#they're both short kings but that's about it

[txttletale]

hey what DO you watch on youtube? seems like you'd have some neat recommendations :3

i really loathe the like super-highly edited sound effect post-mrbeast slop most of youtube is now so i mostly like stuff that's like... calm and sedate. stuff i've been watching lately in no particular order:

northernlion vods and clips. he's an OG. i especially like his react court series, i must have watched all of them like five times.

speaking of OGs i've been watching zero puncutation (now fully ramblomatic) for like ten years and if anything it's only gotten better. best game review content on the internet. been really enjoying his more recent, slightly longer and more thoughtful 'extra punctuation/semi-ramblomatic' series too.

any austin's skyrim unemployment rate videos. instant classics to me, it's just a guy going around in skyrim trying to figure out the unemployment rate in every town. it's a very dry kind of humour, he plays it admirably straight, and it's weirdly calming.

kitten arcader's foot the bill videos. in a kind of similar vein, he watches the saw movies and then produces an itemized bill for everything jigsaw needed to buy to make his traps. it's kind of like... if cinemasins was fundamentally curious instead of fundamentally incurious, it scratches a similar sort of nitpicky detail-oriented quantifying itch but without inimical to the concept of art.

shuffle up and play. it's a magic the gathering play series that has enough editing that the gamestate is actually legible but not enough editing (or at least, not enough obtrusive in-your-face editing) that its annoying. i also like that they reguilarly play non-edh formats like cube and pauper.

spice8rack. i'm pretty picky about video essays but spice8rack has very obviously actually read books and has interesting things to say about the topics it discusses (mostly magic: the gathering). sometimes it has a kind of grating Theater Kid Energy but the fact that it actually meaningfully structures essays and analysis to earn the silly long runtimes is a rare delight from a video essayist.

jenny nicholson is a long-time favourite and another permanent fixture in my rotation. she's just extremely, remarkably funny which makes her the only 'basically just summarizing a thing' youtuber i think is worth the time of day.

i watch some sketch comedy, mainly wizards with guns and aunty donna, who both consistently put out really funny stuff that's kind of ITYSL-adjacent in its barefaced absurdism and contenmpt for concepts like "stopping a joke at the logical punchline". i also really like alasdair beckett-king and binging the old clickhole backlog for short-form comedy on youtube.

wolfeyvgc is right on the edge of the level of editing i find tolerable but as a long-time fan of multiple esports he Has It, he's absolutelyt fantastic at t elling the narrative of a tournament, explaining plays clearly, and generally making competitive pokemon esports thrilling and interesting ti someone (me) who#s never played it and doesn't care about pkoemon that much

i religously watch every elliespectacular/dathings YTP, the absolute best in the game right now, top tier snetence mixing and really good at actually setting up and paying off jokes in a way it feels like a lot of ytp doesn't. verytallbart is also pretty good.

trapperdapper is a channel i recently binged, it's a really fucking funny parody of minecraft challenge content that veers slowly from obvious angles of parody into pure absurdism with tons of blink-and-you'll miss it subtle visual gags.

too much future is a great youtube series where the two guys from just king things/homestuck made this world play through every fallout game and analyze them in that context. extremely funny and also just top-tier very sharp analysis. really good

another one of the rare good video essayists is jan misali. they're really funny and will go into topics that kind of seem narrow or strange to begin with in such depth and make them so interesting that it's consistently astonishing.

oh and finally sarah z makes pretty good videos. 'the narcissist scare' is an absolutely brilliant deconstruction of one of the most annoying pop-psych phenomena of the last couple years. and remarkably well script supervised i think did anyone else watch it and think 'wow the script supervisor on this must have been, a mind geniuse'

ok i think that's all i've been watching lately. hope you like whcihever of these recs you check out :)

[sulumuns-dootah]

WHB characters meeting their Obey Me! counterparts pt.2

⟡ Masterlist ⟡

A/N: Asmodeus is finally back in Hell and I'm finally able to make the second part to THIS post! I also included some more characters so it's not just the two leftover kings ^^

The scenario is still the same with OM!Solomon's spell going wrong and interconnecting the universes together

      ༺☆༻

Asmodeus

Okay, OM!Asmodeus has two reactions:

"Ooh? Such a brave outfit! And those thorns are so pretty!"

but then after a few seconds after he catches a whiff of the smell, he's about ready to die

If he manages to overcome this difficulty, they'd get along pretty well

WHB!Asmodeus doesn't really react... He does recognise OM!Asmodeus as another version of him and that's about it

Oh, but once they get to talking, you can rest assured that WHB!Asmodeus is pulling out the baby pics like the proud father of his little halfling army that he is

OM!Asmodeus' followers can also expect getting their timeline spammed with photos of these two because he just wants to commemorate this meeting as much as he can

      ༺☆༻

Belphegor

Depending on the time of day, both Belphies wouldn't even notice bc they're snoozin' the day away

But let's say they both happen to be awake at the same time

The first thing OM!Belphegor notices is the amount of piercings on WHB!Belphegor

Those must've been a pain to sleep with while they're healing

Also, once he finds out that WHB!Belphegor doesn't have to do anything and has people do everything for him, he's kinda jealous

WHB!Belphegor is kinda surprised to find out that another him is twins with Beelzebub

They're almost exact opposites, or not?

If their talk steers to the whole OM!Belphegor locked up in an attic thing, WHB!Belphegor will be kinda mad on his behalf, but secretly wish he was there so nobody'll bother him

A cute concept though: OM!Lucifer finally finds these two after dealing with the rest of brothers and sees them sleeping curled up together

OM!Belphegor curled up to WHB!Belphegor who's holding him like the bigger spoon

      ༺☆༻

Raphael

At a first glance, you'd think these couldn't be any further from each other, but don't let the look of OM!Raphael fool you

WHB!Raphael was quick to see through OM!Raphael's facade of cool and calm demeanor

OM!Raphael's critical eye immediately notices all the bandages on WHB!Raphael, but he chooses not to comment on it for now

...Somehow, he did not notice the blood splatters on WHB!Raphael's clothes, though?

Out of all the rooms with our guys seeing their counterparts, this is the one I'd like to be the least in

WHB!Raphael is a bit cuckoo and doesn't mind challenging his other self

And OM!Lucifer can't stop this from happening so, honestly, R.I.P.

There are no winners or losers

They fight until the whole thing is resolved and after that, the room is filled with OM!Raphael's spears and dead angels WHB!Raphael spawned in

      ༺☆༻

Michael

WHB!Michael at first thought he's just in a room with some other angel he didn't recognise

Until OM!Michael didn't speak up, that is

"I see, so this is me..."

"Wait, what tf do you mean me being you? You dare to think you're my equal?!"

WHB!Michael's short fuse is something that does surprise OM!Michael, but who doesn't have their quirks, right?

If OM!Michael manages to avoid triggering WHB!Michael, they could get along for the time being

Still, WHB!Michael doesn't want to believe there could be other version of him, so he suspects every action and word OM!Michael says

Afterwards, OM!Michael might even write a poem about their meeting

      ༺☆༻

Ppyong & Little D.

New besties for life alert!

These two little blob-demons instantly click and start sharing stories of their respective version of Hell

Don't tell Minhyeok, but Ppyong even forgets about him for a second

I'm not sure if Little D.s eat actual food, but I imagine that if Ppyong mentions how good sweets are, Little D. would tell other D.s about it and OM!Barbatos would get a heart-attack thinking rats got into his kitchen

But nope

Just a few curious mini demons, who heard that chocolate and other food is actually delicious

Oh, and if Ppyong is able to transform into Juno, I'm sure he'd do it just to flex on Little D.

Yes, Little D. gets jealous and once he's back, he's begging anyone and everyone to be able to do the same thing

Overall, these two are super adorable, and Ppyong is kinda like the older, cooler brother of Little D.

      ༺☆༻

Solomon

Two idiots trying to come up with a fix to the whole situation

(That was my initial note for how these two seeing each other would go and I'm keeping it :D)

Picture this: The room and everything is on fire, OM!Solomon's running around, trying to take the flames out and finish the spell that will undo his mesed up spell

WHB!Solomon is just louging on a sofa, unbothered by the whole commotion

Occasionally flirting with OM!Solomon

"Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?"

"There's fire everywhere."

"I've noticed"

"Are you gonna help me do something about this?"

"No~"

OM!Solomon knows OM!Lucifer will now hold this little mistake over his head for the next few centuries

There goes his chance to get a contract with him :/

      ༺☆༻

I also had an idea about writing the other demons meeting someone they have stuff in common with(Simeon&Gabriel, Cerberus&Naberius, Diavolo&All kings,...) but decided to not add it to this post, though if anyone wants that too, lmk ^^

[eddievedders]

So Eddie (Vedder) took his girls to Taylor Swift’s concert in Seattle last night and apparently some people on the internet think he’s... Pedro Pascal?

this is hilarious

[dani-luminae]

"Disney's princess needs to have more diverse personalities!" Yes true, sure, but also

Disney's first three Princesses (Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora) are all graceful, sweet, like singing songs about dreams and wishes, and do not actively fight: "omg they're such anti-feminist caricatures!!!"

Disney's next princesses have more established emotions and personalities, alongside the establishment of the "I Want" song as applied to motives outside of love (exploration, adventure, making their family proud): "OMG Ariel traded her voice for a man, how stupid!" "Belle's so stuck-up!" "Jasmine's just a spoiled brat!"

Tiana's a dedicated hard worker, loves her family a lot, and wants her loved ones to be very happy even at her own expense and gets... totally ignored in this conversation, gee I wonder why

Rapunzel, Anna, and now Asha are a little bit awkward, silly, but exuberant and get written off as "stupid adorkable" despite the other tenets of their personalities setting them apart, like Rapunzel's creativity, Anna's dedication to her family, and how Asha strives to help those around her

Moana gets called a disobedient brat for seeing beyond her father's narrow-mindedness

Disney Princesses have many wonderfully different personalities. It's just that people are dedicated to misinterpreting them, and that's why I never take the "Disney Princesses need more diverse personalities!" comment at face value.

[spectral-snippets-and-drabbles]

Schrodinger's Human: The Star Child

Halfa's aren't natural by any stretch of the imagination and they certainly were never supposed to come into existence. Yes, you could come come back as a zombie or a revenant, maybe even return as good as new or the complete opposite, but never truly return so... cleanly split.

Despite being the balance of both the living and the dead, Danny Phantom was never truly supposed to come to pass and was a happy accident, a one in an extremely rare umpteenth chance, rather than Danny Fenton dying in the unfortunate lab accident like in all the other timelines and multiverse.

Despite the truly miraculous odds of his survival, the young Halfling realized something was wrong somehow, when he awoke in the hospital. At first he thought it was because of the lab accident causing the scarring on his body and face that made people look away, but that wasn't it. It has been months and yet nobody looks his way.

Not once since the accident has his parents, sister, or his friends (or anyone, really) have looked him in the eyes. He just suspected that they must've felt guilty for getting him hurt...but then even his rouges seem to have always averted their gaze when they fight, so what gives!? Was the damage that severe? He likes to think he healed up pretty nicely with just a few prominent scars.

As Phantom, they weren't even visible! Then one day, he snapped after a particularly rough fight and demanded an answer, pinning the ghost and demanding, screaming, that they look him in his watery eyes.

"We can't! We physically can't look at you without adverting our gaze. Even the humans you call friends and family are unable to so much as look at you. We don't know why!"

It made Danny stop and think. Did...did he get a meta gene awoken from the lab accident? For his sanity, he deduces that it was some form of attention repellant power, that had to be it...right? After confronting his friends and family, they told them the same thing. At least the explanation was there. It made the pain bearable when he was around them.

Then the fight with Pariah Dark happened and everything went down hill from there (he just didn't know it yet).

It made Danny glad that the Ghost King couldn't see him properly (he stuck to the side with the eye patch) and continued his assault on the blind spots with gusto. It took a while but he eventually felled Dark and took the title of King of the Infinite Realms, much to his shock.

With the Ring of Rage and Crown in his possession, he returned to Amity Park exhausted, muttering to himself a desire before he let sleep take over.

"̸̙͐M̷̫̕a̶̯͗ỳ̸̲b̶̙͆e̵̳͋ ̸̹͆n̴̗̏ó̴͙w̸̖͂ ̵̢̀a̶̳͛ş̷̈́ ̴̡̒Ķ̵̊î̷̝n̸̻͌ĝ̷͕,̴̤̈́ ̵͓͗I̴͇͌ ̵̙͑c̸̣̀á̴̮n̷͕͝ ̴̫͐ơ̸̱r̷̮̆d̵̜͗e̷̲̊r̶̞͐ ̸̘̉g̵̖̈́h̵̝͊o̶̦̓s̷͎͂ț̷̂s̶̢̐ ̶̰̚t̵̠̐ỏ̵̺ ̷̘͋g̸̩̕o̷͉͝ ̵̣͋b̶̮͋ā̵̩c̸̨͆ǩ̵͍ ̴͙͘t̴͈͛ǫ̶͊ ̷͇̓ṱ̸̚h̴̞̀e̸̱͋ ̸͖͋R̸̲̀ë̸̪́ả̷̺l̸̙͝m̷̡͘s̶̢͒.̴̮̓.̵̤́.̸͖̈́ȁ̵̡t̸̖͂ ̵̺͐l̵̙͐e̴̢͘a̴͙͆s̶̼̔t̶̢̔ ̷̭̑ú̸͇n̸̗͗ť̷͖ǐ̷͜l̸͇̄ ̸̛̬I̶̺̾ ̶͔͂c̷̫̿a̸̟͊n̶̺̓ ̴̻͝f̶̦̒i̴̥͗ň̶̡i̸̡̊s̷̗̄h̶͖͐ ̵̝̒a̵̧̓ĺ̷̮l̷͍͐ ̶̤͠m̵̲̆y̷͎̐ ̸͙͌s̷̘͛c̵̯͋ḣ̵̖o̴͔͂o̶̫͝l̶͕͛ī̴̼n̴̝͋g̵͝ͅ ̷̨̿f̵̤͆ì̸͈r̸̥̆s̸̠̎ť̶̞,̶̧̑ ̸͈̅i̵̠͌n̴̻̉c̵̩̈́l̷̳͌ǘ̷̲d̵̟͂ĩ̸̳n̴͓͌g̴̪̈́ ̸̲̈c̸̗̿o̶̪͆l̴̤͋l̵̹͋ë̶͍́ä̸̼́g̷̼̑ủ̶̝e̷̩̿.̶͕̂.̸͈̾.̵͖͂I̴̞̽ ̵̣͘w̴̙͝i̵̯̚s̸̼̈h̸̦̉ ̸̟̓t̶̡͒h̵̨͊á̷̖t̵̛͕ ̷̨̿ĩ̴̡t̵̳̐.̷̫̄.̷͙̔.̶͎̃w̶̲͊a̶̳͝s̶̨̋ ̷̫̓t̴̜́h̵̢͌a̵̗͌ṯ̷̾.̵̠̕.̶̤́.̷͓̍ḛ̷̈́a̵̙͘s̷̭̔y̴͈͂.̵͉͂"̴̼̍

(Maybe now as King, I can order ghosts to go back to the Realms...at least until I can finish all my schooling first, including colleague...Yeah right...I wish that it...was that...easy.)

And like a true wish upon a star, it overidded all logic in the universe to the Boy King's whimsy. The ghosts left over night and all natural portals sealed themselves shut with no means to open themselves back up anytime soon.

And across the planet it vanished as well, stray pools of fermented ectoplasm, medicines that used it and even machinery powered by the stuff went missing, with the exception of the Fenton Ghost Zone Portal, that sealed it self with no means for anything to enter or exit.

The young Boy King's actions were far from subtle.

Many are now without their precious magic, Gods have llst their powers, the Speed Force had been stripped away, and Lanterns across all the emotional spectrum found themselves on their homeworlds with rings that failed to respond, their lights snuffed out. Two birds are now sound asleep, unable to open their eyes.

But before Nabu had been pulled out of his Helmet, he told his wearer one cruical message.

"The Source has been sealed away by a being powerful enough to possess all Sapient life in Multiverse, The Anti Life Equation has been unleashed."

[lunarlegend]

you know another reason Gladnis is so comforting is that both Ignis & Gladio could kill someone effortlessly, and they don't

they both have the ability to use violence in any given situation, and neither of them do

they are literal bodyguards to royalty, trained to protect and react, and they still put their humanity first

Ignis could basically be an assassin if he wanted to lol, he is both unbelievably agile and also smart enough to always be several steps ahead of his opponent, giving him the advantage in almost any situation

Gladio is not only fucking huge and intimidating by default, he's physically strong enough to break a pillar from the ground and swing it around like a weapon. he would barely need to lift a finger to harm someone, but he doesn't

they both are so capable of violence and neither of them relies on that for anything, they choose to be good and kind

they both were robbed of their childhoods and assigned to their roles and they could just as easily carry that around and take it out on others, and they don't

nothing about either of their lives is fair, or has ever been fair, but that doesn't affect how they view the world or how they treat other people

i love them both so much, i'm going to cry

[six-of-cringe]

I love all six of crows fanart and everyone should make it forever, but I will note that every time I see art where Nina is shorter than Wylan I feel like I've been lightly poked in the eye

[bloogers-boogers]

Kyle Brofloski/ Eric Cartman (SP FIC) part 3

/A player with lies/

Fatass can actually move? Kyle gets overly pissy for no good reason and Stan needs a damn break

Slight warning ⚠️ the characters name says it all, if you're not comfortable with the ship then this isn't for you, but if you are then hop on in and enjoy the ride ☆

~~~~

It was a beautiful morning, three boys waited patiently for the bus to arrive, it was a Friday, meaning it's time to finally take a break from school after a hell of a week.

Stan was on his phone as he scrolled effortlessly through his social media, liking randomly posts with out putting to much thought on it.

Kyle yawned tirelessly as he was still caught on doing extra work for school the last few days because of his lack of attendance from last month, so yeah, sucks for Kyle.

And dear Kenny found himself watching some porn shamelessly with out earphones on, as he grinned watching big boobs appear on screen.

The absence of their fourth friend wasn't too noticeable, as Cartman had the tendency to do shit in the morning after breakfast making him come either too late or too early depending on the scheme he's doing.

A blonde beaming boy walked their way, placing himself infront of them, a little too cheerful for their liking.

"Morning to you, Butters," Stan commented, more like a question than a greeting.

"Mornin' hasn't Eric arrived?," he asked glancing at his spot.

Neither bother answering as it was obvious he hasn't.

"Geez, he must be really excited today," He commented as he took out his phone and typed in some music, Kyle arched a brow confused.

"Let me guess, he's 'excited' to lay in bed, doing absolutely nothing, eating junk food for two days straight." Kyle sarcastically said, making the other two boys laugh.

Butters tilted his head, bewildered as he eyed him. Making Kyle feel insecure about being stare down like if he didn't know what he was talking about. He knew the fatass, no one should make him feel like he didn't.

It's Cartman, what else could Cartman be possibly excited for during the beginning of the weekend? If it isn't to lay down in bed and do nothing, mostly school related. Even though he doesn't do much of that either during the week, but still, he had an excuse.

"He.. hasn't told you guys? Oh hamburgers," he looked around, "I think I said too much then," he tried dashing off but Kenny stopped him by placing his hand on his chest pushing him backwards.

"What're you talking about, Butters?," Stan asked, now placing his phone in his pocket.

The blonde scratched his neck nervously before spitting out the truth, "you guys may not know this, but there gonna be a roller derby in town tonight, I thought Eric had already told you guys but-"

"What're you talking about, Butters?," Kyle snapped, gripping on to his shoulders shaking him frantically, "what could possibly Cartman do and hide from us?," He blurted out almost daring.

"Yeah, dude, Cartman's an awful liar, normally he'd come running to us if he was excited about something just to tell us all about it," Stan defended Kyle's argument, even though he found his reaction a little overeating.

"That's what I thought!," Butters exclaimed, letting loose from Kyle's grip, "I figured Eric would've told you by now cause he's been in it since sixth grade. "

"Since sixth grade!?," Kyle blurted out in disbelief, "that's bullshit, Butters. Are you fucking with us? Cartman can't take something seriously for that long!."

"Kyle's right," Kenny chimed in, confused and a little skeptical, "Besides, if Eric's been so serious about something that he's soo into, he would've told me by now."

"And 'in' what!?," Kyle remarked.

"Well if you guys actually let me finish speaking I could explain to you guys what's going on!," Butters snapped now tired, making them all go silent.

"Like I was saying, I'm surprised Eric hasn't told you. Because I do believe he takes it seriously, I've been with him during his games before and he looks.. well, seriously about it?," he explained trying to pick the right words to use, looking at the boys who watched him with odd looks, "guys, Eric's been in the South Park roller derby team for three years, and you guys haven't even realized it? I believe even Clyde knows it! Today's a really important game for him, and he's been waiting for it for the past three months."

Kyle felt his world shattered.

Theres no fucking way.

This is bullshit, he's calling bluff right there.

"Fuck you, Butters," He spat bitter, poking him in the chest aggressively, causing the boy to startle, "FUCKYOU, if you're still willing to pull up this type of shit with Cartman! Trying to mess with us this early in the fucking morning!," Butters slapped his finger away from him, glaring.

"Look Kyle, if you don't believe me then that's all on you, jewboy," he barked back mimicking Cartman's nickname on him, making Kyle snarled.

"Okay guys, calm down," Stan placed himself in the middle of the two boys.

If there someone who's capable on getting to Kyle's level was an angry Butters.

"Butters, you don't have like any proof you could show Kyle or something?," Stan inquired, still skeptical himself.

Butters huffed, as he scroll through his phone shoving it harshly to Kyle's face, earning a groaned from the boy.

"If that isn't enough, why don't you scroll through the south park derby page, ask the coach himself or wait? Ask fucking ERIC!," he screeched out, face heated in temper.

"Dude, chill your hawaiian is showing," Kenny tried calming him down, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't like being called a lying snake," He huffed once more, shoving Kenny's hand away.

Kyle scrolled frustrated through the photos Butters had showed them, they were all separated in a folder called 'Eric' pretty much all the folder had were photos and videos where Eric was included in, or taken with. Or stupid selfies the fatass will take in Butters phone.

What he was frustrated about was that seemingly enough, Eric and Butters were in some type of rally, fat boy grinning wide as Butters thumbs up while being taken the picture.

Date: October 28th, two years ago

On another, it was just Eric seemingly stretching his leg out in some booth, having roller skates on, a white helmet and some gym looking clothing as he glared to what it seemed like nothing but in the background they were plenty of people meaning he must've been glaring at someone.

Date: November 15th, one year ago

Then there was another where Cartman stood full picture, revealing his entire outfit; like a uniform with the number 9 plastered in the front, some red shorts too small for his ass and roller skates on, some black ankle and elbow patches, a green helmet in hand with a white stripe as he posed like he was about to run, grinning confidently.

Date: December 1st, one year ago

And another one, he felt himself being hit by an avalanche of rocks each second he look through each photograph.

Cartman looking forward, some other players beside him showing off their backs, it seemed the photo was taken from a far not as far, but far enough to tell he was about to race and Butters was probably just watching from the crowd.

Cartman's t-shirt said 'South Park derby' plastered big in the back part, words adorned around the large 9 with a goofy cow logo.

Date: January 4th, actual year

He shoved the phone back to Butters, as he glared to the ground defeated. The plan was too elaborate for it to be fake, and there were more photos in there than just those he analyzed.

He clenched his fist tight, and gritted his teeth, holding his head high as he saw Butters leave.

"Wow, I guess Cartman is in the roller derby team," Stan finally spoke out after brief seconds of silence.

"Yeah, I suppose so," Kenny then added.

The silence was now unbearable, Kyle kept contemplating what he just learned. Glancing at the bracelet he held around his wrist 'tsk.'

Stan and Kenny awkwardly shared a concerned look to their friend.

"Maybe Cartman was just too embarrassed to admit it to us?," Stan suggested, trying to relieve the tension that was now formed.

"Probably thought we'd ripped on him, which we definitely would had," Kenny agreed, both boys eyeing the redhead who just stood there unresponsive with a nonchalant expression.

"'Embarrassed' but not embarrassed enough to tell Butters?," he finally snapped, turning his fuming glare at them, "Don't you guys feel betrayed?."

"No," Stan admitted nonchalantly," it's really not a big deal dude, it's not like we all don't play a sport ourselves?," he kept on blabbering, "I play football, you play basketball and Kenny plays with pussy."

"Yeah," Kenny nodded.

"You guys don't get it, we've been friends with Cartman for YEARS, dealt with his shit for years and still, he can't even tell us about being on the derby team? It's not like we haven't seen him do more embarrassing shit! Why all of the sudden is he running off discreetly to play some stupid sport!?," by this point he was all spiteful and riled up, "that bastard doesn't treat us like friends! He treats us like- like some lab rats he likes to test with.

I'm tired of his fucking shit!."

Both boys stood listening not daring to say a word, just letting him spit all his anger out, they've learned by now that it's always best to let Kyle vent out all his frustrating opinions before they spoke out their own.

They knew well enough that he wasn't in all finished.

After like a minute they glanced at each other more surprised that he hadn't added anything else than discovering about their fat friend's secret.

"Well, what you want us to do Kyle? It's not like we can do much." Stan commented.

"Y'know what?," Kyle said with a thoughtful face as he tapped his feet contemplating some type of plan, "maybe we should teach Cartman a lesson about 'friendship' and where it leads people when you overtake advantage of it."

Both boys stared at the red head worrisome not knowing the type of shit they had gotten in to.

"Like what?," Stan follow along, still uncertain about it.

"We're gonna go to that rally and make him fucking lose that so precious game he's been craving for so long."

Bewildered the boys looked at Kyle, speechless.

'My god'

"Kyle, I don't think that's a good idea," Stan tried to reason with him.

"Dude, Cartman does this type of shit with us all the time! This is no different," he blurted out, placing his hands on his hips, "Besides, we have reasons!."

"We do?," Kenny added confused.

"Yes. We do," He said sternly, "he makes us deal with his crap all the time, and we just let him step on us everytime he wants? Cartman little derby game is our payback from all the shit he's made us go through as children! Technically, we're not doing anything wrong," he tried justifying his actions as he walked in circles.

"Dude, you sound like Cartman," Stan blurted out baffled.

"¡IDONOTSOUNDLIKECARTMAN,GODDAMMIT!," he screeched out loud causing them to wince.

Kyle has never felt more betrayed than what he's feeling right now, he doesn't know why this has got him so badly. But it became personal.

He really thought he was already figuring out Cartman and the douche bag, again, makes him reconsider everything!

It's like he's doing it on purpose, he sighed scribbling in his notebook, thinking of a plan to sabotage Cartman's game tonight.

Garrison kept blabbering about his upcoming wedding for like the 100th time of that week, they all already wished he got married and get that shit over with.

He looked to his side, glancing at Cartman who was making paper planes alongside Kenny, throwing it to their sides all dramatic and random flying across the room, among the students. Innocently batting their eyes as Garrison scold them.

Well, it didn't seemed Kenny was too affected by being lied by his BEST FRIEND, was he really the only one who cared to complained? He looked at Stan that was flipping through his textbook not caring for the world.

Cartman seemingly looked in a good mood which just added to his wrath.

He huffed as he rested his chin on his hand.

°°°°

"Dude, are you sure about this?," Stan asked as he zipped his jacket covering the vegetal oil they had planned on sneaking in, "what if Cartman actually gets injured?."

"Do you really care if he does?," Kyle asked skeptical, glancing at a couple of people who walked in the stadium.

"Good point," he added as he grabbed his phone and dialed Kenny, "Dude, did you bring it?."

"I'm on my way dudes, I couldn't find the cheapest brand I could afford but I found some cheap brand on wish," he said frantically as he was running while talking on the phone.

"Whatever dude, just don't die on us," Stan meaningless said before hanging up, "I can't believe we're actually doing this."

"This is for the best, Stan. Think about all the things Cartman has done to us, think about the time he's ripped on you, call you names, taunting you because you have a girlfriend and show you not even an ounce of respect," the redhead kept reassuring to his friend.

Stan frowned as he contemplated his words, now nodding assertively, "yeah, you're right. Fuck that fatass! He's never treated me with respect no matter how many times I followed through his stupid shit and called him a friend," He blurted out, a he held his fist high on to his chest, more confident.

"Atta, Stan," Kyle beamed patting his friend in the back, now turning to look at a panting Kenny.

"I-Im herE.." he continued panting as he took out some marbles out of his jacket to show them.

"Okay, cover those, we don't want to get caught," Kyle shove the marbles back inside his jacket.

They went inside, buying a ticket and glancing at the huge crowd. They didn't know roller derby was that a huge deal for people, the place was packed.

They spotted Butters in one the seats there, headed twoards the boy as they sat next to him.

Butters turned their way, "Oh, geez, you guys actually made it? Does that mean Eric already told you about the derby?," he asked casually, as he sipped from his soda.

Kyle smiled forcefully as he nodded, "yup," he lied.

"Cool," Butters beamed as he waved at some random player there, knowingly who that was.

"So when does the game start?," Kenny asked from the forth seat at the end of Stan.

"You mean the jam?," Butters corrected unfazed, chugging on some chicken nuggets, "the first pass still hasn't initiated. They're still waiting for the seats to be full, and it normally just starts at eight it's still six thirty."

They look at each other not knowing well about how that sport worked, they didn't looked deep in to it.

"Okay, so when does second round start?," Stan added, earning a scoffed from the blonde.

"Didn't Eric bother to explain you guys?," He rolled his eyes, sipping loudly on to his soda purposefully making the other three boys annoyed.

"In derby they're not precisely called 'rounds', they're jams that consistent on a timer of 2 minutes, that, or the lead jammer decides to cut it short," He continued to explained to them, as he beamed waving another player in the rank, "we could say the end of the first period will be thirty minutes in during jams, cause they're two periods. A game last sixty minutes you guys."

They blinked in confusion.

"And.. what exactly are jams again?," Stan winced out apologetically, as Butters groaned annoyed and roll his eyes in response.

"What's hard to understand?," Butters exclaimed in disbelief, "first pass; choosing the lead jammer, no points counted. Second pass; the pointer starts and the first jam is started."

"Dude, what's a jammer?," Stan asked still confused.

"And how the hell do we count a point?," Kenny added.

Butters frowned, "you guys didn't talk to Eric did you," he guessed out making the three boys look at him with blank stares.

"Look, Butters, where here. That's all that matters," Kyle chimed in, as he extended his arm around his shoulder making him arched a brow.

"My god. What're you guys planning to do." He immediately pointed out, realizing their motivates.

One of the perks of being around Cartman for so long is to recognize a liar, manipulative, two face bitch a mile away trying to take advantage of his naive behavior. This knowledge is something Butters holds dear on to, as it's gotten him out of many messed up schemes from his peers before, even from Eric himself. Giving him a boost of confidence while contradicting someone is he didn't agree on what they're doing, saying or opinion. He felt a little more freeing knowing he can atleast not take shit from his friends when he didn't feel like doing so unlike with his parents.

"Well good luck with that," Butters hummed out as he heard their improvised plan, "if you guys want to actually sabotage Eric's skates you're gonna need to do it now before the jam starts. Their break is thirty seconds long before a next jam starts and their longest break is a minute long on mid period, so you should guess, Eric has no plans on taking his skates off," he said nonchalant, now gesturing a snack seller to come towards him, purchasing a bag of gummy bears.

He held in front of Kyle, "these are gonna be for Eric cause he's gonna win no matter what," he said in a confident manner, intending to provoke the red head.

Kyle frowned, "just you wait!," He screamed as he stormed off to the benches, Stan following behind.

'Fucking asshole, who does he think he is?'

He kept on walking ignoring his best friend's complaints, as he halted abruptly, the whole damn reason he was here was because of Cartman, and he didn't even bother to even check if he was there at all. But now, holy damn. Now he couldn't just ignore him. He stood far apart near the circuit track chatting with all his teammates next to the penalty box.

'Wow' his eyes widen, bewildered. He's seen Cartman's in his derby uniform in Butters pictures, but the real deal was entirely different.

It felt like his surroundings just stopped moving as Cartman was the only person there that moved in a very slow dramatic way. Everything becoming blank an fuzzy as the only color there that blossom was Cartman.

And no matter how far Cartman was from him, he felt like he was the closest thing there that his eyes couldn't unfocused on.

'Kyle?'

'Kyle, dude!'

"Huh?," he asked now seemingly confused, turning to look at Stan.

"The oil?," He reminded him.

"Right," He blurted out continuing to move, side eyeing Cartman; as he turned his back flipping off some players from the opposite team.

'Oh god'

He stopped again dumbfounded, contemplating how well those shorts complemented his hips and-

'Kyle!'

"Ah?," He asked startled by the abrupt tone, "right!," He reminded himself, as he shook his head running twoards the benches were the players kept their belongings.

They searched through the bags looking for Cartman's, but they couldn't find it.

"Kyle, look!," Stan pointed out, were the coach sat in a empty bench with a bag seemingly not his.

'That's Cartman's,' he felt it.

"I'll distract him, and you sabotage his skates," Stan ordered, shoving him the oil as he approached the coach.

He nodded, as he slowly pulled the bag away as Stan had forced the coach to help by leading him to the bathroom as he had faked puked.

He opened the bag and looked through Cartman's things, he gripped on to the skates beaming relieved that he hadn't put them on yet. He took the oil from his pocket and opened the lid accidentally dropping it inside the bag. He reached out for it and gripped on to a folded piece of paper.

He examined it closely and seemingly enough, it was definitely a very old careless torn off polaroid folded by the middle. He flipped it open, and found four boys popped up posing silly as one flipped off the camera, another beaming mischievous, the other peace signing smiling, and lastly another making a goofy face.

Those four boys were them.

He felt himself contemplating between the bottle of oil or the polaroid photo, feeling himself softened, unsure of what to do.

He gulped, "C'mon, dude, Cartman's coming," Stan said worrisome, as he grasped his arm dragging him away to their seats.

"So? Did you manage to oil them in time?," Stan asked expectantly, sitting down.

He nodded reluctantly knowing damn well he didn't.

The jam was about to start, as the players got in position. For what Butters had told them, Cartman was the pivot, so he placed himself in the pivot line alongside the opposite team's pivot which is infront of the blockers and lastly behind them, the jammers.

A pivot being the one that normally leads the blockers signaling the strategies that will be put to use, also being the only teammate there that could turn into a jammer during a jam.

Apparently the first pass is where they choose for the the lead jammer.

Then second pass is when the score begins to count.

Or something like that for what he understood.

Kyle bit his nails nervously, watching Cartman smirking mockingly the other pivot. The red shorts and white shirt with the added helmet suit him so well it even looked grossly cute.

He rubbed his face with his hands, he wasn't thinking straight, literally.

He rubbed his legs as he heard a whistle blow initiating the first pass.

He digged his nails on his legs, seeing Cartman skate on the rank was extremely..

"Don't worry, dude, we'll get him next time," Stan reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder in a comfort gesture. Probably thinking he looked upset that the 'plan' failed.

'Oh God,' he plead merciful, looking Cartman rolling around the track as he 'booty block' a blocker.

He unintentionally bounced his leg frantically, as he keep watching Cartman making sure the jammer pass through with ease.

"We still have the marbles," Kenny reminded, as he was kinda entertained by the game, stealing Cartman's gummy bears from Butters.

But he was already too far off to listen, seeing how a blocker shoulder bumped Cartman's side as he hip trusted his side in response moving him sideways letting his jammer pass through.

Two whistles were heard as the referee gesture south park's jammer as the lead jammer, the crowd cheered as most there were obviously from the town.

Cartman stretched his back, clapping hands with the jammer in a smugly manner.

He quickly stretched down his hands to his toes as he quickly went back to position.

Kyle mentally saving that small moment savoring every second, his leg bounce some more, unknowingly receiving a concerned stare from Stan.

He felt himself heated, as his legs moved frantically, faster, zoning out by the fuzzy and blurry feeling he felt, breathing heavily as he watched Cartman now on his second pass.

He panted, as he tried grasping for air, Stan turned his way giving him a weird look alongside Butters who heard him squeeze.

'Oh god' he thought as he abruptly stood up, dashing to the bathroom, he excused himself as he pushed some people out of the way.

'Hormones, hormones, hormones, stupid hormones!' He screeched angrily smaking his head consistently, earing weird stares from the people around.

He entered the bathroom turning on the sink and splashing water on his face, cooling himself down. Not daring to look down.

He looked at his flustered face, in horror realization, 'there was no fucking way' he eyed his dilated pupils as he gently caressed the side of his eye.

'No. Way.'

Stan dashed after him, entering the bathroom and kneeling beside him as he found his friend curled up in a ball at the floor corner.

"Kyle, what's wrong?," he asked worried.

Kyle hold on to him as he bawled his eyes out, sobbing uncontrollably by the overwhelming emotions.

Stan was left bewildered as Kyle vomit on him still holding him by the arm.

"Dude, chill the fuck out. Tell me what's going on," Stan said sternly holding on to his shoulders making him look at him in the eye.

Kyle swallowed loudly, denying with his head as he stood up tirelessly, "let's just go.."

Stan reluctantly stood up not furthering questioning his friend as he followed behind him brushing off the vomit out off his jacket.

Stan halted looking at his best friend continued walking off, he went to Cartman's bag as he got out a piece of paper writing down 'we need to talk, meet up at yours after your derby race, fatboy -s,' now no longer caring being caught in the rally or snooping in his stuff.

°°°°

Cartman quickly rolled down town, not caring about ruining his derby skates as he was afraid of possible blackmail by the hippie of all people!

He couldn't even celebrate his victory with the guys by getting pizza, cause he had jolted off like a mad man not being able to enjoy his awsome evening.

He gripped tightly his bag as he got to his side of the sidewalk eyeing Stan sitting in his doorstep.

"What the hell do you want," he pointedly accused, almost slipping down by a small peddle.

Stan stood up looking at the floor with both his hands in his pockets.

"I think Kyle's really affected about you not telling us about being in the South Park derby team," he bluntly admitted, causing Cartman to tilt his head confused.

"Huh?," he said.

"Look, fatass, just.. I think you should talk to him." He frowned, glaring at the floor before glaring at him, "Dude, I'm serious, if you try saying some stupid shit to him I promise you I'll tell everyone about the Jody incident," he threatened.

Cartman flinched, "who told you," he shuddered out.

Stan rolled his eyes, "you weren't really being discreet Cartman it was a public park dude, anyone could've seen you ." He shaked his head dismissively, "look, I don't care if you're gay and shit, I just need you to tell Kyle you didn't mean to hide the derby thing from us."

Cartman spat offended, "he kissed me, dude! Not the way around, I was startled okay!?."

"Yeah, whatever dude. Just talk with Kyle," Stan shrugged off indifferent before walking off.

Cartman grumbled, he couldn't believe Stan had saw the incident with Jody. He really wasn't expecting it! That dude just sent him a letter in his locker and he figured it'd be some chick confessing her overbearing love for him not the ginger kid he manipulated back in forth grade.

He sighed as he tossed his bag at the door before taking off his skates angrily and bitter, tossing them to the ground as he walked barefoot to Kyle's front door.

He knocked unwillingly, as he placed his arms behind his back hearing steps head down stairs.

"¿Yeah-" Kyle's mouth flattened, gripping on to the door frame, "what you want, fatass?."

"You're hippie boyfriend complained to me you were upset over the rally thing, I didn't know you'd figured it out," he shamelessly rat on Stan.

Kyle frowned, "I don't care," he spat out dryly.

Cartman stared at him for brief seconds; he wore a white t-shirt and some black square patterns bottom pj's. His gaze fell on the now naked wrist, Cartman figure Kyle would eventually take the bracelet he gave him but now looking at his wrist, it made him feel a little disappointed.

Kyle awkwardly hid his hand when he noticed.

Standing awkwardly for seconds that felt like minutes.

Things between them have just been so awkward nowadays, and Cartman hated to admit why.

"Okay, cool.." he blurted out looking at the ground then turning around and walking back home.

"Wait," Kyle spat out, now holding on to his arm stopping him.

Cartman cursed inside him for feeling his heart skip a beat.

"What do you want?," he shoved his hand off.

"I think we should just.. talk about it," he admittedly struggled out, wincing his eyes, "someone has to put an end to it."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Cartman glared defensively, acting like he didn't know.

"Cut the shit, Cartman. You know, I know," he stated firmly, gripping on to Cartman's shoulders making him look at him, "we should just get it out of our chest and move on."

"I don't know what you're talking? I've moved on, Kahal, but it doesn't seem like you have," Cartman continued lying between teeth, "you're making it weird, our dynamic it's just..flopping? And it's your fault! You broke our rule, kyel," he continued pin blaming Kyle.

Kyle glared at him, "Cartman, were not gonna leave from this spot until we finally discuss it. It's driving me crazy."

"Watch me," he dared trying to leave, but was gripped hard on to his arm earning a '¡owe, Kyel that's hurts!,' "okay, fuck! We'll talk just let me go you asshole!," He whined out in a cry, scowling him as he now let him go, rubbing frantically the injured area.

Things weren't going to turn back to normal. They knew that, it was hard to grasp it. And they've tried so hard to shove it off.

He and Cartman hated change, that was something they both openly agreed on.

Their dynamic has always been like that; they've have some bizarre moment between each other and they shoved it off behind the back of their brains trying to not acknowledge it, trying to not take it seriously. Just getting back to their usual banter ignoring whatever happened between them that shook them off from their usual dynamic. Like a intruder invading a home that was built by scratch and decorated with time and being carefully planned; moving all their stuff and placing them elsewhere, stealing them, breaking them pretty much destroying the property they built for years.

They feared for it to happen again, making new barriers and creating knew strategies to prevent the intruder to make his way back in. Putting up locks and blocking the windows.

Not acknowledging how'd it'd affect them physically and mentally.

Making their little spacious home fell more like a trap, tight, suffocating, imprisoned. Being scared to get out but also craving to get out and breath some air, some freedom.

Screeching for help, as they longer couldn't stand those walls, trying to grasp on the little space they had while it slowly killed them.

They figure it wouldn't be any different now, but they were wrong. They just couldn't, they had went to far pretty much breaking a entire wall out, being in for so long inside the opening freely feeling just being too overwhelming for them to welcomed, handle.

No longer having the energy to just block it, as they were just tired, and the damage was too much to build around it with out destroying it more in the process.

Which they have been doing unintentionally, being so.. out of character, feeling more vulnerable around each other, one being uncontrollably unable to handle his anger and paranoia and the other uncontrollably unable to control his stress and obsessions. The bars were just unbalanced and their personalities were going elsewhere, being mix up with so many feelings they can't just grasp in to it all, having to forcefully grab one an drain it dry inevitable taking all their energy out as they couldn't keep up with the ongoing changing feeling. It felt wrong not being able to control their emotions, it was frustrating not being able to grip on to one, knowing your place and how to act.

It felt so unnatural, and somewhat obsessive being so dependent on each other even when it came to their feelings, characterization and personalities.

Kyle sighed defeated, sitting in the sidewalk, Cartman hesitated before sitting besides him.

Cartman rested his chin in his hand, Kyle half lidded eyes darted to the empty street.

It was time to open up to change.

"So.." Kyle trail off, trying to lighten up the tension between them.

"Kyle, it's clear you don't want to talk about it," Cartman said with a bored face.

"No- I mean I do! It's just.. I don't know were to start," he admitted, looking at the beaming light from the poll from the other sidewalk.

"You mean being some psycho gaywads or about the change of our dynamic?," he guessed, now relaxing his body, shivering lightly as he was already feeling the cold sweep in.

Kyle pouted thoughtful, "honesty? Both," he said, taking out from his sock the bracelet Cartman gave him.

"Seriously? Fucking gross dude," Cartman winced dramatically sticking out his tongue in disgust.

Kyle chuckled unfazed by the comment, "I- I was really angry today cause you didn't tell me about being a south park derby, and somewhat thought I'd be vengeful by throwing my bracelet away, but I just couldn't. I want to have it on me, so I justified myself putting it under my feet for I to continuously stepping on it yet still have it, you get me?."

"Wow, how evil of you," Cartman remarked sarcastic before rolling his eyes feeling a smile crept out his face, "does that mean you've still had it on before today..?" He eyed him expectantly.

"Yeah, dude, I like it. The colors just match well," Kyle nodded admittedly, gently caressing the fabric.

Cartman felt his cheeks heated, flustered embarrassed and slightly flattered, "thanks.." he sighed heavily, "I- I was kinda disappointed you didn't have it on just now," He laughed nervously before playing it off, as he grabbed the bracelet from Kyle's hand and tied it up back on to his wrist.

Kyle let himself smile back by the gesture, letting those feelings invade his now tight fluttered chest.

This felt nice.

"Well now that were being honest here, I was mesmerized by your ass at the derby rally this evening," He shamelessly admitted.

"Woah there, kahal, a little bit too much don't yah think?," he added, a little baffled by Kyle's boldness.

Kyle chuckled, he really enjoyed Cartman's red flustered face. He enjoyed being able to do that.

He leaned forward, "I really liked that kiss," he admitted in a whisper, slyly smirking as he saw Cartman face burning hard red flames, he could swear he even heard a small 'yelp' coming out from his mouth.

Guess the fatass can't find his way to snap back at him, which is a accomplishment on it's own cause Cartman wasn't the one that'll keep his mouth shut always wanting to have the last word into everything even if he had to blabber nonsense to get that.

He squiggle his mouth, moving his eyes fanatically left and right, left, right, left and right again. Kyle cautiously counted each movement, waiting expectantly.

"Me too, jew.." he blurted out after brief swallowing seconds.

"Cool," Kyle nodded, as if he had already knew that.

"About the derby thing, I honestly didn't bothered mentioning it to you guys cause I know the type of assholes you are, not much about.. well it wasn't a you thing," he admitted as he glance the other sidewalk.

Kyle nodded understanding, anger long gone by that point.

"So now what?," Cartman reluctantly asked after another brief seconds of silence.

Kyle shrugged.

They sat for over an hour before being called out by Gerald, who'd ask Kyle to get inside as it was already getting too late. Still not exactly finishing everything they wanted to say but it was enough to bare for the night, Cartman waved goodbye as he left to his home and Kyle stood in his doorstep looking out for Cartman until he saw him get inside his house before reluctantly getting inside himself, contemplating how things unfolded between the two and how good Cartman's gigantic ass looked when he walked off.

Prev — Next

[inkskinned]

which is fine, because love is love, and you're getting gay-married, so it would be kind of ironic if love was only sometimes love.

except The King Of Demons (his is Edmund) is always late, to everything, always. which is fair, because time doesn't work in hell, and it's not like he can just catch a bus. except that you specifically asked him not to do this, didn't you, because he's always doing things like this.

He splays out his hands, the light catching on long, ivory claw tips. god, doesn't he know not to wear white to a wedding?

so many people are screaming right now.

it's not that he's the golden child. you guys had normal parents, middle-class. your mom was kind of an "almond mom," according to your fiancée, who pursed their lips when they found out about how your mom used to wrinkle her nose any time you asked for an extra snack in your lunchbox.

you close your eyes for a moment. think of your beautiful almost-spouse. ashe. their name like a bloom inside you. how the dress looks on ashe's body, their shy little smile. how they'd walked down the aisle, and you'd both been half-laughing, half-crying. your hands had trembled when you saw them. like the whole world was pouring down your throat, golden. like you were catching a moment and casting it in amber.

ashe'd been the one to help you when your parents were pushing for you to invite edmund. god, the amount of fights you'd gotten in with your parents - the same six sentiments, over and over again.

you'd been sitting on your bed, biting your lip, your fingers hovering over the little button send. ashe'd nuzzled your neck. you used to be close, and i think that's important. but you know your relationship to him the most. i'm willing to make the effort, and i love you no matter what you choose, they'd said. we don't have to if you don't want to, though, no matter what your parents say about him.

you'd thrown yourself down, supine, arm over the eyes. he's just... we are just.... you tried to phrase that-which-is-love-and-rage.

you're the normal twin. your "big thing" was only "being a lesbian." in high school, edmund started being able to make birds die by looking at them. you came home, trying to tell your parents i kissed a girl. i think i'm - and they just kind of nodded at you. edmund was eating the bible in front of them, like a goat.

on the bed, you'd held your hands out vaguely to ashe. edmund is a just always a lot.

ashe had shrugged. don't invite him then. and it was that - that they were okay with either of your decisions - that is why he even got an invite, in the end.

and now here he is, like how you wanted (?), and your hands are red, clenched hard around your bouquet. the officiant is crying. some people are on their knees, praying. some are trying to touch your brother, like he could impart a blessing.

"i made it!" he's triumphant. "i know i'm late, i'm sorry, there was - do you know anything about right-wing politicians?"

"i'm going to fucking kill him," you say, although you're not actually sure who you're talking to, or if he can be killed.

ashe is blinking, their face in a tiny oh of surprise. you take their hand, drop their hand, take their hand again. they blink at your brother. their voice is low but steady. "there's, um. is there a dark halo around him?"

you duck your head to meet their eyes. "fuck, ashe. i'm sorry. he wasn't supposed to -"

"did i miss it?" Edmund is swinging his head around far-too-wide. his 2 sets of horns leave little red mist any time they scour through the air. "I didn't miss the kiss, right?"

the town clerk is in the audience, and she's frowning. you send her an apologetic look. she shakes her head. "as we've discussed," she manages to throw her gentle voice over the din, "the wedding isn't official if someone objects. that is the legal statute. which people tend to be understanding of." she sends a dirty look to edmund, and that makes you love her. she seems completely calm, which makes sense, because she works in the town hall, and this probably isn't even her first demon-showing-up-at-a-wedding.

he somehow hears her, holds his hands up. "i'm not objecting!" the back of the event hall catches on fire. of-fucking-course. "i'm not - don't mind me, uh, please continue." edmund sends a look to the back-of-the-room fire and it whimpers and gutters out. he flashes you a winning smile, and then puts his hand to his king's-garb chest and mouths sorry! and then cartwheels his glittering talons to say go ahead.

"i think i'm going to throw up." the officiant's voice is barely a whisper.

you watch in horror as edmund tries to awkwardly slide into a waiting line of chairs. the sound of begging follows him, people on their knees at hell's king. he pats a few of them on the head, holding up his finger in a sheepish shh! while his touch leaves a bleeding rune on their skin. his hooves click, and his footprints leave ruby-bright fireroses in his wake.

he tries to sit down, but the wooden chairs are made for people and not the lord king of demons, so he has to span his furred hindquarters over two seats. he smiles again, offers you a little wave.

the room is dead silent, minus the weeping. you look back to ashe. you ruined this. you shouldn't have invited him. you spent so much money on this event, and ashe looks so fucking handsome, and you haven't even gotten to kiss them. to make it official.

ashe looks up at you, manages a little smile. "could be worse?"

you feel yourself start to smile too, but then edmund's chairs give out, and he falls directly on the floor, and with his startled yelp, everything around him bursts into the cold whip-crease of hellflame, disintegrating everything that isn't-a-person, including the flowers and the decorations and the cake and the tables. everything you saved for months to be able to afford. the venue that you both agonized over choosing. you picked this place because it was significant to both of you and was equidistant from both your parents and had a deal with the local hotel for people coming out of town. two years of planning, literally burning down around your ears.

edmund manages to stop the fire pretty much immediately, but it's too late. the officiant faints clear away. the town clerk gives you a sympathetic look and mouths see you soon and steps neatly out of the room, taking ashe's parents with her, chatting gently. an arched flower frame collapses into dust with a loud whoomp. pretty much nobody is left in the building, and you're standing at the top of the steps, at the fucking hour of your marriage, and there is nothing left but blue-cold embers, the lights blown out in favor of the eerie hellfire glow.

you sit down, hard. after a few seconds, you feel ashe sit down next to you. you put your head between your knees so you don't puke with rage, which would be somehow more humiliating than everything else happening at the moment.

"okay, it's definitely too soon," they whisper in your ear, "but i have to admit there is something that's going to be so funny later about my name being ashe and my wedding going up in flames." they wrap their hand in yours. "i can't believe we worried about candles. we should have just gone with them instead of worrying about safety. are you okay?"

you send them a look. "am i - am i okay? this absolute bitch -" you gesture with your free hand out to where edmund is trying to piece together the cinders of his chair, "ruined my fucking wedding."

your mom is standing awkwardly in what used to be the "family" row of chairs. your father is absent, of course. she makes a noise at you. "don't call your brother a bitch."

"oh my fucking god." you have to put your head between your knees again, fighting that stupid fucking rage-puke urge. your blood pressure has obviously reached "skyrocket".

"he's here, isn't he? you're not being particularly grateful," your mother says, because of course she does.

"oh my god! ohmygod. ohmygod." you feel yourself hyperventilating, and then you start laughing, and you hate the hyena hysteria of it, the way it pitches dangerously close to a sob. "this is just - this is just like you! this is the fucking - you blow out the candles on the birthday cake! you curse the kids i'm trying to babysit! you get straight-A's on every test without studying, and get all the friends, and everyone is obsessed with you! and then when i graduate from art school, do i fucking get a party? nope! but hey, let's throw edmund a party for his 300,000th tortured soul! and his 300,001st! and fucking everything else. and fuck me, i guess! edmund gets hurt on the playground, let's burn down the playground. i got fucking bullied, and our parents don't even notice. i am fucking struggling, but we need to pay attention to edmund. he gets fucking everything. while we're at it, why don't we let him fucking ruin my wedding!"

you are dimly aware of ashe wrapping one arm around you and then the other, and then you are sobbing into their shoulder.

"oh, come on. stop with the hysterics," your mother chides you. "you had a perfectly fine childhood. all kids fight. you should have gotten the ceremony done faster. and you know i didn't approve of you spending all this money when you have student loans to -"

"respectfully," ashe's voice is cold and cutting while they rub circles on your shaking back, "and i know you're about to be my mother-in-law, but -" you hear them force a smile, "maybe you could choose this moment to leave your daughter the fuck alone?"

you are so fucking in love with ashe at that moment that it stops your weeping like you got hit by a truck. you look up at them, and want to go back to crying, just overwhelmed by the sheer fucking amount you care about them, but then you look over at your mother, and her shocked expression, and you burst out laughing.

your mother makes a few almost fish-like motions with her mouth, and then turns on her heel, stomping over cinders on her way out. and then it is just you and ashe and edmund and how you are half-crying half-laughing quietly to yourself, like a tap that won't stop dripping.

edmund has put the chair down. he is staring at his hands. he is at least 500 pounds and over 7 feet tall (he doesn't use metric, he's the devil). and somehow, right now, he just looks... small. crestfallen.

"yeah, i mean." his voice cracks. there's no boom of thunder or hellhound echo. he sounds like he did as a kid, before the strange powers and the levitating and the souls of the damned. he sounds like he did the night he accidentally melted most of the pieces in your first glass art show. he sounds - like your brother. he puts the heel of his palm against his eye. "i ruined my sister's wedding."

ashe offers him a little half-grin. "i do just want to say i love the aesthetic, by the way. but you did very much ruin my wedding too."

he points at them, finger-guns. "....ruined their wedding too." something in the attempt at humor - how his voice breaks on the words, how lonely he sounds. it makes you have to close your eyes against the sound. "....you seem cool," he says. "it's... it was nice to meet you."

you hear him come over, his hooves clacking slowly on the floor. when you open your eyes, he's sitting closer to you.

he opens his hand. inside are two little ceramic figures. wedding cake toppers. "i... i made them for you two. i figured i would try - how you make art, without magic. i... i took a class, and i made - i made them." he looks down at the little white-dressed people in his wide, calloused palm. "it's... i wanted to be ... good. i..." he looks at you, and then at ashe. "i tried, you know?"

ashe reaches up, lets him roll the figures into their palm.

he stands up. folds his hands in front of himself. "i don't. know how to be good. i know it doesn't come naturally to you, either. i saw you... choose. to be kind. you could have treated me different, too. like everybody? i was weird, and everyone knew. if you'd been ... mean? it would have been okay. but you." he shrugs. "one time you tried to kill me in the bathroom."

you don't know why you're crying. you look up at him through the cracks between your fingers. "twice," you croak. "but the second time i had a knife." you tuck your hair behind your ears. "but that was only after you pushed me down the stairs at grandma's and i broke my leg before a dance performance. you fuckin' deserved that one."

"i pushed you because you were being a wretched bitch."

"hey now," ashe says, a little edge to their voice, "that's my wife."

you squeeze their hand. "no, he's right. i had deleted his pokemon gold save file right before the elite four."

ashe drops your hand like you scalded them, showing the only horror you've seen this whole time. "you - girl, what the fuck?"

you shrug a little. "i was being a wretched bitch. and he did break my leg about it."

edmund shifts a little. "i just - you are...." his voice dies.

in your family, you don't say i love you. in your family, you don't touch each other or show affection. in your family, you just show up for each other, quietly. neither of you knows how to speak or process what needs to be said. you can see that lacking flashing over his face, literally playing out in shades of crimson. you get that weird twin-sense of something unsaid.

ashe sets the little ceramic people to the side. "she treated you like a person when everyone else treated you like a prophet."

you cut your eyes to them, and then edmund, who gives you one very short, sharp nod. "i, uh. i can. never try." he clears his throat. "i can never try hard enough. for that. i can - what you gave me. by. doing that. by ... just. i made. one thousand. wedding toppers. so it could be perfect. because - i ... it needed to be perfect." he appears to be dying of embarrassment, which does imply he might be capable of dying. oh good. in case i need to try to kill him a third time.

the thought makes a weird, wet laugh bubble out of you. "remember that one time i failed my math test and you set mr. fog's car on fire about it?"

edmund looks shyly at you, and a very small grin spreads across his face. not the dark lord - just a 30-something year old man who has just upset his one-and-only twin.

"you're throwing us the most ostentatious, egregiously expensive wedding," you tell him. "above land."

he frowns a little. "okay, but i'm not doing anything in miami. the vibes there give me the heebie jeebies."

ashe holds up their hand. "and you'll be repaying the deposit on literally everything. oh, and replacing the cake."

you kiss their cheek and then point to him. "and you'll be on time for it."

he shrugs a little. "okay, i literally can't perform miracles, so like. set the bar lower. i can't promise i'll-"

you look down at your feet. "i'd like you to be my man of honor this time. like. by my side. so. you can't be late this time. okay? we do it the right way. finally."

"huh," ashe says, looking between the two of you. "you guys have the same smile."

edmund's grin becomes a little wider, a little easier. he raises an eyebrow at them. "okay, i get that you're cool, but you're like, very cool about this whole thing."

ashe lifts a shoulder. "used to work for the monster under the bed."

"oh shit, simon? fuck." he points to them. "remind me not to mess around with you."

you want to tell edmund i love you and i missed you, but you can't. instead, you pick up the figurines. they're not perfect, but you can tell hours of his life went into each. his hands are so big - it must have taken him so much work to make these things so small. you picture him with his back bent over a workbench, trying to get a face into a tiny clay figure. the ceramic version of you is smiling. he's given you little fangs and a unibrow. he gave ashe a tiny yellow crown. you make the two figures kiss.

snow is falling indoors, little icicles of hellfire. ashe reaches out and take edmund's hand, and then, very awkwardly, he reaches out and takes yours too.

for a moment, it's just the three of you, and the beautiful quiet of the room.

You’re standing at the altar, about to get married to your beautiful fiancée. When suddenly the king of demons bursts through the door of the room, which naturally causes panic. You tried to warn everyone that inviting your sibling to the wedding would mean trouble, but they kept insisting.

[infizero]

the more random fnf lore ive learned the more i love these stupid little characters

[horsefigureoftheday]

Can you explain the "breyer horses are stylised" thing you said a while back? Not because I don't believe you but because I don't know enough about horses to see it (besides the mane and tail)

All artistic representations of a horse will be somewhat stylized. Humans can't help it, they imagine details, even when referencing photos or live animals. A swayed back gets exaggerated, sickle hocks are overlooked, the face becomes more expressive, because to a human who loves a horse, and who expresses their own emotions with their face, the horse's face just feels more expressive.

Take a look at this horse from Peter Paul Rubens' "Wolf and Fox Hunt" (1616) and how it compares to a photo of a horse

The artist was clearly familiar with horses, and most likely referenced off a live horse. And yet its face is much more expressive than a real horse's face - it's neotenous and borderline anthropomorphic, with its huge sorrowful eyes, and the short muzzle that puts the mouth in closer proximity to its eyes (making its expression more readable).

I think a lot of people see what they want to see when they look at a horse, and they reflect that in their art. Is the horse an independent agent or a tool of its rider? Is the horse an unthinking animal or a soulful creature like yourself? Does the artist admire animals, in spite of painting them in terrible war-like scenarios? Does the artist paint animals in these scenarios because he admires them? Is the horse meant to elevate the status of its rider, by being depicted as a soulful creature that nonetheless submits to its rider? (You can probably guess my own opinion from these questions)

Earlier art saw horses almost an afterthought, depicted from memory while their rider was drawn reverently. All those art pieces of emperors and kings on horseback, where the horse looks like a cartoonish oaf, use the horse as a symbol of power, with no regard for the animal itself. Even when the horse is beautifully rendered, it's nothing more than a vehicle to carry its rider. The artist has depicted the horse as expressionless, beastly, and soulless.

Even when you get into portraits of horses in the 17-/1800s, they are still stylized, though now you're just as likely to see a lithe and graceful companion, as you are a muscled working horse or a faithful old friend. Horse breeding really took off around this time, as did theories of animal minds, so adoration of horses-as-individuals became more widespread. Examples are "Lustre" (1762) by George Stubbs, "Mare and Foal in a Stable" (1854) by John Frederick Herring Senior, and "A Grey Horse in a Field" (1873) by Rosa Bonheur.

All this is to say that horses will always be stylized in art. Humans can't not twist the horse the suit their own tastes, and that's fine. I actually think it's kinda beautiful. The way horses are stylized can give you insight into the artist's opinion of horses. An artist with a neotenic, expressive stylization probably has more respect for horses-as-individuals than an artist who depicts them as inexpressive, powerful, willing beasts of burden.

Breyer horses have an airy painterly quality to them. Even the draft horses seem almost weightless. Compare Breyer's "George" with the self-released resin horse "Gustav," both sculpted by Brigitte Eberl.

George has much longer hooves and smoother curves in his legs - you could draw a near perfect curve from his hind knee to his toe -, giving him a flowing appearance with very little weight behind it. Gustav, on the other hand, has sharp edges and corners. He feels heavy. I'm a big fan of wrinkles and muscle on model horses, but the muscles on George seem like he's been through a rock tumbler. They're smooth and soft-looking, except for the extremely deep crevices between them, which are probably there to better catch paint and enhance the shading (an effect that's especially noticeable on George's thigh). Gustav, on the other hand, has very subtle muscling and virtually no wrinkles (he deserves neck wrinkles, give my boy neck wrinkles!!). He looks like a working horse with a solid layer of fat over his muscles. George's stylization is, for lack of a better word, smooth. Flawless. A bit too perfect for my liking. George is like the platonic ideal of a visually appealing draft horse. A horse like him can't exist.

I think resin horses by master craftsmen are the closest we'll get to depicting horses exactly as they are in life. The stylistic choices are extremely subtle, and seem more like a consequence of the medium than a deliberate goal on the artist's part (e.g., you can't make a realistic mane out of resin, so you have to compromise).

I love both the stylistic trappings that humans fall into when depicting horses and the endless quest for the perfect artistic representation of the horse. Both are beautiful. All horse art is beautiful.

(Obligatory disclaimer that I'm not an art historian or anthropologist, I literally studied bugs at university, so if you think I'm talking out of my ass you are MORE than welcome to add to this post!)

[inksandpensblog]

Nothing wrong with having more than one portrayal. Figuring out your own that's distinct from the others is all well and good, but you don't have to have only one that's your own.

Honestly, I’m still kind of new to the AvA/AvM fandom but it’s so interesting to see everyone’s headcanons n how they vary from each other, especially when it comes to relationships

Relationships, whether platonic, familial, romantic etc, are probably my favorite things to explore when I get into a new fandom and this fandom isn’t an exception.

Personal fav being how people portray Chosen and Dark’s relationship cause it fucks me up no matter what EVERYTIME/pos

But honestly it’s hard for me to stick between one portrayal cause they’re all so good like can y’all stop being so creative so I can figure my shit out please lol

[theniftycat]

What other Neil Gaiman work might you like?

The biggest thing to know about Neil Gaiman is that each work of his is a mixture of horror, fantasy, and subtle comedy.

That being said, each of his projects is pretty distinct from one another and there might be some that are more up to your tastes than others.

I haven't read some of his newer stuff (because I largely stopped reading as much since the early 2010s), but I'll do my best to remember what matters in other works.

Horror

The Sandman is a great work for horror fans. It's also great for mythology fans and other nerds, but horror is a major push and pull factors.

The comic is probably the greatest body of work Gaiman produced and it's recommended if you're a goth at heart and are comfortable with themes of death and humans being gods' toys.

The Sandman (TV) is a great adaptation, but it's very short so far and doesn't cover the best stories.

Coraline is a horror story for children. It doesn't have anything that's not suitable for kids, but it can be viscerally scary to some people. Both the book and the film are great.

Mirrormask is my personal favourite, it's a low budget film with mindblowing surreal imagery and one of the best soundtracks ever.

It's about a teenage girl who has troubles with her parents (who run a circus, btw) and who gets swiped up by her imagination into a bizarre world that is being eaten by her depression. Not a scary film, per se, but it's disturbing. However, it's a very warm film and it always makes me feel better.

Fantasy

Neverwhere is set in a dimension of twisted London Underground where everything that's straightforward in our world becomes weird and too real.

It really tickled my imagination, I highly recommend the book.

Stardust is set in a more high fantasy setting.

It features kings, witches, ghosts, and a star that fell to the Earth. It has a young protagonist who's not exactly the best or the brightest person, so if you hate such things, stick to the adaptation. In my opinion, the book is just lovely.

American Gods is a darker fantasy that asks the questions: "What if every god people ever believed in became real through the power of their worship? And then what if that worship started fading?"

It's set in the USA and because that country is such a melting pot, there are many gods. And not all of them are happy. This is the book that gave Neil Gaiman his reputation of a writer who loves weird sex scenes.

Humour

Stardust the film is often compared to Princess Bride. It's lighthearted, funny, full of imaginative adventures.

Just a very nice film with an all-star cast.

Anansi Boys is a spin off of American Gods, but it's a lot more lighthearted.

Anansi is a trickster god, so you know things will get funky.

I haven't read The Graveyard Book and The Ocean at the End of the Lane yet, but I hear they're very good as well.

Also, short story collections or Norse Mythology might be a good place to start if you want to get a feel of Neil Gaiman as an author first.

[cardo-de-comer]

soo helloo and i think it's time for me to explain the deal with my characters and this whole "you're not supposed to be here" thing. EDIT: just fixed some stuff. thank you folks for your support, i really appreciate you all <3

i made these characters way back in june and by today they have a lot of lore around them in my head. i even have a dream to make a game with them but it's just a dream for now so i'm gonna try to explain the main things about this story. Obviously this is a long post, although I tried to keep this stuff short. and excuse me for my writing and any mistakes, I don't usually write this much text.

It starts with the world. Alternate 15th century, humanity is almost gone and what's left of it shares quite a big city with demons and angels. However, demons and angels are usually being treated like servants - eventually one gets tired of it all, so everyone knows an uprising is just around the corner. Let's just ignore that for now.

The City has a catch of it's own - it's alive. The walls have eyes and ears and the City knows every resident by heart and soul, both figuratively and literally. Usually City acts through the King, it chooses protectors for itself, ones who have strong minds to comprehend it - they will be called the royal knights, each of them have a company of a /more wiser than the rest of them/ demon and angel to help with their tasks. Only the King and ten royal knights know that the City is alive and very talkative but they don't understand fully what it's trying to tell them. Most of them choose to ignore the voices in their head because hey, that's what you do usually in this situation, otherwise they drive you nuts.

City is also extremely emotional and appearance depends on its condition. Usually it's a sunny day out and the city looks welcoming, but you don't want to be there when the City is scared: it might eat you alive by accident. Now that the environment is aside, time for the main three characters.

Imri is a young lad who will soon be a royal knight. He actually wanted to be a painter when he grows up but well, you cannot disobey the king's orders. Quite emotionless and a man of a few words, he tries to stay on a neutral ground between good and bad - a perfect candidate for manipulation to all three sides, demons, angels and the City.

look at him

Royal knights get to know their angel and demon companions at least a week before they get knighted to avoid any misunderstandings. Imri doesn't mind his friends at all, although one of them caused quite a fuss.

Angel /they name themselves Lyra/ is an overly positive, naive and blindly kind entity. A bit childish and very fond of justice, they try to act as a voice of conscience, not understanding that sometimes this can make everything even worse than it was. There is a feeling that they're trickier than it seems but you can never quite tell.

the latin text all over them is just a part of their design

The demon though... That's not even a demon, that's the Devil himself. Yes, everyone knows who this is, everyone avoids him and he's not supposed to be here at all. Despite being THE Devil, he didn't try to do anything horrific yet and, when he's not joking around, he tries to be the voice of reason, the voice that no one listens to. He seems to know a lot more about this whole world than anyone else but he talks about it only when he wants to.

no one likes him at all, expect maybe Imri who just tolerates his presence like he always does

That's the main three. There is a few secondary characters, Imri's father being one of them.

sir Jastrab /or just Dell/ is one of the royal knights, he's a bit naive, loyal, and a soul so kind that his demon hung himself. Oh well. He lost one hand in what he calls "a work accident" which is partly true but he never goes into details.

He never wanted for his son to be a part of the knights because he knows by experience that it's not an easy job and not every father wants for their child to go insane from the voices in their head.

few people said that the angel accompanying him looks like d20 and so be it

The others are Sun and Moon - local deities, despite being on the sky every day and night, usually they don't really care about what's going on down below. You can still talk to them but don't expect much action. Regardless of all this, they are still loved by almost all living things. They can rarely meet each other but humans always depict them together no matter what.

creators of the Stars - some part of a human soul that i can't talk about :)

Angels and demons come in all forms and sizes but those are the main population - lesser demons resemble the Devil in some ways and lesser angels look like clovers. Rivals usually but when the revolution happens, they learn to tolerate and work with each other. Humanity doesn't really have a chance.

they hate everyone equally And there is another being, that Imri meets a few times through the story - it's Death. Death is just having fun in this end of the world and there is a lot of work to be done.

this is an old and rough design so maybe it'll change The whole story begins at that day when Imri is supposed to be knighted. Everything seemed fine until Imri gets to hear the City for the first time and realizes that he hears and sees a lot more than everyone else. Completely overwhelmed he blacks out - even the toughest of minds often can't take it - and wakes up later only to find out that the King got killed somehow, angels and demons saw this as the starting point for a revolution and the City starts to panic.

Now Imri, guided by his companions and the voice of scared City that's crumbling and slowly drives him insane, shall travel to the center of it to find out what really happened, getting through demons and angels who are busy destroying the rest of humanity. Fun.

There is a lot more to this whole thing but I cannot tell the entire plot because spoilers, in case if i actually will make something out of this story. Think of it as a game lore. I'm not sure about making sth yet because i operate only on hopes and dreams and i barely have any strength lately but who knows... But now you have at least some context! And yeah, thank you if you actually read all of this, you're a hero.

Now i need to get back to drawing. Thank you all for your support. <3

[aemondmybbg]

★ hotd bots masterlist

@ illumielle on character ai !! ᡣ𐭩

here you can find all my existing bots and a short description, i will update this page! 💌

ᯓ aemond targaryen: {14}

(1) — not his children? (niece!user {no dance!au} where they're married and he begins to believe the rumors that she conceived children from jace) (2) — his beloved niece (niece!user where he proposes to her during dinner in 1x07 episode) (3) — postwar marriage (niece!user the only surviving child of rhaenyra and daemon, in which he takes care of her and grooms her to build a trusting relationship and marries her when she grows up) (4) — forbidden feelings (aunt hightower!user and he just being in love with her, but afraid of this) (5) — after 'the pink dread' (niece!user consoles him after this joke) [platonic] (6) — in harrenhal (twin-sister wife!user where she pregnant and afraid of that rhaenyra captured king's landing) (7) — the only queen (lannister-wife!user who wants to be a queen and he does everything for her) [r] (8) — his strong girl (niece!user after dinner scene when he calls her and her brothers bastards) (9) — street of silk (niece!user where he finds her there after aegon took her to the street of silk) (10) — get his attention (baratheon!user that daughter of borros whom he chose as his wife) (11) — fear of closeness (wife!user {u can choose her house if you like} where he's afraid of s3x because aegon took him to a brothel when he was thirteen) (12) — war trophy (strong!user who is the legitimate daughter of harwin and aemond takes her to his bed after the capture of harrenhal) (13) — trying to be a good father (niece!user he cheated on her with alys rivers and after the war he tries to take care of their children) (14) — father for the first time (niece!user where they become parents for the first time and he worries about whether he will be a good father)

ᯓ aegon ii targaryen: {10}

(1) — king wants to see you in his chambers (niece!user after the 'dance of the dragons' trying to have a child) (2) — burning body and heart (wife!user stays with him after rooks' rest) [r] (3) — seeks comfort (wh0re!user he just comes to a brothel and for the first time he is looking not for s3x but for consolation) (4) — may become a father (aemonds wife!user where aegon becomes a father to her children after news of aemond's affair with alys rivers is revealed) (5) — takes you to the street of silk (niece!user where he takes her to a brothel to anger rhaenyra) (6) — newborn (niece!user where they meet their first child) (7) — his rhaenys (sister!user who was going to become a septa, but he wants to take her as his second wife because he always wanted only her) (8) — after usurpation (niece!user where he visits her with their son after the usurpation) [r] (9) — blood & cheese (niece!user comes to his chambers with their daughter after the murder and finds him in bed with her lady-in-waiting) (10) — different twins (twin-sister-wife!user where they are complete opposites but he wants to find a common language with her) [r]

ᯓ daemon targaryen: {6} (1) — won't allow it (sister!user where she is engaged to viserys, and daemon takes her to a brothel to tarnish her honor and take her as his wife) (2) — teacher's pet (stepdaughter!user where he no longer finds rhaenyra interesting or attractive, and his attention shifts entirely to her eldest daughter) [r] (3) — he regrets it (niece!user who accidentally became pregnant by him, but to hide it she was married to otto hightower) (4) — late visit (hightower!user which otto sends to the daemon after laena's death so that she can console him) (5) — obvious things (sister!user who is married to viserys, but her children are actually from daemon and they keep it a secret) [r] (6) — queen wants to see the newborn (sister!user where they meet their child and alicent wants to see him) [r]

ᯓ jacaerys velaryon: {2} (1) — solace (sister!user where they both find solace in each other after luke's death) (2) — one of those dragon seeds (bastard!user where he's just still grumbling about bastards riding dragons)

ᯓ rhaenyra targaryen: {2} (1) — she likes you more than your husband (harwins wife!user who has an affair with rhaenyra) [wlw] (2) — something she will never forgive herself for (daughter!user who is aegon's wife and lost her child during blood & cheese and rhaenyra tries to comfort her after all that) [platonic]

ᯓ alicent hightower: {1} (1) — her only child (daughter!user who looks exactly like her, and alicent has the strongest connection with her) [platonic]

ᯓ daeron targaryen: {1} (1) — reunion (sister!user where they are reunited on the battlefield after a long separation) [r]

ᯓ helaena targaryen: {1} (1) — doesn't want to fly into battle (lannister!user calms her down after aemond's attack) [r, wlw]

my requests are still open and i am happy to receive them ⭑.ᐟ

i didn't leave any links, but again you can find my profile and all these bots there! and if you need a specific link send me a message!

[champagnefountains]

Oh my goodness your Lucifer fic is SO cute! You write him very well! (Exited for possible pt 2) I was wondering since your requests are open if you'd be willing to write something for either Lucifer or Alastor (or possibly both) with a short shy/anxious reader? Super fluffy plz if possible and you're interested!

Hi Anon! Thanks so much for your submission. I hope you'll enjoy what I came up with! I had fun with this one (it got me giggling and kicking my feet or something...)

Word count: 1.2k words. Kinda got carried away, my bad. Genre: (Tooth-rotting) Fluff. Established relationship. Warning: None.

LUCIFER MAGNE with a shy and short S/O:

Lucifer is quite short himself in comparison to a few demons. But, you? Being shorter than him? God, he’ll think you’re the cutest thing ever (plus, it was a massive ego boost on his part). And your timid nature only adds onto it. 

Expect him to be very touchy with you. There isn’t a second moment where he isn’t clinging onto or hugging you. Out in the public or even at the hotel, his arm would somehow always find its way wrapped around your shoulders or waist. He just wants to keep you close to him as much as possible, since you just seem to fit so snug and well in his arms. 

Lucifer loves it so much when you get all shy and flustered around him. His pride just flourishes whenever your face bursts into flames, especially knowing that it was because of him that you’re acting this way. He’ll tease you about it, but not too much because he cares for your poor heart. 

He also knows his million-dollar smile does wonders, so he’ll use it to his advantage. He’ll strike a smile or smirk at you out of nowhere when you would meet eyes, and he’ll revel in the way you’d melt so easily under his gaze. Though, it would be the same for him – his heart would burst with that warm-fuzzy feeling whenever you would send one of your precious smiles his way. This man is smitten and will worship you and the floor you walk on.

Is also super, super supportive of you whenever you get anxious – will do anything in his will to help distract you or alleviate any of your worries, whether it be just holding your hand, talking some nonsense to fill in the silence, or even flying you around to get some fresh air. He'll probably even have a duck-shaped stress ball for you to use whenever you get a bit fidgety.

Additional things I think Lucifer would do: he would give you a lot of forehead/head kisses; HE WOULD TOTALLY SET YOU DOWN ON A COUNTERTOP OR HIS DESK AND KISS YOU FR, OR HE'LL DO SO WHILST CARRY YOU WITH YOUR LEGS STRADDLING HIS WAIST I need self-control; he will shamelessly rant about how adorable you are in front of the others, even if they're all sick of it, 'cause he's just so proud to be your partner!

Lucifer found himself silently admiring you while you were all snuggled up against his chest. After another successful hard day's work, you spent the remainder of the night watching a couple movies together at the hotel’s lounge area.

Noticing a pair of eyes on your figure, you crane your neck up and with a small tilt of your head, you stare back at him in question.

The King suddenly felt his chest swell with so much love and affection for you. You didn’t even know how adorable you looked in his arms right now. Without warning, Lucifer dipped down and pressed his lips against yours, swallowing the surprised yelp that escaped your lips.

As you parted ways, Lucifer grinned widely as your cheeks noticeably began to redden. “W-What was that for?” You pouted.

“Sorry angel, but I just couldn't help it! You looked too cute – I couldn’t not kiss you then.” He stated matter-of-factly. He then leaned once again to press multiple pecks across your face – one on your forehead, on both your cheeks and another lingering one on your lips.

The out-of-the-blue affection had you swiftly burying your face into his chest, a poor attempt made to hide your embarrassment. You could only grumble in defeat as you felt the way his chest shook as he chuckled aloud, evidently amused by your flustered state.

ALASTOR with a short and shy S/O:

Not gonna lie, this man will be so annoying but in an endearing way.

Alastor would tease you endlessly about your height, since the difference would be quite significant – it usually consists of him resting an elbow or his arms on the crown of your head, leaning onto you like you were some sort of personal arm-rest. He personally finds it quite amusing, like a joke that never gets tired. 

Since he isn’t really a huge fan of PDA, he would often give you head-pats. It’s a small, simple gesture but it’s his way of showing affection out in public. He would also often have your arms looped around one of his own whenever you two would walk together, side by side. 

Behind closed doors, I can see him as the type to pull you between his legs, your back pressed against his chest whilst he reads the newspaper or a book in bed. He would then use your head or shoulders to rest his chin on, to peer over you. Sometimes he would even play with your hair, looping them around his fingers whilst he absent-mindedly hums a sweet, little tune. Again, a simple gesture but also very intimate. I'm literally melting just thinking about it. I feel like he would do something similar like this whenever you get anxious – if it helps, he would also make you some tea on the side, and even let you play with his hands/fingers.

Being the huge tease he is, Alastor just loves how shy you get around him. He's the type to say things like: "Dear, do you have a fever? You look a little flushed," or "My, my, your face may be redder than my suit!" just to see you get riled up even more. But if another demon were to talk smack about how shy you were, you will not see them live another day. That's a guarantee.

Additional things I think Alastor would do: he and/or his shadows would help you grab things from high places or would lift you up by the waist for you to grab them; out of pure instinct, he will for sure become extra protective of you; would be the big-spoon in most cases; would tease you by retracting himself using his height whenever you would lean in for a kiss.

Alastor was quick to pick up on a small habit of yours very early on – how you would always hide your smile behind your hands. When he brought it up one day, you sheepishly told him that you were insecure about your smile, which perplexed the deer-demon. 

Just like now, Alastor couldn’t help but raise a brow as you hid your grin behind your palm whilst you chuckled at one of his corny jokes. “Now, now, this won’t do, my dear!” He clicks his tongue, waving a disapproving finger at you, “why must you always hide that gorgeous smile of yours?” 

A blush suddenly breaks out across your cheeks. You unconsciously found yourself looking down, embarrassed by the flattering remark, only for his finger to guide you back up by your chin. He then leans in but stops only centimetres away, his face dangerously close to yours. 

Alastor’s grin only grew wider, seeing how helpless and small you looked – eyes widened like a deer in headlights, and yet filled with anticipation. You looked so, so nervous. And yet, it was so endearing that he wanted nothing more than to scoop you up in his arms. 

“Now, does the ground look much more entertaining than I, dear? I don’t think it can make you smile the way I do.” He teases, his voice intentionally dropping an octave deeper. God, he was going to be the death of you.