#they're actually hunting lilith down

[machinegrl]

tag game: bold the facts ! ☆

thank u for tagging mee! @simsonnet @siliconesims @nefarrilou🥰🤍

i don't have enough ocs for this game so i'm introducing some new ones! (inna's not rlly new i just haven't posted about them yet 😅)

you can also check out my other ocs: syera, lilith & dione

rules: tag people and name a character you want to know more about! If you want to let the person you tagged decide who to showcase, then don’t name a character and they can pick somebody. easy! the person who is tagged will then bold the remarks below which apply to their character &, if they want to, include a picture with their reply!

NOVA & INNA- cold-blooded henchman & the ferocious bounty hunter

[ PERSONAL ]

$ Financial: wealthy / moderate (both grew up poor) / poor / in poverty

✚ Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable

 ✪ Class or Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other

✔ Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other

 ✖ Criminal Records: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed (in exchange for her freedom nova was hired as a private secretary/henchman by a corrupt politician who took care of erasing most of her criminal records)

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES ]

♦ extroverted / introverted / in between

♦ disorganized / organized / in between

♦ close minded / open-minded / in between

♦ calm / anxious / in between

♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between

♦ cautious / reckless / in between

♦ patient / impatient / in between

♦ outspoken / reserved / in between

♦ leader / follower / in between

♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in between

♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between

♦ traditional / modern / in between

♦ hard-working / lazy / in between

♦ cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown

♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown

♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown

[ ABILITIES ]

☠ Combat Skills: excellent (both are highly trained assassins but work separately) / good / moderate / poor / none

 ≡ Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

✍ Artistic Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

 ✂ Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

[ HABITS ]

☕ Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / Alcoholic

☁ Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / chain-smoker

✿ Recreational Drugs: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict / quit

✌ Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess

☻ Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater

$ Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic

 ♣ Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler

[ BELIEFS ]

★Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic

☆Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

✮Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

✯Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

❃Belief in Aliens: yes (nova is part alien, inna has fought some) / no / don’t know / don’t care

✧Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious

❀Philosophical: yes / no

[ FAMILY ]

◒Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children

◑Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased / unknown

◔ Affiliation: orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parents / not applicable 

[ SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ]

❤ Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual / (nova doesn't label herself)

❥ Sex: sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless

♥ Romance: romance repulsed (she's too busy plotting world domination) / romance neutral / romance favorable /naive and clueless / romance suspicious

❣ Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious

⚧ Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

⚧ Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

[shallowseeker]

I'm breaking this one out by itself because it's a little funny.

*Dean's phone rings*

*Dean answers without looking*

*Dean proceeds to yell at Cas*

Ah, right. What could possible be so important?

/////

Sam goes on to tell Dean that *drumroll* Sam is Lucifer's true vessel.

WOW! Scary!

DEAN: *sarcastically* Just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in, huh Sammy? SAM: That's it? That's your response?

It's... completely lost of Sam, though, the REASON for Dean's sarcasm.

See. It's this: now that Sam's found out that HE'S a vessel, he's in his car, an absolute FIRE lit under his goddamned tail, EAGER to get back in and fight.

Sam.

SAMMY.

🤦🤦🤦🤦

Dean throws a hint.

DEAN: *sarcastically again* I guess I'm a little numb to the earth-shattering revelations at this point. SAM: Well what are we gonna do about it?

And Sam... still doesn't get it.

Sigh.

Here's the thing. Sam wasn't panicking when they learned that Dean was a vessel. Only Cas and Bobby were panicked and stressed. They were mean, but they were at least aware of the reality of things.

But Sam.

Yes, Sam was going through things, struggling with things, and taking time to go through things is okay. But on the other hand, it definitely still hurts that Sam wasn't insisting on staying in the fight on Dean's behalf, to protect Dean from becoming a vessel.

But now that Sam's learned that he's a vessel?

Boom.

It's not even that, though. It's this whole conversation.

Because what's missing here? Empathy for Dean's plight.

Sam doesn't realize that this is why he's perpetually at... the kids' table. This right here.

In this whole conversation, Sam is eaten up with ranting about his own feelings, about how he's sick of being a puppet, and how he's going to hunt Lucifer down and gain redemption.

Sam's all about "how he can do this," how he's "gonna prove it to you."

It makes him seem a lot younger than he is.

....

There's no acknowledgment of how helpless Dean must have been feeling all this time, knowing that he's been targeted by an archangel, about how scary this whole thing is.

Hell, even Cas acknowledged Dean's fears re: Michael.

I mean: He did it in his Cas way, but it still acknowledged the enormity of the fear.

Cas:

///

Meanwhile, Sam back in 5x01, right after DEAN learned about being Michael's vessel: Geez, why is everyone so cranky and stressed?

🥺Dean, what do you mean that you didn't mean your pep talk to Bobby? Whaaaat? 🥺

///

....

And the thing is. Not "getting it"? That's understandable. But this conversation is just... devoid of support for Dean.

And they're not. Sam's zapping all the strength for himself.

When they've been together lately, Dean is the big brother who lends support, and Sam isn't giving anything back. Sam's out to prove himself, not to support others.

And they tell older siblings and parents to be patient, to let them learn, to step back and forgive, to be "a soft place to land."

That's hard to do. And it's exhausting.

And aside// Sam's apology to (demon) Bobby was SO MUCH NICER. Sam, where is this humility and energy for other people????

SAM: No, actually. Bobby, this is all my fault. I'm sorry. Lilith did not break the final seal. Lilith was the final seal. I killed her, and I set Lucifer free. You guys warned me about Ruby, the demon blood, but I didn't listen. I brought this on. I'm sorry.

[findmeinthefallair]

It's me again. The therapist/illustrator who can't stop squeaking and screaming about her beloved son Hunter.

I've been thinking nonstop about him finding the terrible grimwalker graveyard, imagining what would be going through my mind if I were him. Sifting through whatever moments, dialogue and frames that I can find from the existing material, along with references outside of the show, to formulate what an offscreen scene would've been like.. (And seeing if I can find editable and salvageable enough backgrounds so I could perhaps even depict this scene one day)

A soul like him who not only wants to help others, but also acquire knowledge:

heading back here to see the graveyard:

You can't tell me that this wouldn't still be on his mind, and he's even anxious while saying this below, scratching his face a little:

Whether he follows up on this or not, also depends on how he looks back on being shown this:

And is he just going to go cold turkey and totally drop these leads he was pursuing in the episodes before the finale? :

Three things prompted me to finally write this post:

@polyhexian's and @ashanimus's analyses of Hunter's fight scenes in Hunting Palismen and Eclipse Lake (links here and here, they're really cool to read!!), based on their years of experience with martial arts. Reading those was a revelation to me because learning about how high Hunter's skill level is, how in touch with his body he is by default, portrayed so well thanks to the crew...that allows me to make far more educated guesses about his mental health in the early stages of the pre-epilogue gap of about 4 years. Because he is so used to high activity and being on high alert, no thanks to having C-PTSD.

Observing how light and free Hunter's expressions are, and how transformed his demeanor became, in the epilogue sequence. That transformation is an indication to me of the magnitude of grief which had to be transformed within him. To be put back together, in order to be so radiant, generous and self-actualized in the epilogue...imagine how much had to be deconstructed and further broken beforehand. He wouldn't have room to fill his life up with all that amazing newness if the old isn't emptied out first.

This psychoeducational video by my fave author, also a practicing therapist, who specializes in traumatic grief: link. Hearing her address the topic of entering the second year after a bereavement vs. the first year, was interesting. Definitely confirms to me that Hunter wouldn't have carved Waffles until past the 2nd year of navigating his bereavement.

In the years that pass before the epilogue, Hunter will not be able to understand why the efforts he puts into all the rebuilding work, coordinating and leading others, and trying to have fun - only cycle back to him experiencing a mix of a restlessness and emptiness in the deepest layer of his mind. It'll exhaust his energy bit by bit. I bet he's going to generally look as tired as depressed Luz does below, even if he's had an acceptable hours of sleep per night:

That restlessness will be an awful psychological itch that he'll be unable to scratch, caused by losing Flapjack and now also Belos. This is the same as what happened with his anger in For the Future, except Belos was still alive back then. It will be harder to understand and messier to navigate the bereavement this time round. It'll be something gnawing into his soul which I really think only professional help can heal, especially since the show promotes that it's okay to not be okay, and more than okay to seek professional help (Steve and Lilith's conversation in Edge of the World).

He will be trying to claw his way out of that C-PTSD pit, but he'll be aware deep down that he simply cannot reach any emotional high points for long, and something will be blocking his feelings of connection with his loved ones. He won't feel nearly as free and easy the way he used to be in the human realm:

Having a routine like he used to in the Castle, and moving around a lot, was what helped him survive. However, he won't have the awareness that the shift resulting from Belos passing away has been at such a fundamental level: to the point that those old, supposedly tried-and-true methods no longer serve him in any positive way. At least, not until his mental health will be back in better shape.

As he puts in more and more effort to escape that restless emptiness, getting annoyed at himself because he doesn't know what's going on...he'll use up the rest of his strength and eventually crash. That itch won't be solved by going back to overworking tendencies, and like how it is with addiction cycles, he would need some kind of fix for the deep restlessness within. The answer? Productivity to feel useful, which we have seen even in his efforts to fix damaged clothing and well, making stuff in general.

Where the grimwalker graveyard comes in is...once he hears news about its existence, he will stubbornly insist to want to help in investigating it, saying he has already read a bunch of books about them, and can be useful, etc. Worse, if his offer to help to investigate is refused, he will do what he did in Eclipse Lake. Go to the location anyway, to fill that deep void within.

Old habits die hard.

I don't know if he may hear from King (who he'll be seeing fairly often, I think!), The Collector or even Kikimora about it. Since they were the three characters who went all the way down there in King's Tide, and The Collector already knew about these horrors for literal centuries. King and The Collector are also still young kids! Will they have the sensitivity and awareness about breaking this news to Hunter?!

On the other hand, I don't know how the timing will be with Darius, Raine and Eberwolf..Darius will want to get serious about investigating his mentor's disappearance. Once the searching and scouring extends to the location of the Head of the Titan, they will find the evidence staring them in the face. If they want to scour every inch of the Isles, there's also a high chance they'll find the godforsaken grimwalker lab.

Worst of all, Darius would be aware by then of how much Hunter loves to help out in operations like this to be productive. At the same time, Darius's own grief will surface even more, I'm not sure he'll be able to hide that, and Hunter is highly observant. If Darius is trying to hide his own priority of finding closure re: his mentor, I think Hunter will sense that.

Therefore I wonder if this will happen except it's Hunter with Darius:

and then this poor beloved skrunkly son of mine, who so famously said these words at the beginning of his arc:

is probably going to get reckless, and endanger his mental health...not unlike moments like this:

by venturing to the graveyard, whether stealthily or accompanying the grownups, because he'll rationalize it as "getting closure" and once again "being useful". Remember how used he is to moving around so much and being active, combined with growing up isolated so that asking for help can still be a foreign concept to him. He would be anxious about grinding to a halt, and he'd want to be on the move instead.

He may demand to see the graveyard, and holy Titan I'm not sure any dilemma will be as tricky for Camila and Darius to navigate as this one. Because preventing him from seeing something he already knows exists is, in a very twisted way, also an unhelpful form of avoidance. Avoidance is a hallmark criterion for diagnosing both PTSD and C-PTSD.

How far do they go in protecting him from himself? Where do they draw that line? They might reach a compromise where Camila and Darius accompany him there. Once he sees it, it'll hit harder than this:

Letting him see it means his new parents would have to fall with him, in the sense that they follow him to that emotional place: but while he figuratively does not have a safety harness when falling into this deep dark hole, Camila and Darius are equipped with harnesses a.k.a. higher maturity, less of a trauma history, and some tools to help him get better, navigate the trauma, and manage his symptoms.

Camila will have the warmth and sensitivity to catch and meet him as he falls (she interacts with animals in her profession, who don't have the capacity for human language, in a similar way to how serious trauma can't even be put into words at times: it makes you voiceless). Darius's shared past living in the Castle and grieving over his mentor will help Hunter not feel as alone once he has seen these horrors.

And because his heart generally became more open to receiving love and support,

I doubt he'll close himself off almost completely, the way he did in the first two-thirds of For the Future (god, remember these deleted storyboards??):

It wouldn't surprise me if he weeps and panics as soon as he sees the graveyard, and his parents give him maximum support through that breakdown. As complicated as it would be for Camila and Darius to give in to his desire to see the graveyard, a response like this from him - a child seeking attachment with proper timing - is a good sign of growing into healthy attachment with parental figures.

It is an arguably better response than one of the hardest aspects of C-PTSD: where the outpouring of grief only happens after a delay, sometimes a significant delay, at very inconvenient or strange times. Hell...if I were Hunter, I'd probably want Camila and Darius to just hold me close in wordless silence for half an hour until my initial distress and shock passes.

If I use King - a child who is securely attached to Eda, who's definitely had a more stable upbringing - as a control experiment here, he could have the appropriate response immediately in Echoes of the Past and expressed his emotional needs clearly enough:

Whereas this is what Hunter has to now learn, at twice King's age, as he settles in with new parents who take care of him instead of mistreating him the way Belos did. Hell, I can't imagine what kind of Belos punishment awaited him if he cried to demand attachment.

(I need to use more King scenes as a comparison to Hunter's upbringing in my next metas! I realize this can make my explanations clearer)

Anyway, what may happen next after he can't unsee the graveyard is...Hunter will then swing to the other extreme of high activity. I.e. being passive, physically inactive and psychologically crashing into depression, which may translate into habits such as oversleeping (catching up on all that lost sleep...but at what cost?). Supposedly sliding deeper into the C-PTSD pit. A place from which he has to express the desire to seek the forms of help he needs.

Remember that this kid has only known extremes for most of his life. Until he settles in properly with his found family and attends therapy, he has no clear reference point for more balanced approaches in living.

The trauma he went through is a quadruple whammy for a 16-year-old who just survived growing up in a cult. It would be so much. I can't see him not falling into months of deep dark depression, as unfortunate as this sounds.

Grieving over Flapjack, grieving over Belos, over his childhood/upbringing, and now a grisly memory of his predecessors who didn't make it (to add to what he saw in Belos's mindscape). I simply cannot see him handling a load like this without a highly-equipped and sensitive professional, paired with his support network of family, friends and even possibly the wider community at times. Especially now that we've seen him in action during the epilogue.

The epilogue sequence would've had a different feel (and in my opinion, a not-so-good feel) for me if Dana had established that the grimwalker graveyard was still untouched after those 3.5-4 years and if Hunter never found out about it. Something like that is different compared to Dana mentioning in the recent Post-Hoot that in the he does not know about Caleb and Evelyn, or that he is related to the Clawthornes. Mysteries like the Clawthorne heritage can remain an eerie secret that only us in the audience know about, but I wouldn't feel comfy if this were the case for the graveyard as well.

To quote @idlescree's video essay about Hunter's death (link), the show's writers didn't pull any punches when it came to Hunter's development arc. Which means they had to take his story to the "categorically appropriate place for him to overcome" his greatest challenges.

Something tells me that with respect to the grimwalker graveyard and the avoidance theme in C-PTSD recovery, Hunter would've had to put in more work to confront a number of terrifying foes even beyond his Thanks to Them speech. One of which was the graveyard containing the remains of his predecessors.

PS: This is a spontaneous post which branches out from my giant post-finale meta (link) that I pinned to my blog, I suppose.

[scoobydoodean]

Okay later when I actually get to this episode I'll probably discuss it more formally, but I can't stop thinking about 4.14 "Sex and Violence" (the siren episode) and how Sam says:

SAM OK, fine. You know why I didn't tell you about Ruby, and how we're hunting down Lilith? Because you're too weak to go after her, Dean. You're holding me back. I'm a better hunter than you are. Stronger, smarter. I can take out demons you're too scared to go near.

And I've said before that usually when Sam hurls things like this... he's really projecting his own feelings about himself, and one of the ways Sam projects here is with this narrative that Dean is scared to fight demons and Sam isn't.

I've been making gifs, so 3.09 "Malleus Maleficarum" is on my mind, and in this episode, Ruby tries to scare Sam into leaving town.

RUBY Sam, listen to me, there's no time. SAM For what? What are you talking about? RUBY You have to get out of town.

She goes onto explain that there's a demon in town with its eyes set on Sam:

RUBY Sam, it knows you're in town and it's gonna come after you and its way more than you can handle.

Sam's reaction to this shows a lot of fear and uncertainty—Ruby's warning definitely sets him on edge and makes him question whether they should ditch the case.

Ruby sets Sam further on edge by bringing Dean's approaching demise into the situation—reminding Sam that he's going to be all alone in the world—no Dean to protect him—to save him—should a demon set its sights on Sam in the future.

RUBY Oh, right, right. You care about your brother so much. That's why you're checking out in a few months, leaving him all alone? DEAN Shut up. RUBY At least let me try and save him, since you won't be here to do it any more.

Dean, meanwhile, doesn't believe Ruby, and has no qualms about sticking around. Ruby isn't lying about a demon being in town, but well... Dean still doesn't exactly quake in his boots when it comes to that demon.

And even though Ruby was telling the truth about a demon being in town, Dean wasn't wrong about Ruby messing with Sam's head during that whole warning. Ruby's primary strategy in season 3 is to convince Sam that he is hopelessly unprepared for life without Dean—that he is weak, and that if he wants to save Dean or even just survive himself, he needs to become stronger. And of course, her ultimate suggestion on how Sam becomes strong will be to drink demon blood... and that demon blood is what Sam boasts about in 4.14 "Sex and Violence"—how it's made him strong. He isn't scared of demons anymore. He doesn't want to leave town hearing they're after him. He gets excited at the prospect of crushing them. He doesn't need Dean's protection. Dean is the one who's weak. Dean is the one who's scared. Sam is powerful.

[polyhexian]

Okay I might be on to something, get ready for some vague what-ifs I've been pondering all evening.

So we haven't really delved into the runaway au's political scene much, but several things have been brought up that make for ingredients in what could be a very interesting pie:

Belos has built Will up as a super important and integral part of his regime.

Will actually has good self-esteem and has independantly come to the conclusion that there's something fishy going on here.

With an adult Golden Guard at Belos's side, the government is probably even stricter.

Will and Lilith probably don't like each other.

Open rebellion is super risky and we don't know what Raine's up to.

So starting with Belos and Will - Belos's manipulation tactic with Will is to basically butter him up. Oh, my Golden Guard is SO loyal and competent and brave, whatever would I do without him? And he has been doing this since Will was picked, and for an added bonus he probably hasn't even been beating Will to a bloody pulp for any perceived failures (it probably rankles Belos to hold back on a potential punching bag like that, but he still doesn't know what set Jasper off so he's being careful with this one). So right off the bat, Will has a good foundation of self-esteem for his developmental journey.

Now, Will could have gone a different route and become co-dependant on Belos. Belos is the one with the real authority and could take Will's power away whenever he wants, and that could have led to Will being blindly and exceedingly loyal. But we know from Lament that Will is curious, and he likes to experience things, and he pursues the truth. And dictatorships are always chock full of logical fallacies.

So it's probably a bunch of little things that slowly set off Will's alarm bells. Things that just…don't add up. Why do we do this instead of that? Why is this inefficient policy a thing? Why do I get the feeling that the cruelty is the point?

Maybe the palismen are a part of it - Will may not care for palismen personally, but he watches Belos eat one and thinks, there has GOT to be a better treatment for this curse that doesn't rely on such a limited resource, but Belos just flat-out refuses to hear it. He might not beat Will for bringing it up, but the fact that he shoots the idea down immediately is just…why would you NOT want to research other options? That's just stupid.

The entire situation with Jasper is another inconsistency. So this guy was the last Golden Guard, he's armed and highly dangerous, he has government secrets and may be plotting a coup, and he stole the Grimwalker that was supposed to replace him. A Grimwalker who was…a baby. Belos might brush it off like "He likely wanted to buy more time before I could send someone after him" but as Will hunts them down it becomes clear that Jasper still has the kid. Every time he questions people in a town Jasper passed through, they're like, "oh, yeah, that father and son, they were sweet, the spitting image of each other except for the scars." There is no strategic reason to kidnap and keep a baby that no one is going to pay a ransom for, in fact that is the opposite of a sound tactical decision, and yet Jasper did exactly that. Why??

He probably brings it up to Belos and is given the ol' "who can truly understand how wild magic corrupts us" non-answer, and Will is getting REAL TIRED of hearing that spiel.

Now, part of Belos's buttering up of Will is giving him governmental authority, and that could make things interesting. Hunter was technically a Coven Head, but everyone in the castle saw him as a child and a brat and didn't respect him. Jasper had military authority but wasn't a Coven Head, and the Coven Heads seemed to think they were above him. But Belos isn't going to allow anyone to play those games with this Golden Guard - he can't afford to lose Will to political pettiness, he isn't going to tolerate anyone trying to instigate anything. Will is also an adult, so he has that advantage over Hunter, and without the uncle/nephew connection no one's going to accuse him of being a nepo baby, though it is weird that he just came out of nowhere. But most importantly, the Emperor clearly favors this Golden Guard, and it's a sort of situation where the Coven Heads realize it's better to gain the Emperor's attention by working with the Golden Guard, rather than see him as competition to remove. The Golden Guard is the ticket to the Emperor's approval--even if they don't LIKE him, they aren't gonna undermine him.

That doesn't make the government any better or the coven system more efficient, of course. If anything Will is surrounded by ass-kissers and people who tolerate him, lol. But he doesn't have to worry about people trying to stab him in the back, usually. There's some actual, real working relationships going on there. His colleagues talk to him and ask for his input and pass him information and trade favors with him.

And then there's the comparisons to Jasper - not from Belos, but from everyone else. Oh, you're SO much more competent than the LAST Golden Guard. He was good at his job, but he upset the Emperor SO often, he had SO many curse-induced fits because of him. You've NEVER upset the Emperor THAT much! And you actually help out with governmental things, the last one couldn't be bothered! Also don't take this the wrong way but it's almost a relief you don't speak, the last two guards' voices were SO annoying.

And Will is just. Gathering intel here. Like. Huh. This Jasper guy made Belos so angry he'd have curse-induced fits? All the time? Jasper apparently had limited governmental authority. This is WEIRD.

Heck, maybe Darius unintentionally says something that tips Will off. Until little Hunter shows up on his doorstep, Darius is the same sad, bitter, miserable man he was at this point in canon, minus a child to bully. Will may not ever show his face, but Darius still feels like Jasper is being replaced and he doesn't like the new Golden Guard. Maybe he likes him even less than he liked canon!Hunter--it took 13 years for Hunter to become the Golden Guard, but here Jasper disappears and Will is taking his place a year or two later? Ouch. Darius would NOT be happy with that.

Darius maybe says something like "You ought to know that your predecessor's magic was far more impressive than yours, but all his hard work was hardly ever appreciated. You'd best not take the Emperor's favor for granted." And Will is just like. Okay. Jasper was a super-powerful witch and Belos didn't care about him much, but he claims to care about me a LOT. What the HELL was going on there??

Moving on - I posit that Will is highly competent at his job. And I don't just mean that in a super-cool ass-kicking Golden Guard way. I mean he has leadership skills out the wazoo, both in the field and in the office. In the field he does his best to minimize casualties, his briefings give his scouts clear goals, plans, and backup plans, he doesn't throw scouts over a cliff just cuz he's frustrated. In the office his managerial skills are top-knotch. He understands the powers of administration and delegation. He prioritizes communication and constructive criticism and recognizes hard work. He's the manager that someone tells you they have and you're immediately jealous because that guy is an AWESOME manager.

Belos gave Will power and responsibilities and he uses them wisely. The Emperor's Coven has never been as efficient as it is under this man. (He is so frustrated by how long it took to MAKE it that efficient. The coven is supposed to be the Emperor's fist, but Belos doesn't seem interested in doing what it takes to make sure said fist hits as hard as possible. Why are they all so sleep-deprived? Why do they only get one day off?? It took YEARS for Will to convince Belos to give them quarterly days off. It's like the guy WANTS them overworked and miserable.)

The coven scouts LOVE Will. He has their back and they're happy to have his.

Will doesn't like how Belos treats his coven scouts.

And then we have Lilith.

Now, after everything I've suggested, we COULD say that maybe Lilith doesn't mind Will. Maybe she'd want to foster a good relationship with him to build up her own favor with the Emperor. But this is Lilith, she's kind of full of herself and has been a Coven Head for a few years by the time Will shows up and she knows how Belos treated Jasper. Maybe she expects this Golden Guard to be the same, and she's too used to the castle's games, and she says one too many snide things and ends up on Will's bad side before she realizes the rules have changed. I don't think they'd be antagonistic towards each other, but they certainly don't LIKE each other much. Or she doesn't like him, and he's just decided to deal with her as little as possible.

It probably drives her crazy that he's ACTUALLY good at his job. Like, the Emperor favors him, and it's FOR GOOD REASON. UGH.

They still have a working relationship though, because she can grit her teeth and deal and Will is a consummate professional. She's told him everything she knows about Jasper for the sake of the investigation. She doesn't teach him how to teleport, though.

But the whole situation with Jasper is starting to form cracks under her feet. Jasper was loyal. She knows Jasper was loyal. Belos beat him bloody and tore up his face and Jasper just took it. He did everything Belos ever said, and oh, it was amusing to watch when he got in trouble, but she can't deny that Jasper was insanely good at his job and followed Belos's orders to the letter and was incredibly loyal until he suddenly wasn't.

And the moment he stopped being loyal, Belos immediately called for the death of his most trusted servant. Over a decade of service and dark deeds done in the Emperor's name, and it bought him zero leniency.

Eda has never been loyal to the Emperor. Eda has never cared for the empire. Eda has been an active criminal for decades. She breaks the law on a daily basis and flaunts it. She is very publicly vocal about how much she hates the system. She has done absolutely nothing to earn the Emperor's mercy, and if someone as loyal as Jasper can't even be granted that mercy, then how can Lilith trust that Belos will--

She'd be in denial for a long while, of course, but the cognitive dissonance is THERE. Heck, maybe Will is even the one to make it fully click in her head. She's talking to him about some upcoming mission to capture Eda, humble-bragging about how great it'll be to have her sister by her side in the coven, they'll be an unstoppable force and a valued asset to the Emperor--

And Will, who's getting fed up with how fishy everything in this castle is, just looks at her like. Wait, the Emperor's super strong at healing curses? Why hasn't he been able to heal his own? That would be way more efficient than inhaling palisman. Or he just snorts like yeah, sure, and Jasper's gonna be so happy I held down the fort for him while he was away on sabbatical.

And Lilith has to excuse herself and go to her room and pace a hole into the carpet because fuck. FUCK. She doesn't want this to be a lie, she NEEDS this to be real, but she can't deny that there are discrepancies that just. Aren't adding up.

She might not become a rebel. But she might become a bit less zealous about taking Eda in. Oh, she still ACTS committed to doing so, but her actual attempts don't have the same bite. She starts digging into things she may have ignored before - feeling out what Belos's agenda is, researching forbidden history, what even IS the Day of Unity and why are all the Emperor's explanations such non-answers? And at first she maybe does it in a desperate attempt to convince herself that no, NO, Belos is perfect and right and I'm not wrong. But the more she looks the more she sees.

She doesn't know what to DO with it. Rebellion is probably still out of the question, she's not quite there yet. But she doesn't want to be alone with this, she's reeling and questioning everything and it's driving her crazy. She can't tell Eda, her sister would hoot and holler and say I told you so, and she doesn't need that.

So who's someone Lilith would know, and be predisposed to trust, and was kind of open about the fact that they were joining the coven system to try and improve it from the inside?

Raine Whispers.

YESSSS OKAY I LOVE BASICALLY ALL THIS

I think Lilith stays covenhead, it seems like it might be a "until you die" position. But will IS still in charge of a lot of military stuff. He never speaks, but he can still issue written orders, like, sending an illusory note telling people where to report or what shift to take.

Will is cool and efficient. He questions Belos a little more often than he would like. If Belos tells him to go burn some wild witches house down and then fight and capture them, well-- that's stupid. I'll just sleeping nettle them and take them in peacefully. He always gets the job done, but not necessarily how he's asked. I think he DOES pass a lot of reforms to make the emperor's coven more efficient, but he's so scary and off-putting because he never speaks and just sort of looms over anyone that tries to talk to him, people still avoid him. He's more well liked than jasper was, but he is scary. Unlike jasper, though, they do think he's a person. Unlike jasper; whom they had rumour about like he didn't bleed or couldn't be killed. He's just more... Elusive.

I think will is also a lot stricter than jasper. Just not sloppy.

GOD I LOVE LILITH AND RAINE TEAMING UP THO THATS SO FUCKING GOOD AHHHHHHH omg... Neither of them are ready to involve Eda but... Omg. Will asks why they don't just bring the owl lady in. we've never REALLY pursued her effectively. And Belos says some dismissive shit and to let Lilith worry about it. But will is like. That's dumb. I'll put together an outfit and just go get her right now. Uh oh!

[felice-jaganshi]

Alastor's Leash

Chapter 8

(Here we go, finally got to my favorite part! Everyone excited?!)

Alastor felt another tug on his soul. Except this time, it wasn't the cold, sickly sweet feel of Lilith's tug… it was warm, like whiskey in his veins. An image came to his mind, a fox sniffing the ground, hunting. Zariah? No, shit! If she found him, Lilith would kill her! He had to protect her! His eyes were useless right now, but he still had his ears! He stood up, despite his deer instincts insisting he stay still while blinded like this. No, he was stronger than any stupid “instinct”! He was a demon, a powerful monster, and by damn it all, HE WOULD MOVE!

He tugged at his chains, trying to break them. Before he could really make any progress, he heard the sound of the door opening. Fuck, had she come back already?!

 

_-_--__--_- 

Soon as the door opened Al heard a sob and feet rushing towards him. 

“Al!�� It was Zariah! He remained completely frozen when he heard her, trying not to react in case Lilith was there. He couldn't be sure.

Vox huffed and turned down the lights, “The fuck is it so bright in here for?!” 

Now that got Alastor's reaction, “V-vox?” He turned his head, but still couldn't see. He felt soft hands on his cheeks and felt warmth fill not just his face, but his soul.

“Al, it's okay, we're gonna get you out of here.”

“N-no, you shouldn't be here. She'll kill you. How did you get here?” His vision slowly returned to him and her worried smile was so lovely to see, but also left him terrified. 

 

“Ugh, just be glad she loves you enough to fucking rescue your worthless ass!” Vox growled and started trying to cut the chains.

 

“That's a waste of time, they're her power over me. The symbol of her Contract.” He hated telling Vox, but Zariah needed to know how hopeless the situation was.

“My soul belongs to her completely. I am essentially a Puppet for her to do with as she will and this is what happens when I disobey an order.”

Zariah focused on healing him, placing a kiss to his bloodied forehead. Vox looked away, feeling a strange mix of feelings from… all of this.

 

“Fine, then we just need to break your contract. You've said your half, but what does she give you? There's always an equivalent side to these things.”

 

“...Her not killing me was the deal. I lost to her in battle, so in exchange for not killing me, my soul is hers until I find someone I'd willingly give it to.” He scrunched his nose in distaste as his grin turned sour.

 

Zariah's eyes lit up, “Al… do you trust me?”  She asked, she finished healing him, and all the knives were out at least.

He smiled fondly at her, “ Mon Amour … yes, I do.”

“Then… offer me your soul. If you give it to me, it'll break your deal with Lilith!” She looked serious, and Alastor's eyes filled with panic and fear. 

It was just… instinctive! Of course he'd be afraid of giving someone else control of him! Even if that someone was kind and caring… People change when they have power over you. They always do.

“I… I can't.” He looked away.

Vox laughed, “Ha! Fucking coward! Afraid of the one person who'd never fucking betray you?! Can't believe I ever wanted what you two fucking have! What- what a joke!” He smirked at Alastor, “You'll never change. You'll never really trust or love anyone.”

Alastor growled at him, “Oh shut up Vox, you only ever wanted me for your perverted-”

 

“OH FUCK NO!” Vox cut him off with a full volume shout, “You NEVER let me explain myself back then! All I wanted was a special name for us! To call what we had special! I didn't want to fuck you! I just wanted us to be special! Literally what you have with the fox bimbo!”

 

Zariah pouted at that, “Hey… Imma bite you later for that one.”

 

“Like you could actually be satisfied with that kind of relationship? I've seen how frequently you enjoyed taking men and women to your room back then, it'd only be a matter of time before you desired more than I was willing to give.” Alastor huffed, refusing to lose at this.

 

“No I fucking wouldn't! I'd still be fucking other people Al! I'm not asking us to be exclusive! I just wanted to hold my best friend!” Vox started crying angry tears. “Why are you so fucking stupid?! You big dumb asshole! I fucking love you, and I just wanted to be special to you! Just wanted you to know you were special to me too.” He tried to wipe his screen, but it didn't stop the tears. Zariah frowned and got up from Al, hugged Vox and let him loudly sob on her shoulder.

 

Alastor watched them with confusion… they were getting along?? Why?! Shouldn't Zariah hate that someone else loved him like she did?

“I… don't understand either of you at all…” He confessed.

He then took a deep breath, 

“You know… back before Lucifer's wedding, I gave him some advice. I told him if he was a real man, to grow a spine and believe in himself, and to believe in his beloved… I think it's time I took my own advice. Zariah… I give you my soul. Freely of my own will, it is yours to do with what you will.” He felt his heart racing as he said the words, it felt like ice was flowing in his veins and everything inside him screamed this was a mistake.

 

The chains suddenly disappeared from his body and he fell forward, exhaustion overtaking him for a moment. Zariah let go of Vox and went to help him sit back up. She held his face in both of her hands, and gently kissed his forehead. “I accept your offer. I'll keep it safe and sound. Just like you have mine, remember?” She asked, she summoned the chain for their soul deal, only for it to have changed forms. It was now a ring around each of their ring fingers, connected by a chain. It was a combination of his green, and her blue, swirling together. 

 

He nodded, looking at the ring. He put one hand around his neck, glad to only feel skin there and not another collar of some kind. This… wasn't so bad… he'd already been through this with her and Rosie months ago… It was an equivalent exchange. They owned each other… which would have metaphorically happened with the wedding anyway. He took a deep breath. “Don't… make me regret this… please.” He sounded so tired and defeated. So vulnerable. 

 

She hugged him and purred, “It's okay Al, you're safe now. I promise, I'll never hurt you. I love you.”

 

Vox huffed, “That's great and all, now how about we go out there and kick Lilith's ass? The others are waiting for us.”

[kraviolis]

ive got so many random boiling isles worldbuilding HCs in my head but i dont have a way to share them besides just random posts. so here's a random post about one of my headcanons.

there's no modern human holidays in the boiling isles (like christmas, passover, halloween, etc.) but there IS holidays that are widely celebrated by witches like samhain, yule, beltane, the equinoxes-- which i know people do actively follow and celebrate nowadays but i mean more of the ancient ways of celebration. like, live animal sacrifices and everything.

i like to think that demons have similar holidays to witches but different names/traditions. like witches have yule, but demons have krampusnacht. and obviously while there is a lot of similarity with how humans celebrated those holidays, there's obviously a creepy/weird/magic spin on them.

like on yule they do an animal sacrifice to the titan and then eat the animal & burn the inedible parts in a magical fire. but the sacrifice maybe isn't just straight forward, and is more like a hunting competition for the whole family where the one who actually kills the animal gets a special prize. like getting the best cut of the meat or getting to open their presents first.

im specifically imagining eda & lilith as girls both throwing everything they have at this beast they're hunting down and eda getting the kill in the end and gloating all smugly at lilith. with all my headcanons i usually default to imagining the clawthornes doing the thing to see if it's something that feels like it fits in with the world.

also samhain im specifically imagining to be like. less of a halloween or dia de la muertos type of holiday, but more of like... where they are appreciative and thankful to the titan for giving them magic by abstaining from using magic for the day or something. like fasting sorta. it's more of a serious holiday in my mind, where you spend it at home with family or you go to grand galas that usually have some type of charity aspect to them. the emperor's coven holds a samhain gala every year and invites mostly only the wealthy & powerful & their biggest supporters (the blights get an invitation every single year, for instance) & also the coven scouts who performed the best that year. usually theres also a charity auction.

krampusnacht for demons i think would be more set in legend & myth than simple tradition or reverence for the titan. it's 100% kings favorite holiday. it's gotta be about the Krampus, a terrifyingly powerful demon who could travel between the human realm and demon realm at will. maybe the krampus lost its powers somehow and got trapped in the human realm? maybe its even believed that the krampus was The First Demon or something. anyways, demons do sacrifices or more specific things to appease or give it strength so it can gather enough power to temporarily come back and give little gifts to all the demon children sleeping soundly in their beds before going back to the human realm to wreak terror on the human children. maybe that part is more like, for the kids, but the sacrificing stuff in krampus's honor is definitely the main point.

i can literally imagine a full owl house episode in my head of luz learning about yule & krampusnacht from eda & king respectively and trying to help both of them with their traditions and rituals and stuff but actually having a really hard time with some of the stuff-- like the hunting & sacrificing parts for sure (she is the daughter of a vet, after all) but like, they always did their best to follow the traditions of her human holidays that she shared even if they were apprehensive at first so she really wants to be active and engage with them and be more open minded. so instead of voicing her discomfort or upset over the more gruesome parts, she tries so hard to go along with it but at the very last second she ends up not being able to do it and takes off.

then luz feels so guilty bcus these traditions are obviously really important to the both of them and they're including her because she's family and she doesnt want them to think she's rejecting them but in the end king and eda are obviously just like "you dingdong you dont have to force yourself to do stuff you're uncomfortable with just to make us happy! we care about you more than any traditions, no matter how badly we want you to do them with us!" and they find ways to adjust their traditions, like instead of killing the beast they just capture it humanely and then let it go, or instead of doing live sacrifices they just get a pre-killed animal from a butcher and do the burning of the inedible parts, all so luz can feel better about participating in them :-)

and for samhain, i bet at first king never really celebrated it bcus he couldnt do magic but always liked getting to spend it with eda and pulling pranks on her bcus even she would abstain from magic for a day (she def does it bcus her dad has always been super into giving thanks to the titan and treats the nature of the isles with a lot of reverence due to his career as a palisman carver-- think about how eda encouraged luz to connect with the isles! her dad 100% did the same stuff with her!!)

after learning about his dad, king probably spends samhain in remembrance. i like to think the first samhain after he finds out about his heritage, luz & eda take him to pick some flowers and luz uses the memory-tweezers to show him what his dad looked like and they make a little shrine for his dad with the photograph at the center and all three of them spend the day together

[queermania]

You can interpret Sam's and Dean's fights in season 4 as Sam choosing revenge and Dean being mad that Sam is being shady but that doesn't make it actual text. It's just your interpretation.

i mean most things i think about the show are my interpretation but this particular thing is not and i know this because when they're compelled to air out their grievances by the siren and aren't sugarcoating it for each other this is what dean says:

And it's not the demon blood or the psychic crap. It's the little stuff. The lies. The secrets.

and this is what sam says:

OK, fine. You know why I didn't tell you about Ruby, and how we're hunting down Lilith? Because you're too weak to go after her, Dean. You're holding me back. I'm a better hunter than you are. Stronger, smarter. I can take out demons you're too scared to go near.

this is them both being 100% honest about what they're feeling because they have zero reason to lie. they're trying to kill each other. so, on this one particular point, i am not interpreting anything. this is the actual text of the show. sorry.

[candieddemon]

I watched Michael Knowles video on Hazbin Hotel so you don't have to.

I have sectioned off this post so you can just read the funny bits (in bold), there's a warning in the second paragraph, and some introductions to this in the beginning. I can't put subway surfer gameplay next to my blog but I hope this will do. I was shared a funny video about a highly religious YouTuber named Michael Knowles, which by the way no witch hunting it doesn't accomplish anything, and I found the video hilarious but I will give some warnings.

His content can be incredibly offensive. He's proud of this but despite having nearly 2 million subscribers his last videos, which he posted in the past 24 hours, all have under 60k views one of which only has 11k. Despite the whole point of being a content creator is to be likeable and make content people like I'm sure he'll complain about cancel culture being the reason he's failing any day now. That's what people like him say to justify people not liking them. I'm also making this post because, even if you're not worried about certain triggers, this dude will not get out of my recommendations. I'm legitimately considering getting a new Google account. He is completely unironic although it wasn't until I watched a couple other videos to know this. I'm not making the typical "haha I thought this was satire it's so bad" joke I mean I genuinely thought in all honesty he was satirical. His whole personality is about how he thinks he's right about everything. The first line in his YouTube bio is "Bask in the simple joys of being right". That and about leftists yada yada. He doesn't have beliefs of his own, he's just an echo. He looks and sounds like a discount Ben Shapiro and even I think that's too mean against Ben Shapiro. He has a cup with "leftists tears" on his desk. To make your whole personality about how you hate everything must be miserable. Extremely, miserable. The amount of effort this dude spends trying to claim his mentality doesn't make him miserable is incredibly telling and the cognitive dissonance to dedicate a channel to things that offend you and then to claim you do it because others get offended so easily is incredible, but back to the main subject. The video actually starts of interesting. Hazbin Hotel has inspirations from various myths and legends and this person knows a lot about them and shares some light on where Vivziepop probably got some of the plot points from (e.g. How Lilith is portrayed in Judaism). It is all down hill from here though. This is me trying to be, no pun intended, open minded and a devil's advocate.

Despite the show being rated 18+ he claims it is for children and then after he's made up in his head it's specifically made for children he gets angry because of that. He talks a bit about "hook up culture" and does not seem to understand that two people hooking up can be beneficial for both people involved. That sex between two people can be an equal exchange for them. I feel so sorry for his wife. He also goes into how demons can't love but Hazbin Hotel of course does a great job at questioning this subject. If Hell is forever it doesn't make sense. Do you humans lose free will the moment they enter heaven? They're immortal at this point eventually they'll sin so would they not go to hell or is it inevitable even if you make it into heaven you're eventually damned for eternity? Can angels do whatever an remain in the sky? In the bible Lucifer shows there's a limit to what you can do so it is possible. However, Michael Knowles usually only tackles dilemmas he has an answer to and even then they're not great answers. He talks about how Eve was considered an equal to Adam in the bible but then goes into how Eve completely submits to Adam which would not be equal. Do keep in mind he watches the opening season to episode one and that is it. The rest of the show could expose him to a few too many beliefs that he doesn't share and we can't have that. He goes into how the right is riled up, radicalism, and satanism. This was a roller coaster the first time I watched it because the first minute or two I'm like "Oh cool it's kind of educational" and then the rest I'm like "Is this some sort of dry humor I'm not picking up?". "Leftism from the beginning has been a rebellion against God".

[gremlinshenanigans]

Aroace Hunter week day 4! A day late! Because life decided I should have 0 free time yesterday and I wanted to write this.

@sergeantsporks

Hunter stood in front of the Clawthrone estate door. He shifted from leg to leg, debating if he should knock.

On one hand, this was the easiest place to find help in his research. There weren't many books on grimwalkers, at least ones that weren't fables, and Luz had said Eda and Lilith had had an interest in myths and legends.

On the other hand, it involved Lilith, and he wasn't sure what he thought of that yet. This wasn't the Emperor's coven, but they hadn't talked since then either. It could get messy.

He sighed, deciding to trust Luz's judgment and knocked.

"Coming!"

Lilith opened the door, her expression souring when she saw him.

"Hunter. Dad isn't here, you should come by later."

Off to a great start. Hunter thought.

"Actually, I need your help with something. I'm researching grimwalkers, Luz said you could-you would help."

"I- well- if Luz said so," she huffed, "but grimwalkers? Why in Titan's name would you research those?"

"No reason-" She gasped, stopping him from finishing.

"Are you trying to bring Belos back?!" she summoned her staff, pointing it at Hunter's chest.

Hunter backed up. "No?! Why is that your first idea?! I hate him!"

Lilith squinted at him. They stood like that for a moment, ready for a fight. Lilith lowered her staff first, and let out a sigh.

"Maybe that was uncalled for."

"You think?"

Hunter glared at her. She glared right back, but didn't argue further.

"Grimwalkers, you said? I think I have some books that may help."

She stepped deeper into the house, holding the door open for Hunter. He hesitantly walked in.

"You can sit down while I get them." she pointed to the couch. Hunter walked over and took a seat, hardly relaxing.

A minute in and she's accusing me of wanting Belos back. Wonderful.

He heard rummaging upstairs, and ocassional cursing. Soon, she came back down, a small stack of books in her hands.

"Those are all about grimwalkers?" He sat up, momentarily forgetting their previous talk.

"Unfortunately, no, but I believe they could contain some information. Here, you can start from these ones." She divided the stack into two, and sat down across from him. Silence filled the room, broken only by the sound of turning pages and occasional muttering. There wasn't much information in the books on Hunter's end. Most were legends and fables, ocassionally a theory or two. Nothing he didn't know already.

"What are you looking for, exactly?" Lilith asked. Hunter snapped his eyes up. He had forgotten she was there.

"Anything, really. How they're made, I guess?"

She squinted at him again.

"I'm not bringing Belos back." he snapped.

"I doubt you could if you wanted to." she leaned forward, "Most of these are incredibly difficult to find, or impossible."

"You found it?"

Lilith nodded, and turned to book to Hunter.

She started listing the ingredients as he read.

"Palistorm wood,"

Guess that's how you saved me, Flap.

"Selkidomus scales,"

That's why I was sent to hunt them.

"Stonesleeper lungs,"

Hunter took a deep breath.

"A galderstone, for a heart,"

He touched his chest.

"And a bone of the orter species. Half of these are nigh impossible to get." 

Hunter nodded, keeping his breath even.

Most of the books he'd read mentioned an ingridient or two, usually to highlight how horrible making a grimwalker was. This one had a full list, and it aligned with what he had found in the few scholarly books there were.

The writer was more sure of it than the others, writing it down as if it were a fact. He reached out to take the book, and Lilith let him. She sat down by him, both focused on the reading. There was more, instructions on what to do with the ingredients, and the differences a grimwalker may have. It mentioned the magenta eyes. That's the one thing all the stories had in common.

"Where did you find this?" He asked.

"I believe it came from the castle, or what was left of it. I forgot I had it, I thought it was a lost history book."

Of course that's where it was found. Belos must have used it to make all the golden guards. Hunter too. He scrunched his nose at the thought.

Lilith closed the book and got up to put it back on the pile. There was more Hunter wanted to read, but he wasn't sure he was ready to go through it right away.

"Did you get what you wanted?" she asked.

"Yes."

The room went silent again. Hunter leaned into the couch, thinking about what he had learned, or more confirmed, really. With the same book Belos presumably used.

Lilith watched him as he was lost in thought, going through a realization of her own.

"Hunter?"

"Mm?"

"I'm sorry for accusing you of wanting to bring Belos back. I hadn't thought about...what he could have been like to you, I heard some of what happened in the human realm but," she sighed, "I was too stuck on how it was in the coven. He must have treated you as bad as the rest of us even then."

Hunter blinked at her. He had thought about how the visit may go, and this was nowhere near it. The fight when he first arrived was more what he expected.

"And I'm sorry how I treated you in the coven." she blurted out.

"Uh, I- thank you? It's the past now, anyway."

She nodded, looking away and they were silent once again. Hunter spoke up first.

"I'll head out now, thank you for the help."

"Oh, of course! Take the book with you."

"Are you sure?"

"Consider it part of the apology."

Hunter nodded and took the book, hugging it to his chest.

"Bye, Lilith"

"Bye, Hunter. Come again, if you need more help."

He gave her a small smile.

"I will, thank you."

I'll have to thank Luz too.

[dyed-red]

phyn! happy wincest wednesday! I am thinking about how Sam and Dean are both not great at sharing their feelings. they're inconsistent and bottle everything up until they blow up at each other. do you have anything to share about FEELINGS and the ways the brothers are similar, and different, in how they handle theirs? not sure where I'm going with this but have at 'er

mmmmmmm feelings. they taste so good when they're all suppressed and thorny. this is all opinion and initial thoughts and a super long post but here we go:

-

Similarities

Compartmentalization is the big one, to me. Although there are some differences in what and how they compartmentalize, both of them are masters at it. Dean is a bit more blunt about this, especially early on, although I'd argue the pendulum sort of swings at a certain point and we've got Sam with more boxes of unacknowledged shit he's placed in carefully organized rows down in the depths somewhere.

they're also both far more likely to use problem-focused coping, sam especially in the early seasons despite how he tries to get others to acknowledge their emotions. from seasons 1-4, at least, possibly including s5, sam's main (only?) coping skill is to Solve The Problem. this often looks like identifying the issue, researching it, finding a solution, committee 200% to that solution no matter how insane it might be, and putting that plan in motion.

(see: driving the impala into a derelict house in the pilot, the entire episode of Faith, the way he throws himself at finding dad and then at the yellow-eyed demon all to the detriment of saving others and his own life until dean pulls him back from whichever ledge it happens to be this week, the way he approaches the special kids stuff, then the entirety of season 3, and especially how this manifests in both mystery spot and the period we see in 'i know what you did last summer' when dean was dead, and it's part of what makes him so susceptible to ruby who promises solutions, and part of how he ends up rationalizing blood drinking and the kill lilith at all costs attitude)

and i put this under similarities because while dean is actually honestly genuinely better at emotion-focused coping than sam is in those early seasons, he is very solution-oriented in how he tries to approach feelings and emotional issues. this is most especially true for the big things as well: he wants to solve sam's grief in season 1 and he wants to do it by throwing him at women, he decides to solve sam's death by selling his own soul, he even attempts to (re)solve dad's orders to kill sam if needed by trying to convince sam that they should maybe give up hunting early in s2 (it's a weak and half-hearted attempt but worth noting).

and then of course there is just straight-up suppression. play through the pain, push it down and let it come out through bouts of alcoholism and violence, Do Not Talk About It even if you acknowledge its impact on you (sam and his grief over jess, both of them over john's death, dean eventually and his time in hell). this is different than compartmentalization in that it's there on the surface in a huge way and it's plain as day and you know it and acknowledge it but there's nothing you can do about it so you just sort of ignore it and refuse to sit with it or talk about it and just... continue existing with this wound bleeding inward or outward.

(see: getting angry and breaking things, being reckless or self-destructive and endangering self and others, etc. this is not a tactic that works. this is bottle up and explode.)

distractions is one i should mention here too, as one of their core (more healthy and adaptive) emotion-focused coping strategy, but i'm tempted to talk about it more under differences because they have really different distraction methods except for one. they both use fresh/new hunts to distract themselves from whatever it is that is causing them stress or pain.

Differences

continuing on the thread of distractions, dean uses media and escapism through narrative in a way sam simply Does Not. dean watches scooby-doo and horror movies and explicitly says he enjoys the escape and knowing that the bad guy is going to lose in the end. he references books and quotes them far more frequently than sam, everything from aesop to vonnegut, and we know that he loves music quite a bit, probably part of how he drowns out reality or escapes from it when he needs to.

in general, i think dean also dissociates more than sam does. this is integral in some of that 'dean as object' stuff. he separates himself from his physical body and steps behind it and away, so that what is happening to his body isn't happening to him, often when a monster or demon is threatening and implying some sexual violence.

conversely i think sam rationalizes and medicalizes a fair amount. he wants to understand and be able to explain (at least to himself) what his emotions are and what he's going through, because / as if the ability to understand and explain it provides a degree of power over it. sam craves control, and rationalizing affords illusory control over his emotions, allowing him to convince himself he has mastery over those feelings even when he's in fact very off the rails and being dragged around by his emotions like a dog on a leash.

this tends to mean that sam is up in his head explaining and re-explaining his own shit to himself until he's got a handle on it, and dean is out of his head escaping.

sam uses distractions as well, as i said with a new hunt, and with reading the lore. the lore thing is two-fold though -- it provides a sense of control over things again, illusory or real, because that knowledge can help in a pinch, even if it's not related to a current case. so he can kind of convince himself he's reading for work or for a present problem or that it will be helpful, even when he's using it as a distraction.

sam also somatizes more, i think, which is when your psychological stresses manifest in your physical body. we're dipping a little into headcanon territory here but i picture him as someone more prone to headaches and stomach aches than dean as a result of stress and anxiety (dean's stomach aches are earned through eating food he shouldn't have).

i connect this partly to sam's clean living/eating/exercising more as time goes on, although that is also about control. much like reading the lore 'just in case' and developing encyclopedic knowledge of things they may encounter no matter how far-fetched, eating well and exercising affords a small advantage against monsters.

exercising as a coping mechanism more general can also be a way to distract oneself and is a good emotion-focused coping mechanism when used to get restless energy out and improve one's mood. i think sam does use exercise adaptively and healthily like this and it's generally good for him, but yeah that it can and does tend toward obsessive control/coping sometimes.

something i think they do in different ways is also their problem- and emotion-focused approach to 'tend and befriend'. we can cope with our own shit sometimes by getting out of our own heads and focusing on others instead -- helping them with their problems or giving them stuff or just generally socially connecting with laughter and fun.

on this, sam likes to find a person experiencing a problem, get them to open up, provide empathy or offer words of support, and in so doing, stop focusing or worrying so much about his own shit. he does this with dean but also with victims on cases and gets more out of hearing about their issues and offering them advice/support than dean does. dean will engage in the practice too, but it doesn't emotionally feed him the way it does with sam, who processes his own emotions through empathizes with others, and dean does it out of necessity more than anything.

in contrast, dean likes to solve another person's problems for them (see: trying to throw sam at women) or distract himself by hearing about what is going on with others (see: asking cas to distract him when crowley and gadreel are co-possessing sam). solving their shit allows him to stop worrying about it or allows him space to process his stuff, potentially by hearing about theirs and having his own churn themselves along alongside the other person's, or in the meantime.

relatedly, dean also tends to mother hen others, and in so doing he uses caretaking as a means of coping with his own shit. this is part of dean's illusory control methods, because it affords him the sense that he's doing a job and if he does it right then things will be okay. he engages in caretaking by identifying and meeting the needs of others, and this is distinct from him trying to solve their problems only in how it tends to be more emotional, whether that's being 4 or 5 years old telling his mom things will be okay, as an adult pointing out bobby's drinking and later giving him whatever speeches he needs after he's become paralyzed from the waist down, and manifests in so many ways with john and with sam it's not worth counting.

-

tl;dr

while both brothers use compartmentalization, suppression, helping others, and distractions at a broad level, at a more specific level, both sam and dean have very different emotion-focused coping mechanisms, and different ways their problem-focused coping manifests.

sam hits his head against a problem until it cracks open, and does so rigidly and to his own (and the planet's) detriment until he is forced to learn some more emotion-focused coping mechanisms after the cage. he is always seeking a sense of control so he reads lore, eats well, pushes his body, and rationalizes/medicalizes until he can gain a sense of control. some of this is adaptive. eventually he learns to sit with his emotions enough to process them as they arise and threaten to overwhelm or overtake him, which allows him to compartmentalize them more effectively as needed.

dean copes with a similar sense of helplessness by distracting himself from the issue through hunting and the job, and sometimes through narrative transportation and by taking care of others, all of which can be adaptive for the smaller issues or one-off hurts, but causes him a lot more pain with the big stuff like his betrayal over sam going to stanford or his emotions about his father (john's death and his treatment of dean and their messed up dynamic all included) or what hell wrought on him. when bigger hurts stack up, much like sam, he is eventually forced to learn more adaptive or flexible ways to navigate overwhelming feelings, which i tend to think involves sitting with them and acknowledging them and allowing himself to think about them, something i don't think he did when he was younger except when he lost control over his compartmentalizing, but that allows him to go over them and then set them aside better, when ready.

for both of them, when circumstances demand or emotions overwhelm, they will open up and talk out or acknowledge the emotion. this tends to manifest in distressed sadness from dean and in distressed anger from sam, when they're at their wits' end, with dean expressing shame but seldom guilt, and sam expressing guilt but seldom shame. exceptions include how dean expresses guilt over ways he's hurt sam or others and how sam expresses shame over actions taken related to victimized aspects of himself. at the end of the day though, they both get better and more adaptive and healthy as time goes on at sitting with their feelings instead of trying to control or ignore them.

[hisui555]

Hazbin Hotel thoughts : Foils 5

Masterpost here

Been a little while, I got myself into some RP for the first time ever. Managed to burn Lucifer's tower down on the first day while being a litteral little gremlin from the dumpsters. That sums it up pretty well.

Oh, and it's the first time I've RP-ed ever.

Anyway, for your inane Foils rambling of the day, my dumb brain cooked up a weird one : Adam (and Exorcists) VS Hell. Obvious, I know, but let's get more into depth about it, shall we ?

So to call Adam an obnoxious psychotic fratbro with all the emotional development of a bratty toddler would be kind of an understatement. Which in itself is an understatement too, to Inception levels. Adam is the First Man, one of the two oldest existing humans alive, turned angel to everyone's bafflement as the very first human soul in Heaven, and given the mystery that looms in the background of the show, it's yet to be seen just how in the bloody world he managed that. From the beginning, he's someone trying to impose his will on someone else, in his case Lilith, who made the utterly sacrilegious decision to stand up for herself and be an independent, emancipated person with boundaries to respect. I know, right ? Crazy.

And given how he reacts to Lucifer's taunting (if this short king really did score the two, it'll be hilarious), Golden KFC-man is tryharding to compensate. But he's also endearing in his brattiness, in his own way, leaning into it so heavily he'd topple Pisa, that he crosses back into funny, despite the genocidal tendencies (which for their part are played for all the horror necessary). And this... is kinda reminiscent of Hell in the show : it's a sordid, horrible place, but a good bucket of dark laughs are derived from it because of how horrible it is. Adam even admits to Charlie that he "likes the vibe", but prides himself on being in Heaven when he clearly didn't deserved any of it.

His own physical appearance, past the gold-blue-white color palette, has horns and shark teeth for the helmet, spikes for the rocker imagery - that, in passing, is often associated with demons and Hell too - and his color scheme dives down to dark blue in the last episode, when ready for battle. While he does look like the most average human ever underneath, it's quite interesting to see that Adam with a color swap and changing nothing else would fit right at home in Hell. Same thing for the Exorcists when in uniform : monochrome, outright more creepy looking than most demons, they actually look like classic demons (minus the tails) unlike the creative diversity of physionomies in Hell, that Heaven mirrors with its own twist on it.

It's kinda like watching a clichéd stereotype costume versus the real thing : Heaven is so out of touch with what's going on below that the Exorcists end up being a mockery of what they mass-hunt, for extra petty points (kinda reminds of what Native Americans went through. Yep. Not a happy thought). And they are just as bloodthirsty, if not more, than the demons themselves (giving you a hard sideglance, Lute), to the point of fanaticism - something that could actually be seen in HELL. Let's repeat, this is their whole activity that shows up once per year, and let's speculate that they do some training, but outside of that ? Plus, they're so confident in themselves that their fighting tactic looks more like "stick weapon into demon and move onto the next" than anything advanced, and didn't see it coming that their own weapons can perma-disconnect them from god's Wi-fi. This is suicidal overconfidence right there - again, something better seen in Hell.

Which makes it very interesting if you put Adam VS Charlie from a virtues and sins point of view : Charlie the Hellborn demon, daughter of Lucifer (who is the embodiment of a Sin himself, namely Pride), checks all virtues while Adam checks all capital sins :

He's wrathful and a revenge-seeker, hating being dismissed or put into question (seething with rage when Charlie and Emily call him indirectly out on his behavior, along Lute), while she's kind and patient, only calling onto anger in rightful situations.

He's often seen stuffing his face with food (ribs) and drinks on various photos and in person, and has a noticeable gut - something Lucifer remarks on that he "kinda let himself go". Charlie is all down for a good drink after a hard day of work, and while Husk mentions that she can get drunk to the point of spouting insecurities, it doesn't happen often and she knows that overindulging is bad. She also makes efforts to get rid of Angel's stash of drugs.

Talking about Adam's libido would be like trying to barge into open doors : he jumps on whoever he wants and even throws a tantrum when someone has no interest in him, like a certain "Virtue chick". He constantly makes crass remarks, finds Charlie and Vaggie's relationship "hot as fuck though" and basically his moral compass has a dick-shaped arrow. Charlie practices temperance and advocates the healthier parts of chastity, since losing oneself into lust isn't a good thing in the long run, but she also seems to lead a happy intimate life with her girlfriend.

The lust thing also ties about Adam's envy issues : Lucifer literally out bow-chicka-wow-wowed him, his first wife left, and Adam is overcompensating hard, pun unintended. Whatever others have or do, he'll want better or do better. He's in for his own comfort and fun, and whenever there's a threat of something better he doesn't have, he wants it. He HAS to be on top, or else the world might as well stop functioning, and is seen seeking Sera's approval. He'll try to sabotage everything out of pettiness, just like he outed Vaggie's true identity to Charlie, because the latter pointed out the truth. Charlie, on her side, is selfless, generous and genuinely wanting to help out, no matter the sometimes litteral cost. She took in Angel and Pentious, offered them a chance to be better, and doesn't resent them for their faults. For someone born as a Princess, she'd rather be addressed as a commoner and hates using her title to force things ("But that's so meaaaan !").

Adam is a selfish bastard that's all take and no give, hinted at his first rejection with Lilith. He thinks that, as the First Man, he's entitled to everything and should be given whatever he wants immediately. Charlie is very much the opposite, even being a bit too much give and almost no take.

Laziness ? Well, goes right in hand with letting himself go. Outside of the Exterminations, he barely does anything, and when he does, he makes it all about him. He's sitting on his own laurels due to the "achievement" of being the first human soul in Heaven, and hasn't bothered adapting his behavior any bit since. Charlie on her own side is diligent, committing to her wishes and dreams to save Sinners and redempt them that she's literally outside during (or right after) an Extermination, as seen when she meets Vaggie. She's also no stranger to pulling all-nighters and go through whole boards of plans to make it work.

And finally, pride. Oh boy saying that Adam is prideful is like stating that the universe is big. His first meeting with Charlie should tell you all you need to know. He's self-entitled, a pure breed of absolute self-centered jackass, and needs to have the spotlight on him or else he'll combust. Something not going his way, as seen when he gets his "original ass" trounced by Lucifer ? He goes for a balls-out tantrum, saying that people should worship him since "all of humanity came from these fucking nuts !" Compare Charlie who's too meek to truly put her foot down when only for herself (for friends she'll do it just fine) and hates to use her status as Princess of Hell. Whenever she gains confidence, it's never in a self-centered way : Ready For This has her asking "if you'll permit me" to others for the leader role, wanting to face the threat together with her army, on equal grounds. Even against Adam she's holding back (as hinted when tapping into more power when stopping him from landing a sneak attack on her dad), and is never bragging about her abilities.

So, in the end, what do we have ? A very flawed First Man (who is an outright villain) looking very close to a demon, versus a way more humane actual demon Princess. Which raises the question : what makes a bad person, and a good person ? As seen with Helluva Boss, so far outside of Mammon all of the seen Sins are very decent people that do indulge in vice, but know the limits and only do it with the ones that can handle it : Beelzebub encourages overindulgence and gluttony for its own sake, not escapism or self-destruction. Asmodeus is very vocally against forced lust, and under the façade also doesn't mind romance. Lucifer himself is very creative and has done astounishing feats, flaunting his power in Hell's Greatest Dad, but while he's low on self-worth and confidence after millenia of seeing only the worst, also teaches his daughter to stand up for herself ("You don't take shit from other demons.") AND is willing to use said power to help.

Bottom line : they don't harm others with it. And, ain't that kinda the whole thing ? Adam literally slaughter ex-humans, his own kind, out of twisted amusement, and hurts everyone around him to come out on top. Charlie is mindful and willing to help, while not forgetting herself in the process (more or less). Adam is clearly going overboard on all his vices while Charlie, who does have some too (drinking to the point of being actually drunk), is more balanced.

What makes one a jackass ? BEING a jackass. Nothing else.

Welp, this one is kinda the odd one out, dunno if I'll have more like that one but I hope you had fun.

Again, Masterpost here.

[edalynn]

I actually LOVE Evelyn and Caleb comparisons in Hunter ships, but they have to be well written and natural. It would be one thing if h/l shippers were like, writing fics where they actually built up to a situation where a comparison between Evelyn and Willow made sense, but it seems like they’d rather just pretend “uh Willow and Evelyn are so similar because uh… they’re both witches, and also girls?”

Oh, yeah, you're preaching to the choir here. I absolutely ADORE Caleb and Evelyn comparisons for Hunter ships, especially because Cat and Hunter are MAJOR comparisons to their predecessors with Hunter being Caleb's Grimwalker (obv), but technically still sort of a witch while Cat is a Clawthorne (by adoption like Luz), but is technically still sort of a human. Add in the flavor text that Philip idolizes her to the point of almost making her out to be Saint-like due to the fact that she's a hunter and is "ridding the human realm of demons and witches and evils" just like he tried to do back in his time & is doing presently in the Boiling Isles, only for him to find out she's Just Like Evelyn, still a wild witch a la Luz, and has stolen his "brother" away yet again. It's just like Belos' life is a series of going "Oh God dammit, not again how does this keep happening" lmao. But that is a good comparison. I would even go so far as to say Hunter and Luz (platonically, I Do Not Ship like that) are a really good Evelyn and Caleb comparison for the exact same reason (minus the flavor text lmao).

But my own life aside, that is literally what they're doing. I once saw someone say a H/l tried to make a Willow & Evelyn comparison based on Willow's Halloween costume & the fact that in Masha's story the cut-out of Evelyn has a demon tail and classic witch outfit despite that being a nasty and untrue caricature of her in the first place, meant to look insulting to Evelyn lmfao. The most they've got is being witches and girls. I know we don't know anything really about Evelyn's personality other than being in love with Caleb and being a wild witch, but I'd wager to say she was probably a lot like Eda considering that's what the half a second shot of her design most resembled & the fact that Belos hunted Eda down so hard and disposed of Lilith once he'd gotten her & had her set to be petrified. It's almost like he wanted her dead just based on the fact that she reminded him of Evelyn.

[the-firebird69]

GIANT MUDCRAB barehanded catch for ISLAND SURVIVAL

The crabs are going to come eventually not for time no it might be a little sooner and we were thinking a couple weeks but the Midwest is emptying everybody's leaving to get jobs and they're going to the west and they're going to the South and you're feeling the place up just kind of emptied they're doing all the utilities back on turn up the power plants getting the sewer going it's quite a scene they're opening hundreds of thousands of factories today and just millions of apartments complexes it's huge and I mean it they're leaving today in vast numbers and they're moving out we have a lot going on today it's a madhouse there's tons of people if the devil and Lilith huge numbers of people are heading north to fight the pseudo empire to try and get to the clone ships it is a massive battle it's massive they're bringing so much to bear on the small group they're going to have to use spaceships and they're going to have a fight on their hands it's going to be a war and it's starting a momentarily against the northern New England and they're doing it all over the world too in the north it is amazing they're going after these bases it's because the armies are so big and the percentage of morlock is dropping last night this morning 40 went out that's households and 30 came back and went down to 140 for real this time and there's some people you know that died they're actually gone and he says he doesn't want to review it if they're not and usually they're not and it's a pain in the ass so you're going to hold off on it some died but he doesn't know many and he doesn't know the person I mentioned Steve Shaw he just knew from sight there are a few but still they keep on saying they died and didn't.

-it's a huge day because of the large offensive that's going on 40 went back out and yeah 10 died last night that's households and the 24th ring was cleared of morlock and their advancing to 24.5 it'll be 2.5 miles from West Palm so the things happening all over the world Argentina is having a war and it is a huge one it's because people want to get to Antarctica because of the stone and the ships and someone said it's the largest Castle and it is going to be a huge show people trying to go and find these castles and find the stone chips and find the stone and there's a massive number going down all races of s and we need our armies now.

It's quite a bit more to announce in a moment

Thor Freya

Olympus

We're making progress on the projects and Thor and Freya are far ahead. Also going to touch base with people here and stop them from harassing us we need to and we have to do it shortly and we're feeling it and we understand it it's ridiculous stuff and we're going to stop them but we are on phase two on the planetoid we approaching phase two on the planet and it will start this evening somewhere around 8:00 p.m. it was just incredible he says phase two is awesome and phase 2 is a gigantic change and a huge force is required is what he's telling us it is a massive Force at the end of phase 2 enduring we we need a gigantic Force right now

Zig Zag

Olympus

I'm going to request one and I do know what he's talking about we need things to go smoothly and we're going to do it right now

Hera Zues

[vilithshaven]

How about Diluc and The archons (of your choice) Attacking Darling thinking they're The imposter, But After they're First Hit towards Darling they see a small portion of they're Golden blood On the floor, and immediately realize it's they're actual creator how would they react? Would they apologize? Or would they Feel to horrible to even speak??

REALIZING DARLING IS THE CREATOR // DILUC AND VENTI

Just a heads up, Vin wrote the Venti part, Lilith the Diluc one. Since we're two admins, we'll share the requests depending on who's more motivated, has more ideas, etc. On that note, thanks for the request and hope you'll like our ideas to this!

Warning: angst, slight blood -Vin & Lilith

VENTI

The breeze of the wind on Starsnatch Cliff released the built up tension in your muscles, this one peaceful moment after weeks of running and hiding from every living being made you realize how much pain you were really in. The adrenaline hid it all.

Bruises from the people who were able to lay their hands on you and scratches from running through the forests littered your aching body, you were sure that you looked like an absolute mess. Not having been able to shower properly and covered in dirt, your hair tangled from the amount of people grabbing it.

This was all a nightmare to you, one that you wished to wake up from, but the aching pain and the sunlight beaming on your skin proved otherwise. This was your new reality, being chased and hunted constantly for a reason you still didn't understand.

Small breaths escaped your lips as you tried to ignore the throbbing aches coming from your ribs, no thanks to a Favonius Knight who had managed to sneak behind you the day before and delivered a harsh kick to your side.

Your moment of serenity deemed from the chirping of birds, the gentle wind and the bright sun looking down on your form as if it was greeting you. A blissful moment of tranquility and the only one you have had so far.

Unfortunately that had come to an end when the wings picked up, creating a harsh gust and almost toppling you. You could only close your eyes, shielding your face, as to avoid getting the picked up dirt blowing right into them. The harsh wind muffled your hearing, rustling from the leaves and the alarming chirps of the birds now all sounding muted.

Light footsteps landed on the ground infront of you, cold eyes staring at your cowering form. A bow was pulled out and ready to aim at you, not that you were aware.

Finally having the courage to bring your hands down from your face, your eyes opened to the Anemo Archon aiming his bow straight at you. The harsh glare on his face did nothing but make you crawl back gripping the grass.

"If you move, I'll shoot." his sudden voice sent shivers down your spine and froze all movement. All you could do was stare in fear and swallow down the dry coughs wanting to escape your throat.

"How dare you!" Venti shouted "You fake being our grace and tread upon this land. You heathen!" the string of his bow snapped forward as he let it go. The arrow shot towards you making you fall to the side, barely able to move enough to dodge it. The arrowhead nicked your skin as you fell causing a cut on your upper arm, the sudden flow of gold bled out down your arm and dripped onto the blades of grass.

Venti was aiming another arrow before you could even get back up, the sharp pain from your cut stung as airborne dirt and pebbles flew at you and into your wound. But before he could take another shot his eyes caught the glimmer of gold on the grass around you. His bow was still aimed as he took a moment to observe what it was, eyes following up to your arm and seeing the flow of gold bleeding out from it.

His breath stopped as he lowered his bow and took in the situation, the so called imposter running around is bleeding gold right infront of him. The very gold that only his grace could bleed.

Suddenly the harsh winds stopped and his bow was thrown to the ground, and he ran up to you dropping on his knees. Turquoise eyes filled up with tears when you desperately tried to crawl away from him, he knew he deserved punishment for what he put you through but it broke him as the one he worshipped was trying to get away.

"You...Your grace...I.." His sobs quickly took over any words, he could only reach out to you and hold you even as you weakly fight back against him.

"I'm so sorry..I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." Venti could do nothing but repeat those words and hold you. Your fear and frustration was shown through your actions of kicking him and pulling his hair to get him off of you but he would not budge.

The very hands that had praised your statue had hurt you and was now caressing you so gently as if you'll break any second, Venti believed you would. His own desperation came through heavy sobs and pathetic whines, not wanting anything more than to be on his hands and knees as you look down upon him while he begs for your forgiveness, but right now your current state was more important.

The wind gently surrounded you as if creating a shield from any possible outsiders. His face was distraught as he scanned your face and slowly brought one hand up to wipe away some dirt, though it did little to help.

"I'll make it up to you I swear it." The Anemo archon pleaded "I'll do anything"

DILUC

Thinking of you made Diluc angry. In his lifetime he'd never once met any person daring to impersonate their one true god that stands above even the Archons and Celestia. Even his fool of a brother didn't mock you in any way, which just proved to him that you, the damned impersonator, must be either stupid or a sinner of the highest caliber.

So, after finishing his duties at Angel's Share that night, instead of returning to his home, he went into Galesong Hill. His work at the tavern had served him one purpose tonight, and that was to gather intel on your latest sightings and movements. From what he'd heard, the Knights of Favonius last saw you around the temple dedicated to the Falon of the West. They'd last track of you soon after, in between all of the Hilichurl camps residing in that area.

By the time Diluc reached that area, the moon was already descending again. Exhaustion made him more sluggish, but the anger fueled him enough to keep going despite that and the hunger gnawing on his stomach. He'd gone through worse. This was nothing. He wouldn't rest until you, the impersonator of their beloved god, was dealt with.

Although he tended to use different methods of finding people, elemental sight turned out to be the best idea he had. Footsteps glowed a dim yellow in the darkness and illuminated a clear path for him. He followed them, careful not to make any loud sounds and alert the Hilichurls that stood watch around the entrances to their camps. The moon was low enough by now that the first rays of the sun shone at the horizon.

Soon enough he heard ragged breathing. He let his gaze wander around his general vicinity until his eyes landed on a slumped form, curled up against tree roots. You visibly shivered from the cold, your clothes doing nothing to help you keep your temperature up. Scratches and dark splotches littered your body, your clothes torn in different places. Despite the obvious discomfort and cold, you were calm. Peaceful even.

If you had been anyone else, he'd feel pity for you and housed you until you were better.

But you were the impersonator of their, no, his beloved god. You didn't deserve his kindness.

His claymore appeared in his held out hand and, without any farther hesitation, he drove its blade into the root by your throat.

You startled awake, nicking your skin on the blade. A shocked gasp escaped your throat and you scrambled up into a sitting position. That's all the movement Diluc allowed you before placing a foot on your stomach and pushing you back down.

"You know. Usually I don't care much about impersonators. But you...you really must be the lowest of the low. Daring to fake being our Creator? What is wrong with you?", Diluc asked as he put more force onto the foot on your stomach.

You cried out in pain, your hands gripping tight onto his ankle. Your efforts to throw him off were fruitless. He was a lot stronger than you. "Please!", you begged, voice raspy from days of crying and pleading for your life. "I don't know what you are talking about!"

Diluc furrowed his eyebrows, and an annoyed sigh escaped his taught lips. "You really are trash, aren't you? Not only are you an imposter, but also lying. I guess it's time to take you out and end this charade."

He pulled the claymore out of the ground and readied it to swing it down to your throat. You seemed to know what he was about to do, as your struggles grew more desperate. You even tried to arch your back to throw him off.

Diluc angled his sword. A stray ray of sunlight hit the blade and reflected onto your face and throat. Something glowed and he narrowed his eyes. There, leaking from the scratch on your throat, was golden blood.

All movements ceased and Diluc felt his heart stop beating in his chest for a second.

It couldn't be. His eyes must be playing tricks on him. He leaned down and ran a finger through the trail of blood on your throat, even as you froze and stared at him with wide eyes. It was no tricks of his mind nor of the light.

No. No no no. Despite the truth in front of his eyes, he found it hard to believe. The imposter...you were their god?

Claymore clattering to the ground, Diluc fell to his knees on top of your legs and his arms wrapped around you. You came out of your stupor and attempted to push him off yet again. "No, stop, let me go."

Diluc couldn't do anything but hold you close to his warm body. Not even his voice responded to him.

He had always prided himself in being one of your most devoted followers. And yet here he was, holding you after almost killing you.

How could he ever make you forgive him for his deeds?

He was a lowlife.

He was a sinner.

He deserved whatever you threw his way as punishment.

But he was still going to protect you from now on.

[feirceangel]

Imagine | Dream (Castiel)

Imagine Castiel meeting you in your dream.

Word Count: 741

~

Being a Winchester, you've seen your fair share of horrors. Countless encounters with monsters and demons have traumatized you for years. The most memorable experience would have to be the time you went to Hell. You actually went at the same time as Dean. He had made a deal with a crossroads demon, and you were just unlucky enough to have been killed by Lilith the same day.  

Then, some angel came and raised you and Dean from 'perdition'.

But, living with the memory of hell and the terrible things that happened there isn't an easy thing to do. So far, Dean's done an amazing job at pretending to have forgotten his experience of unimaginable torture, and you've been doing your hardest to follow his example.

No matter how excellent you are at disguising the pain during the day, you can't hide from it at night.

Dreams of hell and torture haunt your sleeping hours. 

Luckily, Dean and Sam haven't noticed. They’d surely make a fuss over it, something you want to avoid.

Even though you keep waking up drenched in sweat, biting your fist in order to stop from screaming, you don’t want to bother them.

You just wish the dreams would stop.

But they don't. They just keep coming every time you close your eyes.

Another sigh escapes your lips as you enter the motel room. You throw your purse onto the floor and sit on the bed.

"Can't we head out right away?" You ask your brothers.

Dean shakes his head, "No, Y/n. I need sleep, Sam needs sleep. You need sleep too."

"C'mon Dean! If you're too tired then I'll drive!"

"No. Now, go to bed and I don't want to hear any more complaining."

With a sour look directed at Dean, you go into the washroom and brush your teeth. You change into your pyjamas and slink into bed. Sam takes the other bed and Dean takes the cot.

You listen to your brother's breathing as it evens out. Soon, they're sleeping peacefully while you stare at the ceiling with trepidation.

An hour passes and finally you sleep.

The same dreams come to you. Dreams of fire, pain, death, and misery. They leave you gasping and begging to be woken up.

With a jolt, you wake up in the dark motel room. The bright red light from the alarm clock informs you that it's only four o'clock. Shuddering, you wrap yourself in the blanket and try to erase the memories out of your mind.

You drift off again only to be haunted by the screams of hell. Waking up again, you stifle a sob and plant your face into the pillow.

"Y/n, you alright?" Sam asks you, concern in his voice.

You swallow, "I'm fine. Just had a bad sleep is all."

He doesn't believe you, but you couldn't care less anymore. You pack up and head off to the next job. After the hunt, you find yourself in the same predicament.

In a last effort, you pray to have a good dream for once.

Then, your eyes flutter closed and you expect to have the same sort of nightmare. 

This time though, it's different.

You stand in a meadow, waist deep in grass and various flowers. You smile. Reaching down, you pluck a pretty f/c blossom and stroke it's soft petals. You bring it to your nose and inhale its heavenly scent.

The sun beams down on the meadow, bringing happiness to this little piece of heaven.

"You like it here." A low voice reaches your ears, causing the smile to disappear from your face.

You turn around and look at Castiel. His black hair sticks up at the front in an adorable way, his head tilted to the side the slightest bit.

"Yes, I do," you say wistfully.

He nods, and idly picks a f/c flower as he slowly walks to you. You smile again as you see a doe walk through the meadow with its little baby.

Turning back to Cas, you blush under his stare. "Did you do this?"

"I heard your prayers. You wanted to have a good dream, so here it is."

"That was nice of you."

He tilts his head to the side again, causing you to smirk. He smiles a bit bashfully. "This was nothing."

"Not to me." You walk to him and take his had in yours. You actually have his handprint on your wrist where Cas held you when he saved you from hell.

"Thanks Cas," you whisper and hug him.

It's awkward at first, probably because he's never hugged anyone before. But then, he relaxes and wraps his arms around you.

"It's my pleasure," he replies with a smile.