#they'll give the devil a run for his money!

[mysteroads]

After re-reading chpt 426, I had... emotions. 🥺 So, even though I posted the full fic here earlier, I thought everyone else might like to see Dabi finding peace at last. Like all the other League in this series, this excerpt is when Shig comes to pick up his party member. As a bonus, it can be read in a way that complies with the current canon circumstances. (As a double bonus, there's a cute moment with Shoto💕.) Without further ado: Dabi rejoins the League:

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Dabi,” his name brought his wandering focus back to Shigaraki, “We already know you’re an asshole. You don’t have to try and talk me out of bringing you back.” He leaned closer and met Dabi’s eyes, bloody red to clouded crystal. “I see you, Dabi. We see you, Dabi. We’ve always seen you. We want you anyway. Magne, Jin, Toga, Spinner, Kurogiri… they’re all waiting for you.”

Those words hit him like a punch to the gut, wringing out a soft sound of pure longing that he didn’t know he was capable of making.��

Arms— hot and cold, slim and thick, both of them ghostly— wrapped around him. He suspected them of trying to comfort him, but he didn’t need comfort. Shigaraki wanted him. The League wanted him. They didn’t care that he wasn’t perfect, that he had been born to be a failure, that he was a broken, twisted caricature of a human being. Knowing he was wanted despite all that… it healed a wound in his soul that had been bleeding as long as he could remember, and suddenly it didn’t matter that Endeavor was still alive.

The League wanted him. They were waiting for him.

And he was tired. 

So very, very tired.

Even so, he mustered up the strength for one last bit of snark. “So… you… expect me to… just, what? … Waltz into Hell… with you?”

Shigaraki raised his eyebrows. “You could stay, if you'd rather.” His eyes flicked to the blurry people around Dabi, lingering on the ones who seemed to be embracing him. “Your family would prefer that, I think. They seem really upset. It’s your choice, though. It’s always been your choice, Dabi. We'll still be waiting if you want to stay for a little while longer.”

Dabi considered for less than a second. “Let’s go, Duster.” He’d been toying with that nickname for months, now seemed like the perfect time to use it. Judging by the pleased light in Tomura’s eyes, he was right.

Grinning, Tomura held out his hand.

Dabi felt something shift inside him, the pain and numbness retreating, replaced by a kind of pleasant, tingling feeling. But when he tried to reach out for Tomura’s hand, he could barely raise his arm an inch. He tried again, and still couldn’t. Sudden frustration and anguish made his already dry eyes sting.

“I can’t reach you! Tomura! Fuck!” Why couldn’t he do this? Just this one, last, final thing?! Why was it so hard to reach the things he wanted the most? “I… I c-can’t…”

Then his arm was being lifted, supported gently by someone else. 

Surprised, he looked in the direction of the red and white blur that held his damaged arm so tenderly. The blur wavered and came into sudden, sharp focus. It was Shoto. Shoto, his youngest brother, his father’s perfect masterpiece, the kid he barely knew but had tried his best to kill… and Shoto was crying. Crying so hard he had snot coming out his nose and his pretty porcelain skin was all blotchy. The sight made Dabi chuckle, even as it reminded him of Toga’s sad eyes. 

“Hey, little hero, don’t cry,” he said, and found that speaking didn’t hurt. He sounded like his old self too, the words clear and firm. Still raspy, but that was just the way he talked. “`S like I told Himiko. It doesn't matter whether we laugh or cry, the sun’ll still rise tomorrow... so you should choose to smile, baby brother.” Shoto’s lips wobbled as he tried to obey. Dabi smiled back and thought it probably looked like a nightmare, but for once, he felt genuinely happy and didn’t hold himself back. “That’s better.” 

Dabi was distracted from any reply his brother might’ve made as a cool, dry hand wrapped around his, and pulled him to his feet.

~*~*~*~

please reblog if you enjoyed! thank you for reading!

[d3stinyist1red]

Yandere town?? Live convenience store cashier or mall owner or police officer and paramedics or anything both platonic and romantic like the elders try to get reader married to their children etc

YASSS QUEEN 😛😛😛

Yan town who literally is obsessed with everything you do, like u could be drinking water and they'll praise you for drinking it

Yan town who literally has the biggest fanclub of you, they exchange pictures, and items that used to belong to you

Yan convenience store cashier who literally has the sluttiest clothes in his bag just in case you come in

Yan police officer that gets called everytime you try burning the town down, biting his lip while saying "N/n, your being a very naughty girl!~" He playfully slaps,and runs his fingers up and down on your arm.

Yan medic who is lowkey a baddie, litteraly whenever he hears that you have a cut, he puts on the most lil skirt possible, and literally brings out things that nurses would only use if your on fucking life support, acting as if your gonna die just because of a tiny ass cut

yan platonic elderly woman who begs you to marry her son. Her son was very attractive and rich, waving at you shyly as he thinks about the ways you could stroke and suck him off

Yan business man who tries to get you to be his secretary, begging you on his knees and shit. He literally kisses your feet anytime he is in a 5 mile radius of u

Yan farmer who literally is pushing 20 and acting like a middle school boy who barely hit puberty, humping at your shoe and everything. He gives you free fruits tho! Though, he does try to trade with you. Your panties for the fruits of course!

Yan cowboy who let you ride him and save his horse. He literally tells you to get on his horse with him, your in front of him as he guides the horse, his front leaning against your back. He tries to hide his huge boner, and how he's slowly thrusting it against you.

Yan loser who no one likes💀 if ur the angel of the town, he's the devil. He's a total weirdo, whenever he sees you, his hands immediately go for his pants, trying to patt his dick down. "H-hey, do you wa-wanna help me wit-with mini me?"

Yan platonic unc who tries to get you to go on a blind date with his niece. You finally went, and his niece was down bad for u. His niece wouldn't even eat his food, staring at you the whole time with heart eyes, and giggling at you

Yan old man who lets you be his sugar baby. You don't even do anything, all you have to do is sit there and look pretty, and he will give you the money. Very cutesy very demure

[nylaboon]

Can I request Karma x reader x Asano poly relationship headcanons?

Deal With the Devil — Karma Akabane & Gakushuu Asano

— headcanons: poly relationship with karma and asano

tags: not proof-read

note: I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME FOREVER, i got overwhelmed with the amount of requests i received and completely forgot about this, hopefully this is alright <33

dating both boys at the same time is like watching a car blow up from a not so far distance

dangerous

interesting

but dangerous

if you so much as give one more attention than the other, he'll get upset with you

karma would just be like "i don't care because i'm so nonchalant and cool" or whatever

but when he's alone it's the only thing he'll think about until he gets his lick back on asano

poor guy has a fragile ego awww at least he's hot though

asano would just be a fucking bitch about it

if you can't tell, i'm not too much of a fan of him — he's alright i guess

asano would make his jealousy known

not to you (or not intentionally)

he'll try to keep his cool for the most part, but he really can't help it

but he will glare at karma until you pour some of your attention into him as well

dating you is like a competition

whoever got the most attention was titled the better boyfriend (you never knew about this until you caught them fighting about the idea)

it's a surprise they even agreed to something like this

but how could they say no to you?

if one gets you a gift, the other tries to get you a better one to top it

if you get annoyed of their constant—and i mean CONSTANT—arguing, they'll try to shut up for once

the silence doesn't last long, but at least they were considerate enough to try, right?

they really do love you equally as much as the other

even if one says they love you more

they only say that because they're both egotistical attention whores

equally the same amount

asano will try to take you on nice fancy dates since he and karma can literally NEVER agree on what to do for date nights

meanwhile karma takes you to, like, the most dangerous side of town and says something like "the rush of running away from crackheads and gang members is what makes it fun and memorable" or some shit

all that money he got and he will rarely take you somewhere nice smh </3

heavy on the "rarely"

he'll take you somewhere nice if he feels like not being an asshole or if you had a bad week or something like that

i'm sorry, i just can't see them getting along at ALL LOL

like, asano is asleep and karma insults him while he's unconscious, they will be arguing nonstop

not in front of you, of course, but you'll catch them a lot of the time

i can see karma roughhousing asano (without his consent) and you're just trying to stop them before it escalates

not that asano would beat his ass, but because you know damn well that karma won't hesitate to beat his

there will be a lot of near-death experiences

for asano and only asano

karma cannot be contained

you'll need a prayer if you're dating these two

written by @nylaboon

[manatee-rp-memes]

Muppets Treasure Island Sentence Starters

~Feel free to tweak as needed~

"There are hungers as strong as the wind and tides."

"Those buccaneers drowned their sins in rum. The devil himself would have to call them scum."

"Every man aboard would have killed his mate for a bag of guineas or a piece of eight."

"When there's money in the ground, there's murder in the air."

"There are secrets that sleep with old Davey Jones."

"When the mainsail's set and the anchor's weighed, there's no turning back from any course that's laid."

"Who has the map now, huh? Some black-hearted, squid-suckin' buccaneer?"

"If I had that treasure map, I'd be trading it for a decent meal."

"Oh, you're drunk again, are ya?"

"I should just run off to sea like my father did."

"I feel like the world is passing me by."

"If it's weird and wild, let's go find it. The crazier, the better is what I say!"

"I got the horrors! Give me rum! Rum 'til I float!"

"Ah, I'd know that scurvy mug of yours anywhere."

"You thought you could get away with it, didn't you? Just take it all for yourself... and leave your shipmates with nothing."

"I don't understand. What is the Black Spot?"

"It's my sea chest them lubbers want."

"It's mine! I'm going for that treasure myself!"

"Me own shipmates, they'll gully me for sure! And anybody else to get their mitts on that map!"

"Now we know that is definitely too much gunpowder."

"We need a ship for an ocean voyage."

"The ship is provisioned, the crew is in place, and the captain should be on board within the hour."

"I'm afraid we shish-kebab and barbeque stowaways on this ship."

"Oh, you needn't be callin' a lowly ship's cook 'sir'"

“A friend you can trust is worth his weight in gold."

"Move aside! Make way! Make ready for the captain! Lollygaggers will suffer his wrath!"

"Well, the wind seems to be freshening. The tide is with us."

"Let's not get sloppy just because we're singing."

"Every storm we ride is its own reward."

"Who hired this crew? This is undoubtedly the seediest bunch of cutthroats, villains, and scoundrels I have ever seen!"

"'Tis a tradition for the officers to toast to the success of a voyage."

"You could sail to heaven and back with these men."

"Moonlight swim?"

"Tell us where the map is or we'll tear you limb from limb!"

"Cabin fever has ravaged all aboard."

"By rights, I should be locked up too for lettin' thieves like them aboard this ship."

"I'm not really sure I should be talking about this with you or with anyone."

"The caulking appears tight. No dampness under the gunwale. This one seems seaworthy."

"And so, my friends, the sea has claimed another loyal officer and friend."

"It makes me sick at heart to sail with the likes of you."

"Bring her up hard of starboard, helmsman. Prepare to lower the longboats."

"I want you to take the crew ashore at once. We need water and provisions. Take as long as you want."

"There's room in the boat for one more. Come along for an adventure."

"It's how you look at buccaneers that makes them bad or good, and I see us as members of a noble brotherhood.”

"You mewling little lily-livered, toffee-hearted, little wuss of a crustacean!"

"You tore a page from the Holy Scriptures... to make a pirate's death sentence?"

"Of all the backwater, no-class piles of sand in the ocean, you had to wash up on mine."

"Well, he was a pirate, I was a lady. You know the story."

"You know, I'm beginning to see a pattern in the men I date."

"No one maroons me and gets away with it!"

"I could never harm you. You're honest, brave, and true."

"Now take your oars and row away. I never want to see you again, ever."

"Your father would be proud."

[jammedjanna]

Some (Slightly Yujin-Centric) Head Canons About the Original Study Exchange Characters

Warning!! The Great Ace Attorney 2 SPOILERS AHEAD

The grandma that raises Susato for the first five years is Ayame's mom. Yujin does NOT talk to his parents. but he does feel the need to quietly send them money out in the country. Helps him connect to Jigoku whose family straight up disowned him (the devil connotation in his name is too easy to not make his fam super puritanical and decide he isn't good enough for them), Genshin who lowkey wishes he could disown his parents but kinda needs them around cause of the whole teen dad thing and his wife being VERY poor so basically having no assets to bring to the table besides bastard child (made her a factory worker cause industrial revolution was growing at the time, women who needed to work were basically prostitutes or factory workers and the working conditions of both were shit, and Kazuma's speech in the original Japanese game is actually about the need to improve factory conditions and liberate those workers which was super progressive at the time so I think his mother being a former worker who had to go back to support them after Genshin died and that basically killing her would 100% radicalize him; sadly Japanese society would not have looked at her very kindly at the time, but I love her), and Kazuma's mom whose only family has been dead since she was younger than Kazuma was (helps him understand her better when Yujin comes back from England to discover his parents died while he was away and no one told him cause they just weren't in actual contact at all)

Ayame has a good relationship with her parents. They're great. They run the dojo Yujin and Jigoku (and later Susato) learn/practice judo at. It's pretty close to the university so they both decide to go their for it, which is how they meet Yujin ALSO meets Ayame there cause her mom insists he can come by to practice any time he wants cause his studies end up giving him weird hours of free time. So he decides to go in the middle of the night one time and Ayame Susato-Takedown style attacks him assuming he's an intruder. Her mom clarifies and leaves them alone. They talk and spar til they lose track of time and it's morning. blah blah love story. Her parents are also very supportive of women's rights so they encourage Ayame to have a career. So she's an writer under pen name (Yujn starts doing his journals in England in her honor since she was always jotting down notes like that to use later). Yujin's parents were much more conservative but he never really understood the point of their beliefs. Naturally questioned everything thank god.

Ayame is the one who applied for Yujin to do the study tour. He was too down on himself and sure they wouldn't pick him but she knows he's brilliant and forges the application for him (he doesn't know until he's accepted.) The plan was her pen name would take a trip to Britain independent of the study tour so she could keep writing and they could go together. Plans changed a little when they found out she was pregnant (they were already married but weren't really planning a timeline on when to have kids.) They decided to continue their careers in Japan instead so they could start their family and maybe they'll check England out when Susato's a little older. They were still cycling through candidates for the third spot when Tragedy Strikes, so Genshin and Seishoro convince them to let Yujin back on and depart the tour sooner than intended Yujin is not doing well in the wake of Ayame's death. He's truly trying his best but he can barely take care of himself and Susato cries anytime he holds her or feeds her or changes her to the point he's worried she might be colic before they actually knew what that was (really she can just sense how stressed he is and the looming despair of everyone around her grieving Ayame.) Thankfully Ayame's parents are there to help and she seems to do so much better with them that in his grief and dysfunction, he decides the best thing he can do for her is literally just to support her financially cause he's going to fuck her up if he keeps going like this. And making as much money as he can means going where pathology is the hottest right now, which the exchange trip is his ticket too

Seishoro and Genshin are friends from childhood (yeah I like Brutus by the Buttress for them too much not to be). Yujin and Genshin meet each other through Seishoro, Yujin meets Kazuma's mom through Genshin, and she meets Ayame through Yujin Important to me that they're ALL good friends, especially Yujin and Kazuma's mom cause I feel that relationship is very important in the year after he returns to Japan. It's what ultimately leads to him unofficially adopting Kazuma after her death.

Like mentioned above, she has to return to her factory job which she was thankfully safe from after becoming pregnant with Kazuma because Genshin's family has money from before the samurai abolition that could support them. But they never really liked her. They always thought she derailed Genshin's bright future (even though he's still very successful while he's alive) and they don't want much to do with Kazuma until he's of age because he's not much use to them as a child. So now it's up to her to support them. The options are pretty much the same after half a decade, so back to the factory she goes which escalates her painful but manageable health problems into life threatening ones. And she is VERY insistent that Kazuma does not get a job to try to take the load off. She had to start working as a child and it wrecked her body. She will not let the same happen to her son. He's a smart boy who is going to stay in school and focus on his grades and he'll find a good job to keep him out of this position even if it kills her. She will not let this horrible system take him the way it took her.

She also doesn't like Genshin's family. She saw the toll they took on him and she doesn't want that for Kazuma, especially since they only care about him when he's useful to them. Yujin is also trying to help her but he's already supporting himself, Susato, and Ayame's parents on the salary of a fresh out of school pathologist (he tries to continue on the coroner route but after watching Kazuma's mom fade away in front of him, unable to do anything for her, he loses his stomach for it and switches to research and academia.) He can only stretch it so much. So she begs him, her only real friend anymore (Jigoku gets distant from both of them during this time cause of killing Genshin. He warms back up to Yujin after a while but at that point it's too late for Kazuma's mom), to at least Kazuma in if something happens to her. The Asogis don't have his best interests at heart and he can't survive on his own. She doesn't ask him to go as far as he does, she mostly pleads with him to give him enough financial support to stay in school and out of the workforce. Yujin sees that he desperately needs emotional support too and decides to take him in as his own (he tries his best to respect that he's not his father but he can't help but come to see Kazuma like his son. Kazuma has very complicated feelings about the Mikotobas and loves them like family too but he creates an intentional wall between them (that Yujin can see but Susato doesn't until he comes back "from the dead" in the second game) because he feels like he's betraying his parents by loving anyone else like he loved them. Ryunosuke helps break that down a little and seeing him, Susato, Iris, and Sholmes kinda beats into his head the idea of found family, so he tries to let everyone in more post-canon.

I know the game literally only talks about Kazuma's dad. I'm pretty sure they don't even mention his mom once, maybe just to say the grief killed her or something. but I think Kazuma was 100% a mama's boy and at the time, losing her hit him much harder than losing his dad (tho it doesn't help that it stacked on top of that death) Genshin had already been gone for so many years that Kazuma was a little more detached from him than he'd care to admit. and they never had a chance to reconnect like Susato and Yujin did. vs. losing his mom who has been around the entire time and is literally killing herself trying to give him the best life she can I think over time, he hyperfixated on Genshin's death being the thing that "ruined his life," or at least tore his family apart and focuses on clearing his name as something tangible he can do to try to get justice since there's nothing he can do to bring either of them back, but even less he can do to avenge his mom

I think Genshin and his wife loved each other but they got married more out of circumstance than anything else. They provided an escape for each other when they met and all things being equal, they would've moved on with someone else and possibly never seen each other again. They came to appreciate each other more raising Kazuma together and their bond definitely strengthen over their shared love and devotion for him, but when they were on other sides of the world, they sort of fell out of "love". Don't get me wrong, they still very much care about each other. Genshin's death definitely devastates her and causes her health to deteriorate much quicker. I just think they both naturally feel an inclination to explore other relationships while apart but don't because they feel too guilty "cheating" on each other despite knowing on some level they both feel this way. Plus societal expectations of married couples still weighs on them. Even though a lot of people considered it no big deal for men to cheat, Genshin still struggled with acting on any of his feelings while in England (COUGH COUGH KLINT) I also kinda think they were both gay and were drawn to each other because of that but struggled with identifying their feelings because of comphet and their platonic affection for each other.

On the other hand, I think Klint and Lady B also started as a marriage of convenience. They're both the eldest living family members of their families and though Klint has Barok, they're both far from the perfect picture of nobility. So getting married is a good way to improve their social standing and preserve wealth and their family images. Plus they find each other charming enough to strike up a partnership and Barok likes her which is hard cause a sweetheart but kinda judgmental about the complexities of nobility and the way it shapes people (he's also very scandalized at the idea of marrying for anything short of love cause he's always been a hopeless romantic and that's what their parents did. He tries to get Genshin to side with him who then has to awkwardly explain he had a shotgun wedding.) Anyway all that to say they like each other enough but don't have any romantic feelings in the beginning. But I think they slowly fall in love over the next few years until they're genuinely very enamored with each other and want to start a family together. Which is a teensy bit of a struggle so the best day of Klint's life ends up coinciding with the worst. (His wife is pregnant and they're going to have a child together :D! But also Stronghart caught onto him taking justice into his own hands and blackmailed him into killing his mentor, who acted as a stand-in father after the death of his parents :/) 10. I think Yujin, Genshin, and Jigoku remain very close in London and get together quite often but they each have their own little corners of London they sort of keep to themselves. Great friends who are all somewhat acquainted with each other but only barely. Like at a party Klint hosts and wants to invite Genshin's friends and some Judiciary and Sholmes crashes it. Yujin has Sholmes and Mrs. Hudson (I can't fucking believe we never see or talk to her in-game by the way. They only mention her like once). Jigoku has Stronghart and some other dudes who are definitely kickstarting his villain arc. And Genshin has Klint and Lady B and Barok. and then they all kinda share Gregson cause he intersects with all their bullshit (much to his dismay) and Sholmes to an extent cause he NEEDS to know everything he can about Yujin's terrible taste in friends and he breaks into crime scenes and courthouses and offices a LOT

I don't know how accurate this is to ACD Watson, but: Yujin definitely thinks he's a good judge of character but he's actually shit cause he always wants to see the best in people So Sholmes 100% feels the need to investigate everyone in his circle to make sure he hasn't accidentally befriended Jack the Ripper. None of them are serial killers (yet) but he's keeping his eye on all of them.

OKAY NOW I'M DONE

Sorry for the stream of consciousness dump there but I wanted to get all my thoughts out about these freaks with barely any screentime besides Sholmes and Yujin.

And Would you believe I have all this head canon lore about Kazuma's mom/Mrs. Asogi but I STILL can't come up with a good name for her?? Same for Lady B but at least I have something to refer to her as besides Iris's mom or Klint's wife.

[ethelstreep]

Starter for @yaksha-garden

There was a certain art to running a successful confidence game—and no, he wasn't referring to the actual, literal art that lined the walls of the gallery whose washroom he was currently occupying. Anyone could paint a picture. Of course, some picked up the skill faster than others, but really, all that separated a painter from a non-painter was time, money, and the desire to knuckle down and actually do it.

He adjusted the false mutton chops slightly as he peered carefully at himself in the mirror. They were neatly groomed, but slightly alarming in terms of sheer volume, which ensured that they would be the only thing anyone ever remembered about him. He was blessed with an entirely unmemorable face, which made flairs such as facial hair, glasses, and funny looking hats vocational necessities rather than simple tools.

Seemingly satisfied with his appearance, Adem — or Alan Short, as those in this city knew him — straightened, brushed down his lapels, tightened his cravat, and exited back into the main hall.

No, painting was easy. Making people want to buy your work was another trick entirely. And the fastest way to do that, Adem had found, was to ensure they thought you were not the one who had painted the piece in the first place.

People had a funny way about them. Place a talented craftsman with a fair price in front of them and they'll try to haggle, but give them a man in a crisp suit and a paper with an official looking seal on it, and they'll happily hand over a small fortune in exchange for rubbish.

There was a lot of money to be made in forgery, not that it mattered much to Adem. Money was just a way of keeping score. What made it fun—and this was important, this was where the artistry came in—were the endless number of moving parts.

Overcharge, and people thought you were an overstuffed ass, undercharge and people got suspicious. The venue should be exclusive enough where the clientele generally assumed that everyone else was there to accommodate them, but not so exclusive as to actually be true. And the artwork itself—oh yes, the artwork itself—merely had to exude an air of correctness. The eyes filled in what the brain wanted to see. The wear of the frame and the tint of the varnish were just as important as the stroke of the brush. The actual accuracy was not unimportant as such, but often came in second to the overall feeling of a piece.

He scanned the room. He recognized a few of the faces. Most of them were socialites, a dealer here and there, and, oh—this was a shock—prominent iron foundry owner, Atticus Blare.

What the devil was he doing here?

Blare was a known misanthrope, and held a certain disdain for his fellow man that was often reflected in his company's internal (and external) policies. The foundry's private security force seemed to take great pride in their ability to vault past due process and land poised for the neck strike at the execution.

Best avoid him, Adem thought.

His eyes settled on a lone figure standing by a painting. They glistened with jewelry. Rich, then. If not obscenely wealthy, then certainly well off enough that they were unconcerned with potentially losing a glittering chain to one of the many pickpockets that wove their way through the crowded streets. They didn't look like the typical English uppercrust, but that made no difference to Adem. Eccentricities were often footholds along the conversational byway, and building rapport in this line of work was very, very important.

He made his way towards them, stopping to examine the artwork. It was a Caravaggio. He had never attempted a Caravaggio, although he'd once tried his hand at a Rembrandt portrait. It had fetched him a neat sum at the time. He could probably do better now.

"It's amazing work, isn't it?" He said, in a seemingly offhanded tone. He kept his gaze fixed on the painting. "His use of contrast is really quite remarkable. To take a simple canvas and breathe such life and emotion and energy onto it with the simple stroke of a brush... Are you a fan?"

[rose-smoke]

I'm on the internet, posin' as a little girl

I'm tryin' to lure evil into my world

I tell them that I'm curious, and I'm only 12

Mom and dad are gone for the day, and I'm by myself

Buckets of throw up, are next to my computer

Hopin' they'll show up, 'cause what I'm about to do to 'em

It would make the devil sick, I sharpen my blade

I'm frontin' to this perv like I'm only in the 7th grade

The doorbell rings I gotta get 'em inside

In my best little girl voice I'm like,

"Hi, come on in! I'm putting on my bikini!"

And when the door shuts, that's when I let them see me

"Hi there"

I stab them in the neck first, 'cause it hurts

Hit 'em where the blood squirts

Carve his whole face off, and make him eat it

Chain him up by his foot in the basement bleeding

I'm probably gonna to burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing I'ma earn for this

But it sure is fun! I said it sure is fun!

I'm probably gonna to burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing I'ma earn

But it sure is fun! I said its sure is fun!

'Cause people out there, don't think they deserve this

Until its your kid some old man is finger fuckin',

titty suckin', then you'll want the knife stuck in

I don't blame ya, that's why I catch them in advance

While his dick is still in his pants, they never get a chance

I tell them I'm alone and I'm only 13

Lookin' for a good time, ya know what I mean?

Bring me some Funions and a slurpy

Promise not to hurt me, or give me herpes

And within 20 minutes here comes a doctor

Knockin on my door, pedophile butt-knocker

"Come in have a seat!", And then I stroll in

With the all purpose hunting blade straight up his throat chin

I cut his hands off, he ain't touchin' nobody

Chain him up by the foot in the basement, bloody

"Please mister clown sir you don't have to do. ."

"Zip it"

"Please. please I got money"

"Shut it fucker!"

"Please! we can work this out"

"Silence I said"

Stick him next to this other fool, both left for dead

Every time I walk by 'em, I punch 'em in the head

Cut they fucking dicks off and stick them in each others mouths

Now what ya'll talkin' about?

I'm probably gonna to burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing I'ma earn

But it sure is fun! I said its sure is fun!

I'm probably gonna to burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing I'ma earn

But it sure is fun! I said its sure is fun!

The house is getting funky bodies in the basement, stinkin'

What the fuck am I thinkin'?

I put my face-paint on and go down stairs

And beat they ass some times, 'cause it ease my mind

Some of them are dead, and some of are still livin'

But I'm going to hurt them every chance that I'm given

I hit them with the nail gun or the stun gun

They cant run so they mad fun

I was sawin' the head off when I heard the doorbell

I'm not expectin' any predators, but oh well

I took my spot, "Come in, I'll be right there"

But I left a head sittin' on a living room chair

He seen it, ran, I had to give chase

We cut across the lawn with my knife cuttin' for his face

I threw it and stuck him in the back of the neck

Still in my drawers, I dragged him home a bloody wreck

"Ah help, some body any body!"

zip it

"Ah! please!"

Shut it the fuck up

"Ah!"

People are lookin! Silence!

A bus full of high-school kids watched it happen

And he kept screamin' like a pansy despite my slappin'

Plus the neighbors seen it, so did the mail-man

But they all never said anything 'bout it again

I'm probably gonna burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing I'ma earn

But it sure is fun! I said its sure is fun!

I'm probably gonna to burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing I'ma earn

But it sure is fun! I said its sure is fun!

[nikrei]

April Comics Round-up

April time! Turns out you can't draw while you read comics, so I got a whole lot of comics read and not a whole lot of drawing done (petition to patch this bug in the next update)

This time around I was reading stuff in event rotation, so I'd read one comic up to the start of an event, then move to the next, so on so forth, then read the event, then do it all over again.

Justice League of America (258-261) (1987)

Finished this in Legends, and it has a super tragic ending, with two members dead (rip vibe and steel) and Cynthia stashed back with her family (that she ran away from in the first place because they're abusive) also not a fan of how they tried to walk back Steel's grandpa's bullshit, implying that his procedures were somehow necessary when the whole backstory is that they were totally superfluous.

Fury of Firestorm/Firestorm the Nuclear Man (43-79) (1986-1988)

Omg i cried so much at issue 66 (Marrrtiin!) But the whole storyline is so good, and I love the firestorm that is his own guy he's precious.

Saga of the Swamp Thing/Swamp Thing (51-70 (1987-1988)

Continues to be A+ excellent. The Swamp Thing's sojourn thru space is a great look at actual very alien worlds.

Blue Devil (20-31) (1986)

Super fun and I'm sad that it ended, should have been longer!

Blue Beetle (1-24) (1986-1988)

Very fun, and a great intro to Ted, but it did feel like it left loose ends when it finished. Maybe they'll pick them up later in JLI.

Legends Event (1-6 + all tie-ins) (1986-1987)

Legends my beloved, I've read this one twice before, once just the main event, once with all the tie ins, but this time I was reading with just about full context and that was awesome. I love this event a lot, actually.

Booster Gold (1-25) (1986-1988)

Love this guy, hate what happened with his sister, that was bullshit. The ending also felt v rushed, but it is deffo worth the read.

Justice League/Justice League International (1-21) (1987-1988)

Was not expecting this to be so funny coming off the previous justice league title, but it is v v funny, highly recommended.

Captain Atom (1-23) (1986-1988)

Picked this guy up cause he was crossing over with other titles a lot, and I was surprised by how much I liked it! Unhappy propaganda hero Adam I love you. The source of General Eiling (asshole).

Suicide Squad (1-22) (1987-1988)

Oh man 1987 Amanda Waller is so good, she's such a complicated bitch I love her. The series as a whole is also v good, but it can be disjointed because of the rotating cast.

Wonder Woman (1-24) (1987-1988)

So I am mad about what the crisis did to the wonderfam but also this incarnation of Diana is So Good, I love her 500%

Flash (1-20) (1987-1988)

Wally u are so different from Barry but I am excited to see how you will learn and grow. I'm very into the set-up he's got going. It was super funny to me that they were like... hmm give him money problems, no wait, we don't want to deal with that, give him cash, no wait, we Do want to deal with that, take all his cash.

The Question (1-25) (1986-1989)

Vic Sage is a nerd but also hello Lady Shiva! Very much darker, mature label, but not often excessively so? Doesn't tend to be gritty for grittiness' sake alone. Tells stories well.

The Spectre (1-20) (1987-1988)

Ended up with this run because it has a lot of mystic backstory going on and had two issues in millennium. Not really my favorite title, but does have a lot of important stuff happening.

Zatanna Special (1987)

Important in between of Zatanna's last appearance in JLA, Swamp Thing, and Spectre, but I do not think it would make sense as a stand alone.

Dead Man (1-4) (1986)

If I had realized that this mini follows up on the tail end of the last dead man mini I would have read it last month, but I didn't realize that, rip.

Phantom Stranger (1-4) (1987)

This mini is in direct conversation with Spectre and the Dr. Fate mini, and is pretty important for knowing whats going on in the mystic side of DC.

Dr. Fate (1-4) (1987)

This mini is pretty much a sequel to the Phantom Stranger mini, and follows up with the big mystic happenings.

Millennium Event (1-8 + all tie-ins) (1987-1988)

Millennium my beloathed. The event itself is well written and has an engaging storytelling, but I hate hate hate what it does to the tie-in issues, just having random trusted characters be traitors for no good reasons. Totally wrecked Infinity Inc and The Outsiders, and other titles didn't get away unscathed either.

The New Guardians (1-5) (1988)

This series is the pay off of millennium, with this team of heros being gathered and taught all through that event. It's not a mini, issue 6 is when it hits invasion. Got a lot more serious a lot quicker than I thought it would, but honestly I'm a little disappointed because the millennium event ends with them basically being enlightened beings and you don't really see any of that in their own series.

Power Girl (1-4) (1988)

This is a fun mini to help set up Power Girl's new origin story (deffo read the secret origins issue before the mini). A good stand alone that manages to not make me too angry about coie retcons.

Deadshot (1-4) (1988)

This mini is basically an off-shoot of Suicide Squad, not a standalone. V v dark and edgy but a good glimpse into deadshot's psyche i guess

Checkmate (1-10) (1988)

Involved with suicide squad and JLI so I picked it up. Not really my fave, but love that Harvey fuckin Bullock is a high-up in this secret government spy organization i had no clue.

Doom Patrol (1-16) (1987-1988)

Told some friends I would read this one. I was a little bit lost because it is deffo a sequel to the previous doom patrols and I only ever saw them in crossover issues. Good so far.

Animal Man (1-5) (1988)

Not a mini, issue 6 is when it hits invasion. What i got to was honestly a lot more serious than I expected it to be (look animal man is a goofy name), but it really works for the environmentalist stories that they're telling.

Green Arrow (1-13) (1988)

We are continuing with dark and gritty Ollie i guess. I like him better than he was in long bow hunters, but he has lightened up a bit from that. Enjoying the series so far.

Forever People (1-6) (1988)

This mini was disappointing at first cause the starting vibe is Extremely Different from the 70s Forever People, but it ended up with a similar vibe. I don't think its as good as the og, but Kirby can't be beat, so they did a good job trying.

Starman (1-4) (1988)

Not a mini, issue 5 is when it hits invasion. I like it a lot so far, this guy is a good original sort of hero and the run itself is fairly humorous.

Batgirl Special (1988)

Follows up with Bab's doubts about being a superhero that were introduced in coie, her final case that leads to her retirement as Batgirl.

Batman: The Killing Joke (1988)

I guess as Joker stories go this is a good one? But its deffo v v heavy on the gritty shock value alone, and obvs does babs v dirty.

Detective Comics (582-593) (1988)

We've moved away from tec and batman being completely intertwined. Interesting to note that Robin did not show up once, even in the background.

Batman (415-425) (1988)

Ahhh its the beginning of the end for Jason TT-TT. I stopped before death in the family cause I'm pretty sure that technically happens post invasion.

Batman: The Cult (1-4) (1988)

This mini is sorta pointlessly dark and gritty. Its supposedly self contained but a lot of shit happens that should have lasting effects on Gotham but are never mentioned again. Some good Jason moments but not worth the rest of it. Written by Jim Starlin (heavy sigh)

And we are almost almost to the invasion event!

Bonus: the first 4 weeks of the Comic Kon reading club, where we're currently reading the origin of Superboy! It's a fun server and its only a few issues each week so its very manageable, folks should join! (it'd be pretty easy to catch up right now!)

[batstorm93672]

Champion

This is part 3

<<<Previous ~First~ Next>>>

Damn, blood is coming out of my mouth and nose, this boy might just be older than me too. I don't want to fight like this, it isn't right.

He kept Damian in a chokehold, Damian could barely breath as it stood. It isn't right for children to be fighting like this.

I can't die... not like this, not now.

Only one choice...

Win...

Win...

Win...

I must win...

My purpose is to win

Damian wrapped his legs around the kid and headbutt him, taking the chance given to flip him on his back. Damian grabbed the kid's head and snarled. "I won't lose"

Win

Win

Win

Live

End it

You must live

Live!

Win!

Crack

Damian moved a bit back, moving his hands away from the child. It was silent, then an uproar of cheers exploded some booed most likely the ones who lost their money. Damian stood up and looked at the audience with a glare. It only seemed to fuel the fire as they cheered even harder.

I won

I won't lose

I'll live

Damian looked down at the dead child, his neck snapped. Yet Damian didn't look upset or frightened. As a matter of fact, he had no expression to show, it's just like back then.

I won... I killed to win

I refuse to die, someone will come soon. Father, Richard, Timothy, Jason, someone will save every child from this Hell. Until then... I have to win.

And so he did.

He won.

He bled.

He suffered.

He cried.

He screamed.

He won.

He lived.

A week in and he won, of course he had close calls and sometimes it came to a draw. The man in charge was fine with that too, he knows how to run a business as ugly as this, the man claimed Damian as his Champion. He knows just as much as Damian that if he kept winning easily then they'll be bored. It's how these bastards work, they come for a show. During a few matches he did want to give in and let someone beat him to death. Then the surge of life and death kicked in and he fought with teeth bared. He killed in so many ways.

Cracked a few jaws.

Broke a few bones.

Ripped some skin.

Tasted blood.

He had to win.

~

"Why didn't you find me sooner? Did you not care..?" Damian glared at Bruce, so much anger fueling through him. The Lazarus Pit was a big factor in his rage in the ring as well. It's why he sometimes felt nothing after killing someone, because the influence took over and his morals meant nothing.

"We looked everywhere Damian, I never would've stopped-"

"Yet this elluded the great detective, I'm calling bullshit here. World's greatest yet you couldn't even find your own son! Admit it! Say you didn't care and I'll stomp out of this cave and you won't see me ever again!"

"No! It's not true Damian. I love you so much, I haven't stopped looking and I refused to lose you again"

"...I want to be alone... I- I won't leave, I just want to lie down"

Damian left the cave, heading up to see Alfred with a tray of brownies. "Master Damian, I heard what happened. Is everything alright?"

"I... I did bad things again, I just... I need time"

Damian got to his room and moved to his desk, grabbing a piece of paper and a pencil. His mind wandered, the pictures were a clear visual of not even half of what he's seen. The first one... it was the child's snapped neck. His name... was hard to remember. They were given titles and numbers at first, Damian's number at first was #643 then his title was Champion better known to the bidders as Storm Devil.

.

Something touched him and Damian woke up by slamming them to the floor and pressing his foot against their neck over the windpipe. Any harder and they'll die from lack of air or snapping bones. "D-Damian! It's Dick, please let go" Damian looked down at him as if he was nothing. Then snapped out of it, light coming back into his eyes as he stepped back. "Why the hell are you here? Wasn't I clear enough yesterday?" "I know, I just had to make sure you were okay. I worry" "Stop worrying, I'm fine" "I came to tell you that breakfast is ready"

"I'll be there. You can go now Richard"

Alfred had already set a plate for Damian, everyone was seated minus for the family members who weren't here today: Cass, Jason and Duke. So now it's Steph, Dick and Tim then the usual residents of course. They were glancing at him every now and then, considering he's been watched for a month now he knows when someone is watching. "If any of you want to speak then I suggest you do so now. I rather not be stared at like an item you found and have no clue how to use"

Stephanie broke the silence with a smile "What do you plan to do after breakfast?"

"Go to my room"

"Well would you wanna watch a movie?"

"What movie?"

"Beauty and the Beast? We can critic it again, heck we can watch the live version and do the same"

"No, I'd rather go to my room"

"Oh okay, well holler at me if you change your mind"

Well Champion, are you willing to live another day?

Tt. Who's next

Make sure to give them a good match to go home to

"Hey? You doing okay there?" "I'm fine, let me just--"

Someone else was fighting him, preparing to strike. He won't lose! Damian gripped the person's arms and slammed them to the floor, wrapping his hands around their neck and the Lazarus Pit was basically screaming at him to keep going.

It's not right... I...

Damian loosened his grip "No... no I can't" Damian was moved to the side. It was Stephanie, she was coughing and yet she looked worried. Bruce was the one who moved Damian away, everyone was checking on Stephanie.

Yet she stilled smiled her best and looked at Damian "Don't worry about it D. I didn't mean to scare you by moving behind. I should've said something"

Why is he like this? He can't even be around his family properly now. A whole month... fighting, struggling and bleeding. He finally made it to a place of comfort and yet he was screwing that up too. Damian left the room, heading to his room without a second glance back. Slamming his door shut and locking it as he curled up on his bed and hid.

.

Get the kid on the chair, think his lungs might be full of water, gotta clean it out

How many sparks today?

Six for now

.

So how's he looking?

Ready for the ring

Good. This show is gonna be good

.

I'll kill you!

...no. You most definitely won't

There you have it folks! Storm Devil has won thirty fights in a row in just a week! Hence he will be known as our first ever, Champion!

You live another day Champion. Making me proud. Heh, you keep glaring at me like that you sure got guts. Just make sure those guts don't spill on the ring and you won't lose

.

"Damian"

Damian opened his eyes and sat up, he didn't sleep just lost in thought. "Who is it?" "Dick" "Come in" "It's locked" "Oh, right"

Unlocking it, Dick smiled a bit "Hey there. How is everything going?" "Is... is she okay?" "Come on, you know Steph she's a fighter, she wouldn't go down without a fight" "Yeah... she wouldn't, are you here on Father's request?" "Yes and no. I showed up because he asked me to see what you were doing. I decided to see how you are doing. So, how are you?"

"I'm... out of it I suppose. I feel like I'm still fighting..." Damian sat on his bed and Dick sat next to him. Damian entangled his fingers through his hair "I'm still fighting... still killing, I snapped his neck and I don't even know who he was yet I remember the look on his face, he was terrified and angry. He was going to kill me. Instead I killed him... and many others who I don't even know either. Boys, girls, men, women who I never knew yet I slaughtered them without a thought. A part of me didn't even care"

"We--" Dick shook his head slightly and looked at Damian with a fierce look "I should have found you. I should have looked more, you were alone for so long... it's not fair to go through so much. I should've found you"

"Don't blame yourself... you all looked, I'm furious still for reasons I can't explain. Maybe the Pit, the flashbacks, the fear or guilt turning into anger... I don't know how to get over it, there's still so much of my childhood fighting in me and I thought I could move past some of it yet I'm right back where I started" Damian threw himself into Dick's arms and held him tightly. Dick shook of the quick surprise he felt and hugged Damian. "Please stay... I don't want to be alone, his voice is in my head and it won't go away. He called me "his" I was just a toy to them and I don't want to be a part of it anymore"

"I'm here, I got you. No one can hurt or use you ever again"

[morgana-ren]

How do the Bastard Four™ celebrate their world's holidays? With or without a girl involved, your choice.

Oh good god it can get real fucking weird.

Alright, so, naturally, it depends per holiday. Christmas is VASTLY different than, say, Valentine's day. A lot of it depends on how much they care for you. If it's your first year with them? Whew boy.

Keep the fuck away from Valentine's Day, Christ on a cross, keep away from Valentine's day. If you're going to choose a day to try to run away, Valentine's day is a good one-- but it might not help. They'll just make you do it on the 15th or whatever.

Reaver uses any and all holiday as an excuse to demand the nasty, sick, atrocious, degrading sex he wants (not that he doesn't do that anyway but you know.) Christmas? It's his present. Hannukah? It's his present. Independence day? Pay him tribute, you wouldn't be celebrating it without rich pricks like him. St. Patricks day? He doesn't know what Ireland is but he's happy to get drunk and make you suck him like a lollipop. (He doesn't know what most holidays are but he will abuse it anyway. Any excuse to spend money.) Don't forget his birthday. Basically any excuse he can. That's just who he is. Any excuse for sex and getting absolutely trashed and spending absurd amounts of money doing it.

If he really likes you, he will dote on you. You'll be getting some really expensive, lovely things (which honestly you get a lot of anyway because he buys your affection) but by God, at what cost. Later on down the line when he's grown very attached, Reaver will make a whole deal of your birthday or Christmas or any holiday where he has an excuse to show off. He will make it a point to 'outdo' the others. He will spend millions to make you like him better than the others. When he is trying to genuinely express himself, he will make you something. He'll give you the most beautiful painting you've ever seen like it's nothing and hide the fact that he painted it just for you.

Astarion has, like, no idea about holidays outside of what Corvus tells him. He's not religious and he's never particularly cared either. He will happily abuse them like the others, however. He's the most likely to be nicer about it, especially over the others, because he's a manipulative shit and he knows the others are going to go nuts and he could be favored if he plays his cards right. He realizes it could be an important day. He will get you presents and what not, but he expects something in return, obviously. He will get just as weird with it as the other ones if they really encourage him, but sometimes he's going to deliberately try to antagonize you so you snap and start acting up in the hopes that the others toss you to him to 'discipline.' That's his present. He could be the sweetest, or he could be the fuckin' worst.

Astarion doesn't buy affection like Reaver does, but he will steal some money from Reaver to get you something nice that he thinks you'll like if it's a gift giving holiday. He's less flash and more thought. Mostly he, like the others, uses holidays as an excuse to get closer to you or to get something he wants. But once he really loves and cares about you, he will use it to express his feelings for you in ways he normally wouldn't. He struggles with gifts but he's going to try to get you something that you would enjoy.

Ilya doesn't understand modern holidays. At all. He understands religion. He remembers his old one. But considering he's a devil and so is Corvus, and they literally know what is on the other side, he doesn't understand what the point is in pretending. That being said, he will humor you if you believe it's important, mostly because he finds it fascinating and he tucks it away in his mental catalog. He will exchange gifts and pleasantries but mostly it's just a study. He, like all of the others, will abuse holidays, but he's a bit... weirder with it.

If he genuinely likes you, he will get you something he knows you truly want or enjoy. His presents are always a bit more 'meaningful' to the point you might actually be surprised he even knows. He favors books and trips for memories and other things that have lasting impact. He will abuse holidays for sex as well, but the way he sees it, he's doing that anyway. It's just a game to him.

With Corvus, it depends. Are you actually religious? Because if you are, he will observe it, but he gets very very weird about it. He's going to twist words and scriptures and do an in-depth deep dive into your religion so he can 'punish' you if you slip up. He genuinely believes your God is inferior to his, but religious girls get his rocks off, even if they're only religious by blood. He's going to pull the whole 'submit to your husband' shit and things of that nature. Holidays are an excuse for him to exercise different forms of depravity that he doesn't always get to. That's really only part of it. Truth is, he's going to take control of the day and manipulate it to get whatever he wants out of it. He just also has an overpowering religious fetish.

Like all of the guys, when he actually loves you, he's likely to be a bit softer. He will use certain holidays to express his love for you in ways he won't usually throughout the year. He can be genuinely kind and thoughtful. Family and spending time together are very important, so he's the most likely to get into the 'spirit' of the holiday by trying to make everyone spend time and be nice-- sometimes at your expense. But Corvus is remarkably observant and you might be surprised at just how incredibly thoughtful he can be. There's going to be something you want desperately, and while you won't ever get what you truly want (freedom) but he'll get you something so touching you might cry. This is a double-whammy for him.

Ultimately, this is just a quick rundown and really, it heavily depends per holiday. If there's a particular holiday or guy or whatever else have you have in mind, let me know.

When it comes to just regular holidays without an object of affection, they don't always celebrate. Corvus will say it's his birthday same as he always does when there's something he wants. Astarion won't know what day it is until you tell him. Reaver will go all out and be extravagant but that's not because he's observing the holiday, he's just being a cock. Ilya will just go "Huh. Okay." The only holidays that matter in that house are Banite holidays, which Corvus is extremely pious about. He will make Reaver and Astarion observe, because they technically converted to get him to shut up about it.

[snowcandyz]

Random Obey Me! Headcanon #3

Genre: Fluff with a slight of crack here and there. A lot of family bonding too :3

In the anime teaser and manga, Mammon is shown to be the one who always indulges Satan's toddler requests. We know that Lucifer influenced Satan the most, but I love to think that Mammon actually helps him a lot when he first started knowing about things in Devildom. Sure, in terms of personality or way of thinking, Lucifer wins, but Mammon was the one who taught Satan how to wash dishes, to lawn the mower, to not put metal items in the microwave, to not run away from Lucifer's lecture if he didn't want to get more punishment from the eldest. Basically, Mammon is the 'mother' of Satan. In fact, he's also one of the few who first taught him how to read. So, whenever Satan gets turned into a toddler by the cursed book, Mammon can't help wanting to spoil him because he's reminded of the past.

Because Simeon is still practising his typing skills in D.D.D, he sometimes accidentally sent/spam stickers to everyone else. For Luke, it was no big deal since he'll probably ask Simeon what it meant, but for Solomon? The sorcerer will bombard another massive wave of emojis/stickers back to Simeon, making Simeon thinks that it's normal to spam stickers in Human culture.

Because of this, MC too got sticker spammed by Simeon.

I love to imagine that Lucifer gives the brothers their monthly pocket money. Everyone gets the same amount, but if they wanted more money, they'll need to work part-time jobs.

Sike! Mammon got -2% less pocket money than others. This is because he wants Mammon to storm to his study and demand more money from Lucifer. Just a way to see his cutest brother sulk like a puppy *shrug*

Lucifer has one specific rule when it comes to dining together. When the meals are done, the brothers cannot, under any circumstances, use their D.D.D to call down everyone for dinner. No text, no calls, no anything. They must walk on foot to the respective brothers' room and call them for dinner one by one. This is actually just a way for Lucifer to know whether any of his brothers are having fallouts or arguments with each other.

Mammon is the peacemaker in the family. Even though he's always bickering with Levi, we didn't see them fighting to the point of having cold wars. So when his brothers are arguing with each other, he'll be on the neutral side that listens to every side's stories. Mammon will then advise them to make up with each other, in a subtle way. (One of the reasons why Lucifer relies on Mammon a lot when he's too busy to keep up with the family drama)

On times that Diavolo can't log in to his game due to his demanding workload, he will ask for Levi's help to log into his games and claim the daily login bonuses. Also help tend to his farm in the game Devil Farmer. And also help feed his virtual pets in Devil Pets. Long story short, Levi now works a part-time job as Diavolo's virtual farmer/petsitter.

The fact that almost 75% of the problem that Lucifer heard complaints of comes from Levi and Mammon themselves, even though they are the big brothers, made Lucifer wonder if those two are truly capable of being in the big brother squad. Until he was away for an errand one day and discovered that those two prevented a huge physical altercation between their little brothers and some middle-class demons.

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[nyxthejinx]

Not gonna lie, i had a thought about the sibling au and it won’t leave my mind. Like imagine for a sec if childe ever met with diluc and kaeya (because the idea of original vs found family makes me feel emotional) like reader either a) runs to childe after the mondstat conflict again emotionally drained or hurt (doesn’t matter in particular) and childe is ready to go to mondstat to raise hell or b) childe and the reader see diluc and kaeya and the reader just clings to childe and calls him their big brother (i just keep imagining childe being smug as hell about it) and watching diluc and kaeya pale as the one of the fatui harbingers took their spot as big brothers and they don’t have a good argument to say how they are better brothers

Childe raising hell for adopted younger sibling is clearly canon. He'd stop at nothing to make them feel better, whether it takes money, comfort food cooked by none other than himself, or some extra violence while they're not looking.

I'm sure he'd take up the role of guardian devil angel as soon as he sees them covered in mud and trembling in Dottore's coat like a lost puppy, but when he finds out about their past? He's not "paying a visit" to Mond only because they begged him to let it be. He's livid, whoever treats their loved ones like this is not family.

So, instead of doing his own justice, Childe focuses on giving reader everything they had lost. Asks for their custody (would fistfight a horde of Dottore clones if needed), helps them become stronger and confident, but most importantly tries to keep them as far as possible from Mondstadt until they're ready to go back.

If they end up there because of a mission he can't change, he'll be both anxious cause duh, they're not completely ready on a psychological level, but also kind of thrilled to see if they'll make use of his teachings and yeah, take some good revenge.

And if he's assigned to that mission as well? F for Diluc and Kaeya cause he's about to destroy them with a mere easygoing smile and some passive aggressive words. "Oh, so you're y/n's old brothers? I've heard a lot about you two. Whether it was good or bad things is up to your conscience imagination ahah."

He'll keep a protective arm around your shoulders, tightening the grip as he notices Diluc borderline having and aneurysm, and go on nonchalantly "Well, we'll go now, promised my little sibling here a good meal after this long journey."

And that's it, enjoy your permanence in the city of Freedom where you've never felt more free than now, with this absolute menace by your side.

[theninthdoor]

taeyong || ideal type; tarot reading

disclaimer: in my Ideal Type readings, I look into what the person in question is currently (consciously and unconsciously) attracted to! it's not necessarily their perfect match or the one they will end up with.

✦ Impression (What is seen externally // Might not accuratelly represent the person):

cards: two of pentacles (page of wands), eight of wands, four of cups reversed (wheel of fortune)

Taeyong's ideal type gives off the impression of someone who's energetic, talkative and, most likely, extroverted. This is the sort of individual who's very hard to pin down, as they're never in the same place for too long and nothing about them is ever consistent. There's always more than one thing going on in this person's life a certain moment, however, they still manage to fit more into their schedule if something fun comes up all of a sudden. With that said, we also see that this person is not an initiator or a planner, but they'll go along with whatever plans you present to them, specially if it something new that they have never tried before or if it sounds rather adventurous and exciting. On a daily basis, when you meet them randomly somewhere, they're that person who's always in a rush, holding a thousand things in their hands and talking at the speed of light. And, if they're in a room full of people, they may keep multiple conversations at the same time, yet still find a way to match the energy of whoever they're talking to in that particular moment. All in all, Taeyong's ideal type is someone who looks like they find it very easy to adapt to different situations, environments and people. They're not scared of looking silly or being out of their comfort zone, as experimenting and changing things up is what they thrive on. (Mind you, Taeyong has a Gemini Venus…)

✦ Personality:

cards: nine of cups, the devil (nine of swords, knight of swords reversed), two of cups

Personality wise, we notice here a person who's much more intense than what their impression would make them seem like. Similarly to what we saw previously, they sure enjoy living life to the fullest and experimenting as much as they can. This individual would find a lot a pleasure in going to the best hotels and restaurants around the world, and they'd also probably be willing to pay good money to live out their dream experiences. The same way, anything that is advertised as the "best of the best", they would most likely give a chance without much of a thought (be it a smartphone, a spa, a refrigerator, etc… literally anything at all!). However, there is also a side of this that is quite unhealthy and may cause them a lot of trouble. On one hand, his ideal type might be someone who uses shopping or food as a way to deal with stress. Or, on the other hand, they become very stressed when they feel like they're missing out on a trend, so they impulsively run for it before it's too late and, because of this, they can easily go overboard with spending money on that particular item/service/etc. Overall, they have an issue with measuring how much is too much, and how much they actually need (material wise and experience wise). Also, and I feel like it relates a lot to this last part, they're that type of person who relies a lot on their connections and also generally in the people around them. They want to be liked, so they do all they can to make sure they're never disliked or set aside by others. Because of this, they may fall into the trap of doing things out of desperation to keep people's attention and affection on them. Sadly, in this person's mind, if they're not perfect to those around them, they have no value as a human being. But, at the same time, they're the type to give you all they have if they love you. Truly, they're romantics and idealists, who value deep bonds, but may fail to value themselves as they are.

✦ What his ideal type should provide in a relationship:

cards: knight of swords reversed (justice, queen of cups), ace of pentacles, four of swords

Right off the bat, this comes off to me as him desiring someone who will defend him no matter what; someone who will have his back regardless of the situation, people involved, or regardless of the consequences of doing so. In fact, it feels like he might even enjoy seeing this person argue with other people over him, simply out of impulse and due to their strong emotional attachment to him (even though, if we're honest, it's not really a very positive thing for either of them…). On the other hand, there should also be some level of stability and harmony. The relationship would have to be set on a safe and strong foundation, built and maintained by both partners. Knowing that his s/o is dependable and truthfully invested in the grownth of the relationship is a must for Taeyong. And, although he does seem to look for someone who's very attached, quite emotional and sort of protective of him, he still wishes for them to provide him with his much needed alone time. In that sense, not only does he want to be able to spend time by himself, but he also seeks to maintain a certain level of privacy - by that I mean them not demanding to look through his phone every other day, or asking him where he's at 24/7 and with whom, or even them not trying to tell him how he should be living his life in general.

(Disclaimer: all readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)

[ilovefandoms102]

Suga Daddy- Part 1*

Pairing: Chris Evans x Plus Size Reader, Chris Evans x Sugar Baby! Plus Size! Reader

Summary: Chris makes his move…

Note: I’m so so excited to get this first part up I hope you guys like it🥰

Click here to be added to my taglist!

Warnings🛑: heavy smut(age gap, sugar daddy/sugar baby, unprotected vaginal sex, oral(fem receiving), spanking, beard kink, breeding kink, daddy kink, dom/sub aspects, praise kink)

Part 2*

Please read the warnings I’m not responsible for your media consumption.

Special shout-out to my bestie @fairyevans​ for making this for me🥰

Dressed in that leather

That salt and pepper

Walked across the bar and then he ordered me a vesper

Say he a businessman

He wanna be my friend

Say he in town for the weekend and need some pleasure

Now he wanna take me to the room

And he said I'll do anything for you ooh

So I gave him the number to my bank

And I'll come up as soon as it comes through

You smirked to yourself as the man approached you, it’s showtime…

“A G&T, and another of whatever the lady is having on the tab for Evans…Chris Evans.” the man said, your brow arching at the familiar sounding name.

“Of course Mr.Evans, coming right up.” the bartender replied, turning their back as they made the order.

“I’m used to men thinking they know what a woman wants to drink.” you said as you peered up at Mr.Evans through your lashes.

The deep chuckle that rumbled from his chest had you squeezing your thighs together.

“If I’m going to pay for a beautiful woman’s drink, I’d hope it’d be something she likes.” Chris chuckled, staring deeply into your eyes.

“Tell me your name pretty,” he said, his voice so demanding it made you shiver a bit.

“Y/n,” you answered, air whooshing from your lungs as his eyes darkened.

“A beautiful name for a beautiful woman.” he hummed, taking his drink which the bartender brought along with yours.

A few drinks later along with small talk, Chris was actually a really amazing man. He grew up in Boston, graduated top of his class in college and owned several businesses.

“I have an offer for you Miss Y/n.” Chris smiled mischievously, his hand squeezing your thigh.

“And what’s that Mr.Evans?” you questioned, biting your lip as you slowly looked up into his eyes.

“I’m back in town for a while, and to put it quite plainly…I need some pleasure. I’m offering you a life of no worries that’s all on your terms.” he explained, heart galloping as he awaited your response.

“Hmmm, that’s a very enticing offer, so where are you staying?” you asked, wondering if this man had as much money as he claimed.

Chris leaned in close, close enough you felt his breath on your lips. You couldn’t keep yourself from glancing at them, they were so plump and inviting.

“I actually own the hotel across the street…so what do you say pretty?” he asked again, his lips brushing yours.

This is where you had to play your cards, so with a smirk, you grabbed a napkin and a pen. You jotted down some numbers and slid them over.

“I’ll come up as soon as it comes through handsome.” you winked, strutting your way out of the bar.

Your jaw practically fell to the ground as you stared at the notification from your bank.

Christopher Evans deposited $20,000 to account number xxxxxx1234

You gulped as you stood in front of the extremely expensive looking hotel, glancing down at the text message from the devil himself.

Chris❤️: Tell the front desk your name and they'll escort you to my room. Can't wait to see you pretty😉

Were you actually about to do this?

Is this wrong?

A part of you told you to run, but the other part said who the fuck cares. This hot ass man is paying you half of your student loans to have sex with him, and dammit you were doing it. You held your head high as you walked to the receptionist, the old woman immediately giving you a nasty look.

“Hello, my name is y/n, I believe Mr.Evans is expecting me.” you smiled kindly.

The woman’s eyes widened, her expression changing into a friendly hostess.

“Of course, right this way my dear.” she squeaked, maneuvering from the desk to meet you where you stood.

She led you to the elevators which were separate not only from the reception area which was practically the size of a house, but also away from two restaurants, a breakfast area, and a convenience shop. Twenty thousand must be like pocket change to Chris.

The receptionist rode up with you to the 15th floor, escorting you to the end of the hall where a double door sat.

“Enjoy your stay Miss Y/n,” she chirped, leaving you alone as she bustled back to the elevator.

It was like he sensed your presence because in the next second, the door was opening. Chris had changed into a much more casual outfit, replacing his suit for jeans and a grey, long sleeved shirt.

“Please, come in.” he grinned as he stepped aside.

You had to fight to keep your mouth from dropping again as you took in the apartment sized room. Aligned with glass windows, the room glowed under the soft light of the chandelier that hung in the middle of the high ceiling. On your right, a complete kitchen that led to both a dining table and a couch with a flat screen TV, and on the left, an Alaskan king bed completed with long drapes. To the left of the bed sat a large clawfoot bathtub, your thoughts immediately leading to him fucking you in that bathtub.

“It’s not much, but it’ll do for the time being.” he shrugged, sitting your purse and coat on the end stand table beside the door.

“It’s perfect,” you muttered, still in awe of such beauty a room could hold.

Chris chuckled, finding it completely adorable how enamored you were with just the room. He secretly hoped with time, you’d look at him the same way.

You turned, walking closer and wrapping yourself around his muscular body. You didn’t even want to think about your arrangement, just him. You wanted your mind and body to be completely his.

“Tell me what you want pretty,” he murmured, his blue eyes gazing into yours so deep you swore he was trying to entrance you.

“I want you…to fuck me.” you grinned seductively, the growl that emitted from his chest making you shiver.

In the next second, you were airborne as Chris lifted you into his arms. He laid you down gently on the bed, his hands roaming your voluptuous figure. You couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped as he groped your tits, eager for more.

“So responsive pretty, god you’re gorgeous.” Chris hummed, pulling down the straps of your dress.

“Chris, please.” you whined, gasping when his big hand swatted your ass.

“You call me daddy babygirl.” he instructed, your head nodding immediately.

“Sorry daddy,” you whispered, pouting your bottom lip.

Chris leaned down and kissed your perfect lips, his tongue swiping around to taste you. He pulled down the front of your dress, grabbing a hold of your boobs and swiping his thumbs over your perky nipples. Your back arched into him, the tingling feeling making your clit throb.

You wanted him to ruin you.

Chris moved his kisses down your neck, taking his time as he left love bites. He would make sure everyone knew you were his. One thumb he was using to swipe at your nipples traveled down, down until he reached your thong. He pulled away, looking down at the soaked fabric as he hooked his finger in the front, and pulled it between your pussy lips.

“Hmmm, my pretty baby is soaked.” Chris grinned, your hips shooting up before Chris clamped them down with his other hand.

“Be good.” he growled, using your panties to run against your clit.

“Daddy please, I want you.” you whined, tears of frustration starting to build.

Chris took mercy on you, peeling your ruined undies down your legs. You slid your dress the rest of the way off, your naked body completely exposed to him.

Chris was in complete awe of your body, his dick growing painfully harder the longer he stared. You sat up, sliding your hands under his shirt to find hard muscles, the ridges of his abs coming into view. He pulled his shirt the rest of the way off, planting a hand to your chest and pushing you down.

“Stay still pretty, daddy is going to eat his desert.” he smirked, propping your legs up on the bed and going to town.

“Fuck daddy!” you cried, your hands fisting in his hair as his tongue worked you.

Chris nuzzled his nose against your clit as his tongue fucked you, curling up into that spot that had your eyes rolling. He moaned at your taste, the sweet nectar the best he’s ever had. He swore to himself he would eat you out any chance he got, no matter the time or place.

Your sweet mewls urged him on, licking his way up to take your clit in his mouth. Your chest heaved as he sucked, he had to be some kind of magician. You’ve never felt this much pleasure in your life.

“I’m so close daddy.” you panted, wrapping your legs around his head to keep him there.

You welcomed the burning of his beard, knowing the red welts would be a reminder of how good your daddy was to you.

“Cum for your daddy pretty girl.” he growled, inserting his fingers and curling them inside you.

He shook his head against you, burying his face further which caused him to hit spots you didn’t even know you had. Chris fingered you harder, hitting that spongy spot which had you screaming as your orgasm crashed.

Your body shook as Chris stimulated you through your high, eventually taking his fingers out so he could lap up your cum. Chris laid gentle kisses on your thighs, smoothing his hand on your belly as you calmed down.

“You did so good pretty, daddy is so proud of you.” Chris praised, your cheeks heating as your heart thumped that he was being so sweet.

“I want to do something for you now, daddy.” you smiled, rubbing your thumbs along his bearded cheeks.

“Not tonight pretty, tonight is all about you.” he said as he kissed your lips sweetly.

“Chris…” you whispered, unsure as you came out of character to make sure that’s what he wanted.

“I’m sure sweet girl, daddy is going to take care of his baby.” he whispered against your lips.

Chris kept kissing you as he removed his pants along with his boxers, giving himself a few tugs before teasing your entrance with his tip.

“Please,” you whimpered, pushing your hips towards his.

“Shhhh baby, relax.” Chris whispered, slowly entering you.

You couldn’t even form thoughts about the feeling, he was stretching you perfectly. His eyes stayed glued on your face, needing to capture every reaction as you felt his every move. You let out a whiny moan, he was so big, and it felt so, so good.

“You’re perfect pretty, so fuckin’ perfect.” Chris growled, bottoming out as he let out a sexy groan.

“Feels so good daddy,” you smiled, raking your nails up his back into his hair.

Chris slowly began to thrust, watching as your pussy swallowed his cock so beautifully. His lips reattached to yours, swallowing your cries of passion.

“Daddy, give it to me, please.” you begged, wanting nothing more than for him to ram you with his cock.

“You sure baby? Daddy doesn’t want to hurt his baby.” he pouted, and you reassured him with a single kiss.

Chris smirked as he picked up his pace, slamming his hips into yours. You threw your head back, wrapping your legs around his waist. Chris bit and licked at your skin, his beard scraping against the heated skin which made your clit throb even harder.

“You like daddy’s cock baby?” Chris asked, grinning as your head nodded.

Chris sat up, grabbing a hold of your hips and jack hammered into you. A scream flew from your lips, the heat in your abdomen rising rapidly. You knew he was hitting your gspot by the way your legs shook, the pleasure becoming so overwhelming your brain couldn’t function.

“Gonna cum again for daddy pretty?” he questioned, feeling close himself.

“Yes, yes daddy.” you answered, squeaking when his thumb snuck down to rub your clit in tight circles.

“Daddy is gonna fill you up baby, and you’re gonna take every last drop.” he growled, pistoning his hips faster.

“Oh fuck daddy! Don't stop!” you screamed.

The band snapped, and you released all over Chris. You clamped down on Chris, milking him as he released inside of you seconds later. He held himself in as he collapsed on your chest, sticky bodies meshing together. Once the two of you had calmed down, Chris was placing gentle kisses on your cheeks.

He already knew this was going to be so much fun, and he couldn’t wait to explore this new relationship with you.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Hey i just had a weird thought about mammon and its mostly like, do you think he still had the power to bless people with money when he was angel? Bc there’s two sides to money when it comes to religion and one is where wealth is the favor of god (so, having it but not necessarily wanting it) and the other where it is the temptation of the devil (hoarding it, willing to do whatever bad thing to acquire), so i think it would be interesting if he could do so. Perhaps an angel though he could only do it to people who fulfill a certain standard (perhaps devotion to god?) and was forbidden from blessing anyone else so maybe thats why he went around doing ridiculous shit like selling “raphael’s” feathers so he could give money to people he thought needed it but didn’t meet the standard/were “worthy” of it. Then when he became a demon he had free reign and started blessing people like crazy but he unknowingly made it like a gateway drug to the other sins (bc if you’re so wealthy its obviously bc you deserve it right? (Pride), or if you’re so wealthy you can make everyone do everything for you why bother doing it yourself? (Sloth), you see how it goes right?)

Anyways long ramble cut really short bc i have bad articulation skills but Mammon’s ability to bless others with fortune being present since he was an angel and it being one of the most corruptible forces making him the second most powerful brother (or maybe the most? Idk greed is scary when you think of it in how capitalism destroys lives)

So this is a pretty sound theory (I particularly love the favour of god vs the temptation of the devil part cause I am a sucker for parallels and equal but opposing forces) but to answer the first question you asked: I don't think he had that power as an angel, cause I'm one of those assholes who can't help but stick to canon as much as possible

So here's why I don't agree

1. Heaven & Angels

• I don't think the angels in OM! have the same significance as angels in irl religion (I also think that the celestial realm is not heaven nor is it that similar to heaven. I made a post about it here)

• By that I mean, I don't think angels in OM! offer blessings to humans? Because:

-> They were at war with the demons during the time and probably couldn't spare the time

-> It was forbidden for angels to go to the human world or interact with humans at the time

-> The whole Lilith thing happened cause she "blessed" a human

2. Mammon's Role

• Even if angels gave blessings I don't think it'd fall under Mammon's jurisdiction

• OM! angels seem like a very strict set who are expected to stick to the roles assigned to their level in the hierarchy

• Mammon was first an archangel - a warrior in the war - and then a throne - basically Lucifer's assistant

3. Greed

• Even as angels the brothers had their sins or they displayed their sins to a lesser extent (eg: Asmo flirted a lot (had romantic partners?) and liked parties, Beel ate a lot and was restraining himself from doing so, Levi was envious of everyone else having set positions after the War ended, Belphie ran away from work to hide in his tree and take naps, Mammon was running the whole Raphael's feathers scam, Lucifer's pride was a large part of why his first interaction with Diavolo was like that)

• As a demon, the whole process of people Mammon favours, getting lucky with money seems wholly unconscious from Mammon's side. In a devilgram, Mammon takes MC out to gamble for the first time and you can play MC as being completely incompetent at it but they'll still keep getting lucky and will end up winning every round they play. Mammon's just as shocked by this as them

• So Mammon doesn't willingly give money to people he favours. And he if was still greedy as an angel then he probably didn't willingly give money back then too

[fratboykate]

Papi, it's been 84 years since you fed us Gladiator AU and you left it in a juicy place. Where is it going next?

They're riding like hell on that horse. Like they're running from the devil himself, well... because they are. Actually, they're running from much worse. They're running from the might of the entire fucking Roman empire. They've been riding for hours and Kate is crying uncle from the back. Yelena is ANNOYED. This is Kate's fucking fault and now she's "tired". Ain't that cute lol. But Yelena runs the horse into the forest and finds them a spot. They can rest...BUT NOT FOR LONG.

"I'm going to go see if I can find us water."

Yelena is being hella snippy and, frankly...I don't blame her. The fuck did Kate just talk her into?! The severity of it has sunk in as they've been riding and she's mad Kate made her kill a bunch of innocent people. Killing people in the arena is one thing but none of those people had to die. She was a Gladiator not a fucking murderer. She's also fully convinced it won't take a genius to figure this out and that they'll be after them/her in not time so she's STRESSED.

Yelena starts to leave in whichever fucking direction. They're literally in the woods at night. She doesn't have a fucking clue where she is going to supposedly "look for water" aka mostly she just needs space for a second. But Kate, Kate never knowing when to read a room comes after her and is like

"Hi."

"Bitchhhhhhhhhh...did I not leave you on horse babysitting duty???"

Yelena keeps walking but Kate literally cuts her off, stands in front of her, holds her face, and kisses her. For the first time in almost nine months Kate's lips are on hers.

Within seconds the waterskin Yelena was carrying is on the floor and her hands are around Kate. Within a minute they're on the floor ripping each other's clothes off.

---

Later, when they're tired and spent, and with the moonlight illuminating them, Kate straddles Yelena and does her best to examine her body looking at all the new scars she doesn't remember from before. Kate had memorized Yelena's body and she can easily spot which ones weren't there. Yelena tells her the story of all of them.

Yelena is now reminded why the bullshit from the last twelve hours is all worth it. She'd kill anyone she has to for a million nights like this. After a while they fall asleep in tangled in each other's bodies.

---

When Yelena wakes up Kate isn't there. She puts her clothes on and she walks back to where they left the horse. The horse is gutted open and Kate is sitting there, tears running down her face with a dude holding a knife to her neck.

"She's finally up. Lucky for me, you're not that hard to find Beast."

"Did Drusus send you?"

This is one of the headhunters that is after her.

"At least you're smarter than you look and..."

One of Yelena's knives is tucked out of sight on her back along her waistline. She isn't sure how Kate gets the message but it's a good thing they're on the same wavelength because all she has to do is look at Kate a certain way and Kate knows to move her head out of dodge. Out of nowhere Yelena's knife comes hurtling at the dude's skull, lands in his eye socket, and cuts him off mid sentence. He's dead.

While Yelena runs up to the dude and starts picking his pockets to see what he has on him she's is like "BITCH...moveeeee!" because Kate is sitting there, lounging like they're on vacation.

They take his horse and jet.

They get to the nearest town and Yelena gives Kate some of the dude's money.

"Go get new clothes. You 1) have dude's blood on you and 2) stand out everywhere with your rich girl fit. Get shit you can blend in with. I'm going to go get us some stuff. Keep your head down. Don't attract attention to yourself."

"Clothes, generic, be chill. GOT IT!"

Does Katerina Episkupus have a SINGLE FUCKING CHILL BONE IN HER FUCKING BODY?! We all know she doesn't...

Sooooooo...Yelena is over at the food end of the market getting them supplies to last them days. They're probably going to have to go deep into hiding if she also has headhunters after her and they can't be going places to get food and water. They need to be stocked up. All of a sudden...a commotion from the center of the market. Then she hears Kate's loud ass fucking mouth. OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

She quickly pays for this shit, grabs all the other things she had already bought, and hustles through the crowd. She finds Kate legit brawling with a dude and the entire market looking at them. Yelena jumps in and the dude is on the floor with one punch. She looks at Kate and she's like

"WHAT PART OF THIS IS FUCKING BEING CHILL?!"

"He punched his wife. I had to punch him."

"jcmsbfksjfkwfjsjfjdn I WANT TO KILL YOU."

Yelena grabs all their shit and drags Kate out of there while everyone on the market stares at them. Then Yelena notices Kate's hands are empty and she doesn't have any bags.

"Did you get clothes? Where are the clothes?"

"😬😬😬"

"KATE!"

"I was in the middle of buying clothes from him and then he was a fucking prick."

Right then they're walking by a stall that has clothes hanging and Yelena just rips whatever was closest to her hand off the hanger and they basically start running at that point. Add "thief" to the growing list of crimes Kate continues to drive her to commit.

The commotion has attracted the attention of the young rookie soldiers that are assigned to patrol the market. One of them takes one good look at Yelena and instantly recognizes her. He used to be a Gladiator stan at one point. He went to games every weekend with this family. It was his fucking jam. He grew up watching Yelena fight in the arena. There's no mistaking her.

What is a woman like THAT doing here, causing these sorts of trouble, and accompanied by another woman who is clearly of much higher status??? That's definitely going to stick out in his mind.

If this is how these idiots were trying to fly under the radar they MISERABLY failed. Word is already starting to spread that Yelena is wanted for the murder of a Roman General so it's not going to be long before every soldier in the Republic is looking for her and being asked about her...including this kid.