection. They both have low self-esteem and low expectations. They both were the ones people turned to when they needed to get the gritty, morally grey, dirty work done that nobody needed to do.

They always had a kinship. In some of the comics, it caused them to become friends. To reach a sort of mutual understanding.

But now?

It took THIS version of Logan—exhausted and grieving and borderline suicidal, closed off from the world—and THIS Wade—desperate and aching to matter like it'd eat him whole—for them to finally come together into something greater. Into not just Deadpool and Wolverine, teaming up for a one-off, but Deadpool and Wolverine, where they're a set. Where Wade takes him home and makes a place for him in his family and Logan accepts it. Relishes in it, even.

They'd always had similarities. But in a fucked-up, high-stakes situation, they were finally able to let down their masks and see them. They finally saw the void reflected in each other's eyes and realized they were one and the same. And they fight over it, sure, but they understand each other and it's so evident in the way they interact. In the way Logan knew just the weak points to hit to piss Wade off. In the way Wade understood why Logan would want to sacrifice himself but refused to let it happen.

It took two men at the end of their ropes, reeling from loss, to see each other at rock bottom and yank each other up and climb together.

And isn't that beautiful?

To meet someone who sees you at your worst, at your lowest, and still decides you're worth it. Who easily shoves past your facade and sees the real you—the grief-ridden, terrified, clawing animal that begs to not be alone—and welcomes it.

Who agrees to make a home with you, in the aftermath of it all, even when one of you gets back what you'd had before. Because you realize that you found what you'd been working so hard all along to save: a home.

And you wouldn't have this without them. You can't go back to your life before, even if you love the people in it. Because you can't imagine going back to feeling cosmically alone, to feeling like people care but don't get it. To going back to starving after finally getting used to eating well.

There's something special about this Wade and this Logan. Something that their other versions wanted, yearned for, but never quite achieved. They were their own individual people with their own lives and friends, but were they ever more than content? Were they ever truly happy with themselves in the way we see these two at the end of the movie?

It's like meeting your soulmate.

You were destined to cross paths in different universes, temporarily entering each other's orbit, but always left unsatiated. Until, finally, finally, you get the push you need. To reach out. To take that outstretched hand.

To latch onto each other and let your orbits shift to accommodate. To push past Wade's cheerful, crass mask and Logan's gruff, closed-off exterior to finally let each other in. Let them be seen.

A relationship is a series of choices. Regardless of your chemistry, regardless of the similarities in other Logans and Wades, it's the choices that matter. You can want for something and still not have it, you can realize you relate to someone without reaching out.

That's why this Logan and Wade are so special.

Because they chose this. Wade chose this Logan, out of all of them, and stuck with him. Logan chose to believe Wade, to not abandon him even after realizing he'd lied. Wade chose to be emotionally vulnerable and reveal his history with Vanessa. Logan chose to break free from Cassandra to help save Wade's World, even if she could silence the voices in his head. Because Wade was more important. Wade chose to show Logan his family, instead of just claiming that he was being noble and saving the world. He chose to be honest, to show Logan who he was. Logan chose to sacrifice himself and Wade chose to do it in turn. Wade chose to call out after him, to not let him go, and Logan chose to turn around, to listen, and to come with him. To come home with him.

They finally chose each other.

#deadclaws #deadpool 3 #deadpool and wolverine #deadpool movie #logan howlett #poolverine #wade wilson #wade x logan #wade/logan #kitkat #i love these 2 #i think about them constantly

213 notes · View notes

n0tamused · 7 days ago

Note

HELLO I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT I REMEMBERED WHAT THE REQUEST WAS ABOUT ok here we go

How do you think Ratio would be with a really touch-starved s/o but hides because they're too shy?

Maybe Ratio would notice whenever he would touch reader but not really understand if something's wrong but the reader on the inside is freaking out like "omg omg he's touching me act cool act cool"

But the eventually it gets so much that Ratio asks what's wrong, and reader tells him, and maybe after that reader finally sets free and is very touchy (hugs, touches, and bites) with Ratio to the point that even he gets a bit flustered

Thank you in advance 🙏

— 🦐

A/n: Hii! Thank you for stopping by again and leaving the request. This time it came in lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Contents: Dr. Ratio x GN Reader, fluff, both of y'all are touch starved, headcanon format

-Busy schedules and fleeting touches seems to be the best descriptor to your current state of relationship with Veritas. The former was always there, both of you were busy in truth, and those times you got to yourselves were all the more precious. The latter was something you were trying to branch into something more, yet felt too scared to do so.

-Perhaps the word scared wouldn’t be the best word to use, but it felt so unnatural to want it, yet wanting it all the same. To hold him and be held, to hold his hand and kiss his knuckles, to snuggle up to him on the couch or to rest your head on his shoulder and read off the pages he was reading. It never was a necessity, but rather a small, aching itch underneath your skin

-And under your skin is where it stayed and boiled and cooled down and ached. At times you’d flush at the thought of all these sweet things happening, but when it came to acting upon them, not only were you tongue tied but also incapable of movement by the looks of it

-At best it could be annoying

-Both of you advocated for clear communication, no beating around the bush and no nonsense, so why haven’t you brought this small need up to Ratio? He’d surely understand. In the end, he was human as well, and you knew that better than anyone else. So what’s holding you back?

-You can’t find the answer to that question. You leave it to the back of your mind.

-While PDA isn’t something high on Ratio’s list at all, he indulges in small touches behind closed doors much more than one may think. If you’re sitting together on the couch and you’re close enough, he’d have your legs over his lap and he’d run his hands up and down your shin, sometimes soothing the knots in the muscles of your legs, other times his hand just rests there. He moves you out of the way by placing his hand on your hips and moving you carefully to make more room for him to pass by, this often happens in the kitchen in the early mornings where you’re still droopy eyed and sluggish. Other times its him brushing the tips of his fingers across your jawline before sleep, or when he is walking past you he gives you a deep, much more tender look - a warm look. He smiles with his eyes more than anything..

-There were times you thought he was wordlessly asking for you to hold his hand, but you summed that up to your own selfish desires and not something he wanted. You were clearly imagining things.

-But as time went on, Ratio couldn’t get it out of his head - your odd behavior when he did indulge in more intimate sides of the relationship. The flush of your cheeks, the uncharacteristic nervousness, the widened eyes, the sudden jumpiness and the fidgeting of your hands and shuffling of feet. To some extent it worried him, and to a greater extent it confused him. You were clearly flustered, but what if there was something underlying, fear perhaps? Now that worried him..

-As soon as it began to gnaw on his mind he asked you about it. ‘What is wrong? Is something wrong?’

-Oh, if you could flush harder you would. The world seemed to get another mute for a few heartbeats, and then that mute began to stammer and trip over words like they were speaking for the first time in a millenia.

-You want more affection but don’t know how to approach him? Touch-starved?

-Why didn’t you just.. say so? -He is more mind boggled about that than anything else. He knew you were touch starved, he knows you, but the reason he never went out of his way to give you too much affection is because he was still feeling around the boundaries of your relationship, didn’t want to make your comfortable and he didn’t want to taste anything unknown to him as well, not yet. He loves you, but he won’t rush the relationship.

-After a lengthy conversation about intimacy, pda, cuddles and snuggles, the proverbial knot of tension in your body dissipated, the tension lessened significantly.

-So you indulge yourself now, still somewhat shy and new to openly showing affection, but he never turned you down unless work called and he needed his alone time. He always held your hand back, patted your head, kissed your knuckles, hugged you longer, and more often now - you found your head in his lap much more frequently, his hands combing through your hair, massaging your scalp. You began leaving fleeting kisses over his jaw or cheeks, and the first time you did it he earned a faint blush across his cheeks. It was just surprising, he said as he coughed into his hand.

-He almost glares at you to steel himself when he sees you standing next to him with that signature look in his eyes that says you’re about to smother him in some quick kisses. It’s a jest of course, he loves the affection though - he’s still getting used to it all along with you.

-You will find yourself getting kissed much more often too, around the house or even in public - although that is much more rare - but he’d kiss your cheek or forehead, hug you and squeeze you and chuckle when you release a huff at how tightly he hugged you. ‘You’re squeezing me’ - ‘Is that a complaint?’

-It will take time in order for the blush on your cheeks to not choke you when you go to him and show him affection, but it doesn’t need to go away. It is cute, you think, how your heart flutters and feels at ease now whenever he reciprocates the affection. Although he'll take longer to get to those bites of yours. He does return those as well, for your information.

204 notes · View notes