#they're already on sale too hell yeah

[anthropwashere]

I never go out of my way to seek out Veteran discounts on anything but sometimes I come across a site that actively wants people to do that so hard it gives you a direct link to the mil ID site to verify yourself and I'm like. Sure. I'm disabled for life. The military owes me free shipping on some bras.

[thebibliosphere]

I was already on a hair trigger today trying not to snap at a mutual for reblogging a "fuck authors who use Amazon" post, but, like, this shit is why some authors can only afford to use Amazon.

They don't have the $75+ to distribute through Ingram Spark. They don't have the $25 it takes to change your files if you need to update them after they've been accepted. They can't afford to take the cost of printing hit to their sales. They can't afford to lose an additional 40% of their income to retailer discounts.

And just so we're clear, Ingram isn't a vanity publisher. They're one of the largest print monopolies in the world. They're used by most mainstream traditional publishers and indie and self-pub authors alike. Amazon uses them when their print demand is too high.

My friend, whose work is published by Gollancz, is printed through Ingram, the same as mine. The difference is their publisher takes the hit for them. In theory. We won't get into dwindling advances here or how publishers are increasingly putting the onus of marketing and sales onto their authors or the fact that their editors can't afford rent or food while the executives get richer and richer.

So what do you do when the mainstream doesn't want you? What do you do when you're told if you can't keep up with the rat race, that you don't deserve to have your work published? What do you do if all you have is the ability to tell stories for a living, and no one wants you?

Well, you could die of starvation. I'm sure there are several people on here who'd be happy if that happened to me. (I know. Because they tell me. Often.) Or, you can shake hands with the devil, knowing it's a bum deal, knowing everything is fucked, but also knowing that every other aspect of this fucking industry is just as fucking bad.

There's no escape. It's relentless.

And you've got people out there posting things like, "Actually, I think authors who charge for their books are part of the problem."

And yeah, in an ideal world, I'd be making art for art's sake.

But we're not in that world. We're in the bad place, and you're actively making it worse. You're encouraging people to steal from people who are struggling just like you and calling it activism against billionaires or putting them in the same moral category as said billionaires as though we're not trapped in this system, same as you. Some of you are fellow fucking authors. And, like, my mind boggles at what it would take to stab a fellow creative in the back like that, but here we are.

Hell world.

[libraryofgage]

@holyangelstudentuniverse requested the following: Steve working at Bath & Body Works while Eddie is the mall pianist?

I love it omfg, your brain is fantastic I hope I did the idea justice

(if you see any typos no you didn't <3)

The old food court pianist was...okay. Technically, she was good; she knew how to play and rarely made mistakes. She was also clearly just there for the bi-weekly check (not that Steve can blame her), and her playing reflected that. The piano became the ideal white noise, loud enough to lessen the awkwardness of any silence but not so amazing that people couldn't ignore it in favor of conversing with each other.

The new food court pianist? He's a fucking enigma.

He's very clearly skilled, and he seems to actually enjoy the job. He plays like Billy Joel and Elton John met one night, had a piano contest, and then had a baby to create the perfect pianist. He's great and energetic and can play anything from Mozart to fucking Cardi B, and Steve wishes he'd quit already so he can actually focus on his own shitty mall job instead of getting absorbed in the guy's playing.

"You should just hook up with him," Robin says one day, hip-checking Steve as she passes by with a box of Cherry Blossom products. She restocks the soap bottles first, then the perfume, then the lotions, and finally the tiny hand sanitizers with their shitty little plastic flip-caps that Steve swears break for the fucking fun of it.

Steve, meanwhile, is replacing last week's sales signs with new ones. They're the exact same. They rarely change, actually. The only difference is the "expiration" date at the bottom, which changes if only to continually sell customers that sense of urgency that results in them buying $50 worth of products they'll forget about until the holidays come around and they need white elephant gifts.

He's almost done, too. All that's left are the signs by the metal gate pulled down over the store's entrance. They'll open it in about an hour to prepare for the mall's opening, but for now, it's staying down to discourage the mini-bodega clerk in the middle of the hall from flirting with Robin and trying to sell her shitty perfume like she can't just steal shitty perfume from Bed Bath and Beyond at the end of the day.

He waits until after he's switched the sign to turn around, arms crossed over his chest. His back is to the gate, and Steve would normally be too fucking paranoid about a blind spot to withstand it, but he's in argument mode.

"I barely know the guy," he says.

Robin snorts as she crouches, stocking extra hand sanitizers in the tiny drawers at the bottom of the shelf. "Yeah, but I know you, dingus," she says, her voice light and bouncing. "You hear the guy's muzak version of a Lil Nas X song and you're ready to marry the guy."

"I can just recognize artistic ability! Have you ever tried to make a pop song sound like a classic?" he asks.

"My point," Robin says, pushing some hair out of her face, "is that you should ask him out. Maybe you two can play piano together."

If she hadn't already heard it before, Steve would be immediately launching into an explanation of why that wouldn't work. Steve has never met someone he liked or trusted enough to actually play with them. Sure, he's tried playing with a partner before if only to say he gave it a shot, but it sucks. Especially when you don't like the person. You're squished together on an uncomfortable bench, sharing sheet music, elbows bumping as you both try to reach the proper keys to keep the song from sounding horrendous. It's Steve's personal version of hell on earth.

But Robin has heard that rant before, so Steve graciously spares her from hearing it again. For now. Until he's drunk, probably.

"What, I'm just gonna waltz up to the piano and ask if he's free on Saturday? Or, I don't know, try some dumb pick-up line like asking if he comes here often?"

"I'll be honest, it's not the worst pick-up line I've heard."

Steve and Robin jump, both whipping their head to look at the grate to see the food court pianist grinning at them (well, more specifically, he's grinning at Steve) from the other side. He's wearing a button-down black shirt with ripped skinny jeans, old Converse, and more accessories than Steve can count. There are chains on his jeans and a guitar pick hanging from his neck and an ear cuff and a stud through the edge of his eyebrow and so many chunky rings that Steve could use as an excuse to stare at his hands for an hour.

Robin is the one who breaks out of the shock first. She jumps to her feet and walks over to Steve, resting her arm on his shoulder and leaning against him. "But would it work?" she asks.

The guy grins wider, obviously looking Steve up and down to check him out before looking at Robin. "From Stevie here? Yeah. He's really rocking the apron," Eddie replies, winking at Steve.

Steve is about to ask how the guy knows his name, but then he remembers the name badge on his apron. He clears his throat, tearing his eyes away to glance down at Robin.

She seems to be having the time of her life right now.

"Well, uh, I'd prefer to know your name before trying any pickup lines," he says.

"Eddie Munson at your service," Eddie says, bowing to Steve with a dramatic flourish that he finds more endearing than anything else.

One look at Robin and her scrunched nose tells him she thinks it's a little over-the-top and, dare he say, cringe. Her opinion doesn't actually matter, though, since she'd be down bad for any girl that curtseyed at her.

Steve looks back at Eddie, noting the now expectant gleam in his eyes. He can't help an amused smile as he says, "Well then, Eddie," Steve says, stressing his name a little just for the fun of it, "come here often?"

Robin groans next to him. "Fucking hell, Steve," she mutters, slapping him upside the head. "I know you suck at flirting but you really couldn't come up with something better?"

"No, no," Eddie tells her, waving his hand dismissively. "I'm into it."

"And I'm out of it," Robin says, raising her hands in surrender before scurrying back to her Cherry Blossom products.

She's definitely still listening, though.

Steve rolls his eyes are her reaction and focuses back on Eddie. "So, uh, are you free on Saturday?" he asks.

"Completely free," Eddie says, taking a step closer to the gate and shoving his hands into his pockets. "How about lunch?"

"Yeah, I know a great pizza place."

"It's a date then," Eddie replies, winking at Steve. "By the way, any song requests?"

Steve blinks and thinks for a minute before asking, "Do you know Vienna?"

Eddie's grin tells Steve that he does, in fact, know Vienna. "Vienna it is." With that, he winks at Steve once more before heading back to the food court.

"That was painful," Robin says once he's far away enough.

Steve rolls his eyes and flips her off. "You're just jealous I've got a date and you're still too chicken shit to approach the Nike girl."

Robin practically squawks at him. "Oh, fuck you," she says.

"I'll leave that to Eddie, thanks," Steve says, laughing when Robin gags.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Bake Sale High

First Lady of Private Garden Blurb

Jack is 18 and First Lady is 17

Synopsis: Urban gives you the wrong brownies 🤭

Pairing: Baby!Jack Harlow x Baby!Reader

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Your mouth was watering at the sight of Urban's brownies that he had made with the help of his dad for the soccer team's bake sale  to raise money in order for them to get new uniforms. Eating breakfast before you left the house was never possible since you always woke up so late and Jack would have to damn near pull you out of the bed when he came to get you.

As you reached your hand out to open one of the containers, Urban quickly snatched it away from you making you pout.

“Urby! I'm hungry! Give me one! JACK! Make him give me one!”

“Urb! Give it to her!”

“I will, but not that one!”

“What, why?” Jack asked as he looked at him before holding the  other container of brownies up and inspecting them.

“They have a special ingredient.” He told the both of you as he made a poor excuse of a wink as you and Jack stared at him before looking at each other.

“If that was you winking at us, never do that again.” Jack told him and Urban immediately rolled his eyes.

“They have weed in them.” Urban said as he tried to whisper it and failed miserably.

“And you can't whisper.” You added as Urban let out a huff and opened the other container and handed you and Jack one brownie each.

“That'll be a dollar and fifty cents for both of you.”

“Not for your best friends it won't be. As much as you steal my food.” You said as you broke off a small piece and threw it into your mouth.

“I do not!”

“Urby please stop talking because you do.”

“Jack, you gonna let your girl lie on me like that?” Urban asked.

Jack was so focused on the brownie and he just shrugged before responding to him.

“So she can beat both of our asses? Nope, you on your own.”

“Seriously!?”

All three of you were sitting near the bleachers waiting for the first bell to ring when you started to feel weird. Jack noticed that something was off too and quickly made a point to ask if you were okay.

“Babe? You feel alright?” He asked as he turned to you, however seeing how your eyes looked startled him.

“Um, no not really. I feel heavy and my mind is cloudy.”

“Uh, Urb…. Look at her eyes.” Jack instructed Urban. Once he turned around to look at both of you he simply muttered.

“Oh fuck.”

“URBAN! YOU SAID THE OTHER ONES HAD WEED IN THEM! LOOK AT HER! SHE'S HIGH AS A KITE!”

“IT'S JUST A SMALL AMOUNT!”

“URB! She probably can't take it! She's a lot smaller than I am! She's never been high before!”

“Yeah, I didn't really think this one through. I must have mixed up the containers or they are both literally mixed throughout both of them.” He said as he held both of them up and inspected them.

“OBVIOUSLY!”

“Smush, I have a quiz first period. How am I supposed to take it!?” You asked since you were now freaking out. You had never gotten high before and for this to be the first time, you were terrified.

“Okay, baby calm down. It'll wear off. It'll be fine.” Jack told you as he was trying to talk you off a cliff.

“It's not going to wear off before first period! Babe, my arms don't work! They're so heavy! And why am I so hungry?” You whined as you laid your head on his shoulder while Jack just glared at Urban.

“My bad.” He quietly said as Jack just shook his head.

Jack immediately slid your phone from your pocket to send a text to hot chips and bad decisions.

Y/N- it's Jack and I need a favor

Jess- Not the white boy texting us

Blanca- If you hurt Y/N, I will let Panchito loose

Victoria- Will you two let the man explain!?

Y/N- Thank you, Victoria. Y/N just ate a weed brownie because Urban's dumbass mixed up the containers. Any of you have eye drops?

Blanca- WHAAAAT

Victoria- We literally just got to school. How the hell has she had time to get high already?

Y/N- VICTORIA FOCUS 

Jess- Lmaooooooo and we have a quiz first period 

Y/N- Jess! This isn't funny!

Jess- Oh admit it, Jack. It's a little funny.

Y/N- We're outside by the bleachers

Ten minutes passed before all three of them made their way to the bleachers to see you out of it as you were now laying in Jack’s lap.

They simply looked at Urban who held up his hands in defense.

“Wait, how are both of you not high? Didn't you both eat brownies?” Jess asked before busting out laughing.

“I'm guessing that the batches are mixed sooo I definitely can't sell those not knowing which is which.” Urban explained as Victoria took out her eye drops and held your eyes open to drop them in.

“Somebody literally has to keep an eye on her the entire day.” Jack said as they all turned to look at you to see that you were digging through your backpack and pulled out a lollipop that you quickly stuck in your mouth.

“Not us being put on babysitting duty.” Urb muttered and Jack let out a scoff.

“You were the dumbass who gave it to her!”

“But Lil Bit, on a real note, they were good weren’t they?”

“NOT NOW URB! I'M TRYING NOT TO DIE!” You exclaimed as you tried to stand up and wobbled a little to the left. Luckily, Jack caught you. 

“Damn, Urban. How much did you put in those brownies!?” Victoria asked him as she quickly got on the other side of you.

“Um…. Not that much.”

“Clearly it was because this girl isn't even on planet earth anymore.” Blanca said as she watched you with wide eyes. 

The first bell had now rang and Jack let out a sigh.

“Well here goes.”

It was now the end of the day and everyone had taken turns walking you to your classes to make sure that you had gotten there on time. Lunch consisted of you eating the majority of Urban's and Jack’s food before also eating your own. You could feel your high slowly starting to wear off by 1:30 and you thought to yourself that it was absolutely crazy that it had lasted that long. Jack had waited for you outside your last class so he would be able to take you home. You were the last one to leave the classroom and immediately embraced him before you held up your quiz to show him.

“You okay now?” He asked as he leaned down to kiss the top of your head.

“Yes, and apparently she graded the quiz since I was the first one to finish and I got a 100 on it.”

“Wait, isn’t that your hardest class?” Jack asked as he looked at you and you simply nodded. 

“Yeah and I didn’t even study which is the crazy part. Where’s Urban? I need another brownie tomorrow for my history test.”

“Baby, NO!” 

[fictionalcharactersaremypassion]

The Ripped Jeans

I posted this on ao3 but thought I'd do it here too since it's not too long. I made a little error; this occurs in s11 but I forgot that the gay friends episode (when he wears the ripped jeans) comes before the one about the apartment but whatever. It's fine. In this, they're already at their apartment

////

Mickey should’ve lounging by the pool smokin’ a joint, or sitting on the couch eating a cold slice of pizza, watching some shitty movie he’d seen countless times before. It was his and Ian’s day off, damn it.  So why the fuck did his husband have to drag him out while he bought some more jeans? 

Ugh, Ian was always wanting to do this kinda mundane shit with him now that they were married and not in prison anymore. On any other day, Mickey would’ve went along with it, probably would’ve given him some shit for it too, but today was just not one of those days he wanted to be in the fucking mall . 

Too many other people had the same idea; for mid-morning on a Friday, it was too fuckin’ crowded. The store could’ve been bigger, could’ve not had such shitty hipster sounding music playing overhead. And if one more fucking sales person came over to ask if Mickey needed help, he might just find himself thrown back into prison, and Ian could be pissy about it all he wanted. 

He leaned against the wall, the part of it that wasn’t covered in clothes that were hung up. At least if he had to suffer through this, he coulda been in the dressing room with Ian. Why the hell should he stay out here and wait? Better fucking question; why did Ian have to try them on all? Should’ve just grabbed a couple pairs and be done with it. 

“You done yet?” Mickey called impatiently. 

From the other side of the dressing room, he could hear Ian blowing out puffs of air in frustration. “ No .” 

“The fuck is taking you so long?” 

Not too far away, a woman was pushing along a stroller with her young daughter strapped in it. She shot Mickey a nasty look. He flipped her off. 

“Fuck you. You wanna act all high and mighty? Go be with those North Side yuppies.” 

“ Mickey ,” came Ian’s exasperated voice. “Leave them alone and help me.” 

Help him, ay? He could work with that. 

“Sure thing, Lover,” Mickey said slyly, pushing himself off the wall and over to the dressing room door. “Ain’t gotta tell me twice.” 

“That’s not what I meant, Mick,” Ian said dryly. Mickey stopped in his tracks, and scowled. “Can you grab me a couple more pairs to try on? I don’t like the way these fit.” 

“The fuck do I gotta do that for?” 

“Because you’re my husband and you don’t mind doing things for me,” Ian responded. 

“You gonna blow me for it later?” Mickey grumbled. 

“If you’re good,” Ian said, and Mickey could just picture his husband’s lascivious grin. 

Fuck yeah , Mickey thought, making his way over to teh various tables and shelfs. Ian was probably gonna be a little pissed that all he did was grab random styles that were in his size, but he could get the fuck over it. 

Jesus, why were there so damn many kinds of ‘em? And why the fuck were they so expensive? 

At this point, his arms were getting weighed down by the sheer amount of jeans draped over them. But there was one more pair he hadn’t taken yet. He grabbed that one too, taking them back to the dressing room for Ian to try on. 

And hopefully there was something he liked in there so they could get the fuck out of here soon. 

“Mick? You there- oof! ” 

He’d started tossing them over so they’d land in the dressing room. He was gettin’ some disapproving looks from the sales people but he couldn’t care less. 

“Seriously, Mickey? You couldn’t have just let me open the door?” 

“Nah,” Mickey said. “Now hurry the fuck up, Gallagher.” 

“Jesus, fine,” Ian scoffed. There was noise, some shuffling going on in there, and then, one pair of jeans came hurling out of there for Mickey to catch. “Take these back.” 

“What’s wrong with these?” Mickey unfolded them to examine them further. They were black, and ripped at the knees. Didn’t look half bad if he was being honest. 

“I don’t really like ripped jeans,” came Ian’s answer. 

Mickey held onto the jeans just for a minute longer. It was fucking weird. He didn’t usually give a shit about clothes. If they didn’t stink and they fit, that was good enough for him. He’d never given much thought about what he wore. 

But these ....They looked kinda badass. 

Now you’re gonna dress like a faggot? Came the voice of his father, a harsh whisper in his ear that had Mickey freezing up right there. 

Even after all this time, Terry Milkovich had a way of getting his son right where he wanted him to be. 

And suddenly, these jeans felt like they were burning his hands. Mickey quickly balled them up, shoving them into a shelf so he could stand beside the dressing room again. That smile on his face was only half hearted when Ian came out, coyly remarking on how nice and tight this pair was. 

Mickey was aware that Ian was suspicious; he’d been oddly silent on the way out, the drive back, and didn’t even argue with him about what kind of take out they’d have for dinner that night. He just wasn’t ready to talk about it, not right now. 

His thoughts kept drafting, kept taking him back to the hipster store with the ripped jeans. 

Terry woulda never let him even glance in the direction of those things, let alone wear ‘em. And sure, he had no power over Mickey now, had no say in the choices he made in his life. He knew that. 

But that didn’t mean he ever truly left . 

Sometimes his voice was just there , man. It slithered up ‘till it was in his ear, softly reminding him of who he was now- a good for nothing fag - and who he used to be. Most days, Mickey could just tune it out, pretend it wasn’t there. 

Times like this proved to be much more difficult. 

It bothered him, conflicted him that his first inclination upon seeing the jeans wasn't disgust. It wasn’t to make a smart ass remark. He’d liked him, would’ve considered even trying them on too. 

He’d accepted he was gay. Embraced it wholeheartedly just as he knew he’d always love Ian Gallagher. Hell, he’d even worn a fuckin’ dress to get through the boarder. But this...makin’ changes to his clothes was too big of a change.

That evening, as a steady rain came down outside, the sky dark and the windows littered with scattered raindrops, the two of them were sitting comfortably on the couch they’d gotten from Kev and V with containers of Chinese food Ian had bought.  The television was on, but Mickey’s focus was on his husband pathetically trying to use the chopsticks they were given. 

“This is just sad, man,” he said, a small smirk peeking out. 

“Fuck off,” Ian scowled, eyes lighting briefly when he successfully picked up a piece of sesame chicken- but then it fell back into the container and he groaned in disappointment. 

“Just get a fuckin’ fork-” 

“-I can do this!” 

Mckey slurped a lo mein noodle, watching the frustration grow and grow in his husband’s eyes. “S’gonna get cold.” 

“I can do this,” Ian stressed, jaw clenching when yet another piece slipped out of the hold he had on it. “Just give me a minute.” 

His annoyance turned into disbelief when Mickey plucked a piece of chicken right from his container, bringing it right to his mouth with a closed-mouthed cheeky grin. 

“Shoulda been faster,” he said after it was swallowed. “Fucking bastard,” Ian muttered. He ultimately gave up after that, rising to his feet to get a fork, tossing away the chopsticks and coming back with a fuckin’ pout . Plopping back down, he used one hand to affectionately card his fingers through the hair on the back of Mickey’s head. 

Times like these, nights like these where they could relax after a long day of deliveries- or in the case of today, doin’ nothing at all- were what Mickey looked forward to. Who would’ve thought this would be his life now? Goin’ from that kid who was abruptly woke up with a tire iron poking him in the back to stayin’ in this fancy ass apartment with his fucking husband , doing the everyday shit together like it was fuckin’ fate or whatever. 

For a few moments, Mickey watched the TV, not realizing that Ian was openly staring at him. 

“You wanna tell me what’s up?” 

“What?” Mickey tore his eyes away to meet Ian’s. There was some concern, some curiosity. 

“What’s wrong?” Ian repeated. 

“Ain’t nothin’ wrong, Firecrotch.” 

“You sure?” Ian couldn’t help but press a little. “You’ve been acting weird since we went shopping. Did something happen?” 

“Did something- Jesus! Would you get off my ass,” Mickey slammed the container of food on the worn coffee table. “Do I have to tell you every fuckin’ thing that goes on with me?” 

“Well, as your husband , I think I have a right to know when you’re upset,” Ian leveled him with a glare. 

“The fuck you do!” 

Ian was taking deep breaths in and out. He rubbed his fingertips on his eyelids. “Is this all because you didn’t want to go shopping?” 

At this, a feeling of hurt seeped into Mickey’s chest. Hurt that quickly changed into anger . That what Ian thought? Didn’t have to think about it, just came to the conclusion that Mickey was acting off because he was forced into something he didn’t wanna do like some fuckin’ child? 

Fuck this movie. Fuck this dinner. Mickey was up on his feet, throwing the fork in the sink, letting it clatter loudly. The food went into the fridge, and he slid his hoodie on. 

“Where are you going?” Ian quickly jumped up. 

“Out,” Mikey said shortly. 

“It’s raining dumbass. Where are you gonna go?” Ian snapped. 

“Don’t care so long as it’s away from your nosy ass,” Mickey made sure his phone was in his pocket, then headed towards the door. 

“Mickey, come the fuck on! Can’t we just talk about this like fucking adults ?” 

There it was again. The insinuation that Mickey was acting like a bratty child. 

“Fuck you, Ian!” He shouted. He left without another word, slamming the door so hard that the next door neighbor banged on the wall.  

All the lights except for the one over the kitchen sink were off when Mickey returned. The TV was off, a sliver of light coming out from their bedroom.

He slid off his boots, throwing his hoodie on the back of the couch, rubbing his eyebrow. Ian was gonna be pissed. He was still a little pissed. 

And he was gonna want an explanation for what that was earlier. 

“Hey,” Mickey said quietly, opening their door to find Ian already in bed with the glow of the night lamp lighting up the room. 

“Hey,” Ian said without looking at him. “You better now?” 

“Yeah, still a little pissed at you,” Mickey said, to which Ian’s head swiveled around in his direction. 

“ Me? What the fuck did I do?” 

He was less angry than earlier, but his tone still held a touch of defensiveness. 

They’d been trying to do better about this stuff now that they were married, communicating and all that shit. Mickey knew it was important but fuck , this was a pain in the ass sometimes. Was it really necessary to talk about every fuckin’ thing? 

“Didn’t have to assume like you did,” Mickey muttered. 

“About what? ” 

Mickey took a deep breath, staring his husband in the eyes. “You thought I was actin off ‘cause I had to go shopping with you.” 

Ian licked his lips, letting the words sink in. “But it wasn’t....was it?” 

“No,” Mickey sat down on the bed, leaning back and letting his gaze longer on the still curtain-less window. 

Briefly, there was nothing but silence. 

“But then what was it?” Ian said, confused. “What was wrong?” 

“Does it matter?” Mickey said with no heat. 

“Mick, of course it matters.” 

Ian reached out to cup his face but Mickey pulled away. “Why do you gotta assume the worst of me?” He asked instead. 

“What?” Ian blinked. 

“You didn’t think something else was wrong?” Mickey didn’t try to disguise the hurt in his voice. “You just thought I was poutin’ or some shit?”

The question had Ian deflating, looking remorseful. “I didn’t...You were complaining before we left,” he said lamely. “I just thought you were mad we didn’t spend all day here like you wanted.” 

“Yeah, well. I wasn’t.” 

Ian scooted closer, his face neatly fitting into the crook of Mickey’s neck. 

“I’m sorry, Mickey. I shouldn’t have assumed.” 

“Damn right you shouldn’t have,” Mickey said, feeling Ian’s lips press a kiss to his neck. “You’re still an asshole, though.” 

“I know,” Ian’s words were muffled against his skin.  “I’m sorry.” 

Mickey tried to curl around his husband, breathing in the scent of Ian and Irish spring soap. “I’m sorry too. Shouldn’t have walked out like that.” 

“You were upset,” Ian reasoned. “At least you didn’t punch me.” 

“Wanted too.”

“But you didn’t,” Ian pulled back, though he was still close enough for Mickey to take him in his arms if he wanted to. “You showed restraint.” 

His eyes were lighter, a smile coming out. He was joking, and it loosened something in Mickey’s chest. 

“Gotta show it once and a while,” Mickey grunted. 

That smile slowly disappeared. Ian, taking a second to think it over, leaned forward to kiss his temple. 

“You wanna tell me what’s wrong now? 

“It’s fucking stupid,” Mickey regretted walking out, regretted making it obvious he was upset over a pair of fucking jeans . 

“You listen when I’m upset about stupid stuff. Besides, we both know how you downplay your shit,” Ian murmured. “Just tell me what’s up, Mick. I’m listening, I promise.” 

How did he even begin to explain this? 

“You remember-” Mickey hesitated for a long while, then tried again, “you remember when I was bringing you stuff to try on?” 

Ian nodded. “What about it?” “You remember how you gave me the ripped jeans back ‘cause you said you didn’t like ‘em?” 

Jesus, don’t be such a fucking pussy. Just tell him. 

“Mick-” Ian started. 

“I liked ‘em,” Mickey said, once he’d cut Ian off. “I liked how they looked.” 

“You did?” Ian said, mildly surprised. “Well, do you want to buy a pair?” 

“I don’t fuckin’ know,” Mickey groaned. “I don’t know, okay?” 

Ian nodded slowly. “I’m kinda lost here. You liked the jeans....but why were you upset about that?”

“Why do you think, dumbass?” Mickey sighed. “Fuckin’ Terry.” 

His husband’s eyes darkened. “ Mickey ...” 

Mickey rubbed at his brow again. “They look like something a fag would wear,” he said quietly, finally meeting his eyes again. “S’what he’d say.” 

“Good thing he has no say in any of this,” Ian said firmly. “Mickey, you can wear whatever you want. Terry has no say in your life anymore.” 

“I know that. S’just....” Mickey struggled with his words. “Not easy, man.” 

“I know,” Ian said gently. “I know it’s not. I just want you to remember that you don’t have to be that person anymore. You don’t have to be at Terry’s beck and call. You’ve done so well for yourself, Mick. I’m fucking proud of you. And if you want to wear ripped jeans now, you should do it. I bet you’d look pretty damn sexy if you did.” 

“Ay, cool it, man,” Mickey huffed out a laugh. 

“I told you that you have pretty nice legs,” Ian grinned, letting his hand wander along Mickey’s thigh. “I mean it, though. Don’t let Terry stop you from doing what you want anymore.” 

Mickey considered this, and frowned. “You don’t think I’ll look-” He trailed off, not knowing how to finish. 

Luckily, Ian understood him well enough to know. “You’ll look fucking amazing.” 

“Come on, man.” 

Ian placed his hand on top of Mickey’s. “If it’s what you want, we’ll go back there tomorrow and buy them.” 

“I dunno....”

“Okay,” Ian said after a second of thought, “what if I wanted them? Would I look like a fag?” 

“Fuck no,” Mickey said immediately. 

“Then why would you?” Ian held Mickey’s face in his hands, kissing him softly. “You don’t have to play by his rules anymore. You’re free, Mickey. And you can do whatever you want now.” 

Ian was right...he was fuckin’ free. 

And if he wanted to go buy a pair of ripped jeans, he damn well could. Fuck Terry for making him feel otherwise. 

“Yeah,” Mickey murmured, realizing how many possibilities were open to him. He didn’t have to give a shit anymore. “Guess I can.” 

Ian’s smile was so wide and dorky. “Do you wanna go back tomorrow?” 

“Fine. But we better hit the food court for a cinnamon roll too, bitch.” 

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 17 thoughts

whispers softly. man... i need a minute. shaky breath.

okay. i'll start at the top like always. AUGH THE TEARS. fighting them. okay. need to put on some sad songs to accompany the 45-60 minutes it will take to type all this up

so, i sat down ready to see where this was gonna go. in fact i noted that i was incredibly locked in. which i continue to believe that i was.

we see a submarine, which is a type of craft i just do not trust. even before all that went down last summer. too scary for me. but they see something giving off a signal. and despite being a cartographer ship, they have missiles. and they're gonna go towards the thing they see on the radar, because they were told to. which seems wrong.

but then all their power is knocked out!!! and they are ordered to surface. but how will they do that under a ton of ice?!?!

title sequence. i was expecting different than the usual "the truth is out there" but i guess it's just business as usual over here despite it all

back to where we left off: scully's on the phone with real mulder and fake mulder is in her room. she hangs up on real mulder and tells the fake one that it was a wrong number, which had to be confusing to real mulder.

she tells him to put his hands on the wall, and he makes some quip about being shot before and not caring for it, and for a minute i'm like oh shit, that's a very mulder thing to do- what if he is, in fact, real mulder, and it's fake mulder on the phone? but that theory didn't make much sense anyway and also it was quickly put to rest by the fact that he started beating the hell out of scully.

so time skip: real mulder shows up to the scene with his "sister", who says the alien hit man is gonna call and ask to make a trade: scully for his "sister", and yeah, quotes are verbatim, i was still not buying this whole family relation thing

but his "sister" says that she knows how to kill the alien hit man: you have to hit the base of his skull. maybe. she isn't 100% certain. and also you can't miss because their blood is toxic. which we actually did already know!

and he's getting suspicious. why won't she explain exactly where she has been all this time? and what's this deal with her "father"? he's yelling at her at this point and i get it because it's not adding up to me either

she says that the aliens have been trying to establish a colony on earth since the 1940's, and:

"it's their belief that the stewardship of the planet is being forsaken" <- okay yeah. can't argue there. some of us are trying, aliens. i am not one of the mega companies pouring nuclear waste into the ocean. but maybe y'all could do a better job. and she continues:

"and that by default they'll someday become the natural heirs" <- well hey. you were sounding reasonable but now you are not. have we considered that maybe the people already here could give it another go free from the shackles of the 1%? you're acting like it's an estate sale and buddy we're still living in the house. you lost me there, and i was willing to hear you out.

she says that all of the clones worked at abortion clinics to gain access to fetal tissue, so they could combine human and alien dna. which i imagine had to be a good pr boost for abortion clinics (heavy on the /s here)

and the killer is after them because their experiments with mixing alien with human dna were not sanctioned, so they're "diluting the race", which i guess seems like the thing they would be worried about.

he doesn't seem to fully buy it, because he says "that's a good story, but i've heard a lot of good stories lately" which is true!!! our old worstie ambrose chapel was a liar, remember? or at least someone impersonating him was doing some lying!

"i'm your sister, fox, you have to trust me" UM PROOF?? have we done a dna test??? you can't just show up like that!!!!!

skinner knocks at the door... but is it really him? or the shapeshifting hit man????

"why are the lights out?" skinner asks quite reasonably "orders from my ophthalmologist" he says, lying very easily for a man for loves the Truth. but it did make me giggle.

sister approves that it is really skinner! only after they set a trap to get him just in case it wasn't. again i ask why she can tell if it's the man or not but okay. we move past that.

he makes introductions: "this is my sister, samantha mulder" to which skinner replies "WHAT"

and yeah. i would react the same!!!!

(also weird to hear mulder used as a last name. to me that's just the guy. you know?)

NOOO his phone rings. it's scully calling from a payphone. "he says he's gonna kill me if you don't give him what he wants" oh. okay.

there's no time to explain to skinner what is going on so!!! just please trust me, he says!!! and he does. another point for skinner, who is like a strange uncle or cousin to me.

they go to do a hostage trade: "samantha" for scully. and is this the same bridge where they did the hostage deal for mulder at the end of s1? do they only have one bridge for hostage deals. might be a bit much to have 2 in one city.

skinner has a sniper in the bush, ready to shoot at the base of the alien hit man's neck during the exchange. okay save the day mister sniper please.

AUGH HOSTAGE EXCHANGE. it's so tense. i paused here to write how tense it was, which did not ease it in the slightest. the hit man has a gun to scully's head and it's recalling mulder's early trauma with hostage exchanges. they're waiting for the right moment to shoot....

scully's in the car!!!! but samantha tried to use the needle that kills the aliens and she MISSED and the sniper shot was messed up and then there's firing and is it the sniper? or is it the hit man? who is hit? it is very unclear!!!!! both hit man and samantha tumble into the cold water beneath.

he's still at the bridge, staring down into the place he last saw her. scully comes out to join him, and he says "you should be at the hospital" (she has gauze on her head and says she was just discharged)

he's staring into the water, trying to come up with different ways she might have lived

"why didn't you tell me on the phone that it was her?" "i couldn't tell you 'cause you'd never let me go through with it" AUGHHHHHHHHH.

(and knowing how the episode ends. i am glad this happened. but in the moment. this was a gut punch)

she asks how he knew it was really his sister (valid question, one i fear he should have asked as well) and he snaps about how could she ask that, and she's like, dude someone with your face and body just kidnapped me???? so the whole who is who thing is a little murky??

(she actually calmly explains this. without any judgement. judgement added was my own. but you can imagine that after this experience, hearing "he's an alien" might still be a bit of a hard sell)

okay, mr. mulder is on the scene. he has to tell his dad he lost his sister. I lost her, he says. emphasis on the I. as if it was an action that he took. fuck.

and his dad hits back with a "you LET this man take your sister?" and son mulder is CRYING. what the HELL this is too much. the man has suffered too much. i'm given flashbacks to the last time we saw him cry when he thought he lost scully forever.

PAUSE. i just know the actors were eating up these lines. ohhh i know they were sinking their teeth into them the way that good dialogue allows you to. when you tap into the soul of a character, a whole person who isn't even real, because the writing cuts to their heart. yeah yeah yeah i knowww they were rolling with it and it felt Good

back to the scene. his father is giving him a guilt trip about how his mother is going to deal with "losing her again". and he's apologizing and crying when his dad pulls out an envelope

"your sis- SAMANTHA" told me to give you this.

the implication that he lost the claim to be considered related to her????? is sooooo entirely messed up?? that is the kind of thing that ruins a person???? holy fuck??

he's sobbing while opening the letter, and it gives an address where she says they can meet up if they are separated... so maybe she's really still out there??? hope has been installed back into "she's not actually dead" camp

he rolls up to the address and parks in an area labeled "NO PARKING". grief will do this to a guy.

but just as he arrives, scully calls and says they found her in the river. NOOOOOO THE NEWLY RETURNED HOPE.... "whatever you're feeling, you can't blame yourself" she says, knowing that he must be putting his whole soul into Blaming Himself

but... her body is melting??? is it an alien body??? is the melting gonna turn into toxic gas?? scully don't stare at it you're gonna get all thick blood!!!!

back to mulder. this man is experiencing all stages of grief at once on the steps of a women's clinic. he goes in and pulls out a gun and boy i sure hope there are no women inside.

someone is in there. it's... someone with samantha's face??? saying that she knows "she's dead"????? "it was all a lie", he mumbles as he realizes he was played

YESSSS I KNEW IT. i knew that was NOT his sister. i knew it was too weird and coincidental to be true. this makes the grief of losing her dissipate entirely so i do consider this a win beyond me just being able to guess where the plot was going

and i'm thinking, how the hell is he gonna explain all this to scully? like, to mom and dad, you will have to play along with the whole "she died" thing, and while that is by no means easy, it is a concrete thing you can say and do. but scully??? how is she going to react to "someone pretended to be my sister and then got killed"

(i suppose mulder could tell his parents that DNA testing on "samantha's body" proved no relation, but that would still be complicated to walk through, because there was no corpse to prove that, you know, because she dissolved- maybe scully could make some paperwork to make it look real?)

back to the matter at hand: these aliens with the same face are saying that he must save their original source. and he says "i am not your savior" which- tea. set your boundaries king. in fact, had i been there, i would have done the opposite of protecting, and instead start blasting these aliens that pretended to be my long-dead sister.

but they have leverage... they know where she really is...... so he doesn't walk out....

hit man arrives!!!!! armed with his needle!!! and mulder goes to confront him, but he knocks him on his back, and sets a fire- mulder's weakness!!!!!!

scully is making a report. she cannot substantiate his claims of aliens. and she's got a cut on her forehead from hit man taking her. my poor queen :(

back to the fbi agent that died in the last episode. he has nasty cuts allllll over. like he was carved with designs. sorry for that imagery but i saw it and must describe it.

she thinks she can solve this case with the power of SCIENCE!!! what killed this guy, exactly? maybe if we can figure it out, the other pieces could fall into place

so the virus that causes the blood to thicken is inhibited by the cold.... which explains our earlier scene of mulder in the ice tub and her yelling about him needing to be cold...

DEEP THROAT 2.0 ARRIVAL? (sidenote does this dude have a real name? like while this was airing what were y'all calling him...)

he tells mulder that the last alien- the one who was sent to kill the clones, our shapeshifting hit man- has been tracked to alaska, and that you have to pick your battles to win the war. telling him not to go to alaska. can you imagine.

scully goes to his place and knocks but no one answers. and his newspapers on at the doorstep. so she busts out her keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey..... heart still melts that she has this.......

and HE KNEW SHE WAS GONNA INVESTIGATE???? he sent her an email..... and he's saying how he wouldn't let her risk her life... nooo don't you weaponize the earlier drawing a line thing, that was about chasing a very vague alien lead to an agent's death, not about investigating ur sister...........

she bursts into skinner's office. and then apologizes for doing so.

(i love this so much. such a tiny detail that tells us a lot about her character. that Need to be good and do the right thing and please those whom she looks up to. ohhhhh)

he asks to speak to her off the record, and it seems at first promising... but he won't help her get in contact with mulder. EVEN after she says please!!!! she is gonna cry!!!!!

skinner's bitching about mulder's actions being a violation of his oath, and she's saying that he saved her life, and he comes back with a "if he wanted or expected you to do the same, he would have told you where he was going"

skinner being a jerk... at this point i began to revoke the point i earlier gave him...

he looks deeply troubled though, and i was like, ohhh, mulder must have promised him to not tell her where he was going... i see into your plans, mulder (<- this is not what happened)

back at mulder's place. scully's searching for clues. there's an x taped to the window again, which must be something he just does sometimes. and there's ominous music.

she falls asleep on his couch, and i swear i actually felt my heart melting at this moment. the way she was curled up. subconsciously trying to hold onto a piece of him. only finding rest where he did. i can't even wax poetic about this because i can't put the words into the right shape. but it is gonna destroy me.

someone is knocking... but who?

DEEP THROAT 2.0?!?!

he tries to act like he just went to the wrong room, but she isn't buying it, following him and demanding to know where he really is

SKINNER IS HERE? GETTING ON THE ELEVATOR????? SKINNER ATTACKING D.T. 2.0??? the girls are fighting!!!!!!!

he makes deep throat 2.0 tell him where mulder is, even when skinner is pinned up and deep throat 2.0 is the one holding the gun, and he said "i've killed men for less", but skinner says that if you kill him, he'll be killing 2 men....... this gag seems to have worked

SKINNER is AT THE DOOR to mulder's place where scully is staying. and he is bleeding from MANY wounds. tells scully where he is without elaborating on the blood pouring from all over. okay skinner. you're real for that. you get that point i was tossing around back. and a bonus one, in fact.

so mulder's out on the ice, and usually him wearing a big jacket would spark joy in my heart. and i won't lie, it does a little. but there is also a LOT of tension going on, so it's very brief. feels wrong to rejoice in the simple pleasures of man in big funny coat when he just had to lose his sister and then learn it wasn't even her.

but he sees some sort of tower and he's going in!!! and a dead guy is spotted.

pause. at this point i am sitting here thinking, man, these episodes are good, definitely among the best i've seen so far. who let these men cook? can we get them back in the kitchen with more regularity?

someone is leading him deeper and deeper into the maze of this... station? sub? and i fear he is being led into a trap. but he finds a very very scared man and having a big man point a gun at him doesn't help with the fear, i'm sure. but is it really a sniveling coward... or the hit man???

and JUST as he almost had me fooled and wondering if mulder was gonna really shoot an innocent guy, BAM! hit man reveal.

mulder keeps asking where his sister is, even while being pummeled by this alien with super strength. and he says "she's alive. can you die now?"

mulder shoots at the alien and he misses the back of his neck, so his toxic blood is filling up the space, and things are not looking good at all. and the alien takes him out and drops him on the ice!!!!!

he's going to break the ice and let him freeze or hit him with the sub as it goes down, both very bad endings........

CUTSCENE TO WHERE WE BEGAN!!!!

scully is bursting in, telling this doctor that he has a virus that can only be slowed by keeping him cold, and he isn't buying it, but just as he tries to get her kicked out of the room, his heart stops, so she intervenes.

and she's calling all the shots- get 100 grams of this and that and a drip of this- and this doctor has had his shift hijacked by a better doctor. he implies that mulder might not make it, and she refuses to hear this out.

and she's.... gently stroking his hair... while this is going down........

and sitting by his bed while he's getting better...

(so are the counts for who has been in a coma now tied? justice is served)

and now she's doing the case conclusion:

"several aspects of this case remain unexplained, suggesting the possibility of paranormal phenomena" <- OHHH??? is this what makes scully a believer? are we gonna see some character changes?

"but i am convinced that to accept such conclusions is to abandon all hope of understanding the scientific events behind them" okay!!! we are getting a deeper look into her philosophy here. yes yes yes give me more. and more i was given:

"many of the things i have seen have challenged my faith and my belief in an ordered universe, but this uncertainty has only strengthened my need to know, to understand, to apply reason, to those things which seem to defy it"

and i love it. i love it so much. seeing how she understands the world, why she knows that there has to be an order to it all, and if it seems there isn't, it's just because she hasn't figured it out yet... and science did allow him to get better... the need to fight a good fight in the way she knows how... yeah... that's lovely...

and she's CRYING at his bedside and holding his arm when he finally opens his eyes. her smile. her gentle "hey". it's so innocent, seeing that he is okay, that he made it through the worst part of getting better.

"thanks for ditching me" aughhhhghhhhh.......

he says he didn't find what he was looking for, but he did find the faith to keep looking. ohhhhh. ohhhhhhh...

the way his faith was gone at the start of season 2, but now it's back, there's something worth fighting for, his sister is out there, there is a world worth figuring out..........

man.

at this point my friend was sending me texts and i was like queen i need a minute. i need a minute. to put these things in order. and honestly i STILL do!

it was an absolutely amazing duo of episodes. i truly loved the writing, seeing them pushed to the brink with each other and with themselves. seeing skinner come into fruition. seeing what motivates them both and how they see the world and how it is entirely different but still driven by hope and faith and a need to learn the truth. and the tenderness of it all. of her sleeping on his couch in his absence, thinking maybe he'll be home soon. of running her fingers through his hair while he was being revived. the fury of being blamed for the loss of his sister, the fury with which she screamed at deep throat 2.0 to tell him where he went off to, the fury of mulder realizing he had been lied to and that his sister had never come back at all. but there still being hope despite it all. because there are things worth searching for. and they can do it together.

man. it was a very good episode but your girl is gonna go watch a silly video because it definitely hit me right in the Feelings!!

[allllium]

Christmas Eve

~ I have multiple things I'm currently writing but it might take a bit before they're posted. Between being sick and now having an ear infection I want to do literally nothing

~ Fluff, WC: 1,456

~ Matt and Reader celebrate their first Christmas together ~

You and Matt didn't get together until after Christmas of last year, meaning this is your first Christmas as a couple. Before, being friends meant Christmas never had this kind of pressure to give the perfect gifts.

But now it's different. You've been worrying all month about finding the perfect gift for Matt. It's hard to shop for someone who keeps insisting all he needs is you. As sweet as that is, you already know he has something for you. You refuse to give him something in return.

“Foggy, I'm serious. I've been everywhere in Hell's Kitchen. I can't find anything.” Today is Christmas Eve, and you still haven't found anything good enough to give Matt

“I've had his gift picked out for months.” Foggy shrugs from across you.

“Of course you have, and I should have one too, but now that we're dating it feels like there's all this dumb pressure.”

“Matt will love whatever you give him. You don't even have to get him anything. Just spend the day naked, and he'll be more than happy.”

“I hate you. You are zero help.”

“You're putting too much pressure on it. Nothing has changed just because you're dating now.”

“What did you get, Marci?” 

“Some of her favorite perfume and a necklace.” 

“Ugh, she'll love that.”

“I know. She's easy to shop for.” He finishes off the rest of his sandwich and wipes his hands on his pants. “I have a meeting with a client. Are you good?”

“Yeah, I'm good. I'll figure it out. Bye Fog.” He nods at you and walks back to the office.

On the way back to Matt's apartment, you walk by a little store having a Christmas Eve sale. The best part is they have an adorable daredevil stuffie in the window.

It's exactly what you would've gotten him in the previous years. It's perfect.

“What did you get?” Matt asks the second you walk in the door. Smelling the paper bag it came in. 

You walk over to him on the couch, placing the bag on the counter, and sitting in his lap. “I can't tell you it's for Christmas.” 

“I thought I said you didn't have to get me anything.” He gives you one of those beautiful smiles he has. It's unfair how he always looks this good. He hasn't changed out of his work clothes, now just sitting in his dress pants and shirt. 

“And I thought I said if you get me something, I'm getting something for you.” You run your hand softly through his hair, enjoying his touch after a day apart.

“I don't want you to spend money on me.” 

You roll your eyes at him. “If you keep saying that I'm gonna spend all of my money on you until I go bankrupt, and then I'll be homeless.” 

“You wouldn't dare.”

“You wanna bet?” 

“Fine, you can spend as much money as you want on me.” He looks so cute when he pouts.

“That's what I thought.” You lean down to kiss him for the first time since you got home. “Hi, Matty.” 

“Hi, sweetheart.”

“How was work?” You turn your head to lay on his shoulder.

“It was good. It's a lot slower close to Christmas.” 

“Hm, good. Y’know, Foggy suggested I spend tomorrow naked as your Christmas present, but you definitely wouldn't like that.” You giggle as his face turns up in fake disgust.

“Oh no, that would be terrible. I wouldn't enjoy that at all.”

“Yeah, that's what I thought.”

“Or maybe that's my gift to you.” 

“Oh no, can't both be naked. What would we do all day?” You ask in fake concern. He leans up to kiss you again, but you pull away. “I have to go wrap your present.” 

“No, do you have to do that right now?” He pouts.

“Yes, I do. You're adorable when you pout.” When you go to stand, he follows you with an arm around your waist.

“Can't it wait?” 

“No, it can't. Christmas is tomorrow. Matthew let me go.” You use his real name to display your seriousness, although it's not as effective when you're laughing.

“You don't have to wrap. I can't see it anyway.” 

“Matt!” You laugh. “I'm wrapping it, and you can't stop me. So why don't you stay here and order us some dinner? Okay?”

“Fine, I'll just stay here all alone.” He plops back on the couch as you shake your head at him. 

“Have I ever told you how dramatic you are?”

“All the time.”

“Yeah, I'll be right back.” You go into the bedroom to wrap Matt's present in leftover wrapping paper. Matt has no idea people have made anything daredevil-related. 

“See, that took me like two minutes.” You announce to Matt as you walk back into the living room.

“That was way too long.” You move to sit with him once again.

“Why are you so clingy today?”

“No reason, it must be the Christmas spirit.”

“Hmm, yeah, this Christmas does have a lot of spirit.”

“The first Christmas after we met, I was gonna ask you out.” You turn to look at him in disbelief. 

“What? Why didn't you?” 

“I was nervous, and you didn't show any signs of liking me.”

“No signs of liking you!? Matt, you could hear my heart.” 

“I could, but I assumed it sped up like that because you were anxious about meeting a new person.”

“And you thought I was like that for two years?”

“I didn't want to ruin anything!” He defends. “Hey, why didn't you do anything!?”

“Because I didn't want to ruin anything!?” 

“Exactly!” You both laugh at the direction this conversation has taken.

“Well, we're together now, so it was all worth it.” You point out.

“Yes, it was.” He smiles and pulls you closer. Your head lays on his chest.

“Wait a minute, Matt, I told Karen I liked you multiple times while you could hear?” 

“Maybe it was a different Matt.” 

“Matt, what the fuck?” You laugh again. 

“I liked you. I just didn't believe you liked me the same amount.”

“You liked me?” 

“Yes, I liked you, now I love you.” 

“You're lucky you're so sweet 'cause sometimes you have no common sense.” He plants a kiss on your forehead.

“You have just as much common sense as me.” 

“Uh oh.”

You wake up the next morning to the smell of peppermint and the faint sound of Christmas music filling the apartment. 

“Morning, sweetheart.” He comes into the room with a mug of hot chocolate. He hands the mug to you as he sits next to you on the bed. 

“Good morning, baby. What's all this for?”

“Well, it's our first Christmas together. I figured it should be a little special.” As you listen to him, your heart warms.

“Thank you, Matty. You're amazing y'know.”

“I do, thanks to you.” 

“Hm, good. So what do you have planned?” You sit up in bed.

“I think first we should open our gifts, then we'll hang out with everyone.” 

“Sounds good. You're going to love what I got you.”

“You're gonna love mine too.” He grabs your hands and pulls you out of bed. 

You both make your way to the tiny Christmas tree sitting in the corner. Only two presents under it.

“Here you go, honey.” Matt hands you a small square box wrapped in red paper. “I had Karen wrap it.” 

“I can tell. Karen also wraps presents perfectly.” When you pull the paper off the box, there's a black jewelry box. When you open the black box, there is a silver bracelet. “Matt, this is beautiful!” 

“Look at the side.” You pull the bracelet out of the box and look at the side. On each side, there is an engraving. One side says ‘my heart,’ and the other is in braille. “It says my name.” 

“Holy shit Matt this is amazing!” You throw yourself onto him in a tight hug. 

“I'm glad you like it.” He has a giant smile at your reaction. 

“I don't want you to spend money on me.” You mock his words from last night. “This must have cost so much.”

“I know a guy, don't worry.”

“Well, now my gift isn't as good in comparison.” You hand him the box containing the stuffie.

“Is this me?” He asks in surprise as he rips open the paper. 

“Yes, it is. It's Daredevil merch.” 

“They make this stuff?” 

“Yes.” You laugh at his shock 

“Thank you, sweetheart, this is so cute.” 

“Yeah, and it looks just like you.” You joke. The little stuffed devil looks nothing like Matt.

“Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Matt.” You lean your head on his shoulder, still admiring your bracelet.

[lokisis]

Scuttles back in

AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT SPAMTON

There's so many little details I just love that no one really talks about. Like he definitely knows about his own songs, either because he made them, or he's aware of/already broken the 4th wall. And EITHER option is fucking hilarious. Like yeah I'm aware big shot is a banger, get destroyed with it stuck in your head [little slime].

And also the computer room doesn't have any windows, so how did he see the sun? And it's definitely the sun because he knows about clouds too and they're not in the library. Does that mean dark crystal can show... anything? The implication that dark crystals might just show darkners what they WANT to see, what they CRAVE from the light world, is insane. But Kris only sees the computer lab, which brings up the other, sadder, possibility:

Spamton didn't see the sun at all. It was just the lights inside the computer lab.

Either way, it's so fucked up. Not to mention everyone pegs him as a very... snippy quick to anger kind of guy. Which isn't true at all. The only time he gets visibly upset is when you spam the big shot during Neo. Which is explained by him already being jealous you can do it. But that's in Neo. As regular Spam, he's... pretty neutral actually. Other than the 1 time he takes his frustration out on the dumpster, (which, considering Kris was right there, is a surprising show of restraint. He could've easily started the fight with them right then. Like 90% of the other monsters) he's amicable to Kris up until his last desperate attempt at freedom.

Hell, he realizes what's happening to Kris almost immediately, and starts the battle specifically to see their soul. He even starts the fight with "HEY HEY HEY! IVE NEVER SEEN A [HeartShapedObject] LIKE THAT BEFORE!! MY EYES ARE [[Burning]] LIKE [[DVDs of ANY movie at Half-pr1ce!]] I HAVE A VERY SPECIL [Deal] FOR YOU KID!"

Idk, maybe it's just my bad reading comprehension, but even the stuff that's shouted seems to just be... idk.. like he doesn't actually mean it. Lighthearted jabs. Like if someone yelled at me, "WHAT??? BUT YOU WERE SO CLOSE!!!" while trying to hit a certain number to buy something, I would probably laugh. He's very in your face about stuff, but that's not really a surprise. He's a pushy salesman. You ever encountered one before?

I just. Think he's misinterpreted a lot as like.. super malicious. He's just a salesman. The sale, of course, is something you would never find in stores. But it is a sales pitch, at the end of the day. Something you can't say no to, except that he never forces you to go to his store, never appears again if you don't, and doesn't even get upset if you do Everything else first. Choices choices choices.

Do you think he was ever given one?

[housederiva]

Hello! Hope all is well, I wanted to ask what do you think is best to do about Da:tv? Considering the layoffs and like, Initially i wanted to wait a couple of weeks after release, specially after the catastrophe of everything about The Sims 4, Da:tv feels like its going down the same path? Like both games owned by EA that where too many years in development hell, first being made as multiplayer then burned to the ground and made again, much of the previous lore ignored, Da:tv will probably be also patched to hell and back like ts4.

Unfortunatly with all this said i think I will buy the game anyway, not pre-order! But still buying it, because truth be told, even if its garbage i will enjoy it, as much as i enjoyed the Sims 4, but i still wanted to hear your thoughts!

Like, maybe romance Lucanis as my first playthrough? Im sure EA/bioware have player stats and if the most romanced companion is by someone you laid off... I don't really know where Im going with this, Im not too knowledgeable, but i would like that Mary Kirby to be properly compensated :(

Dear listener I'm on a midnight train going nowhere (though i did sign the lease to move into a house in my favorite beach town this morning so maybe the train is flipping a sick Uie) a general rule of thumb I've seen is to wait a few days after a AAA launch for the first patch to come out or to see if it's playable in the first place...But Veilguard did have that giant player event earlier this month and all the bugs I could see were folds in fabric and hair clipping (though those folks were playing on optimized pc's) and BW has mentioned a few times that they're trying to not repeat Andromeda

Regardless if you preorder the game or not, Steam takes 30% of your payment. Speaking as someone who works in production, I know that devs/crew get paid either weekly or monthly for the work they've already done and will do until their contacts end from funds that have already been allocated to their payrolls. The vast majority of BioWare's crew, the people who actively coded and worked on Veilguard, will see none of the money from any sales, preorder or otherwise. AAA sales line EA ceo pockets, not that of the people we care about. Which sucks but that's the way it is. (if a BW crew member sees this please feel free to correct me if I'm mistaken)

This is a bit from a Eurogamer article if you want to read more into the logistic of where your money goes

I'm not preordering Veilguard out of personal preference, and while I know my money is still going to the people who laid of Marry and a bunch of other folks with no warning, I feel better withholding my contribution until Halloween

But yeah, I think it'd be a bitter-sweetness if Lucanis becomes the fan favorite romance just like how Varric is the favorite BW is squeezing the blood out of until there's nothing left. They can't repeat that same shade of success a third time. I want her legacy to be a ghost that haunts whoever made the call and when the round of obligatory congratulations goes around, there's a deafening silence when if they purposely leave out her name. Regardless, Marry's already been paid for all the work she did on Veilguard and now it's the recognition I'm worried about.

I don't know if the folks who got laid off's correct severance pay got resolved though, last I checked 14 were suing the company about this time last year

[fushiglow]

am i the only one who still thinks megumi is coming back???

let's talk about the 230 leaks!! once again, satoru proved he's him and i never doubted him for a second, but every week more and more people seem to lose hope for megumi and i feel like i'm on another planet?? maybe i'm just coping, but i think there are more signs in 230 that he isn't down and out yet:

gojo is visibly concerned when megumi tanks unlimited void. why would he care if he wasn't trying to save him? yeah yeah, water is wet, but lots of people have been worried about this. clearly, gojo hasn't given up on megumi yet, and he's way smarter and stronger than me!! so, if gojo hasn't given up, neither have i.

we see megumi for the first time in ten chapters!!!! sure, he's not looking too hot right now, but as long as we can see him, he isn't gone (he's still in fetal position so he's gonna get his maki moment, trust!!)

we also see megumi's soul, or at least gojo does. the visual when he realises that megumi took the hit is very similar to the visual from the 'my soul knows otherwise' moment in shibuya. there are two orbs this time — presumably the larger one is sukuna and the smaller one is megumi — but again, i think that as long as gojo can see his soul, sukuna hasn't succeeded in sinking it.

gojo's last line in the chapter is a direct reference to the first time he fought sukuna in front of, you guessed it, megumi!! i don't know whether it's a message from gojo to megumi or a message from gege to the readers, but gege never self-references by accident. was it just a little 'hang in there' to megumi, or are we gonna see some of the beats from the first fight play out again??? 👀

a couple of thematic things which i think work in megumi's favour too:

seeing the smiling faces of gojo's students getting behind him RIGHT before sukuna starts thinking about love and strength and solitude feels kinda 'power of love and friendship' to me. maybe gojo isn't as alone as he thought and perhaps that's the edge he has over sukuna OR sukuna is about to pull out whatever yorozu gave him... or perhaps what tsumiki gave megumi????

on that note, i really didn't get what gojo said about megumi's soul adapting to the 'process' of unlimited void rather than the effect. we'll have to wait for the translations but, knowing gege, it's probably ambiguous on purpose. however, it's yet more crumbs about the whole body/soul connection. the fact that sukuna didn't expect it to affect the brain of the body he's occupying is very interesting, no????

look, gojo said he's gonna take care of things, so he's GONNA TAKE CARE OF THINGS 😤 (god i hope i'm not clowning)

i think this chapter beats 229 as my favourite of the fight so far though. i know some people are bored of this arc, but i've really enjoyed the unpredictability of it. i will concede that the cliffhangers have felt a bit icky at times, but i'm not gonna blame that on gege. at the end of the day, they want sales.

i'm giving up guessing what's gonna happen week-by-week though, because gege just keeps throwing curveballs. i think it's safer to stick to broader predictions based on the themes already established, because it feels like they're increasingly coming to the forefront.

anyway, this actually started out as an essay about gojo's character before i decided i really wanted to talk about megumi. guess i'll post that tomorrow because 230 has got me feeling FEELINGS about this man. with tomorrow's episode on top of that, it's a hell of a week to be a gojo stan!!

[quitealotofsodapop]

I wanna introduce y'all to an oc/story concept I've had for a while now.

Oc created using the "Bright's Picrew Hell" since I am terrible at drawing.

Basically its a parody and deconstruction of an Isekai story - aka "character is teleported/reincarnated into another world" (for example KonoSuba, That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime, Digimon etc.)

The main character of this idea is Sekai Ishida; a gloomy shut-in with cerebral palsy and spinal bifida who's dealing with having aged out of the foster system and finding supports for his disability. Sekai was minding his own business going to career training when;

Sekai, being physically disabled, is unable to climb out of the way of a speeding subway car when he stumbles (or was tripped) onto the tracks. He closes his eyes.

He awakens to find himself dumped through a portal to a magical fantasy world.

When the many gods greeting him in the space between worlds ask him if he wishes for a boon to bring with him into this new life; Sekai impulsively replies "Give me back my crutches."

Well shit now he's just some Japanese guy with severe mobility issues in a dnd-inspired medieval kingdom with no fighting experience or magical add-on. What's a guy to do?

Wormwood; an Aberrant demon looking for a host: "

Wormwood: "Hey you wanna-" Sekai, already fed-up: "Whatever, sure." (*shakes hand*) Wormwood: "Damn, ok. Didn't even need a sales pitch." Workwood: (*painfully merges into Sekai's body*) Wormwood: "...damn bitch, you live like this?" Sekai: "Yeah." Wormwood: "I can't even look into parts of your brain." Sekai: "Yeah those don't work." Wormwood: "Screw this, I'm finding another off-worlder for my plans." (*nothing happens*) Wormwood: "...why can't I leave?" Sekai: "HAH! You're trapped in here with me!" Wormwood, tentacles waving frantically: "I can't even move your legs!" Sekai, gestures to crutches, laughing manically: "Neither can I!" Wormwood: "You are evil."

So now Sekai has one thing going for him; an inky symbiote-esque demon thats trapped in his body that's pretty keen on keeping Sekai alive. For now.

Also, you know how the demon mentioned "off-worlders"?

Yeah. Sekai isn't the only one.

It's a frequent phenomena in the magical kingdom, to the point that there are new laws in place to deal with people that fall through.

Notably:

Report immediately to the King.

Surrender all technology and/or organics to the crown.

Any accompanying animals will be quarantined or destroyed.

If it looks like nothing fell out of a portal hole - no it didn't. Evacuate the area immediately.

Off-Worlders should avoid making deals with spirit and/or demons, as they are an untapped source of raw magical life force (Sekai: "Oops"), and can cause the world around them to glitch and break down since they're essentially aliens.

Its not always human either. Dogs, cats, birds, and trilobites frequently wander/fall in. Imagine the utter terror of villagers used to dragon when they see a saltwater crocodile for the first time.

It's not always humans or organic things that fall in though. Like in Digimon where a subway car or a fridge full of eggs would randomly glitch in.

The ultimate common denominator is people and things that have experienced "glitches in the matrix"-style disappearances and have just... disappeared back in their home time/dimension. Oh yeah, people from completely different cultures and universes can fall through too.

Sekai (and his tag-along wormwood) occassionally fall into other universes due to Wormwood's own research into interdimensional travel. It was the very reason he sought out a host - someone proven to be able to handle the trip. Sekai hates this. HATES THIS. Let him have junk food and video games again!

[ctimenefic]

So @strawberry-daiquiris wrote an incredible F1 Traitors AU (seriously, go read it) and was kind enough to let me paddle around in the Galex end of the pool.

Many thanks to @latecomersprivilege, for whom this is a belated birthday gift, an almost on time Valentine's gift, and ultimately not what she asked for but what she's getting!

It’s a month since the last episode aired and George hasn’t messaged him.

Oh, he’s in the group chat - he’s the admin of the group chat. He’s posting memes, even the ones about himself, nearly every day. Asking very sincerely after people’s partners, their kids. Adding little crying laughing emojis to almost all the jokes. (Almost all - never Alex’s. Not even once. Which. Come on. Checo’s not even that funny.)

So. Yeah, it’d been bad, at the end, at their last round table together, George damp eyed and smiling through it and Alex nearly fumbling his own defence trying to tell him one more time “it’s just a game”.

But. Like. Not so bad as to cancel out everything else. Or at least, Alex had thought so. Hoped so.

It’s been a month.

Hey just wondering if we shd have a coffee or smthg? Clear the air?

Sure. When?

Nxt wk? Peckham?

(George told him all about his little flat in Dulwich, how he properly loved all the twee village-y shit like the wooden sign-posts and bougie cafes, in their murmured conversations in the hotel corridors, heads ducked together and voices low. Alex had taken the piss, but so softly he’d barely recognised his own cadence. That- that had been the first clue, before he’d started noticing how George’s adams apple bobbed when he got loud.

But Dulwich is packed to the brim with Traitors fans, has to be, all middle class mums and families that gather round the telly of an evening to actually spend time together. They’d be spotted in seconds. So Peckham feels safer, crowded and anonymous and too fucking cool to pay attention if Alex has to get on his knees and beg George to- to-)

The cafe’s still a bit posh, which means it’s basically deserted. George is wearing the kind of T-shirt that only fits that well because it’s expensive.

He’s ordered tea already, and Alex wants to remind him to drink up, like he did at breakfast every morning, because George would always get too into their conversation to finish before it got cold. He’d slug it back anyway, wincing, and Alex would pretend to ignore the line of his throat.

“I’m sorry you didn’t win,” George blurts. “I know I- I didn’t help, I know, but after, I did want it to be you. You’d worked so hard.”

Alex stares at him. “I never thought I would. Maybe near the end, a bit, but. Well. I got lucky.”

George pulls a face. “Come on, you were brilliant at it. So convincing. I really thought I’d find out you were, like, an actor or something.”

George smiles at that, small and tight. “Oh, yeah, the office have been so weird about it. Saying they didn't watch, and then making jokes that prove they did. I've stopped paying attention to it.”

Alex tries to laugh, like it’s a joke. Like he hadn’t talked George’s ear off about the practice. How he’d use the money, if they won - as Faithful - to get back to his veterinary degree, properly qualify. “Nah, still at my old place. They’ve, uh, let me take the backroom stuff for a bit, while it dies down.”

Alex nods. Pretends George has got better at lying. “Hope they're not being nasty.”

“Oh, not too bad.” The ‘too’ makes Alex want to snarl, set his teeth in someone's neck. Bastards. And George's blasé tone runs a little thin as he goes on. “Might quit, actually, try the influencer thing for a bit. It's basically the same as sales, just, you know. Different product.”

“You'd be good at that,” Alex tries. “Influential. I'd be, uh, influenced.” In the time it takes George to blink three times, Alex experiences all nine levels of hell and a few more added just for him.

I'd be influenced. Christ.

“How are you doing with that, sponsorships and stuff?” George asks and Alex shrugs. He’s got his fans, the ones who think he was robbed, rather than bottled it. His Insta’s big, now, not millions but, like, decent. Marketable. Problem is, he isn’t.

“Turns out, being known as a really good liar doesn’t get loads of hashtag spon ops,” he says, trying to keep it light. Like money hadn’t been the whole point. George’s face falls, the first unrehearsed expression Alex has seen all morning.

“Oh crikey, I’m sorry, I didn’t- cause it’s been alright, and I was a traitor too, at the end so-”

“Yeah, but I forced you into it, didn’t I? I’m the bad guy.” There’s a decent TikTok edit of him to that Billie Eilish song, all his smiles and laughs and fond looks, set to the beat of sociopathy. It’s very slick; turned his stomach on the second watch. “Plus, you know, you look like that, which probably helps.”

He knows it’s been more than alright for George. He hasn’t liked any of his Instagram posts, too… proud? ashamed? But he’s seen them all, including the Stories, so George must know he’s been there. Or maybe he doesn’t, maybe there’s hundreds of people, and they’re not mutuals, he remembers abruptly. George didn’t follow him back.

He flips his phone in his hands, once, twice; worries at the crack in the screen down by the bottom right corner, just enough to feel the scrape against the pad of his thumb.

George notices, of course. Those big blue eyes, all the better for spotting clues. Terrible at knowing what they meant. “Do you wanna take a picture for insta then? Show people it’s all water under the bridge?”

“Uh, not really? I mean…” it doesn’t feel under the bridge, or air cleared. Alex still feels like he’s choking on it.

That small wrinkle he used to make fun of appears between George’s brows. “Wasn’t that the point of this?”

“Jesus, no, I’m not-” Alex feels sick, properly sick, hot chocolate coming back on him for a second. “I wanted to be friends - I want to be friends. Again.”

“Again,” George repeats, after a beat.

Alex swallows. Presses the tip of his tongue against the edge of his front teeth, where they turn sharp enough to cut, like a bit of pain now will soothe the sucking void where his stomach used to be. “Right, no, of course. Forget it, look, I'll get these and-”

George catches his wrist before he can make a break for it. His thumb lands in the soft spot between the tendons, where Alex’s pulse beats - ha - traitorously fast.

“Wait. You haven't told me how your mum is. And your sisters. And Luca, obviously, and the cats.”

“The cats?”

“Yeah, obviously. Can't go before I hear about the cats, ‘Lex. All of them. So you should probably, um, sit back down.”

So he does.

[kirby-the-gorb]

reply roundup!

man apparently these are still hard even when I'm not Literally Dying anymore :v

the sad sale went great, thank you for all the support everyone <3 I bought shelves and makeup and paper star papers and stickers and a new blanket, plus it's helping cover my allowance until my wife starts getting paid. I am already thinking I might do another sale in november just for fun lol

my wife has started orientation at her program and she's having a great time, our partner and I are gonna go down to visit her in a couple weeks :) I also finished rearranging all my furniture now that her furniture isn't here and it only made me terribly ill once!

I am really enjoying everyone singing along on [live and learm], I love enthusiasm <3

on [stars] @korattata said: HEY THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING ALL DAY!!!!! i just started learning last night! its a nice break at work to stop looking at the computer screen. they all still look a bit wonky and i think one of the sheets of paper is too thick but i'm just using paper i got from the supply closet and cut with the paper cutter lol

aw that's so cool! the ones that are like actually packaged for making paper stars are usually a bit thinner than printer paper, like other origami paper, but that also means they tear a lot more easily in the first step if you're not careful, so it's always a tradeoff. what a fun coincidence :>

on [hallway] @thesilentpotato said: the first thing i thought of was the "da dee la da dee la da" krabby patty zoom in scene from spongebob

lol I hadn't thought of that until you said it but you're so right (she is referencing [this scene] from the krusty krab training video for anyone unfamiliar)

(side note thank you to folks who put pronouns in easily findable places so I can refer to you correctly even if I don't know you <3 )

on [birthday] @joekingv1 said: *asks baby what gifts they received and if they would like to read/watch Komi Can't Communicate*

I never really got into komi because one of the side characters really squicks me out, but I have a friend that really loves it, so maybe they've watched it with her! I think they probably got to go somewhere fun for their birthday like a theme park or a zoo, and get a souvenir plush while they were there -u-

on [sheep] @ceylonsilvergirl [added] a different line for kirby, which I still think about regularly lol

on [pills] @minty-spice said: op i hope your health improves and your empire of pills eventually shrinks

thank you <3 honestly I'd be happy with just the first one, I don't mind all the pills so much as long as they're actually helping.

on [crackers] @amatsuki said: made a bunch of cold noodles today with cucumber carrot chicken & sesame peanut soy sauce. the only actual cooking i had to do was boil water and steam chicken

oh hell yeah cold noodles are a fantastic example of a basic food to go feral over. now I want noodles too.........

on [thinking] @adrawrable said: hope you're cozy op

not right now as I type this because it is Computer Work Time, but in general I am So Cozy these days, I have a whole queen bed to myself so it's full of big stuffed animals and fluffy blankets :) (tbh even once my wife moves back here we may just all have individual beds we all seem very comfy this way lol)

on [slam] @jeaniechibi said: we'll be right back ➡️ shshgdtsudtdidh why is every bit of art with a blurr effect so damn funny 🤣

it truly is, I love a thoughtfully applied motion blur (or perspective blur can be funny too) (altho tbh I don't use the perspective blur tool for those I just use separate layers and gaussian blur) (for anyone unfamiliar this is a reference to the eric andre show meme)

on [beehive] @galacticnova3 said: me @ wasp nests minus the frowning, little fellas doing their little fella activities. sometimes they squabble. the thinking man’s reality tv drama

true, true, gotta love little fella activities. personally I feel better observing from a safe distance, but we had a lot of wasps around my childhood home and I didn't really know how to get friendlier than not actively making them mad lol

anonymous asked: That profile is amazing

for some reason I don't feel like I understand, but thank you!

on [sale] @milkymoon-ramblings said: gahh why do so many people have so many cool probducts, the queers are tempting me with their cool swag. however I need to save money for my own cool swag (digital art)

I just love the phrase "the queers are tempting me with their cool swag", so relatable lol (also no worries to anyone who couldn't or didn't want to buy anything, it's not like I needed it to pay bills I just wanted treats :v )

on [solstice] @jaune-chat said: Definitely, the sun can fuck right off. I break into a rash if I get too much sun, and I can't walk outside without full body coverage to some degree or be itching for WEEKS! In order of preference, is fall, winter, spring, summer.

oof yeah my mom gets a bad rash from sun exposure too! I'm fortunate to not have that specific symptom, but dang it seems so inconvenient, especially if you're also sensitive to heat so being covered up puts you at additional risk. personally I rate winter a little higher than fall but otherwise yeah total agreement lol

on [rollerskates] @nexus-nebulae said: @ prev tags i used to daydream constantly about being able to roller skate everywhere because i would constantly think 'rolling would be way easier than dragging my feet everywhere rn' and it took me two months of constantly thinking about that before i realised OH i need a ROLLATOR that would help (<- i am not smart) i haven't actually tried roller skating bc i don't own skates but i have used a skateboard briefly and that also feels better than walking. i wonder.... if the roller skating rink nearby would allow me to use a rollator in the rink with skates on........ probably not lmao

honestly it takes so much to actually realize like "oh a mobility aid might help with this" which is like, a bad thing, but we're just gonna focus on the funny part for now happy disability pride month :v and tbh I think maybe they might let you do it??? cuz like at ice skating rinks they usually have those little penguins or just straight up plastic lawn chairs for people to support themselves on, so I don't think it would be that crazy to go out on the rollarink with a rollator? but also that's just me and I do not run the place or get paid minimum wage to keep people from breaking the place sooo lol

[huffle-dork]

Glitch into the Hufflverse Chapter 13: Curiousity Killed the Cat

Read Swapboys | Read Crystal’s AUs | Read CKTC | Read The Magnificent Series | Read Glitched Mind

Read SITCV | Read SATCV | GITHV Masterpost

Marvin, Jackieboy, Jackie, JJ and Bro all appear in a cooperate looking office space- a big wooden table with office chairs right in the middle. The surface is filled with magic books and trinkets and gadgets in various states of repair.

"Hmm." Jackie looks around. "Nice place, I guess."

Jackieboy strides in and calls out, "Chaseee! You here?"

There's a groan and then another man in a dark gray hat and gray shirt rolls out on a desk chair into the hallway. "Jackie I keep telling you this space isn’t rented for you all to have a second place to-" He then blinks in surprise at the new men. "...what the hell?"

JJ gives a cheerful wave. Hello! It's nice to meet you.

"This is pretty confusing for you, huh?" Jackie says. "Well, hello. Your friends said that you were Chase. Nice to meet you. I'm Jackie and JJ and this is Chase. We're from another universe. And yeah, that sounds absurd, but it's true." He's getting pretty tired of explaining this over and over. How did Alt and Bro handle it on all their adventures?

“You got the sales pitch down pat, Jackie, nice.” Bro laughs.

Chase looks freaked out and looks at Marvin and Jackieboy in confusion. Jackieboy just shrugs, “I’m not sure I get it either- they don’t even know what being an ego means.”

“I’m messaging Hen and Jamie right now,” Marvin says, already clicking on his phone. “Trying to offer them a portal-“

“Okayyy uh- nice to meet you too, everyone?” Chase says timidly. He gets up then pushes his chair into the room and strides over, messing with his hair, “…you guys sure this isn’t just some weird dream?”

Jackieboy pinches Chase and the father yelps in equal parts pain and surprise. Then he glares at Jackieboy while the latter just grins. “What? Now you know it’s not a dream!”

"Yeah, we don't know what the hell an ego is!" Jackie says, exasperated.

Well, an ego is a thing in psychology, JJ says thoughtfully. Apparently it depends on which practice you're talking about, though. Don't ask me the details, I'm not the one in my world with a psych minor.

"I don't think they're talking about psychology when they call us that, though," Jackie points out.

I'm just saying, it could help explain things if we knew, JJ says. I think... it means... personality? Generally? Like, alter egos.

"Alter egos is the closest thing," Marvin says looking up from his phone. "But it's... complicated. I guess this is the best time to explain." He snaps and appears on the table, sitting cross-legged.

"I dunno how it works where you are... and its weird to think of it differently for us. But we're... figments.  Facets of our creator, Jacksepticeye's, mind. He created us and... we don't know how but now we... exist on our own. We don't have memories or lives before we were made- just a purpose that Jack gave us when he made us. But... he's also letting us figure out who we are as our own people. And in all sense and purposes... we are just as much human as anyone else... except that our life forces and power depend on Jack and our popularity with his fans."

Jackie and JJ stare at Marvin as he speaks, eyes getting wider. ...well then, JJ finally says. That's... strange.

"Y-yeah, that's not a thing where we're from!" Jackie says. He glances at JJ and Bro. "I mean, we're all from different places but I'm assuming that's the thing. How it 'works' where I'm from is that I'm like—an actual human being who wasn't spontaneously birthed from someone's mind v—"

Hey, just because they were created a different way doesn't mean they're not human! JJ interrupts. Marvin just went out of the way to say that they are!

"Okay yeah sure but like—my life force doesn't depend on my Jack, or on anyone else's!" Jackie protests. "I like—grew up! I had a childhood! I went to school! I made friends!"

Bro looks similarily freaked out, "Y-Yeah I... I remember growin up with my brother! I-I went to Uni- I... this is all insane...!" 

"I always wondered what uni would be like- or knowing what it was like to be a kid," Jackieboy muses with a light laugh. 

Jackie, Bro please calm down, JJ says, getting closer to Jackie. Take deep breaths.

"I'm not some fucking creation!” Jackie’s voice cracks. “A-and if it turned out I was, I would—I would kill whoever decided my life was gonna turn out this way!"

You don't mean that! JJ says, stunned.

Jackie deflates a little. "No, I-I don't. Especially if my life depended on them. But I would—I would at least beat them up a little." He absentmindedly brushes his eye-patch, disguising it as adjusting his hair.

JJ looks at him sympathetically, and sighs. I'm sure that in this world, Jack doesn't actually control these guys. He just... made them. You know?

"Yeah Jack doesn't control us- he just... vibes really. He used to watch over us more but..." Jackieboy says quietly.

"...Anti put him in a coma. He's been asleep for a long time." Chase adds, looking sad.

"Some of us he gives more attention to- some of us less. ...we have a bit more freedom now but- He never really sat around and bossed us around." Marvin says with a shrug.

JJ's eyes widen. Oh... I'm sorry about that.

"C-coma?" Jackie's eyes widen. "I... guess that's sort of like what's going on with Jack in my world..." But honestly he thinks his Jack has it worse. He shakes his head, putting the situation out of his mind. "How are you not freaking out about this like Bro and I are, JJ?"

Well... it's another difference between worlds, JJ says. In this one, people have the ability to... create other people. It's... very bizarre to think about, but there must be stranger worlds out there.

"Yeah- just cuz we're created here doesn't invalidate your experiences," Marvin tries to say gently.

"That's why we all look so similar though," Chase says, "Cuz technically we're all... based on the same guy, you know?"

"S'why I like to think we're like brothers- even if we aren't!" Jackieboy grins. "Though I guess if you guys are... us in other universes... that would explain why you look the same. S'like a comic book!"

"Of course that's how you rationalize it, Jackie." Marvin laughs.

JJ blinks. I suppose... It was always a bit strange how we all looked similar. The only two who are related in my world are Jack and Anti, they're cousins. Why did the rest of us look like each other?

"Oh fuck, Anti!" Jackie snaps to attention. "Okay so you guys probably know about Anti, right? He was in that shop we appeared in, a-and he took two of our friends away—Schneep and Alt. Judging by your reactions earlier, this Anti is bad. W-we have to figure out where he took them. Can you guys help?"

The rest of them all stiffen at the mention of Anti.

"Ah fuck right- course Anti stuck his nose in this..." Chase grumbles.

"Anti is notoriously hard to track down..." Marvin sighs, "He usually goes into electronics or a pocket dimension so we can't find him... What are your friends like? ...he might..."

"...maybe we shouldn't scare them, Marv..." Jackieboy says quietly.

"Hey. Other me. Look. Listen." Jackie looks directly in Jackieboy's eyes. "I think it's better if we know how fucked up your Anti is. I can't promise we won't be freaked out, especially if he wants to do some shit to Alt and Schneep, but it's never a good idea to go in blind."

We've dealt with a lot, JJ says, if that helps.

Jackieboy sighs heavily and crosses his arms, "... he's hurt us a lot. He's trying to... find new way to make puppets... especially if they're powerful like Marv."

Bro goes pale, his eyes widening, "...no...!"

Marvin looks away and holds his arms, "... w-we can do our best to help you find them but..u-until they're back out in the world... i-it's impossible to find them."

JJ blinks, color draining from his face. There's no way to get into his pocket realm?

“He controls it completely…” Marvin says timidly. “He’s.. much more powerful than us. He’s connected to Jack.. they’re like - half of each other.”

"Fucking puppets!" Jackie throws his hands in the air. "Why's there always someone who does mind control shit?! Why is that a constant?!"

“Constant? You’ve been to other places huh? God… even outside of here people like us deal with that…” Chase sighs.

Jackieboy grips his arms, “It’s probably cuz of Anti. That’s his thing. Mind control- making puppets. If other things like him exist where you are all… that need for control probably follows.”

"Bro here's been to more worlds than me and JJ," Jackie says, gesturing to him. "But... from what I've seen... a lot of mind control stuff." He laughs dryly. "I guess we can include 'bitch who wants to control shit' in our list of things to expect in other worlds. Though... in my world, that guy is human. Just with some strong magic."

Not in mine. JJ shakes his head. Distorter was human once, but not anymore.

Bro sighs heavily, "Yeah it's... god I thought most of the time it was just because Mag was around but... guess not. Magnificent is a bit of... both? He's not... really human anymore.. but my Jackie says he once was..." he says, holding his arm. "But yeah- Mag is another... control freak to put it way mildly."

The egos look sympathetic and nod, "I'm sorry you all... that must be hard." Marvin says quietly. "We... all know what that feels like."

"Marv more than anyone-" Jackieboy grumbles.

"Yeah... I bet you guys do." Jackie nods.

Then, there's a burst of tealish magic in the corner and two people appear out of it. Well- one is dragging the other.

"Jamie- I swear! I have a lot of paperwork to do I do not have time for-!" A man dressed in mint green scrubs and a white coat says. Then, he looks up and his jaw drops. "...mein gott-"

The other man looks just like JJ- same mustache in a blue vest and white dress shirt with a black bowtie on and a bowler hat. He blinks and then smiles happily and waves. Oh hello all! This is... so strange- but also exciting! He signs. 

JJ smiles and waves back. Hello! It is very exciting, isn't it? Always good to meet someone new, especially when that person is you.

Jackie laughs a little. "Alright, we're gonna zoom through the explanations. I'm Jackie, this is JJ, and this is Chase—or Bro. We're from other universes, we're not fucking... creations or whatever you guys are in this world. We have two friends, Alt and Schneep, who got caught by your Anti."

JJ shakes his head. Not giving them much time to process, are you?

"I just want everyone to be on the same page."

The doctor and other JJ blink slowly- processing the information.

"...that was a lot of information to process in 30 seconds..." The doctor mutters.

Other JJ giggles- or makes the motion of giggling by covering his mustache with his hand as his shoulders shake. Hello! I'm Jameson- this is Henrik.

"Dr. Henrik Von Schneeplestein," the doctor says grumpily.

Don't mind him. He doesn't like being interrupted during his work. But I figured this was important. Jameson signs.

JJ nods, giggling a little. Oh, my Schneep is the same way—though he's not a doctor, he takes his 'work' seriously.

"I am... fascinated how you managed to travel universes to get here... but besides that I do not know how I can be of assistance.." Henrik sighs.

"Oh yeah- how did you all get here anyways? We just found you in Phantom's shop." Jackieboy asks.

"Well... there are these weird rifts that open up," Jackie says. "They only suck in the five of us, but... yeah, they take the five of us to a new world." He shakes his head. "I don't really understand it, honestly. Apparently they're a new thing?"

I think Alt said something about them appearing after he and Chase here went to another world and lost their device to control their travels, JJ recalls.

"Yeah- me and my brother Alt we... we used to travel more using a machine we got from a place called IRIS but it broke... and afterwards the rifts have been showing up and just dumping us random places." Bro explains.

"Huh... that is... unusual..." Henrik mumbles. "I mean... in theory it makes sense. Wormholes are usually random phenoniums but we're trying to figure out how to predict them... perhaps its the same principle."

“Maybe?” Jackie mumbles. “I don’t know anything about any of this, to be honest. I just wanna get home. But looks like we can’t do that for a while, so we should focus on finding our friends who Anti took.”

Your other friends already told us some about your Anti, JJ says, jerking his head towards Jackieboy, Marvin, and Chase. Apparently we can’t find our friends while they’re in his pocket realm.

Oh... yes I've heard as much.... maybe they will... turn up soon? Jameson tries to sign hopefully, giving them a sympathetic smile.

"Yes... hopefully not too... corrupted." Henrik says quietly.

JJ shudders. He doesn’t like the implications of ‘corrupted’ at all.

Jackieboy suddenly jolts and goes to pull out his phone from his pocket. His eyes widen. Then, he sprints to look outside the window. "uhhh guys?? .. I think we have a problem..."

“Problem? What kind of problem?” Jackie also rushes to the window. JJ is close behind.

When they look outside there's.... Alt and Schneep. But both of them look... off. Alt looks up at all the faces and smirks cruelly, waving up at them.

"...I take it those are your friends...?" Jackieboy asks quietly.

Jackie’s heart sinks. “Yeah… that’s them. But they’re—different.”

Bro inhales sharply at seeing them, “Christ…! W-what happened? That’s… that’s not Alt-“ 

JJ stumbles back from the window. That must be what your Anti does, he says, shivering. We have to do something!

“Like what?!” Jackie asks.

Snap them out of it!

“Okay, yeah, but I get the feeling they’re not gonna just let that happen.” Jackie tightens his grip on his staff. “We have to prepare!”

Marvin jumps off the table and then makes room to look- and then pales.  “Ohhh no. That’s not good-“

“What is Marv?” Chase asks.

“I know you all don’t remember it much but… r-remember when I made that deal with Anti and he possessed me…?”

“Oh… oh god-“ Jackieboy whispers.

“And uhhh r-remember Illusion…?” Marvin says even quieter.

“Oh fuck really???” Jackie says louder.

"One of them is possessed?!" Jackie stares in the window's direction with narrowed eyes. "Oh shit. Ohhhh shit. I-I mean, the Anti in my world can possess people too, but—not like that."

Alt seems to see Jackie’s expression and grins wider- his black sclera eye flashing brighter green.

And what's Illusion? JJ asks.

"I'm gonna guess it's something related to mind control," Jackie says.

“…yes-“ Marvin says with a wince, “Anti tried this t-technique on me and it… m-made me a glitch like him. E-Erased my memories and made me forget my brothers- made me… l-like him.” He says shakily. “I’m so sorry I… I didn’t think he’d ever t-try that again…! But I… I recognize it- the glitches coming off your friend…”

"Well... s-some of those glitches are normal for him, but... not in that way," Jackie says. "But that's a long story! Let's talk about it later!"

“What the fucking hell…” Bro breathes in horror. Then he narrows his eyes in determination. “Being freaked out about this isn’t going to save them. Jackie’s right- let’s prepare for a fight.”

“Marvin and me can back you up! Right, Marv?” Jackieboy says. Marvin nods. He looks at the others. “Jameson- can you get Chase and Schneep somewhere safe?” Jamie nods.

“If anyone is injured..  come see us at the hospital.” Henrik says with a nod.

“G-Good luck guys… sorry we can’t be much help but- we’re kinda just… regular guys.” Chase says with a nervous laugh.

"Hey, I'm a regular guy, and there's no way in hell I'm going to let them get away with whatever they're gonna do." Jackie shakes his head. "But if you don't think you can help, you know your capabilities better than me. Get somewhere safe."

JJ's eyes turn blue with power and he pulls his mask back down onto his face. I'm ready when you all are. No doubt they'll appear soon.

Jameson makes a portal and smiles at the rest of them, Good luck.

“We’ll meet them outside… we don’t want them destroying the building…” Jackieboy says.

“Thanks for that!” Chase calls as he and Henrik head through the portal with Jameson.

Marvin closes his eyes and the others find themselves turning green before they appear on the asphalt road outside.

Alt grins and laughs sinisterly. It sounds like him- but it’s clearly not. “Check it out, Schneep! Your friends are here~ ready to show them a fun time?”

“Fuck that! Let our friends go!” Bro shouts, his eyes glowing bright blue.

“Hmmm lemme think about it… no.” Alt laughs with condensation.

Schneep giggles manically. "Yes, yes. Let's do it—"

"Schneep what the fuck?!" Jackie gasps. "What the hell happened to you?! If you could see yourself right now I don't think you'd recognize your reflection!"

"I-is that a bad th-thing?" Schneep grins, and suddenly leaps closer to Jackie. "I-I don't think I c-care right now. Come, Jackie. L-let's see how good you are." And suddenly, Jackie feels pain in his stomach as Schneep shoves a pair of scissors into his abdoment.

Jackie yells out, mostly in surprise, and scrambles backwards, making Schneep pull the scissors out. He laughs and turns to Marvin and Jackieboy. "You two are new! Let's see how you are, too!" He leaps over to them and slashes at Marvin.

“Jackie!” Bro yells in shock and looks at Schneep with wide eyes, “S-Schneep stop! Wake up!”

Marvin yells in surprise and holds up a shield just in the nick of time. “This is sick Anti! Let these guys go!”

“Nope~! You all were getting boringgg so let’s do this now!” Alt giggles and then glitches so he’s behind JJ. He makes a knife out of green magic and tries to slash JJ across the back.

JJ’s eyes widen and he spins around, blocking Anti’s—Alt’s?—attack with a glowing blue shield. “A-Alt—!” He breathes out in his rough voice. He tries curving the shield around him, aiming to pin his arms to his sides.

Alt grins wide and glitches out of JJ's magic, giggling. "Careful there- that sounds painful~!" He laughs cruelly before jumping to try to slash at JJ again.

JJ tries conjuring another shield but isn't fast enough, and Alt's knife slashes across his chest. He cries out and staggers back. And anger suddenly surges in his heart. How dare this—this otherworld thing use his friend to hurt him?! His eyes flash, and he throws out a bolt of magic, half blue, half red.

Meanwhile Jackieboy narrows his eyes at Schneep before cracking his knuckles and going to try to punch him in the face.

Schneep hears Jackieboy move before he does and leaps out of the way. He laughs. “Oh! You are like that, I see! How exciting!” He whirls on him and slashes at him instead.

Jackieboy almost manages to catch Schneep's hand but gets nicked in his attempt. "Jesus! You're fighting with scissors?!" 

“Hey!” Jackie grits his teeth through the pain and swings his staff at Schneep to distract him.

The staff cracks against Schneep’s head and he whirls over to look at Jackie. “Oh? You want more?” He laughs madly.

When Schneep tries to whirl on his other self Jackieboy growls and tries to swipe Schneep's feet out from under him.

Schneep leaps out of  the way of Jackieboy's attack. "Y-you are s-such a noisy attacker!" He laughs. Then he leaps away from Jackieboy and appears behind Marvin. "And you! C-come join the fun!" He makes to stab him.

Marvin gasps and whips around and blasts a bolt of green blue fire at Schneep. "S-Stay back!"

Schneep ducks to the ground, dodging the fire with a laugh. It singes his hair a little bit but doesn't do any damage. "No, I think I won't!" He lunges forward to stab again, and Jackie tries to grab him from behind to stop him, but is too slow.

Alt laughs madly and twirl his knife around, ready to go again. But then he sees the bolt of red and he freezes for a second and just barely manages to use his knife to block the blast. "Hit a nerve there, Jackson?" Alt giggles. 

JJ grits his teeth and fires off more magic, this one going out in a wave—and the same blue and red color.

Alt glitches out of the way and hums, "This is getting boring-" He glitches forward towards JJ and smiles more, "C'mon magic man! Give me a real fight!! Or- I guess you don't wanna hurt your 'friend' who's body I stole hm?"

JJ's eyes flash red—literally. And he sends out a great blast of magic at Anti.

Alt's eyes widen and he's sent skidding back against the ground from the blast. He coughs and his eyes flicker slightly as he tries to push himself up. He coughs up a little bit of black blood and grins, "T-That's better!" He laughs unhingedly and then glitches to be back over by JJ in a burst of lightning and glitches. He tries to blast lightning straight at JJ- 

Marvin tries to blast out another burst of magic but is stabbed in his arm. He yells out and stumbles back, holding the wound. "Schneep!" Bro yells and tries to tackle Schneep to the ground.

Schneep leaps out of the way again, laughing. "Y-you all are so noisy! I h-haven't even needed to use my new power to tell where you are!"

Jackie holds back a growl—apparently Schneep can hear it—and lunges at Schneep while he's laughing. He wraps his staff around him, pinning Schneep between the staff and Jackie's body. Schneep yelps in surprise.

"Jackie jesus!" Bro yells, "C-Careful!"

"I am being careful!" Jackie says. "Someone try to snap him out of this! Schneep! I don't know what the fuck that Anti did to you, but this isn't you!"

Schneep laughs. "Y-you all keep saying that! Y-you all are wrong! I was wrong! This buzzing static i-is not a bad omen, i-it is a blessing!" He throws his head backwards, smashing it into Jackie's face. Jackie yelps and instinctively lets go of one end of the staff to block the blood that starts flowing from his nose. Schneep immediately rushes forward, swinging his open scissors at Bro.

JJ conjures up a shield in time, and the lightning gets—strangely—sucked into the red magic it's made. Jameson grins, unusually fierce, and throws the lightning right back at Anti. 

"W-What?!" Anti whispers in confusion as their magic is absorbed. He's not expecting the lightning to hit him back and he flies back and hits his back against the building before landing in a jittering heap. He struggles to push up his trembling arms, "F-Fucking weak ass h-human body!" He growls.

Marvin seems to shiver as he registers the red magic and his eyes widen. "Jameson careful! U-Using magic like that is dangerous!!"

JJ looks over at Marvin, and then down at the red light dancing around his hands. Dangerous...? What—

Black magic.

He gasps as the realization hits him and he staggers backwards. He didn't even realize what he was doing! He just—wanted so badly to get Anti to stop attacking people—that he—that he attacked Alt to do it. Cold dread fills his stomach, but he shakes it off and tries to freeze Alt in place, his magic back to his usual blue.

Alt's head snaps up and he glitches clumsily out of the way, laughing. Though it sounds forced. "Aw- g-giving up on me already, Jackson? Coward-" 

JJ takes a deep breath. He has to stay calm. He can't let Anti get to him! But—he's shaking slightly. All over his body. It would be so easy to get Anti out of Alt if he used that darker spark of power—No! No, he can't do that!

Bro yelps and tries to block himself but ends up getting slashed across his arm. He growls and builds up energy in his finger then tries to shoot Schneep in the shoulder with electrcity. Schneep dodges, laughing. "Y-you are superhero, yes? I bet you are tough, then!" He keeps slashing, hacking wildly.

Bro tries his best to block Schneep, just taking the hacking against his arms as he tries to bite back pained grunts. "C'mon Schneep! F-Fight this! You're better than this!" He tries to grab Schneep's arm that's holding his scissors.

Schneep shrieks in surprise. Then he laughs some more. The black bars and slashes around him buzz fiercely. "I don't want to fight it, though," he whispers, and tries to punch Bro in the face.

Bro dodges and then uses his hold on Schneep to float them both up in the air. "Well tough! Cuz you need to wake the fuck up dude! I know you don't wanna hurt us like this!"

Schneep blinks in surprise as Bro pulls him up into the air. His feet kick uselessly and he giggles. "How d-delightful! I forget you can f-fly!" He laughs harder. "Oo—do you think I can jump down from here? Do you think I can take you with me?" He grins and tries to leap.

But instead, he just slips out of Bro's grasp and starts to fall.

"Schneep!" Bro yells and rockets down to try to catch him. "A-Are you insane?!"

But Bro isn't fast enough. Schneep lands on the ground hard and gasps as pain snaps through his ankle. He staggers to his feet—then falls again as his ankle refuses to support him. "Hah.. h-haha..." Schneep laughs weakly. "I-I think something has twisted." He tries again, this time managing to stand. He dropped his scissors, but he grabs them again easily enough. "Th-that was n-not supposed to happen. But i-it does not matter."

Bro quickly touches back down and holds his hands out to Schneep. "J-Jesus Schneep! Please- stop this... y-you're hurting yourself!"

"H-have you never hurt yourself?" Schneep asks, giggling. "E-even accidentally?" 

"Not like this!" Bro tries to argue. 

Then he abruptly turns to face Jackieboy and Marvin. "Don't think I've f-forgotten you two!" He throws his scissors in their direction.

Marvin holds out a hand and catches his scissors in his magic then throws them down to the ground, catching them in the asphalt. His eyes burn blue green. "Listen other Schneep- I dunno what Anti has promised you- but as another one of his victims I can tell you- it doesn't mean shit! He just wants chaos! He wants to see you and everyone you love hurt. Is that really what you want?"

"Wh-what's wrong with a little chaos?" Schneep giggles. But his smile seems a bit hollow as he remembers how he really hurt Alt earlier. "C-come on, join the fun!" The scissors disappear from the asphalt and reappear in Schneep's hand as he lunges forward.

Jackie notices JJ standing there, trembling, and rushes over, swinging his staff at Alt's head—maybe he can knock him out!

Alt laughs more, an unhinged expression on his face. "Pathetic! Just like your counterpart here- just a fucking useless mut-!"

The staff hits Alt right on top of the head and his vision doubles and he slams into the floor.

JJ blinks in surprise and looks over at Jackie. "Can you do something to stop him?!" Jackie says.

Shaking himself off, JJ nods. He crouches by Alt's side and pulls his wrists behind his back, using magic to bind them there.

"This Anti's even more of an asshole than mine!" Jackie hisses.

That does make sense, doesn't it? JJ says.

Alt struggles against the two of them and laughs even more, "Your Antis are fucking weak! Just like this one is- and I'll use his body until he falls apart! Weak things like him don't deserve to be an Anti!" He bites out at the end, eyes flashing brighter green. "So- do your worst, bitches. I'd like to see you try to free him~" 

"Ohhh if you knew my Anti, you wouldn't be calling him weak," Jackie mutters. "And if you knew Alt, you wouldn't be calling him that, either. I don't care if you can see his memories while possessing him, which you might not. He is so much stronger than anyone thinks--than even he thinks." He grabs Alt's shoulders and shakes him slightly. "Do you hear that, Alt? You're not weak like this bitch is saying! Don't let him beat you down like that!"

JJ nods. You're a great magician and a great man! You can drive him out!

Something in Alt's eyes flicker and he gasps quietly, suddenly trembling a bit more. At first all he can do is make wheezed whimpers but eventually he tries to croak out, "G-Guys...?" Then he winces and hangs his head, fighting against the pounding inside of it- grabbing every fiber of his soul. "N-ngh-!"

"Yes! Alt!" Jackie nods encouragingly. "We're here for you! I-I know it's hard, but you can fight him off!" He looks over at JJ. "Don't you have any magic that could help?!"

JJ's eyes widen. He's not sure—maybe if he used that other power—no! He can't do that! Taking a deep breath, he reaches out and grabs Alt's arm, hoping that if he sends some of his magic into him, it'll... he's not sure. Give Alt something to latch onto? Help drive out this Anti? Something like that.

Alt pants, suddenly weaker than he has been, staring out at the two of them with cloudy eyes. There's a flicker then he growls and bursts an arm out of the magic and grabs JJ's arm, snarling, "Y-Your weak magic can't save him- none of you can...!"

JJ starts as Alt--Anti--grabbed him. For a moment, the blue glow in his eyes flickers, turning red, and the magic going into Alt's body turns into something else, something burning—

"Jameson!" Jackie looks at him in shock.

Alt yelps slightly as the magic burns him and seems a bit more awake for a second. 

JJ shook his head, magic returning to its normal blue. I didn't mean to do that, he says. That doesn't usually happen.

"Dude, get a hold of yourself, this isn't the time!" Jackie looks back at Alt, staring through him towards the possessing glitch within. "You sure love calling people weak, don't you? You know what I think? I think you're scared. I think that you know that you aren't as strong as you appear, and you know that all of us together can drive you out, so you try to tell us we aren't. Don't listen to him, Alt! He's just a little bitch."

Anti grabs the reins from Alt again and grins coldly at Jackie, baring sharp teeth. "Is that what you tell yourself? Think yourself strong to hide how scared shitless you are? I can tell from the way you fight J̵a̵c̶k̵i̷e̷, you're scared of yourself, aren't ya? All you fuckers are. I know you weaklings ain't got nothing on me. I'm eternal. I got all these pussies wrapped around my fingers. This is all just a fun game for me~!" 

Jackie jerks backwards slightly. Scared of himself? Is that—is that true? No, he knows his capabilities. And—that's the problem, isn't it? He knows what he could do if he really let loose. And he doesn't want to be the person who did those things anymore.

"Shut up!" JJ shouts, voice rasping as his eyes turned red once more, burning magic flowing into Alt again. 

Alt gasps out in pain and his eyes fill with red and red cracks crawl across his skin. He almost falls against JJ and Jackie as he grits his teeth against the magic. There seems to be an outline of glitches rising slightly above Alt- almost like... is the black magic forcing Anti out? His eyes flicker as he pants and tries to laugh, "K-Keep on hitting the nerves huh? You got quite the temper hidden, don't ya Jamie~?" 

JJ jerks backwards in surprise. A temper? No, he doesn't have a temper. Does he? This is just—an exception to how he usually is. And—maybe it's an exception he should lean into. Because he's doing something. His face darkens and he forces more of that magic at Anti, a cold so deep it burns.

"Jameson!" Jackie actually scoots backwards in shock.

Alt screams now, his back arching as more red crawls across his skin and it burns-! Anti hates the feeling- he wants it out- out! In a burst of static and glitches a form bursts out of Alt's body and then glitches to its knees on the road behind them. He's twitching and trembling- red cracks on him too as he curses. "F-Fucking! Black magic b̷̡̈ȕ̷̻l̵̤̋l̵̫̇s̵͍͝ḣ̸̙ị̶͝t̷̲̄-!"

Alt's eyes partially roll back into his head as he slumps forward, black magic stark on his skin and all the evidence of his possession still present.... like his slit throat.

"Alt!" Jackie glances at Anti for a moment, but then turns his attention to the fucking bleeding throat wound that Alt is suffering from. "Alt! Fuck! I-I thought that would go away! Jameson!"

JJ shakes his head and looks at Alt as well—and any lingering anger is pushed back by fear. He grabs onto Alt again, trying to heal him. Trying—trying to heal him—trying—why isn't it working? He grits his teeth and whispers the spell under his breath over and over.

Alt chokes and gurgles slightly, and- the healing spell isnt working. If anything- the red cracks seem to get brighter and spread out more. 

Marvin meets Schneep and makes a shield that looks like a card made of transparent magic. He pushes Schneep back with the shield and bares his teeth. "Chaos only hurts those around you! Nothing good comes of it!"

Schneep presses his hands against Marvin's shield, putting his face an inch from its surface. "A-are you sure?" It doesn't sound taunting. It sounds... like a genuine question. And yet, as he asks it, he turns the scissors in his hand around and tries to stab them through the shield.

Marvin lets his guard down- thinking he's getting through to Schneep. But then, his scissors hit with so much force the shield shatters and Marvin flies back, trying to cover up his face from the burst magic. Jackieboy quickly catches him, "Marv!" 

Bro tries to grab Schneep's arm again-

But Schneep slips away, leaping forward again, eyes full of static as he tries to slash at Marvin. Yes—this is fun! This is what he wants!

Marvin scrambles back to try to get away, Jackieboy trying to help him- But Schneep manages to slash across Marvin's leg, making him cry out. Marvin growls and tries to throw fire back at Schneep. Schneep leaps out of the way, appearing behind Jackieboy as he slashes some more. Jackieboy yells out as he's slashed and whirls around trying to grab Schneep and punch him.

Bro looks between the two groups with conflicted eyes- and sees Anti out of his brother. Just seeing him makes him roar in rage as he tackles the glitch and tries to punch him over and over. "Y-You fucker! What the fuck did you do to my brother?!"

Anti isnt expecting this and he's too weak to pull away. But, he laughs like a maniac and grins at Bro, "I gave him a taste of strength~! Probably his last taste! Seems like your healer got too into kicking my ass to save your precious baby bro, Chase~!"

JJ's eyes widen in panic. No no no no! He can't let Alt die! Why isn't this working?! He quickly lets go of Alt and stares down at his hands. Work! Work damn you! The magic flakes swirling around his fingers are still bright red. He tries to concentrate. Come on! What has he done?!

What he had to.

"Nn—!" JJ clutches his head. No! If he'd known that this would be the consequence, he wouldn't have tried it at all! He didn't have to do it. Why did he think he had to?! There could've been another way if he tried!

"Jameson, really, get a hold of yourself!" Jackie grabs JJ, shaking him. "Fucking concentrate! The other magician is being attacked by our hypnotized friend, you're the only one who can do this right now!"

JJ nods, taking deep breaths. He has to concentrate. He's not going to risk touching Alt until he has his magic under control, but he's got to try turning it normal again.

Schneep dodges the punch, laughing, and lunging forward again, scissors aimed for Jackie's chest. Jackieboy grabs Schneep's arm and twists it behind his back and throws him to the ground and pins him there. "That's enough! Marv! Help their other friend!"

Schneep shrieks angrily and struggles against Jackieboy's hold. "Let go! Let go!"

"G-Got it!" Marvin says as he rushes over. He sees JJ struggling with his magic and gently cups his hands, "Hey- I know its hard... just- try to picture the light and what you want to fight for, okay?" He smiles and then turns to presses fingers to Alt's neck and mumbles an incantation that starts to heal Alt's wound, stitching the skin back together.

JJ nods slowly. He looks down at his hands again. Picture the light. Picture what he wants to fight for. These guys, of course. His new friends. And all his friends back at home. Marvin, Schneep, Jackie, Anti. What would they say about this? They wouldn't want this for him. As he concentrates on them, the red in his magic slowly fades, the blue returning.

"No!" Anti yells with a snarl but Bro just slams him back into the ground. "Face it fucker! You've lost! Get the fuck out of here before I find out how to kill a figment myself!" The hero yells. 

Anti laughs at this and gives Bro a condensing smirk before starting to turn into pixels. "Fine... this isn't fun anymore. Good luck finding a way home~" He giggles sarcastically before dissolving away into glitches, his laugh echoing in the air.

Once Anti is gone, Bro tears over to crash next to Alt. "Is he okay?!" 

JJ looks at Bro. I—think he'll be fine? he says, a look of uncertainty on his face.

Marvin's magic is making good progress, the wound becoming a mostly closed puffy red scar. Marvin slumps back a bit, sweating as he shudders. "Y-Yeah I... f-focused on closing the muscles back together since t-that's what's most dangerous about a- slit throat..."

"No! Anti! Anti!" Schneep fought harder against Jackieboy's hold. Why did Anti leave him?!

"Jesus, Schneep!" Jackie gets up and walks over to his other self and Schneep. "Wake up! You don't want to be this dependent on someone, do you?!"

"A-Anti—"

"Shut the fuck up about Anti! He's gone, he's left you!"

Schneep glares at him, but... he's right. He's right, isn't he?

Jackieboy holds Schneep down still and just sadly shakes his head, "...I’m sorry... h-he doesn't care for anyone but himself and his fun. W-We'll get all this outta ya okay?"

"D-doesn't care...?" Schneep stutters. "G-get it out?" He blinks, then laughs. "Wh-what if you cannot get it out? I-I am a glitch! I b-broke the laws of the world! S-something must have gone wrong--s-some in—in—un—Unvereinbarkeit!" He struggles against Jackieboy. "This is who I was meant to be!"

“No it’s not!” Jackieboy cries out

The black bars gather around his form as he starts to fizzle, but Jackie lunges forward and helps his other self pin him down, breaking his concentration. "I don't care if you're a glitch or not! Nobody is meant to hurt people!" he snaps.

 “Anti thrives off making people act completely opposite from how they usually are!” Jackieboy continues. “I’m sure you’re not like this normally! Think, dude! Think about what you want- what you fight for!”

"Wh-what I want...?" Schneep blinks.

"Yes!" Jackie shakes him slightly. "What you want! It's not what you think, I can promise you that! Your Anti did terrible things to you, didn't he? Well—right now you're acting a bit like him."

"N-no!" Schneep twists around. "How would you know?!"

"Because of how you've talked about him!" Jackie insists. "Do you want to be compared to that guy?! The guy who tormented your friends?!"

"N-n-n—" Schneep shakes his head. The static in his eyes fades a little, fuzzing away from his irises. The white noise in him still screams for blood, for chaos, for pain. But beneath it, he can hear voices—familiar voices, trying to reach him. He can't quite hear what they're saying, though. "I-Ich—n—"

Alt groans and blearily blinks open his eyes, looking out in confusion. "...mmm...? G...guys...?" He slurs. He tries to look around and push himself up but almost completely slumps back to the floor. "s...sch...nep- where's...?"

JJ points to the side, where the Jackies are dealing with Schneep.

Alt struggles to push himself up, “S-Schneep!” He croaks out, and Bro tries to catch him and hold him up. “Alt careful!”

“Help… I-I gotta h-help-“ Alt breathes then coughs harshly.

“Dude you just had your neck spilt open! We can figure this out…” Bro tries to reason.

JJ half-reaches out, wanting to help support Alt too, but he hesitates. Alt, do you really think you can help? Without pushing yourself? He looks at Bro. He should be able to try, at least... if it won't hurt him.

Alt unsteadily looks at JJ and Bro and nods. “…I c-can take the glitches I… I can handle them. S-Schneep can’t…”

Bro looks wary but he eventually nods. “L-Lemme help you…”

Bro helps Alt over and Alt kneels down next to Schneep, and shakily tries to take his hand. “Hen…? Can you hear me?” He whispers.

Schneep jumps at the surprise touch, too stuck in his inner world to pay attention to the sense of souls approaching. "A-Anti? Nein, Alt. Alt." He squeezes Alt's hand. "I—D-did I... h-hurt? Too much? Again?"

Alt shakes his head, “N-not you…” 

JJ wanders over. What are you planning to do? he asks.

"Whatever it is, do it quick," Jackie says through gritted teeth. "He might start fighting again."

Alt looks at JJ and then pulls up Schneep’s sleeve and tries to find the slash that Anti put the glitches into. He finds the strangely green glitchy cut and closes his eyes before putting his hands over it. “I’m… I’m getting these out of Hen… by giving them somewhere else to go.” His eyes glow bright blue before his body starts to dissolve into pixels. “Like calls to like…” Then he dives into the cut in a collection of pixels.

It hurts at first- uncomfy rough pixels collecting inside Schneep’s skin. Then, the pain and madness starts to recede- clarity returning.

After about a minute Alt is shot back out, first as straight pixels, then he hits the ground and snaps back together. He grits his teeth, eyes shut in pain as red and black glitches vibrate around him and eat at his skin. Then- they fade to his normal blue green color and he slumps, clearly exhausted.

“Woah!” Jackieboy exclaims in surprise. “T-The fuck just happened?? He can glitch like Anti??”

Marvin hovers over Alt with concern. Bro rushes over to help him up. “Alt!”

“‘M okay… ‘m okay I swear…” Alt slurs, eyes rolling a bit in his head.

JJ reaches out as Alt returns but hesitates, unsure.

Schneep gasps, blinking his eyes as if trying to clear something away. The static recedes, and his eyes are their normal—well, not normal, but usually possible—black and turquoise. “Wh-what the fuck…?” He whispers.

“You okay, Schneep?” Jackie asks.

“I-I am fi—mein Gott! I-I am so sorry!” He goes a bit pale as the gravity of his actions fully sink in. “I-I am so—I never thought—I-I tried—”

“Hey, no, it’s okay, we get it,” Jackie reassures him. “These guys do, too. Sounds like they’ve dealt with this Anti fucker a lot.” 

Jackieboy looks sympathetic and nods. “We get it… god we get it man. You’re okay…” 

Jackie looks over at Alt. “Are you sure you’re okay, man? You look out of it.”

Alt’s eyelids flutter as he tries to look at Jackie. He tries to say something but just ends up groaning and slumping against Bro. Bro frowns in worry and feels his forehead. A little warm… at least it seems like those red marks from JJ’s black magic are receding.

He probably needs rest, JJ says. And you all need to… heal. He looks at his hands again, testing to see if his magic is still blue. It is.

“Henrik has a room saved for us in the hospital for hero emergencies,” Marvin explains, “I can take you all there to rest and wrap up our wounds if you’d like? I… it took a lot of magic to make sure that slit throat d-didn’t… you know so I… I probably can’t heal much more.”

“That’d be great, Marvin,” Jackie says, wincing as he stands up. He forgot he got fucking stabbed. “Don’t worry about not healing, really. You kinda had to prioritize.”

“I-I am… so sorry,” Schneep says. “Truly.”

I’m sorry, too, JJ says.

“What? You don’t have to be sorry for anything, Jameson,” Jackie says.

JJ smiles at him weakly but says nothing. He walks over to Schneep and helps him stand up. Schneep mumbles a thank you and reaches out to grab his cane from nowhere.

Marvin gives JJ a knowing look and nods in sympathy. JJ glances back at him, surprised, and then softens a little. If this Marvin knows what that was... well, he's sorry that happened, but he's happy that someone understands.

“It’s okay Schneep…” Bro mumbles, “You couldn’t help it… I’m sorry we let Anti take you..  both of you.”

“Sorry fests aren’t helpful, mates.” Jackieboy sighs and gets to his feet. “Let’s just focus on moving forward, alright?”

Jackie shakes his head, laughing. "Right. No sorry fests. I gotta keep that in mind."

Marvin chuckles a bit at this and nods, closing his eyes and transporting them to the hospital.

[crystalelemental]

"books-are-my-life-stuff: Yeah... The Arc Outfits Lance-Steven-Cynthia are basically the improved version of their OG versions, but are made separate units, with slightly modified outfits, and, uh, I guess they're broken units, but as you mentioned, the game has never been that difficult. Overly complicating the gameplay by adding more roles and new mechanics are unnecessary."

It's not even just that, it's that...we had all these systems for improving performance: 5/5 grids, 3/5 expansions, EX Roles, hell the boosted energy cap. And what's the solution to powering up now? Selling back the same thing. These aren't new pairs. They have a new outfit, but they're the same character/Pokemon combination we've always had, and this is the only way they're going to upgrade them now. Not by adding mechanics to keep old things relevant like they used to, but by re-selling the same pair with the upgrades you'd want, on significantly worse rates and higher pity requirements. And they're couching all of this as a "Celebration of the game." They can fuck right off with that.

"Oh and by the way, Lillie got an alt, a free alt even, with Solgaleo. But her outfit is basically just her Anni 2021 outfit with the colors adjusted to Solgaleo's color scheme."

I did notice the Lillie but by that point I was too in awe to really parse that it was her. Can't wait for this free Solgaleo to be stronger than her Lunala alt!

"But yeah, that 500 scout points fucking sucks. DeNA will definitely release some popular characters (like N) there, and probably Volo's "true form" is gonna be called Arceus Outfit whenever it's released eventually. And then I'll have to deal with that stupid scout point just to get a copy of him. Good thing I don't play that much anymore."

It's just absurd. I can't even say I'm that surprised, but upping the pity requirements on rates that are already so bad you have around an average chance you needed to spark before this adjustment is just wretched. This is the kind of change that should decimate their sales with how many people leave, but the addicting factor of gacha as it is, the noose will tighten for those who stay and their profits likely won't be impacted anyway. It's disgusting.

[gongustheawsome01]

Some cannon relationships for Vicky and stuff ( Pretty much just what she thinks of each character )

More info on Vicky here! ( Backstory )

Vicky Backstory

Peppino -

The first introduction she had to this man was him breaking into her house thinking it was another one of pizzaheads plans and almost beating HER up before he realize she wasn't pizzahead and was indeed a vampire ready to rock his face in.

He was so pathetic and sad though that it would just be absolutely miserable to kill him so she let him go.

So yeah she doesn't really like him all too well! She often pranks him a lot not like water bucket but in a spooky way like jump scarring or putting one million trillion spiders in his room. She still however isn't as annoying as the noise

Gustavo -

Oh they're sworn enemies. He hates her because of her constantly pranking Peppino and making his life more miserable than it already is. Vicky however sees Gustavo as a total joykill and that it's just some silly fun.

He often sends brick to scare her off he is pretty bad at being scary though so she just runs off most of the time or fly's off if she decides to transform into a bat.

Mr.Sticks -

She ALMOST killed him when they first met because she thought he was just another annoying door to door sales man that was gonna be her next meal ( I mean she WAS right on one of those parts ) but due to the pairs GOD AWFUL taste in fashion she actually really liked his outfit and asked about it.

They then talked for hours about a lot of things until Sticks realized like after one whole hour he was talking to a vampire and bolted out of the door screaming like a girl.

They then kept running into another until Sticks accepted she wasn't going to suck his blood out. They are now best friends because of the power of being failures, bad fashion taste, and being annoying!

Burton -

She met him when she was hanging out at Sticks insane apartment and they both heard a knock at the door sticks went up to get it and Burton was there! Paying a visit because he realized he was passing by.

He then looked over to see Vicky just kinda standing there like a statue because she didn't know this guy so hypothetically he COULD be a vampire slayer but he was also a friend of Sticks so was he chill?

Burton then turned over to Sticks and asked him. "..Scott is that a vampire?"

She then stopped overthinking for a moment to say. "YOUR NAME IS SCOTT??" Anyways now they're pretty content with another I feel as if they talked to each other more than they would become friends.

Brick -

he's working with Gustavo and y'know sometimes DOES bite her. So like I'd say they probablyyyy don't like each other..

Noisette -

She found her cafe one afternoon when she was just wandering about. She wasn't looking for anything to eat or drink but just thought she'd have a quick look.

Noisette herself seemed pretty nice of a gal. She insisted that she at least try one of her foods but just looking at the menu said she'd already ate. They talked for a bit well Noisette mainly did the talking..

But she was alright in Vicky's terms at least. Vicky actually ended up becoming a regular there mainly to pass the time though and Noisette can be entertaining. So in the end... Good friends! ( Also yes they do gossip sometimes. )

Noise -

NOISETTE IS TOO GOOD FOR HIM AND HE DESERVES THE GUILLOTINE!!! In her humble opinion..

Pepperman-

While she does actually fancy his artistic talent and owns maybe one or two of his paintings. Holy hell is he INSUFFERABLE to her.

When it comes to Noisette the appeal with her is that while she doesn't mean to sound rude Noisette is a little.. empty headed and kinda just goes on tangents of whatever! Which can be really entertaining.

BUT THIS GUYYY MAN!!! She spends five seconds around him and all of a sudden it's "himself", or "something pretentious here", OR EVEN "so like why do you wear red anyways? For the vampire look or is it a sort of metaphor for-" before he could even finish that one though she hit him over the head with a wooden chair.

Vigilante-

She can't interact with this guy. He reminds her too much of her sister.

Fake peppeino-

She met this THING ONCE and she decided never again and doesn't even bring it up you mention even the slightest bit of it and she just goes "SHSHSHHSHSSHHHHHHHSHSHSHHHHHH"

Aka she may or may not have actually felt fear for the first time in forever for her thousands of years alive.

(NOTE: SOME OF THIS CAN AND MOST LIKELY WILL CHANGE IN THE FUTURE. )