#they're going to need a lot of counselling

[fseffect]

You heard of Suletta Forgetta? Now get ready for-

[lunarlegend]

i think i accidentally got someone in trouble in real life and i feel sort of bad about it

[macgyvermedical]

Hey, different trans guy anon here. If I ever do end up needing T illegally and get caught, would that felony prevent me from working in the medical field? I'm just starting school for an LPN in the fall

This is not medical or legal advice.

So.

Nursing is not a particularly friendly field for people with felony convictions. Especially convictions related to abuse or neglect, domestic violence, sexual assault, and drugs. This is for a good reason, but it also would definitely make things difficult for someone who needed to get T illegally.

I know a lot of people are saying that "oh you'll never get caught! it's such a small amount!" but hear me when I say: If they need an excuse to arrest a trans person and they can't outright say it's because they're trans (yet), it's what they're gonna look for. So I personally would go without T or find a way to get a legit script (see previous post) rather than risk the felony (I have a nursing license too and I'd like to keep it).

Some states are willing to look into specifics of the conviction. Some have minimum amounts of time between the felony and the license application (say, 3 years from end of probation/sentence to being allowed to get a nursing license). Some will outright refuse a license to anyone with a felony.

If you have a state that is willing to look into specifics, they will generally look at what you have done to improve yourself since the conviction, and evidence that you would never commit the crime again. Things like AA or NA, going to anger management counseling, and other steps that decrease the risk of re-offending. This is obviously something you would not be able to prove without a full de-transition.

And that's not to mention, after you have a license you're going to have to explain to every potential employer why you have a felony. Which effectively means coming out to every potential employer. In a world where it might be seriously dangerous to come out, this is not something you'd want to do.

[arinzu]

My Headcannons for Yoichi Isagi, Rin itoshi and Alexis Ness💕

Part 1 l part 2

Might not be accurate

💗💗💗

Yoichi Isagi :

✿He took a photo once of his hair slick back and his fan went absolutely feral.

✿He time to time stalks Rin to observe what he does.

✿Isagi probably stares at the ceiling when he's about to sleep and think about all of the opportunities he missed.

✿If he played any other sports it would be chess, since his vision is great for mental games.

✿Tbh is he was a sin he would be greed/gluttony.

✿If he could ask anything from his parents, it would be to have a little sis.

✿Does skin, body and hair care every few days.

✿Swears in videos games often. Those little brats think they're so gOoD but once isagi finishes his puzzle he'll devour them

✿Tried to hit Kaiser in the head with the ball after a practice match, but Noel Noah was there

✿Gossips with kurona and hiori about kaiser and ness, It's perfect since kurona doesn't know what they're doing but hiori has a lot of dirt on them.

Boyfriend Headcannons💤

♡Plays football w/ u and teaches you by beating you, not even to destroy your self esteem.

♡ such a sweetheart while you are on your menstrual cycle (if you're a girl)

♡ gossip about every teammate with you, like a whole book of players he wants to gossip to you about

♡ once you were sick, he drove to the local store at 2 am just for you. He's so sweet.

♡ Cooks very well like he'll cook food decently

♡ Not that toxic? Maybe that's probably up for debate

♡tells you about his problems like it's the national news to be discuss

♡ Has that romantic playlist he made just for you and him to enjoy.

♡Due to being in blue lock he hasn't texted you often so in return he tries to send gifts every month

♡ Calls you darling and sweetheart multiple times a day

Rin itoshi

✿Drools in his sleep (Me too Rin)

✿I feel like he'll stand awkwardly in a party not even interacting with anyone

✿Is good at cleaning, not barou level but up there

✿Perfect grammar, also TOP at his English

✿Never uses any gen-z/alpha slangs or any type of slang infact

✿Dry ass texter...

✿Gets really weirded out by any of his THOSE fangirls/fanboys... Like wdym you wanna have the reproduction LIKE HE'S ONLY 16

✿Knows knife play at some point, don't ask him why (he doesn't know)

✿Artistic in secret... Like he'll paint the beach or anything that shows the happy times of him and sae

✿Gets nightmares of that day... (Pretty sure everyone has that headcannon by now)

Boyfriend Headcannons💤

♡Cuddles every time he gets a chance with you. That kinda prevents him from getting those dreams....

♡ even if he's not as romantic as the others, you guys still go on weekly dates and THEY are expensive or just casual date like movie date🫶

♡After getting traumatized by sae, he almost broke up with you, Thank goodness, that you manage to make him snap out of it.

♡ After getting convinced by your and his parents he went to couple counseling and saw his mistakes

♡One of his favorite things to do with you is Playing football, I mean two things he loves in one? Count him in!

♡ Bring extra clothes with him whenever you're around, just in case it gets cold and he doesn't need to give you his hoodie.

♡Does not have much of a soft spot for you BUT, his eyes sparkle whenever he sees you like the good old times

♡ Almost made you cry when you both were on a movie date, it was those scary ahh movies that you don't know what's coming next.

♡Has a separate Love notebook from his early days of middle school that he reads when he misses you.

♡Calls you lukewarm as a word of affection when he sees you

Alexis ness

✿Would probably be in good terms with isagi if it didn't end like this

✿Has a mental breakdown every few days because of kaiser paying too much attention to isagi

✿Makes Kaiser a birthday cake every year and even bought him EXPENSIVE stuff from his hometown

✿Keeps the magician outfit he had when he was just a child, he cherish it like it's the most valuable thing in the whole universe

✿Would be friends w/ Charles if they interacted more, I mean like opposite friends, Ya'k

✿If richer than his awful siblings back home, if not then... It's because of the plot.

✿If he didn't met kaiser he'll probably be better than what he is now.

✿Has surprisingly good fashion taste, It's better than most blue lockers I can tell you

✿Has that changing color book lamp at the side of his bed he use when he's upset or just sad

✿He would like science if it weren't for the fact of his childhood

Boyfriend Headcannons 💕

♡Is actually quite the gentleman to you and your family members, since he a very toxic household

♡Always makes your favorite dish, if he doesn't know the recipes he'll find it by your guardian/ by how you like it.

♡Gives you a lot of gifts, I MEAN A LOT like everyday you'll find things that you enjoy at your doorstep

♡Due to being away from blue lock, he gets awfully jealous of the boys around you. Even if it's just a friend

♡Husband material frfr

♡ Punch a dude that was making you uncomfortable, and then ran with you to flee the scene.

♡Prefers the value of affection than the materialistic value of a gift you give him

♡ Loves being the small spoon but if you want, he can be the big spoon, anything for his precious angel.

♡Yandere tendency!!! Whether a girl or boy, he will get jealous if you spend more attention on them than him!

♡Call you angel or any kind of German words of affection, he will use it

That's it y'all💋

Thank you for reading this! It too me longer than expected!

So thank you for staying till the end even tho it was just 3 blue lock characters!

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[ayasuki]

6th Bakugou x Reader FANFIC RECS

some are short but they're good hehe (most of these are suggestive :P)

> • 𝑹𝒆𝒄 𝑳𝒊𝒔𝒕

" Dream Eater " by justatypicaltrash

dream eater!bakugou x reader

warning: slight angst

bakugo is an eternal living dream eater.

" I Like You, Okay?! " by kikyo-bnha-imagines

bakugou x fem!reader

summary: katsuki struggles to confess to his crush.

" Workshopped Romance " by itsmm4hiii

pro-hero!bakugou x fem!reader

summary: working for a hero costume designer has its perks like; meeting heroes, playing with cool technologies, getting you're name out- y/n didn't  really expect her own boss will try and hook her up with a customer. 

" Blood Moonlit, Must be Counterfeit " by irisintheafterglow

pro-hero!bakugou x reader

warning: swearing ofc cuz it's bakugo, mentions of drinking and alcohol, halloween party, first meeting, emotionally constipated katsuki and reader is kinda oblivious lol

summary: a guy at a party has a really good dynamight costume, and you two get to talking about your favorite heroes.

WARNING | beneath the cut are slightly suggestive to full on smut fics

" no title " by moominsuki

bakugou x fem!reader

warning: ch. 359-362 spoilers kinda. a little suggestive but fluff all around

summary: katsuki hates being off the job. but what he hates more is being treated like glass, especially by you.

" as the years go by " by quitesins

pro-hero!bakugou x fem!reader

warning: suggestive, slight nsfw, friends to lovers, unrequited love ig? virgin!reader, drabble

summary: being friends with bakugou since UA, watching each other change as the years go by, but still having room to learn more, so much more.

" no title " by izvmimi

warning: palace drama au, multiple wives, fem!reader, brief explicit sex.

" One More Time " by yanderenightmare

warning: derogatory dirty talk, spanking, angsty but with a fluffy ending

" no title " by dreamland03

bakugou x reader

warning: mention of sex like once, drinking, mention of trauma, bad self image

" Come Sit " by saturnorbits

bakugou x fem!reader

warning: cock-warming

summary: after a long day, all you need is bakugo.

" Feral " by smiley-babe

wolfhybrid!bakugou x fem!reader

warnings: aged up characters, lowkey monster fucking (hybrid bakugo has wolf ears, a tail, and fangs), knotting, HUGE breeding kink, no specific dynamics, biting, small blood kink (if you squint), marking/ bonding, heat/ rut behavior, panty sniffing, kind of rough sex, oral (f receiving), and fingering

summary: taking in a wolf hybrid already didn’t seem like a good idea, but when spring hits… all hell breaks loose.

" Personal Trainer!BKG " by bakubunny

personal trainer!bakugou x plus size!fem!reader

warning: oral sex (m receiving), rough sex.

" On To Better Things " by savnofilter

prohero!dilf!bakugou x fem!reader

warning: angst, strangers to lovers

sfw | toxic & abusive relationship, toxic baby daddy, mentions postpartum, mental health, arguing, mentions of legal proceedings, counseling, drama, cultural family expectations, love bombing, manipulation, a man being a hypocrite, reader low-key needs a new circle of people around them but that's neither here nor there, reader loves their daughter to pieces </3, reader's daughter is a hand full but we stan!, reader spaces out a lot, "our kids are best friends but we never met before and so happen to be single" trope.

nsfw | fingering, cunnilingus, groping, praise kink, reader has multiple orgasms (2, hinted 4), reader is a bit shy as it's been awhile and feels nervous, vocal queen reader, clothed sex, protected sex, comforting!bakugo, non-established relationship.

" Swipe Right " by ryukatters

bakugou x fem!reader

warning: dubcon, quirkless/college! au, jealousy, possessiveness, breeding, creampie, unprotected sex, cum eating, cunnilingus, overstimulation, praise, biting, bkg gets a little rough with you, and bkg's also a fucking simp

summary: your boyfriend decides to make a fake tinder profile for you just to see how many matches you get. he comes to a realization just how many other people want what’s already his.

" no title " by katbakubae

bakugou x fem!reader

warning: language, dom!bakugou, possessiveness, jealousy, (mild) stalking, name calling, spanking, rough oral.

summary: sick of your boyfriends lack of time with you because of his busy schedule, you decided to take some time for yourself. unfortunately, letting that happen was never an option for him.

[idesofrevolution]

The Journey of Dr. Santana Fabrega

There's nothing quite like your bro slobberin' over your sweaty feet while tokin' on a hookah. Let me just tell you- everybody's happy. I'm stoked to be stoned and minty fresh, and he's happy to taste my ripe size 12's. Who isn't the happiest? The folks. Sure, I dropped out of college, sure I started focusing one hundred percent on my art, sure I have a parade of guys out of my little basement lair... but I never got why they had to be such fuckin' buzzkills.

Ever since they joined that church when I was at uni, my parents have been sucked into the Evangelical cult. Not the whole lifting your hands up to Jesus & speaking in tongues sort of church, by the way. Man, they're out there with picket signs at sex clinics, bannin' books at the high school, all that crazy fuckin' Christian Nation bullshit. They're my parents, so I love 'em and whatever. But fuck, those psychos really fucked 'em up. So now, their crusade is "curing" me of my gayness. Didn't really matter that I'm pan, they don't really know the difference. They don't really care about the difference, though. Not straight, not right.

So when they caught me the other day with Sam cleanin' my dick in the basement, it was World War 3. Man, a Nuclear Bomb would have less energy than my mom's hysterical shrieking. It's Florida, so it's nothing the neighbors haven't heard before. But, shit. I thought my eardrums were gonna pop. They stomped off upstairs, bein' all 'we are going to talk about this later, Santiago.' So, I let Sammy finish up, I pulled on some shorts and I went upstairs to face the fire while he snuck out the basement window. Fuck, I wished I were him.

The 'family meeting' went about as well as you'd expect. Threats of burning in hell for all eternity, demands that I find the Lord, etc. Apparently he doesn't like a lot of things about me: my weed, my tattoos, my sexuality, my piercings, my hair for some reason? I don't know man, I just tuned out after a while. What I did catch, though, they were sending me to substance abuse counseling. Couldn't help but laugh, and that sent dad through the fuckin' roof.

"Doctor Fabrega is going to teach you some manners, young man. Make you a Godly man, like you should be." Yada yada yada. He should have known better than to give me the doc's name. After the ass reaming, I made my way back downstairs to the computer. It took five minutes of research to find this Doctor Fabrega. Turns out he's a Christian Therapist, but that wasn't what was most interesting. Down in his specializations, buried beneath substance abuse & cognitive behavioral therapy was a word that caught my eye: licensed Hypnotherapist.

I knew exactly what kind of bullshit they were tryin' to pull on me. But when I was enrolled at U Miami, my major was Psychology. Not only that, but I still happened to have access to the university library. Oops.

I texted Sammy, knowing I was gonna be up all night doing research, and that my dick would need some appropriate attention under the desk. I was gonna show this motherfucker just how sick it really is to be like me.

---

The waiting room was bullshit. Cold white walls, bright wood floors... It looked straight out of an IKEA ad. I'd already been there for like 20 minutes past my appointment time, giving me just enough time to scroll through the last chapter on my phone. I hear the receptionist call out my name, and I head toward the office. Just as bullshit as the waiting room. It's like the guy wants to live in a psych ward- no color anywhere. At least get a blacklight or something.

"Santiago Rivera. Welcome, I'm Dr. Fabrega." The guy was hot as fuck, not gonna lie. Looked like he was straight out of Sao Paulo- even with the fancy suit you can't hide muscle like that. "Please, sit. It's so good to meet you." His voice was so weird. Speaking every word with like, perfect diction. You know those AI voices that talk that way? That's what it was like, as if he were trying so hard to hide an accent underneath.

"Just call me Santi, doc." I plopped down on the leather chair, might have put my feet up on his coffee table (don't recall), and he just looked at me like he was looking in a microscope. No idea what the deal was. He walked over to the couch and sat down with my file and started to drone on.

"Alright, Santi, it says here that your parents are pretty concerned about your behavior lately. You're 23 years old and a college dropout, you take illicit drugs, you have no job, and you're having unnatural thoughts. That's quite the list, bud." He was so fuckin smug, that sort of punchable glibness that only comes from a particular kind of self righteousness. Like Jesus himself came down and kissed them.

"So, first off. I did drop out of college, because I couldn't afford it. Second, I sure the fuck do smoke green because it's a) fun, and b) prescribed to me by my real doctor. Third, I do have a job. I do graphic design and graffiti art and I pay my own bills with it. And last off, yup: I fucked him." He sat there, somehow shocked that I told him how it was right off the bat. I'm not playing his little game, and that made him angry.

"I see. So you have no remorse for any of this? I believe your parents are very right to be concerned about where your life is headed."

"Fascinating, considering I'm moving out at the end of the month and they won't need to deal with my life. So. You married?" He was thrown off by that, just as I'd hoped. Right out of the blue. Knocks them off kilter for a second. An easy question to answer, so they usually do.

"Uh, well, no I'm not married. Is that your concern in all this?" Man, I couldn't help but laugh. He's trying to be sarcastic?

"Where did ya go to school for... whatever this is." This made him close my file, he even put it on the table and crossed his arms.

"I went to Liberty University, top of my class in their Doctor of Psychology program. You, it seems didn't make it that far, so you might not know what 'this' is." Oooh, he's big mad. I thought, let's push it. I did what most of my guys love, but would piss him off, I kicked off the Vans. Made sure I wore my skating shoes that day, the super ripe ones with the same damp socks. When they came off, those puppies let their presence be known.

"Sounds boring. Boring then, boring now. I got accepted into the Art Institute in Savannah, so I'll be headed that way soon. Be legit soon, then you wouldn't have anything to say. How's your sex life?" He thought he was so tough, not flinching at the musk, nor my question. But I knew both hit him right where I wanted. The question to make him mad, the stink to get him hot.

"Santiago, I think we should continue with our session. You can put your shoes back on and we can try some exercises to help you think a bit more clearly." I crossed my ankles, wriggling my toes a bit.

"I think they need some air. Are you gonna try and hypnotize me now? Or is that the last ditch effort when everything else fails?" He leaned back in his seat, the grimace growing stronger. "That stuff is not that hard to master. A couple days really and you got it down."

"Is that so?" He ground his teeth as he spat out his words. "It seems you know all there is to know, then." Time to hit it home.

"You know what, let's put money on it, doc. Hundred bucks says I can put you under." I got him, his eyebrow shifted just enough for me to see.

"This isn't a casino, Santiago. I don't bet money on client's health." I couldn't help but smirk. He left an opening I couldn't pass up.

"Aight, no money then. If I put you under, I get the bragging rights. If I don't, I'll play your stupid games. Win-win for you, nothing to lose but your dignity." Hook, line and sinker; he leaned in, grabbing the remote on the table next to him. He tapped a button, and the shades started to come down.

"Well then, Mr. Rivera. I wish you luck."

The room got dark. Really fuckin' dark. Fabrega hit another button on the remote, and a cool blue washed over the room. Gotta say, tight LED system. I kicked my shoes off the table, and scooted my chair forward. Showtime.

"Alright, Santana, I want you to just take deep breaths." He squirmed at my use of his first name, one last dig before I brain fucked him. He took his deep breaths one at a time, slowly getting deeper and deeper. "As I count down from one to ten, each number will bring you closer and closer to relaxation. Picture a long tunnel, at the end, a bright white light. With every number, you take a step forward to the light, do you understand?"

He nodded, it was an induction I'd made up this morning. I started from 10, telling him his first step he could feel the tingling relaxation in the tips of his fingers, slowly crawling up his hands and forearms. 9. Another step, the tingling creeps up his big muscly arms and shoulders. 8. One more step, the tingling is pushing up his neck and throat, reaching his tongue and teeth. 7. The tingling bursts into his head, a paradoxical rush of relaxation, a fog of dissonance washes over his brain as thoughts collide and crash about. 6. The tingling washes down his spine, flowing through his nerves into every part of his body. His body feels electric, a painless jolt running throughout him. I watched as he tensed up, his big muscles contracting and bunching him up. It was working.

We get to 5, starting at the crown of his head, the volts decrease, turning lugubrious and liquified like molasses sloshing about in his head. 4. The light is so close he can feel the heat, but his body is cooled as the syrupy fluid flows down over him like a waterfall, pooling in his big feet as it fills every crevice. 3. It feels as if he's trudging through mud toward the light, his legs feeling wobbly and gelatinous. 2. So close, his whole body feels like a massless blob, inching toward the final drop into the cavernous light. 1. He crawls toward the ledge, plummeting down into the endless void of bright white light. There, he will sit as I have a little bit of fun.

"Alright, Santana. Can you hear me in there?" Fabrega nods, expressionless. Fuck, that was maybe a 80/20 chance I was gonna fuck this shit up so bad. But I guess God really is on my side here. "Whenever I ask a question, you will answer truthfully. Whatever I say you will incorporate into your life. Now, Santana, what do you do when you're not at work?" His lips moved slowly and replied in monotone.

"I go to the gym, I go to the golf course, I hire my date, and I go home." Ooooh shit. He's giving my friends on the corners a decent living, good for him. Hardly a Godly thing to do. Either way, it was a perfect place to start.

"You love going to the gym, don't you, Santana?" He nodded. "You love gettin' all sweaty don't you?" His head began to shake, his expression furrowing a bit in disgust. "No, Santana. You love getting all sweaty. The feeling of those cool droplets on your hot muscles during a hard workout? Doesn't it feel good?" He pauses, before reluctantly nodding. Ahh I love gettin my fingers in his brain, never ceases to please. "You love that funk that comes off your sweat, Santana. You love sniffin your pits, your big feet, your balls... That musk means you're workin' hard. Keeping in shape. Staying virile. Isn't that right?" He nodded, squirming in the chair. I watched his body try to reject the instructions, try to rebel, but just one repetition had his back to stillness.

"You don't even like golf, do you?" He nodded, I didn't even need to manipulate him. "You much prefer hitting the beach, don't you? Seein' all the guys and gals starin' at your glorious bod... You love it, don't you?" He nodded, the side of his lip curling ever so slightly. "You love bringing out the speedo, letting the goods hang low, letting the buns bulge... you know they all wanna see it anyway..." He nodded again, it was like taking candy from a baby. The guy had the mental fortitude of a frog.

"You like fucking, too. You can have any girl or guy on the street with a single wink." He nodded, and I couldn't help but watch as his groin started to bulge. "Yeah, boy. You love taking that horse cock and plowing it into some ass... plowing it into some pussy... fucking their pretty little mouths..." Drool started to drip from the corner of his lip, and a little wet spot quickly appeared on his pants. "You're a freak, aren't you, Santana? You like fuckin' in the car, in the sauna, at the gym, under the desk... gushing gallons into them while you shove your sneaker on their face." He was moaning, slowly grinding against the open air. Can't lie, I was gropin' myself a bit just watching him.

"Now, Santana. I'm going to bring you back to your office, but when I do, you are going to be super laid back and chill with Santi during your sessions. If he says the word 'sniff' you will return to this space, return to an open mind, just as we have done here today. Do you understand?" He nodded one final time before I began his emergence. Counting back from one to ten, I watched as he slowly came back to the real world, and with one snap, he blinked his eyes and wiped his brow.

"Well, doc. I got the bragging rights." Fabrega pinched the bridge of his nose, as if he had a headache. Time to see if it had all paid off.

"Uhh... yeah... Santi. You got me there..." Perfect. He pulled his hand away from his nose, clicking the shades back up to their little hole. It didn't take long until he saw the wet patch on his bulbous package. He chuckled under his breath. "You'll have to excuse the mess, Santi... I have hyperspermia, so sometimes it all just flows out." Hot- and totally unprofessional. Just how I like 'em. I leaned back in my chair, smirkin' the whole way.

"Damn, doc. Firehose down there. Gonna have to show me sometime." He smirked and waved me off.

"I don't fraternize with clients, Santi. Oh, look at the time. I'm late for my 5:30. Alright, I'll see you next week." He stood up, extending his hand, his whole demeanor entirely changed. I slipped my Vans back on, spitting on my hand before gripping his. He shuddered a bit, sure. But we were gonna get real close, real quick.

---

The next few days flew by. My folks were so excited to see that I was looking forward to seeing Dr. Fabrega, and I loved knowing what they didn't. I was excited to see if Dr. Fabrega was gonna be Santana. So when I finally got back in for my appointment, I didn't need to wait long at all. Only five minutes and the door swung open, the receptionist completely flustered. The anticipation was killing me. She sat down behind her computer with tunnel vision and I walked into the office.

At first, I thought it was empty. He wasn't sitting at his desk, on the couch... but as I heard huffing from the balcony, I knew where to find him. I walked up to the sliding glass door, and turned outside to see one hell of a sight.

It was Santana. Nothing on but his whitie-tighties and his damp socks doing pushups on the bench. Fuck, those muscles were glistening in the light, his underwear with damp patches on his ass and bulge. His clothes sat in a pile near his head: jeans, a Miami Heat jersey, some sick dunks I wanted to steal... far from the stuffy suit he had on just the week before. He finally noticed me, and smiled.

"Santi! Hey! Just finishing up my lunch workout. Thought I'd get a session in today on the balcony. Damn, the fresh air is good for exercise!" I smirked. It was night and day. So far, gone was the bible thumping hypocrite, and here was what was underneath. If anything I was doing him a service.

"Shit, Santana! You're looking prime today. You gonna funk out our session today, or?" I punched him in the shoulder, and he giggled like a kid.

"It's eau naturale, my friend. Natural water. That's what it smells like." He slipped on his jeans and his big fuckin' sneakers, tossing the jersey over his head while we walked in. He trailed some deliciously ripe musk, and I couldn't help but savor a bit of it. We plopped down on our seats, and just started shootin' shit. I bitched about the parents, he bitched about his receptionist, I told him about Sammy suckin' my dick clean, and he told me about the threesome with a gym bro and his girlfriend. He was coming along beautifully. Though, I thought to myself, how's about a round two?

"Dude, by the way, those kicks are fuckin' tight." I pointed to the dunks, which he smugly kicked up onto the coffee table, showing them off.

"Thanks, man. They're the lifting shoes. My work boots, heh." I reached out, grabbing ahold of his foot, and yanked it off. He chuckled like a fuckin' idiot while I looked at 'em. Size 13, nice and big- and the smell wafting out of there... Fuck, man.

"Damn, dude you never wash your socks? These stink!" I playfully tossed the shoe at him, and just as he started to brush off the comment, I said my magic word. "Sniff it." Like a flipped lightswitch, his expression turned numb, slowly bringing the shoe to his nose and inhaling his own musk. I clapped my hands, rubbing them together: let's do a little more programming.

"Santana, You're a pretty chill guy, you know that?" He nodded. "You smoke, don't you? You know, the good shit?" Deep in his mind, he had to know it was me talking at this point, so I was talking to him like a bro. Establishes trust, ya know? He shook his head no. "Ahh, come on man. You love kickin' back and toking on that reefer after a long workout." Santana chuckled a bit, before nodding, still nose deep in his sneaker. "Yeah, you love smokin' out your bros, your babes... when you're not shootin' tequila!" He full out laughed on that one, nodding along. The sneaker slowly dropped from his hand, and he laid back in his chair.

"How old are you, Santana?"

"28." Shit, he was only a few years older than me. I mean, he looked young. But hell, you wouldn't have known it from the way he acted.

"Where are you from?" "Rio de Janeiro." Interesting. I clocked the accent. I was pretty proud of myself.

"Why do you try so hard to hide it? The way you talk, the way you dress, the way you act... You act like you're from Ohio." Another chuckle, I should have had a Netflix special. "You're gonna embrace that Brazilian pride, bro. Don't hide it for some mayo drinking buzzkills!" He furrowed his brow, nodding intently. This one was for his own fuckin' good. Be proud of that shit! "You should get some ink to really embrace it. Nothin' sexier than a tatted up stud, am I right?" He nodded again, his bulge once more springing to life. I smirked, simply wanting to know a little something somethin'.

"Do you think Santi is hot?" He sat there for a second, before slowly smiling and nodding. I didn't even need to program that one. Aww, big old himbo. "You're not afraid to let him know, are ya? I mean if you tell his crazy fuckin' parents that he's cured... He wouldn't be your patient anymore... Right?" His bulge twitched again, and he smirked devilishly as he nodded. "You like it when he's all up in your brain, don't you? You like it when he gets his dick deep in there and mind fucks you into a chill, laid back stud. Don't ya?" The dampness grew and his breath got heavy. He nodded, drooling down the sides of his cheeks. "Yeah, you wanna let him in completely, don't ya? Make you like him?" Moans grew, and his thrusting in the air quickened pace. "You wanna be best bros with him, don't ya? Bros with benefits... hangin' out, smokin' weed, hittin' the clubs, swappin' spit... swappin' cum... swappin' subs..." He started fuckin' howl. He was beggin' to splurge. "When I tell you, you will cum. And when you do, everything we talked about will be your truth. Now... Cum."

His eyes opened, still moaning loudly. He gripped onto his jeans, pulling down the waistband and underwear, that big old uncut donkey dick flopping out before shooting his load all over himself. Volley after volley. He wasn't kidding about the hyperspermia: maybe four double shots of his spunk sprayed like a geyser into the air. The 8th Natural Wonder of the World. He laid back and chuckled, throwing his arms behind his head.

"Fuck, brother!" The thickest accent flowed of those lips, deliciously thick. "After today, that'll be down your throat, cara." He pointed at me, hopping to his feet and shoving his python back into his pants. "So, I'll write your discharge papers, it'll get the pais off your back. Act the part until you're out, and just go live." Fuck yeah, we high fived, and I ruffled that sweaty mullet of his. "Hey, come over tonight. I got some friends comin' over... if you and Sammy wanna join." He winked and slapped my back. Damn, I did good.

"I'll be there, man! You save me a round so I can show you how to clean this dick." I groped my bulge, smirking as his bit his lip and winked. I've created a monster.

---

"Ei, sexy! Come get a toke before it's gone!" Such a demanding little bitch, I love him. I slipped his filled condom off my cock, the kinky fucker insisted, and I happily complied. If I'm being real, this psycho has taught me things! I flushed it down the toilet, and swung the bathroom door open to see him lounging on his bed, toking away at the blunt I packed.

"Hey you fuckin' hog, don't you smoke it all!" He chuckled dumbly, reaching over to hand me the blunt, taking the opportunity to snatch my wrist and pull me forward into a kiss. Fuck those lips were so good, pressed against mine or around my cock. "Isn't Carrie coming over soon? You gonna be able to get off so quick?" I pushed away, taking my puff.

"Ahh, plenty to go around, eh?" He groped that musky bulge that I had a feeling Sammy would be huffing later. "Ey, bring me my pants. We can go get a shot before she gets here." Heh, the last month or so crashing with him has been fuckin' sick. The folks think I'm rooming with some guy from the church, when really I'm gooning with my therapist every night in his bed. Savannah is letting me take online courses, I'll have my B.A. in a couple of years, and I'm already getting some gallery hits. Santana is gonna be my armcandy for the opening, and I told him to forget his deodorant. Fuck he’s perfect. But a thought had crept in my head the other day. One last program, one final idea planted in his head... Though, at this point, there was no need to put him under. I'd just ask him.

"Hey, so I gotta go to Georgia to finish up some paperwork at the school. It got me thinking... I'm followin' my dream. What about you?" I tossed him his pants and passed the blunt, taking a deep whiff of those ripe dunks before throwing them his way too.

"I could go back to the practice, though I think the bible thumpers would lose their minds, heh."

"Well... What we did for eachother... What if you did it for others?" I slowly got down to my knees, a smirk crawling across my face. "What if you could help those poor... misguided young men change their lives?" I crawled toward him, spreading his legs wide as I tossed his legs over my shoulders. "Wouldn't that be so... so... fun?" I slowly pulled down his musky briefs, releasing his monstrous cock again, the musky hooded beast slapping me on my cheek. "Then, we could have so... many... new.. friends..." I pulled down his slimy hood and wrapped my lips around his tip. I should have known better. His hand grabbed the back of my head, slamming it down onto his spear, my nose buried in his bush as he thrust back and forth into my mouth.

"Unff... Yeah, brother... Oh yeah... That sounds like a good... unhhhhh... good idea." Grunting, slapping, moaning, slurping... it all rang out in his room, until he gushed another thick load down my throat. "You wanna join me?" And in that moment, I smiled. It was the best idea he'd had yet.

[abby118]

Body language - another thing the series failed at

To preface this, I do not consider the series canon (as with anything released post TDW due to it being extremely ooc and contradictory to the established canon) but I think this is something many series fans don't realise even though it's glaringly obvious. I did not include comparison photos because I think I'm speaking for many og Loki fans when I say we have seen far too much of this joke of an attempt to depict our favourite character and we don't need more of that.

I am not going to list every single instance I've got in mind because there are far too many and tumblr has its limits but these are details I consider important.

Loki does not move a whole lot, but that doesn't mean he's not aware of his surroundings, quite the opposite in fact. You have to keep in mind that, unlike Thor who has the opposite personality (is very expressive) and is the crown prince, Loki is the tactician; he was raised with the goal of being there for Thor to provide counsel would it be needed. He's quiet, subtle and observant. He has to be. X

(Notice how he goes from not looking at a fixed point while listening to Odin to looking at Thor when he speaks)

I also noticed Loki is very efficient in how he moves, which is probably the most apparent in TA due to what he's gone through up to that point and the lasting effects of that. His movements are very controlled and precise. He does not waste his energy on what's not required by the situation. He looks directly at the people giving him infomation, he does not flinch when Clint fires and his movement oscillates between being either very slow or faster than that of the people around him. The scene of his arrival to Midgard is a great example of that. X

Then there's his interaction with the Other. This scene shows us that even though he is directly threatened, with the Other in his personal space, he remains still. Yes, he flinches, because that kind of blinking is his giveaway of being nervous (you can also see this during his sentencing in TDW) but he doesn't move.

Speaking of nervous gestures, I can't leave out the picking at his hand that he shares with Frigga but I'm sure we all know that one.

Kurse/Loki scene

Loki's stillness and stealth is accompanied by his microexpressions in which lies a lot of his expression. You can find these in pretty much every one of his scenes in the trilogy. He is not overt with how he presents and it's easy to overlook some of these cues because of how subtle and short they can be which is precisely who he is. He is not obvious and loud like Thor, you have to really pay attention to understand him which adds to the complexity of his character.

The series missed this completely. I feel like they wrote their character with zero understanding of who he is and similarly to what you see in children's shows so the viewers would understand and not strain their brains thinking about what they're watching. The person they wrote is not and will never be Loki.

[911lsbts]

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: The episode starts with Tarlos in therapy. How long do you think this problem has been brewing?

RONEN RUBINSTEIN: Season 5 picking up a year since the finale of season 4, I think that justifies the amount of time that it would take for a relationship to start getting a little rocky. I think it wouldn't really make sense if we came back immediately after the honeymoon and things started to go south. For me, it was just really trying to understand where Carlos is coming from and knowing that, yes, TK has his wants and his needs — but at the end of the day, it's always about "How can I be the most supportive, loving, caring husband?" And I think that's just TK as a person. He's done that for his father, for his mother, for Carlos, for all of his firefighter comrades, his paramedic comrades, and all the patients out in the field.

So TK is not necessarily upset with Carlos...

I think the stress and anxiety for TK doesn't necessarily come from, "I'm not feeling seen, I'm not getting attention." It's more of "I'm really scared for my husband and he's hunting down some really bad people that could lead to a really, really scary situation, might even get him hurt." I would be curious to see which one of them suggested we try couples counseling. I would like to think it's TK, and it just shows how incredible their relationship is that Carlos would agree to do it. I think they're obviously so madly in love, and so committed to each other, and they know that they're going to need some extra help in order to figure things out.

And their anniversary gifts show the therapy worked.

It just shows how beautiful these two are and how much they care and love each other and just how uniquely different they are. I think that scene is a perfect example of that. It seemed like it turned out to be a beautiful anniversary.

So what's next for Tarlos?

Well, [TK's step-father] Enzo and [half-brother] Jonah coming into their lives is going to throw a massive wrench into everything. What's cool about the Enzo storyline is it's something I've been asking for and daydreaming about since season 1, since I learned that Enzo was actually the person that raised TK. We're going to have so many questions answered about that dynamic, and we're going to find out even deeper about the dynamic between TK and Owen [Rob Lowe], which you kind of feel like you know everything, but we actually don't. And I think it's going to come to a head of actually what went on with TK and Owen when he was younger. So I'm really excited about that. It brings such an incredible scene between Rob and me. And then with Jonah, that's going to ask a lot of questions. I think a lot of things that the fans have hoped for and have feared, I think that's coming.... You'll know exactly what I'm talking about when that episode airs.

[neptunes-sol-angel]

This!

It's irritating seeing this trend with readers building their platforms by doing love readings, gaining followers for it, profiting off off of it, and then suddenly pulling the rug from their feet to instruct people (not guide!) that they're "lacking" in something but not even giving them closure on what, how, or where to start. Whether you actually care or you just want to find a reason to shit on other readers, people have the absolute wrong idea over and over again about what readings are meant to be.

It is a luxury. Not and should not ever be advertised as a need. If people need help through these services, then they have to want it for themselves instead of you trying to instill in them that they need to be reliant on occultic practices to make good decisions in their lives. That is a dangerous way to make someone codependent on readings because constantly trying to look for things to fix in your life in the name of "self improvement" is equally harmful as what an obsession with future spouse or other love readings will do to you. There is not a single topic that is superior or inferior to another when it comes to divination because they all have the potential to trigger someone into spiritual psychosis and I really need people to understand this.

You want readings to be about counseling others? Go towards other closed divination practices that are solely designed for giving spiritual insight OR just simply keep posting the topics that you want, in your own way and call it a day instead of worrying about what the next person is doing. Why does it always have to be a dick measuring contest in these communities when really we should be supporting each other? Not everyone is equipped to channel self-help readings and it's perfectly fine to just be a reader that caters to love topics or anything else that is unique.

It's like saying "Books are for learning. You should only read educational topics because I think you're not doing enough for your intellectual responsibilities". You'd be mad as hell if someone told you that you needed to put down that science fiction book because they feel like you need to learn more about neuroscience.

I'm a reader, and I personally take the breaks that I do here for my mental health because indulging in spiritual practices with no boundaries will drive you into insanity. Respectfully, if I just finished having a mental breakdown over recollecting the various cases of childhood trauma that I've experienced...I do not want to log on here and read pick a cards about shadow work. I wouldn't even want to touch my cards or speak to my spirit guides for the next couple of days.

Any other time, I LIVE for a good reading no matter the topic. Future spouse readings are not my favorite but I don't hate them. Sometimes I'll be drawn to just one specific topic depending on the day because that's life. One day I want to know more about my love life in the present, the next day maybe my love life in the future, some days I do want to read more into the shadow work that I need to do, next week I could really want to read pick a cards with messy topics or themes that are meant to boost your confidence, and when I'm in that mood, I might just only want to read 18+ themed pick a card readings 💀

The point is that I don't think people understand how precious this platform actually is. A lot of the material here, you can't really get in any of the other divination communities. People are talented here and should stick with what they feel that they should make and it's pointless to try to get them to do it any other way because IT'S SO DIVERSE here, just simply find another reader who makes the messages that you need at the moment. It's not that hard or rare to find that people are making it ought to be.

And just focus on what you can do as a reader. Are you being true to your practices and beliefs? Are you creating a space that's healthy for readers up here? If not, then think and respond accordingly to what you feel like you should do. If you're concerned about the consumption of love readings, don't be quick to point fingers at other people, especially if you know you're part of the problem. People learn on their own timing and through their own choices and you can't control that. What you can control is the content that you choose to distribute to others.

Do topics that match with your truth. Love readings are not your thing or not what you believe in? Don't make them. Are you tired? Don't feel pressured to post. You feel concerned with how your audience is consuming your content? Post less. Etc.

[triassictriserratops]

checking in to say I’m such a sucker for Katniss and Peeta discussing their mommy issues once they’re together again. I once saw a post pointing out that they’re the only ones in the series with that kind of trauma and it made so much sense to me why they easily bonded with each other. Just imagine them finally being able to discuss how unsafe they felt even before the games and realize that they have someone in their family who understands that problem and doesn’t make it feel that way. Katniss and Peeta have always been tender with each other but I fear it only gets worse the more they share and get close

we joke a lot about how THG is what Katniss would write about her experiences in the games and war. (Explaining her, frankly, INSANE odes to Peeta's eyelashes.) but also? we're sleeping on the idea that Katniss writes a book absolutely trashing Peeta's mom. It's gonna be a fucking BESTSELLER. I actually have an advanced reader copy, here, lemme show you:

(Note, i spent like 4 hours making this absolutely garbage fucking cover, please validate me. My feelings gland needs this.) I also have this idea that while Katniss does come to understand her mother better by the end of the book - a relationship, a GOOD relationship, with the two of them - it's just going to take time. In that time, maybe Peeta helps to bridge the gap. He does weekly check-ins with Katniss' mom. Telling her how Katniss is doing but also answering her questions about how HE'S doing. And he realizes how...nice it is for a mom to want to know how his day was or be proud of his accomplishments. It's not a replacement for what he should have had, but it's nicer than what he ever got. His relationship with his family is gone. That's it. There will never be any hope of it ever getting better. But Katniss DOES have her mom and he wants to help them. And, from the conversations and tears they've shared about this, he knows she wants it too. So he starts by suggesting that Katniss' mom go through her own therapy to be able to come to terms with her grief and the consequences of what that grief did to her relationships with her living family. He puts her in touch with Dr. Aurelius who gives him a referral to someone in 4 that works in grief and family counseling. And it's not easy. Not by any means. Not for anyone. But in time, years, decades - the bonds of family are strengthened. They're never perfect, you can't fix the past, of course. But the pains are acknowledged on both sides. Their new relationship is hard-earned and exactly what they both need of each other. 15 years down the line, Mrs. Everdeen gets to push the hair out of her daughters eyes while she delivers her first grandbaby. She gets to watch her baby look in awe, and wonderment at her own baby. She gets to watch her family grow a little bigger and a little stronger. Later, when Peeta makes sure both Katniss and baby are safe and sleeping, he goes over to Mrs. Everdeen and hugs her tightly. "Thanks for being here for us, Ma."

[todomitoukei]

what’s the spoiler for the final chapter? 🤡

It's a lot of dumb stuff so I'll just focus on the lov, which technically isn't a lot because we don't get any actual info on them.

First of all, there is a time skip of 8 years.

There is a tiny panel of Spinner's book, which is simply titled "League of Villains", next to it is a panel of Compress reading it (where? We don't know). And Shigaraki appears as a ghost in front of Deku in one panel but he just stands there 🕴️without saying anything. Aizawa and Present Mic are seen praying at an altar, suggesting that Kurogiri died (EDIT: it could also be Midnight or anyone else because they don't mention who they're visiting exactly). Ochako started some kind of quirk counseling project (in honor of Toga I guess).

No one actually mentions the lov in any way shape or form.

The chapter starts with the quote from the first chapter: “People are not born equal. Each of us has a different form or shape but, despite of that, we still care for others. And these differences, both internal and external, allow us to run towards other people and search for a point of intersection”

And ends with: "This is the story of how we will continue to reach out."

While these quotes are supposed to come across as inspirational, they ultimately feel shallow as the heroes that committed crimes are continuing to live life while their victims are either dead and/or their ending not even explicitly stated. There is one panel of Endvr in his wheelchair, surrounded by Hawks and his sidekicks, Shouto is a pro hero who is being called Endvr's son less and less these days.

This story about caring and reaching out unfortunately failed at getting anywhere with that as the people that needed help ended up dead/in prison/probably dead.

So while we spent so long arguing about whether Touya would live or die, Horikoshi simply decided to give us the middle finger by not showing him or revealing what happened to him. Is he alive? Did he die? Kurogiri at least had people come visit his altar, however, what happened with Touya, how long did he live if he died, what became of his relationships with his family members? That and more we will apparently never know because why would any of that even matter, right?

Essentially, Horikoshi should've just killed him at the end of the second war and let him go out on his own terms instead of keeping him alive for... what?

[icrypop]

"Fatherly Advice"

TMNT 2012 Donatello

2012! Donnie x Fem! Reader

Fluuufffffyyyy

Hiya my lil bookworms, hope everyone is weellllll! I know its taken me a hot minute but my jobs kicking ass right now :') I'm so sorry and I'll try to update more but also give people chances to request!!! ANyway, thought this was cute cuz Splinter from 2012 is like... an awesome father figure and I love Donnie soooo- Here is some fluff!! Also, definitely make sure to check out writer Grem's stuff, they're working hard right now<3

ANYWAY, Requests are 100% open so pleaaaaseee ask away<33

-Writer Icy<3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the serene and dimly lit dojo beneath the bustling streets of New York City, Master Splinter sat in quiet meditation. The soft glow of candlelight flickered against the walls, casting gentle shadows that danced around the room. His keen ears caught the sound of hesitant footsteps approaching.

"Enter," he called, his voice calm and inviting.

A young girl with h/c hair stepped into the dojo, her eyes filled with uncertainty. Y/n had been a friend of the Turtles for some time, often joining them on their adventures. Recently, however, her heart had become overwhelmed with emotions she struggled to understand.

"Master Splinter," Y/n began, her voice barely above a whisper. "I need your advice."

Splinter opened his eyes and looked at her with a kind and knowing gaze. "Sit, my child. Tell me what troubles you."

Y/n took a deep breath and sat cross-legged before the wise old rat. "I... I think I've caught feelings for Donatello," she admitted, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "But I don't know what to do. I don't want to ruin our friendship or make things awkward between us, especially if he has a crush on April."

Splinter nodded slowly, considering her words. "Love is a powerful and beautiful emotion, Y/n. It is natural to feel uncertain when your heart is involved. Tell me, what is it about Donatello that draws you to him?"

Y/n smiled softly, her eyes lighting up as she thought of Donnie. "He's so intelligent and kind. He's always thinking of others and working so hard to help everyone. He's brave, but he also has this gentle side that... that makes me feel safe and cared for."

Splinter's whiskers twitched in amusement. "Donatello is indeed a remarkable young turtle. Your feelings for him are understandable and sincere."

Y/n sighed, her shoulders relaxing slightly. "But what if he doesn't feel the same way? Or what if it makes things complicated with the team?"

Splinter reached out and gently placed a hand on Y/n's shoulder. "In matters of the heart, there is always a risk. But love is not something to be feared. It is a gift to be cherished. If you speak honestly and openly with Donatello, you will find your path."

Y/n looked up at Splinter, her eyes filled with gratitude. "Thank you, Master Splinter. Your words mean a lot to me."

"Remember, Y/n," Splinter continued, "Love requires patience, understanding, and courage. If your feelings are true, they will find their way. And no matter the outcome, your bond with Donatello and the rest of the Turtles will endure."

Y/n nodded, feeling a sense of calm wash over her. "I will talk to him. Thank you for the advice sensei."

Splinter smiled warmly. "Go with confidence, my child. Trust in your heart and in Donatello's."

With newfound resolve, Y/n stood and bowed respectfully before leaving the dojo. As she made her way to the lab where Donatello was undoubtedly working on his latest invention, she felt a renewed sense of hope. Whatever the future held, she knew that Master Splinter's wisdom would guide her through the challenges ahead.

And in the quiet of the dojo, Splinter returned to his meditation, his heart full of pride for his son and the young girl who had bravely sought his counsel.

Donnie's POV~

Donatello adjusted his goggles, his focus completely absorbed by the precision needed to tend to the chemicals in front of him. The hum of machinery and the faint scent of chemicals filled the air, creating a familiar and comforting backdrop to his work. He was in his element, surrounded by the tools and gadgets that defined his world.

"Hey, Donnie," a voice called out, pulling him from his concentration.

He looked up, a smile spreading across his face as he saw Y/n standing at the entrance of his lab. Her presence was always a welcome distraction, though he could tell something was different this time. There was a nervousness in her eyes that made his heart skip a beat.

"Hey, Y/n! What's up? Need help with something?" he asked, setting his tools aside.

Y/n stepped closer, her eyes locking onto his. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something important."

Donatello's curiosity piqued, and he gave her his full attention. "Sure, what's on your mind?" He asked, raising his goggles.

Y/n took a deep breath, her voice trembling slightly. "Donnie, we've been through a lot together, and I really value our friendship. But lately, I've been feeling something more. I think… I know...Okay...I have feelings for you Donnie."

Donatello's eyes widened in surprise, his mind racing to process her words. "Y/n, I… I don't know what to say."

Before he could find the right words, a loud hissing sound filled the lab. Donnie's eyes darted to a beaker on his workbench, which was boiling over and fizzing violently.

"Oh no!" he exclaimed, rushing to grab a towel.

Before he could reach it, the top of the beaker exploded with a small, harmless pop, sending a shower of foam and liquid across the lab. Donatello and Y/n were both splattered with the pink fizzing mixture.

For a moment, there was stunned silence. Then, Y/n burst into laughter, her eyes sparkling with amusement. Donatello couldn't help but join in, his own laughter filling the lab.

"Well, that was unexpected," Y/n said, wiping foam from her face.

Donnie grinned, shaking his head. "I guess I got a little distracted. Thankfully, the mixture wasn't harmful."

They both laughed again, the tension of the moment melting away. Donatello reached out and wiped a bit of foam from Y/n's cheek, his touch lingering a moment longer than necessary.

"You know, Y/n," he said softly, "even with exploding beakers, this has been one of the best moments of my life."

Y/n's heart swelled with warmth, and she leaned into his soft touch. "Mine too, Donnie."

Donatello took a deep breath, his eyes locking onto hers with a newfound determination. "Y/n, I need you to know something. I've had feelings for you too, for a long time. I was always afraid to say anything because I didn't want to risk our friendship. But now, I don't want to hide it anymore. I care about you so much and I do reciprocate those feelings."

Leah's eyes widened in surprise and joy. "Really? What about April?"

Donatello nodded, his expression earnest. "Yes, Y/n. I got over April. Look, You're amazing, and I want to be with you...I-If you'll be my girlfriend, that is..."

They stood there for a moment, Donnie reaching slowly to hold her hand gently. The world around them seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them in their shared happiness.

In that moment she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close foe a hug. he hesitantly wrapped his arms around her, stiffly before relaxing slowly. It was quiet a promise of many more moments to come, filled with love, laughter, and the bond that had brought them together.

As they cleaned up the lab side by side, their hearts were light, knowing that they had taken the first step on a new and exciting journey together. Donatello couldn't help but feel a sense of joy and contentment, knowing that Leah felt the same way. And with her by his side, he knew that their adventures would be even more special.

Little did the duo know, Splinter was just outside, listening to the whole exchange with a proud smile on his face, "That's my son." he nodded and made his way back to the dojo to continue his meditation.

[ihavenothingtodo10220]

ꨄHwang Hyunjin ideal typeꨄ

Quick disclaimer: His exact birth time is entirely unknown, so I calculating his natal chart with that in consideration. As such, this is not going to be as accurate as it could be, but as accurate as it can be with what I have to work with. There's a more in-depth reading of all things relationship based on his zodiac here if anyone is interested, but this will be mainly focused on his ideal type, and more in-depth on it than I was there. This is all for fun, and not confirmed. I can be entirely off, as astrology isn't...An exact art when it comes to these things, but this is just based on astrology. This is not meant to be malicious, and take this with a grain of salt. With all that out of the way, please enjoy!

Pisces Sun

-Based on his sun sign, a Libra, Sagittarius, Cancer, Scorpio, Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo, or another Pisces would be most compatible with him.

Values

Trusting and loyal He'd naturally be attracted to extremely honest people, as well as attracted to trust in others, plus people who are very upfront and open from the jump. Not the type who will tell their entire life story to him immediately, but the type who will be upfront with their feelings and desires, and will essentially let him know what exactly he's getting himself into. Essentially, he needs someone he knows for certain he can trust, and who trusts him in return. Pisces is a very trusting and loyal sign by nature, and he'd expect that in return from whoever he finds himself in a relationship with. He'd want someone who is as loyal to him as he would be to them, someone who can give as much as they get from him, which would be a lot in terms of these two traits.

Caring, nurturing, and honest Pisces look for people who can be there for them, and help care for them. Someone who is in-tuned with emotions, and can help ease them through tough, self-deprecating, or self-pitying periods and listen to their troubles, as well as talk about the deeper things in life. They need someone warm compassionate and caring, as well as ideally someone with confidence and steadfastness that helps balance out their sensitivity and generally self-pitying nature. Pisces also love praise, albeit they're very perceptive, so they'll know if it's honest, real praise or not. They like honest praise that's not just surface-level like "I like your shirt!" but something deeper and genuinely from the heart. They also need someone with enough emotional maturity to help combat their general emotionalness.

Decisive, steadfast, and intelligent Hyunjin would probably find himself more drawn to someone decisive, who knows what they want, and who voices their opinions. He'd also be drawn to someone who could help guide him, and offer advice and counsel when it comes to decision-making, without being entirely overbearing or controlling of his decisions. Someone who could help him out, and who he could talk to when trying to make important decisions he can't seem to decide on. He'd also need someone who wouldn't be distinctly bothered by the difference between his private and public personas and would know that he still loves them and he's always going to be Hyunjin. Pisces naturally has a divide between outward and inward desires, which would naturally make it so that he wants someone who can put up with that. I also think he'd either want someone who is entirely steadfast and the same outwardly and inwardly, to balance out his fluctuations. Someone constant, who can be an anchor.

Outward traits

Pisces men are attracted to confidence, in all aspects. Especially confidence in who someone is as a person. Someone who's always calm and collected, and moves with confidence elegance, and poise. Someone with a very open and pleasant expression. The person doesn't have to always be calm and collected but pisces men like someone who appears that way. It gives them the sense that they can be open and honest, and that they're not walking on eggshells. He'd also feel like he can trust them more, because they'd return that open honesty, and be relaxed around him. He also wouldn't want someone who's very needlessly abrasive. They are attracted to stronger, more athletic and assertive individuals because of their generally passive nature.

Pisces men are attracted to people who have very bright smiles where their eyes light up. Smiles that are sexy and wholesome at the exact same time. Someone who takes care of themselves, but doesn't do too much. Someone who puts thought into their outward appearance, and is well-groomed but not necessarily extravagant. Someone who does their hair, and if they wear makeup it accentuates their features but isn't too much. Smelling nice is also a must with Pisces men. They like when someone dresses in clothing they clearly put thought into, and are practical for the environment but still convey style. While Pisces men wouldn't necessarily mind people who show off a lot of skin in how they dress and find it attractive, nothing is sexier to them than someone who can show off their body fully clothed or tastefully covered. They prefer people who dress more elegantly, clothing that's flowy and gives an airy feel. They also use their imaginations a lot, so if clothing makes someone seem magical in a way, it will draw a Pisces more to them. Though they also prefer people who wear more comfortable clothing, that's either tight or loose.

Pisces are attracted to femininity. I'm not going to sit here and say Hyunjin is straight because I don't entirely know, but. I do know that Pisces appreciates more feminine energy. Whether that be a feminine guy or a gal. The feminine feel really differs from pisces to pisces, but generally, that's a preference. Pisces men prefer soft, delicate features and are attracted to people with smooth jaws, large lips, or features of that general nature. They're also attracted to large thighs and wide hips. Though they're not primarily attracted to more feminine builds. Pisces also rules hands and feet, so obviously, Pisces men are attracted to that. They like well-kept hands. and feet, as well as either powerful hands, or clean and delicate ones. They're also attracted to good posture. They also like people who can do work with their hands. They're also really attracted to people with beautiful eyes, as eyes are a window to the soul.

Virgo Moon

-Based on his moon sign, he'd be more compatible with: Cancer Moon, Gemini Moon, Taurus Moon, and Scorpio Moon. Moon sign compatability is definitely one of the most important, as it dictates one's emotions. It's who you are in private, and your comfort zone.

Values

Incapability Virgo moons definitely like to have someone they could care for, and look out for. They like being able to take care of their partners and feel needed by doing little things for them. Virgo moons are generally very domestic people, and they like taking care of chores and such. They definitely feel more in their element of caring for others and would prefer it to be that way. They're drawn to people who seem weak or even almost incapable, and who can't care for themselves on their own, so they can feel needed, and help out caring for that person. They'd prefer someone who needs help with things like bills, or balancing books, or other more domestic tasks, because they feel needed if they can do those things better. Definitely Captain save a ho vibes from Virgo Moons.

Calmness, outgoingness, routine, constant Hyunjin would probably be drawn to someone with a calm, more laid-back, or relaxed demeanor to offset his being prone to getting very stressed and overwhelmed. He'd probably look for someone with a calm, balancing aura who can help calm him down when he freaks out about something. He'd look for someone who can help draw him out of his shell just enough, but still be able to follow a routine, and be a reliable constant. He'd want someone with whom he'd know what he's getting himself into and know he can rely on. He'd want someone reliable and would definitely find himself more drawn to the type who are also very routine people like himself.

Practical, social, good listener, reliable, thick-skinned Hyunjin would inherently be attracted to people who are definitely affectionate but can be more subdued in public settings. He'd be drawn to someone who could bring him out of his shell and someone who he could feel entirely comfortable with. He'd want someone who can talk, and who can listen, and just genuinely someone he can talk to and even have deeper conversations with. He's a very trustworthy and reliable person, and as such, he'd naturally expect his partner to be the same. He'd want someone who talks to him about their problems but can also listen to his own. He'd definitely want someone who can bring out the more hidden sides of him, whether it be his talkative nature or his sexuality. He'd also want someone who makes him feel good about himself and his appearance. Someone who makes him feel like he's actually worth something. He has a lot to give, and anyone he's with should have a lot to give as well. He'd need someone who's more thick-skinned and could handle his criticism. He'd also need someone who trusts him but doesn't trust him immediately or blindly. Ironically, an excess of trust would make him trust his partner less. He could do good with someone who's more whimsical or dreamy, as they'd broaden the horizons of his inherent practicality, but at the same time, he'd be more drawn to like-mindedly practical people, and might even find someone too dreamy to be annoying. Virgos strives for perfection in all things, including partners. As such, Hyunjin will expect absolute perfection in relationships and partners, and can even be very critical because of it, since he'd feel like he's guiding you towards perfection by critiquing things.

Emotionally intelligent, straightforward, music lover, and patient Hyunjin would definitely want someone who is emotionally intelligent and competent but isn't overly emotional, again circling back to his attraction to those on the calmer side. He would want someone who's very straightforward in all manners, including emotions, and who wouldn't overwhelm him and can genuinely relax around. But he'd also want someone who can give him space when he needs it and is fine with that. He'd want someone who's as into music as he is, and who he can talk about music with all the time, and can even sing songs with. They don't have to be good at singing, but they just have to be able to sing along with him and have fun and no judgment. He'd also want someone who understands emotions and music as much as he does, as that amount of perceptiveness is harder to come by. He'd definitely want someone who's more in-tuned with and in control of their emotions. He'll want to test the waters first and make sure he can trust someone with his heart. As such, he needs someone patient enough to not be bothered by that.

Outward traits

Virgo moons are attracted to people with nice hands, wrists, and forearms. They're also attracted to distinctive eyebrows, and very good, rich voices. Eyes are also a big thing with virgo moons, as once again, eyes are the window to the soul. To be more specific, they like people with large 'gemstone eyes' they can get lost in. They like people with nice hair that's thick, curly, or wavy and nice facial features. They like dimples, and nice thighs, as virgo moons are firm believers that thick thighs save lives, regardless of gender, shoulders, and butts. They like longer necks, and strong jawlines. They also like people with nice smiles, and nice noses. They like well-distribution of features and weight, whether you're plus-sized or not they prefer nice distribution. They're very symmetrical people, and like their partners to have symmetry in their features. They're also very cerebral. Say one wrong thing? Immediate ick. Being wrong and sticking to it? Immediate ick.

Pisces Mercury

-Based on his Pisces Mercury, he's more compatible with people who have Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces mercuries. Mercury determines how people communicate, and communication is very important.

Values

Objective, stable, intellectual, seductive He definitely would not be drawn to a more moody individual, instead being drawn to people who can be more objective when it comes down to it, and are more calm and stable. He would be drawn to someone who can put up with the changes from talkative to withdrawn and would be fine with them. He'd also be drawn more to someone he could be more open to, and someone who isn't overtly aggressive, as he'd desire more calm in a relationship and avoids arguing. He'd need someone who can definitely knock some sense into him and combat his overall gullibleness, and his desire to believe those around him. He'd also be drawn to someone who he could be comfortable enough with to be straightforward, and voice his thoughts, needs, and opinions. He'd want someone with similar interests, and who's a fellow intellectual who. he can speak to about deeper topics, or literature. He'd also be attracted more to people who are alluring and sensual, kind of like the seductive type. He'd be attracted to someone with innate charm and beauty, not necessarily someone who fits beauty standards, but who he finds to be drop-dead gorgeous.

Pisces Venus

-Due to his pisces venus, he's much more compatible with people with venuses in Cancer and Scorpio. When it comes to romance, Venus is definitely where it's at when it comes to things like this.

Values

Savior/Needs saving, submissive or dominant He's attracted to an underdog or a wayward person in need of his help. He can easily get into saving someone or being saved, because he's attracted to martyrdom, or states of suffering. He is also attracted to being saved. (Captain Save a hoe) He's actually into inequality, surprisingly. He'd definitely go better with someone who is entirely submissive, or entirely dominant, no in-betweens. Not only that, but he'd go better with someone who can go with the flow and feel the relationship out with him, instead of just planning everything out. He'd do best with someone who could put up with his occasional lies to spare their feelings. Someone who could bring the truth out of him, or someone who could read him well enough to figure out the truth on their own. He'd also do best with someone who can put up with his indecision, and even possibly help guide him in that aspect.

Good-hearted, pessimist/realist, ambivert He definitely would want someone who's good-hearted like him, and definitely someone who's more calm and easygoing, and could fit into a life of ease and leisure. However, he could also go for someone who, for all their easygoing calmness, is a massive pessimist or realist, to balance him out and essentially take off his rose-tinted glasses. However, that may also create conflict. Definitely hit or miss. He'd do well with someone who's possibly an ambivert, someone who can be introverted or extroverted depending on the situation and give the best of both worlds. Someone who can keep up with him in social situations and also bring him out of his shell with new people.

Observant, mentally strong, loving So...Let's address the elephant in the room, which is obsession, possessiveness, and manipulation which are RAMPANT in his natal chart. He'd undoubtedly need someone who can both give up control, but also put their foot down. Someone who can easily notice the beginnings of manipulation and snuff them out in a tactful way. Someone strong mentally, to not let them get to them. Essentially someone who can stop the cycle. He needs someone with strong feelings, but definitely not with the same intensity as his own, not in a way that they don't love as strongly, but rather that they're not intense and controlling and manipulating. He needs someone who can balance him out and is much more mellow in their love. Someone who can put up with possessiveness to an extent, but won't let it grow worse or become a habit, or even grow too extreme. Essentially he'd need someone who could put their foot down while still being mellow and being able to put up with it in small dosages and not often.

Aries Mars

Values

Non-tempermental, holds grudges, rational, patient With his Aries mars, he'd have a nasty temper and have a quick fuse, though he'd get over these things quickly. No lingering hatred, or anger, or grudges. He'd definitely need someone with a temper not as quick as his. Someone who can put up with these flare-ups and think rationally, and help him cool down. But because he's prone to letting things go, he'd definitely end up finding himself with a partner who keeps his grudges FOR him. Kind of like that meme that's like "Okay, I hate him too now, because you're too nice and you don't know how to hate anyone right.". He'd also need someone who's more rational and takes time to think logically. Someone who can balance out his impulsiveness, and maybe even teach him to be more patient and to think things through more. Though additionally, he could also go well with someone who's just as impulsive, though I see that quickly spiraling out of control.

Fun, keeps him on his toes He'd need someone exciting and can keep him interested. Someone who is straightforward and has many layers, so they're always bringing something new to the table. He'd also love a chase, so he'd want someone who plays hard to get, but not too hard to get to where he grows bored of them. He needs someone fun, who can always keep him interested in them. Because...Well, let's be real here. With all his placements, commitment will be a major issue with him, and cheating may or may not happen.

Passionate, intense, driven, money conscious, humor He'd need someone who can match his passion and intensity when it comes to love and can indulge his darker desires. He'd need someone who's not necessarily as sporty and outdoorsy as he is, but at least keep him company or try for the sake of him to indulge him sometimes. He'd definitely need someone who is as driven as he is and could help him with his success. He'd need someone as honest and trusting as he is and someone who can actually earn his honesty and trust even if he has a tendency to give it to the unworthy. He'd also need someone to help him with his money management, who's more frugal or at least conscious of their spending, and has a plan and nice savings for the both of them. Again, he needs a realist and/or pessimist by his side. He'd also need someone with humor as well, and I can see him with someone competitive in a more playful way, who wouldn't just let him win but would definitely not play as hard if he was having a bad day.

Outward traits

An Aries mars man will be more attracted to pretty faces. A person with a strong jawline, sharp eyes, high cheekbones, and shapely legs can strongly attract him. He will always notice strong features in a partner. Aries mars men expect their partners to stand out from the crowd with unique features, and a partner with over-makeup that conceals their natural beauty will never attract him. Hence, less makeup without hiding natural looks will be the way to go with him. Aries mars men are incredibly masculine. Though they love strong and athletic-body type partners, they are still particular about the feminine aspect like Pisces are. No matter how independent or assertive his partner is, he wants to see their more... "feminine" side. Features like long hair or broad lips impress Aries men. He will also lose his heart to a person's tender hands and beautiful contours. Clothing highlighting "feminine" features will be more attractive in the eyes of Aries men. They like and appreciate it! An Aries man’s first choice is a person who cares about their appearance. Clean and hygienic people can easily attract Aries men. Let a person may or may not apply makeup. But they should be clean and hygienic for an Aries guy. Glowing skin, decent hairstyle, and well-dressed people are their primary choices. Thus, hygienic beauty always attracts sturdy Aries men. It doesn’t matter how attractive a people is if he thinks they are unclean.

Overview

So, as we can see, Hyunjin will definitely have an...Extensive criteria. He will expect perfection, trust, loyalty, a caring, nurturing, and honest nature, someone who's decisive, steadfast, and intelligent, someone who's calm, outgoing, routine, and constant, someone who's practical, social, a good listener, reliable, and thick-skinned, someone who is emotionally intelligent, straightforward, a music lover, and patient, someone who is objective, stable, intellectual, and seductive, someone who is non-temperamental, holds grudges, rational, and patient, someone who is fun, keeps him on his toes, someone who is passionate, intense, driven, money conscious, and funny.

Basically...He expects absolute perfection from a partner, and his standards are highly unrealistic. He will craft an image of his partners in his head, due to the heavy Pisces influence mixed with his virgo moon, which is highly unattainable, and the second someone does one thing to contradict that idea he made up in his head, he'll get the ick and lose interest completely.

Due to his Aries mars, he loves the chase and is extremely intense and passionate, but he easily loses interest. He likes to chase but will lose interest if he has to chase too much. And then there's his possessive, obsessive, yandere-like, manipulative, if I can't have you no one can type vibes. He definitely has the POTENTIAL to be a toxic partner, but in my opinion, those things are definitely balanced out by a lot of his other influences. Are they present? Yes. But he can fix that himself or a partner can help guide him with that, and they won't be too prevalent. In the bedroom?... Well, that's a blog for another day.

Also, Hyunjin may or may not cheat. He's very loyal, that's for certain, but that's when he's committed and in love. He loves a lot, and he loves fiercely, but who's to say the love is truly there? I feel like if someone doesn't meet the standards he set in his mind, or his idea of perfection, or he just grows tired of them, he'll find those things in someone else's arms. Not because he's inherently a cheater, but all his non-committal, wishy-washy placements when mixed with his Aries Mars, and his tendency to lie to spare feelings, would drive him to cheat on his partner if he falls out of love in any way instead of breaking up, because he wouldn't want to hurt them. However, once he finds the one, I think he will have absolute loyalty. The only issue is...Finding that one. In conclusion...He needs someone who can put up with all that. And meet all those impossible standards.

[macgyvermedical]

My Experience in Inpatient Psych

So I know a lot of people on here have talked about their experience in inpatient psych facilities, but I'd like to add mine just to give all you writers out there a writer-focused one. It's below the cut just in case you have to sit this one out for your own reasons.

To give you some background, I am 30 years old and have had hallucinations since about 16 and bizarre intrusive thoughts (someone living in my house that wasn't supposed to be there, somebody poisoned my walls, etc...) for about a decade, as well as very severe anxiety since I was about 3 years old. This is something not a lot of people know about me, even people I am friends with IRL.

The only thing I am actually diagnosed with is anxiety, which I'm starting to think is a failing of the psych systems I have been a part of. I have had counseling off and on and prior to this hospitalization I took escitalopram, aripiprazole, and gabapentin prescribed by my primary care doctor- all for the severe anxiety.

Quite frankly, I should have been in inpatient psych at least a few times before this, and it's by sheer dumb luck that I've survived to continue this blog.

On Friday, I was at home alone and made a few pretty bad decisions. I wont say what they were because frankly they're embarrassing, but they have to do with self-harm. I was scheduled to work Saturday and at about 9pm I realized that if I drove myself to work I would crash my car. Since my wife drives me sometimes, I figured I would just ask her to.

I told my wife and she asked- even if she drove me to work, since I was a nurse, would I be able to keep myself safe around insulin or other potentially dangerous drugs? I couldn't answer that question. We talked for a couple hours and came to the conclusion that I probably needed to go to the emergency department.

At this point I figured they would evaluate me and release me because I couldn't possibly meet the criteria for inpatient. I was wrong in this assumption. After telling them the decisions I had made that day, the feelings of wanting to die in a car crash, plus about a previous attempt, they recommended inpatient. Turns out, when you're a nurse, you can make some really bad life choices with the knowledge you have, and they didn't want to take any chances.

I was given paper scrubs to wear (so I couldn't hurt myself with my clothing or a hospital gown). I was also given a patient companion (someone who sits in the room and makes sure you don't hurt yourself).

They gave me the option of signing myself in voluntarily, or putting me on a writ of detention. A writ of detention is a piece of paperwork that allows a medical professional or law enforcement officer to hold someone for 3 days in a psychiatric facility against the person's will for the purposes of psychiatric treatment. Whether you sign the voluntary or get placed on a writ, you cannot sign yourself out. You need to wait until the psychiatrist taking care of you thinks you're ready to go.

I didn't believe at this point I needed to go inpatient, but I took the voluntary option because there are some perks, like being able to leave within 3 days if appropriate. At this point I was convinced I was probably going to have to call off work Saturday and Sunday, probably be out of the hospital Monday, have a few days to rest and be back at work on my next scheduled shift after that, which was Thursday.

Well, that's not what happened.

Because of some of the decisions I had made, along with bed availability, they wanted to keep me in the observation unit overnight before they sent me to psych. I stayed overnight in a unit that shares staff with the unit I work on, so I was taken care of by my coworkers. This was surprisingly not that bad. I like my coworkers and they were really professional about it.

Saturday I felt like I was in a fog all day. I couldn't watch TV. I couldn't color or write. I worked out some in my hospital room and paced the halls once or twice. Mostly I hung out with my wife and occasionally talked with my companion, but even talking was difficult. I had refused ativan because I felt like I had no hope of finding a medication that made me feel better, and I figured I didn't want to take the one medication that might actually work and then not be able to get it ever again.

Around 7PM I took a 45 minute ambulance ride to the facility. Getting my blood pressure taken is a big anxiety trigger for me, but my brain felt so scrambled that I couldn't express this well. They took it every 10 minutes on the ride there and by the time I got there it was in the 170s/100s (BP goes up when you're having severe anxiety). This was not their fault of course, but no matter how much I thought about telling them or refusing the BPs, I just couldn't do it.

When I got to the facility I was greeted by a tech who took my BP again (150s/90s this time), showed me around and looked through my personal belongings (basically just the clothing I came in with since my wife took my phone and wallet knowing I wouldn't be able to have them on the unit) to make sure I didn't have anything I wasn't allowed to on the unit. She showed me around my room and was really thorough with telling me how things worked, what the rules were, etc..

The rules included:

No patients allowed in other patients rooms

No personal belongings that had strings, belts, or laces, or that could be used as a weapon

No caffeine after lunch and no free access to caffeine

No personal electronics (including eReaders and watches). There was a TV in the day room and 2 phones mounted to the wall for patient use

A little later my nurse came into my room and asked me a ton of questions. Here's the thing about any hospital- you get asked the same questions over and over. By the time I'd gotten there I could give my story in under a minute. Or at least, that's what it felt like. There were only 2 clocks on the unit, at the nurses stations.

The unit itself was laid out in a "T" shape. There was a main nurse's station at the place where the two hallways intersected. At the end of the long hallway there was another smaller nurses station, a cafeteria/day room, and a "comfort room" which was a small room off the day room that had a collection of the oldest and worst donated books that have every come together on a bookshelf.

I did some pacing that night and then went to bed, but didn't sleep particularly well.

On Sunday morning the tech woke me up to take my blood pressure, which was, not unsurprisingly, still high. It was about 5 AM so I got up and paced the longer of the corridors for about an hour. Breakfast was served at 8 and the food wasn't that bad. The coffee was about the worst I'd ever drank, which I suppose helped with the no caffeine goals.

Just after breakfast I met with a psychiatrist on an iPad for about half a minute, and I'm not exaggerating there. The only questions he asked were whether I was suicidal and whether I would be fine with tripling my dose of aripiprazole in light of the hallucinations. I had had a 50-lb weight gain in the last year so I asked to switch my med. He switched the med to cariprazine. That was all.

I had a much longer meeting with my nurse later. All the nurses did an excellent job of assessing me, asked tons of questions, and it seemed like they really tried to figure out what was going on. That day I also met with a social worker, and a therapist, and a nurse practitioner. Each of them did an assessment to see what my needs were while I was there.

There was also a music therapy session where I cried my eyes out to Because of You by Kelly Clarkson.

I was really tired by the end of the day but I also didn't think I could sleep so I asked for trazodone. I should clarify that when I say "I" in this piece I really mean my wife convinced me to ask because I legitimately didn't believe I needed or deserved any of the things I asked for at this point. To my utter shock and surprise, they gave me the trazodone.

My first night on trazodone was amazing and I realized I hadn't slept well in a long time. With trazodone I fell asleep and stayed asleep until the blood pressure cart came rolling down the hallway at 5am. The second I got up on Monday morning I was wide awake.

I paced a lot Monday. I went to a goals session in the morning where I gave a goal to write 3/4 of a page. I didn't know if I could do it or what I was even going to write about, but I know I like to write and it might be a reasonable introduction to getting back to life.

I also was having kind of a rough day brain-wise. My brain was coming up with all the ways I could hurt myself in my room. There weren't a lot of them, but it was trying. I told the nurse during her assessment and she asked if I felt I could keep myself safe. I asked her what she would do if I said no. She said they could move me to a more secure part of the unit and give me more supervision. I knew what part of the unit she was talking about, and I didn't want to go there (no space to pace, and pacing was keeping me alive right then). So I told her I could keep myself safe (if anything, the idea of moving was good motivation to do stay safe in itself). I hallucinated some black and white blood cells falling from the ceiling and music coming out of my vents.

I also had another meeting with the social worker to figure out discharge plans. I voiced in the meeting that I wasn't sure that I could trust my wife, since it felt like at the time she was the one who exaggerated my symptoms to get me in here. The social worker said we had really good communication skills, since this was something I felt needed to be said in front of both of them and we both stayed really calm through the whole thing.

I finished the day with an art therapy session that really helped me turn a corner. The prompt was to draw the emotion(s) you felt right now on one side of the paper, and to draw the emotions you wished you could feel on the other side. For the first time I realized that my emotional state was actually really bad and that the suicidality hadn't come out of nowhere, and that I needed help.

When my wife came to visit later that night I was able to tell her about my breakthrough, even though I still felt a little bit like she had done something to get me in here and I still wasn't sure I needed to be inpatient.

Tuesday was a lot better. I felt like I had woken up out of some kind of fog and I had no idea how long I'd been in it. I went to goals group, a spiritual group, and group occupational therapy. My goal was to be more social and I made a friend and we paced together and worked out. I read a quarter of The Martian by Andy Weir (my wife brought it for me because the best thing on the bookshelf was Louis L'Amour). I wrote about how good I suddenly felt. Turns out, I thought, a few days of good sleep, lots of therapy, and a new medication or two will really change things.

A quick side note about The Martian. I highly recommend it to anyone who is chilling in a psych hospital but has the ability to read while they're there (I sure didn't the first few days). I don't really know why, but the first few times I read it, I felt like they had created this superhuman character in Mark Watney just so they could throw a ton of wild things at him for the story. This time reading it, as a suddenly not suicidal person, I realized anyone with Mark's skill would have done the same thing and not just died on Sol 7 to get it over with.

Wednesday I woke up not feeling nearly as good as Tuesday, but still like the fog had lifted. I was a little disappointed (I hallucinated my cat (thanks for coming to visit me, Corina), some spiders, and just felt kinda meh. But I remembered how good I felt the day before, and that really kept me hopeful about going home.

I saw the psychiatrist again and asked to go home. He joked a little about me staying till Christmas, but ultimately he said as soon as his note was in I could go. I ended up leaving at about 12:30 with my wife.

In the time since leaving I have required a lot of support from my wife. The medications are all locked up, so are the blades and anything I could use to hurt myself. My wife has me in eyeshot at all times. I can't drive due to intrusive thoughts, so she does all the driving now. I quit my job because I feel like it was a big part of why I ended up as bad as I was. As someone who has been a pretty independent person this is a big change of pace, but something that is really necessary to my healing.

Ultimately at the end of my hospital stay, I was prescribed escitalopram, gabapentin, trazodone, cariprazine, and then a few days later propranolol. I'm currently on a total of 5 psych meds and honestly I don't care one bit because its so much better than being not on them at this point in my life.

[stormbound58]

My take of "The What-Ifs, Season 2 Version"

The Brooklynn Reveals

What-If 1.) Darius alone met Brooklynn

Darius was separated from Sammy, Yasmina, and Zayna when Red is chasing Capt.Lang. Red Spotted Darius and goes after him, Darius lost Red by hiding in a room, unbeknownst to him he got inside the control room, Darius turns around to see someone who thought died months ago, yet, Brooklynn is standing right before him. Brooklynn manage to save Yasmina, Sammy, and Zayna from White (Let's call that Eyeless Baryonyx for now) she gets up and was about to aproch the door when Darius barged inside. Both of them took a moment to process when they realized they're have some serious talk between them.

What-If 2.) What if Ben told the others about Brooklynn. Ben had 5 chances to do this.

2.1) In the Lifeboat: He could've told them, but they would think he's hallucinating

2.2) When he got back at Episode 2: He showed what he saw earlier at the phone at them. (This can be connected to 2.1 or not)

2.3) If he accidentally slip up:

A:) During the boat Ride: Ben grew furstrated on making conntact with Brooklynn and blurt out she's alive.

B:) After the Hippo attack: Ben is deperate to get the phone back while the others who're trying to calm him down. Ben shouted he needs to know what is Brooklynn duing.

2.4) When Ben have a Panic Attack: Despite Brooklynn's warnings. Ben fails to composed himself and falls into a full-blown panic attack, aftewards Ben tells them about Brooklynn's last call, knowing he broke his promis to her.

2.5) Yasmina's Counselling Session: When Yasmina tries to have Ben open up his trobles, Ben tells her about knowing Brooklynn alive. Ben and Yas had a 1on1 talk.

What-If 3.) Darius found out Brooklynn Staying at Ronie's:

3.1) Ronie called Darius about something important, yet classified. Darius got to Ronie's house and Darius found Brooklynn there. (Some time Before/After she woke up.)

3.2) Darius finds out: Darius wants to check Gordon (Injured Compy) and he has a spare key to Ronie's, he went inside and founds out two things, first is that Ronie isn't home, and second he saw Brooklynn. Cue a lot of explaining and conspiracies full of angst and comfort.

What-If. 4.) Brooklynn stayed for a moment when she brought the Container down.

That scene when Brooklynn looked up on the container holding Darius, Sammy, Yasmina and Zayna&Geba. She brought the container down, instead of going away after, she stayed and met them. Featuring Sammy' cries and bear hugs, mother Yaz lectures her child, an Awkward tension between B & D, Zayna is confused, And Geba is Geba. Afterwards they formed a plan (of somekind, idk) met up with Ben and Kenji and tries to stop Soyona.

What-If 5.) Brooklynn choose her friends instead of joining Soyona on the plane.

There's already one fanfic on Ao3. But as the Watcher said "Every Universe is a Different Possibility."

[lipstickchainsaw]

Anyway, that's enough talk about thematic parallels, and psychological profiles, and sociological roles, and imagery, and let's instead talk about the cold hard politics of the current moment within Arcane.

Now, the Arcane has taken Ekko, Heimerdinger and Jayce out of the game, and the Black Rose has kidnapped Mel besides, which we'll soon see has a massive impact on how things unfold.

Piltover

In Piltover, Ambessa just made her move to install a puppet dictator, whose martial dominance is very dependent on Noxian troops at the moment. She made a quick switch from Salo, who she was obviously grooming as a patsy, to Caitlyn. Caitlyn will be much more capable in the role, given that she actually has something resembling military experience, and harder to dislodge than Salo would've been, but this is a double-edged sword.

After all, Caitlyn being competent means she has opinions on how to wage the war Ambessa wants her to wage, and it also means that Caitlyn will buck against Ambessa's control if she ever were to find out Ambessa was behind Renni's attack on the memorial. She'll need a lot more careful and skilled handling, and with Mel kidnapped, Ambessa's likely to be distracted...

Here we see the impact of the missing players, because Jayce was on Caitlyn's path (although Mel won the battle for his soul against Ambessa), and a close friend to counsel her against this course of action; Mel would be able to push back against this entire thing politically, even if it wouldn't be as straight-forward as ousting Salo, and Heimerdinger, for all that he was retired, probably has the clout up here to make his resistance to this Noxian coup enough to cause a lot of doubt.

Now, we have no idea how sentient the Arcane is, but the Black Rose definitely took Mel off the board for a reason, given the timing. Now, does that mean they knew about the Caitlyn switch and want this to happen, or were they also of the opinion Ambessa was putting Salo in, and took Mel out so that would happen? How caught off guard by this were they?

Regardless, with the fake 'assassination attempt', and Jinx' last stunt, Ambessa and Caitlyn have enough of a casus belli to start a full-scale invasion. Without Jayce, though, Ambessa won't be getting her Hextech weapons anytime soon, so she's going to have to be managing Caitlyn for a while. How long is it going to take for her to realise what's going on?

Zaun

Yeah, they're two wholly separate political entities at this point. Silco got his nation of Zaun, it just wasn't as clean and peaceful a break as he would've liked. That and Zaun is, uh, kind of a mess. Leaderless, the place is tearing itself apart, and that's not a situation you want to be in when there's an army about to march through your streets.

On top of that, the fragile situation leaves various agents very vulnerable to manipulation from outside forces, like Renni marching to her death on Ambessa's invitation, and Smeech eager to sell Jinx out.

So what options for unification does Zaun have right now?

Chross and Margot, the remaining Chem Barons, have made it pretty clear they're not going to be banding together to form a unified front against Piltover, too busy battling over the scraps Silco left behind, although they are causing enough low-level chaos to be a problem for everyone else. If either of them wins, they'll likely have a lot of the criminal element of Zaun consolidate behind them, and that's an element that's enjoyed a lot of power traditionally.

The Firelights, essentially the main resistance against Silco in the Undercity, might be able to step in and become a more dominant faction. Unfortunately, they're not set up to take on that kind of role, ideologically or structurally, and with Ekko gone, it's unlikely they'll be able to change that in a reasonable timeframe.

Viktor certainly has the potential to build up a power base that could become politically relevant, if he organises the poor and downtrodden into one coherent political block. Yes, his narrative is mostly a prophecy narrative, but religious structures don't exist separate from political ones (unless you make the political choice to enforce that separation). Unfortunately, he's only just starting out, and Zaun needs to get its shit together pronto.

So that leaves the actual inheritors of Silco's legacy: Jinx and Sevika. Sevika is a born second in command, and has essentially played kingmaker in previous shifts of power, so by getting her on board, Jinx has secured an important key to power over Zaun, but she hasn't exactly been thinking of herself as a political actor. So let's do some of that thinking for her.

She's Piltover's most wanted, of course, but what has she really done, from the perspective of the average Zaunite? Killed a number of Enforcers during the Progress Day thing, which isn't great, but Zaunites aren't necessarily sympathetic to Enforcers.

She then blew up Marcus and some additional Enforcers on the bridge. Yes, Marcus had just shot Ekko and was about to shoot Caitlyn, but any 'saviour' spin on that would run into the fact that Jinx tried to kill them both after. Still, the fight over the bridge was a big deal in Vander's day, and the people of Zaun weren't exactly happy with the blockade, so she might even come out ahead in this.

She kidnapped Caitlyn, but Zaunites aren't going to be very sympathetic towards her after her Strike Team, let alone the dictator thing. Yes, this is very much a result of Jinx' actions, but I don't think the people of Zaun are going to see it that way.

She blows up three councilors, and this is obviously a massive escalation, but how many Zaunites have died since? Why do these guys get to be this big of a deal? I feel like the ceremony surrounding this caused more resentment than anything.

Then she saved Isha from Chross' goons, and took out Smeech, one of the chem barons causing so much chaos on the streets of Zaun, both of which will boost her public standing, even before she takes on the Strike Team poisoning everyone.

And then she does her stunt with the paint bombs, mixed with the very toxic fumes Caitlyn's Strike Team was using on the people of Zaun, which we see a lot of people watch with excitement. You put all this together, and you can see why she ends up getting popular support.

There's two problems here. For one thing, she is strongly tied to Silco's regime. People who hated Silco's rule and knew it well enough to know her ties to it will not be happy with her. She can't even frame herself as a rebel against him (even if taking out Marcus would fit that narrative well), because the fact that she killed Silco would threaten her coalition with Sevika, and betray the image of her day, which wouldn't be good for her mental health.

So she could reframe him as a bastion of stability. When he disappeared, things went to shit, so making people think back to him more fondly could work. After all, Silco got a statue for Vander, despite it all.

Her second problem is that the most reasonable faction here will have a serious problem with her, because she killed a whole bunch of them. The Firelights are not going to be happy about Jinx becoming a popular figure, and without Ekko present, they're going to have trouble negotiating that relationship as well. Then again, it might also mean they won't be able to hold back the tide of public opinion.

Then there's Vi, who isn't currently in any mental state to be doing any politics, but could be a dark horse source of legitimacy as Vander's kid, should she be able to find herself again.

Of course, there's also Singed, who has Warwick as, uh, actual Vander for his kids to face. Singed attached himself to Silco for his resources, and now Silco's dead. Is Singed still looking for someone amoral to give him those resources? If so, he might attach himself to one of the chem barons. The creation of Warwick could, however, give him enough of a power base to pursue his own goals, whatever those may be...