#they're both so messed up and traumatized

[asitrita]

Over half of my Doffy & Rosi playlist (actually, over 75%) is the exact same as my aph Spain & aph Portugal playlist.

[goldengrecha]

Today I'm thinking about manga versions of Maxie and Archie, because it's something... I even dont have words for it. Like. Holy fucking shit.

In the beginning, of course, they're confront each other - that's the classic, they're rivals after all, standing for different things and all that things. They're different. They're opposites. They're still strongly exist in each other lives, because of their conflict.

But then

This happens. And this IS beginning of the end, because of course they're working together - and at the moment it looks like it is only for benefits for their goals, nothing else. They will destroy each other when they will get to finish.

They're fucking irritating(/pos), it almost feels like they're drawn to each other, in any scenario, their destiny is to meet, to exist in each other lives. None of them exist alone (and when one of them do exist alone, it means that something went terribly wrong).

AND THEN THINGS JUST GO EVEN WORSE (/pos)

This panel. I don't know where to start.

Do I need start with that they're realizing they work together perfectly? Do I start with that this making them thinking they needed to work together from the beginning? Do I start with that two men, who, up until this point, was fighting with each other and conflicting, hating each other, founded in each other the best partner they ever could have? Do I start with that they're probably the best persons in each other lives?

It is already very emotional (at least for me), but with how story goes on, they're connecting more and more, becoming even more emotionally fucked up.

AND THEN THERE IS EMERALD ARC???? CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT EMERALD ARC???????

There is so much going on in emerald arc I barely can find words for describing my emotions.

This is the fucking tragedy. Because, what do you mean, they're put in situation where is only one of them can leave alive for some more time? (Remember how I said that if only ONE if them exist it means that some shit is going to happen something going to go really terrible. It either them both exist or them both don't).

What do you mean Archie is literally killed Maxie, just for chance of living a little longer?

And this is tragedy, because Archie, in the end, loses again. And now, not only he does lose in literal sense - he didn't achieve his goal, after all. He loses everything he had - his team, his life, and most importantly, he loses his only friend. He is all alone now.

Ah yeah can we talk about

This?

It's just one phrase. It has so much in it.

Not only he calls Maxie friend, not only he confess that Maxie probably the only one person which Archie was thinking as a friend, but also like.

Consider this: this isn't oras archie yet. This version of archie is cold, closed and gloomy, genuinely intimidating person. He doesn't care about his team members, it is kind of okay for him to use them as tools (which, ironically, shows even in this interaction with Maxie: after all, Archie still killed him for a chance of living a bit longer. And Archie acknowledging that he betrayed Maxie. He betrayed his only one friend). He is a cold person, but it almost seems like Maxie managed to warm him up a bit, just a little bit. This is actually incredible and, again, endlessly emotional, and I still can't stress this enough. Holy fucking shit.

Just imagine Archie at this point. Imagine, because, the best person in his life always was his rival. His rival, and maybe, even friend.

And I told about this before, but can we talk about that in distorted world they became one? It's just so symbolic. Like, Archie and Maxie from beginning were opposites, they was supporting opposite things, their goals was completely opposite. But they can't choose only one of this, because everything around them is a combination of different, sometimes opposite things. Like even the land and water in Hoenn! Exactly this combination of land and water create Hoenn as we know it, and how they know it. And they, people, who choosed only one of these things, in the end, became the one themselves - isn't this ironic? Isn't this funny? Isn't it symbolic in some way? (I also fucking love how this fusion explain in some way why when oras hits, Maxie is more like original Archie, and Archie more like original Maxie. They had explored each other minds I'm sure of it)

And finally, ORAS, part that I love the most.

Not only they both was given chance of living again, but this is literally their peak. They're working together again - and by that I mean they're working perfectly together.

They even acknowledge it themselves:

And this is so good in contrast with Ruby and Sapphire arc - back then, they too, realized and started to think they're work perfectly together, but it still was mixed with some evil fucked up shit, but here? They're working together because they (ironically), have the same goal. And they're helping each other.

They're working together perfectly, this is so good for them. And no evil bullshit this time! It's actually best versions of them in some way - because they're working together, for sake both of humanity and pokemon. They working towards happiness and safety for everyone, not choosing and prioritizing only one of them.

And they're talking to each other as if they was old friends, partners, every one of their interactions shines with this somewhat warm feeling. This is so good for them. I would even dare to say that ORAS part was the happiest moments in their lives.

And.. Then end of ORAS hits.

And, again, as classic already, it's a small panel, but how much here is.

First of all, can I point that Archie died two times, and both times he was thinking of Maxie in some way?

And both times is some kind of emotional moment for Archie: first time, he calls Maxie friend (he doesn't call him by name, but. He obviously talking about him COME ON), and second time he ask Maxie, if he would want to work together again, if they will have chance to do so. I just love seeing this progression, how Maxie became more and more dear person for Archie as time goes on, how he became more attached to him. And Maxie does too!

It is such an incredible moment filled with so much emotions, with so much sense. I love how Archie doesn't even say his question fully, but Maxie still understands him. Of course he does, because, I'm sure, even if Archie didn't ask this, Maxie still would think of it. I'm sure if none of them said this, they still would understand this wish to work together again that they both have. At this point, they are incredibly connected together, and they have only each other.

I also love this moment, because when Archie died first time, he was told that, if he will continue like this, he will end up all alone. And Archie agrees to that: he answer in the way that he is already accepted that he is alone now, and he doesn't even have Maxie by his side (I still can't get over that he really highlighted him in this speech holy fucking shit). BUT then, when he appears next time, he appears as ORAS self, and his ORAS self is very different from what he was, not only as a person, but his motivation is different, too.

He changed in some way. And he ISN'T alone, because now, Maxie is by his side again. And I can't stop thinking about how happy it probably made Archie.

And even dying, he is calm, because he isn't alone. He have Maxie by his side. His only friend.

[tealvenetianmask]

I want to talk about a kind of troubling reaction I've been seeing to both Apology Tour and Ghostfuckers among parts of the fandom. The person is usually a reaction youtuber but sometimes someone writing on tumblr or twitter. They say something along the lines of "oh, I'm glad Blitz is being forced to confront his crimes/traumas/pain. This is the only way he will finally heal."

That's not how healing works.

I know that reaction youtubers don't always have the most developed takes because they're . . . you know . . . reacting in the moment. But I think it's still worth talking about.

I'm going set aside the people who seem to believe that Blitz needs to be punished for his crimes, and address those who genuinely think that getting a tidal wave of his own trauma in his face is what he needs to heal.

There's an attitude in contemporary culture that traumas are something people need to confront. As in, put on a brave face and dive in like a big boy. I blame capitalism, rugged individualism, and all the pieces of media that tie up a character's arc neatly by having them confront their darkest fears and insecurities. It can put a nice bow on things, but it isn't really how healing from trauma works.

Apology Tour:

Blitz gets confronted by a shit ton of people who hate him, at least some of whom are his exes, who he feels he's personally damaged. The decor and party games are all about killing and torturing him. Verosika confronts him about how much he hurt her. Oh, and then he sees the love of his life, who he's just recently pushed away, making out with another guy- proof, in his eyes, that Stolas is happier without him. And this all reflects the underlying fears he already has about who he is as a person (shown to us by Truth Seekers).

So what was the takeaway? Blitz came to the conclusion that he doesn't always want to be like this (good, but like . . . worth this much pain?). He flops on his steering wheel (relatable). He stops trying to reach out to Stolas (uh oh . . . ). He spends A MONTH spiraling in his own misery and making a mess of all aspects of his life until he's dragged out of it by a caring friend.

The party doesn't empower Blitz to change. It knocks him down and fucking traumatizes him (seriously, images of Stolas from the party show up later in his trauma reel) too much for him to be able to do actually work toward said change. I suspect that if left to his own devices, he would have kept spiraling for quite a while longer. It's one thing to want to change, and another to try to do so alone in the aftermath of a pile-on.

Ghostfuckers

After Blitz drags himself out of his hole of cheesy ice cream and despair to "play sex ghosts" (escapism, again, still knocked down by Apology Tour), infester demon Rolando picks him out as an easy target and assaults him, yes, assaults, with horrific images of his worst traumas and fears.

Not to state the obvious, but Rolando isn't interested in helping Blitz heal. He's trying to kill the guy. He wants to engulf Blitz in his trauma to the extent where he's consumed by it and loses the will to fight back. And as some excellent posts by others have pointed out already, he very likely would have succumbed if not for Millie's support.

Millie helps Blitz get through the onslaught by telling him about what makes him great and how he's improved her life and showing him love and care. And by literally beating the fucking infester out of him. Because there's someone in him who's hurting him, who's re-traumatizing him against his will. She takes him away from the reel of horrible memories.

So . . . do I think that confronting traumas can play a role in healing? Sure. But only if it's consensually (which neither of these situations are) and when the person trying to heal is ready. And most likely in small doses. No one's going and successfully confronting every horrible thing that's ever happened to them in one go.

And in my humble opinion, it's not going to work (for anyone, but especially not for Blitz) alone and without a healthy dose of kindness and compassion (both external and internal).

Blitz has a long road ahead of him toward healing, and it's going to be hard work on his part but also require love and support from the people in his life.

In a wonderful moment near the end of Ghosfuckers, Blitz and Millie work together to get Blitz's wrecked van unstuck and push it back through the portal into Hell. I love it because it's so simple and it kind of tells us everything we need to know. This sweet and salty gremlin has a lot of work ahead of him, but he doesn't have to do it alone.

[lovelykil]

heart eyes─

ᯓ izuku midoriya

note; this was inspired by a cai bot :3 I lowkey rushed at the end. I am very sleepy 😔

everything was fine.. before Izuku got hit with a villain's peculiar quirk in a fight you and a few of your classmates participated in.

when you saw him cry out in pain you quickly punched the guy you were fighting and passed him to the cute doe-eyed girl.

"ah-! Wait Y/-"

"give him a final blow Uraraka!" You yelled out as you ran toward Midoriya. Uraraka watched as you dashed over to the hurt teen with the stunted man in her arms. Her curious eyes widened, but she was brought back to reality when the villain gained back consciousness.

"oh, right!"

you swiftly did a run and slide over to his injured self and immediately began to check on him. The villain that used their quirk on him was far gone, they ran from the scene with a cheeky laugh. You looked over at the disappearing villain and cursed,

"crap she got away.." as you grumbled you heard Izuku mumble something in pain, he groaned picking his head up. Your hand remained on his back when you quickly turned around.

"Oh Midoriya, are you alr—"

"I.. don't feel so good.." He looked up at you with his eyes sealed closed and his brows knitted together in pain.

"what did she do to you— oh?" Your eyes dilated in shock when he fluttered his eyes opened. His pupils were now.. heart shaped?

It took him a moment to adjust to his environment, his eyes shifted a few times before they landed on you. That's when his eyes began to dilate.

"oh wow you're so prettyy.. hahahaa." His speech was a little slurred as if he was drunk, he seemed like a completely different person when he spoke to you. You felt your cheeks warm up.

"What the???"

"and that's the last of them! I shall inform the police we have captured these hooligans." Iida adjusted the sticky tape thanks to sero, wrapped around the remaining villains. All four of them looked embarrassed and irritated they got their ass beaten by a bunch of teenagers.

uraraka came in to join on the surface after successfully restricting that one villain you passed on to her, she held onto sero's tape that was wrapped tightly around the villain and held it like a balloon. "and there's another, release!" The villain came crashing down on the hard ground with a thud while uravity landed quite delicately on the hard surface.

the three students smiled in contentment at one another, they served their amount of justice for today it seemed, and were ready to head back to their dorms.

"the cops will be here shortly!" Iida exclaimed as he set his phone away from his ear.

"greaatt, can't wait to head back now! I'm starvin'." Sero rubbed his tummy with a relieved smile.

"awesome! Now— oh wait deku and Y/n! I saw her rush over to him I'm not sure what happened but it seemed urgent." The doe-eyed girl looked around for you and quickly spotted two bodies, you and izuku.

"they're over there!" She pointed and started forward. Sero followed along quickly after but Iida stayed to watch the villains, he watched in the distance with a worrisome face.

"Y/n! Is everything fine? We captured all the villains and—" both of the two heroes stopped in their tracks once you turned around in a very eerie manner at their voices. Your head turned slowly to reveal Izuku with his arms around your neck and him desperately trying to kiss you. Your face was a mess of a red shade as well as dark and disturbed.

the two heroes who came to save you watched in shock, Uraraka even blushed herself she was even more surprised.

"help... me..." You croaked out dramatically. Something traumatizing for sure happened when those three were out fighting and you were left alone with izuku.

"WHAT HAPPENED??" In unison, sero and uraraka yelled out, stunned at the sight.

. . .

after taking izuku to the nurse she sent him back, he wasn't really injured but affected by a quirk .. so she couldn't do much to help the boy only thing she mentioned was "the quirk will eventually wear off within maybe a day so it would be better if he rested to cause nomore.. drama."

"I'll make sure he gets to his dorm since he apparently doesn't want to let go of me." You try your hardest to push the green-haired boy away but his grip around your arm is too strong. You groan.

uraraka and sero chuckle together, "hopefully the quirk will go away when he wakes up."

"yeah, let's pray." You nonchalantly reply with a grin, you turn around after giving those two a wave. They wave back and watch you disappear with Izuku still so close to you.

"I wonder what that villain's quirk was and has deku acting like that.." uraraka mumbles with her hand to her chest, her eyebrows knit, she was worried.

sero pats her back for comfort, "he'll be fine! He's gone through much worse anyway." uraraka's worried eyes soon change as she gazes up at him, her hand falls momentarily. "I guess you're right."

. . .

"and we're finally here..." You finally let out a sigh of relief now being in izuku's room. Your head lifts itself up and your met with so much all might merch. Your eyes dilate.

"oh boy."

I forgot he is such a fanboy... you say to yourself.

izuku suddenly drags you over to his bed by the arm, you hadn't had time to even take in his room and he was already starting his bullshit caused by that damn quirk... that love quirk you now know of.

"ahg-! Izuku?!" He places you onto his bed with no time to spare, it's like he was waiting.. to do this. He pushes your body down on his sheets with his strong hands as he slowly climbs on top of you.

you don't have time to hide your blush, you don't have time to even process this situation anyway !!! Your cheeks were so hot you were practically boiling.

he had put you in a pot and was going to eat you ALIVE.

"y/n.. I.. I'm sorry I can't really help it, it's like something inside of me.. just really wants you." His heart-shaped pupils stare right into your shocked ones. His voice was so low and whiney as he apologized it made you gulp hard.

temptation was getting to you.

you've always liked him and for some time really, but you never told him,, only because you guys were focusing on becoming heroes and because you guys were good friends. You didn't wanna ruin anything.. but apparently now, that didn't seem to matter.

izuku was quite literally in between your legs now, his hot breath you could feel on your lips drove you crazy. He was so close.

"izu.." You breathe out, your eyes narrow down to his lips then to his love sick eyes.

his hand makes it to your warm cheek and caresses it lightly with his thumb. His other hand sneaks it's way onto your waist, after that you immediately folded he's got you now.

anything he says now you'll obey.

shit.. your eyes dart away, flushed as ever.

"aw come on, look at me sweetheart." His sweet voice rings in your ear. Your head turns almost immediately and he smiles.

"you're so cute when you get nervous you know?" His hand on your waist starts to slide up and down as he whispers to you. You choke out

this was to much, you wanted to escape, run away, something! But then again you wanted him to kiss you so badly, you were practically dying for it to happen already.

"I.. uhm" He simply smiles once again, watching you struggle to say something. His heart-shaped eyes looked to soften in size as he gazes upon you. Oh how so cute you look, it was finally time.

izuku wasn't really izuku right now obviously because of the quirk, but a little bit of him still remained in control. He felt a bit nervous currently but thanks to the quirk you couldn't detect it. He also wanted to kiss you, badly.

but was that really him or the quirk?

"I.. I wanna kiss you, is that okay?" He mutters, suddenly his gaze leaving yours. His hand leaves your waist and he leans away. He's playing with his fingers suddenly?

you slowly sit upwards from the wall and study him, he is fidgeting, is he nervous now?

"you want to kiss me?" your eyes light up, sparkle even. He looks up and nods, the way he does it is so cute . He looks so shy now with his green eyes softening at you.

you think for a second, will he even remember this kiss?

your eyes find his and leave them there, your lips curl suddenly, and you nod.

It would be better if he didn't remember... it would save the embarrassment.

"you can kiss me." Izu lips part, he's taken back at your reply. He's about to speak but something inside him seems to switch on. His fingers twitch and you notice his pupils, heart-shaped, dilate again.

oh no, it's back.

"oh you're so cute I can't wait to taste you sweetheart.." izu moves forward again, he makes you lean back against the wall. You blush a bright red, your nerves are back gosh he is so DIFFERENT now..

not so soft and shy but flirty and obsessed.

"taste??!" You blurt out as he lifts your chin toward him. He smirks, his eyes narrowing to your sweet lips.

"that's what I said, no?"

. . .

"should we tell deku dinner is being served? Or let him sleep?" Uraraka asks iida who walked beside her.

"well y/n hasn't made her way to the common room so she is most likely with Midoriya right as we speak. We should inform her and have her bring dinner to him." Iida states. They both motion toward Izuku's room, growing closer.

"that seems good, I hope he's okay though and she isn't having to much trouble with—"

"AAAAAHHHH MIDORIYAAA, STOP !!!"

a loud shriek echoes through the halls that made the two wandering students stop dead in their tracks.

"what in the world was that??" Iida looks around, alarmed. Uraraka points to the door.. izukus's door.

"It came from there!" The girl blasts off quickly to the rescue. Iida is caught off guard by her speed as he follows behind her

"wait up!"

the two race to the selected door and come crashing in, ready to tackle any danger that might have gotten inside.

"stop you crimin- oh!?" The brunette's face takes on a shade of pink at the sight infront of her. Her brows, once stitched together were now raised to her forehead.

her eyes flicker a few times before she makes a loud flushed noise and covers her face.

it was you and izuku, he was now ontop of you. His legs were protecting your sides as he attempted to kiss you once again. Your arms are on his shoulders..TRYING to stop him but uraraka probably already had the wrong idea.

you turn your head at the flushed girl, you blush yourself.

"uraraka?!" You shout, now incredibly embarrassed. She didn't say anything but kept her hands on her face.

"and IIDA!! what are you two DOING??" suddenly four eyes makes his appearance.

your eyes widen which makes your arms fall, izu finally kisses you but.. it wasn't your lips he met.

"IIDA??? OH MY GO— EEK?!" Your body tenses up, izuku kissed your neck. Oh my god he kissed your neck and wasn't stopping.

your body temperature rose like a thermometer, you were officially a red tomato.

"IZUKU???"

[verstappenf1lecccc]

Hey p here!!! 👋🏻 Just as we talk, I want a fic about Toto Wolff x wife reader who always healthy/happy go lucky person and suddenly she's ill. You can't decide what it is. Include there drivers/anyone in the sports reaction. Like they're trying to help her, watching out for her. She's their friend/mother figure, of course they're worried. But being her, she just deals with humour even though she's sick. And can you include Jack? That boy has my heart. Even though this must be heartbreaking for him at such a young age, I think it's time for some angst, gut wrenching story that traumatize us all😃 And lastly how everyone cope with it. Add anything you want to. Thanks!!! :))) Appreciate it❤���❤️

With prompts:

1) "After all this time?” “Yes. I still do"

2) "My sweet and brave little munchkin."

3) "Tick tock, the clock is ticking"

4) "I thought we had more time"

Slipping through my fingers

there are moments in life that define everything, moments that still your world to a complete standstill people often assume that these moments are of joy or happiness. unfortunately for toto his moments caught a rotten streak and his world was never going to be the same ever again.

the day toto met her was a day full of surprises for both of them.

y/n had just recently made the decision to switch up her major from nursing towards mass media and journalism. it was a switch that raised a lot of eyebrows and concern from her family yet they supported her nonetheless, everyone knew how talented she was and knew she’d get a job eventually. What they didn’t know was along with the job she’d catch the attention of a rather tall man.

toto was having a rather eventful day, both of his star drivers had crashed into each other on lap one giving his arch nemesis horner his day in the sun with his prodigy max verstappen winning the race only to rub salt in his raw open wounds. he should have signed him instead of nico toto thought as he stomped through the media pen only to be bombared with around a hundred reporters eagerly waiting to see if the team principal was going to have another one of his infamous anger blowouts. alas to them a young female reporters questions had caught the interest of Toto.

Her question was clear cut no glazing no unnecessary flattery to grab his attention, all she’d ask him was if he’s going to fire someone on the pit wall for the strategies today. it was a bold question not one that reportes like to use since it ends up in court cases but she really didn’t care. It was her first few races and she wanted to make a name for herself and boy did she.

Toto’s response was curt and dismissive but she didn’t budge one bit, she was persistent and that caught Toto’s attention.

ladies and gentlemen this was the first moment in Toto’s life that had stopped the world for him.

the moment he looked into her eyes he felt everything was irrelevant. He didn’t care that both silver arrows were a pile of silver dust all that was captivating to him was the brown tinge in her hazel eyes. toto wanted to stare into them forever, and perhaps god was smiling straight down on them and decided to seal both their fates together.

and so it started.

their infamous courtship.

Now for a team principal speaking to people was almost second nature but when it came to her toto was a blubbering mess always leaving the conversation wanting to speak more, it was rather funny towards the other team principals. he was acting like a teenager with his first crush.

things weren’t all that easy for her too, each interaction with toto outside of business had her craving him more and more, she chuckled at his faint attempts to woo her and get her lunches. she too had a crush on him and it was only getting stronger.

the turning point in their relationship was the after party at the Abu Dhabi Grabd Prix, the long season was finally over and the celebrations had started. Toto had eagerly invited her and was hoping praying dying to see her come, unfortunately he wasn’t the only one who was waiting to see her, amongst his infatuation toto was as blind to how interested zak brown had also become towards her. he wasn’t often caught staring at her in places no man’s eyes had entitlement to. things were starting to get creepy but none of our two lovebirds had figured that out.

the party was in full swing when she had decided to show up, wrapping up her tasks with sky sports made her rather late but the look in Toto’s eyes when he had saw her was everything she had hoped and wanted. The man looked starstruck it was insane how whipped he was for her and they weren’t even together.

a couple of drinks and close dances later when she had excused herself to go to the ladies room was when calamity hit.

zak had his dirty gazes set on her ever since she had shown up, he knew toto wasn’t on guard whenever she was there and knew it was his time to try and get handsy with her.

right after walking out of the ladies room she was dragged into a corner and that’s when she felt small fat and stubby fingers trying to touch her. it felt humiliating disgusting and frankly made her want to bleach her skin. right before zak could cover her mouth and start with his actual plan she screamed as hard as she could hoping to get anyone’s attention oh how she regretted not taking up Toto’s offer to walk her to the restroom.

toto had wondered where she had ended up disappearing, was he being too much did she need a break from him?? he was overthinking when he heard her cries for help and in a second all the alcohol in his system had vanished. He leaped towards her cries and the scene startled him to his core, in a second zak was off her and his disgusting touch was replaced with the warm calm caressing of toto a man she was familiar with someone she knew.

the entire night was ruined in a split second, it wasn’t until toto had zak in a head lock that she’d regained her senses, seeing him so worked up over protecting her name and honour made her do what she did next.

the second toto was close by she kissed him, full on kissed him. it wasn’t short or messy it was full of reassurance of promise and of new beginnings.

that’s how the two souls collided.

oh and zak was given not one but multiple fractures and a hefty legal case to fight, toto didn’t play when it came to the ones who he loved.

the new couple relationship caused frenzy all over the internet and the paddock, no one really expected them to be a couple it didn’t make sense, out of everyone why did toto choose a journalist? Didn’t he know if they break up his whole life would be plastered onto the news.

Headlines like these made both of them chuckle, neither of them seeming to care, they were just happy to be with each other against all odds.

throughout the course of their relationship there were times where y/n had become sick, it often worried toto seeing how easily the common cold for her could become much serious, she always brushed his concerns away. it wasn’t until much later into their relationship when toto started noticing more and more health concerns for his now fiancé.

the proposal had taken place in Iceland she’d always loved it there especially the black sand beach and how beautifully it contrasted against the bright white snow, often times she’d dreamed of going there and toto made it a reality for them. she later joked that the beach and the snow represented each of them perfectly, Toto being the dark black beach that only softens in appearance in front of the snow. he’d got down on one knee at that exact spot uttering words of love and honesty. they had their vows at the exact same place. some things don’t change.

it was now 3 years into their marriage, toto had settled down and wasn’t all angry and violent like he used to be (ask the poor abused headsets) he was much calmer and level headed, that’s what happens when you marry the love of your life. he knew not to piss his wife off or worry her after all she was carrying his baby.

the pregnancy test was taken after she had thrown up half her body weight, toto wasn’t around he infact was in austria for the Grand Prix, she had excused herself from it with dumb excuses, Toto ever the gentleman knew not to push it and let her have some space.

In a matter of seconds their world’s axis shifted.

the pregnancy test came as a positive surprise, neither of them had discussed having children but they weren’t against the idea, when toto came back to his wife pale and heaving beside the toilet he knew what was going on, he whisked her off her feet and kissed her so strongly that you might think the man was off to war.

her pregnancy came with a price thou, a huge price for her to pay. y/n was anaemic her body didn’t have enough red blood cells and that’s why she could faint at the drop of a hat.

the couple had been shopping during the off season for the arrival of their little baby, unfortunately fans and paparazzi got a hold of their location resulting in a rather ugly swarm of cameras and people. the noise alone alerted Toto that their quiet evening had come to an end, in a rush to protect his wife and unborn child Toto’s steps where hastened and elongated, unfortunately his wife simply couldn’t keep up and fell victim to one of her fainting spells the camera and the noises alongside the amount of people did nothing to help her and so she collapsed.

the faint thud would haunt Toto forever, his whole world crumbled when he heard it, instantly he rushed towards her only to find her knocked out cold, the rush to the hospital has been the longest wait of his life.

he swore then and there that he wouldn’t ever put her or their child in such a situation.

luckily both mother and baby were okay, when they got home later that night she had fallen asleep unknown to the storm that was brewing within her husband.

Toto wasn’t a very emotionally available man, he preferred to deal with his emotions privately or not at all if possible but ever since meeting her he’s been more open towards showing love and care but the one thing he won’t show is fear.

Torger Christian Wolff was afraid.

he’d been having these vivid dreams of his wife dying and leaving him and their six year old son alone forever, it’s been haunting him ever since her fall.

[strangersteddierthings]

Platonic Stobin bodyswap AU idea I'll never write. This has been in my drafts for over a year (since July 2023 per the timestamp)

Post season 3; During the season 3 bathroom confession scene Robin came out to Steve, and Steve came out to her. She knows he's bi, and she's the only one who knows. Swap starts off slowly for Steve and Robin. Little moments of vertigo where the world doesn't look right for a few seconds, that progresses to black out periods of time spanning 5-15 minutes. It's them switching bodies but it's so traumatizing (they are FREAKING out) that they don't remember it. So, it's like they're just losing moments in time, which still freaks them out.

Then one day they wake up and they're... each other. And they just don't go back.

And Steve can't really pass as Robin to her parents but thankfully they just blame it on 'moody teenage angst' and "you can talk to us about anything babygirl we love you so much and we're here when you need us." Which. Yeah, Steve cries about. But it also comes with the side of GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I HAVE TO FINISH HIGH SCHOOL AGAIN??? I CAN'T PLAY THE TRUMPET ROBIN YOU HAVE TO DROP OUT OF BAND

And Robin also cannot pass as Steve at first, but she gets to see how that matters exactly 0% because the Harrington's don't even notice. They also aren't around near as much as Steve makes them out to be. But she does get to enjoy the freedom of a legal drivers license and no job currently. HOWEVER she has walked Steve's pretty face into several doors/poles/walls because cute girls keep looking at her with hunger in their eyes and she doesn't know how to handle this.

(It makes more girls interested in a suddenly shy, stumbling, nervous Steve because those girls think they're the reason Confident Sex God Steve turns into a mess but really it's just Robin not knowing how to exist in a world where woman want her and fish fear her (sorry bad joke))

Anyway, queue shenanigannary for a bit. Steve encourages Robin to go on dates because why not get some practice in while they wait to swap back again? (he's holding out hope)

Do they have the awkward discussion of 'what are the limits to what I'm allowed to do in your body????? I dunno yet.

Anyway, Robin goes on dates. ((Does she end up going on a date with Vickie? Canonically Vickie's got no problem dating older boys? How to solve this plot line for when(if?) they switch back bodies? IDK dudes, that's Future Jess's issue.))

At some point, the gang finds out. Probably Dustin realizing Steve isn't as Steve-like as usual. He'd sniff out something was wrong with his brother for sure.

But then season 4 starts. Robin taught Steve how to play the trumpet back in August/Sept and it's then they realize that they kind of share their knowledge? Like... Steve picks up how to play the trumpet EASY. At first they think it's just Robin's body using muscle memory but then Robin realizes she knows things only Steve should.

Anyway, Steve is in band with Vickie the night of the Championshipgame, chatting easily while also trying to hint that 'Hey, I think Steve Harrington is checking you out???" while trying to tell Robin with telepathy (that they don't have... yet? Decide if they end up with telepathy later) to try and subtly check out Vickie. But neither girl is subtle so they both just whip around to stare at each other and Steve is facepalming.

NO WAIT. DO I MAKE CHANGES TO THE NARRATIVE BECAUSE IF STEVE IS IN HIGH SCHOOL AGAIN, THERE IS NO WAY HE'D LET DUSTIN AND MIKE SKIP OUT ON THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. Maybe??? Will decide on this point later. Until then, above points stay.

Anyway, Chrissy still dies (sorry) and Eddie's still on the run, but like this time in the boathouse, Robin invites Eddie to stay at 'his' big empty house 'cause the parents are gone and Robin has no hangups about Eddie like Steve did in canon (he is the first person we hear call Eddie The Freak).

The end point here is that Robin, Steve, and Eddie spend A LOT of time together at Steve's house and then the angst falls in because Steve starts to fall in love with Eddie.

So, he has a breakdown in a bathroom with Robin about it, all sad and crying like "I really fuckin' like him Robs, but I can't- there- we can't-"

"I need you to take a breath and tell me what the issue is," Robin says.

"I like him Robs, but this is your body. I can't take things from you. Like your first kiss. And I certainly can't- I won't put your body through... you know. I can't do that to you."

And it takes Robin a moment to process what he means. Romantic entanglements that Steve might want to have would have to happen with her body. And maybe Robin isn't sure what to say/do because the thought of a guy and his dick anywhere near her body immediately freaks her out but... she's not in her body. She's in Steves, and has been doing things with girls in it. It never occurred to her that Steve might want to get hot and heavy with a guy in her body and maybe she's got something to unpack there???

Anyway, no time to worry about that. Vecna's gonna kill Max so they gotta go. Also, Eddie does NOT know about the body swap.

She does tell Steve to kiss Eddie, though, in the end. When they're not sure they'll live. So, Eddie calls out to Steve. "Make him pay." So, to Eddie, it looks like Steve gives him a nod and it's Robin who marches up, grabs his face, and plants one on him. Robin(Steve) doesn't stick around long enough for Eddie to kiss back (Steve wants him to because he wants a proper kiss from Eddie, but he also doesn't want him to because Eddie thinks he's kissing Robin and if he kisses back it means he likes Robin, not Steve, so Steve doesn't lock lips long enough find out).

Something something they all survive and then Eddie, hopped up on pain meds in the hospital, demands to speak to Robin. So, Steve slinks in, afraid of what's going to happen, and Eddie's like 'Robin. I appreciate that you like me but you are unfortunately a girl and I am not into that.' And Steve is like!!! my time!! It's come!!! I HAVE to get back to my body.

And then at some point they switch back. Maybe El doing some mind fuckery? Idk.

And for fun, here's the beginning of the fic that idea written out:

"Whoa," Steve blinks rapidly as the world tilts and shifts. It's very sudden, and over just as quickly as it started, but it still leaves Steve unanchored for a moment. It was probably brought on by the concussion he's been nursing these last two days, since the whole Starcourt shit. He leans sideways to try and use the wall as an anchor until everything feel right again.

He should, probably, be more concerned about this because this has been like, the fourth time this has happened and when he told Robin about it, she confessed it was happening to her, too. That Owens guy had told them there could be unknown side effects to whatever the fuck they'd been injected with and this might just be part of that. It'll fade, Steve's sure, as the days go on. Never mind that it has been happening more lately. It's going to fade. It has to.

Except, it doesn't. The sensation of be unanchored gets worse, and now it comes accompanied with loss of time. Steve will feel the tilt and shift while standing in the doorway to his room and the next thing he knows he's got a hand on his front door, keys in his hand, and doesn't know where he was trying to go.

Ring Ring

Steve shakes his head, shakes away the feeling of wrongness and goes to answer the phone. "Harrington residence, Steve speaking."

"Steve! Steve, it's getting worse!" Robin's voice sobs at him from the other end of the phone. "I-I was in the kitchen and then I was, like, huddled in the bathroom and I don't remember going there."

"Fuck, me too. I just came to standing at my front door, about to leave but I don't remember getting there, or where I was planning to go," Steve confesses back. It's strange, how easily Robin has become a part of his life. He was expecting her to not want to be withing five miles of him ever again, after what he got her dragged into, but it seems Robin isn't scared away. Perhaps it's just that he's the only other person she knows who went through Russian torture. Even if that is the case, Steve'll take it. He likes Robin a lot.

"Should we... call Dr. Owens?" Robin sounds so small when she asks.

"I don't want to," Steve confesses but doesn't elaborate. Calling Dr. Owens means admitting that something is wrong wrong. Steve doesn't want anything to be that wrong. He wants to get back to his life. He's got to get back to job searching, too, and Dr. Owens might deny him that.

[wasyago]

hello! Im just wondering if there’s any side effects Etho has because of staying in the cave in trails gone cold au or did it just change his hair.

good question! probably? this hasn't really been discussed or thought through, so don't treat it as 100% true, just me thinking out loud.

❄️ talking visual changes, his hair and eyes changed color permanently, his skin is now paler, even if the effects lessened when he was out of the cave, nothing is fully reversible. i dont imagine there's a way to get rid of the sculk that is in his body already, because it's like- everywhere. in his blood, in his lungs, in his brain, in his bones. it's dormant and doesn't do him any harm, and maybe in 10 or 20 years his body will slowly get rid of it, but its an if not a when.

❄️ in terms of other changes... i imagine he's constantly freezing now, nothing ever helping to warm him up. his nervous system is messed up beyond repair, so he could probably shove his hand into fire and get burned and still be freezing.

❄️ he probably also always feels slightly feverish and weak? you know how when you're ill and you stand up to do something but standing up takes all your energy and you're too tired now? that kind of thing. he's just tired all the time.

and then there's also all the indirect changes?

❄️ he lost an eye. goodbye depth perception, and layered with his other changes he's probably very clumsy now.

❄️ i imagine his hands tremble more often than not, both because of the freezing and because of his strained psyche.

❄️ dude is like. traumatized. very badly. he decided to leave one of his closest friends to die so he himself could escape. his other closest friend was a better person than him but died because of it. he never said goodbye to any of them, he can never apologize. they're gone forever, and they're still down there. etho survived but at what cost and was it actually worth it?

❄️ i don't know if he feels any sort of calling from the cave, but maybe? maybe it's the sort of thing where he can't tell if it's his own thoughts or not, because it could be a cave trying to get him back or it could be his own wish to return in attempt to "fix it".

i also wanna say, poor gem. she has to take care of this guy now and im so sorry to her. it's gonna be a very long time until he even starts healing, and it's gonna be a very difficult time. there's like, so much to say about gem too, because she also lost two of her best friends and she wasn't even there to witness it, all she gets is her traumatized brother...

[vikkirosko]

Hi! Sorry if I'm bothering you, but I saw that your requests are now open and you've always been one of my favourites writers, so I wanted to make a request.

I've been having a hard time lately, so I want to request some comfort. Especifically, Fizzarolli, Stolas, Husk, Lucifer and Angel Dust with a reader who always try to humor every situation and act like the quirky and funny friend, even if they have a messed up life. The kind of person to disappear for a few days, return like nothing happened even if they've faced the most traumatizing experience. They always priorize other's people comfort and prefer to be the 'funny friend', because for them it's really difficult to admit they're suffering. They find other's people's problems more important than their own, so when people asked them if they're doing okay or they're caught crying, they prefer to turn the tables and act like a psychologist for the person.

I'm sorry if you can't do this, anyways, I really liked your last posts, and I hope to see more of your work.

Hi, I hope these headcanons will help you feel better

Headcanons Much-needed support

🕷 Angel Dust x Reader 💖

Angel is not used to sharing his experiences. He hid them behind rudeness, humor, and vulgar phrases. It was a defense mechanism for him, and that's why the fact that you were trying to find out about his problems and help him bothered him at first. But the more he got to know you, the more he became attached and trusted you. At some point, he could be sitting with you in his hotel room and telling you about another disgusting day, how he hated himself and his job, how he hated everything. You continued to be there for him, supporting him, and if he needed you, you hugged him. When you found out what was happening to him, you never tried to hug him without asking in advance, fearing that your careless actions might cause him unpleasant memories. But at some point, Angel had a thought that stuck in his head. He realized that he didn't understand how you could continue to be so enthusiastic even though you were both literally in Hell

He was watching you, trying to see that you were also human, just like himself. He tried to see that you also had feelings and experiences, but the more he watched, the more clearly he saw that if you had any, you pushed them so far away that you completely ignored your own feelings. You helped the others, regardless of whether you needed to help fix something, clean it up, or if you needed to help with advice or just listen. You always put others before yourself, and when others asked you if you were okay, you just laughed it off, but never directly answered the question. And that bothered him. He was even more worried when you first disappeared for a few days. Charlie was worried too, but she'd known you longer than he had, and she said it had happened before and that it wasn't worth worrying about, even though her appearance contradicted her words. When you returned, you behaved as usual, and when he asked where you were, you joked again, as if everything was fine. But Angel was sure that this was not the case

He came to your room when he knew you were there. Angel was going to have a serious talk with you. It might have been unusual for him, but you were dear to him, and if there was anything he could do for you, he was going to do it. He entered your room without knocking and immediately froze when he heard crying. You were sitting on the floor in your room and crying, hugging yourself, but as soon as you saw him, your lips stretched into a smile and you hurried to wipe your tears. Your voice was shaking, but you asked him anyway what was wrong and if he was okay. Angel closed the door behind him and said that he was much more concerned about your condition right now. You laughed it off again, continuing to try to find out what brought him to your room, but he sat down next to you and pulled you into his arms, wrapping two pairs of his arms around you. He quietly told you that you had already done so much for him and that he would not let you go until you told him about what you had been holding in yourself for so long. Angel wasn't going to let you turn everything into a joke again, not when he first saw the funny smile disappear on your face

He kept hugging you while you were crying, while you were trying to start breathing again, while you were quietly, hoarsely, sometimes breaking into sobs, telling him how bad you were. Sometimes you tried to walk away from the conversation again, but it brought you back to talking about yourself and your worries. For the first time in all the time you've known him, you've revealed your feelings to him, you've shown him the part of yourself that you've been hiding from everyone. You put others above yourself so much that you have completely forgotten how to share your own experiences. But Angel stayed with you. You did a lot to make him feel better, and now it's his turn to help you, he was ready to stay by your side as long as you needed, and even more

🃏 Husk x Reader 🥃

Husk had what he called a bartender's instinct. He listened to other people's problems so often that he got used to it and could understand when someone had emotional problems, but that didn't mean he was in a hurry to help others. But you tried to help your friends, including Husk. At first, every time you asked if he was okay, the bartender brushed you off or rudely asked you to leave him alone, but over time he began to answer you more calmly and even tell you what was going on in his head. These moments were only when you were alone, for which you didn't even go to bed late at night. He didn't tell you about his deal with Alastor, realizing that it could bring you a lot of problems. You always listened to him attentively, without giving unsolicited advice, you helped him at the bar, but in all that time you never drank with the others, you didn't share your feelings with them or Husk. You just smiled and tried to support the others no matter what

He saw you disappear for a few days several times, and then come back as if nothing had happened. When asked by others, you just laughed it off and said that they had nothing to worry about. If he had noticed this earlier, he really wouldn't have thought about it, he would have just ignored you and your behavior, but not now, not when he saw perfectly well that you were using humor so that others wouldn't see how bad you were. You continued to help others, putting their comfort far above your own. Sometimes Husk thought that you could be one of those people who would sacrifice themselves for others if the need arose, but the longer he watched you, the more he realized that you could break down at any moment if you continued to keep everything to yourself

You've been missing for a few days again, and he's already starting to worry about it. He knew it wouldn't be so easy to find you if he tried, but you interrupted his thoughts by returning. You smiled at him as if you hadn't been missing in the last few days and acted as if nothing had happened. Husk didn't let you hide in his room and invited you to join him at the hotel bar. You sat down at the bar and, with a smile on your lips, asked him if he would like to talk about something. But Husk bluntly told you that this time it was his turn to be your psychologist. At first, you tried to laugh it off, again claiming that you were fine and that he didn't have to worry about you. But Husk wasn't going to listen to your attempts to get away from the conversation. He intended to find out about everything that was gnawing at you, and seeing how the smile slowly left your face, he made sure that you understood the seriousness of his intentions

He had to ask questions to get you to say something. It was obviously unusual for you to have to share your feelings with someone, but the more you told them, the more Husk realized how much you were holding in yourself. He didn't even think it could be that bad, but now he knew the truth and he wasn't going to stay away. You needed help, and if you weren't going to ask for help on your own, then he was going to be the one to help you

🦉 Stolas x Reader 🎩

Stolas was grateful to you for being by his side. There were a lot of problems in his life and he found his solace in you. You were ready to come to him at the first call, you listened to him no matter how much time he spent talking about how hard his day was. You were always understanding, sympathetic, and when needed, you joked and cheered him up. He was grateful to you for everything, and especially for the fact that you stayed by his side even when he lost everything. You started coming to visit him much more often than before, which is why Stolas sometimes tried to joke and said that you were his free psychologist, but you always told him that he didn't have to worry about it and that you were always ready to help and support him and you didn't need anything. in return. But now that he saw what you were like in everyday life, he understood that you never told him about your problems, although it would seem that this would be quite expected

You went to the apartment where he lived, Loona and Blitzø. You brought groceries as a small thank you for taking care of Stolas and you were always ready to listen to him. Even when you were talking to them, you continued to be cheerful and smiling, as if you didn't have your own problems. At his request, you also came to the office, keeping him company when no one else was there. Sometimes you could go days without answering your messages or calls, but this has happened before. However, Stolas had not thought about this before, being too immersed in his problems. Now that his problems seem to have increased, he has become more attentive to you. You always came back and said that everything was fine, laughed it off and turned all the attention to his emotional state. When he asked Moxxie, whom he helped with the paperwork, about this, he said that most likely you had some problems of your own, but you hid them and focused on the comfort of others and not on your own. These words were firmly embedded in his head and Stolas wanted to repay you for all those times when you were with him

Stolas asked Blitzø to find out where you lived and, having received the address, asked him to take you there. Imp understood that it was important to him and took him there, after which Stolas went to your apartment. It was quiet there and it seemed like you weren't at home, but he knocked on the door anyway. At first, he didn't hear anything and thought that you really weren't at home, but after a couple of seconds you opened the door to him. You looked a little disheveled and your eyes were red, as if you had been crying for a long time. Despite this, you smiled at him and said that you weren't expecting his visit, but if he came to you, then something must have happened. Stolas came inside, and only when you closed the door did he ask if you were okay. You tried to laugh it off again, but Stolas came up to you and took your hands in his. He looked at you worriedly and asked you to be honest with him, just as he has always been honest with you. He saw that you weren't okay, and he didn't want you to keep quiet about your pain

He got one sentence after another from you, and the more you started talking, the more the smile left your face, until pain was reflected on your face. When you started crying again, hiccupping and stuttering, he hugged you, whispering that you didn't need to hurry. He hugged you while you were crying, and even when imp looked into your apartment to make sure everything was okay, he kept hugging you. Stolas saw how serious your condition really was and sincerely wanted to help. You were his support and support for so long that he couldn't remember exactly how long, and he wanted to be like that for you, so that you wouldn't keep your sorrows and pain to yourself, confident that your feelings were less important than the feelings of those around you

🍎 Lucifer Morningstar x Reader 🐍

Lucifer always tried to look optimistic in front of others. He had a reputation and couldn't show weakness, sometimes even in front of his own family. But when you came into his life, he had a person to whom he could tell everything. You were his loyal listener, you could spend long hours in his company listening to him, realizing that he really needed to speak out. You understood that he had problems and he couldn't do anything about it, often preferring to ignore some of his problems. You, in turn, were always smiling and cheerful. You joked a lot, trying to cheer him up, you gave him advice and tried your best to help him. When he started living in his daughter's renovated hotel, his condition got better and you, who visited him, saw it, but Lucifer became more attentive towards you. He realized that during all the time of your communication, he did not see you upset, saddened, he never saw any signs of pain or resentment on your face. It was like you weren't experiencing these emotions, and it really bothered him

He wasn't sure if it was all his imagination, so he decided to talk to Charlie about it. She was surprised by her father's question, but promised to help him, and for the next few days they both watched you. By the end of the week, she confirmed that he wasn't imagining it and that you really were always cheerful and smiling. Lucifer was worried that you kept your worries to yourself because of his constant problems, but when Charlie tried to talk to you about it, you just laughed it off and said that you were absolutely fine, and also that if she wanted to talk about what was bothering her, you were always ready to listen her. Lucifer couldn't believe that he hadn't noticed something so obvious for so long. But now he wasn't going to stay away. Now all the things he hadn't paid attention to before seemed so obvious, and he just couldn't leave it as it was

Lucifer knew that sometimes you spent the night in the hotel room that you were assigned, and when Charlie told him late at night that you were there, he went to talk to you. When he came to your door, he heard sobbing and he didn't take the time to knock. You didn't lock the door to your room, and when he came in, he saw you in tears. You were just about to smile at him when Lucifer ran up to you and started asking worriedly what had happened, who had brought you to tears. You tried to calm him down and make a joke, but you were interrupted by a sob, which you tried to suppress. But he saw perfectly well what condition you were in. Lucifer hugged you and began stroking your hair soothingly. You tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let you, whispering that you were safe, that he was here for you, and that he was ready to listen to you and help you. You had an expression on your face like you'd never heard such words in your life, but it was like it was the last straw for you. You sobbed with renewed vigor, clinging to him and wrapping your arms around him. He's never seen you so defenseless, but he intended to keep his words and wasn't going to leave anytime soon

Lucifer insisted that you stay at the hotel. He saw that you needed support, and if you were there, he would be more worried about you than if you stayed in your apartment. There were people at the hotel who were willing to help you, and he was at the top of the list. Lucifer was ready to be the one who listens to you every time you needed it, just as you have done so many times, many more times than he could count. There were many difficult moments in your life that left traces on your soul, but even in Hell you continued to smile and joke as if nothing had happened, but now he was there and was ready to help you finally stop keeping all the pain to yourself

🎪 Fizzarolli x Reader 💟

Fizzarolli and you often spent time together. He liked your cheerful disposition and liked to see you smile, but you were not just a person close to him, but also someone who was always ready to listen to him. He shared with you what was bothering him, he told you about how he hated his job, he told you about how he dreamed of being free, he even told you about what happened in his past and why he lost his limbs. He trusted you and you always lived up to his trust. You never told his secrets, you always listened to him, tried to support him, and if he was just tired after a hard day, you were ready to cheer him up. He often asked you if you were okay, because in all the time you've known him, you've never complained about anything and he felt wrong about it, but you just laughed it off and claimed that everything was fine and that he didn't need to worry about you

He noticed that there were days when you didn't show up. It was like you'd disappear for a few days, and when he was already thinking the worst, you'd come back and act like nothing had happened. When he asked you where you'd been and if everything was okay, you joked around as always and turned the topic to what had happened in his life while you were gone. It was like you were trying your best to avoid talking about yourself, and it was becoming more and more obvious to him. That's why when you disappeared again for a few days, he went to check your apartment. He was hoping that you were at home and that you could finally have a normal conversation. When Fizz arrived, after several attempts to wait for you to open the door, he tried to open it himself. To his surprise and concern, the door was not locked, and upon entering your apartment, he heard sobs that obviously belonged to you

He hurried to the sound and found you crying. You didn't look hurt, which made him feel relieved, but when you saw Fizz, you hurried to smile and wipe away the tears, as if everything was fine. You told him you didn't hear the doorbell, but you're glad to see him. Fizzarolli asked worriedly what happened, to which, as always, you tried to laugh it off and change the subject, but he wouldn't let you do it. He put his hands on your shoulders and looked closely at your face. Fizz asked you to be honest at least now. He saw that you were feeling bad and he wanted to help you with it. He wanted to make you feel better. Your lower lip started to tremble and you started crying again. He hugged you, ignoring your mumblings that you were okay. You both knew it wasn't like that, but now at least he could finally find out the truth and try to help you

Fizzarolli spent the whole night in your apartment, listening to you and comforting you. You really needed it, and he understood that he should have continued to insist that you tell him about what was going on in your soul. If he hadn't talked about it anymore, he was sure that you would have become that smiling person again, who put the comfort of others above his own, and he couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let the progress he was able to make be ruined because you decided to return to your normal behavior. Fizz understood that it could destroy you, and he simply couldn't let it happen

[witless-winion1]

Reread your fic and it got me thinking:

God Games reprise/parody but it's the crew in the afterlife discussing whether to help Odysseus during 600 strike. Different arguments and stuff but same musical structure.

After getting Perimedes but to the tune of the Aphrodite name intro in God Games stuck in my head, I need to share this concept with someone. Uh, Polities is Athena and the one in Odysseus's defense. Eurylochus gets Ares' bit (the Ares, Ares intro chant is Euryl-ochus). Elpenor gets Apollo's part. Idk who the others are. Zeus's bit is Hades because they're trying to convince him to let them leave the Underworld temporarily to go kick his brother's ass (except he's not a sore loser).

oh my god

oh my god

OH MY GOD

OH MY-

HOLY SHIT THATS-

wiaitwoaiyeaitwaitwaitwait

H A N G ON

Thank you for rereading my fanfic!!! :)

I feel like Eurylochus would be better as Hephaestus because he has MANY MIXED FEELINGS that cancel out to become a real emotional neutrality, like Hephaestus’s stoic neutrality, and both are one push away from deciding in the other’s favor. Does that make sense? I’m incomprehensible when excited

There’s not enough named men in EPIC to fill every role, so we might have to get…creative…

Thank you, you’ve cursed my brain to loop ✨~Periiimeeddeeesss~✨ or elPEnor 🦜

Zeus- Hades

Athena- Polites

Apollo- Elpenor (argument: Ody didn’t care enough to notice when he died on Circe’s island) (counter argument is that he was stressed tf out and still high on moly, he wasn’t great at counting heads, also it was Elpenor’s fault for getting drunk, like how Athena basically says “the sirens were trying to kill him, you dolt”)

Hephaestus- Eurylochus (the argument is literally the same as Hephaestus’s, but he’s on the verge of tears) (Poli just kinda murmurs something about it being many people’s fault, including Eury’s, and then hugs him, and Eury just barely chokes out his agreement)

Aphrodite- Perimedes (argument: is sacrificed six men to Scylla! And he gestures to six traumatized souls in the corner— counter argument is that there was no other way unless they’d all rather get thrashed by Poseidon instead of only six being eaten by Scylla) (or maybe he just points out how stupid it was to fix himself to the Cyclopes, and Poli goes “..a guy can make mistakes, can’t he? He’s just a man…”

Ares- ……an older, gruffer solider that’s bitter with Ody for just giving into Zeus’s demand to choose instead of using his Buff Brain like he has been this whole time (with the counter-argument that it’s LITERALLY ZEUS, KING OF GODS)? Or Hades pulls up a Trojan guard/solider that got killed, but idk how Polites would convince him…

Hera- I’m thinking either a) Persephone (because Zeus used his wife and also Persephone wanted to be included and Hades wasn’t gonna tell her no), and she’s already kinda “I’m fine with letting him go but I wanna mess with this funny little pancake boy” or b) a killed siren that Hades fetches, but he accidentally grabs a younger one that had no idea what was really happening during the massacre and is really confused so she just goes “uh-um, who? Some guy who wants to get home? Sure go help him but first you gotta sing with me” (like Hera’s disco battle)

it’s be fun if we could add Tiresias, Anticlea, or Astyanax in, but that probably wouldn’t work because

Tiresias- I can see him being irritated by Ody screaming in his face like an angry owl; he would be a good option, but I can’t see him fitting anywhere here

Anticlea:- are you kidding? That’s just Hades rigging the game in Polites’ favor. She’d say “YES GO GET MY BOY BACK HOME. EVERYONE’S WWAAAAIIITTIIIINNNNGGG FOR HIM” before Polites could even open his mouth. The entire verse would literally just be harmonizing the Waiting motif.

Astyanax: it’s a baby.

I’m actually so tempted to write the song or a fanfic about this, bestie you’re a fucking genius I hope you understand that

if anybody has any ideas or points, please please share them!!! This is such a cool concept

[crystalrabbit246912]

NRC Group Therapy

So I just had a thought that I needed to flesh out and I figured, why not post it on Tumblr, so here you are.

What if the main 24 (all of the named characters, counting Yuu and Grim, excluding the teachers) had group therapy?

Now, I know that there'd obviously be fights between everyone, but can you imagine how funny it would be? Like you have Leona making aggressive comments toward Malleus and Sebek yelling back at him while Malleus is just sitting there happy that Yuu invited him to therapy, or Floyd chasing around Riddle, who's ready to blow a fuse while Jade enables his twin's behavior and Azul tries to stop it.

All while the poor therapist, who's probably very underpaid, is starting to realize that they're maybe a little out of their depth.

Yuu, who's very much Not Okay after all of the Overblots, ends up accidentally trauma dumping by saying something and thinking that it's completely normal, and also has to play peacemaker for everything because... because Crowley's in charge for some reason.

The Overblot gang, especially... (I started thinking of who had the saddest backstories and then realized that it all of them have messed up pasts) all of them, do end up spilling some stuff and traumatizing the therapist in the process.

Some of the guys, like Ruggie with Leona disintegrating him and the Tweels with Azul almost stealing their power, and maybe some passive-aggressive comments toward Idia and Ortho for their kidnappings.

The First-Year Gang, (Yuu in particular), are especially struggling, like Ace and Deuce covering their necks whenever they hear Riddle raise his voice, Jack watching Leona and Ruggie closely, Epel ducking his head and not fighting back against Rook and Vil even when he doesn't want to do something, I couldn't think of something for Ortho, and Sebek flinching at the sound of lightning.

I can imagine Ortho bringing up the fact that he has the memories of the human Ortho who died in the past and Idia built him and the therapist just blue screening for a moment.

Everyone: Casually bringing up near-death experiences and past trauma like it's something everyone goes through

Therapist: I hope you realize it isn't normal

*A brawl somehow breaks out in the background*

Yuu: Guys, guys, calm down! Both sides are valid. Epel, you're allowed to be upset that Vil almost killed you in the past, but be aware that he's actively working on changing. Vil, Epel's been traumatized by you, allow him to be mad at you.

Therapist: ...this is way above my paygrade.

[kibbles-bits]

Heaven's Best AU what do Velvette thought and relationship with Winner!Vox!? eventually warm up toward him since Val likely convince her give him a chance despise he is an angel!? 

Velvette doesn't trust him at all when she meets him! Especially because Valentino just shows up with him looking all small and pathetic and traumatized. She does not miss that Vox is covered in Sinner blood and Val isn't at all. So this guy is fully capable of slaughter and somehow Val has avoided it.

She trusts Val and knows he can read people really well, but she also knows he's an idiot who made it very clear to her he wants to fuck an angel. But then she is forced to consider that Vox isn't Val's type at all so now she has no idea where this is going. She can't question Val while Vox is there so she just helps clean him up and hope this isn't some weird trick with Vox trying to look weak and unassuming.

(She was right to worry. The minute she leaves them alone to burn Vox's bloodied clothes, Vox snaps and threatens Val to not tell anyone what happened.)

She comes back to them being civil to each other. Vox thanks her politely for manifesting new clothes for him and then is escorted back to the hotel to have another breakdown.

She doesn't see any reason why she'd ever see him again.

Except he keeps coming by for Valentino and to her horror they're like. Friends. And she can't see why. Valentino barely gives any details on how he and Vox met or why they still hang out so from her point of view, Valentino became friends with a loser goody-two-shoes angel who probably has a few screws loose and might snap one day and kill him.

And then when Valentino sleeps with him? She thinks. Welp. They're fucked. They're going to die. Valentino is going to mess this up and Vox is going to smite them. So she's just waiting for something bad to happen and getting ready to maybe try and kill Vox before he kills them.

Vox thinks she's jealous and thinks he's going to take Valentino away from her. So he takes it upon himself to have a little talk with her and assure her that him being there won't affect her and Val's relationship <3

She is appalled at how sincere he is and tells him to kill himself and Vox leaves to cry to Val about it.

Eventually they bond over hating Val for being obnoxious about being liked by two people.

She doesn't fully trust him but she does like him enough, especially when he praises the work she's done and fully recognizes her as more of the leader of the duo.

He sometimes likes to hover around her work when Val is busy and she's run into him on the streets a couple of times when he's trying to advertise the hotel. They haven't really hung out alone for like, fun. They're both open to trying it, but neither is willing to be the first to send the invite.

They bond much more after Vox's Fall.

Read the Heaven's Best AU HERE

[panickedscribbles]

I've been thinking about Star Wars discourse lately, and I think a lot of the reason so much of the fandom is constant back and forth arguments is because a lot of the time, two characters can be right simultaneously while also disagreeing completely with each other.

Take the whole "Too old, he is" thing.

On one hand, obviously wrong. Anakin is nine, he's at most a few years behind, and textually managed to catch up pretty well. Like, if Palpatine and the Sith Plan weren't constantly messing him up, there is every possibility that Anakin could have become a well adjusted Jedi. Nine is by no means too old to learn a skill.

On the other hand, the council demonstrates perfectly in that scene that they are completely unequipped to deal with a nine year old who hasn't been raised in their culture, especially one from a heavily traumatized background. The pop-quiz they ask him would be perfectly acceptable for a nine-year-old youngling, but Anakin literally just walked in. They are giving an end-of-year exam to a kid who has never even seen a school. And they assume this is fine, because that's just what you do with nine-year-olds.

More to the point, they are completely failing to take into account the previous nine years of his life. They ask a kid, who up until all of about 18 hours ago had been enslaved since birth, to be open and honest about his emotions, in a room full of complete strangers, most of whom answer to "Master"! They have somehow engineered a situation so psychologically damaging that Palpatine is taking notes in the corner, entirely without realizing. When the council says they shouldn't take him in, they are one hundred percent right. Nine is WAY too old when you've spent that time as a slave, and are being entrusted into the care of people who have never had to raise a nine year old who wasn't raised like they were.

Or how about Anakin not being made a master. Was he right to insist he get the title, or was the council.

Well, Anakin should be made a master, you see, because,

He's one of the main Generals fighting and coordinating the war

And he's one of their most successful warriors. Like, he's the guy they call in whenever they need an impossible mission completed

He's more or less the face of the war effort, as "The Hero Without Fear"

As an ex-slave, obtaining the title of Master would be a huge psychological weight lifted off his shoulders.

Since they're making him part of the council for espionage purposes, making him a master as well serves as better cover

Giving him more reason to stay loyal to the Jedi after they just asked him to betray the trust of one of his oldest and closest friends wouldn't be the worst idea

Like, if ever there was a reason to give someone a promotion, those are some pretty good ones.

However, on the opposite side of the issue, literally none of that has any bearing on "Mastery" as the Jedi define it. Being a Jedi Master is all about mastery over oneself, having a deep understanding of the force, and a certain level of inner peace.

You'll notice that at no point does being really good at large-scale violence, being well known for being really good at large-scale violence, or wanting it a lot factor into being made a Jedi Master. Everything Anakin is good at, Everything Palpatine, and the war, and the council have pushed Anakin into being good at, do nothing to bring him any closer to Mastery, and in fact often push him further away from it.

In both of these examples, you can make a very compelling argument in either direction. Hell, you can make a compelling argument in both directions at the same time. And I think that's really neat.

[delusionalbitchinthehouse]

Here I am with summoning headcanons for the first ghouls told through Chain (my beloved). I'm pretty happy about this one, actually !

"Why d'you wear it ?"

Chain blinks slowly, lazily turning their head to look at Phantom, sprawled on the worn rug next to them.

The new kid is cute, they decide, a bit of a lightweight, so they stopped smoking a while ago. His cheeks are flushed purple, big stary eyes glazed over, a sweet little smile never leaving his lips.

Chain almost forgets they were asked a question, until Phantom tugs a bit more insistantly on the heavy chain looped around their waist. They hum.

"'s a lucky charm, stickbug."

Phantom tilts his head with a confused noise, wiggling closer until he can rest his head on Chain's chest. The water ghoul runs fingers adorned with bone tattoos on the skin of the young quint's arm, raising goosebumps in their wake.

"Y'know I was the first water ghoul summoned after the mess Nihil's ghouls were, right ?"

Phantom nods, tail swaying lightly.

"Well," Chain hums, "back then, summonings were messy. And now, with how much damage Nihil's ghouls had done, the Clergy was afraid. Everytime they summoned a ghoul, they found new reasons to be afraid."

Phantom shifts, reaching up to follow the glowing stripes under Chain's jaw with the tip of his fingers.

"Like what ?"

Chain sighs, thinking back to their very first pack.

"Most of them were ancient, powerful ghouls. 'Mega was the first...I mean, you've seen him. He's big. Sure, Earth and Air are taller, but there's that thing 'bout 'Mega, y'know ? Some kind of...aura or shit. Maybe it's the quintessence, dunno. Anyway, he spooked them real good, and Alpha didn't make it better."

Phantom wrinkles his nose.

"Uh oh. Alpha's spookier than Omega."

Chain can't help snorting at that.

"He's got a shit temper and an ego the size of a planet. Fought Omega the second he slid of the altar. Got messy real quick - that's were he got the scars on his cheek and on his stomach, and 'Mega has matching ones on his thigh, burn marks on his ribs too."

With a little gasp, Phantom pushes himself up on his elbows.

"Really ? But they're....really close."

Phantom's surprise is understandable. Omega and Alpha are pratically joined at the hips now, evolving around each other with an ease speaking of intimacy. Chain hums.

"Well, yeah. Suprisingly, once Omega made Alpha eat shit, it didn't take long for them to get along. I guess they just had a rocky start."

"Understatement."

That sets Chain off, somehow, and it takes a long while before they can speak again without being interrupted by their own giggles.

"And after that, Air and Earth were summoned. You've seen them. Fucking trees, the both of them. Looming above everyone. Air traumatized the poor summoners by screeching so loudly he made some eardrums burst. And Earth, well. Spat out blood and guts everywhere - not his fault they summoned him right after a successful hunt."

Rolling on top of them, Phantom pushes his forehead against Chain's, pawing at their shoulders absent-mindedly.

"And you ?"

Closing their eyes, they can still picture it perfectly. The dim candle-lit room, the smell of incens and fear, the anxious whispers, the rough stone of the altar under their naked skin. And that familiar clinking sound.

"Well, I was the last of Primo's original ghouls to be summoned. And by that point, the Clergy was rightfully pissing their pants. So, the second I crawled out of the pit, they threatened to chain me if I showed any sign of agression. I guess they didn't expect for me to find their shiny chain really cool."

Phantom blinks at them in disblief.

"You...thought the chain looked cool."

Shrugging, Chain ruffles the quint's hair with a huff.

"Y'sound awfully judgmental. Yes, I thought it looked cool. Hopped off the altar, took it from them, sniffed it a few time and decided it was mine. Been wearing it ever since - and got my name out of it."

They stare at each other for a second before dissolving in another fit of giggles. It feels good, Chain decides, spending time with the newer ghouls, telling them stories of before they were summoned and watching their incredulous reaction.

"You," Phantom pants in between chuckles, "are the least serious ghoul I've ever met."

"Part of my charm."

Phantom laughs again, and Chain doesn't realize they're purring until the quint joins in.

[kalinara]

So I saw a post earlier talking about Marvel couples and how relatively few long term relationships there are. There was mention of Reed and Sue as being basically the most consistently together couple, crediting that to the nature of the Fantastic Four being about family.

I don't disagree with that.

But then there was a comment about Scott and Jean being "all over the place" and depending on editorial at the time. Sorry for the paraphrase, but I couldn't find the post again to be sure.

And honestly I couldn't disagree with that more.

The thing about Scott Summers and Jean Grey is that, with two exceptions, if they are both alive, and they both know the other one is alive, they are together FULL STOP.

The first exception to this is the original Lee/Kirby years. Because they hadn't gotten together yet. But anyone who has sat through the god knows how many issues it took for the two to actually get the fuck over it and fuck basically gets stockholmed into shipping these idiots.

Because when you go from seeing this nonsense in issue 10:

THIS nonsense in issue 24:

THIS nonsense in issue 3-fucking-4:

And you realize this is only a sampling and that pretty much every issue in between has more of this idiotic bullshit, you'll be screaming at them to "JUST FUCK ALREADY!!!" too.

NGL, it's what turned me into a shipper. Fucking Stockholm Syndrome.

The other time, of course, is X-Factor. Because Scott, in his incredible wisdom and self-perception, happened to marry a woman who looked exactly like Jean Grey, (and asked her if she was Jean Grey on the eve of the wedding).

Scott gets a lot of shit from fans for ditching his wife and son for Jean Grey (which is a vast oversimplification of a very complicated storyline, but fine, for once, let's go with it). So yeah.

A good chunk of X-Factor is basically just these two finding their way back to each other after dealing with a whole mess of other mind-bogglingly traumatizing events and trying to raise a baby while meeting alternate future kids and (in Jean's case) not really handling that well.

But anyway, after that? They're together.

Now, admittedly, the Grant Morrison era of X-Men is a bit complicated. We all know about Emma Frost. I still resent deeply the fact that a man is named cheater for getting taken advantage of by his therapist, but fine. Maybe they'd have broken up over Emma, maybe not. Maybe Jean would finally break down and fuck Logan, maybe not. Sadly she died instead. And then a future version of her decided to push Scott and Emma together for a while. Which was a fucking weird narrative choice, but fine.

When Jean comes back? Immediate romantic scene with her resurrected husband by the way. And yeah, fine, he drops dead again later. And then when HE comes back to life, she's off in another dimension and presumed dead for a bit.

But when they are back, alive, and in the same place? She immediately shoves her tongue down his throat.

On Krakoa, they're the most married they've ever been. They finally get to raise their son together, in a place that isn't a future hellhole. They are explicitly polyamorous, implicitly in a throuple, but when it comes down to the wire, it's Scott Summers and Jean Grey.

And now, in From the Ashes, she's off being a goddess in space. But she's still having psychic phone sex with her patiently waiting husband. It's not clear if they're still doing the polyamory thing, I'd like to think they are because we so rarely get to see portrayals of non-monogamous but still very happy couples. But who knows. What we do know is that even now, even when they're not in the same place: it's Scott Summers and Jean Grey.

I suppose the one exception is young Scott and young Jean when they're brought to the future. But here's the thing. As much as they both try to fight it, as often as they've tried to tease some other kind of ship with Hank or Laura or Jimmy Hudson, or teenaged Vampire Storm, or anyone else. The two still can't ever really escape each other's orbit. (And you know, maybe if they actually got the full story instead of fucked up fragments from incredibly biased people who currently hate at least one of them, they might have felt a little less like escaping. Who knows?)

I guess I can see the argument that the state of their relationship can vary. Sometimes they're very happy, sometimes they're raising a kid. Sometimes they're frayed. Sometimes they fight. Sometimes they fuck other people.

But in the end, as long as they're both alive, it's Scott Summers and Jean Grey.

Reed and Sue still get top billing as the big couple of 616, sure. They're not immune to silly love triangles, but they tend to be dead less often.

But I still think Scott and Jean are up there, as consistent and steady as anything in the Marvel Universe.

[unpanzito]

can you yap about your ideas for ur jeff rewrite :3

Alright, sorry for taking long to answer, I literally had nothing when you asked "x(. Now I kind of do. First of all, I'm not trying to make a super original and fantastic version of Jeff, I wanna keep it close to the "canon" and just give my little turn to it, my original part starts with Zalgo's deal, what happens before it's not very important to me.

Liu is like 5 years older than Jeff.

Jeff's accident happens when he's like 16.

Jeff already had schizoid personality traits before any accident or even suffering from bullying.

There's not a specific group of bullies, all of Jeff's classroom either talks about him at his back, excludes him or ignores him for being kind of a psycho, for his appearance, or Jeff himself provokes it 'cause thinks they're all stupid and boring, so he scares them on purpose. Randy is the one Jeff hates the most, mostly 'cause Jeff is not capable of scare him away.

Jeff's accident, and yes it was an accident, occurs in a school camp, a random kid brought their dad's flare gun 'cause they thought it was smart. At night many kids started gathering to see the gun, Randy came and grabbed it starting to aim at the sky, then he aimed at Jeff who was sitting alone in front of the campfire (it was slightly lit), deep in his thoughts, another kid came and tried to take the gun from Randy's hand, the gun shoots and hits the floor, bounces and hits Jeff in the face, exploding.

When Jeff's finally released from the hospital, Randy and his mom go to his house with a cake as a gift, Randy didn't want to be there at ALL 'cause he felt so guilty. He's sent to the backyard to search for Jeff, he can't find him at first, Jeff appears from his back and hits him with a wrench, he hits him until Liu comes running and throws Jeff off Randy, both mothers come after him. Randy is hospitalized with a very serious head concussion.

Jeff's actions were associated to his head traumatism and his brain being swollen (by the shot).

One night Jeff can't sleep and needs to take some medicines for which needs his mother's help. She was kinda pissed and done with him after Randy's and how overall aggressive he was getting, so his mother dismisses him and sends him to sleep. Jeff got really pissed off and abruptly decides to end it there, he goes to the bathroom and tries to swallow a bunch of pills, he fails 'cause he almost can't move his facial muscles and can barely open his mouth, so the pills fall to the floor. Jeff, already out of his mind, searches for a knife and comes back to the bathroom, starts to tear off the bandages closer to his mouth and after that, cuts two slits at the sides of his mouth. (These slits weren't as prominent as what my design has now).

Jeff can't feel his face, neither then nor now, but now he can move his facial muscles normally.

After Jeff slits his face, and checks that it kinda looks like a smile, laughs a bit, hears his mother walk through the hallway "Jeff, I told you to go to sleep". Then she opens the bathroom and sees Jeff. "Go to sleep, ma." says Jeff in a mocking tone (yes, laugh). There's no fight, the mother can't even scream, she faints. Idk what happens then but Jeff somehow kills her, I don't need to detail that.

After a while, Liu gets home, he's all messed up, drunk, high, everything. He sees Jeff sitting in the stairs in the dark. He tries to talk to him and ask if everything's alright, and when he goes to turn on the light right in the stairs, Jeff hits him with a mirror, that shatters in his face, he hits him like 3 more times and Liu ends up passing out 'cause of the hits, the fall and all the substance in his body. He wakes up minutes later in the same spot with a slit in his throat and cuts all over his face. You imagine all the stuff later.

I've already shared this part, where it all goes south, Jeff runs to a hiking trail or something and just lies down waiting to bleed out or die 'cause of the cold, and then a talking dog appears (Smile dog, which doesn't really talk, it's Zalgo) and offers him the deal of keep on living until "finishing what he started" (he has to kill Liu) or dying there and suffer forever.

For other part, Liu ends up being the one in jail because of the murder of his mother and the disappearance of his brother.

And that's what I have for now, at least what comes to "Jeff rewritten". I'm open to constructive criticism x), tho as I said, I don't want this to be neither the best story ever nor in any way believable, there's a demon-dog possessed by an interdimensional chaos being, idc if it's unrealistic :P.

[lumineary-arts]

Can you explain more about the Thuzi relationship in your murder drone swap au please? I am in LOVE with your AU and while i am a Nuzi shipper for life, i am interested how Thad and Uzi relationship is like with them being in V and N’s role respectively.

This is gonna be a DOOOOZY so sit back and enjoy the essay!

Back in the mansion, Thad and Uzi 100% had mutual crushes on each other. Uzi was the tomboyish maid who didn't always love doing her duties and she ESPECIALLY didn't like being bossed around, but there were a few things making it worth it. For one, there was her bond with Nori, there was the fact she needed to look after Doll, and then there was Thad.

In the mansion he was always super friendly and chill. Very outgoing despite their situation. Even though Lizzy gave her shit a lot of the time just for being.. her, Thad was extremely kind to Uzi. He'd lightly flirt with her a lot, they bonded over her interests, and it was obvious to both of them that they had a good thing going.

When their memories got wiped and they got turned into Disassembly Drones, his personality seemed to do a 180. All of a sudden, though he was still outgoing and flirty, he was also violent, smug and acted, for a lack of a better term, like a douche. She still liked him though, she felt like she could kinda see beyond that. I mean.. sure they spent less time together, given how he spends a lot more time ripping the entrails out of whatever poor worker drone he set his eyes on... but he was still Thad. They had a.. thing going on... she thinks. She can't remember. But, she still liked him.

But when she met N, this sweet and nerdy worker drone who actually got along with her really well and seemed to always have his heart in the right place, she really started to tolerate Thad's "bully" behavior towards him a lot less. N wasn't really throwing punches back in Thad's way so that made it hard to watch. She was usually the mediator between them and being way more hot-headed than N was, she often got into arguments with Thad every time it happened. By Episode 3, she realized she wasn't crushing on him like she was before.

Even with that though, she still cared about him so much. When he sacrifices himself in Episode 6 she's beside herself. Overall, Thad's still extremely important to her and she does love him, just not in the same way she did before. They're very very close to this day.

On Thad's end of things, his personality change after their transformation was more of a facade than anything. He took on a violent, macho persona because it made him feel safer and more in control of himself, even though he still had the traumatizing memories of the mansion. He remembered Uzi and their mutual crushes, his feelings for her hadn't went away. But for whatever reason, he found it was easier to push those emotions away because they just reminded him of the mansion and what Doll did. And THAT, he couldn't handle.

He prioritized killing worker drones because in some ways, it was fun and he was at the top of the food chain. If he did that, he'd survive, so would Uzi and Lizzy, and he could get a sadistic kick out of ripping his prey apart. Something that he used to cope. This was his life now, he might as well enjoy it.

But then there came N, convincing Uzi to make peace with the worker drones and somehow Thad ended up.. "allying" with them in a way. N was scrawny and an easy target and so obviously had a thing for Uzi, it was lowkey annoying. Thad played along with their truce, but he still took the opportunities to mess with and pick on N since he felt a weird bit of antagonistic hostility toward the little guy.

I think Thad could sense Uzi's feelings for him fade over time, with every moment he stayed uncooperative and antagonistic, and it lowkey saddened him. But he couldn't really change how he was acting. It was his way of coping and if it meant losing Uzi overtime, then.. so be it.

But luckily for him, she never seemed to wanna drop him completely. She still cared about him and he still cared about her. His romantic feelings for her faded over time, especially after she and N started dating for real. Besides, he's alive, they're still friends, he has another friend in J.. he can finally kinda start living a normal life.

So they're good. He and Uzi are alive, and they're good. <3

chat its 2am does any of this make sense to you